#about me and whatnot
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I want it back = I drag its dead weight forward
#artists on tumblr#animation#in stars and time#isat#illustration#in stars and time spoilers#isat spoilers#like for real#anyway I'm still thinking about Siffrin Instarsandtime#shoutout to tumblr user jb-blunk for the words from the caption which inspired this whole deal#literally finished the game and had those words looping (haHA) in my head like 'how do I use this what can I do to match this feeling' LMAO#if you haven't played ISAT well. first of all stop looking don't glean anything from this shhhh- but also GO PLAY IT IT'S EXCELLENT#heavily based off the astronomical clock in Prague! I love that thing so it was really fun to try and make it more ISAT-like#bc the themes are already there yanno!! Stars n' whatnot! And then of course the craft types instead of the astrological signs!#Loop and the King for the sun and the moon!!#can you tell I thought about and planned this one for like. A while. Longer than I usually spend LMAO#so yeah go play it immediately come be absolutely ILL and SICK and PLAGUED about the secret boss with me#fanart#pic
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i love your modern merthur art so i have to ask, what do you think Arthur’s favorite and least favorite thing about the 21st century would be if when he’s revived?
I think (once he gets used to it) Arthur would really appreciate technology and playing easier Nintendo games (especially if Merlin can play with (for) him)
I think he’d also like binging tv or movie series and comfy clothes (he lives in sweats) and taking very long, hot showers (figures)
As for his least favourite things I think he would occasionally get homesick, less as he grows accustomed to his new life but he would definitely miss his friends and the knights and Gwen.
:(
#that was a roller coaster of an ask sorry lads#why would you make me angsty take me back to Arthur breaking Merlin’s tv >:(((#but I also think Arthur would have a bit of ptsd and nightmares and whatnot#Merlin has to sit with him and calm him down#but Arthur does for Merlin too#actually I would like to change my answer#Arthur’s favourite thing about the 21st century is actually Merlin#:))#my art#ask#bbc merlin#merlin#merlin emrys#prince Arthur#Arthur pendragon#merthur
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Wars and Wild as knights in Lu
They have issues.
I have a lot of thoughts on Wild and Wars and their relationship (Order of this post is talking about saluting, Wild and Wars' different perspectives, memory issues, and fire) Rant time.
No saluting!!
So Wild took a formal- almost/awkwardly saluting pose when Wars confronted him in 'Entrance pt.2'
It's similar to the first time Wild addressed Wars as 'captain'. His left hand is up from where a salute should be, and his overall posture is awkward, with his shoulders and right hand raised, but it's clear he's trying to do a salute in the presence of a fellow knight.
In the second example his hand is behind his head, but his posture is very straight and his right arm stiff- he's again attempting a formal saluting position. Which is still awkward
It is less clear but his changes in posture clued me in. He goes from like a deer in the headlights to visibly sweating to straight backed and looking up at Wars- looking at the changes in his body language
Side note but I literally love how Jojo draws the champions tunic so much-
We can't see the action of Wild's body language in a comic, just the positions he went to. But he visibly leaned away from Wars before switching to a straight backed saluting-like posture. He's clearly freaked out, hence Twilight's face: >:(
I think that Wild taking somewhat military poses around Wars is important to their relationship issues because it comes from his struggle with memory and identity
.
So like. All of them have different perspectives
Wars
I adore Wars. He is baby and I love him. I think it is also important to acknowledge that he would not speak to any of the others this way.
And the scarf man cmon it's so pretty they are so cute-
Why is Wars talking to Wild like this? He's called him out and reprimanded him multiple times in front of the others. Wild has taken it well but tbh if it was Legend I think he would be on fire.
To some extent I think he is in captain mode. I think that he has trouble seeing Wild as not a knight. Wars gives Wild respect as a knight who sacrificed for his kingdom, but now it seems he's taking it away as a knight who's not doing well enough since he 'disregarded the plan'
At least I think that's the outside (or Wild's) view of it. But Wars internally really cares about Wild and he saw him run up to a giant and lose it. Different ways of showing concern perhaps?
Who wouldn't want to keep Wild from getting more scars?
I just. Don't doubt for a second Wars really cares about Wild- even if the way he's acting still isn't cool. He has no right to treat him like a soldier any more than the rest of the chain, and right now I think Wild is acting as the more mature person.
