#a lot of my wips deal with this more explicitly and it was just--

[weakzen]

i mentioned this a little the other day, mason unintentionally triggering alex's bobby-related ptsd, and this moment in particular really broke my heart. just, her walking into this frosty scene the morning after a tender goodnight, trying to figure out why he's pissed, what she did wrong, and then, in this arena of mock violence, he surges up behind her, looming as he lays a hand, and snaps at her to stop fucking up, to pay attention--

and. like.

she just instinctively freezes up, terrified, wilting into apology and appeasement

and it fucking horrifies him that he did that

that he made her afraid of him

[spookyson]

Ummm literally just made an account and have no idea how this works. Then found this wip in my docs. I have no idea where I was going with it but it will now see the light of day. Omg I didn't even proofread it pls ignore my typos.

Tim woke up in a bed that was not his own.

Not unusual. He sometimes slept in his parents’ bedroom. It smelt like them and would sometimes feel like being with them. But this wasn’t any bedroom that Tim knew.

It was bigger than his room, with navy walls and dark curtains that covered a window larger than the one he was used to. It was also empty, with a few necessities furnishing the sparseness. Tim’s bedroom had never known emptiness after Mrs Mac had given up on it when Tim was 9. 

There were some clothes on the ground. Which was something. He sat up, pucshing off teh soft blanket that gathered at his waits. His bare feet hit the carpeted floor as he continued his research. The clothes on the ground were too big for him. A collared white shirt and charcoal slacks. He found a tie of matching colour under his bed. It reminded him of Dad, this was the sort of thing he wore when he went to the office. 

He looked to the closet and found nothing else. More shirts and ties in different shades, a pair of dress shoes, and a plain yellow hoodie. He didn’t know these clothes. Tim glanced down at his current outfit, a loose black shirt with Superman’s symbol on it and a pair of sweatpants he’d folded three times at the hip for them to stay on. The shirt was something he would wear, so maybe…

Batman had protocols for time travel. Nothing that he had ever explicitly told Tim since he was way too busy devising ways to make Tim quit, but files that Tim had read over when he had a minute to spare, The rules were fairly simple, should he go back in time, he was not allowed to inform anyone he knew of the future nor could he change anything. Things were a bit loose on how to proceed if he traveled to the future, but not to ask any questions and seek the quickest way back home was the best summary of the lengthy text. 

And, it looked like he was at Wayne Manor. So Batman must be around. He would know how to fix this. And, would Tim be able to meet himself? The adult version?

He fights the urge to grin as he tugs open the bedroom door and makes his way to the cave on silent feet. Batman find it unprofessional. Tim’s never actually been in the family wing before, so he goes into the wrong room. It’s an office, but not Bruce’s. There’s a desk in the middle of the room, a whiteboard tacked to one large wall and an old couch near the doorway. Tim wanders inside. He’s never seen it before. There’s an open laptop on the table, so Tim goes there first. It’s likely locked, and he’s not surprised when he finds a neutral blue screen asking the pincode, what’s actually surprising is the person ID. Tim Drake. This is his laptop. 

He doesn’t know why but the first number that comes to him is the day he learnt how to ride a bike. It was nothing super amazing. Some of the other kids in class could do it with no hands, or do wheelies. But Tim was proud. He had figured it out on his own, his father didn’t need to teach him. It baceme the most important date to him for a while.

He taps in the numbers with hesitant fingers and presses the enter key. It’s accepted.

The laptop opens on a video.

“Shit,” says a much older Tim. “You must be 14. Oh god.” 

So there's been some manner rouge attack and the outcome of said rounge attack is that Tim's been deaged to 14. Tim is also Red Robin. Tim also doesn't have a spleen. There may also be ninjas attacking him at random in order to seduce him to their evil immortal overlord's side and likely into his bed. He's also the CEO of Wayne Enterprises. 

"Yeah, I get that it's a lot. But uh, we've always had to deal with a lot, huh? This is a little different from usual, but eh semantics. So, if you're ever confused about anything, find the phone under your pillow and call a person named Pru, she can help you out with any Leaugue of Assassins business and call Kon if it's about anything else."

Big Tim smiles and it's shocking how similar he looks to Tim. He's not s chubby, he's got sharper eyes and cheekbones and his hair is longer than anything Tim would dare to try, but his smile is the same. It's a little joking, a little happy, and just like the thing Tim had seen on the surface of the Batmobile when Batman told him he did a good job at patrol. 

"But you're me, so you got this," says Big Tim. He suddenly looks up over the camera and his expression fades into something neutral. Two seconds pass, Tim hears a door close. "Also, you should get out of the manor as quick as you can. That place wasn't safe for me and it isn't safe for you now. Jason Todd is alive and he hates us. Avoid the Robin in a katana, he's got it out for us too. Bruce can't keep us safe" - Tim notes a miniscule shift in the muscles of Big Tim's jaw - "or won't, if it's possible, he's even harder to read now. Dick is…"  Tim watches as his face falls and something that looks alarmingly like a tear wells up in his eyes. "Dick is… We're not the most important thing to him. Don't count on him to have your back, it's better if you ditch before he sees you."

There's a lot to think about. And before he has the time to give any idea in those last few sentences any serious thought. The Tim on screen is already moving on. 

"Address, phone, laptop and everything else should be in the hidden compartment above your bed. Feel around for the switch. Get to the apartment and send an email to Tam Fox, use the words 'I am unwell and cannot make it to the office. Please postpone my meetings and cancel the order' she'll know what that means. That should be everything. Good luck, kid. " 

The screen cuts to black and Tim's up and moving before he can stew on the contents of the video for too long. It was a selfish thought anyway, that Bruce and Dick and Alfred woul ever love him. He's the replacement for a dead boy, it would have been impossible to live up to him, Tim doesn't know why he tried. And oh god, Jason Todd hates him. The back of his throat burns and he gulps down a swallow, unwilling to let the sounds of his sob infect the silent manor. His hero hates him. The boy he loved the most in the world hates him. 

Dick Grayson was an ideal. Something perfect and untouchable, he wasn't actually. Nobody was perfect, But the first Robin and now Nightwing had always given off the aura of untouchable idealility. He was the example to follow, the person everyone strove to be or wanted to be near. In his brief stint as Robin, Tim noticed how he drove people towards them. Bruce didn’t know it, but he was lighter when Dick was around, and Barabara was more likely to join patrols. The older Titans gravitated around him, like planets in his orbit, a product of long-term trust and friendship, but even strangers seemed to know that Dick was all that is good. 

Of course, Tim knew that he could never replace Jason as his brother, but in the deepest part of his heart, he had always hoped to become family adjacent. That one day Dick would look at him with the same softness he only reserved for Bruce and Alfred. To know that he could not even trust him… Well, that hurt more than he thought possible.

Through some miracle of God, Tim didn’t cry and managed to find the hidden compartment above his bed. In a square hole the size of a small cabinet he found a slim laptop, a phone, and a thick stack of money bound together by a rubber band. There were no clothes he could switch into, but this Gotham was likely similar to his Gotham, no one would bat an eye at a boy wearing oversized clothes. He found some sneakers in the closet, too big, but he fit them over his feet anyway and snuck out of his room for the second time. 

Silence reigned supreme in the manor, bearing an uncanny resemblance to Tim’s house. Big Tim said his house was destroyed in the aftermath of an earthquake that changed a lot of Gotham’s cityscape. The address he found on the phone in his hand was somewhere in the middle of the city, so the second thing he did was call for an Uber in the most silent voice possible. The person on the phone informed him of a twenty-minute wait, which would be plenty of time for Tim to escape Batman’s house and wait outside Drake manor.

The phone was shoved into pockets of his sweatpants, while the money and the laptop rested in a bag he had discovered, and after much exploration, he found what looked to be a family room. 

Tim cursed. This may take longer than his estimated time. He set off down another promising hallway, only to stutter to a stop when he heard voices.

“So? ‘S he alright? Baby bird took a pretty bad hit,” says a voice. It’s rough, like the voice of a smoker, and possesses a thick Crime Alley accent. Male. 

Tim feels his heart stop when he hears the first man’s companion respond. “Alred says he’s healthy, so we moved him up to his room. Timmy should be waking up soon.”

It’s Dick. No no no- He’s supposed to be avoiding Dick. That’s what Big Tim said to do. He shouldn’t be here. He should be moving. 

It’s all for naught because that’s when the men turn the corner and run right into Tim. He runs a quick glance over them. Tall, muscular, and big. One’s bigger than the other and has a white streak through his hair. The other is… it’s Dick. Older, with more lines near his eyes and mouth, but the same person he saw at patrol earlier (or later, depending on who you asked) that day. 

The person who didn’t love him. Who didn’t even like him maybe? 

Tim can’t help it. When their eyes widen and older Dick takes a step toward him, he bursts into tears.   

[fereldanwench]

WIP Whenever (Actually on a Wednesday!)

@chevvy-yates had tagged me in a WIP Whenever thingy last week (I think? What is time) and @breezypunk sharing their WIPs reminded me I meant to do this. So, stuff I'm working on!

Over my Christmas break, I just started barely scratching the surface of working on my own custom poses. Because I'm me, I desperately need some battle couple poses--Fighting side-by-side, holding the other one while they're wounded, maybe fighting each other, etc. I compiled a Pinterest inspo board here to get an idea of what I'm going for.

