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indiejones · 1 year ago

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THE ONLY ‘DA VINCI OF CINEMA’, & HIS DA VINCI CODE ! – THE LOST 20 YRS OF THE “GOD OF CINEMA"! ... MARKING 36 YEARS INTO THE BIGGEST WILD DETOUR IN CINEMA TREK ! ...THE STORY OF THE HOLY GRAVE UPON WHICH MODERN BOLLYWOOD STANDS !

The public story of the greatest one, Rajesh Khanna, can be told in 3 parts –

The first 45-50 yrs of his life & his glorious never-before never-after film achievements, which is the reason we, the generations before us, & the several generations ahead of us will keep raising him to the skies.

The 2nd part being the next 10 yrs or so of his life devoted largely to political activities.

And the 3rd and last, being his life’s last 15 yrs or so, spent largely in own privacy but where we kept hearing all sorts of weird stories on him, stories that seemed simply wrong, as of the greatest actor the world has ever seen!

But also, from a visual perspective, for us cinema fans, that can be divided into 3 phases too! – First uptil 1987, where seemed a gradual & natural age progression. After which we see a sudden kinda unnatural spurt in ageing activity. And finally after 1997, when started seemingly going visibly downhill. ALMOST LIKE CONTINUOUS SLOW POISONING!

‘Tis this last phase, & his near-humiliation at hands of film media & the modern film community in general, that’s left his billions (actual count!) of die-hard fans distraught, but most of all, bewildered. Just why be, that a man who ought be revered & infact worshipped by his own professional community, turns into a ghostly figure, mere shadow of whom, to them seeming death-knell a toll!??

Well, he went away from this world, & we mourned for a few days & weeks, 12 yrs back, then got back to our lives. Yet, to many, (I personally know thousands, from varied professions, lesser to more studied to totally unstudied ones, turn into tiny tot mush, at his mere mention, that’s the magic he will forever exude in all cinema-watchers, till this media’s alive! We’ve all heard umpteen stories of women that got a mere glimpse of him, & kept crying for hours on end w/o speaking a word! All those live stories of how he’d enter the largest stadiums in India back in the 70s to a loud million-strong collective gasp , that screeching “Aaaaaah!”), and especially to those researching on his community & their official history ie Hindi cinema, the media narrative on him in his last yrs, the last decade & half of this single largest colossus that Indian cinema shall forever stay indebted to, remains an uncorrected, unmaintainable & unacceptable chapter of our & the world’s cinema.

SOMETHING DEEPLY WRONG WAS HAPPENING TO HIM...BEING DONE TO HIM, AS MOST’D SAY, IN HIS LAST YRS, THAT WE JUST COULDN’T PLACE A FINGER ON!

WHAT?????? AND WHY???????

THE LAST PERSON ON EARTH TO DESERVE THAT SORTA END.

Anyway, maybe all for the best, only God knows.

So, happens that just a few days back, while collating Indies official Biggest Bollywood Blockbusters Of All-Time List, (where he hogs 1/3rd of the top most popular 150 films over past 111 yrs!), glanced upon his last video interview, of a practically unrecognizable Rajesh Khanna, veritably on his death bed, while promoting his last ad. Yet of a Rajesh Khanna that seems non-dazed, a dazed stupor one perpetually seemingly found him in his last decade! And something about him while giving his answers, (“Bade zamaanon baad apne poore hosh-o-hawaas mein”! The same Rajesh Khanna from the 70’s, only physically very different!) that in a strange interview, made one feel as if was desperately trying to send a message across to all his fans, infact that seemed confident in their ability in deciphering & bringing out. Also making it a point to say how his fans ought never feel it to be an unfulfilled debt to be returned back to him, rather as a blessing from them itself.

Ø https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pFbEjlloBYs

Very emotional all this. Yet got one thinking-

JUST WHAT WAS IT HE WAS TRYING TO SAY…RATHER THAT HE WANTED US TO SAY..THAT HE COULDN’T SAY HIMSELF????

THAT’S WHEN EYES VEER TOWARDS HIS NEXT & LAST AUDIO RECORDED MESSAGE, PLAYED FOR FANS & ATTENDEES ALIKE DURING HIS EULOGY, after his death, just few days after that last video interview of July 2012.

AND SOMETHING INSIDE SAID – THIS, MAYBE T-H-I-S, IS WHAT HE WANTED US TALKING ABOUT ! ?

An audio he’d clearly recorded a few months, infact probably a year or so before passing away, going by his tonal quality in last few days of his life.

And so began our research into that 8’ 17 sec long message. A seemingly innocuous, almost strange message, at first glance mere motivational talk over his initial days of struggle in theatre & before entering films, for fans & budding actors to draw inspiration from.

But his last (video) interview, just clearly suggesting how was expecting more outta his fans over something.

And so began our quest, in re-hearing & re-hearing it, in trying to fulfil this enormously great man’s last wish of us.

AND THE MORE WE STARTED HEARING….VOILA!

IMAGINATION RUNNING WILD, & THEN INTO THE DEEPEST OF DEEP. BRINGING OUT HUNDEREDS OF VERY INTERESTING & PLAUSIBLE QUESTIONS! QUESTIONS THAT NONE OF US FANS WILL PROBABLY EVER BE ABLE TO HAVE CONCRETE ANSWERS TO HERE --- YET THAT’D MOST CERTAINLY CORROBORATE ALL OUR SPECULATION, & UNDOUBTEDLY EXONERATE HIM OF ANY ACCUSATIONS OF PERSONAL WEAKNESS OR FAILING.

We’ve tried our best to divide this message into different numbered parts, for ease of better understanding, even more necessary towards it’s last half, where requires multiple interpretations, as directed by him himself. Also, this being a audio-picture message, ie audio interspersed with Mr. Khanna’s pics from his films, we have tried to ascribe their meanings at various points during the narrative, to best explain, if help expand the narrative.

So let’s begin the grail quest – completing Kaka saheb’s last incomplete film, in the only genre he perhaps hadn’t attempted in his long, most eclectic career – A Treasure Hunt!

Before we begin, I think it best we intimately acquaint ourselves with the transcript of his last audio & video message, by repetitive reading from the link provided below, that shall enable us to connect more dots, & as efficiently as humanly possible in our position here..

👇👇👇👇👇

( Verbatim Transcriptions of Rajesh Khanna's last (audio & video) recorded messages for his fans, released after his death.

- Rajesh Khanna’s Actual ‘Aakhri Khat’ !

Ø https://www.tumblr.com/indiejones/710349965044678656/verbatim-transcription-of-rajesh-khannas-last?source=share )

1. So the first point- seems mere introduction, of him informing how was trying to connect with us at a informal familial level, & as the last point will reaffirm, trying to connect with those who never physically met him, yet remained closest to his heart. (Remember how he says in his last video interview, how feels sad meeting people from his own industry, but doesn’t feel sad otherwise!? His last audio interview was clearly meant only & only for his dear fans).

2. A very important point! Wherein he draws the time boundaries within which all his codes & hints are to be placed or contextualized – herein clearly stating how none of his codes are to be applied to events before the time when ‘familiar faces met in an unfamiliar setting’ ‘clearly indicative of that particular period of time when he, alongwith many film personalities of that time, as a trend, entered the political arena..and there onwards only.

3. A critical piece of the puzzle! One that we haven’t been able to decipher exactly & fully. Yet enough to know, this is about “people he kinda was aware of for past 100 yrs, yet that came to know or meet, only in it’s 10th year. … Now we all know he lived only for 69.5 yrs ie <100 yrs, & had his 1st film released 46 yrs before his death in 1966, and probably started working in films a year earlier in 1965. Also, he never mentioned “100 saal pehle jab main paida hua” or something of that nature. Clearly indicating how that 100 yrs is to be re-calibrated into 46 yrs, & that 10 yrs ahead thereafter, as an equivalent fraction, alone. Since that fraction works out to 10/100 ie 1/10, those 10 yrs work out to 4.5 yrs? So it’s clear, he refers to people who made their debuts in some way in 1965-66 or thereabouts or who came to be known by 1966 or so, but that he got to meet somewhere near 1969-1970? Okay let’s move on to the next point. Wait, but why would he mention about these people alone, that too at the very beginning of his eulogy message, almost in vengeance?! Certainly seem like the most critical people in this whole puzzle in some way.

Also his last video intvw of July 2012,has mention of ‘pachaas saal,ya jabse maine apna career shuru kiya’. ‘50 yrs back’,is that significant?

Also note the words “Kabhi kabhi mujhe aisa lagta hai” part. So are there more people & more contexts to this ‘Sau’ & ‘dus’, that we are supposed to decipher later??

PS. Also note how this audio portion is interspersed with a pic from his film ‘Safar’.

4. This point ascribes the deepest cause or motive, behind all the wrongs done to him. Theatre? But as we know from earlier ‘keys to his code’- This is not to be interpreted with his pre-political past, that leaving ‘politics or political position or political chair’ as the only simile or meaning for ‘theatre’ here. Also theatre artists generally known to be the more honest & conscientious & devoted of them all, this word also perhaps indicative of the least corruptible or least potentially crooked kind of politician.

5. Does the first line of pt. 5 stating how when he entered politics, he was given a junior artists’ role, with just one line, referring to him being placed in a role where was to purposely stay outta the victorious or heroic limelight, set up to lose, so to say? But begs the question- why would they select a all-time megastar to lose an election? As if he was selected for this kind of a purposely sacrificial role, for some reason other than his ability to win? Maybe as an inside joke or inside sly, towards someone else, someone they just wanted to tease but not totally cut away from?

PS. Note how this above audio portion is spoken alongside pic from his film ‘Souten’.

Anyway, 2nd line of pt.5 states, how when he went & said that line in the 2nd act, he mumbled & fumbled, & infact landed up giving the accused a free pass to wriggle outta his losing position or something? Is this 2nd act the 2nd time he fought a political election, with incidentally a person from the film industry itself, wherein he gave his opponent, his past colleague from his original profession, a respectable outlet, rather than making him accountable for all corruption or collusion with authorities or follies? (Some historical education- Official records show Mr. Khanna receiving just 1,00,000 votes, but his chief opponent receiving only 73,000 or so votes, thus making Khanna the victor! THIS IS BEYOND RIDICULOUS! WHO CAN IMAGINE RAJESH KHANNA RECEIVING ONLY 1 LAKH VOTES EVEN IN A SMALLEST OF CORPORATOR ELECTIONS, LEAVE ALONE A PARLIAMENT ELECTION!) So it’s obvious the reference is to his margin of victory in that 2nd election, which was much much much, infact as claimed, unimaginably larger than officially claimed. Whether it’s true or not, as I said, we shall never be able to tell.

