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honorarysimp · 4 months ago

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Epilogue: Ex Nihilo Nihil Fit

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*Click*

“It’s currently sometime around 10AM this lovely Saturday, my final day in Woodsboro, as I conclude this investigation.”

A small, soft smile tugs at your lips as you sip a cup of coffee you’d gotten from the hotel lobby just earlier.

You have no questions for your coffee anymore.

Your other hand fidgets with your tape recorder, dials spinning within at that familiar slow and methodical pace.

“It’s been three months since the face off on the lakeshore, I find relief in stating on record we’ve finally found bodies, after a bit of patience and reassurance on knowing the lake is currently safe, multiple remains were found in ravines underneath the town, all connected by water channels that span for miles.”

You take a deep breath, wetting your lips as you sit the tape recorder down on the desktop, taking another sip of your lukewarm coffee before quietly continuing.

“Dental records as well as DNA analysis has brought many families peace. Including one Mrs. Becker who will no longer be calling the station every other month. I’ve come to a private conclusion that the entity isn’t invincible, after the face off against it, without a water source it’s required to take a physical form. Which explains how I was able to fight back at the abandon house, without its water and fog, it is vulnerable. If it can be hit, it can be killed.”

Your gaze wanders over your shoulder, heart fluttering at the bare back and mess of brown hair splayed across the pillow.

“And with me, I will be signing off giving all credit to my partner in crime, my beautiful plus one-“

“Watch it. Confirmed girlfriend” you hear Tara’s drowsy voice correct you, making you laugh softly as you sling your arm over the back of the chair and give your spine a little twist, satisfying pops following.

“-unconfirmed if Sam asks” you mutter jokingly before promptly cutting the tape recorded off, that audible click following as you peer back to Tara. She hums, stretches as she sits up, the muscles in her back flexing as she runs her fingers through her hair in an attempt to somewhat tame her bed head.

God, she’s beautiful, you can’t help but just look at her.

The last three months have been blissful, heavenly compared to the shitshow you’ve been through those three months prior. It’s still mind boggling to you just how long you’ve been here, on the excuse of “finishing your job” you came here for in the first place.

Not for sitting in that diner on certain late nights, meeting with a certain first responder as she’s getting off shift, to which you either end up at hers or your shitty hotel room.

Tara says it’s endearing, you hate the uncomfortable mattress, but it’s grown on you too. You’ll never admit it.

When you aren’t worshiping the ground Tara walks on, you’re at the Station with Sam, working with her and the rest of the officers on the searches.

Sam knows, you’re ninety percent sure Tara told her, but she never asks and you’re okay with that.

A hand on your arm snaps you out of your thoughts, it’s then you realize Tara had shifted to the edge of the bed closest to you, that smile paired with those hooded brown eyes do something sinful to your insides.

“Come on, it’s cold without you, finish later” Tara murmurs, biting her bottom lip as she reaches further to give your shirt the smallest tug, the sheet that once elegantly covered her now dipping “I know by now that mouth is good for more than talking to that stupid thing.”

God, the things this woman does to you, how could you ever deny her?

____________________________________________

It’s surreal, packing, tidying up the hotel room that’s become almost like a second home. Even with all things considered, or maybe it just started to feel like that in a fucked up way once the nightmares stopped.

You scoop an old pack of cigarettes off your desk, eyeing them for a moment. You don’t even know the last time you smoked one, and to be frank, you aren’t even sure why you haven’t tossed them yet. So, you do, walking over to trash where remains of your investigation board can be seen.

“Good riddance” you mutter as you drop it into the bin, taking a deep breath as you do a once over of the room, then you grab your single duffle and backpack.

As you head out, you offer a nod Bianca behind the front desk, the older woman smiling and giving you a departing wave goodbye.

As you head out of the hotel, a small smile tugs at your lips at the view.

Leaning back against the hood of your car is Tara, palms flat to the metal as she laughs warmly at something Mindy says to her, the other woman sat next to her while Chad stands off to the side with a smile of his own.

It makes you sad, to know this is all Tara has left of her friends she’s grown up with, she’s told you plenty of stories of the others to make you feel like you knew them to a certain extent.

You feel bad you’re taking her from them, even temporarily.

“You know, you still owe me a ride around in that ambulance of yours” you comment as you approach, Mindy scoffs and rolls her eyes at you.

“I don’t know how many times I have to tell you that making a bet drunk on a game of pool doesn’t count?” Mindy retorts, the same reply as always, “and I don’t owe you shit considering you’re taking my second in command.”

“You’ll be fine for two weeks without me” Tara says with a smile, which prompts Mindy to hug her, making Tara promise to call every day.

Chad follows you around to the backside of your car as you drop your bags into the trunk, next to Tara’s suitcase, your insides churning with a mixture of emotions.

“You know you don’t have to” he says to you, arm coming up to grab the opened trunk as you busy around adjusting things within.

“No, you were right. He should know” you reply, casting him a side glance, “besides I think it’s long overdue, just… be easy on him when he does yeah?”

Chad scoffs and looks off to the side, shaking his head, you see a retort on the tip of his tongue. Pulling back, you both tug the trunk down, lock clicking into place.

“Hey” you stop him before he continues, your head tilting slightly, “you don’t need to forgive him, but it wouldn’t be fair not to give him the opportunity.”

He doesn’t comment, seemingly shaking it off and offering you a half smile “just take care of Tara and bring her back in one piece, alright Detective? Don’t let her get lost in that big ass city of yours.”

You laugh and nod in agreement, extending your hand to which he firmly shakes, pulling each other in for a friendly hug.

“Congrats on the promotion by the way, the High School football team will be lost without their coach” you say as you bump your shoulder to his, he laughs and waves it off as you two round the car once more.

“I’m looking forward to seeing how he’s going to keep those kids in line as a Principal when they barely respected him as a coach” Mindy butts in, causing the twins to break out into a light hearted disagreement.

You smile, turning your head when you feel a finger hook into your pant pocket and tug, your eyes finding Tara’s as she mirrors your smile up at you.

“Sam’s going to meet us at Town Hall, said she had some last minute things to go over with the Mayor. Figured we could make it a two birds with one stone scenario for us” Tara says as you move toward her, standing between her legs as she sits back on the car.

“We can’t just avoid Sam all together?” you mutter jokingly, reaching up to curl a strand of her dark hair around your finger, she scoffs and gives you a look.

“She’ll hunt us down if we don’t, bury you alive, and drag my ass back home.”

You feign a gasp, mortified as you begin to lean away from her “I was buried alive thank you very much, how dare you bring that up-“

She cuts you off with a kiss, laughing softly against your lips. You can help but sink into it, hand coming up to gently cup her jaw.

When she pulls back you groan in protest, making her laugh and swat your chest playfully. You catch her hand, kissing the soft pink scar on her palm, making her breath hitch just the slightest.

Physical therapy hadn’t been easy for either of you, considering the small bit of nerve damage from your injuries. Tara had pushed through in strides far better than you, constantly reminding you that “what happened to us shouldn’t define the rest of our life”.

You couldn’t agree more.

Not to mention the “us” and the “our” she so easily refers to now when it comes to the two of you.

God, you don’t deserve her, but you’ll spend every day doing everything you can for her.

As you bid the twins tearful exchanges goodbye, the two of you slip into your car and head towards Town Hall.

Upon entering, you both make your way up to the Mayor’s office, where you find Sidney in the midst of a conversation with Sam. The two turn as you enter, you tip your imaginary hat towards them both.

“Mayor. Sheriff.”

Tara steps to the side with Sam, briefly hugging before running through a checklist of things Tara may need for her trip. Of course Tara plays it off like she’s annoyed by her older sister’s overprotective nature and concern, but you’ve learned to spot that smile she tries so hard to hide.

“Dinner still on for tonight?” You ask Sidney with a smile, approaching her desk as she rounds it to the other side, digging through one of her drawers.

She casts you a glance, a small smile of her own growing on her lips, it’s good to see her doing better as the days go. “That they are, it’ll be the first time in a few years that Jill and Kirby come back to town.”

“And Gale?”

“She’ll be there of course, still keeping herself as busy as possible” Sidney says as she pulls out a large envelope from her desk, straightening up and forcing her smile a bit more.

You pick up on it immediately, “she’s still talking about moving to the city?”

Sidney sighs, coming around the desk to stand in front of you, tapping the envelope against her free hand apprehensively.

“It’s just… we’re all we’ve got now, it’s going to be hard to see her leave” Sidney admits quietly, looking off to the side as she chews on the subside of her cheek, “but… I understand, needing to go. This town only reminds her of the man she lost.”

Your head tilts slightly, tucking your hands into the pockets of your pants “and you, Mayor?”

She gives you a tight lipped smile, steeling herself as she extends the envelope to you “your final paycheck, Detective. Thank you, for everything. I owe you a debt I’ll never be able to repay.”

With that, you smile again, tugging your backpack off your shoulder and pulling from it your box of tapes. “For you, Mayor” you say, trading her the content within for the envelope.

Her brow is furrowed, looking from the box in her hand up to you, “they’re mine, they have everything you might need to know on them with what all I know, you can repay me by not calling me if and when it ever returns.”

That makes her laugh, nodding once, extending one hand to which you shake, “it’s been a pleasure, Detective, we’ll be seeing you.”

You turn and head towards the Carpenter sisters, both now smiling and talking with less tension.

“Danny has family in New York, so if you keep her for too long, just know I’ll be coming to find you” Sam says the moment you approach, her hard gaze locking on to you.

It’s still as intimidating as the day you met her, but only now you can’t help but smile when Tara slips her hand into yours and laces your fingers together.

“You have all the information on where I live, and you’re both more than welcome to come stay if-“

“Okay! So great, bye Sam! Love you!” Tara interjects, pulling at your hand as she heads for the door.

“Bye Sam! Love you!” You echo, making Sam flip you off as you and Tara move through the threshold, you catch her smiling before she disappears from your view.

As you both get back into the vehicle, you start up the engine just as Tara buckles herself in, and for a moment you pause.

“Don’t. Get out of your head. I’m with you.”

You exhale, looking to her at the sound of her soft tone “but are you sure you want to use all your PTO for this? Just-“

Tara leans across the center console, fingers curling around the back of your neck to pull you forward for a sweet, passionate kiss as a symbol of reassurance.

And when you break apart, albeit just resting your foreheads together as your eyes meet, Tara murmurs “you’ve been in my world for a minute now, it’s my turn to see yours.”

The muscle in your jaw flexes as your teeth clench and unclench, your heart fluttering in your chest “okay, whatever you want.”

“I want you to get me the fuck out of this hellhole, hot shot” Tara says with a full smile that sends a sharp hot jab to your gut, giving you one last chaste kiss before sinking back into the passenger seat.

You mentally add that to the list of things you can’t tell her no to, which seems to grow exponentially the longer you two are together.

You pass by the diner on your way out, and your chest aches, you’ll miss it. Tara seems to read your thoughts, as she rests her hand atop yours on the gear shift. Your eyes meet for a moment and you share a silent look of understanding.

You don’t tell her about your last minute pitstop until you’re pulling down a familiar street, the side glance she gives you tells you all you need to know.

“What-“

“Chad asked me not to say anything, since you’re not really a fan of him” you answer before she can finish, parking the car and looking to her “at least until we got here.”

Her eyes narrow, jaw set as she leans back into her seat “unbelievable, what else are you keeping from me?”

“I’m pregnant and you’re the father” you say without missing a beat.

Instantly she’s fighting back a smile, scoffing and punching your arm as you unbuckle your seat “you’ve got fifteen minutes or I’m breaking up with you.”

“I’ll do it in ten” you say with a wink, quickly slipping from the car and briskly making your way inside.

When you knock, it’s in a far more calmly manner than the last time you were here, your hear the locks click before Randy peaks past the door.

“You’re alive.”

“We did it.”

He opens the door fully, one hand on the doorframe while the other loosely gripped the knob. A dry laugh comes from him, followed by “bullshit, how?”

“It’s not permanent, but we were able to find something temporary” you begin to quickly summarize “I came to tell you that you can go home, Billy and Stu are dead. So is Dewey.”

Randy winces at that, face twisting as he looks away, you continue by softly adding “your family needs you, Sidney needs you.”

For a moment he’s quiet, and then he turns to head back into his apartment, leaving the door open. Unsurely, you enter and follow after him.

You catch a glimpse of him popping free the same floorboard from last time, and from it he pulls a few pieces of paper. But upon standing and approaching you, your stomach sinks as you take in that familiar yellow stained parchment.

Your eyes move between them and Randy’s face a few times, the air sucked from your lungs.

“You tore them out? You had them the whole-“

“Take them” he says, holding them out to you, “I ripped them out when I’d learned just how powerful they were, what the contain, do with them what you please.”

Curiosity gnaws at your mind, but as always, the same singular factor holds you back. The thought of her does that to you now, considering just how much you now have to lose.

“I need to know… did you steal the book from Billy?” You ask him, the way his body stiffens answers your question.

Randy hesitates, but answers after a moment “long story short? I found out Billy had a daughter with a random we went to school with. Billy offered the book to me as a trade, saying it could save Sidney’s life, so long as I never spoke a word about what I knew. If only I’d known Billy had fucked me over the moment he gave me the book.”

You process this new information, your brain feeling like a needle skipping on a record “what- how did you find out? How were you certain?”

“Back then I had my hand in everything. If I didn’t know you to know what you knew, I knew someone you trusted that knew what you knew” is all Randy gives you, looking down to the pages in his hand then back up to you “do you want them or not?”

Still curious and hesitant, you ignore his question “do you know the identity of the child? Does she know who her father is?”

Randy shakes his head firmly, “it’s in the child’s interest that she never knows. So I’m taking this one to the grave, not for Billy, but for that poor kid.”

In a way you understand, Billy wasn’t the best, and if Randy found out about this kid back when they were in high school then she probably would be a little older than you. If you dug, you could very well find out who.

But Randy is right, why do that to someone, and get stamped as a bastard child of a psycho?

You take the pages from him and tuck them in your pocket without reading them, “go home Randy, you’re now unburdened and have run out of excuses to avoid it any longer.”

Neither waiting for confirmation or a verbal response, you turn on your heel and exit the apartment swiftly, heading back to your car.

“Nine minutes, you cut it close” Tara says the moment the car door closes behind you, already smiling when you look to her.

“Early is on time, on time is late” you laugh as you shift the car into drive and exit the parking lot, back on the road, no more stops. At least, not until you get to the first hotel for some sleep on your roadtrip to New York.

“You ready for your VIP front row seat to seeing the span of the whole country?” You say with a half smile, every nerve in your body lighting up as her arm drapes across the space between you and rests on the back of your seat, her fingers gently massaging the back of your neck.

“I didn’t know a view could get better than this” Tara whispers softly, tone vulnerable as her head tilts back on to her headrest, gazing over at you with that becomingly familiar gleam of adoration in her eyes.

This is where you decide you’ll burn the pages first chance you get, the promise of answers and knowledge isn’t worth losing Tara.

Tara fidgets with the radio, converse propped up on the dash, the small crack in the window making a subtle mess of her hair.

She’s beautiful. She’s everything to you.

Your eyes linger on Tara for a moment before you return your eyes to the road, content in your belly and a sense of home in your heart. As the radio crackles and a song begins to play, your eyes catch a street sign off to the right of the road.

Now Leaving California

Come Back Soon!

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AN: thank you all for following along and reading this story! It’s been a pleasure, an honor, and a privilege.

#tara carpenter #tara carpenter x reader #tara carpenter x y/n #tara carpenter x you

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blucassiopeia · 1 year ago

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"A prelude spin-off for an upcoming fic"

warnings: afab!reader, reader being 5 years older, 8.6k LONG

A Sakusa Kiyoomi x reader oneshot

a/n: solid clue on this; sorry for the delayyy, a lengthy one to compromiseee

"What do you want? I still haveー"

"C'mon, Kiyo. You just got back here from Osaka."

"Then, speak. Stop hitting around the bush. You know I don't like hospitals."

"She's gonna be here any moment. Just be patient, son."

Kiyoomi grunted as he sat back on his dad's office couch. The office was rather modern, his dad desperately riding Kiyoomi's generation. Though, it has their big family portrait just right off his humungous desk that he remembered was from Barcelona. His desktop was coated with orange fluffy cloth siders, probably a gift of Sara's, Kiyoomi's 4-yr-old nieceーand it was paired with a keyboard and mouse of the same shade. It practically throws off the white and classy vibe of the place. He smiled at the thought.. but this is all till in a hospital's vicinity. Kiyoomi's stomach started stirring.

"So, how's your team? Are you fitting nicely?" His father asked as Kiyoomi fiddled with his phone, huffing through his black mask, very anxious to leave.

"Sort of. We have the leagues next three months."

"Oh fuck off. The chief resident asked you, not me."

"Please."

The door flung open and revealed you in your scrub suit and gown, tongue mockingly out to someone behind the door. You, then, slid inside the office and closing the door, your eyes fell on Kiyoomi first, and then to his father. Kiyoomi has to inch the distance more from the smell his nose registered. Where would she had been? Germs. Germs. Germs.

"You called for me, Sirーah, Doc?"

Kiyoomi didn't spare you a glance, still fiddling at his phone, maybe trying to give his volleyball team captain a text or two of any nonsense to keep him visually busy. He just wants to get out of that place. His system is screaming already. He might want an alcohol bath, uh, that's too much. How does his family doing it likeー

"That's my youngest right there, Kiyoomi." The chairman of the hospital gestured to the curly black-haired man sitting dejectively on the couch, trying his hardest to ignore your presence. You perked a brow.

You leaned to the chairman, in the attempt to whisper. "And? I don't babysit teenagers, Doc. Too busy in becoming the medical director that I promised you."

Kiyoomi happened to glance at your direction when his father laughed lightly at whatever you whispered to him. He noticed your pout as you straightened your back, your gown's fabric crinkling at the movement. What were you even whispering to an old, married man? His nose scrunched up behind his mask, returning his attention to his phone.

"Take him to dinner, Y/n."

Both of your heads snapped at Sakusa Takashi that's already beaming at you, clearly pleased at what he said.

"Whー" Kiyoomi started to retort but you raced him to it first.

"I'm still comfortable in third-wheeling with Dai or with Katana-nee, Doc. Are they whining over me already?" Your feet stomp at your every word, whining like a child.

Kiyoomi wondered how did you even know his brother, or his cousin. Are you acquainted with the rest of his family? He doesn't recognize you from the numerous family occasions, or in any business functions where you could possibly be but remained unnoticed to him. Ugh. He knows where this is going. This also happened to his sister, that she somehow liked after years. He shivered at the thought.

He can't take the atmosphere of the office anymore so he stood up and said, "I'm going home."

"And he's this rude, Doc?" You smirked at Kiyoomi's direction, the ChairmanーKiyoomi's fatherーmirroring you, teasing his youngest son.

Huh. Is this a challenge?, Kiyoomi thought as he stared straight at his dad, black eyes hardly pass your figure. He scoffed at his father that mouthed 'Just once.' And he bored his eyes on yours and sighed.

You clasped your hands together, easing the tension Kiyoomi was giving you. "So, gimme an hour or two and I'd be ready, Kiyo. Orrrー" You faced the chairman and winked at him, knowing fully well that he knew what you're going to do with his beloved son. "ーbe with me in my rounds."

When you turned back to face Kiyoomi, you were greeted by his twitching eyes behind those round and delicate thin rimmed glasses. You returned them with a sly grin.

Kiyoomi found himself trudging after you to wherever. He actively convinces himself that this is better than waiting on that area where various people flocksーthe germ and virus infested waiting area at the lobby. This is better than staying on his dad's office where he'll just not hear the end of a discussion he doesn't want to associate with. Being with you is better. Yes, being with you is better.

You rounded to a hallway and he lifted his eyes from your back when he heard a familiar voice in the nearby nurse stationーto which you're heading to.

"The patient in 302 has to have his rehabilitations in 3 hours. Is the facility ready?"

