#a lot of this is written from my own experience. bcus i would like to see mine documented more. bcus not seeing it was the reason it took

[regesc]

i need it all in one place in my meta tag sooo. trans noctis headcanons! 

under the cut: warnings for brief mentions of unsafe binding, menstruation and dysphoria.

Noctis is Nonbinary and Trans Masculine, and is what you would call pre-transition; no hormones, et cetera, and has very little intention to medically transition safe for maybe testosterone when he’s older / more comfortable. Noctis came out when he was eighteen, though has been aware of / experienced dysphoria since he was around fifteen - sixteen despite not really having a word for it; his experiences with gender and his general knowledge is pretty limited to what Ignis could tell him, so while I use words ( like nonbinary and stuff ) to describe him noctis just sort of refers to himself as a man.  He is uneducated, and has had very little time to explore himself. He has only been out to close friends for two years, and never came out publicly. 

Noctis’ dysphoria is for the most part entirely social, as he experiences feelings towards his body ranging from blank / bored disconnect ( just like, oh i exist ) that can occasionally border on body dysphoria, though never cripplingly so, to euphoria / pride ( especially when he’s with a partner who likes him ): it’s also important to note that while he calls himself a man, it’s just a term he identifies with, Noctis still also identifies very heavily with his birth name / his womanhood at times, and finds it extremely hard to let go of this due to his relationship with his gender. There are times Noctis still refers to himself with feminine terms, and this is okay, and something he is allowed to do. His gender expression is his own. He just sorta calls himself a dude and you gotta roll with it.

However, because of the above, his sexuality is sort of a sore spot for him: he tends to avoid talking about it because he can’t figure out what term he should identify with. Noctis varies from calling himself bisexual to just saying he likes men to completely omitting sexuality all together  — his relationship with his gender affects his relationship with his sexuality, but it’s important to takeaway from this that gender and sexual orientation aren’t always linked like this and more often than not are entirely separate! It’s simply how he feels.

These things do affect him as a character and how I write him, but I’d also like to think his reactions to these things do lean heavily on who he is as a character; Noctis, as a character, is extremely recoiled from emotional expression and tends toward blank or bored in his youth, which can affect his relationship with himself; he’s very unresponsive to his gender, lashing out only when prodded about it or when he reaches his absolute limit. He’s also very closed off, rarely discussing it, seeing it often times as more of a burden than anything.

Extra notes!

1) He binds sometimes, and owns a slightly oversized and overused binder however seeing as it’s dangerous to bind while exercising ( seriously if you take nothing from my blog take this, bind safely ) for the most he defers to wearing sports bras or just not wearing one at all and sticking on a baggy hoodie. i think his chest is where 99% of his body dysphoria really does come from, only because its the thing he finds himself most prominently aware of when he’s feeling bad.

2) he’s on birth control and has been since he was 17, mostly to regulate his hormones / control his period because he thought it’d help with his depression when he was younger ( though in reality this was menstruation related dysphoria ). he does the 12 week > 1 week of placebo / reminder pills ( because he’d absolutely forget ) but if he could he’d just never get it because he hates it. so much. you can tell he’s on if he’s just laying in bed playing kings knight for 12 hours a day.

3) when it comes to pronouns, noct’s a bit of a mess: i encourage people in threads to alternate between he and they, but noctis refers to himself with all kinds; he, again, really hasn’t been out long, so will sometimes defer to she/her for himself until it sort of sinks in, but will otherwise use he/him. he will always, when he is uncomfortable / especially dysphoria, simply refer to himself as they and avoid gendered terms altogether, also encouraging other people to do the same. but honestly noctis feels kind of like a burden changing up his pronouns: he again has never had.. much experience with it. choosing his own name was enough of a journey. he doesn’t like feeling like he’s putting people out. he doesn’t like drawing attention to himself.

Which I think lends to the final point: Noctis just doesn’t want attention. But it’s hard! I never get to explore this in threads, but he really  does feel like it’s all just... a bit much for people? Noctis has this problem y’see, where he wants to internalise all of his problems and never face them - it’s why him coming out to Ignis wasn’t calm, it was him pretty much reaching a breaking point. Noctis just doesn’t talk about his feelings, and these are no different; he faces this problem as he would any other thing as a character, because it’s a part of who he is.

anyway congrats thats the post. remember him. he is thinking of you always

[luvdetroit]

Hey! I 've just read the first chapter of the dbh series you wanted to start, and I really like the plot 🥺 Do you plan on continuing it? 👉🏻👈🏻

hey, sorry for the late reply! i actually do have it planned out a bit differently than i originally wrote it in the first chapter. i think this planned version is better than the one i posted. there are many other ideas that i have in my drafts, i just haven’t released them yet.

thank you for reading it! i'm happy you enjoyed it and i'm sorry for saying this but i think i'll just scrap this idea and go with my new one (VOW). it will be somewhat similar, just more complex? and hopefully interesting!

not sure if you are even interested in hearing about them but i’ll drop them here! maybe if you or anyone is interested, i will follow through with posting them (have been feeling very bad about my writing recently).

for anyone who does read my ideas, please do not steal! i really worked hard on thinking about these and would be really hurt if anyone took them. they aren’t super original or anything, but i still created them 😩

these are really roughly written so please don’t judge 🚶🏼‍♀️🚶🏼‍♀️

please do comment or send me a message in my inbox about which idea you like more, if i should do a specific one or all of them even! 💞💞💞

1. TITLE: VOW

pairings: various! x fem!reader

genre: meta (?), angst, fluff, etc

plot: metafiction. mc surfs the web to buy d:bh and finds a seller who is willing to sell the game for cheap (suspiciously). mc contacts the user and a deal has been made.

we will flesh out the seller later, he ain’t all that important rn. so mc gets the game after maybe two days? and in the packaging the seller wrote a letter to her, it is pretty cryptic. we can get into detail on the letter and stuff later.

so mc starts the game up right away because she is excited to play it. on her first play though everything is pretty normal. there are a few differences/odd occurrences but mc doesn’t bat an eye because it’s her first time playing so she wouldn’t know.

gradually as she plays, the characters (connor and markus) are more aware of them being in a game. (sense they are in the same series and are prototypes it only makes sense for them to be able to sync themselves/go beyond their coding).

connor and markus have broken the fourth wall/have become aware with other players. they grow a deep hatred for the player. sense they can’t throw their anger at the creators of the game, they can do so with the player.

