#a lucid chaos ; violette

[crimsontroupe]

And you, you follow philosophies, but me, I laugh, I choke "Well, hello, my hollow Holofernes" I wink, but you don't get the joke "Hold the hand of the god-child, " they said, "as he falls from the sky"

"Be good to me, " I beg of him "Be good to me, " I beg of him Be good, be good, be good, be good, be good, be good, be good And he replies (oh), "No, no, not I"

[laplacemail]

paralictor of the order of the torrent, violette vil.

by tladpwl03 @ twitter

[crimsontroupe]

by Darantartt @ twitter

[crimsontroupe]

lux sent me this funny meme yesterday and i filled it in for my characters now you get to enjoy me looking at them going like 'ah yes. mhm. mhm. yeah'

[crimsontroupe]

[crimsontroupe]

🕯️ vi and vanya - @thronelessking

With barely veiled irritation, the man shuts the book he was reading. A report wedged between pages, something Octavio had given him before. A step closer to the truth, but somehow even further away from it now. He rubs his temples in frustration, a quick glance to the helmet on his left. "There is something missing here.

And whatever it is missing, he knows. Whatever it is, he will not tell me." Not that the young man had not tried. Every attempt to coax the truth out of his friend resulted in simply getting 'distracted' with other things. It would be way easier to brush it aside if it was not so intimately connected to his morals and his job... but Vanya has always been like this. Hiding what he does not want others to see.

"Sometimes I wonder if it is because he does not trust me enough." The truth might be something else, but the Hellknight is not privy to it. "Him wanting it or not, I will get my answers next time."

[crimsontroupe]

I see Hellknight posting and looking respectfully (so the Order of the Rack doesn't kick my teeth in).

[laplacemail]

by Z6ixen @ twitter

[laplacemail]

How has Violette adjusted to being a Hellknight? How did he manage the training? What are his feelings on being selected for the position of Lictor? And just for fun, when do you think he took his exam/what level was he and who/what devil do you think he fought?

Ok I will answer these in no specific answer. We both know that the minimum level for the Hellknight Test if at 5. We also both know that you just fight that thing to the death. I feel like Violette while Eager to start the moment he could - by following on Octavio's footsteps - waited a little bit. So of course, he outgrew the regular devils that are summoned. So what is around level 7--- Levalochs.

Which I personally feel is a fun comparison to Violette himself. The personification of discipline and obedience, but ruthless pursuit of these ends due to being part automaton. Violette as a Hellknight has always been ruthless and relentless in his missions, especially when he has found someone to point that towards. It is less about feeling righteous about what he does and more -- to him, that is everything. He does not let emotion come and muddle his feelings, but there is definitely some extent of 'I am doing this to cope with so many of my unresolved issues and putting it all in a box and shoving it away as I should do does not work for me'.

He did not get special treatment in any way, training with other armigers most of the time. The difference is that when you are young and a bit reckless and discipline has not been entirely beaten into you, you are obviously going to challenge your superiors to sparring matches. And you are going to get your ass kicked. And when you are young you do not see that as 'well, I should probably get to their level first'. You take that as a challenge. Violette has fought Octavio more times than he could count or probably recall, and with each battle he made sure that he left it learning something new. He's really good at tracking people down and making sure that his prey does not escape him. Which. Funnily enough, makes him a perfect fit for the Torrent.

Initially the 'adjusting' was really "I have no other choice", but he is now fiercely protective of his job and his men. You could definitely point at his feelings about the organization as a whole (and he will respectfully not say a peep about Cheliax because. uh. Yeah! MOVING ON), though he has individuals he trusts within different Orders. His allegiance is definitely more to the Torrent than the entire Organization---

--- which is so funny when you consider what happens/happened huh! That he had to reluctantly accept and understand that he might lead them, not through his own strength and eventually rising to the position of Lictor - which I feel like they all know he is well on his way to, and does not accept it because he feels Octavio is a better fit - but due to betrayal and corruption. And that he has to stay away from all of it, because logic dictates he would be the next person to get pointed at and executed. His feelings are: I would be cool with it normally but everything here sucks and I hate it. Glad this gets resolved in a way that is not disastrous for both sides. He still has some room to become more mature and have his head more in a leading position. So I feel that eventually he will Accept who and what he should eventually become, without losing his humanity in the process. Mostly because his friends will not allow him that.

