#a truly evil man who should not be involved in football at all anymore

[timoswerner]

faw can fuck off. craig fucking bellamy

[vintagegeekculture]

Who are the “Venoms Mob?”

Well, first things first: if you go to China and talk about the 5 Venoms, or the Venoms Mob, they’ll have absolutely no idea who you’re talking about there, because that’s a fandom-term among US Kung Fu cult movie fans.

In Hong Kong, the Venoms are known as director Chang Cheh’s Weapons Expert Troupe, a group of five lifelong friends, martial artists, bodybuilders, exotic weapons experts, and trained acrobats who did at least a dozen movies for manly man Kung Fu director Chang Cheh in the 1970s and 1980s. They were the real deal: they usually choreographed their own fight scenes, which often involved flips and crazy stunts due to their acrobat training, high-wire acts, and unusual and exotic weaponry not typically seen even in martial arts movies. It’s like every single one of them drank the Captain America potion. Their films tended to end in heroic sacrifices, and the Venoms, for all their athleticism and daring, tended to be identifiable people on the bottom end of the societal ladder: homeless drifters, refugees, itinerant hobos, traveling performers, or restaurant workers.

The Venoms were stars in the US, particularly among the black community who love Chinese martial arts movies, not just because of their truly breathtaking skill and choreography, but because they are how most people feel they are, secretly, deep down: rams among sheep. They are the poor, downtrodden, or average person who decides “not to take it anymore” after untold indignities. This is also why the Venoms are especially important to the black community. In fact, if you want to know how much the Venoms mean to their fans, just go up to nearly any Black Dad over 45+ and ask about the “5 Venoms.” 

Chang Cheh, Director of the Venoms

The best way to describe the director and writer of the Venoms films, Chang Cheh is that he is basically Mac from It’s Always Sunny in Philadelphia if he decided to make Gladiator and loved Sergio Leone and Kurasawa.

The director and writer of the Venoms movies, and maybe the most significant name in the history of Kung Fu cinema apart from Bruce Lee, Chang Cheh was towering enough that Quentin Tarantino dedicated Kill Bill Part 2 to Chang Cheh in the closing credits. It would not be inaccurate to say he invented the Kung Fu movie as we know it, with its training montages, mentor-student relationships, all cut with themes of vengeance, noble self-sacrifice, and rebellion of poor and ordinary people against unjust authority.

Chang Cheh’s life story is fascinating. His father was a warlord during the Republican Era between the World Wars, which must have made for an interesting school career day. He started as a film critic and became a screenwriter, then from being a screenwriter, became a director. I wonder if that is the reason that Chang Cheh was so fascinated by themes of masculinity and male bonding, as the arty, openly gay movie critic son of a central Asian warlord had a nearly impossible standard of masculinity to live up to.

The two Western movies that are, thematically, the closest to Chang Cheh are Gladiator and Saving Private Ryan, and if you like both of those movies, you’ll probably like him. His heroes are often James Dean-like angry young men, poor and at the outskirts of society. His movies tend to end in heroic self-sacrifice for a noble cause, and tend to have themes of vengeance, arty blood red slaughter, and a distrust of authority and government of any kind. He loves bloodshed and thinks violence is beautiful; an image that comes up often is someone in an all white outfit that gets covered in blood, an arty view of violence similar to his two biggest influences, Sergio Leone and Kurosawa. Like the Shawshank Redemption, Chang Cheh movies are essentially ensemble pieces about the friendships and close comradely bonds of brotherhood between men. Very few women of any kind have extensive speaking parts in his movies.

Another movie that also summarizes Chang Cheh would be 300. Remember that Sarah Silverman bit where she said that “300 is the answer to the question, how gay is this movie on a scale of 1 to 10?” Not just because it is about an entirely male cast, or about finding fulfillment in noble self-sacrifice and heroism Alamo-style against desperate odds, but also because it’s about glorifying the male body, with tons of abs and pecs. I suppose I should mention here that Chang Cheh’s movies are profoundly homoerotic, and discussion of their homoeroticism is the major way film academics talk about these movies. How many scenes in Cheh’s movies are about dudes hanging out with their shirts off, flexing their muscles? Or about “brothers” who clasp each other on the shoulder while looking longingly into each other’s eyes in a shot-reverse shot? The only meaningful relationship in his movies are male ones. I dislike passing on cheap gossip, but by all accounts it’s actually an open secret in the Hong Kong film industry that Chang Cheh was homosexual and lived with other men. 

Yi Kuang -Screenwriter of the Venoms

The screenwriter of nearly all the Venoms movies, much like Chang Cheh, Yi Kuang had an interesting life. He was a Communist Party officer who went to Inner Mongolia, where his primary job was writing death sentences for landlords. Once idealistic, he left disillusioned with the Chinese Communist Party, and a remained a die-hard anticommunist. Evil bureaucrats tend to show up in his stories often for that reason, and a common theme of his scripts is the anger of ordinary people against distant, unapproachable authorities. There’s no understanding Venoms films without their screenwriter. Chang Cheh started as a screenwriter and wrote his movies, but Yi Kuang was his most frequent partner.

Interestingly, Yi Kuang got famous long after for writing a series of supernatural and horror novels called the Mr. Wisely books, where a traditional Chinese medicine expert fights for sites of power charged with Feng Shui. It’s interesting to see his turn to the supernatural, sorcery, and ghosts as an overreaction to his distaste for Marxist materialism. Of all the Venoms films, the one that shows his influence the strongest was the one the Venoms fight an evil human sacrifice devil cult, Masked Avengers. 

The Hero – Kuo Chui

A guy with a big smile and a body carved out of marble, Kuo Chui started as a circus acrobat before becoming a stuntman and then a leading actor. He was the Venom with the strongest and most natural screen presence, the one that was the most “movie star.” In fact, he was almost always the hero and central character of Venoms movies, usually playing the most levelheaded and strategic minded of the group.

Kuo Chui deserves some credit also for being the one Venom to actually direct a movie himself, Ninja in the Deadly Trap. This sounds like a heck of a leap, but in Hong Kong, nearly all choreographers also direct their fight scenes. It’s no surprise that a common career path in Hong Kong cinema is to go from choreographer to director (see also Chang Cheh’s ex-choreographers, Tang Chia and 36 Chambers director Liu Chia Liang)

 The Bad Guy – Lu Feng

Every single movie, Lu Feng was the heel, the bad guy. I mean, heck, in Shaolin Rescuers, he even played the evil apprentice of the supreme supervillain of the martial arts, Pai Mei! But no matter what, Lu Feng was just so cool that you couldn’t help but root for him just a little bit. He was a character type common in pro wrestling: the arrogant “cool heel,” like Rick Flair and the Horsemen. 

The Venoms tended to be workaday regular poor guys, but Lu Feng usually played a rich guy who oozed arrogance and menace, rather like the evil rich football player heel in college movies. 

