#a majority of the reason why i've been off of tumblr right now because almost all my focus is on this right now
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moonsoupstar-ao3 · 6 months ago
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Demons in aoex: a common misconception
Hi guys! Here I'm again talking :)
I posted this last night, but Tumblr decided to be an ass, almost gave me a heart attack (the post wasn't showing anywhere, not even in my own blog), and not show this in the tags, so here we go again.
Warning for some minor and major spoilers from the manga, read at your own risk!
Most spoilers are for Asylums' arc, and the lastest arc in the manga. So, if you haven't read them, maybe don't read the examples I've used after Mephisto! I didn't explicitly said too much, but I spoke about some major events a few times.
So, demons in aoex are a big part of the story (no shit!), but there's also a HUGE narrative that has been given to us, the audience, and the characters in the manga from the very beginning.
Demons are evil (or, to a certain degree, "neutral).
And
Demons are demons.
Sorry for how redundant that sounded, please let me explain.
Demons in aoex has been presented to us as "biblical/mythological demons" (depending on where the inspiration for them came from), mostly for the top demons and so one. But, in the very story, we have been repeatedly told that this is not true.
One of the mayor arguments of this is in the fight against that spore castle demon (sorry, I don't remember the name right now) from season 2. Both, in the manga and the anime, the fire demon (again, I'm sorry, I suck at names and I just want to get this done) that helps Rin burn the spores told him that he (or it was a she?) had been given tons of names an titles during his existence, from angel to guardian to demon, it was always just a label given by humans to defined him.
So, if demons are not necessarily demons, what are they? They are "spirits", plain and simple. Beings with powers from the mirror dimension (Gehenna).
Why are they evil then? Most are not! They're just mischievous or curious, especially the ones that don't tend to interact with humans. They're driven by impulsivity, naivety, ignorance, desires, curiosity, jealousy, resentment (does this remind you of any example? I'm sure it does), but not raw evilness MOST of the time.
Of course, there are evil ones, I won't be the one to deny it.
But, as I said, they're driven by emotions. The thing with demons is that they're not emotionally mature, nor do they completely understand human cultures and human's needs. On top of that, demons has been even worshiped all over the world during every step of civilization, so try to teach them to treat humans, well... humanly?
One of the biggest humanity supporters (not humans supporter, humanity as a concept/single thing and its creations), Mephisto, despite all his efforts for protect and help humans, doesn't see most of them as "equals". He does care, except that he just truly cares for the ones closest to him, everyone else are more like "ants" in his eyes. He's driven by desires when it comes to protect humans, the desire too see what things they would invent in the future.
(I have like, a LOT to say about my jester man (actually about almost all the main characters), so here's a limited extract of that).
And, then, there's the other side of the coin, Lucifer. I do believe that he, in his own twisted vision, do what he does because he thinks it will be good for everyone, but we cannot deny that he's following his plan for his own selfish reasons. He doesn't care about humans, or demons, or anyone but himself, not in a deeply way at least. He won't sacrifice himself for anyone, geez, he won't mind putting them at risk if his emotions get off control (that damn million yards stare when Yukio betrayed and challenged him 👀👀👀), but will stop if he's, well, stopped first.
Someone may think, "what about Satan? Wasn't he doing all that shit to get him a body?" And, let me tell you, he doesn't care about him either. He literally destroyed his body to catalyzed the Blue Night (though I must say I don't think he saw that coming, he just did it because he was furious and, partially, jealous that his father not only got a body (the thing he has yearned since forever and is obsessed about getting) before him, but also decided to threw it away as well as the elixirs research because he found "something better" ← quotation marks, 'cus I also think he thought Satan was being delusional), and took advantaged of the fact that Satan thought it was Yuri who betrayed him to convied him into (potentially) allying with him.
And speaking of, what about Satan? The "big baddie", dear, all I have to say is that I have a whole entire post in my draft dedicated to him. So, to summarize it, Satan is the equivalent of a child king throwing tantrums, who is trapped in the middle of political and royal plots to control everything through him, and has barely or no one who really cares about him at this point. (← I also has a LOT, LOT to say about my last statement, and it needs at least three entire paragraphs to fully bring the meaning behind it, so please take this bit with a grain of salt).
With all that being said, I don't know how to close this post :D! Jokes aside, I really don't JABDNDJDBDK
Sorry for any grammatical mistake or weird wording, English isn't my first language. I also would love to know your point of view! Or, overall, discuss my post! I love talking about aoex, so feel free to speak to me, even if you disagree with literally everything I said! /Seriously.
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moriarty1234 · 10 months ago
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T*LC Refutation (but decidedly NOT johnlock refutation)
[Note: I love and ship johnlock because I saw it for myself in the show when I watched it and was part of the general audience in the past. I even want it to become canon in some Holmes adaption in the future. But T*lc needs to get sucked into obscurity and forgotten. Other fandoms like Good Omens, etc., are following the same rhetoric in their "meta" posts, and that needs to go. This is crucial for our basic critical thinking skills and objectivity.]
Read Part - 3 : Everything wrong with "subtexts" and "symbolisms" here.
Part-4: The Harmful Aspect of T*LC:
Let's move on to some more serious issues, or why we (Kim and I) don't believe for even a second that hardcore t*lcers (the ones who're rabid about this theory) ever cared for any type of representation, or even johnlock in itself for that matter.
I say hardcore t*lcers because the normal ones simply believe in t*lc and keep that shit to themselves. I'm even mutuals with them on Tumblr (although I know that when the show was on air, hardcore, insufferable, and deeply problematic t*lcers were in the majority).
1.) The very definition of t*lc : The general idea of t*lc is that johnlock has been planned since 2010 (right from the first episode of S1), this whole show is essentially a love story between Sherlock and John, the cases are not so important, and that johnlock is going to be the endgame canon ship. When the writers deny anything related to johnlock in their own show, they're lying to keep their elaborate plan under the wraps. When Sherlock and John kiss on screen, it'll be a rug pull moment for all the non-believers, their love story will be groundbreaking queer representation in mainstream media, and BBC Sherlock will become a culturally iconic Holmes adaptation. Because sometimes, the queer characters can be the heroes of the story.
All this sounded so nice and fancy to me when I was new to shipping johnlock. Because BBC Sherlock was my first fandom that I ever participated in. Johnlock was (and is) my first ship. I used to be a non-shipper before this, because I'm not exactly a Romance-genre fan in published fiction.
Now I don't like the general idea of this at all. Not because I don't want johnlock to become canon in some version (I really do), but there are so many flaws in the very idea of t*lc.
a.) They didn't even plan what they were going to do with Rosie Watson in S4. They just introduced the pregnancy subplot to raise the stakes in HLV. Only for shock value purposes. This was Mark Gatiss' statement (now I can't find the link but I've seen an article about this before). To think they'd planned an entire romance storyline, but it was just under the wraps the whole time, is unrealistic.
b.) While it's true that showrunners or directors do lie to their fans before a work is published to maintain an element of surprise, Moffat and Gatiss had denied anything related to johnlock too many times, and almost vehemently for most viewers to believe that they're just lying. One can only lie too many times, after all. And something needs to be there in the actual show for (maximum) fans to catch on that they're indeed just lying. There wasn't enough evidence for that. Too many of those scenes just came off as gay jokes instead of anything of real substance. That wasn't a good look.
c.) The third part is really what gets me the most here, and one of the main reasons why Kim and I began to actively despise t*lc, even though we're both still pro-johnlock. These people really thought the ultimate rug pull moment for the entire audience should be... that John and Sherlock are in love? Really? That's it? That's highest standard you have for supposedly groundbreaking queer representation? That doesn't sound right. Queer representation really shouldn't be used for shock value. As if we're not marginalised and isolated from most people already. Especially in my country. That just sounds as though you want to place these two characters in a museum as though they're some exotic beings or something. That's the opposite of a healthy queer rep.
d.) Even if johnlock were canon, it would've hardly been groundbreaking for the purposes of queer representation. Even in the 2010s. Because shows like Breaking Bad (a show from 2008, i.e., before BBC Sherlock, in which a very significant character is canonically gay and black), Elementary (where Mrs Hudson is canonically trans, Joan Watson is a well written character even as a poc female lead, Jamie Moriarty is also properly characterised when mainstream media doesn't have a lot of well-written female villains to begin with), London Spy (which is also a BBC show from 2015), Money Heist (which also features a significant canonically gay character), etc., still existed. I'll even list The Irregulars as an example, even though the first season of that show was aired in 2021, because that was still before the Sherlock Holmes franchise entered the public domain. Watson is canonically gay and black in that one.
e.) This is a detective show you're talking about. Cases aren't important? You kidding me?
2.) Rabid t*lcers were hypocritical as hell. They used to demand canon johnlock for "representation", but they were all sorts of bigoted people themselves.
a.) They made racist comments about Lucy Liu.
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(From Sarah Z's video) :
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They've called slurs to fans of colour in the fandom (I can think of one fan specifically right now) for not shipping johnlock.
b.) Characterising Sherlock as a twink, gay baby, or "smol" is fetishistic. It's just homophobia indirectly.
c.) They went rabid about the bisexual Sherlock headcanon, Instead of simply disagreeing with it for whatever reason. You're not doing the queer community any favours by h/cing John as bisexual just for your johnlock shipping, only because he has canonically shown attraction to women.
See this:
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Stop playing the victim card right after perpetuating biphobia lol. You need to rewatch the show if you think mere fascination was all he felt for Irene. Also, even if he genuinely didn't show any attraction to any woman in canon, fanon can still be its own thing. Not everything has to be strictly canon compliant.
One more:
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Stop straw manning and assuming real people's sexuality. Stop ship bashing. Enough with the biphobia.
This person is a johnlocker and "The One" obviously means johnlock here. No, not everyone is uncomfortable because of johnlock for bigoted reasons. People are allowed to have preferences.
Another one (probably my favourite) :
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Talk about hypocrisy. The title of this post sounds so positive to bisexuality, but then OP goes right ahead to frantically claim Sherlock is 100% gay and not anything else!!! 1!!
Sherlock is heavily queercoded in the show, I agree. I don't even care whether that was the authorial intent or not at this point. That's what a non-insignificant amount of people took away from this show.
But his canon sexuality was never specified. People are allowed to interpret his sexuality however they want. You are nobody to state your own headcanons as facts.
More hypocrisy.
d.) The acephobia was rampant in this fandom mostly because of these people. It's a well-documented fact.
e.) The misogyny in this fandom was ugly. The kind of outlandish metas they write trying to disprove adl*ck from the show... jeez. If adl*ck definitely doesn't exist in this show, why would you need to disprove it so many times through your meta posts?
Can't erase something that really isn't there, just saying.
"Irene is just a personification of Sherlock's libido for John." Seriously? Do you even listen to yourself?
Don't get me wrong. I blame Mofftiss equally as much for not writing women properly in general, Irene Adler in particular. They butchered canon Irene Adler (a queen) way too much in their show. But the fans' response to her was almost worst.
It's understandable if the show's version of Mary doesn't sit right with you for whatever reason. People are allowed to have preferences. Personally, I'm quite neutral about Mary Morstan in this show.
But these people used to take their hate for her too far. These people have never been as mad at Moriarty, or even at Culverton Smith, as they all were at Mary for shooting Sherlock. Again, this is a crime drama show. Not all characters are going to be sunshine and roses.
3.) Rabid t*lcers hardly ever tried to explore johnlock in other versions. If you're a fan of Sherlock Holmes, you'll be at least curious about different adaptations that exist out there. Why did they hardly ever posted about The Irregulars when it was aired? An adaptation in which Watson is canonically in love with Holmes? I've been around in the johnlock fandom enough to know that the rabid t*lcers (NOT ALL T*LCers) never really cared about the possibility of johnlock in some other version after it ultimately didn't become canon in BBC Sherlock. They only care for johnlock as long as Benedict Cumberbatch and Martin Freeman are associated with it.
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... Yup.
(ACD canon Watson was in his early thirties in the first novel. That's not middle aged. Joanlock didn't even become canon - something that was specified since Day 1 - in Elementary lmfao. Also, Lucy Liu was in her forties when Elementary aired. Get your facts straight.)
All these three points are enough to conclude that what t*lcers usually posted about was obviously not "demand for representation", but rather a demand for some extremely specific fantasies acted out on screen with an even more specific choice of actors.
I even joked to Kim about this: The stuff they demand for is so extremely specific that it sounds like a Starbucks order lol.
Part: 5 - Conclusion:
I want johnlock to become canon in some version of Sherlock Holmes adaptation. But I want t*lc as a theory to be completely forgotten and obscured. T*lc is definitely not the way to go about it. Other fandoms (namely Good Omens) have started to write "metas" with the exact same rhetoric in them, and now it's completely unacceptable. It's 2024 now. Let it go.
Some interesting links Kim and I found that are very insightful and relevant to this post:
About cults and the followers
Cult psychology
Conspiracy theory psychology
Science vs pseudo-science
Science vs psudo-science - 2
Conspiracy theory psychology - 2
Signs someone is a pseudo-intellectual
One explanation why even otherwise sensible people seem to believe in t*lc
PS: Not every dark haired character/ blond character is a Sherlock/John mirror respectively. That's not how character-mirroring works. Experts would know this.
T*LC refutation (but NOT johnlock) refutation master post.
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cyle · 1 year ago
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Speaking of toggles, are you planning to undo existing toggles such as the ability to turn off best stuff first, snooze tumblr live, don't allow tumblr to put posts you liked on others' dashes?
i get why toggles aren't sustainable for major, site-wide UI changes, but undoing these specific toggles would make the site just like any other social media platform (all of which are better funded and better run btw) removing any incentive i have to stay here, even though it has been my online home for so long and i'd so prefer it to stay that way.
i just hope you don't destroy the site completely while trying to make it profitable and let at least some toggles stay.
funny enough, i was talking about this already a bit today, and i've written a couple of proposals about it. basically: none of the dashboard preference toggles' functionality and effects would go away, we'd just consolidate them into fewer, more clear options.
for example, instead of having three separate toggles for different dashboard recommendation injections, we'd have just one. and it'd be named better. similarly, i'd want to rename "Best stuff first" to something clearer, because i don't think it's adequately communicating what it does. there's a lot of work we can do to just make the confusing mass of settings easier to navigate and understand, and move them to places closer to what they control. we have a dashboard tab configuration experiment going on right now that moves that stuff to the actual dashboard tab bar, instead of being buried somewhere else.
an important distinction, when thinking about this stuff, is separating "toggles and settings" from "configuration and affordance" in an interface. a core part of tumblr is being able to customize and curate your experience, and that's not going to change as long as i can help keep us staying true to that guiding principle. nobody at tumblr wants to change that. however, the actual functionality of how that manifests can come in many forms.
for example, we're working on ways to build communities and custom feeds on tumblr, and the very simple straightforward way to do that is to make a big form that you can fill out. but that's intimidating, almost nobody wants to put forth that much effort anymore, for good reason. instead, we could make the initial creation process one-step and simple, and move the configuration and customization later as an evolving flow, making it feel more like a game or a sorting/organizing exercise, which is something people on tumblr love.
but a lot of these kinds of changes are radical for those of us who've been on tumblr for years, and have learned how to do things "the hard way" (as i call it). that's the difficult thing to overcome: how to make this stuff easier and more friendly for more people, without breaking too much of the work that people have already put into the platform.
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handboost-blog · 7 years ago
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I hate that I can’t legally get my name changed because I have no support money wise from other people, lack the money myself, and don’t have a checking account or a credit card that I can make a paypal or anything like that...
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ladyluscinia · 3 years ago
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speaking as someone who reads a lot of ed/stede fic i think you're exactly right re: woobification of ed. if the fic in question touches on e10 his actions are usually given far less weight than stede's, and imo i think it's because a lot of fans don't know how to deal with the gravity of what he did. something i've seen often is that ed will get some grief from the crew and they may be somewhat cautious around him, but mostly it's stede who has to work to win back ed's trust and affection. which, yes, obviously he should have to do that, he fucked up, but ed not having to do the same with the crew & izzy if the author even bothers to write him in has always seemed idk unfair to me? obviously, people can write what they want, but i do feel like this attitude is prevalent in fandom meta as well. it goes on a wavelength of something like: all of ed's actions towards izzy, the crew, and stede are largely excused, stede's behavior towards izzy receives the same treatment, and izzy is simply not around for any variety of reasons and no one cares that he got his toe cut off. the reason i have accidentally read so much fic like this is because every time i open something that piques my interest thinking maybe it will be different and almost always it is not. i wouldn't be so bothered by this if it didn't contribute to the pipeline of me seeing with my own eyes posts made by people on this very website attempting to justify bodily mutilation as some fucked up form of punitive justice.
Hi, yes, all of this.
Like, I will confess that I'm already very lukewarm on BlackBonnet as a ship (just not my preferred dynamic), but I have been avoiding the tag on tumblr and AO3 like it's radioactive because I know I will risk losing all positive feelings for it in a matter of hours (which... probably not a great idea seeing as it's endgame 🤣). I'm sticking to SteddyHands where nitpicks about characterization are easier to spot in advance and often actual nitpicks, not slam the back button levels of drastic.
Anyway, the part of this ask that really grabbed my attention was...
...it's because a lot of fans don't know how to deal with the gravity of what he did.
...because that is a major part of the problem and also kinda interesting to talk about. And I have thoughts on it, both on how the show is potentially equipped to handle it and why so many fans struggle.
So preface: here's a link to my followup woobification thoughts post, which links the original woobification thoughts response right at the top.
Now... Why is reckoning with and forgiving Edward's actions (that are obviously going to be forgiven) proving so difficult that it makes sidestepping the problem entirely such a common fandom response instead?
---
There's two main factors that I think are the most important at the moment. (Well, three, but the third is anti culture declaring that faves must not be "problematic" or "bad people" or you aren't allowed to like them, and that's way bigger than this specific OFMD problem. Those antis just need to be ignored. So two actually interesting to discuss main factors.)
The genre of the show is hitting a very nice spot in handwaviness around violence that is crucial to getting past this in canon.
Edward's character arc spent pretty much all of S1 in the setup phase, while Stede actually progressed through his.
Genre, I'm almost positive, is going to be the show's saving grace in this matter, because they have played some really clever games with it. I talked a lot in this post about how handwaving narrative consequences at a certain point can be a really good thing, but it's also deceptively hard to set up because if you fail to be consistent then it only highlights your issues.
Edward's actions in a more serious show would be pretty hard to come back from, and even in this show, they aren't currently being treated as funny or no big deal. That's why just handwaving them from here doesn't work. Stede fixing the Kraken with a swashbuckler entrance and a kiss is a funny joke and a great fanart, but not a satisfying story for Edward. At the same time, OFMD's humor is actually really dark for a show that is best described as a romcom. Meaning even as Edward does awful things you can keep a running thread of humor to kind of lighten the gravity - like Jim's "What did you do to your face?" comment.
