#aaaaa im proud of myself for finishing something like this to the end

[maraschinotopped]

cringetober day 30 (halloween)!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! oh my GOD i actually finished a full month prompt list for once!!!!!!!!! im so proud of myself!!!!!!!!! i drew my sonas in costume and then a halloween party featuring some of my ocs from the story in my head <3 yippeeeee now i can sleep-in (in the art department) for a month ^-^

anyways happy halloween!!!!!

the halloween party picture was originally going to be much larger but i ended up only being able to finish the above :( i was busy handing out candy to trick or treaters and also it was just very time consuming to draw augh. heres the wip i managed to complete.

[yourdemiurge]

hello mady i am extremely late i just finished reading erik's chapter! this week's been so busy! I saw that you had updated and i was ripping my hair out because i couldn't find time to read but i finally did it today. I am proud to say that reading it has only made me rip out more of my hair I am confused, terrified, heartbroken, angry, gobsmacked, jumping out of the balcony because WHAT IS GOING ONNN AAAAA

the scene about the bird really had me screaming wtf!!!  I was so confused why wille told erik he didnt love simon that one day and now it makes sense oh my god- (i really hope im not clowning) i had to go read chapter 4 again and the way wilhelm asked erik "why did you do that" makes sense nowwww I love how the everything's coming together this is so exciting MADY

THE CONVERSATION BETWEEN ERIK AND SARA TOOO OH MY GOD (again hope im not clowning that'll be very embarrassing when the fic comes to and end)

getting more insight about the characters is so interesting, loved the part about erik's hillerska days. I hate him now but that's okay he deserves it.

I legit wasn't suspicious of erik as much as i was in august but good lord you've just plucked my pea brain out and tossed it into an endless pit. i literally sat still staring at the wall for like 5 minutes after reading the chapter. I already had trust issues they are multiplied now.

the conversation of a royal wedding made me cry btw that was very heart wrenching i did not want that today (do it again i love sadness)

almost forgot to mention that i absolutely am in love with the chess metaphor! your writing is so freaking goooood

as usual, can't wait for more mady! i can't even imagine how good it'll feel to re-read the whole fic again once it's finished and find that the clues were there all along! 

i also did a little something because i had time today 👉🏼👈🏼 I've been thinking about doing this for a while because i really love tdlp and i so badly wanted to make a cover! im not good but i tried! there's two with only a tiny difference, im leaving both of them here because i am extremely indesicive. they are really choppy tho rip my butter fingers (i legit had to give sara rhinoplasty because I accidentally erased half of her nose and noticed it a little too late💀) i also didn't add marcus i swear i thought about it i just couldn't bring myself to do it- anyways, hope you like them hehe💜 take care of yourself!

Hello, it's so nice to see you back in my asks! Your message has me 😭

I don't really know how to thank you enough for all the love you've shown for my works, especially TDLP. I mean, just look at this reaction! And those wonderful edits! You're amazing and very talented. I wonder if you have Twitter? I was hoping to share this.

But seriously, thank you so much 💜💜💜

Your interpretation of Erik is right so far, and I'm glad you read his very first POV chapter because it all relates to each other. Brace yourself for the next chapters, we've just gone up the rollercoaster and we're about to take the plunge soon.

[ha1taniwh0re]

Do you take request? If yes then is it alright that I request William's S/O & Sherlock's S/O hate each other everytime they met and when they met they started to fight each other who has a better bf and who is more intelligent. If you like, little smut won't hurt for a fluff at the end 😔

Sure thing, i will try smut but be aware that i wrote it just once so if its not good please have a heart to understand why is like that💕

I really like your idea i hope this is what you wanted💕

Ladys don’t like each other

/reader’s pov/

My boyfriend William, his brother Louis and I went on our train back to London. We were just sitting and eating our lunch but from somewhere detective Sherlock Holmes came to our table.

“AAAAA IS THAT YOU LIAMMM?!”, he said and just sat with us.

“Mr. Holmes pleasure to see you again”.

As Liam was good as always to this detective, Louis and I were super pissed that he came to our table.

“SHERLOCK YOU CANT JUST SIT TO SOMEONE’S TABLE!!”

I heard some girl’s voice. Voice that i hate.

She came to our table and our eyes met.

“(Name) Moriarty”, she said unhappy.

“(Girls name) Holmes”, i said unhappy too.

“What are you doing here??” She asked.

“Me? Just sitting with my PERFECT family. And you?” I said.

She looked at me with stupid face.

“I getting back to London with my SMART boyfriend ”, she said.

“Its cute that he is smart but mine is smarter one here”, i said and hugged Liam’s arm.

“That’s not-“

We heard someone screaming. We came to see what happened and saw dead man. Sherlock asked Liam to compete who will solve this first.

“Now everyone will see that MY boyfriend is smarter”, I said.

“Yeah right eat dust bitch”. She said.

“WHAT DID YOU CALLED ME?!” I said.

I started walking to her but my boyfriend took my hand and pulled me back.

/time skip/

We got back to London and Liam and Sherlock solved it in the same time so I can’t rub it on (girl’s name)’s face.