"Yes, Doc."

"Dai, are you seeing what I'm seeing?"

You heard Kiyoomi groaned at your back as Daisuke and Katana spotted you approaching with their Kiyoomi. Their eyes are on him, round with bewilderment and surprise. You snorted. They are the culprits, the nerve of them. But eitherway, it's turning out well. Hopefully.

"Kiyoomi?"

"Is that their volleyball player?"

"Doc Takashi's youngest! Sakusa Kiyoomi!"

"He's so tall!"

"So hot lookーI mean, good looking!"

"He looks like a rougher version of Doc Dai."

Daisuke was the first one to approach his brother. Kiyoomi took a few steps back from him to which he chuckled. He glared at his brother through his glasses, daring him to approach further. Daisuke's tied black curls swayed as he moves his head to face you, hands in either sides of his waist, his gown pushed back revealing his branded slacks and dress shirt. Yeah, Kiyoomi's a rougher version alright.

"Ah, thanks Y/n, but how did you do this?"

His soft and genuinely amused laughs filled the hallways, followed by Katana's. The other fellows, nurses and residents nearby turned to the sound. You mentally noted that if Kiyoomi hasn't been wearing his mask, you'll see how red his cheeks were. Daisuke and Katana are sure to know how to tease him. You pursed your lips, not knowing whether to laugh with them or sympathize with his agony.

"Rounds." It was dangerously low that it had stuttered Daisuke's laughs. Kiyoomi's head was facing you, dark eyes demanding.

"Rounds, Y/n? With Kiyo?" Katana asked with pure curiosity as she motioned herself closer to you, her eyes on Kiyoomi.

"Who's with Sara right now?"

"Toya."

"Yeah, we have to have dinner by 6:30pm so he can go home early." Both of your fellow doctors turned wide-eyed to you from what you have just said. You rolled your eyes at them. "You whined at Sir Kashi about me third-wheeling on your respective dates. Can't believe you."

The two are still dumbstruck when you turned to Kiyoomi who's getting grumpier by the second. "Let's go?" You, next, called out to the interns at the back of the nurse station. "Those who wants to come with me for reports, let's go."

Katana rushed to the nurse station and opened a drawer hastily and went back in a matter of seconds, handing something to Kiyoomi. You peered at her extended hand and found two cute plastic vials of sanitizers, to which he gladly accepted. You heard stories of Kiyoomi from his siblings and cousins and how he hates crowds so much, anti-social.. and a germaphobe. You were even surprised he followed you to your rounds.

"Take care of my brother, Y/n." You didn't miss the dazed and stuttering tone of Daisuke as he patted your shoulder. He also placed a hand on Kiyoomi's shoulder as the latter carefully lather some of the sanitizer in his hands and sniffed it. Daisuke gave a squeeze at his shoulder before patting it twice. "Kiyo."

The interns and a nurse came filing up behind you, ready for the rounds. You took the walk to the ward when Katana called out, "Kiyo, be kind, okay?" Kiyoomi grumbled at your side to which you giggled. He shot a glance at you and furrowed his brows. You playfully turned your eyes away from him and stuffed your hands on your gown's pockets.

"Dai? Dinner? Seriously?"

"Dad. It's Dad."

Kiyoomi felt like running when he first stepped into the first ward you picked to do your rounds. He overheard your conversation with the one girl intern that you have two patients here. He took a deep breath and followed you inside.

"Mommyy~ how's the stitches? Is it still painful and itchy? How are you feeling?"

"Jii-saaaan~ how is the therapy? Are your movements doing fine? No reactions?"

"Baby~" He heard you cooed at that one kid on the second ward you lot went in. You sat in his bed and carefully patted his head. "Why are you crying? Does it still hurt?"

Kiyoomi has to turn his eyes away from your figure and unintentionally coughed. He mumbled a low sorry, thankfully of which you didn't hear.

"Tall curly man." His eyes turned back to the crying kid. The kid's eyes were on Kiyoomi as you looked with him with soft eyes. Kiyoomi thought he might be 6 or 7 years old. So young to be in a hospital. His eyes steeled and cold as he remembered something of which he shouldn't.

"I'm gonna wait outside."

You looked at Kiyoomi with concern and nodded. "One more room upstairs and we're off." Kiyoomi nodded as he took the exit of the ward. He can still hear the kid's cries from here so he distanced himself more, enough that he can see you walk out of the room anytime.

The ride was silent. Very uncharacteristic of you. Kiyoomi was silent, well he always is. You wanna ask about that cough and walking out a while ago but you thought that he maybe just be too grossed out at the patients. You suddenly felt guilty of making him accompany you in your rounds. You bit your lip as your hand knuckled up on the stirring wheel.

You badly want to break silence so, "Where should we eat?"

"Wherever you wish."

You glanced at him and found him staring at the view of bustling nightlife of Tokyo. You sighed and drove to your med friends' go-to fine dining. Well, you're assuming Kiyoomi would like it considering he's from a well-off family.

He waited for you to round up to him from the driver's side, you fixing your blouse as you approach him. Kiyoomi never got a good look of you in the hospital but now, amidst the glowing dim light of the restaurant and the parking lot's lamp post nearby, he sees you clearly and radiantly. It took him over a minute to stop his intrusive thoughts while you were still fixing your blouse and hair, unaware of his eyes, and so he motioned to the entrance of the restaurant.

"You're not allergic to anything?" He shook his head in response as he opened the door for you, to which your brows perked for a millisecond.

You ordered directly after being seated. The modern Japanese style fine-dining restaurant that you're in has a romantic ambience. Candles are lit and it's a bit dark, with just a low and very dimly-lit chandelier on each section of the space. Your friends would often take you here when they have to have a relaxing dinner after a toxic shift. And it is relaxing. You wonder if Kiyoomi's feeling the same.

He's exuding a laid back expression with a glint of disapproval to the whole situation you're both in. You're not dumb as to not know what the Chairman wants to happen with the both of you. You sighed. Just try, huh. Okay.

"So, Kiyo" You started, and his eyes darted to you from his phone, the candle giving it an unfathomable impression. You gulped. "When's the start of the season?"

He sighed and his gaze fell back to his phone. "In three months."

"MSBY, right? Of Osaka?" He nodded, eyes still on his phone. You chewed your cheek as your lashes kept fluttering on his direction, brows visibly furrowed at his loss of interest.

"How's Inunaki?"

Kiyoomi's brows were the first to react. It shot up, dragging his eyes with it, and then his head till you have his full attention, phone already discarded at the table.

He obscurely coughed, "You know him?"

You nodded, remembering the days when you dated the sweet libero. He was cute, but then you broke up with him to focus on your profession. It was a clean break though. No more strings attached. You were just reminded by him because the gentleman right in front of you is on the same team as your ex-boyfriend.

Kiyoomi was running his tongue on the backs of his teeth as he studied your face. You knew their team's libero. And your facial expression now was just like when he saw you talking with Daisuke earlier.

"He's fine. He's staying with our captain in their house just off Kita District. He might be off to Osaka next week with him." You hummed softly and it sent shivers on him, it made his thighs pop anxiously underneath the table.

He knows what's happening. Fuck, he knows what's happening. Can't believe it's actually happening at this certain point in his life. He remembered those incessant talks with his friends on his volleyball batch, especially talks with Atsumu and Kenji. He tilted his head as he stares at the spot on the table directly in front of you, not daring to look you in the eye.

"Howー" He was cutted off when the food arrived at your table. Thankfully. He didn't know what's gotten into him that he was about to ask something he shouldn't. He bit his lip behind his mask as he watched the food getting arranged in the table.

You're still dazed at how Kiyoomi suddenly poured you a bit of his attention by just mentioning Shion when suddenly, he got rid of his mask so casually you didn't have time to brace yourself. You found yourself staring at his features as a whole. His nose perfectly fitted his handsome face, thin-lipped, smooth cheeks and sharp jawline. You found your eyes trailing to every nook of his face and found his eyes in the process, staring back at you.

"Wow. You're handsomer without the mask, Kiyo."

Kiyoomi raised a brow as he placed a plate full of sushi and sashimi in front of you. "And you're saying that so casually, thanks." You didn't miss the little quiver of his bottom lip as he spoke, red ears still evident within the orange light from the candles.

You smiled while prepping your chopsticks. "Well, we're already grown-ups so no need to shy away about saying those kind of things." You trailed your eyes at his face, now focused on what dish to try first. But no, Kiyoomi's attention is on your voice. He's desperately trying to act normal, and yes, controlling himself and his tongue.

"Try the sashimi first, they taste good. Or do the Gyoza." You suggested and he picked the sashimi first, nodding as the dish reached his tongue. You have to distract yourself with eating your own food served in front of you.

The dinner was fine, casual queries and talks were exchanged but you concluded that someone not daring enough can't get any info out of Kiyoomi. And you're not daring enough. All queries were just public info, you-can-know stuffs.

You stared at the mirror of the restroom after you briefly excused yourself after taking two glasses of wine just to get out of that situation. You're questioning yourself, and can't believe you're feeling insecure with how you look. You fixed your hair, your lip tint. Are you that old for Kiyoomi? Are you not pretty for him?

You groaned as you repeatedly muttered, "Just try. If it doesn't work, then okay. It's okay." You exited that restroom with a newfound determination.

"Shall we go? Dai-nii said you both have to prepare for a surgery 6 hours prior." You stuttered as it was the first sentence Kiyoomi gave you after you sat back from the restroom. You whisked your wrist for your watch and rolled your eyes. It's still 7:30pm, the surgery is 5am. Seriously, Daisuke?

Grumpiness sat in you as you drove back to the hospital, still basking on Kiyoomi's silence. Or which you thought.

"Can we go to your favorite alley of yakitori?" Your wide-eyed gaze found his popping thighs and you didn't dare to look further to his face. But he noticed your surprised expression to which he turned away with a steeled expression and a click out of his tongue.

Why is he frustrated? He can't be that frustrated. He doesn't care about you. He closed his eyes for the rest of the ride.

"Kiyo, what are we doing here?"

He just hummed as he collect himself out of your car and out to the alley, clearly looking for a certain stall, his mask already back on his face, sanitized hands on his pockets. You scampered after him to which he sighed and turned back to you. He saw you still taking a few steps closer to him as you fixed your hair and glistening eyes locking to a stall farther back. He can't miss the brief parting of your lips and a bob on your throat. He followed your gaze and briskly walked to that direction.

"Hey! Wait!"

Where are you dining? She likes the yakitori on her favorite streetfood alley.

Kiyoomi, she has to prepare for our surgery 6 hours prior. Take her back to the hospital right after dinner.

Where are you now? Are you on your way back? Don't reply if you're driving. Be careful.

Daisuke's texts kept ringing on his ears as he heaves two trays full of yakitori, with you following him in bewilderment. You both were walking to the previous nurse station Kiyoomi saw his brother. And he's really there now and waiting. Kiyoomi furrowed his brows as he saw his brother perked up on your sight.

Kiyoomi was silent as he placed the trays on the station and informing them that it's on the house. He quickly took the paperbag with some yakitoris too and handed it to you, ignoring the stares of Daisuke on his side.

"Kiー"

"You shouldn't be considerate with others when we say Wherever you want. It was supposed to be your choice." You were startled when he said that to your face, the others hearing it. "Anyways, thanks for driving and for the dinner."

Your jaw dropped, cheeks burning, as your eyes followed his hovering figure walking away from you. Kiyoomi was clearly annoyed with whatever and you had no idea why that is. You turned to face Daisuke who was already staring at you, and he huffed, big strides following Kiyoomi.

"Doc Dai was already frustrated with something, Doc Y/n."

You turned to the nurse who spoke, gesturing her to go on with what's she's saying. "Maybe something about his dad?"

Hm. Maybe because of the run-down of the department's allowance., you thought as you ran your fingers through the paperbag with five yakitoris. You smiled at the thought of Kiyoomi. Well, he can be sweet while being grumpy and mean.

"Kiyo!"

Kiyoomi rolled his eyes as he detestfully punched in the buttons of the elevator. He quickly pulled out the sanitizer Katana gave her and lather some on his hands. Daisuke found his space on his brother's side, huffing whileーKiyoomi doesn't knowーlooking so annoyed with something? He smirked.

"You didn't go eat at her favorite stall?" Daisuke asked as the elevator dinged and opened for the both of the men. Thankfully, it's empty so they piled in.

"We're already eating when you texted." Kiyoomi deadpanned, just staring at the elevator door while his brother's body is on his direction, eyes somewhat blazing with whatever. Kiyoomi's not dumb, and he's mad at it.

"And you bought her yakitori after the dinner? What's with the trays?"

"For you, guys. Trying to be friendly, considering Katana-nee-san asked me to be kind."

He walked out of the elevator as soon as it reached the basement parking lot of the hospital building, Daisuke following behind with more questions he's not gonna answer due to an impending blow on his part that he's afraid to burst.

"It just took a few hours for you huh."

Kiyoomi faced his brother, full height and pride seeping through his veins, face scrunched up with his now discarded mask tucked on his chin.

"Dai. Nii. Chan. Why are you dating someone else when you're clearly in love with her?" There goes the blow.

When Daisuke didn't answer because of utter shock, Kiyoomi dragged his feet to his car far out left of the parking lot leaving his brother behind and frozen.

But he didn't know why he found himself on the same hospital again a week after that fateful one-time dinner. His fingers are tapping on his steering wheel as he was parking. His niece mused as how she's going to see Daisuke and Katana, Motoya cradling her in the passenger seat. No one knew of the conversation he had with Daisuke, and Daisuke hadn't been talking to him the past week, clearly left unguarded with Kiyoomi's blow. Irritating. As irritating as how you got stuck in his mind since that dinner night.

"Yoomi!" Sara leaned to Kiyoomi as they got out of the car. Kiyoomi carried her in one arm and eyed Motoya for her orange mask.

"Matchy." Motoya snickered as he hooked Sara's mask on her ears and quickly got his phone to take a picture of his grumpy cousin and Sara, both wearing orange kiddie masks. Motoya was surprised when Kiyoomi kissed Sara's head through his mask, completely ready for the shot. And he might've sent it to their GC, or maybe even posted online that you'll be seeing a few hours later and keel about.

Sara is loved by many nurses and doctors in the hospital for her talkativeness and cuteness, their future cutie doctor. But you gravely prayed she'll never be like her uncle Kiyoomi that yes, a kind gentleman but also and absolutely yes to being rude and grumpy.

Your irises immediately dilated when you saw her in Kiyoomi's arm, and how cute of Sara to make Kiyoomi wear her signature orange stuffs. You chuckled at the thought as you approached them.

"Ah, Y/n-san!" You ruffled Motoya's hair as you saw him bounding past Kiyoomi with Sara's orange bag.

"Y/n-chaan~" Sara mused as she leaned for you to carry her. But Kiyoomi held her away from you.

"She still has germs, Sara." Eventhough it was a mumble, you can't help but to hear it considering the distance between you. "Later, okay?" Kiyoomi kissed Sara's cheek still with mask on.

Sara lovingly put her hand on Kiyoomi's cheek, nudging the bottom of his glasses up, "But I like her, Yoomi. Won't care if she has germs or none. You shouldn't too. You like her, right?"

Motoya snorted at your back, while you and Kiyoomi unmistakenly blushed at Sara's words.

"Baby, Iー" Kiyoomi glanced at you, your hand on your mouth and face still burning, eyes still wide on him from shock. "I don't.. like.. her."

Kiyoomi's words rang in your ears and it has been an hour since then. You're in the middle of your rounds, clearly distracted that she had to let the interns take notes of what she said and had to read them afterwards for double checking. You tilted your head to let the thought die, and ran your fingers through your hair.

You jumped at a low cough on your side, and your head turned to face Kiyoomi, head low and fiddling fingers together, eyes unfocused. "Yes, Kiyoomi?"

His eyes shot at you on his name, uncomfortable without the nickname you once gave him. And you didn't know why, searching on your depths why didn't you used that. He'll probably worry about that, but very unlikely. He doesn't like you.

"Sara wants you to be with us out for dinner."

"Okay." You nodded in a heartbeat still wondering why doesn't he like you.

And Kiyoomi is uncomfortable with the looks you're giving him as you walk with him, Sara still in his arms refusing to walk because of her uncle's big paces. She is still talking with you and you converse with her, your eyes still burning on Kiyoomi from time to time. And Kiyoomi doesn't like how out-of-place is he with the little girl talk.

You rode passenger in his car, Sara on your lap after Kiyoomi told you it's now okay. But on what grounds are you okay? You can't understand that side of him, and you want to ask him to understand. You want to understand him. You want to understand whyー

You shifted on your seat, arms wrapping on Sara's little waist as she sings songs from Kiyoomi's nursery rhymes, and you sang with her too through the familiar lyrics. And it was proper music for Kiyoomi and he scoffed inaudibly, so amused with the scene he wished he can record it.

His mind was unintentionally wandering far off the future, where you could be with your own little girl in your lap, still with him in the driver's seat, both of you all dressed up according to the little girl's wishes. And it will be blissful and peaceful and no Daiー

He felt himself knuckled up at his steering wheel and you took notice, stammering mid-singing, thinking he doesn't want you singing, thinking how bad your voice is. You gulped hard, eyes straight to the dash and onto the highway he's cruising through.

"Don't you want me here, Kiyoomi?" You tilted your head, chin resting on your palms as Kiyoomi's eyes were on his niece playing on the makeshift playground of the kiddie fastfood chain. Kids on her age are there too. Ugh germs. He might want Sara to take a bath when they get home later.

It's Kiyo for you, Y/n. It's Kiyo. He wanted to say that he caught himself. He doesn't want to be misunderstood, though he himself doesn't understand himself either.

"Motoya's with Dad on a business meeting about his share. And I'm sorry if I can't stop Sara from whining for you to go with us." You hummed and his thigh started popping anxiously at instinct to the sound.

"Kiyoomi. Look at me for a second." Why do you want him to look at you? Why are you even asking him to look at you? His thoughts were battling inside his head and he willfully silenced it just for a moment, and without a thought, looked at you straight to your dilated orbs. He never found such beautiful eyes like yours, beautiful orbs beyond those long lashes. He blinked.

"Why?"

"Oh, nothing." You smiled and you found what you were looking for. A deductive confirmation, an incomplete assessment to whatever situation you have with him. You suddenly wanna go back to the hospital, or just anywhere away from his scalding gaze also searching.

The food was already served when Sara got back from the indoor playground, already holding her mask out of her face like Kiyoomi now. Kiyoomi turned her little figure around and got her scrunchie to tie her long big-curled black hair. And you reveled at the sight.

"D'you want me to feed you or you wanna be a big girl for today?"

"With Y/n-chan, Yoomi."

You felt like your heart skipped a beat when Sara lipped on your direction. Oh how cute is she, a bead of sweat still trickles down her temple and forehead. You reached for her hand and sat her on your lap to which she happily obliged, swaying her legs against yours as she smiles to her uncle across the table.

"Her towel, Yoomi." You deadpanned at Kiyoomi, trying hard not to smile when you imitated Sara's nickname for him, trying hard not to smile when you saw him blush upon hearing it slip out of your lips. And he tried too hard not to dwell on it. Try harder, Kiyoomi.

"Baby, you have to feed yourself because she also has to eat, okay?"

"But I want to be fed by Y/n-chan, Yoomi." Sara's pouts were Kiyoomi's weakness. He closed his eyes in exasperation, keeping in mind that he is the adult here and with the authority.

"Yeah, Yoomi, I can feed her while eating just fine. Let's eat."

And you tried your hardest too, to make it sound so natural and not veiled with awkwardness. And Kiyoomi regretted finding that Kiyo on you earlier that day. This is way worst than it, this will drive him to his grave. He bit his lip in annoyance to his giddiness.

The dinner with Sara went fine with you feeding her. Kiyoomi helped through the process, feeding her alternately while you eat, too. And maybe a bit too awkward, because some eyes inside the food chain were on you three, murmuring about how good-looking of a family you are with Kiyoomi and Sara. You should put some blush-on next time when you're with him, just to hide the natural blush you had been wearing throughout the time.