This pose isn't anywhere close to being finished, but it's a start:

A small confession: while I actually like working in Blender quite a bit, I kind of hate everything else about modding, lmao. I've probably said it before, but my day job requires me to use so many shitty apps and software that always require 37 workarounds just to perform normally--I really don't have a lot of patience for troubleshooting shit during my leisure hours. Hopefully, the project won't become too much of a headache when I get into importing and working with props. 🤞

Virtual photography is always a constant for me these days--I was actually thinking yesterday how it feels like the absolute perfect creative medium for me. I like drawing and writing and 'real' photography, and I very much need to make sure I have more analog and tactile creative projects to keep me sane, but VP just hits in a way nothing else really has.

I am still working on the photostory I shared last time, but I don't want to give away too much there. It's also on a bit of a pause while I figure out some tech issues (read: I regret updating my game, lmao). However, I already have a ton of shots/mini-stories I need to queue up:

Other than that, it's kind of personal reflection shit and contemplating goals/resolutions for 2024. Getting long-winded and a little blunt under the cut:

I've always really struggled with making goals--I don't think I've ever had a situation in which I explicitly stated "I have a goal of XYZ" and then I achieved XYZ. I've had plenty of nebulous "Hey, I think I'd like to do XYZ" thoughts and then lo and behold, I do actually make XYZ a reality, but as soon as the word "goal" is attached to something, I just check tf out.

It was actually something I was trying to talk to my therapist about last summer, and then we kind of hit a dead end on that specific topic and decided I had other problems that were more pressing to deal with, lmao. But all the best goal advice in the world--following the SMART method, sharing it with someone for extra accountability, etc.--Just does not work with my brain.

(The accountability thing in particular always hugely backfires for me because just telling someone I want to do a thing tricks my brain into thinking I did that thing and now I don't need to anymore. Also, I don't like people telling me what to do, so if someone was like "hey, shouldn't you do this thing so you can meet your goal" I will say no just on principle of being a brat, lmao. I really hate that piece of advice.)

I know some of it, probably a lot of it, is fear of failure if I don't meet the goal. I'm very hard on myself--That's a no-brainer.

But I also think some of it, maybe just as much, is fear of success. Which I used to think was the stupidest fucking thing anyone could say about this shit, but success can mean big change. Success can mean increased feelings of imposter syndrome. Success can mean attention and responsibility I don't want. Success can mean bigger consequences if I do fuck up later.

I've come to realize that success is honestly as equally scary to me as failing.

I think this is a big reason I've always been content (or convinced myself to be content) with being good and not great, even if that means I'm not reaching my ~*full potential*~. (There are other external/macro reasons for that too, like my loathing of people trying to push me to monetize my passions, but I don't feel like getting into systemic gripes, lmao.)

Goals that require me to step outside of my usual routine also give me a lot of anxiety, which is something I've working towards managing (you could say that it's a goal of mine to get that under control dfgjhfjgdf), but that's still a very real hurdle for me.

Like I've been trying to go back to a minimum of 20 minutes of dedicated exercise (versus just walking a lot) a 3 times a week, and I get stressed if I miss it, or even just feel like I'm going to miss it (like if 7 PM starts creeping up and I haven't started it yet), but I also get all bent out shape spending 20 minutes on exercising while I'm doing it as if there's a better use of that time and THERE'S NOT. Like, what am I really missing? 20 minutes of scrolling Tumblr? Shut the fuck up, lmao.

All this to say that I don't really feel like I'm ready to set goals in a traditional sense, and that might not be something that ever works for me, but there are things I think would just be... kinda nice for me to do for myself that I want to do this year:

I need to actually be nicer to myself. As a matter of fact, @ren3gade--I hope you don't mind the tag, but I've been meaning to thank you for the "forgive yourself" advice you shared a couple of months back. I started making it a point to use that in my self-talk when I start spiraling, and it has been one of the best means of mitigating certain aspects of my social anxiety. I felt goofy as hell when I first started doing it, but that shit works. Positive self-talk makes you feel better, wow, who knew certainly not me

In a similar spirit, I want to stop being so judgemental about my limitations, and I need to mitigate feelings of guilt when I set boundaries for my mental health and energy. This is something I want to achieve in all areas of my life, but I think the easiest place for me to start flexing these muscles is with fandom. Because, damn, I let myself get into some really bad habits with the CP77 fandom (and I forgive myself for that 🙌). One of the big ones has been putting pressure on myself to keep up with what all my CP77 mutuals are doing at all times, and I'm not doing that to myself anymore. I've spent so much time in the past two years methodically going through tags and blogs to catch up on stuff I missed, and I'm just... relieving myself of this obligation. I know a lot of folks have tried to mitigate that for themselves by encouraging everyone to use their username-tracked tag--I'm not doing that. I'm not giving y'all more tagging work, and I'm not going to give myself the same obligation just in a different way. If I miss a post, I miss a post. Of course y'all are always more than welcome to @ me or send me things you think I'd enjoy (I love that, actually!!), but I'm just one person--I'm incapable of being an omnipresent fandom cheerleader and I don't know why I was pushing myself to be that. Well, that's not entirely true--I have some idea of why, but that's also a mentality I'm leaving in the dust. 😘 Also, for a long time, I did not use the like button for anything other than personal posts purely out of spite because I got tired of people complaining when they'd get likes but not reblogs--My asshole mentality was "Fine, now you get nothing." And that worked for me for several years and several fandoms, but I'm frankly tired of the "like" slander on Tumblr. It's a valid form of interaction and letting someone know you liked their stuff. I don't say this with malice, but other people's mentality of being unhappy with likes instead of reblogs is not my burden to bear. Anyway, I don't want to turn this into a rant about fandom stuff, lmao, but the point is I need more boundaries in my life, and I'm starting here.

I'm happier when I spend more time than I have been on traditional art and creative things that get me off my PC. Like I said above, I love VP so much, but it does unfortunately tether me to my computer desk longer than is probably good for me in the long run, mentally and physically. I stocked up on some new traditional art supplies, and I need to put those to use now that I'm settled into my new place. (And I've been itching to do a charcoal portrait of my bb girl.)

Reading books (gotta be physical, no screens) also makes me feel better. I've got about 7 books on my nightstand that I could totally finish this year--Doing that might be the one stereotypical goal I make for myself.

I want to reevaluate how I "multitask;" in particular, I want to break the habit of always having to have a background show/movie on OR always feeling the need to do something on my computer/phone while I watch a show/movie. Even as a kid (way before I lost my attention span to my smartphone lmao), I've always been inclined to doing something else while I watch shows and movies, but that used to be limited to drawing or painting my nails, which I think is fine. Now I just always feel like I need a screen nearby to do something else, even if there's really not something else worth doing. And listening to music or podcasts while I work on a thing is also fine, but it's gotten to the point where I almost can't have complete silence, and I don't like that. I miss being comfortable with silence while I pour all of my focus into a project. I just need to find some equilibrium here.

I know this isn't exactly a standard WIP Whenever, but me is what I'm working on, and I think it's all essential stuff to nurturing my creativity. 😊

[socially-awkward-skeleton]

I'm so glad I'm not the only one that has WIPs upon WIPs upon WIPs. 😉 So...question about Rory, the woman that she is:

What's one thing that you've referenced about her, but haven't overtly said "this is a Rory thing." (I know it's a toughie, sorry!)

You are certainly not alone, I have so many WIPs and they don't stop coming, and they don't stop coming... Thank you for asking about Rory my beloved angel, that means a lot <3 (also not me having a small moment realizing that you kudos'd AATW and squealing just a little bit) Anyhoo... things I've referenced but haven't explicitly stated about Rory is definitely her childhood in Canada. There's small mentions sprinkled throughout her story (usually to do with her mother) but it's not generally detailed and that is definitely on purpose. I have a full backstory for her childhood, but honestly, I think I'm the only one interested in that much information about her life before the UK.

A big part of her childhood being left out of her story is a lot to do with her mother's death and some of her first major traumas. She prefers not to think on her childhood because while the vast majority of her memories are good, full of happy moments, it's easier to forget than to face what she really feels (a wink to her coping strategy of making jokes to deal with the horrors, girl goes to therapy and is not doing so well at actually taking the advice) It's where her abandonment issues spring from, having her parents divorce when she was 8 and her dad move back to the UK, having her mom become ill when Rory was 12 and then slowly battle against cancer, dying two years later. She's never fully processed what happened to her, burying it, because she wasn't given the chance to properly grieve before the upheaval of moving to the UK and basically starting a whole new life.

I could go off on a tangent about this part of her forever, but yeah, basically her PTSD from her military career is not her only trauma, and the skeletons in her closet really only aggravate the problem, but her past with her mother is also where all of her kindness and more gentle nature come from, so its a bit of a double-edged sword.

I hope I actually answered the question and didn't just ramble randomly lol, thank you for the ask <3

[bluiex]

Hoi! I saw the ask about Ariana Griande seeing Scarlet (I think that's the name the anon used) and just wanting to ride her, and so I wrote this instead of finishing my WIP. This is very much suggestive, but nothing explicitly sexual happens. 

-

Ariana Griande waved and smiled at her audience, giving them butterfly kisses before going backstage. She sighed and fanned herself, controlling the urge to put her cold hands on her face. She needed to keep the make-up on to see the patrons later on after all the performances were done. Someone approached her, wearing black and headphones on, and motioned her to follow them, concentrated on the notepad. 

She hummed and walked towards probably one of the assistants the open bar hired. Her plate-formers thud against the wooden floor, desperately trying to ignore the ache that came with wearing them for a long time. They went to the general dress-room, one of the girls finalizing her outfit and wig. When she spotted Ariana, she flushed and immediately went back to adjusting her wig. Ariana huffed, flicking her ponytail on her other shoulder, and sat down on the seat the assistant gestured to.

“You have ten minutes to change before going in the audience,” they said in a monotone voice.

Ariana smiled, big and saccharine. “Thank you, sweetie.”

