#a lot of these have very disturbing content so dont check them out if thats not for you

[dateamonster]

i saw on your storygraph that youve read Playground by Aron Beauregard and gave it 1.5 stars. a coworker told me about the book and i was debating if i should read or if it would just be mental torment. what were your thoughts on the book?

first of all yayy i love when people check out my storygraph! now about playground, i should give a sorta disclaimer that i try not to rate books predominantly based on like my own enjoyment of them or agreement with the text as much as on how well i think the author achieved what they seemed to be trying to do. i didnt hate the book. at least, ive seen a lot of people responding to it with this sentiment of like "wtf a book like this should never have been made" and i seriously disagree with that. that said, i just don't think its very good lol.

imo it falls into the trap a lot of indie extreme horror writing does where it feels so in love with its own gratuitous grossness and shock value that it loses a lot of its impact as a whole. the writings not bad, most of the time, but you can sorta tell which scenes were the author really straining to disturb the audience as much as possible, and its not like it was entirely unaffective. just... mostly.

storywise... there were a lot of characters and most of them got very little development, especially the ones that actually stood to be somewhat interesting. it rushes pretty quick into the horror so theres not really any sense of anticipation, and from there its just kind of beat after beat after beat with no escalation or sense of resolution. there are aspects i find interesting- a multi level saw trap styled after a massive playground is a really fun concept imo, and the dynamics of one particular family make me wish it was kinda just about that family so the story could go deeper into their unique disfunctions, but the end result didnt really do it for me.

i think theres a lot of attention payed to the more shocking, grotesque aspects of the book in an "omg what did i just read aaa get the eye bleach" kinda way, and thats fair lol its pretty intense, but imo that discussion kinda distracts from the fact that its just really not a very good story. id probably check out a future book of arons because i think theres potential for growth but playground was not it for me.

thats my review! if it sounds like something youd be interested in evaluating for yourself, go for it! imo i dont think theres anything to be lost by reading a even bad book for yourself. but like definitely worth looking up the content warnings if you do.

[yunyundere]

(mostly denpa) vns that i refuse to not eventually see properly translated:

Jisatsu no Tame no Houhou 101

Kizuato

Shizuku

Tsui No Sora (Remake)

Kusarihime ~euthanasia~

Sayonara wo Oshiete

AIR

Subarashiki Hibi: Knockin' on Heaven's Door (not a full vn but still want tl......)

ToHeart and ToHeart2

Omega no Shikai -1. Shiki no Hajimari-

Umi Kara Kuru Mono

[yukisnowywriting]

Cant Help Falling In Love With You

Kagura x y/n

genre : fluff, just very romantic heart warming fluff

warning : some curse words, and me simping for Kagura

a/n : well if you youve looked at my fanarts in ig (@michelle.pc.yk) you prob know how much of a simp i am for Kagura, and its been a few... years since i started liking Kagura (and fuck hes still standing number one), and i see that theres not much kagura x y/n fanfics out there so i thought why not make some. And i feel like i should just make some so i hope this adds more content to those who loves Kagura too, enjoy, And im the one who drew the fanart, please dont reupload it without permission!

summary : theres always two people in love, but theres something more of the love these two hold for each other. Despite their own insecurities, they cant help falling in love with each other.

-----

"Kagura... sorry, i mustve troubled you a lot... You know what? its okay! leave the boxes to me! it was my duty at first anyways, you should go now"

"huh... its okay, I could help you, and i dont have anything to do anyways, i only need to drop by the Mizuage office for a few minutes, and then im completely free."

"...then im wasting your free time... sorry"

"definitely not, spending time with you in my free time is more than enough for me." Kagura smiles softly at the person right beside him trying to calm them down from their anxiety of wasting his time. 'How can such a perfect person be so insecure about themself' he thought to himself

"okay ill stop here, thank you for heping me! please ask me anything u want, i will try to give it to you cuz youve been helping me too much! anything!" y/n says with a hint of anxiety on their face

"dont think of it too much, like I said, Im free after this, and if you are free to, how about a walk downtown? theres some new shops we could check out, maybe find something interesting there" He says as he sees her face light up with excitement 'so cute...'

"i-if its okay with you then okay! ill meet you at ******! thank you hehe~" y/n says smiling yet so beautifully

"okay, ill be there in a while"

they part ways, each awaiting the simple moments they get to spend together with the other.

-----

As the two of you stroll around downtown, the two of you never thought that something just as being beside someone could be this happy for them

but the more you walk to one shop to another, the more people began whispering

"i cant believe they kept the descendant of a murderer alive""how is he still laughing eventhough he knows how the fourth mizukage was..." "that person beside them... such poor soul, was it force?"

y/n was getting quite disturbed of this, the fact that many people judge another without knowing them first makes her feel sick and scared.

"Hey... if you feel uncomfortable walking with me, you could just leave, its okay." Kagura says normally yet there was a hint of sadness in his face.

y/n refuse his suggestion, "I like spending time with you, and what do i have to fear when the person i know is not like what they say. People will know you better when time comes so im okay, but if it bothers you, then I will do my best to suppport you. Im not as storng nor am I smart like you, but ill be a great friend! ...atleast if thats okay with you?" y/n says with a happy voice

Kagura giggles at your statement and his heart felt so warm "okay then. Theres a new bakery there, my treat, shall we go now?" he says with his charming smile.

"thank you!" you take his hand and walk to that store 'hes so perfect...'

-----

as the sun sets, the sky turning to a beautiful orange color, and the sea reflecting its beauty, two people sits on a platform, enjoying the moments before night falls.

"Something I like from Kirigakure is how beautiful the sunset is! How the sea reflects the sunset is just perfect, dont you think so Kagura?" y/n says, eyes fixed on the beauty.

"Yes , it is indeed beautiful. A very great view" But, his actions are againts his words. He has his eyes fixed on y/n, a gentle orange light reflecting on their hair, their eyes reflecting the beautiful mix of colors from the sunset.

He bring his hand up beside y/n's ear, putting strands of y/n hair behind their ear, he gently smile as y/n turns their head to him and then they see a very gentle warm smile on Kagura's face.

"I love you, y/n"

even with each other knowing the problematic situation each other are in, one being imprissoned by his bloodline and one insecure of their own being, they just cant help but fall in love with each other.

-----

my requests are open for any ideas (except nsfw)!

im so fckin in love with Kagura dammit.

I cant help falling in love with him eventhough knowing he doesnt have that much content-

Kagura simps let us be friends!

[drkcnry67]

let us have delayed fun!

title: Let Us Have Delayed Fun

pairing: Jensen x reader

fluff 2020 sq: delayed flights

kink 2020 sq: masturbation

rating: 18+ 

tags: heavy flirtation, some dirty dancing type thing, discreet sexual acts in public, guy fingering girl discreetly on the dancefloor in crowd of people, guy fingering girl in a crowded elevator

summery: not telling

created for @spnfluffbingo​  @spnkinkbingo​

fluff 2020 masterlist      part 1    kink 2020 masterlist

it hadnt been very long, actually but an hour since you both had set eyes on eachother. departing at the security gate you both went to wait for your respected flights home but after an hour a storm warning delayed all the outgoing flights. 

you both took your luggage and had the same idea, give the attendants your phone numbers to be alerted when the flights are ready to leave again, head to the nearest hotel and drink/dance the hours away…

this hotel just happened to be the same damn hotel (hyatt regency orlando international airport hotel) for it was just outside the hotel that you heard your name being called.

Jensen: “YN… YN wait up!”

you turned around to be face to face once more with Jensen… it was torture but it was better than being alone… 

Jensen: “thank goodness i caught up to you… i have been screaming your name for the entire walk from the desk in the airport to here…”

YN: “sorry i had ear buds in… let me guess your flight got delayed too..?”

jensen: “yes it did, how bout to save money we share a room… it would be a whole hell of a lot less boring…”

YN: “why not but we need to go dancing, i am gonna go stir crazy if i dont fall to a beat…”

Jensen: “it will happen, but first i think we need to get into something hot and sexy to blend in at the club…”

you nod as Jensen with his suitcase comes beside you and your suitcase both of you walking into the hotel. 

desk personal: “can i help you?”

Jensen: “yes we would like to check in, our flights got delayed…”

Desk personal: “i will need a name to charge the room under as well a card to charge it too…”

Jensen with his dashing smile pulled out his wallet and took out one of his cards.

Jensen: “name is Jensen Ackles. and ill charge this to Visa please. and make sure the room is non smoking with a balcony.”

Desk Personal: “of course mr Ackles. please tap when your ready and one of you will need to sign this agreement its just a standard agreement saying you wont destroy the rooms or anything like that…”

You looked at Jensen and then you took the pen and signed the paper… 

YN: “we are just smart enough to wait somewhere comfortable till this storm passes… however long it takes… we dont care…”

Desk personal: “ah yes well storms usually last about 2-3 days depending on the level of the storm. it will be a while so yes you both are very smart in waiting someplace comfortable. now here is your room key you are in room 405 enjoy your stay and welcome to the Hyatt regency Orlando international airport hotel.”

you take the room key and shove it in the corner of your bra so you can take your suitcase in one hand while Jensen take your hand with his free hand. he keeps eyeing you, like he wants to jump you right then right there. 

Jensen: “you know if you wear something with easy access you and i will have some fun on the dancefloor. some very heated decreet fun..”

he flashed you another one of his charming smiles. this made your knees feel week. both of you got into the elevator pushing the button to go to the floor to go to your room. 

YN: “there is a club down the road calld Noches Azul, i hear its a popular and amazing place for those who like to move with the beat of their own drum.”