at first, connor and markus only did minor things that didn’t really stand out to the player. when connor/markus breaks the fourth wall and directly talks about the player, the player thinks it’s apart of the game.

but when connor/markus mentions the player’s name that is when they freak out a bit, but assumes the characters got their names from their playstation.

it’s only when connor/markus states some personal stuff about them do they feel fear. (connor/markus can sync with the smart tv that also contains all their info).

connor/markus have tried to sync with the game/tv enough to transport the player in the game so the player can experience first hand what it’s like to live in their world. but their connection weakens each time the player resets. their memories are also wiped out.

over time connor/markus are able to retain their memories a lot faster but forget the previous players of the game. even if they don’t remember the previous players they still think of one goal. transport the player into their world, let them suffer, seeing first hand how THEY feel.

connor/markus will be slightly oc. they will have somewhat of a dark side.

i didn’t explain this in the summary bcus i’m dumb but the game can’t be destroyed (it’s like a possessed object). even if you throw it out or something it will still go back to you bcus you own it. the only way to get rid of it is selling it.

ik some wack logic but sjakwkw

sam is the seller of the game. (his username is GAMER BOY 69). the game is sold for $10 with free shipping and no tax.

mc: does this really only cost $10? why is this so cheap?

sam: i’m just being generous

sam: are you willing to buy it?

mc: can you show proof that you actually have it and it isn’t broken?

sam: sure, hold on a second

[sam sends a video of him filming the game packaging and saying his username (in a bit of embarrassment) and mc’s. he reassured her that it isn’t broken and works perfectly fine. he tells her he didn’t like the game so that’s why he’s selling it.]

sam’s letter is in a white envelope, his writing is slightly messy, almost jittery (from nerves). he feared he was being watched by, ‘them’ so he wrote cryptically.

sam’s note: i’m sorry i did this to you. i really am. i just didn’t have any other choice. don’t play the game, please.

2. TITLE: PARESTHESIA

pairings: various! x fem! reader

genre: dark au, cult au, angst, fluff, etc

plot: in this au kamski doesn’t publicly make androids n stuff

so amanda stern is still kamski’s mentor in this au

she, ‘disappears’ at some point and is listed as a missing person

kamski knows she isn’t gone though bcus she told him her plan

basically amanda is very manipulative and warped kamski’s young mind into thinking humans being lesser beings and that kamski can really create something even more superior, androids.

kamski and amanda are humans but they are excused because of them being intelligent and having that sort of mindset- humans being filth on this planet

instead of kamski making cyberlife public

he instead also disappears after a few years later (once he’s done w college)

it’s a gap between amanda and his disappearance to not completely draw suspicion

cyberlife is created in secret, hidden from the public

belief: humans are disgusting and should be replaced by something far superior, androids.

rules: only those who have the same mindset as kamski and amanda can join the cause and contribute. (so human co workers of amanda and such help gather material and thirium (blue blood) to create more androids in secret).

practices: a member has to willingly be able to sacrifice any body part kamski chooses to replace for an android part or partake in any experiment kamski may have. if not, they aren’t fully in the cause and should be ridden of.

kamski wants to take a oblivious civilian in for a secret test of his

he wants to test out how human his androids can be and if it can blend in with humans in normal day to day life.

so he releases one of his androids, connor (rk800) out into the world. his mission is to find a human he can initiate a relationship with. once he finds that human, he slowly grows a relationship with them over time- kamski is studying all of this through connor’s eyes.

kamski is amazed by this new discovery- his androids do blend in with humans well.

the last secret test for mc is connor telling her his true nature. (telling her he isn’t human, he’s an android). connor breaks this to mc at his, ‘house’ which is connected to their secret compound/underground base.

kamski wants to know how mc will react to this news because her actions depends on whether she’s just another piece of human scum or not. this will validate whether she can join their, ‘organization’ or not.

mc will be confused by connor’s sudden news at first. she won’t believe him until he pulls back his skin to show his porcelain interior.

she’ll be surprised then and question whether their relationship was all real or not.

connor reassures her that he does share her feelings. he admits that at first this was a mission but he truly does feel for her. he asks her if she still has feelings for him even after knowing he isn’t human and mc (after a bit of thinking) says that she does.

this makes connor happy as well as kamski bcus mc got through the test. this is the first android-human relationship too.

a few days pass just to really make sure mc doesn’t act any different and really is telling the truth about having feelings for connor still- when connor informs mc that his creator wants to meet her in person one day.

connor and mc go to his place and he leads her downstairs to his normal looking basement- and there is this really intricate hidden puzzle/door that opens to their underground compound.

connor leads mc to a room and meets kamski. kamski comments on mc- on how he was surprised that mc quickly took a liking to connor and how she still has feelings for connor even after finding out the truth. he’s impressed and approves of the relationship.

he tells her he hopes she keeps her word about this organization being a secret because he wouldn’t want anything bad happening to her so soon.

after that connor and mc go about their relationship like normal. although, connor has been experiencing these odd feelings lately. he’s also been oddly wanting to act out violently towards the most smallest things. like mc talking to someone else, smiling at someone else, touching someone else, even if it was platonic.

it didn’t sit right with him. he never voiced these new feelings to kamski though. he was too afraid kamski might tell him he has something wrong with his software. he doesn’t want kamski to call him defective and replace him for another connor. he doesn’t want to be seen as not good enough for mc.

connor doesn’t act on any of his thoughts. he doesn’t let his emotions control him.

after about two weeks kamski calls connor and tells him he wants him to meet someone (rk900) and that he should bring mc.

so connor visits the compound and meets kamski in a lounge area with mc. they both enter the room with kamski casually laying on a lush couch. a small smile is brought on his face when he noticed connor and mc’s presence. he greets them both and tells them that he’s happy they could make it.

connor opens his mouth, about to ask who the person kamski wants him to meet when rk900 walks in with two cups of tea + thirium in his hands.

rk900 places a tea down in front of kamski, the other tea and thirium on the opposite side of kamski’s before returning his attention to connor and mc. his eyes scrutinizing connor and mc.

kamski’s smile widens at connor’s reaction and stands up, clasping rk900’s shoulder with one hand. he prompts rk900 to introduce himself.

rk900 introduces himself somewhat stiffly in a monotone voice.

rk900: my name is conan.

it was short and to the point. he offers an open hand for a handshake.

