#a.k.a. Lulu

[haryuwu]

[eminsunnytoons123]

Disclaimer: before I start, dont attack me for these headcanons. This is just in my AU And made for sake od enjoyment And creativity.

Sorry for tagging y'all again o///o;

@splashy900 @kxllboii @cheezekennith @muppet-fan-real @aquamarine-dream-queen @dayzsaclark @oscarandgrinchfan @moshywoosh @ilovescaredysquirrel2 @nuggetaubrey @sharkyy599 @nightkit92 @familyoffood @mysafespaceblog13 @thelazzyblogzz @sugar-miss1 @shrimpathizer @shypeachrunaway @iggyguyy @sayuri-does-skits @typical-sophie @peaceforpeople @ben5569 @itsmyaltaccountforshiitybloglol0 @ducktoonz903707 @artismeyou-12 @blackstar044 @acen402 @diego-r-the-artist-2009 @nia1sworld @rumplestiltsbear @s4gefr0g @beeware-of-lulu @leafith @bluebird-in-a-cagedrawing @muppet-fan-frr @thegroovyskull @blo0st4r

Heres now finally my class of 3000 characters headcanons!!! =^_^=

1st part: Sunny And his students

Number one, Sunny bridges

28-29 years old|bisexual|personalities: sassy, laid back, sarcastic, sometimes arrogant, friendly, kind And polite

- Sunny has a very good sense of humor, even tho he can sometimes be extremely sarcastic and he makes very sarcastic jokes

- he is dating cheddar man a.k.a Charles, And they started dating after Sunny "BROKE UP" with Salieri after their first years of westley school, but they didnt really broke up, they just stopped interacting with each other but Salieri then broke up with Sunny for being "dumb" And "naive"

- he sees his students as his own kids he raised, And due to the fact that even lil' D, philly Phil, Madison, Eddie, tamika, kim And kam see him as their dad. And Sunny would never let anything bad happen to them even tho he is just their teacher, but maybe something more than just a teacher... A dad

- the reason why he is named "Sunny", is because he was born when a sunset was going up when he was born (thats just in my AU.)

- he hates, And I mean HATES oranges due to the fact he is allergic to them too. And once Salieri even tried to give him an orange cake, And he just threw it on salieri's face. And whenever someone would offer him an orange or anything with oranges, he would get annoyed

- he wears man heels And sometimes woman heels to look more like a "drag Queen"

- whenever he is with philly Phil, philly Phil is nearly his same height

Number two, lil' D

12 years old|probably genderfluid 💖🤍💜🖤💙|personalities: confident, friendly, Bright, talented, tenacious when it comes to music, And sometimes sarcastic

- Even though he is a big fan of Sunny, he even sees him as his own dad just like how other six of kids do, And because lil' D never really met his dad

- he sometimes doesnt like cheddar man a.k.a Charles because he constantly calls them "brats" whenever Sunny isnt around, or when Sunny is around but then he just uses an excuse like "im just joking."

- sometimes People can mistake him for a girl And call him by female prounouns, but he sometimes doesnt mind.

- Big D is probably like his uncle, but not completely, its just because they have D at the end of their names.

- he, Madison, tamika, Eddie, kim And kam see philly Phil as their older Brother due to the fact he is older than them And kinda taller than them

Number three, madison

12 years old|probably pansexual|personalities: optimistic, quirky, goofy, childish friendly, cheerful but even sensitive, naive and sometimes whiny

- she likes all the colors, but Purple is her favorite color, especially anything that has Purple color on it

- she can sometimes be whiny whenever she doesnt get what she wants, And she gets very sensitive when someone bullies her, ESPECIALLY tamika

- she sees cheddar man a.k.a Charles as her other dad just like how she, lil' D, philly Phil, Eddie, tamika, kim And kam see Sunny as their dad. But she sometimes cries when Charles is rude to them or calls them "brats"

- she likes eating Strawberry shortcake (the desert), And she likes anything with strawberries And even raspberries

- Nearly everyone call her "the flower child" or "optimistic lavender girl" but in a Nice And friendly way since she is an "flower child" And because she LOVES lavenders

- she likes any kind of jewerly, dresses And even hairstyles

- she sometimes has a crush on tamika even tho tamika often bullies her And teases her

Number four, Philly Phil

13 years old|pansexual|personalities: briliant, clever, an oddball, friendly but even sometimes arrogant, sarcastic And sometimes easily annoyed

- philly Phil is the oldest And tallest one in music class of westley school, And he is nearly Sunny's height even tho he is literally 176 cm tall And Sunny is 183 cm tall.

- other kids in music class of westley see philly Phil as their cool, oddball And briliant big Brother, but he doesnt really mind

- he is allergic to red ants, And he gets disgusted by them

- he has a crush on both kim And Eddie, And he doesnt really wanna admit it because he sometimes gets nervous about what would others say, even sunny

- he dislikes cheddar man a.k.a Charles, And he calls him a "cheddar jerk" when he And Sunny arent around

- its Unknown why he has braces, but I gave him braces because thats kind of my thing to give nerdy And oddball characters braces, but philly Phil doesnt have an overbite like Brooklyn Bill

- he is an chocoholic, And he likes anything made out of chocolate, And he sometimes doesnt like being an chocoholic (but he doesnt eat too much chocolate but he still sure is quite addicted to it)

- he has two cuddly plush toys just like on the Show, called 'mr giraffe' And 'mr raccoon' And he sometimes gets embarassed if some of his friends would see it, because he wants to look mature for his friends And Sunny, but they actually wouldnt judge him for it

- he is even autophobic (fear of being alone), but he sometimes likes being alone but not completely

Number five, tamika And number six, Eddie

First tamika

12-13 years old|bisexual|personalities: stubborn, rude, arrogant, sarcastic, sassy And tough

- tamika is probably the second oldest along with philly Phil And she is nearly as tall as him, but philly Phil is still the oldest one because tamika is Younger than him a few months

- she is considered as "the toughest girl in school", And some students are afraid of her, but not really her friends, sometimes Madison can be scared of her but mostly liking her too

- she likes the color cyan and blue just like how cheddar man a.k.a Charles does

- she sometimes really hates cheddar man a.k.a Charles, And whenever he is rude to them, she protects her friends, And sometimes slaps him or punches him right in the gut or on the lips

- even tho she has slight longer nails, she still plays the harp

- she is with Eddie And she often teases him And flirts with them, even gives him kisses on the cheek

Second Eddie,

12-13 years old|bisexual|personalities: greedy, sassy, Nice, friendly, polite but even spoiled, sometimes arrogant, sarcastic

- Eddie can sometimes brag about being rich And spoiled, but not always just to not annoy others

- he madly has a HUGE crush on tamika, but he is even in a relationship with her

- Eddie knows philly Phil has a crush on him, And he gets flattered by it And he sometimes teases him, leaving tamika to feel suspicious And jealous

- he often calls others "dear" or "Sweetheart" for sassiness And that stuff

- he has five pets. A poodle named "Maya", two persian cats named "Michi" And "Rose", a big parrot named "Rodrigo" And an pet horse named "Gus"

Number seven, Kim And number eight, Kam

First Kim,

11 years old|still questioning her sexuality|personalities: Nice, friendly, sweet, cheery And sometimes tomboyish and sarcastic

- Kim has a great sense in Fashion just like Madison, And she finds any Fashion And hairstyles beautiful

- she sleeps with a stuffed toy Rabbit because she is scared of the Dark And doesnt like being in any Dark places

- just like on the original Show, she often fights And argues with kam, even tho Kam starts it first, And she hates when her twin Brother Kam brags about being the smartest kid in class And even school

- she And kam are the youngest in class, but kim is the shortest one in class, only her twin Brother being a few inches taller than her

Second Kam,

11-12 years old (presumably 12 years old)|still questioning his sexuality|personalities: smart, inteligent, most mature, sarcastic And arrogant

- Kam is usually the one to start the fights And arguments between him And Kam

- he always calls himself "the most mature" in the class, And he gets easily annoyed when someone ignores him or when his friends do something Stupid or childish

- Kam sometimes tries to make his sister Kim not do dangerous things just to keep her safe, And that makes her be annoyed by him

- he and Kim can sometimes speak their national Language, And others sometimes dont understand them

And also, i'll always make small or medium posts with more of the characters' infos because I'm still thinking about more info for them. Not only Sunny And his students' headcanons/infos, but even other characters' too

[indelibleevidence]

10 CHARACTERS/10 FANDOMS/10 TAGS

Tagged by @singinprincess, thanks!

Jane Doe a.k.a. Remi Briggs, Blindspot

Lara Croft, (classic) Tomb Raider

Lulu, Final Fantasy X

Abby Sciuto, (early) NCIS

Kate Beckett (Castle)

Jen, Primal (2003)

Tara Maclay, Buffy the Vampire Slayer

Faith Connors, Mirror's Edge

Jesse Faden, Control

GLaDOS, Portal

Tagging whoever wants a tag!

[mayohigan-orange]

Also, before I head off, I just... Don't understand game companies sometimes.

I'm going to be talking about stuff that isn't recent. Even the point I'll get to isn't recent.

But, whatever, y'know?

So, there's this company called Square Enix, and they make a series called Final Fantasy. They don't often bother with actual sequels, they just move on to the next game.

There are a few exceptions to this, though.

First off, FF7. Absolutely massively popular game, although I think it's overrated to hell and back and is... about passable by today's standards. And that's me being generous.

But yeah, it spawned a bunch of extra stuff, like Advent Children (which was alright), Dirge of Cereberus (it wasn't actually that bad) and Crisis Core (best thing to come out of FF7, in my opinion) as well as a bunch of other stuff.

It made sense. FF7 was absolutely massive, with people claiming it to be the best game ever (it really isn't) so it made sense that Square would want to capitalise on that (even if it was like years later) to make more money.

Next, we have FFX. Which was the first PS2 Final Fantasy and was also pretty widely praised. It also has Lulu so it gets bonus points for that. I've never actually finished it but I've played a fair bit of it, and I can see why people like it. Let's just not talk about the laughing scene. I don't care if it was meant to come off the way it did for reasons, that doesn't make it any better.

But yeah, after that, Square decided that a sequel would be a good idea, so along came FFX-2. Which I've also played a good chunk of and... I'm not gonna say it's better than FFX, but I do think it's better than people give it credit for. Luckily, nowadays people seem to be a bit kinder to it.

So, what game would be next for a sequel?

...Well actually FFXII, but I actually kinda like that game, and ADORE Revenant Wings, so I'm not going to be talking about that game right now. I really should play through it again sometime.

No, I'm going to talk about FFXIII. A.K.A. MANY MANY HOURS OF CORRIDOR SIMULATOR BEFORE YOU GET TO ANYTHING GOOD.

Most people did not like FFXIII. For fairly obvious reasons. Lightning was basically an expy of Cloud and Squall, while having none of the spark that make either character likeable. And most of the characters apparently didn't come off much better because... if you talk to people about the FF games, they will generally be able to mention one or two characters that are really good. FF6 has Locke and Celes, FF7 has Tifa and Aerith, FF10 has Auron and Rikku...

