#a year ago in my senior year of undergrad i picked up a book at the library about chaos theory

[demonicseries]

omg its the desmos graphing calculator

In most universes, Poolverine behaves like an asymptote. Their life trajectories get infinitely closer, gravitating toward each other, but never quite crossing. Destined to inch toward the other, brushing right by, but never truly seeing them.

They live adjacent to each other: as former Weapon X experiments, as "heroes" (or anti-heroes, in Deadpool's case), and as people who have suffered similar trauma. But while they get close enough to recognize each other, they keep moving on their own path. Closer and closer, but never quite they.

Because while they might vaguely know each other, go on occasional missions together, and fight, they never truly intersect. They understand, subconsciously, that they're foils to each other. Warped reflections in the mirror of another path they could've taken.

But while their hands graze when they part, they never intertwine. They never reach out.

Until this universe.

One where Wade sees this Wolverine, grieving and angry and tired, and decides to finally, finally, grab him. To forcefully pull him over the invisible line separating them. To yank Logan onto his trajectory, into his universe.

And so, for the first time, they finally meet. They don't just briefly recognize each other, they grow to truly understand each other. To become so deeply intertwined that their paths merge into one line, one future, one anchor being.

They don't just glance into an abyss that's eerily similar to their own, they dive headfirst into it. They swim to find each other through the murky blackness and cling to each other like a lifetime.

And finally, they aren't alone. They have someone who's on the same path as them. Who understands their suffering. Who matches them in every way that matters. Who sees them and loves them anyway. It's new. It's exhilarating. It's everything.

Because here's the thing: Wade and Logan have always been soulmates. Their stories and trauma have always reflected each other. They've always had undeniable chemistry when put together. They've always been capable of relating to and accepting each other on a deeper level than anyone else.

It's just that this time, they finally recognized it. They didn't continue to live in ignorance, never pushing for more despite the itching part of them that wanted to reach out. They didn't just drift past each other, staying in each other's gravitational pull but never touching.

They broke free of their curse. From being so close to happiness but passing over it. From having their soulmate be right beside them and never turning to just look.

Their paths finally crossed, even if fate itself seemed to push them apart. Even if the odds were impossible. Even if Logan came from another universe. Even if they both tried to sacrifice themselves only to miraculously survive atomic disintegration. Just because they had each other.

Their trajectories finally combined.

[pangolinheart]

I was tagged by @irisopranta so here's a little trivia!

Share your wallpaper: It's... just the default MSI wallpaper (I have commitment issues lol.) I could probably use a screenshot or a commission of a suitable dimensions, but meeehhhhh.

My mobile wallpaper is this Dragon Age Tarot-style commission from @needapotion

I've been thinking about changing it, but I'm not sure to what.

The last song you listened to: The Sharpest Lives by My Chemical Romance (I mostly listen to music while driving. Shockingly this song is not on any of my many playlists)

Currently reading: Uuuuhhhh I don't read as much as I should, but when I do I've been bouncing between: The Death and Life of Schneider Wrack by Nate Crowley, which I really enjoy but have been trying to finish for like a year and half (it's not long i'm just lazy). An inventive nautical zombie romp with a dash of social commentary.

Asian Ghost Short Stories: An Anthology of New and Classic Tales. The intersection of folklore, horror, and culture was the topic of both of my undergrad senior papers, though they mostly focused on Japan. I've already read most of the traditional Japanese stories in this book, but I don't know very much about ghosts in other Asian Countries, so it's been an interesting read! I was also drawn to it because it contains translations of new short horror stories by unpublished Asian authors. The Black Bestiary: A Phantasmagoria of Monsters and Myths from the Phillipines by Budjette Tan (Author), David Hontiveros, Kajo Baldisimo (Illustrator), and Bow Guerrero  (Illustrator). See above. This book is really interesting, because it's an illustrated compedium of myths and monsters, but the entries are written from the perspective of modern-day monster hunters recording their experiences in a journal. Apparently it's a sequel to a book called The Lost Journal of Alejandro Pardo, which I'll have to pick up sometime. The art is very cool. One of the illustrators, Kajo Baldisimo, is the main illustrator of a comic series called Trese that semi-recently received an animated adaptation with audio available in both English and Tagalog. I've been meaning to consume both of these at some point as well.

Last Movie: Uuuuuhhhhhh.... I'm not much of a movie person, so I don't really remember, but I guess maybe Dune?

Craving: Curry and rice (I'll make some the next time everyone else is out of the house >_>)

What are you wearing right now? Black leggings and a sweatshirt with the word "Catnip" over a collage of images of cats and slogans like "Cheap Thrills" in the style of an old-school Reefer Madness poster.

How tall are you: 5'4 (164.56 cm) (People always say "I thought you were taller!" Including someone i worked with in-person for more than a month-and-a-half.)

Piercings: Just the boring regular ear piercings.

Tattoos: None, sadly. See: fear of commitment

Glasses? Contacts? Neither.

Last drink: Ice water (I'm trying to drink more water, but I'd rather gargle metal shavings than drink room-temperature water.)

Last show: Hmm this one was also a while ago. I think it was Dragon Age: Absolution.

Last thing you ate: Pork roast (bleh) and potatoes for dinner.

Favorite color: This is a cop-out but I like lots of colors. I guess maybe green, orange or red? But I also like white, black, most shades of blue (navy can get fucked), purple, yellow, pink, silver/gray, etc.

Current obsession: FFXIV

Unrelated obsession: Dice! I love hand-made ttrpg dice sets! They're so pretty and unique! Sadly, not playing in any actual games has not put a damper on my bankruptcy-inducing dice habit.

Any pets: Two cats (Hansel and Gretel) and a dog (Isabella).

Do you have a crush on anyone? Nah.

Favorite fictional character: This one is really hard... There are probably so many I'm forgetting. The Justice of Toren/Breq from the Imperial Radch series, Matthew Swift from the Matthew Swift series, Alistair from DA:O, Anders, Fenris, and Isabela from DA2. Garrus from Mass Effect. Esteem from FFXIV, Alisaie from FFXIV (though I also really like Haurchefant, Y'shtola, Hilda, Ysayle, and Fordola.)

Honorable mentions to the characters I used to have keychains of on my pen case (I would try to encourage shier, nerdier students to talk to me by watching/playing things that were popular with high schoolers and putting my favorite character from the media on my pen case, which students would get very excited about): Chuuya from Bungo Stray Dogs, Childe from Genshin Impact, and Cu Chulainn from various Fate-related media.

The last place you traveled: Uhhhh I guess my last major trip was to... here (America)! My last "vacation" was to Sapporo (that was right before the pandemic.) I do occasionally take shorter day trips to towns around my area, but the furthest afield I've been recently is Grand Marais in the Upper Peninsula of Michigan.

I will be in Las Vegas for the FFXIV Fan Expo this summer though!

Tagging: I think everyone I interact with has already been tagged in this, but if you haven't done it and want to here is your unofficial tag!

[argylemnwrites]

Settled

Pairing: Bryce Lahela x MC (Cassie Vanderfield); Roomies (+ Bryce and Rafael) friendship also featured

Book: Open Heart (~5 weeks post book 2)

Word Count: ~1400

Rating: PG-13 (rare language)

Summary: A long standing bet is about to be settled.

Author’s Note: Inspiration for this piece comes from a real experience in my undergrad dorm. It also works as a loose follow up to my pieces “Enough” and “Some Definition.” Also written for Day 28 of the @choicesfebchallenge - Closure.

Bryce felt his eyes getting heavy in spite of the early hour and the movie playing across the room. He had just come off a night float block, serving both as the senior resident overnight for the three gen surg wards and completing any ED surgical consults that came in from 5 pm to 7 am. Even though he’d only had to work 18 shifts over the past 28 days, each shift had been frantic, often with barely enough down time to inhale a sandwich. On top of that, he’d basically hadn’t gotten a chance to see the inside of the OR at all. The senior carrying the trauma pager usually got all the overnight cases, since there weren’t many non-traumas that went to the OR in the middle of the night. For the few remaining cases, unless it was a particularly complex case, the attendings usually prioritized letting the interns covering the wards overnight gain some experience. As an intern, Bryce had loved that culture in Edenbrook, but now that he was on the other side, he felt a bit jealous, even if he knew it wasn’t fair.

He was just kind of burnt out, if he had to put a label on things. He’d felt more like an internal med resident for most of the block, something Cassie had teased him about endlessly. But he just didn’t find the work as rewarding as actually operating, the shifts were exhausting, and now, almost a full week off of that block, he was still working to adjust his sleep schedule back to days. Hence him falling asleep in the middle of an action movie at Cassie’s with her roommates and Raf at 6 pm.

“Is he out?” he heard Sienna hiss out, obviously whispering in case he was asleep, forgetting that fact that her voice was far quieter than the explosions currently happening on screen.

“No, he’s not,” Bryce whispered back, drawing a chuckle and a little elbow nudge from Cassie. He dragged his eyes back open to find her turned to face him on the sectional, so he gave her a little grin before he dropped his head to her shoulder and closed his eyes again. “But he might be soon.”

“Seriously?” asked Raf, his voice drifting up from the floor where he and Aurora were lounging in front of the coffee table. “I didn’t think you’d be one to sleep through the latest Tommy Phelps blockbuster.”

“Lahela is a little baby who is still whining about the fact that he was on nights a week ago.” Jackie’s voice was the next one to fill the room. “Or maybe he has the right idea and is done with this dumb garbage. Why did I get up early for this again?”

“Because we only have one year left where we are all going to be in Boston for sure, and times where we are all off for a movie are rare!” Sienna cried out. Bryce felt Cassie shift slightly, presumably reaching over to hold Sienna’s hand or rub her back, but she didn’t move so much that his head was more than slightly jostled on her shoulder.

“Yeah, but that doesn’t mean we had to watch this. Elijah, you don’t get to pick for movie night ever again.” Jackie added.

“Hey, I know my selections aren’t always the most popular, but this wasn’t me!”

“Alright, then who is responsi-”

“It was my pick,” said Aurora. Bryce squinted an eye open at that, glancing down to Aurora, who had twisted around to face Jackie. “What can I say? Sometimes I just need to turn my brain off and watch some shlock.”

“It’s better with a beer,” Raf said with a shrug, before lifting his bottle to his lips and taking a drink. 

“Well, I have to head in for a shift in a couple of hours, so that’s not an option for me,” Jackie said, “so I might have to take a page out of Bryce’s book and just nap.”

Bryce swung his foot towards her as he let his eyes close again, nudging her shin. “Shut up, Varma.”

“What? I’m not mocking you.”

“Sure.”

“I mean, there is plenty for me to mock you for always, but right now I’m not. Avoiding this movie and using Cassie as a pillow is one of your smarter choices.”

“I’m not using her as a human pillow. This is just part of boyfriend privileges, right Cass?”

“Absolutely,” Cassie said, but the room got suddenly very quiet as the explosions and gunfire came to an abrupt halt.

“Why’d you pause the movie?” asked Cassie, but no one answered her. Instead, Aurora asked a different question.

“Elijah, you still got the calendar?”

“Yup, lemme pull it up. I’m pretty sure everyone’s date has already passed, though.”

“What are you guys talking about?”

The room was silent for a few moments, so Bryce opened his eyes and dragged his head off of Cassie’s shoulder, glancing around the room and taking in everyone aggressively avoiding eye contact with him and Cassie. “Seriously, what’s going on?” 

“Oh, for fuck’s sake, it’s not that bid a deal,” Jackie said with an eye roll. “We had a bet on when you guys would officially be together.”

It took Bryce a couple of seconds to process what she’d said. “Wait, seriously?” he asked with a chuckle.

“It was Elijah’s who organized it,” said Raf, earning him a pillow in the face from Elijah.

“Hey, man!”

“What, it’s the truth?”

“When did you guys start this?” Cassie asked. She was twisting her fingers over each other in her lap, so Bryce slid his right hand in between hers, tugging her left hand over into his lap.

“Elijah took my bet the day after the Hopeful Hearts Gala,” said Aurora, “and I think I was the first one to pick a date. After Elijah, obviously.”

“Wait, this has been going on for months?” Bryce asked.

“Well, you two have been all over each other for years,” said Jackie.

“And you were all in on this? Even you, Sienna?” asked Cassie as she glanced around the room from person to person.

Bryce leaned forward to peer around Cassie. Sienna cheeks were flushed, but she didn’t shy away from looking at the two of them.

“I mean, I was rooting for you two! Plus, Elijah had a PowerPoint which made it all feel so official! And, I don’t know, we’ve all been waiting for you guys to-”

“What she means is we’ve all had to put up with your obnoxious flirting for far too long to not have a bit of fun,” Jackie said, cutting off Sienna’s ramble. However, one thing Sienna said stuck out to him, and apparently to Cassie.

“Elijah, you made a PowerPoint?” she asked, her free hand coming up to her cheek.