"Thank you for your time, Y/n."

"Anytime." You winked at him and debated with yourself between saying more, or just go straight to anywhere away from him. That was enough indulgence for today for Kiyoomi doesn't like you. You have to remind yourself.

But you softly patted the head of the sleeping figure in Kiyoomi's arms, and Kiyoomi stiffened on the closeness. He can smell your fragrance and something else. He nibbled his cheek and turned his eyes straight, to where he found Daisuke staring at them, smiling. Kiyoomi was confused for a moment.

"Take her home now. Drive safely, Yoomi." You patted his wide and bulky shoulder softly, trying not to wake Sara up. Kiyoomi hummed as he stared back on his brother, clearly pertrubed over something in his mind he dare not say. And you were oblivious of the tension. He's so glad you were.

You waved Kiyoomi bye and went to Daisuke, slithering your body towards him before grasping both his cheeks with one hand. All the while, Daisuke was still smiling to Kiyoomi before he dropped his eyes on you and messed your hair. Kiyoomi had to quickly turn away and go straight home, also oblivious that the following morning will change the course of the situation.

You were pacing back and forth outside the halls for the doctors' offices, a hard flush on your cheeks visible. Kiyoomi had asked you out of nowhere for a lunch date of sorts.

These past two months was too confusing for you. Because the Kiyoomi that doesn't like you keep poking out of nowhere, taking a portion of your time of day. May it be another dinner with Sara, or just with him, or being with you on your rounds, recently and suprisingly mask down and talking with your patients. He may have even memorized your sched like the back of his hand for the untimely timing of his visits.

These past two months was like a typhoon for you. Kiyoomi was the typhoon. And you can't brace yourself enough. Maybe because you were used to him being rude and grumpy, well, he still is, but something changed in him.

"Good luck, Y/n. HAHAHA!"

Motoya replied once when you asked him about why Kiyoomi was doing things he usually won't do. What's the good luck for? The toothpaste in the tube had bursted out and grimed on your fingers in annoyance to Motoya's reply.

"No comment LOL!"

And Daisuke, too. He's becoming normal for youーin a sense that he won't joke about his feelings for you anymore, or he isn't as clingy as before, and less time with you. You remembered pouting when you read his reply after you asked him too about Kiyoomi's actions, and that you threw your phone across your bed in frustration.

But now, you were smiling calmly in the back of your mind, reminding yourself that Kiyoomi doesn't like you. Yeah, he doesn't like you.

"Okay. Pick me up? Text me if you're here already."

"Can we take pictures Y/n?"

Like hell. You tried not to notice him taking stolen pictures of you when you're not looking. But never with him. You nodded and took his phone and snapped a pic with himーor maybe four with wacky poses. A nurse also took one with you on your scrub suit and gown, his hand surprisingly ghosting on your waist to which you nearly flinched.

"What's with the pictures?" You asked him during your lunch with him in your favorite yakitori stall.

"I'm going back to Osaka this weekend. Leagues are in a month and we still have to condition ourselves." You poked on your katsudon as you pouted on his answer.

"Had to show how you are doing to Inunaki-san. You're friends, right?"

He placed a slice of meat on your bowl that you acknowledged by placing a yakitori on his plate. You hummed at his statement, to which his thighs popped and you placed a hand on it to relax him and grinned, a habit you have when you hummed and he'll grow anxious by it. You tapped his thigh once before continuing on your meal.

"You're going back to Osaka. Can I come see your games some time if I'm free?" You're pushing your luck, no way he'll agree toー

"Sure. Any vacant time. Just be sure it'll not disrupt your shifts. I'll text you the time and venues of every game we'll have 3 days prior."

You smiled through kneading with your food with your chopsticks. "Glad to hear." And maybe you should know sometime soon, that even if moments like these are to be captured, it won't do any justice to Kiyoomi.

"Can I go see you off this weekend then?"

Both of you are already back from the lunch date when you asked him. He's still sipping from his milktea, one hand on the plastic with 2 large trays of yakitori, biceps flexing against his fitted black shirt, his jacket discarded on his car. You're also carrying two batch containers of milktea, all for the residents and nurses in the station.

"No. I might not be present in the games if you do see me off."

It is still the Kiyoomi that doesn't like you.

"See you soon." And your heart skipped a beatーokay, maybe twoー when he leaned in to kiss your forehead swiftly as he can to put his mask back on to conceal his reddening cheeks.

You tried to stay calm as you smiled at him. "Take care, Yoomi."

He hummed and patted your head. "I'll come see you soon."

And before you even realized it, he's walking away from you, and it might hurt just one bit of this figure of him being away. You pursed your lips as your mind registered what had happened. But you rolled your eyes as you were not the first one to reactーmore like, squeal.

"Stop it, Katana-nee!" You can't help but giggle as more of the nurses joined Katana's teasing and squealing. "Yoomi doesn't like me."

Katana scoffed mid-giggling. "What nonsense is that? He clearly likes you, Y/n!"

"He said so himself." You shrugged, still smiling as you took a sip of the milktea you and Kiyoomi bought.

"And you?" Your eyes darted to her, Katana's scrutinizing gaze boring at you. "How are you feeling about this?"

You stared at her, fumbling with your thoughts in your mind on how to answer that that it won't be misunderstood. Though, one phrase stood out. You bit your lip and hang your head low, fiddled with the straw of your milktea.

"I don't want to fall in love alone, Nee-san."

"Tokyo Metropolitan Gymnasium. Nov 24, 5:30pm. Let me know if you could come so I can reserve you a seat near the court."

You smiled, staring at his text from 3 days ago. You have replied then, even videocalled him after that, and the day after, like the ones you had a few weeks ago whenever he was free, or when you are free. It has been barely two months and the leagues has already started last month. You had watched his matches that you can't see live on your phone, or on Youtube. And you call each other at the end of each game, just talking about anything like how was the day going for both of you, or how was the game,or how did you enjoy watching him play. You smiled at how he wants you to be involved in his field of interest. But Y/n, he doesn't like you.

"Y/n, Chairman called for you in his office."

You turned to face Doc Akaashi and his hoarse voice. Your brows furrowed at it. "You okay, Doc?"

"I'm okay. Just stressed with my son."

"Oooh, Keiji?"

He nodded, running a hand on the back of his neck. "Yeah, but he's okay now, thanks to his friendsーyour Yoomi included." He snorted at his tease. You pouted as he patted your shoulder and walked away after gesturing you to the Chairman's office.

You checked the timeーstill 9:30amーwhile walking through the long hallway to the Chairman's office. You still have to pick up Sara by 3pm because she has literally begged you yesterday to take her to her Jii-chan Yoomi's games. And it will be a secret, she said. You chuckled at the thought of her. That kid really adores Kiyoomi.

You knocked before going into the office. You were entranced by a golden haired young man with glasses and a dark-grayish green haired young man on the couch, sitting and looking at you walking in the room.

"ーCoz Doc, I can't."

You turned to the Chairman's direction and you saw a golden-haired young lady sitting in front of the Chairman and rambling about something. Is she a patient?

"Sit first, Y/n." You heard the chairman as he paused to look at you, with the golden-haired lady's eyes on you too. She smiled at you briefly and turned again to the Chairman. You sat down across the men, well as you look closely they might still be in highschool. They're just tall-lookingーor really maybe tall.

"I am okay, really."

The golden haired boy snorted. "Doc, she slapped someone real hard hardly two hours ago. Twice."

The girl turned to the direction of the boy who spoke. "Shut up, Kei! She needs it! Who would wake her up other than her bestest girl-friend she'll ever have, huh?"

"You hate her." It was the other boy now that had spoken, and you were out of place already, trying to understand the situation.

She pouted, "I don't, and she knows it."

"Okay. Okay, Ran. Just do the oximeter for now. Will that calm you three?"

The Chairman took the pulse oximeter and latched it on Ran(?)'s pointer finger. And you had no idea why you're here. You leaned back on the couch while waiting for anything.

"I told you to just stay at Fukurodani while we send them off! Now Aki-nii knew about this!"

"And who texted him huh? Was itー"

And the unspeakable happen. The door of the office bursted open and you might've been excited for this for months now, but no. He stormed to Ran and pulled her up to stand.

"I told you not to go here to see my dad!"

It was Kiyoomi, already in his jersey under his MSBY track jacket, his black eyes furious and mask disregarded somewhere in his pockets. It stirred something in you, of which you thought you won't feel towards him. It scared you.

"Omi-san!" Ran yelped at Kiyoomi's grip. And you felt concerned for her as you jumped up from the couch. You can see his grip digging on her flesh.

"Kiyoomi!" The Chairman had also risen up from his seat, trying to get in between the two.

"I told you, Ran, did I? I told you to go find another doctor to take you! I told you why!"

"Kiyoomi-san!"

"Ran!"

"Omi-san, it hurts!"

"Kiyoomi!"

And you saw it in his eyes that's not leaving Ran's, a flicker of concern as he saw tears trickling down from hers. "Leave. Now."

The amber-eyed boy collected Ran that's now glaring at Kiyoomi, still with tears in her eyes. "Hope you fall in your butt, Kiyoomi!" And she was dragged by her waist out of the office.

Kiyoomi snapped a look at the dazed face of the Chairman, and he groaned. "How could you do that to her?" The chairman whispered in his strangled breaths.

"This is exactly why!"

"She did nothing to us! To you! To me!"

"SHE DID! She has her mother's face that you can't even forget after all these years!"

"It's..not her fault Kiyoomi.."

"Assign her to another doctor Dad, or I'll take the matters to my own hands."

"You know I can't."

Kiyoomi dialed in his phone and took a look at you, he sighed, just registering that you had witnessed something you shouldn't and he mouthed Sorry, to which you nodded, hesitant and still wide-eyed at the course of events happened in a matter of minutes.

"Daisuke. Where are you?ーCan you come up here at Dad's?ーYes, right now. ASAP."

It was achingly quiet for a few minutes when Daisuke barged in, breathless, still in his gown and a steth dangling around his neck. "Saw Ran-chan outside as I'm running up here. What happened?"

But Kiyoomi ignored him and turned to you. "Come with me, Y/n?" His voice is hoarse from yelling, but calmer now.

You followed his hurried paces and he was searching the halls of the hospital and you know who's he searching for. And you are, too. If Ran's a patient, then she should be in aー

Kiyoomi suddenly rushed to a nearby bench just off the indoor café of the hospital. There you saw three figures seating, the same people that are just in the office moments ago. Kiyoomi squatted in front of Ran and peeked on her face. She was doubled over on her knees, the two not daring to touch her. You decide to observe at a distance on earshot, but Kiyoomi looked back at you, wanting you near him, and you stood closer, a few steps away from the golden haired boy who bowed to acknowledge your presence.

"I'm sorry." Kiyoomi was about to touch Ran's head when the amber eyed boy on the other side of the bench cleared his throat.

"Don't touch her yet, Kiyoomi-san."

You saw Kiyoomi sheepishly smile at Ran when there's a slight movement of her head, and you heard Ran groan.

"Don't peekーDon't peek on me like that." A few struggled breaths from her and you hear an exasperated sigh from the golden haired boy beside you. "Up, Omi-san."

The golden-haired boy looked up at you. "Is she the one you're talking about Kiyoomi-san?" Kiyoomi hummed, now on his feet looking down at Ran's position. Are they talking about you? No way.

"Do you have a pulse oximeter? Chairman's was dropped in the office." The question disrupted your impending thoughts of how these boys knew about you. You have to ask Kiyoomi later.

You patted your pockets and thankfully, you have one. It was the hospital's protocol though, for doctors and nurses to bring an oximeter everywhere within the vicinity.

"She's still in high-sensitivity. Hold it first, Kei."

There was silence after, except for Ran's groans and whimpers from time to time. You stared at Kiyoomi that was statue-like, staring at Ran's figure on the bench. A few wild assumptions came to mind at his actions, and how this day showed you another side, well two, of Kiyoomi. You tilted your head as he huffed and looked at you, a silent apology on his eyes. You smiled at him, reassuring him anything you can offer to him eventhough you're unsure of yourself too.

"Told you I can't pick another doctor other than your Dad, Omi-san. I warned you." Ran's eyes were full of fury you can't help but to turn away and flash a grin on the wall.

Kiyoomi rolled his eyes upon hearing her words. "Told you you have to do plastic surgery or something. I hate your face."

"I know I'm pretty." And Ran happened to glance at you and almost immediately, wide-eyed and rounded her lips in surprise, much to your confusion. "And she's prettier up close, Omi-san!"

"Thank you?" You raised a brow at Kiyoomi while you feel your cheeks burn on the compliment, to which he groaned, pulling his phone from his pocket. "Umー"

"I'm Tadashi. This is Ran and Kei. Nice to finally meet you, Y/n-san." Your eyes flew from Kiyoomi to the amber eyed boy that's now standing and bowing briefly to you, flickering a teasing gaze on Kiyoomi. Your confusion grew more, it's achingly pressed to your bones.

"Stop it, Tadashi." Kiyoomi snapped at Tadashi who just grinned and took back his seat.

Ran groaned. "Please don't make me laugh." And to which Tadashi and Kei laughed.

You saw Kiyoomi rolled his eyes, cheeks were also beet red as he turned to you, and you giddily smiled back at him. "Are you still watching the game later?"

"I still can't move. Please, Omi-san, go flirt with her somewhere else, far enough that I can't hear."

"I really want to throw you off the grid, Ran." Kiyoomi deadpanned and you wanna laugh hard at it. Kiyoomi's gonna flirt with who now?

"Thankful that you love me." Ran paused and winked at you. "As a friend, Y/n-san. This irritating guy is all yours."

"You shouldn't tease Kiyoomi-san like that, Ran."

"Whyyy? That's called revenge!"

"But Kiyoomi-san's less grumpy around her, don't you think Kei?"

"Stop it. Don't make me laugh."

All your senses came back when you heard Kiyoomi unintelligently mumbled in his breaths, still in the moment where he's dragging you away from the teasing trio. You finally became aware that every pair of eyes across the lobby, and that those eyes were staring at both of you. You nibbled at your lip as you also became aware of his strong hands gentle but tugging at your wrist to somewhere. You can't help but smile as you fixed your eyes on his curly black hair, swaying as he bounds to the direction of the ER, not surprised that Kiyoomi knows where you have your shift in this time of this specific day of the week.

"You'll flirt with me in the ER, Yoomーah!" You bumped into his shoulder as he halted suddenly, a hall away from the doors of the ER. He turned to you, surprisingly still blushing. "Geez, Yoomi." You half-heartedly took back your tease as you brushed your hand on the spot where his shoulder made contact on your head.

"Yーyou're still coming to the game later, right?" His eyes were unfocused, darting anywhere but in your direction and you find it too cute and amusing.

You hummed, placed both your hands on his shoulders as you tiptoed to kiss his red cheek. "Won't miss it this time. See you later okay?"

You slid a hand on his chest to tap it twice against his MSBY jersey and went off to the ER, grinning at your action and to Kiyoomi's reaction. Flirting with a Kiyoomi that doesn't like you feels like you were shot to as far as Jupiter, far past the clouds.

But you thought you knew what you did to Kiyoomi. You have no idea. As he watches your gown getting winded up as you walked to the doors of the ER after you kissed his burning cheek, he stopped breathing for a moment, replaying the moment in his mind numerous times for a short while. He leaned back on the wall as he catch his breath, licking his dry lips.

"Want a check-up, lovestruck man?" He turned to his smug brother smirking in front of him.

"You already diagnosed me two months ago. Don't need a check-up." Daisuke laughed as he remembered what he said to Kiyoomi months ago.

"Kiyo, okay, listen."

"No."

"Listen, please."

Kiyoomi paused halfway the stairs to their rooms. He sighed and waited for Daisuke to speak up.

"I loved her. Before. Yes. But it doesn't matter now, is it?"

"I don't wanna date someone you loved, Daisuke."

"But you're already falling for her." That surprised Kiyo to the bone. How could Daisuke say things like that so casually? And no, he's not in love with you.

"Don't deny it. I hereby diagnose you as that. And please, don't be considerate of me. Go move on her if you want to. I will support you."

"Y/n-chaan~ Yoomi?" You looked down at Sara that's tightly gripping your hand, afraid to get lost in the crowd of Tokyo Metropolitan Gymnasium. She's wearing Kiyoomi's merch jersey as you were wearing his jersey too, but not from the merch store. You blushed again behind your orange mask at the thought.

"Want me to carry you, Sara-chan?" She nodded, her curls bobbing with her head as she goes. You picked her up and realized she's not that heavy as you gripped her up around her orange shorts. "Yoomi's somewhere inside. Let's go find him."

But you didn't find him, instead you found someone else.

"Oh. So it's true." You turned to face Inunaki Shion and you smiled at him. "Sakusa Kiyoomi, huh?" You felt Sara squirmed in your arms to face the stranger in front of you.

"I'm Sakusa Sara, nice to meet you sir."

"You already have a kid with him?" Huh?

"What business do you have with my mommy, sir?"

"IーHuh?"

Shion was also as wide eyed and stuttering as you, him, clearly assuming something, and you, clearly confused and surprised with Sara's words. You were about to clear things with him when Shion's eyes fell somewhere far on your back.

You turned to that direction and there, you saw Kiyoomi taking big paces towards you. Sara squealed but your attention was on Kiyoomi and his intense gaze on you.

"Yoomi."

"Sara, close your eyes."

"Haiii~"

You didn't notice the way Sara grinned while closing her eyes, to the way the crowd turned their attention on the three of you, and to how the voices muffled, making it seem like it was buried away deep below.

One thing that you were sure was happening was this: Kiyoomi's hands cupping your cheeks and leaning his face towards yours, staring at your dilated orbs and smiled before tilting his head and closing the gap of his lips and yours.

You had to close your eyes because of the intense feeling he's giving you, kissing him back with equal fervor, too frustrated you can't wrap your arms around his neck so you tightly cradled Sara's waist instead, and still too dumbstruck of why Kiyoomi is kissing you right now.

He leaned his forehead on yours, giving you both chances to catch your breaths. You smiled at him, about to ask him the question when, "Can you be my girlfriend, Y/n?"

And you chuckled at the question that confirmed your past deduction.

"But, Yoomi, Dai said you have to ask first before kissing." And you can't help but laugh at how Sara responded for you, you kissed her cheek in adoration.

"What she said, Yoomi."

"Is it always like that?" He pouted as you turned around to Shion, giving Sara to him to which the little girl understood and even gave you a thumbs-up.

Kiyoomi was baffled at how Shion carried Sara and was about to retort when you pulled him into you and kissed him again, this time wrapping your arms in his neck, him hugging you close by your waist and kissing you back.

And yeah, maybe it's true that Kiyoomi doesn't like you.

Because he was already truly, madly, and deeply in love with you.

"You don't have a girlfriend, sir."

"I will have soon, you know. Behave before I put you down and leave you."

"Should we stop them? The warm-ups will start at 5 minutes."

"Oh, don't be an ass, Meian."

"Someone take a picture of them."

"I feel so single."

@rudecopper on twt for the icon

Reblogs and interactions are appreciated. Theories will be entertained. Cassie 2023.

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andmaybegayer · 1 year ago

Note

After I deleted a bunch of projects (thankfully non-critical, though representing a great deal of work in total) during a recent fresh OS install, I realized that my backup practices are practically non-existent. Any tips or sources on getting started making, and eventually automating, effective backups?

I am stealing the concept here from jwz's backup guide, but I am recommending different tools, focusing on personal files only, and also addressing Windows. jwz's guide is a good reference:

Doing a way, way better job than most people of backing up one single system is very easy. Let us begin.

The most basic step of having decent backups is getting your hands on two external hard drives at least big enough to hold your entire system, and putting a label on them that says "BACKUP ONLY DO NOT USE FOR ANYTHING ELSE I AM BEING FOR REAL HERE"

Once you've got those, plug one into your system wherever it spends the most time. If you have a desktop then that's solved, if it's a laptop hopefully you already have a USB hub you plug it into when you sit down to work or whatever and you can just leave it there.