They cleared their throat and left the room, followed by the girl. When she was finally alone, she groaned and resisted the urge to slam her forehead on the counter. She grabbed one of the mini-fans, and got little-to-no cool air from it. So much for a warm reception. It happened every year, and she kept wondering why it surprised her. Performing during the summer was hell incarnated. 

No more dilly-dallying, she took her outfit for the rest of the evening, and in less than two minutes, she was reapplying her make-up, adjusting her wing, and winked at herself in the mirror. The door slammed open, making her squawk. She turned to see who it was, ready to murder them until she saw that famous moustache.

“Mumbo, you scared the shit out of me,” she said, a hand on her chest.

He gave her a sheepish smile. “Sorry, I just wanted to tell you that you were amazing back there.”

She grinned. “No duh, I am a professional.”

Mumbo rolled his thumbs nervously. “Well, yeah, but I figured a compliment wouldn’t hurt.”

Ariana walked towards him and wrapped her arms around his neck, a smug look on her face. He squeaked and his face became red. 

“That’s so sweet of you, Mumbo.” She gave him a kiss on the cheek, holding her chuckle when his ears became red. “Always the gentleman.”

Mumbo nodded vigorously, not getting away from her embrace but not touching her in return. She let go and walked pass him, waving goodbye. 

“I’ll catch up with you later, yeah?”

“Y-yeah,” Mumbo swallowed loudly, voice an octave higher. 

Ariana giggled and left, finding the main floor of the open bar. She really didn’t want to deal with the heat, but she was paid by the hour for this event and no way in hell she was giving up an opportunity like this. She plastered a sweet smile on her face, making sure to exaggerate the swing in her hips and to show her leg in the split of her skirt. Some were whistling when she went more outside, but most were eyes glued to the performance. 

Ariana slightly pouted when most weren’t paying attention to her, so, out of curiosity, she glanced at the stage. Ariana has seen a lot of performances, but what she was looking at was above and beyond. Flowers of all kinds of colours in the wig, a mix of pastel and saturated colours that somehow fit perfectly well together, a shoulder piece that framed her head while her arms were covered in vines and leafs, mini skirt to let her move her legs. But that wasn’t it all. The way she danced and lip-sync was over the top, even for the upbeat song. 

There were queens out there who liked being extra and flamboyant, it just wasn’t Ariana’s style. This queen right there took the flamboyant definition and dialled it up to a hundred. She was wearing legs braces, which seemed to be painted in this orange-pink gradient like the rest of the outfit. She seemed so free in her movements, so expressive, so in her element, Ariana wondered how she’s never seen her before. 

Something touched her bare shoulder, making her yelp and swivelled to slap the person who dared to touch her. She stopped when she realized it was only Mumbo. 

“Stop scaring me like that,” she hissed under her breath.

Mumbo raised his hands in surrender, grimace on his face. He mumbled apologetically and pointed at the queen performing.

“Do you know her? I wasn’t there when they announced her name.”

Ariana shook her head regretfully. “No, never seen her.”

He hummed. “She’s quite impressive, isn’t she?”

Ariana turned her head slowly to her friend, a smirk on her face. 

“Well, well, well, it seems Mister Mumbo Jumbo here does have a favourite.”

He squeaked, face red, shaking his hands and head. “N-no! That’s not what I was implying—”

She put her finger to his nose, bouncing it right back. “I was just teasing.”

He laughed nervously only to abruptly stop. She frowned and looked back at the performance, only to realize the queen was approaching them with a sway of her hips, lips moving to the lyrics. Her mouth opened when she saw her up front. She was stunning, and Ariana saw many stunning queens in the industry. She was right on top of the list currently. Ariana didn’t care if the queen had a larger form than the stereotypical feminism or that even with the makeup, she could see that stubble. 

The flower queen placed her hands on the table Ariana was leaning on, circled her hips and winked at her with her mouth as well. Ariana wasn’t one to blush easily, but she felt her cheeks warming up and the smug look Mumbo sent her. The queen turned around them, making sure not to touch them, but also getting in their personal bubble. Ariana wondered how long this song lasted until the queen finally left them for the stage, finishing the song.

She waved her swooning audience goodbye before going backstage. A volunteer appeared on stage, microphone in hand.

“Good Times with Scarlet, everybody!”

Mambo elbowed her, wiggling his eyebrows. After feigning pain at her friend’s jab, she scoffed.

“C’mon, you saw the way she was looking at you!”

Ariana crossed her arms. “I am still on the clock, Mumbo.”

“Just saying,” he said innocently, diverting his gaze.

She shook her head and went back to entertain the patrons of the bar, going inside and outside occasionally. The queen was still at the forefront of her mind, getting her distracted a lot of times, but the impression show between the other queens were also very auditory distracting. Still, Ariana was good at her job, and she will get paid after the end of the night. 

Except, that didn’t happen. A lot of things didn’t go her way, but she didn’t regret this one. Because in the corner of her eye, after Mumbo left, Scarlet was leaning against the door that lead to the backrooms, a smirk on her lips. She wasn’t wearing the shoulder piece or the flowers in her wig, but was still wearing her flamboyant leotard. 

Ariana took her expression as a challenge and went towards her, grin on her face. Scarlet was slightly towering over her, which made Ariana glad to keep her plate-formers.

“Well hello there,” Scarlet greeted, a mischievous glint in her green eyes.

“Hi beautiful,” Ariana tilted her head, grin widening.

“You’re quite gorgeous yourself.”

Ariana hummed in thought. “Yes, I could tell your eyes were devouring me earlier.”

Scarlet’s smirk only became sharper. “You can’t blame a woman for having taste.”

“No, indeed,” Ariana replied. She went closer to her chest, fingers brushing against it. “Can’t let it go to waste either.”

She made sure to pout and give her puppy eyes. Scarlet let out a laugh (oh god, that laugh had no right of being this beautiful), and leaned closer to her face, hand on her bicep.

“And where would the gorgeous songbird prefer to show her potential?”

A shiver ran through her spin at the nickname, cheeks becoming warmer. She wouldn’t let her seduce her to submission, so she copied her smirk and brought their face close enough for their nose to touch. 

“Don’t worry your little pretty head about, and leave it to Miss Griande to take care of you, hm?”

Scarlet’s face blushed and nodded slightly, making Ariana chuckle. She might not get paid, but she’ll have one hell of a night, and she’ll guarantee it for both of them.

 -- Bloop anon that submitted this instead of putting it in an anon ask. Hope you don't mind!

[millennialgrandma]

2023 Wrap Up

Ok, so. I really meant to post this in January. Had most of it drafted and all but a few of the stats done. And then [gestures widely], life. When I sat down with my airtables and my notebook to begin the task of summarizing this 2023 in words, I honestly couldn't intuit where I fell in comparison to 2022. I knew I read more traditionally published books, which was thrilling in and of itself (although wholly unexpected). And I knew that as each month of the year passed, I despaired over how little fanfic I got to read (and how little I was able to interact with the fanfic community). Life served a whole lot of lemons this year. And rather than retreat into fandom and burrow under the blanket of escapism to deal with the stress, I...held it at arm's length. Perhaps because I was terrified that once I started, I wouldn't be able to stop. Or because I felt I didn't deserve the escape (I had too much to do). Or because I just didn't have the time for a proper spiral. Probably all of the above.

Words Written

It's funny I've chosen to highlight this stat with its own heading this year, given the facts. Despite my best (ok, really more like medium) efforts, I barely managed to squeak out 2,300 words (a quick little fic and a smaller little ficlet). And I guess I just wanted to tell myself that that's ok. That as disheartening as it is to look back and see so few words, to know that I signed up and backed out of fests, it's ok. I spent some time working on the MCD fic here and there, and I know I'm going to be really proud of it when I'm finally done. I have so many more stories to tell. The words will come when they come.

Traditionally Published Books

Last year I set myself a goal of 12 books and only managed to read two. I am happy to report I smashed it out of the park this year with a total of 13 books. The biggest contributing factor here is, of course, the way I devoured all the Grishaverse books in April. I enjoyed a new release (Forget Me Not) and a couple of delightful queer romance novels (RWRB and Boyfriend Material). I continue to study astrology (when I remember), and my love of history accounts for the books on the Cold War and the last crossing of the Lusitania.

Total word count on traditionally published books comes in at approximately 1,538,705 words.

Completed Fics

The vast majority of fics I read continue to be within the Harry Potter fandom. I branched out a bit more to other fandoms this year, but HP will always be my first love. RWRB will get its own section this year, as that's the fandom I'm most heavily invested in after HP. The remainder will be compiled into separate section for ease of tracking stats.

Harry Potter

In 2023, I read a total of 113 completed fics (a handful of them 2-3 times) in the HP fandom, for a total word count of 917,126 words. The 2 fics that started the year in WIP status (and were subsequently completed) will be included in the WIP word count below.

AO3 RATINGS

I remain a horny monster. Explicit fics accounted for all but 2 fics read. Those two tiny little paragons of virtue were rated GA.

PAIRINGS

Dramione remains my most wide-read ship, all though I slutted myself out a fair few more pairings this year. Dramione was referenced as the sole main pairing in 43 (or 38%) of the fics. I read 50 fics (44%) that had non-dramione pairings, with the most popular being parkweasel and harmony. The remaining handful of fics (those that don't fall into exclusively dramione, or explicitly non-dramione) are filthy, dirty threesome/foursome/moresome smut, which usually pair dramione at some point among the tangled limbs.