 The Funny Guy – Chiang Sheng

A guy who usually played the funny young hero or a wisecracking comedy sidekick prone to wiseassery and pratfalls, Chiang Peng was the Venom who most benefited from the rise of Jackie Chan, and his introduction of silent film era inspired physical comedy into the otherwise stale Kung Fu film. Like Robin Williams, Chiang Shiang was someone who made everyone else laugh, but because he had a lot of darkness inside him, which ended up killing him. Chiang Sheng is the only Venom to not be with us, he drank himself to death after his divorce in 1991. Because of this, there can never really be a full Venoms reunion.

One of the most amazing things about Hong Kong cinema in the 70s is that the actors tended to have scraggly teeth that aren’t perfect and that seemed to be Chang Shieng’s defining trait. To be clear, I am not in any way mocking him for having bad teeth. In fact, I think it is rather winsome and endearing, like a teenager with braces.

 The Tough Guy – Lo Meng

Known as the “Shaolin Hercules,” the person I’d compare Lo Meng to is Mr. Worf. Ultra-strong, humorless, intimidating, dead serious and never smiling, he was by far the most muscular and powerful of the Venoms, with tons of machismo and swagger, “big dick energy” as the kids say today. The camera tends to linger on his oiled up biceps and chest in extreme close-up…but was also, usually, the first to die in nearly all of these films. Much like how Worf was the toughest guy ever, but usually got beat up a lot so the writers could show that the situation was serious. In fact, Lo Meng, still in great shape, was in Ip Man 4, where, not one to break with a tradition, he was the first guy to get his ass beat in the film, even in a movie made in the Year of Our Lord 2020.

Lo Meng tends to be the “backup main hero” and was even the main character in films like 2 Champions of Shaolin. He had the most impressive “solo” film career apart from the other Venoms. Like Geri Halliwell, he left the Venoms to do his own thing, which is why the defining trait of the later Venom films is that he wasn’t there. 

Lo Meng wasn’t Taiwanese like the other Venoms, and was a native of Hong Kong. In fact, he got his start in the film industry not as a stuntman or muscleman, but as an accountant for the Shaw Brothers studios, and he lifted weights and did Praying Mantis Kung Fu as a hobby. That’s…that’s hilarious. Reminds me of that fake Simpsons movie, Undercover Nerd with Renier Wolfcastle:

 The Wild Card – Chun Shieng

Would YOU trust this man? I wouldn’t. He betrayed the Toad!

That’s Chun Shieng for you, the wild card Venom who could “go either way” and so wasn’t an entirely trustworthy ally.

Allow me to correct a misconception I’ve seen in a lot of places: Chun is sometimes known as “the one Korean Venom.” He isn’t Korean but Chinese, but he was trained in Korea and is a Tae Kwon Do expert, unlike the other Venoms, who studied Chinese Kung Fu and Peking Opera. And it certainly shows: he always fights with a kick-heavy Tae Kwon Do style that does not look much like any Kung Fu at all.

[dashfire2-blog]

Should the Chicago Bears sign Kareem Hunt?

Running back Kareem Hunt is arguably the most talented free agent currently on the market. He’s only 23-years old, he was the 2017 rushing champ, and he has averaged 110 yards from scrimmage in his 27 game career.

With with the Kansas City Chiefs in 2017, Hunt’s offensive coordinator was current Chicago Bears head coach Matt Nagy, and Hunt’s skill set was a perfect match for their (his) scheme and he was selected to the Pro Bowl. He was having an even better year in 2018 with K.C., and that’s where the “football” part of Hunt’s story ends.

Hunt was placed on the commissioner’s exempt list on November 30, 2018, following a video surfacing of him shoving and kicking a woman almost a year ago (February, 2017). The Chiefs released him shortly thereafter for lying about the incident when they were made aware of it.

Another assault accusation surfaced after the video was made public pertaining to an incident in January of 2017, and a third incident called a “minor altercation,” came up from June of 2017.

Many Bears’ fans have expressed an interest in Chicago signing Hunt for the 2019 season after Nagy and general manager Ryan Pace were asked about Hunt at their end of the season press conference. Neither shot down the possibility, so it naturally got fans thinking.

We ran a poll on Twitter to gauge the temperature of our fans.

Since our Facebook audience is much different than our Twitter audience (just trust me on this one), I wanted to run the poll over there too.

The results were surprisingly similar.

Since a lot of you guys that are regular readers of WCG don’t do the social media thing, we wanted to pose the same question here too.

Poll

Should the Bears sign Kareem Hunt?

69%

Yes

(833 votes)

30%

No

(368 votes)

1201 votes total Vote Now

Signing a player that has struck a woman is a non-starter for many people, but judging by the chatter on social media and sports talk radio, many fans are willing to give Hunt a second chance.

Nagy talked about his belief in giving a player a second chance at the presser, but he also said the team hasn’t had any official discussions about signing Hunt.

Bears Chairman George McCaskey made the media rounds earlier today, and the Kareem Hunt topic again came up. Much like Nagy and Pace, McCaskey didn’t shut the door on the possibility of the Bears signing Hunt once he’s removed from the exempt list, and when asked if the Bears would pursue him he said, “We’re not there yet.”

He also confirmed to the Chicago Tribune that there have been no internal discussions about adding Hunt. “Ryan (Pace) hasn’t said anything to me about Kareem Hunt. And Matt (Nagy) hasn’t said anything to me about Kareem Hunt.”

Hunt started to attend alcohol and anger management counseling in December, and he addressed his issues and apologized in an ESPN interview.

The league office will likely suspend him once he’s off the exempt list, but he’ll need to first prove to them his troubles are in the past.

More McCaskey from the Tribune:

“I think the important thing, as Matt pointed out,” McCaskey said, “is that he addresses his personal situation before worrying about football. I think that’s a demonstration of the kind of guy Matt is. He called him to have a non-football conversation because they had a player-coach relationship. I think that says a lot about Matt. He’s not just interested in these guys as football players. I think that’s one of the reasons the players respond to him so well.”

Nagy knows Hunt very well after coaching him for a year, and his recommendation will no doubt carry a lot of weight.

I gave my thoughts on Hunt signing in Chicago on my T Formation Podcast, but I’ll share the abridged version here.

If it was my call to make, if I were the Chicago Bears’ Chairman, I’m not signing Kareem Hunt. That’s just my personal feelings on the subject. I’m talking a pass on a man that strikes a woman.

However, if the Bears do add him a a free agent, it wont stop me from cheering for my favorite team. I’ve always looked at professional sports as a job. It’s a high paying job, but it’s a job nonetheless. Unless there’s a reason Hunt can’t work (i.e. he’s in jail) then I see no reason why a team can’t hire him. I’d just rather it not be my favorite team, but I have a suspicion it will be.

I asked a few of my colleagues to give me their take on the Bears signing Hunt and I’ll share their responses here.

Erik Christopher Duerrwaechter

This truly is a signing which represents opposite sides of the spectrum.

On one hand, this signing would put the Chicago Bears into a strong position at winning the Super Bowl; Kareem is precisely the type of back Matt Nagy is looking for in his offense. What’s more important, is Matt Nagy has already voiced his support for Hunt on not one, but two different occasions. In his philosophy, his mind, he (likely) believes Hunt deserves a second chance. Ryan Pace seems to have placed his full trust with Nagy, as he too didn’t rule out the possibility of signing Hunt. Mitchell Trubisky, for what it’s worth, has a close relationship with Hunt as well.

