#absolute bsd slander

[vivizaii]

BIG SCARY DAZAI RANT/KINNIE ANALYSIS INCOMING (PT 1)

ok so aehsfk HI THIS IS VIVI AND IM OUT TO GET THE LONGEST DAZAI RANT AWARD [proud] ,, a cookie for you if you make it till the end !!!!! i js needed to write down all my thoughts/theories/analyses bc its physically IMPOSSIBLE for me to think of anything except dazai rn and i feel like i HAVE to do this (cough cough hyperfixation)

TW : theres gonna be mentions of su!cide, death and a bunch of other dark shit so if u donr like that dont read past this !!

I'd like to start this rant by calling out people who mischaracterise dazai and say they kin him just because hes su1cidal. sorry to break it to you all but unless you genuinely understand his character and dont js say u kin him bc of like one kinnie bingo you pulled out of your ass crack NO YOU DO NOT KIN HIM !!! yes youre allowed to kin him but not when youre mischaracterising the absolute fuck out of him in the process, hes a very complex character and lets bfr like 80% of bsd fans dont even TRY to understanfd him and keep spreading mischaracterisation around. they just label him as some suicidal bandage wasting machine and get it done with, yes ofc u can slander him but the way some people GENUINELY only think of him like that is just 😭 THERE IS MUCH MORE TO HIS CHARACTER, HES SUCH A WELL WRITTEN GUY AND IT MAKES ME MAD TO SEE HIM JUST REDUCED DOWN TO THAT.

kinnie analysis coming in like an hour gyus follow 2 stay updatefd !!!

[a-persons-posts]

Spoilers and slander for bsd season5 ep 4

Okay. So far Bones, we tried to tolerate you robbing us rom the beautiful little panels and moments from BSD.

Akutagawa's death was supposed to be FUCKING sad and what did we get like three low quality scenes?

I am officially absolutely disheartened at this. Akutagawa deserved better.

Although off topic the bbg treatment Bram got was cute. I honestly got chills when I saw his manga version but in the anime? I was like how does he look so good?

[angolicious]

NSFW BELOW CUT

A list of characters who i think would absolutely orgasm during a make out session- before you EVER even touched them, and then get embarrassed about it.

1.) Atsushi Nakajima

Are you really gonna sit here and question this one??? This boy is so so touch starved. He purrs when you guys make out and i just know it. I fucking know it…. Probably does NOT see it coming until it’s already happened, and honestly it takes him a moment to register it before he has a full fucking mental breakdown. He probably cries.

2.) Junichirou Tanizaki

This one is pretty self explanatory too…. Junichirou is a bit of a geed let’s be real. Unlike atsushi- he probably sees it coming. He honestly probably starts panicking the second he realizes he’s getting hard, especially if it’s one of the first times you guys are making out. Sees it coming- can’t stop it- and is left with the cold hard realization when you grind yourself down onto him- and he just lets it happen. Probably doesn’t EXPLAIN to you what happened, so unless you’re super perceptive you might not know. Locks himself in the bathroom to clean up and tells you he has a stomach ache.

3.) Chuuya nakahara

I’m sorry for the Chuuya slander. I know some of you may be shocked that he’s on here! But… i just… i think this is just very in character for him… let’s be honest. I think Chuuya is a little touch starved…. I think he just… gets a little worked up a little too fast. He definitely does NOT see it coming. I think when it happens, he finds himself furiously bucking his hips up into you with an unbelievable fervor. His eyes squinted shut, his face flushed, and he’s grumbling.

“Fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck!” And then it happens.

You ABSOLUTELY can connect what just happened from the look of utter shock and disbelief that befalls his beautiful features. Like he’s just sitting there looking ABSOLUTELY mortified. And then he claps both hands over his face and practically shoves you off him to escape.

Probably doesn’t talk to you for a few days afterwards. Like- blatantly avoids you at all costs. He thinks you think he’s some kinda dork now.

Please god…. Feed his ego again. Tell him you thought it was hot. Tell him you still like him. I dunno- kiss his forehead or something. Suck his dick.

4.) kajji motojirou

This… this motherfucker is a geed. Why are you making out with kajii… no seriously what life choices led you to this moment and… are you okay???

I feel like kajji is fairly well aware that he is a VERY lucky man to have made it even this far with you. He is most likely not going to get another chance like this and he plans to make the most of it. It would be nice to cum because of something other than his own fist for once.

He does it purposely. It is all on purpose and you can tell he is getting off on every second of it, gripping your hips and thrusting up into your clothes ass as he mumbled soft whimpers of.

“Yes- yes- yes-“ against your lips.

Wether or not you let him do this or blue ball him? That’s up to you.