Also, if 2nd act is to be interpreted as this 2nd election he fought, & we know he also fought the 1st election, wherein he also btw accused his opposing team of heavy corruption & collusion with authorities, did he infact win that 1st election too? As I said, we shall never be able to concretely tell here.

Another important interpretation that we can’t overlook in our analysis while interpreting everything else, are his possible hints towards police collusion, of how he perhaps was unable in his own conscience to go alongwith the hypocritical bts police role in allowing illegal activities (different activities, which he doesn’t exactly specify or restrict the scope of) to carry on, activities involving film people in politics??

“Rajesh Khanna, you keep saying you want to be a politician, but you can’t even publicly say one line of others’ conviction properly. Shame on you.” Ie He clearly wasn’t cut out to be a ‘typical politician’. He says further, how he cursed himself over it, & thot that may never be able to ever become a proper ideal politician.

P.S. Now is this last 2 line monologue innocuous, or also hinting at something else, perhaps? Was he trying to say that, by then, he had turned into someone whose public behaviour had started changing against his own volition? Remember the slow poisoning we spoke about in the beginning? Was he, we’re presently in 1991, already a few yrs into his secretly poisoned or drugged state by then? Remember how we spoke of his sudden, unnatural physical transformation on screen in 1988? Was this, what we assume to be slow-drugging, happening since then or just prior?

(That’s when mind jumps to a interview he gave to Rajat Sharma in 1991/92,which now,when added up to everything else we’ve analyzed,puts things in totally different perspective! And just hear me out on this, even if not connected with the transcripts which we’re specifically analyzing. A Rajat Sharma interview wherein among things he states, “Main yahan aya hoon, us pyar ko lautane ke liye. Is janta ki adalat mein, aap sab ke saath kandhe se kandha milka,e paon se paon milake, kadam se kadam milake.” And the look in his eyes saying all this, seemed more of someone begging to be given a chance to live again, rather than serve! Go watch it if get a chance, & will also wonder- DID RAJESH KHANNA ENTER POLITICS ITSELF, INITIALLY, JUST TO ESCAPE THE BOLLYWOOD MAFIA???! .. DID HE THINK THAT PERHAPS CHANGING LOCATIONS, HIS SURROUNDINGS, & HIS COTERIE OF PEOPLE, THAT COULD SOMEHOW PREVENT THOSE DRUG LORDS & THEIR SECRETLY ADMINISTERED DRUGS FROM GETTING INTO HIS SYSTEM ???!” .. AND THE REASON HE COULDN’T SAY ALL THIS MUCH BEFORE, WAS FOR FEAR OF BEING LABELLED A DRUGGIE OR A LOSER, THE GREAT RAJESH KHANNA WHO RULED OVER BOLLYWOOD FOR A DECADE AND HALF, LEFT AS A BEGGAR FOR MERCY, AT THE HANDS OF THE POISON THAT HAD BEGUN TO TAKE IT’S TOLL ON HIM????)

Remember the Havell's ad, the one he specifically chose to do, just before his death. AND NO ADS ALL LIFE, BEFORE IT !

HE COULD'VE DONE THOUSANDS OR SEVERAL HUNDREDS OF ADS, FOR EXORBITANT HIGHEST EVER SUMS, & NONE TO SAY NO TO THE EMPEROR OF ENTT, ALL THRU THE 90's! .. YET HE DIDN'T! NOT ONE!

THEN WHY THIS?? IN THE LAST MONTH OF HIS LIFE???

ADS WEREN'T HIS THING, OR HIS ARTISTIC HIGH, AT ALL!

THIS WAS ALL PLANNED BY HIM, JUST AS AN EXCUSE, TO GIVE HIS CODE, THE BEST SHOT AT REACHING HIS FANS!

REMEMBER THE AD????? - " BABUMOSHAI. .. MERE FANS MUJHSE KOI NAHI CHHEEN SAKTA! .. MERE FANS HAMESHA MERE HI RAHENGE! "

WE WERE SUPPOSED TO BE HIS BABUMOSHAI, AFTER HE WAS GONE.

ANAND ACTUALLY THOUGHT, HIS REAL LIFE BABUMOSHAI, EACH ONE OF US FANS, WOULD WRITE ABOUT HIM, ABOUT ALL THAT HE'D LEFT BEHIND, TO UNCODE & TO PRESENT TO THE WORLD, AFTER HE WAS GONE.

TO KEEP ANAND ALIVE.

. . Phew. ..

Ok so let’s get back to our specific analysis.

Equally interesting being the last line of pt. 5. “Lekin phir bhi, Bhagwaan ki muskaan samajh lijiye, zid samajh lijiye, maine kaha kuch na kuch to karunga karke bataunga”. Let’s try analyse these one by one:

As we shall see in next pt, the other events happen later, so this is indicative of things happening in the 1991-1992-1993 time period (time period of Mr. Khanna’s 2nd election, before he assumed a official public position) or so, only!

Ok so ‘Lekin phir bhi’ means ‘Yet’,’despite it’ isn’t it??? If assume so, then is he trying to say that despite his concessions, he wasn’t shown reciprocal respect, or that reciprocal respect wasn’t shown to someone else in some way?? But by whom? In what way? Almost sounds as if he was being controlled or being shackled in some way, some way that he just couldn’t break out from!? Or maybe that he just couldn’t prove??

Or does ‘Lekin’ mean ‘Le kin’?? But whose kin???

What’s ‘Bhagwaan ki muskaan’? Is it the metaphor for child or children, or a reference to child or children in his eyes??? Is this also in some way connected to this 1991 time period? Does the “Samajh lijiye” phrase require more attention? Is he specifically asking us to look much deeper into these words? Are there sexually suggestive connotations to this piece of the puzzle? Are these ‘children’ being forced into some sexual activity, or connected with such sexual activity?

Ok now what’s ‘Zid’? Is this again indicative of something happening against someone’s wish? Some persistent attempt against people’s wish? Against whose wish? By whom? .. Or is it a reference to some film, or people connected with such film, bearing “Bhagwaan ki muskaan” & “Zid” in in it’s title, or the like?? In what way though ? Or is it perhaps a kid’s zid, causing someone else to “Kuch na kuch karna, aur karke batana”?

Kya ‘samajh len’ l??

( PERHAPS THIS ! ?

👇

1. https://www.tumblr.com/indiejones/726654132078985216/of-rajesh-khanna-dimple-kapadia?source=share

2. https://www.tumblr.com/indiejones/727050607837495296/the-weirdest-rumor-about-the-freemason-family?source=share

)

These are all the questions, & obviously no answers, that we can come up with.

Ok wait! Also let’s not forget the people he made a point to specially refer to in pt. 3, at very beginning of this message, the undeciphered people, who also, may in some way be connected to all of this. Remember the line “Kabhi kabhi” in it, & the chuckle thereafter? So are we also supposed to re-decrypt this phrase, from a 1991 perspective, & find the other people within this new 1991 time frame context? So are these people who made their debuts or came to prominence from 1991 or having famous films bearing that word in title, released during that period? Or the events shown in such films? Or something along those lines? Remember how his own film with the word “dus” was released in 1991 too!

So it’s almost clear, that we’re supposed to interpret his puzzle, with people from 1991-1992 as context at some times, & at other times with people from 1966-1970!? .. Remember the usage of the pic from Mr. Khanna’s film ‘Safar’/’Journey’ during this audio portion!?

Lemme repeat at this juncture that, who these above people are, we don’t know. Even if to assume just few of the many possible interpretations of these lines in the puzzle, there are just too many people who made their Bollywood debuts in 1991-1992, for us to, ethically, even begin to wager any guesses.

Now let’s get to the 2 biggest, most complicated pts of this puzzle, pts 6 & 7, voluminous enuf in explanation to warrant a full blog by themselves!

6. First pt. 6.

6.a. “Main jab filmon mein aaya, toh mera koi godfather nahi tha, mera film mein koi rishtedaar, ya koi sar pe haath rakhne wala nahi tha”.

Very imp pt! This is where Mr. Khanna sets the background for all the seemingly improper events that are to follow next in his life. He states how when ‘he entered films’, he had no godfather, no relations from films, no one to place their ‘hand’ on his head.

Now to the full phrase-

This is explaining the events leading upto his assuming electoral office as MP. Everyone knows how Rajiv Gandhi died just a day after voting for Rajesh Khanna in his 1st ever electoral contest from Delhi in 1991. Is this him indicating how many to most people who get parachuted to enter high-level politics from the start, are generally those with some back-door clout in some other behind-the-scenes way, & him having entered purely upon upon Rajiv Gandhi’s sweet insistence alone, & with him now gone, was ill-equipped with the Machiavellian tools needed for bts political wheelings & dealings?

PS. Also apt time, to remind how Mr. Khanna’s pic from his film ‘Namak Haraam’ is displayed alongside this particular audio portion, indicative of how he was being asked to do things against his high conscience. But what things against his conscience? He offers some hints later in pt. 6 itself!

PS. Also know his peculiarly flexible use of the words ‘main’ ‘hum’, & ‘aap’. Also alluded to in his last video interview, almost stressing on it as another key to crack his code. That interview also alluding to how “Jab dil jawan hai toh sab jawan hai. Chhenna hai ya maangna hai. Uparwala hai. Chhappar phaad ke deta hai!” Now what does that mean?? Maybe we’ll get more hints as we move along our research.

Ø https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pFbEjlloBYs

At this juncture, I would request readers to go read & re-read pt. 6 from the transcript his audio interview as many times as they can, & uncode some theories in their own heads, this then giving them the base & mental discipline needed to grasp the plausibility of our explanations ahead. For some of it may sound shocking too! (And since there actually are no names to offer, being a safe flight of the mind for all & sundry as well).

Now, first let’s try to decode some of the words being used herein.

‘United Producers’ – Does it refer to a consortium of media groups? Or to people controlling illegal trade of some kind, also in control of such media groups? Or maybe a mix of the two?

He’s stated in the very beginning how all the pieces of his puzzle are to be interpreted in context of “people known to him from before, who later meet in an unnatural setting”.

‘Film’ - So does the word ‘Film’ herein, refer to a collective, a network of film people trying to use his political clout or position? Or is it a collective of people not necessarily from films, but celebs from the political or other field, known to him from his time in cinema, now meeting in a behind-closed-doors setting, a “anjaan si mehfil” ? Or perhaps both !?

‘Filmfare Talent’ – Since the actual Filmfare is outta question, from Mr. Khanna’s own key to the code.. It’s only meaning could be – Concocted narrative that looks good & presentable on broadcast news media? Or actual fare of films ie box office collections of films? (Remember our blog over how the practice of heavily inflated box-office figures of many Bollywood films, being presented to media as real, could’ve possibly been happening since the 1970’s itself!?) . Or at an even darker level, indicative of flesh trade being carried out in the guise of film actresses/actors? Or the network of female actresses being bonded in some way to powerful people outside our borders? Also indicated by phrases used in pt. 6.g.