I've never really heard anyone talk about the characters in FFXIII. And I have talked about it with people who played it, they just... didn't have anything to say about the characters. Which in itself is a huge issue.

If you're created characters so boring that people don't even want to talk about them to illustrate the character's bad points, you've SEVERELY fucked up. Like, I can only vaguely recall a couple of characters, like... Snow and Serah, I think? And I couldn't tell you a damn thing about them. And before I keep going, no, I haven't played FFXIII but I've watched a friend play part of it and I've seen part of a stream on it. Couldn't really stand to watch it for too long because of how boring it is.

Apparently EVENTUALLY it opens up into a open world thing but the fact you have to go through HOURS of Corridor Simulator kinda makes it feel like Square's just going 'fuck you, you want freedom? just 11 more hours to go until freedom, fucker!'

And honestly if you still want to play by the time it becomes a more open-world affair, you're a masochist.

So yeah. Most people did not like FFXIII. They didn't like the gameplay, they didn't like the story, they didn't like the characters.

So what did Square Enix do?

"LET'S MAKE TWO SEQUELS TO THIS GAME THAT ABSOLUTELY NOBODY LIKED."

Just... why? Apparently it has something to do with Lightning disappearing which, y'know, good riddance to a poor character. And then Lightning Returning which... why can't Square Enix do that with characters people actually like and want to see back. *points at Geno not being in Smash*

It's just... I don't get why Square decided making two sequels to FF game that nobody liked was a good idea. Especially when it seems to be centralized around an extremely boring character like Lightning. I've never really been able to get an answer about that, either. Even people who 'like' FFXIII haven't been able to give me a proper answer on why FFXIII-2 and Lightning Returns exist. I guess maybe FFXIII sold well, but it was a Final Fantasy game. It was going to sell well. They should have waited to see what the fans said about it and then decided "hmm maybe we should just move on, the opinion about this game is... 'mixed', at best."

Anyway, I guess the rants over now. XP

[murphyslens]

How many of you have pets?? I have 2 dogs, 3 cats, and a bunny! Although the one dog and 2 cats don't take photos well, this dog here is the best! Lulu (a.k.a Lulu Bean) is a Great Pyrenees x Yellow Lab and she is a little over a year old! We road tripped from our house all the way to a little town an hour past Grand Falls-Windsor, which for those of you who don't know, is quite literallty the middle of nowhere. The farm that we got her from didn't have a street address, and the man gave us his house coordinates! How crazy is that?

Let’s chat about your pets!

[limmastyles]

"Silverstein says she’s concerned that the media feeding frenzy around the film could not only impact Wilde but could lead to collateral damage for other female directors as well. “I’ve heard that other women directors are kind of upset because they worry that women will be set back,” Silverstein says. “You know, there’s this concept that every woman’s success doesn’t breed anything, but every woman’s failure ruins it for everyone. We have to get over that.” / Los Angeles Times.

I hate when white women do shit like this. It’s not going to affect other female directors it’s only going to affect Olivia Wilde as a Director. Because all of the other female directors haven’t had issues like this. I haven’t heard this happening to Sofia Coppola, Ava Duvernay, Greta Gerwig, Nia Dacosta, Lulu Wong, Catherine Bigelow and other female directors. I have never heard this happen on their sites. It happened with Olivia not because of Harry because they were people from the production of this film that have come out and sent in blind items about her behavior. Olivia Wilde and her film are being criticized because the field isn’t very good but also a lot of the shit that she did during the filming and post production. there are no other female directors that are talking about this or are upset because it does not affect them. When Elizabeth Banks Directed the Charlie’s Angels movie and it didn’t do very well she blamed it on sexism. The film didn’t do very well because the film just wasn’t very good. And other female directors have been doing fine since. It’s not setting women back it’s just white women’s defence for when things don’t go their way. Katie’s script was trash. That’s the biggest shit of this movie. My biggest critique was the fact that Katie made horrible changes to the script and made the original script look bad. Her changes were bad. Olivia Wilde was a bad Director for this film. She had no idea what she was doing. This film was way too big to be her sophomore debut. The failure of don’t worry darling it does not hurt anyone but the people who made this movie a failure a.k.a. the Director and the screenwriter. If other people in the industry especially female directors were so concerned about what happened they would have come out and support of Olivia Wilde. No one dead. The only people who came out to support her where the people who worked on this film who were paid. That’s it. Whether or not Olivia was involved with hairy or not this film still would have been shit. White women like to blame sexism and break up feminism in every situation where they have failed because it’s their only weapon of choice. Elizabeth Banks is a huge example of Charlie’s Angels wasn’t good and she blamed it on sexism when in fact her film was just shit. And that’s the exact same thing that Katie and Olivia are doing. They are trying to use all women and female directors in this instance. Charlie’s Angels and Little women came out in the same year and Greta Gerwig did just fine. but we need to remember that Olivia Wilde at her white women squad are all white feminist. They are only concerned about the white feminist of the world which was Reflected in the awful movie that was don’t worry darling. Because I haven’t heard Olivia Wilde speak up for other women and only does so when it benefits and makes her look good. If she really cared about feminist and other women and then she would have showcase the women properly in this film instead of showing so much of herself, that big ass for head, and her block shaped Nokia head. Her movie was trash, she wasn’t a very good Director, the script was trash and she was exposed for being a terrible fucking person. No other female directors will have any problems because Olivia Wilde is important enough for talented enough for this to affect them.

[redrainytwashere]

If you're new here *(Hi 👋)* I'm RedRain A.K.A Lulu and I made a Tumblr Account-: *(1/8/23)* Because Of Boredom and to follow my favorite artist-: *(99kroi)* and that's really it TBH I don't know if I'm even gonna be online here but if I do I'll let you know. .-( RedRain ♥️ )-. *( P.S: Follow My Social Media's! -Please and thank you!)* *(0fficialredrain On Instagram!!)* 🤭💅✨

*(A little funny post from my favorite artist OFC! 😏)* .-( RedRain ♥️ )-.

[intaannsari]

Re-sign

“Every decision is correct at the time it is made”

Kalimat di atas merupakan salah satu guiding principlenya Gojek Engineering.

Maknanya relate banget sama apa yang lagi aku rasain beberapa waktu belakangan ini.

Di awal resign aku sempet galau ±3 harian. Padahal waktu itu lagi ngerjain project freelance Pemko yang deadlinenya 7 hari lagi. *sempet-sempetnya galau.

After resign itu aku berasa ga semangat wkwk, ada-ada aja memang. Ternyata aku sesuka itu kerja. Mungkin karena ada aktivitas ketemu manusianya (walau ada 1 momen pengen seharian ga ketemu siapa-siapa

Well, keputusan resignku November 2022 lalu kusadari adalah keputusan yang diambil dengan sedikit emosional, sedikit aja. Selebihnya udah cukup rasional dan ternyata memang itu adalah keputusan yang tepat pada waktu itu.

Kepikiran resignnya itu udah ada sejak bulan Juli dan semakin ingin di bulan September akhir. Bekerja dengan totalitas di Oktober dan keluar di November. *What a life.

3 hari sebelum memutuskan resign aku mengalami dilema berat, kepikiran terus setiap hari “tetap kerja di sini, S2, atau pindah kerjaan ya?”

Mau pindah kerjaan tapi kena ghosting setelah wawancara, *anyone relate with me?

Waktu itu gak ada cara lain selain minta petunjuk sama Allah mengenai apa jalan terbaik untuk hidup anak usia 23 tahun yang lagi dilema ini.

Dan, resign adalah jawabannya. Sebuah keputusan yang mengagetkan banyak orang (orangtua, rekan kerja, temen-temen, bahkan mungkin atasanku sendiri).

“Kamu kan suka banget kerja,”

“Bukannya kamu nyaman-nyaman aja ya selama kerja?”

—

Jadi kenapa resign?

Mau S2.

Klise?

Terdengar iya, tapi memang itulah faktanya.

Pendaftaran S2 dibuka akhir November, ditutup 03 Januari dan waktu itu aku belum nyiapkan berkas sama sekali, bahkan gak belajar apa-apa. I think i need take time to focus on.

“Kamu kan rencananya reguler, gaperlu belajar juga bakalan lulus aja itu.”

“Belajar sambil kerja bisa kok,”

Gak ada yang salah dari komentar apapun itu. Bener memang belajar sambil kerja bisa, tapi dalam case aku kemarin agak susah belajar di kerjaan yang full time wfo ditambah side job wfh kala itu.

Selama kerja, sampai rumah tuh maunya langsung istirahat aja. Kalau belajar pun agak susah masuknya.

Jadi itu salah satu alasannya (alasan lain kalo ditulis kepanjangan ntar).

—

Setelah resign dan sebelum resign juga, aku sempet kepikiran “ntar kalo resign, keuanganku gimana ya?” “ntar kalo resign gabut ga ya?”

Aku memutuskan untuk mandiri finansial (dalam artian ga minta uang jajan ke orangtua lagi) setelah sidang sarjana. Walau gak ada kewajiban bekerja dan orangtua masih sangat mampu membiayai, tapi rasanya udah malu aja minta ke orangtua *anyone can relate?

Dorongan dari dalam diri sendiri kayak pengen aja gitu mandiri. Masa dibiayain terus udah dewasa, jadi anak yang gak punya daya juang ntar.

Ketakutan akan keuangan dan kegabutan ternyata tidak berlangsung lama.

Awal-awal full wfh itu rasanya emang bosen banget, karena terbiasa wfo. Ditambah waktu itu belum tahu berapa pendapatan dari ngerjain project tersebut.

November 2022 itu bisa dibilang bulan tergalaunya Intan. Setelah deadline project kelar dan hari-harinya Intan kosong lagi, sempet ngerasa “kok aku resign ya kemarin, duh itu keputusan yang salah gak ya” hm Intan Intan~

Padahal kan waktu galaunya bisa digunakan buat tes soal toefl, matematika, psikotest~

Jreng! Masuk akhir November muncul lagi project freelance part 2 sampai awal Desember, kemudian di minggu kedua-keempat Desember hidupnya Intan dipenuhi dengan serangkaian seleksi masuk kampus dan pemberkasan (a.k.a paper) yang buat kepala berasap.

Uniknya, di tengah persiapan mau ujian, ada tawaran menarik (perjalanan ke Aceh) untuk nemenin seorang psikolog ngisi kelas konseling di Universitas Samudra. I take it. Jadilah paginya ngurus berkas di Medan, sorenya berangkat ke Langsa, Aceh. Selang 2 hari setelah perjalanan balik ke Medan, masa ujian dimulai. *Apa itu gabut?

Menurutku itu merupakan salah satu rezeki Allah yang tidak terduga. Aku yang di November ngerasa gabut dan takut bakalan gak ada uang, takjub dengan cara Allah ngasih kejutan di bulan berikutnya, Desember.

