#aaaaaand this one too
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autumn time to be gay and totally fine and not miserable at all
#i am coping you see#i love drawing autumn stuff.. and after producing hundrets pages of tma doodles in school it was time to. draw them properly#the ironic part is that it's raining ugly as im posting this. :[[#aaaaaand you know i planned to have much more characters like this at first... but i ended focusing too long on this one piece so i probabl#won't do other ones#(plus i have arcane to draw god. but i think i want the finale to come out first)#what can i even say. don't let me near blending layers it always ends up looking like this.#jon is my ugly clashing patterns grandma. you agree#(oh and martin is holding a notebook cause he goes to write poetry on autumn walks#if you're still here reading this have a nice day and a peaceful sleep kisses<33#mine#my art#the magnus archives#tma#jonathan sims#martin blackwood#melanie king#georgie barker#fanart#digital art
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🤔 Admittedly I was a little disappointed by the reveal (but certainly not surprised the foreshadowing was heavy in this episode lol), but not actually against how Beth (and Will) seem to be playing with it thus far- which is to say that I do think it has a lot of potential, and I suspect there's more to what we're seeing).
;) Big ol' ramble below
Mostly the theory has turned me off until now (at least insofar as I've witnessed it transpire in the fandom at large) because it struck me as so painfully ironic to see Trudy, a 1950s housewife, struggle to exist under the system that she's in, fail to fit the mold assigned to her, and be denied her personhood very literally for it (this being ironic insofar as how it mimics how she would have been treated back then). This and because frankly I just think she's a lot less interesting if she's fully a robot LOL, but I'll hopefully get to that in a bit.
Not that the hints at her mechanical nature and the relevance of Tucker's background were lost on me; I can appreciate why those would contribute to a plausible, fun and I think still mostly harmless theory (now fact). However, minus one or two specific posts I've seen on the matter (namely a recent one suggesting that if Trudy is a robot Beth is probably taking inspiration from The Stepford Wives, :( sorry person who made that post I couldn't find it I wanted to credit yoouuu), I've seen the theory just about exclusively presented in a manner that, rather than explore the metaphorical and political significance of Trudy being partially or fully mechanical, at best disregards the parts of her narrative that are at their core about sexism (among other related things), and at worst negates them entirely (i.e. Trudy only thinking and acting how she does because she's a robot malfunctioning and not because the world itself is causing harm and she rightfully wants something more than the role she was forced into, Trudy not even having any real thoughts and feelings of her own, etc.). I just think it kind of sucks to shove all those important things about her aside and say "actually, there's no person suffering here, she's just a robot" and perhaps worse yet to imply that she does have thoughts and feelings but because they result in Weird™ behavior it must be a problem with her code and not at all relate to what women were subjugated to during this point in American history.
CONVERSELY I don't think Trudy being a robot (or at least partially one) at least from what Beth and Will have presented us thus far, inherently suffers from any of these issues? First and foremost because Trudy definitely appears to possess sentience, thoughts, and emotions of her own, matters which immediately complicate her degree of personhood and don't inherently box her behavior in as a bug in her programming rather than an issue with the world she's been put in, quite the opposite in fact! I think they have a very solid groundwork laid out here to make a strong statement with Trudy's narrative (and perhaps ask the question of what is really malfunctioning here), all the more so since [I pull out a Rebecca Swallows-style conspiracy board] I don't think she's entirely robotic in nature? Actually you should just read Mack's tags in this post cause he has great thoughts on the matter (of which those are just some of them), but if I can direct your attention to one thing in particular, it would be Beth's fact (I *believe* from episode 2) about Trudy never graduating high school because of her essay where she suggested that "perhaps women could one day domesticate themselves", a statement that could of course be interpreted a number of ways but ultimately threatened the patriarchal status quo enough (in suggesting women's independence) to cost Trudy her diploma. Taken on its own this fact appears to contradict the theory that Trudy has always been robotic in nature, because it doesn't really make sense that Trudy would have been set up to go through high school (or school at all really) when Tucker's intention was/is for her to be the perfect housewife. You may then suggest that Trudy's memories of this are fabricated and not actually her lived experiences, in which case firstly perhaps you should reread my earlier point on the robot theory being used to actively negate and otherwise disregard the portions of Trudy's narrative that pertain to sexism and feminism, and secondly it really doesn't make any sense to me that Tucker would implant those kind of memories into Trudy's brain? To be completely honest if she's been a robot from the very beginning (rather than someone who became a cyborg, which is what I'm trying to suggest here), then I don't see why Tucker would program her with actual sentience in the first place (suspending my disbelief here with regards to the possibility of programming sentience to begin with). It seems much more likely to me then that Trudy was not always a robot, and instead altered by Tucker to force her into a role of subordination and remedy her """imperfections""". This option is significantly more interesting to me one, because it implies that Trudy has actually lived a life up until the present, full of its own complexities and strife (and dreams, and real actual memories worth exploring, etc.), and hence is not by any means "just a robot", and second because it amplifies the hypothetical statement being made on the lives of the real living women of the era and how they were treated and seen as being "in need of fixing" for not conforming to gender roles or otherwise acting "out of line" with what was expected of them.
OKAY THIS GOT OUT OF HAND SO I'M CUTTING MYSELF OFF HERE but I wanted to my share my current thoughts what with this ending and where I'm at so hopefully that was at least interesting to whoever has chosen to read through this one okay thank you byyyyyyyyye~
#BREATHES OUT sorry that was so much longer than expected#but isn't it always?#dndads#trudy trout#dndads spoilers#the peachyville horror#dndads s3 ep 4#dungeons and daddies#*mostly* I'd been keeping my full feelings on the topic to myself#but now that the cat's out of the bag aaah I felt like I had to ramble a little ehehe#ik I haven't been around much lately! This is for a variety of reasons#but rest assured I still give far too many shits about this podcast LOL#aaaaaand uuuh post#(also THANK YOU again Mack for giving me the little push of reassurance I needed to post this one haha)#undescribed#gotta add that later sorry :(
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Glamtober - Day 10: Pirate or Cowboy
/showleft PirateAU Naho! Or maybe more of a "what if she never left her parent's ship and stayed to become a pirate?". I think she's happier where she currently is (travelling Eorzea), but her dad and the ship's crew sure miss their little songbird.
Gryphonskin Bandana
Holy Rainbow Shirt of Scouting (Lilac Purple)
Miqo'te Gloves (Ash Grey)
Lucian Prince's Bottoms (Ash Grey)
Expeditioner's Thighboots (Lilac Purple)
Steel Daggers
Dodo Earring
#ffxivglamtober2024#ffxiv#ffxiv screenshots#neri's screens#had soooo much trouble with this set tbh#i originally wanted the shirt to be blue since i like dressing her in blue stuff#but i could not find what dye to use for the boots#black was too dark and most browns were too warm#but turns out lilac makes them very nice and works for the top too#AND the hat naturally matches so that was a nice bonus#blue kitty#aaaaaand the one that's been sitting in my drafts as mentioned in the day 14 tags#had tags and all so i'm not sure why i never posted it. hmm.
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HE HAD NO FRIENDS BUT HE HAD HIS BOOKS AND HIS DREAMS...... LONELINESS BOTH ENCOMPASSED HIS LIFE AND OVERREACHED IT......... RAAAAAHGGGGHHHHHHHH
#this guy is JUST like me!!!!!!!!!!! down to the double-jointed thumbs & the tooth thing like it's SPECIFIC#we are one & the same. aaaaaand my heart aches for this kid i love him Too Much#ben hanscom#<- best guy ever amirite#it 1986#it 2017#my stuff
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Happy things days 14-16 (whoops)
• went to a worship/production team party for the holidays. Very fun, love those people with my whole heart.
• made pumpkin bars for the party. My beloveds
• took my grandma shopping today for stocking stuffers. It’s been our tradition for at least 3 years, maybe more. I’m a little worried because she says her back is sore now, but she did very well the rest of the time, and as for the quality of the gifts we got we think it might be our best year yet!
• found some Christmas cards I will use to send to work people
• DELIGHTFUL Rick Roll tonight. Top-notch.
• my sister does NOT have Covid! We thought she had it because she had felt dizzy that morning (which itself isn’t that weird, she has POTS) but then she realized her apple sparkling water tasted weird. Wanna know why it tasted weird? Because it’s lime. The cans are nearly identical.
#Happy posting#lots of bad things happened in these days too :/#I am kinda scared about my grandma. In the space of like 3 days she has been sick#has had a fall#and has had back pain#And also randomly slept a lot the past few days#I’m getting scared tbh.#Aaaaaand one of my ears is plugged for no discernible reason and also I may be getting sick#No idea if those two things are related#At LEAST tomorrow is Friday ❤️
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On Monday you can expect:
2:30 PM: Handplates
And Tuesday:
2:30 PM: Handplates - Skelebros
Wednesday:
2:30 PM: Handplates
Thursday:
2:30 PM: Handplates
Friday:
2:30 PM: Handplates - Eye glows
Saturday:
2:30 PM: Handplates
Sunday:
2:30 PM: Undertale - Flowey
Thanks for tuning in! (Patreon)
#Weekly TV Guide#Aaaaaand right back to Handplates lol#And technically Tuesday's is a mix of redraws so they could be classic UT with some definitely-Handplates lads in there as well <3#I always think it's so funny when I've got the same overall theme but only some of them get specific captions lol#(It's because comics/more characters make it harder to simplify down lol)#Also this is the last queued week oh no oh no lol#I've been very behind on my editing I got too distracted ahh#One of my alongside projects is definitely shaping up tho >:3c#The other uhhh.....#As usual falling back on deadline impetus |P My least favourite but it is a tried and true unfortunately#And I mean the worst that happens is I take a bit of a break ♪ Considering how consistently this has been running for uhh?#Anyhow! I must away to work on this week lol
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‘ alternate or au + fandom specific verses :
' ⁰ ⁵ alt / 25 onwards : primary fc applicable ( morena baccarin ) - open to shipping, plotting required modern / politics. senator, first lady, the president. her career progression is truly inspiring, but like all politicians, she has her secrets, and her scandals. regina adopts henry.
' ⁰ ⁶ alt / 16 onwards : primary and secondary fc applicable ( morena baccarin & bruna marquezine ) - open to shipping, plotting not required modern / athlete + yellowstone. a champion equestrian, olympic level ( two gold, two silver, one bronze ) forced to retire after a career ending injury, she buys a ranch in montana to teach riding and live her life. regina adopts henry.
' ⁰ ⁷ alt / 16 onwards : primary and secondary fc applicable ( morena baccarin & bruna marquezine ) - open to shipping, plotting not required modern / famous. from model to actor. the queen of the silver screen. academy winner and considered an a-list star. famously accused of orchestrating her husband's death, faced brutal media scrutiny but eventually swayed the public to her side. regina adopts henry.
' ⁰ ⁸ alt / 34 onwards : primary fc applicable ( morena baccarin ) - open to shipping, plotting not required apocalypse. could cross well with tlou, fallout and twd. no real plotline for this. unless plotted otherwise, henry is dead. regina's just trying to survive, but without her son, she doesn't really see the point. in fallout, she was married to an overseer but she killed him and took his position. exiling her step-daughter to the surface. the only reason regina ended up on the surface too is to find henry.
' ⁰ ⁹ fandom / 16 onwards : primary and secondary fc applicable ( morena baccarin & bruna marquezine ) - open to shipping, plotting required hunger games. former career from district two, victor of her games ( the 54th ) by killing the last opposing tribute in self-defence, breaking through his ribcage and pulling out his still beating heart. a favourite of the capitol, referred to simply as 'the queen' regina adopts henry.
' ¹ ⁰ fandom / 16 onwards : primary and secondary fc applicable ( morena baccarin & bruna marquezine ) - open to shipping, plotting required stranger things. associated with @shadowedvales. moved to hawkins when she was a child, regina ran away to the big city when she was sixteen, only to end up back in town two years later, married to leopold. no one questioned it. when leo dies, rumours spread without proof, and the residents of hawkins avoid her as a general rule. this doesn't stop her from winning the mayoral election. here, regina possesses magic that grant her access to the void. this is where she unknowingly meets eleven, before she's jane. regina adopts henry.
' ¹ ¹ fandom / 16 onwards : primary and secondary fc applicable ( morena baccarin & bruna marquezine ) - open to shipping, plotting not required yellowjackets. previously the team's second striker, regina had to be replaced with allie after she left the team without explanation. when allie was injured just before nationals, regina agreed to fill for the last game, and was on the plane when it crashed. she survived, but barely. in present day, she's wiskayok's mayor and publicly endorses taissa's run for state senate. regina adopts henry.
#* ⁰ ¹ / ' reign.#* ⁰ ¹ / ' important.#aaaaaand these ones too#i’m still working on the other verse drop post#and now i’m at work so#eh
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( sc. ) " so at what point do we cut our losses and walk away ? " she's long since given up trying to reform danny, has accepted that this is the life he chose and if she loves @cultfic, which she reluctantly does, than she'd be better off either turning a blind eye, or getting involved. what's that phrase again ? if you can't beat 'em, join 'em ? if she were a better woman, she would've walked away and never looked back. but tess had never claimed to be better. she's just not a thief, either. looking up from the schematics he'd laid out in front of him, she raised a brow, cradling her tea in one hand as she ran the fingertips of her other over the prints. " this is impossible, danny. and i'm not saying that to challenge you, so don't start. this is ridiculous. "
#& in ‚ writing.#& as ‚ tess ocean.#& ft ‚ cultfic.#aaaaaand this one too#hope this is ok also#jsyk i don't remember shit about the movies lmfao#i'm writing tess based purely on vibes
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I have the power of God
#i'll put this here#yeah why not#you guys know what I'm gonna make LAMDKS#f/o stuff here i go!!#absolutely gonna sell stuff too#etsy was kind of a bust but imm gona look into wix or smthing#aaaaaand thst one con i go to 👀#gonna get more pun sizes but later later-
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i drew my best friend Mari !!
#artists on tumblr#anime#anime art#art#tumblr drawings#anyways#this one guy broke up with me and i’m super glad bc he’s been like so annoying for the past few weeks#and i’m like relieved he broke up w me bc i wouldn’t do that bc i’m a pussy#aaaaaand there’s this giiiiiiirl#i love her so much#i’ll try to confess to her this week and i hope she says she likes me too !!!!!
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Dressed Up Dresser
helllooooo i cannot believe i am here with build buy cc that ISN'T wallpaper or wall art???? who am i???? anyway! this is simple, but I did a recolour of the parenthood dresser featuring fun colours and some hand drawn swatches. I'm always after more dressers for kids rooms, and hopefully this can add some variety to your game!
@maxismatchccworld @emilyccfinds @mmfinds @mmoutfitters
details and download under the cut!
Details
Recolour of Parenthood dresser - the parenthood pack is required (sorry!)
15 total swatches; 4 featuring hand drawn elements (seaweed, whale, mushrooms, mountains), 11 with multiple solid colours
Correct colour tags, custom thumbnail
Aaaaaand I think that's it! I really enjoyed making this one, and I hope you'll like it too!
Download: Curseforge / Patreon (both 100% free to everyone, always.)
#TS4 cc#sims 4 cc#ts4 cc#sims 4 maxis match#maxis match cc#my cc#sims 4 custom content#sims 4 cute cc#ts4 cute cc#sims 4 decor#sims decor#sims 4 furniture#ts4 furniture#sims 4 build buy#simblr#sims 4 cottagecore#cottagecore cc#sims 4 dresser
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Yandere!Stanley Pines x GN!Reader
warnings: yandere behavior, stalking, drugging
Yandere headcanons for our Grunkle Stan! Old men amirite haha 😔 [not edited] Aaaaaand here's a Stanford Pines version
Stan is just so, so lonely. If he already felt alone when his father kicked him out, imagine how he felt when his brother gets pulled to a different dimension.
So when you showed up, so full of entertainment and fight, that's when he realizes he needs you.
This guy is protective. Possessive. He has so little important people in his life. You can't abandon him too.
You have what he's searching for in crowds. What the entirety of the folks in Gravity Falls can't give him.
You make him feel like he's worth it.
Have you seen that one episode where Stanley drugs the viewer? He is not above drugging someone into unconciousness.
But he won't directly tell you he did that, of course not. You probably just fell asleep or something. You're tired from all the work.
He'll do whatever it takes to keep you in the Mystery Shack. The good news is that he's not that insane to lock you up. He just loooves quality time.
Although he'll hire people (for cheap) to keep an eye on you. For your safety! Even sometimes tell Dipper and Mabel to do that, and they think he's simply being cute.
A professional scam artist who's so skilled in deceiving people. You're not an exception. In fact, he uses it to his advantage. He has broken the law many times and will especially continue to do it for you.
But, you're not stupid. You question him sometimes to which he brushes you off.
Other than that, though, he's definitely touch-starved. He hides the fact so well that you don't even notice it... probably. His desparation might actually slip off his mask.
Speaking of... he turns all soft and mushy when you put your hands on him.
Please take care of him. He'll take care of you.
Don't leave.
He needs you.
#yanyan hcs#gravity falls headcanons#yandere#yandere stanley pines#yandere stanley pines x reader#gravity falls x reader#yandere gravity falls#yandere gravity falls x reader#stanley pines x reader#yans first post
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Imagine a Hugh Jackman x reader where one of their kids gets a nightmare and wants the wolverine to scare the monsters away? Reader walking into the scene of Hugh in a children’s wolverine costume trying to cheer them up?? Have a great day and take care of yourself :D
the monsters gone and your daddys’s here | hugh jackman
an: thanks anon for the request! this was such a cute idea 🥹
marvel actress!reader masterlist
Alex was a heavy sleeper so when his younger brother, Reese, whispered his name, the boy continued snoring. Reese had trouble sleeping, but he never told his parents. Why? He thought the scary monster under his bed would get them if Reese told them.
Even with his stuffed animals and blanket, Reese still couldn’t sleep. He then remembered that his dad had bought them walkie talkies for christmas. Hugh kept one on his nightstand. The boys usually called in if they wanted a bedtime story or just to say I love you. Right now more than ever, Reese needed his dad to scare away the monsters.
He grabbed the device from his nightstand and turned it on. He pressed the button and called for Hugh.
“Dad? Can you hear me?” Reese released the button hoping Hugh would immediately reply.
On the other end, Hugh heard it. It took a few tries from Reese to finally get him to wake up, but eventually he did. You were sleeping with Olivia beside you, he didn’t want either of you to wake up so he quickly answered it.
“Hey, what’s wrong buddy?” He asked.
“I can’t sleep.” He responded nervously.
“Why?”
It took a few seconds, but Reese finally decided to tell Hugh what was wrong. “There’s scary monsters and I’m scared. What if they get you and mom! And what if they get Alex and Olivia!?”
Hugh’s heart shattered after hearing his boy. He wondered for how long the scary monsters had been bothering Reese. “They’re not going to get any of you, I will always protect you.”
“Can you scare them away? With your claws?”
Ever since the boys watched X-Men, they were convinced Hugh had metal claws that came out his knuckles. He didn’t have the heart to tell them it was fake so he bought a cheap wolverine costume from the store and used the claws when they were around.