I still maintain that the big three four events of the Kraken turn - Izzy lashing out at Edward, Edward "killing" Lucius, Edward maiming Izzy, and Stede's abandonment overshadowing it all - have to be dealt with roughly equivalently and at the same time. Leave a hurt out (like Izzy's toe) and you mess up the whole balance, so there's one problem for people who don't like Izzy very much. But so long as all the characters get to acknowledge how they fucked up and how they won't do it again (requiring some character growth and communication from them all), then the genre tone will let them collectively move on without unpleasant hurdles (like Lucius feeling unsafe on a ship with Edward for the rest of his life).
This helps the show, but it doesn't necessarily help fans and fanfic, because a lot of fanfic writers are not working in this genre.
Angst people are writing angst, fluff writers are in slice of life romance, plot heavy fics might be adventures... all very fun, but possibly lacking the required tools to satisfactorily resolve these problems the way the show is likely going to. They have to adapt it or discard the need for a solution entirely, and adapting it might be trickier both because it's more work and there's a lot more open questions around Edward than around Stede.
We're back to character arcs.
It's so easy for fans to focus on how Stede needs to fix what he's done because, yeah, it wasn't that terrible in comparison, but also the show has already built and explored the whole framework for him to do so. We know exactly what was going through his head, we know what he wants now, we know the direction his character is going in... He's most of the way there already. For Izzy enjoyers, too, a lot of his character arc was covered this season. We have lots of evidence for his motivations and wants and plausible ways he could grow as a character, even if it's a bit more open to interpretation than Stede.
Edward, meanwhile, has just started. We can try and interpret his behavior this season for hints as to what's driving him, but there have been no recent backstory flashbacks or goals he was openly chasing beyond the general idea of Stede, and clearly the Kraken is not about getting Stede back. His flaws haven't been starkly established, much less the intended solutions. Like, I think that greed for both lives he's been sampling is a major part of it, and the resolution will involve compromising to a life he's satisfied with, but that's just informed speculation at this point.
Edward is so hard to figure out in a fic because first you have to decide what you think the problem and solution is, and then how to adapt it to whatever genre you are working in so that it actually fixes the whole attempted murder of 7 people + maiming and abduction. Not very easy if said genre is, say, the ever popular fluffy romance. Good fucking luck conveying even the idea of a whole arc in a oneshot. It can be done, but not easily. Meta, too, can have a sort of "genre" that causes a similar struggle. I feel like my meta probably isn't overly concerned with how characters are mentally affected by violence committed against them, for example, simply because it rarely interests me long term and I watch so many shows where violence is omnipresent, which probably helps me here.
Anyway, for a lot of fans it's much easier to just focus on what has been clearly established - that Edward has childhood trauma and was hurting - and a solution that conveniently can play out in almost every genre - make Edward feel better. Even if, as I will continue to complain, that's not really an arc and therefore boring. Also pretty woobifying to suggest a guy who committed 7 attempted murders had no underlying issues that are on him to address. Just really hurt feelings and the need to believe in love again.
So yeah. Interesting factors. I think considering both makes impressive strides to explain where the problem is coming from, even if it doesn't really prevent it. Just back to waiting for season 2, I guess.
...also I just realized that this is finally my version of the "only BlackHands shippers get Edward as a character" post 🤣🤣🤣 Because they are actually pretty good at navigating the Edward/Izzy part of this. Sometimes. I have way more faith in them out of the gate, at least.
(EDIT: Follow up response where I make a Helen of Troy joke)
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randomshyperson · 3 years ago
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The Scarlet Witch Prophecy - Chapter 13 - The Sixth Year (Part Three)
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My dear friend @abimess, I keep stealing your gifs and making updates without telling you. I hope you never get tired of it.
Summary: As the youngest daughter of Howard Stark, you have ordinary expectations for your years at Hogwarts. Little do you know what adventures await you when your destiny is intertwined with the legendary Scarlet Witch.
Warnings: +16. Adaptation of the Harry Potter Saga, Magical Thematic, Prophecies, Mentions of Violence, Torture and dark magic, Language (swearing and minor/major offenses), manipulation of will, Underage kissing, insinuation of smut with minors, Smut (overage), descriptions of death, aggression, obscurity, angst, fluffy, soulmates analogies. || Chapter Warnings: Magical torture with minors, cursing, angst, ptsd, derogatory thoughts and behavior, dark magic.
Chapter Words: 8.486 K
A/N> Yes, I've gone for a month without warning anyone, and yes that might go on, but at least i'm near ending this (I'm already writing chapter 21). Once I'm finished, I'll just programe tumblr to upload them all for me because i'm lazy. I hope anyone like this yet, i don't even know what i'm doing anymore. Good reading!
Series Masterlist ||  Read on AO3 || All Works Masterlist
Chapter 13 - Part XIII - The Sixth Year (Part Three)
Gossip really starts to irritate you when you go to lunch after potions.
"You want to say something to me, girl?" You charge impatiently when you hear the giggles behind you again, coming from a group of students sitting at Ravenclaw's table.
The group turns around with wry smiles on their faces, and you notice the editions of the Daily Prophet in the hand of one of the boys. It is Hope Summers, your classmate, who speaks first:
"We're just sharing some theories, Stark." She says in a provocative tone. "Some of us find it an interesting coincidence that just now that Mephisto is back, you and Maximoff are losing control of magic."
You frown.
"What are you talking about?" you ask in surprise, referring to Wanda, but Hope thinks you want her to keep mocking you.
"It's just suspicious that no one knows what happened to you in that dungeon, or at the ministry of magic." Hope counters. "And now you two are blowing things up, and we have a dark wizard on the loose."
"Fuck you, Summmers." You curse as you stand up, leaving the girl in shock at your aggressiveness.
The same auror from the first day stands in front of you as you try to approach Slytherin's table.
"Students must respect..."
But you interrupted his speech with a loud shove that sent him staggering backwards, and drew the immediate attention of several people.
You were seeing red by now, the man's wry smile only making you more irritated.
He drew his wand, but so did you. And the room held its breath.
"Put your wand away, Miss Stark." Warned the auror angrily, but you didn't.
Wanda stood up as she noticed the confusion, rushing to reach you, but the auror put his arm in her way.
"Now, miss." He warned again, and you grunted in irritation.
"Get your hands off her." You retorted, feeling your body fever with hatred.
"Stark." The man said, his arm reaching down to push Wanda back, and you exploded.
You didn't even finish thinking about the spell, the magic exploding out of your wand.
The auror masterfully blocked it, and you dropped your wand to jump on top of him.
It was a confusion of shoving, other bigger students pulling you away from the man and he away from you.
" Never fucking touch her again!" You warned snorting in anger, Thor Odinson stopping you from jumping on the man's neck.
"I just pushed her away from the line of fire, you crazy bitch!" The auror retorted indignantly and angrily. "Go to the headmaster's office now!"
"Fuck you!"
Thor pulled you out of the hall as the crowd of students whistled in celebration, excited about the whole fight. The auror was too busy dissipating everyone to follow you.
"Hey, hothead, calm down." The blonde warned as he released the grip of you by the courtyard. You grunted angrily, wishing you could break something.
"Fuck this school, fuck that asshole." You complained aloud, as Thor looked at you curiously.
"You have quite a rage, Stark." He comments, and you grumble in irritation.
But Wanda catches up with you the next moment, and she looks even angrier than you.
"What the hell was that?" she asks and you roll your eyes, running your hands through your hair.
"I think you are going to be fine for now on." Thor comments, smiling at the thank you Wanda says to him before leaving you two alone.
"So?" Wanda insists, arms crossed. You bite the inside of your cheek as you look at her.
"What do you want me to say?" You retort angrily.
"You just started a fight for no reason! Again!" She accuses. "Only this time it was with a wizard who could kill you. I want to know what's going on!"
"I don't know, Wanda!" You exclaim angrily. "Why does everyone expect me to have answers? I don't know! Do you understand that? It feels like I'm going to explode in frustration any second, neither you or Gamora seem to get it. I don't understand what's happening to me!"
"Because you won't talk to us!" She shouts back, just as annoyed as you are. "You're pushing everyone away! Even me! We can't help you if you don't talk to us!"
You grunt impatiently, turning around. There was a strange throbbing in the back of your head, a strange whisper. Like a voice telling you that no one was telling you the truth, that your friends expected too much of you, that Wanda didn't care...
This last thought made you sob. Wanda softened her expression immediately, taking a step toward you and touching your shoulder, but you pulled away from her touch as if burned, wiping your tears away quickly.
"Leave me alone, Wanda." You mutter between teeth. She hesitates, raising her hand toward you again.
"Please."
"I need some time from you." You insist, pushing her hand away, and walking away.
A part of your brain is begging you to go back and make things right, but there is a cloud of anger and irritation that keeps you walking.
//-//-//-//-//
You roll over in bed in discomfort.
Nightmares. Again.
It has only been five days since you had your fight with Wanda, and you are getting worse every day.
With Summers' teasing, you end up noticing other things too.
How the school really found the theory that you and Wanda were somehow related to Mephisto, because the minister had covered up what happened in the dungeons and in the ministry, and everybody thought it was strange that two students were showing an increase in magical potential with the return of a dark wizard.
Unlike you, who were failing considerably in any simple execution of spells, Wanda was demonstrating exceptional abilities. Kaecilius was more than willing to make her the face of progress at Hogwarts, you heard the gossip about bringing in reporters to share the news of the new direction.
You know that the only reason Wanda hasn't come after you yet was because you're running away from her like the plague.
And you couldn't even explain why.
You were also blocking out your real health condition from her. Just like you two practiced during the summer.
Besides hiding this from Wanda, you have kept your friends away too, isolating yourself from everyone else in search of a little rest, only succeeding in taking a nap when you are running away between classes.
And the detentions with Kaecilius keep increasing as you skip classes.
You begin to consider learning to write with a different hand, just so the bruise has time to heal, but at this point you don't even care about the scar anymore.
"You really must like pain." Loki teases wryly as you sit in an empty room, waiting for the aurors' shift change again after your detention.
You don't ask him what he's doing on that floor again, and he doesn't ask why you haven't spoken to your friends in two weeks.
"Sure, that must be it." You joke back, massaging your injured hand.
He assumes a pensive expression for a second.
"Are you sure you haven't been cursed by someone?" He asks, causing you to frown in shock and confusion.
"Excuse me?"
He gives a little chuckle, settling himself better against the wall.
"Everyone's been talking about you being sick." He says. "I heard some of the Ravenclaw people theorize that you became a werewolf over the summer."
You laugh helplessly, massaging your temples lightly.
"I guarantee that's not it." You say making Loki smile.
"If you are sick for no reason, it could be a curse." He says. "I wouldn't be surprised, the way things are."
"But how do I find out if I've been cursed?"
Loki takes a thoughtful stance.
"I don't know." He says. "But I'm sure you can learn that in the no longer reserved session of the library."
You laugh at the joke, but soon you both return to silence. When that hallway's shift ends, Loki sighs, getting up and helping you to stand.
"Still can't perform spells?" He asks, already drawing his wand.
"Only if I want to blow things up." You scoff making him laugh.
"Fine, I'll enchant you." He says. When you are transparent, he looks at you with an amused expression. "See you next Saturday, troublemaker?
"Don't worry, I plan on skipping DADA, maybe I'll be here tomorrow." You retort in the same tone before turning to leave.
//-////-//-//-//-//
It takes three more days for Wanda to finally corner you.
You are skipping class in an empty room on the seventh floor, trying to doze off, and almost fall out of your chair with fright when the door opens and Wanda comes in, looking annoyed.
You grunt impatiently, without lifting your face from the desk.
"I told you I needed time." You complain, but tense up when you notice the tears in her eyes as she moves closer to sit at the table next to yours.
" You want to break up with me?" She asks in a whisper and you raise your head immediately, feeling your chest tighten.
"What? What are you talking about?"
Wanda gives a humorless laugh at your expression. "Why are you acting like this is an absurd idea? You've disappeared. You've been avoiding me, not even talking to me anymore."
You shake your head quickly, feeling the urge to cry.
"I don't want to break up with you." You say. "I..I would never want to be away from you."
"You just said you need time away from me." Wanda retorts with annoyance, and you feel your stomach clench as she sighs. "I don't know what's going on with us. And I miss you, but you won't let me near you."
You are exhausted. So you cry.
You rest your head on your arms, and let your sobs fill the silence, hoping that the tears will take this bad feeling away.
It's Wanda's gentle touch on your back that helps.
"Babe, tell me what's wrong." She whispers to you, her tone concerned.
It takes many minutes for you to calm down. But when you do, Wanda holds your hand, kneeling on the floor beside the chair you are in.
"I can't do magic." You breathlessly tell her from crying, "And I can't sleep. I've been sick for weeks, and I'm angry all the time. Healer Cho doesn't know what's wrong with me, but everyone at school seems to have a theory about it. I think I'm going to suffocate, Wanda. I'm messing everything up. Between us, between my family, and at school." You sob as you finish and Wanda shakes her head, her hand coming up to your cheek.
"Don't say that." She urges. "You didn't ruin anything. Hey, look at me. I love you. Your sisters love you, your friends love you. We'll figure out what's going on."
Wanda hugs you tight, and you sob, shaking.
You want to believe her words, so you push the intrusive thoughts away, and believe it.
//-//-//-//
Wanda takes you to a door in that same floor you two were before, but you have never seen that door until that moment.
And you are very surprised to realize that it is a bedroom.
"How...?" You ask confused as she closes the it.
"Welcome to the Room of Requirement." She says with a smile, pulling you by the hand around. "We hold our Avengers meetings here." She counters and you frown.
"In a bedroom? Interesting choice." You comment and she giggles.
"No, my love." She says. "That's how this room works. It is charmed to meet your needs. That's why I asked you to come in first."
"Oh, that's pretty cool." You say looking around. Wanda smiles at you, and then you both reach the bed. "The room thinks I have to sleep?"
"I do too." Wanda retorts, pushing your shoulders gently for you to sit on the bed. "Go on, nice dreams."
You hesitate. "You gonna leave me here alone?"
Wanda denies with her head, pointing to the chair that probably just magically appeared next to the bed. You frown.
"Can't you sleep in the bed with me?"
She giggles. "We don't have much time for you to sleep. If I lie down, you'll want to kiss me. So I'll be sitting in that armchair, studying as I should." She explains seriously, and you pout.
"Stupid rules." You grumble moving your hands up to her waist. "Lie down with me."
"Babe..."
"Please."
Wanda sighs, then nods. You smile, quickly removing your shoes as she does the same. You quickly adjust yourself on the bed, opening your arms for her to lie on top of you, and she gives a little giggle before doing so.
"Are you cozy, sweetheart?" You murmur against her hair, and Wanda squeezes her arms around you.
"Yeah, your boobs are good pillows." She teases, making you laugh with reddened cheeks.
Your eyes begin to heavy quickly, fatigue catching up with your body relaxed by the comfort of the moment.
"Go to sleep, babe." Wanda whispers. "I'll be here when you wake up."
You smile with your eyes closed, surrendering.
It's the best sleep you've had in weeks.
The problem is that as soon as you start to wake up again, you are feeling sick.
You touch the emptiness in the bed, mumbling softly. When you open your eyes you find Wanda sitting in the armchair, the darkhold in her lap.
"Damn it, Wanda, this book again." You complain in a hoarse voice, but she just sighs.
"Why the attitude?"
"I hate that book." You grumble sitting up in bed, massaging your face lightly. "Why do you keep reading it anyway?"
"It's interesting." She says, closing the item to look at you. "Agatha really told me a lot, but there are also things I didn't know."
"For example?"
Wanda bites her lips, appraising you.
"Scarlet witches are forged, for instance." She says and you frown in confusion. Wanda sighs. "Many powerful witches, born scarlet witches, never got to fulfill their destiny because the forging didn't happen."
You straighten your clothes uncomfortably, pensively.
"What exactly does that mean?"
"What the headmistress did last year was my forging." She clarifies and you swallow dryly, feeling your stomach turn. "I'm sorry."
"For what?" you ask confused.
"Everything." She says upset. "I know we've talked about this, but it seems like all I do is cause you problems. With the bond, and with the forge. If Agatha didn't want my powers, she wouldn't have taken you to the dungeon and you wouldn't have suffered."
You poke at the knot of your tie, feeling yourself suffocate slightly. Wanda is speaking, you blink to focus on her words.
"I'm sorry, could you say that again?" You ask out of breath, sweating. You blink to find Wanda's concerned gaze on you.
"Babe, what's wrong?" She asks worriedly, her hands around your face.
You feel your head spin, and everything goes dark before you can answer.
//-//-//-//
You smell the scent of grass when you wake up.
Then you blink in confusion, getting used to your surroundings to realize that you are in what looks like a ward bed.
"Hey, all right, take it easy getting up, Miss Stark." Asked Professor Strange with one hand on her shoulder. In the other he held a potion that you imagined he had given you.
"W-what happened?" you mumbled confusedly, sitting up in bed. Only now did you notice Professor Munroe and Wanda standing in front of the bed, both with worried expressions.
"You passed out, but you're better now I imagine." Stephen explained gently, but you were still feeling very weak.
"Professor, she simply blacked out." Wanda commented in a tearful voice. " Don't you have any idea what's wrong?"
Stephen sighed, and then pointed at the chair, the darkhold.
"Where did you get that book?" He asked, and Wanda frowned, taking a step toward the chair in a defensive posture.
"What does that have to do with my question?" she retorted dryly, and Stephen looked at you one last time before standing up.
"There's a reason it's called the Book of the Damned, Miss Maximoff." He says."It damns its readers."
"That's ridiculous." Wanda retorted, crossing her arms. "I've been reading it for weeks and nothing has happened."
"Not with you."
Wanda hesitates, widening her eyes. And then she takes a step back, swallowing her cry as she reaches out to grab the book and hand it to Stephen.
She turns her gaze back to you, and lets the tears fall.
"I am truly sorry." She says with a mixture of guilt and shame before turning to leave the room.
You call out to her about three times, but she leaves and you don't have the strength to go after her.
"Damn, couldn't I have said that in a different way?" You complain angrily to Stephen, who just sighs, exchanging a look with Professor Munroe. "How come you two are here anyway?"
"It was Wanda." Professor Ororo replies. "She asked the room for someone trustworthy to help her with you. Then there was a door opening in the potions room. Stephen was there with me, and we both came."
"Great." You mutter annoyed, thinking about how you are going to talk to Wanda and convince her that you were not angry with her. "Would either of you happen to know how to make me better now?"
"Sure." Stephen comments by raising the book in the air, and with a wave of his hand, the item dissolves into several pieces until it is gone. "I didn't destroy it, if that's what you're thinking. I just put it away, to prevent something like that from happening again."
"Congratulations." You grumble wryly as you straighten up in bed, the same migraine from before is now weaker, but it's still there.
"You know, you had a better attitude when you didn't have a magical doom on your spirit." Stephen complains, causing you to frown, but Professor Ororo gives a chuckle.
"Thanks professor." You comment wryly, making him laugh. He sits back down beside your bed, and pulls out of the cover a small notebook.
"Now that Miss Maximoff has stopped reading the book, I suppose you will get better." Stephen says, making you sigh.
"You suppose? That's encouraging." You say moving to stand up.
"Where are you going, Miss Stark? You need to rest." Warn the professor, but you ignore him, and ignore the weakness in your body as well.