On the other hand, this is a public relations disaster that could ruin the Bears before the start of the season. The outrage will be fierce and relentless. The media, in all likelihood, would treat the Bears like the evil empire. Hunt’s actions are completely unacceptable, strictly from my own opinion. Never mind the fact he was caught unleashing violence on his girlfriend/ex/friend/whatever; he straight up lied about his involvement and investigation to the Kansas City Chiefs’ organization. He’s highly likely to be suspended at the start of the season, it’ll take an unprecedented miracle for him to escape the matter unscathed. It doesn’t matter if the charges were dropped, he’ll receive a firm hand from the NFL for the culmination of events.

As it stands, I do not support the idea of signing Kareem Hunt, from both a business and personal perspective. I will concede, though, I am human. I have no right to judge any person based on their life and their actions. There is not a single ounce of divine blood or nobility running in my veins. If Kareem is serious about earning the privilege of signing with the Chicago Bears, then let the man earn that right for himself. He’s been attending anger management classes, he’s been seeking help from numerous people. And, unlike a certain Kicker who resides in Chicago, he’s not playing the victim nor making a media tour about himself.

It’s a good possibility that a team will sign Hunt despite his baggage, and I see the Bears as a major player in that sweepstakes. I definitely do not like this idea whatsoever. However, I must place my emotions to the side, and think about everyone else’s perspective. If the entire franchise gets behind him, if Hunt proves that he can (somehow) be trusted again, and if he balls out; I will support him just like anyone else who plays for the Chicago Bears. This signing would by far be the biggest risk Ryan Pace has ever taken in his career, and this is an even bigger risk for Matt Nagy and his career. All I can and will do, is sit back, and watch what happens.

Robert Zeglinski

Robert, who is also the Bears beat writer for the Rock River Times, give us thoughts on the subject there in his article titled’ Kareem Hunt Is A Perfect Football Fit. The Bears Still Shouldn’t Acquire Him.

Josh Sunderbruch

I have a hard time with the idea the team of Walter Payton might also become the team of Kareem Hunt. I don’t want to see the legacies of those two mingled. I don’t want to get into it more than that, except to say that I think Robert’s exploration of the issue is thoughtful and thorough.

WhiskeyRanger

I think everyone knows my stance on it by now, but I’ll offer up the Cliffs Notes. Basically, Kareem Hunt isn’t Zeke Elliot or Saquon Barkley. He’s just a back that fits that system well, similarly to how Jordan Howard fit the Fox/Gase/Loggains system well. He’s well rounded, meaning he’s pretty good at about everything, but not GREAT at anything. Backs like that can be found on day 2 or 3 of the draft (Hunt was drafted in the 3rd round himself). So why bring in Hunt, and the baggage that comes with him, when you can find someone who can do the same things in this offense in the 3rd or 4th round?

Obviously the draft is something of a gamble, but Pace has a pretty good track record in the middle rounds. That’s why I never got the push to bring him in. Kareem Hunt wasn’t some kind of steal in the 3rd. That’s just where guys like him go. Let Ryan Pace and Matt Nagy continue to build through the draft, find their own guy, benefit from the rookie contract, and avoid the controversy that this team doesn’t need or want.

Robert Schmitz

Hunt fits the offense to a T, but he’s not a “star” RB so much as he’s a “really good system RB.” It’s frankly why I think there won’t be too much of a market for him. He obviously doesn’t fit in a smash scheme and he’s not fast enough for a pure speed scheme so he’s only going to succeed in a West Coast Offense. He’s a walking PR nightmare that would make our team the villain in the eyes of the press. I, personally, don’t want that and would rather find an equivalent back in the draft and get all 4 years of cheap production. It only bolsters that argument that our current draft picks are right in the strike zone for quality running backs.

Ken Mitchell

There are a lot of really, really good backs that we can draft that come without the baggage Hunt has.

Hunt may be a great player, but the running back position is one where there are many options out there.

I’m going to take a hard pass on Hunt.

Sam Householder

I’d rather not sign Kareem Hunt. I know myself well enough not to make any proclamation that I wouldn’t root for the team anymore, but I’d be very upset. There’s similar, if not better talent available if the team is able to scout it properly. I get the whole second chances thing and his previous relationship with Nagy but it’s just not worth it to me. I think that Ryan Pace and George McCaskey should’ve learned from the Ray McDonald signing. It only takes one slip up to be wearing egg on their faces. I’d like to see more proof that Hunt’s rehabilitated himself than just completing some courses and saying he’s moved on or bettered himself.

Sitting out games and talking isn’t enough. Talk about maturity or ‘mistakes’ all you want, but the fact is that plenty of players go out and get drunk or party or whatever and don’t end up assaulting people. There’s serious issues there that go beyond just ‘one night, one mistake.’ Pace and Nagy should know that the player they see in the facility during the day might not be the same person that’s out at the club or in the hotel at 4 a.m.

This locker room has been built on guys that are obsessed, right? Is Hunt really obsessed? Can you really imagine hearing that Trubisky or Cohen or Mack were at a hotel in the middle of the night, drunk and arguing with someone? It seems improbable, given what we know and what we’ve seen. We can’t say the same for Hunt.

Our staffers that chimed in are unanimous in not wanting the Bears to sign Kareem Hunt, but now it’s your turn. Be sure to vote in the poll, and also leave your thoughts in the comment section.

Just keep in mind our community guidelines when commenting. You guys can disagree with each other all you want, just don’t go about it like an asshole.

Source: https://www.windycitygridiron.com/2019/1/24/18193955/chicago-bears-fans-sign-kareem-hunt-kansas-city-chiefs-matt-nagy-jordan-howard-ryan-pace-mccaskey

[kentremendousblog]

There are many reasons to root against the Patriots in the Super Bowl. There are also many reasons to root for them. Which team you root for really depends on which team you prefer. I am describing sports fandom! This is fun.

Bill Plaschke of the Los Angeles Times has written an article about the Super Bowl teams, in which he has listed twenty (!) reasons to root against the Patriots. 

Old habits die hard:

It’s a coach wearing a hoodie against one who dresses in Navy SEAL mottos. The Super Bowl pitting the New England Patriots against the Atlanta Falcons features competing auras as clear as the rumple in Bill Belichick’s sweatshirt or the curl of Tom Brady’s upper lip.

1. You made two references to Belichick’s hoodie (which, FWIW, he doesn’t really wear anymore) in the first two sentences.

2. “Competing auras?”

3. “The curl of Tom Brady’s upper lip” is not a thing that I think of as “clear,” in terms of like “famous” or “legendary” or “anything.”

4. “One who dresses in Navy SEAL mottos?” Like...sewn into his clothes, or something?

5. What?

According to Public Policy Polling, the Patriots are the most disliked team in pro football for a second consecutive season. By comparison, the relatively blah Falcons are beloved. 