Jensen: “then we shall dress to the appropriate color too… ladies first.”

he says as the elevator doors opened. you walked out first and started down the hall slowly till Jensen stepped off the elevator then it was fair game you turned and blew him a kiss before taking off down the hall. 

Jensen dropped his luggage beside yours in front of your door and pursured you, when he caught you he picked you up bridal style before reaching in to grab the key card out of your bra with his teeth.

 then using your free hand you slid it in the door Jensen used his elbow to push the door open. he carried you placing you on the bed placing ferverous kisses all over your body.

this continued for several moments before you both pulled back and smiled.

YN: “if we dont get off of this bed we wont make it dancing… we want to have some discreet fun dont we?”

Jensen groaned at you, but of course he knew you were right…

Jensen: “your right. so what are you wearing tonight?”

YN: “stay right here and ill show you…”

you go into the other room away from Jensen’s view and you put on the little blue dress you had found  at the airport. it just happened to fit the bill… once the dress was on you put all your stuff nice-ishly back where it was.

YN: “Jensen play Sexy Back… i want to see your reaction to me in this dress with this song.”

you listen for the start of the song, it starts and you wait for the bridge, where you begin to move slowly then you began to move into view along the wall when the chorus started. 

as you continued to move your body on the corner of the wall you watched Jensen’s eyes not leave your form. you could see the lust in his eye, you could see the way his lips curled and the way he licked his lips. it turned you on so bad. 

Jensen: “when did you pick this little number up?”

YN: “at the airport after i passed security, i went to grab a snack and came out with this dress. what do you think?”

Jensen: “i love it, it is exactly what will help this night to go smoothly. as well as it just looks smashing on you.”

Jensen had already stopped the song, you continued to stand against the wall, but Jensen figured he had to find something hot for himself to wear. you waited paitently for him to come back wearing the navy shirt along with some Jeans. 

you let out a whistle for that shirt brought out his features very well. you had your leather jacket on the couch near by, Jensen had his in hand as well, you handed him your id to keep in his wallet along with the key card. 

in moments you were off walking through the small area to the club. where you both would dance and dance till your hearts content or till you both felt so hot and heavy that it would be beneficial if you were anywhere but there. 

arriving you both showd your id and were let inside. you both checked your jackets and Jensen stuck the check stubs in his wallet. you both went straight to the dance floor. you were glued to Jensen like a dirty shirt. 

no one would dare to mess with either of you. finding a nice darkish spot on the dancefloor private enough for some “secret” fun. 

both of you now taking part in the music, the beat coursing through your forms, your shared forms blending not missing a single beat no one around you paid any attention. 

under the dimest spotlight there was, you and Jensen now stood making yourselves as comfortable as could be. the beat taking over, the feeling of Jensen’s hands roaming your body, this made your pussy very very wet. 

Jensen(whispering in your ear): “grind my fingers baby keep dancing.”

you did as commanded, you were so wet and had orgasmed 5 times by the time the song was done. thats when Jensen pulled his fingers back again before you could orgasm again, he once more leaned down to whisper.

Jensen (whispering): “squirt for me baby!”

Jensen once more dipped his fingers hard into your soaking wet pussy. the silent moans, the rest of the club clueless as fuck and the feeling of Jensen’s fingers diving deeper and deeper into your pussy.

 your body kept moving trying to contain any signs that you were discreetly being masturbated by a man you have only known for a month. this was your normal, this felt right in more ways than one. 

Jensen had been there for you from the first day you met him. till now you had been completely alone, no man had entered your life long enough to even have your first kiss, long enough to ever make it as far as you had with Jensen. to be feeling these feelings made you wonder if he felt it to. 

truth was he was completely feeling the same thing you were this was how you first swiruted, this was the man you knew was to be your present as well as your future. 

in that moment you didnt care, you knew eventually your flights would take you both home seperately and probably your paths would never cross again. but in this moment it felt like heaven on earth. 

Jensen hit one sweet spot and you squirted, discreetly you and Jensen giggling and smiling walked out of that club as fast as possible remembering to grab your coats on the way out. 

arriving outside the club and walking back to the hotel you both laughed, for it was to be destiny that would give you both the biggest surprise ever. 

arriving back at the hotel you both stumble up to the room, shutting the door again ending up in eachothers arms on the bed, the clothes you guys had been wearing were now all over the floor, and both of you were now cuddled in bed having just done sex for what felt like the millionth time during this entire trip.

reality started to sink in when the phone calls came in 6 hours later, this was when it sunk in. both of you looked at the clock it read 3:30am this was the time that the delay was no more. this was when you were both disturbed to get up get repacked and get ready for your flights home. 

Jensen: “ill never forget the time we spent together. i left you something in your suitcase. you will find it and know what it means when the time comes. i also took down your address and phone number ill be sending you little things to show you i havent forgotten.”

YN: “i feel the same way but once we leave here, why would you waste time on a non celeb like me. i mean sure maybe our friends set us up but we wont know that till we confront them. i should have said this sooner but before i get on this plane there is something you should know. i think i have fallen for you. but i know not what to think at this moment. i took down your number as well, please understand that i may not communicate right away but thats cause i have a best friend whose anxiously awaiting my return home.”

Jensen: “same here, but please let me know when you do arrive home. i would like to know you arrived safely.”

Jensen helped you once more by helping you with your bags as he walked by your side to the airport and up to the check in once more to get your updated tickets and then it was time to part once more in such sweet sorrow. 

you and jensen let go of your bags and hugged it out once more before parting to your respected gates. but you whispered in his ear when you hugged him.

YN: “i will let you know when im back on home soil. i will always remember your touch.”

Jensen and you parted and went on your way. arriving home you sent Jensen a text.

YN (texting Jensen): “hey Jensen its YN. i am back on home soil and i already miss your embrace. i am heading to baggage to collect my luggage, then to meet my best friend in the lobby. home hasnt changed. let me know when you land and what your seeing too. ill look forward to being in more correspondance with you soon <3″

you grabbed your bag and went down the escalator straight into the arms of your best friend. you broke down as soon as you hit her embrace. she just stood there hugging you not caring that either of you were in public, you both stood there as you cried.

Beth: “what happened girl?”

YN: “long story short the trip was amazing, but i fear i have fallen in love with someone i might never seen again. i missed you.”

Beth: “come on lets get you out of here and back home.”

you both exited the airport and went back home. later when you were alone you looked at your phone and saw a messgae from jensen.

Jensen (via text): “hey beautiful i made it home to, i know how you feel, it feels weird to be home again. my best friend is waiting i just grabbed my luggage. i hope everything goes well. till we speak again. i miss you too <3″

that was the message that sent you into a suspended sleep your bestie crawled into bed after she was done her work. she didnt care that you were passed out. she was just happy that you were home.

Jensen had a similar greeting from his best friend and returned home to his large and half empty bed also falling into a suspended sleep all he could think about was you. 

*to be continued*

[legion1993]

Let us have Delayed Fun

title: Let Us Have Delayed Fun

pairing: Jensen x reader

fluff 2020 sq: delayed flights

kink 2020 sq: masturbation

rating: 18+ 

tags: heavy flirtation, some dirty dancing type thing, discreet sexual acts in public, guy fingering girl discreetly on the dancefloor in crowd of people, guy fingering girl in a crowded elevator

summery: not telling

created for @spnfluffbingo​  @spnkinkbingo​

fluff 2020 masterlist      part 1    kink 2020 masterlist

it hadnt been very long, actually but an hour since you both had set eyes on eachother. departing at the security gate you both went to wait for your respected flights home but after an hour a storm warning delayed all the outgoing flights. 

you both took your luggage and had the same idea, give the attendants your phone numbers to be alerted when the flights are ready to leave again, head to the nearest hotel and drink/dance the hours away…

this hotel just happened to be the same damn hotel (hyatt regency orlando international airport hotel) for it was just outside the hotel that you heard your name being called.

Jensen: “YN… YN wait up!”

you turned around to be face to face once more with Jensen… it was torture but it was better than being alone… 

Jensen: “thank goodness i caught up to you… i have been screaming your name for the entire walk from the desk in the airport to here…”

YN: “sorry i had ear buds in… let me guess your flight got delayed too..?”

jensen: “yes it did, how bout to save money we share a room… it would be a whole hell of a lot less boring…”

YN: “why not but we need to go dancing, i am gonna go stir crazy if i dont fall to a beat…”

Jensen: “it will happen, but first i think we need to get into something hot and sexy to blend in at the club…”

you nod as Jensen with his suitcase comes beside you and your suitcase both of you walking into the hotel. 

desk personal: “can i help you?”

Jensen: “yes we would like to check in, our flights got delayed…”

Desk personal: “i will need a name to charge the room under as well a card to charge it too…”

Jensen with his dashing smile pulled out his wallet and took out one of his cards.

Jensen: “name is Jensen Ackles. and ill charge this to Visa please. and make sure the room is non smoking with a balcony.”

Desk Personal: “of course mr Ackles. please tap when your ready and one of you will need to sign this agreement its just a standard agreement saying you wont destroy the rooms or anything like that…”

You looked at Jensen and then you took the pen and signed the paper… 

YN: “we are just smart enough to wait somewhere comfortable till this storm passes… however long it takes… we dont care…”

Desk personal: “ah yes well storms usually last about 2-3 days depending on the level of the storm. it will be a while so yes you both are very smart in waiting someplace comfortable. now here is your room key you are in room 405 enjoy your stay and welcome to the Hyatt regency Orlando international airport hotel.”

you take the room key and shove it in the corner of your bra so you can take your suitcase in one hand while Jensen take your hand with his free hand. he keeps eyeing you, like he wants to jump you right then right there. 

