#aND LET THEM BE CRINGE FAIL PIRATES!!

[dr-meowmers]

Have i ever mentioned how much i want them to make a pirate themed crash zoom episode.

Because i want it so so much.

[billys-slutcherson]

'Nightshift Degeneracy P.T 2' 18+ MDNI

Mike Schmidt x F!Reader

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Chapter 2/2:

After his near miss of being caught up to no good on the nightshift, Mike thinks he might be in the clear. However, you relish in letting him know you caught him. Desperate to fulfil his urges completely.

Tags:

Handjobs, Semi-Public Sex, Orgasm Edging, Edging, Begging, Submissive/Soft-Dom, Exhibitionism, Shyness/Nervousness, Riding, Wet Kisses, Wet & Messy, Non-Plot Heavy, Smut

────────────────── ･ ｡ﾟ☆: *.☽ .* :☆ﾟ.───────────────

Mike hunched over, gripping his knees as he sighed with relief. Thinking he was in the clear, albeit the utter humiliation wracked his senses. Standing more upright one hand moved to his waist, whilst the other pressed over his forehead.

"So close, such an idiot, Mike." He berated himself. Cringing as his eyes darted back to the sloppy mess on the table. Hoping you perhaps didn't notice. How naïve. He rushed to the desk, pulling the drawers open.

Looking for something to clean it, and hide any evidence of his late-night depravity.

With no luck he turned on his heel, so focused as he wandered to the locker. Yanking the door open. He physically flinched, raising his hand to his face as he yelped. "Fucking Christ..." He sighed, knocking over the silly little balloon boy figurine. Annoyed at how it caught him off guard.

After the initial frustration, he chuckled at the scare. Crouching as he snatched the tissues from his backpack, making his way back to the desk.

Mike leaned against the edge of it, rolling up the security jacket, as the cuffs of his sleeves clenched against his forearms. Cheeks pink as he tried to clean the splatters of his excitement, trying to hide what a pathetic loser he was, at least that was how he felt anyway.

Quickly, moving to wipe the keys. The main monitor switched accidentally. As his eyes swerved to catch you on-screen. Walking into the party room. Lips parted as he stared. Like a puppy, his eyes wide.

Wetting his lips slightly. Crouching in front of the desk. Compelled by you.

"So pretty..." He almost whined. Blinking slowly.

--

Your footsteps pressed into the old shag carpet, splayed with bright patterns. The colours of the old building are dulled by decay. A smell that lingered in the air. Sweet yet putrid. Flashlight in hand, raised beside your head as you survey the pizzeria.

Checking your watch, it was just hitting 02:00 am. It always had an eerie unnerved feeling this late into the shift. Yet, your thoughts existed elsewhere. Remembering how you almost caught him in the act. How his cheeks burned red, the way he pulled away from the simple little touch of your hand. Weirdly though, you felt his shame was cute. Somehow, endearing. Recalling catching his stare during your recent shifts. The way he seemed to stutter more when you watched him speak. It wasn't like you hadn't been toying with him, quipping back with little flirtful comments. But, he was oblivious. Clumsy with you.

Approaching the main stage, your fingers traced the edge of the curtains, curling the tips over the fabric as you tugged it open, only a little. Swallowing firmly as you looked up at 'them'.

The animatronics, weren't how they seemed when you were young. The years were unkind. Your eyes drifted between the three on the 'Show Stage'. Dishevelled, decrepit, and god the fucking smell of them. It gave you the heave. They loomed ominously, the height of them alone was enough to creep you out. Every night without fail, the song seemed stuck in your mind. As you softly hummed 'talking in your sleep'.

'You tell me that you want me,

You tell me that you need me'

The lyrics softly left your lips as you sang, staring up at the monster-like animatronics.

Suddenly startled, you heard the ruffle of the curtains at 'Pirate Cove'. You about jumped into the air as you turned to check it. Trembling as your flashlight wobbled in hand.

--

In the office, Mike's brow furrowed, the security cameras were too shitty to have audio. Nevertheless, he watched as your startled body jerked back against the stage. You seemed, anxious to him. He watched only for a moment till he noticed the shaking of your hands. Tilting his head to the side as he snatched his flashlight from the drawer. Wheels squeaked against the checkered vinyl floor as he moved to his feet. Wandering

the hallway towards the 'Party Room'. The silence always made his stomach feel like a rock. Like he was filtering towards a liminal void. He didn't care for the animatronics, and was certain somehow, they likely felt similarly to him.

--

Looming in the entranceway. One of the bulbs on the arch flickered.

You heard the scuff of his sneakers and gasped. Dropping the flashlight. Grabbing at your chest with fright. Glaring at him.

"What the hell are you doing creeping in the shadows!" You scolded. Bending to grab your light once more. Flashing it towards his face, your eyes still startled.

"I-I saw you on the cameras... Something seemed, wrong. I just-... I wanted to check you were okay..." He falters.

Shy as he admitted to essentially spying on you.

Sighing as you lowered the light from his scrunched face. Embarrassed that the place seemed to get to you more tonight than usual.

"I- it's fine, sorry for shouting. I just-... Foxy's curtain moved." You raised your arm pointing. Stepping closer to his platform. Mike hesitated, watching carefully, before stepping closer. His presence eased you.

Peeking through the crack in the curtain. As your light filtered through. Reflecting over the old rusting metal.

"They used to be, magical... now they are just...creepy." You remark.

He raised an eyebrow, noting you knew the place before, well, before the 'rumours'.

You pulled the curtain back closed, dragging your hands over it. Tension easing some as you turned scoffing.

"At least they haven't run off, just being quirky is all." You smirked.

"Not yet anyway." He retorted with a grin. Smiling suited him, you liked to see that morose little face light up.

Playfully narrowing your eyes at Mike. You sauntered over to the 'prize desk'. Humming that familiar tune. It was adorned with old toys, strips of tickets slung over the desk. You hopped up and slid your rear over the countertop. He followed, eyes tracing over your hips as you scooted over the other side. The corners of his lips tugged upwards. Watching you closely, as you flash him a smile. Tossing your hands up in the air. Practically shouting.

"Step up, step up...Pick your prize, Mikey boy!" You teased with a sneaky wink. Bending against the counter cockily. The smile grew on your face, as you caught his eyes trailing down your body as you pressed over the desk.

He stifled a little, as he scratched the back of his head. Approaching.

"Well..." Hesitating as he speaks

You rest your chin in your palms.

"I already know the best prize.." You hummed in a sing-song tone.

"What are you doing..?" He laughed with an almost look of nervousness, though his smile never left. Not for a moment. Resting his palms on the edge of the counter.

Careful, trying to bite your tongue. But you couldn't help but remark.

"What were you doing?" He watched as you snickered while saying it.

Stuck in time, it felt like the words were choking him as his breath hitched.

"What do you mean?.." Responding so quickly he tripped over his words, trying to play dumb. You could see the pink wash over his freckled cheeks.

'Gotcha!' You thought to yourself. Tilting your head to the side. Batting your eyes at him.

Repeating slowly, mockingly even and you relished in his cute flustered little face.

"I asked, what were you doing? Earlier, when I came in. You seemed... on edge?" You couldn't hide your delight at his discomfort.

He scoffed a little. Leaning on the counter just across from you his fingers pushing his curls back slightly.

"I-I just got a fright from the door... that's all" He lied, it was painful how bad he was at it.

"No, I don't think that was it. Lie better." You grilled him playfully.

"I- I am not lying." He continued to fib. "W-what do you think I was doing?" He deflected.

"Oh, I don't know... But you better have cleaned your little mess." Pushing him further. Revealing you did in fact notice.

He was caught, stammering and ashamed. Why did he feel the need to keep denying it? He felt a twinge in his jeans. He couldn't help but think you 'enjoyed' the fact you'd caught him. Did you know he was thinking about you? His heart thudded in his chest.

"I don't know what you're talking about." His tongue poked against his inner cheek. Fiddling shyly with his hands, staring at the counter. 'Don't look at her, do not'. He thought to himself. She knows.

The distance slowly closed between you both as you leaned that little more towards him.

"You are cute when you are embarrassed, aren't you?" Stroking his nervous palms with your fingertips, feeling him freeze. His hands practically vibrated under your touch.

"What were you thinking about, while you...?" Enjoying how he squirmed, craving to hear him admit it. Your mind wondered how he sounded. Did he call out for you? You hoped so. Knew so.   

You were used to this cold, moody, quiet spirit. Though now, he was suddenly defenceless. Showing how powerless he was around you. Uncovering how much of a little pervert he embodied. Pathetic. Cute, but pathetic.

He stayed quiet. For what felt like an eternity to him. His lip trembled a little, as he felt himself unravelling. Sighing, as he thumbed over your palm. The simple touches riled him.

Leaning till you were inches from his face.

"... Was it me? Is that why you panicked?..." You asked in a sly, little whisper.

You caught how he blinked in defeat. Tilting his head down.

"I... I really didn't know you were in tonight..." Cut off as he lifted his head.

Indulging in the heat of the moment you pressed your lips to his, hand cupping his cheek. This is all you wanted, right now. Tasting his lips on yours. He hesitated as his body stiffened. Shoulders pulled up. You drew your lips back from his. Uncertain if he wanted this. Though, he followed you, clutching at your hand.

"N-no please.." He whispered. Leaning towards you as his fingertips found your hair. Touching so gently. Lips brushing yours. Hesitating.

You didn't overstep, letting him follow at his pace as you couldn't refrain from smiling. Sweetly, he stuttered an apology.

"I just-... it was you... I-I'm sorry.." He stammered guiltily. You could have melted there at how desperately needy he was being. Brushing your fingers over his warmed cheeks.

Moving both hands to his face, his cheeks squishing in your palms. He nudged his forehead against yours, desperate to find your lips again.

You mumbled teasingly against his lips.

"I already knew... I am not stupid... but, God, you made such a mess... So messy, Mike." Purring against his lips as he kissed further. Trying to bury his shame. Having yearned for you, for such a long time.

The kisses between you both, are filled with precious passion. You lean over the counter on your tippy toes. Trying to close the distance of the counter between your bodies.

Mike felt lightheaded, gripping your wrists as you held his face in your hands.

Palming them back down on the counter, dragging his nails along it. You broke the kiss, your hands shifting to grip the scruff of his jacket.

"Come here." You urged, giggling in a way he hungered to hear. Longing to be the reason for your laughter. Quickly, he sprung into motion, climbing over the countertop clumsily. Not at all like you had. Tumbling off of it he stumbled into you. Trembling hands grazed at your waist, as he nudged his lips back to to yours. Mesmerised by you.

Your giggles washed over his lips, making him wait a moment. Pushing at his chest. As his body pleaded with you.

Your tongue slipping into his mouth aroused him to no end, as you felt his hard-on press into your leg.

Catching one another's stare. You pulled back from the kiss.

"Clearly, you needed my help the first time..." You quipped as he scoffed looking away. You dragged his stare back to you, as you gripped his jaw. Catching a silly smile on his lips.

His hands were still wrapped against your waist. Stroking his fingertips against the small of your back, teasing your spine.

Reaching between you both, you unbuttoned your shirt. His eyes drifted from yours. Watching him glimpse downwards. You allowed it. This time.

He kept playing with your hair. Totally fawning over you.