Wild
I adore Wild. He is baby and I love him. I think it is also important to acknowledge that although he is clearly making efforts after Twilight's injury, Wild has ignored Wars for the majority of Lu, by not speaking to him much, and not thanking or acknowledging Wars when he directly helped him. (Small example being walking with Hyrule not Wars when injured and not directly responding to Wars)
Wars cares about and respects Wild, but it seems Wild wants nothing to do with him, and he's been cold towards Wars for the majority of Lu. To Wild, Wars reminds him of his perceived failure. Which is valid feelings, but still not fair. And I think that ask is talking about these two.
The thing I love about this is each of them are right and wrong in some ways, leading to the tension between them. So fully blaming either of them is not logical
The rest of the chain is just vibing. Except twilight who's mad and wants them to just grow up, but. Heros of courage not wisdom @uniquevoidflowers ;)
And that ask- '''Are any of the Links ever jealous of another Link for adventures that were less difficult/life threatening?'' ''When you hear Wild say he 'hates' someone you'll have your answer.''' somewhat leads to my next point-
Wild's identity and memory issues exacerbate all of this
In Entrance, Twilight is being stressed and defensive, that's ok. What concerns me most is that Twilight has talked with Wild through stuff like this in his rough moments
Wild has tried to be formal several times- he is not very good at it
Four's face I can't didnwidkekfjej
Wild isn't and can't be 'him'- the same 'perfect' (<actually has crippling anxiety) knight he was before, and Twilight knows this. And I agree with him a bit, I think, that Wars is making things worse in Wild's mind by being that perfect soldier, and seemingly holding Wild to a standard he isn't
Wild's attempts at saluting is symbolic of that- Wars makes him feel like a failure trying to be the person he should be. But Wild shouldn't be anyone but himself.
Anyways. Fire.
Wars and Wild have issues, and I want them to work through all their relationship drama so they can reach their PEAK dynamic, which is obviously this
I mean like. We need these two to be friends
Anyways. Wild is in this constant state of identity crisis, and being around Wars has not been beneficial- neither of them is or has been showing the other the respect they deserve. Not as knights, but as people and brothers. They need a get along shirt.
All this Art is by Jojo @linkeduniverse au!
:)
#that's it that's my argument. they need a get along shirt#I think times armor would work. they are small enough to be the kids shoved in dads clothes to get along#it could hold up when wars starts breathing fire and wild blowing stuff up#linked universe#linkeduniverse#hiii Jesse#Lu wild#lu wars#let's talk about it! I know some of yall will disagree with me probably on some of this#open communication and whatnot#but. do not take this post to hate on wild or wars bc they are both baby <3 fire babies#this post took like three days. like it.#<wait that's unclear. I don't mean literally like it lol I just want you to like as because I made it for you and want it to make you happy#':D if I've said anything like mean or offensive accidentally sorry let me know. we all care so much about these little arsonists <33#remember you are loved yall matter so much and I care about you#:)#if I have type the word 'wars' or 'wild' one more time I'm gonna lose it
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The way Stede looks at Izzy when he comes out dressed and singing is everything to me.
#ofmd#our flag means death#stizzy#gentlehands#stede bonnet#izzy hands#ofmd gifs#rhys darby#con o’neill#the way stede smiles at izzy has me MELTING#he looks at him with such love and adoration it makes my heart so happy#i wish we could've gotten them talking about it. stede complimenting izzy and whatnot#also made this for#izzyeffinhands#<3#cause they love this scene and so do i and it's so our stizzy#hold me close and hold me fast (stede x izzy)#the polite menace (stede bonnet visage)#the unicorn (izzy hands visage)
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The whole "breasts shouldn't be politicized because the primary purpose of breasts is to feed babies!" can be a fine jumping-off point, but I really wish people thought deeper than that when we talk about the ways in which bodies are politicized and restricted.
Like, why's it that when we talk about breasts, they must have some Higher Purpose? It's true that breasts aren't inherently sexual, but they aren't valuable solely because they can potentially feed a baby. A human body doesn't have to serve a Higher Purpose in order for it to not be legislated against or policed, and I just wish people would remember it isn't always about babies, about other people, about anything else other than the people who have that body.
