#a whole day has passed and I did nothing but to write this text

[ifwdominicfike]

the words i cant say

summary - matt is infatuated with you, you’re all he ever thinks about now. having no one to let these secrets out to, he decided why not write about them instead..

it was killing him, having to keep these secrets to himself for so long was tiring. the only thing being his outlet was his journal, pages among pages filled with him just rambling about you. of course he would never tell you these things, afraid of going over your boundaries and ruining the whole friendship.

if you were to ask him what he loved most about you he wouldn’t be able to answer that question, he loved every single bit of you. of course he wrote about that as well, he couldn’t not think about you even if he tried.

a couple weeks ago..

“her everything is perfect, her eyes, her style, her humor, the way her smile brightens when i compliment her on anything - june 19th”

“she looked so pretty today, i kept staring at her lips i hope she didn’t notice.. - june 25th”

“her voice is the sweetest thing i’ve ever heard, i can talk to her for hours - july 12th”

“i cant help but wonder if she thinks about me the way i think about her - july 22nd”

to shorten it down he was in love with you, and he had no plan of telling you anytime soon.

he wanted to push these feelings away, feeling bad for pining over his own best friend while you had no knowledge of it. he couldn’t help it though, he thinks back to the countless amount of times you two had spent together. late night drives, going thrifting, or just staying in watching cheesy rom-com movies.

during group settings his eyes would wonder over to you, staring longingly at you laughing and smiling big while you were having the time of your life. you would turn your head and see his light colored eyes looking at you with a soft expression, which ended up in both of you turning away while heat rushed to your cheeks.

there was some nights where you stayed up thinking about him, just wondering what if? but you brushed it off, thinking maybe its all in your head..

you were coming over today, it was nothing new, you always came over to hang out when you didn’t have anything specifically planned. you were excited to see matt, you haven’t seen him in two weeks due to his work schedule and all of his meetings piled up. he finally had a free day and you were overly excited when he asked you if you wanted to hang out.

you loved spending time with him, no matter what it was. as long as it was with him you were happy.

he had texted you to come whenever you wanted, you were already in pretty comfy clothes so you got your keys and left. the drive there was calm, music flowing through the car consumed the silence and before you know it you’re already in their driveway.

you texted matt that you were outside already and not even a minute passes before you hear the door unlock and open, you were met with his disheveled figure, hair messy, slightly cropped shirt and sweatpants resting low on his waist..

“finally kid you’re here, you were taking forever” a smile spread across his face as he rolled his eyes sarcastically. you step inside as he holds the door for you, “i haven’t seen you in forever and you already have a attitude??” you say raising an eyebrow as you set your keys down on the table.

“oh come on, you know i missed you doll.” that name. you didn’t hear it often but when you did your cheeks would turn bright red as you stumble over your words. that stupid grin on his face said everything you needed to know. “i missed you too, matt!!” you flashed a cheesy smile at him before you felt his arms wrap around you and pull you into his chest.

a couple months ago..

“the feeling of her arms around my waist feels so right.. wish i could always have her this close. - january 17th”

“she has to know what she’s doing, right?? fuck. her smile makes me weak. - january 29th”

“she looked gorgeous in that top with the little bow, her hair done up differently, her pretty jewelry scattered around her figure as well, i couldn’t help but steal glances each time she wasn’t looking in the car. - february 6th”

you return the hug, his comforting scent surrounds you, making you feel at peace. finally feeling his warmth that you longed for for a little too long, you both pull away and his face lights up. “shit- i forgot i had gotten you something when i was away, come on” your face forms into a confused expression “you didn’t have to do that matt, you know that right??” your smile still being very evident as you protest him getting you a gift.

“yeah yeah i know, but it made me think of you so i haddd to get it!” he grabbed your hand and dragged you over to his room, you flop down on the bed as he searches around looking for the gift. you hear him scattering around while muttering words to himself until a certain book under his pillow catches your eye.. you didn’t know matt was getting into reading? “ooh matt what book are you reading?” you hold it up to show him the hardcover journal.

“huh? im not readin- WAIT!“ you open it up to see your name on the first page, several times actually. you scan through it curiously, you finally realize that it was definitely not a regular book. he was basically confessing his love to you in every single page, matt was too late as he rushed over to you snatching the book from your hands.

you quickly stand up, jaw basically on the floor and your face redder than ever. you didn’t even know what to say, its not like you didn’t feel the same because you did.. its just you couldn’t believe he wrote all of that about you. “l-look y/n i can explain i just-“ his words coming out in stutters “matt, matt please, just calm down. okay? y-you’re okay, come on..” you lead him back over to his bed, both of you sitting down at the edge. “im really, really sorry y/n you weren’t supposed to read that. i understand if you feel uncomfortable or if you wanna leav-“ you cut him off bringing your hand to his cheek and leaning in, your lips colliding with his.

you caught him off guard but he instantly kisses back, you smile into the kiss and bring your other hand to back of his neck pulling him more in. his hands traveling down to your hips, holding onto you like you could disappear any moment. you both finally pull away, heavy breathing while you watch that same stupid grin form on his face.

“what?” you ask laughing. “nothing, its just- i’ve always thought i would be the one to kiss you first” his smirk growing wider by the second. “oh shut up, you’re so corny” you roll your eyes in a playful manner and push at his shoulder a little.

“i really did mean it you know? everything i said in that journal. you really, really mean a lot to me and i- i can’t see myself loving anyone else other than you y/n. since the first day i met you.” tears forming in your eyes as he continues to talk, “you mean everything to me. words can’t express how i feel for you, i would’ve said something sooner but i didn’t wanna ruin the relationship we already had and-“ you laugh at his mouth running off again, his nervousness taking over once more.

“matt, please im so sorry but shh. i feel the same way, you weren’t really the best at hiding that staring problem of yours you know..” you giggle at his embarrassed expression “i love you, a lot. you’re the best thing that has ever happened to me, you were always there for me whenever i needed someone and you never fail to make my days better. i love you so much.” he watches you in awe, how could someone so precious be in front of him right now?

“so does this mean like, im your boyfriend now, right..?” you giggle and take his hand into yours “well.. i dont know, i haven’t been asked yet..” he smiles and gives your hand a small kiss. “y/n, may i be your boyfriend?” your smile growing ten times bigger before you nod your head immediately. “yes, yes yes YES!” your arms instantly wrapping around his neck as you pull him into another kiss, this time it was filled with love, and patience. the world stopped the second you two filled the gap in between, until you feel him pull back.

“i love you so fucking much y/n. words wont ever be enough for me to show you how much i really do.”

“wait. what about my gift though?”

- avery’s note ˚ 𝜗𝜚˚⋆｡-

my first fic.. this took me like 2 days to write because i had no idea on how to go with this, i feel like its kinda all over the place too it feels rushed to me idk why 😭😭 if there is any mistakes or missing words, NO THERE ISNT. please be nice, again this is my first time writing. im always open for ideas or tips on anything!! also thank you to @flouvela for encouraging me on writing this ILYSM GF 🤍🤍 ok bye now!!

[quinnkdev]

i wrote a short thing about OFF, and my relationship to it as its translator; thoughts ive wanted to put into words for a while.

you can read it here as well, under the cut.

wait! wait... there is more to be said about OFF than, at the time of my previous review, i had the bandwidth for. i had, temporarily, reached a point of saturation with it - you only regurgitate a game's text again and again so many times until you start getting a bit weary of it, after all - but now that the bomb has burst and the remake is public knowledge (i kept that stuff secret for 2+ years!), i have the peace of mind to really unpack this. OFF was my companion for the late end of my teen years and more or less the whole of my current adulthood. the better - maybe even the best parts of my life - were (at least in part) shaped by adoration for and dedication to this game and its story. OFF survived the beginning and end of several friendships and relationships (romantic or otherwise) throughout my life, and i project it will survive many more - if not me, as a living human being. and i hope you understand that this is a lot to put into writing. can you imagine? something you did at 16 years old, because you were bored and liked a video game; a text someone else made, passed through you like a pamphlet - outgrowing you like that, becoming larger than you may ever be? i wrestle with that feeling frequently. some would grow resentful of the object of this kind of ruminating, especially as a writer and gamedev themselves- but i can't find it in me to ever hate OFF, no matter how often i hear about it; there simply is nothing like it. OFF has created several core memories that i can flash back to. i remember the knot in my stomach at its ending. i remember that it was time to sleep, and i remember staring at the ceiling, closing my eyes, and seeing void behind them, with white bedsheet ghosts floating there. i remember the resolve to translate it. i remember: "i have to show this to decon" (a friend that i've long since stopped speaking to). i remember isaiah (friend i lost touch with, number 2) asking me to keep working on the translation because he loved the game and wanted to know what happens in zone 2. i remember a vacation in france i mostly spent on a shoddy laptop my grandmother owned, on slow (maybe dial-up) internet, tinkering in RPG maker 2003, trying to make more headway in a language i only barely knew better than the one i was translating from. i remember this more than the majority of the relationship that introduced me to the game. that's sad to consider, isn't it? can a story be more significant than a person? i was very unwell for large parts of the time i spent working on this translation. i had dark thoughts; i feared impossible and possible things both. i was depressed, and i made very real attempts to turn the world in the only window i know - my eyes - off. permanently. and maybe- that is why OFF is larger than me. because in the negative space of its conclusion, in the turning of the final switch from ON to OFF, there lies a question: "is all this despair, all this hurt, all this misery and all of this unsolvable injustice of this world worth it?" and OFF, in my opinion, says: yes. or at least, for me it did. i'm not letting go of these memories, or of these stories, or of my adoration for this game. i love it more by the day. i owe a lot to it. this isn't a funeral, it's a celebration. thank you, OFF, and thank you, mortis ghost. i would not be here, i would not be this, and i would not be me without you.

[gay-wh0re-slut]

Hiiiiii THERE!!!!!!!!!

I love love loveeeeee everything your writing and would like to that the opportunity to thank you so much for your services! 🫡

I have a request if that’s okay…

Rhea x Fem Reader having had a fling now and then nothing serious besides a kiss or two. Reader has a toxic situationship she keeps going back to where the guy hurts her constantly as in not being faithful, but they still have make up smex in a constant cycle.

Rhea’s finds out about all of this through friends of a friend type situation. She confronts Reader one day to make you leave him. Reader basically confronts that she stays with him cuz he’s a man and she likes that masculine energy for security but there are hardly any good men left so she won’t bother leaving him in search of a new one. Rhea asks like what about a woman? and Reader laughs and says a woman can’t give her what a man can sexually. LOL

Rhea is upsets but sees the challenge..

Idk where I am going with this.. PLEASE, MAY WE GET HUGE STRAP ENERGY DOM RHEA PLEASE 🤭

Thank you so much❤️‍🔥

hehehe you’re welcome soldier🫡

but oh shit oh fuck this is so good…damn i have no words to describe how i feel rn this is crazy good thank you for the request seriously.

after writing: this is soooo incredibly long i’m sorry so get comfy haha

Teacher

rhea x fem!reader

content: talks of a toxic relationship before getting down and dirty with Mrs. Hot Goth Wrestler with a skilled tongue, good fingers and huge strap 😌

“We have to stop doing this,” she says out of breath.

“Yees,” you moan, “but not now.”

The two of you were in a one stall bathroom backstage, away from everyone. Rhea was feeling you up as she went back to kissing you roughly. Her hand travelled down to the zipper on your pants but you stopped her.

“Oh come on,” she tried to seduce you back into it.

“I can’t, I’m sorry,” you pushed her away a bit, “I’m sorry,” you wiped your mouth.

Her whole aura changed when you broke the kiss but she didn’t want to push you to do anything you didn’t want to do. She didn’t say anything which made you feel worse than you already did.

“I’ll uh… text you later,” you fixed your shirt that she had roughed up.

“Yeah,” she stepped out of your way.

You walked out of the bathroom hanging your head, feeling horrible.

Several months have passed and you are back with your ex, but you’ve been on and off the whole time. You swore you would never date a cheater but when it was good, it was so good. He treated you like a queen by giving you flowers all the time, setting up random dates and the sex was amazing. He worked you out better than anyone else and he knew it too and held it over your head.

It’s only been one time that he’s gone behind your back. You caught him sending pics to “The Pizza Palace”, so you screamed and yelled and cried then left him for a good few weeks before he came crawling back to you.

Your friends begged you not to go back to him but you couldn’t get over how good he was in bed and you were afraid you wouldn’t find anyone else who could love you.

“I’m so sorry baby, I promise I won’t do it again, I’m so sorry, I love you so so much. I was stupid and I couldn’t see that you were perfect for me. You’re the best thing that’s ever happened to me, I’m so sorry,” he cried.

As soon as you accepted his apology you had ground rules: whenever you were suspicious of his texts, he had to let you look; his location was on at all times; and you needed to know his work schedule.

But once a cheater, always a cheater and somehow he found a way to cheat on you again. You had enough and finally cut ties with him for good, or so you thought.

“Baby please, I’m so sorry, I can’t live without you. You’re my baby, I need you, I won’t do it again,” and you ended up right back in his bed.

This went on for a couple months and Rhea had kept trying to meet up with you again, but you pushed her away. She had no clue what was going on behind closed doors but she was going to find out. So she asked a mutual friend of yours when they went to lunch.

“You didn’t know?”

“She never told me anything,” the wrestler’s face was shocked.

“Oh yeah girl. He’s obviously mentally unwell himself and he’s taking it out on her by cheating and then asking to come back. The only reason she keeps going back is because ‘he’s a god in bed’, ” the friend air quoted.

“My god. No wonder why she’s been avoiding me,” Rhea was upset about the whole thing. Her mind was racing trying to figure out what she could do to help you out.

“I’ve been trying to tell her not to go back to him, but she won’t listen to me,” the friend said insinuating that Rhea could most definitely do something.

You haven’t talked to Rhea in a while, just some brief hello’s here and there as you passed her by. She kept her distance after you basically ghosted her but she couldn’t stay away for long.

“Hey,” Rhea texts you.

“Heyy,” you replied but you were on your couch a couple weeks after you got back with your ex, refreshing the maps for his location every second.

“Wanna get coffee tomorrow?” she asked not wanting to set off any alarming messages that she was basically having an intervention so she could get you alone.

“I’d love to! I’ve been thinking about you,” you weren’t lying, you did miss her but as a friend more than anything else.

“Perfect, 10 okay? At the one near your place?”

“I’ll be there!” you smiled at this small interaction but you couldn’t think about anything other than when he was going to get home.

The morning came and you were sat at a table in the coffee shop when you heard the door open for the australian.

“Hi!” she walked towards you displaying her arms for a hug.

You were engulfed by her muscles as she squeezed, “How’re you?” you questioned knowing something was up because she doesn’t usually hug you.

“Almost broke my clavicle last night but I’m good,” she chuckled rubbing on the bone, “how about you?”

“I’m doing okay,” you couldn’t lie to her, “there’s been some ups and downs but everything is good.”

“That’s okay,” she gestured towards the register.

Both of you waited in line talking about random things, ordered and went outside to sit.

“A little birdie told me you were back with your ex?” Rhea wasn’t one to dance around a subject.

You faked a laugh, “yeah,” was all you could say.

She took a sip, “and how’s that going?”

“It’s… good I guess. I’ve made some rules with him about his whereabouts and texts but nothing too crazy,” you took a drink to hide the awkwardness. You knew that she knew what had happened by the way she asked the question so you didn’t want to bore her with the details again.

“Yeah? Well that’s good, but you really should be trusting of your significant other you know,” her accent was calm but strong.

“I do!”

She threw you a look.

“To a point,” you cleared your throat, “He’s just so…” you balled your fists in front of her, “good.”

She rolled her eyes, “that shouldn’t be the reason that you should stay with him,” she took another sip to let that sit in the air, “there are other people that would kill to be with someone like you.”

“I know, I know. But I like having a man around you know? It makes me feel safer knowing that he’s there,” you smiled but your subconscious knew that it was a fake smile.

“Right,” her tone was stern, “have you even tried to find someone else?”

“Yeah!”

Another look.

“Okay fine, no I haven’t because every time I think I’m done with him and download a dating app, he comes crawling back.”

“Oh my god. You can’t keep going back to him,” her eyes were piercing into yours.

“I know, but he’s so kind and caring when he’s not in someone else’s bed,” you rolled your eyes as you sat back in your chair swirling the cup.

“Well,” Rhea sighed as she mirrored your movements, “have you…ever thought about being with a woman?” again, not one to beat around the bush.

“What!? No. I couldn’t. I don’t even know what to do with myself sometimes, let alone another woman,” you said nervously.

“Have you even tried it?”

“Well no, but-”

“Exactly. So,” the tattooed legs crossed, “leave him and find you a woman,” she smirked.

You were taken aback at her bluntness but you shouldn’t have expected anything less. “Are you…asking me on a date Ripley?”

“Not unless you want me to. As if you haven’t thought about it,” she chuckled.

“No, I mean- I like you but not like that,” you waved away her response. Well, maybe you could be with a woman, you thought. No! No… well…

“Uh huh,” she let you work it out for yourself for a minute before she brought you back in, “let me know the next time he cheats,” she snarls as she stands. “I have to get back to training,” as she pushed her chair in.

You looked at her in confusion at the sudden change in energy, “okay,” you stand and walk over to give her another awkward hug.

Though it was weird, she accepted. Holding you in place, she whispered in your ear, “Trust me, I can treat you much better…in and out of the bedroom.”

You let go of the hug as she smirked at you before she walked away. You watched her put her cup on top of the trash can by the food trays before walking towards her car.

“Fuck,” you whispered to yourself.

Not even a week passed and he went and cheated on you once more. You cried and screamed again as you finally walked out of the house for the last time. You sat in your car fumbling for your keys as you tried to call Rhea, “pick up, pick up, pick up,” you chanted between sobs.

“Hello?”

“Hey,” you sniffed, “Can I come over?”

You could feel her smirking her devilish smile behind the phone knowing she was saying ‘told you so’ to herself, “C’mon,” she said.

You sped over there and banged on the door.

“Damn, chill, the door didn’t cheat on you,” she opened the door but you pushed past her.

“Hey woah,” she closed it, locking it behind her, “sorry about the joke but-”

You threw your wallet and keys on the kitchen table as she followed you in as you cut her off with your finger, “don’t say you told me so because I already know, but you got in my head and now I can get you out,” you dropped your hand.

She confidently leaned herself on the counter, “Well,” she shrugged as she gestured to herself smirking.

“Stop it,” you slammed yourself down on a chair.

“I’m kidding! I am sorry that he cheated on you though…again,” she tried to hide her giggles.

“Rhea please,” you wiped your nose with a napkin that was neatly stacked in the middle of the table, “I know I’m dumb for going back to him but when it was good it was good, okay? It wasn’t just the sex even though it may seem like it,” you broke down again.

She immediately stopped feeling proud of herself and started feeling sad for you. She hated seeing you hurt but she knew that she had to be the voice of reason right now. She sighed as she sat across from you, rubbing your arm, “is there anything you need me to do?”

“Beat his ass?” you joked.

She laughed, “I don’t need a lawsuit, but I would if I could.”

You blew your nose then crumpled up the napkin, “Remember what you said at the coffee shop?”

“When?” she knew exactly when.

“When you hugged me. Did you mean it?”

“Oh…yeah,” she said casually as her muscular arms crossed leaning back in the chair.

“Could you-”

“You wanna do it right now?” her eyes widened, “yeah, no. What we are gonna do,” she stood, “is run you a shower for as long as you need, to get him off of you, use whatever you want in there, and then,” she pulled you out of the chair walking you to her bathroom, “we can talk about what happens next.”

“Okay,” as you stepped inside the bathroom.

You were in there for probably 45 minutes. You stepped out with a towel wrapped around you, your hair dripping with some left over eyeliner stuck on your eyes, but you didn’t care too much.

“Clothes are on my bed,” she shouted from the kitchen before she walked out with two glasses of wine, setting them on the coffee table.

You changed into one of her big tshirts and sweatpants, then joined her on the couch, “Thank you,” you said weakly.

“Don’t worry about it, I’ll always be here for you. Now, did you think about anything specific you wanted to talk about?” she handed you the wine glass.

“Mm,” you took a sip, “I’m not sure how to word this,” you became embarrassed.

“Try your best,” her hand landed on your thigh as she turned to sit criss-cross facing you.

“How does it…work?” was the best you could do.

“How does what work?” her eyebrows scrunched in confusion.

You bit your lips trying to muster up the courage but decided there was nothing left to lose, “sex…with a woman,” your face turned red.

“Oh!” she chuckled gently slapping her hand on your thigh, “the same as with a man but it’s more enjoyable and much hotter,” she winked.