The “relatively blah” Falcons are “beloved.” You wrote that sentence, saw nothing wrong with it, agreed with its internal logic, and never looked back.

Even with this week’s revelations about the Falcons’ past concerns over their players’ use of pain medication, 

First, you made the sentence wonderfully passive (”...their players’ use of...”) instead of what it should’ve been, which is active, because they were concerned that their team doctors were actively giving the players too much pain medication. Second: you can’t just drop that in and hope we don’t notice that it utterly undermines the premise of your article. Or can you?!?! (No, you can’t.)

this truly feels like a Super Bowl of not just David vs. Goliath, but that old favorite, Good vs. Evil, and here are 20 reasons why:

Gonna go out on a limb and say “20″ is an overreach. But let’s see what you got.

1) The Patriots are convicted scoundrels, from Spygate to Deflategate, the most untrustworthy sports franchise in America since the 1919 Black Sox. Remember, Brady was suspended for the first four games this season for his alleged involvement in the deflation of footballs. The Falcons are too trusting. They panicked during Monday’s media night when offensive coordinator Kyle Shanahan briefly lost a backpack that contained the team’s game plan. Seriously, who still carries their game plan in a backpack?

I’m not going to re-litigate SpyGate or DeflateGate here. But I do take issue with the idea that the Falcons are “better” than the Patriots because their coach lost his backpack during Super Bowl week. That doesn’t seem like the opposite of a scandal. It seems utterly irrelevant.

You also conveniently ignored that recent time the Falcons pumped noise into their stadium, illegally, and were fined $350,000 and a draft pick. As well as the aforementioned (by you) revelation that they were doping their players like racehorses. But a coach lost a backpack, so they’re...nice?

2) The Patriots are led by the Trump Trinity: owner Bob Kraft, Coach Bill Belichick and quarterback Brady are all confirmed devotees of President Trump.

No argument here. Sucks. Hate it.

The Falcons use an official hashtag of #RiseUp, which coincidentally was also the hashtag for the worldwide protests to Trump’s recent controversial executive order on immigration. This is why thousands of tweets filled with scathing Trump criticisms contained a Falcons logo.

Not sure they chose “Rise Up” to fight Trump, but I’m giving you this one. This should be the entire article. Stop here. Don’t go for twenty...I beg you...

3) Upon arriving at the glitzy media night, Brady said, “For us, now, it’s just trying to ignore all this.” Upon his arrival at the same event, Falcons quarterback Matt Ryan said, “To get here and see this deal tonight, it’s pretty cool.” 

4) Asked about Trump’s immigration edict, Brady said, “What’s going on in the world? I haven’t paid much attention.” Asked a similar question, the Falcons’ Mohamed Sanu said, “I hope we can pray as a country for the world to be united.”

...Kind of feels like (3) is neutral and (4) is a subset of (2), but I’m feeling generous, so I’ll let you have these as well.

5) Asked to sign a soccer ball, Belichick refused “because it’s not a football.” Asked to speak into a giant turkey leg, Falcons center Alex Mack agreed but only if he could later have a bite.

Yeah, see, you’re reaching, a bit. “Bill Belichick doesn’t like soccer balls” and “Alex Mack likes meat” doesn’t seem like “evil” vs. “good,” to me.

6) During a joint interview with the teams’ owners, the Patriots’ Kraft was asked to name the most famous person in his cellphone. The Falcons’ Arthur Blank interrupted and said, “Trump.”

Again, we’re kind of back at (2), here, man. 

7) The Patriots’ success began with “The Tuck Rule.” The Falcons’ success began with “The Dirty Bird.”

A team of scientists from the Institute for the Discovery of Something has examined this statement, and determined that it is exactly nothing. 

8) Brady announced that his 9-year-old son Jack has a certain cool NFL running back on his fantasy team. That running back is the Falcons’ Devonta Freeman.

The team of scientists from the Institute for the Discovery of Something just read this and committed suicide, because it is so thoroughly nothing that they realized their entire careers have been meaningless.

9) Off the field, the Patriots often wear ski caps with fuzzy balls on top that make them look like 12-year-olds. The Falcons wear dark caps with “The Hood” imprinted in red, which is short for the “Brotherhood” theme preached by Coach Dan Quinn. 

You’re only at the ninth reason (out of 20) that the Patriots are evil and the Falcons are good and you are Mr. Incredible-style reaching for “preferred head wear.” Sure you don’t want to rethink the premise?

10) LeGarrette Blount, New England’s star running back, has quit his way to the Super Bowl. When he was unhappy in Pittsburgh in 2014, he walked off the field before the end of a game and was kicked off the team, only to be signed by the Patriots three days later. The Falcons’ two running backs, Freeman and Tevin Coleman, selflessly share carries and catches and even touchdown celebrations, with Quinn using video of one of their end-zone hugs for inspiration.

Blount has had his ups and downs, temperament-wise. But why do Freeman and Coleman get points here for sharing carries? They don’t call the plays. And Blount shares carries with Lewis and White. What are we even doing here? (Answer, for me: procrastinating from real work.)

11) Asked if he knew any Lady Gaga songs, Belichick responded “Next.”Asked the same question, Freeman said excitedly, “Lady Gaga? Of course, that’s Lady Gaga!”

Not caring about Lady Gaga = evil. Knowing about Lady Gaga = good.

12) Less than 24 hours before kickoff in the 2012 Super Bowl against the New York Giants, the Patriots infamously cut Tiquan Underwood, a wide receiver so devoted he had the team logo cut into his hair. The Falcons aren’t cutting people, they’re adding them, with owner Blank flying about 150 employees to the Super Bowl game with rooms and tickets at a cost of more than $1 million.

The Patriots aren’t bringing anyone. The Patriots are luring orphans to the game with fake tickets just to laugh in their faces when they are turned away. The Patriots cut a guy five years ago. The Falcons have never cut anyone. The Falcons have a roster of 4,000 players on the payroll because they care. No one from the Falcons has ever made an illegal three-point turn. The Patriots yell at dogs for no reason. The Falcons founded Doctors Without Borders.

13) The Patriots’ most famous cheerleaders are the dudes who dress up in Revolutionary War attire and shoot muskets in the end zones. They once fired off a round during a kickoff that so startled the opposing team that a complaint was filed to the league office and the guns were silenced except for after scores. The offended team was the Falcons. The Falcons’ most famous cheerleader is Samuel L. Jackson, who performs in a pregame “Rise Up” video in which he sounds like he just discovered snakes on a plane.

Yes, you correctly remembered that Samuel L. Jackson was in “Snakes on a Plane.” Well done. Then you used it as a way to suggest that the Falcons are “good” instead of “evil” (represented here by having Revolutionary War cosplayers standing in the endzone). Not well done. Badly done.

14) The Patriots are known for the giant touchdown spike of Rob Gronkowski, who will miss this Super Bowl because of a back injury. The Falcons generally allow their offensive linemen to deliver the touchdown spikes in honor of their shared effort. The linemen actually brag about who can bounce the ball highest. Ryan Schraeder, a tackle, even posted photos of one of his spikes on the walls of the team practice facility.