Soon your shirt is off and falling to the floor. His fingers dance against the straps of your bra. Images of tearing it between his teeth filtered back to him.

"Tell me what you pictured... in the office?" You teased. Slowly reaching to unbutton his jeans, slipping your hand inside. Massaging lightly. Knowing he is likely still sensitive.

The breaths escaped him as you touched him, finally. Even if clothed, he was still overcome. He pressed his eyes shut, savouring the moment. Slow down, please, please. His poor mind raced, so fragile against you.

"Uh...I hm.." He breathed out heavily. Eyes flickering back. Panting.

"I th-thought of you on your knees.." He grunted a little as your fingers laced around his shaft. Stroking his already hard cock.

Hunching against you, he gripped your shoulders. Squeaking out sharp little whimpers.

"Only my mouth?" You toyed with him, your lips touching his, though not kissing.

"No.." He swallowed.

"Then on top, and you...didn't stop till...s-shit" His words trailed off. You smiled deviously but knew he couldn't possibly cope for long. Nudging him back to the counter, smooching him softly. Fumbling as you pushed your trousers down. Kicking your boots with them. Pulling him to the floor with you. His back was pushed into the counter, as you kneeled between his legs, pulling his jeans back down to his knees.

Mike was so flustered, his shame still threatened him as he watched you slowly stroke. Bending.

"N-no, please, I... I won't last..." He fumbled. Reaching to guide you over him. Clutching at your hips, you didn't stop him. All he could bear was to feel you. To be inside of you.

"I love it when you are all flustered..." You smiled over him as you straddled his waist. His lips curled as you caught his small smile.

Tracing his fingers against your underwear. He shyly played with the waistband. Raising your hips, you helped him pull them down your thighs. Kicking them off your ankle, as you adjusted your body. Pressing your hips down to feel his length glide against you. Fingers stroked over his cheeks as he pressed his head back into the wood.

Eyes never moving from yours as you whisper.

"So adorable..." You breathed against his lips.

"You...make me so pathetic." He whines out, bucking his hips up against yours. Visibly desperate to feel you wrapped around his dick.

"I like seeing you be such a horny loser..." You smirk. The hot and breathless laugh that escaped his lips only served to make you need him more.

You felt his fingertips dig against your waist. Sinking your hips downward, stretching around him, his girth much more than expected. Your breath rushed against his neck, letting out a moan that surprised you both, feeling him twitch within. Wrapping your arms against his shoulders to steady yourself. The pair of you losing composure, in the moment, wanting nothing but to feel one another.

Mike's hips jerked upwards, his cry of relief so sweet, as his nails dragged over your spine. Showering his lips with kisses, as you inhaled his breaths. His mind whirled with lust. Watching you, caressing and softly crying out.

"Fuck..fuck, you are so fucking hot..." The words rushed from him disjointedly. His lips hung open, as he grew closer. His climax built within, threatening. Cursing at himself. You could feel as he throbbed, he was fucking you so clumsily. The jut of his hips quick, like a piston slamming up into your cunt.

"Is this what you jerked for, huh? This is what you needed, I know... you need this." You taunted. It felt so good watching him under you grovelling for more.

Nodding as he tightened his lips closing his gawping mouth. He could only nod. Straining his back as he bucked you up and down his length. You kissed his lips, working little kisses down his jaw, till you reached his ear. Sucking on the lobe, tugging only gently.

"You are so close, huh..." You teased, hips bouncing now. As you felt his whimpers against your neck. "That's it, Mike...Cum for me... P-please" You faltered, he could hear that whimper. How you needed this, just as much. It ruined him.  

He felt so intensely embarrassed at how quickly he was losing all control. Your encouragement unravelled him. Cracking at the edges of his quiet exterior, he was quickly coming undone. Unable to admit, nor warn, as his orgasm rushed through. His cock spasmed inside you and released a thick stream of his cum. So much so, that his white sticky finish seeped from you.

Your hips still riding, as he burst through that orgasm, crying out sharply. As you didn't slow, he gripped at your back, stroking harshly. Marking your skin, feeling your hips halt. As his tender cock ached. Mike's eyes rolled back, as he felt you slam down, a wet rush flowed over his skin as he heard you wail against his neck. Another weaker rope splurged from his tip as he twitched under you.

Taking a breather you held yourself against him. Feeling his palms cradle you a moment before lifting off of him. With a moan, till the cold air washed over his shaft. Resting your hips back against his. The twitching against you made you shiver, your weight pinning him down.

He finally opened his eyes. A goofy smile on his lips, as you stroked his cheek with the back of your hand.

"That was... fucking.." He rasped, trailing off as he struggled to find the words. Quickly leaning to kiss your neck softly. Drool on his mouth, before resting back against the counter, looking up at you.

"I know... " Breathily scoffing, as you playfully patted his cheek.

PART 2, A PART 2!

I had fun writing this! It is totally smut, if you ignore the sexual tension? LMAO.

If you made it to this point, see you in hell (●'◡'●)

In no way did I intend for it to be 3,041 words, oopsie.

[writingoddess1125]

Poppy Kisses

Buggy x GNReader

⚠️ Warnings ⚠️: Attempted murder, Manipulation, implied sexual tension, implied future Dubcon

Art by Vamos_MK on Twitter. Check them out!

Please support me Ko-Fi

In and out- That was the job. You'd been asked to murder a certain pirate by a client of yours, He was known as a buffoon and a fool- quite literally it seemed. Buggy the Clown, Captian of The Buggy Pirates. Always failing at his task but getting closer to his goals non the less, apparently he had ruffled some feathers non the less.

Which was why you were hired, asked to join his crew and kill him. Being a skilled shooter made it easy for you to join his crew, however killing him was a different story-

In truth was harder then it seemed to nail this guy- You couldn't stab him for obvious reasons, he was too cautious to go near water and you couldn't risk shooting him since it was loud and you'd risk death by his surprisingly loyal crew.

So you had to get close.. which was just as hard as finding a way to Kill Buggy. He didn't trust easy- He was quite plainly pathetic as a pirate but clever in ways you'd never imagined.

It was awful to say but you hard started to like.. hell even love the goofy bastard? He was fun in a scary way and with him trusting you, you got to see this new side to him.

He watched everyone, including you with hawk like accuracy. Anything even slightly off he could catch and any attitude changes he would immediately notice and question- Who knew this clown would be your biggest challenge.

It took nearly a month before he got comforble around you, playing the act of a wannabe fan of his and an additional two months before he had seemingly started to like you- Clearly his ego finally winning out at your fawning of him.

Soon he was letting you sit in his lap, him telling you stories of his adventures and his past as a pkrate. How he would take your input on his shows and what was needed from your perspective, letting his hand drift to your waist as he would whisper jokes in your ear and drawing true laughs from you.

Sure it started out as a mission but- soon it turned into real enjoyment from your end. So a mission that should have taken 3-4 months tops was pushing on 6... but who could blame you! It was just too damn fun there with Buggy!

Sitting in your room you stared down at the tin canister in your hands, it was a potent poison jell. You rubbed it on anything and it'd dry clear which would work since you noticed Buggy used the same glass cup, claiming it was good luck or something... it was a perfect device to poison Buggy but now- you didn't know if you could.. he had been so kind to you, Even getting you a private room which most crewmates didn't have. Even if it was a bit small and as Buggy had said formally used as a makeup room which explained the large mirrors on the wall. You still knew he had given you space cause he cared..

"Fuck.."

You sighed as the small snail rang in your pocket, pulling it out you cringed knowing who it was and you sadly answered. Wincing at the angered voice of your client rushed into your ears yelling at you for taking so long-

"What am I paying you for?" Your client hissed. "I-I know we had some hic-" You got cut off by the raised voice.

"Hiccup!? He's a fucking idiot! Tonight is the last night or else I'm putting a hit on you" they yelled before disconnecting the call.

"tonight..." You mumbled. Rubbing your face as you stashed the snail away, stress bubbling in your chest as you sat there.

This was your job...

Slipping the casaster in your pocket you get up to Visit Buggy's room, Something you often did anyway so you didn't bother knocking.

"Hey Bugs?" You call out, seeing the Captian seated at his vanity finishing his makeup.

"Hell Doll! What brings you in?" He says cheerfully, you shrug and plop down on a chair.

"I wanted to stop by and say Hi before we head to dinner" You lie, but the smile it brought to Buggys lips made your heart flutter. Soon you two began to mindlessly chatter as Buggy finished his makeup, you handing him his hat once finished.

"Shit. I forgot my bandana in the map room. I'm going to grab it real quick, I'll be back" He said with a bright smile before leaving. Your eyes traveling to the glass cup- you knew this was your only chance..

You didn't want to do this, You couldnt do this... Paid killer or not when do you find someone like him? Just some fun clown guy who's weird humor actually makes you laugh!?

Walking to the vanity you sat down, still warm from him and slipped on some gloves. Picking up the glass cup and groaning in frustration at the situation.

Forcing your eyes closed you look at yourself in the mirror, feeling like he could see you or you were seeing yourself for the first time.

Sighing you feel a tears start to slip down your cheeks as you place the coated cup down and took off your gloves. Hiding it away as you looked at yourself again, regret on your face-

"...it's your job- love aside" You reasoned before getting the canister and quickly coating a thin layer of the gel inside. Watching how it dried almost instantly and looking undetectable like it had been only polished.

"Please forgive me... I really do care for you Buggy..." You whisper a prayer before backing away at your placed trap, trying to wipe the tears from your eyes and maks if look like you hadnt been crying.

After a few moments Buggy returned to the room with a cheerful smile on his face.

You couldn't do this, as you watch him pour the wine and get ready to bring it to his lips you got up ready to reach for it when he paused- Looking up at your raised form as you prepared to take the cup from him.

"Ready for dinner?" He chimed, you nodding as you watch him grab the glass from its usual spot. Nodding silently as you followed him to the mess hall, You heart pounding as you sat in your usual seat. Food laid out buffet style over the large table as Buggy took center seat like a king- Your head spinning as you stared at the glass. Watching him make his plate before reaching for the pitcher of wine..

"Change of heart?" He said, making you freeze in your raised spot.

He clicked his tongue as he lowered the glass from his lips, His eyes staring right at you with a knowing smirk on his lips. A chill going down your spine- he had never given you a look like that before.. it was like looking at the waters before a beast rose and took your life. He wiped his lips with a napkin just incase any traces of poison had hit his lips.

"I really expected better from you (Y/N)- even after all this time you would have let the berry win huh? But your feelings really did win in the end" He mused and you felt ice flood your vains.. he knew.. he fucking knew!

Looking around you see the crew all staring at you, a knowing look on their faces as they stared at you and their captian.

"I thought your words of 'I really care for you' and 'Love aside' was just part of the act but look at that!" He rose to his feet as you sat back down slowly, fear now lacing your heart as the realization slammed into your chest.

"One way Mirror, Works wonders both in the bedroom and in shows" He chimed. He was watching you- The whole damn time! He was watching you, from the calls to your client to your hesitation to complete the job. He knew.

Fear slammed hard into you and it felt like you were suffocating as he went to circle you like prey, his footsteps seeming so loud in the mess hall now.

Your feet moved faster then your brain- you ran out of the mess hall as the sound of laughter from the crew followed you. You had to get out of here you had to before he killed you!