Jensen: “you know if you wear something with easy access you and i will have some fun on the dancefloor. some very heated decreet fun..”

he flashed you another one of his charming smiles. this made your knees feel week. both of you got into the elevator pushing the button to go to the floor to go to your room. 

YN: “there is a club down the road calld Noches Azul, i hear its a popular and amazing place for those who like to move with the beat of their own drum.”

Jensen: “then we shall dress to the appropriate color too… ladies first.”

he says as the elevator doors opened. you walked out first and started down the hall slowly till Jensen stepped off the elevator then it was fair game you turned and blew him a kiss before taking off down the hall. 

Jensen dropped his luggage beside yours in front of your door and pursured you, when he caught you he picked you up bridal style before reaching in to grab the key card out of your bra with his teeth.

 then using your free hand you slid it in the door Jensen used his elbow to push the door open. he carried you placing you on the bed placing ferverous kisses all over your body.

this continued for several moments before you both pulled back and smiled.

YN: “if we dont get off of this bed we wont make it dancing… we want to have some discreet fun dont we?”

Jensen groaned at you, but of course he knew you were right…

Jensen: “your right. so what are you wearing tonight?”

YN: “stay right here and ill show you…”

you go into the other room away from Jensen’s view and you put on the little blue dress you had found  at the airport. it just happened to fit the bill… once the dress was on you put all your stuff nice-ishly back where it was.

YN: “Jensen play Sexy Back… i want to see your reaction to me in this dress with this song.”

you listen for the start of the song, it starts and you wait for the bridge, where you begin to move slowly then you began to move into view along the wall when the chorus started. 

as you continued to move your body on the corner of the wall you watched Jensen’s eyes not leave your form. you could see the lust in his eye, you could see the way his lips curled and the way he licked his lips. it turned you on so bad. 

Jensen: “when did you pick this little number up?”

YN: “at the airport after i passed security, i went to grab a snack and came out with this dress. what do you think?”

Jensen: “i love it, it is exactly what will help this night to go smoothly. as well as it just looks smashing on you.”

Jensen had already stopped the song, you continued to stand against the wall, but Jensen figured he had to find something hot for himself to wear. you waited paitently for him to come back wearing the navy shirt along with some Jeans. 

you let out a whistle for that shirt brought out his features very well. you had your leather jacket on the couch near by, Jensen had his in hand as well, you handed him your id to keep in his wallet along with the key card. 

in moments you were off walking through the small area to the club. where you both would dance and dance till your hearts content or till you both felt so hot and heavy that it would be beneficial if you were anywhere but there. 

arriving you both showd your id and were let inside. you both checked your jackets and Jensen stuck the check stubs in his wallet. you both went straight to the dance floor. you were glued to Jensen like a dirty shirt. 

no one would dare to mess with either of you. finding a nice darkish spot on the dancefloor private enough for some “secret” fun. 

both of you now taking part in the music, the beat coursing through your forms, your shared forms blending not missing a single beat no one around you paid any attention. 

under the dimest spotlight there was, you and Jensen now stood making yourselves as comfortable as could be. the beat taking over, the feeling of Jensen’s hands roaming your body, this made your pussy very very wet. 

Jensen(whispering in your ear): “grind my fingers baby keep dancing.”

you did as commanded, you were so wet and had orgasmed 5 times by the time the song was done. thats when Jensen pulled his fingers back again before you could orgasm again, he once more leaned down to whisper.

Jensen (whispering): “squirt for me baby!”

Jensen once more dipped his fingers hard into your soaking wet pussy. the silent moans, the rest of the club clueless as fuck and the feeling of Jensen’s fingers diving deeper and deeper into your pussy.

 your body kept moving trying to contain any signs that you were discreetly being masturbated by a man you have only known for a month. this was your normal, this felt right in more ways than one. 

Jensen had been there for you from the first day you met him. till now you had been completely alone, no man had entered your life long enough to even have your first kiss, long enough to ever make it as far as you had with Jensen. to be feeling these feelings made you wonder if he felt it to. 

truth was he was completely feeling the same thing you were this was how you first swiruted, this was the man you knew was to be your present as well as your future. 

in that moment you didnt care, you knew eventually your flights would take you both home seperately and probably your paths would never cross again. but in this moment it felt like heaven on earth. 

Jensen hit one sweet spot and you squirted, discreetly you and Jensen giggling and smiling walked out of that club as fast as possible remembering to grab your coats on the way out. 

arriving outside the club and walking back to the hotel you both laughed, for it was to be destiny that would give you both the biggest surprise ever. 

arriving back at the hotel you both stumble up to the room, shutting the door again ending up in eachothers arms on the bed, the clothes you guys had been wearing were now all over the floor, and both of you were now cuddled in bed having just done sex for what felt like the millionth time during this entire trip.

reality started to sink in when the phone calls came in 6 hours later, this was when it sunk in. both of you looked at the clock it read 3:30am this was the time that the delay was no more. this was when you were both disturbed to get up get repacked and get ready for your flights home. 

Jensen: “ill never forget the time we spent together. i left you something in your suitcase. you will find it and know what it means when the time comes. i also took down your address and phone number ill be sending you little things to show you i havent forgotten.”

YN: “i feel the same way but once we leave here, why would you waste time on a non celeb like me. i mean sure maybe our friends set us up but we wont know that till we confront them. i should have said this sooner but before i get on this plane there is something you should know. i think i have fallen for you. but i know not what to think at this moment. i took down your number as well, please understand that i may not communicate right away but thats cause i have a best friend whose anxiously awaiting my return home.”

Jensen: “same here, but please let me know when you do arrive home. i would like to know you arrived safely.”

Jensen helped you once more by helping you with your bags as he walked by your side to the airport and up to the check in once more to get your updated tickets and then it was time to part once more in such sweet sorrow. 

you and jensen let go of your bags and hugged it out once more before parting to your respected gates. but you whispered in his ear when you hugged him.

YN: “i will let you know when im back on home soil. i will always remember your touch.”

Jensen and you parted and went on your way. arriving home you sent Jensen a text.

YN (texting Jensen): “hey Jensen its YN. i am back on home soil and i already miss your embrace. i am heading to baggage to collect my luggage, then to meet my best friend in the lobby. home hasnt changed. let me know when you land and what your seeing too. ill look forward to being in more correspondance with you soon <3″

you grabbed your bag and went down the escalator straight into the arms of your best friend. you broke down as soon as you hit her embrace. she just stood there hugging you not caring that either of you were in public, you both stood there as you cried.

Beth: “what happened girl?”

YN: “long story short the trip was amazing, but i fear i have fallen in love with someone i might never seen again. i missed you.”

Beth: “come on lets get you out of here and back home.”

you both exited the airport and went back home. later when you were alone you looked at your phone and saw a messgae from jensen.

Jensen (via text): “hey beautiful i made it home to, i know how you feel, it feels weird to be home again. my best friend is waiting i just grabbed my luggage. i hope everything goes well. till we speak again. i miss you too <3″

that was the message that sent you into a suspended sleep your bestie crawled into bed after she was done her work. she didnt care that you were passed out. she was just happy that you were home.

Jensen had a similar greeting from his best friend and returned home to his large and half empty bed also falling into a suspended sleep all he could think about was you. 

*to be continued*

[shootycatfishgame]

Well its done, "Shooty and the Catfish Episode 2: The Spoopies" is finally out in the wild for people to play, why you can even play it yourself for free if you head on over here:   https://visitorsfromdreams.itch.io/shootycatfish-episode2 Truth be told the game has been out for 3 days now and has only been downloaded a grand total of 4 times. It might seem like a discouraging number for sure but its important to remember that this is the second episode of a series, and with the first episode itself only being downloaded a total of 124 times to date (my previous project Hazmat is sitting at 525 downloads and Flatwoods at 849 downloads) its not that surprising. In all honesty im not really expecting the series to really gain any sort of momentum until its fully finished and released as a stand alone product on Steam, and I think thats fair enough. The idea behind the episodic releases was largely so I could get the feedback to improve each episode as the project went along, and I think I have achieved that so far. So I guess you could consider this to be a post mortem. Where did things go right with Episode 2 and where did they go wrong? Well, for where things went right, development started in March and was finished in September so you could say the game had a 7 month development cycle. Looking back at it now due to the length of the episode that actually feels really excessive considering the amount of content in the actual game (which I will come back too) but compared to the first episodes 2 year development cycle it was a huge improvement. I am also pretty happy with how the games set up worked. Episode 1 played it very strait with its single town and non linear dungeon set up taken right from the standard JRPG guidebook. Episode 2 on the other hand was a little more experimental. The opening town was more about establishing a tone then a solid narrative with the Episodes dungeon being where all of the real story telling happens. While im sure this isnt a new idea, its something I havent personally experienced in any turn based RPGs. Sure, its not uncommon to find environmental story telling packed into the game world, but to have every combat encounter also be an NPC that pushes the narrative forward? I think the results were perhaps a little wordy and at times a bit on the nose, but for the most part I think it works. Episode 1 had a very non linear dungeon which worked well but it was nice working on something a little more directed as well which Episode 2's layout definitely was.

Im really happy without how the quality of life improvements in the game turned out, introducing new elements like coded doors for different kinds of keys and giving you the option of finishing the game without fighting the optional boss which, you know, actually made that optional boss optional. In fact I was so happy with those changes I went back and patched them into Episode 1 only a couple weeks back.

So where did things go wrong?

