#a sudden case of christmas
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Christmas Movies & Specials for November 19, 2024
#home video#physical media#a christmas carol#hallmark#feather christmas#friends and family christmas#gingersnap christmas#letters to santa#my christmas guide#strawberry shortcake#saving christmas#sealed with a list#a sudden case of christmas#thomas & friends#hallmark christmas movies#dvd#cover art#christmas movies
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@wilmervalderrama - ‘A Sudden Case of Christmas’ out this November 8th. The magic is real on this one..
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The greatest gift
it's the most wonderful time of the year as they like to say so how about you recieve the best gift from santa on top of that 😈
this is suggestive perhaps??
Characters featured: mikey, hanma, baji, mitsuya
₊˚⊹♡ Mikey
You were joking when you asked for "Mikey" for christmas. You thought Hina and Emma knew you were joking.
So why the hell was Mikey currently tied up with a christmas ribbon and sitting under the christmas tree in your house, staring back at you with a slight smile?
"Merry christmas."
"I- HUH?!" you quickly covered your mouth, not wanting to be too loud at midnight. "Mikey, why are you in my house?" you whisper yelled.
"Emma and Hina jumped me." was his comically simple response. Well, it would be comically simple if Mikey didn't scare the living crap out of you just a few moments ago.
"That- That doesn't explain anything!" at this point, you've given up with trying to be quiet.
"I can't tell you anything more. I have no idea what's happening either."
"How are you so calm about this anyways?" you walked closer to him, inspecting the tag on the ribbon that said "Merry christmas from Emma and Hina".
"Now that I think of it, it is pretty weird to be kidnapped by your sister."
You're not even going to ask how they managed to get him in here without the keys.
"Well, uhhh... how about I unwrap you...?" you offered awkwardly after a small silence.
"Are you sure you want to do that? You'll unleash the true present by doing that." something... strange flashed behind his dark eyes.
"...What's that supposed to mean?"
"Oh, nothing. ♡"
₊˚⊹♡ Hanma
"Merry christmas. ♡" you froze at the sound of his voice.
You were woken up by some weird noise downstairs, quietly walking down to investigate the source. You even took a knife from the kitchen just in case.
But instead of a robber or kidnapper, what you found was Hanma Shuji tied up in a big red ribbon. Smiling at you.
"Don't you merry christmas me." you didn't know what to say or do. You were scared out of your mind just now and that combined with the strange sight in front of you made you at a loss of... anything, really.
"Woah, that's a big knife... What were you going to do with that?˜" he sounded more amused than anything.
"You little... I don't... What is even happening?" you dropped the knife on the ground.
"Someone told me that you want 'Hanma Shuji' for christmas."
"Well, you know what I thought I was going to get for christmas? Kidnapped, that's what!" you yelled, not even caring about how loud you are right now.
"Hahahah, how amusing!" he laughed, seeming very satisfied.
"You won't be saying that after the things I will do to you. You know you can't escape when you're tied up, right?" a smirk crossed your face suddenly. A sense of boldness overtook you.
"Oooh, aren't you bold. ♡" his smile only widened.
₊˚⊹♡ Baji
"No way." you had to do a double take when you saw what you thought you saw.
Turns out this christmas is more interesting than you thought it would be. A present from Toman ended up being Baji Keisuke in the flesh.
"Mmmf!" he's probably telling you to free him right now, which admittedly, is hard to do when your mouth is gagged.
"Wow, this is like, the best present I ever got. I gotta thank the boys later." you walked closer to him, kneeling down and inspecting him in all his tied up glory.
Baji looked half angry half embarrased, and honestly that just made you want to tease him more. You kissed his cheek, smiling cheekily.
"Hmmf..." you laughed a little at his face.
"Mmmf! Hmmm!"
"Okay, okay, I get it, I'll let you out. But that doesn't mean that I'm done with you just yet." you smiled, taking the bow of the ribbon into your hands to untie it.
"Mmm..?!"
₊˚⊹♡ Mitsuya
"Me and Mana have a surprise for you." Luna ran up to you all of a sudden.
"What is it?" you placed your hands on your knees to get closer to Luna's height.
"Wait till christmas." that was Luna's only response before running off to continue playing with Mana.
"Hmmm..." you hummed, a bit confused.
.
"Was this... Luna and Mana's gift?" you looked at the comically large christmas present under the tree. What in the world did those two give you?
You carefully removed the lid of the box, worried about the contents. Only to find Mitsuya inside.
"I- What the hell?" Luna and Mana sure are some evil children.
"I don't know either. Hakkai approached me just now and said "sorry" before wrapping me up and putting me in this box with no further explanation." his eyes never left yours.
"I think I know who's idea this was..." you stepped inside the box, sitting directly across from him. He raised an eyebrow.
"Your little sisters told me something about a surprise for christmas..."
"Oh my god. That explains... a lot." he looked as if he just made a big realisation. You couldn't help but laugh a little at the sight.
You pecked his lips all of a sudden, making him jump slightly. "Tell them thank you later."
"Shouldn't you be thanking them?" he smiled.
"No, I'm sure you'll be the one thanking them tommorow." His eyes widened at your mischevious smirk.
an early christmas present for my mikey, hanma, baji and mitsuya babes 💕
i want to make sure yall are well fed with that christmas dinner this year
#˗ˏˋ ★ ♡ 「Wolfie’s other works」 ♡ ★ ˎˊ˗#tokyo rev x reader#tokyo revengers x you#tokyo revengers x reader#tokyo revengers#tokyo rev x you#mikey x y/n#mikey x reader#mikey x you#sano manjiro x reader#hanma x reader#hanma shuuji x reader#hanma x you#baji x you#baji keisuke x reader#baji x reader#mitsuya takashi x reader#mitsuya x you#mitsuya x reader#mitsuya x y/n#baji x y/n#hanma shuji
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Better for you
Spencer spends the change of year with a new resolution as he starts looking at his rival differently.
(THIS CAN BE READ AS A STANDALONE BUT IS TECHNICALLY A THIRD PART FOR LOSE CONTROL AND THE LAST LAUGH)
words: 4.6k Category: fluff (surprisingly this is not my usual NSFW work) warnings: kissing, suggestive content a/n: I’m killing two birds with one stone here. One, I caved in and did another part for this rival couple. And two, I wrote this as a participation in @imagining-in-the-margins office party writing challenge🥳 Here are the prompts: 1. The team hardly believes it when Character A agrees to dance with B. 2. “I just never saw you as a... party type of person."
WAS A PARTY SUPPOSED TO BE THIS BORING? A subtle sigh escaped her lips as she glanced around the backyard. When Rossi invited the team to gather around at his house in celebration of the new year, everybody was on board.
"Who would say no to a David Rossi party?" JJ had said, which led her to bring her family along the occasion. Even Simmons brought his wife and five little kids. And now Rossi’s place never looked so alive with this many people, it seemed that everyone was present at this joyful soirée.
Everyone but one person, that is.
She turned her attention back to the drink in her hand, leaning against the open bar Rossi had set up, her mind drifting towards a certain man. It wasn't like she was keeping tabs on him. Really, she wasn't. It just happened that his absence became surprisingly noticeable when he decided to take some time off work to visit his mom, even days before Christmas break.
How long had it been since the last time she saw him? Two weeks? Three? It seemed like a considerable amount of time had passed since she saw was forced to work with him, which happened during the case in a remote town. And despite successfully apprehending the Unsub days later, her resistance to temptation, unfortunately, wasn't as successful.
It was hard not to think of what happened during the travel when it kept playing in her mind like a broken record. It was as if the memories were engraved in her brain—his slick, sweaty body pressing against hers; his soft lips caressing her skin; his large hands roaming her curves, traveling to places that had her hot and wet—
What the hell was wrong with her?
She took a sip of her drink—or more like chugging it down—trying to test if the burning sensation could wash away her filthy mind.
"Whoa," a sudden voice broke through her haze and she looked up to find Luke standing close to her. "Easy there."
His easygoing grin met her gaze as he gestured toward her almost empty glass. She shrugged, aiming the glass toward him in a mock toast. "Just trying to enjoy the party."
"Yeah?" He chuckled, leaning against the bar.
She shot him a sideways glance. "What's it to you, Alvez?"
His grin widened. "Well, when someone's drinking like they're on a mission, it catches my attention. Everything okay?"
She hesitated for a moment before responding, her tone calm. "I'm just getting into the party spirit, you know?"
Luke raised an eyebrow, his playful demeanor unwavering. "Is that so? Or are you trying to drown out some thoughts?"
She scoffed. "Thoughts? What thoughts?"
"The kind that makes you chug down your drink."
"You're imagining things. I'm simply enjoying this..." Her eyes scanned the party, trying to find a word describing the ongoing festive. "...ambiance."
"Alone by the table full of alcohol?"
"Well, someone's got to keep an eye on these drinks from disappearing too quickly."
"Hmm," He responded. "It kind of seems like you're waiting for someone to join the party."
Her cheeks warmed slightly, and she scoffed again. "I know who you're referring to, and no, I am not waiting for anyone."
He leaned in, the mischief in his eyes unwavering. "So, you're telling me that if Reid walked in right now, you wouldn't do a happy dance?"
"Please, there would be no happy dance," she said, rolling her eyes. "Just a casual acknowledgment, maybe."
"Casual acknowledgment? You're going with that?" His grin widened, his teasing persistence unyielding. "There's nothing casual about you two."
"If you mean hating each other's gut, then sure, there is nothing casual about Reid and me."
"He doesn't hate you, you know." She gave him a deadpanned look, her skepticism evident in her arched brow. Luke laughed. "Fine, he disliked the idea of having another prodigy on the team. When he got out of prison, he felt like you were his replacement."
She frowned. "I kind of was. Emily wanted someone to fill in for his absence while he was away."
Luke raised an eyebrow, his expression turning thoughtful. "True, but I think you're starting to grow on him." She shook her head, trying to brush off the comment. "I'm serious, I think you made an impression."
Her skepticism lingered as she fully turned towards him, pointing a finger at him. "So you’re telling me every time he tried to pick a fight he was actually impressed by my intelligence?"
"Well, Reid's got this... unique way of expressing himself, but trust me, he respects you."
She raised an eyebrow. "Now you're just pushing it."
"There's got to be something more than what you're letting on. He's not exactly subtle, you know."
She leaned back slightly, trying to maintain composure. "You're reading too much into it. Reid and I have..." a complicated dynamic between coworkers who hate each other but had sex twice—well, three, including that one time in the shower. "...a professional relationship," she decided to say.
His grin widened. "Professional? I've seen the way you two spar during cases."
She huffed. "It's just our way of solving problems. It doesn't mean anything more."
Luke's expression turned thoughtful. "I've worked with him for a while, and he usually doesn't go back and forth with people in smart talk. There must be something about you that intrigues him."
"Or irritates him," she added dryly. "You're giving him too much credit."
"Maybe," he admitted with a laugh. "But I don’t know, he might surprise you one of these days."
She shot him a skeptical glance. "I highly doubt that."
"Yeah?" He suddenly looked past her, a sly grin forming. "Then maybe should find out for yourself."
Confused, she turned around to see what had caught his attention…. And time seemed to slow as her eyes widened in surprise when she spotted Spencer entering the party, a casual smile on his face as he greeted everyone. For a moment, their eyes locked, and despite her attempts to remain nonchalant, a subtle flutter danced in her chest.
She quickly looked away, her attempt to maintain composure falling apart.
"See what I mean?" Luke's voice broke through her thoughts.
She rolled her eyes, trying to deflect. "It's just a party, people look at each other. There's nothing special."
He raised an eyebrow and responded with a hint of sarcasm. “Sure."
"I'm serious. Stop reading into it."
"Alright, I won't."
That only annoyed her even more. She took a deep breath, attempting to regain control of the situation. "You're insufferable."
"What? I believe you," he replied. "I mean, nothing could've happened between two people who were locked together and then forced to share a room, right?"
She shot him a glare, but before she could say anything, she felt a presence coming up behind her. A sudden chill ran down her spine as she caught a whiff of scent she was accustomed to by now, something woody and fresh with a subtle hint of sweetness.
"Reid," Luke greeted as he gave her a side glance before moving towards Spencer, casually dropping an arm around his shoulders. "It's good to see you. How's your mom?"
Spencer's eyes met hers briefly before responding to Luke, "She's doing well, thanks."
“Good to hear.” Luke nodded his head towards her. "Y/n here was just telling me how much she missed you during the holidays."
Suppressing a groan, she shot him a warning look. Spencer, however, responded with a small smile. "You did?"
Her cheeks warmed slightly, caught off guard by his direct question. She feigned nonchalance, offering a casual shrug. "Please, I was just mourning the lack of someone to challenge my wisdom."
Luke chuckled and gave her one last pointed look before excusing himself with a pretense of Rossi calling him somewhere from the crowd. Her eyes narrowed on his back as he walked away, shaking her head in disbelief. "That man coming close to being second place on my hate list."
"I take it I'm still on your number one spot then."
She turned towards him at the sound of his voice, and now that they were alone, she finally took her time to observe him.
Her eyes scanned his clothes, taking in the details. From the carefully styled hair that hinted at the time he took to prepare, to the open dress shirt that he seemed unbothered to button all the way, exposing his long neck and the slight expanse of his chest. He looked good. He looked clean, polished, and undeniably handsome.
She blinked and cleared her throat, attempting to regain composure. "Well, you certainly took your time getting ready."
He met her gaze with a hint of amusement in his eyes, seemingly aware of her scrutinizing observation. "I believe in making a good impression," he replied, a subtle smile on his lips.
She arched an eyebrow, resisting the urge to acknowledge the effect his appearance had on her. "Trying to win over the crowd with something beyond your brain?"
"Partly," he admitted, "And partly because someone once told me that a well-dressed genius is a force to be reckoned with."
"Must have been Garcia."
He grinned. "You know her well."
She took another sip of her drink, a blend of sweet and bitter notes dancing on her tongue. Keeping her eyes on him over the rim of her glass, she observed the play of shadows on his face, accentuating the angles of his features. The ambient light from the party cast a subtle glow, and she couldn't help but notice how it highlighted the soft strands of hair that fell gracefully across his forehead.
"I'm actually surprised to see you here," she slowly remarked, her voice laced with curiosity.
"Surprised? Should I be offended?"
"I just never saw you as a... party type of person."
"I'm not," he agreed. "The only exception of social gathering I can endure is with everyone present here."
"Including me?"
“Especially you."
Her demeanor faltered for a split second, caught off guard by the unexpected turn in his tone. It wasn't the usual witty remark she anticipated. A flicker of surprise crossed her features before she could conceal it, her throat clearing as she attempted to regain control over her beating heart.
"Especially… me?" she echoed, attempting to mask the surprise in her voice.
Spencer's gaze held a warmth that felt unfamiliar, and he nodded. "It seems social events are more bearable when you're around."
She tilted her head and studied him. "You're just saying that because you have someone to pick a fight with."
"A fight?" He wondered. "Is that what we've been doing?"
"It's what we've always been doing."
"Not for the past few weeks, we haven't."
She knew what he was referring to. Not wanting to give him the satisfaction of indulging in a conversation about their sexual escapades, she instead responded with, "Well, you haven't, I'm still trying to play my part here."
He chuckled softly, the sound resonating in the quiet space between them. "And what part would that be?"
"The one where I constantly question the liability of your knowledge, of course."
Spencer's smile widened, the lines of his face softening. "Maybe," he began, his voice low, "We can explore different roles that don't involve any fighting."
She raised an eyebrow. "Are you suggesting a truce, Dr. Reid?"
"More like a change of tactics, Dr. L/n," he replied, gently taking the glass from her hand and placing it by the bar.
Her frown deepened, uncertainty in her eyes. "What are you doing?"
He nodded toward the center of the backyard where most of their team members filled the space of the party. "Dance with me."
She gazed towards the dance floor, then back at him, and her brows furrowed. That did not sound like the Spencer she knew, heck, she wasn't sure she had ever seen him dance before. Her eyes narrowed further when he gave her a grin.
"Come on, it's just a dance. It won't kill you," he urged, extending a hand towards her.
She eyed his outstretched hand with mock skepticism. "Are you implying that dancing with you is some kind of survival?"
Spencer grinned. "Considering the number of times you've survived my intellect, this should be a walk in the park."
She rolled her eyes. "Intellect, yes. Dancing? I'll take my chances."
"Are you afraid you'll step on my toes?" he teased.
"More like I'm afraid you'll step on mine," she shot back.
Spencer chuckled. "Just one dance, and if you don't enjoy it, you can revert to questioning the liability of my knowledge."
Her eyes drifted between his outstretched hand and his gaze, a silent contemplation unfolding within her. She knew that if she agreed to this, there was no turning back. Was it a wise decision? Probably not. But a small, rebellious part of her was curious to see how the night would unfold.
Spencer watched her with a patient expression, his hand still extended. The music continued to play, a steady beat that seemed to echo the pulse of the night, and after a moment's hesitation, she sighed in mock exasperation.
"Fine," she said, finally placing her hand in his, "But I reserve the right to make sarcastic remarks about your dance moves later."
"Deal," he agreed, leading her onto the dance floor with a grin.
She could feel everyone's scrutiny on them as he pulled her onto the dance floor, her breath hitching when he grabbed her other hand and placed her arms around his neck before snaking his arms around her waist.
"Everyone's watching us, aren't they?" she asked as they started to move to the soft beat of the music.
Spencer's gaze held a mischievous glint as he twirled her around, navigating the dance floor with surprising grace. "Let them watch," he replied, his voice low, sending a shiver down her spine. "It's just a dance, after all."
"You don't strike me as the 'just a dance' kind of person." She arched an eyebrow, unable to shake off the sense that there was more to this move than met the eye. "You don't even strike me as someone who even knows how to dance."
He shrugged. "Dancing is easy. All you have to do is move in circles and hold on to your partner."
He proved his point by pulling her further into his arms, and she couldn't help but notice the contrast in their heights. His broad chest pressed against her, the softness of his abdomen against her stomach, while his arms securely wrapped around her body.
Her breath caught for a moment, her gaze instinctively locking with his. The initial awkwardness transformed into a surprising ease, and she reciprocated the movements with a newfound confidence. The subtle sways and turns took on a rhythm of their own, syncing perfectly with the music that enveloped them.
"See?" he whispered, the warmth of his breath sending a shiver down her spine. "Easy."
They continued to move to the rhythm, and she couldn't help but notice the intensity in his gaze. The world around them seemed to blur, and for a moment, she actually enjoyed being held close to him.
But before she could fully relax in his arms, JJ appeared on the dance floor, hand in hand with her husband Will. The look of disbelief in their friend's eyes was unmistakable as the couple approached them while being tangled in their own dance.
"Are my eyes deceiving me," JJ teased, a playful smile dancing on her lips. "Or are you two getting along quite well?"
She rolled her eyes, attempting to maintain a casual facade. "It's just a dance. Don't read too much into it."
JJ's grin widened as she exchanged a knowing look with Will. "I didn't think I'd see the day when you and Reid would willingly share the dance floor."
She shot a glance at Spencer, and there was a momentary flicker of something in his eyes—was it surprise? amusement? She couldn't quite place it. Collecting herself, she responded with a mock grimace, "He forced me into it."
Spencer's expression turned playful. "I have a way of convincing people to do things they didn't know they wanted to do."
"You mean manipulate."
He chuckled. "Persuade, Y/n. It's all about perspective."
From the corner of her eyes, she saw JJ and Will exchanging another pointed look. "Either way, you both look like you're having a good time."
"And you both look good together," Will added.
"Thank you."
"We're not together."
They both looked at each other while JJ raised an eyebrow, her grin widening. "Yet here you are. Spence, you might have just discovered a hidden talent—getting Y/n to dance."
She let out a sigh. "Don't encourage him."
Spencer leaned in, his tone low. "You're just mad because you're enjoying this."
She narrowed her eyes. "Let's not get carried away."
"Come on, just admit it," The corners of his lips lifted in a playful smirk. "You're having more fun than you expected."
"Fun?" She scoffed, attempting to deflect the growing warmth in her cheeks. "I wouldn't call this fun. It's just an unfortunate consequence of being at a party."
"Yet you can't deny that you're not entirely opposed to the idea."
She shot him a glare. "You're dangerously close to overestimating your influence."
"Or maybe you're underestimating your willingness to enjoy the moment."
She shook her head, turning towards JJ. "Can you believe him—"
She stopped when she realized they had been left alone for a while, noticing JJ and Will were already at the other side of the dance floor. However as her eyes scanned around them, the scrutiny of the others didn't go unnoticed by her. She fixed her gaze back on Spencer.
"We must be such a sight to see," she remarked. "I bet they're starting some rumors about us."
He raised his eyebrows. "You think they haven't already?"
She sighed, acknowledging his words. "Fair point."
"What do you think they're saying about us?"
She considered for a moment. "That we secretly don't hate each other," she responded after contemplating her answer. "I think they might be disappointed when they realize the truth."
His arms instinctively tightened around her waist. "And what's the truth?"
She studied him, her heart suddenly beating fast. Weeks ago, she would have answered the question with certainty, stating that they were nothing more than coworkers who were both very stubborn. But as she felt his eyes watching her intently, she wasn't so sure anymore.
"The truth?" she echoed, her voice a little softer than she intended. "I don't know, Reid. What is our truth?"
He held her gaze, and for a moment, she was hypnotized by the look in his eyes. "Well, the part where we secretly don't hate each other is true, for me at least."
Her breath caught as she absorbed his words.
“…you don't hate me?"
"Hate is a very strong word." Spencer leaned in, his breath warm against her ear. "Hate is often fueled by fear or misunderstanding. It's a complex emotion rooted in our perceptions and experiences. So, in a way, hate is a reflection of the mind rather than a true evaluation of a person."
She couldn't help but let out a disbelieving laugh. "Did you just use psychology to explain why you don't hate me?"
"Considering our line of work, it seemed appropriate."
She shook her head in amusement. "Only you would analyze hate in the middle of a dance."
Spencer continued, "Well, understanding emotions is crucial in our field. And I believe there's more to us than mere hostility."
She pursed her lips together, her mind suddenly going through the times they often bickered. "I still find it hard to believe you didn't hate me the first time we met."
"Dislike would be a better way to put it. But I was at my lowest point at that time. It wasn't just you, I was angry at everyone. At the circumstances. At myself." He slightly leaned back and sighed. "And I admit, it was wrong of me to take it out on you."
Then after a moment of silence, he whispered, "I'm sorry."
She felt the warmth of his embrace, the steady rhythm of his heartbeat against hers. The apology hung in the air and she found herself at a loss for words. For a fleeting moment, the walls she had built seemed to crumble, leaving her standing on the precipice of something unfamiliar.
She took a deep breath, her voice barely above a whisper, "And how do you see me now?"
Spencer's gaze held a thoughtful intensity as he considered her question. "I think you're someone who challenges me. There's a depth to you beyond the harsh glare and cold shoulder." He eased, pressing a hand on her lower back. "And, if I may say, someone who looks surprisingly stunning on the dance floor."
A blush crept over her cheeks, and she narrowed her eyes, wondering if he had another motive behind the compliment. "You're using flattery now? Are you trying to get in my pants again?"
He laughed. "Is it working?"
She rolled her eyes, suppressing a smile. "Nice try, Reid. Flattery might get you far, but not that far."
His grin widened, and he guided her through the dance floor with ease. "Well, I'll have to come up with better tactics then."
His touch, gentle and deliberate, sent a shiver down her spine as his thumb traced an almost hypnotic pattern on the small of her back through the fabric of her dress. The soft caress felt both intimate and tender, catching her off guard. "I mean it though," he said, his voice a soft murmur that resonated with honesty. "You do look beautiful tonight."
There was something in his gaze that was unfamiliar, even hearing him easily compliment her was foreign in her ears. Her confusion must have been evident on her face because he smiled at her. "What?"
She shook her head, dismissing her thoughts. "Nothing. It's just... unexpected, coming from you."
He chuckled, the sound vibrating against her as they moved in sync with the music. "It's part of my New Year's resolution."
"What? To be nicer?" She guessed. "Be a better person?"
"To be a better person for you," he corrected.
Her heartbeat picked up, and she found herself drawing closer to him, the music weaving a subtle spell around them. The warmth radiating from him, the soft glow of the string lights, and the gentle melody created an intimate atmosphere that blurred the lines between the hostility she often wore.
The distance between them diminished, and she felt the subtle shift in the air. Without registering what she was doing, her fingers came up behind his neck, softly playing with the strands of his hair. They were so soft, just like the look reflected in his eyes. Then her gaze went down to his lips; they too looked incredibly soft.
"Stop looking at me like that."
Her eyes snapped to his. "Like what?"
"Like you want to close the distance between us," he whispered, his voice a low murmur that sent a shiver down her spine. "Because I'm trying to restrain myself from doing just that."
His fingers found the small of her back, pressing gently, while hers continued their silent dance in his hair. Every touch, every movement, fueled the escalating heat between them. His proximity was intoxicating, and the magnetic pull between them was undeniable. The distance diminished further until she could feel his breath, warm and inviting, grazing against her lips.
But before she could indulge herself, Garcia's voice echoed somewhere in the crowd. "It's the final countdown, people!"
Suddenly becoming aware of their surroundings, she released her arms from around his neck and shifted her gaze elsewhere. Her eyes landed on the projector screen, previously used by the kids for a movie marathon and now it displayed the vibrant scenes of people joyously ringing in the New Year celebration.
As the digital numbers on the screen ticked down, the energy in the backyard intensified. The countdown became a collective heartbeat, a shared anticipation that echoed through the crowd.
"Ten! Nine! Eight!"
In those final moments, she stole a glance at Spencer, their eyes locking silently.
"Seven! Six! Five!"
But his stare became so intense that she quickly looked away.
"Four! Three! Two! One! Happy New Year!"
The cheers erupted, and the backyard was bathed in the glow of fireworks, the sky above adorned with bursts of color. She watched the dazzling display in awe, the explosions of light reflecting in her eyes.
Amidst the celebratory chaos, she noticed her friends wrapped in the arms of their loved ones, celebrating happily. JJ and Will shared a sweet kiss, Simmons was embraced by his family, Penelope and Luke exchanged laughter, and even Rossi, with a subtle smile, clinked glasses with Emily and Tara.
And as the colorful explosions painted the night sky, she felt a lingering gaze on her. Turning, she found Spencer watching her intently. His eyes were searching hers as if he were asking for permission to close the short distance separating them.
She knew what he meant. It was beyond asking permission to kiss her. It was a gentle plea to understand the unspoken boundaries that lingered between them. Engaging in intimacy behind closed doors was one thing, but to take that step in front of their peers meant exposing a vulnerability she had carefully guarded. Did she want to cross that line?
A part of her wavered, finding herself drawn to him—his warm brown eyes, his smile, everything about him seemed to call out to a part of her that she had kept guarded. The barriers she had meticulously built started to feel like fragile walls as everything around them started to fade, leaving only the soft glow of string lights and the distant echoes of laughter.
Oh, fuck it.
Feeling the pull of an undeniable force, she took a step closer with a small, bashful smile playing on her lips. It was all the answer he needed. Closing the distance between them, he framed her face with his large hands, his warm touch sending a shiver down her spine. Surrounded by the cheers of the crowd and the vibrant display of fireworks overhead, he finally leaned down, gently brushing his lips against hers.
Warmth spread through her body as he held her, his touch gentle yet possessive. He tipped her jaw, allowing his mouth to move along with hers. His tongue easily slipped into her as he continued to taste the subtle hint of liquor she had been drinking. Spencer was never one to drink, but he didn't mind tasting it on her. If anything, he couldn't get enough.
Her arms instinctively traveled underneath his suit jacket, seeking more of his warmth as she wrapped them around his waist. The fabric of his suit was smooth under her fingertips, and the heat of his body radiated through the layers of clothing.
The kiss deepened as he continued to explore her mouth, growing more intense with each passing second, and it wasn't until they heard someone through their haze calling out, "There are kids here!" that he finally pulled away.
He laughed, a soft, genuine sound and she couldn't help but join in. He then rested his forehead against hers, their breaths mingling in the small space that separated them. The lingering taste of their kiss hung in the air, and for a moment, they simply stood there. The reality of the situation slowly sank in, and they exchanged a glance filled with a mix of surprise and amusement.
"I guess we got carried away," he mumbled.
"You think?" She chuckled, her fingers playing with the lapels of his suit jacket. "We should keep it PG-13 for now."
His fingers gently traced the curve of her cheek. "Does that mean we can go R-rated later?"
She let out a laugh, throwing her head back in mirth. "You're relentless."
He smiled, savoring the moment of ease between them, and he found himself captivated by the genuine joy she radiated. His gaze traveled around the backyard and noticed everyone watching them with amused grins. He leaned down and pulled her flush against him. "Everyone's watching us."
She groaned and hid her face in the crook of his neck. "I can already imagine their teasing."
There was a moment of silence before he responded, "I think it's worth it."
"What is?" she mumbled into his neck.
He pulled away and looked down at her. In a tender gesture, he brushed a strand of hair away from her face, his touch lingering for a moment longer than necessary. "I can handle the constant teasing if it means I get to hold you like this."
The corners of her lips curled into a soft smile. "You're willing to endure their teasing just to hold me?"
His gaze met hers, unwavering. "More than willing."
Her gaze softened as she looked at him. She couldn't believe how this night had turned out, yet, here they were—wrapped up in a dance of their own. It was a position she would've never imagined herself in. And despite her best efforts to resist, the walls she had meticulously built were crumbling.
"Can I kiss you again?" He whispered. "I promise I'll make it family-friendly."
The corners of her lips curled as she laughed. The unexpected turn of events had brought them to a place she never anticipated, but surprisingly, it felt oddly right.
"I suppose one more won't hurt."
His smile widened, and with a hint of mischief in his eyes, he leaned in, capturing her lips in a tender kiss. "Happy New Year," he whispered against her lips.
She found herself smiling, realizing that perhaps, unexpected as it was, this change of year wasn't so bad. She closed her eyes, savoring the moment, and wondered where her life would take her this year. The path ahead seemed unclear, but one thing was certain—Spencer Reid had managed to find his way into her heart.
.
a/n: if you’ve followed the story since lose control, this is the ending for this short series. As much as I wanted to write smut again for the last part, the fluff was calling out to me :3
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#spencer reid x you#spencer reid x female reader#spencer reid x y/n#spencer reid x reader#spencer reid smut#spencer reid x fem!reader#spencer reid x self insert#spencer reid fluff#spencer reid fanfic#spencer reid#spencerreid#spencer reid x oc#spencer reid x fem!reader smut#spencer reid x fanfiction#spencer reid fic#criminal minds#criminal minds fanfic#spencer reid imagine#spencer reid fanfiction#mentioningmargins
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Bunny’s first Christmas
This is part of my 12 days of fics
Pairings: Wanda Maximoff x Fem!Bunny hybrid!Reader
Warnings: rough sex, strap on (r receiving), talks of breeding, pet/owner dynamics, mommy kink, squirting.
Summary: In which you spend your first Christmas with your mommy
Being a bunny hybrid can be hard. But not when you’re owned by Wanda Maximoff. Or mommy as you call her. Mommy takes very good care of her bunny. She spoils you with gifts and love. And she fucks you hard anywhere around the house.
You always walk around in the prettiest little dresses, the light pink collar with tags of your name and her name underneath with a phone number in case you get lost. You love wearing the collar. Gives you contentment that you have an owner. Lots of bunnies don’t have one. And if they do, they’re usually neglected and only are used for sex. While that’s usually why someone would buy a hybrid, they still need to be treated with love and care.
Your ears, long and brown, always standing up and on high alert. Which is why you could hear Christmas Dreaming by Laufey playing in the kitchen.
Curiously, you walked towards the kitchen to find the witch making Christmas cookies. Your nose twitched at the smell and you ran over to her.
“Hi, bunny.” She chirped, scratching behind your ears the way you like it. You hummed.
“Hi mommy.” You responded, “what are you doing?”
“Oh, mommy’s just making some cookies for Christmas. You wanna try one?”
“Yes please.” Gosh, always so polite. Such a good girl. Wanda gave you a cookie and you nibbled on it for a bit. See, you’ve never experienced Christmas before. Being in that god awful hybrid shelter. Sometimes people would donate gifts for the homeless hybrids but that was about it.
“Mmm it’s s’good, mommy.” You moaned.
“Glad you like it, bunny.” Wanda couldn’t help but get turned on at the sounds you were making. And poor you, unaware of what you were doing to your mommy.
But the redhead knew she shouldn’t fuck you right now, since she needs to bake more cookies for Tony’s stupid Christmas party. She’s never resented the billionaire more in her life.
How dare he keep her away from fucking her precious bunny when he’s not even here! She groaned in frustration which caught your ears.
“Mommy…what’s wrong?” You asked timidly, placing the cookie back down on the tray.
“Sorry baby but I’m just so stressed right now. That’s all.”
“Is there something I can do to help?”
Fuck it, Wanda thought, Starks cookies can wait.
“Yeah, actually.” She replied, “Bend over the counter.” You were taken back by her sudden demand, her voice deep and harsh. You quickly bent over the counter, you knew what was going to happen and it made you weak with arousal.
The witch roughly lifted your dress up and pulled your cotton panties down before unbuckling her belt pulling her strap out.
She tapped it against your wet folds, collecting your slick before pounding into you with no warning.
You squealed, holding onto the edge of the counter. Wanda grabbed your hips firmly as she fucked into you. “Holy fuck, you feel so good.” She was proud she was able to come up with a spell that allowed her to feel everything with the strap. She felt your sweet walls clenching around her cock.
“Mommy! Oh so good!” You moaned.
“Fuck, you’re so beautiful, pet. Gonna breed you so good one day.” Wanda smacked your ass.
“Ahh- oh fuck-“ you cried.
Wanda tugged on your little bushy cottontail which made you moan.
“Oh fuck honey, go ahead and cum for me.” She hissed.
You clenched around her cock, squirting out your release. She groaned, coming to her own orgasm.
Finally, the witch pulled out of you and put your panties back on. And as you stood up she fixed your dress for you.
You turned around and pressed a kiss to her lips.
“Mmm merry Christmas bunny.”
“Merry Christmas, mommy.”