“But there’s no-”

“There is, it’s just… silicone,” now Rhea’s face was a bit red but not for the same reason, “But there’s plenty other ways to get the job done.”

“Oh,” you blinked as your mind tried to figure it out.

She took another big sip, followed by a big sigh, “did you think of anything else? I know today’s been a lot so we don’t have to talk if you don’t want to. And you’re more than welcome to stay the night if you need to, plenty of room,” she gave you a sincere smile.

“Not really,” you picked up your legs onto the couch and hugged them, “and thank you, we’ll see what happens,” you finish your wine.

“For sure,” she finishes hers too and gets off the couch. She gestured towards you silently asking if you want another, but you shook your head no, so she took your glass with her into the kitchen.

She came back out and sat back down in the same position.

“Thank you,” you said again.

“For what?”

“For being here.”

“Anytime,” her eyes were staring into yours, twinkling in the sunset light coming from the window. She looked so beautiful in this light, was it because she actually did or because you were heart broken, again, and you needed a distraction? Whatever it was, you made a quick decision.

So you cupped her face with your hand and gently kissed her. She easily fell into it but broke it off gently.

“Are you sure you want to start this? Because I won’t be able to stop,” she was sure of herself.

“Yes,” you tried to kiss her again but she backed away.

“Because I know you’re just doing this to feel as though you’re getting back at him. And I don’t want to be used as a distraction so I need to know if you actually want to go through with this,” she was calm but stern with her words, wanting to make sure you understood.

“Ever since, whatever we had back then, I haven’t been able to stop thinking about you. I think he was the distraction from you,” the light bulb went off in your head as you said this, because it was true. Rhea always made you feel loved and appreciated no matter what.

Her mouth fell open slightly as she took in this new revelation, “Never thought of it that way,” she cleared her throat.

“So yes, I want to go through with this. Mainly because I want to see if you can keep your promise,” you smirked.

“Ah ah, I didn’t promise anything,” she pointed, “but I can definitely prove it.”

“Then prove it, teach me the ways,” you tried to think of anything else to say but it came out before you could stop it, “of lesbian sex.”

“Please don’t ever say that again,” she scoffed.

“Sorry,” you hid your face.

“You should be, that was weird.”

“Yeah, oops,” you chuckled.

“So, you sure you want to go through with this because,” she cocked an eyebrow and smirked as she shrugged, “I’m pretty good if I do say so myself.”

“Alright alright, calm down,” you smiled putting your hand up to stop her. You took a deep breath and took a second to think about everything, “I want to do it.”

“Finally,” the wrestler breathed as she grabbed your face and smashed your lips together. It wasn’t like you haven’t kissed her before, but it was different this time. There was yearning and lust and you wanted more of it.

Small moans came from the both of you as your hands glided up her bare thighs, prying at the edge of her booty shorts. Her hands moved to your waist to pull you closer but you decided to straddle her instead.

“A little desperate, are we?” she guided your hips down onto her lap.

“Sshhh,” as you kissed her again. Now her hands were gliding on your thighs. After a few moments, her hands found their way under your, well her shirt, and felt up your back pulling you in tighter. You arched your back into her with a low whine. Her nails dug into your back sending shockwaves through your body and directly to your core.

You gently began to grind your hips and she took the opportunity to put her hands on your ass and guide you through it. Moaning into the kisses, you ran your hand through her hair while the other kept your balance on the back of the couch.

She snuck one of her hands to the front of the waistband playing with it, “can I…”

“Yeah,” you said quietly, you were nervous but you’ve never felt safer.

She slowly slipped her hand underneath and began to gently caress your hot center with just a layer of fabric separating her hand from you.

“Shit,” you whined.

“You okay?” she caught your gaze.

“Mhmm,” you bit your lip.

Drawing small gentle circles on your sensitive bud, your hips jerked a bit as you let out a small whimper. You tried to cover it by kissing her again.

“Don’t hold back,” she whispered, “It’s hot.”

You were still weary but thankful she said something. So you nod in response before resting your head on her shoulder. Her pace had gotten faster now and you were riding her hand in perfect unison. “Mmmfuck,” you threw your head back.

You removed your hand from her hair to meet with hers in the sweatpants. You stopped her hand and moved it under the one layer that was blocking her. You removed your hand but she got the message immediately. She ran her fingers over your wet folds picking up what had been oozing out of you before going back to her pace.

You moaned as your head fell back onto her shoulder, breathing heavily. She twisted her head and started to kiss your neck before ever so slightly biting. Your moans became more frequent and the pressure was quickly beginning to rise.

“Fuck, I’m gonna-”

“Don’t say it…just do it,” her voice was deep in your ear.

And with that, the pressure released, “Oh GOD,” you yelled as you threw your head back once more. She kept her pace and let you ride it out.

After an about a minute she removed her hand, “you okay?”

You were breathing heavily into her neck, “yeah,” as you sat up.

“Good because we’re not done yet,” and she easily picked you up carrying you to her room and onto her bed. She set you down gently, “totally up to you, but on a scale of one to ten, how rough-”

“Seven,” you blurted out a little too quickly.

“Hm,” she stood above you with her hands on her hips, “so what do you…”

“Oh, uhm,” your face turned redder than it was. You never had this conversation with your ex he just kinda did what he wanted, “I’m… not sure.”

“Do you like when someone talks you through it?”

You thought about it, “yes.”

“Do you like being praised or no?”

You thought again but longer this time, “I’m not sure.”

“We can try both and see what happens,” she said casually, “What about choking?”

“Oh yeah for sure,” you didn’t have to think about that one.

“Okay,” she chuckled, “obviously you’re a pillow princess.”

You acted surprised, “how’d you know?”

“I could tell,” she laughed. “Are you okay to start again?” her tone became serious.

You readjusted your position, placing your hands in your lap neatly, “Yes ma’am.”

“Ooh, I like that,” she cooed. “Now get comfy, princess,” as she pointed to the pillows behind you.

So you scooted back a bit and laid down on the bed. You watched as she crawled menacingly on top of you. The tattooed hand slid up your torso and to your neck turning your head to the side and holding it in place. She ran her tongue up your neck, sending a shiver through your body. Your hands were carefully placed on her sides just to have something to hold on to.

She kissed down your jaw, to your mouth before making eye contact with you, “Anything he could do, I can do better,” she growled.

You couldn’t say anything you were so turned on now. Never in a million years did you think you would be in this situation. So you smiled devilishly in response.

“Promise,” she tacked on before going back to your neck. She sat up and tugged at the waistband of the sweat pants, “Can I take these off?”

“You can do anything you want,” you finally admitted.

“Don’t tell me that,” she smirked.

“I’m serious,” your tone was stern as you caught her icy blue eyes with yours.

Her eyes flicked up and down your body, “okay,” her voice graveled.

She easily slipped the pants off of you but you took it a step further and took the shirt off too, leaving you in nothing but underwear.

She was surprised but her energy quickly changed. Her eyes filled with hunger as she looked over your body taking in every inch. It didn’t take long for her to spread your legs to begin to kiss on your thighs.

You whimpered at her touch as your hands flew to her hair, holding it out of her way. Kissing her way up your thighs, moving from one to the other with every other peck, she looked at you as she landed one on your soaked center.

You moaned catching her gaze as she smiled into another kiss. You writhed under her as she continued to touch everywhere but where you needed her most. You were over it so you pushed her head away.

“What-”

“Just,” you threw off your underwear as quickly as possible, “fucking go for it, please.”

“I thought I was teaching you?” she joked.

“Please, please, just fuck me,” you begged.

“So desperate,” she said slyly.

“God, please Rhea,” you were basically whining at this point.

“I don’t know, I like hearing you beg,” she smoothed her hands over your thighs.

You did whine a little, gently hitting your fists on the bed, “Ugh! Pleeaase!!”

She scoffed before she dove her head back down. Her tongue smoothed over your wet folds immediately.

You gasped, “fuck, yesss,” as you picked up your legs, folding at the knees.

She held your hips in place as her tongue worked its magic. She hummed into you, causing your body to shiver again at the vibrations. She skillfully flicked her tongue over your clit before lapping you up again.

The noises coming out of you were something you didn’t think would happen but you let them come anyway. Moans and whines filled the room as she continued. The knot inside of you returned, causing you to ride her face.

She smiled into your movements holding you tighter. She kept her pace steady as your hips jerked against her, “shit…ffffuck,” you moaned. Just a few more moments and you were coming once again. You yelled in pleasure as she forced your legs open to stop you from suffocating her, she didn’t stop though, letting you finish out your high.

Once you came down, she kissed her way up to your mouth, “you taste so…” she thought about it, “delicious,” and kissed your mouth. You could taste yourself against her but you didn’t mind. She was right, she was doing everything better than he was.

“I think you’re ready to turn it up a notch, yeah?” she said as she slinked off of you and went to the closet.

You covered your eyes with your hands trying to think of what she meant. You couldn’t believe you were here with her of all people. THE Rhea Ripley, pleasing you, making you feel safe, giving you everything you need and more. You were afraid you were in love with her.

The door clicked open, “Close your eyes,” she said before walking out.

“Okay,” your hands fully covered your eyes now as you heard her walk towards you, then felt her crawl onto the bed above you once more.

“Don’t peek,” she said as she felt you up once more, running her hands over your hot skin. She slid them up your torso and to your breasts, gently running her thumb over your nipples. Your back arched into her touch. She maneuvered herself between your legs, “such a pretty sight.”

Another shockwave went through your body as you heard those words, you didn’t know you liked praise until this moment.

“You liked that, huh?”

“Mhmm,” you tried to remove your hands.

“Nuh uh, I said no peeking,” she started to draw small circles on your clit again with her thumb, “you’ve been such a good girl…”

You whimpered into her touch, arching your back a bit.

“But I’d like to see you,” her tone became harsh, “be a slut,” and she pressed harder into you.

“Fuck,” you whined.

“Good to know you liked that too,” her fingers danced at your entrance before easily pushing inside of you.

You slammed your hands onto the bed gripping onto the sheets as you arched your back, “FUCK,” you screamed.

She slowly pumped her fingers in and out of you holding one of your thighs open. She kept her steady pace watching you squirm at her touch. You didn’t dare open your eyes but you could feel her staring.

“You’re doing so well for me,” she purred.

You moaned at her praise, hearing her deep chuckle in response. She picked up her pace gradually until she was satisfied, and stayed like that for a few minutes.

As more whines fell out of you, you barely noticed her moving into a different position on top of you until she pulled her fingers out, “Look,” was all she said.

So you fluttered your eyes open, “holy fuck,” you breathed as you watched her suck her fingers clean. But what really caught your eye was what she was wearing: a strap.

“Don’t worry, you can take it, easy,” as she lined it up with your dripping entrance. But first she picked up your legs and folded you in half, “You ready princess?”

“Fuck yes,” you groaned.

She smiled as she guided it into you slowly, letting you get used to it.

“Yessss god…Holy fuck,” you moaned when she started to slowly pump in and out of you.

“You okay?” she reassured.

“Never better,” you choked out.

“Thought so,” she smirked. Quickly picking up the pace, “Bet he never made you feel this good, huh?”

“N-never,” your eyes were in the back of your head.

She was now plunging into you at an ungodly pace, “too bad he never got to see how good of a slut you are.”

The praise mixed with degradation was driving you insane, and she was right. He never treated you this well and you loved every second of it and she could tell too. Your tits were bouncing, your eyes were rolled and your legs were shaking. She was hitting you just right, “Oh god, Rhea!” you whined.

She loved hearing you say her name. She was enjoying the view as much as you were enjoying her. The bed began to squeak as she pounded into you. One of her hands snuck its way around your legs and to your neck, gently squeezing around it. Your hand gripped her wrist as you smiled devilishly at her.

“Be a good girl and cum for me, princess,” she huffed.

“Go…faster,” you choked out.

“Such a fucking whore,” she barked, but she grabbed your calves with either hand and pushed your legs father down, completely folding you in half. She took a deep breath and began to pound into you so hard and so fast that you lost your breath.

“YES,” you screamed and after a few more seconds, “FU-U-U-UCKK!!” and you came again. But that didn’t slow her down.

She kept her insane pace, “C’mon baby…one more,” she demanded, “I know you got it in you.”

Whimpering at every push into you, it didn’t take long to the pressure to rise again, “OH FUCK, YESS���GOD, RHEA,” and once again, you came but this time your whole body shook and your legs fell weak under her.

She finally slowed her pace and gently pulled out of you. Your body fell limp as she slid off of you smiling and breathing heavily.

You caught your breath, “four times,” you rested your hands on your forehead, “four…times.”

“I never break my promises.”

[v3nusxsky]

Hi

could u pls to a smut oneshot with lady lesso with prompts 29 and 52 it’s the readers first time with her. Possibly adding in overstim and aftercare.

Princess 18+

*Authors note~ Lesso smut has returned god I’ve missed writing! I love being back into my happy space and writing fics for all our favourite ladies*

Trigger warnings~ overstimulation kink multiple orgasms, orgasm denial, dom!lesso, daddy kink, bondage, mirror sex, sex toys (vibrator and enhanced strap on), dirty talk/sexting/nudes teasing, fingering!, oral, fem!good!reader, power dynamics (good vs evil), somnophillia (consented before)

Prompt~ see ask^^^^

52~ "Look at your reflection. Look at how gorgeous you are. So gorgeous when I'm fucking you like this. So pretty for me, and only me.

29~ "Want my fingers in you?"

•••••••••(Banner to come)•••••••••••

You’ve always been a firm believer that the line between good and evil is never as clear cut as people perceive it to be. For you, it’s more a spectrum that people move up and down on, not something to define someone’s character. After all the phrase “what’s another man’s trash is another man’s treasure” has to mean something. Right. Perhaps that’s why you, of all the princess professors to enter the walls of the school for good and evil, caught Leonora’s eye. Fate. Destiny. Or just pure luck would have it that you’d soon become her princess. The one she would try to be better for, to move up the spectrum of good and evil. But even you should know that the red head wouldn’t be able to be purely good all the time. No. She limited that side, the almost cruel sadistic side of her, to the bedroom only. Was she evil for this? You were about to find out.

The special chime of Leonora’s phone sounded around her office. You. Only you had that chime. But why would you be texting her knowing how she had a meeting with all the staff to attend now. “I’m sorry daddy, I just get so turned on thinking about the last time” was what it read with a video underneath. At first pixelated but it soon became clear. Here you were wearing nothing but wine red rope, tied in intricate patterns while holding your favourite vibratior to your clit. Your phone in front of the mirror allowing lesso to not only hear but see every reaction to your self care. Teasingly running your fingers down your body to spread your folds apart, your arousal just leaking out of your puffy lips. Clearly this wasn’t the first self induced orgasm of the day.

Instinctively the red head chewed on her ruby lip as she replayed the video. God you were something. However did she get so lucky? But something lying dormant in the woman screamed to be let out, to put an end to this foolish attempt to prove dominance over her. Simply, this beast wouldn’t take this lying down at all. Fingers as quick as lighting typed her response before shoving the small black device in her pocket of her waistcoat and left for her meeting, “be naked when I get back home dove.”

Two whole hours. She had to wait two whole hours before leaving the school. And in those two hours you’d gifted yourself three more self inflicted orgasms before passing out in your bed naked. That’s exactly how she found you when she returned. Blissfully unaware of what you’d caused.

Your right leg position at a right angle as your left leg lay flat against the covers, your arousal still thick in the air as you unknowingly left your core on show to her preying eyes. Really, it’s not her fault. At least that’s how she reasons with herself. You’d spoke about her waking you up this way, something you wanted to try, and what better excuse than today. Falling asleep like this was asking for it after all. Practically begging her to take advantage of you. Her poor innocent princess.

It took less than a minute for Leonora to position herself between your legs. Now eye level with your pussy she couldn’t help but dive in. Her precious little dove all ready for her to take. Eating you out from behind like a starved animal. No matter how many women she’d had in her bed, no one could ever compare to the taste of you. The scent of you. Just you. Hers. The way your body responds to the ghost like touch of her hands trailing your body as she lapped away at your glistening folds. The sleepy little moans that only she could hear. Hers. And to think you had yet to wake up, to find her home where she always wanted to be.

“M Nora?” You mumbled disoriented and dazed by the delightful feeling of someone’s mouth working at your sensitive bundle of nerves. The only response you were given was the fee of her teeth grazing your clit in a silent reminder. “Daddy!” You almost squeaked in shock and pleasure to but cut short with your displeased whine at the sensations she provided stopping dead. “Oh no was my poor princess getting close hmm? Did you like daddy waking you up little slut?”

Oh did you ever. With how your chest rose and fell and the pretty blush on your cheeks spreading to your breasts being all clear indications of how much you liked it. That’s ignoring the copious amounts of slick now covering your folds and her chin and lips. “Daddy why’d you stop” flew from your pouty lips before you had a chance to think about it. “Because my princess is a grade A whore who can’t help but touch what is clearly mine. You. Are. Mine. And you must be punished dove.”

At least you’d had the decency to cover your sleepy features with an attempt to look ashamed of your actions. But deep down you both knew that this was exactly what you wanted to happen. You wanted to rile her up, push her buttons and get well and truly fucked. Strutting around the room the dean of evil tied you to the bed frame in record time. Now lying flat on your back arms and legs spread. Cunt on full display as her eyes raked over your beautiful body.

“Want my fingers in you? Hmm do you want daddy to fill that slutty little hole for you?” She teased knowing that it wasn’t everything you wanted. See Leonora knows her princess. You need more than her fingers to feel like worlds exploding. But she also knows that her fingers can get you most the way there. Many nights had passed with her testing how far her fingers alone would push you into pleasure. “Fingers or nothing princess” was all it took for you to begin to plead for her to touch you. Anything really, “please daddy. Please just touch me. It never feels good unless you do it please.”

She couldn’t help but be mesmerised with how well you took her. Your greedy little pussy sucking my fingers into your weeping little hole. She’d chuckle when a harsh curl of her slender digits against your G spot had you gasping for breath. “More. More please god more Nora” you whimpered as your hips continued to buck up into her skilled hand to once again be denied. “Poor dove. My poor useless little princess. You need daddy huh? Want to be daddy’s play thing? My precious doll? Let daddy use your slutty body and take what you’re given.”

Time really is a concept when your girlfriend is Leonora Lesso. Your whole body bound and marked up at her will. Orgasms ruined by her demand until tears streamed down your checks as you babbled out incoherent please and whimpers. Lesso would be lying if she said you didn’t turn her on to the max. You were just so pretty. Her pretty princess. Even crying so prettily just for her. God it turned her on. A beautiful princess all for her to use.

“Shhh okay princess, daddy will give you what you want now. So pretty dove. Daddy has just what you crave sweetheart” lesso murmured while she shredded the last few remaining articles of clothing. When had the rest gone? You weren’t sure, too lost in chasing the orgasm she wouldn’t allow you to have. Wide eyes taking in the new appendage between your lovers legs, “d-daddy?” You stuttered confused. How ? More so, you wanted it. In your mouth, in your hand and more importantly burried inside your cunt as she crawled up to ensure her crotch was level with your mouth. “Oh princess you like what daddy has for you hmm? Come be a good little cock slut and make it nice and wet for daddy. Repay me for turning me on for hours while I was working. Come earn your pleasure darling.”

Despite the fact that lesso was now adorning a life like dick, she was moaning and grunting like she could feel the way you’d hallowed your cheeks to take her further. The head of the cock touching the back of your throat as you gaged around the shaft. Slender hand gripping a make shift pony tail in your hair as she guided your head along the length just long enough to edge herself. Not only does she love to edge her dove, but receiving edging was also something she adored. “Out! Now. I want to be inside of you now. She demanded quickly manoeuvring herself to be between your thighs once more.

You felt every inch slip inside your snug walls. Every ridge hugged by every pulse of your pussy. “Take it princess. Take it for daddy” she grunted as the last inch sunk into your tight warmth. “Such a slut, just made for me. Sophie tight I can hardly move with how you’re gripping me. Fuck.” She grunted as she slowly pulled out of you to slam back inside. Mesmerising herself with how your walls sucked her back in. How well you fit together. As one. Hers.