It was Elijah’s turn to have his cheeks darken, but he just gave a little shrug. “Like Jackie said, this has been a long time coming. And I was bored in allergy clinic.”

“It was quite the presentation,” said Raf.

“Yeah, we’re gonna need to see that,” added Bryce, shooting Cassie a wink as she shook her head lightly.

“I don’t know if I still have it.” Elijah answered just a little too quickly, making Bryce think he very much did still have it and had no intention of showing it to them. But before he could push him on that, Jackie asked Elijah another question.

“So, quit stalling. Who’s the winner?”

Elijah just shook his head. “Like I said, we all lost. Brittany was the last date, and even hers passed last month.”

“Wait, you got the gen surg residents involved in this as well?” Bryce asked.

“We’ve all been subjected to your prolonged and public teasing,” said Jackie, raising an eyebrow as if daring him to fight her on that statement.

“I mean, I know we’re a good looking couple, but this level of fascination is beyond what even I could have expected.” Bryce’s statement drew groans from almost everyone in the room and pillows chucked at him by Raf, Aurora, and Jackie, but all he could do was squeeze Cassie’s hand before snuggling up against her again, settling in for the end of the movie… and likely a little nap. Their friends could tease them all they wanted. They were happy, and that was all that really mattered.

Permatag: @choicesficwriterscreations @walkerswhiskeygirl  @octobereighth  @kimmiedoo5  @mom2000aggie

Open Heart: @mskaneko @omgjasminesimone @debramcg1106

Bryce x MC: @lahellacute @weaving-in-words  @anotherbeingsworld  @chaotichuman0090 @fortunatelywaywardsandwich   @dreaming-of-movies  @choicesarehard  @srta-give-me-my-jax-rl  @sunnyxdazed​

[stardustkenobi]

Only Lookin’ At You

Poe Dameron x Reader

Request: “HEY BITCH I N E E D 90 FROM THE PROMPT LIST WITH MY HUSBAND THANKS IN ADVANCE” @niffleurs​ she’s here

Warnings: fluffity fluff fluff

“To the women who will always be bridesmaids” Sophia said, her alcohol induced vibrato and grandeur hiding the fact that yes, she was very bitter that her boyfriend of ten years still had not popped the question.

Along with the other six bridesmaids, you rose your glass of champagne and clinked it with each one. Hannah, your best friend in the whole entire universe, was finally getting married — the third of your friends to get married in the past couple of years.

Undergrad was a long ways away as you took a hefty sip of your drink, eying the rest of the women that shared the same silk colored robes as you in the back room that you had been shooed off to to prepare to walk down the aisle. You picked at the monogram on the left side of your chest, letting out a subtle sigh. It was definitely difficult to understand Sophia’s frustration, considering the fact that your twenties had been plagued with bad hookups, one nasty relationship that was on again, off again for the better part of three years that ended in a crescendo of yelling, thrown insults, and tears of relief when you finally left the apartment, and disappointment.

Most of the movies and love songs and books that carried you to the oh so disappointing age of 32 had convinced you that you would find that one special person by now and you weren’t necessarily worried about it, but days like today punctuated the fact that it just hadn’t happened yet.

Shrugging your shoulders, you joined your friends as they began the mindless process of getting ready for wedding party pictures and the eventual arrival of the bride to be. Your hair was braided and twisted into the style that Hannah had meticulously picked out for you. Your lashes were plucked and your face was painted before Sophia was pulling you to the mirror. Between her and Hannah’s twin sister, you were finally placed into the gown that effectively made you a member of your sorry group of seven always a bridesmaids.

“You look amazing.” Sophia beamed as she flattened out the waistline of the gown.

Giving her a grimace in the mirror, you picked out little parts of the get up that irritated you. Were you complaining about your inclusion in the wedding party? Absolutely not — Hannah was practically a sister to you and her fiancé was one of the kindest souls that you had ever met. It wasn’t their fault that you had hoped you would have been the next of your girlfriends to be decked out in white and kissings the love of your life in front of what seemed to be the entire world to show that he was yours and you were his.

“Time for pictures!” A voice dragged you from your dreamlike trance in front of the mirror and with a push from Sophia and a bouquet slapped into your hands, you were off to the front lawn of the wedding venue to take pictures with the groomsmen.

The seven groomsmen were a mix of people you knew at varying degrees. Some were friends of the groom that you knew from college, others were childhood friends, a few were coworkers.

The groomsman that you were introduced to at the rehearsal as the man who would walk you to the altar less than twenty four hours ago was a man named Poe. He worked with Hannah’s fiancé — the two had climbed the corporate ladder of the marketing agency they had started out in fresh from senior year of college and, almost ten years later, they were practically running the place.

Poe had been mentioned time and time again by Hannah, who absolutely loved to play match maker. She was convinced that you would fall in love with him and be it your stubborn nature or the fact that you were becoming absolutely obsessed with the fact that you hadn’t found the one yet, you froze up the minute he introduced himself to you as you hung around the edges of the altar waiting for instructions.

He was indescribably handsome and from what you knew he was smart. However, the cynic in you questioned whether he would even be interested. Sure, he was single and just about your age, but for one thing, you certainly hadn’t had the best track record with relationships over the past fifteen years. What would make trying with him any different? And why would he even glance your way unless Hannah had put ideas in his head already?

You were unsure of what you wanted, both in life and in a partner and as much as you wanted to explore that, you were afraid to get hurt again.

So there you stood, chatting half heartedly with your girlfriends as thoughts of perpetual loneliness swirled around your brain. They most definitely were not welcomed thoughts, but you were having a significantly hard time quelling them, particularly as you glanced over at Poe who was somehow even more handsome in the standard tux all of the groomsmen wore. Your chest squeezed as you watched him goof around with his friends in front of the camera, becoming more and more attractive by the second.

“You think he’s cute, don’t you?” Hannah’s twin teased by your ear after the photographer had finished up with the guys. Of course Hannah had said something to her – this was Hannah for God’s sake.

“Shut up, Margo.” You hissed as the photographer approached your group to take pictures. “I don’t even know him.”

Marge smirked as the seven of you squeezed together, smushed up for a series of photos that ranged from serious to goofy. “He’s been watching you since you walked into rehearsal last night with every opportunity he has to.” She said plainly, turning to stand back to back with you as Sophia suggested some ridiculous pose that made some of the other girls laugh.

“Don’t put ideas in my head.” You said through a forced smile, voice an octave higher than normal.

She snorted, elbowing you teasingly. “Take a look yourself when you get a chance, why don’t you?” She said in a sing songy voice, then left to stand somewhere else at the direction of the photographer.

Your eyebrows furrowed together as the camera continued to snap away. Letting your eyes trail over to the group of guys standing a little ways off, sure enough, you met a pair of soft, brown irises that flickered away almost as quickly as you had made eye contact.

“Maid of honor and best man? Can I have you both over here for some photos, please?” The photographer said quickly, trying to adhere to the strict schedule of the day.

Margo shoved you forward to meet Poe — of course he was the best man because this was all a stupid, cliché little joke that fate was playing on you. Of course you’d have to be on his arm for the next two hours until you could finally break free at the reception, which would give you just enough time to formulate some dumb fantasy about how you’d catch Hannah’s bouquet and he’d catch her garter and your eyes would meet from across the room knowingly and he’d slip you his number on the back of his place card and it would all be just like the YA novels you used to read under your covers well past your bed time in high school and he’d —

“You good, Y/N?” Poe asked softly, hands in his pockets as he walked up to you and effectively pulled you out of your stream of consciousness.

Your knees were weak as you glanced up at him, nodding shyly. “I’m good.” You promised. “Just nerves, I think.”

He smiled, holding his arm out as the photographer directed. “You seemed a little nervous last night, too.” He said as he smiled, posing with you as the photographer began to take your pictures. Glancing down, he pushed a curl out of your eyes. “Hope it’s nothing I did.”

Your smile was soft as you chanced a quick little peek up at him. Yep, still gorgeous. “It’s not you at all.” You giggled as the flash and click of the camera caught the less than staged moment. “I think it’s just the heels, if I’m being honest. Hannah went with ones that are just way too high and I might face plant at some point if I’m not careful.”

He laughed softly, shaking his head as his eyes squeezed shut. Another snap of the camera. “She and Jack always said that you were funny, I’ll never get why they didn’t introduce us sooner.”

Your eyes rolled as you snorted, letting your bouquet hang at your side. “Of course she’s talked about me.” You said as you turned to the side a bit at the photographer’s request. “I’m sorry if she’s made you listen to stories about me at nauseum, she’s hell bent on setting all of her friends up and I totally get it if you’re, like, weirded out by being stuck with me today.”

Poe’s head tilted to the side as he studied you, taking your free hand at the photographer’s insistence. Snap — another sincere moment caught on camera, another piece of evidence for you to ruminate over when the photos finally came into your inbox months down the line when the fire in your belly had been doused and forgotten. Another photo to ignite that flame again and make you wonder if it ever could have worked. So many should’ve, could’ve, would’ves would more likely than not be plaguing your subconsciousness. “I actually asked about you when I saw that post of you and Hannah, Jack, and Margo at Governor’s Ball two summers ago. She never brought you up beforehand.”

Your mouth opened and closed as you searched for the words to respond, more likely than not looking like a fish. You willed your mind to say something, anything to counter this information as Margo yelled to you and your counterpart that it was time to get ready to process into the small chapel on the property the wedding was being held at.

“Guess that’s us.” Poe said with an almost shit eating grin, holding his arm out for you. “We can talk more about things later, if you’d like.”

You took his arm after a moment, not necessarily hesitating because you were afraid to touch him, but more so because you were afraid to mess up this delicate situation that mirrored so many action movies where the main protagonist debated whether or not to cut the red or blue wire to diffuse some sort of detonator. “I’d like that.” You finally said, choosing the lamest and subsequently safest response that you could muster.

The wedding went off without a hitch. Hannah and Jack were undeniably the cutest couple you had ever seen as they shakily exchanged vows they had written for each other in the dead of the over the past year, edits meticulously made and different word choices tested. Their kiss brought you to tears and the whole ceremony pulled you out of your own selfish thoughts for a little bit in the most relieving way possible.

You were sat on Hannah’s left, Poe was on Jack’s left, at the long table at the front of the ballroom the reception was being held in. Poe had finished his speech right after yours, receiving as many laughs as you had. When the bride and groom finally moved to the dance floor, Poe was immediately at your side, chatting your ear off eagerly as the two of you watched people spin around the dance floor for the better part of an hour.

“So,” Poe said after your fit of giggles from a joke he had cracked had died down. A slow song was just starting to play over the speakers. “You don’t have a date, I don’t have a date. They’re playing that cheesy ass Taylor Swift song that everyone’s been having their first dance to at their weddings and neither of us have had any excuse to get up and dance tonight…”

Your cheeks flushed and you hoped it would come across as being a result from the flute of champagne you had downed. “Are you asking me to dance?” “I’m not saying that we should go dance.”

“I think you’re asking me to dance.” You whispered teasingly, leaning forward with a knowing smile. “Lucky for you, if you weren’t asking me to dance, I’m going to have to pass. I don’t dance.”

He quirked an eyebrow, tilting his head. “You don’t like to dance?”

“No.” You backtracked. “I love dancing, just…Not in front of a ton of people.” Your grin was sheepish as you shrugged, picking at a piece of link on the skirt of your gown. “Too many opportunities to slip up and look — what are you doing?”

Poe’s hand was gripping yours and, as much as your mind screamed at you to not follow him out to what could be a potentially embarrassing situation caught on camera for generations of Hannah and Jack’s family to see, you allowed yourself to be pulled out to a quieter corner of the wooden dance floor and pulled to the chest of a man that, despite knowing him for just a day and really only talking to him for an hour, felt more familiar to you than any other man you had met before.

“Pretend that there is no one else here but us” He said softly, his hands finding your waist as Taylor crooned about a love that was three summers strong. “I won’t let you fall, promise. Eyes on me, okay?”

You nodded, totally dumbfounded as you started to sway with Poe and swallowed the lump threatening to rise in your throat. Your shaky hands rose to wrap around the back of his neck, subconsciously playing with the ends of his hair.

The conversation continued to flow quietly as the song reached the second chorus and by the bridge, his forehead was pressed to yours in the most tender of ways that erased any doubt in your mind that he had spent the first part of his night with you simply out of obligation to his friends.

You didn’t catch the glances shared between Margo, Hannah, and Jack a little ways off. You didn’t see how the whispered excitedly about how their plans were finally coming to fruition and how their stubborn friend was finally letting her guard down again for someone who wouldn’t take advantage of the vulnerability. Shit, you wouldn’t have cared if you saw or heard because of the way Poe was currently looking at you.

His words were filled with hope for the future and at the end of the night as you all trudged off to go your separate ways to get back to the hotel you all were staying at, the jacket of his tux was draped around your shoulders and your phone buzzed with text after text from him as you climbed into the car with Margo and Sophia.