RWRB

So I read RWRB back in August, and watched the movie and became a wee bit obsessed with these dumbass boys. I had grand plans to then feast upon the wonderful world of fic in this fandom, but life kept getting in the way. Even though I didn't get to read much, I'm breaking this fandom out from the rest because it deserves its own spotlight and I foolishly made grand grand plans for spiraling in 2024. All told, I read 9 completed fics for a total word count of 263,058 words. All were rated Explicit or Mature, most were multi-chap, and all but one featured firstprince exclusively (shoutout to whimsymanaged for being the whore of my heart and feeding me a threesome).

Other Fandoms

I ventured into a few more fandoms this year and I'll be so real with you, I did it exclusively for horny reasons. Fics in this category totaled 127,815 words.

S&B (darklina): 9 fics, 63k words

Anne of Green Gables (shirbert): 10 fics, 31k words

HoTD (mostly harwin/rhaenyra): 6 fics, 22k words

LoTR (haladriel): 2 fics, 7.5k words

Euphoria: 1 fic, 4k words

WIPs

This is probably the saddest section out of all of them, because I neglected my WIPs quite horribly. I think this was part of the whole "denying-myself-fun-until-I-get-stuff-done" mindset: since I wasn't making progress, I didn't get my WIPs. Truly an awful mentality, and the more I write about it the more I'm thinking that it didn't actually accomplish anything except keep me miserable.

At the start of the year, I was following 19 WIPs. Two of these were completed during the year, and I did finish them. I managed to catch up on two others, and somehow added four more. There are a handful of the WIPs I was following that completed during the year that I *didn't* catch up on. First order of business when I get to a place of intentional reading in 2024 is coming back to each and every one of these 21 abandoned children.

Final Tally

And with that said, my 2023 fanfic word count was 1,393,225 words and my tradpub word count was 1,538,705 words, for a total of 2.933 million words read for pleasure this year.

This comes in at 92% of 2022's total reading, and 42% of 2021's. I'm happy I at least got close to a level comparable to 2022. I don't think I'll ever reach 2021 levels again, but it is fun to compare against that absolutely fucking bananas year of reading. BUT. It is sad to see the number continue to go down, and really reinforces the need to change my mindset about fun being a reward that I earn (I'm working on it, I swear, but as I'm posting this in May instead of January you can see that I'm not off to a great start for 2024).

Outside of everything I've read listed above, I also got the immense privilege to read early drafts of a handful of original works that a big beautiful brain I know is working on. I can't quantify those in the word count, but let me just say there are so many character stories I am holding in my heart and I cannot wait for other people to know them and shriek over them someday, too.

My promise for 2024 is to get back to my menace ways. I've got a lot of ground to make up, but I think I might just be able to do it.

[crepuscularqueens]

whadduppp!!!! would you mind terribly if i asked for four wips as well?? i HAVE TO ask about 'the future's in our hands and we will never be the same again' & '(how to acheive immortality (the terrible price))' !!!! and, god.. they're all soo.. your title game is sicko mode... 'when i walk into a room i do not light it up' & 'untitled bb au', too?

omg heyyy!!! i absolutely do not mind at all hehe thank you so much (and thank you SO much for the tag, these are always so fun :))

the future's in our hands and we will never be the same again was actually the second in a series neither of which have seen the light of day, but the premise of the first part is the usual post tws stuff. steve and sam are looking for bucky, natasha is also helping a lot of the time bc she's integral to the dynamic. they find bucky, bring him to a safe house, try to figure out what his whole deal is at the moment. this one starts out right before they leave for the safe house, and once they get there the four of them learn in their own ways what it is they need to be a person again, and the answer to that is CLEARLY have a shrek marathon.

Natasha got up and went to a closet, which upon opening revealed a shelf full of tapes. “Any thoughts or is it dealer’s choice?” she asked. “I don’t feel like thinking,” Sam answered. Steve shrugged as she looked at him, “No preference.” “Okay,” Nat yanked a tape out and held it aloft, “Then you can’t complain.” The cover had four characters sitting in front of a giant green ‘S’. Steve really couldn’t complain because he had no idea what it was. Sam could, though.

“Ugh,” he groaned, wrinkling his nose in mock-disgust, “Shrek? Yeah, this is definitely why you weren’t invited to sleepovers.” “Correct,” she said, clearly trying to keep her laughter at bay as she slid the tape into the machine to start the movie, “That is literally the only reason.”

&

"Well I'm not mad at that view," she said appreciatively. "Shit," Sam repeated, angling the phone away from Bucky as he stood, who was laughing and doing absolutely nothing to cover himself, "Video call, Romanoff?" "I have no regrets," she replied warmly, "Hey, Rogers, you owe me twenty dollars." "Jesus, really?" they heard Steve's muffled voice call as Sam sat back on the bed next to Bucky, who pulled a rumpled sheet over their laps to give a modicum of decency as he finally propped himself up into a seated position.

lol and also lmao this part of the series was 36k and i just. abandoned it. maybe someday i will fix it

harrow the ninth/treasure island (how to acheive immortality (the terrible price)) is actually the full title of it SO lol. this one is evil and it actively eats my brain every time i open the document. but i love it.

Silver (Harrow) removes Flint (Gideon) from his memory, awakens to find Max at his bedside, expression unreadable (disappointed? Annoyed? Smug?)

Billy (Ianthe) is soon to find him (either at the tavern already or arrives soon after. Maybe he was the one to suggest this step) wants to find the cache. Silver does not want to but after Billy takes off with the clear intent to go through with his plan (obviously not remembering their falling out because he does not remember Flint. In not remembering Flint, he also does not remember large portions of his relationship with Madi. Madi has long since parted ways with Silver, unable to stomach the lies that have festered their relationship)

Silver remembers Vane (Ortus) as the captain who he started the revolution, Charles’ death acting as what killed it in its cradle

Miranda’s (Abigail) “ghost” coming to Silver in his remembrance of the Black Sails timeline, constantly questioning the way he tells things, challenging him without explicitly stating it

In this version of events, Gates and Miranda are allowed to grow close and confer with one another, consulting on the progress of things

it's a very loose adaptation of htn, so it's more of a springboard then a real au

“How could I?” asked Billy, sour note infecting his voice, “You taught me that lesson quite thoroughly. But I want you to remember who it was that created you, Long John, who it was that made your shadow one to be so feared. I want you to remember how quickly it really is that a man can gain and lose favor, especially when there’s money involved.” “And yet, that never seemed to apply to me, did it?” you hissed, “No, Billy. I have never lost their favor before and you are not nearly as clever as you seem to think to frighten me into believing that I am close to it now. I don’t intend to be so stupid as to think myself teetering on that edge at the current moment.” Billy laughed wryly, gripping your shoulder in one hand and looking down into your eyes, expression unnervingly even, “God, this whole ordeal has made you mad, hasn’t it? I know what it is you’ve lost, Silver, I know what it is you removed from yourself to ease the pain. I know how to bring it back. Ask me to and we can be done with this whole ridiculous mess. You did what you needed to do, you never needed to feel guilty for it. “Besides, what man in our line of work doesn’t have a few bodies he’s buried? How is he any different from the rest?” “Fuck you, Billy,” you said, voice full of heat and venom as you jerked out of his grip, “I will not hear this again. I do not want what you’re offering.”

when i walk into a room i do not light it up is a magicians penntin fic because i am a clown and i'll never be over them. sorry. my usual disclaimer of don't watch the magicians it sucks. anyway this is an attempt to hook up at a party that goes TERRIBLY wrong at first but works out for them in the end

Without being completely conscious of the movement, his hand came up for a third time to rake nervously through his hair, never making it before Penny's hand closed around his wrist. His grip was solid and warm, but not too tight, like he was giving Q every opportunity to break away if he wanted to. All the sudden, the guy was in Quentin's space, apparently very interested in the hand he now had a hold of.  "I'd accuse you of trying to claw your hair out of your scalp, but I think you bite your nails too short for that." Quentin's thoughts dissolved with a bit of a fizzle, or something like TV snow, or radio static, or pop rocks. One of those for sure. He only seemed capable of stammering incomprehensibly. “I can practically hear the little gears in your head shifting into a dangerous speed,” Penny remarked with a smirk, “Jesus, Coldwater, you have no chill.” Penny’s other hand came up to gently caress the side of Quentin’s face, leaning in until they were only a hair’s breadth apart. Quentin’s brain finally caught up with what was happening and he jerked away suddenly, snapping his head back so quickly he cracked it against the sharp corner of the cabinet in a moment of confused panic. “Shit,” Penny hissed, stepping back but still half reaching out towards Quentin, "Shit, I’m sorry, I didn't read that right, are you okay?"

untitled bb au is a modern day ofmd blackbonnet fic hehehe. i never fleshed it out enough in writing, but i think the premise was stede and ed broke up and stede was being WEIRD about it (and they'd eventually get back together once stede calmed down lmfao).

"Jim said you're being weird," a familiar voice said from behind him. Stede looked over his shoulder to see Oluwande behind the bar, giving him A Look. Stede didn't want to know what exactly the meaning of it was, but it was certainly meant to convey something. "I haven't seen Jim in ages," Stede tried for plausible deniability while not quite lying. It was true, it had to have been a couple of months since he had seen Jim. "Yeah, I know. Kinda makes it weirder that you call up their work every week on the busiest night then hang up before they can help you." Right, of course Olu would know, being that Jim was his partner and they were probably getting sick of all this. Stede felt his cheeks heat up a little, but stubbornly kept up his pretense. "Could be another man who sounds like me?" "You're aware that this is the twenty first century and pretty much everywhere's got caller ID, right?" Olu almost looked torn between amused and unimpressed now, "Maybe it could be someone that sounds just like you, but unlikely his name is also Stede Bonnet. Not a common one, mate."