"What I need, Strange, is for people to stop lying to me."
"No one is lying, Miss Stark." Professor Ororo states next. "We really don't know the extent of the magic the darkhold carries."
"And why is that I imagine?" You sneer. "Because someone omitted the truth from you, and it's been passed down for generations, isn't it? Well, that's over now. Because we've finally studied everything in this place, including a book that condemns anyone who reads it." You exclaim impatiently, stooping down to put on your shoes. "If you two will excuse me, I'll figure out how to get better on my own. But first I'm going to explain to my girlfriend that none of this is her fault."
Ororo and Stephen are silent, but you wouldn't have been paying attention to anything they said anyway.
Soon you are up and out of the requirement room looking for Wanda.
//-//-//-//
She seems to have disappeared from the castle, so you must concentrate to use your instincts.
The hardest part is dodging the aurors, but you finally reach the astronomy tower.
You're a little out of breath from the run, but it's the image of Wanda standing on the edge, the sunlight in her hair that leaves you breathless.
"Hi." You say in a low tone, your hands in your pockets as you approach. She startles slightly, wiping away tears as she keeps her gaze forward.
"What do you want here?" she asks in a husky voice. You sigh.
"That you stop hating yourself and listen to me." You say and she lets out a short laugh.
"And what do you think you can say?" She questions turning her body toward you. "All I do is hurt you."
You shake your head, but Wanda lets out a tearful laugh.
"No you don't understand." She says. "Since I met you, you have only brought me good things. Affection, happiness, hope. You've been that kind warm feeling that I need on my worst days. Hell, you're even the memory for me to cast a patronus." She confesses with emotion, her face wet with tears. "But me? All I bring you is pain and suffering. And now I even bring sickness. This is wrong, I hurt you. You need to see this, and understand that we can no longer happen."
"Don't say that." You ask, reaching up to touch her face, wipe away her tears. "That's not true, Wanda. I love you, you make me..."
"Stop it." She interrupts with a sob. "Don't make it any harder than it already is."
"Please, Wanda, listen to me." You plead, resting your forehead on hers, your hands on her cheeks. "You make me happy, you are the only thing that makes me happy, I love you, please..."
Wanda kisses you hard, and you respond with the same intensity, both of you gasping into each other's mouths.
But then she is pulling away, thrusting you farther apart.
"I'm sorry." She cries, taking a step back. "We're over."
And she's running away again, and this time you don't go after her.
//-//-//-//-//
Without Darkhold's being consumed, you really start to improve in terms of physical health.
The only problem is the emotional ditch you find yourself in.
Gamora, Nebula and Mantis find you, again in the Room of Requirement, skipping class.
"My god this is worse than last time." Gamora remarks as she looks around at the mess of junk food and pillows. The room had been transformed into a "comfortable place", which basically had the appearance of a living room, with several soft armchairs, and lots of unhealthy food. "Why did you guys break up this time?"
"Please don't talk to me." You grumbled, your voice coming out muffled because you were lying on two soft puffs, your face buried in the pillow, your hand inside a bag of muggles snacks.
"I bet you five bucks they'll be back together before the end of the month." Nebula commented and you sniffled against your pillow, hearing a noise that sounded like Gamora hitting her sister.
"We talked to Wanda." Mantis said. "And with Professor Stephen, too. We're sorry about everything, but have you decided you're not going to study anymore?"
"I don't care about school." You grumble against the pillow. "Leave me alone, I want to cry."
Nebula gives a short laugh, and Gamora elbows her.
"Stop hitting me, you crazy." Nebula complains loudly, moving away from her sister to approach you, taking the bag of snacks you have, and making you complain softly. "And you stop being such a drama queen. Aren't you two like soul mates or some shit? It's just a fight, you'll work it out. You're acting like you've never broken up before."
"Your sensitivity is admirable." Gamora scoffs, pushing her sister away to sit next to you, stroking your back until you look up at her. "Do you want to talk about what happened?"
You feel the urge to cry arise again. "Wanda thinks she is bad for me." You say. "And she doesn't want to be with me anymore, and I want to die."
You start crying again, stuffing your face into the pillow as Gamora strokes your hair.
"How did this happen anyway?" Nebula asks, confused, chewing on salty snacks."You barely slept at home over the summer to be with her, and now you guys are breaking up. It's hard to keep up with this relationship."
"Merlin, Nebula shut up." Gamora asks impatiently, and her sister raises her hands in surrender with an ironic expression. You want to scream against your pillow, but all you do is try to control your crying.
"You can't keep disappearing, sweetheart." Gamora says as she runs her hands through your hair, trying to calm you down. "Kaecilius has already noticed. He's trying to figure out where you're going, and eventually he'll figure it out since you can't stay here forever."
"Maybe I can." You mumble making Gamora laugh softly.
"Come on, I'm sure you miss a decent meal." She says. "Why don't you join us for lunch?"
"I can't sit at your table."
"Who said anything about a table?"
This is how you end up on the edge of the great lake, at a picnic.
Mantis gets several dishes from the house elves, and since lunch is a free social hour, nobody seems to mind that you are eating outside.
Your sisters are not the only students who, over time, have learned ways around school rules.
You grumble slightly as you feel the sun on your face, but lie back on the grass, closing your eyes.
Your mind wanders back to last summer immediately, the memories of Wanda, and you feel horrible. You just want her back. And then you swallow the urge to cry again to accept the juice Mantis offers you.
"We wanted to tell you that we've found a way to help you, too." Gamora says after a moment, causing you to raise your eyebrow. "About the darkhold, and the eternal damnation thing."
"Light topic." You sneer, throwing your arm over your face. The day is hot. "I appreciate the help, of course."
Gamora giggles. "Merlin, I had forgotten how grumpy you get when you're upset."
"I'm not upset, Gamora." You retort angrily. "I'm frustrated."
"Sexually." Nebula sneers, making you grunt in anger, but Mantis holds back a laugh.
"What's your problem with my feelings lately?" You accuse the girl with irritation.
"Not everything is about you, you know." She retorts and you sit up quickly, looking at her with a raised eyebrow.
"What's that supposed to mean?"
Nebula laughs, rolling her eyes. "In case you haven't noticed, there's a war going on." She says. "We're all stressed and scared. And the three of us have been in the same classes as you, having to watch the same things. But you only have time for Wanda. And now you've broken up, again, because there's some mortal danger, again, that she's caused for you. So, I don't know, but maybe she is right to break up. Ever since you guys started dating everything has been about her, and the trouble she causes!"
"Fuck you, Nebula!" You exclaim angrily, advancing against the girl in front of you. Gamora and Mantis quickly separate you.
"Hey, what's wrong with you?" Gamora shoves you. "Were you really going to hit her?"
"Fuck this." You curse angrily, taking a step away. "I didn't ask any of you to come after me. I don't need you. I just need Wanda. Fucking leave me alone."
You turn back to the castle, cursing the wild on your way.
//-//-//-//
Loki is the only friend you have now.
You wouldn't call him a friend exactly.
Kaecilius has put you in detention for three days a week, including Saturday, but mostly you just clean the castle. But when he takes you to the seventh floor, and makes you scrape sentences against your own skin, you don't worry about being alone anymore, because Loki is always on that floor.
It takes a week for you to tell him about the requirement room.
" You could have mentioned it earlier, we would have stuck around here." He comments without sounding upset.
Soon it doesn't take long for you two to start seeing each other even when you're not in detention.
You are not surprised that Loki also skips classes, he has always been quite mischievous, but the reason is different from yours.
He knew dark magic. Much more than you or your classmates. And he has no interest in practicing it in class.
"It's stupid." He comments as you are sitting in the armchairs. "Most people will never have the courage or willpower to cast a death curse. It's useless to learn."
"Is that the only reason you don't agree with the teaching at Hogwarts now?" You ask in surprise, setting up the chessboard for yourself as Loki shrugs his shoulders.
"I feel like you're judging me, Hufflepuff." He sneers but you smile, rolling your eyes.
"Honestly, I don't give a damn."
And you really didn't care.
Wanda was avoiding you in the halls, and you were doing the same with your friends and family.
When Iron delivered the mail to the Slytherin table, including Nebula's birthday presents, you wanted to throw up, but all you did was walk away from the Hufflepuff table toward the requirement room.
Without the darkhold, you didn't feel sick, but the anger didn't go away.
Your magic hadn't stabilized, and you were failing at everything, but you couldn't bring yourself to worry about it.
Erik wrote to you, commenting on the importance of you and Wanda practicing magical balancing together, and you burned the letter while crying on the carpet.
And at this rate, time went by.
It was almost the middle of the school year when things started to take a turn for the worse at Hogwarts, and in the wizarding war as well.
Mephisto is getting stronger, and the order is losing. And Kaecillius must be under some pressure from the ministry, maybe for answers from organizations like the Avengers, which are forbidden, because his detentions get too horrible.
It is Saturday again, and you drag yourself to the room where you are supposed to fulfill your detention, but unlike the other days, Kaecillius locks the door.
You only notice because he seems tense and distracted, and there is no feather or book.
"Professor, what will my punishment be today?" You ask confused, and he is nodding to the center of the room as he stands in front of the desk, a few feet from you.
"Miss Stark, today I want to ask some questions and I expect honesty." He declines as he turns to you.
You hiss softly, putting your hands in your pockets.
"Shoot."
Kaecillius doesn't even mind your lack of formality, looking at you with an impassive face.
"What is Mephisto's location?"
You choke in surprise and disbelief. "Excuse me? Why do you think I know that?"
"The ministry has reason enough to suspect that the Order of the Avengers is nothing more than a cover for the death walkers.Your brother, whom I had suspected of being part of that order of delinquents, is no longer at Hogwarts, but you will have to serve." He speaks and with each word you become more outraged. "Now answer me, where is Mephisto?"
" Did you just fucking call my brother a delinquent?" You mutter incredulously. "I have no idea where Mephisto is, what's your problem?"
But you widen your eyes when the professor draws his wand, and you barely have time to swallow dry before the spell hits you in the chest.
It's the cruciatus curse. You know the second it hits you. The sharp pain fills every cell in your body and you scream, not having the strength to stand or with your eyes open, hugging yourself.
"We must not tell lies, Miss Stark." Kaecillius says as soon as he stops enchanting you, the pain disappears in the same instant, but you continue to tremble.
In complete shock and fear, you sob.
"I will ask you again, where is Mephisto?"
You let the tears flow, and shake your head. "I don't know, professor."
Kaecillius lets out a sigh of disappointment. "Some cases are more difficult than others." He comments somberly, taking a step toward her. "Did you know that the record for enduring the Cruciatus curse before madness is six hours? Incredible, isn't it? It happened during the first war, with a muggleborn. You're a half-blood, maybe you can take longer"
He has a devilish grin as he finishes, and you clench your jaw at the threat.
"I don't know where Mephisto is." You repeat, but the professor points his wand at you again.
"My bet is seven hours."
And then the pain returns.
You don't know how long you stay in that room.
But it is long enough for your consciousness to begin to fade. The pain gets so severe that it gradually fades away. You begin to gasp breathlessly, not even able to scream anymore.
Someone help me. Please, help me. Help me. Wanda.
Between the tears you see the floor of the room, and between a twinge of pain, a red light. And everything is dark again.
//-//-//
“Headmaster of Hogwarts School of Warcraft and Wizard is arrested in flagrant by aurors from the ministry of magic this week, full coverage on page..."
You blink confusedly, your eyes getting used to the clarity, while the headline of the Daily Prophet was the first thing your vision caught.
And then you shifted in bed, realizing that you were in a hospital room , and whoever was reading next to you put the paper down when they heard you, and you could behold the curious look on your brother's face.
"Tony?" you whispered confused, and he smiled as he stood up quickly, the newspaper forgotten on the armchair.
"Hey, how are you feeling?" He asked as his hand reached for the loose strands of hair on your face and put them back. "You scared the hell out of me."
"What happened?"
"What's the last thing you remember?"
You thought, and then sighed, closing your eyes for a moment.
"Kaecilius."
Tony bit his lip nervously before speaking.
"I'm sorry." He said, lowering his hand to his own. "I came here as soon as I got the howler from Professor Strange, but honestly, I didn't even need it, because all the newspapers are talking about it."
"What...?" You started in confusion, but Tony hurried to explain.
"Wanda found you, Y/N." He told. "She, well, wasn't exactly happy about the whole thing. I think she lost control. Kaecilius is lucky to be alive if you ask me. She almost destroyed the seventh floor, it was a huge mess. And then the aurors interfered, and soon there were reporters everywhere. I guess now everyone knows she's a scarlet witch."
You widened your eyes, straightening to sit up and grumbling a little in pain. Tony looked at you with concern, asking you to take it easy, but you were already asking about Wanda.
"She's at the ministry of magic." He clarified. "Kaecilius is going on trial for torturing a student, and she will answer for putting everyone in danger."
" What?" you ask incredulously, and Tony sighs.
"Yeah I know it's unfair." He says. "But the minister of magic seems to be looking everywhere for people to blame for his lack of control. The problem is how much of that information will get to Mephisto. The whole ministry seems to be full of walkers."
You ran your hand across your face, frustrated.
"I'm so tired, Tony." You confess in a whisper. "It feels like everything is falling apart around me, and things are only getting worse."
Tony squeezes your hand. "I'm sorry, I really am. This whole situation sucks, and I wanted to help you. I'm trying, sister. I haven't been talking to you as much as I should, but I didn't want you to think you're alone. I'm working on breaking the bond. To free you and Wanda from the prophecy, and the wizarding world from dangers like Mephisto. I'm sorry I haven't been by your side."
You swallow your cry, and nod, trying to smile at Tony. He reaches up to hug you, and you gasp softly, taking a few seconds to relax and let the tears flow.
When you calm down, Tony tells you that he is going to get a Mediwizards to check your situation.
You lie down again, sighing softly. The memories come back with full force, and you choke softly, feeling your body tremble.
It's as if you can feel the curse again, sense the pain on your skin. Opening your eyes and shaking the memories away, you swallow dryly and reach for the glass of water on the nightstand.
You just want Wanda by your side telling you that everything is going to be okay.
//-//-//-//-//
You stay under observation for two days.
Doctor Hank makes a joke about you enjoying St.Mungus more than you should since you keep coming back, but Tony doesn't laugh.
Then you' re going back to Hogwarts by train, because the doctor thinks you shouldn't use magical means of transportation for a few days, and it's weird to take the empty express, but as soon as you arrive at the station, Gamora and Nebula are waiting for you with boxes of candy bought in Hogsmeade, and tight hugs.
You are not surprised by the stares you receive from the other students, but you ignore them as your sisters escort you around the castle to the Hufflepuff communal hall.
"Did you get to talk to Wanda?" Gamora asks as soon as you sit down on your bed, sighing with exhaustion from the train ride. The mention of the other sorceress' name doesn't help.
"Not yet." You say. "And I wouldn't be surprised to hear that she's ignoring me."
Nebula exchanges a look with her sister before sitting down on Mantis' bed, who is hugging her knees and looking at you.
"Honestly, I just want to finish this year without any more problems." You confess as you take off your jacket. And there is a moment of silence before you swallow dryly. "I also wanted to apologize to you guys."
Gamora frowns slightly, but says nothing. You take a deep breath.
"I know I was under the influence of an evil book, but that was still no excuse for treating you guys like that." You begin. "Tony told me about how things are in the wizarding world. Everyone is going through something, and it was selfish of me to think that only my problems matter. I'm sorry."
"Really, Y/N, it's okay." Nebula says, surprising you a bit. "We were all stressed, and well, I think an evil book is a pretty fair excuse." She jokes, making you smile. "Maybe things will get a little better now that Strange is the director."
"Oh, that's right" You comment just then remembering the things Tony updated you on while you were at St.Mungus. Like Kaecillius' resignation, and the position being passed on to Professor Stephen. "But honestly, I won't be at peace until I hear from Wanda."
"The trial isn't until Friday. And the way things are going, we won't get any news until it's over." Gamora warned as she sat down on the bed next to you. "I think the Maximoffs are probably too busy to write."
"What do you think will happen to Wanda?" You ask as you tug at the loose strands of the comforter. Mantis sighs lightly.
"I don't have a good feeling about things, Y/N." She confesses and you frown in concern. "And the stars never lie."
"Thank you, Mantis." You mock softly, and Gamora runs her hands through her hair.
"Let's not be pessimistic, okay?" she says. "Maybe the predictions are about, I don't know, the school finals? It doesn't mean something bad is really going to happen."
You grumble unhappily, grabbing a pillow and sinking your face into it. Gamora strokes your back.
"I'm sure things will work out, Y/N." She says. "Wanda will write as soon as she can."
"Do you guys think Kaecilius will be sent to Azkaban?" Nebula asks next, making you raise your head curiously.
"I wouldn't be so sure." You grumble. "I was actually surprised that he was put on trial at all."
"Well, with the whole mess that happened, it was bound to happen." Gamora said. "More than half the school became aware that he used the cruciatus curse on you, and then the daily prophet. And I didn't even know they were in the castle."
"It was because of Wanda really, wasn't it?" Mantis added. "Kaecillius caused his own ruin. He called the journalists to show what he called progress and decided to torture a student while they were in the castle. Then Wanda destroyed the entire floor and the next morning his arrest was all over the pages."
"I'm just really outraged to know that if no one had seen it, he would probably still be at Hogwarts." Gamora says angrily, and you sigh, agreeing as well as the others.
"Well, you must be hungry, shall we go to the great hall? It's almost dinner time." Gamora comments next, pulling you by the hand. You grumble softly, but agree, and soon you are leaving the communal hall to join the rest of the students.
//-//-//-//-//
You are tapping your fingers gently against the desk as you wait for the History of Magic class to begin.
It is Friday, finally.
You have barely slept because of anxiety about news of Wanda's trial.
Things at Hogwarts have changed a lot this week, all because of Strange's administration.
He restored the old classes, banned the teaching of dark magic, the scandal at the Daily Prophet being enough of an argument that the Minister of Magic no longer had a defense over this kind of teaching at Hogwarts. The restricted session of the library was also put back, and the seventh floor was off-limits because of the destruction Wanda caused, and you unfortunately lost access to the Requirement room.
Mantis was writing what looked like a lunar calendar for the divination class while Professor Okoye didn't arrive, and you started whistling distractedly.
And then Thor Odinson was poking you in the back to get your attention, and you turned around in your chair.
"Hi, Stark, what's up?"
"Fine." You grumbled suspiciously. "Can I help you with something?"
Thor looked almost unsure. "I was just wondering if you know of anything going on with Loki."
You frowned. "Excuse me?"
"I mean if you know if he's sick or something." He explains. "We had a fight, and well, he's not talking to me. And I've noticed that you guys have been kind of close lately, and I was curious if you knew anything and..."
"No, Thor, I'm sorry." You interrupt with a sigh. "Maybe you should ask him that."
Thor assumes a sad expression. "I would, but he's ignoring me. I think it might be about our mother."
You make a confused expression, and Thor looks surprised.
"Our mother, she...died earlier this year, Y/N." Thor counters, and you widen your eyes. "Our family is a name of reference against Mephisto. With the war, the walkers came to our home. She was there while we were here, and Dad was at the ministry."