Dan, di akhir Desember itu munculah notifikasi di rekening, TARAAA~ “Intan ini honor kemarin ya,”

I’m shocked! Really?

Beyond expectations.

masyaAllah, ini sih di luar ekspektasi.

Bener-bener ya rezeki dari Allah tuh paket komplit. Materi, ilmu, perjalanan. Alhamdulillah.

Dari situ aku jadi semakin percaya, kalo ada apa-apa ngomong aja ke Allah. Berharapnya ke Allah aja. Karena Allah itu sebaik-baik pemberi rezeki. Intan, jangan khawatir lagi ya sama apa-apa yang udah diatur Allah sedemikian rupa. Usaha dan doanya dikuatin lagi. Oiya, ikhlas dan bersyukur adalah koentji!

Dan, jangan menyesali keputusan yang udah diambil terlalu lama, waktunya bisa digunakan untuk do something important right now, oke!

Alhamdulillah Desember full senyum xixixi~

[novumtimes]

Richmond Maritime Festival fun for all ages

Reviews and recommendations are unbiased and products are independently selected. Postmedia may earn an affiliate commission from purchases made through links on this page. Article content Richmond Maritime Festival When: Aug. 24 and 25, 11 a.m.-6 p.m. Where: Britannia Shipyards National Historic Site, Richmond Info: richmondmaritimefestival.ca Every year Steveston celebrates its nautical and multicultural history with the Richmond Maritime Festival. Now in its 21st year, the free two-day event features live music, art installations, puppet shows, art exhibits, interactive shows and performances and more. Here are five reasons to check it out. Article content Rikki the Rat, a.k.a. Zach Wolfman and seen here performing at last year’s Richmond Maritime Festival, returns for this year’s free two-day event Aug. 24 & 25. Richmond Maritime Festival  photo New boats Major draws of the festival, the restored heritage boats never fail to stoke the imaginations of young and old alike. Among this year’s vessels are the 102-year-old SS Master tugboat, the oldest working wooden-hulled, steam-powered tug in the world. Returning favourites include the MV Gikumi, which has 70 years of almost continuous service on the West Coast. New to the festival this year are Midnight Sun, a herring and salmon seiner; Saffron, a 34-foot motor cruiser; and Sandra Jean II, a reconditioned fishing troller. Mermaids No maritime festival is complete without at least a couple of mermaids, and this year’s has four at last count. Mara the Musical Mermaid, a.k.a. singer-actor Erin Palm, hosts a storytime for the kiddies. Lulu the Mermaid, presented by puppeteer Jesse Stanley, also performs for the younger set. And don’t miss the Cannery Mermaids, a duo who will swim and sing their way through the afternoon crowds. Medieval folk rock and Japanese city pop Unfamiliar with these music styles? Well, you still will be after seeing Rainy Night Troubles. Although these “true Richmondite musicians” who “love performing in the Richmond community” count both of those genres among their repertoire, according to the festival. Instead they’ll be performing a maritime-themed set of folk rock for the festival. C’est la vie. Article content Tornado Truck It was difficult to choose just one from the more than 10 food trucks scheduled for the festival, but in the end we had to showcase the mobile eatery that serves spiralled and spiced potatoes on a stick. We’re only human. Hiroyuki Koyanagi From 1928-1949, Hiroyuki Koyanagi took about 1,000 photos depicting life in and around Richmond, fishing along B.C.’s coast, patients recovering from tuberculosis in the Tranquille Sanatorium in Kelowna, and the internment of Japanese Canadians. Kevin Takahide Lee has created an installation of printed imagery and documents from Koyanagi that will provide a window into some of the changes in the province over the past 100 years. Recommended from Editorial PNE returns: Sautéed onions, SuperDogs and a Thundervolt of excitement PNE Summer Night Concerts: Colin James plus 6 other can’t-miss shows Bookmark our website and support our journalism: Don’t miss the news you need to know — add VancouverSun.com and TheProvince.com to your bookmarks and sign up for our newsletters here. You can also support our journalism by becoming a digital subscriber: For just $14 a month, you can get unlimited access to The Vancouver Sun, The Province, National Post and 13 other Canadian news sites. Support us by subscribing today: The Vancouver Sun | The Province. Share this article in your social network Source link via The Novum Times

[mysafestplacee]

28.

Hari ini aku udah 28 tahun, aku bekerja sebagai desainer interior di PT Kost Studio secara remote, aku punya pacar namanya Mas Odit a.k.a Ajo. Kami memiliki bisnis bersama, menjalankan bisnis kontraktor berdua.

kami mengerjakan interior design and build, semoga usaha kami sukses ya Allah, barokah juga. Amiin,

ohiya, aku sudah lulus s2 di 2023 kemarin, Aku juga sempat mengunjungi Melbourne dan Jepang di 2023 dan 2024.

[zirhlikuzgun]

January's crew - Page 1

Princess Sara gets rescued

Sara and the Dragon

♀ Sara Westling

❤️ ♂ Jens Westling

[?]

[?]

[?]

January's crew

Austria

?

(Sune's World) [1] {1} ♂ Sune Andersson (a.k.a. January Robinson)

(Linnea in Monet's Garden) [2] {2} ❤️ ♀ Linnea Andersson

[3] [?]

[4] [?]

[5] [?]

?

(Rescue Joppe - Dead or Alive) [6] {3} ♂ Ola Andersson

[7] {4} ❤️ ♀ Sissi Andersson

[8] [10657 newborn friends and play/roommates]

[9] [3130 newborn cousins and siblings]

[10] [3907 newborn babies]

[11] {5} ♀ Sussi Andersson

[12] {6} ❤️ ♂ Ova Andersson

[13] [8975 newborn friends and play/roommates]

[14] [2734 newborn cousins and siblings]

[15] [3518 newborn babies]

[16] {7} ♀ Anna Andersson

[17] {8} ❤️ ♂ Ernst Andersson

[18] [?]

[19] [?]

[20] [?]

?

[21] {9} ♂ Håkan Andersson (a.k.a. Håkan Bråkan)

[22] {10} ❤️ ♀ Ronja Andersson

[23] [?]

[24] [?]

[25] [?]

?

[26] {11} ♀ Isabelle Andersson

[27] {12} ❤️ ♂ Karl Andersson

[28] [?]

[29] [?]

[30] [?]

?

[31] {13} ♂ DJ Sune

[32] {14} ❤️ ♀ Lola Andersson

[33] [?]

[34] [?]

[35] [?]

?

[36] {15} ♂ Opa Andersson

[37] {16} ❤️ ♀ Solveig Andersson

[38] [9872 newborn friends and play/roommates]

[39] [2973 newborn cousins and siblings]

[40] [3697 newborn babies]

[41] {17} ♀ Sif Andersson

[42] {18} ❤️ ♂ Oistein Andersson

[43] [7551 newborn friends and play/roommates]

[44] [2468 newborn cousins and siblings]

[45] [3393 newborn babies]

[46] {19} ♀ Åsa Andersson

[47] {20} ❤️ ♂ Espeo Andersson

[48] [?]

[49] [?]

[50] [?]

?

[51] {21} ♂ Münchel Bråkan

[52] {22} ❤️ ♀ Rafaela Andersson

[53] [?]

[54] [?]

[55] [?]

?

[56] {23} ♀ Ivonna Andersson

[57] {24} ❤️ ♂ Klaes Andersson

[58] [?]

[59] [?]

[60] [?]

?

[61] {25} ♀ Sophie Blixt

[62] {26} ❤️ ♂ Micke Blixt

[63] [?]

[64] [?]

[65] [?]

?

[66] {27} ♂ Pär Blixt

[67] {28} ❤️ ♀ Frida Blixt

[68] [?]

[69] [?]

[70] [?]

?

[71] {29} ♂ Sune Blixt

[72] {30} ❤️ ♀ Julia Blixt

[73] [?]

[74] [?]

[75] [?]

?

[76] {31} ♀ Selma Blixt

[77] {32} ❤️ ♂ Melvin Blixt

[78] [?]

[79] [?]

[80] [?]

?

[81] {33} ♂ Polo Blixt

[82] {34} ❤️ ♀ Flora Blixt

[83] [?]

[84] [?]

[85] [?]

?

[86] {35} ♂ Sandro Blixt

[87] {36} ❤️ ♀ Jean Blixt

[88] [?]

[89] [?]

[90] [?]

?

Julie / Danni / Max / Mille (borrowing the style of Zafir, Life According to Rosa and Sune's World)

[421] {169} ♀ Julie Wright

[422] {170} ❤️ ♂ Mikkel Wright

[423] []

[424] []

[425] []

[426] {171} ♂ Philip Wright

[427] {172} ❤️ ♀ Cecilie Wright

[428] []

[429] []

[430] []

[431] {173} ♀ Trine Wright

[432] {174} ❤️ ♂ Sune Wright

[433] []

[434] []

[435] []

[436] {175} ♀ Lulu Wright

[437] {176} ❤️ ♂ Per Wright

[438] []

[439] []

[440] []

[441] {177} ♀ Jonatha Wright

[442] {178} ❤️ ♂ Malte Wright

[443] []

[444] []

[445] []

[446] {179} ♂ Pierre Wright

[447] {180} ❤️ ♀ Claire Wright

[448] []

[449] []

[450] []

[451] {181} ♀ Teresa Wrigth

[452] {182} ❤️ ♂ Sandro Wright

[453] []

[454] []

[455] []

[456] {183} ♀ Lori Wright

[457] {184} ❤️ ♂ Palle Wright

[458] []

[459] []

[460] []

[461] {185} ♀ Danni Høeg

[462] {186} ❤️ ♂ Sebbe Høeg

[463] []

[464] []

[465] []

[466] {187} ♂ Simon Høeg

[467] {188} ❤️ ♀ Debra Høeg

[468] []

[469] []

[470] []

[471] {189} ♂ Kevin Høeg

[472] {190} ❤️ ♀ Julie Høeg

[473] []

[474] []

[475] []

[476] {191} ♂ Dennis Høeg

[477] {192} ❤️ ♀ Esther Høeg

[478] []

[479] []

[480] []

[481] {193} ♀ Ditte Høeg

[482] {194} ❤️ ♂ Sofus Høeg

[483] []

[484] []

[485] []

[486] {195} ♂ Samson Høeg

[487] {196} ❤️ ♀ Dorte Høeg

[488] []

[489] []

[490] []

[491] {197} ♂ Karsten Høeg

[492] {198} ❤️ ♀ Jytte Høeg

[493] []

[494] []

[495] []

[496] {199} ♂ Dustin Høeg

[497] {200} ❤️ ♀ Erika Høeg

[498] []

[499] []

[500] []

[501] {201} ♂ Max Christiansen

[502] {202} ❤️ ♀ Anna Christiansen

[503] []

[504] []

[505] []

[506] {203} ♀ Esther Christiansen

[507] {204} ❤️ ♂ Sune Christiansen

[508] []

[509] []

[510] []

[511] {205} ♂ Hassan Khalil

[512] {206} ❤️ ♀ Martina Christiansen

[513] []