[vole-mon-amour]

Thinking about my OC Marie: a longhaired curly blonde with expressive eyes (not set on what colour yet) and (maybe?) small freckles all over her face.

She has Russian, Ukranian, and Jewish blood in her (probably lots of others, but it's not like she tested her DNA and genetics).

She's anything but skinny (I wouldn't call her fat, but I bet many people would. Fat isn't a bad word, it's just I personally have a different idea/understanding of being fat than what society teaches us. I'd say she has a curve to her body & to me she's gorgeous.)

She's a bisexual (lesbian? not sure yet) that immigrated from Russia to USA (not sure where to yet, probably LA, California) as a makeup artist. Her parents aren't explicitly homophobic, but they're religious & there's some tention (I haven't decided what to do with them yet.) And the Russian government is, well, very homophobic.

She formerly tried to model & it brought some money, but she had more passion for the beauty industry, especially makeup. Not only she saved everything she could by working hard, but she also landed herself a good deal within the industry, which opened her a path to USA.

In USA she met a woman (Emma) who became her partner and at the time of the story they're fostering a kitten. Emma's parents adore Marie and treat her like their own daughter. She truly is with her family there.

And the story is set in the Uncharted 4 universe. Marie is one of Nathan's best friends & she plays a big role in helping him and in his life in general. They met during her vacation while he was haunting treasures. He probably tried to hit on her, but she wasn't interested & they hit it off talking all night. She was so easy to talk to that, well, best friends despite living in different parts of the country.

The idea for the fic in general is Nathan getting Sam out of prison since (but it's drakecest, because what else did you expect? :). It's currently a very long term wip/abandoned wip, but I think about it a lot & one day I'll return to it.

I'm still not set on the details, but the overall idea is there. Her curly long blond hair is what I see very clearly. And I have such a complicated relationship with OCs (I don't create them and prefer canon characters), but this one felt right. I definitely wouldn't want to change Elena to the point of not being recognized, so an OC was inserted. Marie is probably the only one that I have that has a full on backstory.

[rmgold-blog]

I read this fic and I thought it was great so I would like to recommend it:

It's a fic centered around the relationship of Madam Pomfrey and a young Remus Lupin during his first year of Hogwarts, as Madam Pomfrey struggles with her preconceptions of what werewolves are.

I would not recommend this fic for anyone who is squeamish/doesn't like anything pertaining to medical practices and injuries etc. it's pretty mild in this fic, but it is there, so be warned.

Also be warned that there is at least one moment where the implied medical treatment would be to (tw: death mention) "put down" a child. This is never explicitly stated, but it is implied.

This fic is unfinished/WIP. But I feel that, as it is now, it's still a fairly complete read.

Read more for fic link, and in-depth review.

At the Very Least

By AraHannen

Summary:

Dumbledore raises an eyebrow, his blue eyes glinting behind his half-moon spectacles. “I am hoping, my dear Poppy, that you are not averse to tunnels?”

“I’m not sure it matters.”

“Oh, it matters very much.”

When Albus Dumbledore plants a killer tree and tells her he’s admitted a Class XXXXX student, Poppy Pomfrey is not happy - even if he says Remus Lupin is the loveliest, sweetest, most agreeable first year around.

Review/Ramble (Mild Spoilers)

I am personally a big fan of hurt/comfort and whump, and this fic served that like a delicious and filling meal.

The way this fic deals with raw emotions is just incredible. It made me cry on a few occasions. Remus's separation anxiety really got me in the feels. (On a very personal note, I grew up with my dad serving in the navy. He would leave for months at a time to serve overseas, so the moments where Remus begs to see his dad really, really resonated with me). But I also think it's so refreshing to see a fic that acknowledges Remus's pain, and the fact that while he does have to deal with it every month - that doesn't ever make it any easier. He doesn't grow "used" to the pain.

It reminds me of a tiktok I saw recently by Hadley Vlahos (Sorry for YouTube and Facebook links, I have forsaken tiktok, but I still watch Reels and Shorts.) Hadley describes pain as being like a smoke detector with a low battery, beeping loudly. People who don't have chronic pain can just change the battery and the problem is solved, but people with chronic have tried, changing the battery, shutting off the breaker, etc. But nothing works. She goes into more detail involving someone's best means of pain relief, and how even if they don't look like they're in pain, it may be cruel to take that relief away.

All this to say that in this fic Madam Pomfrey struggles a lot with this idea that Remus experiences pain - not just from his wounds or during the transformation itself, but the ache in his bones from his body having to suffer the way it has for so long. It's not in her medical books, and she tries to reason with herself over and over again that Remus "must be used to it". But he's not. And I think that's such a compelling dynamic to write about, such an important thing to learn and really brings a lot of attention not just to the pain of this fictional character, but to real people too.

It really adds to my own personal characterization and lore surrounding Remus. It's a wonderfully emotional story and I'm just so glad I've read it.

[ellesliterarycorner]

Writing Political Intrigue

Spoilers for A Song of Ice and Fire/Game of Thrones

At this point, my whole account should just be a blanket spoiler warning for Game of Thrones. Everything about it is perfect, and one day I will be able to write political intrigue as well as GRRM. I’m speaking it into existence guys. Literally that is quite possibly one of my biggest aspirations in life. If any of my political intrigue plots turned out half as good as his, I wouldn’t even care if my book gets published. Today’s post is about my favorite part of one of my current WIPs, and that is the political intrigue. Personally, I think well written political intrigue makes any book better, and that’s just a fact. It adds a lot of juicy drama to any story, but writing intrigue is literally one of the hardest things on the planet for me, other than like math. So, here are some tips to write that perfect political intrigue plot and spice up your WIP. 

Keep Both Sides Morally Grey:

My biggest turnoff when reading political intrigue is when the author explicitly tells me that one side is good and the other side is bad. Even if your mc is working for one particular side, don’t actually tell the audience that the mc’s side is good. I would go as far as to say that in heavily political settings, neither side is completely good, and when dealing with plots and intrigue, both sides are going to be morally grey. One side may claim to have the interests of the people at heart, but that might not actually be true and that does not inherently make them the good side. Lots of dictators throughout history have claimed to have the people’s best interests at heart, but when finally put into power, revealed they couldn’t give a damn about the people. All they wanted was power. Plus, it’s so much more interesting when both sides have a little bit of bad in them, and the MC has to choose between the lesser of two evils. 

Don’t Reveal the Extent of the Plot: 

In most cases, those involved in intrigue plots may not know exactly how deep the plot goes, especially in large plots with many different moving parts. Very rarely will more than one person know the entire extent of a scheme. You have the mastermind of course, but the best masterminds trick people into thinking they’re all doing their own thing to service their own goals when in actuality they have been serving the mastermind’s goals the whole time. Most intrigue plots start out as one small thing that snowballs and snowballs into something greater. My favorite example is Game of Thrones. The audience doesn’t learn until the fifth season of the show and the third book if I’m not mistaken that Littlefinger, a singular person, was more or less responsible for all of the chaos and political drama that has been going on in Westeros. Most of the other character don’t even know that all of these somewhat seemingly unrelated events are all very very connected. GRRM, the author, does a great job of slowly revealing things in a way that allows the reader to connect the dots and discover things for themselves. 

Keep the Big Picture in Mind:

This relates back to the above tip. Even though the audience doesn’t and may never the full extent of the political scheme, you should. Sorry to all my pantsers out there, but knowing the extent of a plot or scheme can help immensely with writing it and with including foreshadowing. It will help you place characters in certain locations and give said characters the necessary motivations to do certain things in the story to advance the plot. Your story may not go into in-depth detail of what motivates every single side character, bit if you, as the author have a general idea of what characters want, it will you create the setting and make the scope of the plot much more realistic. I recommend keeping a whole lot of notes. Even int he smallest of political schemes and plots, the author will have a lot to keep track of. I would recommend keeping lists of character’s goals, motivations, and personal connections. These notes prevent the most dreaded plot holes. 

Its All About the Players 

Political intrigue plots are very very character driven. Wether or not the characters know it, every decision they make affects the plot in someway. In any story every character has their own agenda, but especially in stories with a heavily political settings, every single character is going to have a different agenda. Some of those agendas will overlap which is how you get alliances. Other times people’s beliefs and ideologies come into conflict which is how we get disagreements and eventually wars. Not all, but a fair enough number of politicians only have their own personal interests at heart. Unfortunately, we live in a world where not every politician runs for office in order to serve their community. Make your story reflect that. Any system of government will have  some form of corruption. Maybe your MC is a part of the corrupt network, or they are working to bring it down. Either way, character agendas and goals will heavily influence your story. 

Think Smarter Not Bigger 

One problem a lot of first time political intrigue writers (i.e. yours truly) have is that they want to create this huge intricate scheme with a hundred mini plots baked inside of it. A lot of time that can make the plot fall flat unless it’s written correctly. In my opinion, the best political schemes are the small, well though out plots that end up spiraling into something that takes down kings and empires. Maybe the mastermind meant for that to happen. Maybe they didn’t. Another Game of Thrones example. In the grand scheme of things, Jon Arryn’s death shouldn’t have been that big of a deal. It’s the catalyst of the whole entire story, but when you think about it, it shouldn’t have had too much impact on the world. GRRM does a great job of making that small event with almost no world impact gradually grow larger and larger as the extent of the plot is revealed and more people are drawn into it. A small, smart plot can be just as affective or even more affective than a large complex one. 

Research. Research. Research!!!!!!

