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oathkeeper-of-tarth · 7 months ago

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So, I'm curious: What's your take on Aylin's experience after/if she kills Lorroakan?

Allegedly, there's some information floating around somewhere that said Aylin was angry with Selune after she killed Lorroakan, but I can't find where this info is.

If you saw posts about that here on tumblr it was probably posted by @justanotherignot! I've actually been meaning to gather up all the devnote tidbits about Selûne from Aylin and Isobel for a while now, so thank you for the excuse to do so and ramble a bit.

Player: I was just wondering what it was like in that cage of Balthazar's. Aylin: Let us not dwell on those dark days. Their memory is a vortex within my heart that leads directly to the Hells.

What is happening is, well, it's the century of unthinkable horror catching up to her. It's the Trauma(TM) - in one of the conversation options she's literally triggered by the mention of someone being run through repeatedly! It's the growing awareness that although she's been freed (and possibly reunited with her love), the secret is out and there are always going to be assholes gunning for her, aiming to use her as an "artefact" and power source to fuel their ambitions, without any regard for her, you know... basic personhood and well-being. Also, Lorroakan was blatantly lying. He didn't find any super special way to siphon her immortality with "no harm, no pain of any kind", he was just replicating Balthazar's soul cage (you can even find a letter from Ketheric to him, showing Lorroakan was pestering them).

On to the stuff from the game files! First, the conversation with Aylin directly after the Lorroakan fight in the tower. I'm going to be putting the context notes in square brackets next to the lines they apply to. I also plucked some audio out from the files for some of these because I love the delivery.

Aylin: The fire-haired fool is dead. Yet as I stare upon his corpse, I feel… sadness. Why? [Slow and curious, angry and confused by all that has happened.] Player: What kind of sadness is it? / I know something of sadness - or at least the ballads do. What does it feel like? Aylin: A gripping in the chest. As though I'd lost someone, something. [Lost in thought for a moment; confused.] Aylin: A paladin's fatigue, no doubt. You were excellent in battle, as is your way. And I am proud to fight at your side. [Remembering herself. She is Dame Aylin.] Aylin: I will catch my breath, then to camp I will bring my bones. Moonmaiden be with you. Player: Smiting is a weighty duty - sometimes it can be tiring. / Perhaps smiting has lost its pleasures. Aylin: Say it can't be so. For I am Selûne's sword. And ever must be. [She means it, but on the periphery of her consciousness is a tiny crack. Wondering about her fate.]

The above never fails to get me - she is Dame Aylin! Sword of the Moonmaiden! Glorious immortal paladin, champion of a righteous cause! She smites evil-doers for breakfast, that's, like, her whole thing! What do you mean she can't just pick up where she left off and go about her merry smitey way? What do you mean the thing that is supposed to be the literal core of her entire being (forever) doesn't feel good and glorious anymore, but just makes her feel sad and empty? No, no, no, we can't have that.

Player: One of the greatest tragedies of revenge is that it can only be taken once. / Because you won't get to kill him again? Aylin: Perhaps. Yet if I could run him through a thousand times, I wonder-- [Lost in thought, she's been triggered to remember her own fate being run through over and over.] Aylin: Battle has tired my mind, made me susceptible to flights of fancy. You were excellent in battle, as is your way. And I am proud to fight at your side.

Aylin: I will return to camp shortly. I just need a moment to… to… [Lost in thought.]

She so very desperately needs some rest and a chance to come to terms with everything that happened and that was done to her. And it's clear it's going to be hard because she is defaulting to trying to deny anything is wrong, is clearly trying (and failing) to just be her old self immediately, has blatantly internalised a lot of that classic I Am A Sword stuff on top of everything (even though her mother is huge on free will and choice!), and is just really not well-equipped to handle any of this at all.

Next, this is the post-Lorroakan convo you get if you have both Aylin and Isobel in camp.

Aylin: Ah. Ally mine. We are reunited once more. [Warm, but drained. She's not feeling like herself.] Aylin: I was just regaling sweet Isobel with tales of our prowess. Isobel: Very impressive. Thank you for helping Aylin - that wizard sounded absolutely dastardly. [Good humored. Soft in tone. A little uncertain - she's not sure why Aylin isn't herself.] Player: My pleasure. He had it coming. Aylin: He did, and it came. Now, my friend: bask in your victory. I will do the same. Aylin: But fear not: when the time comes for you to face the foe of foes, Isobel and I will stand by your side. [Rallying her soldierly spirit, but still a little drained.] Isobel: We wouldn't miss it. Not for anything. Aylin: Go well, friend. We will see you soon. And with our great powers combined, this city will be saved. Player: Hopefully he'll be the last. Aylin: There are always more bastards behind bastards. But we will run through them all, each by each.

Player: I hope you can rest easy now, Dame Aylin. Aylin: I always do, with darling Isobel by my side. Aylin: Enjoy the spoils of your victory. Spin memories of Lorroakan's death in your mind like silkfloss.

If Isobel isn't there (meaning she died in Act 2), you get this version:

Aylin: Ah. Ally mine. We are reunited once more. [Warm, but drained. She's not feeling like herself.] Aylin: I was just reviewing our fight against foul Lorroakan; your moves and mine. The victory was soundly won. Aylin: Don't you think? [Uncharacteristically, Aylin is seeking input. She's usually so confident about everything, but killing Lorroakan has not had the intended effect on her.] Player: Indeed I do. Let his demise serve as a warning to anyone else who'd seek you out. Aylin: Let him be the last. If my dear mother has any mercy, she will ensure it. [Trying to stay her usual self, but her mask is cracking a tiny bit here. Privately, Aylin is dealing with a great deal of anger toward her mother, the goddess Selûne, But she's not yet willing to face it. How could her powerful mother let all this happen to her?]

