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heeseungiez · 3 months ago

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RESOLUTION 1) actually enjoy a party...

pairings! lee heeseung x fem!reader, choi yeonjun x fem!reader briefly

synopsis! lee heeseung has known you your whole life. he has always kept you at an arm’s length due to his childhood pettiness after being forced to spend time with you as kids. but now that you were back in town, going to school again, he finds his resolve to dislike you at all costs crumbling between his fingers. as if it hadn’t always been chipping away throughout the years.

content warnings! smut (mdni! 18+), swearing, mentions of bullying, joking about past trauma to cope, angst, jealousy, kissing, fingering etc.

word count! ~5.4k

taglist! OPEN! @strxwbloody @starsenha

a/n! first two chapters are written so i think it's fair to post this... feel free to let me know what you think! i actually don't usually write smut so um... yeah

masterlist | next

Good morning, Decelis! Guess who’s back?

And no, I’m not talking about myself at the moment, but rather, a princess of a successful empire, and our beloved black sheep of the school. It’s quite ironic, isn’t it? In a place where money is power, she has none despite the billions she’s meant to inherit. Poor girl, wouldn’t you say?

But rumours have it that our princess is back from her prolonged summer break abroad, and she’s different than we remember.

It seems that the good girl image has been thrown to the wolves, and the princess is back with a bite of her own.

I’m most definitely looking forward to what this year brings us.

XO, Miss Decelis

You put down your phone with a grin, having read the Twitter post from your school’s infamous gossip blog. Very clearly inspired by Gossip Girl, it was the talk of Decelis Academy when the first post appeared out of nowhere, featuring a very, very popular boy from the upper year, calling out his blatant cheating on his incredibly attractive, and notoriously vengeful girlfriend.

This was the first time Miss Decelis had something nice to say about you, and you were currently hoping to milk the pity points for what happened last year. You were tired from the constant jabs at your lack of social skills and neverending embarrassment, making it known to all of your peers that you couldn’t do anything right.

Everything was different now. At least for you, things have changed since your trip to the USA, if you could even call it that. Since most of what you saw was the best rated rehabilitation centre in the world, trying to get your legs to work properly again after the incident that happened last year. (Good news: they succeeded.)

Who would’ve thought that pushing you into a pool at a party could cause such damage to your body? Your muscles tore with the abruptness of everything, your ankle catching on the edge of the pool and you found yourself paralysed from the waist down at the bottom of the pool afterwards, nearly drowning because people, for some reason, thought you were being dramatic for the sake of it.

Your best friend, Lee Jeonghyeon, pulled you out once he found out what happened. And when you told him you couldn’t feel your legs, one of which was horribly bent and bruising, he screamed his lungs out to get someone to call you an ambulance. It was safe to say the party ended quickly afterwards.

You had to get surgery in the country, and then your parents decided it would be best for you to have your rehabilitation elsewhere. Far away from Decelis Academy. Since it happened a month before the term would’ve ended, you still had to do homework and assignments to finish your sophomore year, but at least it wasn’t around the people that ostracised you for whatever reason.

Originally, you were supposed to change schools. But the Decelis principal expelled the group that caused your injury because it was found out that (although you tried to keep it a secret for as long as possible) they had been bullying you for years. So yeah, you were back home and still attending Decelis Academy.

You completely blocked out anything that was said between your father and the principal as they spoke in the office with you sitting on a chair behind them. It was business that you weren’t interested in, and they were mostly trying to figure out how to protect you from stuff like last year happening again. Yawning, you stretched your arms, wishing you could be in class instead.

“She will be monitored, in case something else were to happen, although I trust your daughter’s rehabilitation went without much as a single snatch.” The principal glanced at you while speaking to your father, his respect showing in his eyes, his straight posture and the voice in which he addressed the man standing before him.

Your father nodded. “I’m glad to hear that. If there are any issues, please let me know. And let everyone at the board as well as the parents know that anyone who will dare lay a finger on my daughter again will be sued for their entire fortune. The acts of her bullies were not harmless, and even if what happened was an accident, it was done with malicious intent.”

Well, that was exactly why you tried to keep the bullying a secret. But what’s done is done. You just wanted to get out of the principal’s office.

“Good. There are more things we must discuss, but—”

You knew what that phrasing meant, already standing up with a smile. “I’ll go find my next class,” you said, cutting off your father. “Thanks for all the care and stuff, I’ll try to keep myself out of trouble and from, you know, looking weak and bully-able, whatever.”

Pretending not to care has become so easy for you lately that you internally cringed, seeing the pitying looks on the faces of both your father and the principal. You mostly ignored it.

“Goodbye, Mr Jung. See you later, dad.”

But you didn’t leave the principal’s office until after receiving a kiss on your temple from your father, a sweet gesture to remind you that you were loved — at least by your parents.

Lee Heeseung had known you his whole life. The two of you had known each other even before you were conceived, he’d say, and that annoyed him about you. That you were in every part of his life. Every memory, good and bad, every single one of his thoughts. Gods, you even lived in the same building as he did. So, you were always there, like a ghost haunting him for a mistake in his past life. So he avoided you whenever he could, unless it was necessary for him to be in your presence. Which was usually during any family functions because if the Lee family organised an event, then yours was the first on the list of invited guests. And if your family did, then his family was expected to show up no matter what.

Before Heeseung met Jay and Jake, it had always only been the two of you. So when you were children, he made sure to especially tease you, like pulling at your hair or eating the last cookie. It was his way of making sure you would stay away from him whenever he was with his other friends (none were people he really cared about, and although he still spoke to some of them, those friendships were distant memories). But he thought you were too much of a girl for him. While you played with dolls, he wanted to play with cars, and he was not going to let you rope him into role playing Barbie and Ken with you just because your face was cute with how round and rosy it was.

Then the two of you entered middle school at Decelis Academy, and Heeseung met Park Jay and Sim Jake. Both boys were from prominent families, and the friendship between the three helped all their companies bloom even more. But, of course, yours was always included as well.

It was only his luck that his cousin, Lee Jeonghyeon, moved in with him and his parents to attend Decelis Academy too. Which meant that you found a new friend, someone who actually wanted to hang out with you, while Heeseung was free to do whatever he wanted with his friends. And still, you never stopped trying to keep the conditions between you all amiable, even when they, especially Heeseung and Jay, were rude and dismissive of you.

Today, you strutted into Sociology class without as much as an apology to the teacher (a complete 180° from what you would’ve done last year) and went to sit down in the first available spot at the back of the class, which happened to be next to Heeseung. He rolled his eyes, debating whether he should push you off the chair because he’d fought really hard to keep the spot free. But when his eyes fell on your figure, he had a hard time peeling them off.

Miss Decelis was right. There was something different about you.

Normally, you would’ve sat at the front of the class. Not just because you were a teacher’s pet, but also because you used to wear glasses and it was better for your vision to be at the front. Your glasses were gone, though.

You didn’t as much as glance at Heeseung as you sat down, not even gracing him with your acknowledgement despite sitting next to him. You used to do everything in your power to get his attention (which he thought was cute but that made him dislike you more) because you thought you two should get along as your families worked so closely together, not to mention you lived in a penthouse at his family’s hotel, the same one he lived in.

He shuffled in his seat to sit straighter, leaning on the desk in an attempt to get you to look at him. But you didn’t. So he stared at you intently, noticing every detail about this new you that was back from America.

Your hair was cut shorter, messier, and framed your face perfectly as opposed to the girlish bangs you used to have. Even your makeup was bolder, wings lining your eyes, accentuating their shape. No longer were you following the country’s beauty trends, and it suited you more.

So he continued staring at you even when you opened your textbook and started taking notes with the teacher speaking in the background. He didn’t care for the class much, especially because he could buy notes off of someone from the upper year and then spend a fortnight cramming before an exam and still pass with top-performing grades.

You ignored Heeseung for as long as you could until it became unbearably uncomfortable to have his eyes permanently stuck to you. The way you interpreted the look, it made you feel like you were a fly he was watching to later swat once the perfect moment appeared. An indignant huff left your lips as you spoke: “Do you want to lose your eyes?” Your brow rose, but you did not look at him. Even as you gripped your pen tighter, truly considering putting it to a use much different than what it’s intended for.

The corner of Heeseung’s mouth rose in a silent victory because you finally decided to acknowledge him. “You could try, but I doubt you’d get away with it,” he replied.

“I would,” you mumbled. “I’d get out of it unscathed because of my current frail mental state and my pity points with the principal.” Despite the lie, you spoke matter-of-factly. “So don’t test me.”

“So you’re saying you’ve gone crazy?”

“Perhaps.”

“Is it enough to go to a party this weekend?” Heeseung asked sweetly, leaning closer to you, but it was him who ended up disconcerted when you turned your head. Your noses touched, and you pushed him away by poking his chest.

“You’re really asking me to go to a party after what happened last time?”

“Nobody’s gonna try to hurt you if you’re with me,” Heeseung said with certainty, but you squinted your eyes at the statement. For two reasons in total. One, he was among the most popular guys at Decelis Academy, so going with him meant antagonising at least half of the school; and two, why was he asking you to go to the party with him?

“Of all the people at this school, your pity is the one I need the least,” you scoffed, shaking your head. “We’ve never been friends before, Heeseung, so let’s not pretend we are friends now.”

Heeseung furrowed his brows at you. “This isn’t about pity—”

“What else would it be about? You don’t like me, and I’m tired, okay? I get it, and I’m not gonna bother your stupid I’m-better-than-thou self anymore. You were right, Heeseung. Just because our families are close, we don’t need to be.” You shut him up, turning away from him to bring your attention back to the lecture.

Heeseung gaped at you, blinking a few times to comprehend your rejection properly. But this was never about pity. It was about your attention, and how much he wanted to have it now that you were back.

But he couldn’t exactly tell you that he missed your stupid little face whenever there was a family function during the summer, could he? You were the girl he knew since the day you were born, and the last thing he wanted to face was the simple fact that he didn’t, in fact, dislike you.

Despite rejecting Heeseung’s offer to go with him, you did turn up to the party. It was easy to find out that Yang Jeongin was throwing one alongside Seo Changbin, since it seemed that Changbin’s family was away on a business trip. So you dressed up and went to the Seo family mansion with Jeonghyeon, your best friend and neighbour, and Park Hanbin at your side.

The dress you wore today was thin and far more revealing than what you would’ve worn last year, but this was all a part of your plan for this following year. You had a bunch of resolutions for your junior year and onward that you wanted to fulfil as fast as possible, all of which would help you live a life worthy of being spoken about on Miss Decelis, rather than being constantly humiliated by your lack of… living.

Today, Miss Decelis reported on seeing Park Jay and his new fling — an older woman possibly twice his age — leaving a motel together. That was the kind of life you wanted to lead, instead of the perfect princess with a spotless past who didn’t even fight back against her bullies.

So the first resolution you had was to attend a party and actually enjoy being there. In the past, you always attended because your friends would. Since you didn’t drink, you were the person who looked after everyone.

“Look, Ning and Winter are there,” Hanbin pointed toward the two girls, and you grinned, making your way toward them.

“Hi!” you greeted them.

“Hey, girl! You look scrumptious,” Ning remarked, eyeing your outfit with a smirk. “I’m really liking this new you. Are you trying to get on Miss Decelis tonight or what?”

You shrugged, a hint of a smile on your lips. “It certainly wouldn’t hurt. As long as it’s not something commemorating what happened to me at my last party, or… anything before, really.”

“It’s been shit these past few years,” said Winter, earning hums of agreement. “I’d rather never appear on Miss Decelis unless she has something good to say. I mean, we’re not even men, so we can’t just walk around like everything is fine after hooking up with someone the age of our mother…” Winter rolled her eyes, referencing the last post about Jay.

“Lucky you, then. Miss Decelis has never said anything bad about you. At least not something that wasn’t true,” you said matter-of-factly, well versed in the posts of the gossip monger. Although, in your opinion, Winter led an exciting life, it was never out of line enough to be reported on.

Winter giggled. “True.”

“And Jeonghyeon is a beloved hero now,” you added with a nod toward your best friend. It was a bit of a stretch, but he was viewed as someone swoon-worthy after pulling you out of the pool and saving your life. Miss Decelis surely made it sound like it before last school year ended.

He frowned, not liking the reminder of what had happened. It affected him more than you, clearly, the idea of losing you over someone thinking that pushing you into a pool would be a harmless enough prank. You shouldn’t be joking about it, yet it was your coping mechanism. The more jokes you made, the less real it became, and the less it hurt.

“I’m never leaving your side,” he grumbled, interlocking your arm with his.

“Please do,” you said, trying to shake him off, but he didn’t let go. “Hyeon, I’ll be fine. I’m serious.” You glared at him, yanking your arm from his grip the more he tried to keep you in place.

“Dude, let her go.” It was Hanbin who spoke, sensing your discomfort. “We’re all worried for her, but this isn’t doing her any favours.”

Ning and Winter nodded as well. “We’ll keep an eye on her, don’t worry,” they said, but it was hard to keep a promise when all of you planned to drink the night away.

Two hours in, you were already spent and dizzy. But you were giggling, and couldn’t say that you weren’t enjoying yourself. Especially the attention you got from people who couldn’t stop staring at you and the piece of fabric that mostly covered only your important parts.

A year ago, you were weighed down by the chains of responsibility, drowning you the same way the water had at the bottom of the pool. You couldn’t even allow yourself to enjoy the smallest things back then in fear of being judged. This time, if someone bullies you, you will be sure to hit back. And you’re going to hit back hard.

The sofa dipped with a new weight upon it, and you turned to face a familiar face. Someone you had come across in America a few times and had pleasant interactions with (if you could call it that).

Choi Yeonjun looked magnificent even with his cheeks flushed red, his hair dishevelled and eyes dazed. His pouty lips were captured in between his teeth, and you grinned at him when he cuddled up to you. “Hello,” he mumbled against the bare skin of your shoulder.

“Hey.” You shifted in your seat, simply to make both of you rest comfortably on the sofa. “Haven’t seen your face in a while,” you said, and he hummed, looking into your eyes.

“You took my advice,” he remarked, and you knew what he meant by it.

The change of your hairstyle, your general clothing preferences and view of life wasn’t just something you came up with on your own. Because when you had seen Yeonjun the last time, before he had to leave, he told you that you should live your life a little. Stop pretending to be perfect, and start being your authentic self — the version of you he had met in the States. The version of you that you wanted to be rather than a version that society wanted you to be.

“Very wise advice,” you agreed with a grin.

“I always know what’s up,” he grinned back at you, his arms snaking around your waist, seeking the warmth of your body in the most innocent way possible, though it could be easily misinterpreted. But you and Yeonjun were friends (question mark?).

Friends who may have kissed, but friends regardless.

“Where’s your friends?” you asked Yeonjun, running your hand through his hair to tame it. It was surprisingly soft, but that was perhaps a perk of expensive hair care.

“Playing beer-pong,” he answered, purring like a cat as you continued playing with his hair. “Taehyun is playing against Soobin, Beomgyu and Kai, trying to get the three of them drunk, since they actually suck ass at beer pong.” You yelped when Yeonjun moved suddenly to lift your legs and put them over his lap. “I was supposed to be on Taehyun’s team but it was more fair without me.”

“That bad?” You could barely breathe with how close Yeonjun was to you. In your mind, you two were friends, but you didn’t actually know how he viewed you. You were never adept at interacting with guys beyond the realm of platonic relationships.

Yeonjun hummed. “I don’t like feeling left out but… I guess I wouldn’t have known you’re here otherwise.”

“Well, there is a lot of people. And this is a huge house,” you said breathlessly when Yeonjun’s hands slipped underneath your dress through the back, caressing your skin with tenderness you had only read about before.

Had you mentioned your second resolution of the year earlier? The fact that you wanted to lose your virginity?

Choi Yeonjun seemed like the perfect candidate for making it happen. But you also couldn’t deny the fact that you were drunk, and he was probably even worse off.

Still, you couldn’t resist the urge to slip your hands beneath his loose T-shirt, exploring his toned stomach. You were sure he had once boasted to you about having his own gym at home.

Yeonjun looked up at you with his eyes open wide, and his pupils dilated.

It was you who asked, “Can I kiss you?” But it was him who closed the distance between the two of you, Yeonjun’s mouth expertly dancing alongside yours.

This kiss was different to the ones you shared in America. Those were small, fleeting kisses stolen in moments of peace, where the both of you wanted to sear the memories into your brains. But this kiss was hungry, full of heat you’ve never let yourself feel before. Yeonjun grabbed at every part of you in an attempt to bring you closer, while you let him, well aware that everyone could see you, but you didn’t care. Not anymore, anyway.

It was his advice you were following, after all.

“Yeonjun,” you spoke, trying to catch your breath.

“Yeah?” The boy was merciful enough to let you breathe, choosing to attack your neck instead, leaving sloppy kisses along the sensitive skin. You moaned when he bit an especially tender spot, and he smirked against your skin.

“I need—”

Yeonjun silenced you with his lips on yours, not letting you finish the sentence. Instead, his hand moved up your thigh, massaging a spot not close enough to where you really wanted his hand to be. “Not here, darling,” he whispered in your ear before helping you stand up.

Taking your hand, Yeonjun knew exactly where the two of you would need to go to get some well-earned privacy. If it wasn’t for the storm of a person right in front of you with his arms folded across his chest, nearly fuming.

“The fuck do you think you’re doing?” The question wasn’t aimed at you. As if you didn’t have a mind of your own and you weren’t capable of making your own decisions.

