#a kid gets his head exploded in the first episode. its FINE HES OK. BUT IT DOES HAPPEN. | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

flclarchives · 4 years ago

Text

Amusing Himself to Death, an Akadot.com interview with Kazuya Tsurumaki (director of FLCL and assistant director of Evangelion) from around December 2001. In the article, Tsurumaki explains a few things about Evangelion, his mentality behind FLCL as a whole, and the meaning of the name ‘FLCL’.

Full article text is under the cut, or read the article in its original form [here].

Kazuya Tsurumaki was a relatively little-known animator when Hideki Anno selected him to work as the assistant director on Neon Genesis Evangelion. For the TV series, which became a smash hit in Japan and one of the touchstones of the current surge of interest in anime in the US, Tsuramaki served as the main storyboard artist as well as assistant director, and when Studio Gainax began production on a trio of Evangelion films Tsurumaki got his first directorial assignment.

As he tells the story, Anno came to him after Eva and announced that he was out of ideas and that it was up to Tsurumaki to dream up the next project because, "you are next." Tsurumaki let his imagination run wild, but by the time he had written a script, Anno - despite his declaration that he had no stories left to tell - was already several steps ahead of Tsurumaki and in pre-production for his next series, Kareshi Kanojo no Jijo, leaving Tsurumaki a chance to have complete and unsupervised creative control of his own series FLCL.

FLCL, referred to as "Fooly Cooly" (or "Furikuri" by its American fans), is unlike any anime series to come before it. Wild, maniacally fast-paced physical comedy; exaggerated, exuberant animation alternately pushing towards surrealist- as when mecha exuviate from a bump on young Naota's head - and deconstructionist - as when the animation literally stops and the story is told by a camera bouncing across a page of black and white manga art panels; and obsessively, often irrelevantly, referential to obscure Tokyo-pop bands and anime insider trivia; FLCL was hyperkinetic and disorienting, yet mesmerizing, almost transgressive, and undeniably original. It inspired enthusiastic admiration for Tsurumaki as a creator, even amongst the perhaps 90% of the series' fans who were absolutely baffled by much of it. One is tempted to refer to it as announcing the arrival of full blown post-modernism in animation, or perhaps as the Exploding Plastic Inevitable of the anime industry.

When Tsurumaki visited Baltimore to speak to American fans at the recent Otokon Convention, predictably, many of the questions were along the lines of, "Hi, I really loved FLCL [or Evangelion], but could you please explain this part of it to me?"

Tsurumaki answered all questions genially with a self-deprecating and often mischievous sense of humor. For example:

Why does Haruko hit Naota over the head with her guitar?

Kazuya Tsurumaki: Naota is trying to be a normal adult and she belts him to make him rethink his decision.

Why does Evangelion end violently, and somewhat unhappily?

KT: People are accustomed to sweet, contrived, happy endings. We wanted to broaden the genre, and show people an ugly, unhappy ending.

Why is the character of Shinji portrayed as he is?

KT: Shinji was modeled on director Hideki Anno. Shinji was summoned by his father to ride a robot, Anno was summoned by Gainax to direct an animation. Working on Nadia [Nadia: Secret of the Blue Water, one of Anno and Tsurumaki's earlier projects] he wondered if he still wanted to work like this. He thought that working on Eva could help him to change.

Is there any particular reason why so many Gainax series feature very anxious, unhappy young male protagonists with no parents?

KT: Yes, the directors at Gainax are all basically weak, insecure, bitter, young men. So are many anime fans. Many Japanese families, including my own, have workaholic fathers whose kids never get to see them. That may influence the shows I create.

Could you explain the mecha bursting from Naota's head in FLCL?

KT: I use a giant robot being created from the brain to represent FLCL coming from my brain. The robot ravages the town around him, and the more intensely I worked on FLCL the more I destroyed the peaceful atmosphere of Gainax.

Why doesn't FLCL follow one story?

KT: In the third episode Ninamori was almost a main character, a kid who, like Naota, has to act like an adult. After episode three her problem was solved so we wrote her out. She has many fans in Japan and we got plenty of letters about that decision. For FLCL I wanted to portray the entire history of Gainax, and each episode has symbols of what happened behind the scenes on each of Gainax's shows. Episode one has many elements of Karekano; episode two, a lot of Evangelion references, etc.

Where does the title FLCL come from?

KT: I got the idea from a CD in a music magazine with the title Fooly-Cooly. I like the idea of titles that are shortened long English words. Pokémon for "Pocket-Monsters" for instance, and an old J-pop band called Brilliant Green that was known as "Brilly-Grilly."

Is there any reason why the extra scenes added to Eva for the video release were cut in the first place? Did you think the story would mean something different with them intact?

KT: The scenes that were added to Eva for its video release aren't that important. We added them as an apology for taking so long to get the video out. Maybe they'll help people understand things, because the episodes were done under tough deadlines the first time around.

Can you explain the symbolism of the cross in Evangelion?

KT: There are a lot of giant robot shows in Japan, and we did want our story to have a religious theme to help distinguish us. Because Christianity is an uncommon religion in Japan we thought it would be mysterious. None of the staff who worked on Eva are Christians. There is no actual Christian meaning to the show, we just thought the visual symbols of Christianity look cool. If we had known the show would get distributed in the US and Europe we might have rethought that choice.

After the panel, Mr. Tsurumaki sat down to speak with Akadot.

Do you enjoy confusing people?

KT: I have a twisted sense of humor. I'm an Omanu Jacku, a contrarian. [Writer's note- Omanu Jacku is a folk character a bit like Puck, a mischief maker]

What do you see differently now that you're working as a director rather than only as a visual artist?

KT: As an animator I have only the art; as a director story is really big. I still feel as an animator and I often have trouble putting the needs of the story first.

Did you intend from the start for FLCL to be as bizarre as it wound up?

KT: From the very start I wanted a different flavor. To achieve this I had to re-train the animators to be as stylized as I wanted them to be because I wasn't drawing it. I knew that not everyone would get it. I deliberately selected very obscure J-pop culture and anime sub-culture jokes and references. Because Eva was so somber I always intended to make FLCL outrageous and wacky.

Why the choice to break out of conventional animation and use manga pages? Was it at all a response to how many anime are using computers to achieve smoother and more realistic visuals? Were you trying to go the opposite direction?

KT: I like manga, not only to read, but the visuals. The pen drawings, the frame breakdowns and layouts . . . This is the first time I have used digital animation, and those bouncing manga shots wouldn't have been possible with cel animation. Personally I'm not interested at all in using computers for realistic animation. I'm impressed by it sometimes, but I'm interested in using computers to do what was once impossible, not to do smoother versions of what has already been done. I want to be less realistic.

Has using digital animation techniques changed the way you work, or the way you feel about your work when you see it? Does it still feel like it's yours if a computer did much of it?

KT: Before I got into digital animation I saw other shows that were using it and I felt that there was no feeling, it was empty. As an animator, there's a sense of release when you draw a cel. There's something there. Working on FLCL, though, I learned that computers can do more, and, most of all, that they allow room for trial and error and revising, more freedom to experiment. That is why I now feel that cel art cannot win against computers. For actual animation everything is still drawn on paper. That work hasn't changed. It's the other stuff, the touchups, and coloring. If we didn't use paper, maybe the feeling would change.

Earlier today you said that you were trying to broaden the genre by giving Eva a sad ending. Does the sameness of much of today's anime bore you?

KT: First of all we didn't use a sad ending to annoy fans. When they're upset, that really bothers us. Personally, I think a happy ending is fine, but not if it is achieved too easily. That's no good.

For all the fans that are confused at all, if you had to define in one sentence what FLCL is about, what would you say?

KT: FLCL is the story of boy meets girl. For me it is also about how it's ok to feel stupid. With Evangelion there was this feeling that you had better be smart to understand it, or even just to work on it. With FLCL I want to say that it's okay to feel stupid.

Even though it may be strange to us, do you have in your head a logic behind it? Are you trying to portray a story that follows the logic of dreams, or is it supposed to make sense symbolically?

KT: I'd like you to think of FLCL as imagination being made physical and tangible, just as it is for me when I take whatever is in my head and draw it.

So what are you working on next?

KT: Right now Gainax has told me that they'll support anything I choose to create, but I'm having trouble coming up with any ideas.

Why is that?

KT: Releasing titles for market, I know I have to make something to please fans, but I'm not a mature enough person to accept that fact. If I'm not amusing myself I can't do it. I feel bad that fans have to put up with such behavior from me. I apologize.

#FLCL #Evangelion #archive.org #Kazuya Tsurumaki #also i can upload the text as a PDF if anyone would like it!#things like these articles make me realize the people who say FLCL is too confusing aren't artists. because as an artist this is cathartic-#-to read. i'd kill to be able to make something as high-strung stylized and full of weird references as FLCL.#and with GAINAX too? holy shit #interview #article

23 notes · View notes

wiypt-writes · 4 years ago

Text

Riding On

Ch5. Chilli Fries And Appletize

Summary: Fliss hormones are raging so Frank decides she need something a little special

Warnings: Bad Language words. SMUT (NSFW NO UNDER 18s!!)

Pairing: Frank Adler x Fliss Gallagher

A/N: FLUFF FLUFF FLUFF ALERT!!

Disclaimer: This is a pure work of fiction and classified as 18+. Please respect this and do not read if you are underage. I do not own any characters in this series bar Fliss Gallagher and the other OCs. By reading beyond this point you understand and accept the terms of this disclaimer.

Riding On Masterlist // Main Masterlist

Chapter 4

Who can take you higher, than twin deep mountain blue, oh well I’ve built this thing for you, and I love you true…

“Fuck!”

Frank heard Fliss’ shout from the living room where he was sprawled on the sofa. She’d gone to take a bath, Mary was at Roberta’s so the pair of them were simply taking a bit of time to relax after what had been a fairly draining week, both physically and mentally.

“Fliss?” he called back as Thor stood up from where he had been curled on the rug, Fred leaning against him using him as a pillow as the feline always seemed to do. He watched the dog pad to the door and then stood up following him down the hallway. He entered the bedroom and found Fliss was stood in a pale blue dress, tears in her eyes.

“Honey, what’s wrong?” He frowned.

“This fucking dress!” She practically exploded, her voice cracking. I only bought it a few weeks ago for Jake’s wedding and I just thought I’d try it on with my new shoes and it won’t do up at the back.”

Frank looked at her, feeling a pang of sympathy for his girl. She’d been really up and down in particular over the last two days with her hormones and she looked absolutely distraught, even if it was something so ridiculous as a dress that had set her off.

“Let me see.” he said, crossing the floor towards her. She turned and he gently reached for the zip, pulling the back of the dress together but it wasn’t going to fasten.

“See…” she sighed as he let go of the zip and rubbed the top of her arms. “I’m not even at the five month mark yet!” “You’re a week off.”

“And I feel huge! This is ridiculous!”

Frank slid his arms around her from behind, dropping a kiss to her shoulder. “Lissy, Bean has just sprouted all of a sudden that’s all. You got a proper bump now.” “I am aware of that, Frank.” She snapped.

Frank took a deep breath, not rising to her in the slightest. Instead his hands moved to either side of the offending swell in her abdomen and he turned her gently towards the full length mirror in the corner of the room.

“Look.” He said, fixing his eyes on hers in their reflection as his hand skated over her belly “You’re beautiful, and you’re cooking our baby in here…”

“That still doesn’t help that I have no dress!”

“Ok, well, let’s go shopping tomorrow. Mary’s at that party in the afternoon so we’ll drop her off, head into town and grab you something.”

Fliss paused as she looked at him in the mirror, her face slowly rearranging as she realised that actually the solution to the problem had been fairly simple all along.

“Sorry.” She mumbled. “I flipped again didn’t I?”

“Its fine.” Frank dropped a kiss to her cheek. “You didn’t throw a mug on the floor today so that’s an improvement.” “In my defence,” she turned to look at him, “you did ask me about five times if I was feeling ok in the space of ten minutes” “And clearly you weren’t as said mug is now in three pieces.” He shook his head and let out a long, dramatic sigh “You know I loved that mug too. It was a sad day.” Fliss snorted “You got it free from the Tack Store when we took Mary for her new hat.” “And it was a treasured memory. A reminder of how she stung me for another hundred bucks…” “Can’t put a price on safety Frankie.” She smiled and he chuckled.

“So, tomorrow afternoon then?” He asked and she nodded eagerly.

“Can we go to Tampa? The shopping is better there.”

“Sure.” And suddenly the bones of a plan began to form in his head. And it was a good plan…if he could pull it off… “Crisis averted?” he asked, looking down at her.

“Crisis averted” she nodded.

“Good.” he smiled, kissing her cheek before he turned to leave the room to allow her to change for bed.

“Frank?”

“Yeah?” He stopped to look at her.

“I really want fries.”

“McDonalds again?”

“No, I want Chilli Fries.” She said, her voice almost puzzled.

“Chilli fries?” He frowned “Really? That’s a new one.”

“I know.” She shrugged. “I just got a hankering, specifically for the ones we get from Tequila Mockingbird.”

Frank glanced at his watch “Sweetheart, it’s almost Eleven. The truck will have shut now, he only opens late on Saturday.”

“Oh, okay.” She said quietly, and he could see to his horror that her bottom lip was starting to wobble. Fuck, not another meltdown. Was this seriously how it was going to be for the next four damned months? Fucking hormones…

“Why don’t I nip to the store?” A sudden idea popped into Frank’s head. “I can whip up a batch of the dirty ones you showed me how to make?”

“Yeah, yeah that could work.” She nodded.

“Ok, well, I’ll be back as soon as I can.” He smiled, turning on his heels.

It worked out quite well actually, as he used the short drive to the store to put his plan into action. First off he messaged Jake who called him straight back.

“What’s up?” he asked.

“I need you to do me a favour.” Frank said, explaining his plan.

“Short notice pal.”

“Yeah but you owe me so pull some strings with the man you know.”

“I owe you?” Jake snorted “What for?”

“If you hadn’t been tagged on those damned photos no one would have seen them and I wouldn’t have been couched for a night nor would I be suffering with blue balls.” Frank said simply, turning right across a junction.

Jake snorted “Leave it with me Frankie boy…I’ll see what I can do.”

Satisfied he cut the call and once he arrived at the store he shot Verity a quick message asking her if she would mind helping him out as well. He felt a little guilty, as they’d only gotten back from Italy that morning but she replied almost instantly telling him that she thought it was a great idea and her and Bill would be happy to do what he needed them to do.

Smiling he put his phone back in his pocket, and headed to the frozen food aisle at the back of the 24 hour mini-mart. He stood there, unable to decide what fries to buy so in the end he grabbed a bag of every available frozen ones there were- thick cut, curly, southern fried and thin, along with a tin of ready-made chilli (yes, disgusting but on dirty fries it was the only thing Fliss told him worked) and a block of cheddar cheese. As he walked towards the till he stopped, grinning as he spotted they had the big bottles of Appletize too, so he shoved 4 in his basket and headed to the counter.

The woman at the counter looked at him as he began unloading and Frank realised that it was a pretty odd combination.

“You either got the munchies or your girl is pregnant.” She quipped and Frank laughed.

“It’s the latter.” He smiled, and the woman grinned at him as she scanned the items through the till.

Once he had paid he headed home to find Fliss was led on the sofa with a toasting waffle in one hand and a glass of apple juice in her other.

“Couldn’t wait huh?” He asked as he walked through to the kitchen.

“I know.” She looked at him over the back of the couch. “I had an apple and a waffle and I feel okay now.”

Frank stopped dead and turned to face her, the paper grocery bags clutched to his chest. “Seriously? You don’t want the fries?”

She wrinkled her nose. “Not anymore.”

Frank took a deep breath, his tongue poking the inside of his cheek in frustration as he walked into the kitchen, depositing the bags on the side.

“The kid ain’t even born yet and it’s already a pain in my ass…”

“I can hear you grumbling from here.” Fliss called back.

“Good.” He retorted as he shoved the bottles of drink in the fridge and crammed the four bags of frozen fries into the freezer. Grabbing a beer he walked back into living room and dropped heavily onto couch next to her.

“Don’t be so grouchy.” She teased, listing her feet into his lap. He shot her a glare and she dropped her hand to her belly. “Bean is sorry.” She flashed him her best puppy dog eyes, those fucking eyes that could get him to do whatever she wanted.

“Don’t pull that one.” He narrowed his own eyes at her and she cocked her head to one side.

“I’ll make it up to you.”

“How?” He asked as she looked at him, smirking.

“Bow job?”

Frank snorted, shifting slightly in his seat as that had really got his attention. But, not wanting to give himself away too much he simply arched an eyebrow at her. “You think you can win me over like that?”

“Sailor, I know I can.”

“I’m not that cheap.”

“No, but I know for a fact you haven’t had any since the night before you went to Vegas.” she grinned “What was it you said in New York after a mere three days? Frankie has needs.”

Okay, so she’d got him well and truly. Like he had said to Jake before, he really was feeling frustrated, but he hadn’t pushed anything on her at all since he’d come back from Vegas, deciding to let her make the decision as to when she wanted to get physically intimate with him again. As he looked at her she simply smiled and drained her glass of juice before setting it on the table.