5.) Edgar Allan Poe

Oh Edgar my sweet baby….. my love my angel….

He doesn’t mean to… he really doesn’t. I actually have like a whole separate post dedicated to this idea with just him because i just know that he would….

You have to know he does NOT mean to. I feel like this is a concern lingering in the back of his mind… because the mere thought of you touching him gives him a boner. The shame of you feeling him getting hard over you is enough… but this? This is mortifying. Like i said in a separate post. It probably wouldn’t happen just because of the act of making out. It would take a little extra coaxing, but nothing crazy. He’s probably already rock hard just from being able to kiss you like this, and he knows damn well you can feel it and he’s so embarrassed. But i feel like you might push him over the edge if you ran your nails through his hair, or gently rubbed at his thigh. That’s it. You’ve killed him.

Like i said in another post, probably locks himself in his room and won’t let you come in until you literally pick the lock and let yourself in.

Lay with him, let him be the little spoon, kiss his head and coo to him about how it’s okay. Tell him you thought it was hot.

Play your cards right and you might get a second try, and this time get to make him cum the right way.

6.) Mushitarou oguri

Another geed. An absolute nerd. Has never seen a pair of tits in his entire life. Well- hes seen porno magazines but he got a nose bleed and was too embarrassed to keep looking…

That’s how much of a virgin we’re talking about here. But that’s okay! It’s completely okay. You just have to be patient and gentle with him. He gets very very nervous the first couple of times that you guys make out.

He’s eager to move onto other stuff… i just know it. Oguri strikes me as the type who is secretly a horn ball and once you get him started there’s no stopping him.

But while you guys are making out, he starts thinking about how you might feel when things move further… and he’s so lost in the thought he fails to notice he’s getting hard. But you notice…. Oh god you notice.

One second he’s sitting there fantasizing about what his first blowjob is going to feel like and then-

Well. Bam. It’s happened. His eyes go wide. His whole body freezes. His face goes bright red. He gets another nose bleed. He just sits below you completely stiff and frozen. He doesn’t run. He just… completely shuts down. Kinda looks like he wants to cry.

Another baby who only deserves the sweetest of love and patience. Please god if you make fun of him… he will run away and that’ll be the end of the relationship. Be sweet to him… i beg you. Tell him it’s okay.

Maybeeee offer him that blowjob to help take his mind off the utter shame he’s going to feel for the next couple of weeks.

7.) sigma

Sweet sweet sigma baby… he has NO idea how human anatomy works. He doesn’t know how his own anatomy works.

He’s probably only just coming to terms with the fact that you do much more than make his heart beat faster.

He’s probably already had a very VERY awkward conversation with Nikolai where he subtly tried to ask why he gets so uncomfortable… below the belt… when you guys make out. And… Nikolai absolutely lost his ever loving fucking mind… just… lost his shit. Cackling like a mad man… much to sigma’s embarrassment.

Sigma learned to turn to Google for answers from this point on. Not Gogle. Google. Add an extra o. That’s the difference.

So by about the fourth time you guys are making out… he’s well aware of what his body is doing when it starts happening. That of course…. Only makes him even more embarrassed. But… you crawl your way up into his lap, and as your kissing, the subtle friction you’re giving him….

He’s shocked at how good it feels…. It’s absolutely incredible. He finds himself squirming slightly below you, his hips moving desperately to get more of this friction that feels oh so good… and he completely loses it for a second as you rub yourself gently against his erection-

And then…. And then he reaches absolute… sudden euphoria.

His eyes blow wide, his jaw goes slack- he lets out a soft.

“Oh god… oh… oh-“ against your lips as his whole body trembles in your grasp.

Only after he comes down from the high, does the embarrassment set in…. Because he grasps what he’s just done… and he can hear your soft gasp of shock.

“Oh…~ sigma!”

His only option now? Escape.

“I’m- im so sorry- oh my god I’m so sorry! I did NOT mean to do that- i- i don’t know what came over me!!”

He needs reassurance… please god offer him reassurance.

And…. Of course… there’s always the option to give him another lesson on how good it can feel. Because he barely knows how amazing it feels yet.

[note-boom]

It's.....real?

There is not a single word in the English or dismiss vocabulary that can help me describe how I feel about this picture.

[mrpenguinpants]

OMG wait, I do have an idea—

Keqing going through a retirement of a company that basically raised her and taught her many stuff, telling the guys about it, and them dragging her to a day in order to get over it

They wind up in a convenience store and a song that the company used to comfort her once plays, she sings along and Diluc is just like “Let’s go get some snacks while she cries it out” (directed to Zhongli), Kaeya is silent because he doesn’t feel like being cheerful anymore, and after like the chorus, him and Childe sing along with beers as their mics. The store owner comes to them and yells at how they’re scaring off customers and Kaeya is like “You know what, fuck you!”, Childe follows up with “No one’s here besides us anyway!”, and Keqing just loses it and joins in the slander being like “Yeah, we can do whatever we want, fuck off!”