"I'm so sorry, Thor." You whisper to him, still shocked by the information. He shrugged.
"I thought Loki told you."
"We don't talk about things like that, I guess." You say. "Sorry, I wish I knew how to help you."
"No, it's okay." Thor says with a sad smile. "You being his friend this year is more than enough. I don't like seeing him all alone out here."
You nod lightly, settling into your chair as you notice the teacher entering the room.
Mantis exchanges a look of understanding with you, having overheard the conversation even if accidentally, but she says nothing, and soon you are hearing about the witch hunt in the United States, and you try to focus on that rather than curiosity about how Wanda's trial is going or Loki's current emotional state.
//-//-/-//-//-//
As soon as lunchtime begins, you join the Slytherin table, where some of the students have placed a radio on the table, equally with other students from the other houses, to listen to the trial.
You are not surprised that a student's trial is such an interesting topic for everyone, but after the school started talking about Wanda being a scarlet witch, and the theories circulating around the halls, it was to be expected.
So you sit back while biting your fingertips and listening.
"And now directly from the Ministry of Magic, the trial of seventeen-year-old witch Wanda Maximoff, daughter of legendary witch Erik L-"
Your attention is slightly diverted from the narrative when loud laughter catches your ears.
They are Gryffindor and Slytherin students, exchanging coins. You don't need to hear the conversation to know they are gambling about the trial, the mean laughter and glances in the direction of you and your sisters are enough.
And as if she could feel your growing fury, Gamora touches your shoulder gently.
"Just ignore them, Y/N." She urges and you clench your jaw. " Everything is going to be okay with Wanda."
"I hope you're right, Gamora." You grumble, turning your attention back to the radio.
The narration of the newspaper is generic, and you discover that the audience has been closed off to the reporters.
You take a deep breath, concentrating.
No strange feeling, so Wanda is safe.
You wonder if Erik and Pietro are by her side during the whole thing.
It is only at the end of lunchtime that you have the result.
"It's amazing how things unfold in the ministry this afternoon." Counted the reporter with almost excitement. "After a unanimous vote, the witch Wanda Maximoff was found guilty of endangering her fellow students by not registering as a scarlet witch to the ministry of magic, after it was proven that her father, the sorcerer Erik Lehnsherr knew of her condition, as well as the affiliation with the criminal, Agatha Harkness was also mentioned. The ministry finally decided on Wanda Maximoff's expulsion from Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizarding"
You felt your stomach plummet.
And everything became a little muffled around you, a soft whistle in your ear. You think Gamora and Nebula were calling for you, but you were getting up, feeling the room getting too small.
Stumbling out, you loosened the knot of your tie, finally stopping in the courtyard as you leaned your body against a pillar.
Wanda had been expelled from Hogwarts, publicly exposed as a Scarlet Witch, and tried as a criminal. You wondered if they would break her wand. Banned wizards led horrible lives.
Your sisters and friends caught up with you quickly, and you let them hug you.
In a few minutes Director Strange is catching up with you as well, and you release Gamora's grip to talk to him.
"Professor, I need to..."
"You cannot leave Hogwarts, Miss Stark." He interrupts with a wave of his hands and you frown in confusion, ready to protest but he is already speaking. "Tony sent a patronus as soon as the results came out, he already figured you'd want to see Miss Maximoff. The ministry is a mess, and Wanda will be staying with her father there for the minister's final decisions. You should stay here, where you are safe."
"That's not fair!" You squawk angrily. "Wanda needs me, I must-"
"She needs you to be safe." He interrupts again seriously, and then lowers his tone slightly as he notices the curious looks of the surrounding students. "Be rational, Miss Stark. Now that the Wizarding community knows the nature of Wanda's powers, how long before Mephisto has enough information and discovers your identity as protector."
You swallow dryly, clenching your fists begrudgingly. Stephen is right. You look away, and he sighs, placing his hand on your shoulder.
"Wanda will be fine, even without her NEWTS, she is an extraordinary witch." He says. "And the year is coming to an end, soon you will be able to see her again."
"She needs me now." You grumble annoyed, turning away from the professor's touch. He looks at you for a moment and then clears his throat.
"I'll see what I can do, Miss Stark." He says."In the meantime, focus on your studies, and be careful."
You frown at Stephen's words, but he is already turning and leaving before you can ask.
As you turn to your friends, Gamora has a worried look on her face.
"Are you okay?" She asks, and you sigh, agreeing to hug her again as you mumble no.
"I can feel how upset she is, Gamora." You grumble against your sister's shirt, wishing you could hug Wanda now. Gamora squeezes you against her arms, and you thank her for her intention even if it isn't enough.
The next few days are like a blur for you.
Many letters arrive, as do many editions of the Daily Prophet.
When the picture of the day Wanda's wand was broken comes out on the front page and you see her tired face, you have to run out of the common room to keep from crying in front of your colleagues.
Everyone writes to you, even Carol, everyone but the Maximoffs.
It is frustrating, and honestly, it breaks your heart in many ways.
The news of a Scarlet Witch after a century is almost as bombastic as Mephisto's return, and you're not surprised that many of your colleagues would start to comment on the possibility of Wanda working with him or against him.
It's overwhelming how everyone talks about her, but all you can feel is how much you miss her around the castle, around you.
You couldn't even remember that your magic is stable, and with everything that has happened, you haven't had time to figure out how to fix things.
Stephen tried to help, but he didn't know what was going on. At least the theoretical part of magic you were able to master, and you hoped to get at least an acceptable score in some subjects.
Only almost a week and a half after the trial, Professor Strange interrupts the potions class to talk to you.
Ignoring the curious stares and whispers of your classmates, you ask Professor Munroe to excuse you, and leave the room.
"What is wrong, professor?" You ask curiously as you close the door, watching Stephen with his hands in his pockets.The dungeons feel emptier without the ministry aurors around the castle.
"Saturday, in the Astronomy tower, nine-thirteen at night." He says as he hands you a small gold key, causing you to frown in confusion. "You will have exactly one hour, Miss Stark. Not a second more."
You stare at the object in your hand, and understand. A portal key. To Wanda.
"Thank you, Professor." You say, and Stephen nods before leaving.
You turn back to potions, the object in your pocket. You could barely contain your anxiety.
//-//-//-//-//-//-//
Tag list> @imapotatao / @aimezvousbrahms/ @ensorcellme/ @helloalycia || @mionemymind / @abimess / @stephanieromanoff / @yourtaletotell / @tomy5girls / @justagaypanicking / @thegayw1tch / @idek-5 // @myperfectlovepoem // @helloalycia // @ENSORCELLME // @AIMEZVOUSBRAHMS // @drpepperobsessed // @sighsam // @olsensnpm // @sxfwap // @table57 // @madamevirgo // @causeitswhatjesuswouldfreakingdo // @emptysince18x // @xastrydx || @yuhloversxx || @ymzki-haruki || @wouldirunofftheworldsomeday || @lostandsearching || @lezzzbehonesthere || @musicinourlips || @chaekhan || @diaryoflife || @nervoustrack || @aquamarinescarlet || @cristin-rjd || @idamaemann || @fortunatelynerdylight || @iliketozoneout || @blackwow34 // @tiny--freak || @spongebobtentacles || @cyberbonesworld ||
A/F/N> Place your bets for my next comeback (a week, a month or tomorrow?). If I delete the blog, and you're in love with this story for some reason I don't know about because there are so many better things to read, know that I'll post everything on AO3 if I ever do.
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theowlsarequeer · 3 years ago
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So on Twitter especially, there's been a lot of "The Owl House has better queer representation than x," or "x's representation sucks" and here's why that really bothers me in a full essay on tumblr dot com.
Quick disclaimer: This is about queer representation specifically. A lot of popular queer shows have a lot of other issues with different types of representation, or lack thereof, and that can and should be criticized, and many of them include stereotypes or harmful tropes WITH queer rep that also can and should be criticized. This post is about painting queer representation as a black-and-white thing and calling certain shows' representation "bad" without any nuance
First off, what makes queer representation "good" is subjective. The LGBTQ+ community is an amazingly diverse community in both identities and personal taste, and queer representation in media should reflect that with a variety of different stories to choose from. One queer person might like stories where bigotry isn't a huge plot point, while another might want to see their struggles reflected on screen. One might like the show to be about being queer, while another might like a character's queerness to be a side plot at most. Additionally, there are so many different identities and experiences under the queer umbrella that it's unrealistic and impossible to expect a single show, book series, or movie to include them all, and that could very easily result in certain stories being swept under the carpet. Again, this is why a variety of queer shows to choose from is important. There could be a show with amazing, well-written queer characters and storylines, and you as a queer person might just not like it for whatever reason. That's perfectly fine and normal.
Second, I almost never see differences between studios and networks taken into account. Some networks and studios have a long history of loud and public homophobia (cough cough, Disney, cough cough) and queer representation is going to be significantly harder to include without your show paying the price. While The Owl House is facing a significantly shorter run for a variety of reasons, the decision was made towards the end of Season 1, right around the time of Grom and Wing It Like Witches, and especially considering that Disney funded Florida's Don't Say Gay bill, we can assume that queer rep was at least part of it. Considering that before TOH all we had coming from Disney TVA was the cops from Gravity Falls (correct me if I'm wrong) and after TOH got such a positive response from it's online fanbase Amphibia ended up including some queer characters in it's third and final season, we can already see the impact it had. (Which is why it's still important to watch TOH legally if you can-it shows that there's interest in both story-driven shows that skew older AND queer representation! Unfortunately, money is the only way to get through to Disney.)
At Netflix, however, it's a little bit different with a lot of shows because Netflix originals can often come from other studios (Dreamworks, See Saw Films, etc,) and Netflix is their distributor. This can make it a little hard to determine where queer rep is either coming from or being blocked by. For streaming services as a whole, there tends to be more representation, which is partially because of the major switch to streaming happening right now. I also have a feeling that the general theory is that for a kid to watch Kipo and the Age of Wonderbeasts (fantastic show btw) they'd have to either actively search up the show or at least choose it from their recommended or whatever, while if a kid turns on Cartoon Network or Disney or whatever and a show is playing then they basically just watch it, so for streaming services there's more ways for parents to regulate what their kids are actually seeing. (At least from what I've seen, queer representation is more likely to get a show for kids cancelled but is more likely to be either stereotypical or have a plot that relies on bigotry in shows for adults. And I haven't seen a lot in shows for teens, other than Arcane and Heartstopper.) But whichever way you look at it, queer representation, how hard it is to include, and the variety of stories varies from network to network.
Additionally, shows like The Owl House and Heartstopper are from 2020-2022. We as a community have come so far in the last couple decades, and it's simply not realistic to expect a show from 2012, or even a show from 2018, to be on par with a show from 2021. And the success of shows like The Owl House is largely due to the positive response to previous shows' representation. Same concept as rainbow capitalism: companies are starting to realize that there's money to be found from queer representation and that queer stories are profitable. Which, yknow, is not really the mentality that I'd like to be put into telling my communities stories, but it's better than nothing.
Especially with media for kids, even if a character or story is not the best written, the fact that it was there can be monumental. Looking back as a teenager, the scene in House of Hades where Nico is outed is not really the best or healthiest representation and is not how I would write it in 2022, but at age 8, before same sex marriage was even legalized, I could read about a queer character in an easily accessible and age-appropriate book series that I loved, and that was such a huge step in my acceptance journey. There were multiple copies of almost every Rick Riordan book in both my elementary school library and my local public library, my parents and teachers were already comfortable with me reading the book (even to this day, I'm not really supposed to read books that are visibly queer,) and it was a prominent, three-dimensional character in a series that was my whole life for years. Nico, and later Alex, were the representation I didn't even know I needed, and while today a lot of people agree that they were not the best-written queer characters, the fact that they were there changed my life.
For my brothers, shows like The Owl House and Kipo and books like Trials of Apollo are their Heros of Olympus. And even if they don't turn out to be queer themselves, they at least weren't assholes when I came out. Hell, She Ra taught them how to use they/them pronouns (one of my brothers doesn't quite get it but he has a lot of trouble with spelling and grammar bc of a learning disability and he's trying, which is what matters.) And my brothers, who are 12 and 9 years old, cannot remember a time where they couldn't go to Netflix, Disney+, or their school library and read or watch stories about characters like me. Which, guys, I can't get over how far we've come. I'm 14-16 (not revealing exact age for privacy reasons,) and I can easily remember a time where same-sex marriage was illegal in a lot of states and I had never seen any media with queer characters. And I've watched queer representation get better and better over the years, which inspired me to want to create my own stories too. And while we still have a long way to go, I'm so happy with the way things have been changing.
In short, here's a list of things to consider when comparing and contrasting queer media:
When was this piece of media made? How would this have affected the way these characters are written?
What studio, platform, network, or publishing company is this media from? What is this company's stance on the queer community? What was this company's stance when the media was created?
Has this company or author created any queer media since this particular piece? What does that representation look like?
Are the creators of this media queer themselves? (A little off topic, but always something to consider)
Is it actually queerbaiting, or were parts of this character's story cut in production?
Is this queer representation actually bad, or do I just not like it?
Is this queer media actually bad, or is it just for a different age group (if you don't like shows like She Ra or TOH because they're 'too childish'... they are actually for kids. absolutely nothing wrong with enjoying them, but if they're too childish for you then you might be ready for an adult show)
Did the crew or author face any backlash during production? (For a lot of media, this is a 5-second google search.)
Criticizing media is good and healthy and I 1000% support it, but contextualizing the specific book, movie, or show you're talking about is a necessary step that I very often see skipped.
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ourmondobongo · 3 years ago
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Hello! I'm new on tumblr :) I found your blog and came to love your interpretation on Levi's character ❤
I've recently come to notice that aside from many eruri shippers, there's also a vast majority of the fandom consider Levi as an obsessed revenge-seeker who doesn't give a flying crap about humanity in the final battle. I personally disagree with this idea and can't even bear the thought. Levi only proved to us in the final battle how much he cares. He was ready basically ready to put himself in danger anytime and almost forgot about the promise. But anyway the reason I'm here is because a few people and I were discussing this issue with a guy who keeps saying:
"1) He was just happened to be there in the final battle. He was there for Zeke and he made it clear in 126 that his intention is killing the beast titan to Magath and Pieck. No Zeke. No care"
"2) On the plane all he was thinking about was killing the monkey and it's not because it was Hanji's theory. He just wanted to kill tbe beast"
"3) Before getting onto the plane he didn't participate in battle but once he knew they were getting close to Eren's whereabouts, where Zeke probably was, he took part and don't tell me it was because he was recovering in those days while Hange and the other were fighting the Jaegerists. If we were to consider that then he needed rest till the very end of the series. He didn't need to take part in the battle"
"4) While flying on Falco he kept saying "Where is he? Where is the beast? And kept remembering Erwin's orders. Doesn't that sound like a simp to you?"
I'm sorry this turned out long but these horrible things are only parts of what he said. We tried arguing with him but well sometimes it's really hard to make someone understand lol What do you think about each of these 4 takes? I would love to read your thoughts and analysis. You sound like a very logical person.
Hello!!! 
Welcome to Tumblr!!!
Thank you for the kind words! I love Levi a lot!
And though I'm nowhere near as in depth or accurate as other snk metas writers who long live here, I try my best to at least one or two points here and there as best as I can!
Before we begin exploring your points, excuse me for a sec while I share a bit of a concern I have…
You know, I feel like these last volumes of snk had a strange pacing, which compromised the depiction of facts and how the characters were living the events. Because while many things are getting clear now, almost one year later, the fact that there were an incredibly lot of faithful and sincere readers feeling way off or confused about the end of snk isn't normal, imo. Veteran people here on Tumblr - who used to write very in depth analysis of snk! - were so disappointed they dropped out of the fandom, or wrote frustrating rants. I can’t help but feel like there is a communication gap begging to be fixed and crossed between Isym, the manga, and the readers (at least the non-Japanese ones?).
And besides the seemingly need for a less rushed pacing, be it for the lack of more accurate manga translations, or side material officially published (such the smartpasses and other guidebooks), or snk interviews published in a official place to be referenced easily, or WIT's badass-biased portrait of characters - there seems to be a little gap between what Yams had been trying to say and what was written and shown in the manga, imo. Not to mention all the wild push-and-pull between ships, yeagerist x alliance, "the ML is always right" x "the ML is a complete maniac incel", and whatevers...
So I think this is why the anime now seems to be adapting the chapters slower, more detailed, orderly in timeline, and kinda heavy, brutal, and more humanistic. Though at first I didn't want to see a snk movie for the end, I'm somewhat starting to like the idea - if this is for the anime to fill up and smooth out the convoluted transitions between what Isym managed to present in the manga and what he wanted to do but couldn't on the paper for whatever reason. I think it will be good for the general audience who will still stick to the conclusion!
Now, let's go to the points you brought up!!
"1) He was just happened to be there in the final battle. He was there for Zeke and he made it clear in 126 that his intention is killing the beast titan to Magath and Pieck. No Zeke. No care"
Sometimes I feel like the fandom kinda forgets that EMA are the MCs of snk. I've forgotten sometimes that as well ngl  
Levi certainly grew to become the most beloved and why not to say most important character of snk alongside Eren. But still, the main plot was not his history to resolve the final problems himself. The "hierarchy" is Eren-Mikasa-Armin, and then Levi. Or even, Levi's story was paralleled with Eren's. 
Regardless of this, most of the time I feel like people who claim Levi was just by chance/alive in the final battle are mostly arguing based on "death plot armor" and "Levi was nerfed so Mikasa could shine" ideas. And tbh, it kinda bothers me when I read people saying "Isym nerfed Levi because he was too OP and would have killed Zeke and Eren in a blink" and other typical shounen sayings because I don't think it was the case at all. 
While it's kinda controversial that Levi could fight on such horrible conditions considering that in the Female Arc he was put out of commission due to his injured feet, they were facing the end of the world now, and with barely anyone left to join the fight. But since my own view is but my own on the matter, I like to reference people to this interview here, in which pretty much Isym explains Levi wouldn't always be placed on the front lines by being too powerful. But rather than simply "nerf" him, this actually adds depth to Levi's character (as well to all other characters who had to put themselves together and face the danger). Levi's worried face and clenched fist in chapter 33 tells us how hard it was for him to stand by and only watch people having to fight while he can't...
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...But this nuance is mostly lost because anime people usually pick the manga to read from where the anime season ended, and Thank you WIT for bringing Levi out of nowhere and making him save everyone's asses in the anime for the sake of fanservice - it helped to unnecessarily OP his character a lot!! (*sighs*)
(As a side note about Levi's injuries after 115, the drawings of Levi's chest and abs on 126, there weren't broken ribs or any other visibly serious injury, nor major problems aside from his face. I believe Hanji would have wrapped his abs with something to show it, or Yams would have made it bleed or purple or whatever. Levi definitely should have purple bruises since he fell hard on the ground, tho, but please MAPPA do NOT cover Levi's sexy back LOL)
And talking about chapter 126 - imo, it falls in the list of chapters that definitely should have been split into two different chapters. It feels kinda rushed, too much info packed into 45 pages, borderline cringe in some parts. Maybe it's why the aot leaks say the anime will have a whole episode dedicated just for it - they might flesh out the content to make the plot flow more smoothly.
