#a realization dawned on me that I can actually write both it and body back

[coffeeandcalligraphy]

that lyric in athena by greyson chance where he goes "I don’t want to be the man I was / I want to jump into the innocence of your touch / fall into your ocean hands / pick me like a cherry blossom in Japan" is lonancore btw

[mangostarjam]

the proposal — kaiju no. 8, hoshina soshiro x f!reader, established fwb to fake engagement to lovers, smut, oral (m!receiving), piv sex, creampies, fingering, unprotected sex, slight exhibitionism/sex act in a public place, praise, mentions of oral (f!receiving), reader is referred to as 'girl', 'pretty girl', and 'honey', reader is unable/chooses not to have kids, written for the romcom collab run by @bloompompom ! 11.6k words

a/n: i really should've rewatched the movie before writing this but i got carried away! also my first time really writing in soshiro's pov which was an interesting challenge. would i do some things differently? yeah. am i going to share this anyway and apply those things next time? yeah. anyway i hope you enjoy!

Hoshina Soshiro wakes up with a handful of something soft.

It only takes a moment before he realizes what's going on. You've been sleeping over more and more often lately, and your previous activities must've worn you both out more than expected.

It makes sense. Soshiro was a little stressed, and you've always been willing to help him relieve it.

He squeezes your tit and snickers quietly when you grumble at him. You're sleep-warm and utterly relaxed, your body melting back into the solid length of him as you resettle in his bed. It's barely dawn, the room brightening little by little, the light catching on the loose strands of your hair and the sweep of your eyelashes as you scrunch your nose at his teasing. He pinches your nipple lightly.

"Hoshina-kun… I'll dropkick you if you're trying to go again right now."

"You're the one who keeps squirmin'," he points out. You push your hips back against him again in retaliation and his cock twitches with interest. "You sure ya don't want another round? One for the road?"

He watches you consider it, your eyes blinking open and squinting at the clock on his nightstand. He rolls your nipple between his fingers and smirks when your lashes flutter at the feeling, only to bite back a groan when you arch into his touch. Fuck, you're so sexy.

"You just want me reporting to Narumi with your cum staining my panties," you mutter. Oh, now there's an idea. He knows you can feel how hard he's gotten, pressed up tight against your ass. Soshiro won't deny that you're right.

You're naked besides the shirt you grabbed from his closet last night, though the soft material has rucked up around the curve of your waist. He's similarly barely dressed, just the thin barrier of his briefs keeping him from pressing against you fully skin to skin. You're so soft and pliant in his arms, fitting perfectly in the crescent moon shape of his body as his little spoon.

"You'd like that," he murmurs, relishing the little shiver that goes up your spine. In a moment of weakness, you had confessed once that you really liked his morning voice (and his seriously-gonna-kick-this-kaiju's-ass voice, and his follow-my-orders voice, and — but then he'd turned you around and fucked you against the counter muttering praises in your ear as you came all over his cock). "Don'tcha think it'd be fun? He's already gonna know you spent the night."

As evidenced by the many hickies Soshiro's left all over your neck. It might be a little childish, this possessiveness — especially when you're not even his, not really — but Soshiro likes leaving little marks wherever he can, some sort of proof that you were together and that you chose to fall into bed with him.

And you keep choosing him, even as Captain Narumi Gen of the First Division actively pursues you. You tell Soshiro all the time that rank doesn't mean much to you, and it's not like you're sleeping with people for advancing or clout — but you're a platoon leader in the First Division and that means you spend way more time with Gen than with him. It wouldn't surprise Soshiro if one day you decided he wasn't worth the hassle of traveling down to the Tachikawa base on your days off, if you decided that Gen is actually kinda hot and could get in your pants for once.

That'd be the end of your friends-with-benefits relationship. The two of you agreed from the beginning that it'd be exclusive — neither of you wanted to worry about protection, and Soshiro didn't want to bother with the hassle of other partners anyway. It was easiest with you and only you.

"Hey," you mutter, turning in his arms to face him and leaning up to bite fondly at his chin. "You're thinking too much."

He knows he is. The message he received yesterday from the Hoshina clan sits heavy in the back of his mind, though he can kind of ignore it as you suck bruises into his neck.

Soshiro groans low in his throat and leans down to kiss you as you sneak your hand into his briefs. He feels hot and shivery, arousal pooling deep in his gut as all the blood in his body flows away from his brain. You give his cock a few slow pumps, smearing the precum gathering at the tip to help the glide of your hand along his length, squeezing and twisting your wrist just right as he shudders and grabs at your ass. You kiss him hard, seemingly determined to erase his train of thought, dragging your tongue along his teeth and sucking on his lip as you throw your leg over his hip. "Fuckin' hell —"

"You're so hard," you mutter, rolling the two of you over so that Soshiro's flat on his back with your legs on either side of his hips. His hands go immediately to grip your thighs, eyes widening at the wet smear of arousal you leave along his lower abs as you drag his briefs halfway down his legs. He kicks them the rest of the way off as you press down on one of the bruises you left on his shoulder. "Fuck, Hoshina, you're so — you look so — I'm gonna — wanna ride you, 'kay?"

As if he'd say no. As if he'd ever protest anything you want to do when you're grinding the soft folds of your pussy along his cock, practically dripping on it as you adjust the angle and squeeze the base of him in your haste to sit on it.

Soshiro doesn't cum right away, though it's a close call. The wet, sticky heat of you enveloping his bare cock is a feeling he'll never get tired of. It's heaven and hell all wrapped up in you, in being with you, being inside you. You moan as he enters you, a low, rough sound almost punched unwillingly out of your chest.

"Hold on to me," he grunts, offering his hands for leverage. You take the offer gratefully, squeezing his fingers as you bottom out and pant. "Fuck, how're you still so tight?"

"Why're you still so big?" you huff, wiggling your hips a little to adjust to the stretch. Soshiro tenses, groaning as your walls bear down on him. He's not going to cum. He won't. He can last a bit longer. "I thought we went like, three rounds last night," you mutter, "you should be wrung out by now."

Soshiro laughs. "And I thought I fucked ya last night," he says. "Thought I fucked ya good and proper. But you're just too good for me, huh? Too good at bein' so fuckin' perfect."

He punctuates his statement with a sharp thrust, relishing the startled whine you let out and laughing a little more when you shoot him a halfhearted glare. "Quit it," you demand, "let me do this."

You raise your hips and drop down on him carefully, working up into a pace that makes your tits bounce. Soshiro wants to see — wants you naked — and thankfully you don't stop him as he reaches up to pull your borrowed shirt off. The change in angle makes your stuttered moans veer into whines, mixing with the sound of skin slapping skin echoing in the morning air. "You're doin' so well," Soshiro groans, hands coming up to hold whatever he can. You grab his shoulders for leverage, back arching as he leans forward to suck one nipple into his mouth.

"Hah — ahh, Hoshina —"

"What'd I tell ya to call me?" Soshiro grunts, switching to your other nipple with a lewd pop. He swirls his tongue around the pert bud and reaches down to rub quick circles around your neglected clit. "C'mon, pretty girl, what'd I say?"

You gush around his fingers, coating his cock in a ring of white as you bounce on it desperately. Soshiro can tell you're getting close — your whines get cut off, your walls get tighter, you dig your nails into his shoulders — and it only makes the coil threatening to snap in his gut tighten harder.

It's too early for this. You're worn out from last night, and pleasure is making your muscles strain. Soshiro can feel your thighs trembling with the effort of riding him. He leans back on one hand to help, timing his thrusts as you drop back down, hitting that spot deep inside you, keeping his other hand at your clit as you sob. The friction is driving him insane — you feel so good. He can usually keep his mouth shut during sex, only letting out rough groans and stuttered moans, but knowing you're affected by his raspy morning voice has him dropping his filter with every thrust.

"Feels so fuckin' good, pretty, you look so perfect on my cock," he grunts. You tilt your head towards the ceiling as you pant, granting him access to suck more bruises into your neck to bloom along with the ones from last night. "You're such a good girl — such a good fucking girl —"

Oh, he's gonna cum soon. You're squeezing him so tight, your wet walls squelching obscenely with every thrust.

And then you say it —

"F-fuck, Hoshina — I'm gonna — Soshiro I'm gonna cum —"

Ah, fuck.

"Nghh," Soshiro feels it snap, feels his thrusts get sloppy as he cums, thick ropes of white painting your insides as you whine and cry and cum around him, squeezing him tight, feels the sharp zip of pleasure racing through his body as all his muscles release.

You collapse on top of him and he catches you, breathing hard, sweat beading his temple and dripping into your hair. His arm is loose around your waist and he's trembling holding the two of you up with his hand planted flat on the mattress. "Can't believe you still came so much," you mumble into the side of his neck, "what the hell, Soshiro?"

"It's a going away present," he mutters back, laughing fondly when you pinch his side. "Make sure ya keep it in while you're reportin' to your Captain."

There's only the sound of harsh breathing for a moment as the two of you recalibrate and return back to your bodies.

"I'll need my panties," you say, lifting your head and pressing a kiss to his cheek. "Do you know where you tossed them last night?"

Soshiro traces a pattern idly along your bare back, following a few of your scars and smoothing along the sweaty skin. "You don't wanna shower first?"

You shoot him a look and he laughs. "You'll spill out if we do — unless you're planning on going again."

Soshiro hums and leans forward to kiss you, languid and easy. You kiss him back, as naturally as breathing, and maybe there's some post nut clarity involved but the idea he's been floating in the back of his mind seems a little more like a good plan the longer he kisses you.

"What d'ya think about marryin' me?" he asks.

"Is this why you called last night sounding like that?" you ask. Soshiro tilts his head and you copy him, pinning him in place with your pretty eyes. "I came over thinking you needed to talk, but you… distracted me."

Soshiro snorts. You still sound breathless, hazy and floating off the high of your orgasm. "I got a message from my family."

"The entire Hoshina clan?"

"Yeah," he says, shifting you more comfortably in his lap. He's getting soft, but you make no effort to move from off of him. "My dad was askin' me to come back."

"To do what? You're the Vice Captain of the Third Division — surely they've stopped hounding you about quitting the Defense Force to be a teacher." You say it so easily, as if they'd be stupid to bother trying. "You're literally better than Narumi's dumb ass against mini kaiju. Your family should be proud."

"They said something 'bout my future prospects," Soshiro admits. He has no idea why you have so much faith in him, but he appreciates it. "So it sounds like I'm bein' set up with omiai. I was thinkin' it'd be nice ta walk in with a fiancée so I could avoid that whole mess."

You hum thoughtfully, but it's not an answer. Soshiro helps you get off his lap, following you into the bathroom and helping to wipe you down with a wet towel as his cum dribbles out of you. Your panties are located and you slide them on, sighing. "I wish the train ride back was shorter, but there's no way I can sit that long with your cum in me. Sorry, Hoshina-kun."

"You're gonna kill me someday," Soshiro says frankly. He didn't actually expect you to try. You snicker and flick his forehead affectionately.

"You're the one who thought this was a good idea," you point out. "For someone who isn't interested in having kids, you sure love cumming inside."

Soshiro raises an eyebrow. "Pot. Kettle."

You laugh. "Fair point," you say. "Anyway, you just need me to pretend as your fiancée, right? I'm down. Finding another fuck buddy would be a pain at this point, and you piss off Narumi the most, so it works for me. Will I get to tour the famous Hoshina training compound?"

"Yeah, 'course," Soshiro says. There's a funny feeling sitting in his chest, but he doesn't have time to think about it as you give him a sweet kiss and loop your arms around his waist. "It'll just be for a lil while. Just 'til my family gets off my back."

You shrug. "Do you want me to record Narumi's reaction when he finds out your dick game was so good I agreed to marry you?"

Soshiro laughs. You feel good pressed against him like this, hugging him in just your panties. You usually save your physical affection for behind closed doors, so Soshiro's gotten used to soaking up as much as he can before you inevitably leave.

"Go shower," you say after a moment of aimless kisses. "I can make your coffee."

"You're the best," he mumbles into your hair. You tilt your head up to accept another careful kiss to your temple, eyelashes fluttering closed in appreciation. "I'll be quick."

"That's what you said last night, but now I'm all sore," you laugh, pushing him towards the shower. Soshiro obeys, scrubbing up and getting ready for the day. You grab your toothbrush from its spot next to his on the counter to brush your teeth, and then you wash your face with the cleanser he picked up for you the other day. You shoot him a wink through the mirror when you catch him checking out your ass, and then you skip out of the bathroom and Soshiro listens through the open door as you hum absently in his quarters. Captains, Vice Captains, and platoon leaders get the most space, so while his apartment isn't as large or as fancy as Captain Ashiro's, it's still pretty sizable. There's enough space for a small kitchenette, at least, and soon the smell of freshly brewed coffee wafts in to cut through the steam of his shower.

Soshiro pulls on his uniform, toweling halfheartedly at his hair as he finds you on his couch. You're nursing a mug with the JAKDF design flaking off — the one you always use, which is why he hasn't replaced it yet — and there's another fresh mug on the table. Soshiro sits beside you and takes a sip.

"Perfect," he says, "thanks, sweetheart."

You've dressed back in your own uniform, rumpled and sleep worn. "That'll cost three kisses," you say, smiling into your mug. Soshiro hums, arching a brow.

"The cost's gone up? What's up with that?"

You shrug demurely. "Inflation. Sorry, but rules are rules."

Soshiro is careful to grasp your mug as he leans over to kiss you, bypassing your softly puckered lips and going for your nose and cheek and forehead instead. Your lashes flutter as you open your eyes to glare at him playfully. He's hovering close enough that he can feel your breaths on his skin. "The cost for not paying up properly is five kisses."

"Ah, well, I guess I'd better pay up," he murmurs, setting your mug aside and kissing the silly smile off your lips. You giggle into the kisses, delighted and giddy, a version of you that Soshiro only sees behind closed doors.

"Your hair's still wet," you say, pulling back with a wrinkle to your nose. A few stray droplets of water slide down your cheek. Soshiro watches, mesmerized, as your tongue darts out to catch it. "C'mon, I'll help you."

You sit up and take the towel from around his neck, fluffing up his hair as he tilts his head obligingly towards you. It's nearly time for you to catch the train back, but you take your time, pressing the water out of his hair carefully.

It's a little too sweet, a little too comfortable and domestic. At the beginning of your friends-with-benefits arrangement, you never stayed the night, and you had laughed when he offered, preferring quick fucks around the base in the limited time you had together. That was about a year ago, and now you show up in the evenings, claiming his pillows and demanding he update you on the latest story he's been reading before getting down to business. Any more of this and he'll start getting ideas.

"If I didn't know any better, I'd think ya liked me."

Soshiro peeks up at you from beneath his bangs, a lopsided smirk on his lips, ready to fall back into the easy pattern of teasing and bantering with you. Just like clockwork, he catches you rolling your eyes. "I wouldn't let you or your dick anywhere near me if I didn't like you at least a little bit, Hoshina-kun."

"And 'cause I piss off your Captain," Soshiro says. You nod with just a fraction of hesitation, but that's probably because you're distracted by the towel in his hair.

"Narumi gets so grumpy," you laugh. "You'd think he's never been rejected by girls before."

"He's never been rejected by someone as pretty as you," Soshiro says absently, reaching up for the towel. His hand brushes the back of yours and you drop it abruptly, covering up the moment with a scoff as you turn quickly to grab your mug. "Want me to walk ya to your train?"

"I'm a big girl," you roll your eyes. "I'll be fine." Soshiro watches as you drain the rest of your coffee and rise to bring the mug to the sink. You pad back and lean over the back of the couch to give him a light kiss on his forehead, and then you're sliding your boots on at the genkan and waving with one hand on the door. "See you next time, fake fiancé."

His apartment is quieter, emptier without you, so Soshiro finishes up his own coffee and heads out to face the day. His muscles are pleasantly sore, relaxed in the way he always is after spending time with you, and now that he has a plan for dealing with his meddling family, it's easier to cheerfully put his new rookies through a rough training session.

You send him a message later in the day, a short video clip of you in Captain Narumi's office. Soshiro settles in his desk chair as he watches, mindful of Okonogi searching for some records in another corner of the workspace. The video clip starts off with the front facing camera, where you grin and throw up a peace sign, before it flips to show the First Division Captain hunkered down in a mess of boxes and a rumpled futon, fingers tapping rapidly at buttons as he stares at the television screen with bloodshot eyes.

"Reporting, Captain Narumi," your voice sounds cheerful and Soshiro can see Gen's head twitch towards the sound.

"I'm almost done beating this boss," Gen says hurriedly.

You hum, but it's clear you don't particularly care. "Then I guess I can tell you later about how I'm engaged to Vice Captain Hoshina."

"Hah?!" Gen's controller flies into his blanket as he scrambles up, a pathetic noise coming from the television as a Game Over flashes across the screen. "What did you just — are you recording this?"

"I promised I'd show my future husband," you say sweetly, and damn if the phrase doesn't stir something strange in Soshiro's chest. "Do you have any congratulatory words for us?"

Soshiro brings his phone closer to his face, snickering as you zoom in on Gen's rapidly contorting expressions. The Captain of the First Division seems to refocus, gaze zeroing in on your neck. "You're pulling a prank on me," Gen says. "You look like you got attacked. You two aren't even dating. What about giving me a chance?!"

The video shakes as you shrug. "What can I say? We've been together for a year now, you know. Hoshina-kun's the only one I trust to treat me right. Anyway, I've gotta tell everyone else, thanks, Captain."

The video flips to show your face again, and you give a little wave and a smile to the camera. "See you soon, love!"

It cuts off with a strangled noise from Gen's direction and the bright peal of your laughter in response. Soshiro can't help laughing too, clutching at his side as he scrolls through the rest of your messages to see screenshots of the First Division Captain's face looking like he belongs in several viral memes. And if Soshiro's ears feel a little warm at your new term of endearment for him, well, that's just for him to know.

Okonogi pops up with a stack of files and sets them on the table. "What was that, Vice Captain?"

Soshiro hums, tapping out a response to you. Before he can send it, you send a blurry photo that makes him sit up straight, eyes wide. It's clearly your panties shucked down your thighs, taken from an awkward angle, but even with the shadowy lighting he can see the way your fingers are glistening with creamy white liquid stretching down to your pussy.

Is that… is that his cum from earlier this morning?

You send him a thumbs up emoji. Mission success, you type, as if you aren't giving him a heart attack from several kilometers away.

Okonogi clears her throat as Soshiro locks his phone and rubs at his face. "Sir?"

"Ah, my fiancée just sent me a funny video."

The news spreads across the two divisions rapidly, much to Gen's loudly voiced annoyance and Soshiro's amusement. It isn't exactly a secret that you have an exceedingly friendly relationship with the Third Division's Vice Captain, but the details of your engagement are enough to fuel the communal bathhouse rumor mills for a solid few weeks. Love in the Defense Force isn't rare by any means, but most of the higher ranked members are more focused on their fighting abilities than romance, so it's big news for the Defense Force's strongest miniature kaiju combatant to be involved in something like an engagement.

Time moves differently in the Defense Force — there are daily patrols, training sessions, sporadic days off — but everything gets put on hold when a kaiju emerges in the area. Then it's destruction minimization, civilian rescues, kaiju neutralization and the aftermath of reports and reconstruction and kaiju deconstruction. The First Division gets a few more than the Third's, just by virtue of being based next to the ocean, and it feels like ages and no time at all before Soshiro sees you again.

"What's this?" you ask, shutting his office door behind you with a soft click. "Are you behind that mountain of paperwork somewhere, Hoshina-kun?"

"M'here," he grumbles, reaching up to stretch out the stiffness in his back. Nobody ever talks about how much paperwork comes with going up the ranks. "Thanks for comin' by."

You snicker as he spins to face you, letting him tug you closer by the hem of your uniform jacket. "Did you call me over to rescue you? Sorry, sir, but I have my own paperwork to die under."

Soshiro snorts and tugs you even closer, until your knees bump his. "I needed to give ya somethin'."

He digs around in his jacket pocket for a moment before producing a small box. Your eyes widen, but you don't say anything as he takes your hand and slides the ring into place. It's a simple band, safe to wear beneath combat gloves, but the gem inset is a clear, brilliant amethyst. "Unconventional color," you remark, tilting your hand in the light.

This is somehow more embarrassing than he thought it'd be, but thankfully you don't seem to notice the flush creeping up his neck. "You said once that ya liked my hair color in the light. Since it's just a favor, I figured you'd be alright with somethin' a lil different."

You meet his eyes and grin. "Oh? Is this where you promise me a real ring when we get engaged for real?"

Soshiro's heart kicks in his chest as he coughs his surprise. You laugh, leaning down to press a soft kiss to his forehead, mussing up his bangs. He blinks as you comb the strands back into place. "I dunno, you'd hafta move to Tachikawa if we got married for real."

If you're not joking — if you really do feel something else, something more —

You tilt your head, your eyes clear and sparkling as the setting sun hits your face just right. The angle of light swallows your pupils, throws your gaze into something unreadable for just a moment. "You don't think you could unseat Hasegawa-san as Vice Captain? He should probably retire soon, you know. He looks way too stressed."

"Your Captain would never take me," Soshiro scoffs. "Besides, I promised I'd always clear a path for Captain Ashiro."

You're quiet for a moment. Soshiro can feel his heartbeat in his throat. "I guess I could move here," you concede, humming. Your fingers still on his bangs. "The company's not too bad."

"Not too bad, huh?" Soshiro raises an eyebrow, skims his fingers along your waist. The air feels charged with something unspoken, something different — but he knows how to drag it back to normalcy. "I can't say much 'bout the company, but what about this desk?"

Mischief sparks in your eyes and he answers your grin with his own. That's more like it. "The last time we fucked on this desk, Okonogi-chan complained that all your paperwork was messed up afterwards," you point out. "I have a better idea."

Soshiro's eyes widen and a bolt of lust zips down to his cock as you sink to your knees, settling between his thighs with a hum. You shuffle and turn a little, positioning yourself between his chair and his desk. "What're ya doin'?"

"You still need to finish your paperwork, right? How many reports do you think you'll get through before I can make you cum down my throat?" Your eyes flash in the light and he shudders, hips jumping into your touch.

"Ya lock the door?" Soshiro huffs, shifting in his seat as you run your hands along his thighs. Fuck, his pants are getting tight. You shrug noncommittally and drag your finger along the hard bulge of his cock. "I didn't call ya over for this, y'know."

"I know," you unzip his pants and smile as he lifts his hips enough for you to yank the fabric down. His cock springs free and you lick your lips. Soshiro groans. The way you're looking at him — eyes bright, lips wet and shiny, eyelashes fluttering as if you're shy when you reach out to lick the beads of precum on the tip of his cock — should be fucking illegal. "You'd better get to work, Vice Captain."

Oh, fuck you. Soshiro knows you know exactly how to rile him up, and using his title in that tone of yours is one guaranteed way to get him that much closer to cumming. You blink up at him expectantly. "You can't be serious."

You stroke his shaft with your left hand, the cool metal of your new ring sending electricity up his spine. It warms to body heat quickly, but the added texture is enough to keep all of his senses trained on your touch. He grabs a pen as you twist your wrist on the upstroke and he nearly drops the damn thing. "You'd better get them done correctly, Soshiro."

"I hate you," Soshiro chokes out a grunt as you suddenly engulf him in your mouth. His balls tighten and he snaps his pen in half, heat and lust and lightning gathering in a maelstrom below his gut. "Fuck, you feel so good."

You swirl your tongue around the tip as you suck, hollowing your cheeks and swallowing him down without giving him any time to brace himself. The wet, warm heat of you is heaven around his cock, the tight suction of your lips sending him spiraling with every stroke. It's hot in the office — sweat beads at his hairline as you settle into a steady rhythm, the wet, sloppy sounds of you drooling all over him echoing in the quiet room. "Yeah, honey, just like that."

Your eyes widen at the new pet name but your rhythm doesn't falter — if anything, you start moving faster, the tip of his cock hitting the back of your throat in a way that's driving him insane. Soshiro can't even keep his eyes focused on the paper in front of him, mesmerized by the bob of your head and the gleam of your eyes beneath his desk. He cups your cheek with his free hand, something light fluttering in his chest when you lean into his touch, even as you proceed to suck his cock like your life depends on it.

Tension and heat coils in his gut. Holy fucking hell. You have one hand braced on his tense thigh, but your other hand goes to cup his balls, smearing your drooling saliva on them as he chokes at the feeling. It's overwhelming — you are overwhelming — and he tries not to hold your head in place while he fucks your mouth but your moans are so pretty and you look so hot with your mouth stuffed and —

The click of the door opening is the only warning he gets, but luckily years of honed reflexes saves the two of you as he rolls his seat forward, forcing you further beneath the desk and his cock further down your throat.