Player: We fought well - though I was a little worried about you afterward, in truth. Aylin: Set your mind at ease, my friend. Dame Aylin is more well now than she has been this past century. [Good humored. Soft in tone. A little uncertain - it's true she's better now than she has been, but why does she feel so shitty, then? (She's in the beginning of reckoning with the trauma of what happened to her).]

Player: I hope you can rest easy now, Dame Aylin. Aylin: Yes. I wish for the very same. Aylin: Enjoy the spoils of your victory. Spin memories of our prowess in your mind like silkfloss.

So, a few things pop out for me here. First, you get the more explicit anger at Selûne if Isobel isn't there, as opposed to the "hahah, I will smite all the bastards who dare come after me, no matter how many there are" line. "How could her powerful mother let all this happen to her?" just... damn, hits hard, even if you subscribe to the theory that Selûne simply could not intervene in the Shadowfell imprisonment beyond sending those poor people whose graves you find in front of the mausoleum.

And here Aylin really lays it on thick with the denial that there's anything wrong at all. Combined with the letter you get from her in the epilogue if Isobel is dead, it just paints such a bleak, sad picture. I can just see her going all out on the Sword of Selûne duty-bound paladin side of things, no rest, no healing, no stopping even for a moment, no dealing with anything at all, from the trauma to the bitterness towards mum. Until whatever horrible breaking point comes, a year or a century from now. The need for Isobel's humanising influence is so clear. I've touched on Isobel's side of things here.

Speaking of having a bone to pick with Selûne, if you're playing as a cleric/paladin of Selûne, you can get some extra very honest dialogue with Isobel in Last Light:

Player: Why has the Moonmaiden waited until now to take an interest in this curse? Isobel: Maybe she was waiting for one of us to find this place ourselves. Free will, and all that.

Isobel: Though if it were my place to ask why she let Ketheric turn; why she allowed this village to rot at his hands - believe me, I would. [A cold edge in her voice]

Player: Are you faring all right? It can't be easy holding a lone candle in such darkness. Isobel: All things with her strength. You know the litany. [A little sarcastically. She's got a bone to pick with Selûne but isn't being too overt.]

Side note: the amount of devnotes for Isobel's lines that say she's delivering them "with swagger" and being "cheeky" makes me smile every time. Love her. Love her snark.

Also, to get it out of the way: no, I'm fairly sure Aylin did not break her oath. I see this brought up a ton and I just see no way for it to be the case. There is nothing to suggest this outside of a wording similarity and it just makes no sense. Girl is clearly some flavour of Oath of Vengeance (she uses Abjure Enemy, so this is the case even mechanically, even though she's obviously an NPC and not a standard player-build paladin) and she killed a very shitty guy who was also explicitly after her in godawful ways. You can do far worse things in the game than her dramatic speech and backbreaker and not break your OoV.

#sorry this took so long!#baldur's gate 3 #bg3 #dame aylin #isobel thorm #lorroakan #datamine #voice lines #audio #i'm stopping myself here but i could go on about this FOREVER #time for the comfort part of the hurt/comfort let's goooooooooo #oathkeeper replies to things

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olderthannetfic · 4 months ago

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I'm a big mpreg and A/B/O fan who is wondering if anyone else has noticed the weird anti-abortion attitudes in a lot of mpreg and a/b/o? Like where you're "2000s Hollywood movies" levels of characters not even CONSIDERING abortion as an option for unwanted pregnancies (in a universe where this is possible and safe, and where it doesn't make sense with the character's characterization). I get why for plot reasons, abortion isn't as satisfying an end to a certain kind of pregnancy story as having the baby, same as it is in movies that do it. But you can write a character considering abortion and deciding not to get one in a way that doesn't make the option seem horrible and unthinkable or otherwise stigmatize it.

Or the number of people who seem to think abortion is such an inherently "traumatizing" topic that they need to content-warn for even a vague, offhand mention of it. It's one thing if it's graphic surgery or something - I'd probably want a head's up for that no matter what it was, at least in a story where I didn't see it coming - but just mentioning it at all? Abortion is a routine, safe medical procedure in places where it's legal. If you're doing warnings with abortion and no other medical procedures, you're reinforcing the anti-choice idea that abortion is inherently upsetting and sad. It's reinforcing abortion stigma. I've met many, many more people who've had abortions who felt happy about it and wish they could say that without having people treat them like a murderer, than I have people who had the "post-abortion regret" that anti-choice organizations talk about, and my experiences are supported by basically all the statistics about this that aren't from anti-choice political lobbying groups. It's especially egregious when people do this over an early, fully-elective (and legal and safe) abortion - a thing where patients having triggering kind of trauma is so low as to be statistically insignificant - but don't do it over related topics that genuinely contribute to a lot of PTSD, like miscarriage, infertility, adoption, and even fucking child death!!!!! I saw a fic that mentioned ALL of those things in someone's inner monologue considering what he should do about an unexpected pregnancy, but only the abortion part got warned for! Maybe some of that sounds nitpicky, but I personally know people who read fanfiction who like warnings for discussion of infertility/miscarriage because they have a lot of stress and trauma over unsuccessfully trying to have a child, and don't want to be reminded of that in their happy place.

It feels like a thing that's oddly underdiscussed when people talk about things in mpreg and a/b/o that would be kind of questionable to these same authors if they were to encounter it in stories about pregnancy where the character is a woman (like the stories where simply having a working uterus means you are inherently more nurturing or less ambitious or sweeter, or where getting pregnant suddenly makes you like that no matter how you were before). But if anything it's more common. I have to assume a lot of it's because a lot of people writing these were raised with more conservative ideas about abortion and then changed their minds, but didn't really question everything their upbringing taught them about abortions being always tragic or something that you should only do in extreme circumstances or whatever. Something you often see on Tumblr discourse about abortion, too, where people who claim to be "pro-choice" will come u with a list of reasons (disability, gender, just not feeling it, etc.) why it's "not okay" to get an abortion - not getting the point that forcing someone to carry a pregnancy they don't want is a violation of their body autonomy regardless of their "reasoning." The ableist woman who doesn't want a disabled baby still doesn't deserve have to a pregnancy forced upon her by the state!