Well, to be honest, the only thing I wasnt happy with was how long it took me to get this game out. Like I said, 7 months is a big improvement compared to 2 years, but its still a lot longer than it should have been. Some of this was definitely my fault... as mentioned above there was a big push to have all the narrative put into the dungeon, but the down side of that was that it meant there was a lot more meaningful dialogue in this Episode than there was in Episode 1. The previous Episodes dialogue was mostly made up of silly gags from goofy NPCs in town, but for this Episode I had to create that ALONG with the more serious and narrative driven dialogue found in the dungeon itself. There were several weeks where I didnt touch the game at all because it all seemed so daunting. Ironically when I finally forced myself to write those sections it ended up only taking me 2 nights, so really I spent weeks if not months putting the project off out of fear of something that ended up taking collectively 6 hours tops.

So yeah... that explains some of the delay, but not all of it. The second issue that struck me during the development of this Episode was my own insecurity. The first 5 months this games development were during a time when I didnt know what was happening with my job,  I was very nervous, and with my fiance being processed through the notoriously awful Australian immigration system I was also pretty damn scared. The last few weeks of those 5 months was a massive period of crunch at work for a huge project and then immediately it was over... and I was out of a job. If I had known for sure that this was how the gig would have turned out I would have spent more of my free time trying to develop a following. I might have even been able to get my Patreon into a state that could have helped me out financially a little, or atleast thats what I liked to think I would have done, but at the time I didnt have the confidence or energy to do so. This was followed with me taking up a freelance project (well quite a few actually but most were great) which while it has definitely paid my bills over the last couple of months, it has also left me exhausted, emotionally and physically. All of this slowed down the development of the game, and perhaps even more importantly had a large impact on the writing of it.

"Shooty and the Catfish: Episode 2 - The Spoopies" deals with some pretty heavy themes, with suicide and the treatment of suicide victims being chief amoung them. Then on top of that I realised half way through development that while the idea of an office building full of ghosts of asshole business people who commited suicide after a stock market crash does have some comedic value (poor taste as it may be), the gameplay loop of systematically killing every single one of those ghosts has absolutely no comedic value and is quite possibly the most morbid thing I had ever created... Ironically not even on purpose... I found myself in a situation where I accidently created a "suicide victims ghost murder simulator". While im no stranger to creating offensive or disturbing content, for once this wasnt my intention but rather the result of the games story concept clashing with the established gameplay mechanics... and realising too late. What do you do when you set out to make a dumb comedy about 2 wise cracking idiots that kill monsters for money and instead... well here we are. What a mess... Im not going to pretend that the game handles the subject of suicide well and I also dont think I ever could approach the subject in a satisfying way. If its treatment upsets or offends anyone I think thats completely understandable and any critism I receive because of it is completely justified. Something I do think that is a positive to come out of all this however is this is the first game project I have worked on that I feel, to me personally, is a piece of "art". Well I mean... I think all games are art, but playing through this game now I can see the struggle I was going through developing it reflected through the characters and through the writing. Its almost like playing through 5 months of my own loose streamed consciousness. My stress, my depression, my insecurity, my fear, my defeatism, its all there. The game has tonal whiplash of morbid  nihilism and stupid dumb goofy comedy in a way I havent been able to pull of since my 2014 film Spilt Coffee (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jp2HSx_f9WE) which ironically serves as a prequel to this game and was created at a time of my life when again, I felt quite trapped. Episode 2 might be the worst game I have made to a lot of people and thats totally fair, but I think its also my most personal and sincere for what thats worth. Thats it for this update, I have gone on long enough as it is. So where do we go from here? Well... I made myself and my players a promise at the end of Episode 2, and thats that Episode 3 will be a fun light hearted adventure. I think after this games development I really need it, and hopefully the contents of this depressing Episode doesnt stop those players from coming with me on that adventure too. If your interested in helping me support my indie game development then why not check out my Patreon? https://www.patreon.com/VisitorsFromDreams Every little bit helps ~ <3

Thanks again to everyone who has taken the time to read this post.

[starco-conut]

Our Thoughts on Season 3

Hey everyone!! as you may have seen...Alan and I have been just a bit let down by some of the stuff going on. Luckily, we’re both huge ass nerds so we wrote it all out in a multi-paragraph post. With visual aids! if you’ve been feeling a little offput by the new episodes but can’t place why, we probably have your reason put into words somewhere in here. 

Reviews, replies, general additions to this post are not only permitted, but strongly encouraged!! :D

bold is nicole. italics is alan

Scent of a hoodie

I mean. one word summary;... Uncomfortable. it was rough to watch my girl obsess like that and honestly??? there was no clear message at the end... with the whole ‘the scent is in ur heart....’ do they mean to imply she’s getting over marco or that he’s always gonna be around in her mind??????????. yeh. not much to say here.

this episode was kind of strange and felt really awkward with star’s obsession with marco but had a sweet ending with star learning that its really unhealthy for her to latch onto marco like this and its time to move on. it felt like one of those iffy episodes throughout most of it but the end was decent enough

Rest in Pudding

Her little monologue to glossaryk was super cute and well done!! that whole bit was just. Good! felt like Old Times! but then there’s

This was... a gag? I dont know. when i saw it first my gut reaction was that they were setting up some angst about how star’s calling people on earth that aren’t her best friend Marco and THAT got me!! i was Ready To Be Hurt by that! but then like...nothing. Unless it comes up in a nearing episode this was just a bad joke. overall episode wasn’t bad at all though!!

i really enjoyed this episode! the pacing, mystery, and comedy all held up to the Star standard and only had a small amount of plot progression which felt appropriate for a halloween episode. my only gripe is that after the whole Battle For Mewni deal, i expected Moon to believe Star a bit more when she says Glossaryck is alive

oh yeah that too for sure

Club Snubbed

pretty much made me want to die and barf simultaneously. when it got to the scene above, where she talked about just needing a friend i thought, hey, thats cool. and accurate. maybe that dance scene clip, since its unfortunately not a flashback, is going to be presented as platonic!

nope. anyone in for a suicide pact?

To be fair, i should elaborate. Tomstar, in theory, is super cool. I definitely vibed with the fire and butterfly magic mix happening, back when I thought it was a flashback. But...Its been, what, 5, maybe 6 episodes since marco left and she’s already just...whoop? who’s marco? haha what? There’s not enough time. 

And from what I can tell, none of their old issues have been addressed. Tom still has anger issues, but because ‘its hard’ and he’s ‘trying’ suddenly star’s all over him? sleazy ppl come to their exes like ‘i’ve changed!!’ for a reason. the ex should actually. want. to see. change. Star seems content to say ‘fuckall, tom’s here, why not’

WHICH..could actually be good? If it’s presented that way? My hope is that she’s latching on to Tom because they have history, and a bond already. Marco’s gone suddenly, she’s urging for somewhere to direct her affection- lord knows the sweet girl has lots to give. and then they’ll part as friends after she realizes whatever they are now is unhealthy and ingenuine romantically. I have no backing for this and honestly it doesn’t look like that’s the way they’re going but... I’m gonna hope.

this episode definitely throws a spin on our view of tom as an “uncaring, lying, manipulative ex boyfriend” and for the first time i felt like i really saw Tom Lucitor, a boy with anger issues and an unfortunate history with his actions. i was really glad to see this character growth for him but i feel like the writers completely skipped over the real impacts that a relationship like tom and star’s had on each other. 

yes!! i didn’t say but, i kinda love tom as an independent character. his anger issues are presented as a part of his personality, he is a guy who has anger issues, not Anger Issues in a physical form. lots of cool depth on that.

realistically, star would not immediately fall back in love with tom because...why would she? we as the viewers know that Tom has changed but to Star? he has a significant history of lying to manipulate her and marco to get closer to them and star doesn’t have a real reason to believe what he’s saying is true and she shouldn’t have 100% faith in him so quickly especially when she had 0 trust in him just a few minutes prior. overall i was impressed with the development for tom but the future implications were disappointing to me

i will be talking more about my issues with Star and her trust issues later.

Stranger Danger

My only issue with this episode is that it doesn't exist outside of its own ten minutes. I literally forgot about it til i looked up an episode list of s3 to write this post. Eclipsa is sitting there, queen of darkness, in the same castle grounds as star, and shes nor the trial is brought up in the subsequent episodes. Alan goes wild on this one so I’ll let him take it away- he’s 100% on point here.

THIS IS A LONG ONE BOYS, STRAP IN,

i agree with nicole here, there is no buildup to the immense revelation that eclipsa is free and roaming the castle gardens. battle for mewni had planted the seed that eclipsa was breaking out but there was no mention of this in any other episode. and then there’s this:

what was this all about?? did no one notice that Eclipsa, the Queen of Darkness, one of the most powerful queens and magic users in Mewni’s history, and a wanted criminal, was FREE FROM THE CRYSTAL THEY FROZE HER IN?? And in BFM, Moon even visits Eclipsa’s crystal prison to check if she’s still there but now? she didnt seem worried about it AT ALL. only when Star is peacefully talking to her does Moon and the magic high comission show up because...plot reasons.

aside from that, however, i feel like the pacing in this episode was not planned very well. from the opening scene of Star taking care of Glossaryck for well over 4 minutes, it felt like this was going to be a fun silly episode with general shenanigans (there’s nothing wrong with silly episodes, it just didn’t end up being one). but halfway through the episode, eclipsa shows up and suddenly the plot is moving at a rapid pace. and while this felt like it should have been the climax of the 11-minutes, the climax just continues? there is no falling action in this episode. it continues with star being decontaminated and at one point she is strapped to an examining table and flashes through some disturbing faces

why is she smiling? who drew this? this feels really creepy, like someone is putting their kinks into the show and its really uncomfortable to watch and think about. there is a heart touching moment with Moon and Star talking about their actions and both side have somewhat understandable reasons, though star clearly has the show’s bias so the plot progresses (which is not necessarily a bad thing). afterwards, Star meets Eclipsa in her cell and still, the climax of the episode has not fallen at all with all the arguing. and then finally when star confronts eclipsa in her tower, she says,

“Just because i didn’t want you crystalized again, doesn’t mean i trust you.”