[514] []

[515] []

[516] {207} ♀ Ofelia Christiansen

[517] {208} ❤️ ♂ Simon Christiansen

[518] []

[519] []

[520] []

[521] {209} ♂ Martin Christiansen

[522] {210} ❤️ ♀ Andrea Christiansen

[523] []

[524] []

[525] []

[526] {211} ♀ Erika Christiansen

[527] {212} ❤️ ♂ Sebbe Christiansen

[528] []

[529] []

[530] []

[531] {213} ♂ Hino Kasim

[532] {214} ❤️ ♀ Melanie Christiansen

[533] []

[534] []

[535] []

[536] {215} ♀ Olivia Christiansen

[537] {216} ❤️ ♂ Shaun Christiansen

[538] []

[539] []

[540] []

[541] {217} ♀ Mille Wright

[542] {218} ❤️ ♂ Tobias Wright

[543] []

[544] []

[545] []

[546] {219} ♂ Tue Wright

[547] {220} ❤️ ♀ Michelle Wright

[548] []

[549] []

[550] []

[551] {221} ♀ Denise Wright

[552] {222} ❤️ ♂ Babi Kajaia

[553] []

[554] []

[555] []

[556] {223} ♀ Alex Wright

[557] {224} ❤️ ♂ Søren Wright

[558] []

[559] []

[560] []

[561] {225} ♀ Martina Wright

[562] {226} ❤️ ♂ Troels Wright

[563] []

[564] []

[565] []

[566] {227} ♂ Torsten Wright

[567] {228} ❤️ ♀ Melissa Wright

[568] []

[569] []

[570] []

[571] {229} ♀ Debbie Wright

[572] {230} ❤️ ♂ Grigol Kasimov

[573] []

[574] []

[575] []

[576] {231} ♀ Aisha Wright

[577] {232} ❤️ ♂ Shaw Wright

[578] []

[579] []

[580] []

Zafir (borrowing the style of Julie / Danni / Max / Mille, Life According to Rosa and Sune's World)

[581] {233} ♀ Anna Vilstrup

[582] {234} ❤️ ♂ Tobias Vilstrup

[583] []

[584] []

[585] []

[586] {235} ♀ Sharbat Vilstrup

[587] {236} ❤️ ♂ Mikkel Vilstrup

[588] []

[589] []

[590] []

[591] {237} ♀ Zafir Vilstrup

[592] {238} ❤️ ♂ Søren Vilstrup

[593] []

[594] []

[595] []

[596] {239} ♂ Jakob Vilstrup

[597] {240} ❤️ ♀ Mille Vilstrup

[598] []

[599] []

[600] []

[601] {241} ♀ Emma Vilstrup

[602] {242} ❤️ ♂ Jacob Vilstrup

[603] []

[604] []

[605] []

[606] {243} ♀ Thea Vilstrup

[607] {244} ❤️ ♂ Flemming Vilstrup

[608] []

[609] []

[610] []

[611] {245} ♂ Rune Vilstrup

[612] {246} ❤️ ♀ Denise Vilstrup

[613] []

[614] []

[615] []

[616] {247} ♀ Line Vilstrup

[617] {248} ❤️ ♂ Martin Vilstrup

[618] []

[619] []

[620] []

[621] {249} ♂ Mahmot Vilstrup

[622] {250} ❤️ ♀ Alexa Vilstrup

[623] []

[624] []

[625] []

[626] {251} ♀ Lena Vilstrup

[627] {252} ❤️ ♂ Sebbe Vilstrup

[628] []

[629] []

[630] []

[631] {253} ♀ Amalie Vilstrup

[632] {254} ❤️ ♂ Tugge Vilstrup

[633] []

[634] []

[635] []

[636] {255} ♀ Sertab Vilstrup

[637] {256} ❤️ ♂ Melvin Vilstrup

[638] []

[639] []

[640] []

[641] {257} ♀ Zara Vilstrup

[642] {258} ❤️ ♂ Samson Vilstrup

[643] []

[644] []

[645] []

[646] {259} ♂ Josef Vilstrup

[647] {260} ❤️ ♀ Martha Vilstrup

[648] []

[649] []

[650] []

[651] {261} ♀ Else Vilstrup

[652] {262} ❤️ ♂ Joel Vilstrup

[653] []

[654] []

[655] []

[656] {263} ♀ Tracy Vilstrup

[657] {264} ❤️ ♂ Felix Vilstrup

[658] []

[659] []

[660] []

[661] {265} ♂ Rene Vilstrup

[662] {266} ❤️ ♀ Diana Vilstrup

[663] []

[664] []

[665] []

[666] {267} ♀ Laura Vilstrup

[667] {268} ❤️ ♂ Mogens Vilstrup

[668] []

[669] []

[670] []

[671] {269} ♂ Mukhadze Vilstrup

[672] {270} ❤️ ♀ Andrea Vilstrup

[673] []

[674] []

[675] []

[676] {271} ♀ Louise Vilstrup

[677] {272} ❤️ ♂ Sean Vilstrup

[678] []

[679] []

[680] []

Life According to Rosa (borrowing the style of Julie / Danni / Max / Julie, Zafir and Sune's World)

[681] {273} ♀ Rosa Nilsson

[682] {274} ❤️ ♂ Ville Nilsson

[683] []

[684] []

[685] []

[686] {275} ♂ Viggo Nilsson

[687] {276} ❤️ ♀ Rachel Nilsson

[688] []

[689] []

[690] []

[691] {277} ♀ Pamela Nilsson

[692] {278} ❤️ ♂ Tobias Nilsson

[693] []

[694] []

[695] []

[696] {279} ♀ Blenda Nilsson

[697] {280} ❤️ ♂ Micke Nilsson

[698] []

[699] []

[700] []

[701] {281} ♀ Martina Nilsson

[702] {282} ❤️ ♂ Max Nilsson

[703] []

[704] []

[705] []

[706] {283} ♀ Jessica Nilsson

[707] {284} ❤️ ♂ Sebbe Nilsson

[708] []

[709] []

[710] []

[711] {285} ♀ Moa Nilsson

[712] {286} ❤️ ♂ Dennis Nilsson

[713] []

[714] []

[715] []

[716] {287} ♂ Magnus Nilsson

[717] {288} ❤️ ♀ Danni Nilsson

[718] []

[719] []

[720] []

[721] {289} ♀ Tina Nilsson

[722] [290} ❤️ ♂ Hasan Nilsson

[723] []

[724] []

[725] []

[726] [291} ♂ Anton Nilsson

[727] [292} ❤️ ♀ Milla Nilsson

[728] []

[729] []

[730] []

[731] {293} ♂ Robby T

[732] {294} ❤️ ♀ Denise Nilsson

[733] []

[734] []

[735] []

[736] {295} ♂ Foppa Nilsson

[737] {296} ❤️ ♀ Alexa Nilsson

[738] []

[739] []

[740] []

[741] {297} ♂ Harry Nilsson

[742] {298} ❤️ ♀ Esther Nilsson

[743] []

[744] []

[745] []

[746] {299} ♀ Leila Nilsson

[747] {300} ❤️ ♂ Kevin Nilsson

[748] []

[749] []

[750] []

[751] {301} ♂ Tompa Nilsson

[752] {302} ❤️ ♀ Ofelia Nilsson

[753] []

[754] []

[755] []

[756] {303} ♂ Amir Nilsson

[757] {304} ❤️ ♀ Zafir Nilsson

[758] []

[759] []

[760] []

[761] {305} ♀ Galadriel Nilsson

[762] {306} ❤️ ♂ Sune Nilsson

[763] []

[764] []

[765] []

[766] {307} ♂ Filip Nilsson

[767] {308} ❤️ ♀ Julia Nilsson

[768] []

[769] []

[770] []

[771] {309} ♀ Klara Nilsson

[772] {310} ❤️ ♂ Per Nilsson

[773] []

[774] []

[775] []

[776] {311} ♀ Emma Nilsson

[777] {312} ❤️ ♂ Håkan Nilsson

[778] []

[779] []

[780] []

[781] {313} ♀ Rita Nilsson

[782] {314} ❤️ ♂ Vincent Nilsson

[783] []

[784] []

[785] []

[786] {315} ♂ Valter Nilsson

[787] {316} ❤️ ♀ Ricka Nilsson

[788] []

[789] []

[790] []

[791] {317} ♀ Petra Nilsson

[792] {318} ❤️ ♂ Tuan Nilsson

[793] []

[794] []

[795] []

[796] {319} ♀ Bella Nilsson

[797] {320} ❤️ ♂ Martin Nilsson

[798] []

[799] []

[800] []

[801] {321} ♀ Melanie Nilsson

[802] {322} ❤️ ♂ Mitch Nilsson

[803] []

[804] []

[805] []

[806] {323} ♀ Justine Nilsson

[807] {324} ❤️ ♂ Sean Nilsson

[808] []

[809] []

[810] []

[811] {325} ♀ Mikaela Nilsson

[812] {326} ❤️ ♂ Damien Nilsson

[813] []

[814] []

[815] []

[816] {327} ♂ Marlon Nilsson

[817] {328} ❤️ ♀ Doris Nilsson

[818] []

[819] []

[820] []

[821] {329} ♀ Tracy Nilsson

[822] {330} ❤️ ♂ Hino Nilsson

[823] []

[824] []

[825] []

[826] {331} ♂ Adolf Nilsson

[827] {332} ❤️ ♀ Matilda Nilsson

[828] []

[829] []

[830] []

[831] {333} ♂ Racer

[832] {334} ❤️ ♀ Debra Nilsson

[833] []

[834] []

[835] []

[836] {335} ♂ Felix Nilsson

[837] {336} ❤️ ♀ Angela Nilsson

[838] []

[839] []

[840] []

[841] {337} ♂ Hilbert Nilsson

[842] {338} ❤️ ♀ Ellen Nilsson

[843] []

[844] []

[845] []

[846] {339} ♀ Lola Nilsson

[847] {340} ❤️ ♂ Klaes Nilsson

[848] []

[849] []

[850] []

[851] {341} ♂ Tofer Nilsson

[852] {342} ❤️ ♀ Olivia Nilsson

[853] []

[854] []

[855] []

[856] {343} ♂ Alfred Nilsson

[857] {344} ❤️ ♀ Zira Nilsson

[858] []

[859] []

[860] []

[861] {345] ♀ Gisela Nilsson

[862] {346} ❤️ ♂ Sandro Nilsson

[863] []

[864] []

[865] []

,,,

[eminsunnytoons123]

Class of 3000:

The new three have came to the Group!