#marvel x reader#marvel smut#wanda maximoff x reader#wanda maximoff smut#bunny!reader#Wanda maximoff x bunny!reader#hybrid!reader#12 days of fics
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yandere farmer
a/n: smth smth i Really like people w southern accents smth smth so here's a farmer. im not 100% satisfied w this one but it's been in my drafts for so long so here it is.
warnings: mdni, not proofread, yandere content, gn reader, male yandere, idk how cars work so, overprotective behavior, obsessive behavior, reader has hair in this sorry if u dont, murder, brief mention of vomit, non-con kissing, mild depictions of gore, choking, i think that's it??
— maybe it's a bit cliché but life in the big city was exhausting, and all you wanted to do was get away from it all. it was a bit sudden, deciding you wanted to uproot your entire life and start somewhere new, but you knew that this is exactly what you needed.
— and it's not as if you weren't going into this blind. a friend of yours had a family vacation home in a small farm town that hadn't been used in years, and they were willing to let you stay there until you could find a place of your own.
— you had everything planned out. you had enough money on you for gas and food for the drive there, and you had already had some of your stuff shipped off to your new temporary home, so you didn't have to worry about leaving anything behind. you even kept a little extra money on you in case you needed to crash at a motel.
— the drive had started off fine. traffic wasn't too bad as you left the city, and there were no major setbacks until you were almost at your destination. when you were 20 miles out from the farmer town you'd be living in, your car just suddenly died on you. it still had gas in the tank, and there didn't seem to be anything wrong with the car itself, it just… died.
— what's worse is the fact that your phone had no service. you suppose that's not too shocking, considering how far out in the country you are, but it's a bit shocking, isn't it? you're not that educated on farming life or this small town, but surely they had modern technology, right?
— it's cliché, honestly. it felt like the start of some cheap slasher. or maybe a southern christmas romance movie. you're not quite sure which would be worse. the slasher, realistically. whatever, you're getting off track.
— the point is, your car is dead, your phone is useless, and it's starting to get dark. you could probably make it to that motel you saw a few miles back, but you didn't really feel comfortable leaving your car out here alone. not to mention you're not even sure if you have enough money on you to cover one night at a motel.
— the universe, in all her mercy, takes pity on you before you can get too upset over your plight, because not even 20 minutes after your car stops, a truck drives by. it's beat up, but it slows to a stop next to your car. the window rolls down, revealing the driver to be a man just a little older than you.
— he asked if you needed help, and offered to tow your car and drive you to town. you didn't have much choice but to agree, and the drive to town was… not as awkward as you thought it would be, actually.
— the man introduced himself as rigby shaw, a farmer that lives on the outskirts of town. you actually drove by his farm maybe 15 miles back, and he had been heading into town to pick up some medication for one of his dogs when he saw you pacing outside your car. in turn, you told him how you were moving into the small town because life in the city had been overwhelming.
— rigby didn't think you'd survive long outside of the city. city folk rarely ever strive in small, out of touch towns, away from modern technology. the small handful that made their way here always went back to the city not even three months into being here, so he didn't expect to see you last long either. you were nicer than most city folk, though.
— but you were determined to make a living out here, so when rigby dropped you off, you got to work immediately. you unpacked your stuff that had been there waiting for you, and in the morning, you got to work trying to fix your car. turns out, your fan belt had somehow come loose just enough that your car could no longer function. why? who knows, maybe the universe was in a silly mood.
— anyways, you settled into the small town life with relative ease, and rigby was very surprised when he returned to town a few weeks later, you were still there. the only thing you were struggling with was finding a job. maybe because he was fascinated by your determination, but rigby ended up offering you a job on his farm. he did need help taking care of the crops and feeding the animals there, but he mostly just wanted to learn more about you.
— you were a fast learner, and his dogs took to you fairly quickly. the cattle and horses were a little less trusting, though that was expected. he's sure they'll take to you soon enough, given how you respect their boundaries and go at their pace unlike his previous farmhands. you had no problem taking on any challenge rigby had set up for you, and maybe that's when he started finding himself thinking about you.
— if he's out in town while you're on the farm, he's worrying that you might get injured without him around. you can take care of yourself, but he can't help but worry. same for when you're in town while he's on the farm. you’re still an outsider there, and he knows that some of the townsfolk may try scaring you off. or maybe they'll try hurting you. or maybe you'll be completely fine and he's just overreacting.
— he starts hovering around you more often when you're on his farm, jumping in to help you whenever he thinks you might be struggling with something. you think he's just worried you might fuck his crops up or something, so you never really pay much mind to his behavior. it only struck you as odd when he insisted on helping you feed the dogs of all things. was he scared you would poison them? you wouldn't, obviously, so you don't know why he'd think that.
— his behavior only seems to escalate when you meet a guy in town one day and start going on casual dates with him. he was… shocked, when you asked to take the day off because of some guy. in the months that you've been living in town, you had never shown any interest in pursuing a romantic relationship with… anyone, truly. you had always seemed so dedicated to working on the farm and making a living for yourself, rigby had never even considered you could want anything other than that.
— at first, he felt disappointed. why would you prioritize dates with some guy when you could be working on the farm with him instead? it took him a bit to realize that disappointment he was feeling was jealousy. he hated when you'd step away from him to accept calls from your new boyfriend. he hated how you stopped eating lunch with him in favor of eating it with your boyfriend.
— your boyfriend wasn't even that great of a guy. rigby did some research on him–it's not stalking, he's just making sure it's safe for you to date this guy!–and he was not pleased with what he found. you could do so much better! you didn't understand why rigby was so interested in your boyfriend, always asking questions about how he treats you, if he's really what you're looking for in a relationship, if you actually loved him…
— you couldn't help but notice how touchy rigby has become as well, his hands always lingering on you far too long when he helps you with your work. you swear that you've heard him smell your hair a few times when he's close as well. he's been acting weird ever since you officially started dating your boyfriend. he's even going as far as to pile more work on top of you, leaving little free time for you to spend with your lover.
— it's gotten unbearable to the point where you decided you ultimately needed to find a new place to work. you liked rigby, he was a great guy with a kind heart, but his behavior was bordering on obsession and you didn't want to enable this behavior by ignoring it. your boyfriend agreed, and with his help, you were able to find a job at the local market in town.
— rigby was not pleased when he heard you on the phone with your lover, talking about how you'd tell him you were quitting after you finished work.
You're not really sure what happened. One moment, you were on the phone with your boyfriend and then the next, you were being hit in the head and everything had gone dark. The sun had only just started setting when you had been knocked out, but it was completely dark outside when you had woken up.
Your head was pounding as you opened your eyes, looking around in an attempt to figure out what the hell had happened to you. You were still on the farm, that much you knew. The first thing that worried you was the fact that your hands were bound to a wooden post, leaving you unable to move without injuring yourself. Your phone was broken on the ground, so it was completely useless.
Did a trespasser knock you out? It's not the first person people have trespassed on the farm, trying to steal the horses or ‘save’ the animals Rigby had. You had assumed that to be the case, because… what else could have happened for you to be tied up like this?
“Rigby?!” You shout his name, wincing at the throbbing in your head as you did so. Was he okay? Was he hurt? What if something happened to him? What if–
Your panicked thoughts get put on pause when a light blinded you, and you shied away from it as best as you could as you tried to figure out its source. It seemed to be a flashlight, and you only realized who was holding it when they got closer.
For a moment, you relaxed at the sight of Rigby, relieved to see he was okay as he approached, though there was something off about him. Maybe it was the fact that he didn't seem injured, yet there was blood on his hands. Or maybe it was the… borderline crazed look in his eyes.
Something wasn't right.
“Rigby…?” You hesitantly called his name, your relief bleeding away into a reluctant unease, “Are you okay? What happened? Why am I tied up?”
His silence did little to help you as he set his flashlight down on the ground and started undoing your binds. Your wrists felt raw as you gently rubbed them once they were free, standing up while Rigby retrieved his flashlight.
“Rigby, what the hell is going on?” You ask, growing frustrated at being left in the dark. You had been knocked out and tied up, so you think you deserve some sort of explanation as to what had happened.
“I have a gift for you.” Rigby says, completely dodging your question as he grabbed your wrist and pulled you after him. His grip was tight, almost bruising as he dragged you along, ignoring you when you asked him to loosen his grip on you. He refused to answer any of your questions, and you were starting to get worried.
You've never been scared of Rigby. Sure, his behavior lately had been concerning, but you had no reason to be scared. But right now, you couldn't help but feel a bit afraid as he led you in the dark. Your concern only grew when you realized he was taking you to the barn the pigs were kept in.
“Will you just tell me what's going on?” Your words fall upon deaf ears as he passes the flashlight to you, motioning for you to take the lead as he opens the barn doors. You hesitate before shining the flashlight in the barn, slowly stepping forward.
Most of the pigs were sleeping in their own separate stalls, a few were watching you and Rigby with indifference as you both stepped deeper into the barn. But two things stood out to you. One, a handful of pigs were nowhere to be seen. Two, there was this weird… squelching sound coming from the back of the barn.
“It's just back there.” Rigby says, his breath hitting the back of your neck and causing you to jump. You hadn't even realized how close he had gotten. You scurry forward just to get some distance. Truthfully, you didn't want to see this ‘gift’ Rigby was talking about, but you knew that you couldn't turn back.
Deep down, you knew something horrible was about to happen. The squelching sound grew louder, and you could hear the sound of chewing along with it. When you looked back at Rigby for some sort of reassurance, he just had this strange smile on his face. It sent a chill down your spine.
And when you hesitantly looked in the last stall at the very back of the barn to see the source of the noise, your ‘gift’, you dropped the flashlight in horror and let out a scream as you stumbled back right into Rigby's arms.
On the ground was your boyfriend's corpse, his face nearly maimed beyond recognition as several pigs chewed at his body. You're lucky you're able to swallow the vomit in your throat as you try to get out of Rigby's hold, looking away from the horrific scene in front of you as you cried.
“Let go of me!” You claw at his arms, but he just holds you tightly against his chest, gently shushing you as he forces you to watch the pigs eat.
“Do you like it?” He asks, completely ignoring your horror, “It wasn't hard getting him to come here. I just told him you had an accident, and suddenly, he was on his way. Isn't that sweet? It's a shame he wasn't stronger… he never would've been able to protect you if someone tried hurting you. But I can, see? I can give you what you deserve.”
You weren't even listening to his deluded words, trying to squirm out of his hold, “You're a fucking monster.” You spit out, a sharp gasp being torn out of your mouth when he shoves you against the wall of the barn, his hand around your throat as he lightly squeezes. A subtle threat, one that had you shutting up.
“I expect some fucking gratitude, you ungrateful brat.” Rigby’s voice is cold, his anger had never been something you'd ever been on the receiving end of, “I did this for you. For us. You should be thanking me.” His hand on your throat tightens, squeezing the air out of your lungs, his gaze hard as he stares at you expectantly.
Desperate for air, you're barely able to wheeze out a small, “Thank you.”
As black spots start to fill your vision, Rigby removes his hand from your neck, and you're able to breathe again. His anger was gone, replaced with delighted satisfaction.
“Of course, darlin’.” He sweetly says, a bloodied hand coming up to gently wipe the tears off your face, “I'd do anything for you. I can provide for you, so just be good for me in return, okay?”
And as he pulls you into a kiss, his lips pressing against yours with a heated desperation, you find yourself missing the city for the first time since you left it.
#oc: the farmer — rigby shaw.#yandere farmer x reader#yandere x reader#yandere x you#yandere x gn reader#yandere oc x reader#yandere x darling#male yandere x reader#yandere oc x you#male yandere x you#yandere farm x you#yandere#yandere oc#yandere farmer#yandere imagines
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The Manuscript - A.H
a/n: this was supposed to be based on t.s new song manuscript, but it didn't realllyyy turn out like that
‧₊˚ ✩°。⋆♡ ⋆˙⟡♡ ⋆˙⟡♡⋆。°✩˚₊‧
pairings: aaron hotchner x reader
summary: while unpacking you find a series of letters aaron wrote to you in college
warnings: angst, age gap (reader is 20s, hotch is 40s), haley and jack don't exist in this universe
wc: 1.3k
Your gaze swept over the towering stacks of boxes littering your living room floor, and with a resigned sigh, you began the daunting task of unpacking them. Your hands found the nearest box deftly lifting the flaps as you began to pull out its contents. Your felt the soft crinkle of paper beneath your fingers, and gently, you drew out a stack of letters, their edges softened with time, all neatly tied together with a string.
Your heart seized a sudden halt as you realized just what they were. Your throat constricted, parched, as tears stung your eyes, threatening to spill over, your fingers coming to rest over your mouth. Instinctively, your body sank onto the cold hardwood floor, gently placing the papers down beside you. You had forgotten these had even existed, let alone made it with you on the move.
You didn't remember seeing them when you packed, did you? Your fingers shook slightly as they picked apart the knot, and with a hesitant touch, you reached for the first piece of weathered paper.
January 5
Honey,
Your letter was a welcome surprise, far sweeter than any text message could be. I enjoyed spending New Years Eve with you too, and I hope this case ends quickly so I can take you on a real date.
I'm glad to hear college is going well. Should you encounter any more issues with your professor, please let me know. You're a bright young woman, and I have no doubt he'll see that in time. I am looking forward to your next letter.
Yours,
Aaron
--
March 12
Honey,
I'm glad you enjoyed our date as much as I did. At times, I find my thoughts wandering to you in that dress, and it's a welcome distraction.
I'm glad you look forward to our letters, because I do too. And yes, rest assured, I'm taking all necessary precautions in the field. Don't worry, the team has my back, especially Garcia--she's got more eyes on us than stars in the sky.
Goodluck on your psychology exam. I know you will ace it.
Yours,
Aaron.
--
May 5
Honey,
I've read your letter several times, and I want you to know that it's perfectly normal to question your path. Trust your instincts--they've led you well thus far. Remember you are allowed to change your mind. Your parents will understand.
No matter what you decide, I have no doubt you will succeed. You have a rare combination of intelligence and empathy that will serve you well in any profession.
Once I'm back, how about we go to that restaurant you love? Consider it a date.
Yours,
Aaron.
--
July 19
Honey,
Summer suits you, I can tell--even from a distance. I'm proud of the work you're doing--shadowing at the occupational therpay office and working with children is no small feat. You'll have to tell me all about it when I get back.
The case is demanding, as they often are. And as for the sweatshirt, consider it yours. I had a feeling it wouldn't find its way back to me anyway.
We should talk about getting you a key to my place. Then you'll have no need to borrow my things--you'll have access to them whenever you wish.
I love you. I'll say it again when I see you.
Yours forever,
Aaron
--
January 14
Honey,
Congratulations on your first semester of OT school. I am incredibly proud of you and everything you have accomplished. Smarty pants.
I'm glad to hear you've been using the journal I gave you for Christmas. I would give you a thousand if that's what you wanted.
When I'm back, we'll celebrate your achievements properly. Until then, know I'm grateful for you every day. You've made me the happiest I've been, and I cherish every moment we share. I love you.
Yours forever,
Aaron
--
May 20
Honey,
Your last letter lingered on the topic of our age difference, and I've been giving it a lot of thought. It's a subject that, admittedly, has crossed my mind more than once. But let me reassure you, to me, it's the person you are, not the years you've lived, that matters most.
I understand the concerns that come with this, and I want you to know that it's okay. Your feelings are valid. We're navigating this together, and I remain certain in my commitment to you and to us.
We'll talk more about this when I'm home. I love you.
Yours forever,
Aaron
--
August 8
Honey,
I want you to know that I didn't mean to leave things unresolved, I'm sorry I was called away. I'm not writing to rehash the argument. I understand everything you said, and it's given me much to think about.
You are the most important part of my life, and us being at odds is more challenging than any case I've ever face. I love you deeply, and I'm committed to finding a way through this together. When I return, let's sit down and talk--really talk. I'm sorry for the way things were left, and I hope we can move past this.
Yours forever,
Aaron
--
December 22
Honey,
I find myself at a loss for words yet compelled to write to you. I've had time to reflect on everything that happened between us. I'm deeply sorry for any hurt I've caused, and how things unfolded. My only wish was for us to want the same things.
Please know, I will always be here for you, in any capacity you need. I hope you find someone who is worthy of you and can provide the life you deserve. You deserve someone who can walk with you through all stages of your life--someone who can give you the family you dream of. You have so much to offer.
You are an extraordinary person, and I have no doubt you will find great love and joy. And though it may not be with me, please remember, I still love you.
Yours always,
Aaron.
--
You hadn't even realized you were crying until your tears began to soak into the page, each droplet distorting the text as it spread. Your hand moved instinctively to your face, the fabric of your sleeve brushing against your wet cheek. A decade-old ache twisted inside you sharply, as fresh as if it were only yesterday.
You returned the letters to their stack, the bow tied as neatly as it was before, and laid them at the bottom of the box. As the papers found their place, your focus shifted, something else catching your attention--the journal he'd given you.
The sudden patter of footsteps coming down the stairs snapped you back to the present. Hastily, you wiped away the lingering tears and secured the lid on the box. As you turned, your face transformed with a practiced smile just as your seven-year-old daughter came skipping into view, her voice bubbling with excitement, "Mommy, mommy!"
Gathering her up in your arms, you showered her cheeks with affectionate kisses, her infectious giggles filling the empty house.
"When is daddy going to be home?"
With a gentle smile, you replied, "Soon, sweetheart," while your fingers danced along her side, eliciting more giggles. "Do you want to help Mommy unpack?"
She quickly scrunched her nose and shook her head. "Mmm, no, not really."
You laughed, and your heart swelled with love so intense it almost hurt. The front door swung open, and your daughter's voice pierced the air once more with a, "Daddy!"
Her little feet dashed off as she rushed to greet him, leaving you to resume unpacking. You barely had time to refocus when you felt a gentle touch in your hair. Aaron was there, kneeling to your level with a tender smile.
"Hi, honey," he said, his hand pausing as he noted the redness around your eyes. "What's wrong angel?"
You reach for the letters, holding them out to Aaron with a half-smile. "Just revisiting the time you were this close to losing the best thing in your life," you tease, a laugh bubbling up. But as the laughter fades, it morphs into a sob.
Aaron's laughter mingled with yours as he wrapped his arms around you, pulling you close to his chest. "Yeah, that was a close one," he admitted, his voice a soft rumble. "Glad I came to my senses."
#aaron hotchner x reader#aaron hotchner angst#aaron hotchner#hotch#hotchner#criminal minds angst#cm#thomas gibson#Spotify
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Kinktober 2024 | 𝗼𝗰𝘁 𝟭𝟯: ᴛᴏᴍ ʀɪᴅᴅʟᴇ X ꜰ!ʀᴇᴀᴅᴇʀ
Let me take care of you. | pt. 1
Part Two is up!
summary: You and Tom didn’t get on well. Always challenging the other, striving to become the best student of your year. When you then decided to stay at Hogwarts during your last Christmas holidays to fully focus on your study, things drastically changed…
Warnings: 18+ only! | sensual fingering, handjob, inexperienced!reader, fear of getting caught
A/N: after my last post this was very necessary. I do prefer this version of Tom ngl. Feedback is greatly appreciated! <3
wordcount: 2,7k
You and Tom Riddle were both Head Girl and Head Boy. You never got on well with the brunette, years of academic rivalry making the two of you hate each other. The smug grin he put on whenever he scored a better grade than you had you fuming every time. Oh, how much you despised that subtle arrogance.
As it was your seventh year at Hogwarts, final exams were coming up soon. Your parents were going to visit family in the US for Christmas, so you decided it was for the better to stay at Hogwarts, preparing for exam season. This sadly also meant that you would spend your birthday all alone, as your friends decided to return home during the break.
You had high ambitions for the NEWTS. Striving to become an auror, you knew you had to excel at pretty much every single subject. That was why you spent most of the first week of the holidays in the library, head stuck in Potions, Charms, Transfigurations and Defence against the Dark Arts literature. Each time you entered the library, Tom was already sitting in his usual spot, seemingly doing the same thing you were. Nerd.
He never left Hogwarts during breaks. You had been wondering for a while why that was the case. His parents must surely be proud of their son, after all he was one of the best students in the whole school. But in the end, you didn’t care.
“Anything you need help with?” The sudden question tore you out of your thoughts. You looked up to spot Tom standing there in front of you, hands in the pockets of his trousers, an eyebrow raised. You must have been staring at him for too long.
You felt your face heat up at the thought. If you didn’t need one thing, it was Tom getting another ego boost. Of course, Tom was attractive. Girls had been fancying him for years, but he did not seem interested in any of them. Harsh rejections were the outcome of anyone asking him out, even the most popular girl was left crying when she tried. You preferred challenging Tom academically but couldn’t deny his appeal. His brunette locks falling onto his forehead, his posture, his robes always neat without a crease. And his hands. You loved the veins decorating his skin, his slender fingers wrapping around his wand so perfectly.
But you didn’t like each other. And what would be more pathetic than getting rejected by the boy you hated? That was why you tried being better than him at every single test you had, because that was how to humble a Tom Riddle.
“No. I am doing perfectly fine on my own, thanks.” You replied casually, reverting your gaze to the book in front of you.
“Then stop staring. It’s a bit too obvious.” He whispered, leaning to you slightly.
“I was not staring!” You blurted out, but he had already turned around to go back to his spot. You could see the grin on his face from here, and oh how you hated it.
You couldn’t focus anymore after that and decided to go back to your dorm, taking the afternoon off. A well deserved break.
The second week continued just the same, you two and a handful other students studying in the library. However, today was your birthday and you did not want to spend that getting headaches over potion ingredients. If you could not celebrate with your friends you thought, you would at least use it to relax. And what better spot was there to relax than the Prefect’s bathroom?
You made your way towards it, carefully sneaking around the castle to not get caught. It was not too dangerous, most professors and students not being there anyway. When you had finally reached the entry, you looked around again, and as you did not see anyone, you entered the room. You had never been in there before, as obviously Tom was made prefect and not you. But as you both were head boy and head girl now, you decided you could try it out at least once.
It wasn’t well lit, yet you could still see the marble floor and statues decorating the room. It looked stunning, and with a quick wave of your wand the bathtub was filling, air becoming more humid by the minute. Bubbles were forming on the hot water and as it was almost full, you undressed yourself and stepped into the tub. First, you massaged some shampoo into your hair, letting it sit for a few minutes. Soon enough, you felt yourself grow tired, eyelids fluttering close.
You must have fallen asleep, because a loud creak of the door woke you up.
Shit shit shit.
You searched for your wand, but you remembered you had left it on top of the pile of your clothes, out of reach from the bathtub. What was there left to do? You quickly hid your exposed body under the bubbles, sinking into the water as far as you could, only letting your head peak out. Staying as silent as you could, you hoped the person barging in had seen someone was there already and would leave again without making the whole situation awkward.
“Celebrating your birthday all alone, are we?” A familiar voice questioned.
It was Tom. What on earth was he doing here and why was he coming closer?
“Leave! Get out! Can’t you see I am bathing?” You hissed, covering your body even under water.
“That’s no way to talk to someone who just wants to wish you a happy birthday.” Tom purred, now standing behind you.
“Riddle! This is completely inappropriate! What if someone sees us like this?” You shrieked.
“I locked the door, unlike you.”
“If this is just another attempt to humiliate me, you have done a great job. You can leave now.” You snapped at him.
“I am not here for that. As a Head Boy, it’s my duty to wish the Head Girl a happy birthday after all. Besides, who could resist the prettiest girl of Hogwarts mindlessly not locking the bathroom door?”
“Riddle!” You exclaimed, yet you didn’t make an effort to make him leave.
He sighed. “I see the way you are looking at me. I know you feel the same way I do. Tell me to leave again and I will. Tell me you don’t want this and we can forget about it.”
As you were struggling to answer him, he turned around, exhaling loudly.
“No, Tom. Please. Please stay.” You whispered, turning your head to finally face him. What had gotten into you? You hated him, yet you couldn’t resist him.
Tom traced back his steps, returning to your side. At first he seemed hesitant at what to do next, but then he gently started massaging your sore shoulders, his thumbs working perfect circles into your skin.
“Is it true what you are saying, Tom?”
“I don’t lie.”
You nodded but weren’t fully convinced of his true intentions. However, you loved the way he was tending to your body. Did he really think you were pretty?
“Your muscles feel very tense. You shouldn’t spend so much time studying at once.” He remarked, never stopping.
You rested your head against his chest, closing your eyes. “Is that your way of getting me to fail my finals?” You grinned, slightly shifting.
“You wouldn’t fail. We both know that. All I am saying is that you should take more care of your health.” He said, voice calm.
You hummed, solely focusing on his hands on your body.
“Do you mind me joining? It’s alright if you aren’t comfortable.” He asked carefully.
“I don’t mind.” Though, you felt yourself become nervous at the thought of sharing a tub with him. He left your side to undress himself. You could hear piece after piece of clothing dropping to the ground, and soon enough he stepped into the bathtub next to you. That was the first time you looked him into the eyes since he had entered the room, and you felt your face heat up, looking away.
“No need to get shy now. Come here.” He grinned, offering you a hand. As you reached out to grab it, he pulled you onto his lap, so you could rest your back against his chest. Goosebumps started to rise on your body, the contact between your bodies sending shivers up your spine.
“Can I touch you, darling?” He whispered in your ear, and you nodded. You were quite inexperienced when it came to intimate things like these, never having had sex or a boyfriend before. His hands first found your waist, sliding down to your thighs. He massaged them, working his thumbs into your skin. You couldn’t help but gasp at the sensation, making him plant a soft kiss on your ear.
“Let me take care of you.” He added, his hands leaving your thighs to travel up towards your breasts. Tom stopped before he reached them, and as you nodded, he cupped them in his hands. First tenderly massaging them, then rolling your hardening buds between two of his fingers. You gripped his thighs, arching your back as you moaned at the way his hands perfectly worked your body.
“That feel good?” He grinned, one arm now holding you around your waist to keep you pinned on his body. “So good. Don’t stop, please.” You whined, closing your eyes. The sensations went straight to your core and you felt yourself become wet. It all felt so wrong, yet you couldn’t get yourself to stop him.
Almost as if he sensed, his hands found their way to your aroused cunt, sliding one of his fingers through your slick folds. “Even under water I can feel you become wet. Want me to help you make you feel so good?” Tom queried, his fingers finding your clit. “Yes please, want you to touch me.” You whispered desperately. On command, Tom softly started circling his fingers around your puffy nub, eliciting soft moans and gasps from your lips.
His other hand never left your breast, still tenderly swiping his thumb over your erect bud. You felt yourself get closer to the edge, a knot forming in your lower stomach, ready to be set free. “More please, Tom” you begged him, bucking your hips against his hand.
“So needy. Who would have known?” He laughed softly, his fingers leaving your aching clit. You whined protestingly, but soon enough his finger slid down further, meeting your soaked entrance, which he traced. You squeaked at the unfamiliar feeling, water splashing around you. “Sshh. Relax. Gonna make you cum” he soothed. He entered you first with one finger, testing the waters. Soon enough a second finger prodded at your entrance, pushing into you as well. You hissed at the stretch, your body tensing up, thighs closing around his arms.
“Too much?” Tom asked you, his fingers stilling inside of you. You shook your head sligtly. “No but be careful, please.” Tom nodded. “Of course.” He slowly but surely set a slow pace, stretching you out perfectly. His other hand now slid down to meet your needy clit again, circling it.
“Tom m’ gonna cum!” You exclaimed, the feeling getting overwhelming, yet amazingly good. He sped up, murmuring sweet encouraging words into your ear.
“Come for me. Make me proud.”
Tom curled his fingers, rubbing the spongey spot inside of you. The knot inside your stomach tightened and soon enough you convulsed around his long fingers, clenching them so tightly even he groaned. Tom worked you through your orgasm, only stopping when you squeaked and closed your thighs around him. He then slowly pulled out of you, making you whine at the now empty feeling. “You did so well, darling. Such a good girl.” Tom praised as you relaxed against his warm body.
“Thank you, Tommy.” You smiled, earning a scoff from him. “You know I hate that name.”
With one quick motion you got up, turning around to now kneel between his legs, facing him. “I am sorry, Tommy.” You grinned, squealing away from him. He was quick enough to grab your arm, pulling you towards him again. “Little minx. That’s not how you treat someone who was inside of you less than two minutes ago.” He hissed, kissing your forehead. A blush spread on your cheeks, and Tom reached out to massage your scalp. “Want me to wash it out for you?” He questioned, and you nodded.
The whole seven years at Hogwarts you could have never fathomed the boy you despised like no other washing your hair, just after he made you cum on his fingers. He did it so tenderly as well, you could have fallen asleep right then and there.
“Want to get out? The water is getting cold, darling. We can’t have you getting sick.”
“Make it warm again, please. We aren’t done.” You said, kneeling between his legs again. He raised an eyebrow. “Wanna make you feel good as well, please.” You pouted, sliding your hands up his thighs.
“You don’t have to. It’s your birthday after all.” Tom grabbed your hands, stopping you.
“Oh, it’s alright if you don’t want me to.” You awkwardly tried removing your hands from his grip, but he didn’t let you. “Listen to me. I do want you to. I want nothing more than that. All I am saying is you don’t have to.”
“I want to”
“Okay then.” With a quick wave of his wand the water was warm again and you got to work. Your soft hands found his erect length, taking it in your hand. First, you swiped your thumb over his tip, making him throw his head back, groaning slightly. He rested both of his arms on the tub, letting you do your job. Your hands wrapped tightly around his cock, slowly stroking him up and down. “Good girl.” He praised, one hand finding your tits.
You continued your ministrations, going faster, paying close attention to his facial expressions. After a few minues, you could feel his cock twitch in your hand, a sign he was getting close. Then, you stopped.
He looked at you then, furrowing his eyebrows. “Don’t stop.”
“Stand up, please.”
Tom did just that and he grinned when he realized what you were planning. “Didn’t know you were such a dirty girl. Fuck.”
You continued jerking him off and he stroked your hair.
“Gonna cum, darling.” He warned you, groaning, and you opened your mouth in preparation. Soon after, hot streaks of his release shot straight into your mouth, some of it decorating your face. You made sure to milk him of every single last drop and kissed his tip afterwards, swallowing.
“That was quite the show. Filthy girl.” Tom lowered himself back into the water, pulling you onto his lap so you were facing him. He planted kisses on your collarbone, trailing all the way up to the corner of your lips.
“You got a little something there.” He smirked, swiping his thumb over your soft skin. “Open your mouth.” And you did, sucking his finger clean, never breaking eye contact.
He shook his head, grinning.
Both of you now just enjoyed each others company, holding each other close. You could feel and hear his heart thudding from where you had placed your head, relishing the intimacy between you two.
“Why did you come in here?” You questioned after some time, savoring the warmth of the water in combination with the heat radiating from Tom’s body. Your fingers drew small circles on his chest, until you rested your palm on his warm skin.
“Because I don’t want us to hate each other anymore.” He replied softly, kissing your forehead.
“I don’t think I ever hated you.”
“Me neither. I had all these girls running after me, wishing it was you.”
You smirked, tilting your head up to look at his face. His lips were so perfectly shaped, plump and had a perfect color. You leaned into him, and he closed the gap, capturing you in a breathtaking kiss that had your mind spinning.
“I am afraid I can’t let you go anymore after this.” Tom sighed, never breaking eye contact.
“Then don’t” you smiled, cuddling into him again.
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DogDay x Reader part 11
<;-----part 10, part 12----->
A/N: Ik DogDay has human looking hands but I just like calling them paws and the term for the equivalent of a finger to a dogs paw is called a digit so I used that in the story. Okay I'll stop talking now.
I sat on the examination bed in anticipation. It’s been four weeks. Four weeks of being trapped at my parents' house. Four weeks of having to deal with my mother pestering me every day. Four weeks that I worried that Damian might not be at Playcare anymore. And four weeks that I haven’t seen DogDay.
A knock interrupted my thoughts. “Miss Y/N?” The door opened and the doctor came back with the x ray results. I’ve been doing everything I needed to heal properly and return to work. “Alright Miss Y/N, good news! It seems like you are healed up completely and no longer need to wear a boot.” “Yes!” I covered my mouth and apologized for my sudden burst.
“No need to apologize. Seems like this is an early Christmas present for you.” “Indeed, it is.” I was overjoyed then. I can finally leave my parents' house and go back to work! The doctor prescribed me some medicine just in case I felt any pain later. I thanked the doctor, went to the waiting room and saw my dad looking at a newspaper.
“I’m back.” He looked up from the paper and smiled before folding down the paper. “Hey kiddo. What’s the verdict?” “All healed up.” He smiled and nodded while standing up to leave the clinic. “You know your mom will be hurt that you’re all better; she’s hoping you’d stay with us till’ New Years.” “Sorry not sorry.” My dad knew what I meant when I said that, and he understood why I said that. “Just be careful when you go back to work.” “I will.”
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Unlocking my door to my place felt so nice. I smiled and sighed as I walked in and shut the door behind me. “Hello home.” I said to no one in particular. I noticed that by the door there was a lot of mail. I should’ve had one of my parents come by and collect these for me. I picked them up and started going through them. “Junk, junk, junk, more junk-wait a minute.” I went back to the previous envelope and took another look at it. It was addressed to me; Angel.
My heart began to race as I ripped open the envelope. “My darling Angel, it has been almost four weeks since we last spoke. I hope that you are feeling better and that you will be able to return to us soon. Yes, that’s right Angel; us. Damian is still here.” My eyes were watering up as I read. Thank the stars Damian was still there. “And don’t worry my Angel; BB has stayed far away from me. Her helper Edward was a little peeved that we kinda sorta ruined her fur, but I don’t really care.” I chuckled. I knew he would be upset with that.
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I finished reading DogDay’s letter and went out to the fabric store for his gift. In his letter he said he had a gift for me and that he was excited to give it to me. I looked up a pattern online for what I wanted to make for DogDay and hoped that they had what I needed. Shopping near Christmas is a very hit or miss kinda situation.
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I was practically jumping in excitement as I saw Playcare. It looked so decked out with decorations. In the center where the statues of the Smiling Critters were at was a Christmas tree. As I got lower into Playcare I could see garland wrapped around the Bron lamps. There also seemed to be snow. Not real snow but fake snow for the children. The cable car soon came to a halt, and I exited while carrying DogDays gift in my hand.
There were some children running around, sleighing down the hill, building snowmen; it warmed my heart to be back. I looked around and spotted Damian up by the duck pawn with Miley. I smiled and started making my way up to them when I heard Hoppy call out to me. “Hey you’re back!” She hopped over to me and gave me a tight hug. When she set me down she shouted, “Hey kids! Angels back!”