Now set up regular scheduled backups to that device. On Windows and Mac, there's a built in tool for backing up your system to an external drive. We'll assume that you just want to back up your user files on Windows and Linux, since doing full system backups isn't tricky but is kind of unnecessary.

(Ugh. Windows seems to be trying to phase out Windows Backup and Restore in favour of their File History thing. That's annoying, let me log in to windows and check how this actually works. Mac in the meantime)

Mac has Time Machine. Time Machine is extremely good, and you can tell Time Machine to save its backups to a disk. Point Time Machine at your external hard drive and tell it to schedule a backup however frequently you want. If anything goes wrong in the future, you can ask Time Machine to look at that backup disk and it'll show you a few versions of whatever you backed up there. I'm not a Mac user but I think you can even use Time Machine to transfer between an old computer and a new one.

Windows now has File History which I have never used in my life, they added it after I stopped using Windows. Same idea though, pick some folders and back them up to an external storage device. If anything goes wrong, use File History to go back through that device and find the version of the file you wanted. I don't know if there's still a way to access the older Backup and Restore system.

On Linux, my favoured way to manage simple desktop backups is Deja Dup, a GUI for Duplicity. Duplicity can do a lot more than just backup to a disk, but we'll start there. Install Deja Dup, open it up, and follow the prompts to back up your user files to the external drive. Deja Dup can also do backups to remote storage servers, Google Drive/Onedrive, and commercial storage providers like Amazon and Backblaze. It will even encrypt your backups if you are worried about Amazon spying on your files or whatever. If something goes wrong, point Deja Dup at your backup drive and it will offer you a suite of restore options covering a few versions.

Now, you have a permanently plugged in hard drive that will always get rolling backups you can restore from. These aren't safe from, say, ransomware, or your house burning down, but at least you won't lose anything when you update a computer or accidentally delete something and have an ohshit moment.

Now you take that other drive you bought, and do the same backup you're already doing to that. Now you go put it somewhere else where it's readily accessible and won't be accidentally used for anything, keep it at the office, give it to your dad, whatever. Set a reminder on your phone for once a month. Once a month, go get that drive, run another backup, and put it back. You now have better backups than many medium sized businesses.

This is impractical to scale beyond one PC, but if we're being honest even when I had like half a dozen laptops, only one contained much of value. Back up the system you care about.

Don't worry too much about making sure your backups are space efficient, like, yeah it would be a good idea to exclude game installs and stuff from your backups to save space but if that sounds daunting or time consuming literally do not do it. Decision paralysis is brain poison, just back it up and sort it out later. 2TB external hard drives are cheap.

FURTHER STEPS YOU CAN TAKE:

Easy Cloud backup: Backblaze personal backup on Windows and Mac is $6/month and pretty easy to use. If you are struggling to keep track of a monthly remote backup, or you want an easy remote backup. Backblaze is a reasonably reliable company and one of the Go To Companies in the world of data reliability. Yes, it's a cloud subscription. If you don't want that don't use it.

Network backup: If you have access to a storage server, that can be a good way to make a remote backup without having to shuttle disks around. That could be a physical server if you maintain some kind of lab, or it could be a cloud storage provider like Backblaze B2 or Onedrive or whatever. Deja Dup specifically supports backing up to a lot of different network storage providers, and even if you only have a fifty or sixty gigabytes of network storage on hand, your most essential personal files can probably fit in there.

Drive failures: Eventually one of your drives will fail, either your storage drive or your backup drive. If the storage drive fails, well, that's what the backup is for, go get a replacement and restore from the backup. If your backup drive fails, well, that's why you have two of them. As soon as humanly possible go get a replacement drive, and substitute it in for the dead one.

#computer stuff #kelp-of-discontent #ask #backups

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not-your-damsel · 2 years ago

Text

Our Number 1 Hero

Who :: Hawks/Keigo Takami x Fem!Reader

AN :: While I’m recovering, have a queued up/scheduled cute & smutty moment I finished a few days ago with you in an established marriage/already mated with papa Keigs ♥️ Was inspired after seeing an adorable bit of fanart of Keigo with his baby chirping up at him 🥺🥹🫠

⚠️ :: Oral (Fem!receiving), sq¡irt¡ng, some feather play. MDN¡, ageless, porn & blank blogs will be sniped on sight. Pew pew!

Word Count :: 4,179

Photo :: A Pinterest find. If anyone knows the artist, please let me know so I can give proper credit.

⚠️Note :: There’s an issue going on with the mobile version of the app with the display of this oneshot, especially when adding more ppl to tag. Just a heads up, I’ll remove this when it gets fixed on their end as I’ve done all I can on mine. On desktop it looks absolutely normal. Go figure 🙄

There’s a feeling you can’t quite describe whenever you watch as Keigo plays and bonds with your 10 month old baby boy and girl. Never in your life did you think twins would be in the cards for you, yet, here you were with two fuzzy, crimson winged beauties who were currently laughing that undeniably happy laughter that only babies can manage as he holds them just under their bellies to float them around like planes. In fact, their laughter is so hearty that you find both Keigo and yourself having a good chuckle along with them as you listen from where you are.

As you’re sitting in the living room, working on altering and hemming your babies’ clothing to accommodate their wings, you hear your husband gasp out and it has you dropping everything to make sure nothing’s wrong. You reach the doorway to the babies’ room where they were playing with Keigo, expecting to see some sort of accident, only to see each baby gathered in either of his capable arms as they chirp up at him eagerly.

Hinadori, your chubby cheeked daughter, was clinging to Keigo’s shirt as her large eyes -your eyes- looked up at her dad, almost as though she revered him. Her little mouth would open and a flurry of chirps and peeps would come rushing out to his ears, making him crack a smile.

“Is that so, Hina-chan? Well then, -chirps and peeps- hm? Can you promise not to do that to Tobu-chan’s wings? It isn’t nice. -chirps lowly-”

Hinadori looked over at Tobu in Keigo’s other arm thoughtfully, her eye markings making her look angelic, almost cherub-like. Her chubby little arm slowly reached over to Tobu’s plush little wing, occasionally looking up to Keigo as though asking permission. He’d nod, chirp and watch on.

“Gentle, Hina-chan, yasashi…”

She slowed for a moment as he spoke before a chirp met her ears, telling her to continue. Her little dimpled hand met Tobu’s little wing where she gently pet it, looking back to Keigo for approval. He nodded, a kind and loving smile graced his lips as she let out a gleeful chirp. Keigo whistled out from somewhere deep in his throat and she laughed.

“That’s my good girl, that’s daddy’s good girl!”

You grinned from the doorway, arms crossing over your chest as you watched them together. Tobu now looked up at Keigo, his eyes a startling shade of gold and despite the hue being slightly different from Keigo’s, when you looked at him with those avian markings, he looked just like his daddy. Tobu had your hair but, like Keigo’s, it stuck every which way. Even more so after horsing around. His cheeks were tinged pink from all the laughter no doubt.

“Your big sister did well, right my little feather?”

Keigo asked as Tobu chirped up at him. His little arms began to work as he tugged Keigo’s shirt, his legs working together in a crawling motion as though he were trying to climb up to Keigo’s shoulder.

“Hey now -chirps and whistles- where are you going, little fea-”

Tobu’s little wings began to flutter, some deep instinct triggering a knowing need to flap. Keigo’s eyes nearly turned to saucers as he watched on, measuring how hard the little wing beats were.

“Keigs, watch hi-”

“He’s trying, baby, he’s trying!”

Keigo was far too excited about this, assuring you as he held Tobu fast as he worked his way to Keigo’s neck with his wings working all the while. Once he reached Keigo’s neck, he realized he had nowhere else to go so he settled for making a fuss with impatient chirps and tiny whistles leaving his throat.

“Ok, ok. One second, Tobu-chan. Baby? Can you take Hina-chan for a moment, please?”

You nodded, walking over to them and scooping Hinadori in your arms, kissing the top of her straw colored locks as you cradled her head close to your chest.

“Look, Hina-chan! Look at daddy and Tobu-chan…”

Keigo was now holding Tobu high above his head, chuckling as he watched his little legs and arms splay out instinctively. Suddenly and without warning, Keigo let go of Tobu, dropping his arms lower in a position ready to catch him on his inevitable way down.

“Kei!!”

You felt your heart drop along with your son who landed safely in your husband’s hands. A squeal met your ears as Tobu felt the drop in his little body, his wings fluttering wildly on the way down.

“Again, Tobu-chan, slower. -peeps-”

Whatever Keigo had said to Tobu, it was clearly important as he gently patted your son’s wings. Taking position once more, Keigo raised Tobu above his head and dropped him again. This time you watched as Tobu’s little wings fluttered a little slower than the first time… and he was floating for about two seconds before once again falling into Keigo’s hands.

“Now, that’s what I’m talkin’ about, sweetheart!!!!”

Keigo yelled into the room startling both you and Hinadori, the both of you jolting in unison before hearing a commotion of chirps, peeps, whistles and squeaks fill the kid’s room. Keigo was so happy, his own wings spread wide as they shook with excitement and pride before looking at you with determination.

“Tobu’s ready! We can go out tomorrow morning and we ca-”

“Wait, wait, wait! Kei, I know you’re happy and I know you’re excited, I am too! But…”

You trailed off, absentmindedly bouncing Hinadori on your hip. Keigo could sense your apprehension, could smell the cortisol coming off you as you silently stressed.

“Baby bird… you know I’d never let anything happen to our brood, right?”

You swore you’d never get used to the whole “familial bird” talk. You nodded, you knew he’d lay his life down without hesitation or question for you and the babies. Keigo put Tobu on the hip opposite yours with Hinadori and leaned into you, his nose trailing from your own to your jaw and then gliding down to a faded bite mark on the smooth skin of your neck. He inhaled deeply before planting a kiss against the silvered mark, followed by a soft nip and a final kiss once more. Standing upright to meet your gaze again, Keigo noted you were calm once more and he grinned, lopsided and beautiful all the same. You grinned back, free hand coming up to stroke his scarred cheek as you looked lovingly at him.

“I know you’d never let anything happen to them, but, how do you know it’s time?”

Keigo nodded, he figured it was fair you’d ask how he knew. But, he didn’t know either.

“Truth is, kid, I don’t even know how it is I know. I just do. And I know that’s not what you want to hear but, it’s the truth and it’s all I can give you right now. I just… I feel it in my bones. It’s time for Tobu to practice taking flight.”

He said, holding your gaze lovingly. You nodded, Keigo could tell it was a reluctant one, but you nodded with a sigh. You looked at Hinadori and felt your eyes brim with tears.

“Talk to me, baby bird. What’re you thinking?”

Keigo grabbed hold of your chin to look at him again, seeing your eyes reddened and glossier than a moment ago.

“Oh no, baby I-”

“I just… I’m so proud of you, Keigo,”

You nuzzled into his palm against your cheek.

“You went from not wanting us to have kids because you were terrified you’d be the worst father to grace this planet, to us having not one but two, to being the best father I’ve ever seen. Not that I never had faith in you, you just blew all my expectations away.”

Keigo’s neck was starting to pink to his ears at your words.

“And I get so touched when I see you with them, see you playing and bonding and becoming the mochi of their eyes. Part of me is a little jealous of you three, to be honest.”

“Wait, what?! Us?! I don’t understand, love…”

You shook your head,

“Not in a malicious way, I just wish I knew what you guys say to one another when you start chirping and whistling at each other and now, Tobu-chan’s ready to start flying practice and I can’t be there for that. I can’t be in the sky with you to see him experience this life changing moment and I want to be there for all of it. Our line of work doesn’t guarantee us seeing tomorrow and I want to see everything they get to experience and I-”

You didn’t even realize you were crying until Hinadori reached to touch your wet cheek. You looked down at her where she chirped to you and you had no idea how to even answer her. It made you feel a little worse, like you couldn’t provide vocal comfort or feedback to your own babies.

“Whistle.”

Keigo said, wiping your eyes and then your nose.

“K-Keigs, gross!”

“Our brood has pissed on me, puked on me, I even been shat on by them, your snot is nothing by now, dove. Now, whistle. Nothing major, just a single, double note sound.”

You shook your head but gave it a try anyway, letting a single little high-low whistle escape your lips as you looked at Hinadori. Her features lit up as she released more of her own chirps and peeps at you. You giggled, more tears forming in your eyes at her response to you.

“B-but, I don’t know what I’ve said to her or what she’s saying to me.”

Keigo grinned.

“It doesn’t rightly matter at this point, they’re not saying much of anything right now. I only understand bits and pieces of what they mean. It’ll get better over time as they form their avian speech more. And you, baby bird, don’t have to worry one bit. I’m here, aren’t I? I can always translate.”

You smiled at him, pulling him in for a deep, heated kiss.

“What was that for?”

“For being our number 1 hero. Come now, let’s get these little chicks to bed.”

Keigo beamed before frowning.

“I need to see if my Hina-chan is ready, too!”

“You can check tomorrow, I promise.”

Giggling at his pout, you handed Hinadori to him so he could get them ready for bed as you tidied up the living room of all the little clothing and sewing items you had scattered around along with whatever toys were left on the floor of their play mats.

It had taken almost an hour to get the chicks down and off to sleep. Little twitching wings remained active while they were fast asleep as you and Keigo kissed their heads before leaving a feather of his own wrapped around their ankles. You closed their door, leaving a crack open before you went to your shared bedroom to change into your pajamas.

Walking in, you see Keigo already in his boxers while laying in bed, golden eyes scanning his tablet screen most likely adjusting your patrolling schedules for the coming week. You made your way to the walk-in closet to put your pajamas on, throwing your clothes for the day in the hamper in the process. As you bent to pull your silk sleep shorts up, you felt a feather skimming up your back before making quick work of your bra, feeling it slip off your shoulders, falling to the hardwood floor.

Keigo could feel the vibration of your slight giggles, making him smirk in turn. He then felt you wave the feather off as you moved to slip your silk tank on and as you threw your arms up to help it slide over your head, large, warm, calloused hands reached around to cup and grope your soft breasts. You yelped, always getting thrown off by how stealthy Keigo was when he really wanted to be.

Warm lips met the nape of your neck accompanied by the sharp scrape of his stubble as he kissed you, his chest meeting your back as he pressed into you. It was then you felt a hard bulge firmly against your lower back, a slight grind into you as Keigo’s thumbs slid down to your nipples to roll between them and his forefingers. Your back was instinctively arching against him, your ass pushing into his hard cock as your chest pushed out into his rough hands.

“Fffuck, baby, that get your pretty pussy twitching for me?”

He panted behind your ear, his nose inhaling the scent of your hair as you rocked your ass up and down his clothed length. With your nipples now hard and pebbled for him, he pulled, a hiss escaping your lips at the feeling as your arms reached behind you to sink your fingers into silky straw colored strands, tugging enticingly as he sucked along your shoulder with a groan.

“Kei, t-the bed…”

You felt another feather make its way to your shorts, tugging them down along with your panties to pool at your feet.

“Here’s just fine, baby bird.”

With one swift movement, Keigo had you bent over your vanity, some of your makeup items clattering to the floor with the act.

“The babies, Keigs!”

“They’re still asleep, hero’s promise.”

Still bent in your position, you were already reaching behind you to tug down his boxers and boxer briefs, wanting to feel him inside you already.

“So needy aren’t we? I got you, kid.”

His feathers were already pulling his bottoms down and you heard his cock slap against his lower abdomen.

“Kei, I need it, I need you, please!”

You breathed. With his heightened senses, he could already smell you dripping for him, taste it in the air and it had his golden eyes rolling back. His hands found your hips and adjusted them so that it looked as though you were presenting yourself to him.

“Lemme see, baby, let me fuckin’ see what it is I do to you.”

You gave a pathetic whine as his hands spread your cheeks apart, watching as your cunt fluttered for him, your slick oozing from your tight little hole. Avian pupils dialated at the sight and before he could even register what he was doing, Keigo dropped to his knees and licked from your clit to your hole before delving in to penetrate it.

Squealing, you slammed your hands down on the table of your vanity as he ate you out like a starved man. Slurping, sucking your clit before flicking his tongue over it again and again had your eyes rolling back as well.

“Keigo, fuck, p-please, I-!”

His hands squeezed your ass cheeks roughly, grunting and moaning every time your slick gushed into his mouth.

“You better cum in my mouth. I don’t care how long it takes, I want you squirting in this mouth, d’you hear me?”

A harsh slap met one of your ass cheeks and you moaned out loud as his whole mouth covered your cunt, his tongue stroking you even closer to the edge of bliss. Keigo abruptly pulled away, and as you went to protest, you felt a feather start vibrating against your clit before two thick fingers slipped inside you pumping against your sweet spot over and over again. The feeling had your hips swiveling, bucking up and down as tears pricked your eyes.

“You know how beautiful you look, what you’re doing to me right now? You keep this up, you’ll end up making me knock you up with another addition to the brood,”

At that, your hips rocked harder into his pumping fingers.

“What a little slut, fuuuck!”

“R-right there, right there, Keigo don’t stop,”

This was arguably the second best part, the immediate climb to the jump off, the way the taut string inside your belly was fraying in preparation for the snap.

Keigo felt it, the way your cunt was sucking his thick fingers in, fluttering all around them. It was like he was in a trance, chasing that sweet moment you’d come undone and bless him with the sweetest nectar that was only ever for him.

“Keigo, it’s coming, I’m cumming, I-! G-gonna squ-“

Keigo removed his fingers but kept his feather working you, flipping you over again to latch his mouth against your cunt just in time as a gush of fluid came out of you and right into his mouth where he drank, golden eyes shifting between pinpoints and full blown as he let out the most porn worthy moan along with your own.

Pulling away, his chin was soaked and as he lifted his head up it began to drip and roll down his neck. But, he couldn’t be bothered to care. Your squirming told him to stop with his feather, already pawing at you to suddenly hoist over his shoulder to bring you to the bed.

“K-Keigo! There’s a mess on the floor!”

“Feathers’ll get it,”

Once in the bedroom, Keigo plopped you on the bed, climbing up over you and caging you in with his own body.

“C’mere, you pretty bird.”

He dipped down and kissed you passionately, and it wasn’t until he slipped his tongue in your mouth that you realized he never wiped your release off of his face. Your arms instinctively wrapped around his neck bringing him closer to you. As you both made out on the bed, his hand slipped between the both of you to give his cock a few pumps before swiping his tip along your slippery entrance to gather some slick.

He groaned deeply in your mouth.

“Fuck, kid, fuuuck,”

You slid your legs up some and opened them wider for him as he grinned down at you.

“Have I told you that I love you today?”

You’re grinning back now, shaking your head.

“No. I don’t think you have and I’m upset about it.”

You faux pouted. The two of you knew he’d already told both you and the chicks he loves you a couple times since he’d gotten home and it was reciprocated each time. With you both working the profession you do, it tends to do that. You’ve made it a constant habit since you two had gotten together. It was a little bit of work on his part since saying it outright when the mood strikes isn’t much within Japanese culture but, when a near death experience came late one morning you drove it home to him why it was so important to you to say it and have it said in return. Keigo’s never skipped saying it ever since that day. He was incredibly good like that.

“How could I? I made a promise, didn’t I?”

You nodded, pure love and contentment on your face. Gods, he adored the ever loving hell out of you.

“Then, let me make it up to you, baby bird.”

Guiding his length into your warmth with a flex of his jaw and ab muscles, Keigo stops to look up at you.

“Oh, I should prep you mo-oh!!”

Without warning, you dug your heels into each of his ass cheeks and pulled him into you the rest of the way.

“Fuck, fuck!”