Since I have Drew Sunny And his students, And Salieri And his students, And since I have decided to officialy Open "ask class of 3000 characters" since Aaliyah @ducktoonz903707 it a little earlier, And I have decided to make MY OWN fanmade series like "the muppets Show: Life in the boarding home" so its Called "class of 3000: back to the SING!", Here's now miss mila Lopez, big D And cheddar man a.k.a Charles in my artstyle =^_^=

And this is for all my besties, Sisters, Brothers, pen pals like: @splashy900 @kxllboii @aquamarine-dream-queen @dayzsaclark @oscarandgrinchfan @moshywoosh @ilovescaredysquirrel2 @nuggetaubrey @sharkyy599 @nightkit92 @familyoffood @mysafespaceblog13 @thelazzyblogzz @sugar-miss1 @shrimpathizer @shypeachrunaway @iggyguyy @sayuri-does-skits @typical-sophie @peaceforpeople @ben5569 @itsmyaltaccountforshiitybloglol0 @ducktoonz903707 @artismeyou-12 @blackstar044 @acen402 @diego-r-the-artist-2009 @nia1sworld @rumplestiltsbear @s4gefr0g @beeware-of-lulu @leafith @bluebird-in-a-cagedrawing @muppet-fan-real @thegroovyskull @blo0st4r And my two girlfriends Eli @cheezekennith And @muppet-fan-real And even for my boyfriend red the demon King on discord =^////^=

So, lets first start with some details I gave them:

Number 1, miss mila Lopez - I gave her a bit bigger and longer hair, some details on her shirt, And even a pearl necklace around her neck, And I made her lipstick a bit darker (And ofcourse very different changes since I Drew her in MY artstyle)

Number two, big D - I made his body look more tough-looking, I gave him an Golden earring And an star earring on the top of his ear (zoom in if you cant see it), And I gave him maroon eyelids, And he might be the only class of 3000 character that has different eye color due to the fact that other class of 3000 characters I draw have black or Dark gray eyes, And big D has maroon eye color. Oh! And I gave him maroon colored nails

Number three, Cheddar man "Charles" - I didnt change him too much, but I did gave him another necklace around his neck, And I gave him a few more earrings on his top ear, And I gave him a pansexual flag coloring on his Lower shoulder as you can see

Note 1: this is mila, big D And cheddar man themselves ^////^

Note 2: now the only characters left are principal luna, Mr Yin And Mr Min, And even Mila's students =^_^= And then I can start giving y'all my headcanons for them =^_^=

I hope y'all will like this =^////^= 💛🧡

Another note: And also, please ask some questions, or even dares or tell something to the class of 3000 characters because im desperate And willing to answer them ^////^; And maybe even Aaliyah @ducktoonz903707 can ask 'em some questions or tell them somethin' ^///^

[dininabila]

HAY DUNIA

Wah gilaaaaak, udah berapa tahun gak buka tumblr kuuuu.. Ini disebabkan karna yang namanya Khairun Nisa a.k.a Icha Cemimil d/h Icha Ladycare ngeshare posting-an tumblr nya ke Group WA.

Dan yakkkkkk gue pun ngebaca-baca blog gue dibawah ini yang langsung mikir 'anjir gue dulu nulis kek gitu yak' hahahaha

Blog ini gue tulis pukul 02.55 dimana ini malam minggu dan gue gak bisa tidur karna abis ngopi hufffff, yok mari long story short

Bab 1

Hay guyssssss gue udah nikah sekarang sama laki laki yang gue ceritain dibawah, yaitu ucup a.k.a yusup ngahahaha pacar pertama gue yang gue akuin wakakakk yaAllah gak nyangka omongan adalah doa ye wakkkk beneran nikah tapiiiii kita belum dikaruniai momongan hiks sedih tapi gapapa inshaa Allah nanti akan dikasi hamil ditahun ini AAMIIN YA RABBAL'ALAAMIIN

Tapiiii gue pernah 1x kehilangan si janin diperut, ya gatau ya beneran hamil atau engga. Yang pertama itu tahun 2022 bulan Juni dimana itu abis lebaran, selama bulan puasa full gak ada bolong dan lebaran pun gak haid terus pas setelah libur lebaran dengan kondisi belum juga haid gue sama suami liburan ke Bandung disini mikir kok belum haid pengen testpack tapi takut kecewa dengan garis satu lagi dan gak testpack, terus selama di Bandung kita jalan kaki banyak banget dan pulang ke Bekasi tanggal 29 Mei trus ditanggal 06 Juni bangun tidur perur gue kram yang parah pas berdiri darah mengalir deras dipaha *kaya di film-film* dan gue langsung teriak ke suami gue yang ada dikamar mandi, gue langsung buru buru ke kamar mandi sambil darah berceceran dilantai (masih inget banget kejadian itu😭😭) dan keluar lah gumpalan kaya ati ayam banyak dan besar besar. Hari itu juga kita memutuskan ke obgyn lalu kata obgyn memang ada penebalan dinding rahim dan obgyn bilang kalau masih bleeding banyak harus kita kuret tapi alhamdulillah aman.. Dan yaudah dadaaaah calon dedek bayi

Mariage life that's not easy I was think when we're still pacaran yah, pernikahan kami udah jalan 4 tahun inshaa Allah 5 tahun di Januari 2025 gak kerasa banget yah yaAllah.. semoga pernikahan ini panjang sampe kami punya keturunan sholeh sholehah, cerdas, sehat sempurna aamiin

Alhamdulillah sekarang kami tinggal berdua dirumah yang sederhana tetapi sangat mencukupi, gak besar banget dan gak kecil banget, nanti kita beli rumah kedua ya sayang aamiin hehehe

Bab 2

Alhamdulillah di tahun 2024 ini mamak ayah bang opi kak paca sehat semuanyaaa, sekarang udah ada kak desca bang arip ditambah krucil zahira zivana hilya yang gemoy semuaaaaa, nanti kalian aku kasi tambahan bocah gemoy yah dari rahimku hihi💚

Bab 3

Work lifeeee nih, gue masih kerja di salah satu bank BUMN yaw duh gak kerasa dari 2018 sampe 2024 udah mau 6 tahun guyss bulan september ini

Agak sedih ya soalnya dibulan Januari kemarin gue dipanggil untuk tes promosi eh malah gak lulus. Hmm mungkin memang belum rezeki dan belum waktunya ya untuk naik grade, nanti akan Allah kasi di waktu yang tepat untuk promosi dan bisa balik lagi ke Bekasi biar gak jauh jauh kerja nya hoho

Ihhhh bingung mau bahas apalagi, rumah tangga udah, keluarga udah, kerjaan juga udah.

Next mau share share foto aja deh jadi biar pas buka tumblr masih bisa liat story nya hahahaha

Btw blog ini selesai dipukul 03.21 guysss hahahaha suami gue disebelah gue udah ngorok dari jam 12😆

Byeeeee😘

[shfnlf]

Mimpi #2

Pengen jadi musisi.

Waktu SD gue punya impian pengen jadi musisi. Karena saat itu gue suka banget sama musik, dan kayanya bakat gue emang disana. Dari SD gue udah nyobain nge-band sama temen-temen gue. Kata ibu gue, karena nggak jelas namanya jadi band morat-marit (ben morat-marit a.k.a biar acak-acakan) hahaha. Ternyata bener dah tu, morat-marit beneran.

Gue ngefans banget lah pada saat itu sama T.R.I.A.D, dan band-band lainnya. Genre rock, pop, jazz, bahkan semua genre gua dengerin. Gue suka banget nyanyi, karena dari kecil emang suka nyanyi. Kata ibu gue, dulu pas masih kecil gue hafal banyak lagu anak-anak gitu. Setiap mau berangkat sekolah selalu dengerin radio yang isinya lagu anak-anak (pas masih TK), sampe SD berlalu gue makin suka lagu band gitu. Sesuka itu, gue sering nyanyi, kebetulan lingkungan mendukung. Semua suka musik. Orang tua gue juga suka, bahkan dulu sering karaokean tuh ayah dan ibu gue. Ayah gue pun belikan gue alat-alat musik, mulai dari piano, gitar, mic, sampe disediakan satu ruangan karaoke di rumah yang isinya berbagai kaset karaoke, sound-system, alat-alat musik, dan perlengkapan tempur lainnya.

Gue juga punya teman-teman yang satu minat, bahkan tetangga gue udah jadi bestie sekaligus guru gue buat main gitar dan nyanyi. Karena dia memang anak band yang udah lumayan serius dan sering tampil bahkan udah sempet produksi lagu rekaman. Di samping itu, gue juga suka bikin lagu sendiri, dengan nada yang diciptakan sendiri. Kalo gue seriusin itu, gue yakin banget kalau sekarang ini gue udah jadi musisi. Wkwkwk se-yakin itu, kalau kehidupan gue saat itu nggak berubah. Orangtua gue mendukung, lingkungan mendukung, bahkan dulu sempet punya usaha 'orgen' yang tiap malam minggu latihan di rumah dan suaranya sampe se-kampung denger kali ya. Wkwkwk. Jadi, nggak heran kalau impian gue pengen jadi musisi, kan? Dari latar belakang yang seperti itu.

Kenapa musnah?

Singkat cerita pas masuk SMP, gue memutuskan untuk berhijab. Entah gue nggak tau kenapa kaya tiba-tiba aja gitu pengen mantap dalam berhijab (dapet hidayah kali ya wkwk). Walaupun hijabnya belum syar'i, tapi gue yakin banget buat memutuskan berhijab seumur hidup dari situ. Sebelum gue tau kalau hijab itu wajib (saat itu gue nggak tau). Orang tua gue ya netral aja. Gue mau berhijab atau enggak ya silahkan. Tapi, setiap keputusan gue didukung, alhamdulillah.

ROHIS ternyata mengubah impian gue.

Sekitar kelas 8 gue diajak sama bestie gue saat itu yang mana dia anak Rohis (dia ketuanya btw). Ya gue sih mau-mau aja. Segala sesuatu yang menurut gue positif, gue selalu mau oke gass. Disitu gue ketemu sama kakak-kakak mahasiswa/i yang maa syaa Allah, adem banget dah dilihatnya. Kami belajar Islam dari organisasi ini, sedikit demi sedikit. Sampe akhirnya gue tau kalo hijab itu hukumnya wajib. Disitu gue makin mantap dong untuk berhijab. Gue belajar juga dari kakak-kakak itu gimana cara pakai hijab yang benar (syar'i). Sedikit demi sedikit gue belajar Islam, akhirnya impian gue berubah. Gue gak mau lagi jadi musisi. Gue pengen jadi penghafal al-Qur'an aja.

Karena ambisi bukan lagi tentang dunia, dan saat itu gue ngerasa banyak dosa. Se-simpel gue bermimpi setelah lulus SMP gue masuk pondok pesantren, lalu hafal 30 juz, bisa Bahasa Arab, dan kuliah di Madinah. Se-pendek itu pemikiran gue saat itu hahaa.

Kenapa Madinah? Karena biar deket sama Rasulullah shallallahu 'alaihi wa sallam. Udah mulai sangat religius, bukan?

Lalu bagaimana orang tua gue? Mereka pun mendukung apapun keputusan gue. Entah karena gue yang keras kepala atau mereka yang memang selalu support gue saat itu, ya hahaha.

Pesantren juga berperan mengubah keputusan gue.