You hadn’t caught Hannah’s bouquet or garter, Margo and Sophia both chided from the front of the car.

You smiled to yourself as your head hit the headrest on your seat. No you hadn’t — you had been too busy dancing with Poe in the gardens just outside the all glass doors to even notice it happening.

[bhvgat]

hi angels !! i’m cami and i realized that the name elliot is usually spelled with two ls after i wrote his bio and applied so we’re just never gonna talk abt that <3 but i’m very excited to be here & plot with u all, info abt eli under the cut !!

dev patel, cis man, he/him    —    whenever i see elliot bhagat meandering down agnes street the adults are talking by the strokes starts to play inside my head. maybe it is the vibe they give off. a cup of hot coffee with just a touch of oat milk, a soft smile in the early morning light, a brief case filed with meticulous notes and a perfectly fitted suit ;   you know ? the roundabout is what keeps them interested in agnes. i heard they are a  thirty two year old environmental lawyer. they look like the kind of person who always tips well.

BIOGRAPHY.

eliot grew up curious about the world around him. his parents immigrated to boston four years before he was born, and by the time he came along they were the proud owners of a successful restaurant. he spent his childhood questioning any customers he could about their lives, the regulars all knew him well. he wanted to know about people, what made them tick. each person’s story gave him a new idea for what he wanted to do with his life. while his parents expected a lot of him, the burden was lessened by being the youngest of three. he could have any dream he wanted so long as it was practical and lucrative. 

by the time he reached middle school the many dreams had solidified under one central tenet, he wanted to make the world a better place. he was the kind of kid who watched the discovery channel and then came to school the next day ready to tell everyone about the latest environmental issue. his passions were wide and strong.

by the time he reached high school it was clear that he was more than a little bit of a hopeless romantic. with each relationship he found himself in he swore he had found his soulmate, burning mix cds and pouring his heart out in journal entries. while he was falling in and out of love over and over again he settled on what he wanted to do with his life, becoming a senator was his goal. a real way to bring change to the world.

his dream led him to university and then to law school. he was always an excellent student, quick witted and well read. school had felt like a sort of dream to eliot, the ivy and stone beautiful enough for his romantic tendencies to thrive and the relief of being surrounded by like minded people was equally engaging. 

he graduated top of his class and was quickly receiving offers from multiple prestigious law firms. he still knew what he wanted to do with his life, but a few years of work first seemed like an ok place to start. as time passed however, he found it particularly draining. he had always wanted to make the world a better place, but what he was doing was far from that.

then he fell in love. not that he hadn’t before, but this one gave him a certainty that it was going to last forever. so a year in he was picking out a ring ( an antique emerald surrounded by ethically mined diamonds ), and a year after that and a month before his wedding when he returned home from work to find a note on the table. she wasn’t ready, she couldn’t do it, their love simply wasn't strong enough. 

that’s when he heard about an opening at a smaller environmental law firm in ilsesbury. sure, it wasn’t quite as high paying as his old job and he still wasn’t anywhere near running for office, but at least he’d be saving the planet. plus the thought of ever having to run into his ex made getting out of town an appealing option. so almost three months ago he packed up his things and moved to the city and taking the job and a small apartment with a view of the water, with a heart that’s just a little less open to love. 

HEADCANONS.

eliot loves cooking and food. he doesn’t always have time to cook for himself as he’s very career oriented, however when he does he savours it. it reminds him of his childhood, growing up in the restaurant. also he was raised vegetarian and became vegan in university. 

he’s an avid journaler and has been for most of his life. he has a pile of old journals on his book shelf.

has always wanted to be a dad, he’s always wanted to get married and settle down and have kids, but each year he gets older that dream feels further away.

tends to live below his actual means, is very frugal. his parents instilled that in him and his siblings growing up, and it’s a trait he very much still possess. he’ll splurge on things like clothes enough to make sure he’s well dressed ( especially for work ) and going out for dinner or coffee. he’s a big tipper, having been a waiter himself through all of high school and his first few university summers in his parents restaurant. but his apartment is tiny, and apart from plants the furnishing is pretty basic.

as sweet as he can be he can also be very very stubborn. once he makes up his mind about something it’s rare that he’ll change it.

volunteers a lot, is constantly looking for ways to help out around the community. 

he has a mostly positive relationship with his parents and his siblings. while they did have high expectations for their children,they primarily just wanted them to be happy and were very loving, especially with eliot being the youngest.

he was terrified to come out to his parents as bisexual, which he did his senior year of high school. while they were a little bit confused at first they were on the whole loving and supportive of him.

he is left leaning politically with a strong emphasis on social and enviromental issues. while his own dream is on hold for the time being, he does make an effort to get involved, doing things such as canvassing for candidates he supports.

he’s a hopeless romantic and has always been the type to write love letters and buy flowers for no particular reason. this also has caused him to have his heart broken one too many times. 

he speaks english and some gujarati, he also took latin in his undergrad but doesn’t remember much of it apart from legal terms and is taking spanish on duolingo 

can very much be a workaholic, can be seen in a cafe on weekends working on a case and drinking a coffee

loves to read and has a book shelf over flowing with just about every genre, particularly inclined to romantic era authors and poets

he was raised hindu but isn’t practicing

( alcohol/drugs tw ) he doesn’t really tend to be a drinker or do drugs, he will enjoy a glass of wine with dinner or the occasional cocktail when he goes out for dinner but it’s rare that he’ll get drunk. the only drug he’ll ever really go for is weed, which he’ll smoke occasionally. probably did shrooms like once or twice when he was younger. honestly probably too concerned with the ethics of the drug industry to do much else.

enjoys hiking and being in nature quite a bit.

pretty good at chess actually,, not like really good but like isn’t awful in a casual match, same with scrabble. 

[bravelyforwardhangingon]

Get to know you

Rules: tag ten followers you’d like to get to know more

I was tagged by both @somethingwendythiswaycomes and @geekygalfitness

Name: Diana

Star sign: Libra

Gender: Female

Height: 5′4″

Sexual: yes...? [I’m straight, if that’s what this question is asking]

Wallpaper: see below

Where do you see yourself in ten years: Hopefully no longer in my townhouse, maybe a kid or two, hopefully working in a job I love. 

Favourite gif:

If you could be anywhere else right now, where: Right now, I’d say not at work... but if I had to pick a specific place? Kauai, Hawaii. 

What was your coolest Halloween costume: I don’t know that they would be considered “cool” but I have two that are my favorite random costumes: 

1. When I was an intern at a theatre company for a year after undergrad, there was a party where I went as our supply closet. Basically borrowed items from the closet to make my costume. Trashbag dress, extension cord belt, paperclip necklace/bracelet, binder clips in my hair. I even took the sign out sheet for the supply closet (which was a clip board) and attached it to my back. 

What’s your favourite 90s tv show: I don’t know that I really had a favorite back then...

Last kiss: My husband, this morning, when I went to work. 

Have you ever been stood up: Not that I can recall

Have you ever been to Las Vegas: Yes! Spring Break my senior year of college and then almost two years ago for a conference. 

Favourite pair of shoes: my sketchers ballet flats and/or my Reef flip flops for day-to-day wear. My gold glitter high heels for fancy shoes. 

Favourite fruit: Strawberries

Favourite book: I read a lot... I don’t know that I have a favorite tbh. Maybe the Harry Potter series right now? “Perks of Being a Wallflower” was a favorite back in the day

Stupidest thing you’ve ever done: I have done maaaaaaany stupid thing but here are a couple that had good outcomes: 

1. Made a date with a guy I met on match.com for a city about an hour from where I was living at the time and didn’t tell anyone that I was going to do that (Reader: I married him) 

2. Speaking of my wedding, one of the guests was someone whom I had never actually met in person. We met in a chatroom when we were 15/16, and the first time I actually got to see him/hug him/talk to him IRL was at my wedding ~15+ years later. 

Favourite Gif: see below

[healthandhealingtherapy]

Therapist Spotlight Part 2: Khoa Ngo LCPC

Back for the second half of her interview, Khoa Ngo discusses her aspirations before deciding to become a therapist, her love for audiobooks and boba, and her shining optimism and positivity.

When you were twelve, what did you want to be when you grew up? How old were you when you decided you wanted to be a therapist?

It wasn’t until my senior year or junior year of college, so pretty late. I had actually wanted to be a pediatrician since I was five, I think, because I liked working with kids – which sounds funny at age five, but I thought the pediatrician’s office was really cool for a really long time. So, I was actually doing a lot of pre-med in undergrad, and that was going to be my other degree along with psychology. In my junior year, I had a really good psychology professor, and she said, “what happens if you just decide that you like psychology, and you don’t want to become a medical doctor?” I was like, “huh, I don’t know.” She said, “you’re killing yourself trying to do two degrees. Why don’t you just go for the one?” And I thought, “oh, I didn’t even think about that.” I had thought that I wanted to be a pediatrician for so long, it didn’t even occur to me that I might want to change my mind.

What are self-care or fun activities that you use to overcome stress, or like to do in your free time?

I like to watch movies, go on date nights with my husband, and play with my kids. Life is so busy, but doing things like playing with my kids or spending alone time with my husband is a good way to practice mindfulness and staying in the moment. Practicing self-care for me can also be something simple like being able to be alone in the house. Setting it up so that my husband takes the kids and I can be in my own house by myself – it sounds really boring, but it’s a self-care thing, especially with COVID. Otherwise, it could be a pedicure or something like that.

What are some of your favorite things?

I guess I like Tik Tok – I’ve learned a lot, and I’ve tried a lot, and a lot of the practical advice on cleaning or fixing things works really well! I like it because it’s funny, short, and you don’t need much of an attention span. I like books on tape because I drive a lot, so I like listening to things because it feels more productive than just driving and listening to the radio. I like music, and I also like cold beverages. I like boba – that’s one of my favorite things. I usually get a lychee green tea with some kind of popping boba. I like Vietnamese food for sure! One of my favorite things is definitely eating – my joke used to be, you can tell I’m not in a good mood if I’m not thinking about what I’m eating next. I’m one of those people who eats a meal, and as I’m eating my current meal, I’m thinking, “what am I going to have for the next one?” I’m not someone who’s picky; I like all kinds of foods, ethnic foods, and trying new things. That’s probably my number one favorite thing, definitely, is food and trying different cuisines.

What is the best book you’ve read relating to therapy? Also, a book that doesn’t relate to therapy?

There’s two relating to therapy that I really like and think about a lot. One is The Seven Principles to Making Marriage Work by John Gottman, and the other is The Whole-Brain Child by Daniel Siegel. I think a lot about those two while I’m doing therapy. For a non-related therapy book, I love the Harry Potter series. I was late to the game – I didn’t start it when it came out. I had a friend who was obsessed with it, and I’m one of those people who’s like, “if it’s too popular, I don’t want to try it.” But then something happened with the fourth movie, and I needed to know what happened next! So, I got the books and just read all the way through. I also like The Grapes of Wrath by John Steinbeck. It’s a reality-fictional story, and there’s a lot of struggle and strife in it. I think that the book captured the story really well.

What is one of your favorite things about yourself?

That’s a hard one. Probably that I’m really friendly, and I think I’m easy to get along with – I’m not a difficult person at all. I like most people, and I’m pretty optimistic, so I think that’s a good quality that helps me in therapy, too. I can see the silver lining or put a positive spin on almost any situation. I guess if I had to pick one of those things, I would say I like that I tend to be optimistic.

How is/are your bonsai tree(s) doing?

We actually talked about this in the last group consultation! They’re doing okay, if they’re still growing – I have three different bonsai trees, and they’re still alive, but they’re growing incredibly slowly, to the point where they look the same as they did a month ago. I can’t see any changes in them, but they’re still green and still alive! They’re just three-inch sprouts. I handed over the care-taking to my husband at one point when I was gone because he was at home working, and by the time I came back, they had grown a lot in less than a week! So I was like, “wow, you’ve done a really good job and you should keep taking care of them! Maybe it’s my fault.” *laughs*

Click here to schedule an appointment with Khoa.

[iamliberalartsgt]

Hannah Corpe Introductory Post

I’ve been into history since I was in the first grade in 2003. I know that sounds extra, and that’s how everybody starts introductory blogs, but it’s true. One of my older sisters did a book report on Mary, Bloody Mary by Carolyn Meyer and left the book lying around, and I picked it up and was instantly hooked. This started me on a passion for the history of Tudor England specifically, but also a fascination with how things used to be and how they had changed in the intervening centuries between now and “a long time ago”.

At first, history was just a hobby, a class I excelled in and was interested by, but nothing more. Then in 9th grade, I saw quote from Stephen King, saying that a real author reads 70-80 books per year. Since being an author had been the ambition of my tender heart since before I knew how to write (I actually got in trouble several times for “writing” when I was in pre-k, since my “writing” at the time was just scribbling lines of loops in the perfectly nice journals I had been given for practicing the alphabet) I thought, I should give that a try. I pretty quickly ran out of YA that I found compelling, and so I moved on to historical fiction, remembering how interesting I had always found different time periods. Shortly even that wasn’t enough, and I began to read more scholarly works of historical nonfiction to find out more about my favorite subjects. By the time I was in 11th grade (2013) I knew that I wanted history to figure prominently in my higher education.