Yeonjun glanced between you and the tall boy who stepped in your way. “That’s the guy who’s been ignoring you your whole life, right?” he said, knowing that the comment hurt Heeseung more than it did you. Because while you came to terms with it, Heeseung was just starting to feel guilty about it. He bristled, not liking that Yeonjun even knew this much about you.

“Get out of the way, Heeseung,” you said evenly, though anger easily washed over you. How dare he, the well-known fuck boy of Decelis Academy, cockblock you?

“No.” Heeseung shook his head, grabbing your hand.

You didn’t even realise it when he pulled you to himself and started dragging you away from Yeonjun. By the time you tried to fight him on it, you were losing Yeonjun in the crowd, and Heeseung’s grip on you was strong enough to bruise, so attempting to get out of his grasp would do more harm than good.

“Are you crazy? What the fuck are you doing? Heeseung!” you shouted over the music as he dragged you through the mansion like a doll until the both of you were out of the house, at the empty front yard. “Heeseung!”

He didn’t respond to you until he opened the door to a car that was not his, but he had access to it. He practically pushed you inside the vehicle without as much as a word, trapping you inside with him.

“What’s your fucking problem?” you spat venomously, facing him in the back of the car. It was dark and you could barely see anything besides the outline of Heeseung’s figure. A very tall and attractive figure with broad shoulders that, because of your moment with Yeonjun, made you think things you should not be having about Lee Heeseung.

“Are you insane? Hooking up with Choi Yeonjun?” He finally spoke up. His voice was deeper, a near growl, and you scoffed at his hypocrisy.

“So what? I like him,” you said, crossing your arms. “I’m not the same person I used to be and I’m not going back. So whatever your deal is, leave me the fuck out.”

Heeseung’s jaw clenched as he stared at you, completely oblivious to the unreasonable amounts of jealousy rushing through his system. He, of all people, should care about who you hook up with the least, and yet here he was, having trapped you inside Sunghoon’s car to keep you away from Yeonjun, who clearly wanted to take everything you had to offer. He had watched you from a distance, longer than he should’ve, and he hated the way he wished to be in Yeonjun’s place.

“I was the one who told you about this party.” He glared at you, and your stupidly attractive face, incapable of deciding whether doing this was a good idea or not. Because he didn’t just trap you with him. He trapped himself with you.

“So what? I just wanted to enjoy myself for once, for fuck’s sake. Is that such a crime?” You reciprocated Heeseung’s glare, your cheeks flushed and body hot despite the chilly temperature inside the car. You wanted to jump him. Whether to kill him or to finally have your brains fucked out of you, you weren’t sure.

“Yes, yes it is,” Heeseung replied, licking his lips. “Because it’s not with me.”

The latter.

It was most certainly the latter.

The hate coursing through you charged your oncoming actions, and you cupped Heeseung’s cheeks in your hands, bringing his plush lips to yours, making him the second guy you’ve kissed, ever, and the second guy today. It occurred to you that you really did not even care who you lost your virginity to.

Heeseung was as good as anyone else.

A part of you didn’t expect him to kiss you back, but you were pleasantly surprised when he did, his hands moving to your waist. Bringing you closer to him, he let his hands wander further than Yeonjun’s did, swallowing the gasp that left your lips as he swiped his fingers across your clothed and very wet cunt. It drove him crazy, not knowing whether it was him who had that effect on you, or if it had been Yeonjun, but he’d do better not to dwell on it.

Heeseung was going to be the one ultimately helping you enjoy yourself. He would make sure of it, claiming the moment for himself. Claiming you for himself because he couldn’t bear the thought of you vying for anyone’s attention but his.

It had always been you and him. You were his as much as he was yours, no matter how much he had fought the fact in the past.

Pushing the clothing piece aside, he let his thumb slide across your clit, driving a moan out of you. Heat enveloped you with the sudden rush of pleasure, your back arching to give him better access. Your hands raked through Heeseung’s hair as his mouth travelled to your throat, kissing all the same spots Yeonjun had earlier, except unlike Yeonjun, Heeseung sucked on the spots with enough fervour to mark, knowing you would have to spend weeks covering those up.

Heeseung’s thumb circled your clit, enjoying every single sound that left your mouth, including the hazed “Heeseung, yes,” and “Heeseung, please.” Until he pushed his fingers between your folds, trying to find the spot that would drive you over the edge. He had no idea how addictive it would be to hear you whispering his name like a prayer to a God, but here he was, listening to it all.

He curled his fingers when he found it, and you cried out his name, which died on your lips as he kissed you again, fingers still pumping in and out of you.

“Heeseung, oh my god,” you murmured against his lips as he assuredly drove you to your climax. Heat pooled through your tummy in the most delicious way possible, and you moved your hips in rhythm with the thrusts of his fingers while he kept attacking your clit with the circular movements of his thumb.

“Yeah, princess, just let it out,” Heeseung said huskily, using the pet name that was usually reserved for his taunts rather than this. “You make the sweetest sounds,” he whispered in your ear, latching his lips onto your collarbone. A strap of your dress fell, partially revealing your breasts. Something that Heeseung took advantage of, his lips wandering lower.

“Oh, fuck, I’m so—” close, you wanted to say, but an entirely different sound — one that Heeseung wanted to bottle up and listen to forever — left your mouth when you felt Heeseung’s warm mouth around one of your nipples.

“Fuck, Hee!” you screamed, your body trembling as you finally reached your climax, cumming all over Heeseung’s fingers. He continued his movements even as you rode out your high, and when he wanted to kiss you again, he took a moment to appreciate the relaxed look on your face. Something very rare from a person who used to forbid themselves from having fun.

See, Heeseung didn’t dislike you.

He just liked you more than he wanted to admit.

The sound of the car's unlocking beep pulled the two of you apart, much to both your discontent. But it wasn’t hard to school your expression back into one of hatred as you looked back at Heeseung while his friends filed inside the car. You crossed your arms and legs, turning away from him.

“We’re taking you home, apparently,” said Park Sunghoon with a smile on his face because he’d always been the one guy in the group who genuinely seemed to get along with you. He was the designated driver, but you guessed that had something to do with him being an athlete on a scholarship.

Park Jay took the passenger seat next to Sunghoon, and when Sim Jake got inside, he made you sit in the middle between him and Heeseung. You were glad you could blame the flush on your cheeks on alcohol.

“Hey, Y/N, I had no clue you were at the party!” Jake’s bright voice forced you to look at him. His blond hair was styled out of his face, and you couldn’t help but think that it suited him. You still wondered if he had dyed it over the summer because of a dare, or simply because he wanted to.

“Yeah, well, maybe that’s a good thing,” you mumbled, trying to make yourself smaller as you felt Heeseung’s heat against your skin. “Means nobody tried to drown me in the pool or anything.”

“Don’t fucking joke about that, Y/N.” Jay’s sharp voice cut through the air like a knife, making you straighten in your seat, your eyes wide in surprise.

“Why can’t I? You don’t even care.” You rolled your eyes, and Jay turned in his seat to look at you, his eyes scrutinising every part of you. Clearly, he didn’t expect to see what he did, and his gaze went back to the front of the car in an instant.

“Whatever,” he said.

“Your strap is falling off,” Heeseung whispered in your ear.

“Who did that?” Jake added as well, pointing at the marks on your neck that were starting to colour.

And you bashfully corrected your dress, looking away from Heeseung. “It was Yeonjun,” you lied easily, feeling Heeseung tense next to you.

“Ah, so that’s why we’re taking you home…” Sunghoon spoke knowingly, when in reality, he didn’t know anything.

“Yeah. That’s why,” you echoed.

Good morning, Decelis!

It seems a lot has happened this weekend. I heard that our little princess has truly begun evolving! Like a caterpillar finally turning into a butterfly.

Rumours have it, she got freaky on Seo Changbin’s sofa with none other than Choi Yeonjun.

Or are those considered rumours if there’s video proof?

XO, Miss Decelis

#enhypen fic #enhypen #enhypen x reader #enhypen x you #lee heeseung #lee heeseung x reader #lee heeseung fic #lee heeseung x you #haia writes #lee heeseung imagines #heeseung x reader #heeseung x you #heeseung fanfiction #lee heeseung fanfiction

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everpresence · 2 months ago

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stop caring about what others think: the law perspective

hi, everyone! ⸜(｡˃ ᵕ ˂ )⸝♡

i've thought about writing this post for a while, especially since this is a mindset that i am freeing myself from. i know i'm not the only one who grew up in the state of being a people pleaser, so this is for people who were programmed to neglect their own desires and give in to pressure from family, friends, and society.

the other day, my mom noticed that i had a really long gray strand of hair. i didn't believe her at first, but when she pulled it out and showed it to me, i was shocked. it looked like it had been there for months, and i wondered to myself what i did for this to happen.

seth said that your physical body is a reflection of your beliefs, or your dominant dwelling state. if you notice that there is something "wrong" with your body, then you must first look into your thoughts and emotions over the last few weeks, months, etc.

Physical symptoms are communications from the inner self, indications that we are making mental errors of one kind or another. ♡ Seth (channeled by Jane Roberts), The Seth Material

after seeing that gray hair, i knew that it was because of stress. okay, what was i stressed about? i started looking back into what i had dwelt on over the last few months, and i realized that i was stressed out about a lot of things. what stood out, though, was my inner conversations about my family. i was mainly dwelling on what my family thought of me, whether i was worthy of their approval or not, if they were proud of me, etc.

in other words, i cared way too much about how they think and feel about me that it had translated to not only having that long gray strand of hair, it also translated to other physical symptoms (chronic fatigue, chest pain, rashes).

and not only did it translate to those physical symptoms, it also translated to my thoughts, emotions, and the events i was experiencing in the 3D. in other words, everything out here is a reflection of your inner state of being. the cause is always inner.

i found myself feeling more anxious about talking to my parents, wishing that they didn't bring up anything that i really don't want to do. i even avoided them for a certain period of time because of this fear. and since the law is always working 24/7, they ended up bringing it up way more often since i frequently dwelt on what i don't want to hear.

thankfully, though, if i decide to do the opposite (i.e., dwelling on what i want to hear instead), then the 3D has no choice but to outpicture what i choose to experience with my inner senses.

when you consistently dwell on people pleasing, on your fears and doubts about your family, peers, etc., these are all going to be translated into your thoughts, your emotions, your physical body, your experience—everything.

when you care too much about what other people think, when you consent to someone else's limiting beliefs about reality, when you care about external validation, it is only hindering your infinite potential. you are only going to experience such limitations and unhappiness in your reality because you chose to try to fit into someone else's box.

As long as you're in a state of consciousness where you care so much what other people think and what their attitudes will be, you're not going to get very far. ♡ Reverend Ike, "Your Unconscious Fear of Success Affirmation"

i am not saying this as a way to fearmonger, or to blame, or to guilt-trip you. that's not my intention.

i am saying this for you to fully realize the connection between your inner world and your outer world.

nothing is random. nothing is an accident. you are always getting what you concentrated upon, and therefore, you ultimately have the responsibility to choose what reality you want to experience.

you're the only one that can free yourself from these states. no one else can do that for you.

the more you focus on being true to yourself, the more you shift your focus from making other people happy to letting yourself be happy, the more you're going to experience the happiness that comes with the authenticity of your unique being.

yes, it might feel hard to do so at first, but that's because we have made a habit out of wanting to please other people and being rewarded with external validation. it is what we have gotten used to since the beginning of our lives.

however, if you want to be the best version of yourself, you must give up all inner conversations about what other people think of you, that what they think about you matters. stop the arguments in your head. their thoughts and opinions about you have no power over you unless you choose to give it to them. it only matters what you think and feel about yourself.

your inner world is your refuge, where every single reality you desire to experience and is already promised to you exists in this present moment. everything is happening all at once. here, you can experience how it'd feel now that you are free to be yourself, to do whatever you want, to be unconditionally loved and accepted no matter what. you must make this a habit, and the more often you do this, the easier it gets.

I must consciously return to my new state constantly. I must feel its naturalness, like my own bed at night. At first the new state seems unnatural, like wearing a new suit or hat. Although no one knows your suit is new, you are so conscious of it you think everyone is looking at you. You are aware of its fit and its feeling until it becomes comfortable. So it is with your new state. At first you are conscious of its strangeness; but with regular wearing, the new state becomes comfortable, and its naturalness causes you to constantly return to it, thereby making it real. ♡ Neville Goddard, "The Perfect Image"

if you find yourself going back to those old inner conversations, don't beat yourself up over it. don't criticize yourself. it's okay. consciousness is the only reality, but you are also having a human experience. you are on your own journey, and this is completely normal. be gentle with yourself and let those thoughts and emotions pass over, as they are only temporary. then choose to continue to let yourself dwell on who you really want to be within.

to wrap this post up, i have a song recommendation :]

i stumbled upon this song on spotify by paris hilton which features rina sawayama (I LOVE HER BTW RAHHHHHH). perhaps the lyrics will resonate with you guys and allow yourselves to enter the feeling of being your authentic self.

#♡#loassumption #law of assumption #loablr #affirm and persist #loa tumblr #loa blog #spirituality #law of attraction #loattraction #manifesting #manifestation #imagination creates reality #self concept #self actualization #growth mindset #glow up #this has been in the drafts for a while #Spotify

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aliesbienish · 1 month ago

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A study of wolves - part five

chapter one ✩ chapter two ✩ chapter three ✩ chapter four

Your legs ached from the hiking, and your arms were definitely slightly sunburnt but otherwise your first day on the job had been a success.

The sun was starting to set as you and Paul drove back into the Rez. In no mood to cook you had already decided a trip to Sue’s was in order.

“Paul thank you for today, especially for getting me there and back in one piece.”

“No need to thank me, it’s literally my job,”

“Still, you put up with my relentless questions, and teasing, and impressively slow walking without complaining…much. I know you weren’t that keen on helping out today but I’m really glad you did.”

“Me too. I was just hesitant to get to know a new person, an outsider especially, so I’m sorry for making you think I didn’t want to be here. Maybe that was initially the case but I promise that went away very quickly,”

“I’m pleased, can’t have you thinking I have anything less than a stellar personality.”

“I wouldn’t dream of it,”

“If you wouldn’t mind could you show me where Sue’s is? I think I’ll go straight there for dinner. You are absolutely more than welcome to join me”

“I’d never say no to Sues’ burger.”

The idle chit chat continued across the table as you and Paul finished your meals. The diner itself was small and cozy, with tribal artwork splashed across the walls and delicate wood carvings etched into the furniture. The food too was delicious, and definitely worth coming back for throughout your stay.

Paul was also proving to be just as good company inside as he was outside.

He happily chatted about the tribe, and the natural forests around the error. He was clearly linked to the land he grew up, despite the earlier comments about moving away. However he did seem to steer clear about his upbringing, never mentioning any parents or siblings.

It was hard not be nosy, you had an intrinsic desire to learn every little thing about him, but you managed to hold off.

“So how about tomorrow, did you get the short straw?”

“The short straw?”

“Being my babysitter.”

“That straw isn’t short. I initially didn’t, Jared was suppose to help out tomorrow. But I may have already texted him to let him know that I am taking over. There’s no way I’m letting him have the satisfaction of seeing the first wolf sighting.”

“Should I be honored, or is this purely to one up your best friend?”

“The latter for sure. If I knew how to operate the camera I’d ditch you as well and head up there myself. Steal the glory.”

“Well at least your honest. But just know I will be sending a heads up to everyone in my phone contacts. Wouldn’t want you to get rid of me once we have the photo.”

“Darn, you foiled my plan.”

Your chuckling was abruptly interrupted by a nasal voice piercing both your ear drums.

“Paul, fancy running into you here” A blonde haired, pink sweatsuit clad, lady declared from the edge of the table.

“Oh. Lauren, hi,” You could hear the drop in Paul’s voice, seemingly just as upset at the intrusion as you were. “What are you doing on the reservation?”

“I was spending the day on the beach with my friends, just thought I’d stop in for a coffee before I drove back to Forks. I’m glad I did!”

“That’s nice, well it was lovely to see you. Looks like your coffee is ready so you’d better get it and head off”

“Don’t be silly, I can drink it here with you ,”

“I’m really sorry Laura, but we’re actually busy at the moment. I’m sure Paul can talk to you some other time.” You interjected, not comfortable with the intense stare she was giving Paul. The girl hadn’t even looked in your direction once. Hopefully you weren’t misreading Paul’s feelings on the girl, but the grimace on his face seemed like a good indicator.

“It’s Lauren, actually. And who are you?”

“This is [y/n], and we were actually having a private conversation.”

“I can wait! Then we could go out….or stay in. Up to you,” Lauren playfully pouted. You almost groaned in the second hand embarrassment.

“I’m sorry, but that’s not going to happen Lauren. I’m not interested in you like that,”

“Are you kidding?” She hissed, “and you’re interested in her?” Pointing a sharped clawed finger in your direction.

You prepared yourself for a polite no, but when Paul opened his mouth you thought you had misheard him.

“Absolutely.”

next chapter

#twilight x you #twilight x y/n #twilight x reader #twilight fanfiction #twilight #twilight imagine #paul x y/n #paul lahote x y/n #paul lahote x reader #paul x reader #paul lahote imagine #paul lahote fanfic #paul lahote

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itzrafee · 11 months ago

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A thing on Uran and Helena in Pluto

Okay a short little thing on Pluto. Uran and Helena are my absolute favourite characters in Pluto. Urasawa has always had amazing side characters, from Mr. Rosso in Monster to Lee Harvey Oswald and Jackie in Billy Bat to God in 20th Century Boys, but very few have tied off the emotional ends of the story like Uran and Helena.