All the kids that were outside stopped in their tracks and looked over to me and Hoppy before saying, “Angel!!!” The kids ran up to me and surrounded me while asking me questions and hugging me at the same time. “What happened?” “Why’d you leave?” “Did you die?” I did my best to hug each child that came up to me. “I had an injury and needed to go away for a while and no I did not die, haha.” “Miss Y/N!” I looked up and saw Damian was in the back of the crowd.
I excused myself from the kids around me and made my way towards Damian. Once I got close Damain tackled me in a hug almost making me lose my balance. “You’re back!” He said while crying. “Damian! I’m so lucky I got to see you again. I was afraid that you wouldn’t be here; but after reading DogDays letter and knowing that you were still here, I was counting down the seconds that I could return to you both.”
Hoppy tapped on my shoulder while saying, “Don’t mean to interrupt but I wanted to tell you something.” I let go of Damian and turned to face Hoppy. “So, you know how in the show Belle and the Beast waltz? Well, I heard from CatNap that DogDay has been wanting to do that scene with you and so he and Sarah have been practicing since she’s about the same height as you and he can't remember how you guys waltz before. They’ve been practicing once a week, and you are here on the day that they practice so I think it’ll be a good surprise to have you be seen by DogDay then.”
I really wanted to see DogDay now, but I liked what Hoppy had suggested. “Okay, I’m in.” She clapped her hands together before grabbing onto my hand and leading me to the school. “Awesome! Now we just have to hide you until bedtime; that’s when they rehearse.” Damian and Miley followed behind me as we entered the school. “Where is DogDay?” “He’s been couped up in your office. He assigned me to your guy's group. You not being here really took a toll on him.” My heart sunk when she said that. He would probably be a little better if I had written back to him. Once I see him, I’ll explain why I couldn’t and hopefully he won’t be upset.
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Hoppy led me into the cafeteria and told me that this is where they practice at. “Mmmk, now you’ll just wait behind these curtains for a while while I go and find Sarah to tell her about the plan.” I gave her a thumbs up and she took Damian and Miley back with the rest of the kids. They both said they wanted to stay and watch, and she said they could if they could solve a math problem, she gave them. They both groaned in disappointment, but I chuckled. I’d have to have either Sarah or Hoppy record us, that way I can show them later.
Once they left I sat down behind the curtain still holding DogDays gift in hand. I then thought about what to give Damian. After a moment of thinking I thought of the perfect gift. I wouldn’t give it to him tomorrow since I didn’t know how long the process would be, but I knew he would happily wait for it. I got on my phone and searched up how to adopt a child from Playtime.
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I fell asleep while waiting for DogDay and Sarah to come and the sound of DogDays voice woke me up. “Angel should be back any day now so let’s do our best tonight, Sarah.” “Um before we start, I have a suggestion. Why don’t I go put on something similar to what Y/N will be wearing, that way you like don’t step on her dress when she’s here.” “That’s a great idea Sarah! I really appreciate you helping me out with this.” “No prob.” I heard Sarah saying while popping her gum.
I listened closely as Sarah left the cafeteria but then heard another set of footsteps near me. “Psst.” I looked over and saw that it was Hoppy. “Here.” She handed me the dress that Belle wears. “Go ahead and change. I’m gonna go out there and dj.” “Thank you. Oh, and here, take my phone.” I handed her my phone and she winked at me before leaving to give me privacy to change.
“Hey there boss.” I could hear Hoppy say to DogDay. “Hoppy? What are you doing here?” “Oh I’m just here to dj. Sarah asked me to help with you guys tonight.” DogDay didn’t say anything but I’m guessing he was okay with this. “Now you just face this way alright?” “Um why?” “Don’t question me.” I then heard the music start to play. Suddenly, my hands felt sweaty. “Alright come on out!” I swallowed and opened the curtain.
DogDays back was to me. Once I saw him I felt calm and no longer nervous. Hoppy was grinning and she pulled out my phone and started recording. “Hey that looks like Angel's pho-” DogDay stopped mid-sentence and slowly turned around. He turned and once he saw me his tail began wagging. I stepped down from the stage and walked over to him. Once I got close to him, I curtsy and said, “May I have this dance?” He wiped away a tear and bowed while saying, “It would be an honor to dance with you, Angel.”
I motioned him to come a little bit closer. “I don’t remember the dance.” I whispered while laughing. He laughed to and said, “Not to worry Angel.” He picked me up and had one arm around my waist; and the other paw held my hand. “I’ll lead~”
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The whole moment felt magical; even though it was really just DogDay waltzing. Once the song had ended, he dipped me down and stared at me with such happiness. He then lifted me up and then we both saw CatNaps tail lower above us holding a mistle toe. “Go on! Kiss her! You know you want to! Haha.” Hoppy was still recording us. “You don’t have to tell me twice Hoppy!”
DogDay closed the gap between us and kissed me on the lips. I closed my eyes and kissed him back. After a while we pulled back for some air. “I’ve missed you, Angel.” “I’ve missed you too. I’m sorry that I didn’t respond to your letter. I had no idea that you sent one and-” DogDay put a paw finger (digit) up to my lips while saying, “Shh. We can talk later. Right now, I just want to kiss you~” I smiled against his paw finger (digit), and he moved it away and kissed me again. “Oh I’m totally gonna show this to BB and KC.”
A/N: Reunited at last.
#sinnersweets#poppy playtime#x reader#dogday#dogday x reader#poppy playtime chapter 3#hoppy hopscotch#catnap
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parker's lab buddy 🕷 - p. parker
hi y'all! this is my first like piece of work so i am extremely sorry if this is so shit but i hope it's good enough for y'all to at least read to past the time! hope y'all enjoy!
summary: peter parker is ready to start his senior year but will it be fun...? genre: fluff (ish?) pairing: m!reader x peter parker (the spider-man himself) word count: 1.4K
today was a nice, brisk autumn day in the simple city queens of the great state of new york. the weather was a nice 57F, with the sky being somewhat checkered with clouds that casted nice shade for the student of midtown high. one student in particular was walking down the cluttered halls of midtown high, who himself was mr. peter parker. peter let out a blissful sigh as he was making his way towards his next class. looking around, he saw some noticeable faces.
one face was his own right hand man, ned leeds. he was dressed in brown cargo pants and the usual muted navy blue colored hoodie his lola had gifted him last christmas. his bag was half open, but it went unnoticed as he was trying to talk to betty bryant, the head host of midtown’s broadcasting show. peter zoomed in, staring at betty’s facial expressions which did not look good whatsoever.
rushing over, he stood behind the pair, listening in to his best friend somewhat ruin his chances with they blonde.
“and y’know- vader wasn’t really a bad guy! just heavily misunderstood!” he exclaimed, almost buzzing as he continued to ramble on his all-time favorite sci-fi movie. the blonde mindlessly nodded, snapping out of her trance as she saw the brunette make his way towards his friend. she smiled, waving at him causing ned to turn.
“hi peter!” betty chirped, smiling at him as he returned it. she then pulled out her phone, opening her recording app as she aimed it towards the other’s mouth.
“my sources say you dropped from the school’s decathlon, why is that?” she interrogated, practically shoving her gray cased phone into his rosy lips. peter’s eyes darted towards his best friend, who sheepishly laughed as he avoided the secret hero’s gaze.
peter chuckled, shrugging as he gripped his backpack straps, his head moving away from the phone.
“w-well, y’know, i got a new job helping my aunt may so i kinda couldn’t really do all the things i do.” he answered, cheering himself in his head from his well-composed response.
“what things?” she pushed, raising her left eyebrow. the sudden new question made the “jumpy” teen freeze. by the change in his body language, the blonde smiled.
as he was about to answer, the halls were filled with a piercing call that caused many students to immediately disperse. betty huffed, putting her phone away as she stared at peter and ned, who had exchanged a small glance before she leaned into ned’s face. the boy jumped, his face somewhat turning red as she eyed them both.
“i’ll figure you two out eventually.” she whispered, before turning on her heel to catch up to her other friends.
peter let out a small sigh of relief, glad that his cover wasn’t blown. collecting his thoughts, he then turned his attention to his friend as he punched the other boy’s shoulder gently. he was still getting used to his powers after having to fight off about one petty thief last night. ned winced, rubbing his right shoulder looking at his friend.
“sources? sources, ned!” peter whisper yelled, looking around the hall to make sure they were in the clear. ned sputtered, shrugging as he gripped his soft green backpack straps. this seemed to be a habit the boys shared when they were caught. it was an easy tell for them both considering one was literally spider-man.
“i was just talking about star wars! then she was asking me on you and it slipped, promise. i would never betray my-” he looked around carefully, “superhero best friend.” ned whispered happily, nudging him. peter rolled his dark brown orbs, smirking as he nudged his friend back.
“come on, we’re gonna be late for physics.” he reminded the other, both making their way to their first class of the school year. as they made their way down the hallway, peter’s hair then stood on end on his neck. his spidey sense began to tingle, alerting him to a new ‘danger” or “disturbance” in the force. looking behind him, peter saw a student he’s never seen before. as he eyed him, peter’s senses began to almost deafen him. shaking himself out of his own head, peter made his way to class with ned with one thought in his head…
was he really gonna have to fight on his first day of school?
⋆。°✩
as the two walked into the lab classroom, the two took a deep breath and smiled at one another. the smell of chemicals, the sights of beakers and more practically excited the two. the two saw empty tables in the back, both making a beeline towards the back.
ned made his way inside, sitting on the left side. as peter was about to slip off his backpack, his good ‘ol buddy flash thompson immediately sat himself down onto the stool, setting his checker backpack onto the floor at his feet. peter stood there dazed, looking at his friend as thompson looked up at him. he stared at him, coughing into his fist as he chuckled.
“uh, parker? i know i’m great but you can’t copy me the first day of school.” he said, chuckling at flash’s own friend who was behind ned’s seat. flash exchanged a look with ned, who was left a bit in shock but not really surprised. behind ned, a small cough was let out. turning back, he made eye contact with a burly teen, who nodded his head to the left. ned nodded, slowly removing himself from the stool. ned and peter stood a bit annoyed, yet again, not really shocked that he would pull this on the first day of school.
the bell rang again, signaling that class was in session. the class teacher, mr. roger harrington looked at the two and only standing boys.
“uh, boys? if you wouldn’t mind taking a seat?” he hinted, both aiming at the empty seats in class. the two nodded, both now somewhat embarrassed that their first day is now off to a great start. in the middle of the class, there was an empty seat one closer to the board, next to one student and in the back, there was an empty table. peter slowly made his way to the back table, not looking back. sitting down, he had seen that ned has made his way to the other table, accidentally separating the two. mr. harrington clapped his hands, smiling at all his students as he was ready to begin his lesson.
ned’s hand shot up, hoping to ask to sit next to his partner in crime, yet mr. harrington eyed him as he let out a soft sigh.
“now ned, you know once i start my lesson, i can’t stop for anything other than necessary questions and bathroom breaks.” he reminded him, causing ned to drop his hand. the tan boy looked behind his shoulder at the other, mouthing a small “sorry” as he smiled at him. peter shook his head, chuckling as he sat in the back and took out his notebook. looking down into his bag, his hair began to stand on end again. peter’s spidey senses shot into overdrive, making him shoot his head up. the oak door creaked opened and soon walked in the school principal. trailing behind was the same boy from earlier, with a black book bag on one shoulder.
“oh! principal morita! what a pleasure it is to see you! happy first day of school!” mr. roger’s chirped. the principal smiled, waving “hi” to the students as he had one hand placed on his hip. stepping towards mr. harrington, morita had whispered softly about a new “transfer student.”
the boy stood nearby the door, eyeing the two adults. while he was eyeing them, peter had his eyes on him.
the other teenage boy seemed more calm than nervous. most kids would be at least somewhat jittery or shy, but not him. he didn’t budge at all. peter took in everything.
he noticed the boy’s skin color, the way his eye color had somewhat lightened due to the sunlight and fluorescent lights of the room. he also made a mental note on the boy’s hair color and his height.
as he continued to stare and zone out, he was snapped out of it when he heard…
“why don’t you sit next to peter. peter, raise your hand please.” mr. harrington announced, causing the teenage hero to shake his head. peter turned red, seeing everyone’s eyes on him as he slowly raised his hand. the teacher extended his arm in parker’s direction, smiling at the new student as he trudged down the aisle.
removing his book bag, he sat down on the stool. peter was practically laser focused on him, his hair still on end. his gut was telling him something was wrong.
sitting up right after retrieving his pencil pouch and notebook, the boy turned to the other and smiled softly. extending one hand to him, he spoke gently.
“nice to meet you peter, i’m [y/n].”
peter didn’t smile, but darted between the hand that was towards him and his eyes. peter’s brain began to run a million scenarios in his hand and only one thought…
i guess he was going to fight on his first day of school.
⋆。°✩
hope it was a good read! the spider man i went off of was the one you see above so everything written towards him in this piece is basically things i can get off of the actor.
i guess this is like a part by part story? i didn't wanna make it too long for my first one TT
if y'all notice any like weird continuity issues, i deeply apologize because this one takes place during the time of the first movie/vulture era and i barely remember the plot of it so i did my best
#gay fanfiction#m!reader#spiderman#peter parker#male reader#mxm#x male reader#peter parker x male reader#avengers x male reader#peter parker x male!reader
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Winter is coming ❄️
What are the energies awaiting you for the upcoming winter? Which messages and advice does your spirit team wish to convey to you in preparation for this time of the year? To find out, select one of the following groups either based on the number or the picture.
Group 1 Deer
6 of wands, knight of swords, The Lovers, 4 of wands, ace of wands, 6 of cups
Oh dear 😉 group 1 it seems like this Winter season will be a lucky time of the year for you. You may be receiving communication that you were waiting for and that will make you extremely happy. This may be especially true if you were hoping for significant progress within a romantic connection. If that is your case, your person of interest may very well be willing to kiss your under the mistletoe this Christmas. Whether you were in separation or not, the flame will be rekindled and this connection may very well be taking a new turn. If you were mere acquaintances this could progress into a solid crush. If you were casually dating, this person may be asking you to be their lover. If you were in a relationship for a while, they may be proposing to you a form of commitment. I feel like this is something you had been fighting for for a while now, which will feel like a major victory for you. If we’re not talking about a person, this could be about a project that was very dear to you. Possibly something related to your childhood and your home. So for instance, and this may be very specific so take what resonates, if you were hoping to buy your childhood home to keep it in the family and pass it down to your children, you may be able to this Winter. You may also be invited by your parents to spend the Winter with them for those of you that are living away from your loved ones. Overall I pick up on various good news and a very good energy to be celebrating and spending good times with the ones you love. You are encouraged to remain optimistic and cherish the good vibes. Keep working toward your goals, don’t be afraid to express your love and needs around you and enjoy your Winter.
Group 2 Rabbit
Justice, 9 of swords, ace of swords, World, Wheel of fortune, 2 of wands
This Winter you will be gaining clarity about a situation that was troubling you. This could have been a work situation, something about your health, about your family, friends or partner. This could be anything. It could have involved legal procedures but this doesn’t have to be the case for everyone. I feel like though the first part of Winter may be challenging and tiring you will quickly gain momentum and get back on track. Major change is coming into your life. You may be travelling during Winter and making new plans for the future. I feel like for a lot of you this could be work related. Maybe you were jobless and desperate to find a new contract. If that is the case I see you getting a job away from your home. For some of you, you could have applied for a project or a school and were waiting to see if that worked out. You may receive an official reply that you have been accepted provided that you pass a test or an interview. Some of you may have to travel to deal with legal matters. Perhaps these legal issues do not involve you directly but a family member. These will only be temporary. You are asked to trust the process and keep your calm, make sure that you get the rest you need and keep in mind that better days are coming. You are strong enough to overcome this situation and you have what it takes to turn the wheel and create your luck.
Group 3 Sparrow
Tower, 4 of pentacles, 4 of wands, knight of swords, 2 of swords, Judgement
An unexpected event will lead you to having to re evaluate everything in your life. This is something that you will not see coming and it may be difficult for you to adapt in this situation. Your life will be completely turned upside down and this may feel like a bad thing at first because of the suddenness of this change. This may be related to your finances and/or your home. The event may take the shape of a letter or a mail that you didn’t expect. It could be a legal decision regarding your job, your home, a relationship of any kind. You may feel confused and at a loss of what to do. You may feel insecure and want to cling to your former state. Spirit is asking you to let go and let yourself be guided to whatever next stage follows this upheaval. There will be people and instances that you can rely on and you are encouraged to solicit those. Communication will be extremely important in this situation. Winter may be a very challenging time for you, a period of transition in all areas of your life. You may have to suddenly move out of your home, change your job, change your status from committed to celibate or vice versa, depending on your situation. You aren’t necessarily losing something per se. Rather I feel like you are gaining something but that something is uncertain for now and may vary depending on your case. It’s like your plans are being countered by the Universe’s prerogatives. Though this may be frightening you will later on understand why this was necessary.
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partners in crime – j. changmin
after a series of unpredictable events, you and ji changmin, the foster kid with a shady reputation, become partners in crime. in a world where every choice has a consequence, you two must decide how far you're willing to go as you balance on the edge of danger with the promise of a better life.
pairing: ji changmin x fem! reader
genre: criminals au. coming of age, slice of life. angst, hurt/comfort. thief! changmin. partners in crime au (duh). slight high school au. inspired by a real case of robbery in a jewelry store here lmao. also loosely inspired by the kdrama extracurricular!
wc: 33k (33.689)
warnings: mentions of alcoholism and juvenile behavior, swearing, changmin's character is a little inconsistent at first. changmin is a foster child, dysfunctional families, financial issues, yn's father is absent. mentions of minors going on dates with older men, a man trying to take advantage of the reader, a physical fight (with the use of a knife), fake gun, robbery and that should be it...?
playlist || teaser || ao3
a/n: i had worked on this fic since december and only finished it at the beginning of may i am so glad it's finally out TT thank you SO much to my best friend @csenke for beta reading this, your comments were what made me feel more secure about this fic to actually post it. i know it's a lot of work and i appreciate you<3 i always wanted to write a fic like this and it's finally here, i hope yall like it hihi taglist: @songchan @luumiinaa
One of the police officers drags you up from the chair by your shoulder, urging you to move outside of the room. The one that’s been sitting opposite of you smiles sadly at you– something akin to sympathy, but not enough to really get through and hit your core– while the other one opens the door and shoves you down to sit at the plastic chair outside of the office. His movements are more stern and strong, tone of voice more stingy when he talks to you– it’s not hard to differentiate which one of them has kids at home, which one knows the tired eyes of a teenager more.
“Wait here until your mother picks you up,” the officer says, a stone cold look making you shiver.
“She doesn’t know that I’m here. You called her and she didn’t pick up, so–”
“I don’t care, young lady. Either your mother comes to pick you up, or you stay here forever, for all I care,” he mutters, sending you another one of his sharp looks before he turns around and disappears back into the room you came from, shutting the door behind him with a loud thud.
Figure jumping at the sudden noise, you settle deeper into the uncomfortable chair. Christmas will come earlier than your mother, and that’s a lot to say, since it’s March– and it seems that nobody really cares if you stay here forever. It’s not surprising, actually. Not at all. You don’t know what you were thinking anyway, but hey– desperate times call for desperate measures, and you had no other way of going around the situation. You don’t regret trying. You just regret getting caught.
Head resting against the hard wall, intending to rest your eyes closed and maybe take a nap before a miracle happens and your mother somehow starts caring and appears on the doorstep of the police, your orbs are met with another pair sitting opposite of you, silently watching the previous exchange. The intensity of his gaze almost makes you jump in surprise again, only relaxing when you recognise the owner of the dark chocolate irises and visibly shudder, embarrassment creeping up your neck.
It’s not every day you meet a guy from your school at a police station. Well, it’s not every day you end up at the police station, but being caught by someone who is aware of your existence makes this whole encounter even more uncomfortable.
“Didn’t expect to see you here,” Ji Changmin chirps, something akin to an amused smirk appearing on his face. His composure is light. He seems to be comfortable with the situation– well, as much as you can read from his blood-smeared face– and you start to wonder how and why your silent classmate from English class would end up at the police station, with a cut on his lip, a bruise on his upper jaw and scraped knuckles on full display, as he rests his intertwined hands in his lap.
“Could say the same about you,” you shrug, biting back at him.
“Oh please,” he snickers, shaking his head in disbelief, “I’m a regular here.”
The sentence catches you off guard. It’s not every day you meet a guy from school at a police station, but considering his words, it seems like you would meet him here every day, only if you were dragged here by rough hands of a police officer as often as he has.
“Oh,” you gasp, not really knowing how to react to such a confession, “good… to know…?” you mumble, nodding to prove your point.
You expect the conversation to die down– you don’t really know what to talk about with someone you barely know at the most unusual place you could imagine for a conversation. Ji Changmin is one of the classmates you’ve never talked to before, but would say hi to when passing them by on the street. He seems polite and easy-going enough to not feel uncomfortable with when left alone in a closed space together, but aloof enough to not have many friends himself. You barely know anything about him– apart from his marks in the one class you share, since you are often chosen to be the one to hand out graded tests at the beginning of English– and you don’t expect things to change just because you met him in unfortunate circumstances.
At least you know this won’t get out in any way. Not like you have any reputation to withhold in the first place– you’d just hate to have the reputation of someone being chased around by the police. Trying hard to find the light in the things, you thank all higher forces that out of everyone, the one classmate that could witness all of this is the guy with seemingly no friends to tell.
Changmin seems to have different plans, though. For someone that isn’t interested in making bonds with people, he seems to be interested in casual talk with you.
Well, if you could call this casual.
“Yeah,” he shrugs, “they always let the kid from the foster house get away with it. They blame it on the trauma, or something, make me sign some papers and then someone comes to pick me up and the cycle repeats itself over and over again.”
The information catches you off guard. Truth be told, you didn’t know that about Changmin– you doubt anyone from school really knows, except for the teachers, and the sudden confession makes you hesitant. You don’t really know why he’s telling you this. If you were in his position, you’re sure you wouldn’t. It seems like everyone has a different measure for what’s appropriate to tell someone you barely know, though, and Changmin seems to enjoy the weird intimacy of the quiet police station enough to dump this information on you.
“Oh…” you say, chewing on the inside of your cheek. Not wanting him to think you’re distressed with the information, disturbed, even, you try hard to think of a conversation topic to discuss with him. “What… what did you do this time, then?” you ask, mentally slapping yourself for being so awkward.
“Tried to pickpocket someone on the street,” he says, chuckling to himself. His eyes move to his bruised hands, shrugging. “Seems like I picked a bad victim. See, he had this fancy watch, so I saw him as a jackpot, but then he swung at me and… here I go,” he says, laughing as if it was a funny story.
He must be a regular here. He is too comfortable with being arrested to not be.
“That’s… unfortunate,” you hum, watching as the boy in front of you shrugs, eyes curious as they land on yours.
“It is… I could buy so much with that money,” he sighs, shaking his head, “what about you, though? How did you end up here?”
“Oh, uhm…” you gasp, scratching the back of your neck, suddenly a little shameful to admit it once you’re asked, “I… I tried to steal something and I was caught by the store owner, so he called the police on me…” you tightly smile, hoping to seem nonchalant.
“Shoplifting?” Changmin chuckles. “What did you want to steal? Designer clothes, or something?” he snickers, obviously mocking you. And it’s valid– you are a teenage girl, after all. You seem to have everything you need in your life, but that’s only because you don’t let anyone even suspect that there is something wrong. To an outsider's eye, they might think there is nothing more you could need to be happy if not designer clothes or jewelry. It’s what most teenage girls get caught stealing– you guess he’s not wrong for making such a guess.
Still, you feel a bit hurt at seeming so vain. Locking eyes with the boy, you shrug. If he’s going to share every small detail of his life with you in the comfort of the walls of the police station, you guess you can unveil at least something to him, desperate to make him feel ashamed for assuming.
“No, actually,” you say, the tone of voice suddenly calm and collected, “I was stealing groceries.”
And it finally seems to down on him– because if you try to steal something, it means you’re lacking it, right? Why would you steal something you can easily buy?
That’s right– you wouldn’t.
Changmin’s eyes soften with the realization, his mouth opening to say something– anything– before he’s cut off by the door to one of the offices opening, the kinder one of the policemen approaching you with a solemn look in his eye, leaning towards you to talk quietly into your ear.
“You can go home now, okay? We’ll let you off with a warning this time,” he says, smiling at you.
“But my mother–”
“Just go.”
You guess the object you’re stealing makes a difference in the way you’re treated at the police station. Also, you guess it’s good that people still have sympathy.
Usually, you hate the sad looks from people that are aware. This time, you leave the police station comforted, happy to know that you still have a future without a criminal record.
You’ll have to be more careful next time.
Eyes catching the glimmer of the silver chain in between your fingers, you press your skin into the metal and drag your nail over the stones in the pedant. You watch over the glass vitrines situated all around the store, various different shades of gold and silver staring back at you, almost laughing to your face with the prize tags slapped onto them, showing prices worth more than your groceries for the month.
Contemplating your next decision, looking behind your shoulder to catch the security camera watching you, you think over your next steps. Angling your body so that it’s shielding what you’re doing with your hands, you gently take out the drawer that you’ve taken the silver chain out of, pretending to put the jewelry back where you got it from.
Your movements are careful, calculated. You’ve rethought this plan over and over again, birthed in your mind the moment you saw the sign ‘hiring’ on the glass door of the fancy jewelry store in the town center– made adjustments to it, tweaked it around and tried your hardest to make a good impression on your boss so she wouldn’t suspect anything– but now that you’re actually in front of the important part, the one that’s supposed to help you the most in your hunt for money, you can’t really bring yourself to do it.
Who knows. Maybe you could just keep the job– you don’t make much, though, considering you only work part-time. With the way your shifts are scheduled and the amount of time you have to put into working, you don’t really see the jewelry store as a good source of income– you are barely home and have time for anything.
And it’s not the kind of money you need. Not at all.
Sighing to yourself, you shake your head to clear it off all thoughts– it’s time to do it. You can be sneaky. You can be uncaught. You just have to put your head to it.
Fingers shaking, you move the chain towards the front pocket of your jeans, ready to hide it in there and then sell it in the pawn shop a few weeks later to not raise much suspicion– when the sound of the front door opening brings you out of your thoughts, making you jump in surprise. Eyes snapping to the customer entering the store, you get ready to sport the kindest, warmest smile you can– to seem innocent and not at all suspicious. However, the grin stops growing mid-way as you recognise the appearance of the customer, smile freezing and turning into a concerned frown.
This is not how you’d expect a customer of a fancy jewelry store to look.
The person is dressed in black, skinny jeans adorning their thighs, the hood of their jacket pulled over their head and a mask covering the bottom half of their face. Before you get a chance to dwell on it any further, they take out a gun– and they point it to your face.
There’s a moment in time where you feel like everything freezes. A moment in time where you just stare the gun into its eyes and wait for the person to shoot you, a moment in time where you can’t even think. Your brain clears, the only thought present at the tip of your tongue being– this is not how I imagined to go.
Your hands start shaking as you put them above your head, pupils dilating in terror. You guess this is something you should’ve expected when taking the job in an expensive jewelry store, but even though you’re aware a situation like this could exist in your timeline, you don’t really expect it. It’s like that with all bad things in life– you keep telling yourself that there’s no way something like that would happen to a person like you.
There’s no way your father would leave. There’s no way your mother’s world would crumble. There’s no way you’ll be left in charge of everything. There’s no way you’ll have to be the one to steal groceries because you can’t afford to buy food to put into your sister’s mouth.
There’s no way a man would pull out a gun on you in the middle of your shift.
And yet, it happened. Everything.
In a moment of absolute terror, though, it feels like the world starts spinning again and the force clutching your chest relaxes a little when you stare into the man’s eyes.
Strange, isn’t it?
There’s a sense of familiarity in his gaze. Something mirroring a weird kind of surprise, a weird kind of recognition. A million different thoughts flow through your brain, eyes scanning his figure– the skin of his hands as he grips the gun that you now recognise to be one of the kinds you use when you play airsoft, not a real one– the lean posture of his figure, but most importantly, the spark in his dark orbs that somehow invites you to do everything he tells you to. Not because he’d kill you if you don’t– but because somehow, you know this might be of gain for you.
Trying hard to play out your previous panic, riding off the erratic heartbeat in your chest, you walk over to the cash register and open the drawer. Eyes meeting with the intruder, you precisely take out the bills stacked in the register, throwing them on the counter in a careless, yet seemingly nervous manner.
“The jewelry,” he mumbles, pointing towards the vitrines with his chin, waiting for you to obey his words.
It doesn’t take you much to take out the drawers full of silver and gold, letting the man take whatever he pleases, his bag filled with expensive chains and rings, all while he keeps the gun on you to get the full effect.
You could be given an Oscar for how good your acting performance was in this very moment.
Your eyes lock in another meaningful gaze, one that suggests that all cards are on the table now and you share a secret you will never be able to shake off, before he disappears out of the store into the dark. Acting stunned for the camera, you only reach for the phone when you’re certain he’s far enough to not be caught, dialing 911 and telling the line all about the robbery.
Ji Changmin chose the bad jewelry store to rob.
Or maybe, he chose the best one he could.
You find him sitting on one of the tables with built-in benches at the corner of the school yard, alone and seemingly lost in thought. His eyes are dark, deep as the ocean, the black bangs falling into his eyes only helping more with pushing his mysterious appearance. The tie around his neck is a little loose, since Changmin was never the believer of wearing your school uniform properly, and when you approach him, he barely notices your presence.
Clearing your throat, you finally catch his attention. The male stares up at you, raising his eyebrows in question, as if to ask you what you want from him. And it’s valid– as you’ve never been the one to talk to him first, since he was the self-believed outcast in the school (and self-preserved too, since he never really made any attempts at connecting with others) – but you think that after your recent encounter, you reaching out to him is not something that shall surprise the boy. More so, he should’ve expected it.
“Changmin,” you hum, as if to tell him that he should be the one to talk to you first, the one to bring up the matter. If you really think about it, he should apologize. If not for making you lose your job (which was mostly your fault, because you didn’t make the attempt to call the police on the thief fast enough), then for the emotional damage and very obvious trauma his little play could’ve cost you, had you not recognised him and the fake gun aimed towards your forehead.
“Y/N,” he smiles, the tug of his lips almost looking ironical. He looks like the Cheshire cat, mischief almost reeking of him as he pats the place next to him on the table, legs resting on top of the bench crossed, showing his casualty. “Fancy seeing you here,” he says, and with that, you know he sees right through you.
He knows damn well why you came. Hell, it would be weird if he didn’t. He also knew that you’d come crawling to him first, almost taking advantage of the fact that he has the upper hand on you with knowing the information you confided him with at the police station. No person that steals groceries is a millionaire, after all. Only someone who desperately needs the money goes ahead and steals something so trivial.
Maybe it's a bit of an asshole move from Changmin, if you really think about it. You let him get away with it, and now, he’s pretending like you owe him one, not the other way around.
“What do I owe the pleasure to?” he asks, tone of voice laced with irony. He is almost a little too lighthearted for someone who robbed a jewelry store just three days prior, and it suddenly makes you wonder if he’s done this before. How often does a boy like him just run around town and steals things from big corporations? You’re all for the eat the rich agenda– it’s just a little weird to think about how skilled Ji Changmin looked in the act. How calm he was. As if he’s done stuff like this before. As if he was an expert.
Was this his hobby? A way to pass time?
“Cut it out, Changmin,” you grunt, tugging the edge of your skirt down as you sit on the table next to him, covering your thighs, “you know why I’m here.”
“I’m afraid I have no idea,” he hums, pursing his lips and acting out a perfectly staged face of surprise. If you could punch him in the face right now, you’d do it. You didn’t notice the boy to be so smug back at the police station– maybe it was your own distress shielding your judgment.
“Come on,” you roll your eyes, sighing. “I didn’t let you off just to have you laugh in my face about it. Where’s my cut?” you ask, feeling a little impatient at this point.
“Your cut?” he asks, chuckling. “I wasn’t aware you were the one doing the dirty job, you know. All you did was let me off because you were scared–”
“Of your airsoft gun? Mhm, you are so correct,” you cut him off, noticing his face spread into one of irritation. A crease appears in the middle of his eyebrows at your reaction, his jaw hardening when he sees the annoyance in your eyes. You don’t know what he was thinking– that you’re just gonna leave him off with all the money? He couldn’t be that stupid, could he?
“Look, it was me who did the work, so I don’t understand why you would think that you get a cut,” he shrugs, crossing his arms at his chest.
“You do understand that I can just walk up to the police station and tell them that it was you?” you say, suddenly turning stone cold and serious. You thought yours and Changmin's little secret could do you something good– now it seems that you were wrong. “They wouldn’t bat an eye before sending you to jail, I bet. They have hoards of evidence of your past criminal behavior, but I don’t think they could overlook this one–”
“Now, don’t get all threatening on me, sweetheart,” he grunts, kissing his teeth. “There’s no reason to get all defensive–”
“Oh really!” you exclaim, catching the male off guard as you stand up from your seat, suddenly too heated to be in his presence. “I do believe that I have all the right to get defensive, though! You know damn well I didn’t do this so you can run with the money and spend it on fuckall! Because guess what, Changmin– I did this to get something out of it. Not everyone gets to go around and do stupid shit for fun, so you best believe that when I basically became an accomplice to your crime, it wasn’t just for shits and giggles.”
The male opens his mouth to reply to you, but before he gets a chance to do so, you continue, running your hand through your hair. “And if you think that I steal groceries for fun, then you’re terribly wrong. So if you don’t let me take the part of money I rightfully deserve by basically dropping the hundred dollars worth of jewelry right into your grabby hands so I can survive for the next few days, you best believe I will do something about it.”
There’s a moment of silence between the two of you, the only thing heard around being the chirping of the birds and the sound of the wind hitting your eardrums. Your hair gets in your face from the strength of the breeze, the fabric of your school uniform’s skirt ruffling against your thighs. It’s like the world stopped, something behind Changmin’s eyes changing at seeing your obvious distress. You’re really starting to think this was all a game for the boy. Something to pass the time– something to occupy his bored mind with.
He doesn’t reply to you even after a few seconds, though, which makes you even more mad. The anger is tinted with disappointment and fury as you turn around and shuffle your feet through the school yard, accompanied by the sound of the school bell in the distance announcing your next period. You’re ready to leave the boy there, already thinking of all ways you could go around telling the authorities without ratting yourself out in the process too.