“Well we solved it at the same time”, Sherlock said.

“Yes, Im glad that we did it on the time”, Liam said.

“Liam im so proud of you!! You did so much today”, i said.

“He did yeah but MY boyfriend did more”, she said.

“Girls let’s stop this nonsense”, Sherlock said.

“I will agree with Sherlock”, Liam said.

“SHUT UP”, we said.

“WILLIAM IS BETTER HE IS PROFESSOR ON UNIVERSITY!!!” I said.

“SHERLOCK IS THE BEST DETECTIVE IN LONDON!!” She said.

“WILLIAM IS BETTER BOYFRIEND HE ALWAYS GIVES ME ATTENTION!”

“SHERLOCK ALWAYS LET ME TO GO WITH HIM ON HIS MISSIONS!”

“GIRLS STOP!!!” They said.

We looked at them a little bit questionable.

“Why are you arguing about this??” Liam asked.

“We are different types of boyfriends. You can’t compare us. We are the best boyfriends in different ways”.Sherlock said.

(Girl’s name) and I just looked at each other and I went to my carriage and she just stood there next to Sherlock.

As three of us got home i went to my and Liam’s room to prepare myself for sleep, but William had other plans.

He got into our room and huged me from behind.

“My sweet lady. You are so cute when you are angry”, he said with that angelic smile.

But in one second that smile became devils smirk.

“But i think you need a punishment for being like that all day”.

He took me to our bed and gentle placed me on it. He looked straight into my eyes and I could see pleasure in his eyes. He started kissing me every where. From my lips to my other lips. My nightclothes were ripped apart.

“Heyyy!!”, I said.

“ I will buy you new one”, he said.

He started kissing me hungry. Like im his dinner or something. As i was enjoying this moment i didn’t release that he took off his t-shirt and unzipped his pants. When he wanted to put that dick inside me we heard knock on the door.

“Ni-sann, (name)-chan dinner is ready”, Louis said.

“Okey, thank you Louis”, William said.

As we heard him leaving the door Liam started fucking me. He didn’t wait a minute more.

“Ah~ Liam”

“Shhh be quite I need to give you your punishment quickly, dinner is ready”, he said.

He started doing it faster and faster. I finished at least 3 times. When I finished 3th time he did the same. I was dead.

“I believe that this is your lesson to stop fighting with Lady Holmes”.

“It is my love. I will skip dinner Im feeling really sleepy”.

I closed my eyes and only thing I heard before he closed the door was his chuckle.

“Good night princess”, he said.

[lunatens]

HI LUNA I'M SO SORRY I'VE BEEN MIA BUT IM BACK NOW EHEHEHE lksjdflksd i love spelling it's just so interesting how words,,, come together?? like what? who ever thought? why not add those extra u's in there? THANK YOU I WROTE ONE ESSAY PER DAY SO NOT THE MOST PRODUCTIVE BUT LIKE I GOT THEM DONE AND THEY'RE PRETTY OKAY IMO SO YAY!!! slkdjfkds i read that as "you're too young" and i was like '??? okey dokey' but it's true!! i could never art haha i mean obv practice but,,, i'll stick to ++

NO WORRIES AT ALL BB IT IS A-OKAY 😎😎 BUT WELCOME BACK HEHE 💖💘💘💓💓

woAH an essay a day :o listen that sounds pretty productive to me and u know what doing something every day is better than nothing!!! 😌😌😌 which is what i did oops haha the new semester starts monday and i haven’t finished my final film backgrounds yet aaaaa i’m pROUD !! u wrote those essays!!!!!! best writer ever i think 🤩🤩

SLFKDKSJ YES ITS SO TRUE like ah yes,, gotta,,, study their personalities and stuff mhm yes homework it’s important 😌 aND YES TBZ = WOWOWOWOW 🥺🥺 such amazing boys (or..boyz hehe)

AND YES UR ASKS LITERALLT MAKE ME SO HAPPYYYYYY 😭😭😭 i love them so much ok it’s always so fuN to come on here and be like ohohoho what does 🌻 have to say today!!!! you’re always so sweet and so funny i 😭💖💘💘💘💓

oh yes it’s bang chan lol!!! too many chans 😳 but yeah idk why he just gave me chan vibes so i was like i dub thee chan and that was like two years ago i think? so then i was like well gotta name them all after idols now ig 🥴 but yeah it’s not something i like go out and tell people really so we good 😌😌

LOL as you can see it was not on anon but yes that’s ok!!! i’ve seen u in my notifs hehehe and now i know it’s you!! 🤩🤩 now we can be moots hehe alsO UR NAME IS STORM THATS SO COOL :O

ALSO OKAY Y/N IS 🧠🤏SMALL BRAIN OK don’t ask me why in sm!aus i always gotta make y/n be ✨extremely stoopid✨ at least to some degree glsksk but grrRRR tbh girl needs to have some sense knocked back into her 😤😤dw dw it’ll all be ok in the end or will it?👀

OFMGKSK HOME RUN ON THE LATE LATE SHOW 😭😭😭😭 THEY DID SUCH A GOOD JOB i loved the concept omg 🥺 also dw it’s okay i’ve watched the performance on youtube like a million times (my dad walked in and was like they have a lot of backup dancers and i was like No That’s Just Them)

i’m glad you’ve been doing well!! i’m so sorry things there have been so bad though, i hope you’re doing ok with all that pls you can always talk to me as much as you want about it!!!!!! gosh what a week indeed, i hope things will start to get better soon even if it’s just a little bit at a time 🥺💖 it will be okay!