As if it couldn’t get any better, vibrations began to fill the room with a constant buzz. Inhuman sounds began to work their way from your body as you bucked like a wild horse into her thrusts. "Look at your reflection princess . Look at how gorgeous you are. So gorgeous when I'm fucking you like this. So pretty for me, and only me. Mine” she growled forcing you to turn your head towards the fall length mirror. Watching as you joined as one. “Daddy need to please god please need it” you jumbled up your desperate pleas as she finally gave you the permission to cum for her. The orgasm being everything you needed and wanted. Blissed out by the pleasure she was bestowing on you. Only, she didn’t stop. No. She continued to fuck into you until finally she was satisfied. “Good fucking girl princess” she whispered before slipping out of your now gapping quivering hole, “such a good girl for daddy. My best princess.” She used her magic to free you and clean you up before whispering praises and holding you close for the remainder of the night. Her girl. Her princess. Her love. Her dove.

Word count ~ 1879

[wouldvelovedmewheniwassoft]

help keep a queer disabled system couple from breaking NC with my rapist ❤️‍🩹

(CW: parental abuse/familial trauma, death from cancer, alcoholism, domestic violence, homelessness, sui + hospitalization, incest/rape, victim-blaming, abandonment + gaslighting by a toxic friend, harassment involving police, disordered eating)

please don't tag my post. proof of situation provided in imgur album.

i've held off on publicly asking for help beforehand, as i know there are many people in more dire circumstances right now. but i'm at a point where it's absolutely necessary.

i moved out of state to live with my partner system (we both have DID) in March of this year. we already planned to live together, but circumstances forced me to escape and go NC (no contact) with my remaining family for my safety.

i lived in my childhood home for my whole life until this year. my parents and extended family have always been abusive, but things escalated after my mom passed from Stage 4 lung cancer. my father started deteriorating after her diagnosis in 2018, and since her death in 2022, our relationship is no longer salvageable.

his alcoholism worsened significantly, resulting in multiple instances of him driving home drunk, collapsing, and almost being charged with a DUI. he hasn't hit me since i was 13, but he's acted domestically violent by slamming and hitting things whenever i've angered him. he threatened me with homelessness twice for being suicidal (once after a four day hospitalization, once after an attempted overdose), knowing full well i had no resources at the time and would've ended up on the streets. i attempted to escape last year, but my paternal aunt purposefully sabotaged it, forcing me to stay in an unsafe situation and suffer quietly. my mother's family abandoned me in 2020, and they no longer accept me (specifically for being queer/trans, disabled, and a vocal leftist), so they wouldn't help even if i wanted to resume contact.

it took over a year to move out due to my father controlling every aspect of my life with the justification of me being disabled. i tried to get his blessing for me to move in with my partner; but he refused to let me leave him, and he made it clear his disapproval of my relationship was because he didn't want me to have any autonomy outside of him.

the breaking point came after three days of nonstop verbal and emotional/mental abuse from him over an argument he started; everything culminated in him raping me while i was incapacitated. both my best friend of three years and their partner offered for me to crash at their apartment while my partner planned to get me. they also escorted me to a sexual assault center in my state to get a rape kit done.

i burned nearly every bridge in the process, as the people who could help me sided with him. but i didn't anticipate my friends to abandon me, too. they spent my last three days with them coercing me into changing my escape plan and dismissing my visible distress at how doing so would jeopardize my safety. less than 12 hours before we left, my best friend abandoned me via text, saying they'd refuse to help me if i didn't get police involved. anything i said in response resulted in gaslighting from them, mainly using therapy speak of "boundaries" and "triggers" to justify their actions. i cut contact with them after my partner told me they planned to drop me from the start (they told my partner this in a phone call while i was out) and discovering a cruel vague post they made after i last texted them. the last time i ever reached out was to send them money to get through their own situation.

since then, my partner and i have struggled financially. they're currently one write-up away from being fired, and their supervisor has always been volatile, so confronting him or going to anyone else at their job will do nothing. they've gotten help from their grandparents, but they're similarly abusive and unaccepting of them for the same reasons, so it hurts them to beg them even if they're unable to go NC right now.

i'm unable to reapply for disability, and previously lucrative sources of passive income have currently dried up. i'm waiting for orientation to be scheduled so i can start my new job, but we've financially suffered in the meantime. my account was charged off, and i only just now paid off a month's worth of PayPal debt; most of the debt came from paying off medical bills after i was injured in late April (currently contemplating pursuing legal compensation but nothing's set in stone).

i had to break NC twice for my father to help, but it's been triggering both times. i had to block his number before due to him harassing me via call/text, and he made me talk to police twice by falsely reporting me missing.

i cannot risk breaking NC again if my future job falls through or my partner loses theirs. we both had to skip meals several times within the past month to keep from buying food, so it's gotten scary already.

anything you can send helps. if you're unable to, PLEASE share this wherever you can. i also do writing commissions, so DM me to know my rates and what i'm willing to write.

ca | pp | vm

imgur album

(edit 6/18/24: created a new imgur album link; had no idea why the first one was inaccessible, but hopefully this is better formatted and contains additional context)

[lumosinlove]

Day Two of @oknutzy-week-2024 !!

Write Me In

Finn O’Hara, the lead singer of Night Swimming, the band that tops charts year after year, has an interview set with music’s top writer, Leo Knut. The whole thing will take place over one week at the locations and times of Finn’s choosing. Leo’s not freaking out. He definitely hasn’t had a crush on Finn since he was sixteen. Logan Tremblay, the band’s drummer, definitely had nothing to do with Leo realizing he liked boys.

Leo’s to go see the concert and then do the first part of the interview after the show. Only, when he’s shown back to Finn’s dressing room for the first interview, Leo definitely opens the door at the wrong moment. Because there is Finn O’Hara, heartthrob to people everywhere, kissing his drummer, Logan Tremblay.

Leo had gone through too many outfits. His bedroom floor back at his apartment was a mess of his clothes. The problem was that he didn’t know where they were going. Where would Finn O’Hara want his interview done? He was in the middle of a massive world tour so they could end up anywhere from his dressing room to his private jet. That had happened to Leo before. He’d gotten right on the plane with the star and then be left at their destination to get himself home.

They could go to one of New York City’s number one restaurants—Paps were always catching Finn at Nobu and Via Carota—or it could be one of the apartments he kept. It could be a damn night club for all Leo knew. You didn’t wear the same clothes to Via Carota as a night club. Well. Some people did, he guessed.

Finally, and only cut off by the prospect of being late, Leo stepped out of his building’s elevator in slim fitted slacks and a white button-down, open at the collar. If he needed to dance, he’d undo a few buttons and dance. Otherwise, his sleeves were cuffed just below his elbows and his blond curls were cooperating perfectly. At least he had that going for him. The other variable had been his bag. Usually he carried his leather cross-body with his laptop and notebook. He didn’t want his laptop at a club—or a restaurant, to be honest. He’d settled on folding his sunglasses into his shirt and slipping a pocket-sized notebook into his trousers along with his phone.

The only thing he knew for certain was that he was going to get to see the concert first. And he was being cool about it. Completely professional.

Not thinking about the posters he’d had on his bedroom wall when he was sixteen. He wasn’t. His mom had sent him the picture of him grinning like a lunatic at Finn O’Hara’s first world tour. He wasn’t thinking about it. Not at all.

From his back pocket, his phone began to buzz. His assistant, Cassie.

“Hey, any chance you know where the hell I’m going?” he asked.

“Ten bucks you cry.”

Leo closed his eyes. “Jesus Christ.”

“Or go completely speechless.”

“I am an adult.”

“You cry when we pass those pet stores with puppies in the window.”

“I am a compassionate adult, Cas. Now where—”

“You’re going to the show!”

“I mean after,” Leo asked. “Any word from Finn—from O’Hara’s team? Where are we doing this thing?”

“How many outfits did you try on?”

Leo hung up.

The venue was much what he expected. Finn had five albums out with a much anticipated sixth one coming sometime this year. The June night was cool as Leo fell into the masses headed to Metlife Stadium. His magazine had said they’d send a car, but Leo opted for the trains. Maybe they were a pain, but so was traffic. And besides, this way, Leo would get to see the fans. Finn’s real fame had come with his second album, titled Bring The Stars, and he’d only gotten bigger with his third, Red&Gold, so there were many a star-studded dresses and golden, shimmering outfits. Leo stuck out sorely in his black and white. He texted Cassie.

Maybe I should have been more festive.

She replied immediately. I’ve seen your heartthrob O’Hara shirt. An emoji that had its tongue sticking out quickly followed.

Not helpful.

He talked to a few of the fans. One girl who had drawn gold stars all over her body. A boy wore a shirt that read I’M THE STARS, TAKE ME over a strong chest. It was a rather touching lyric in Finn’s song, but on the shirt it looked like a pick-up line and made Leo smile and write it down.

At the venue, he was lead straight to the VIP tent with his press pass, and was handed about four lanyards that would keep him there, allow him to go between the viewing tent and the VIP bar, and another that would later let him backstage. The woman who gave them to him promised to fetch him sometime after the encore. Then he was presented with a Finn&Tonic.

“Oh, I’m working.”

The woman smiled. “For the next two hours, you’re watching a concert.”

True enough, Leo thought. His inner teenager was whirling at the very manufactured idea that Finn had created this drink for him. He was sure anyone over twenty-one in the stadium was feeling the same.

“I tried to get Finnarita to happen, but no-go.”

Leo turned towards the voice at his shoulder and froze. He stared. He opened his mouth. He thought about speaking. The red hair, the brown eyes. It looked—well, almost how Leo imagined. Then again, he’d never seen Finn up close before. God, he was so much sturdier than his posters made him out to be. His chest and arms were pushing out against his t-shirt. Leo needed to not be looking at his chest. He should say hello. He should say something.

“What are you doing here?” he blurted out. He looked towards the stage where the opening act had just come on.

There was a laugh from beside him and when Leo looked back over, a hand was being extended. Without thinking, Leo took it.

“I’m watching the show.” The winning smile turned secretive. “I know what you’re thinking, and I’m sorry to disappoint, but I’m just the brother. Alex.”

Oh. Of course. That’s what was off.

“Oh,” Leo said. “Oh my God.”

Alex laughed harder. He shrugged.

“I’m so sorry, I didn’t mean—” Leo let out a laugh because something about Alex made it feel like he could. “You probably get that all the time.”

“People think we’re twins. Always have. I’m used to it.”

“Well, I’m Leo.” After a beat, Leo did what he hated to do. “And I am under an obligation to tell you right now that you’re speaking to press.”

Alex nodded. He was probably thinking up some excuse to walk away. Whatever. Leo was used to that. No one wanted a random quote ending up in the wrong place.

“I know who you are,” Alex said instead. “I loved your piece on poetry in pop.”

Leo only just managed to swallow a sip of his drink around his surprise. “Oh? Thank you. It was a fun one. Listen, I still feel bad about nearly freaking out on you.”

“Ha, don’t worry. I mean, it’s a good thing you’re a fan—you are, I take it?”

“Yes. I mean, yes.”

“Well.” Alex nodded to his nearly empty drink then to the VIP bar. “You can join me for a drink later to make up for it.”

“Sure, of course.” The words came out of his mouth, but as Alex grinned and turned towards the bar, all of the heat rushed to Leo’s face.

He wasn’t positive, but he was fairly sure he was being hit on by Finn O’Hara’s big brother. Either that, or scoped out to make sure he was worthy of writing the story. Or he was being nice?

Leo gave up on thinking and watched Alex’s shoulders walk away.

There was a little menu in the tent and Leo glanced at it, trying to picture Alex O’Hara buying him a drink—and kissing him. The list was funny. Album themes. Song titles. Maybe he’d let Alex buy him a Rum & Gold.

Then, it was all Finn. He came out onto stage like something from one of Leo’s fantasies. He wore dark jeans and a green tank top that read LUCKY ME—a hit single off of the second album. Leo had died for that song in high school…He still did.

I watch you fill your cup with sugar,

Waitress asks 'what will it be?’ 

In this world of ‘order up!’ 

Babe, you let me rest ease-y

I just say lucky me

I just say lucky me

“You know, I grew up here.” Finn’s voice echoed through the stadium after that song—it was quite a contrast. Lucky Me got more and more sexy with every verse. The diner waitress and I watch you fill your cup with sugar soon turned into Let me fill you up with sugar, let me drown in sweet and sweat. Leo wanted to know who in Finn’s life took their coffee sickly sweet.

“It’s the best city in the world,” Finn was saying. “Oh, and hey, my big brother’s here tonight! Everyone say Hiii, Alex-aaaa-nder!”

Alex got a thunderous hello and Finn—Finn was looking right at the VIP tent. Right at Alex. Who was standing right next to Leo again.

For a second, Leo swore Finn was looking at him. He felt those brown eyes, and when Finn smiled, lighting up every screen in the place, Leo felt that, too. He started to sweat, to blush. He was no better than anyone else in this crowd.

He swore, he swore, Finn was still looking at him when he raised his microphone to his mouth and said. “So many beautiful people here tonight…” Then he raised a hand. “You guys ready?”

He let them cheer, he tilted his head back and basked in it, the strong lines of his throat and jaw on complete display.

In a low, deadly rasp, Finn said, “Let me hear you, Lo.”

When he dropped his hand in a powerful fist, the drums kicked to life behind him.

Lo. It was only then that Leo managed to tear his eyes away from Finn. Three beats answered Finn’s words and the spotlight swung to Logan behind his kit.

Leo was going to die. He’d vastly overestimated his ability to keep his focus while doing this assignment. How was he supposed to remember his own name, much less how to write, when Logan Tremblay was sat there sweating through a clinging gray t-shirt, his brown hair curling up around a backwards black hat. Logan started up a beat that Leo would recognize anywhere. Their song I See Red had come out last year and Leo had been most intrigued because it was the first time Logan had sung alone on parts of a song. Although Finn sang most of it, Leo had played it over and over again for the parts that Logan sang. His voice was slightly deeper than Finn’s, the vowels influenced by his French-Canadian accent.Then there was the part when, like in Lucky Me, they traded beats and lyrics. The stadium went mad, though, when Logan began to sing his verse. Nothing but him and his drums.

I see red in my dreams.

Pressed against me,

Hard and gently,

Making me see.

Meant to be.

Two beats.

I see Red breaking free.

Looking at me

Breathing, ready,

No make believe.

Meant to be.

He went right into the bridge and the way he sang it—it was like Leo had never listened to the song at all until this moment. The way his body moved as he pounded the drums. Finn joined in, harmonizing and grinning wildly. The crowd had no care for the melody—they screamed the lyrics with Logan and the lights flashed every time his sticks hit his drums.

Red in my dreams getting all over me,

Sweat in my eyes please say you’ll never leave,

I knew once I woke I’d take it all back

So I never woke and we stayed like that.

I am not asleep and you are not a dream,

And my Red looks good in the sunlight gleam,

Not going back to sleep, or how it was.

Cover me in Red for forever cause

I see Red cross the street

Waving to me,

Wearing blue jeans,

Such a day dream.

Meant to be.

Finn looked flushed when he raised his arms to the crowd.

The crowd lost it—and continued to do so every time Finn and Logan did a similar call-and-answer. Finn’s voice and Logan’s drums. It was like a heart. Its beat and breath. Leo found himself grinning all through their song Green Eyes, rumored to be about a girl Finn spent a night with on tour in France. With each of Finn’s verses, Logan’s drums answered him with as many beats. No, you don’t—say much—but I read—your touch. Now Finn was standing behind Logan as Logan played, leaning in to share his microphone. You fall—I sigh—Oh my—green eyes.

It was hot. It was more than hot, it was sensual. Personal. The microphone caught Logan’s laugh and the crowd lost it all over again. A group of girls just in front of the VIP tent were sobbing—Leo was fairly sure they had been the entire time. He started to laugh a little, even if it was sweet how they held each other through the swaying rhythm of Your Loss and Thin Ice.

Leo knew he had been waiting for his favorite song. He’d been hoping each time a new one began that this would be it. It was softer, and he thought maybe he’d get to hear a bit more of Finn’s voice alone above all the instruments.

What actually happen was so much better. Finn sat down at the piano and began to play—alone.

“How are we all doing? Enjoying ourselves?” Finn grinned when the crowd roared for him. “Okay, good. Good, good. Um. This next one I’m gonna play a little piano, how’s that?”

Leo fought the urge to cover his giddy smile.

“Fantastic. You guys are great, I gotta tell you. But I’d expect nothing less from my favorite city… So, I think there are a lot of lovers of this song out there,” Finn said. “Me included. I actually didn’t expect everyone to love it so much because I know it’s a little different. Little sadder than our usual stuff. I wrote this one alone. Haven’t written anything alone since, but this one I did. I think it’s about making choices. It’s about wanting something so bad…” He paused, playing a few gorgeous soft chords, and Leo knew. This was his song. “That you hold on, even to the tiniest sliver.”

As raptured by Finn as Leo was, a movement on the stage caught his eye. Logan was getting up from behind his kit and leaving the stage. Leo frowned, watching his broad shoulders disappear. Maybe he was getting water because Finn played this one solo. Finn, on the stadium monitors, seemed to be watching, too.

“It’s a song about hope, really,” Finn said. “This is Rooftop.”

Part of Leo wanted to close his eyes, as he always did while listening. When Finn began to sing, he was a thousand places at once. Driving back home in New Orleans and singing it at the top of his lungs. Laying in his bed in the dark, crying so hard he couldn’t breathe through his nose. Swaying with Cassie at some party at the end of the night.

He didn’t close his eyes. He was here. The closest he’d ever been to Finn O’Hara in his life. He could see his famous freckles. Those gorgeous brown eyes—and the sorrow in them just now.

It’s a long, long, summer night

And I have no where to be.

I am gone, gone, lost the fight

Against hoping you’d want me.

It feels wrong, wrong, sitting here

Cause this is your place too.

You are gone, gone, lost the fight

But you know what is true.

I know you do.

Finn let the crowd sing the second I know you do back to him before he hit a gorgeous, thrumming piano chord and sang the chorus in a way that made Leo’s throat close up—as it always did.

I will lose my balance, I will

I will choose the highest place

Sit where only wind can race

Faster than your heart.

I will lose my courage, I will

I will fall and see your face

Reach out just enough to trace

All our broken parts.

And the bridge. God, the bridge. Sung in this quick, chopped low voice that Leo leaned into like he was thirsty. The crowd sang along so loud Leo felt it in his chest.

Bet the blood’s there still

Lingering on that window sill

But what no one sees

Are the ruins left of me.

Cause I’m still up there

My dreams smoking in the air.

Find the highest part

That’s the place we start.

And the blood’s still fresh…

The beautiful, beautiful pause. He was magnificent with the piano. The screens showed a shot of his hands, pale, strong wrists, delicate fingers. Leo got swept up by the key change, slowing it down, Finn’s voice raising, strong, the words drawn out, and so, so desperate for—for the memory, Leo thought, hand pressed against his chest. This song had always felt like a memory.

I wish you best

But I need you to know

That I will not rest

Until you tell me to go-oh

I’ve still got one hand

Locked on the ledge

Think I will hold on

Until you throw-oh

Me

Down

To my

Death.

Finn’s mouth rested against the microphone. His eyes were closed. The summer wind brushed his hair back from his forehead and—and Leo saw the tear track on his cheek. His voice was so, so soft for the final verse.

It’s a long, long, summer night

And I have no where to be.

I hold on, on in the fight

Of hoping you’ll want me.

Leo was in a daze when the set ended and he was whisked away by two people with headsets and backstage badges on. He fumbled to show his own passes to the three rounds of security. To his surprise, what he thought of as backstage was actually under the stage. He was lead through a curtain beneath the front part of the stage and through what resembled scaffolding. It was also a maze. He tried to keep track of where he was, but that plan went out the window in a second. There was no way he’d make it anywhere on his own if he had to. Soon enough, the low ceilings and metal poles disappeared and he was in the actual rooms of the stadium. More endless hallways, but a bit less of feeling like the whole thing could collapse on his head.

“Here we are, Mr. Knut,” said one of his companions. They’d arrived at a door that had a plastic sheet on it reading O’HARA.

Leo didn’t hear much of what was said after that. O’Hara. Leo saw flashes of all the posters, all the interviews, all those Instagram lives Finn used to do from the apartment he shared with Logan. He missed those videos. Finn in the kitchen talking about the new music he was working on, Logan wandering by shirtless behind him. It almost made one feel like they were in the room—which had probably been the point.

When he looked up again, the two headsets were walking away.

“Wait! Wait, should I knock or—”

But the world had already moved on in the post-show chaos and Leo was left standing there. He was more than surprised to find himself alone. He’d thought, being a journalist and all, they’d watch him like a hawk. Most musicians wanted to control what he saw. Apparently not Night Swimming.

Leo stepped closer to the sign, to the door, listening. He didn’t hear anything behind it. Not talking—maybe music, but it was hard to tell where that was coming from. Hesitantly, Leo knocked.