One of the hardest parts of writing political intrigue is that it often requires you to write characters that are way smarter than you. I know very little about diplomacy and international trade relations, but several of my characters can talk about it in their sleep. But, I have something my characters don’t....Google. I google almost everything I write about. Research everything that you might need to know for your plot. Your plot involved a succession crisis? Research the War of the Spanish Succession. Is there an arranged marriage in your political scheme? History is full of arranges marriages, some good, some bad, and some very bad. Going back and finding historical events that relate to your plot is one of the best research techniques. GRRM was inspired by the War of the Roses. My main antagonist is inspired by Napoleon. History is your friend, I promise. Also, watching tv shows with good political plots or subplots can also help. Some of my favorites are obviously Game of Thrones, House of Cards, the Tudors, the Borgias, and the Medici. 

[curiosity-killed]

Lang Qianqiu deserves more love goddammit: a post, unfortunately

This brought to you by the wonderful @veliseraptor & @/yuer on Twitter but also mostly out of spite and the fact that it’s preventing me from writing a very dumb poke-the-bear post abt the entire weird social media culture around The Minors

As always ✨SPOILERS!! SPOILERS EVERYWHERE✨

So first off: when I hit the scene where lqq confronts xl and screams “I will never be like you” I sat up in bed, did a little shimmy of delight, and hissed “fuck yes” at like 2 AM so. Now you have a preview of wtf this train wreck will be

1 ) lqq is a good character

We don’t get a ton of time with lqq because tgcf is 87 side characters running across stage with The Most Interesting Concept constantly one-upping each other before vanishing. But what we do get is, I think, enough to make a pretty compelling story: Lang Qianqiu is a kind and generous prince who is also the sole survivor of the bloody massacre of his entire family, committed by the people dearest to him (both in his belief that Gusohi Fangxin did it and in the reality of An Le’s involvement), who goes on to peacefully lead his fractious nation into a peaceful reign before he ascends as a powerful enough (aka beloved and worshipped enough) god to be ranked among the top heavenly generals. That’s like. Pretty fucking classic protagonist vibes right there.

And, as usual with mxtx’s characters, we get a lot more than this lovely little backstory. In his interactions in canon, lqq is capable of great grief and anger; he is willing to sacrifice himself if it means avenging his murdered family; and he simultaneously holds both great hatred and great respect for his old teacher. And, of course, he winds up raising and taking care of his enemy’s son which shows a remarkable depth of compassion and emotional messiness that I find terribly compelling. He struggles with a simplistic view of justice that is supported by lies told to “protect” him and that is uprooted by the truth and forces him to try to make sense of the world without the guardrails that others installed around him (looking at you mister fangxin sir).

Also I’m stealing my own tweets bc I’m Right but:

*pulls up single barstool to lqq is a good character table* I think it’s interesting & Says Things abt the continued relationship btwn lqq & xl that lqq *didn’t* recognize xl, implying that he left fangxin’s mask in place even when he went to kill him

Like here is the man who killed his family & best friend, who left him abandoned in bloodshed on his 17th bday—& here is also the man who saved his life, who taught him, who lqq looked up to & wanted to be like

Even when lqq *does* recognize xl, he still has so much respect for him paired with that hatred that it’s honestly rlly tragic? Like man. There’s so much grief in lqq’s repeated demands for a duel & insisting it’s fine if xl kills him as long as he doesn’t hold back

*pats lqq pompom* this bb is so sad. And so much more like his teacher than either of them seem to realize or necessarily want

Despite being a pretty minor character, lqq gets a lot of complexity and nuance! Look at this child trying to be grown up while desperately turning to his old master for guidance and “the truth”! Look at him! Be sad!!

2 ) lqq is an excellent parallel to xl

Okay stealing my own tweet again don’t look at me I yell the same shit everywhere

Xl didn’t want lqq to become like him (self-sacrificing, vengeful, alone) but lqq not only became alone, chasing vengeance, & willing to sacrifice himself for revenge—he also became kind, open-minded, & remorseful!! & he still clearly respects xl @ novel end 🙃🙃

We all know hc’s “they’re not very alike at all” and yeah sure baby go support your man but narratively, there’s a lot of importance given to cycles, parallels, and foils in mxtx’s writing and most explicitly (compared to mdzs, haven’t read svss) in tgcf. For example, *gestures at beefleaf, gestures at Xianle Trio vs Wuyogn Crew, gestures at Xie Lian & Jun Wu’s whole uh. Deal.* And while I’d argue xl and lqq are part of a triumvirate rather than a pair, we’re not including mister three-face in this conversation so just looking at xl and lqq:

Both adored and sheltered crown princes

Both taught by a guoshi who was seeking to prevent the repetition of their own tragedies and in their efforts, lied/omitted information and failed to protect their charge from tragedy

Both were betrayed* by their closest friends

Both are the last living members of their respective royal families

Both caught the interest of supernatural beings from a young age

Etc etc I’m getting v bored and distracted writing this so moving on

Most importantly to me, we have their betrayal by a very close and adored mentor and how they react. The confrontation I mention at the start of this shitshow is really imo one of the most important scenes in the novel because it a) illustrates the differences in xl and Jun Wu and b) sort of gives you a preview of how xl ultimately wins

So a) Jun Wu and Xie Lian both take a talented, marked-for ascension young prince under their wing. Jun Wu sees himself in the boy and obsesses over shaping him into Jun Wu’s own image in the belief that this will make him the perfect heir. Jun Wu pushes his chosen heir into situations where Xie Lian is repeatedly harmed in an effort to show that the common people are fickle and cruel and don’t deserve his compassion and care.

Meanwhile, Xie Lian is reluctantly roped into mentoring his prince due to his inability to stand aside when he feels he could do something to prevent hurt or injustice befalling another (simultaneously his great strength and great weakness! God I love him). Xie Lian tries to teach his student to believe in and care for the common people and not to sacrifice himself (see: flashback convo re:taking the force of the sword strike into his own body).

When Xie Lian refuses to bend in the shape Jun Wu demands, Jun Wu bashes his head into the wall. When Lang Qianqiu cries “I will never be like you!”, Xie Lian laughs and says “Good!”.

B) this of course feeds directly into foreshadowing! Like Lang Qianqiu’s bold words, xl ultimately refuses to become like his mentor and remains defiant even when it would stop him from being hurt. Xl beats lqq and says so what if I tricked you, so what if I lied, I still won. Naturally, xl beats Jun Wu not through standard swordplay but by using a trick he learned while forced to busk and wander the earth alone and unlucky for centuries.

…okay so I have fully forgotten what I was actually saying here! Anyway!

Like Xie Lian, Lang Qianqiu spends a time consumed with the need for vengeance, hunting his enemy and rejecting the heavens. And like Xie Lian, he winds up caring for his enemy’s “son” and trying to both comfort him and maintain what’s left of Qi Rong’s life force despite having previously been hellbent on destroying him—bc he sees the impact it has on another person. In the end, he even gives a gift to Xie Lian—his mentor, his role model, and the one who killed his father—that was once given to him as a symbol of unexpected kindness. Sound familiar?

But, importantly, and contradictory to what I have been yelling abt but whatever it’s 12:30 am, Lang Qianqiu is not a direct mirror of Xie Lian but a closing of a vital loop in the story. Lqq is very similar to xl (I will die on this hill!! Only I won’t bc I’m stronger than y’all and will keep swinging these pots and pans) but bc xl tries to do better and keep lqq from suffering the way xl has, lqq is able to have a gentler and more optimistic path forward. He’s proof that even a small act of kindness or even kindness to only one person still matters and has a ripple effect that can’t be seen when you’re in the middle of it—a thread started with xl giving the coral pearl to Lang Ying and closed with Lang Qianqiu returning the pearl to Xie Lian.

So I have no idea if any of this is coherent or compelling but I meant to be asleep two hours ago and the points are:

A) Lang Qianqiu is good actually

B) parallels!!!

C) look ive already started another wip about Lang Qianqiu and Xie Lian and I didn’t want this but no one else wrote it so now I have to so pls just accept this as a warning

*sort of air quotes around this for Xie Lian bc frankly Mu Qing was right & Xie Lian kicked feng xin out BUT on the other hand, it was experienced as a betrayal and we also again have all of Jun Wu’s shit so it evens out

[keeningvoid]

I guess I should have a WIPs post if I'm going to be tagging things

Or an intro or whatever idk, so.

I'm [unpronouncable sounds that equivocate in English to "Keening Void"], I'm a 30 yo crazy person who works at Coffee Shop Chain in the US. I came back to tungle dot hell just as a way to get away from my other social media presences but I slipped into writeblr territory and I'm gonna stay here, y'all are lovely.

Anywho I [think very hard about] writing things. Here are some of the things:

Original Works

Laughing Into the Darkness is an urban fantasy / supernatural romance about a biroace goth not-quite-boy (Adrian) who falls in love with the prince of Hell (Karavox aka Kenney).

Encroaching Lacuna is a (technically furry) space fantasy / light sci-fi superpowers drama about twins, Taliander and Orian, who get kidnapped from their home planet by an imperial war machine.

Urasdia is an epic high fantasy drama that can't figure out if it wants to be a revenge story or a revolution story. Prince Damian of Vemba, his ex Trinh, and his brothers Viktor and Adrien are major characters.

Salvation is a queer cyberpunk story about unexpected allies. Chaz, a nonbinary cyborg sex worker, has saved up enough to get a bigger apartment - with a stranger for a roommate. But Kevin's pretty quiet, and not a bad roommate... He might be a corpo contract killer, though.

Skyward Force is a video game idea I'm tossing around. It's a Shining Force like turn based tactical RPG about time and immortality.

I have a nameless collection of drabbles and concepts surrounding a fursona of mine, Tara; she's a catgirl sex worker & bartender who lives with her werewolf friend Cormac, who she's in love with. Pretty much anything NSFW I write is probably gonna be in Tara's world, and pretty much anything I write in Tara's world is gonna be NSFW.