Diluc aggresively swipes his card and tries to get them out of the store as quickly as possible and Zhongli is like genuinely impressed. They spend the whole day by her side, making sure that she was okay and happy even for just short whiles.

- keqing harem brainrot anon

In case you may have missed it, I would absolutely write a Keqing/Childe pairing for you^^

GOD. I LOVE IT WHEN I SEE YOU POP UP IN MY INBOX. Please never leave;; Honestly Keqing anon, don’t feel pressured to feel that you can only shoot me a msg whenever you have more harem ideas (but I do love anything you send). If you just wanna chat about anything, I’m completely down^^

I’m always the worst when it comes to replying to people on time but please, don’t take it the wrong way.  Actually you know what, this is my call out post. 

I am shit at replying to people on time. It’s not because I’m ignoring you or I don’t care (I do a lot). Social interaction is just really hard on me plus school is grabbing me by the neck. Everything is due tomorrow WHY IS EVERYTHING DUE TOMORROW. I just wanna see my boy;;

But anyways, CONTENT. I feel like if this was an actual show, this would be those “monster of the week” kinda deals and then something huge happens and everything goes down hill. cries in bsd and dororo

I still haven’t read Keqing’s character story so I’m just gonna headcanon this as actual lore and if it is WOW AM I UPSET. I can just imagine them all having their two brain cell fun and then Keqing get’s a letter and just seems so upset. Everyone is so used to her business, I was not payed enough to deal with this fucking shit *clenches fist*, type attitude that when she seems genuinely upset. No one knows what to do because it’s such whiplash. Zhongli comes in clutch because he both respects Keqing but he also has no social awareness or cues so he asks what’s wrong. Everyone else is emotionally constipated COUGH DILUC AND KAEYA COUGH but gives him the thumbs up. 

I can see Childe being the one to propose the idea, he has younger siblings and even if Keqing is technically maybe older than him (is he? I have no idea) he get’s mad mother hen instincts. Totally the type to simp for his friends. Honestly, I can see this failed harem to be those budget road trip movies haha. But yeah Zhongli has great practical advice even if his words are so metaphorical he sounds like Shakespeare, but in practice the man is horrible. Can spit the facts but can’t make the act. Diluc is...so emotionally constipated that he’s the kinda guy that will give you the most awkward hug you’ve ever felt in your life. Actually feels like he’s trying to liquify your spine. Kaeya is a complete ass and will straight up avoid that situation entirely but pretend he was there the entire time. So the mom role get’s shoved onto Childe. 

Keqing anon, being serious right here. I want covid to end so I can go on 3am adventures down to the convenience store. It really hits different. Who needs to go on a backpack trip around Europe when I can go down to my local 7/11 at waytooearly oclock with the lads. As much as I hate living with roommates it REALLY hits different. 

That mental image of singing along with a song that makes you sad while you cry your eyes out at a convenience store is SUCH A SAD MOOD. If anyone asks me how my mental state is I’m gonna tell them this. Well actually my mental state is “I have at least 5 new updates on my computer but I refuse to shut down or reset my computer to do the update. It’s either the computer forces itself to hard reset or I have these updates for the rest of my life”. Basically I have chronic insomnia and my brainworm posts is when I’ve officially burnt myself out. But getting back on topic (if it isn’t obvious I’m in those brainworm moods rn), rip Diluc man. Has to be the responsible adult when Keqing is out of commission. BUT YES KAEYA IS SUCH THE TYPE TO SAY YOU KNOW WHAT, FUCK YOU. JUST FUCK YOU MAN. I stan the kaeya/childe idea that they are actually two brain cell fuckers that vibe together but would never be caught dead next to each other. You know how Chongyun has his like, bursts of adrenaline? That’s how I see Keqing. 

Poor Diluc playing damage control while Zhongli is old grandpa that’s proud of everyone as he drinks his tea out of a juice box. But this is some wholesome stuff keqing anon 💕💕

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ALSO. WHY DID NO ONE TELL ME THAT IF YOU SPLIT SCREEN TUMBLR ON YOUR WINDOW ON BROSWER YOU HAVE ALL THE MOBILE FEATURES?? YOU CAN DO SMALL TEXT AND COLOUR TEXT. 

I can’t screenshot it so here is my crappy camera pic. Also be warned, tumblr might accidently kick you out of your draft SO PLEASE SAVE FIRST. I’m always been going on mobile and awkwardly trying to highlight everything to small text. Time re-write my entire response again...