#about my novel

[cowandcalf]

I took a break from writing my first novel to participate in the H50 Big Bang writing challenge and I finished my McDanno story. I longed to be with the boys for a bit. Sometimes, it helps to take a break from a big writing project to gain some distance. I'm back at reading my own writing to ease myself back into this fantastic world and vibe I've created for my novel. It's a merpeople AU. It always fascinates me how I forget about details after some time away from my project. But I'm back now and I'm so happy and proud of what I wrote so far. I want to share one paragraph because I laughed out loud when I read it just now. I'll finish what I've started.

"Let's get you inside. Why did you take off your coat? You're not waterproof anymore, okay? You need rain protection otherwise you freeze, and people will look at you because you behave weirdly. Human weird, it's different to merpeople weird."

[solarianvoidthearoace]

Okay, okay, so–

My novel requires a re-write of the 24 chapters I already have done-ish (which aren’t even covering all the plot I have planned)

The final 6-10 chapters (not yet written, just loads of notes) are supposed to be a complete genre-swap

And I have been really into RPG-Maker type games recently

I was thinking… what I have planned as the final arc of my novel would make a fine story to be put into an RPG-Maker style basic RPG

I’m hoping RPG Maker MZ goes on sale sometime soon (maybe when Steam has its next huge sale in general)

Story summarised without spoiling too much:

Player Character (PC) & Player’s Partner (PP) are a happy couple

Evil Mother (EM) kidnaps PP

PP’s Best Friend (BF) accuses PC

PP sends a covert message to forget about them

PC and BF get into fights with each other

PC and BF stake out EM’s house

It looks like EM is brainwashing PP

PC wants to involve police

BF want to break PP out themself

Observation looks like PP is barely hanging on

PC and BF team up

Over-dramatised breakout and subsequent escaping the city

BF concedes that maybe PC is right for PP after all

The three live happily ever after

In the novel writing-notes this includes a non-amorous/ aromantic polycule and obviously none of the characters is straight (I’m a tumblr user after all)

But I figure with the drama, the fighting, the “quest” to rescue PP and everything, it would maybe make a nice little RPG and the way the story is planned for the novel, PP would be bigender (which in a game would mean the player gets to choose whether their Love Interest used “he/him” or “she/her”) and overall it’s just very queer, which could all translate into simple variations being all up to the player (like Player Character’s pronouns, Love Interest’s pronouns, type of relationship, etc.)

And I figure the sprite of the PP would get a drastic change as EM is forcing them to adapt to what she demands rather than allowing PP to be themself

Initially PP looks more androgynous (hence up to the player which pronouns are used) and after the abduction, PP would have hair cut short and forced to conform to the gender binary – I just realised, this is basically a “forced detransition” storyline, because in my OG version PP is she/he nonbinary. oof. yikes.

I’m a writer, not a game-maker or artist, though

I haven’t looked into what a basic RPG Maker game takes but would a storyline like this be of interest for anyone?

I know a few people I could ask to help with GIs and character sprites;

And I think I can figure the rest out, depending on RPG Maker’s UI

As I said, I hope RPG Maker MZ goes on sale sometime soon and that I can figure it out pretty intuitively

I know my storyboard, as a writer I tend to focus on dialogue (aka script), and I already made some notes

I want high customisation at the beginning, like, as a feature, that there are default names but the player can also choose to name the PC and PP, like how the player can pick the characters’ pronouns, because I assume that’d create some more emotional attachement

Default names I intend so far are Aleks and Emory (not related to the novel draft I pull this whole plotline from)

The first few minutes are going to be a “week” of PC interacting with PP and their shared home to also further attachment/ make the player care about the love interest; as well as adding some context on the relationship, giving the player time to figure out controls, etc.

