#a pure stream of consciousness

[meltybottle]

this has probably been done before. ouhh.

[rinmession]

Toxic Hatsusaki won today. What do you mean Sakiko gave Hatsune everything she wanted then denied her the knighthood she gave everyone else. Here is the line Hatsune, here's the limit. You'll get to keep her in your attic, sing for her, play her doll, give your life to her and she'll accept that burden BUT. She Sees You. YOU see you. You don't just want that blessing of forgetting, not really. You want Her. Sakiko writes you saying it to yourself in the play!!!! You are accepted and you are also denied, marked apart and refused your heart's true desire. You may take up your sword for her, you'll play for her, but you're not really here for absolution like the rest, you're not serving to forget, and she won't pretend to grant you that honor. May she and her self-loathing chew on this and yearn forever I'm jumping up and down with glee.

HYPERVENTILATES. THE ECHO OF EPISODE 11. THE WAY IT'S LIKE HER SPEAKING TO HERSELF IN HER MONOLOGUE. TAKE UP YOUR SWORD AND SING DOLORIS, TAKE YOUR THIRTY PIECES OF SILVER YOU FALSE APOSTLE, THIS IS WHAT IS ALLOTTED YOU. YOU'LL STAY SO INCREDIBLY CLOSE TO HER AND YOU'LL NEVER HAVE HER!!!!

She's not like the rest of Ave Mujica to Sakiko, she's special(Derogatory) :) She really is Judas.

[fictionadventurer]

It turns out I was imitating George Macdonald without knowing it. There are passages in Phantases that remind me a lot of my surreal fairy tales.

[jellicores]

duck duck goose - a quick, mostly-silent, minicomic

[urban-shade]

i have this 40 minute long ramble podcast-y video on top of run footage about pressure/sebastian and i really want to make it public for the real pressureheads but i go off on zeals writing maybe a little too insanely to actually make it public (in a positive way but still) but i have a lot of good clips from it i might eventually post. here's one where i ramble about what'd happen if they wanted to make sure he still had all his tastebuds

[maik-ol]

Heaven (Heaven)

Will tumblr compress this? Idk

[the-spooky-children]

I have two wolves in me

One wants Skidad to be a chaotic evil irredeemable villain that kills kids for his immortality cult and only married Lila and has Skid for the cult

The other wants Skidad to have done terrible no good very bad things for the cult but then died and has been trapped in the mannequin and forced to reflect on all the shit he's done for years until by episode 10 he's a completely different person and he still cracks jokes all the time

[ssvnormandysr-1]

Gale & Mystra's relationship is hard to watch bc it reminds me so much of grooming that happens so often in art spaces/ schools. When I say grooming here I don't necessarily mean adult grooming a child but more of a person in a position of power crossing boundaries with a student and grooming them to be in a relationship while the student couldn't say no and still with a huge power imbalance. it's unfortunately not an uncommon thing in art spaces where mentors/ older artists/ professors find, target, and exploit young students, which on the surface can seem like an honor and special treatment and all but of course, it's fucked up and wrong and all kinds of ethics and boundary crossing. Profs can be legitimately (and should be) fired for this or be reprimanded. "You are so talented, you are so good, I can help you go further, etc etc" and young students often don't have a choice of saying no, and since such attention is framed as something of an honor and elicit the feeling of being special, it's hard for self and others to help them get out of such relationships.

idk man. I do feel like people forget that grooming absolutely happens between adults when there is an imbalance of power and just because he wasn't literally a child when he met mystra ppl like to dismiss his trauma. Did Gale fuck up big time and did a big no-no because of his hubris? Yes. Does he have an ego the size of a planet and an underlying thought of "yes but I'm built different"? Absolutely. Is he still a flawed human and uses some pretty unhealthy communication behaviors? You bet. Do these stem from his self-esteem and attachment issues, much of it caused by his upbringing as a child prodigy who always had to strive and having a goddess for a partner that never could've been his equal? Ding ding ding yes absolutely definitely. Some can say he used her as much as she used him and I get that - he's a wizard, he has insatiable curiosities and desire to wield greater magic and oh hey his partner is the goddess of magic what a good opportunity! But also how much can a mortal "use" a god, truly, you know?