DLGKJS YOURE SO SWEET I CANT—i’m feeling good though and eating and drinking water and sleeping and all that jazz!! i’m..not being as productive as i should but it’s so hard to motivate myself to do school stuff when i’m at home on break 😔 i’m going back up north tomorrow though! which i’m a lil not looking forward too skfjdjsj mostly because i don’t wanna go back to school where i have like basically no free time at all 😭😭 oh well in 4 months i’ll be done forever 😼😼

ANYWAYS that was so sweet of u like my heart is 💗💗💗💗 omg 🥺🥺 also all those questions back at you how are yOU are you taking care of yourself??? getting outside and stuff?? 🔫 i hope you’ve had a lovely day/night too!!!! forever sending u all the love 😌💖💝💝💕💞💗💓💘💖

[tumblunni]

Okay the BIG TODAY THING

It seems i might possibly be gone for six months

I've been talking with my support worker about taking a course at this place thats uhh apparantly gonna help me get better with the depressions and stuff. And we had a meeting to go look around the place and make introductions and stuff but i had NO IDEA it would be all such short notice! I might have to move in IN TWO DAYS FROM NOW, what the fuck!!! And like if its not that its gonna be at the end of the week or next tuesday at the latest. Im so fuckin unprepared and im really freakin out!!

..uhh...how to describe it..well i guess its literally a mental asylum? But it's absolutely NOTHING like the horror movie stereotype! Its not a hospital with cages or locked rooms, its just like a big comfy cute shared house. Like a bunch of completely normal small apartment rooms but they just happen to be all connected to a shared kitchen and stuff and have on site nurses and a big schedule of therapy sessions and group activities like pottery class or bowling. You have the freedom to come and go as you please if you're on "voluntarily admitted" status (that's me!) and even if you're on what they call "sectioned" its still not scary loss of all your freedom. The highest level of sectioning is just like "requires an escort"? You're still allowed to go outside but you have a higher level of supervision from your key worker because you could potentially be a danger to yourself. But that's very rare and most people are only on maximum sectioning for a few weeks at the start of their treatment, if they've come straight from a situation of self harm or other concern factors. Most of the "sectioned" patients just have a time limit on how long they can spend on unsupervised outside activity. It's a pretty generous 8 hours apparantly!

So yeah i was getting worried about nothing, thinking i was gonna be in big scary solitary confinement and locked inside a tiny broom closet or jabbed with brain lazers. It honestly just seems like a summer camp resort for adults! And everyone there seems very nice, and im excited for being able to learn life skills like cooking and potential steps towards getting educational qualifications someday. And to have the help of a more specialist support worker who can assist me with even the smallest little problems. Like this nice lady Tazmin (who might be the one i get?) was saying how they've had other people with social anxiety before, and how we could plan "gradual exposure" to all the things that scare me. Like she said she'd be able to come with me and we'd take the bus and them get off at the next stop. That'd honestly be really helpful to help me get over being scared of the crowded spaces on buses, but i'd never be able to do it normally cos i'd be too embarassed taking such a short bus ride. Plus well itd be a waste of money,but if i'm a patient here i would get a free bus pass so it wouldnt be a problem.

Oh and the area seems really nice! Its so different from my stupid house right now in a crowded neighbourhood with NOTHING but houses everywhere for a mile! Its seriously almost a mile's walk to the ONE SINGULAR SHOP IN THE AREA and they close on sundays and dont sell vegetarian food. :( This area around the shared house thingie is a really nice bustling shops place but not super shops? Like i mean its a lovely village that has all the small shops you need, not a huge skyscrapers busy tourist place. The perfect balance of conveinient and not scary! They have a library and a park so close to the place, and a bazillion charity shops holy FUCK im so excited to have charity shops again!! I think you call them thrift shops in america? But i just always really love bargain hunting and finding nice surprises in places like that! And there's places to do pottery classes and group trips sometimes to do stuff like cinema or bowling or just having your big ol scary therapy meeting at the nice coffee shop at the end ot the road.

So yeah dont worry about me guys, im not trapped in some horribke hell place! I'm sure it'll be as non threatening as an Intensive Therapy Boot Camp can possibly be, im just still nervous as hell cos well yeah I Have Social Anxiety And That Is Why I Am Here In The First Place. Im scared im not gonna be able to succeed at this. I really wanna leave at the end and be all mentally buffed up and ready to make all these nice nurses proud!