The door fell open a few inches. The latch must not have been done properly. Leo’s eyes raised in surprise. Now he could hear something—it was soft beneath the shouts and passing carts outside. But someone was inside.

Leo knocked again, gently, not wanting to startle, and took a half-step inside. He was expected, surely. Finn had been told?

Any words he might have had died in his throat.

Finn was inside. It was a warm space, soft music playing. A dressing table, a mini fridge, a guitar propped up against the sofa, an electric kettle. And Finn.

Finn who had Logan pressed up against the wall beside the mirror, its light warming their skin, kissing him. Kissing Logan in the same way he sang—with everything. Logan looked like Finn was all that was holding him up. He was still in the gray t-shirt, but his hat was gone—knocked to the floor by their feet. His dark curls were wild. Finn’s pale hands had hitched up his shirt and they made a stark contrast against Logan’s tan muscles. Logan made a soft sound into Finn’s mouth, Leo saw him bite at Finn’s lip and pull, and then Finn was dragging his lips down to Logan’s neck.

Maybe Leo made a sound himself, he didn’t know, but Logan’s eyes flashed open and met Leo’s.

Green. Green green green and then—

Interest. The look in them was so intense that Leo couldn’t move. He couldn’t close his eyes, couldn’t look away, couldn’t shut the door. Logan’s hand fisted Finn’s read hair and he—he pulled Finn off of his neck to kiss him again—eyes on Leo. He tapped Finn’s hip and Finn stopped. Leo heard him ask, what? Logan nodded his head in Leo’s direction.

Suddenly, brown eyes were on him, too. Finn’s eyes.

“Oh,” Finn said. His lips were pink and slick from Logan’s. Logan’s strong hand was still knotted in his hair.

“Excuse me,” Leo choked out. Finally, he forced his eyes down. Kissing, his mind chanted. FinnandLoganFinnandLogan. “I’m—I’m so sorry, I was told—”

“No, no, no,” Finn said. “Sorry, I didn’t hear you come in.” Finn looked around for a moment, a little dazed, and then spotted his shirt. He pulled it on backwards, cursed, and righted it. Damn right lucky you, Leo thought, glancing at Logan’s mouth.

“I’m sorry. I’m—so sorry, I’m here for…um.”

“Leo Knut,” Finn said. He strode forward and offered Leo a hand. If he was at all nervous about what Leo had just caught him and Logan doing, he didn’t show it. “I know, I’ve been looking forward to your interview. My brother and I, we talk about your work all the time.”

Leo was going to pass out. “Okay. I mean thank you.”

Finn smiled a little. He wiped his mouth. Leo tried to keep his eyes from following the motion.

“Um.” Leo said. “The show was fantastic.”

“Yeah? Thanks.”

“You’ve seen us before,” Logan said—and not like a question.

“Yeah,” Leo replied. “This is my third time. I’ve been a fan for a while. Since the beginning, really.” Stop talking. “So. So, my office said that we would be—well, I’m here for…”

“Right,” Finn said. “Of course. I think we’re doing an hour now, right?” When Leo nodded, he gestured to the couch. “Please, sit. Can we get you anything?”

Leo blinked. “Oh. Um. Water?”

“Let’s order food,” Logan said, collapsing on the couch. “I’m fucking starving.” He looks at Leo. “Or am I supposed to get out for this Finn O’Hara interview?”

“No,” Finn said, then looked at Leo. “I’d like him to stay.”

“That’s completely fine,” Leo said. “Better, even.” That sounded weird. “I mean, I’d love to hear both of your—of what you have to say.”

Leo stumbled through his questions. He fumbled his words, his phrasing. He had no direction, no path, he couldn’t remember all the angles he’d planned to try until he found this story.

The worse part was, he knew they could tell. Logan’s stormy eyes tracked his missteps like a shark. He was a quiet one. Leo had known that. He was like that in interviews. It bordered on rude, honestly, but Leo knew he had a sweet side. He’d seen videos of Logan spending a solid thirty minutes talking to fans through fences, outside of their hotels. Talking, taking photos, signing autographs, recording video messages for friends. So, Leo withstood the glare. He had, after all, walked in on him kissing Finn. The world certainly didn’t know about that.

By the time the hour was up, Leo had nothing but an empty notebook and a headache. 

“We don’t have a show tomorrow,” Finn said. “Why don’t you come around to the apartment? Lo and I sleep late, but mid-day?” Finn smiled at him, friendly and sweet.

Lo and I. Was this Finn telling him something? Were they more than roommates? Not that it was any of Leo’s business, not that it had anything to do with the article, it was only…Leo tried to imagine himself at seventeen, knowing that Finn O’Hara and Logan Tremblay shared the part of himself that he was most unsure about. God, what that would have done for him.

“That sounds wonderful,” Leo said. “Thank you. Should we say noon?”

“Two,” Logan said. “We sleep late.”

Leo looked back to Logan. No smile. Studying. That same looked Leo had received during the kiss.

“Two, then,” Leo said.

If there was one thing he hadn’t expected from tonight, it was not being able to get out of that room fast enough.

[abiiors]

𝚠𝚑𝚎𝚗 𝚒 𝚔𝚗𝚘𝚌𝚔 𝚊𝚝 𝚊 𝚑𝚞𝚗𝚍𝚛𝚎𝚍 𝚊𝚗𝚍 𝚝𝚠𝚘 — 𝚌𝚑𝚊𝚙𝚝𝚎𝚛 𝚒𝚡

✧ — 𝚖𝚊𝚜𝚝𝚎𝚛𝚕𝚒𝚜𝚝

✮ a/n: this one was quite hard to write because it took everything in me not to describe max getting murdered instead 🥲

✮ cw: crying, general sadness, verbal fights, slut shaming

✮ wc: 2.5k

jules feels like a zombie. 

for two days all she does is sleep and work. she barely eats, only showers once. she cries quite a bit though. it feels like everything sets her off…

every time she closes her eyes, jules remembers the way matty had looked at her before she ran away. she thinks of matty hitting max and matty cradling her face to make sure she's okay. she thinks of their last kiss and all the ones before. 

fuck. 

for two days she barely exists as a real person, barely checks her phone or answers to people’s texts and phone calls. she should have known better than to get herself tangled up in feelings again. she should have known better than to trust herself with ‘no strings attached’. because there are always strings. 

and now she can’t break them without hurting herself more. 

on the third day she wakes up to carly shaking her awake.  

it’s startling at first, she thinks someone’s broken into the flat. then she thinks it’s matty… ultimately when jules opens her eyes to carly’s concerned face, she can’t help the tears that gather in her eyes. 

“hi,” she whispers, swallowing through the lump in her throat. “sorry, did i forget we were going to do something?”

carly says nothing for a minute, just looks at her with scrutiny. 

“move over,” she motions for jules to shift, and jules obeys. 

carly gets in bed next to her, gets under the covers and pulls her into a hug. only then does she allow herself to cry again—big, loud sobs that send fat tears rolling down her cheeks. 

“i’ve made a mess,” she wails. “i’ve made a mess and i made him sad.”

“nico?” carly asks, “what—”

“no,” jules interrupts her. she’s done with this fake charade, she’s done lying to her friend and lying to herself. “not nico. there was never a nico.” she sniffles like a child, wiping her nose on the duvet. “i mean, yes there was but—”

“jules, you’re making no sense…” carly looks at her with a blank face. her lips are pursed into a thin line and her eyes are a little wary, but jules can see the concern written there plain as day. she doesn’t blame carly thought, she knows she’s talking like someone who’s gone mad. 

“it’s…matty,” she mumbles, “it’s always been matty.”

“adam’s matty?” carly’s eyebrows fly so high up in her hairline that jules almost giggles. more so when she registers what carly’s just said.

through tears she laughs. “adam’s matty. yes.” 

“what about him?”

“well…” she wrings her hands, suddenly nervous and scared that carly would be mad at her for lying this entire time. “it’s a bit of a long story.”

“let’s hear it then,” carly nods her head, and jules starts at the beginning.

“and this has been going on for…”

“more than a month, yeah…” she’s already in tears again, ashamed to look carly in the eyes and find contempt or judgement. 

“why didn’t you tell me?” carly mumbles. “why did you lie the whole time?”

“i—” jules chokes, crying more tears. “i was scared you’d think i was using him. i was scared you won’t like—”

“jules!” she interrupts, incredulous, “what am i, your mum?! none of my business who you fuck, i just… i wish you would have told me…”

“i know,” jules plays with a loose thread on the duvet. “i’m so sorry, i lied to you, i am.” 

she looks up, finally looking carly in the eyes. there’s a little bit of annoyance in her face, some anger too as is to be accepted. but more than that carly looks at her with concern. still, after jules is done confessing her lie, her friend looks at her with concern. 

under the duvet they’re sitting side by side, their arms touching. jules leans over and rests her head on carly’s lap like a child. a second passes, and then she feels fingers threading through her hair. 

“and now…”

“i want…” she looks down in shame, “…more.”

“and why is that a problem?”

because i don’t think he wants me? because i don’t know if it’s a good idea? because there’s a chance he might have feelings for someone else? because because because. 

she smiles at carly sadly. “it doesn’t matter. i think whatever we had is over now.”

“jules,” carly holds her face between her warm hands, making jules look at her. “i’ll say to you what i said to you ages ago, back when you first wanted go on casual dates. you don’t have to any of it if you don’t want to. but if you’re going to, i want you to be happy with it.” she pauses, taking a deep breath. “it looks like you’re not happy… ending it.”

and that really is the truth, isn’t it. she’d rather have some half-baked version of him than have none of him at all. but her heart is fragile. she can’t invest years in matty like she did in max. she can’t have that end the exact same way—in heartbreak and tears. 

“don’t assume what he wants,” carly nudges her gently. “ask him what he wants.”

“mmm,” jules wipes at her cheeks again. she’s sure her entire face is red now—red and splotchy. 

“now go on,” carly nudges her, “let’s go for a walk or something. i’ve got the whole day free and i’m bored!”

jules laughs. it’s a watery chuckle and more tears fall down her cheeks, but she feels better than she has in days. weeks, rather. she feels lighter and freer. 

“should we get ice cream?” she asks, and carly nods with all the enthusiasm in the world.

there’s another thing she has to do before she can fully bring herself to talk to matty. not that he has reached out to her… she supposes it’s fair this way. she’s the one who fucked up, she should be the one to apologise. 

and so a week and a half later she sets out. not to matty’s place, not just yet. she goes to the house she hasn’t seen in close to eight months. 

jules turns onto the familiar street and knocks on max’s door. 

it used to be her door once, she remembers. she wonders if the house still looks the same—if the sofa and the loveseat are where she left them. she wonders what’s replaced the trinkets on the shelves that she took with her. she wonders if the bedroom is as clean as she used to keep it and if the fridge is as organised. she wonders and wonders and realises… she does not care. 

jules no longer cares if the house inside looks like a mausoleum or if the bedroom looks like a garbage dump. 

she no longer cares if max lives comfortably or not. 

jules waits, ringing the doorbell again and shielding herself from the sun that’s high up in the sky. after ringing it for the third time, she hears footsteps—heavy dragging footsteps and then the door is yanked open. and just like that there’s max, hungover and looking like shit in last night’s clothes. 

he smells of stale alcohol and cheap weed. jules wonders how she ever loved this man, how she ever looked at him and found him attractive. 

“juliette…” he sounds surprised. she swallow the sour taste it creates in her mouth. it’s her name and yet when he says it, it sounds like the ugliest word in the world. 

“move,” she says, no willing to touch him to shove him aside. “i want to talk.”

max snorts and steps aside, motioning her in. 

jules takes in the house while he shuts the door behind her. there’s a thin layer of dust on the now empty shelves that look like they have not been used in quite some time. there are cobwebs in the corners of the ceiling and crumpled up empty beer cans by the sofa. 

the ashtray looks like it hasn’t been emptied in over a week. 

the house has certainly seen better days. 

“sit,” he motions towards the sofa. one look and jules wrinkles her nose in disgust—who knows what kind of things he gets up to here now that he’s single. 

“no, i don’t plan on staying long,” she declares, moving away to put a little more distance between them. no matter how far she moves though, she can still smell the stink coming from him. 

“right,” max smirks, “what you here for then? healy didn’t satisfy you last night, did he?”

jules closes her eyes and takes a deep breath. she’s not here to fight, she’s not here to fight, she’s not here to fight!

“max, i need you to stop.” 

“stop what?”

“i need you to stop sending flowers and coming back into my life. i need you to stop giving a shit about who i’m fucking, i need you to stop—”

“oh so you can be a whore and spread your legs to whoever you want and i can’t say shit about it?”

jules grinds down her molars, bristling at the interruption. this is fucking impossible, he is fucking impossible. 

“max, listen to me,” jules begins, her voice steady despite the anger bubbling up inside her. “i didn’t come here to argue. i came here to make things clear.”

max scoffs, leaning against the wall with a dismissive glare. “so we’re setting boundaries now are we? so you can run around town fucking that boy and ruin my reput—”

“max!” jules raises her voice, trying not to go slap him in his own home. “i’m not interested in discussing my sex life with you. i want you to understand that whatever i do, whoever i do it with is none of your fucking business.”

he snorts again, shaking his head. “and you think it’s okay for your boy toy to hit me like that? he’s fucking lucky you were there.” 

“lucky?” jules scoffs, incredulous. “max, you were out of line, and you know it. you can’t just show up and act like you still have some kind of claim over me. matty stood up for me because you were being a complete jerk.”

max’s smirk falters for a second, but he quickly recovers, crossing his arms over his chest. “you think he’s some kind of hero? he’s just using you, juliette. just like—”

“just like you did?” she interrupts, her voice sharp and cold. “don’t project your failures onto him. matty’s nothing like you, max. he will never be like you. ever.”

max opens his mouth to say something but she’s not done talking just yet. she’s not done talking and she’s not going to leave here until he promises never to bother her again. 

“i’m being so fucking serious right now,” her voice sounds firm and jules wonders if matty would be proud of her if he were here. she’s certainly proud of herself. “i need you to stay the fuck away from me. no more flowers, no more messages, no more trying to intervene in my life. i do not care what your little cronies think of your reputation anymore.”

max whistles low, looking her up and down. “you’ve grown a backbone.”

“yeah,” she shrugs, smirking at him, “i’ve also learned what it’s like to fuck a real man.”

max’s face flushes with anger, but jules just looks at him with pity. she’s done letting him make her feel small, done letting him control the narrative of her life. she’s just… done.

“don’t ever come near me or mine again.” she warns him one last time. 

max sneers, but there’s a flicker of something in his eyes—defeat, maybe, or regret. jules doesn’t care to figure it out. she’s said what she needed to say.

turning on her heel, she heads for the door, not giving max a chance to respond. she’s done with his toxicity, done with being the good little girlfriend who gives away all of herself and forgets to be a person of her own. 

jules steps outside, the sunlight warm on her face, and takes a deep breath, feeling lighter than she has in months.

back at her flat, jules takes a long, hot shower, scrubbing away the remnants of whatever might have clung to her in that house. it feels like there’s a disgusting oily sheen to her skin, like max and his gaze still linger, making her feel small all over again. 

she wraps herself in a towel and sits on the edge of her bed, her phone in hand. her heart pounds as she scrolls through her contacts and finds matty’s number. she’s scared, but carly’s words echo in her mind.

ask him what he wants.

with trembling fingers, she types out a message:

jules: hi, can we talk?

she stares at the screen, her thumb hovering over the send button, but jules doesn’t send it. instead she repeatedly presses backspace. 

she remembers carly’s words, but she also remembers her own. 

matty’s nothing like you, max. he will never be like you. ever.

and she was right then, wasn’t she? she thinks back to all the time she’s spent with matty. matty, who’s put her first every single time and been a friend to her even when he didn’t have to. she remembers matty cradling her face and asking her if she was okay. she remembers making him sad. 

she’d made him sad. 

jules feels a fist squeeze around her heart. if she’s going to make it right, she’s going to make it right in person. and she’s going to do it right now. 

she dresses as quickly as she can, reciting her speech in her head and trying to calm her nerves. she’s going to go and wear her heart of her sleeve, she can’t let a panic attack get in the middle of that. 

his house is only a short bus ride away but her heart is in her throat the entire time. jules doesn’t know what she will say to him once she actually sees him. she doesn’t know if he’d be willing to hear her out or if he’d just turn her away. 

what if he just wants a clean end to… them?

turning onto matty’s street is so much more nerve wracking than max’s. for one, it takes her an eternity to ring the bell. 

maybe she should just run away again and come back some other day. maybe she should have stuck to her original plan of messaging him first. 

still, jules knows this is the right thing to do. matty deserves a real apology, and she’s not going to deprive him of one. 

jules stands outside matty's house, her heart pounding as she rehearses her speech one last time in her head. she takes a deep breath and knocks on the door, hoping he will answer.

to her surprise, it’s cleo who opens the door.

“jules?” she sounds surprised. “hi! come in, what’s up?”

jules nods at cleo. “i’m here for matty,” she tries to keep her voice even. “i need to talk to him.”

[dalliesque]

'그만 집어치워 고민 같은 거'

Angel Or Devil — Tomorrow By Togheter

✴ ꒰ 𝗧 𝗕𝗬 𝗧 ꒱ sypnosis in which the whole uni shipped her boyfriend with someone unknown, forced to keep the relationship a secret out of force. will she do justice to herself and reveal the daunting truth? or would she stand there and watch as her lifeline slowly fade away from her?

꒰ png ' sungho × fem!reader, smau, written, fluff fluff, silly, slight angst. cw ' curse words, reader is a bit dumb, some parts might be toxic to people contents : 13 attachments. wc ' very long (me and my laptop gave up at counting the words srry), semi-proofread! ꒱

⌗ 雨曦 talks ୨ৎ i want grammarly dead, that shit messes up my writing and proceed to call it grammar. like gtfo 😃🔪

content under the cut!

Y/N had been counting the days since Danielle, Minji's best friend, had sent her that text. It felt like an eternity had passed, yet the sting of the message still lingered. She regretted agreeing to Danielle's request, but she couldn't explain why she had done it in the first place. She still wonders why she made that decision, but she finds it hard to answer her own question. However, it was too late to change anything now. Y/N couldn't even tell Danielle the truth about her relationship with Sungho without hurting Minji. Guilt is consuming her every day, but she chooses to keep quiet for the sake of Minji's happiness, she couldn't bear the thought of making Minji sad. Y/N didn't want to be the reason someone didn't get to experience the same love she had. She was a people-pleaser, and it was something she couldn't help.

Sungho was far from dumb. He could sense that his lover was slowly but surely slipping away from him. He was bewildered and demanded answers. Why was she drifting away from him? Had he done something wrong? Was she annoyed with him and giving him the cold shoulder? None of it made sense to him. He had not acted poorly in recent days, and you started ignoring him on that day, the day where #mingho was created. Sungho finally wrapped his mind around it. He wonders if your behavior towards him was driven by jealousy. Did you deliberately ignore him for that reason? But you weren't the type to be jealous over a stupid Twitter hashtag right? Well technically the whole uni are aware about this #mingho shenanigans.. Great, he messed up.

Sungho pants as he takes a breather finally catching up to you. He calls out, trying to get your attention. You removed one of the earplugs blocking your hearing as you turn around, taking a look at him. "Sungho?"

Sungho's face is pale, and he looks like he has seen a ghost. You hurriedly hand him a bottle of water from your bag, him drinking it in one go. Seeing him finishing the drink you spoke again, "You know you shouldn't call me pet names around the university. People will know we're datin—"

chuu!!

before you can finish your sentence, Sungho cuts you off in a chaste kiss, him slowly pulling away with a smug look on his face.

"Sungho!" you hit his shoulders right after your brain finishes registering what he just did.

"What?" he replies, his eyes sparkling with mischief.

"Get lost."

Sungho smiles sweetly and intertwines his hand with yours.

"How could you get rid of this beauty?" he gives you a wink, a teasing smile visible on his face.

"Narcissistic bitch" you mutter jokingly at him, giving him the side eye before cracking to giggles.

"Tch, Jealousy is a disease"

"shit" a curse leaves your lips upon seeing the notification.

"something wrong?" sungho eyed eyed you worriedly, before diverting his attention back to stirring the meal on the stove.

"it's nothing"

"you sure?"

"im sure" you gave him a small smile, thinking of a way on how to reply to the message.

"100% sure yeah?" sungho asks one more time in a more lively tone this time.

you chuckle assuring him one more time "100% sure love"

"okay... if you say so" sungho's rest his hand on his hip, focusing on the meal.

"sungho babe?" you ask him, waiting for a response from the latter.

"yes love?" sungho turn around showing you a comforting smile.