“What?”

“Nothing.” Frank shook his head. “Was just trying to figure out if you were being serious or not.” She held his gaze for a moment before she looked back at the TV, teasing over. With a deep breath Frank shifted a little, getting himself comfortable, trying to push the dirty thoughts from his mind as he concentrated on the episode of ‘911’ which was playing. His hands gently began to massage at her feet, thumb gently pressing into the arch of one and Fliss gave a soft sigh of satisfaction as he continued, before she sat up and looked at him.

“Did you get any curly fries?” She bit her lip.

“Are you for fucking real?” He looked at her, blinking.

“Don’t blame me…”

“Yeah, yeah blame Bean.” He shook his head “I swear to God by the time you’ve actually given birth to the little crotch goblin I’ll have aged about twenty years…”

“Crotch goblin?” She scoffed, “I’ll remind you, pal, you put it there!”

“Not on purpose!” He looked at her.

“Are you calling our baby a mistake?” Fliss narrowed her eyes at him, mock horror on her face

“Mistake, no, that’s a little harsh.” Frank shook his head “Accident, most definitely.”

“Bastard.” Fliss grabbed a cushion from behind her and hit him with it as he laughed, grabbing it out of her hands.

“Our little Boston Bean is a very pleasant and welcome surprise.” Frank smiled, shifting her legs out of his lap. Grinning he leaned over her, caging her on the sofa with his arms “Although right now, as I’m about to start cooking dirty fries at fifteem to midnight, I’m debating the use of the pronoun pleasant.”

Fliss chuckled as he leaned over to give her a soft kiss. Instantly she felt a little flutter again and her hand dropped to her bump.

“Bean’s moving again.”

Frank smiled and shifted a little so he could press his hand to her side, but after a moment or so shook his head, feeling ever so slightly deflated.

“I can’t feel anything.”

“You will do soon enough.”

“Can’t wait.” Frank kissed her again and stood up, heading to the kitchen.

Fliss watched him go, before she turned back to the TV, but she wasn’t paying attention, she was too busy thinking to herself how quickly Frank had headed out to get her what she wanted before, even if she had then changed her mind, and then reverted it back to its original state. She hated comparing the two of them, and tried not to do it, but as she sat there she couldn’t help it. Frank was as far from John as could possibly be. Her ex-husband wouldn’t have ever done anything like that for her, whether she as carrying his kid or not. But Frank hadn’t even hesitated. And now he was actually about to cook it too. She wasn’t sure John had even known how to turn the damned oven on. When she’d met Frank, his cooking skills were also limited but he had wanted to learn. He helped her cook, listened and managed pretty much once she’d made something with him, to make a fairly decent version of it on his own. And he did this simply because he wanted to. He had openly admitted that he didn’t like the fact she felt like she had to cook every day, despite her protests she didn’t mind, and specifically on the evenings she got home a little later than normal, he wanted to be able to have something ready.

As she sat there, those thoughts whirring in her head, she felt a surge of affection for her Sailor. Since their talk on Monday, she’d let Frank back into their bed but there’d been no intimacy, although she’d let him cuddle her, she’d kissed him back, she hadn’t been unaffectionate per se, but in all honesty she hadn’t been in the mood for anything else, which was probably something down to hormones as well as her still being a little angry at him, but now…well, she’d seen it in his eyes before when she’d been teasing him, he was frustrated as hell. And if she was honest, she now found herself in the mood for giving him a little spontaneous pleasure…

With a smirk she stood up and walked into the kitchen, her arms snaking around his waist as she pressed herself to his back (well as much as she could thanks to the football she had in her stomach) and pressed a soft kiss to his back, just beneath his shoulder blades.

“You okay?” He asked, his voice vibrating through his back into her chest and she nodded as her hands rubbed at his stomach under his T-shirt. She felt him tense a little, and grinning to herself, she gently moved her hands upwards to rake down the line of hair that led from his chest all the way down his belly. She knew what that did to him and right on cue, Frank gave a grunt, jolting a little and her hand continued to move downwards, palming at his crotch through his sweats.

“Lissy.” His voice caught in his throat as she continued, her hand working him up over his clothing. “What I said before, you don’t need to-“ “I know, but I want to.” She stood on her tiptoes to whisper into his ear. He tilted his head downwards slightly, allowing her to nip at his jawline and as he spun round to face her, she pulled his head down to hers giving him a slow kiss, her tongue sliding against his before she leaned back, his bottom lip between her teeth.

By the time his brain had caught up with what was going on, Fliss had gotten to her knees and flipped the waist band of the sweats he was wearing down, taking his erection firmly in one hand, making him hiss slightly. She stroked him to full hardness, which didn’t take that long at all, before she looked up and locked eyes with him, giving him one final smirk before she took him in her mouth.

“God, Baby.” Frank groaned, his left hand gripped the edge of the kitchen counter, her eyes still locked on his. His right hand gently dropped to the back of her head, tangling in her long hair as her head bobbed back and forth. It was bliss, her mouth was warm, lips soft, but her tongue…God she knew just how to work him with that thing and as he felt it wrap around the base of his cock he gave a grunt, his hips bucking forward slightly. At that, Fliss pulled off of him to suck at the swollen tip of his dick and worked her hands over the rest of his length which sent shivers up his spine. Groaning, his head dropped back slightly, as she continued to lick, suck before she took him in, this time all the way, her cheeks hollowing and one of her hands reaching round from the back of his thigh to gently squeeze at his balls.

“Fucking hell!.” He hissed, his hand tightening in her hair and once more he looked at her. Her eyes locked back onto his and he felt that tell-tale warmth pooling in his groin and stomach.

"Lissy, sweetheart, shit." His voice was raspy from desire and pleasure and at the mere sound of how turned on his was Fliss felt the wetness beginning to pool in between her legs. He continued to babble curse words and her name, before he gasped again, letting out a loud moan. “Fuck, honey, "I'm gonna-" his words caught in his mouth as Fliss took him all the way to the back of her throat. At that, he was gone, his fingers gripped her hair tight the other clutched at the kitchen side, noises that sounded alien even to him tumbling from his mouth as he spilled himself down her throat and slumped back completely blissed out against the kitchen side.

Fliss grinned, her hands gently running up the outside of his thighs as she stood up, pulling his boxers and sweats with her, pressing herself to his chest. With a soft hum of contentment, he opened his eyes and looked down at her.

“Good?” She asked, but the look in her eyes told him she knew exactly what the answer was. Still, he gave it her anyway. “Damned right it was.” He grinned, leaning down and kissing her, his hands holding her face in position. She let out a soft moan into his mouth and he pulled back slightly, arching an eyebrow.

“You all worked up baby girl?”

“Don’t suppose you fancy helping me out…” She whispered, and Frank grinned.

“We got fifteen minutes till the fries cook so…” He smirked as he gently spun her round so her back was clutched to his chest. Fliss grinned to herself as his lips gently brushed on her neck, his beard scratching at her skin as he nipped his way down to her shoulder, his hand splaying over her bump before it worked beneath the waistband of her pyjama shorts. Her breath caught in her throat as his fingers skated her entrance.

“You are worked up.” he muttered, his fingers sliding through her slick, as her head fell back against his shoulder and she bit her lip.

“I told you…” she muttered as his fingers slipped further into her folds, finding that little bundle of nerves. His other hand slipped up her vest top and ran up her side to her breasts, which he knew would be tender, but the plus side to that was that they were goddamned sensitive, so heightened to his touch and it got her off like nothing he’d ever seen before. True to form, she let out a soft squeak as he rolled a nipple gently between his thumb and forefinger. Sliding his fingers inside her he curled them against the fleshy spot on her walls, both his hands working in synch, a coordinated attack on her senses and within minutes she was putty in his hands.

“Frankie…I’m…fuck!” she cursed, her head falling back further as her knees began to shake.

“I got you.” He said softly, his mouth caressing her neck again “Go on baby, give it to me.” With a desperate groan she shuddered, her hand wrapping around his wrists as he felt her pulsing and squeezing around his fingers as she came, the trembles wracking her entire body. Frank held her steady until she took a deep breath, giving a soft sigh as she leaning back into him. She tilted her head round to look at him, a smile on her face, her cheeks tinged with pink underneath those gorgeous freckles and he smiled at her, giving her a soft kiss. Setting her clothes right for her, his hands skated over her bump once more and he kissed her shoulder.

“You okay?” he asked.

“Yep.” she nodded, popping the P as she turned to face him, leaning up to kiss the underneath of his jaw. He looked down at her, before a wicked smirk crossed his face and he popped his two fingers in his mouth, sucking her taste off him.

“Francis!” She scoffed, slapping him round the back of the head and he let out a loud laugh.

“You don’t complain about me tasting you when I’m down there…” “You’re so vulgar!” she snorted.

“Says the woman who just blew me in the kitchen.” She cocked her head to one side, shrugging slightly “Touché….”

He smiled again before she turned to the fridge “Want another beer?”

“Sure, thanks.” he said.

She pulled open the fridge door and let out a little shriek of delight “Where did you get that?” she asked, her eyes widening as she pulled out a bottle of Appletize. “I couldn’t find any in the supermarket!”

“The Mini-Mart before.” he said, “Woman thought I was high when I bought 4 bags of fries and 4 big bottles of that”

“My hero!” she grinned

Frank grinned “if fetching you fries and Appetize means you get on your knees for me then hell, I’ll go every fucking night.”

“Don’t get used to it Sailor.” she looked at him, “Soon I'll be too big to kneel down.”

Frank chuckled, “Why don’t you go wait in the lounge?”

"I'm good.” Fliss shrugged “I'll help."

The two of them stood in the kitchen making their food. Frank warmed the chili through as Fliss grated the entire block of cheese and when Frank challenged her as to why exactly they needed that for 2 of them she simply replied “3 of us Frankie…” whilst patting her bump. Soon they were sat on the sofa, Fliss cross legged with a plate on her lap as she devoured her snack. Frank watched her as she eagerly ate, eyes fixed on the latest episode of Rick And Morty, every so often she would chuckle at something on the screen. Frank smiled to himself, it had felt like a long 5 days since Monday, but they seemed to be on an even keel. She was joking and laughing with him, had been reasonably affectionate and to be fair her affections certainly had upped a notch when she just sucked him off in the kitchen. Granted, all things considered, he’d rather have carried her to bed, taken his time over her, loved on her a little but…well, he certainly wasn’t complaining. It seemed like she’d finally decided he was completely out of the dog house, which suited him absolutely fine.

Fliss let out a happy sigh and placed her now empty plate on the coffee table on top of the one Frank had discarded a few minutes ago. She stretched out her limbs before she shifted and snuggled into Frank’s side.

"Love you." She said, her hand rubbing his tummy softly under his t-shirt. "So does Bean"

Her touch and words made him feel all warm inside. Not horny warm, just fuzzy warm. Smiling he dropped a kiss to her head “Love you too, both of you.”

****** “What do you think?” Fliss asked, giving him a twirl. Frank smiled, nodding approvingly. With the help of the assistant in the little independent Mother and Baby boutique shop they’d stumbled across, aptly called “Bump In The Road” she’d chosen a maxi dress with a pastel rainbow tulle style skirt. The top half was baby pink with spaghetti straps which hung on her toned shoulders and It had a V-neckline which plunged to the high waistband where it cinched in and then flared over her bump. It hung loosely and comfortably over her lower body whilst still being sexy enough on the top half, accentuating her cleavage.

“You look beautiful.” He said honestly and she flushed a little, twirling in the mirror.

“Do you think the colour is ok or should I go for the yellow one? I mean is it too much boob? The yellow is a halter neck so you don’t see any-” “Lissy!” He shook his head, chuckling “It looks fine, more than fine. I like it.” “It’s also elasticated at the back.” The assistant spoke. “So your worry about bump growing more over the next week won’t cause an issue. You’ll get a few months I expect out of this.” Fliss hummed, looked at her reflection again before she smiled “OK, yeah, great…I’ll take it.”

The assistant smiled and Fliss turned back to head into the changing cubicle. Once she was out of ear shot Frank looked at the woman.

“Can we take the yellow one too?” he asked, “Just ring it through before she comes back, I want it to be a surprise.”

The assistant nodded and smiled “Sure, I’ll get it ready and bagged now so she doesn’t see it.”

“Thanks.”

He headed to the till, producing his card and shortly after Fliss joined him and he let out a chuckle when he saw she’d also picked up another little baby-grow on the way. This one was white and bore an apple on the front, with the words “apple of our eye” arched over the top.

“I thought it was kinda fitting.” she grinned and Frank had to agree considering her craving. He handed it to the assistant who was smart enough not to announce the total to him, given the additional purchase as he handed his card over. Fliss pouted at him but one look and she stopped the fuss she was about to make over the fact he had paid. They’d already had that discussion on the way over, Frank insisting that he wanted to buy her the dress considering it was “his fault” as she had put it that she was in this position in the first place.

He took the bag from the assistant and thanking her once more they headed out and back down the street. Frank stole a glance at his watch, it was just after 3. He could do with killing another hour or so before he put into play his surprise plan so he suggested they grab a drink and an ice cream at the little parlour on the corner. Fliss eagerly agreed so that killed another 40 minutes as they sat and joked over a sundae each, before they headed back to the truck taking the long way round, checking out a few other shops as they went, Fliss suggesting the grabbed Mary a few new pieces of clothing as she was growing again. Picking a few t-shirts and a pair of shorts they knew she would like they then headed back to the car and Frank checked his phone, memorising the directions. They weren’t far away.

When he didn’t take the turn for the freeway, Fliss looked at him. “You missed the turn off.” “No I didn’t.”

“Yeah, you did, it was back there.”

“We’re not going home.” Frank replied simply and at that she frowned.

“Where are we going then?”

“You’ll see.”

Refusing to give her anything else, despite her questioning, he kept driving until he hit the coastal road and continued along the bay and their destination appeared in front of them. Hanging a right, he drove his truck down the little winding road which opened up into a circle drive way flanked by palm trees and bright flowerbeds just outside the reception of the Grand Hyatt.

“Frank.” Fliss looked at him, her eyes shining. “We’re staying for the night?”

“Yup.” He nodded turning to face her. “I packed us a bag this morning whilst you were at the yard, Mary’s staying with your parents as is Thor and I suspect Fred and we have a dinner reservation for dinner at the Oyster Catcher, which is on the bay at the back.”

“I don’t…how did you manage to pull this off at such short notice?”

“Jake.” Frank said simply “Come on.”

He hopped out of his truck and smiled to the bus boy who had approached him and nodded for them to collect their bags out of the boot. “Including the large paper one.” he said discreetly and he nodded before he turned to collect the slip of paper from the valet. He took Fliss’ hand and led her into the huge reception area to the hotel, the floor a gorgeous white marble as they walked over to the desk and he smiled at the woman who looked at him.

“Good afternoon Sir, Ma’am.” she smiled, and Fliss suddenly felt a little self-conscious. Everyone was milling around in various states of what she would term upper-class smart casual, in blazers and open necked dress shirts with jeans that probably cost more than her fucking jeep. Frank, however, in contrast didn’t give a shit. He wasn’t here to impress or blend in.

“Reservation for Adler.” he said smiling at the receptionist who tapped at a keyboard and nodded.

“Yes Mr Adler, you’re here for one night and have an executive double.” she scanned the booking “The room rate is already settled, but I can set up-…” “I’m sorry, did you say the room rate was covered?” Frank frowned. “Yes, Sir.” She nodded, “It’s already been paid.” “Take it that wasn’t expected.” Fliss looked at him and he shook his head, smiling.

“No, no it wasn’t. I’ll thank Jake later.” He smiled, before he turned to the lady at the desk “Sorry, I didn’t mean to interrupt.”

“No problem. I was just saying if you want to give me your card I can set up a tab so you can charge items to your room…” “Sure.” He nodded, fishing for his wallet before handing her the small square of plastic. As she took a scan of it he turned to Fliss and dropped a kiss to her temple as she smiled, her arm looping around her waist.

“Is this where we’re staying for Jake’s wedding?” She asked and he nodded.

“Thought we could give it a test run beforehand.” He looked at her “You are okay we’re staying, right?” “Of course.” She smiled “It’s really sweet of you.” “Well, I try.” He winked before he turned back to the brunette behind the desk who asked him for his signature in a few places before she handed him the key.

“Ok so you’re on the 5th floor.” she said nodding, “Room 512. Take the elevator up, go right once you reach your floor and you’ll see it on the left. I’ll have your bags brought up for you Mr Adler.”

Frank thanked her and they both headed off following the directions. Frank led Fliss out of the elevator an down to the room over to it and picked up the note attached to it.

“This one’s on me pal, well, my Loyalty Scheme Free Stay points anyway. Sorry about the balls.” She read as she turned to him and Frank rubbed at his neck. “I’m not even gonna ask what that means.” “Yeah, probably best.” He grinned, and then there was a knock at the door. Frank opened it and in walked the concierge with their luggage, setting it down for them before Frank thanked him, slipped him a ten and he headed out.