????

She literally has no past with eclipsa other than having a pleasant conversation with her. She knows next to nothing about her actual actions or personality but immediately doesn’t trust her? but in Club Snubbed she immediately trusts tom? the guy who directly had severe negative impacts on her life?? Why?! Why are the writers so inconsistent? nothing makes sense! It’s cheap, forced romance that’s why!

and after this ridiculously long climax the episode just ENDS. there is no resolution, and it doesn’t touch on it again anywhere in the next four episodes. It’s bad show writing.

Demoncism

I picked this screenshot because it was the most disgusting!!! this is just...more of an opinion here but I really like the trope where one is out of their mind, dangerous, causing magic destruction and the other defies the risk and holds them, curing the issue with The Power Of Love. it’s corny but I love it. and yet.

here. they decided to just. chuck it in. I’ve seen shows do this trope Very Very well (oddly, one example i can think of also involves a wild demon kid and a forest in blue fire.....) but to just...throw this in there. with. like 8 seconds of buildup. n-o. no. ESPECIALLY because tom and star, where they are currently in the show, aren’t ready to be romantic, and this trope always has romantic implications.

i got extremely mixed feelings from this episode. on one hand it had a great message that you shouldn’t force change but rather to grow naturally and learn from your mistakes. on the other hand,  a lot of it is still tainted by this cliche, boring, romance. Star immediately barges in and claims that he’s only doing this for her and generally is untrusting of his actions. 

......

are you noticing a common theme here? writers purposefully twisting characters’ interactions for the sole purpose of causing drama? give me one good reason for star’s sense of trust to be flip-flopping like this over and over again. im being serious, if you even read this far, leave a reply and call me out because i CAN NOT THINK OF ONE GOOD REASON.

“Okayy, but no tickling.” Again, more creepy bdsm, moving on.

Then later when hes doing that whole floaty, blue veined, writhing scene i will actually commend the writers for making a very good analogy of how painful and unhealthy this process is for tom to quickly force himself to change. then star comes back and hugs him and says shes here for him which would have actually been a very sweet moment if they had just been friends but of course, they’re not. its just a reminder that “uwu they’re in love now”. and then there’s this:

confirmation that yes, the show is going to do that. rush star and tom’s relationship bc #teendrama. and the worst part of it is: star and tom could actually have been an acceptable, if not role model relationship if it wasn’t written so poorly, which is what the next paragraph or so is dedicated to.

I don’t hate Tom and Star’s relationship. I don’t. i see it as a missed opportunity. Tom and Star were two people who used to be a couple in the past and broke up for reasons unknown. we can speculate that it was because of Tom’s anger issues and problems with lying, and also Star’s inability to deal with complex situations and face her problems. THIS IS AN INCREDIBLY COMMON REAL LIFE SITUATION. This was a ripe opportunity to go in-depth with Star and Tom’s issues, not just their own but also the issues between them. and it is wasted. I know that its hard to fit this into one measly episode but there’s a whole half season to develop them at a proper, realistic pace! i wouldn’t care if the entire season is dedicated to Star and Tom working to solve these issues if it meant we had this enormously important topic resolved in a healthy and wholesome manner. 

But the problem is, none of this happens. And it’s not going to. The writers completely skip over all of Tom and Star’s anger towards each other and go straight to “UWU THEYRE IN LOVE NOW”. Star is just rebounding off Marco and onto Tom and there’s going to be more unnecessary drama, and someone’s going to get hurt.

And I am disgusted.

Sophomore Slump

jarco saved this ep ? the only parts of it i could really relax and enjoy was the little jarco montage it was cute. and then. and THEN. the random dumping. I get what the writers were trying to say, y’know? ohohohoh, nudge nudge, we all know who marcos REAL best friend is...hohoho...except. they shouldnt have. said it. at least not via jackie. She was used in this disgustingly common way where she’s just there to deliver a message and help marco realize something. do y’all realize the most drastic adjective i can apply to her realizing she+marco wont work is like....”bummed”. It’s realistic to cry, to be fucking mad, to show...FEELING...i don’t care how cool and chill she is. It’s an absolute travesty to her to not let her be upset about it. 

AND THE CAPE. it was obnoxious, I hated his attitude about it, not because it was annoying but because he expected others to stop ‘acting weird’. I had hope when jackie knocked sense into him but then he...was then REWARDED for his obsession with it? He ended up getting what he wanted, a ticket back to Mewni, by being a stubborn arse about it. no.

god where do i begin. alright.

Marco was so out of character this episode. im not talking like “he isnt the safe kid anymore he takes some uncharacteristic risks”. no. I don’t know who this kid is but it is not Marco Diaz. He’s some plot device created by the writers to create drama. Why is he so obsessed with his cape? Why is he forcing his experience on mewni into every conversation? Why. Is he. The Croissant Girl. The dude spent over sixteen YEARS in other dimensions going on quests of epic scale and comes back home without a single issue readjusting. Not one word. but then he spends one week in the butterfly castle and serves essentially no purpose the entire time other than freeing Star from her chains one time. He was completely and utterly unimportant in the grand scheme of the BFM movie. and then he comes back to earth and feels this great pride as if he was some great part of the event. Why? what does he have to be proud of? there was no mention of this development in any of the earlier episodes. and i havent even mentioned the ridiculous forced breakup yet.

at some point it seems like Jackie’s words really do come through to Marco. He snaps out of his daze and seems to genuinely want to make it up to her. the scene with Marco and Jackie having a fun date at the pier was incredibly sweet and was generally a good experience. We got to see more of Jackie’s fun side that we were desperately searching for in season 1 and the first half of season 2. it was very satisfying to know that jackie was a character everyone would eventually come to love. but then

that. Why? Why has Marco not moved on at all and learned his mistakes? why does he not understand that he’s being destructive. why do the writers like creating unnecessary drama. you know what show had a very similar plot issue and resolved this properly??

That’s right! Everybody’s favorite racist, ableist, offensive, generally unfunny show: The Big Bang Theory. I don’t even remember this dude’s name but when he came back from space and was being annoying, his girlfriend talked to him and he realized that “WOW IM ANNOYING LET ME THINK ABOUT OTHER’S FEELINGS FOR ONCE.”

100%. if they had stopped with the callout via jackie, and he had actually taken off the cape, I would have been fine. lesson learned. but, obviously, they didnt do that.

 If this show (which has an incredible track record for doing crappy show writing) can get it right then why can’t Star vs the Forces of Evil? A show that is usually praised for it’s amazing talent for intelligent, easy to understand, and great moral messaging?

Because of the writers. They don’t want to teach important messages for these kids (the target audience may i remind you) to latch on to and learn from. They want to write their angsty fanfiction and throw it into canon.

Nicole-TL;DR my lasting hope is star’s affections for tom are, and are revealed as such, a way to cope with going cold-turkey on marco and things resolve without a stupid fucking love triangle also jackie and janna start  dating. aaand im just. disappointed with the show rn. something’s different and after shoving this amazing ass show in everyones face for so long just to see it kind of...well, it’s starting to peel. idk why. but im just hoping this is like...banagic incident but...several episodes long.

Alan-TL;DR 

[eastoaksdalestreet]

Chapter 4

CONTAINS STRONG LANGUAGE AND SEX SCENES

Carol was checking her emails. She was wondering why she hadn't received her bills as it was that time of the month.

Nothing in the inbox.

Closing the laptop, she made a phone call. Something clearly wasnt right. But as she dialled the number, something came through the letter box. Sighing, she went to the letterbox and picked up the envelope.

She looked horrified. Sprawled in big letters was the sentence. 

EVICTION NOTICE.

When Carol read the full contents of the letter and the reason why she and Billie were being evicted, her anguish turned to anger. It was due to Billie’s behaviour with a local gang who had been terrorising the streets.

When Billie came in an hour later, Carol was ready for confrontation. 

“Have you seen that letter on the end table?” She said in a deadly whisper. Billie looked at her and shook his head then Carol thundered,

“ITS AN EVICTION NOTICE THAT’S WHAT IT IS! BECAUSE OF YOU AND THAT BLOODY GANG YOU'VE BEEN KNOCKING ABOUT WITH! TERRORISING THE NEIGHBOURS AND CAUSING TROUBLE! NOW WERE GONNA BE EVICTED AND THAT’S THE LAST THING I NEED AFTER EVERYTHING THAT’S GOING ON!” 

Billie looked at Carol. He had never seen his mother so angry. As she began to cry, Billie didn't know what to do. He could comfort her, that would help but she would push him away. Instead, he retreated to his room, wanting to the most of the time they had left in the flat.

The Barton kids were at college, the farm and school and Moira had the time to spend with John. After finishing her shift early, she and John came home and embraced. Things seemed so perfect for them at the moment and the revelled in the moment. In fact they were so wrapped up in their own happiness that they didn't see Hannah come home and cry due to the bullying she was receiving at school. It had started a few months ago and showed no sign of stopping. It didn't help that things were being posted about her on the internet.

Carol and Billie moved in with Bianca and Ricky, the day after the eviction notice arrived. There was no point of sticking around after that had arrived. The house was crowded but somehow they would manage. Billie knew that he had to get back in his mothers good books and he decided to get a job at Butlers farm helping Adam Barton on the farm. Carol was pleased by his efforts and decided to accompany him.