Now does the word ‘Times of India’ mean it by itself, or its acronym ‘Toi’, Toy?

Does the term ‘Contest’ mean, how people from film industry had been regularly using inflated box-office figures to account for smuggled goods via toys?? What goods? Did it include hard drugs too?

Now does pt. 6.d & 6.e indicate also corroborate our 3 or more theories, in form of 3 photographs, & the names of the producers, each obviously not meaning they themselves as Mr. Khanna’s key to code clearly directs, but indicative of other things, namely powerful industrialists, pure profit-making businessmen, accountants, & even the NGO types, of both left or right sides, within India itself, leave aside others, as being part of it??

Now pt. 6.f is perhaps indicative of how he was arm-twisted or threatened in some way to toe their line, lest he be physically hurt or defamed at hands of media? For all they could see was, not the contribution of this man to the nation or his pedigree or calibre & stature, but his political seat & the power of that seat alone.

Pt. 6.g. indicates how he refused to simply blindly permit all their activities, rather asked them for details of all their activities. Note the use of phrase “maa sakht hai, kadak hai, naram hai, middle class hai”. Clearly corroborating our theory of smuggled goods inside toys or some such things, drugs, or women, mostly of middle class or directed towards this middle class. Or ‘middle class’ referring to non-blockbusters shown as blockbusters in collections? Also corroborated by the line from his last video message, “Chheenna hai, ya maangna hai. Uparwala hai. Chhappar phaadke deta hai”.

Also the line “Bhai ameer hai, gareeb hai” referring to foreign nations, either rich or poor? Is the word ‘bhai’ used generally, or is it a reference to Muslim nations? Also, what does he mean by the phrase “Ye aadmi padha likha hai, anpadh hai, ya kuch bhi nahi”? Is he referring to different specific people, people from films connected to politics & to this?

All this too tough to provide concrete answers to, here.

Pt. 6.h. Another imp pt. Where his exact words are, “Toh Chopra sahab ne jhat se mujhe kaha,”Tum theatre se ho?””. Now either this is simply a qun, or does the wording mean, Chopra meaning Mr. Book-Keeper asking this thru someone else, some film person or persons?? Following which he goes “Maine kaha “ji””. Now is this simply a yes, or if broken into different separate words, does he say “Man ek Haji”. Is he referring to Haji Mastan, the erstwhile Don of Bombay who was famous for only allowing smuggling of gold & electronic goods at the most, & disallowing hard drugs or weapons from entering the country?? Or does the “Man ek Haji”, if at all this meaning, simply mean a “Man of God”, disallowing all illegal activities, small or big, including smuggling of gold & electronics?

All plausible quns, that we shall again not be able to provide concrete answers to.

6.i. This pt indicates a different meaning to the word ‘maa’. Is he saying, that this was proposal made by the consortium, to him, to be then sold to the party head, but that Mr. Khanna refused to accept w/o learning more inside details? Or is this maa someone else?

7. Pt. 7.a. is where the consortium then, it seems, tries to get cosy with him, upon which he gets suspicious, thinking, how he having no godfathers in the political community to protect himself, would be easy prey to blackmail, decides to counter-threaten them with dirt he personally had (perhaps with proof of some sort?), on some of the people perhaps in some way involved with these whole behind-the-scenes machinations.

NOW ONE OF THE MOST PLAUSIBLE EXPLANATIONS HERE, REVOLVES AROUND HIS WORDS "AB KAATO TOH KHOON NAHI, PASINA CHHOOT RAHA THA". IS THIS A REFERENCE TO THE SUPER-SECRETIVE SUPRA-NATIONAL 'FREEMASONS' GANG ALSO OPERATIONAL IN INDIA SINCE TIMES OF BRITISH, NOW ALSO HAVING ACQUIRED ABOVE 'CONSORTIUM' ALONGWITH BIG BOLLYWOOD MEMBERSHIP, THE KNOWLEDGE OF (EXPOSING) WHICH MR. KHANNA TRIED TO USE AS COUNTER-THREAT TO THEIR DEATH THREATS?

(Blog on Freemasonry

👇

https://www.tumblr.com/indiejones/718873275475820544/freemasonry-indies-general-assessment-from?source=share )

The next line explains how he was scared of being illegally recorded/stung, & defamed as having a loose mouth, by people perhaps including big media houses, hence it seems might’ve instead played others’ secretly recorded tapes, secret tapes of people within the writers’ community bitching about their own community over drinks or something (does “Bhagwaan ka Aashirwad” refer to the name of some abode or hang-out? That 'blessing' being as consort or comfort or shelter or good fortune - so some name that's got to do with Janki? or Gauri? or Prabhu? or Lakshmi? or Bhagyalakshmi? or Devta? etc etc?).

The next line & pt onwards, is where things start getting very tricky, & very tough for bloggers like me to completely & unequivocally decipher, yet our research over this matter over several days, has broadly outlined 10 angles, each quite shocking in itself, also with the very loose evidentiary value available, that shall only be be able to offer broad outlines based on our (even if higher up) information.

We shall try to outright lay down these 10 angles, in the form of interpretation of the next line:

Also per Mr. Khanna’s 9 keys to code in his last video interview, involving:

i. One of the sides being ‘young at heart’ & others as young, not necessarily bound by any time-period (’masoom ke saamne mayoosi’)

ii. Necessarily people in some way connected to the film-industry, but not necessary official film-related incidents, rather their non-filmy personal life.

iii. People, who either started off in films during 1965-66 or 1969-70 or came to prominence or to Mr. Khanna’s acquaintance at that time?

iv. People who came into films by 1991 or 1992 or so, or connected in some way to the words ‘Sau’ & ‘dus’ ?

v. Events before the 1996 period (per our decoding of Mr. Khanna’s words “chaalees saal pehle” per his own given formulae).

vi. People either demanding or outright snatching away, using powerful connections atop. - “ Vo chahe tumhari hai ya nahi. Chheenna hai ya maangna hai. Uparwala hai. Chhappar phaad ke deta hai”.

vii. Does “Bhagwaan ka Aashirwad” refer to the name of some abode or hang-out? That 'blessing' being as consort or comfort or shelter or good fortune - so some name that's got to do with Janki? or Gauri? or Prabhu? or Lakshmi? or Bhagyalakshmi? or Devta? etc etc?

viii. Does "Bhagwaan ke ashirwaad" also refer to, how Khanna had Dilip Kumar's & Ashok Kumar’s blessings & inputs?

ix. Has something to do with the phrase “Kaato toh khoon nahi. Pasina chhoot raha”.

8. Now basic proforma of pt. 8 is a set of 2 artists, who then ask, “What will you do after hearing my story?”. Followed by one of them or maybe both of them drinking from a "pyaala" (plausibly could be about the secret supra-national extra-constitutional 'Freemasonry' cult in India growing since times of British, (note the phrase: "jaise suhani subah darawni raat mein palat gayi ho",possibly also a reference to Illuminati gang, & its symbol, owl?), causing him/her/them to start operating from hiding or while hiding his/her/their true identity or true face, whilst the other(s) as result of same event beginning to find more success in some way, but themselves trapped for life? Culminating in a showdown, either between someone, maybe Mr.Khanna himself on some occasions, & the set of artists, or between the artists & someone else blackmailing to keep this secret from going public, the result necessarily involving a concerted attempt thereon to try secretly keep causing harm to Mr. Khanna. And last scenario being of someone possibly coming as positive influence & as matter of solace & comfort.

Now combining pts 7 & 8, we have come up with 10 angles to be broadly laid out,

(Herein, would be unkind if didn’t thank a whole lot of people/sources who helped online in piecing together all possible angles that we could holistically & concretely come up with, during the 3-4 days we collectively banged our heads over this riddle).

1st angle – Mr. Khanna’s own drugged state at that point compared to his previous state, highly over-sensitive & prone to fright? A pitiful state he was reduced to, on account of his systematic secret drugging, on for long, but increased after his taped revelations?

Remember the line from his last video interview – “Hum bhi baithe hain rah-o-dar mein, tera milna khushi ki baat rahi. Tujhe milke hum udaas rehte hain, varna hum bauhut kum udaas rehte hain” & “Uparwala hai, chhapr phaad ke deta hai”. As also pt.9c. from his last audio - "Pyaar aap mujhe bhejte rahe, pyar vo mujhe milta raha, lekin us pyar ko main kabhi lauta nahi paya".

-An indication of his liquor or food for yrs on end being heavily spiked with hard drugs, via we guess an army of paid servants & outside control & direction via rigged cctc cameras?

By whom we don’t know. And finally with him meeting new love, later in life.

(We know for a fact how he was left alone by himself at his bungalow, by his family for more than a decade. We don’t know who’s & how many are to blame, & make of all this what you will).

But the last line of pt. 8 applied here - “Jo teri aankh ka bismil nahi, vo kehne vo dil toh hai magar dil nahi” indicates, he’d figured out that everyone that came into his life later on, that claimed to be innocent & naive, & that he came to inadvertently depend upon, wasn’t someone he felt he could trust?

2nd angle – A reference to some form of match-fixing? You know, purposely edging the ball or offering one’s wicket, even when at loss of own team. Or basically designing cricket matches, per bookies? Involving a set of 2 lover or partner ‘artists’, one a cricketer (an injured cricketer?) & the other an actor, with Mr. Khanna or someone else unconnected to or in touch with Mr. Khanna as an unagreeable confidante (maybe getting to know from Anju, ex of both him & Gary Sobers?), causing relations to turn sour?

3rd angle- A scenario of jealousy among fellow actors-actresses, basically injury to one’s own reputation or self-esteem, over the rise to supremacy of another actor/actress of the time? This could be a story common to more than 1 artist. (Remember the child, a child in Mr. Khanna’s eyes, that we referred to earlier?) (Does it have some connection with the years 1991-1992 or the words ‘sau’ or ‘dus’ ? We wouldn’t know. And some sorta deal/(supari?) to get that actor ‘outta the way’? And ofcourse with either Mr. Khanna or someone he knew or came to know of later, as confidante? Is it about a very famous actress that debuted in 1991 & died in 1993, the ‘andhi’/blind from Mr. Khanna’s message, that figured out the presence of Illuminati in Bollywood & became a threat?

4th angle- A scenario involving a singer & a composer or a writer. And a confrontation btwn the 2, causing undercutting by the more powerful one, causing one to have to sit at home, while the other flourished. Followed by a via association with another fan of that artist, also in some way connected to the words ‘shabnam se bhi mulayam’. And Mr. Khanna confronting that artist later outta concern for the via association, causing friction thereafter for life?

