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nightingaletrash · 1 year ago

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With a Little Help From My Friends 2/2

aaaaaaand part 2 of the Karlach Fix-It fic!

AO3

There was an acrid stink of sulphur that filled the workshop as Dammon melted down the unfinished infernal armour. The parts had been studiously dismantled, the leather and cloth being set aside should they be needed for another project some day, while the iron was carefully checked for impurities that might meddle with the mechanisms or prove too brittle even for a prototype. And while Nemeia couldn’t boast any real knowledge on the subject, it had evidently passed the test as Thulla had immediately handed roughly two thirds of the iron off to the smiths with the rest being thrown to one side for disposal.

Meanwhile Zanner and Nickles worked on the parts that their people had salvaged from the Steel Watch. Their work was rhythmic in its own way; they would each pick up a piece or part, lift it to their ear, strike it delicately with a hammer and then lifted it to listen again. The difference was indiscernible to Nemeia, but it was enough for them to form a small series of piles - rejects to be discarded of, ones suitable for use in the prototype, ones to be melted down for later, and the ones they intended to save as they were for the final product.

Between the sweltering heat of the forge, the constant bustle, and the stink of rotten eggs, Nemeia and the others decided to wait outside until Dammon and the gnomes were done.

For some, the stink of fish and brine wouldn't be an improvement over the sulphur, and the sun still beat down with its warm summer rays, and while the cool sea breeze more than made up for it, the sudden relative calm left open air to think and the ghost of Karlach began to buzz in her ears once more.

What was the point? I’m still dying. I’m dying. I’m going to die!

The anguish burned in her ears as her chest tightened. She reached over her shoulder to grab her violin, as if tuning it would push the memory away. It was done. Gortash was dead, and now they were going to fix what he had done as best as they could. It wouldn’t be the same as getting her heart back, but it had to be better than dying.

You’ll just keep going, won’t you, Karlach accused. Watching the stars. Warming your hands on the campfire. Dancing, eating, making fucking love all night - all of it, all of it!

Her fingers trembled as she turned the pegs to tighten the strings, and she had to force away the crushing sensation in her chest because this wasn’t about her and her feelings. It was about Karlach. Karlach who had watched as Astarion struck down Cazador, saw Shadowheart reclaim her family from Viconia DeVir, and witnessed Wyll defy Hell itself to rescue his father from the Iron Throne and Mizora both. They all confronted the ones who had controlled and abused them, and they had all emerged from the other side a little less broken, a little more whole, with their lives finally back in their own hands after so many years at their mercy.

And now Karlach had finally faced her monster and had come away with nothing.

She had every right to be furious. They’d taken her heart. Taken everything. And as far as she knew, no one had any idea on how to get even a shred of it back.

What am I supposed to do now?

Live.

If Dammon and the gnomes did their job, all she’d ever have to do was live. Then she could watch the stars, warm her hands on the fire, sing and dance and eat and make love all night - she could do it all. Whatever she wanted, wherever she wanted. Even if she’d never have her heart back, she would have everything else.

The thought was enough to finally give her fingers their steadiness back, and she drew her bow and played a few notes to test her tuning. One string was much too tight, so she loosened it a little, and then began to play in earnest.

It was a tune she only vaguely recalled from her childhood. From a play when her mother took her on a trip to Neverwinter. It had been a story about a hero on a journey to try and stave off a sudden and inevitable death caused by a curse placed on them by a sorcerer. Of course, the hero had succeeded in the end, but had learned that there was much value in living life to the fullest instead of chasing tomorrow’s glory.

What had struck her as odd even then was the lack of a battle between the hero and the villain. Not five minutes after the curse was placed on the hero, their saviour arrived and abruptly killed off the villain altogether.

It had seemed an odd choice at the time. Why not give the hero the chance to be victorious over the one who had doomed them in the first place? Especially when it remained unclear as to how they were going to save themselves. At least, her young mind had thought, if the hero goes down, they know they’re taking their enemy with them.

Well she understood now. There was no satisfaction in destroying someone when you were just as doomed as they were. And that moment of understanding would have been a very hard sell for a show that was meant to be for children.

But the tune of the closing number had lurched into her mind unbidden, so that was what she chose to play. It was simple and catchy, and that was all it needed to be. Anything to stave off the idea that something might still go wrong and bring their plan crashing down around them.

As she played, the others took advantage of the brief chance to rest. In the sudden rush to try and get all the pieces for the new engine, that fight seemed so far away now. Like it had been days ago rather than hours, though the fact that his hand was still whole and intact in her pack rather than wasting away into sludge said otherwise.

Maybe once they’d dealt with this Murder Tribunal business, she’d let Karlach decide what to do with it and all of its gaudy jewellery. A final ‘fuck you’ to the bastard that had ruined her life.

Two hours were whiled away before Barcus emerged from the workshop, covered in soot and grease stains yet beaming broader than Nemeia had ever seen before.

“It’s perfect,” was all he said before beckoning them to come back inside.

They filed back into the workshop where Dammon and the gnomes were all admiring their hard work, and frankly, if Nemeia hadn’t known better, she might have thought that it was the real thing.

It was a contraption unlike any she had ever seen. The infernal casing was opened up to show the inner mechanisms that had been crafted as close to the shape of a real heart as was physically possible, the chambers all contracting and relaxing in rhythm with one another as the mechanisms whirred and the pistons pumped.

Yet as strange as it was, it was beautiful in its own way. Even though it was just a prototype, and even though she was no artificer, she could see the sheer amount of love that had gone into its creation. The perfection in the curves, the polished shine of the steel and iron, even its presentation on the table showed just how proud they all were of their work.

They had made this for Karlach. They did this to save her life. And they’d made it beautiful.

“We altered the design to make use of the existing framework that Karlach’s current engine uses,” Dammon explained. “If we ripped out everything that Zariel put in her, we’d have to rebuild her entire chest cavity, and that would leave her out of commission for months. So these-” He indicated to the pipes that tapered off and connected to nothing. “-will snap into place. It’ll be almost as fast as installing her upgrades, which puts much less stress on her body.”

“Dammon’s been vital to the process,” Barcus said brightly. “His understanding of infernal engineering allows us to account for everything this new engine will need to be capable of to cause as little disruption as possible.”

Dammon chuckled and shook his head. “You say that as if I didn’t nearly throw out all of your hard work for the sake of the infernal casing. If it weren’t for Thulla’s suggestion, it might have come to blows.”

“The heat build-up it could have caused was a very serious issue,” Zanner mused as he poured himself a cup of coffee - when was the last time he’d slept anyway?

“But it’s all been resolved now,” Barcus said reassuringly. “We need to run a couple of stress tests, but more for our own state of mind than anything.”

“Meaning you can go fetch the infernal iron,” Dammon added, “and Karlach. I’m sure she’ll want to see this for herself. Maybe make her own suggestions.” He added the last not with a cheeky grin and Nemeia giggled at the thought.

“I can imagine an engraving that says ‘Property of Karlach Cliffgate - fuck off Zariel’ would be her first thought.”

“If she doesn’t think to ask for that, I’ll definitely suggest it,” he laughed. “Go on now. We’ll get to work on the stress tests. Once we know for sure that it won’t burst into flames, and that Karlach is firmly on board, then we can get to work on putting the real thing together.”

[]

For all their talk of camping, the ‘camp’ that the party had set up in the city was actually just everyone cramming themselves into Nemeia and Kyreth’s family home and making do with the squeeze. But according to the message on the cabinet in the hallway, the others had all decided to clear out so that Karlach could have some space to herself.

It seemed that her dark mood had accompanied her home then.

While the others drifted off to tend to their own devices, Nemeia headed upstairs to her bedroom. Karlach was inside as predicted, sitting on the edge of the bed with a picture held gently by the tips of her fingers.

It was a small charcoal portrait of Nemeia and Kyreth when they were both much younger. Nemeia had been maybe five or six when she saw the artist on the corner of the street, being paid to draw passers-by, and she’d begged her mother for one.

He’d been delighted by her enthusiasm, and it had remained on her bedside table ever since.

Nemeia knocked on the door softly before stepping inside, and Karlach looked up.

“Hey soldier. You’re back.” She smiled though it didn’t quite meet her eyes, and she set the picture to one side.

“Still ‘soldier’ after all this time, huh?” Nemeia asked, only letting a small tease slip into her voice as she shut the door behind her. She noticed that Clive had moved from one end of the bed to the other but said nothing about it.

Karlach just shrugged. “Old habits. Did I miss anything while I was off having a sulk?”

“Oh if only you knew,” Nemeia laughed. “I did miss you though. It’s less fun without you around.”

“I missed you too,” Karlach sighed. She shook her head. “You know, I wouldn’t have bothered falling in love with you if I knew that saying goodbye was going to be so hard.”

Nemeia just smiled and moved to sit beside her.

“But what if you didn’t have to say goodbye? Not now, not tomorrow, not for a long, long time. What then?”

She sighed defeatedly.

“Don’t Nem. I’m trying to stay here, now, alive while I can. But it’s like my mind is being whittled down to the black hole that should’ve been our future.”

She ran a hand through her messy black and red mane, sparks flying off of her fingers as they brushed over the metal clasps in her braids. But Nemeia didn’t even flinch.

“But we have a future. A beautiful one,” she said firmly, unable to hold back her smile. “Maybe a short and violent one depending on how things go, but its there.”

And the smile caught Karlach’s eye. She frowned, her glowing amber eyes narrowing as if she was trying to figure out what the trick was.

“Alright… and why is that? Because if it turns out that you’re just that doppelganger freak Orin here to mess with me, I will literally split you in half with my axe,” she said sternly.

At that, Nemeia had to laugh and she shook her head.

“Karlach. You don’t have to die,” she said, unable to stop the smile spreading over her face at all. “After you left, one of the Gondians found us and said they’d found a way to help. Them, the Iron Hands, and even Dammon - they put their heads together and figured out a way.”

A beat passed as Karlach stared at her, utterly gobsmacked. Her eyes were wide and her jaw had gone slack. And then her engine threw off a telltale blue flare, like a heart skipping a beat. She was dumbstruck, unable to speak. Her mouth flapped a few times with effort, but no words came out. So Nemeia threaded her fingers through her’s and explained it all, from Lowa finding them at the bridge, to the prototype that Dammon and the others had built in just a few hours.

As she finished, there were tears pouring down Karlach’s face. Steam rolled off of the tracks, but the heat of her body couldn’t evaporate them fast enough as they raced down her cheeks and dripped onto their joined hands.