Oh and man Richard has been so nice about this?? He was super freaked out and apologetic about it being Scary Short Notice, we had a bit of a dumb misunderstanding where he clearly told me and i clearly said yes but i somehow completely misunderstood what he was saying and thought i was saying yes to something else??? So im so fuckin glad that at the very end of the appointment right when i was gonna get out the car he was like 'oh so remember your suitcase on wednesday' and i was like WHAT. Like man can you imagine how much more terrifying it would have been if i just turned up on wednesday with no supplies but the shirt off my back and was like 'wtf where is he driving me OH GOD NO'. Bunni why you so bad at the good of talking!! Seriously richard thanks so much for clearing it up but also AAAAA i accidentally agreed to the shortest of short notice and i dont know if he's gonna be able to reschedule it!!!

And man i was there crying in his car about how i dont wanna be in hospital on my birthday, and babbling all the different things i had planned fot the next few months. And GOD DAMN MY DUMB BRAIN i ended up blurting out that i had a preorder of a videogame that i was gonna miss. And i straight up started explaining pokemon to my mental health counseller who is also a dj, how damn fake does my life sound?? Anyway he said that i'll still be able to keep him as my support worker when i get back out of this, and we'll still have weekly or monthly meetings while i'm in there. And he keeps reminding me that i'm free to leave if i feel uncomfortable, but i know that i'd feel like a failure if i did! So he legit fuckin goddamn said (THIS SOUNDS SO FAKE) that i could take a day off when the dumb game comes out, and he'd play co op pokemon with me. HOLY GEEZUS RICHARD YOU'RE LIKE THAT HOLY GRAIL OF THERAPISTS! And man he even said it wasnt embarassing for me to sleep with a teddy bear and he'd help me pack it up safe and ensure nobody saw it while we move my bags into my new room. And then i was like "uhh but also the teddy bear is a giant lifesize embarassing pokemon merchandise" and he was like "okay so we need DOUBLE STEALTH". Apparantly the new sequel to Pokemon Go is Pokemon Sneak! God he helped calm me down from this freakout so much, he's always great with lil jokes and motivational sayings. And i talked about how i first started being interested in Obscure Deep Sea Slug Facts because pokemon has some characters based on weird real life animals, and like its Very Educational Honest, And Has Appeal For Both Kids And Adults. How on earth did this turn into Motovational Pokemon Blabber Time??? Anyway thats how i ended up texting a professional psychologist pictures of gastrodon at 7.30pm.

SO

Yeah

In summary

I'm mostly just worried cos this is short notice! And cos its such a big commitment that being short notice is Super Bad. I need to friggin clean the whole house top to bottom in two days, so it doesnt get all gross and attract flies while im gone. And i need to toss out like a hundred bucks worth of frozen food that aint gonna keep for 6 months. And i need to wash all my damn clothes. And i dont even have a suitcase and this is at a terrible time where i dont get paid for a week so i cant buy a new one right now!! And damn i DONT EVEN KNOW WHAT TO TAKE AAAAAA

And the BIGGEST PROBLEM

Is that i wont be able to talk to you guys for half a year!!!

They dont have wifi and im not allowed to take my computer anyway. They only allow laptops and all i have is a desktop and AAAA its too short notice to save up enough to get a laptop mannnnn! Fuck man i didnt even think about that, i need to go pause my broadband internet for six months, do they even allow you to come back after that long?? And man part of me wants to ask to borrow money from friends to get a laptop but i know this time i cant promise to pay you back within the month cos AAAGH ALL OF THIS SHIT!! Like damn man if anyone is willing to let me pay back a hundred and fifty quid in 6 months??not bloody likely!! And man the only place to get a laptop in TWO GODDAMN DAYS is stupid fuckin Amazon :( but god im gonna go stir crazy being unable to do art or gamemaking or friggin anything to occupy myself!! I can bring my 3ds but i barely have any games for it and ive already finished all of them except harvest moon a new beginning which i quit cos it was bad. And the screen is broken anyway gahhh. SO MANY THINGS I NEED MONEY FOR IN SUCH A SHORT AMOUNT OF TIME THAT IS NON CONDUCTIVE TO MONEYING

So anyway GAHH i wont have an internet connection in the house, and i'll be able to walk down the hill and use the library computers hopefully at least weekly, but they forbid all social media sites. So like can i get the emails of everyone who wants to keep in contact? Man i dont know how im gonna manage this AAAAA!!! i will send u loads of pics of scenic asylum beauty and dumb updates on my stupid life of probably very little progress.

And AGGGHHH i dont even have the time to plan a blog queue or anything fuck man geez aaaaaaaa

I NEED TO BUY A NEW PAIR OF TROUSERS WITHOUT HOLES IN THE KNEES man i cant live on singular pantage in a shared house

[sleepykichii]

11 Questions Tag

i was tagged by @pinkheichou @tiny-heichou and @salbelni so that's uh...that's 33 questions holy shit this is gonna be forever long lmaoo

Rules: 1. Always post the rules 2. Answer the questions given by the person who tagged you 3. Write 11 questions of your own 4. Tag 11 people

idk if it’ll tag you guys if i put them under the cut so! i tag: @tokyo-ghouls-eat-rawmen @kingtatsunari @bertoltssweat @sluttttysurveycorps @piningmarco @lesliebruhleria @iviarka @softymir @dallyingdivergent @levi-nyanchou @noodlesforlyfe  don’t feel obligated to do this!! 