Maybe I'm projecting here but much like myself I feel like Urasawa is absolutely obsessed with Frankenstein. And he recognizes the influence Frankenstein has on Dr. Umataro Tenma. Or at the very least, the similarities between the two. And so when he made the protagonist of one of his most popular works Monster, Dr Kenzo Tenma, he solidified that connection. Kenzo Tenma calls back to Victor Frankenstein needing to end his creation while also calling back to Japan's other famous Tenma, thus making the connection explicit. Another throughline between the three of them is that all three are father figures to their creations and have obligations to their children, though all three have varying levels of success with them.

I've only read what I like to call Urasawa's "Core Four", conspiracy minded thrillers that are essentially road trips featuring usually two main protagonists that we see the world through, Monster, 20th Century Boys, Pluto and Billy Bat. Though I still haven't caught up to Asadora and that could still possibly fit this mold, Urasawa's Core Four share a lot of themes and ideas. One of the most important being the responsibility for one's creations, whether it was Kenji Endo and the Book of Prophecy or Kevin Yamagata and Billy Bat or Dr. Kenzo Tenma and Johan, all of his protagonists could arguably be seen as someone with the need to take up the responsibility of their creations. So where do the protagonists of Pluto fit in there? That's where Uran and Helena come in.

But first, we should take a look at Pluto's themes. While I could be wrong, at a cursory glance, I feel like the general consensus towards it's themes is that it's about hatred. I don't really think that's what it is as I feel like Urasawa is more trying to show us what it is to be human and what it is to be alive. And in that, he has a hidden protagonist in Pluto. Someone who's influence snakes through the plot and isn't seen much, but without who the story's themes would remain incomplete. Pluto tackles what it is to be alive through many things, such as memory, sadness, grief, hatred, love and parenthood. But none of that works without the realization by Tenma of his own mistakes. And Uran and Helena bookend these revelations and are absolutley key to understanding that.

In my favourite chapter of the series, Chapter 37, Uran goes from person to person as she finds a way to deal with her grief and eventually comes across Tobio's grave, Tenma having left recently. It's an absolutely beautiful chapter that shows Uran's humanity and Urasawa's love for sharing these kind and soft moments. But it also sheds a light on Tenma as Uran realizes someone who was grieving has just left. Without saying much at all we realize that Tenma has finally realized his mistakes. In the process of grieving one son, he lost the other. While remembering Tobio, he let Atom go. His grief towards Tobio is clear in the following chapter, Chapter 38. All of the things he wanted Atom to be; Tobio come back to life, Tobio's ghost punishing him, Atom rejected. And Tenma could only see that rejection, and not what he had, another son.

Uran shows us very clearly what Pluto, the story, is. It's a chapter in their lives. And we've come into a story nearing the end for Tenma. And it's through the humanity of two absolutely amazing characters in their own right, Uran and Helena, that we are able to so fully understand Tenma. Despite being robots, these two characters are the most alive of everyone. They love fully and freely and are catalysts of change. Uran's vibrant and full of life in a way that really sticks out. And Helena has such depth that it's evident in every scene she's in. She's not pointed out to be made by any famous scientist so all the life she has is her own. These two represent the life of robot's more than any other characters in the series.

So it's that much more poignant when Helena finally breaks down after putting on such a strong front of everybody. Grief intersects and she brings out Tenma's sadness as well. They've both been putting up such strong fronts that it's heartbreaking to see them collapse. It completes Tenma's growth and strikes a heartbreaking contrast between the two. Tenma became the way he is through the loss of his son whereas Helena doesn't even get to remember her own loss. It makes you wonder if the grief for her and Geischt's child compounds her sorrow too.

Without these two and their grief, a large part of Pluto becomes inaccessible. Pluto is largely about death so when two characters come in who've never had a hand in the grim work of taking life, you see the world through a lens that's absolutely crucial in order to fully connect with all of the character's and their situations. Death and Grief has scarred the characters in Pluto. Time and time again they've chosen the worst path. They've chosen revenge and hatred. But Uran and Helena are different. Without them, the story is incomplete. They provide an alternative. They provide the path towards healing.

im sorry for this one:

#naoki urasawa's pluto #helena #uran #pluto #pluto anime #umataro tenma #astro boy #this was supposed to be short #also its largely unreasearched #i would need to read the original atom and read all of urasawa's other works and read up on the gulf war before tackling a proper piece #random thoughts I didn't put in:#something i love about Pluto is how each robot is a reflection of their creators in some way or another with Uran being Ochanamizu's love #the combination of jackie and lee harvey oswald will probably throw off so many people who don't know(totally not why I did it)#also God #honestly though no side characters feel insignificant in Pluto #Some more shared ideas between the Core Four are the burdens we carry and share and the importance of stories in our lives

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sometimesanalice · 2 years ago

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Oh Christmas Tree

Summary: Bradley’s never been one to look forward to the holidays, that is until he met you. He’s excited to do everything, including getting his very first real Christmas tree.

Warnings: Fluff, slight angst, allusions to smut. Minors DNI.

Length: 7.2K

Pairing: Bradley “Rooster” Bradshaw X Female Reader

(What was supposed to be a quick fluffy Christmas fic, somehow turned into this, enjoy!)

The atmosphere at the Hard Deck was livelier than usual, the music seemed more upbeat and the voices a little louder. It was the first time in a while that the entire Dagger Squad was together in one place. News of the success of the Uranium Mission traveled fast and had been keeping them busy in the months that had followed.

Things seemed to settle down a bit as the holidays rolled around, some has dispersed home for Thanksgiving while a few others had been given last minute orders to ship out for a short mission. You’d been dying to take Bradley Bradshaw home to meet your parents in person, but he had been one of the few sent away only set to return the day after Thanksgiving.

You’re sitting across from Natasha at a high top near the pool tables in the back of the bar listening to Jake talk about his visit home, while your boyfriend next to you talks animatedly about something related to his latest mission with Bob.

“I shaved off an extra 5 minutes from the last Trot. Turns out I’m in even better shape than I was the last time I was home for Thanksgiving,” Jake brags smugly taking a swig of his beer from his nearly empty bottle.

“Wait, you come from a Turkey Trot family? That explains so much. Please tell me, you guys wear matching Seresin family shirts for it too,” you tease without remorse. “Oh! Or maybe those turkey leg bobble headbands?”

You hear Bradley snort into his beer as he drops a well-defined arm across your shoulders. He’s wearing one of your favorite Hawaiian shirts from his collection, and you’ve been having a hard time keeping your eyes and hands to yourself.

“Bradshaw! Are you going to let your girl trash talk me like that?” You turn to Bradley to see him smirk with a shrug at Jake’s indignation.

“I mean, if the headband fits,” he replies lifting his bottle up in cheers.

“Darlin’, you wound me. And for the record they don’t match, since we all get to decorate our own with those paints in the little squeeze bottles,” he says pointing his empty bottle at you before turning to Bradley, “And see if I ever save your smug ass again.” He walks away making his way to the bar for another beer.

“Formal petition to change his callsign to Turkey now. Him and Rooster could be the Bird Bros,” Natasha jokes after he’s out of earshot. “What about you, how was your trip home?”

“It was pretty good,” you feel Bradley start playing with the ends of your hair, while he picks his conversation with Bob back up. “Since my sister had the baby, my parents have been leaning into the new grandparent thing pretty hard. So I set to establishing myself as the fun wine aunt, and basically drank cranberry mimosas all day.” You pause to take a sip of your drink, “Which I regretted immediately the next day when my parents decided it was imperative that we all go to their favorite Christmas tree farm as soon as it opened to cut one down together. Baby’s first Christmas all.” You unlock your phone to pull up the folder you made of pictures from the visit, handing over your phone to let her scroll.

“Since they’re flying out to spend Christmas with my sister and her in-laws in Philly, I tried to talk them into an artificial tree. Which is blasphemy where I’m from, I’m pretty sure the state tree is the Douglas Fir. My family takes the tree hunt very seriously, there’s a science to it and everything,” you lean over to swipe past some of the selfies you took to show her the completed tree in your parents sitting room.

“However, as you can see, my attempt to talk them into the lower maintenance, yet slightly ostentatious, fluffy pink tree of my dreams was met with a hard pass,” you say laughing to yourself.

She swipes backwards a couple times on the pictures. “This one is cute, why didn’t you post this photo?” she asks holding your phone up showing a selfie of you at the tree farm.

“Which one? Let me see,” Bradley requests, his conversation with Bob now abandoned. He’s already leaning into you and reaching across the high top with his large hands to take the phone from Nat.

It was a photo of you that Bradley hadn’t seen before. You were pink nosed wrapped up in cozy looking scarf, surrounded by pine trees and grinning into the camera. And his heart swells at the sight of the image before him. It’s just so you.

“You really look pretty,” he states sincerely. He glances at you briefly to see a hint of a blush spread across your cheeks before turning his gaze back to the picture of you.

He’d known you had been just as eager as he was for to him come home with you to meet your parents in person. You had even concocted a plan that involved him to try and help you get your hands on your Aunt Christine’s corn soufflé recipe.

“My mom has tried to get it for years, and she refuses to share it with anyone!” you’d lamented to him one evening after a couple large glasses of wine. “She always says she’ll email it, but she never does!” You gesture wildly. He loved getting to know all sides of you, but two-drink you was a particular favorite of his.

“Mmm. Girlboss, gaslight, gatekeep,” he nodded along in solidarity.

“Exactly, Bradley! You get it!” You take another long, deep sip of your Merlot, your feet tucked under you on his couch. “Me with my wiles and you with your Rooster charisma, I think this might be the year! I’ll set the groundwork and you can lay the ruggedly-handsome-impossibly-sexy-American-hero-thing on thick,” he loved how animated you were getting and he was having a hard time keeping the indulgent smile off of his face. “And she’ll fall right into our trap and release the goods all while thinking she’s staring in her own Hallmark movie.” He knew he would do anything for you, what his girl wants she gets. If that involves some light to heavy flirting with your aunt, so be it. He was getting soufflé recipe for you one way or another.

However, those plans were quickly dashed when he got the mission orders at the last minute. His stomach was in knots when it came time to tell you, but you were quick to put him at ease by reminding him there was always next year. “Plus” you’d said, “it gives us a whole year to craft our Stealthy Soufflé Scheme. Although, maybe we can pop up in May or June? I want to show you all the sights, we can even go hiking! And I’m definitely planning on taking you on a beer tour.”

“That sounds like the perfect trip, Sweetheart. I’d love that. I’ll see about getting a request submitted first thing in the morning,” he was already setting a reminder in his phone so he wouldn’t get too distracted at work and forget. He wasn’t going to let you down again.

“Oh. That’s probably one I snapped really quick and forgot to send to Bradley. I was probably already spamming him too much as it was,” you answer in response to Natasha’s question. Even though you knew exactly why that one never made it his inbox.

Since you’d be spending the holiday apart, Bradley had requested that you send him pictures throughout your visit so that he didn’t feel like he was missing anything. You had sent him ones of you at the grocery store with your mom, of you holding your niece, a few silly ones fueled by too many champagne heavy mimosas, and some less family friendly shots of you in bed wearing the deep wine-colored lacy lingerie set you had planned to surprise him with. And then a few without the lingerie set too.

You had known he wouldn’t have the best reception, so you sent them as things happened knowing that he’d respond whenever he could. You just wanted them there waiting for him. However, a few days in was getting hard to know what was too much when all you could see were all your outgoing messages to him.

You had felt yourself getting a little self-conscious and started second guessing the things you sent, like the picture from the tree farm. You didn’t want to go overboard and scare him off or make it seem like you were rubbing his face in all the things he was missing while he was on assignment. You had just wanted him to know that you were thinking about him- which was pretty much all the time.

Turning your head to take him in next to you. He’s sitting there with a soft smile on his face while he is tapping away on your phone. When his phone lights up mere moments later, you realize he’d just sent the image to himself and was now paging through the folder looking for others.

“For being a Communications Specialist, you’re really bad about updating your own social media. That one was definitely worthy of making it to the grid,” Nat announces as she slides off the barstool taking Bob with her to go dominate on one of the pool tables.

Bradley hands you your phone back. “You know, I’ve never been to a Christmas tree farm. Or even had a real tree for that matter,” he murmurs a bit ruefully when it’s just the two of you, picking at the label of the bottle Natasha had left behind.

“When I was younger we only ever had a fake tree. And then after my mom passed, everything with Mav, and moving around so much I just kind of didn’t ever want to think about it. I never thought to get anything for myself.” He lets out a breath, shaking his head slightly. “I’m really happy you’re sticking around to show me the ropes this year,” he says earnestly, sounding much lighter than before.

The thought of him fending for himself for so long makes your heart hurt. You lean into him pressing a lingering kiss to his cheek. “I’m happy you want to spend the day with me,” you tell him brushing your nose against his as you pull away.

“I did my good daughter duties, but flying home during the one of busiest days of the year was enough for me. And I wouldn’t want to subject you to the Richardson’s by going to Philly, my parents call them the Dickardson’s for a reason,” making a face that causes him to laugh.

“We’re going to have the best Christmas together, I wouldn’t want to spend the day with anyone else.” This time when you pull him in for another kiss your lips are eager to meet his. The slide of his mouth against yours never fails to make your heart beat wildly in your chest.

You could spend days kissing Bradley “Rooster” Bradshaw and never want to break for air. It’s only at the sound of someone’s loud wolf whistle that you break apart as you’re brought back the moment.

“You know, I’m still not over the fact that my girlfriend withheld such ‘compelling content’ from me,” he teases, using air quotes the buzzwords he’s heard you say from listening to one too many of your late night zoom meetings.

“It was the last day! You were getting in before me, and I thought you’d want the real deal instead. And to tell the truth, I didn’t know if I was overdoing it. I didn’t want to make you feel left out,” you explain honestly. You’ve always been the type to keep those insecurities to yourself, but you’ve been trying to do better. He makes you feel safe enough to open up without holding back.

“Sweetheart.” He picks up your hand his mustache brushing the back of it as he places a kiss there. “You could never overdo it. Spam away, send me everything. I love getting those pictures, it makes me feel closer to you. But, I do know how you could make it up to me.” As he sends a mischievous wink your way.

You’re hit with a brief vision of you on your knees before him in that wine-colored set he still has yet to see in person.

“Oh, do you?” You ease off your stool to stand in front of him, his legs automatically widening for you to step in between them.

“Wanna come help me pick out a tree this weekend?” he asks, slipping his hands into the back pockets of your jeans to tug you in even closer. “I hear you know a thing or two about picking out the best one,” his eyes crinkle around the edges as he smiles broadly at you.

You don’t bother fighting back the grin that takes over your face. “Stick with me, kid,” you say taking his sunglasses from where they rest against his chest and sliding them on, “I won’t lead you astray.”

Bradley had the best afternoon learning the ins and outs of selecting the perfect tree at the tree lot with you.

He had found a tree place with a festive name that was about 30 minutes away, it was probably a bit different than what you were used to, but he hoped you’d be happy with the options there. He had even called in advance to make sure they had the specific variety your parents usually got after texting with your dad to find out what he should be looking for.

He had wanted to pick you up from your apartment, but you had insisted on meeting him at his place since you had an early work meeting scheduled in the morning. And had greeted you with a coffee in hand from your favorite shop when you arrived.

He’d even worn the plaid flannel shirt you had bought for him when you were visiting home for the occasion. When he parked the Bronco in the lot, you had giddily exclaimed, “Bradley, look at all the trees! There’s way more than I thought there’d be. It smells like home!”

Once you were both out of the car you had grabbed his hand threading your fingers between his, and set off like a woman on a mission. He’d felt rather pleased with himself.

The outdoor speakers were playing the local Christmas radio station and there were rows and rows of trees under a few large white topped tents. He loved how seriously you were taking this, and if he wasn’t already totally enamored with you this would have sealed the deal.

You’d taught him how to determine its freshness, “You have to pull a needle off and see if it bends or snaps. If it snaps then it’s already way too dried out and you’re just purchasing a giant match stick.”

From there the came the scent test, “Now sniff the tree, you have to get your face in there. The stronger the tree scent the longer it will last.”

And finally, the aesthetics.

“I like mine a little girthy and on the fuller side, but that’s all a matter of personal preference. You want some gaps, so that the heavier ornaments can hang better, but not too many. And the top has to be straight, no one wants a lopsided tree topper.”

“That’s not the only thing you like full and girthy,” he couldn’t help but let slip out.

“Bradley, there are children here!” you admonished while looking around wide eyed, but that didn’t stop you from grazing the front of his jeans every chance you got.

So, when he managed to find what you excitedly deemed to be the “absolute most perfect tree!”, he couldn’t help but preen his face feeling a bit warm from the attention and praise you showered him with.

He’d hauled the tree up to the check out where it was bundled while he paid, and then carried it over his shoulder out to the Bronco. You’d trailed behind him carrying the wreath you’d picked out humming along with the music.

“Is there such a thing as a competence kink? Because this,” you had mused gesturing to him tying the tree down in the back, his hands tingling, “is definitely doing it for me.” He had just grinned and shaken his head at you, his face heating up a bit. However, he couldn’t help but flex a bit more for your benefit as he finished up.

And when you made him pull off the road less than 10 minutes later, to indulge in that new self-discovery with your mouth around his cock, well that was very much for his benefit.