The implication here is that the Patriots are evil because their tight end is injured. That is reason 14 that the Patriots are evil. Gronkowski, who spikes footballs after touchdowns, is hurt. Reason 14.

15) The Patriots brag about following “The Patriot Way.”The Falcons brag that their 74-year-old owner boogies with the team after games, with Blank admitting, “I love to dance, I look like a chicken.”

I think, now that we are at #15, here, that this might have been better if you had just listed “reasons to love the Falcons” or something. The point-counterpoint thing is where you got into trouble. Thank God we’re done, though, because oh wait we’re not close to being done.

16) One of Brady’s nicknames, “Tom Terrific,” was lifted from former New York Mets pitcher Tom Seaver. Ryan’s nickname, “Matty Ice,” is the completely original idea of some of his high school buddies from Penn Charter School in Philadelphia.

I want you to go back to the beginning of this piece, that you have written, and remind yourself of your own premise. The premise is: The Patriots are Evil and the Falcons are Good. Right? Okay. Now come back and look at reason #16 that you cite as evidence of that premise. Tom Brady’s nickname was also used for Tom Seaver. Matt Ryan’s nickname was given to him from some of his friends. Does that fit your premise?

And by the way, “Matty Ice” is pretty clearly a ripoff of “Natty Ice,” a slang name for Natural Light Beer, and a catch-all term for any awful, high-alcohol, poor-tasting beverage. I’ll just go ahead and show you what the Urban Dictionary has to say about it:

So, piece of good evidence #16 that you cite, to make your claim that the Patriots are evil and the Falcons are good, is that the Falcons’ QB’s nickname is a reference to something that is cheap, dangerous, of low quality, and vomit-inducing.

17) Two of the last big postseason defeats suffered by Brady came at the arms of quarterbacks Peyton and Eli Manning. Ryan said this week that two of his closest mentors, through texting and phone calls, are Peyton and Eli Manning.

“And therefore, your honor, and members of the jury, I have proven beyond the shadow of a doubt that the Patriots are evil and the Falcons are good. The prosecution rests.”

“Sir, it’s four in the morning and you are very drunk. Please leave this Cheesecake Factory.”

18) The Patriots’ locker room is a stark, somber testament to one of their mantras, “Do Your Job.” When the Falcons redesigned their locker room last summer, they brought in a ping-pong table. It became so popular, there are now three.

It’s been a while since I did one of these, and I forget: what’s dumber: the journalist for writing a piece like this or me for spending the time to comment on it? I honestly don’t remember. It’s me, right? I’m dumber?

19) The Patriots defeated the Rams by 16 points. The Falcons defeated the Rams by 28 points and, if this seems like a completely irrelevant comparison, it’s been 22 years since I could make fun of our football team in a Super Bowl story, so bear with me.

Literally don’t even know what this means. Completely lost. It’s definitely not a “reason” why the Pats are evil and the Falcons are good. I mean, if you are a Rams fan, wouldn’t you prefer the team that only beat them by 16? It’s almost like the “20 Reasons Why” gambit was a bad idea!

20) If the Patriots win Sunday, they made it clear they will not be comfortable accepting the Lombardi Trophy from Commissioner Roger Goodell, whom they blame for the Deflategate debacle. Tom Brady Sr., the quarterback’s father, recently reflected this sentiment when he called Goodell a liar and said, “Somebody that has Roger Goodell’s ethics doesn’t belong on any stage that Tom Brady is on.” The Falcons will gladly accept the trophy from anybody. It would, after all, be their first.

Reasons!

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Should the Chicago Bears sign Kareem Hunt?

Running back Kareem Hunt is arguably the most talented free agent currently on the market. He’s only 23-years old, he was the 2017 rushing champ, and he has averaged 110 yards from scrimmage in his 27 game career.

With with the Kansas City Chiefs in 2017, Hunt’s offensive coordinator was current Chicago Bears head coach Matt Nagy, and Hunt’s skill set was a perfect match for their (his) scheme and he was selected to the Pro Bowl. He was having an even better year in 2018 with K.C., and that’s where the “football” part of Hunt’s story ends.

Hunt was placed on the commissioner’s exempt list on November 30, 2018, following a video surfacing of him shoving and kicking a woman almost a year ago (February, 2017). The Chiefs released him shortly thereafter for lying about the incident when they were made aware of it.

Another assault accusation surfaced after the video was made public pertaining to an incident in January of 2017, and a third incident called a “minor altercation,” came up from June of 2017.

Many Bears’ fans have expressed an interest in Chicago signing Hunt for the 2019 season after Nagy and general manager Ryan Pace were asked about Hunt at their end of the season press conference. Neither shot down the possibility, so it naturally got fans thinking.

We ran a poll on Twitter to gauge the temperature of our fans.

Since our Facebook audience is much different than our Twitter audience (just trust me on this one), I wanted to run the poll over there too.

The results were surprisingly similar.

Since a lot of you guys that are regular readers of WCG don’t do the social media thing, we wanted to pose the same question here too.

Poll

Should the Bears sign Kareem Hunt?

69%

Yes

(833 votes)

30%

No

(368 votes)

1201 votes total Vote Now

Signing a player that has struck a woman is a non-starter for many people, but judging by the chatter on social media and sports talk radio, many fans are willing to give Hunt a second chance.

Nagy talked about his belief in giving a player a second chance at the presser, but he also said the team hasn’t had any official discussions about signing Hunt.

Bears Chairman George McCaskey made the media rounds earlier today, and the Kareem Hunt topic again came up. Much like Nagy and Pace, McCaskey didn’t shut the door on the possibility of the Bears signing Hunt once he’s removed from the exempt list, and when asked if the Bears would pursue him he said, “We’re not there yet.”

He also confirmed to the Chicago Tribune that there have been no internal discussions about adding Hunt. “Ryan (Pace) hasn’t said anything to me about Kareem Hunt. And Matt (Nagy) hasn’t said anything to me about Kareem Hunt.”

Hunt started to attend alcohol and anger management counseling in December, and he addressed his issues and apologized in an ESPN interview.

The league office will likely suspend him once he’s off the exempt list, but he’ll need to first prove to them his troubles are in the past.

More McCaskey from the Tribune:

“I think the important thing, as Matt pointed out,” McCaskey said, “is that he addresses his personal situation before worrying about football. I think that’s a demonstration of the kind of guy Matt is. He called him to have a non-football conversation because they had a player-coach relationship. I think that says a lot about Matt. He’s not just interested in these guys as football players. I think that’s one of the reasons the players respond to him so well.”

Nagy knows Hunt very well after coaching him for a year, and his recommendation will no doubt carry a lot of weight.

I gave my thoughts on Hunt signing in Chicago on my T Formation Podcast, but I’ll share the abridged version here.

If it was my call to make, if I were the Chicago Bears’ Chairman, I’m not signing Kareem Hunt. That’s just my personal feelings on the subject. I’m talking a pass on a man that strikes a woman.