I knew that I wanted my future to involve a well-paid job without many extra years of schooling beyond undergrad, so it seemed like a traditional liberal arts college was out of the question. But there was nothing that interested me as much or made me as happy as history, and nothing that made me feel as out of my depth as technology. Because my dad from graduated Tech (BSBio in 1976) and I had two sisters there at the time who have since graduated (both BSBAs in 2016) and I’ve been going to Tech football games since before I really knew what football was, it made sense to at least check it out and see if I could picture myself happy in any of the majors.

That was when I hit across something that perfectly fit all of my requirements- the Ivan Allen College of Liberal Arts. I could study my history and learn about the things that interested me, but I could also learn other supporting skills that would help me get a job after graduation. All of my coursework would be geared towards relevance in the modern world without losing respect for the past. The IAC had a wealth of opportunities, from doing research with professors to being a college ambassador, and I would have access to all the resources of a large, well-funded state institute while still enjoying the small class sizes and close relationships with professors of a regular liberal arts college. Additionally, I would graduate with a Bachelor of Science, instead of a Bachelor of Arts, so I would be equally prepared for any path I wanted to take- if I wanted a job in a humanities field, my coursework would speak for itself, and if I wanted a job in any different field, having a BS would clearly demonstrate that I had been well trained in the rigorous STEM courses expected of a Bachelor of Science. And as an added bonus, the History, Technology, and Society major had the most free credits of any major in the school, making it easy for me to pursue anything from a double major to a certificate as well as possible to continue participating in band and orchestra, programs I have enjoyed since my early adolescence.

When I packed up and moved to campus and got ready for my first semester, I didn’t know just how many amazing opportunities I would have. I’ve been able to participate in the research option, and write an entire paper about the Tudors, which I presented at the most recent regional history conference. I’ve become one of the Ivan Allen College Ambassadors, and the vast array of skills I’ve learned from helping coordinate volunteers at our Shadow Day recruitment events and hosting information sessions have helped me become a more effective student and to stay calm (or calmer anyway!)  in high-pressure situations. Those skills also translated well to working part-time while also taking classes in the Office of Enrollment and Student Affairs for almost a year. I founded a club (the History and Sociology Club) and was inducted to Phi Alpha Theta, the national history honor society. I’ve taken classes that have impacted my worldview like European Intellectual History and the History of Disease and Medicine, and classes that greatly developed my understanding of subjects I previously thought I knew a lot about, like the Classical Tradition, and the Science, Politics, and Culture of Nazi Germany. I’ve had a chance to learn from teachers who are some of the foremost subject experts in their field. It’s also been possible for me to get a certificate in Information Technology Management from the Scheller College of Business, which helped me get my current internship with IBM, and to remain a member of the Yellow Jacket Marching Band and become a brother of KKPsi, the national honorary band service fraternity.

These experiences have really influenced my development from a teenager who was unsure of quite what she wanted to do but knew she wanted it to not involve chemistry or computers into an adult with aspirations to work full-time, and perhaps pursue a masters’ degree, in Cybersecurity Policy. My experiences at Georgia Tech as a whole, but specifically in the Ivan Allen College, have taught me that if there’s anything important to have in life, it’s the attitude that any problem, no matter how daunting, can be solved. Except for maybe chemistry I’m not gonna lie to you it’s the devil’s work.

As I enter my senior year, I’m looking forward to continuing to work part time, and giving more of my attention to my extracurricular activities. I still have one more year left, and I’m really excited to see how many new opportunities and experiences are waiting around the corner.

Note: the picture above is of me as Eleanor of Aquitaine at the HCon, hosted by the History and Sociology Club on Halloween. Featured also is the most prominent HTS major, Kayleigh Haskin, as a fabulous Boudicca. 

[rochestertoastmasters]

Our Staff, Our Stories: Fazi Amirahmadi

Thanks to Mayo Clinic Department of Laboratory Medicine and Pathology

Originally published on February 27, 2020 

Fazollaah “Fazi” Amirahmadi’s first name was bestowed to him by his grandparents. Fazollaah translates as “knowledge of God” in Persian. “My grandparents were very hopeful,” says Fazi, senior principal systems engineer, who supports DLMP’s Anatomic Pathology Division. “They put lots of pressure on me to be a knowledgeable person. Since my name was long and difficult to pronounce, my parents picked the nickname ‘Fazi’ for me.”

Fazi was born in the Iran province of East Azerbaijan. More specifically, he grew up with his three brothers in the city of Marand, which has a current population of about 130,000. When Fazi was 6 years old, the family moved to Tehran, the capital city of Iran, to be closer to his mother’s side of the family.

When speaking of Iran, he prefers using its older, lesser-used name, Persia.

“I do this so people can relate to Persian culture,” he says, “and our literature—poets such as Ferdowsi, Sa’di, Hafiz, Attar, Nezami, Rumi, and Omar Khayyam—our tradition of hospitality, rugs, pistachios, saffron, cats, and more significantly, King Cyrus the Great.” The Cyrus Cylinder is considered the first declaration of human rights, notes Fazi. “Those words served as inspiration for at least one of America’s Founding Fathers, Thomas Jefferson.”

Fazi and his three brothers had a happy middle-class upbringing, with a passion for playing soccer, and experimenting with new science subjects they learned at school. His father was an accountant for the railroad, his mother a high school teacher—which helps explain why he can rattle off names of the great Persian poets.  “My mother taught literature,” he says. “I wish I had inherited her talent for literature.”

Love and turmoil

After finishing high school in Tehran, Fazi pursued an undergraduate degree in industrial engineering. In 1975, during his sophomore year, he married “the love of my life,” Mahshid. (This coming August, they will celebrate their 45th wedding anniversary.)

In June of 1978, after finishing their undergrad degrees, Fazi and his wife came to the U.S. to attend graduate school at the University of Nebraska-Lincoln (UNL). Soon after, a series of events in Tehran led to the Iranian Revolution.  

“My two younger brothers came to the U.S as well, one right before the revolution, and one who escaped through the southern part of Iran right after the revolution,” says Fazi. “Our parents told us not to come back, because they knew firsthand what was going on in Iran. This is a big sacrifice for parents, who wish their kids to stay away from their homeland, in a foreign country, knowing they may not ever see them again . . . I could not go back for 13 years because of the war.”

Fazi and his wife pursued Ph.D. degrees (in industrial/systems management engineering and economics, respectively) in order to be able to stay in the U.S. under student visas. In 1986, they both graduated from UNL and found teaching jobs at the University of Wisconsin. They became U.S. citizens in 1993. They now have a son, Arya (“Ryan” in English), who works for Mayo Arizona as a software engineer, and a daughter, Sara, who is married and works for a research lab in Atlanta, Georgia.

All peoples reflected in one place

What does Fazi love most about being part of Mayo? There are many things, but for a definitive answer we must travel back to 2005 when, newly hired as a systems engineer, he first walked about the Rochester campus.

“The first thing I noticed at Mayo was the diversity,” he recalls. “It was amazing to see such a variety of people in one place and hear different languages. It was like being at the United Nations, everyone with the same goal—‘The needs of the patient come first’.”

Three years ago, he had the opportunity to learn about the Mayo Employee Resource Group (MERG). The goal of MERG is to help Mayo further implement its diversity and inclusion strategy, and to create a sense of belonging for all Mayo employees.

“MERG has opened a whole new avenue for me to direct my energy,” says Fazi, who is now chair of the Iranian heritage MERG, and a member of DLMP’s Diversity and Inclusion Committee.

It’s been a long journey to get here, literally, for the Persian and his family. He has since lost his father to a heart attack and two of his brothers to cancer: his youngest sibling, Vahid, who worked in Mayo’s Transfusion Laboratory, and his oldest brother, Abolfazl. “Vahid received the best care from Mayo Clinic while he was battling his cancer,” says Fazi.

That leaves his only surviving brother, Majid, the second youngest, who runs a successful architecture firm in Kansas City with his wife, Elizabeth, his college sweetheart from Mexico.

Someday, Fazi would like to memorialize his brothers, his family, by writing a book about his life. Meanwhile, he feels that human connection and empathy are paramount in these times. “The suffering of people in one part of the world will, sooner or later, impact everyone else on earth,” he says. “We need to see ourselves as citizens of this planet. The survival of humanity is in the hands of each and every one of us.”

On that note, Fazi has chosen to leave you with a poem by the celebrated 13th-century Persian poet, Sa’di:

“Human beings are limbs of one body indeed;

For, they’re created of the same soul and seed.

When one limb is afflicted with pain,

Other limbs will feel the bane.

He who has no sympathy for human suffering,

Is not worthy of being called a human being.”

[irelandseyeonmythology]

The CMT thing pisses me off SO MUCH because when I was doing my undergrad, about....4 years ago (GOD that feels so weird to say, it feels like yesterday)....it was EVERYWHERE. Like, you had your $80 Abebooks Irish Text Society CMTs, yes, but you could BUY IT DIRECTLY FROM THE ROYAL IRISH ACADEMY for like. 30 Euro. Mine was my graduation present. I still own it (....I....might be known to sleep with it and actually took romantic photos with it on Valentine's Day.)

And like? The ITS CMT is SO VALUABLE for the notes and the index, the version you get on CELT just does not capture the work and dedication that went into it. I understand that it's expensive to re-issue these things, and they can make the argument that it's already been digitized at CELT, but like....it's so important. I'm not just saying that because it's my baby. It's legitimately one of the most important books I own, obviously next to my paradigms (I'm pretty sure it comes down to my paradigms + glosses, CMT, Ireland's Immortals, and Thurneysen as far as physical books I own that I consult regularly and couldn't do without.)

Also! The Early Modern Recension, which NO ONE CARES ABOUT (seriously, most people don't REALIZE there's an Early Modern Recension, I didn't until I was about two months from submitting my undergrad Capstone) is sold out. I found out the hard way when my dog ate mine and I had to order one from Australia just before I had to give a presentation on it. (Do you know. Do you know what it's like to have to look your professor in the eye, a man who's worked for decades in the field and earned his position as a senior scholar, and say that your dog ATE your copy of CMT2?) I was able to pick it up four years ago for...I BELIEVE it was around $40 back then. Which I thought was a lot given it's a slim book with a very soft cover but is NOTHING on how much it costs now. And it was never even translated into English, it's all Early Modern Irish, who the FUCK...

I just....it wasn't always this way and it makes me furious that it is.

@aoelaighfinnartist

Unfortunately, I use the EDIL for my sanity's sake, BUT! Before there was the EDIL, there was the DIL, which was released in a hardback form.

The problem is that...well.

90% of the time, as far as my hardback materials are concerned, I mainly stick to Quin's workbook + Strachan's paradigms and, if I'm DESPERATE, Thurneyson. (The book you see here isn't the one you get if you order one -- you can only get the workbook and paradigms separately, I just had mine custom bound and like to show it off because it honestly might be my single most prized possession.)

[sayrj]

Year of Exams

Two days ago I bought some flowers from the reject corner of the grocery store and a very fancy notebook. I had just lost out on an apartment I wanted, a change I had been counting on. Housing that I might actually want to live in. This post is an extension of the notebook - two products of growing anger that the main reason I am in Kansas is the last thing on my list time and again because of the banalities and dramas swirling around me.

The first thing I’m putting in this notebook will be conversation notes, which I won't document here. I take notes religiously, not because I take great notes (I don’t) but because it helps me to actively pay attention when I am reading or in class. But I’ve realized I talk to people all the time and never document any of it beyond post-it notes, which is absurd because so much of why I moved here was to talk to people. I will also write about my thoughts related to my research, starting with thoughts about my exam fields, which this post and hopefully the posts that follow will reflect, with some omissions and additions. It’s not meant to be a transcription. Then, and more often than not, I want to post about what I am reading, with or without commentary (1).

I need a space of my life that is about my project even though I “don’t have one.” I need an outlet that doesn’t have to be aesthetically beautiful or well written, and something that is distanced from the rest of my social media that requires (”requires”) balancing the personal, entertaining, and political, always with great care for the “friends” who can see this or can’t see that. I want to be one-note, selfish, and rambly. This space is public enough for a level of accountability, I think, but still private enough in the sense that I know no one will realistically be reading. Posting here also doesn’t require any distracting web building on my part, which I know could easily bog me down instead of lift me up.

So now (and something I’ve been avoiding thinking about as I “get settled” for six weeks), my fields... I’ve been playing with them self consciously because they do feel like huge commitments/opportunities to get familiar and find where I fit, but also, and most importantly, because the idea of trying to be an expert in anything is nauseating (2). 