As Carol and Billie arrived at Butlers farm, Moira was heading into town.

“Oh hello you must be Carol.” She said pleasantly and Carol smiled and nodded,

“That’s right, I’ve come about the job for my son.”

“My Husband is in the house, talk to him about it. He knows about it more than me.” Moira remarked and headed into town.

Carol walked inside and was approached by John and Carol was amazed at handsome he looked, he reminded her of.....

She couldn't think of David. She hadn't heard from him for a long time and began to think that he had lost interest.

“Hello You must be Carol and its Billie that’s after the job. I’m John and Moira is my wife. I’ve got three kids Adam, Holly and Hannah. Is Billie your only child?” John asked and Carol shook her head,

“No I’ve got three other kids, Bianca,Robbie and Sonya. Grown up off course with kids of their own.” Carol said fondly.

“You don’t look like a grandmother to me.” John said sweetly and Carol smiled. She liked him already.

As Carol and John talked, she was aware of what responsibilities Billie would be doing and they enjoyed each others company. 

“Ill send Billie to the farm first thing in the morning. Thank you for giving him a chance. Hes really determined to make a go of another chance.” Carol remarked and John hugged her before they said goodbye. Carol wished she had a man like John, someone to love her and care for her.

It had been two months since Chas and Carls love affair had been exposed and they were now officially a couple. Although Aaron had forgiven Chas, it was clear it would a while before she could repair the damage that she had done.

“You spoken to Aaron?” Carl asked and Chas shook her head.

“Do you think hell ever forgive me?” Chas asked sadly, it was clearly bothering her that Aaron wasn't haven't proper conversations with er like they used too. Carl held her close,

“Yes he will babe. I promise, its just something to get used too.”He whispered. Chas kissed him, feeling the warmth of his body against her and then when she saw the cheeky grin on his face, she lead him upstairs.

Within moments, they were undressed and Carl was pumping away at her on the bedroom floor. Thankfully, Jimmy and Nicola were out with Angelica so there was no chance of getting disturbed. Chas loved it when she and Carl made love to each other, it always made her feel warm and tense.

Sometime later Chas was checking the internet at clothes websites for some deals when an email notification popped up, it was off Aaron.

Hey Mum,

Look at this. Someone is slagging me and you off.

Aaron xxx

Chas clicked the link and her eyes widened when she saw what it said.

“Chas Dingle needs to keep her legs crossed and look after that lunatic of a son of hers. No wonder she cant keep a man.”

Chas felt angry about this. Whoever had sent was gonna get battered good and proper.

Chesney was playing with his dog Schmicheal. He loved the dog dearly and wouldnt be without him. The love he had for him was overwhelming. He lived with his sister Fiz and her husband John whom he didn't like. He didn't make it obvious out of loyalty to Fiz, he loved his sister and she had been more of a mother figure than his own mother Cilla had been.

“Everything alright Ches?” Fiz asked after she came home from work. Chesney nodded,

“Yeah everythings fine.” Chesney remarked with a smile. Fiz was pleased for him.

Before he went Chesney went on Facebook to see what everyone was up too. He laughed at Kirk's photo of himself in the rovers and made sick noises at Becky and Steve then he suddenly was redirected to a website entitled “Worlds biggest losers.co.uk” Chesney was shocked when he read the third paragraph

“Saw a young teen today, heard his name is Chesney. With a name like that i wonder if he can pull.”

Chesney was horrified. Someone had it in for him and they barely knew him.

Fiz came in,

“Chesney you have school tomorrow. Turn that computer off.” She said and Chesney turned to face her.

“Fiz someone is chatting about me and saying things. Look.” Chesney said and he showed the comments to Fiz.

“Were going to the police Chesney. This is Bad!” Fiz said, shocked by this.

As February progressed and no leads regarding the online hate campaign, the residents decided to continue life as normal.

Carla came home after another stressful day at the Underworld. Nothing had improved since Christmas and she was very worried.

“You ok love?” Michelle asked as she came back from a drink with Maria. Carla shook her head,

“Things are falling apart love. I feel like a failure. And to make matters worse, theres stuff going missing like knickers and bra’s. There’s a thief in our factory!” Carla exclaimed. Michelle raised her eyebrows and Carla could see that she was hesitating.

“What is it?” Carla's asked. Michelle hesitated then said,

“I could be wrong but I did Mercedes the other day hanging about by the stock cupboard. Mercedes McQueen. You know her whose sister worked for Roy and Hayley for a bit.”

Carla briefed over this piece of information carefully then she headed out. When she got her hands on Mercedes, there would be hell to pay.

Carla tracked Mercedes outside StreetCars where she was flirting with Lloyd. 

“Oi you come here!” Carla shouted. Mercedes was shocked by Carla’s attitude. It was clear that Mercedes was a thorn in Carla’s side since she started working for her three weeks before.

“What have I done?” Mercedes asked and Carla got wound up.

“Ill tell you what you've done! You've been stealing, you fucking thief!” Carla yelled. Mercedes scoffed,

“What have I supposed to have stolen?!” 

“Dont play the innocent with me! Knickers and Bra’s thats what. And I want them back!” Carla shouted.

Mercedes was getting annoyed.

“I havent stolen anything! This is wrong this is!” She shouted.

“You and your family are nothing but thief's and slappers the lot of you!” Carla shouted and before she knew it Mercedes slapped her in front of Peter who was walking past. He was unsure of what to do.

It wasnt long before a full blown fight took place right in the middle of the street with slaps and punches being administered and insults hurled. The fight was broken up by Michelle after Peter informed her what happened.

Andy returned home after a long day at Butlers farm. It had been tiring and he was keen to get home and sleep. As he walked in, he was shocked to find Victoria still up and on the internet.

“Vic what you doing?” Andy asked and Victoria looked at him.

“Just browsing.” She said quickly,”Its for homework.”

“Right. Well you should be in bed you have school tomorrow.” Andy said and Victoria nodded.

Whitney was checking her emails. She had Billie on her mind and it was evident. She had just sent him flirtatious text messages and loved the responses. She was unaware that Holly also was interested in him and had attempted flirting with him since he started at Butlers farm. As Whitney was about to shut down, a message popped up in her inbox and she clicked the link, Whitney was shocked by the message from the website,

“You would have thought that Whitney Dean would have learned when it comes to men but shes becoming a walking STD given that she is now toying with the affections of The Bartons latest farm boy.”

Whitney was horrified, was someone watching her? She didnt know. 

Carmel was upset. She had become the latest victim to the online hate campaign. She had been looking at her emails and received an anonymous message like Whitney had.

“After doing my research on the McQueen's I've found out the blonde bimbo Carmel is the biggest dumb blonde ever, with her boring personality its no wonder men find her dull.”

Carmel was clearly by this, Mercedes and Jacqui wanted to hound the person down and beat the shit out of them.

Myra came home. She had been to a party at the Dog and Pond and looked quite nice. She saw the troubled look on Carmels face and sat beside her,

“Whats up love? Your still upset over that comment about you arent you? Listen Carmel you are beautiful inside and out and your a sweet girl and that why Men fall in love with you, take no notice of some idiot on the internet, their not worth it.” Myra said and Carmel smiled at her.

Whitney was once more on the internet analysing the comments about the others including the comment about herself. She wondered what the motive was behind the hate campaign. Was it bitterness? Jealousy? A cruel joke? She didnt know.

As she wrote a secret admirer not to Billie, another message appeared on the website. Whitney analysed the message, it was about Billy Mitchell.

“Billy is by far the biggest idiot Walford has ever seen and I should know. I know him from my being on the game days. He is forever gonna be alone they way he is going.”

Whitney stood up and turned the computer off.

 As Whitney was about to leave, she received a text message from Billie,

Wanna meet up later? x

It was off Billie and Whitney smiled as she replied,

I will later, Think Ive made a breakthrough with this campaign on the internet xx

Whitney headed out and made sure Ryan didnt catch her in the process.

Val and Eric Pollard owned a BandB in Emmerdale not far away from the woolpack. It was a popular place and they were very proud of it. Whitney had got the address from Holly and instead of going in, she went round the back, she saw the culprit behind the hate campaign.

It was Janine Butcher.

“How could you?! Why did you do that?! Put all that stuff on the internet!” Whitney shouted. Janine looked at her,

“Dont know what your on about!” She said unconvincingly. Whitney went for her but was stopped by Val.

“The online bullying! You've been saying awful things about people! Making people’s lives a misery!” Whitney yelled. Janine rolled her eyes.

“People need to get a grip, its only abit of light entertainment, people need to chill out over some daft comments i didn't even mean!” 

Whitney slapped her then and had to be pulled back by Val who was worried the other customers would see.

“What about teenage girls who feel rubbish about themselves already without having some bitch like you making it worse for them?! Hannah Barton ring any bells?!”

“What?! Ive never picked on teenage girls, I dont know anyone called Hannah Barton, I may have said some things about some other people but definitely not anyone of that name! Shes probably a victim of school bullying!” 

Whitney looked at Janine with utter disgust and she walked away with Val and Eric looking bewildered at Janine.

John and Hannah headed to the Sugdens. John was determined to get to the bottom of who was sending stuff on the internet about Hannah. He knew Hannah hadnt been the only one who had malicious comments been posted about her but today it was going to end.

 Diane came to the door, surprised to see John.

“Diane, can I speak to Victoria please?” John asked. Diane looked at him,

“What for? Whats she done?” She asked, oblivious to what was going on. Victoria came downstairs, she had somehow expected this.