Also I hate devils fuck this thing in particular to be honest. Good job Violette, no clue how you did it because I would just start trying to bite this thing. Thumbs up

[crimsontroupe]

❝ you’re not ready for that yet. one step at a time. ❞ @thronelessking

"I am not a child, Vanya," Violette groans, knowing his complaints will fall upon deaf ears. But without the protection of his armor, the Hellknight almost feels naked. Too exposed, too vulnerable. Vanya sews something lovingly, toils day and night on a new weapon that Violette certainly did not ask for.

There are times where he wonders if such acts of kindness are actually acts of pity. That Violette was not able to figure out and effectively close Vanya's case. He tries not to think too hard when this happens. "There is only so much time that I can spend on something before the trail goes cold, and you know it."

He knows it. They both know it. The despair of a cold case, countless nights spent reviewing the vague information he could find. And then the Academy in Taldor, the raid, the fact that they were only a dozen men acting on impulsive orders and he could not really do more -- and if he could do more, he---

"-- Don't look at me like that. The least I can do is find out the truth. For you. You are much better than years ago, but you deserve the truth as much - if not more - than anybody else." Violette ignores that his friend might not want to know. It's selfish, he knows. But the best thing he can do right now is focus on what he can do.

"I got more information. I am going to act on it soon, or at least see where this lead will take me. This will actually be beneficial. Octavio has been plotting something, and I just know I am involved in it. Maybe his retirement party. Or whatever. The old man has a clear person he wants to appoint to take leadership of the Order.

... I want to help you. Now. While I still can. While I still can pursue personal cases, and the worst that will happen is a slap on the wrist. Or me being punished. But I do not care if they just hang me upside down, or I just have to drown myself at sea until he is satisfied.

I want to see the end of this. I promised you this much. I cannot take it easy, Vanya. The more time it passes, the harder it is to trace things back to the man who did this to you. The longer I stretch this, the quicker my own time runs out. My last reckless act as myself." 'Is for you', he wants to add but decides against it. Of course it is. It's a reckless act for himself. And for Vanya. This way it is easier to deal with all of the things about himself he does not want to address.

[crimsontroupe]

❝ you stop feeling, you stop thinking, you stop being you, there is only the fight, the foe, this man and then the next and the next and the next. ❞ - @wangshengx (from a meme that idk where it is anymore)

"Those are words from people who can still be people." The reply from the soldier comes immediately, with perhaps more animosity than he intended. There is a certain snap to them, the intent to bite and almost hurt... but it does not go further than that. "Funny, that. Some can keep their humanity, their integrity.

You stop feeling. So what? It makes it easier."

Who is he angry at? Mal? Himself? The world? His circumstance? Violette grits his teeth, lowers both his arms. A sign that he has given up. Best to just cross his arms and keep on the defensive. "I bet you have your own ugly secrets, yourself. It takes a certain kind of person to keep going on this mad journey of yours. It takes a certain kind of person to not unmake yourself under the weight of the entire world. And yet you are here."

Who are you to speak of my lack of soul, of my lack of personhood? Violette thinks all of that, but keeps his thoughts to himself. "I can't say much. I decided to just go along with you and Vanya. But even if you have a point, you can't just--"

He swallows, trying to think of what to say. Who exactly is he mad at? "-- just deny me the little things that I have left. You would be a hypocrite if you said you only want to see me find a better future. That future has ceased to exist, robbed from me. I continue to walk with whatever remains of what they allowed me to leave with.

A soldier does not stop being a soldier, a knife does not stop being a knife just because it is kept sheathed all the time. I will put your enemies down - and Vanya's - but you can't just tell me that it will ruin me." I know. I already know. "You. You just. You do not have that kind of right." It makes Violette feel a bitter taste in his mouth. It is foul. Does Mal really not have the right to say these things? He knows almost nothing of the other man. He never bothered to ask. Too afraid to. Too terrified of finding another person who could understand. "It is just cruel."

[crimsontroupe]

❝ in my own defense, i timed it perfectly. ❞ - @thronelessking ╰┈➤ STARTER PROMPTS : Sherlock Holmes : A Game of Shadows (accepting)

"And that changes things how, exactly?" Despite how biting his words might seem, Violette does not really mean to insult. To scare his friend a little bit, yes. To be rude, no. There is a practiced removal of armor that is done in the background, and Violette understands that there is a method to Vanya's apparent madness. But understanding is different than accepting. He growls a little bit, not making a real attempt to hide his annoyance.