I have to wonder if it's more noticeable to me because i wasn't raised that way at all, I had pro-choice leftist feminist parents.

Anyway long story short, I've never agreed with the anti take that mpreg or a/b/o are inherently sexist or anything like that. A lot of it is nothing like this! But it's common and I have to wonder if something working within a medium that's considered to be queerer and more progressive sometimes leads people to expose more of these attitudes than they might otherwise. Kind of like how you see a lot of weird sex-negativity in queer and fandom communities because people think merely being queer and in fandom means they can't be conservative, but they haven't actually questioned underlying sex-negative attitudes they have.... and so you get them being susceptible to anti and "kinks don't belong at pride" and such.

It's not inherently sexist, but I'm not sure it's inherently progressive, either? Not that it has to be. But I think my patience for anti-abortion stigma is, given recent big world events, at its absolute nadir lol

(sorry this is so long! guess i had more to say about this than i thought)

Too much American culture, maybe? IDK.

My mother considered abortions to be about like having the doctor remove a tick. I too find a lot of people's pearl clutching bemusing.

I always find it embarrassing in that bad writing OOC way when people don't include abortion where it makes sense or treat it as a Big Deal where it wouldn't be to that character.

However, I do usually expect mpreg fic to be kinking on "Ohhh nooo, now we have to stay together for the baby!" nonsense fantasies. It's one reason I dislike most of it. Given that, I wouldn't read too much into the plague of conservative anti-abortion vibes.

The fandoms that do more with A/B/O world building (giving the betas an actual role, etc.) tend to have more fic where they consider or even get abortions though.

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gryficowa · 2 months ago

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Boycott!

Isn't it funny that the anti-Semitic right sides with Israel? They just suddenly started caring about the problem of anti-Semitism when previously they were spreading it themselves (And they believed in the theory that Jews rule the world)

Now that I have your attention:

---------------------------------------------------

But seriously, who expected that people with fascist views would support a fascist "country"…

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remembrancer-of-heresy · 5 months ago

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Replica (Part 4)

Summary: The iron cage has slammed shut and you will never leave it.

Perturabo/fem!Reader

Warnings: incest (kinda), possessive behavior, manipulation, humiliation, smut (finally :D), dubious consent

Word count: 2601

Finally, after a while, I was able to finish part 4. Perhaps I will write part 5 with the daemon prince, but I need some time for it. Updated the images (what I love about Tumblr is that you reblog the old version of the post, but by going to the original you can see the new version, it's very convenient). Specifically re-read The Hammer of Olympia for this one. I hope you enjoy it, it was a lot of fun to write.

Song: Mitski - Washing Machine Heart

You still remember the first time Perturabo kicked you out because you mentioned Dorn. For two weeks he did not meet with you and did not have a heart-to-heart talk, moving away as far as possible. You thought that the primarch would do the same now, but the very next day he summoned you to his chambers.

You felt awkward for the first hour, but gradually relaxed. But still wondered why the Iron Lord behaved so strangely in the baths. Of course Perturabo was hard pressed by his responsibilities, but his sudden rage was unusual. You haven't done or said anything wrong.

Maybe he changed his mind about you? He realized that he became attached to you when a primarch should not have weaknesses. Does he see you as more than a mortal friend? Does he think of you as a sister or... something more?

These thoughts made you blush, and you hid your face in the book while Perturabo worked on the drawings. No, this is unthinkable. Of course, you knew that the primarchs had families on their planets. Parents, adoptive siblings and friends. But could they have romantic feelings for mortals?

And did you want to become his lover?

You could barely restrain yourself from jumping out of your chair and rushing around the room due to the abundance of thoughts. Feeling a strange sensation, you raised your head and with a gasp saw the attentive gaze of the primarch. You swore he could hear your heartbeat.

“Very exciting poems” - you tried to justify yourself by telling half-truths. You really liked these verses and it would be better if the lord did not know your thoughts. - “I never thought that I would love Olympic poetry about love so much.”

The primarch continued to glare at you and you shifted nervously in your chair. Did you say something bad? Since Perturabo called you, it means he is not offended or angry. But why does every minute with him last like an hour? Why is the room so hot, and the mere sight of a man makes you tremble?

“You can call me Bo.” - the primarch said quietly before turning to the table. - “During this time, I became attached to you almost like a sister. So why not make our communication even more... close.”

You smiled softly, accepting such a wonderful offer with all your gratitude. Your heart was happy. Enough time had passed to experience grief and yet you missed your parents and brothers. It was nice to feel part of the family again. Even if it is so unusual.

You involuntarily rolled your shoulders, throwing off the recent strange hot sensations. It’s as if you felt someone else’s emotions and desires that are unusual for you. But as always, you tried to brush aside the annoying thoughts and continue living in your “dome.”

***

You continued to live carefree, not knowing the sorrows of mere mortals, from time to time forgetting about the monstrous actions of the primarch. He was terrible in anger and did not value people, regarding them only as a piece of meat. He despised the weakest sons, “covered with rust” and unworthy to bear the title of Iron Warriors. He pumped out all the resources from the planets that came his way.

He had told you about his deeds before, but only the tiniest bits. Enough to frighten you and force you to obey him in everything. But you spent much more time talking about more abstract topics. Beautiful and creative. But Fulgrim's betrayal and journey into the Eye of Terror took their toll.