But regarding Levi and Hanji’s talk with Magath and Pieck, something everyone should consider is that MagaPi didn't know LeviHan at all - just that they were highly capable soldiers and leaders of the Survey Corps. They were "sworn enemies", the ones who put into shame ALL their precious Titan Shifters. And as far as MagaPi knew, LeviHan were supposed to be cunning and merciless, vengeful "Island Devils" that had invaded Liberio and wreaked havoc, and killed military and civilians just a month ago; they had been secretly working with Zeke all the time.
So why would MagaPi believe our devoted hearts would want to save their deadly, hate-filled persecutors? And also after all the tragedies Marley itself had imposed on them? 
As humans and soldiers that had all the reasons to distrust one another, LeviHan presumably understood that MagaPi needed some solid goal or purpose besides the "we want to save the same people that want to kill us all!!!". If even readers mocked this idea, and Isym also kinda ironizes this in the "Avengers Pose" at the end of 126 as well as using Yelena to make critics over the superficiality/naivety of the thought of saving the world in 127, what makes anyone think this would simply work with LeviHan and MagaPi right of the bat? 
That's why they use Zeke as a credible link to instigate the start of a conversation.
I presume MagaPi were well aware of Levi and Zeke’s animosity. They might have deduced that Levi’s hurt predicament was due to a fight with Zeke too. I would like to point out, tho, that while Levi proposes the idea, Isym does a close up on Hanji, Magath, and Pieck's faces. Hanji's eye is hidden (meaning it's not simply this killing intention they had in mind), and Magath isn't buying it just yet too, and above all Pieck once again dislikes the idea of killing Zeke, just like in 119.
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Their main interest definitely isn't aligned as of yet. But it was the best first step they could try out.
Thus, "No Zeke, no care" is but a heavily blindly obsessive-revenge interpretation of Levi's character. Thank you Kodansha for officially translating Hanji's words of vexing feelings as a need for revenge too 🙃 Levi's character was benefited by it (*sighs*).
As for Levi’s general feelings and thoughts in the final battle, I think chapter 136 couldn't be more explicit than that!
Levi is literally dropping his burden goal of killing Zeke because he is too injured to fight him (and it would bring more dangers to his kids if he died meaninglessly), 
and Levi is shoving up and scrubbing into our faces that the world he himself and the others hoped for when they decided to fight in the SC wasn't to destroy others (but thanks again, KodanshaTM, for changing WE DREAMT to YOU DREAMT 🙃👌), 
and when gripping his sword, Levi is showing he is renewing his will to not give up his dream and die succumb to the pressure of the horrors of the moment, and that he is gonna fight until his dying breath now - whether Zeke appears or not - while entrusting the future to the youth who held the same look of hopeful freedom he saw at the Heart of the SC. 
But, ofc, there comes Erwin's name after this all, and Levi expressing no regrets about having let him die, and near the eyes' sentence; and as the first KodanshaTM "you" wasn't translated as plural you, Levi's heartbreaking and multilayered monologue is read as him being a one-dimensional-soon-to-be-dead-vengeful-impaired-simp nerfed by Isym and that just wanted to fulfill a promise "to kill monkeyTM". 
At this point, I can only hope the animation can somehow save Levi's character now. Or maybe, Isym himself may give an interview which clarifies this all with his own words so people can settle this matter once and for all. I wonder what Japanese readers think of this whole crazy ordeal...
Lastly, Super-peace-fangirl has shown perfectly panel by panel how much Levi cared about snk final events especially on chapter 138, after Zeke's death. If Levi isn't clearly showing AGAIN that he is saving and caring and battling for humanity, I don't know what his character is doing anymore!!
"2) On the plane all he was thinking about was killing the monkey and it's not because it was Hanji's theory. He just wanted to kill the beast"
Being a bit bitter, I'm not even shocked over Hanji erasure here. 
Hanji’s treatment in this ending was… rushed and kinda unfair. And it doesn't help that Yams drew Hanji mentioning the Zeke hypothesis back in chapter 126, in a minuscule panel during a supposedly important conversation that made enemies worked together but that only lasted for 02 pages (*sighs*). 
Still, at least two key points are being forgotten when people argue that Levi is but "obsessively hunting down his prey" in chapter 133 and so on:   
The Characters don't have ORVP 
We, readers, have the omniscient reader viewpoint. The characters don't. So we readers might know whatever is going on inside the Founder and the extension of Zeke’s relationship with its power, but Levi and the others didn't know.
And when we read the scenes projecting our awareness upon the text and the characters actions, then we slip down on the problem of "Oh, this is so obvious!". Which ends up with us proceeding to read events and statements as a "broken record", which I feel that happens with Levi regarding Zeke (and the vow too). 
Hanji is the Biggest Titan Specialist of snk World 
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Levi is one of the most sincere narrators of snk, even if sometimes he needs a translator.  
If he himself said "I'm not certain, but that was what Hanji predicted", then Levi (Professional Titan Killer, and not ORVP/reader/Yams) might not be 100% sure that killing Zeke will stop the Rumbling, but since Hanji (the Biggest Titan Specialist of their world, as even hinted by Pieck on 126) predicted as much, Levi was betting on it. To him, following Hanji's experience and knowledge of 10 years regarding Titan studies, killing Zeke has a great chance to stop it all. And if it spares Eren's life, then it's something even better. So Levi is not using lame excuses, or blind vengeful reasons, to go after Zeke. This, or Yams is fucking kidding with Hanji’s character. I can’t believe he would go so low as use this crap with Levi of all characters.
And I also want to highlight that no one else there but Armin and Levi could have thought of that idea. But it's quite logical Armin wouldn't be used in this because his dilemma over killing Eren had to last longer. At the same time, imo, this is Isym also showing that Levi was reluctant on killing Eren as much as everyone else. We can see it from 112, then his behavior in 133 in Paths, and then until chapter 137/138. Things are not simply one-dimensional-in their interpretation in AOT.
Another note, I want to highlight how broken Levi looks when mentioning that it was Hanji's idea, and then how he asks for everyone's cooperation and help later. If revenge is the 1st and only thing that comes into one's mind when seeing these panels - and not Levi heavily struggling to keep focused physically, mentally, and emotionally in the battle ahead because he is deeply injured, and has just become the last veteran, the last one carrying all the weight of thousands of devoted hearts on his back alone, and millions of people are dying because Eren and Zeke meet, and Levi just wants all that slaughter and pain and suffering to end - then...
I.don't.know. 
Levi's character is already a "I will kill monkey" meme by now. Curse it all lol
"3) Before getting onto the plane he didn't participate in battle but once he knew they were getting close to Eren's whereabouts, where Zeke probably was, he took part and don't tell me it was because he was recovering in those days while Hange and the other were fighting the Jaegerists. If we were to consider that then he needed rest till the very end of the series. He didn't need to take part in the battle"
They themselves answer their arguments while overlooking the obvious facts lol Way to purposely find reasons to shit on Levi's character. They must hate Levi for nothing lol
Well, in chapter 128-129, it has been 2 days since Levi nearly died in a thunderspear explosion. While us readers had to wait 10 - 12 months to read the chapters, to the characters it was 2 days! Levi is totally wrecked at that time, which is made even clearer at the beginning of chapter 132. And while Levi's bad hair moment is cute in chapter 127, it is also a little reminder that for a man who usually slept only 3-4 hours per day to be asking people to shut up after he had been sleeping for almost two entire days… well, Levi is definitely wrecked.
And, again, just like on chapter 33 moment, Levi is worriedly watching Hanji, his kids, Titan Shifters, and his former SC subordinates (because as SC Captain, Levi was still on top of the Survey Corps) all fight to death while he is powerless to do a thing - powerless to protect everyone. I dare anyone to look at Levi's body language here, and say he didn't want to be capable of fighting! 
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And as if not enough, Yelena also goes and rubs salt on his psychological wounds saying Humanity can't be separated from violence. Levi is being crushed from all sides just in 2 days of having to kill his 30 titanized soldiers + nearly have died + now this, and with millions of people dying meaninglessly under Colossal Titan feet because of Eren!! 
Oh, Levi definitely needed to rest until the end of the story - to be wrapped on warm blankets, cradled to sleep, with someone softly combing his hair, and calmly whispering to him that the fight was over, and that everyone was okay and safe, and that they're finally free so he could sleep how much he wanted!! But Isym said, "No, sweetie! The Titanpocalypse is here, and you better pull yourself together, and get your nearly-kissed-by-Death body into that goddamn hell after rising from the dead in three days, and save everyone's asses - making parallels with the One with whom you share your birthday date!"
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He can't even mourn Hanji's death in peace either
"4) While flying on Falco he kept saying "Where is he? Where is the beast? And kept remembering Erwin's orders. Doesn't that sound like a simp to you?" 
That's what we get when the only remaining adult who is not actively engaged on the physical battle to rescue Armin is trying to do something useful despite being nearly incapacitated on a Flying Titan's back (*sighs*).
I don't blame anyone for thinking whatever they think Levi looks like in this part though. This is the moment Levi has to reflect about his and the SC's role, and this also has to do with his matter regarding Zeke and Erwin and the vow indeed.
Levi believed in Hanji's theory that the Rumbling - which was about to crush the rest of humanity right under Levi's sight - was going to stop once Zeke was killed, but I definitely can see from where it comes the "Levi is obsessed with killing Zeke for Erwin's order from 4 years ago". The drawing and Levi's words are all in front of our eyes. Moreover, it's to Erwin (person) that Levi makes the vow to, and in a position where he is clearly set as a Knight making an oath to his King. And at the same time it's interesting that Levi remembers Erwin tired, the lights of his eyes dead, and when he looks up at him, Erwin isn't free as Levi remembered when he saved Armin during serum bowl. If anything, it's the first time Levi feels like he has failed his duty, disappointed his Commander, and imagines a dead person expecting something from him.
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But the more I reread Levi's chapters (80, 81, 112, and 136), the more I feel like Levi's take towards the vow is multilayered. Killing Zeke has been one of the focus of Levi's narrative since chapter 75, where Erwin says he just trusts Levi to kill the Beast, and this got to another level along the years/story/chapters, especially after chapters 80-81, 112, 113. And, boy, Levi's devotion to fulfill a promise to the dead was his ultimate shackle - the biggest curse of his life, in a way.
But just like everything else Yams does when dealing with human nature, I don't think the vow can be solely understood as a plain "I'll kill the Beast Titan". It’s part of it, but not it all? Or maybe it's just me struggling to comprehend how Levi succumbed to the danger of being drunk on something that Kenny had warned him in his dying bed. Levi hellbent on fulfilling Erwin's last order as his duty (as he addresses the topic on 136) makes absolutely more sense to me than just revenge.
Still, at the very end, as strong as Levi's unwavering will to give meaning to all SC deaths, he helped humanity have a chance of survive at all because it was the right thing to do. I particularly feel like it is a reduction of Levi whenever he is frequently marked as a man who fulfilled a promise to his Commander rather than also praising ALL aspects that encompasses it. Levi's devotion to his duty, his sense of responsibility, his inhuman willpower to keep fighting even after nearly losing everything is incomparable. And this belongs to Levi's character in such a broader way. That's why he is Humanity’s Strongest after all!!
Another point people forget is that killing Zeke doesn't give meaning to the SC devoted hearts. It might have helped stop the Rumbling, but that's not enough - never was, and never would be worth their sacrifices. Levi also makes it very clearly in 139. The Titans are gone, the nightmare is over, humanity is free and not all doomed to die eaten alive or stomped powerless = "I guess this is the result of all of your devoted hearts". At most, killing Zeke is Levi finally breaking free from a curse that lasted way too long, and Levi held no personal triumphant satisfaction with it - just the damned realization this shit was finally over, forever.
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Another poignant matter is that it was thanks to Erwin and the recruits' sacrifices that Paradis could learn about the truth of the World - the most crucial matter at stake at that moment. And the RtS victory allowed for the Island to be freed of the horror of the Titans. Yet, Levi rejects this huge fact as enough to be worth the devoted hearts. I can’t imagine how getting Zeke’s head alone would ever be comparable, or superior, to all that the SC had accomplished until they got the brats to the sea. Unless, ofc, Levi's narrative is really supposed to be the "Revenge-Avenge" Tragic Hero...
Then, if considering this idea is a part of him, it's interesting to remember too that Levi knows Zeke killed Mike, Nanaba, and the Ragako Village; and that Levi chose to send around a hundred people to their death in the Beast's hand so that Humanity inside the Walls could survive; and that the massacre on Marley was orchestrated by Zeke mostly (bc Eren doesn't have the brains for it), and that Zeke titanized Levi's soldiers in the forest... Then it makes sense Levi also had assumed to be his role to guarantee Zeke wouldn't get out of this all in impunity for all the deaths he had committed. But there is still a difference between revenge, punishment, and retributive justice.
Levi knows, though, what Grisha did to Zeke, and he had a brief idea what Zeke lived in Marley, and must have imagined how Zeke was used as Beast Titan for years in Marley wars, and what Zeke ultimately wanted to do when Yelena asked Hanji and everyone to admit Zeke’s plan was better. I really wanted to see what happened in chapter 132, when Levi reflects about Yelena's words, and hearing Hanji blaming herself/taking responsibility for Eren's downfall, and saying she was powerless. But thank you, Yams, for leave me hanging on this too 🙃
Anyway, in chapter 136, Levi has a lot to cover of his and SC's narratives in the brief 03-04 pages he is given. And imo, it goes as the one chapter I wanted Yams himself talking about just for the sake of full understanding. But we're probably never getting it, so at this point, everyone will take Levi's words and actions however they want - from reduced to a simp who just fought to kill monkey to get revenge from the man Levi himself chose to let die (and *cough* had no regrets about it *cough*) up to Humanity’s Strongest soul and last bearer of the Wings of Freedom, with a unmatched devoted heart.
However, blessed be the new OP!! I think the nihilism and despair and desperation and tears are setting even more clear the state of the last events of snk. Scratch the stupid ass shipper interpretation of that moment, and focus on Levi's journey with SC's devoted hearts in a world bathed on blood, death, and meaninglessness. Hopefully, it and the animation will help dissipate the mist over Levi's character too.
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Yes, it's raining tears
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bondsmagii · 3 years ago
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I don't really get this entire discussion about therapy. The entire point of it is that you should go if you need it; ie. if whatever is affecting you has started to affect other parts of your life, you are unable to function as you would like to, and cannot handle it by yourself.
If you have shit going on but have your own ways to deal with it/are okay with them/it's not impacting your life, then that's not a bug it's a feature?
What I mean is both that if you go to a therapist and they don’t listen to your needs, they suck, change them. And that no one should be trying to send you there if you don't have a need for it anyway.
on the surface it is a pretty simple thing: if you want to try it go ahead, and if you don't/you feel you don't need it, then don't. unfortunately, it's a lot more complicated than that.
for a start, over the years it's become common and even expected that people seek out therapy as a first option, and also the encouragement to go to therapy is incredibly prevalent and accepted. it's treated as this one size fits all solution to everyone's problems, and it's assumed that if you don't go to therapy, you either don't want to put the effort in or you're not really fucked up. it's also resulted in this attitude where criticism of therapy is seen as "anti-recovery", and is very often invalidated or shut down -- which is incredibly insensitive to the people out there who have been harmed by the psychiatric community. the idea that therapy might be bad for some people is almost forbidden to discuss, and people who are pro-therapy get incredibly defensive over the mere thought that somebody might not be supportive of therapy. I've said it before and I'll say it again -- therapy is a medical procedure. you wouldn't recommend random people on Tumblr go and get a certain surgery based off a couple of posts they made, so why people think they can encourage/recommend therapy to strangers, I have no idea.
going on from this, the idea of therapy (and psychiatry in general) is incredibly flawed for several reasons. the main one is the complete pathologising of all behaviours and "abnormalities", and the idea that every single thing about a person that stands out is a symptom of something. for a start, some people are not interested in viewing their experiences and reality as Symptoms of something outside of themselves that needs to be fixed or brought into line, instead of as part of the whole sum of themselves. but also, this is a completely impractical view to have on the scope of human experience. as soon as you begin putting things in a box, you create a "right" way and a "wrong" way to do things. as soon as somebody deviates from the "right" way -- so for example, showing an unexpected symptom, or experiencing a symptom in a way not unlike the majority of others -- there's immediate room for suspicion (they're faking!) or deviation (they can't have [illness that up until now everyone was sure of]! it must be something else!). both of these give way for harm to be done, because in both instances the person will not get the care they need. the habit of putting everything into neat boxes also encourages gatekeeping, and the idea that somebody cannot possibly be experiencing life in the way they say they are because it doesn't match up exactly to somebody else's experiences is absolutely ridiculous. yet the psychiatric field encourages this, and genuinely believes that putting everyone in boxes is totally feasible. it's so restricting, and it isn't a practical way to look at life.
there's also the fact that people tend to have the ultimate faith in therapy/therapists to fix things. but the psychiatric field is incredibly flawed -- and if I'm honest with you, in a few areas they're completely backwards. there are things that they won't even accept or consider, and there's a lot of misuse of power, either intentional or as a consequence, that isn't spoken about. there's an inherent power imbalance between a patient and their therapist, and there's also an extreme taboo regarding a patient knowing anything about what's wrong with them. a lot of therapists wouldn't take kindly to a patient wishing to explore a certain option, nor to disagreements or "uncooperativeness" -- which is very often a patient stating that a technique/medication isn't right for them, or advocating for themselves in a way the therapist personally disagrees with (so for example, reporting certain symptoms that should be "impossible" with what the therapist thinks they have, or insisting that they're not traumatised by something the therapist thinks they should have been). while of course there are many, many people who benefit from many different types of therapy, there are also many, many people out there who have been hurt, abused, further traumatised, and even become more sick because of therapy. and a not insignificant portion of these people have been encouraged into therapy by pro-psych influences who will not even consider for a moment that there's anything to criticise about the system.
there's also the fact that there's a prevalent habit, especially online, of telling people that all they have to do to access this wonder tool is "find the right therapist". but why is the responsibility on the patient to ensure they don't get mistreated or abused by somebody with a lot of power and influence over them? "finding the right therapist" is fine if you're looking for somebody who specialises in a certain area, but "find the right therapist for you!" shouldn't be the advice given when the thing being requested is simply for a therapist to believe you when you state your reality. if we can't even get over the first hurdle of being believed and our existence being accepted, then the time has come for some serious improvements to be made.
so the question of therapy is less about "if you like it, try it; if you don't, don't" and more about "psychiatry is inherently incompatible with life and is wholly impractical, and while some elements of it work for some people, the whole thing is rooted in ideas that are not practical to encourage and that cause untold amounts of harm in the whole of society. yet it is still viewed almost entirely uncritically and is encouraged across the board, with the assumption that those refusing are just being difficult or anti-recovery or were never really fucked up to begin with".