However, if the Bears do add him a a free agent, it wont stop me from cheering for my favorite team. I’ve always looked at professional sports as a job. It’s a high paying job, but it’s a job nonetheless. Unless there’s a reason Hunt can’t work (i.e. he’s in jail) then I see no reason why a team can’t hire him. I’d just rather it not be my favorite team, but I have a suspicion it will be.

I asked a few of my colleagues to give me their take on the Bears signing Hunt and I’ll share their responses here.

Erik Christopher Duerrwaechter

This truly is a signing which represents opposite sides of the spectrum.

On one hand, this signing would put the Chicago Bears into a strong position at winning the Super Bowl; Kareem is precisely the type of back Matt Nagy is looking for in his offense. What’s more important, is Matt Nagy has already voiced his support for Hunt on not one, but two different occasions. In his philosophy, his mind, he (likely) believes Hunt deserves a second chance. Ryan Pace seems to have placed his full trust with Nagy, as he too didn’t rule out the possibility of signing Hunt. Mitchell Trubisky, for what it’s worth, has a close relationship with Hunt as well.

On the other hand, this is a public relations disaster that could ruin the Bears before the start of the season. The outrage will be fierce and relentless. The media, in all likelihood, would treat the Bears like the evil empire. Hunt’s actions are completely unacceptable, strictly from my own opinion. Never mind the fact he was caught unleashing violence on his girlfriend/ex/friend/whatever; he straight up lied about his involvement and investigation to the Kansas City Chiefs’ organization. He’s highly likely to be suspended at the start of the season, it’ll take an unprecedented miracle for him to escape the matter unscathed. It doesn’t matter if the charges were dropped, he’ll receive a firm hand from the NFL for the culmination of events.

As it stands, I do not support the idea of signing Kareem Hunt, from both a business and personal perspective. I will concede, though, I am human. I have no right to judge any person based on their life and their actions. There is not a single ounce of divine blood or nobility running in my veins. If Kareem is serious about earning the privilege of signing with the Chicago Bears, then let the man earn that right for himself. He’s been attending anger management classes, he’s been seeking help from numerous people. And, unlike a certain Kicker who resides in Chicago, he’s not playing the victim nor making a media tour about himself.

It’s a good possibility that a team will sign Hunt despite his baggage, and I see the Bears as a major player in that sweepstakes. I definitely do not like this idea whatsoever. However, I must place my emotions to the side, and think about everyone else’s perspective. If the entire franchise gets behind him, if Hunt proves that he can (somehow) be trusted again, and if he balls out; I will support him just like anyone else who plays for the Chicago Bears. This signing would by far be the biggest risk Ryan Pace has ever taken in his career, and this is an even bigger risk for Matt Nagy and his career. All I can and will do, is sit back, and watch what happens.

Robert Zeglinski

Robert, who is also the Bears beat writer for the Rock River Times, give us thoughts on the subject there in his article titled’ Kareem Hunt Is A Perfect Football Fit. The Bears Still Shouldn’t Acquire Him.

Josh Sunderbruch

I have a hard time with the idea the team of Walter Payton might also become the team of Kareem Hunt. I don’t want to see the legacies of those two mingled. I don’t want to get into it more than that, except to say that I think Robert’s exploration of the issue is thoughtful and thorough.

WhiskeyRanger

I think everyone knows my stance on it by now, but I’ll offer up the Cliffs Notes. Basically, Kareem Hunt isn’t Zeke Elliot or Saquon Barkley. He’s just a back that fits that system well, similarly to how Jordan Howard fit the Fox/Gase/Loggains system well. He’s well rounded, meaning he’s pretty good at about everything, but not GREAT at anything. Backs like that can be found on day 2 or 3 of the draft (Hunt was drafted in the 3rd round himself). So why bring in Hunt, and the baggage that comes with him, when you can find someone who can do the same things in this offense in the 3rd or 4th round?

Obviously the draft is something of a gamble, but Pace has a pretty good track record in the middle rounds. That’s why I never got the push to bring him in. Kareem Hunt wasn’t some kind of steal in the 3rd. That’s just where guys like him go. Let Ryan Pace and Matt Nagy continue to build through the draft, find their own guy, benefit from the rookie contract, and avoid the controversy that this team doesn’t need or want.

Robert Schmitz

Hunt fits the offense to a T, but he’s not a “star” RB so much as he’s a “really good system RB.” It’s frankly why I think there won’t be too much of a market for him. He obviously doesn’t fit in a smash scheme and he’s not fast enough for a pure speed scheme so he’s only going to succeed in a West Coast Offense. He’s a walking PR nightmare that would make our team the villain in the eyes of the press. I, personally, don’t want that and would rather find an equivalent back in the draft and get all 4 years of cheap production. It only bolsters that argument that our current draft picks are right in the strike zone for quality running backs.

Ken Mitchell

There are a lot of really, really good backs that we can draft that come without the baggage Hunt has.

Hunt may be a great player, but the running back position is one where there are many options out there.

I’m going to take a hard pass on Hunt.

Sam Householder

I’d rather not sign Kareem Hunt. I know myself well enough not to make any proclamation that I wouldn’t root for the team anymore, but I’d be very upset. There’s similar, if not better talent available if the team is able to scout it properly. I get the whole second chances thing and his previous relationship with Nagy but it’s just not worth it to me. I think that Ryan Pace and George McCaskey should’ve learned from the Ray McDonald signing. It only takes one slip up to be wearing egg on their faces. I’d like to see more proof that Hunt’s rehabilitated himself than just completing some courses and saying he’s moved on or bettered himself.

Sitting out games and talking isn’t enough. Talk about maturity or ‘mistakes’ all you want, but the fact is that plenty of players go out and get drunk or party or whatever and don’t end up assaulting people. There’s serious issues there that go beyond just ‘one night, one mistake.’ Pace and Nagy should know that the player they see in the facility during the day might not be the same person that’s out at the club or in the hotel at 4 a.m.

This locker room has been built on guys that are obsessed, right? Is Hunt really obsessed? Can you really imagine hearing that Trubisky or Cohen or Mack were at a hotel in the middle of the night, drunk and arguing with someone? It seems improbable, given what we know and what we’ve seen. We can’t say the same for Hunt.

Our staffers that chimed in are unanimous in not wanting the Bears to sign Kareem Hunt, but now it’s your turn. Be sure to vote in the poll, and also leave your thoughts in the comment section.

Just keep in mind our community guidelines when commenting. You guys can disagree with each other all you want, just don’t go about it like an asshole.

Source: https://www.windycitygridiron.com/2019/1/24/18193955/chicago-bears-fans-sign-kareem-hunt-kansas-city-chiefs-matt-nagy-jordan-howard-ryan-pace-mccaskey

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CONGRATULATIONS, BETH!