"Now then, (Y/N) tell me- when do assassins cry for their targets?"

In a flash you jumped back from your seat like it was on fire and ran.

A yelp escaping your throat as you felt your collar being yanked back and lifted into the air. You struggled like a kitten being pulled up by the scruff from its mother and glanced up to see Buggy's floating hand holding you. Reaching next to you ready to stab his hand another gloved hand appeared right infront of your eyes and squeezed a red ball, coughing as the fight started to leave your body and soon you fell unconscious.

When the darkness faded you felt dizzy- like the world was spinning? Groaning softly at the feeling, before the realization that fabric had been placed in your mouth. This seemed to immediately sober you up as you looked around frantically- you were back in Buggy's bed, wrists tied to the bedpost and gagged, legs tied down with blue sill scarves and all your equipment laid out on the floor next to the bed. Buggy standing over it all examining it, he looked up hearing you move.

"Ah you're awake. Good I was beginning to worry that I made that Muggy Ball too strong"

You shook as you sat on the bed you once would have loved to be in, Watching Buggy as he Lossened his hair from the bandana. His blue locks falling down and framing his face as he stepped closer to the bed.

He said calmly as he rose up, watching you struggle and try to yell through the gag. He chuckled at this and patted your leg playfully.

"I wouldn't struggle. I don't think you can handle being knocked out again"

He said in amusement, removing his shirt and vest with ease revealing his naked chest- Due to years of training and his devil fruit abilties leaving him lean and flawless of marks. Just like how you had imagined.

"Got to say, I'm really impresses. With all the equipment in that little kill kit of yours I'm sure you could have done the job easily- But a painless poison that would let me sleep and die peacefully?.. it's almost too kind... whats it called? Poppy Kisses right?"

Warmth flooded your face and body as you watch him crawl closer to you- Seating himself right on your waist as he smiled down at you brightly, tapping a finger to your chest with a gleam in his eyes. He looked beautiful, terrifying but beautiful.

"Must have been hard, I saw your face.. you looked so hurt using that posion"

"So complicated.. So much trouble you are- So expensive too. Do you know how much I had to pay to your guild in order to make them say you died trying to murder me?"

He smirked as he began undo the buttons of your shirt. Your eyes widening in shock as he spoke and began to undress you.

"You're so lucky I like you~"

He purred, before placing a slow kiss on your cheeks. You felt the red grease paint smear and stain against it, accidently letting a moan slip the gag as his fingers pulled your hair, which he clearly reveled in. Leaving your wanting his lips as he traveled to your jaw, ear and further down.

His fingers working deeper into your hair as he removed the shirt from your body fully- the cold making you shiver at his warmed touch as red kisses blot your neck.

"Now my daring little assassin, I do believe some compensation is in order for all those expenses. Don't you?~"

[serialadoptersbracket]

Round 2, Match 48: “Red-Haired” Shanks vs. Kurogane and Fai D’Flourite

Submitted kids:

Shanks: Monkey D. Luffy and Uta

Kurogane and Fai D’Flourite: Sakura, Syaoran, Tomoyo, Chun'yan, a bunch of one off characters, Sakura and Syaoran a second time (it makes sense in context)

Propaganda under the cut!

Shanks:

1. “hes oooooooooooh hes so hot and sexy and silly and hot and cool and hot and hot and god i want him so bad”

2. “He found Uta in a treasure chest during a pirate raid and was like “shit, guess I’m a dad now,” and raised her until she was like 12. Luffy sort of just imprinted on him and he did nothing to discourage him.”

Kurogane and Fai D’Flourite:

“These fuckers can't help themself they're just 2 married husbands that adopt every child they see. kurogane starts out a power hungry ninja who gets sent away for killing too much and he drops that shit so quick the moment there is a child. He just starts watching out for the two kids in their group and being homoerotic with Fai. meanwhile Fai joins the group with a very specific agenda that's been like, his entire reason to live for centuries and he ends up deciding to give up on that to save his kids. he literally lets his eye get ripped out in an attempt to get syaoran back. like 90% of their conversations and bonding is about the kids and their wellbeing and both of them calling out the other for being cringe fail and accidentally adopting them while frantically denying they've done the same (then turning around and putting their coat around Sakura or Syaoran because they are getting cold). theyre just slow burn found familynur honour”

[unkandily]

Jay nightmare won. I suck at drabbles but this'll be good practice for @msabs (GO CHECK IT OUT)

This turned out to be really fucking long but my ao3 is broken so I can only post it here :/ (I would've made it longer I would've made it longer I wou)

(This takes place after episode 101 in my head)

Jay woke up gasping. Terror weighed down on her chest like an anchor, bringing hot, unwanted tears to her eyes. The logical side of her brain, the one that was usually louder, reasoned that it was a nightmare. The emotional side told her that it was the end of the world. Her first move was to clamp her hand over her mouth, muffling the sound of her panicked breathing. Her second was to suck in a breath, bit by bit, and then release it. She repeated this action until the grip on her lungs loosened and the tears stopped spilling. The pirate checked around, making sure neither of her co-captains had been awakened by her noise. She knew it was improbable, with them being out at sea and all, but she still worried for their rest. Not like she would get any herself, anyway. She swung out of bed, cringing when Chip moved in his sleep, being sure to move quieter. She had made it to the door, starting to open it-

"Jay?"

Fuck. She turned around to face Gillion.

"Yeah?"

"Where are you going? It is not your turn for watch, as far as I am aware."

"I don't feel the best, going up for some fresh air." Now that technically wasn't a lie, and she didn't want to worry Gill.

"Are you sick?" The tone of his voice suggests that her mission might have failed.

"No, not at all! I just had a nightmare." She rushed to explain, though this apparently was not any better news to her friend. "I'm fine."

"Jay, a nightmare is not fine. You're strong, but you don't have to act so responsible all the time."

"No, really, it's fine. I-" She cuts herself off, knowing bringing up the fact this is a frequent thing will only worry him more.

"You what, Jay?" Pipes in Chip's voice from the corner of the room. When did that bastard wake up? "Have them all the time? You've mentioned it a few times in passing, but I didn't know it was bad enough to keep you awake."

"I can handle them. You guys are worried over nothing." Jay reached for the door handle, pausing when Gillion spoke again.

"You can, but you don't have to. We're right here."

She sighed, turning around to face the pair. The words reminded her of her first nightmare, when Ava comforted her back to sleep.

"It was about Ava, wasn't it?" Chip asked, no teasing to his tone.

She nodded, looking down and trying desperately not to let tears spill over, before feeling a pair of arms wrap around her.

"Thanks, Gill." She sighed, returning the hug.

It wasn't that long before Chip dragged himself out of bed and joined the affection, ruffling her already tangled hair. She was too tired to retaliate. Jay doesn't remember what happened after that, but she woke up the next morning between the other two, no nightmares to be had.

[sunnasweet]

Anna and The Auction 2

Anna is stolen by space pirates and put up for auction.

Warnings: noncon, voyeurism, sybian, no sex

F!human

Part 1 , Part 3

“Good job little toy.” He murmurs, “Now you are prepared for auction.”

I dangle from my padded cuffs, completely exhausted from what was possibly the best orgasm of my life given to me by a human-trafficking lizard alien.

He unhooks my cuffs from the frame and latches them together, taking me into his arms. He cradles me and my head lolls back. I can do little more than keep my eyes open. I raise my wrists and inspect the cuffs, around my wrists are padding to protect my flesh but the rest of the binding is made of metal.

I’m not getting out of these.

The alien sets me down on a set and I fail to choke back a whimper, he kneels before me and takes the cuffs off my ankles.

“Stay here,” he says, patting my calf. “And…” he pulls–my eyes widen–a ball gag, out of his pocket. “Quiet.” I struggle against him and he roughly opens my mouth and shoves the gag in, then ties it around the back of my head. I grunt in dismay.

I lift my hands and give him the middle finger.

He laughs while walking away and I hear the door lock.

~

I stand naked and oiled up from my earlier “preparation” if you can call it that, in line.

I’m at the back, the last to go on for sale and I feel a lot like a show pony. If walking through the bazaar of Neo Nebula while everyone was eye-fucking me wasn’t enough, now I’m about to be paraded on stage. 

At least, that’s what I thought was happening. But when I get there, two hands hold me down by the shoulders and force me to sit on a saddle-shaped device. 

They chain my cuffs to a bar on the back so I’m forced to arch my body. My toes just barely touch the floor and my tits face the ceiling. Great. I glare at the crowd—filled with aliens of all different kinds.

“Alright, let’s start with the bidding shall we?” The alien who I presume is the auctioneer says. I scowl at the bidders as best I can with a ball gag in my mouth. Some of them eye me wearily while others are unbothered or even intrigued. I look back to the space pirates that captured me and see the greed in their eyes. The one who “prepared” me seems to think he’s going to get a lot of money for me.

Not if I have anything to say about it.

“1000!” calls the auctioneer and my face must go from a scowl to downright nasty because the two aliens in the front back up a pace.

There’s a long pause, maybe because I’m not quivering and cowering in fear like the other girls or sobbing my eyes out but the auctioneer looks perturbed and says.

“Come on now folks, she’s hale and fertile.” 

I cringe at the word fertile. The last thing I want is to be somebody’s breeding girl. The auctioneer turns a dial on the podium and I flinch as something buzzes for a second then stops. 

The fuck?

I shift uncomfortably on the mount but that just makes things worse with my oil-slicked pussy spread open on it. It feels like slippery rubber and that…feels good, unfortunately.

But I won’t be taken advantage of again.

I see a tentative hand go up, then two, then three.

“1200!” The buzzing happens again, this time for a second longer and I squeak, the vibration hits directly at my clit from my spread pussy lips. 

The auctioneer keeps calling higher numbers as more aliens bid and I watch horrified as he keeps turning a dial that seems to be controlling the vibrations on my mount. My pussy twitches and I shift uncomfortably.

“1500!” Bzt.

“1600!!” Bzt bzt.

“1700!!!” bzt bzt bzzzzt.

My belly quivers and my thighs shake. I continue to squirm and whine as the bids get higher and higher. I take a deep breath and stay still.

The vibrations draw out longer and longer until it’s a steady stream of low vibration and it’s hard not to respond the way one might when they’re tied to a vibrating machine. I ignore the instinct to rock my hips. It’s not too bad, it just tickles a bit. Now that the shock has worn off. 

I think it’s going to stop at this low tempo until someone calls out “3000!” and the auctioneer turns the dial two ticks, causing it to jump in speed. My eyes widen and I struggle, my tits jiggling.

Stop it, I want to yell but all that comes out is a strained moan.

I can’t escape this. No matter how I move, the vibration is always directed at my clit. My ass vibrates and I want to scream. 

I refuse to be humiliated again like this.

My eyes flick to my sellers and widen further when I see that all three of them are stroking their cocks. I whimper. What the fuck? These creeps. It’s now that I realize I’m probably not being sold to clean houses.

All three aliens stroke their dicks. Plural. As in, they each have two dicks. 

I look at my sellers with wide eyes, look at their long dual phalluses.

They all jerk off like a regular human man except using both hands and I look to the auctioneer as if he’s going to stop them but he just keeps calling numbers and spinning the dial when the bidding gets higher.

“5000!”