But I’ve been playing with (in blips, nothing sustained) my bookshelves. All these giant presences in my life, little rectangles staring at me in my tiny, used-to-be-a-porch bedroom/office/storage facility at the co-op I’ve been staying at for almost a year now. I actually stacked up all the fiction I have on my desk to get it out of the way the other week. So first, a recent revelation. Last spring and this spring I’ve TA’d for my advisor who assigns Du Bois and Richard Wright early on to mostly first years in an intro American Studies course. It’s my favorite week. It inspired me to assign Invisible Man + the same Wright reading to my students last summer. It reminds me of taking my senior folklore class where I read Richard Wright, Alice Walker, Ralph Ellison, Randall Kenan, and Ernest Gaines all for the first time. This was the same year I read Toni Morrison’s work too, just (”just”) Beloved and Paradise. Part of what I loved about American Studies as an undergrad was all the literature. What isn’t given any space to breathe seems to bubble up elsewhere, screams like a kettle too. It punctuated my last bit of time there in a very particular way I didn’t expect (thinking semicolon, maybe ellipses). I looked back at the stack of fiction on my desk and thought “not everybody’s bookshelves look like this.” I’ve been breezing past this influence when thinking about my research interests, even as it shows up everywhere else.

So I owe it to myself to take this more seriously. I am still hesitant, though, because then I wonder where does Poe fit, and the “closets of their own” I wrote about in a paper ages ago when I was still checking off boxes (3)? Where does Lemus fit, the author of the book I’ve spent a year writing about with hopes of publishing (4)? And the quieter worry that I’m straying from the queer studies work I promised, or at least promised myself. That word that’s been ripped away from me, before I was born it looks like, that makes me wince when I read it, shift in my seat when I hear it, increasingly disenchanted. Ashamed to use it. 

I remember the first theory, if I can call it that, I learned in an American Studies class. A term pulled, not out of an explicit piece of theory but from a short piece by Wil Haygood that talks about the “ears of whites” being “placed at awkward angles” (5). The class was on the ethics of stand up and we talked, sort of, about what it meant to have one’s ears at “awkward angles.” That concept is something I have carried with me for some content-specific reasons. More broadly, though, and leading to how I found what I think might be another field, it taught me a particular freedom while reading. I have been taught and teach others now the skill of pulling central arguments from texts. But what about that tiny word, in this case a phrase, that lights up? Or something “off topic” or secondary that feels central? Something that stretches you or preoccupies you. Along with recognizing that tilt of the head, the power of that twinge of discomfort... focusing on that single phrase gave me permission, a model, that I could latch onto things, notice things, value the details, zero in and then magnify.

Last June, I read Seth Kotch’s book on the death penalty in North Carolina (6). I don’t remember why I read it at that particular time so intently, just that I ordered it specially from the Raven and picked it up after dropping off Kelsey Carls after our Kansas City commute. The part in particular I’ve been consumed by is less than a paragraph, a tiny moment that states that burglary was a capital crime in the state until the 1940s because it implied rape, at least (”at least”) attempted rape (by a black man, towards a white woman). The potential was actionable, conveniently leaving the white women’s virtue in tact. 

What I have been struggling with is whether this is a striking fact that expands my understanding of the already substantial existing scholarship discussing black masculinity and white womanhood, or if this a jumping off point? 

In this and a stack of other texts the logic has its foundation in public (white) sentiment. I am interested in the distribution of surveillance and privacy, and the power surrounding it that is so consistently rooted in vague “feelings,” unsubstantiated “fears,” that are given more credit than any material reality. And does this recurring, viciously powerful “public sentiment” mean I can, or should, show up at the door with all the affect I’ve been torturing myself with reading?

I don’t actually agonize over figuring this all out or making all the right choices on the first try. But there is finite time and finite money, and I have to start somewhere, and I’m excited. It’s already March for heaven’s sake. Nothing else I write here will be this long or I’ll never get a move on.

__________________________________

1. What I don’t need is a public diary and what I definitely don’t need is another venue to wax about teaching, funding, coursework, or various dramas. All valid, all important, all interrelated, and all hard to keep from eclipsing conversations about my work.

2. And I mean anything. I can come up with an excuse for why anything is not appropriate. Anything that feels like it’s none of my business, anything that feels stereotypical or trendy, anything over my head, just anything. Which leaves me with nothing, which makes sense. Because it doesn’t feel right that I would be or aspire to be an expert of any kind. Because people like me shouldn’t be experts (or, inevitably, pretend to be experts) in anything. So that’s a cloud over everything that’ll choke me to death if I let it. 

3. Poe, The Murders in the Rue Morgue.

4. Lemus, Trace Elements of Random Tea Parties. The helicopters, ya’ll, damn. 

5. Haygood, “Why Negro Humor is so Black.”

6. Kotch, Lethal State: A History of the Death Penalty in North Carolina. 

[ronnykblair]

Hedge Fund Recruiting: The Definitive Guide

When it comes to hedge fund recruiting, real information is tough to find.

Part of that is intentional: hedge fund recruiting, by design, is less structured than investment banking interviews or private equity recruiting.

Also, many hedge funds are not interested in broadly marketing themselves to candidates.

As a result, it’s far more difficult to outline a step-by-step recruiting process.

But this entire site is dedicated to step-by-step processes, mixed with my apocalyptic worldviews and obsessions with TV shows, so I’ll give it my best shot:

What Do Hedge Funds Do?

A hedge fund is an investment fund that raises capital from institutional investors and accredited investors and then invests it in financial assets – usually liquid, publicly traded assets.

Most hedge funds target absolute returns rather than relative returns, and they use a wide variety of strategies and securities to achieve those returns.

“Absolute returns” means that if the S&P is down 25% for the year, and your hedge fund is down 15%, that’s a terrible outcome because you’ve still lost money.

On the other hand, if the S&P is up 30% for the year, but your hedge fund is up only 20%, that’s a good outcome on an absolute basis because you’ve earned money.

“Wide variety of strategies and securities” means that hedge funds do far more than simply buying and selling plain-vanilla stocks and bonds.

For example, they may short-sell securities, use derivatives, bet on mergers going through or failing, and they may become directly involved in events like spin-offs and restructurings.

Hedge funds differ from mutual funds and asset management firms because those firms tend to target relative returns (e.g., “beat the S&P by 5%”) and they follow more traditional strategies, such as buying and holding undervalued stocks.

Hedge funds differ from private equity firms because PE firms usually buy and sell entire companies or large stakes in companies, and most of their holdings are illiquid.

Why Work at a Hedge Fund?

Hedge funds are good if you’re extremely passionate about the public markets, and you want to follow companies and other securities rather than work on deals.

“Extremely passionate” means:

You’re constantly reading about the financial markets in books and other media.

In your spare time, you research companies, create investment theses, and buy and sell stocks, bonds, derivatives, and other assets.

You’ve joined investing clubs and have participated in investing competitions.

You procrastinate on other work/responsibilities by trading your portfolio.

The money is a big draw as well.

If you’re at the right fund and you perform well, you can earn into the mid-six-figures, up to $1 million+, even as a junior-level employee.

And the top individual Portfolio Managers can earn hundreds of millions or billions each year.

Hedge funds offer a much higher pay ceiling than investment banking, (sometimes) better hours and work/life balance, and the chance to do more interesting work.

The downsides are that your exit opportunities out of a hedge fund will be more limited, it’s still a very stressful job even though you work fewer hours, and if your fund blows up or otherwise shuts down, you’ll be out of a job.

Also, many people are pessimistic about the future of the hedge fund industry because of the rise of index funds, passive and automated investing, and AI.

It’s not going to disappear overnight, and you can still make money even in a declining industry, but the best time to enter a hedge fund was a long time ago (e.g., the 1990’s) when there were more opportunities and fewer threats on the horizon.

Hedge Fund Recruiting: Who Wins Interviews and Offers? And for Which Roles?

There are three main roles at most funds, and the hedge fund recruiting process differs for each one:

Investment Analysts (IAs) or Research Analysts: They are the junior employees who generate investment ideas, do the analysis, and present their ideas to the senior team.

Portfolio Managers (PMs): They review the Investment Analysts’ work and then decide which investments to pursue.

Traders or Execution Traders (ETs): They receive directions from the PMs and execute their ideas, using their knowledge of buyers and sellers in the market.

At some funds, the Investment Analyst and Execution Trader roles are blended – for example, Structured Product and Investment Grade Credit investors usually do their own trading as well.

And at some types of funds, there are additional roles – for example, at quant hedge funds, there are also quants and programmers with math/statistics/computer science backgrounds.

In addition to these front-office roles, there are also middle and back-office roles for trade settlement, compliance, IT, HR, and more.

In this article, we’ll focus on hedge fund recruiting for Investment Analyst roles because:

If you’re working in a field such as investment banking or equity research, you’re far more likely to win a role as an Investment Analyst than anything else here.

You don’t “recruit” for PM roles – you get promoted to that position after developing a track record of results.

To win Execution Trading Roles, you pretty much need to be a trader in the right group at a large bank. We cover this topic in the article about sales & trading exit opportunities.

And finally, quant funds are a whole separate topic that I don’t want to get into here, as we have an article on them and one on quant research jobs.

The following professionals have the best chance of winning Investment Analyst roles at hedge funds:

Investment Banking Analysts at bulge-bracket and elite-boutique banks, and sometimes ones who followed the “2 + 2” path (i.e., two years of IB followed by two years of PE).

Equity Research Associates at bulge-bracket banks.

Research/Investment Analysts at traditional asset management firms or mutual funds.

Some Sales & Trading professionals who happen to work in highly relevant groups, such as the rates trading desk or the equity derivatives desk.

Occasionally, university graduates who have completed relevant internships, such as ones in asset management at a pension fund, win full-time hedge fund offers straight out of undergrad without another full-time role first.

Some large hedge funds have begun to recruit on-campus more actively, but it’s still not that common, and it may not necessarily be a good idea to accept a buy-side role right out of undergrad.

Of these categories, many U.S.-based hedge funds prefer IB Analysts – at least funds that use strategies such as long/short equity, merger arbitrage, and anything else related to fundamental analysis or deals.

Funds that use strategies such as global macro (i.e., trading FX, commodities, etc. based on changes in government policy, economic or trade policy, and interest rates) may prefer S&T professionals who have worked in areas like the rates trading desk.

And if the fund is even more specialized, such as one that invests in distressed credit, you should be on the distressed debt desk so your skills match up perfectly.

In terms of academic credentials, the quality of your undergraduate university, your GPA, and even your SAT or other standardized test scores, such as the A-Levels in the U.K., all matter in hedge fund recruiting.

That said, “prestige” is not quite as important as it is in investment banking and private equity because hedge funds value results above all else.

As a result, you’ll see more non-traditional professionals at hedge funds than you will in IB/PE.

Beyond work experience and academics, hedge funds seek the following qualities in candidates:

Passion for the Markets / Investing – You must enjoy reading about the markets, learning different businesses, and picking them apart. You must enjoy taking calculated risks by making bets and protecting your downside when those bets go wrong.

Independent Thinking / Healthy Skepticism – You have significant autonomy at most hedge funds, and you must come up with ideas and spend your time efficiently. You must be able to absorb large volumes of information and decide what to pay attention to and what to ignore.

Team Player-ness – Being a team player is critical because no investments happen in isolation. Even the biggest hedge funds have lean teams without much “middle management,” so you must be able to contribute without letting your ego override good team decisions.

Emotional Stability – You will lose money because no investor is right 100% of the time (or even 51% of the time). When that happens, you need to remain calm and stick to your strategy. If you’re a hysterical or high-strung person, you’ll never make it.

Hedge Fund Recruiting: Who Does NOT Win Interviews and Offers?

It’s also worth pointing out a few things that are not useful for winning interviews and offers.

First off, an MBA is not particularly useful in hedge fund recruiting.

The numbers don’t lie: look at any employment survey of the top 10-15 business schools, and you’ll see that a low percentage of students (often 5-10% or less) accept hedge fund offers.

And the funds that do hire post-MBA often want to see pre-MBA buy-side experience, such as in private equity, asset management, or hedge funds.

The CFA is a bit more helpful, particularly if you’re a career changer or you need to demonstrate your knowledge in the absence of traditional finance experience.

However, it’s still less useful than real work experience in IB, PE, AM, ER, or S&T.

Both the CFA and MBA tend to be more helpful for traditional asset management roles, especially since AM firms conduct on-campus recruiting at a wider variety of business schools.

If you’re a day trader, it will be extremely difficult to win hedge fund jobs because trading a small amount of your own money is very, very different from taking positions worth millions or tens of millions.

Your best bet is to win an offer at a legitimate prop trading firm, build up a track record there, show that you can work in an institutional setting, and then use that experience to move over.

It can also be quite difficult to win hedge fund interviews if you’re at a boutique or middle-market investment bank; you’re certainly unlikely to win mega-fund offers coming from one of those.