Now you’re with him at his place. You guys had wrangled the perfect tree into the house and had gotten it set up in front of his windows in the living room near the upright piano he had tucked in the corner. He loved the smell that was filling the room and the way you’d lit up once it was in place. If he had his way, you’d be around all the time.

Bradley could hear you singing along to the Christmas album he had picked up that was playing on his Dad’s old record player as you worked on putting together some hot toddies in the kitchen. You had put him on light duty, and he was determined to make it the best-looking thing you’ve ever seen.

He worked going round and round the Christmas tree, the lights all shining merrily. He took his time making sure to wrap and tuck the lights around the branches, the cozy glow filling his chest with warmth.

But the longer he worked the more he was starting to get worried that he was coming down with a bug or something, his face starting to feel slightly feverish. His throat getting thick and uncomfortable.

He’d noticed it earlier at the tree lot, but didn’t want to give it too much thought. The Navy had ruined his Thanksgiving plans with you and he didn’t want to let you down again. He worked to string lights on a few more branches adamant to push through for you.

“Sweetheart,” he reluctantly called out to you, “I think I might be coming down with something. I’m not feeling too hot, and my throat is kinda scratchy.” The guilt was starting to settle in the pit of his stomach, maybe if he rested now he could keep it from getting too bad.

He turns to see you coming out of the kitchen with two steaming mugs in your hand, your eyes going wide.

He turns back to the tree looking to see if he accidentally fucked something up. It was his first time with a real tree, maybe the lights needed to be strung differently.

“Bradley. Oh my god.”

You had just put the finishing touches on the hot toddies and were already walking out of the kitchen when Bradley had called out to you. Those beverages were quickly abandoned on his coffee table as you propelled yourself towards him.

His face was brightly flushed and his eyes were shade of red that made your own itch in sympathy. You reach up to tug at the collar of the flannel he was wearing to get a better look at the skin of his neck and chest. The scars on his neck were standing out in contrast to his reddened skin.

“Sweetheart, what are you doing?” Even his voice was sounding a bit scratchy. You ignore him in favor for undoing the buttons at the cuff and rolling up the sleeve of his shirt, trying to not let yourself get too anxious. “You tryin’ to get me to put these lights up topless like some kind of sexy Santa?”

You shush him as you finally get the sleeve rolled up when your suspicions are confirmed, his thick forearm is absolutely covered in angry looking raised red welts.

“Oh no. Roos, baby. You’re breaking out.” Already pulling him away from the 7-foot issue occupying the living room and heading towards the kitchen, “I think you have pine tree allergy.”

He finally looks away from your face and down to his arm, a deep furrow settling over his features, “Oh fuck.” You get him seated at his oval oak dining table grabbing your phone to figure out what to do next.

“Yeah, ‘Oh fuck’,” you repeat back to him eyes skimming the information on the page you clicked into. You’ve always been the type to take charge in a crisis, this would be no different. You’d make sure he’s taken care of the way he needs to be. The way he deserves to be.

“How’s your breathing feel? Is your throat feeling tight or like it’s closing up?” you ask looking up at him.

His red-rimmed honey eyes seem to shift focus like he’s lost in thought for a brief moment.

“Rooster.”

He shakes his head. “Sorry, baby,” he says a bit bashfully. “I’m used to being the one levelheaded in stressful situations, but you should see the intensity on your face. I think you coulda been a pilot.”

“Bradley, I’m flattered. Truly,” you’ve learned that he isn’t the type to say things he doesn’t mean and you respect the hell out of what he does. “Although I’m sure there are a few more qualifications I’d have to pass than that,” you reply lightly, petting the back of his hand resting on the table. “But I need you stick with me here. I just need to figure out if we need to get you to the ER or not.”

He nods. “It’s a little thick, but not like it’s going to close up. And really scratchy, ‘s all.”

“Ok, that’s good. That’s good,” you repeat again more to yourself than him.

You love this man so much, and he deserves the world. This is the last thing you would have wanted for him and his very first, and last, real tree.

You can still hear the record playing in the background as you try not to gnaw on the inside of your cheek working to put your game plan together.

After firing off a quick text to Jake, you quickly pop upstairs to Bradley’s medicine cupboard, hoping that he has some antihistamines tucked away in there. You breathe a sigh of relief when you see the pink box, grabbing it you tear off a couple squares from the silver lined sheet to bring back to him.

He’s still sitting where you left him at the dining table. He’s slumped down in the chair his mouth pulled down at the corners, and you think it’s probably because he’s not feeling the greatest right now. You hand him the meds and a fetch him a glass of water, watching as the tendons of his throat flex as they work to swallow the pills down. The red welts have finally made an appearance there too, and are an angry contrast to his usually golden skin.

“Let’s get you out of these clothes, hmm?” You bend down to catch his eyes with your and holding out our hands to him. He nods once taking your smaller hands in his as he lets you pull him up.

You help him to unbutton and remove the flannel shirt trying to avoid further contact with the hives on his body, not wanting to cause him anymore discomfort. Once his wide chest and arms are uncovered, you work his jeans down his thick thighs leaving him in his tight black boxer briefs. There’s nothing more than you love than being up close with Rooster’s body, but right now you’re on a mission and can’t be distracted by all the skin before you.

While you’re still feeling concerned for him, you can feel your anxiety starting to settle a bit from where it was at earlier. You’ve got a plan, you’ve already checked off a few things, and you’ll be able to take a breath once Bradley is taken care of.

He’s ruining everything with you. First Thanksgiving and now Christmas.

How the fuck did he not know he was allergic to pine trees? He’s 35, he should known those kinds of things by now. Shouldn’t he?

He is frustrated as fuck laying on top of the king-sized bed in his darkened bedroom, the stinging of the hives on his arms and upper body were driving him crazy. God, his eyes itched and burned. Although, he couldn’t tell if it as from the reaction to the tree or from fighting the sudden urge to cry for the first time in a very long time.

The afternoon was not going as he had envisioned it. He wanted to sing some carols loudly while getting tipsy off hot toddies with you. Dance with you in between hanging ornaments on the tree. Maybe fuck you under the tree if he played his cards right, he wanted to be the one to get your tinsel in a tangle.

All he had wanted was to make you happy. You weren’t spending Christmas with your family, and he didn’t want you to miss out on anything being in California with him instead. He was really excited about the holiday for the first time in what felt like forever, and it had everything to do with you.

“Do you have any oatmeal here?” You had asked him not too long ago, and it was all he could do to point you in the right direction as the guilt was eating away at him. Once you had found it, you had sent him away to go upstairs to get him further away from the tree. His strong, capable, and pretty girlfriend was left to deal with the mess downstairs without him.

He could hear the whir of the blender and wondered what you were up to. Sulking at the fact that all he could do is wait for the antihistamines to kick in, and hope that he’d be feeling better soon so that he could help you take care of things.

“Bradley? Baby, are you awake?” You entered the dimly lit room cautiously, approaching him gingerly on the bed and holding a large bowl with something fluffy and powdery looking in it. He hadn’t heard you come up the stairs.

He loved the sound of your voice. He loved it in the morning when it was thick with sleep, how excited you got when you were talking about something you were passionate about, and he especially loved the breathy whispers and words of encouragement from you in his ear late at night when he was moving so deep within you. What he didn’t love was being the reason you were so anxious, that he was at fault for why your tone was so laced with concerned.

“Yeah,” although he was starting to feel sluggish, “’m still awake.” He felt your cool hands on his face and leaned into your soothing touch, pressing a kiss to your palm.

“I’m going to make you an oatmeal bath,” you informed him gesturing to the bowl in your hand. “From what I’ve been reading online that should help calm down the hives, hopefully stop them from spreading anymore.’

“Okay, Sweetheart,” he sighed. He can hear how pitiful he sounds, but right now his girl is the only thing that is making him feel good, and he will do anything you ask of him.

You set about turning the taps on for the large tub in the bathroom, twisting the handles to get the water to come out at the right temperature. Once you were satisfied, you swirled in the oat powder you had made watching as the water turned cloudy, then headed back into the bedroom to get Bradley.

“Let’s get you in the tub so you can soak for a bit, yeah?” He looks so miserable alone stretched out on the bed. “It’s not too hot, and it should help you feel better,” you help him to sit up placing a kiss to the lines of the scars on his cheek trying to comfort him.

Ever the soldier, he dutifully follows you into the bathroom. Once he is stripped of his briefs and comfortably situated in the milky mixture, his eyes flutter closed as he reclines back, leaning his head against the ledge of the tub. You move kneel on the floor next to him running your fingers through his sun-streaked waves.

Your little pocket of peace is disturbed a few minutes later by the ding of your phone.

“Jake just got here,” you announce filling him in on the next part of your plan, “He’s going to help me with the tree.”

“’posed to be my job,” Bradley sulks making a petulant sound in his throat. You can’t help but let out a gentle tsk while fighting back a small smile at his response.

“I just want you to relax here and let the oatmeal do its thing. I’m going to get things wrapped up downstairs it shouldn’t take too long, and then I’ll come back to check on you.”

“Mmhm, fine,” he sighs as you press a kiss to his forehead.

You let Jake in and he is quick to jump in taking over by unwinding the lights off from the partially lit tree. He’s even quicker to haul the massive thing out of the house and into the back of his truck, as the new owner of the 7-foot Noble Fir. After the tree is deposited, he heads back in and helps you coil the lights back up so they’re not in a tangled mess on the floor making some light small talk because he can tell your mind is elsewhere.

On his way out the door he shoots you a cocky salute, a shit-eating grin already plastered on his face. “You can thank my new Trot PR for how quickly I was able to run back to my place after I got your SOS text to get here as quickly as I did, Darlin’,” he drawls.

You flip him off, but tell him to text you what meals he’d like you to make and bring over later in the week as thanks for his help. And with a quick kiss to his cheek, you shoo him out the door wanting to get back to your boyfriend.

After he leaves, you break out the vacuum and work on getting the needles off the ground before moving on to the laundry. You grab the pile of Bradley’s clothes from the floor in the kitchen where you had left them before stripping down to your underwear, throwing everything in the washer and turning it on to get rid of any potential lingering irritants.

You make you way back upstairs, stopping to slip on one of Bradley’s old UVA t-shirts and grabbing him a loose pair of navy sweatpants, before going in to check on him. He is still there soaking his head tilted back and eyes closed, just as you had left him. Thankfully the hives have seemed to stop their spread leaving his face untouched. His neck, chest, and arms still bearing the brunt of his allergic reaction.

You gently knock on the door to announce your presence, not wanting to startle him. “You ready to come out now, baby?” Before him you had never been a pet name person, but now all you wanted to be a source of comfort in his life. A soft place for him to land.

“Yeah,” he turns his head towards the sound of your voice, “I think I might be getting a bit prune-y, but that felt really good. Thank you, Sweetheart.” He has finally opened his eyes and looking right at you, with a smile small and soft, but it doesn’t quite reach his eyes.

You’re trying not to read into it too much, not wanting to let your anxiety get the best of you. You help him up from bath and use the handheld to first shower him off, grabbing a fluffy towel to help gingerly pat him dry. As he bends to pull on the sweatpants you had brought in you turn to rinse out the remaining oatmeal residue from the tub. He presses a kiss to the back of your head as he passes by you to make his way back to the bedroom.

By the time you’re done he has already climbed into bed, the comforter on your side already pulled back as he reaches out for you to get in with him. The white percale sheets you had helped him pick out were cool and luxuriously soft to the touch, and you feel yourself release the breath it felt like you’d been holding since you entered the living room holding those long forgotten hot toddies.

Bradley is quick to lace your fingers together and tuck his face into the space between your neck and shoulder, his mustache ticking the soft skin of your throat there. For all of his golden retriever energy, he is soaking up your affection and attention like a lap cat as you slowly rub your free hand up and down his broad back.

However, he’s still entirely too quiet. Your lips press tightly together on their own accord as you begin to think that there’s something more on his mind that he’s not sharing with you than just the effects of the hives and double dose of Benadryl.

You’re about to speak up when he beats you to it, “I’m so sorry, Sweetheart. I just wanted you to feel at home and now I’ve ruined Christmas.” You’ve never heard his voice sound so small.

Oh. Oh no.

“Bradley, please look at me.”

You lean back a bit as he removes his face from the spot it was tucked into and study his beautiful yet troubled looking eyes. “Is this why you’ve been so quiet? Please tell me you haven’t been spiraling thinking you’ve ruined anything.” He looks away, and you feel your brows scrunch together.

You cup his cheek in your hand, running your thumb down the cleft of his chin, “I love you so much and we’re going to have such a wonderful Christmas together, a tree is a nonissue here, baby. You matter more to me. I hope you know that.” His gaze finally meets yours and you continue on, “I need you to hear me. You’ve got absolutely nothing to apologize for. Nothing is ruined and nothing that happened today is your fault. Ok?” Nodding your head, needing for him to understand and let go of his misplaced guilt.

You see the exact moment he absorbs and believes everything you’re saying to him, his shoulders releasing the tension that had gathered there. “Ok, I hear you.” You lean into him to place a tender kiss on his lips. “I love you so much,” he breaths against your mouth.

“I love you too,” you say pressing one more lingering kiss to his lips before encouraging him to settle his head back down again. He reaches for your hand, guiding it to his hair, prompting you to comb your fingers through his curls.

“Now that we’ve settled that, how are you feeling? What else can I do to help?”

“You’ve done so much for me,” he murmurs kissing your neck gently. “’M just tired now and want to hold you for a bit. The Benadryl is starting to kick my ass.” He pauses for a moment, “But maybe we can order some pizza, Sweetheart? And put on one of those Christmas movies you like? Y’know the ones where the people live in a town is named something like Tinselville and their dogs fall in love?” He asks his voice sounding a bit boyish and hopeful.

You can’t help but let out a giggle because, really, his description is not too far off. You can feel his smile against the side of your neck as you turn the tv on.

“You can have whatever you like, handsome boy. Pizza and Oscar quality Christmas content, it is.” You grab your phone unlocking it and opening up to the delivery app, when Bradley plucks it from your hand tossing it to the side and placing his in yours instead.

“Order from mine instead, it’s my turn to take care of you,” he states slinging his arm low over your hip.

You click the button on the side to wake his phone up only to see your face smiling back at you on his lockscreen. Nose bright from the cold, surrounded by trees, and wrapped up in a scarf your mom had loaned to you since you hadn’t brought any practical winter-wear home with you.

It’s the picture that Bradley has sent himself the other night at the bar, and you’re flooded with a rush of affection for the man nestled against you. You notice his wallpaper is still the picture of you and him from this Halloween when you’d surprised everyone by dressing up as him, he’s kissing you squarely on the mouth while grabbing a handful of your ass. It was one of your favorites too.

You’d just finished submitting the order, when a text from Jake comes through, and you roll your eyes.

Those 5th Gens didn’t get you, but you’re taken out by a fucking a Christmas Tree. Would hate to see what one of those tree shaped car fresheners would do to you.

You’re not going to let him come for your boyfriend, even in playful roasting, when you just managed to picked his spirits up. Not tonight, Hangman. And you set to typing your response with your one free hand, the other still carding through Bradley’s curls.

Listen up, Lieutenant Turkey Trot. I was planning on surprising you with a bottle of that Texas bourbon you like when I swing by with the food later this week, but now that’s up to you. Do with that what you will... xx

Not bothering to wait for a response you hand Bradley back his phone only to see it light up again. “Lieutenant Turkey Trot,” he snorts, “Damn. Hangman apologized. And he says he wants a lasagna and your chicken and dumpling casserole.”

Southern men are too easy. Nothing is as important to them as food and their mamas. You smile smugly to yourself, making a mental note to go to remember to stop by that speciality liquor store by your place.

The food is delivered not too much later, you and Bradley eat in bed the box sitting between you while making fun of the plot of the movie you had turned on. You can tell the Benadryl is staring to win when Bradley’s running commentary tapers and his breathing begins to even out.

“It’s ok to go to sleep, baby.”

“Just resting my eyes, wanna see if they figure out why the poinsettias aren’t blooming.”

“You should get your rest,” you gently press, “I’ll set record it and you can find out tomorrow.”

“You’re gonna stay the night, right?” He asks sleepily as he concedes and begins to burrow down into his bed.

“Of course. If you want me here, I’ll stay.” Truth be told, you liked his bed better than yours. You’d even went back to the shop where you’d helped Bradley pick out his sheets from and bought the same percale set for your place in an attempt to help you sleep better.

You set an alarm for earlier than you’d like, remembering you have a meeting first thing in the morning. “I might have to leave a bit earlier than usual though,” you mention softly, “Since I’ll need to go to my place before I have to head in to the office.” You hadn’t originally planned on staying over due to your early morning and now you were kicking yourself for not grabbing a few things to keep in your car just in case.

“Yes. Stay,” he murmurs and reaches out to you, wrapping his arm around your midsection and pulling you to his chest. You let your fingers trace lightly down his forearm, feeling the hills and valleys caused by the welts that litter his arm. He lets out a hum of contentment in response, you’re pressed so close to him you can feel the vibrations of the sound from his chest against your back.

You think you’ve finally lost him to sleep when he mumbles already half gone, “Why don’t you keep more things here?” You can feel his warm breath against the back of your neck.

“How much were you thinking? You saying you want to share a drawer with me?” you lightly tease.

“Bring it all,” he sighs, “Want you here.”

The sound of his soft snores filling your ear only a couple minutes later.

You don’t bring up Bradley’s half-asleep musings, you won’t hold him to anything said under the influence of the antihistamines. While the thoughts of moving in and living with Bradley made your heart beat a bit faster, you kept those hopes tucked away just for yourself.