Suddenly, something comes into contact with your wrist, pulling you back. Your legs stumble a bit, but you manage to stand your ground and throw daggers with your eyes at Changmin still holding you in your place. “Let me go–”
“Look–”
“I have class, Changmin,” you grunt, attempting to take your hand out of his grasp, but failing. His hold is firm. Unpainful, but strong. It makes you annoyed.
“Will you listen to me for just a second? Gosh,” he rolls his eyes, dropping your hand as if it was poisoned, shaking his head at your antics. You stare at him with raised eyebrows, waiting for what he has to say after having the opportunity to speak before, but ignoring it altogether and leaving you with the cold shoulder. Did he change his mind in that split second you showed him your back? Did he realize you were serious with your threats?
“Of course I’m gonna give you the cut,” he grunts, scoffing. “What do you think I am? I was just keeping it for some leverage.”
The question sounds a bit ironical out of his mouth, since he spent the last couple of minutes trying to convince you that you have no part in his little robbery and that you have no right for the money he gained from it. The other half of his statement makes you intrigued, though. Not in a good way– just in a way that makes you wonder what the fuck he was talking about.
“Leverage?” you ask, squinting at him in question.
“Well,” he starts, staring at the sky for a split second, as if collecting his thoughts into coherent sentences. Scrambling for something in the back pocket of his pants, he takes out an envelope seemingly filled with cash he’s gained, offering it to you, but retracting his hand as soon as you start reaching for it. “Let’s say I have a bit of a plan for us two. A plan to make even more than this,” he says, pointing towards the envelope.
Squinting at the male, you scoff. As if you would ever agree to something so reckless. If this interaction with Ji Changmin taught you anything, it’s that the boy is not to be trusted. You can’t read him. You can’t tell when he’s joking or when he’s serious, you can’t tell if he’s going to save you or throw you under the bus the moment he has a chance to. And if his plan is anything similar to the ways he’s shown himself to you before, you’re fairly certain that you want nothing to do with his endeavors.
“Yeah, no, thank you,” you say, snatching the envelope from his hand and turning on your heel, ready to leave before he changes his mind again and takes what’s rightfully yours out of your grasp, like the thief he seemingly is.
“Think it over, Y/N. You said you need the money,” he calls after you, not making a move from his previous spot in the corner of the yard. His words sting you a bit, but you guess he’s not wrong– no matter how embarrassed or ashamed you feel of the situation. The outside of the school is completely empty now, everyone back to their classrooms waiting for the lectures to start, letting his words resonate in the stranded field. “I think we could make a very good team.”
Not looking back, you walk through the grass, taking a look at the amount in the envelope. You don’t know the exact ratio he split the money into, since you don’t really know how much he earned after selling everything at the pawn shop, but it’s more than you expected.
More than you would’ve made with your initial plan.
Still– you want nothing to do with Ji Changmin. This only happened once, and you’ll make sure it never happens again. Associating yourself with someone like him will do you more bad than good in the future, and that’s something you really can’t afford right now.
No matter how hard he tries to persuade you, you two will never be a part of the same plan.
Lunch breaks are almost always spent alone lately. Or at least that’s how it’s been in the last few months, the last few years. It’s not like you don’t have any friends or acquaintances to spend them with– you’re not that antisocial– it’s just a lot easier to mask the fact that you have no food to put into your mouth when nobody pays attention to whether you eat or not.
The last amount of money you could afford to spend was pressed into the palm of your younger sister when you walked her to school today. There was no way for you to buy something at the canteen, and the last groceries that were edible were eaten last night. There was no way you could satisfy your hunger during the lunch break today, and to spare being embarrassed by the fact that you are barely holding your life together (since you’re 17 and taking care of everything), you decide to spend the few minutes in between classes in the school yard, sitting in the grass at the far corner of the school property.
Your eyes are pressed into your notebook, scribbling away as you try to pass time and ignore the pain in your stomach, chewing on the inside of your cheek in a bad attempt at focusing onto something else. When the sketch of the tree to your right turns out badly the third time in a row, you sigh and scribble all over the little drawing, wanting to see no more of it, wanting it to disappear. The very moment the tip of your pen lifts off the paper, something falls into your lap, the sound of a plastic bag rustling in the wind making you jolt in surprise.
Taking the item into your hand, you notice the sandwich wrapped in a tissue paper staring back at you, as if you wished it to existence and it fell into your lap from the sky with the sheer impact of your thinking. After more consideration, though, you look around and find a raven haired boy looking down at you, an indifferent look adorning his face.
“Changmin,” you hum, acknowledging his presence.
“Y/N,” he nods, taking a seat next to you on the grass, completely uninvited. His invasion of your personal space makes you sigh, but his gesture makes you even more frustrated. Pointing towards the sandwich he threw into your lap, you ask.
“What is this?”
“A sandwich,” he shrugs, “I bought extra, we can share.”
A heartbeat passes of you and him having a staring contest, something inside of you turning bitter at the otherwise nice gesture. Is he making fun of you? Or does he pity you?
You hate both alternatives– you almost can’t decide which one you despise more.
“Look, Changmin,” you scoff, shaking your head in disbelief, “I don’t know what the fuck you’re trying to do right now, but I am not your charity case. Just because you know I’m too poor to buy my own lunch, it doesn’t mean you can humiliate me and do it for me,” you grunt, throwing the sandwich back into his grip. He catches it with no trouble, fast reflexes working on full time.
“I didn’t get it to humiliate you,” he says, rolling his eyes at your antics. It seems to be hard for you to accept actions of service from people– and Changmin somehow understands. He’s been through it with people around him his whole life. They show him any kind of kindness or pity for the fact that his parents decided he wasn’t good enough to keep and threw him into the adoption system, and Changmin feels himself crawling out of his skin. He doesn’t need pity. He hates the considerate looks.
But after years of living that way, he learned to use those instances for his advantage. There’s no excuse as useful to getting him out of trouble as “I’m sorry, I live in a foster home.”
“Yeah? Then why did you?”
Changmin sighs, closing his eyes and paying more thought to how he’s going to reply to you. Speaking with you feels like working with a wild animal– any bad step could shoo you away, or make you attack. He doesn’t want either of those options. Actually, he wants something completely else. “It’s a bribe, really,” he shrugs, watching you and waiting for your reaction.
“A bribe?” you scoff, your chuckle almost sounding amused. “I already told you I want nothing to do with your plan, so you can take your stupid sandwich and fuck off.”
“I’m persistent when I want to be,” he just replies, watching you with an unmoving expression.
Ignoring his antics– as if to test how persistent he really can be– you point your eyes back towards your notebook, scribbling random lines and shapes into the thin paper. There’s only so much silence he can bear before he realizes you won’t pay him a minute of your time, you think, but the more you scribble away and the more the birds around you chirp and the distant voices of kids enjoying their lunch break preserve, the less confident you are in your assumption. Ji Changmin is a strange individual.
“Look, we don’t have to lie to ourselves now, Y/L/N. You know shit about me that could get me to jail, and I know shit about you that you don’t just show to everyone. Involuntarily, but I know that stuff,” he starts, tone of voice almost careful, almost a little caring as he speaks. “You and I both know you need money. And me? Well… I could use some cash too,” he hums.
When he doesn’t get a reply, he continues with his little speech. “You need money and I have a plan on how I’m gonna get it for you. For us. But it will only work if us two do it together. It’s a foolproof plan, but I need you on-board,” he says, clasping his hands together. Glancing up from your paper, you watch him with examining eyes.
He repays you with eye contact, as if speaking to you through his orbs. There’s a hint of understatement in the air, an aura of a connection you don’t quite comprehend yet, but suddenly, the presence of him in your personal space feels less invading and more… alleviating. Like you’re not judged, like you’re not pitied.
Your stomach churns and Changmin chuckles, offering the sandwich back to you. There’s a moment in which you contemplate your next decision, knowing that if you take the food from him, it’s your own way of sealing the deal. You have no idea what his plan is, you’re completely unaware of what you’re getting yourself into– for all you know and predict, it’s not going to be the most legal thing under the sun– but the more you think about it, the more you come to the conclusion that with the way your life is going right now, maybe you don’t have that much to lose.
“So? What do you say?” he asks, eyes lighting up when he notices your lack of resistance. “Will you at least hear me out?”
The wind makes his raven bangs move, revealing his forehead. He looks like he has a thousand tricks up his sleeve, hundreds of ways to get his way, no matter what he wants. He looks as sly as a fox, messy exterior with his tie loose around his neck, dress shirt a little wrinkly around the collar. Ji Changmin looks like he’s bad news. Like he can never bring you any good.
You should stay away.
Still, you take the sandwich into your grasp, hand fishing for the food in the green plastic bag. Biting down into the seemingly homemade lunch, you avert your gaze into the sun.
“What is it, then?”
“So.. what do you do for work?” you ask, twirling a strand of hair around your finger as you sit facing the man you don’t even remember the name of, a plate of fancy food in front of you almost untouched even though you’ve been starving for multiple days now. Truth is, you don’t really know which fork and which size of spoon to use when having those meals, since you’ve never been to such an expensive-looking place before– and even though you think your current date doesn’t really mind, you don’t feel like adding public humiliation to the list of your worries.
“Oh, I do real estate, honey,” the man replies, smiling at you with something sly in his eyes. Everything about the male sitting currently in front of you irks you a bit. The very obvious power imbalance in between the two of you, the age difference, the different social class… The fact that he only sees you as a young girl to spoil and get to do something more for him– no matter the fact that you’re underage. Judging by the way he kept getting into your personal bubble the moment you arrived at the restaurant, you’d even say he was enjoying the fact.
You were told to act gullible and stupid. Men like him like that, apparently, and so, despite your best judgment and everything you know about life, you do just that. “And what is that?” you ask, eyes big and curious, putting on your most innocent face.
“Buying land and then turning them over, renting places, all kind of stuff,” he nods, “a lot of money gets around in this sphere, sweetie,” he adds another sugary nickname to the mix, making the hair on the back of your neck stand up all alert, disgust slowly creeping up your neck, but thankfully never reaching your mouth.
“So you’re a landlord?” you ask him, the last remains of your personality shining through as you bat your eyelashes at him, trying hard not to focus on the chest hair peeking out of his opened dress shirt. It’s quite difficult to do when the golden chain around his neck blinds you with every movement, the surface illuminating in the beams of the sunlight.
God. You should’ve chosen a more attractive male to trick, at least.
The male laughs in shock, not really anticipating such a title. Maybe he’s offended, but still, he doesn’t let it show as he looks you over– mainly your cleavage and the girly way you managed to style your hair today– before he sighs, as if disappointed, yet happy to show you that you were wrong. “Not really, no. I’m a real estate investor, actually.”
Gasping, showing that you now completely understand what he’s trying to explain to you– that he’s basically a landlord, but hates being called that because it isn’t such a fancy title– you take another sip of the champagne in your glass. You’ve never drank before, and quite frankly, you hate the taste of alcohol on your tongue, you despise it with everything in you. If it was your choice, you would’ve ordered orange juice, or something– it seems that the man in front of you would hate nothing more than if you sat in front of him without a tall glass in between your fingers, and so you satisfy his sly looks and leave a lipstick stain on the rim of the champagne flute.
The breeze plays with your hair, sun kissing your exposed shoulders as you bathe in its light. You wore your prettiest sundress today– the one that you only grew into this year after inheriting it from your older cousin– and while you did feel pretty when you looked at yourself in the mirror, you’re not really satisfied with what you’re currently doing. Nothing makes you hate yourself more than working for money like this. Nothing makes you loathe your reflection in the mirror more than hanging out with old rich guys for monetary gain– no matter how beautiful you feel with the dress you got from your cousin three Christmases ago and the sandals you’ve owned since 15 and had thankfully not yet grown out of.
There’s one advantage to sitting outside of the fancy restaurant, though– and that is the fact that your plan is going smoothly. The man’s bag is on the chair next to him, just like Changmin predicted, and although it took you some time convincing him to sit at the table on the edge of the veranda, you’ve done your part in entertaining the male, making sure he’s as distracted as he can be.
Eyes averting to the right, seeing your accomplice with the hood of his black hoodie over his head, a mask over the lower part of his face, you lock gazes in what seems to be some silent kind of communication. One wouldn’t notice him if he hadn’t tried hard enough, but Changmin’s been standing on the other side of the road for as long as you’ve been sitting in the restaurant, keeping an eye on you. He’s dressed all in black, looking all mysterious, but not eye-catching enough for anyone to be suspicious of his presence.
Raising your eyebrows at him only in the slightest manner, making sure your date doesn’t notice you nonverbally communicating with the teenager on the other side of the street, you get your reply from Changming almost immediately, a nod of his head sent your way to start your little plan.
Ready, yet a little stressed of executing it, you clear your throat and focus all your attention back on the male in front of you again. He’s currently talking to you about something you have yet to grasp, not really interested in the first place– but doubting you’d know what he’s talking about anyway. After hearing a part of his little speech, you conclude that he is mansplaining something to you, and although the fact would make you infuriated with any other male in your presence, you think this is a perfect opportunity to dibble more into your little school girl play. (As if it was a play in the first place.)
Nodding at him, showing that you’re listening, you put on your best doe eyes as you reach over the table and enclose your palm around his. You haven’t watched enough movies about this to know how to flirt with a man, but you think it comes to you naturally as you part your lips the slightest, biting on your lower lip in a sensual manner. It’s inappropriate, not at all something you should be doing at your age with a man at least twice your age, but you can’t help it– if you need the plan to run smoothly, you need all his attention on you and you only.
And it works. It does, you conclude as the man runs his thumbs over your hands and gently pats your leg with his under the table, feeding into your actions. His eyes are focused on your lips and you suddenly pray for Changmin to work quicker– fast enough for the man to not find an opportunity to kiss you, at least. Your brows furrow the tiniest bit, on purpose, of course– to look more dumb, to look more in love and enchanted with the male in front of you– when you notice a figure in black passing the two of you, their hand slipping easily into the opened contraction of the male’s bag.
Changmin works fast. It seems easy to him, you can see it in your peripheral– there’s no wonder that he’s done this countless times before. You wonder why he likes this kind of adrenaline. You wonder how he even taught himself– how he even came to the conclusion that he should try something like this in the first place. Either way, you must admit that it’s kind of admirable. Kind of cool.
You see Changmin taking out something from the man’s bag, and just as silently and unsuspiciously he came, he also disappears. You let the man play with your fingers for a bit more until you’re sure that your partner is a safe distance away from the restaurant on the other side of the street again, before you lock eyes with him, being let off with a victorious crinkle of his eyes.
“Will you excuse me?” you hum, tone of voice laced in sweetness, puckering your lips as you cut the male off, something about an annual turnover hanging in the air as you don’t let him finish. “I have to use the toilet,” you say, already breaking contact with him.
Unsuspecting, the male only nods at you, letting you off. You can almost feel his eyes watching every move of your ass as you walk back to the building. As your feet enter the interior of the fancy place, you don’t even aim for the bathroom– Changmin checked it before you arrived to the restaurant, chewing on his lower lip in distress as he announced to you that there’s no windows in the stalls– and so you take yourself straight to the other side of the room, taking the other exit out. “Look, it’s even easier, Changmin. I’ll just walk out the other way,” you reassured him, concluding the last step of your little plan.
Feet shuffling through the red velvety rug, you pay no attention to the waiters watching you as you walk through the big dining hall, escaping through the other door without looking back. Ji Changmin is standing on the other side of the street, taking off his initial place as soon as he saw you safely inside of the restaurant, waiting for you to rejoin him and celebrate the end of your successfully finished mission.
Running towards him, a smile breaks onto your face. Changmin stays in his place, not going as far as reaching you midway.
“Did you get it?” you ask, raising your brows at the male.
Wordlessly, the boy shows you a leather wallet, taking it from the right pocket of his zip-up. A gasp escapes your throat at the realization of just how easy this was– just how fast you gained a stack of cash you can use to survive another week. Sure, you still feel a bit weak in your knees, you still feel like your blood pressure is a bit high, but the thought of the green notes soon secured in your hand makes it all worth it.
“Let’s get out of here before he notices,” Changmin says, tugging down his face mask and reaching for your elbow, dragging you to the opposite direction, away from the restaurant.
Somewhere along the way, you start to run. There’s a sense of childlike wonder in you. A sense of excitement you shouldn’t feel from stealing money from someone unsuspecting. Sure, you could argue that the rich person in the restaurant doesn’t need the money like you do– he has enough of it to not even notice its absence– but it was still morally wrong.
It was still a crime. But hey– you’re only 17 with a seemingly big weight on your shoulders. So if getting the money you need in an illegal way takes some of the pressure off your back, you think you’re not so wrong for being excited about the success of your little plan.
Changmin catches up to you, his face mirroring a weird mix of annoyance and disbelief. He understands, though. The adrenaline of your first act of successful crime is a moment one doesn’t forget. “Wasn’t that hard now, was it?” he asks.
And when you lock your eyes with him again, a foolish laugh escapes your lips. Maybe he was right. Maybe this was the way to go around things.
Maybe it was good to accept his offer. Something about the inkling in his eyes tells you that he won’t betray you.
Standing in the middle of the aisle, your eyes soaring from the pack of gummy worms you wanted to buy for your little sister and the chocolate bar you’ve been wanting to eat the whole week, you roll the coins in the palm of your hand around, as if counting them over and over again is going to make more money magically appear in your possession. Ji Changmin (who for some reason decided that by being your partner in all things illegal, he has to be glued to your hip at all times when he has nothing interesting to do), standing next to you, sighs at your composure and clicks his tongue on the roof of his mouth.
“Y/N, Y/N…” he hums in disapproval, almost sounding disgusted at the fact that the logical thing hasn’t appeared in your brain yet, “I see you need a bit of a lesson in shoplifting, yeah?” he whispers into your ear, his breath hitting the side of your face and making you jolt away from him.
“What?” you whisper-shout, punching him in the shoulder. “Don’t be ridiculous. What we do is already enough. I’ll just pick one,” you say, rolling your eyes at the fact that your new friend always somehow finds a way to make everything an illegal act. It really must be his hobby at this point, no?
“Whatever you say, sweetie,” he shrugs, but the more he watches you move your eyes from the gummy worms towards the chocolate bar, noticing the sparks behind your eyes every time you eye the rich cocoa treat wrapped in red plastic and the fondness behind your gaze when you eye the sour worms, the more he’s convinced that you’re going to go with his previous proposition. Once the temptation is there, it’s hard to resist it.
And he’s right. A mere second later, you eye him with pleading eyes– as if to silently say ‘okay, you win. Now teach me how to do this thing,’, and that has the boy chuckling at your antics.
“Okay, newbie,” he nods, patting your back. “First thing first, the number one rule of shoplifting is: always choose a gas station. Check! Why? Frankly, the people working here are underpaid university students that could care less about the company they work for, so as long as you’re not too obvious with it, nobody is going to run after you.”
Nodding, showing that you’re following, you wait for the actual tutorial. “Step two,” he says, voice loud enough only for you to hear in the empty store, “look casual. Walk around a bit. Pretend you’re contemplating your choice of treats– check. Wow, Y/L/N, it seems to me that you are a born natural!”
Rolling your eyes at his useless comment, you sigh. Changmin seems to get the hint that you want to know how to actually shoplift, and not how to prepare to do the thing, and so with his next tip, he is a bit more specific, which you welcome with open arms. “Okay, okay. So, now you wanna look for the cameras. Try to look for any blind spots,” he says, casually glancing around the store.
You follow his motions, trying hard to stay as unsuspicious as you can, and before you can say anything or try to find the blind spots he was talking about, the serpent-like boy tugs you by your forearm into another corridor. Your hands are now covered by the regals, only the tips of your scalps visible under the security camera, and before you know it, Changmin ushers another order into your ear.
“Now, take the more expensive thing and put it into your pocket,” he says. That has you pointing a sharp gaze to him, question marks accompanied by exclamation points striking into his skull, which has the boy utter out a quick explanation to your very confused state. “Trust me. Putting it into your bag is way more suspicious,” he hums, looking around the gas station and pointing his gaze towards the energy drink stand in front of you, acting as if he was contemplating on buying one for himself.
Hesitantly glancing behind your shoulder, finding the coast clear, you chew on the inside of your cheek before you swiftly put the pack of gummy worms into your pocket. Clearing your throat to signal to the boy that you’re done with the task at hand, he turns his head to you and raises his brows, smiling. “Are you ready to pay, finally?” he asks, his voice now a little louder. You think it’s to not cause any more suspicion, since the two of you have been murmuring amongst each other for the past few minutes.
Humming, feeling a buzzing in your fingertips, heart quickening– you’re really doing this– you nod and let your friend lead you to the counter. You’ve tried shoplifting before, of course, but the last time you did so, you were dragged by your hair to the police station, so you think you have all the right to feel the tiniest bit paranoid when trying for the second time. There is stress settling to your shoulders when you awkwardly shuffle to the counter and put the chocolate bar in front of the cashier, but when you notice the fact that Changmin was right and the clark was barely paying attention to the store at all– there was Candy crush turned on their phone behind the POS machine– the nerves seem to fall off a bit.
“Cash or card?” the girl behind the counter asks– she is chewing on a gum and her neon pink hair is falling into her eyes. She seems a few years older than you, but she seems to be still in college. There are dark circles under her eyes– she seems tired. Not letting yourself to shield your next actions with the usual waterfall of empathy, you clear your throat and try to speak up with the most casual voice.
“Cash,” you peep, taking the hurdle of coins back from your pocket– the one that doesn’t currently hold a pack of gummy worms– and quickly count the sum of money you need, putting it onto the counter.
“You need a receipt?” the cashier asks, completely uninterested in her job. You can tell she has this situation rehearsed– she must have been working here for a while.
“No, thank you,” you nod, taking the chocolate bar into your grasp and spinning on your heel, following Changmin on his way outside of the gas station. Before the door closes behind you, the boy heaves out a cheerful ‘Goodbye!’ which has you mirroring his actions, yet your walking still speeds up with the weight of wanting to be outside and done as soon as possible.
You never know. What if she noticed and a policeman will come and catch you at the last minute for stealing those gummy worms? You can’t afford getting a criminal record– this won’t land you any job in the future.
As soon as your figure moves outside of the building and you’re sure you’re not being followed by anyone and there’s no police cars parked in front of the gas station, you feel the weight of the situation finally leave your physical form, your breathing finally becoming more normal. Changmin glances at you over his shoulder, a grin spreading over his features, patting your shoulder like a proud father.
“See? Wasn’t so hard now, was it?” he asks, having you roll your eyes at him.
“I’m sorry, man,” you snicker, “I still have some PTSD from that one time…”
“It takes a few tries to perfect the art, I get it,” he says, nodding as if to admit your struggle. It’s hard to believe Changmin has ever failed at anything he tried before– in all situations you’ve encountered with him, he seemed completely capable and knowing. It’s as if he’s been doing this his whole life– and for all you know, he might as well have been.
“Well, not everyone takes joy in doing illegal activities like you clearly do,” you sigh, having the boy look at you with furrowed brows.
Unknowingly, you lead the boy towards your house. He doesn’t seem to mind walking with you, and although you did just commit a crime, you’re happy with the comfort of not having any committed against you– a girl in her school uniform walking home in the evening is an easy target for all men who’d love to take advantage of you and fulfill their dark fantasies. It’s funny to admit that you feel safer with Ji Changmin walking you home, but it’s also a natural cause of the fact that you two have been working together on fake dates with rich men for a few weeks now. (So far, you’ve gone on three. They all worked and went by the plan. You suddenly question why you didn’t say yes to this plan earlier.)
“Living in the foster home makes you fight other people over everything, Y/N-ie. Over food, old donated board games, treats, clothing, parents…” he chuckles at that, a bitter tone coating his words, “my point is… If you don’t take what you want forcefully, it will be taken out of your grasp one way or another. And if that piece of candy is stolen from you by an older kid at the foster home, you’re gonna have to find a way to get yourself one as well,” he explains.
You feel a little embarrassed for assuming. Changmin doesn’t reveal much about himself to you. Neither do you. For this reason, you’d describe your relationship with the raven-haired boy like something similar to being coworkers. You don’t tell each other about your personal lives, you don’t talk about your issues or intentions. All you know is that the both of you need money, so you’re willing to work together to get it.
The sudden confession hangs an uncomfortable air of vulnerability over the two of you. It’s strange– hearing him chuckle so bitterly about his situation, seeing the shift behind his eyes when he realizes what he just said. You don’t really know what to say back to him– do you console him? Do you try to play it off, ignore what he’s just said? Before you have any chance to take action, though, the boy clears his throat and does damage control on his own. (Which is probably for the best. You wouldn’t want to overstep any boundary– so you’ll act according to his.)
“But after a while, it became kind of fun, yeah,” he laughs, shrugging. “I like the adrenaline rush.”
“You’re a freak.”
“A freak with useful tactics,” he points a finger-gun at you and winks, making you roll your eyes at his misplaced pride, but laugh along with him nonetheless.
It’s good to make fun of your situation sometimes. Didn’t someone say humor is one of the most useful coping mechanisms? Or maybe a sign of unhealthy coping mechanisms? Well, one way or another– you have to cope with it some way anyways. A little joke never hurt anyone.
“Half of that is mine, by the way,” he points towards your favorite chocolate bar in your grasp. “I earned it by helping you get it,” he says, content face beaming at you in mischief.
His features are a little sharper under the yellow lampposts, his dark hair falling into his eyes making shadows appear under his eyes. He looks like a cunning fox– much like always– but you think you’re growing used to the charm. “What?” you huff, face scrunched up in frustration. “I bought this, actually, so–”
“So you’re telling me you would’ve chosen the chocolate bar, had I not opened your eyes to the wonders of shoplifting?”
“What does that even have to do with anything–”
“Exactly what I thought,” he nods, taking the chocolate bar out of your grasp and tearing it open, not even sparing you a chance to defend yourself, “if I wasn’t there, you’d buy the gummy worms, so the fact that you bought this is my work and I deserve a half of your treat, thank you very much.”
“How can you even be so sure–”
“Y/N?” a thin voice calls for you, making you stop the little petty argument you’ve been having with your crime partner and look around, noticing both facts of the reality at once– one: you’ve reached your street, and two: your little sister is watching you from the doorway of your house, big eyes worried and hair tousled.
She’s still wearing the clothes she wore when you sent her off to school in the morning, and by the way she keeps chewing on the inside of her cheek, you know that she hasn’t eaten. She always does that when she’s hungry and doesn’t want you to know. A pit opens up in your stomach at seeing your sibling in such a state, and although it’s not as uncommon as you’d like to say it is, you know you have to put up your big sister act.
“Aerin-ie? Has mum not come home yet?” you ask, watching as the little girl walks out of the house and through the pathway of your house, standing only a few meters away from you.
“No,” she shakes her head. You’re not surprised by the answer. Maybe, you’re not even disappointed anymore. You learned not to have any expectations when it comes to your mother.
Sighing, you nod, chewing on your lower lip. “Go inside, we’ll eat something together and then you’re going to sleep, you have school tomorrow, okay?” you hum, tone of voice compassionate and gentle, the way you always talk to your sister ever since the issues started. There is no room for quarrel between siblings when you’re too busy making sure your little sister is eating well and going to school. There’s no room for sibling fights when you’re more of a motherly figure now.
“Okay,” she nods, but doesn’t move from her spot in the middle of the yard.
“Well? Go–”
“Is that your boyfriend?” Aerin asks, pointing towards Changmin. You momentarily forgot that he was still here, so when you finally take in his silently standing figure, it almost makes you jump. Waving your hands around in panic, not wanting your young, gullible sister to get any ideas, you eagerly try to take her out of her lapse of judgment.
“God, no. No, no, that’s–”
“Hi! I’m Changmin!” the boy suddenly waves, smiling at your little sister. “I go to school with your sister.”
Aerin watches the boy with big eyes, as if scared. You understand her– Changmin doesn’t seem as the most approachable of people (although his smile does feel unusually warm and contagious right in this moment)– and she didn’t have much experience with male figures in her life to feel secure with any new men entering her life. Not that Changmin will be entering her life anyway– but you get the gist of it.
“You do?” she hesitantly asks.
“I do. Tell her to study more, because if she keeps it up this way, she’s going to have to go back to school with you and retake all the lessons for smaller kids,” Changmin hums, poking fun at you.
“Hey!” you thunder, kicking the boy into his shin in a weak attempt of defending yourself. “That’s not true!”
Hearing your sister laugh at your misery– an action you never thought would warm your heart up so much– you lock your eyes with Changmin only for a split second, and in that, you come to some sort of mutual understanding. You talk without words– you learned something about me today, I learned something about you today. Your secret is safe with me.
He doesn’t know the full truth of it all– quite as much as you don’t know about his life, but somehow, this evening brought you two a little closer. You moved from being coworkers to now being coworkers who know more backstory about each other’s lives, and you don’t really find yourself hating it.
“Y/N got something for you,” Changmin muses, pointing a finger to your pocket.
Somehow, he has it all figured out.
“Oh, right!” you gasp, taking the gummy worms out of your jacket and offering them to your little sister. Her eyes light up instantly, that kind of joy you only feel when you are 12 and presented with your favorite treat, and you get a solemn feeling on your insides comforting you– you’re doing all you can. She’s smiling. She’s still mostly unknowing.
“I heard they’re your favorite,” Changmin keeps talking to your sister. It’s a surprising sight– how welcoming he suddenly seems.
“They are! Y/N, can I have some?”
“After you eat dinner,” you nod, seeing the little girl furrowing her brows and opening her mouth to protest, a sense of blissful normality shielding you all from reality.
“But–”
“After dinner, Aerin. Now let’s go inside so you can sleep,” you hum, walking over to your sister, “you get fussy in the morning when you don’t get enough sleep.”
Something about your hand on her shoulder has the little creature moving closer towards your house, the two of you walking alongside each other through the pathway. Looking behind, you wave at Changmin. He offers you a gentle smile– one you haven’t seen on him before. It moves something within you.
He doesn’t know much, but somehow, he understands.
Before you close the door behind you, you mouth him a silent ‘Thank you’. The boy salutes you before he disappears into the dark.
“Do you want some lemonade or something?” you hum as you enter your house, tugging uncomfortably at the hem of your short skirt, throwing the knock-off purse Changmin got you from the donation bins at the foster home into the corner of the entrance hall. It’s midday, you are supposed to be at school and having your lunch break, but instead, you’re tiredly slugging home with your classmate tailing your back, done with yet another date.
“I’m good,” Changmin shrugs, “I’ll just have some water.”
“Amazing choice,” you nod, pointing towards the tap in your cluttered kitchen, “didn’t feel like making you a fucking lemonade anyway,” you sigh, watching as the boy helps himself to a glass of tap water and you get yourself a taste of the old coffee your mother must have made herself in the morning before leaving, furrowing your brows at the bitter taste.
After you’re done chasing down the thirst that’s accumulated in your throat, you walk upstairs into your room, followed around by the boy. There was a silent agreement between the two of you to let him stay over at least until the acceptable time to come back into foster home was– if he came before school ended, he’d get in trouble. (You wonder why he’s afraid of this and not the fact that he was dragged from the police station multiple times, but you choose to not question him anymore.)
It’s strange to have him in your house. It doesn’t make you uncomfortable, per se– you just wonder how much your living conditions say about you. It’s very clear that you don’t live with your father. He left shortly after your little sister was born and you haven’t seen him since– you wish you could say you don’t mind, because you never really had a good relationship with him anyway, but the truth is, maybe he was the whole reason for the downfall of your quality of life. The mess all around the house suggests that nobody has time or energy to clean it. You try your hardest to keep it relatively clean on most days, but it gets significantly harder when you also try to bring food home into the house.
If Changmin makes anything out of the state of your living, he doesn’t mention it.
Settling into the mattress of your bed, totally uninvited, he squints at your ceiling. You, on the other hand, turn towards your wardrobe and take out some comfy clothes– the preppy mini skirt you were dressed in before you left to meet up with another rich old guy was starting to get on your nerves. Turning your back to Changmin, you slip your blouse over your head and put on a big T-shirt, one of the clothes you got at the Dollar store when you grew out of your last pajamas, and after you dress yourself in comfortable sweatpants, you walk up to the boy with an outstretched hand.
A mutual understanding falls over you as he puts the leather wallet into your hand. Opening it, you flick through several credit cards, squinting at the owner’s ID– by the birth year on the card, you calculate that he was even older than he told you he was– before you count up the money and cut it in half, throwing the rest into Changmin’s lap.
The more often you do this, the more you wonder how it keeps working. It’s surprising to see just how many wealthy men are carrying cash around and being reckless with their belongings. Changmin almost never has any trouble with stealing their wallets– either when they’re not looking, or when the man foolishly leaves to the bathroom and leaves his bag behind on the chair. It’s like they’re inviting you to do it, at this point.
The more often you do this, the more you start hating yourself, though. There’s only so much objectifying you willingly submit yourself to before it makes you want to crawl out of your skin. If there was a better way to do things, you would.
Sighing, you open your sock drawer and sit cross-legged on the floor. Taking out the sock balls and unraveling the items of clothing onto your thigh, putting bills into them and rolling them back into neat balls, throwing them back into their designated place very un-Marie Condo style, you hear Changmin ask a question after minutes of watching you in silence.
“What do you need all this money for, by the way?” he asks. “Except for keeping your sister alive, of course.”
The question has you halting your movements, looking up at the male with a blank look. You two never discuss deep things– you two never talk about your lives and the reasoning behind your actions. You just do things and don’t think of consequences– you just get as much money as you can without telling the other one what you need it for.
Locking your eyes with him, you shrug. There’s a hint of understatement behind his orbs that shows you that maybe you can trust him. Maybe him knowing isn’t that bad– what could he possibly do with the information? You two know about each other’s crimes far too much to betray each other, you think.
“I… my family… we have debts,” you say, nodding to yourself. Chewing on the inside of your cheek, you chuckle before speaking up again. “My dad left shortly after my sister was born and then we couldn’t really afford paying for the house anymore. My mum refused to move, though, so she got another loan to cover the previous one, but it’s…” you drift off, remembering the day you found out the harsh truth only a few months ago.
You hear your mother’s sobs as you walk into the house after your classes, making your heart drop to your stomach. It’s not every day you hear your mother cry, since she tries hard to pretend everything is okay even though it’s not– and the empty bottles of alcohol waiting by the trash can every day are the clear sign of both that and her not really handling it well. This feels different, though. The crying doesn’t sound like someone pitying themselves once again– the crying sounds like someone in such a deep despair, hopeless and lost.