“Have you seen the comments on this chat room thing?!” John said sharply to Victoria who looked at the screenshot that he had taken.Victoria was shaken by what had been said.

“This is disgusting Victoria, you should know better than that!” John shouted, Victoria became tearful and Diane folded her arms,

“Im so disappointed in you Victoria I really am.” She said sternly and Victoria was sent to her room.

“Im so sorry John I had no idea.” Diane said solemnly, John nodded.

“At least it could be over now. I hate it when my kids are distressed.” John said before taking Hannah home.

When they got home, Moira had headed to bed early due to illness, Adam was out with Aaron and Holly was in hers and Hannahs room.

“Thats for you help Dad. But what if im hated for being the school grass? Does it make me look weak?” Hannah asked. John held her close.

“No it doesnt darling. It makes them look like a spiteful pair of idiots.” He said and Hannah smiled. 

“Im going to go to bed now Dad.” She said as she hugged him.

As Hannah went into her bedroom, she checked on her hamster Lily. She smiled to herself as she feed her, happy to her torment was over. She didn't know whether to forgive Victoria for her betrayal. 

As Hannah got into her pyjama’s, she saw something sticking out of Holly’s old dollhouse. It looked like a small clear packet containing white powder. Hannah’s eyes widened when she saw what it really was.

It was cocaine.

Next time: A Newcomer causes havoc, The Rovers briefly comes under new management and Aaron gets acquainted with an attractive newcomer.

[topbeautifulwomens]

#Women, #Painting #and #Power #brunettebabes #challenge #drawing #dressyourface #fashionistas #lifestyle #makeupartist #sky #views #women

I am standing in my studio, observeing ten women portray in silence with beautiful consideration and focus, and the calories is just buzzing. All of a unexpected I hear a groan from one of the women and the phrases “Oh no, I hate it. It truly is so unsightly”. I smile, truly sensation a feeling of wonderful reduction and dread.

Aid given that an additional woman has just blindly stumbled into her gateway to imaginative flexibility. Worry because I know the resistance and arguments I am likely to be coming up once morest as I try to converse her out of get rid ofing what she deems ugly and to even to commence to take the radical phase of accepting what she has produced with desire and comenthusiasm. I incorporate to be quick here because women are practically nothing if not stealthy and cunning and will squander tiny time in eradicating the proof of what they consider unengaging art.

Here is a class in what is known as intuitive painting or procedure painting. The purpose of this kind of painting is to understand to checkpay attention deeply to your self and to then bravely express what you uncover,with no censoring anything,in a spirit of spontaneity, surrendering to the creative process.It’s very various from typical art groups exactly where the principal focus is on developing system and finishing up with a satisfying product. This variety of class utilizes art and painting as a way to get a lot more in contact with the interior globe of soul and psyche. The focus is solely on checking out and expressing that internal process.

This road is difficult for most women, because even though a lot of of us have carried out some kind of self evaluation and discover the worth inherent in that research, we’re nonetheless combating an uphill struggle towards a very strong cultural bias that teversure us to place the greatest value on what is outdoors of us. We’re taught that ideas and an inner daily life are wonderful as far as they go, but what is truly worthwhilst is how we look, what we own, who we know, and where we find ourselves on the financial and reputation hierarchy.

The mysterious stirrings of our soul, the needs of our coronary hearts, the messages from our bodies,and the genius of our instinct, are STILL, even following all of the battles for liberation that we’ve fought, denigrated and deemed trivial and uncrucial, unrealistic and immature. But in the world of the process arts the realm of psyche and desires, creativeness and feelings are staunchly defended as sacrosanct and even given middle stage.

The women in my painting class know the policies of intuitive painting, one of which is that they’re not to destroy anything or cover up what they’ve done just because they never like it or have a negative response to it. They know what they are attempting here is an follow in radical self acceptance which implies embracing almost everything that comes out of them specifically if it tends to make them not comfortable because there is certainly “gprevious in them thar hills” of the psyche that they can mine to great advantage if they are just inclined to stay with the soreness. But the urge to disavow the abomination of a perceived ugly painting by making it vanish can be complicated.

There are 4 words in the English language that remember to never use in reference to a western twenty first century woman if you don’t want to get your tooth knocked out. These four little words are ugly, excess weight, bitch and egocentric.

Every of these four words covers an difficulty of great relevance for a woman, and what they all have in familiar is that they are keys to unlocking the door to our forbidden feminine drive. And one thing you can rely on is that each of these four difficulties will show up at some point if a woman severely provides herself over to making her own art. That’s one cause that women typically shy absent from the creative process.

These words have very negative connotations for a woman and have been used to denigrate and manage us for a very long time.The demand about them is so intensive that as before long as we hear them we toss up our arms, recoil into a place of disgrace, near our eyes and back away from them as if they have been Kryptonite and we were Tremendous Lady. Since we are hesitant to be curious and discover them, we never get to see that in truth these four words explain very positive characteristics and archetypal energies that we determinedly need if we’ll be complete, whole, actualized and resultive feminine creators of our own life.

A single of the hugegest internal obstructions to reclaiming our power is a potent archetype at function in most women’s psyches that can be referred to as the Interior Very good Girl. The Good Girl lives for acceptance and she garners that approval by being women small and risk-free and non-threatening. She is not intesnoozeed in increasing up and is content material to remain forever youthful. Eventually, she is the one that retains a woman from getting able to develop and prosper as an individual who is strong and potent,gutsy and able of having authority over her own life. And the Good Girl never desires to threat being fat, selfish, ugly or bitchy.

If a woman takes her creative life seriously, if she makes a motivation to herself and devotes herself to her creative work, she will eventually reach a crossroads where she has to confront the Inner Good Girl and the list of Good Girl rules if she wants to proceed making with passion and authenticity.

We all know what individuals rules are.Smile, smile, smile, be candy and great, never get nuts (or even discouraged),look fairly (which of course involves being thin), odor good, be new and neat and altechniques be pleasing and accommodating. Will not be loud and stay in the background. What you consider or feel is not really all that important. Don’t upset anybody. And never, ever make another man or woman uncomfortable. In the Good Girl world idealion is an attainable purpose and you need to work relentlessly, tirelessly, exhaustively, to be the absolute greatest mom, daughter, spouse and friend you can be, all the while berating yourself because you inexplicably and frequently drop short of the mark.

As soon as a woman starts her creative life she delivers these exact same attitudes and expectations to her art. She only allows herself to paint pretty paintings that are perfect in every way. Paintings that are nice and make men and women smile. She is unwilling to risk disturbing or intense shade or imagery; nothing that’s as well strong or stands out excessive. But painting in this way eventually departs her feeling bored and stifled. Fairly can be wonderful as part of a increased repertoire, but if it truly is all you happen to be permitted to do it eventually turns into either a noose and a cage.

At a sure point in her creative process a woman needs to be willing to ditch the Good Girl by spliting the Good Girl rules. But breaking those rules qualified prospects a woman into the territory of the sexperiencedow side of the Good Girl, the dreaded yet fascinating BAD GIRL!

The Very poor Girl is alive and well in most women’s psyches and is the part of us who is ill and fatigued of the long list of restrictions that hem in her wild and juicy self. She is feisty and daring, complete of audacity and unconcerned to go for what she wants. She is adventurous and courageous, and loves the buzz that comes with taking positive life-affirming pitfalls.

But our dating to her has a strong shame and shadow element so she often gets expressed in way’s that end up hurting us. She is the one who eats the whole container of the mint chocolate chip ice product in one sitting down, who isn’t going to return essential mobile phone calls to irritating loved ones members, who spends funds that she doesn’t have on cgood dealhes or footwear, and who has inappropriate interactions with men or women that usually are not good for her.What I am presenting here is a way to reclaim the Bad Girl energy, by means of painting, that is affirming and positive. To recognize that what we have been contacting undesirable are disowned elements of ourselves that need to be introduced back house.

THE SELFISH GIRL: Unafraid of putting herself very first, of being needy and happy of it, of nurturing herself, of preserving her own energy, of filling her own well, willing to have boundaries, making her own self care her first precedence, willing to be her own good mother, willing to take time just for herself, willing to confront and confused her guilt relating to managing herself.

This is the first Bad Girl to show up when a woman initiatives to have a practical creative life, and the first one I see when a woman wanders in the door of my studio to show up at a painting class. I hear over and over again from these women how much they have misplaced by themselves in taking care of every person else. How tired they are of putting everyone else’s needs first and that they have come to this class because they want to do one thing that has no visual reward to anyone else.

For a woman to be creative she needs to be willing to take time just for herself. She needs uninterrupted classes when she is able to enter her studio, sit down at her pc or her easel, and see what wants to come. She needs to let herself get dreamy, do nothing, stare out the window, and be apparently unproductive. All through these interludes in which she drops into a creative trance she is inviting the muse to enter her and inviting the often magic formula and mysterious motion of her soul to express alone.

In these moments, she starts to face herself through her art. She is able to get tranquil ample so that she can listen deeply and start to inquire some essential concerns this kind of as “What do I think? What do I like? What do I really want? What moves me, brings me satisfaction, makes me feel alive.?” It is a me, myself and I time, a time that needs to be dealt with as sacred and inviolable in purchase to allow those creative juices to flow unimpeded and to eventually turn into a raging, dashing river.