"hmm do you recon seeing anyone when you met me this morning?"

"well .."

...

"i think so?"

"who is it" you tilt your head unknowingly, curious on who watched both of your lovey dovey moments earlier in the day.

".. minji ..?"

"minji.." you repeats his words to yourself, gathering yourself togheter.

"everything alright love?" sungho turns off the stove, making his way to you carresing your cheeks softly.

you nod your head, quickly changing the topic.

"Let's just talk about something else"

"you took a picture of me when i was asleep???!!!" sungho gasp dramatically, covering his mouth with a hand.

"yups and i just uploaded it!" you beam proudly, showing him your phone.

"oh you're soo done!" sungho hurriedly opens his phone, opening twitter instantly forming an evil payback.

"ehh.. babe i think you should, umm open your twitter..." sungho chuckles loudly, watching you open your phone.

"huh?" your thumb hover over the application's logo as the red icon indicating notifications continue to add its numbers.

'so many notifications ..'

and you clicked it. regretting every single second of it.

"oh my goodness sungho!"

sungho let out a fit of giggle, pinching your cheek "yes i know.."

"what should i do..!" you whine, burying your face deeper into his chest.

"just.. accept it..?" he spoke before his chest was meet with your fist.

"ow! hey you, that's mean!"

.𖥔 ݁ ˖ join the gang here + ꒰ 𝗧 𝗕𝗬 𝗧 ꒱ ⋅ ⋅ my library ୨ৎ

୭ ˚. my loves @lilacgyuvin ⋅ ⋅ @hyunhanie ⋅ ⋅ @keii-starz ⋅ ⋅ @starryriize ⋅ ⋅

[risuola]

satoru gojo character & story analysis — all of it began with a miracle.

it's a piece of writing i wanted to do for a long time. it's not fanfiction, there's no reader. it's just his story from beginning to an end ( which i refuse to believe it's the end), it's what i think he was going through, what i noticed and assumed.

contains spoilers. — wc. 2,6k

It all began with a miracle.

A child is born, an anomaly, a little boy that in all helplessness and vulnerability is meant to be the strongest. A baby with hair as white as the snow and eyes as blue as the sky cries out loud, letting out his first few breaths and the balance of the world shifts.

Boy grows up, but without the warmth and love so needed and craved — he’s learning to survive in a world that doesn’t want him. He has looked death straght in the eyes more times than he's met the gaze of his own parents. With a bounty on his little head and with eyes filled with blooming resentment, he must keep his head high because he’s a pride. A treasure of his clan, a bearer of two techniques that did not appear together for hundreds of years. He’s blessed, but the blessing is nothing but a curse.

He knows about curses before he ever sees them. He knows about curses before he learns to write and he faces them while kids of his age are enjoying their time on the playground. It’s fine, his peers wouldn’t understand him anyway. He was fine alone. He was fine.

Years pass and he learns. With people around him, he’s lonely. A burden of power weighs him down, it swallows him whole and he feels alienated. The strongest sorcerer of the new era. The title feels strange on his tongue for years and he doesn’t feel the strongest. He’s a child, he wants to be— he can’t.

He grows arrogant, he grows distant and isolated. Directing his attention to things as trivial as gameboy games and playing cards, he leans towards normality that he craves so much. He finds joy and pleasure in sugary treats, because that’s what make him feel almost regular. But then, he meets someone special. Suguru Geto. A boy just like him, a boy with power that others do not understand. They become friends.

It’s the first time in Satoru’s life that he has a friend and he’s overwhelmed. He’s in love with the feeling of having someone, anyone, who understands him. He craves the time he spends with Suguru, he longs to see the black haired boy, he cannot get enough of him, always texting him, sending pictures, calling. And Geto wanted that too. The dynamic of friendship blooms into something beautiful, it roots deep within him and he wants nothing more, because with Suguru, he feels complete. Because with Suguru, he’s no longer alone.

The sky is blue. The bluest it’s ever been and the sun is so warm and pleasant. The days blend into each other, he doesn’t count them, he doesn’t care. He just wishes to be in this time forever, he wishes for this spring to stay like this because he’s there with him. And there are other people that care for him too? That are not afraid of him, that do not want him dead? He loves it. No matter the curses, he’s untouchable, he’s the strongest. They are the strongest.

But then, the blue sky turns red, the easy mission of protecting the star plasma vessel turns dark and bloody and Satoru dies for the first time. The sound of a blade cutting through his flesh, the feeling of it cutting the tissues and the warmth of his own blood made them dizzy. He falls to the ground and stills. Is it over? He doesn’t know. What’s with the balance of the world, what’s with his world, what’s with Geto?

Throughout heaven and hell, he alone becomes the honored one.

Everything shifts again. His body, as strong as ever becomes even stronger. Toji is gone and he doesn’t know what happened to Suguru. Riko is gone. It seems like he’s alone again but there’s a child on his mind now, a thought of a few-years-old boy somewhere alone. A child whose father he just killed.

He’s in crisis. Amanai’s body is light in his hands, cold against his warm body as he carries her out of the room full of simple humans, blinded by an ideology that is nothing but cruel. He sees the death of someone whom he grew to care about and he realizes that despite being the strongest, he simply cannot save people he wants to. And then, Suguru saves him. There’s no point in that, he says and Satoru listens. The sound of clapping makes him numb. Everything what happened made the shine of his eyes dull out. The blood in his hair feels foreign, the clothes on his body are trash. He’s dirty, he’s tired, he died just moments ago. But he listens. He knows better than to defy. He listens and leaves the cult behind.

The scale shifts again. Satoru is stronger. Suguru is left alone, Suguru feels abandoned and Gojo cannot help. His solo missions and the determination to master his techniques are driving him into oblivion. He still longs for his friend and in fact, there’s nothing else that motivates him than the wish to keep his close ones safe. He’s still himself, he picks all of him up soon, he throws himself into getting more out of what he inherited and he becomes the strongest. He saved Ijichi, but he couldn’t save Haibara.

And he couldn’t save Geto.

Is he the strongest because he’s Satoru Gojo or— what the hell does that even mean? He doesn’t know, but the sight of his closest friend, the one and only, the ride or die, turning around and disappearing into the crowd makes him want to scream. He grieves. He feels like he lost everything he had. The sky has never been so blue again.

He’s just a teenager. A young boy that never got to know love and care and yet, he decides to love and care for a boy, whose father took everything from him. It is, after all, Toji who turned his life into hell — taking the life of Riko, nearly killing Suguru and planting the seed of hatred into his mind. It is Toji who initiated Geto’s change, who initiated his own change. And the boy, Megumi, looks so similar. But Satoru takes him and his sister. Those kids are lucky. Satoru is not a father, but he gives his all to this new role. He doesn’t show it, but he cares.

Years pass by and he becomes a teacher. He wants to change the world he lives in, he wants to make sure the next generations are capable of protecting themselves. He doesn’t want anyone else to suffer as he did. He wants the kids to be strong, he trains them, nurtures them. He’s not the best teacher, he lacks qualities that make him likeable, but he does his best. He thrives in the way his students get better, he loves their smiles, he watches their friendships and he thinks that for as long as he is alive, he will not allow any kid to have its youth taken away. He lives by that statement.

He loses himself.

Lonely in the world, he realizes there’s a long-distant family around. Okkotsu. So Satoru saves him, trains him, loves him. And Yuta loves Satoru back. Things are good for a moment. Megumi grows good — he’s a troublemaker at school but to Gojo, he’s perfect. Tsumiki is in coma, but he cares about her as well, making sure she has the best medical attendance and conditions. For a moment, it’s perfect.

Until it’s not.

Until Suguru Geto appears at Jujutsu High after nearly a decade of absence, looking so familiar and yet so foreign. But his voice is the same, the tone in which he calls Satoru, it’s all so close to his heart. Satoru feels his heartbeat quicken, there’s a pressure in his throat and he wants to scream, but he can’t. Everyone is around, his kids are there, he can’t, he’s the strongest. So he stays there, focuses and he knows that after so many years, the time comes that he will have to make the sacrifice he wasn’t able to years ago.

Satoru blames himself. He did so for years, he felt lonely and guilty. But Suguru looks happy. Is he happy without him? The Night Parade happens. There’s trust. Despite everything that happened, Gojo trusts his one and only friend to not kill innocent young sorcerers because Gojo loves him still. It’s a feeling that’s always inside his chest, a friendship that will never be burned down. He wouldn’t be able to rid himself of it, no matter what happens.

But he kills him. The sight of Suguru so bloodied breaks his heart. The soft smile and light tone of his voice are etched into him and he knows that it is necessary to finish what he started that day in the past, in front of the fast food store. At this point, Satoru is so used to putting himself on the least important position, that he comes to terms with hurting himself if it means to protect his students, the youth.

There’s an importance to a body that he cannot deny. It is so undeniably human of him to want his closest friend to have a proper burial, to not be cut down and burnt as any other sorcerer. Satoru, egoistically, wants to have a place to come to, to talk to, to lay flowers at. He thinks that it’s alright, that it’s his own, that he’s allowed to do this because there’s no one stronger than him, right? He thinks that it’s alright to have Suguru’s grave to himself because that would feel like he still can talk to him, visit him. He takes care of it too. Flowers are always fresh, the candles are lit, the grave is clean and he feels him inside. The dead body filled with residuals so familiar, it puts Satoru at ease.

Until he doesn’t have that much time anymore. Because Sukuna awakens and he has yet another kid to take care of, to fight for. And he doesn’t know it yet, but nothing will be the same again.

Things go downhill from there. Where was he when Sukuna ripped his precious student’s heart out? As he sits in the mortuary, watching Shoko getting ready for the section, he cannot help but blame himself again. He promised to protect that child, he took him under his wing, he trained and taught him, ready to stand against the demon inside and still, he failed. And then, he laughs because this time, it seems like life is merciful. Because Sukuna allows Yuji to live.

Halloween night brings much less luck and he feels like a weapon again. Upon a curtain over Shibuya, he is sent alone because it is assumed that he’s gonna clean all the mess that unraveled. No matter how many people are there, how many curses and how dangerous. He’s the strongest, he’ll deal with it. He has to fight and he enjoys it even, for a moment, until he has to make sacrifice of people that, deep inside, he doesn’t care that much about? He cannot save everyone but there’s a promise in his actions, that he’ll at least exorcise the curses.

He makes a choice. Hanami first. He should’ve gone for Jogo. It’s chaos. And then…

The eyes he possesses tell him it’s Suguru Geto, but his soul knows otherwise. He’s sealed and he knows that he should’ve allow Shoko to dispose his friend’s body properly. But he didn’t want to. And now it was his fault.

It’s not that long for the world to go on without him and still, it seems like it’s close to ending. Satoru gets out but there’s no celebration, only grief. He has become a criminal. Most of his colleagues are dead. Is Nanami’s death his fault? Maybe if he’d exorcise the fire curse first— or Mahito. If not for Mahito both Nanami and Nobara wouldn’t—

Every choice he made in life, that prioritized his own well-being and happiness, backfired tremendously.

And Megumi. His babyboy, his stubborn son is now possessed by Sukuna? Why didn’t he see that coming? Tsumiki is gone too. And Yaga. He struggles to count the losses. A date is set and deep inside his gut he knows what will happen that day. He gives it his all. The mastery of his techniques. His fit body, his strength and all of the battle iq he has. He fights with everything he’s got, he bleeds and hurts, but it’s Megumi he fights for. It’s youth he tries to protect, it’s his son.

He feels alive for a moment, despite all, he thrives in the environment of battle so intense and extreme. He reaches the absolute top of his abilities; he gives it his absolute all. He wants to win, he wants to prove he’s the strongest, he wants to protect those who are important to him. But it’s not enough.

His fight is broadcasted and his death is too. Like a twisted reality show, an entertainment, with all the bloody detail and harsh reality of his situation. His last breath is shown through the screens. He thinks of his students a lot, he wants to show off for them, to teach them that there are levels of power that he wishes them to reach and yet, he fails. Because the levels of his power are simply not enough.

Satoru dies. Alone on the battlefield. He dies by the hand of his own boy, praised by the demon inside him and he wishes he could speak at the final moment. He knows what will happen next.

Five minutes.

He gave his permission. Used to treat himself as nothing but a weapon, he doesn’t care much what will happen to his body once he’s gone. The hope of resting next to his friend is long forgotten, he doesn’t dare to think wishfully, he doesn’t give into his egoism yet again. He wants his team to win and if that means they will use his lifeless body, throwing away his soul, then so be it.

Five minutes.

He doesn’t think much about it when Yuta brings up the topic. Frankly, he has no intention to lose the battle. He wants to take down Sukuna by himself, because if he does it, even if he dies in the process, his close ones will be safe. And he beliefs in them too. He hopes that everything he’s done in his short life is enough.

Five minutes.

That’s how long Yuta’s technique will work.

For five minutes, he’s still being used.

For five minutes, he still has to be the strongest.

It’s five minutes, and he’ll be able to rest.

The last five minutes of Satoru Gojo.

Satoru is a character deeply tragic but built so beautifully. He’s never had anything and yet he lost everything. One by one, he watched his close ones die, right in front of his eyes and he couldn’t do anything about it, even though he was the strongest. A title, almost mocking, stretched throughout his entire lifetime, marking him with powers that made him untouchable but rendering him unable to save people he cared about. His life was a trial, proving how resilient was his personality. Despite the arrogant, joyful mask, there was a deeply responsible man who dreamt big about changing the world but failed.

I’d like to think he’s got to know love, intimacy, the warmth of a touch even as gentle as a kiss to his temple but there’s nothing of such clues throughout the manga.

That is him. That is Satoru Gojo.

a/n. if you made it through this entire text, congrats! i don't expect this post to be read many times, but i needed to get this off my chest because i'm the kind of person who likes to analyze the characters. i have thoughts about most of the characters in jjk, so if you're interested in reading my dissection of someone else, let me know.

also, let's make a biding vow to give our man the fluffiest fics ever, the happiest moments and the sloppiest heads, thanks.

[bellewintersroe]

Daniel Ricciardo x HornerDaughter! Reader.

Part 10 wooohooo thank you for all your support I appreciate it massively!!! Don’t worry if this story has slowed down a little it’s going to pick right back up (without any spoilers 😉). Also I’m hating using the use of y/n it’s making me cringe, it’s too late to add a name to this character isn’t it 😭😭

Tension still continues between Daniel and her. Neither of their pain seems to be subsiding, and it’s safe to say Max is becoming semi-aware of their situation…

Warnings: talk of alcohol, mentions of a previous panic attack but nothing graphic, maybe some swearing? The next chapter will be HEAVYYYY, spicy, arguments, angst, crying omfg I am excited to write it so stay tuned 🤫

The first night she’d slept properly was after her panic attack, tiring her to the point of exhaustion as she passed out listening to all the cliche, heartbreak songs, Celine Dion was on the top of her list. The following few nights were hit or miss depending on sleep, luckily, right before Penelope’s 4th birthday party she’d managed to have a good sleep meaning she was pretty much raring to go.

She’d decided there’d be absolutely no tears and awkward interactions between Daniel and her, they’d texted a couple of times when he was checking if she was okay, but that was the extent of it. She couldn’t spend anymore time thinking about the man, nor could he spend any less time thinking about her. She plagued his mind, he felt like he was going absolutely crazy.

Struggling to carry the large bag full of barbies and the dream house she’d bought for the young one, Max ran over in amusement, taking the large present from her grasp. “Hi! Thank you, Max.” She offered him a quick hug. “What have you bought her, a car?!”

“Barbies of course!” “P’s gonna go crazy when she sees this. How are you anyway? Better after the other day?” She laughed out of embarrassment at his question. “I’m completely fine now, sorry I had to run away.” I shook my head. “No it’s fine, as long as you’re okay.” Max wasn’t an idiot, neither was Kelly. Neither was P.

“P was just concerned that’s all.” He patted her back with his free hand as smiled gently. “She’s excited to see you, P!” Max called out. “Look who’s here!”

“I’m excited to see her- oh my god! Is that the birthday girl?!” She fell to her knees at the little one ran into her arms, giddy with her birthday excitement. “Happy birthday, P!” She gave her a squeeze as P jumped back. Daniel watched with a gentle smile, his hand tightening around the grip on his beer bottle as his heart crumbled at the sight.

Meanwhile, she had to yet to see him there. She squealed with excitement, clapping as P did a spin her adorable dress. When she did say her hello’s she was speaking mainly with Kelly and a bunch of women she’d met a handful of times before. She was relieved to see her friends already there, somehow the thought of walking in somewhere was still intimidating to her. Through the whole evening her and Daniel didn’t speak once, they were on the opposite side of the garden all night, she stuck with her friends and he stuck with his. It somehow made Daniel feel more awkward than ever, and he wasn’t sure if it was a conscious effort on her behalf to speak to basically everybody but him. It hurt deep inside of him, it stung at his heart harsher than anything he’d felt before and a weird sickness would fill him every time he thought of how she’d avoided him. Daniel didn’t want it to be like that, if they couldn’t be together then surely they could be as close as they were before?

Daniel would always drive her places, grabbing her smoothies, and they’d always manage to find one another snickering in the most inappropriate moments. She’s sought him out after races where they’d gossip together, giggling at all the influencers there who had no clue what the hell was going on. Daniel never thought he’d miss when they were just friends, but the separation and distance between the pair felt uncomfortably cold. Another person who noticed this was Max. Odd little things had been happening, first y/n runs off crying, then Daniel looks like a sad puppy lingering around. He couldn’t help but recognise how the two didn’t speak, it was insightful, maybe he was looking too hard into it, but to Max it was blatantly obvious they were upset at one another. “You alright?” He approached the Australian man who was just preparing to leave. “Yeah, yeah, had a good time, thanks for the invite man.” Of course Daniel smiled in response.

“Something going on with you and y/n?” Max openly asked, Daniel was stunned, momentarily speechless. Maybe it was the alcohol, but Max blurted out the question quicker than he intended to. “Y/n?” Daniel flinched. “She was just a bit upset the other day, that’s all. I talked to her about it.” He scratched the back of her neck, partly avoiding Max’s question. The Dutchman decided against pressing him on the topic. The slight avoidance of the question struck Max as odd.

“Is she okay?” Daniel went to wince again. “Yeah. Yeah, I’m sure she is.” Although he wasn’t sure at all. She seemed good today, he was glad, but surely if she was over this whole thing she would’ve spoken to him… maybe he should’ve made the first move? Oh god, his mind was overthinking like crazy, even messier with Max’s straightforwardness. That evening it was Daniel’s turn to listen to pathetically cliche heartbreak songs.

A couple days later, after qualifying, she was there again. Daniel had just gained the 6th fastest lap time, however his track time was then deleted for exceeding track limits. It was a nightmare, she found herself going from cheering to stood in disappointment. She knew Daniel wouldn’t be so happy, he’d probably take it on the chin but 6th was incredible, especially to say he was driving a tractor.

That day, her feelings had warmed up to Daniel. It’s like seeing him again at P’s birthday rid some of the anger that contaminated her previously. Once she’d spoken to both Checo and Max, she noticed Daniel lingering not far away, he’d just been talking with her dad once he’d returned over from the Alpha Tauri garage.

He walked so close besides her, and he didn’t even notice her at first, until she stood up from tying her shoe lace and they were all of a sudden face to face. “Hi Daniel.” She borderline squeaked and he felt his stomach knot and flip. “Hey, you alright?” He scanned over her face. She looked good today, not so tired.

“I’m good.” She turned away. “How about you?” Her hand raised to shield the sun from her face, actually looking him dead in the eye now. “Ah, I’m okay.” He seemed to shrug, and for a second it was a little awkward. When she scanned over his face she could feel her stomach flipping.

“You did good today, I mean- I know the whole thing with the track limits happened, but to get initially to 6th is so good.” She spoke, shrugging her shoulders timidly. “Thank you.” His voice was gentle, slightly hoarse, his chest ached so desperately for her, he yearned for her so longingly.

“Red Bull 2024’s looking promising.” She commented light heartedly, even forcing a small breath of laughter as his lips twitched up softly. “Ah, I don’t know.” He dug his foot into the ground as her smile, too, faded and she glanced over him before down to the floor. It was awkward. And it was about to get 10x more awkward when Christian walked over. “What’re you two flirting about?!” Daniel felt breathless at the fathers comment, he was positive his cheeks were already burnt up. “Dad.” She scoffed out a laugh, playfully nudging his arm away. Daniel forced a laugh.

“I’ll see you both later.” He gave Christian a friendly smack on the arm before heading off in the opposite direction and not sparing her another glance. She winced at the action, unknown to the pain that rattled through Daniel’s chest.