It was now a week after the pine tree debacle, Bradley’s hives were quick to clear up after a couple days and a few oatmeal baths later. Your skin was still reaping the benefits of the oatmeal too after he managed to coax you in with him one evening.

He had texted you earlier in the day asking for you to swing by his place after work. You knew the door would be unlocked for you, and you let yourself in.

“That you, Sweetheart?” He called out from nearby, you can hear the sounds of some crooner singing in the background.

“Yeah, it’s me." You set your purse and work tote down before bending to undo your heels at the door. “Hey, I was thinking on my way over here, I bet lots of places still have artificial trees left in stock that we could get. I feel like we need a Christmas redo.” You get one off and begin working on the other, “I was planning on getting one to liven up my place too, maybe I can find one of those ostentatious pink ones I tried to talk my parents into getting and fulfill a lifelong dream.” You say that last part with a little laugh.

You finally win the battle against the top buckle of your cute shoe finally kicking it off and wiggling your toes out, “Ooh! Maybe we can go to that cute cocktail bar off 17th afterwards? One of my coworkers was talking about their new seasonal drinks today and it seems festive.”

You fish your phone out of your purse and make your way to the living room, “That is if you didn’t have anything planned.”

Your voice trails off at the end because when you round the corner you find Bradley in his living room looking very proud with a self-satisfied smile on his face already standing next to a Christmas tree.

A very large, very fluffy, pink Christmas tree.

You stand there entirely stunned. The juxtaposition of your tall, handsome naval aviator next to this truly over the top frosted tree has your brain working overtime. The entire room is cast in a dreamy glow from many strands of white lights he had already spun around it.

“I still feel bad that about what happened the other weekend, and I wanted to make it up to you. At the bar, I heard you telling Phoenix that you always wanted a pink tree, so I hope this is similar to what you hand in mind.” He seems to be getting a bit nervous now, since all it seems you can do is just blink at him. He reaches around into his back pocket pulling out a small tube, “I even got some of those scent stick things to tuck in if you-”

He doesn’t get to finish since you’ve launch yourself at him.

“Bradley!” He catches you easily with one arm as you begin peppering his face with kisses.

His laugher fills the room and his grin lights up his face at your reaction, “Are you happy, Sweetheart?”

“I’m the happiest! Oh my god! Are you for real?” you exclaim in between kisses. You stop the assault on his face to take it in your hands, “Seriously though, there is nothing to feel bad about. You’re what matters most to me. I mean, yes, I absolutely love this. But you should have what you like too.”

He takes a step back, with you still in his arms and propped up on his hip. He thoughtfully studies the tree in front of you both. “Yep. This is definitely the perfect tree,” he declares proudly, “It’s full and girthy. Has some good gaps, and look at that top. Straight as an arrow. Although we might need to get some more decorations for it, but I got it started.”

You look from him back to the tree puzzled, since you don’t see anything on it aside from the lights. He walks you both closer, and pulls off what looks to be a strand of curling ribbon with a shiny silver object dangling from it from a branch on the tree.

A key.

He sets you down back on your own two feet, holding you close against his body bringing his forehead to yours. “I meant it, Sweetheart. Bring it all. There’s nothing I want more than for you to be here. All the time. With me. You’re the only thing on my list this year, you’re all I want. Will you let me give you more than a drawer?” His honey brown eyes gazing at you hopefully.

You already knew what your response would be even before he pulled that key from off the tree, and the answer must be all over your face because Bradley’s face breaks into a beam as he picks you up and spins you around.

The choice has always been easy with him, it’ll always be a yes.

Happy Holidays, everyone!

Causally hyper-fixating over all things TGM at bradshawburner

You can find the prequel to this story here!

Find out what happens during their second Christmas together here!

You can read more of my stories here!

#bradley bradshaw x reader #bradley bradshaw x you #bradley rooster bradshaw x reader #bradley bradshaw fanfiction #rooster x reader #rooster x female reader #rooster x you #bradley bradshaw x female reader #bradley bradshaw imagine #top gun fanfiction #bradley bradshaw fic #bradley bradshaw #bradley rooster bradshaw #hello december playlist challenge

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martiandmichelle · 6 months ago

Text

Ya comfortable cause this is a kinda long post. . .

Some of you long-time followers may remember that I used to do a fair amount of prostitution. I cut way back on it several years ago after one bad experience and the growing success of Studio M. I did keep a (very) few of my favorite johns that I might see once or twice a year. One is a guy near my age (73) who lives alone on an isolated ranch in Texas. In the 11 years I've known him he's always been a gentleman with a great sense of humor. Unfortunately (or maybe fortunately!) he has minimal control of his average-sized cock and cums quickly though only a couple times a day. In between those few orgasms of his he spends his time with me groping, sucking, and staring at my tits.

Soooo, anyway, it was during my last visit with him this past late winter, and while his was admiring his handiwork with my boobs, that he asked me about other tricks I had going. I try to be as honest as I can with someone who pays so much interest and cash on me, so I told him he was only one of 5 guys and 1 woman that I prostitute for. He wanted to hear more so I told him what little I could - not wanting to give away any secrets of my other clients. He began rolling my nipples between his fingers and masturbating them as they grew, lowering my resistance and increasing my breathing. He said he thought it would be really hot if I prostituted myself more often. The winter/spring "conference" of the southeastern US chapter of my global studio was coming up and he thought I should go and advertise my services. By this point my nipples were squirting milk all over the place and my cunt was gushing so how could I say no?!?

So, I went. He guessed at what I could charge new clients and I thought he was crazy while still begging him not to stop what he was doing to me tits. (I never have charged him more than I did that 1st time with him.) I took his suggestion and got management's wholehearted approval to go and show off and offer my services for what I thought was a ridiculous price. I made a bet with him that, at that exorbitant price, I wouldn't get over 10 clients.

So I staked my space at the "show" and opened up for business. Advertising my all natural T cup tits (that's before I grew to a U cup) and learning the next largest natural bust was an M cup, I thought maybe I had underestimated my traffic. What I did underestimate was my underestimation! After only one hour of opening, the organizers had to move me to their largest empty booth because of so many guests visiting me. My midday, they had moved me to my own room and at 5:00 pm they moved me again to my own ballroom - and even THAT was crowded!! (The photo above was from the conference as I accepted a sealed offer from a member.)

I simply could not believe there was that many men (and women!) who wanted to - and were willing to pay so handsomely - for time with me and my body! There were guys going together to have, threesomes, foursomes, fivesomes, and more "-somes" with me. There was no way I could say anything but "yes!" and "Thank you!" to them all.

If you would like to read more, just message or inbox me, or even just comment on this post. I'm not starting this service until after my mountain trip so my first "working visit" is on October 3rd of this year. 2025 is going to be wonderfully busy!

(But don't fret, I'll still be posting here lots!)

#marti #back view

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stargazing15 · 2 years ago

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Dad's shirt

Jake x wife reader & daughter

Summary: it was Jake's third father's day and your daughter really loves the gift.

A/N: For those who voted for dad Jake, here you go! I didn't give the reader and Jake's daughter a name, I couldn't decide on a good one

Enjoy!

***

"Daddy is going to be home soon, you know what to say to daddy, sweetheart?" You asked you daughter.

"Yes mommy, how long? Not wait!" She still tried to use as less words as possible, a little stubbornness or laziness -you still hadn't figured out which one it was- but most certainly inherent from her father.

"It is I cannot wait, sweetie. I don't know, depends on daddy's boss and if daddy's plane has been nice today. Less than an hour. Okay?" Jake had texted you he was on way right before he left.

"Befo sleep?"

"Before. Of course, he will be here before sleeptime." The moment you said your last words, keys opened the front door.

"DADDY!" And off she was to the hallway.

"Hello little munchkin. You have been good to mommy?"

"The best!" You heard her say proudly.

"Come, come, come." Jake got pulled inside by your much smaller daughter, but with a big and excited smile on her face. Not matter how bad Jake's day might have been, she made sure it was always ending good. Younger Jake never thought he wanted this, but coming home to his loved ones was all he needed to be happy, the medals or mission successes weren't the peak of his happiness anymore.

"Hi baby." Jake gave you a quick peck on the lips.

"Hi sweetest daddy of our wonderful princess."

"Daddy, no looking, I have surprise. And mommy too! Come mommy. No cheating daddy!" Jake had closed his eyes and placed his hand in front of them.

"Look no cheating little munchkin, my eyes are closed. But I can't wait to see your surprise." He encouraged him/her.

"Come mommy." The two of you grabbed the neatly wrapped gift and made your way back to Jake to deliver the gift.

"Okay babe, keep your eyes closed and place your hands in front of you. And you here, stop jumping around for a second, you are going to trip over your own feet."

"No babe, DADDY." You and Jake giggled at her comment while you were laying the gift in his hands.

"Yes yes sweetie, daddy open up your eyes." Jake opened up his eyes and tried his best for the three year old to look as surprised as possible.

"HAPPY DADDY DAY!" She screamed as loud as she possibly could, poor neighbors, and started to jump up and down again. "Open, open!"

"I think you are the one who is most excited, will you help daddy?"

"Yes." Not even a second after Jake's answer she dragged his arm down to her level so she could help. Jake carefully removed the ribbon so your little girl could start destroying the wrapping paper.

Once the paper was removed the excited little one became even more excited, yes that was possible.

"DADDY DADDY LOOK!" Jake got a drawing smacked in his face by a very proud toddler. This made Jake burst out in laughing. The little ball of joy always managed to do something that put a smile on your faces.

"Wow little munchkin, did you make this?"

"YES, by myself!"

"It is really beautiful, I guess this here is mommy and there are you and this is me with my plane?"

"Yes!"

Jake now took the gift in his hand and unfolded it. It was a white t-shirt with the black text 'I'm the coolest dad' on it. In the O's were replaced by emoji's with aviators on. "I'll wear this proudly, who made the choice?"

"Me!" Your daughter said while raising her hand up.

"She has good taste. Clearly from me."

"Dork." You whispered with a smirk.

And then instead of trying it on himself, Jake took the shirt and put it over your daughter's head and lowered it down her little body, until it hit the ground. "It fits you perfectly little munchkin." Loving the the compliment, she kissed her daddy on the cheek and gave him a big hug.

"Mommy, LOOK!"

"Wow sweetie, is that a dress?"

"Noooo, daddy's shirt!" She mocked you, like you just asked her the dumbest question ever. Being miss smarty-pants, was definitely one of the other things she inherited from Jake.

"Come on you two, photoshoot. Let's go outside, the sun is shining. Mom and dad will be there in a second. Can you search for a nice spot?" She immediately ran off to search the sport in the garden.

"Well, beautiful mommy, thank you for the wonderful gift, although I think she might wear it more often than me." Jake said to you while wrapping his arms around your waist and nuzzling his nose in your neck. "I missed you today, I always miss you."

"Missed you too." Jake pulled you in for a kiss and deepened the kiss immediately. God you missed this one-on-one time.

"EEEWWWW, gross!" Your princess stood in the door with her small hands on her hips, being a little toddler-boss. "Photo!"

"Okay, okay, we're coming."

Taglist: @mrsjaderogers @cycbaby @bradleybeachbabe @mavrellover91 @iamdannyday @rhirhikingston @luckyladycreator2 @xoxabs88xox @angelbabyange @jstarr86 @dempy

#jake hangman seresin #hangman #jake seresin #jake seresin fluff #jake seresin imagine #dad jake seresin #jake seresin drabble #jake seresin x reader #jake seresin x you #hangman drabble #dad hangman #hangman imagine #hangman x you #hangman fluff #top gun: maverick #top gun imagine

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literary-illuminati · 15 days ago

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2024 Book Review #55 – The Vanished Birds by Simon Jimenez

Introduction

The Spear Cuts Through Water was one of my favorite reads of last year, and I’ve been meaning to get around to Jimenez’ other work basically since I finished it. Months and months later, my TBR pile and the library’s hold queue cooperated and I finally got around to it. Of the two, you can definitely tell Birds is the debut novel, but despite the roughness I can’t help feeling like it's also the one I prefer. I do have complaints (of which, more below), and the story certainly has issues with structure and allocation of wordcount, but this really is the rare book where I feel no compunctions whatsoever giving five stars.

Knowing myself, this isn’t entirely unrelated to how fucking heartbreaking it is at points.

Synopsis

To brutally over-summarize, the book follows Nia, a starship captain hauling crops on a freight route from a ‘resource world’ to Pelican Station, one of the great centers of human civilization and Allied Space. Due to the peculiarities of faster than light travel, the round trip that is for her and her crew experienced as a span of months is for the people at both endpoints an absence of fifteen years – a convenient way for her to keep making the same mistakes as far as personal connections and relationships go. On the last loop of the route before her contract is completed, she finds herself taking care of a mute, deeply traumatized young boy discovered miraculously unharmed by the locals in what seemed like a fiery wreck. The boy – at first nonverbal, inexplicably a musical savant, deeply traumatized and mysterious in a hundred different ways – finds his way into her heart to the point that even after they return to Pelican and he’s been turned over to the security services, she can’t stop trying to find out what happened to him and making sure he’s alright.

It’s at this point that the two of them come to the attention of Fumiko Nakajima, the Millennium Woman – designer of the five great stations at the heart of Allied Space, and (thanks to the magic of cryo-sleep and FTL time differentials) one of the last survivors of long-dead Earth. She sees in the boy the possibility of something miraculous – truly instant interstellar travel – and so hires Nia and a few reliable agents to take him into Fringe Space, safely out of view of any of her ‘friends and colleagues’ who might take a similar interest in him. For fifteen years. The story then reveals itself to be one of, basically, child-rearing and coming of age – at least until the moment where the child’s miraculous abilities really do reveal themselves, and all at once things get much, much deadlier.

Structure

The book is – not quite incoherent (the thesis is very clear), but certainly unfocused. At first I thought that was rather the point – the first three chapters are each incredibly effective, melancholic short stories in their own rights'; each leapfrogging into the perspective of a character whose actions or legacy shaped the previous, but with dramatically different casts, setting and plots. These are almost certainly the most aesthetically successful and artistically disciplined sections of the book, and as I read them I assumed it would continue in the same vein for the entire book.

It does not – the book settles very firmly into being the story of Nia and the boy who is later named Ahro. The middle of the book is an almost light-hearted coming of age story, spread across the years Ahro spends growing up in the Galactic fringe with his ragtag accidental family. The final act then dramatically shifts tone again, becoming largely about recovering from betrayal and the destruction of your life, and of striving in defiance of all sense and reason to reconnect with someone you love.

There are, then, three very different vibes here, and I can’t say the shifts between them are handled with the most grace in the world. The book absolutely never stops experimenting with style either, shifting voice, perspective, level of detail, and even format (several chapters are relayed as diary entries) basically whenever the mood strikes it. It absolutely feels like an incredibly talented author showing off a bit beyond their limits – you can see the seams, the allocation of effort between the parts is...questionable, and there are a couple vital characters/subplots who just needed another chapter or two of focus – but it’s the sort of messiness that leaves me incredibly endeared.

Love, and its Discontents

Those first three chapters are essentially short stories connected by setting and a character or two – but most of all they’re connected by theme. Each is, one way or another, the story of the protagonist falling in love – the sort of love that defines a life, that cuts you to the core whenever you remember it – and then having that love fail, leaving the lover damaged or lessened in a way that never quite heals.

Things do not stay quite so melancholic, but for a story whose whole climax is centered around the quite literally metaphysical and reality-shaking power of pure love this book has a bracingly tragic sensibility of it. Love is hopelessly one-sided, or turns rancid with resentment for just long enough to make sure it can never be restored again. Romances end in betrayal and murder, bonds both sororial and paternal in half-thoughtless abandonment, soul-deep friendships in vicious arguments and a severing of ties. Love, the book says, is deeply contingent and often more transitory than it seems – and if it isn’t, that can do far more harm than good.

Nia as a protagonist has plenty of baggage about this. She’s introduced as a woman with deep abandonment issues – that is, she keeps abandoning people and then feeling bad about it (her ship is the Debby, after the kid sister who lived and died seeing her for a few days every fifteen years due to the time lag of interstellar shipping). She latches onto protecting and caring for Ahro almost more as an attempt at redemption for herself as anything about the boy himself, it’s only over time she really grows to love him as more than a talisman.

I can’t say it was particularly well-spent time, but the book does something I love at least the idea of. Nia’s crew is introduced in the second chapter with a fair amount of detail and personality, each of them having little idiosyncrasies and distinguishing habits and virtues; one is a best friend she found stranded on a wrecked hulk and nursed back to health. The whole dynamic is that of the grumbling and bickering but affectionate found family crew you’ve seen in a thousand other stories. So when she commits to spend up to fifteen years of her life taking care of Ahro on the galactic fringe in exchange for truly unbelievable amounts of money, she sits down with them, tells them the score, and asks them if they trust her enough to come with her.

And all but one of them say no, and never show up in the story again. Which is possibly the first time I have ever seen that kind of scene not end with re-commitment and affirmations of trust from at least most of the real characters that were asked.

This makes the whole found family situation with Nia, Ahro and (most of) the second crew that do spend years in the outskirts of ‘civilized’ space with them works for me far, far better than these things usually do. Because, unlike functionally every piece of fiction I can think of that’s ever been promoted as being about found families, this one really does sell it as something precious and exceptional, rare and worth fighting to preserve.