5th Angle- Some high profile intra-Bollywood marriage in 1965 or 1966? With one of marrying artists noticeably inactive (made more so? drugged?) thereafter? Followed by a later 2nd marriage by that lesser in control person from previous marriage, that's gotten dissolved u/pressure,for fear of not being from 'community'?

6th angle- Of a person that had become famous in art circles & the nation, for his voice, before turning actor, & who had to make big compromises & take the wrong path, 'drink the cup of evil' svp, to jockey for & bag such a job, in some way connected to songs? In some entt profession not designed for face-to-face interaction? & Who also became famous or known for his off-screen pairing later on, with someone, a star who was a fan of his voice from before films, who was oblivious to his devious alliances past?

7th Angle- A reference to sexual activity with non-pubescent girls within some family-like unit? With a confrontation later, from within the family, we don’t know which family, causing a rushed up settlement of sorts of non-monetary nature? And ofcourse that Mr. Khanna came to know of? .. Is this connected to the twisted ‘Freemasons’ cult & their awful rituals in some way?

8th & 9th Angle- We envision 2 set of artists from the line "Kya karoge meri kahani sunke?". One set is of 2 writers, & the other set is of a director & a producer.

We don’t know the set of 2 artists involved here, but some association here too, as in all above eg’s with some ‘shabnam se bhi mulayam’ person (different person in each angle) (an 'andhi' who couldn't see what was in front of her or staring at her, or some such scenario?), and perhaps culminating in Mr Khanna’s confrontation with the 2, that he perhaps suffered for later?

10th angle - A director/producer-actor duo, the director known for working almost exclusively with only one actor, & also for making pleasing violent action films (”jitna bhayanak tha mera chehra utne hi madhur the mere geet”)? And a similar interaction with a much younger "andhi" (ignorant) newcomer (”shabnam se bhi mulayam”) actress, a fan coming to express her appreciation, that the actor instead falls head over heels in love with & proposes marriage, that the producer prevents from happening, perhaps for wanting her as a bride for one of his own family wards, also in full apprenticeship & on the scene?

Is there a reference in these scenarios, to the story that was played a lot in recent times on Sm, over the ghastly longstanding mafia activity, of child-trafficking & of (drugged) human-trafficking/flesh trade, in first case where kids’ nails are pulled painfully, to induce pain & tears of pain in them, those tears then collected & processed into a drug that promises longevity & youthful looks? The 2nd case, aside general drugged flesh trade, could also perhaps involve sex-for-cinema quid-pro-quo btwn artists & those pulling strings, as alluded to by pt. 8.h. “tumhe chandni raaton se hai mohabbat aur main aankhon se barsata hoon sitare”? Is the reference to ‘eye’ also indicative of it’s control by the twisted death cult ‘Illuminati’ here?

9. This basically involves Kaka saheb summarizing how his underground clashes with the celeb world, over unethical practices, caused him to make lotsa enemies, enemies that then pursued a clandestine defamation drive against him in media over next few decades, & how this was further exacerbated by the enemies he furthermore made via the above-mentioned 5 scenarios. Enemies who might well be putting up a facade of being very good & benevolent & friendly in public, but that have secretly done the most harm to him behind his back. By planting stories against him in media for decades, putting him down at every given turn, ridiculing him, belittling, & downright stealing away his laurels, & the very qualities that earned him those laurels. These people as he put it ’wedded to & partners with’ their nefarious confidantes. Note the phrase: "vo khubsoorat kamyaabi ki seedi, chadhne ka mauka, ye sehra toh aapke sar hai".

Is his reference then to "yahan patthar toh bahut milte hain magar dil nahi milta" also a direct indication to the large number of Freemasons around, sweetly yet cunningly plotting against him, that he knows of?

Lastly reminding as well as thanking us, the people, perhaps referring to the people who voted him to power in actual huge numbers (whatever the official records say). Ending with a big thankyou, firstly in his normal language, next in modern English, & finally in a rather theatrical filmy darbari way (”bauhat bauhat salaam”).

Note: Also re-read first & last para of his last video interview here. - Is he asking us, the new generation or changed society to take heed from this, & openly shun drug culture, for sake of cinema & society at large?

So here we end this interp, having tried our best to piece together this rather long-drawn puzzle, a puzzle written by the Master of Masters himself, a man voted by higher powers than us, as the greatest actor in the history of the acting profession the world over!

And doing as best a job as we could’ve, within our very limited resources.

People will obviously come to their own conclusions in the end, but this for the first time is The Great One’s side of the story, even if in a rather rough gross & rudimentary riddle form.

Yet better than nothing, for a story of one of history’s most cherished ever chapters, long dominated in narration by just one camp, a camp not his own.

A camp that couldn’t physically do away with him, such was the sheer enormity & magnitude of his achievements, any such attempt that were to surely only exponentially raise that already permanently hallowed stature in public imagination. Hence instead that tried to do away with the imagination itself.

And this is what they turned The Greatest Personality in the Known History of India, into, close to the end.(Before, we’re guessing, chemotherapy for his then developed cancer, detoxified him of his drugged system!)

Shame on them.

This is us offering the greatest obeisance that we can pay to our dearest beloved actor-leader. By trying to decrypt his creativity, a creativity & imagination we know to always emerge from the depths of core truths & righteousness.- That’s the reason he was called the ‘Rama-Krishna’ of Films in some circles too! … ‘Upar Aaka, Neeche Kaka!” was how it’d always end.

This, a gift from his followers - & for what he perhaps always craved for the most – The feeling of being ‘His own’.

R.I.P. O LOVELY ONE!

P.S.: SOME MORE FROM THE CAESAR FILES:

I. RAJESH'S NEVER-BEFORE-SEEN FOREIGN INTERVIEW:

A never-before-seen & just released EYE-OPENING interview of Rajesh Khanna from 1990 > ( https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3HJEyKCn398 ) (remember, this is just after having 'lost' his 1st political election in 1989, & before his 2nd election & his heavy-duty return to politics), back stage having just completed his stage show, which upon interpretation, brings further clarity to our investigation, on the atrocities committed on The Greatest One, where Mr. Khanna reveals-

1. Clearly expresses his firm opinion on the whole star-superstar media razzmatazz nonsense.

2. His opinion on many things under the sun (eg his approval of live-in relationships as the change of the times), 3. Shares few personal details none knew about, & 4. Clearly, in final mins of interview, chooses to forcibly & deliberately insert his comments at opportune moment, on his clandestine drug-spiking that'd been going on for past >3 yrs (since 1888 atleast per our analysis), in the end even throwing an open sugar-coated challenge to his enemies to come face-to-face with him & not trouble instead from behind.

II. Another important addition to our interview set, from Mr. Arun Bakshi who worked with The Greatest in both 1987-88 in Avam & then in 1989-90 on Swarg, who confirms how Kakasaheb was suffering from ‘confidence issues’ in 1990 atleast, & how would retake shots on the next day like never before, for reasons unknown to all then, & that we now know lot more about.

Note -Infact a ‘confidence issue’ that we know all the causes for, that also caused his weird repeated self-assertion of ‘star se superstar bana’ etc to all & sundry in press meets, esp 2000s on, many yrs into his jailing, caused not on account of self-boasting (ever heard a God of anything, and he actually was & always shall remain the God of acting, needing to boast about him being God of this & that?), but a reminder to himself of who he was & who he is, due to the severe drug-imprisonment induced upon him. .. VO KISI AUR KO NAHI, KHUD KO YAAD DILAYA KARTE THE, KI VO KAUN THE & AUR KAUN HAIN.

HE WOULD REMIND HIMSELF, & NOT OTHERS OF HIS GREATNESS, IN HIS LAST YEARS, & NOT ON ACCOUNT OF FRUSTRATION, BUT ANGER, AT HAVING BEEN SEEMINGLY REDUCED TO A FARCE (& A FOREVER TIMID ATTEMPT AT THAT, SUCH HIS UNIMAGINABLY ENORMOUS LEGACY), & MOST IMPORTANTLY, DIMINISHED IN STATUS EVEN IF POST-RETIREMENT ALONE, NOT FOR A FAULT AT ALL OF HIS OWN.

AND NOT THAT IT'S NEEDED, YET TO ANSWER EVEN THE FEW HANDFUL DOUBTERS IN THE WEST (GIVEN THAT HE IS A VERY WELL KNOWN FIGURE LITERALLY EVERYWHERE NOW) BRED ON THE 'FADED STAR CRAVING ATTENTION & RELEVANCY' NARRATIVE OVER GENERATIONS, AS WE'VE SEEN IN SO MANY FILMS OF THE WEST- YOU THINK A MAN WHO'S LITERALLY ACHIEVED, IN MY OPINION, 20,000 TIMES MORE THAN THE AVERAGE GREAT OF HIS PROFESSION ANYWHERE IN THE WORLD, WOULD CRAVE RELEVANCY & SEEK APPROVAL, INTO HIS 60'S?!

THIS IS NOT A COMMON ONCE-GREAT TALE, THIS IS THE STORY OF THE GRAVEST INJUSTICE INFLICTED IN THE HISTORY OF THE ENTERTAINMENT PROFESSION. INFACT OF THE GRAVEST OF ALL CRIMES, COMMITTED ON THE TRADITIONALLY NOBLE ENTERTAINMENT PROFESSION ITSELF.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=R5YYik1cvSA

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1 note · View note

idedicatethisblogtodestiel · 6 years ago

Note

150 for the hella cute questions?

Who was the last person you held hands with?2. Are you outgoing or shy?

shy man i hate people3. Who are you looking forward to seeing?

JOJO SIWA4. Are you easy to get along with?

depends. im noice but i choose not to hang with people? if that makes sense5. If you were drunk would the person you like take care of you?

no one lmao6. What kind of people are you attracted to?

anyone thats not me but also democrat 7. Do you think you’ll be in a relationship two months from now?

nah8. Who from the opposite gender is on your mind?

ryan my friend9. Does talking about sex make you uncomfortable?

Y E P10. Who was the last person you had a deep conversation with?

probably my sister11. What does the most recent text that you sent say?

me too lmao 12. What are your 5 favorite songs right now?

idk i dont listen to new songs?????? AAAAAAH

13. Do you like it when people play with your hair?

yes unless but not if its in my face14. Do you believe in luck and miracles?

LMAO LUCK IS REAL HOW DO YOU THINK DUMB PEOPLE GET FAMOUS?15. What good thing happened this summer?

i dont remember 16. Would you kiss the last person you kissed again?

lmao no fuck them17. Do you think there is life on other planets?

UH YEAH...OBVIOUS18. Do you still talk to your first crush?

idek who it was19. Do you like bubble baths?

yes but they are bad for you vag so i dont do it20. Do you like your neighbors?

ew no. 21. What are you bad habits?

i have OCD so i guess my compulsions22. Where would you like to travel?

israel, UK, Poland, Canada, Austrailia23. Do you have trust issues?