Gue memutuskan lanjut SMA di Pondok Pesantren. Rasanya gue dapet angin segar, dari sanalah gue belajar Islam more and more. Gue seneng banget, gue belajar hijrah. Gue kenal orang-orang baru yang positif. Dari sinilah gue dapet informasi lain seputar pendidikan yang itu pun mengubah impian gue dan keputusan gue.

Ketika tau fakta bahwa di Madinah sulit bagi perempuan yang nggak ada mahrom, maka gue menjadikan Mesir (Al-Azhar) sebagai opsi lain. Kali ini, ketika gue menunjukkan ke orang tua gue tentang ini, mereka mulai khawatir rasanya, mulai tidak menunjukkan support-nya. Hehehe. Mereka memberatkan gue, tapi tetap mengizinkan gue untuk mencoba, sampai akhirnya gue ikut tes daftar ke Al-Azhar, berangkat sendiri ke Jakarta, naik bus sendiri, cari penginapan sendiri, sampai pulang sendiri.

Beberapa bulan sebelumnya, gue juga ikut tes di LIPIA, bareng temen-temen gue. Karena LIPIA juga salah satu opsi gue kalau nggak bisa ke luar negeri. Akhirnya, gue nggak keterima baik di LIPIA maupun Al-Azhar. Gue pun daftar ke Al-Ahghaff (Yaman), dan pas mau berangkat tes langsung ditolak sama ayah gue. Hehehe. Disinilah gue ngerasa bener-bener gak disupport lagi.

*Bersambung...

[sokeanshu]

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[thewestern]

Chapter 11

Currently outnumbered five-to-one by salaried employees, The Cowboy just so happened to be the sole paying customer in the place. Although only the two bartenders were technically on the clock. The Mick would have otherwise cut one or both of them, on a slow night such as this, but alas, they were one another’s ride. Louisa and Thadeus Jackson (a.k.a. Thad and Lulu, Leej and Teej, etc.) were twin sister and brother, respectively. They interviewed with Hank in tandem, who was plain tickled by the notion of having a set of twins tending his bar, even if they weren’t identical, which he would have preferred. Hypothesizing that their prenatal telepathy — twintuition, if you will — would elevate their efficiency on even the busiest of shifts, Hank considered their hiring his contribution to service industry science. For this, the Mick told him he was a sick individual, conducting human experiments on his staff like that. You sound like that Nazi doctor, he said. What's-his-name. Meringue.

Christ in Heaven, Kid … there’s some things you just don’t kid about, Hank would reprimand the Mick, whenever he made light of the genocide carried out against his peoples, the Ashkenazi Jews, which was often. 

Tell you what, Hank … if I start spouting off at the mouth about the potato famine or some other Irish bullshit, then by all means, you tell me what’s what. 

Sometimes he felt compelled to remind Hank he was The Mick — not A Mick — and flex his Semitic bona fides, even if he hadn’t seen the inside of a synagogue since Zach Greenberg’s Bat Mitzvah. (The after party for which was Sports-themed.)

As to the twins working well together, Hank was partway right on that score. Perhaps because they shared a shoebox apartment as adults, or a childhood bedroom for years before that likely on account of they once cohabitated a uterus … they did seem to have a heightened awareness of each other, spatially speaking, having spent more than their entire lifetime in close proximity. (The official position of this book is that life does not begin at conception.) And for this being such a small workspace, this was no small thing. Be wherever someone else isn’t — there… most ’s another good rule of thumb for working behind the bar. Thadeus and Louisa followed it instinctively. If she was pouring beers, he was taking orders. If he was closing somebody out, she was washing glasses. That sort of thing. 

So then Hank’s Theory of Twin Bartending was borne out in the sense that they worked with an economy of movement. To say they were model co-workers though, well that would be a fucking separate matter entirely. Hurry up and wait is another maxim that may apply to tending bar. Like most any other job — a proper job anyway (this doesn’t apply to all of you desk jockeys out there … ain’t nobody knows what you’re up to all day) — there are times when it is busy, and times between when it’s busy. During the busy times, you’re running around like hellfire. During the other times, well, there’s a lot of hanging around, waiting for it to get busy again. At an older bar like the New Frontier — a Mature Brand, as one might venture to call it — the times between the busy times get a little bit longer. As an employee, that time is yours to use at your own discretion. Take five. Have a smoke and a Coke as Hank used to say. Now the twins, they used that between time to busy themselves with that which they were simultaneously born to do — push each other’s ever last fucking buttons.

Because boy they could butt heads with the best of them, couple of butt heads that they were. Like a pair of bighorns, except they weren’t at odds for any good reason of natural selection, other than that they were naturally selected — against their wills mind you — to be dizygotic twins. Maybe you reckon that’s reason enough, depending how you get on with your sibling. And if you’re a brother to a sister, especially an older sister, which Louisa was to Thadeus by every part of five minutes, then you know their horns hit just as hard. She was no exception. Rather she was the Rule. In that regard and every other. 

For a fact, of them two, Lulu was the far dirtier fighter — quite often the decisive factor in a knock-down/drag-out type-brawl the likes of which they were predisposed to having. But being how Thad was the little brother, by those five minutes that may have well been five years, he had an intuition about locating her very last nerve and clawing at it like a banjo string. That was the tale of the tape for all their bouts. He started it, but by gosh, you better believe she fucking finished it.  

Observe, as he was presently haranguing her about her technique or lack thereof with a mop: 

Hey, Dummy. How many times do I have to tell you? Figure—fucking—eight. Going back and forth like that ain’t cleaning fuck all. See all that puddling? That’s you taking the stickiness and rearranging it someplace else. Cuidado, piso mojado. White girl can’t mop for shit.

Fuck You, Thadeus. For real. Imagine, for one time in your miserable life, just minding your own goddamn business. Better yet, how’s about you focus your fleeting fucking attention on the receipts, because I’d bet twice my take that you’re over there miscounting our tips again. And here you got the balls to tell me how to do my job … Can’t even do remedial math. Fucking retard. 

No, I’m counting them right. Know how come I know? Because it don’t add up to dick. Hey, here’s a bright idea … Maybe when you stop being such a [he whispered this next word, but intentionally in a way that everyone could hear] C-U-N-T to every hard-on that walks in here, we might could afford to go to the good grocery store, finally. 

Oh yeah? I got a better idea: blow me.

Beside, you of all people know damn well that those Feist Week douchebags are a bunch of deadbeats, to a fucking man. You could personally jerk off every last one of them to completion, and it wouldn’t make a taint hair’s bit of difference. There were at least two hundred of those pussies in and out of here today … Probably couldn’t rub a nickel or a stiff cock between them.

 Never change, Louisa. Always with the mother fucking excuses. And you’re still doing it wrong. Figure-fucking-eight. It’s a naturally recurring phenomenon for a reason. Symbol of cosmic balance and stability. Only number in the Fibonacci Sequence that is a perfect cube. Turn it sideways and signifies the divine infinite. As in you’re taking fucking forever to finish mopping this floor. Blackbeard will find the Eighth Sea before you’re through. Physically applicable to ice skating, rollercoasters and eating pussy. What’s the matter … didn’t they teach you how to hold a mop for your job as a night janitor at the clit-licking factory? Ask nice and I’ll come over there and show you myself. 

First of all, gross. You wouldn’t know a pussy if it bit you on the nose. Goddamn vagina dentata. Tossing dudes’ salads, reciting the alphabet, is what you’re doing.  Secondly, I swear on mom and dad … You take one step closer and I’ll flip you up by your ankles and mop this floor with your thick fucking skull. Third of all, one is a perfect cube, you dunce.

The Jackson twins were Mormon. That was the other thing Hank liked about them. As a devout atheist, he fancied the idea of his bar as a godless asylum for religious refugees, cast out from all creeds. While it’s true that LJ & TJ had somewhat lapsed in their practice as Latter-day Saints, it wasn’t like they were excommunicated — osome fundamentalist freak show. They weren’t products of polygamy. In actuality, it was nothing like that. Their childhood was as normal and loving as the next. Dad was a dentist. Mom was his dental hygienist. They met in college, where she was the varsity soccer captain. (She went on to coach the kids’ teams.) They were all four still very close. Lived in the alphabet, is what you’re doing.  Secondly, I swear on mom and dad … You take one step closer and I’ll flip you up by your ankles and mop this floor with your thick fucking skull. Third of all, one is a perfect cube, you dunce.

Normally the Mick didn’t have any qualms about telling the twins to knock it the fuck off when they got to cussing and carrying on like a pair of knuckleheads in front of the customers, even if tonight there was only the one. But, it was the end of Feist Week and he hadn’t neither the care nor the inclination. Sometimes you had to let them tire themselves out. Anyway, they considered this type of fun and easy banter — a shitty repartee — to be part of the weekly routine. Sunday was their Friday, you see. Meaning they had Monday and Tuesday off. By Wednesday they’d be back to the best of friends. Peacetime would usually last through Thursday evening, maybe midday the following. Saturday at the latest they were right back at t’other’s throats. 

While the twins blew off steam in their colourful way, the Mick was unwinding in his own, with a number-two pencil in his hand, and his face six inches from his brewing log, the latest edition in an infinite volume of marble composition notebooks. There aren’t a lot of hard-and-fast job requirements or best practices for being a brewer, but one would be well served to keep a thorough journal. For jogging down all manner of things — prospective recipes, notes about how this or that batch is progressing, ideas for naming a beer, whatever or what have you. The Mick wasn’t doing anything productive as that, to be sure. Rather you could say he was doodling, but that would be selling him short. Like so many creative types, his talents were almost entirely agnostic of medium. (I’m an artist, said John Lennon. Give me a tuba, and I’ll get you something out of it.) He directed a student film about misadventures in shaving that won an award from the University fine arts department. Played tuba in the West High jazz ensemble, before that. Had garnered nearly universal acclaim from his grammar school teachers for the avant-garde usage of macaroni and other mixed-use media. And for tonight, he was displaying his gifts as an illustrator.    

But this present sketch … It may have just been his masterpiece. 

Hank was gathering his thunder bow, riding bareback at a breakneck pace atop Bertha the bison. Her head had been reattached in Mick’s reimaging. He had also considered taking the artistic license to give her wings — like a pegasus … a winged buffalo — but he made the executive decision to keep her grounded. Bearing down behind them, a neon-basked Doctor Lupus was riding a rocket, in the style of Wile E. Coyote, except crucially this was an authentic Cavness Baumann cruise missile, not your generic Acme-brand firecracker. Hank and Bertha were about to topple off the edge of a cliff. 

Barkeep … Beg your pardon. Could I trouble you for the WIFI password? Assuming that is you got it handy. 

The Cowboy kindly asked Thadeus, who answered in a tone less so. 

Two drink minimum. Two the number. No caps or spaces.  

The Mick glanced over to the Cowboy, accidentally making eye contact. Instinctively he snapped his neck back down to his notebook, but it was too late.

Say, friend. What’re you doodling there? Of course if you don’t mind mine asking. 