He gasped while you took a sharp breath in as he lurched forward and caught himself just in time with hands on either side of your head. Giving you a moment to adjust, he lowered himself onto his elbows, leaning down to kiss you sweetly as he backed out, the tip of his cock remaining behind before thrusting back into you hard enough to knock the air out of your lungs. Your arms slipped under his to grip at his shoulders for stability as he began a slow but rough pace. Each drag out of your slick and gummy walls had you slowly clenching around him, the sounds of your arousal already sounding out in the room.

“M-more, Keigs, more,”

Keigo’s hand came to gently wipe your hair out of your face, his own so close to yours that you were both breathing the same air, sharing it intimately in and out through your mouths. His pace picked up some, the feeling making you hike tour legs up higher over his hips now as his gentle pace turned into the feverish hunger you knew he was fighting. Keigo roughly grasped a breast in his hand, squeezing to bring your nipple into his mouth as his hips continued to roll into you faster.

“Yeah, like that! Just like that, Kei!”

His mouth unlatched from you with a ‘pop!’, thinly rimmed golden eyes meeting yours as he took in your debauched state with a lick of his cherry kissed lips.

“Shhh, shhhh. I got you, baby,”

However, the second he felt your nails gently scrape against the patch of skin between his wings, they fluffed out from behind him and the torrent of want and need he’d held back this whole time snapped.

“But, fuck, I need more!”

Pushing off of his arms after giving you a quick kiss, he planted his large hands against the backs of your thighs, pushing them up to your chest as he snapped his hips brutally into you. The slapping of his balls against you, the sounds of your combined slick and his pre was all too much. The moment his fingers met your clit with a few perfectly pressured strokes, it had you careening towards your release as it snuck up on you and tore at the core of your lower stomach. Clenching around his length, it had Keigo looking down, a sheen of sweat all over his body as he watched with dilated pupils a creamy ring forming at the base of his cock.

“Fuckin’ beautiful, honey, goddamn it,”

You didn’t even think he caught what he’d said before his face twisted in pleasure, golden eyes rolling to the back of his head as you felt his cock throb a few times inside you.

“I’m gonna cum, ba-baby bird, I’m gonna fuckin’ cu-”

His voice choked off to let out a sinful moan as rope after rope of his cum shot into you with each throb of his cock. Keigo’s hands loosened their grip on either of your thighs, helping you put them back down gently as you both panted for breath. As he looked to you, your arms were already open to him and waiting for his inevitable collapse into you. And he did just that with a goofy smile to his lips.

“Oof! Keigs, my tits!”

He wasn’t listening, already nuzzling into your neck with kisses as his stubble scraped nicely at your skin there. Your fingers were already threading through his straw colored curls to stroke and tug just to hear him groan in delight at the feeling as you kissed the top of his head before taking a deep breath of his scent through them to ground you.

“I love you, Keigo.”

“I love you, too, my baby bird.”

You both lay there in silence, cockwarming him with your legs wrapped around him as you held one another. Keigo propped his head up, chin resting in the valley of your breasts.

“You know, about me taking the chicks with me up in the air, you can be there, y’know?”

You gave him a skeptical look, an eyebrow cocked at him.

“You can’t bring us all up there!! How’ll you do that?!”

“Feathers, silly.”

You thought about it for a moment, your attention being caught as you saw your clothes being brought back out from the walk-in closet before being rested gently back on the bed.

Well, he has saved many people with them and you knew from fighting alongside him that they were plenty strong. Hell, he’s saved even you a few times with them so you knew they were more than capable of carrying and holding you safely. Keigo would rather die than let anything bad happen to you, let alone with his own feathers. You really could be there for each occasion in the air with the chicks.

As Keigo studied you weighing your options, he decided to break the silence.

“You scared I’d drop yo-”

“Never.”

You said it with such finality and without hesitation, it had his cheeks pinking, feathers fluttering behind him with pride.

“Good. ‘Cause I’d never let you fall, kid.”

“I know. You’re my number one hero, too. Thank you, honey. It means so much to me that I’ll get to be there with you all during that. I want more glimpses into the little world you’ve built with them, too.”

He felt himself go all gooey and soft for you all over again at the shy and bashful face you made at the admission.

“You’re the center of our universe, baby. Of course we want you there.”

And just as you were gonna grin at him, showing your complete trust in him, Keigo’s lips were smothering your own with all the love he could muster. When you find yourselves pulling away for air, he says it for one last time that evening.

“I love you.”

“I love you, too, Keigs.”

Key ~

Hinadori :: Baby Bird 🐣

Tobu :: Fly 🦅

Yasashi :: Gentle 🫳🏽

🏷️ Tags :: @pervysenpaix @touyasdollmain @touyasdoll (more to come if this would fkn cooperate)

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redgoldblue · 28 days ago

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hellooo. for the fic asks: 8, 16 (to be mean back, affectionately), 20, 38!

8. Share a snippet from one of your favorite dialogue scenes you’ve written and explain why you’re proud of it.

Well, okay, I was originally thinking of a bit in I Would Break Into Your House (the dialogue immediately around the kiss in v. including "This is an intervention for your brain, not my dick.", or possibly the bit after Danny finds the grenade in iv.), but I reread the first part of the almost-finished Muncle wip today. and as stated on a previous reblog i miss Napoleon and Illya. and the major reason I like this part is that I do think it really sounds like both of them, and despite having written so much of them for last year's advent calendar, I'm still having to work to make sure I capture their voices exactly right. But I think I got them here, including Illya's understated yet campy dry snark and Napoleon's equally campy chronic unbotheredness.

(Jeanne is another agent Napoleon slept with the night before)

“Not up to your standards, my friend?” Illya asks, dropping his bag onto the nearest of the single beds. “Oh, my standards aren’t that high. Just thinking it wouldn’t be up to Jeanne’s.” “Ah, no. I can imagine many things wouldn’t be.” The look Napoleon gives him is definitely amused, a wry dart from under his eyelashes. “Didn’t take a liking to our Agent Voix?” “Am I not allowed my little foibles?” “You’re allowed as large a foible as you’d like,” Napoleon tells him, patting him on the shoulder as he passes. Sitting on his own bed, he adds, “I certainly have enough.” “We are discussing one of them,” Illya agrees.

16. If you only could write one pairing for the rest of your life, which pairing would it be?

I mean... I think I have the same answer as you actually. it is mean bc I write for so goddamn many pairings, and I love writing for all of them both separately and for the internal variety. But in the end I think I'd have to pick Steve/Danny, on historical evidence alone (the 22 in brackets after Hawaii Five-0 on my AO3 dashboard, 7 more than the next fandom down, which is one I've been writing in for... four years longer. only four years longer? god H50's been with me for a long time.)

20. Describe your perfect writing conditions.

Ooh. there's a few elements - music, moving vehicles, rain, liminal spaces/times, a certain state of tiredness where I've just gotten the perfect ability to like, zone into hyperfocus without actively getting sleepy, which is usually associated with having woken up early but not having had to do anything particularly mentally strenuous. They all came to a head in my ideal writing condition one (1) time in my life, which was getting the train from Melbourne to Sydney (a 12-hr ride) by myself, which meant leaving at 7-something am, after a brief vacation and a friend's wedding. Unfortunately I actually had to also be studying for an exam at the time, but I did get some writing in. I'm contemplating whether I can work things so I can repeat it in the opposite direction next month when this term ends (post-exams this time).

38. Talk about a review that made your day.

There is one I still have screenshotted on my desktop from two years ago, so I have to mention it. It's Starsky & Hutch fandom, which is relevant a) bc of course it is, it's the nicest most supportive most receptive fandom on earth and b) bc it's such an old fandom that comments from people you know have been in it for decades always have that extra sheen to them, y'know? And I'm sure I probably actually know who she is but I haven't managed to match username to real person but it's such a nice comment. Self-confessedly gushing about how much she loved it, which is the best type of comment. Also it was on Come Take The Wheel, one of those >10k fics I wrote entirely without deadlines, a fact that always seems vaguely miraculous to me.

fic writer asks!

#fanfic #writing #my writing #The Man From UNCLE #Napollya #Hawaii Five 0 #Starsky & Hutch #mine #itwoodbeprefect #ask games

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cotecoyotegrrrl · 11 months ago

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Once Upon A Time - Still Kind of Beautiful - part 2

Not exactly a holiday story

There's a letter on the desktop that I dug out of a drawer The last truce we ever came to from our adolescent war And I start to feel the fever from the warm air through the screen You come regular like seasons shadowing my dreams

Indigo Girls

You can find of this story in its entirety on A03 and FF

Summary:

Holly has come home for the holidays to visit family, and maybe, just maybe, find some holiday magic.

Part 2

Holly is home for the holidays. Home. What a strange and wonderful thing, even though she hasn't lived in this city in a decade, Toronto still feels like home. She comes home about once or twice a year to spend a few weeks to a month visiting friends and relatives, living in the guestroom of what is now her sister's townhouse, although she still owns it. On longer visits, like this one, she combines pleasure with business, hanging out in the morgue, getting caught up with old colleagues, and now that she let her boss talk her into being on that stupid show, giving lectures and making a few official public appearances, God or somebody help her.

It used to be easier avoiding Gail. When Sophie and Leo were young, all that Traci needed to do was to get Gail to babysit the kids for an evening and they would meet up for drinks at The Black Penny. Now that the kids are both old enough to be in collage, it's harder, even though Holly knows Gail doesn't really go out much anymore. She knows she's taken the coward's way out. As Traci says, it's been ten years for Christ's sake, what is she still afraid of? They did part as friends. Right? And now, Traci tells her, laughing at her the whole time, Sophie is a big fan of the show and wants to meet her. It's like she's become the butt of some bad, sad cosmic joke. She sighs and drops her forehead into her arms that are resting on the bar. Seamus, the regular bartender at the Penny, pushes a Jack and Coke in front of her without being asked.

"It's good to see you Doc!" He says as he goes back to polishing the glassware, "This one's on me."

"Thanks Seamus!" She smiles, sitting back up to lift the glass to her mouth. The barely tainted liquor burns all the way down.

Just the way Gail likes it, or did, in any case.

It's been ten years, three months, and sixteen days since she kissed the blonde officer goodbye at the airport on her way to her new life, not that she would know. Ten years, three months, sixteen days, and nine and a half hours since she boarded that plane to be exact, if she kept track of those kinds of things. Ten years, three months, sixteen days, and four hours since she left a message on Gail's voicemail letting her know that her flight had landed in San Francisco, and began to wait for a reply that never came. She thought about reaching out to Gail when Traci told her that Sophie's adoption didn't go through, and then again a year and a half later, when it did. She had wanted to fly home and rush to Gail's side when she heard about the internal corruption investigation, and then the trial where Gail and Steve had been forced to testify against their parents, pitting them against each other as well. But the wall of silence had stopped her. She had seen Gail from a distance on several of her visits home, always managing to slip away before she was noticed, not wanting her presence to intrude on Gail's life. She had heard from several of their mutual friends about how retched Gail had been after she left, and how Gail finally managed to pull herself together when it became clear that Children's Services were considering her once again as a parental candidate for Sophie, after Sophie's placement with a more traditional family fell apart. Who is she kidding? It isn't just Gail that she is trying to protect.

"Hey Girl! You are looking good!" She can hear the smile in Traci's voice even before she spins around on her bar stool to be grabbed into a warm hug.

"Traci!" She grins into the shoulder of the wool coat that is pressing into her cheek.

Traci pulls back, holding her at arms length for a moment and then lets go. She waives at Seamus and holds up two fingers. He nods and places two shots of bourbon and two pints of beer on the bar in front of them.

They settle into a booth in the back, talking about Holly's reluctant celebrity, and Traci's recent promotion to Regional Special Operations Team Leader and her move from Division 15 to the Ontario Police Headquarters, and about how she and Steve reconnected about a year ago and are giving dating another try.

"So you and Steve…?" Holly tilts her head, raising her eyebrows at Traci, "How is that working?"

"It's good." Traci smiles back, "I think we are really going to make a go of it this time. He has done a lot of work on himself around communication, and control, and trust."

"That's great Traci, I am really happy for you." Holly replies.

"Thanks!" Traci says, "And even better, Leo loves Steve, so he couldn't be more thrilled!"

"I can't believe he is in his second year at the University of Toronto! All grown up, and a starting Left Wing on the hockey team!" Holly smiles and shakes her head.

"You want me to get us tickets for a game while you're here?" Traci glows with pride.

"Of course!" Holly grins and finishes her drink. "Here let me get us another round."

The Penny has filled up quickly in the time they have been sitting wrapped in conversation, with the usual crowd of cops getting off the day shift, people from the neighborhood, and the occasional college student or two. Holly has to push her way to the bar and squeeze in between a couple or large guys to place their drink order. She fidgets as she waits for the new bartender she doesn't know to stop flirting a couple of girls sitting at the end of the bar. Sooner or later people she knows will be filing in after work, and then she will be here all night. She sighs and looks up to find Seamus placing their drinks before her.

"Sorry about that." He shrugs, "Jimmy doesn't know you, and he thought you were just some hot cougar out hunting cops." He smirks.

"So I'm no longer a badge bunny." She laughs, "Well at least he thinks I'm still hot."

"Darlin', you were never a badge bunny!" The voice says behind her, "And Seamus, put that on my tab."

She whirls around to be caught in a great hug that warms her down to her very soul.

"It's so good to see you." She murmurs into Oliver's ear.

"Yup. Yup, I could say the same." Oliver releases her, "Celery told me you were in town. So I figured it was only a matter of time before I caught you sneaking around down here."

"I am not sneaking around!" She replies indignantly.

"Sure you're not…" He laughs at her

"I'm not! I'm here with Traci, if you must know…" She gives him a playful shove.

"Yeah, yeah, sittin' in the back, ignoring all of us little people…" He teases. "Well look Darlin', I gotta go but maybe I'll see you when I get home on Monday?"

"Celery and I are just going to hang around the house after lunch, so you know you will." She smiles as he kisses her cheek and walks off in the direction of the dartboard.

Holly smiles to herself. It is good to be home. She has picked up the drinks and is carefully turning to return to her seat when she literally bumps into someone that stops her cold. The black leather jacket is shockingly familiar, from the tiny scull charm dangling from the zipper on the breast pocket to the knot she put in the waist belt so long ago. Looking up into eyes, framed by gold wire rimmed glasses, as dark and brown as her own, in a face she has only seen in pictures, makes Holly gasp.

"Hey! Watch it lady!" The dark curls that tumble out from underneath a watch cap, and the flawless milk-chocolate brown skin are unfamiliar, but the tone and the accompanying gesture are all Gail.

"Sophie?" Holly asks in a hushed tone.

"Oh my God!" Is all Sophie can manage as she gapes wide eyed at her hero, a blush rising in her cheeks. "Doc..Dr. Stewart? You… you know who I am?" She finally sputters.

Holly regains her composure as she watches the girl struggle.

"Wha... what are you doing here?" Sophie stutters, still obviously in shock.

Holly laughs, "I'm having a drink with your Aunt Traci."

"Oh." Sophie says, still frozen to the spot.

"Why don't you come over and say hello." Holly continues, leading the way back to the booth.

"Oh. Ok." Sophie follows like a puppy, all awkward and shy.

"Look who I found." Holly says while sliding back into the booth.

"Oh good! You've met." Traci looks up with a smile. "Hey Sophie! How's school?"

Sophie is still standing somewhat dumbstruck in front of them.

"Uh… good Aunt Traci, really good…" She finally manages.

"Sophie wants to be a Forensic Pathologist too." Traci smiles at Holly.

"Really?" Holly tilts her head with a smile, "So you want to be an uber-science nerd like me?

"Oh I don't think you're a nerd, Dr. Stewart! Well not in a bad way, anyway. I think you're amazing! And all of the cases you help solve…" Sophie gushes.

"Please. Call me Holly." She interrupts, her smile growing wider. So this is Sophie. This amazing young woman is the reason Gail couldn't come with her to San Francisco. Sitting here listening to Sophie ramble on, bubbling about forensic science, in much the same way she does herself, is like a gift she didn't know she needed. Until now. Holly finds the weight of ten years of disappointment and resentment for a life without Gail lifting as she sees the young woman before her begin to glow with excitement as she answers each question about their chosen profession. Traci is grinning ear to ear with pride across the table at her too.

"I have to say, I'm impressed." Holly grins as Sophie finishes telling them about the molecular biology project on the breakdown of DNA and methods of its reconstruction for analysis in the field she has been working on all semester. "That's quite advanced stuff you are working on!"

She watches Sophie blush, lick her lips and scuff her boot on the wooden floor and then look back up at her with wide, trusting eyes in a way that is just so Gail. It catches Holly completely off guard; it makes her want to cry all of a sudden. She can feel Traci's eyes, soft and motherly, watching her. It's all starting to be too much.

"Hey! There you are. I thought we were meeting at the bar…" Gail's annoyed voice cuts in behind Sophie.

Holly closes her eyes, takes a deep breath and leans her head against the wooden back of the booth.

"Hey Mom! I was just talking to Aunt Traci and Dr. Stewart… erm… I mean Holly!" Sophie exclaims, excitement sparkling in her eyes as she turns to face Gail.

"Oh." Gail says as all of the blood drains from her body. She licks her lips, feeling as if she has been plunged into ice water.

Traci is frozen too, looking from Holly to Gail to Sophie with frantic, worried eyes. She finally snaps out of it, springing from her seat to take Sophie gently by the arm. "Why don't we go get another round at the bar." She says, leading a thoroughly confused Sophie away from the booth.

Brown eyes open to meet blue and nothing else matters. The Penny, the noise, and everyone else all seem to disappear.

"Hello Gail." Holly says softly.

That's all it takes. Suddenly Holly is on her feet. Gail takes two quick strides forward to catch her and hold on tight.

"I've missed you." Holly finally manages to gasp in a strangled whisper.

"Me too, Holly, me too." Gail sobs quietly into her ear. "More than I can ever say."

#rookie blue #rookie blue fan fiction #gail peck #dr.holly stewart #lesbian #useless lesbian #gail and holly

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jmflowers · 2 years ago

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8, 9, 11, 14, 24 💗

8. Is there a story idea in your mental vault that you’ve never been brave enough to try writing? Is this the year? Can you tell us about it?

Oh, there are so many things puttering about in my brain. I’m really proud of myself for having written most of them down this year. There’s one prompt that’s been sitting in my inbox since June that I have tried several times to get started on and I’ve yet to be able to get it exactly right. I keep feeling slightly off-kilter once I get it going and I think that ultimately comes down to fear, since it centers on physical intimacy and I always shy away from writing things that could border into smut.

The thought was an exploration of a specific moment in time, one that was never mentioned in canon so it gives me a pretty ambiguous stretch of space to play with. And explicit smut was not requested, which is what makes my nerves around it so frustrating, haha. I’d like to use it as an opportunity to touch into a poem that’s been sitting in my inbox since May as part of the prompt party submissions, too. We’ll see. I think I just need to get over myself. Or talk through that moment in time over and over again until what I dream up feels really true to them.

9. Short term goals… what do you hope to complete this week or in January?

I have a monster piece that I’ve been working on for a couple of months that I’d like to finish before I head back to school next week. It’s sort of a sequel to Travel Light, in that it focuses on the trajectory of Beatrice’s life. I’ve nearly got part 1 (of 2? 3?) completed and I’m really looking forward to sharing it. It’s scary to post knowing part 2 hasn’t been started, but hopefully the first section will be able to standalone comfortably for a bit and then be a nice collection with the second section later.

11. Would you like to try any new fanfic genres or tropes this year?

I don’t know that I’m really a trope kind of writer. I definitely have a tendency to follow where characters take me and that’s rarely ever into fanfic-specific plot points or tropes. (I think?) I’ve been writing a lot of third person present tense for the last year, though, and I’d love to return to some of the more playful ways I used to write – specifically second person point of view. Writing in that format just tickles something in my brain that really challenges me and I don’t often get the opportunity to stretch those muscles.

14. Have you ever lost large chunks of your work in the past, due to not backing up your work? Will you change your methods this year?