1. Is there a book/movie that you’ve read/watched many times? Which one? i usually dont like rewatching/rereading things but my guilty pleasure is snk, i love to watch the dubbed episodes and compare it to the subbed episodes, i love going back and noticing details i couldnt bc i was reading subtitles, comparing manga panels to anime scenes, yknow, lil things like that 2. What do you love most about your friends? they try their best to cheer me up when they know i'm feeling down~ 3. Ever been a witness to someone doing something hella embarrassing? (You don’t have to tell anything about it) uh yeah, my best friend irl fell and literally slid down her stairs when she was drunk after prom last year and wanted to do it again 4. A fandom you didn’t think you would ever be a part of? tbh danganronpa. on my old blog, before i got back into watching anime, i thought their hair was rly...unique, to say the least, and didn't think i would ever give it the time of day 5. Do you have a “trash character” you like? komaeda :') and ouma, i know a lot of ppl rly don't like him lmao 6. Pastel or Black? black, i love pastels but i look rly good in black lmao 7. Pet peeves? when ppl ignore/interrupt me, unneccesary loud noises, lack of privacy, AND WHEN PPL CHEW WITH THEIR MOUTH OPEN OH MY GOD 8. If you had one free wish what would it be? (Wishing for xx/endless wishes is not allowed) i would wish to bring immense joy to myself and every person i crossed paths with! 9. What are your favourite tropes/AUs for your ships? holy SHIT im a slut for AUs. i lovelovelove actor AUs, zombie/post apocalyptic AUs, high school/boarding school AUs, college AUs, summercamp AUs, band AUs, coffee shop AUs, apartment AUs...i could rly go on but i'll stop lmaooo 10. Are you an emotional person? VERY 11. Are you more attracted to popular ships or rare pairs? i dont rly have a preference, if i see a ship i like, it's popularity doesn't concern me c:

1. Whats your favorite book? i rly don't know, i haven't read a book in forever fml i've already read all the books on my shelf and they're like...8th grade reading level :-// my most recent read was more than this by patrick ness and it was pretty good! 2. Do you collect anything? stickers!! i love stickers so much lmao what else...cute pins, and i'm slowly building a collection i call 'roadside paintings' where -- you guessed it -- i pick up deserted paintings on the side on the road. i currently have two hanging up in my room! 3. The last Song you listened to? sir sly - high 4. Do you like Tea? If yes whats your favorite kind of tea? fuck yeah!! tea > coffee, all day every day. i rly love blueberry acai green tea and papaya passionfruit black tea!! 5. Whats the first Anime/Manga you ever watched/read? if u wanna get technical, sailor moon was the first ever, but naruto is the first one i went out of my way to watch. the first manga was shugo chara! i would probably still read it bc the characters are adorable and the plot is interesting! 6. Whats your favorite childhood movie? pokemon 2000!! 7. Your favorite poem? the universe took its time on you crafted you precisely so you could offer the world something distinct from everyone else so when you doubt how you were created you doubt an energy greater than us both -rupi kaur 8. Your favorite Painting? i don't rly have one!! 9. Whats the most amazing thing that happened to you? still somehow being alive right this very second 10. Whats the Title of the last Fanfiction you have read? i wanna say it was something simple like 'roommates' or along those lines, i honestly haven't read fanfiction in a couple weeks;; 11. Write 3 Book, Fanfic and Manga Title that you totally recommend! i have the comprehension skills of a potato so idk if you mean three of each or three total so i'm just gonna do three total book: more than this - patrick ness (rly good, rly weird. makes you think about our reality a little more. worth a reread when you're finished so you can piece all the information together) fanfic: blue bear - afishoutofwater (snk/eremin - i was in tears by the end of this, it's so sad but very well written. major character death & angst, just a heads up!) manga: killing stalking (hoo boy. this isnt for the faint of heart, lots of dark themes along the lines of torture and murder. not everyone's cup of tea, and that's okay!! <3)

① What are you most proud of? this is probably stupid to be proud of but it's the first thing that came to mind even though i wasnt that good, i made it into my eighth grade talent show playing the keyboard i got up there in front of the entire middle school and fucked up tremendously BUT I DIDNT CHICKEN OUT! so!! +1 point for tay woohoo ② Have you ever been so impressed you were left speechless? if you mean impressed by someone's level of stupidity, yeah lmaooo, otherwise not rly ③ What’s your favorite time of day? 10AM - 2-3PM, i'm the only one awake during these hours (unless my mom has work) and the house is completely silent for once ④ Is there a certain song that gives you goosebumps everytime you hear it? history maker from yoi gave me goosebumps for a while but no song has consistently given me goosebumps lmao ⑤ Is there something, let it be a hobby/food/movie/book/song/etc., from your childhood that you still love today? i still collect stickers and i still rly love beanie babies...i also don't mind watching the berenstein bears/dragon tales with my niece bc those were my faves when i was a kid ⑥ What never fails to make you happy? my morning solitude and fluffy art/fanfics of my otps!! ⑦ Do you dream? If so, which one was most memorable? i dream sometimes, but my fave reccurring dream is where everything is neon, like the saturation has been yanked up 100%, and i'm just walking down a sidewalk minding my own business, and then it starts raining acid and everything starts melting away until i'm just kinda floating in the void lmao i usually wake up right after everything disappears ⑧ Who’s your favorite tumblr artist/writer/editor/etc.? Feel free to name/tag more than one! the first one that came to mind was @glassesgirl0401, rarepair mom for life ; v ; ⑨ What’s your favorite fanart? Could you please link to its source? omg i love every piece of fanart tht i reblog i cant pick just one!! i rly love how everyone has their own art style and ways of drawing certain things differently, the individuality is what makes art so amazing! ⑩ What’s your headcanoned sexuality/gender identity/romantic orientation of your favorite SNK character? omg there's so many tht i like aaaaa if i had to pick just one, it would be armin and he's hella gay :3 ⑪ ^May I draw them with their pride flag’s colors for you? AAAAAA PLEASE?? that would be so great?! thank you!!! <3