Of course the Mick’d clocked that sitting there at the bar beside him was a fully kitted out cowpoke, but he was too damn tired to give it a moment’s thought. Kitty had seen him too, but all she could muster was, well, I must be dreaming. Which would be a welcome diversion. Most nights she didn’t sleep well enough to dream.

Now this dude didn’t look like a cattleman, come to town for to auction off his stock. Rather he looked to be rode hard right off a drive. His hat had the brim turned down all the way round, more like a sombrero than the ones with the brim turned up and all the steamed creases — like the ones worn by a cheesedick country star, or the Mayor’s close personal friend, the U.S. Senator-turned-Interior Secretary. He wore a barn coat like Hildy’s, but one that had spent considerable time in a barn, you could tell. Red bandana hanging alertly around his weather-beaten neck, also red, tanned the color of infertile, rocky dirt. No boots of exotic leather. Just a beat-up pair of square-toed shit-kickers. A real tough customer, he appeared to the Mick to be. 

It’s just a sketch. I wouldn’t know how to explain it exactly. 

I see. So then you say it’s open to interpretation. Hain’t that the best type of art anyways? If it’d oblige you, of course, I’d be delighted to take a gander.

Knock yourself out, Buddy. 

The Mick slid the open notebook over to the Cowboy, who studied at it a moment out of the side of his left eye whilst he completed his beer. 

The Mick took an interest in what folks were drinking, and although the uninitiated couldn’t discern the difference in their amber hues, he could tell that the Cowboy had passed over Rider, Pale, in favor of a pint of Bar Fight IPA. This was the Newfy’s second most popular beer, and the first they ever canned. That was back when craft beer types turned their noses up at the mere suggestion of canning their divine creations. Just as soon they’d serve it from a trough. Glass was the only worthy canvas on which to express their liquid art, was the conventional wisdom. 

It’s true, the way they were snobby about beer, they were just as snobby about the receptacle from whence it cascaded into your face hole. Apart from the fresh tap, only bottles would do, and preferably brown. Again, that’s if you insist on taking it to go. Surely you’d prefer to drink it On Premise, where its freshness can be guaranteed. Also so that it may be served in the appropriate glass. Now what does that even? Look at it this way. They say the eyes are the window to the soul. Well then therefore the glass is the window to your beer. And every beer has its soulmate in drinkware. Tulip, snifter, teku, stange, thistle. No, these are not the names of the seven dwarves or eight reindeers. They are individualized vessels, Born of Flame, calibrated over centuries to the precise contouring for receiving the perfect pour of your chosen beverage. 

Because, nay, there is no such thing as a universal glass. However, if you so happen to be at home, about to enjoy a cold(-but-no-too-cold), refreshing Weissbier (ideal serving temp of forty-four degrees Fahrenheit, or thereabouts), let’s say, but for some reason the bottom tray on your antique bar cart isn’t fully stocked with hefeweizen glasses … Then in this and other unfortunate and avoidable situations, the Classic Pint can in a pinch suffice. And although it would be a futile and potentially offensive exercise to choose the Best Beer Glass … Boy, she is a beaut, isn’t she?

We’re still talking about a standard English pub glass. The Nonic Pint, to be clear. Ne’er to be confused with the bastard Shaker Pint. If you don’t know what a shaker pint is, good. Consider yourself one of the lucky ones. Just don’t ever ask a craft brewer about them unless you’re looking for a fucking earful. This is the Imperial Pint. The Prime Meridian. Elegant, durable, easily stacked. To slug an ale or a porter or a stout from anything else would be sacrosanct. Even the Holy Grail, assuming you could locate the goddamn thing. (It’s in the dishwasher!) Jesus Saves, but Gretzky puts home the rebound. Ah, then, what about the Stanley Cup? Not for all the syrup in Saskatoon, you hoser. 

I can see by your outfit that you are a cowboy, the Mick said to his new drinking companion. 

For all his great many other faults, a pretentious man, Hank was not. Case in point, he had a deep appreciation for the two-piece aluminum can, which he considered to be a modern engineering marvel. And would you believe: it was the legacy of Hildy’s father, who pioneered the use of Al (Aluminium) for beverage containment purposes and designed the can as we know it before his life was cut so cruelly short? If it weren’t for Wilhelm II (Il Duece), conceivably we’d still be drinking out of steel cans, which (one) imparted a metallic aftertaste and (two) were non-recyclable. For a fact, in the same time period before people knew about jogging, the concepts of recycling and by extension littering were also entirely foreign. In those days, when one finished a beer, he or she simply chucked the empty out the car window. (Drunk driving wasn’t yet taboo either. That was one of Hank’s favorite things to reminisce about — getting a little buzz on and going for a ride … Turn the radio up. Roll the windows down. Baby, you can’t beat it. Oh, what’s the worst that could happen? Maybe a cop would ask you politely to pull over and sleep it off. Or even he’d lead you home himself. Fucking pig. Have I committed a crime? Hardly. Hell, it wasn’t even a term … Drunk Driving. It was just Driving, back then. You wouldn’t think to distinguish it as drunk or otherwise.) Driving along Shakedown Street on the way out of a show, Hank’s heart would break at the sight of all the empties strewn about in every which direction, being the tree-hugging type that he was. What can you do? Some people have a deep abiding respect for the natural beauty that was this country. And some people don’t. 

(A lot of people don’t know the origin of the phrase: Don’t Mess With Texas. And honestly, why should they? It’s something only assholes say. Certainly, but did you know that it’s not actually the official motto of the State of Texas? That — quite conversely — is Friendship, likely chosen on account of the name Texas being the gringo-fied interpretation of the Spanish word Tejas, which itself was a cultural mispronunciation of the local Indian tribe's word teyshas or thecas, meaning friends or allies. [Amity, as you know, means friendship.] Don’t Mess With Texas, rather, began as the catchphrase for an anti-littering campaign, devised by the Austin-based advertising agency BDS&M — which specializes in its proprietary practice of Purpose-based Branding — as paid for by the Texas Department of Transportation [TxDot]. In addition to being reproduced on road signs, bumper stickers, t-shirts, untold unlicensed tattoos and the iconic garbage barrels painted in red, white and blue hoops [the Texas tricolore], the tagline anchored a widely seen series of television commercials which aired starting in the middle-eighties, showcasing Texas-born stars of screen [Owen Wilson, Chuck Norris, etc.], stage [Willie Nelson, George Strait, Chamillionaire, etc.] and sport [Andy Pettitte, Lance Armstrong, etc.]. According to official estimates, over a thirteen-year period, DMWT was credited with reducing litter by just shy of seventy-five percent on Lone Star state highways. And if that weren’t reward enough, the maxim was awarded a commemorative plaque on the Madison Avenue Walk of Fame. 

When you think of ad slogans, probably quite a few corporate-branded clauses come to mind. [When’s the Beef, Get Milk, Toe-Sucking Good, Can You Smell Me Now, What Can Brown Do To You, It Just Do, I’m In Love With It, Cereal For Winners, etc.] All of those words were written on behalf of a company to try and sell a product or a service to you, either as an individual consumer or the representative of another company. [Industry professionals distinguish the latter from the former by the acronyms B2B and B2C.] However, maybe you don’t think so much about how many iconic advertising slogans were created by state-sponsored and/or otherwise non-profit entities, not necessarily to encourage a single purchase decision, but instead for the express purpose of influencing ongoing patterns of behavior, in broader service of the Greater Good. There are violence prevention slogans [Take a Bite out of Crime, See Something Say Something], tourism board sirens’ calls [I <3 NY, Virginia is for Lovers, What Happens in Vegas …], monosyllabic mantras against addiction [truth or D.A.R.E.] and perhaps most beloved, nature’s call-to-action, placing the burden of responsibility for warding off natural disaster firmly upon you, ye watcher of Saturday morning cartoons.

Like Don’t Mess With Texas, these slogans are part and parcel of Public Service Announcements. PSAs began in the pre-war period in the United Kingdom and the United States, as a way to encourage support on the homefront for the conflict to come. Sometimes they promoted the taking of specific measures, such as investing in war bonds, growing your own foods [cultivate your victory garden] or straight up enlisting. Others warned against the risk of unwittingly divulging state secrets to enemy agents of espionage, imploring those with access to sensitive information to keep their goddamn mouths shut about it for once in their lives. More often though they aspired simply to boost morale among non-combatant civilians. Namely, women. [Can’t live with ‘em, can’t declare war without ‘em.] Picture Rosie the Riveter, flexing on ‘em hoes. We Can Do It, she said. Or the motivational ‘ism you may now associate with the lady in the adjacent cubicle workstation, where it’s printed on twenty-American pound copy paper beneath a Tudor Crown, for to keep her going until half past six when she can finally pour that first glass of ice cold Pinot Grigio into the corporate retreat-coffee mug because the wine glasses [set of two] are still languishing in the sink from some weeknights’ past by: 

Keep Calm And Carry On.

One of the best Don’t Mess TV spots — the resistance piece, as it’s called in Paris, Texas — opens with two Good ‘Ole Boys driving on down the highway in their piece of shit truck, red dirt country western fiddle music playing on the AM/FM Radio, when suddenly the driver tosses some rubbish out the window. Then, in hot purusuit of the pair of bubbas in the pickup, a military bomber plane appears o’er the horizon. It’s not any piece of shit old airbus either. Of that, you can bet your sweet ass. For a fact, it’s a B-17 Flying Fortress, and a quite famous one to boot, insofar as it’s a fixture at air shows around the country.  Sentimental Journey, as it’s known, so nicknamed after a popular song sung by Doris Day.

Never thought my heart could be so yearning

Why did I decide to roam?

I gotta take this sentimental journey

Sentimental journey home

A different fifties starlet is featured on the nose art of this famous plane. She was the number one pin-up girl of the Second World War, and arguably by extension the most masturbated-to woman on the Planet Earth at one time — the glamorous Miss Betty Grable. [What about Cleopatra, Helen of Troy, Joan of Arc, Aphrodite, Mary Magdalene or Eve, you ask? Were historical-slash-mythological sex symbols cranked off to by the fapping masses?]

Grable was the first ever celebrity to have a part of her body insured as a publicity stunt. Her legs — or gams, or stems … as they may well have been referred to, in the parlance of those times — were covered by a policy valued at One Million US Dollars by the UK insurance marketplace Lloyd’s of London. Subsequent celebrity appendages or otherwise anatomic features to have been since underwritten include: Actress Julia Roberts’ Smile, Musician Dolly Parton’s Bosom, Dancer Fred Astaire’s Feet and Actress-Musician-Dancer Jennifer Lopez’s Gluteus. Although J-Lo has steadfastly denied such speculation as to the appraisal of her posterior. it has been reported to be covered to the tune of three hundred million bucks. [Good luck stuffing that in your G-string!] 

As for Betty Grable, who became known as the Girl with the Million-Dollar Legs, upon reflection on her film career, she said famously: I became a star for two reasons. I’m standing on them.   