That “first week” is supposed to include some simple choices about interacting with the love interest, emphasising the affection between PC and PP (like “cuddle on the couch”, “share food”, “join for shower”)

And I want to utilise a color filter/ overlay because the ‘secondary perspective’ relevant character is colorblind, which would be signified through that color overlay (also to make POV changes easily recognisable)

[solarianvoidthearoace]

Except nobody I’m still calling a friend ever read more than a chapter of my novels 😅🥲

Or really much of any of my writing 😅

I can’t motivate myself to get started on that damn re-write also

[lucidloving]

@roach-works // Melissa Broder, "Problem Area" // Mary Oliver, "The Return" // @annavonsyfert // Koyoharu Gotouge, Demon Slayer // Haruki Murakami, Dance Dance Dance // David Levithan, How They Met and Other Stories // Tennessee Williams, Notebooks

[ilovedthestars]

there really are few emotions i find more compelling in a story than "you should be afraid of me. please don't be afraid of me"

[runawaymarbles]

Reading Mockingjay as an adult is extra devastating because. Of course the plucky teenager and her ragtag friends aren't going to sneak into a government building to kill the president with a bow and arrow. That's absolutely ridiculous. It's the kind of thing that's only possible in the kind of propaganda that Coin developed. But she's so good at it that in some ways she tricks the reader into thinking that's the kind of story this is, too--even after 3 books reminding us that pretty much everything that Katniss does the second she volunteers is manipulated by adults pulling strings to make propaganda in some form or another.

[solarianvoidthearoace]

#we need more books like loveless

I genuinely, sincerely, hope that my novel can be similar to this

I know my novel won’t ever make it big, it’s too queer and too out of whack for that

But I sincerely hope that my novel maybe someday makes someone understand what it’s like to be an aroace “in love” with an aroallo

(Plus the loveless aro side-guy and the promiscuous alloace and overall queerness because fuck gender)

I was talking to someone about Loveless the other day and they were going on about how 'sad it was' and whilst I get it's not a happy book etc, it's not really supposed to be sad in that way. It's supposed to be a book about accepting who you are, and learning that's its okay to be who you are, and aro ace people shouldn't be excluded from that

What is sad is that I forget how many people still view aro and/or ace people + anyone on the spectrum as 'broken' or as 'missing something' or 'lonely' or 'depressed'. Like we are NOT broken for god sake and my depression is definitely not from being ace. I'm not saying it's easy but I hate how we are often stereotyped

[yuutaguro]

it’s not a sin to be a child ☁️

[solarianvoidthearoace]

Oh mood. And in some ways writing a self-insert story makes it worse

Because I know I wouldn’t want sex

But since the self-insert is obviously fictional and therefor the sex is fictional, for some reason my self-insert wants sex… does that make sense?

The self-insert is supposed to be me, sex-averse aegosexual and everything, but because they are fictional, I misinterpret my comforts when writing them

It’s honestly annoying 😬

makes me super sad that i constantly question my asexuality. thing is, i’m not exactly asexual, i’m aegosexual, AND i feel aesthetic attraction pretty strongly. i get constantly confused that i’m not ace because wow! people are hot! sex can BE hot! but do I WANT sex? lord. god, no

[tossawary]

I just know in my heart of hearts that in "Star Trek" at one point, there was some moral panic somewhere on Vulcan (among the uppity sorts) because Human culture was "infecting" the local youth with their overly emotional, destructive, unproductive, frivolous, and uneducational ways.

And what was actually happening was that a bunch of Vulcan kids got really into 23rd-century "Minecraft" or something.

Small Vulcan child @ another Vulcan child: (in a tone that sounds flat to Humans but angry as hell to Vulcans) "You have compromised the optimization of my fortress. I am having an emotional urge to blow up your house... in Minecraft."