"What are you going to fight next, Vanya? A golem? No. Scratch that. You already did. What do you think would have happened if you stayed a little bit longer?" 'Whose corpse do you think I would have to bring forward', is what he wants to ask. Instead it is just implied, left hanging in the air how bad it would be. "Yeah, fights are decided based on who can time something better than the other one. And I understand your desire to go out. I truly do. It's just..." Well.

This kinda sucks. "Not saying you need supervision, but you do. And the new 'friends' you have are not really good at doing that. They know better than to leave you behind, but accidents happen." Now he is just making things more complicated for himself. "Okay. Listen. I know I am busy most of the time. But it would not hurt to ask me if you wanted someone to watch over you and make sure nothing bad happens to you.

I get that adventuring is always being knee-deep in some shit or whatever people are bothering you about. That does not give you a free pass to leave without a warning. I'll find you eventually, but that passing concern is still there. You timed it perfectly. Once. You can time it perfectly thirty times in a row. The one time you don't get it right might mean you go down for real." Violette mumbles a very quiet 'and I do not want that', before grumbling something else about how reckless his friend is. By now his entire armor is stripped off, following on his promise to let Vanya measure him for a new one.

[crimsontroupe]

❝ time solves most things and what time can’t solve, you have to solve yourself. ❞ periwinkle to her little purple cabbage :) @thronelessking

"...Easier said than done."

Even though he knows she speaks from experience. It is the end of a long day, and Periwinkle managed to find him in Kintargo once more. How she knew he was returning home for a month or so, he has no idea. It is something that Octavio asked him to do. If Violette squints and thinks hard enough, he would be able to connect the dots. If he is unable to do that or ignores it willingly, it is another question altogether.

Violette would hate to admit that he was set up. Whatever. It would give him some time to figure out his plans. 'Do not let it consume you, lest you lose yourself in pursuit of the truth you value', the old man said. Well, maybe he should heed his own words. If things turned out differently, he would not be here. Or maybe Violette would be, and Octavio would not. Violette would be in a different position. Treading a path of fire and ire, violence and insurrection.

What do you do with a system that is objectively flawed? What do you do with this flawed system when you are a vital part of it? Abrogail has been keeping the Hellknights distant from her, diverting their focus to the Firebrands. Not all of them bad, but most with ideas too reckless and too lenient on shattering necessary fundamentals. He has dealt with more than a handful undercover, himself.

"Time cannot heal what is absent." He mutters more to himself than to the halfling that has cared for him in her own way most of his childhood. When he was at his most raw, vicious stage. Right now, he is simply a carefully crafted blade. Violette sets to what he was doing before: polishing his armor and focusing on that. A mantra spoken in his head, the tides will not take him. He will swallow the ocean before he is swallowed himself. And he will bring back the ones lost to it, alive or dead. He will venture through merciless waves. The law will be upheld. The innocent will be spared, and their captors shall face the rage of the ocean. Instead of being taken by it, he will become the tide itself. To drive away lawbreakers, to execute ones that thought peace is simply a concept they can erase from people's minds.

Something that has been repeated time and time again. Until Violette himself started to believe in it. And started to doubt it.

"I am solving it myself. With some help. But time cannot heal what is absent. Time cannot easily sew together some things." Naïve fool. "A blade that knows not what to cut is a waste of metal. I am close to finding something that has been eluding me." Violette stops himself for a moment, pondering if he should say it. Then he continues. "About the person I visit sometimes. I have received information that has not led me and my men into dead ends." For a while, he had a few handful of Torrent Hellknights to accompany him. As years passed, every single lead turned out to be cold. And now it is only Violette and his goal. Violette and his obsession.

Violette and his soul-shattering search. Answers not for himself, but for somebody who he could finally see as a person. A person who needed to live, to smile. To not fall into the same pits that he himself went through.

"I will be moving again soon. It will be hard to read letters, and harder to reply to them." He warns, already knowing what is coming. "But I expect to come with good news. Or at least not totally empty-handed."

[laplacemail]

🐣 for violette. but pf violette. i want to see him with his dad :)

"Let me go." He growls, knowing that armored hand grasps his arm tightly. It is not oppressive. It's just... overbearing. Overwhelming. Violette feels cared for, and that is frightening. Terrifying. It's not that different from how Octavio deals with the other kids that were unfortunate enough to be left to the Torrent, though most of them are just delivered to a safer place. A few decide on the harsher road, though.

To toss yourself into a path where no one returns from. Not the same. Not whole. Perfect, but not whole. Violette hisses, struggles until he breaks free from Octavio's grasp. Like that, he almost looks like a rabid animal. Desperate. Terrified. Cornered. Fangs bared. There is something to be said about lack of discipline, and a boy who has no hope. Something to be said about violence. It is all he knows. He would not have crawled out of that hole if people did not rescue him. And now here he is, surviving simply because strangers took pity on him.