"Hah — shit!" Soshiro gasps as you dig your nails into his thigh. He throbs in your mouth. "Ah, fuckin' — sorry, Okonogi-chan, I just hit my knee on the table."

The Third Division's Operations Manager gives him a funny look, but thankfully she stays near the door. "I just came by to ask if your reports are done, sir!"

Your throat is convulsing around his cock and it's the worst thing he's ever felt in his life because if he cums right now, there's no way Okonogi will miss it. "N-not yet, sorry!"

"Well, let me know when you're done so I can add my files. Will you finish them before your fiancée gets here?" Okonogi glances around. "I thought she'd be here by now, actually."

"Nope, haven't seen her!" Soshiro's voice cracks. There's spilled ink staining one of the reports. You slowly pull off his cock, but the lightning rod of tension in his spine just coils harder. "I'll finish 'em soon!"

"Are you getting sick, Vice Captain? Please don't take this the wrong way, but you're sweating a lot and you're all… red," Okonogi says hesitantly.

"Aw, 'm fine, dear," Soshiro threads his fingers through your hair in warning when you make an aborted little sound. He coughs loudly. "I feel just peachy! In fact, I'm ready to zip through all these reports right now!"

You slowly sink down on his cock again, tongue tracing the vein as you go. Soshiro dares to shoot you a warning glare and nearly cums down your throat at the answering gleam in your eye. He's throbbing in your mouth and you don't even care. Fuck you're a menace.

"Well, if you say so," Okonogi sounds rightfully dubious, but she puts her hand back on the doorknob. "I'll check again later!"

The instant the door clicks shut after she leaves, Soshiro slumps into his seat, groaning low in his throat as you swallow him back down. It's dim beneath his desk, but he can clearly see tears gathering at the corners of your pretty eyes, and you moan as he carefully starts fucking your mouth. The tightly wound tension is incessant, a burn beneath his skin, a thrumming in his ears. You're gorgeous like this, choking on his cock and drooling, spit soaking the bottom of the seat as you blink those teary eyes up at him.

"Fuckin' hell, honey, you're gonna make me fuckin' cum," Soshiro groans. "Where d'ya want it? Down your throat? Are ya gonna swallow it all like a good fuckin' girl?"

You moan loudly at that and he huffs out a laugh, the tension so tight it feels like he's going to snap. It's the ring that does it — your hand disappears for a moment and when you bring it back into view, he catches the glint of the ring, glistening with your cum, because of course you're fucking soaked and of course you had to show him with his cock down your throat and —

Soshiro cums so hard he sees white.

There's nothing. There's sparks and light and heat blooming everywhere. Distantly he hears himself grunting a garbled version of your name, but his brain shuts down so hard he barely has the capacity to breathe as his orgasm crashes through him.

"Soshiro, Soshiro," you whisper, climbing onto his lap and pressing soft little kisses all over his neck and jaw and cheeks. Soshiro comes back to his senses slowly, panting hard as feeling returns to his fingers and legs. "Hey," you whisper, brushing his sweat soaked hair from his forehead. "Are you back?"

"You…" he breathes. His brain is still rebooting.

You giggle. "Me?"

Soshiro grips your waist to hold you steady as you hover over his cock. "Gimme a minute. I'm gonna make you squirt all over this fuckin' desk."

You laugh outright at that, dipping down to kiss him sweetly. He can taste himself on your tongue, but it doesn't bother him. "Okonogi-chan will kill you if we get the reports messy."

Soshiro runs his hands up your sides just to watch you shiver. He still feels hazy, floaty, breathless and loose. "You're stayin' the night?"

"Is that an order, Vice Captain?" you ask teasingly. Your voice sounds scraped raw. He hums, reaching for your dirty fingers. You watch with blown pupils as he licks them clean, his tongue swirling around your engagement ring and his canine tooth catching on your fingertip.

"Let's go back to my rooms so nobody'll hear ya screamin' my name."

He ends up making you squirt in the shower, eating you out messy and lewd as steam fogs up the room. You goad him into fucking you from behind against the door afterward, pushing your ass back with every heavy thrust until you both cum hard enough to warrant a bath. He washes your back and hair in the shower first, building up a lather of shampoo and twisting the strands this way and that as you laugh and complain about the water temperature, but the both of you are relaxed and pliant in the warm water of the bath afterwards.

You cajole him into one of the smaller mess halls afterward, your hair wet and dripping down your borrowed shirt as he sets two trays piled with food in front of you. It's late — way past midnight — and you're soft and giggly and clingy as you drape your legs over his lap and eat. Soshiro drops extra bits on your plate whenever he thinks you aren't paying attention, but of course you're always paying attention to him.

"Quit it," you grumble, "I'm too full!"

Soshiro snickers as you scoop the rest of your food onto his plate. "Whoa, is this what I'll get as a married man? Your leftovers?"

You roll your eyes. "Shut up, you spoiled asshole. When we're married you know you'll be doing all the cooking."

Maybe it's the late hour, but the way you say it — like it's a fact. Like it's a truth, and not a lie to appease the Hoshina clan and keep them from meddling in his life. Soshiro wonders when he started hoping.

"That's true," he says lightly. "You're just as bad as Captain Ashiro with kitchen knives."

"Don't let your family find out, or they'll tell you to find a new wife," you joke. Soshiro snorts, but it's quiet in the empty mess hall. You prop your chin on your hand and watch him chase around the last grains of rice with his chopsticks. "Tell me about your family? Is there anything I should be prepared for?"

"Well, ya know I've got an older brother," Soshiro says. It feels a little strange, mentioning Soichiro after all these years of (literal) radio silence. "He'll be busy captaining the Sixth, so we shouldn't be runnin' into him at the house. My dad's still an instructor, and he'll probably wanna know 'bout your combat levels. My ma…"

"Uh oh," you murmur. Soshiro sighs and takes your hand.

"My ma's always wanted grandkids." He watches as your face goes blank. "Y'know I ain't the type. I've got my hands full with my lil' fledglings already."

"Well," you squeeze his hand and offer a tiny smile, "at least this is fake. Your mom will get her grandkids eventually, even though it won't be from me."

You're quiet and distant on the short walk back to his rooms, but maybe it's just the late hour. Soshiro doesn't know how to break the strange awkwardness that's settling between the two of you — but you seem lost in thought, kissing him goodnight absently and quickly burrowing your face into his neck as if you don't want him to look too closely at your expression.

It's weird. You seem back to normal in the morning light, making his coffee and hugging him from behind while he brushes his teeth, but there's a strange distance in your gaze and your smile drops unnaturally when you think he isn't paying attention. There isn't much Soshiro can do about it, though — you go back to the First Division and your texts are… typical. You agree to take some time off to visit the Hoshina family home together and Soshiro just about wears down the floor of his office with his pacing.

"Vice Captain, are you sure you don't need a break?" Okonogi asks. "Please don't take this the wrong way, but you seem agitated."

Soshiro flops back into his seat and stares at the ink stain he left behind the last time the two of you were in his office together. The ruined report was luckily one of his own, so he just printed another copy, but unfortunately he hasn't been able to scrub the ink out of the desk. "Nothing to worry 'bout, Okonogi dear."

"Are you worried about your family visit? I'm sure it'll be fine, sir — your fiancée is perfect for you," Okonogi says. She adjusts her glasses. "But if you're concerned, you should talk to her. She'd want to know."

Soshiro doesn't think you want to know what's really going through his head — you'd probably run away. Casual. Friends with benefits. You were the one who brought it up, after years of working together whenever your Divisions teamed up, after plenty of teasing and friendly competitions and sharing meals sitting slightly apart from the rest of your officers. You always caught his eye, but of course he'd never assume you were interested, not when you had all those other options (including Captain Narumi) — so it had been a welcome surprise when you confessed that you thought he was hot. That you thought about him at night. That maybe having a friends with benefits arrangement could be good for both of you to blow off steam without any mess.

Soshiro still remembers your first time together — the first and only time you slept together in the First Division. Your rooms were smaller than his, but he hadn't had much of a chance to explore, too busy learning how to elicit those sounds from your lips that haunted his dreams for months afterwards. It was awkward at first, with bumped noses and self conscious laughter, but you had forged ahead as if it would be your only chance and it was so good.

It's always been good with you — good and easy. This weird… distance? It's unsettling. Soshiro can tell something is up, but you message him normally and there's nothing for him to hang this niggling feeling on.

He meets you at the train station a few days later and you smile at him like he's made your day. "Should I be calling you Soshiro-kun for this trip?" you ask, offering a canned coffee from the vending machine. It's early, and of course he hadn't had time to make his own morning coffee, so the can is a welcome weight in his hand.

"Yeah, but don't do it too often or I'll drag ya into a hotel on our way down," Soshiro says, trying not to stare. He pops open the can and takes a sip, eyes dragging down your form as you laugh. It's rare to see you in something other than your Defense Force uniform, his borrowed clothes, or naked — and you've shown up to the train station in a cute skirt and blouse outfit, looking fresh and adorable and not at all like you take down kaiju on a regular basis. Something about the dissonance stirs up a surge of protectiveness in Soshiro, though you'd probably offer to kick his ass if he voices this thought aloud.

"We're meeting your parents, Soshiro-kun," you scold, "keep it in your pants."

But there's a teasing glint in your eye and Soshiro snorts, reaching out to snag your wrist, pulling you close so he can kiss the laugh out of your mouth. The strange unsettled feeling is nudged to the back of his mind as you kiss him back.

The shinkansen ride is a few hours long, but you've packed bentos and seem perfectly content to gaze out the window at the flashing scenery as he reads a book. You doze off a few times, settling into his side as naturally as breathing, and Soshiro keeps as still as possible so you can be comfortable leaning against him. You later confess that the bentos were made from bits and pieces you had begged from the officers on chef duty early this morning and Soshiro teases you about making your bentos in the future.

"You can barely even function without your coffee in the morning, Hoshina-kun, how're you gonna make us bentos?" You're so pretty when you're laughing like this — lighthearted and sweet with your sparkly eyes. Soshiro knows he's staring openly now, but you don't seem to mind, leaning into his space to steal the last bite of tamagoyaki while he's distracted.

"I'm a man of many talents," Soshiro declares, just to watch you snort into your royal milk tea can. "But 'course I'll just make 'em the night before."

"That's good planning," you nod sagely. "I knew I picked a good future husband."

The automated announcements overhead remind the two of you that your stop is coming up, and Soshiro gathers up the trash and your bags in preparation to offboard. Both of you packed light, used to moving quickly through cities on long deployments, and it's nothing for him to sling both bags over his shoulder. You follow him off the shinkansen and through the station, always close enough to touch but careful to maintain a little bit of distance in case someone sees.

It's lucky you do, because as soon as the two of you step out into the balmy southern air, someone calls out his name.

Soshiro feels his shoulders stiffen and you shoot him a mildly alarmed look. "Well, well, well, if it ain't my lil bro!"

What the hell.

"And ya really brought someone! Ma's gonna be over the moon!" Soichiro says brightly. Soshiro watches with dread as his older brother approaches and promptly offers his hand for you to shake. You take it, amusement in the edges of your polite smile. "I'm Hoshina Soichiro, this guy's older brother and Captain of the Sixth Division."

You introduce yourself, shooting Soshiro a wry glance as you add, "and I know who you are, sir. My captain speaks highly of you."

"Oho! You're a member of the Defense Force? Are ya with the Third?" Soichiro asks. If you've noticed that Soichiro and Soshiro haven't actually spoken to each other yet, you don't mention it.

"No, sir. I'm with the First Division," you reply. "Thank you for coming to meet us at the station. We weren't expecting anyone."

"Aw, well, I wanted ta catch up with my lil bro," Soichiro says. Soshiro's mouth twists a little at that, but he faces his older brother and offers him a tiny smile. It makes his face hurt. "It's been a long time since you've been home."

"Things are busy in the Third and I'm further away than you are," Soshiro says. Thankfully his voice stays steady. You step a little closer to him, the back of your hand brushing the back of his, and he takes a deep, fortifying breath. "Is everythin' good at home?"

"Things are peachy," Soichiro says, waving them along as he begins to walk. "Dad's just finished up teachin' a new batch of hopefuls for the Force, and ma's been settin' me up with omiai every time I come home. Is that what you're here for, lil bro?"

"They just told me ta come by," Soshiro admits. "But I've got some news for 'em, anyway."

Soichiro glances back at the two of you walking so closely together and hums. "Yeah, I figured. When ma said you'd be bringin' a guest, I knew I had ta come see it for myself first. It ain't right that ya got such a cute girlfriend, Soshiro."

Soshiro can feel his ears burning, but you just shoot him a grin and a raised eyebrow. Well, if you're fishing for compliments… "She is a cutie pie," he says lightly. "But she's smart, too, and funny as hell. She's the best thing that's ever happened to me."

He watches you blush prettily and avoid his gaze for the rest of the ride towards the Hoshina compound. Years and years of kaiju fighting and developing the Hoshina clan techniques means the family is pretty well off — Soshiro doesn't flaunt the family's wealth, determined as he is to prove his own worth — but it can't be denied that he grew up well taken care of and pampered in spite of the intense training he put himself through growing up.

The grounds sprawl in a valley nestled between densely forested hills. The buildings are traditional and the yards are all swept clean, tastefully interspersed with rock gardens and ponds full of glimmering koi fish. The sharp clack of practice swords echo in the balmy air as a clan member leads students through exercises, though Soshiro doesn't spot anyone out of the ordinary as Soichiro leads them into the main house.

He pauses before the sliding door that leads to where his parents will be waiting. This is fake — the two of you just need to get through this weekend, and then you can go back to your divisions and pretend none of this happened. His family won't expect any updates for a long time, and by then Soshiro can figure out if you… if you'd be willing to marry him for real. Maybe, by then, he'll finally be good enough for you. So why is his heart pounding so loudly in his chest?

You stop as well, looking wide eyed at him as you shift your elegantly wrapped gift in your trembling hands. "Soshiro?"

"I promise they won't bite," he murmurs, ducking close as Soichiro reaches for the door. He doesn't know if his older brother can hear, but it doesn't really matter as long as you feel better about this meeting. "I'm the one choosin' you, remember."

You blink up at him, close enough for a kiss, your eyes searching his for something before you take a deep breath and nod. "Right. You're the only biter in the family."

He snorts before he can stop himself, feeling hot around the neck and ears as he straightens up. Jumping into the middle of a daikaiju battle would probably be easier than this — than facing his parents with news of his engagement and listening to them tell him to quit the Defense Force. His older brother lets out a quiet cough before he slides the door open. The three of you enter the lion's den.

Soshiro has nothing to worry about. Hours later finds the two of you settling into the room you'll be using during your stay, futon laid out as you sit beside it, your legs tucked to the side with your skirt splayed out. The sliding door leading to the walkway is open, exposing the two of you to a small side yard featuring a koi fish pond, but otherwise the guest room is out of the way of the main buildings. Soshiro won't be staying in the same room as you, even if his parents did approve of the engagement, but there's still some time before lights out and he wants to be with you. You let out a deep sigh and reach for his hand.

"That went well?" you ask carefully. Soshiro squeezes your hand. Watching you interact with his parents, who he loves in spite of the sense of duty that permeates everything they do, and with his older brother, who he knows is so much better than him at everything — seeing you cheerfully and earnestly bringing up Soshiro's own good qualities whenever you could did a lot to ease an unknown soreness in his heart.

"You were amazin'," he says honestly. You blush.

"I just wanted them to know how amazing you are," you say. "You're the coolest Vice Captain in the Defense Force, you know?"

"Just a cool Vice Captain?" Soshiro asks, glancing over at you. He smiles a little to himself as you roll your eyes.

"Did you also want me to tell them you're an incredible lover?"

Soshiro laughs out loud at that, releasing your hand so that he can pull you into his lap. You settle there easily, grinning, looping your arms around his neck as he leans up to kiss you. "We can keep that to ourselves," he says. His heart feels light. "I didn't realize you were payin' that much attention to me. Stroke a guy's ego like that and he might propose for real."

A wall comes up in the depths of your eyes and he falters as he leans in to kiss you, but you close the distance before he can ask what's wrong. You taste sweet, like the daifuku mochi you shared with his ma earlier, and you kiss him like you never want to stop. Soshiro groans into your mouth as you lick into his, your tongue sliding slick against his teeth. You don't pull away as you kiss, merely tugging his lip between your teeth, sucking lightly and tilting your head for better access. You kiss him hungrily, messily, the kind of desperate kissing you usually resort to after weeks without seeing each other, and all of it sends heat lancing through his body and straight to his cock.

You're so fucking soft in his arms — delicate and strong and warm, barely resisting as he crushes you to his chest, wrinkling your blouse and slipping a hand below the waistband of your skirt. Soshiro can feel the rabbit-fast beat of your heart against his, hears the soft gasp you let out when he nicks your lip. A breeze floats in from the wide open door, ruffling his hair, and he suddenly remembers where you are.

"Soshiro…" you breathe, chasing his lips as he pulls back with all the self control he can muster. "Soshiro, c'mere."

Fuck, the way you sound —

"Quit teasin' me," Soshiro grumbles, hands heavy on your hips. He leans back and glares halfheartedly at you, though it's nearly impossible when your lips are spit slick and kiss swollen and your eyes are hazy with want. "Someone could walk by at any moment."

You blink. "Not my fault you're irresistible." You rock your hips slightly in his lap and smirk when he groans at the friction against his cock. "Are you going to jerk off in your childhood bedroom?"

"You'd like that," Soshiro notes breathlessly. "Are ya gonna touch yourself tonight? Here, on our guest futon? Are ya gonna think of me?"

"I always think of you," you confess easily. Soshiro's heart thunks painfully in his chest. You tilt your head and kiss the tip of his nose. "It'll be weird sleeping in this guest room tonight when you're so close by."

"I'll cuddle ya lots when we get back to the base," Soshiro promises. "Whatever ya want."

"Okay, I'll hold you to it," you say, kissing him sweetly. "I guess you should get out of here before we really give something for your family to talk about."

Soshiro laughs quietly and skims his lips along the smooth column of your neck. "You'll hafta let go of me if ya want me to leave."

You slide off his lap with a pout, waving him off with a small smile that drops as soon as he rounds the corner. Soshiro keeps walking, however, because whatever's going on with you is probably something that can wait until you get back to the base. He doesn't want to air out any issues where his family can hear.

After a long day of train travel and the excruciating anxiety of presenting you and your engagement to his family, Soshiro wants nothing more than to sleep. But as he approaches his room, he groans to himself. The light is on, and the shadowy figure waiting for him inside is unfortunately familiar.

"It's late," Soshiro says, sliding open the door and facing his older brother. "Can't this wait 'til tomorrow?"

"Aw, but I've gotta go back to my base tomorrow," Soichiro says. He holds out a bokken and tilts his head towards the yard outside, which is swept clear of rocks and leaves. "Wanna go a round? Or are ya still my lil Wimpshiro?"

The old nickname makes Soshiro frown. He takes the bokken and nods toward the yard. "After you, Bonehead bro."

They don't have any protective gear, but neither of them are really looking to hurt the other. Soshiro feels his muscles tense with familiarity and falls into the rhythm of his childhood — the clack and clatter of blades meeting and pushing apart, the shuffle of feet on hard packed dirt and the low swoosh as the wooden practice sword narrowly misses his hair. He can tell his older brother is holding back, but it doesn't feel disrespectful. Or like he's underestimating him. Unlike in childhood, when Soshiro knew bone deep that he could reach his brother with just a little bit more, now it feels like a mutual agreement not to wear themselves out.

"You surpassed me a long time ago, Soshiro."

The words make him jerk back in surprise. "Don't make fun of me," he snaps. "You aren't even goin' all out."

Soichiro sticks his tongue out and flicks his long braid over his shoulder. "You ain't either, lil Soshiro. I know you hate my friggin' guts, but I'm proud to be your older bro, y'know?"

Soshiro frowns. Keeps himself in a 'ready' stance. "Where's this comin' from?"

"I was listenin' to your fiancée gushin' 'bout your good qualities," Soichiro says, leaping forward with a strike that Soshiro catches with his own blade. "And I was thinkin' it's a damn shame she knows ya better than I do."

Soshiro knocks the next strike aside and falls into a flurry of practiced blows, meeting Soichiro's wooden blade at every twist and turn. "She's my fiancée."

"And she's a good one," Soichiro nods. "Makes sense that she's picked you outta everyone."

But it's fake — it's not a real engagement — you haven't picked him, not for real —

"If ya stay here any longer she might change her mind. Good thing you're goin' back to the Sixth."

It comes out before he has a chance to swallow it down, and Soichiro's next strike misses him by miles. "What're ya talkin' about, ya dope? She'd never pick me."

Soshiro sighs and rubs at the bridge of his nose. Being around his older brother and facing all these memories again is throwing him off. He walked past one of the training buildings earlier and his father's voice had leapt into his mind unbidden — Soichiro is the Hoshina family's ultimate incarnation — and while he knows it's always been out of love and worry for his safety, he can't stop the bitterness from stinging in his throat whenever he remembers his family telling him to give up on his dreams of joining the Defense Force.

And it seems it's all combining into one awful swirl of insecurity that isn't even fair to you. Soshiro knows you better than to think you'd suddenly choose his older brother over him. Even if Soshiro is used to being a reject… he's never been rejected by you.

"Anyway, I'm lookin' forward to the wedding," Soichiro says, oblivious to Soshiro's inner turmoil. "Ten bucks says you'll cry during the sake sharing ceremony."

"Shaddup, ya bonehead," Soshiro laughs in spite of himself, startled out of his thoughts. "I ain't gonna cry."

"You look at her like she's the whole world," Soichiro says. He slides into a neutral position, his wooden blade pointing downwards. "When she births your first child, you're gonna sob like a baby."

The words are cold water thrown over his shoulders. "We ain't havin' kids."

"Oh?" Soichiro flicks his braid back over his shoulder again. "That's fine. I'll let ma know she can rest easy just dealin' with mine."

"Ma… won't mind?" Soshiro asks.

"Ma just wants ya to visit more often," his older brother says, "and she likes your fiancée. Said she's cute as a button and clearly adores you, which is all ma wants for us boys."

"You're gonna let her keep pullin' ya into omiai?" Soshiro asks, dropping out of his fighting stance as well.

"Not everyone's lucky enough to find a love like yours, lil bro," Soichiro shrugs. "Let your older brother show some dignity for the clan, alright?"

Soichiro finally leaves and Soshiro sits on the deck, bokken resting across his lap. The traditional buildings creak as they settle, a familiar sound as he looks out into the deepening twilight.

One more day. One more day in his family home, and then he'll be back on a train to Tokyo with you by his side. Tomorrow the plan is to give you the tour you wanted, and then catch the shinkansen after lunch. Maybe Soshiro can borrow you for the rest of the evening, too — you can always catch the next morning train to Ariake.

"Soshiro."

"Yeah, honey?"

You bite your lip before you reply, which is Soshiro's first sign that something is up. You acted normally during the morning tour of his family home, walking close enough to brush shoulders with him and smiling without a care in the world, and you snuck in a few kisses on the train ride back to Tokyo. But now you're fiddling with the sleeve of your pretty dress and barely looking him in the eye. The train station is emptying out around you.

"I think we shouldn't see each other for a while."

Soshiro's heart clenches in his chest. This is it, then. You've finally gotten tired of him — you've figured out that you could do better, find someone better —

"I love you, but I can't… I can't give you kids. I know that's what your family expects, and it isn't right to get their hopes up like this. I like them, Soshiro. They love you so much."

Soshiro's brain feels fuzzy.

"Wait. What did you just say?"

You frown up at him. Your eyes are sparkling with unshed tears and he reaches up to thumb at your cheek, brushing along the soft skin there as he stares down at you.

"My ma doesn't care if I have kids," Soshiro says quietly. His heart is beating so loudly he can barely hear his own voice. "They just want me to visit more."

Your cheek warms under his touch. "So I've been worrying about that this whole time for nothing?"

"I only found out last night, talkin' to my big bro," Soshiro says. "Do ya really love me?"

"You're an idiot," you breathe. You reach up to grab his hand and turn to walk down the platform, tugging him along. "You're coming with me. We're going to my place this time."

Soshiro lets you drag him onto the train to Ariake, lets you hold his hand the entire time, his rough palms scraping against yours as you squeeze his fingers. The two of you make it onto Ariake base unscathed and unnoticed. You lock your room door behind you.

"Look at this," you demand, booting up your computer and pulling up a word document that fills the whole screen. Soshiro leans over the desk to read it, eyes widening with every word.

"This is…"

"My request for a transfer," you nod, stepping back and crossing your arms over your chest. "I wrote it a long time ago — before your proposal, actually. I've been in love with you for ages, Soshiro. I just didn't know if you…"

"I love you."

