#a perfect dweeb

[hunterrrs]

kris and sully gushing about sid… delicious

[kitnita]

jake oettinger postgame   —   DAL vs BUF   —   02.06.24

[how big is that? i know it’s just one win but at the end — i think you could be in first place at the end of the night, and just, uh, i know it’s february but two points are two points.]   yeah, it’s huge, uh, i feel like i was … due, for that. um, i — y’know, i got the bounces tonight, couple posts, couple … couple times i looked like a goalie in the eighties, uh, so uh, just got lucky sometimes, and that’s, that’s what you need. i feel like i haven't got that up to this point, so, played good and got the bounces and got a dub.  [being from out of town, we don’t get to see you play all that often, but since you’ve been back from the injury is this maybe the best you might feel?]   yeah, it might be the best i’ve felt my whole career. so, just, uh … you know, sometimes it goes that way. and you know, it’s almost — i think my night’s almost easier than, you know, UPL’s. it’s tough when the other guy’s getting all the work and then, you know, we come down a two-on-one or breakaway. and he had some huge saves, like, he … he gave them a chance to win, and, you know, they could’ve easily tied that and, you know. so sometimes it’s easier when you’re getting all the work. you’re not — you know, he played really well, and, um, you know. know a couple guys over there, so fun to stop some of those guys.

[ziggy-stardust-is-in-love]

I love you so much you fucking dweeb ❤

AWW YAYYY I LOVE YOU TOOO!!! Someone saw my phone background today (an adorable picture of you) and I got to yap about you the whole classsss, it was perfect.

[opens-up-4-nobody]

The thing about bbc merlin is that the dynamic that's set up between merlin and arthur is so fucking good that I can't even. What can I possibly draw that's gonna encapsulate the feelings between them?

[onepiecethingsilike]

𝒯𝓌𝑒𝑒𝓃 𝒽𝒾𝓂

[venomgaia]

ngl i genuinely wholeheartedly think i paint best in paint tool sai 1.0 theres just smthn so distinct about the rendering thats unique in sai pieces vs stuff i do in csp or procreate. i can get CLOSE but its not the same

[essektheylyss]

I AM attempting to read at least four books this weekend and that IS ridiculous but alas, here we are.

[spirithunterschoolwarpriestfan]

“In the name of Mike Mako, and all that is wet and wild, I punish you for eternity!!! JOHNNY TSUNAMI!!! ”

[yesterdayiwrote]

I'm just a bit younger than Carmen and George and I agree with you there is something about their pictures together that gives me the ick. It almost makes it feel as if they are recreating 'couple' pictures based off a description, there is something about it that just seems strange, I don't know. I get what you mean though about the pictures and the false impression it gives.

For me personally… and this applies to ANY couples photo on Instagram or social media, if neither person in the photo is holding the camera, there’s a 99% chance they’ve asked the person taking the photo to take that specific photo of them.

If you’re out with friends/family/anyone and two people you’re with are having an ‘intimate’ moment, I don’t think it’s in anyones first nature to pull a camera out and take a photo of it unprompted, so nearly all posts you see of any sort of ‘PDA’ are without a doubt staged. I think once you realise that, it’s hard not to see any of them as awkward, because they’re not natural?

As I say, I’m just a cynical person and I have a relative who is treading in influencer culture and so I’ve seen first hand just how different the realities of things can be to what makes it to the grid. It’s a type of content that just isn’t for me, because I just can’t take it seriously.

[skenpiel]

im watching breaking bad n im on the last season but like. theres no way gale WASNT in love with walter right. like thats not just me that was a Thing wasnt it

[harpyartisan]

Absolutely entranced by the idea of an aether reading a book,and once they have absorbed all they want from a page, back and front... they tear it out and eat it. Tragedy ensues when they forget to read the other side one day and thus, cannot finish the book

[therainbowgorilla]

When you're allistic and your girlfriend is autistic

Or you're both autistic but have drastically different interests but still love each other enough to deal with it

I love this style she's a giant dork

[a-very-bad-idea]

my dad calls these dumpster trucks

[saviourkingslut]

watching roy versus lust a MILLION times i am NEVER going to get tired of that fight. the voice acting is so sexy he is my fucking everything

[wattyx]

Sea Addle

[cheer-nympho]

Steve had been conned into chaperoning the kids to a ren faire.