“What was that all about?” Christian asked, eyeing up between Daniel and his daughter. Again, she winced, cringing at the thought of having to explain anything.

“I was just speaking to him about the qualifying.” She shrugged, although her tone wasn’t so convincing. “You’re both blushing.” He narrowed his eyes, an amused smile forming on his face. She knew what he’d do, tease her to death, despite being completely blind to everything else that had already happened.

“No im not!” She defended, spluttering and raising a hand to her obviously burning cheek. “Yeah you are! Look I know you might fancy Daniel a little but-“

“Stop, I’m not 12.” She grimaced. “He is a great bloke is Daniel, anyway.” Oh my god. She officially wanted the ground to swallow her up. Not only had her dad said this to her, but he ensured Max Verstappen was in right in the firing point, overhearing all the conversation.

Max oddly looked like he’d seen a ghost, he was slowly puzzling everything together and now he was convinced that y/n and Daniel were secretly doing it behind everybody’s backs. The girl in the hotel room, the ‘discreet’ love bite on her collarbone, the hushed conversations- Max was a genius!

“I knew it!” He stormed over, filled with excitement. As soon as Christian had left the scene, he was bursting to expose the secret he’d discovered. “Know what?!” She turned in surprise.

“You and Daniel, you’re together!” Oh fuck. She felt her eyes bulge and heart begin pounding. “What?! No, no, Max, no we’re not.” His smile faded seeing as how hushed she was being about it. “You’re not?!”

“No! I mean- no…” “But I’ve seen it, I’ve heard you both.” She cringed again at his words and knew there was no denying, she just needed to quieten him.

“No- I mean yes, but we’re not anymore. Please, please don’t say a word.” An odd sense of panic washed through her, Max was stunned, staring back to the anxious looking girl. Her eyes looked the exact same way they did at the race track the other day.

“I-I won’t. Are you ok?” “I’m fine, I am. Just please don’t say anything, you can tell Kelly just not a soul else.” She pleaded, luckily she knew Max was a man of his words. It felt oddly freeing to get the secret off her chest, it’s like it had been waiting to just be blurted out the whole time. Now it really felt real, the whole thing was semi out in the open, did it make her bad to be exposing something she promised to keep secret?? The thought would eat her alive, but so did the secrecy surrounding her, very much, public sadness…

———————————————————————

🫨🫨🫨🫨

@dinodumbass @mccall-muffin @allabouthappiness @benbarneslut @ricciardhoe-3 @headinthecloudssblog

[muldermuse]

this is kind of a ramble so bear with me:

thinking about sending two sinners!gator into an absolute tailspin when he shows up to your house to see everything in boxes and your clothes packed up in a few suitcases by the door

he’s like ????? WHAT IS GOING ON WHERE ARE YOU GOING???? and just casually saying “skipping town” and going to kiss him and he’s like ??????

i can only imagine the catharsis of telling him that “there’s nothing in fargo for me, most of the town hates me and the ones who don’t just wanna fuck me, you’re probably gonna marry glenda which will only make everyone hate me even more if they find out i’m the other woman. So I want to live somewhere else. I’m not happy here.” and he obv freaks out

and maybe you’re just going to stay at a friends house while your place gets painted, but maybe leaving was on your mind (it’s easier to sell a house with fresh paint👀), and maybe you wanted to see how serious he was about coming with you…but none of that is any of his business…

i’m usually not an angst girlie but i’m on my period and it’s probably a safer bet to be melodramatic and pick a fight with a fictional man than one i actually know 😭😭

ok this ask made me feral, i felt so ANGSTY writing it

thank u so much for sending it through angel <3

18+ only!! Angst below the cut!! Gator is mean and reader is maybe meaner. They're both terrible people. He calls her a whore, she calls him a lot of mean names. Mentions of smut but no actual smut.

Maybe, this is super far in the future for the two sinners fic or maybe it is not canon. who knows!!! not me!!!

You’re not sure how he found out. You’ve quietly handed your notice in at work and said goodbye to the few in this shitty town you care about. Jenson, Jax and Steve have been ghosted (but you know that they’d all come back with a simple ‘you up?’ text). You weren’t going to tell Gator you were leaving- he didn’t deserve a goodbye. You’d planned to go for 3 months as your place was going to get renovated in that time (you’d been saving up for years to make it more of a home). So, you thought that the months away would be an opportunity to become a new person. A better person. Someone who didn’t fuck pathetic Sheriffs. If anyone looked in; they’d think you were going forever. You’d decided that as soon as you left, you’d block Gator and when (or if) you returned, you’d avoid him like the plague.

The U-HAUL parked in your drive probably gave it away. Or when Glenda saw you filling up your truck and made a snide comment about what you were doing. Or maybe it was when you fucked him 2 days ago he made a passing comment about how empty your home looked. Since then, the entire hall area is covered in boxes filled with your possessions. You try not to let it depress you that your whole life has been packed up in a matter of days. You need a fresh start, you’re moving in with a friend a few towns over and you can be whoever you want to be for a few months. No one there has to know that you’ve been fucking a loser in a relationship for the best part of 2 years. You know it’s him as soon as he knocks on the door, no one knocks as loud as him and other people wait to be invited in. Gator lets himself in as you’re checking your backpack one final time.

“The fuck is all this shit?” He kicks a box that’s in his way and you’re thankful you don’t hear a shatter. “Saw the U-Haul and uh- Glenda saw you fillin’ up. Plannin’ a trip or somethin’?”. He tries to sound unbothered but you know him better than that.

You don’t look at him when you tell him, “Yeah, I’m leaving”. You tell yourself that it’s because you’re checking your backpack but really it’s because you can feel the adrenaline pumping through your veins and you’re trying to compose yourself before you lose your shit.

“The fuck did you jus’ fuckin’ say?”

“Sorry, I’ll say it slower because you’re a fuckin’ idiot. I am leaving”. You draw out the last three words and stare at him. You can hear your heart thumping in your ears as you try to read the expression on his face. It’s a mix of anger, confusion, and sadness. A soft kiss his pressed to his cheek as you walk into the dining room to check your toiletries box. That’s the only pleasantry you’ll exchange with him today- or maybe ever again.

His boots stomp behind you as he follows you in. “Well, where are you goin’?”

“I’ll tell you when I’m there, Gator. Now you can fuck off back to Glenda and play fuckin’ happy families for the rest of your life”.

“Well- why are you leavin’? You’ve never mentioned this before”. His voice breaks as he speaks, either a sign he’s getting choked up or he’s getting really angry.

You can feel the anger rattling in your chest and the sound of your heartbeat in your ears becomes overwhelming. “Why am I going? Gator, everyone in this town fuckin’ hates me or thinks that I’m a total whore because of your fuckin’ bitch of a girlfriend. Who- by the way, you’re goin’ to marry because you’re too fuckin’ chickenshit to upset your crazy daddy…” You slam your hands on the table and take a quick breath, “Gator- I fuckin’ hate it here, I’m miserable and I can’t do it any longer- it’s killin’ me”.

He’s stood opposite you and fuck, does he look mad. He doesn’t move for a minute but then shoves your boxes off the table and kicks them when they hit the floor. After a few seconds, he kicks them again with more force and slams his hands on the table.

“Yeah, real fuckin’ mature Gator, breaking my shit beca-“

“What about this? What about us?” His voice is more muted than you’ve ever heard it. His breath is shuddering gasps. You’re unsure why it enrages you.

You laugh cruelly, “What us? What the fuck are you talking about? Gator, you have a fuckin’ girlfriend who you’re going to marry.”

“Yeah but when has that stopped you- huh? You can’t put this all on me. You’re jus’ as bad as me.”

He moves to stand in front of you. The energy in the room is charged, usually, when it feels like this between the pair of you, it would end in some angry sex where you’re both trying to dominate the other person but you both know that isn’t going to happen today. 

“You’re movin’ away to be a fuckin’ whore somewhere else... or because you’re jealous of Glenda. She gets all of me and you jus’ get the fuckin’ scraps”. His smile is wicked and his eyes look darker than you’ve ever seen them.

You take a step closer to him, “I couldn’t think of anything fucking worse than havin’ all of you. You’re a pathetic fuckin’ daddy’s boy who’s never won anythin’ in his life”. You get close enough to whisper in his ear, “you’re a fuckin’ loser, Gator.”

You hate how much you want to fuck him in this moment and by the red bloom that’s creeping up his neck; you know he feels the same.

He leaves your home silently. He kicks another box on his way out and you finally hear a shatter. His tyres spin as his car races off your front lawn. 

You should block his number and know that that is the end of this awful affair. 

But you both know that it isn’t.

[em-harlsnow]

em have you seen the tiktok trend of folks trying to eat as fast as their husband??? do u think ian or mickey is the fast eater? or is it both of them?

p.s. i LOVE ur tiktok trend fics they make me giggle they're SO silly <3

thank you so much! i’m writing a lot of anxt at the moment, so these help me write something a bit more fun!

ian figures out the day after that mickey was fucking with him, using his own idea of doing the trends. he knows that he deserves it, but still.

a few days later, he finds a new trend. it’s not so much a prank, although ian’s been looking for those too, but it’s funny and a challenge so he’s obviously going to do it.

see, mickey’s a quick eater, which ian thinks is weird because he’s small. well, small compared to ian who actually chooses to enjoy his food instead of scoffing it down in three seconds.

he thinks he can definitely eat faster than mickey if he actually tried.

they pass a burger king every wednesday at the end of their route, and ian thinks its the perfect opportunity. they don’t eat fast food out as much anymore, usually ordering it and saving eating out for fancier meals. but when he suggests it to mickey, he gets an enthusiastic ‘hell yeah, gallagher, knew why i married your ass’.

ian orders the same as mickey, so the competition is even. it’s a big burger, the Double Whopper, which ian thinks probably has enough cholesterol to give three men heart problems, but he’s not backing down from the challenge. even if mickey doesn’t know it’s a challenge.

they eat in the car, and mickey almost looks happier than he did on their wedding day when he unwraps the thing. it makes ian jealous of a stupid burger.

he starts immediately, taking a large bite which ian matches pretty much exactly. faster than expected, mickey washes it down with a sip of coke and then starts on the next bite, leaving ian rushing to catch up.

jesus, he’s used to having things down his throat, but this is a whole nother level.

the thing is, mickey actually seems to be enjoying the burger which ian doesn’t get because he’s hardly tasting it. he’s moving on to a third bite before ian’s even finished chewing.

he regrets his decision, but maybe he can make this work. if he distracts mickey with conversation, maybe he’ll slow down.

“you know debbie texted sandy?”

mickey nods, continuing devouring without breaking eye contact with the food, and now ian’s left behind from his break to talk.

with his mouth full, he garbles, “did she reply?”

and mickey, completely content with eating with his mouth full, says, “can’t talk right now, eating.”

well, there goes that plan.

for a moment, mickey takes a break. he sips from his coke and munches on handfuls of the chips they got instead which ian matches bite for bite. annoyed, he notices mickey has a lot more of his burger left than ian.

“hey, what’s that?” he shouts, pointing, and while he’s distracted ian gets a few more bites in.

“what’s what?” mickey asks, looking to where ian’s finger is.

“thought i saw a big rat.” he mumbles around another mouthful.

mickey gives him a weird look, then proceeds to finish the burger in two more bites while ian just looks on, completely stunned.

desperately, he tries to take a few more bites but he hasn’t even finished what he’s already has and ends up looking like a chipmunk.

mickey watches him while he sips his coke, laughing.

“what’s wrong with you?”

“nothing, im eating.” he says in a way that’s barely distinguishable.

“you look like a squirrel.”

ian just holds up a middle finger, realising this is just a lost cause.

mickey continues to laugh, and ian just rolls his eyes.

once he’s finally done, he looks at his husband like he’s mad.

“what?” mickey asks, swiping at the corners of his mouth to see if he’s got sauce anywhere.

“you eat so fast i don’t know how you don’t choke.” ian tells him, finally realising he can enjoy the chips without having to rush.

“i’m good at not choking on big things.” he laughs, making ian shove him and roll his eyes again.

i hope it lived up to expectations!!

-> send me a tiktok trend and ill write a mini fic!

[lynxtheserval]

Can i request Self-awake! Yandere! Illumina x player! reader? reader main sword

deadass kinda hard to write with limited information so I'm so sorry if it's bad or ooc!

Also! This wasn't the best writing I've done so I'm so sorry for that, but schools been hella crazy ngl

Might do a part 2 if y'all want , but it might take a while to make haha

Self-Aware!Yan!Illumina x player!reader

(TW: not as hard on the yandere aspects, but still a tw for stalking (kinda), kidnapping (also kinda), and curse words)

It was a normal day for you, at first at least. You got up, went to your classes in college, went back to your dorm, and played a Roblox game for a little while. You played Slap Battles for a good moment or two until you got bored of slapping children off a cliff with your overpowered paid glove. You then got back onto your favorites page, and saw a game you haven't played in like… a week.

Phighting.

It seems it got some sort of update, because the game icon changed to… some sorta deity looking thing. You didn't know much about the lore, you were mostly just playing the game for the gameplay. You had no idea what or who the icon was showing, but you went into the game without a second thought.

It loaded up like normal, same old music, same old map, same old characters… seems like nothing much has changed.

So you picked your main, Sword, and got into the game. You went to where Zuka was, pressing all the buttons you needed to get into the game.

It loaded.

And loaded.

And loaded.

Why the hell was it taking so long?

You started getting a little frustrated, and made an audible sigh of annoyance. You tried to close the game, but.. you couldn't? You went to the task manager, and tried closing Roblox from there, but Roblox didn't even show up! In fact.. nothing did. Your computer was messed up. You tried to turn off the computer as a whole, but surprise surprise, it didn't turn off.

“What the fuck..?” You murmured.

Then your computer froze completely. You tried clicking every button, tried turning it off AGAIN, and anything you could think of, until the computer suddenly unfroze.

You looked back up at the screen, and you saw you were.. still in Phighting, somehow. You were still in Crossroads, But every other player was gone, and all the NPCs were too, you were alone.

“What the hell..?” You decided to look around the map, or the middle part of Crossroads at least.

Then you saw something in the chat. A name in purple-ish white text. A name reading: Illumina.

“Hello, I've been waiting for your arrival, Y/n.”

It.. it knew your name. Not your username, but your ACTUAL FUCKING NAME. Your own computer doesn't even know your own name! You use your username for everything!

You managed to type in the chat:

“Hello? How do you know my name?”

“I know a lot about you, my dear. Now why don't you come meet me face to face, hm?”

Your computer froze again. Then, out of nowhere, your body started hurting, your ears started ringing, your eyes got blurry, your head started aching, it felt like you were dying. You soon passed out.

You woke up startled. You quickly sat up, but your head didn't seem to be feeling too great. Once your vision calmed down and you were able to see again, you looked around at where you were. You seemed to be in some brightly lit white room with no door and no windows. You got up from the oddly comfortable bed you woke up in and stood up. And with a thud, you fell onto the floor, your legs giving up on you.

“You won't be able to walk for a few hours, Y/N. So stop trying.”

You heard a voice, intimidating and masculine in nature. You looked up towards the voice.

A man, or what looks to be a man, was looking down at you. A bright figure, with one wing, dressed in mostly flowy clothes. He was wearing mostly white, but had a hint of purple in his outfit as well. Not to mention, one purple horn protruding from the left side of his head, with two other small horns coming out of the main one.

You moved to try to get up again but before you could, the man picked you up, and placed you back on the bed. You both made eye contact, his eyes… they were completely white, and bright, they seemed like they would blind you if you looked in them too long. He took notice of this, and smiled slightly.

“Good morning, love. Are you feeling okay? Humans.. I do not know if they handle world transportation well.”

“I.. who.. who are you..?” You managed to ask, it was hard for you to talk, it seemed.

“I am Illumina, and you are Y/N, such a lovely name.”

He placed a pale hand on your cheek, and laughed a little when you tried to pull away. You were confused, and scared, but you felt so.. weak, that you didn't have enough energy to push back too hard.

“Y/N, do not worry. I’ll take good care of you.”

“Wh..what do you mean..? Wh..where am I..?”

“You're home.”

[redhoodinternaldialectical]

Finding character motivations for everything Talia Al Ghul does and says in Lost Days

People say she was manipulating Jason to be more violent but like... was she?? Why would she be doing that??? She spends years trying to heal him for Bruce and then tries to make him more violent towards Bruce because... ????????

I've read Lost Days a fair few times and it never felt like she was being cruel or manipulative and this has confused the fuck out of me for a long time. Since I'm going to be writing her into my Jason centric fic pretty soon, I figured it would be good to go back to Lost Days and really focus in on her and her character motivations.

This is a post because I do my best thinking through the act of writing essays, and figured someone out there might also be interested.

tl;dr In the text as written Talia does her level best to guide Jason to become a Hero again out of genuine compassion. It is her explicit goal to make Jason less vengeful, less violent, and more like the hero he was before he died. She is not predatory towards him, and the only times she works in ways that could be damaging to him are when she feels her own safety is threatened by him. Talia is depicted as a good but flawed person shaped by the trauma Ra's and the League has put her through.

So yeah, wildly over detailed analysis of everything Talia does and says during Lost Days under the cut:

Scene one: Ra's and Talia yelling dramatically on a lawn right after Talia uses a Lazarus Pit on Jason.

Her stated justification for doing so is "I did--what--needed to be done" (em dashes for choking). Considering she risked a LOT to do this, I figure she's probably telling the truth. She believed this was necessary.

Then we flash back to her first learning about Jason's death. She posits that his death will essentially break Bruce.

In the panels directly after this she's shown looking at a picture of Jason and Bruce, face in hands, clearly upset. Probably primarily for Bruce, but like idk she's an empathic human I feel like it's safe to say she's upset for the kid who died too, especially since the picture centers Jason prominently, with focus/close-up panels on both Bruce and Jason, with Jason's scanning first.

Then we have the sequence of her learning that Jason is still alive, through her agents who have been instructed to keep a very close eye on Bruce.

Her first big decision is to bring him to her Father. She doesn't make any attempt to hide him, so it's either a good idea to her or a necessary one. Ra's obviously wants to figure out how he managed to cheat death, and it seems likely to me, given that she's loyal to him, that she'd also want to do so. She doesn't seem to want him dead, even if she's at odds with him pretty much the whole time to one degree or another.

Then we get her investigating Jason's ressurection and the doctor she's got telling her about his brain damage and the Doc claims he's not getting better

We're just gonna breeze on passed that autistic affect weirdness...

She disagrees.

This is the third time now that Talia has had faith in the humanity and emotional capacity of people the rest of the League write off as being capable of nothing but violence. Considering she's been right the other times it stands to reason that she's right about this too. It also says a lot about her character that this is something she's repeatedly done.

She attempts to prove he's getting better by slapping Jason across the face, declaring, "He never fights back when it's me! Explain that! Never when it's me!"

This strongly suggests that she must treat him differently than the rest of the league, specifically that she treats him with more kindness and more attention. He recognizes her as someone safe, who he doesn't need to fight.

This is further backed up by the next page

Ra's then decides that all this has been a complete waste of time and demands that Jason be put out to pasture so he can't distract Talia from her work for the League.

During this argument Ra's posits that she thinks handing over a healed Jason would make Bruce love her, but that doesn't seem to be the case. I think Ra's is misreading her, in exactly the same way all of the League has been misreading everyone all issue: he's failing to understand that people are capable of actual love and compassion. He's interpreting her acts of kindness and love as something manipulative and selfish. Maybe that's something she believes or hopes for on some level, but it's obviously not her "real" motive here like Ra's thinks.

This is what makes her decide that it's necessary to make one last attempt to heal him, and get him out somewhere safer than with the League. It's a desperate last ditch attempt, but she's a competent motherfucker.

The rest of the issue is narrated as a letter Talia sends off with him in the bag of supplies she gives him. In it she says that she had other reasons for attempting to save him.

So, at the end of issue #1 we have three clear motives for why she healed Jason:

To heal Jason is to heal Bruce.

She has a basic sense of decency and wants to help a murdered kid recover. Jason healing is its own reward.

She wants to find out how Jason "survived" so that her Father might be able to replicate that for himself.

Healing Jason might bring her emotionally closer to Bruce.

ALL of these are based in love, and thus could qualify for what she meant in those last few lines of her letter. However, I think I want to emphasis that she almost certainly has to be including love for Jason himself, not just for what Jason represents to Bruce, though Bruce is still a huge focus for her.

And she didn't tell Bruce because Ra's might kill Jason. He doesn't want Batman to know he's alive, ever, and may very well kill Jason to keep that secret.