Now the primarch began to pour out his soul to you more and more often, sharing the terrifying methods of the art of war and enslavement. He spoke about the crimes of other legions and the warp space that you recently visited. Perturabo didn't seem to care what you thought about what was happening in the galaxies. You are just an ordinary mortal girl who will not survive in this world without him.

But you were truly frightened when the iron lord told you about the betrayal of Horus, the demons of the warp, the World Eaters and the daemon prince Angron, with whom Inron Warriors would go to their greatest battle. Siege of Terra. The man saw the horror you were in, watched as tears flowed down your cheeks and how awareness gradually came.

“I understand how difficult it is to find out all this. But nothing can be done. The False Emperor must be overthrown, and we will rule the Imperium as we deserve.” - the primarch, grinning darkly, stroked your head. - “I promised to take care of you. And I will continue to cherish you. Nobody cares about you except me. You would have become a slave or fodder for fuel in the hands of my brothers or continuing to live under my father's rule. Without me, you are a mere mortal girl, one of trillions. You are nobody. Nothing."

The man’s words hurt painfully, and yet you pressed closer to him. Thoughts swirled in my head. Your home world was far from the Solar System and yet your life was quite acceptable. You had a loving family, you did not live in poverty, and working as a chronicler was your long-time dream. Rogal Dorn brought your world into harmony, improving life on the planet and you were glad to become part of the Imperium.

But now it was just a dream. A deception. No, the primarch could not lie to you. The Imperium is rotten and sooner or later an unenviable fate would await you. The world was full of dangers and you could not resist these horrors. You would have been torn to pieces, gutted and eaten alive long ago if it weren't for Perturabo. He saved you. If he didn’t need new personal slaves, if you weren’t noticed, then you would... you would...

“Bo,” you whispered chokedly, swallowing tears and trying to calm your breathing. Fragile fingers squeezed the iron lord's tunic with force. - "I'm scared."

The man stopped stroking and you held your breath until you felt the touch of fingers on your chin. The primarch gently lifted your head, forcing you to look straight into your eyes. You could only gasp in horror and the feeling of safety next to Perturabo.

“You mortals do not obey me. You don't know what's good for you. There is no peace and kindness in this world. Only violence.” - your lips trembled and you let out a strangled squeak, feeling the grip on your face intensify. Almost possessively, the man held you close to him, never breaking eye contact. - “You promised that you wouldn’t leave me. So continue to listen to me. Love me and I will build a perfect world for you.”

You cannot stand the excess of emotions and, sobbing, bury your face in the primarch’s chest. Some part of you knew he was fooling himself. He wants to destroy and recreate everything anew just for himself. And you were part of this vast plan, a chaotic and terrifying dream, recreated from the darkest feelings of a primarch.

But the world around you was disgustingly cruel and merciless. You won’t be able to take a single step, the monsters will immediately destroy your body and mind. You didn't have anyone. No family, no friends. There are no enemies left, and the strangers have disappeared. There was no human warmth around you and you didn’t notice how you were left alone in an iron cage. Only Bo was with you. You only had him.

And if Terra must fall for the Iron Lord to be happy, then so be it.

***

He lost. The opportunity to rise was taken away from him. He was deprived of his greatest triumph. The Solar War ended in victory only thanks to Perturabo. He alone bore on his shoulders the responsibility for the entire success of the traitors while the rest of the legions indulged in senseless violence and debauchery.

But the worst thing was that Horus did not allow him to storm the Imperial Palace. He was not allowed Dorn's creation to be destroyed. He was not allowed his once beloved father to laugh in the face, who preferred another son to him. The warrior turned out to be a slave of the Chaos Gods, having lost his power and strength. And his brothers would not have been able to contribute to the war if not for the Iron Lord.

He's so tired of it. Complete disappointment. Retreating to Mars, Perturabo continued to oversee the ongoing Siege of Terra. Rage and resentment overwhelmed him and he destroyed everything that came in his way. He did not spare his creations, nor his slaves, nor his sons. He was humiliated. Again.

He hated them all. And the Emperor, and the loyalist brothers and traitors. They all mocked him. No, that will not do. The Warmaster may win this war, but he won't be celebrating for long. Perturabo will not let them rest on his laurels, oh no. He will rise above them all. The Primarch was humanity's greatest creation, but that was not enough. He needed more strength, more power. He will become a deadly deity who will crush everything in his path. All galaxies will obey him. Everyone will fear and respect him.

He will rule over everyone. And with him his Legion. And with him...

The man stopped abruptly, sucking in a breath and slowly lowering the hammer. Containing his emotions, he slowly walked towards her chambers. How long had he been trying to drown out his feelings, to deceive himself? How long and unsuccessfully have he tried to suppress this desire?

She was a fragile mortal, unworthy of his attention. But she had been a part of his life since his childhood. Crafty and smart, so kind and beautiful. She was weak, but so pleasant and sweet to the taste. Only she was allowed to see his soul hidden behind the iron. He told himself that he almost loved her like the Emperor... No, he loved her much more than his father. And the whole world.

The primarch slowly opens the door and sees you cowering next to the bed, trembling in horror. Of course, you now know about what is happening in the world and what sacrifices Perturabo makes to make your life enjoyable. Besides, you probably heard him raging with anger. Well, now you just have to calm him down.

“Bo?” - your voice trembles with surprise and you almost sigh with relief. You rise to your feet, but you can’t even take a step from the tension. - “Is it over? I-I heard how angry you were. Are you-”

“Take off.”

It's that simple. No confessions of feelings, no long conversations. The primarch did not want to wait any longer. He let you close enough to him. Why use unnecessary words when you can strengthen your connection in such a primitive but intriguing way? You freeze and open your mouth in surprise. Hands tug at the dress, unable to remove the fabric stuck to the body.