Socked feet shuffling through the house as you take your shoes off at the door, you find your mother crouching above the kitchen table, a glass in her hand. There’s a sheet of paper staring back at her from the void, the scene almost appearing in front of you in grayscale. You didn’t expect your life to change so much in such a simple afternoon. You didn’t expect to grow up with a click of a finger.
“What happened?” you ask, carefully approaching the wounded animal of your mother. You learned quickly after she picked up drinking that you need to handle the fragile woman with care. A bad word and she could break– an incorrectly crafted sentence and she could turn into a volcano, erupting with screams and swearing, cursing you out.
No answer reaches your ears, though, so your only resolve is to take the paper into your hands and read it over. And now, you’re no expert in legal things and contracts, but it doesn’t take a lot of knowledge to recognise a loan contract. It’s a company you don’t know, though– one of the not famous ones, one of the fishy ones that give you the money quickly– and before you even get a chance to read over the fine print at the bottom of the page, you already know you’re in deep, deep trouble.
The knowledge of trouble only intensifies when you come home to strange men escaping your house one day. There are no groceries in the fridge for a few days after, making it vastly clear to you that your mother simply couldn’t afford to get food for her kids to eat.
It only takes one crying fit and an argument with your mother to find out the harsh reality– your mother fell for a loan that is too difficult to handle, one that makes you pay back fast and with big amounts monthly. She already had a warning.
If she is late with her payment again, you lose everything.
“It’s… it’s difficult to pay it back,” you conclude, watching as Changmin only nods in understatement. The air around you is suddenly too heavy, but you figure the whole truth won’t hurt anyone. Maybe the weight on your shoulders would feel lighter if you finally tell someone– however selfish the sentiment feels. “If we don’t pay it back within the next few months, we will lose our house. My mother fell for a loan shark,” you say.
“All the years of her telling us to not fall for scams, and then she does this,” you mumble, trying to make fun of the situation.
“Y/N, that’s–”
“I was also thinking of leaving one day,” you add as you cut him off, not letting him psychoanalyze you or make you feel like he pities you. “I was thinking of getting enough money to settle all of this and then just… move out. Disappear. I need to get away from this house before it suffocates me,” you bitterly laugh, seeing the boy shift his eyes from the ceiling back at you, pressing his lips into a tight line.
“I get you,” leaves his mouth after a heartbeat of silence. Never in your life have you feared being judged as much as in this moment. It’s strange to face your biggest fear– being vulnerable with someone, opening up to them about everything you’re going through– and find that it wasn’t at all as difficult. It’s strange to face your biggest fear and realize that maybe, you had nothing to be scared of in the first place.
It’s strange to hear that you’re understood. That somebody gets just how hard it is to breathe every day, walking through the house you grew up in, but which is now haunted. If it was anybody else, you’d try to argue with them. How could they understand? How could they possibly know what is going on inside of your head on a daily basis? How could they get the extent of how far you have to go every day just to survive and keep your sister out of the mess, totally unknowing?
Ji Changmin may not know everything about you, he may not be in the same situation, but still; he knows how you feel. Coming from a background like that, you don’t get to keep a lot of freedom either.
“It’s… it’s a work in progress. I don’t really have a plan either, I just… I just know I need to save up enough to sort things out, move out and leave everything behind. I can’t… I can’t keep doing this forever, y’know,” you shrug, snickering to yourself.
Changmin hums in understatement, chewing on the inside of his cheek. He looks so out of place in the middle of your white sheets, dressed in his all black attire. The contrast of his clothes and the brightness of your laundry cuts through all major parts of your life as well– where there’s anxiety, there’s also Changmin’s ability to turn everything into a joke. Where there’s mess and confusion, there’s Changmin’s calculated plans and thought-out strategies. Where there’s loneliness, there’s also Ji Changmin’s sheer presence next to you during the lunch break. It’s strange, just how quickly you found comfort in the serpent-like boy. It’s unfamiliar. The novelty of it all both scares you and comforts you all at once.
The boy is silent for a while before he speaks up, processing the information. As if knowing that there’s nothing he could really say to make you feel better about the situation– or fearing that anything he could utter out would make it worse– he entrusts you with a secret of his own.
“If I don’t get adopted before I turn 18– which, let’s be real, with my history and everything, won’t happen– I age out of the system and I’m all on my own,” he says, shrugging, “I’ll need money to get on my own feet. To leave, too. Fuck, I need to leave that house and this town. I need to start over somewhere where they won’t know every single thing that happened to me in the past.”
You hadn’t realized just how much your plans align when you first nodded to this agreement. You think it adds a sense of reliability now. Both working towards the same plan, knowing that if you fail, the other’s fate is at stake as well.
Before this, you didn’t know just how serious it was for Changmin– you didn’t know if he needed the money on reckless spending, on buying drinks and cigarettes to chase down his boredom, or if there was a greater sense of ironical responsibility behind it all. Knowing that there’s so much on the table, so much of both of your future’s that are at risk if you don’t try your hardest to make your lives better– because no one else in the whole world will help you, it seems– brings a greater sense of alliance hang in the air between the two of you.
Shared secrets, plans, view of life. Shared responsibilities, burdens, desperation. That bonds two people like nothing else does.
“You can count on me, Y/N,” Changmin hums, tone of voice barely louder than a whisper. Your eyes don’t meet in the confidentiality of it all, but your heart still squeezes on itself. “I’ll get us out of this town even if it’s the last thing I do.”
The low murmur of the school cafeteria lands into your ears as you stand in the line for food, Changmin’s tall figure in front of you turning to face you, an annoyed sigh heaving out of his throat. “Now I remember why I never fucking go to this place.”
“Oh, right,” you nod, shrugging to yourself as if to show your absolute fury with the fact that you’ve been standing in the line for more than 10 minutes now, a third of your lunch break already passing by like a flash, “it was never because I was too broke. The line was always the problem.”
The male in front of you snickers at your ironic remark. You’re convinced you could count the amount of times you’ve been to the school cafeteria to buy lunch on the fingers of one hand. Most of the time, you take whatever remains of food you can find at home with you. Lunch money is reserved for your little sister only– and even that is on special occasions. Usually, you try to buy her the cheapest things you can find at the store downtown– the retailed bread that’s too old to sell at original price now, but still fresh enough to eat– but when you figure you have enough money in the week to spend, you give her enough to buy lunch at school. For you, buying your own warm lunch at school feels like a holiday. You’ve lived through more Christmases than cafeteria lunches, you think.
“Starting to doubt if it’s even worth it anyway,” Changmin fusses, folding his hands at his chest. You don’t think you’ve ever met a more impatient person than him. If things take too long, he gives up on them– like the line in the grocery store the other day. You made the mistake of inviting him to buy groceries with you, but when he realized the self-checkout lines were too long, he just carried your groceries out without paying, grinning at your shocked face the moment you unsuspectedly got out of the store. ‘It’s okay to steal from big corporations,’ he justified. ‘They won’t feel the loss.’
“Changmin, this is my first time buying lunch this year,” you sigh, “have some patience. Of course it’s worth it– it’s a celebration of our hard work.”
“Does this feel satisfactory?” he doubts, pointing a thumb behind him to show the line in front of you two– which, just by the way, moved a ton, meaning it’s gonna be your turn soon.
“Not yet,” you admit, chuckling to yourself, “but the feeling will come once I bite into the soggy, half-cold pizza. Trust,” you point a finger to him and poke him in his stomach, that has, just by the way, growled in hunger three times since you’ve taken your place in the line for food.
“Of course you chose to get lunch on pizza day…”
“What do you have me for?” you scoff. “I have some culture.”
“Says the person who hasn’t seen Train to Busan before. Girl, you’re the farthest thing from cultured, trust me.”
“You call Train to Busan our national treasure?” you ask, blinking at the boy in pure confusion. You don’t trust a man like Ji Changmin to be the film critic of modern age, to be fair, but you think even this opinion is quite far-stretched.
Changmin furrows his brows at you, clicking his tongue. “You’re only saying that because you haven’t seen the movie.”
“Well, I haven’t been given the opportunity to watch it, so I don’t see how that’s my problem.”
The line finally moves and lets you two get your lunch. The lady behind the counter looks even less pleasant than you remember her– with more gray hair and a more tired expression on her face– and the food isn’t much either even by looking at it. Still, you feel a sense of satisfaction run through your veins when you look at the sad-looking plate. You earned this pizza. This soggy, bad, a little shoe sole-looking pizza. You put a lot of effort into buying this plate, and although it doesn’t necessarily represent the determination, at least it represents the morality of your earned money– and you know what, at the end of the day, you think that’s fair.
Walking away to one of the empty tables in the cafeteria, carrying your tray in both of your hands and following Changmin’s lead, you feel your stomach churn at the image of the pizza on your plate. It sure doesn’t look great, but it looks edible– you still consider it to be a reward.
However, before you get a chance to sit down and bite into the meal, your side suddenly comes in contact with something firm, yet soft, the impact of the hit making you stumble and fall over to the hard linoleum. The tray of food you’ve had in your hands is knocked out of your grasp, falling to the ground with a loud noise, and the force in which you hit the floor makes your butt sting in pain. The moment comes by like a blur, and before you even get a chance to register what happened, a train of apologies lands into your ears.
“Oh my god, Y/N, I am so sorry, I didn’t mean to–” a boy a little shorter than Changmin (that’s just standing by your side, looking a little taken-aback, but still uninterested in the commotion, not at all trying to help you out), stutters out. You recognise him to be your classmate Eric Sohn– one of the people you’ve never really spoken to before, because you had no reason to do so. He is a loud extrovert, a people person, a bundle of never ending energy. He’s charismatic, but not someone you would find yourself hanging out with (not that you really hang out with anyone other than the criminal by your side anyway)– and a little inkling in your brain tells you that one of the reasons for this fact is Eric’s high social status.
“Are you okay?” he asks, offering you his hand to bring you back up to your feet.
Wincing in pain as you take his grasp and get back into a standing position, you wonder if he was running– there was no way the sheer force of him walking would send you to the ground. Once you take a closer look at the boy, you notice his blushing cheeks and an incredibly guilty look on his face, notifying you of the fact that you haven’t replied to him yet, still too shocked by the events. “I’m okay, yeah,” you nod, eyes shifting to the plate on the ground. It didn’t break, but your pizza slice is very visibly on the ground– and no matter how desperate you are for food right now, you consider it too contaminated to be eaten.
“I am so sorry, Y/N, I wasn’t looking where I was going– oh god, your uniform is all dirty,” he points to your white button-down, now stained with the last remains of the soup that was seemingly in one of the plates your classmate was carrying.
“It’s… it’s okay–”
“I’ll pay for you to get it dry cleaned!” he stammers, eyes wide and bangs falling into his eyes, the boyish, panicked aura around him making you feel kind of bad for him. Which is strange– you are the one in pain and without lunch now. Not him.
“No, really, it’s okay, Eric… It was an accident–”
“And your lunch is ruined! God,” he grunts, scrambling to pick up all the dishes from the floor, cleaning up the mess. “I’ll get you a new one. Just… wait here, I’ll be right back!” the boy assures you, running off with the trays and plates, aiming for the area designated for discarding them.
Like in a trance, you take a seat at the table, following Changmin. Scratching the back of your neck, you sigh and aimlessly stare at your companion, watching as he eats his pizza. Casually speaking the fact into existence, as if it’s the most obvious thing in the world, the male decides to make you choke at his words.
“You should get on that, Y/N,” he notes, snickering.
“Huh?”
“You know what I mean. Man’s rich as fuck, Y/N,” he says as he swallows down the bite, shrugging. “He’d fit perfectly into your little plan,” Changmin schemes, pointing a finger at your face.
“Stop being ridiculous,” you grunt, “why would I do that? He doesn’t even like me, so–”
“Oh, as if,” Changmin rolls his eyes, speaking with his mouth full, “he looked at you as if you were Jesus fucking Christ, Y/N. He clearly has a crush on you. And, respectfully, any man would want to get with someone like you– why do you think our plan is working so well? You’re hot enough, that’s why,” he shrugs, making you blink at the male in surprise.
Hot enough? Did Ji Changmin just call you hot? You’d rather not focus on that part of the exchange.
“Shut up, Changmin,” you sigh, “besides, I’m not doing that to him.”
“Why not? I thought our motto was ‘eat the rich’, no?”
“Yeah,” you grunt, nodding to the boy, tone of voice ironic, showing him just how stupid he sounds right in this moment, “but it’s ‘eat the icky old rich men’, not ‘eat unsuspecting, innocent rich’, Changmin. Got it?”
“You’re missing out on–”
“I said no,” you cut him off, pointing a finger right in the middle of his forehead. Something about your authoritative tone gets the point across, making the boy sigh.
“Jeez, okay, if you really say so…”
Opening your mouth to continue on with the sentiment, you’re quickly cut off by Eric’s voice coming from beside you, the boy suddenly appearing at your table. “Here,” he says, a bashful look on his face as he puts the tray in front of you, two slices of pizza and a box of orange juice settled on the red plastic dish, “I’m really sorry again! And…” he starts, scratching the back of his neck, “and here is my number, so if you want me to… uh… pay for the cleaning of that, or whatever, just… let me know, okay?” he smiles awkwardly, pointing to a piece of paper settled under the juice box, having you blink up at him in surprise.
Before you get a chance to protest, Eric pays you two his goodbyes and rushes out of the cafeteria, cheeks red and an expression a little alarmed. You’re not an expert in body language, but the more you think about it, the clearer it gets.
Ji Changmin is right. Eric Sohn does clearly have a crush on you.
If that even means anything…
The house is silent. Your naked feet clad through your room as you open your drawer, fingers reaching for the soft fabric of your socks. It’s gotten a bit chilly, so you automatically go and try to warm yourself up with one of your thick garments. Fingers unraveling the sock ball, prepared to find dollar bills inside– already knowing you’ll take a part of it and give it to your sister in the morning so she can get some lunch at school– a momentarily shock washes over you when you find the sock ball empty.
Confused, you furrow your brows and check the insides of the socks. You remember very clearly that you put some of your money into this specific pair just a few days ago.
Or maybe you didn’t… You’ve been tired the last few days. You could be remembering it wrong. Maybe this particular sock ball didn’t have money in it in the first place.
Still, you reach for another sock ball, hands a little shaky as you look through it. When you notice the lack of bills inside, your heart starts hammering against your chest, sweat appearing on your forehead. Searching through another one and another one and another one, you find all sock balls empty. There is no money where you hid it. It’s all gone.
Thousands of won gone. Vanished. Nowhere to be found.
Where could they go? Who could’ve taken them?
In the few seconds that pass before the fact that all of your money is nowhere to be seen fully settles into your brain, your feet react on themselves and drag you out of the comfort of your room, making you jog downstairs. Reaching the living room, finding your mother laying on the sofa with a bottle of rum next to her on the ground, you feel the amount of patience you’ve had with her slowly overflowing, frustration taking its deserved place in your body as you scream at her sleeping figure.
“Did you take my money?” you yell, watching as your mother slowly opens her eyes at you and blinks in confusion, the alcohol haze around her stinking and making you sick to your stomach. The woman looks at you with zero ounces of sympathy behind her eyes, no words escaping from between her lips as she continues to wordlessly stare at you.
“Mum! Did you take my money?” you scream, clenching your hands into a fist, chewing on your bottom lip in frustration.
“I needed the money,” she says, a groggy voice cutting through the silent house.
Running your hand through your hair, an amused chuckle leaves your throat. “Did you use it all? Is it all gone?”
“I needed it,” she only adds, turning on her side and proceeding to ignore you, which makes fury hammer against your chest with more force than ever before.
“You needed the money. You needed it,” you laugh, shaking your head in disbelief. “For what, mum? You needed the money to give to Aerin so she could have lunch? You needed the money to buy groceries? To pay for the bills when a man comes to our house and tells me we haven’t paid enough for our electricity bill? You needed the money for all of that, right?” you chuckle, frustration making you kick your foot against the side of the couch.
“Or did you need the money to buy alcohol, mum? Is that what you needed it for? Is that more important?” you bite, watching as your mother looks at you with stern eyes, the words finally entering her bubble and getting to her heart.
“Don’t speak to me like that. I am your mother.”
“You’re only my mother when you want to scold me!” you yell back, your words resonating through the silence. “Why won’t you be my mother when I need to feed my sister? When I need to take care of the house? Why aren’t you my mother when I need you?!” you scream, a sob involuntarily dragging out of your throat as you finally verbalize the words you’ve been biting back since this whole situation arised.
“I brought you to this life. I raised you!” she screams back, merciless words stabbing you in the back like daggers coming for your heart. “So when I say I needed the money, I have every right to take it!”
“Do you?!” you argue. “Do you. Did you earn that money, mum? Because the last time I checked, you got fired and the only person trying to keep this family afloat is me!” you scream, watching as your mother sits up in her place, a tired sigh escaping her throat.
“Don’t you dare yell at me!” she gestures with her hand.
“Well, then don’t take what’s not yours! Because now, I’ll have to work my ass of to get all of that back, because you won’t try to get your fucking life together–”
“Don’t swear at me,” your mother drags out, tone of voice stone cold and serious. It sends chills down your spine, a teardrop trail down your cheekbone and towards your jaw. You have a staring contest with your mother, one in which you question just how much impact your argument has on her– if she recognises the fury and anger and translates it as grief, just like your insides have been doing for so long now.
Behind her glossy eyes, there’s not much for you to read, though. You lost that ability a long time ago. It’s one of the things you mourn the most.
“Y/N?” you hear a small voice call from behind you. It has you snap your head around and watch your sister shrinking away in the doorway behind you, holding on to the wall. Aerin’s eyes are glossy and scared, shaking from you to your mother, her little face morphed in anxiety as she chews on her bottom lip in nerves.
That has your fury dissolving– at least on the outside. You can’t afford to fail at protecting your sister from everything. Wiping your own tears harshly, you clear your throat and move to her hunched-over body, placing a comforting palm on her back, leading her upstairs to her bedroom.
“It’s okay, sweetie,” you hum groggily, sniffling on your way to the top of the stairs, “it’s okay. Me and mum just didn’t… we had a bit of an argument, but it’s nothing to worry about.”
As you cover up your sister with the duvet on her bed, she looks at you with watery eyes, a little voice shaking as she inquires. “We don’t have money?”
“Of course we do, dummy,” you snicker, shaking your head. “We do. Don’t you worry, Aerin-ie. I’ll take care of everything, yeah? Get those worries out of your head.”
“But you said–”
“Let the adults deal with this, yeah? It’s gonna be fine.”
“But you’re not even an adult yet,” Aerin furrows her brows, restless eyes not closing as she tries to wrap her head around the situation. No child ever should worry about things like this. And she’s right– you’re not an adult yet either, but as the older one of you, you think it’s your responsibility to take care of things. Just because you can’t afford to not worry about your situation doesn’t mean you will let your sister down and drag her with you.
“That’s right,” you sniffle, laughing airly as you rub her upper arm through the fabric of the duvet, “so that means I can still share a bed with you, yeah?” you force a smile to your lips, watching as your sister nods and scoots over in her place, letting you hug her from the side and snuggle into the warmth of her sheets.
“Everything will be alright,” you whisper into her ear, trying hard to provide her head with some distraction.
It’s kind of ironic, if you really think about it. Both of your parents failed you, but you were only truly hit with the reality of your mother’s betrayal. Who is your father if not the first man to ever disappoint you, right? You came to peace with the fact a few weeks after he left for good– you thought you didn’t need him. You could be good without him.
It seems like your mother needed him more than anything, though. Sometimes, you wish she chose her children instead.
Holding your little sister to your chest, you decide to do everything to protect her. You’d do anything it takes if it means she won’t have to worry about her future. If that’s your responsibility, then so be it– you are more than willing to carry it.
“I don’t think this looks right,” you mumble as you stare at your reflection in the mirror, furrowed eyebrows on full display as the girl staring back at you doesn’t look half similar to how she usually appears.
You’re wearing a skirt you bought from your savings last month– wanting to treat yourself to something nice– and a cropped shirt that shoves a trace of your skin in the midriff. You’re wearing your old shoes that admittedly throw off the whole look a little– but you don’t have anything else to wear, so that’s what you’re going with. The outfit wouldn’t be the strangest thing about your appearance today– although you’re not the one to wear skirts casually, with the only exception being your school uniform.
The thing that is throwing you off the most about your apparel is the coat of makeup on your face. You and Changmin walked into a drugstore after your classes were over, trying your hardest to make you look the most enchanting you can. You did your makeup with the testers, going through three different lipstick choices before your companion was satisfied, and only when you finally escaped the fluorescent lights of the store and looked at yourself in the daylight is when you realize just how different your face looks to its usual.
“It does,” Changmin shakes his head, standing up from his place on your bed and walking over to your figure, prompting a finger below your chin to angle your head a little, staring at you from up close. His eyes glaze over your skin, making your throat dry out from being so closely examined. “You look different, but it doesn’t look bad.”
“It doesn’t look good either,” you sigh, escaping his gaze and turning around in your place, watching yourself in the mirror once again. The male leans against the desk behind him, communicating from your behind.
A sigh escapes Changmin’s throat at your words, rolling his eyes. “Be serious for once. You look good.”
“My face is all cakey,” you frown.
“You only notice when you see it from up close,” Changmin says, “and I don’t think Eric’s gonna look at you from up close. He’d shit his pants.”
“You’re not helping.”
“That’s because you won’t let me help,” he grunts. “No matter how many times I tell you that you look good won’t change the fact that you won’t admit it to yourself.”
“I don’t look like myself.”
“You do!” he runs his hands through his hair, shaking his head in frustration. “You always look pretty, it’s just… today you look like you put more effort into your appearance,” Changmin huffs, his voice growing a little more quiet at the end of the sentence. Your eyes meet with his in the full-length mirror, watching as the tips of the boy’s ears tint a pink hue, the warmth spreading to his cheeks at the compliment that just so casually slipped through his lips. “Which– which is good, because you wanna look like you put effort into a date with a rich boy, y’know?” he adds, chewing on the inside of his cheek.
His words comfort you a bit. Trying hard not to meet his gaze in the mirror– because you suddenly feel a bit bashful under his gaze– you nod to yourself and focus on the hem of your skirt for the thousandth time, making sure it fits right against your skin. “How does one act on a date? I’ve never been on one.”
“You go on dates every week,” Changmin snickers.
“I meant real dates. The dates you have with people your age,” you roll your eyes, watching as the boy cheeses and shrugs to himself.
“Well,” he starts, “he already likes you. Like, a lot. So making him fall for you won’t be a problem, because I’m quite certain it already happened.”
His words have you feeling a little bad for Eric Sohn. He’s just an unsuspecting teenager that just so happens to be born into a rich family. He likes you– quite obviously so– and you’re going to break all the trust he has in you and use him for your own personal gain. It’s not morally good to do anything like this. You should be ashamed of yourself.
But then again, you think of all the paths you have to take just to survive. You lost a lot of money, and you need to get it back again– and you need to do it fast.
There’s no time for you to feel bad for Eric. You have to think of your sister first.
“I think you just have to pretend you like him back. Like… listen to him when he talks about boring stuff. Smile a lot– he’ll go crazy over your smile. Don’t be too touchy on the first date, or else it would come off as you being too eager, but if you manage to get a casual touch in without being too clingy, that’s bonus points,” Changmin hums, listing off all advice he can think of.
“Just be yourself, honestly. You have the guy wrapped around your finger anyway,” Changmin shrugs. “Let him pay for everything. Abuse the power you hold, Y/L/N.”
Nodding to yourself, you take a mental note of everything Changmin told you. “I don’t think it’s really fair to him, still.”
“Well, when was ever life fair to you?” he asks, tone of voice suddenly more sincere, more tender than the usual way he speaks to you. It has your eyes meeting again in the mirror, an unspoken understatement making you feel a tinge of bittersweetness in your insides, your gaze communicating the words you can’t quite materialize into existence.
The eye contact is broken as the male stands up from his place and pokes your exposed midriff with his finger, laughing at seeing you squirm before he dives into your bed sheets once again, a muffled yell sent your way from the cushion of your pillow.
“Go get him, tiger!”
“Why don’t we finish this at my place?” the man– you think his name was Baekho– asks you with a suggestive smile on his face after he pays for your dinner.
This man was particularly hard to get to. He seemed smarter than the others– keeping his belongings close to himself, paying more attention to his surroundings. You and Changmin didn’t manage to go along with your initial plan, which made you tense on the inside as it was– his suggestion only made your heart drum harder against your ribcage, the self-preservation instinct within you telling you to run.
“I am actually not really feeling well, so I’ll head home,” you nod, a stern smile fighting its place onto your lips.
“Don’t be silly,” the male opposes, shaking his head at you like you would at a child when it does something wrong and you can’t believe a human like that will someday grow into a fully functioning adult, “the night is still young, baby.”
Standing up from your place, following his motions, you turn your head sharply around and send a look full of worry to your companion. Changmin raises his eyebrows at you in question, but for the sake of your secrecy, you don’t pay him much of an answer in fear of where an explicit call for help would lead you.
“Thank you so much for the dinner, really,” you try to seem welcoming, you try to play it off and put up a nonchalant facade, smiling at the man that towers over you, “but I really should get going.”
“Let me give you a ride home, then,” he insists, glazing your elbow with his hand, making you shudder at the action, acid hunting your tongue.
“That won’t be necessary, I don’t live far–”
“Oh, don’t be stupid. Let me show you my car,” the male grunts, harshly gripping your elbow and dragging you away from the restaurant.
One of the biggest mistakes you made today was the fact that you chose to meet with this man in the evening. Most of the dates you go on happen in the afternoon, providing you with more sense of safety– you should’ve known that this gathering would end differently to all the other ones you’ve been to. You get dragged away into one of the poorly-lit alleys, no cars in sight, and you swear you can feel the imprint of his hand burning on your skin.
“Please, let me go so I can–”
“So you think you can just go on a date with someone like me, bribe me to buy you dinner, and then leave me nothing in return? That’s not how it works around here, sweetheart,” the male grits through his teeth, dragging you along the alley despite you trying to wrestle your way out of his grip.
He’s stronger than you, and he’s taking that into advantage. The danger in your chest hammers stronger than any time before, alerting you of the fact that if a miracle doesn’t happen, you’re going to either die tonight, or be marked by the events of this date forever. Oh, what a foolish idea it was to go along with this. You should’ve known this was bound to end in a disaster from how well it’s been going since the start.
Trying to kick around in the male’s grip, huffing and screaming out– but knowing nobody’s going to hear you in the buzz of the nightlife– you gulp on nothing and try to use all your adrenaline for getting yourself out of the situation.
“Stop squirming, you know it’s not going to help you–”
The male suddenly grunts, a wince of pain flashing through his eyes.
A miracle happens. Ji Changmin with his mask pulled up and his cap down low shielding his face appears in your point of vision, a bloody knife in his hand. When your shaky pupils look around, taking in your surroundings, you notice the man crouching down and holding his leg, growling like a wounded animal.
Too shocked to do anything yourself, you let Changmin drag you behind him with his arm, shielding you from the man. You faintly notice him launching after your companion, but before he has a chance to fight with him, Changmin puts the knife up, threatening the male. You haven’t seen him fight anyone before– only heard of the quarrels he’s gotten into in the foster home or on the streets– but something about his swift movements and the kicks aimed at your attacker makes you feel a little safer, a tinge of relief flowing through your veins. He looks like he knows what he’s doing. He seems to have the situation at least partially under his control.
“Run!” you hear Changmin yell at you, only paying you attention for a spare second as he looks at you over his shoulder.
You do as you’re told, but still keep looking back at your savior, watching as he kicks the man into his crotch area and slices the knife against the skin of his upper hand before he stabs him again, the pained groans echoing against the walls of the alleyway. There’s something terrifying about Changmin’s skills, leaving you wondering where he learned all of this– but before you get a chance to ponder on the origins of his self-defense skills any further, you hear his voice calling for the male.
“Don’t follow us, or this will end up worse,” he growls, still threatening the male with the pocket knife. “Try to go after us and I’ll tell the police you’re a pedophile– she’s only 17. You heard me?”
When the male doesn’t give him a reply, Changmin lets out a satisfied snicker. “That’s what I thought.”
Changmin runs up to you and drags you by your hand, tugging you out of the alleyway. The bloody knife is quickly hidden in his pocket as you charge through the streets, making sure you’re as far away from the man as possible. You stumble a little over your feet, making Changmin hold onto your hand a little stronger, dragging you behind a corner of a 24/7 bistro on the end of the street two blocks away, hiding you from the sight of the main road by the shade behind the building.
“Shit, are you okay?” he asks, looking you over with examining eyes. His shaky fingers take ahold of your chin, turning your face around to see any possible damage, letting go only when he’s sure there are no bruises on your cheeks, gripping your shoulders instead, breathing heavily. “Fuck. I’m so sorry,” he sighs out, his composure faltering a little, the contrast between him from a few minutes ago to now so big it leaves you weak in your knees.
“I’m okay,” you nod, barely registering the shakiness of your own voice.
The words have him tugging you close to him, arms wrapping around your body. He holds you as if he’s making sure you’re still there, all intact and alive, a hand sneaking into your hair petting it in an affectionate act you’ve never received from the male in the months you’ve spent working with him. “I’m so sorry.”
“Not your fault,” you choke out. The previous sense of danger slowly evaporates out of you, heart relaxing, your brain getting the signal that you’re finally safe and sound. Closing your eyes for a minute, you allow yourself to mold against his figure, foolishly adjusting to the way his grip around you brings you a sense of newly found serenity and calm.
“Kinda is. We’re never doing this again,” he says, and if you tune in with his body hard enough, you feel a slight tremble of his arms.
“It’s fine, we can–”
“No,” he sighs, “there’s other ways. Safer ones.”
And it’s kind of strange– the way Ji Changmin demonstrates that your safety matters to him more than the money gain you’ve been both chasing after for the past few months. The things you two do to get by are never morally right and never the safest options, but when he lets go of you and holds his face in his hands before giving you a head pat, you know what he means: he’ll rather take the harder way than to leave you so vulnerable ever again.
Your shoes get discarded at the doorstep and your feet are quickly put into the guest slippers that reminds you too much of the ones you see in fancy hotels on the TV– the white, thin footwear you wear only to be polite, since they do nothing to keep your feet comfortable or warm, your heels thudding against the floor with as much force they would’ve if you wore only your socks. Eric takes off your coat and hangs it in the hall, like the true gentleman he was raised to be, and leads you into the house.
The ceilings are high, walls are various shades of white and cream, floors either mirror-like marble or expensive, hard wood. The whole house looks like it was taken out of a furniture catalog or made for one, everything fitting together in a simple, yet polished beauty. The decorations are simple and sleek, but they still make the whole place look put together. The floors are clean, not a speck of dust on either of the bookshelves you pass when the boy leads you into the common area, not a single mug misplaced or a dish forgotten in the sink. The air is fresh in the spacious rooms, yet it’s still quite overbearing, not letting you breathe.
“Do you want anything to drink?” he asks, almost a little nervously.
“Just water is fine, thank you,” you smile, agreeing. Your throat is suddenly dry, almost begging for the cold liquid to splash down and hydrate it a bit before you completely choke out.
Eric nods, leaving you alone in the living room. The big plasma TV seems to be framed against the wall, like an artwork in the gallery, and although it still gets a look full of awe out of you, you find the sentiment a bit ridiculous to look at. You feel like you’re in the Truman show– everyone’s watching your reactions through the camera, laughing at the fact that this is the first time you’ve set your foot into a place filled with so many expensive things, making you scared to even move in fears of breaking something more than your yearly rent. You must look like a deer in the headlights, clueless and shocked at the state of your surroundings, and it suddenly makes you self conscious as you decide to walk around the room and focus on what you’re here for– the plan.
Eyes scanning the contents of vitrines, the crystal glasses and expensive wine bottles, you try hard to mentally calculate the worth of everything in the house– you find yourself failing, though, since you can’t even tell just how much each thing costs, too far out of your league to even assume the price tag. There’s a particular display of jewelry you recognise from back when you worked in the store, scoffing when you add up the prices of the chains you once sold to an old man wanting a gift for his wife’s birthday– something about the number of digits making you feel just the tiniest bit infuriated.
How come some people have so much, yet you have so little? What makes them deserve it and makes you work tirelessly to afford a living? Why can they afford vacations in Greece and Dubai, yet you keep gluing together the last remains of your money to buy groceries for your sister?
It’s ridiculous. It’s frustrating.
Chewing on the inside of your cheek, you move towards a wall filled with pictures– each framed in a white or silver frame so they fit together like a jigsaw puzzle for your eyes, aesthetically pleasing each guest that’s ever crossed the threshold of the house– gazing at the memories captured on the photos.
You recognise the little boy on all of them to be Eric. There’s a girl, a few years older than him, but undoubtedly his sister, with her arm around his shoulders, a silly smile plastered on both of their faces so similar the resemblance is uncanny. There are a few pictures with all 4 of them on the wall as well, sun shining into their eyes as they all squint into the camera, posing in front of various monuments. A few of the mementos are from the beaches of Europe, some are from the hiking trails of Asia, and the one with Eric’s hair longer and in little curls, very obviously one of the most recent ones with how much he resembles the boy currently in the kitchen fetching you with a glass of water, standing on a surfboard, was taken in the waves of the american west coast. You remember him saying something about having family there, so it’s not unusual for him to visit often.
A knife laced with the green poison of jealousy cuts you somewhere into your abdomen. It’s not only the expensive luxuries he gets to experience that make you long for a life like his– it’s also the carelessness, the joy. It’s the care you see in his parents’ eyes on the pictures, the obvious love shared in the photographs– they’re taken not to boost their privilege, but to remember their happiest moments. You wish you had something like that. A functional family. One that cares for each other. One that doesn’t put obstacles under each other’s feet.
“Here you go,” Eric’s voice wakes you up from the slumber, making you jolt and take the glass of water he’s offering to you into your grasp, taking a sip.
“Thanks,” you nod, smiling.
Watching Eric from under your eyelashes, you notice his eyes glazing the frames you’ve been focusing on before. Licking his lips, the boy speaks up with a voice laced with genuine absurdity, pointing towards the wall.
“You must think this is just ridiculous,” he notes, scratching the back of his neck. Eric Sohn isn't stupid– although he grew up in luxury, he can still recognise the imbalance of resources the two of you have. You don’t know why he is being self-conscious about it, though.
