#a tad bit because tho she won’t admit it she is interested to see how koana will do in the trials to come

[mnemosyne-xiv]

“You’re really going then?”

Remia tilted her head towards the man who had approached her. “You were with my sister and the true Warrior of Light at the edge of existence, were you not?” She said softly. “The Ancients spoke of the golden city. I doubt they’d mention it if it didn’t have to do with another reflection.”

G’raha chuckled. “So you have no interest in the Rite of Suceession then?”

“The affairs of other nations don’t concern me.”

“But Zero seems awfully invested in the Second Promises determination to bring innovation to his home.”

Her lips thinned. “Well, how Zero wishes to waste her time here is also none of my concern.”

He slowly nodded. “Uh-huh. It’s merely coincidence then that you’re accompanying her, Urianger, and Thancred to help Koana then?”

Remia sighed. “Is there a reason you’re bothering me about this, crystal-kitty?”

“I’m curious to learn what has caught the eye of the Silver Kitsune.”

“The tech-kitty is amusing enough to keep me entertained while I search for the information I need to reach the golden city. There’s nothing more to it than that.”

G’raha walked to stand beside her, his gaze falling to the calm waters of the Scholar’s Harbor. “Be honest with me for a moment, Remia,” he paused as he shifted his eyes to her, “are you using Koana?”

Her lips curled into a soft smile. “Of course I am.”

[worminstuff]

tbott headcanons by me

the author

no one in particular asked for this, but

headcanons for tbott sleepy bois

tbott techno

4 words

Nerd with pink hair.

Techno is quite the bookworm, thanks to y/n constantly buying/finding him new books and feeding his minor addiction over the years. He was a  fiend for knowledge.

And he so happens to have pink hair.

Techno is about 6’2 ish maybe a bit less, which is tall for his age. He’s about 16 ish.

Something that hasn’t been vital but I think about a lot while writing, he has a nose ring. A septum to be precise, a little gold ring. He got it for his 14th birthday, and y/n even went with him for it. He often fiddles with it when he’s nervous.

He often wears jeans and t shirts, if it’s colder he’ll grab a hoodie. He likes button ups, and he really likes cardigans and so does Wilbur! His glasses are simple black rectangle fames, and they’re only for reading because he normally wears contacts. Even tho he hates them.

Techno would never admit it vocally, but he’s a huge cuddle bug. Especially when he hasn’t seen y/n for a while, or he happens to catch her in a low time. Middle of the night, a sleep over in the tree house, he would 100% “unintentionally” try to pull y/n close.

He also tries to catch tommy at a time when he’s sleepy, so he can try to hug his little brother. He often finds tommy incredibly annoying, since he’s a tad to chaotic for techno, but when tommys cuddly techno is all for it.

Techno does this sorta stalker ish thing when y/n or mentions something they really like, he researches them. He gets as knowledgeable on those topics as he can. He wants to always be able to have a conversation with y/n about something she likes, it makes pulling smiles out of her even easier.

tbott wilbur

He may seem like a sad boy a whole lot rn, (I’m so sorry) but he’s a happy boy usually! He’s a constant smile that roams the house.

Wilbur is about 6’4 ish, and he’s 18. He owns about 10 pairs of black skinny jeans and he owns copious amounts of sweaters. He’s very style oriented most of the time, but it’s not out of ordinary to catch him in some basketball shorts or pj pants and a t shirt.

Wilbur was a protective brother, growing up he payed close attention to how people treated techno, since he was a bit..antisocial. But wilbur was sure he wouldn’t have that problem with Tommy. For obvious reasons.

Wilbur and tommys relationship (is my favorite asdfghj) is pretty awesome. Tommy in his most chaotic forms, matches the levels of wilburs energy. Mans likes his coffee. They’re a scary duo. But an entertaining one.

Wilburs love language is very vocal, tho he’ll always go for a hug, he very much thinks words mean more than actions themselves. Hence putting his feelings into lyrics often.

He’s written many songs about y/n. She’s never heard any of them. Wilbur used to walk with techno and y/n each morning, and he loved to hear her babble on and on about whatever thing she found exciting thay particular day.

Wilbur had a bad habit of convincing himself out of talking to her, which was why they never had much of a friendship growing up. He was really glad when they started to talk though, he looked forward to it often. He always had a soft spot for the way she always listens so intently, making sure she won’t forget anything he tells her. Especially if they’re talking interests.

Tbott tommy

I’m gonna paint you a picture for this one, a small picture.

It was a hot day in august and the crew had just gotten back from a beach day, and tommy was irritated. They had learned, very fast, tommy did not like the beach.

As soon as they were in through the door, and Phil let Tommy on his own feet. Tommy was reaching for his bag that Phil was holding. Confused, Phil handed him the bag. Immediately, tommy unzipped the bag and grabbed the bottom of it flipping it upside down.

A wave of sand hit the wood floors.

Phil, techno, and Wilbur stood dumbstruck.

When had he managed to get his bag full of sand? Why had he put sand in his bag? Where were the things that were supposed to be in his bag?

The answers to these questions, as tommy said,: when he did. Cause he wanted to. Sand.

“D-do ya not like the sand tommy?” Techno asked. Still throughly confused. Tommy looked up at his older brother and pointed to the car.

Phil’s eyes widened. Wilbur was the first out to the car, opening the door to the back seat tommys car seat was placed, and low and behold, there was a crab sitting on his car seat.

He got the sand, for his crab.

Tommy also only listens to y/n while mid temper tantrum’s, which was something Phil wished they hadn’t learned only months prior.

Tbott Phil

He’s a soft dad, he’s very caring and not harsh.

He cares less about discipline and more about the lessons he wants to teach his kids that they can learn from, rather than punishing.

The only kid he’s grounded was wilbur, which seems like it would be obvious because Tommy is like 4 and techno is..techno.

Phil learned early on that y/ns parents were rather unpresent. He started keeping extra things around the house like a toothbrush, a hair brush, girl shampoo. Because he wanted her to have everything she needed when she needed to be there, or chose to be.

He even tried to buy her clothes for the house, they didn’t fit but she appreciated it so much.

Phil enjoys days where the boys go off to school and it’s just him and tommy. Though he loves his older boys, watching tommy grow up is incredibly entertaining. His mind works so strangely and Phil finds it so amazing.

Phil was one of y/ns emergency contacts per her parents request. So when y/n got in trouble, he was often the one to find out first. Or when she got hurt or sick. She was like a daughter to him. He even often joked she was his favorite child.

Tommy didn’t like this joke.

When Phil first became a dad, he wasn’t a good cook. But over the years he’s mastered his craft and was quite the chef.

I hope this is something you guys enjoy! It’s just a little more insight to how I see the sleepy bois in this au in particular! And hopefully this may help with blurb requests!

[barbecuebabybackribs]

Being in a Poly relationship with Emmett and Rosalie would include:

(Gender Neutral Pronouns

I hope you guys enjoy this! It just popped into my head so I decided to write it out for all of y’all. Also this is super long!! Just a heads up, Enjoy and stay safe guys:) )

To say you surprised them would be a big understatement

They’d both be really conflicted- neither of them wanted to admit they wanted to pursue you

Edward would take pity on them

“Emmett, Rosalie, you both want to be with Y/N- the other won’t be upset if you admit it.”

“...”

Emmett is absolutely pumped- having one mate? Amazing, fabulous. But having two? ABSOLUTE HEAVEN

Rosalie is a bit more conflicted- you’re a human, so fragile and vulnerable. Being around her would mean you’re constantly at risk, not to mention the fact that you becoming a vampire at one point or another shakes her to her very core.

Emmett agree’s to not ask you out until Rosalie is comfortable with it, IF, she agrees to befriend you in the meantime

The next time your in the cafeteria- sitting alone picking at the cheap school lunch, when two people sit at the table with you

When you look up you realize Emmett is on your left and Rosalie is on your right- your surrounded by the schools power couple- the schools very attractive power couple

“Um, Hello?” you say nervously due to the fact they never interact with others outside of there family- let alone you.

“Hello, I’m Rosalie, your Y/N, Right?”

“Yeah, and I know you, You’re Rosalie Hale, and That’s Emmett Cullen, your basically the talk of the school.”

“Oh really? So what have they been saying about us?” Emmett would laugh- knowing some of the rumors going around town were a bit wild.