connor looks over conan, completely ignoring the hand offered to him, then at kamski with all sorts of emotions. the main ones being confusion and fear. at this point connor is wondering if conan is going to replace him for a reason connor does not know.

kamski breaks the awkward silence/tension in the room.

kamski: “well, connor? aren’t you going to greet your brother?”

connor takes a few moments to process this information and absentmindedly inquires, “brother?” in a small voice. his brows furrow slightly and his gaze draws towards his look alike. from up close, conan looks exactly like connor with a few differences. he was slightly taller than connor and had cool greyish blue eyes. why would kamski decide to make me a brother? i didn’t ask for one.

kamski: “yes, brother. i just thought it might be lonely to live alone in that big house of yours so i have gifted you with your own brother.”

at this point connor is having a mental breakdown. kamski doesn’t do things without a logical reason. he’s not telling me the full truth.

connor finally breaks out of his thoughts, his eyes darting back to kamski and he nods shortly, ignoring conan’s still outstretched hand and his presence altogether.

connor: [in a stony voice] okay, is that all?

conan drops his hand.

the corners of kamski’s lips twitch, threatening to split into a menacing smirk at connor’s cold reaction. kamski clicks his tongue mockingly and sits back down, grabbing his tea.

kamski: “that’s not how you should treat your brother. [sighs] that will be all, but you have to teach conan how things work around here. that’s what a big brother should do, after all.”

connor bites back a disgruntled sigh of his own and settles for a slight frown.

connor: “why wasn’t he informed before meeting me? didn’t he go through the same test runs as me?”

it took everything in connor to not let his irritation show through his tone.

kamski pins connor with an annoyed glare, a small bit of amusement shining through.

kamski: “why are you testing my patience connor? are you not happy with my gift?”

kamski’s words were light mockery, with a dark undertone to them. connor knew better than to irritate his creator further. he bows his head slightly to him.

connor: “i apologize for causing you further inconvenience. i..am just surprised by the new addition, that’s all.”

kamski simply nods lazily. waving a hand, he tells them they are dismissed.

connor turns away from his creator and him to the exit with you following right beside him silently. he places his hand on the small of your back and presses you close to him possessively. the slight tapping of a pair of shoes follow behind connor and you. connor ignores it.

connor walks through the maze of hallways without pause, part of him hoping his, ‘brother’ would get lost and never return.

he knew better though. without even looking, he knew conan wasn’t even a step behind and it irritated connor to no end.

once the three enter the, ‘main area’ which was basically the center of the compound, connor turns around to face conan.

connor: [monotonously] “give me your hand, i’ll transfer the data so this all can be over with.”

connor outstretches his hand. part of him wants to pull it back because he doesn’t want to touch him.

conan looks at connor’s outstretched hand to connor’s face.

conan: “no, i can’t do that. kamski specifically told me to get the information from you the, ‘human’ way. he wishes for us to talk to each other like brothers.”

connor looks even more bewildered at that bit of information..why would kamski do this without his consent? this..has to be some sort of test. maybe conan is just playing the role as his brother to spy on him and catch him doing something that may incriminate him? does kamski know about his odd..’glitches’? did he make rk900 just to dispose of him and replace him?

no, he couldn’t have known..the cameras in his opticals were shut off weeks ago. so why was rk900 here? what is kamski getting at?

connor also took notice of how..machine like conan is. conan walks stiffly and has a rigid stance. in that sentence he brings up what kamski wants rather than his. he follows kamski’s orders as if they were law without question.

connor still has his hand in front of him and ignores what conan says

he’s like, “it would be easier if we just did this.” (he’s irritated and is insistent)

and conan refuses, again repeating, “we have to follow kamski’s orders.”

and connor taunts conan

he’s like, “can you not think for yourself? i thought you were supposed to be alive.”

at that, mc finally speaks, telling connor off, “that’s enough, connor. i think you should just follow what kamski says. conan is just as alive as you and needs some of your guidance.”

connor’s eyes slightly widen as well as conan’s. connor’s frown deepens at your words. you’re defending him. why? you should be on his side, not him.

conan still has a blank face but his eyes are now trained on mc, curiosity being one of the emotions flickering in his eyes.

connor notices conan looking at mc and narrows his eyes in disgust.

connor: fine..we can discuss everything at my place.

connor turns and places his hand back on mc’s lower back, pressing her as close to him and far from conan as possible.

conan follows on without question.

3. TITLE: DARK EXTERIOR

pairings: various! x fem! reader

genre: dark au, angst, fluff, etc

plot: the main plot is androids taking over and humans as pets

so mc is obviously gonna be a human, she is like in one of those sort of adoption places but it’s more like a buy your pet thing

and mc is gonna be 18 y/o because yes

- mc and her parents live in a house that is located in a rather secluded area in the woods

- when word gets out about androids dominating humans and turning them into slaves- mc’s parents decide to live underground. mc is 3 y/o during this time. (the father is an artist/architect, this was originally just a project for himself). years pass with them being undetected. (it was 2038 when androids dominated humans)

- 15 years passed without them being detected and mc is 18 y/o (year is 2053)

- mc’s father scavenges for food and such once a month

- underground they still have a tv, tablet, and phones to keep up with how everything is going in detroit

- mc feels trapped after living underground for basically her entire life and learning second hand about androids, the revolution, etc

- mc starts doubting her parents and their reasons. she questions whether if there are bad androids out there who will snatch her up.

- mc asks her father if she can help him scavenge one day but he along with her mother are against that (this is on her birthday when she turns 18 y/o bcus she thinks she’s mature enough to)

- this causes a big argument between her parents and her and she voices her doubts to them- this ends with mc locking herself in her room. after awhile when it’s night time, her father visits her and apologizes for yelling but tells her she still can’t go up there because it’s too dangerous.

- mc hides her anger and lies to her father about her understanding. when it’s about midnight mc decides to sneak out and go above ground.

- mc is wandering in the woods mindlessly basking in everything- she kind of becomes careless (she doesn’t act cautious when wandering around). she maybe follows a bird she sees (owl) out of curiosity and nears markus and his crew (simon, north, and josh). they were having a picnic or just stargazing.

- simon hears rustling and light footsteps coming towards them so he alerts the others, he’s like, ‘do you guys hear that?’