“Not really,” you note, shrugging, “it’s just… quite unbelievable, to be fair.”
“Yeah,” he snickers, “we don’t really go on many vacations anymore, to be honest. We used to go on many when I was a kid,” he says, making you recognise the fact that most of the pictures did indeed look older– back from when Eric was younger.
You never really went on vacations when you were little. There was always something that got into the way– your parents either had a fight just in the middle of the summer, or you simply didn’t have enough money to travel anywhere, since you were surviving from paycheck to paycheck. Chewing on the inside of your cheek, you start to wonder about the difference it makes to miss something you once used to have, and the desire for something you never got to experience. Which one is worse? Or are they not really comparable at all?
“My dad started working much more, so he doesn’t really have time. My sister got married, so she has her own family to worry about,” he shrugs, trying hard to play it casual– somewhere in the depth of his dark orbs, though, you notice that he’s battling away the fact that it upsets him. “I was really close with my sister,” he chuckles, pointing towards one of the picture frames where she’s putting up a peace sign behind his head, photobombing their own picture together, “I miss her sometimes.”
The role of the older sister is perhaps the one you try your hardest to keep. Will your little sister miss you the same way Eric does now with his own sibling? Will it hurt her less or more? Will she resent you? You can’t imagine a world in which your sister hates you– do you choose to protect her always, or do you take a step forward so you can breathe too?
“Does she visit you at all?” you ask.
“Yeah,” he hums. “It’s just not the same. That’s alright, though,” he shrugs, pressing his lips together into a tight line, “little Eric had a very happy family, at least. Can’t complain about that.”
And when you lock eyes with him, the sympathy oozing into the spacious, silent, almost lonely-looking place, you recognize the reality of it all– that no matter how fortunate you are in life, no matter how much money you have, there will always be struggles. Life always has its way of finding your weak spots and hitting where it hurts, strangling you and leaving you breathless in the battle of it all. You either don’t go on vacations at all, or you once did and now you can’t– either way, it hurts to think of what ifs and to remind yourself of all that once was and is now wasted.
For the first time since you met Eric Sohn, you start to see him as human. You start to see him as someone with his own life, his own emotions, his own struggles.
Maybe Changmin was wrong to tell you to get closer with the male. Now, having the insight to his thoughts, having the image of his once so idyllic life that’s now so far away, lonely, makes it harder for you to think of what you’re supposed to do when the time comes– mercilessly, completely selfishly.
You’re not so sure you can proceed with the plan anymore.
You miscalculated your abilities.
“Do you really need to write it all down?” you squint at your companion, feeling at least a little comical when you watch him scribble down a list onto a lined sheet of paper, blue ink twinkling in the sun.
“Yeah,” he nods, totally focused on the task at hand. “So we don’t miss out on any important information. Everything’s useful.”
A sigh leaves your mouth at that, making you shaking your head in disbelief. Changmin is currently laying on his stomach in the grass, not a picnic blanket in sight– just his bare shirt against the ground– and as you sit cross legged against the tree in the very corner of the park, enjoying the breeze playing with your hair, you start to wonder just how innocent and carefree you must look to the rest of the people. Just two friends enjoying their weekend in the park. Nothing else. No shady business going on– you promise!
“So you said there was a bunch of jewelry?” Changmin asks, tapping the glitter pen against his chin. You don’t really know where he came across one, but you don’t dare to ask. You know he was eyeing one of the fancy glitter gel pens in the dollar store when you last went to buy a notebook for class with him after school, so you guess you know the source of his newest shiny toy. He’s like a crow, you think. Both with the love for anything that glimmers and the love for stealing.
“Yeah,” you hum, “like at every rich person’s house,” you shrug, not really knowing what his deal was.
“Okay, good. Visible? Unprotected?”
“Are you asking if it was locked like in a jewelry store?” you snicker, rolling your eyes at him. “Because if so, the answer is no, Changmin. Who in their right mind has their personal belongings locked in their own home? Right. No one.”
“Just making sure. I don’t know how it works with rich people, I’ve never been one of those,” Changmin hums, not paying your sarcastic remarks much mind. “But this is good, it works in our favor. What other valuables have you laid your eyes upon during your visit?”
You try to think back to the day you went over to the Sohn’s mansion. You didn’t really see the majority of the house– since Eric didn’t give you a full tour and you didn’t really think it was appropriate to ask for one– so all you know about the stuff he has at home is from the living room, the entry hall and his bedroom.
“A game console of some kind? I don’t know, dude…”
“A PS5?”
“God, I dunno,” you mumble, furrowing your brows at the boy. “Do I look like an expert?”
“Right,” he sighs, licking his lips. “Well, we can only assume. Next?”
His glitter pen scribbles the words ‘PS5 (?)’ into the notepad right below the words ‘expensive jewelry’, making you chuckle. You really don’t know what he’s trying to achieve over here– well, the main goal is clear, you’d say– you just don’t really know why he has to have a complete list. It’s not like you’re going to rob his house of everything. You don’t have the capacity to do all that.
“Well, I don’t know. I doubt you want me to carry out his plasma TV or something, so I think this is all I can really give you right now,” you mumble, shrugging. “As if this whole thing isn’t totally immoral in the first place.”
“Y/N, sweetie, I told you to forget about morals long ago.”
“Not everyone is morally gray by default, Changminnie. It takes a while to recalibrate,” you say, rolling your eyes at his phlegmatism. If only you could live your life with Ji Changmin’s mindset. You bet handling a lot of things would be much easier.
Eyes searching through the trees and the greenery, you take a mental note of your sister’s whereabouts. You’re glad you were finally able to take her out of the house. Her friends invited her out, and although it’s only in the neighborhood, you’re much happier with keeping an eye on her, just in case. You’re much more concerned with safety of your little sister ever since you came in contact with breaking the law– you realized just how many people with bad intentions are on the planet, and although you’re not one of the people engaging in child trafficking, something about tasting danger on your tongue makes you feel more cautious when it comes to Aerin’s safety.
She is currently laughing at something with her friends before she runs off, seemingly playing tag. The park is big enough for the girls to roam around without getting on the road, and it’s good for her to get some physical activity in. Shifting your attention back to Changmin, noticing him doodling shapes in the corners of his notebook, your mind settles back into conversation with him.
“Or maybe you’re just starting to like your boyfriend a little too much,” Changmin scoffs, making you furrow your brows in confusion.
“I don’t think me not feeling 100% happy with planning to rob someone I know is the cause of me suddenly being in love with my fake boyfriend,” you note, “that’s just, y’know. Being a human being with basic empathy.”
“Fake boyfriend?” Changmin repeats, completely disregarding the rest of your sentence.
“Well, it’s not exactly real, is it?” you laugh, a hint of discomfort on your tongue. “Makes me feel kinda bad, but–”
“So you’re dating?”
Blinking once, then twice at the boy in front of you, you scratch the back of your neck in nerves. “Is that not what you wanted me to do?”
“No, it is, it’s just… is it, y’know, official?”
“Define official.”
“Does he call you his girlfriend?”
Plucking a stem of grass from the ground, twirling it around in your fingers– because looking into Changmin’s eyes is suddenly too unbearable in this situation– you shrug. “Sometimes.”
“Ah,” the male nods, an unreadable expression sitting at his face. “So it’s pretty official, then.”
Not really giving him an answer to this argument– both because you’re suddenly a bit embarrassed, cheeks burning and ears ringing (even though you really don’t know what made you have this reaction, since you have no romantic feelings to your current significant other) and because you don’t really know what to say– you only chew on the inside of your cheek, examining the greenery in between your pointer and your thumb.
“Have you two kissed already?” Changmin asks, quite confidentially, making you kick him in the side of his thigh.
“God,” you sigh out, shaking your head. “No!”
The male in front of you clicks his tongue, a grin spreading over his features. There’s a boyish sparkle behind his eye, his expression not understandable to you, making your insides squeeze in a weird tinge of anxiety. “What?” you ask, but get no reply– just a soft laugh coming out of his throat, battling its way to your heartstrings.
“Nothing.”
“Changmin! What’s so funny?” you ask, hiding your cheeks into the palms of your hands. “It’s just– I don’t wanna do it if I don’t like him like that, y’know? It’s not as embarrassing as you make it to be–”
“Not for you, that is.”
“Changmin!”
“What?” he asks, the dimple on his cheek at full display when he faces you, clearly amused at your reaction. “Look, it’s just that if it was me–”
“Changminnie! Changminnie!” a high-pitched, female voice cuts your friend off, making both of you turn your heads towards the source currently running to you at full speed, laughter escaping your little sister’s throat.
“I bet you can’t catch me!” Aerin says, touching your friend by his shoulder to tag him into the game before she runs off, the rest of her friends looking behind their backs and watching as he scrambles up from his lying position, a smile of a beaming sun plastered onto his face.
You never learn what Changmin wanted to tell you that day. You don’t ask later– you forget, not really deeming the information as that important. The memory you have of the afternoon spent in the park is mostly the image of your friend running after your sister, the laughter of the little girl resonating through your brain like a distant taste of childhood you wish to visit.
Ji Changmin is a fast runner, but he makes sure to play according to the girls’ pace. His voice is cheerful as he taunts them, calling after them in the spacious park, and when he looks back over his shoulder at you, eyes locking, your heart is left soaring in your chest before an invisible hand pierces through your lungs and takes the muscle into its hold, as if to offer it to him.
You wish to make your sister’s laugh last forever. You hope to make her joy prominent in the memories of her childhood. You pray she never turns bitter.
And when one of the girls starts chasing after Changmin, her legs half as long as the boy’s, pace slower and muscles more tired, you watch the boy theatrically trip and fall to the ground, shielding his fall with his outstretched arms. The girls laugh as he loses the game, getting tagged, and after the male almost comically slowly gathers back up to his feet again, a thought flashes through your brain– how amazing life would be if it was just you three in it– just you, Aerin and Changmin, spending your afternoons together, free of any trouble.
How happy life would be if every afternoon went like this. How good life would be if you spent days together just like this, like family.
For the first time since your decision, you start to doubt your life plan. How can you leave a fantasy like this behind?
How could you ever leave your little sister alone?
“It’s happening soon, right?” Changmin asks, the two of you sitting next to each other on the bus stop. Changmin sometimes takes the bus back to the foster home after class when neither of you have plans, but due to your poor time management skills and awfully slow pace of packing your things up, it just so happened that the poor boy missed the earlier bus– which you tried to repay him for with offering him both your chocolate milk and your time as you stayed with him on the bus stop and waited for the nearest bus to the other side of the town with him.
“Hm?” you ask, a little confused at first. Then, it dawns on you. “Ah. Yeah, I guess.”
Changmin’s voice is soft, almost careful when he talks about the topic. You don’t often discuss your plan out loud together. It happens once a fortnight– after sealing the deal in the school yard that day, there always was a feeling of mutual understanding hanging over the two of you that said that even though it’s the reality you’re striding towards, you don’t really mention it out loud. As if not to jinx it.
Or maybe, the both of you just don’t really want to discuss something so difficult. It’s easier to prepare for it when you pretend it’s easy. When you don’t open up about just how scared the both of you clearly are.
“Are you… are you ready?” he asks, making you look at him with confused eyes, a hearty chuckle escaping your throat.
“As ready as I’ll ever be– which actually, just for the record, means no,” you say, watching as your companion hums and nods to himself, head clearly full of thoughts he’s a little afraid to say out loud.
You don’t blame him. Not at all, actually. Your own mind is full of conflicting thoughts and feelings, a battle of morality and selfish desire making a pit open in your stomach every time you think of the next step of your little plan. A part of you desperately needs to leave, to settle things once and for all, but another part of you is still hesitant. Maybe there’s another way. Maybe you could do something about it. Maybe you could try contacting your father again– one more call left to be sent into the voicemail really won’t hurt you right now.
You’ve been thinking a lot of similar things lately. Questioning the nature of your plan. Wondering if you’ll succeed, if it’s all worth it.
You don’t really talk about it, though. Not until now. You don’t know what gets you so weak and fragile.
“What if… what if there’s another way?” you ask, watching as the boy’s head spins to face you, eyes glossy as they stare back to yours.
“Hm?” he seems confused. “What do you mean?”
A little sigh escapes your throat at that, your head turning so you face the road again. Chewing on the inside of your cheek, you shrug. “I was just… I was just thinking, like… what if there’s a way for me to do all of this without leaving? Y’know, I could just…” you trail off, not really finishing your sentence. Truth is, you don’t really know where you were going with that statement either. Maybe you just said it out loud in hopes that Changmin would finish it and figure it out for you, offer you a different perspective, make a new plan– a plan where neither of you leave, a plan where neither of you have to cut ties with everything you know back home.
That’s a foolish thought, though. “What? Get 20 million won in a month a different way? A legal one? You’re gonna get another loan, or something?” Changmin chuckles, not really taking you seriously. Or maybe he is– you just feel a bit childish for having such unrealistic views.
“I don’t know,” you say, jaw clenching. “Maybe I could get another job, and start going on those dates again, and–”
“Yeah, no,” Changmin cuts you off, a huff escaping his lungs. “I know it’s hard, Y/N, but this is all you can do. This is the last resolution, or else you’re gonna lose your house, your mum will be homeless, and you two with Aerin will either end up with your dad– which is unlikely, from what you’ve told me– or at the foster home. If you’re lucky, maybe they’ll put you both to the same one–”
Something about his words feels like daggers are thrown into your skin. Like poison is on his tongue and you’re getting burned with each honest sentence that is uttered out your way. The truth hurts, it makes you feel like he’s only adding salt to an open wound, and it’s not fair of you to react that way– you’re certainly aware– but you can’t help it. The world is toppling over onto you, the weight is all on your shoulders, and you feel totally, utterly helpless. You feel overwhelmed. You feel tired.
“Okay, I get it,” you cut him off, shaking your head in a dismissive way and rolling your eyes at the boy. “It’s just that I don’t really like the thought of doing illegal stuff just to survive, y’know? It’s not exactly easy to steal and do all of this shit, and then leave. I know it must seem fun to you, since–”
“Fun?” Changmin cuts you off. A heartbeat of silence passes by between the two of you, and suddenly, you know you’ve crossed the line. You and Changmin can tell each other many things, but this time, you sound a lot like the people judging him on the street. You sound a lot like the police officers always letting him off without punishment– he’s a kid from the foster home. He does this stuff for attention, doesn’t he? For fun. For satisfaction. He doesn’t know any better– that’s how he was raised. Right?
“Fun,” he repeats. “You think I’m doing this for fun, huh?” he chuckles. You notice his knee bumping up and down in the periphery of your vision, a nervous action just begging to tick you off. “That’s not exactly something I expected you to say, but okay–”
“Well, that’s how we fucking ended up here in the first place, didn’t we?”
“I’ve been doing this for you!” he spits, voice rising and making you flinch. “For you, and for me. For our fucking futures,” he says. You refuse to look at him even when he stands up from his place on the bench, situating his figure in front of your body still hunched up on the hard wood. “I’ve been doing this for the both of us, because we deserve a better life than this, Y/N.”
“A better future?” you laugh, bitterness dripping off your tongue. “In hiding. On a run.”
“Do you prefer being homeless? Being thrown into the foster home for a few days before you age out of the system and your little sister is left there with the other kids? Kids like me?” he says mercilessly, only adding gas to the fire.
“You know that’s not what I meant–”
“Oh, trust me, Y/N, I know,” he says, irony slipping through his words. “You’re just saying this because you’re scared. Because you feel selfish–”
“And isn’t it true, Changmin? Isn’t selfish what we both are?” you say, your eyes finally meeting with the boy’s. His hair is disheveled as if he’s been running his hands through it in frustration, eyebrows furrowed and a displeased expression is sitting at his features. On most days, Ji Changmin looks like a cunning fox– full of mischief, full of secrets. Now, though, it’s like you see right through him. Somewhere along the way, you feel like you’re the one that started building up a wall in the middle of this argument. “How could I ever just leave my sister there? You could never understand–”
“I can’t, huh?” he says, nothing close to the gentle softness in his voice now, all disappearing from when he spoke to you just a few minutes ago. His voice is harsh, hoarse, even, something behind his eyes shifting in the middle of the fight. “Why? Because I don’t have siblings? Because I have nothing to lose?”
“You wouldn’t know how leaving someone behind feels,” you let out, but even as you’re saying it, you feel immediately disgusted with yourself. How could you ever say this to his face?
Changmin looks like he was slapped in his face. You swear he winces at your words, bottom lip trapped between his lips as he stares you down. The corners of your eyes start burning like there’s been acid poured into your sockets, hands trembling in the reality of your words. The boy in front of you nods to himself, harshly breathing in.
“I wouldn’t know how leaving someone behind feels,” he repeats, nodding to himself. “Yeah. You’re right. Because I don’t have anyone,” he admits. “I don’t have siblings like you do. I never met my parents, because they never gave a shit about me enough to keep me in their lives in the first place. Nobody fucking cares at the foster home, because I can’t seem to make meaningful connections with anyone. And you know what, yeah. It’s just so easy for me, because there’s no one here who would give a single flying fuck if I leave, because they don’t even really care if I’m alive or dead.”
“Changmin–”
“Just say it, Y/N. Say nobody cares,” he says, eyes stone cold, an avalanche taking place in your lungs. It’s hard to breathe and your eyes are hazy, fists crawling in themselves as you relish in the catastrophe you’ve caused.
“That’s not what I–”
“And you know what? Maybe you’re right, Y/N. I have nothing to lose, I am not leaving anyone behind, I wouldn’t know how it feels. Call me selfish, for all you like. Call me selfish for wanting something for myself, for wanting to leave this town and start over somewhere new. I don’t care. I’m doing this for myself,” he says, the noise of an approaching car landing in your ears through the sound of his words. “But don’t you fucking dare give up on your future just because you feel guilty. Don’t you dare call yourself selfish when you’re doing everything you can to keep the rest of your family afloat. Don’t call yourself selfish when you’re paying back a loan that isn’t yours and taking care of your sister’s future by doing all of this alone, yeah?”
A hot trail of liquid falls down your cheek as you hear the bus approaching the stop. Taking a shaky breath in, you open your mouth to say something– anything– but no words come out.
“And I know it’s hard for you. I know you’re tired, I know you’re exhausted and I know you’re scared and god do I wish I could make this easier for you, but Y/N, don’t you ever say it’s fun or easy for me, when I’ve been putting everything on line trying to help you. To help us.”
The bus door opens. Like a child that’s being scolded, you refuse to meet his eye. There’s shame flowing through your veins, embarrassment creeping up your neck. It feels like you betrayed him. Like you cut right where it hurts, tried to use everything you had on him against him, hitting all his weak spots– all because you were suddenly too prideful to admit to yourself that you’re scared and wallowing in guilt. It’s hard to bear the weight alone. You wish you could make Changmin feel guilty.
That’s something he won’t understand. It doesn’t make it easier for him, though. He was right– you could never do any of this differently. You could also never do any of this alone.
“And if you still think it’s selfish, then, well,” you hear him sigh, “I think it’s okay to be selfish sometimes. I think it’s fair of you to be selfish right now,” he says, the words both feeling like a hug and a punch to your sternum, leaving you cut open in the empty road.
“I’ll see you on Monday.”
The bus drives off, the boy’s figure peeling itself off your proximity, entering the other side of the town. You sit at the bus stop for a long while after, aggressively wiping your tears away with the back of your palm, embarrassed to cause such a scene. You never meant to fight with him. You never meant to act like a toddler, playing the victim in a situation that you sadly cannot change, in a situation you unfortunately cannot solve in any better way.
Ji Changmin is the only person you can lean on in this situation. You feel bad for using him as your punching bag. You’re deeply flawed to take it out on him.
In the silence of the street, the thought hits you with full force, making your knees weak and your throat dry up like the desert, a dagger straight through your heart as you realize you’re the only person Changmin would be leaving behind.
And after everything you two went through together, he would never do such a thing. Ji Changmin will hold on to you like a lifeline, because you’re everything he’s got– everything he keeps fighting for. He could give up on everything, had you not been on board.
He could never give up on you, though.
Warm sunlight peeks through the windows as you sit in silence side by side, neither of you daring to say anything, as if you were scared to break the atmosphere hanging over the calm library. You and Changmin haven’t talked to each other much the whole day, something in the air remaining tense and strained after your previous argument on Friday, but you still tagged along with him when he asked you if you wanted to do homework with him in the library. This is the first time you see your companion doing any school work at all, so you figure you don’t want to pass out on the revolutionary moment– and also, you still feel kind of bad about your latest interaction. You take the fact that he invited you to spend more time with him as a good sign, though.
Chewing on the inside of your cheek, you decide to break the bubble and move a little in your place, reaching for something inside of your bag. Changmin promptly ignores your movements, but when a carton of banana milk appears in his vision, he pays you a glance.
You’re too prideful to say sorry with words. You don’t want to mention it and go back to the topic you were discussing, much preferring to let things be the way they were before you had an emotional outburst at the bus stop. While you can’t say you aren’t glad that the words are now out in the open, the two of you are more vulnerable in front of each other than ever, you really don’t think you can handle another argument. Some things are better left unsaid. Ignored. There was mutual understanding over you two anyway– there was no use saying those things out loud.
And when you move the banana milk closer to Changmin’s elbow resting on the table with a push of your pointer finger across the dark-wooden desk, you see his eyes softening. He understands, taking the drink into his hand and tearing the plastic off the straw, sucking in the beverage. Ji Changmin accepted your offering, and somehow, you feel like there was some weight lifted off your shoulders, a force unsqueezing your heart.
“You’re not working on your homework?” he asks, voice hushed in the silent library.
“No,” you shake your head, deciding to lean over the desk and rest your weight on your folded arms, prepping yourself into a comfortable napping position. “I’ll just borrow your notebook before class and copy it.”
“Is this you finally admitting that I’m smarter than you?” he teases, shaking his head at your prompt laziness.
“If that helps you sleep at night,” you shrug.
Changmin snickers at your reply, eyes hovering over you for a few seconds as you get comfortable next to him. He takes another sip of the banana milk before he offers the drink to you, the straw hovering over your lips. Like a baby being fed through a sippy cup, you open your mouth and let him slot the straw between your lips, sucking the liquid in and relishing in the sweetness of the beverage.
You shoot him a smile when the carton is back in its place on the desk, his eyes promptly moving to the monitor in front of him. You don’t really know what he’s working on in the first place, the hoard of assignments mixing up in your brain, but you refuse to let your mind wander over equations or foreign languages now. It’s Monday afternoon, and even though it’s only the first day of the week, you feel like you deserve to rest.
Changmin types something on the keyboard of the library computer, eyebrows furrowing as he focuses on the contents of the screen. You find yourself glued to his motions, watching him from the side, studying the way his expressions change in milliseconds, irises dialing by the second. When he focuses a little too hard on the information his eyes are scanning on the device, he traps his bottom lip in between his teeth, tugging on it. He also has a habit of licking his lips every few seconds, leaving a wet trail glossing over his mouth, making you feel foolish at the examination of that part of his face. Hair is falling into his forehead, black locks messily trimmed and mostly unstyled, oftentimes leaving you eager to brush your hand through the raven strands to tame them into place.
His features have grown familiar to you over the months. He has the face of someone you’ll remember even in a few years. He looks like someone you’d take pictures of in photo booths and tape the strips up in your room. You don’t have any pictures like this, though, and your room isn’t worthy enough of being made prettier with such a photo strip. Maybe in the future, you think. When I live somewhere else.
His voice wakes you up from the slumber, your heart hammering at the interruption. Changmin speaks to you casually, the monotone hum of his voice making you listen attentively to what he has to say.
“Where do we eventually want to settle?” he asks, making you raise your brows at him in question.
“What part of the homework is that?” you joke, watching as the boy’s cheeks tint pink, a dismissive wave of his hand shutting up your teasing.
“I’m already done with that,” he clears his throat, “I’m just… doing research.”
“Research,” you repeat, nodding to yourself. You nuzzle your nose into your hoodie sleeve, thinking for a while as you contemplate your decision. You never really thought of where you’d go. ‘Away’ was always your destination– never specified. You just knew you’d have to leave one day, eventually.
“Busan, maybe?” you hum, laughing to yourself. “I dunno. I always wanted to go to Japan, but I don’t think our funds will reach as far.”
“I don’t really think the language barrier would be ideal either,” he agrees, nodding to himself. “Busan sounds nice.”
“Doesn’t it?” you grin, locking your gaze with his only for a few seconds before he looks back to the computer.
“We could get a little flat somewhere in the middle of the city when we save up enough, eventually,” he says, tone of voice sweet and gentle. There’s something about planning your future with Changmin that leaves you feeling particularly vulnerable and fragile. Not in a bad way, just in a strange type of way. In a way that makes your insides ache and heart tremble. You never thought you’d plan your future with someone.
Ji Changmin never planned his future either. Somehow, he assumed there was nothing good waiting for him after aging out of the system.
The intimacy folded over you two like a blanket makes you panic. “We’re moving in together?” you tease, watching as the boy’s face heats up more, a hesitant shrug of his shoulders acted out to seem casual.
“I think it’s more convenient that way,” he hums, trying to stay logical. “We can split the rent and groceries, and one of us can cook while the other one cleans…” he trails off, scratching the back of his neck. “We are leaving together, so I assumed…”
A dumb smile battles its way onto your lips. “I was just joking,” you assure him, watching as he shies away from your gaze. It’s not an usual reaction from him. Ji Changmin doesn’t really get bashful– at least not with you. You try not to question it for the sake of your own comfort.
Forcing your eyes off his face, you watch as he types something on the keyboard again, attention glued to his digits. Dark bruises paint his knuckles, scratches glazing the backs of his fists. Eyebrows furrowing, you act on instinct as you reach out your hand, stopping him from typing as you take his palm into yours. “Did you get into a fight again?” you ask, thumb absent-mindledly tracing the outlines of the scars.
“Maybe,” he admits light-heartedly, lips pressed into a thin line when your warm hand locks with his, the tender touch of the pads of your thumbs against the open wounds making him shiver. If asked, the boy would blame it on the breeze coming through the window. It’s getting late and the air is colder. That has to be it.
“No getting in fights after this is all over,” you say as you let go. “Wouldn’t want our landlord to kick us out for delinquency.”
Changmin laughs, the absurdity of the situation and your foolish dreams downing on both of you at once. Unaware that even though you were both forced to grow up much faster than other kids your age, you were still childish at heart– as if chasing the time of your life that was forcefully taken out of your hands– older, but still needing to live through that stage, you fold back over the table and force your eyes closed, scoffing at the sentiments.
“Don’t you worry, Y/N,” he laughs, “we’re starting clean. Hell, I’ll even give back to society. We can start volunteering, if it makes you sleep better at night.”
The joke makes you chuckle, warming your heart. It’s nice to think about the future with someone. It’s good to feel like your dreams might be tangible. The future is in your hands, and you will do everything you can to make it worth it.
It’s good to have someone you can lean on.
“Can I help you with that?” Aerin asks you from behind, startling you in the small kitchen space. Turning towards her, you offer her a smile and shake your head, watching as your little sister takes her stance next to your figure, observing your cooking.
When it comes to cooking, you wouldn’t call yourself a professional. A lot of the times, what you end up with isn’t as delicious as you expected it to turn out when you started making it, but at the end of the day, it’s food anyway and you eat it– because throwing it out would be a waste of money and resources, and you have to eat something. There are a few foods that are easy enough that you perfected them, though– and those are ramen, an egg omelet, fried rice, and lastly, the pre-made foods you get at the grocery store that you either just boil or heat up in the microwave.
“No, it’s okay,” you say as you work on one of your master dishes– the one that satisfies everyone, including your little sister: ramen. You can never go wrong with ramen, you think.
“But I wanna learn to cook as well,” your sister insists, crossing her arms on her chest, “I’m not a child anymore, and I have to learn how to look after myself.”
A dry chuckle escapes your throat, shaking your head in disbelief at her mature words. In your eyes, she’s just a child, though– a kid that’s not to be trusted with knives and boiling water, a little girl that isn’t as careful with the utensils as she should be, which can undoubtedly end up with her getting hurt.
“That’s what I’m here for,” you smile, throwing your little sister a caring look. “You just focus on studying and I’ll be there to cook for you so your little stomach is never empty,” you say as you slice the spring onion to add into the noodles boiling on the stove.
Aerin seems to be disappointed with your answer. Her cheeks grow twice as big as they usually are as she pouts, a frown overtaking her features. You take it as your sign to engage your little sister more in the grown-up activities, sighing to yourself as you realize just how fast your little sister has grown. Even though you try to shield her from all the troubles of the adult world, you can’t really prevent her from maturing faster than the other kids her age. Hell, she’s not blind– as much as you’d like her to be. She knows what’s going on. She might not be able to grasp it fully, might not be able to understand everything with her childish brain, but she knows– to a certain level, that is.
Nodding to yourself, you try to put up a smiling face. “Okay, then,” you say, “I’m making ramen.”
Your sister seems to be intrigued with your sudden tutorial, eyes growing big and focused. Something grows impossibly soft and fond in you, watching her scanning the surroundings, trying to find any task to help you out with.
“You can just open the pack and put the noodles in the water to boil, if you want to do it the easy way,” you start, “but if you want to make it more delicious, like I do, you can add some other ingredients in with it.”
“What do you add?” Aerin asks.
“Spring onion,” you hum, pointing to the vegetables you’d been cutting when she approached you, “soy sauce,” you point towards the black bottle on the counter, waiting to be opened and added into the dish cooking on the stove, “and lastly, I crack in an egg.”
“That doesn’t seem hard,” Aerin says, earning herself an amused chuckle out of you.
“It’s not,” you admit, “I’m not a professional chef, or anything, so I keep it simple.”
“Can I do it, then?” she asks, looking at you with big, hopeful eyes. You can’t possibly turn those eyes down. A passing thought emerges in you that she needs this– she needs someone to teach her even the smallest things. She needs you to teach her how to cook ramen, because you know how hard it is when you have no one to show you, when you have to figure out everything on your own.
Nodding, you step aside and put the black bottle of soy sauce into her hand. “You can pour in a little bit. Not too much, though, or else it will be too salty.”
“How much?” she asks, furrowing her brows.
“I’ll tell you when to stop,” you smile, watching as her smaller hand opens the lid of the bottle, positioning the glass above the pot. Black liquid soon drips down, tinting the broth a dark brown color, the spices mixing in and making the ramen instantly twice as delicious as if you’d just thrown it on the stove with the spices that come in the packaging.
“That’s fine,” you say, halting your sister in adding more and over-seasoning your lunch.
“Now the egg?”
“Yeah,” you nod, watched by the focused eyes of your little sister. You take the small sphere you’ve prepared onto the kitchen counter before you started cooking, offering it to Aerin. “Have you ever cracked an egg before?” you ask.
“No.”
“Okay,” you laugh, “so this is your first time. Don’t worry, nobody gets it right the first time. Just crack it on the counter and then open the shell. Be careful not to spill it everywhere, though,” you instruct, watching as your little sister moves with much uncertainty, small hands shaking with the delicate ingredient in her grasp.
The touch of the shell with the counter is almost delicate the first time, as if she was afraid the egg was going to spill everywhere and make a mess on the kitchen counter, but the second time, she’s a little more confident, cracking the egg on the corner. Pure concentration is shown on your sister’s face as she moves the ingredient above the pot, her little fingers having trouble with opening the shell and dropping the egg in. She struggles, nails digging into the light tan, putting in more force than necessary and breaking the shell even further, having the yolk spill all over her fingers, dropping to the pan with a crash.
Aerin gasps in surprise at her own actions, a frown instantly overtaking her features as she notices that the shell fell in, disappointment so evidently running through her veins.
“It’s okay,” you say, petting her arm, “as I said, nobody gets it right the first time. Throw the shell into the bin and wash your hands, I’ll finish this,” you smile, trying to transfer all your feelings of pride into her.
She is growing up right in front of your eyes. It’s a feeling only older siblings can understand– seeing someone transform from a baby to an elementary-school kid, being there for every step of their journey. You’ve known her her whole life. It’s a bond that you never want to break.
But there’s that bugging voice in your mind that keeps telling you to enjoy this, enjoy it while it lasts, enjoy it while you can, because soon, you’ll be gone and you won’t see her take the next steps, you won’t see her grow up. A chill runs down your spine at that, an unsettling feeling making you feel heavy, making you trap your bottom lip between your teeth and gnaw on it in a poor attempt to ground yourself.
Crouching over the boiling pot, you take out a spoon and fish for the cracked shell in the noodles, not really being in favor of getting an upset appendix. Your eyes get hazy, stinging at the corners– maybe you could blame it on the steam.
“You did well, Aerin. You’ll be a better cook than me in no time,” you praise her.
“I have to learn,” she agrees, the sound of the tap turning on as she washes her hands flowing into your ears with her next sentiment. “You won’t be here forever to do everything for me, after all.”
With your back turned to her, pretending to still dig around the noodles for the egg shells you already got out a few seconds ago, you hum. You catch yourself mid-sniffle, quickly wiping your cheek with the back of your hand, turning off the stove– maybe you could blame it on the spring onion. Cutting it always makes you tear up. It’s just the fumes getting in your eyes.
You won’t be there forever to do everything for your little sister. The day that happens is maybe sooner than she’d expect– you can’t tell her, though. You can’t prepare her for your departure.
By bringing this up, though, it’s almost like in the corner of her soul, she knew. It’s almost like she had it all figured out, it’s like she saw right through you. It’s like her own way of telling you not to worry– she’ll be a big girl and take care of herself. She’ll be strong, even when you’re gone.
You won’t be there forever to do everything for your little sister. You really, desperately wish you would, though.
Carisoprodol, sold under the brand name Soma among others, is indicated for the relief of discomfort associated with acute, painful musculoskeletal conditions in adults. Carisoprodol is a white, crystalline powder, having a mild, characteristic odor and a bitter taste. It is slightly soluble in water; freely soluble in alcohol, chloroform, and acetone; and its solubility is practically independent of pH. SOMA should only be used for short periods (up to two or three weeks) because adequate evidence of effectiveness for more prolonged use has not been established.
“What if it kills him?” you ask, chewing on your bottom lip.
“It won’t,” Changmin says, placing his hand over yours, the package of pills resting in your open palm. “Trust me.”
The recommended dose of SOMA is 250 mg to 350 mg three times a day and at bedtime. The recommended maximum duration of SOMA use is up to two or three weeks.