Fliss looked at the overnight bag and then frowned. “What did you bring me to wear to dinner?” “Nothing” Frank said, before he grinned and picked up the bag from the boutique. “But I got you something before.” “That’s for the wedding.” She looked at him, “Although I could wear it twice. Not like anyone is here tonight to see it.” “Check in the bottom.” He instructed. She frowned a little, before she took the bag and set it down on the small table, before she let out a gasp as she pulled out the lemon yellow dress she’d tried on before.

“You bought me both of them?”

He nodded.

“Frankie, you didn’t have to do that. You didn’t have to do any of this.” She whispered, her eyes misting over.

“I know but I wanted to.” He stepped forwards his hands dropping to her hips. “I figured it would be nice for us to have some time together, just the two…well…three,” he grinned, nodding to her bump, “of us.” “Thank you.” She looked up at him as he dropped a kiss to her lips.

Once they’d unpacked their overnight thing, Fliss headed for a shower and emerged a little while later in a robe and Frank walked back in from where he’d been on the balcony with a beer, having fired a thank you message to Jake. He smiled at Fliss and headed to shower himself, coming back about five minutes later also wrapped in a robe. They sat out together on the balcony talking for a little while as Fliss pretty much drank the entire bottle of juice before she announced she was going to get ready.

“You look gorgeous.” Frank said as she stood in front of him, wearing her dress. Her hair was pulled back into a bun and her make-up was light, despite the fact that Frank had shoved pretty much every item in her vanity case into their bag not knowing what she would want and wouldn’t want.

“You look pretty dapper too, Sailor” she smiled, taking in his black button down and smart jeans. Dropping a kiss to her cheek he gestured to the door and they both left the room and made their way to the restaurant which was located through the back of the hotel. They were led through to the outside patio which had a spectacular panoramic view of Old Tampa Bay. Fliss ordered herself a mock-tail, whilst Frank asked for a beer, grinning when the waiter told them they had Stella on tap. Fliss busied herself with the menu, and Frank took a moment to watch her. She really was glowing. He’d thought that was such a shit cliché about pregnant women, but at that point in time he couldn’t think of any other way to describe her. Her face was slightly fuller now, but with it she carried a soft look, which just complimented her personality anymore. The changes her entire body was going through reminded him daily she was carrying his baby, and each day he woke up and was convinced he was slightly more in love with her than he had been when he’d fallen asleep, even though he knew that wasn’t actually possible.

“The mahi-mahi looks really good.” Fliss mused as she looked at the menu. “As does the lobster but not sure I can eat that.” “Well, actually…” Frank leaned forward and pulled a piece of paper out of his pocket. “I knew this was a seafood restaurant so Mary did her usual google and found this.”

He handed it to her and waited for her reaction. As she scanned the list of seafood that she could eat she shook her head and let out a little moan.

“So all this time I could have been eating prawns?!”

Frank shrugged “According to that.”

“Damned it!” She cursed “I’m going to kill my mum.” “Well I don’t doubt guidelines have changed a little over the years”

Before she could reply the waiter came back to take them to their table which was on the large veranda at bay level. He left them alone for another ten minutes before returning for their order. Frank raised his eyebrow as Fliss ordered the fishcakes to start and then the Lobster tail for main, not that he cared how much it cost, he wasn’t worrying about that tonight. With that in mind he went for the same starter but then the surf-and-turf option, with a fillet steak.

“I can’t remember the last time we did this.” Fliss said, reaching out over the table, her hand tangling in his. “Just had a meal out, the two of us.”

“Me neither.” He mused. “It was before Christmas I know that much.”

“Probably before Boston actually.”

“We should do it more often” He smiled, his thumb skating over her engagement ring.“I like spending time with you like this.”

“Me too. And don’t worry Sailor. Once Bean is here you’re taking me out for an evening of fine dining where I’m gonna eat my bodyweight in blue cheese and drink a swimming pool full of wine…or champagne…or maybe both.” He chuckled and nodded “Whatever you want honey.”

Their conversation turned to their house hunting, both agreeing that they really needed to step it up a notch. They hadn’t even made an appointment with a bank yet to find out what they biggest budget they had was, so that was first on the agenda, Frank saying he would call to make an apartment on Monday. And then when their starters arrived they switched to the biggest question of all at the moment, whether they were going to find out if Bean was pink or blue.

“I think I wanna know.” Fliss said, swallowing the last of her starter, giving Frank a smile

Frank looked at her, his head cocking to one side. “You wanna find out?”

Fliss smiled shyly and paused as the waiter came along to remove their now empty plates before she continued once he had left. “I wasn’t sure…but…yeah, I think I am now. It struck me before in that shop, that once we know how much easier it will be, buying blue or pink stuff instead of yellows or greys.”

“I dunno, I quite like the yellow item we bought.” He quipped, taking a mouthful of his beer as he nodded to her dress. She grinned.

“You know full well what I mean.”

He chuckled. “Yeah, I do.” He leaned forward a little, both arms resting on the table as he looked at her, “Ok, so that’s decided then…we find out?”

She nodded, holding his gaze for a moment and he blinked, a soft mile spreading across his face. “I can’t wait.” he admitted to her, almost bashfully and she smiled back.

“Me neither…” she whispered.

*****

“Frankie, that was such wonderful evening.” Fliss turned to look at him as she kicked off her sandals whilst he locked the hotel room door behind them. “Thank you.”

“You’re welcome, Sweetheart.” He said gently, pulling her to him as his hands wrapped around her back.

“It was really thoughtful” She whispered, as her hands slid up his chest. “You didn’t have to do it though you know, I mean as an apology, I’m not-“ “No no, it wasn’t that.” He shook his head, “I just wanted some time with you, that’s all. I do have my sentimental moments when I’m not being a complete jack ass.” he quipped and she looked at him, her face soft.

“You’re my jack ass.” She smiled as her arms looped around his neck.

“Always.” He returned her smile as he leaned down to kiss her.

“Can you help me out of this dress?” She whispered into his mouth, and fuck, he didn’t need asking twice.

Frank reached round to the zipper at the back and gently slid it down as Fliss moved back, allowing the lemon coloured fabric to pool at her feet. He followed the line of her body upwards, over her thighs, that neat little bump, up past her hips, her breasts before he finally met her eyes again. He looked at her for a second before his lips crashed to hers, noses bumping slightly as he flicked his tongue teasingly into her mouth, his hands cupping her face as hers fisted in the back of his shirt.

In a quick movement, Frank reached down and hooked his hands round the back of her thighs, easily picking her up, bump and all. She giggled, wrapping her legs round his waist, her nose brushing against his as he carried her over to the bed, setting her down gently on it. He shucked off his own shoes as he reached behind his head and grabbed a fist full of his shirt, yanking it over his head without even bothering with the buttons, before he dropped down on the bed, settling his hips in between her legs in the space she made for him as she ran her hands through his hair. He smiled softly at her before he pressed his lips back to hers, kissing her deeply, his large hands keeping him propped above her so as not to put any of his weight against that precious cargo she was carrying.

She pushed on his chest, sitting up slightly as she reached behind her to undo her bran and Frank leaned forward, placing a gentle kiss on each shoulder as he slid the straps down over her arms, removing it completely. As she lay back against the bed, Frank shifted so he was led on his side by her, his mouth hungrily covering hers as his hand trailed up the outside of her thigh, to her hip, up the side of her body and then onto her breasts teasing gently. She groaned, rolling her head back on the pillow at the sensation, her hips bucking upwards as he shifted, hovering over her. He buried his face in the side of her neck working at the pulse spot, the little noises of pleasure she was making were music in his ear. Her hips began to move, rolling against nothing, groans falling from her lips at the sensation as he nipped slightly at her neck and then moved his mouth to her chest, taking her right nipple in. Her groans were growing louder now and Frank couldn’t take it anymore. He wanted to be in her, surrounded by her, feel her. Moving back to shed the rest of his clothes, he stood up, undoing his jeans and kicking them off, all the time his eyes on Fliss’ as she watched him, her gaze travelling down his body to where his cock now stood angry and red against his abs. He leaned down, hooking his fingers in the lace of Fliss’ panties, pulling them down over her legs before he settled on the bed once more, Fliss moving so she could straddle him. As she did so, his hands tangled in her hair, pulling her face down to kiss him as she reached down between them, taking him in her hand. He groaned but didn’t release her mouth as she adjusted position to take him in, slowly sliding down onto him. A filthy moan flew from her mouth which he swallowed with his kiss as she stayed pressed against him, and she began to move, rolling her hips forward. She was quick to find a rhythm and her mouth fell open against his lips and she let out a shaky moan before sitting up fully.

The sight of her on top, illuminated by soft light streaming in through the slight gap in the curtains was almost enough to tip him right over there and then. He wanted to touch her, so he did, bringing her hands up to run them up her sides until his hands cupped her breasts, thumbs running over her nipples as she let out another moan. As she picked up the pace his hands went to her hips, pulling her down onto him harder, thrusting upwards to meet her for every move she made. She continued to move, quickening, her eyes never leaving his.

“Frankie…”she groaned, as he tilted his hips up harder and he let out a groan himself, increasingly determined to get her there again before he lost it. As he felt the coil in his own belly tightening, his hand moved from her hip to stroke at that spot between her legs and that did it. He felt her tense up and tighten around him, crying out loudly and unbridled as she shook. The sight of her coming undone on top of him, her cheeks flushed, lips pink, mouth open in a now silent scream, would always be the single most exquisite thing Frank had ever seen, no matter how many times he got to see it. All of that, coupled with the force of her heat tightening even, more made him lose himself.

“Fuck, Lissy…” the curse fell from his lips as he thrust upwards, before he spilled himself inside her again, the wave of pleasure washing over him as the world fell silent and he could hear nothing but ringing in his ears. Fliss collapsed forward onto his chest, her tremors subsided, both of them panting as they came back down, turning back into the world. Frank held her close, his fingers running up and down her spine as she let out a soft “hum” of contentment and he sat up, wanting to see her face to face. Still cradling her close he pushed the hair that had fallen over her face back behind her ears and she reached up, running her hands through his, causing him to close his eyes at the sensation of her nails on his scalp.

“God, I love you.” he whispered, pulled her closer, his nose rubbing up against hers.

"I love you too.”

Frank moved so that she could roll off him and to the side, before he pulled the covers back, allowing them both to shuffle under before he turned off the lamp at the side of the bed. Fliss moved so that her head lay on his chest, her arm resting over his stomach and he placed a soft kiss to the side of her temple, his hand moving to softly card through her hair. For the first time in a week, Frank felt like things were completely back to where they should be.

***** They had a lazy morning in the hotel, making the most of the breakfast before they headed back to collect Mary. The drive home was relaxed, the pair of them singing along to whatever came on Frank’s Spotify play-list, Fliss snorting with laughter when the Spice Girls Wannabe hit her ears.

“Hey, it’s a classic.” Frank defended himself as she looked at him, shaking her head.

“Sure it is.” She laughed, cranking the volume up.

When they reached Verity and Bills, Thor came bounding up the drive to greet the truck, running after it and almost sending Fliss flying as he barrelled into her legs. Frank caught her, steadying her as he shot the dog an exasperated look. Whilst he wasn’t growling at Frank anymore, the dog was ridiculously clingy to Fliss, more so than usual and had clearly been unhappy at being away from her. They headed round to the pool area, where Mary was busy wrestling with Steve in the pool, swinging on his arm, trying to pull him under the water. She hardly spared them a second glance as they greeted her, until Verity called her out for a drink and a slice of lemon cake.

“Sit down, sit down!” she ushered Fliss and Frank to the outside table on the decking, where Frank moved a chair back for Fliss, dropping a kiss to her shoulder. Steve and Mary padded over later, Mary wrapped herself in a towel whilst Steve moved over to give Fliss a hug, causing her to squeal as he was wet. Mary hopped onto Frank’s knee and gave his cheek a peck.

Bill appeared a little while later, smiling at them all as he took a seat at the table, an envelope in his hands. He paid it no attention though, simply setting it on the table. They talked for a little while, Fliss telling them all about their hotel and meal before the conversation turned to chatter of house hunting, at which point Verity and Bill shared a glance and Bill cleared his throat

“We wanted to talk to you about that.” Bill said, looking at Fliss.

“Okay.” Fliss frowned, glancing at Frank where he sat to her right. She turned back to her parents. “Is something wrong?”

“No, quite the opposite.” Verity smiled as she glanced at Bill. Both of them looked at Steve then who smiled as Mary looked around.

“Is this one of those adult conversations?” she rolled her eyes and Frank nudged her slightly. Bill chuckled.

“It is kiddo, but you can stay.” he said, before he took a deep breath and leaned forward a little “Ok, so you know I handed the business down to Steve when we left England.” “Yeah…” Fliss looked at him.

“Well, when I did that it was valued at just over 2 million pounds” he said and Frank felt his eyebrows shoot up into his head. He knew that Bill and Verity were affluent, but he hadn’t appreciated just how much.

“I know all this.” Fliss frowned. “I’m not following…” “Well, the deal was that I took a million out of the pot straight away, for me and your mum to retire on.” Bill said, “That didn’t leave a great deal of cash left in the accounts, just enough to keep the cash-flow straight, the rest was tied up in the assets. But the other part of the deal was that whilst I was giving it to Steve, half of it was yours…and as soon as he was able to…he had to give you your share of the remaining value.” Fliss felt her mouth drop open as she wheeled around to look at Frank. “What…I…” “I never told you any of this, because I didn’t want that bastard getting wind of it.” Bill shook his head. “And obviously, we gave you what we could to set up your business and everything when you moved here…but…” “Basically, Titch, the last year or so the profits have sky rocketed.” Steve said. “And…as a result.”

Bill slid the envelope he had brought towards Fliss and she reached out for it with a shaky hand. Opening it gently, she pulled out a cheque and glanced down at the amount. Just short of four hundred and fifty thousand dollars.

“Fuck me.” she mumbled, as she handed the paper to Frank who took a deep breath, gulping as he saw the amount.

“Holy shit…” Mary mumbled as she too read it, but no one payed her the slightest bit of attention, as Fliss broke the stunned silence that had fallen over her and Frank.

“Dad, Mum, I…” she looked up at him, tears in her eyes, “I can’t…” “So, you don’t need to fanny around with a mortgage or a bank loan when you find a house.” Bill smiled at her. “You’ve got enough to buy outright.”

“Bill, Verity, this…this is too much.” Frank looked at them both in turn, the tears stinging his eyes.

“Nonsense.” Verity scoffed “It’s Fliss’ inheritance.”

“I’ll sign a pre-nup.” He stuttered suddenly, “Anything, I…”

Fliss frowned as did Bill, and she turned her eyes to him “Why would I want you to do that?”

“That’s your money.” He protested. “Yeah, and I’m sharing my life with you. Hell, I’m having your baby Frank.” She said gently “I don’t need a pre-nup. You intending on leaving me?” “No of course not.” “Well then.” She shrugged, simply, as if that settled the matter. And in her eyes it did.

“You’ll also still retain your shares.” Steve said gently, “Which means you’ll get the dividends each year and if things keep going the way they are, you might want to consider buying a few more sharpish. They’ll be worth a lot if we land this contract.”

Fliss nodded, taking the information in before she stood up and headed over to her dad who rose from his chair.

“Thank you…thank you so much.” she said, her tears falling as he pulled her to him, wrapping his arms around her back.

“You’re my little girl.” Bill said, his voice choked “I’ll always see you right, you know this.”

She stepped back and turned to her mum as Frank shook Bill’s hand before the man pulled him into a hug.

“Just look after her.” he whispered in Frank’s ear. “I know I don’t need to say it but…”

“You have my word.” Frank pulled back and looked his future father-in-law in the eyes. “I’ll die before I let anything happen to her.”

“Does this mean we can get a house with a pool?” Mary piped up, from where she was now situated in Steve’s arms.

Frank looked at Fliss before they both grinned and he turned to her.

“Not sure.” he said “Don’t want you getting all spoilt now do we?”

“Fine…” she shrugged “I’ll just move in here. That’s ok isn’t it?”

“Of course.” Verity grinned “Although you do know if you do, its bed at 8 every night, no treats before dinner, no…” “Who are you trying to kid?” Mary scoffed “Frank says you’re both a pair of right soft touches.”

Frank groaned as the room erupted into laughter and he shook his head at Mary who stuck her tongue out at him.

“You’re a pain in my ass, you know that?”

Mary simply shrugged and Fliss slid her arms round Frank’s waist and he pressed a kiss to her temple.

“So, house hunting starts tomorrow?” he asked, and she grinned nodding.

“You bet Sailor…”

“Ohhh we could buy a boat!” Mary said suddenly, and Frank paused.

“Actually, that would be kinda cool…”

“Yeah, I’ll buy you a remote control one to play with in the pool” Fliss grinned and Bill laughed as Mary let out a loud yell.

“See, Fliss want’s a pool…”

“Mary, for god’s sake…”

“Ok…Bean wants a pool” Mary grinned and everyone in the room let out a loud laugh, as Fliss looked up at Frank who simply snorted and shook his head.