You’d talk for the rest of the lunch period, telling them about yourself and all the rumors about them- some as simple as Rosalie being a bleached blonde, some being that Emmett ran a satanic sex cult and Rosalie flirts with people to lure them in- that one had Emmett and Rosalie nearly rolling on the floor with laughter

For the next week they’d always sit with you at lunch and you started to consider them friends

The next week they showed up after your last class and walked you to your car

The next week at lunch they started telling you about how they were heading up to Seattle during the weekend

“Hey you know what? You should go with us!”

“Oh? I would hate to impose and be a third wheel.”

“Come on, we’d love to have you there.” Emmett would smile and wrap and arm around you.

You’d look to Rosalie to see if she was okay with it, She had a smile on her face so you assumed she was down

“Yeah, it does sound like fun.”

They’d pick you up from your house the next day in their Jeep

Emmett was blaring music which caused you neighbors to give you a dirty look

Emmett insists you see the “Gum Wall” Which was both interesting a gross

Rosalie takes you to the top of the Space Needle

Rosalie almost has a heart attack- if that were possible- when you stand up to fast and get light headed

Emmett forces you to sit back down and tries to keep Rosalie from calling Carlisle

“I’m sorry guys, I just got light-headed since I haven’t eaten yet today.”

They both forgot you had human needs and Rosalie sits with you scolding you for not telling them you were hungry earlier while Emmett finds food for you

Comes back essentially holding enough food to feed 20 people

“UM! That’d a lot!”

“Well I didn’t know what you wanted so I got one of everything.”

You awkwardly eat as much as you can- offering a lot of it to them and being a tad confused when they decline

You end up giving the leftovers to homeless people

You end up having an amazing day, they take you and bid you farewell- saying you had to do it more often

Watching them drive away you realize you’d fallen for them

You low key feel guilty and the next time the sit with you, you can’t get the thought of you being a horrible person and homewrecker out of your head- I mean they’re in love with each other, who are you to think you even stand a chance?

They both realize something’s off with you and ask Edward later that day if he noticed anything in your thoughts- even though Rosalie told him to stay out of your head.

He tells them what you had been conflicted about

They’re conflicted

Emmett’s pumped you officially like them- and both of them, part of him was worried about you only falling for one of them

Rosalie was happy you shared there feelings but the fact you thought negatively of yourself because of them ate her up.

Rosalie tells Emmett it’s time to consider asking you out,

It still takes them a few weeks to officially ask but suddenly your receiving presents from them and being invited to all kinds of outings

You make them string friendship bracelets and they think it’s the cutest thing in the world- they both wear them 24/7

Movie “Outings”

Hiking “Outings”

Port Angela’s “Outings”

Going to lunch wear only you eat 

Getting ice cream where only you eat.

Basically any human thing they can do, you’re right there next to them

Emmett takes you to play football and only laughs at how bad you are

You’re jaw drops to the floor when you see Emmett throw the ball out of the field

“How the hell?!?”

“Oops, to much power in that one.”

Rosalie takes you on a self pamper day

Hair- Check . Nails- Check. skin Care- Check. Gossip- Check.

You go home that day having dirt on everyone in the town

One day your surprised to see they aren’t waiting for you after class, you stick around for a few minutes to see if they’re late- but they never show

Eventually you head to your car and see them waiting for you there and they finally officially ask you out

Rosalie starts to say it but hesitates and Emmett says it for her

“Y/N, We wanna go out with you.”

“... Like... to the movies?”

“No, we mean, we want to date you.” Rosalie says, tightening her grip on Emmett’s hand

Your silent for a few seconds and they’re worried you’’re going to say no

Pleasantly surprised when you break out in a big smile and say “Yes!”

“Awesome.” Emmett says pulling you into long bear hug- which he squeezes a little to tight but you just savor the moment 

Rosalie is standing next to the both of you, absolutely shocked and excited, gets a big smile on her face when she see’s you and Emmett’s smile and hears how fast your heart is beating

You all enjoy your evening together- your smiles never leaving your faces

They drive you home and Rosalie gives you a hug goodbye- which turns into a group hug when Emmett joins

They never tell you but they heard you call your friend practically squealing in excitement as you told them you’d just got back on a date with “Rosalie AND EMMETT”

They both went home down right giddy- they got cornered by Alice, with Jasper and Edward both in the corner snickering

After you officially start dating Emmett and Rosalie don’t hold back

Emmett has picked you up and carried you around school multiple times

Rosalie had to be physically restrained when someone had the audacity to grope your ass

She still gave them a piece of her mind tho- and it’s rumored they never laid a hand on another person again

They help you study and do your homework- they do have lot’s of experience after all

When your parents aren’t home you all stay up late in the living room watching movies- Rosalie finds your mom baby photo album of you and gushes over tiny you

You end up falling asleep on Emmett’s shoulder- Rosalie takes a photo of you two

Dates with each other but also dates where its just you and Rosalie, you and Emmett, or just the two of them

Emmett kisses you first- takes you surprise and kisses you after he dropped you off at home, then drove away with the biggest cheeky grin in the world

Rosalie is low-key jealous they kissed you first

Next time you see Rosalie? She dips you over and gives you a big ole kiss

Smugly smiles when she see’s you have the biggest blush on your face known to man

After the initial kiss it’s just part of the daily norm

A kiss when you first see each-other, when you say goodbye, a random smooch or two threw out the day

You get all kinds of envious glares from others

Also people who just think you’re sickingly cute

Rosalie decides it’s time for you to know about vampires when you start asking why they never eat on your guy’s dates and there eye’s always change colors

Take you on a long hike so there’s no one around to hear, also encase you feel the need to scream in confusion/fear

You think they’re joking at first

That is until Emmett picks up a boulder and throws it like it’s a baseball across the field

You sit down on a log to process for a second

“Y/N... Are you okay?”

“I made out with a vampire... I made out with two vampires... I’m  DATING TWO VAMPIRES!”

You have a million questions and they answer them all

You ask Emmett to pick you up with one hand- he does and laughs at how surprised you are

“You’re like the hulk!”

You dramatically lean against a tree and tell Rosalie she’ll need to carry you back since your just soo tired- you mean it mainly as a joke

To your surprise she carries you bridal style all the way home- laughing at how giddy you are over such a simple thing

They don’t have fully have sex with you while your human but they are willing to do a lot of other things

They forgot how much humans blush at simple things and it makes no-beating hearts ache

Introduction to the family is a bit awkward but pleasant

Esme absolutely adores you and loves cooking you complex dishes

Carlisle is so happy to see you making his “Kids” happy and also is happy that you’re such a lovely person in general

Edward and Alice basically already know everything about you

Alice gets a little to excited and talks about how good of friends you’ll be and how she’s already planning your new wardrobe

Rosalie pry’s her away from you

Edward doesn’t say much to you but is nice, a little moody but nice

Bella makes sure you feel welcome and tells her if your’re ever struggling to come to her because she’s been in the same situation and knows what it’s like 

After meeting them it basically becomes your second home

They get a bed put in there room so you can spend the night

They love cuddling with you while you sleep, adoring how you’ll softly mumble random words

Cute little picnic dates

You watch Rosalie work on cars and attempt to help her

She ends up teaching you the basics

Sometimes you read to her while she works on cars, or you simply keep her company

Emmett and you wrestle a lot- although he obviously always wins besides the few times he lets you win

You’ve randomly leaped onto his back to many time to count- he loves it

You all go on vacation together during the summer

You go to some private beach and gush over how there skin sparkles so beautifully

Rosalie and Emmett nearly die on the spot when they see you get hit by a car

Rosalie holds you while Emmett calls 911

They realize the cops won’t get there in time- but they don’t want to “doom” you to the life of a vampire

“It’s okay guys, you don’t have to do it.” You would smile weakly at them

“Don’t say that, you’ll be fine.”

It was a lie and you all knew it

When your heart beats starts to slow down and you’re eyes flicker closed they silently agree they have to do it

Emmett is the one who bites you- a lump forming in his throat as you groan in pain as the venom starts to take affect

Rosalie cradles you softly as you start your transition- they end up moving you when they hear the ambulance coming close

They calls the rest of the cullens and let them know- Alice had already seen it but she was to late to call and warn them

They all come to you but all silently agree to only let Rosalie and Emmett in the room your in until you’re ready- most newborns want to be alone

When you wake up and your blood red eyes flicker around the room, you jump up so fast you break the bed frame

All previously dull colors are now vibrant and almost headache inducing, you can hear everything in a room that was previously silent, and the smells- the smells were the worst part, everything was so overwhelming

Not to mention the almost unbearable burning in the back of your throat

“Y/N, are you alright?”