You have been accepted to play the role of LUCAS LOCKWOOD with the faceclaim of SEAN TEALE. Please create your account and send it to the main in the next 24 hours. I didn’t have to finish the application to be sold, but I finished it three times and, at every reading, I found something new to love. It’s a complex one, underlining not the surface of Lucas, but what’s inside his heart and after reading everything you have chosen to fill this application with, I can honestly say that I trust you wholly with this character, for you have already made him yours. You understand Lucas on so many different layers that I couldn’t imagine anybody else even trying to play him. Are you sure you haven’t written the biography yourself? I have seen your magic in this application tonight, but what I am truly enthusiastic about is the actual roleplaying with you.

OUT OF CHARACTER INFORMATION

Name and pronouns: Beth and She/Her

Age: 25

Time-zone: EST

Activity level: I work full time on a shifting schedule, I’m the main admin and currently only admin in another RP where I have eight characters, and I try to maintain at least a weak social life so I don’t want to promise anything I can’t live up to, so I cannot promise rapid fire replies all day every day I have free time, but I intend to do replies at some point every day, and truly believe I can manage and if anything it will be easier to slip in replies for a roleplay where I only have one character and where doing replies doesn’t trigger questions and hurt feelings over why I have not done more replies. I could end up not as available as I think, every other day or so instead of every day, but I am dedicated and I have no intention of just appearing only to stay off activity check or anything of that nature. Furthermore, I vow to reply with thought and substance, fully present when I am present—but now I’ll stop before I go on and make those promises I can’t keep. Alternatively, I could just write in this section: Bitch, you know how I roll

Triggers: I can’t think of anything I react strongly enough to for it to be considered truly triggering. We all have stuff that we are less comfortable with or don’t like, but for me there’s nothing that would cause any reaction stronger than to possibly skip reading the rest of the post if I’m not involved that I can think of right now, and nothing I believe I couldn’t handle being involved in especially as most traumatic plots would have to be cleared in advance and I’d have a chance to access my comfortability (ie rape or my character discovering the body of a friend who committed suicide), but I will let you know if something arises and tag anything in the triggers tag.

IN CHARACTER INFORMATION

Desired character: Lucas Lockwood. Several areas of his background struck with me. It’s always a balance of finding a character that you can put a piece of your soul into as a way to bring them to life but not making them your physical skin to a point where it is both boring to play albeit easy to know how they will react or dangerous that you may take things said/done to or about the character too personally. Lucas, truly, is very far from me—though those are the aspects I am drawn to too and can’t wait to explore, the Casanova spirit, the tough callouses grown on the path to “cool” and enviable paragon, the fake relationship with strong frames supporting rotting guts and the mindset of what would possess one of the ten men who could have anything to persist in that arrangement when the Casanova is limiting who he can charm into his arms and bed and how openly  and the boy who for  loves love deep at heart is settling for a lack, the sexual tension with the stepsister, and the evolution to careless rich boy—but his history spoke to me until I saw him as a kindred spirit talking to me about shared experiences. I was older than Lucas was when he lost his mother, but I know that pain and the further hell of seeing a parent shattered for years and being what feels like their caregiver when they still should have been caring for you, and to have that be what feels like the expectation, damaging words of “take care of your [for me it was my mother left]”  or “you can’t be a child from now on” feeling like orders not just sentiments with some of them regretful. I’ve seen my remaining parent leave a job and collapse in—though I will defend that my mother didn’t do so to the extents I may hypothesize Mr. Lockwood did– and heard them talk about love so strong they now know why in some traditions wives throw themselves on their husband’s funeral pyres, making me wonder why love for a child wasn’t enough to live but then having the weight fall that parental love and obligation was the only thing keeping them on the earth. I’ve worn clothes until they literally fall apart and learned to cook from free food pantry items, and I’ve also experienced the recovery as life does go on and get better eventually, though there was no marrying rich or even new love besides finding new love for living and new jobs in my family’s story. My mother calls even the idea of finding someone new to love an abomination in the face of true love thirteen years after my father died and talks about him all the time,  selling the idea of consuming love and soulmates until it becomes as terrifying as it is enchanting to hear of how life shapingly wonderful being in love is and you don’t know whether to run to or run away which are conversations I am sure Lucas and his father had. I know how deliriously, desperately happy and hopeful I would be if my mother did fall in love again, the way my knees would bruise with the speed and fervency I would drop to my knees to pray it lasts, and the lengths I would go to making sure nothing interferes while trying not to show how much it means and scare the budding love away, so it is all too easy to see Lucas’s mind on the new marriage. Those are the heavy aspects and those of what first ties me to the character over the other riot Club members, but, at the core I desire Luca because I do love the easy-breezy and charming aspects and I plan on having a lot of fun with our rioting rich boys and the inter-club war. Also, come on, I saw apps for Lauren and Cordelia and there’s a good starting place.

Gender and pronouns of the character: Male, he/him

Changes: As discussed, I would like to change the faceclaim to Sean Teale.  I can think of no other changes at this time as it was already established we had the same ideas about areas of his backstory that were left more open (ie what age he was when his mother died), not that I believe I would have changed those anyway instead of adapting. Anything else that diverts from the bio would be unintentional, personal interpretation, or character growth over time and if something strikes you as off and wasn’t cleared beforehand you can approach and reproach me as it really would be misunderstanding more than likely.

Traits:

For someone with humble beginnings, Lucas lacks the social consciousness or sense of social responsibility one might expect –to a degree at least. He may furrow his brow occasionally and discuss heavy world issues with intelligence, but only until the next opportunity to change the subject comes up. Problems bore and choke him and he’s gagged enough on dust. He will fold his biggest bill and put it in a busker’s container or the homeless man’s cup with compassion but these are the same close to empty gestures of anyone with periodic guilt for having when there are have-nots and he’ll join the jeering too if anyone says they are where they are only through fault of their own, without correcting that it’s often more complicated. He not only doesn’t read evil intent into casual comments such as assumptions he’s good at football, but would defend there would be nothing wrong in it if these were in fact based in the shade of his skin rather than the facts that he has a footballers’ build and stance and is known to be athletic and competitive, or that he made a comment about playing in lower school one time. Not everything is racist, or everything is and it’s too exhausting to pay attention to all of it and not worth it if it’s not harmful. Nobody’s calling him any slurs, or the one time they did it seemed affectionate (And it was the wrong one, which made it funnier instead of more offensive, assuming his mother had been Sicilian not Spanish with family  roots in…he isn’t even sure where. Someplace tropical, but God forsaken and constantly destroyed by hurricanes instead of fashionable, he’d say, getting the vibe part right and part very wrong and terribly offensive to any kin he could have tracked down on that side). He fired back just as quickly with a term of his own that could have gotten him in serious trouble in school, beaten up, or professionally blacklisted if said in the wrong setting to the wrong person, because he was lacking filter and sensitivity that day, but it was just jokes, just how the boys talk—and he loves his boys more than his own life that he’d dispose for any of them not realizing that claiming and feeling so he’s fallen into the love trap just like any romantic even if it’s a different genus of love.