When she finally found her voice, she whispered, “...are you real? Or am I having a really cruel daydream right now?”

“I’m real, darling,” Nemeia pressed. “I’m real, it’s real, it’s happening. The only reason I didn’t come tell you straight away was because I had to be sure that it would work, or I’d never forgive myself for getting your hopes up just for them to get snatched away again. Not after what happened with Gortash.”

She disentangled one of her hands to cup Karlach’s face and thumbed away her tears.

“I know it’s not your real heart. If I could get that back and give it to you so that you’d never need another engine ever again, I would do it in a heartbeat. If I ever got a single Wish, it would be all I could ever wish for. But if I can’t do that, then the least I can do is make sure that you get to live on your terms. Not in Hell, but here, where you belong.”

At that, Karlach laughed wetly and shook her head.

“Are you actually sorry that you can’t just find my heart and put it back? Babe, it probably got eaten and shat out by imps years ago,” she said bluntly. “All I want is to live, and you and everyone else - you’re giving me that! Gods, I could kiss you, but if I do that now, I won’t be able to stop myself, and then what will Dammon and the others use to make my new engine? Besides, there’s gonna be so much time for kissing because… because I’m going to live…!”

And in a stark contrast to the utter despair and fury that had befallen her that afternoon, her face was now brimming with unbridled joy as she leapt to her feet and dragged Nemeia up with her.

“I’m going to live!” she shouted joyfully as she began to bounce and dance around the room. “I’m going to live, darling! We’ll get a house and a goat, and fuck it, you still want kids? I’m fucking down! Fuck yeah! We’ll get to travel! Oh man, we have to go to Athkatla, you missed out on so much when fuckface tried to possess you, and I can show you all the places we went, and hey, do you think Gale would let us stay at his place if we went to Waterdeep? I bet he’d let us stay, and he’d make us dinner and show us all the amazing stuff there is. I’ve always wanted to go to the Yawning Portal, and I’d love to get a proper cuddle with Tara too! And we can go on adventures with Wyll and kick some evil butt, I bet Minsc would love to come along for that! Ooh, and we can go on so many more dates!”

Laughter filled the room as they danced haphazardly together, the unbridled joy exploding out of them as Karlach’s eyes and chest glowed blue with excitement. The tears had all dried up. If there were more today, they would be tears of joy. But for now, there was only laughter and shouting and dancing.

And by the time they were done, Karlach was out of breath from shouting so much. Even as she giggled and spun around, clutching Nemeia to her chest, her voice was hoarse from use. But eventually she slowed down and pulled back, grinning from ear to ear.

“So, when do we get this new doo-hickey in my chest so we can put this Gortash bullshit behind us?”

“As soon as they’re done building it. Which they need infernal iron for.” Nemeia grinned. “So let’s grab what we have and head on down there, shall we?”

[]

As it turned out, the real engine was the ultimate test of patience for everyone involved. After Dammon performed a cursory check of Karlach’s engine, he determined that it would be a while longer before it gave out and recommended that the Gondians get some rest after their long ordeal under Gortash’s thumb - he and the Iron Hands would work together to get the parts and pieces made for assembly, and when everyone was rested and ready and at the peak of their ability, they’d bring it altogether to create the perfect engine for Karlach.

As it turned out, the best way to keep Karlach preoccupied until it was ready was to encourage her to write a list of all the things she would do once the Absolute was defeated.

To no one’s surprise, she wrote ‘Nem’ at the very top in bold letters.

“Do I need to cast Silence on your room tonight?” Gale jabbed when he glanced over at the list.

“Oh mate, every night,” Karlach laughed. “Probably wanna put one on them two as well while you’re at it.” She nodded in Kyreth and Halsin’s direction with a smirk. “I bet they’re just as bad.”

“Worse,” Kyreth said bluntly with a cat-like grin, and Nemeia pulled a face.

“Please do not make me confront the fact that those two have sex,” she groaned as she wrapped her arms around Karlach from behind. “Now what else do you want to do, besides me?”

Karlach tilted her head and made a pensive looking face as she tapped her pen against her chin. “Oi Shadowheart!”

The room burst into laughter as Nemeia slapped Karlach on the bicep playfully.

“Don’t even joke, you!” she said with a grin.

Shadowheart sprawled across her armchair with a dramatic sigh. “Ah, and to think I was this close to finally getting a piece of that big, beefy tiefling.”

“Dream on Princess, I was here first,” Nemeia laughed. “Now come on, seriously. You mentioned Athkatla yesterday. What do you want to do when we go there?”

“Whatever you do, don’t bring Lae’zel. She’ll murder your child before your very eyes,” Shadowheart interjected, earning an angry ‘chk’ from Lae’zel as she dragged a whetstone down her blade.

“The imp was returned to the Hells, not murdered,” she hissed derisively. “If you truly want it back so badly then by all means, delve into Avernus to rescue Bing Bong.”

“You set him on fire and splatted him on cobblestones.”

“He should have tried harder not to hit the cobblestones.”

“You threw him-!”

“Girls.”

Both of their mouths snapped shut as Kyreth eyed them with the imperious gaze of a mother and the argument came to an abrupt end. And just in time too, as there was a sudden rapping on the door. Kyreth stepped out into the hall to answer it.

“Ah, Lowa. This is about the engine?”

“Yes! Dammon’s doing some last stress tests, but its ready to go otherwise. We can do installation whenever Karlach’s ready-”

She barely finished the sentence before Karlach had leapt out of her chair and barged out to the front door with all the energy of an overexcited puppy.

“I’m ready now, let’s go, go, go!”

Everyone was up and moving without any instruction, doing their best to keep Karlach from immediately taking off without them while they locked up the house and shouldered their weapons. It was easier said than done because she just couldn’t seem to stop herself to the point that she started jogging in circles on the spot.

“Come on already, I’ll start carrying you all if it gets us there faster,” she groaned.

“It pays to be cautious when Shapechangers are on the loose, darling,” Astarion sighed. “Don’t want them rooting through our things while we’re gone. Imagine if they took Clive hostage next.”

“He’d fight them off, easy,” Karlach snorted, holding up her fists as if to demonstrate. “Now hurry up, let’s go!”

And they were off, heading down to the Gondian-Iron Hand workshop at the harbour. Karlach kept running ahead and having to wait for the rest to catch up, resulting in her bouncing on the balls of her feet impatiently. At least the passers-by seemed to find it amusing enough, judging from the bemused grins and giggles that followed them as they went.

When they reached the workshop, every last person who had pitched in on the engine was gathered in the main room with the fruit of their labour displayed on the table before them.

If Nemeia had thought the prototype was beautiful, then it was nothing compared to the real thing. It was sleek and compact, with the glowing infernal iron moulded into perfect shape for the casing. Everything was sleek and polished, and practically glowed in the lamp light, and everyone from engineer to alchemist to coffee-runner was beaming with pride as the party filed in.

Karlach was gobsmacked. With a quick glance for permission at Dammon - who nodded in assent - she stepped forwards to pick the engine up and examine it. It glittered from every angle. Everything fit together in a beautiful harmony, with so much love and care that nothing could be a more fitting tribute to its new owner. Then Dammon caught her attention and silently mimed opening it up with his hands. So she did so with an almost uncharacteristic care and gentleness, as if she was terrified to break it.

And there, on the heart inside, was an engraving that read:

Property of Karlach Cliffgate - fuck off Zariel.

“Well… fuck me,” she sniffed as tears welled up in her amber eyes.

“Do you like it?” Barcus asked tentatively, his mouth pressed into a thin line with nervousness.

“Like it? I love it,” she sobbed.

She set it back down tenderly, then strode around the table and scooped him up into her arms in a fierce hug. For a moment he was caught off-guard, but returned the hug with a brisk firmness and a wobbly smile on his face. Then once she released him, she turned to Dammon and pulled him into a hug next.

“Thank you,” she sobbed. “For everything.”

He grinned as he wrapped his arms around her back and squeezed hard.

“Don’t thank me. It was Zanner’s idea in the first place.” He pulled back. “I just chipped in.”

But Karlach just shook her head. “If it wasn’t for you, I wouldn’t have lived long enough to meet Zanner. Hell, I wouldn’t be able to touch anyone. You gave me so much already, and now you’re giving me the rest.” Her lip wobbled and her voice grew thick as she continued, “you’re giving me my whole life back.”

He squeezed her again and patted her shoulder before pulling away to give her the chance to rub the tears from her eyes. And when that was done, she continued with her hug train, giving a hug to every last person who had worked on her engine. The gnomes all looked a bit flustered at first, but otherwise were glowing with pride as the tiefling thanked each and every one of them.

When she was done, Dammon clapped her on the shoulder.

“Ready to get to work?”

She beamed brighter than the sun.

“So fucking ready, mate.”

[]

The house was packed to bursting that night, and the drinks were flowing. Wyll and Halsin had returned from a trip to the tavern, having procured three whole barrels of ale, and no one wasted any time in cracking them open and pouring out the drinks.

Karlach was the centre of attention with her new engine, despite Dammon’s repeated pleas for her to take it easy for a few hours at least. While no longer aflame with a hot orange flame glowing in her chest, her spirit was by no means reduced. If anything, she was more boisterous than ever. She bounded from room to room, hugging everyone she saw and dragging people out for dances more than once, and it didn’t seem like she was going to be slowing down any time soon.

Right now, Wyll was on the floor with her, both of them smiling and laughing and having the time of their lives as the alcohol flowed. Some of the Iron Hands had broken out into drunken singing, and the Gondians were taking the chance to just relax and enjoy themselves. Meanwhile Gale was in the kitchen, trying to figure out how much food he’d need to make to accommodate for everyone, and it seemed that Astarion had decided to ‘help’ - meaning he was hanging around and drinking wine while offering commentary. Shadowheart was once again in her armchair by the window, though this time with her own glass of wine, and she seemed more content with observing the festivities over joining in. The same could be said for Lae’zel who had slunk off upstairs to engage with martial exercises over chatter, though she appeared soon enough when Gale finally called for dinner to be served.

Halsin and Kyreth busied themselves in helping Gale with serving, doing their best to make sure that everyone got a portion, and soon enough, the noise died down to a general chatter as everyone settled in to eat.