- the others listen and do hear the footsteps and rustling coming rather close and quickly. all of them are tense (because they have experienced a lot of..attacks in the past so obviously they got their bars raised)

- so mc bumps into markus and everyone is surprised by mc’s sudden appearance

- mc stops in her tracks and looks at markus, it takes her a minute to really look at him bcus it’s dark and her human eyes are very poor at catching details

- she recognizes markus and is frozen. she also faintly recognizes his friends because they are also a big part of the android revolution (or so she’s been told by her parents).

- after a beat of silence north says, ‘a human?’ in a rather disgusted tone.

- josh observes you and asks out loud, ‘how can a human be this far out of the city?’

- north: ‘maybe it escaped from it’s owner or something.’

- after observing you, markus reaches out to you (you are still frozen and too scared to move) and places his hand on the nape of your neck. he realizes you don’t have a chip installed there to tell him who your owner is. (let’s say every human at birth has a chip installed to their nape to identify them and their owner)

- markus informs the others that mc doesn’t have a chip which startles them.

- north: ‘wait..it’s a fucking wild?’

- josh: ‘how could it live this long on it’s own if it is a wild?’

- (markus had his eyes on you the whole time) he asks you if there are more of you in the forest and you slowly shake your head no. they all know you are lying though.

- north: ‘there are more like it in the forest..how come we didn’t know about this?’

- josh: ‘this is pretty bad..if there are more wilds out here hiding this could damage the trust we built with the others. everyone will be outraged if they find out we let wilds slip under our noses.’

- simon approaches you slowly and asks again if there are more people like you out there

- when you shake your head again markus holds your chin between his thumb and index finger, tilting your head up so that you can look at him in the eyes.

- with a dark look in his eyes markus says, ‘don’t lie to us again kitten because i’m not in the mood to play nice. now, tell us the truth. are there more of you out there?’

- you are scared now and regret ever leaving the hideout. knowing it would be futile to lie again, you nod. (you are unable to say anything because your throat feels constricted).

- north: ‘where are they?’

- you don’t say anything because you don’t want to give your parents away. you continue to berate yourself for your stupid decisions.

- north sighs (clearly irritated by you not answering their questions immediately), ‘well? aren’t you going to speak? or can you not speak?’

- josh tries to calm north down, ‘intimidating it isn’t going to make it talk’

- north: why are you defending it? have you gone soft now?

- josh: [sighs] are we really going to do this? i’m just trying to tell you that yelling at it won’t get us anywhere-

- north: babying it isn’t getting us anywhere and i don’t see /you/ doing anything.

- simon steps in before the argument could get even more heated and pushes the two away from each other, “that’s enough. can you both not argue for once? now is not the time.”

- a little bit of pressure on your chin directs your attention from the two arguing to markus.

- markus: show us and i promise we won’t hurt you.

- mc thinks about this, ‘deal’ and realizes at that moment she doesn’t know what the hideout even looks like from the outside bcus she was so caught up on other things.

- mc makes a half baked plan to pretend to know where her hide out is, lead them, then find an opening to escape

- mc responds after a bit of pondering, (in a feeble voice), “okay.”

- north: [annoyed and slightly surprised] that’s it? that’s all it took?

- markus lets go of mc’s chin and gives mc a slight nod, telling her to show them the way

- before mc could take any step north butts in

- north: shouldn’t we restrain it first? tie it’s hands so it doesn’t do anything stupid?

- mc really dislikes north and is pretty scared of north out of all of them.

- markus notices your discomfort and shakes his head at north, “no. we don’t need to."

- north: [irritated] but she is a fucking wild- she’s dangerous-

- markus: [interrupts north + raises one of his hands up] i said, we don’t need to.

- north huffs in annoyance but doesn’t say anything else. part of you is satisfied by seeing north being put in her place.

- markus returns his attention to you and silently tells you w his eyes to lead the way.

- you turn your back towards markus and observe the vast amount of trees before you and walk in the direction you remember vaguely running from.

[emsartwork]

ask dump! Separated loosely by topic 

Questions and Comments

1. is this a homestuck thing. this is a homestuck thing isnt it  2. lol i love doing both!!! i love world building but i also like trying my hand at redesigning the mess that is canon fashion. @theoretical-artist​ 3. thank you!!! oritel and marion are in this post! 4. ayyyyy inginio hit me up (thank you lol) 5. Thank you! 6. maybe? i’ll see if i get around to it, i still have a few characters to get to so the school fairies and the last two selkies might show up with them 7. probably not.... it would be super fun but unless it was a commission i don’t feel like i have time haha 8. I’ve seen their blog around!! i can’t remember if i follow or not but i know who ur talking about and they cool @winxy-writing @winxys-written-world