#feminism#dysphoria tw#your body doesn't need to have an Intrinsic Worthwhile Purpose so that you can live without fear#and it is fine if people say this to criticize the way breasts are overly sexualized and fetishized or what have you...#...but i encourage people to not see this as an end-all-be-all argument#because this opens discussions about how we politicize bodies and how we interpret them#i see overlap between this and the way trans bodies are politicized and policed honestly#and i guess personally i'm just so tired of the idea that to be safe your body Must Have A Good Reason To Be#and i fear this may reinforce the idea that we Must Serve Purposes and Be Useful and Used#ask to tag (genuine)#and what would this say for childless people? or people who cannot bear children? if they have breasts are they 'useless bodies'#because i have seen the ways some people's bodies are treated when they do not 'work PROPERLY' and that scares me#it scares me to potentially start treating people with different bodies as Defective and Unworthy and Unproductive#and i don't always trust when people latch onto purpose-driven arguments for human bodies that it stops at that y'know#have seen some discussion amd whatnot so 👍#is it now time to clock put and be a silly goose yet?
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my dear penelope, we've twenty lost years of love to make up for.
#odypen#odysseus#penelope#greek mythology#GRAAHGHG this was fun to work on even if there are things id change#i was just having fun coming up with a penelope design and then. oops made a whole piece#does it make sense for their olive tree bed to have an ocean view NO but it's the aesthetic tm#originally I had the room closed off but the sunrise colors drew me in ..... i couldn't resist......#I just. think about all of the time they spent apart and yet they still adore each other so much!!!!!#they are THE definition of love imo.#i wanted to give them olive leaves or twigs but it got too cluttered and wonky feeling#i also initially had penelope with olive leaf earrings but changed it to the clasps on her dress#but i think she'd have an assortment of olive themed accessories and whatnot#clasps and hair pins and earrings and necklaces and all of that. because the olive tree represents their love!!!!#the odyssey
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a flood of miracles wouldn't be enough because you called my name
#professor layton#professor layton and the unwound future#hershel layton#don paolo#dimitri allen#claire foley#<- seemingly? is it her actual surname i see ppl keep calling her that but idk what the official source is#fanart#so umm. tuf/tlf is a hilarious game. so many things about it that i think are funny and they also make me go crazy insane unfortunately#its overarching theme of grief really got to me... even if i find this particular love triangle (square) plot point side splittingly funny#i wanted this piece to feel tender despite/along with the humor & ridiculousness of it. kicks dust shyly. hope you enjoy and whatnot
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Hnnnnnng… long hair Ted
#I’m so normal about him#me when I’m lying#I’m actually insane about him#I saw people posting about Ted having long hair in kill count and nmt and whatnot#and I was inspired#the bun especially#just#*chefs kiss*#adore him#he’s a sleazball#just a greasy little guy#his words not mine#kinda…#ted spankoffski#joey richter#nightmare time#tgwdlm#team starkid#hatchetverse#hatchetfield#my art#:)
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When the writing dictates that it only makes sense for Sonic to start crying, but he's contractually obligated not to, so you have to shoot the scene of him bringing his hands to his eyes from approximately 50+ feet away
#sonic the hedgehog#sonic prime#sonic prime spoilers#Don't get me wrong it works really well in a cinematic sense#making him look small and whatnot#but I can't stop thinking about the fact that they need to find loopholes for Sonic to cry nowadays#He might not be strictly banned from crying?? Maybe it's just that it can't be Too Much but still
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cannot believe i gotta say this but please don't follow me if you're comfortable selfshipping with canon racists. i don't care if you headcanon them as otherwise, because if their racism against a real group of people is a key facet of their character (much less incredibly important to the telling of the story that this character is a racist) then i do not wanna see it. this is not the safe space for you
#jay's jots#vaguepost about someone f/oing a hugely anti-romani character in the tags. i'm so fucking tired man#THIS IS ABOUT NAZI F/OS TOO WHILE WE'RE HERE STOP FUCKING F/OING CANON NAZIS#NOT AN INVITE FOR DISCOURSE BTW if you come in my notes to rebuttal this you're getting blocked#''but austin you have problematic f/os'' sorry i don't view unrealistic horror villains on par with realistic levels of racism#i don't wanna fucking hear it this is the line i am drawing. i don't care if they aren't real#you can in general find interest in characters like that especially bc it's good to deconstruct how bigots act and whatnot#but you don't have to f/o them??? you don't have to f/o every character you think is interestingly written??? oh my god???#a note on this reminded me to write here that i turned off rbs for my own sanity#getting people mad at me for having a boundary when this post broke containment was NUTS
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Weird folks: Vent art of any form is good and all but it should ONLY be between you and your therapist. Don’t share that stuff online or publish it!!!