By the time Dammon and the gnomes all departed, it was past midnight and it didn’t take long for everyone to decide that they were ready to retire for the night. There was a queue for the bathroom as usual, and nightly routines were carried out in short order before everyone shuffled off to their bunks for the night. But as Nemeia passed Gale as he stepped out of the bathroom, he winked at her discreetly before disappearing downstairs.

For a moment she was baffled, but upon opening and closing her bedroom door, she suddenly understood. The house outside of the room had suddenly fallen silent. No shuffling footsteps from downstairs or loud coughs from the other rooms. Just Nemeia and Karlach, who was sat on the bed humming to herself.

Clive was perched on a chair in the corner with his back to the bed.

“Thinking of your boy as always,” Nemeia joked as she approached.

“Of course,” Karlach chuckled. “I would never forgive myself if he got scarred for life.”

She sat expectantly on the edge of the bed. Her whole face glowed with boundless delight as her lover cupped her face and tilted it back. Nemeia ran her thumbs along her jaw, taking in the beautiful sight of her love filled with joy and hope, with her whole life ahead of her.

Then, without warning, Karlach wrapped her arms around Nemeia’s waist, tipped back on the bed and pulled her down with her, cackling with glee as her lover squealed in surprise. She pressed her lips to the delicate pink neck, then to her jaw, up her cheek, over her nose, down the other side and finally reached her mouth.

They melted into each other, hands finding purchase on shoulders or in hair, tugging their bodies together into a tangled mess. They rolled over, with Karlach taking her usual place on top of Nemeia where they paused briefly to gaze at one another.

A beat passed before Nemeia broke the silence.

“I love you so much,” she said softly.

“Well that’s good,” Karlach replied cheekily before she leaned in, her lips just barely grazing over Nemeia’s as she added, “because I plan on loving you for the rest of my life.”

The rest of her life… that sounded beautiful indeed.

#nightingale writes #bg3 #bg3 spoilers #karlach cliffgate #nemeia #nemeia/karlach #karlach x tav #dammon #barcus wroot #zanner toobin #fix-it fic

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stonerskinny · 20 days ago

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gonna ask my psych to refill my xanax prescription today. because nothing else works for my panic attacks without also putting me directly to sleep, and when i have them in the morning that’s not really an option.

got sick from getting too high yesterday. lmao. it appears i was very very wrong and i was NOT ready to leave res. but i cant go back there. so we will push through for as long as possible and i’ll just send myself ip in like december if i can’t get this shit under control.

today will be interesting. i have an intake appointment for a virtual iop, and then a therapy session, and then a psychiatry appt. i also am out of my morning meds for today aka im out of my abilify for today aka i will not be taking the med that seems to single-handedly stop my SI from getting uncontrollably bad. so. gut reaction is to just fast 2day to try and keep some semblance of control, however i have groceries that need to not go bad in my fridge so idk if i will be doing that. gonna try to not order anything tho because i simply do not have the money for that. also applying for jobs like crazy today.

aaaaaaand just took a hit of my dab pen LMAO i am an addict through and through i get it now i really was white knuckling my way through those two and a half weeks. and i took 2 more hits while writing this. this is my destiny i fear.

someone remind me to cancel my last cardio appt later i don’t need to see those bitches i already know im fucking fine!

#stonerskinny.txt

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ali-anne-undertale-stoof · 2 months ago

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Aaaaaaand here's the second half of chapter 5!

First half

Chapter 5: Bone To Be Popular:

"THIS SONG IS TRENDING RIGHT NOW??!!!"

Papyrus cannot fathom what he is hearing. It's like some poppy, washed out remix of some other song from 20 years ago. This is what the kids are listening to?! It's nonsensical at best!!!

"THE MUSIC INDUSTRY THESE DAYS... OH, WELL!! IF THIS IS WHAT IT TAKES TO MAKE FRIENDS ONLINE, THEN SO BE IT!!! THE GREAT PAPYRUS WILL GO VIRAL!!! I WILL!!!"

It took Papyrus a while to learn all the steps, but with hard work and dedication, he managed it. Once he finally uploaded the video, he felt proud. It was awkward, and certainly not the first thing Papyrus himself would do, but if it will make him popular, he's willing to do whatever it takes to-

DING!

Papyrus gasped in joy. A notification! Did someone like his video?! Papyrus eagerly opened the Undernet app and...

It was a selfie of Sans outside of the library, his smug smile peeking out of the left-hand corner as he points up at the misspelled sign. Underneath it was a caption.

'hey, bro, did you do this?'

...

Papyrus didn't want to risk throwing his phone out of the window again, but the prospect was too tempting.

CRASH!

That poor window.

20K?! 20K likes?! Overnight?! When Papyrus saw the notifications flooding both his phone AND his computer, he thought his mandible was gonna fall off his cranium!

"I... IT'S... I'M FINALLY... POPULAR!!! POPULAR!!! POPULAR!!!" The delighted skeleton couldn't help but dance around the room in a flourish, "delicately tapping" his toes, which caught the attention of a certain sleepy skeleton that was TRYING to take a nap downstairs, but was now peeking his head around Papyrus' bedroom door.

"sup, bro?"

The first thing Papyrus did was dive towards Sans and show off his likes. "SANS!!! I FINALLY DID IT!!! I FIGURED OUT THE SECRET TO FRIENDSHIP!!!"

"oh, wow. that's a really nice video, bro."

"I KNOW, RIGHT?" An ecstatic squeal broke out of the hyperactive wannabe star, before he started running up and down the room. Sans couldn't help but let out a light chuckle.

"I THINK I FINALLY GOT IT!! TO MAKE FRIENDS... YOU HAVE TO DO WHAT EVERYONE ELSE LIKES TO DO!!!"

Sans squinted at that sentence. This could either go really well or really bad. "uhh, you know that's just-"

"SHUT IT, SANS!!! YOU'RE JUST JEALOUS THAT YOU'RE NOT AS POPULAR AS I AM!! I HAVE FIGURED OUT THE ART OF BEING 'TRENDY', AND NOW THAT I, THE GREAT PAPYRUS, AM A MASTER... I WILL BE ABLE TO MAKE ALL THE FRIENDS IN THE WORLD!!! NYEH HEH HEH HEH HEH HEH HEH!!!"

"well... okay. whatever makes you happy, bro. just don't do something stupid, okay?"

"OH, SANS!!! I WOULDN'T EVEN DREAM OF IT!"

"heh, alright, then. i trust you," Sans yawned. "speaking of dreams... i think i'm just gonna get a little more shuteye."

"SANS, DON'T BE RIDICULOUS! IT'S ONLY 6AM!"

Sans cannot fathom how Papyrus has this much energy so early in the morning. He gave Papyrus a curious, yet fond glance before leaving. With Sans out of the way, Papyrus glanced back at his phone.

"ALRIGHT!!! NOW WITH THAT, I SUPPOSE IT IS TIME FOR MORE 'TRENDS'. I CAN'T WAIT TO PLEASE MY NEW FRIENDS!! NYEH HEH HEH!!!"

12K, 4 followers. Papyrus found this trend where monsters took random objects and turned them into pants. He found a box of scarves and turned them into pants. The likes he got from that post was almost worth the relentless teasing and laughter from his brother. That said, Papyrus thought he looked good in his homemade scants. Yes, that's what he called it. No, it's not ridiculous, what are you talking about?!

A few comments asked Papyrus to try a special dance from a couple of years ago. Something to do with crossing your wrists, bouncing your hands up and down and skipping around? It looked silly, but Papyrus was in for it!

16K, 13 followers. The dance was so much fun, and the music was top notch too, even though Papyrus didn't understand the language. Heck, even Sans joined in... Before he knocked the camera over and ruined the whole thing. But it got Papyrus some new friends, so he was willing to let that one slide.

Someone requested that Papyrus does the ALS Ice Bucket Challenge. Apparently it's for raising awareness for a human condition called ALS! Well, how could he say no? Sure, Papyrus has no idea what it is and had never seen a human in his life, but he knew how compassionate monsters can be. He couldn't help but wonder how monsters even found out about this trend in the first place, though. Nonetheless, The Great Papyrus is up for anything!

The challenge took place outside their house. Papyrus stood right next to the mailboxes (one of them was quickly filling up with bills), and Sans stood on a stepladder, struggling to keep the full bucket upright.

"HELLO, MY WONDERFUL FOLLOWERS! IT IS I, THE GREAT PAPYRUS, COMING AT YOU WITH ANOTHER TREND KNOWN AS THE ICE BUCKET CHALLENGE!! NYEH HEH HEH!!! I HAVE MY BROTHER HERE, ALSO, WHO WILL ADMINISTER THE POURING OF THE ICE WHEN I SAY 'GO!'"

"what? go?"

"NO GO."

"go?"

"NO GO!"

"go?"

"NO!!!!" Papyrus couldn't tell whether Sans was joking or he was just being literal. "NOW, I AM NOT QUITE SURE ABOUT WHAT THIS ALS IS, BUT I KNOW IT IS VERY IMPORTANT FOR HUMANS TO BE AWARE OF IT!! SO WITH THAT, I NOMINATE ALL MY FOLLOWERS TO GO TRY THIS CHALLENGE AT HOME!!!"

"go?"

"NO GO!!!"

"go?"

"NO GO!!!!!" Papyrus shot Sans a threatening glare. It wasn't very effective. All Sans did was provide an innocent shrug.

The tall skeleton sighed before continuing. "IF ANY HUMANS END UP WATCHING THIS... I KNOW OUR TWO SPECIES HAVEN'T SEEN EYE TO EYE IN THE PAST, BUT I HOPE THAT WITH OUR SUPPORT, YOU CAN STAY DETERMINED AND PUSH THROUGH THIS TERRIBLE DISEASE!!! OH, AND ALSO, MAKE SURE TO DROP A LIKE, AND GO FOLLOW ME ON-"

Splat! There goes the bucket of snow, right on Papyrus' head, bucket and everything. Wait, snow? SNOW??? Papyrus practically vibrated with fury.

"SSSSSAAAAAAAANS!!!!!"

Sans shrunk into his oversized, black hoodie. "what? you said 'go'."

Papyrus bit his scarf, trying to keep his COOL. "SANS. I WAS OBVIOUSLY TELLING THE VIEWERS TO GO FOLLOW ME."

"oh, whoops. sorry, wasn't paying attention."

Papyrus' anger should have dissipated, but it didn't. There was something else he wanted to discuss.

"WHY IS THIS BUCKET FULL OF SNOW? IT'S SUPPOSED TO BE ICED WATER."

"well, snow's kind of like ice, right?"