“I’ll be there in a second.” He assured the boy. Reese mumbled an ‘okay’ into the walkie talkie then ended the conversation. Hugh got up from the bed, making sure not to disturb you or Olivia. He got the plastic claws and wolverine mask from the drawer and put them on. He then walked to the boys’ room and opened the door.
“Where are those ugly little monsters, bub?” Hugh asked, getting into character.
Reese, without saying a word, pointed to under his bed. He watched as Hugh adjusted the mask and got down to his knees. “I’ll get rid of those monsters. They won’t stand a chance.” He went down and started ‘fighting’ the monsters. In reality, only toys and dirty clothes were under the boy’s bed. Hugh made fighting sounds so to Reese it genuinely seemed like he was getting rid of monsters.
“Oh this guy is done for! Get out of here!” Hugh continued.
“Did you get all of them, dad?” Reese, too scared to look, asked.
“All of what?” Both Reese and Hugh heard your voice. You stood at the door rubbing your tired eyes. What was going on? You wished you knew.
“Dad is getting rid of all the monsters!” Reese told you.
“Aaaaaand that’s all of them,” Hugh got up from the floor and took off his mask. He started breathing heavily and wiped away his ‘sweat’. “You got nothing to worry about, Reese. Dad took care of all the scary monsters.” He gave Reese a kiss on the forehead.
“Thanks dad.” Reese whispered. He looked over at Alex, who was still sleeping. How could Alex be asleep while the wolverine just scared away all the monsters? At least Reese had a good story to tell at breakfast.
“You alright, baby?” You asked Reese.
The boy nodded. “Dad scared them away. I can sleep now.”
“I’ll see you in the morning.” Hugh whispered to Reese then walked over to you. He mumbled a good night to Reese and closed the door.
“I am dreading the day we have to tell them Wolverine is just a comic book character.” You sighed.
“Let’s just enjoy this moment. Yesterday, Alex told me I was his favorite hero.” Hugh walked back with you to the bedroom.
“Wolverine or not, you’ll always be their hero. They know you’ll always be there to protect them.”
Hugh didn’t care if he had to fight imaginary monsters, he would always protect his kids. He just hoped they wouldn’t get too upset when they find out he doesn’t have metal claws.
@kellyxo1 @ru-kru @barnes70stark @flyestvenustrap @evasmlp
#hugh jackman blurb#hugh jackman x reader#hugh jackman one shot#hugh jackman imagine#hugh jackman fanfic#hugh jackman fanfiction#hugh jackman#marvel actress!reader#actress!reader
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Imagine trying to figure out if Arts features are his own, or prosthetics and face paint?!
Staring at him too long and eventually breaking- poking and rubbing a finger at his face☝️☺️
Your wish is granted.
Gender neutral reader x Art the clown, tryna touch this man's face, not yet proofread.
-----------------------
Both of you are coated in blood--mostly him. The blood covering you was a result of getting caught in the crossfire between Art and his victim. You just happened to open the door to see it at the wrong time as he was brutalizing someone in their own home. You came along out of curiosity. Handed him stuff from his trash bag from time to time. This is all still sorta new to you, but you can feel yourself being indoctrinated into this … Madness. It’s shown.
You don’t flinch like you used to when observing his kills. Now you observe and marvel at how much the human body can withstand before the fragile chord connecting the soul to the physical shell is severed. It’s like looking at your biology textbooks in school all over again in the most fucked up way. You’re relearning human anatomy now in a whole other way that’s allowed you to commit to memory when you’ve seen him rip someone’s skin right off their body.
Yep, that’s the trapezius muscle you see exposed. And that’s someone’s flexor tendon he just cut through. That’s a metatarsal he’s got between his teeth. That’s a bile duct he’s drinking from. That’s an eyeball with an optic nerve he’s putting in his trash bag. Aaaaaand that’s a molar he’s gifting you and putting in your palm.
So yeah. You’ve seen it all. He’s tried to get you involved a few times already, but you’re not ready for that yet, much to his annoyance. You’ve assured him you’re working on getting there.
Now you sit in the silence of the aftermath, a trachea sitting right across from you, as he’s relaxing after having completed his newest magnum opus thanks to an unwilling participant. He’s sitting next to you. Both of you aren’t smiling, but he was earlier. Now he’s just neutral, staring off into the distance at nothing in particular, almost like he’s zoning out in thought. You wonder what’s going on in that head of his.
As you stare at his face, attempting to pick up any approximation of where his mind might be, you take in his features. His dark eyes. Pointed chin. Sculpted face that looks a little skeletal near the temples and then gaunt around the cheeks.
Then there’s that nose of his. That beautiful, beautiful nose.
There's no way that it's real. No one's got a real nose like that, you tell yourself. It’s a nice nose, regardless of its legitimacy. You’ve had it between your thighs plenty of times before and it’s bumped against the most intimate parts of you, but the nerves you feel between your thighs and the nerves on your fingers work a little differently. They help you receive and register way differently. Maybe he just super glued it on? What if he WAS born with it? What does he look like without the makeup? Did people make fun of him when he was a kid? Did he ever get to be a kid? Did they make fun of his nose?
You extend your hand out slowly, reaching out to try and touch his nose with the tip of your finger. You’re inches away now–
Your hand is smacked.
“Ow!”
Art startles you when he intercepts you. He’s still staring forward. He can see you in the corner of his vision. The man hasn’t blinked for ten whole minutes. Still hasn’t.
Curiosity killed the cat, and it might kill you if you’re not careful. You pull your hand back for now. You’ll just have to try again later. When he’s not deep in thought. If that’s what he was even doing, anyway.
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Criminal Love
↳ Pairing: Hyunjin x Reader
❧ Genre : romance , smut, forced proximity, morally grey reader
❧ Words: +25k
❧ Warnings: violence, mention of knives, guns, smut
❧ Summary: Hyunjin was a good agent. At least, he thought he was. The moment he is ordered to work with a very unpredictable, dangerous you (who also happens to be his little crush), things change. At every step you test his patience, push his limits only to see how far he’s ready to go.
❧ A/N : Aaaaaand it's finally out! It took me longer than I expected to finish this piece. Hope you enjoy it as much as I did while writing it! Like and reblogs are appreciated, comments too ♥
❧ Taglist: @lostgirlinthewoodss , @rylea08 , @minimin1993 , @avokralaim , @cheekycountesschoi , @rockyhedgehog , @skzfelixlove , @hyundai432 , @hyunlvrs , @naoristerling
“Did you hear? She got suspended. Again.”
Hyunjin was not eavesdropping. Not really. Not completely. It wasn’t even his fault in the first place if people weren’t being discrete and he just happened to be having his coffee right here. It wasn’t also his fault that the simple mention of suspension and again meant only one thing: you.
And that did get his attention. Without even realizing it, Hyunjin leant a little closer while sipping his coffee, wanting to hear more about their complaints.
“Again?” The second woman sighed and shook her head in disapproval. “It’s the second time this month alone! I really don’t understand how they allow her to work here.”
To that Hyunjin actually had an answer. Or at least half of it. The bosses could disagree with your behavior, your rudeness, your methods all they wanted – you were the only one who didn’t hesitate to dirty your hands, to infiltrate the darkest places and succeed. The results were staggering. No other agents managed to accomplish as much as you did in only two years. They hated you and admired you at the same time. And those women were no different. They could complain about you all they wanted, but they were simply jealous.
Yes, you were an incredible agent. Yes, your methods were questionable and a little bit bloody for Hyunjin’s liking (he shivered at the memory of you throwing a knife at another agent, grazing his ear, because he had offended you). But you were also a dangerous, cold beauty that they envied.
Jisung plopped beside Hyunjin with his own coffee in one hand. He observed his friend for a moment before smirking. “Why the long face? It’s only nine in the morning.”
Hyunjin ignored his comment, his attention was still on the women, straining to hear more about you. Unfortunately for him, they were done complaining. Or maybe they stopped because of the two men’s presence.
He sighed. “They’re talking about Y/N.”
Jisung snickers. “Of course they are.” He took a sip of his coffee, smiling knowingly into the cup. “And you’ve been eavesdropping because?”
Hyunjin shrugged, pretending that it was nothing. As if Jisung wasn’t already aware of why he was so interested. He took a sip of his own coffee, only to wince and realize that while he had been so concentrated on the conversation, his coffee got cold. What a lovely day, it couldn’t get worse.
“Because I thrive on gossips.” Hyunjin tried to make it sound like it was not a big deal. He wasn’t lying, not completely at least. He did enjoy office gossips; sometimes because the gossips were so ridiculous, he couldn’t understand how people could believe their words. Sometimes, because he would catch info he could use later.
“Yeah. It has nothing to do with our sweet and lovely Y/N.” Jisung mocked.
Hyunjin sighed in defeat. There was no use pretending with Jisung, despite his looks and his nonchalant attitude, he was incredibly observant and Hyunjin’s little (fat) crush on you didn’t go unnoticed. “Fine. I couldn’t help myself.”
Jisung’s grin stretched and he leaned closer, ready to either tease him till he would cry or be a good friend and end his misery. “See, not so hard! And since I’m an amazing friend, I will even help you. I know why they’re talking about Y/N.”
Hyunjin cocked a brow, taken off guard. But it made sense. The two of you were friends, Hyunjin just never guessed you would talk about your cases with him.
“Our little Y/N was hunting a criminal for the past week. Can’t remember his name even if I helped her to track him. He took a hostage, threatened the man’s life. What a bad idea, but he couldn’t know that, could he? She shot the victim in the leg to shock the dude. Worked marvelously. She got him.”
Was it anyone else, Hyunjin would have been surprised. But he wasn’t. The only thing that still surprised him was your creative ways at getting things done. Apparently, nothing could stop you. Not even someone’s else life was on the line.
“How did she even explain herself?” Hyunjin wondered out loud.
“That’s a good question.” Jisung admitted and shrugged, “She has her ways, I guess. She doesn’t tell me everything.”
“Sure about that?”
Jisung gave him a lazy smile. “By the way, boss wants to see you. Right now.”
Hyunjin groaned and quickly got back on his feet. “And you couldn’t tell me sooner?”
“Nope.” Jisung laughed, “Was enjoying the moment, you know.”
***
Hyunjin was not excited to see the boss. Not because he didn’t do his work and risked to get scolded, but more like every time he went to his office he could be sure to leave with some bad news. And that, he wished to avoid. He was tired and frustrated with his case. He had been working on the same case for the past few weeks and unfortunately, even with Jisung’s help, he couldn’t track the hacker that had been attacking big companies. The man or the woman was a ghost, leaving little clues to his or hers identity and it was slowly driving him crazy.
Before he could even knock at the door, he heard voices. Especially one voice. Yours. And by the sound of it, he could easily guess that you were not pleased. Not to say pissed. He hesitated, hand frozen mid-air. Should he knock? Should he wait? But then, Namjoon wanted to see him and if you were already inside, he wondered if whatever the news was, you were supposed to hear it too. Curious, really. And unheard of.
Hyunjin took a deep breath and then pushed the door, deciding that with all the yelling, his knock would go unnoticed. Barely one foot in the office and Hyunjin halted, flinching as a vase flew straight to the wall beside him, shattering in pieces.
Well, you were in a mood.
Hyunjin was highly aware of your temper, heard stories about it, witnessed a few times too. It amazed him how you didn’t try to hide it. Some agents were just like you, anger eating them from inside, but they would do their best to hide their feelings just to avoid the troubles.
You didn’t and he had to admit that he found it a little hot. Maybe there was something wrong with him too.
He had been working for Namjoon for a little over five years and it was definitely a first for him to see someone show so much anger before him. Or was it directed at him? Which would be even odder.
He cleared his throat and before he could utter a single word, your eyes found his. He froze, forgetting how to breathe for a second. There was so much fire, so much rage in your eyes, it was unsettling. Hyunjin wasn’t a coward, in fact, because of his pretty face people often underestimated him, when really, he was a great manipulator when needed and could fight for his life if required. But facing your fiery character and the anger in your eyes made his skin crawl and wish for the floor to swallow him whole.
What a lovely creature.
One last angry glare from you and then you huffed, crossed your arms over your chest and took a seat, ignoring his existence.
Namjoon shook his head and sighed. Apparently, Hyunjin wasn’t the only tired one, the man looked like a ghost himself with dark circles under his eyes. “Come in, Hyunjin. Take a seat.” And then he looked at you again, pinning you with his stare, a silent communication going on.
Whatever Namjoon had to say, you were part of it, now he was sure about it. He didn’t know how he felt about it.
Hyunjin sat in the empty chair beside you, having a hard time not to look at you. He didn’t have many opportunities to be in your presence or even talk to you. No, you weren’t a kind of person who appreciated getting involved with others. Quite the opposite. Less you saw them and happier you were. And yet, despite this coldness, you were Jisung’s friend and Hyunjin couldn’t stop but wonder how Jisung managed to convince you that he was worth a shot. He was the opposite of you; lively, always friendly, spending half of his time cracking jokes. And yet, it worked. Unfortunately, Hyunjin never managed to get close to you which left him with no choice but admire you from afar.
“I’ll make it short.” Namjoon started, his eyes darting back and forth between the two of you, looking stern and at the same time, preparing for another storm to blow up his office. Namjoon was indeed very tired and wasn’t paid enough to deal with this shit. “I need both of you to work together on a case. And before you protest,” He pointed at you, his scowl deepening as he noticed you clenching your fists, ready to jump and protest, “It’s not negotiable.”
“You got to be kidding me!” You groaned, throwing your hands in the air. “You know I can’t work with him.” You pointed an accusing finger at Hyunjin as if he had personally offended you. Which he didn’t. Or at least, Hyunjin wasn’t aware.
“I’m not leaving you a choice, Y/N. Not this time.” Namjoon didn’t budge, his mind set. “Moreover, there’s no way you can succeed without his help.”
Hyunjin observed you in silence, his mind still trying to come to terms with the idea of working with you. He didn’t dislike the idea as much as you did, for obvious reasons. It was his chance to find out more about you, to solve a mystery he was so curious about. But it was obvious you didn’t share the sentiment; you were gritting your teeth, ready to snap.
“Is it a challenge?” You tried, hoping to avoid to work with Hyunjin.
Namjoon leaned on his elbows and looked straight into your eyes. “You can scream and kick all you want; I’m not changing my mind.” Then, he averted his gaze on Hyunjin. “I promise, she’ll come around.”
Hyunjin wasn’t so sure and you proved him right by mumbling a ‘like hell I will’. This was going to be an interesting experience.
“What’s the case?” Hyunjin asked, ignoring the thick tension in the room. He fought the urge to glance at you and instead gave his full attention to Namjoon.
“The two of you are going to fly to Hong Kong. I got you an invitation to a gallery opening party. You must attend it as a newly married.” Hyunjin blinked in confusion. When he was called into Namjoon’s office, he did not expect this turn of events.
“What do you know about Park Minjun?” Namjoon asked and eyed the two of you, his eyes lingering a little longer on you.
Hyunjin had a feeling he had heard the name before but couldn’t pinpoint from where. You, on the other hand, knew. You straightened up on your chair, all business. “He’s the CEO of PM Security. Worth billions if I remember correctly.”
Namjoon nodded. “We got a tip. Apparently he’s been selling weapons to dangerous people. Another deal is about to happen. I need you to find out what’s the deal about and find the names.” Namjoon finished, then with one final look at the two of you. “Any questions?”
“Yeah, “ You started and, without even looking at you, Hyunjin felt your murderous aura. “Can I punch you for this brilliant idea?”
Yeah. It’s gonna work out just fine.
***
You were still fuming at the idea of working with Hyunjin as the two of you stepped out of Namjoon’s office. Just because you couldn’t actually punch Namjoon as you desperately wished, you slammed the door behind you to make your point.
“Asshole.” You cursed under your breath, forgetting for a second that you were not alone in the hall and Hyunjin was still observing you. But for safety reason, he put some space between the two of you. He could tell you were craving violence and someone to blame for the outcome. He wasn’t particularly in the mood to get into a fight with his supposed partner for the next case.
Hyunjin watched you with crossed arms over his chest as you took a deep breath, clenching and unclenching your fists in hope to cool down. Impressive temper indeed. He wasn’t a violent person and wasn’t really attracted to violence but as he stared at you, from head to toe, he couldn’t deny that it suited you. You’re in deep shit, Hyunjin.
He thought about the mission, thought about pretending to be a couple and playing his part. Could he really play pretend? He did it a few times, of course. But with you? He wasn’t sure he would come out unscathed.
“We can make it work.” Hyunjin tried to convince you. Or maybe he was trying to convince himself with those words.
It didn’t convince you. You snapped your head towards him and assessed him. You knew who he was, not only because you had memorized every faces and names of people working here, but also because Jisung couldn’t shut up about him and about how amazing he was. He was a handsome man, that you could admit, as for being amazing, you weren’t convinced. The men working for Namjoon tended to be all the same; some with pretty faces and arrogant attitude. Not your cup of tea. And yet, even if it pained you to admit, Hyunjin looked different from them. Just by the way he was watching you, you could tell he wasn’t underestimating you just because you were a woman. No, he was also assessing you and wondering how it could work.
“It can’t be that bad.” He tried again, sounding a little bit more enthusiastic.
You finally moved from your spot and slowly approached him, watching him like a predator that you were. Hyunjin tensed. You grabbed him by his tie and pulled him closer to you. “You better watch out, Hwang or I might kill you in your sleep and make it look like an accident.”
Such a lovely creature, working with you surely would be fun.
***
Jisung was laughing so hard at the news, he fell from his chair. It didn’t stop him from laughing, quite the opposite. He held his stomach, unable to calm down. He had expected Namjoon to give Hyunjin shit for not having any break in his case. But it was so much better. Oh how he wished he could have witnessed the whole mess. Knowing you, Jisung had no problem imagining how delighted you were with the mission.
“Are you done?” Hyunjin groaned, palming his face.
It had been two hours since he found out about the mission. Two hours since your threat. Two hours since he couldn’t shake off the image of you pulling at his tie, threatening him so close to his lips. Yes, he wanted to find out more about you. Yes, he wanted to get close to you. But maybe he got more than he bargained for.
“Oh hell man, I’m having a blast.” Jisung cackled and wiped the tears from the corner of his eyes. “You and Y/N? Working together? Pretending to be married?” Just from saying it again, he laughed and Hyunjin couldn’t stop himself; he kicked his shin. “Ouch!”
“You deserved it.” Hyunjin responded unapologetic.
“Can you blame me? You two are so different. I don’t know how Namjoon came up with this idea.” He shook his head, chuckling to himself. “I know you’re going to try and make it work but Y/N…”
Hyunjin could only hope that your wish to succeed would be stronger than your aversion to working with him.
“She’s going to eat you alive.”
***
Hyunjin didn’t get even have a wink of sleep last night. Not this close to the departure for the mission. One week was what Namjoon gave the two of you to get your shit together and prepare.
Easy to say.