[llamahearted]

two people will go through similar things & learn to cope in different ways

print ♥︎ song

[solarianvoidthearoace]

Thank you :3

My novel main cast consists of:

Jerry – bigenderflux nonbinary-femme, still a man, aromantic bisexual; later on calls himself his partner’s girl

Cal – agender-genderqueer sex-repulsed aroace; end ups scoring Jerry as their queerplatonic/ alterous waifu

Elmo – aplatonic aroallo gay, proud fag, proud slut, “I’m easy, doesn’t mean I’m cheap” ‘nough said

Ben – demisexual gay guy who has a similar reputation to Elmo, ends up dating Jerry

And aside from Cal, they all sleep with each other (and Ben and Elmo with whomever else) as they please

I still need to re-write that novel but my she/he main character is set in stone and it only gets more queer XD

queer people online: transfag too weird. transbian too problematic. cancel lil nas x

queer people irl: i literally don't have a gender but lesbian sounds cool so that's me now. im bi but im feeling gay today. im not a man and i dress femininely but my pronouns are he/him. i am repulsed by the idea of sex but i make the best sex jokes you've ever heard

[mimikyuno]

im literally sobbing in bed trying to sleep but mizu5 literally tore my heart out. i cant stop crying fr. i genuinely think mizuki akiyama is making history as one of the best written trans characters im so serious. the kindness and carefulness in which her story is being told is mindblowing. this event was perfect tbh. im so fr. no way after such a long wait the secret was gonna be revealed with happy tears and there. done. this event Physically altered the game. it’s the only event to do so, and the only event to end on such a cliffhanger. the way the whole event gets the player to empathise fully with mizuki - you feel her anxiety and her fear and pain. and then the rooftop scene. it was unbearable. her coming out was taken away from her. she had to see ena’s shocked expression from the sidelines. ena, the one she wanted to tell the most. ena, who has been waiting for her by her side for all this time. seeing the realization dawn on ena is too much for and she runs, like she always has. even though she Knows ena was just shocked. she Knows ena and niigo will accept her.

(sidenote i cut lots of dialogue from the screenshots above bc tumblr 10 images limit)

“you’re so kind, ena.” but that does not matter. it’s all ruined. in niigo’s eyes, mizuki was just a girl. a “normal girl”, as the classmates called ena. even if niigo accepts her, she’s terrified that they’re never gonna see her as a “real girl” again. just like her classmates. this change in their perception is heartbreaking, terrifying. and even more than that is the fear that from now on, niigo is only gonna act normal around her out of pity. the thought is unbearable. it’s all ruined. nothing can ever be like before in mizuki’s eyes. her precious, safe place was ripped away from her. mizuki’s pain felt so real and raw that i still get chills when i think of the last two chapters of this event. the way ena screamed and ran after her, her desperation to reach her, her horror at seeing how much mizuki’s been suffering, the way mizuki’s coming out was also taken away from ena. their precious moment, long awaited, stolen and destroyed by some careless, transphobic comments. “are you also a dude?”. ena’s anger at herself for not being able to reassure mizuki, for not knowing what to say in the face of all that hurt and fear.

the event ends with an unskippable black screen, and mizuki’s voice saying “you reap what you sow,” and then these lines:

mizuki’s dissociation and suicidal thoughts hit me like a truck. as meiko told kaito, this situation is so fragile. and all it took was ena’s shocked expression to send mizuki into a dissociative spiral.

(continues in rb)

[stuckinapril]

[randomgarbagecan]

[beetleandfox]

I love how unsanitized The Terror feels. Like there’s grime everywhere. You can tell those men smell bad. When they do surgery you can hear the bone being cut, when they get sick they look genuinely ill. The main character’s actor even has pockmarks, he LOOKS like he could be from the 1800s! And idk, I think it’s cool that we’re so aware of the characters’ carnal desires. They’re hungry, thirsty, freezing, etc, and it is so obvious that they have a body with needs!!

I think this also accounts for how horny the show feels, even though everyone is bundled up 90% of the time and there are no real romantic subplots. Besides the fact that it’s a very carnal show, it just has the intimacy and grime of true horniness. Is this thing on