You look over to see a very stressed looking Emmett and Rosalie

“Uhm” You rasp out before clearing your throat, “I.. think so?”

Rosalie offers you a cup of blood Edward had caught for you

You hesitantly take it and ask “What... What does it take like.”

“Take a sip and find out!” Emmett slaps your back and then rubs it supportingly

You take a small sip, surprised at how much it lessens the burning in your throat “It’s.. okay.” You say not wanting to admit it was really good to you- although you do finish the glass

Alice proceeds to carry a whole mirror into the room so you can see yourself- you stare awkwardly at your reflection that now seems foreign

Vampire lessons by everyone

Jasper and Emmett teach you to fight

Carlisle teaches you restraints

Edward and Bella teach you the whole cover story

Rosalie and Alice teach you “How to act human 101″

Emmett and Rosalie both find you one day obviously upset when you realize you’ll have to leave behind your friends and family

They help you learn to cope and let you know it’s completely normal to feel what you feel

Emmett cheers you up by throwing you fifty feet in the air- which was a unique method that worked wonders

Emmett sneak attacks you and you flinch so hard you put a hole in the wall

You get him back by tackling him to the ground- which only works for a second before he’s rolled on top of you and hungrily looking at you lips

You end up making out in the middle of the woods

When the rest of the cullens go back home you decide to stay at the beach for another week

During that week you all agree to take the next step- multiple times

It’s a good thing jasper is out of there because you are full of lust for literal days

You all go home and Edward immediately cringes at Emmett’s thoughts

You home to reveal all your previous rooms stuff had been moved to Rosalie and Emmett’s room- Well now Rosalie, Emmett’s, and Your room

You all are cuddle bugs

Resting your head on Rosalie’s chest is your favorite thing

Well, Clinging to Emmett’s back while he makes his way threw daily life is also up there

You all go hunting together and are one powerful gang

In Rosalie’s eyes your all damned but at least you’re damned together

You all spend the rest of your very long lives protecting and loving each other- even threw the roughest of times nothing could break you apart

You all love each other and that’s enough

[eyrieofsynapses]

so today I just watched the first episode of Almost Paradise! And I’ve gotta say, I am impressed. I already had it on my watchlist but I was planning to wait to watch it for a while until I could let Eliot fade a bit from memory, just so I wouldn’t automatically think of him while watching Kane. But I ran into an article this weekend about how it was filmed in the Philippines and the details of that, and my curiosity was piqued considerably more, so I figured... why not? 

(I also started White Collar this weekend and that was very enjoyable, but that’s a post for another day.) 

Anyway, my brain’s buzzing now, so have some first impressions and reactions, plus initial meta-analysis because I am intrigued. In hindsight I probably should have recorded first impressions while I was watching, but I’ll do my best to remember the bits that stuck out. Warning for... exceedingly long post.

ooo, okay, so he’s got a medical condition. I faaaaintly remember reading about this in the summary but I didn’t pay much attention to that, oops.

telling a guy played by Chris Kane not to get his heartrate up! that’s definitely gonna happen. definitely. one hundred percent. not like this guy loves fighting or anything

(also tbh the joke about, ah, sexual dysfunction admittedly left a sour taste in my mouth, because I do not go for that kind of thing, but... this is Devlin and Kane, so I’m trusting, based off Leverage experience, that they aren’t gonna be too inappropriate. [In hindsight there are actually interesting meta reasons for this so the sour taste has dissipated somewhat.])

this poor doctor. she’s so done with him. 

...he’s definitely not gonna pay attention to the monitor is he

that journal’s gonna get zero use oop

(I was duly impressed when he actually did use it later)

huh, liking how we immediately dive into the effect tourism has had on the Philippines. so we’re getting some commentary here too? I can deal with that

...wow. bad shop. eek

I’m sorry but I am loving the touch with the floorboards and such breaking beneath Alex. the look on his face is just perfect

and the monitor goes off! for tbh the last reason I expected it to first go off for, excellent 

MOTORCYLE? did they give him a motorcycle?!

awww no it’s the baddies who have the motorcycle :(

hmm this should be interesting. loving the look of this leader guy tho

--aaaand good asthetic guy is dead! with an ice pick! creepy and creative! 

bar. no way this could go wrong

internal battle! understandable that Alex wants out, buuuuuuut if he’s anything like I suspect he is--

--yup, picking a fight, with a damn pool cue--

--not picking a fight?

...picking a fight. by being friendly. *sigh*

yuuuuuuuup. that’s definitely good for your heart

badass fighting scene! with a pool cue, that’s a new one! love seeing Kane take ordinary objects and turn them into fighting tools

(ngl this had Eliot vibes. that said I am thrilled to see how damn good these fight scenes are and this is making me even more excited for Redemption)

aaaaaaaaaand oh fuck this was a police setup. which. I actually did not see coming, huh

ahahah they’re pissed! because he messed up their bust? or because he just saved their asses? 

...probably technically the former but I suspect the latter is also true

refusing to get Involved being foreshadowed by his indecision earlier! of course he’s going to get Involved anyway, only question is how

“hitter” I SEE YOU. I SEE YOU AND YOUR REFERENCES. I SEE YOU DEVLIN AND KANE

pfffffffffffFFFFFT the meditation, oh gods

that voice. oh Alex. 

I genuinely cannot tell if this is him actually trying or if this is him begrudgingly making an attempt because he has to

lacquering(?) the doors, which, hey, actually look pretty nice--this place is gonna look good when it’s done isn’t iii--

oh fuck Alex is being attacked

(this is definitely something to be concerned about. yes. totally. not like we haven’t already seen him take down a bunch of guys.)

with a garrot! this is definitely totally not how he’s gonna get Involved

oh my gods the detail with the paint. nothing says Competent like getting irritated at how the baddie interrupted your house restoration

hehehehe Involved

oooh, hmm, he thinks they sent the guy after him? what kind of corruption has Alex faced? I mean it’s not an unreasonable fear, but jeez, it sounds like this has happened to him before. doesn’t say much good about the DEA...

huh, this is a level of disturbed I haven’t seen from Kane before. which, granted, I have only seen him in Leverage, but I’ve never seen him pull this out before. the voice crack is an excellent touch

also, worth noting, Alex is definitely a notable level of... hmm, paranoid? this is just a tad bit frantic, though that’s understandable from a guy who almost got killed while in the middle of an attempted meditation

oh god being cocky in the middle of a briefing. poor Kai 

--being cocky and competence porn! of course he takes the watch and turns it into a lesson

...he must be a hell of a teacher

(also, bonus points for actually using the journal. maybe he’s taking this health thing more seriously than I thought he would?)

may I repeat: COMPETENCE PORN

uh-huh, you’re so not involved, definitely, Alex, not like you’re gonna get pulled straight into this or anything

Ernesto is just watching to see how things play out, Kai is... trying to do things the right way, and Alex...

...Alex gives precisely zero fucks. buddy you are so not subtle

right, walking straight into the lion’s den! radiating confidence! terrifying

this is a disturbing level of truth he’s sharing for this lie. I mean, best lies are crafted from truth, but... jeez

hm. so is Alex also a “I don’t like guns” type guy? 

(probably not for the same reasons as Eliot doesn’t [his is definitely more in the “they make it too easy to kill” department whereas I would guess Alex has either more tactical or PTSD reasons], but, hmm. this is something to watch for)

(did they know they were bringing back Leverage when they set up Almost Paradise? I’m genuinely wondering if they didn’t write some Eliot traits into Alex specifically bc they knew Kane missed playing him)

this is a fantastically confident level of grifting--what exactly did he do in the DEA, precisely?

...ah. cool asthetic guy. stuffed in the freezer. gotta admit, I definitely didn’t see that one coming. creepy! 

(and it looks like you actually managed to shake Alex a little, hah)

aaaaaand in the meantime we have Kai following his advice! in an... interesting way. hm. 