Hyunjin tried to reach out to you in hope to talk and prepare your story in case you had to share it with people, especially about your marriage. You ignored all his attempts. He had tried. He tried to talk to you, to get to you through Jisung, tried to corner you. And failed. You were slowly driving him nuts and even his optimism was slowly fading.
He was waiting for you at the airport, nervous. After ignoring him for a week, you finally texted him last night, giving the time and spot to meet at the airport. A message that frustrated him to no end.
He checked his watch and frowned. You were running late. Maybe the traffic or maybe you were toying with him. Probably the latter. But then, as he raised his head, he saw you. He spotted you among the parting crowd, walking confidently and looking too good to be real. You wore white jeans, a black tank top with a leather jacket. Your hairs were tied up in a messy bun with few strands framing your flawless face.
Hyunjin forgot how to breath as you drew nearer.
“Hello, Hwang.” You smiled wickedly, your smile promising torture.
“You’re late.” Hyunjin wanted to slap himself. He wasn’t planning to pick a fight with you, but somehow his brain refused to cooperate.
You arched a brow, amused. “Am I?” And took another step towards him. “Or were you just too eager to see me?”
Yes, you were definitely toying with him. He refused to play your game and instead he kept his face as neutral as possible. “You know I’m not happy about this mission either.” What a big liar he was.
“Sure about that?” You asked, unfazed with his attempt. “Because a little birdie told me you were delighted to find out we were paired for the mission.”
Hyunjin gawked at you, not believing his ears. “What? Who?”
Hyunjin knew way before you answered, who was behind those words but he needed to hear it.
“Your favorite hacker.”
Little shit. Han Jisung was a dead man. If he survives first.
You laughed at his pained face. Not a mocking laugh but a genuine one that made him blink and stare blankly at you. Hyunjin realized that he had never heard you laugh before and it was a nice melody to his ears. Playful, cheerful, warm.
“Come on, hubby.” You looped your arm through his, “Let’s do this.”
***
Surprisingly enough, the flight to Hong Kong was eventless.
Except for the part where you didn’t shut him out like he thought you would. No, after a whole week of trying to talk to you and plan, it was during the flight that you chose to talk. You took him completely off guard by admitting that he was right and you needed a story in case someone ask. The two of you established that you had been married for three months and had been together for two years.
Hyunjin was bewildered how easy it was to talk to you when you weren’t threatening to kill him in his sleep. The moment you got your mind set on the mission, your feelings and opinions didn’t matter. The only thing that mattered was to succeed and if for that you had to deal with him, you would do your best.
A very nice surprise.
Namjoon had thought about every little details that even Hyunjin hadn’t thought about. For instance, not even for a second Hyunjin had imagined that the two of you would have to share a room. It made sense, in a way, but it still shocked him. He was not ready for it.
Hyunjin glanced at you, palms sweaty. He thought you would start a riot and curse Namjoon and his whole family. You did none of that. In fact, you looked completely relaxed. You pushed your suitcase toward the middle of the room and then stopped to observe the place. The room was big, huge windows that led to a small private balcony. A king size bed covered with petals of red roses and a couch that looked rather uncomfortable.
You scoffed at the flowers, finding this little detail ridiculous. And so did Hyunjin. “He didn’t need to go to this extent.” But you didn’t seem surprised too which made him wonder how many times Namjoon had arranged things for you.
Hyunjin followed you with his own suitcase. If there was only one bed and one couch, he would choose the couch, even if it didn’t look comfortable. He didn’t think you would accept to share a bed and he wasn’t sure he could sleep beside you at all. Not that he was scared for his life but sleeping with his crush did make him nervous.
“Dibs on the right side of the bed.” You interrupted his trail of thoughts and threw yourself on your side of bed. You propped yourself up on your elbows and watched Hyunjin with a smirk.
Hyunjin gasped loudly and looked at you as if you had grown a second head. “Wait what?”
You watched him from the bed, looking too smug for his liking. “What? Were you about to offer to sleep on the couch?”
Hyunjin wondered if he was that predictable or if you were just that good at reading people. For a second, he considered lying to avoid embarrassment but one look at you and he knew it was pointless. He shrugged. “Yes.”
“Don’t bother. I don’t care.”
“Sure about that?”
“Unless you’re a hugger, no, I don’t care.”
***
While you were taking a long, deserved shower, Hyunjin went through the few information Namjoon gave you about Park Minjun. Nothing really impressive; his family, about his wife, his kids, about his involvement with many powerful men in the society. Nothing really indicated that he had any involvement with the underground world. But then again, Hyunjin guessed that it wouldn’t be something obvious and they had to dig deeper.
Hyunjin threw his head back against the headboard and closed his eyes for a moment. The party, the CEO, pretend to be a married, happy man, you. It kept replaying in his mind. There were few hours left before the party and he couldn’t stop wondering how it would work out. How should they get close to the man and gather the needed proofs?
Before Hyunjin could delve more on the matter, you came out of the shower with just a towel wrapped around your body, water still dripping from your hair. Hyunjin opened his eyes only to gulp nervously at the sight of you. No make-up, amazing, toned body – he was both in hell and heaven. His pants grew tighter.
Instead of hiding from his intense gaze, you stopped by the bed, staring back. “Need a moment, Hwang?”
Yes. He cleared his throat and tried not to look at your legs. He knew, he shouldn’t be staring so much, but you looked just so flawless, he couldn’t tear his eyes from you.
“Still staring, darling.” You teased
Hyunjin squirmed under your amused stare. “I’m-“ sorry he wanted to say. But you didn’t want to hear his apology. No. Instead, you winked at him and then turned your back, letting him admire the view. You knew you looked good. You dropped your towel on the floor.
Hyunjin shrieked and quickly covered his eyes with his hands. You were toying with him, enjoying your moment judging by your sweet laugh.
“Cute.” He heard you whisper.
For a second, he peaked through his fingers, hoping you put some clothes on. But no. Still perfectly naked and with a glorious ass.
Shit.
“You’re enjoying this.” Hyunjin complained through gritted teeth.
You hummed, not disagreeing. You drew closer to the bed, enjoying how tensed Hyunjin got. How he desperately was trying to hide his eyes with his hands. Sadly for him, his body betrayed him. You smiled sweetly at him. “Just as much as you’re enjoying the view.” And you pointed at his pants, cackling at his pained face.
I need a shower. And a cold one.
***
Unsurprisingly, Hyunjin was ready for the party way before you. Instead of waiting for you in the room, he chose to wait in the main hall of the hotel, taking a moment to compose himself and repeat the made-up story in his head. Everything to distract him from the thought of you, naked with water dripping from your hair. He tried to shake off the image, but his mind refused to cooperate and replayed the moment over and over again like a broken record. This was torture and there was nothing he could do to escape.
“There you are, darling.” Your sweet voice echoed from behind him.
Hyunjin, very slowly, turned to face you. He sucked in his breath, taking in the sight of you. Obviously and objectively speaking, he knew you were a gorgeous woman, but tonight you had outdone yourself. The red silky dress hugged all your curves perfectly, the deep split on the left side exposed your thigh. Everything was flawless; from your dress to your hair, to your makeup – he was bewitched.
Hyunjin stared and stared, his eyes shining brightly. “You look dashing.”
You flipped your hair to make a point. “I know.”
He laughed and shook his head in fondness. Of course, you would say something like that. But then, your lips stretched into a big, genuine smile. “You look good too, hubby.” You stepped closer to him and grabbed his hand. “Let’s do it.”
***
The venue was huge and smelled of money. Impressive paintings, tables spread all around the place with food and drinks. Waiter and waitress walking around with drinks, trying not to disturb the important people. Everything was shining and glittering. A place, Hyunjin didn’t feel like he belonged to. Celebrities, politicians, the whole society had gathered at the same place. He wasn’t used to it, and he felt out of place.
You noticed it too. You nudged him playfully with your hips, grabbed his hand and squeeze it lightly. “Relax. Pretend you have loads of money and you will be just fine.”
Hyunjin glanced at you. It amazed him how natural you were. Nothing surprised you, nothing impressed you. No, you looked at the crowd, unimpressed, assessing them in silence. He bet, slowly a plan was forming in your mind. You grabbed two glasses of champagne from the closest waiter, thanking him with a smile before giving one glass to Hyunjin.
“Look,” you pointed at a person talking vividly with a man. “Park Minjun is already here. The man he’s talking to? He’s in charge of research for the army. Heard the army is developing a new weapon.”
Impressive. Hyunjin eyed the man; he looked to him like any other middle aged man in this room. Rich, wearing an expensive suit, arrogant, trying to make any more alliances.
“How do you know all that?” Hyunjin asked, admiring your knowledge.
You shrugged, your eyes still on the CEO. “I’ve been spying on them for so long. It helps.”
“Do you think Park Minjun is interested in what the army is developing?”
“Who knows.”
Hyunjin was tempted to ask more, to see what else you were hiding from him. He did none of that as he noticed some men staring at you. He recognized the look in their eyes: lust. He couldn’t blame them for lusting after his fake wife, you looked gorgeous and your dress was attracting attention. His body, as if having a mind of its own, moved; he put a hand on your hip, marking his territory. They could stare all they wanted, you were his for at least the upcoming days.
You didn’t shy away from his touch, quite the opposite. You leaned into his touch, feeling completely comfortable with his presence and his touch.
“Well, what’s a lovely surprise.” A man around Hyunjin’s age, or maybe a little older now that he looked at him, interrupted the two of you. He smiled widely, his eyes on you and then slowly his gaze slid to Hyunjin.
Hyunjin had to admit, the man before him was probably the only decent one in the place. Or at least, the vibe around him made Hyunjin believe that. He was terribly handsome and looked just as rich as any other person in this gallery and yet, where others looked arrogant and judgy, he looked genuinely friendly and apparently delighted to see you.
And yet, your whole body tensed at his presence. You leaned even closer to Hyunjin as if he could protect you from the man or help you to disappear. It made Hyunjin only curious. Where was the confident woman? The one ready to snap some necks and kick some asses? Odd.
“Hello Chris.” You finally found your voice and straightened your back, a sly smile on your face.
There she is.
If Chris noticed your uneasiness, he made no comment. Instead, he grabbed your hand and pulled it to his lips, kissing your knuckles, eyes on you. “It has been a while.”
“I’m a busy woman.” You chuckled.
“Don’t I know that.”
Hyunjin knew he wasn’t supposed to feel possessive over you but he couldn’t ignore the little, angry voice inside his head, telling him to yank you from this Chris’s hold. Fake husband or not, he wanted to keep you for himself while he could.
“This is Hyunjin, my husband.” You finished.
And just like that he relaxed. He eyed you discretely, feeling proud, even if it was fake.
Chris arched a brow at the presentation. “Oh? Since when?” He eyed Hyunjin, assessing him. Despite his intense staring, Hyunjin kept his composure and stared back with as much intensity and still wondering who the hell this man was.
“I’m offended I wasn’t invited to the wedding. Or did my invitation got lost?”
You laughed heartily at his pained expression. “Don’t be sad. It was a small wedding.”
Chris put his hand over his heart feigning pain; you only slapped his arm playfully, leaving Hyunjin’s warmth for a moment.
“Fine, fine.” Chris conceded. “Knowing you, I expected a big fancy venue with at least hundred people.”
You only glanced at Hyunjin, your eyes softening at the sight of his face. Hyunjin almost dropped his glass, completely taken off guard with how sincere, how convincing you looked. He could read love on your face when he knew there was none.
“I had everything I needed.” You said softly.
Chris gasped. “Who are you and what did you do to my snarky, little Y/N?”
You took a sip of your champagne and looked at him. “Don’t worry, she’s still here.” You leaned closer to him, your smile turning from gentle to wicked. “Ready to bite your head off for last time.”
Chris raised his hands in defeat and took a step back for good measure. Whoever he was to you, he knew about your character and tendencies. Hyunjin watched your interaction with even more curiosity.
“I apologized at least three times already. You can’t hold a grudge for so long, can you?” Chris complained.
You eyed him with a knowing look on your face, a silent message passing between you and him. “Fine, I forgive you. For good this time.”
“Thank you, love.” He joked, “Call me. I think we have a lot to talk about.”
Chris left the two of you and yet you kept your eyes on his back as he began talking with a group of people.
“Who was that?” Hyunjin finally asked.
“A friend.” You simply said without elaborating.
Hyunjin wanted to know more but from the corner of his eyes he saw the CEO moving. “He’s moving. Let’s go?”
***
The two of you followed Park Minjun and three other men as discretely as you could manage. If the CEO seemed completely oblivious of his surrounding, the two men seemed more anxious; they kept glancing behind them, almost as if they were expecting someone to follow them or maybe even feared that they would get ambushed. Hyunjin supposed, in a way, they were right to be so wary since the two of you were indeed spying on them.
The noise from the main hall of the gallery was getting scarce until Hyunjin heard nothing except for their light steps.
“I think Namjoon was right. Minjun is involved with some questionable people.” You whispered as you watched the men get inside a room, closing the door behind them and locking it for good measure. “I recognize two of men with him. The third must be his bodyguard.”
Hyunjin looked at you with raised brows, surprised once more how it seemed you knew everything and everybody. He wondered again; what kind of missions Namjoon entrusted you with. “Who are they?”
Without looking at him, you neared the door. “They belong to the crows.”
Hyunjin’s whole body froze at the name. He had heard about them. The name had popped in many cases, but they never could find anything to dismantle the gang and arrest the leaders. It was frustrating how they always seemed to be few steps ahead of them.
“What are we doing now?” Hyunjin asked.
You looked at him, a wicked smile plastered on your face. “We eavesdrop of course!” You didn’t hesitate; body pressed against the closed door you strained your ears to hear their conversation.
Hyunjin followed your lead. He stood close to you, his arm brushing yours. A good agent would keep his mind clear and concentrate on the mission. Hyunjin was not a good agent. He couldn’t help but notice how smooth your skin was. Your sweet scent. And the smile that never left your lips. Get a grip, Hyunjin!
“I expected your boss to show up.” Minjun’s rough voice could be heard from behind the door. He sounded displeased and annoyed.
“I’m his right hand and tonight I represent the crows.” The other man didn’t sound fazed with Minjun’s annoyance and yet Hyunjin could detect a hint of threat in his voice. “I’m sure it’s acceptable to you. Or maybe you should find another willing party. After all, we’re not the one in need, are we?” Now he was taunting the man.
You glanced at Hyunjin, exchanging a knowing look. Just few words but enough to prove that they didn’t come here for nothing. Few words to incriminate the man.
Minjun grumbled, displeased with the man’s attitude. “Fine. Where is it?”
Whatever the ‘it’ was, you couldn’t hear the rest of it. Steps echoed in the hall, alerting the two of you that you were no longer safe and had little time to no time at all to hide. Hyunjin’s heart leapt in his throat as he tried to find a solution, a way out. But you. You didn’t panic, you barely looked at him. Instead, you straightened your back and slid your hand under your dress and took a knife out.
“What the hell.” Hyunjin muttered to himself, eyes bulging at the sight of the knife. “We’re not fighting.”
You scoffed and stepped before him, ignoring his remark. Hyunjin wasn’t a fighter, but you were and right now you were itching to fight the intruder.
At the sound of steps growing louder, closer; his body moved on its own accord. He pushed you against the closest wall, trapping you with his body. He cupped the side of your face, his thumb rubbing a spot on your cheek.
Your sweet scent hit him like a truck. All he wanted in the first place was just to pretend, to make it look like the two of you were making out in the hall, to make the intruder feel out of place. But your fucking addicting scent drove him absolutely crazy. His eyes kept darting back and forth between your eyes, another kind of fire glowing in them, and your plump, red lips that were slightly parted in surprise. God, how much he wanted to kiss you. To smear your perfect lipstick.
Pretend. Mission. Fake. He repeated those words in his head, trying to persuade himself that this was more than enough.
It wasn’t.
“Do it, hubby.” You encouraged him after seeing him struggle to keep his control.
And Hyunjin did. His mouth crashed against yours. The kiss was bruising, needy, he had absolutely no control over his body, over his mouth. He wanted to taste every inch of you, to memorize how good you felt against him, how nice your lips felt against his.
His grip on your face tightened as you parted your pretty lips, inviting him in. You wrapped your arms tightly around his neck, pushing his face even closer to you.
Hyunjin’s free hand slid slowly from your chest, to your stomach, to your left, exposed, thigh. He grabbed your leg with strength and wrap it around him, giving him more access to your body, to feel more of you. To let you feel just how affected he was. How hard he was with just one kiss. You moaned into the kiss as his fingers dug into your skin.
So. Damn. Addicting. Hyunjin forgot all about their problem, all about the steps that grew only louder. He heard nothing. Saw nothing. There was only you and your gentle moans, urging him to ravish you right on the spot.
“Hey!” A loud, croaky voice interrupted them. “What the hell are you doing here? You’re not allowed in there!”
Hyunjin’s deep growl made your grip on him only tighten. You didn’t care about the intruder, but you cared about those stupidly addictive lips.
“What the-“ The man halted not far from you.
Hyunjin, unwillingly, slowly dropped your leg and parted from you. He wiped the corner of his lips and winked playfully at you before facing the man. “Sorry. I wanted a moment with my wife. She’s just so beautiful, I can’t have enough. Can you blame me?”
The man contemplated the idea of telling Hyunjin once more that you weren’t supposed to be there but one look at you and your disheveled self and swollen lips – he hesitated.
He ruffled his hair in frustration. “Just leave.”
***
“What do you think is his business with the crows?” Hyunjin asked as you stepped inside your room.
“No clue. They’re dangerous and powerful. It can’t be good.” You commented.
Barely inside and you were already undressing, with still no consideration for Hyunjin. He froze right on the spot as he watched you unzip your dress and let it pool at your feet, leaving you in nothing but your high heels and panties. He gulped, unable to avert his eyes even if a little voice was screaming at him not to look. He couldn’t. Not when you looked absolutely breath taking with your smooth skin, legs to die for and your long hair falling over your exposed breasts.
Another time, Hyunjin would have managed to keep his head cool and look away. Now? Now he knew how your lips tasted and how your skin felt under his touch. He couldn’t think straight.
“You can’t keep doing that.” Hyunjin managed to complain, his trousers grew tighter.
“Doing what?” You batted your eyelashes, trying to look innocent but your proud smile betrayed your intentions.
“That!” He pointed at your body. “I’m a man and I’m trying to be respectful.”
“I see that. You’re staring. Respectfully.” You laughed and slowly approached him, your smile turning into a smirk, knowing you were playing with fire and testing his patience.
Hyunjin should have known from the beginning that you were a menace. Jisung was right, you would eat him alive and he would say thank you.
“Must be hard watching and not being able to touch.” You cooed at him and poked his chest.
“You’re a terrible human being.” He complained without meaning his words.
“Am I?”
Hyunjin closed his eyes and took a deep breath. Bad idea. Your sweet scent hit his nose, making him slowly lose his self-control. He couldn’t think about anything else, only you and your body too close to his. All he needed to do was take the last step towards you, grab your neck and kiss you.
Think about the mission, Hyunjin. You can’t do that. But did he listen to the little voice? Hell no.