Violette hates it. He hates it so much that all that hatred is pointed everywhere at once. Eventually it will hit something.

"What do you care if I want to leave? Obviously I am not a good fit. I can't wrap my mind around the way you all act. Or how you act. Or how and why it's important. It would be much easier for you if you did not have to look after me."

After a rebellious, traumatized child. Violette wants to explode again, to yell that all of this is bullshit. But he knows that this would do nothing for him or his situation. He can kind of... understand. The principles of it. Some of it. But it is too easy to see red, to let his own emotions take control.

He lacks that cold precision the other armigers possess. That the man teaching him possesses. It's infuriating, really. A reminder that he will never be able to turn his heart and feelings off. "I'd stop getting in your way. Isn't that great?"

[laplacemail]

"Oh! I almost forgot to show you!" Vanya chimes as he digs into a basket by his feet, pulling out two stuffed plush bunnies. One a dark purple and the other one a cream yellow, their hands joined together by magnets. The look on Vanya's face only aptly described as: knowingly smug. "I got some of these from my mother recently, I was thinking about making a couple more cosmetic changes to them, what do you think I should give them?"

"..."

His eye twitch, and it is in that moment that Violette realizes he has fallen right into Vanya's trap. Of course there was a reason why he wanted Violette to come see him before his ship left. He glares holes into the plushies, not exactly annoyed. Violette can't seem to find himself angry at Vanya, knowing that cold dagger is better pointed somewhere else. Towards other things. Octavio might have suggested Violette kill that part of him off, but he finds it easier to simply repurpose it instead of scratch that feeling altogether.

Running a hand over his hair and allowing his ears to settle again, he sighs. "I hope that is for you. I can't... bring these things around. I risk just having to leave them behind." It is true. More often than not he seems to be leaving places in a hurry before his cover gets blown, so he always packs lightly. Or as lightly as his friend allows him to.

Thanks to Vanya, he seems to always find himself having more changes of clothes than he needs. Violette thinks he acts more like a mother than a friend, sometimes. Instead of letting him win, he points at the yellow plushie. "You are missing his scar. If he saw this, he would think you are flattering him. But that idiot seems to be proud of the shit he inflicts upon himself. Your mother knows how to get under my skin, I will give her that." Not in a bad way. It is just very hard to keep his guard up around that woman. "I was thinking you had something important to say before we left Escadar, but... I should have known better. You are leaving too, are you not?

If my hunch is correct--", and they usually are "-- we will be seeing each other soon enough."

[laplacemail]

Okay but has Violette ever just called Octavio dad. This is very important information I need to know.

There are many things Violette has left at his desk. A pile of unopened letters - the characteristic cute seal of a particular woman. They are not unopened because he fears opening them - it is simply that he desires to set aside sufficient time to read them. That would be an excellent excuse, if they did not accumulate faster than he could keep up with.

So they stay there, untouched. He knows the woman will eventually find him and tug his ears about never replying. They are difficult feelings, and they weight heavily on him. The idea of being close to someone, but directly desiring to run in the opposite direction anytime the possibility is offered.

Violette grabs the parchment he was writing on and crumples it with noticeable anger. This is also an unsent letter.

Because he cannot. Because it is impossible right now, the agonizing wait. Of being sent away. There is not even much content in the discarded letter, as words were always difficult to find.

"I hope this letter finds you well and alive. I hope you are alive. Though our parting came as a surprise to both of us - I was ready to stand and fight with you - I now understand the necessity of a legacy. While I cannot understand why me in particular, I will not disobey orders.

Much as I wanted to, in that single moment of defiance. Much as I still want to. I comprehend that there is no special treatment between me and the other men in the Order, you are the only one aware of my circumstances. I believe you know this, too. How excruciating it is to see a parent sacrifice themselves, in order to keep the flame burning bright.

While normally I keep my armor next to me, it feels weird to have to actively avoid using it. Next time I return to Kintargo, it will be either to take over your duties or to work as your second in command. There is obviously a correct answer to this. I do not believe the man who raised me will die so easily. I will stay with a friend until then. It is very odd to call him that, considering the fact that I still have not finished the job. Right now, it is the safest place to hide.

Be safe. The waves cannot swallow you.

- Violette Vil"

Words that he will never say in person, and words that will never find their way to its intended recipient.