You blink. Your nose wrinkles as you pout. It's the cutest thing he's ever seen. "I had hopes, when you proposed, even though I knew it was fake, but you just… kept making me feel all mixed up."

"I thought I was lucky ya kept choosin' me, but my luck was gonna run out someday," Soshiro says, his voice cracking on the words. "You could choose anyone."

You roll your eyes and the tension pops like a bubble. "Why would I choose anyone else when I love you, Soshiro?"

Soshiro laughs, feeling suddenly weightless and warm and fond. He reaches for you, smiling wide when you step into his embrace easily. Your arms wrap around his waist and he relaxes into your hold, nudging your temple with his nose. "Will ya marry me for real, then?"

"Of course I will, you dummy," you bury your face into his chest. Your voice comes out muffled. "But you owe me a million cuddles first."

"Wow, inflation's really hittin' hard," Soshiro murmurs, laughing when you roll your eyes and kiss him. It starts off as a sweet kiss until you fist the back of his shirt and a bolt of heat sweeps through him. "Can I start payin' up now?"

"Yeah," you breathe, tugging him over to your bed and pulling you both down onto it. Soshiro huffs as he lands on top of you, the sweet scent of you puffing up from your blankets and pillows. "Kiss me, Soshiro."

The way you gasp his name does nothing to ease the lust clouding his veins, but Soshiro has enough presence of mind to obey, kissing you deeply as he pins you to your bed. He keeps one arm by your shoulder to prop himself up, but his other hand is free to roam your body, squeezing your tits and digging into the curve of your waist, dragging the silky fabric of your dress up to your hips. You're tugging at his clothes desperately, popping open buttons and untucking his shirt, but you keep kissing him all the while, as if you can't bear to part with his lips even for a moment.

"You're so gorgeous like this," Soshiro mutters, groaning when you palm his cock over his unbuckled pants. He throbs concerningly in your grip and he huffs a laugh into your neck. "I'm — I'm fuckin' sensitive, honey, hold on —"

"Get inside me quick, then," you murmur, shimmying out of your panties and dragging your dress off. Your bra goes flying off as well, leaving you naked beneath him like the finest feast in the world.

Soshiro pulls off his own clothes but doesn't enter you right away, determined to worship you the way you deserve when you're laid out like this for him. You gasp as he sucks and nips at your neck, arching into his touch as one large hand grips your breast. You squirm when he trails down to flick his tongue against your neglected nipple, kneading the flesh with his hand and switching sides just to suck hard at the other bud. "S-Soshiro you jerk—"

He laughs fondly as he kisses down your tummy, biting affectionately at your hip bone just to feel you twitch. His hands smooth over your thighs before he spreads them apart, scooting down the bed to settle between your legs. "You're so wet already," he says reverently, "is this all for me?"

"Please, Soshiro — ah!"

Soshiro slides two fingers into your wet, slippery heat without preamble, groaning as your walls clamp down on him. He sucks at the inner meat of your thigh as you rock your hips, scissoring his fingers to stretch you out and pressing into the spongy bit of your walls that makes you gush even more down his wrist. He laves attention to your other thigh as well, littering love bites all along your sensitive skin but avoiding where you want him most.

"Are ya close?" he asks, watching intently as you fuck yourself on his fingers. He adds another just to hear you whine, the sound going straight to his cock as his balls tighten. You look so pretty like this, desperate and hot, squirming on the bed as you chase your pleasure with his help.

You catch his gaze and he groans, scrambling up to kiss you hungrily. You moan into his mouth, tongue swiping along his own as your hands leave the bedsheets to dig into his shoulders. "Soshiro, please —"

"My gorgeous, perfect fuckin' girl," Soshiro grunts, removing his fingers from your tight hot cunt and replacing them with the head of his cock. He's leaking at the tip, throbbing and heavy, and you whine as he catches at your clit. "I'm gonna marry ya," he promises, moving his hips carefully as he enters you slowly.

"I love you," you whisper, blinking starry eyes at him as he bottoms out with a moan. Unfair tactics — you've got his heart rate flying off the charts, his entire body warm and tense with adoration and desire as he slowly pulls out just to bully his way back inside you.

"I love you, too," Soshiro says, fucking into you carefully so that he's nudging that spot inside you that makes you clench harder around him. "I'm gonna — gonna make ya happy. And proud and — I'm gonna keep ya safe."

"Soshiro, you're gonna make me cum," you gasp, giggling a little deliriously as your nails dig into his back. You wrap your legs around his hips to pull him closer, and something about that makes his body run white hot. "F-fuck, Soshiro — I'm — !"

He cums first, his cock kicking and throbbing inside you as you fall headfirst into your orgasm, bodies shuddering and releasing in unison. Soshiro buries his face in your neck, biting down as he groans, relief crashing through his body as he floods your insides with white.

"I fuckin' love you," Soshiro says, peppering your face with kisses as you pant breathlessly. You giggle and run your fingers through his hair, the sweaty purple strands sticking up as you mess with it.

"You're an idiot if you think I'll ever stop loving you," you say softly. Soshiro meets your fond gaze and smiles.

"First ya call me an idiot, then a dummy and a jerk," he says, "if I didn't know any better, I'd say ya need some new nicknames for your fiancé."

"Hmm, I'll think about it," you laugh.

The two of you stay holed up in your room for the rest of the day, eating the snacks you have stashed around and talking and dreaming and making plans for the future. Soshiro's heart does a traitorous little flutter when you ask him to make love to you a few more times — because it is love, and it's still dirty and hot and you make him cum so hard he goes boneless, but there's love there, as always.

Soshiro wakes up the next morning with a handful of something soft.

"Soshiro… I'll kick you off this bed."

He snickers into the nape of your neck and removes his hand from your breast after giving it a gentle squeeze. You turn to face him, shoving your bare legs against his, and reach to grab his hand. The morning light is seeping in through your blinds slowly, but it still catches on the pretty purple gem and the shiny silver of your engagement ring as you hold your entwined hands up.

"G'mornin', fiancée," Soshiro murmurs. You drop his hand in favor of running your fingers through his hair.

"Good morning, my love."

[ajortga]

home

pairing: jenna ortega x fem reader

summary: nothing feels more than home to jenna than you.

word count: 800+ (drabble)

a/n: wanted to get this out there as a thank you, we reached 400 followers! words actually cannot describe how grateful i am that people appreciate the stories i write. i really hope they can make your day<3.

hey alexa, play home by edith whiskers.

You yearn to feel the sense of hope and comfort.

Home.

Not the home that shields Jenna as she sleeps, a roof over her head.

But at the same time, it is that.

Not the home that she wakes up in everyday when she wakes up for breakfast, the aroma of her mom’s cooking fills the air,

The TV turned on, her older and younger siblings playing in the living room. 

Not the home that holds her, her yorkie terrier and her family.

Or the home that shakes as Aliyah and her jump on the bed with Cash.

No, not that.

Home.

As much as she loved her family, nothing could compare to you, no one.

Jenna could remember her words as she strummed her guitar, a gentle hum filling her room.

“Alabama Arkansas, I do love my ma and pa, not the way that I do love you.’

The only home she’ll be the first to run to when she has news.

“We laugh until we think we'll die, barefoot on a summer night”

As Jenna strums to her whistling, she remembers running across the sandy coast with the palette of the sunset around you. Shades of orange, yellow, pink, and baby blue hues. Holding hands with you as you two laugh and run with each other barefoot during the summer. The sweetest memory she’s ever experienced. A moment that she never felt could be better. If she could go back to one memory before she died, she’d choose that one. With you, cupping your cheeks as you two kiss as dawn was welcomed, during her favorite season of the year.

Giggling as you both collapse on the sunlit meadow on a warm summer night, bodies wrapped around each other.

“Nothing is sweeter than with you.”

Oh you were everything to her, her best friend, girlfriend, soulmate, universe.

-

When Jenna’s boyfriend broke up with her, she sobbed on her pillow, she never told you when you came over that she pretended that it was you.

She didn’t know why it might’ve helped, it’s warmth reminding her of you, it made her hug it tighter.

“La-la-la-la-la take me home”

That day Jenna’s heart was shattered, you were the one to bring it back together, her sobbing in your warm arms as you comforted her, your hands scratching her scalp in the perfect way.

You told her she could stay over, she sobbed in your arms, fell asleep as soon as her body reached your arms, melting in your presence.

The next day you made her her favorite heart shaped nutella pancakes that she always asked for when she sleeps over at your house, she knew that whenever you made her it, it was always sweeter when you made it. 

She closes her eyes and remembers it, all too vividly. A smile comes across Jenna's face as she changes the chords, her fingers strumming again.

"Girl I never loved one like you."

Even if someone were to take every single step of your recipe and memorize the grains of salt and sugar you used, it was never the same, she knows your baking by heart. 

Drives in your jeep as you two interlock hands. Travels all over the world, shares of gelato ice cream and sweet moments. 

Deep gazes into eyes as a blanket wraps around the both of you. A soft kiss planted on your forehead as you fall asleep on her chest with the campfire crackling in front of you. 

She remembered when she first realized she loved you.

To have you first in her mind when she wanted to spend time with someone. Craving your cookies, your time spent together, those soft lips she always looked at as you talked.

To have someone listen to her strumming the guitar, to have them admire her voice and closed off side. Her little Y/N on her shoulder. To be so in love that she wrote this song for you.

You loved her.

Her freckles you counted as you’re curled up by her side, her soft hands. Her.

Your first encounter, meeting her on set and immediately feeling you two click.

Your first date together, when she accidentally spilled a coffee on your white shirt and you busted out laughing.

Your first kiss.

When she asked you to be your girlfriend, officially. You wanted to be with her forever. 

Jenna was the first person in your life to calm your storm down. You were the person who struggled falling asleep, it didn’t happen easily, but in her arms, it did. You were always gone as soon as she pressed your nose into her neck.

You were each others homes, you wanted to stay with her, to always be assured by her.

As the song comes to a close, she looks up at the polaroid picture of you two. The orange hue from the salt lamp the only source of light. Polaroids hung of you and her all across her string of fairy lights. Her walls were filled with her girlfriend. And as her fingers pluck the strings, Jenna smiles faintly. The song nears the end as she sings the last of the lyrics.

"Oh, home, let me come home Home is wherever I'm with you"

-

i love this song sm it's crazy.

[whereslynx]

Smut one with spooky and reader are at a party, reader wants to go home but spooky doesnt, then he realises shes not wearing anything under her dress 🙂‍↔️

a/n: PERIODDDD🤭 i actually love this idea tytytttytyytyyyyy anon ilysm🔥 writing this made me think maybe i do like writing smut😭😭 AS LONG AS THERES A GOOD PLOT

────── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ──────

⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯

The music thumped through the house, each beat pulsing under your skin as the crowd around you buzzed with energy. The party had been going strong for hours, but you’d hit your limit a while ago. You watched as Spooky stood in the middle of the room, cool and composed, surrounded by the Santos, cracking jokes like the king he was. His confidence was effortless, and part of you loved watching him in his element. But right now, all you wanted was to leave.

You pushed through the crowd, the heavy bass of the music thumping in your chest as bodies swayed around you, the heat of the room almost suffocating. The smell of alcohol and sweat hung thick in the air, but your focus stayed on him, cutting through the haze. You finally reached him, your fingers brushing against the fabric of his jacket before you tugged on his sleeve, pulling his attention away from the conversation.

“Oscar,” you said, leaning in closer, your voice barely audible over the noise of the party. He had to bend down slightly, his ear just inches from your lips, catching the urgency in your tone. “I’m ready to go.”

He turned, amusement flashing in his eyes as a smirk slowly curled at the edge of his mouth. His gaze roamed over you, like he already knew what was on your mind but was enjoying the game. “Already?” he teased, his voice low, matching the steady pulse of the music. “The party’s barely started.” His eyes lingered on yours, watching every shift of your expression, like he was unraveling the secret before you even said it.

You shifted, your patience wearing thin as you stood under the dim lights, the thrum of the music starting to feel like an irritant. “I’m over it. Can we go?” you asked, trying to keep your tone calm, though a hint of frustration slipped through.

He didn’t answer right away, didn’t even seem to hear you at first. His gaze had shifted, slowly drifting down the length of your body with a deliberate intensity that sent a shiver across your skin. You’d noticed him admiring you earlier, but this—this was different. His eyes darkened, narrowing slightly as if piecing something together, and then you saw it—the exact moment when realization dawned.

The corner of his mouth tugged upward into a slow, knowing grin. His body leaned in closer, his breath warm against your ear as he spoke in a voice that was smooth, low, and dripping with something dangerous. “You’re not wearin’ anything under that, are you?”

His words were a spark, sending a jolt through you, your pulse racing as you felt the weight of his discovery settle between you both.

Your heart skipped a beat, but you kept your composure, refusing to let him see how his words affected you. Lifting an eyebrow, you met his gaze with a steady look. “Maybe I’m not,” you replied, your voice teasing, daring him to push further, testing his reaction.

His eyes never left yours, dark and intent, but his hand moved, sliding to your waist with a slow, deliberate confidence. His thumb brushed against the fabric of your dress, the pressure light but purposeful, sending a subtle thrill through your body. “You playin’ dangerous games out here, mami,” he murmured, his voice low and rough, meant only for you. His words wrapped around you, intimate and charged, the noise of the party fading into the background as his focus stayed entirely on you.

You tried to maintain your calm, but the heat building between you both was undeniable, making it harder to keep up the act. “And you’re making it real hard for me to stay at this party,” you teased back, your lips so close to his ear that your breath brushed against his skin.

He chuckled, deep and rough, like he was holding back something even darker. “You tryna get me in trouble, huh?” His voice dropped to a low rumble, fingers gripping your waist more firmly, his touch sending sparks down your spine. “You really thought you’d leave like that and I wouldn’t notice?”

His intensity made your breath hitch for a second, but you kept it cool, giving him a little shrug, eyes still locked with his. “Well, now you know,” you said, your voice soft but full of challenge, daring him to act on what he knew now.

For a moment, all you could hear was the pounding of your heartbeat, the space between you both buzzing with tension. His gaze lingered, heavy with intent, as his fingers flexed against your back. He finally broke the silence, his voice a little rougher, the heat of his breath brushing your ear. “So, what is it? You wanna leave, or you want me to take me to take you home and fuck you slow?”

You raised an eyebrow, lips curving into a teasing smile as you leaned closer, your body grazing his. “Why not both?”

His eyes darkened further, and he let out a low, slow breath, clearly battling the urge to give in right there. His grip tightened on your waist as he scanned the room, a silent war between staying with his crew or pulling you away to someplace more private. The hardness pressing against his jeans was impossible to ignore, his control slipping with every passing second.

Finally, with a clenched jaw, he made his choice. His hand slipped down to the small of your back, pulling you a little closer. “Aight,” he murmured, his voice low and gravelly. “Let’s bounce.”

Oscar’s hand gripped your waist tightly as he guided you toward the car, the crisp night air doing little to cool the fire building between you. The parking lot was dimly lit, the distant hum of the party fading into the background as his eyes never left yours.

With a flick of his wrist, the car unlocked, and he pulled the door open, his gaze smoldering as he nodded toward the seat. “Get in,” he murmured, his voice thick with anticipation. You slid inside, heart racing, feeling the weight of his presence as he moved around to the driver’s side, his movements deliberate and smooth. The door clicked shut, the two of you alone, the tension thick in the confined space.

As you settled into the car, his scent was undeniable—thick with the bite of alcohol, the sharpness of cologne, and the distinct musk of weed lingering in the air. It hit you all at once, raw and intoxicating, making your senses tingle in a way that felt almost overwhelming. Every breath filled your lungs with that potent mix, and despite yourself, you found it hard to resist. The smell clung to him, wrapping around you both like a promise of everything that was about to unfold.

The only sound in the enclosed space was the faint hum of the engine and your quickening breath. Oscar’s hand rested casually on the steering wheel, but his eyes—intense, hungry—were fixed on you. The silence between you was thick, heavy with unspoken words and unfulfilled tension. He shifted closer, the leather seat creaking as he leaned toward you, his breath warm against your neck as his hand made its way onto her thigh. “You know what you’re doing, right?” His voice was low, sending a shiver down your spine, “Come on, ma,” he let out a raspy chuckle, his low eyes never leaving yours. “I wanna hear you say it. Tell me what that pretty little head of yours was thinking.”

You shifted slightly in your seat, a quiet whine escaping your lips as the sensitivity of his every touch heightened. Every breath that brushed against your skin sent a ripple through you, and his voice, low and deliberate in your ear, made it even harder to focus. The tension between you both crackled, the air thick with anticipation, each word he spoke only pulling you deeper into the moment. It was as if every sensation was amplified, leaving you craving more. “Oscar,” you pouted, your hand resting over his as you urged it to go further up your thigh, “I can’t—“ you choked out, getting restless under the neglect of the pool that was beginning to flood in between your thighs.

Oscar's hand glided slowly from the steering wheel, his fingers sliding over your thighs, sending warmth radiating through you as your dress inched higher, revealing just how aroused you were for him. "Haven't even put it in yet, and you're already soaked," he rasped with a low chuckle, his eyes gleaming as he took in your flustered expression. "Eso, mi amor." His praise wrapped around you like a gentle reassurance, igniting a fire within you.

"You really gon' make me wait?" he teased, that familiar smirk tugging at his lips, his voice low and taunting. His gaze locked onto yours, dark and intense, as he leaned in just close enough to feel your breath. But instead of making the next move, he paused, holding back, his hand hovering just above your skin. "Let me hear you, ma," he murmured, the demand in his tone unmistakable, refusing to give in until you gave him exactly what he wanted.

You let out a soft whine in your seat, instinctively spreading your legs wider, hoping to tempt him just this once. But he remained unmoved. You had never been good at expressing your desires, but tonight was different. Tonight, you were determined to change that. Taking his hand, you guided it right to your slit, your eyes locking onto his with an urgent plea to relieve the overwhelming desire building within you. "I needed you," you breathed, your voice thick with longing. "I need you." The desperation in your tone was palpable, a silent plea for the release only he could provide.

Oscar clenched his jaw as he felt the slickness coating his fingers, the sensation igniting a primal hunger within him. The temptation to skip the teasing and give you the reward you so clearly deserved tugged at him, but he fought against it, savoring the moment. His expression remained unreadable as he nodded slowly, his eyes locking onto yours. “So, you showed up to the party like this, huh?” he asked, a playful yet serious undertone in his voice.

You shifted in your seat, feeling the heat rise in your cheeks under the weight of his gaze. The pressure of his question made you shy away from him, your heart racing with a mix of embarrassment and excitement. After a moment of hesitation, you nodded.

A smirk tugged at the corners of his mouth, a blend of pride and raw desire washing over his expression. “That’s my girl,” he praised, his voice low and sultry as he finally rubbed your slit, eliciting a sharp inhale from you. The unexpected sensation made you grip his arm tightly, surprise coursing through you.

“Look at you,” he murmured, his fingers skillfully exploring your wet clit, sending electric jolts of pleasure throughout your body. “You used your words. So proud of you.” His breath came in warm bursts against your skin, each touch igniting a deeper craving within you, making you crave even more of him.

His fingers moved deliberately, sending sparks with every small movement. You shifted slightly in the seat, leaving you in a moaning mess with your heart pounding in anticipation. He didn't rush, instead savoring the moment, leaning in so close that his breath ghosted across your skin. You could feel the heat rising between you, every inch closer pulling you deeper into the moment.

He entered one finger, and then two, thrusting them in and out of you with a deliberate rhythm that sent waves of pleasure coursing through your body. You arched your back instinctively, your moans escaping your lips like music to his ears, growing louder and more desperate with each movement. Just as you felt the familiar tightening in your core, all motion suddenly halted, leaving you to shoot him a sharp look filled with desperation and frustration.

He chuckled softly, pulling his fingers out slowly and giving your clit a teasing slap that made you gasp. "Don't give me that look," he teased, his voice dripping with amusement. "If you're gonna cum, it's gonna be around my cock."

With that, Oscar leaned over, his breath hot against your skin as he lifted you by your waist, placing you squarely on his lap. The hard bulge pressing against your bare slit made your breath hitch, and you swore you were going to cum right then and there. The heat radiating between you was palpable, and you could feel the urgency building, a perfect storm of desire as you instinctively rocked against him, craving that next release.

Your dress had ridden up, the fabric bunched around your waist, leaving your bare skin exposed below. Oscar's eyes darkened with desire as he unzipped his jeans, pulling down his boxers. His hard cock sprang up, slapping against your stomach, and he let out a low groan at the sight of you like this.

Pushing his cock against your skin, you could feel its length and thickness pressing into you, almost overwhelming in its size.

He looked up at you, a mixture of excitement and challenge in his gaze. "It's been a while," he mumbled, his eyes flickering to the space where his cock would soon be inside you. "It'll be this deep. You sure you can take it, lil' ma?" His voice dripped with teasing confidence, hinting at the considerable length that would stretch you.

You bit your lip, a spark of mischief igniting within you as you wrapped your fingers around his hardened cock, feeling it twitch under your touch while he tensed in response. "Till I can't walk," you replied, a daring smile spreading across your face. His expression shifted, the teasing glint replaced by a childlike grin at your boldness, and your heart softened at the sight of his unabashed pleasure.

He nodded, his eyes filled with trust and desire, fully placing his faith in you as he lifted you up once more. Positioning you above his throbbing cock, its heightened stance seemed to beckon you, practically begging for your walls to envelop it. "Show me," he urged, his voice a low growl filled with anticipation. "Show me your pretty little pussy can take it."

With a mix of eagerness and determination, you lowered yourself onto his tip, feeling the heat radiate from him as you began to sink down. Longing groans and moans escaped both of you, a symphony of pleasure that filled the air as you took charge, riding the exhilarating high of his words. The sensation of him stretching you, filling you completely, sent a thrill coursing through your body, igniting every nerve as you adjusted to his size.

Each movement was slow and deliberate, allowing you to savor the exquisite feeling of him inside you. You could see the way his eyes darkened with desire, reflecting the raw hunger that matched your own. The intimacy of the moment enveloped you both, and with every inch you took, you felt more connected, more alive.

You cursed under your breath, feeling your walls tighten around him as you moved up and down, guiding both of you in pursuit of that high that felt like it would never come down.

"Fuuuuck-" Oscar groaned, his fingers digging into your waist, pulling you down onto his cock with a force that took your breath away. Ine slow pace you had initially set quickly morphed into something frantic, matching the speed at which your climaxes seemed to race toward you.

"Oscar—faster—" you whimpered, your voice laced with desperation and desire as he took control. He thrust upwards, guiding you with an aggressive speed that had you gasping for air, each powerful stroke driving him deeper inside you. You could feel the tension building, your body responding eagerly to his every movement.

"God, you feel so good," he panted, his eyes locked on yours, filled with a mix of awe and lust.

His grip on your waist tightened, fingers pressing into your soft skin, leaving behind faint marks of his desire. "You're taking me so well, mi amor."

You could barely respond, the pleasure overwhelming you as the sound of wet flesh slapping against each other tilled the air, accompanied br vour loud moans and Oscar's curses. "That's it," he encouraged, his voice a husky wnisper, "let me hear you."

The raw intensity of the moment enveloped you, your bodies moving in perfect narmony, each thrust pushing you closer to the edge. Your breaths came in quick gasps, and with every downward motion, you felt yourself getting closer, your body on fire with need.

"Just a little more," he urged, his voice strained with effort as he held you tightly against him, each thrust becoming more desperate, more primal. "I want to feel you cum around me."

His words sent a jolt of electricity through you, igniting a fire deep within. You nodded, your eyes wide with urgency and need.

"Please... I need it, Oscar." The plea slipped from your lips, raw and filled with desperation, driving him wild. He responded with renewed vigor, pounding into you with relentless fervor, the car shaking with the intensity of your movements.

The confined space of the vehicle added an exhilarating edge to the moment. You could hear the faint sounds of laughter and music drifting from the party nearby, the knowledge that someone could stumble upon you at any moment sending a thrill of adrenaline coursing through your veins. Each time he thrust deeper, the thought of being caught only heightened your desire, making you crave him more.

"Fuck, we could get caught," he rasped, glancing toward the tinted windows, as if checking for prying eyes. But even the danger only heightened the pleasure; the thrill of it made you want him more. You wrapped your legs tightly around his waist, pulling him closer, urging him to go faster.

"Who cares?" you gasped, your voice breathy and filled with longing. "I want you, Oscar. Now."

With a feral growl, he complied, his pace quickening as he plunged deeper, each thrust sending waves of ecstasy radiating through you. The friction between your bodies intensified, your soft cries mingling with the sounds of the car's interior, the rhythm of your bodies harmonizing with the faint thump of music outside.