Papyrus' body shook so hard it started rattling with fury. His strange googly eyes bulged out of his head, and their pupils didn't shift from Sans' own eye sockets.

"uhh... bro?"

"SAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAANS!!!!!!!!!"

The video cut off from there. Papyrus was hesitant to upload it, due to him still being so angry at Sans for not doing the challenge right, but apparently his followers found that absolutely hysterical, so he let it pass.

22K, 19 followers. Someone had requested that Papyrus throw a magic bullet at someone while they're sleeping. Apparently it's a trend. Well, if it will get him more friends! Sorry, Sans!

Papyrus launched a bone at a sleeping Sans. - 0 HP.

He retaliated with a blaster to the face. -1 HP.

Worth it!

22K, 26 followers. Loads of comments were demanding that Papyrus tries wearing denim clothes. Someone, please, end his suffering.

It got him plenty of likes, but Papyrus was happy as ever to burn those clothes in the backyard with Sans afterwards. So itchy and scratchy! How could anyone stand them???

22K, 28 followers. People were, very loudly mind you, requesting that Papyrus tries the cinnamon challenge. Apparently one has to eat an entire spoonful of cinnamon. Papyrus wondered if that was even safe. Either way, his followers want him to, so...

He began recording.

"HELLO, FELLOW FRIENDS AND FOLLOWERS!!! IT IS I, THE GREAT PAPYRUS, ALSO KNOWN AS COOLSKELETON, AND I'M BACK WITH ANOTHER REQUEST FROM YOU LOVELY PEOPLE!!! THIS TIME IT IS THE... CINNAMON CHALLENGE?!?! I MUST ADMIT, I HAVE NO IDEA WHY SOMEONE WOULD SHOVE A SPOONFUL OF STRAIGHT CINNAMON INTO THEIR MOUTH, BUT IT'S ALL FOR FUN, SO... I SHALL JUST HAVE TO MAKE IT GREAT!!! AS I USUALLY AM!!! NYEH HEH HEH!!!" He hesitantly lifted the spoon up to his mouth. He knew from Sans that consuming cinnamon like this wasn't the best idea. But it's too late to turn back, now that he's a superstar social media influencer.

Speaking of Sans, he didn't notice the short skeleton walk through the kitchen doorway, only to find his brother trying to consume a spoonful of cinnamon.

"hey, bro, whatcha doin'?"

Papyrus' surprised gasp caused the spicy powder to fly straight up his nasal cavity. And before Papyrus could even respond...

"A... ACHOO!!!"

He sneezed straight into the bowl of cinnamon on the countertop. As he opened his eyes, Papyrus realised that the brownish powder was now absolutely EVERYWHERE. On the walls, on the counter... even on Sans' face! Still, Sans didn't seem bothered about that. He was more bothered by what Papyrus was attempting to do. He didn't show it, of course. Typical Sans. But Papyrus would say he is pretty good at reading Sans anyway. After all, he was stuck with him for pretty much their whole lives. You pick up a thing or two about someone when you're with them for that long.

"S-SANS!!! W-WHY DID YOU INTERRUPT MY VIDEO??" Yeah, that's right! Cover your shame with irritation! That's totally going to work!

"uhh... i just wanted to see what you were up to. guess i accidentally... spiced up the kitchen?

"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!"

Sans chuckled nervously. Despite the lighthearted banter, he couldn't help but glance at the camera that Papyrus is using to record his video on. It looked pretty old. Why doesn't he just use his phone? Either way, he had to stop this before Papyrus hurts himself.

"say, uh, do you mind if i look at that camera for a second? i think it's got some cinnamon on it."

"OH! OF COURSE!"

Sans turned off the camera.

His popularity was stagnating. Those four words played in a loop in Papyrus' head, as he laid there in his race car bed, staring at his phone, Peekaboo with Fluffy Bunny on the nearest table, in the darkness of his room. Papyrus knew it was nighttime, only from the darkness, the sound of Sans' sleepy mumbling and snoring from the neighbouring bedroom, and the numbers on his phone staring at him.

01:52 AM. Despite the bedtime story, Papyrus couldn't sleep. Not tonight. He was too busy thinking about what to do to earn more followers. To earn more FRIENDS. Being friends with everyone sounded so easy on Undernet. So why? Why is it so hard?

He enjoyed doing those trends... with some exceptions. But Papyrus couldn't help but notice that whenever he wasn't doing those trends... Whenever he just wanted to do his own thing... He didn't get as many likes as he got when he was doing those trends.

It's fine. It doesn't hurt at all. He's still great, whether he's doing those trends or not... right?

That's what Sans said. And Papyrus trusts Sans more than anyone. His brother is smart, so... He has to be right.

Papyrus decided it was best to distract himself for a minute. He searched through other accounts on Undernet.

One account was full of terrible jokes. Papyrus remembered the username, SN0W3. He hopes his mother's okay.

Another showcased what life is like on a snail farm. Those two ghosts there. They look happy together. He doesn't know their names, but they seem to be related. Papyrus cracked a smile. It reminded him of him and Sans.

Then there was an account run by some kind of anime-loving yellow lizard. From what Papyrus could gather from the photo, she likes hanging out in some kind of trash dump area with a cat monster and a crocodile monster. They were decked out in anime merch. Papyrus isn't a huge fan of anime, but good for them.

His eye sockets darted to the amount of likes these photos got. They weren't very popular. No help there. He followed the lizard's account, anyway. She seemed charming enough.

Papyrus internally sighed and rolled to his side, this time scrolling through the home page. So much content. So many people with so much cool content, with so many friends...

Yes, he did say to himself that he had to distract himself. But no matter what he did, Papyrus always thought back to the numbers on his posts. The followers... The friends he could make. Friends he has to please. He keeps scrolling, determined to find something, ANYTHING, to ensure that people like him.

That's when he spots it.

The Bleach Crackle Challenge.

According to this website, The Bleach Crackle Challenge consisted of taking a shot of bleach and gargling it, causing a violent reaction in their magic, usually in the form of sparks. Papyrus wanted to cringe at their coughing, spluttering, and throwing up, but then he looked at the numbers again. Maybe... Maybe this will please his followers. It's worth a shot. And what's the worst that could happen? He's a skeleton! It could just fall out of his ribs for all he knew!

Tomorrow. Tomorrow, he will do this.

Because making friends.

Is about.

Doing.

Whatever.

They WANT you to do.

And knowing his followers... They were going to request this eventually.

So he might as well just give them what they want.

The camera's on.

"H-HELLO, MY LOYAL FOLLOWERS!!! IT IS I, THE G-GREAT PAPYRUS, BACK WITH ANOTHER CHALLENGE!!! NYEH HEH... HEH..."

Holding the shot of bleach, Papyrus can feel his hands shaking. He tried not to let any liquid pour out as he spoke.

"SO, I FOUND THIS POPULAR TREND ON THE UNDERNET. APPARENTLY C-CONSUMING... THIS... WILL HARBOR SOME C-COOL EFFECTS!! IT'S, UM... I-I HAVE NOTHING TO WORRY ABOUT, REALLY!!! OBVIOUSLY, DON'T TRY THIS AT HOME... B-BUT I AM A SKELETON, A COOLSKELETON AT THAT!!! NYEH! SO, UM, THEORETICALLY..."

He held it up so it lined up with his eye sockets.

"I S-SHOULD... BE... F-FINE..."

He can feel the stench creep up his nasal cavity and into his eye sockets. He didn't want to do this... He didn't want to do this! But it's too late to turn back now.

Papyrus shakily brought it up to his teeth. Oh, god. He could feel it already, and he hadn't even-

Uh oh.

That was not a welcome sight to see.

Sans. Standing in the doorway of the kitchen. Deep, black eye sockets.

Papyrus was in big trouble.

Before he could lower the glass, Sans bliped right next to him and gently took the glass. Those empty sockets... He knew his brother wasn't playing around.

Sans carefully poured the bleach back into its original container and put the shotglass in the sink. Next, he turned off the camera once again.

Papyrus didn't know why, but he felt a deep sense of resentment and... is that shame? Whatever it was, it was boiling up inside him. He squeezed his eye sockets shut, suppressing an undeserved yell. He had to keep reminding himself that Sans was just trying to protect him. He can't be reasonably angry about that. He can't...

"GOSH DARN IT, SANS!!!"

His eyelights steadily returning, Sans spoke with a delicately soft tone. "papyrus... is something-"

Papyrus immediately brushed Sans off. "RAARRRGH!!!" And stormed upstairs, slamming his bedroom door behind him.

What... What just happened?

A cautious knock at the door.

A deadpan response. "COME IN."

A loud, but not obnoxious creak as the door slided open.

A worried brother standing at the door.

"heya."

A tear-stained skeleton who cannot even spare the worried brother a glance. He's just too busy working on his resume. And by "working on his resume", it means he's tapping the C key over and over as a nervous tic. Papyrus hated to see his brother upset. Especially because of him.

"listen, i just wanted you to know... if you ever wanted to talk about somethin'-"

"I'M FINE, SANS."

Sans' eyelights fell to the carpet, disbelieving. "are you sure?"

"DON'T WORRY. IT'S... NOT THAT DEEP."

"so... why?"

"IT WAS JUST A TREND. THE WHAT-DO-YOU-CALL-IT, BLEACH, CRACKLE THING."

The eyelights disappear again as Sans spoke in a hushed whisper. "you tried the bleach crackle challenge?! the challenge that got 5 kids hospitalised?!"

Papyrus lost his deadpan tone. "WELL, I DIDN'T KNOW IT GOT CHILDREN HOSPITALISED, SANS!!!" He swiveled around to glare at his brother with tears in his eyes.

"bro, i hate to tell you this, but that was-"

"STUPID?!"

"well, yes."

Papyrus huffed. He knew he had no right to be angry at Sans, but... but...

"ARRGH!!! WHY IS MAKING FRIENDS SO COMPLICATED?!"

Sans' worried thoughts skid to a halt. So THAT'S what this is about?

"all of this was for clout, wasn't it?"

That did it. Papyrus squeezed his eye sockets shut, gesticulating violently with his hands.

"WELL, I'M SORRY!!! I JUST WANTED TO BE POPULAR AND HAVE LOTS OF FRIENDS AND RESPECT AND RECOGNITION AND LOVE AND PRAISE AND HUGS AN-AND EVERYTHING GOOD THAT COMES WITH A FRIENDSHIP, AND Y-YOU KNOW, TO HAVE FRIENDS, YOU HAVE TO GIVE THEM WHAT THEY WANT!!!!"