[whoblewboobear]

Ngl after the first two chapters I’m kinda leaning hard into appreciating and loving Gabe a ton rn. Bc when it became very clear that this book was essentially gonna be “baby vampire fish out of water” plot I was already a little apprehensive. I think it was way too soon for this mc to be turned (bloodbound had incredible pacing for this) but the writers didn’t think they’d ever be writing a book 2 so the book 1 ending was.. messy to say the least. They wrote themselves into a bit of a corner and cas and Gabe fighting over which coven mc will join isn’t that interesting either. Don’t wanna be under lewyn’s rule and the venandi’s are 😬 but I love Cas and Astoria so 🤷🏾

I do love milking the vampire guilt plot line for all it’s worth but between the two li’s Gabe is the one who understands (which I gave her so much shit for in book one bc presumably she’d been a vampire for a while and the guilt didn’t fully feel justified.)

I get that Cas is excited that mc has turned. He loves it, he loves being a vampire and he wants mc to love it too but he’s also stubborn and probably beyond frustrated that the things he hated about Gabe and now things that mc is going through. He can’t get past that right now which makes being a Cas Simp™️ So hard.

Also can I just say it is so silly/goofy to me when humanoid characters complain about humans despite looking like and being one in the past. Let mc be comfortable with their humanity. It doesn’t make them any less of a vampire, Cas, Damn 👀

[perverteddaydreamer]

What happened when you were abducted by aliens? What sort of horrible experiments did they try? And did they take you to meet their queen?

I had never believed in alien abductions. Why would I? It was always something so obviously fake, and anyone who thought it was all real -- well, they were cuckoo for Cocoa Puffs. Everything was easily explained away as a fanmade hoax for clout and attention, a government facade meant to hide the real secrets, or a tent that had been blown away in the wind.

That's what I thought until I got abducted.

The other weird thing was that people always talked about anal probes. So fucking weird, right? Why would aliens do that, care so much about that? Clearly just someone engaging in... I don't know, some kind of Freudian delusion. It was fetishistic, but they simply weren't introspective enough.

With my wrists bound to the table, and my legs pulled back over my head, I could stare right at my own flaccid cock as the probe was inserted. It was cold from lubrication, slipping in easily. I wondered what results they would find. Surely more than just my body temperature. But, though I couldn't crane my head far, I tried to see what data they got. Instead, I saw their long, slender fingers caressing their own bodies, playing with so strangely human-like openings. Oh.

They really were just perverts, huh?

When I moaned, they froze, unsure of what I meant and unsure of how to respond. Their voices were high-pitched, language unintelligible to me, their black-on-black eyes unreadable. But when I wriggled my hips, they somehow understood the body language perfectly. There was something reassuring about there being a universal gesture for "Give me more."

Blood rushed into my cheeks as, with the pressing of a few buttons, the probe sank deeper, pushed harder. It was seemingly searching for -- I gasped, quick and loud. And then I screamed, as a sudden, searing shock wrung a single rope of sticky seed from me. They chittered and sighed, and they wiped the semen from my face as I was trying and failing to lick it up myself. Hey, what was wrong with me trying to make some fun of it all?

I didn't consider how little they cared for my pleasure or consent. They made me cum without my having to offer reciprocation. Surely, these strange beings were very giving partners, I'd thought. But, you know, I never had considered, what with all those people who had frantically warned all humanity about alien abductions and anal probes, that there could be an element of survivorship bias -- that, maybe, if there was more to it than an uncomfortably invasive procedure, then we didn't hear about anything else because...

... because those people never did make it back.

Were they hyperintelligent or surprisingly primitive, manipulating devices they barely understood? Naturally, you'd think the former, but the latter came to mind when I realized I was never going to receive anesthesia. Bones were cracked open, skin split apart. There was never any bleeding, somehow. They took things out, organs I couldn't recognize on sight. I hope they got my appendix, but I was certain I saw my... saw my heart, still beating, in those long, grey, careful fingers, like a claw machine grasping its prize on that rare occasion when nothing slipped away. They put something else in, a lot of somethings, sometimes mechanical, sometimes organic and with no origin I could start to guess at. Too many tubes, too many valves.

My head... I witnessed the top of my skull set aside. There aren't sensory neurons in the brain. I shouldn't FEEL them digging inside, shutting things off, ratcheting other things into overdrive. I was rock-hard, and I was crying, and I was sweating, and I felt divinely-inspired elation, and I saw hallucinatory colors, and I came as I felt seven phantom limbs ripped off my body and heard the grinding of gears and ocean waves from nowhere. I drooled down my chest and watched, immobile, as they gathered around my cock to lick up what they had perhaps accidentally milked from me.