The primarch notices a blush on your cheeks. Embarrassment is an unnecessary quality, but he likes to see you in this state. It's quite charming. But he doesn't want to waste another minute. With sharp steps, the man approaches you and with one hand, forcefully tears your dress, exposing your body. You scream and try to cover yourself, but Perturabo grabs your hands, not letting you.

The man swallows, looking at your perfect forms. On your femininity. This is an ordinary human body, nothing special. He had seen naked people more than once, and females too. But you aroused him. The Emperor removed such base desires from the Astartes, but the Primarchs were a different matter. They experienced a greater range of emotions than mere mortals. They knew and saw more. But the war for humanity and service for the Emperor did not give them the opportunity to experience carnal pleasures. To become attached to mortals in a different way.

But now Perturabo no longer serves anyone but himself. And he could do whatever he wanted. With these thoughts, the man begins to touch you, no, caress you. That's what it's called. His hands on your shoulders and waist. Touching your lips, kissing your breasts and stomach. Listening to your breathing. Lower and lower until it reaches your thighs. Primarchs grew up in flasks; they were not born naturally between their mother's legs. And you... you would have been a wonderful mother to his real sons.

The man throws you on the bed and takes off his clothes. It’s good that he took off his armor first. He couldn't stand waiting that long. The primarch climbs on top of you and is displeased to see the fear in your eyes. Because of the difference in height? Women can endure even more than that, and sharing the bed with a primarch should be the greatest honor. Especially with him.

Or is it because of the blood of slaves and sons that got on his face? Still fresh, it dripped onto your body and you shuddered every time. In truth, he doesn't care. Now you are afraid, but soon you will dissolve in him and thank him for this.

Perturabo abruptly enters you, tearing you apart and looking with ecstasy at how your face stretches out in pain. He feels your blood and cannot wonder if he is your first or if your tender body is simply not intended for a primarch. Even if it's not meant to be, you have to accept it.

“Be quiet. Control yourself. I don't want to hear your screams. I don’t want to see you hurt.” - He wants it in some way. Make you suffer for what you did with him. The man moves his hips and you bite your lip. - “I just want to hear your moans. You have to beg me for it.”

The Iron Lord continues to slowly fill you, peering into your face until he notices dramatic changes. How your mouth opens slightly and your eyes close from the rush of feelings.

“Bo, I”

"You were right. I crave love. I want love. And you have to give it to me, you have to.” - the primarch accelerates, not allowing you to get a word in. “They underestimate me, but it only makes things worse for them. I am the grandest, sister. I am superior to everyone in this world. I'm not a boy, I'm a man. And now you see it. You see it.”

Perturabo leans down with difficulty and begins to kiss your neck, leaving hickeys. He remembers the sound of crunching, he remembers blood and dead eyes. It wasn't you. It was a decrepit old woman who called herself you and dared to condemn him. Daring to mock him. And you, crying with pleasure, know your place. So continue to remain at his feet and he will show you a perfect world.

The man groans and pronounces your names, continuing to whisper about his grievances and shout about imminent divinity. Until he finally fills you and sinks onto the bed with a sigh. Burying your small figure with his massive body. Completely unaware of your tears and misunderstanding in your eyes. How a drop of love mixes with true horror.

But if he saw it, it wouldn't change anything. You belonged to him. You were his and only his. The iron cage was finally closed. And now the bird will sing only to him.

#primarch x reader #perturabo x reader #primarch x oc #warhammer 40k x reader #warhammer 40k #tw: incest #tw: yandere #tw: obsession #tw: smut #tw: manipulation

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enlitment · 9 months ago

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A List of Relatable Things Stanisława Przybyszewska has done/written:

Studied philosophy at a university for one semester until "nervous exhaustion forced her to abandon her course"

Dated her letters by the French Revolutionary Calendar

Was known to often be humming La Marseillaise

Called Camille a twink in her play (okay, to be fair she used the word 'ephebe', but I'd argue that is as close to twink as you can get in the 1920s)

Worked at a leftist bookstore (and was subsequently arrested for it)

Took a stray cat from the street which at one point "was the only creature keeping her company"

Complained in at least two letters spanning over 3 paragraphs about a group of loud people playing football near her windows ("For the past forty-five minutes they have not been roaring, they have not been howling, they have been simply shrieking (...) like animals being slaughtered. Screams of that sort must be frightfully tiring for the vocal chords.")

When she wrote "I must write in order to be able to think. As a matter of fact, I am a remarkably unthinking person. Well, of course, that holds true too when I'm talking. But if I don't have either paper, or a human ear to listen to me, then I'm no more of a philosopher than a cat is."

1 + 8 - since I study philosophy at uni & am currently working on my thesis, these felt particularly relatable. I'm not more of a philosopher than a cat is definitely hits. Kind of want to put it in the preface.

2 + 3 are things I may have done myself before (okay, not letters but a diary, but it counts, right?)

7 - as someone who struggles with misophonia, I felt s e e n.

4- I'm sorry guys, I had to. But as someone who frequently asks herself "Are you really calling 30-somethings who have been dead for more than 200 hundred years twinks?", this felt like a vindication of sorts.

Also- I feel kind of conflicted about making this types of Tumblr posts about her since her work is really profound and serious and I have a sneaking suspicion she would have not appreciate them. At the same time, she has been living in my mind rent-free for the past week and this is a way to cope I guess?