"did... people really ask you to-"

"NO!!! BUT... IT WAS SO POPULAR, I FIGURED IT WAS ONLY A MATTER OF TIME BEFORE THEY DID, YOU KNOW?" Papyrus hiccupped. "A-A-AND I HAVE TO MAKE THEM HAPPY, OTHERWISE I'D NEVER... I'D- MY POPULARITY LEVELS WILL REMAIN STAGNANT!!! AND... AND..." He slumped.

Something in Sans began to stir, more than ever. A heavy, achy feeling settled in his ribcage, and it was only becoming more and more unbearable the longer he looked at his precious brother in this state. Without even thinking about it, Sans slowly walked up to his distraught brother, and sat on the floor beside him.

"papyrus..." It took a few seconds to figure out what to say, "there's a difference between followers and friends. you know that, right?"

Papyrus sniffled, still glaring at the floor. "IT'S THE CLOSEST I'VE EVER FELT TO HAVING SOME."

"really, now? did it make you happy to get those followers?"

Papyrus opened his mouth to speak, before Sans raised a hand to interject.

"speak wisely."

Papyrus paused. Was he happy just focusing on the likes and followers? Looking back, all he could remember feeling was stress.

"say, uh... i'm not saying don't follow the latest trends. it's not something i would personally go for, but i can understand the appeal. after all, some of those things you did were pretty fun, right?"

Papyrus stopped shedding tears in favour of a blank face. Come to think of it, the pranks, the silly dances, the ice bucket... Those were pretty fun to do.

"YEAH..."

The ache in Sans' ribcage began to dissipate.

"heh heh... people like doing those trends because they're fun. so perhaps it's worth putting aside the likes and start focusing on the fun side."

Oh, Sans. You always know what to say, Papyrus thought. He flashed Sans a grateful smile.

"YEAH... YEAH!!! IF THEY WERE REAL FRIENDS, THEY SHOULD LIKE ME REGARDLESS OF WHAT GOOFY STUFF I POST ON UNDERNET, RIGHT?"

"that's right, buddy." Sans gave Papyrus' knee a gentle pat, before standing up. "say, bro?"

"YEAH?"

"i have an idea. why don't we make something new together? no clout. no stress. just two bros, having fun and doing goofy stuff on the internet. whaddya say?"

The smile of gratitude just became a smile of joyous anticipation.

"WOWIE, SANS!! I THINK I WOULD LIKE THAT... A LOT!!!"

With that, Papyrus swivelled back to the computer and changed tabs. Sans stood by, trying to peek over his shoulder.

"whatcha doin'?"

"DELETING MY OLD ACCOUNT. I WANT TO START FRESH! HOW DOES 'COOLSKELETON95' SOUND TO YOU?"

"you know what, bro? i love it."

Click, click!

The first video Papyrus uploaded onto his new account was a cover of his favourite pop song! The twins dressed up in ridiculously poppy outfits and sang and danced their heart out. And the entire time, Papyrus was only focused on the song and his brother. The dancing, the laughing... It was all really fun! Papyrus was so happy to have Sans doing this with him. This marked the beginning of a new era... As far as the internet went, anyway.

3 hours of editing later, Papyrus finally uploaded the video on his new account. And... Nothing yet.

Papyrus smiled anyway. He made something he was proud of. Something fun, that didn't put him in danger or under any pressure to keep creating things that only his followers wanted. This was truly a place where Papyrus can express himself. And who knows? Maybe even some real friends will come flocking to him... one day.

He heard Sans calling from downstairs. "hey, bro, i found this sick console in the basement. you wanna see if we can fix it up?"

Oh, well! The Great Papyrus' job is never done! Papyrus happily sprung out of his office chair and marched out the room, filled with a newfound sense of true confidence.

...

The video got one like.

#undertale #papyrus #sans #fanfic #my writing #snowdin adventures

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quotidian-oblivion · 1 year ago

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Wasn't tagged but decided to do this.

Repost and tell me how you draft as you write. Do you write in order? Do you start with something particular? How fully formed does your writing come out the first try? How many drafts do you go through? Tell me about your process because I’m curious!

*takes deep breath* o k a y.

First off, I rant. Don't know when, don't know where, once it was on a family trip on a ferry. But I rant. I rant about the plot. Sometimes, it's an excited rant, sometimes, it's an angry rant. My fics are always born out of some type of emotion. I rant pages and pages. If there isn't enough ranting on a doc, the fic doesn't work out (unless it's a oneshot), simple as that. Most times, I rant in one go. I cannot go back to ranting if I get interrupted for an extended period of time. So if I'm ranting about a possible fic, and someone interrupts me, they'll probably dead (/j). But occasionally, for some fics (it's random), i manage to go back and rant out more of a plot for them. The ranting nearly always happens at night.

Secondly, I let the rants stew for a long long time. Like wine in the basement. I don't know how alcohol works, I'm Muslim. But you get the idea. Oh! Another comparison, I let my rant-fics stew for a while like bread dough before you put it in the oven. Yk? To let the yeast to its thing. Yeah, okay, I'm gonna stop now. Sometimes, I go back and read the rants. Just for fun. Cuz those rants are fics made just for me and I enjoy them to the fullest extent.

Third, I come back if I'm in that fic's mood and decide to flesh it out and add chapters. And so I create the first chapter, copy+paste the part of the rant which will fit that chapter, and then I add more details to flesh the rants out a little more and make it into a more substantial and understandable plot. I add some missed details, close some holes, this is the most crucial part of my editing because this is the only time where major editing happens. If I need to make a major edit when I'm later on in the fic-writing process, I abandon it (most of the time). So yeah, this is the most crucial part. Sometimes, the chapter notes (I call it chapter notes), get so lengthy and detailed that they're good enough to be first drafts. So I consider them first drafts most of the time rather than chapter notes.

Fourth step, I do the extra bits. Which is generally the spontaneous stuff and whatever comes in mind. Like tags, ao3 notes, research etc.

The fifth step is actually writing it out. Or well, turning the first draft into a second draft, more comprehensible for other people reading. This is best done when I'm sleep-deprived and at night while I'm in bed with my sisters beside me, dozing off as my phone repeatedly falls and hits my face.

Sixth and last step is just editing. Grammar, little plot holes, adding or deleting a line here and there. Usually, this happens over a course of weeks cuz the bigger the gap I visit the document, the better I edit and think more objectively and clearly about this. But if the gap is too big, I get insecure and think the fic is cringe and delete the whole document. Just kidding, I stopped deleting my writing a while ago, but I abandon the story and shove it to the deepest depths of my head and docs. While writing, because I don't want the flow to break, I leave notes for future me [like this] (bolded and underlined in square brackets) and most of the time, they tell future-me about why the character has done a certain action, or what they will need to do next, and more commonly, telling future-me to find synonyms for words or the meaning of words I know, but am unsure about.

Aaaaaaand, then I post!

Obviously, this is different for one shots. One shots, are spontaneous and are generally written in one-sitting, but not all the time.

Oh! Also, I write chapters in order, but I don't plan it in order (which includes ranting and chapter notes). Sometimes, I get visions of cute moments or just stuff I want in fics and they're almost always actually comprehensibly written out scenes rather than babble only I can fully understand, and they go at the bottom of the document under 'Extracts'. The extracts can happen at any time as long as it is before the last step. If it comes when the sixth step is in place, I don't write it down or transfer it to another fic.

Anyway, yeah, I like rambling about things. This was really long. Ig I go through a total of... 6 or 7 drafts? Including the ranting as a draft. But this is only for multi-chaps. Oneshots vary.

No pressure tags: @wakkoroni @sardonic-sprite @tristicorde @cygnusdoesthings @pevensiechase @foursixtwonineoh-pieces-of-lego @uncertainwallflower

#quotidian convos #writer tag game #fanfiction writer tag game #quotidian writes

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starsmaligned · 2 years ago

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GET TO KNOW THE MUN !!

TAGGED BY: @aggwaseon

TAGGING: uhhhhhhhhhh @absque-nocte @honorxlies I CANT REMEMBER URLS

𝐃𝐀𝐒𝐇 𝐆𝐀𝐌𝐄.

★ ⸻ WHAT'S YOUR PHONE WALLPAPER?: I cycle between these four because of that feature on iphone. the concert photos were taken by yours truly

★ ⸻ LAST SONG YOU LISTENED TO?: Stay Away by Loopdy - although it switched right over to Johnny Hunter's Try As You May as I typed this

★ ⸻ CURRENTLY READING?: To be honest all I read really is academic articles for my degree, so it's Fairy Tales Transformed? : Twenty-First-Century Adaptations and the Politics of Wonder by Cristina Bacchilega

★ ⸻ LAST MOVIE?: I haven't watched a movie in a really long time - I think maybe Spirited Away on Netflix?

★ ⸻ LAST SHOW?: Bob's Burgers on D+. It's a comfort show

★ ⸻ WHAT ARE YOU WEARING RIGHT NOW?: Bat and black cat printed pyjama pants, and a black hoodie with a line drawing of my dog embroidered in the top left corner

★ ⸻ HOW TALL ARE YOU? 169cm - ALLEGEDLY. I DON'T KNOW ANYMORE

★ ⸻ PIERCINGS / TATTOOS? I have my firsts in both lobes , I used to have my seconds and double helix on both sides but they never healed properly. As for tattoos, I have Junji Ito's Tomie on my left forearm, as well as a knife with a rose, and a weird human-thing with antlers. On my right arm I have Little My in a teapot from Moominvalley, and a disgruntled + damaged juice box named Graham on my outer right wrist ( friendship tattoo ). On my left calf, on the outer left side, I have Ponyo holding a light with a bowl of ramen. On the back of my left calf I have Haku and Chihiro from Spirited Away with cherry blossoms ( my left leg is getting worked into a Ghibli leg ). I am in talks with my tattoo artist to get prayer hands holding a razorblade rosary for MCR and also Ducky from Land Before Time as a cousins tattoo. IF YOU WANNA SEE PICTURES, ASK! I LOVE SHARING MY TATTOOS

★ ⸻ GLASSES / CONTACTS?: Glasses, but only when I have to do my art or read

★ ⸻ LAST THING YOU ATE?: Lamb chop!