I also think about drabbling stuff about my tabletop rpg characters: Mitchell, the tiefling warlock; Djarra, the halfling werebear druid; and Torra, the heretic Mechanicus enginseer.

Fanfiction

I don't have a published fanfic presence but I am working on a few things in the Netflix Castlevania, Magnus Archives, and Warhammer 40k fandoms, so I might talk about those from time to time. If I ever actually work on them. You know.

Other Fandoms

These are stuff I'm into but don't necessarily have planned works for.

Books:

Brandon Sanderson's Stormlight Archives (I'm not okay, please write quickly Mister Brandon)

Richard Kadrey's Sandman Slim series

Rodger Zelazny's Chronicles of Amber (fun fact: Urasdia started out as an Amber fanvessel eons ago)

Tolkien's works, of course

Stephen King's Dark Tower books

probably more! I got bad brains

Movies & TV:

Our Flag Means Death

What We Do in the Shadows (both)

Vikings

JJBA

Archer

Cobra Kai

definitely more but again, the bad brains

Other Media Types:

I'm pretty into Magic the Gathering and goth & metal music and sometimes that stuff has story pieces to play with so :) maybe one day.

Probably going to update this later with appropriate tags and anything else that changes. <3

Socializing with my weird ass:

I'm not very good at socializing beyond either pleasantries or infodumping tbh (it's the autismos) but I do like people and I do like what you're working on!

I'm explicitly avoiding Reality here so please don't try to talk to me about politics, current events, etc. - they upset me too much and I have other avenues for dealing with all that. This space, for me, is just about fiction! (I have already broken this for myself but shh we'll just move on.)

Please avoid asking me how I'm doing, if you can. The answer, though impolite, is "bad, but there's nothing much anybody can do about it, so let's not talk about it". I don't want to make anyone feel bad for me, but I also don't want to lie. Better to just avoid the situation altogether.

I'm not great at responding to tag games or the like; on top of the autism, I got them anxiety and overthinkin' problems, ya dig? I also don't have a lot of words actually drafted for any of my WIPs yet [or, don't have a lot that I still have saved, for some] so games like word finds or last lines etc. are really hard haha. I might be better about this in the future.

[wallacejwriting]

I saw recently about your takes on representation of autism in your current WIP. First of all I really want to say that it feels amazing as an autistic writer myself to know there's someone out there providing and actively working on accurate representations of autism in media, its all too common to feel like the butt of a neurotypical writer/director's joke.

But anyway, what I wanted to ask is how obvious and direct do you plan on making the fact of the characters in the book being autistic? Is it a direct statement or just kind of there as a part of the character that needs no explanation? I find the differences in books with this kind of thing fascinating.

Thank you! I love hearing from other autistic writers and knowing that we're all making it better in the book world for ourselves and each other.

This is the part where I explain that I answer asks in a really scattered, rambling way, that is absolutely due to the autism and various other nonsense. I tried to make this as coherent as possible. But I get excited when talking about my blorbos.

So far, in all of my wips with autistic characters, I find a way to address the fact that they are autistic in the text. In my modern stories, or futuristic ones, I use the word "autistic" directly, and in fantasy stuff I explicitly have terms for those umbrella categories of neurodivergence with varying levels of nuance based on the setting.

So there is usually a direct statement of some sort, typically not at all the central part of a scene (except in one case, but that's because the character being autistic is ACTIVELY WHY they are being chosen for their task), but I try to never make it accusatory or bad. A lot of my characters just mention it offhandedly when asked why they're a little different or when they are bringing up their own boundaries.

But I don't bring it up immediately. I wait until it makes sense in the text. Until then, I weave it into the actions of the main characters.

I work a lot to make it consistent in the writing, because I'm so used to taking it out of my default writing that now I have to put it back in, if that makes sense. So I'm working with different sets of traits and symptoms for each character, and I make sure that flows through the narrative just like any other trait or the like.

I guess to be more specific, let's look at Nat, from Descent, who is one of three characters I was referring to in that post - the other two being from two different wips (one being the person in the aforementioned central scene, the other being Katya from Beurkratti).

Nat is autistic. Diagnosed as a young one, at just over a year old (genetic testing all babies get in TMI 'Verse) and had some good supports in life. Strong family system, even if small. They spent their whole life in small towns, two in particular, and so have never had to deal with the more city based parts of being autistic, which are the parts that, imo, really suck.

Nat:

is very easily overwhelmed by noise and smell. They end up wearing discrete ear plugs and wearing specific smells under their nose to block out others to manage the city.

has a tendency to yell and slap things when they're upset

gets emotionally overwhelmed when they're faced with hard decisions or decisions with strong consequences to the point of having meltdowns

deeply dislikes being touched by people they don't have as part of their little circle and snaps at people who do

experiences grief in distinctly different ways than most neurotypical people do, such as full emotional shutdown, focusing on logic, becoming increasingly external task focused rather than internal focused

struggles with recognizing facial expressions, to the point where I legitimately can't "tell" facial expressions and HAVE to write them out as descriptions because Nat doesn't know what any of them mean until they get close to people and get a chance to absorb it.

doesn't have a central special interest or interests, but is extremely driven and focused in everything they take on, and definitely hyperfocuses on the investigation hard

Nat doesn't need a set routine so much as they need to know what is happening at all times. If you say X then do Y, Nat gets upset. The bigger the difference, the more frustrated they get.

Nat's stimming ranges from mildly self-destructive (they bang their head off walls when they're upset a lot, not hard enough to do damage, but very rhythmic and constant) to very small (they grind their teeth a lot, which causes dental problems later on), but most of it is discreet because people in their small towns thought they were weird

Nat is low empathy, but in a way that lets them connect with animals, strangers, and characters, but struggles to let them connect with those closest to them. The vulnerability and personal nature makes it much harder.

Some of the things I'm really looking forward to including with Nat is the explanation as to why their powers manifest differently than others at their level. It's the autism. Nat's different brain chemistry actively change how their powers manifest, making them unique in many ways. They also suffer a lot of unique challenges, due to this.

After Nat's power upgrade, just before the story starts, Nat stops being able to take medication because it stops working. Their body destroys it, seeing it as a threat. They have tinnitus due to the constant sensory stimulation of electronics and electricity in the city. This makes it far easier for Nat to get sensory overload, now, making it harder for them to get around and do things.

Nat's autism also changes how they approach that upgrade. A lot of Metas lose all their control, or find that things that used to be easy as much easier to mess up, in the event of a huge, sudden uptick in power. With Nat, everything they're used to doing is easier than ever, more powerful, and almost subconscious. But it's much easier to hurt others and lash out. It's must easier to go overboard. And doing new things is a lot more difficult and scary.

That's all I can think of for this for now. Thank you very much for sending this ask. It was fun to talk about.

[morwensteelsheen]

For that ask thingy: 🌈, 🌾, and of course, 🎨! Or just one of those, if you'd rather!

Wahey! Thank you so much!!

🌈 Your favorite tropes to write about?

Oh man, it’s got to be, like, friends to lovers and pretty much anything domesticity-based. I know I’ve been writing a lot of heinously angst-riddled stuff lately but 99% of what I want to write, is, like characters fucking around in their own homes and being lazy lol.

🌾 A fic you really want to write but you haven’t (yet)?

I keep floating this and then running away from it because I’m a coward, but I want to write a fic dealing pretty explicitly with the inevitable political split between Faramir & Aragorn. Faramir’s spiel in Window on the West very prominently features this line:

'I would see the White Tree in flower again in the courts of the kings, and the Silver Crown return, and Minas Tirith in peace: Minas Anor again as of old, full of light, high and fair, beautiful as a queen among other queens: not a mistress of many slaves, nay, not even a kind mistress of willing slaves.

Which seems so totally at odds with everything Aragorn is recorded as having done in the Fourth Age it genuinely surprises me it’s not a more common topic in the fandom. I think that rupture would be pretty jarring, and though I can’t imagine that Faramir would ever do anything to destabilise any of Gondor’s politics, no matter how small, it had to have been a really terrifying thing for everybody involved. Plus probably psychologically hellish for Éowyn, given that her brother also was very gung ho on Aragorn’s imperialist wars. One day…one day…

🎨 Show us a sneak peek from a WIP!

Here’s a short bit from the AFTA sequel, tentatively called Days of Cold Pity.

Éowyn caught Faramir’s eye. He took one final glance at the table to confirm his assessment, then nodded at her.

“I am proposing a comprehensive review of the clans currently occupying Dunland and Enedwaith. Those that can evince their non-engagement with Isengard during the war will be allocated superior land to those that cannot. Those that show sufficient contrition will also be considered for preferential land. It is, ultimately, an act of strategic justice. Rather than punishing all of the Hillmen equally when there is every possibility that they were not all equally culpable, we will punish only those who acted in support of our enemies. And, for the immense knowledge acquisition required to undertake such a large-scale act of mercy, we will better understand who dwells at the borders of the Mark and of the Reunited Kingdoms. No longer will we fumble in the dark to contrive a defence of our borders, precision and accuracy will lead the way.” At her return to her starting position, she leaned on the table, the gold of her ring catching brilliantly under the shafts of light that cascaded from the skylights. Insouciant pride sparked in Faramir’s heart. “My lords, are there any objections?”

He lifted his cup to his lips to mask his smile. There would be none, just as they predicted.