Not writing so much, but I lost a ton of photos and documents back in 2012 when the hard drive in my computer got fried. I’ve been pretty good ever since – everything is backed up onto multiple external hard drives and anything I work on between both my laptop and desktop is stored on a cloud drive. School has trained me to be extremely organized with my files; I have no plans to change anything about my file management.

I did have a bunch of stories posted on FF.net back in the day and I went through years ago and removed anything that wasn’t complete that I didn’t intend to finish. I know I saved all of those documents, but I wish I had a clear record of what was once posted there. Occasionally an old reader will mention a specific story to me by title and I don’t usually have any memory of it.

24. By the end of this year, you want your fandom to think of you as “that author who ___.”

I’d like the fandom to think of me as an author who wrote something that brought them comfort. Right now, I write to create safe spaces for myself, and I share my writing so that other people can find some safe spaces, too.

#janelle's asks #fanfic ask game #fanfic asks #thank you friend!#it's fun to try to answer some of these with just a little bit of vagueness #if anyone wants to dissect that one moment in time with me until i can write it...#maybe I should try starting it in second person and see what happens #fic writing life #drlaurenb

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id0ntkn0w0101 · 2 years ago

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How to Plan a Book for Spontaneous Overthinkers - Planning/Writing Tools

Heads-up: This post is a long boi. So I'll start by saying that I am not a published author. However, I have been writing for as long as I can remember and in the past 5 years or so have started taking it much more seriously. After 3 failed Nanowrimo (National Novel Writing Month Challenge) attempts and countless others on my own time, I think I have figured out the best way for me to plan my stories in a way that gives me a set plan without causing me to overthink about planning so writing isn't boring. This first post is literally just on tools I like to use.

Planning Tools

Seeing as how writing is a creative art, a lot of it is left to opinion. So here are my tastes, opinions, and suggestions for writing tools.

Find a Writing Tool You Enjoy: For me this has historically been a typewriter, a fountain pen and a nice sturdy hardcover notebook, or a dip glass pen and ink with a faux weathered journal I got on amazon. For some you may just prefer typing it out on a computer or using a ballpoint pen and a notebook.

If you like typing stuff out on a computer... Google Docs and LibreOffice are my go-tos if you just want a standard writing experience. Google Docs is one you most likely know and lets you store everything in the cloud, but I've noticed it makes my computer run a little slowly and I've had saving issues on multiple occasions since it doesn't have a manual save feature. LibreOffice, on the other hand, is an open-source dupe for Microsoft Office that is completely free, has more features than Google Docs, and lets you manually save. Plus, you'll never have any issues with your Wi-Fi going out and not being able to access your files. If you like being able to do a mix of typing and handwriting, I recommend using OneNote. Despite it being a Microsoft app, it's free and cross-compatible with mobile devices and computers (you do have to manually sync your notebooks sometimes). However, if you use an art tablet with your computer or just a standard touch-screen tablet and a stylus, you can sketch, handwrite, and type all in the same document easily. I use OneNote for most of my planning.

If you like unique or old-fashioned writing tools... Glass or metal dip pens are a fun choice. You do have to do some personal research though based on how you want to write though. For example, I bought a glass dip pen because it had a little bit of a scratchier vibe that I enjoyed and was also better suited for writing in cursive and drawing little doodles when my brain needed a writing break. I got mine on amazon and the brand is called "Freedom of the Starry Sky" It came with a beautiful ink, a carrying case, and a little glass stand to rest the pen on. I don't have any specific recommendations for metal dip pens however. If you want an ink recommendation, however, I use and love the Windsor & Newton Black India Ink, which I got on amazon for about $7. It's great, and its water based so all you have to do to clean the residue off your pen is let it sit in some warm water for a minute and wipe it off.

If you want a typewriter... I am very autistic and typewriters are a special interest of mine so I'll try to keep this brief (spoiler alert, I failed). This isn't the cheapest option by a long shot but I love my typewriter with all my heart so I figured it should be included. Here's my tips: look on Ebay, Mercari, and Facebook Marketplace and try to find one in your budget that is at least mostly functional (my old girl is from the 40s and ribbon doesn't advance but I love her anyway). If you're going to be working at a desk, get a desktop model, but if you're like me and have no clue where you want to type, find one that is portable WITH CASE INCLUDED. Trust me you do not want to be looking for a typewriter case for a vintage typewriter online. Next, determine if you want/need a quieter model. Typewriters will never be silent, but some are made to muffle more noise than others. There is a YouTube channel called Jot and Tittle and they make demos of vintage typewriters where you can hear how loud they are and see how they are to work with. So if you find a specific model you're considering buying, make sure to check there to see if the keys are the right amount of clicky and the write amount of clacky for your needs. You'll also need to find ink ribbon, which you can easily find on ebay. If you have any questions or need to do/have a repair done, I recommend r/typewriters on reddit or finding a typewriter repair shop or other forum online.

Other Things I Recommend:

Random Generators: Whether it be for writing prompts, opening lines, names of any kind you can possibly think of, settings and locations, or really anything, I promise there is a random generator for you. For all things names (locations or people), I use Fantasy Name Generators, but anything you can think of has a generator online if you look.

Baby Name Websites: Sometimes you want a unique but realistic character name and you want to include the meaning or have the meaning of the name be an integral part of the story. If that's you, go to baby name websites. Most of them let you search by meaning or even pick a name you like (for example, a character whose name you like) and find similar names easily.

AI Story Generators: For the love of all that is holy, unholy, or right in the middle, do not publish or post anything written by AI and call it your own. However, if you can't decide how to write a scene or if you need a way to start the next chapter, or anything like that, use an AI generator and EDIT it afterwards. Most of these programs are subscription based or have a free trial or have a limited amount of generations per month, just so you know.

So that's all I have to say on this specific topic, but as soon as I finish this post I will be working on writing the next post on genres and genre expectations using the genres of my own current novel I'm planning as examples, so be sure to check that out if interested. Have a great day and please comment if you have any questions or if you're not going to be an ass. Thanks!

#creative writing #writing advice #writing community #on writing #writing #writeblr #writer

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eyedove · 2 years ago

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ahhh, and for a moment, things were still!! except not really, because the problem was still happening all around me and i wanted an excuse to get the fuck outta there.

and then i went to feed the rats their dinner and behold! three come to the bowl!

problem is i have four rats!

me talking about how much he meant to me below the cut.

so i went a hunting and yeah. my poor skrunkly. down at the bottom of the cage. curled up. none of his brothers had gotten to him and started to clean him up yet, so he was fully there. he looked so handsome. hes always been a very handsome boy.

i hung out with him for a while, just like i did last night. just like last night, once i had his favorite blankie, he climbed right into my arms and was happy to be cuddled right up to my chest to stay warm.

last night we sat at the computer for hours watching jerma and snuggling. he was sleepy at first, but once he got a good nap in, he was ready to run around and explore. he looked at all my toys on my desktop. he hid under all my laundry. he crawled into my blankets on my bed. he ran around on the floor, sniffing everything he could, and then, when he found a nice dark warm spot by the heat vent, he went still, totally relaxed, and started to fall asleep.

i went up to him with his blankie and wrapped him up and started to pet him. he was so calm. a year ago, he didn't like anybody in the world touching him. no humans allowed. he would fight any human who came close to touching his brothers. if the cat got her nose too close to the cage, he would snap and bite. he was not socialized properly when he was raised, and he was shipped to us in an inhumane manner. it was the middle of summer and he was in a carrier too small for four rats to fit into comfortably, and he was put in the trunk of a hot car. he was traumatized and afraid of humans.

slowly i started getting him used to me opening the cage door. then me leaving him snacks on the floor. then me getting him to eat them out of my hand. then getting him to lick liquid food off my fingers. then him letting me pet him, but only on the forehead and chin.

then he got sick. he could only eat baby food and formula, or crunchies that had been broken down into tiny pieces. but he was such a fucking champ about it. he started to get excited about seeing me when i came with his painkillers and his snacks that were special for him. he would meet me on a different floor of his house than his brothers so he could have his special snack without them stealing it from him.

he started holding my hand. if i handed him a treat, he would eat it, but he'd keep a tiny, tiny hand on my finger and hold it until he was done. he started refusing to eat out of a dish - he only wanted it if i was giving it to him on my fingers or if i was holding a cup full of it for him. he started crawling on my shoulders and my arms and my head and riding around with me.

i remember the first time we took a shower was because he was getting too old to clean himself, so i brought him to the bathroom, cranked the heat, and bathed him in warm water in the sink. he cleaned himself and then wanted to explore the whole bathroom, so i picked him up - something he never wouldve let me do six months before that - and showed him everything there was to see in the bathroom.

then, last night, i took him in my room. my parents were fighting. i really, really, really wanted an excuse - any excuse - to leave and shut myself in my room. benji crawled into my lap. i dont think he knew, but he helped me so much. i have so much shitty ptsd that sends me into panic attacks when there's a noise somewhere in the house i dont recognize, or if someone says something far away and i cant quite make out what it is. and me, terrified, is sitting there, and he squirms into my lap and hides in my shirt and falls asleep.

so i pick him up and take him to my room. we relax. we watched jerma. he ran around. he got tired. i cupped him in my hands with his blankie around him. i rubbed him and pet him and told him he was a little warrior. a little protector. he always from day one has protected his brothers so fiercely from everyone around him. i told him i was so, so, so honored that he chose me to be friends with. i told him that his friendship meant so much to me. i told him that earning his friendship was one of the most fulfilling things ive ever done. i told him that all my rats have taught me things, and that hes taught me that i can change. eventually. some time. it doesnt have to be now. it doesnt have to be ten, twenty, forty years from now. but i can change. i can make friends who just like me for me, and not even the me that i pretend to be to get those friends. because it never, ever, ever felt like a chore to take care of him. i told him that he was my little boy, and i love him so much. he fell asleep in my hands, so i picked him up and brought him back to his cage - the house was silent by then, everyone having gone to their separate rooms and gone to sleep. me and benji were the only ones left. me and benji spent our time that the rest of the world, even his brothers, spent sleeping, making each other feel needed and wanted. like we were part of something together, that was just us. just me and benji.

i set him in his cage last night and i told him good night. i will see you in the morning, baby. have a good nap with your brothers. and he woke up - he woke up, he looked around, realized he was back at home, and yawned, and crawled into his box with his brothers to snuggle up and sleep. it's been so cold. they all slept together warm and cozy.

im so glad i had that last night with him. im so glad i got to say everything i wanted to to him. im so glad that in the fucking mind-boggling long time that humans and rats have existed, and how ridiculously many rats and humans are on this planet at any given time, that he was my boy. out of all of them, he was my boy. he is still my boy.

#animal death #pet death #vent #but also just. a history of benji's life #because i think its beautiful

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enigmaincrimson · 4 months ago

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Just as a small reminder... Just because I seem to be inactive, doesn't mean I'm not lurking. I don't think too highly of myself and just feel reluctant approaching people. That and I tend to lose track if I don't hear back from anyone in awhile... I'm also easily distracted and terrible with name.

So um... Don't be afraid to send stuff whenever you guys and gals feel like it.

Right now, the desktop is down for thermal issues, I'm trying to get a ten year old laptop to run Linux, and the phone is losing support in a few months... It might not sound like much, but well... I depend on those things and replacing anything is kind of a luxury right now.

Okay, so I went off topic.

Still though, I am always worried that I might mess something up and everyone is going to get angry with me again, so I tend to be reluctant with making the first approach.

That and some of the verses need polish or a revamp... As they have some holes and glitches that aren't up to my standards as I kind of shot the first draft out there and things stalled out.

Still not sure if I'm happy with the verse layout either.

Sleeping patterns are a mess, I've forgotten what sleep feels like more times than I could count.

I really want to do something, but little niggly things that I'm still trying to fix tend to become big problems very easily around here.

Like... I've put off coming up with a proper peerage for the Highschool DxD verse for some time now... But it has the same issue with all the verse notes...

There's this pesky dance, where things have to be close enough to canon interactions that they have a reason to be involved with the main cast, but not so close so they interfere with events...

Like the RWBY verse has this problem. Sure, she'd have a reason to be at Beacon because of Pyrrha, but with both the school gone and her sibling no longer living, she's not going to stick around and follow Ruby and co everywhere.

She just kind of drifts off... Kind of like the Fairy Tail verse with the first time skip. Sure, she comes back when Erza does, but that's how she kind of is...

If also love to deal with the faceclaim issues, but... I don't feel comfortable trying until I am exactly sure what I want... Since it's going to be a complicated mess... With various strings attached. Others just come with complicated procedures that I just don't have the time for, so even if I did get things figured out, it just feels like I'm putting out more effort than they are willing to give back.

Besides, I already know that I'm considered the bad guy in multiple circles for reasons I don't understand and things that just don't make sense... And I'm worried I'll lose more people I know because of them.

So I usually sit here all day wondering how long I'll get to do anything without ending up being cut off... Usually over something that just doesn't make sense.

I'm sorry, okay?

#enigmaincrimson #ooc

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turtleduck-tea · 8 months ago

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Just reached Zuko Alone in my rewatch and god yeah no wonder this altered my brain chemistry when I was 13

It's the first episode I ever saw. Little me, in my grandma's house on vacation in Hungary, watching cartoons on the little old box tv she had in crappy hungarian dubs. I was never interested in atla before, but there was only one kids channel, and that's what came on, so I watched it. And god.

I had absolutely zero context at all, but it was an instant special interest and it hit with a force. I'd never experienced anything like that before, and haven't since. The autism gods looked down upon me and pried open my third eye to look at this sad fire boy. I also knew nothing about Zuko outside of that episode, but I didn't need to, I was deeply in love with him immediately (hey, listen, I was 13).

The wifi at my grandma's was a mythical being that only existed in legend, and as such I was unable to even look anything up about the show. I had nothing to fuel my new love and a whole month left there before I'd get to go home to my reliable internet connection. It was hard catching episodes daily too because we weren't just always sitting around at home, and this was before the days where you could rewind the tv. I made up possible plotlines in my mind. I hyperfixated on those. I was desperate.

But my god. I've never felt love so strongly before. I saw Zuko in my dreams (again, 13 year old kid). I turned 14 later that summer. I imagined he was there to celebrate with me. I was also exhibiting other signs of mental illness, strangely no one ever noticed. I made my grandma watch atla with me. I think she liked it.

And then, at last, summer ended and I got to go home. The moment we arrived after a 14 hour car ride I ran to my room and turned on my computer's life support (I had an old-ass box desktop and big computer box thing combo, handed down from my grandfather, and I was incredibly lucky for it). Finally I could get to watch the show that's been taking over every cell of my body. I hadn't thought of anything else even for a second all summer. I had entire AUs and fanfics planned despite knowing at most the bare minimum of what the show is actually about. Category 11 autism event. And at last here I was, and I found the episodes online in german, and hit play, and it worked!

And I managed to watch it for two minutes. Before I turned it off. Despite all my autism I actually had to turn it off, because even though I wanted nothing more in the whole wide world than to finally watch atla. The german dub sucks so much ass. I couldn't do it. I just couldn't.

So I turned it off. And I sat my ass down. And I started learning english. So I could watch atla.

And just to be clear. English was my worst subject. I was awful at it. But the german dub was so utterly horrid that it hyperfixation-fueled me into learning a whole ass language and I'm now more fluent in it than some native speakers. When I tell you I went from barely passing the class to writing whole fanfictions in MONTHS. Look at me writing this post. I don't even know how to write in german anymore.

So, yeah, Zuko Alone. If it'd been any other episode I probably wouldn't have ever become interested. Giving me that episode in that very moment was divine intervention. I needed that. This was supposed to be a short post but listen guys ZUKO ALONE. OKAY. I have feelings about this.

I was never the same (I was better)

#avatar the last airbender #atla #rambling. sorry #my only excuse is. have i mentioned the autism #my mom and i uaed to feed ducks when i was little #that was our thing #when i first saw this episode it was only 4 years after mom died and left me with my abusive dad #so in hindsight. no wonder it instantly rewired my brain #i saw a boy like me and said i need him #and then later i saw that boy grow and become better than his father was #and i think that's a very big part of why i'm alive today. and why i'm the person i am #just. this show man. this fucking show

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marblesarelost · 2 years ago

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Updates!

So one of my kids now receives Social Security b/c of Jody's death.

I have been receiving notices with the paper checks that I need to get it switched to direct deposit. I sat down last month and tried for three days to enroll online, and it wouldn't. Kept giving me error messages.

Today, I was going to sit on the phone and call them over and over and over (because for some reason, no one ever picks up the phone at Social Security, even if you call the local number) but I decided I would try one more time to do it online.

Guess what?

It worked this time. YAY

I may miss the June check -- it's totally possible -- but here's hoping it all gets taken care of before then.

Got the taxes done and paid on Monday, and while it was ugly, it wasn't as ugly as I was afraid of.

I've torn down and packed away three of the book/accessory shelves here in the office, one of the shelves in the living room. I haven't started packing the books yet; I need to, I know.

Today/this weekend, I'm clearing out the office closet, and then I'm getting started on the kitchen. I may need Pukha to help me with the stuff on top of the fridge and on top of the cabinets -- in fact I probably should have him do it -- because I am just not tall. He's tall enough that he should be able to do it without getting up on top of the counters.

I'm just throwing crap I'm not taking into boxes and putting it on/around the back porch for now; I'm going to call a local service to haul it all away. I would have had Junk King bring me a dumpster (I've used them before and I like them) but I need strong guys to help me with this, as I'm also getting rid of my old couch that Charlie tore hell out of.

I also need to take the (counts) three old desktops to a local computer shop and have them download the data onto a separate hard drive or something before wiping them completely and recycling or reselling them.

I need to call the moving company and inform them I'm no longer going to Connecticut and some other stuff.

I've taken a very quick glance at USAJobs and Craigslist, and while I don't intend to start "looking" looking for work until after school starts, so I have an idea when the Kiddo will get home every day, what kind of schedule I'll need, that sort of thing, it looks like I should be able to find something until I figure out what I'm going to do next.

Some people have told me I should just take some time anyway; I've been through so very much since last September, they think I should just kind of...chill...for a while.

I have to admit I'm tempted, but I don't know that I can do that. Sure, I've budgeted out what I think will cover a year's worth of expenses, but I don't KNOW that it will.

Oh, and my book lists have expanded again; I've added paper copies of several books that I have on Audible on the lists. Audiobooks are great, but it's really hard to go to exactly what I want in audiobooks. It's mainly non-fiction, though there are some fiction pieces in there as well that I can probably find used. I'm almost certainly going to have to buy more bookshelves when I get there.

So long story short...things are moving. Every day brings me a little closer to being ready to go.

#life #life changes #moving #planning to move #packing #I hate packing #But it's necessary

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whoretan · 2 years ago

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ARK 45 | 01

Summary: Actions have consequences and when your boss Jimin lets you know you'll be working undercover at ARK 45 for no other than Jeon Jungkook, you feel as though you've gotten yourself into something that will eventually get you killed.

WC: 4.4k

Play me while you read.

Pairing: Club Owner/Mafia!Jungkook, Hitman!Reader

Genre: Dark Romance, Angst and Smut (Eventual)

Chapters: 1 (ur here) | 2

Warning: undercover working as stripper, reader has done some fucked up things and will witness much worse, graphic and explicit themes, trauma is ur new best friend, people will die and there is a lot of betrayal, but at least it'll have some good porn, right?, reader is badass tho

“Do you work here?”

Your eyes lul over from the desktop to a redhead with a face full of freckles. Pretty? Sure. Dumb as hell? Apparently.

Your eyebrows knit at the question, unsure if she really asked you that, given the fact that you’re sitting at the receptionist's desk. You can’t help the amused tug of your lips when you say, “What does it look like, cupcake?”

Redhead apparently does not appreciate your question because her nose immediately scrunches as she scowls. With a huff and a roll of her dark brown eyes, she points to the ‘Employee’s Only’ door to your right. Your brows lift and you look behind at the black doors then back to her.

“Is Jimin in today?”

Now, you’re intrigued. You plant your chin on your palm, which rests on the surface of the glass desk, and grin, “And how do you know Jimin works here?”