YUP24. Favorite part of your daily routine?

coffee25. What part of your body are you most uncomfortable with?

stomach then boobs then arms and then pretty much everything else26. What do you do when you wake up?

eat breakfast while watching youtube

27. Do you wish your skin was lighter or darker?

im ok with it now?28. Who are you most comfortable around?

my parents/siblings29. Have any of your ex’s told you they regret breaking up?

yeah lmao30. Do you ever want to get married?

that’s gonna be a no from me dog31. If your hair long enough for a pony tail?

ya32. Which celebrities would you have a threesome with?

team free will, chris’ (evans, pratt, pine)33. Spell your name with your chin.

no.34. Do you play sports? What sports?

i used to play volleyball 35. Would you rather live without TV or music?

music. WATCH MUSIC ON THE TV.36. Have you ever liked someone and never told them?

all the damn time.37. What do you say during awkward silences?

nothing.38. Describe your dream girl/guy?

OKOKOKOKOKOKOKOKO....

black curly hair, pun and meme connoisseur, loves dogs, loves horror movies

my aesthetic boy type is: people who look like kurtis conner basically39. What are your favorite stores to shop in?

American Eagle, Bath and Body Works, Victoria Secret. But i go into forever 21 to just hate on everything then leave without buying stuff.40. What do you want to do after high school?

im in college now and im majoring in anthropology41. Do you believe everyone deserves a second chance?

depends on the severity of the sin/crime42. If your being extremely quiet what does it mean?

im seriously traumatized and have shut down.43. Do you smile at strangers?

yeah i feel bad if i dont 44. Trip to outer space or bottom of the ocean?

outerspace45. What makes you get out of bed in the morning?

the fact it costs money to live so i have to get up if i want money46. What are you paranoid about?

nothing much anymore I have meds for paranoia now47. Have you ever been high?

no i got asthma48. Have you ever been drunk?

yeah its fun49. Have you done anything recently that you hope nobody finds out about?

no im an average person i dont do weird things50. What was the colour of the last hoodie you wore?

green!51. Ever wished you were someone else?

YEAH WTF DOESNT EVERYONE?52. One thing you wish you could change about yourself?

how i look53. Favourite makeup brand?

tarte or benfit54. Favourite store?

starbucks55. Favourite blog?

animatedtext56. Favourite colour?

GREEEEEEN I ONLY WEAR GREEN AND BLACK57. Favourite food?

sushi 58. Last thing you ate?

ice cream59. First thing you ate this morning?

i think cereal60. Ever won a competition? For what?

volleyball and county art contest61. Been suspended/expelled? For what?

i got expelled for not wearing sleeves when i had self harm scars62. Been arrested? For what?

no63. Ever been in love?

ya :/64. Tell us the story of your first kiss?

too long but it wasnt awkward and it was on the harbor with an emo guy65. Are you hungry right now?

nah im constipated66. Do you like your tumblr friends more than your real friends?

i dont have tumblr friends :////////////67. Facebook or Twitter?

twitter 68. Twitter or Tumblr?

tumblr69. Are you watching tv right now?

no youtube70. Names of your bestfriends?

Abbey Mell Nikki71. Craving something? What?

to shit tbh72. What colour are your towels?

white and purple and blue72. How many pillows do you sleep with?

373. Do you sleep with stuffed animals?

embarassing but ya74. How many stuffed animals do you think you have?

idk i have several stored so im guessing 40-45?75. Favourite animal?

piggies raccoons dogs 76. What colour is your underwear?

white and black77. Chocolate or Vanilla?

chocolate78. Favourite ice cream flavour?

cinnamon, blueberry, bubblegum, chocolate covered strawberries, oreo79. What colour shirt are you wearing?

green80. What colour pants?

black81. Favourite tv show?

S U P E R N A T U R A L

82. Favourite movie?

lots final destination and heathers83. Mean Girls or Mean Girls 2?

mean girls84. Mean Girls or 21 Jump Street?

mean girls85. Favourite character from Mean Girls?

karen smith86. Favourite character from Finding Nemo?

dont like finding nemo so idk87. First person you talked to today?

my parents88. Last person you talked to today?

my parents SORRY IM LAME89. Name a person you hate?

trump, rosie, loren, danielle, jacob, pence, so many more90. Name a person you love?

my dog remington91. Is there anyone you want to punch in the face right now?

always92. In a fight with someone?

no93. How many sweatpants do you have?

394. How many sweaters/hoodies do you have?

10????95. Last movie you watched?

greta- not very good96. Favourite actress?

winon ryder97. Favourite actor?

all the chris’ and all of supernatural actors change my fucking mind.98. Do you tan a lot?

never99. Have any pets?

1 dog100. How are you feeling?

sad :/101. Do you type fast?

yep102. Do you regret anything from your past?

MY ENTIRE EXISTENCE103. Can you spell well?

???? like grammar or spell the word well104. Do you miss anyone from your past?

always105. Ever been to a bonfire party?

no ive never been invited anywhere i was bullied a lot106. Ever broken someone’s heart?

yeah felt really bad, i rejected someone’s homecoming invite107. Have you ever been on a horse?

yeah as a baby108. What should you be doing?

homework109. Is something irritating you right now?

everything110. Have you ever liked someone so much it hurt?

have you seen my account?111. Do you have trust issues?

yup112. Who was the last person you cried in front of?

my parents113. What was your childhood nickname?

mosh, moshi, mashalala114. Have you ever been out of your province/state?

yep to oregon washington hawaii and colorado and poland and germany115. Do you play the Wii?

used to116. Are you listening to music right now?

no117. Do you like chicken noodle soup?

ye118. Do you like Chinese food?

YE119. Favourite book?

probably beastly i read that so many times and how to ruin your boyfriends reputations120. Are you afraid of the dark?

nah121. Are you mean?

idk122. Is cheating ever okay?

I’d say no123. Can you keep white shoes clean?

NOPE124. Do you believe in love at first sight?

haha no.125. Do you believe in true love?

doubt it but it’s possible126. Are you currently bored?

no127. What makes you happy?

S U P E R N A T U R A L

128. Would you change your name?

probably 129. What your zodiac sign?

gemini130. Do you like subway?

it’s aight131. Your bestfriend of the opposite sex likes you, what do you do?

i wouldnt date a friend132. Who’s the last person you had a deep conversation with?

sister133. Favourite lyrics right now?

hey hey mama just the way you move gonna make you sweat gon make you move134. Can you count to one million?

i refuse135. Dumbest lie you ever told?

i cant my blood hurts136. Do you sleep with your doors open or closed?

closed137. How tall are you?

5′7″-5′8″138. Curly or Straight hair?

wavy139. Brunette or Blonde?

brunette orange140. Summer or Winter?

summer141. Night or Day?

night142. Favourite month?

october143. Are you a vegetarian?

no144. Dark, milk or white chocolate?

dark145. Tea or Coffee?

both!146. Was today a good day?

it’s aigh147. Mars or Snickers?

snickers148. What’s your favourite quote?

“they may forget what you did or what you said but never how you made them feel”149. Do you believe in ghosts?

yup150. Get the closest book next to you, open it to page 42, what’s the first line on that page?

im too lazy(via itsgracesdrunkmametown)

2 notes · View notes

rinniekins · 6 years ago

Note

All remaining questions on the cute ask! Have fun writing (о´∀`о)

:^) fuck

6. What kind of people are you attracted to?kind and friendly, with a great sense of humor! also just,,, pure?? people like I can’t really explain it that well asfhdsfkjhsk but just overall gOOD PEOPLE with good intentions and warm hearts

7. Do you think you’ll be in a relationship two months from now?probably not lol

8. Who from the opposite gender is on your mind?no one, except my asshole father who can just go and fuck himself for all I care

9. Does talking about sex make you uncomfortable?yyeeah kind of..

13. Do you like it when people play with your hair?if it’s a person that I trust then yes, otherwise no

14. Do you believe in luck and miracles?uhhh maybe? or more like I hope those exist lmao

16. Would you kiss the last person you kissed again?:^) stillhaven’tkissedhhahaha..ha

17. Do you think there is life on other planets?yes

18. Do you still talk to your first crush?uhh like first crushcrush? no, but like the first actual real big ass crush? yes

19. Do you like bubble baths?never been in one

20. Do you like your neighbors?yes, most of them are really nice and I try to talk to them whenever I just happen to run into them

21. What are your bad habits?there’s way too many of them so I definitely won’t start listing all of them but procrastination and overthinking are definitely one of the worst ones

22. Where would you like to travel?Japan, definitely! though it won’t be happening in a looong time but maybe somewhere in the future I hope

23. Do you have trust issues?yes.

25. What part of your body are just most uncomfortable with?……. honestly pretty much almost everything lmao but face, legs and butt mostly hhaaha..ha

26. What do you do when you wake up?stay in bed for like half an hour thinking about how tired I am and most likely scrolling through Tumblr on my phone lmao

27. Do you wish your skin was lighter or darker?darker, I hate getting sunburned so easily

29. Have any of your ex’s told you they regret breaking up?it’s uhhhhhhm complicated..

30. Do you ever want to get married?maybe? now that it’s finally legal here anyway

31. Is your hair long enough for a ponytail?no

32. Which celebrities would you have a threesome with?lol no one

34. Do you play any sports? What sports?no

35. Would you rather live without TV or music?TV, I don’t really watch it that much nowadays anyway and I definitely couldn’t live without music

36. Have you ever liked someone and never told them?yes, that’s what I always do rip

37. What do you say during awkward silences?uhhhh it really depends on the situtation but I’ll just try to say something that just comes to mind to break the silence omg

38. Describe your dream girl/guy?basically just a girl I can really connect with, someone kind and patient with a good sense of humor and someone who just accepts everything about me and all that stuff skhdshgh

39. What are your favorite stores to shop in?flea markets aAAAa also video game shops hkjshgk

40. What do you want to do after high school?wELL I’m just trying to find a job rn so

41. Do you believe that everyone deserves a second chance?no. unfortunate but no, definitely not everyone.

42. If you’re being extremely quiet what does it mean?it can mean a lot of things lol but I’m probably nervous or tired or angry, depends

43. Do you smile at strangers?yes absolutely!

44. Trip to outer space or bottom of the ocean?outer space! bottom of the ocean fascinates me a lot too but it also scares the shit out of me omg, PLUS I can’t even swim so

45. What makes you get out of bed in the morning?my friends, my cats, all the upcoming series and video games and everything I’m possibly looking forward to