Admittedly with very little resistance, but he was keeping that to himself. Once there and with their bags packed away into some apparently theme appropriate tents he had shrugged on some medieval casual clothes and…immediately lost track of all of them,

But a figure he did spot was a long haired Jester entertaining a small entourage with juggling,

Steve finds himself laughing slightly condescendingly at the jingling man. Why do people find juggling so impressive?

He picked it up straight away with some hackey sacks while bored between practices. He’s just good with his hands.

When he looks back up to get another glance in however, the jester isn’t perched on top of his little rock anymore and the crowd has merged with the other dweebs.

Steve stares at the empty space for a moment before a jingle right by his ear spooks him into turning around.

“Art thou not impressed by my amazing skills, your lordship?” The jester asks, swaying on his feet and causing the bells all over him to ping, grin wide and mocking.

And up close Steve notices one very important, very dangerous thing.

This court jester is really fucking hot.

He looks like an idiot, a nerd, a dweeb. Its hard not to in a pointy hat. But he also wore it too well, looked too perfect like that.

Steve notices the…is that..? Yes, the corset wrapping tightly around the mans waist, red and black diamonds decorating the sides and leading to small puffy shorts. His legs are covered in tight black leggings which should look ridiculous. It should.

An obnoxious cough and head tilt-jingle make Steve aware that he has been staring at the mans waist for way longer than was ‘bro code permitted’

He looks up with a wince, expecting a look of disgust ranging from mild embarrassment to punch-your-lights-out.

He was, instead, greeted by a smug and knowing smile. The red and black triangles painted over the mans eyes warped where the grin reached them. “Or maybe thou art impressed, but skills are not what draw thine eyes.”

Shit. Fuck. The stupid hot nerd is using stupid nerd speak on him. And Steves stupid nerd, apparently ‘very accurate’ pants are getting tighter. He needs to say something. Anything.

“You’ve got…bells.” Okay, maybe not anything. He used to be better at this shit.

He is rewarded with a wild, joyous laugh as the jester throws his head from side to side. “I do! Isn’t it amazing?The staff insisted on it so they could hear me coming.”

“It certainly makes an impression-“

“Eddie, names Eddie. And what does my lordship go by?”

“Steve is fine.”

“That he is…” The comment was punctuated by a less than subtle glance, almost a leer. “However, Fine Steve seems unimpressed with my merrymaking. As the official court jester, I cannot let that stand.” He stamps his foot, causing another cacophony of jingles.” “Therefore…”

“…Pick a card any card!” A pack of standard cards was presented to him with a flourish, but all he could do was roll his eyes.

“Come on, really? This shit is basic. All I have to do it watch your hands. You’ll swipe my card out and put it back in later, or mark it somehow.”

“Ooo his highness has it all figured out doesn’t he. Well then, princess, you have nothing to lose by picking a card, do you?” And that was…true. Plus he could maybe try to fix his previous fumble and try to claw a number out of this disaster.

So with another bitchy roll of his eyes, Steve plucks a card from the deck and hides it behind his palm. Two of Hearts.

Then out of nowhere… “You know, Stevie, if you think I’m pretty you can just tell me. I know the kingdom would approve not of a noble like yourself marrying a commoner like me, but they need know little of how we…” He begins to reshuffle the cards, motioning for Steve to place his chosen one back in before making some very obvious, very crude movements with his fingers. “…get to know each other in the meantime.”

He was going to die. In the middle of a nerd fest.

“Well, my lord…” Eddie continues, circling him while dragging a finger across his arms and shoulder blades before coming to a stop in front of him. A very bold hand takes Steves jaw and forces his head up, pretending to inspect something on his costume for any bystanders.

“If you would like some more…close up demonstrations…” He leans in tightly, still holding Steve’s jaw in a tight grip. “You can pay me a visit in staff cabin 23 tonight.” He strokes a piece of hair gently behind Steve’s ear before pulling out a card, as if from said ear.

Steve was glad that Eddie took the initiative to carefully pull his hand up and place the card into his palm, because currently Steve was too preoccupied with staring like a fish out of water into Eddies eyes. Everything about him was just so captivating, so alive.

Maybe that’s why he did little more than step forward aimlessly, with small grabby hands when Eddie pulled away. Before Steve could even process it, the bells and jingles had mingled back into the crowd. But that was…that was okay. Cause he could go to the…cabin?

But how was he supposed to- Oh. He looks down. On the card was a loosely clipped room key with a ‘23’ crudely engraved into the edge as if by a pocket knife.

The card itself, to his horror, was the Two of Hearts.

Shit.

He forgot to watch the fucking hands.