Her face flashes and the red hue of her cheek instantly pale. Looks like Jimin didn’t give Little Miss Sunshine the notice that she shouldn’t be here without an appointment, asking stupid questions that could get her killed.

“I-“

You cut Redhead off because it looks like she’s about to cry and you’re not in the mood to listen to her whining. Besides, it’s ten in the morning and you clocked in an hour ago for fucks sake.

Lifting your pointer finger toward Redhead, you grab the receiver to your right and press number one— Jimin’s office.

It rings once, before a familiar deep voice answers, “I’m listening.”

“There’s a pretty Redhead standing right in front of me asking to see you, isn’t that interesting?”

Jimin sighs, mumbles a few explicit words, and finally says, “Bring her to my office.”

Looks like Redhead does know Jimin.

Your grin grows wider, and when you meet Redhead's gaze she suddenly spins around. You hang up on your Boss with a murmur and by the time you place the phone back into its original spot, Redhead’s gripping the handle to the exit.

“I wouldn’t do that if I were you.”

Your words hold no malice, but the message is there. She will regret walking out now that she’s made her presence known. Now that you’ve seen her face.

Redhead halts, body unmoving for a solid few seconds before retreating from the glass. When she turns back to face you, her cheeks burn a bright red which matches her hair delightfully. Her lip quirks inward as she sucks on it using her teeth, and you somewhat feel bad.

Her fuck up will either result in her miraculously walking out of the office, or not. Simple. Once you walk her through the doors, she’s no longer your problem.

Yet, you can’t help but feel intrigued. Why would a girl like her come here? What made her grow the balls to show up to a place like this alone and unannounced? She knows Jimin, but so do the hundreds of others that flock to his side like insects.

“What’s your name?” The question leaves your lips before you can stop the wandering thought.

Her gaze lingers on yours, she releases her bottom lip and looks to the carpet. “Miranda Ricci.”

Instinctively, your finger taps the glass, long nails clicking against the surface at the familiar name. She’s here about Richard Ricci, the man you killed four days ago. An old, sleazy fuck that’d been meddling with Jimin’s shipments in the Terrero Region. The shit-bag had it coming.

Jimin even had the courtesy of sending you out a month prior as a warning. Senior Ricci had too much pride though, and it was exhilarating draining every ounce of it out of his body.

You wonder if she knows her best friend ratted Daddy out to Jimin.

Not like she’d ever find about that.

So, like any good secretary would, you stand from your desk, and motion toward the black door. As Miranda approaches you, you place your hand on the small of her back and lean in, “Don’t say anything that’ll get you killed, darling.”

She tenses under your hold indicating your message was heard loud and clear.

“So?” You ask as you push open one of the double doors leading to Jimin’s office.

About two minutes ago, Redhead ran out of the black door with tears streaming down her freckled face. She didn’t even bother to spare you a glance on her way out.

Jimin’s sat at his desk with his head bent over the top of his chair.

He groans.

Someone’s unhappy. But then again, if the daughter of a crime boss you ordered to have murdered came into your office you’d be irritated too.

“She’ll do it.”

You plop onto one of the leather couches in the middle of his obnoxiously large office and scarf down the Dunkin Donut’s jelly-filled donut you Uber’d.

“So what’s the problem?”

Swallowing down the drier-than-expected donut, you peer over to Jimin who’s lifted his head to look at you. There’s a twinge of concern etched on his pretty face and your stomach flips because when Jimin’s concerned, there’s a fucking problem.

Jimin’s eyes blaze and he crosses his feet in front of him. “She wants to know who killed her father.”

Well, that could be a potential problem.

You tilt your head and smile, pretending like the statement doesn’t phase you in the slightest.

“You think she’ll try to have me killed?”

Jimin breaks his gaze, looking over toward his shelves of books. He’s deep in thought, most likely weighing out the options you two have. If it’s worth the potential risk of admitting that his secretary killed her father, or simply lying. Either way, Redhead will convince her brother to get rid of all of the shipments coming from Terrero.

“I do.”

You can’t help but glare at Jimin. Even though the answer is expected, hearing the words leave his mouth leaves you grinding your teeth.

You’d kill the bitch before she even gets the chance to tell her brother who’d murdered their sweet little Daddy, hell— you’ll drop off a letter with every single fucking detail.

“I need you to spy on them.”

Your eyes turn to slits, and you bite at the inside of your cheek. Spy on one of the most influential Mob families in New York? They have undercover agents, security, and influence from every fucking corner to alley. It’s like Jimin wants you to die.

“More importantly, on Jungkook.”

The sound of Jungkook’s name piques your interest. The stepson of Richard Ricci. Jungkook’s biological mother married Richard after immigrating from Korea, who’d given his stepson half of his businesses, letting him run drug transactions disguised in form of clubs.

The corner of Jimin’s lip tugs upward and you chuckle because he’s challenging you. Pushing you past what could very well be your limits. What might just finally get you killed.

You lick your lips, tasting the sweetness left over from the donut. You suck on your bottom lip between your teeth, unable to stop the smile from forming on your face. “And how exactly do you want me to do that?”

Jimin’s mischievous eyes hold yours. You’re not going to like his answer and he knows it.

He runs a fingertip over his bottom lip as he assesses his words, their weight, and how you’ll react.

“You’ll work at ARK 45.”

You snort, then puff out a breath, completely baffled, “You want me to work at his strip club?”

“I need you to,” he says flatly.

“And if he recognizes my face?”

He glares at you because the question is stupid and you almost turn away from embarrassment because you’re being irrational.

“No one knows your face, Viper.”

Your eyes hold his, clenching your jaw, and the air crackles between you both.

Jimin rarely uses the name, like it’s been forbidden from his tongue. But it reminds you of who you are. Not a receptionist, but a weapon which he yields at will.

You blink and your Boss’s eyes flash with sympathy, as though you’d gotten yourself into something that will eventually kill you.

You swallow, tear your gaze away, and walk from the couch without another look back. You don’t want to think about what will come out of this.

ARK 45 pulses with slow-paced, sensual music. The walls drum with vibration and the street thuds beneath your stilettos with each passing beat. You inhale sharply, taking in the red hue illuminating from the grand windows fifty floors above you.

“Name?” The bouncer asks, giving you one solid look from head to toe.

You peer at the man who’s holding a clipboard with what you guess is a list of names. Jungkook doesn’t like strangers entering his territory. He thrives on keeping his enemies under his radar.

The bouncer wears black-rimmed sunglasses regardless of the fact that it’s well past midnight and the dragon tattoo snaking its way up from his nail into the shadows beneath his shirt convinces you he does more than just play security. He’s attractive even with the grays in his beard and the wrinkles around his mouth that give his age away.

“Joanna Webb,” you lie, providing him with the name Jimin fabricated for you.

He nods and quickly flips through the pages, skimming down the list of what feels like ten thousand names. He then grabs the pen that's lodged into his ear and presses it between his lips, leaving the cap between the folds. He writes something down and nods towards the two glass doors.

With a quick thanks, you push past him and head toward the entrance. The two doors are completely transparent, except for the large black handles, the left with a number four and the right with a five.

The first floor of ARK 45 serves as a receptionist area, and if it wasn’t for the three grand chandeliers that hang from the ceiling that conceal the painted ARK 45 in red bold letters, you’d mistake it for any other lobby of an overpriced hotel.

The real action comes fifty floors above, where the core of ARK 45 sits.

The bar turned Strip Club after ten is Jungkook’s main event. What draws people into the ARK 45 is its enticing women and mysterious owner.

To everyday people, Jeon Jungkook is a young multi-millionaire who built his clubbing empire without using the aid of his Daddy. A single bachelor that has girls from all backgrounds coming to try out for a position at his club, for a single glimpse of him.

To others— people like you and Jimin— Jungkook is a pest. A menace with a presence too large for the entirety of New York. Killing his father was a pinch in his ass, nothing more. Truthfully, he’s probably happy the fucker is dead.

Jimin had you kill Richard as a warning to Jungkook.

Because Jungkook runs the shipments from Terrero, not his father.

Because Jungkook decided to keep them running even after Jimin warned him not to.

Jungkook will kill you after he finds out you slaughtered his father. Not because he loved Daddy dearest, but because you ruptured his ego, his pride, and tested his territory.

He’ll kill you as a warning to others to not fuck with the Jeon name.

Luckily for you, no one bats an eye at Jimin’s secretary. Which makes your job eerily easier.

You saunter toward the elevators and press the metal button to your left, it glows red as the elevator hauls down to you. The elevator doors slide open, revealing an empty box with mirrors on all sides.

Momentarily, you take a good look at the red cocktail dress Jimin had delivered to your apartment. The way it clings to all your curves, hugs your body in the right corners without making it feel like you’re suffocating beneath the cotton. He knows what kind of man Jungkook is, what he likes on women, and what he doesn’t. The attached note of, “Wear this, and nothing else. Love, Jimin” confirmed your assumption.

The doors begin to slide inward before you’d stepped in and with a quickened step you squeeze past the closing doors and heave a sigh. You glance at the columns of numbers and linger on the ‘P.O’ at the very top, the button to Jungkook’s office.

Which is most definitely guarded by security.

Huffing, you press the number fifty and watch it erupt with light. The elevator thuds and then proceeds up. You watch the numbers increase, from one to ten, twenty, thirty, forty, till the elevator dings and the wave of music hits you like a tsunami.

It’s louder— way louder— than outside and your ears pop as you step out of the elevator. ARK 45 is well known for its exclusivity. The walls are painted a dark brown, and the booths are designed into the walls, making the space feel intimate. The stage is in the center of the room, with a single spotlight shining down on it and an array of diamonds and jewels hanging from threads. Every booth has a girl assigned to it, and VIP has two girls with a separate area on a loft to the corner of the club. Attached to the loft are booths that hang from different areas in the upper walls, giving its special guests a view unlike any other.

It’s packed to the brim with men hungrily eyeing the workers, their exposed breasts, and petite frames. The sensual rhythm pumps through your ears and as you make way through the floor your heels vibrate. It smells like vanilla with a hinge of musk which is predominantly radiating from the men.

You scope the area, and your eyes fall onto a dip in the wall where the mirror in the walls deflects the booming lights ever so slightly. There are two-way mirrors on the upstairs floor.

Men like Jungkook need control— crave it, and you can bet your life that his office is located at the very top, overlooking the guests as if he were God.

Below one of the panels lights pulses a red ‘LADIES ONLY’ sign.

You make your way through the main floor, avoiding the lingering gazes from the men sitting at the tables which are scattered throughout the floor. The last thing you need right now is to draw attention to yourself, unwanted attention specifically.

Without much thought, you push the door open and are met with girls sitting at vanities fixing their makeup, hair, or outfits. Some are half naked, or entirely, while others wear burlesque type of outfits, big feathers and all.

Blinking, your eyes adjust to the white light that contrasts the dark red in the main area of the club. You stand there like an idiot, but they pay you no mind, too enticed in the music and the atmosphere of the club to worry about someone entering the dressing room.

“You’re late.”

You spin and an older woman with brown hair and red lipstick scowls in your direction.

Here goes nothing.

“I need to speak to Jungkook,” you say.

Her lips purse and she eyes your silhouette before sighing, “You have fifteen before you need to be on the stage.”

You nod and she points in a direction to the right. With another turn, you walk away and head toward another door. After pushing through, there’s a staircase and two more doors with white letters that read “Showers” and “Lockers”.

Stairs it is.

You look over your shoulder and peek through the circular hole before booking it up the stairs.

Confused, and completely lost you feel a tinge of disgust in your sloppiness.

You’re not thinking properly. You stormed into the dressing room, lied and now you’re standing at the edge of a door that you don’t even know leads to Jungkook’s office.

Your hand hovers over the wood, and you’re unsure if you should knock or walk the fuck away.

Jimin sent you to the Lion’s Den and you’re lost for the first time in your life.

You kill. That’s your job. To kill, mercilessly and selfishly. Not to play dress-up and dance on a pole for the same men you torture daily.

You turn away, ready to walk down the stairs and out of the club when you remember Miranda. She’s searching for you, so is Jungkook, and when they find you they’ll end you. They’ll do everything in their power to make sure the Viper hangs from a noose outside of ARK 45.

Are you willing to risk everything you’ve worked so hard for because the Jeon’s need their ego fed?

You wipe the perspiration from your forehead. When you look at your hand, you glimpse at the cut beneath your thumb, the one Richard managed before you slit his throat. Your temples pound in sync with your increasing heartbeat.

To hell with Miranda and Jungkook.

With a wicked turn, you gouge at the handles and force the doors open. Swinging in full force as a bull would, you’re prepared to meet the gaze of Jeon Jungkook but you’re met with nothing.

It’s empty.

You look around the over-the-top luxurious office. It’s ridiculous, with a 180-degree view of the dance floor, the fucker can see everything happening downstairs. It has a large lounge area with a fully stocked bar and leather stools that line up the front of the conference table area. You even notice a hallway with a private bathroom and an extra door.

You step forward, nearing the desk by the wall.

You’ll kill him.

“What are you doing in my office?”

Your heart thumps against your chest with the speed of light and it almost hurts. Breathe, Jesus fucking Christ breathe. You’re the Viper. You’re used to situations where you’re caught off guard, where you risk your life for the “greater good” as Jimin jokes.

So why the fuck are you paralyzed?

You turn and you see the Grim Reaper himself.

The man—undoubtedly Jeon Jungkook is tall, well built, and dark.

He’s wearing a black suit, perfectly tailored. It compliments the tan accompanying his throat and tattooed hands. His black hair, shorter in the front with longer ends frames the most beautiful face you’ve ever seen.

Jungkook’s dark eyes are narrowed to slits. His straight brows, the small bump to his nose, and the flawless curve of his lips are all enhanced by the metal ring pierced into its corners.

His eyes roam over you, taking in every detail. But his features remain motionless, and in all your years you’d never seen such coldness in a human face.

You’re staring at him open-mouthed, frozen in horror as if you hadn’t murdered his father a week ago and enjoyed every fucking second of it. His mere presence has reduced you to a shell of who you truly are.

It feels like twenty minutes have passed. The silence ticks by, and he cocks an eyebrow up, amused by your reaction.

Finally your voice rasps out, “Job. I’m here for a job.”

“You’re here for a job?” He questions as if it’s the most ridiculous thing he’s ever been asked.

“Is that a problem?” Your voice rises, the edge of hysteria sharp as barded wire.

He tucks his hands into his pockets and laughs, perfectly straight teeth on full display. His laugh echos tauntingly in your head and your patience hangs on a loose thread.

“I don’t just hire anyone, sweetheart. My girls are top of the fucking top,” he muses.

You blink.

“I am the top of the top.” The words are out of your mouth before you could stop them, instantly wishing you could reach out and take them back.

The last time you danced publicly was ten years or so ago. At a Christmas Recital, your parents forced you to participate in. And the last time you stepped foot into a Strip Club was when you had to lodge a knife between the owner's eyes.

Jungkook takes a small step forward and as if you’re the same poles of a magnet, you take one step back.

He removes one hand from his pocket and a glint of amusement stirs in his eyes as if you’d just performed a trick that entertained him. Your stomach churns and you can’t stomach the sinking feeling that you did not want to be Jeon Jungkook’s personal entertainment for the night. And an even stronger feeling that you already are.

Jimin said this would be easy. Walk in, shake your ass a little here and there and you’d get the job. Yet here you are standing a mere foot away from the one man he said to stay away from completely engulfed by his presence.

“What’s your name, darling?”

You gulp, and the name Jimin gave you runs in mismatched pairs in your brain. Jocelyn? Jaclyn? Jacky? Think.

An odd thumping begins in your chest as Jungkook’s gaze falls down onto your body once again. Joan, Joanelle, Joanna.

Joanna.

It’s Joanna.

“Joanna.” The name is foreign on your tongue, but, Jungkook’s face remains emotionless.

His eyes narrow on your stilettos. “And you think I’d hire you, Joanna?” He drawls the last syllable of the name and his heavy gaze travels upward eventually meeting yours.

Your eyes burn from the intensity. How can the face of an angel have the eyes of a blackhole?

Too afraid to tear away from the darkness pulling you toward him. You nod, slowly.

“Dance for me.”

You stare at him, probably looking dumbfounded as hell. He nods his head toward the chairs beside you.

“I-“

“You want the job, don’t you? How else would you get it besides impressing me?” A frightening smirk lifts his lips and he approaches you.

His dress shoes are heavy against the wooden panels of the floor and you’re cemented to the floor. Unable to move an inch.

You’ll have to dance for him.

Your heart pounds so loudly you think it’ll rip from your ribcage.

You don’t even know if you can dance.

Something caresses your skin and when you stare at the finger, Jungkook’s seated in the chair directly beside you. During your daze, he must’ve turned on the speakers because a Weeknd song you recognize vibrates the room, consuming you.

Imma care for you, you, you…

Your eyes fix on Jungkook once more, on his cold, malicious and painfully beautiful face.

Jungkook’s head cocks to the side and so does a strand of his hair, following the axis of his body with haunting motion. Every instinct in your body is keeping to run away from him, fuck Jimin’s plans and reap his rath as punishment later.

But Jungkook’s hand envelopes your wrist and you swallow the saliva that’s gathered in your mouth and step in front of him.

You make it look like it’s magic.

Jungkook’s hand slides from your wrist to the top of the armrest. His dark eyes remained locked with yours and in your life, you’ve never been as frozen as you are right now. It has everything to do with his cold touch, face, and demeanor. This must be what it feels like to have your soul ripped out by the Grim Reaper.

He’s going to eat you alive.

Cause I see nobody, nobody but you, you, you…

Your heart soars with explosive fireworks when Jungkook opens his legs, giving you the access to his lap.

He’s expecting a lap dance.

As if noticing your hesitation, he says, “You can always suck my cock.“

Your finger twitches and the unnerving ease in his manner of speech sends your throat into anaphylaxis.

You have to dance.

I’m never confused.

You shake your head, and inch into the space between Jungkook’s legs. You’ll kill Jimin for this, rip his balls out and serve them on a platter. Right now though, you have to dance.

Hey, hey. I’m so used to being used.

You spin around, because if you have to look into those scorching eyes for another moment you’ll surely pass out. It’s easier facing his desk, facing a blank wall.

So I love when you call unexpected, cause I hate when the moments expected.

Using your heels as leverage, you sway your to the rhythm of The Weeknd’s voice. His soft words coursing your ears, guiding you through this torture.

Your hands find their way to the back of your thighs, grazing the exposed skin ever so slightly before proceeding to your ass. You linger at the shell of your asscheeks, and you use your index fingers to carve out the shape of them.

So imma care for you, you, you…

There’s warmth on your hip, and you try to steady your breath after realizing Jungkook’s using his hands to guide your hips lower and lower. You allow him because rationality is out of the window at this point, you lost it the second you stepped foot into this cell.

Cause girl you’re perfect, always worth it, and you deserve it, the way you work it.

It’s like your ass collides with a wall. Jungkook’s hard muscles tense beneath you and you grind yourself into him. Into the darkness that’s consuming you from every possible angle.

The warmth of Jungkook’s body sends shivers down your spine, and the way both of his hands are now gripping your hips, ushering you to glide back and forth on his erect cock. You’re grinding against him, feeling the thick swell of his cock pressed between your clothed ass.

“Get off,” he growls into your ear.

The trance you’d put yourself in lifts and you blink repeatedly as Jungkook pulls you off his lap.

When you’re back onto your feet, you spin and Jungkook’s eyes blaze darker than you’d ever seen them.

He was— is hard.

What’s the problem?

The sweet melody of The Weeknd comes to a close and you finally take notice of the remote on the armrest.

Jungkook stands and there’s no space between you now. His face is inches from yours, bodies so close that his heat and yours radiate in one continuous loop, feeding the tornado brewing.

He wets his lips, his features dissolving the lust present seconds ago.

“I don’t hire whores.”

And with those words, he pushes past you and walks the fuck away.