**** Chapter 6

#riding on #frank adler #frank adler x ofc #frank adler x original female character #gifted #gifted fan fic #chris evans #chris evans characters

61 notes · View notes

themonkeycabal · 4 years ago

Text

WandaVision Ep 8 Spoilers

(THERE IS A MID-CREDITS SCENE, BTW)

Previously on WandaVision: It was Agatha all along.

This show has really come along well. I was worried after the first couple episodes, which were extremely slow, but it's tightened up and been entertaining as heck, in addition to being kind of a surprising meditation on grief and dealing or not dealing. You go along with wacky sitcom hijinks and then get whacked with the reminder so many things that have happened here are driven by terrible loss.

Anyway …. Acting Director Dick is Up To Something regarding Vision, and I fear we're all going to have to endure lots of his jackassery this episode. He's the not very fun part of this show, tbh. But we're getting down to it, so hopefully he gets his comeuppance sooner rather than later. And then on to deal with Agatha. Who is fabulously rotten. I love her, I have to say.

I guess this all leads into Doctor Strange 2, which I didn't know until Feige said it at the TCAs this week. So, that's something to look out for, too. Maybe everybody already knew that, but that was new to me, I think.

In happy news, nobody is power washing the sidewalks this morning. Hooray.

Creepy woods, a figure holding a flaming torch, Salem, Mass. 1693. Ah, Agatha's origin story. Burning at the stake. Or, maybe not. So far it's just being tied to one in the middle of a dark, creepy night.

"Agatha Harkness, are you a witch?" "Yes. I am a witch." "Yet, you have betrayed your coven." *gasp* Agatha!

She's been captured by her coven, because she stole knowledge, practiced dark magic, and other sundry evilities. But she says she's innocent, innocent, do you hear her! Oh, I guess not, "I did not break your rules, they simply bent to my power."

The lead witch is her mother, apparently. Since Agatha seems unrepentant, all the witches zap her with witchy magic or something. She screams a lot. But then her dark powers start drawing from the witches, sucking them dry. This is all very dramatic. Mom casts the final bolt, but Agatha is too powerful and she breaks free. All the other witches, except mom, have been grotesquely mummified.

Agatha swears she can be good, mom doubts. Mom zaps her again. Oh, whoops, Agatha drains mom next. She takes the broach from mom's desiccated corpse then zooms off into the sky in a burst of swirly purple magicy mist. The coven really didn't think that plan through all the way.

Present day, we're right where we left off, in Agatha's basement cavern of dark witches and nosy neighbors. Agatha is talking to her rabbit, Mr. Scratchy, and smirking at Wanda. "I know. She does look shocked to meet the real us, doesn't she?"

Wanda's eyes go glowy and Agatha laughs. "Oh, that's adorable. My thoughts are not available to you, toots."

Wanda wants to know where her children are, and Agatha mocks her about her reappearing/disappearing accent. Wanda tries to whammy her. "Huh, your magic's no good here." But Agatha's is. Agatha's no dummy, and now she's got Wanda magically trussed up in the center of the room.

"Didn't you notice? Basic protection spell? One on each wall? No? Nothing?" Hmm. Agatha, tbh, Wanda has like no idea what she's doing. So … "How do you not know the fundamentals?"

Wanda asks "Who are you?" and Agatha asks the same "Who are *you*? All those costumes and hairstyles. I was so patient, waiting for you to reveal your true self. I got close with fake Pietro — Fietro, if you will". Lol. I love her. She goes on about the magicy stuff she did to make Fietro "But you're so crippled by your own self doubt that you believed it. Oh Wanda."

"When I sensed this place, the afterglow of so many spells cast all at once, I couldn't make heads or tails of it." She shows off a mind control spell with some sort of big gross bug. Great. And has it fly at Wanda's face. Super awesome, Agatha. Oh, I see, she's going through the spells she thinks Wanda has cast, all the details, all the control of a whole town and all its storylines. Agatha's impressed and envious, "What's your secret, sister?"

Wanda says she didn't do anything and Agatha doesn't like that answer and tosses Wanda around. Now, see, Agatha, much as your coven underestimated you, I think your runic protection is only going to go so far before Wanda decides it doesn't.

"I tried to be gentle, to nudge you awake from this ridiculous fantasy. But, you'd rather fall apart than face your truth." Well, I mean. She's really been through a lot the last few weeks, Agatha. Like A LOT. Oh, and we're going to relive it. She's casting some sort of memory spell on Wanda, taking them back to the vast emptiness, endless nothing Wanda described to Fietro a couple weeks ago. You're not being very nice, Agatha.

"It's time to look at some real reruns." Wanda doesn't want to play along, but Agatha reminds her that she's got her children.

So, through the magic memory door they step, and into a tiny Sokovian apartment, with Wanda's parents. Her father apparently smuggled DVDs of "I Love Lucy" and "Bewitched". Didn't the people of Sokovia suffer enough? Well, he's got "The Addams Family", too. That's okay, I guess.

Little Pietro runs in reminding Mama and Papa that the only rule of TV night is you have to speak English. They call for Wanda and Agatha nudges her to step into the role of little Wanda. Papa says Wanda can pick what they're going to watch, but outside, there's gunfire. Except, I guess it's no big deal, Mama turns away from the window and the street battle below their apartment, while little Wanda says she wants to watch "The Dick Van Dyke Show", season 2, episode 21. Poor kid. Pietro agrees and moans, "Always sitcom, sitcom, sitcom!"

I'm waiting for the Stark Bomb to fall.

Little Wanda is far too enamored of "The Dick Van Dyke Show". Oh! There's the bomb. Pietro grabs her and they hide under the bed and they stare at the Stark Bomb. She and Pietro discuss what to do, while in the background, behind the bomb, the tv continues to play.

Little Wanda reaches out with her magic hand and then big Wanda is yanked out of the memory by Agatha, who demands to know if she stopped the bomb going off. "You used a probability hex?" Wanda says she didn't do anything, the bomb just never went off.

"So, what I see here is a baby witch, obsessed with sitcoms, and years of therapy ahead of her." lol, but harsh. "Where'd you get the big guns, Wanda?" A good question, Agatha. We never did get that answer before, really, did we? Just a sort of vague suggestion of "hydra did stuff to her and pietro maybe?".

"I don't want to go back there." "I know you don't. But it's good medicine, angel. The only way forward, is back."

Through another magic door we go.

Ha, I just paused and saw the title of the ep is "Previously On".

And into the Hydra lab. "Don't be scared, you already lived it once."

Oh, it's Loki's scepter. And the … whichever stone that is. I can't remember, totally lost track of them. Mind stone?

Wanda is in the containment unit with the scepter. The Hydra scientist wants her to do something with the scepter, and jr scientist says that no subject has survived this and lead scientist is like shut up and 'go ahead Wanda, it'll be totally fine'.

Wanda approaches the scepter and it starts to shake and the stone breaks free and flies at her, but then pauses and they stare at each other. She reaches out for it. Then the blue outer bit of the stone explodes off and underneath is the the yellow stone. Ok, yeah it is the Mind stone.

Lots of dramatic power stuff with Wanda and the stone. She sees a flying silhouetted figure in the light of the stone and then passes out. She survives! I mean, obviously. The Hydra scientists have her sent to isolation where they torture her by making her watch "The Brady Bunch". Well, no, I guess she likes it. Keep this under your hat, but if you ever want to break me, making me watch "The Brady Bunch" could probably do it.

The Hydra scientists meanwhile are trying to figure out what happened, watching the recordings over and over — they don't see the whole stone flying towards Wanda and the subsequent mind meld. She's just standing there, and then falls down.

Agatha sums this up for us "So, little Orphan Wanda got up close and personal with an Infinity Stone that amplified what otherwise would have died on vine. The broken pieces of you are adding up, buttercup. I have a theory, but I need more."

Door number three reveals her digs at the Avengers compound. She is, of course, watching TV. "Malcolm in the Middle." Well, it's better than "The Brady Bunch." The only thing I hate more than "The Brady Bunch" is "The Partridge Family."

"Where are we now?" "The Avengers compound. It was the first home Vision and I ever shared. Pietro was dead, and I was in a new country. I was all alone."

Vision enters through the wall, back when he didn't remember doors existed, and Wanda invites him to sit next to her and watch TV. "It's funny because of the grievous injury the man just suffered?" Vision doesn't get sitcoms either.

Vision sweetly tells her that if she wants to talk about what she's feeling, he'd like to know. "Should you wish to tell me. Should that be of some comfort to you." "What makes you think talking about it would bring me comfort?" "Well, I read a thing—" that's the Tony Stark part of Vision. "The only thing that would bring me comfort is seeing him again." Poor Wanda.

Vision has a little "I don't know how to respond to that" face journey that is subtle but made me laugh.

She apologizes to him. "It's just like this wave washing over me again and again." She says the wave will drown her, but Vision says it won't.

"It can't all be sorrow, can it?" IS2G if you two make me tear up this morning, I will … not do anything but be kind of annoyed. I have had the worst allergies the last couple of days, don't make me more snotty!

"I've always been alone, so I don't feel the lack. It's all I've ever known. I've never experienced loss, because I've never had a loved one to lose. What is grief, if not love persevering?" Damn you, Vision. At least I have a new box of tissues.

He sees something funny on the telly and laughs then apologizes. She laughs with him, though. "No, it was funny." They smile at each other, cutely awkward.

Even Agatha wipes at the corner of one eye. Though it could be annoyance. Hard to tell.

"So to recap: parents dead, brother dead, Vision dead." You're still a very mean person, Agatha. "What happened when he wasn't there to pull you back from the darkness, Wanda?"

Wanda doesn't want to play this game anymore. Agatha insists. "Tell me how you did it? Vision was gone, but you wanted him back."

Wanda sort of wakes up, "I wanted him back." Door number four takes us to SWORD's ridiculous and massive lobby. Really, what is with the stupidly enormous monitors hovering over the whole absurd place? So stupid. Nobody wants to watch the news that badly or bigly.

Wanda is walking through the lobby — SWORD's security sucks — but contrary to Acting Director Dick's version of the story, Wanda is politely asking the security guy where Vision is. And not throwing red woo-woos or anything. "Please, please. When I came back, he was gone. His body. And I know he's here. He deserves a funeral, at least. I deserve it."

Speaking of AD Dick. He seems to be watching this on the security feed, he calls the security desk and talks to the guard. Wanda spots the camera. But, security guy waves her through, gives her directions to wherever.

Security guy gets up to buzz Wanda in, but she says she's got it, and she opens the door herself. The footage AD Dick used to make her look like a terrorist. I mean, we knew he was a dick, so this is no surprise, but still. Jimmy! Arrest that asshole for aggravated assholery and general shadiness!

Anyway, Wanda's striding down hallways and as she comes even to the Director's door, the security light goes green and beeps so she goes into his office.

There’s polite introductions and whatever.

"I understand you're here to see the Vision. To recover his body." "Well, I'm his next of kin." "I understand." You're a lying sleazy snake who's been doing shady things with Vision's body. "I'd like to show you something?" "And then you'll give him to me?" No, because he's a scumbag.

He shows her a lab, she's confused, he says it's what she asked to see. And down in the lab are technicians taking Vision's body apart. Obviously, this is horrifying to her. What did Hayward expect to get from showing Wanda that? Like she'd be all "oh, hmm, how fascinating. Look, he's made of wires and such. By all means, cut my boyfriend's robot head off. For science"?

"What are you doing to him?" "We're dismantling the most sophisticated sentient weapon ever made." I think you're a liar pants, Dick. "It's our legal and ethical obligation."

"I just want to bury him. It's all I want." "Are you sure?" "Excuse me?" "Not everyone has the kind of power that could bring their soulmate back online — forgive me — back to life." You are such a sleaze, Dick. They can't get Vision to work again, so why not emotionally manipulate the grieving woman to do it for you. Gross. DIAF Dick.

"No, I can't do that. That's not why I'm here." "Okay, I can't allow you to take three billion dollars worth of vibranium just to put it in the ground." He's the worst. "The best I can do is let you say goodbye to him here."

"He's all I have." "Well, that's just it, Wanda; he isn't yours." Somebody needs to squash this guy like a bug. I don't care who. Wanda, obviously, deserves the honor most, but let her get on with her life, I say. Monica's probably the next best for sure. SOMEBODY THOUGH! Hand Darcy a wrench, she'll take care of it.

Where were we … Oh, Wanda's doing the head tilt of impending magical ass-kickery. She busts through the glass, drops down to the floor of the lab, and a security team runs out to point their guns at her. AD Dick tells them to fall back. Why, his plan's working just perfectly, no need to interfere with the woman he’s making suffer extra.

Wanda walks around Vision's body to his head. And she puts her hand over the giant hole where Thanos ripped out the mind stone. "I can't feel you." Every bit of this, for me, takes AD Dick from a generic loathsome character, to somebody actually disgusting. Do not like.

Wanda can't feel Vision at all, and she walks away, out of the room, out of the SWORD building, leaving the body behind. THIS IS VERY SAD, MARVEL.

She gets into her car, and in the passenger seat is an open envelope, like for a greeting card or something. And off she goes to Westview, New Jersey. A down-on-its-luck small town, full of sad looking people and dirty streets.

She pulls into the driveway of a property that's overgrown, with just a foundation, no house.

Damn you show. It wasn't an envelope, it was a real estate deed with a plan of the property with a red heart drawn on it, and the words "to grow old in. v." inside. What did Wanda do to deserve this? I mean, fine, she was in Hydra for like a minute, but she wasn't a true believer or anything, and she redeemed herself. Come on. Stupid Marvel, making all the things hurt.

She's crying, you're crying, I'm crying, everybody's crying, as she walks into the foundation of the home that never was. And then it all just comes pouring out of her in a great burst of red light and grief and power. Creating the sitcom world around her and swallowing Westview. Poor Wanda.

There. There's your answer, Agatha. Are you happy, you big meanie? Go turn AD Dick into a toad, or something, would you?

Hm, from her power, the yellow light of the mind stone starts to separate out, from back when she and it sort of had their moment in the Hydra lab, and out of that Vision is recreated or reborn or reconstituted or … whatever. Then they're in the black and white world of the first ep, and everything is perfect. Damn you, Marvel.

Real world Wanda looks up from where she's standing behind B&W Wanda and Vision and sees it's all just a TV show set. Agatha is in the audience, clapping. She vanishes and Wanda can hear Billy and Tommy screaming for her. She runs off set and into her front yard.

Out on the street, Agatha has the boys on magic leashes.

Agatha says she knows what Wanda is and that "You have no idea how dangerous you are." Well, keep holding her boys with magic ropes around their necks and we'll all find out. Agatha's gone full witchy here, she looks great.

"You're supposed to be a myth. A being capable of spontaneous creation. Here you are, using it to make breakfast for dinner." lol. Hey! I was actually thinking last night that I hadn't made waffles in a while. Breakfast for dinner is its own kind of magic, Agatha. (note to self: check we have syrup)

Wanda is pretty done with Agatha. She wants the boys released.

"Oh yes, your children. Vision. This whole little life you've made; this is chaos magic, Wanda. And that makes you … The Scarlet Witch!" DUN DUN DUN! CREDITS! !!!!

Well that was all very dramatic and sad. A really good episode, really good. Damn you, Marvel. Kathryn Hahn is great, absolutely love her.

Yes, there's a mid-credits scene, btw. F'in AD Dick, for what it's worth, finally putting his Genius Master Plan into action. What a dick. The biggest sack of tiny dicks you ever saw. No really, I hate this guy. I hope Wanda tears him a hundred new ones. Then sets what's left on fire. With her mind.

Also, he’s dumb. He can’t possibly think he can contain Wanda when she gets a look at his Genius Master Plan, can he? Is he that dumb? Probably, but couldn’t one of his little minions go “um, sir, she did almost defeat Thanos. I suspect this may end catastrophically for us.”

Do you suppose Darcy’s still stuck in traffic?

OH NO! There’s only one more episode left. I’m sad about that. This has turned out really quite good. Well done, show. Well done.

#wandavision #wandavision spoilers #wandavision liveblog

29 notes · View notes

shy-magpie · 4 years ago

Text

RQG 156

live blog under the cut

Heads up about half way through I realized I go a bit further into analysis on where Zolf & the Kobolds are mentally than some people might be comfortable with. Just as they trust us to back off if the episode gets to real, I am trusting you to close the tab if my little live blog is hitting you wrong. If it makes a difference I have years between me and the reason I relate to this stuff.