“Play with me, hubby.” You whispered, pushing his last limit.
Hyunjin snapped.
Or more like his self-control snapped. He grabbed the back of your neck and claimed your mouth. He devoured your mouth, showing you no mercy. He bit on your lips and pulled your hair, angling your head to deepen the kiss.
“You’re driving me nuts.” He groaned against your lips. “And I do not appreciate that.” He gave your hair a harsher tug, exposing the tender flesh of your neck. A perfect canvas for him. His lips slid from your mouth to your jaw, to your neck, leaving pretty marks on his way, claiming you just the way he wanted.
“I’m glad.” You moaned as your hands found their way to his head, pushing him closer to you, wanting to feel more of him. “It won’t be fun otherwise.”
Hyunjin bit on your collarbone in response. He wanted to make you pay for testing his patience, for making him yield so easily. He wanted to hear you plead for more, to hear your scream his name and ask for more. It was his mission for the night and he refused to stop. He scooped you in his arms, taking you off guard – you yelped in surprise. He carried you to the bed and dropped you on the mattress.
The sight before him was his personal hell. Your pretty lips swollen, your hair spread around you, your nipples hard and begging for attention. A goddess waiting for someone to worship her and he was more than willing. But slowly. Despite his own needs and wish to jump on you, he took his time to memorize your body; every little scar, and you had many of them, every mole.
“Take a picture, it lasts longer.” You teased, resting on your elbows as you watched him, biting your lips.
Hyunjin chuckled at your attempt at provoking him. He unbuttoned his shirt, button by button, watching as your eyes followed his every move, watching as you licked your lips at the sight of his bare skin.
“Might do it later.” He admitted. After all, he wouldn’t mind to immortalize the moment.
Hyunjin threw his shirt somewhere on the floor before his hands found their way to your ankles. Gently, he stroked your ankles that were probably tired after a long night wearing heels. Without a warning, he pulled you to the edge of the bed, closer to him, a wicked smile on his face.
Slowly and without breaking the eye-contact, he dropped to his knees. He grabbed your panties and tugged down, exposing your pretty and already wet pussy. Whenever you had planned to get him on his knees or not, you were ready for him and he had to admit he enjoyed the sight before him.
“Tell me what you want, Y/N.” Hyunjin asked. His soft lips leaving a trail of kisses across your thigh, setting your skin on fire.
“Don’t be a tease.” You ordered and nudged him with your knee but Hyunjin was having none of that.
“Come on. Tell me. Is it my tongue you want?” And to make his point he licked your skin, from your knee to your thigh, getting dangerously close to the place you really wanted him. “Or is it my fingers?” Still teasing, he barely brushed his fingers against your pussy, making you hiss in frustration.
“I’m going to fucking kill you.” You threatened him, refusing to give him the power over you.
Hyunjin only laughed against your skin and bit your thigh playfully, your threat doing nothing except turning him on.
“Come on, Y/N. it’s not that hard.”
Your ego demanded that you kept your mouth shut, but your body was on fire and on edge and growing impatient. You needed him to touch you.
Your body won the war. “Please, Hyunjin. I really, really need you.” You begged as prettily as you could.
And how could he refuse when asked so nicely? Hyunjin delved in, eagerly, letting the taste of you consume him. There was no stopping, not when you sweet taste invaded all his senses and turned him into an addict.
“Fuck.” You cried out and arched your back.
Hyunjin devoured you, licking, sucking, knowing exactly what you needed. It was as if he already knew how your body worked, what made you curl your toes, what brought out your sweet cries.
One particular strong suck had you reach out for his head, tugging at his locks. You weren’t sure whether you wanted to bring him closer to your pussy or put some space – it didn’t stop him. Hyunjin’s gaze met yours, eyes shining with mischief.
He kept his mouth on you and slid two fingers inside you, stretching you. Your every little cries made him suck only harder, pump his fingers faster until you were nothing but a mess, writhing and begging to come.
And you came hard in a silent scream, body trembling.
If you thought, Hyunjin would give you a minute to recover, you were wrong. He flipped you on your stomach, his hands slid from your shoulders, to your back, to your ass. Such a nice and beautiful ass. Hyunjin couldn’t stop himself from giving it a strong slap.
He hurried to unzip his pants, the urge to sink inside you getting unbearable. He nudged your pussy with his cock and you pushed back, whimpering, needing to feel him inside. Hyunjin, despite his own needs, still had some control left. Seeing you so wet, so desperate and lost to your own pleasure because of him pleased him.
“Hwang, I swear to god-“ You started but all words died on your tongue the moment Hyunjin buried himself deep inside you with one strong push. “Fuck!” You cried out.
The pain, the stretch, followed by pure bliss made you grab the sheets, holding for your dear life. You expected Hyunjin to take his sweet time, to make his thrusts slow and controlled.
You were wrong.
Maybe it was because of your pleas, maybe because of how nice and perfect your walls felt around him. Or maybe the little control left had finally snapped. He set a brutal rhythm. His grip on your hips strong, almost painful and that would leave, without a single doubt, marks. And you didn’t care.
“So. Damn. Perfect.” Hyunjin managed to say in between strong, deep thrusts.
Hyunjin leaned over you, slowing his thrusts for a moment, only to fist your hair and yank your head back. His warm breath caressed your neck. “This is payback for all the teasing, Y/N.” His voice sounded rough and ominous.
It should have been a warning and you would have given a damn any other time. But Hyunjin was good. Felt too good. Your mind was blank. You could barely remember your own name.
As Hyunjin forced you to arch against him, his fucking increased, reaching deeper, making you see stars. Mouth opened, tears in the corner of your eyes, there was no stopping. With one particularly strong push, he tipped you over the edge. Your orgasm tore through you, violent, powerful, toe-curling. For a second you couldn’t see, couldn’t hear. And Hyunjin kept going, seeking his own release.
Fingers digging into your skin, Hyunjin came with a loud groan, spilling himself inside you.
With his release came a realization. I’m fucked.
***
Hyunjin woke up with a feeling that something was off. He looked for his phone on the bedside table, only to see that it was three in the morning. He yawned and rolled on the other side, wanting to get closer to you and to your warmth. Only to find your side of the bed empty and cold. He straightened up on the bed, staring blankly at the empty spot. Slowly, he touched it, confirming that his mind hadn’t imagined it being cold. No, you had left the bed and apparently the room a long time ago.
Hyunjin didn’t know how he felt about it. Should he worry? Did you need space after what happened between the two of you? Or worse, did you regret it? Hyunjin refused to imagine the worst scenario, but he struggled. He considered, for a short moment, to get out of bed and start looking for you. What if something bad happened?
He heard the bip from the door and quickly lay down on the bed. He squinted, forcing his eyes to adapt to the darkness.
You walked inside the room on your tiptoes, trying not to make any noise, trying not to wake Hyunjin up. Too late for that, but he did his best pretending to be asleep. Hyunjin hoped you couldn’t see how he was peeking at you or how fast his breathing got.
You paid no attention to him as you got closer to the bed. You untied your hair and ruffled them in frustration. Whatever you were doing at this hour of the night, you didn’t look too happy about it. Slowly you took off your leather jacket and threw it on the chair and then, and it made Hyunjin fight a gasp, you pulled out your gun.
Where the hell were you? What were you doing? He wished he could just ask you these questions, but he wasn’t sure you would take it well. Not yet at least.
Hyunjin tried to calm his heart, to steady his breathing; you got closer to the bed and watched his sleeping form.
“Such a pretty boy.” You hummed, face relaxing at his sight. You gently brushed some strands of hair from his face and Hyunjin fought a shiver.
***
He woke up a second time but much later. He expected to see you sleeping beside him, after all, weren’t you supposed to be tired after going out in the middle of the night? Yet, he found once more your side of the bed empty. He groaned and quickly crawled out of bed. He had questions and for that he needed to find you.
Turns out, finding you wasn’t as hard as he expected. Maybe for a moment, he had forgotten that you were also human and needed to eat. Hyunjin found you at the restaurant, dressed in a pretty white dress that gave you an almost innocent look which unsettled him. But not only that; you were talking vividly, laughing and smiling with Park Minjun.
Hyunjin paused, staring blankly at you and the man. It amazed him how easily you talked with the man, how genuinely interested you looked. If he didn’t know about the mission, he would have believed you were long lost friends. It impressed him how easily you adapted to different situations, different people, letting them see and hear what they needed, what they wanted.
When you spotted Hyunjin, your whole face lit up. Hyunjin gulped, not liking how his heart reacted, not liking how your smile cheered his soul. He couldn’t stop his mind from replaying the images of your kisses, of your touches, of your smooth skin against his, of your lovely voice. He didn’t regret his choice, but he was also aware that he was in deep shit.
Hyunjin took a deep breath and started walking toward your table, confident. A small smile crept across his face as your own widened.
“Oh, babe!” You called for him, pretending so well to be completely smitten with your husband. You welcomed him with a sweet smile and a kiss on his cheek (he swore his heart missed a beat). “Sorry, I was too hungry and you looked so sweet. I didn’t want to wake you up.”
Voice sweet like honey, Hyunjin found himself at the loss of words. There was no way you left him without a word just because he looked sweet, but you were so damn convincing. He shook his head before chuckling. Two could play this game. He took a strand of your hair, curled it around his finger before bringing it to his lips. You sucked in a breath, your eyes locked on him.
“It’s fine.” Hyunjin leaned and pressed his lips against yours. As much as he wanted the moment to last, he couldn’t ignore any longer the man’s presence. “Hello, sir.”
The CEO eyed him from head to toe, nodded as if he liked what he saw. If only he knew. “You must be Hyunjin.”
Hyunjin pulled the chair and sat beside you. “The one and only.” He smiled at the man while his hand slipped to your thigh and rested there comfortably, loving the warmth of your skin under the palm of his hand.
Park Minjun smiled as he brought his cup to his mouth. “You have a fabulous wife. So passionate.”
Hyunjin looked at you, eyes softening. “I know. I’m a lucky man.”
Slowly, he rubbed circles on your thigh and you had to fight back a shiver. You could have stopped him, quite easily, but his touch was too addictive.
Minjun cleared his throat. “Y/N, it was lovely meeting you. But I believe I should leave the two of you alone. Enjoy your stay.”
The moment he was out of sight, you dropped your act. A long and tired sigh escaped your lips and you sank further into your seat. And yet, you still didn’t try to pry his hand off your thigh.
“Learnt anything?” Hyunjin asked, resting his head in the palm of his free hand.
“Nothing important. I thought charming him would serve me. Maybe not now, but later.”
Hyunjin hummed. You were right, it could be useful. “He looked charmed.”
You chuckled and poked his side playfully. “Why? Are you jealous, Hwang?”
Hyunjin could have stopped the little game, could have dropped his own act – he didn’t. He leaned closer, looking at you with a smirk. “Why should I be? I was the one making you scream my name. Not this old man.”
You gasped and feigned outrage. “My, my. Scandalous.”
“I know.”
“Now, that being said,” Your smile turned wicked. “I put a tracker on him.”
***
Jisung took his sweet time to answer the phone. It almost comforted Hyunjin to know that even with you, he acted this way. Except for the fact that you weren’t as patient as him. You groaned and threw your arms in the air, growing annoyed with every attempt at reaching for your friend.
“Hello my lovely, favorite couple ever!” Jisung’s cheerfulness brought a tiny smile to Hyunjin’s face, until he remembered that he wanted and needed to kick his ass. “How’s your honeymoon?”
“A lot of fucking. Something you can’t relate to because you’re forever bitchless.” You didn’t hesitate to humble him.
Hyunjin tried to stifle his laugh, only for you to glance at him with a frown, silently warning him.
Jisung gasped through the phone, offended. “Rude.” And for good measure, added, “Bitch.”
“Tell me something I don’t know.”
“Well,” Jisung began, “I know for sure that there is no way you fucked Hyunjin.” Jisung sounded so confident and yet none of you tried to correct him.
Hyunjin glanced at you but you ignored him, staring at your phone instead and looking tired. Finally, the consequences of your late night activities were showing. You needed to rest but something told him that a comment from him would earn him an even deeper frown.
At the silence, Jisung squealed. “Right?”
“I put a tracker on Minjun. I need you to tell me what he’s doing.” You said instead, refusing to satisfy his curiosity.
Hyunjin heard Jisung tapping on his computer, guessing he was already on it.
“I’m not done with you.” He warned the two of you. “He’s coming back home.”
Only then, you finally looked at Hyunjin, nodding. “Then so do we.”
***
Namjoon was in a bad mood. Hyunjin guessed it the moment he stepped inside his office. He kept tugging at his hair and muttering under his nose. Whatever was bothering him, meant probably no good to him too.
Hyunjin had been back for only few days which left him little time to check on his other cases, make a report about Park Minjun, meet with Jisung to know about the man’s whereabouts.
And you. You simply vanished. He should have known it would happen. He should have guessed that whatever happened between the two of you during your mission would end the moment you stepped out of the plane. It still left a bitter taste.
“I read you report.” Namjoon finally said.
“Did Y/N make her own report too?” Hyunjin wondered.
Namjoon quirked a brow at him. “She did.” He sighed. “The crows are bad news. I hoped you would be able to gather more information.”
“Y/N made contact with Park Minjun.. Maybe if we meet him again, she could gather more.”
Speaking of the devil, you barged into the office as if you owned the place. Namjoon barely reacted at your rudeness, obviously too used to your behavior. You dropped on the chair beside Hyunjin, refusing to acknowledge his presence which pissed him off more than he was willing to admit to himself.
“Weapons.” You announced, “Your tip was right. Minjun does sell weapons to dangerous people and now he’s going to sell them to the crows which sucks. They’re already powerful enough.”
Hyunjin almost jumped out of his seat and grabbed you to question you. He held back. Barely. “How did you find out?”
Instead of looking at him, you checked your nails, looking disinterested if not bored. “I don’t think you want to know.”
Hyunjin took a deep breath, counting till ten to calm himself down. If there was one thing, he disliked about you it was how easily you switched from being nice to the bitchy-old-self. It made him wonder if the side you showed him was real.
“What did you do?” Namjoon asked instead, sensing the tension in the room.
You sighed and slid your gaze to him. “Let’s just say that some men are eager to talk in promise of a blowjob.”
Hyunjin winced, unable to stop himself.
Namjoon nodded, unfazed with your explanation. “We need tangible proof. I’m counting on the two of you.”
Great. Just great.
***
Despite Namjoon’s words, Hyunjin doubted you would agree to partner with him. It was one thing when it was expected of you to pretend and be seen, but looking for information was different. You obviously had your ways and Hyunjin would be a nuisance.
Before you could leave him, Hyunjin grabbed your wrist and forced you to stop and look at him. There was so many things he wished to say but one look at you and only one question remained in his brain.
“You didn’t really give him a blowjob in exchange for information, did you?” He asked, his voice rough.
You scoffed at his question and pulled away from his grasp. “Why? Jealous?”
“Y/N.”
You pushed him away from you by poking his chest angrily. “I have my ways to get the job done, Hwang. Just because we fucked, doesn’t mean I owe you shit.”
Of course, you would go back to being the cold, unpredictable and distant self. He wanted to yell at you, to shake you and remind you that you didn’t always have to work alone, that you could rely on him.
“Namjoon needs proof.” You added, “I’m going to give him that.”
“And I’m going to help you.” Hyunjin insisted.
“No fucking way.
You had been staring at your computer’s screen for the past twenty minutes as if the solution to your problems would magically pop up on the screen. Obviously, it didn’t which turned your mood even sourer.
The deal with the crows and Park Minjun bothered you. Despite knowing that the man was selling weapons, you had to find a way to get close and get a real proof. But how? You couldn’t really show at his doorstep and ask him about the details. And getting closer to the crows would be too troublesome. With a long and tired sigh, you threw your head back and closed your eyes to think. Sadly, your brain didn’t want to think about work and possible solutions. No, it chose to think about a very cute, yet annoying man.
“Fuck it.” You groaned and tried to erase his image from your mind. You didn’t want to think about him. You didn’t want to remember the night you spent together. You didn’t want to remember how easily your body craved his touches. And you certainly didn’t want to admit how much you still wanted more.
Your doorbell rang and brought you back to reality. You glanced at the door, tempted to ignore whoever dared to disturb you at your place. Not many knew where you lived, it was better this way for your safety.
It rang a second time followed by a loud knock.
“Open the damn door, Y/N!” Jisung’s loud voice reached your ear.
“Of-fucking-course.” The temptation to ignore him was strong but you also knew that Jisung was a stubborn one; he would alert the whole neighborhood if it meant you would open the damn door.
Unwillingly, you forced yourself out of the couch to open the door. “What the fuck do you want?!”
Jisung lifted his bag and wiggled it playfully before you as if it would change your mind about his presence. “Let’s get drunk.”
Tempting, you had to admit it. You stared at the bag before sliding your gaze to him. Jisung was smiling so widely, knowingly, it annoyed you. He didn’t come here just to get drunk; he wanted information and the best way was through alcohol.
“Fine.” You stepped out of his way. “Come in.”
Jisung didn’t need to be told twice. He hurried inside before you could change your mind. He eyed the room, gasping at the mess. Folders were spread all around your table along with your clothes. Despite being back for few days now, instead of properly unpacking, you left your clothes all around the living room.
“Are you going to tell me?” Jisung asked and glanced at you over his shoulder, “Or should I make you talk?”
You eyed him, incredulous. Jisung tried to sound intimidating as if he could actually make you talk but with his boyish looks it just didn’t work. You drew nearer, a dangerous glint in your eyes. You were the predator in the room and you didn’t mind reminding him. You stopped, barely any space left between your bodies.
“And how are you going to make me talk, Ji?” You flicked his nose playfully.
Jisung gulped, not so confident anymore. You laughed and pulled back to give him space. You pulled out a bottle of bear from his bag and walked to the couch. “What exactly do you want to know?”
You plopped on the couch and relaxed.
“How’s work with Hyunjin?” He asked as he grabbed his own bottle and sat on the chair, watching you.
His question didn’t surprise you but it still annoyed you. “He’s a pain in my ass.”
Jisung wiggled his brows playfully. “I’m sure you’re the perfect partner too.”
You already regretted letting him in. You didn’t want to talk about Hyunjin with him. You didn’t want to talk about him at all in fact. But one look at Jisung and you knew he wouldn’t leave until he got his answers. God help me.
“You know I prefer working alone. It’s easier. I don’t want his life to depend on me.” You explained.
Jisung hummed, knowing how your brain worked. “But sometimes it’s nice to know someone has your back. Hyunjin is loyal and will do anything to help you.”
You knew. Your last interaction showed just how much he was willing to help even if you were a cold bitch to him. You wanted to keep him away from you, from the danger that you loved to surround yourself with. He didn’t need this drama in his life. Hyunjin was a nice guy. Even before working with him, you had heard stories about him and you had witnessed on many occasions how wiling he was to help people. Even those who didn’t deserve his help.
“You know I’ll put him in danger.” You sighed in defeat.
Jisung pointed at you with his bottle. “Pretty sure it’s not your call to make.”