46. What are you paranoid about?…. uhhhh a lot of things

47. Have you ever been high?no

48. Have you ever been drunk?no

49. Have you done anything recently that you hope no one finds out about?uhhhhm yes

50. What was the color of the last hoodie you wore?I really can’t remember omg it’s been a while since I’ve worn one bc it’s been so hot but most likely black or dark green

51. Ever wished you were someone else?mmmh no… that idea just freaks me out in a way

52. One thing you wish you would change about yourself?being more social and brave and ughhh idk

53. Favorite makeup brand?I don’t knooow I don’t wear makeup anymore really bc I’m lazy lmao

54. Favorite store?uhhhHH I don’t know

55. Favorite blog?pretty much all of my mutuals’!

57. Favorite food?s a l a dalso tortillas tho

58. Last thing you ate?uhhhh idk what is it called in english but good stuff made out of zucchini omg

59. First thing you ate this morning?uhhhh I think it was crispbread

60. Ever won a competition? For what?uhhh nooo…? at least I can’t remember lol

61. Been suspended/expelled? For what?nope

62. Been arrested? For what?noope

63. Ever been in love?yes

64. Tell us the story of your first kiss?-

65. Are you hungry right now?no

66. Do you like your Tumblr friends more than your real friends???????? my “Tumblr friends” are my real friends wtf what kinda question is this

67. Facebook or Twitter?I don’t really use neither but uh Twitter

68. Twitter or Tumblr?Tumblr

69. Are you watching TV right now?no

70. Names of your best friends?eeeeh I don’t think I’ll tell them bc idk if they want their real names written here lol

71. Craving something? What?human touch pls I want cuddles right now immediately fuck

72. What color are your towels?uh mostly white

72. How many pillows do you sleep with?two also turns out that there’s two 72 questions lmao

73. Do you sleep with stuffed animals?yes

74. How many stuffed animals do you think you have?a lot.

75. Favorite animal?FOX!!

76. What color is your underwear?black

77. Chocolate or vanilla?chocolate

78. Favorite ice cream flavor?chocolate again

79. What color shirt are you wearing?uhhh ivory white with a cute fox on it aAAAa it’s my pjs lmao

80. What color pants?ivory white again with even more foxes on them lmao

81. Favorite TV show?I literally have no idea, I really don’t watch TV pretty much at all nowadays

82. Favorite movie?there’s tOO MANY OF THEM but uh Princess Mononoke and pretty much all of Studio Ghibli’s movies, Pokémon The First Movie: Mewtwo Strikes Back, Wolf Children… there’s a lot.

83. Mean Girls or Mean Girls 2?what.

84. Mean Girls or 21 Jump Street???????????

85. Favorite character from Mean Girls?wHAT

86. Favorite character from Finding Nemo?Dory!

87. First person you talked to today?my mom

88. Last person you talked to today?uhhhh like, talked talked? my mom again lol

89. Name a person you hate?am I supposed to choose just one

90. Name a person you love?all of my friends!!

91. Is there anyone you want to punch in the face right now?yes.

92. In a fight with someone?not really

93. How many sweatpants do you have?I haven’t really counted lmao but quite a few

94. How many sweaters/hoodies do you have?a LOT

95. Last movie you watched?Kingdom Hearts 358/2 Days

96. Favorite actress?aaaAAAH I don’t knoooow there’s so many, but Gal Gadot!

97. Favorite actor?I don’t knoooooooow

98. Do you tan a lot?no, it’s the complete opposite rip. I either get just sunburned or get even more freckles

99. Have any pets?yesss! two cats, called Minni and Jimi

101. Do you type fast?yes

102. Do you regret anything from your past?don’t we all

103. Can you spell well?yeahh at least I think so

104. Do you miss anyone from your past?yes.

105. Ever been to a bonfire party?no

106. Ever broken someone’s heart?yes.

107. Have you ever been on a horse?yes

108. What should you be doing?I don’t know, sleep probably

109. Is something irritating you right now?my father lol

110. Have you ever liked someone so much it hurt?yes

111. Do you have trust issues?uhhh yes this question came up the second time omg

112. Who was the last person you cried in front of?my mom

113. What was your childhood nickname?I didn’t really have one, my name is so short lol

114. Have you ever been out of your province/state?I don’t live in America sfsdkjhgh

115. Do you play the Wii?no

116. Are you listening to music right now?actually not, which is odd

117. Do you like chicken noodle soup?noooo I don’t eat meat

118. Do you like Chinese food?yeah

119. Favorite book?Varjak Paw

120. Are you afraid of the dark?not exactly the dark itself but what could be hiding there, especially if I’m outside and it’s dark

121. Are you mean?no, at least I hope so

122. Is cheating ever okay?no

123. Can you keep white shoes clean?depends on the season and weather really lmao, buuut most likely not rip

124. Do you believe in love at first sight?no

125. Do you believe in true love?I think so?

126. Are you currently bored?nope

127. What makes you happy?my friends, animals, video games, nature shdhgk

128. Would you change your name?nah

129. What is your Zodiac Sign?Scorpio

130. Do you like Subway?mmmh it’s fine

131. Your bestfriend of the opposite sex likes you, what do you do?I’d just say that sorry but I’m gay and it’s not gonna happen

132. Who was the last person you had a deep conversation with?again a same question for the second time huh, but @kinjaru

133. Favorite lyrics right now?aaaaah I really can’t decide

134. Can you count to one million?uhhhhh I don’t know, I’d probably mess up at some point lmao

135. Dumbest lie you ever told?uh there’s probably quite a few omg

136. Do you sleep with your doors open or closed?almost closed but just enough space so that my cats can come and go as they please

137. How tall are you?158cm, as in about 5′2″

138. Curly or straight hair?bOTH, but does this mean like my hair? if so then straight

139. Brunette or blonde?both, except brunette for myself

140. Summer or winter?winter

141. Night or day?night

142. Favorite month?Novemberrr bc it’s my birthday month akshfksh

143. Are you a vegetarian?yes

144. Dark, milk, or white chocolate?aaahh I like them all

145. Tea or coffee?tea

146. Was today a good day?yeah I guess so

147. Mars or Snickers?aaahhh Mars

148. What is your favorite quote?be who you are and say what you feel because those who matter don’t mind and those who mind don’t matter

149. Do you believe in ghosts?yes

150. Get the closest book next to you, open it to page 42, what’s the first line on that page?Se imi kylmää yöilmaa keuhkoihinsa, katsoi tutkivasti valtaisaa muuria, toisiinsa kietoutuneita oksia - oli näkevinään valkoisen, viiksikarvanohuen kuun korkealla yläpuolellaan.

Cute Questions

#oH MY GOD THAT WAS A LOT JESUS CHRST #FHDHGHGKJFHDSGKJSH #laamanautti #answered

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nikeaguaraguzu · 5 years ago

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Diana was a bit... stuck in the past. She grew up rocking with disco music. Oh, how she wished she could go back to the 70's! Why did people stop liking disco in the blink of an eye? She had a mission: Bring. Back. Disco. She trained her voice, so that even Aretha Franklin would be proud of her. She had the funkiest dance moves. She had the looks. ... But she didn't have an audience. Disco just wasn't popular. Diana almost gave up. Some years later, in a backyard sale, she found a Necklace. It had a green worn-out crystal, and golden band. Something beckoned her to it. She tried the necklace in her house, in front of a mirror, and she almost screamed when she saw herself: dozens of crystal shards, of different colors, started growing out of her body. Her afro seemed like a starry night, with so many bright jewels on it. But she did not fear. She sang. And when each note left her lips, the crystals amitted a bright light, of vibrant colors. She knew why the necklace beckoned her. She had the voice. She had the looks. And now, she had a way of making everyone look her way. She herself would be the Disco. She would be the disco ball and the stage lights. The audience would be dazzled by her. ----------------------------------------------------------- Nowadays, Di'Aman is the top diva. Whenever she is in concert, the whole city lightens up. Literally. Her equipment: a custom diamond headset microphone. Her hands need to be free to dance. Her logo: made by her fans, with her face and her signature, and she gladly started using it. Every screen shows it, to demonstrate how much she loves her fans. Her amulet: the necklace. Di'Aman doesn't know anything about it. But she doesn't care. It is a part of her now. With time, crackles have started appearing on the crystal. Her powers have had no change, yet. But she cannot help but to think... "what will happen if it breaks? Will I too be shattered?" No. No time for brooding. Her fans need her. And people need Disco. Aaaaaah. This took me a while to make. And my computer almost crashed multiple times with so many lights and sparkles. So i said enough is enough. But I like it. My entry for the Arcane Idol Original Character Challenge on DA.

Posted using PostyBirb

#nikeart #afro #arcane #idol #black #concert #crystal #dazzle #diamant #disco #discoball #diva #gems #lights #microphone #shine #singlasses #show #arcaneidolocc

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pippistudies · 7 years ago

Text

92 Statements Tag!

Rules: Answer / complete the statements and tag 20 people [optional].

Tagged by the lovely @haydenstudiesblog

gonna tag: @whovianstudies @girlwithastethoscope @cupoftea-studies and @em-is-studying

LAST:

1. Drink - some good old fashioned water 2. Phone call - my mum 3. Text message - my bff 4. Song you listened to - love by lana del rey 5. Time you cried - today :)

HAVE YOU:

6. Dated someone twice - kinda 7. Kissed someone and regretted it - yes 8. Been cheated on - no 9. Lost someone special - yessss 10. Been depressed - yes 11. Gotten drunk and thrown up - duhhhh

3 FAVORITE COLORS:

12-14: basically all the pastel colours you can think of

IN THE LAST YEAR HAVE YOU:

15. Made new friends - ...nope 16. Fallen out of love - no 17. Laughed until you cried - yes! 18. Found out someone was talking about you - yes 19. Met someone who changed you - no 20. Found out who your friends are - yes 21. Kissed someone on your Facebook list - yes

GENERAL:

22. How many Facebook friends do you know in real life? like probably 4 23. Do you have any pets? a doggie named Amy 24. Do you want to change your name? yes please my name makes me sound like I'm straight out of the 19th century 25. What did you do your last birthday? i was on holiday in Croatia and i went out for dinner and drinks with my bff 26. What time did you wake up? 9:00 AM 27. What were you doing at midnight last night? buzzfeed quizzes on my bed hahahah 28. Name something you can’t wait for: moving to London in September! 29. When was the last time you saw your mom? two days ago. she's a busy woman 30. What’s one thing you wish you could change in your life? nothing really, I’ve got to that point in my life where i embrace things as they are but if theres one thing id change is that i wish i could learn to be more disciplined 31. What are you listening to right now? malibu by Miley Cyrus 32. Have you ever talked to a person named Tom? yup! 33. Something that is getting on your nerves - boredom 34. Most visited websites - Facebook, youtube and instagram

RANDOM:

35. Mole(s) - A LOT 36. Mark(s) - stretch marks :) 37. Childhood dream - become either a lawyer or a therapist (or a nun cause i went to catholic schools all my life) 38. Hair color - weird combo of ashy blonde and light brown 39. Long or short hair - medium 40. Do you have a crush on someone? HELL YES also i have a crush on Colin Firth, Gal Gadot, Cate Blanchett and Benedict Cumberbatch 41. What do you like about yourself? I love the fact that i have so many interests (especially in academic fields) like I adore science but i also love philosophy and politics and psychology and aaaaaah literally everything 42. Piercings - when i was 16 i went through a rebel phase and got not only a belly button piercing (twice cause it got infected cause I'm a lazy mess) but also a piercing on the side of my lower lip don't remember what they're called 43. Blood type - A positive 44. Nickname - carli 45. Relationship status - veeeeeeery complicated 46. Zodiac sign - leo 47. Pronouns - She/her 48. Favorite TV Shows - Sherlock (BBC), House, MD, Breaking Bad, Broadchurch, Downton Abbey and I’d say Doctor Who but i hate moffatt sooo 49. Tattoos - so technically yes, but I'm getting it removed just because it doesn't really suit me anymore, I got when i was 16 during my rebel phase and now its just not me anymore (and oh boy is laster removal painful) 50. Right or left hand - lefty forever and ever 51. Surgery - I’ve had one when i was a child 52. Hair dyed in different color - i wanted to be ginger so badly i died my hair ginger for like 2/3 years 53. Sport - I played volleyball in middle school and then slowly transitioned into the lazy ass person i am today 54. Was missing from the previous person’s post. 55. Vacation - name a european country and I've probably been

56. Pair of trainers - i don't really wear trainers i just have a pair of tommy Hilfiger navy blue trainers

MORE GENERAL:

57. Eating - any junk food you can think of has probably been in my stomach 58. Drinking - water cause I like being a hydrated bitch 59. I’m about to - go cry myself to sleep ;) 60. mood: exhausted 61. Waiting for - sleep 62. Want - to be free, to be at peace with the world, to get a PhD :) and to be happy 63. Get married - hopefully 64. Career - research scientist? or maybe public health expert and adviser to the government? WHO career? I DUNNO

WHICH IS BETTER:

65. Hugs or kisses - Hugs 66. Lips or eyes - lips 67. Shorter or taller - taller 68. Older or younger - older 69. Movies or books? : mmmmh id say they're two different forms of art which i can appreciate equally so it depends maybe films 70. Nice arms or nice stomach arms but i really don't care 71. Sensitive or loud - sensitive 72. Hookup or relationship - relationship

73. Troublemaker or hesitant - hesitant

HAVE YOU EVER:

74. Kissed a stranger - yes 75. Drank hard liquor - yes 76. Lost glasses / contact lenses i have lost my glasses and it took me 3 hours to find them because i was very drunk :) 77. Turned someone down - yes :( 78. Sex on the first date - no 79. Broken someone’s heart - i hope not 80. Had your heart broken yaaaaaaas loved it :) 81. Been arrested - no 82. Cried when someone died - of course 83. Fallen for a friend - yes, my best friend and he doesn't know...i mean he probably knows and he probably loved me back...its complicated

DO YOU BELIEVE IN:

84. Yourself - yes 85. Miracles -no 86. Love at first sight - no 87. Santa Claus - no :( 88. Kiss on the first date - hey sure why not

OTHER:

89. (missing but I made this one up) favorite books: firestarter by stephen king, 1984 by george orwell and And then there were none by Agatha Christie 90. Current best friend’s name - clara 91. Eye color - blue gray 92. Favorite movie - pulp fiction by quentin tarantino

#92 questions tag #pippistudies

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lorettalivingston6911 · 6 years ago

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Aaaaaah! First Wonder Woman 2 Pics! Spoiler — Chris Pine Is Back!

I look younger now than when I was in my early 20s

In case you hadn't heard anything about the sequel to Wonder Woman, strap in -- because your plane is about to crash on an invisible island paradise!

First off, it takes place during the Cold War, and it's called Wonder Woman 1984. But even bigger than that...

[SPOILER ALERT FOR 2017's Wonder Woman!]

Despite Steve Trevor's demise in the first film -- and the fact the movie is set nearly 70 years later -- Chris Pine is back!

Video: Watch The Avengers Read Mean Tweets!

Gal Gadot shared the first look at '80s Diana on Twitter (below):

Wonder Woman 1984 #WW84 pic.twitter.com/aFei1Taqrt — Gal Gadot (@GalGadot) June 13, 2018

But it was director Patty Jenkins' tweet that has fans' minds boggled!

Welcome to WONDER WOMAN 1984, Steve Trevor! #WW84 pic.twitter.com/BCLARdVuTu — Patty Jenkins (@PattyJenks) June 13, 2018

WHAT???

How is he back? You know what? We're OK with any explanation at this point -- so long as we get their magical chemistry back!

All this and Kristen Wiig as a villain too!

What do YOU think of the first pics from Wonder Woman 1984??

[Image via Warner Bros..]

Real celebrity on the items

from LL Celeb Fueads https://ift.tt/2LKPIAa via IFTTT

#IFTTT #LL Celeb Fueads

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latoyarubalcava3546 · 6 years ago

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Aaaaaah! First Wonder Woman 2 Pics! Spoiler — Chris Pine Is Back!

In case you hadn't heard anything about the sequel to Wonder Woman, strap in -- because your plane is about to crash on an invisible island paradise!

First off, it takes place during the Cold War, and it's called Wonder Woman 1984. But even bigger than that...

[SPOILER ALERT FOR 2017's Wonder Woman!]

Despite Steve Trevor's demise in the first film -- and the fact the movie is set nearly 70 years later -- Chris Pine is back!

Video: Watch The Avengers Read Mean Tweets!

Gal Gadot shared the first look at '80s Diana on Twitter (below):

Wonder Woman 1984 #WW84 pic.twitter.com/aFei1Taqrt — Gal Gadot (@GalGadot) June 13, 2018

But it was director Patty Jenkins' tweet that has fans' minds boggled!

Welcome to WONDER WOMAN 1984, Steve Trevor! #WW84 pic.twitter.com/BCLARdVuTu — Patty Jenkins (@PattyJenks) June 13, 2018

WHAT???

How is he back? You know what? We're OK with any explanation at this point -- so long as we get their magical chemistry back!

All this and Kristen Wiig as a villain too!

What do YOU think of the first pics from Wonder Woman 1984??

[Image via Warner Bros..]

0 notes

agatha-abstinent · 8 years ago

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Tag 686 / Wie Eisschollen auf der Spree

Gebrochen, bevor es stabil genug war, um darauf zu gehen, zu stehen, zu bauen. Eis gebrochen. Sich anbahnende Freundschaft gebrochen. Herz gebrochen. Hoffnung auch. Selbstannahme trotz Selbstbehauptung gebrochen.

Sie macht ein Portraitfoto von uns auf der Brücke. Ich fotografiere das Eis auf dem Fluss.

Drei Stunden vorher am Kotti: Mir-steht-die-ganze-Welt-offen-Gefühl. Glücklich trocken in dem Moment. Was nicht lange anhielt, weil das von mir ausgesuchte Café "wegen eines technischen Defekts" überraschend geschlossen war. Bums. Mega Enttäuschung. Mega down. Hilflos, überfordert, starr. Dann umgeguckt. Vorschlag per Textnachricht von ihr, die eine halbe Stunde später als verabredet da sein wird. Weit zu gehen, aber ok, Annahme. Beim Reingehen direkt von riesiger Bar, Theke, Zapfhähnen, Spirituosen erschlagen. Platz gefunden, ohne das im Blickfeld zu haben, dafür aber ein großes, gefülltes Weizenbierglas. Musik laut, Tischgesprächsfetzen anstrengend, Suchtmittelkonsum. Mir war nach CAFÉ! Also gehen wir zu einem Café, als sie ankommt und ich darum bitte.

Dort stimmen all die Rahmenbedingungen, damit meine hochsensible Seele sich wohlfühlt. Doch der Gesprächsinhalt, der stimmt bald nicht mehr.

Ärzte würden nur Diagnosen vergeben, damit sie was abrechen können... Die Wirkung von Antidepressiva sei überhaupt noch nicht richtig erforscht... Man wisse gar nicht, welche Langzeitfolgen das habe... Bei Krankheit X müsse man Medikamente nehmen, damit das nicht wieder ausbricht, das sei was anderes... Die Therapeutin habe nicht dasselbe durchgemacht wie ich, sie würde sich nicht auskennen, und wenn, nur aus der Theorie... Ich wisse ja gar nicht wie es ohne Medikamente ist... Ich sei ja gar nicht in Kontakt mit mir selbst... Wenn ich in der suizidalen Krise damals eine Sponsorin gehabt hätte...

"Das ist doch Schwachsinn! Da hätte mir keine Sponsorin geholfen!" An dem Punkt unterbreche ich sie heftig, an dem Punkt schießt es emotional hochgeladen aus mir. Auf all die anderen Thesen, Behauptungen, Aussagen habe ich auch schon energisch reagiert, aber in der Sache argumentiert. "Das ist doch Schwachsinn!" hätte ich auf jeden ihrer Sätze zum Thema sagen können. Zu welchem Thema eigentlich? "Psychische Erkrankungen und ihre Behandlung"? Zum Thema "Ist Sucht eine psychische Krankheit?" "Wie genest man von Sucht?"

Auf dem Klo habe ich kurz geweint. Dann sind wir gegangen, fast, als wäre nichts.

Die sich seit letztem Jahr anbahnende Freundschaft auslaufen lassen von Neukölln über Kreuzberg nach Friedrichshain.

Auf diesem Weg aus belanglosen Bla-Themen noch mindestens viermal das Streitgespräch wieder aufgegriffen. Verteidigungsmodus. Klarstellungszwang.

Nach der Verabschiedung Kiosk gegenüber gesehen. Konsumgedanken. Vielleicht auch Konsumwunsch. Richtig Druck ist das nicht. Doch all diese Gefühle würde ich jetzt gerne nicht spüren, all diese Gedanken, die die Begegnung ausgelöst hat, wegmachen. Noch 200 Meter die Straße raufgegangen, dann den Betreuer-auf-Abruf angerufen.

Der glaubt an mich: "Sie kriegen das Wochenende rum." Fünfter Gedanke: Ja, mit Sexchats. Sechster Gedanke: Lavendelöl kaufen, einige Tropfen in Schüssel mit warmem Wasser, Handtuch nassmachen, aufs Gesicht legen. Frühere Gedanken: Zeit- und Kraftverschwendung war dieses Treffen. Selbstvorwürfe: Warum nicht eher gegangen?