“Ahgn!” I jolt when the vibration intensifies, I’m starting to squirm now, rocking back and forth. I try to lift myself off the vibrating machine by my toes but because I’m chained onto it, it does no good.

“10,000!”

Bzzzzzzzt.

My head falls back as the vibration reaches an all-time high, I moan, against my will. I’m staring at my three sellers who continue to jerk off as they watch me.

Without meaning to I start to roll my hips and it feels so good I could cry. I don’t want to do it, but my mind and body aren’t in agreement. Hell, my mind isn’t even in agreement with my mind.

I—creator help me—think about the middle lizardman, the one who oiled me up, coming on stage and massaging my tits the way he did just a few hours ago. I think about riding his cocks, one in my ass and the other in my cunt and maybe the way I’m eye fucking him is obvious because he starts to thrusts his hips forward as he strokes his cock and I start to clench on nothing.

“30,000!”

No.

Don’t.

I can’t help it.

I hump the machine furiously, squeezing my eyes shut and pretending like I’m not on stage being watched by dozens of people hoping to buy me as their (most likely) sex slave. I don’t want that. I don’t want to be here. I want to go back home.

But this is the hand I’ve been dealt and creator it feels amazing.

I always thought of myself as strong but here on stage, I feel like I’m losing myself.

I writhe against the machine, tilting my pelvis downward so the vibration hits harder on my clit. I choke at the feeling of it. My abdomen seizes and there’s a heat building in my belly.

“50,000! Going once!”

It rises

“Going twice!”

And rises.

“Three times!”

I scream against the ball gag, thrashing against the vibrating saddle as my orgasm overtakes me, my pussy clenches tightly and I stay frozen for what feels like forever as I cum.

“Sold!”

If you'd like to support me! Patreon / Subscribestar / Ko-f

[rainypebble07]

HAPPY BIRTHDAY, ME!

Today, August 30th, is my birthday and (conveniently) also the day I posted my first fic, It Wasn't A Bad Thing (Do not read it, read the rewrite), on Ao3 and entered the Byler community as a writer and eventually artist.

It's strange to think that I've been here for 365 days now. I mean, that's a lot of days, but it's honestly been so fun to get to know some of the people here and I just love you guys. All of you. Seriously.

As a birthday gift, maybe read one of my fics and leave a fun comment (I have them all listed in my pinned past, but I recommend the superspy, pirate, and zombie Will ones)! If not that, give me a silly drawing request I'll take days to finally get around to or even just a fun little ask!!

And I love to talk about myself, but over the year, there have been some very impactful people I've met on this site, and I'd just like to thank all of them for being so wonderful (if you're not on the list, I still love you, I promise. I'd name every one of my followers if I could), so without further ado...

Rainy's Thank You List of Very Awesome People:

@foodiewithdahoodie you, my friend, are the best. One of my first ever followers, even before I was an artist. I've had your support since day 1 and I'm so grateful to call you my mutual!! You're seriously the kindest ever <333

@microwaveonwheels You're just the most fun person, my favorite kitchen appliance. You've got the best (and sometimes the most challenging) drawing requests and you never ever fail to make me laugh with your tags. Keep your energy forever and ever, my biology genius mutual :)))))

@sillylittlerock If I have one fan, it's you. If I have 100 fans, you're one of them. If I have no fans, you have left the building. SILLYLITTLEROCK you are THE ROCK and genuinely the sweetest person ever. Absolutely my favorite and I hope you have the most beautiful of days. Rock gang, rock gang.

@callmetheidiot I hope the ex fight was worth it, you've let me become a wattpad fiend (jkjk I haven't even touched wattpad in over a week). You are the kindest and most wonderful of people, callmetheidiot. And I would never ever call you an idiot bc you are the absolute definition of the opposite.

@th3-third-duffel-bag You're the coolest ever. And it makes me laugh when you leave angry comments on my Ao3. Much, much love <333

@cringengl I don't interact with you much, but every time you like one of my posts, I feel like you're saying it's cringe and it makes me laugh every time. Have the most amazing of days today! I love you!

@runninguplenorahills If I had to have my first pointless internet beef with anyone, I'm glad it was you. I'll admit, I was wrong about the barbie movie thing. I'm just stubborn. I think you're awesome though, even if we're worst enemies now. (jkjk we're not enemies... unless...) (no jk again) Have a wonderful day!!!!

@elsbianism You know what? I just think you're neat. Even before I started following you I was just like gee, they're pretty neat. And then I did follow you! And now we're mutuals! And you're still the neatest person here, El, so congrats on that one.

@miaisagirllover MIA I LOVE YOU! Thank you for helping me to break the barrier between dimensions. I look at your pinterest every day like ahhhh my stuff. And you've just got the best takes, I'm sorry so many people like Billy. I'll try to stop them. Have a lovely day, friend!!

@chaoticbyler Just had to give a quick shoutout to my pinterest spy on the inside. Never would have even known my art was breaking barriers without your help. Thanks, soldier. I owe you one.

@midget-is-a-simp I don't think I have one post you haven't liked. And I've had minimal interaction with you, but if my life was a TV show, you'd be the character who showed up once a season and you're somehow everyone's favorite character.

@yearninginblue you are my superspy buddy for life and I love you so so so much <3

@phaniella your comments make my day and I love you for it <3

@howtobecomeadragon IDK HOW I ALMOST FORGOT YOU OMG YOU'RE THE BEST. BEST FOR LAST, I GUESS. YOU, my friend, are the sweetest ever and I'm so happy to be your mutual. The fact that you like dragons so much is so cool. Never ever lose your passion! Dragons are awesome (and so are you)!!

Alright, sorry it's long, but I had a lot of people to be thankful for (and, trust me, so many more who I couldn't fit to the list). If you see this, just know I love you more than anything and I hope EVERYONE had the best day ever.

Bye-bye for now,

Rainy Pebble

[commander-krios]

warming their hands by slipping them up the other’s shirt and onto their back/stomach for Despina and Theron because she would

Fic complete with art from @valkblue

The rain had been a full downpour twenty minutes ago, but it was now it’d finally slowed to a drizzle. Despina Sloane felt like a complete idiot trekking through the jungle wearing only a bikini top and shorts, feet in nothing but sandals that were not meant for this terrain. Her feet sunk in the thick mud, each step more tortuous than the previous and her strength was failing. Soon, she would be as useless as the stick she broke beneath her foot.

The man beside her was having as much trouble as she was. His usual perfectly styled hair was plastered to his forehead, his hand shielding his face from the raindrops. 

“This is too much like basic than an actual vacation, Shan. I want a refund.”

She could barely hear his chuckle over the whipping of the wind. The freeness with which he laughed with her made her grin like an idiot. Despite her complaints, it didn’t matter where in the galaxy Theron led her, as long as they were together. She wouldn’t give any of it up, even if it meant they weren’t on a beach with cocktails in their hands.

She wasn’t being completely fair, Rishi was beautiful. But the entire spot was a jungle meeting a mountain meeting an ocean. If she wasn't stomping through a thick underbrush, she was splashing through shallow pools of water or scraping her knees on rocks.

“Are you complaining?” Theron glanced at her over his shoulder, a grin pulling at his lips. “You can’t be, especially since you’re always telling me that I’m the one who complains.”

Despina slanted her eyes in his direction. “It’s because you do.”

“I’ll be sure to let the travel agent know.” He lifted the tracking device he’d been holding the entire trek through the thick jungle, trying to find a signal in the storm. “We deserve a break after that war we fought.”

“A war where I didn’t have to get mud all over my new sandals.” She muttered, watching as he paused in his attempts at a signal to send her an unimpressed look.

“No, it was droid guts all over that shiny new armor Lana ordered for you.” Theron ran a hand through his hair before shaking the water off. “I’m still hearing about it.”

“First off, droids don’t have guts.” She reminded him, not bothering to go into the details when he should know all of this already. Instead, she changed tactics. “Second of all, I’m mad at you.”

“Oh, here we go.” 

Despina didn’t have to see his face to know he rolled his eyes.

“No, no. You’re the one to blame for all of this.”

“Oh am I?”

“Yes, because if it isn’t pirates or droids, it’s Sith and I’m so sick of Sith. And you got me involved with this Alliance crap. Using those pretty eyes and kisses to seduce me into serving the greater good." 

“So you weren’t already the leader of one of the most elite special forces squads in the Republic?” Theron laughed again, taking her hand, his warm skin a comfort she craved no matter how long they were together. “Come on, there is a clearing up ahead. Maybe we can get a signal.”

She bit back a sarcastic reply at the sight of more mud ahead of them. Great. Just great.

Theron lifted the scanner higher in the air, concentrating with a slight frown. While he was busy fussing, Despina lifted her poor feet and the mud squelched between her toes. The white sandals were completely ruined, there was no way she’d get the thick mud out. With a sigh, she set her foot down again, cringing as it sunk even deeper.

The clouds had parted slightly and a few rays of sun poked through, warming the air around them. At least she might make it back to their hotel without drenched clothing. She shivered slightly as another breeze hit them.

Rubbing the goosebumps away, she returned to Theron’s side, finding that he was still struggling with the stupid scanner.

“We’re lost, aren’t we?”

He glanced at her quickly before giving the device one more experimental tap. “No, we’re not.”

“You’re not a very good liar, Theron.” She grabbed the scanner and tossed it over her shoulder, watching as it landed in a particularly deep part of the mud. Theron groaned and covered his eyes with his hands. “Live a little.”

“How are we getting back before nightfall without that? There are all kinds of animals out here, Des. And the pirates? I’m sure the Nova Blades will be really happy if we stumble on one of their outposts.”

“Hey, you wanted to come here, remember?” She grabbed him by the hand, pulling him along with her. “Besides, if we don’t return to the hotel soon, I’m sure Arankau will send a search party.”

Theron sighed, meeting her gaze for a moment before he sagged in defeat. “Fine.”

“It’s our vacation, Theron. I want to enjoy it so please, no more tracking where we are. Or worrying about getting home. We’re two of the Republic's most seasoned operatives. If we can’t find our way out, we probably don’t deserve to.”

He shook his head, fighting a smile. She knew she had him when he reached out, lifting a soaked strand of hair from her forehead. “You look like a drowned womp rat.”

Despina shook her head, spraying water in all directions, most landing directly in his face. 

With a sigh, he wiped a hand down his face, shaking the excess water off his fingers. “Was that necessary?”

“Of course. Let’s say it’s payback for dragging me out here in the first place.” She tried to twist some water from her hair, but all it did was soak her more. The island was balmy, but in the shadow of one of the mountains, it was chilly and they had nothing on but soaked bathing suits.

“I have to say, you look adorable covered in all that mud.”

He was being sarcastic. Despina knew she must look wild and untamed, viridian eyes peering out from under wet hair, wearing nothing but her skimpy bikini top and pair of cut off shorts that hugged her body, mud covering her feet and legs; her lips curled into a feral grin, if only to complete the unhinged image.

His smile disappeared immediately. “Don’t look at me like that.”

“Why not? What are you afraid of, Theron?” Despina slid closer, her hand resting on his arm, an innocent smile turned up at him. “Certainly not me?”

“I’m always afraid of what you’re capable of. But even more so when you give me that look.” He raised an eyebrow at her. “What are you planning?”