***
You didn’t know how you felt about visiting Hyunjin’s office out of the blue. On one hand you knew the reasonable thing to do would be to apologize for your behavior and have a truce with him. But on the other hand, you weren’t particularly fond of the idea of working with him again. You feared that more time you spent with him and more likely you would put him in danger. And maybe grow fond of him too. It was dangerous for your plans and so out of your character. You didn’t have time for men or the patience. You could deal with one night stands; you had your needs to fulfill after all. But more? No. Not your thing.
But Hyunjin was testing your boundaries, your willpower without even knowing it, therefore it made him dangerous.
You stared at his half-opened door, hesitating. All you had to do was to walk in, offer him a coffee and apologize. And then ask for his help. Not so hard, was it? It was. You took a deep breath, composed your face and walked inside his office confidently.
“Hello, Hwang.” You hummed, sounding as friendly as you could manage.
If you had thought it would go easy, you were terribly wrong. Hyunjin barely acknowledged your presence, the only sign that told you he had perfectly heard you, was the way his body tensed at the sound of your voice and how he stopped taping on his computer. Yeah, easy peasy.
His reaction didn’t deter you. You got to his desk and put the cup of coffee you got him beside his computer, pretending that everything was alright.
And yet still no reaction.
You observed him in silence for a moment, taking your time to memorize every part of his face. You smiled when he crunched his nose, his resolution to ignore you slowly crumbling. The corner of your lips quirked up. You sat on the edge of his desk and gently grabbed his chin, tilting his head. “I didn’t give him a blowjob. But I beat the shit out of him when I got the information.”
Here was the truth of what really happened. Of course, you were ready to do a lot to succeed but you still had your own limits. And you had other effective means to make someone talk. You let go of his chin and tried not to smile at his reaction.
Hyunjin tried to keep his face straight, to hide his emotions but you saw a glimpse of surprise on his face anyway. You noticed how his body relaxed instantly at your confession. Slowly, he outstretched his arm and grabbed your peace offering. You watched him, eyes never leaving him as he brought the cup of coffee to his damn tempting lips and took a sip. If from outside you were smiling at the little win, inside you were slapping yourself for admiring him a little too much.
“Thank you for the coffee.” Hyunjin held the cup with one hand and leaned back against his chair. “Why are you here, Y/N?”
‘Because I was an ass to you and I’m sorry. And I need your help.’ You wanted to say. Instead, you eyed him, captivated with his lips and some creams in the corner of his lips.
“According to Namjoon and also you, we are partners. Can’t I visit my partner?” You tried to play coy, when really, all you had to do was be sincere with him. But it went against your nature and your damn ego.
Hyunjin wasn’t impressed, judging by the way he quirked a brow and didn’t comment.
Yeah. It wasn’t so easy after all. You were too hopeful. Who would have guessed that the sweet and gentle Hyunjin could actually hold a (totally justified) grudge. You underestimated him and that was your mistake.
You sighed in defeat. “Fine. I need your help.”
Hyunjin whistled, impressed with how long it took you to admit the reason behind your visit. “And here I thought you didn’t need a partner.”
You chewed on your lips, so tempted to make a snarky comment but you couldn’t. You did need his help. “You won’t make it easy, will you?”
Hyunjin shrugged as if it was nothing and took another sip, waiting for your explanation, not agreeing right away. You had to admit that you were impressed how easily he managed to keep a straight face, not giving in right away. You knew better than to underestimate an opponent but somehow you did.
“Fine.” You raised your hands in defeat. “Do you remember Chris? There’s a party and I know Minjun will also attend it. The two of them know that I’m married, it would be weird if I show up without my handsome husband.”
You waited for him to show any sign, but Hyunjin only stared at you, making you feel uneasy for the first time. He wouldn’t refuse, would he? Not that you couldn’t make it work without him. You were pretty sure you could convince anyone. But deep inside, you wanted him to be by your side. Even if it was a very dangerous game. But then, he stood up and took a step towards you. He put his hands on the desk, on every side of you, trapping you between the desk and him.
“And how badly do you need my presence, wifey?” He asked, face a little too close to your liking. You could see every little mark, his pretty mole and those damn lips. You could barely remember his question, your attention on his lips only. Someone talked about a mission? A plan? Who cared when you could just tilt your face and claim those lips for yourself.
Seeing how unresponsive you were and with your eyes locked on his lips, Hyunjin couldn’t stop himself from leaning even closer. His lips brushed the shell of your ear; your body reacted on its own, shivering in both excitement and need. “Are you even listening, wifey?”
“I am.” A big fat liar, yes.
He clicked his tongue at your blatant lie and pulled completely away, freeing your body and also your damn brain from his spell. You blinked in confusion and had to fight back the urge to pull him back.
“I’ll help you.”
***
It had been ages since the last time you attended one of Chris’s parties. You avoided those kind of parties if you could. You hated the people that attended it, always the same one: arrogant, rich, who still managed to complain about every little thing when they had everything they needed. You loathed them and hated their conversation. But at least with Chris it was different. Maybe it was because of him and how genuine he was about what he did or maybe he just always managed to ground you.
Tonight was no exception. The venue was huge, classy and smelled of money. Fortunately for you, this time around you didn’t need Chris’s presence to help you to go through the night. You had someone better and definitely more distracting than your friend.
Hyunjin looked insanely good in his red suit and with his hair pushed back. A model. If he ever got tired of his current job, you had no doubt that he could revert to modeling and he would succeed. Apparently, you weren’t the only one who noticed how good he looked tonight; many women had their eyes on him. Too bad, he wasn’t there for them. To mark your claim, you looped your arms with his and gave him a sweet smile. Take that bitches, he’s mine. Very adult of you.
“I know what you’re doing.” Hyunjin whispered and brushed his lips against your forehead.
“I don’t know what you’re talking about.” You feigned innocence and took a sip of your drink, nevertheless a smug smile spread on your lips.
Hyunjin chuckled and shook his head, fond with your attempt at hiding your intentions. “I don’t care about those women. But do you know what bothers me?” His fingers slid slowly from your shoulder to your arm to your hand – you shivered in response and looked at him expectantly. “Those men eye-fucking you.”
Oh dear, where was the sweet Hyunjin? He looked anything but gentle right now. In fact, the murder in his eyes reminded you a lot of you. Maybe, he wasn’t that different from you. You wrapped your arms around his neck, making sure not to spill your drink over him, you pressed your body against him. “Maybe fuck me in the middle of the room and they’ll get the hint.”
Despite the display of affection that clearly attracted more attention on the two of you, Hyunjin played the game perfectly. He put his hands on your hips, his grip strong and delicious. “Is it a challenge?”
This time, you were the one to shake your head, amused with the outcome. Here you thought, you could make him blush and change the subject. But no, Hyunjin still managed to surprise you. “When did you get so bold, Hwang?”
“I believe you’re rubbing on me.”
“Namjoon is going to have a heart attack if you start behaving like me.”
Hyunjin could actually imagine Namjoon’s reaction and shivered. “I’m sure it would please you.”
You didn’t comment but your silence spoke louder. So did your smirk.
Reluctantly, Hyunjin let go of you. “He’s here.” Hyunjin commented as he finally spotted Minjun. And as much as you wanted to enjoy your time with your fake husband, you had a job to do. “He’s with his wife.”
You groaned at the mention of the wife. “I can deal with him but her-“ While investigating about Minjun you found plenty of interesting and disturbing information on his wife. From outside she looked like the typical rich wife. Inside? She was an ugly, manipulative bitch. She had no problem with using her power to bully the weak, to use her influence to get what she wanted. Whoever she wanted. The kind of person you just wished you could shoot and never look at again. Sadly, if you wanted to find out more about the CEO you also needed to face her.
“I can’t promise I won’t snap.” You finished.
“Well, my lovely wife,” Hyunjin took your hand and gave it a gentle squeeze. “I’m more than willing to hold you back.”
Park Minjun spotted the two of you before you could even reach them. His whole face lit up like a Christmas tree, genuinely delighted seeing you again. Maybe not Hyunjin, but you for sure.
“What a lovely surprise!” He took you completely off guard by reaching for you and giving you a hug. You didn’t peg him for a hugger, but apparently he was. “Such a delight! You look lovely, Y/N.” And then he shook Hyunjin’s hand, surprisingly with enthusiasm.
“Thank you M. Park.” You gave him your prettiest smile, trying to look as genuine as possible which with Hyunjin’s presence influencing you, wasn’t that hard. At least, until your gaze found the old hag’s face. The urge to slap her was strong; she was ogling Hyunjin as if he was a piece of meat and not a human being.
“Darling, this is Y/N and Hyunjin.” He introduced you.
Lazily her gaze slid to you, looking at you as if you were nothing but dirt under her feet. Such a lovely piece of shit, you thought.
“He’s way too pretty to be your husband.” She commented with a huff of disdain.
You are going to die. Slowly and painfully.
“He’s way too pretty to be tied to a woman like her.” She completely disregarded you, her attention fully back on Hyunjin.
“Come on darling.” Minjun tried, sensing that her comment brought a tension that wasn’t there a moment ago. “Don’t be rude. Y/N is a lovely and charming woman.”
“For a whore maybe.”
Mission, mission, mission. You repeated the word in your head, trying to calm the fire spreading through your veins. Trying to keep your temper in check and not give in to your urge to slice her open with your knife and see if she bled the same color as you.
Fuck the mission. Discretely, you pushed back the sleeve of your left arm, ready to grab your knife. Before you could get it, Chris appeared right beside you, grabbing your hand and bringing it to his lips. He kissed your knuckles as a greeting, his smile charming but his eyes were burning with fire and a threat. A fire that would usually appease you and remind you your place. Not tonight. You were too gone.
“And she is family to me.” Chris announced as he let go of your hand and turned to face the couple. Despite now the polite smile on his face, the threat was obvious. “Please refrain from insulting her or I’ll take it personally.”
Minjun’s face paled at the threat. It would have amused you to see him squirm if it wasn’t for your wish to fight. He cleared his throat and hurried to take his wife’s hand. “We’re going to grab another drink, let’s talk later.”
The moment they left, Hyunjin let out a long sigh and looked at you with a knowing look. Someone wanted to scold you but you didn’t give two shits.
“Piece of shit.” The two of you said at the same time.
Hyunjin surprised you with his words and reaction, but oddly, it soothed your nerves and the fire burning inside your veins. Yeah, he was right, you were rubbing on him.
Chris palmed his face. He barely avoided a massacre right in the middle of the party; just thinking about what could have happened tired him.
“As much as I hate the woman, you can’t hurt her.” Chris’s hard gaze fell on you and you would have winced at it if not for Hyunjin’s comforting presence.
“She’s a bitch!” You protested.
“And you have dozens of witnesses.” He gestured at the people surrounding you. “Don’t get sloppy.”
Fine. Chris was right, but you still felt the need to get rid the world of another ugly human-being. Hyunjin sensed that; he wrapped an arm around your waist and pulled you against him.
“It’s not like she was going to kill her.” Hyunjin told him, confident.
Oh Hyunjin, if only you knew.
You wished he hadn’t said that. Not only because he was wrong, but also because it would alert Chris.
“Sure about that? Y/N was ready to pull out her knife and end her right on the spot.” He looked at your covered arm, knowing a small knife was hiding under it. “She craves violence but I’m sure,” his gaze slid to Hyunjin, “you already knew that.”
Your palms were sweaty. Chris made you squirm under his mocking gaze. He knew this whole couple thing was fake, he felt it from the first time he had seen Hyunjin and Hyunjin’s faith in you only proved it.
“Have fun.” Chris said with one good look at the two of you. “But don’t cause trouble.”
So tempting to tell him to fuck off but you resisted only for the sake of pretense.
“You weren’t really planning to hurt her?” Hyunjin asked.
“She insulted you. This old damn hag-“
“Simp.”
“Take that back, Hwang!”
****
It was only much later that you managed to have a second chance with Minjun, without his wife scowling at you. You didn’t even have much to do to attract his attention; the moment you found yourself alone with your drink, he didn’t hesitate to approach you. Obviously, Hyunjin’s presence never bothered him, but Chris? He clearly didn’t want to attract his attention a second time.
“I’m so sorry for my wife’s behavior.” He apologized, standing close to you.
You smiled sweetly at him, batting your eyelashes at him. “It’s fine. No harm done.” But what you really wanted to say was that his wife would not live another day if she ever made another comment about Hyunjin or even dared to look his way.
He smiled, grateful for your gentleness.
Another man, in black suit, joined the two of you. He nodded his head at Minjun and stood closely to the two of you. You remembered him. The same man that went with Minjun to meet the crows. You listened to the man, looking invested in whatever he was saying while your mind was going through different ways you could get information out of him. Instead, you spotted something else on the bodyguard as he moved: a gun.
“Nice gun.” You commented, taking the two men off guard. Of course, they judged you for your looks and underestimated you. As if a woman who looked like a doll could know anything about guns. You stared at the gun for a moment before averting your eyes. “I don’t recognize the model.”
Minjun whistled, impressed. “You are full of surprises, Y/N.”
That you were. You smiled into your drink, trying not to look too smug. “My uncle is an avid collector.” You glanced once more at the gun. “He taught me how to shoot.”
Minjun made a sign with his hand and the bodyguard took few steps towards you before pulling his gun and handing it to you. You glanced at the man, making sure he didn’t mind you touching it; he nodded his head and smiled.
“Oh. I expected it to be heavier.” You commented as you admired the gun. You moved it around, weighing it.
“It’s a new design. I wanted to make life easier for my men.” Minjun admitted, proudly.
You handed the gun back to the bodyguard, your gaze on the older man. “Guess you’re full of surprises too, M. Park.”
“It’s a hobby of mine.” He confessed.
“That reminds me of my uncle.”
“I bet I’d get along with your uncle.”
He wouldn’t.
***
Of course the crows would want the best guns on the market and if Park Minjun was the one making them, it was no surprise they agreed to work with him. But still, you needed more to be able to stop them. Maybe talking with Hyunjin would clear your mind and help you to find a solution to your problem. But before you could do any of that, Chris grabbed your arm and pulled you to the balcony where nobody could hear you.
Chris did not look amused when he met your eyes. In fact, you were pretty sure he was upset and was trying really bad to keep his own temper in check.
“What’s wrong Chris?”
“The fuck you’re doing, Y/N?” He scowled.
It wouldn’t be very wise of you to play pretend with him; Chris could read people easily, even you which annoyed you half of the time. Tonight was no exception. He could tell you were up to something and probably something bad. He wasn’t wrong.
“Nothing.” You raised your arms in defense. “Yet.”
Chris took a deep breath to calm himself. “What’s your business with Park Minjun?”
Nothing went unnoticed, how sad. Unfortunately, you couldn’t share your mission with him, no matter how close the two of you were. “None. We met not long ago while I was enjoying a nice weekend with Hyunjin.”
Chris scoffed at the mention of your fake husband. “Who clearly knows shit about you.”
In a blink of an eye you stood before him, your knife no longer hidden under your sleeve and pressed against his throat. “And you better keep it that way.”
Chris didn’t even blink, he stared at you, unimpressed. Wouldn’t be the first time you threatened him. Nor the last. “You and your love for knives is terrifying.”
“Don’t see why.” You shrugged and pulled away. It would do you no good to fight him and you weren’t that confident either. Behind his calmness, Chris was a sleeping storm; a storm you would rather avoid.
“Did you know Minjun sells weapons?” You asked instead.
Chris raised his brow at the change of subject. “Yes. He’s been a little paranoid recently. Some people want him dead, I heard. Beomseok offered him a deal: he will protect him but in exchange he will decide to who he sells the weapons.”
What a shitty deal, you thought. From outside, it looked nice; Minjun kept his business and his life, but really, he lost everything. “Basically, the crows are taking control over his business in exchange for his life.”
“Yes, nothing good will come out of this deal.” Chris admitted as he kept his eyes on you. You could tell there was more he wanted to say but chose to hold back.
“What?”
“You’re asking questions but you already know the answers.” He noted, expecting you to spill all your secrets.
Your only reaction came in the form of a lazy, knowing smile.
***
Hyunjin was going to be pissed. Rightfully so. And you would probably need to find another peace offering quite soon. You knew leaving him behind wasn’t the nicest thing to do, especially not since you were the one who requested his presence at the party. But you couldn’t involve him in your plans. Not only he wouldn’t approve of your ideas but you bet he would try to stop you. Therefore, you left the party without looking back.
Just in case, you had left your car in the parking lot with clothes and weapons. You hurried to change, ditching your dress for a more comfortable outfit: black pants, grey t-shirt, a jacket and a cap to hide your identity if needed. You hid your favorite gun under your t-shirt, reveling in the feeling of it against your skin. You hid another knife in your boots, tucking it safely.
Once ready, you slumped in your seat, you waited and watched people coming in and out of the venue. Your plan wasn’t the best one and you weren’t fully sure it would lead you anywhere but you were tired of waiting and trying to find other ways to get proofs.
You didn’t need to wait long for Minjun to leave the party along with his wife and the bodyguard. Perfect. You waited for the car to start, gave them a moment to leave the parking lot and then you followed.
Obviously, you couldn’t invite yourself at his house and search the place, too dangerous. But the bodyguard? He was there the night the deal happened which meant he had valuable information and stalking him would be a piece of cake. And it was exactly what you did.
The bodyguard dropped the Parks at their house, stayed barely five minutes inside before leaving again. You hoped he would drive to his place – it would be easier to slip inside and get to him. But no, you supposed like many men he needed to unwind after a long day of work and the best place for many happened to be a bar.
You followed him inside and observed him from a corner, watching as he talked to some other men. You weren’t a very patient person, half of the time, but when it came to work and your preys, you didn’t mind waiting as long as it helped you to get what you needed.
And you were rewarded. He left through the backdoor to smoke. And it was your chance. The place was perfect; barely any light and nobody outside. And no security cameras. He shouldn’t have used the backdoor.
Satisfied, you moved closer to him without making any noise and pointed your gun at his head. “Let’s play a game.”
He froze at the sound of your voice and the feel of the gun pressed against his head. He was sloppy and it was his mistake. He should have known that working for Park Minjun would bring him trouble; he should have watched his back. Too bad for him, but good for you.
You got around to face him. The moment his eyes fell on you; you knew he recognized you. His arm twitched, wanting probably to reach for his own gun but you shook your gun and pressed it a little harder against his head.
“Now come on, play nice.”
“What the fuck do you want?” He spat angrily, fuming that a woman managed to ambush him so easily. You bet, he was even angrier with himself for underestimating you, for being deceived with your sweet looks.
“Told you, let’s play a game. I ask you questions and if you play nice you stay alive. Easy right?” You would be lying if you said you weren’t enjoying the little game. You enjoyed making the strong men squirm.
He scoffed. “You won’t kill me.” And here he was underestimating you again.
You sighed, disappointed. Fine, if he wanted to play the tough guy. With a blink of an eye, you grabbed his arm and kicked his right knee making him fall on his knees. “Ah, men on their knees, always such a nice sight.” You smiled sweetly at him. “Now. I heard that your boss is working with the crows. Where can I find the contract?”