(surprisingly this does not annoy me that much in hindsight. not sure why)

and understandably, this does not go over well! except, oh, fuck, DEA guy. this ain’t gonna be good

...worse. worse than I thought. what happened to you, Alex? former partner? whaaat

“attacks”? 

this gonna be the typical “traumatized white dude has Anger Attacks” type thing? 

honestly I immediately went “probably not” given how it was handled in Leverage. wasn’t sure though. but that does leave the question of what sort of attacks? it doesn’t seem like it’d be meltdowns, so what does that leave? 

hmmm. DEA guy is an Ass. we Do Not Like him. I’ve known Alex for less than half an hour but you do not do that to him. you do not use trauma against your guy, Jerkface. 

cutting a deal? this should be interesting

...well shit. I. am sincerely hoping Kai isn’t about to walk in on anything too bad

this definitely isn’t gonna be a fight though, that I called right off the bat

--bottles. dammit

oh, Christ. attempted OD or just drunk?

just drunk! good! well, very Not Good, but better than the other thing

pffffft dunking him in the water and then him going straight back to the water when he sees her, that is both absolutely hilarious and deeply concerning

aaand I’m agreeing with Kai but also, poor guy just got confronted with a hell of a lot of things that would raise his trau--

...mm. yeah. that’d be it. 

...I. was. not expecting that much backstory info straight off. holy cow, Alex. that is. messed up. someone get this man a hug

“one of the guys that cared too much”

(...like you?)

(or is that why you won’t let yourself care now?)

fuck, there was a lot more to that boat scene than I thought. ow

partner who betrayed him like that? I’m just. gods. 

Trust Issues is definitely gonna be a Thing isn’t it

can we just take a second to appreciate how Christian Kane is playing the absolute hell out of this character

aaaand Kai brings him back to the city for a Heartwarming Reminder of why he was in the game! this is very tropey but it is, as John Rogers has pointed out, an instance of the “well-worn writing tool” rather than feeling cheesy! 

holy crap Kai has lost. a lot of people. oh man

ahahahaha classic “why did you bring me here?” line! you know why, Alex. you know why

oh, and Ernesto gets a chance to help him out! I’m already enjoying this so much

awww and Kai shows up to help encourage him! with coffee! supportive friend and very obvious but honestly okay love interest! good!!!

(what the heck is with Devlin and his crew and sticking Kane with two besties? based on Ernesto’s dynamic with him I’m guessing this isn’t gonna be an OT3 but. I am loving the trend)

“I’m gonna regret this in the morning” pfft

huh, working with the DEA agents. not like he’s gonna go off script or anything. that’s totally not gonna happen is it

hehe irritated look while they’re putting on the mic. he is so very unimpressed

--”little episodes”--episodes? 

moment of appreciation for the un-forced-feeling diversity in these police squads

“how’s the anxiety?” I’m sorry what

hold up, when we say “episodes”--are we talking panic attacks? does Alex have actual goddamn anxiety? 

...actually with PTSD? that would make complete sense. I am... intrigued. I am really hoping that that’s the case, actually, because having seen how well they handled Parker and her PTSD in Leverage (as well as Nate’s and Eliot’s) I have a lot of faith that they could pull that off really well, actually. That would be good. 

ppFFFT TAKING OFF THE WIRES RIGHT OFF THE BAT

wait what. you’re telling them everything? what’s your game here? 

“get that frikkin gun outta my face!” yup, not a fan of guns! no disarming though? huh

(also can we just. appreciate how Kane manages to make “frikkin” sound just as much like the cuss it’s replacing?)

(LET ALEX SAY FUCK)

oh. OH

hi Ernesto! hi Kai! I see what y’all doing

ohhhhhhhhhh Alex you goddamn genius. Getting rid of all of the drugs so there’s no way the precise thing he was claiming to be doing can happen. I like this

THE MEDITATION COMING ON ON THE RECORDING I CAN’T--OH MY GODS

Alex please tell me you know how to disarm a gun. please. guns are not effective at that distance

OH. OH I DID NOT SEE KAI COMING. 

got ‘em! murder confession, how did I not see that coming? good stuff

Kai can fight! 

KAI CAN FUCKING FIGHT WOW

I am very much appreciating Kai right now

also is that a FLYING KICK from Ernesto?

they better give these people more fight scenes

aaaaand straight into the water, oh god. I’m assuming this was a choice made because Alex is familiar with this territory? ...I do not think I want to know where Alex learned to fight underwater.

(I really really really want to know.) 

how the fuck has your monitor not gone off by now Alex

choking him out underwater, okay, wow 

what size are your lungs? this is long

extra kudos for excellent underwater filming and wow I am hoping the actors actually came up for air

(this is also unreasonably beautiful for a scene where you’re choking out a drug lord. the water is so pretty)

Evil DEA guy (no I am not going to learn his name, he doesn’t deserve it) is gonna be Alex’s Agent Sterling, isn’t he? this should be interesting

heh, police chief is taking his side! good stuff, good stuff

(it is very nice to see Alex getting some people in his corner after knowing what hell the DEA put him through)

Alex has fallen so damn hard for Kai. this is very very adorable actually

awww he’s really getting into fixing up the shop, isn’t he? I’m sincerely looking forward to seeing how he gets this up and going, it really looks like he’s enjoying himself

somehow I am starting to wonder if the cocky “oh yeah I’m opening up a gift shop how exciting huh” thing at the start wasn’t... actually genuine. he... is enjoying this, isn’t he? good. very good

I am unreasonably invested in this man’s wellbeing for one episode in

!!!!!!!!! HE GETS HIS PARADE

AWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW

AWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW

giving him his reason to keep going! yes! yessss

oh Alex you are attached now. you are very attached. good luck my dude and don’t let the trust issues get in the way

this is a good show. this is a heckin awesome show. 

also, side note, it is SO PRETTY

I am just loving loving loving all of the scenery. competence porn AND landscape and city porn. beautiful. perfection. excellent

...that was. much longer than I anticipated oops 

anyway, conclusion: hot damn this is a fun show! I am very excited to keep watching this. Alex officially has my heart, even if he’s a bit of a cocky bastard sometimes. Kane is fucking hilarious. (More reasons to be excited for Redemption!) Kai and Ernesto also have my heart, and I am extremely interested to see their character development. 

Honestly, the beauty is surprising. I didn’t expect to just enjoy how pretty it is. The blues of the ocean, the intense tropical colors, even the run-down gift shop--there’s such a gorgeous aesthetic to it all. If I wasn’t already invested in the characters and plot, I’d be invested for that alone. 

So... I have some thoughts on Alex and the show structure.

He’s obviously very disillusioned. There’s a lot of nods to the idea of war--he’s commonly referring to himself as a soldier, as a veteran, maybe as a casualty. I’m gonna take a totally wild guess here and say this show is going to be focused on the drug issues in the Philippines. (Wow, Synapse, how the heck’d you guess that?) I do find describing the war on drugs as a war, and going into the terminology that comes with it, very appropriate, and I like how this show is actively calling this to attention rather than using it as a convenient plot. They’re actually addressing the issue and discussing its impact. And given how overlooked certain aspects of the impact of the drug war on the Philippines is, this is a good choice, especially in order to alert American viewers to the issue. I’m curious to see how they handle that.

Again, interesting drawing parallels to war, too, and comparing it against the likes of WWI and Vietnam. It really gives that sense of weight to the issue and defines a vital aspect of it: the impact of the war on drugs on the people involved. It emphasizes that the people who are fighting it suffer consequences and PTSD just as a soldier in the field does, and it also emphasizes, with Kai, that it isn’t just the people actively fighting who bear the consequences. It’s also the people on the sidelines--it’s the families, the people on the streets by the gunfights, the economical impact, etcetera. 

But there’s also an element to Alex’s character that automatically makes him relatable to a lot of people... and it has nothing to do with the PTSD, nothing to do with the war on drugs, nothing really to do with the main issues. It is, simply, the intense hopelessness and depression that comes with trying to make a difference. In his case it’s making a difference on a severe worldwide issue. But the vast majority, if not all, of Almost Paradise’s audience should be able to relate to a feeling of never doing enough. And there’s certainly a large section of that group who can relate to being part of a fight that never seems to end. Doesn’t matter what you’re doing--if it’s driven at helping, it rarely ever feels like you ever do enough. But the advice given is excellent. One of the best things to do, when you’re feeling hopeless over this, is to focus on and take deep joy in the impact you do make. 

Alex is an expression of a frustration that a lot of people deal with. This, I think, is one of the reasons why he instantly drew me--and presumably the rest of the audience--in (outside of a fantastic actor and great humor). He’s relatable. He’s something that most people can see a part of themselves in. 