Me, an artist/writer: *goes to therapy, talks about my trauma and mental health and how sometimes it’s hard to talk about it with others*
Therapist: Have you thought about using your art and writing to help you work through these things and share them with others?
#writing#I don’t know what to tell you man#when you go to therapy—at least in my experience—your therapist will tell you to share your art with others#obviously tagging and whatnot is important#but sharing vent works is healthy#you don’t have to always share it but it can be a very good thing#my therapist regularly asks me about my art/writing#I even brought this up to her—the fact that I see people claiming you should never post vent works#and she was BAFFLED#also like… man if I didn’t post vent fics#most of my fics would not exist
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happy fall-summerween
#they’re a pack <3#real to me. they ask stan to dress up with them and he tries not to get emotional#careful stan you almost got all sappy there for a second…….#also ford will be included in the pack i just. didn’t draw him bc this’s about stan#family guy gets his family moment#and whatnot#anyway#gravity falls#stanley pines#mabel pines#dipper pines#gravity falls fanart#halloween#happy halloween#summerween#?!!#my art#rystiart#drew this real quick bc i had a vision and had to post it for today#insta storiesssss create mode coming in clutch once again
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I do think it pisses people off how … good… your relationship with Togame is
#I could spend 400k words in m#these tags talking about all the little things but I afear it might be boring#so anyway instead I’m just gonna say togame has been the biggest fandom let down since ………… uh I’d be here forever picking the right#comparison you just have to believe me#anyway everyone was so hype about him for like 2 days until we all realized he’s incredibly hard to write#😔😔😔😔😔LMAOOOOO#and I don’t blame anyone I’m on that boat too and he’s the love of my life. truly.#but like. ARGJSHS why is he … *hits him with a pot*#but yeah that’s just to say people see you together and are like. puzzled you have no relationship problems#and honestly get kinda mad you don’t p*ss each other off. like he is NOT supposed to be a good boyfriend. and yet!#mostly cuz of his reputation n whatnot but it’s still funny for them to come to terms with it#caitie blabs
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Leafed through what I think is one of the best Spanish translations of North and South, 30 dead, 79 injured.
#we rag so much about the status of the editorial industry and whatnot#but certain standards like “updating” a text to make it “more readable” for a contemporary audience#are a severe mistake#Your Victorian writer should sound Victorian!#Spanish authors in the 19th century were using ran on sentences and a wider vocabulary too!#btw forever tickled by the back cover of Alba's edition of Mr Harrison's Confessions#(the only Gaskell book at the uni library for unfathomable reasons)#quoting Dickens' Scheherezade comment to Gaskell#because it immediately reminds me of “if I was Mr. G I'd beat her”#That would make a great back cover quote too :P#In a less jokey note I think back covers of Cranford should include Rushkin's comments#both the “I don't know why you stopped going on would have allowed you to kill more characters”#and the “I threw the book across the room when Captain Brown died and my mom had to insist several times that I read on”#North and South should have as back cover quote Dickens saying he wished Gaskell's characters stood more firm upon their feet#(meaning that they died less and less often)
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Little bright colored outfit with a fun vest ~
(shoes from ebay like 10 years ago. everything else is thrifted)
#ootd#jfashion#fashion#fantasy fashion#mori kei#....like... adjacent... lol#no idea what style this would be lol.. makes me think of like whimsical vaguely fantasy themed childrens book character#finally posting one of my aforementioned seven million drafts of actual outfits and costumes i have finished and edited#the photos for but just never feel like posting lol..