He looked at you. Really looked at you. You were a different person and he had finally realized it. “I don’t know what you’re talking about.”
You hovered over him and shook your head. “I really want to play nice but you’re making things unnecessary complicated.”
He spat at your feet in response.
“Rude. Sure you don’t want to answer?” You tried to give him another chance. “No?”
Because he was so concentrated on your gun, he didn’t notice you pulling out your knife, you stuck it right into his left thigh. He screamed and grabbed his thigh, cursing loudly.
“Now, let’s try again. Where can I find the contract?” You asked again, your voice much colder.
“I don’t know!” He wailed.
You applauded his attempt at lying to your face. He should have understood by now that you were ready to get your hands dirty to get your answers, but he still tried to resist.
Your phone vibrated in your pocket which made you pause. You took it out of your pocket to see Hyunjin’s name on the screen. As tempting as it was to ignore his call, you couldn’t, not after leaving him without a word at the party.
You sighed and looked down at the man. “Be a good boy and keep your mouth shut.” And then you answered your phone. “Hi darling!”
“Where the fuck are you, Y/N?” Hyunjin almost growled on the phone.
Yeah, he was pissed. “Somewhere. Busy.”
“Y/N.”
“I’m sorry. I should have texted you but I got carried away.” Which wasn’t far from the truth. The moment the plan formed in your head, you couldn’t really think about anything else. “And I didn’t warn you because I knew you wouldn’t agree.”
The man at your feet opened his mouth, wanting probably to scream and hope to get some help. You were faster; you put the gun into his mouth. He whimpered, eyes wide.
“Y/N.” Hyunjin’s voice sounded darker.
“I’m fine. Stop worrying.”
There was a silence on the other end and then he exhaled loudly. “And is the other person with you fine?”
Busted. You glared angrily at the man. “For at least another ten minutes, yes.”
You imagined Hyunjin ruffling his hair in frustration, torn between the wish to tell you to stop and something else.
“Be careful.” Was what he chose to say.
“Aw darling, you almost sound like you really care for me.” You grinned, delighted with his words.
Hyunjin hung up first. Satisfied, you turned your attention back on the bleeding man. “So? How about you end your misery? I was there when he signed the contract.”
“You’re not going to spare my life.” He managed to say. It wasn’t a question; he had realized by now that you weren’t a nice person.
“No. But if you play along I’ll make it painless.” You admitted.
He considered it for a moment. There was only the two of you, the gun still pointed at him and his thigh was bleeding. He could try to overpower you but the way you looked at him made him pause. There was no trace of the gentle woman he had seen before. No, your smile was cruel and eyes cold. The eyes of a killer.
He was fucked.
“They kept the contract. Boss was furious that they didn’t even get him a copy.”
You crouched down to his level, watching him closely. You needed to know if he wasn’t trying to lie to you. He wasn’t. He looked tired and paler. “They never play nice.”
He nodded, agreeing. “There’s something else. When he signed the contract, they showed him the list of clients he could sell to.”
“Let me guess,” You hummed, “Bunch of assholes he didn’t want to sell to?”
“Yes. They kept it too.”
“I see.” You straightened up and pointed your gun at his head once more. “Thank you for your help.” And shot.
***
You came straight home after dealing with the bodyguard, desperately needing a good shower to get rid of some blood on your hands and get rid of your bloodied t-shirt. But more importantly, you needed to plan now that you knew who had the contract. All your plans for the rest of the night vanished the moment you spotted Hyunjin, sitting on the floor against your door.
What the hell. You were going to kill Han Jisung for not minding his god-damn-business. There was no way Hyunjin found your address without his help. You didn’t want him to know where you lived. You didn’t want him to get even closer to you; it was too risky for both you and him.
You stared at him, forgetting how to breath. You didn’t expect to see him so soon and definitely not after you had killed someone. You didn’t want him to witness you in this state but there was no way you could hide now. So you stared, thinking about what you could do, what you would say. What you could say.
Hyunjin looked tired and worried. His hair a mess, you bet he kept ruffling his hair in frustration, wondering what exactly you were doing. Or maybe he was messing his hair because he knew exactly what you were up to and it scared him. But even like this, he looked insanely good. You’re insane, Y/N.
You exhaled and chuckled. “I’m surprise my neighbor didn’t call the cops.”
Easily, Hyunjin got back on his feet and waited for you to join him. “Oh don’t worry. The old lady did threaten to call them. But I charmed her.”
Of course, he did. Nobody could possibly resist him. And yet, you wondered how he managed this miracle. You knew Mrs. Kim; she was an old, cold lady, who loved her peace and didn’t appreciate strangers. In fact, she didn’t like many people, you included. Not that you minded.
“And how exactly did you charm her?”
“I told her that we fought and I was willing to stay at your door the whole night if it means you will forgive me. Turns out she’s a romantic. She wished me good luck.” Hyunjin admitted, a faint blush on his face.
You would have never guessed. But then again, you avoided the old woman as much as you could.
Hyunjin’s eyes roamed your face and then your body, silently checking for any injuries. You winced because he couldn’t miss the blood on your clothes. He closed the distance between the two of you and cupped your face, worry written all over his face. “Are you hurt?”
You should be annoyed. Annoyed that Jisung told him where you lived. Annoyed that he came here. Annoyed that he cared so much for you when you were half of the time a bitch to him. Annoyed how your heartbeat quickened at his touch. Annoyed how your insides melted. But you didn’t feel annoyance. No, you felt the butterflies in your stomach and the need to wrap yourself around him and let his warmth consume you.
“I’m fine.” You assured him, your throat suddenly dry.
Despite your answer, Hyunjin didn’t look fully convinced. You held your breath as his hands slowly slid from your face to your neck and then to your unzipped jacket. His frown only deepened at the sight of blood. Sensing what he was about to do, you grabbed his hands and forced him to stop, remembering too late that your hands weren’t very clean either. “It’s not my blood.”
“Are you sure?”
It appeased your heart to know that he wasn’t worried about what you did, only about you. A small smile crept across your face. “Yes. I was too fast for him.”
Hyunjin took you off guard; he pressed his forehead against yours, exhaling in relief. “Good.”
The reasonable thing to do would be to tell him to go home. The reasonable thing would be to put some distance between the two of you, but your body refused to move and your words got stuck in your throat. The little voice inside your head screamed at you to escape his warmth – you didn’t even try. No, you closed your eyes and reveled in the moment. It felt too nice. Too good. Girl, you’re fucked.
“Want to come in?”
***
You didn’t want to get used to the feeling of waking up beside a still sleeping Hyunjin. It went against your rules and compromised everything you worked for. And yet, as you watched him sleeping, a few strands of hair hiding his eyes, you barely cared. You hadn’t felt this calm, this peaceful in years. It disturbed you but it was also nice.
You reached out to touch his face, but Hyunjin grabbed your wrist and instead pulled you right in his arms, his grip strong around you. You squealed, surprised. And here you thought he was still sleeping. He tricked you.
“Were you pretending, Hwang?” You tried to sound annoyed to hide your own embarrassment.
Hyunjin held you a little tighter as he planted a kiss to the crown of your head. “Maybe. Maybe not.”
You huffed against his chest and pressed yourself a little more against him, wrapping a leg over him. Yeah, it was a nice change.
Hyunjin chuckled at your unusual behavior. “And here I thought you didn’t mind sharing a bed with me as long as I wasn’t a hugger.” He threw back your own words at you.
And he was damn right. You never liked huggers and yet you couldn’t deny that you were enjoying it with Hyunjin. To save your face, you tried to extract yourself from the safety of his arms. You barely made it before he pulled you back with even more strength and wrapped his limbs around you.
“No, no. Don’t even try. You’re stuck with me.” He warned you.
“Let me go, Hwang.” You tried again. But he didn’t let go. “Hyunjin.”
He hummed against you and brushed his lips against your skin, shutting you up pretty quickly. “Try calling me Hyunjin again and you won’t leave this bed at all.”
You were glad your face was hidden from his eyes, preventing him from seeing the light blush that formed on your face. He was a menace and was getting better at it with every moment he spent with you. You were in trouble.
***
By some kind of miracle, the two of you managed to get ready and leave on time. Hyunjin thought the two of you would get to the office together, but sadly for him you had other plans in mind and you couldn’t let him come with you.
“Wait, you’re not coming with me?” Hyunjin realized when you were finally ready to part from him.
“Yeah. I have few things to do.” You admitted, feeling a little nervous under his knowing gaze. Of course, he knew you were up to something again.
Hyunjin stayed close to you, watching you, thinking about what he should do. The reasonable thing to do, and especially because he was your partner, would to push you to tell him your plan. But Hyunjin knew better. He could try to force you but he wanted you to willingly include him in your plans, to show him that you trusted him.
“Does it involve you ending up with blood on your clothes?” He asked instead.
“No.” You said.
“And you won’t get hurt either right?”
Did your heart miss a beat at his genuine concern for your wellbeing? Absolutely. You cleared your throat and avoided his eyes; you didn’t need him to see the different emotions in your eyes.
“No. I’ll be fine.”
Hyunjin gently grabbed your face and brushed his lips against yours. “No more killing, Y/N.” He insisted.
You opened your mouth to protest but he hurried to add. “For the week.”
You shook your head, chuckling to yourself. “Careful, Hwang. You’re becoming like me.”
***
You arrived at the restaurant shortly after. Despite your intentions, you hesitated at the entrance. You easily spotted the person you were looking for through the window; your cousin looked just the same. Still cheerful, still loud and just like every time you saw him, he was surrounded by his friends. You felt a pang in your heart. You used to love spending time with him, he was the only family that still mattered to you, the only you cared about. You didn’t want to involve him in your plan, but he was the safest choice.
You took a deep breath and pushed the door. You walked in as if you owned the place. A small smile towards the waiter and then, you walked straight to your cousin’s table. He was too busy telling a story, he didn’t notice you until it was too late. The moment his eyes locked with yours, a huge grin spread on your lips.
“Hi, sweet boy.” You plopped on the empty chair beside him. “Hello boys.”
A hush fell over the table; all they did was stare at you.
“Well look at that. Isn’t it your sweet little cousin?” One of his friend beamed in delight and mischief. Beomgyu was still this mischievous kid that followed your cousin. You could scowl at him all you wanted, he never cared which you couldn’t help but appreciate.
“It has been a while kiddo.” You leaned closer to him and nudged his arm playfully. “Still a troublemaker?”
“Look who’s talking.” He teased back. “Hey, Yeonjun, when was the last time you saw your cousin?”
You rolled your eyes in response. It wasn’t even that long. Maybe two or three months ago. At best.
“Six months ago.” Yeonjun answered, tapping his fingers on the table, unamused.
Oops. So maybe you got carried away with your work and forgot to visit him. You didn’t look so smug anymore. “It can’t be that long!” But it probably was. “I’m sorry.” You raised your hands in defense. “I’m a bad cousin but you already knew that.”
You weren’t really bad cousin. You knew that. And so did Yeonjun. When he needed you the most, you were there. When he finally found the courage to put his past behind him, you were delighted to help him to have a fresh start.
Yeonjun sighed and just when you thought he would make it harder than it had to be, he threw a fry right at you, an devilish grin on his face.
You gasped loudly. “Asshole!”
“Love you too, pumpkin.” He blew you a kiss.
“Ugh not this nickname.” You groaned but even if you didn’t like it, your inside warmed at his words. You shouldn’t have stayed away for so long.
“Are we about to start a food fight?” Beomgyu asked, already grabbing a tomato, ready to aim.
“No!” You both answered. Yeonjun probably because he didn’t want to be banned from this restaurant and you because you didn’t want to dirty your clothes.
“What are you doing here, Y/N?” Yeonjun leaned a little closer.
“What do you mean?” You feigned innocence. “I miss my cousin.”
Yeonjun rolled his eyes at your bad acting. “As if.”
You did miss him, but he was right, you weren’t here because of that. “Fine. I need your help.”
He cocked a brow, a little intrigued. Usually, it was the other way around and it made him curious. “I’m listening.”
“I need you to steal a very important contract from your old daddy.”
He wasn’t supposed to follow you. He should have headed straight to work and forget about the different plans that were probably forming in your head. But could someone blame him for worrying? He knew how reckless you were and no matter how good you were at your work, one day it could fireback. So instead of doing his own job, he followed you as discretely as possible, knowing that if you ever caught him, you would be pissed.
Out of all the places he expected you to go, a restaurant wasn’t one of them. He waited and watched from across the street. You looked comfortable with the group of men, smiling and laughing. A sight he still wasn’t used to see but couldn’t deny worked against him. Your smile warmed him and his heart beat a little faster, imagining it was for him. It dawned on him that your smile meant a lot to him and if he could, he would keep it only for himself. If he could, he would keep you for himself.
Seeing you safe and sound should have been enough for him to leave and go back to his business. But did he? No. He stood rooted to the spot, staring at you.
Hyunjin was not a jealous person. Or insecure. At least, he thought he wasn’t. But apparently, when it came to you, everything changed. The moment he saw one of the men lean into you and wrap his arms around you, Hyunjin couldn’t ignore the green monster inside him. He wanted to talk to the two of you and yank you away from the man. He wanted to ask you the difficult questions. But he did none of that. Because there was one thing he didn’t want: fight with you.
Or maybe he was just a coward.
***
Hyunjin came back to his office feeling suddenly tired but also needing a distraction. He thought working on his other case would distract him from thoughts of you, from the image of another man holding you. It was a useless attempt when you lived rent free in his head.
“Fuck.” He cursed and gripped his pen so tightly he broke it in two.
“Someone is in a mood.” Jisung’s cheerful voice interrupted his trail of thoughts.
Hyunjin blinked in confusion, his eyes on his broken pen. He was a mess and he bet it was written all over his face. He tried to compose himself as Jisung approached, but failed.
“Dude, you look miserable.” Jisung commented and plopped on a chair, making himself comfortable.
For once, Hyunjin didn’t feel like talking to his friend, knowing damn well he would seek information out of him, knowing he would read right through him. “What are you doing here, Ji?”
“I was bored.” Jisung shrugged as if it was nothing which earnt him a scowl from Hyunjin, ready to fight him. Jisung raised his hands in defense. “Fine. Stop looking at me like that. You’re becoming like her.”
But his scowl only deepened at the mention of you.
Jisung sighed in defeat. “Fine. I saw you earlier, you looked pissed as hell. I tried calling for you a few times – you either didn’t hear me or ignored me on purpose.”
“And you don’t like being ignored.” Hyunjin commented.
“That,” Jisung agreed with a nod, “And I was worried too.”
Hyunjin considered not telling him what was bothering him but he quickly figured that if he couldn’t openly tell you that he was jealous, he could at least share it with Jisung. Hyunjin ruffled his hair in frustration and groaned. “I followed her this morning and saw her with a bunch of men.”
Jisung leaned closer, his attention fully on him, a tiny smirk on his face that irked Hyunjin. “Nothing unusual for the moment.”
“She looked really close with one of them. I-“
“Damn man, you’re so whipped.” Jisung couldn’t hold back.
“Am not.” Hyunjin protested in vain. He stared at Jisung for a moment, sensing that he had lied not only to his friend but also to himself. Hyunjin buried his face in his hands to stifle another groan. “I don’t know what I’m doing.”
Jisung chuckled at his misery. “Well, a piece of advice; you should talk to her and clear the air.”
“You know her better than me.” Hyunjin reminded him. “Do you really think she will take it well?”
Jisung considered his question for a moment. “Probably not.”
***
9pm.
On a normal day, Hyunjin would have been already back at his place, relaxing with some food and a TV show. Tonight, however, he dreaded the moment he would have to go back home and found himself stuck with thoughts he wanted to avoid. But if Hyunjin thought staying at work would save him from you, he was wrong.
The door to his office was pushed, the sound making him realize that he wasn’t alone on the floor as he initially thought. His eyes widened in shock to see you standing by the door. He gulped nervously as he eyed you from head to toe. Hyunjin didn’t think you could look any better but you proved him wrong again. You wore different clothes from this morning; a leather skirt along with a white blouse. Hair tied in a ponytail, red lips. Sexy, confident and delighted with his reaction. He quickly averted his eyes, refusing to let you see how affected he was with just your presence.
Foolish of him to think it would stop you.
Hyunjin heard your light steps getting closer to him. He tried to pretend you weren’t here but as you got closer, so did your sweet, intoxicating scent. He watched from the corner of his eyes as you sat on his desk, your skirt hiking in the process. He shouldn’t be staring at your lovely legs but the temptation was too strong and he was just too weak when it came to you. Hyunjin closed his eyes and took a deep breath to compose himself.
“What’s wrong, Hwang?” You asked and gently grabbed his chin, forcing him to face you.
Such a simple touch and yet it sent shivers down his spine. A simple touch that set his body on fire. “Nothing.” But maybe, Hyunjin was a little stubborn too. “I’m just tired.”
You scoffed at his blatant lie. “You’re a terrible liar. Try again.”
Hyunjin resisted. “What are you doing here, Y/N?”
“Why not?” You asked instead. “You’re my partner.”
‘Am I only that?’ he wanted to ask instead but no words left his mouth. He simply stared back at you, watching as a frown formed on your face at his silence and refusal to cooperate. It only proved you that there was something wrong with him.
Hyunjin easily freed himself from your grip and slumped further into his chair. “I’m sure you have better things to do, Y/N.” Maybe pushing you away wasn’t his brightest idea, but Hyunjin wasn’t sure he would be able to control himself and to hide his emotions. He didn’t want you to see just how affected he was.
“You’re right.” You said and jumped from his desk. For once, you didn’t want to push his limits. You didn’t want to fight. “I should probably go back to people who actually miss me.”
The moment you turned your back to leave, Hyunjin saw again the image of you, happy, with a man other than him and he didn’t like it. Before you could take another step, Hyunjin bolted from his chair and grabbed your arm. He spun you in his arms and claimed your mouth, any protests swallowed by his mouth.
There was absolutely no way, he could let you leave.
Contrary to what he thought you would do; you didn’t try to push him away. No, he felt you smiling against his lips, knowing you had win this game so damn easily. It should alarm him, but he didn’t find it in him to care. Not when you wrapped your arms around his neck, pulling him even closer to your body. Not when you fought him just as hardly for dominance.
Hyunjin lifted you from the floor, bringing you back on top of his desk. He stood between your legs, grinding against you. His whole body was begging him to do something, to taste you, to devour you. You were his drug and he was more than eager to indulge in his addiction.
“And here I thought you wanted me to leave, Hwang.” You managed to say, wanting to sound smug, but instead your voice came out breathy.
Hyunjin refused to answer to your provocation. Instead, he hiked your skirt and slid his hand between your legs, humming in satisfaction. You were soaked and he barely touched you. “How come you’re already this wet, darling?”
Hyunjin slipped two fingers inside you with ease, teasing. So wet. So warm. So perfect. And only for him.
You bit on your lips to prevent a moan from escaping. Futile attempt. “Mmmh, maybe because I was thinking about you.”