SOURCES: 1. A LIFE OF SOLITUDE: STANISŁAWA PRZYBYSZEWSKA Author(s): JADWIGA KOSICKA and DANIEL C. GEROULD Source: The Polish Review , 1984, Vol. 29, No. 1/2 (1984), pp. 47-69 2. BBC Reith Lecture Three: Silence Grips the Town. Dame Hilary Mantel, 2017 3. Stanisława Przybyszewska: A Brilliant Playwright Preoccupied With Revolution. Alexis Angulo. Retrieved from: https://culture.pl/en/article/stanislawa-przybyszewska-a-brilliant-playwright-preoccupied-with-revolution 4. Przybyszewska, Stanisława. 1930. The Danton Case.

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saintmeghanmarkle · 4 months ago

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Sunk Cost Fallacy by u/Apprehensive-Year513

Sunk Cost Fallacy Losing a parent or losing a child, both are unthinkable positions to be in. It is ironic: Harry’s fury about others grieving Diana’s passing juxtaposed to his acceptance of the Pat Tillman Award of which the namesake’s mother disapproves. Harry has used Diana’s passing as a get out of criticism free card that now people have stopped feeling sympathy for him. It isn’t the Royal Family’s fault or the tabloids that have done that. It is him. Harry went from being the favorite prince to the laughingstock the public has boldly rejected.Just when one thinks Harry and Meghan can't possibly top themselves. they still manage to do so. It's as if they are trying to make themselves unlikable on purpose. Which is wild considering they incessantly require so much external validation to function. One cannot claim the moral high ground of slaying media dragons while also destroying evidence in trials. No one condones phone hacking. However, when Harry speaks of it, people roll their eyes. Eventually, the villagers stopped giving credence to the boy who cried wolf. The lack of shame exhibited, for a disgraced prince to accept an award in an American hero’s name, after insulting the very freedoms said hero died to defend. “Bonkers” was the prince’s word. Meghan infiltrated the British Royal Family, telling them how they ought to function. She wasted no time denigrating the same family and the people of the UK. Harry moved to America joining organizations to change the way the citizen’s communicate. They do themselves no favors. No matter the reverberations, they never learn. These two have to flood the media with their faces to publications they know will be friendly to them. They cannot handle an ounce of constructive criticism. They say nothing when their fanbase attacks the elderly, cancer patients, and children. They shield themselves with veterans and humanitarian causes they clearly don't take seriously. They need the PR handouts of more famous people to supposedly vouch for them. They deflect blame, lie, and manipulate easily. Pat Tillman showed courage in the face of adversity. There is nothing courageous about a millionaire Prince who went to “find freedom” by fleeing a Palace to a mansion on a “freedom flight”. Harry has demonstrated his inability to solve personal problems, tell the truth, and handle people disagreeing with him. He has shown the world he possesses the qualities of a coward. He demonstrates no qualities of the British or American militaries. No one is impressed by this couple. Which they are incapable of comprehending why. This couple never changes their stripes. They will continue telling the world how repugnant they are all while trying to convince the masses of their superiority. Harry and Meghan are talented in one regard; never have two individuals torpedoed all sense of public good will at the speed and degree as they have. From a royal dukedom to royal fools. Their public ruination is all attributed to them. While lying about their families, they made it so everything they do is scrutinized tenfold. They win the award for making it so easy for people to mock them. It’s an award they truly have earned. post link: https://ift.tt/ECe3v2M author: Apprehensive-Year513 submitted: July 17, 2024 at 03:51PM via SaintMeghanMarkle on Reddit disclaimer: all views + opinions expressed by the author of this post, as well as any comments and reblogs, are solely the author's own; they do not necessarily reflect the views of the administrator of this Tumblr blog. For entertainment only.

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kth1fics · 2 years ago

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Black Ravens (Masterlist) | KTH

❝What the world has to offer is much greater than you could ever imagine. Your life turns upside down when the captivating establishment, Black Ravens, grants you the unthinkable.❞

♰ 𝕱𝖎𝖈 𝕯𝖊𝖙𝖆𝖎𝖑𝖘

↠ Pairing: Taehyung x Female Reader ↠ Genre: Angst, Fluff, Romance, Smut ↠ Tropes: Vampire AU, Strangers to Lovers ↠ Warnings: vampire!taehyung, humanfem!reader, sugar daddy themes, dom/sub/switch themes, blood/blood play, smut/sexual themes, eventual introductions to other BTS members, original characters and background characters, alcohol/drug mentions; all chapter specific warnings will be labeled! | 18+ ↠ Current Word Count: 28k+ ↠ Status: Ongoing

♰ 𝕮𝖍𝖆𝖕𝖙𝖊𝖗𝖘

⏤ Black Ravens: Pilot (8k+) ⏤ Red Eyes (20k+) ⏤ Hypnotic (9k+) ⏤ Vante (Coming After Part 3) ⏤ MORE TO COME (Coming After Other Parts!)

♰ 𝕰𝖝𝖙𝖗𝖆

Main Masterlist ◈ Mail Box ◈ AO3 ◈ Ko-Fi

© 2022 All rights reserved under kth1fics & @kth1 - do not copy, repost, modify, edit, or translate any of my work without my direct consent. This TUMBLR and AO3 are the ONLY places my fics are posted.

#black ravens #reposted #masterlist #black ravens masterlist #taehyung x reader #taehyung smut #bts smut #bts angst #taehyung x female reader #kim taehyung smut #taehyung fic #vampire taehyung #vampire!taehyung #taehyung fanfic #kth1 #kth1fics

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deathdaydungeon · 11 months ago

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Wrote a short fic for a good friend of mine.

After years of writing without limits, it was incredibly difficult to get it down under 10k (I had gone wildly over the wordcount) - although it was great fun trying to meet the requirements.

Mostly sharing it here to give me the opportunity to post and wish my Tumblr friends a peaceful end of the year.