Character and Worlbuilding

1. My brilliant nerd daughter!!! She sometimes gets so into coding or a video game she forgets to eat or drink so the girls watch out for her. She’s prone to dissociating, especially if the situation is emotional. Her hair is really soft. she actually loves sappy romantic things but has trouble accepting them or vocalizing that she wants them because they’re impractical/illogical. she discovered romcoms when she got to alfea and they are her ultimate guilty pleasure(only flora knows abt this and is always slipping recs to her) 2. They’re weirdly one of my fav couples??? like maybe its because i relate to and have projected onto both of them lmao. but any ways. Daphne and Thoren actually met when they were kids, but didn’t spend much time together because it was at a formal event. Daphne is technically 20 years older than Thoren(only a few years older than Sky), but they’re the same physical age because Daphne spent so long as a spirit. They probably wouldn’t get married as quickly in my version, especially with Daphne’s trauma. Daphne will have nightmares sometimes and Thoren has a whole routine for comforting her and helping her feel safe and grounded. Thoren gets anxious easily, and Daphne will use her magic to subtly change the environment so he feels more comfortable. they like to watch reality tv together and yell at dramatic people. 3. omg yes. this was the most frustrating thing i was watching through winx with my dad like a month ago and every time bloom called her adoptive parents by their first names i yelled at her lol. she would call Vanessa mama and Mike daddy(if you make a kink joke i will eat your liver). She would call Marion and Oritel mom and dad.  4. Yeah kind of! part of her exhaustion in Dowlland was the fact that she had been in fairy mode for so long, hiking underground, and tossed around in a river like??? anybody would need a pick me up after that. She (and all solarians) do have to live where there’s a lot of natural light as they require a high amount of vitamin d(or the equivalent of it for solarians). short trips usually aren’t a problem, Stella is just hella unlucky in the second season lmao. @moonpeachblossom 5. the short answer as to why she’s a blond (scottish??? in one of the dubs???) in an asian inspired culture/planet is because racism (or not so short bcus its a lot to unpack honestly). the answer in my version however is a pretty simple fix. She bleaches her hair. she’s paler than musa but she aint white.  6. I haven’t really yet!! Helia is struggling with his two fairly opposed cultural influences, trying to figure what he wants and whats right for him. He was raised on Lynphea but had frequent trips to Vaonaa. Lynphea is very grounded, they’re slow and steady and stubborn. Vaonaa is much more flexible, they’re flighty and spontaneous and easily adaptable. Helia’s dads love eachother and helia very much but they are VERY different people and both want different things from Helia(they try not to pressure too much but the expectations are still there). Helia’s Vaonaaj dad wants him to pursue magic, specifically wind or air magic. Helia’s Lynphean dad wants him to become a warrior. Helia feels like he’s kind of a misfit in both Vaonaaj and Lynphean culture. It took a while, but he did finally confide his feelings in Flora and she encouraged him to talk with his dads about finding his niche.  7. oooooooh fun fun relationshipsssss Bloom and Sky: so bloom and sky aren’t the most stable couple, and in my version it would take bloom a little longer to be ok with dating a prince. Bloom is fairly insecure in her relationships because of self worth issues, and tend to run away from problems instead of dealing with them. Sky on the other hand is confident but doesn’t really know how to handle people’s feelings and tends to push confrontation. I do believe that with better writing Sky and bloom could be a dope couple but as is in canon they’re VERY problematic.  Stella and Brandon: babies. they love each other so much its the best omg. Stella finds her worth in her appearance but she always seems to take brandon’s complements in a less.... arrogant way? if that makes sense? like she truly appreciates them and wants his support. i wish we knew more about Brandon but he’s legit such a good boyfriend. I think they fight mostly when Stella is being a little selfish, or when Brandon is too busy to meet her emotional needs. Flora and Helia: MORE BABIES. so Helia is more of a drama queen in the comics but we’ll ignore that for right now lol. Flora and Helia are probably the least problematic couple in the entire show. They met. Flirted a little. Confessed. and started dating with out any major problems. if i can remember correctly they don’t even really fight??? unless icy has frozen helia’s heart or something lol. I think both Helia and Flora’s love language is quality time so they’re fairly low key and just like to be in the same space and each other.   Musa and Riven: boy oh boy. Ok so, ignoring the several times Riven was LITERALLY MIND CONTROLLED his character is still difficult to deal with. I think Musa and Riven are both very intense people, and while that can be super fun and develop into a good relationship, it can also lead to LOTS of problems. I think my major problem with how they broke up was that Musa didn’t support Riven’s training? like i understand being upset you can’t see ur person often, or if they’re really busy, but Riven supported Musa’s music several times in the previous seasons it just seemed weird Musa was so unfairly demanding of him? Tecna and Timmy: nerd babies. They’re super cute honestly. I think Timmy was probably the one to instigate the relationship and bonded with Tecna over technology since she wasn’t super emotionally available at first. They have issues when Tecna is unable to voice her emotions and timmy needs to know what she’s feeling mostly, but after the first few times they’ve both learned to give the other space to figure their stuff out. Aisha and Nabu: ugh perfect couple. minus the kind of sketchy beginning lol. Aisha and Nabu generally don’t fight once they get used to each other. Nabu is a focal point that aisha is kind of bungee corded to if that makes sense? like obvi not in a restricting way. its just Aisha is hella active and needs her own space to explore and grow, but Nabu is her solid ground that she relies on.  Aisha and Nex: i actually don’t hate nex as much as the rest of the fandom lol. so like i said Aisha is an active, independent woman, and if Nabu was a separate, stationary, focal point for her, I think Nex is related, moving, counter point. So like Nex can actually keep up with Aisha, and push her and challenge her. Which isn’t a bad thing in relationships so long as a mutual respect is there.   8. well. canon is a little..... messy. My version of the girls definitely retain their individualism. for other differences... they’re just a little more fleshed out? i guess? like Bloom’s moody behavior in the show i think is because of her insecurity issues, so that plays a part in how i draw her and think of her.  9. ok wow this is gonna be tough well here we go Sky: I think sky is an ESTJ he’s not super emotional(inf Fe) but can lean toward controlling(dom Te). he seems to like tradition and think social promises are important(Si). Brandon: ESFJ. Brandon is the mom friend of the boys ok. He goes along with sky’s crazy plans, tries to subtly set Riven up with musa(season 1 i think?), some how managed to land a social butterfly like Stella and seems to just navigate social situations REALLY easily(dom Fe). he also seems to hate being disrespected or taken for granted(Si) stella does this occasionally.  Timmy: ISFJ???? thats the vibe i get hear me out ok so in season 2 Timmy gets tecna the exact computer part she needs because 1. He knows they both like things to be practical(Si) 2. He knows and remembered the part she was talking about and filed it away in his brain(Ti) and 3. He and Tecna bonded over tech (Fe) Riven: honestly he’s a tough one.... Maybe a really stunted and angry ISFJ? (speaking from personal experience i am an ISFJ) i don’t have a real reason why but riven’s behavior is really confusing in the show so it makes typing tough..... possibly INTJ as well....... Helia: ISFP. Lmao I might be basing this entirely off of stereotypes but helia has a strong pacifist belief and can be moody(Fi, and more in the comics lol) is attuned to his surroundings(Se) seems pretty focused??(Ni) and i can’t think of his Te showing up be it is an inferior  Nabu: ISTJ weirdly a good fit with Aisha(ESTP) tho?? even though he’s an Si dom, he doesn’t go along with the arranged marriage because its not what he believes(Fi) and he’s stubborn about it(Te). Roy: ENFJ honestly just a cutie. He’s personable(Fe), focused for the most part(Ni), and is comfortable in his environment(Se).  Nex: ENTP? maybe?? He’s pretty impulsive and has that “work around” mentality I associate with ENTPs.... idk this one doesn’t seem to fit super well...  Thoren: Maybe INFJ?? i mean thoren honestly doesn’t have a lot of screen time but he’s attentive(Ni), and tries to take care of people(Fe). most of the infj’s i know are fun but weird lol, but i think thoren has anxiety so that could play into him being less “out there” in his behavior.  if any of yall have input on this feel free to let me know. 10. ooooooh good question. So I’m basing these on their parent’s name and the names of people from their planet. Bloom: Hestia or Enya, i also think she got sent to earth with an article of clothing or a blanket that had her name on it, which is why her name is the same lmao Stella: Stella is actually named pretty appropriately considering the other names we have are Luna, Radius, Nova, Chimera, and Casandra, all of those are fairly latin/roman based names.  but she could also be called Clara, Aura, Venus etc. Musa: Her mom and dad have very asian sounding names but the princess of melody is named Galatea, so honestly anything is on the table. Aulos, Hee-Young, Jia Li, Kaida, etc. Tecna: lol everybody on Zenith has ridiculous names so im just loosely basing them off of sciencey stuff. Nobelia, Xenon, Titania. Aisha: I actually really like Aisha’s name! Ayize, Sizani, Mehrbano would work tho. Flora: what even is the naming system of Lynphea i don’t understand it. Im gonna make them vaguely naturey and European-ish?? Calla, Terra, Rowan, Willow, I could go on and on there are so many plant names. 11. Hmmm yeah, so basically in my world a person with TOO MUCH magic gets overwhelmed and kinda goes a little crazy(the ancestral witches) the same thing happens with tritannus when he gets the emperor's throne power. He’s loyal to icy and she to him until he looses his ability to think clearly and turns on icy, icy gets freaked out and leaves with her sisters when they swoop in to rescue her. they don’t so much “break up” as they are “broken up” by the circumstances. In general Tritannus does really like Icy, hes attracted to her ambition and powerful personality. Icy started out just manipulating Tritannus but caught feelings oops 12. Yeah so, humans in general can withstand a lot of wild magic as their body “metabolizes” it quickly. Kalshara(the cat lady you don’t know the name of) used extremely concentrated samples, combined with other spells to keep the wild magic in her body permanently. If a human with out a properly developed magic biome (a lot of earthians only have a low functioning one) get exposed to a wild magic source they would probably gain some aspects of fairy animals, probably not like, fur, or anything but eye and hair color changes, maybe some patterns on the skin. but there’s also the chance that they would just.... die..... cus that happens with animals too lmao sry. @weirdghostly