"In Memorium" they are trying to kill us Ah they lampshaded the speed intros Yes Alex it is rather Paris Right to Azu & Zolf. Oh he's jumping right in. And there's my first pause of the episode. No “better” isn't a magic finish line you pass then never find yourself in that place again. No, knowing that doesn't mean you don't wonder if your back at square one every time you realize You Are In A Bad Place and Not Handling it Well. Gosh Azu is good at this. Yeah learning to walk away is hard. Learning to ignore the part of yourself that says "and never come back for their sake" is harder. Symbolic much Alex (Zolf is too small for the room, Azu is too large) Yeah it would be easier to not blame Zolf for last episode if I related to him a bit less. Okay they are talking about Hamid and their concerns for him directly. Yeah Hamid's relationship with power & privilege is an arc; and without the Doylist level of trusting Bryn & Alex, I can see where even if you trust/like him you'd be worried about it. With the best of intentions people misuse power. Azu quoted Grizzop at Zolf. Didn't name him, wonder if Zolf is ever going ask directly about his replacement in canon or if its best left to fic. Its easy to dismiss one's own successes. Okay fair and OW, Zolf isn't up to talking about Sasha; which is the part of this I was most prepared for. Hell yeah! He is coming down but not going to be attempting to lead so as to relieve pressure on himself. Maybe if he can let Hamid step up without making a Kew Garden thing he'll see how much he's grown. Hopefully without that setting off a "Hamid does better without me" thing. Yeah intellectual knowledge and it feeling real on an emotional level are very different things. Alex, why does it matter what order they are in? ALEX? The necklace? The Heart of Aphrodite shaped necklace? Azu got a Sign from Aphrodite approving of her reaching out to Zolf as an act of love. Yes! Blue Black no take backs! Yeah those two (players) know exactly what they are doing: breaking my heart in the best ways and not skipping over the actual work those two (characters) need to put into their relationship with OOC "its all fine now"s. Ok that settles the timeline, Azu went up same night, the device isn't made yet. Yeah Zolf wouldn't, probably best to back off while things are tender while being present enough to assure he isn't planning on leaving. Seriously bless Azu, this has to be at least as hard on her as Helen but she is letting the boys have room to work it out for themselves instead of "trying to help". The last thing either of them need right now is pressure especially on this point. Aw the Kobolds teach Cel draconic. Oh smart kid, not only is it just logical for the Kobolds to work with Cel directly, it might help them get over the "looking to see if the boss approves of how you breathe" stage. Especially if he is clear about not being threatened by them having advantage over him in this area. Heck of a relief this isn't hitting my rank issues. Ooh all the Kobolds are amazing engineers, wonder if its a Kobold thing or if Skraak recruited people with similar interests. Nice rework of the "Kobolds build traps" thing from pathfinder. I genuinely love how instead of pitching the original description of Kobolds out the window, Alex has backwards engineered it. Reputation for traps isn't a dishonorable approach to fighting, its a sign of their skill. They aren't minions, their trauma is interacting with a cultural attitude about rank in weird ways. Oh Cel! Cel is amazing. Under Shoin's orders they: made Magic Steroids, did maintenance (more towards the end as Shoin wasn't taking care of things), built the place initially, sourced ingredients, other Kobolds built the Mechkraken. Damn Shoin, they can't even be proud of all they were able to do in adverse circumstances because he tainted it. If they weren't forced to do it and have it used for ill ends, building the kraken would be impressive. A lot of that sounds like difficult work. Hamid stuff: yeah it is from a place of fear; and they would be hypersensitive and need to try to "defend him" so he doesn't react. Terrified of his anger? Handle anything that even annoys him to cut it off at the pass. And being a good person who doesn't like scaring them, Hamid is going to over do the very "Mary Sunshine" routine that makes Zolf think he doesn't appreciate the gravity of the situation. You'd think Mr "do a grief later" would get that Hamid doesn't have to walk the halls wailing to be aware of the end of the world. Not that the kid can win, if he cried and threw up it would be proof he hasn't grown from season one. Hopefully by taking a back seat Zolf will have a chance to see Hamid's actions and realize being chipper & wholesome doesn't mean stupid. Oh Alex has thought this through, one of these days I'll quit being surprised he actually gets this stuff. Not being able to read the person whose emotions feel like life & death is a Bad Thing. Thank Alex for Skraak. Weird seeing this stuff from this side, of course learning to focus on my end instead of being preoccupied with what was going on in the heads of people who were on Hamid's end of it was rather the point. Perfect balance, Hamid gives them enough space to realize he isn’t going to explode, Skraak "translates" into something clear enough not to stress them out. Like when Zolf snapped at Skraak when he pledged to Hamid; might not be pretty but not knowing what The Powers That Be want? Very bad place. Rank and clear orders are very important when appeasing those who outrank you is everything. Cel has dealt with a lot of young and unsure apprentices!?! Yeah well Cel isn't in their chain of command and gears don't get offended if you have an opinion on the right way to configure them. Cel is great Azu & Hamid talking about Zolf! Helen is wonderful! I thought this was going to be drawn out and indirect, instead they are actually facing things head on and dealing with them. Aw these two are so good for each other. Azu would set aside her own emotions. Hot damn Azu, getting right to it! Hamid can be amazingly open about his self awareness and it surprises me every time. It fits him and is a very good thing, but going from answering "how are you?" with "the Kobolds are doing well" to "I never knew how to help him" without it being jarring made me do quite the double take. Guess I was expecting more deflection. Yeah well you two are redefining your boundaries, entire relationship, and rank in specific, while being the perhaps the only people with enough of the picture to figure out how to save the world. Working out the balance between conflicting views on that, when neither of you knows what the end will look like was never going to be smooth. Oh yes and none of you have directly addressed that half of Zolf's rank & dick measuring stuff is because he doesn't know if he even has a role if he isn't The Boss or The Healer.* Oh the grin in Alex's voice as he tells them there is something else before the brorb interview. Whisky tumblers for each? Quite a sigh there Ben News? Big news? While they were in the institute? They ought to sit down. Wilde get to it. Ah Azu & Hamid are holding hands. Poor kid with his prop. Letter? Ancient Rome? Sasha? Are all the fics coming true? Their founder "Askingus"!?! Oh Sasha, oh Zolf! Lydia! Oh the kids! She named the kids after the party. She even found her faith. A break? How the hell are we only half way through the episode. Also hell yeah Lydia deserves all the awards, that was an amazing letter. XD Ben! Oh Hamid, we reacted that way to the epilogue that way too. It really is okay, it was a good end. Yeah he could use a drink. Poor Zolf. Hamid gives Wilde a hug. "technically I think that makes Sasha my boss". XP be cryptic Alex, The RSB will have it figured out by Friday. Ok Zolf got to read the letter on his own. Azu lit 3 candles, because Helen wants me to cry. Hamid is at Zolf's door with a bottle and two glasses. Lydia this is a compliment to your skill. More direct than I expected from Hamid. Oh these two! Okay he is drunk enough to go there (angry at Zolf for leaving but he gets it). About time someone told Zolf directly he's grown. Aw Zolf puts him to bed. Thank you Alex! Ben! (okay fair, if any of Hamid was left he'd cuddle). Sorry Cel! Lydia wanted to break/heal our hearts more than she wanted the plot to move forward ;) Good plan: take the orb to the anti magic field, only those who have already talked to it can talk directly. Info control. Hive mind/telepathy directly addressed. Finally what Shoin eats is addressed. Ok Cel has some teeth on them. Hasn't fed it, is using the vibration to threaten to explode his brain, (no English doesn't have enough pronouns we are working on it)... Oh good point better feed it. Aw Zolf is possessive of the kitchen. Shoin is still Shoin. Cel is not happy about not being recognized. Nice to hear the boys working together. The Infection might block him from being directly aware of being infected. Bullsh$% he backed himself up. Good point Zolf even if he does, they are separate lives, this instance can still fear death. Oh all the party have teeth, nice they don't have the "good guys have to be sweet & gentle with the baddies" thing Yeah Cel isn't stupid, the brorbs arm isn't a threat. Oh auto painting that will make the people theorizing on the bio side of how the Brorb works happy. A circulatory diagram, and am ocean of faces. Paints like a printer. A creepy charcoal sketch of London staring at the artist. *I swear on Rusty Tower if they let him hurt himself any worse because he thinks his new role is "a brick wall on wheels" I am joining the line to fight Ben in a Whetherspoons parking lot. Yes it would be in character but so would healing. There are other hills. Although seriously its been great having a character that shows so many of the aspects of depression that usually get left out. That Zolf is also a three dimensional character with a full personality beyond just "the one with mental health issues" while not making it look like those issues are tacked on or easy to handle? Stunning work.

#Rusty Quill Gaming #RQG Spoilers #alcohol #live blog thingy #RQG 156

8 notes · View notes

social-holland · 6 years ago

Text

Sick Days

Pairing: Tom Holland x Reader

Warning: None

Summary: Your’re sick and your friend (and secret crush) Tom comes over to help you get healthy again.

Word count: 2079

A/N: This is for @loserparker ‘s writing challenge with the prompt “Why are you helping me.” Congrats to 3k and check her writing out. It’s amazing. 🎉💞

You head felt like exploding. Your nose was stuffed, and you would lie if you said you were fine. You knew it. Z knew it. But it didn’t change anything about the work you had to finish. It was exam season and you should try to memorize different aspects and information for it.

Tissues and books laying around, your much-loved cup which was now empty next you as you occupied the living room. Your laptop in front of you while you were desperately trying to finish last minute projects your professors had assignment.

Zendaya watching you from the kitchen, shaking her head over her stubborn vivid friend. A plan already forming in her head and a hand on her phone to text a certain someone.

Z is your roommate. Original met during your high school years, your friendship blossomed even more after school was finished. She was one of your best friends and you constantly missed her when she was on the road, filming for a new movie.

You were proud to say the least. Because she was crushing her own goals and living her dream. All while being this amazing being. With Z’s career came also new friends and if she could, she would try to at least introduce them to you.

One of the friends was Tom. The brown haired Brit was special to you. He was not only good looking and talented but also extremely kind. And you had been crushing on Tom even since meeting him for the first time while filming on the first Spiderman a few years ago.

Sadly, you couldn’t spend a lot of time with him, Z and the rest of the cast. Filming started picking up soonish and you would have to take your exams in that time. There would be no way to spend time together, let alone the cold that was bothering you right now.

“You have to lay low for a while at least, Y/N/N.” Your favourite cup was shoved into your hands, filled with yet another tea, as Zendaya was standing in front of you. “I have to finish this, Z.” You could already feel your nose start running again. “Well, how do you plan on taking your exams if you still sick?” She was trying to take your laptop but your grip was stronger as you looked her jokingly into the eyes. “Dead or sick.” Z was rolling her eyes over you. Again, not the first time in the last days.

“Whatever you say.” She took her jacket and keys before walking to the door and taking her keys and phone. “I have a few things to do. But Tom said he would be dropping by later. Please, let him in if I’m not back until then.”

“Sure.” Your cheeks already heating up when thinking of him. Zendaya gave you a little smile and wave before closing the door behind her.

Truth to be said… By now you usually would start to get ready to look at least a little decent for Tom. But you didn’t feel like it today, the cold taking its toll on your plus you hoped Z would be back before he would arrive. You tried your best to leave a little impression on him. However, he was just a friend or something along the line and you doubt that he would look at you the same way.

He was Tom Holland. Someone who could probably have a lot of girls. Your insecurities were definitely showing. You shook your head, trying to get rid of the thoughts. Positive thinking as Z preached you.

The next hours you spend continuing to work on a presentation for your psychology class and sipping on your tea. You almost forgot that Tom wanted to come over until the doorbell buzzed.

Too intrigued you jumped at the sound. Picking up your tissues and throwing them away before making your way to the door. Going through your hair one last time to make yourself at least a little bit approachable.

Tom smiled at you when he opened the door. Wearing his usual jeans and a black Punisher hoodie together with a jeans jacket. “Hey love.” He greeted and was about to hug you before you took a step back. Throwing your hands up to him. His face sinking for a moment before you explained. “I’m sick and you shouldn’t get infected.”

His smile right back and despite your words, he pressed himself against you. Your arms automatically making their way around his waist. “Missed you.” He mumbled in your hair and you could feel yourself heating up again. Missing his smell since your nose was stuffed.

You let him go, smiling a little bit. “Do you want something to drink?” Making your way into the kitchen and opening the fridge and searching for something to offer Tom. “Just water, please.” He was standing in front of the sofa. “Shouldn’t you be relaxing, Darling? You’re sick.” He asks, one of your many books that were laying around in his hand.

You were handing him the bottle before sitting down and placing your Laptop back into your lap. “I don’t have time. Exams are coming up.” Tom took his seat next to you. Watching as you started to type again. After a while he started playing with your hair. Gently placing it behind you ear. “You can’t take them when you’re sick.” He whispered.

“That’s what you believe.” You smiled cheekily at him before taking another tissue. Trying to get rid of the stuffed nose. “Sorry.” Thank god, the headache was taking a break for now.

“It’s fine, love.” He stopped playing with your hair and feeling on your forehead for a moment. “But you should really relax a little bit. Your skin is glowing.” His voice sounded concerned. “Tom… I can’t. I really have to finish that. Plus you really shouldn’t touch me. You will get sick.” He rolled his eyes at you while taking a sip of his water. Watching you for a while before offering. “What about we finish it together and after that we going to watch a film.”

You turned your attention away from your project, now really looking at Tom. “You really don’t need to do it.” Without another word, he took your laptop away from you and looking over what you had been typing. Making you snort over his crumpling face.

Together you spend a while. Tom typing your notes or putting pictures and graphs in while you put together your flashcards and looking over his work. Just a few words were traded. It was good spending time with and you enjoyed being alone with him. Even while you two were working on Uni stuff. You did miss Tom while he was back in England and felt yourself wishing you could see him more.

You didn’t realise that you were watching him until he glanced at you. Smiling and showing that he was done. You flustered at being caught watching him. “What?” A simple laugh escaped him. “Why are you helping me?” Tom saved your document one last time before placing it on the table in front of him.

“Missed you and if this is the way to spend time with you that’s how we do it.” His legs were crossed over and his body faced you. His voice was quiet and he played with his own hands while saying it. He looked back at you when you didn’t answer. A small smile playing on your lips. You both being shy in each other presence.

“Let’s finish this or do you want to watch the film now?” He suddenly asks. “Tom!” You laughed as he put up his hands in defeat and sudden topic change. “Ok, Ok. Got it. Finish work first.”

Tom walked into the kitchen, doing something. You were looking at your computer. Clicking over what done had done and were impressed. He did really good and you were thankful for his help. But his words didn’t leave your mind. He actually wanted to spend time with you and he missed you.

Your heart was thumbing over his words and you could feel yourself smiling a lot wider.

Tom came back shortly after you closed the project and put the computer away. A cup and a bowl in his hand. He handed you the cup and saw that he had heated up some leftover soup for you. “Thank you.” He smiled at you. “Welcome, love.” Taking all the books and placing them away.

You opened Netflix and got some blankets for Tom and yourself. “You choose. You’re the guest.” Wanting to pass the TV remote to him after you sat down. “You’re the sick, little one. You choose.” You two settled on the office. You could feel him right next to you as you two were following the series. After you finished the soup, you put down the bowl and took the cup with tea he made. Tom even remembered your favourite flavour it seemed.

“Zendaya said you guys wanted to meet?” You questioned him after the first episode ended. “She planned on running lines for the next scenes we do together.” He looked at you. The next episode now playing more quietly in the background. “What are they about?” Curiosity getting the best of you. “You know I can’t tell you about it.” You poked his cheek, laughing about him. “But you’re Spoilerman.” He fake frowned at you. “Just kidding. Don’t want to get you in trouble.”

“Would be worth it but I’m still not telling you.” Tom teased. “Are you feeling relaxed?” He asks while you further cuddled yourself into the blanket. “Little bit.” Tom threw his arm around you, pulling your back into his chest. “Come here.” You tried to insist, not wanting him to catch onto your flu. “B-But I’m getting you sick.”

“Don’t care.” He put your blanket back around you before placing his arms around your shoulders, pressing you against him. He gave you soft kisses on the head while you continued to watch the office. The kisses were light and he didn’t intend for you to feel them. Hoping you were intrigued enough with the episode. “Missed you, love.” He whispered and if you were not already flushed enough, you would be by now. “You already said that.” You whispered back while taking his hands, squeezing them. “I missed you, too.” You heard yourself saying back.

“Thank you for taking care of me.” You continued. “Always.” Tom didn’t stop placing the kisses on your head. Always leaving a little bit of time in between.

It was now or never situation. You could just ask him. Taking all the confidence and finally saying the words you had been thinking since he started cuddling you. “I would ask you to finally really kiss me but I’m too sick.”

“Don’t want to kiss you now, either.” Your heart sank at Toms words. You had ruined it all. Swearing to yourself for screwing up before you turned around to apologize. He beat you to it. “I needed to take you on a date first.”

Your eyes widened at his words and you could see how his cheeks turned scarlet red now. W-Wou-Would you l-like to go on a date with me?” You ask in a higher pitched voice. “S-Sure.” He answered. “As soon as you feel better. I’m taking you out.”

Beaming now at each other, you two laughed. Before settling back into your position. Tom and you were going on a date and you couldn’t wait for it.

“I wanted to ask you for a really long time now.” He admitted. “Really?” Playing with his hands nervously. “Yeah, Haz and Z were getting on my nerves with it. They really wanted me to ask you, too.” You rolled your eyes over your friends. “Of course, they would.”

“Hey, you two.” Zendaya greeted the two of you as she opened the door. However, she started laughing as she saw you two sitting together on the sofa. No, surprises there. “Knew it.” Turning around and watching her. “Z.” You playfully glared “Well, you two kids have fun. See you later.” Z winked her eyes at you and made her way to her room.

Tom and you shaking your heads over your friend. Even more when you saw that she posted a picture of the two of you cuddling into the big group chat. One comment under it Finally.