But also to quietly celebrate that I managed to write and post something. I am still very unwell but 12 months ago, this would've been unthinkable - and I figure it's important to celebrate any progress. 💚

#sshg #snamione #my fic #hope you're all doing well fam

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lokisbirdofhermes · 6 months ago

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White Wolf's Bane Masterlist - Bucky/Reader and Bucky/OFC Series by BirdOfHermes (LokisBirdofHermes)

So I know that I only post my Loki/Reader and Thor/Reader content to this blog, but I felt like I'd be missing out by not posting my Bucky/Reader and Bucky/Original Female Character series here for people to find on their own as well. I'm not sure if people are sharing my Bucky/Reader fics on Tumblr the way they do my Harry/Murphy or Loki and Thor/Reader content, so I'll just dump it here just in case.

This is in chronological order of when I posted them. I'll reblog with updates and new links as I write and post more content.

White Wolf's Bane series page

Anchor: You are the lead agent for a SHIELD tactical unit and you've run several missions with James "Bucky" Barnes, but something awful happens and you're the only one who can help him. Bucky realizes he's not as okay as he thought he was and decides to seek some solace by becoming your friend. And maybe more. Pre Falcon and the Winter Soldier series AU.

The Winter Suitor: In this modern world, Mr. Bucky Barnes is a little behind the times, so he asks you to help him navigate the world of online dating. He's a regular at your diner and so he drops by to get tips on the best way to woo a lady of interest. Turns out, though, maybe you're both wooing someone a little closer to home.

Based on a line from The Falcon and the Winter Soldier show about Bucky trying online dating.

Kick It Up a Notch: You are a SHIELD Agent working with Sergeant James "Bucky" Barnes on an assignment to bring down a Russian arms dealer named Claudia Petrov. You're undercover as the Winter Soldier's new handler, but the arms dealer decides she wants a piece of him in a way that has nothing to do with assassinations. Needless to say, you're unamused and things quickly kick themselves up a notch as you deal with the fallout of her "request." Post Endgame, pre Falcon and the Winter Soldier series AU.

One Size Fits All: You are a SHIELD field agent on assignment with Sergeant James "Bucky" Barnes to retrieve some stolen SHIELD technology at an illegal auction at a white tie event. Out of all the things that could go wrong, your SHIELD-issued disguise doesn't fit due to your shapely body, so you and Bucky are forced to come up with another plan to complete the mission. And as you do, you discover that maybe there is a little more to this partnership than you thought. Pre Falcon and Winter Soldier series.

Thursday Blues: You've come down with a rotten case of the Thursday Blues. Thankfully, it turns out the cure is one James "Bucky" Barnes. Bucky/Reader.

Avenging Angel: You're walking home one night in New York and the unthinkable happens--a mugger attacks you. Fortunately, you have an avenging angel in your corner in the form of one Sergeant James "Bucky" Barnes. Bucky/Reader.

Comfortable: You're pretty sure you were the first SHIELD agent slash spy to ever say the words, “shit, I forgot my weighted blanket.”

In which you, a SHIELD agent working with Sergeant James "Bucky" Barnes on a mission in what remains of Sokovia, forgot to pack your weighted blanket and have anxiety and therefore cannot sleep without it, so Bucky comes up with an alternative solution. Pre Falcon and the Winter Soldier, post Endgame. Bucky/Reader.

El Tango de la Boda: You are a SHIELD agent who gets tapped for a mission with Sergeant James "Bucky" Barnes: attend a wedding and intercept the sale of an illicit item. The catch is the exchange is at the target's wedding, so you and Bucky have to pretend to be a married couple. And you both realize you're way too good at being a fake couple for some reason. Bucky/Reader one-shot.

The Cookout: Sergeant James "Bucky" Barnes has been granted the highest honor: attending your family cookout. However, he knows the only way to be invited back is to make the potato salad properly, so you teach Bucky how to make it and then it's off to hang out with your family. Will Bucky fit in? Bucky/Black Female Reader.

I'm Just a Square in Social Circle: You are having an extremely hard time taking the next step in any of your romantic relationships. You're painfully shy and nervous when it comes to the physical stuff and after a third potential beau turns you down, you ask your close friend Sergeant James "Bucky" Barnes for advice. And it turns out Bucky has an idea. Bucky/Reader.

Die Another Day: Sergeant James "Bucky" Barnes has been kidnapped by ex-Hydra agents who want to turn him back into the Winter Soldier, but they're inside an unsanctioned zone for American agents. You're told that Bucky can't be rescued, but you're not about to sit on your ass and let them torture him, so you plan a rescue by yourself. Bucky/Reader.

Defrosting: You and Sergeant James "Bucky" Barnes are working on an assignment in Siberia to stop a bunch of gun runners, but you fall through the ice on a frozen lake while chasing the suspects and nearly freeze to death. Bucky manages to get you out and, well, there's only one way to thaw you out before you catch hypothermia... Bucky/Reader.

300 Seconds: You are a SHIELD agent working alongside Sergeant James "Bucky" Barnes to take down an incredibly elusive ex-Hydra arms dealer named Ivan Volkov. You receive a tip that Volkov will be at an exclusive BDSM club and it is vital that you secure evidence from his cell phone to arrest and convict him, meaning you need to distract him for exactly five minutes while his phone is being cloned. You and Bucky will pose as a dominant and submissive couple entertaining him for those vital five minutes, resulting in a drastic change in your partnership and relationship. Bucky/Reader.

Just When I Thought I'd Seen It All: Bucky's being dragged to one of Sam Wilson's legendary Halloween costume parties and begs you to go with him so he'll have someone to talk to. You begrudgingly agree to attend and are shocked to find out you and Bucky have chemistry both in and out of the office. Bucky/Reader.