They had a queen. I wouldn't know if they had all come from her, and I'm not even sure I'd assigned the most accurate gender identity to her. All I know is that the others made way for her. That she was bigger -- far bigger than them, far bigger than me. She knelt over me, and she rode me. It was so strangely normal. I was happy to be raped like this, without the pseudomedical torture. I wanted to be hers and hers alone. She clamped so tightly around me, and as she did so, something wet and insistent slipped over my balls and twisted up and around. When it penetrated me, I sucked in a breath, but her mouth met mine and sucked it back out. Where did she learn that? Did her people kiss? Did they watch our porn? Did she force two of us to mate?

Drugs and implants artificially lengthened my stamina. I felt ashamed of my naturally pathetic capabilities, enough to overwhelm any pride over what I could do now. They were... more. They were more than me, and they demanded more than I was and could give. And they made me so I could give more. And after long enough, only that thought was present in my brain: give, and give, and give. So I thrust as desired. So I came as desired. And I stared into those great black voids as desired, and felt her thoughts swirl around in mine, plucking them like violin strings, cutting through them like butter and leaving messy halves to reform behind her or not. At some point, I lost control of my body, not just too exhausted to move but rather as if I had spent everything. No more hormones. No more transmitters. No more blood. Like I had used it all up to thrust one more time, to ejaculate just one more time deep inside her. She continued to bounce atop me, plunged and thrust and crashed her hips.

When she was done, maybe even satisfied, I was thrown away. Not back down to Earth. I wasn't a fish to be caught and released. I had already been scaled, boned, and eaten. She was done with me, and she tossed away the scraps. She flung my spent body down a chute, and I landed on something soft. There was a faint moan below me. Then several more. All of them unmoving.

[ruelpsen]

feeling insane about that fictional man tonight (in a horny-subby way)

Holy fucking fuck do I want to be his fat little fucktoy. I want him to use me for his own pleasure and for him to enjoy seeing how much I love it when he treats me as a slutty plaything. I want him to fuck me whenever and wherever and as often as he wants and in whatever ways he wants. Letting him use me like that sounds so fucking good.

And don't even get me started on weight. I want him to force me to get fat, whether from food or his cum as going by that one kinky hc I have for his kind. I want him to condition me so I get horny when he feeds me so I get all needy and give him all the more reason to use me then and there. I want him to want me bigger, to make me bigger, and make me that much hornier the more of me there is. I want him to shove his cocks in my mouth so I have no choice but to get bigger thanks to him.

I want him to use my throat so I can be a disgusting little whore and belch on him like a good fat slut. I want him to mock me over how horny and desperate his own belches make me. I want him to tease me for it, force me to beg for it, make me admit how disgusting I am for wanting him to belch in my mouth. Fuck, I'm disgusting, but I want it. I want him. I want to be his gross, fat little fucktoy, belching again and again as he fucks me. I want my moans of pleasure to get interrupted by belches as he makes me cum, only for him to keep going because I'm not done until he's done. Fuck. Fuck. I want him I want him I want him God I need him to force me to cum and be absolutely nasty to me.

[sybaritick]

They had a good few weeks' warning before the mustelids advanced this far into the countryside. The paths the weasels and stoats took traced the same snowmelt streams that widened over dozens of miles into the broad, deep river she recognized. There was little they could do, even with that time, armed only with crudely-made shortbows (not enough for all of them) and knives (better suited to the kitchen than self-defense). None of these weapons saw use, anyway. They resisted so little the capture was nearly bloodless save two guards and the baroness who had refused to be captured alive and managed to make good on the promise; the baron alone was taken as a hostage.

She was raised with the standard that rabbits should be slender and quiet and quick, none of which she has ever met even in childhood. But by the weasels that remain to keep order she is constantly singled out for jealousy-inducing special treatment. She luxuriates in being the one who is always afforded extra food or leniency or the clothes and jewelry of the invaders that fancy themselves their new masters, the vole-pelt cloak and the heavy wool skirt with its gleaming brass buttons and promises to keep her warm through the coming winter.

She watches a stoat guard's claws sliced to the quick for the crime of groping her, and remembers how it had been ignored when he targeted several of the others.

They take three, four a week from the city that they mean to eat. Criminals, always. If there are not enough criminals, they will arrest more. But she is a symbol of edibility valued more in life than death, she gathers. Something looked upon to stir the appetite. A shopkeep piles a half-serving more of the caramelized, brown-sugar-glazed carrots on her plate than she paid for. She eats them all.

When she stands again, it's a relief from the way the buttons of her skirt had pressed too tight against her belly.

After the first frost in the late evenings the resistors chatter in one of the bakeries that remained open through it all. How many more are there of us than them, you see, if we all attacked at once-- they'll only send for more and they'll kill us all-- they're spread too thin, there are no reinforcements left to send-- now is the time, before the winter-- and she listens, and nods, and says little.