here are my questions, i tried to make them interesting! 1.) If you had one, what was your 'stereotype' in school? (jock, nerd, goth, etc) 2.) What are your favorite and least favorite foods? 3.) Who is your favorite character from your current fandom and why? 4.) If you could change one thing about yourself, what would it be? 5.) What are your favorite hobbies? 6.) Spring, Summer, Fall, or Winter? 7.) What's one obstacle you've overcome recently? 8.) Yes or no: Pineapple on pizza? Fries dipped in mayonnaise? Ketchup on eggs? 9.) What is your most resourceful skill? 10.) If you could pick three fictional characters to bring to life, who would they be and why? 11.) What is the end-goal for you; What do you want to do with your life?

thanks for reading this far lmao sorry that took a lot longer than i thought it would

[onlyjihoons]

boyfriend!daehwi

a/n; i felt bad not giving magumagu a scenario of his own,, so here is an au,,,,,this is also gonna be a lil lengthy so grab your snacks and prepare yourself for the fluffiest bf au you will ever read and also i might be swerving for him thanks cheryl and im sorry jihoon

a totally last minute thing i suppose

i wanted to write to just isolate myself from reality

so ok enough deep shit w zechu

leggo

ok so

you’re in the same school as daehwi since like?? middle school or something

and ya’ll weren’t close like him and somi ukno

but still friends!!

ngl when you guys were about to choose high schools your heart decided that it was a good time to have a crush on him

i mean

just look at him

oops

pls i was snatched by the entire fancam smh

pls dont bash me

im the same age as him

moving on

he’s legitimately nice to every.single.being he meets and he just can’t seem to hate anyone tbh

and ukno those fantasies of him composing music on your anniversary??

yep

anyhow

you said your final goodbyes at the graduation

daehwi was like 

“y/n,, i have something to tell you”

your heart was bbbeating

what could it be

does he hate me

does he like me???

all those thoughts ran through your mind

and then he was like “never mind,, forget it ithinkyoudontlikeme”

you were legit so confused 

cause one time hes serious and one time hes like never mindsjdnsvibdv

youre like

“ok what i didn’t quite catch the last part”

“i--its nothing, y/n,, good luck in high school!”

and that’s how you guys parted

on the way home you kept thinking about it but over time you just forgot about it

until you enrolled into high school

it was your first day in school 

and honestly you started school not on the conventional first day of school

it was like on the second day or smth

you were so nervous cause ukno hanlim,, is a school of uber talented people

twice’s tzuyu

twice’s chaeyoung

redvelvet’s yeri

^just to name a few

and you got in by a teacher’s recommendation

by dance what’s new lmao zelia you gotta start changing ideas

ok back to first day of school

you stepped into class when it was homeroom

and you felt so many eyes on you and you wanted to cri tbh

they all look so judgemental

“h--hello my name is y/n and i major in practical dance,, p--please take care of me!”

“well, y/n, welcome to hanlim. please take the seat next to somi.”

somi. jeon somi.

you didn’t really watch pd101 during the first season but somi was well-known enough for you to know who she is

you bowed politely,, tbh you were a little scared of idols bc if you said smth wrong you would be on pann or smth for offending an idol

aND SHE FLASHED THAT MEGAWATT SMILE AT YOU AND EXCITEDLY SHIFTED OVER TO MAKE SOME SPACE FOR YOU

and you definitely was not expecting that

“y/n!! hi omg im so excited i finally have a tablemate,, lets be friends!!”

well ok ya’ll very conviniently besties at first sight 

but someone was staring at you this whole time 

and you didnt notice

lee

dae

hwi

was the one staring at you!!!!!!!

/cues signal for daehwi/

/sign nalbune signal bulnae/

you were the last person he would expect to see in this school

he knew you could dance but he expected you to go to sopa

but ok lmao he was like almost gonna burn a hole through your uniform with his stare

until the teacher noticed

“lee daehwi? please pay attention.”

you heard the teacher call out that familiar name you missed and whipped your head around

AND YOUR EYES MET HOHOHO MY DEAR READER YOURE SO BLESSED

you could barely believe your eyes but you turned back to face the front if not the teacher will call you out for staring @ daehwi lmao

somi saw you staring at daehwi and was like

“you like him??”

and you were like yes somi bingo i have liked him since middle school and i missed him so much--

but in the end you were like

“he’s my middle school classmate”

“ah really? then that saves me the trouble of introducing ya’ll”

“ok what”

“daehwi and i are good friends,, we trained together in jyp until he left for brand new music”

“he’s a trainee??”