If you have your heart set on a mega-fund or even a mid-sized one, you should make a lateral move to a bulge bracket or elite boutique to boost your chances.

The Hedge Fund Recruiting Process: Paths into the Industry

Similar to private equity recruiting, there are “on-cycle” and “off-cycle” paths into hedge funds.

The difference is that “off-cycle recruiting” is far more prevalent for hedge funds since the industry is more fragmented and the required skill sets are less standardized.

In the on-cycle hedge fund recruiting process, mega-funds such as Citadel, Point72, Millennium, Fortress, and Bridgewater contact 1st Year IB Analysts at about the same type as large PE firms do.

These funds have internal recruiting teams or are represented by specific headhunters, such as Glocap, and they aim to fill a certain number of openings for the next year.

This process has been moving earlier each year, and it now happens several months (!) into the job for NY-based Analysts.

That means that you need to start preparing before your full-time job even begins.

“Preparation” for hedge fund interviews means coming up with 2-3 solid investment pitches, working on spinning your pitches into sounding like deals and then taking a strong view of each one, and making sure you can explain your market views coherently.

You can certainly network with professionals at these large funds, but headhunters dominate the process, and opportunities often depend on factors outside your near-term control, such as your bank, your undergraduate institution, and your GPA.

Interviews at the mega-funds typically go for 3-4 rounds, with several individual interviews in each round, and a modeling test or investment pitch near the end.

If you win an offer, you’ll hear back quickly, and the start date will usually be after your first year in IB ends.

By contrast, the mid-sized and smaller funds use off-cycle recruiting because they don’t have good visibility into their hiring needs until someone leaves.

Often, these departures happen in the first quarter of the calendar year because bonuses are awarded then – but spots also open up throughout the year.

These funds almost always want recruits to start immediately, but sometimes they’ll let Analysts stay until they receive their annual bonus, depending on the timing (e.g., 2-3 months might be OK, but probably not 9 months).

With these funds, networking is far more important and is one of the best ways to win interviews.

You can certainly reach out to headhunters and apply online through resume drops and job boards, but you’ll get better results with networking – if you do it correctly.

These firms tend not to have dedicated HR teams, so it’s easier to find professionals on LinkedIn or via your alumni network, email them to introduce yourself, and set up brief calls.

Once you win interviews, the process might not be that much different – especially if someone has just left and they need a replacement ASAP.

However, the process could be a lot more extended (e.g., several months rather than days or weeks) if they do not have an immediate hiring need.

Hedge Fund Headhunters: Do They Help?

Hedge funds employ many reputable headhunters: Glocap, Dynamics Search Partners, SearchOne, Amity, and more.

The mega-funds, multi-manager funds, and some single-manager funds all tend to use headhunters.

Our usual advice applies here as well: if you “fit the mold” of an ideal candidate, headhunters can be helpful in hedge fund recruiting.

If not, don’t spend too much time with them.

So, if you graduated from Yale with a 3.9 GPA, worked in IB at JP Morgan and then in PE at Silver Lake, and now you want to join a TMT-focused hedge fund, headhunters will be lining up to help you move over.

But if you went to a state school, worked in a corporate finance rotational role at a mid-sized company, and then joined a regional boutique investment bank, don’t hold your breath.

If you want to work with headhunters, it’s always best to get referrals from co-workers and former co-workers and focus on specific professionals – not entire recruiting firms.

Other Routes into Hedge Funds

Some hedge funds hold investing competitions and award internships to the winners; you should explore these if you’re an undergraduate, but they’re not the best use of time if you already have full-time work experience.

Local CFA Societies can also offer a path into hedge funds right out of undergrad, and few students use them at all.

The idea is that you’ll begin studying for Level I of the CFA, attend in-person meetings of the CFA Society, meet investment professionals there, and then network your way into internships and, eventually, full-time offers.

The rest of this article will assume that you have full-time finance experience and you now want to network to win hedge fund roles – since most candidates have to do that as part of the hedge fund recruiting process.

We can divide the process into four steps:

Research and screen for funds.

Network with hedge fund professionals.

Prepare for interviews.

Follow up after the interviews and provide references.

Hedge Fund Recruiting, Step 1: Research and Screen for Funds

Before you begin searching for anyone, you need to figure out the type of fund you want to work at.

If you’re not focused in your search, you will get nowhere – no matter your experience level or approach.

Here are some questions to think about:

Asset Class: Equities? Fixed Income? Commodities/FX? Convertibles? Private deals? A mix of all of these?

Industry Focus: Technology? Healthcare? Energy? Generalist?

Investment Strategy: Long/short equity? Investment-grade debt? Distressed debt? Global macro? Merger arbitrage?

Fund Model: Single-manager or multi-manager?

Size of Fund: Under $1 billion AUM? $1 – 5 billion? Over $10 billion?

Names Covered: Do Analysts there typically cover 5 – 10 companies or 40 – 50? Or something in between?

Investment Process: Do you have to present to the investment committee to take a $10 million position? Is the threshold higher/lower? Or is there very little bureaucracy?

Level of Activism: Does the fund take an active role in special events such as restructurings, acquisitions, and divestitures?

Culture: Is the office fairly quiet, with a lot of introverts? Or is it more social, or even “fratty”?

Hours / Lifestyle: Do you want fairly predictable hours, even if it means more boring day-to-day work, or would you be OK with a less predictable schedule? from ronnykblair digest https://www.mergersandinquisitions.com/hedge-fund-recruiting/

[valeriebielbooks]

Interview with author Liz Czukas (aka Ellie Cahill)

I absolutely loved I Temporarily Do by Ellie Cahill (the not-so-secret pen name of author Liz Czukas). It all starts with a marriage of convenience between two wonderfully written and believable characters who don't mean to fall in love. They really don't! And I'm not giving away anything here--this is a romance novel after all. Of course, they fall in love. But what happens next is what makes the story so delicious. I just love a story that makes me laugh out loud. I was so glad to learn there that this is the first book in Cahill's Cordially Invited duo. Can't wait for the next installment.

About the book: A little white lie. A little white wedding. A pair of roommates in over their heads.

Days before she's set to move across the country and start a prestigious graduate program, a con artist leaves Emmy with no where to live and less than zero dollars in her bank account. But her day doesn't seem quite so bad compared to Beckett's--his fiancée called off their wedding just days before they tie the knot. Now he's single and ineligible for his place in married student housing.

So what are a girl without a home and a guy without a wife supposed to do? A quickie wedding in Vegas will solve both their problems. It's a business arrangement, and no one even needs to know. They'll just get an annulment in a few months. What could go wrong? Only Beckett forgot to mention his new apartment is a one-bedroom. And neither of them counted on their new friends at Middlesex University thinking they're a great couple. The platonic newlywed game might be harder to play than Emmy thought. Especially when it starts to feel less than platonic.

To Purchase:   Kindle   Paperback

I'm so glad Liz agreed to let me pepper her with questions here today, because she's really busy writinggreat stories for us!

Can you tell us about the different jobs you’ve had other than writing? I always like to ask authors this, mainly because authors always seem to have had so many different careers and often an interesting job history.

Before I was published, I was a Labor & Delivery nurse for 9 years! I have a master's degree in Nurse-Midwifery as well, although I never practiced as a midwife. But I only went to nursing school after I realized that my undergrad degree in History and Anthropology wasn't exactly a hot commodity on the job market! Writing is by far my favorite job.

How long have you been writing and how long ago did you publish your first book?

I've been writing as long as I can remember. Terrible stories as a kid, novels, short stories, non-fiction for a health information website, fan fiction...you name it. I wrote it. My first book didn't come out until 2014, but it definitely wasn't the first book I wrote!

If there’s anything that you could go back and tell your ‘unpublished’ self, what would that be?

Patience is a virtue. It can feel very "do or die" in publishing, but the truth is, humans have been making and reading books since we figured out how to communicate. Stories aren't going anywhere, so it's okay to take your time, and it's okay if publishers don't like your first offering.

Is there anyone/anything you would consider the most inspirational or influential in your success as a writer and why?

My senior year English teacher told me that I was a good writer. In fact, he told me he'd give me my money back if I didn't get a 5 on the AP English test. I got the 5 so he got to keep his money. But the things he taught me about reading and writing stuck with me. I dedicated to my first book to him (and my other high school English teachers, actually, because they all had an influence on me in one way or another.)

As you can see from my review above, that I loved “I Temporarily Do”, which you wrote as Ellie Cahill. I know that you also write books under your real name—Liz Czukas. Can you tell us a little bit about how your pen name came to be and how the books you author as Liz Czukas differ from each other?

First of all, thank you so much! I'm glad you loved it. I was first published as Liz Czukas. All my books under that name are YA, intended for teen readers. When I got an offer on my first adult-oriented book "When Joss Met Matt", my publisher wanted me to have a separate identity so readers would know what they were getting. Thus, Ellie Cahill was born. It's handy having a name like Elizabeth, because there are so many good nicknames to use for author personas. And as for Cahill, I wanted something people could actually pronounce!! (Incidentally, Czukas is pronounced CHEW-kiss, or two fun things to do with your mouth.) Although I have a lot of cross-over readers, there are definitely people who prefer one type of book over the other. If you are someone who reads multiple genres, I think it's safe to say that if you like one of my books, you'll like the rest. I'm all about the fun, romantic-comedy feeling in both YA and adult.

Can you please explain the difference between the Young Adult (YA) and New Adult (NA) genres? (I still find people who don’t know that the new adult genre exists.)

New Adult is basically a fancy title for books about people who aren't teenagers, but aren't living the responsible lives of "grown-ups" yet. It can be about college students, or people in the military, or athletes...anyone who is still kind of figuring out who they want to be as adults.

Can you tell us a little bit about how your ideas develop as a writer? Do you have a clear vision of the main characters from the beginning? Do you outline?

Every project is a little different for me. Sometimes the idea for a character comes first. Sometimes just the spark of an idea. Some ideas start as sparks, but can't go anywhere until I combine them with other ideas or characters. I'm not a full outliner. I am a planner, though. I write out a 1-3 page synopsis that gives me a rough plan for where I want to go with my story.

As a writer of middle-grade/young-adult stories, I often get asked why I write stories for this age group. What appeals to you about writing for the young adult and new adult age groups.

I like writing for these age groups because the characters still have so much to learn. They haven't become set in their ways, or bogged down by the drudgery of adulting, like paying mortgages and grocery shopping. Instead, they still have the chance to learn about new things, and who they want to be. They're open to new ideas and possibility. Plus, the intensity of relationships is so strong at these ages. First love, first kisses, first heartbreaks. So much more juicy than later in life.

Of all the books you’ve written (and there have been quite a few) do you have a favorite or is that rather like asking a parent which child is their favorite?

Ha! Definitely like asking my favorite child. I like them all for different reasons. Some, like Ask Again Later, were so much fun to write because of the structure. Others have characters that I practically feel like old friends, like "When Joss Met Matt". Some have favorite scenes or lines of dialogue. That's the joy of writing a lot--there's always something new and unique.

I am always curious about other author’s writing environments . . . so where do bring all your wonderful characters to life?

Nowhere special! I don't have an office at my house. So I'm usually working on my couch on kitchen table. I also meet up with other local writer friends and do some writing at coffee shops, or libraries. If I'm lucky, I get to go on multi-day writing retreats with other fabulous writers and get to immerse myself in nothing but making the words appear on the screen for days and days.

Can we look forward to another book from you soon?

Yes! I have another romantic comedy coming out as Ellie Cahill in November. It's called "The Designated +1", and it features a character who made a very brief appearance in "I Temporarily Do". Don't worry though, it's a complete stand-alone. You can read it without reading any of my other books. It's up for preorder at Amazon, Kobo, and iBooks.

Before we move on to the Fast Five list, is there anything else you want to tell readers about yourself or your books?

Just that I can almost guarantee you a laugh if you read my books. When you need a pick-me-up read, keep me in mind!

Fast Five:

Fav Pizza Topping – mushrooms

Book You’re Reading Now – Romancing the Beat by Gwen Hayes

Coffee, Tea, or Both – both, but especially latte

Fav TV Show as a Child – Tiny Toon Adventures

Best Place You’ve Vacationed – Rome

How can readers discover more about you and you work?

Website: http://lizczukas.com Facebook: Liz Czukas OR Ellie Cahill Twitter: @LizCzukas OR  @Ellie_Cahill

Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/lizczukas/

Pinterest: https://www.pinterest.com/lizczukas/ Amazon Author Page: Liz-Czukas OR Ellie-Cahill Goodreads: Liz_Czukas OR Ellie_Cahill

Thanks, Liz, for taking the time out of your busy schedule to talk with me today!

[eveningescapades]

Heads up, this is the longest post ever. I don’t normally write on here but I am going through a really difficult time right now and I feel the need to share it. I don’t want everyone in my daily life to know, so I figured tumblr is the next best thing, right? Anyways, if you do read this and you know who I am IRL/the person I am talking about, please be gentle. This is not something I am choosing to share with everyone. 