Let me know if you liked the imagine, please!❤

Tag list: @smexylemon @marvelismylifffe @lavieenbananabread @spideytaeh @tomhollanduniverse

#loserparkers3k #tom holland imagine #tom holland imagines #tom holland fanfiction #tom holland x reader #tom holland x you #tom holland x y/n #zendaya imagine #tom holland #writing challenge #loserparker

227 notes · View notes

theteaisaddictive · 6 years ago

Note

what the fuck, you were into sarah jane adventures at some point?? pls tell us. all. the hcs

oh MAN sja was my jam when i was a kid. i haven’t seen the series in years and i never watched the very last one apart from the final episode (the one where we get Peak Sibling Bonding between luke and skye) so i’m sorry if these contradict canon too much

ok this is basically canon anyway, but clyde and rani get together. probably in the finale, at some crucial point when one of them has been wounded trying to protect the other. in my head, it’s clyde who jumps in front of/pulls rani out the way of whatever, and they’re in a wee corner or something while the Wonder Twins and sj are trying to foil the big bad. bc for ages, it seemed like clyde had a crush on rani but she didn’t know how to deal with it (’YOU WERE THE FIRST ONE I CALLED.’ MY HEART. I CAN’T) so it makes sense, like narratively, for her to be the one who confesses first and they kiss and it’s awesome for like 2 seconds and then they have to go back to saving the world again

to everyone’s surprise, luke is actually very chill about the situation DESPITE him being the voice of the fandom in the show itself

luke and skye continue being The Cutest Siblings Ever and they frequently call/skype each other to gush about their respective projects at school/uni. to luke’s surprise he actually starts having to rely on having a little sister who can control electricity and it’s a weird moment, but its also #growth

(look i can’t remember what skye’s powers were for the life of me ok don’t @ me)

at some point in the finale they probably had to get maria involved again (i missed maria!! like i adore rani but i missed maria!!!) so all 5 of them start chatting regularly on Skype and maria decides to move back to the uk and work with unit there

(her and her dad were working with unit in america, right???? fuck i’ve forgotten so much ANYWAY)

you can probably see where this is going: after clyde and rani leave school the five kids (luke, sanjay, clyde, rani, and maria) get a flat together in the city to save on rent

hijinks ensue

oh yeah sanjay has known what’s been going on pretty much the whole time btw. when your roommate/top secret crush never puts in his headphones when he’s skyping his mum it’s kind of difficult to NOT overhear what they’re talking about when the walls are that thin.

luke and sanjay have, if possible, and even more ridiculous will-they-won’t-they than clyde and rani did (hence why luke was so chill when clani got together, he was finally realising what they were going through) but it comes to a head, as things on tv shows so often do, during the finale.

sanjay is genre-savvy and refuses to let luke leave with a promise to ‘talk when i get back’ and they just have the Most Awkward convo in the living room ever.

it’s fine, they work it out

so NOW there are two camps in sja; the Hip Young Adults in the City (with frequent B-plots including: why the fuck did none of us pack kitchen knives; it’s been how long since we hoovered under the sofa?; rani tries to get a chore wheel going; and of course, Oh Shit The Landlord’s Coming And A Slitheen Just Exploded In The Living Room, Everyone Panic) and sarah jane and skye in the cottage (bc i think the bannerman road house was meant to explode in the finale??? i could have sworn i read that somewhere) acting as a home base

also, maria and clyde come out as a lesbian/bi respectively, and rani comes out as pan. (this is just an excuse to have the kids make millennial humour gay jokes but i Do Not Care, ket me have my cake and eat it)

sarah jane reconnects with other previous companions, both classic and new who, and it’s a bunch of older ladies kicking arse while their kids just kind of stand there like MUM WHERE DID YOU GET THE RAY GUN

and when 13 does eventually show up (in my dreams, i know, whatever) with ryan, yaz, and graham –

well, let’s just say the storyline gets split into a three-parter, there’s so much going on

#asks #the sarah jane adventures #sja #I LOVE MY ALIEN-FIGHTING CHILDREN

35 notes · View notes

pinkhairandadverbs · 6 years ago

Text

EBAS Episode 1: The War Against Giygas

1 EXT. GAS STATION - TWILIGHT

All we see is crimson static. After some time a still image of a gas station materializes. It appears hurriedly abandoned judging by the broken windows, open doors, and merchandise littering the ground.

Behind the pump is a street lined by several buildings in a similar state to the gas station. Flying saucers hover ominously in the sky, frozen in place. The static abides completely as we PULL OUT SLOWLY.

The first thing that becomes clear is that this is only a poster. A caption above and below the picture reads "IT IS EARTHBOUND / THE WAR AGAINST GIYGAS!" PULLING OUT FURTHER, we see it's on the wall of the very same

gas station. A loose corner of a poster bends in the hollow wind.

We hear it before we see it: a small lightning strike, startlingly close, sends shards of pavement and dust across the crimson skies.

In a moment we see the whole street. The saucers, now alive, zip across the deep red horizon in zigzagging patterns. They shoot bolts of lightning to the ground, upheaving asphalt and exploding empty cars.

Wind blows off the poster and carries it across the frame.

Static again. We hear the distant voice of an adolescent girl.

VOICE Hello. Can anyone hear me?

Through the static we see the scene again. A fire has erupted on one of the cars. A speck in the sky seems to be growing. Before long it's evidently a glowing meteor streaking across the sky, directly towards the scene!

VOICE I'm not sure if this is working. If anyone can hear me, please-

The meteor's glow engulfs the scene and the voice is halted by a loud CRASH.

2 INT. NESS'S BEDROOM - NIGHT (199X)

The same sound comes faintly now. NESS, 13-ish and still wide-eyed in striped pajamas, is stirred from his bed.

NESS Hello?

POV: Ness looks around his room, decorated with baseball and 90's video game memorabilia. PAN ACROSS.

He checks out the window to the forested suburban street. A fierce golden glow emanates from a nearby hilltop.

NESS What is that?

He rubs his eyes and gets out of bed.

3 INT. LIVING ROOM

Ness comes down the stairs to see his mother, dressed in a nightgown and already on the phone.

Ness's loyal dog, KING, lazily wags up to Ness and licks his hand.

NESS

Hi there King.

KING

(Telepathically)

Ness. There was a loud noise. It's dark but Mom's awake. I'm confused.

NESS So you heard it too... It wasn't a dream after all.

MOM

(To the phone)

-Yes honey, we're alright. We still have power and everything. Hold on, Ness just came down. (To NESS)

Ness. Did the noise wake you?

NESS

Yeah. What was it?

MOM

Must have been a transformer. Don't worry about it.

NESS

Can I go check it out?

MOM

Absolutely not! It's already far past your bedtime and-

Mom stops at the mischievous look on Ness's face.

MOM

-And you would just sneak out anyway, wouldn't you?

NESS

I don't know what you're talking about.

Mom smiles.

MOM

Change out of your jammies before you go.

Ness celebrates by jumping up and down and kissing Mom on the cheek.

NESS

Thanks, mom!!

4 EXT. NESS'S NEIGHBORHOOD

Ness shuts the front door behind him, now clad in a striped shirt and shorts. (Notably, the only thing missing from his signature attire is his backpack.)

He looks up at the glowing hilltop again.

5 EXT. HILLSIDE

Police cars line the wooded hillside path. Officers stand by roadblocks up the trail, blocking the way. Beyond them an intense glow emanates through the trees.

Ness comes up the trail and sees the police here. A friend of Ness's is also here, pestering the cops.

POKEY, 13-ish, is a bit taller and much wider than Ness. He's become a bit of a bully from years of parental abuse, but Ness still spends time with him.

POKEY

Come on! Just a peek! You know me, Mr. Officer Simmons! Just give me the scoop.

COP 1

No! Get out of here. Scram!

Pokey notices Ness and scrambles over to him.

POKEY

Ness! Buddy!

NESS

Pokey, what are you doing here?

POKEY

Listen. I'm glad you came. But the cops and I have the situation under control.

The cops perk up when they see Ness like a ray of hope.

COP 2

Ness, can you take care of this kid?

POKEY

We can't tell you what the glowing thing is right now, that's uh, classified information.

COP 1

We literally don't know what it is.

POKEY

I'll tell you all about the alien in the morning, when the uh press release comes out. But right now you're getting in the cops'- I mean, officers' way.

COP 1

It's not an alien.

NESS

Maybe we should both leave then... the police seem to be doing just fine without your help.

COP 2

Yes please!

POKEY

Oh no! I'm in charge here. Don't worry about me. You're bugging the officers, though. Look at them!

They turn to look at the cops, both very aggravated.

COP 2

Ness, help us out.

NESS

Pokey come here with me.

They turn their backs toward the officers.

POKEY

Yes, citizen?

NESS

What are you doing?

Pokey immediately drops his confident demeanor.

POKEY

I wanna see the meteorite! I'm this close to them letting me through.

Ness laughs.

NESS

Pokey, as long as the cops are here, we aren't getting near that. Let's come back some other time and nobody will be here to keep us out.

POKEY

That's... smart. This is why I keep you around, Ness! You always have the best ideas.

NESS

Glad I'm good for something.

The kids head down the hill. Ness turns back for a moment to look back at the hilltop. We get a few more seconds on the mysterious glowing object up the hill.

6 INT. LIVING ROOM

Ness enters, and his mom greets him.

MOM

Back so soon? What was it?

NESS

Something on the hill... It was so bright. The police beat me there so I couldn't get close, but Pokey and I are gonna check it out again later.

MOM

I think that's a wise choice. Night time is for sleeping.

NESS

Now that you mention it, I am pretty tired.

MOM

Good. Let's get you back to bed.

7 INT. NESS'S BEDROOM

Ness lays in bed, eyes open.

He turns to look at the glowing hilltop again.

Its aura is mysterious, yet inviting.

He rolls back over.

FADE TO BLACK

After a few moments, we hear an incessant knocking.

8 EXT. NESS'S FRONT PORCH

Mom opens the door and raises her eyebrows as Pokey, who we just now see was the one knocking, shouts in her face in a panic.

POKEY

Ness Ness Ness!!-- Oh. Good evening ma'am. You look lovely as usual.

Pokey holds back a snicker as Mom looks unamused.

MOM

Can I help you, Pokey?

POKEY

Is Ness in?

MOM

He's asleep, hopefully. I can take a message-

Ness comes down the stairs, just visible in his jammies through the doorway and with bags under his eyes.

NESS

Mom, what was that knocking-?

Pokey notices Ness and shoves his way into the house.

POKEY

Ness! The police left. Let's go check out the thing!

NESS

When I said later, I didn't mean two hours later. It's like 3 a.m.

POKEY

Okay but we have to go now.

NESS

Why?

POKEY

Uh... Picky ran away. I think he went up the hill. I need you to help me find him!

NESS

He's your brother, why can't you look for him yourself?

POKEY

It's not my fault! I blame the cops... Ness, if my dad gets back and his favorite son is gone, I know I'm gonna get it... Please, bestest friend, please?

Ness takes a moment to consider.

NESS

Okay. Let me get dressed.

POKEY

Yes! I knew I could count on you.

9 INT. LIVING ROOM

Ness comes through to the entryway where Pokey and Mom wait, back in his striped shirt and holding a baseball bat. Pokey stays out for a bit.

NESS

Alright I've got everything!

MOM

You're taking a bat?

NESS

Just in case.

MOM

Whatever you say.

Oh, and about Pokey... I know he's your friend, but he can still be kinda bossy. Don't let him push you around just because you've known each other for so long.

NESS

You know I can deal with Pokey. He's my closest friend but he's still a jerk. When he crosses the line, he'll know.

MOM

Good. Sometimes I worry about you.

King comes up and whines for Ness's attention.

KING

Ness, where are you going so late? Is this about that big boom earlier?

MOM

Oh. You should take King along with you too. He hasn't had a walk in days.

KING

No, no no. I don't want to do anything in the day, I DEFINITELY am not going anywhere at night.

NESS

Come on, King. It'll be real quick.

King whines in resignation.

POKEY

Okay, Ness! Ready to go? Let's blow this popsicle stand!

NESS

Let's go!

They head out.

10 EXT. HILLSIDE - NIGHT

Ness and Pokey search with flashlights down the hill from the scene earlier.

POKEY

Ok... You go on ahead. I'll follow you from a safe distance.

NESS

Pokey, there's nothing dangerous in Onett.

POKEY But there are... bears!

NESS

They haven't bothered us whenever we snuck out after dark before.

POKEY

I swear one almost attacked me on Eagle Day this year.

NESS

Are you sure that wasn't Lier in his bear suit? *snicker*

POKEY

*Chuckle* What's up with that guy, anyway?

NESS

Anyone who calls themself a professional treasure hunter has issues, man.

POKEY

Remember when we teepee'd his house?

NESS

Of course I do! He thought it was the Sharks, right?

PICKY

And then he started taking it all inside-

NESS

And he actually used it!

POKEY

He's crazy.

Their laughter takes a second to die off, leaving an uneasy chill in the air.

NESS

Maybe you're right though. Something feels off about tonight.

POKEY

Well there's the big glowing thing on the hill. Who knows what's next? This could just be the beginning.

NESS

Somehow I feel like it is.

King, in contrast, is panting on the incline.

KING

It feels like the end for me.

NESS

Come on King.

11 EXT. HILLTOP

PICKY, Pokey's intelligent but jumpy younger brother, lay sleeping by a tree...

Right next to the source of the bright glow. It is a meteorite, black with yellow fissures lining the surface and emitting the mysterious light. A massive crater of upheaven earth surrounds it, just missing the tree against which Picky lay.

The gang comes up the trail.

POKEY

Picky! Picky, where are you?

KING

I do not like the look of this place. Not one bit.

Ness stops to appreciate the meteorite.

NESS

So it was a meteorite...

Picky stirs and they spot him.

POKEY

There he is! Picky!

PICKY

Pokey? Why did you run off like that? I thought you were coming back.

POKEY

I- You don't know what you're talking about. You ran off! You're always like this. Ness, can you believe it? I'm a reasonable, responsible young man, and I'm stuck with watching this dumb, annoying, selfish little brother! Do you know what it's like to deal with someone like that?

Ness and Picky exchange glances in the awkward silence.

NESS

Let's go home, guys. We found Picky and we've all had enough commotion for one-

Ness is interrupted by a blinding flash of light from the meteorite, coupled with the sound of a sharp exhaust release.

They all jump away and duck for cover. King scampers around for a moment in a panic, then takes off running down the hill.

KING Okay, that's it! I'm outa here! If I knew it would be this scary I never would have come along in the first place!!

Now a beam of golden light pierces the sky from the meteorite, and widens to about a foot wide.

Ness stands back up and gazes in awe.

NESS

What on Earth...

POKEY God help! Oh my God! Oh my God...

A small black form emerges from the meteorite, slowly upward, mimicking an insect's movements.

This is BUZZ-BUZZ, a visitor from the future. He resembles a rhinoceros beetle with large fly wings.

NESS

Look!

PICKY

What is it?

Pokey dares a stolen look up.

POKEY

It's a bat!

NESS

It's a fly...

PICKY

It's a rhinoceros beetle!

BUZZ-BUZZ

A bee I am not!

The gang exchange glances.

PICKY

Well, that was my next guess.

#EarthBound #Mother 2 #Starmen.net #EarthBound: the Animated Series #Script #Story #Episode 1

9 notes · View notes

moonprincess92 · 7 years ago

Text

Tell me what you eat and I will tell you who you are

the food travel au

3 ½ month film schedule. 31 countries. 24 episodes.

2 people who might just fall in love along the way.

(read on AO3)

Chapter 1: London Author: @moonprincess92nz

It’s her first fucking day and she’s late.

“SHIT, SHIT, SHIT–” Jyn dodges through suitcases, around security guards and even leaps right over an empty bench at one point as she races throughout Heathrow Airport. She practically slams right through a holidaying family and nearly bowls into a couple of kids with giant backpacks on their backs, but nothing slows her down because if there is anything worse she can do than being goddamn late on her first day, she can’t think of it. Her rep is bad enough, she needs this job –

ARRIVALS, the sign blares.

Her poor battered suitcase screeching to a halt next to her, Jyn stops to stare around at the hordes of people pouring out of the arrivals gate. The production crew is flying in mostly from USA, she thinks she is one of maybe three people who are from the UK. They told her to meet at the airport, and she checks the email on her phone for the billionth time before scanning the crowd once more.

Finally, she catches a familiar face.

He isn’t so much familiar because she knows him, but rather because she may or may not have binge-watched Cassian Andor videos on YouTube for about eight hours the previous night. Thing is, Jyn honestly wouldn’t call herself a foodie. She knows how to scramble eggs and burn chicken nuggets, but that is about the extent of her cooking skills. Half the time she doesn’t know how she even ended up getting this job, but there she was balls deep in some popular Mexican cooking show because apparently, his face wasn’t so bad to look at. It was only when her roommate barged unceremoniously into her room at four in the morning to ask, “Don’t you have to be at the airport by like, 7am?” when she figured that she might have a bit of a problem.