“Nothing.” She assured him, wrapping her arms around his waist, pressing herself against him and tucking her chin against his chest. “Why do I always have to be planning something?”

For a man who was paranoid of being tricked by his wife, he didn’t even have a chance when she did strike. He was too busy watching her eyes, trying to deduce her thoughts by her expression, scrutinizing her smirk and she ran her hands over his back. 

There was no warning except for the sudden shift of her body. She didn’t have the upper body strength to brute force him to the ground, but she did have the advantage of surprise. Despina slipped her hands up his shirt, cold hands making him tense. Then she grabbed the hem of his shirt, pulling upward until it covered his head, arms stuck in the sleeves.

“What the-”

He shifted his feet, only to trip over the leg she extended out, landing hard in the thick mud behind him. It sprayed outwards around him, partially covering Despina, but it was worth it to hear the groan leave his mouth.

Theron managed to pry the shirt off, tossing it in the mud beside him. He glared up at Despina as she hovered over him, a hand on her hip. “Is it out of your system now?”

With a grin, she leaned down, scooping some of the mud into her hand. “Nope.”

Then she dumped it on his head.

The mud slid down the sides of his face, dripping onto his exposed chest, his cybernetics thankfully spared, but the rest of him wasn’t. He looked so pathetic that she couldn’t help the giggles that left her, a full on fit that hurt her stomach and had her bent over, gasping for breath.

He stared at her briefly before a hand shot out, grabbing her by the arm and dragging her in with him, nearly landing on his lap as she fell.

“I hope you’re satisfied with yourself.” He muttered, settling her against him. She wrapped her muddied arms around him, smiling as their gazes met. “We are going to be the laughing stock of Rishi.”

Despina pressed a kiss to his lips, lingering as she responded. “As if you weren’t already the laughing stock of this planet.”

“Ouch. Thanks.” He brushed a filthy hand through her hair, but a smile softened his face. “Fine. You can pick the vacation location next time.”

“That’s all I wanted.”

[lennjamin-o7]

the fic i was looking for was estranger things! danny calling himself his own grandfather was so funny. i have the great fortune of being both a danny phantom and a dsmp fan so i can enjoy all of your writing. that said i am on a strong dsmp kick atm so i have reread all of your dsmp works in the time since my last message :') your technoblade is just so good. he makes me laugh

Oh cool! I'm glad you liked that one! It's a very silly one lololol. Definitely one of my more lighthearted fics!

I'm so glad you like how I wrote Techno!!! My favorite Pigman!

And heck yeah to being both dsmp and Danny Phantom fan! It's a fun life! I've been desperately trying to pull together a Danny Phantom x DSMP crossover idea because I love both so much. I have SOME vibes for it in my head.

Here's what I've got so far, anyway

Yo, Technoblade he was just 14 when his parents made a very strange machine!

Unlike in Danny Phantom, Techno would be an only child. Which is exhausting. His parents care more about their research than they care about him. And as the kid of the weird scientists, he has NO FRIENDS at school. (That's right, its a No One Knows AU. So much angst potential). He's bullied, poor piggy.

His parents portal doesn't work, so for curiosity sake he goes inside and-oops! The portal to The Ghost Zone opens on top of him, half killing him and giving him ghost powers.

Cue Theme Song.

The fic would be THREE CHAPTERS! NO LONGER THAN THREE!

Anyway, first chapter would be dedicated to Technoblade fighting off the weird musician ghosty with fire powers, Wilbur Soot. Wilbur Soot is using his musical abilities to brainwash everyone into basically worshipping him. DP Technoblade would defeat him by pointing out how cringe it was that Wilbur Soot had to brainwash everyone to even listening to his music. Lame. The dude had 0 confidence in his own music. Wilbur Soot gets super peeved off about this, ready to blast Technoblade's eardrums when Technoblade offhandedly mentions he didn’t need to brainwash everyone anyways. Because his music is good. Wilbur Soot is stopped by that. Wilbur seems legitimately excited that someone enjoys his music without the brainwashing, and Technoblade rolls with it. Wilbur Soot promises to stop with the brainwashing if Technoblade promises to meet up and let him play music for him. Technoblade agrees, but says he can't do it too often because he has so much work keeping the ghosts in line.

Wilbur Soot tells him not to worry about it. He'll handle it.

Suddenly, a lot less ghosts come through the portal.

Chapter 2 sees a different ghost causing issues. At first, Technoblade doesn't see it as an issue. Why should he care that all the adults are listening to some trash discs? It doesn't effect him. And Wilbur Soot seems to get a kick out of absolutely rinsing the music disc at every opportunity, saying it sounded like the artist was "forced to write a song for a child".

Techno's parents wanting to go off on some cruise? Totally fine with him. Less dangerous with his parents not around. And Technoblade is desperate for a break. The ghosts have chilled out quite a bit, but it's hard to do school work AND worry about whether or not your family's water was going to get cut off. He never gets to be a kid.

Which is why he is so annoyed when a child ghost with a pirate ship attacks his house. The kid steals a bunch of Tech from his parents. The kid, calling himself Tommy Innit, is very annoying. Technoblade tries to stop him, but fails.

Something else would go here, but basically all the parents get kidnapped on Tommy Innit's pirate cruise for *reasons* and Techno goes to save them. Only to find a very bored Wilbur Soot dressed as a pirate, and a very exhuberant Tommy Innit speaking like a pirate. Technoblade asks what Wilbur is even doing there, and Wilbur Soot says that he has to humor his little brother sometimes.

Tommy Innit throws all the stops at Technoblade. Canons, guns, swordfighting, swashbuckling, etc. Tommy Innit is have the time of his life (or death). He keeps talking about how fun the whole thing is. Or complaining when Technoblade "cheats". Technoblade is about to lose, when he tells Tommy Innit he can't just shoot him. He needs to make Techno walk the plank. Tommy Innit eagerly agrees, and points him towards the plank. He asks Techno if he has any last words and Techno points out that Wilbur Soot should walk the plank as well. Wilbur Soot is just flabbergasted by that, But Techno points out that Wilbur didn't help at all when his Captain needed him. It was worth walking the plank. Tommy Innit agrees, and tries to get Wilbur to also walked the plank. Wilbur refuses. Techno points out that that means it's a mutiny. Tommy Innit is gleeful at the concept of a mutiny, pointing his sword at Wilbur Soot. Wilbur is not all that amused. Technoblade volunteers his services in bringing the "treacherous snake" down in exchange for not having to walk the plank. Tommy Innit agrees and Technoblade full tackles Wilbur Soot, much to Wilbur Soot's dismay and Tommy Innit's delight. They roll around on the deck for a bit, Techno promising he will make it up to Wilbur if he just plays along. Wilbur gives in and goes overdramatic with it.

Tommy Innit is over the moon. He is having so much fun. Wilbur, why didn't you tell him Techno was so much fun? Technoblade points out that there was no way that all the kidnapped adults were any fun. Tommy Innit hadn't even noticed that they evacuated.

Tommy Innit looks and is upset that all of his prisoners have disappeared. No one ever wants to play with him. Technoblade offers to play with him occasionally, if he would, you know, not kidnap people.

Tommy Innit asks if he can kidnap Techno sometimes, instead, because its funny. Techno agrees, but not more than once a month. He has responsibilities. He can't play all the time.

Tommy Innit Agrees, super happy with the idea.

Suddeny, Technoblade's home no longer has to worry about bills anymore. Huh. Maybe his parents finally started to act like parents. He doesn't really complain when Tommy Innit and Wilbur Soot start monopolizing more of his time.

Chapter 3 Listen, this chapter is going to be Reign Storm. But there is no Vlad character in this AU, so I don't know how to start it. Maybe Techno's parents go into the Ghost Zone and steal the ring of rage? Who knows. But the Ghost King is awake, finally free from the eternal sleep he was forced into. Thousands of ghost refugees pour out of the portal. Technoblade is incredibly concerned that he doesn't see Wilbur or Tommy.

Technoblade is doing his best keeping all of the ghosts from hurting people, plus playing keep away with the giant ghost crows that were trying to return the ring of rage back to the Ghost King. Techno is exhausted, everyone is terrified, his parents are trying to use inventions that might get them killed. He's havinf a bad day.

The ghost king pulls the entire town into the ghost zone.

Technoblade is shocked by the whole thing, terrified with no way to fix it.

And then the Ghost King shows up.

King Philza is intense. Burning crown on his head with regal robes flowing all around. Wings blacked than the night sky raised behind him.

He demands the ring back, or else.

Technoblade chooses the latter.

It's not a close fight at all. Technoblade is tired and the ghost king is POWERFUL, even without the ring. Technoblade is forced to change back into his human form, in front of everyone to see. His secret is out, he's injured, and he isn't able to move out of the crater in the ground the ghost king knocked him into.

The king takes back the Ring of Rage, putting it on his finger. He's even more powerful, which Technoblade thinks is cheating. The Ghost King raises a hand and intends to wipe Techno from existence-

Two figures block the hand. Both start shouting at the Ghost King, incredibly annoyed that their Dad would attack their friend. That Technoblade hasn't even had his first deathday and that Dadza was being a bully.

King Philza is incredibly confused. There is no way that Technoblade hasn't reached his first deathday. He's too powerful. But Wilbur Soot and Tommy Innit insist.

Technoblade is a young ghost and he's like a brother to them.

No actually-

He is their brother.

Technoblade tries valiantly to crawl out of the crater. He is hurt, and can't focus on all of the conversation. One minute he is staring at the remains of the football field-

The next he is staring into piercing blue eyes. He flinches back, but two fingers touch his temple. And then everything is black.

Technoblade wakes in a bed inside Philza's Keep, deep in the ghost zone. He cannot leave, phasing through things doesn't work. He is stuck.

Wilbur and Tommy seem over the moon. Their Dad is finally home and they can play with Techno whenever they want!

King Philza seems indulgent of his sons, but doesn't have a ton of time. It takes time to reprganize the entirety of the Infinite Realms under he control. It takes effort into crushing all resistance.

But he makes it known that his newest son WILL behave. He shows Techno a glass ball, inside containing the entirety of Techno's whole town. It would be so easy to shatter.

Technoblade submits, being hugged tightly by an excited Wilbur and Tommy.

So, yeah, I would love to get around to writing that. Especially fleshing out some of the shakier parts lol. But basically Wilbur is Ember, Tommy is Youngblood, and Phil is Pariah Dark. With a LOT of liberties thrown in!

[griefphemerate]

Ashiok Must Beat Vraska

Listen up folks. I know what it sounds like. I hear you. I love Vraska too! She’s a badass, independent, survivalist gorgon dedicated to her cringe-fail wife Jace. She’s great! She kills her abusers and rules the Ravnican underground. She’s a pirate! Vraska is great. 

But listen to me. LISTEN to me. Look at them. 

They’re style! They’re grace! They’re mysterious and badass and have done some really cool things! I mean, look at this: 

Ok so this here is Ashiok dealing with the God of Deception on Theros. Their introduction to the Magic was making a deal with a God to hide from others Gods so they can Create A New God. And was this Ashiok’s magnum opus? Their grand final act before succumbing to an unsavory end? 

No! Of course not!

Ashiok created a new God for fun, let it die, and left before anyone could touch them. While Elspeth was over here getting murked by jealous DudeBros, they were orchestrating an apotheosis. What could be cooler than that? 