[not-just-any-fangirl]

for the meme, every even number and if it requires a fic title WHIPS

SEND ME A NUMBER

2. Favorite part of writing.

World building. Hands down. I love coming up with rules and societies and building maps for my stories!

4. Do you have writing habits or rituals?

I always need music, helps me get in the zone while writing. 

6. Favorite character you ever created.

Considering how I write mostly fanfic, I wouldn’t say I’ve really created a character that I’ve let people read. However, for my oc’s that I’ve made I’d have to say Po is my favourite!

8. Favorite trope to write.

Person A thinks they’re a monster and unloveable but person B disagrees and loves them regardless and it’s so pure and my heart

10. Pick a writer to co-write a book with and tell us what you’d write about.

Oh jesus dude I don’t read a lot anymore bcus Exhaustion so I’d have to go with my standard of Rick Riordan and probs a typical ‘youth is chosen one and saves the world’ but with swears and an oprnly bi protag bcus ME

12. How do you deal with self-doubts?

Honestly I think back to things I’ve read before and know i write better than that. Theres still plently I have to work on and learn, but I know for a fcat my writing is a far shot away from some of the things I’ve gotten half a page through and exited out of.

14. What’s the most research you ever put into a book?

HAHAHA.

So much. So much fucking research. Probs WHIPS with researching the spiritual and wiccan meaning of different woods, colours, flowers, other such things, how spells are cast and runage. Listen if I believed in any spirituality I’d probs be wiccan. 

16. Where do you take your motivation from?

Wherever I can find it LMAO. I daydream a lot, so my ideas come from there and hopefully I write them down before they fade too much. 

18. What’s your revision or rewriting process like?

Just constant rereading what I’ve written of the piece so far. I don’t doa  lot of rewrite bcus I let the story go where it wants and post chapter to chapter, so I kinda have to go where I’ve written myself.

20. Post a snippet of a WIP you’re working on.

A memory passed through Lucy like a phantom, her back arching off the wood, papers scattered as she tore at her hair in wild abandon, Natsu’s hand on her hips as he buried himself deep and hard in-

Oh.

Lucy’s breath caught in her throat, her arms tightening around Natsu. She felt him stiffen as well, fingertips biting hard into her hips where he held her.

“Natsu,” Lucy said softly, lips ghosting over the smooth skin of his neck as she spoke, “do you remember the last time you sat me on this desk?”

“I do,” he growled, voice barely reaching more than a rumble that travelled through her bones and resonated in her core.

22. How many drafts do you need until you’re satisfied and a project is ultimately done for you?

What’s a draft lol? I’ve been like this since highschool and it’s a bad habit I suggest everyone revise and edit unlike me24. Poetry or prose, and why?

Both. I mainly write prose but I love free verse poetry, and how you can add beats and a rhythm through speaking alone and the openness to speak in metaphors in poetry.

26. Standalone or series, and why?

I love series bcus I always want to know more about what happened! Writing, however, sucks balls bcus then you have to go back and make sure everything makes sense

28. And who do you share them with?

I share snippets with my close friends and will have them look over something if I can’t figure it out on my own. I like having a beta, but I know life gets in the way and they have their own stuff to write

30. Favorite line you’ve ever written.

I have a couple tbh, and my brain always goes to my funny ones first. I think it’s a tie between fuck fuck fucking fuck. and Happy however did not care about whether something was acceptable in human society, as he was a cat. via WHIPS. My fave non-comedy line would probably be It was beautiful, in the way that forgotten places tended to be. History left untapped and ghosts given reign of the grounds where life had once been. via Implexium Vitae

32. Easiest character to write.

Lucy def

34. Handwritten notes or typed notes?

I hand write designs for runes and layouts, but usually typed notes

36. A spoiler for story WHIPS.

The book Lucy was holding in chap 25 reveals a major plot point in who Zeref is and his motivations :D

38. Have you shared your outline of your story WHIPS with someone? If so, what did they think of it?

I’ve shared it with @hannah-nobody and I think she liked it! Def helped me work out some pacing and early ideas

40. Original Fiction or Fanfiction, and why?

I write mainly fanfic just bcus I love to tell stories and join the community and friends I meet through them! Would love to work on my own ocs at some point tho. 