Nonetheless, it’s usually not long before the telephone rings or someone faucets (or somemoments lbs ) on the studio door with the cry of “I need you! And I need you RIGHT NOW!” It could be a friend, a little one, a mother a partner, a work duty, or a pipe that has just sprung a leak. Abruptly, somebody else’s needs become more important than her need to be creative, and the woman is confronted with the eternal woman question.” Do I once again close the door to my studio and turn my back on the needs of my own soul? Do I once again prove how reputable, dutiful, comintimate , caring, self sacrificing, accessible, loving, guilty I am, at the horrible price of my own creative self? Understanding that I’ve the small, and getting more compact consolation of being able to say “Nicely at minimum no person is going to be able to call me selfish!”

THE UGLY GIRL: Willing to buck the tide, to be her own distinct self, to not often conform , to step away from the need for approval, to be willing to risk censure, to step outside of the box of what is appropriate as a woman in this tradition, willing to be bizarre, different, unique, outrageous, bold.

The most common lament or prefer that I hear from my women painting student’s is “But I just want my painting to be lovely.”

For most women, cosmetic is a need, a deep irrational starvation, and an subconscious compulsion. Our id with the need to be beautiful is so great and so ingrained that we hardly, if ever, question it. Attractiveness is the key to the magic kingdom of well- being, contentment and achievement. It is the resource of our value, the make sure of love, our only valid access to power, and on a very deep stage has intended survival itself. Due to the fact so much is at stake, the tension a woman feels to be beautiful and to create something beautiful is substantial.

Our whole relationship to beauty displays up painfully and certainly in the painting process. Even though she is painting, there is always some beauty classic- whether or not she understands it or not- that a woman is striving to live up to. Possibly the ideal is of a painting that is neat and flawless where no errors or messiness, no drips or uneven lines are allowed. Or the idealized eyesight may be one of a painting that is well balanced and symmetrical, a paragon of magnificence, grace, and impeccable good style. In this model of perfection, all the hues should in shape, and can only be in the variety of muted pastels with the total effect being comforting and helpful, like a well put with each other design in a home and yard journal.

What ever the ideal, the energy put into attaining it is relentless. When I watch a woman paint I am always stunned by the passion she has for endlessly fussing over and repairing her paintings. Spontaneity is out of the question. She just takes it for granted that her painting must be well notion out, prepared, and arranged , and under as much of her control as is humanly possible. She is used to not trusting in her own innate beauty, and expects that the quest for beauty will require nonquit work. She never questions the ceaseless dieting and exercise, the several hours invested purchasing for just the appropriate outfit and the stressing over her pores and skin, her hair, her nails. She always has and always will are unsuccessful of the beauty mark and just assumes that beauty is something she will constantly struggle for and rarely, if ever, gain.

The really unfortunate thing is that she sees nothing improper with this fretful and nervous approach to her self and to her ar2rk.This ceaseless and ultimately hopeless striving for the extremely hard ideal is just the norm. It’s really the only thing she has ever known.

These slender constraints of beauty that a woman finds herself tangled in are always some variation on the Good Girl creed. These socially recognized specifications are primarily based on a definition of beauty that is associated to being nice and non threatening, to not standing out too much and conforming to an set norm that is pleasant but not effective. Beauty is related to compliance and convention, to subsequent the rules and to fitting in. The Good Girl beauty ideal means that it’s not OK to just be herself, warts and all. She needs to clean herself up and make herself acceptable.

When a woman is painting, the Unsightly Girl often sneaks in as a mistake or imperfection, a smear or a smudge, something messy or uncontrolled.When the woman attempts to clean up the mess, she finds with increasing horror that the clutter only carries on to grow. She is constantly having specialized calamities. The paint drips or operates, she are not able to control her brush, chaos reigns, and it seems like there is nothing she can do to make it stop.

She is desperate to regain to pretty. In jeopardizing spontaneity, she has located, to her horror, that she has created something that appears severe or loud or imperfect. Or,even even worse, something grotesque or malformed. She busyally tries painting more safe photography, more bouquets, rainbows, calm surroundings . But the flowers develop sharp edges and darkish colors and grow absolutely out of control , the rainbow colors become wildly fluorescent , and the landscapes becomes populated with darkly mysterious designs and statistics .

At this point she has stepped out of the confines of charming and attractive, and into an unidentified landscape of the wild, the untamed the unkempt and matted. This is often the start of a relationship to the inner Sensible Aged Feminine archetype, also known as the Witch. This is the face of the deep feminine that doesn’t care about appearances . After all, the Witch walks around with missing teeth and warts, and clearly doesn’t care what other individuals think. This is an awakening of the factor of a woman’s soul who is no lengthier a slave to approval and who has started to walk down the long road away from woman as product and commodity.

THE FAT GIRL: Willing to be big, be visible, to come out of hiding, to be a woman and not a little lady, to take in space, to be hungry, to say what she wants, to know what she wants, to be full of herself, to be too big for her britches, to be a full grownup, unafraid to say yes! A fat girl isn’t really afraid to take up space and to take her place in the world.

In my studio I offer high top quality paper that is of ample size, but pupils can tape the sheets together to make even larger paintings. It’s a heady time when a woman can let herself distribute out and take up some real space,when she can make a HUGE painting, one that can occasionally cover an entire wall.

Making a huge painting is a dizzying and terrifying prospect, and a woman often needs heaps of encouragement and authorization to take this step. Actually I usually need to nudge her a little. She will start with stating something about MAYBE desiring to go a little larger with her work. She feels something pushing on her, seeking to come through, and so she will ask if it’s OK to use two items of paper alternatively of one. I generously offer to get the paper for her but come back with four pieces of paper, instead of the requested for two. Irrespective how “nice” she is, at this point she is more than willing to make a fuss, to strenuously object about how it’s too much, she could never fill up that much paper, she doesn’t have enough to express, she could not possibly take up that much area in the studio.

But as I continue to calmly pin the four pieces to the easel, nodding supportively, yet disregarding her progressively frantic protestations, I see the gleam in her eye. She wants this possibility to take up space, to proclaim herself in residing color, to be unmistakably considered, but is qualified to not give voice to this desire. I watch her as she struggles with the forbidden excitement of the obstacle, the possibility, the sheer daring of it. The door to a secret longing is creaking open up on long unused and rusted hinges, opening to her hunger to be big, to be bold, to be outrageous, to be visible as completely and completely herself.

THE BITCHY GIRL: Willing to be intense and powerful; unafraid of her own anger, unafraid to discuss up, to take a stand, to have limits and boundaries, unafraid to say NO! Unafraid to battle abuse, refuses to be treated terribly, willing to break connections and walk away from poisonous relationships if it means protective your own wild and valuable self.

An additional major crossroads takes place in the painting process when a woman realizes how offended and enraged she feels and she lets herself express it on paper for everyone to see. However, the feeling of anger is so taboo and so threatening that it’ll usually sneak in the back door as just a little color. Some red or black appears on the internet page and then little by little or by “incident” grows larger than the woman had intended .

As this continues , the artist begins to feel a little uncomfortable. She will stand back from her now unruly painting with a wondered frown and turn to me , saying something like ” That seems awfully angry,” adopted briefly by, “You know, I’m not really angry. I don’t get angry. A little depressed possibly, but never angry.” This is a very precarious moment in the process. I have had women truthfully walk out of the room to get away from this intimation of anger, wear their coat and announce that they really must leave now. I am typically able to coax her back to the painting for the rest of the class, but once she leaves I’ll often never see her again. The real truth of her own angry feelings is just too frightening, the prohibitions too strong, and all I can do at this point is hope for her that sometime she will be able to feel safe enough to take that deep plunge into her own passionate and furious heart .

For the woman who is geared up to take that terrifying yet interesting dive, admitting that she is indeed angry can allow an incredible depth of feeling to come flooding out. All the yrs of saying yes, yes, yes when she needed to say no, no, NO to unreasonable needs, to abuse, to putting her own needs on a perpetual back burner, come out on the paper in a frenzy of paint , of color, and of image.

For one woman it comes out as a brilliant red background, with black words painted effortlessly and starkly to read “I AM SO PISSED OFF!'”. For another , it is a large image of a woman with wildly traveling red hair, bellowing open mouthed and brazen ” What the $#%@ about me!!!”

A sixty year old woman, who has been married to a Methodist preacher for forty several years, surprises herself by painting a warrior goddess in very hot trousers, with a Colt forty five in one hand and a cake spatula (to be used as a whacking weapon when necessary) in the other.

The paintings sometimes represent images that are recognizable out of fantasy, including a snake haired Medusa, and sometimes are expressed as a whirl of color and chaos, populated by weird, otherworldly creatures putting on very large, VERY sharp teeth. But what they all have in common is that they bounce off the page with the ferocity of emotion portrayed. There’s no mistaking the intent powering these paintings which is some version of ” I’m mad as hell, and I’m not going to take it any longer!”

I RECENTLY READ an article in a promoting journal that was caution advertisers away from utilizing the words power or powerful in ads directed in direction of women. The creator of this article wasn’t asking yourself the issue of women’s fret around power, just stating an obvious ( to him) fact that women will not likely buy products that are associated with the language of power.

We’ve a long historical past as women around being disempowered and victimized, and we have internalized this fear of power, of our own power, for way too long. We are living in times of great exchange and uncertainty and it is critical that we reclaim our birthright of power, authority and creative vision to take advantage of the opportunity that we have to recreate the world as a place where our most treasured values can endure.

There are many ways to face and to treatment this power wound, and impending it through our creativity is just one of them. But it’s a good place to start. As my women student’s and I have realized over many years, it’s fairly possible to experience courage, transformation and self love by wielding the firm end of a paintbrush. And breaking our long allegiance to the Good Girl and making it possible for the Bad Girl an commemorated place in our lives is not only therapeutic, but makes life a lot more fascinating and fun!

Copyright © Chris Zydel 2007

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