Oh wait, let me show you:

Enter Elesh Norn. Mother of Machines, queen of New Phyrexia, current BBEG of the Entire Multiverse. 

Does her glistening perfection scare our dear Ashiok? Well...

No! Instead of being scared of capture and Compleation at the hands of the biomechanical horror machines, Ashiok marches right to the Elesh Norn and decides to absolutely ruin her day. 

A Garden of Flesh is an absolutely sexy story where everyone’s favorite Nightmare Weaver continuously dunks on the Grand Cenobite until she loses it and attacks them, only to be laughed at as they gently float away. If you haven’t read it yet, I’d absolutely recommend it: https://magic.wizards.com/en/news/magic-story/garden-flesh-2022-05-03 

I’m not going to continue to spoil this very good read, and will leave you with this:

They’ve made it this far. I know there are likeminded Ashiok Truthers out there, and we’re gonna have to band together if we want Ashiok anywhere close to beating Vraska. So lets take our sexy EB Nightmare Being to the finals!

And if all that still didn’t convince you, they have an official themesong produced by WotC: 

ASHIOKSWEEP 2023!!!!

[akwolfgrl]

How sweet it is to be loved by them 24

Nami had managed to slip inside Buggy the clown's treasure room, and she grinned giddy at the sight before her. Massive piles of treasure everywhere! She unfortunately could only bring so much with her, if only they accepted non omegas. Nami could pretend to join and steal more treasures over a longer period of time. The cat burglar began to shove as much as she could into her giant sack.

“Well I can't fit anymore, but that was a fantastic hall!” She stood hands on her hips, looking around the room proud of how much she fit. Behind her, the door opened, and a member of Buggys crew entered the room.

“Hry! You're not supposed to be here!” The omega was around her age and wore a ridiculous clown costume. “I have to tell the captain!”

“stop!” Nami used her alpha voice to stop the omega in his tracks. “You are going to let me walk out of here with any trouble,” Nami could see the omega struggling to ignore her voice and failing miserably. “Hmmm, tell me, is there any more treasure worth my time?”

“y yes, c cap tin, has a… map to ...the grandline,” The pirate clown struggled, as he attempted to stop speaking.

“Go get it for me,” This would be an excellent find.

Nami waited as the omega left. She didn't enjoy using her alpha voice. It hurt her toaght when she used it. She wasn't going to feel bad for the pirate. She hated pirates. They were nothing but trouble, spreading pain and misery everywhere they went. The buggy pirates were theriozing the town, using it as their own playground.

When the omega arrived with her map, Nami headed off. She needed to get to her boat (witch she, of course, stole) before the alpha command wore off.

As Nami headed towards the docks she heard shouting, she broke into a run. The bag was heavy draped across her shoulder as her feet hit the pavement over and over as she ran.

“Hey stop! Thief!”

“Give us back the captain's map!”

She passed by a guy in a red vest and starwhat. She ducked behind him, his scent was strong, and screamed alpha. She didn't stop to sniff him, but she caught a whiff. The alpha smelled like sunshine and meat? Honestly, Nami was too busy to question it. She nudged him forward as the men caught up. Nami could use this to her advantage.

“Oh boss! I just knew you'd show up to save me!” Nami cried, clasping her hands together gleefully. She didn't care that she was leaving the alpha alone with three much taller omegas. He'd be fine, or he won't. It didn't really matter to her. “I'll let you take care of everything!”

Nami took off. There were too many damn people looking for her. She had to hide her treasures until it was safe to escape, maybe a huge distraction. She slid into an alley and stuffed her treasure somewhere safe and hidden only taking her prized possession, the map she folded up as small as she could and shoved it down her bra cringing at the scratchy feeling against her skin. She checked over to make sure there wasn't an obvious outline giving her away. Nami climbed up until she got to the roof and walked back to where she left the alpha in the starwhat. It wasn't hard to find him. She watched as he knocked out his opponents with esse. Hmmm, it couldn't hurt to have a temporary partner.

“Wow! You're really strong!” Nami praised from her seat on the roof. “You beat those guys with swords bare-handed, even if there omegas three against one is still impressive,”

The alpha turned to look up at her. “Huh? Who are you?” He asked, confusion written across his face.

Nami grinned and placed her thumb and pointer finger together. “I'm a thief who only steals treasure from pirates, “ She also tricked rich dudes out of their money. “My name is Nami. What to be praterners?”

[pirate-of-the-southern-isles]

Fanfic's snippet - How Hans became a pirate, part II

First part here!

Hans is telling the story of what the hell is he doing here to Anna and Elsa after three years of the events portrayed and from his own perspective, mind you.

Layla has agreed on his condition. In her own words – there is no such thing as too many men to work as deckhands. So as for the moment, they were running together towards his father’s study. Everywhere around them an utter chaos unveiled; dozens of pirates running down corridors, stealing without an ounce of shame everything that wasn’t bolted down. And if it was – some of them took crowbars. For a brief moment, Hans caught a glimpse of three of them, freakishly similar to each other, who were just peeling down the tapestry. Very, very rich tapestry. It was complicated, because there were quite a lot of screws and they seemed very wary of destroying the fabric.

But one of the most striking facts was - that almost every one of the luxurious, silver mirrors, which used to paved the walls of Westergaard’s castle, was now shattered. The result – floors were sown with a broken glass. And he was running barefoot.

“Where are our guards?!” he wondered, because, in fact, in this warzone that the fortress has become, he failed to notice even one of their soldiers. In the same time he was trying to avoid splinters, but a few of them were already up in his soles.

“Branding” Layla smiled as she jumped over some knocked pedestal. There was a very old and very expensive vase here, just a few hours ago. Now the pedestal was crashed and the vase was gone. When Lars sees it, he will probably burst into tears. In the end, he was the only one who actually cared about some old potsherds.

“What?!” the prince looked at her over his shoulder, running up the stairs.

“I am saying – there is a pirate fleet at your bay and it is destroying your supposedly well-protected castle. Pirates are loud, there is a commotion, they are probably dangerous and, well, probably completely insane to pull stunts like this – so why fight and risk your life?”.

“Oh, I don’t know, maybe, well…” he stopped suddenly and tried to play a comically theatrical wonder. “Maybe because we are paying them to do so?!”

“Aye, you are…”

A further discussion was cut short, because somewhere on the outside the heavy artillery was singing again. And it was singing so strong that the place, where Hans was supposed to be now – but he wasn’t, because he preferred to be dramatical – was now one big, gaping hole in the wall. A recoil came crashing down like a wave, pushing them both at least several steps down and covering everything in plaster.

Hans, with great difficulty, but managed to collect himself. He knew that half of his body is going to be a one, big, bad bruise. If it wasn’t for the black dust from a destroyed, supposedly indestructible stone which was currently making its way into his lungs, he would have been impressed – even more than a few minutes ago, in his cell. There, the walls were much thicker. He didn’t know what kind of a cannon was that, who made it, who made the ammunition and how much did someone pay to buy it, but it was definitely worth every penny.

On the other hand, Layla just shacked the shock off like a wet dog and whisked the dust away from her hat.

“Well, your majesty, on your feet, let’s go, let’s go!” she commanded, pulling him up with one tug. It was the first time he realized that she may be not be a giant, but she is surprisingly strong.

“Please” he sighed. “You’ve found me in that cellar precisely because I’ve tried to become “majesty”, so please, don’t remind me”.

“Ah, so I remember correctly!” she giggled, going over the rubble and climbing up again. “You are that Hans from Arendelle?”.

“I suppose.” He passed by her, knowing that they are close.

And there they were, the door to the king’s office. It was closed, of course – but made of wood, and Layla’s pistol also had a good kick.

“Huh” she cringed, when she saw the inside. “I was expecting more.”

Hans has to admit, this room in no way, shape or form resembled anything fit for an aristocracy. It didn’t suit neither their family’s wealth nor the respect for the throne. In general, there was only a simple desk – out of the finest dark wood, of course – three chairs with red upholstery and, running all around the walls, floor to ceiling, big, heavy bookstands, filled with debtors, payroll and land registries. Plus, a small rug of an eastern fashion and a not-so-impressive lamp. It looked more like an office for some mediocre accountant, not a king.  

“My father likes to spend his money, but he doesn’t like to be distracted when working”. Especially by his sons, he wanted to add, but, on the second thought, decided to remain silent. He ran to one of the shelves and started to skim through some of the books. He knew the key to the main treasury is always at the king’s side. He also knew that a few years ago he – in the biggest secret, of course – made himself a new, spare one, because he didn’t feel like chasing his father around the halls every time he collected some taxes. It was funny how things turned out with time.

“There you are” he smiled, pulling it from a carefully carved hole in one of the bindings.

“You must have feel really offended by that cellar” she stated.

“Feeling offended” wasn’t really the best sentence to describe the state of Hans’s mood and spirits, but he didn’t want to think about it too much. He didn’t want to think at all at this point, because his rational side was pulling all of the alarms, warning him that he is making a mistake which may result in no way back. But the rest of his brain was in some sort of a hysterical excitement, telling him that since his situation cannot possibly become much worse than it already is - he may as well make his father’s blood boil through the veins. And escape his brothers. After all, isn’t it better to be some sort of a pushover to strangers than to his own family?

“Help me with it!” he asked Layla, moving a few other books out of the way. Something clicked behind the wood.

“No way, you must be kidding me!” the pirate’s eyes went bright. “You have a secret pass behind the bookcase?!”

“Even better, we have a treasury there!” he precised, grabbing the shelf.

She jumped next to him and they pushed it together – forward and right. The bookcase slid to the side, uncovering solid, massive doors – from the most durable iron one could find on the Isles.

“There we are, knock yourself out!” he invited, taking the heavy chain down and unlocking the padlock.

Layla grabbed a lamp from the desk and lighted the inside. Small glimmer reflected in the thousands of golden coins. The treasury, build like a well, extending from here all the way down to catacombs, was filled almost to the top.

“Holy…” she sighed. “I think I’m gonna need a bigger bag”.

“Let me be of service, lassie” said, out of the blue, a deep, manly bass from behind their backs.  

*

“And that’s how I’ve met Bernard”.