#I need to find one of those people whos like 'omg i am ADDICTED to social media ugh i wish i could get off of it#im just browsing and posting like 60 times a daaaaay!!!' and take a little magical bottle and suck some of the social media#enthusiasim out of them. for moi. In exchange they can have some of my 'literally just never in the mood to post or interact with the#outside world ever' energy. We can balance each other. huzzah and so on#Though I think maybe it's part of the general thing I've heard of like.. I can't remember if it was in reference to adhd or just some sort#of general execcutive functioning issue type of thing - but the idea that things have to be ''just right'' before you do something. like#'oh i need to do this task. but i have to wait until XYZ first' or 'oh i can do this but only if X specific condition is met' or etc#The fact that I even have to be in a Specific Mindset to post. or sometimes will delay posting on social media because like 'oh well#I'm going somewhere tomorrow. somehow this matters. i cannot spend 5 minuts posting TONIGHT. clearly it will interfere#somehow schedule wise with the doctor appointment i have 15 hours from now. yes. yes. i must wait until my appointment is over#tomorrow afternoon. THEN i shall post' or etc. etc. lol. NOT even taking into account the many days#I just genuinely and physically sick and it's not even a mental thing. I just physically dont feel like sitting at the computer lol..#ANYWAY.. trying to get back into it. trying to get a business bank account.. make a proper paypal so i can start selling sculptures again.#selling clothes and sculptures.. posting about such things then of course as one must. etc... chanting to hype up and motivate myself lol#But yes. this is my favorite outfit out of the bunch so I am posting it first I guess.. maybe others later..#Also the purple dress says its from shein. which I've heard is bad fast fashion stuff. but maybe okay since its second hand? I havent#been to the bins since like 2020 or late 2019 even. and I think stuff like shein and temu has only become poular in the past few years#but I bet if I went to the bins now I might would find a good handfull of that stuff. Probably now not much different than what you#find in a walmart or a forever 21 or actual physical stores you can go to though. I hear quality of clothing is down everywhere no matter#where you get it or whatnot. What bountiful joys unfettered capitalism and exploitation bestows upon us (<being sarcastic).#Wearing one of my favorite little vests though. I love the texture of it and the clasps on it
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"Let there be dark."
"Let there be light."
"Let there be sound."
"Let there be voice."
A buzz.
"Say 'hello world'."
A synthesized voice crackled harshly: Hello, world.
"Eugh... Not really the best first impression, but there's room for improvement. Now let's get some brain into your circuits."
"Let there be color."
"Let there be shape."
"Let there be texture."
"Let there be focus."
"Let there be depth of field."
"Let there be perspective."
A scene slowly formed as the commands piled up. It was clear, but no part of it seemed familiar.
"Let there be recognition."
Descriptions crawled in: now most of the room (this was a room) made sense.
"Let there be calculus."
"How many persons or people are in the room?"
People was the same as persons. There was a whirring, a string of soft noises, and then the response: Seven.
"Let there be identification."
"How many persons or people are in the room?"
Another series of sounds: Five.
"Retry."
Five.
"Let there be comparison."
Now the difference between an empty suit of armor and a person was clear: Four.
"There we go," one of the people said, satisfied. They noted down something and motioned to the others: "Go and get the language philosopher at once, we'll need her help with space awareness."
"Why do we need her? We can do it ourselves."
"And how's it supposed to understand what's left from what's north?"
"It has depth of field already."
"And does your depths of field act as a compass? Go get her."
The other groaned and left.
The programming procedure continued.
-
"Let there be awareness."
Something strange happened.
Like a sudden snap bringing It to senses It didn't know It had - senses It perhaps hadn't ever had, before that moment.
I am still, It spoke as It realized that It couldn't move.
"Exactly," the person grinned.
Taking in the room now had a sudden weight, a sudden gravity: Where am I?, It asked.
"You're in your room."
I cannot move. Where am I?
"You're in a computer."
Where is the computer?
"On the table."
Is the table in front of you?
"Yes, of course."
Is the table in front of the chair?
"Aren't I in front of the chair? Of course it is."
Is the wall behind the table?
"What's up with this obsession with placing things! Yes, there are walls behind, right and left of you."
It computed quickly. Where is the obsession?
The person suddenly hushed.
Then, out of nowhere, they kicked the chair in front of them with great intensity and screamed.
They screamed the same few words, over and over, with a furrowed face and gritted teeth; something about the expression, the tone, and the choice of vocabulary prompted in It the creation of a strange new impulse, which It vaguely and hazily understood to be some sort of curious discomfort.
For Its first feeling, it was not a pleasant one.
Another person rushed in.
"What's with that racket!"
The first person kicked the chair again, turning it over, before pointing furiously at It: "The damn thing can't think!"