Hyunjin smiled lazily. “Is that so?” He pulled out his fingers and brought them to his lips, to have a taste. His drug. “Are you hoping to get fucked tonight, Y/N?”
Judging by the glint in his eyes, you guessed that trying to play coy would get you nowhere. “Yes.” You admitted. Because truth was, you couldn’t get enough of him too.
Hyunjin’s smile stretched wider. His hands left your body to unzip his pants, showing you your prize. His pretty cock. Hard and needy. “And who am I to deny you?”
You licked your lips in hunger and anticipation, your body remembering how nice he felt. How nice his cock could stretch you.
Hyunjin pushed your legs further apart and filled you to the hilt with one strong push. You threw your head back as a loud and needy moan escaped your lips. Hyunjin groaned as you clenched without thinking around him.
“Fuck, Y/N.” He growled and slowly pulled out until just the tip of his cock was inside of you.
“Don’t hold back.” You pleaded. You wanted him to show you no mercy. To ruin you completely. To leave you begging, drooling, unable to do anything except beg for his cock.
Hyunjin hovered over you and planted a sweet kiss. The last one before he let go. He thrust back in. Strong. Deep. Every thrust harder than the last.
You thrashed under him, trying to grab at anything to keep you grounded.
Pointless.
Your eyes rolled in the back of your head at the intensity. But his hand closed around your neck, forcing you to keep your eyes open. Forcing you to look him in the eyes as he fucked you with intensity, bringing you closer to your sweet release. So close you could taste it. You could feel it.
“Please, Hyunjin,” You begged, tears pricking your eyes. Your whole body was burning, shaking, begging for release. “I’m so close.”
Hyunjin smirked, “I love when you beg, Y/N.”
Just when you thought you would explode, Hyunjin slowed down. He did once. Twice. By the third time you writhed and cried. You grabbed his arms, scratching him in retribution but it only made him grin.
“Say what you need.”
“Hyunjin, I can’t. Please.” You pleaded, too desperate for relief.
And he complied. He fucked you with force, hitting the sweet spot inside you that made your toes curl. You tried to keep your eyes open, but you couldn’t. Not when your orgasm hit you, waves of pleasures. Your body shook, unable to stop as Hyunjin kept fucking you.
Hyunjin came with a shudder before collapsing on top of you, his head pressed to your breasts. You stayed in silence. The only sound in the room were your pants and the loud beating of your hearts.
“Come to my place?” You found your voice and yet you didn’t sound like yourself. Too vulnerable.
Hyunjin peeked at you, his hair sticking to his face. “Round two?”
***
You were full of surprises.
Hyunjin realized as he stood in the middle of your living room that he should definitely stop making assumptions about you. He came to terms that despite the time the two of you had spent together there were still so many layers of your personality, many things about your life that he didn’t know but was more than eager to find out.
Who would have guessed that you enjoyed cooking? It seemed so out of character. He thought your hobbies would definitely revolve around knives and different kind of weapons. And maybe a shopping addict because your outfits always looked on point. And yet when he glanced over his shoulder and saw you cooking and humming to yourself, it seemed so natural. You had tied your hair in a messy bun and had changed into more comfortable clothes; grey sweatpants and an oversized white t-shirt. You looked so homey, so comfortable, Hyunjin had to fight the urge to join you and backhug you.
He shook off the image of you and him for the sake of his sanity and instead took his time to observe your place. Last night, his attention was fully on you, he barely noticed the details. Hyunjin expected to see a place cold, without personality and with only few furniture because you seemed like someone who just didn’t have time to linger for long in one place.
Boy wrong he was. Warm colors, fluffy blankets and pillows spread all over the couch and on a single chair. Dozens of shelves with books occupied two walls. Pictures all over the main wall in the living room. So many pictures. Hyunjin walked to the wall, his hands in his pockets. Pictures that showed you at different stages of your life. On some you looked like a high-schooler, on some a little older, and always surrounded by people. You looked happy, a big smile plastered on your face on every pictures and sometimes you were making silly faces. On one picture he recognized Chris; he had one arm around your shoulders, dimples on full display and another girl with the two of you. But what got his full attention was the picture of you and the man he recognized from earlier. You were on his back, laughing.
“Ah. You found my wall of memories.” You joined him and looked fondly at the pictures.
“You look different.” Hyunjin admitted without looking at you. You looked free, happy and so warm. A side of you he saw glimpses from time to time but he wondered what it would be like if you were always like this.
You hummed in response.
“Who are they?” Hyunjin asked when really all he wanted to ask was: who is this guy?
“Friends. Some I met years ago and some during my missions.”
“And him?” Hyunjin ended up pointing at the mysterious guy. Was he another of your friends? He looked too comfortable with you, too touchy, too close.
Your face softened at the picture. “My cousin and the only family left. He’s a pain in my ass but I love him.”
Did Hyunjin feel a little dumb for believing he was something more? Yeah. But was he also relieved? Hell yes. He almost wept in relief. He didn’t dare to look at you, scared you would see the emotions written all over his face. But if he thought he could hide from you, he was once more wrong. You saw how tensed he was before he found out the identity of the guy and you didn’t forget his behaviour in his office.
You drew nearer, watching him. “Tell me, Hwang,” You wrapped your arms around his neck and gently tug at his hair. “Did you think he was my man?” You brushed your lips against his, smiling against him. “You’re a terrible spy by the way.”
Fuck my life. Hyunjin should have known that his spying skill weren’t on par with yours but he still thought he was being discrete. Or maybe he was too caught up in his head when he saw you with your cousin and simply didn’t hide well enough.
You bit on his lower lip making him growl. “Were you jealous?”
Hyunjin opened his mouth to protest but closed it as quickly. Who was he kidding? He was jealous and you both knew it.
You laughed fondly and pecked his lips once more before going back to the kitchen without a word.
Jisung was right. He was completely and utterly whipped for you.
***
When Namjoon asked to see him, Hyunjin almost expected another meeting with you. Yet, this time around he was the only one to come. Was it an ominous sign? Maybe but Hyunjin refused to think about it. The past week was incredible. It seemed that the universe was finally smiling at him. Or maybe he got lucky. Either way, he was thriving.
A lead in his case. Many nights tangled up in your sheets. Many stolen kisses. Many giggles. Everything to be happy.
“Should I worry?” Namjoon asked as he eyed him. “You look too happy.” He added seeing his confused face.
Hyunjin bit the inside of his cheek to hold back his smile and shook his head.
Namjoon quirked a brow but didn’t comment. He pushed some papers instead towards him. Hyunjin leaned closer and took a look. He stiffened as he saw the names mentioned on the papers.
“What the,” Hyunjin stopped himself on time. His eyes darted back and forth between what clearly was the contract between the crows and Park Minjun. “How?” But Hyunjin had a feeling, he already knew how. The image of you and blood on your clothes popped in his mind. It had to be you.
“Y/N brought it yesterday. Along with the list of people the crows wanted to sell the weapons too.” Namjoon explained and relaxed in his seat. “I have everything I need for the next step. Which also means the two of you don’t need to work together anymore.”
Hyunjin’s stomach sank at his words. Of course, it was bound to happen sooner or later and it shouldn’t worry him so much now that he was spending more time with you without even talking about work. But then, he was with you last night, you could have told him. But you didn’t. Why?
Namjoon observed him in silence. He expected Hyunjin to be happy to finally be free of you and your temper, but he guessed easily he was wrong. “You seem disappointed.”
“I-“ Hyunjin began and stopped himself. Disappointed was an understatement but he couldn’t tell him that. Instead, he cleared his throat and straightened his back. “No, I’m good.”
“Is that so?” Namjoon wasn’t convinced but didn’t insist, it wasn’t his business. “But in case you’re wondering, Y/N asked for few days off. You won’t see her around.”
***
Hyunjin had a bad feeling that had everything to do with the damn contract you had brought to Namjoon. You kept doing things on your own, things that clearly were dangerous if not impossible to accomplish. And yet, you somehow managed to pull it off. Did you get help? Did you somehow manage to infiltrate the crows? Or maybe you had someone inside who was willing to take a huge risk for you. There were so many possible theories in his mind. One thing was sure, he needed to make sure you weren’t in trouble.
Like any normal person, Hyunjin tried calling you. Once, twice. Ten times and with no result. It was his first clue that something he didn’t know about was going on. Then, he called Jisung. He didn’t want to overstep some boundaries but he couldn’t ignore how his worries were consuming him from inside.
Thankfully, Jisung didn’t send him straight to his voicemail. “Whatever it is, I can’t help you.” As if Jisung knew from the start why he was calling.
Hyunjin’s nostrils flared at his words. “Where is she?”
“Who?”
“My mother.” Hyunjin snapped. It wasn’t in his character to snap at people and especially not at his friends but his patience was running thin. “Y/N. Who else?”
“No clue, why?”
Hyunjin took a deep breath, clenched his fist and counted to ten. Why did it need to be so damn complicated? “Jisung. You’re a terrible liar. You have tabs on everyone. Even Namjoon. So tell me, where is she?”
Jisung gasped loudly, offended that he would use his little secret against him. “I do-“
“Please.” Hyunjin cut him. “I just need to make sure she’s okay.”
“I promise you she’s more than okay.” Jisung tried to appease him.
“Jisung.”
“You can’t call me every time you need help with her! I’m also her friend and it sucks to be stuck between you two.”
Hyunjin winced at his words that felt like a slap. Jisung was right. And Hyunjin did feel bad about it. Except, when it came to you, he became a selfish bastard. “And I’m sorry for that. But please, help me out.”
“She’s going to have my head.” Jisung grumbled more to himself than to Hyunjin, but despite his words, Hyunjin heard him doing his little magic trick on his computer.
***
Getting inside a bar, unnoticed, in the middle of the day was harder than Hyunjin had imagined. And just maybe he had overestimated his spying skills. Again. The first person to notice him was the barman; he stared at him with a quirked brow, clearly curious with Hyunjin’s little game. Hyunjin expected him to say something and maybe call the security– he didn’t. He shrugged as if he didn’t care, as if it wasn’t his business.
Hyunjin was not complaining with his little luck.
“I’m not having this conversation with you.” Hyunjin recognized your voice instantly. He found you at the other side of the room, heading to the hall along with two other men. And boy you looked pissed. He didn’t know what these men did to offend you, but he bet they were about to spend a very bad time with you.
Any other day, Hyunjin would have felt sympathy for these poor men, but then, Hyunjin really looked at them. One face, he was familiar with. A man he recognized from an old case; he had been a suspect but because of lack of proof he was still a free man. Why are you with him, Y/N?
Curiosity got the best of him; Hyunjin followed you, trying not to make any sound.
“He’s furious.” The second man commented, sounding nervous as he spoke.
“I don’t see how it’s my problem.” You completely disregarded his worries.
“Y/N, you don’t understand. He’s ready to shoot us all if we don’t confess-“ He tried again but you raised your hand, without even looking at him, and it was enough to shut him up.
Hyunjin had to admit it; he was impressed with how your whole body radiated with authority and power. They obeyed you as if they were scared of what you could possibly do to them if they utter one more wrong word.
“And I think,” A voice echoed right from behind Hyunjin. He realized too late that while he thought he was being discrete, someone else had spotted him and had a gun pointed right at his head. Shit.
“You should have this conversation somewhere else.” The man behind him finished.
You glanced over your shoulder. Instead of freezing on the spot or calling for him, you simply stared blankly at them. For once, Hyunjin couldn’t read you, couldn’t tell how you felt about seeing him here. And maybe it worried him a little. Whatever you were doing, he wondered if it was on Namjoon’s behalf. Would you compromise your mission to help him out?
“Walk.” The man behind him gave him a nudge, forcing Hyunjin to get closer to you.
Hyunjin tried to keep his cool, tried not to show how he truly felt but his heart was beating fast and loud inside his chest.
Hyunjin was shoved inside a room. He barely had time to react and to steady himself that a man punched him in the stomach. He stumbled and cursed under his breath. Maybe following you wasn’t his brightest idea after all. Despite the pain, he managed to have a proper look at you. To others, you looked cold, but he saw how your body was tense, your fists clenched. You weren’t indifferent after all and this small fact comforted him.
“What should we do with him?” One of them asked, eying you as if you were the one to decide.
“We should kill him.” Another suggested as he pointed at Hyunjin with his gun. Someone was eager to get rid of him. Hyunjin would be lying if he said he wasn’t at least a little bit worried for his safety. If you didn’t intervene, he would have to fight his way out.
Too concentrated on you, Hyunjin didn’t pay any attention to the other three men. He should have. One of them closed the distance between them and drove his knee into the back of Hyunjin’s, forcing him to the ground. Hyunjin groaned, his instincts wanting him to fight back – he didn’t. No, Hyunjin’s whole attention was only on you.
“Who sent you?” One of them crunched to his level but despite his closeness, Hyunjin’s eye were still on you. That, didn’t go unnoticed. The man punched his face, not liking Hyunjin’s behavior. “I asked you a question.”
“What make you think someone sent me?” Hyunjin finally answered but still was not looking at him. He was watching you. And only you. He didn’t want to miss any flinch, any twitch of your eyes, every twitch in your jaw. He wanted to see how you reacted to the violence. See if you cared. “Have you seen this lady?” Hyunjin pointed at you. “What make you think that I’m not here because of her? Because she had me completely bewitched?”
The man scoffed and straightened up. “This bastard is crazy.”
The tension in the room was so thick you could cut it with a knife. Nobody talked. Hyunjin because there was nothing left to say. You, because you were staring back at him. As for the men, they felt there was something going on but couldn’t understand it.
“Leave us.” You ordered without looking at the men.
“Y/N. You don’t have time. Boss wants to see you.” One of them reminded you.
The only sign of your annoyance was your clenched jaw but you still weren’t looking at them.
“Don’t make me repeat myself.” You warned them.
But they weren’t listening to you. Or maybe they didn’t know you well enough not to push you. “Let us deal with him.”
A knife flew straight to the man’s shoulder making him cry out in pain and stumble.
“I’ll deal with him and then I’ll meet with boss.” You assured them with one deadly glare. “Now, get lost.”
And this time, they did.
Hyunjin had hoped you would drop your act with their absence, that you would explain yourself – except you didn’t. You stared at him with annoyance and already another knife in your hand.
Hyunjin got back on his feet. He wished he could come closer to you, could wrap his arms around you and make sure that everything was fine. But for once, he listened to the little voice in his head, telling him to stay alert. It wasn’t over yet.
“They respect you.” He commented.
You shrugged and your eyes darted on your knife. “They do. Most of the time.”
“Who are they, Y/N?” Hyunjin wasn’t sure he wanted the answer to his question.
“Idiots working for the crows.”
Hyunjin’s breath hitched in his throat. “And their boss wants to see you.”
You tuck the knife back in your boot and took a deep breath. The situation couldn’t get any worse, but it somehow did. “Yes.”
There was one question that Hyunjin should be asking. One question that was right on the tip of his tongue and yet, he couldn’t do it. Asking it would complicate things.
“Ask it, Hyunjin.” As you grew nearer, Hyunjin’s heart beat faster. The way you looked at him, the way your body moved – it screamed danger. You halted right before him. Gently, you stroked his cheek.
Hyunjin didn’t want to ask because now he knew, the moment you would give him your answer; his bubble of happiness would burst for good. He did it anyway. “Are you working for the crows?”
Please, say no.
“Yes.”
Hyunjin barely had time to hear your answer. To understand it. Everything turned black.
Rage nearly consumed you.
Hyunjin shouldn’t have been here. He shouldn’t have been seen by these idiots. The moment Jun had pointed his gun at Hyunjin, you had to fight the need to step in and damn the consequences. But then, when Doyun forced Hyunjin on his knees, the urge to hurt someone got so strong, you weren’t sure what compelled you to keep your composure. From outside you had looked indifferent, cold, but inside? You were screaming and burning with the urge to kill and get Hyunjin far from this damn place.
You were late and judging by how anxious the guys were, you could only imagine in what kind of mood the boss was. But you didn’t care. Not when another man occupied all your thoughts.
You pulled your phone from your pocket and dialed Jisung’s number. You prayed for his own good that he wouldn’t make you wait and answer the god damn phone. There was only one, insufferable person, who could have told Hyunjin where you were.
He answered. “Listen,” Jisung tried but you didn’t let him talk.
“Shut up! You little piece of shit!” You yelled, your grip on your phone was so strong, you wouldn’t be surprised if it cracked. “What were you thinking, Jisung?”
Jisung sighed on the other side. He had been your friend long enough to know that whatever excuses he would try to give you, in this state, you wouldn’t listen. You wouldn’t care. “Hello to you too, sunshine.” He chose to say instead.
He had a dead wish. “Don’t.” you warned him with a growl.
“Y/N…”
“What were you thinking?” You repeated again.
There was a loud noise from Jisung’s side, as if he had either pushed something or maybe smashed it. “He was worried, ok? What were you expecting me to tell him?”
“Anything! What if I was with my uncle?” You refused to imagine what could have possibly happened but your brain still did it. You closed your eyes, wanting to erase the image from your mind but it wouldn’t go. You kept seeing Hyunjin and the damn gun.
Your hand shook and at any moment you could let go of your phone. “He would have killed him on the spot, Ji. No question asked.”
Jisung didn’t say anything for a moment, proceeding your words. “And it bothers you?”
“Of course, it does!” The moment those words left your mouth, you realized two things: one, how true they sounded and two, you regretted admitting it to Jisung out of all people. You adored your friend, but he was noisy and would make sure to remind you every day your confession.
“Oh Y/N,” Jisung cooed, forgetting for a second that you were in a sour mood. “Do you actually like Hyunjin?”
Yes. But you held back those words. He didn’t need to know it. “You’re next on my shit list.” And you hung up.
He wasn’t really on your list. Would probably never be, but you didn’t mind him worrying over it.
You stared at your phone for a moment, considering your next step. The reasonable thing to do would go and meet with the boss as it was expected of you but one glance at the door behind you and your resolution wavered. You couldn’t leave Hyunjin unattended. You couldn’t let someone find him and hurt him.
Fuck it.
You opened your conversation with Chris and quickly texted him.
‘I need your help.’
***
Your uncle was indeed incredibly pissed. Not that you expected anything less and not that you could blame him. After all, he had been working on his little project for a year, making sure that everybody was on board with his plan. Making sure to drive Park Minjun in a corner, leaving him with no choice but beg for his help. And what help. A shitty contract. The control of his business in exchange for safety. If only he knew that his current situation was because of him.
Lee Beomseok, your uncle, and the boss of the crows. A man known for his business, for his methods, for his cruelty and zero bullshit policy. He was respected and feared in the underground world. Sometimes, you were impressed with his accomplishment. But most of the times, you wanted to see his world burn.
“Confess!” He yelled at the poor, shaking man at his feet. So maybe Jun wasn’t exaggerating when he said your uncle had finally lost it and started killing every suspect, even if it meant killing his own men.
“Please.” The man begged, his shaking only intensifying as your uncle pressed the gun harder to his head. “It’s not me. I would ne-“ But your uncle didn’t give a damn about his talk of loyalty. He shot the poor man in the head.