★ ⸻ FAVORITE COLOR(S)?: Black and almost all shades of purple

★ ⸻ CURRENT OBSESSION?: oooooo um vernon from svt dancing to poppy by stayc aaaaaaand my always obsession is going to concerts ( I go to 7-8 a year )

★ ⸻ DO YOU HAVE A CRUSH RIGHT NOW?: I have someone haha

★ ⸻ FAVORITE FICTIONAL CHARACTER?: Hatsuharu from Fruits Basket

★ ⸻ LAST PLACE YOU VISITED?: Sydney!

#out of constellations #thank you for the tag i kinda really wanted to do this

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thessalian · 6 months ago

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Thess vs Faro's Tomb

Yesterday I just did some prepwork insofar as the getting to Horizonverse San Francisco was involved. This morning, however ... I woke up waaaaaaaay too early with the whole "pain-spasm in the legs" thing and could not get back to sleep so I thought ... fuck it. Main quest time.

YESTERDAY

Okay. Totem. Up the mountain we go!

...Too far up the mountain. This is a Sunken Cavern and I don't need greenshine that badly. I suppose it's in that cabin down there. But there's Sunwings and--

Oop. That's a Stalker. Lemme clear the field a bit.

Right. Totem of War iiiiiiiiiiiis ... Kratos. I guess this is what they mean by Easter eggs.

Moving on - gotta get to San Francisco. Minus the flowers in the hair.

Of course I had to do this shit at night. I guess it makes sense story-wise, though. Off I go!

Right. What've we got in this area? ...TALLNECK!

Tallneck ... in the water. And ... damaged. Okay, what stole the parts this time?

Glinthawks. Great. A-swimming we will go-- FUCK THERE'S SNAPMAWS.

Can I lure the Snapmaws up to the surface so I can poonk them? *tosses rock* Nope. But they're over there for now and I will just ... play with crates.

Okay. Sneak-swim and...

FUCKFUCKFUCKFUCKNOTENOUGHSTEALTHKELP!

Phew! In the building. They can't bother me in here. And up I go.

Aha! Part! And ... fuck, that nest I looted over there wasn't the one I needed so I have to go back!

...Oh thank the gods there's a zipline. Bye, Snapmaws!

Second part. Now, where do I need to put these?

Ah. Thank the gods for the rebreather. Aaaaaaand--

Oh fuck I'm going to have to swim some more.

Okay, I can jump on from here. That'll work. YEET.

For once I get to climb the moving Tallneck! I missed this!

Override and SPLOOSH back into the water for that shelter I saw over there. Now that I'm more or less established, I can quit here and do the rest when I have a few more spoons.

THIS MORNING

Okay, over to Legacy's Landfall-- Ooh, drone!

I admit I am getting better at finding the ways to climb things to get drones and the like. Plus it's a good distraction from the OW.

Got that ... now, Legacy's Landfall.

OHAI QUENFOLK. Um ... wut.

They call their leaders Ceo? As in CEO? Oh gods. Not sure if hilarious or creepy, so I'm going for both.

Bohai, you are ... untrusting and a bit grumpy. Which I get. Ceo, you are ... friendly in that creepy "I do not and will not trust you" way. I have a feeling this is going to be shitty.

Alva and the rest are pinned down by a Thunderjaw? You have, like, an army; can't you--? No, of fucking course you can't. I'm on it.

Quick stop for datapoints, and then Thebes. ...I didn't even know there was a Thebes in Egypt, but turns out it's around Luxor. Huh.

YES I KNOW THERE'S A THUNDERJAW; THAT'S WHY I'M STICKING TO THE RED GRASS-- Fuck.

Okay, that wasn't so bad. Hi, Alva-- Oh. You fuckwads followed me. Great. So down we go.

Ah. Gene-locked to Faro. I got this.

Swimswimswim... Aha, here we go. Aaaaaaand ... okay, the audio logs from this Kayla are already freaking me out and I've only seen one of them. This is going to get ugly, isn't it.

Ceo ... what the fuck are you wearing? You-- You consider yourself the reincarnation of Ted Faro; that explains the Fucking Creepy. Fine, you want to be a weirdo, go ahead, but-- YOU WANT ME TO WEAR WHAT?!?

So here I am in an approximation of Sobeck's favourite outfit, which they would have killed Alva if I hadn't worn it, going down into Thebes and getting ever so much creepier audio logs. I ... have a concern about this whole situation.

I'm sorry - Faro installed WHAT in people's heads?!? Oh, this is just gross.

So he was working on the same "eternal life" tech that the Zeniths have and ... it ... sounds like it didn't work so well? That's ... as far as this goes, right? He gave himself cancer or something. Right?

.........Right?!?

.....................wrong. Hooooooooboy. That is fucked up.

Yeah, no, guys, you really don't want to see that--

No, guys, you really don't want to do that--

Guys, what the fuck is your problem?!?

Fuck it; you want to get burned alive by trying to kill us while we run? Go ahead.

Please let the stupid Faro statue collapse with Ceo on it--

YES! VINDICATION!

Hi, Bohai-- Yeah, no, Alva, Bohai knows Ceo's a fuckwit. Let's just tell him that Ceo was a fuckwit and get on with our lives.

Okay. Quick stop for a black box, turn all those in for parts I really don't need to buy just to finish the quest, aaaaaaaand ... I guess it's time for work.

Oh, today's going to suck. I'm in less pain (the paracetamol has kicked in a bit) but I am exhausted.

#Thess plays video games #Thess liveblogs Horizon Forbidden West

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furiousjellifish · 2 years ago

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I just published the third chapter of my fic while being nauseous lol

Still couldn't learn how to link the right chapter but it's okay

Aaaaaaand sneak peak (⁠☞⁠ ͡⁠°⁠ ͜⁠ʖ⁠ ͡⁠°⁠)⁠☞

As the alternative turtle moved, the chains putted the pan back directly into Angelo's hands “Whew, that was a close one!” he says as he pushes the tray far from the cabinet edge “At least we still got them” As he turned around the glowing started to fade away quickly. Once he was facing Micheal, finding the most dumbfounded expression given on earth, he also gave his fair expression of confusion “The shell is you looking at?” “WHAT IN THE PIZZA DOUGH!?!?!” Micheal finally yelled.

Ok I am gonna go vomit now :)

#rise of the tmnt #rise of the turtles #rottmnt #save rottmnt #rise of the teenage mutant ninja turtles #rise mikey #tmnt crossover

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arcplaysgames · 2 years ago

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is our academics score currently "fucking dumbass mcgee" or something, who else in a fucking kimono have we seen lately, goddamn

MAGICIAN SOCIAL LINK: GET. Yosuke as the Magician is.... interesting. I am not going to say he's a terrible Magician or make any assumptions, because remember when i said Yukari didn't make sense as the Lovers and then she turned out to be the Most Lovers Ever?

but at the moment Yosuke ddddddddoesn't have any of the hallmarks of what I would consider the Magician. He's active, I guess, but seems more compelled by external forces than by his own drive. also there's a severe lack of control and stagecraft to him. he's a bit sad clown but that's the extent of his performance.

The Magician is someone who is very active, who can throw themselves into situations and usually ride on luck and charisma and passion. They get in over their heads easily but also have a certain set of tools (internal or external, the Magician is very explicitly associated with physical focii like wand and athame and chalices, etc) that make them highly effective.

The Magician is someone who is a very mortal person, but who can feel the magic around them like a charge in the air, and they lift a tool to let lightning strike them, then channel that into their work.

Junpei hit that note right off the bat, reckless but effective, and later plagued by Imposter Syndrome (the perfect ailment for the Magician). Yosuke, I dunno yet. We'll see.

[/CARTOMANCY RAMBLINGS]

someone with some sense. points to Chie!

except she's........... not in the TV? she's fine? Chie calls the inn and gets her on the phone.

Patient. We're being patient. We're giving Chie a chance. Yukari wound up being great and we're going to let Chie blossom into a rad person. Yep.

there's a moment of Dojima being in a dour prime time crime drama, but I don't have patience for that and Chie too. The cops know nothing because "supernatural tv murders" doesn't come standard in their Clue games. Whateverrrrr.

oh thank god a character welcoming me back home, i needed this, thank you. i miss iwatodai.

Aaaaaaand Yukiko's in the TV now, and is on a Bachelorette-style show looking for a MAN and she has on SPECIAL LINGERIE and sigh.

yo i got FASHION

SAD ABOUT NANAKO HOUR IS EVERY HOUR. man, i had to take on a lot of adult responsibilities too soon, but I didn't do that at fucking six years old. Dojima, you suck.

YOSUKE IF YOU LIVED IN THE US YOU'D BE DEAD ON THE GROUND RIGHT NOW. YOU CAN'T JUST BRING A FUCKING KATANA TO A FOOD COURT AND SWING IT AROUND. you're only allowed to do that with guns in Open Carry states.

cannot overstate how you're not my dad. i would venture to say you're barely nanako's dad.

aw yeah that's right i've turned on dojima now. i don't care how nice your voice is, your daughter deserves better and you suck.

TO BE TOTALLY CLEAR

THE COPS SUSPECT YUKIKO OF MURDERING THE FIRST DEAD LADY

THE ONE LEFT ON A TV ANTENNAE

she's like 16 and refuses to eat steak, where exactly is she getting the ability to put a grown-ass body on a roof, did she rent a crane????? bruh.

I MISS YUKARI. SOB. where are the smart people.

Anyway. I finally have the Velvet Room and

wait its unfriendly girl who bumped into me who is apparently new in Golden!

lmao margaret is BRUTAL

can i have a social link with margaret because she's cool and has a great voice and i'm shallow and would love to hang out with another old soul of the weird metaphysical liminal limo.

please god lemme out of these tutorials and into the main routine already i'm withering, i'm dying.

#p4 #persona liveblog

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skyland2703 · 2 years ago

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"Do you have any idea how much I wished to take it back? To just go to your house and apologize?" "I would have waited for you. I did wait for you. Even if it took some time, you are here now." + aaaaaaand I am very torn on whether to imbibe in encouraging Coinless Billy x Skull or simply Older Billy x Skull; but I trust your judgement ^^

Once and Always gave me the perfect plot for Billy and Skull to meet after 20+ years and get to know each other and all that sappy stuff~

#power rangers #mighty morphin power rangers #billy cranston #eugene skullovitch #Billy x skull #this needs another chapter to tie in the loose ends #but hhhhhh #mighty morphin power rangers: once & always

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festivalsofmargot · 1 year ago

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Omg Margot I didn’t know you were married!!! What’s your husband like???