Anyway, symbolism and real-world talk aside, this is just... fun. It’s genuine fun. We’re covering rough issues, but there’s a lot of well-written tropes in here too that are written in that way that makes them enjoyable to relive rather than painful. The humor is delightful and plentiful. There’s a lot of beautiful feel-good moments. I’m suspecting this’ll be a comfort show, and I am perfectly all right with that. 

Onto the next episode!

[jising-jisang-jisung]

I Believe | Park Jisung

Genre: floof, little smidge of angst

Word count: 2k

A/n: another part of the jb song series that I really liked writing!! I hope yall like it even tho it is a tad rushed and maybe corny 😔✊

Based off this jonas brothers song

You stood outside the door to the dorm of the boy you liked. He had asked you to come over and study with him for your chemistry exam. Finally, you worked up the courage to knock, but as you raised your fist, the door opened revealing a shorter boy with dyed orange hair. He exclaimed in an unhumanly loud voice, "Jisungie! Your girlfriend is here!"

You were quick to correct him, "I'm not actually his girlfriend." Your voice only came out in a whisper as the boy looked you up and down.

"I know that. I just like to tease him. Hi! I'm Chenle!"

"Nice to meet you. I'm y/n." You were able to project your voice this time, just enough to be audible for the orange haired kid.

"Aish, Chenle, quit bothering y/n! We are here to study, not talk to you. And don't you need to get to your class?" Jisung piped up from behind Chenle.

"Oh yeah! Thanks for reminding me. See you again, y/n!" And with the last statement, he added a wink.

Jisung welcomed you into his dorm, pulling out his chemistry notes and books. You two studied for a while, laughing at the dumb mistakes you both made in each problem. "Jisung, you're so stupid. Glucose is C6H12O6."

"I know that. I'm just testing you to make sure you know that."

This went on like that for a while, Jisung's face slowly growing more flushed by each passing second. You're not sure when you got into the current situation or how. You're sitting on the couch next to Jisung, watching a drama. He was so focused on the show. You noticed the small pout on his lips and the small freckle just outside of them that enhanced the cuteness tenfold. You didn't realize how long you had been staring at him until he turned to face you. "Y/n, it makes me really nervous when you look at me like that," he admits.

"Oh, uh-" you stuttered, trying to explain yourself, but in the end, all you could squeak out was a small, "sorry."

"How would you feel if a really pretty girl kept looking at you?" He puts his hand to his mouth, mentally cursing himself for calling you pretty.

"Pretty?" You nervous laugh. "Sorry, it's just, I think you're really handsome." You're pretty sure that you just died saying that.

Jisung's face had never been redder in his life. He kept opening his mouth to speak but couldn't get out a sound. How is it that you fell for a boy who is shyer than you? Probably because he is really cute and sweet and one time you heard his laugh in chemistry class and it was the cutest thing you'd ever heard. "I like you!" You burst out, unable to contain your thoughts any longer. Ordinarily you were a very pensive person, carefully calculating everything you say and do. You don't know what compelled you to blurt out this confession in the spur of the moment. Perhaps it was the look on the boy's face sitting next to you.

He took several deep breaths and closed his eyes before turning to you. "I like you too. A lot actually."

"Finally!" You hear a familiar, loud voice announce from behind you.

"Chenle?! How long have you been sitting there?"

"Since you were staring at y/n before she was staring at you. It took you guys a lot longer than I expected to finally confess."

"And that means you owe me 10 bucks," another boy calls out from behind Chenle.

"Are they all here?" Jisung asks timidly.

"Yep!" Yet another boy confirms.

~that was how you scored Jisung as your boyfriend~

By now you've gotten to know almost all of Jisung's friends. They have an interesting relationship because there are several that are just older than him, but then older boys who act as parental figures. So far you've only been introduced to his peers. You don't know if you'll ever understand how it all works. Nevertheless, you befriend some of them as well.

Dolphin Lele: hey y/n! Wanna go get ice cream?

You: ofc! I'm already omw

Often times this makes Jisung a little jealous which is just a plus. He always looks extra adorable when he has his jealous pout.

"Y/nnnnnn," he dragged out your name cutely. "Why do always hang out with Chenle without me?"

"Sorry, Jisungie, we just went to get ice cream. Here!" You pecked him on the lips, effectively transferring some of the flavor of the treat you had earlier.

"Hmmm. Okay! I forgive you!" His smile made you feel so warm like nothing else could. Though, you were still to shy to tell him any of that yet.

~

You stood outside Jisung's dorm after he texted you to come over. From inside you could hear the voice of someone scolding him. "Jisung, don't you think you're a little young to be in a serious relationship like this?"

"I know I'm young, hyung, but that doesn't make my love any less strong," Jisung defended.

"You don't even know what love is! Just forget about y/n and focus on your work, okay?"

You had leaned up against the door to listen when you noticed the talking stopped. You jolted forward, uncontrollably as the door was swung open. "You must be y/n," the voice said. "You should really stop distracting Jisung from his job. He has work to do you know. You guys are too young to fully understand emotions anyway, so give it a rest will you?" The tall man smiled down at you in a belittling manner. He walked past you, revealing a watery eyed Jisung standing still, his only movements being the rise and fall of breathing. You could tell he was trying his best not to get upset. Tears began to well up in your eyes too. You were the cause of Jisung's scolding. Before he could see you, you took off out of the dorm as fast as your little legs could carry you. Through your blurry vision, you took out your phone to text him but ran into someone first. "Sorry, I wasn't looking."

"Y/n?" You heard Chenle's voice. "What's wrong?"

"Tell Jisung it's over. I'm leaving." The words were so painful to say. Your heart was being torn apart. If you continued to see the boy, he would continue to receive backlash from his hyungs, but it also killed you to leave him.

"What?! Y/n, what do you mean?" Chenle turned to go after you, but you were already gone.

~

[5:37 pm]

Baby chick 💚: y/n, where are you? Chenle just told me something's wrong.

[read 5:38 pm]

Baby Chick 💚: y/n pls respond!! I need to know you are okay TT

You: I'm safe if that's what you mean. You shouldn't contact me anymore. I'm sorry.

With that, you blocked Jisung's number. You sat alone in your dark room, all the shades closed to further enhance your sad vibes. You even went as far as to turn on your sad hours playlist and wrapped yourself in a fluffy comforter on your bed. That was the last thing you remember before you cried yourself to sleep that night.

~

You woke up to the nonstop noise coming from your phone. 23 missed texts from Jaemin, 11 missed calls from Chenle, and 7 missed texts from Renjun. That's when you realized you forgot to block all of Jisung's friends' numbers to. Oh well, there's nothing you can do about that now.

You slowly got out of bed and shuffled to your kitchen in search of some comfort food. Moving unhumanly slow, you found a carton of Jisung's favorite ice cream. You put it back in the freezer and settled for some shredded cheese.

You were most of the way back up to your room when you heard a knock at your door. However, you decided not to answer it. For some reason, you weren't particularly in the mood to talk to anyone. But the knocks didn't stop.

"Y/N! YOU BETTER OPEN YOUR DOOR RIGHT NOW OR I WILL BUST IT DOWN!!" Chenle's loud voice rang through your home. "I'M GONNA COUNT TO 3!" he added. "1!" You really didn't plan on moving from where you were until... "2!" you realized the door wasn't locked. "Th-"

And before Chenle could finish, Jaemin walked right in. "Thank you for that Lele, but the door was not locked." You felt a tinge of pity for Chenle because his heart was so big but he was also kinda dense. "Y/n, come on. We have somewhere to go."

"I'm not going anywhere. You guys should leave," you retorted, somewhat harshly.

"Then, please just answer your texts from Jisung."

"I can't," your voice was weak again. Much more faint than when you first met the boys because now it was almost pathetic.

"Well, then we'll have to take you."

"What?!"

Behind Jaemin followed some of Jisung's other friends, Renjun and Jeno. They each grabbed your arms, gently pulling you. "Hey, what do you think you're doing? You can't just kidnap me!" But the boys didn't let up at your protest. "Fine. I'll go," you huff. "But at least let me get changed out of my pjs first."

~

"No. Why are you guys taking me to the dorm? I don't want to see him."

"Cmon y/n," Chenle pleads. "He is not talking to any of us. He won't even leave his room."

Hearing about the boy you love's condition just makes you feel even worse. Nonetheless, you couldn't just abandon him. "Okay. I'll try to talk to him. But just so you know, if he gets more hurt by this, I will never talk to any of you again." You threaten the group, but none of them seem the slightest bit worried.