It’s just like they can call each other every slang or synonym for homosexual in the book as insult with only the oversensitive in his estimation calling it hate speak, though they hardly do call each other that way anymore when it’s an outdated fashion. It’s more designer edgy—again, his estimation and his personality that all is aesthetic–to embrace yourself and your peers as any identity but straight and to wave your hands vaguely, spreading the smoke from your lit cigarette you openly mock as phallic as if anyone thinks Freud is more than a joke anymore as you slouch and sit with legs spread because careless is a fashion too, and talk about how you don’t see gender really and sexuality is a spectrum (as you, and only you out of millions who have said the exact same thing) understand truly. You say you don’t like to label or limit yourself and make eye contact with either the prettiest thing in the room or the one you want to exert dominance over because, gay, straight, pan, bi, demi, or any other either of you might be, if they look away first you’ve gained power. It’s a game. Lucas takes everything that makes up behavior lightly as a game that he’s childishly pleased to have learned all the rules of young—not that he shows how pleased, cool cucumber he must play.

Lucas is close to truly soulless, not mourning the morals he doesn’t adhere to like Nicholas secretly does, and not aware that he is miserable, self-hating, or even much miserable at all like Miles seems to be. He is content with what he’s sold, even content in not feeling the warmth of falling in love except in tastes that last for hours or nights or linger in generalities of finding everyone has something lovable. He’s a light spirit and adaptable in the extreme to the point he would seem weak willed and desperate to fit any mold to be liked if he were less shining and a touch more pathetic. He doesn’t see it as selling out or hiding a “real him” but that he’s gone and found his days in the sun and is enjoying them just as his father went and found new life.

I have hardly gone into the traits that make him up, though I’ve touched on some that weren’t borrowed explicitly from the bio to give you a better idea that I am immersing in and creating a character that is truly mine instead of just parroting. This was supposed to just be a beginning but I have talked too long (as I could truly talk about Lucas all day) and I will spare you further reading unless you want me to return to this section.

Extras:

First off, Lucas’s major course.  I would have him go for a MEng in Engineering Science, which may seem weight-y and cerebral for Lucas, but I feel like it is befitting for:

Someone who grew up in thin times where handymen and other technicians like plumbers and electricians couldn’t be afforded and would be trying to fix things as they broke, far beyond his usual expected level sometimes as a child, and tinker until they worked—even if his father when he could be stirred did most of it and Lucas was just observing. You spend enough time trying to look at everything and figure out how it goes together and comes apart and how to keep it working, and you either get frustrated and resentful or develop talents and fascinations

Engineers are both respected and always in demand, and Lucas wants to be secure in life even if he one day never sees a dime of the McQueen money that is now the merged family bankroll. He doesn’t have the obsession with a certain style of life that Nicholas does. He could give up the designers that he only memorizes to fit in and because they mean something to others (and, on the other hand, only feigns ignorance of sometimes to bait Cordelia or make her eyes widen). He could leave opulent houses and once in a lifetime vacations that happen multiple times a year. He doesn’t need fine food and drink, but he does need to know there will always be a full table, a roof, and clothes on back no matter what fate throws, and he’ll develop talents that aren’t easy to learn and study advanced maths few want to approach to make himself indispensable even if he’s gone from top to middle of the class as to truly excel at his chosen course it requires dedication he has in spirit but not always in practice as there are so many things to commit time to instead of living in a mechanics or robotics lab or scribbling in a notebook or entering equations in a laptop every waking moment.

For a more fun and light extra, I made a text post meme post—on a blog not related to this RP because , though I know mock blogs are a thing, my own superstition is it’s tempting fate to make a character blog in advance unless instructed to. I could defend every quote I chose if asked, including why “having no fucks left to give” and “I cannot stop caring” are not as contradictory as they would seem at first brush, but, as you wrote the character, I am sure you can see where I drew influences from and if I am taking away the right bits.

http://the-dark-marks.tumblr.com/private/160156220833/tumblr_op8d47IkaB1ttdq0w

Headcanons and other extras will come through the days that come if I am to be accepted. Everything from here on out is an “extra” technically as we get chances to prove we can take the characters beyond the bios and add layers.

PARA SAMPLE

Lucas had taught himself to tie a tie from a youtube video in his room at eleven when some friend’s concerned parents compelled him into going to church services with them, pulling the trick by making it into a gateway to a whole day of plan, the family in question always having some adventure planned that they left for via a Sunday drive tradition straight  from church. He knew it was all part trick, no reason they couldn’t double back and pick him up after services as he stood waiting in street clothes and they too had a chance to go home and change instead of awkwardly packing extra outfits if warranted and changing in the church bathroom.  He didn’t even mind. They weren’t even trying to “save” him. They just thought he needed “proper influences” in his life like they could see through the windows of his house, though Mr. Lockwood could put on a face of the best of them and act the dear and doting, constantly cheerful jokester matured into cool dad that still had boundaries even though it took more to get to them that Lucas remembered from his early childhood. He slayed at parent and teacher nights.

So Lucas learned to tie a tie, the same tie that went with the same dusty and too short in the arms and legs by then suit he’d worn to his mother’s funeral a few years before, because he didn’t know how fancy this church was and he didn’t own a button down that wasn’t short sleeves anyway at the time and it was winter, so suit with suit jacket it was. He couldn’t ask his father that day, not only because he didn’t know how to explain that he had nothing else to wear and not make his father feel guilty if he laughed at the suit and asked the question the one who bought the clothes they both dressed in should already know the answer to. It wasn’t because he didn’t want to answer why he was going to church in monkey clothes (Ah, how funny to think how many times a year the Lockwood patriarch would be wearing true monkey suits to lofty events, parading tuxedos with pride and beaming over cufflinks in not too many years, though the beaming was for who had bought him the cufflinks and helped him pick the suit) just for the sake of a day on the pier and the beach after, why the other family wanted to drag him about so, when it was because they thought Lucas would be better imitating any of the upstanding kind of men you met in such a building or absorbing some good advice from scripture rather than listening to his father. It was because it was almost the anniversary of when his mother died again and Dad was locked in his room the past two days listening to their song.

He’d done a not bad job on the tie, but his father had caught him on his way out and, after a confused look  that read startled to even see him in the house and not remembering that it wasn’t yesterday Lucas’ friend’s family was picking him up and today they were returning him much less that there was something planned that needed a suit, and following this with an obvious reassembling of expression that said he was going to pretend to be all knowing so he didn’t look like a bad father,  adjusted it for him, giving him advice on how to make a straighter, surer not and have the tie lay better next time.

Practice and fatherly advice and Lucas got quite good at ties over the years. He added more and more styles of knotting  to his repertoire over the years as he added more ties of finer materials and had more occasion to wear them,  though he faltered on purpose at the first few events with the McQueens to feel that motherly touch of his father’s new wife that fulfilled a craving he’d shut himself off from having almost ten years before meeting her or to smirk at Cordelia and gaze into her eyes trying to decide whether it was amusement or disdain in them as she rebuked his uselessness and he felt her fingers dancing around his collar. Oxford and his mates taught him yet more and what styles suited what, well, suits and days until he could have written his own books on customs and etiquette just related to the silly bits of silk, and the only time now he felt at loss was when the question became what tie to wear in what style to Elizabeth Pemberly’s funeral and how to not make it feel like his own noose when he gazed on another coffin.