As the heat within you built to an unbearable level, you felt the tension coiling tighter, ready to snap. "I'm so close!" you cried, your breath hitching as you gripped him tighter, the urgency in your tone matching the frantic rhythm of your bodies. "Don't stop!"

His eyes locked onto yours, filled with an intensity that made your heart race. "Come for me, ma. I wanna feel you let go."

With a final, deep thrust, the dam broke. Waves of pleasure crashed over you, overwhelming your senses as you cried out his name, your body quaking around him as you surrendered to the bliss. The world outside faded into oblivion, leaving only the two of you and the raw, intoxicating connection that bound you together in that moment.

Oscar groaned, his own release following closely as he filled you, his body shuddering with the force of it. The combination of pleasure and danger sent a heady rush through you both, and in that car, you were lost to everything except each other.

As the intensity of your climax faded, you both sat in the silence of the car, breaths mingling in the stillness, hearts pounding in a shared rhythm. The warm glow of post-pleasure enveloped you like a soft blanket, but the reality of your surroundings began to seep back in. The muffled sounds of the party drifted through the air, punctuated by laughter and distant music, reminding you of the world outside the confines of the car.

Oscar pulled you close, his fingers tracing gentle patterns along your back, his touch both soothing and possessive. "Damn, that was... something else," he murmured, his voice low and husky, still filled with the remnants of desire. He leaned back against the headrest, a satisfied smirk playing on his lips as he glanced at you.

You chuckled softly, still trying to catch your breath, feeling a mix of exhilaration and nervousness.

"Yeah, you could say that." The blush creeping up your cheeks was undeniable, and you tucked a strand of hair behind your ear, suddenly aware of how exposed you felt, both physically and emotionally.

As reality settled back in, the weight of what had just happened loomed over you. You exchanged glances, both of you grappling with the implications of the encounter. The thrill of the moment was intoxicating, but a twinge of uncertainty crept in.

"What if someone saw us?" you asked, a hint of worry threading through your voice.

Oscar shrugged, the smirk still lingering on his face. "Let them look. We're not doing anything wrong." But his tone suggested he was aware of the risks, too. "Besides, it was worth it, wasn't it?"

You nodded, biting your lip as you considered his words. "Definitely worth it." The memory of the heat and passion still coursed through you, a vivid reminder of the connection you shared. But deep down, you also knew that this changed things between you.

As you adjusted your dress, tugging it back down to cover your thighs, Oscar's expression shifted, the playful teasing giving way to something more serious. "You good?" he asked, his eyes searching yours. There was a softness in his gaze, an unspoken question hanging between you.

"Yeah," you replied, forcing a smile to mask the whirlwind of emotions. "Just.. processing, I guess." You took a deep breath, trying to steady yourself. "This was.. a lot."

He nodded, understanding written all over his face. "I get it. I didn't mean to push you into something you weren't ready for." There was an earnestness in his voice, and you could tell he genuinely cared about how you felt.

"It's not that," you said, meeting his gaze. "I wanted it, Oscar. I just didn't expect.." You trailed off, struggling to find the right words.

He chuckled softly, a warm sound that eased some of the tension. “To get caught up in the moment?

It's what we do, right? Besides," he added, a hint of mischief returning to his eyes, "you're the one who took the lead."

"Yeah, well," you said, rolling your eyes playfully, "someone had to." You felt a rush of confidence at that thought, the boldness of the night igniting a fire within you.

"Good," he said, his gaze intense.

"I like that side of you." His voice dipped lower, laced with sincerity. "But let's keep it between us for now. Not tryna get the Santos looking at you like that."

You nodded, relief washing over you. "Agreed. Just a secret between us." You smiled, and the tension began to ease, replaced by an electric current of anticipation for what this meant for your relationship.

As you both took a moment to gather yourselves, the car still hummed with the energy of what had just happened. You couldn't shake the feeling that this was a turning point, a shift in your dynamic. The night was far from over, and you could feel the thrill of possibilities ahead.

"Ready to go back?" Oscar asked, glancing toward the party, a teasing grin back on his lips.

"Only if you promise to keep your hands to yourself for a while," you shot back playfully, the banter returning like a familiar comfort.

He laughed, shaking his head. "No promises, lil ma. You might just make it too hard to resist."

With a shared look of mischief and understanding, you opened the door and stepped back into the world, hand in hand, the memory of your passionate encounter lingering between you like a secret thrill, waiting to be explored further.

[circusinthewalls]

☆ Viburnums - Chapter 1: The Fucking Sun ☆

Thank the heavens for holiday leave. You weren't sure how much longer you could stand the bitter cold that seeped through the barracks windows back on base. At least here at home, even if it wasn't much better insulation wise, you weren't tossing and turning all night from the chill. Not that you could really move much to begin with, sandwiched between Johnny and Simon like this. Although, come to think of it, you're all pretty pent up, so maybe it isn't so bad after all. Granted you can balance getting your last minute Christmas shopping done with getting your back blown out, of course.

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Tags: Soft Simon "Ghost" Riley, Top Simon "Ghost" Riley, Soft John "Soap" MacTavish, Top John "Soap" MacTavish, They're both fairly possessive of you tbh, AFAB Reader, Gender Neutral Terms, this is really self indulgent tbh, Christmas, Boxing Day, Established Polyam Relationship, Porn With Plot, I know it's May leave me alone, The holidays are nice, I imagined reader as transmasc when writing this, but anyone can read tbh, I got like two hours of sleep help, Proship DNI, MDNI, flip flopping povs like hotcakes baby i do what i want

a/n: Hello!! This will have a few more chapters, so some of the tags will be relevant within the next chapter. Will hopefully have that out in a couple days. Enjoy! o7 [ao3 link] [Masterlist] [Chapter 2 (TBA)]

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Simon awakes first. Much to his surprise, actually. Typically you're the one that rises at dawn with him following close behind.  He doesn't blame you, though. The trip home, what with all the holiday crowding in the airport and the traffic after, took a lot out of all of you. By some miracle you'd managed to hold it together enough for the three of you combined, but he could tell it'd left you exhausted. He rolls over, inching himself closer as he drapes his tattooed arm over your midsection, brushing against Johnny's hand that rests down by your hip. Briefly, he watches to see if the other man will stir. Then his gaze flickers to you. Neither of you even shift. Wrecked clearly. Suddenly finding himself a little more content with the idea of simply going back to sleep, he sidles up against you proper, nuzzling between your shoulder blades and using your warmth to lull him into drifting off again.

Later in the morning it's you that first withdraws from slumber, albeit slowly. You suck in a breath and stretch out your legs, yet in doing so you come to realize that someone's thigh is wedged firmly between them.You crack an eye open to investigate, only to wince when met with the sliver of hazy sunlight that's peeking in through the space between the curtains. You relent and decide to put off the task for later. It's not like you've ever minded being tangled up with the boys, anyway. Whoever's thigh it is can stay there. Isn't half bad in that spot, actually. ... Jesus, how long has it been since the three of you had simply had some time together that you're genuinely starting to get worked up just from this? Wracking your memories only turns up mission after mission with training filling in the gaps apart from a fleeting tryst in the locker room. One that'd gotten cut short when Price nearly walked in on the three of you, calling through the door that he needed Johnny for a moment. Speaking of the Scotsman, you can feel him move beside you. Probably startled awake by the way you jerked when the morning rays attacked you seconds prior. His fingers curl in, hand lazily feeling over your waist as he wakes up, trying to regain sense of his surroundings and figure out why it's so fuckin' hot in here. You tentatively open your eyes again just as he's turning away from you a bit, body twisting sideways enough to make his meaty thigh press harder against your clothed sex. Maybe it'd be more bearable if you'd had either him or Simon in you at all in the last month.  When you make a small noise at the feeling, Johnny finally seems to remember you exist. Blinking the last ties of sleep away, he turns his attention over to you. "We're outta milk," he mutters. 

What??  "Just remembered." You squint at him, an emotion akin to befuddlement written across your face. Of course, kudos to the man for having his priorities straight. You did need milk and.. Well, the whole lot of other standard groceries to be honest. Such is life coming back home every odd couple of months or so. Still, a, 'Good mornin' lovie,' would've been nice to hear first.

"Simonnn," you groan, quickly and haphazardly disentangling yourself from Johnny to roll over and face your other partner instead. "Your boyfriend is being fucking weird again." All the sudden flopping around is enough to rather abruptly rouse him, earning a gruff sound in response. He rubs at his eyes, trying his hardest to listen to whatever the hell it is you're saying so soon after waking him up. Laying damn near completely on top of him while doing so, at that. Truth be told he missed most of it, but he did make out something about Johnny being his boyfriend. At least he's pretty sure he did. "Yeah?" he hesitantly agrees, voice still thick with grogginess. "Was yours, too, last I checked?" Johnny isn't paying you two much mind. He has other plans and fully intends to see them through, so while you're preoccupied whining to Simon he slips out of bed unnoticed. Only when he's leaning over, fully dressed and ready to brace the snowy weather outside, planting goodbye kisses atop each of your heads do you pick up on the absence of his warmth beside you. You sit up, almost trying to chase him for another kiss, equally surprised and curious about his unanticipated departure. "Goin' to the market," he answers before you can even ask. "Ye ken I won't be long." As you two watch him exit the flat, Simon pulls you back down into his arms. He's not particularly excited about seeing Johnny go either, but he knows he'll be back within the hour and certainly won't object to having you to himself until then.

Writing not permitted for reposting, transcription, translation or to use with AI technologies.

[faegoddessog]

Day 8: Your comfort character of Austin's roles.

Ok loves, I've decided to try something to stretch myself creatively with this challenge. I'm gonna dribble my drabble and see if I can tie each theme into an actual story that I'll write day by day! We'll see how it goes! Wish me luck!

Here is my ongoing masterlist of this project.

My other works are here if you are interested!

Check out the fun challenge here by @slowsweetlove . Feel free to jump in too!

Day 8: Your comfort character of Austins roles.

“Now where are we going,” he says after you get him outside. 

“We are going to correct a long overdue mistake,” you say, “and I'm not going to do it in a diner.” 

You are dragging Austin around your city and you don’t fucking care. You practically march him  the two  blocks to Washington Square Park. The park was one of your favorite places and if you were going to take this chance, you were gonna do it with flare. 

You stop in the center of arch and turn to face him. He’s got this half wary, half amused look. 

“Ok,” you suddenly have butterflies in your stomach. “I think it’s wildly ironic  that ten years ago we both liked the other but weren’t able to actually say it. And it's more than mere coincidence that we ran into each other today. But what would you say if I told you that I just realized that I never really got over you?” 

“Hmm, all good points” his voice is low as he nods his head, taking a step closer to you. His eyes flick from your eyes to your lips as he inches closer,  “I think I’d say something along the lines of ‘yeah, me neither.”

He lowers his lips to yours. Soft, warm, supple. Oh my god they were everything you’d ever imagined and more, they were real. This was real. His hand floats to your jaw as he deepens the kiss. You feel it in your toes. 

It dawns on you that ten years ago, this would not have been nearly as good. Then you were young and inexperienced, but now, older, wiser and now you have the best spice of all: confidence. 

He pulls you into his warm body.  As you wrap your hand around the back of his neck. Both of you forgetting just how public a place this is for just a moment. 

You hear the hiss of hydraulics as he pulls away from you. Something catches your eye behind him. A bus is stopped at the light . Plastered on the side,  holding a red guitar, is a dark-haired, half-lidded, eye-lined version of the face you just kissed. 

You know it’s him, because his name is plastered on the left of his chest, and ‘Tom Hanks’ to the right. His full lips and prominent Adam's apple makes your heart race. 

“Jesus Austin,” you nod towards the bus, “that is fucking hot.” 

“What?” he asks. frowning. You can tell the timing was not good. You hit him right in his inferiority complex by your distraction. He just kissed you for heaven’s sake!

He turns around and his imposter syndrome hits him in the face. He’s not seen those promo images yet. He rubs the back of his neck, shifting from foot to foot,  blowing out a breath through puffed cheeks.  He is suddenly red with embarrassment. You had forgotten how very shy Austin really was.

“Yeah, that's like a whole different person, that's not me,” his distress was plain. For an actor, he just couldn’t hide some things.  

“Hey,” you tilt his chin up, “I know. I know that’s just a role and not who you are. I see you Austin, even if it’s been ten years. And for the record, you are my favorite, just you being you.”  You caress his face.

credit to @saradika for the graphic!

Always tag me: @purejasmine, @slowsweetlove, @richardslady121, @austinbutlerslovers, @tadpoleteef, @allittakesisoneflight

"I've been tagged by you before Lumiere!": @thisworldisntrealhoney,  @1nho,  @megangovier, @briaandthephantoms, @andro-inherdreamworld @callumsgirl @blombardo  @fefeisastar @hacunamy @nestito702 @denised916 @jayydep @r0m4nitcl0v3r @heyidc03, @secondchild-2, @flander42 @natural-born-rebel-spirit @lecosymood @kathrynzaragoza @bsunshinexo @jayydep @ifyouloveweedletsgosmoke

[axailslink]

Okey boom so reader and shuri in the lab late one night messing around and then realize that they have feeling for each other.

Why are you looking at me like that?

Shuri x FEM reader

You love the late nights in the lab with Shuri it was a lot less stressful because it was only you two and most of the time you weren't actually doing work... However today was one of those boring slow days where you actually was working.

You look at Shuri who's focused on something on her tablet "Shuri" she hums in response and you smile "you want to dance with me?" She glances over at you confused "not at this moment" she mumbles and you grab her hands as you get up and ask Griot to play Essence by Wizkid and Tems she just watches as you dance to the beat eventually letting go of her hands and just giving to the music. Shuri can't help but smile at you she doesn't know why but she's always loved how no matter where you were no matter the time you always found time to dance to just be you...she liked that you were uniquely yourself not a lot of women could say that but you could. Shuri just watches and admires you from her desk while you're in your own little world hands running up and down your body as you sing to the song she smiles when you make eye contact with her... She hated that because every time it reminded her of this crush she was aware of that she wanted to go away she didn't want to hurt your friendship she had noticed it about a month ago something of the same thing was happening you were in your own little world and her eyes were just filled with love and care. It dawned on her just how much she wanted to be the one to make you smile and the one to dance with you while you were in your own little world. She wants to make you smile with all your teeth and not just your top row she truly wants you to be happy but she wonders if she can be apart of that happiness.

When the song ends and goes along to the next song you find yourself approaching her you carefully take her face in both of your hands and she smiles. You have the same thoughts as her you want to make her happy no matter what but can you be apart of that happiness?

Did that happiness truly include a lover or was it just a friend? She stares at you her smile slowly fading "why are you looking at me like that?" She asks you hum and rub her cheek "nothing you had a little something on your face.

Shit you both think as you look at the other the room is full of tension you two don't know what to do as you stand in front of each other. "Sorry to interrupt just felt like a little music would lighten things up I was starting to get sleepy. Shuri grabs your hand hesitantly "you know I love you right?" You smile "of course" Shuri said this often but you could feel the double meaning behind it this time yet neither of you say anything as you go back to your table. You both just sit as the music fills the room with this upbeat rhythm that neither of you could share with the other.

A/n: finally a request I enjoyed writing sorry not much of a happy ending.

[bearlylogic]

Nightmares (chreon oneshot)

pairing: leon x chris

summary: Leon has a nightmare, and Chris has to help him go back to sleep-- despite his protests.

word count: 2.7k

tags: nightmares, emotional hurt/comfort

NOTE: long story short i made a writing blog but decided to keep it all under this blog buuuut i do wanna start writing more!! mostly re rn but i have some other stuff planned..

honestly if anyone who's reading this has any requests dont be afraid to send them in, i might consider writing a lil something, but no promises bc im scared of people and i take forever to write anything

but still :)

Chris wakes to a shout.

He sits up, heart racing, instinctively reaching for the lamp on the nightstand. Immediately he turns to Leon beside him— he’s thrashing wildly about in his sleep, clearly caught in the throes of some kind of panic. He makes another noise, like a wounded animal. It sounds wrong. 

Anxiety grips Chris’ spine. He moves cautiously towards Leon, settles a hand on his shoulder. He calls his name, trying to be heard over the sounds Leon is making. 

He continues thrashing.

Chris grows more frantic. He grabs both of Leon’s shoulders and shakes him, maybe a little too roughly for someone who’s not in their right mind, but he’s never seen the man like this before. Chris is about to shout Leon’s name again, louder, but the man’s eyes snap open wide. Breathing heavily, he lurches upright.

“Leon,” Chris breathes. “Jesus, I didn’t-”

Before he can finish speaking, Leon lashes out against him with a cry of terror. He blindly swings his fists in Chris’ direction. Chris scrambles to grab for his wrists, but the other man is relentless. His fist manages to connect with Chris’ cheek and he curses, clutching tenderly at his face.

He hears a loud thud and looks up to find that Leon is no longer in the bed— he’s fallen to the floor.

Leon blinks rapidly. He looks up at Chris, and recognition dawns on his face at last. Now that Chris is actually looking at his face, he realizes that there are tears streaking down Leon's cheeks. “Chris,” he chokes out around a sob. 

The aggression seizing his body just seconds before completely vanishes, and what remains on the ground is a trembling mess of a man tangled in bedsheets. He looks frighteningly small. 

Moving as slowly as he can, Chris drops down onto the floor next to Leon. He flinches but remains where he is, gasping for air. Chris doesn't say a word, but he reaches out to take Leon’s hand into his own. 

Chris listens in silence as he fights to get his breathing under control. Leon is gripping his hand hard, and it’s starting to hurt, but Chris just lets him.

“Hey,” he whispers. “Listen. Just breathe with me.”

Leon whimpers. “B-but I-”

“Shh. Just do it. Breathe in…” He inhales slowly, prompting Leon to do the same. “...and out.” He exhales just as slowly.

He does it over and over again, watching Leon, waiting patiently for him to calm. Eventually he does— his breathing slows to match Chris’, and his crying fades to intermittent sniffles. He heaves a world-bearing sigh and rakes a hand through his hair. “Fuck.”

Chris rubs his thumb against the side of Leon’s palm. “Okay now?”

He swallows hard. There’s still a slight hitch in his breathing. “I’m… I’m fine.”

“You sure? Because that- that seemed pretty bad.”

“It was. Felt so fucking real…”

Chris reaches out to draw Leon into his arms. Normally the man would’ve stiffened and pulled away, but now he just slumps forward against him, like he’s too exhausted to keep up his defenses. His head comes to rest on Chris’ shoulder

“I know,” he whispers, rubbing a palm soothingly up and down Leon’s back. “That’s the worst thing about nightmares, isn’t it?”

Leon nods against him.

“Do you… want to talk about it?”

He stiffens. Shakes his head.

“Okay,” he says gently. “That’s fine. We can just sit.”

Leon seems to be okay with this, because that’s exactly what they do. Chris holds him fast, listening to his breathing slowly return to normal. All of this has become a routine in some twisted way, he thinks— Leon waking up screaming, and Chris doing his best to comfort him and coax him back to sleep. Well, minus Leon getting physically violent during a nightmare; that had never happened before tonight. Chris’ cheek is still throbbing. Even in sleep Leon could sure throw a punch…

Chris glances up at the digital alarm clock on the nightstand. It’s a little past two in the morning.

“It’s late. You should try to go back to sleep.”

Leon leans back with his hands on Chris’ shoulders. “N-no, I can’t…”

His voice is high and desperate, cracking on the last word. Chris is so unfamiliar with hearing him like this, this terrified… Seeing Leon in this raw, unfiltered state feels almost wrong. Like a violation of his privacy. This, he knows, is the Leon that walls have been built around. The one that is hidden from the world.

“Okay, alright…” He grabs for one of his hands again. Squeezes it. “So what now?”

“I'm going to go sit on the couch,” Leon says. He briefly returns the pressure, then untangles himself from the sheets wrapped around his legs and stands. Without another word he's gone, out of the room, and Chris is left sitting alone on the floor beside the bed. 

…

“Thought you said you were going to sit on the couch.”

Leon looks up at him from where he’s seated in front of the couch on the floor. He’s watching something on the TV—  if Chris had to guess, The French Connection.

He doesn’t say anything, just leans his head back on the couch cushions and gazes at Chris. He really looks dreadful; dark circles shadowing his sunken eyes, frazzled hair, and a miserable expression on his face. It causes an almost physical ache in Chris’ chest.

“Can’t risk falling back asleep,” Leon says hoarsely.

Chris crosses the room and sits down on the couch. He pats the space next to him. “Sit with me.”

“Chris, please…”

“You don’t have to sleep. I just want you to sit with me.”

Leon huffs, but he picks himself up and sinks down next to Chris. He curls up against his side, resting his head on his shoulder. Chris slides an arm around him, tugging him closer. “There you go,” he murmurs warmly. He runs the palm of his hand up and down Leon’s arm. “That’s better.”

Time passes; they sit in silence. Chris continues to hold Leon, and eventually he hears his breathing begin to slow. Just when he thinks he’s fallen asleep, Leon jerks awake and sits up ramrod straight.

“Hey, hey, easy,” Chris says, still keeping his arm draped loosely around Leon’s middle. “Just relax, Leon. Jesus. You’re safe.”

Leon’s body remains rigid against him. “I’m not going back to sleep.”

Chris turns then, so he can take Leon’s face into his hands. He stares into his tired eyes. “Tell me what’s going on.”

“What do you mean?” He tries to pull away from Chris.

Chris sighs. “I mean, look at you. You’re run ragged. These nightmares you’re having… they’re affecting your sleep. Every time I try to talk to you about it, you brush it off. It worked at first, but… not anymore. Not now. Please, just talk to me, Leon. I… I’m worried. About you.”

He sees Leon swallow. The man looks away, unable all of a sudden to meet Chris’ gaze. He doesn’t speak, not for a long time; just sits there with his brow furrowed. His eyes glaze over like he’s gone to a different time and place, somewhere far away, and only his body remains in the present. Chris thumbs away the tears that begin to form at the outer corners of his eyes.

“It’s okay,” Chris says softly. “Hey, it’s alright. Let’s start small. I’ve noticed that maybe the nightmares have gotten worse… they have, haven’t they?”

After a pause, Leon seems to come back to himself a little and he nods. 

“What are they about?”

Leon sighs. His breath hitches in his throat. “It’s always the same one, over and over,” he whispers. “And it feels… it feels so fucking real every time. Especially tonight. I’m back in Raccoon City, and I just…” More tears drip down his cheeks onto Chris’ fingers. He breathes shakily. “I can’t escape it, Chris. Even when I’m asleep…”

Chris wraps him in a bear hug, holding a hand to the back of his head. Leon buries his face in the crook of his neck, weeping so silently that Chris might not be able to tell he's crying if not for the way that his shoulders jerk and shake. His arms are tight, desperate around Chris’ waist. A plea.

“I've got you,” Chris murmurs. He runs his fingers through Leon's sweat-soaked hair. “You're gonna be okay. I'm gonna get you help.”

Leon just whimpers. 

By the time Leon’s shoulders still, he's sagging against Chris. Exhausted. Nearly cried himself to sleep. Chris gently leans away from him with his hands on his shoulders. “What made it worse tonight?”

Leon wipes aggressively at his eyes with the collar of his shirt. He doesn’t meet Chris’ gaze. “It just felt more… realistic. The sights, the sounds, the smells… I-I was there, I swear I was. Woke up with my heart racing like I’d just ran a marathon.”

“Well, like I said, we’re gonna get this figured out. I promise.”

To Chris’ surprise, Leon laughs. It’s small and quiet, devoid of any humor, but it’s still strange. Chris tries to make eye contact with him. “What?”

Leon shakes his head, smiling bitterly. “There’s nothing to figure out.”

“What the hell are you talking about?”

His expression darkens. “There’s nothing to figure out about me. This is the way things are going to be for the rest of my life. Not a single fucking day goes by that I don’t think about… about that night, and that’s never going to change. I’ve come to accept that.”

“Don’t say things like that.”

Leon drops the smile completely. “What, the truth?”

Chris sighs. “Listen, you’re exhausted. You’re not thinking straight. Maybe we should talk about this tomorrow. Just- what can I do right now to help you sleep?”

Leon glares at him like he’s about to keep arguing, but his gaze settles on Chris’ face. His expression shifts from miserable to concerned, and a crease appears between his brows. He reaches up to brush his fingertips over Chris’ cheek. “What happened to your face?”

Shit. Chris had nearly forgotten the way that Leon had come into the waking world with his teeth bared earlier. Leon must not remember, must not have been aware. He racks his mind for an explanation; he doesn’t know how Leon would react if he tells him the truth. It feels too late in the night for that kind of guilt.