You knock quietly on his door. When there was no response, you weren't even sure he'd heard you. So, you knocked again only slightly louder.

"I already told you, Jaemin, go away. I'm not coming out right now." Despite his angry tone, you could hear the sadness in his voice.

"It's not Jaemin," you manage to whisper out. The door opened immediately to reveal a disheveled Jisung with puffy eyes.

"Y/n? What are you doing here? I-" he was cut off by you hugging him.

"I'm so sorry, Jisung. I saw you get yelled at and I even got told off, myself, and I thought I was doing the right thing by leaving you but now i realize that all I did was hurt you and-" it was his turn to cut you off. He kissed you softly as tears fell down both of your faces.

"It doesn't matter anymore, now I got you here with me. Nothing matters any longer, now I got you here with me."

"Still, you got in trouble because of me."

"Don't worry. Johnny didn't bother me."

"Don't try to be cool, Jisung, I saw you almost cry afterwards." You heard him gulp loudly. "So why didn't you listen to him?"

"'Cause you show me something I can't live without." He whispered in hushed tones, "I love you."

"I love you too," you choked out between sobs. "But what will the others say."

"Yeah, I know what they say, and that's fine. 'Cause I'm here to stay, through the good and the bad times."

People call you crazy and say you're moving too fast but none of that matters to you two. Who cares if youre still teenagers? You still love each other with all your hearts. And if someday you do fall apart, such is life. But for now, anyway, all you need is Jisung by your side and vice versa.

[neo-shitty]

toffee!

no dont apologise! i didnt check until just then so np :)

mmm yeah it is a bit trippy. hehe ITS TRUE THO. yeah sadly i think ur right, and tag blocking is probably a good idea. sometimes smut written well or not in excess is okay but goddamn when its abt 01 line and thats the whole fic... *silently blocks tags*

hehe i do that all the time lol this conversation is carrying on threads from a month ago :) mmm yeah ur probably right sadly, same. HA HE DIDNT HAVE A CHOICE and now i have someone to talk to abt them, so thats good! I KNOW felix was actually the one who got me into skz with his iconique gods menu line so i guess i have a soft spot for him. i always tell myself my bias is chan but ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ guess im more whipped than id like to admit. mmm yeah that does make sense dw i hope they do that as well. YES king seungmin hIMSELF. GODDAMNIT DONT GET ME STARTED ON MINHO IN GODS MENU I DIDNT EVEN KNOW HE WAS PART OF THE GROUP UNTIL I STARTED GETTING MORE INTO THEM. BITCH (affectionate) THE LINE DISTRIBUTION HAS BEEN UTTER DOG SHIT but *deep breath* its better now so were moving on adn hoping it stays that way. sis same but i may or may not have gone thru a rlly depressed phase and actively sought out the elimination episodes so i could actually force some tears out of my emotionless shell of a heart but what cna you do? lmaoo i feel that irl, binnie deserves more vocal lines. yesss channies accent is rlly prominent then, i think also the way he structures his phrasing? is more english speaking than korean? but yeah i totally get what ur saying. AJKSAL lmao

okay then! im excited for whenever it gets done! (maybe tag me?) ahh the cold shrivelled heart of a dark au writer beats again at the thought of torturing another poor characters very soul (/j) :(( yeah that would suck not being able to see them. ohhh ur on the other hemisphere to me! were just going into spring rn. mmm smth to look forward to! YES you put it into words. they rlly are pretty independent from the company (remember how jyp rejected that other dudes songs after like 3 seconds and then how he was apparently nervous to show the song hed written to chan cos chan was so good at writing hits ahhh sweet revenge) mmmYES we rlly need a mute and remove notifications button for our brains dont we?

YES CORRECT i totally agree. some people jsut dont give it a try, adn assume its bad cos its korean smh racist assholes. yes! im coming up to my 6 month anniv actually! sis sAME, i feel like theyre being tugged into appealing to the western american market and theyre not staying as true to their artistic flair as a group, especially with only writing english songs atm. *sigh* ah well, at least theyre bringing recognition to the kpop world. AHUH dead on, theyre going to be discarded pretty soon and then where will bp be? theyll prob go solo paths which is rlly sad but what can you do when the company is run by a prideful asshole? yg is not going to last much longer in the big four if they keep this up.

hehe you get it. oooh very cool! whos ur ult? (sorry if youve said this before) mmmm yeah good decision, i feel liek thats probably a wise decision. this is my first album release as a kpop stan (not counting mixtape oh) so i think ill get it for sentiments sake. yeah! im excited for the new music! mingi was the one who got me into them, but atm my bias is seonghwa followed by san, wooyoung and ateez but jonghos high notes man *swoon* he, yeah atm ive got jake, jay, nikki, jungwon and sunoo down so just trying to get the rest :) heh, yeah kard i rlly only got into cos of bm, ive seen him like interacting with a lot of idols and he seemed nice so i decided to check out the group. ikr gunshot man *another swoon*

no noe! i didnt know what it was until i got it lol. thx toffee ill try and take that to mind :) yeah lol im on a waiting list thats not going to be free until late september so hopefully i can hold on until then. hope ur okay, that sounds like it sucks, hope you can find someone. maybe ill just take you along on my phone and the therapist can get a two for one patient deal lmaooo. mmm, sorry no i havent mentioned it before, i dont rlly talk abt it much. uhhh basically hypermobility? if you google it, it doesnt seem bad, jsut joint flexibility but ive got the severe end of the stick, leaning towards ehlers danlos syndrome so thats fun. basically it just makes it hard for me to exercise, run, jump, stand or just walk for long periods of time and gives me a lot of joint and muscle pain so... thats fun! but obviously so many other people have it worse than me, so i try not to complain. normally in young people it will improve as they get older, but my doctor said bc its severe in me, its unlikely to get much better. but again, i dont have the worst lot in the bunch, so its all g.

oh its good that its not the bad type of rain, a light sprinkling can be relaxing sometimes. aww thx darl, the concern is appreciated but it went pretty well and i managed not to cough too much on stage or kill myself trying to run around to the other side of the stage in the pouring rain so thats good! oooh tea buddies! my dogs a labradoodle, but shes a bit more of a feral poodle lol not much labrador in her at all, unless its her relentless urge to hunt down every bird that has ever walked this earth smh :((( hopefully they can come back on soon, does uni have dances?

ahhh a mood if i ever heard one. hopefully things will get better for you soon, ik anxiety sucks ass. ooh thats always good! when its sunny here, its always melt ur thongs to the pavement hot so the nicely cool sunny days are a lovely change. hehe impatience is not so good for you, but good for us that get to see ur beautiful theme early. ahh no worries, itll come eventually hopefully. and if not, then just things that make you not anxious are good. it doesnt have to be black or white, sometimes gray is good. mmmmm sames i have midterms this week to catch up on and then two weeks of end of terms so thats fun! i hope u can overcome that a little, heres some channie to be ur motivation https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=a8LWyNjzOww. hah! i hear that all the time, he seems to be everywhere. did you see that tiktok of hans slowed back door rap, i stg it sounded EXACTLY like namjoon, it kinda scared me. also teh beginning of another day, sounds so much like joon i swear.

that reminds me! idk ur biases! i feel like this should be smth i should know so please! feel free to elaborate!

ahh im glad, i was worried it is. mmm same, so no hard feelings if either of us misses a day or smth. ill start worrying if weeks/months have gone by, but if its just a little while thats more than fine. ill just picture you studiously completing notes and i wont worry lol

<3 w.a. 🐺

at some point i really think i'm going to start blocking accounts because blocking tags won't be enough. i saw ask tags the other day and it just made me want to bleach my eyeballs.

i could talk about god's menu felix for hours man. the teaser for god's menu that featured his part on the bridge made me look forward to the mv release. you: biases chan, also you: lixiesbabyhands. yes you are more whipped than you think. i can't believe orange haired minho was given NOTHING during that era but they kind of made up for it in the b-sides. i also hope it stays that way. the distribution for this era was pretty fair.