“yeah and he’s gonna be on the second season of produce-- oops”

you were so shook there were too many things happening at once

“what omg first,, he’s a trainee, and second,, he’s gonna be on produce??? JEON SOMI WHY DIDNT YOU TELL ME EARLIER”

somi was like

¯\_(ツ)_/¯  

and soon it was recess and daehwi sped to your table and slammed his palm on the table

“y/n??? is it you???”

“no daehwi it isn’t--”

“shut up somi,,, and yes daehwi i am y/n from (middle school name)”

and lil smol practically hugged you until you deprive of oxygen 

“okok daehwi let go im dying,,”

at this point somi knows whats going on and shes just,,

“guys imma let ya’ll catch up while i get banana milk”

after somi left daehwi just HELD YOUR HANDS IN HIS AND STARES AT YOU LIKE ITS HIS LAST DAY ON EARTH

“ok daehwi i know we haven’t seen each other in a long time but you don’t have to be like this,, you’re making me shy”

“shy??? y/n omg”

“??”

“ok im not gonna be a coward,,”

“daehwi pls stop talking to yourself i’m right here”

“i like you, y/n.”

“are you hallucinating??” you let the back of your hand touch daehwi’s forehead “ do you feel dizzy?”

“i’m serious y/n!”

“we just so-called reunited 3 minutes ago and you say you like me?? im not even--

and he just can’t take it and k i s s e s  y o u

and at this point pls send your prayers for zechu

you were so shook like ???

and also your first kiss has been taken by magumagu,, youre welcome

i mean that’s how they do it in american and korean dramas right

lol

“i have liked you since middle school, y/n,, how can you not notice?”

you’re so dumbfounded you just,,

“i like you too, daehwi”

aAAAA so cute

what a way to start your first day in your high school

ok now on the real boyfriend au guys

lots of fluff ahead

u ready

gr8

lets go

daehwi is a very very very

clingy

playful

sweet

caring

boyfriend

yes

i mean he will deadass wait for you outside your house just to walk you to school

even if your house is all the way in jeju

and i can see that going on dates is never boring

be it like day dates

in the amusement park or just shopping at myeongdong

or in the arcade

one moment is never dull as daehwi will do anything and everything to make you happy

you want that plush toy?? 

hes gonna get it for you

i mean he is the 01′ version of golden child ukno

he can do everything

he got that fluffy unicorn for you in one try

and if ya’ll go out to see cherry blossoms(sigh its summer but ok lmao)

he would take rlly nice and aesthetic shots of you to post on sns

and couple pics,, ult goals ugh omg

and for eating

i saw one fanacc on twt that daehwi doesnt rlly eat well

:(

so as his girlfriend you sorta have to force him to eat

by eating as deliciously as you can

“babe look i’m eating this churro”

“mhm”

“it has condensed milk on it”

“mhm”

“i’m gonna buy a chocolate one”

“c-chocolate?”

“yeah”

/queues up in line for churros/

/gets 2 but eats both/

and be it night dates like exploring the dark town or at hangang river

he’s gonna be one of those boyfriends that use the “i’m cold” joke just to hug you

i mean daehwi’s cuddles are the best so

and go on slow walks

just enjoying each other’s presence

or maybe just a fun sleepover

watching studio ghibli

and of course,, we can’t miss out his cooking

he will deadass cook a 3 course meal for you

and you’re like

pls eat too, i cant finish all those

when ya’ll are watching the movie you would build a pillow fort and cuddle in there

“i really want a totoro irl”

“we can just get the stuffed toy, daehwi”

“no like,, the cat bus”

peck in between uninteresting parts

ya’ll might be throwing fluffy banter throughout the movie too lolol

and when you get sleepy halfway daehwi just grins to himself like an idiot and softly lulls you to sleep by singing

“goodnight jagi, i love you”

rip zechu pt 2

i can imagine daehwi being the big spoon tbh

bc he just loves you sm

he doesn’t want to lose you

OH and when he asks you who’s your bias in pd101

“jihoon-oppa”

“what has jihoon hyung’s wink done to you”

“i’m not voting for you anymore daehwi”

“oK IM SORRY”

he will practically beg you to come to the concept evaluations

bc he has worked so hard for the Never stage omg

and

his dancing

is art

a literal art i would frame up at the louvre

not to mention his singing too???????

pure honey 

when you visit him at backstage he would engulf you in a big big hug

“you did great up there,, daehwi-ah”

“its bc you’re watching me”

“aWWWWWWW”

guess who^

the Never team lmao

and also proud dad dongho lmao

he would avoid jihoon at all costs in case you fangirl and leave him alone lol

wow ok so ya’ll bump into jihoon which like have a tickle fight

“daehwi? is that your girlfriend?”

gOtTA bLaST

“n-no, its my friend...”