42. How do you figure out your characters looks, personality, etc.

I look at what they might like, what would help them, what would hold them back. I try to humanize them and throw in traits me or my friends have, which helps keep their character grounded as well so they aren’t all perfect from the start!

44. Best piece of feedback you’ve ever gotten.

On one of the earlier chapters of whips a girl told me how my inclusion of the wiccan AU made her feel closer to a friend she had lost to cancer and dude that still stays with me. Otherwise most of my growth has been me reading and seeing where my own writing falls short and changing. 

46. What would your story WHIPS look like as a tv show or movie? 

I hope it would be one of those fun and silly half hour shows that has like the sudden DARK plot reveal that’s actually been there under the surface the entire time. Either real or anime is eh. 

48. Favorite genre to write in.

Everyday comedy, I think. So the drama still feels natural and theres real conflicts, but its still a little dumb and goofy and hyperbolic. Brooklyn 99 ish. 

50. Weirdest story idea you’ve ever had.

Fucking ‘cursed Pinocchio penis’ is the worst idea I’ve ever had and I blame you Alisha.

52. How did writing change you?

I met so many friends through writing and all caps yelling with each other about story ideas

54. Any writing advice you want to share?

Don’t be afraid to experiment and know when to disregard and when to accept critique of your writing! 

[coyotec-blog1]

 i feel like mccree never particularly liked jack. & that thought / idea started out from preplaced prejudiced based on his background ; something he’s let go of now that he’s Older but from the perspective of a young kid who has only ever known poverty & has never had a single opportunity to take besides the ones he’s wrestling out of dead hands, morrison is entirely unattractive. a financially well endowed military man who grew up in iowa with a proper farm and intact family. he’s mccree’s definition of a PIG and jacks first impressions don’t play well off of him either.

NOTE : almost all of this plays off of or final perception & my own headcanons.  based a lot also on context of threads i did on mccree when my url was @vauquero​ and this also frequently refrences my headcanon history post which can be found here. initially written on mobile so excuse me pls.

and all of that that’s because morrison plays off of morals. he plays his stance and voices his opinions based on what’s present on report papers and how mccree reacted and conversed at that time - and as someone who’s still a kid, put into a situation that personally injured him (i HC he was shot in an earlier gunfight & injured in other misc ways before he was properly arrested) that he had no control over whatsoever, which was entirely Unlike even his circumstance in deadlock because he always had a say in what happened there, so you can imagine that mccree fought with his words and cursed as much as he could. there’s no excusing what he did in deadlock but there’s good reason why he’s SCARED at that point. morrison’s kind of interrogating and downplaying is exactly the kind that makes mccree hate a person.

Jack’s approach was biased and didn’t address what he did so much as why it’s awful he did it & why he personally thought so - all those opinions were valid bcus he was talking to. You Know. A notorious murderer and drug trafficker but it sat with mccree anyway. & it’s mostly because he’s had bad experience with people in that position of authority.

mccree wasn’t particularly a BAD PERSON when he was younger (12-15 ish younger) but he got into a lot of trouble on account of petty trespassing (this was for fun, admittedly) and pickpocketing, which was all out of necessity. his mother didn’t make much at all and he wanted her to have more or generally provide in any way possible so asides from the small work he managed to get he’d steal on top of that too, & it’s easy to figure that the cops who got to him were Shitty to a kid with no positive hand to excuse  or dismiss him. & that authority never addressed what mccree might have to say about what really happened, and they never asked WHY he did it. it was never about what he stole, which weren’t ever things a kid would take just for enjoyment.   they just said what they felt and that was it, & he got the shit end of the stick for it every time.

that kind of thing correlates pretty closely with jack. this isn’t intended to demonise Morrison or anything, btw. his comments were probably entirely In Place because, again, reminder: he’s talking to a murderer, an addict, a drug & weapons distributor, and one who is notorious for his violence at that. There are things to despise in this context and mccree himself is opinionated in this way - his own morals dictate his own righteousness and his tone of voice, just like Morrison. he’s sympathetic to people like himself but alienating of those who contradict that image. Just Like Jack. buts he’s a kid, and he’s scared, and he especially doesn’t care to try and draw personal correlations between himself and his interrogator at that time.

and that alienation of criminals vs sympathy to the opposite just seemed a lot more prejudiced and a lot more Against mccree as a person (rather than against his Crimes) when in stark contrast i feel like Gabriel was….. not exactly sympathetic with him // but at least played the situation as one without any added harshness? mccree was guilty of several crimes and that included heavy drug distribution & use, illegal weapon trade, murder, and a hell of a lot More. but reyes was respectable in everything he said. He talked Facts with no added emotion. the only comment he ever really made in regards to his condensed self-perception of the situation were along the lines of “you fucked Up, kid”. Along with that everything he said was just. procedural interrogation questions that even dipped into ulterior motive, like why he was even there in the First Place since mccree was so young. jesse didn’t answer those questions but the fact that they were asked made the circumstances feel a lot more Different.

On top of all that is the fact that i hc mccree was under extremely tight security when he first joined blackwatch & why wouldn’t he be? he’s not exactly Trustworthy yet and his track record is everything but clean, especially with added details of his infamous Violence acquired after interrogating other deadlock members caught up in the arrest as well. he was locked in his room upon entering / only allowed access to other rooms within a particular time frame / was personally accompanied by another person in between these rooms (unless it was otherwise allowed he go alone) & while he was out of his room mccree was subject to random searches, none of which disrupted his arrangement but it showed that despite being a part of this organization he still wasn’t trusted. they still thought he’d find a way to get drugs & use them instead of accepting treatment for his addiction(and because mccree didn’t fully entail the extent of that addiction he ended up using them a little in balckwatch anyway / but the lack of trust thing is still there!!) i feel like jack was righteously Suspicious of mccree was things went wrong but if it really wasn’t him that still hurt.  and angela was also kind of the same way with him @ this time but that’s another topic to be discussed.

the decision about security was probably pretty unanimous between jack& gabe and a variety of all else. But mccree blamed Jack for it anyhow bcus after his first interrogation he more or less titled gabriel as a Self Respecting, Hard-Shelled But Sympathetic Commander and jack as the Morally Passionate, But Sometimes Too Much Commander (which he really couldn’t forgive at the time despite the empathetic title, lmao).

but yeah mccree….. did not like jack at first.  he didn’t go out of his way to state this.  he didn’t talk to him with any kind of venom in his voice but he was CAUTIOUS for years in blackwatch despite the growing assuredness that the commander wouldn’t do anything to him, he just wasn’t quick to warm up ; that’s all. now that he’s older i imagine his opinion has changed a lot and he’s more willing to look at the past and makes correlations between morrison & him but at the same time that’s. Hard. just like it’s hard to look back at Anything in blackwatch after switzerland.