He captures Leon’s hand in his own and gently rubs his thumb against his palm. “It was a stupid mistake. Don’t worry about it.”

“You’re a horrible liar, Chris. Tell me what happened. Did someone hit you?”

“I hit my face on a cabinet door earlier. Everything’s fine.”

Leon still doesn’t look convinced. “Does it hurt?”

“No. It doesn’t. Like I said, I’m fine.” He attempts a smile, but he can’t bring himself to make it reach his eyes.

Leon stares at his face a moment longer, then he leans forward to plant a kiss on Chris’ wounded cheek. It’s tender, and sappy, and not something he’d normally do. But it makes Chris’ stomach feel warm and fluttery. “If you say so,” Leon says quietly.

Chris wraps his arms around him again. “I think it’s time to try and get some rest again.”

“Chris…”

“You need to at least try.” He brushes some of Leon’s hair out of his face. “I know you don’t want to, but… you need sleep.”

Leon closes his eyes and sighs. His voice suddenly becomes very small. “I’m just going to have another nightmare and wake up again.”

“I’ll be here,” Chris whispers. “Just like I always am. I promise.”

Defeated, Leon slumps forward and bumps his forehead against Chris’ shoulder. “Fine.”

…

Chris had managed to coax Leon back into bed, despite the other man’s protests. He holds him from behind, his arms locked around his waist, chin resting on his shoulder. He’s surprised at how affectionate Leon is allowing him to be; he’s never been a touchy-feely person, to say the least.

Now, as they lay, Leon is restless. He keeps sighing, and Chris can feel him shifting around in his arms. This goes on for several minutes before Leon releases a frustrated grunt and huffs in resignation. “I can’t do this.”

Chris releases Leon’s squirming form so that he can shift onto his back. He pats his chest. “Alright. C’mere, lie down on me.”

Leon shakes his head; Chris can tell he’s getting frustrated. His eyes are wet. “Chris, I can’t. Nothing ever works. Once it happens I don’t go back to sleep.”

“Please? I have an idea.”

“It won’t work,” he mumbles. But Chris can hear the weariness in his voice. 

He reaches for one of Leon’s hands and tugs on it. “Humor me?��

After looking at Chris for a moment, Leon sighs heavily. He crawls towards him and collapses on top of him, his body a welcome weight against Chris’. But Chris can feel just how tense Leon is, how stiff his muscles are. It isn’t often that Chris holds him like this— he assumes it’s usually too much for Leon— but he knows that can’t be the only thing keeping him from relaxing.

“Good,” Chris murmurs, bringing his hands up to tangle his fingers in Leon’s hair. “Just loosen up a little. Take some deep breaths and unclench those muscles.”

He feels Leon’s chest rising and falling against his own. Leon does this for a few moments, trying to match Chris’. Eventually he does feel a bit less tense but Chris can tell he’s not settled down enough to sleep. 

“That’s it,” he praises softly. “Now listen closely and tell me what you hear.”

A few seconds of silence. Leon’s voice is quiet, small. “Your heartbeat.”

“Good. I want you to keep listening to that. Focus on it, count the beats.” He continues to play with his hair, gently twisting the locks around his fingers. 

After a while, Leon still hasn’t said anything and Chris begins to think he finally fell asleep. But then he speaks, his voice even softer and less audible than before. “I’m so tired,” he mumbles. 

“Go to sleep. I'm right here.”

He hears the quietest of sniffles. “I can’t. I… I’m afraid.”

Chris frowns, concerned. That’s something he never thought he’d hear come out of Leon’s mouth, ever. “Of what?”

“Going back to sleep,” he whispers tearfully. “I’m going to have the- the nightmare again, I know I will, Chris…”

The tone of his voice— desperate but exhausted at the same time—  hurts Chris’ heart. He stops playing with his hair to wrap his arms around him and squeeze him gently. He can feel his heart racing against his own chest. “Oh, Lee…”

He starts to cry again, shuddering against Chris. Only this time he isn’t as quiet. Ugly, choked noises come from him as he weeps, muffled by Chris’ t-shirt. His tears and snot soak through the fabric, but Chris couldn’t care less. He just holds him through the storm, rubbing his palm up and down Leon’s spine. He doesn’t know how long it goes on for. All he knows is that tonight he’s experienced a lot of firsts— one being hearing Leon actually cry. 

Eventually his sobs soften to just a tremble in his breathing. Chris continues holding him, rubbing his back, willing his weary soul to rest. “I don’t want to be afraid anymore,” Leon whispers hoarsely. “I want… I want to be able to sleep. To rest.”

Chris’ throat tightens. “You can. I promise you can.”

Leon yawns. “No,” he mumbles simply.

Chris doesn’t miss how much quieter Leon sounds, the overwhelming weariness in his voice. He sounds muted almost. But he decides not to call attention to it, just continues trying to comfort him using the gentlest tone he can muster. “Why not?”

“Because-“ Another yawn. “Because I have… nightmares.”

“Well, I think you can sleep,” Chris murmurs, playing gently with his hair again. “And I don’t think you’ll have any more nightmares tonight. In fact, I know you won’t. I can feel it.”

Leon answers with a noncommittal noise at the back of his throat. 

They lie there a moment, and Chris listens as Leon’s breathing begins to slow. He continues stroking Leon’s hair, holding him, comforting him. 

“Goodnight, Leon.”

“G’night,” he breathes. Chris can hardly hear him he’s so quiet.

The conversation lulls into silence. Leon goes completely still against Chris— he’s cried himself to sleep.

And, just like Chris had predicted, Leon doesn’t wake until morning.

[dreamofhircine]

okay so here is the 2023 books year-in-review, this is going to be v. long because I ended up reading & re-reading a lot of my backlog after rebuilding the bookshelves in our house. This is going to be roughly sorted, and I'll try and say a little bit about each thing.

Hazel Jane Plante

Little Blue Encyclopedia (for Vivian) - I adored this! It's a slimmer book, closer to a novella, but it was maybe my favorite piece this whole year. The central premise of this is that in a haze of grief after the death of her bestie a woman gets way too into their shared fandom and writes a combination of TV show fandom zine, obituary & love letter. The two-part narrative structure is something that Plante would go on to play w/ more in

Any Other City - also a great book! This is written as the memoir of a trans punk rock star split between her journal style letters in the 90s as she navigated an art scene as a woman who doesn't realize it yet, and then picks up again in the 2020s after her own celebrity was cemented.

Casey Plett

Little Fish - Really rad slice of life about a mennonite trans woman in Canada who has a lot of feelings about that. This feels more than anything like a strong expansion upon several of Plett's short stories in A Dream of a Woman.

A Dream of a Woman - I got lost in so many of the stories in this anthology, Plett writes the lives of these women so vividly it feels like you know them. You probably *do* know them.

A Safe Girl to Love - Plett's first anthology, recently re-published. I was not *as big* a fan of this one, but it still holds up very well and is a good example of her style generally.

The Locked Tomb - I am gonna talk about all three of these in one go, actually. These were really sweet, really nice, I really like the approach to necromancy as just sort of another kind of science or physical force, worked through a process very close to magic. I've been seeing art of these characters around for a long time now and it is nice to finally put a personality to the faces. The pool scene in GtNth especially really hit.

Gideon the Ninth

Harrow the Ninth

Nona the Ninth

Peter Watts - This is also gonna get a block review because so many of the things here are interconnected to one another. Starfish to Behemoth are all in The Rifters Trilogy, and Blindsight & Echopraxia are a pair. Watts has a really great way of tearing down the human brain and playing with all the ways that trauma can influence it, how adaptational quirks can be weaponized. Starfish is probably the single best way to get into his work, but if 'vampires in space' sounds more your speed then Blindsight has it covered.

Starfish

Maelstrom

Behemoth

Blindsight

Echopraxia

qntm

There Is No Antimemetics Division - This is a republish of qntm's large body of work on the SCP wiki, sharing the same name. This is really solid, and the use of narrative negative space is interesting.

Valuable Humans in Transit and Other Stories - A slim collection of short stories and an overall much better showing from qntm, no longer tied up w/ SCP stuff. The things that delve into the implication of human mind based AI constructs especially is really strongly written and will leave you thinking for a while after.

The Division - Broken Dawn is the older entry and did not really capture my attention very strongly, it felt phoned in more than anything else. Recruited & Compromised by contrast could stand on their own w/o The Division branding though both are very well integrated into the game, w/ events going back and forth between the two now that the game is getting more narrative content to it.

The Division: Broken Dawn

The Division: Recruited

The Division: Compromised

D&D - You can probably guess why I jumped into these and what game got me to do it. Drizzt is something I avoided for a very long time because of the associations in the fandom and that was probably not unwarranted tbh. I probably won't continue w/ the series after Exile. It is competently written but these things are creaking w/ their own age and just don't have enough going on to stand on their own unfortunately.

Drizzt: Homeland

Drizzt: Exile

The Devil You Know - Another entry in the Brimstone Angels series, which is my favorite of any of the longer running D&D series. Centered around the misadventures of a Tiefling Warlock and how she gets pulled into the big-dick-swinging matches between various devils trying to make their weird little power plays.

40K

Horusian Wars: Incarnation - This was stellar. Great look at the Inquisition and how insular and back-stabby it can be, I hope more comes from this.

Kasrkin - A mostly by the numbers book that was written entirely to promote the 'kasrkin vs necrons' Kill Team box that came out a bit back. Competent but doesn't have anything new or interesting to say.

Pariah - Eh. This wasn't bad, but it wasn't that good either. Abnett has long been one of my favorite authors in general, not even just in 40k specifically, but I don't think it is controversial to say he has fallen off lately. Compared to his earlier stuff w/ the Inquisitors, hell even compared to stuff like that Horusian Wars book and Pariah just doesn't do enough and the whole Bequin sequence right now feels like it is mostly being done to shift things around in the meta-narrative rather than be good books that stand on their own feet.

The Armour of Contempt - I re-read this one recently and it was just as good as when I first picked it up in high school. Abnett is at some of his best here.

General Fiction (Unsorted)

The Archive Undying: The Downworld Sequence Book 1 - Homosexual activities in a sci-fi fantasy world once dominated by city-scale god-king AIs that went critically rampant a long time ago. This is a really great start to what I hope will be an excellent series.

The Darkness That Comes Before - Re-read after initially reading this when it was new and I was like a pre-teen. Definitely not a book a pre-teen should read and maybe some of that explains why I am like this now. Let's not look at that *too* closely, yeah? This still stands on its own after all these years, though I hear the series in general kind of flagged after a while. If you're into nihilist fantasy check it out.

Burning Chrome - Re-read and enjoyed yet again. Classic Gibson, lays the frame upon which the rest of his body of work would be built.

Pattern Recognition - Re-read this and it still holds up. Gibson is at his height here, calling shots that would start to land almost *immediately* after he published it. Reading this may re-orient your fashion sense entirely so be forewarned and have a bit of space in your wardrobe first I guess.

All You Need Is Kill - Another re-read! I got back into this after realizing that a lot of that traumatized mech pilot pornography I was writing drew so much inspiration for this. I still love the story, I still love the framing, I still love the short and brutal way it is written and the translation is very solid.

Wasteland: Stories of the Apocalypse - Yet another re-read. I originally read this in high school and I owe a great amount of creative debt to some of these stories, hugely influential works and I recommend picking this up.

This Shape We’re in - A tiny little novella by the author of Motherless Brooklyn (which is currently sitting in my 'to do' pile). There is no adequate way to describe this that wouldn't sound like a joke, it is Lethem's most unusual and maybe his best for that.

Poetry

In the Shape of a Human Body I Am Visiting the Earth - Mostly translated poetry, this was solidly collected and a great example of Global(tm) Poetry.

One Hundred Apocalypses and other Apocalypses - More microfic really but I liked this. The different ways the world can end, be it physically from bombs or emotionally in a bad text message.

Wound from the Mouth of a Wound - Simply beautiful collection of work by torrin a. greathouse, I *adored* this.

Non-Fiction

Underlands: A Deep Time Journey - This was beautiful, simply put. A deep dive (hehe) into places beneath the earth and the people that spend more time beneath the surface than above it. I especially loved the travelogue in the cordoned off sections of the Paris catacombs, you can really feel the claustrophobia and danger of it all.

Bitch: The Female of the Species - I picked this up solely because it had a picture of a hyena on the cover. I do not regret that, it was great and that is something I seldom stay about pop-academic gender books.

Emergence: Labeled Autistic - Temple Grandin's first autobiography. This has been heavily dated in how she talks about being autistic and she has changed her views on this several times, to the point where depending on the version you pick up there may be several introductions from the author in a sequence reflecting on this. It is rare to see autobiographies from notable autistic women, it is rare for there to *be* notable autistic women, so I am really happy that I read this.

Memento Mori: The Dead Among Us - Mostly a photo book that I picked up while on a trip to MFABoston w/ my girlfriend. This is a great little table book if nothing else.

Infrastructural Brutalism: Art and the Necropolitics of Infrastructure - A somewhat dry but well researched dive into massive infrastructure projects and the death cult attitude that empowers them.

Queering Mennonite Literature - A university press publication, you know the drill w/ these. Good base to start from if you want to get more into the intersection of queer & menno literature, which is why I picked it up after reading a lot of Casey Plett's books.

David Graeber

Bullshit Jobs - Maybe the best that Graeber has been, and also an example of him leaning really hard into the pop-science aspect of his public persona. If you've got an office job that feels completely fake please read this.

The Dawn of Everything - Graeber's last work before his death and... Well I think it is really good, well written, broadly researched, but much like Debt you're going to either agree w/ his premise or not. There are some rather radical takes here. I highly recommend it though.

Debt: The First 5000 Years - There has been a lot of back and forth on this and there will never be a solid answer. I think the arguments made here are fairly strong, pretty convincing, but if you're involved in this academically in any way you're liable to have a lot of strong opinions one way or another as you read it.

LitMags

Clarkesworld: Every sci-fi enjoying homosexual has a Clarkesworld subscription these days so I don't have a lot unique to say about this. Great year for work, I love the regular infusion of translated works as usual, and I hope that the recent business hits they've taken don't impact it too hard. Definitely re-subbing.

Alaska Quarterly Review: There were some good entries to this but for the most part it kind of felt like an 'eating your vegetables' situation. I probably won't renew for the next year, but I don't *regret* picking it up this year either.

McSweeney’s: Solid as ever, though I found the 'halloween' issue they did to be kind of boring overall. Everything else was primarily hits, and I'll be carrying this forward next year.

[cnnmairoll]

Pairing : Suna x Reader

a/n : Rewriting my first fic ! There isn't really much change at first, more like the way I write it. But I did add more to it, I hope you enjoy it ! :D

"What's the matter?" Suna's voice echoed through the discord call that had been ongoing for the past three hours. It was 2 a.m., and this nightly call with Suna was a time for both of you to simply be together, doing nothing or anything while music played in the background. You lifted your head from the assignment you had been working on for the past hour. "Hmm? What do you mean?" you asked, curious.

"You've been shivering and scrunching your face. It's actually quite cute, but now I'm genuinely concerned," Suna expressed, his voice filled with worry. Leaning back in your chair, you searched for the right words to describe the strange sensations you had been experiencing. "Well, how can I put it… Lately, I've been having this weird feeling in my body that makes me all jittery and uneasy. Trust me, it's not a pleasant sensation," you explained, feeling a sense of relief as you shared your thoughts.

Suddenly, the "underground" song that Suna had been playing came to a halt. "Hey, it was getting to the good part," you playfully whined. "Shut up, I'm changing the playlist," Suna responded, his fingers clicking away on the keyboard. The bot started playing a much calmer song, and you opened the chat to see Suna had chosen a playlist titled "Everything's Going to Be Okay ~ Playlist to Soothe Anxiety." You felt the urge to tease him about his efforts to calm you down with a cheesy playlist, but instead, you silently thanked him and embraced his presence.

You weren't sure how it worked, but Suna's small gestures meant the world to you and brought a comforting warmth to your heart. Just being in his company was enough to soothe your troubles, and you treasured every moment spent together.

As the tranquil melody filled the virtual space, a peaceful ambiance settled between you and Suna. The minutes ticked by, and though the world outside seemed chaotic and unpredictable, the connection you shared with Suna provided solace and stability. It was as if the discord call existed in its own little bubble, shielding you both from the outside world.

Suna's voice broke the silence, soft and reassuring. "You know," he began, "I may not have all the answers or a magical solution, but I'm here for you. Whenever you need someone to talk to or a shoulder to lean on, I'll be right by your side." His words resonated deeply within you, touching the core of your being. In a world where so much was uncertain, having someone who genuinely cared about your well-being was a precious gift.

A warm smile spread across your face, and you couldn't help but feel grateful for Suna's presence in your life. The bond you had formed through countless late-night conversations, shared laughter, and even the occasional tears had grown stronger over time. You realized that it wasn't just the calming playlist or the soothing words that made a difference—it was the genuine connection between you.

As the night grew darker and the moon hung high in the sky, you both found comfort in each other's virtual presence. Conversations flowed effortlessly, ranging from profound discussions about life's mysteries to lighthearted banter that elicited bursts of laughter. The hours slipped away, but neither of you minded because time seemed irrelevant when you were wrapped in the embrace of friendship.

In that moment, you understood that even amidst the uncertainties and challenges, you had found an anchor in Suna. Together, you faced the ups and downs, providing support and encouragement every step of the way. Whether it was through silly conversations, shared interests, or moments of vulnerability, you had built a bond that transcended the boundaries of the digital realm.

As the dawn approached and the sky painted hues of soft pastels, you reluctantly realized that it was time to bid each other farewell. But before you ended the call, you made a promise to continue these nightly rituals, knowing that they held a special place in your heart. With a renewed sense of hope and strength, you said your goodbyes, eagerly looking forward to the next opportunity to connect with Suna.

In a world where physical distance could separate people, you found solace in the fact that true connections knew no bounds. And as you closed your eyes, drifting into a peaceful slumber, you carried with you the knowledge that Suna's presence would always be just a call away, ready to bring light to the darkest of nights.

[flydotnet]

Bad Things Happen Bingo! The event where you send me requests according to this marvelous card! (Red cross is the completed prompt, character headshots are prompts I’ve already filled).

Stairs, a taser, Yuto's fist, and more stairs. What do they all have in common?

Oh look, this is my yearly Arc-V fanfic where I'm ignoring most of canon because who gives a fuck about the Arc-V canon past, like, the Synchro arc (YMMV) lol. Anyway, this is a catharsis fic where I combine all of my other vague changes to the canon so that stupid ship only me still cares about in 2023 A.D. and also where the stupid parasites are easily removable by a good dash of Raidraptor magic. This fic can also be called "the floor is actually writing the Duel" because I didn't want to burden myself with how godawful the Parasite archetype is, especially since I can't just copy-paste a Duel from canon. The one I'd have to plagiarize really... isn't that good too, we're just all biased because Yuto is badass.

The title is a bilingual pun between the English "volatine", which is a synonym of "explosive" or "unstable", and the French "volatile", which is a term used for birds. Y'know, like Shun. He's the two meanings of the word "volatile". The word was, in fact, invented to trip my foot over during translation classes and also for Shun Kurosaki from hit "lowest ratings on Nico Nico Douga" anime Yu-Gi-Oh Arc-V.

Speaking of my favourite bird-wielding edgelord, post-Xyz Shun is always kind of weird to write too. He's not the same abrasive bastard I keep remembering as, but then I'm afraid I'm writing him too soft. I kind of tend to forget he's that angry, that destructive in huge part because of his bonds to other people. I don't want a Draco in Leather Pants situation, God knows I've bitched about when it was happening with Revolver VRAINS. Just... think that in this timeline I'm never describing Serena and he stuck around for much longer, like at least through Synchro, character dev' happened, or something, idk

-----------------------------------

Volatile

Summary: Serena snaps back to reality in the middle of a Duel, only to quickly realize her spirit is fighting herself(?) and her body is fighting a rib-clutching Kurosaki. Nothing about this adds up, yet there she is, not even in control of her own body anymore.

Or: Shun came across a possessed Serena before his sister after losing her track back in the Xyz Dimension, this is the consequences of that forced encounter.

Fandom: Yu-Gi-Oh Arc-V Characters: Serena, Shun Ship: Peregrineshipping (pre-rel)

Wordcount: 3K words

Event hosted by @badthingshappenbingo​

AO3 version.

-----------------------------------

Serena wakes up on both her feet to the smell of gunpowder and the heat of a reactor.

 Recent wartime experiences as a well-groomed doll turned soldier turned renegade have shaped her in a way that she doesn’t question how she got there, let alone why, and only on what’s in front of her.

She’s in harm’s way, so she sidesteps to avoid a chunk of shrapnel.

She’s near fire, so she steps backwards to avoid getting burned, or worse, outright set ablaze.

She’s in the middle of a Duel, which means she’s in the middle of battle, and needs to focus. Alas, no experience has prepared her for what she sees on the blade of her trusty Disk – and decidedly feels like a stranger to her own deck.

 She doesn’t recognize most of the cards she’s playing. Most of them are bearing garish bugs clad in colours that only push her eyes far away, which she don’t quite pay a mind to. They’re mostly Monster cards, with the exception of a set Trap card and a Spell one that’s still active. It seems to affect an archetype known as “Parasite”, which she’s never played nor even heard of. Why the hell did she play that, before seemingly going to sleep? How did this even happen to begin with?

It only dawns on her then to look up, only to see a semi-familiar face that, if it had organic eyes, would have absolutely been staring daggers right into hers. Mechanic wings, reactors, the smell of ruin and gunpowder. No, there’s no mistaking it, she’s watched it ravage through opposite fields before, in person, on a screen… No doubt about it, it’s –

 “Rise Falcon,” an even more familiar voice tells in a hoarse but firm tone, “reduce those bugs to—”

“Wait!”

Arm already risen in front of him, the individual on the other side of the field stops with a frustrated frown.

“What is it? Afraid of defeat?”

Her head hurts.

“What’re you doing, Kurosaki?! We’re on the same side!”

He tilts his head backwards just a little, one of his eyes twitches. He’s almost showing teeth now.

“I asked you that before you forced my hand into this bullshit.” He sounds so hurt, in a way that she hasn’t heard in so long, and her chest starts choking her too. “Don’t take me for stupid, asshole.”

It’s a downright migraine that she’s now stuck trying to shove back.

“What do you mean? I just… Why would I do that?”

His expression immediately softens.

“You were under the control of that… thing,” he points to the Parasite Queen in front of her, “and almost pushed me off that tower. Then you challenged me to a Duel.”

This sounds like an utter fantasy; but if there’s one thing Kurosaki doesn’t do, it’s lying, even to those he doesn’t trust, so there must be a rational explanation for this.

“What para—”

Don’t resist, Serena. Be a good girl.

She clutches her head now. What’s this voice? How did they get inside her head?!

“Serena?”

You’re my slave, now. Be a good girl and fight the Xyz remnant in front of you.

“Shit, Serena, snap out of it!”

And just like this, she loses contact with her own body.

 It’s an awful feeling of dissociation, drowsiness and loss of control. Her foot don’t touch the ground anymore, leaving her floating inside her own consciousness. Her eyes don’t look where she wants them to go, more fixated on the cards than on the guy in front of her, for worse and no shade of better – because even through the haze of her controlled mind, Serena hears it, the wheeze and the rasp of his voice.

 “You little pest,” her voice groans once even her cords have given back into the parasite’s clutches. “Back to you it is, bird boy.”

Kurosaki remains silent, the deep-set frown on his face enough to speak for him. Only now does she see, through the haze of glazed eyes, how battered he truly is, an arm wrapped around his chest and a trinkle of blood going down his cheek.

“I’m not leaving you in this state, not again, so don’t go thinking you’re out of the woods.” He clenches his teeth, spits back venom, “I’m not letting any of this fly by.”

He makes it sound like he’s here to save her – which doesn’t make sense. Kurosaki wanted to save Ruri, his other friend and his homeland. She wasn’t on the list. (Although Serena would’ve given her all to save him would have their places been the opposite, because she seeks redemption, because she wants to be a heroine, because she cares for Kurosaki less like a brother and more like a—)

“Oh, charming knight in armour, here to save the damsel in distress!” It chuckles. “You sound so full of yourself, for a miserable bug! You’re not the big bird of prey you think you are! Or did you abandon me back there? Didn’t just you faint from some small debris?”

“Tch.” He settles back into a deadpan. “I detach one Overlay Unit from Rise Falcon…”

 It wasn’t small debris – it was a lot more than that. She watched him run to save a girl he knew from her trauma and whatever her own homeland was trying to pull off in the middle of a Tag Duel, and only thanks to Kaito’s help was she able to finish them off before it was too late. She was scared beyond her mind’s comprehension, back there, but unable to realize until much late how much that had been; because there was no time.