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faeriefics · 3 years ago
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Greetings Tumblr~
First off, can I just say that I'm very excited to be biting the bullet and finally turning to Tumblr as an outlet for getting out my thoughts, feelings, and utter, raving excitement towards the wonderful characters of the LOTR and (especially) the Hobbit universe.
A little about me: I've been an avid written roleplayer since I was a wee twelve to thirteen-year-old English girl with bad braces and an obsession for almost every fandom I consumed (where I wrote so badly that, literally, the only way was up) - I mainly used the site 'Quotev', but as my writing skills developed, I started shifting more towards writing very long paragraph-style chunks, which was not always conducive for person-to-person story building unless the other individual was like-minded.
So, I thought, why not turn to write on a scale where I drive the plot? Where I decide outcomes and character development? Where I can choose to write as much as I want for whoever would like to read it?
I couldn't think of a reason not to - as not only do I love writing with a passion, but I've been something of a lurker on this site for years, and I wanted to get more involved in the fandom.
I have an idea for a series in the works now, in fact, for a Fili x Faerie!OC that I think (and hope) might turn out to be engaging and fun, and I'd like for it to turn into a multiple part slow burn - but I'll see where I go with it. It's still bare bones in development and I'm trying to avoid writer's block! But I can almost guarantee that it will be 18+ only, as I do feel very comfortable writing smut, and as such I would very much prefer and request for 18+ viewers only to engage and view this space!
As for requests and ideas, for the moment, I definitely have a preference for writing for characters in The Hobbit. Specifically, I feel best prepared to write specific headcanons and longer imagines for (in only slightly preferential order because Fili makes me feel things, but truly I love the majority of them): Fili, Kili, Thorin, Bofur, Dwalin, and I'd definitely be interested to delve into the elves and other characters! I'd also be happy to answer requests for the entire company! As such, of course, I hope to offer reader inserts (and gender-neutral reader inserts, where I will try my very best to keep the reader's gender and skin tone as neutral as I can, but if I ever do slip up on this please, please let me know. Inclusion is so important to me and I'd hate to, however unintentionally, leave people out of the narrative). Additionally, this is a safe space, and I am always open to LGBTQ+ requests, discussions, or anything else really!
So, I think this might be everything for now! I hope this chunk of text hasn't put anyone off my work already lol - I promise I'm more literate and easily understood when writing a story, but I wanted to say a friendly little official hello to tumblr before I start posting or reblogging - and any advice or tips for starting up would be very much appreciated!!
And even though they don't know me (because I was an extremely shy anon who read and heart reacted from afar), I would like to say a very big thank you to @laurfilijames @legolaslovely and @middleearthpixie - I've been such a big fan of all of your work for quite a while now, and honestly, I'm such a fangirl that I'm legitimately blushing right now as I write this - you've all been such huge inspirations towards me taking this next step! You're all so talented - and if I manage to produce writing that's even half as good as yours, I'll be very proud indeed.
~ faeriefics.
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countessofbiscuit · 4 years ago
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What are your Bobasoka headcanons? I've already gone through all of the (criminally little) fic on ao3 and I especially loved Smothered and Covered, and I saw the majority of the fics in the tag were gifted to you so I'm assuming you're the OG shipper. Feel free to essay if you like!!
Thanks for the ask and kind words about that fic :3 
Oh, Bobasoka … where to begin? It’s a pairing that’s been bumping around in exchange requests for a few years — I figure it’d be easy for anyone invested in Ahsoka’s relationship with the clones to be compelled by the idea. Lledra used to draw Boba and Ahsoka interacting, and it was probably a few panels of their incredible Destinies comic that set my Bobasoka wheels turning. I’m also drawn to them because their journeys traverse so much canon; there’s not just a sandbox to play in, but a whole goddamn stretch of beach, stretching far out into the horizon ...  (#AhsokaLives #BobaSurvived :D)
I have to lead with the proviso that almost everything I write/daydream about/headcanon has a groundsheet of Rexsoka. Ahsoka’s interest in Boba, in my head, is intimately tied up with her attraction to and/or relationship with Rex — or, at the bare minimum, her intimate fellowship with the clones. She went through puberty (maybe with heats!) surrounded by a literal army of handsome, roughly college-aged dudes; that must’ve been a heady mix of heaven and hell. If she didn’t quench her thirst before war’s end and her (eventual) separation from Rex, she’d probably be pretty dehydrated when stumbling across Boba. As for Boba’s attraction to Ahsoka, well ... she’s very pretty, she’s potentially useful, she’s not likely to skewer him in his sleep (+2) on account of being a Jedi (-1), and now she’s the one down on her luck; if he falls in bed with anyone, why not this girl who isn’t afraid of him and stares a lot at his lips?                         
And Boba is like a hot shipping potato — satisfying, hard to fuck up, goes well (read: makes for an intriguing story) with almost everyone. And I think it has everything to do with his liminality, something he shares with Ahsoka and probably recognizes.          
Their neither-this-nor-that-ness overlap in such interesting ways, and they each bring their identity issues to the table — Ahsoka as an on-again, off-again Jedi; Boba as a clone who isn’t a Clone™, a Mandalorian by birth and bearing, but not by the book. At different points in their stories, they identify as different things, and that would affect their headspace and color their view of the other. They wrestle with themselves and each other. Force-user and bounty hunter; privileged topsider and orphaned juvenile delinquent fugitive; GAR commander and outcast clone; Jedi and Mandalorian; Disillusioned veteran and disaffected army brat; Rebellion agent and Imperial contractor.
And as much conflict is baked into these dynamics, it also generates a certain magnetism; and I believe they recognize, on some level, their shared trauma and the symmetry in their experiences. Boba and Ahsoka both have happy childhoods with very little to distress or vex them (beyond the art, I do not jive with Age of Republic: Jango Fett, a Disney-canon comic that not only doubles-down on the Jango-wasn’t-Mando nonsense, but shows him being rather cavalier about Boba’s life); Geonosis happens and their adolescent lives are dominated by war (which is how they came to actively threaten each other as space!secondary-schoolers — whaaaaatf!); they are both dubiously (even wrongfully) imprisoned; and they both suffer alienation and incredible personal loss.  
Boba was set apart from the clones before he was even pulled him from the jar, othered and elevated from the beginning. He never bonded with brothers, he does not identify as a clone. And while there are examples of clones making overtures to him, canonically his relationship with them is fraught and probably made worse when he gets banged up in Republic Central at the tender age of eleven or twelve — and of course, Ahsoka is an accessory to this, the second chapter in his tragedy at the hands of the Jedi. He needed help (whether he wanted it or not), it was not given by clones or Jedi alike (hamstrung by bureaucracy, sure, but surely some other means of intervention might have been lobbied for?), and Boba becomes a right teenage disaster, well-balanced only in the sense that he has a chip on both shoulders.
(n.b. Putting my RepComm hat on for a second, I can’t help but sniffle-laugh at the idea that the Alphas watched him get thrown in a maximum-security slammer and were like “Ah, there he is, the feral vod’ika. First time, we’ll let the little snot earn his stripes. Second time, we’ll bust him out and send him on a tough love retreat with A’den or Jaing.”)
Ahsoka, meanwhile, is part-and-parcel of the institutions that Boba sets himself against, even after she too has been cast out by circumstances beyond her control. She grows up in a supportive Jedi community and then spends some seriously formative years with a whole slew of brothers — brothers that should have been Boba’s! 
Boba, on the other hand, is a great example of the proverb that a child who is not embraced by the village will burn it down to feel its warmth. (As he tells Hondo, “Why should I help anybody? I’ve got no one.”) 
The resentment that must create! But also, later, the quiet empathy too — maybe when Boba’s having one of his better days and Ahsoka’s obviously not. 
And all of the above is interesting enough, without also touching upon the wildcard that is Mandalore.
Boba’s relationship with Mandalore .... well, that’s contested in- and out-of-universe and I won’t allow myself to essay overmuch. I subscribe firmly to a Mandalorian Fetts construction of canon, even though Boba must be someone who struggles mightily with Mandalorian identity. He’s raised by a bona fide Mando, a solicitous, loving father who’d have no reason not to pass on his language and beliefs; but at the same time, it takes that village, and when Boba’s clan of two is shattered, he has no one else. The loss of his dad unmoors him from his only anchor to Mandalorian culture and clan.
If Boba had been close to the Cuy’val Dar, one would think he’d have turned to them rather than fall in with Jango’s criminal acquaintances; or maybe the bounty hunters just scooped him up first, and troubled lil’ Boba was shepherded through bereavement by folks who enabled and encouraged him to externalize his anger in a way that gave him a (false) feeling of agency and strength. 
Whatever the reasons, Boba does not repatriate himself to Mandalore (much to Fenn Shysa’s melodramatic dismay). He strikes me as a lapsed Mandalorian; he doesn’t exactly follow the creed besides wearing the armor (scavenged? his dad’s sans helmet? canon is confused on this point, but he doesn’t go Mando until the unfinished arcs at the end of TCW, either for lack of stature, lack of armor, or lack of enthusiasm). I feel like if someone rocked up to Boba in a cantina and had the balls to ask “hey, so you a Mandalorian?” Boba would be like “<ominously slow helmet tilt> who’s asking” and never give you a straight answer.
Meanwhile, Ahsoka gets a crash course on Mandalore from none other than someone who, at one point, belonged to a sect that wanted to expunge Jaster’s legacy from the galaxy — and at the very least, had reason to dislike clones. This isn’t the place to explore my Boba/Bo-Katan feelings, but know that they are fathomless, and I would pay good money to be a fly on the wall of that Kom’rk when Bo-Katan gives Ahsoka Mando History 101 with her own special sauce. Ahsoka is probably more up-to-speed on Mandalore than Boba, and at one point, she may even own more beskar than him! (n.b. After the crash, I think one of the first places Rex and Ahsoka bounce is just inside Mando space, to scope out the Sundari situation and maybe try to scramble a signal to Bo-Katan; she’d have the goodwill to at least get them back on their feet if she can’t help them lay low herself. For a variety of reasons worth maybe ficcing down the line, they aren’t successful.)
I don’t really have a concluding statement except, I just think Bobasoka’s neat :) They hit all my depressed-Millennial buttons.
Headcanon by bullet-point isn’t really my style, but this is tumblr so ... tl;dr:
They recognize a lot in each other, even if they’re slow to admit it, if ever. Boba’s a cagey bastard and Ahsoka doesn’t ever like him enough to be emotionally honest.
They bump into each other during Ahsoka’s walkabout(s) ‘cause Coruscant’s Underworld ain’t big enough for the two of them. Without Slave-1, Boba couchsurfs at Nyx Okami’s garage, but he does his laundry at Rafa’s. He might even borrow the Martez’s new, useful friend for a job or two. 
Ahsoka eventually matures enough to be sensitive about her use of the Force on and around clones, and she definitely doesn’t use it around Boba. Definitely not during sex.
Boba is privately weirded out every time Ahsoka uses Mando slang she picked up off the clones or the Nite Owls.
Boba absolutely kills Cad Bane in that shoot-out, keeps the hat, and lets Ahsoka have it. She shoves it out the airlock and uses it for target practice. 
So many great smut flavours! Hatesex. Acquaintances with benefits. “You’re traumatized and touch-starved and you look just like him/them, and I know how to be gentle and what to do, so maybe we could … ?” They’re both privately comfortable with their bodies and sexuality, but Boba’s got trust issues a parsec long and Ahsoka’s lost confidence; it’s always an awkward affair, but desperation wins out.
They exchange comm codes every time they run into each other, which is kind of pointless because they both use burners.
Ahsoka hitches a ride on Slave-1 more than once. There really is only one bed, so it’s either sleep upright, sleep in a pokey prisoner hold, or sleep with him.
For a few years, Boba can pass as a last-generation clone — the ones that got sold off in bulk units to slavers before Kamino sunk another three years’ food, board, and training into them. Boba pretends he doesn’t notice, easy to really, since he tells himself his helmet is his face. But occasionally, when Ahsoka can convince him there’s profit in it, he agrees to play sleeper agent and assists in liberating a few here and there. 
They don’t talk about Aurra Sing.
When an Imp really crosses him, Boba passes on intel to Ahsoka to ruin their day.
Once, when they’re both super skint, Ahsoka volunteers to get handed in to some relatively minor and out-of-the-way Imperial garrison, so Boba can collect, bust her out, and split the pot with her. It’s the closest she ever comes to telling him “I trust you” — and when he brushes the idea aside, citing something about risk, it’s the closest he ever comes to telling her “I love you.”
Boba sees Inquisitors as muscling in on his game. There are so many lousy Force-users around nowadays, it should be easy pickings, but Inquisitors get privileged information. So he makes sport out of misdirecting them, especially from Ahsoka. 
When he pisses her off, Ahsoka fantasizes about Bo-Katan taking Boba down a peg or two while she watches :)))
Boba experienced Ahsoka’s heat once, secondhand through a cabin wall. He thought he was being clever by shooting Rex up with some Nevoota stim pollen, locking him in with Ahsoka, and hijacking their locked ships. Longest three days of his life, limping on broken hyperdrives and shared fuel stores to the nearest waystation to a soundtrack of violent lovemaking : \
Bounty hunters invariably bump into spies and agents because they work in the same areas. The agents pretend to be bounty hunters, eccentric business people, sex workers, or a range of other things. Sometimes each party knows all about the other, but it’s only polite not to mention it. This happens to Ahsoka and Boba A LOT, especially once she becomes Fulcrum; rebel cells and Imperials often want the same people. Occasionally they exchange fire. A couple times Boba gets imprisoned in Ahsoka’s own brig. Once, Boba blows her cover and definitely lives to regret it. 
(this essay was originally punctuated with pics, but replies with images won’t show up tumblr tags so ¯\_(ツ)_/¯) 
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phenomenalcosmicpowers · 3 years ago
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In a recent post on I Dream of Twilight Sparkle I said that I noticed asks that were not in my inbox the last time I decided to read through my entire ask box. So I did the same for my mod blog. And while there were some also that I didn't see before. Most are questions I feel either I feel like I may have already sufficiently answered enough with my thoughts on an episode and/or it'd be weird at this point to answer something that's obviously years after the fact.
But there is two I found that I feel like I may want to respond to. The person who sent it was someone who used to discuss the show with me almost all the time, though obviously they must no longer be on Tumblr as all their blogs are deactivated. But I still want to answer since it is sort of relevant to recent stuff. Particularly in their 2nd ask.
By the way, I'm always open to questions on the show or even non-pony topics here on my modblog. I still do love talking about G4 ponies and I wouldn't mind some questions if any of you would like to know my opinion on anything. Now that the show has been over for nearly 2 years , I can have a perspective on many topics about Friendship is Magic that I wouldn't mind sharing. Maybe some things have changed here and there, though I think I still generally have a positive attitude towards most things for certain. I stuck with the show until the very end, and was satisfied with how it ended. And I still have interest in doing more in G4's world even as G5 approaches. (Though I'm sure perhaps once that movie has aired that may be the focus of any questions sent here)
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((My answer and more after the break))
For the most part, I think I still generally agree with what I said in my initial thoughts about the Season 6 finale. It's a solid episode with some great interactions between Starlight, Trixie, Discord, and Thorax. Though the way the ending is executed is a bit of a headscratcher. Maybe somewhat less so since thinking about it now, like even if Chrysalis did keep some things loyal. What would stop them from eventually seeing what Thorax's changelings did shortly after.
But I suppose I wanted to answer this mostly about Starlight. Since while the Season 6 finale made HomerJ get over some remaining feelings about Starlight. I'll admit it took literally until writing Secrets of the Dragon's Tear (A year after the show was over) to realize the sort of potential that Starlight had. The baggage from the Season 5 finale always felt like a cloud above her for the entire rest of the show's run. And I consider Season 6's largest mistake is not trying harder to endear us to Starlight. That's what that season's entire job was, to try to make us feel a little better of how rather rushed Starlight's redemption was by giving us a more expanded look into Starlight's character. And unfortunately, I feel like it failed at that in my opinion. Thus I basically disagree (Though respect the opinion of) with those who would say the Season 6 finale was when Starlight finally won them over.
Don't get me wrong, I like how Starlight is portrayed in the episode. But it would of been stronger if say the season had explained more about Starlight's past. How did Starlight get her cutie mark, and given her opinion on Cutie Marks how did she feel at the time?
Instead, we mostly just got Starlight reuniting with Sunburst that didn't exactly give any more details to her rather vague reasons for turning to darkness from him moving away other then finding out Sunburst's personality and how his side of the story went. And from there we had Starlight befriend Trixie... in an episode I still don't really like to this day.
Ironically, the character in the Hearth's Warming episode that casts Starlight as the story's version of Scrooge (Snowfall Frost) is given more reason to sympathize with then Starlight herself.
Starlight then just about disappears up until the episode that introduces Thorax. Where she doesn't do much other then be among the crowd that Spike has to convince that Thorax is not evil.
The next time we see her is Every Little Thing She Does. Which is something of a controversial ep from what I hear, though ironically despite my skepticism of Starlight at the time. I actually sort of liked that episode since it was basically Starlight's own Lesson Zero. Though I get why Starlight deciding to hypnotize all the Mane 6 besides Twilight against their will would not be approved of. Though it does feel like at the very least Twilight and the rest give her enough of a piece of their mind at the end.
And that's how things stood before the Season 6 finale happened. Even though I do think Starlight has good moments in said finale, nothing earlier in the season really dispelled many of my feelings about the Season 5 finale's ending. So despite a good showing, I could hardly care for it. I wasn't convinced yet we were given a satisfactory answer about the many questions that Starlight's sudden redemption prompted.
Another part of my thoughts I feel still applies is when I mentioned that Starlight's a "Diet Sunset Shimmer" (Which considering what I did to link the two for SOTDT, is a bit funny in hindsight). It took just one movie (Rainbow Rocks) for the fanbase to turn a 180 on Sunset. While an entire season with Starlight as one of the good guys goes by and she remained just as divisive as before if not more so by the end of Season 6.
Come Season 7, and Starlight appears quite a bit more often though under the assumption that the Season 6 finale was enough to warm you up to her. There were many complaints during the first half of Season 7 that she was appearing more then she should (Even in an Equestria Girls special where she got to meet the character she was so often compared to). Though another thing about Starlight in Season 7 in hindsight is besides from her meeting a few more friends like Maud. Starlight isn't actually given much to actually work towards. They dropped the whole student aspect so it's not like she was doing friendship lessons under Twilight anymore (Though I suppose on the bright side for the detractors, it lessened worries about her becoming an Alicorn). Season 8 and 9 does somewhat fix that by having Starlight employed at the school, first as a counselor and ultimately ending with her as the school's Principal as Twilight herself got promoted to sole ruler. Which I'm still unsure about if fans of her character feel that was a proper ending for her. Though probably the best that could of been done in context of not much having been done with her over time.
Still, at least for me personally it felt there was alot missing about Starlight and as time went on it became obvious I wasn't going to get the satisfactory answers about her that I wanted. So as a result, I only had lukewarm reactions when a new Starlight episode was coming up. It also didn't help that there were two episodes that raised my hopes of at least one interesting aspect that would of been cool to see. The first being the episode "All Bottled Up" which I had hoped would mean it would be an episode that's somewhat genie related. And then there was Road to Friendship where Starlight and Trixie try to travel to Saddle Arabia (which is an important location in I Dream of Twilight Sparkle)... and yet never actually get there. So even on the few times that I was hoping to be excited about a Starlight episode, it dropped the ball. Partly my fault for getting so hyped about something that wasn't promised, but I would of loved to at least SEEN canon Saddle Arabia.