Next Part.

1K notes · View notes

boldlyvoid · 2 years ago

Text

Breakable Heaven | Chapter Three: Emails

18+

Summary: Andy logs onto her dad's computer and steals the email of his resident genius.

Warnings: mature themes, flirting, Haley making assumptions, canon typical violence (plot points and script from season 1 episode 1)

Word count: 4.3k

Masterlist

The first thing she did when she got home that night was sneak into her dad's home office. Haley was in the master bedroom, on the other side of the second floor, so she wouldn’t hear the door creak as Andy pushed it open.

Her dad wasn’t the best with technology, so his password to his computer was on a sticky note beside the screen. She types it in, waits for the desktop to load and then finds his email.

“Search bar, search bar, ah,” she mumbles to herself while she works. “S-p-e-n there he is. [email protected]... w?” She wonders what his middle name could possibly be, but either way, she had his email now.

She logs off, turns the monitor off and shuts the door behind herself, hoping it looked like she was never in there. She skips down the hall to Haley's room, knocking lightly before she pushes the door open, “I’m home.”

“How was it?” She smiles, putting her book down and sitting up more.

“Really good,” she can’t stop smiling. “The girls and I danced for hours, I’m exhausted.”

“I’m glad, you deserve some fun with all the work you do,” she praises. “Did you need help with the zip again?”

“Oh, yeah,” she walks over to the side of the bed and sits, letting Haley undo the clip and pull the zipper down. “Thank you.”

“You’re welcome,” she pats her shoulder when she’s done. “Have a good sleep, honey. Oh, and your dads gone to Seattle for a case, so I don’t think he’ll be back tonight, can you lock up?”

“I already did,” she admits with a smile, “I saw Morgan run out of Joe’s a while ago, so I figured they had something come up.”

“Did Reid not go?” She looks disappointed for Andy.

She shakes her head, looking as disappointed as possible, “no, I didn’t see him.” It’s not like she hasn’t lied to Haley before, it just felt weird every time she did.

“I’m sure you’ll see him again soon,” Haley gives her a halfhearted smile. “Make sure you have some water and take a Tylenol, you’ll thank me tomorrow.”

She laughs, “thanks, goodnight,” she waves before closing the bedroom door.

Her dads house was big, paid for mostly by the FBI to get him to move back to Virginia to take this job, it was more like a mansion than a house. They had a lot more money now than when she was a kid, it made her excited for her little brother. He’d never have to worry about asking for a new pair of shoes or have to reuse the same backpack 2 years in a row. He wouldn’t be the only kid on the field trip there for free because their dad talked the principal into letting her go… because it really wouldn’t be fair for her to see all the kids go on a 3 day trip without her all because her dad didn’t have an extra $160 that month cause he was freshly out of law school and drowning in debt.

In her room, she slips out of her dress and hangs it back on a hanger, it still smells like Spencer and his apartment, like old books and gain laundry detergent… it was very him and she loved it.

She gets into some fresh pj’s and she takes her laptop out, it takes forever to load the internet, but she eventually gets to her email and she’s able to send one to Spencer.

Andy: Do you ever check your emails?

Dr. Reid: I’m contractually obligated to, yes. How’d you get my email address?

—

His blackberry dings in his pocket just before take-off, he knows he shouldn’t have his phone out, but he reads her messages anyway.

Andy: I logged onto my dads computer and found it. Seeing as I don’t have your phone number, I can’t just go to Quantico every time I want to talk to you.

He smiles, of course, she would break into her dads home office to talk to him.

“Spencer, phone off,” Hotch’s voice rips him out of it.

He hides his phone, “yes sir, sorry.”

“I’ve never seen you answer emails…” Derek catches on. “What is it?”

“Nothing serious, my mom has access to a computer now so I get emails from her sometimes.”

“It’s the middle of the night?”

“It’s only 10 pm in Vegas,” he corrects him.

They drop it, preparing for take-off. He buckles up, sends a simple prayer to whatever's out there and he closes his eyes as the wheels leave the tarmac. He’ll never get used to flying, especially when he knew that a large portion of aviation accidents happened in private planes, like the one they used at work. It scared him more than he’d like to admit.

It feels like forever before the seatbelt sign turns off and he can take his phone out again, just as he’s about to, files are handed out for briefing and starting their profile.

“Reid, you’re up,” Gideon lets him take point.

“His first victim was 26-year-old Melissa Kirsch, stab wounds, strangulation—

“Okay, wait, wait, back up, backup,” Derek stops him before he can dig too far in the file. “He stabbed her, then strangled her to finish her off?”

“Other way around,” Gideon corrects him. “Why do you think he started using the belt with the second murder?”

“Strangulation with your bare hands is not as easy as one would believe. He tried, probably found that it took too long and—

“So he stabbed her instead,” Derek understands now. Cutting Spencer off so he wouldn’t look like the only one in the room who didn’t get it.

“And realized it would be hours cleaning up the blood,” Hotch adds.

“So the next time, our boys got a method, the belt.”

Gideon nods and turns to him, proud, “he’s learning. Perfecting his scenario. Becoming a better killer.”

The words make his spine shiver. Even if they did end up catching this monster, there were still 49 just like him roaming around the united states, just waiting for their next perfect kill.

He used to wonder what would lead a man to pick his perfect target, was it just a perfect opportunity or were they all planned. He’s grown to know the answer was much more fucked up than he hoped. A lot of the time they looked like the subject of their rage, often a mother, ex-partner, their child…

“The two victims don’t look very similar,” Spencer points out. Flipping between the photos. “Do you think they’re more victims of opportunity?”

“Possibly,” Hotch takes a look at the victim's again too. “He went from a brunette to blondes then back to brunette, another blonde and now a red-head.”

“What would possibly convince all those different women into the same man’s car?” Spencer asks.

“They’re high-risk victims, he abducts them in broad daylight without a fight, he conceals them for 3 days and then he dumps them publicly,” Derek recounts, “he has to have a job where they trust him. A cab service maybe?”

“Call Garcia, have her look into it,” Hotch directs him. “Till then, catch up on some rest.”

Spencer takes that as his chance to email Andy back, he turns away from Hotch, he takes his phone back out and types back a quick message.

Dr. Reid: Even if I gave you my number, I can’t text on my phone.

Every few minutes he refreshes his inbox, and the light from his phone illuminates his part of the cabin. No one else is asleep yet, they probably wouldn’t sleep, too busy thinking of possible scenarios for the case, but now they also wondered who he was talking to.

They don’t ask again, but they keep looking at him every time he checks. Even though it was the middle of the night, and Andy had been busy all day and she had a few drinks… she probably went to bed when he didn’t answer her right away.

So he gives in, he slides his phone into his bag and he closes his eyes with a deep sigh, and then a yawn.

—

She’s only been up for a few minutes, but she’s already logged onto her computer to see if he messaged her back. Staring at the screen with only one eye open as she typed her response.

Andy: thats a shame, you should get one of those new blackberry’s then we can BBM

She moves her laptop to the side and throws the covers off, completely forgetting when she actually went to sleep last night, she woke up in the same position she laid down in originally…

By the time she’s done her morning routine in the bathroom and back in her bed, Spencer’s sent her a pretty lengthy reply.

Dr. Reid: everyone’s wondering why I keep checking my email on my work blackberry every 20 minutes. Legally I’m not allowed to use BBM on this one, it’s in my contract. But I can see if I can get a new one when I’m done with this case.

I had to go get Gideon from the college and they’re making him go back into the field today, I’m sure you know what happened… I’m not sure if he’s ready, he’s really on edge today, we have only a few hours left to find this girl, so if I don’t answer you, that’s why.

I’ll email you when I’m on my way back if you’d like? Not sure how much contact is too much contact… so this email is probably already too much, but, it’s nice talking to you.

It makes her smile uncontrollably, it was so incredibly nice to talk with him. Like having a best friend but better.

Andy: you can email me as many times as you want. I genuinely really like talking to you too. I heard the president and the secret service use BBM cause it can’t be hacked, is that true? I feel like that’s a little fact you’d know.

I really enjoyed our time yesterday, if we had more time I would’ve liked to talk a bit more but what happened instead was nice. I’d like to see you again sometime soon, but my exams start this week. I have 2 finals, a paper and 1 more lab to finish. Masters degrees are no joke… I can’t believe you have 3 Ph.D.’s… how did you not die of stress? Is your heart okay?

She hits send before she can go too far and embarrass herself. She really wanted to tell him that he could have hers. But she had to hold back.

This was just a fun thing between two young adults, she wanted to help him experience the wonders of womanhood while also having a few pay-off moments for herself… If no one got murdered last night, she might have had one of them.

But he’s a busy boy. He’s the BAU’s golden child, their new shiny toy, so he couldn’t always reply right away. After about 40 minutes of refreshing and googling him in the meantime, she makes her way down to the kitchen for breakfast.

“Mornin’, hun,” Haley smiles, behind the counter mixing a bowl of ingredients. “I woke up needing waffles, do you want some?”

“Sure,” she takes a seat at the counter. “Do you want me to do it, you shouldn’t be walking around?”

She shrugs, “I don’t think I need to be… I’m not going to go into early labour, and if I did, it’s probably because he’s measuring a lot bigger than he should be. Who knows when I got pregnant, anyway… the last time we tried, Aaron was so horny all the time—”

“Ew,” she doesn’t want to hear more.

“After the night you had, you’re going to say ew?” She teases, giving her a knowing smirk.

“What do you mean?” Andy goes whiter than a sheet of paper, feeling like Spencer caved and the news had already traveled back home.

“You smelled like sex and someones cologne, your lipstick was gone, I didn’t do the little clip up at the back of your dress when I sent you out and yet you came home with it clipped up…” Haley has clearly spent too much time with her dad, now she’s able to profile too.

She stutters, trying to think of something to say, but there’s nothing. She slowly grows more embarrassed, the colour comes back to her cheeks, flushing a deep magenta.

“So, who was he?” Haley gets back to cooking, pouring the batter onto the waffle iron.

“I can’t tell you,” she whispers. “Because I know you tell my dad everything even if I asked you not to, and I really want to keep this to myself for a bit…”

“Is it a girl?” Haley whispers. “Oh, I’m sorry. Aaron told me this might happen, it’s okay, you can come out when you’re ready and I’ll just pretend it’s new information.”

She laughs, a little too hard, “what?”

“Well, with you playing softball and curling… and after Peter, there weren’t any boys around but you were sneaking out, plus Jasmine smiles at you a lot when she’s here…”

“I’ll be honest, I don’t know if I like girls like that yet… but no, it wasn’t a girl I went home with last night.”

It’s a weird sentence to say, she never thought it would be something brought up in her house… it was a common misconception at school, being called Andy and wearing suits more than dresses to interviews and events. She’s been hit on by female agents at the bar, she’s debated it, but when it all came down to it, it was the agent part and not the female part that made her say no.

“Oh,” Haley’s almost disappointed. “Well, I just hope he’s nice to you and that you’re safe.”

“If you told him it was a girl I was seeing, do you think he’d be less insane this time?”

Haley shrugs, a puzzled look on her face, “there’s really no telling… just wait for Jack to be born and then he might not have enough time to stress over your boyfriends.”

“Jack?” She hasn’t heard them use a name for her new brother yet.

She nods, “we’re still debating on if we want just Jack or Jackson, but that will be his name.”

“I love it,” she doesn’t mind either way. Jack sounded like the name of her brother, it fit perfectly. “Speaking of little baby Jack, would you be okay with me making a mural in his room?”

“As long as you run the idea by your father or me first, sure,” she doesn’t mind. “It’s less painting for me to do.”

“Exactly, I want to do the whole room if you’d let me, as a gift from me to you,” she poses. “When I get back from school full time, I wanted to go to IKEA and get some things and see if Jas or even Spencer and Derek could come over and help me put it all together, it would be a group effort to make sure little Jack has the best room and you don’t strain yourself.”

“As long as I can organize the closet.”

“Of course,” Andy laughs. “I wouldn’t ruin your nesting phase for you.”

“You really are the perfect step daughter,” Haley hands her the first plate of home made waffles, as well as a fork, knife and the syrup.

“I’m really excited to be a sister too, genuinely,” she makes sure Haley see’s it in her face. “I’ve wanted this just as long as you have.”

“I’m glad,” she tries not to cry, rubbing her tummy. “I’m really glad he’ll have you.”

—

“Did you get an address on Linder?” Hotch comes barrelling through the office.

“It’s coming through now,” he answers, monotoned, bored, tired. He hates the sound of the fax machine but it was his duty as the youngest on the team. Some might even call him their bitch… a lot of people did actually.

His reason for joining the team was to give Gideon an excuse to come back, to entice him with files and build a trust that made him follow Spencer into the field. He knew he was important and yet no one else really saw it.

Before hotch can walk too far from him, he grabs his attention. “Does senior management want a field assessment of Gideon?” He asks, wondering if he had to write a part of it or not.

Hotch stops, turns around and walks stressfully close to Spencer. In his personal space bubble, he stands tall and looks down at him, “don’t worry about it.”

Something in him makes him want to fight back, “are you nervous about him being in charge?”

“Aren’t you on you’re way back to Slessman’s house to help Morgan?” He shoots back with anger in his tone.

They turn away from each other quickly, but Spencer can’t let it go. He calls to Hotch, feeling like he deserves some semblance of respect with all the work he does on the team. “Do you know why he always introduces me as Doctor Reid?”

The same name Hotch’s daughter called him last night.

Aaron stops dead in his tracks and turns to Spencer, sighing because he knows he’s right. “Because he knows that people see you as a kid and he wants to make sure they respect you.”

He takes a moment to stare into his eyes, asserting his own dominance, agreeing with what he said. He smiles slightly, it’s a silent thank you that Aaron understands.

“What’s the address?”

He glances at the page, reading it in its entirety in a matter of seconds, “I don’t think it matters anymore, he died in a car accident 2 months ago…”

Aaron sighs, “I’ll call Elle, you get to Derek. Double time it.”

“Yes sir,” Spencer nods, he immediately starts packing his bag and heads for the door. There’s a Seattle officer leaving at the same time as him, “excuse me,” he stops them.

“Yeah?” The man turns to him.

“Any chance you can drive me to Slessman’s house?”

He nods, “that’s on my patrol, hop in.”

He’s used to being in cars with strangers now, it’s a big part of the job. He was chauffeured around between crime scenes and police stations, he has seen the same beige bricked walls in almost every state in America and the inside of every cruiser too.

On the ride over, he takes his blackberry back out and he reads the last email from Andy.

“I can’t believe you have 3 Ph.D.’s… how did you not die of stress? Is your heart okay?”

If he was being honest, he’d reply that his heart was defecting… it was in another place while he was in Seattle trying to save a woman he didn’t know.

Dr. Reid: my heart is fine, thank you for the concern. It was a lot of work, but luckily I didn’t have these kinds of distractions back then…

But you asked me a question. Yes, I do believe we’re allowed to speak with other government officials through the blackberry messenger app, but not with civilians. So, if you somehow can get a job with the president this summer, then we can talk.

I also wanted to say I hope I’m not taking away from your study time? If there’s anything I can do to help, let me know, I actually know a fair bit about psychology. I know, that’s a big surprise to you (sarcasm if you can’t read that) but I mean it, I’d drop everything to help you study if you asked.

Andy: correct me if I’m wrong, but don’t you have a woman to save? My homework isn’t that important, focus on her and then me, I’d really like to hear about the case and how you figured it out later, maybe if you gave me your number we could talk on the phone instead…

It doesn’t take much time for her to respond. It’s mere moments before he’s reading her words again.

“Someone special you go there?” The officer asks, referring to his head buried in his phone.

“You can say that,” he blushes. “It’s new, I really like her.”

“I hope it all works out, kid,” he’s nice about it. He has an energy that makes Spencer feel like he can trust him. “Especially in this line of work, you need a nice lady you can go home to and fall back on… someone who doesn’t see you as weak when you’re affected by it, someone who just supports you through it.”

He smiles at the thought, “thanks, I think I found that in her.”

Dr. Reid: we apprehended a suspect, pretty sure he’s working with someone, we just need to find out who. The new girl on our team, Elle, actually caught him, it was really cool.

It’s getting late here, we’re very close to figuring it all out. I’m on my way to help Derek crack the unsubs password to his computer, I think your dad was just tired of seeing me so now I’m being sent here. I’ll try and talk to you more later, hopefully, we get a hotel after the case so I can rest, and maybe call you? I miss your voice.

702-555-0103 (in case you felt the same)

—

She adds his number to her phone as soon as she reads his email.

The smile on her face makes her feel like she’s 13 again and the backstreet boys were releasing a new single… she hasn’t been this giddy over a boy in years and it honestly felt so freeing. Spending time with Spencer was more rewarding than she ever imagined it would be.

She thinks about him all day. Little things in her homework remind her of him and his list of degrees, there’s little facts she’s learning about the human brain that she’d love to pick his about. She see’s his face in her day dreams, the thought of his smile is enough to make her beam with joy.

Even though there’s large gaps between contact and her heart yearns for him, she just can’t wait until they get to talk again.

She goes to bed thinking about future dates with him, the things she’d like to do to him, both clean and dirty, her mind travelled through a million universes where they were happy and together and it worked out for them.

He’s the first thought in her mind when she wakes up the next morning too, way too early, she checks her phone to see it’s 7 am on a Sunday and there’s no reason for her to be up.

But she checks her email anyway.

Dr. Reid: we caught the other unsub just a few hours after you sent that. We have a bunch of work left to do, but we should be flying home soon. I’m in my hotel room now, I get to sleep for 3 hours before the plane home, if you’re awake, give me a call.

He only sent that 24 minutes ago, there was a good chance he was still awake, so she dials his number and hits call.

It rings twice and then he’s there.

“Andy.”

She can hear the smile on his face and her heart stops, he feels just the same way she did… which meant he might want her more than a friend too… more than a best friend even…

Being Spencer Reid’s lover would be really nice.

“Spence,” she uses his nickname too. “How are you?”

“Tired,” he admits. “Exhausted, actually. I haven’t slept since Thursday night.”

“Oh my god, Spence?” She worries for him, sitting straight up in her bed with a hand on her heart. “That’s not healthy at all, you need to get some sleep soon?”

“But I missed you?”

“That’s cute but after prohibiting your brain from sleeping for 36 hours, serious symptoms can arise, it’s not healthy,” the psychology student in her jumped out.

“Talk to me until I fall asleep then?” He whispers. She can hear rustling like he’s shuffled down his bed and adjusted his head on the pillow. “Isn’t it early for you too? Shouldn’t you get more sleep?”

“Okay, mister—

“Doctor,” he corrects her. “You know, I pissed your dad off today, well, yesterday actually, and reminded him I was a doctor…”

“What did you do?” She can’t help but wonder.

“He was treating me like a kid, thinking I didn’t know what was going on with Gideon and Strauss… It annoyed me so I snapped back and asked him why Gideon always introduces me as Doctor Reid.”

“And why does he?” Andy ponders.

“Because people see me as a kid and I deserve respect,” he states it very clearly, he’s stern and affirming, it’s worthy of respect.

“You’re hot when you stand up for yourself,” she praises him.

“Don’t turn me on, I need to sleep, remember?”

It makes her laugh, “I know, I know… it’s too bad we can’t have a sleepover.”

“I know,” he agrees, ��you’re very cuddly and soft. And you smell good.”

“So do you,” she can’t stop smiling. Flirting with him like this, miles and miles away from one another, but still affecting the other's heart like they were beating side by side.

He hums, “you’re right…”

“About?”

“36 hours…” he yawns, “‘m sleepy.”

She sighs, relaxing into her bed with her phone pressed to her ear, “go to sleep, Spence, I’ll talk to you when you wake up.”

“Okay, angel,” he whispers, and then he’s out.

His breathing changes, it almost sounds like he’s snoring, but she can’t bring herself to hang up. She just listens, stuck in the moment… he really called her angel, as if being with him wasn’t heaven enough.

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