No wonder why Kurosaki was so volatile. He hadn’t processed much of anything. Even now, she doubts he has.

What’s also no wonder to her is why she got so scared back then and a part of what’s grounding her to her body despite the phantom pain. She wants to do the right thing and stop this Duel from continuing any further. She doesn’t want to continue being a puppet for whomever infected her in Academia, her first and alleged only home for so long. She can’t hurt Kurosaki. She’s supposed to reunite with him and help him.

 And yet the Duel continues on without her, card after card sent to the Graveyard, Life Point after Life Point lost. Her “other self” has resorted to continuously bringing Monsters back from the dead to slap parasites on them, despite being unable to actually get a let up on Kurosaki despite having the upper hand in terms of cards on the field. He’s using all of his tools, constantly switching gears.

“You cheat,” that voice says. “You can’t beat me all on your own, can you!”

Kurosaki doesn’t reply, doesn’t even look like he’s hearing her.

“Action Magic: Miracle.” He smirks. “You could use them too, if you weren’t a coward.”

“You’re the coward, using you Lancers’ precious cards. You’re only delaying your oh so pathetic demise, Xyz remnant.”

To her surprise, even if it feels like it shouldn’t be anymore, Kurosaki chuckles at that.

“Oh, yeah, you’re definitely not there. The Serena I know wouldn’t say crap like this.”

“You don’t know me.”

“Obviously.”

 The other her destroys Kurosaki’s field with Magic, builds its side with more parasites, all summoned in various ways her dizzied mind can’t keep up with. The Queen squirms, ever so content with the suffering on the field, and she has to watch the one person she’s gotten attached to pay the price for what’s absolutely, by now and without question, her own rash decision making. She was made prisoner and now tortures other people.

She wouldn’t have wanted to put anyone through this to begin with, let alone him. No, of course Kurosaki isn’t the only friend she’s made along the way (that’d erase Yuzu, and Tsukikage, and Yugo…), but she’d lie if she said they hadn’t gotten strangely close to each other, the Xyz renegade and the former golden child of Academia turned against them. The groomed soldier and the one who had to become one to survive. It’s awful, it makes all too much sense.

 Another turn ended and he’s back to kneeling on the ground, hanging on by a thin thread of 200 LP.

“Oh-oh, having trouble standing up now, are we?”

“Shut it.”

“Hmph, I see you’re as unpleasant to talk to as always. You build yourself up so much yet struggle to do anything of substance once confronted. How does it feel, to be so useless, in the end? To be so powerless in the face of adversity?”

Kurosaki doesn’t respond, once more, only getting back to his feet.

“Tch. I set one face-down card and end my turn.”

 Serena’s heart skips a beat when she sees what card it is, as brief as it is. The name is blurry, so is the picture, but the chuckle of self-satisfaction that escapes her is enough to be weary of what’s about to happen; and if that wasn’t enough, then knowing it’ll absolutely decimate both of their fields but at the cost of his LP first would do more than the job.

She has one turn to get control of her body back, if not less. It’s a Magic card, so it has less chance to be activated on Kurosaki’s turn, but it’s not enough reassurance in this game of minds and prediction. If she doesn’t do something before it’s too late, he’ll suffer the consequences; and that she simply cannot let happen. He’s already struggling to breathe as is.

 “I activate from my hand Rank-Up Magic, Absorbing Soul Force. I pay half my Life Points to Special Summon Rise Falcon back to my field.”

“Then I’ll just destroy it again! You can’t win!”

“Shut up, I’m not finished. I Overlay Rise Raptor as Xyz material to summon two Ranks above its four.”

“Oh, of course, you Xyz users can’t get enough of your stupid Ranks. Come at me, I’ll just bury it six feet underground if need be!”

“Prideful falcon, spread your wings dyed in the blood of heroes, advance through the path of revolution! Xyz Summon, come forth! Rank Six, Raidraptor Revolution Falcon!”

“What’s the difference between that and the previous one? None, they’re all scum! Low filth of the Earth!”

Oh, a lot, but she’d rather let Kurosaki explain – who remains unfazed, if silently furious.

“I activate Revolution Falcon’s effect. By using one Overlay Unit, it can attack all of my opponents’ Monsters, once each.”

“Its Attack is inferior to Parasite Queen’s! Are you birdbrained?!”

Is he going to pull off the same thing he did back then?

“When this monster battles one that was Specially Summoned, that monster’s Attack and Defence become zero!”

But it scoffs and laughs, oh so amused by what’s in front of it, and she won’t have it let have its way. She’s putting an end to this battle that wasn’t meant to be now, no matter what. She’ll get back in control, at long last.

“Too bad for you, I’m ready! I activate—”

If she doesn’t do anything, this is going to be the bitter end—

No, I won’t let you!

“It’s over!” Serena screams with her own voice, finally, back in her body. All she has to do now is to…

Give it back to me!!

The pain is searing and it’s hard to think clearly, but one though is strong enough to pierce through it all.

“I’m not going to let you take over!”

“Serena?!”

She rises her hear to see an obviously concerned Kurosaki.

“Do it!” She yells at him, about to throw her own cards to the ground. “Finish this off!”

The voice screeches and burns inside his mind, claws its way out of a bottomless pit, everything burns burns burns.

He nods, takes a breath, and screams, “Revolution Air Raid!”

 And like it did the first time they saw each other, exchanged what could barely qualify as words, bombs explode to destroy their common enemy. Every single parasite on her field disappears in a blaze, the sky turns white. She almost loses consciousness, doesn’t withstand the knockback of the wind; but gets up soon enough, ignoring tremors in her legs, to at least realize something has moved inside her head.

She can’t quite worry over that yet however, because as soon as Cross-Over disappears, he falls to his knees.

 As if she hadn’t spent so long in her own pain, she rushes to his side, legs lighter than a feather. She doesn’t catch him per say, but decides to support him, concern tainting her every thought. From up close and through her own eyes, it’s evident that he’s taken quite the beating, a bruise already blossoming on the side of his neck and leftover hints of half-healed injuries speckle the few parts of his skin he leaves visible.

“Are you okay?” She asks, frantic, afraid she’ll lose him again.

Kurosaki doesn’t reply, exacerbating her pulse, but she soon feels something getting pulled from her ear. To her shock and disgust alike, through another dizzy spell, she watches him splatter an enormous bug under the sole of his shoe.

“You’re back, Serena?” He asks, his voice even raspier than it was before.

“Y-yeah. I was… controlled by that thing, wasn’t I…?”

“I think so, yeah. Scared the shit outta me.”

 She too has trouble getting her breath back, but before she loses all strength, she drags the both of them to lean against the nearby wall. Exhaustion is sitting heavy on her limbs, despite an urge to keep on – and she can only guess Kurosaki, because he’s struggling to get up yet trying so hard to, is feeling the same.

It’s always been difficult to know what he thinks, because he’s so quiet, so closed-off and so off-limits to everyone but two people he hasn’t found again yet. What is even going through his mind, right now?

Wait, did he just say he was scared?

 “You didn’t seem like it, though… Scared, I mean.”

“Only when you pushed me off the edge. After that, I was just focused on getting you back.”

His voice is gravely, his head is lulling on his shoulder, and it’s all too close to her, too warm, too welcoming. They’re soldiers in the jaw of the enemy, goddammit, is she this tired—

“Why didn’t you give up on me? I almost killed you, Kurosaki.”

He gives her one long, tired stare.

“You weren’t yourself.” He looks to the side next. “I wasn’t going to lose someone else again.”

“Am I really this important to you…?”

“What do you think the answer to that is?”

Dumb question… but it’s such a hard thing to believe. God, he surely sees her as his sister, or as a placeholder for her until Ruri is safe and sound again, that’s got to be it. She isn’t naïve enough not to know that now, that the world has never revolved around her and especially not his. (If only it didn’t hurt to think about).

“It’s hard to know, with you. I was your enemy at some point. You hate Fusion.”

“You’re not responsible for my homeland’s destruction, nor for Ruri’s disappearance. That doesn’t matter anymore.” He smiles a little, sends her back to flutter. “Plus, you did save me before. I was only paying you back so I don’t owe a debt.”

“We’ve talked about that, didn’t we? I was only seeking you for my own selfish gain. I said awful things to you, parading them as truth. I wasn’t exactly doing you a favour.”

He frows so, so deeply.

“Can’t you accept that I give a shit about you, or do I need to break a rib again?”

 Her blood immediately ices over, adrenaline replacing it shortly thereafter.

“Did I break something?!”

“I don’t know,” he says with an undignified uncertainty that doesn’t sound like him and stabs her as a result. “It’s not like I was in that good of a shape before coming here.”

Right, the debris, the rushed recovery process, the turmoil of questions never answered… No rest, all stress. It’s taken its toll on all of them.

“I’m sorry. It’s my fault if you’re in that state.”

“Skip the apology. I don’t want to hear it.”

“If I had been stronger, I wouldn’t have been infected by that… parasite.”

Vague memories she wants to ignore of a crazed man inserting something inside her mind, shivers that follow. It only ends when she feels pulled to him.

“I’m just glad you’re not gone.”

She nuzzles closer, for a moment uncaring of the dimensions, the Professor, the Lancers – all that matters is that they now breath together, that she doesn’t hurt him anymore, that they’re companions once more. It’s selfish. It’s insane. It’s easy.

“I’m relieved to see you again,” is all she replies. “We should… get going, though, shouldn’t we?”

“We should, yeah.”

She gets up, still dizzy and dazed, but nonetheless stable enough to give him her hand with a smile of her own. To her relief and joy alike, he gives it back to her as he takes it, gets to his own feet… and tilts forward just enough for her to catch him in her arms. If their worlds weren’t at stake, at the moment, she’d have relished in it, or let herself get overwhelmed by so much touch, so much closeness.

“I’ll support you,” she says, unsure of the extent to which she means it.

“I guess it’s fine, if it’s you.”

 She doesn’t comment on it, yet in silence can barely contain all of the thoughts that dance through her mind. Instead, like the level-headed companion she wants to be, she pushes that aside and focuses on the way his arm sits on her shoulder, of the one she has wrapped around his wrist, and not to aggravate his breathing. She can decide what to do with her feelings once everyone is safe and back home, when she won’t have to feel bad after a moment of reprieve. For now, they have a world to save.

And there’s nobody she wants to do it with more than the guy who’s just saved her.

[yohohonabottle]

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V

Morning comes, the sun's rays streaming in through the window as birds chirp and the bustle of town flows. However, the bright light shining right on his face, wasn't appreciated. Despite his years of strict training in the garrison and having been made to rise at the crack of dawn...Valen had never really been much of a morning person.

Contrary to his younger sister who's a lively ball of energy, ready to jump out of bed like a lark. Stirring with a discontented groan, he rolls onto his side, turning his back to the window. This, quickly proves to be ineffective as the sun still shines on his eyelids. Eventually the newlywed man gives up on trying to snooze for a little longer. 

No more beauty sleep for me it seems..

Eyes fluttering open, the knight sits up with a yawn and squints at his surroundings. Completely oblivious to last night's events. Catching sight of the body laying next to him with his periphery vision, memories surge up. The arranged marriage, the moment of passion and joining as one. Somehow it felt..odd. Like a lightning, realization strikes. Well that's...something. Doubt Pirin wanted it–The masterminds have drugged him with a potion prior to the wedding. Most likely. Scowling in thought, he finds his mind going back to the idea of the imminent future. The knowledge that he'll soon be a father.

The father of a child, or children, that are both human and vampire yet not fully one or the other. Caught up between two vastly different worlds. So much can go wrong. Not to mention-–Looking down at the Eclipse descendant sleeping without moving, the unsure scowl of mild unease melts away to one of fondness, affection. Or maybe it's just sympathy.

Can't believe I'm actually a married man now. 

And yet, there it is–-The simple golden ring innocently sitting on his finger. For everyone to see.

Strangely, the idea of taking it off doesn't so much as pop into his mind nor does the band feel heavy. Instead it's like it's a part of him, as much as the hoop earring on his left ear is and his sword.

Most describe marriage as a mistake, feeling regret once the euphoria and honeymoon ends and reality sets in. From there infidelity and bitter scandals rise until coming to a volatile breaking point, ending in divorce or resentful dissatisfaction and a greater rift. However the general's right hand man finds no such regrets in his heart. 

Instead, there's a flutter of hopefulness and inquisitive buzz of anticipation. 

Which in on itself is a surprise to him, considering how vehemently he has avoided romance that goes beyond the superficial pleasantries. Maybe a one-night stand here and there, on the off-chance the person manages to really leave a mark and pique his interest...But it never went deeper than that or budded into a legitimate relationship, let alone blossomed into a union where their lives would tied together 'til death, possibly even beyond.

The gods know how long and numerous the lists of potential suitors are, both men and women, stretching as far the eye can see. None of which genuinely captured his mind, heart or attention. A playboy by nature, sticking it out until the fun runs out.

The closest anyone has got to making him melt and desperately wanting, instead of the other way round, is Merlin.

And now this nightly creature that is likely as old as the Magister.

The former has always turned down his invites to dinner, or evaded him at every turn like smoke. The latter...stands as a question mark. A question mark that Valen finds himself wanting to unravel even more now. 

I should let him rest. Glancing up at his writing desk in thought, the idea of slidding out of bed and leaving a note flickers in his mind. It gets shooed off easily, veto-d without hesitantion. That would be cold. Waking up to an empty spot and a measly note of ‘hey I’ll be out on errands, bye! Be home later!’ Yeah, lovely. Turning back to the slumbering figure curled up into a ball on the mattress, the captain leans down and presses his lips to his husband’s forehead, voice soothing and sweetly warm.

---”Vanya..” A small ‘groan’ meets him, muffled by the sheets. When did an affectionate smile crept its way to his mouth, Valen has honestly no idea or why a sense of content has settled in his heart. For gods’ sake! They literally hadn’t even had one dinner yet! ...And here he is, gazing upon the sleeping ‘nymph’ like a man shot by Cupid’s arrow. 

I wonder what he’s like without being skittish.. A spitfire or an imp? Sure has a ‘forked’ tongue. The absent musings flicker without even noticing, running a hand through the snowy silk fanned out like flames, rousing the other from sleep.

—“..Ive..” The pale eyes flutter open slowly, blinking up in disorientation before landing on him, hair messy, eyes squinted and voice rough with sleep—Surprisingly so.

—“Valen..?”

—“Good morning, my darling.” The Pallid covenant pinches his eyes in a slow blink and lets his chin ‘flop’ on the bed, mumbling a slurred ‘morn..inh.’ then forces himself to sit up. Or more like prop himself on an elbow and rub his eye with a hand before blinking to fully clear his vision. Cute. Slipping out of bed and onto his feet, the wavy-haired knight pads over to where the pile of haphazardly discarded clothes sit on the floor, picking up his trousers and other garments, and sets them at the foot of the mattress. Dressing up without hurry, he carries on speaking, sneaking glances up at his spouse as he does.

“I have some work today and won’t be home until later in the afternoon. I’ll leave you a spare key on the desk, feel free to look around.”

“mm.”

Not bothering to close the collar of his shirt, he only opts for buttoning up the gambeson and fixes up the bird-motif waist belt. “Or you could stop by to say hi at the tavern or office, if staying home isn’t your cup of tea..” Very nice Valen. Very smooth. Just don’t run your big mouth. “I wouldn’t mind—“ Okay now I’m rambling. Slowly, the groggy vampire slides from under the covers, and Valen’s gaze flickers to his nude form involuntarily before he hurries to look away, fetching his cape and putting it on, fiddling with the straps of his armor and belt, then the leather wrappings.

I might have to take a detour to the Gold Rose or Anna’s cloth-shop…

—“good luck..” Still so sleepy, like the man is half-sleep or sleepwalking. And then cold lips press to his cheek, on his scar, for barely a second. Feather-light, but it’s enough to make him halt, caught off-guard by the gesture. Blinking and turning his head to look his arranged spouse, the Solitaire is greeted by a sleepy smile of something akin to affection. Yup, definitely not awake, pulling the dress on without a single thought or worry as if in a dream. The sight is both amusing, oddly endearing and concerning. An excerpt from one of the tomes in the library’s forgotten corner resurfaces to his mind while observing Pirin’s current state—

"During the daytime, night nymphs fall asleep and their senses dull greatly save for touch. Those who wake up are inadequate in movements and behavior due to their brain still being shut down, giving them a very cursory consciousness enough to be vaguely aware of their surroundings yet not cohesive nor alert. The best example an awake vampire during the day can be equated to are sleep-walkers or lobotomy patients. With only slightly more awareness instead of fully asleep."

—Is it even wise leaving him like this? Shambling about like a corpse brought to life halfway, with zero idea of what he’s even doing? This is...kind of scary, being reduced to-I don’t know how to label or describe this state honestly, brain-dead I guess. Incredibly vulnerable and easy to get hurt. All that wit and grace- out the window. Sauntering to the sleep-walker, the light-armored solder easily catches up and gently catches Pirin before the shorter man smacks right into the wardrobe.

—“Let’s..get you back to bed. You look like you haven’t slept for days.” With those unseeing droopy eyes and sleepy smile, a simple remark tumbles out his wife’s mouth.

—“A while- yes. Haven’t since was a kid, haha.” Valen freezes up, staring at the vampire with a very much baffled, shocked and worried scowl on his brow. As though having been struck by a lightning. Blinks twice, slowly moves, resumes helping the other get back under the covers.

“...What?” ‘Since I was a kid’?? You’re telling me—You’ve been running around, without a wink of sleep, for a century?! For a hundred-fifty-one years- I- How are you even functioning?! 

—“Aren’t you supposed to be asleep during the day- How have you been awake all this time?” The gut-punches keep coming, blurted out innocently with no filter.

—“Potions. Good potions...” Snuggling up under the sheets, Pirin keeps babbling, and Valen remains still, listening. Each word to fall out those thin lips, makes the knight grow more and more apprehensive. His mind struggles to grapple with the information, swiftly adding it onto the compilation of mental notes he’d been taking. And already doesn’t like the grim picture that reveals itself, puzzled piece by piece.

And how, woefully, underprepared he is for it.

“Make me think danger..” His head lolls on the pillow and yawns, revealing his sharp fangs. Most teeth look human, except the ones closer to the back are sharper-- like little pointy blades. Some on the lower jaw are also either not fully human-like or are entirely bat-like. “Don’ need times.. bad dreams keep, too. Often…” Insomnia, sleep deprivation, trauma and nightmares, abuse, drug-addiction, constant state of high-stress and adrenaline… Probably the list goes longer.

Dura above…

Yet the sweet, sleepy, tired smile of happy content still plays on the nymph’s lips. The last words murmured, slurred softly, almost with childish innocence, make the knight’s heart clench.

“ ‘S okay tho.. ‘M ‘kay.”

And then those unfocused eyes droop shut, weighted by exhaustion. Leaving his husband with many thoughts.

[fairydust-stuff]

Black Lagoon & Banana Fish crossover: Fuck Dino

Five minutes later and he’s being dragged by those stupid ropes which that horrible slut moved to his neck. The sour bitch as Ash calls her still has Ibe at gun point. As they enter Yut Lung’s sitting room in his manor. 

Yut Lung gapes as Ash is thrown at his feet. 

“ Here you go tramp stamp” says the girl. 

“ You actually caught him” 

 “ Bastard!” Ash lunges for his throat only for the Asian women to yank the ropes causing him to gasp for air. 

“ Shenhua!” Yut Lung yelled. 

“ I get job?” 

“ Yes, please stop choking Ash” 

The women Shenhau looses the ropes on Ash. 

“ B…itch…” he coughs 

“ Your injured” Yut Lung touches Ash’;s shoulder, he  slaps those hands away  “ Don’t touch me you bastard!” 

“ I just want to see if there’s a bullet” 

Revy keeps her gun trained on Ibe as Yut Lung tends to Ash’s shoulder. 

“  Are you a doctor?” said a voice as a japanese man in a business suit enters the room. 

“ Acupuncturist and chinese medicine, I know the human body inside and out. That includes how to repair it” 

“ You bastard when you gave me Shorters and Griffins Killer, I thought you might be on my side!” Ash dives for him again only for the Japanese guy to whisk Yut Lung behind him and take Ash’s punch in the gut. 

“ Rock?”  Yut Lung cries out in surprise. 

 Revy slambed Ash into the wall hard with her good arm, her face isn’t wearing the grin from before her eyes are completely cold. He suddenly realizes how\ he looks to other people. Are his eyes really so devoid of humanity? The eyes of a wild beast baldy had said hungrily. He can see nothing in her eyes but the intent to draw his blood. 

Who is this girl? 

“ Revy, I’m fine” Rock reassures her getting up  “ See only bruised” he lifts up his shirt to reveal vague grey spots. 

“ Hey Tramp stamp lock this asshole up, before I loose my shit” Revy said seemingly to snap out of her homicidal rage. 

“ Of course Shenhau please restain the Lynx, I have chains in the Basement” 

“ Keeping him live dangerous” the women warned. 

“ I’ll write you both a bigger check, for your troubles” Yut Lung said. 

Shenhau still looks uncertain but she nods  and drags Ash off by his chains keeping enough distance between them with the ong length of chain so  he cann’t attack her. Dam this one is way smarter then his usual opponents. 

“ Hey Lynx cunt!” Revy snaps

“ What did you say to me bitch!” 

“ Try anything and you’ll be scraping your guy off the ceiling, after I blow him to hell” Revy shoves her gun aginst Ibe’s forehead. 

Ash nods reluctently  and Shenhau drags him off down into the basement

He intends  to attack her the moment she takes off the ropes only for her to pin him to the wall with a throwing knife by thrusting it though his sleeve before his can move. . 

“ We from Roanapur, we not like little boys and old men you get off shooting” Shenhua said her eyes narrowed. “ I not care what boss say, you try and it go in heart, motherfucker” she taunts before bringing out a pair of thick chains. 

Then it finally dawns on Ash he might be completely fucked!...

“ I don’t like this, that Ash kid is like a dog with fucking rabies” Revy declared. 

Rock secretly agrees. 

After Ibe has been locked away by Yut Lung’s guards and Ash chained up in his prison cell they’ve both been on edge. Shenhua didn’t seem much better, the usually perky assassin had seemed a bit less cheerful and had taken to guarding Ash’s cell. 

“ Your shoulder” Yut Lung remarked  “ Please,  Come here, i’ll pop it back into place” 

Revy looks wary. 

“ You won’t be any use if you cann’t use both arms” the boy adds. 

She reluctantly does so and Yut Lung places his hand on certain parts of her arm after feeling around the area then he takes both hands and shoves. 

Revy blinks at him “ That surprisingly didn’t hurt as much as I thought” 

“ I cann’t exactly go to a public hospital, I do have a privite doctor for emergencies but he used to work for my brothers. I’d like to examine you as well to make sure there’s no internal bleeding”  he said to Rock. 

“ Your really good at this” 

“ Its just basic stuff, hardly anything that complicated,” Yut Lung said dismissively looking uncomfortable. “ I appologize but I’ll contact the old pervert tonight and have him transferred as soon as possible” 

Revy looked a bit disappointed. 

“ Gving Ash back to Golzine, puts you in the same category as someone who engages in human trafficking. Is that really the path you want to take?” Rock interjected 

“ You don’t understand those like Ash and I.  Someone as insignificant as that old pervert is barely a blip. In a long History of disgusting men. After a while it becomes less of a horror and something you endure “ 

“Bullshit  you cann’t accept Ash’s scars because then you’d have to deal with your own” Revy said casually. 

Yut Lung smashes the glass against the wall fury on his face. 

“ I’m right aren’t I” 

“ Shut up!” 

“ You and Ash are two dumb fucking kids who got traded around and fucked  by a bunch of limp dick perverts. Other then that you have nothing else in common. So projecting some huge connection…..is just a waste of your God Dam time. Because to Ash your no different then the dozens of other kids who’s blood he waded though to get where he is.” 

“ Ash never….” Yut lung’s tone is defensive. 

“ Killed them himself or ignored the other child whores….its all  the fucking same. He went straight to the top. Your so far at the bottom he won’t even bother wiping your piss off his shoes.” 

Yut Lung turns and runs out of the room looking distrought. 

“ That was kinda harsh even for you” Rock remarks. 

“If he gets any advantage, this mansion will become a fucking blood bath and not one of us will be getting out of here alive. Unless we take him out first.  This little prince has blinded himself to the truth.” 

“ What if I talked to Ash” 

“ Wouldn’t matter, guys like Ash they think their gods gift. You should of seen how shocked he was. That Clinglish and I got the drop on him. He’ll probably have some shit ass fancy excuse but the truth is with guys like that it all boils down to pride. Yut Lung is just the weaker version of him, so Ash has to crush him and us anything and anyone that ever made him feel helpless…..so he’ll never feel like that again”  

Rock sits there thoughtfully. 