This past Tuesday I went to court to testify as a witness in a case against my old camp counselor, who I will refer to as S. 5 years ago I was a fifteen year old girl struggling with bulimia and depression. At this theater camp, I became very close with my director S. He was the first adult I confided in about my bulimia. We texted constantly. He was 34, with a wife and daughter. At the time, I never thought anything was wrong about our friendship. I viewed him as a mentor, someone I looked up to and enjoyed talking to.

I didn’t recognize the signs of him grooming me to depend on him, to confide only in him. I introduced him to my best friend. When camp ended, I continued to see him. He wrote me a long, four page letter. He bought me books. He confided in me about his relationship problems, and often acted as if he was my age, to the point that I saw him as my age. 

And then he bought me and my best friend alcohol. I don’t remember if he offered, or if I asked, and either way it doesn’t matter. He should have known better. He should have set boundaries. Really, he shouldn’t have met me at all when camp ended. He certainly shouldn’t have seen me four times in about two weeks. But he did, because he wanted something from me, even if he didn’t know what that was. After he bought us alcohol, my friend and I proceeded to drink it on our own. I had never had hard liquor before-- I blacked out and vomited everywhere, my friend had to take care of me, it was a mess. But I didn’t know what binge drinking or BAC level or health drinking looked ike, so I thought what I experienced was normal and okay, and S didn’t dissuade me. Instead, he talked about how fun it would be if we drank together, and asked me if I wanted to. He made it seem appropriate and the next day he picked me up and drove us somewhere to drink. I’m going to pull the next part from my victim impact statement that I had to write for court, despite the fact that the judge never read it because the jury voted “not guilty”.

“The details of that day are blurry, but they have impacted my psyche ever since. I remember getting into a car with him, and he showed me the vodka and mixers that he had. We drove somewhere that was near a small wooded area. I still don’t know where he took me—I wasn’t paying attention to where we were going. When he parked, we started drinking. I didn’t even think about the fact that he would have to drive after we drank. In retrospect, I feel that S used my desire to drink and naivety to get close to me and take advantage of me. If he had not impaired my judgment with alcohol, I would have sensed that I was in a dangerous and uncomfortable situation. Instead, I ended up at his house, over 30 minutes away, on his bed, with him on top of me. For years I blamed myself. I thought that it was my own fault for blurring the lines in our friendship by agreeing to drink with him. I thought that what he did was an accident or mistake, that I had somehow enticed him into kissing me. Now I know that he probably was planning it the whole time, and used alcohol to speed up the process.

While no physical harm was done to me, I cannot forget the way it felt to have his body press me down against the mattress. I felt powerless, and small, and confused. I felt dirty because I was in his bed, the one he shared with his wife, one room over from his daughter’s bedroom. I barely remember what happened, I just know that I didn’t kiss him back and eventually he stopped and got off me and started apologizing. I asked to go home and he took me. I still don’t know why he took me home, because he could have done anything to me. I wouldn’t have remembered. 

For a long time, I pretended that what happened to me was okay. I told myself it was an accident, that he didn’t mean it, that I probably overreacted. Despite this, I could not bring myself to think about what happened. I blocked it out, ended the friendship, and never told anyone about it. I moved on, or at least I tried to. I got a boyfriend six months later. I remember telling him in a moment of intimacy what happened, and feeling devastated at his anger. Although it was directed at S, I felt like it was directed at me because in my mind, I was responsible for what happened. I was the girl who had put herself in that situation by consenting to drink with an adult man. Never mind that that man suggested it, that he was an adult who should have known better, that he had been my camp counselor and one of my closest confidantes that summer. It wasn’t until I was watching Juno for psych class my senior year of high school, nearly three years later, that seeds of doubt formed in my mind. The father in Juno reminded me vividly of S- childlike, up close and personal with a young teenage girl who had not asked to be viewed that way. Unlike me, Juno refused to stand for it. Unlike Juno, I was unable to get past that moment of frozen confusion, where S kissed me on his bed.

I chose to go to court because I have not been able to forget that day I drank with S. For so many years I have tried to forget what happened because I was ashamed and guilty. I thought that it wasn’t that big of a deal, because it’s not like he raped me—he even apologized after. I blamed what happened on the alcohol. I didn’t even think about the danger he put both of our lives in when driving around drunk.” 

Well, no more. I don’t want to feel ashamed anymore. Every time I have to see people from camp, every time I have had to lie to my friends and family about phone calls and missing work because I was meeting with lawyers and going to court is time that I regret losing over you. I sincerely hope that seeing me in court on Tuesday made you think twice about your actions. 

It’s not fair that we live in a country where criminal cases are so impossible to win. Burden of proof is on the accuser, reasonable doubt, blah blah blah. Because of these rules, my court case didn’t get to be about you violating my trust and my body. It was over two counts of furnishing alcohol to minors. And even then, you were determined to win! You lied to my face and everyone in the court and said that you never bought me alcohol. Liar. You let your lawyer make me out to be mentally unstable, told everyone about my ED and self-harm, things that I never think about or talk about anymore because that’s not who I am. And the fucked up thing is, it fucking worked. Because I couldn’t remember the details of what your car, FIVE FUCKING YEARS AGO, looked like. Because I couldn’t remember that you bought me a smoothie, if you drove me home or I walked. Small details that created reasonable doubt, and so you got away with a “not guilty”. I have spent THE ENTIRETY OF MY LAST TWO YEARS OF UNDERGRAD waiting for this moment. I just wanted to have the validation of winning. 

I know that my decision to pursue legal action against you has made a difference. I know you can’t step foot on the grounds of our camp again. You can’t teach. The Dept of Education wants you to give up your license again, and if you refuse, they will come at you with a civil case. But it feels like too little too late for me. I feel like I have suffered so much and it’s for nothing. The only good thing coming out of this “not guilty” sentence is that I am finally, finally angry. I felt so guilty and ashamed and uncomfortable in my own skin for so long that I didn’t realize I had the right to be angry. Why me?? Why did you decide to target me? I will never understand why you couldn’t keep things appropriate. You have a DAUGHTER. How would you feel if someone did that to her? You were a TEACHER. A COUNSELOR. A MENTOR. None of those roles should have suggested that it was ok to get someone half your age drunk and then make a move on them. Sometimes, I almost wish you had raped me. I know that’s fucked up, but I would have known how to define what you did to me as clearly, identifiably wrong. Instead, for so long I lived in this grey area where I believed I was to blame. I have continued to freeze up in situations where I felt uncomfortable. Last summer I was raped. I was in an unsafe situation, that I could have left, but I just froze. This physical response that has stayed in my body since you touched me. Last semester I had a panic attack in class during a class activity that triggered my memories of you. And now I have to move on with my life and act like the past five years of trauma and pain are suddenly ok because I did everything within my power to right the wrong you did to me and it wasn’t enough. 

I don’t know what would be. I honestly feel so alone, even with all my family and friends. I know this feeling will get better, and eventually I’ll be in a place where I am ready to work through this bullshit. But first I have to figure out a way to not be so fucking angry all the time with how things turned out. 

For those of you who read this- thank you. I just want to be heard in a safe space and feel validated. 

[wildcherrypepsihero]

1-100 please! And have a good day! :)

Holy CRAP! THANK YOU! Seriously, you can PM me your url if you want some asks sent your way! You’re too kind :)

1. Is a kiss considered cheating? Yeah, I think so. I’m pretty much uncomfortable with hand-holding or long hugs/cuddly with anyone but my SO. I’ve tolerated it before for friends who are going through stuff, but I really enjoy personal space. I would be pretty uncomfortable if Marty did anything cuddly with someone else, too. Kissing is pretty over-the-line for me.

2. Have you ever faked an orgasm? Hasn’t everyone? Yes, I have.

3. If you could have one superpower, what would it be? Deafness at will?Like the ability to create total silence. I get overwhelmed pretty easily, and I hate a lot of noises, so it’d be nice to shut it out sometimes!

4. Do you think you are going to be rich in 7-8-9 years? Absolutely not!

5. Tell us some funny drunk story. I don’t drink, sorry!

6. Why are you no longer together with your ex? He was a douche and was only interested in me for sex. Which was super gross because he was a lot older than me.

7. If you had to choose one way to die, what would it be? Old age. Painless.

8. What are your current goals? I have a ton of goals right now!!! I want to get a cartilage piercing, I want to lose weight, I want to get straight A’s, I want to get a tattoo I want to make new friends, I want to become more involved with my religion, I want to save up for my gap year between undergrad and grad school, and I want to make the most of my time between now and when I graduate!

9. Do you like someone? Been dating the love of my life for almost three years!

10. Who was the last person to disappoint you? I’m trying not to hold grudges about it. It’s already in the past!

11. Do you like your body? Sometimes! I’m a lot less mean to myself than I used to be.

12. Can you keep a diet? I’ve never dieted! I’m good at eating well, though!

13. If the whole world listened to you right now, what would you say? I’d agonize over it for a long time, but I’d draft a speech on how important knowledge is and try to talk about acceptance and stuff. The political scene is rough right now.

14. Do you work? Yep! I’m a paid intern at school for English, and I’m a carpenter over the summers!

15. If you could choose only one food to eat to the rest of your life, what would it be? Does the entire genre of “vegetables” count? If I had to pick one... Maybe broccoli? I really like tomatoes, too.

16. Would you get a tattoo? Yep! I want to get an Italian worker bee on my left wrist.

17. Something you don’t mind spending all your money on? My education!

18. Can you drive? No. My anxiety is pretty easy to hide, but it’s been pretty crippling, too. I wish I could do normal things.

19. When was the last time someone told you that you were beautiful? Today! I was really self-conscious at the beach, but my boyfriend was lovely and texted me encouragement!

20. What was the last thing you cried for? My grandfather who passed away a few years ago.

21. Do you keep a journal? Sort of! I don’t have time to journal or to even write stories on their own, but my planner acts as my journal. It’s one of the most treasured things I own.

22. Is life fun? Absolutely!

23. Is farting in front of people irrelevant? I think farting in public is gross and disrespectful, but in private with people you know is totally fine.

24. What’s your dream car? Convertible VW bug!

25. Are grades in school important? No, as long as you’re learning! In my experience, though, when I’m learning, my grades are good. When I’m not learning, they’re not. But that isn’t the case with everyone!

26. Describe your crush. Dorky, cute, kind. My best friend.

27. What was the last book/movie that really impressed you? A Book of Bees by Sue Hubbell and Hidden Figures!

28. What was your last lie? “No worries!”

29. Dumbest lie you ever told? Any time I told some wildly untrue story in my youth to seem interesting.

30. Is crying in front of people embarrassing? YES.

31. Something you did and you are proud of? I’ve had straight A’s two semesters in a row, I’m publishing multiple articles in TWO journals with my school, and I’m in the Honors program at my university!

32. What’s your favorite cocktail? I don’t drink!

33. Something you are good at? Critical analysis of language!

34. Do you like small kids? Well enough!

35. How are you feeling right now? I’m really tired.

36. What would you name your daughter/son? Noelle/Phillip. Both named after family members.

37. What do you need to be happy? Marty, a good book, a comfy bed, and a job at a university!

38. Is there some you want to punch in the face right now? At any given moment, I’m ready to punch two specific people in the face.

39. What was the last gift you received? My dad got me a bunch of patches for my bag!

40. What was the last gift you gave? I can’t even remember. It was probably for Marty.

41. What was the last concert you went to? Probably Sara Bareilles!

42. Favourite place to shop at? I like stores like Target! I also like Francesca’s.

43. Who inspires you? My mom and my first professor.

44. How old were you when you first got drunk? N/A

45. How old were you when you first got high? N/A

46. How old were you when you first had sex? 19

47. When was your first kiss? My senior year of high school

48. Something you want to do until the end of this year? I have a workout, meal, and overall points plan!

49. Is there something in the past you wish you hadn’t done? I wish I’d taken my English classes more seriously in high school.

50. Post a selfie. I’m horrible at taking pictures. I’m pretty much exactly like this emoji: (ง°ل͜°)ง

51. Who are you most comfortable around? Marty!

52. Name one thing that terrifies you. UNCERTAINTY.

53. What kind of books do you read? Realistic fiction and creative nonfiction. I don’t have a lot of tolerance for ridiculously fictitious stories anymore.

54. What would you tell your 12-year-old self? Life is going to get hard. Learn how to cope with it sooner. Ask your mom for a fucking therapist.

55. What is your favorite flower? Purple coneflowers have had my heart for years, but a lot of bee-friendly flowers have been growing on me.

56. Any bad habits you have? Maybe it’s not a habit more than it is a symptom, but I scratch at my ears until they bleed and clean them until the protective layer of wax is gone and they get infected. Not fun :(

57. What kind of people are you attracted to? Low-maintenance, low-drama dorks.

58. What was the last thing you cried for? I didn’t even notice this was on here twice when I reblogged it.

59. Is there something you don’t eat? Some food that truly disgusts you? I really hate hot fruit and mushy hot vegetables.