“Where did you even get this?” your eyebrows furrow as you listen to him instruct you on the ways of using it. Your stomach is already burning with acid at the thought of what you’re going to do. It’s what you’re dreading, but it’s also what needs to be done.
“Our caretaker back at the foster home takes them,” he says, shrugging. “So I just borrowed some.”
SOMA has sedative properties and may impair the mental and/or physical abilities required for the performance of potentially hazardous tasks such as driving a motor vehicle or operating machinery. There have been post-marketing reports of motor vehicle accidents associated with the use of SOMA. In some patients, however, and/or early in therapy, carisoprodol can have the full spectrum of sedative side effects and can impair the patient's ability to operate a firearm, motor vehicles, and other machinery of various types, especially when taken with medications containing alcohol, in which case an alternative medication would be considered. The intensity of the side effects of carisoprodol tends to lessen as therapy continues, as is the case with many other drugs. Other side effects include: dizziness, clumsiness, headache, fast heart rate, upset stomach, vomiting and skin rash.
“Just give him two of these. He should be out within an hour.”
A chill runs down your spine. This is nothing close to the occasional stealing at the grocery store or the lying you used to do to get money out of old men that are predatory towards a girl knowing she’s underage. This is twice as morally wrong and twice as dangerous for everyone involved. If you had to draw a line at what you can excuse yourself, you think all of this is far over it.
“If this goes wrong, I’m ratting you out and we’re both going to jail. You hear me?” you say, eyes bearing into Changmin’s.
“That’s the plan, baby,” he grins. “If you go down, I go as well.”
The usual dose of 350 mg is unlikely to engender prominent side effects other than somnolence, and mild to significant euphoria or dysphoria, but the euphoria is generally short-lived due to the fast metabolism of carisoprodol into meprobamate and other metabolites.
You watch the boy from up close, his eyes now blown out and big, blonde hair falling into his forehead in a messy manner– yet he doesn’t find it in him to drag his palm across the strands and push them out of his vision. You’re laying in the bed with him, side by side, staring into each other’s eyes. You watch as the drug slowly takes over him, as the boy in front of you slowly starts slipping into a more and more sleepy state, completely unaware of the fact that you dropped two white, round pills into his drink when he went to the toilet.
Your conscience starts stinging more and more with the passing time. Eric Sohn looks at you like you hung the stars onto the sky, like you made the whole world with just your two hands– and this is what you’re repaying him with. This is what you decided to do, this is what path you chose to take.
Millions of excuses flash through your alert brain. Maybe it’s just your mind trying to rationalize everything, trying to make you feel better about the mess you’re just now going to create– either way, it’s helping only a little bit with the rapid beating of your heart.
You keep telling yourself that it doesn’t matter. That Eric would never understand the life you’re living, that he wouldn’t even want to date you, had he known just how much money your family owes. You keep telling yourself that it’s okay, because he has a lot of money, and it’s not like you’re stealing it all– you’re just stealing the valuables he showed you. And maybe it’s his fault for trusting you. After all, he was the one willingly taking you back to his house when his parents weren’t around. This is his lesson– he should start being less gullible and vulnerable. He should stop hanging out with people like you.
You and him, you don’t belong together. Eric Sohn is supposed to stand by the side of another rich heir, showing her off to his parents. He’s supposed to be proudly going around the town with his newest girlfriend, not hiding with her in the shadows, knowing, sensing that she’s flawed and not like him– not like others.
He’s going to wake up and find out who you are– the reality, not just what you’ve been pretending to be all this time– and he’s going to be disappointed, sure, but he’s going to move on to better things. Because what you’re taking from him is just a fraction of his wealth, just a small part of what he has. He won’t even feel the loss.
But for you, you’re taking everything you can– everything you need.
It’s not like any of this– your relationship– was ever real. You two haven’t even kissed yet. You hang out with him and hold his hand, you listen to him while he talks to you with sparkles in his eyes, but there’s no depth. Surely, he must feel it. Surely, he must know there’s something wrong.
“I love you, Y/N,” he suddenly says, tone of voice hushed, almost not audible in the silence of his room. The sentence is like a knife to your heart, a dagger stabbing you in your back. Something inside of you crumbles, your stomach burning with guilt, hands shaking as you pretend you didn’t hear him. If you ignore it, maybe it’s like it never happened.
It’s the effect of the drug. He doesn’t know what he’s saying. It’s not real– how could it be? He doesn't know you. He doesn’t know who you really are and what you’re about to do. He can’t love you.
Fingers playing with the loose threads of the blanket thrown over the two of you, your eyes avert from his, big and honest, still like water. It takes everything in you not to stay here with him, wait until he’s back from the sedation, and apologize. It takes everything in you not to back out. Every time the weight of your actions becomes too unbearable, the weight of responsibility and your family’s well-being drops onto the other side of the scale, though, and you’re back to square one– this is what you need to do.
“You don’t have to say it back,” he says to you despite not meeting your eye, “you… I know…” he trails off, but doesn’t finish the sentence, as if changing his mind. A dry chuckle leaves his throat at that, words sweet like honey lacing your throat, choking you up with the thickness of them, the richness of his unreturned care. “I just wanted you to know.”
You’re a terrible, terrible human being. The force of your teeth against the side of your cheek suddenly gives out, making you taste iron on your tongue. Promptly ignoring everything he says, focusing on calming down your breathing and the erratic beating of your heart, you wonder if he knows. If he’s aware you’re just playing with him– if he knows you never cared for him in a way he does for you.
Because if he knows, it’s like he’s allowing you to break him. Isn’t that what love is, though? Being vulnerable, offering someone your whole heart, and expecting them to take care of it? Love is cruel in that way. It can take away all of you. It can consume you.
And would he still love you if he knew what you were going to do to him? Is his love unconditional? You chuckle at that. He doesn’t know anything about love.
A while passes, the two of you laying in silence. When you finally battle away the fear and look up at him, you find him asleep. His eyes are closed and his breathing is steady, and when you touch his arm– testing to see if he will wake– you find him unresponsive. This is your cue.
Standing up from his bed and straightening the wrinkles on your clothes, you take a deep breath in and out to calm yourself down. Your hands grasp the backpack you brought with yourself– the bag that was supposed to be filled with clothes so you could sleep over, yet that is now empty, just waiting to be filled– and you walk out of Eric’s room, feet dragging you towards all the empty rooms in the corridor.
The first part of the plan is now in action.
Walking into the master bedroom, dashing to the walk-in closet, you take all the jewelry you can find. The mental calculations of the worth of the chains and golden earrings in your bag are adding up slowly, the digits growing and making a sense of satisfaction flow through your veins. Maybe something rubbed off on you from hanging out around Changmin so much– you get the thrill now. You get the adrenaline. It’s like working for something you want, something you need, and although you know there are other ways, they’re not as fast and effective. The thing is, you need the money now.
Fastly getting through room by room, taking everything valuable you can see with the idea of turning it into profit in a pawn shop somewhere along the way, when everything is settled and you’re on the run, starting your life somewhere new, you find that it gets easier to operate. It’s like you’re working on auto-pilot, the full weight of your actions slowly slipping through your consciousness. You’re only an actor in your life right now, looking at yourself from a third person view– like you’re playing a video game.
Detached from everything, hands now more steady and breathing almost normal, you take the jewelry from the living room as well. A dry chuckle leaves your throat as you eye Eric’s wallet thrown lazily on the shelf by the front door. You never leave your money out in the open and unhidden at home– don’t you know that? Haven’t you learned about the dangers of that yet, Eric Sohn? Oh, what a blissfully unaware life you lead.
Opening it, taking the bank notes into your fingers and folding them into your pocket, you stop as you put your shoes back on at the front door. Looking around the big, empty space, not really allowing yourself to dwell on your actions just yet, you take your phone out of your pocket and before you completely turn the device off, block Eric’s number.
The doorknob is cold in your hands as you open the front door, walking out. It’s like you’re leaving who you once were and who you could’ve been in that big house behind you– it’s like you’re saying goodbye to the life you once led and anxiously awaiting the new one waiting for you behind the corner.
Getting sentimental won’t help you in this situation, though. Being emotional and afraid won’t drag your family out of the depths of loan sharks’ teeth.
And so you walk off the property, mind set on the meeting point you agreed on with Changmin. It’s now or never.
The first part of the plan has been completed. You have something to fall back on when you discard all the money into the loan shark’s hands. Eric Sohn’s wealth is now your safety net.
You meet up with your partner in crime at the corner of the neighborhood. Your backpack gets hidden in the bushes, away from the eyes of everyone, on the route you’re going to take when completing your second part of the plan. The next couple of steps are completed on autopilot.
Flashes of Changmin’s face. A ski mask pulled over his head, a hood pulled over your hair, disposable mask covering your nose. He throws one of his spare black hoodies over your body, leaving you to put your arms through the sleeves and zip the clothing up, the two of you masked to the point of not being recognised even to the eyes of people that know you.
You two make a silent entry to the empty road leading towards the town square. Not much conversation is shared between the two of you because of the adrenaline running through your veins. The stride in your step is consistent and fast-paced, the timing of your plan set to a tight schedule. When you cross the corner, nearing your target, the two of you put on sunglasses and keep your head low. Your heartbeat is so fast you can hear it in your ears, your body responding to the stress with the help of your sympathetic nervous system– breathing growing fast and hands a little sweaty.
Your mind is repeating ‘It’s gonna be okay, It’s gonna be okay, It’s gonna be okay’, a silent plea that constantly gets overthrown by the rational side of your brain. Is it too late to back out now? You don’t know– but at the same time, you recognise that you don’t particularly want to. You’re just scared– you know it. You recognise it.
And it’s okay to do things afraid. It means you have the courage to do them– it means you have what it takes to change the situation you’re in.
Your eyes lock with Changmin’s, his face mostly hidden in a shadow. You can’t really read his expression– it’s dark and his features are covered– but it seems like you two operate on the same frequencies. One nod is all it takes– the world stops for a second before Changmin turns on his heel and moves towards the jewelry store you once worked at, a heavy rock he prepared close to the sidewalk thrown through the door giving you an easy entry to the property.
The alarm goes off instantly. That means you only have about 10 to 15 minutes before the police come and you’re busted.
You have to act quick. Changmin climbs into the store like he owns the place. You have the background information from working there that could very well get you caught quickly, if the police are smart enough to connect the dots in the investigation. The plan you and Changmin have is efficient, fast and smart. You thought about everything– you can’t make a single mistake. The way you move and operate is calculated and thought-out. There’s no way you’re giving yourself to the hands of the police tonight.
While you run to the back and rummage through the manager’s room, looking for the key to the cash register– you know where it’s usually kept, since you closed with her many times before and watched her do all the tasks with innocent eyes, not yet knowing that you’re going to end up using this information for your good one day. When you find it– on the top of the shelf, almost invisible if you hadn’t known that’s where to look for it– you move to the safe in the corner of the room. The sequence of numbers is easy to remember– or at least for you. Your father used to tell you that you’re good with numbers. You’ve grown to hate every quality of yours he ever complimented, but you must admit it’s coming in clutch right now.
Your fingers work on the lock, the junctures of the metal unclasping under your touch. Your hands are still sweaty, but a little more steady now– you notice as you open the door to the safe and take out the rest of the money binded with rubber bands, throwing it into your backpack. You work fast, not really giving yourself an opportunity to mentally count and estimate the amount, but something in your bones is telling you that it should be enough.
Running back to the main store area after you’re done, not bothering to close the safe after yourself, you reach the register to get the last remains of cash from this store. The alarm is still going off, making your ears ring and your stomach churn with acid, but as you get the key in and forcefully take out the drawer, you feel a little calmer at the sight of the bills inside.
From the corner of your eye, you watch Changmin getting out jewelry from each shiny glass vitrine, smashing it with his gloved fist. Countless earrings, watches and necklaces get thrown messily into his bag, expensive metal rising your worth with every passing second.
When the cash is in your bag, you quickly pace around the store and try to help Changmin. As soon as your hand goes to smash the window, though, he takes you by the wrist and shields you from your attempts. Furrowing your brows, you meet eyes with him, wordlessly asking for an explanation. Does he not want your help? Does he want you to fully stick to the plan? But you’re done with your part– the best thing you can do at this moment is help him with his side, no?
Your question is quickly answered when the man keeps tugging on your hand, leading you out of the store. Your feet buckle the tiniest bit when you cross the threshold, but that’s when you hear it– the sirens.
You didn’t notice them over the sound of the alarm and the whooshing of your blood in your ears. You have to leave– they’re close.
Changmin takes the lead, his sneakers making a loud noise against the pavement. You run after him, your pulse quickening with each meter. They could be anywhere, you think. They could stop you right here, on the run. You have to be careful.
The paranoia gets the worst of you, making you constantly check over your shoulder. Pupils shaking, you scan your surroundings– there could be anyone watching you that could tell the police that they saw you on the run. There must be cameras everywhere. You can’t hide. They’re always watching. You’re going to get caught, and you’re going to be sent to juvie. You can’t help your family–
“Y/N,” you hear him call from in front of you, the anxious thoughts vanishing from your brain fast, like the strike of a lightning.
His sunglasses are off, your eyes meeting. Something inside of you comes to a calm, your heart leaping, squeezing on itself. His hand grabs yours, a force dragging you to his level on the pavement. He’s not letting you fall behind, his legs giving the pace as you follow him, left, right, left, right… You’re almost there. You’re almost done.
It gets to the point of the route where Changmin bends down and searches through the bush. Your backpack is quickly found, thrown over his shoulder. He’s carrying both now, one on his back and one on his front, leaving you leaping behind him with a smaller duffel bag on your shoulder. You carry a lot of money with yourself right now. You don’t think you’ve ever seen so much money in one place in your whole entire life.
And then you’re finally there– the police sirens are no longer audible, there are houses all around you and the only thing accompanying the silence are the lampposts and your heavy breathing. Bending over at his waist, Changmin finally lets go of your hand. His fingers grasp the ski mask on his head, tugging it off and letting him finally breathe in the oxygen freely, not restricted by the thick fabric.
Your heart starts to calm down as you take more air into your lungs. Wiping your sweaty hands onto the fabric of your jeans, you unzip the hoodie and fan yourself with your shirt, hating the way it’s sticking to your sweaty skin.
It’s calm. Quiet. Just like any other day. Tonight, it feels a bit strange.
Changmin looks up at you, hair messy sticking up everywhere, his sweaty forehead glistening a little in the moonlight. A heartbeat passes by of you two just staring into each other’s eyes before his lips turn into a lazy grin, the dimple on his cheek showing itself to you in its full glory. It’s a strange situation to smile in, but it still makes your heart leap and thunder, a similar expression taking over your face. Then, he laughs. Like it’s funny. Now, this is getting ridiculous.
Still, you can’t help but mirror him. He must be crazy. Surely, you’re both going insane.
Shaking his head, he straightens his back and takes a step forward to where you’re standing, offering his hand to you for a high-five. When you meet him in the middle, he locks his fingers with you, squeezing your palm with his. “Almost there.”
“Almost there,” you repeat, nodding.
Now, all it takes is to settle the loans and leave. Leave fast, that is.
You take both of the bags into your hands and slowly, quietly enter your house. Changmin doesn’t follow you– he’s on to the second to last part of your plan as you walk up the stairs to your room and lock the door behind you. Unzipping the bags and dropping the money onto the rug in the middle of the floor, your breathing heavy as you prepare to count, you crouch and let your eyes wander for a bit along the notes in the middle of your room.
You’re rich. Only for a moment, though. You try to salvage the feeling the best you can– the satisfaction doesn’t hit your brain, though. You can’t fake it. You can’t make yourself believe a lie.
Pulling yourself together, your fingers slip across the smooth surface of each bill, your brain working fast as you rustle with the cotton. The amount gets added up, the sum growing bigger and bigger, and after each ten thousand, you put a rubber band on the roll and drop it back into one of the bags.
You’re using your school bag to carry the money to settle your family’s debt. There’s something deeply ironic about the sentiment. It almost makes you chuckle.
The light pink backpack gets filled with expensive pieces of paper, each roll lifting the tiniest bit of weight off your shoulders. Only a few more and you have enough, you think– and although you hate to admit it, the remaining sum you see scattered across your floor is less than the amount you expected. It’s okay, though– you know how to live with nothing. You’ll survive. You’ll get through it.
After you’re done counting, you zip up the bag. Shaky hands reach for the last notes on the floor. You take out the envelope you hid under your pillow and put the money inside before you hesitantly drag out the piece of paper you’ve treasured inside, letting your eyes scan over the last words you’re leaving for your sister.
My sweet Aerin.
Don’t look for me. Don’t worry about me. You’re safe now and everything is going to be okay. Take care of mum while I’m gone and make sure to study well so you get into a good university and make your big sister very proud. There are some things you are too young to understand, but I’m sure you’ll get it when you’re older.
Please don’t hate me. I’m always thinking about you. We will meet again one day.
Love, Y/N. :)
P.S.: keep this money safe. Only use it when you really need it.
The corners of your eyes burn, making you blink away the tears. Although your heart wishes for one last hug, one last goodbye, you know you can’t grant yourself the benefit. If you held your sister for a second, you know you’d want to hold her forever– and that’s something you can’t do anymore. Not after what’s done. You can’t look back and keep holding on to something so selfishly– there’s no going back after what you’ve done. You’re a criminal now– a proper one, but you did it all for your family. You hope that one day, at least your sister might understand.
Wiping the stray tear that’s rolled down your cheek, you breathe in to calm your erratic thoughts. Putting the letter back in and sealing the envelope, all while simultaneously gathering all the bags, you walk into your sister’s room and leave the envelope under her pillow.
Her sleeping body is still shorter than yours, but she’s no longer so little. She’s grown so much over the years. The thought of not seeing her grow into an adult pains you, but it’s the price you have to pay for her comfort.
You close the door to her room quietly. You walk down the stairs of a house you can no longer call a home, foot stepping over the threshold of a place you’re never coming back to. You don’t allow yourself to look behind you. You don’t allow yourself to say a proper goodbye.
The jog towards the car parked in your driveway feels like a marathon– you’re slowly running out of breath. You didn’t train hard enough for the responsibilities you’ve taken on your shoulders. It’s like you’re jogging with a bag of rocks on your back.
Changmin opens the door to the passenger’s side for you. The bags are dropped onto the backseat. When he asks you if you’re ready, you don’t look into his eyes when you nod. There’s a sinking feeling in your stomach telling you that he’ll see right through your lie– but you can’t waste any more time than you already allowed yourself back in the house.
Changmin twists the car key in the ignition and starts the car. You drive away towards the other side of the city. Your baby pink school bag is dropped at the gate of the expensive-looking house of which you found the address of on one of the contracts somewhere in the middle of planning your escape. You drive away before anyone notices. Somehow, it feels like by leaving the bag there, you’re losing your youth with it. You can never take that backpack back to school with you.
But then again, you’re never going back to school. Somehow, you know you lost your youth before you had a physical reminder. Your shoulders hang heavy even without the weight.
The drive is silent. You try to distract yourself by watching the stars.
When you were little, you promised your sister that you would be by her side forever. She was only 6 when she came home from school crying, telling you that her friends all went out alone without her and talked badly about her behind her back. It took everything in you to not go out of your way to hunt down those little heathens and give them a piece of your mind back then, but you remember it as if it was yesterday, telling your sister that ‘It’s okay, because you will always have me,’ as her big eyes glistened with tears, ‘remember, I’m your best friend forever, okay?’.
You don’t really know if she remembers that day. It was ages ago and she made new friends just two weeks after this whole fiasco, forgetting all about it. It stuck in your brain like a sticker, though, the one that you try to peel off but the residue stays behind, tearing at all edges, getting beaten up and looking rather pathetic– just like your words resonating in your brain, bouncing off the walls of your mind.
You broke the only promise you ever meant.
“You did well,” you hear a voice cut through the silence, the buzzing of the engine not really lullying you to sleep anymore, “you did the best you could.”
Eyes darting to your companion on the driver’s side, you hear yourself let out a soft chuckle. Teeth catching the flesh in your mouth, biting on the inside of your cheek to battle with the tears begging to haze your eyes, you try to focus on his side profile, studying the slope of his nose and the hair falling into his eyes instead, burning this image into your memory. You do everything but think about the events of the night.
Still, you ask. “Do you think she hates me?”
“I don’t think she could ever hate you, Y/N,” he says, voice tender and sincere, trying his hardest to fight the battle with you, to hold you up when you’re falling.
“I think that one day, she will grow up and she will understand. She will get why you did what you did,” he hums, eyes still sternly glued to the road ahead of him, “she will understand that you did it for her.”
Swallowing hard, for you feel like there’s a lump in your throat, you nod and look back outside of the window. This is something you’re going to need more time to get through, but this is a start– this is something. You have someone that understands. You have someone who shares the burden.
“Thanks,” you whisper.
The lampposts blur behind the glass with the speed you’re going at, your surroundings unfamiliar and strange to you. You don’t really know where you are or where you’re heading to– you let Changmin handle that side of the planning, since you don't really care where you’re gonna end up– but the hills and forests cornering the right side of the landscape make you feel strangely at peace. You must be far, far away from Seoul right now. Maybe you’re heading north. You don’t really mind. Maybe you don’t really care.
“How did you even get this car, by the way?” you ask, turning your head back to the boy in the driver’s seat.
“Oh, this?” he snickers, shrugging. “I know a guy. We used to be friends when he lived at the foster home. He aged out of the system like three years ago, but he knows a guy who knows a guy, and he just so coincidentally had this old thing laying around, so I figured we could use it for some time,” he says, nodding to himself.
Shaking your head in disbelief, you wonder just how far connections can take you in the world. It’s not quite as easy as if you were born to a rich businessman, per se, but you’ll take the off-handed nepotism of the underground world, if it makes your life go smoother– just for the time being, at least.
“Do you even have a license?” you ask.
“No,” he shakes his head. “But nobody has to know that–”
“Changmin!” you exclaim, terror shaking with your body.
“You really thought I was allowed to drive a car when you got into the vehicle, Y/N? Come on, I’m a foster kid. Do you really think anyone paid for my license?” he laughs, eyes darting to your figure momentarily, forming moon crescents when he notices the look on your face. “My friend taught me how to drive, though! He got adopted a few months ago, a super rich family– can’t say I’m not jealous, but that’s a story for another time–” he hums casually, as if it’s not a big deal, “and they bought him a car. Anyways, we stayed in contact and he let me try it at this empty parking lot, you know, where the abandoned factory is? And–”
Watching him speak, arms flying around the air making him look like an animated character– going as far as comically noticing that the car is heading to the left by itself when the wheel is unoccupied, quickly taking ahold of it with both hands and trying to make it stay on the road– it’s like a weight is slowly being lifted off your shoulders. It all seems so ridiculous. Insane. Crazy.
A laugh battles out of your throat. Changmin’s eyes meet with yours, a big smile spreading across his face. A dimple appears on his cheek, his essence contagious.
Suddenly, you can do anything in the world. Nobody can stop you. You fought with your future. You changed the trajectory of your life. You helped your mother. You protected your sister.
What’s a few years in hiding?
A foolish thought passes by your brain. You don’t dwell on it much longer, but it’s a nice thing to reflect on when you’re alone in the hostel room late at night, hyper-aware of Changmin’s presence on the other side of the bed– because it’s more expensive to get a room with two beds and it doesn’t matter anyway. You will push it back into the corners of your mind, ignoring it until this moment happens. But it’s there– creeping around, waiting for you to pay attention to it– and it says that as long as you have Changmin, you’re sure you can get on with anything. You can get used to this.
“Aren’t you hungry? There’s some snacks in the compartment over there,” he says, pointing towards it. Magically, your stomach starts to churn– he must have said it into existence. It stinks a lot of black magic, if you really think about it. You knew you should’ve been more careful around him.
Still, your hand reaches for the compartment, opening it. There’s an opened pack of Lay’s chips, a bottle of soda, a wrapped sandwich, and a small chocolate bar, wrapped in red packaging, smiling at you brightly from the darkness of the car. It’s looking at you with big heart-eyes, your favorite flavor of them all– peanut butter covered with tasty milk chocolate, a heaven on Earth– and then reality hits you like a truck again, your eyes burning with the realization.
Fingers wrapping around the treat, you study the packaging for a while– as if you weren’t familiar with it already, having the chocolate bar on days where you really felt like you deserved it, on days where you really felt like you earned it.
When you look up, you see Changmin altering his point of view between the road and your face, a bashful smile playing with his features. “Bought it for you this time,” he notes, “as a new start.”
A sniffle. Your hands shake a little, your lungs betray you with the intake of oxygen.
“No, you’re not gonna cry on me now,” he panics, shaking his head, “no, no, no. Open the chocolate and eat it, you moron, we don’t have time to be sentimental–” he grunts, although his intentions are too clear even without words– the silent support still makes your weak heart squeeze on itself.
You laugh, unwrapping the chocolate and taking a bite. Somehow, you manage to let out:
“You remembered.”
“Of course,” he hums, “how could I forget, I mean, you had a whole hour-long dilemma about it back at the gas station–”
“Shut up, you’re ruining it,” you grunt, tearing a piece of the chocolate bar and holding it up in front of his lips, “I’ll share it with you this one time just to make you shut up,” you say, shaking your head.
The boy takes a hold of your wrist to steady it, taking the sweetness into his mouth. He stays silent for a bit as he chews on it, but his fingers still stay wrapped around your skin as he moves your hand away from his face, resting it on your thigh. Warmth covers the back of your palm as he rests his own on it, his digits intertwining with yours. When he squeezes your fist in tender reassurance, you feel your heart skip a beat.
Orange hues appear behind your window as you drive off the highway. The land is still sprouse with buildings, but you enjoy watching the sun slowly waltz onto the sky, greeting you into the new day. Watching the side of his face as he focuses on parking in front of a lone diner in the middle of nowhere, you finally get in tune with the fact that Ji Changmin’s everything you have right now– everyone you can lean on and fall back on.
Maybe it’s been that way for a while now, but it only downs on you when you’re essentially on the same level now, no illusions playing with your mind– nobody’s son and nobody’s daughter.
“Breakfast!” he exclaims as he turns the engine off, seemingly impressed with his parking skills. When you get out of the car and he marches up to you, putting a cap onto your head and tugging it low to cover your face, ‘just in case’, tugging you by your hand into the diner, you can’t help but wonder– if anyone unsuspecting saw you right now,
would you look like lovers, or partners in crime?
#deoboyznet#the boyz x reader#ji changmin x reader#changmin x reader#the boyz oneshot#the boyz drabbles#the boyz imagines#the boyz scenarios#the boyz fanfic#changmin drabble#changmin oneshot#changmin angst#changmin scenarios#changmin imagines#changmin fic#the boyz fic#the boyz angst
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𝐓𝐈𝐒 𝐓𝐇𝐄 𝐃𝐀𝐌𝐍 𝐒𝐄𝐀𝐒𝐎𝐍 | 𝐋𝐔𝐊𝐄 𝐇𝐔𝐆𝐇𝐄𝐒
summary: you return to your small hometown for the winter holidays, encountering your high school boyfriend, luke.
warnings: maybe the tiniest bit of angst, kissing
a/n: based on ‘tis the damn season’ by taylor swift. genuinely one of my favourite things i've written
word count: 1.49k
In your small hometown, the snow fell softly, blanketing the streets and rooftops in a pristine white. It was that time of the year when the air was filled with the scent of pine and the merry sound of classic Christmas carols came from every small shop that lined the streets. Among the locals, there was a sense of anticipation and excitement, but for you, returning to your hometown for the holidays brought a mix of emotions.
You had moved away right after high school, desiring more in life than what your hometown could’ve offered you. When summer had ended, you moved to LA, finding your way in the busy city. The fast-paced lifestyle and bright city lights drew you in and you knew that this was the place for you.
Being in school as well as working a job there, you found yourself not coming home throughout your four years of undergrad, but rather your parents coming to visit a couple of times throughout the years. There wasn’t much of a reason to come to your hometown. The only reason you ever liked home was a non-factor now. You hadn’t heard from him since the day you left.
But now, freshly graduated and working as a freelance photographer, you’re finding yourself overcome with a sudden wave of nostalgia, pining for the comfort of a small town. You let your parents know, booking a flight home for the winter holidays.
Now that you’re back home, you feel a bittersweet sentiment about it. Every familiar spot in town carried a memory that you unconsciously buried long ago.
Walking down the main street, you window shopped, admiring all the festive decorations and knick-knacks they were selling. You dipped into the familiar coffee shop, a small business run by the family of one of your former classmates. You go to the front counter, admiring the case of pastries in front of you.
The bell above the door rings as someone steps in, letting in a cold burst of air. You shiver as it hits it, pulling your coat tighter around your body.
“Hey Corey, how’s it going?”
The voice was unmistakable, as your gaze shifted to the right, revealing Luke's tall silhouette. While the years had subtly etched maturity into his features, his voice retained its distinctive cadence. The unexpected reunion prompted a shiver, exacerbated by the cold burst of air coming from the door opening.
Luke looked at the figure next to him staring at him, surprised to see your face. You were possibly the last person he would’ve expected to see. He would’ve been less surprised to see the Pope standing next to him.
“Y-y/n.” Luke says.
“Hey, Luke,” you replied, a genuine smile on your lips. The exchange hung momentarily in the air, both of you acknowledging the unexpected nature of the encounter. “It’s good to see you.”
It took Luke a second to respond, still a little stunned by seeing you back home. “Yeah, yeah it’s good to see you too.” He says, eyeing your outfit. “You look good.”
Your clothing was an indication of the years that had gone by, now wearing clothing he never would’ve imagined being in your closet. The only semblance of the girl he once knew was in your scarf. The rainbow colour block scarf was a familiar garment for Luke as he was the one who had bought it for you, long ago when you celebrated Christmas together.
“Thank you, so do you.” You smile. “You’re not a teenager anymore, you’re actually like a man now.”
Luke chuckles, the smile on your face sends a rush of warmth through his veins. Even though he'd told himself and others that he had moved on, seeing you now it was clear that you never quite move on from your first love.
“You got a minute to spare? I’d love to sit down and catch up.” You say.
Luke doesn’t hesitate to agree, even paying for your peppermint hot chocolate as he remembered how much you loved it. The two of you sit down by the window, Luke asking the first question.
“What are you doing back here?” He asks you.
You furrowed your brows, chuckling lightly. “It is the holidays, Luke.” You say.
“That hasn’t been a reason for you before.” He shrugs.
You let his somewhat spiteful comment roll off your shoulders, instead choosing to reply sincerely. “Missed home. Wanted to come back and visit for a bit.”
Sitting here, across from your high school boyfriend, the memories flood back. You remember being attached at the hip, spending as much time together as your parents would let you. You would go to nearly every home game, sitting with his parents and cheering from the stands.
He was nearly constant made occupied by hockey, but he still managed to make time for the two of you, staying up till the early hours of the morning talking on the phone if that was the only option.
As the minutes passed, the years faded, and for a moment you felt like you were back in high school, navigating the awkwardness of young love. The conversation unfolded, revealing the divergent paths taken since your last encounter.
“Now I’m playing in New Jersey with Jack.” He tells you.
“No way!” You say. When you and Luke were in high school, he always told you it was his dream to eventually play with at least one of his brothers. Seeing that one of his dreams had become a reality, you feel a rush of pride for him.
“Yeah.” Luke smiles. “It’s such a cool city. And the guys are great. Once upon a time, you would’ve gotten along so well with one of the guys Dawson.”
You scoff. “What do you mean once upon a time?”
“Well, I think high school you would’ve gotten along with Dawson. You guys are both goofy and make jokes at inappropriate times… But now I’m not so sure.” Luke explains. “I think you’ve changed.”
You can’t help but let out a laugh. You hadn’t changed…had you?
“I have not changed.” You argue. “Plus, it’s been four years since we last saw each other. You don’t know me anymore.”
A confident smile forms on Luke’s face. “Oh please. I can still read you like an open book.”
You shake your head, although you know that’s probably true.
“C’mon, I wanna take you somewhere.” Luke says, getting up and putting his jacket back on.
You don’t question him, instead putting your coat and scarf back on, the scarf you’d come to remember had in fact been a gift from Luke long ago. You get in his car, a fancy new BMW he’d purchased with his new contract, and head down the backroads of your hometown.
Eventually, Luke pulls into the familiar parking lot of the Methodist church that sits right beside your high school, disturbing the pristine blanket of white snow that covered it.
“Prove to me you haven’t changed.” Luke says.
He gets out, standing in the headlights of the car. You question what he’s doing as he’s suddenly down on the ground and you can no longer see him. You get out and go to the front of the car, seeing Luke on the ground making a snow angel.
You let out a hearty laugh at the 6’2” boy making a snow angel in front of you, snow flying around him as he swiped it away.
“The old y/n would’ve beat me to it.” He teases, sweeping the snow aside using his limbs.
You get down to the ground, beginning to copy Luke's motions. You ignore your leggings beginning to become drenched from the snow, as well as the possible damage beginning to develop on your leather jacket. A giggle escapes your lips as the falling snowflakes land on your cheeks. Luke joins in on your laughter, the joint melodic sound echoing in the parking lot.
A few moments later, the pair of you stand up to admire your snow angels, although you realize they don’t look much like anything. You spin and face Luke who is now only inches away.
“I haven’t changed at all.” You say softly.
Luke turns to you, admiring the way snowflakes sat delicately on your hair and eyelashes. Your rosy cheeks were a sign of the cold that Luke had yet to really notice he was feeling. In that moment, surrounded by the echoes of your shared past and the beauty of the falling snow, Luke instinctively leans in.
His lips are so familiar to you, it’s as if the last four years of separation had never happened. Luke's cold fingers find your face, gently cupping it as yours grip onto his coat, holding him for balance.
As they stood there, back in each other's embrace beneath the gentle snowfall, it became clear that some things, no matter how much time had passed, were meant to find their way back to each other.
#luke hughes#luke hughes imagine#luke hughes x reader#new jersey devils#nhl#hockey#nhl imagine#hockey imagine
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you can't fall asleep (sukuna x reader one shot)
pairing: sukuna x reader
warnings: none, just so much fluff! and soft sukuna, maybe? he's just not the typical angry and super duper evil dude in this one.
word count: 1,512
GOJO VERSION OF THIS ONE SHOT HERE!
NANAMI VERSION OF THIS ONE SHOT HERE!
It was game night.