ON TO ISSUE #2

This is where it gets a lot harder to figure out why she's doing things.

Talia's first act is to refuse to tell Ra's where Jason is. Her second revealed act is that while tossing Jason into the ocean to help him escape she says this:

"Do not seek him out. You remain unavenged."

Third thing she does is check up on her loyal agents who tell her "We know where he's going You're not going to like it." This is immediately followed by the reveal that Jason is going to Gotham.

So uhhhh... Why doesn't Talia want him to go to Bruce now? Also, why does Talia think that being unavenged would mean Jason going to Bruce was a bad idea? Like how is the unavenged bit not a complete nonsequitor?

Cause the thing is, we the audience know what Jason is like in the future, Lost Days was written after UtRH, but Talia doesn't know Jason's personality, she's only met him while he was incapable of communication, so what reason does she have to assume this would impact him like this?

Hypothesis one: She knew about Felipe, thinks he killed him, and thus counts him as a killer of abusers, someone who would want revenge.

Seems pretty unlikely. There's absolutely nothing in the text to support this, it's completely made up conjecture. Also, she doesn't seem to think Jason is the type of person to do revenge all that harshly in later panels.

Hypothesis two: She's counting on the temporary adrenaline-rage-pain boost from the Pit to convince him to be mad about the whole unavenged thing.

Why tho? Like, for realsies, there's no reason for her to try to do this? If this is a plan to keep him away from Bruce, it's a dumb one, like why would that be her choice of strategy?? Also the letter contradicts this.

Hypothesis three: She believes it was wrong of Bruce not to avenge him, or at least thinks that most people would be incredibly angry to find they weren't avenged

Baring her just being fucking precognitive and knowing the future for no good reason, this seems like the most likely cause. Growing up in the League hasn't exactly given her a view of how healthy people handle their anger, and violent retaliation is a nigh daily obstacle for her to navigate. It means she told him that because she thought it was important and she probably always intended to tell him whenever he healed enough to understand it.

Hypothesis four: She assumed him finding out was inevitable, and wanted to do that in a controlled manner... uhhh... and the best controlled manner avaliable was... while flinging him off a cliff??? Instead of in the letter?????

Not buying this one.

We see Jason try to kill Bruce and then get him explaining himself to Talia.

That's... that's not how sociopathic works I'm pretty sure... whateves...

Talia seems to have believed there would have been a fight about the Joker, but not that Jason would have actually tried to kill him. Or at least not that Jason would have tried to really, truly kill him in such a cold, calculated way once all forms of Laz juice were out of his system.

So again, why the fuck was she preventing him and Bruce from meeting?! Would the Dark Knight not have survived a fist fight with an angry sixteen year old??

I don't get it. That's uhhhh- that doesn't make any sense to me. I guess she was just wary of how bad the confrontation might get, but not fully expecting this kind of rage? Maybe she was acting much more confident of her decisions in front of her father and was really worried about this outcome? I dunno, and that's all the evidence we've got!

And now we have a new problem! Why does Talia agree to help him?

She believes she's released a curse into this world. She believes that she has kickstarted a nasty cycle of violence spiral. She doesn't want to see Bruce hurt or killed by his kid.

So the only conclusion left is that she thinks she can better mitigate the damage by helping and misdirecting than she can by actually confronting Jason. Considering who she interacts with, that seems perfectly reasonable.

ON TO ISSUE #3

We get some proper answers here hopefully

Our previous idea about why she was helping him was correct, this is an attempt to keep him less violent, steer him towards other things, and let his desire for revenge fizzle or find a different target.

She's not giving him over to Bruce because Bruce would never forgive her for having kept Jason from him... And also Jason will fucking kill Bruce.

Make special note here of the idea that sex is why she isn't beating the crap out of this guy. Put a pin in that. It'll be important later.

Back down at the murder ranch, Jason finishes killing his teacher and then explains himself

I believe she's genuinely happy about this, because it is actually a step in the direction she wants him to take. He went from being completely obsessed with just killing the father who didn't avenge him, to saving a bunch of kids and delaying his own revenge goals to do it. The tin man IS growing a heart. Her plan is, miraculously, kinda working!

ON TO ISSUE #4

Further proof that her plan is working: Jason leaves Rip, the mercenary driver, alive. He's developing standards for who he is and isn't willing to kill, and those standards are evolving because he is being pushed outside his conflict with Bruce.

His treatment of the bomber's connection with the mob is further proof of this.

That little smile and her gently nudging him towards the idea that he's picking "old habits" back up is very telling. She's guiding him back to the path of actually being a Hero. I think this is meant to imply that Talia is deliberately throwing scumbags towards him to not only distract him, but also to remind him of the heroism he did before he died and give him new purpose beyond mere violence towards Bruce.

And again, her plan is working! He's doing hero stuff!

Aaaaand now we have another curveball. Why show him Tim?

Again, him finding out about this was probably inevitable. He seems more chill, the dark circles under his eyes are gone, I think she's hoping that while in the middle of a new investigation Jason will be in as good a place as she can find to tell him about this.

It's better than mid cliff dive, if nothing else.

Now, to head this off at the pass, because I've seen people assert this in other posts before: this is definitively, absolutely, 100% guaranteed, NOT WHEN TITANS TOWER HAPPENS. He hasn't even come up with using the red hood as a persona when she shows him this picture, so even if he let the extremely time sensitive bombing plot go for a day or two worth of private jetting to beat up the new guy, there's no way in HELL Tim would be able to recognize the Red Hood as Jason. Heck, Tim wouldn't even be with that set of Titans yet, the fucking HUSH plotline hasn't even happened yet!! Okay moving on...

ON TO ISSUE #5

Talia isn't in this one

Jason acts as a Hero. Tim man definitely has a heart.

I really like this plotline tbh, it's just great.

He kills all but one of the Russian mobsters that come to kill him and then he runs out of ammo on the last, and that guy offers up the Joker's location in exchange for his life.

This is when the Tin Man relapses.

ON TO ISSUE #6

CONTENT WARNING FOR DISCUSSION OF CONSENT ISSUES

He hunts the Joker down and fails to kill him. I want to emphasis here, that failing to kill the Joker is a failure to adhere to the morals that Jason has established for himself, and a failure to keep being an anti-hero the way Talia was encouraging him to be.

This is not him being a good guy. This is him getting worse again. This is him failing to care about the world and things other than his own revenge.

Once again he explains himself to Talia, and reveals that he's known for a while now that she's been stalling him.

And then they fuck, and Jason wakes up alone.

So what just happened and why?

First of all I think the fact he KNEW he was being stalled combined with his heroism prior to the Joker being brought up strongly implies that Talia's plan would have kept working and that Jason would have kept letting it work, drawing him more and more into just being an anti-hero. He has a heart, he has morals, but his rage for Bruce and the Joker eclipses those morals pretty completely. Talia's plan was always to guide him away from revenge and it might have worked if he hadn't run out of ammo at the wrong time.

Secondly, Talia has just been given a bunch of reasons to feel threatened. Her plot was revealed, and Jason no longer has reason to believe that she isn't an obstacle to his goals.

Considering the sheer amount of violence that Talia regularly narrowly escapes only through manipulation and leveraging men's emotions, it seems pretty reasonable to me that she'd assume she needed to do both those things in order to protect herself.

She tells Jason about Ra's death, claiming that she's angry with Bruce for that. I don't know if this is the truth, but it would serve this purpose either way. She's giving him reasons to believe she's still on his side. Then she gets emotional leverage on him by sleeping with him. Take that pin out of the fact that she didn't beat that other guy for talking out of turn to her because she was fucking him. Then she escapes while he's asleep and only contacts him again from afar.

She does both of these things because she is afraid that a freshly refocused on vengeance Jason will hurt or kill her if she doesn't. After all, she herself is a killer. Jason might just decide it's her turn to join his other teachers.

The scene of them sleeping together isn't framed as traumatic for Jason; he seems to be perfectly willing.

There two very important questions that need answered before we cast judgments though: Is Jason still a minor when this happens? How old is Talia in comparison to Jason?

The only indication of timeline that we have is that it takes place JUST prior to Hush, as the story ends with Jason meeting Tomas Elliot. According to the Batman Chronology Project, Tim should be 16 during the events of Hush. We know Jason is about two years older than Tim, making him 18 during this scene.

According to Dennis O'Neil "I’m pretty sure that Talia is still a young woman – young by our standards, not just her father’s." According to some random fucker on an ancient comicvine forum going by the handle "brock4618", O'Neil said in a different interview that she was 18 when Bruce kissed her and is about Dick's age, not Bruce's age. I can't find O'Neil saying that, but it does line up with the quote we know is real.

So this was a case of an extremely traumatized 18 year old boy agreeing to sleep with a woman in her twenties after he accidentally made her feel that she needed to use sex and emotional manipulation to protect herself from his possible violent retaliation.

This is still a deeply unpleasant situation, but it's so much better than the initial impression that I got!

CONCLUSIONS TIME

Talia healed Jason because

She's a kind and loving person, and was especially kind and loving when she was younger. She wants to help Bruce, she wants to help Jason, and she wants to help her father. She did it for love.

Talia kept Jason's existence a secret from Bruce because

Her father demanded she keep it a secret, then she was afraid Bruce would hate her for it, and by the time she ought to be warning Bruce about Jason, well he was a scary motherfucker and she was in too deep.

Is Talia portrayed as a sexually predatory monster?

No. A woman using sex to escape violence is not predatory; I will fucking fight you. That whole scenario was bad, but acting like she's evil for this doesn't pan out unless you disagree with some of the facts of the case. It also really doesn't feel like Winick intended for the audience to assume this was predatory. Jason never seems uncomfortable with the fact it happened, and he even gives Jason a bit of beard scruff to help convey that he's older now. (it uh... it didn't work. Because I thought Talia was like 52 at minimum. Also just the timeline. But that was the intent I feel)

Is Talia attempting to make Jason more vengeful?

No. Exact opposite actually, every lie and manipulation is in service of preventing him from going on his vengeance quest, guiding him to be a better person, and protecting herself and others.

As a side note: I haven't touched the potential misogyny or racism angles, because that's simply beyond the scope of this analysis. I don't have the time, energy, or resources to dig into this myself, you'll have to find a different post for that angle, sorry.

So... yeah. That's my findings, I hope at least one other person finds this useful!

[eunseoksimp]

Omg i am the one who requested a part 2 for the "love me , love me not " and i was told to suggest my ideas through the inbox, I wasn’t even sure where to do that soo yeah.. if this is the right section I’m glad. First of all ,your writing always makes me soo mad (in a good way) and makes me want to beg for more, even though I love your writing and would prefer the story you could come up with you kindly ask for my suggestions so hear me out, Eun Seok is kinda of obsessed with Yumi even though he has a girlfriend and their relationship was steady and better this time so he starts spending all of his time with his gf which make yumi feel insecure, hurt and everything (you named it) so she starts to distance herself from him which leads to his mental break down. Also, make her hate him a little bit and make it very toxic.. Kinda. This is all no pressure 💕 like I said it was too good in my head

thank you so much, for liking my work and also sending me this request. i initially had no intentions of writing a part 2, but your ideas definitely helped me.

i got extremely carried away (over 6k words is crazy), and i wrote a lot of this at work, so i hope you enjoy :)

Toxic!Eunseok x Yumi

Warnings: extreme manipulation and gaslighting, mentions of depression and substance abuse, suggestive content, basically eunseok just being the worst person ever.

read part one for some background on their dynamics here.

.   ݁ ˖ ࣪ . ⋆ * .♡ *:･ﾟ.   ݁ ˖ ࣪ . ⋆ * .♡ *:･ﾟ.   ݁ ˖ ࣪ .

‘i’m sorry yumi, you know i love you.’

she’d heard this all before, eunseok pleading for her mercy, telling her that he loved her and not to get mad at him. and of course she would easily find herself forgiving him, melting into his touch as she told him not to worry. tonight was the same.

eunseok was supposed to take yumi out the day before, to celebrate the one year since they began their own messed up version of a relationship. only, that didn’t happen because he instead rushed over to his actual girlfriend’s side for her art exhibition.

he was so caught up in showing up for her, that he forgot to at least inform yumi. she spent two hours, doing her makeup till she was sure her face was perfect, curling her hair and ignoring the times she burnt her neck with the barrel. she had put much thought into her outfit, mulling over the better option for what felt like 30 minutes.

then she waited, excitement flaring up inside of her as she anticipated his arrival. even as the time ticked away, getting closer and closer to the time of their booking she still waited.

she sat upright in her living room, not wanting to rumple her clothes, ignoring the growling noises being emitted from her stomach because she didn’t want to ruin her makeup.

‘i’m sure it’s just traffic. maybe he got caught up in something. maybe this is all part of his big surprise.’

she comforted herself with these possible scenarios, trusting that eunseok would come to her eventually, like he always did.

only this time was different. she sat on standby until the clock struck midnight, their anniversary passing her by in a flash.

it was only then that it became obvious that maybe, for once, he wasn’t coming today.

she sighed, ridding herself of her jacket first, and untying the ribbons weaving up her calves to free herself from her heels, kicking them across the room.

at a slow pace, she began to undo her hard work, messing up her hair, wiping off her makeup, getting changed back into her pyjamas. every two minutes she would tap her phone screen, expecting a call or a text from eunseok. but there was nothing.

and even though she felt hurt, even though there were tears pricking the corner of her eyes, her lip quivering, all she could think was, ‘i hope he’s okay.’

the next day rolled over, and yumi didn’t get much sleep, in the event that eunseok would call her, explaining the whole situation to her, telling her how he wished to be there with her, how mad he was that he didn’t get to see her yesterday.

but it was radio silent. she had made up her mind that if he didn’t communicate with her by midday, she would go over to his house to see him. she knew that he might not be pleased, seeing as he always told her to never show up to his place unannounced.

but she was sure he would understand, that she was just worried, and maybe he would feel her sincerity. only to be met with a totally different reaction.

‘you shouldn’t be here,’ eunseok dragged yumi inside first, looking back to make sure no one saw her before following after.

‘i’ve told you not to-‘

‘come to your house unannounced. i know this eunseok,’ yumi would be lying if she said she wasn’t a little dejected at his response to seeing her. did he not miss her like she did?

‘then why did you come? you know how much i hate it,’ he looked agitated, hands in his pockets as he stared her down.

‘our anniversary. you didn’t show yesterday and i thought something happened,’ she couldn’t help the sob that escaped her lips at the end of her sentence, frustrated and angry at the fact that even though her feelings were hurt, eunseok’s were more of a priority.

at the sight of her face, and how close she looked to breaking down, eunseok began what he called damage control.

‘i’m sorry yumi, i had an emergency yesterday then my phone died. you know i would have loved to take you out,’ he lied, but she was none the wiser, sniffling as she aggressively wiped her tears away with the back of her hand.

‘i really wanted to see you.’

‘i’m sorry yumi, you know i love you,’ and with those simple words, he had her in the palm of his hands. she would go on and on about how much she loved him too, about how relieved she was that he was okay.

‘let’s go out today then, it can be a late anniversary celebration,’ yumi suggested, moving to wrap her arms around his waist. eunseok flinched, not unnoticed by her as she frowned, stepping back.

‘sorry it’s just… i’m supposed to go watch a movie with minjeong,’ he refused to look her in the eye, afraid of her reaction.

but before she could say anything, there was a brisk knock on the door before the sound of someone entering the passcode traveling all the way to the living room.

as quickly as he could he almost shoved yumi, rushing to the door, not even bothering to look back at her.

‘hey baby,’ he lifted her into his arms, spinning her around in the process as minjeong squealed, arms coming around his neck to steady herself.

when he eventually put her down, she grabbed him by the neck to give him a kiss. it was deep, and it lasted long enough for yumi to feel the ache in her heart intensify.

minjeong pulled away, pressing another quick kiss to his lips before her eyes finally settled on yumi, shuffling awkwardly on the spot, eyes darting around the room.

‘hi?’ she tilted her head, looking back at eunseok to explain who the mysterious girl was.

‘my love this is yumi, she’s my partner for the new project we have. she came over to get some materials,’ he waved yumi off like she was insignificant, his eyes set only on minjeong.

when had his love changed? since when was she reduced to just a classmate, someone not even worth a decent introduction.

it hurt, immensely, and the corner of yumi’s lips quivered as she tried desperately to hold her cries in, making her way out of the apartment.

she looked back one more time, eunseok not even concerned about her feelings, or at least subtly trying to make sure she was okay.

that evening the rain poured down heavily, the wind spraying every single drop in her direction.

she felt her clothes cling to her body, and the way her fingertips were slowly turning red, a sharp pain accompanying it.

she didn’t flinch when the car that sped past her had drove over a puddle, splashing her in the process and adding more to her pain.

‘he doesn’t love me anymore. eunseok doesn’t love me anymore,’ these were the only thoughts consuming her mind, as she walked in a zombie like state.

she felt numb, like she was floating and observing her lifeless body drag herself through the city, no destination in mind, legs walking on their own.

‘why doesn’t he love me?’ she was so preoccupied, trapped into her own mind that she didn’t notice the once green crossing signal turn red, or the sounds of the cars revving their engine.

she stepped into the middle of the road, mind still far away until she felt two strong arms pull her backwards, almost stumbling in the process.

for a split second she was hopeful, whipping around, praying that it would be eunseok behind her, telling her how worried he was, that all the things he did in front of her face was an act so minjeong wouldn’t get suspicious.

instead she was met with the face of a complete stranger, towering over her, his eyes raking over her now shaking figure, worried about her.

unable to hold it in any longer, she broke down in his arms, the grief crashing down onto her as she clung into him, choked sobs leaving her mouth.

although he didn’t know her, he felt sympathy, pulling her closer to him and he let her cry, offering gentle rubs on her back.

she cried and cried, until she was certain there was no more water left in her body to expel, and yumi felt weak, unable to move from this strangers embrace.

‘do you have your phone with you,’ he asked, still practically cradling her.

she shook her head, closing her eyes as she felt an impending headache.

‘how about remembering anyone’s phone number? someone who could come and help you? could you do that?’ he was ever so gentle with her, treading lightly due to her sensitive state.

he handed her his phone, watching as she put some numbers in his phone. he stayed with her as she explained to the other person on the line that she needed them to pick her up.

‘thank you,’ her voice was hoarse, and barely above a whisper as she gave him back his phone, but nonetheless she expressed her gratitude.

‘you’re welcome…’ his voice trailed off when he realised he didn’t know her name.

‘jung yumi, my name is yumi.’

‘nice to meet you yumi, i’m sungchan, same jung clan too,’ he smiled warmly down at her, and she managed to also reciprocate a weaker one.

‘then maybe fate brought us together.’

sungchan stayed with her until chaewon ran up towards them, hugging her tightly as she went on about how worried she was.

‘thank you so much for taking care of my yumi. lord knows what would have happened if you weren’t here,’ chaewon said to him as he helped her walk yumi to her car.

‘it was my pleasure. i couldn’t leave her all alone out here.’

he pitied the young girl, wondering what could have possibly occurred that could turn her into this state. but he knew better than to pry, especially when it seemed like she was still recovering.

so he did all he knew he could do to help, by helping yumi get into the car, waving off the two girls and waiting till they turned the corner till he made his own way back, wishing her the best.

but yumi on the other hand was broken. chaewon had taken her home, promising to stay over with her as they cuddled on the couch, indulging in sweet treats and mediocre romantic comedy films.

‘is it eunseok again?’ she asked after a while, her chin resting on her head as yumi snuggled further into her chest. she didn’t have to reply for chaewon to know that he was the cause of her agony, the silence filling in the gaps.

‘one day i’ll kill that man i swear, for hurting you.’

‘you can’t. i don’t think i know how to live in a world without him,’ yumi whispered, and chaewon just sighed. she was so irrationally in love with him, it would be hard for her to move on.

‘yes you can. you’ve done it before, and you’ll do it again. it’s time for you to let that bastard go.’

she said nothing else, allowing yumi to soak in her own thoughts, wanting her to build the conviction to free herself from his clutches and rediscover that her own happiness did not revolve around that boy.

even though she knew it might really be time to move on and leave him alone, that it wasn’t logical to cling onto someone who clearly didn’t love her back anymore, she still waited for a call or even just a text.

maybe he would come around and realise that he needed her just as much as she needed him. but days turned into two weeks, and she received no attempts of contact from eunseok.

wallowing in despair seemed to be the only thing she knew how to do, frequenting bars and the liquor store whilst she consumed unhealthy amounts of alcohol. the thought of food repulsed her, and she was unable to stomach anything, sticking to supplements and her sparse drinking of water.

she had become defunct, devoid of any signs of a real human being inhabiting her body. it was hard for chaewon to watch, and she became more and more distraught.