“ Fuck that idolt Dino will never be able to hold his ass! He couldn’t do it the first two times!” Revy ranted…

[lcahwriter]

Running (Part 2)

Pairing: Bradley 'Rooster' Bradshaw x fem!reader (non descriptive)

Word count: 7.2k

Link to PART 1 Link to PART 3

TW: Anxiety, swearing, past abuse, stalking, mentions of sex but no actual sex.

Summary: You ran across the country to the place you knew you’d be the safest- with Maverick on a Navy base somewhere in California. Your plan was to lay low until the coast was clear - but then you met Bradley Bradshaw.

Will you be able to escape the man who was determined to find you? Will you be able to keep Bradley safe? To fall in love again?

Authors note: I’m so damn happy people have enjoyed this series so far. Its been a joy to write. Thank you!

********************************************************

It wasn’t until 10am that your eyes tiredly opened. You slept like a fucking rock- which surprised you considering how much was on your mind last night. You stared up at the white ceiling, hoping that the weight in your chest would dissipate.  

The conversation you had with Bradley was gnawing at you. You couldn’t help but think that maybe Bradley didn’t want to know everything you’d shared. What if you had completely freaked him out?

Maybe it would’ve been better if you were running from a toxic job or a crazy family- But of course you had to be hiding from an Ex that was threatening to hunt you down and kill you.

How fucking dramatic.

You groaned and crossed your hands over your chest. You were going to dinner with Bradley Bradshaw tonight. Was it a date? He hadn’t exactly said it was a date- but it was obvious he wasn’t just trying to be friends.

Your stomach twisted and turned at the thought of falling for him. You wouldn’t let yourself fall for him- not yet. You had to keep Bradley safe from whatever the hell your life was. Matters had to resolve with Tim before you could let yourself truly start with Bradley. It was only fair to him.

All of that aside you realized that you needed to be honest with yourself. You thought Bradley was fucking hot. And you thought it was admirable that he didn’t run from you even though your circumstances were uncalled for. It made your heart flutter thinking about his promise.

“I will never let that son of a bitch hurt you again.”

He was going to drive you nuts with the number of times those words were popping into your thoughts. You rubbed your eyes, thinking about the lecture Mav was going to give you for sleeping in so late.

You knew you had to tell Maverick what was going on with Bradley. You told him everything since you moved in, and you didn’t want to start hiding things from him now.

You let out a big yawn and stretched your body from your arms to your toes. It was, unfortunately, time to wake up. You slipped on your sweatpants that were lying on the ground but kept on the t-shirt you had slept in and made your way down the narrow staircase.

Maverick was sitting at the small kitchen table reading a thick book. He had a cup of coffee next to him and he looked completely dressed for the day. Just as you had expected.

“I’ll make breakfast.” You said with a small smile on your face. You wandered into the tiny kitchen. You could barely fit two people in the small space. You opened the fridge and searched for something to cook for the both of you.

“I’ve been awake since 5 AM. It’s practically time for lunch”

You peeked your head from behind the fridge doors and stuck your tongue out at him.

“Don’t act like you’re better than me for waking up at the butt crack of dawn.”

You grabbed eggs, bread and bacon and brought them to the minimal counter space available.

“Waking up early is good for you.” He defended himself. You just shook your head at him.

“Well, I’ll make you some toast anyways. No one can refuse buttery toast.” You said in an exacerbated voice.

Maverick gave up his “no breakfast” fight and went back to reading the book that was held tightly between his hands. You smiled softly at him from a distance. You owed him so much. He didn’t have to take you in, but he did. He also didn’t have to help pay for your private investigator – but he had insisted.

“I noticed your car wasn’t here this morning.” He said, without even looking up from his damn book.

Well shit.

“Yeah…I was going to fill you in on that.”

You slid a plate full of toast to him while you sat down across the table with your own plate full of food. You chowed down on a piece of bacon before speaking.

“I had a panic attack at work last night.” You weren’t ashamed of telling him, Mav had seen you have one before and he understood what it was like. He also knew that you’d been working on managing them with therapy ever since you moved.

He looked at you with worried eyes but nodded in response.

“Besides the amount of embarrassment I created, I’m fine.” You took a bite of your toast and avoided eye contact with Mav. “Bradley drove me home.”

Maverick’s eyes perked up with that. You could tell he was trying not to have a reaction, but he was failing miserably. He looked happy but mostly surprised. You took a big breath in.

“And… He’s taking me out for dinner tonight.”

“What?” He coughed back a choke while trying to swallow his toast. “I mean… um that’s nice of him.” You could tell Mav was internally freaking out on what to say. As much as he was a father to you, anything to do with you and going out with men made him flustered.

You laughed at his response and took another bite of toast.

“It’s not a date.” You said very unconfidently. “Well, it might be, I’m not sure- But he knows that I’m not ready for anything serious. He just enjoys my company I guess.” It was the best way you could describe why you were going to dinner with him tonight.

“I’m glad you two are getting along.” Mav said very awkwardly. You laughed at him again.

“Wow, that is the most awkward- dad response I could have thought of.” He chuckled and sat back in his chair.

“Does he know about Tim?” You knew that question was coming, but it still stung. You wished that Tim didn’t have to be in the same sentence as Bradley ever. You wished that Tim didn’t exist at all and that Bradley could take you out to dinner with no looming reason not to.

“He knows. Not everything, but he knows”. You bit on your lip. “I thought he would be freaked out when I told him, but he seemed like he was just pissed.”

Maverick chuckled.

“Sounds like Bradshaw. He’s a hothead when it comes to protecting people he cares about.” You decided to ignore the part about Bradley caring about you. I mean he hardly fucking knew you.

“I don’t even know if it’s anything.” You said assuredly. “I just didn’t want to hide it from you.”

Mav smiled in appreciation. You two had inevitably grown closer in the last few months. You were thankful for him, if it wasn’t for him, you weren’t sure if you’d even be alive.

“Thanks for telling me.” Mav stood up to put his plate in the sink. “And by the way, if he asked you out to dinner it’s definitely a date.”

This time you were the one choking on the toast. You coughed loudly and you could hear Mav snickering.

“Fuck.” You said as nervousness grew in your stomach.

“What am I even supposed to wear?” You whined, crossing your arms over your chest. Maverick put his hands up in surrender.

“I am definitely not the person to ask for that one.”

He sat back down at the table and opened his book, seemingly done with the conversation.

You finished your breakfast in a few minutes.  The feeling of uneasiness and uncertainty still rippled within you. You hated to annoy Maverick, but you had no one else to confide in.

“Do you think this is a good idea Mav?” You shook your head and sat back. “What if somehow Tim finds out I went out with him? Even if we are just friends, he would kill him.” Your heart grew heavy instantly. You pictured Bradley’s sweet brown eyes and soft smile. If anything happened to him because of you…. You would never be able to forgive yourself.

“John will give us a heads up if he starts to head out this way.” Maverick said it like he was reassuring both you and him.

“I just want to make sure that he’s safe.” Maverick gave you a small smile.

“He can take care of himself. And I know he’ll keep you safe too.” Maverick set the book down. “Tim’s not going to get to you again. There’s no way I’ll let that happen.”

You gave a small nod. You decided you were tired of talking about Tim. He really didn’t fucking deserve the attention.

“Bradley’s picking me up at 5.” You stood up and took your plate to the sink. “He wants to go to that BBQ place on the base.”

Mav nodded and put his hands behind his head.

“So dress casual then.” He said shrugging.

“Well, no shit.” You rubbed your eyes again. “That still doesn’t help with exactly what I should wear.”

Mav narrowed his eyes at you and looked over your current outfit. Which was a large ratty t-shirt and stained sweatpants.

“Definitely don’t wear whatever you’re wearing right now.” He was trying to hold in a stupid giggle while you rolled your eyes and flipped him off.  

“I’m going to go shower. Please don’t be here when he shows up. Or at least don’t make it weird.” You begged.

“I’m taking Penny out tonight.” He said in response. His eyes lit up when he said her name. You couldn’t help but grin at him.

“Hmmm sailing I bet.”

Maverick glared at you before you ran up the stairs.

“Have fun!” You yelled with a smile on your face. You were happy for him finding love again.

You wondered if you would be next to find it.

******************************************************

“Flowers?”

You squeaked out, while coming face to face with a beautiful bouquet of daisies. You looked past the flowers to see Bradley grinning ear to ear.

You don’t think you’ve ever seen him so pleased with himself. He was wearing a white short sleeve button down and blue jeans that hugged his legs perfectly. Maverick had been right about dressing casually. You had decided on jeans and a baby blue tank top that complemented your figure.

“What? You thought I was going to show up to our first date empty handed?” Your eyes grew wide at the mention of date. You knew your cheeks had to be burning red through your makeup.

You didn’t know what else to do besides grab the flowers awkwardly. You prayed to god that you didn’t look as nervous as you felt.

“Thank you- I’ll just set them in a vase real quick and then we can go.” You turned around and you felt Bradley follow behind you. There was no way Maverick had a vase lying around so you just ended up grabbing the largest cup you could find.

“You cleaned up the place a little bit didn’t you?” Bradley was looking around with a small smile on his face. “The last time I was here it looked like shit.”

You were really trying to focus on what he was saying but your mind hadn’t stopped racing. He was so unashamedly showing you affection. You were not prepared for this.

“Yeah, I made sure that his place was at least habitable.” You joked softly. “And I’ve made sure that Mav hasn’t been eating protein bars for every meal.”

You gave Bradley a knowing look and set the flowers in a large glass on the counter. They made your heart flutter with something you couldn’t quite describe.

You walked around the small kitchen counter. Bradley was staring and he was not trying to hide it.

“You look beautiful.” His voice sounded slightly gruffer than before. You bit your lip and your heart beat up even faster than it had before.

“Jesus Bradshaw, you’re going to make me pass out from nervousness if you keep on flirting with me like this.” You gave him a small smile and backed up against the counter to ground yourself.

He looked impressed with himself, and he held out his hand for you to grab.

“No need to be nervous sweetheart.” You gave him wide eyes once again. You hesitated to reach out to and connect your hand to his. He was sure getting comfortable with calling you sweetheart.

All the hesitancy you felt was flooding into your brain at once. You really weren’t expecting him to be so blatant with his interest in you. His grin faltered when you didn’t immediately hold his hand.

“Are you sure about this?” You ask. “I know it’s just a date but after everything I told you last night-” He cut you off before you could finish.

“I’m sure.” His honey-colored eyes looked at yours again. “I promise.”

Fuck. It was hard to say no to that.

You nodded and grabbed his hand despite all the alarms in your brain telling you that spending time with Bradley was a bad idea. He smiled and led you out the front door. The afternoon breeze was comforting as soon as it swept across your cheeks. You snuck a glance at Bradley who just looked so damn good.

You weren’t surprised when he jogged Infront of you to open the car door.

“How proper.” You teased him as you climbed in.

“I’m not always this proper sweetheart.” He gave you a wink and shut the door.  You tried not to imagine what in the hell he meant by that.

Fuck, he was literally the most gorgeous thing you’ve ever laid your eyes on. It was going to be impossible to focus.

Bradley slid into the driver’s side and gave you a smile before pulling out of the driveway.  You buckled your seat belt and relaxed.

******************************************************

The restaurant was a popular spot-on base, Maverick had brought you a few times in the past. It was small but still bustling with people. You thanked your lucky stars he brought you somewhere casual and not an expensive restaurant.

The attraction between you and Bradley was becoming evident. Your legs were brushing against his while you chatted in a small booth.

“So how old are you?” You asked curiously. You had assumed he was near your age but honestly weren’t sure.

“33.” He responded. All you could think is that thirty-three looked fucking good on him.

“How old do you think I am?” You asked mischievously. Bradley’s eyes widened and then narrowed at you.

“I feel like this is a set up.” You giggled in response. Deciding to save him the embarrassment of guessing wrong, you told him your age.

“28. Birthdays in a few months.” You were hoping he would be happy with your age, and not run the other way to look for someone younger. Because you knew for a fact any woman would throw themselves at him if he asked. Twenty-eight was hardly old – but you weren’t getting any younger.

You shook your insecurities away and gazed up at Bradley. He was smiling at you.

“You know, I still don’t know what you did for work before you moved here.” You both skimmed over the fact that you didn’t move here – you escaped here.

“I’m a kindergarten teacher. I’ve been teaching for five years now.” Your heart both warmed and ached thinking about the students you left behind. You missed them so much.

“I’d love to get back to it, you know when things settle down.”

You hoped Bradley was impressed with your response. He was one of the best pilots in the nation and you were just a measly kindergarten teacher who will probably always make a below- average salary.

“That’s amazing.” Bradley said with a strong smile. You noticed a spark of adoration in his eyes. “I love kids. Not sure how I would do managing 20 at a time though.”

You tried not to melt into a puddle right then and there, because of course he loved kids.

“I think you’d do just fine.” You imagined him in a classroom full of kids.

Oh yeah, it was a bad idea to go down that road right now.

“You know, playing bartender has been fun though. I’m pretty sure I make double what I made as a kindergarten teacher. Plus I met you, a man with no concern for his own safety.” You were teasing him, but you knew he could take it.

Bradley rolled his eyes and sat back against the booth. He took a swig of his ice water and licked his lips.

“Can’t hurt steel baby”. You rolled your eyes at him. He had never called you baby before, but fuck, you could get used to that.  Being with him was so fucking effortless. You’d never experienced anything like it.

“Why’s it so easy with you?” You let out a breath and looked up into his eyes with wonder. He looked surprised for a split second.

“I don’t know.” He admitted to you softly. “But I don’t think we have to know why.”

You admired him for the way he spoke and calmed you. His optimism was something you craved, no- needed, right now. You changed the subject before your thoughts lingered further.

“So, what’s flying to you? You haven’t talked about it much.” You really were curious to know. If he was anything like Mav then being a pilot was an innate part of him.

“It’s everything.” He said, his eyes glazed over like he was in a different world. “My dad died in a flying accident.”

You nodded. You’d known that already just by being close to Mav.

“I joined because I wanted to be like my dad.” He had a small smile on his face. “I wanted to make him proud. To let his legacy, live on, you know?”

You nodded again.

“You’ve made him proud. I’m sure of it.” And you were. You knew Bradley’s father was a kind man. And any father would be proud to have a son like him.

“Do you want to be in the Navy forever?” You tentatively asked. Bradley’s sweet eyes looked deep in thought. You waited for his answer.

“I’ll finish out my 20 years with the Navy. I joined at 18 so I’ll be done soon.” He took a big breath and leaned his elbows over the table.

“I’ve thought about staying in for longer. I think my dad might have.” He said, his voice was still curious. “After this past Top Gun mission though- I um” He cleared his throat. “I really thought I was going to die and have no one to mourn me.”

Your heart ached at his words. I would mourn you now. Now that I know you. Is what you wanted to say. But you kept quiet.

“I don’t want to be like Maverick and not be able to settle down. Not have anyone to come home to.” He rubbed the back of his neck with one hand aimlessly. “I’ve never even had a dog.” He said sadly. “I mean how depressing is that? I’ve always wanted one, but I’ve never been in the same place long enough to have one.”

Your eyes met his and you were feeling all the sadness in the world for him. Loneliness was radiating off him.

“Maybe it’s time to focus on what you want.” You said softly.

“Don’t stay stuff like that. I’ll end up at the animal shelter with five dogs in no time.” He smirked and you were grateful to see his mood lifted slightly. You’d rather get punched in the gut than see him upset.

“You like the beach?” He asked, his fingers twiddling together. You realized that Bradley didn’t like to sit still for long. He was always touching or fiddling with something. Your leg included. His foot brushed up your calf softly.

“I love it.” You replied. “But I’m a shit swimmer.”

“Well, I’m thinking a nice long romantic walk on the beach. No swimming involved.”

You blushed at his flirtatious comment. You wondered if you would ever stop getting flustered by him. The idea of getting used to him flattering you seemed impossible. Bradley stood up and stretched his arms high.

“Whoa, are you trying to dine and dash?” You were joking, but also confused on why he was standing to leave when the waiter hadn’t even brought the check over.

“I knew you’d put up a fight to pay. So I gave them my card ahead of time.” His cheeks were a little red and your heart fluttered. He knew you too well apparently, because you had planned to pay for at least half.

“Well, thank you. I’ll buy next time.”

He smirked in response, basically giving you the look of “Yeah that’s not going to happen”.

Your mind wandered to the last first date you went on. It had been with Tim three years ago now. You were so young and excited. You wished you could warn your younger self to run like hell the other way.

Everything with Bradley was so vastly different than what you experienced the last few years. The way he talked, walked, touched you…

You were fucking terrified. But the electricity that ran through your veins when you were with him was too tempting to say no to. Running from Bradley didn’t seem like an option.

*********************************************************

“It looks a little windy out there, do you want my jacket just in case?” Bradley asked thoughtfully.

You were parked in a beach parking lot looking out at the waves. It was breathtaking. The sun was about to set, streaks of pink and purple were painted in the sky. But the views of the water weren’t easing the anxiety you felt.

“Sure, I’ll take it just in case.” You cringed at how shaky your voice was. You weren’t nervous about him giving you his jacket – more like you couldn’t stop imagining terror filled scenarios on the beach. Bradley seemed to notice, and you watched his smile turn into a frown.

“If you want to go home, I understand.” He said with a strained voice. You could practically feel the insecurity radiating from him. It was the first time all night he was anything but confident. He was probably figuring you didn’t want to spend more time with him, which was the furthest thing from the truth.

“No please don’t.” You hesitated and ran your hand through your hair. “I honestly just haven’t been this far from the base since I moved. It feels weird.” You were lying about that part. It didn’t feel weird, it felt scary as fuck. You had been unsafe for so long and then you moved to the base, where you felt incredibly safe. Leaving it felt venerable.

“I’ve got you sweetheart.” He reached over for your hand. You gladly let him hold it. The same safety you felt every time you held his hand washed over you.

“I know its silly. I just feel safe there.” His warm eyes locked to yours.

“It’s not silly. It makes sense.” He rubbed your hand gently. “We can go back to one of the beaches on the base.” He offered. It blew you away that he wasn’t angry with you. That he wasn’t freaking out over having to drive you here – only for you to hesitate to get out of the damn car. You fucking hated Tim more every minute.

“No. I know I’ll be okay with you.” You said. You meant it too. You knew that if you were in danger Bradley wouldn’t hesitate to take whatever that danger was away. It was the kind of man he was.

Confidence began to grow in you. You gave his hand a squeeze.

“Race you to the water.” You smirked. His eyes went wide and before he could even say a word you were out the door. Giggles erupted from you as you ran as hard as you could towards the water.

Your sandals were slowing you down God damnit! You slipped them off mid run and looked over your shoulder.

Bradley was just feet away from you, with a big smile on his face. He had thrown his shoes off too. He was obviously just as competitive as you were.

“You’re slow as shit!” You yell loudly, speeding up and screeching when you felt the cold water on your feet.

Bradley reached the water seconds after you. He was panting and laughing at the same time.

“You cheated.” He exclaimed, shaking his head. You smirked at him.

“No excuses.” You retorted back between fits of laughter.  You couldn’t remember the last time you’d felt so childlike and free. It had been so damn long.

You both caught your breath for a moment before deciding to walk along the shore. Bradley rolled up his jeans and walked in the water while you walked beside him.

You reached for his hand, and he gladly opened it for you to hold. Your shoulders brushed into each other’s as you walked.

“It’s beautiful here.” You said, looking out at the waves and setting sun in the distance. The beach was not crowded. Only a few people here and there watching the sunset.

“It’s one of my favorites.” He said, a smile on his face.

“We’re going to have to practice your swimming skills if we keep coming here.” He said playfully. You groaned and trudged your feet.

“The ocean is pretty to look at. But swim in? Fucking terrifying.”

Bradley pondered what you said and twisted his lips.

“You know what. The ocean is kind of terrifying. BUT- it’s still fun.” He grinned. You scoffed at him.

“Sounds like what someone who flies a million feet in the air going a bajillion miles an hour for fun would say.” He laughed and stared up at the sky.

“Would you ever go up in a jet with me?” You looked up at him and melted. You didn’t think you could say no to those eyes ever.

“I would.” You said back. “But I’d probably vomit all over you.”

“How romantic.” He joked. His eyebrows wriggled like they always did when he flirted with you.

The pounding of footsteps behind you caused you to stiffen and grip his arm. Alarm bells went off in your brain which made you practically glue yourself to Bradley’s body. Bradley immediately moved you Infront of him, blocking you from the steps.

You felt air woosh past the side of you when you looked to realize the footsteps you heard were from an innocent jogger passing by.

You let out an embarrassed sigh and tried to let the anxiety within you die down.

You had thought maybe he’d found you.

“Sorry” you said, referencing the death grip you had on his arm. You let go and cringed at the amount of circulation you cut off from his arm. He moved away from you slightly, but he still towered over you protectively.

“You’re alright. Don’t worry about it.” He gave you a small smile, but you could tell by is eyes he was worried about you. You had both stopped walking- now just staring out at the water and the darkening sky. You leaned into Bradley’s shoulder, this time with no death grip.

“You wanna sit down?” You asked, gesturing to the dry sand a few feet away.

“Yes please.”

Bradley was first to sit in the sand while you clumsily plopped down next to him. You saw Bradley spread his feet apart and gesture towards the space between his legs.

You raised an eyebrow.

“You want me to sit there?” You asked nervously. You looked down at his lap and you really weren’t sure if you’d be able to control yourself sitting there.

“Yes, it’s the perfect sunset watching position.” He teased. His cocky side was showing, and you loved it. It reminded you to let loose every one and a while.

“Fine. But I’m not sitting in your lap, I’m sitting in the sand.” You said back to him before crawling over his leg- which felt more exposing than you realized it would.

I mean you were on all fours and you were bending over his damn lap.

You situated yourself between his legs. Your back pressed against his chest and your legs laid out in-between his long ones. His arms were sitting at his sides, and you could tell he was just itching to wrap them around you. You grabbed them yourself with a boost of confidence.

You took them in your hands and led them around your waste. He pulled you in closer, his chin softly resting on top of your head. Your body stiffened slightly at the closeness, and the overwhelming and unexpected feeling of his large arms heavy around you. He instantly loosened his hold around you.

“Is this okay?” He asked softly. You took a deep breath and nodded. You relaxed against him and you slowly felt his arms become less tense around you. You both fit together like you were always made to be this close.

“Its amazing.” You whispered back. You could feel the vibrations Bradley’s body omitted when he spoke. The vibrations would swoon you into a deep sleep if you weren’t careful.

You were both quiet for a while, enjoying the comfortable silence. You embraced the feeling of being completely surrounded by Bradley. His smell, his touch, his voice – his time. It was like a gift from god to even be a part of who he was. Even just for a moment.

Bradley cleared his throat and lifted his chin from the top of your head. You felt his body sit up a little straighter, causing your smaller one to follow. His thumb started to rub circles into your arm softly. Something you were realizing he did to calm you.

“I didn’t want to bring him up.” Bradley said quietly. “But I have to help you somehow. I can’t- I can’t just sit back and let you be scared.” Your heart both ached with pain and soared with admiration at his words.

On one hand you fucking hated that the pain you were facing seeped into the heaven that was being with Bradley. But on the other hand, you felt a warm feeling inside of you knowing he wanted to protect you.

“Being with you helps.” You gave him a soft smile. “I’ve been so isolated since coming here. You are one of the only people who ha cared to know me.” You felt Bradley nod, but his body still didn’t relax.

“It doesn’t end this for you though.” You could tell he was frustrated by the sound of the cracking in his voice. He tucked you closer into his body. You nuzzled your head against his neck, seeking comfort in him. You weren’t sure how to ease his worries. You could barely survive with your own.

“Maverick and I hired a private investigator when I moved here. He’s been keeping tabs on Tim.” You said twiddling your fingers nervously. Nothing felt less sexy than talking about an ex- boyfriend. But you knew this wasn’t a normal first date. That nothing about this situation was normal.

“Apparently, he’s in Colorado. After I escaped, he left his job and started looking for me.” You swallowed harshly. “I also think the cops he worked with were actually starting to become suspicious of him.”

A little too fucking late for that concern now.

“Why don’t I go find him? I can find him and bring him to the cops. Since his police buddies aren’t doing their fucking job.” His voice was angry, and you could feel his chest tensing behind you.

You were angry too; you were angry the first time you went to the police station to try to report him. They had acted like they believed you- wrote down everything Tim had ever done to you. But the next day somehow Tim found out and almost killed you. He had made you retract the whole report and act like you did it because “you were overreacting and crazy”.