[carmenized-onions]

chapter 12, new chapter yeeeehawwww

THAT FUCKING PIC HOLY MOLY

not the flight pun… (i love puns but wow just wow)

THE LOCATION IS STILL ON, I REPEAT THE LOCATION IS STILL ON (he deffo didn’t forget, he purposfully chose to keep it like that i just know:’)) )

EVA DREW A PICTURE OF HER???🥹🥹🥹

ignore the Bear in the room - 💀💀💀

Something? Or, rather, explicitly, that’s nothing. - LMAO. also yay carmen didn’t give the creep her number :D

Sydney sleeps on your shoulder, for most of the plane ride - CUTIES. get me those squidinky (kissing) crumbs

“what are we?’” Answers Syd - 👀👀👀

see if he needed help with getting ready - omg that would’ve been so cute tho her helping him tie a tie or fix his bow or cufflinks or whatever

Plus, the amount you saved on splitting a one bed? - one bed for the economy tropeeeee

pinning the collar pins on her uniform - ayo? that’s kinda 👀

I think it’s peach - like the drink she made🥺

Pbb—Fuck, - LSNEKKRKE she’s adorable

“Chip, can you put these fuckin’ things on f’me?” - SO CUTEEE. BESTIESSSSSS

the dirty details? - evil to not let us know but alas it needs to make sense with where chippy’s head is at I GUESS

I’m waitin’ on my informer - chippy cringed but i aweed

“I know.” - THEYRE SUCH BESTIES SHUT UPPPP

whore-derve— - the way i stopped mid-tea-sip

You angle your body from Richie to her, deadpanning. “Just because you went to the fuckin’ FBI or whatever the fuck—” - LMAOOO the chip and richie tag team we love to see it

Carmen did your prep entirely himself. - i’m gonna fucking sob???? YOU CANT JUST DROP THIS ON ME I-

So no one else could’ve left the simple braised beef sandwich on your station. […] Your order at The Beef. - HE IS THE CUTEST EVER. did he actually do something wrong? i seem to have forgotten -

He nods, like he understands, walking away - me even when i haven’t gotten a fucking clue about what they actually wanted me to do

“Insane thing to say about your five-year-old.” - indeed it is. though hilarious. this chapter is lighter, more banter, which is nice

Yeah. They had lavender and maple syrup behind the bar. - SHUT UPPPPP I LOVE THEM I MISS THEM SOMMUCH THEYRE EVERYTHING TO ME GGFFHHHHFHFHD

“Aye aye, Chippy.” - so cute. chippy could be a pirate name

Still failed Mikey, no matter how hard you tried. - stop it 🗞️💥

this chapter is making me really miss being on bar

You really need to start telling people you don’t know how to make bellinis. - Chippy let me get on bar with you, i’ll make all the bellinis for you (even tho i hate opening champagne bottles)

“Tiny quiche?”- richie i love you i love you i love you

“Don’t ask. Tell.” - nice

‘couldn’t stop him lmk if it’s bad’ - IS CARMY COMING :33333

“You need a barback?” - *see attached pic* he’s EVERYTHING. words cannot begin to express how much i love him. why is he not real i will midsommar myself

like accidentally used half the bottle levels like you. - HES SO CUTE C’MON

You’ll probably miss him for the rest of your life. - clutching my chest

But you know Carmen does it for you. Lights up a room for you - STOP CHOPPING ONIONS (no pun intended)

With haste, Carmen puts the palm of his hand over your mouth - fuck me fuck me fuck me

Oh, he missed being this close to you. - 🥺🥺🥺

You shove it towards him - i’ve missed them so much. also now i want a tiny quiche

what you’d want to do for your own. - with camen😁

ice will shock your nervous system. - ICE CHIPS BABYYYY

“I owe you an apology—” - LMAOOOO HE THOUGHT-

Fak does. - oh god this will be something

“but y’know, I can handle myself, Carmen.” - oh my lord is he gonna apologize for the fixing oven thing 💀💀

“Oh, come on, you haven’t shown up at The Bear since last Friday—” - oh he thinks- ,,, onion this is glorious

the way time literally stopped, when you left. When he made you leave.- YOURE SUCH A TALENTED WRITER FUCK OFF

And obviously Carmen could tell, so he stopped calling you. Trying to be a true bro - IQBDIEHEIHEIEISJSKAKAJSHDUSJJSJS

“Between us.” What. - oh fak oh nononononono. i wonder that carmen will think about this😁

“Fuckin’ cool it, Fak.” Carmen barks, in tandem with you. - i love her guard dog :3

“…Was that anything—” - CARMEN HOW DUMB ARE YOU

“Yeah. Hi, Uncle Lee.” - OH FUCK THIS DUDE (uncle lee that is)

Pulling the drink away from his hand - LMAO as she should😌😌

“Ah… I see, friend, ya did a little—” He taps the side of his nose, sniffing. - i would’ve (mentally) fucking jumped over the bar counter and had his ass

junkie hands - GET HIS ASS CHIPPY

There’s a pile of forks behind your bar, that you’d asked Richie for, just in case this situation came to a head - LMFAO NOT THE FORKS

Carmen’s the only one that flinches, immediately rearing his own fist back - AYO WOULD HE FIGHT FOR HER?

“Yessir.” - she’s so funny, i love her

If I see you outside, I’m taking you to the fucking pavement, and I’m not getting off. - i love her so much, i want to kiss her

“You’re a real fuckin’ bi—” A fork flies over his shoulder, clattering behind him. Not from you, from Carmen. - BABYBOYYYYY I LOVEEEEEEEE YOUUUUUUUUUU

“Alright, Donna.” - PAVEMENT, NOW

“Black lavender latte. Cognac n’ coffee liqueur. If it’s too strong, let me know, I can add more milk.” - i’m crying again, i love them so muchh

You’re overjoyed at the verbal confirmation he drank it. - the way they mirror each other owns my entire being and i will not accept anyone else for him in any season of The Bear ever

“Needed yours.” - Baueidnrirjejejdudhshd !!!!!!!!! i know i’m forgiving him way too easily but hello!! when he acts like this how can i not fold

i had to stop the chapter here bc chores and oh my god???? i will think about this until i can read it again

caught; but then he looks at your face, and he knows he has nothing to be worried about. - the way she makes people feel safe IS JUST SO 🥹🥹🥹 there are tears of softness in my eyes

You defend everyone but you. - REAL. which is why carmen going off on her was so much sadder because he just confirmed all her worst thoughts about herself

and he knows it’ll be too much, for him or you - this is so interesting because i really can’t tell wether she struggled with addiction herself or if it’s just from supporting mikey

“None of my business.” He sniffs, awkwardly. “Unless you want it to be.” - THEY’RE SO SIMILAR

“No.” The reply is instant. - :’)))))))))

This is when he looks embarrassed, just slightly. - OH?👀👀👀

‘Who said?’ - Squid is so funny

It’s a built-in habit for you, to hand your fork to Carmen. - them sharing cutlery will always be one of the cutest things ever

“Just wanted to make sure you got dessert, over here.” Just wanted to make sure you ate something. - THEY’RE ALL SO CUTE AND CARING STOP MY HEART

Carmen shrugs, smiling, “Are you tryna get fucked up at work, Chef?” - they’re all so cute with each other, it makes me feel so warm and fuzzy

If things were normal you could just eat off each other's plates. - i miss that time. gotta do a re-read for sure

“Ey, sorry everyone, we’re just gonna take a quick thirty, alright? Union mandated.” - HE IS SUCH A SWEETHEART CMON

“I’d ride for you.” - i’d do anything for them

“I lo— I like you, so much - HOLD UP- HOW ARE WE JUST SKIPPING PAST THIS. SHE WAS THINKING HOW LONG IT PROBABLY TAKES HIM TO SAY THE L-WORD AND IT WAS ABOUT TO SLIP OUT OF HIM AFTER KNOWING HER A FEW WEEKS LIKE CMON NOW SOULMATES

Carmen does not wish to be anywhere else.  - them, just THEM

“You don’t owe me shit.” “I’m paying back a Berzatto, somehow.” - somehow they’re both me

“I was in his work cabinet, I think Richie was in his bedside, you and Sug were in his wallet.” - THATS SO🥺🥺🥺

You let him go, though you don’t particularly want to. - they’re both just so <3

You jump, your head hits the bottom of the base of the bar’s sink. - me constantly hurting myself on accident

“Carmy, babydoll, are you fucking insane?” - BABYDOLL

“How old do you think I am?” - LMFAOOOO the shade on mikey’s age suidhejdej

Would’ve said you’re getting sloppy seconds or call me a fuckin’ homie hopper - HOMIE HOPPER MADE IT YESSIRRRR

Need something to do with your hands. - MIRROR

Joint bank account. It was partially your money, technically. - THE MONEY SHE OWES. WOW WE’RE LEARNING EVERYTHING IN THIS CHAPTER

“Since when does Richie give a fuck about personal?” - real but i’m proud of him

“Sobriety chip.” - WE BEEN SAYING. okay yes i’ve said a lot of other shit but!!

attachment*

ALRIGHT MY POPCORN LET'S FUCKIN POP IN LETS GO THIS TOOK ME SO LONG TO GET TO THANK YOU FOR BEING PATIENT AS ALWAYS

We're doing list format let's fuckin GO

I love hunting for screencaps, this one I felt like would be a little clickbaity because he's on the phone and these mother fuckers. do not call each other. BUT THE VIBE? LIKE THE VIBE? IT'S THERE

THE LOCATIONNNN!!! We may never know. Well we'll probably eventually know. It might not ever be brought up in canon because I may well forget but if you ask I'll tell.

EVA DREW A PICTURE OF HER!! We will eventually get into their dynamic but I think Chip just gives major cool gay aunt vibes. Her aura.

SO MUCH SQUIDINK IN THIS CHAPTER. The SHOULDER. the WHAT ARE WE. the GAY DEODORANT.

funny thing about cufflinks,,,, Truly though while writing I was like awe man :(( they could've had a cute moment if they weren't fighting. Carm/Tony honestly might've ended up being the ones splitting the one bed for the economy if they weren't fighting. SON OF A BITCH!!! At least in lieu of them we just got A Lot Of Squid time

THE DIRTY DETAILS AND THAT WHOLE ROADTRIP WENT UNTALKED ABOUT BECAUSE I HONESTLY DIDN'T WANT TO HAVE TO THINK ABOUT IT YET LMAOOOO. I was like listen I know the rough gist I will figure it out later. And thank god I did because I did end up making a couple pivots from what I had originally planned. you will see.

Chip and Richie dogging on someone-- Anyone-- Together, always makes me the most happy. Like the Ratatouille moment from Zero Pulse and the CIA moment from Something to Do,,, I just love to see these bitches YAP at people like small dogs.

I love seeing and being able to tell exactly who's worked in service because everyone that has has IMMEDIATELY fucking folded upon reading Carmen did the sidework and made food.

I don't think anyone expected this chapter to be as light as it is-- Or at least as light as it starts. I think that's just the way of the Chip really, she brings ease even to the reader,,,,, ahhh my heart... my baby...

When I first made the lavender coffee in chap 2 I really didn't realize I was gonna keep fucking bringing it up. and now it's all I yap about. Carmen just gives a lavender coffee vibe yknow?

THIS CHAPTER MAKES YOU MISS BEING ON BAR??!?!?!?! You know what i get it, over an office job, there's something about the franticness that does feel like. cocaine.

TINY QUICHE!! I wish I was creative enough to think about more whore derves but I was really set on tiny quiches

You need a barback? - a man whos about to roll a boulder up a hill for the rest of his life and be content about it. He's also gonna smell like you the whole time, at least.

WHO IS CHOPPING ME!!!!!!!! It was wrenching to write Tony essentially already starting the grieving process of their relationship. like she very much prepared for it to be so jover in her head. hell. hell. hell.

FUCK MEDFGKJFG-- I think I did do a coin flip on whether he'd do the hand thing. Because it is funny. And also kind of hot. But he tends to just let people yell. but it's A WEDDING. And the yes or no wheel decided for me so listen if you ever think i make an out of character choice blame it on the wheel. the wheel probably did that. i've never made a wrong characterization ever in my life actually

The whole I owe you an apology-- I loved because I was basically just doing this bit over again:

Tumblr does not let you do lists starting at a higher number so we're STARTING OVER. FAK!! I think I only planned for this convo to happen when I wrote their little moment in Zero Pulse. It paid off in dividends, I'm so happy with it.

