#a.k. poetry

[little-lost-starr]

Haven't posted anything in a while ~

19.07.23 // Safe Place

[thoughtkick]

Imagine being with someone where it's enough safe to just talk for hours about your fears and the things you're ashamed of ... Hours of pure vulnerability. And when you look up again and expect the worst, you get kissed instead. imagine ...

A.K. mentor

[perfectfeelings]

Imagine being with someone where it's enough safe to just talk for hours about your fears and the things you're ashamed of ... Hours of pure vulnerability. And when you look up again and expect the worst, you get kissed instead. imagine ...

A.K. mentor

[resqectable]

Imagine being with someone where it's enough safe to just talk for hours about your fears and the things you're ashamed of ... Hours of pure vulnerability. And when you look up again and expect the worst, you get kissed instead. imagine ...

A.K. mentor

[quotefeeling]

Imagine being with someone where it's enough safe to just talk for hours about your fears and the things you're ashamed of ... Hours of pure vulnerability. And when you look up again and expect the worst, you get kissed instead. imagine ...

A.K. mentor

[perfeqt]

Imagine being with someone where it's enough safe to just talk for hours about your fears and the things you're ashamed of ... Hours of pure vulnerability. And when you look up again and expect the worst, you get kissed instead. imagine ...

A.K. mentor

[thepersonalwords]

“Imagine being with someone where it’s enough safe to just talk for hours about your fears and the things you’re ashamed of … Hours of pure vulnerability. And when you look up again and expect the worst, you get kissed instead. imagine …” - A.K. mentor

[surqrised]

Imagine being with someone where it's enough safe to just talk for hours about your fears and the things you're ashamed of ... Hours of pure vulnerability. And when you look up again and expect the worst, you get kissed instead. imagine ...

A.K. mentor

[pan6ual]

Dear You

-Dear You- Dear You,

In the quiet corners of my days, where shadows linger longer than the light, your voice finds me—unexpected, a dissonant chord in the symphony of my now.

Why do you come, after the storm has passed, to walk through the debris of days we left behind? Your presence stirs old ghosts, dancing in the static of my thoughts, a haunting melody that never quite fades.

The past is a relentless echo, a soundtrack scratched deep into the grooves of my mind, playing scenes I've tried to mute. Yet here you are, turning up the volume, asking for an encore I'm not sure I can perform.

You, who once crafted these shadows, now seek to stand in the light with me— why? Is there redemption in your reach? Or is this just another verse in our old song, where dissonance masquerades as harmony?

Trust isn't a switch to flick on at convenience, nor a door that swings wide open at a single knock. It's a slow build, a careful crafting— like a bridge over a chasm deep and dark, each plank laid with trembling hands.

Your invitation is a puzzle, its pieces jagged and cold, and I am here, still trying to warm them in my palms, wondering if they fit, or if they cut.

Understanding this dance of reconnection is a delicate art, a balance I'm learning to strike between the pull of the past and the promise of the future. I am charting a course through uncharted waters, navigating by stars only I seem to see.

Perhaps, in time, our paths might align, finding a rhythm in the wreckage, a new song crafted from the old. But for now, I tread carefully, my steps echoing in the spaces between us.

Yours in cautious contemplation,

Me.

(A.K)

Here's where I recorded myself reading my poetry for TikTok -> https://www.tiktok.com/@behappybeingyou/video/7406369706212461866

Please refrain from taking my words. You couldn't possibly understand the time it has taken for me to feel comfortable enough to share that from my personal experience. Most of you are unaware of what I have gone through. You only focus on the last five years of my life but have never shown enough interest to comprehend all 31 years. To all the people who weren't kind, this one still is not about you. I wrote this about an experience from 18+ years ago. Thank you for taking the time to read my work.

[whenmemoriesfrost]

13 Books

tagged by @sumire-no-nikki, thanks for tagging me! your answers definitely added new books to my tbr :)

1. The last book I read:

the last book i finished was Susanna Clarke's Jonathan Strange and Mr Norrell. it was enormous and engrossing. i haven't had much luck finding something to follow it up with.

2. A book I recommend:

Cuddy by Benjamin Myers!! it's about saint cuthbert, durham, and durham cathedral, told in 4 parts that take place in approx. 600, 1300, 1800 and 2020 AD. it's totally magical, mythological and stunning.