Hello, anon!!! Yussss, I'm married haha. Hell yeah I'll take a minute to brag about him 😁 Little fun story time post ahead!

Literally the funniest person I've ever met, and that's always been huge for me when I fell for somebody lol. If they could make me laugh? Whoo boy... I am smitten. ❤

We met while playing and drinking in VR Chat. It was during covid so all the bars were closed. I hopped on to check out the virtual bars and then I met him at one of those spin the wheel games at Drinking Night (VR Chat map).

I made a joke about it being like spin the bottle and I was down for kissing games. Then his little alien avatar walked in and was like "Kissing games?! Oh absolutely not."

I laughed, then was immediately embarrassed because I hate my laugh. But he proceeded to make me laugh even more throughout the night, and I tried to stay quiet because I thought I was coming off as annoying. (He later told me he loved my laugh and was trying to get it out of me.)

I decided to be a little bold and friend him. He didn't know how because it was his first time playing and his friend dragged him on. I think about how easily we could have missed each other. Not only did he barely agree to hop on VR Chat, but we had to be on at the same time and be in the same map.

As soon as I friended him and he figured out how to accept it, my game crashed. And I was so sad! I thought I wasn't ever going to talk to him again. For the hell of it, I hopped back on to find a new group. Then I saw he invited me back to the world he was on. I thanked him, and now that I was a little tipsier I started talking more.

He ditched his friend and just wanted to go wherever I went in VR Chat and we gave each other our socials. We were literally up all night and in completely different time zones, and we both had work in the morning 🤢. The next day, we helped each other stay up by messaging each other funny memes.

The following months, we'd message each other all day every day, then hop on VR Chat for little dates. It was so sweet haha, he'd find little worlds that looked like restaurants and we'd sit at a table and talk in our dumb as fuck avatars, it was such a blast.

I worked from home so he bought me tickets to come see him in person aaaaaaand I basically never left. Somewhere along the way we got hitched and now we game in the same room together lmfaooo.

Fun Fact: He sends Sebastian to Azkaban every time he finishes Hogwarts Legacy, can't imagine why 🤣

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tsuki-sennin · 2 years ago

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Having grown to appreciate her unusually kind form of selfishness, Gira propositions the exceptional Queen Himeno for aid in his crusade in the aftermath of the battle at Ishabana's capital of Flopital. However, before she is able to treat the wounded in the castle, Kuwagon signals the arrival of a newcomer. The silver and gold God Kabuto, who fires upon the King-Ohgers. Yanma, Himeno, and Gira are swept away by Kuwagon's rescue, and God Kabuto pursues them...

So the story goes! Anyways, let's get back to that now, Spoilers, I guess~!

-Oh fuck, he's one of the big boys.

-Wow, that reformation was

-Instant, holy crap.

-Aaaaaaand, they're down! Booooosh!

-Oooooh

-There he is, Kaguragi the bee man.

-His facial expressions are equal parts hiliarious and terrifying.

-Since female bees of all are the ones with stingers, this implies to me that he has T-masc swag, so I think I'm incorporating that into my headcanon. Entirely independently, mind you.

-Anyhoo, I'm now listening to Zenryoku King for the tenth time today.

-Aaaaah~!

-What a lovely place, Toufu is.

-I love seeing Toei go through all these typical high fantasy JRPG settings, it gives me joy.

-I think the one recurring bit they don't do is try to claim the whole setting as just one continent.

-I've gotta ask, does Sebastian get paid? Y'know, a lot?

-I suppose Himeno skipped her bible study. ...can't say I blame her, tbh.

-Girl really said "I'm taking God for my collection."

-I just noticed this, but Yanma's headphones apparently aren't cat-ear ones.

-Ooooooh, remaking the divine in the form of modern industry. That's very thaumatech-y. Like Radiant Historia or uh... Fantasian, I've never played that one.

-Oooooh, grasshopper? I mean, of course there'd be one.

-...Ooooooh, what if there's a moth like Inazuman?

-Racles fucking cheated to wake it up somehow, didn't he?

-Oh okay, just leave Yanma there. Okay.

-Oh fuck, I didn't notice! Where is Gira?

-Good morning!

-Okay, goodbye... Kabutan!

-Kaguragi Jumpscare.

-"You..."

-I absolutely love So Kaku's voice.

-"Hail to the king, dude!"

-Kuroko! ...Oh wait, no, I'm not supposed to take note of you, uhhh...

-Daaaaamn, Kaguragi! You sure have a lot of... wheat!

-"Turning yourself in? Seems like kind of a bitch move."

-Oooooh, oooooh, ooooooh!

-"You! Are a very brave and wonderful man, tyrant boy!"

Gira: ...so like, do you have issues with Racules or- Kaguragi: He is nothing BUT an issue! He works his people to death, attempted to wrest control of my nation's god, withholds his industrial innovations from my subjects... He even made fun of my ponytail by calling it a manbun, even though they're TOTALLY different!

-Ooooooh, funky!

-What a lively place.

-Must be nice to have.

-...wait, so there's more grain in Toufu than anywhere else in the world? ...guess the scale's a lot smaller than I thought.

-"This radish is is covered in dirt and bugs... my favorite~!"

-Wash your veggies before you eat 'em.

-There's God Hachi up there.

-Working hard to claim the fruits of thy labor! That is the Land of Toufu!

-"Sir Gira! ...let your best buddy in the whole wide world Lord Kaguragi handle this!"

-Alright, time to get it!

-Bonk!

-Man, I am just digging this soundtrack.

-Ohger Finish~!

-Aaaaand we've officially given up!

-"Could you like... give us time?"

-Well, he's given up.

-He has far too much drip to care what Racules thinks, Yanma.

-Guess the Shugoddamites still believe in their asshole king.

-...man, I miss Toufu's air already.

-"Shhh, shhh. There's the peasant Gira likes. ...Yeeeees, I look forward to seeing him prostrated before me."

-The Judge.

-There's Rita. There they be.

-"Well, that bitchass loser Racules doesn't wanna help me... which is why I must ask that you provide your aid!"

-"FOOOOOOD!"

-"Yanma, you fucker, keep your gross chopsticks out of the pot!"

-God this is so funny.

-The top of Tikyu's pecking order!

-"Pwease do it for our children!"

-Well, Gira's caught on.

-Slack jawed tanuki... Hey man, Keiwa'd be carrying you guys! ...more literally than anything, but.

-I love you Kaguragi.

-Here they come. The Bugnarak. In the quarry~!

-Fuck you, Dezzy.

-Tomato~!

-"Time for a bit of pesticide!"

-Hatch It!

-Ohgai Busou!

-Hachi Ohger!

-Yoooooooooo!

-Whoa, he's flexible!

-How bold of him.

-Bees. My God.

-This is amazing.

-Shugod Jumpscare.

-Using the lady as bait, smh Yanma

-Oh shit, there he is!

-"...That's not Racules."

-Kaguragi Dybowski. He cheated us all.

-God, this is epic.

-Well, he is giving Gira what he demanded at the start of the episode.

-"You little bitch!"

-Well, Gira sure was quick to forgive.

-Bug Kiss

-Good morning, Kabutan!

-Together!

-King-Ohger, come forth!

-I guess God Hachi picked up Kaguragi during that transition.

-God Papillon. Where's your Chief Justice, eh?

-King, King! King Ohger!

-Man, this dynamic's gonna be the best thing ever once Rita jumps in.

-Thank you, God Hachi.

-Ahhh, the old "attack the parts not covered by the shell" tutorial boss.

-Blown off the mountain.

-Bee Man did it.

-"Apology not accepted. Time to die, Bee Boy!"

-"No dying today."

-Man, Himeno really was about to relieve him of his head. She really is a mantis lady!

-Kaguragi has joined the party!

-"Hohohoho! Leave the scheming to the professionals, hmm? As for you, Sir Gira..."

-Oh wow, he sold them right out!

-Rita Time.

-Goddamn, they're on point.

-"Treachery, assault, attempted regicide, illegal trespassing, obstruction of justice, unlawful consumption of food... swagless behavior. By the power vested in me as Chief Justice of the International Court and Sovereign of Gokkan, I place you under arrest."

-Ohhhhh I've been waiting anxiously to see you, Your Honor.

#Rejoice O Swarming Evil! You're My King!#ohsama sentai king ohger #ohsama sentai kingohger #kingohger spoilers #kingohger #king ohger #king ohger spoilers

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teddybeartoji · 2 months ago

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omg ur a gamer too... when is our wedding. WHATS UR FAVORITE GAME MY LOVE!!!!!!!!!! im lowkey back on my minecraft grind but i actually am rly wanting to play god of war which is very coincidental.. (we r energetically aligned Omfg..) oh ive alzo been playing fallout which u should play the series if u havent before its soooo good:333 ok thats all i have to say for now i hope u have a great day, handsome😽😽

love, ur lesbian lover⚢

ps. i have to work today wish me luck💔💔💔

OOMGGGGG A FELLOW GAMERR!!!!!!!!! WE'RE SO MEANT TO BE HEHEHEHHEE OUR WEDDING SHALL BE IN THE WINTER AND IT'S GOING TO BE THE MOST BEAUTIFUL CEREMONY EVER MY DEAREST LESBIAN LOVER!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

my favourite game of all time is the last of us part two!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! i fucking adore that game it means the world to me<33333333 but i also really love ghost of tsushima aaand rdr2 aaand god of war ofc aaaand until dawn aaaaaaand i also really really love the latest dead space remake!!!!!!!!!!!! i do ofc love minecraft too i just haven't played that in a while (my computer is shit lmao) oh and papers please is also a fun game!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I DO REALLY RECOMMEND GOD OF WAR BTWW!!!!!!!!!!! ok i am kinda fake bc i have only played the last two games please don't kill me but they really are fucking life changing!!!!!!!!!!! i cried so many times lmao they're so beautifully written, the stories are fucking heartbreaking i love them. and then of course all of the characters... ooohh my goddd kratos and atreus will stay with me forever, i really love brok and sindri too<33333333 PLEASE LET ME KNOW WHEN YOU DO START PLAYING IT I WANT TO HEAR YOUR THOUGHTS HEHEHEHEHEHE

aaaaaand i have been thinking abt playing fallout!!!!!!! i wasn't too interested before if i'm being honest but now that i've seen clips of the show (i have yet to watch it though) i am very much intrigued!!!!!!