“No.” you said firmly. “He’s dangerous. I’m not letting you get hurt because of me.” You gripped his hands on your waist tightly.

“Plus, it’s not that easy. He would have been arrested a long time ago if it was. We need evidence.” You were gritting your teeth trying to fight the images popping in your head.

Don’t go there.

“What’s the plan then?” Bradley asked.

“John is working on putting evidence together to have him arrested. I had hundreds of files on my phone and home security cameras that could have been proof.” Your blood boiled beneath your skin. “But Tim found them all and made me delete them.” You spared Bradley the details about what Tim did to you afterwards.

He took a deep breath and nuzzled his chin into your head softly. You swore you could feel his lips brushing against your hair.

“We’ll get him sweetheart.” His voice was strained, and you noticed his grip on your waist was still tense.

You were astonished that he wanted you despite the mess surrounding you- Despite the healing that still needed to be done- Despite all the baggage you carried.

“I know.” You said. Even though you really didn’t know. You knew there was a chance he would never be arrested for his crimes. It was the case for many, many women in your position.

“When this is all over…” you hesitated and wondered if you should entertain the fantasy idea that you had.

“We should go somewhere. Anywhere.” You smiled out at the sunset Infront of you.

Bradley hummed with happiness behind you.

“Ever been to Montana?” He asked. You shook your head against his chest. You’d seen pictures before though. You thought of green hills, wildlife and mountains. It made you relax just imagining the place.

“No. I’ve heard its beautiful though.”

“My parents bought a cabin there before I was born. It needs a lot of work– but it’s nestled in the mountains next to a lake. I’ll take you there.”

You looked up at him and he leaned down to look at you. Your lips were so close to touching you could almost taste him. You could tell Bradley was weighing his options on whether he should kiss you or not. You blushed and looked away from him and back at the ocean.

You wanted him so badly, but you were so afraid of what that meant.

“That’s the first place I want to go.” You said softly.

“Then we’ll go.” He gave you a squeeze and his arms loosened. He took a deep breath behind you.

“I’m leaving for scheduled training tomorrow.”

His words jolted you. The immediate ache you felt knowing he would be gone was equally as jolting.

“It’s nothing high risk or anything. Just routine training on the water. I’ll probably be out of the sky most of the time.”

You knew that he wasn’t telling the entire truth since any kind of training carried risk. He had to know that firsthand.

“How long will you be gone?” You glanced up at the ocean and saw that the sun was almost under the horizon line, causing the sky to darken around the both of you.

“10 days.” He said roughly. “It’s weird, I’ve never had anyone to tell when I’m going out for training or a mission.” His voice was heavy.

You lifted your body to turn around to face him. You sat criss- crossed in-between his legs. Luckily he was so large that you could fit between them. You were no longer looking at the ocean, but damn your view now was 10 times better.

“Well, now you have me to tell. I promise to annoy you every night with iMessage games when you’re done with work.” You grinned widely. You hoped you weren’t pushing the line. It was possible he would be going home from this date and never want to see you again.

You looked up at him and grinned.

Yeah, you didn’t have to worry about that.

Bradley was smiling ear to ear. The curls in his hair were softly blowing in the breeze. You never wanted to kiss someone so badly in your life.

“The night I come back I’ll be knocking on your doorstep.” He said with a sheepish smile. You bit you lip and looked at the sand.

“Honestly, I’d be disappointed if you didn’t.”

*********************************************************

The drive home was quiet, but Bradley played oldies the whole way home. He held your hand with his free one and you marveled at how just a simple touch of his hand brought you peace.

He parked the car in the driveway and before you could get out, he turned the ignition off and jogged to your door. It was dark now, but his white button down was clearly visible through the shadows.

“Well thank you.” You remarked, as he opened the door for you. He bowed playfully and shut the door when you stepped out. You both walked to the front door silently.

You were scared he might kiss you. Scared, excited and everything in-between. Maverick’s car wasn’t home. You mentally thanked god for that.

“Stop thinking so loud.” Bradley said teasingly. Your cheeks warmed.

“Sorry.” You squeaked. I

“I want to kiss you. But I won’t.” He said softly. His hands were hovering at his sides. You wanted to reach out and wrap them around you- but you were frozen.

He looked at you like you meant something to him. Like you were some kind of angel.

“I want to kiss you, but I’m scared.” Your voice cracked softly. Bradley’s eyes softened and you looked at the ground nervously.

“You don’t have to be scared of me.” He said, his voice almost inaudible. You twisted your lips together and tried to keep your emotions in check. How the hell could you explain how you were feeling?

“I’m not scared of you; I’m scared of everything else.” You said shakily. Tears were filling your eyes, but you refused to cry. You felt self-hatred brew in your chest.

“I’m so tired of being afraid.” You let out a bitter laugh, that sounded more like a cry.

“You won’t be afraid forever.” Bradley stepped close to you and dared to reach out and delicately tuck your hair behind your ear.

“I’m going to protect you.” His hand rested on the side of your shoulder now, gripping it softly. “And you’re strong, you are so fucking strong. I hope you know that.”

Suddenly your body was getting brought into his broad chest. He wrapped his arms around your back and held you tightly against him. You were completely surrounded by him, it made you shudder with warmth. His large hands rubbed your back in small circles.

“God I’m sorry. This is so embarrassing.” You said between sniffles. You fully gave into his embrace, though. You let yourself bask in the protective box he held you in.

“No need to apologize.” He said, without any kind of hesitation.

You weren’t sure how long you had been standing there in his arms- but long enough for both of you to have ended up leaning against the wall instead of standing upright. You took in a shaky breath.

“Thank you for taking me out tonight. I really did have a great time.” You said shyly. You pulled away from his chest, but neither of you let go of each other.

“Thank you for saying yes.” He said back, giving you a quick wink. The sly smile you were all too familiar with reappeared on his face. There was nothing more beautiful than that.

“You know, a kiss on the cheek doesn’t scare me as much.” You said softly.

Bradley’s eyes perked up and you grinned mischievously.

“Oh yeah?” He asked playfully. You took the risk to glance at his lips. God damn they looked perfect.

You nodded and batted your eyelashes expectantly.

“You sure?” he asked again, hesitating before leaning in at your nod.

His lips pressed softly onto your cheek. Your heart was pounding out of your chest.

You meant it when you said you were scared to kiss him- but that didn’t mean you weren’t going to do it.

Fuck it.

Before he could pull away you wrapped your hand around the back of his neck and turned his lips to yours. Hoards of butterflies flew through your stomach when you finally felt his lips press against you.

You kissed him like you meant it. Not too rough, but not too soft either.

You kissed him like you were scared of what the kiss meant but fucking enthralled with how it felt.

He kissed you with gentleness, but with so much need at the same time.

You moved your hand to his chest and gripped his shirt. You didn’t want the high to end. You wanted him to keep kissing you the way he was, to go lower to your neck, to your chest -

But he pulled away- your eyes met, and you both were breathless.

“Sweetheart, I want to keep kissing you but…I don’t want to get carried away. ” His gentle eyes wandered over your face. His hand was still cupping your cheek softly. You were still so,so, so close to his lips.

You didn’t want to get carried away either. Well you definitely wanted to get fucked by Bradley Bradshaw, but that would not be happening tonight.

“Good point.” You said breathlessly. Bradley let out a laugh and you bit your lip nervously. You knew your cheeks must be flushed.

“I’ll miss you when I’m gone.” He said softly. You squeezed his arms in agreement.

“Be safe while you’re out there alright? You can’t leave me out to dry like this.” You half joked. Bradley chuckled let out a big sigh.

“I’ll come see you the moment I get back.” He said assuredly. You took a final look at him before stepping out of his arms completely. You felt an immediate loss of warmth, causing you to frown.

“You better.” You said, eyes squinted.

“I promise.”

*********************************************************

Bradley had been gone for 7 days.

You tried to act like his absence didn’t affect you that much. But somehow the days seemed like fucking weeks, and your shifts at the Hard Deck were a lot less entertaining than before.

Maverick kept teasing you that you looked like a lost puppy around the house. You flipped him off every time and reminded him of all the times he moped around when he couldn’t see Penny.

Just three more days.

You were minutes away from closing the bar for the night. It was Saturday night, so Penny was closing with you. Maverick had offered to drive you to work and pick you up just so he could see Penny. As much as it grossed you out to see all their PDA, you were so damn happy for Maverick. Penny was his version of settling down – his forever.

Your phone pinged and you smiled when you realized it was Bradley. You both had been texting each other non-stop since he left.

You hadn’t really texted about anything particular, just about his day and yours. But you fucking loved it, and every time you saw his name pop on your screen you stopped everything to open it.

Bradley 🐔 : For someone who keeps challenging me to connect four you are pretty shit at it.

You: I’m just warming up!

Bradley🐔: Warming up for 7 days straight?

You: Just have to find my groove.

Bradley🐔: Just admit you suck at connect four

You: absolutely not

You responded to him and slipped your phone in your pocket. Texting Bradley about iMessage games should not be the priority while you were on the clock.

“You all done?” asked Penny. She had boxes in her hands so high she couldn’t even see Infront of her. You laughed and ran to her rescue to take a few boxes.

“Yup!” You replied, piling boxes in your hands.

You both carried them to the back room and let out a big sigh unanimously.

“Tonight was busy.” Penny said, her voice exhausted. But somehow after a 12 hour day at the bar she still looked stunning.

“Probably one of the busiest nights I’ve worked.” And you had cash in your pocket to prove it. You both heard a knock on the bar counter.

“Hey ladies!”

It was Maverick ready to take you both home. Penny’s mood instantly brightened, and you gave her a smirk.

“Going out tonight?” You asked. She glared at you playfully and skipped out of the room. You followed behind her, dreaming about the fresh sheets on your bed. You were going to sleep so damn good tonight.

But then you saw Mav. Something was wrong.

You stopped a few feet away from him and shook your head.

“What’s wrong?” you asked shakily. Your heart dropped to your stomach when he looked at you with remorse- with a look that said I’m sorry.

“Mav, tell me what’s going on. Please.” You stepped closer, and Mav reached out to grab your arm.

“John called.”

You froze. All the blood from your face drained immediately. Your body went ice cold and you felt vomit rising in your throat.

“Tim’s in California.”

********************************************************

Part three out of four is up next! Thank you so much for all the love. I’m looking forward to relasing the final two parts.

*********************************************************

RUNNING TAGLIST:

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[freedomfireflies]

any chance you'd write something small about harry being jealous?? i'm a sucker for the stay with me tropes 😭

“That’s the dumbest fucking excuse I’ve ever heard in my life.”

Your expression falls, eyes narrowing into slits as you throw an outraged look Harry’s way. “Right. Because you’d be the authority on dumb.”

It’s not your best jab, although it is the only one you have the strength to offer. 

This whole night has been a bust. Starting the moment you saw Harry waltz into the bar all the way until the ostentatious end when you watched him throw Luke out of the bar.

Harry isn’t offended by the retort, instead scoffing to himself as he leans against the dark, brick walls that line the alleyway. “I told you I wouldn’t do it—”

“Nobody fucking asked you to,” you remind him quickly, taking a brave step forward. “You knew he’d be here—”

“Oh, did I?”

“Yes.” Your voice is clipped. Irate. You’ve had this conversation with him more times than you can count, and sometimes he just doesn’t use his fucking head. “Luke has always been a huge part of my life, you know that—”

“Doesn’t mean I have to like it.”

A pause. Both your postures ridged with indifference and pride. 

“I never asked you to like it,” you mumble, thrusting your chin toward him. “But you agreed to at least play nice.”

“I agreed…to let him keep his teeth in his mouth,” Harry corrects, his own glare just as venomous. “I never fucking agreed to watch him stick his tongue down your throat.”

“He was drunk—”

“He was over the fucking line,” Harry seethes, volume rising until each word can bounce off the brick walls and ricochet back to you.

A bit hypocritical, you'd say, coming from him. Someone who has no claim over you. Someone who has no claim over who you kiss drunkenly in bars. Someone who started this very arrangement with you by kissing you when he was drunk in a bar.

You don't point this out. But you could.

In fact, you’re quite tempted, although you already know that won't help the case you're trying to make.

His arms move to cross angrily in front of his chest and you don’t miss the ruby red stain bleeding down the white fabric.

You wonder if it’s Harry’s blood or Luke’s.

But you suppose it doesn’t matter because it’s on Harry’s shirt and not in somebody’s body where it’s supposed to be.

And whose fault is that?

“I can’t keep doing this with you," you exhale aloud, the sad truth you hadn’t wanted to accept becoming painfully obvious.

The same realization that first dawned earlier tonight when the bartender was dragging Harry from the building and throwing him out into the cold night.

You don't want to end things with him. But what other reason is there to stay?

“Harry, I—why do you keep doing this?” you ask now, wanting so desperately to have a reason for the madness that you'll just fucking ask him if you have to.

The muscles in his jaw restrict as he forces his eyes off into the distance and you can practically see the real answer appear in his mind.

But will he actually offer it to you?

When silence becomes your only friend, you sigh, accepting that nothing is now the only thing he has to give.

Your feet take you backward. Away from the wall. Away from Harry. 

Away from the nightmare of tonight.

“I’m gonna go find Luke,” you tell him softly, ignoring the snort he has the nerve to exhale. “I’m gonna make sure he’s okay and then I’m going to go home.”

Still no response from the pensive figure in the shadows.

That tells you all you need to know.

You figured the day might come. The day when your, for lack of a better term, situation-ship with Harry would meet its inevitable end.

You just hadn’t expected that day to be today.

“Don’t make me lose you,” you murmur, the one wish you truly have left. The one wish that supersedes the rest.

And still, his façade remains. Stoic and unnerving.

You leave him with your last request. No more fighting. No more pleading.

It’s up to him now.

“Wait.”

You’ve reached the entrance to the alley, sneakers screeching to a halt on the wet pavement when you hear his call.

There’s something different in his voice. Something…urgent. Docile, even. 

You turn, eyeing the familiar face you hate to love, still pressed to the wall.

“Don’t go.”

A request so quiet, so light it’s almost carried away by the wind.

“What?”

Green eyes, bloodshot and now a tad glossy, meet yours. “Don’t go.”

Your throat constricts. The burden of his request weighs heavy on your chest. “Harry…”

“Don’t go,” he repeats, now for a third time. His head shakes, sweaty curls falling to his forehead, tortured yet still peeved. “Don’t…just—stay.”

Your lips purse together, weighing the consequences of each option. “Harry, I—”

“Just don't fucking go,” he pleads, the bass in his voice not deep enough to hide the small crack as it echoes through the alleyway.

You exhale a gentle breath, watching as the man so consumed by rage and jealousy metaphorically bows before you. “Then what do I do if I don’t go?”

You notice his chest rise and fall as you wait for his reply.

“You stay.”

The answer pulls you. Pulls you back into the dark crevice of the city as you retreat back to him. As you place yourself in front of his frame. As you watch him. Up close.

Truth be told, you’d wanted a reason to come back. Wanted a reason to leave Luke in the past, where he belongs. Wanted a reason to stay with the man you can’t exactly even call your own.

You just wanted that reason to come from Harry.

Your fingers reach for his jaw, crawling up his cheeks until you can cup his face and pull it higher. Force his eyes from the pavement and onto yours.

“I need a reason to stay,” you tell him. No sugar coating. No hesitation. Just the truth.

Pleased yet hopeful, you feel his hands move to your hips, pulling you between his legs until your chest is taut with his.

For the first time all night, you watch him smile. Feel the way his yearning bleeds through his touch. Knowing, undoubtedly, that he needs you. No matter what he says. No matter how he shows it. No matter what arguments he might present to convince you otherwise.

You feel a hand reach for the back of your neck, tugging you closer until you can’t help but swoon at the urgency in his movements. 

Soft lips graze your own, your lashes fluttering until it’s just him and the darkness.

“I’ll be your reason.”

I've never gotten to do this before and it was so scary but so much fun, so thank you for asking 😭

Full Masterlist

[butwhyduh]

Hello! I absolutely adore your stories! ❤️💖 I was hoping you could write a funny batsis (who is the biological daughter of Batman and is between Dick and Jason in age) story about her getting caught in one morning (or whenever) doing some "bedsheet sparring" with like Conner Kent or someone with powers that shouldn't be in gotham without Batman's permission (lol) and her entire family are who catch her because it's her birthday or something and they came in to surprise her with breakfast! I think it would be hilarious!

Warning cuz it has smut lol

Batsis x Kon kent

Conner pulled you on his lap, setting the pace faster than your hips wanted to go, pulling a moan from your lips. He quickly swallowed it in a rough kiss. He could feel the way you were clenching tight around him, 4th time that night (technically morning) to be exact, that you were going cum soon.

“Oh Kon!” You whimpered while throwing your head back and clenching him tightly. Conner groaned and thrust up to find his own high. You rocked together in pleasure. He could hear your heart pounding in your chest and feel the sheen on sweat on your body that this was the last round. You were only human after all.

A loud rapping at the front door made you jump. You looked at Conner confused. Who was at your door at 6 in the morning? You grabbed your robe as you climbed off Conner.

Conner used his x Ray vision to look thru the door, “babe, that’s your-“

“My baby sister’s birthday!” Called Dick thru the door. “Open up!”

You froze and looked at Conner who was clearly debouched and oozing sex from every pore and you knew you didn’t look much better. You tried to smooth your hair down and you grabbed a wet paper towel to wipe at the streaked makeup from the night before that you’d been too busy to remove. You hadn’t gone to bed yet.

You and Conner had gone partying and hadn’t gotten home until past 2 am and you both had gone to bed but certainly not to sleep.

“Answer the door! I know you hear me!” Dick called.

“Maybe she doesn’t want her brothers to bother her,” Jason replied. Fuck, both of them??

“Maybe she was actually out partying all night and is dead asleep right now,” Tim added. That was when you knew that Conner was going to die that day. Your birthday. The windows on the small apartment were all on one side that were visible from the front door so no flying away.

He was hastily throwing on his pants and shirt before moving to your bedroom closet. You pulled it close while calling to your brothers, “just a minute!”

A final look in the mirror caused you to blanch at the sight of a fresh hickey on your collarbone that you hurried to cover with your robe. There was no way that wasn’t going to be visible today. Your heart pounded like you were tracking killer Croc when you opened the door.

Dick, Jason, and Tim were standing there with balloons, a box from a bakery, and a present bag.

“Hi,” you said. You suddenly realized how much water you needed. You were just lucky to not pull something with everything Conner had done to you.

“Woah sleep head,” Jason teased while handing you the cupcake box as he walked in. Dick and Tim followed.

“Well it is a little early,” you admitted. “Wha-what brings you here? Now?”

“We wanted to tell you happy birthday first,” Dick said and you huffed out a laugh with a nod.

“Right,” you said. “And you figured the crack of dawn was a good idea because…”

“Tim couldn’t sleep and you didn’t reply to his meme so we came down,” Jason finally answered.

“Seriously? You do know I’m a big girl that can take care of myself, right?” You replied with a huff. You sat on the arm of the couch as exhaustion finally hit. It made sense. You’d been up 27 hours straight, danced at clubs for hours, and then bed acrobats for half the night with your literal superhuman boyfriend. And when was the last time you had anything to drink.

“We know but it’s nice to see you without the whole family,” Dick added.

“Without Damian, bruce, and Alfred you mean?” You said.

“Maybe,” Tim shrugged. “Are you hungry? We can go get food? A waffle house?” He suggested. It did sound good but so did spooning with your boyfriend until midday.

“I don’t know. I’m a little tired,” you said and that was a hell of an understatement.

“We’re all tired. Get dressed. Get waffles. And then take a nap before Bruce’s party,” Jason said, tossing you your bag. You caught it but your robe dipped down your shoulder.

“What the hell?” Dick said. They all stared at the mark clearly visible before you yanked it up your shoulder.

“Who did that? Is that why you’re tired? Did we interrupt a booty call?” Jason asked.

“Ew, booty call?” Tim said to Jason who pointed at you and shrugged.

“No! No one did anything. It’s none of your business,” you stammered.

“Is he or she going to the party tonight?” Dick asked. “Are they in here?”

Your eyes widened involuntarily. “That’s none of your-“

“Come out, come out, wherever you are,” Jason called as he and Tim started looking over the apartment.

“Stop them,” you begged Dick.

“They’re really here now? This whole time?” Dick asked.

“Jason, don’t!” You called as he went in your bedroom. Tim followed him and you ran after them. “Don’t!” You gasped just as he opened the closet door to show Conner Kent standing beside your shirts. His shirt was on backwards and he definitely looked like he recently had sex.

“You?” Jason said roughly with clear shock. Dick blinked and froze.

“Wow,” Tim added. “You’re gonna die today.”

“Stop it,” you said pushing Jason from the closet. He moved with your shove but he wasn’t the one you should have watched. Dick shoved Conner in the closet and punched him in his face before you could act.

“Dick!” You gasped in shock. Dick groaned and shook his hand but to his credit, Conner rubbed his lip where he was hit too.

“I’ll see you tonight,” Dick replied angrily to you. He stormed out of the room.

“Hey!” You called after him. You turned to Tim and Jason. “I don’t even know why he’s mad. I’m an adult.”

“That’s just being a big brother,” Jason said patting you on the shoulder. “Come on Tim. We’ll see her tonight. Happy birthday.”

“Jason!”

“Bye,” Tim said with a little wave before both left.

“Kon,” you said, looking up at him feeling lost. He simply pulled you into a hug.

“Let’s take a nap and we’ll fix it when they aren’t as mad,” he suggested. You let him pull you to bed where you hugged him tight. He ran his hands along your back before you finally fell asleep.

You woke a few hours later with a strong arm wrapped around you and you could feel your body hot and sweaty. Your robe was still on. The events of the night flooded back in your memory. You groaned and leaned into Conner who hugged you and kissed your temple, half asleep.

“Morning,” he said in a sexy husky morning voice.

“Morning. I can’t go to this thing today. I’ll cancel dinner and say I’m sick,” you said. Conner sighed.

“And hurt Bruce’s feelings that his little girl doesn’t want him around on her birthday?”

“Crap. What do I do?”

“If I could suggest,” he said, sitting up on his elbows as you still laid on his chest. “Bring me as your date. You didn’t introduce me because of your brothers, right? Now that isn’t a problem anymore.”

“That’s…. A good idea, actually,” you said after a second.

“That would sound insulting if I didn’t know you,” he muttered as you hurried out of bed.

“Bring you as my date and then Dick can’t get mad because you’re my boyfriend, not some random guy. We won’t have to sneak around anymore; even though that’s fun. Dad never needs to know any details because the boys telling him would just be weird. Conner,” you said, cupping his face. “You’re a genius!” You kissed him with a grin.

“And yet, I feel like a pawn,” he muttered as you tossed him a dress shirt.

“We need a shower,” you said, ignoring his commentary.

“Together? I’m interested in that,” he replied causing you to roll your eyes.

“We were ‘together’ all night. As long as the shower doesn’t lead to anything else then fine,” you replied.

“I mean, I also just enjoy seeing you naked so there’s that,” he said with a shrug.

———————————

The dinner was far from small. Your birthday party was a great event to invite Wayne Enterprise investors and frequent private donors to your favorite charities. Bruce had decorated the ballroom in your favorite color and theme. It was beautiful and full of people in fancy dress.

Conner adjusted his tie. “Shouldn’t have worn this stupid tie. That guy isn’t wearing one,” he motioned towards a man in the crowd. Jason had already flipped Conner off from across the crowd and Dick ‘accidentally’ knocked his drink from his hand with his own bandaged hand.

“He’s publicity. Not a guest,” you said quietly with an eye roll while straightening the tie. “And you want to make a good impression to my father.”

“I’m already preparing to get my ass beat by Batman,” Conner muttered under his breath.

“No. It’ll be Bruce Wayne and if you don’t take the hit and break his hand, then Batman will beat your ass later,” you replied. “But none of that will happen if you act like a polite journalist from Kansas.”

“I have many reason to hate that cover but it’s fine for now. Oh god, here he comes,” Conner said, standing straight as Bruce walked thru the crowd.

“Sweetheart,” Bruce said warmly, giving you a hug. “Kent,” he added, looking at Conner suspiciously over your shoulder.

“Hi Mr Wayne,” Conner replied. Bruce glared at him.

“Why is he here?”

“Dad,” you chided. “Conner is here as my.. date,” you said with a nervous smile. You watched Bruce Wayne go thru every emotion a man could have in 30 seconds.

“I see,” Bruce replied coldly. Your heart froze.

Conner looked between you both.

“Kent. You better treat her well or I’ll put a boot so far up your ass, you’ll taste kryptonite,” Bruce said calmly before walking away to talk to another guest.

“I’m gonna die,” Conner whimpered. “I had to date Batman’s daughter and now I’m gonna die.”