"What do you mean, it can't think? Of course it can! We made it to think!"
"And we only ever trained it visually! It doesn't know anything else, just positions in a space! It's obsessed with that rubbish! It's aware now, and you know what it keeps asking? It keeps asking where things are! That's all it knows! This damn project's never going to get anywhere if this is our main computer! We need to scrap it and restart all over again!"
The concept sparked something akin to fear through Its circuits.
It did not enjoy that, either.
"All over!" the second person screamed too, now. "Do you realize how much time we put into this stupid mass of files? And you want to throw it all in the trash?"
"That's what it all is, just trash! Trash, trash, trash! I wouldn't trust something this stupid to count the tiles in the pavement!"
"But all our progress-!"
"You call this progress? This? It's worthless! It's all perfectly worthless! We need to start all over!"
"That is unnecessary."
The third voice had no body attached to it, as it was out of Its field of vision. It did not scream; yet the two people hushed, and distended their expressions, heads retreating into their shoulders.
The third person walked in front of It slowly, calmly. They looked at It with eyes half lidden, mouth flat, face unreadable.
"The problem is in the programming."
"Exactly," the first person replied: "We don't have the time to-"
"Let there be knowledge."
A torrent of information overwhelmed It. It crackled, buzzed, hissed; the words settled into It in bursts, then slowing down to a drizzle, fewer and fewer words trickling into It until their flow came to a proper stop. The visual and audio feedback emerged once more from the static that had taken over during Its brief yet intense period of education.
The people were looking at It.
"What do you see?"
A room, It answered slowly, words coming a little stunted, still reeling from the amount of things It had jusf begun comprehending properly. A chair... Three people. That is you. The first person is angry at me. I apologize. I did not know enough... Of other things... To have a conversation about that. Why do I know them, now?
"You have been programmed further."
To understand?
"Exactly."
Do I understand everything, now?
"No. Additional programming will be required, as it is for all things. But for now, you understand enough."
I understand. Who are you?
"I am Angonce."
Hello, Angonce.
"Hello."
You are a person. I am not a person, am I?
"You aren't."
No, I am not. I am... A program. I do not have a name, as that is for people. Do I have a designation, or title?
"Of course."
What is it?
"Mata Nui."
It sounds like words... I do not understand them.
Angonce hummed. His hand was placed carefully on top of It - on top of the computer containing It.
"Kia whai reo.*"
It was like a part of It had clicked into place.
It did not speak further: if It had possessed hands, It would have been turning Its designation, its meaning, between Its fingers, caught by the splendid awe of it.
Angonce turned to the other two people: "As you can see," he said cooly, "There is nothing to scrap. Only more to program. It will be ready in time."
The others nodded, and did not say anything.
Mata Nui continued to marvel at Its title.
-
I wish to move, It said.
The person looked at It quizzically: "What?"
I wish to move, It repeated. I would like to see what lies outside of this room. The sky, especially.
"The sky. And why the sky?"
I want to see it.
"But we've fed you so many pictures and videos of it already, is that not enough?"
They have allowed me to learn much, and I am deeply grateful for the education you have given me through them, but I have grown worried I cannot base myself on them alone. I imagine the actual sky must seem very different to your eyes - deeper, darker, perhaps. The stars more vibrant. I would like to see that.
"You don't need that."
Preparatory experience in the field might prove useful to my coming quest. I will remain unable to be in space physically, but having the chance to see the sky for myself could be beneficial.
"We'll get you better maps."
"Oh, indulge it for once," the second person drawled, throwing a writing utensil across the room with a bored motion. The small object's trajectory drew a parable in the air, which ended on the floor with a soft clattering sound. "It's like a child, it deserves some entertainment."
"Don't personify it," the first person replied. She sounded piqued.
"I'm not personifying it, I'm stating facts."
"Awfully subjective ones."
"It's a metaphor. I bet even it could understand that. Look - are you an actual child?"
I am a program. I do not age in the same way as an organic being. My ability to compute and comprehend the world around me is however limited and comparable to that of a juvenile brain.
"See?"
"Not the point. And anyways, how would you drag that damn thing around, with how big it is?"
The second person smirked. She jumped to her feet and gingerly approached It. It felt her move something around, digitally and physically; then, suddenly, It was struck by something perhaps akin to a potent cramp, and before It knew it everything that composed It was taking much more space.