In an homage to the barely-latent homoerotic fighter pilot film Top Gun [the whole movie is about buzzing towers], an airman comes over the radio with a request. Ghost Squadron to Ghost Squadron Leader — we’ve got one in sight, he says in his laconic, Chuck Yeager drawl. Let’s make an impression … Over. 

Something to think about if you throw trash on Texas highways, the voice actor now narrates in a twang, that which is considerably less convincing. Somebody up there is gon’ be watchin’ … And you don’t want to mess with the Texas Confederate Air Force. [Since renamed the Commemorative Air Force — the membership determined that the antebellum moniker would be detrimental to fundraising efforts — the CAF exists to restore and exhibit historical planes, not run air raids into Mexico or Oklahoma as the name would suggest. The State of Texas does have an Air National Guard. Notable former members include: the forty-third president of these United States, George W. Bush. His service record, rendered entirely stateside at the height of the American involvement in Southeast Asia, became shrouded in controversy during his campaign for reelection against Democratic Party nominee and more-distinguished military veteran of the conflict in Vietnam, Senator John Kerry of Massachusetts. Bush the Younger scored somewhat modestly on his pilot aptitude test, for one thing, raising questions as to his qualification for gaining admittance into flight school. His father, H.W., was a congressman serving Texas’ fifth district at the time, it should be noted. Also, there was allegedly a rather extended period of time during which the airman’s presence could not be accounted for at mandatory drills, for which the armed services has a word or rather an acronym. Dubya never publicly addressed the controversy, but in his acceptance speech at the Republican National Convention four years prior, the then-Texas Governor did have this to say to the assembled delegation: 

To those who would malign our state for political gain … Don’t Mess With Texas.)    

Ain’t that they say how looks can be deceitful? The cowboy said back to Mick, a quarter-grin rustling up beneath his bristly mustache. 

Beyond being less burdensome on the environment than bottles, cans also made for much more efficient storage, perfectly cylindrical that they are, thus making for more cost-effective means of refrigeration and distribution. Hank would also point out how for purposes of blocking light, aluminum is far superior to glass. (Have you noticed that with some exceptions, most American beers are packaged in brown bottles? Likewise, maybe you’ve drank an imported beer from a green glass bottle. Did it have a skunky taste? Light exposure was the probable culprit. Green, or god forbid clear glass makes beer more susceptible to oxidizing, which is a just fancy way to say turning skunk. Ironically, these inferior green bottles are often associated with more aspirational beer brands. That’s only because green bottles were introduced as a substitute during the nineteen forties, when all the brown glass was reallocated to wartime production for some reason. Only the blue bloodiest of European beerhouses could afford the switch to green, hence the consumer misconception that the color connotes a higher quality, which lingers to this day. As for clear bottles, there are some mass-produced Mexican lagers that still make use of them, but only as a means to showcase their golden color, which shines like the Spanish words for Crown or Sun.) Harmful UV rays are the publicans’ nemeses, Hank would often say. In more ways than one, referring to his contempt for natural light polluting an ale house’s dim ambiance, thus disrupting the shame-based ritual of daytime drinking. Much time as he spent in the Great Outdoors — a great deal of it before the advent of sunscreen (another innovation that came along around the time of jogging, aluminum and the awareness of littering and drunk driving to be social ills) — Hank seemed to hold a stubborn grudge against The Sun. Fair as thin, t’was his skin. 

So anyways, when Hank got a line on a cannery with reasonable enough rates, he signed a purchase order for ten thousand units. Then he got the Mick to draw the label for the first beer, free gratis of course. There was a precious little campfire scene set against a kelly green backdrop — a guacho-type with a guitar, his companeros singing along, beneath a blanket of stars. Above it, in the western-kind of font they’d a used to write WANTED on the poster, was the beer’s dim ambiance, thus disrupting the shame-based ritual of daytime drinking. Much time as he spent in the bottom, the tagline in italicized cursive with calf-roped characters: Take it outside. 

(Hank originally wanted to call it Nature Calls, something he thought to be similarly evocative of a sessionable-slash-crushable ale you might take along camping, or for to hydrate after a pleasure hike. But the Mick objected on the grounds that customers might associate the Nature Calls name with drinking piss. Why don’t we just call it Golden Shower IPA, he suggested in jest. Not a bad idea, Hank thought, unawares of the sex act wherein one party urinates consensually upon his or her partner.)

The Cowboy might could have related personally to that other drawing of the Mick’s, as it appeared on the BFIPA can, having sat around his fair share of cookstoves under a crackling flame. He hadn’t ordered a can though. This was on draft. The sketch he was currently drinking in — of Hank riding the bison with the medical wolf hot on his heels — was more of the surrealism movement. 

Partner, you paint a hell of a picture. Reminds a feller of the Guernicer, if you’re familiar with the life and works of the hombrecito, Señor Pablo. With allusions to the wildlife and the warfare that which I’m referring. But don’t take my word for it. I’m no art critic. Anyhow, what brings you roundabout this way, amigo?

I work here. Actually, we all of us do … Work here. 

Is that a fact? Well, shoot. I figured the handsome couple behind the bar for its keepers, but if I’d known I’d been the only guest I’d have just a soon skedaddled. I truly do hate to impose on your tidying up for closing time. 

Really it’s no bother. But we are about to do Last Call, if you’re thirsty for one more. And LJ and TJ here are twin sister and brother, to be clear. 

You don’t say. I’ll be damned then. I would have bet an entire month’s wage that that was a lovers’ quarrel they were engaged in. I find it’s best to stay out of the romantic affairs of others, so long as they ain’t turned violent. In this case then I can offer how that ain’t no way for a brother to talk to his sister. Or reverse-wise, for that matter. 

Overhearing this, Thadeus offered right back: 

Ayo … Yosemite Sam. What about you mind your fucking business. You heard the Mick … Order up, close out, or hit the bricks, Chief. 

Well, pardon me, buster. I didn’t mean any offense. Just that it weren’t very Christian is all. 

At that, Louisa clarified: 

Hey, asshole. We’re Mormon. What the fuck are you? Besides some hillbilly with a big fucking mouth.

Here Zeke felt compelled to chime in. Always with the impeccable timing. 

I’m sorry for our friends’ unfriendly affects, Sir. It’s just that emotions are running pretty high around here. You see we suffered a recent loss. 

You can shut the fuck up yourself, Zeke. / Oh, suck my fucking dick, Zeke. 

Thadeus and Louisa, respectively speaking, had a special way about them, in which they could rejoin in a two-part harmonious round. Sort of like: Row, Row, Row Your Boat / Merrily, Merrily, Merrily, Merrily. Except with more swears. (Parental Advisory: Explicit Content … Row Your Boat Remix Ft. Two Live Crew.) Part of that ESPtwiN Hank was so keen on. 

Until now, the Mick hadn’t considered that maybe Zeke was on to something, in that the gruesome twosome had been riled up something extra by all the Hank … Stuff. Even considering their lofty standards for lowdown behavior, they had been seeming especially feral today, come to think of. For that matter so had everybody else been acting peculiar. Like how Grace, for example, had been caught twice, tongue-kissing at her place of work. And Zeke’s sensitivities seemed heightened all the more. As for Kitty, she had on that look she got sometimes. Like there were something she so desperately wanted to say, but the words required were just beyond the barbed wire fence of her comprehension.

That’s mighty generous of you, Hoss, but the apologies are all mine. There I go, talking wise again, telling other folks how to act. Like I ain’t a sinner my own self. And here you are in a mourning state to boot. It ain’t right and I’m awful sorry about it. Truly, I am. 

If it pleases, I’d very much like to make up for my bullheadedness. Allow me to buy the saloon a round. One for the road. 

Hearing tell of a free drink, Grace abruptly awoke from her hormonal daze. Leaning over the bar, she reached up to ring the bell, thus notarizing the transaction. 

Hey, Louie. You heard the man. Line ‘em up.

Hey, Grace. As soon as Zeke’s through, you can have a turn licking my hairy balls. 

Louisa fetched six taster glasses with one and a half hands and filled them in one contiguous pour of Bar Fight. It was Newfy policy to do beer shooters whenever some big swinging dick bought the bartenders a round. The Cowboy got a full pint for his trouble and raised it to the Mick. 

Condolences also for your dearly departed friend. I’d say let’s drink to his memory, but I make it a policy of only toasting to present company. By that I mean the living among us. So how about then we hoo-ray to the ar-tiste here. You seem to be the top banana in this outfit. Mick, was it? Or did I catch a The in there? What’s your Christian name, son? If you don’t mind mine asking the one last question. 

Solomon, David Michael. 

Well then here’s to you, Señor Solomon. 

Thadeus tossed his back without breaking eye contact with the Cowboy. It was hard to look tough taking a shot of beer but damned if he wouldn’t try. 

The Cowboy took a long snort, reared back in appreciation, and then took another. It’s a fine ale you fellers brew here. Myself, I'm a habitual tequila drinker. But when somebody makes something — be it a sturdy saddle or a cozy pair of socks or even a tray of piping-hot sourdough biscuits … Well what I’m trying to say is when somebody makes something, and when they know what they’re doing, well you can tell is all. A man can take pride in that. I got one last thing coming for you and then I promise to be out of your curly hair forever. Mister David Michael Solomon. Known alias: The Mick. You’t try. 

The Cowboy reached at his hip pocket, drew a creased yellow envelope, slapped it on the bartop in front of Mick and turned to tip his hat at Kitty. 

Ma’am. 

His boots made a click-thudding sound on the parquet floor as he heel-toed his way out the front door. While it closed behind him, Mayor Mockingbird the Cat slinked back across the waning threshold. 

You sneaky bitch! / That fucking sandbagger!

Just as soon as they’d processed how they’d been duped, Thadeus and Louisa couldn’t hardly wait to express their utter shock and disapproval. 

The Mick meanwhile didn’t move a muscle. Absolute stillness was his way of dealing with situations which unmoored him. 

Kitty thought, well then I must be dreaming after all. And as one does in a dream, she played along, reaching across the bar at the strange document. Subconsciously or not, being the family bookkeeper she felt an obligation to act as the Mick’s proxy in this matter. 

Dear Sir or Madam … Brought to our attention … infringement upon intellectual property … response requested … It’s just a cease and desist letter. Then why did he send a process server disguised as a Cowboy?

Just a C&D? From who though?

It says Compliments of the Law Office of Shanker and Schuster, Esqs., on behalf James Francis Delano and #x_brüing, LLC. 

His middle name is Francis? 

This seems highly irregular, but it’s asking you to issue a formal in-person response. But not at like a deposition or anything. At the brewery. Jamie’s place. And he gave a specific date and time. Tomorrow night, seven pm.  

Cool — nope. 

The Mick had never been to #x_brüing for a visit with his former assistant brewer. There were a great number of places he would rather be. Back to Temple. A Michael McDonald concert. Gone to see Dr. Jackson for a root canal.

Kitty however had a feeling. This was leading somewhere. Maybe no place good, but some place else to be sure. 

Well, come on then, baby. I guess tomorrow night we go to see about Dandy Jim.