[rosejardine-blog]

Blog Eight. Week Eight. Nov 13th

These weeks reading for reflexive practice:

Caroline Kierulf Printmaking and multiple temporalities Journal of Visual Art Practice Vol. 14, Iss. 3, 201

Reflective thoughts

So much to learn in the new language of art. Temporalities Exgenesis Tacit. They are all vehicles to equipping me with a language to express things that I cannot show. Metaphysical, I guess? 

Demarcations in so much knowledge seems artificial in practice. There are no absolute delineations. Phenomenological, Metaphysical, Psychoanalytic. The work can possess all. It makes me think deeply about the nature of knowledge itself. For this reason I have been reading the grand master on knowledge: Michel Foucault.     

Foucault, Michel. Power/Knowledge, Brighton: Harvester. 

(1980)Foucault, Michel. (1991) (first published in 1984) ‘What is an author’ in Paul Rainbow 

After the practice described below, I also began to think about the merging and separation of colours on the lino prints. There is such a starkness to them.

I looked up Albers on colours   

Albers, Anni. Albers Foundation Available at http://www.albersfoundation.org/

Practice

I completed several full day length tuition sessions with Justin the Print Room technician again. He has been kind enough to allow me to attend all the first year BA introductions. These sessions have been very thorough and detailed. Here are some details and photo from my Lino and Woodcut Sessions and Paper Tearing etc:

I took a lot of notes as it was fascinating. Excuse my shorthand noteform.

Print Room Notes

Squeezing and touching all the papers 

Independent working when trusted! 

The different types of paper grain are important in printmaking The paper grain is stringy if pushed against

Rough Not  Hot Pressed

Rough is rough Not is in between Ish and hot pressed is smooth Lots of terms to learn in paper knowledge

Gampi fine sheen Duchet pronounced douche is rough - embossing? Check the gram of papers Get to know them

John Purcell paper London Somerset velvet etc Ask for samples 400-600 gram (Check out 20x20 hot bed press print exchange)

Consider what supports you are using (what you are printing on?) Canvas Leather Paper Plastic

Paper Tearing Deckol - Torn edge Moving paper around - hold it by its weight each edge

Back tear paper Boning tool Folding tool Zines Match corners Will need to get registration correct - draw around it and mark on back of plate if poss Use a straight edge - big steel ruler Use the straight edge of this not the slating edge! Use weight to hold ruler down firmly and tear towards you Vary the tear

Registration - This is hugely important Mark the paper and the Lino Light fold Number (So that it always sits in the same place as you add different colours etc) Some may tape it? Hand burnishing - printing without a press

Other issues

Types of wood types of tools etc

Wood cutting. Bring own set of tools. You can begin to construct this. Not too pliable Wire brush can create texture. You can alter and tailor tools. Go to car boots pick up old tools. Sharpen adjust etc. Also look for wood and mdf etc in skips. Whittle. Sharpen chisels etc

Learn about Japanese wood cuts Horikoshi great wave Mount fugitive etc What is the composite?

The grain of wood. Pine Oak Ash Box wood Dremmos Bouncers

Thomas Buick Metal engraving tools Thinking tools? Intaglio

Different colours for different blocks Suicide method? Reduction method

Process we followed

Cutting out Lino Print then cut out more Print with different colour

Wood Cut out Print Ghost print etc

Angles shallow Do not want to create bellies to a line

Mushroom button shaped tools Place in heal of hand Rotate the piece ( see cross hatching Michael Angelo) Create tone

The marks you cut out will be the whites on the print Same tools for wood and Lino

Start with lightest colour first for Lino print Go back and cut out some more Couloirs ( green over yellow to make red?)

Gouges name of tool Kiss of the ink Andrew Coleman

Critical Evaluation

Here are some important Notes on Critical Evaluation that Esther posted on facebook: It was written for the CET full timers, but I can use it still.

Critical Evaluation is a means by which you reflect upon and critically evaluate your arts-based and/ or written practice in an objective manner. The completion of this form provides an opportunity for you to survey your arts-based and/ or written submissions, comment upon them and where appropriate to review your direction. You should also reflect upon your experience and participation as a whole. It should provide the basis for your development. You are invited to give details of the nature of your submission/s, identify what you regard the key achievements to be in the Stage you have just completed. Please identify what you regard the strengths, weakness and issues of importance to be. Practice led students should also give details of reading material appropriate to their individual study.

Observations

You are invited to give details of the nature of your submission/s, (What was it? Title? materials ? where is was sited,? what was included ? )

Identify what you regard the key achievements to be in the Stage you have just completed. What is the biggest thing(s) you achieved in developing and putting the work in CET and build up to it ?

Evaluation

Identify what you regard the strengths, weakness and issues of importance to be.(as it says – applied to your work in this show)

You should also reflect upon your experience and participation as a whole What did you do in your groups and what did you learn, how was it to adapt and deal with practical challenges of showing at CET, did you make new relationships and connections to BCU and has this made you think about being an artists in future and what you are good at, how you work in a team, resolve problems with your work others and the space you might be in?)

Review your direction.  (what would you like to do now to develop this work , what ambitions do you have for your practice or this part of your work, how has this made you think about the direction your work is going in to progress challenge and experiment, can you take other risks or a different nature now or read more about idea or types of practice?) Reading Material (where appropriate) (Please also include a link to your blog)

Should also give details of reading material appropriate to their individual study. What are your theory or book references or artists or history you reference ?

Websites portfolios bogs etc if you have them? Student’s Signature: esther windsor

Rose Likely Version Components: The nature  of the submission  included technical report, works in a range of materials including and in depth production of print materials. Process evidence.

Critical Evaluation Ongoing reflection and critical Evaluation took place throughout the research period. This is recorded in supplementary documentation.

Key achievements included an improved knowledge of research led practice Learning from process

Review your direction The learning in this module identified gaps in knowledge and exciting paths to expand

Documentation/Evidence Blog Written submission Portfolio/presentation Website