#AND WAHH I HOPE WORK WENT WELL DARLING!!!!!!!!#I HOPE YOU'VE BEEN EATING AND DRINKING YOUR WATER #I NEED YOU TO TAKE CARE OF YOURSELF YEAH???#I LOVE YOUUUUUU!!!!!!!!!!!#MWAH MWAH MWAHHH #lesbian lover <3 #friends!!

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eggplantgirlwonder · 1 year ago

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Is That a Third Wheel in Your Pocket or Am I Just Not Supposed To Be Here

Week one of the Marvel Move Couch to 5K Training: ✔ AKA I exercised semi-consistently, so now I get to buy cute work out clothes as a reward. I'm still feeling pretty good about things! The walk-jog section is starting to feel a little repetitive -- I mean, obviously, by the very nature of it being repeated sets it would be, but it feels like the story is struggling to come up with unique narrative reasons to have my character run for such short sprints. Today's adventure with Scottish Thor (and Loki) initially didn't seem like it was going to make much of a big impression on me, but then things got surprisingly ... horny, and I'm only mostly talking about the dragons. Spoiler thoughts under the cut:

So the narrative opens with the implication that my character's been hanging out with Loki since the events of the last episode, as Scottish Thor comes in yelling about how he wasted a day and a half looking for the fake threat Loki tricked him into searching for last time.

Like, this app is definitely not popular enough to get fanfic at the moment, but talk about a clear writing prompt bait.

I genuinely was not expecting to wind up third-wheeling the Asgardian Princes as they got hit on in the training center, but you know what? Absolutely not complaining. Anything to get the blood flowing, right.

Bisexual Loki coming in clutch with the innuendos. Scottish Thor coming in with the heavy-handed (y'know, like his hammer) puns. Very human mortal being ignored as they try to figure out what death-defying hijinks they're going to have to survive this time.

I will admit, in between my out of breath panting, I got a pretty good chuckle that the Earth portion of the Nine Realm Obstacle Course was ... running to catch the bus to work so you don't get fired and fall behind on your rent.

The mirror we stole came back into play quicker than I thought! I figured that'd be a hanging Macguffin for the story end game, but nope. Immediate consequences, ahoy.

Attack of the Teeth Dragons With Halitosis is the name of my Heavy Metal Band's first album

Aaaaaaand once again, my character is thrown into an unknown realm and just expected to be cool with it. Here's looking forward to week two!

#marvel move #six to start #running #scottish thor is a vibe

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yibennianyaji · 1 year ago

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So Bride of Re-Animator is kinda hard to find on any streaming service. I snatched a DVD, so I am taking the opportunity to live blog it. For science

HILL’S HEAD IS FLOATING IN THE DARK LIKE THIS IS THE ROCKY FREAKING HORROR SHOW. CLASSY. Clearly a step up from those neon anatomical drawings in the original. Please forget that bit where it was messily crushed to death in the original. Forget a lot of things.

“You killed my girlfriend and now you want to go to a Peruvian warzone? MY MULLET AND I ARE ON BOARD.”

DAN WE ARE EVEN MORE DIRECTLY BEING FRANKENSTEIN NOW WHY DO YOU NOT UNDERSTAND.

“Let’s go home.”

Oh no I take it back we’re just going to plain REDO the floating Grey’s Anatomy credits from the first flick. Now with….floaty romantic music? BECAUSE LADIES?

My name is Doctor Daniel Cain, and I cannot maintain proper doctor/patient boundaries. This is my associate Doctor Herbert West, who does not approve of me being in the same breathing space as women.

AND NOW. Exposition with the obvious greedy bastard and some guy we don’t really care about.

LOL BODY PARTS KEEP DISAPPEARING FROM OUR MORGUE NBD THOUGH

THAT LAUGH. THAT LAUGH IS A DELIGHT ALWAYS

HERBERT MAKES BAD PUNS. DAD PUNS. THAT IS CANON THANKS TO THIS MOVIE.

This chest of drawers will SURELY protect us from the undead I’ve been experimenting on next door! I SAW IT IN A ZOMBIE MOVIE, DAN.

Paper Mache iguana has nothing on hilarious puppet cat.

DAN. DAN LOOK AT MY ARTS AND CRAFTS. DAN. DAN IT’S VERY SCIENCEY. DAN WHY DON’T YOU LOVE MY EYEBALL PET. WHAT DO YOU MEAN YOU’RE MOVING OUT.

I’m so disappointed I hadn’t seen this before that Steven Universe episode.

HERBERT DON’T BRING UP THE DEAD GIRLFRIEND THAT IS RULE ONE.

“LOOK I SAVED YOU HER HEART WILL YOU LOVE ME NOW”

Oh wow, Dan and Herbert have a nice lil place. It probably came prefurnished, but I like to think of them arguing over curtains.

There is an eyeball hand skittering around and it looks like a scene from MST3K AND I AM PLEASED.

How do pacing.

Ohhhhhhhhh doctor dude you can’t play with the green ooze. ONLY WEST CAN PLAY WITH THE GREEN OOZE STOP FOR THE SAKE OF YOUR LIFE

See, now he’s being attacked by wires.

Dan and Herbert’s brilliant corpse stealing scheme involves Weekend at Bernie’s sunglasses. Of course it does.

Let’s all have a hilarious comedy of errors about hiding our reanimated body parts!

Hello my baby, hello my honey, hello my ragtime heaaaaaaad

OH FRANCESCA HONEY. DON’T DO IT. You seem nice, and nobody makes it out of kissing Dan alive. RUN.

Dean Halsey: the only one who didn’t make it out of this retcon alive

Isn’t a sequel supposed to be LESS ponderous and slow than its predecessor?

THE DEAD CAN SENSE THE PLOT DEATH ON YOU. RUN.

Can this whole movie just be Dan and Herbert sciencing over low-end practical gore effects? These scenes are fun

Ahhhh, Herbert’s paranoid now about his work being stolen. A shred of character continuity!

Aaww, Herbert’s so cute when he smiles about living, disembodied limbs. Then immediately glares up when he realizes Dan has left him to see this alone.

Aaaaaaand that’s a foot-hand. Fand. A walking fand. That’ll…show him?

Oh hey, Dan owns the perfectly white sheets found only in that “Total Eclipse of the Heart” music video!

Herbert no. Do not jealously spy on Dan having sex. That’s weird. That’s not going to help your wooing. Why are you wooing him with corpses.

DON’T KICK HIM WHILE HE’S DOWN, DETECTIVE CREEPO

That is some REAL GOOD SEX if Dan doesn’t hear all this shouting and banging around down in the Lab of Secrets

I mean technically he does a lot of self defensive murdering and using of natural corpses. Cinnamon Herbert 2023?

YOU KNOW WHAT THIS REMINDS ME OF. YOU KNOW WHAT. HERBERT IS MRS. LOVETT AND DAN IS SWEENEY TODD. HOLY SHIT. IT ALL MAKES SENSE NOW.

Smol scientist gets tossed around a lot in this’n

DAN HE BEATS UP LADIES IT IS TOTALLY OKAY TO KILL HIM AGAIN GO FOR IT

FRANCESCA YOU WERE A DOCTOR IN A WAR ZONE SURELY YOU HAVE BETTER PRESERVATION SKILLS THAN THIS

NO NOT THE DOG. FUCK YOU, MOVIE

“Hey Dan I reanimated your girlfriend’s dog do you love me now? Does this count as a Good?”

“YES I gave him a human hand, what did you not want me to IMPROVE him?”

Whaaaaaaaat do you mean that caused her to leave you well I GUESS THAT MEANS WE CAN GO BACK TO SCIENCING NOW.

Why won’t he talk to me I AM CONFUSE.

every second of Herbert West, Confused Scientist Courter is gold

“Y’see, terminal patient, I sort of like to think of you as my dead girlfriend. That’s not creepy, is it?”

Oh movie. You had to put literal blood on his hands, didn’t you.

….Have you actually left that room in these several days, doctor whose name I didn’t actually catch?

Remember how Hill could control the dead in the first movie and it made the least sense? WE’RE BRINGING IT BACK WITH LESS SENSE NOW

YES. PUT HIM IN THE TRASH. BUT STOMP ON HIM FOR GOOD MEASURE.

REALLY FURNACE SCHMUCK? Surely West’s GROSSLY RAMPANT MISOGYNY is pretty apparent at this point

AH THERE IS THE GAY I HAVE BEEN MISSING. Sad puppy eyes Herbert. Just wants Dan to SCIENCE with him like they used to.

Herbert this is the worst seduction speech ever. YOU STOLE HIS PILLOW TALK TO USE ON HIM

Well this is officially the best scene. Good job Jeffrey Combs

WHY IS HILL EVEN IN THIS MOVIE

Uh…..yeah Dan. We have rats. just rats. Totally not my experiments

And there’s a thunderstorm. Of course there’s a thunderstorm

“OH MY GOOOOOD HE WANTS TO PARTICIPATE WE ARE GONNA BE SUCH GREAT DADS TO THIS CORPSE.”

There is a head with bat wings for ears. It is flying around the living room

Just

thought you might all like to know that

Also undead abuse victim is getting her reanimated revenge on undead dickwad cop. So….that subplot happened

All of the budget went into the makeup work on the Bride, didn’t it

I mean it’s a pretty lovely guro design

Dan please don’t try to bone her she was just born what are you doing she doesn’t know what consent is

What is your fascination with the undead old lady, movie

Herbert does not know how to empathy. That is not how you treat the newly sentient

Herbert you wouldn’t have this problem if you didn’t leave so many zombies running around

Whoaaaaaaa Dan has skipped merrily right off the deep end

“MY GOD. THEY’RE USING TOOLS.”

FUCK YEAH COMBS DOING MONOLOGUES

Ah, he’s gone from /I/ created life to OUR girl. And then to “dead tissue.” Whatever will keep Dan on his side, I suppose.

DAN THIS IS NOT HER FAULT WHY ARE YOU BEING A DICK

The recurrence of the spurned lover offering the heart as a gift. Poor Bride. Poor Herbert, even if he’s also a terrible human

Okay now, this is just a poor excuse to have a corpse party

Ooooh, nice decomposition effect

Head. Bat wings.

AND the zombies are poorly lit. Boooo

I believe this is what they call hubris, Herbert

THAT IS THE WORST ENDING. GO BACK AND TRY AGAIN.

Pacing’s poor, flabbiest 90 minutes I’ve ever seen. But I DID enjoy the bits where Dan and Herbert got to play off each other again (and wow is Herbert the jealous type). Worth watching for that.

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