Think Twice: You are a SHIELD agent who's been invited to a work Christmas party and so you beg your close friend, Sergeant James "Bucky" Barnes, to come along with you to keep you company. At the Christmas party, you find out there is a male coworker who is interested in you and suddenly, Bucky says a few things without thinking twice and your relationship is headed for a drastic change.

Kiss of Life: You are the personal assistant to one Sergeant James "Bucky" Barnes--a top notch lawyer who works with veterans. Everything's going great...until one day you come in and find that Bucky is in trouble. It turns out your benevolent boss is actually an incubus whose usual "donors" have suddenly abandoned him, meaning he has to feed tonight or he'll die. And seeing as he doesn't have anyone else, you volunteer as tribute and things get complicated. Bucky/Reader AU.

Nothing Ventured, Nothing Gained: You are a twenty-something who is good friends with Sergeant James "Bucky" Barnes and you have a secret that you've finally resolved to tell him: that you're still a virgin and you were wondering if he would consider being your first. It's a risk for your friendship, but you figure nothing ventured, nothing gained. Bucky/Reader, post FATWS.

It's My Party and I'll Cry If I Want To: It's Valentine's Day and you're throwing yourself a pity party, but one Sergeant James "Bucky" Barnes decides to crash said pity party and things get interesting. Bucky/Reader. Post Falcon and Winter Soldier.

Distracted: You are a SHIELD medic on mission with Sergeant James "Bucky" Barnes and the worst happens--you're caught by a Hydra agent and nearly killed, but Bucky saves you at the last second. You're now left dealing with the trauma of almost dying and the last person you ever expected to console you comes to your aid. Bucky/Reader.

The Buffer: You are a SHIELD agent on an assignment with a team to bust Hydra bases and you get hit with an experimental gun that was powered by the Mind Stone, giving you accidental telepathy and empathy. Bucky offers to take care of you alone since he's got such tight control over his emotions, effectively becoming your emotional buffer until your SHIELD team finds the man who shot you and reverse-engineers an antidote to the telepathy. It's going to be a bumpy ride in the meantime. Bucky/Reader.

A Welcome Distraction: It's one of the worst cliches in all of fiction, but you're smack dab in the middle of it--you come home early from work one night to find your boyfriend cheating on you with another woman, so you head to a nearby bar to drink away your troubles. It turns out that's a bar where Sergeant James "Bucky" Barnes is a regular, and he offers to help take your mind off your woes. Post Falcon and Winter Soldier. Bucky/Black Female Reader.

The Accountant: Sergeant James "Bucky" Barnes is settling into life after the Flag Smashers and needs a little bit of help, which is where he meets you: a SHIELD accountant proficient with SHIELD's wonky printers in the copy room. You strike up a friendship that is going well until one day, a rather unusual circumstance makes you avoid Bucky for the foreseeable future. Will your friendship survive a little awkward thing like having a smoking hot wet dream about the sergeant? Bucky's POV.

Armed and Dangerous: You are a barista at a coffee shop where Sergeant James "Bucky" Barnes begins to frequent. You're fascinated with the sight of him and that vibranium arm, being an engineer working on her masters' degree, but you're too nervous to approach him. Then one day, Sergeant Barnes decides to introduce himself. Two-shot BuckyReader.

Cry to Me: You go over to your boyfriend's place after leaving work early only to find out he's been cheating on you with a coworker. Distraught, you return home and your next door neighbor, Sergeant James "Bucky" Barnes, overhears you screaming at your ex-boyfriend over the phone. It turns out he's a bakery shop owner and offers to make you some sweets to help heal your broken heart and offers to teach you how to make sweets at home. You take him up on the offer and find that Bucky himself is sweeter than anything he makes in his shop. Baker Bucky/Reader AU.

Fractured: You are a former Black Widow who was broken free of the control after Natasha Romanov destroyed the program. You've been using your freedom to right the wrongs that the Black Widow program forced you to carry out, but one night you run into Sergeant James "Bucky" Barnes on an op. You and he were part of a joint venture between the Black Widow program and Hydra to produce another Super Soldier through impregnation, but it never took. And this is the first time you've seen him since you both were freed from mind control, so there is a lot of trauma for two fractured people to get through together. Bucky/Asset Reader.

The Gentle Men: You, a PR rep for the Avengers, just went on yet another absolutely terrible date. Steve and Bucky are sympathetic to your troubles and offer to take you out themselves to show you a good time and to prove there are still gentlemen out there in the world. And things get even more interesting at the end of the night after you make a joke and find out both Avengers are more down bad for you than you thought. Bucky/Reader/Steve. Post Civil War, pre Infinity War AU.

A Cradle Song: You and Sergeant James "Bucky" Barnes are happily married and have been for a couple of years. Bucky returns from a SHIELD mission with some food for thought--parenthood. He asks if you want to have a family someday. After careful consideration, you realize you'd love to have a baby with Bucky Barnes. Bucky/Reader babyfic.

Too Sweet: You are a SHIELD agent who regularly runs missions with Sam Wilson, Steve Rogers, and Sergeant James "Bucky" Barnes. One night after a mission, you get insomnia and can't sleep, so you go make some coffee, intending to bring some to Bucky, only to overhear in his quarters singing a love song and playing guitar. You are absolutely enraptured upon finding that Bucky Barnes has an excellent singing voice and can't resist sneaking back night after night to hear him sing. But maybe Bucky's feelings aren't as mysterious as you think they are...

Bucky/Reader songfic, slight AU.

If you love Bucky/Reader fics, please give me a like or reblog! It would be much appreciated.

I also have a Ko-Fi. I accept fanfiction requests on a case by case basis. You can message me privately on here or on Ko-Fi to pitch a fic to me. Payment can be any amount, doesn't matter, but make sure you send it and get it approved before paying. Also, never mention Ko-Fi on AO3. If you do, you'll get us both banned.

Birdie loves you!

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