"torturing another poor character's soul" in all honesty, i used to live for this. 2017 me leading up to early 2020 wrote nothing but angst. i have another aussie friend on twt and tbh i'm still really (O.o) about the seasons! jyp should be terrified skz could easily take over that company. heck if skz grow old and start their own company, they'd probably do a great job at running it. PLEASE. i have issues on muting/notifications both mentally and in real life. sometimes, i just wish to disappear.

some people in my country are just disgusting tbh. not only racist but homophobic too. they label kpop as 'gay' and it DISGUSTS me. it's a problematic behavior/mindset people in my country need to fucking get rid of. anyway, HELP ME 6 MONTHS??? and i've been in this shit for like a decade eye. tbh, i’m not fond of kpop groups trying to appeal to the western audience :// it feels like they’re losing their identity in a way. yes recognition but at what cost? yg has my favorite groups but that’s one shitty company when it comes to promoting.

okay my ult! it’s haechan from nct but i consider chan an ult too. like a close second above my whopping list of kpop boys. oh yes! you should get the album just for like a keepsake? remembrance? how did mingi appeal to you? omg did you start getting interested in ateez back when he was still on hiatus? NOT YOU BIASING THE SAME PEOPLE I DID WHEN I FIRST STARTED STANNING. the infamous ateez thot-line. jongho is easily one of the best fourth gen vocalists out here, no one can change my mind :( good luck with memorizing the rest of enhypen! just in time for the comeback too. i hope i’ll get into kard soon but i’m pretty content (and a tad bit overwhelmed) with the amount of groups i stan right now.

please hold on though, feel free to vent here if you like. thanks for the offer tho HAHA but like i’ll try to get checked here too when the cases die down a bit. i’m sorry to hear about your condition though :( please don’t ever overwork yourself to the point that your joints/muscles would ache. it’s completely valid to complain about it tho. i get that you have others in mind but keeping that mindset really doesn’t do you (like you internally) any better? so if you need to, vent your frustrations out and don’t keep it in.

oh my god, about your performance last sunday. was the stage out in the open? glad you didn’t cough too much and did well on your concert. i’m proud of you! i can never understand dogs and poor birds T_T uni doesn’t have dances unfortunately. i think there’s just one party at the end like a graduation ball. what year are you in anyway? if it’s something that you’re fine with sharing. if not, it’s cool.

good luck with your exams! and thanks for the link! AHA what a cutie. i think he does this motivation thing once in a while during his lives and it’s just comforting. yeah joon and han my irl just freaked when we made that discovery. ult crumbs for her. oh god not me forgetting about every biases when you asked. you can ask for my biases in a few groups just list down the one’s you’re interested in knowing. 

i missed yesterday because i was grinding and finishing what if we stay + school work. finally did it today. i’m sure i’ll reply in like a day or two, definitely not a month unless i state otherwise. if i ever decide to abandon this blog, i’ll let you know.

[goldenscript]

badboy!yuto

adachi yuto, japanese exchange student and baseball player extraordinaire

his pitch is insane,,, latest record was 89.5 mph but he might’ve upped it (he did and he’s still aiming to surpass the best recorded speed of 105.1) since the school’s newspaper last interviewed him,,, nervously

he may be a well-known around school for being one of the top-ranking baseball players but he’s actually really intimidating 

equipped with a brooding look and an almost always resting bitch face a lot of people find him,,,, hard to approach and he likes that

being in a new country is tough - getting to know the language and the customs is like being a little kid in elementary school and it’s because of this very reason that he really hates people trying to belittle him or look down on him

it certainly doesn’t help that just by going there has made other people treat him like an actual child but if there’s yet another thing about yuto then it’s the fact that he has this need to prove others wrong about him

there was a kid in like fifth grade who totally ragged on him,, really made yuto feel like he wouldn’t amount to anything especially in baseball and ok sure he was a pretty scrawny kid at the time, a bit of a late bloomer in the puberty department but y’know everyone matures at their own pace physically and mentally

and anyway, it’s this very kid that has just driven yuto to do the very best that he can even if that means overworking himself and only really putting baseball first

because of that, his grades are pretty mediocre which is funny because he just about calculates and figure just how much he can get away with slacking over just to do the bare minimum

it works though,,, his teachers can’t complain since he is putting in effort and his coaches don’t mind so long as he’s getting the required gpa and coming to practice (which he does almost religiously)

and it’s just really remarkable that this sole drive just to prove someone wrong and get back at them for really doubting him drives him that much

his life has always been shrouded in doubt and insecurity and lots of belittlement and out of everything,,, baseball has always offered some kind of comfort to him

he’ll just stand on that field, whether it’s turf or actual grass, and finds peace in all the screaming because the moment he takes his pitcher’s stance it’s like there’s this silence and everything goes still even during his wind-up and suddenly all this power is thrown into a measly pitch and it has people roaring over him

they didn’t care if he was too foreign or too scrawny or too whatever, they were there and they appreciated his skill and i think that’s all he’s ever really wanted as he grew up into the man he is now

instead of sticking to japan, he decided to take up a full-ride scholarship to south korea and when they announced that at the sports banquet he couldn’t help but feel this swell of pride even if that one kid couldn’t see it happen

it’s a rare sight but it made him smile that day because for once he was acknowledged y’know?

anyway, coming to south korea was almost a culture shock (not by a grand scale but enough that it threw him off balance for a while)

it brought on a dry spell for him because he didn’t have friends or anyone to really be there for him to lean on because he was literally alone and not even with someone he could properly communicate with

it was frustrating on the largest scale and it made him feel even more hesitant and angry to deal with anyone other than his roommate, wooseok, who (bless his soul) is a sweetheart and always invites him to hang or play videogames,,,, sometimes he humors the giant

it took time for yuto to get acquainted with the other eight boys in wooseok’s friend circle but it worked out in weird ways

although yuto can’t exactly socialize in a huge gathering, he would spend one on one time with each of them and found comfortable niches with each so he does have a soft spot somewhere behind all his hostility

he won’t admit it a lot either but he’s more of a shower than a teller

but ok, anyway, even tho his first half of the year in south korea has been a huge struggle, he’s used it to push himself athletically and that’s why he’s getting noticed a lot more by others

they’re still intimidated as ever and rumors come flying in all directions about him killing someone with his pitch and none of the students in the journalism club want to interview him for the paper lmao

there was one brave soul but he’s still pretty,,, shaken from yuto’s rbf and you were actually out in this really cool study abroad in japan about tech culture and reported your findings and,,,,

basically you’re literally the only one who hasn’t heard of yuto aka the hardest person to interview on the baseball team so when you heard about a job that no one was willing to take because it was too scary you were just like “LMAO LEMME AT IT”

that and because he piqued your interest

to say the least, you’re pretty made to be in journalism because you refuse to half-ass anything you do and if they want to do a piece on understanding adachi yuto, literally the hottest rising star on the uni’s baseball team, then dammit you’re gonna do it

so, that’s exactly what you do

you go and hunt him down and approach his coach about interviewing him whenever there’s free time because you’re respectful like that y’know and when the older man grins at you and gives you the ok, you approach him on the bench and kindly talk to him about doing an interview

that alone throws him off because 1) you’re not scared of him??? usually just approaching him is nerve wracking for everyone and anyone but here you are just sauntering over like it’s nobody’s business

he just acts like it’s nothing though, coolly saying, “yeah sure whatever - we can do it right now”

“now?” you ask this with some confusion since you usually have some pretty long, extensive interviews just to get a good piece out because that’s how you are - you’re thorough

not many people in the club agree with you since it’s almost like a waste of time to them but neither you nor do the editor care very much because you put out really good stuff

even some of the stuff you wrote in high school are still circulating around as examples of what one should do and your methods too

 you’re not very black and white, you like grey areas and understanding concepts and people especially when they’re misunderstood and yuto is definitely no exception to that

so when he nods and simply says, “i know this won’t take long anyway, so why not right? we shouldn’t waste either of our time”

of course this throws you off,,, but you just nod and start off with some simple questions (to you) like what made him pursue baseball, how much he practices, what are some of his lucky items and pregame ritual habits, and like what are his goals as a player

like i said you’re thorough and even though you said these were simple, yuto was expecting things like “what’s your favorite part of playing baseball?” (pitching, duh) & “is mlb your goal for the future?” they’re pretty basic - during that first interview, he got even simpler things like what was his favorite color and what was his favorite base, and it made him hate that interview,,, significantly

the only redeeming factor of it was how cool they made him sound with his pitching speed record and that’s of course something he prides himself in but it felt so superficial and off,,, he didn’t like it

he didn’t quite feel belittled or anything but it made him disappointed that despite all his hard work,,, no one really cared enough to get to know him ya feel?