I'd never say that I hated Starlight back during the show's run. But she was a frustrating character for certain back then. I couldn't hate Starlight as much as some others did, but at the same time I couldn't like her as much as others. She was in likability limbo. For every fun and or good moment that included her, it's brought right back by either lingering problems that arised from the Season 5 finale or otherwise dropping the ball in some way.
In some ways, she's still a frustrating character. Though that's just how it'll always be with the canon Starlight. It's up entirely now to fanon to give their approach on Starlight that was never done in Canon. With SOTDT, I obviously did a bit of a "Fine, I'll do it myself" when it comes to making Starlight a more satisfactory character for me. Though I'm sure there are many interpretations that are vastly different from how I approached it that can satisfy others and probably be more popular and better written then mine. (My interpretation might be understandably controversial just for Starlight being put back on a path where she'll likely become an Alicorn eventually. Something Starlight detractors feared the most. Though I think I at least try to explain as best I could that makes sense with the story, her cutie mark moment being similar to Twilight's, and the identity of her mother. And I myself sort of feared Starlight becoming an Alicorn might happen, so for me to actually write it so that it might be inevitable. That's just how much of a 180 I've taken on Starlight because of writing SOTDT)
I think I mentioned this before, but I can pretty much say that in a way that I can actually say I like Starlight now. But sort of in a "FiM's biggest missed opportunity" sort of way that it becomes sort of sad to look at how canon Starlight was done. Rather then me simply shrugging her off back when I didn't care so much about her. I also understand it's a bit cheating to say I like Starlight now after doing my own sort of fanfic that had her in a major role since that might be me tooting my own horn a bit.
Though I will say as much as necessary that I am very aware alot of what happens in SOTDT would have been impossible to do in canon and I don't plan on pushing what I did to expand on Starlight's backstory as gospel. It only applies to what I'm doing on the blog, I will not be making a case that my interpretation is the only correct one. I'd actually welcome seeing some different interpretations on things such as who Starlight's mother is, what they feel her past was like outside of the Sunburst leaving incident, and/or especially how Starlight originally got her cutie mark. (I've even said my personal guess is different then how I did it in SOTDT, as my guess is she got it the first time she discovered the cutie mark removal spell). Cause if nothing else, I've realized Starlight is a very interesting character that I think would be fun to explore all the possibilities with. It certainly could be something for those still on the G4 train to talk with one another about.
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thewheezingbubbledragon · 5 years ago
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It has occurred to me that Tumblr can be a void with friends so my problems arent unheard, but they are out I my head
Hey howdy poodle, it's me, snickerdoodle.
What's good my fellows.
Compadres.
Amigos.
Frendos.
Frens.
Howdy.
I am very glad you exist.
Thank you for existing and caring for me.
I love you so much.
Bless you.
Thank you.
I am coming down from a 12 hour panic attack/mental shutdown/depressive episode where I was nonverbal for 8.5 hours, and when I finally started calming down I had to speak with people and stand up and walk and make food for 2 hours. So all in all. Not great.
But better.
Anywho, so There Is A Reason for my inactivity.
I mean, there are several, but theyre all highly personal and meh.
So my fam and I spent the last.. 2 months? Or more? Moving 1800 miles across the country. We have 99% of all our stuff in one (1) storage unit that is still at our old town. (We took 1 suitcase and several bags of our stuff. That is it. For months or maybe even a year. Clothes and stuff included.) I had to leave my desktop BUT I have a laptop.
I mean it's literally held together by tape and can't be unplugged and overheats faster than Satan's flambe kitchen in high summer, but it works and I can write so it's mostly good I guess?
And I have my (bad and outofservice) phone, AND ALSO AN AMAZING TABLET SOME FRIENDS COLLABORATED AND BOUGHT FOR ME AND I CAN DRAW ON IT AND I ALREADY HAVE SO MANY PICTURES I CANNOT WAIT TO POST THEM RKSLDNNFJSLSMJFKSLSKDBJDJSKSNDJPAMAJEK
But.
We... Kinda have been living in a hotel for... What, 9? Days? Bc my parents cant find a place to move to in the city we're in, and the fact I am basically Tiny Tim with art skills and a good leg doesnt help...
Anyways.
Tumblr is a silly fun way to escape reality but I dont have the energy or mental capacity or time to respond to people if they tag me (unless it's 1 sentence or less but that is still pushing it) or write or anything or even post.
I havent been sleeping well, (lol thanks asthma, allergies, depression, anxiety, insomnia, and altitude y'all are doin amazing) and I had to leave my entire irl friendgroup back home. A lot of them dont have Instagram or ways for me to contact them aside from texting.
We moved to my previous home when I was very small, but it took me almost 12 years to finally feel like I was home. And that was because of the people I met and cherished and loved. I finally had a support network.
And then I got the news we were moving 1800 miles away.
I have left the life i've spent 12 years rebuilding. Heyhey, depression when did you get here? 16 years ago? Dandy.
Long story short, i've been through all the stages of grief already but I'm still on shakey ground. (The anger stage was the fastest? Bc I dont get angry? Except at people who are genuinely bad or disrespectful towards their audience for no reason other than petty revenge or ego. I'm talking about Thomas Austruc, in case it wasnt obvious. Friggin Miraculous...) I accepted what happened, and have accepted it since about 2 weeks after I heard. I accept and adjust to things quickly and easily. Doesnt mean I like it, but I can and do adjust my mindset and lifestyle to the winds of life.
Kinda sucks at times tbh.
Bc my brain shoves the whole messy business of 'processing' side to acknowledge and move on.
Anyways, that's not the point.
Point is, I am mentally royally screwed atm. I am not medicated for any I my issues, (ADD, major depression, multiple severe anxiety issues, to name just a few of the 'nom-physical' issues) which means life is about a billion times harder to exist in. So in short: my online status will be steady but my posts? Only time will tell.
I would like to apologize for everyone who follows me @un-romancible-npc for my Chance Maribat MariDami/Daminette AU, I am working on it, but I'm also aware of my own issues right now. And I can get about... 500 words a week at the most? Because we're so busy and I'm studying for my driver's test (several years late sadly but when you can barely afford food every month it isnt as much of a concern. Dont worry, we're better off now but it's still a struggle.) and organizin everything at home, and looking after my 2 younger siblings and my big bro, who is currently practically bed-ridden and puking his guts out. Basically... I am very sorry but I cant work on it. I CAN get a snippet out once I finish the freaking 'Mari meets everyone in the lobby' scene. I havr almost 3k words for that and some stuff that follows but the friggin LOBBY SCENE I SWEAR TO PASTA--
Anyways.
Yeah.
That's why I've been gone...
HEY HOWDY HEY NOW IT'S TIME TO TAG EVERYONE I LOVE VERY MUCH AND CANNOT COMMUNICATE WITH PROPERLY BC I'VE BEEN BUSY BUT I READ ALL YOUR POSTS AND LOVE YOU VERY MUCH THANK YOU FOR TAGGIN ME IN ALL THE STUFF I LOVE YOU AND YOU'RE ALL GORGEOUS / HANDSOME / STUNNING AND I LOVE YOU
@rogueinkglitch
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@im-here-for-the-content
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@kceedraws
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@da-tasuky
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@lady-charinette
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@hetalia-lover-is-here
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IF I'VE FORGOTTEN YOUR BLOG NAME I SINCERELY APOLOGIZE KNOW I STILL LOVE YOU I JUST CANNOT REMEMBER NAMES
I WOULD FORGET MY OWN NAME IF PEOPLE DIDNT CALL ME BY IT ALL THE TIME
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jacksjoke · 5 years ago
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yo! i've been following your tumblr mostly just for cql because aha :^) you know how it is :^) but it's left a void in my chest. i know you rb a lot of content for other shows, so i figured i'd ask you for some recs (and the best places to watch them uwu)!! thanks so much i'd die for u
Hello anon!! I totally get you 💀 I’m gonna assume that you want me to rec BLs, so I’ll tell you only the ones that I’ve liked best and why, where I watched them, and possible trigger warnings as well for you :)
So first up is my favorite: Theory of Love
Who stars in it: Off Jumpol (as Kai) and Gun Atthaphan (as Third), aka OffGun, aka icons and best friends who we stan to this very day
Why I recommend: I adore this show for so many reasons but overall the vibe is just so good dfhkhkhj It references like a trillion rom-coms and I won’t spoil it but there is a literal montage of some classic rom-com scenes done by the main characters that is just so fucking hysterical, I cry every time. There’s also a compilation here of movie posters that they recreated to imitate some classic rom-coms as well, which made me DIE from emotions I tell you what. This show is just so funny and makes fun of itself with characters that you genuinely grow to adore. Kai is a chaotic dumb of ass bisexual and we love him in this house (as infuriating as he can be lmfao). It’s so rewatchable GOD 10/10 would recommend.
Warnings: There is no sexual abuse in the show of any kind, except for one scene that is just a kiss and very mild, so I think you’d be all good there. :)
Where to watch: I watched it on YouTube! Here’s the link to episode one part one
History3: Trapped
Who stars in it: Jake Hsu (plays Shao Fei) and Chris Wu (plays Tang Yi), aka weirdos who can’t stop laughing while filming and being dumb in general and I love that for them and me
Why I recommend: I loved it. The main couple is adorable with so much chemistry and I will be totally honest, they remind me SO MUCH of Lan Wangji and Wei Wuxian. Like on the rewatch I just did of this show, I couldn’t believe the similarities the character Shao Fei has to Wei Wuxian and his counterpart Tang Yi has to Lan Wangji. Like. When I tell you I was shook the house, I mean it. But the side couple is ALSO iconic the house and the CUTEST like if you don’t want to adopt Zhao Zi and also officiate his wedding by the show’s end, I’d be shocked dfhhkghdjkl All in all, it’s such a funny show with very tender, heartfelt moments that are to die for. This show has it all: plot twists, cops falling in love with mobsters and vice versa, a character whose goal in life is to just eat as much good food as possible… amazing.
Warnings: The show has fighting and violence but seeing as you watched The Untamed, I’m assuming you’re okay with it lol There is an instance where one character tries to rape one of the leads by drugging him, so keep an eye out for that, but I think it will be obvious because he starts to pass out and you will know whether you feel you have to skip the scene or not. He isn’t undressed, it isn’t anything remotely graphic, but he is groped by the asshole I won’t name man fuck that guy but that’s all!
Where to watch: I watched it on newasiantv, link to ep1 here
Dark Blue Kiss
Who stars in it: Fluke Gawin Caskey (Mork) and Podd Suphakorn (Sun) aka two of the most gorgeous and sweet dudes alive fdhgldfhgdk AND BL vets, New Thitipoom (Kao) and Tay Tawan (Pete)
First off: dshhgdksj If you haven’t seen Kiss Me Again or Kiss the Series you might be a little confused. Dark Blue Kiss is sort-of-a-continuation-but-not-really of those other two series, and it sort of adds to the experience if you have seen them. If you want to, just watch Kiss Me Again and I think you’ll be okay honestly; it’s just because you might want context of the characters (Pete and Kao, their friends etc.) and their relationships to one another going into Dark Blue Kiss.
Why I recommend: NOW two of the leads, Sun and Mork, have one of The Best relationships in any BL I’ve ever seen because they have real conversations and have real conflict and issues that they work to get through. Rain (Sun’s younger bro and Mork’s bestie) is an absolute delight and their story arc throughout the show is so iconic we just have to stan. I won’t get into Kao and Pete fhhkhdj because I just have Opinions on fucking w characters/relationships for the sake of drama and that’s what I think this series did to them, unnecessarily ahem But otherwise it’s funny and real and again if you dont literally love Mork and Rain and Sun by the end of it did you even watch the same show???
Warnings: There is a brief scene where one character tries to get w another who is like get tf AWAY weirdo lmfao but there is no actual abuse bc they are stopped well in time to avoid it
Where to watch: I watched Dark Blue Kiss on newasiantv as well because the episodes on YouTube tended to not get subbed as quickly as I wanted which you will understand if you watch this lmao. Here is the link to episode one of Kiss Me Again as well as a link to episode one of Kiss the Series if you feel like watchin those two beforehand
Tharntype the Series
Who stars in it: Gulf Kanawut (Type) and Mew Suppasit (Tharn) aka those two guys who you might see do a shit ton of fanservice that I diligently ignore because I hate fanservice lol This show exists in the same universe as another BL that I am reluctant to put on here lol but will get into later on.
Why I recommend: BEFORE YALL FLAY ME ALIVE djkhgldhgfdjhhkjd OKAY LISTEN genuinely, on a very real level, I FULLY understand why a lot of people here refused to watch this show or couldn’t finish it. You’re totally valid and legit I almost stopped after ten minutes because I was like here we go AGAIN. However! I was so drawn in by the acting that I wanted to give it a chance, and I’m SO GLAD that I did. Gulf and Mew, as well as Mild (who plays Techno) and Kaownah (who plays Lhong) and everyone else who acts in this show, is incredible and their chemistry is insane. I would say it’s some of the best chemistry and acting I’ve seen, BL or otherwise. You get angry at the two main characters interchangeably and I truly feel that that makes it real, you know what I mean? There is no oh he’s in the right, fuck that other guy 100% for either of them. They are both real, flawed men who grow so immensely throughout this series where by the end you’re so proud of their development and the love they find for themselves and in each other??? Because it doesn’t feel like we’ll get there, but they DO. And it’s BEAUTIFUL. We’re getting a second season, which to me is always a tad worrisome because I do think it ended very well and if they fuck with everything (cough KaoPete) just to fuck with it and stir the pot I’m gonna be Upset. But for now, it’s amazing and speaks on topics that aren’t ever addressed. It’s an unfortunate reality in BL that the way so many relationships begin is through sketchy-consensual (drunk, coerced) or flat out like non consensual sexual shit, and this show dives into the aftermath of sexual abuse, the mental impact that has on a person, and how damaging it can be if left unattended. I would give it a chance. I really do think it’s a well done series. Oh and Techno is so relatable and the only one with a brain cell in this show half the time jkdfhhdlkj
Warnings: Like I said, this show is not an easy watch at times. Very often, in fact, it can be difficult. There is homophobic language, two of the characters (I dont want to spoil everything) have been raped in the past, one as a child (which is NOT GRAPHICALLY SHOWN, don’t worry) and the other as a teenager/young adult, which is sort of shown but not in too much detail. Another character in present day “does stuff” to another that isn’t totally consensual, more than once (which is probably my biggest problem with the show and the one thing I really can’t excuse because like bro I don’t care how big your crush is, don’t be an asshole, point blank), but every other sexual thing in the show is consensual and very much wanted
Where to watch: Here is episode one on newasiantv if you want to give this a shot :)
He’s Coming to Me
Who stars in it: Singto Prachaya (Mes) and Ohm Pawat (Thun) aka just two adorable boys
Why I recommend: This show definitely has one of the more unique plots among BLs. I won’t spoil it, and as with all of these I recommend going in without looking up plots because like I know for me movie trailers etc just tell me everything and there doesn’t seem to be a point in watching the movie if I know so much beforehand. The main characters are cute together, there are funny moments and moments that make you cry. And it’s a happy ending, which we love to see :)
Warnings: There is a major character death, no blood though, and you will understand in context that it isn’t as bad as it seems right now lol Nothing that isn’t consensual, which is a miracle in these shows. Overall wholesome content. There is like a weird storyline with one of the character’s moms which was Different to say the least dfjhdflhgkjf but it didn’t ruin the show for me or anything
Where to watch: newasiantv seems to be my go-to lmao
3 Will Be Free
Who stars in it: Joss Way-Ar (Neo), Mild Lapassalan (Miw), and Tay Tawan (Shin). If you watch Dark Blue Kiss or any of those before this, you will recognize Tay and Mild as Pete and Sandee (just friends in those shows). Joss is just such a funny, sweet guy and so is Tay Lowkey biased for them and I honestly often favor TayJoss’ chemistry over TayNew, which I think is controversial lmfaoo but it has to be said lol and obviously Mild is a badass actress and talent so having her here is amazing
Why I recommend: So this is the only BL thus far to feature a polyamorous relationship, which is sort of crazy but I’m so happy it’s been done at least once now. The three have such amazing chemistry and you really grow to care for each of them as individuals as well. They’re just really awesome and I adore them and miss them every day fdjghfdglhkjd There’s also a trans actress!! :D
Warnings: There is quite a bit of gun violence bc one of the character’s father’s is a mob boss. Two side characters are killed, one much further into the show so it hurts even MORE, and one of the other side characters therefore to me doesn’t receive the ending they deserve; it was very messy and I think they deserved better. A woman is in an abusive marriage to a man, which sucked and I skipped a lot of it even though it wasn’t necessarily super violent. I just don’t like that stuff ://
Where to watch: Surprise surprise, newasiantv
Until We Meet Again
Who stars in it: Fluke Natouch (Pharm) and Ohm Thitiwat (Dean), Earth Katsamonnat (Intouch) and Nine Noppakao (Korn). Fluke and Earth invented being friends like……they are so fucking cute and they are both actually queer (have been in public relationships with men) which is always so rare to see and really great :)
Why I recommend: Side couple TeamWin is absolutely iconic. I adore them with my whole body so if for nothing else, watch it for them LMAO But for real InKorn is such a cute couple and PharmDean has a very nice relationship too; they talk about consent and have healthy communication which is so refreshing lmao
Warnings: The show does open with a double suicide by gunshot. I won’t say who, but it is in there. The two main characters have flashbacks/PTSD/nightmares (one worse than the other) which you will understand in context if you watch, but it’s definitely worth the watch
Where to watch: This show is currently airing and I watch it on YouTube; here’s the link to episode one part one
Love By Chance
Who stars in it: Perth Tanapon (Ae) and Saint Suppapong (Pete), Mean Phiravich (Tin) and Plan Rathavit (Can). This is the show that is in the same universe as Tharntype, but the actors who play Techno, Tharn, and Type are different actors in this show than from Tharntype. It’s confusing and messy lol
Warning: I’m putting this before the why I like it because I think it’s necessary for this one. I hesitate to even put LBC on here because there is so much of this show that just makes me uncomfortable. When I first watched this show, the second BL I had ever watched, I had no knowledge of BLs, the actors, or really anything to do with any of this world. So, having grown up with film/tv life where every actor is 27 playing 17, it didn’t occur to me that the actor playing 18 would in fact be 17 instead. Perth was I think 17 or possibly 18 while filming (I don’t know exact dates), which includes sexual scenes that I didn’t even feel comfortable watching BEFORE I knew his age, let alone trying to rewatch the series while knowing about it. I am 20, and was 19 last year when I watched this, so it really skeeves me out to watch those kinds of scenes (BL or otherwise) if actors or actresses aren’t at least 18 or 19. It seems weird because I’m 20 and a queer girl, not like a 50 year old pedophile or something like that, but for my own comfort I tend to skip the more explicit stuff. On my first watch, I skipped the Tharntype, TumTar, and Techno storyline because frankly I didn’t care. Going on to watch Tharntype the Series, I was even happier to have skipped so that I didn’t have to go in with a preconceived idea of the characters from having watched LBC. One of the characters in this version of events is raped or coerced into sex; I don’t even know the details because I just couldn’t be bothered to give it a chance. I firmly believe you can watch this show without watching any of their storylines (and skipping over the more sexual stuff, if you feel you have to), which I know sucks to say bc the actors are all good and I like their other work and them as people, but I just couldn’t do it. It is of course up to you.