TIME STOPPEDEEDEDED-- Thank you hehehe. I wonder if we'll learn more about that moment latter,,,,,,,,,, probably nottt,,,,, hehehehehehe-- oh uncle lee's here look at that!!

SHE'D DIEEE BEFORE SHE SERVES THAT MOTHERFUCKER SHE CAME IN KNOWING SHE'D GET HIS ASS. I love my Chippy.

The amount of shock I have seen at Carmen getting ready to punch his Not Uncle has me offended on his behalf. OF COURSE HE'D FIGHT BACK COME ON!!!

I love watching these two acts of service motherfuckers try to out acts of service each other, basically. sex is gonna be insane what? i didn't say anything. talk about mirroring each other WHAT?

ah, the whole scene with the unnamed man, muah. i kiss them both. my two darlings. it made Just Dropped feel even worse though jesus CHRIST . (modern day saviour)

I have spent too long gigglin over every point you made so i'm going to SPEED UP STARTING NOW!! New chapter is absolutely not coming out tonight but if I get far enough in my asks, maybe early tommorow? We'll see. Anyways.

Marcus and Chip have rare moments but when they do they make me very happy. tryna get fucked up at work? It's very important to me, that Carmen fucking relaxes, in this chapter. It just makes me very happy that he lets people do their thing because he realizes they're fucking competent.

i fully went back to read old chapters when i got too sad. these motherfuckers are SO in their sad era I cannot wait to dig our way out of it like I WANNA GO HOME BITCCHEEESS ,,, CAN WE LEAVE THIS IN NEW YORK PLEASSEEE

i have yet to see anyone except you really yell at me about that almost love slip. maybe it's cause everyone thinks it's unrealistic but i do think while he's not ready to verbalize it, the trauma bond is too strong to not feel a type of way, yknow?

AS YOU SAID: THEM. This was very much my season 2 under the table scene. Loved writing this one. BABYDOLL!! BABY BOYYY

The how old do you think I am came from a very real place because when I looked up Michael's age and saw 43 i was JUST STARING LIKE WHHUUHH??? I was considering doing a little one sided crush action-- But these two have a full driver's license having TEEN BETWEEN THEM-- IT'S A NO, IT'S A NO FROM MIKEY AND ME DOG, But at least homie hopper made it!!!

So much lore dumping in one chapter-- If Carmen just waited two seconds he could've read it all in this chapter instead of having that fight smh

"WE BEEN SAYING" WHEN IN THE SAME ASK YOU SAID ICE CHIPS LDFKSFDNLS but yes, you did in fact be saying. that cannot be denied. YOU CAUGHT ME!!!

as always thank you so much for your thoughts i love u UNTIL NEXT TIME I HAVE TO GO WILL I BE BACK? probably but I really shouldn't i should really get ready for work tommorow and get a full nights sleep. but. but. answering asks,,,,, this is my hell

[pearwaldorf]

This is such an interesting poll because fully a quarter of the results are "Please let me explain", which I think is surprising for something with ten options!

Attraction* is a strange and complex thing at the best of times, especially when it's to blorbos or people who are so unattainable they might as well be.

I mean, sometimes it's clear-cut. Taika and Ed are both extremely pretty and hot. As somebody who likes men/masc people both of them totally do it for me.

So you know the trope of the nerd (usually a girl) glowup? Like sometimes it's putting somebody in clothes that flatter their body or a touch of makeup, but I think a lot of it is context shifting, seeing a person in a circumstance that's different than the usual. Like Drew Barrymore in Ever After.

My introduction to Rhys Darby was Murray** in Flight of the Conchords, okay? No shade if you think he's fuckable, but he did not do it for me. The epitome of swagless looks and cringe-fail personality.

And you know how sometimes people seem to settle into themselves for a lot of reasons, including getting a new hair color? (Like Tori Amos is a bottle redhead, but she's a redhead, y'know?) And obviously seeing somebody in two roles almost 20 years apart is going to be different, but that context shift is something I've been thinking about since I watched S1 of OFMD. (Also that photoshoot in the powder blue suit. It lives rent free in my head.)

I love Stede dearly. It's been a joy watching him grow as a character and become more confident in himself as a person and as a leader. Confidence is attractive. Confidence and competence is sexy. Also being willing to murder people for insulting/hurting the people you love is hot af. I don't make the rules. But I'm not Ed, and attraction is contextual and specific for me.

Anyways. Some thoughts, take them or leave them.

--

* Aesthetic, sexual, gendery, whatever. I'm leaving this squishy.

** Forever loling that 1. Jenkins kept auditioning people and finally being like "I want Murray from FOTC" and Taika saying "You know I can call Rhys up right?" 2. Taika kept looking at the auditions and going "idk if I'm going to vibe with this person" and fell into the gay pirate actors casting their besties trap

[dapperbasil]

OC Tag Game

Tagged by my lovely @mountainashfae! You know perfectly well I have like nobody to tag so uh just whoever sees this and wants to I guess!

Favorite OC: I’d be lying if I said anyone that’s not Tammy King. My cringe fail girl, the girl who inspired me to start writing again, the girl who might not even be fully a girl but doesn’t quite realize it yet. 

Newest OC: That’d be Thorne, my not so lovely Dark Ages Toreador. Agender and a matching pair with Thalia/Tulio, Rowan’s Lasombra. 

Oldest OC: Oh man uh this is a very complicated story but, its definitely the old OC that Tammy is based off of. Tnami has taken many forms over the years, and she always finds another way to pop back up.

Meanest OC: Verity. She just wanted to live her own life man, but people and things kept getting in her way and one way or another she kinda ended up snapping. Urgathoa liked her though, and having a daughter as a pirate lord is quite the way to protect a temple. Verity doesn’t mind it either, as now people fear her enough to leave her and her followers alone. Or they die an awful death, either works for her!

Softest OC: Lillian, believe it or not. In her original writing and before her sire came along in VTM she was a very gentle and shy young woman. She still would have been, but... Tzimisce embraces aren’t very nice.

Most aloof/standoffish OC: Its Thorne with a steel chair- But really who would blame them after everything they went through. A Lasombra ghoul stolen by a Toreador for embrace and then treated like a pet, while already being a knight would leave many neonates bitter. Really only Thalia/Tulio sees past all of it.

Dumbest (affectionate) OC: Tammy again. Where do I even begin with how absolutely IDIOTIC this childe is. Zacharias really took on a project when he embraced her as a Ventrue, that’s for sure. Too stubborn for her own good and too dumb to realize rushing into danger to protect others is an awful idea. Well, maybe now there’ll be a little less of that...

Smartest OC: Somehow, I have no idea how, its Nophy. The luckiest goblin in all of Irrisen, my Serendipity Shaman somehow is my smartest OC. Though I think having an ancestor guiding her is giving her a bit of a boost here. The kid can’t even speak common without him.

Horniest OC: None of them can really count here except Tammy but Daiana canonically has like 3 kids and I love my daughter and any excuse to talk about her so lets go with her.

OC you'd be best friends with irl: I think most of my OCs would hunt me for sport, but maybe Rhitani. Though she’s definitely got her hands full keeping Winter’s brawler girl Sifa out of trouble so it’d probably be one of those see them once every few months friendships.

[mrslittletall]

Now that I finished my Ghibli watch (so many movies), let's give a mini review of how I liked each one:

Nausicaa of the Valley of the Wind -> Amazing! Loved it. World building and characters were stellar. Just the 80ies sounds were a bit jarring. But all the time I watched at the movie and was going "Caelid?! Malenia?!"

Yeah, someone at FromSoft got inspired by this movie.

Castle in the Sky -> I thoroughly enjoyed this one. I liked the magical elements, the robots and the pirates. Also how the children decided in the end to give up on Laputa because there is already life up there. Beautiful.

Grave of the Fireflies -> Netflix didn't have it! So I have to watch it elsewhere! I want to, I heard the film fucks you up.

My Neighbour Totoro -> Cute and wholesome! Also realistic toddler character with Mei ^^ I loved it and I want to touch the cat bus.

Kiki's Delivery Service -> I would have loved to have 30 minutes more for the movie. It felt like it was over too soon. The moment Kiki was in the town, it felt like it was over again. I wish we could have spent more time with her.

Only Yesterday -> It was fine, but I felt myself more attached to Taeko's childhood flashbacks instead of her adult life.

Porco Rosso -> Felt a bit like it was going nowhere. Would have loved to see the romance between Porco and the opera lady explored more.

Ocean Waves -> Oh god, don't let me go on a Rikako rant. I HATE HER! Yeah, the movie was boring and the ending downright frustrating. I need to watch the scene of Taku bitchslapping Rikako to feel inner peace.

Pom Poko -> I watched this one ages ago on free TV, but remember enough. It was enjoyable, but without knowlegde of the japanese tanuki myth this movie must come over as WEIRD.

Whisper of the Heart -> Ocean Waves wanted to be this, but failed. I loved this one. Especially the scene where Country Roads was sung. A good coming of age story for a girl who doesn't know where she stands in life yet.

Princess Mononoke -> Classic. Watched it ages ago. Can't rewatch and it is a bummer. Why do there have to be TWO blood vomiting scenes in this movie which scare me? A LOT?! Maybe I rewatch and just look elsewhere during the scenes where San accompanies the hurt boar…

My Neighbours the Yamadas -> Didn't watch. Feels like it was based on a Showa era manga. Showa era humour is just cringe to me.

Spirited Away -> First Ghibli movie ever. Saw in the cinema. Rewatched a few times. A classic. Deserved the Oscar. Noface is best.

The Cat Returns -> A bit short. But a cute adventure with cats. Reuses the baron of Whispers of the Heart. I liketo think that was the book that the protag of this movie actually published ^^

Howl's Moving Castle -> Howl is a drama queen and we love him for it. Loved this movie. Fantastic. Loved Howl's monster form and that Sophie is a monsterfucker.

Just was annoyed by dub voice for young Sophie. Sounded horrible.

Tales from Earthsee -> Someone tried to condense a huge fantasy novel into a two hour movie. Didn't work. The characters barely could shine.

Hilarious accidental trans character in the dub. The villain wizard was clearly male, was called he/him and called lord, but had a female dub voice. I couldn't help but headcanon him as trans masc thanks to it.

Ponyo ->Cuuuute. Ponyo and Sosuke are so cute. Ponyo's fish face weirded me out though.

Arietty -> Probably one of the best borrower adaptations out there. Just disliked the ending. I really wanted them to move into the dollhouse.

From Up on Poppy Hill -> Boring. Barely remember the movie.Main character was flaaat.

The Wind Rises -> Strange. Half of the movie felt like a dream. Excellent animation on the earthquake though.

The Tale of the Princess Kaguya -> EXCELLENT! Animation and style is BEAUTIFUL! I love the music, I loved the retelling of the fairy tail. This movie is nothing short but art.

When Marnie was there -> This movie is a tearjerker. A BIG one, but I have an issue with it. It had very sapphic feelings and then they reveal that Marnie was Anna's grandmother all along?! Dude, then why the queerbait?!

Earwig and the Witch -> Didn't watch. Didn't want to watch movie which was 3D animated. I wanted to watch all the 2D animated ones. If you think I should give the movie a chance, I will watch it.