"Sie sind ein sehr sensibler Mensch." 'Sie sind sehr sensibel' wäre schöner gewesen, mit vier S-Worten. Aber ja, ich bin Mensch. Nicht vollkommen.

Ans Saufen gedacht. Was akut geholfen hat: Schreiben Anrufen Vier Minuten Gespräch "Ich möchte nur mal kurz mit einem gesunden Menschen sprechen." Weinen Fotos machen Aromaölmix von der Aromatherapeutin auf Handgelenke, hinter die Ohrläppchen Weiter Schreiben Und möglichst alles so machen wie geplant. Einkaufen für die Katze und für mich.

Es läuft jetzt das Notfallprogramm seit 17.25 Uhr. Und das heißt auch: Ich darf mir Gutes tun. Ziegenkäse, Fenchelsalami, Pizza, Bravo und Zweige kaufen. Ich darf mich loben. Versuchen, zu lieben.

Und da kann ich fast schon wieder sagen: Danke. Danke, dass das so scheiße war. Dass die so war. Verletzend, ohne es sein zu wollen. Weltfremd, naiv, kurzsichtig. Doch auch diskriminierend, faschistisch, radikal. Wenn jemand sie als Sponsorin wünscht, der Antidepressiva nimmt, würde sie das ablehnen. Es tut mir leid, dass sie so schlechte Erfahrungen mit dem Gesundheitssystem gemacht hat. Aber es tut noch mir noch viel mehr leid für jeden, dem sie "die helfende Hand" verweigert, weil er Medikamente nimmt, nehmen muss.

Frauen, die Alkoholikerinnen waren, wurden in der NS-Zeit zwangssterilisiert. Frauen und Männer, die mit meinen Beschwerden in der NS-Zeit auffällig wurden, zu Ärzten gingen oder in Kliniken waren, wurden getötet.

Menschen wie ich hatten vor 72 Jahren keine Lebensberechtigung. Sie waren ausgegrenzt. Und diese Denke hat sich leider selbst in Menschen erhalten, die jünger sind als 70, als 60, als 50, als 40...

So wie die ist, die ich traf, schickt sie manche in den Wahnsinn. In den selbst- und/oder fremdschädigenden Wahnsinn. Und DIE MACHT KRANKENHAUSARBEIT! Die stellt NA in Einrichtungen vor, die “keine Ahnung” haben, die ja "nur die Theorie" kennen. Aaaaaah! Wie kann man Zeug genommen haben, das erwiesenermaßen psychische Krankheiten hervorruft, verschlimmert... aber bei medikamentöser Behandlung derer solche Ansichten haben?

Ich lerne in diesen Anonymen Programmen / Gruppen, andere so zu nehmen wie sie sind, wenn ich mich nicht auskenne (über Kindererziehung, über trocken Arbeiten, über Parkzonenbewirtschaftung, über Tomatenanbau und künstliche Darmausgänge) die Klappe zu halten, ich lerne auch immer noch, Vorurteile abzulegen, - alle sind gleich - jeder geht den Weg wie er für ihn / sie richtig und gangbar ist. Darum tu ich ihr Denken auch nicht als das eines drogengeschädigten Hirns ab. Ich sehe sowohl in mir als auch in dem anderen den Mensch, der mehr ist als seine Störungen, seine Diagnosen, seine vergangenen Taten. Doch ihre Vorurteile grenzen aus, stigmatisieren.

Ich kann mit Freundinnen unterschiedliche Meinungen haben. Über Fußballvereine Über Kunst Über Essen Über Kleidung Aber genau wie mit Jenny endet Freundschaft, wenn die Meinungen über meine Krankheit gefährlich weit auseinander gehen, und / oder unterschiedliche Moralvorstellungen bei mir große Empörung hervorrufen. Bei ihr ist beides der Fall und noch viel mehr.

Aus meiner (Familien-)Geschichte heraus, mit meinem Weltbild, meinen ethischen und moralischen Grundsätzen, ja, auch mit meinem F-Diagnosen-Strauß, kann und möchte ich den Kontakt mit ihr beenden, weiß aber noch nicht wie ich das mitteile.

#Enttäuschung #Verletzung #Kränkungen #Diskriminierung #emotionalinstability #Sensibilität #Gefühlswucht #Tränen #Rückfallgefahr #Notfallplan #Skills #Selbstfürsorge #Abgrenzung #F-Diagnosen

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indiejones · 2 years ago

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THE ONLY ‘DA VINCI OF CINEMA’, & HIS DA VINCI CODE ! – “THE LOST 20 YRS OF THE GOD OF CINEMA!" ... MARKING 36 YEARS INTO THE BIGGEST WILD DETOUR IN CINEMA TREK ! ...THE STORY OF THE HOLY GRAVE UPON WHICH MODERN BOLLYWOOD STANDS !

The public story of the greatest one, Rajesh Khanna, can be told in 3 parts –

The 2nd part being the next 10 yrs or so of his life devoted largely to political activities.

SOMETHING DEEPLY WRONG WAS HAPPENING TO HIM...BEING DONE TO HIM, AS MOST’D SAY, IN HIS LAST YRS, THAT WE JUST COULDN’T PLACE A FINGER ON!

WHAT?????? AND WHY???????

THE LAST PERSON ON EARTH TO DESERVE THAT SORTA END.

Anyway, maybe all for the best, only God knows.

Ø https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pFbEjlloBYs

Very emotional all this. Yet got one thinking-

JUST WHAT WAS IT HE WAS TRYING TO SAY…RATHER THAT HE WANTED US TO SAY..THAT HE COULDN’T SAY HIMSELF????

AND SOMETHING INSIDE SAID – THIS, MAYBE T-H-I-S, IS WHAT HE WANTED US TALKING ABOUT ! ?

An audio he’d clearly recorded a few months, infact probably a year or so before passing away, going by his tonal quality in last few days of his life.

But his last (video) interview, just clearly suggesting how was expecting more outta his fans over something.

And so began our quest, in re-hearing & re-hearing it, in trying to fulfil this enormously great man’s last wish of us.

AND THE MORE WE STARTED HEARING….VOILA!

So let’s begin the grail quest – completing Kaka saheb’s last incomplete film, in the only genre he perhaps hadn’t attempted in his long, most eclectic career – A Treasure Hunt!

👇👇👇👇👇

( Verbatim Transcriptions of Rajesh Khanna's last (audio & video) recorded messages for his fans, released after his death. - Rajesh Khanna’s Actual ‘Aakhri Khat’ !

Ø https://www.tumblr.com/indiejones/710349965044678656/verbatim-transcription-of-rajesh-khannas-last?source=share )

Also his last video intvw of July 2012,has mention of ‘pachaas saal,ya jabse maine apna career shuru kiya’. ‘50 yrs back’,is that significant?

Also note the words “Kabhi kabhi mujhe aisa lagta hai” part. So are there more people & more contexts to this ‘Sau’ & ‘dus’, that we are supposed to decipher later??

PS. Also note how this audio portion is interspersed with a pic from his film ‘Safar’.

PS. Note how this above audio portion is spoken alongside pic from his film ‘Souten’.

Is this why he so dearly hoped his fans could fulfill his 'incomplete task' - Of protecting his legacy? Something he couldn't muster the courage to do himself, since the late 80's-early 90's, more & more for fear of being reduced to a cheap joke in the media. That's till the time he knew his end was near, in the final stages of cancer, when had nothing more to lose, & decided to go for it, so to say, as best as he & his ego artistically could? Remember the Havell's ad, the one he specifically chose to do, just before his death. AND NO ADS ALL LIFE, BEFORE IT ! HE COULD'VE DONE THOUSANDS OR SEVERAL HUNDREDS OF ADS, FOR EXORBITANT HIGHEST EVER SUMS, & NONE TO SAY NO TO THE EMPEROR OF ENTT, ALL THRU THE 90's! .. YET HE DIDN'T! NOT ONE! THEN WHY THIS?? IN THE LAST MONTH OF HIS LIFE??? ADS WEREN'T HIS THING, OR HIS ARTISTIC HIGH, AT ALL! THIS WAS ALL PLANNED BY HIM, JUST AS AN EXCUSE, TO GIVE HIS CODE, THE BEST SHOT AT REACHING HIS FANS! REMEMBER THE AD????? - " BABUMOSHAI. .. MERE FANS MUJHSE KOI NAHI CHHEEN SAKTA! .. MERE FANS HAMESHA MERE HI RAHENGE! " WE WERE SUPPOSED TO BE HIS BABUMOSHAI, AFTER HE WAS GONE. ANAND ACTUALLY THOUGHT, HIS REAL LIFE BABUMOSHAI, EACH ONE OF US FANS, WOULD WRITE ABOUT HIM, ABOUT ALL THAT HE'D LEFT BEHIND, TO UNCODE & TO PRESENT TO THE WORLD, AFTER HE WAS GONE. TO KEEP ANAND ALIVE. . . Phew. ..

Ok so let’s get back to our specific analysis.

Or does ‘Lekin’ mean ‘Le kin’?? But whose kin???

Kya ‘samajh len’ l??

( PERHAPS THIS !?

👇

1. https://www.tumblr.com/indiejones/726654132078985216/of-rajesh-khanna-dimple-kapadia?source=share

2. https://www.tumblr.com/indiejones/727050607837495296/the-weirdest-rumor-about-the-freemason-family?source=share

)

These are all the questions, & obviously no answers, that we can come up with.

Now let’s get to the 2 biggest, most complicated pts of this puzzle, pts 6 & 7, voluminous enuf in explanation to warrant a full blog by themselves!

6. First pt. 6.

6.a. “Main jab filmon mein aaya, toh mera koi godfather nahi tha, mera film mein koi rishtedaar, ya koi sar pe haath rakhne wala nahi tha”.

Now to the full phrase-

Ø https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pFbEjlloBYs

Now, first let’s try to decode some of the words being used herein.

‘United Producers’ – Does it refer to a consortium of media groups? Or to people controlling illegal trade of some kind, also in control of such media groups? Or maybe a mix of the two?

He’s stated in the very beginning how all the pieces of his puzzle are to be interpreted in context of “people known to him from before, who later meet in an unnatural setting”.

Now does the word ‘Times of India’ mean it by itself, or its acronym ‘Toi’, Toy?

All this too tough to provide concrete answers to, here.

All plausible quns, that we shall again not be able to provide concrete answers to.

(Blog on Freemasonry

👇

https://www.tumblr.com/indiejones/718873275475820544/freemasonry-indies-general-assessment-from?source=share )

The next line & pt onwards, is where things start getting very tricky, & very tough for bloggers like me to completely & unequivocally decipher, yet our research over this matter over several days, has broadly outlined 9 angles, each quite shocking in itself, also with the very loose evidentiary value available, that shall only be be able to offer broad outlines based on our (even if higher up) information.