Why I recommend: Basically I recommend this just for TinCan lmao and on the chance that you do decide to watch Tharntype, it pays at the end to have a knowledge of the LBC characters because again they are in the same universe and it won’t be as cool if you don’t get it right away like WHAT!!! You know haha so yeah There is going to be a season two dropped sometime this year, focused I believe on TinCan, so I’m literally so fucking excited. Dreams are coming true
Where to watch: I found this show on both Dailymotion and newasiantv
Hey again anon it’s been a minute dfhlhghjd I’m sure this is way longer than you thought and probably don’t want HA but I wanted to be as thorough as possible for you and anyone else who might be new here you feel So some shows I didn’t get into that I watched include Great Men Academy, Together With Me, 2Moons and 2Moons2, Love Sick, ’Cause You’re My Boy (aka My Tee), History3: Make Our Days Count, SOTUS the Series, History2: Crossing the Line, (currently airing) Why R U?, and 2gether.
If you get through the ones I talked about above and want me to talk about these other ones, I’ll do that too!! I hope this helps you and others :D ✌️ ✌️
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fortunatelylori · 6 years ago
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Hi! I apologise in advance if this question comes off as antagonistic, because I'm worried that it will, but please know that I'm genuinely curious. I've been reading some comments by you and @nothinghappensinalstonville and noticed you're both very critical of Sansa during her arguments with Jon, and seem to think he was absolutely right and she was absolutely wrong. (part 1 of 2)
My question is, can you elaborate on why – if you believe she undermines him and her advice to him is always wrong – you think she’s a good match for him, why you think they’d be a good team, why she’d be a good queen to his king? I’m sorry, my question sounds petulant even to my own ears, but I don’t mean it that way, I promise! I truly would like to hear your thoughts on why she’s good for Jon when you seem to think she’s been so wrong in all their interactions. (part 2 of 2)
Dear nonnie,
…..
I’m trying very hard to contain my frustration right now because you seem like a very nice person. However, I spend a lot of time and energy writing my posts and comments. I try, to the best of my abilities, to be fair and as objective as I possibly can and explain my point of view in detail. That takes quite a bit of thought and effort on my part so to know that, in your case at least, all of that was an utter and complete waste of time is a deeply disheartening feeling. 
To make it clear, I have no issues with people disagreeing with me or having different interpretations. Nor do I have issues with people sending me asks where they challenge my views. What I do take issue with is when my opinions are misrepresented or I’m accused of saying things I didn’t say. 
If you’re genuinely curious to find out my opinion, you could have checked out my blog before sending me this ask. I have a meta page all set up for anyone to go through and see what my opinions are. 
There is a tendency in the GOT fandom to believe that stanning a character should mean that you believe that character is above reproach, is never wrong and anyone who might disagree is not a “true fan”. By and large, the Jonsa fandom is more open to debate on the nature of characters than other groups but even in our little corner, there is a tendency to try to protect the character of Sansa from any and all criticism, mostly in relation to Jon. 
I understand the impulse to a degree. Sansa has been my favorite female character since season 1. I’ve gone on the bat defending her time and time again and I understand people being protective of her because Sansa is very much a maligned character in the rest of the fandom.
However, the way I stan characters doesn’t conform to this approach. To give you a clear example, my favorite literary character of all times is Scarlett O’Hara. That’s not because I believe she is perfect and beyond reproach but rather because of the complexities of her character that include both positive and negative traits. My liking of Sansa Stark is the same.I like characters, flaws and all and I have no problem discussing those flaws and I don’t think I should stop doing it just because fans in general are unfairly criticizing Sansa. That is not a valid argument to me. I would find it completely disingenuous and hypocritical on my part if I spent my time criticizing every other character, which I do, but stopped myself from doing it with Sansa because my opinion does not conform to the general consensus of the Jonsa/Sansa fandom or because she’s already unfairly criticized in other places. 
So, let’s get this over with: 
seem to think he was absolutely right and she was absolutely wrong
you seem to think she’s been so wrong in all their interactions.
I never said that. In this post I said the following: 
My problem with the way this whole thing is presented in the fandom is that it’s taken as a very black and white issue and people feel compelled to either defend Jon or defend Sansa.
The discourse is either:
“OMG! Look! Sansa is undermining Jon! Dark Sansa is coming, people! Alert the presses! This episode … this season … in 2035. It’s coming!“
Or
“Sansa is right. Jon is stupid. He makes decisions with his heart, instead of his head.“
Except that things are never as simple as that and it’s this type of decision that could cost you in the larger scheme of the game of thrones. Deciding whether to pardon the child of a bannerman that betrayed you could go many different ways.
And also: 
So to say that Sansa was right in this situation and Jon was wrong is oversimplifying things. It’s those kinds of decisions that a medieval king/lord is always struggling with and there is no 100% guarantee that you will make the right choice. Jon and Sansa are very young and they have a huge responsibility on their shoulders. There’s a lot you need to learn in order to be a successful ruler, and that goes for Sansa as well as Jon.
In my addendum to that post, I also said: 
I have also talked in the past, on several occasions, about Jon being a poor communicator, acting like a lone operator and blindsiding Sansa with his decisions despite them needing to act like a united front.
In a post I wrote just yesterday, I said this: 
Since season 6, Sansa has been frustrated that Jon doesn’t listen to her:
1. When she argued that he shouldn’t take Winterfell until they had enough men.
2. Before the battle of the bastards, when she warned him about Ramsay and felt that he wasn’t taking her opinion into account
3. In season 7, when she argued against his decision regarding Alys and Ned.
4. In season 7, when she felt he was paying too much attention to the NK and not enough attention to Cersei.
5. Still in season 7, when she told him not to go to Dragonstone and he blindsided her by announcing to everyone that he was, in fact, going.
So this: “this is the way he is, the way he’s always been. he never listens to me” business is a standing issue between them since the start of their relationship in season 6.
I didn’t find it strange that she would say that. She was angry and venting and she’s frustrated with Jon always doing things without talking to her or taking her opinion into account.
if you believe she undermines him 
Except I don’t believe she’s undermining him which is why I wrote an entire meta attacking the “undermining” argument that you can find here. 
In case you don’t want to bother reading all of it, here are a few excerpts: 
Now people have pointed out that, as one of his vassals, Sansa has every right to question him publicly. The problem is that’s not how Jon sees her. He very distinctly separates Sansa from the rest of his court. And since we already had the “we need to trust each other” scene at the end of season 6, I think it’s safe to assume that he sees the two of them as a unit that is supposed to be on the same page so the fact that Sansa speaks out against him in public, instead of privately, feels like a betrayal.
However, if there’s one thing you learn sooner or later, is that there are two sides to every story. That’s why it’s never a good idea to side with one party whenever couples fight.
Because if we look at things from Sansa’s perspective, you can see how she might feel dismissed. The fact of the matter is Jon isn’t the world’s greatest communicator and failed to talk his decision over with Sansa before announcing it to the Council, which in turn makes Sansa feel sidelined, hence her aggressive snark and Joffrey digs.
And that’s because the audience support is very much skewed  in  Jon’s favor. Being on tumblr, sometimes you forget that the Jonsa fam is very much the minority and that exclusive Sansa fans are the unicorns of this fandom (#love4unicorns). The vast majority of this audience will not look at Jon as an unreliable narrator, as every character in this show is, but as the ultimate authority on how this scene should be viewed.
If he says he feels undermined, then it must be because he’s being undermined, which by extension means that Sansa will betray him.
I simply believe that just like Jon, Sansa makes mistakes not only in their conversations but in her approach to certain issues, like the Alys/Ned incident. Jon and Sansa’s arguments, in my opinion, are not clear cut or black and white. There are points to be made on both sides of the debate and pretending like Sansa is completely correct and Jon is wrong is oversimplifying things, as is the reverse. I’ve already talked ad nauseam about the Alys/Ned situation. So here are a 2 other examples: 
Sansa warning Jon that they don’t have enough men  prior to the battle of the bastards: 
She is correct in that they don’t have enough men. That doesn’t change the fact that they’re stuck in the middle of freezing, wintry terrain, a fact that is brought into the plot by Davos who says Stannis lost the war primarily because of the weather, which is in fact correct. In addition to that, by that point they’ve already tried to gather up more men and were denied at almost every turn. It’s not that Jon can’t count, it’s that he doesn’t see any possibility of getting more men and is afraid that he’s going to lose the men he has if he waits. That is a valid argument. 
The reason why Sansa is so resistant is because she knows there’s the possibility of getting more men but dreads having to resort to calling the Knights of the Vale because Littlefinger comes attached to that particular deal. Jon can’t really be blamed for that since he doesn’t know. 
Sansa warning Jon that Ramsay will try to trick him: 
She is correct in her assessment of Ramsay. However her: “Don’t do what he wants you to do” isn’t going to help Jon much, is it? What does that mean? How do you build a strategy around that? She doesn’t know either. Saying that Jon should have listened to Sansa in this instance is … I mean, listen to her about what? He can do absolutely nothing with the info that Sansa provides. 
Her being angry that Jon doesn’t specifically ask for her opinion in a meeting where she is present is also, quite frankly, debatable. Could he have asked? Yes. Could she have just said what she thought instead of taking her frustration out on him in private? Also yes. 
That’s about it … These are the instances where I kind of lean  towards Jon’s point of view more than Sansa’s but also acknowledge the fact that she has reasons to say the things she says, thus making it a more complex situation than one of them being wrong and the other right. 
For those 3 instances, I am now stuck writing another extremely long post trying to defend what are not, as far as I can see, opinions that should garner this amount of controversy. 
But since now I must also atone for those opinions by proving just how much I love Sansa, here is the list of reasons why I believe they’re a good match and she’ll make a good queen to Jon’s king: 
1. She is more politically minded than he is. Their debate on trusting Tyrion is proof enough of that. She also has experience in dealing with an extremely treacherous court in King’s Landing and that will prove very useful in managing their future court. An experience Jon completely lacks. 
2. He has a tendency to be impulsive whereas she is more controlled and strategic. They balance each other out. Jon is a big picture thinker which is fine but that can cause him to miss details that might turn into huge conflicts later on whereas Sansa is much more aware of the subtleties of situations and can identify potential risks. 
3. Jon has a hero complex and a self-sacrificing streak, where he wants to save and protect everyone. Sansa is more willing to accept the possibility that you can’t always do that. But Jon will continue to try to protect people so he needs someone to protect him, sometimes even from himself which is what Sansa can do for him. 
4. In my post regarding the alliances that Sansa and Jon can make, I called Sansa the most eligible match in Westeros. The amount of allies and strategic power she can bring to the table is undeniable and will be among the main reasons why they end up king and queen.
5. They’re both humanists. Despite Sansa’s more calculated temperament (something she learned, btw because naturally she’s not a calculated person),  she would have given a mob of people that attacked her and almost raped her bread if she had had it, she takes charge of calming the spirits of the women during the Battle of the Blackwater and as Jon’s regent, she supervises the food storing and preparations for winter. They both have the same view of what leadership is and the kind of leaders they want to be. They both very much see leadership as a duty and want to do right by the people that they govern.
6. On a personal level, they’re both romantics who dream about a quiet, domestic life. They want to have children and raise a family. So their personal goals and temperaments are aligned. 
7. Jon is insecure, particularly when it comes to how other people view him and since the moment they have been reunited, not only has Sansa understood that but given him the validation he needs to feel secure, content and happy. In turn, Jon can be the brave, gentle and strong man that Ned promised Sansa and that she’s always dreamed about. 
8. They fight a lot, they both make good and bad point along the way but at the end of the day, their fights are constructive and lead to both of them growing and developing as people. They push each other to be better. 
There are probably many more reasons that can be added but this is all I can come up with at this time. 
One more thing I’d like to add before I finish this:
I was under the, perhaps mistaken, impression that people sending me asks or reading my blog were interested in my honest opinion on topics and not just in answers and posts that validate their pre-existing views. If that is the case, I don’t think my blog is for you. I will never shy away from expressing my thoughts on a subject, even when that might be controversial. So if that bothers you, I understand. Please unfollow me, block me or otherwise scroll past me if you feel leaving a comment disagreeing is not enough. I don’t want to make anyone’s fandom experience anything less than a happy one, if I can help it. 
So, in an effort, to keep the Jonsa fandom experience a positive one for myself, I’d like to let everyone know that this will be my final answer on this subject. If you’re ever tempted to send me an ask telling me that I don’t think Sansa is entitled to voice her opinions, that I think Sansa is undermining Jon, that I’m trying to steal her agency in order to prop up Jon or that I think Sansa is always wrong and Jon is always right, please know that I will delete those asks and not answer them. I really don’t like doing that because I love talking to you guys and I really appreciate your interest in my blog and my opinions but at this point, if you still believe all of those things, there’s literally nothing I can say that will change your mind. Thank you for understanding!
Have a nice day, nonnie!
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whostheblondegirlwriting · 6 years ago
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Hi, I love your stories and writing. I have a question that is in NO WAY a criticism about you, just a question about people's writings in general. This may also be a multi part question. So I've noticed in a lot of fandoms, people complain when female characters are constantly being sexually assaulted for a story. I know it happens often in real life, but it is annoying to see almost all the time. Like that Joss Whedon comment about a female superhero who he wanted toknow what horrible thing...
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Wow! What an interesting, and potentially loaded, question. Lol I can see some people not liking my answer. If I chap some asses, just remember: it’s just one answer to an ask, and, if you have other thoughts, asks are always open. …Also, grab some cookies and a drink, because this may take a few minutes.
Is it safe to say, a majority (or at least, a good chunk) of, I’ll say, this fandom’s writers are women? My perception anyway, even if tumblr-ers don’t say in their headers or posts who they are. With that in mind, some of the bread and butter tropes for female writers and readers seem to be romantic plots, quite often with some version of a damsel of some situation or “fix me” trope in there somewhere. Why? Because who wouldn’t want some handsome, Chris Evans-looking beefcake to sweep them off their feet and make everything alright? Save me from this hell, let me love again, etcetera and so on. Same goes for, what I’ll call, the unnecessarily strong female character. Who doesn’t want to see some indestructible goddess stand up for herself or get her revenge? …But why are those our only options?
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Part of the reason is how deeply ingrained these plots are in what we see in available fic and societally is typical and, most importantly, successful. Here’s a formula that works and isn’t it fun to see someone get revenge, take no shit, or whatever. Another reason, I think, is the escapism of it. Looking again at tumblr, there seems to be an awful lot of users who are “younger” and are experiencing, or have, some of these situations who may find a little inspiration or hope. “If the heroine can overcome this, so can I”. “The heroine did this, so will I”. Older ones may find it cathartic to put themselves into the heroine and say, “I did this”, “I survived this”, or as their own wish fulfillment. 
Either way, don’t we all like to see someone triumph? If it’s a reader insert fic, don’t we all want to win and have our happy ending? Of course, we do! But there does seem to be a misconception that to be successful or strong that you must suffer for it. Frankly, it’s just not true and, quite possibly, it can be damaging to keep perpetuating this myth.
Everyone can look around and see someone, whether they know them personally or not, who is a “strong female character”. A coworker, a celebrity, a friend who seems to have their shit together and a good attitude. If you ever hear them talk, they don’t have a tragic backstory. They just seem to make their own luck, keep moving forward, and their efforts succeed. I’d be shocked that anyone could honestly say they don’t know of someone like this.
But that’s not interesting. Sure, they’re nice people, and lucky them if they’ve had a “good” life, but where’s the fun in that? Where’s the drama? Shouldn’t they have to earn it? What are they hiding? …because isn’t it the easy way to write a character to follow a proven, winning formula? Everyone else has an angsty backstory, so why doesn’t she? Why are we so suspicious that you can’t have one thing without the other? Frankly, because it’s harder.
How do I make you root for someone who, for all appearances, is making their way through life on their own without being victim to someone else or circumstances? Answer: make them interesting. I think writers, and readers, forget that everyday heroines exist naturally, because of the overselling of the damaged character (male or female) only being able to exist or succeed because of the bad they’re forced to face or by leaning on someone else. I, personally, think more natural heroines exist in the world than writers would ever admit. Why? Because it’s not sexy; doesn’t sell. “Normal” is boring. Readers don’t want “reality”, no matter what AU or fantasy world you put them in. …I call bullshit on that.
If we, as writers, don’t put in the effort to create characters who are strong from their convictions, the way they were raised, the people they associate with, and the cognizant decisions they make, how will readers know they can and do exist? How can readers be interested, and maybe inspired, by them, if we don’t give them to them?
It takes effort to create a genuinely strong female character; to decide who a character is and why. It takes effort to come up with an interesting plot that has action, drama, romance, or suspense and can stand on its own without falling back on the old formulas/tropes. Also, it can be discouraging to create a strong heroine, who hasn’t been dropped into one of these cliched victim stories, and then see the story not gain a large following, get notes, or kudos. But god damn if I don’t see another victim to heroine story exploding in popularity, so I’m gonna write one too, right?
I know I sound bitter or high and mighty, like I hate or haven’t read some of these fics myself. I have. I’ll admit it. But I can honestly say that I’m typically disappointed, because the idea was there but the effort wasn’t. Maybe there was a great angle in the story, but the character never came along. “I’m hard, because this is how life did me wrong. Now, I’m made of steel and nothing and no one can hurt me ever again.” Okay…but how? Why? Is that even necessary?
Maybe it’s a lack of confidence in their heroine or in the writer themselves that has so many stories falling into these same overdone and unproductive devices. Maybe the writer doesn’t have the time or want to put in the effort. You see so many overdone plots or allegedly strong heroines (but who are more caricature than actual, developed characters) go on to be huge successes (on AO3, on TV, or at the box office) that why wouldn’t any writer who wants to have that for themselves follow their just add water recipe? 
Writers, no matter how big or small their following, have an opportunity to change the perception that a heroine, or hero, can be strong only because they have suffered. That’s a “writer challenge”. Think outside the box and recognize or discover healthy, inspirational, and reasonable approaches to creating and developing a character. Take time to build their world and actually plot their plot, and try new takes on how a heroine can navigate them. Not all good stories have to involve her surviving a physical or emotional trauma or tragedy to find herself/her strengths or save the day. Shit happens and heroes rise and fall by it, yeah. But does it have to be that much over and over and over again?
This is writing. Use your imagination! Be original! Be creative! Rebel against overused plots and tropes and underdeveloped characters! 
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Tl;dr Honestly, there just aren’t enough people putting in the effort to break the cycle. 
Thank you for coming to my TED talk.
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