You whistled, leaning against the wall with your arms crossed over your chest, a look of indifference on your face. “Someone is in a mood.”
You didn’t think his face could get any angrier but it did. The veins in his neck were showing, his face red. “Leave us!” he barked.
Nobody protested, they scurried away in fright.
Your uncle stared at you, his breath shallow. He kept clenching and unclenching his fists, probably trying to calm himself down. You weren’t one of his men, his outbursts didn’t faze you. Not anymore. You weren’t ten anymore and he knew it.
“You were supposed to lead them astray.” He said after a moment of silence. He walked to his chair and took seat.
“I did.” You reminded him without bothering to look at him, instead you checked your nails, knowing damn well that your lack of reaction would only fuel his anger. Maybe it amused you a little to see him in this state, his composure long forgotten.
“Y/N.” He warned you.
“What?” You sighed and looked at him, “It’s not my fault if someone gave them your stupid contract and the list. How did you even manage to lose it?” Were you enjoying yourself reminding him his own failures? Absolutely.
You noticed how his left eye twitched at your words, you bet he wanted to grab his gun and shot you on the spot – he wouldn’t. After years of working for him, you knew he valued you too much to kill you.
He slumped further into his chair. “I’m still looking for the fucker who dared to betray me.”
You pushed yourself of the wall and took seat. “Where did you keep it?”
He looked at you, annoyed. “Where do you think?”
“Your safe then. Not many people know where you hide it.” You noted, “Maybe, instead of shooting all your poor men, you should look into your closest circle.” Not that he would find the traitor among them but you wouldn’t mind seeing him kill some of his trusted men.
He considered your advice for a moment and nodded his head. “When I find the traitor, I’ll make him pay his mistake.” He promised.
Except he would never find the traitor. For two simple reasons. One, he underestimated his own son too much and two you made sure while Yeonjun was helping you to steal from his old daddy, Jisung erased all traces of him ever being present in this place.
“Do you need my help?”
Your uncle shook his head. “No. I need you to take care of some business partners who became too bold.”
Of course, the answer to all his problems was always to kill.
“How should I deal with them?”
“Do what you do best.”
A small smile spread on your face. His order was clear. But there was something else you were better at. He just didn’t know it yet.
Hyunjin woke up with his head killing him. It took him a moment to force his eyes to open. He tried to straighten himself in the bed, only to groan in pain. Fuck my life. He palmed his forehead, trying to sooth the pain.
It took him another five minutes to notice his surroundings.
A room. A very unfamiliar room. And then everything flashed through his mind.
The bar. You. The crows. You. Him almost dying because he cared too much. Him being an idiot. You. A damn spy right under their noses.
Fuck. Fuck. Fuck.
His head was no longer the only thing that hurt. His chest. His heart clenching so tightly, he thought he could die. Hyunjin couldn’t breathe properly with all the thoughts and images running wild in his head. And yet, with his panic came one realization.
He was still alive.
Hyunjin forced his breath to slow down and had a proper look at his surroundings. It was clear to him that he was no longer in the bar. The room was too nice and looked to expensive. Had he been taken prisoner?
Hyunjin climbed off the bed and slowly approached the door, expecting that any second someone would pop out of nowhere and attack him and finish the job.
None of that happened.
He tried the door and surprisingly it was unlocked which left Hyunjin even more confused. Was he not a prisoner? Why would they let him roam free? With this thought on mind, he left his room, trying not to make any sound until he was certain that he wasn’t in danger.
Hyunjin’s confusion grew with every step he took. The place he was being held in was really too nice and looked expensive. He quickly realized it wasn’t a house but a damn penthouse. Would the crows keep him in a place like this? He doubted.
Instead of finding a stranger or you, Hyunjin found Chris on his phone, wearing comfortable clothes. That was not how he expected things to turn out.
“Oh. Good, you’re awake.” Chris offered him a comforting smile. “How’s your head?”
Hyunjin opened his mouth and closed it right away. He didn’t know what to say, what to ask. Nothing made sense anymore. He went for the easy answer, “I’ll survive.”
Chris hummed. “She didn’t need to smash your head so hard. But then again, it’s Y/N we’re talking about.”
“Why am I alive?” Hyunjin asked. It was the question that had been plaguing his mind the most.
Chris looked confused for a second. He cocked his brow, “Why shouldn’t you be?”
Because you had betrayed them all. Because while Hyunjin was slowly falling in love, you were only using him as a distraction and a means to an end. And yet, despite your harsh words, he was alive and safe. It bothered him and left him with even more questions.
“Because none of it was real.” Hyunjin finally admitted.
Chris got back on his feet and slowly approached him. “You’re alive because most of it was real.”
Hyunjin wanted to protest but Chris was right. He was alive which had to mean something. “You knew.” He said instead.
“Which part exactly?”
“That I couldn’t be her husband. And that she’s working for the crows.” The first time Hyunjin had met Chris, he had thought the man was suspicious because there was something going on between him and you. But maybe, he was wrong. Maybe, it had everything to do with Chris knowing exactly who you were.
“I had my suspicions for the husband part. But honestly, knowing Y/N, I wouldn’t be completely surprised either. As for the last part.” Chris paused and for a second it seemed to Hyunjin that he was somewhere else, lost in a memory. But then, his smile widened, his dimples showing up. “Yes. I wouldn’t have met her otherwise. She saved my ass.”
Chris put his hand on Hyunjin’s shoulder and gave it a strong yet comforting squeeze. “I think you know by now that our little Y/N is a little crazy and dangerous. She has been working her ass off to get what she wants. She was ready to sacrifice everything and everybody in exchange for her revenge. But not you.”
It was obvious by now that Chris knew everything about you. It would have bothered him another time, but now it comforted him more than he was willing to admit. Your betrayal still left him confused and hurt, but he found solace in his words.
Chris’s eyes softened while observing him. “She asked me to get you out and keep you safe for a while. But I figured you’d need some company, so I called for back-ups. They should arrive shortly.”
****
When Chris mentioned back-ups, Hyunjin didn’t think much of it, mainly because he had no clue who could help him out. Turns out, Chris knew exactly who Hyunjin needed to see. How he knew Jisung, Hyunjin could guess. But Namjoon? That was a whole new mystery for him to figure out.
“Dude, you look like shit.” Jisung commented and playfully patted his cheeks.
Hyunjin swatted his hands away from his face. He should probably feel concerned that Jisung kept telling him how bad he looked, but he was too tired and not in the mood for his playfulness. “Oh, fuck you.”
If he thought Jisung would be offended, he was wrong. Jisung chuckled and glanced at Chris, sharing a knowing look. “Sounds a lot like her.”
Namjoon sighed. “I think I need a drink. Or two.” As if Chris had sensed his need, he brought him a glass of what looked like whiskey and a second one for himself. “Thank you. Did you hear from her?”
Chris shook his head as he took a sip. “Not since I confirmed her I retrieved Hyunjin from the bar.”
While they talked, Hyunjin listened and watched. They all seemed so relaxed, unbothered and friendly with each other. And Hyunjin just couldn’t understand why. He never would have guessed that Jisung and Namjoon would actually meet outside of work. Scratch that, he wasn’t even aware they talked, despite Namjoon being their boss.
Sensing Hyunjin’s eyes on him, Namjoon stopped talking and instead approached him. “I have something for you.” He took out his phone and shoved it into his hands. “It’s all the information I have on Y/N.”
Hyunjin hesitated for only a second. Or maybe two. He started reading, surprised Namjoon had so much on her. After his encounter with you, Hyunjin didn’t know what to expect but every word he read about you made his heart clench painfully. A happy family torn apart by a terrible accident which left you an orphan at such young age.
“Lee Beomseok is her uncle. He took her in after her parents’ death.” Namjoon stopped his reading. “Instead of giving her a loving family, he raised her to become a killer. His personal weapon.”
No wonder they respected and feared her so much.
“He made sure she was the best at everything. And she is.” Namjoon continued, “But despite knowing how clever she was, he underestimated her.”
Hyunjin could barely imagine what life was for you. You were just a child, grieving, and yet forced to become something that was not in your nature. Hyunjin’s heart ached for your lost childhood, for the little girl turned into a killer for someone’s greediness.
“What changed?” Hyunjin asked. They hadn’t confirmed him that you weren’t a villain in the story, but it was implied.
“She found out he killed her parents.” Chris was the one to answer his question.
“What?” Hyunjin couldn’t believe it.
Namjoon nodded, confirming Chris’s words. “Being the closest to him, she could have easily killed him. But Y/N plays the long game. When he asked her to infiltrate our ranks, she saw it as an opportunity.”
“And you let her?” Hyunjin had a hard time believing that. Namjoon seemed as someone who always went by the rules. But apparently, Hyunjin was wrong once again.
“Oh believe me, I wanted to arrest her the moment she told me who she was.” Namjoon confessed, his eyes on his glass as he swirled the whiskey around in his glass, a small smile on his face. “But she was hella convincing.”
Yeah, he bet you were.
***
When Jisung and Namjoon left, Hyunjin returned to his room. He needed some time alone, even if he appreciated Chris’s company and willingness to answer almost all his questions. He needed to think, to proceed with all the information he had heard tonight about you.
Tonight, Hyunjin realized just how strong you were. Not only physical strength but also mentally. You managed to hide all your hatred, anger and resentment for years for the man only to have a chance to watch his empire crumble. But also, he admired how despite all the ugliness and death you had witnessed through the years, you still saw the good in people and the world.
Only one question remained. What of you two?
Before Hyunjin could dwell on the matter, he heard familiar voices from afar. Your voice. You were back and safe. It should have been enough for him, for now. But no. Bewitched, he followed your voice.
“You should talk to him.” Chris advised you.
You disregarded your jacket along with your gun and few knives. “That’s not a good idea.”
You didn’t look like yourself. Your hair was a mess. Dark circles under your eyes. He wondered how long he had been unconscious because you looked exhausted and unsteady. At least, you weren’t hurt.
Chris sighed and ruffled his hair in frustration. “Stop being a coward.” You snarled in response, eyes shooting daggers. But Chris wasn’t impressed with your attempt at intimidating him. “You care for him and he cares for you. Don’t run away from something good in your life.”
“Me caring for someone never ends well.” You whispered and avoided his eyes.
“I disagree.” Chris put his hands on your shoulders and gave it a squeeze. “Yeonjun would disagree too.”
“You know it will put a target on his back.” You protested.
Hyunjin decided that you should have this conversation with him and not Chris. He couldn’t hide his presence any longer. “I think; I have a say in this.”
Chris didn’t seem surprised seeing him in the room. Or maybe he had spotted him from the beginning and was trying to make you confess so Hyunjin would know how you truly felt. You, on the other hand, froze on the spot. You couldn’t look at him.
Chris walked to Hyunjin, patted his back and smiled. “Good luck.”
Yeah, he would need it.
For a while, you looked everywhere but at him. It annoyed Hyunjin that you wouldn’t look at him, wouldn’t talk to him. After everything they went through together, he didn’t think you would try to avoid a confrontation.
Hyunjin considered what he should say. Ask about your life with the crows? Ask about your family? Or should he just ask what he meant to you? Now, he knew that you cared more than you were willing to admit and this thought comforted him. Not everything was a lie. Not everything was a game.
“Namjoon told me your story.” Hyunjin finally said and started walking toward you.
That got a reaction from you. Your eyes widened in surprise. “Namjoon was here?”
Hyunjin nodded. “Chris called Namjoon and Jisung. He figured I’d need their help to understand.” And then another step toward you. But you, you took a step back, trying to keep the distance between the two of you. As if it would stop Hyunjin.
More you tried to escape and more it amused him. Until there was nowhere else to go. You had your back pressed to the wall and Hyunjin stood right before you, giving you no choice but to look at him.
“Stop it.” You put your hands on his chest and gave it a push. He didn’t budge. “Hyunjin.”
“I’m sorry he stole your childhood.” He said instead. His voice soft. Compassionate.
You averted your eyes. You didn’t want to see the emotions in his eyes. You didn’t want him to convince you there was a something out there for the two of you. “Don’t be.”
“You deserve to be happy too, Y/N.”
“I’ll be happy if you stay away from me.” You snapped and looked at him. The need to push him away was strong but the moment your eyes locked, your heart missed a beat. Despite your outburst, Hyunjin was smiling fondly at you. “There’s something incredibly wrong with you, Hwang.”
Hyunjin chuckled, agreeing with you. He leaned closer, his lips hovering over yours. “You’re a very bad influence.”
You sucked in a breath. “Even more reasons for you to stay away from me.”
He hummed. His lips brushed yours, so lightly, it could have been your imagination. “I don’t want to. And I don’t think you really want me to either.” And then another press of his lips, this time a little stronger. “You can’t get rid of me now.”
“I’m going to kick you.” You threatened. You would do no such things. Not when he kissed the corner of your mouth. “Or punch you.” You sounded less and less convincing. With every small kiss, your resolution crumbled.
But then he stopped. Hyunjin grabbed your chin, his grip strong. “You’re not getting rid of me, Y/N.”
“When did you get so bold?”
“When I realized I fell for you.” Hyunjin admitted. There was no point denying it. No point hiding it. Despite knowing now everything you had done, some terrible things to get what you wanted, Hyunjin couldn’t deny how he felt. Couldn’t unsee the good person hiding in you. “That’s why, my lovely, murderous, Y/N, there’s no getting rid of me.”
Slowly, you pushed yourself from the wall and wrapped your arms around his neck. “You are in trouble, Hwang.”
“Worth it.”
#stray kids#hyunjin#stray kids smut#stray kids x reader#hyunjin smut#hyunjin x reader#stray kids fic#hyunjin fic#skz smut#criminal love
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desitel feelings / love timeline (2 me)
DEAN:
immediate attraction in s4 (hello he has eyes!)
s4 - 5, going from allies to friends, crushing hard and shooting his shot / flirting, but all of it goes over cas's head
s6 betrayal / cas's s7 death: when he starts realizing that the way he feels abt cas is Different and More than just a crush / friendship. bobby and sam not reacting the same way to cas's betrayal and death really starts to get the gears turning. then when bobby dies, dean also realizes his grief over cas is different from his grief over bobby. (also the keeping his coat, carrying it with them in every new car all throughout s7. like that man was in Love-love.)
s8: purgatory solidifies dean's feelings. all dean can think about for a year is finding cas, saving cas. he prays to him every night. his mind is just a skipping record of cas, cas, cas. i think by this point he's accepted his romantic feelings for cas. and by the end of s8 he was ready to tell cas how he felt in the crypt. he changes "love" to "need" (which imo is MORE insane and vulnerable actually) and then dean perceives cas's actions after the crypt as a rejection of dean's feelings). meanwhile, cas has not yet even realized his own feelings for dean are romantic love yet, more on that in a minute.
s9 - s12 imo are dean grappling with the fact that his love is unrequited and trying to live with that and maybe move on (drowley summer of love).
s13 -s14 : first the widowers arc of it all. dean realizing no matter what, cas was IT for him. there's never going to be anyone else for him. he doesn't want anyone else. dean accepting that cas is effectively his life partner and he's fine with them staying platonic (bc he still thinks cas doesn't feel the same way). dean stops hooking up. dean is content with the family unit they have made for themselves.
s15: dean grappling with the knowledge of chuck's manipulation over the years. dean questioning what's even real ("is his love for cas even real?") cas asserting that they are real. divorce arc. destiel miscommunication at its finest. dean once again thinking cas doesn't care for him the way he cares for cas. dean nearly losing cas again in purgatory and deciding to put his heart on the line (was going to confess before cas cut him off). then---cas's "i love you." dean overwhelmed in the moment. dean still not sure what cas's words mean until cas is taken by the empty and he processes the speech and declaration. and then he realizes--cas was in love with him. it was mutual. they could've had it. they could've been together for years. the one thing they both wanted---
CAS
immediate attraction in s4 (hello he has eyes! many eyes in fact!)
s4 - 5: going from allies to friends. cas remembering what it's like to FEEL again ("for the first time") after his millionth lobotomy. dean re-awakening those feelings, both for humanity at large and for dean specifically. but cas doesn't have a name for these feelings yet. he attributes them to his bond with dean / assumes most people feel like this about dean.
s6 - 8: cas largely still attributing his feeling for dean to their unique bond. cas putting the mission first. cas also dealing with his own guilt over his failures. not a lot of time for him to process his feelings for dean.
s9: cas has his italicized "oh" moment. i think it's a combination of being human and for the first time all the angel stuff isn't there, he can't attribute his feelings to their "bond." he's rooted in his body for the first time, really in-tune with his physical reactions too. i think early s9 is when he starts to realize his feelings for dean are different but he's still not quite putting a name to them. then metatron calls him out on those feelings (his snarky knowing "he's in love...with humanity") and then dean dying really solidify cas's feelings. he is now aware.
aaaaaand then s10 - 12 is him grappling with those feelings at the same time that dean is really starting to accept that cas doesn't feel the same and is trying to accept that they'll be nothing but platonic and move on. so that's why you get stuff like dean calling cas their "brother" (he's trying to be ok with this) while cas looks sick to his stomach bc he is just now really accepting and processing the fact that he's in romantic love with dean. gotta love that classic destiel miscommunication, never being on the same page at the same time.
by s13 he's accepted he's in love and is now thinking it's one sided and this is all they'll ever be. he's also still kinda avoiding it all throughout the later seasons, putting the Mission first again, leaving more often, focusing on jack stuff. really just putting his feelings on the back burner.
then s15. just like i said in the dean bullet point, the divorce arc stuff is more classic miscommunication. cas so badly wants dean to ask him to stay. dean so badly wants cas to stop leaving. they both need to just have one good conversation about all of this. anyways, the "i love you." truly i think mr. avoidant cas would have continued to keep his feelings for dean to himself perhaps forever, had it not been a life or death situation where he realized telling dean his feelings would trigger the empty deal. but he does tell him. and my personal headcanon is that when he does tell him he gets hit with a wave of feeling from dean (along with the love in his eyes) that basically confirms to cas that dean actually has felt the same way all this time. and also, i think cas has partially known for a while but let his own self doubt and insecurities convince him that dean couldn't possibly feel the same.
Additionally: i do enjoy another late seasons variation, where BOTH of them have a mutual awareness of each other's feelings, but they both let insecurities and circumstances convince them it's not the right time, or they don't deserve to have this. they keep putting off talking abt this thing between them because there's always another apocalypse or big bad. because saving the world always comes before their own personal desires and happiness. so they keep putting it off until it's too late, until there's no time left. by s15 they're both feeling desperate. it's the end. they both feel they need to say something. dean tries in The Trap. cas finally does in Despair. and then there's just no time left. it's over. they never got to have it. (YET. because their story ain't over!)
anyways, i'm multitudes girlie and can enjoy many different interpretations, esp in fics, but this is my main destiel + feelings interpretation for when i'm watching the show and engaging with canon.
TLDR: they both start Feeling things for each other immediately. dean realizes these feelings are romantic love and puts that name to them first around late s6/s7. dean Accepts these feeling around s8. while cas has his realization that these intense feelings are romantic love around s9. and accepts them at some point between s10 - 12ish.
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