60. Are you in love? Yes!

61. Something you find romantic? Laughing together! And cuddling :)

62. How long was your longest relationship? My current one! Almost three years!

63. What are 3 things that irritate you about the same sex? These seem pretty heavily based on stereotypes. Three things that irritate me about PEOPLE are 1. over-dramatic, 2. little to no forethought about most things, 3. UNWILLING TO SOLVE THEIR OWN PROBLEMS THROUGH SIMPLE COMMUNICATION.

64. What are 3 things that irritate you about the opposite sex? See above.

65. What are you saving money for? New apartment things! Cork board, rice steamer, etc.

66. How would you describe your bad side? Stubborn, holds grudges, easily irritated.

67. Are you actually a good person? Why? I think I’m trying really hard to be a good person. I still have a lot of really selfish habits and mindsets, but (weirdly enough) my experiences with religion have helped me change them.

68. What are you living for? My lovely SO and my passion for English and higher education!

69. Have you ever done anything illegal? Nope!

70. Do you like your body? See above? I guess?

71. Have you ever made someone feel bad about themselves intentionally? No, I don’t think so.

72. Ever sent nudes? Nah. The NSA doesn’t need to see anything but my fully-clothed body.

73. Have you ever cheated on someone? ABSOLUTELY NOT.

74. Favourite candy? I really like Butterfingers! And Hostess mini powdered donuts, if those count as candy.

75. Is there a blog you visit every day, or almost every day? Tag it! @barry-bluejeans - I love all that sweet taz content. There are some other taz blogs, too, but I really love this one.

76. Do you play any computer games? What is your favorite game? Starbound, right now! I also adore Stardew Valley.

77. Favorite TV series? I love Brooklyn 99 and Parks and Rec.

78. Are you religious? Does God exist? Uh, yeah! I think I am? I recently got introduced to a really open branch of religion and I’ve been learning a lot. I don’t think there’s a man in the sky who knows everything. I think God is a limited entity that exists in the interactions between people? Like... I don’t know. God is the forgiveness between two people for the initial awkwardness of conversation. God is the need for letting grudges go quickly out of personal growth, not out of charity for the other person. God is the overwhelming sense of calmness we get when we’re out in the quiet of nature. God is the ever-expanding universe getting to know itself, if that makes sense? I dunno. I’m still a little embarrassed about religion, but I really like to explore it in writing lmao.

79. What was the last book you read? Did it impress you and why? A Book of Bees! YES! It was so poetic and peaceful! My copy even had grammatical errors and typos, but I still thoroughly enjoyed the book!!!

80. What do you think about vegetarianism/veganism? Extremely admirable, especially when it’s in protest of the current meat industry.

81. How long have you been on Tumblr? Since my sophomore year of high school, though I’ve deleted a few times to start over.

82. Do you like Chinese food? YES!

83. McDonalds or Subway? Subway, I guess? These are both kind of bad options.

84. Vodka or whiskey? I don’t drink...

85. Alcohol or drugs? Neither... Although I would choose pretty much anything over drugs.

86. Ever been out of your province/state/country? Been out of state, but not out of country (YET!)

87. Meaning behind your blog name? It started out as a vent blog. I deal with a lot of things through humor, so a lot of my reactions to sad relatable posts would be to laugh and then cringe.

89. What are you scared of? Still uncertainty! Also not a big fan of heights.

90. Last time you were insulted? This idiot from school said that I was a bad friend, that my best friend was in love with me, and that my boyfriend was probably cheating on me.

91. Most traumatic experience? It happened a long time ago, I’d rather not answer.

92. Perfect date idea? Cuddling at home! Or going to a museum!

93. Favorite app on your phone? My smartpen’s app! Or garage band!

94. What color are the walls in your room? Green!

95. Do you watch YouTube? Who is your favorite YouTuber? I watch some youtube. I like Animal Wonders Montana and Dollightful!

96. Share your favorite quote. As a word person, I have a lot of favorite quotes, but right now it is the following: “Some beekeepers recommend continuous feeding of all hives in the springtime, arguing that a steady supply of sugar syrup tricks the colony into believing there is nectar flow in progress, which stimulates the queen to lay a greater number of eggs than she normally would. I have tried it but find it unsatisfactory, and have concluded that it is impossible to trick bees. They know their world better than I do.” -Sue Hubbell. There are so many from this book that I adore but this one is one of my favorites.

97. What is the meaning of life? A good book on a beach with the one you love.

98. Do you like horror movies? Yeah, I guess! In small doses.

99. Have you ever made your mum cry? What happened? Probably loads of times in high school. She was terrified that I was never going to get my act together.

100. Do you feel lucky or special in a way? I’m very lucky to have wonderful parents, a perfect monogamous boyfriend, and a passion that I’m good at!

101. Can you keep a secret? I feel like I misnumbered these somehow. Also, some of these are repeats, so fuck it. I’m doing 101. Yes, I can keep a secret, but not from Marty. Thankfully, Marty can also keep a secret.

[krystisyaandwine]

Hello, everyone! I’m so excited that it’s First We Were IV release week and even more excited to have the wonderful author Alexandra Sirowy here on the blog today! This is certainly one of my favorite YA thrillers of 2017, so make sure to pick it up when it comes out tomorrow, 07/25!

About the Book

Title: First We Were IV

Author: Alexandra Sirowy

Release Date: July 25, 2017

Pages: 448

Publisher: Simon & Schuster Books for Young Readers

Buy Links: 

Amazon | Barnes & Noble | Book Depository

A group of friends start a secret society in this out-of-control thriller from the author of The Telling and The Creeping that examines the all-consuming love of lifelong friendship—and what someone is capable of when they’re afraid of losing it.

Izzie loves nothing more than her three best friends, Viv, Graham, and Harry, and the bond the four of them share. And she’s terrified of their friendship falling apart next year when they go off to college. To bind them together, she decides to create that will belong only to them, a special thing that they’ll always share between the four of them. And so they dream up the Order of IV, a secret society devoted to mischief that rights wrongs and pays back debts. At first, it works like a charm—but when the Order of IV’s escapades get recognition beyond their wildest expectations, other people start wanting in. And soon, what started as a game of friendship is spiraling into something dangerous and beyond their control—and before it’s over, they’ll pay the ultimate sacrifice.

Guest Post – Revenge is the Thing

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FIRST WE WERE IV is about four best friends – Izzie, Viv, Harry, and Graham – who invent a secret society and use it to play pranks on their coastal town. After their first take-down –  a pervy high school VP – they realize that the Order of IV can be an invisible hand for justice. Their secret society’s next target: the mayor and police who allowed the murder of a female teenage runaway go unsolved. Five years ago, it was Izzie and Viv who found her body, mysteriously staged in Viv’s family apple orchard. The discovery left a lasting impression on the four friends. Before it, they were carefree adventures and after, they understood that even their perfect town had monsters.

Fast forward to their senior year of high school and the invention of the Order of IV. The friends become a tempest of pranks and vigilantism, justice quickly taking a backseat to revenge. And as secrets unravel and others want into the Order, events spiral out of control, ultimately costing one of the four friends their life.

Give me a book with a revenge plot or subplot any day. I particularly love tales of teenagers rising-up and getting even, whether it’s with authority, bullies, or a broken world. Here’s a short list of my favorite revenge-y books and descriptions from their publishers.

A Court of Wings and Ruin by Sarah J. Maas

Feyre has returned to the Spring Court, determined to gather information on Tamlin’s maneuverings and the invading king threatening to bring Prythian to its knees. But to do so she must play a deadly game of deceit—and one slip may spell doom not only for Feyre, but for her world as well. As war bears down upon them all, Feyre must decide who to trust amongst the dazzling and lethal High Lords—and hunt for allies in unexpected places.

Burn for Burn (Burn for Burn #1) by Jenny Han and Siobhan Vivian

Postcard-perfect Jar Island is home to charming tourist shops, pristine beaches, amazing oceanfront homes-and three girls secrets plotting revenge. KAT is sick and tired of being bullied by her former best friend. LILLIA has always looked out for her little sister, so when she discovers that one of her guy friends has been secretly hooking up with her, she’s going to put a stop to it. MARY is perpetually haunted by a traumatic event from years past, and the boy who’s responsible has yet to get what’s coming to him. None of the girls can act on their revenge fantasies alone without being suspected. But together…anything is possible.

I Am Her Revenge by Meredith Moore

She can be anyone you want her to be. Vivian was raised with one purpose in life: to exact revenge on behalf of her mother. Manipulative and cruel, Mother has deprived Vivian not only of a childhood, but of an original identity. With an endless arsenal of enticing personalities at her disposal, Vivian is a veritable weapon of deception. And she can destroy anyone. When it’s time to strike, she enrolls in a boarding school on the English moors, where she will zero in on her target: sweet and innocent Ben, the son of the man who broke Mother’s heart twenty years ago. With every secret she uncovers, Vivian comes one step closer to learning who she really is. But the more she learns about herself, the more dangerous this cat and mouse game becomes. Because Mother will stop at nothing to make sure the truth dies with her.

Gemina (The Illuminae Files #2) by Amie Kaufman and Jay Kristoff

Hanna is the station captain’s pampered daughter; Nik the reluctant member of a notorious crime family. But while the pair are struggling with the realities of life aboard the galaxy’s most boring space station, little do they know that Kady Grant and the Hypatia are headed right toward Heimdall, carrying news of the Kerenza invasion.

When an elite BeiTech strike team invades the station, Hanna and Nik are thrown together to defend their home. But alien predators are picking off the station residents one by one, and a malfunction in the station’s wormhole means the space-time continuum might be ripped in two before dinner. Soon Hanna and Nik aren’t just fighting for their own survival; the fate of everyone on the Hypatia—and possibly the known universe—is in their hands. But relax. They’ve totally got this. They hope.

What are your favorite revenge stories?

My Review

This is the first book of Sirowy’s that I’ve read, and it will definitely not be the last! This book leads off with a hint of one mystery and then quickly sweeps readers into yet another one. Watching Sirowy weave the two stories together into one seamless plot was fascinating. There’s also some incredible elements of horror sprinkled throughout that absolutely gave me the chills and kept me absolutely glued to these pages.

There’s a fantastic secret society element in this book, which is always captivating. What I love about this secret society though, is that it happens to be a society run by teenagers, who effectively call out the adult citizens of their small town on their corruption and a dark secret hidden in the town’s history.

The characters were very well-developed. Each member of the Order has their own individual personality and quirks, and the way they all interact with one another is authentic and wildly entertaining. This is one of those books that you’re sad to see come to an end, because you don’t want to say goodbye to the characters just yet.

I adore a mystery/thriller set in a small town. The idea that people you think you know everything about are capable of treacherous acts is truly terrifying and definitely increases the suspense in this novel.

The ending of this book is breathtaking and will absolutely take readers by surprise. This is one summer thriller that simply isn’t to be missed.

About the Author

Alexandra Sirowy is the author of the young adult thrillers THE CREEPING, the Bram Stoker Award® Nominated THE TELLING, and the upcoming FIRST WE WERE IV. Alexandra attended a women’s college as an undergrad and received her graduate degree in International Studies. When she isn’t writing, she loves to travel, read, eat, and get into mischief. She lives with her husband in Northern California.

Enter the Giveaway!

1 signed hard cover copy of FIRST WE WERE IV

Fujuifilm instax mini 9 Polaroid camera in smoky white (& film) like the one in the book!

Strand of gold stars

FIRST WE WERE IV swag (temporary tattoos & bookmarks)

Evie Seo Designed Tote Bags

*US entires only. No purchase necessary to enter, giveaway items provided by Alexandra Sirowy.*

Follow the Blog Tour

Thank you so much to the phenomenal Brittany from Brittany’s Book Rambles for hosting this tour! Be sure to check out her blog!

Week 1

July 10:  Bookish Lifestyles – Review + Tote Design July 11:  Brittany’s Book Rambles – Guest Post July 12:  Emily Reads Everything – Review July 13   Biscotto’s Books – Moodboard July 14:  Forever Lost in Literature – Review

Week 2

July 17:  My Friends Are Fiction – Guest Post July 18:  Literary Legionnaire – Review July 19:  The Reader and the Chef – Review July 20:  Novel Novice – Guest Post July 21:  Dark Faerie Tales – Interview

Week 3

July 24:  YA and Wine – Review + Guest Post July 25:  YA Book Central – Spotlight July 26:  Tales of the Ravenous Reader – Review July 27:  A Perfection Called Books – Guest Post

Will you be reading First We Were IV when it comes out tomorrow? What is your favorite revenge novel that you’ve read?

Follow me online for more YA and Wine!  

Revenge is the Thing: Guest Post by FIRST WE WERE IV Author Alexandra Sirowy Hello, everyone! I'm so excited that it's First We Were IV release week and even more excited to have the wonderful author Alexandra Sirowy here on the blog today!