It also gets all but three of the people involved killed, of course, and of those three one’s permanently crippled and death would probably have been kinder for the second. The book’s really big on stretching ‘better to have loved and lost than never to have loved at all’ to the absolute breaking point – right up to someone choosing not to die despite an existence of nothing but torture and pain just for the infinitesimal bit of hope and connection of a loved one singing through the prison bars.

The Banality of Evil

The villain of the piece is, without question, the monolithic and monopolistic Umbai Corporation, something between a neocolonialist conglomerate and a sovereign, expansionist empire in the classic sense with a few affectations from its earthborn roots (the specifics of the politics of Allied Space are vague and in any case more impressionistic than anything like a detailed speculative political economy). Which is kind of fascinating, in that it is specifically the Corporation as a corporate body that is the villain – agency and responsibility are spread across whole bodies of Allied nobility and corporate Judiciary officials, armored Yellowjacket thugs and career-minded techs and surgeons. There’s no CEO or President, no Board of Directors who set the agenda and bear ultimate responsibility – there’s no face to it at all, really. I’m fairly sure no agent of the company ever even appears twice. Which is just interesting on its own terms, given Umbai as an entity defines both the setting and the plot to dramatic degrees.

The world of the Vanished Birds is a horrifying dystopia in a hundred different ways, but until the very end of the book this just isn’t really something any of the characters particularly care about. It’s in the incidental details and the little asides in the exposition – that there is a great apparatus of censorship on every Allied world dedicated to controlling and slowing the rate of linguistic drift to ease the flow of time-shifted commerce, that the culture and economy of Umbai ‘Resource Worlds’ are societies deliberately starved of information and culturally engineered to be easily managed and quiescent single-commodity resource exporters. Even in the distant past, Umbai and institutions like it used their control over the Ark Ships escaping earth to filter the species – denying berths to (among a great many other things) anyone of ‘problematic’ politics or who seemed likely to be an economic burden.

It’s a universe where this system seems to spread inevitably and irresistibly, everything valuable bought up and parceled out for the benefit of the system’s functionaries diligent enough to save for occasional vacations, and the nobles and officials in the vaunted heights of far-off stations and City-Planets (the allegorical applicability is left as an exercise for the reader, a bit of restraint I did appreciate).

It is, again, not a system that’s worth analyzing as a speculative political economy or technical exploration of neocolonialism either present or future – but it’s not trying to be, either. And it works very well at seeming like a real, functioning world that the characters are just trying to live in.

The Anthropocene

Going off where most of its wordcount is spent, I’m not sure you could really call Birds climate fiction. But if someone was making that argument, I’m not sure you have too much ground to stand on arguing you shouldn’t either.

Fumiko’s first chapter, read as a stand-alone short story, absolutely is – the story of a love affair between genius savant designing the great orbital habitats which will sustain a lucky slice of humanity in the stars, and a talented but less world-shaping scientist doing what she can to lighten the burden of the remaining four fifths of the species being left behind upon the increasingly uninhabitable earth. This is where the book’s title comes from – the gradual disappearance of the birds Fumiko loved as a child, even from the sanctuary trying so ferociously to preserve them.

The world presented in that chapter feels just barely familiar enough to be unsettling, a scarred and fortified world that’s still on a clear and irreversible decline – which might be either chicken or egg to the fact that the commanding heights of government and industry have given up trying to save it entirely to focus on an escape to the stars.

For the rest of the book, environmental collapse isn’t really a topic that much comes up – though the human shaping of and impact on the environment certainly does. It’s just largely a matter of deliberate engineering.

There is, however, a very easy allegorical reading of the fact that on discovery of a way to travel instantaneously between stars, Umbai ruthlessly exploits and monopolizes it to attain unprecedented degrees of power and wealth as they reshape the entire galactic economy – all of galactic civilization, really – around the new technology. All without the slightest thought or care that this new technology is based on harvesting a specific and finite resource and their brave new world will collapse entirely without it. Omelas-child instead of oil but still – not exactly subtle, but I do appreciate the book restraining itself from directly and explicitly pointing it out.

Fumiko

The ‘millennium woman’ is probably the most interesting single character in the book, and also almost certainly the biggest structural weakness in the whole thing. Which is annoying to me, personally. She simultaneously has some of the best chapters of the book and also ends up feeling like a ball being tossed around as the plot requires.

Her Methuselah existence is only vaguely justified and explained, and it’s entirely unclear just how exceptional she is (beyond the fact she isn’t unique, anyway) – the story never even gestures to the existence of any of her peers beyond vague mentions of the Umbai executive class or Allied nobility. She’s an oligarch-savant with nigh-infinite resources and cadres of loyalists installed in every institution worth owning – until a single mistake is made and the powers that be unite in a perfectly coordinated strike to kill them all and leave her stranded in the torn up ruins of her private research colonies among the corpses of two thousand executed minions.

A character being ruthlessly crushed without warning or chance of contesting it by the powers that be rings more true when the character isn’t one of them, I suppose? As it was, it felt like being dropped into the climax of a story without any of the rising action.

The effect is, I think, at least mostly intentional. The entire chapter is about Fumiko being so distracted with the failures of her memory and a complete preoccupation with her latest project (Ahro) that she cannot even pretend to remember or care about this whole vast infrastructure she has built up for her own advancement and curiosity, or the hundreds of followers who treat her as a living saint (to the point of not even remembering her friend, confidant and second in command until the moment before he’s executed for, in essence, her failing to consider the consequences of breaking a minion’s heart). The fact that there’s a battlecruiser en route to bury everything she’s built in napalm and she just forgot to do anything to prepare is actually very plausible. In which case, I just wish it had been ore dwelt upon and made a point of. Or just – it felt like she really needed another chapter or two from her POV before things go horribly wrong, I suppose?

Her chapters are very well-done and affecting, to be clear. And her mirrored character arc with Nia – both women who get a certain pleasure out of other people caring about and being more invested in them than they are in return, both dealing cosmically poorly with rejection, both forever decorating their life in half-conscious memory of someone they left behind – is both well done and compelling (Nia gets better, Fumiko’s story in an elaborate murder-suicide/terrorist attack).

Too Long; Didn’t Read

Beautiful, emotionally affecting book. Very much a debut work from a talented author – experimenting and showing off a bit more than be supported, some fundamental structural weaknesses – but nothing I found detracted from the experience. Actually one of the quite rare books where sitting down and writing out a review has made me like it more rather than less.

#book review #sff #space opera #the vanished birds #simon jimenez

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furiousgoldfish · 3 months ago

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(personal post, toxic friendship issue)

I'm having a reoccurring problem with a roommate, and I'm trying to write it down just to make sense of it, and see if this is something other people have figured out.

This person is younger than me, and also struggles with abusive relationships, emotional neglect from parents, and having their identity linked with academic success, so I naturally took the role of support, and this person happily took all the help they could get. I do feel I got over-involved in their life, I got invested in helping them get away from the abusive partner (which they did), and offered lots of consolation about the parents issue, and was just around whenever they needed someone, when they were sick, bored, struggling.

Sadly in return this person created more problems for me, like breaking my stuff 'accidentally', then not saying sorry or replacing it, even though I communicated to them that I can't afford new stuff, and that my possessions are all I have and I am bonded to them. They often made my emotional issues worse, showed no consideration or care when I was being hurt, and focused on talking about themselves even when I was in very apparent distress.

However this is not the reoccurring problem; I eventually banned them from touching my things and learned to pull away whenever I'm struggling myself. The problem is that this person will be nice, warm, polite, and I'll find myself making jokes and talking with them naturally, until at one point they want something from me - it's often that they need to unload all of their emotional issues on me, which can last up to 5 hours, and they know I'll comfort them because I physically can't stop myself, if someone in front of me is distressed my every cell is screaming to help them.

And then immediately after they're done doing that, they will turn cold and ignore me for about a week. This happened multiple times and every time I'm kind of baffled. When I have a 5 hour long deep emotional conversation with someone, I feel like we've gotten a little closer, I know stuff about them, I want to hear about how they're doing, and ask about their day, and would want to check in, see if they feel better after talking it out. But instead, they're now so busy they cannot say hi to me anymore, they go and have fun with other people instead, without telling me, without as much as looking at me. I think they start talking to me again only after they again want something.

And this makes me feel used. It's not normal to have that kind of vulnerable conversation with someone, receive comfort, and then just erase them out of your life. I'm realizing as I'm writing this that I'm describing myself in the role of 'comfort friend' where I only exist for someone when they need to be comforted, but this person is so sneaky about it! Because when they ignore me, I try to get distance, and I start to avoid them too, but this triggers me and creates tension in the air, and I can't stand living in tension. I emotionally spiral every time and start thinking of crazy scenarios like running away from here just so I don't have to look at them again. I live here!

So once they start being nice to me again I'm just, so relieved that things seem okay again. So I am nice back, and eventually it comes down again to them getting what they want and ignoring me again.

I thought about trying to communicate this to them, and to let them know how it makes me feel, but every time in the past I've attempted to communicate my feelings, they'd just ignore it, or get angry, act like I'm trying to guilt-trip them, or pretend it didn't happen, so I already have a picture of how they deal with communication they don't like; it's no use. When a person responds to attempt at communication with complete apathy you know they don't care to know this and they won't take it into consideration. And for me it would take so much courage to admit that I'm triggered to being ignored and shut out after offering support, and to be met with apathy and scorn would shut me down completely, I wouldn't be able to process that. My decision to not communicate is self preservation.

This person isn't going to stay here long term, they'll move out in a few months so this will no longer be a problem, but I'm struggling to know how should I possibly deal with this. It's so triggering I couldn't find anything good to do about it, I'm immediately trapped into this circle of having to help, and then feeling horrible and shunned by the cold treatment, especially when I haven't done anything to deserve it.

This person is also, aware that they don't have consideration for others, aware they just want attention, all the time, hates giving attention, will blatantly say no if I ask for anything, and is ready to guilt-trip anyone who asks them for something. They just don't care about it because it plays to their benefit.

What would you do in this situation?

#personal #okay to reblog #roommate issues #asking for ideas or advice #struggling with compulsion to help people #struggling with having to live with apathetic person #who can be selectively nice

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cummin-n-cryin · 2 years ago

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The Camping Trip

Minors/Blank blogs Do Not Interact!

Jade Leech x gn!reader

Tw: Nsfw, dubcon, manipulation, drugging, aphrodisiac, yandere??? (I didn't write this with yandere in mind but I'll just throw it in), I think that's it lemme know if I missed any!

Wordcount: 4,470

Side Note: *drags their body out of a dark cave* Hey fellas it's been awhile huh? Anyway life's been a bit crazy I got sick with a nasty cold, my cats getting her teeth removed because her body is attacking them, ect. Anyway It took me awhile to write this and I hope you all like it! I'm still a bit awkward at writing nsfw but hopefully this turned out okay!

You had joined the Mountain Lovers club a while ago. At first you hated the idea of joining the club. Hearing your friends whisper of how the club leader Jade was cold, cruel, and manipulative, it kind of scared you.

However, after interacting with all the other clubs and their members, you found that none of them really held your interest like the Mountain Lovers Club did. In the end, you decided to say fuck it and just go for it, hoping that it would all go well.

And it did! It didn't take you two that long to become friends. Sharing his love of nature and exploration, you two found that you had much more in common than you originally thought!

While you couldn't say that you loved mushrooms as much as he did, you found his interest in them quite endearing. It was common for him to sit down with you and explain all the different mushrooms he had found after returning from one of his solo mountain treks. He'd answer every little question you had with a bright smile.

It was hard to see Jade in a negative light when he looked so happy with his little fungi. Watching him happily talk about how healthy his mushrooms are or how his mushroom spawn was finally successful after so much failure. To think that you used to think of him as such a horrible person...

If there was one thing that you didn't like about Jade it was how insistent he was on hiking alone. He would always tell you that, "You're not ready yet," or how he, "believes it would be safer if you didn't come along with him." It was very frustrating. Hiking in the mountains was one of the biggest reasons you even joined! Exploring the mountains is pretty much what the whole club was about!

So, why wouldn't he let you go hiking with him?

One day you had enough and cornered the slimy eel. You bombarded him with questions until he finally caved, though it wasn't the answer you expected. "I was trying to find the best route for you," he stated simply. "Since it's your first time I thought it would be nice to find the best route so that you could truly appreciate the beauty of the mountains without having to worry about the rough terrain."

He held his hands together, a small smile tugging at his lips as he continued, "Besides I thought I should make our first hiking trip something truly special. I had only recently been able to acquire a tent and thought that we should try camping as well. But, if you have better things to do then I suppose I'll just go all by myself," he finished with a small frown on his face. His eyes turning away from you, he looked like he was about to cry.

You felt like slapping him. "Of course, I want to go camping with you!" you yelled at him.

Jade smiled at you, "Well then, seeing how enthusiastic you are, take this," he hands you what looks to be a guide for hiking. "Oh, and this as well." He gives you a list of things to bring for the trip. "How about we go tomorrow? My schedule is empty for the next couple of days," you responded with a thumbs up, and soon you both went your separate ways.

You may not have completely thought this through.

Sweat dripped down your forehead and your legs were shaking like a newborn deer. You were beyond tired of walking. Jade was quite far ahead of you and seemed far too distracted within his own mind to notice your miserable state.

With a heavy sigh you decided to sit on a nearby fallen tree. Thankful for the cold water you brought with you, you greedily gulped it down. You couldn't help but wonder how you thought this was a good idea.

Well, you don't completely regret your decision. Jade wasn't lying about how beautiful this place was. Looking around you, you can honestly say you've never seen so much greenery in your life.

Everywhere you looked there was some mysterious plant that was sprouting or growing. Even looking up, the trees formed a canopy above you, the sun's rays glittering through the tree's leaves gave the area an almost mystical feel.

Now that you think about it, how deep into the woods are you? You know that you and Jade had been walking for a long time but, just how long? How far was the school from here?

You suddenly felt an icy breeze across the back of your neck.

Your breath caught in your throat, goosebumps covered your skin as your hair rose. You swear something just breathed on you.

You didn't dare move.

The sound of a snapping stick caught your attention. You whipped your head in the direction of the noise.

"Oh, my apologies for running up ahead. I must have overestimated how much you could handle. My sincerest apologies for my oversight. I promise it won't happen again," he said. You sighed; it was only Jade.

While you would have been mad at his almost cheeky tone, you were still freaked out about what just happened. If that wasn't Jade then what the hell was that?

You're snapped out of your thoughts by Jade's voice, "Perhaps we should set up our camp here?" he asked, already setting his backpack on the ground. "Uh- um- yeah, let's do that," you stuttered, pulling off your backpack as well.

Jade approached you looking concerned, "Oh my, did something happen?" You laugh off his question saying that you were fine. Thankfully, he didn't pry further and instead focused on helping you set up the tents.

Maybe you were overthinking things and it was just a simple cold breeze. Heh, yeah. That's all that it was...

Setting up camp was not as easy as you thought it would be. The strings of the tent occasionally whipped you in the face or escaped your grasp as you tried to hammer them down into the ground. Thankfully Jade was there to help.

The rest of the day was fairly uneventful. Jade went hunting for mushrooms and you decided to wander around the area, never straying too far from the camp. Night soon came so you and Jade decided to have your dinner, eating some of the mushrooms he collected along with a few snacks you two decided to bring on your trip.

You both woke early, the sun just barely peeking through the thick canopy of trees above you as you both walked deeper into the mountain's woods. You were a bit worried about straying too far from camp but Jade reassured you that you both wouldn't be going that far.

The adventure was far more calming than when you both had first started hiking up the mountain. Jade spent less time walking and more time observing his surroundings, sketching or taking pictures of all the interesting little plants he finds and of course documenting all the fungi he finds.

You would occasionally ask him about the things he was drawing but mostly left him to do his own thing. While he did that, you wandered around looking at all the rocks and small ponds that were scattered around the area. You even borrowed Jade's camera to take a few pictures of some beautiful flowers you found. Whether it be a little snail on a leaf or a running stream that reflected the sunlight causing it to cast a rainbow-like effect onto anything nearby, you were there taking a picture of it.

But, looking out into the beautiful forest, you realized that you couldn't really capture all of the scenery that you wanted. If you could somehow get just a bit higher up then you could capture a whole lot more.

Looking around, you caught sight of a nearby boulder. You quickly looked over to Jade, he wasn't paying any attention to you, instead he seemed to be busy with his sketches.

Good.

Smirking to yourself, you firmly held onto his camera as you climbed up the boulder. Looking over to Jade again you see that he was still very much engrossed in his drawing. Now on top of the boulder, you carefully stand up not wanting to slip off and hurt yourself.

Woah! You could see so much from up here!

The view from atop the boulder was beautiful. You could truly see the expanse of the forest. You hold up the camera, stilling your hands, you hit the button with a resounding click. You take a few more pictures. Once satisfied with the pictures you turn to get off the boulder.

You slip.

A loud cracking noise hits your ears as you land feet first on the hard ground. A searing pain shoots up your leg and you scream.

Your scream attracts Jade's attention and he quickly rushes over. He tries to calm you down, telling you to breathe as he carefully helps lift you off the ground. Jade lets you wrap an arm around him as he assists you back to camp. Jade had stayed true to his word, you both really didn't go that far from the camp as you make it back quite quickly.

Jade sets you down in your tent, leaving you there while he goes to get supplies to help you. All you can do is lay on your bed and try your best to not move your injured leg too much. He soon returns and carefully looks at your injury. You hiss in pain as he moves your foot around.