it’s silly but part of him working so hard is also for attention and that validation that he never vocally desires

so for you,,, to actually ask him things outside of his pitching speed record and what he plans outside of school and all that,,, is kinda nice

you can tell by the way he loosens up just a tad that he just has really high defenses and it makes you wonder why,, ,like by journalist instincts but genuine curiosity

and you get your answers (”this kid in school,” “four hours minimum a day,” “this keychain my mom gave me” (it’s this little pochacco bc she was like 99.9% certain that he would go into soccer LOL) and “chew hubba bubba gum - the kinda from the roll or it’s a no go, must wear something red SOMEWHERE, and the keychain has to be nearby”, and “surpass 105.1″) not that you’re in any rush because you really do like to get to know the people you’re interviewing

you’re the sort of person that believes in building connections with others - it’s really how one gets a good article and how to thrive in life like although you don’t talk to everyone you know / met on a daily basis you’d like to think that as long as those relationships weren’t superficial during that time you spent with them then it’s worthwhile

so you find all his answers really endearing and kind of cute even though it’s this stoic dude answering all your questions like he has other things to do and ofc you’re not even offended in the slightest because you understand that people get stiff over these things and it feels like people just haven’t been answering him the right questions anyway

but you being you, asks him the one questions he’s actually hoped to hear: “why 105.1?” 

he grins at you, like a genuine one that actually blows you away because his cheekbones are so gloriously prominent and light is just shining in his eyes and honestly if you were a photographer you would’ve really liked to capture this moment but before he can answer his coach is calling him onto the field and he turns to you almost apologetically

but you wave him off with a grin: “guess this means we gotta continue this interview right?” 

a flash of relief washes over his features before he gives you a brief nod, “guess so” 

you have your tape recorder still going, an heirloom of your mom’s because she loved journalism just as much as you do before she had you and in a way you’re fulfilling this dream for the both of you, and instruct him to recite his number for you

he looks a little exasperated but he does it and grumbles a farewell before jogging back onto the field and you go back to your dorm to listen through the interview, wanting to be thorough, and when you get to the part where he recites his number you jot that down with a wide grin

because deep down you really do think yuto is great - you don’t know it with complete certainty but that brief interview was more than enough so you shoot him a text about meeting up on thursday

to which he replies quite quickly in an affirmation

when the two of you meet, it’s at the park by the school’s garden and it’s absolutely beautiful - you know it’s completely unfamiliar to many people because you really have to look so you wind up finding yuto just take him there and he’s kinda flustered about it but it’s cute on him 

you take a moment to turn on your tape recorder and turn to him to ask the question you both left on 

his answer: “it’s the world record for the fastest pitch but i want to have the fastest pitch” 

there’s still a whole round of questions for him to answer and after a good hour of just bantering, you actually find him endearing and funny and really sweet beneath the brooding rbf

and the more he’s with you, the more he wants to open up even if it just for some interview because he feels acknowledged and appreciated 

with you, there’s something different that stirs in his chest - the ease that he felt after getting acquainted with wooseok comes with you but even more so

he really likes the way the gardenias and lilies complement your features, how the sun shines on you two and you bask in it

for reasons beyond him, he’s actually kinda sad that after this he won’t see much of you because there’s still a lot he’d like to know and ask you but between answering your questions and thinking ahead, it’s hard to interject his own considering it’s his interview

and tbh you’re pretty sad about it too but that sort of thing doesn’t hit you until it’s over and you’re playing the tape recording over and suddenly it’s like,,,, well, you want to know more about yuto

so you make a decision

after you’re done with the piece, you hit yuto up and let him read the manuscript and he’s in freakin’ awe because no one has ever really talked about him in the way that you did and he just turns to you and says “thank you” in the most sincerest voice and your heart truly feels like it might fall out of your chest 

you just tell him that “it was my pleasure” because it really was!!

a small moment passes between you two, but wooseok comes in and you two get embarrassed so you excuse yourself to go prepare for the final publishing 

wooseok totally teases yuto btw but one glare from the latter has the former cackling before he goes off into the shower

“you’re so whipped dude”

“shut. up.”

“it’s the truth~~~~~~”

“sleep with one eye open, woo”

when it gets published, everyone is freakin’ amazed ofc and those who read the piece actually get some proper insight on the misunderstood baseball player, and you hand deliver a copy to him because you’re so freakin’ ecstatic and proud because everyone loved it and it looks so great and 

well yuto is really happy and seeing happy is an absolute blessing 

as flustered as he is, he actually expresses a better expression of gratitude and tells you that “no one has ever done something like this for me and i really, truly appreciate it” 

you can feel your heart thudding and your throat closing up because he continues “and honestly, you’ve been on my mind like crazy y/n”

all you can manage is a “why?” but he’s relieved to see blush dusting on your cheeks

“because i want to get to know you and i want to understand you and i-” he whispers the last half: “thinkyou’rereallycute”

you’re almost in shock but you’re too elated tbh and you embarrassingly say, “i think you’re really cute too,,,,” 

so you both spend this impromptu first date wandering the park and going to the campus cafe and just talking but he lets you talk 

 in fact, he wants to know everything about you - why you started journalism and why you decided to take him on and what your favorite color is and what your favorite song is and all those little things that people tend to forget but him? 

he remembers them 

he remembers everything you tell him and he finds it so adorable how your nose scrunches and your features light up and how much you have to say even though you’re usually the one asking the questions

and it just feels so damn good to have someone show interest in you

like yeah sure you’ve made some strong connections and friendships but the way yuto asks you questions and absorbs your answers, even inputting his own feelings, you feel so happy because this isn’t some obligatory “tell me about yourself” it’s a genuine “please tell me more” 

each day you two learn new things about each other too which is really great if you didn’t realize just how mischievous he is 

LOL like it seems to be a hidden personality trait of his but you’ve come to find that being with yuto has become a series of getting soft pranked or just watching others get hardcore pranked and it’s kinda funny

you really wouldn’t expect it from him but the way he softly pranks you is just too adorable for you to get upset with

like well, the first time he ever told you he loved you, he steals your tape recorder from you - not really steal it but one minute it’s on your desk and another it’s in his hands and he’s fumbling with it but he manages to record over the blank tape and goes “y/n, did you know you’re an amazing person?” 

you can’t help but laugh because he has one of those sports newscaster voice and feigned serious face as he holds the tape recorder out to you in wait of an answer so you just shake your head “no sir, i did not” 

he grins, “well, did you know that i, adachi yuto, love you for being the amazing person you are?” 

and even though his cheeks are so blatantly red and yours are too, you’re stunned 

“i-i did not know that,,,,” and you lean in close and place your hand over his on the recorder and say, “but did you know that i, l/n y/n, love you too?” 

and he just pulls you into the sweetest kiss because he just feels so goddamn happy with you, so content, and most of all, so understood

the rest of the boys are really grateful for you because as comfortable as yuto has been with them, you’ve made it much easier for him and his transition because of the article

a lot of the time, people will come up to him and talk about his stats and baseball which he’s actually happy to converse about 

or even those people that kind of judged him at first, they’re not so,,,,, prejudiced y’know?

they have such a great insight on him as a player and it really is because of all the things you put into that article and you’re so damn proud of it

when you get thanked and welcomed into the group, they adore you man

they love how you aren’t afraid to tease yuto or go along with his playful antics and they love that you bring out this undeniably soft side to him that makes even wooseok go “awwww, my roomie has a heart~~” which is of course replied to with a glare that has even you giggling because that’s just how yuto is

like he’s still pretty intimidating looking but most of the school doesn’t think that as badly - it’s usually people on the street in the city

though there were a few people to stop you two because y’all just looked like The Aesthetic couple and it left you both really flustered 

even as you both continue on in your relationship, there are moments where you just fluster each other because y’all just so damn cute and neither of you two can take it

but it works - everything between you just works and it’s kinda perfect in an odd little way 

sometimes you bicker when he gets a little tsundere with you or if he pranks you a little too much (like hides your stuffed pochacco he won you at the fair very unfairly - poor milk bottle worker LOL) 

in the end, you’ll both apologize because you’re both that hyperaware of your actions and you’re both very accepting too 

you can pick up on things that he doesn’t realize and somehow he can do the same with you - with each other, it’s just.... right 

you understand him and he understands you, and honestly, neither of you could ask for anything better than that~~~~

(also lemme just say that on one of your gifts to him was a badtz maru charm for his bat or anything really because it reminded you of him and how pouty he got but literally everyone agreed)

(he hung it btw and it’s considered his lucky charm because he got his pitching speed up to 95.6 mph!!!!!!!!)