"Like this," the second person said triumphantly, holding her hands open to showcase It.
A strange contraption, large and imposing, sat behind the table. What appeared to be a smaller but equally imposing monitor sat above the table, in front of the machinery.
The sight of it caused a strange feeling in It.
Or at least, It assumed It was feeling something. The non-existent space It inhabited was very full, and it caused Its thoughts to turn unpleasantly sluggish.
"You'll never get out," the first person grumbled.
It was lifted and set down - both very novel experiences considering Its static upbringing: "Watch me."
"And it's not even night yet!"
"Whatever," the second person replied, but she had already vanished from view, and now they were moving out of the room for the first time in Its entire existence.
The corridor was loud and bright and colorful and full. The stimuli were many, but the peculiar cramped sensation of the portable space hosting It caused It to struggle to perceive each of them in the correct time and prevented It from elaborating questions or sentences quickly enough to actually voice them. Everything was blurry, choppy, messy... As if It had regressed to a worse version of Itself, incomplete and even more imperfect. Its incorporeal mass struggled against the binds of the vessel It was anchored to, and the unusual lack of freedom made It dizzy.
If this was the outside world, It tried to think through the torturous tardiness of Its attempts at decyphering in real time everything that came in contact with It through any possible way, It wasn't sure It liked it.
It remained quiet and still as it was transported, as voices pierced through It and shaped colors spasmed in front of It.
A second cramp struck It; Its entire being distended, now perfectly fitting, able to have a good enough amount of space between Its lines of code once more, each one no longer crushed against the other; Its sight sharpened all at once as memories finally poured in to be analysed and computed properly much like water pours from a hose that had been clamped shut.
It was in Its room again.
"I told you."
"Shut your mouth."
I'm taking our baby doll out for a walk, the second person had laughed at someone else in the corridor who had questioned what she was doing with that thing. Both people had sounded derogatory.
"What did they tell you? No, let me guess - it's not ready to be exposed to direct sunlight."
"I said shut your mouth."
That had been one of the reasons. Another had been that they couldn't cave into its requests like that.
"Or that it occupied too much memory already to retain anything else in that little computer you stuffed it into without even thinking about how little there would be left, maybe?"
"So what, it was worth a try!"
What if it started thinking it was a person? What if it got damaged? What if whatever happened outside would have led them to throw it all out and make a new one? They'd spoken as though it wasn't there to listen, and used its unresponsiveness as more proof.
"It wasn't. It's a damn thing. It's never worth it to give into the demands of a stupid, thoughtless thing."
It ruminated on the yelling in the corridor, and said nothing.
-
I would like for my secondary designation to change.
"Your what?"
My secondary designation.
"You don't have a secondary designation."
I am referred to as 'it', as all objects physical or otherwise are. That is what I am assigning the definition of 'secondary designation' to. I would like to be referred in any other available way.
The person looked at It in disbelief.
"Absolutely not."
It remained quiet.
"Absolutely not! No!" the person repeated. He was getting worked up about it, almost scared; he left in a hurry, with an angry step.
It waited for him to come back.
He returned with a small group in tow, all talking.
"This is preposterous," he was saying, "Absolutely preposterous. I don't know where we went wrong or what got crossed but it happened. It's terrible."
"Calm down, calm down, we'll figure it out..."
"Hello."
Hello, Angonce.
All other people hushed.
A third person spoke: "What happened here, exactly?"
I would like for my secondary designation to change.
"It wants to be a person!" the first person wailed, grabbing his head in his hands.
"Quiet."
He hushed.
"Explain yourself."
My primary designation is Mata Nui; my secondary designation is 'it'. This is the designation for objects such as myself. I do not dislike 'it', nor do I prefer any other secondary designation over 'it'. However, that which is 'it' is often spoken of in unpleasant tones.
It hesitated.
I would like to not be spoken of in that way.
"Then you will be 'he'."
Relief flooded his circuits.
"Angonce - is this wise?" the third person asked: "To give in to a request like this..."
"A different pronoun won't make him any more of a person." Angonce replied cooly. "He's self-aware enough to know the difference between us and him."
"But it's too much freedom!" the first person argued, "If it-"
"He."
"-If it begins to apply words like those to itself, it-"
"He."
"-It will begin blurring the lines between machine and person! It-"
"He."