"Thankfully, it appears your ankle is only sprained," he says while still moving your leg around. You want to yell at him to stop moving your leg around so much, instead you bite your lip just wanting him to finish fixing your ankle. Jade sighs, "Perhaps you've been spending too much time with Floyd? Seeing how reckless you've become."

Great Seven, you've never wanted to hit him so badly. Maybe after you both return to NRC you should go to the Mostro Lounge and order smoked eel. Just imagining the look of disgust he'd give you almost makes this worth it.

He carefully wraps your ankle and it's... nice.

Jade treats your injury with a certain tenderness that you didn't really expect him to have. You can't tell if he's being so gentle because he doesn't want to make your injury worse than it already is or if there's something else. You watch him. Trying your best to see if you could figure out if he had some hidden motivation or if he really was just trying to wrap your stupid ankle.

Though, as you observe him you start to feel a bit odd. You quickly become a bit too aware of the way his hands feel on your skin.

His hands were a bit rough, more than likely from his gardening and his mountain treks, but they felt quite nice against your skin. His hands wrapped your ankle in precise and calculated movements as if he's done this thousands of times before. You found the way his hands moved almost mesmerizing; their fluid motion was messing with your head. You started to focus more and more on Jade, seemingly becoming entranced by him.

As quickly as the strange haze overcame you it had left as Jade stood up, dusting off his pants. You reluctantly thank Jade and suggest that it would probably be best if you two made your way back to NRC to get a proper doctor to help you.

"Do you not trust in my abilities, Y/n? Besides, I'd be quite lonely without you here. All alone collecting these mushrooms," Jade trailed off, a small frown on his face.

You rolled your eyes, "I'm sure you did a great job fixing my ankle Jade. It's just that-" you suddenly stopped. Hearing sniffling, you looked up at Jade's face only to see he was crying.

"I apologize Y/n. It's just that I spent so much time trying to make sure that this trip would go well and I know how desperate you were to come hiking with me. But if you wish for me to take you back to NRC than I shall," he said while trying to dry his tears.

You suddenly felt a bit guilty. After so long of bothering Jade to take you hiking with him, you're both finally out here together and while you just wanted a simple hiking trip, Jade went out of his way to make your first time out in the mountains memorable. Who knows what he had to do to let Crowley allow him to camp all the way out here.

Actually, that's a really good question. Does Crowley even know you're out here with him?

Whatever, it's not like you're both going to be out here forever and this might be the only time you can go camping with him. A couple days of not being bothered by Ace, Deuce, Grim, or Crowley is a blessing that rarely appears, so may as well enjoy the trip while it lasts.

With a sigh, you give in, "Fine, I'll stay."

Jade gives a small smile, his tears drying faster than you would have liked, "I assure you, I'll take good care of you while we're here."

He really tried to keep you happy. He'd help you out of your tent so you wouldn't be stuck in there all day. Unfortunately, because of your injury you couldn't exactly leave the camp site but he'd sometimes guide you to different spots that he wanted to show you. Small ponds with the occasional frog and numerous small plants, groups of fungi growing on a decomposing tree and other interesting things. And if he couldn't bring you with him then he'd just bring the item to you. He'd bring small plants, many mushrooms and sometimes small animals that he somehow managed to get his hands on.

Jade would sometimes leave for long periods of time but you didn't mind as whenever he came back he'd talk to you about everything he saw and of course teach you about all the mushrooms he's collected.

You were glad his mushroom hunting was going well but, it does kind of suck that most of what you eat is the mushrooms he's collected. At least you have a few different snacks in your bag but you're sure that by the end of the trip you probably won't be eating mushrooms for at least a month after this.

Things were going quite well until the next day.

Hot chills shook your body as you tried to sleep in your tent. Your skin felt hypersensitive, every little thing that touched you made you very aroused. Even the slightest movement of fabric against your skin made you shiver in need. You didn't know why you suddenly felt so hot and bothered by everything that merely touched you but, something was definitely not right.

"My you look quite distressed," Jade said observing you from the door of your tent.

You didn't respond, instead you tried to hide under your blanket. You could hear him approach your huddled form. Listening as he hummed thoughtfully to himself before speaking, "Can you tell me what symptoms you're having?"

You tried to come up with something, you weren't going to tell him that you just woke up uncontrollably horny for some reason! That's a very awkward conversation that you really didn't want to have with him so, grumbling a bit, you finally settled on, "Everything's hot."

He seemed to think about your answer for a bit, "Do you have anything else? Runny nose, sore throat, headaches, or coughing?" he asked. "No," you replied albeit a bit quickly. You felt him move closer to you. You could feel his gaze boring into you even while hiding under the blanket and it made you very uncomfortable.

He was quiet for what was probably only a couple minutes but it felt like hours as you waited for him to say something. You could hear him mumble to himself but you couldn't make out any of the words.

Suddenly, he grabs your thigh. You gasp as his cold grip sends a shock through your body. You're quickly overcome with a strong feeling of arousal. Panicking, you throw off your blanket to try and get his hand off of you. Thankfully, he pulls away. Jade looks at you surprised before he gives a small smile, "I think I know what ails you and I can help but I need you to tell me that you trust me."

You hate the way he words things so ominously sometimes. It's not that surprising that he probably knows something you don't, besides you're not originally from this world so maybe the way you're feeling is something that just happens sometimes? But his request is a bit too specific. You can't help but feel like he's planning something.

As you think, you realize it's becoming more and more difficult to think at all. You feel like your mind is slowly turning into mush. You're thoughts keep turning to the way Jade's hand felt on your thigh, much to your dismay.

Seeing your apprehension, Jade pulls out a glass vial from his pocket. "Here's your cure," he states simply.

Your eyes widen and you try to grab it but he quickly pulls away, "No, no, you need to say you trust me first." You make a noise of frustration before lunging at him.

You both fall to the floor. You're on top of Jade as you desperately reach out for the vial. He wraps an arm around you and pulls you close to him. You stop breathing for a moment, completely forgetting about the vial as you become hyperaware of the way Jade's body feels against yours. You can feel his chest rub against yours everytime he breathes, his strong arm wrapped around your lower back to hold you in place and his hand holding onto your side.

You feel breathless as he leans up towards you. His breath caresses your ear as he whispers, "Say it and it's yours," his voice sends shivers through you.

You stare up at the vial being held above your head before daring to look down at Jade.

His eyes glow in the darkness of the tent and no matter how hard you try you can't look away. "Say it," he whispers, his voice lulling you deeper and deeper into the fog of lust slowly clouding your mind.

You can't stop yourself when you breathlessly whisper, "I trust you."

Your heart beats faster as a wicked smile filled with sharp teeth crosses his face as he gazes up at you, his eyes glowing with barely suppressed hunger.

You think that you may have just made a grave mistake.

Quickly, he flips you onto your back and you go boneless, only having the strength to look up at him now looming above you.

Jade sits up and straddles you, his legs on either side of you, as he places the glass vial off to the side, just out of your reach. He then moves one of his hands to the zipper of his jacket, slowly unzipping it before pulling it off of him. You admire the way his broad shoulders roll as he removes his jacket.

He moves his hands towards you, using one of his hands to hold him up, he uses the other to slowly trace a line from the bottom of your jaw all the way down to your chest and further towards your stomach before finally grabbing the hem of your shirt. He pulls it up and you try to help him get it off of you. You feel so hot, you want him to just rip your clothes off already.

You reach up and grab his face catching him by surprise as you pull him down and kiss him. He laughs into the kiss, "Quite needy, aren't you?" You only moan in response and he takes the opportunity to quickly slip his tongue into your mouth, deepening the kiss. His hands caress your body as his tongue dances with yours.

You can't think at all anymore, your mind nothing more than a pile of mush. All you can think of is Jade and the way he's touching you. How his rough cold hands soothe your burning skin and how his soft lips feel against yours. It's almost overwhelming. You're so focused on the kiss and the way he's touching you that when he finally pulls back, a string of saliva connecting your lips, you don't even realize you're completely naked.

Jade changes position, opting to sit in between your legs. You feel his hands glide down your naked body. A moan slips out and you quickly bite your hand to try and muffle it. Jade smiles, "No one but me is going to hear you my dearest, I've made sure it, so please," he looks down at you, his eyes dark with lust, "be as loud as you want."

He grasps your hips lifting you up slightly as he leans forward. You can feel the hard bulge in his pants pressing against your core. He grinds into you and you almost pass out right then and there. He's so close, so close to giving you what you want.

"Jade please-" you're interrupted by another roll of his hips against you.

"Hm? Do you need something?" he asks teasingly, a sly smile on his face. You groan in frustration. If he's not going to give you what you want then you'll just take it for yourself.

You quickly sit up and reach out, grabbing his pants. You try to get them off of him, not wanting to wait any longer. But your lust leaves you weak, your hands are shaky and with little effort Jade pushes your hands away from him. He sighs, "You're so impatient but if this is what you want, I'll strive to live up to your expectations."

He undoes his pants for you and pushes you back so you're laying down again. He leans down and kisses you, shoving his tongue into your throat as if he's trying to devour you. At the same time, you can feel something hard nudging against your entrance. Before you realize what it is, he quickly thrusts himself into you.

Your nails dig into his skin and you let out a choked moan as you feel all the wind get knocked out of you. Jade pulls away from the kiss, breathing heavily as you squeeze around him. "So impatient," he mumbles against your neck. You moan and writhe against Jade, tears stream down your face as he waits for you to get used to his size.

He places kisses on your neck, occasionally nibbling the skin with his shark-like teeth as he very slowly thrusts into you. You can't help but think that if he really wanted to, he could probably kill you. It's a morbid thought but thinking about it sends a shiver down your spine.

His speed increases as you get more adjusted to his girth. His thrusts becoming harsher and his grip on you grows tighter, almost painfully so. He pulls his face away from you, looking down at you.

"I'm sure somewhere in your mind you must be wondering why you've become like this, yes?" You don't respond to his question. The only thing you can think about right now is the way his cock feels pounding inside you and how when he angles himself a certain way it makes you see stars.

But soon he slows down, his thrusting stopping altogether. You try to make him move again, pulling him towards you and whining in desperation but he easily holds you down, seemingly unbothered.

"Well," he continues, "You might have figured it out by now but the mushrooms I've been feeding you have aphrodisiac like effects. I'll be honest, I didn't believe mushrooms could effect someone in such a way. Originally, I was going to try them out on myself. But you just wanted to go on a mountain trek with me so, so badly and it made me think that perhaps, you would be the perfect test subject and well," he grabs your tear-stained face forcing you to look at him, "looking at you now... You certainly are perfect."

"Though," he suddenly continues, letting go of your face, "I hadn't intended to give you such a large dosage. I must have overestimated how much your body would be able to handle. I apologize for not keeping my promise." He feigns a sad expression.

"Sh- Shut up," you barely mumble out.

Jade's eyes go wide in surprise for a moment before he laughs, "Oh, so you can speak? I see..."

He reaches over and grabs the vial, "Well, considering that I've gotten what I've wanted, it's only fair that I give you what you want."

He pops open the glass vial, grabbing your face, he opens your mouth but as he goes to pour it, the vial slips out of his hand and breaks, the liquid spilling out onto the floor next to you. A small, "Oops," escapes Jade's lips as he looks at the now spilled vial.

"Oh, well I suppose we'll just have to cure you the natural way, hm?" Jade says with a smile.

You let out a long, frustrated groan.

Jade lightly takes your ear between his teeth before moving down to plant light kisses along your shoulder and neck as he roughly slams himself into you. His hands harshly grab onto your thighs and hip. His nails digging into your flesh as he slowly loses himself to pleasure.

"Ah, don't be like that. Besides," he sharply thrusts into you making you gasp, "You seem to be enjoying this." His thrusts increase in speed, his hips snapping into you, driving his cock even deeper inside you.

He leans down towards you, breathe heavy as he whispers into your ear, "And, if I had to make an educated guess, I think that truthfully this is what you really want."

It soon becomes too much for you and you can feel yourself tighten around his cock before cumming. Your eyes roll into the back of your head as the intensity of your orgasm leaves you breathless.

He slightly slows down but he doesn't stop. With what little strength you have, you try pushing him away as the stimulation becomes too much for you but he grabs your hands and places a kiss on your palm.

You can hear the cruel smile on his lips as he whispers, "I'm far from done with you."

#yandere twst x reader #yandere twst #yandere twisted wonderland #jade leech x reader #jade leech #tw yandere #tw dubcon #tw dark content

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starleska · 2 years ago

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I hope you had a lovely trip! Hopefully this doesnt seem too demanding, but do you have any jack horner headcanons you're willing to share? Romantic, perhaps even yandere/possessive? Or just general headcanons? If not thats perfectly okay!!!

d'aww thank you sweet anon, i had a great time!! although i am very sleepy now 😴 i'm not even gonna lie to you, i whiled away the train journeys by gazing out of the window and thinking up little meet-cute scenarios with Jack 😂😂

oh HELL yes!! don't you worry, that's not demanding in the slightest - i'd be happy to oblige 😉 honestly this has steered off more into backstory/total fanfic territory, but i hope you like it anyway. i’ve written this with a bit of a feminine-leading-nickname bias, but this is for all readers!! i’m nb myself 🥰 feel free to substitute certain names for others 🔥

'Big' Jack Horner x Reader romantic/yandere headcanons:

historically, Jack hasn’t had much interest in romantic dalliances. coming from an upper-class family with a great deal of wealth means he received plenty of offers even when he was young, from hopeful families wanting to marry into his lucrative business. however, Jack always found the suitors from these families dull and predictable; they knew exactly what to say and how to say it, and their compliance infuriated Jack to no end.

as a result, throughout his teens and early twenties Jack mostly abstained from romantic connections. it was at this time that he began to increase in size: he shot up like a weed and bulked out enormously, which greatly increased interest from a variety of parties. this came alongside his succession to the head of his pie business, and the flourishing of his criminal empire. although Jack was propositioned left and right, he only engaged in the occasional date and/or lay, and considered them to be stress relief.

as his obsession with collecting magical artefacts and increasing his power grew, Jack’s dim view of romance as nothing more than fairy tale junk - something he has come to abhor - solidifies into a type of confident nihilism. he believes that he is simply built different, and that truly powerful figures don’t concern themselves with such trivial matters. that is, of course, until he meets you.

at first, Jack is horrified. first, he believes he has fallen ill; why is his heart beating so fast around you? why does he feel hot and sweaty and clammy all at once when you pop into his thoughts? this quickly descends into a type of paranoia: he is convinced that you must be some type of magical artisan, one who has cast a spell to drive him mad. we know Jack isn’t the patient type, so he confronts you, dragging you into his office and threatening you with the business end of the Huntsman’s Axe from the Little Red Riding Hood fairy tale.

rather than the reasonable reaction of terror and attempting to escape, you stammer and blush, almost hyperventilating at the proximity. he’s so much larger than you, and it takes everything you have not to melt into his arms. you manage to tell him that you find him impossibly charming, and just being around him makes you feel lighter. this takes a moment for Jack to process. he questions you repeatedly: “You find me attractive?” “Y-yes.” “You’d like to become an item? With me?” “Yes, sir.”

once he is certain that there is no trickery afoot, Jack is ecstatic with you. the full extent of his smarm and arrogance pour over in waves. Jack is not a man prone to embarrassment , and he makes no secret of your relationship whilst going about the daily business of running his criminal organisation and pie factory. he freely plays with your hair, rubs your shoulders and gives you kisses in full view of all his workers, much to your humiliation, but the way Jack looks at you with approval after every teasing show of affection makes it all worth it. Jack’s staff even give you a nickname: The Baker’s Wife.

in no time at all, Jack becomes your fiercest protector. someone calls a rude comment to you in the street? they’re found the next day, strung up by their thumbs outside the village walls. a debt collector comes to harass you and your family? how interesting: they choke to death on a pie, overstuffed with plums. you soon find that members of The Baker’s Dozen are assigned to keep you safe: following you around his mansion and accompanying you outside without so much as a word. you try to question Jack about these events, knowing in your heart he is responsible, but the way he tells you, “No one hurts my princess,” makes your heart squeeze. indeed, day-to-day Jack treats you like royalty: only the finest garments, cuisine, and entertainment for the love of his life.

however, in private, Jack lets his sadistic side shine. he is delighted by how easy you are to fluster: how a filthy whisper or a well-placed touch can make you tremble and squeak. he enjoys your size difference, playing with you as if you were a doll, and he chuckles darkly whenever you squirm. there’s nothing he loves more than pinning you against a wall with a blade, enacting the predator/prey dynamic he knows you enjoy so much. he leans in close and breathes into your ear, telling you how small and helpless you are, and how easy it would be to rip you apart. he relishes in making you beg to be touched, how much you crave his silver tongue and those awful, atrocity-stained hands. Jack tells you that you are his, forever, until the day you die: and that is something you love more than life itself.

hope this is what you were looking for, anon 😉

#*dabs at forehead with a handkerchief* good lord is it warm in here #big jack horner #jack horner #big jack horner x reader #puss in boots: the last wish #puss in boots: the last wish spoilers #suggestive #naughty tag #starleskasks #starleskawrites

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ghostofskywalker · 11 months ago

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Hi hun, I was wondering could you write 🥺

Bucky Barnes w/ fem reader with the quote

“You love me?” || “I always have”

If it’s taken I can choose another 💜

hi missy!! i will absolutely write that for you, it's so cute <;3

words: 766

summary: when you wake up after a mission, confessions are made.

Bedside Visitor

bucky barnes masterlist

The feeling of waking up in the medical wing of the Avengers Compound was not something you cherished, but it did happen more than you would have liked it to. This time however, was not because of a trip down the stairs or a bad cold, but an injury sustained in the field. There was nothing you could do about it now, but you’d prefer not to relive the memory of getting shot in the stomach again.