“oh really? i saw ya’ll hugging in the hallway just now”

“...”

“last long!”

“that’s,, park jihoon right??”

“no its park hoonji”

lmao daehwi you piece of shit

ya’ll rarely fight bc you guys are so loving both your parents and his parents practically want the both of you to get married lololol

ok i shall end it here my brain juice has run dry

please give daehwi lots of love

thanks

ok

have a good day/night friends

thank you for reading!

[tumblunni]

Aaaa phewf a good but scary dayyyyy

I totally forgot i was due for a meeting with the Super Rehab Center For Brain Bads. Its like this intensive boot camp version of therapy, basically? Its a shared housing accommodation where you'd have individual nurses and do lots of lessons and classes every day to work on your particular needs, while also having a bit of a shared community and helping you ykbow meet other people like you and such? So its very scary but also could be really good for me but also its a big commitment and aaaa

Anyway you might recall i talked about this like a year ago and as far as i knew it wasnt actually an opyion for me and i'd got my hopes up/got my anxieties up all fot nothing. Well recently they just suddenly called me back and gave us this short notice appointment! I didnt even khnow i was on the waiting list!!

So yeah it was Big Anxious to go to a big meeting with them again and with different people and a more intense assesment and discussion of the possibilities. But also now i was worried cos i didnt know anymore of i should be here? Like they originally booked me in for this because was in a REALLY bad place mentally last year, like never going outsode for weeks and never cleaning the house and not taking my pills and not going to dpctors appointments and i was just desperate to do ANYTHING that could get me out of this shitty town even if it meant living in an intensive therapy hospital communal dorm thing for a year. And now i've improved quite a bit so i dont know if maybe i was worrying too much and this is something too drastic? Like man is this for people with more serious problems? Am i taking away resources that could be helping someone more ill than me? And also i never even started getting anxious about the size of thecommitment last time, i was just desperate to move house and i didnt even tgink about how i have to survive a year of extra anxiety to fight my anxiety...

So anyway we had that meeting today and i was so freaked the fuck out that as we speak right now i cannot actually fully see and im mostly touch typing. I had so much of a panic attack that i hit off the damn eye twitching dizziness super symptom hell and i nearly fainted when i had to stand up at the end of the meeting and walk out the door. Like holy shit so much adrenaline burning thru my braaaaaainnnn!!! Im gonna be exhausted in a minute i bet. But i'm extra proud of myself cos my new support worker richard said that it didnt show on my face how much i was panicking, i successfully managed to keep that anxiety attack under control and finish yhe conversation with grace! And he also said its no trouble when i ask him for help and stuff cos its not just his job but a job he loves, and he was happy to spend the day this way, knowing he helped someone like me through someyhinh so important. HE'S THE FUCKIN NICEST MAN EVER

also incidentally i also learned he's a SURPRISE GRANDPA?? Like not really, i mean he's more in the older adult range, but he just dropped it casually in conversation that he's 50 and i thought he was like 28?? I mean i have prosopagnosia so i suck at recognising facial expressions but i think even normal peopke would agree he looks hella young! Thats awesome he's even more smart and experienced than i thought!! No wonder he's been so amazing at his job! And he's extra awesome for how he's a dj if he didnt grow up as surrounded by computers and stuff, yknow?

ALSO A RELATED FACT:HE JUST CASUALLY DROPPED THAT HE'S A DJ

He has a fuckin 'sound room' in his house with 'a million microphones' and he brought it up cos i was sayibg about how i wanted to learn video editing and stuff and he said he can give me a free microphone from one of his spares! Damn i need to find a way to pay him back cps he won't take actual money for it, aaaa!! And also hehelped me remember the name of that one animation software i wanted to get someday, and he offered to teach me all his Super Secrets Of Getting Free Samples And Cheatibg The Time Limit. Like man u literally work for the government are u sure u should be sayin this? XD and i didnt actually say it was lets plays but i said i wanted to practise recording my voice to show my friends in other countries and help get less anxious. And then he started talking about podcasts so man for all i know maybe he watches lets plays too! He's gonba reccommend me some educational podcasts about science abd mental health and stuff :D

So yeah it all went way better than expected and i even got an odd chance to get to know my therapist on a more personal level and get some nice help with my hobbies! Also he's the only other person i've ever met who uses Paint Shop Pro 7! A friggin 1999 art software that i still keep cos im too dumb to learn a new one aaaaa. He validated me by agreeing that its very conveinient and comparatively newbie friendly, yes! But its having incompatibility issues since windows 10 came out so aaa i know eventualky i need to learn a new thing lol

Man my sypport worker is so damn awesome and its so rare i acconplish a good thing and have a good day and dont lose to my anxiety! I jus lt wish i wasnt still experiencing the horrible side effects of that anxiety lol. Typing this up helped distract me for long enough for my vision to clear up a bit but now my headache is extreme! I hate that pills take like an hour to kick in.

Man maybe i should order a takeaway pizza or somethin?? To celebrate not fuckin up at a chance to improve my mental health! And also cos its hard to cook things when you have no functioning eyeballs!