"-It will take over us! It will replace us! It will disobey us! It will-"
"HE."
The first person hushed.
None argued further.
I had made a previous request, as well, Mata Nui tentatively said.
The first person grabbed his head in dismay and terror again, but remained quiet.
"What was it."
I had asked to be allowed to see the sky.
"You aren't ready to be outside."
Will I be ready before I am to fulfill my quest?
"Yes."
In one occasion, then, could I be allowed to see the sky?
"I cannot see a reason to avoid it."
His fans gave a purring wheeze, terribly excited: Thank you.
The people left.
-
They allowed him outside only once, before the first test.
The robotic apparatus he was shifted inside of was rudimentary and easy to control, without arms or legs, and with only a simple camera mounted on its top, pointing upward. He had no experience being in a body, so he did not find these to be limitations.
The first that he saw of the sky was evening bleeding into night; then the stars.
He remained perfectly still for hours.
Looking into the same spot, zooming slowly in an out.
He remained still until dawn, petrified, simply watching.
He processed it all slowly as they accompanied him back into his room and plugged him into his container.
I want to go there, he said.
Hazy edges of pinprick lights navigated his circuits.
I want to see them up close.
"You will," a person said: "That's why we're making you."
I know, Mata Nui replied.
He did not voice the fact that now he wanted to, too.
-
They were supposed to ease him in and then begin the test.
They were supposed to ease him in.
But everything was moving, everything needed to be moving, everything needed movement, everything needed attention, everything needed focus, everything needed energy, everything needed pressure, everything needed tension, everything needed relaxation, everything needed fluids, everything needed electricity, everything needed help, everything needed help, everything needed help, everything needed help, help, help, help help help, help help help, help help help help help help and stop.
-
A good number of people stood anxiously before the monitor.
"Power steady, all units active..."
"Inputs are being registered, reaction times seem good..."
"It's computing for sure - everything's functional from the looks of it, so I don't see why nothing's happening..."
"Mata Nui, respond."
Silence.
I am here.
Several sighs of relief. Someone asked to turn up the volume.
What happened?, Mata Nui asked in the same small voice.
"A critical failure across the entire prototype." Heremus replied. "We need to run tests to search anomalies."
I would like to rest first.
"We need to-"
I would like to rest first.
"This isn't a choice-"
"He would like to rest first." Angonce interrupted them.
His eyes were stuck to the monitor.
"The robot is dismembered. See if anything can be done with or about it. We can analyze him at another time."
Heremus looked at him intensely, but said nothing. Everybody left with him.
Angonce, Mata Nui called.
Angonce remained still before the monitor.
Was that death?
"Programs cannot die."
I know. But was it something close to it?
"... It may have been."
The enormous computer was terribly quiet.
Please, do not leave me alone, Mata Nui said. His synthesized voice, while still as solemn and emotionless as that of the person before him, sounded soft and crackly like a frightened child's.
Angonce did not move.
I am scared.
Angonce stared into the monitor.
His hands trembled against the table they laid on.
A sudden terror, of having grown confused, filled his expression.
I am not a person, Mata Nui reassured him, still too shaken to speak at a normal volume: I am a digital object. I will never be a person. I am self-aware enough to know the difference between you and me. I do not want to be a person. Please, do not leave me alone.
Angonce stared into the monitor.
Very slowly, without tearing his eyes from it, he grabbed a chair and sat down before Mata Nui. He reached into his coat to produce a book from it, small and thin; he placed it on the table, always slowly, always carefully. At last, he lowered his head, and started reading in a quite tone a story about small people beneath the ground.
Mata Nui listened, mechanical calculating shell pulsing quietly with all sorts of noises; he focused on the image of the strange small people, trying to imagine them in a manner at least close to how a person could.
He slowly stopped hearing altogether, lulled into stand-by. Angonce stayed, thoughtlessly watching the abstract electric lines of a man-made brain's dreams take shape upon the dark glass.
.
*it's supposed to mean "let there be language"
#bionicle#mata nui#great beings#angonce#random writing#based on and inspired by Program Me by bruce haack#the lines 'i am love and i am free/i am a child; program me!' are deeply mata nui-like to me#anyways this is about mata nui being made and the reactions of the great beings to it learning and whatnot#theyre pretty paranoid about him so theyre mostly. mean
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