Once your eyes had adjusted to harsh light of this room, you noticed that you weren’t alone, and you were in no way surprised about who was sitting on one of the uncomfortable chairs across from the foot of your bed.

“Bucky,” you breathed in a voice no louder than a whisper, just glad to see that he was okay. You weren’t surprised that your best friend would be here, but you certainly hoped that he had taken care of himself before camping out here to watch over your sleeping body.

You didn’t want to wake him, but unfortunately you were not successful in that endeavor. Seconds later he was at your bedside, looking into your eyes with an expression of worry you had never seen before. “How are you feeling?”

“I’m fine,” you said, not wanting to worry him any more than he clearly was.

“I watched you pass out,” he said, clearly not calmed down by your brushing off of the subject. “And there’s a hole in your abdomen.”

“Okay, so maybe I’m not feeling super great right now,” his eyebrows raised as you spoke. “But I made it out, we’re back in the compound, everything is going to be fine, I promise.”

“Y/N-”

“Bucky-”

“From where I’m standing, this is very much not fine,” he said seriously. “When I heard the gunshot, when you fell, I felt like my whole life flashed before my eyes.”

“Wow,” you said. “Didn’t know I had such an effect on you, Bucko.”

You could he was starting to get annoyed, but you weren’t completely sure why. Yes, you knew that you cared for you, you cared for him too. But this job wasn’t exactly all meetings and presentations, and you were not the first member of the team to land themselves in a situation that required medical care because of something that had happened out on a mission.

“Can we please be serious for a moment?” he asked, and you nodded, not wanting to annoy him too much. “How are you feeling?”

“Not too bad, considering what has happened to me in the last twenty four hours,” you said. “But that’s probably because of some kind of medication they have me on.”

“Yeah, the doctors put something in the IV,” he said, nodding. “They told me that with some time and physical therapy you’ll make a full recovery, but I still can’t help being worried. I’ve never liked it when the people I love are in pain, and this is no exception.”

Whatever you were originally going to say in response completely vacated your brain, and you were left to process the insane admittance that Bucky probably hadn’t even realized he had made. “You love me?”

He stopped, as if just now putting the pieces together. You watched as his face changed, his brain clearly trying to figure out something to say in response before he let out a soft sigh and spoke. “I always have. But I was never sure how you felt about me, so I kept it to myself. I’d rather be your friend than lose you over something as stupid as this.”

“Bucky,” you said, reaching out in search of his hand. As if he knew what you wanted, he extended it in your direction. “First of all, you could never lose me, and especially not over something as stupid as this. And second of all, I love you too.”

He stopped, an expression of surprise crossing his face, then a smile. “Really?”

You nodded. “Really. And I’d really like to kiss you, but I can’t really move my body right now.”

He laughed before leaning down to place a soft kiss on your lips, and as much as you would have liked to have your first kiss not severely injured, it was perfect in a way you could never truly put words to.

But of course, there would be many chances for re-dos, and you never wanted to stop kissing him. And from the way he poured all his emotions into this kiss, you had an inkling that he probably felt the same way.

- the end -

i no longer have a taglist! if you're interested in being notified when i post, you can follow my library blog @ghostofskywalker-library and turn on notifications!

#winterficlets23 #bucky barnes #bucky barnes x reader #bucky barnes x you #bucky barnes x gender neutral reader #bucky barnes fanfiction #marvel x reader

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userparamore · 3 months ago

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I get that you don’t like Taylor but can you not see paramores growth as band because of the eras tour they seem so happy to be on that stage every night be grateful for that

first of all i don't really understand why you're coming for me over post that isn't even mine. second of all i'm allowed to be a fan of a band and be critical of them at the same time, and i've expressed my disappointment over this since the tour was announced. i'm not gonna beat a dead horse and bring up why i'm critical of this tour again in this answer, but the act of them being on this tour really says a lot about them for me in a negative way, and i think it's hypocritical of them after preaching about sustainability and equal rights for all.

paramore is also not some small indie band no one has heard of. they've been doing this for 20 years, they've sold out big venues, played madison square garden multiple times, they played their biggest show ever on the this is why aus&nz tour with 26,283 tickets sold in sydney. multiple of their biggest songs on spotify is close to a billion streams and they have 21 million monthly listeners. all this growth they've done, they've done on their own- sure it's nice that more people discover them, but they didn't need this tour to be successful. they already were.

also for me personally, this tour leaves a bad taste in my mouth. i come from a country where if i'm lucky they tour once every album cycle. i've been lucky to see them 2 times and the last time was in 2017. they played a festival so i didn't get to see a full set. they've been to my country four times total and 1 concert wasn't a festival. the eras tour didn't have a show in my country, and i wasn't about to fight swifties for tickets that are extremely expensive. in the end my friend ended up having a spare ticket to one of the vienna shows bc the person they were originally gonna go with ended up not being able to go, and i was asked if i wanted to go. me and this friend first became friends bc we both liked paramore, and they've never been able to see them live. travelling to vienna to have that experience together, i would sit through 3h of taylor swift for. i spent close to 2000 dollars on the whole trip including the ticket, for it to end up being cancelled. very happy we didn't die, but it still sucked to have spent all that money and the not be able to go. especially since this would've been my friend's first paramore live experience.

i'm happy they're having fun playing their greatest hits for 3 months. i'm happy for my mutuals who's been able to go and have had a good time. the money they earn will probably go to their new label, and hopefully we won't have to wait 5 years for new music. but don't tell me to be grateful.

i try my best to make this community a welcoming space. i try my best to contribute with gifs and edits, and post news when there are news. i've hosted countdown events, i've hosted/made zines, i've hosted gif challenges. i want to do all these things bc it's fun to be part of this community and i love the friends i've made here. but i can still do all those things, and not have to kiss paramore's ass. i can still express myself and speak on the things i don't agree with bc it's my blog. we've had "debates" in my inbox before, people have expressed their opinions on paramore before, and it's always respectful which i appreciate. we as a community can disagree on things and still be a community.

#i hope for the next album paramore will tour more #there still hasn't been an asian tour #they have fans outside the us who support them and want to go to their shows #just give us a chance #and i wish i didn't feel like less of a fan for not being born in the us #and not being able to participate in all the opportunities the us fans have #ask #anon

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lucy90712 · 11 months ago

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heyy, can u make one about reader meeting gavi's family for the first time and they being kind of rude to her (worrying about her being an attention seeker), but then he talks to them and in the end it's just fluff? <3

WC: 2.9k It's finally the day I've been worried about for the last 6 months. Today I'm finally going to meet my boyfriend Pablo's parents. We have been together for 6 nearly 7 months now which have been the best months of my life, Pablo is the nicest guy I've ever met and the best boyfriend somehow he just gets me which I think is how we get along so well. Although we've been together for a little while now I haven't met Pablo's parents as they still live back in Sevilla and he doesn't get to go back there often. There has been times that his parents have come to Barcelona but things just haven't worked out in terms of me meeting them but today that changes. Pablo has a few free days and so do I so he suggested we go on a road trip back to his hometown to visit his parents and I just couldn't say no.

I have been nervous for this day since Pablo and I started dating but now that's it's been put off for so long I'm even more nervous than I was before. The reason I'm so nervous is because I'm not stupid I know how many girls are interested in Pablo and a lot of them for the wrong reasons and I'm petrified that his parents are going to think I'm one of those girls. I truly love Pablo and I see myself being with him for the rest of my life and I just want that to come across when I meet his parents. My biggest problem is I'm quite shy which means I get quite awkward when meeting new people and I don't want my awkwardness to make his parents think I'm not serious about my relationship with him.

I stayed over at Pablo's place last night so we could get up early and start the drive whenever we were ready. All night he slept peacefully holding onto my waist while I laid awake thinking about all the ways having dinner with Pablo's parents tonight could go wrong which has only made me more nervous than I was before. Just as I got myself into another spiral Pablo's alarm went off and I felt him start to stir besides me until he was awake enough to turn off the alarm. As soon as the alarm was turned off Pablo grabbed my waist and turned me to face him before pressing gentle kisses all over my face which ended with a passionate kiss on my lips. Once he was finished giving me my morning kisses he properly opened his eyes and looked at me which made his smile drop slightly. I have been trying to hide my nerves from Pablo as I know he's excited to see his parents and I don't want to ruin that with my anxiety.

"What's on your mind amor?" He asked pulling me closer if that was even possible

"I'm just a bit nervous about meeting your parents that's all don't worry about me" I said holding back the full truth

"You don't need to be nervous amor I know they will love you because I do plus how can anyone not love you" he said

"Thank you Pablo that makes me feel a bit better" I said

"I get why you're nervous I was nervous meeting or parents but if I can survive so can you because you have much more going for you in terms of impressing parents" he laughed

"I'm no successful footballer though Pabs" I joked

"No but you are in university getting a degree in an area I don't understand and not to mention you have a scholarship for being so smart my mum will love that" he said sincerely

I so desperately want to believe Pablo but I just have a bad feeling about tonight which is so stupid as I'm sure it will all be fine but I can't shake that awful feeling.

From the minute Pablo and I got out of bed we just didn't stop between getting ready and packing I had no time to think even for a second until we got in the car and even then I only had a minute when I was sat on my own before Pablo got in the car and we started the long drive. I was in charge of music for the first stint of the drive and I took that very seriously so while talking to Pablo I was curating the perfect playlist which I think is one of my skills although it's not useful in many situations. For the first few hours of the drive Pablo kept me talking and laughing so I wasn't thinking about tonight and then we stopped and I started driving which meant I had other things to concentrate on which was good for me.

It took us a long time but eventually we made it to Pablo's home town and to the hotel we are staying at this weekend. Pablo's parents offered to let us stay in his old room but he declined as he didn't want to overwhelm me with meeting his parents and staying with them all at once which I really appreciated. Once we checked in both of us got changed and freshened up as we'd been in the car for a while and I didn't want to look gross when meeting his parents for the first time. When I was ready I stood by the door to the room waiting for Pablo to get his shoes on completely in my own world until I felt Pablo take hold of both of my hands which made me realise that I was picking at the skin on my fingers which I do when I’m nervous. Pablo didn't say anything he simply just kissed my hands and led me out of the room and back to the car to do the short drive to his parents place.

When we arrived I held onto Pablo's hand tightly as he rang the doorbell but as soon as the door was opened he let go of my hand and hugged both of his parents. He then introduced me to them both and I hugged them too but something felt off but I put that down to this being the first time we've met. They welcomed us in and we all sat down together to get to know each other before we have dinner. For a few minutes they were mostly talking to Pablo which helped me settle my nerves a little but then I quickly became the subject of conversation.

"So y/n Pablo tells us that you are studying sport science at university" Pablo's mum said

"Yes I am I have always been interested in the topic so when I was offered a scholarship to the best university in the city I had to take it" I said

"Well that's pretty impressive it must be hard work though" she said

"It is but I love it so it makes it all worth it" I said

"I imagine you don't have time for much else like work" his dad added

"I don't have much free time no but with my scholarship I'm able to use the money from my student loan to keep me alive plus I share an apartment with a few friends so that helps with costs" I explained

"How much time do you have to spend with Pablo?" His mum interrogated

"I spend as much of my free time with him as possible sometimes he lets me study at his place so we can spend some time together and I always make time for home games so I can watch him play" I answered

The interrogation didn't stop there. They kept asking me questions about money and Pablo's success. The way they were asking made it seem like they were just interested in getting to know me but I'm not stupid I could easily tell they were trying to find out if I was using their son and were just waiting for me to slip up so they could tell him to break up with me. This is exactly what I was worried about happening because I just know that if they tell Pablo I'm no good he will break things off as he said that's what happened with his last girlfriend although she was definitely after his money. The worst part of it all is that Pablo doesn't see what they're doing he's just sat next to me smiling while I get interrogated like I've committed a crime.

Luckily for me it soon became time for dinner and I was able to excuse myself for a minute to go to the bathroom. On my way to the bathroom I heard Pablo's parents talking in the kitchen and to start with I told myself I shouldn't listen but I couldn't help myself I had to stand in the entrance to the bathroom for a minute. As soon as I did I wish I didn't as all I heard them talking about was how they thought I was clearly using Pablo for money to help me get through uni which just isn't true I'm more than ok on my own and I've never taken any money from him. Next they said that I must like the fame and attention because I always go to the games but little do they know I always buy my tickets and sit with all the other fans because I don't want anyone to know that I'm Pablo's girlfriend. The fact that they thought so little of me and were happy to talk about me behind my back really upset me as I tried my hardest to answer their questions honestly and settle their worries but clearly they had an idea of what I'd be like and they can't get past that.

Once I went into the bathroom it all hit me like a ton of bricks. Pablo's parents hate me which means he's going to break up with me and I don't think I could deal with that. Pablo is always there for me supporting me when I'm feeling overwhelmed and encouraging me when things don't go how I expect and I just don't know how I'd ever live without that support from him. I tried my best to hold back the tears that were brimming in my eyes but I just couldn't the thought of losing Pablo because his parents got the wrong impression was just too much. Once I started crying I just couldn't stop as all the emotions from the past week made their way to the surface.

Seeing as I had tears and mascara streaming down my face I knew I couldn't stay plus I didn't want to face Pablo's parents again knowing what they think of me. I tried wiping the mascara off my face as I left the bathroom to go and find Pablo to ask if he would go back to the hotel. I didn't expect him to be in the kitchen just across the hallway so I didn't have as much time to get myself together a I thought I would as he looked over at me and instantly came rushing over.

"Amor whats wrong?" He asked

"Nothing I- just- can we please go back to the hotel" I stuttered

"What's happened I can’t help if you don't tell me" he said

"I just don't feel well I'm sorry" I lied

"Don't lie amor please just tell me what happened then we can go if you want" he said

"Fine I heard your parents talking as I went into the bathroom and they were saying that I'm only with you for money and fame but I promise that's not true I really do love you a lot please don't break up with me" I rambled

"What did they say?" He questioned

"They said I'm only with you to get money to help me through uni and that I'm just interested in your fame" I repeated

He didn't say anything else he simply just pressed a kiss to my head before walking straight out to his parents who were sat waiting at the dining table. That only made me more anxious because if I made a bad impression before making their son yell at them certainly isn't going to do me any favours. I wanted to stop Pablo before it was too late but for some reason I just couldn't move my feet they were stuck in place and I was just a passenger in the whole situation. As it turns out my bad feeling that I couldn't shake wasn't just me being anxious I was right it think that everything would go wrong as so far it's gone as bad as I imagined it would if not worse.

To start with I was so panicked that I couldn't hear anything Pablo was saying to his parents but I managed to calm myself down enough to be able to make out what he was saying. It was easy to tell that he was really mad which made me feel so awful because this is all my fault. He wasn't yelling at least not quite but he was definitely stern in telling his parents what he thought. He was telling them that they shouldn't have let the actions of his previous girlfriends affect their perception of me and that they were wrong about me as I'm completely different to all the girls he's been with before. It was so nice to hear him stick up for me as my last boyfriend would let anyone would say anything about me and not care so it felt good to know he was willing to stand in my corner even against his parents.

Eventually their conversation came to and end and Pablo came back over to give me a super tight hug which is exactly what I needed after the last few hours of stress. He asked me if I was willing to stay for a bit longer and talk with his parents again and I just couldn't say no as I really do want to have a good relationship with them. That being said I was really nervous as we went and sat back in the living room but Pablo squeezed my hand to reassure me that everything would be ok.

"First of all we both want to apologise to you y/n we shouldn't have judged you before we had even met you and interrogating you like we did was wrong too" his mum apologised

"We want to get to know you properly and we know tonight is probably the wrong time for that but we don't want you to think that we aren't willing to do this over again and forget about everything that's happened so far" his dad added

"Thank you I want to apologise too I didn't mean for tonight to turn out like this I just wanted to show you that I really love your son and I'm not here to take advantage of him in any way" I said

"We know that and after seeing how upset you were and how Pablo stood up for you we realised that your relationship is clearly very genuine" his dad said

"And you are a lovely girl who we would love to have join the family so we hope we can hope start over again another day" his mum said

"I'd be more than happy to do that" I said

A few more things were said before Pablo and I left as everyone wanted to start fresh again another day. I felt a bit bad still as Pablo had been so excited about tonight and seeing his parents but I ruined it and now we are leaving early. Really I shouldn't think like that but I can't help but feel a bit guilty for ruining dinner as I could've just said nothing until we got back to the hotel but I can't change that now.

When we got back to the hotel Pablo flopped straight onto the bed and opened his arms for me which after the day we've had I just couldn't resist. He held me tightly and stroked my back which really helped calm the last of my anxiety which was still built up in my body. Being back in his arms after a long stressful day is just what I needed as he's the only one that always knows how I'm feeling and how to help me.

"I'm sorry for the way tonight turned about but thank you for giving my parents a second chance they really do mean well and I'm promise that next time they really will love you" he said breaking the silence

"It's ok I get it I understand why they are so protective over you I just want to show them that I really love you because I do I don't care about your fame or money I care about you" I said

"Believe me amor I know that and my parents will see it too as long as it's ok with you I was thinking we could all meet for lunch tomorrow and start over" he said

"Thats ok with me I get to have a second go at a first impression" I joked

"Well practice makes perfect" he laughed

#gavi imagine #gavi imagines #pablo gavi imagine #gavi x reader #gavi #football imagine #pablo gavi imagines

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