Later, the lords and marshals and captains were sent away with little fanfare; Rohan, Faramir was coming to learn, was a kingdom of zealous truth tellers, and they were wedded to a particularly thorny definition of truth. If they could not earnestly speak niceties to one another, they would, as a rule, choose silence instead. Unlike in Gondor, many meetings in Edoras ended briskly and brusquely, with neither bread broken nor wine shared to mark the occasion. In different circumstances, Faramir might have felt put off by it. Such as it was, the rather graceless end to the council enabled him to chase after his wife with nary a judgemental glance cast in his direction. Some things, he thought, were indeed better in Rohan.

[darkpoisonouslove]

I am obsessed with question 3, but I have to admit I haven’t completely kept up with your wips 😅 So please pick whatever scene you like. (Or from a finished fic, I don’t mind either way.)

3. If you had to direct a scene from your fic, what would you choose? Why? What would it look like? What techniques would you use to convey certain emotions? What would the set look like?

I thought of a scene that was my ONLY choice for this and then I forgot which scene it was and then I thought of TWO more scenes and now I am kind of having a dilemma without having a dilemma because if I tell you about one of those scenes and reveal the context, I will be even more anxious about getting ALL of this writing I have planned done but at the same time I really wanna talk about it. So what you get is a brief summary of the scene that shall not be contextualized and then I will actually answer the question for the other scene that I have no issues with revealing.

So the scene I won't actually be talking about is Griffin and Valtor being undercover at a ball on Zenith where Marion and Oritel are also invited. So they kinda have a mini cold war in secret from anyone else while Valtor dances with Marion and Griffin dances with Oritel because I just HAD TO! Okie, that's it. That's what I wanted to get out there. You may continue with your day and the rest of this ask now if you can.

The scene I'm actually talking about is from the very end of my rewrite of SotLK. It's after Bloom saves Domino and nearly dies in the process. Marion and Oritel have just recognized her for the only reason that she used the Dragon Fire and Marion felt it so it clicked for them who she is. Bloom collapses and Marion needs to use her Dragon Fire to heal her additionally on top of something else I am not going to explicitly give away even though it might be pretty obvious. Like, Bloom was literally moments away from dying from how much effort it took to save Domino. She opens her eyes and her first words are for Sky and Stella who rush to her. Stella grabs her and hugs her while Sky is holding her hand and Bloom is muttering about her parents aka Mike and Vanessa with Marion and Oritel standing awkwardly in the background. Flora ends up at the great position of having to fill M&O in on some things but she just peaces out at one point like "Maybe Bloom should be the one telling you this". Meanwhile, Bloom is talking to Mike and Vanessa on the phone before a terrible realization sets in that she'll never be able to go back home to Earth again for reasons that shall not be spoiled.

I chose this scene because a) I've done a more realistic portrayal of Bloom's family situation if I do say so myself, b) Mike and Vanessa deserve to not be pushed away by Marion and Oritel's return like the show did and c) there is a lot of shit going down both emotionally speaking and plot wise. The set is very quiet despite the fact that the whole planet was just brought back to life and people were dropped back on it after it was an arctic desert for 17 years and there are 10+ people present at that very moment. The only ones that are speaking are Bloom and Mike and Vanessa (over the phone) with Sky and Stella occasionally adding something. There's a momentary focus on the Flora and M&O conversation but they are all whispering. Meanwhile, Bloom is talking quietly because she is just that exhausted after the effort to bring back to life a whole planet and there is more emotional bullshit that she has to deal with. Girl needs a break. The set around them is a lot of green with plants still growing in the background but far, far back where it's barely noticeable and there aren't any animals nearby despite the recent resurrection. The focus is mostly on Bloom's face (and her limp body and outfit) and the image of Mike and Vanessa with Stella's body mostly being viewed as support for Bloom while she's holding her. The rest of Winx and the Specialists are lined up just behind them and standing over them like a guard ready to defend Bloom if there are any more nasty surprises. They don't shy away from the personal conversation she's having with her parents after the shitstorm they just survived together but they keep their distance because they can't help her with the emotional load that she still needs to bear and they are all upset over that. There's a subtle observation of Marion and Oritel's reactions while Bloom is speaking to Mike and Vanessa and it pans over their entire body language - the way they are clutching harder at each other and looking away, unable to recognize neither their land, nor their daughter. Bloom doesn't notice any of that, though, because she's too exhausted to process but also because the only thing that matters right now to her is Mike and Vanessa. She nearly gave her life for Domino and now that that mission is over, she just wants the comfort of her bed and her parents and that simple thing is something that she can't have. It's soul-crushing for her. Especially when they get interrupted by an incoming Council aircraft.

And that's all I can pull off the top of my head. You can be the judge of how good an answer it is to the question (and how the scene is working - I would really appreciate hearing thoughts).

Ask me fanfic questions

[gingersnapwolves]

Follow up fic-related post to my Untamed primer, for those who specifically read this whole thing in order to be able to read my fanfiction! Firstly, I’m flattered. Y’all are amazing. Secondly, here’s a handy dandy list of my fics that might help you get started. (There’s tons and tons of great fanfics in this fandom, though, so you should explore if you feel so inclined!)

First of all, um, I feel compelled to write a disclaimer about all my Xiyao fic lmao. Writing the last two sections of this I was like ‘ugh, Jin Guangyao is the worst’ but like ... he wasn’t always? It feels weird to say, but I ship Lan Xichen with Meng Yao but not Lan Xichen and Jin Guangyao. Meng Yao was genuinely treated very poorly all his life and had legitimate reasons to be bitter and resentful, but he didn’t turn into a monster until after his father got a hold of him. I know that not everybody will agree with that! But I just want to say, after writing those last two chunks I wanted to clarify, yes, I write a ton of Xiyao, but it is all based around the idea that although Meng Yao is morally ambiguous and can absolutely be ruthless when necessary, with actual love and support he wouldn’t end up being so terrible, and I love the idea of turning all that conniving cleverness for good instead of evil.

Anyway, moving on!

I’ve written two fanfics that are complete AU, fusions with other media. These might help you get used to reading in the fandom without worrying about all the plot nuances and politics and such.

Like a House on Fire – loose fusion with 9-1-1, characters as first responders, Wangxian and Xiyao

The Weight of the World – fusion with Pacific Rim, Wangxian and Xiyao

Here are the others, by canon divergence point. Worth pointing out, I have actually only written one fic that take place in the latter half of the show (in fact, it’s post canon). Although some of my fics have young Wen Yuan or Jin Ling in them, I don’t generally deal with the 16 year gap because it’s just too damn depressing for me. So sadly, I don’t really write about the juniors. The juniors are great! And I’m sure there are great fics about them! But I’m invested in fix-it fic, which means making sure that 16-year-gap doesn’t happen.

Also probably worth pointing out: the older the fics are, the more likely I was to make factual errors in them. Like in my first fic, I didn’t realize Meng Yao’s mother was dead, because it’s never explicitly mentioned, and in several of my earlier fics I got the pieces of yin iron confused all to hell and back lol. Be kind. XD

Canon diverges prior to or right at the beginning of the timeline:

An Atypical Courtship – Meng Yao becomes a prostitute after his mother dies. Additional bonus AU because Wen Ruohan isn’t evil and there’s no war because I didn’t feel like dealing with it. Mainly Xiyao, background Wangxian.

The Third Young Master of the Qishan Wen – Wei Wuxian is adopted by Wen Qing and Wen Ning’s family, instead of the Jiang sect. This might actually be a good one to start with as it covers almost the entire canon (pre-death canon) but just slightly to the left. Wangxian, Xiyao, Chengqing.

somewhere to belong (WIP!) – Meng Yao stays in Cloud Recesses for the lecture and makes friends. 3zun (the pairing name for Nie Mingjue/Lan Xichen/Meng Yao) and background Wangxian.

Canon diverges prior to the Sunshot Campaign:

hope dangling by a string – Lan Wangji and Wei Wuxian end up psychically connected and it prevents a whole host of misunderstandings. Also covers a lot of canon but slightly to the left. Wangxian and Chengqing.

Canon diverges after the Sunshot Campaign:

No More Masks – Meng Yao isn’t legitimized and goes to live at Cloud Recesses after the war. If you want to know why I’m obsessed with Xiyao, this is the fic to read as it’s the one I wrote to specifically indulge. Mainly Xiyao, some Meng Yao/Xue Yang, background Wangxian.

Aftermath – Jiang Yanli kills Jin Guangshan in self defense when he tries to assault her. Without him around after the Sunshot Campaign, everything goes much better. Mostly focuses on the sibling relationships, but also has Xuanli, Wangxian, and a little light Xiyao and Chengqing.

The Lost Cause – Nie Huaisang and Jin Guangyao team up to murder Jin Guangshan. It’s more fun than it should be. Mainly gen, background Wangxian.

the cycle of regret – Lan Wangji gets stuck in a groundhog day loop of trying to save Wei Wuxian just before his death. Wangxian only.

 Canon diverges after Wei Wuxian’s death:

picking up the pieces (WIP!) – Jiang Cheng is killed at the massacre of Nightless City instead of Jiang Yanli. She then convinces Lan Wangji to come live with her at Lotus Pier and raise their kids together. Actually fairly gen, Wangxian later.

The Way it Wasn’t – Jiang Cheng wishes that Wei Wuxian had never existed, only to find out that without him, they lost the war. Wangxian, Xiyao, Chengqing hints.

where do we begin (the rubble or our sins) – Wei Wuxian survives falling off the cliff, resurrects Jiang Yanli, and ends up with amnesia. Wangxian only.

Post canon:

the hardest part of ending (is starting again) – Wen Ning and Lan Xichen comfort each other after going through hell. Mainly gen, hints at future Ningchen, background Wangxian.

again, if you have any questions, either while reading the summaries or while reading any of my fics, feel free to ask me! <3