3. A book that I couldn’t put down:

the glutton by A.K. Blakemore is my favourite book i've read so far this year. i was completely captivated by it, the prose was so exquisite, vivid and precise. i think of it constantly.

4. A book that I’ve read twice (or more):

i have re-read one of my all time favourite novels, The Sunken Land Begins to Rise Again, 4 times i think? it's damp, fleshy and weird. i find every sentence to be a total marvel.

5. A book on my TBR:

i have a ton of short story collections on my TBR because i read them so slowly (this is bc i write short fiction so i have to be really focused when i read it) including my final Karen Russell collection St Lucy's Home for Girls Raised by Wolves.

6. A book I’ve put down:

i've had such bad luck lately. I feel like I'm DNFing everything. The Variations by Patrick Langley.

7. A book on my wish list:

ALL of the upcoming releases by my favourite indie publishers <3

8. A favorite book from childhood:

mine is also A Series of Unfortunate Events! I actually think a lot of my current taste was defined by loving these books as a child. I also loved Little Women :)

9. A book you would give to a friend:

Kala by Colin Walsh was a really engaging recent read that I think a lot of people would enjoy. Also the Delivery by Margarita García Robayo for something quick and captivating.

10. A book of poetry or lyrics you own:

I don't read much poetry, so most of the poetry I have is borrowed from friends.

11. A nonfiction book you own:

A Swim in a Pond in the Rain by George Saunders - a book about analysing 19th century Russian short stories.

12. What are you currently reading:

The Manningtree Witches by A.K. Blakemore, which I'm not sure if i'll finish (feels weird bc her other novel The Glutton changed my brain chemistry, but it's just not as strong)

13. What are you planning on reading next:

hmmmm i think the Alternatives by Caoilinn Hughes! long live irish fiction!

I tag some new mutuals @darkacademicc and @medstudiees :)

[libraryleopard]

For the book ask: 8, 10, 17, 25

8. Did you meet any of your reading goals? Which ones?

I don't set a ton of specific reading goals, but I did succeed at reading a lot of poetry this year, which I'm proud of!

10. What was your favorite new release of the year?

I really liked If You Still Recognize Me by Cynthia So, A Power Unbound by Freya Marske, and Bellies by Nicola Dinan. (No, I will not pick one.)

17. Did any books surprise you with how good they were?

I picked up The Office of Historical Corrections by Danielle Evans on a whim because some of my friends studied a short story by that author in a creative writing class a few years ago and LOVED it, what a fantastic and varied and nuanced collection of short stories.

25. What reading goals do you have for next year?

Finish/continue more series, I am terrible at reading sequels but I adored reading the Serpent Gates duology by A.K. Larkwood earlier this year so clearly I need to do that more.

[thoughtkick]

Imagine being with someone where it's enough safe to just talk for hours about your fears and the things you're ashamed of ... Hours of pure vulnerability. And when you look up again and expect the worst, you get kissed instead. imagine ...

A.K. mentor

[perfectfeelings]

Imagine being with someone where it's enough safe to just talk for hours about your fears and the things you're ashamed of ... Hours of pure vulnerability. And when you look up again and expect the worst, you get kissed instead. imagine ...

A.K. mentor

[talonpaw]

@ceph-lol-pog

“the glutton” by a.k. blakemore!

equal parts grotesque and alluring. a fascinating read. the author approaches the story more as myth or folklore than a biography. breathtaking prose. not for the faint of heart, given the subject matter, but if you’re into poetry or dark fiction, i’d seriously recommend it.

[and yes, like any half-decent cannibal, terrare (in the context of this novel) is queer. i originally pointed this out because if there’s any historical basis for this, i haven’t seen it—this aspect of the story caught me off guard. this isn’t the primary appeal of the novel, though, and my intention was not to reduce the novel to “haha, funny gay tarrare”. my bad. ok bye]

lads… it looks like i was exposed to covid 😔 can’t tell if i’m actually feeling any worse or if i’m just psyching myself out because i’m a hypochondriac but either way i’m locking myself in for a couple days

thought about starting the into the wild reread but i found a historical fiction novel about tarrare. (yes, that tarrare.) might read that one for shits and gigs

[little-lost-starr]

I still love him

[perfectquote]

Imagine being with someone where it's enough safe to just talk for hours about your fears and the things you're ashamed of ... Hours of pure vulnerability. And when you look up again and expect the worst, you get kissed instead. imagine ...

A.K. mentor