(“Shut up, Bodhi,” she threw back at him).

Operating on as little sleep as she is, seeing Cassian Andor in person kind of makes her ovaries feel like exploding.

SHIT.

Luckily, before she says something and makes herself look ridiculous, it appears that someone notices her. She hastily says her name, and she’s pulled into the sea of formal introductions by who is apparently their production manager, Mon Mothma. Jyn has never been good at this part. Sometimes, she thinks that she chose the wrong profession entirely – she should be working in a lab or office, somewhere with as little human interaction as possible – but rather unfortunately, she’s chosen a profession where it’s impossible to get by without kissing arse and playing nice with others.

She’s learned over the years how to put on a polite mingling face, but Jesus, it takes it out of her.

“Hi! I’m Luke, the social media manager!” a bright-eyed blonde says.

“Wedge Antilles,” their sound engineer introduces. “Looking forward to working with you!”

“… Kes Dameron. Sorry, I haven’t had coffee yet,” It turns out their head of security is about as sociable as she is this early in the morning.

Honestly, she’s doing fine until suddenly she’s face to face with Cassian Andor and that’s about when it strikes her what she’s really gone and gotten herself into. She’s standing in front of an honest-to-god celebrity, here. She’s never worked on something on this large a scale in her life! It doesn’t help that there’s really something about his jawline as well, but either way she is a professional, goddamn it. She holds out her hand and says,

“Jyn.”

Cassian quirks an eyebrow.

“Is that… your favourite drink, or…?” he asks in confusion.

“What? Oh, bugger,” Jyn curses as he tentatively shakes her hand. “I don’t mean gin, I mean – it’s my name, Jyn with a J – and a y – apparently my parents hated me as a child,” She tops it off with a slightly awkward laugh.

God, she is bad at this.

“Oh. If it helps, I often get called Caspian whenever I go to Starbucks?” Cassian offers.

“Well, that was your first mistake going to Starbucks.”

“What’s wrong with Starbucks?”

“Talk about commercialisation!” Jyn points out. “Whatever happened to supporting your local businesses?”

Incredibly, he laughs. “I’m sorry, you’re the new camera operator, right?”

“Right, right – I was offered the job a little last minute.”

“Of course – Kay unfortunately got sick – that was the guy who was originally hired.”

“Ah, I see,” Jyn tries to lean casually on her suitcase. “I wasn’t given any details, just a contract and a place to meet – sucks to be him, amiright?”

Cassian frowns. “He’s my best friend.”

Jyn blinks. Of fucking course he was his best friend.

She just gestures vaguely behind her somewhere. “I’m gonna…” she says, weakly. He smiles politely back.

If it was at all appropriate for the setting she would be SCREAMING.

“… so all in all,” Jyn eventually says through Skype later that night. “within the first minute of us meeting, I convince him I’m an alcoholic, criticise him for going to bollocking Starbucks and also somehow manage to insult his best friend!”

Little Bodhi through the screen shakes his head. “Oh my god, Jyn…”

Oh my god, Jyn sounds about right. She snuggles down into the hotel bedsheets and is at least thankful that she’s on a production that can afford actual stars underneath their accommodation. The last time she had a job, she was put up in a student hostel, and she’s pretty sure she’s still washing fleas out of her hair to this day. Most of day one was dedicated to production meetings with only a few establishing shots being filmed that evening. After hours of listening to Mon Mothma drone on and on (3 ½ month film schedule, tight deadline, 31 countries, 24 episodes, etc., etc.) Jyn was thankfully able to clear her head down by the Thames. With only her and the essential crew, she was finally able to breathe as she captured her city by sunset.

She honestly doesn’t know what this job is really going to entail. The travelling she is relatively familiar with thanks to her job, but even then she technically hasn’t been out of the country since she was 16, and she mostly tries to forget her time with Saw anyway. She might not have had a family for a long time, but she’s at home here in London as much as she’s ever been. It’s the only place she’s ever felt truly safe, felt like she has ground beneath her feet and she’s a little (a lot) terrified to actually leave it.

But hell, bills need to be paid and a T.V. show needs to be filmed.

“What am I doing, Bodhi?” Jyn mutters underneath the blankets.

“I believe it’s called ‘flirting’,” Bodhi smirks back in their flat on the other side of the city. “and, if I might add, you’re not doing it very well.”

“Fuck you, mate.”

“Just calling it like it is.”

“Seriously,” Jyn stresses, then. “what am I doing here? I’m working on a travelling food show and I barely know how to cook!”

“You’re the camera operator, not the bloody caterer,” Bodhi says, exasperatedly. “I’m fairly certain you don’t need to know.”

“But–”

“Jyn, listen,” Bodhi cuts her off. “Lord knows I’d prefer to just wrap you up and bring you back home, but honey, you gotta stick with this, ok? No more flaking! You think you don’t fit in, fine – fake it until you do. Go get bloody lost in Germany or finally learn how to make pasta or something, I don’t care, just get out and do it, because we both know you’re not really living here.”

“I’m living!”

“You’re existing,” Bodhi sighed. “and I know your life has had its fucked up moments. I know. It sucks. But it’s time, Jyn.”

She snorts. “You know, when I called you it wasn’t for another therapy session. How much do I owe you this time?”

Her best friend rolls his eyes. “A lifetime of free pancakes.”

“You know I can’t make pancakes.”

“Lifetime supply of Jammy Dodgers, then.”

“That, I can do,” Jyn points at the screen.

Bodhi laughs, only it quickly turns into a violent yawn. “BLIMEY, I’m tired.”

“Yeah, yeah, I’ll take the hint,” Jyn smirks. “but, um, before you actually do go – on a scale of 1 to 10, exactly HOW bad was the flirting?”

“Minus 5,” Bodhi deadpans. “Don’t insult his friends next time.”

“Yeah,” Jyn grimaces. “I’ll do that.”

He grins. “Love you, Jyn.”

“Yeah. Love you, too.”

tellmewhatyoueatofficial check out that view! #tellmewhatyoueat #london #tower bridge #filming #cinematogropher #travel #sunsetwiththecrew #bts @jynserso

bodhitherook JYN BABE U MANAGED TO MAKE IT ONTO THE OFFICIAL INSTA ACCT

bodhitherook also how the fuck are u not wearing a jacket

tellmewhatyoueatofficial @bodhitherook i confess we might have asked her to take her jacket off for the #aesthetic

bodhitherook WHO RUNS THIS ACCOUNT JYN BC CLEARLY THESE PEOPLE ARE TRYIN TO KILL U IT’S OCTOBER

jynserso pfffft sun was out, was a solid 15 degrees that’s basically sunbathing weather

jynserso but still calling you out @walkstheskies his name is Luke Skywalker go stalk him

Jyn manages to corner Luke Skywalker in the hotel hallway.

“WHY ME,” she despairs. Her phone is open on the show’s official Instagram page, and it’s pretty clear what she’s talking about, although she quickly adds, “and before you say anything, I KNOW signing the contract means technically I consented to my image being used on multiple forms of social media, but still–”

Luke just shrugs happily.

“I belong behind a camera, not in front of it,” she protests.

“Hey,” Luke counters. “you look beautiful in that shot! Also, I should be the one complaining, after you sicced your best friend on me.”

“Oh good, Bodhi did his job then,” Jyn says. She steps out of the way hastily as several of their fellow crew members run down the hall between rooms, someone cheering something about shots in the background.

“He’s sent me about a dozen messages insisting that I look after you and treat you right,” he laughs. “Nice guy!”

Jyn just smirks slightly before eyeing down the hallway once more. It’s been two days, and their insane shooting schedule is already starting to hit them all. Quite frankly, none of them have any business still being awake at this time, but it was a long day and apparently they are all still so hyped that trying to sleep with the racket they’re making would be fruitless anyway.

“We should get out!” someone calls enthusiastically from one of the open rooms, and Jyn turns to see their lighting director’s face beaming when she notices her. Shara Bey dashes over and clings hold of her shoulder. “Hey! Where should we go?”

“What’re you looking at me for?” Jyn asks in bewilderment.

“Well, you’re the local girl,” Shara points out.

Jyn stares at the over-tired, wired and enthusiastic faces all staring back at her. They’ve all spilled out of their rooms, nodding and asking and between this and the Instagram post, Jyn isn’t sure she’s been on the receiving end of this much attention in her life. There’s a reason she stays behind the camera! She glances at Luke, although the man just shrugs at her in response.

“I’ve never been to London! Where do we get good food around here?” he asks.

Shit.

“Uhhhh... I know a place that sells killer fish and chips?”

“It’s an adventure and it’s happening - c’mon, guys!” Shara leads the way.

She ends up bringing them to The Cantina, of all places.

A fun fact to rattle off is that there are literally thousands of pubs throughout London, and somehow she always ends up here. Her and Bodhi almost haunt the place at this point. It’s objectively not the most popular in London nor even relatively famous, but in Jyn’s opinion it captures the very heart of British pub culture (you know, getting shit-faced and yelling about football). It’s kind of what the entire show they’re filming is supposed to be about, so… yeah, here they are. The place is always dark and a little shady, the music always slightly too loud and the lights slightly too piercing, but Jyn feels almost relaxed here.

“I moved back to London when I was 16,” she explains as they approach. Shara Bey has already filmed several snapchat videos of herself by this point and now seems to be flirting with the security guy. Most of their group is hanging onto her every word and she adds, “We’d come here on the weekends with our fake I.D.s and get hammered.”

“My kinda party,” Luke grins.

They all pile inside The Cantina, Jyn dutifully avoiding Cassian’s eyes. Honestly, she had no idea that he was even coming - did famous T.V. presenters even do that? - but someone called out to him just as they were walking out of the hotel doors to go catch a train and he dashed out to join them. After embarrassing herself so spectacularly, she figures the only way to handle tonight is the true British way: ignore all emotions and pretend everything is fine.

She notices a gap at the bar and she manages to quickly order two shots as everyone piles into the pub. She thought she had avoided all scrutiny as her colleagues get caught up in which drinks to order, but apparently nothing gets past the social media manager. Luke gives her a look of bemusement from over his shoulder and Jyn bites at him,

“What?”

“Steady on,” he says.

“Shut up,” Jyn accuses.

“You know, if you want to talk to him all you have to do is open your mouth and start saying words,” Luke says, slyly.

Jyn glares. “What d’you know? You know nothing.”

“I know that look! Trust me, I get it. I’m a huge fan too.”

Jyn finally meets his knowing gaze.

“You also watch three seasons in eight hours?”

“Without subtitles!” Luke nods. “My Spanish got a LOT better.”

“Stalk on Instagram?”

“I’m a social media manager,” Luke scoffs. “Raise me something actually valuable.”

“Imagine marrying someday?”

Luke laughs. “Jyn, we all know that he’s out of both our leagues, but with you… ehhhhh, there’s potential.”

“I’m sorry, EHHHHH?”

“I also said potential!”

Jyn was going to offer one of the shots to Luke, but with that statement, she keeps them both for herself. It’s true, she’s been filming this man for the last two days and she still technically hasn’t had any kind of one-on-one conversation with him that isn’t to do with camera angles. Besides the disastrous first attempt, that is. She isn’t even sure what’s stopping her at this point. It’s not like she’s kidding herself that something is going to happen – they’re on a schedule, they’re going to be travelling in a tight knit group for months without space to get away, and who even looks at her like that anymore? – so it’s not even the fact that he’s hot that makes her like this.

She’s just never done anything on this kind of scale before. These people all have established careers, been featured on Ellen, have followers on Twitter… this is the first time Jyn’s worked on a project where the director isn’t some uni student filming a sex scene in their parent’s garage. Bloody hell, what could she even say to him?

“Ok, look,” Luke sighs next to her. “exactly how many shots is this going to take? Because I will literally buy them all if it will get your ass over there.”

“I don’t know,” she says honestly. “but at least one more.”

tellmewhatyoueatofficial rumour has it that somewhere round here you can get some killer #fishnchips! @theofficialcantina #tellmewhatyoueat #bts #london #camden town #camden market #london pub #the cantina #filming #cinematogropher #travel

Her ass inevitably did not end up over there.

“Ok, we’re going for the casual ‘we’ve just stumbled upon this place’ feel,” Their director, Draven, is running backwards somewhere behind her, trying to keep up with the action as Cassian walks down the street. She’s aiming for the vision of him being in amongst the crowd, just one with London, which is kinda contradicted by the fact that they have blocked off one side of the entire stretch of street outside the restaurant they’re currently featuring and their security guy is letting through a controlled amount of people to walk through their shot. Still, she gets to watch Cassian stroll down the footpath with his hands in his pockets, contently gazing around the streets, so she’s probably got the good end of the deal, here. Voiceovers will be added in later, so literally all he has to do is walk and smile as Draven yells out direction.

“Ok! You reach Rebel Rebel,” he calls out. Cassian pretends that his eye is caught by the actually previously chosen restaurant, glancing up at it. She zooms in on his face.

Yes. Definitely has the best deal, here.

“CUT,” Draven yells. “Perfect, we’ll shoot it once more, then head on in.”

They take a break before moving into the restaurant to do more filming and she listens to Draven rave to their producer about how big they’re expecting their audience to be for this particular episode. She probably doesn’t try hard enough to hide her scoff, but she’s exhausted from being up until 2am that morning and still too pissed off at herself to care. Despite all of Luke’s encouragement, she still hadn’t managed to get herself over to the table where Cassian had been sitting. She had an opening and alcohol, and yet…

“Look, I’ve worked on this show before and I’m yelling you,” Luke nodded at Cassian last night. “He’s a good guy! He’s worth getting to know.”

She was sure he was. It was just getting to the point of knowing him that worried her. She glances bitterly up at Rebel Rebel. Honestly, of all fucking places in London, they just had to choose the most cliché.

“Why do you not like this place?”

She whirls around in a slight panic, heart practically leaping into her throat. Cassian’s watching her curiously, water bottle in hand and please Jyn, please remember what proper words are.

“Who – who says I don’t like it?”

“That expression on your face,” Cassian points out.

She’s almost impressed that he noticed. “Is filming going to be this forced the entire time?”

For a moment she isn’t sure if he’s going to give her a real or diplomatic answer. She supposes his job’s on the line, but just as that thought occurs he admits, “A lot of things are pre-shot filming this kind of show. It’s like reality T.V., we pretend it was all filmed on the spot when actually we planned the entire thing. But the food and the reactions, that’s going to be real. You can’t fake taste.”

“What if you don’t like something? Are we allowed to include that?”

“Usually depends on who I’m allowed to piss off,” he mentions.

“Well, I dunno who chose Rebel, Rebel, but this place sucks,” If he can figure it out from the look on her face, then there’s no point denying it. Jyn points out the restaurant that is technically one of London’s top places to eat. Recommended on Trip Advisor, stars and celebrities were known to dine there and even Jamie Oliver did a special there once, but as far as Jyn is concerned the entire place was overrated.

“How do you know that?”

“Like I couldn’t possibly know great food,” She winces a little at the tone. Blimey, she needs to work on not sounding so defensive.

“Show me,” Cassian suddenly challenges. “After filming today, take me to the good food.”

He can’t be serious. Surely he isn’t? They have a schedule, they have deadlines, they can’t just go bloody rogue! Yes, fine, she does have somewhere in mind. She might consider wine and a can of tinned soup a decent meal, but that doesn’t mean she can’t recognise great food when she sees it. The memories suddenly hit her, of meat sizzling, of swinging on vinyl chairs and knives clinking against plates. She remembers being allowed to stand on a stool behind the counter to take customer’s money and running through the kitchens trying not to get caught by the chefs. Whenever she hears classical music she’s taken back and they’re literally only around the corner, but…

It’s a stupid idea.

She shrugs. “I think Draven’s gonna burst a blood vessel if we don’t get back to it.”

JUST TAKE HIM TO THE FUCKING RESTAURANT JYN DO IT DOOOOOO IIIIITTTTTTT

FKJDJFKJDFJKFJKDF KILL ME Also are u still harassing luke to be nice to me bc honestly bodhi

Im just lookin out for mah gurl Also turns out he’s kinda funny so But not the point, just take him Jyn seriously

But it’s such a personal place and we barely know each other

Don’t make it about you then. Just say u know a place that’s better, bring ur camera and film the magic. Oooooh, get baze to make his special, that shit is GOOD Plus this way you’ll get to know each other eeeyyyyy

I’m going to regret this

No u wont

It eats at her, until eventually Bodhi manages to make her snap. Damn it, it will not leave her alone and apparently, her way of asking people out these days is just turning up at their hotel room door and demanding them to come with her, since the moment Cassian answers her slightly too hard knock on his door she blurts out,

“Get your coat on, we’re going somewhere.”

Cassian blinks slightly, but seems entirely non-phased as he ducks to the side to grab a jacket and follows her out the door. “Where are we going?”

“To the good food.”

It’s a bit far to walk and she’s still not used to the T.V. glamour of being able to take taxis everywhere, so she drags him out into the cool, drizzly evening and onto the tube. Taking the Piccadilly Line into Covent Garden, the night is fresh and just starting to buzz when they climb up into the street. She wasn’t going to get her camera out until they reached Lahmu, but the side street they cut down is strung up with multi-coloured lanterns and his face is honestly too good to not try and capture.