She recognizes that perhaps the treatment she can garner is an opportunity that might help her kind.

She considers the way her kind will return to seeing her once the invaders are chased off over the horizon.

[thebeesforeleg]

The inherent homoeroticism of using your dosimeters interchangeably 💕

[bunnyunderthebed]

across a mirror of yliaster, split and parted we stood.

god, if i had known the heights at which you stood, i'd've humbled myself before you, as your station demands. instead i invited you, hubris and bourbon on my lips, to give chase, as if i was worthy of such attention.

tears run down my leporine cheeks, after a long breath stolen from tales of pain and betrayal, how beautiful your sight was as it fell upon my form. i did not know and i did not care, stuck in my own desert of recognition.

question in and question out.

question forward and question back.

question you and question me.

question tool and question feel.

[proosh]

wolf/bunny, what could go wrong

did you know that rabbits can struggle so hard they break their own spines.

I don't know if Fran knows, when he sinks his teeth into his kicking, screaming prey, that Gil will twist himself to pieces in order to return the favour in kind.

[sieglinde-freud]

Can I get you started on the derailment of Duncan and Courtney?

what is this, a total drama vent blog now? but yeah you can :) under cut

i think the derailment of courtney is like five thousand times more annoying than duncan but that might j be bc i dont really like duncan (hes fine in island, kinda boring in action (didnt deserve his win idgaf that shouldve been harold there. yes im still mad lindsay went home instead of him in rock n rule), and the entirety of that mid section of world tour just revolving around him and the stupid love triangle drama is SO annoying. and then he makes final five FOR WHAT??? FOR WHAT???? im sick of his ass. what was i talking about. right) but either way theyre both two very major characters so its just really sad to see them both fall victim to horrible characterization? cuz you start in island right and in general island is a lot more grounded than the other seasons and leans more into the fact that theyre all 2000’s teenage stereotypes so in island theyre just the good ol cliche good girl/bad boy couple its iconic, its cute, WAY more entertaining than gwent (but they get a pass cuz gwen was basically the main character of that season. u go girl. go get that bag AND that boring wet dog man) and its just nice. courtney shows signs of being controlling but for the most part duncan’s attitude gets courtney to loosen up a bit and have fun and courtney made duncan a better person.

and then action happens and then courtney is like. rightfully mad she got screwed out of the season after harold gets her kicked off and no one gaf but its like. you can see where this could go and it doesnt look great. not much happens for duncan except he gets more insufferable bc they didnt give him any friends this season? unlike when he geoff and dj to bounce off of now he just picks fights with harold and the other gaffers which IS funny but. basically action is where the red flags start being put up. their relationship is. fine. like i liked it at the time but knowing where it heads is upsetting. anyways

then u get to world tour and theyre close to their island dynamic again (with the exception of gwen being there…) but then duncan quits first episode which i think was actually a great choice bc of how courtney finally gets to stand on her own as a character without him (i actually really like duncney. but her character was always tied to him in some way yk?) and make her own friends and it was looking great! until i see london and everything goes to shit. dude comes back, cheats on courtney, and then everyone on that god forsaken plane gets involved. first of all, ISLAND DUNCAN WOULD NEVER??? no fucking way. not even action duncan. dude was HOOKED on her crazy ass. AND FOR GWEN?!?! who has never been the same since island but thats a different thing. but they had literally zero romantic chemistry. all they have in common is that theyre both alt kids. NOT EVEN THE SAME KIND OF ALTERNATIVE! just alt. ugh. and then courtney gets sent into a spiral which, is a valid reaction to getting cheated on i do not blame her. and w/ someone you thought was ur friend like i GET IT. and i am on her side. but then her character goes back to ONLY EVER BEING ABOUT DUNCAN except this time its how much she hates him and her character just. pauses! she doesnt go anywhere else from i see london until shes eliminated inn… what was it. chinese fakeout? like shes just a hater who makes zero meaningful relationships aside from getting played by alejandro and shes just. like its just. its not good. and to know that any of this only happened bc the producers forced a duncney break up. girl sit DOWNNN

and then all stars just tramples them even more. since when has duncan ever gave a shit what people think of him? jojo siwa acting ass with this “im a bad boy!1!!!!” act island duncan would never. and then courtney. ohh courtney. she got flushed down a toilet force feeding herself ice cream with bird shit on it. all i gotta say (but also. nerfed bc she literally has an iron stomach in chinese fake out. whatever)

i still love them though. well, i love courtney. duncans alright but still neither of them deserved any of that