‘let’s just go to a cafe or something. it doesn’t have to be a big deal, grab a few drinks, talk, anything to get you out of the house,’ chaewon pleaded with her, willing to do anything to get her out of her funk and able to assimilate back into society.

‘i don’t feel like it chae, im tired.’

‘you haven’t left your room in three days, yumi i’m starting to get scared,’ she held her hand in hers, crouching down till they were eye level.

‘please just try, for me. i just want you to be ok.’

eventually she gave into the begging, allowing her to drag her every which way in her apartment, helping her wash her hair, picking out her outfit, even adding a little bit of makeup.

yumi couldn’t wait to be back in bed, but she bore with the pain for a little while, just to please chaewon. she took her to a cosy cafe, not too far from where she was that day when she had almost been in an accident.

‘welcome to sm cafe, can i-’ the server froze, pausing mid-sentence as yumi looked up from her phone to peer curiously, only for her eyes to widen in recognition.

‘sungchan? you work here’

he was pleasantly surprised to see her, given that he would find at random times during the day that his mind would flash back to thoughts of her, whether she was still as emotionally wrecked, or if she was able to eat or sleep well in her state.

he had caught himself a few times, finger hovering over chaewon’s unsaved number, debating whether he should call and find out, but he decided against it, convinced they would find him weird.

that was why even though he was supposed to be working, his eyes would often drift over to where they were sitting. he recognised the affliction swimming in her irises, and it let him know that she clearly hadn’t been doing well.

even know, her spoon stirred idly around her cup, forcing a smile on her face as she listened to what her friend was talking about.

they stayed for a little over two hours, before chaewon got a phone call about a late shift change that required her to be at work. she knew if she dropped yumi back home she would go back to bed rotting, so she came up with a plan.

‘you should treat sungchan to a drink, for saving you that day. it would do you some good to stay out a bit longer,’ and before yumi could protest she gave her a kiss on the head and dashed out. sungchan stood awkwardly at the foot of the table, not wanting to make her uncomfortable but eager to be able to spend some time with her.

‘i have a one hour break. i could sit with you if you didn’t mind,’ he offered, and although she would give anything to be snuggled up in bed, she didn’t want to appear rude to the stranger who kindly cared for her.

‘i don’t mind, you can sit down.’

it was uncomfortably silent for a couple of minutes, sungchan fiddling with the ring on his index finger. trying not to stare too hard, whilst yumi played with the bracelet on her wrist.

‘i should um- definitely saying thank you. you know for looking after me that day.’

‘it was my pleasure. i’m glad nothing bad happened to you,’ he answered, witness to how yumi’s facial expressions softened for a second and she bit her lip. like she was trying urgently not to cry in front of him again.

‘yumi, is everything alright?’ his tone was gentle, and the question transported her back to her first ever meeting with eunseok. unable to hold back any longer, a few tears slipped as she shook her head, taking sharp inhales.

‘i know i’m just a stranger, and i have no right to ask this of you. but please talk to me, i want to help in anyway that i can.’

so yumi explained everything from the beginning, from the party, to the class, and even the continuing of the relationship when she knew he had a girlfriend. she was nervous at first, expecting some kind of judgement, but his face remained the same and he listened intently, not once interrupting.

‘and he hasn’t called back since then?’ he asked, when she was done with telling her story.

‘no, and that’s what hurts the most. pathetic right?

‘you’re not. all i see is a girl in need of some love, who may have found it in the wrong place with the wrong person. you don’t deserve any of this,’ he comforted her, offering another tissue when he saw her eyes become wet with tears again.

‘i just don’t know what i’ve done wrong. why does no one love me?

‘that’s not true. i know for a fact chaewon loves you. it might be platonic but it’s a start.’

‘you’re deserving of love yumi, real love. the kind that is not afraid to take you by the hand and profess its feelings. the kind that wants to spend every waking minute with you, that yearns for you.’

‘it’s out there yumi, you just have to look in the right places,’ it had been so long since she had truly felt a glimmer of hope. that maybe her mother was wrong, that she wasn’t hard to love.

sungchan hardly knew her but he spoke with such conviction, it made her certain that what he was saying was true. with this new found mindset, she vowed to work on herself, on her weaknesses, and the part of her that still yearned for eunseok.

she quickly became friends with sungchan, who was always sweet to her. he took her out on impromptu park walks and star gazing and even lent his shoulder to cry on when things weren’t so great.

slowly but surely she was starting to accept a reality where eunseok was not the centre. she stayed away from alcohol and drugs, made sure she ate her food on time and felt herself coming back to life.

and when eunseok finally appeared in front of her for the first time in two months, her resolve was much firmer than it used to be.

‘you coming to watch my game?’ he slid into the seat next to her the first time she was finally able to attend their shared class, not even offering a greeting or an explanation for why his presence was scarce.

but that was no longer yumi’s problem, and she recounted the steps she had taught herself in her head, courtesy of sungchan. don’t look him in the eye, keep answers short, flee when the opportunity presents.

‘cant.’

‘why not,’ he frowned at her answer. she never missed any of his games. even when she had rained curses down on him, told him she hated him, or how she wanted him to get out of her life. it was hard for her to stay away.

‘do i have to tell you everything?’ she still wasn't looking at him, preparing herself to get up and leave any time soon and it drove him crazy. just as he was about to confront her another voice interrupted them.

‘hey yumi, i think i'm ready to go now.’

eunseok whipped his head around, desperate to know who the voice belonged to.

sungchan stood right behind him, a couple inches taller than him and his toned biceps on display every time he fixed his bag onto his shoulder.

"hey sungchan, i was just finishing this report," she smiled sweetly at him, closing her laptop before standing up and putting her things away.

so this was the reason why she couldn't come?

eunseok scoffed at her pathetic attempt to make him jealous. looking him up and down he let out a little laugh and the pair turned to him.

‘you're so cute yumi. i see what you’re trying to do.’

seeing sungchan's confused face made her want to get away quickly, scared of what eunseok could say. so she took his hand and led him out of the room, not sparing a glance to him, leaving a rather perplexed eunseok behind.

the past two months had been bliss. minjeong had given up her player ways, committing to him and it was all he could ask for. they went on frequent dates, slept with each other every other day, and it felt like their relationship had been revived.

the first couple of weeks he paid no mind when yumi abruptly stopped the calls and the texts. she was probably trying to pretend to punish him, to make him crawl back.

after all, everyone knew a piece of her heart would always belong to him.

he continued on with life, focusing more on his girlfriend, hinging on the fact that one day, very soon, she would reach out to him again. and when a month had passed he just assumed it was taking her a little longer to come around.

he expended all of his energy on minjeong, but was finding it harder to answer the question that constantly came to mind. why did his mind keep drifting towards yumi?

there was a small space in his heart carved for her, and even though he knew it was wrong he didn’t want to let either girl go. he finds himself being reminded of yumi everywhere he goes, to songs he listened to and even certain scents he caught a whiff of.

so how was it possible that she didn’t seem to care anymore? that she was able to so easily walk away from him without so much as a look back.

his stomach turned at the thought of her finally moving on, being happy with another guy would kill him. he would stop at nothing to get yumi back into his arms.

eunseok knew it was wrong, but he didn’t care, showing up to her house the next night with fake tears in his eyes, pretending that minjeong had left him, that he was broken and all alone. he knew she wouldn’t be able to resist him when he looked so sad, and sure enough she moved aside to let him in.

‘i can’t believe she did it again, she’s so good at hurting me,’ he buried his head in his hands, attempting to conceal his false emotions, he knew her weaknesses, and he played it to his advantage, letting her lift his head up with her own hands, and reassure him that everything would be fine.

‘you were the first person i thought of when this happened, i knew i had to come to you.’

the guilt tripping was professional, and he revelled in the sight of the walls she had put a lot of effort in putting up crumbling down before his very eyes, and he didn’t even have to do much.

‘i don’t trust myself to stay alone, could you let me stay here. please?’ he could see the internal struggle written all over her face, and he would be more than happy to tip her over the edge.

‘eunseok. you can’t,’ it took a great amount of effort for yumi to even say these words. normally she wouldn’t even think twice, opening her arms wide and letting him use her to relieve all the pain. but she had worked so hard with sungchan, who had told her he planned on making her his girlfriend.

what would he say if he saw her now? overlooking her own boundaries and morals, at the mercy of the very man who didn’t care what she was up to two months ago.

‘i just can’t,’ she replies, and eunseok has to fight to hold back his smirk. why was she fighting it when she knew she wanted to.

‘is it because of that guy? did he tell you to stop caring about me?’

‘you’re not good for me eunseok. sometimes you make it hard for me to breathe. it’s like everyday i’m slowly dying inside, foolishly hoping that you’ll come around and love me,’ he moved forward, inching closer and closer till only a small space remained between the two. she tried to move backwards but he was too fast, his hand seeking refuge in the curve of her hip, giving it a squeeze.

‘remember who was there for you, the person who showed you what love meant. i’m the one that picked up the pieces of your broken heart,’ he was so close now, eyes darting down to her lips and she subconsciously licked them.

‘that guy doesn’t know what’s good for you, he’s just trying to take you away from me,’ his fingers danced up her hip, trailing past her collarbone and finding rest on the side of yumi’s face.

‘don’t leave me like everyone else,’ he delivered the final blow, knowing he now had her right where he wanted her.

a small part of his brain nagged at him, constantly repeating how this was wrong, how it wasn’t fair to manipulate someone so vulnerable. but a larger part of him struggled to stop, the feeling he got toying with her emotions, withdrawing and seeing the light drain out of her eyes, just to ignite the flame again, it excited him.

song eunseok was the bane of yumi’s existence. her ultimate weakness, the only one who could bring her from soaring highs to dangerous lows. and she let him tamper with the trajectory of her life, time and time again.

she was beneath him, metaphorically and physically, as she let him have his way with her, whispering empty promises into her ears, pulling her close to his chest as she swore they would mould into one.

it was always passionate with him, nails scraping shoulder blades, heels pushing into his lower back as she clings on for dear life. it was like an art, one that brought yumi closer to heaven each and every time, mouth agape and eyes screwed shut as she chanted over and over again, ‘fuck me, fuck me, fuck me.’

and of course eunseok would do just as she wished, her legs practically touching the sky as he propped himself up on his elbows, caging her in as he relished in the way she squirmed under him.

the tears only spurred him further, some sort of god complex forming within him. he was the reason why such a pretty thing was reduced to a blubbering mess, mascara smudged as her lip quivered. whether it would be in despair or pure ecstasy, he didn’t care. as long as yumi cried for him, he felt like it was a great display of her devotion.

he spent hours making love to her, his stamina seemingly endless, as he spewed such sweet lies from his pretty lips. ‘you belong to me’, ‘only i can make you happy, ‘you will never love anyone like you love me.’

at the end of the night, the moonlight seeping through her curtains, he pulled her worn out body close to him and gave her a kiss.

‘our souls are too entwined for us to depart from each other.’

by the next morning he could tell that shame washed over her, that she knew it wasn’t a good idea for her to have been laid up with the same person who had her curled up in a ball, sheets bunched underneath her hands as she wept.

he played the role of the doting boyfriend well, making her breakfast, running her a bath, all as if he had made up his mind, that he would commit to her and her only.

how foolish of her to believe it.

not even two days later, she stumbled across a post, minjeong’s post celebrating her and eunseok’s 2 year anniversary together. they looked so happy together, as if nothing could break them apart.

to add insult to injury, yumi immediately remembered the outfit in the picture, the same one he was wearing when he had come to see her that night. cursing under her breath she felt her chest tighten, a lump beginning to form in her throat.

how would she face sungchan now? knowing that she had practically used him, there for her when she was struggling and easily discarded when she thought she saw a future with eunseok.

the guilt ate her up inside, and she stopped replying to his calls, or his messages, hoping he would leave her alone and move onto something better. someone that wasn’t as broken as she was.

but sungchan being the guy he was, couldn’t ignore the gut feeling telling him that something had gone wrong. yumi’s well-being was at the forefront of his mind, discarding any personal feelings he had. he just needed to make sure she was alright.

he knew her schedule pretty much like the back of his hand, and he waited outside her classroom, hoping to catch a glimpse of her.

instead he sees yumi practically drag herself out of the door, a look of defeat on her face. the reason for this trails after her, a cocky smile on his face as he calls out her name.

she shakes her head, picking up the pace, but she’s no match for him, and he easily catches up, grabbing her by the wrist and pulling her smaller frame after him.

‘what is he playing at?’ sungchan was sure of it now, that eunseok had something to do with yumi’s sudden change in behaviour, and decided to follow after the pair.

he tugged her into an empty classroom, the door slightly ajar, and sungchan slipped inside.

‘what’s going on here?’ he spoke up, and yumi froze, pleading with her eyes for eunseok to be quiet, to not tell him anything about how she had broken her resolve.

but she should have known better, that eunseok only did what he wanted to do. and that was why he whipped around to face him, all too happy as he addressed him.

‘it’s good you’re here, it would save you all the heartbreak.’

‘eunseok please,’ she was sure she would drop to her knees soon, the tension in the room suffocating her.

‘i’m doing us all a favour babe,’ he winked and it was in this moment that yumi felt like she was finally able to see his true face.

calculating, manipulative, selfish, self-indulgent. this wasn’t the boy she fell in love with. at least that’s what she thought.

‘you have a crush on yumi, don’t you?’ he redirects his attention to sungchan, who still knows no better about the situation at hand.

‘what does it matter to you?’ sungchan’s defensive, feeling like he didn’t owe him any sort of answer.

‘hey man no need to be all hostile, i’m trying to help you here,’ eunseok holds his hands up, as if he was admitting defeat.

yumi is an anxious mess behind him, praying that she could just escape, to be anywhere other than here.

‘it would be a shame for you to be fooled into thinking she felt the same about you.’

her eyes shut, head reeling as she swiped a hand over her face. it was all over.

‘why are you trying to speak for her. you don’t know how hard yumi had worked to get over you,’ his attempts to defend you were futile, all in vain because she had unravelled two months of work in one night.

‘hmm, i don’t think she did a very good job at that. i’m pretty sure you’re not supposed to be under the person you’re meant to be getting over,’ eunseok tapped his chin, practically mocking him and sungchan balled his hands into fists.

‘eunseok that’s enough.’

‘tell him the truth doll. about the amount of times you called me crying, begging me to get back with you,’ he showed no mercy, impatient, as he longed to see everything fall apart in front of him. nobody could have yumi but him, and he would make sure of it.

"stop."

‘or how about two nights ago when you let me in. surely you knew it was a bad idea but you still-‘

"eunseok shut up," tears streamed down her face as as she bunched his shirt up in her hands.

"then look me in the eye and tell me you're over me," his tone softened, his palm reaching out to rest on her cheek, wiping her eyes.

sungchan watched expectantly, hoping that she would quickly sort the situation out, that she would reassure him, push eunseok away, tell him how crazy he was.

but instead she closed her eyes, taking a deep breath.

‘fuck you,’ was all she said.

‘but you already have love. many times,’ the glint in his eye was pure malevolence, brutal, merciless, just like his actions.

sungchan felt like he had been punched in the gut, reeling from what was going on in front of him. she wasn't over him.

‘get out of here and leave me the fuck alone,’ she let go of eunseok, hands now shaking as she dared not look at sungchan.

‘as you wish darling,’ he said, but it felt like the fun was just getting started.

‘you sure you don’t want one last look,’ he taunted her, taking his time because he knew she wouldn't be able to resist not looking one last time.

and just as he predicted, she was facing him again and the grin on his face was hard to fight.

stepping even closer, he stopped when he was just inches away from her, his tall frame towering over her.

leaning down, he licked his lips, moving as if he was going to kiss her but instead found them by her earlobe.

‘don't fight your feelings my love,’his breath tickled her ear, and although his words sounded sweet she knew him too well.

taking a step back he admired the way her body slightly shook, whether with rage or nervousness he didn't know. and he didn't care.

‘i'm sure i'll be hearing from you soon yumi.’

‘don't be too heartbroken,’ he called out to sungchan, not caring about the catastrophe he was leaving behind as he sauntered away with his hands in his pockets.

‘you still like him,’ it took an unbelievable amount of strength for sungchan to speak up, his tongue feeling heavy in his mouth.

yumi was shaking, hunched over in the corner as she refused to meet his eyes.

he sighed, hating that she looked so broken, that one man had such power over her being. she looked just like the first day he met her, defeated, broken down.

crouching next to her, lifting her head, his words got stuck in his throat as he looked at her. a flood of tears gushed down her cheeks, chewing on her lower lip as she hugged her knees.

he swiped at her eyes but the tears still spilled down, red and swollen as she rest her chin on her knee.

"i tried- i- i didn't even mean," she was a blubbering mess, barely able to get her words, her breathing staggered.

"yumi breathe for me please, it's okay."

nothing about this situation was okay to sungchan. the girl he was convinced he could spend the rest of eternity with was clearly not over someone who didn't even have the decency to call her his girlfriend.

his broken heart weighed heavily on him, but all he wanted was to make sure that the girl he loved would cry no longer.

pulling her into his arms, he tried to soothe her by patting her on the back, another hand playing with her hair.

"i'm so sorry- i'm so sorry. i didn't mean to hurt you, i'm so sorry," she repeated over and over again, knowing that it was not enough to fix the damages done.

but it was all she could muster up for now.

realisation settled in. she would never truly be free of eunseok. that her heart was so full of him, she could barely call it her own.

[wannaeatramyeon]

omg can you write for samuel where he realizes that he misses/likes the reader when they stopped pestering and annoying him,,,, then the reader revealing that they did that on purpose to see how he reacts and feels abt them 😎 #mastermind

Oh. ok. That is good. I love it. When that moment of peace and silence is a bit too silent? Like something's missing? Lol or foreboding.

Samuel Seo x Reader: Too much peace

Samuel hasn't seen you all morning. Sorta sequel to Another work day

Samuel checks the time. A whole morning of peace has passed.

Well, he couldn't quite call it peace. He has no idea why Eugene chooses to employ morons and idiots that create messes Samuel has to tidy up. The politics and networking and schmoozing makes him want to rip someone's throat out. Maybe Eugene's. He chuckles at the thought.

Hmm. Something does trouble him though. Something is amiss. Samuel taps his fingers impatiently on the desk, scanning over his emails, calendar, notifications. Nothing.

No missed calls, no inappropriate 'wuu2' messages on the company chat, not even bizarre selfies sent to his phone.

No one casually walking by his office, knocking, then flipping him off after getting his attention. No one walking back the other way and blowing kisses at him. No one poking in their head with the whiniest "Sammy~" they could muster. No one lying on his sofa, playing on their phone. And definitely no one bringing him mid-morning coffees accompanied with a "looking sexy, babe!".

How strange.

Samuel can't admit to himself that he misses your presence, but he can admit that he has become accustomed to a certain routine.

What have you been up to?

Grabbing his phone, he fires off a text to you, arranging your usual lunch together. A minute passes, then five, then ten. Usually you respond instantly. He frowns.

Scrolling to his contacts "BABY GIRL'S BABY GIRL 🥰💖🍆" (a result of you snatching Samuel's phone and saving it yourself), he gives you a call. It rings out. He tries again and nothing.

Definitely unusual.

Samuel wonders if he should go and look for you, when his phone buzzes:

"STUCK IN MEETING SEND HELP 😫"

You've been in a meeting all morning? Surely it can't be that important. Eugene and the presidents are otherwise engaged today. And Samuel is, well - he's waiting for you. He grabs his jacket immediately, and heads off to the boardroom. Can't say Samuel never does anything for you.

As soon as he barges in, without even a knock, he finds you sitting on your lonesome; head resting on the table and looking at him with a cheshire cat grin.

"...Y/N. Care to explain?"

"Sammy! You're interrupting my important meeting without even knocking?!"

"What is going on?"

"Did someone miss their girlfriend?"

"Have you been here doing nothing all morning?"

"Yep," you announce without shame, popping the p. "Did someone miss me?"

"..."

"Did someone get worried?"

"..."

"Did someone try to rescue me from this boring, dull, corporate life?"

"..."

Samuel closes his eyes, pinching the bridge of his nose. He feels the start of a headache.

Suddenly his eyes snap open at the yank of his tie, with you holding onto the other end. You pull him close and give him a kiss, "Cmon then, let's go for lunch."

Even now, with your self-satisfied smile, and your ridiculous time-wasting, he couldn't help thinking you're cute.

Fine. Samuel will admit you got him good.