It's the one night of the week when you, Yuuji, Megumi, and Nobara gather in the living room for an endless evening of video games. The PS5 was a present given to the four of you from your ever-loving, mostly annoying sensei Gojo Satoru last Christmas. Since then, it was tradition for the four of you to spend an evening together, with pizza and burgers and a shameless amount of slander against each other.
But tonight was different.
You won't be able to join them because you're sick. Headaches. Nausea. Dry coughs and the flu. It was all because of the most recent mission you've been on alone, and it already took its toll on you. Your three friends insisted on moving game night to a different date, but you didn't want them to postpone further. You've been sick for three days already, and for three nights, they adjusted for you. Tomorrow was the start of a new week, meaning you could likely end your streak of having weekly game nights. And you didn't want that.
"Guys, it's just one night. I won't die if I miss one." You told them with a shaky laugh, the cough in your lungs threatening to bark its way out your throat with every huff of your breath.
"y/n," Yuuji started as he walked over to your weak body on your bed, patting your shoulder gently. He had the most serious, determined look on his face. "I'll win this for you."
You smiled at how adorable he was and decided to play along. "Thank you, Yuuji. You're my hero."
The evening stretched on, and as you stayed on your bed, your friends yelled over each other in triumph and defeat, followed by loud laughs that would jerk you awake. Your head pounded at the loud sounds coming from the living room. Despite the closed door, you could still clearly make out their voices and their stomping across the wooden floor.
It only made your head hurt more.
But you didn't have the heart to get out of bed and ask them to be a little quieter. It's been a long week for everyone, not only for you. Megumi and Yuuji completed a mission before you, and Nobara was sent to accompany Toge after your expedition. It was a busy week for all of you, and game night was a way of easing everyone from their exhaustion.
"Megumi you prick!" Nobara shrieked, and your head pounded at the high-pitched tone. "I'm going to fucking kill you on the next round!"
You sighed to yourself, massaging your temples while your other hand struggled to pull your blanket closer to your chest. It was freezing. Your socks and the thick covers didn't help your case at all.
"That's how a game works, you loser!" Megumi shot back just as loudly. Then thuds. You could picture the two of them on the floor strangling each other.
Oh how you love them so much.
"Shut up, you brats!"
Your heart stopped. Silence followed after the sudden and unexpected outburst.
Despite your current state, it didn't take long for you to recognize Sukuna's voice coming from Yuuji's body. He seemed to have taken over while the other two were arguing.
Considering the abrupt silence, Megumi and Nobara must have also been shocked. The only sound that could be heard was the background music that still played on the screen.
"Not even an ounce of consideration for your poor comrade. Even an old man and a newborn baby would startle awake by your gaudiness!"
Your heart hammered against your chest when you realized that Sukuna was talking about you. Then, footsteps padded across the floor before your door was opened, and you froze in your place, closing your eyes and hoping that your breathing didn't sound too erratic.
"Just cut the act. I know you're awake." Sukuna mumbled next to you and you slightly flinched, surprised that he was immediately by your side. He turned your night lamp on, illuminating the darkness of the room.
You realized there was no point in even pretending. You sighed, opening your eyes and coming face to face with the King of Curses himself, his red eyes staring down at you and his lips curled in a slight smirk.
"What do you want." You croaked out. Your throat was already dry.
"Here to help you," He replied nonchalantly as if it was the most normal thing to do. "It was about time that brat brought me out. Couldn't even think about helping or at least leaving you a glass of water."
As if on cue, he places a tall glass of water on your bedside table before gesturing for you to sit up. "Have a drink. I brought some painkillers."
You slowly sat up, leaned your back against the headboard and took a pill before popping it in your mouth. Sukuna then handed you the glass, and you were quick to gulp everything down in seconds. The liquid felt satisfying running down your dry throat.
"Thanks." You sighed. You then nodded at the door. "You can let Yuuji out now. I'm sure he wants to play more. You've done enough."
You didn't mean to sound like a jerk. Technically, you were still confused about where you stood with your—friendship? Relationship?—with Sukuna, after Yuuji has been teasing you that Sukuna wouldn't stop talking about you in his head when you first encountered him. He would find ways to take over Yuuji's body, even resorting to bribery and negotiation just to get himself out. He wouldn't admit it himself, but he's been so taken by you that he always craved your presence.
"The brat and I made a deal. He won't let me out for a week starting tomorrow if I could have an evening with you."
Your stomach fluttered. You tried to shrug it off as the occasional nausea that you felt, but deep down, you knew that you had a soft spot for the King of Curses as well.
"I—" You tried to say something after a moment's silence, but Sukuna was already up and going over to the other side of the bed. You could only stare up at him, dumbfounded.
"Move over a little, yeah?" He muttered quietly, and you found yourself obliging. You could only watch as he made himself comfortable next to you, the black markings on his face and shoulders more prominent underneath the light of your lamp. The tight black shirt that Yuuji wore emphasized the muscles on his arms and chest and you could feel the heat slowly creeping up to your neck. You were subconsciously imagining what it would be like if Sukuna had a body of his own.
It would be chaos for everyone.
For you.
"Come on now, don't be shy." Sukuna teased with an amused smile as he stretched one arm over your head, urging you to get closer to him. But you could only stare at him, still processing everything, asking yourself whether or not you had fallen asleep and were already dreaming.
He sighed in defeat before letting his arm wrap around your shoulder and pulling you closer to his body. He then took your arm and let it rest across his stomach, guiding your head to rest on his chest.
"Better?" He whispered. In fact, it was better. The warmth radiating off his body helped alleviate the coldness you felt, and he also took the liberty of pulling the covers above the two of you.
You felt rigid against him and you knew that he thought it as well.
"Come on, you little brat," He sighed, but he sounded fond and soft, unlike his usual, annoyed tone. "Relax yourself. I'm not going to bite you. Unless you want me to, of course..."
He received a weak slap across his stomach and laughed lightly, taking advantage of hugging you closer to him. He let his longer legs intertwine with yours, exuding warmth down your feet and ankles. His hand then reached up to run his fingers through your hair, softly massaging your scalp while his other hand held onto your arm and kept you from pulling away from him.
You've never felt so relaxed tonight. Everything felt so much better, warmer, cozier...
You were finally dozing off, happy that your body found the comfort and peace it sought hours ago. You couldn't even bring yourself to feel so reserved around Sukuna anymore, and you found yourself nuzzling closer to him, rubbing your cheek against his chest.
"Thank you," You mumbled sleepily, your hand sliding underneath his shirt and feeling the warmth of his stomach on your trembling palm. He just exudes so. Much. Warmth.
You felt his lips on your forehead, keeping it there for a long time. His hand rested above yours, just outside the cloth of his shirt.
"Sleep, my darling." He whispered against your skin. "Recover. I'll keep a look out for you tonight."
It was safe to say that you didn't want the evening to end.
#sukuna#sukuna x reader#sukuna ryomen#sukuna x y/n#sukuna x you#sukuna one shot#sukuna fluff#sukuna au#jjk#jujutsu kaisen#bear writes
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hi!! can i just possibly request a quick blurb about stella and her brothers cuddling?? the plot would be something like this!!
stella’s on her period and at the moment all she wants to do is cuddle, so she goes from room to room rounding her brothers up and bringing them back to her room for a impromptu sleepover!! and they all have just missed each other during the season!! so they don’t do the fake complaining siblings do when you come in to their room (or in her case bring them to her room) and they all just cuddle all night like they used to do when they were little☹️☹️
ps.. i would think stella’s periods would be HELL mine are (and i’m anemic) it’s just like the extra blood leaving your body even though it’s supposed to?? it’s just actual hell. i get SO dizzy and i throw up and the cramps are the WORST (and for the cake on the top!!) i get SUPER light sensitive🍾🍾🎉🎉🎊🎊 (everybody clap!!) so i just feel like i the worst hangover of my life dude
and the reason i’m humbly requesting this blurb is because i’m on mine rn😭😭 also IM SO SORRY if the period thing is tmi..
ꔫ dog pile!
°. — pairings ( Estella Hughes oc! X siblings! Hughes brothers )
°. — details ( g; fluff, humor. w; cursing. wc; 1.8k )
˖ ་ 💭 roro’s notes ( thank you so much for requesting! I absolutely loved the idea! And don’t worry about it being a tmi! I am also anemic and my periods are HELL! I tried to get this out as fast as I can, I just been busy with some family things. I tried to make it sweet, but I accidentally made it chaotic. I hope you enjoy! )
°. — ( feel free to send any requests of things you would like to see in this series, or if you just want to share some thoughts! I would absolutely love that! Please comment if you would like to be added to the tag list! )
au masterlist - you can find asks under #💌stellahughes!
°. — asks about stella and rut are under #⋆ ˚。⋆୨🩷୧˚ stella & rut!
°. — smutty asks about Stella and rut are under #⋆ ˚。⋆୨💒୧˚ smutty stella & rut!
Stella huffed in annoyance for what seemed like the hundredth time in the last five minutes, she sat up from laying in her bed and twisted her body to fix her pillows again. She just couldn't get comfortable, and God was it frustrating to keep on moving when she was having terrible cramps. But to be honest her being uncomfy isn't the full reason for her being frustrated. She was alone at home with her siblings, and instead of them spending time together, they were all spread out around the house doing their own thing.
The more she thought about it, the grumpier she got.
Stella decided she had enough of being alone, she grabbed her remote and paused the Christmas movie she was watching. She flung her thick blanket off her sweatpants covered legs (the sweatpants that she stole from Rutger) and got out of her warm bed. She slipped on her favorite grinch slippers and stomped her way out of her room and down the hallway to the closest room to her, Quinn's.
Luckily his door was already cracked, and Stella pushed it fully open with her hand, standing still in the doorway, her hands at her sides. Quinn’s head snaps up from his phone and towards his sister at the sudden sound. He opens his mouth to ask if she's alright, but he quickly closes it when he notices the grumpy pout on her lips. Stella stares at Quinn and speaks in a freakishly calm tone “My room now please.”
“Uhh alright” Quinn agreed in a confused tone, he got out of his bed and followed his little sister out of his room. His eyes widening at the sound of her slippers stomping against the floor. Jack, who opened his door, flinches at the sight of Stella standing right in front of him, not expecting to see her. Before Jack could say anything, Stella is grabbing his arm and pulling him with her. Jack just lets her pull him along to her room, looking behind at Quinn for some context on what's going on, but he just receives a shrug from the eldest Hughes sibling.
“Sit down” Stella mumbles tiredly pushing Jack to sit on the edge of her bed, she glances at Quinn with her grumpy eyes, and he moves to sit on her bed, his back leaning against her headboard his arms crossed over his chest, waiting for stella to explain what's going on. Jack looks up at stella waiting for an explanation but instead he gets a quick “Stay here.”
“What's up with her?” Jack turns around to ask Quinn once Stella waddles out of the room, moving up on the bed so he is leaning against the headboard, his legs sprawled out. Quinn looks too jack and responds casually “Its stella, we’ll never know.”
Stella moves into the living room, her eyes going to Luke, who was sitting on the couch with his back to her, playing Mario Kart. He was muttering to himself as he played, Stella having to stop herself from laughing at the sight. Stella moves to stand next to the tv, Luke looks away from the tv for a second to look at her for a moment before looking back to his game. “Hey stell”
“Lukey, come with me please” Stella sweetly asks Luke, taking a new approach to get him in her room. Last time she interrupted Luke at gaming, he tackled her to the couch (gently) and sat on her. Stella really didn't want to experience that again, especially with her cramps. She hoped that her sweet tone would convince him to come, but of course she was wrong. “Bro I'm in the middle of a game.”
“Bro, I don't care” Stella quickly snaps back, doing her best to intimidate his tone. Luke looked away from the screen to give her a ‘really’ look. But Stella stood her ground, crossing her arms over her chest and staring silently at him with her grumpy frown. Luke sighs and turns off the game, knowing there was no way he was gonna win this battle, not when she was extra emotional.
Stella smiles triumphantly when Luke shuts off the TV and stands up to follow her, Luke rolling his eyes at his little sister's antics. Luke follows behind stella and asks "What are we doin”
“We're having a sleepover, Quinn and jack just don't know it yet” Stella giggles, she knew she was being a ‘little’ dramatic, but she also didn't care. She didn't know how long she would be with all of her brothers until they had to leave. Luke grins, some of his best memories are him and his siblings having sleepovers. “Hell yeah! But I'm picking the movie.”
“Fine, but I'm not watching Christmas story again” Stella agrees causing Luke to laugh, ever since stella was little she has always had a strong hatred for that movie, and Luke being the annoying brother he is, likes to choose that as his choice for movie night.
“She got you too huh” Quinn jokes once the two youngest join them in the room. Stella rolls her eyes and slips off her slippers while Luke sets his phone on her side table next to Jacks, not before shutting it off, not wanting to get bothered by his notifications. “So, you gonna tell us why you kidnapped us?” Jack questions with an unnecessary amount of sass.
“We're having a sleepover, and I won't take no for an answer” stella remarked with the same amount of sass. Jack's offended look on his face from Stella's sass turns to a look of relief, he was worried Stella gathered them all to tell them bad news or something. Jack lets out a heavy breath and dramatically rests his hand over his heart “You could have just said that. Fuck i thought you were going to tell us your pregnant or somethin!”
Quinn grimaces at the thought, and Jack looks disgusted as he says the last part. Luke rolls his eyes at Jack's stupidity and scoffs “She's literally on her period dumbass” Quinn sighs, not liking the turn the conversation was going to. Jack ignores Luke's words and gives Stella a worried look “you're not, right?”
“I’m not pregnant jack!” Stella shouts with annoyed huff, purposefully digging her knees into Jack's legs when she climbs over him to lay between him and Quinn. Jack winces and brings his leg up to his chest, rubbing the skin to soothe the pain. Luke laughs loudly and pushes Jack a little to the side so there was room for him to lay, causing Jack to loudly complain but nonetheless scoot over. Quinn lets out a tired sigh and wraps his arm around Stella and pulls her closer so there was more room for the other two.
After a few more minutes the four siblings got situated in Stella's big bed, the blanket over all of them, poor luke had his feet sticking out of the end of the blanket since jack was being stingy and pulled the blanket all the way up to his shoulders. Stella yawned and rested her head on Quinn's chest, his hand that was resting on her arm came up to play with her hair. Jack, who was comfortably resting in the middle, had Luke resting his head on his shoulder. All of their legs somehow intertwined together just like how it was when they were little.
Luke finally decided on grown ups, well more like Jack grabbed the remote and pressed on it. The siblings watched the movie in silence, with the occasional laugh, the siblings just enjoying being all together. Stella didn't want to get sappy, but she couldn't help but too “I really missed this” Quinn smiled and held his sister tighter, he understands how Stella feels the most, both of them being away from their siblings while Luke and Jack were still together.
“I missed this too” Jack mumbled with a sniffle, he really did miss spending time with all his siblings, he loved having Luke with him, but it wasn't the same as having them all together. Quinn hummed in agreement while Luke sat up a little, staring at Jack with a teasing smile “Are you crying?” Jack glares at Luke and nudges him hard with his elbow, only causing Luke to laugh louder. “Fuck off luke”
“Don’t tell luke to fuck off” Quinn snaps at jack causing him to look at his older brother in disbelief. Stella groans in annoyance and grabs the remote off Jack's lap to pause the movie before saying tiredly “Can we all stop saying fuck and just enjoy the moment” Quinn doesn't look away from jack and jack finally caves in with a sigh, turning to luke to apologize. Stella presses play on the movie with a happy smile.
They continued to watch the movie, all of them laughing in unison at the same moments and talking about their favorite parts. It was like how it was when they were little, somehow all of them had moved closer together. Stella had a permanent smile as she watched the movie, finding so much comfort from being so close to her brothers, she felt so much better.
Quinn and Stella felt themselves slowly drifting off to sleep, their eyes fluttering close. Jack was munching on the candy Stella had on her side table, talking to Luke in hushed whispers so they wouldn't disturb the sleepy duo. Luke adjusts his position and frowns “Why is my ass so warm.”
“Because you're sitting on her heating pad dumbass,” Jack laughs, and Stella, who is almost asleep, couldn't help but join Jack in laughter. Quinn's eyes flutter open, and he clears his throat in confusion, his voice tired “What happened” Luke scowls at Jack as he starts to laugh louder, tossing his head back. Stella giggles “Just Luke being luke”
Luke pulls the pillow out from Jack's head and uses his long arm to reach over Jack and smack Stella right in the head with the pillow. Jack winces when his head smacks against the headboard and Stella gasps in shock at the hit. Luke didn't realize he had also hit Quinn in the face and soon he had three annoyed siblings staring him down. Luke laughs nervously “Uhh”
And before they knew it, they broke out into a full pillow fight, Stella teaming up with Luke after getting a good hit on him. The next 10 minutes are filled with laughter and Luke's screams as Jack and Quinn target him. The exhausted siblings soon lay down and before the next movie reached the half point, they were all already asleep. Tangled into Stella's bed, Luke and Stella sleep peacefully between their older brothers.
Another sleepover they wouldn't forget.
˖ ་ 💭 roro’s notes ( the ending is kinda rushed, it could have been so much better but I really wanted to get it out as fast as I can )
°. — taglist ( @privatemythss @bradenschneider )
#⋆ ˚。⋆୨👩🏻���🎨୧˚ stella hughes au!#💌stellahughes!#hockey#nhl#nhl imagine#jack hughes#quinn hughes#luke hughes#new jersey devils#vancouver canucks#qh43#jh86#lh43#quinn hughes x reader#jack hughes x reader#luke hughes x reader#hughes brothers#hughes sister#hughes family
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Tara Carpenter/Fem!Reader
Summary: Cast Away AU
Warnings: angst
WC: 4.0k
Author's Note: hope you guys enjoy
"Mmh."
The sensation of light kisses being placed on your neck was what brought you out of your slumber. Opening one of your eyes to see your beautiful girlfriend leaning over you.
"Tara. It's too early." You groaned into your pillow. A weight on your lower back. You didn't mind the sudden weight.
"Come baby. Wake up. I want to spend some more time with you before you leave." Her lips were close to your ear. Her warm breath sending you chills throughout your body. The warmth of her body on your bare back. Kisses being placed on your shoulder. You could feel her smiling as she placed kisses on you.
The sound of the storm raging on pulled you out of your thoughts. The wind hollowing as you tried your best to stay dry. But it was no use. The deflated raft doing little to keep you dry. The dreading realization that you were stuck on this island by yourself setting in.
You never really thought how dark the open ocean was. That you could only see when the lighting strikes lit up the sky. It was terrifying. You were scared. Scared and alone.
*
You weren't sure how long it's been since the plane crashed. You and tried to keep track of the days. Tried to keep sane, to keep your hopes high. Hope that you'd be rescued. But it had been hard. By the time the first month passed. Your hopes had come crashing down.
A month into trying to survive on a deserted island. You had come to realize that you were the only one on the island. No signs of people or animals on the island. There wasn't even any birds on the island. Which scared a you quite a bit. You never would have thought or even imagined you'd be in a situation like this. Your mind going strong to the show named Lost.
You prayed to what ever higher power that, that wasn't the case.
Hunting for fish had been hard. You had experience finishing and you were good at it. But that had been with fishing equipment and here you didn't have any equipment. Making fishing harder. Using what you could find from wreckage of the plane that washed up in the beach. Some luggage, parts from the plane, using everything you could get your hands on to help you in any way.
All you wanted was to see your girlfriend again. Your friends. Your family.
*
"How about we just spend the day together by ourselves?" You asked as you watched your girlfriend get ready for the small party. Since you were leaving for Christmas break to visit family, your friends decided to throw you a party. Spending the Christmas break with your family overseas. You had asked if Tara wanted to go with you but her sister was coming home from college and she wanted to spend some time with her older sister. Which you understood. It wouldn't be long till you, Tara and your friends headed back to college as well.
"Come on. You know they wanna see you before you go." Tara turned away from the mirror after putting on her ear rings. A knowing smile on her face as she looked at you. "Plus, we will have plenty of time alone before you leave." Placing her hands on your upper thighs giving them a squeeze. That really made you want to ditch the party.
"Tease." You mumbled as she giggled and pulled away.
"Seriously let's go before we're late."
*
You were tired, cold. Catching fish had been hard but you had gotten good at it. You were able to use the the deflated raft to collect water when it rained. It had been a great help so far. Using the coconuts you found to fill them like water bottles.
It was hard, you had lost so much weight so fast. With coconut water, sometimes rain water, rarely the fish you caught. It was not enough. You were lucky none of the wounds you had caught any infection. Building a fire was a lot harder. Thankfully you remembered some of the tips from a YouTuber you watched. Making the fire took time and a whole lot patience.
You were sure you were going crazy. Talking to the picture of your girlfriend that had been in your pocket watch that had been safely in your pocket. "You wouldn't happen to have any matches, would you?" You had cursed your self, you were not going to lose your mind. You refused.
But it was so lonely. You weren't sure when you last spoke. It felt like months had passed since the plane crash.
How long were you really going to last?
*
You laid on your bed with Tara on your chest. Her hand playing with your own on your stomach. Your palm on hers. You had been focused on the movie when you heard her giggle, the giggle taking your attention away from the movie.
"What?"
"Your hands make mine look so tiny."
You looked at your joined hands, seeing the difference in size. You let out a small laugh before you interlocked her fingers with yours. Bringing her fist up to your lips.
"I love your hands. They're so soft and just perfect to hold." She mumbled into your cheek before placing a kiss on said cheek.
*
Your hands were rough now. All the hard work you had to do with your bare hands. Nothing about your hands were soft now.
You had found a cave, one where you had moved all your things to. It was a nice shelter from the rain and storm. The fire you made helped you stay warm in the cave. The walls of the cave were filled the drawings. Ranging from the plane and the map of the world. You had tried to figure out where were you. Then there were drawings of your family, friends. Tara.
You wondered what she was doing at this very moment. You wondered if she liked the Christmas present you got her. It was a beautiful gold necklace one with her initials and yours. In a way you both had thought of the same thing when it came down to getting each other a present.
You had hoped she liked the present, what you would given to see her reaction.
*
"I got you something."
You were at the airport waiting for your flight to be called. The two weeks would go by so slowly without Tara by your side. Your flight wouldn't be called till another thirty minutes. She was holding a small wrapped box.
You took the small box, thanking her with a kiss. "Thank you baby. My gift is under Sam's tree cause I knew you would open it as soon as I leave." You laughed as she pushed you away but she had laughed as well. Knowing you had a point.
"Come on open it. I wanna see your reaction." The excitement in her eyes was so strong and you just couldn't help your smile to grow. So with the same excitement you carefully unwrapped the box. Jaw dropping once you saw what was in the box.
A gold pocket watch. You had one but it had broken and it was unfixable. You took the pocket watch out of the box. Seeing the your initials and Tara's on the top of the lid. A now gentle smile when you saw a picture of the woman you love when you opened it. A picture of Tara was inside. She was in her light pink jacket, her hands in the pocket of the jacket, a dimpled smile on her face as her head was slightly tilted to the side. Posing for the picture that you had taken. It was your favorite picture, although you had loads of pictures of Tara. It was your locksreen.
"Do you like it? They asked me if I wanted to add a picture and well I thought you'd like one of me. If you don't-I love it Tara. Thank you." You leaned over pecking her lips. She was quick to pull you back in by cupping your cheeks.
"Flight 180 to San Juan Argentina is now boarding." The hold Tara had on you tightened. A part of you (a huge part) didn't want to go. Yes your family was taking a vacation to Argentina. And you would absolutely love to explore that beautiful place. But you wanted Tara by your side. You knew Tara had her own family here so she had stayed.
So with one last hug and kiss. That felt like it didn't last long enough. Tara had loosened her hold on you letting you board your flight.
*
It had been too long now. Three and half years. Three years since you last saw Tara. Three years since you last saw your family. Three years since the plane crashed. Three years since you've been alone. No one was going to find you. You had accepted that now.
You would have been in college now. Starting your fourth year. You had only been able to finish one semester. Every time you thought about all the what ifs, it really made you depressed.
"I have it down. If I'm right. The wind is pushing north. Which means if we get the raft we built in the water the wind can help it push through the wave break." You spoke to the picture on the pocket watch. The picture was now a bit more faded now. You tried your best to keep it safe and dry.
"I know, I know. Be careful. But I am not dying on this island. If I stay here and let this chance pass. I don't think I'll last much longer." You've spent the past few weeks building the raft. You had found a part of a porta potty wash up on to the shore. You knew it could hopefully help the raft move with the wind.
"Enough coconuts to last me long enough. Some empty ones to collect water when I'm out there."
You turned your gaze back to ocean. You were either going to die out in the ocean and be eaten by birds or drown to the bottom of the dark ocean. But you were sure, positive that you were not going to die on this island.
"I'm not dying here."
*
The older woman had been so, so in doubt. She was back home along with her kids and husband. The nauseating and heartbreaking news that she just received. It was hard to believe. Her heart telling her it wasn't true. Refusing to accept what the police told her. They only looked for two months.
You couldn't be gone. Not her little girl.
Upon arriving to her house, her eyes filled with more tears. Seeing your girlfriend and your friends. Their hopeful faces. The moment she stepped out of the car. She knew that they knew based off her expressions. The cry that Tara had let out was enough for her to burst into tears as well. Her own cry being muffled by her husband's chest as he tried his best to keep his own emotions under control.
You were gone.
And they didn't even have a body to bury.
*
"Hello am I speaking to Mrs.Y/LN?"
"Yes this is she. May I ask who's speaking?"
"Hello ma'am I'm Detective Chen, I'm here to tell you that we found your daughter. Y/n Y/ln."
*
For the first time in three and half years. You were freshly cleaned, the nice older nurse offered to cut your hair. And you were thankful for that. With you being so clean you saw scars and cuts you didn't even know you had. Bruises all over your body. Severally sun burnt. A part of you felt weak. Doctor said that was normal due to how long you went without any nutrients.
Now you were waiting. Waiting for your family to get there. You had been asleep for quite a while.
"Y/n?"
At the sound of your mother's voice you looked away from the wall you were staring blankly at. Your emotions finally bursting. Your arms reaching out for the woman that gave you birth. The woman who loved you unconditionally. Her own cry being let out as she rushed to your side.
"Oh my baby. My little girl." The warmth that she brought was one of the things that you missed. Soon your dad and older sister joined the hug. The three of them holding you tight.
*
The flight home was long. Your sister filling you in on what was happening. Since you technically were pronounced dead, Tara had moved away. Your sister telling you that along with your friend group they all moved to New York. They no longer lived in Woodsboro.
"Oh and Y/n. They don't know. We haven't really been in contact with them. Tara's also..." She wasn't sure if she should tell you. But she knew you deserved to know. "Tara's with some guy now. They started dating about a month ago now. I think. From what I've seen." She remembers seeing the post online. Mindy had shared a video and in the video Mindy had mentioned how Tara and a guy named Frankie were dating.
You sat back in your seat. Your shoulders slumping as you looked down at the pocket watch. The hope had you since you had been rescued had dwindled down. Tara moved on. She moved on from you.
*
You weren't sure what to do. It's only been three days since you got back. Spending the past days in bed. Your mom refusing to let you out of her sight. You didn't blame her. You missed being under her care. Your room had been just how you left it. The pictures of you and Tara still hanging on the wall. You couldn't bring yourself to call her.
If she moved on, did you really want to bug her. Ruin her chance to fall in love again. Could you let her go?
You had to. It wasn't you choice to make.
*
Walking in shoes had been such a small thing you had missed. Not worrying about stepping on something sharp or hard had been such wonderful thing. You had beg your mom to let you walk. Being cooped up in the house had become a bit much.
One of the first things your dad did when he brought you back was going to the town cemetery and having your tombstone removed. You still saw it though. It was weird to see.
Being back home has been something you had fantasized. Now be actually home felt so unreal. You were afraid that you'd wake up from this dream and be back on that island.
"Y/n?"
You turned your gaze from the pond. You had been walking for quite a while before stopping at the towns pond and setting on the bench. Staring blankly at the pond. Since coming back, a part of you still felt like it was on island. You felt off being back.
Standing there was a shocked Christina Carpenter. "Oh hello Ms.Carpenter." The older woman took you in. You looked different, your face skinner, bruises and cuts on your face. When she heard about how you were found in the ocean. She didn't believe it. She remembered how devastated her youngest daughter was. You had been pronounced dead after the search party gave up after two months of searching. But here you were.
Her heart breaking at the empty, broken look in your eyes. You looked so lost. A completely different person from what she had grown to love for her daughter. "You're alive."
"...yea. Uh how have you been Ms.Carpenter?" The older woman hadn't changed much in the past three years and a half.
"Does Tara know?" She ignored the question you asked. At the look of your guilt face looking down, she knew the answer. Feeling a bit angry at that, remembering how much Tara suffered when you went missing. How many asthma attacks Tara suffered, remembering all the times she had found Tara in the middle of those asthma attacks. She held off on reacting on that anger when she saw your eyes. The tears. The confusion, the heartache.
"No. I wanted to call her. But my sister said that she's with someone. I didn't want to...she's moved on Ms.Carpenter. I feel guilty about that if I call her I'll cause her pain, confusion or...I don't know. I don't know what to do." The tears finally escaped your eyes. The love you had for Tara had grown stronger and bigger while you were away. To be back and not have her by your side had you feeling just as lost as you felt on that island.
*
"Hey mom." Her two daughters walked through the door. One of her daughters being accompanied by a tall man. They were home for thanksgiving break.
"My girls." Pulling both of her girls into a hug. The pocket watch felt heavy in her pocket. You had been playing with the pocket watch through out the whole conversation she had with you two days ago. She had convinced you to lend her it, so she can get it fixed. She had seen your hesitation, before you gently placed it on her open palm.
"Who's this?" The young man moved from behind one of his daughters, his hand grazing against her daughter's hand.
"Hello Ms.Carpenter I'm Danny. Sam's boyfriend."
Feeling her shoulders lose their tension she smiled and shook the boys hand. She knew Danny. She had spoken with Sam about the boy that she's been dating for a few months now. It was only now that she actually met the boy in person. Looking back at Tara who looked better than before but she knew her daughter. Her dark brown eyes still held so much loss. Pain. Yearning.
"Tara's where's what's his face? That boy you're dating."
Tara shook her head with a small laugh. "Mom for the last time, I went on one date with him and that's it. I'm not dating him. So you don't have to remember his name. I don't like him, not even a little bit and I'm not ready for a relationship." Tara couldn't bare the thought of loving someone like she loved you. Her love was only for one person.
Mindy had told her that it wasn't healthy to hold on. That she was only hurting herself. She knew Mindy was only trying to be helpful but she couldn't move on. Not from you. You were-are her soulmate. Her one true love. She's never met someone who made her feel that you had. If it wasn't you, then it was no one. She only ever saw a future with you. She had planned a future with you.
There was no one else she wanted to be with. People can call in denial all they wanted. She didn't care.
"Girls. There's something I need to tell you." She had planned this conversation in her head. She even wrote some things down. But now her mind was blank at actually having this conversation with her girls.
The girls sat down as Danny offered to take their things to their room. With Sam's directions of where her room was at he left up stairs. So with out saying she held out her hand to Tara.
Tara confused stuck out her hand, her palm open, her throat hitch in her throat when she felt the familiar cold metal on her palm. Her eyes misting with tears when she saw the same pocket watch. The engravings of your initials and hers on the top of the lid. The gold was scratched and obviously damaged but it still opened. There was her picture. Faded.
"How. How did you get this?" She wanted to cry. But the spark of hope flamed brighter than it ever had the past three years and a half.
"Tara, a cargo ship found her somewhere in the middle of the Atlantic Ocean. She's alive."
The words echoed in her head. The words she had dreamed of every single day to hear. She was finally hearing. But it didn't feel real. It felt like a dream. She didn't let her sister or her mother say anything else before she bolted out of the house. Ignoring the shouts of her mother and sister.
*
You had gotten out of the shower. Changing into some sweats and that hung loosely. You were still a bit too skinny. Your old clothes fitting you loose. Your sports bra was bought new. A size or two smaller than normal. Your cuts were a bit more healed. The scar you had on your palm was something you'll always remember. You had fading bruises. You were healing. Slowly but surely.
Stepping out of the bathroom connected to your at the same moment your room door was pushed open. Standing there was the woman that kept you alive. The woman that you dreamed of seeing every single day that you were on that island.
"Y/n?"
Her voice, it was like you were hearing it for the first time. She was beautiful as ever. Seeing her only few feet away from you.
"Tara."
It was all she needed to hear to cross the room. Crashing into you in a tight hug. Her grip hurt but you didn't care. Cause you hugged her just as tight as she cried into your chest. The ache, the emptiness you felt before it was forgotten the moment you had Tara in your arms. She refused to let you go. Refusing to unwrap her arms around your bare waist.
Her heart broke at how skinny you had become. She couldn't imagine what you weren't through. All the scars and bruises you had all over your body. She pulled away to look up at you. Your eyes were also wet from crying. But they held so much more. Her hand coming up to cup your cheek. You leaned into her palm eyes closing.
"I missed you so much."
"I'm sorry."
"You have nothing to be sorry for. I'm just so happy you're here now." Her hands never left your body. Although she was a bit peeved that no one told her the exact moment you were found. The question was, why didn't you call her.
By the way she was looking at you, you could guess what she was thinking. "It was three years, almost four. I wasn't sure if...if you know I didn't know if...I saw the post Mindy posted and I thought you were moving on. I didn't want to, I don't know bug you?" You finally pulled your gaze away from those brown eyes that read you so well. You now felt unworthy of Tara's love. You weren't the same and you for sure didn't look the same.
Tara watched the way you shrunk in on your self. She knew you too well. She knew you since you both were toddlers. When you wanted to cry, you would blink more than usual, you avoid eye contact. That time you fell off a roof and had a nasty scar on your leg, you had refused to wear any shorts. She later found out that it was cause you felt self conscious about the scar.
She watched as you pulled away from her and put on a shirt. "Y/n, I still love you. I loved you then and I love you now. Nothings changed. I'm not dating anyone. I haven't dated anyone since—Mindy is an idiot. You know that. The only person I've ever loved and still love is you." Her hand gripped yours. How she missed holding your hands.
With her other hand she gently took your chin and made you look at her. "I love you."
Her eyes held so much honestly and love. Making you want to cry, you wanted to know what you did to deserve someone like Tara. Her compassion, her love, her loyalty.
"I love you to."
The night was spent with you in Tara's arms. She had dreamed of you being in her arms, and now thankfully it had come true. You were back, you were back in her arms.
Safe and sound.
:)
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