“To be honest, I’m not entirely sure if we’re even allowed to do this,” Jyn admits, as she points out the way. “Like, filming outside of scheduled shooting. Have I just violated my contract or something?”

“Depends if Draven likes what he sees,” Cassian answers her.

“I’ll delete it later, then,” Jyn says, walking sideways as she filmed and hoping that nothing got in her way lest she accidentally go flying. “No one has to know a thing. And if you talk, I’ll kill you.”

He laughs a little into the camera. “I’m starting to think I wouldn’t put it past you.”

“But anyway, welcome to Covent Garden again,” she makes a deal out of saying, ensuring that she can still see his face through her lens. He pauses under a lamp post and thankfully, no one seems to recognise them in the dark and without the addition of an entire film crew. To someone else, they could literally be any random YouTube vloggers or something. “Naturally, this damn show only brings you to the touristy side of London, but there are some admittedly great places to eat in this area. Not fucking Rebel, Rebel though, I mean shit that’s actually edible.”

“We might want to edit that last part out.”

“Yeah, post can handle that,” She would wave a hand if she had one to spare. “Tell me, superstar Cassian Andor, how are you enjoying London so far?”

He smiles a little against the backdrop of lit restaurants. “It’s cold.”

“Of course it’s cold, it’s fucking England.”

“But it’s exciting,” he adds. “There’s so much history here, buildings that have been around for hundreds of years… it’s great to see.”

“You’re supposed to say you love the food, stop going off script.”

“Sorry – I love the food.”

“Good,” she says. “because if you don’t love where we’re going, then I’ll buy the next round of drinks.”

“Where exactly ARE we going?”

She points across the street and she films him turning and seeing the lit up sign of Lahmu. Owned for the last fifteen years by Baze and Chirrut Malbus-Îmwe, it’s known for its wildly eccentric yet still somehow delicious menu. Jyn leads Cassian there, waving to the matire’d on their way in and asking if Baze is around.

“You’re a regular?” Cassian asks.

“Kind of,” Jyn hedges. “it’s weird to explain.”

She doesn’t rest until they find Baze in the kitchen, the co-owner and chef shaking Cassian’s hand vigorously like any person who was vaguely familiar with food would. Jyn keeps the camera rolling the entire time until finally, he tries Baze’s famous Secret Special and the unearthly sounds that come out of his mouth Jyn deems a little too inappropriate for their G-rated show.

“This is fucking amazing,” he practically moans.

“I’m glad,” Baze says warmly as Jyn hastily cuts the recording.

“And you seriously won’t tell me what kind of meat this is?”

“Of course not, that’s the secret part.”

“It’s not going to have me arrested, right?”

“No. Well… I don’t think so, at least.”

Cassian just shrugs. “Good enough for me.”

Carefully working on packing the camera away in the bag she has strung around her neck, Cassian continues to enthusiastically shovel whatever mystery meat it is into his mouth. Over by the kitchen bench, Baze leans in and squeezes her shoulder.

“So can I expect to actually get on T.V. here, or not?” he asks in undertone.

“Probably not,” she admits.

“Ah, well. It was a nice idea while it lasted,” Baze sighs, gruffly.

“You guys are still doing well, right?” Jyn asks, casually.

“Stop worrying. We’re fine,” Baze shoots her a look. “Exposure never hurts, however.”

“Just let Cassian tweet about this place,” Jyn points out. “You’ll have people coming in hordes.”

Cassian cuts in to scoff, “I’m not THAT popular.”

“When you have a follower count with 5 digits or more, you’re considered popular, mate.”

Cassian protests, but honestly they’re mostly silent after that as he apparently just savours the flavours Jyn knows have to be hitting his tongue. She realises at one point that she’s closed her eyes and she hastily snaps them open because Jesus, Jyn, get a grip, she can listen to the boiling soup and scraping of pots without looking weird about it. It’s only when Baze moves away to carry on directing his kitchen, however, when she finally says,

“Look. I think we got off on the wrong foot when we first met,” she says. “I swear I usually know how to talk to people normally. I’m a big fan?”

Thankfully, he laughs and she lets out a slow breath of relief. “I’m honoured.”

“No really,” Jyn points out. “I don’t even speak Spanish, and I watched all three seasons of your last show.”

“That’s dedication.”

“Sorry again.”

“Hey,” he shakes his head. “It’s fine – I’m a big fan of yours too.”

“Piss off,” Jyn says before she even stops to think whether that might offend him or not. “I film obscure niche documentaries and indie films that lose money rather than make money, there’s no way you like any of that shit.”

“No really, I looked you up when we knew you were coming,” Cassian points out. “Or, ok, Kay sort of insisted that we look you up, he was feeling a bit territorial. But we watched a little of that one documentary you did on the abandoned insane asylum?”

“Oh god,” Jyn shivers. “that place was creepy as all fuckin’ hell. I had nightmares for weeks.”

“But the camera work was beautiful! Wait, exactly how creepy?”

“I’m pretty sure that one of the film crew got possessed.”

“You’re not serious?”

And it’s weird, but he finishes his Secret Special and she tells the quite frankly terrifying story of when one of her crew members had gone a little nutty and claimed that they were having visions of dead people and it kind of… goes well. Her heart is still pounding, but they’re finally talking. It at least makes her feel a little more grounded, a little more like she actually fits into this project that until this point made her feel like she was just floundering under water. This isn’t another weird documentary about haunted buildings, this is something that will eventually air on prime time British television…

“So how did you end up as a T.V. presenter, of all things?” Jyn asks once his plate is scraped clean.

“I started in regular journalism. Believe it or not, but I’m not the best cook.”

“Shut the hell up,” Jyn insists.

“No really,” Cassian says, earnestly. “I can appreciate good food, but I still cannot make anything like my mother can.”

“Well, I burn toast so together, we’ve got this show covered.”

“Thank God, I was starting to worry.”

She laughs. Fucking laughs. But he’s laughing too, so she hopes it’s ok and he asks her then, “How did you get into camera work?”

“The professional answer is that I have always appreciated the entire filmography of whoever happens to be employing me at the time,” Jyn says. “The real answer is that I was running out of time to pick an elective at uni and I chose this random media studies paper on a whim.”

“So we pretty much started in the same place.”

“I guess, yeah,” It’s hard to imagine herself having literally anything in common with the celebrity, but what the hell does she know in the end? They’re quiet for a moment, Cassian moving to wash his own plate and Jyn pretending that she isn’t watching. It’s only when he’s finished and everything is put away when he turns back to her and says,

“So what’s the story?”

“Sorry?”

“The story,” he reiterates and Jyn’s chest thuds painfully. “about why this place. Don’t try and tell me there isn’t a story.”

It’s true, there is one. And she honestly wasn’t sure whether she was going to say it when she first brought him in here, but there’s something that makes her want to say it now. She takes a deep breath and answers,

“My father used to own it.”

He nods, but doesn’t say anything else. He waits, clearly willing to let her talk when she’s ready, and she eventually sighs in exasperation. “Fine, my father owned it and it’s how he met my mother,” she adds on. “I practically grew up here, but they died and it got sold when I was eight and it’s never felt exactly the same since. I guess I still try sometimes, though.”

It’s a very glossed over version of the story, but it will do for now. He nods in understanding before gesturing to her camera once more. “Do you mind?”

She frowns. “What do you want to film?”

“I have an idea – just roll with it?”

She humours him, once again pulling out the camera. She’s at least thankful that the kitchen lights are kind of perfect for filming as she sets it on top of an upturned saucepot in lieu of a tripod. She prompts, “What are you thinking?” and Cassian looks up right at her through the lens.

Blimey.

“We’re going to be taking Europe by storm, right?” he says, and she almost thinks his words aren’t even intended for the camera. “The idea is that we experience multiple cultures and different kinds of foods, but I love that there’s one thing that seems to be universal. No matter where you are in the world, food has this ability to connect things. We associate food with the places we come from, certain celebrations, smell with memories, a restaurant with home…” Her heart is definitely somewhere up around her throat and he smiles at her. “and that’s pretty awesome.”

tellmewhatyoueatofficial rumour has it if you order the #SecretSpecial you’ll become a changed person! #tellmewhatyoueat #restaurant #food #filming #locations #london #covent garden #bts @lahmurestaurant

k-lara7 omg I love this place!!!!

yavemiel @ pingou7 we are so going here next time you come visit me

bodhitherook I had no idea they were filming here @jynserso??????

doptimous Definitely would recommend @lahmurestaurant. The owners are so nice, you’re never waiting long and it’s honestly a great experience every time we go.

In the end, Draven loves their side project so much that it turns into his idea.

They were all supposed to be on a flight to Cardiff at this point, but the network has apparently let them delay by twelve hours to allow them to shoot additional footage and anything that gets her favourite restaurant exposure is fine with Jyn. But despite their filming obviously fake candid shots outside the restaurant, Draven’s admitted that there’s a lot of charm in the real candid-ness of what they filmed the previous night and hopefully, a lot of their original footage will end up being used in the final cuts.

“I’m going to miss London!” Luke says cheerfully as they wait at the airport. Definitely not a big enough production for a private jet, they get a few looks waiting amongst everyone else but luckily at 4am not many people care all that much about the moderately famous food show host and crew. Jyn is attempting to sleep in her cold, plastic chair but it’s kind of hard when Luke won’t stop chatting.

“Do you ever stop?” she asks.

“What do you mean?”

“Never mind,” she mutters. She gets up and leaves Luke to his cheerful trawling through Twitter and notices Cassian slumped down near the phone charging station. With his hoodie pulled over his eyes it’s difficult to tell if he’s awake or not, but he stirs when she sits down next to him.

“Naturally the network couldn’t wait for tomorrow and literally had to book us on the next flight to Cardiff,” she says. “Who the hell even flies to Cardiff at this time in the morning?”

“Right?” he smiles a little. Then, after pausing he adds, “Hey, um… I’m sorry if I stepped over a line or something before. When we were filming at Lahmu. I know you didn’t really intend on it being a part of the show and it got kinda personal so I just wanted to make sure you’re…”

“It’s ok,” Jyn says softly.

She isn’t sure what it is. It’s 4am in an airport, it’s one of those liminal spaces where time stops existing and only vacant expressions and stress endures. But she turns to glance over at him and he’s looking at her and shitballs, her stomach twists itself inside out. She still doesn’t know what to expect from this entire project and she certainly doesn’t expect anything ever from him, but a part of her is really, really pissed off to know that they have to part ways at the end of all this.

But then again also, they have 30 more countries to go.

Finally, the announcer is declaring that their flight is beginning boarding. All around, tired people stand and yawn, stretching and picking up suitcases and rousing sleeping children. Cassian sighs before pushing back his hood and giving her a determined look.

“Let’s go to Wales,” he says.

“Let’s go to Wales,” Jyn agrees.

---

#rebelcaptain #rebelcaptain fanfic #dailyrebelcaptain #rebelcaptain food travel au #food travel au #chapter 1 #WHAT UP BTICHES I FINALLY DID IT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!#JADED THIS IS FOR YOU #i honestly hope yall like this pls reblog me i love yall xoxoxo #my fanfiction

123 notes · View notes

some-triangles · 7 years ago

Text

OH RIGHT

I enjoyed a lot of podcasts this year

1. The Bugle

The joy of the Bugle this year was discovering who did and didn’t work in the rotating cohost spot; happily I feel like the best of the new folks are significantly better at the job of managing/coping with a pun-based satirical podcast led by Your Wacky Dad than John Oliver was, and also happily made my podcast feed less straight, white, and male, which is sorely needed at this point. The stories Anuvab Pal brings in from India alone make him a strong MVP candidate. (I think he’s also the best pure comic they have.) In the end though I have to give the nod to Alice Fraser, who does what nobody else can: she’s capable of breaking Zaltzman’s momentum. It’s a thing of beauty that this invulnerably pointless man has met his match in an extremely rude Australian woman who will happily match him pun for pun.

2. Crime In Sports

This is a true crime podcast where two basic white dude comedians you’ve never heard of tell the life stories of professional athletes who end up in jail - stories which inevitably bring up issues of race, class and mental illness - and I will tell you that they do okay with that stuff, not perfect, but okay, and that exceeded my expectations to the point where I ended up listening to enough of it to start to care about these mooks and their in-jokes and their running gags, and again, I seem to have a soft spot for dumb guys who are doing their best, and I probably got more laughs out of this thing than any other podcast I listened to this year. Your mileage will probably vary.

3. Nancy

WNYC’s Gay Podcast, hosted by two Asian urban millennials who in their cohosting rapport demonstrate and embody WLW/MLM solidarity at all times. It’s exactingly correct about things and is what I listen to after Crime in Sports to detox. It’s also pretty good journalism, if you’re a fan of/can stomach the studiedly casual bespectacled “umm”-ing modern NPR vibe which has become de rigeur with this kind of thing. The episode where a younger butch woman finds the older butch woman who gave her her “ring of keys” moment and tells her what she meant to her will make your heart explode.

4. The Adam Buxton Podcast

OK, Zaltzman isn’t really your wacky dad - he’s more your weird uncle. Adam Buxton is absolutely 100% your wacky dad, and he’s trying his best. He’s the middle aged guy who asks dumb questions about race and gender because he genuinely wants to understand - the aging hipster who took being right on for granted and is gamely trying to keep up as the world shifts around him. He’s kind of like Marc Maron in that respect, and in a number of others; the podcast follows the same basic format as WTF, and Buxton is the same kind of insecure overcompensating former cool kid that Maron is, except replace the aggression and Jewish neurosis with the deeply repressed performative childishness of an English public schoolboy. Reading back I have failed entirely to make this seem enticing, so let me highlight the bit of this that works; Buxton starts every podcast with a walk through the countryside with his dog, who he talks to sometimes. Buxton is cozy. If you like the Maron idea but don’t like all the personal abrasiveness, this one may be for you.

5. Killing the Town with Storm and Cyrus

To explain this podcast I am going to have to tell you a story.

The first thing that you have to know is that Calgary is generally considered to be the capital of Canadian professional wrestling, because the Hart family is from there, and Bret Hart is the most famous Canadian wrestler of all time. But: earlier this year a tweet made its way around wrestling social media suggesting that Winnipeg should actually be considered the wrestling heart of Canada, because while Calgary might have given us Bret and Owen and Lance Storm, Winnipeg gave us Chris Jericho, Kenny Omega and Cyrus.

To which even hardcore wrestling fans might reply: who the hell is Cyrus?

It turns out that Don “Cyrus” Callis, AKA the Jackyl, was a) responsible for the tweet and b) a complete nobody who was on TV for a cup of coffee in the late 90s and hadn’t been seen since. The closest he came to mainstream success was as the manager of a justly-forgotten WWF heel faction called the Truth Commission, a group of pro-Apartheid afrikaaner militiamen. (1996 was a very, very bad year for professional wrestling.) He almost became the manager of a group called the Acolytes, who were at least kind of a big deal during the attitude era, but after his first TV appearance with them (in which he got on the mic and shouted “VIOLENCE TURNS ME ON”) he was fired. He bounced around ECW and TNA and that was it.

Cyrus had also just started a podcast with Lance Storm, on which he claimed to the best talker the business had ever seen, among other things. It became clear to listeners that while he may not ever have caught the brass ring, he was a wrestler to his core - i.e., a bullshit artist, a carny and a fraud - and that he had paid his dues working shit matches in the middle of nowhere Canada when he was a kid, and was now happy to spend a seedy retirement bullshitting with his friend Lance and pretending to be a forgotten legend.

Except things kept happening for Cyrus. Piggybacking on that tweet and the imaginary Calgary/Winnipeg feud, he became a public champion of Kenny Omega, the hottest name in pro wresting outside of WWE, and a man who didn’t have a lot of supporters among the old guard. Omega met up with Cyrus because of this (it turns out Cyrus’ old manager the Golden Shiek was Kenny’s uncle!), and put in a good word with his bosses at New Japan - and suddenly Cyrus became one half of NJPW’s English commentary team. (This improved their commentary immensely, to the point where the wrestlers complained when NJPW used Jim Ross for their American special.) Callis then used his position to broker the hottest wrestling angle of the latter half of 2017 - he approached Chris Jericho with the idea of wrestling Omega in Japan, Jericho’s first match outside of WWE in decades - and managed to get himself in the ring when the angle played out, getting laid out by Jericho as he tried to defend Omega, his friend and meal ticket.

It was then announced that Cyrus had been hired to be a new Vice President of TNA/Impact Wrestling (in its umpteenth rebranding and reshuffle of the year.) In this capacity he will be co-booker for the whole promotion. As of this writing he has yet to be forced out.

So: in a way this podcast itself is the wrestling story of the year. It’s also pretty entertaining, albeit absolutely saturated with ads, as one might expect from a pair of born grifters. Lance Storm is a smart dude with mostly good opinions and fun delivery and Cyrus is a lovable scumbag. They do their share of complaining about how young wrestlers these days don’t know how to throw a punch but because Cyrus is obligated to defend Omega at every turn they can’t drop too far into old coot territory, and because Storm trained several of the current new crop of wrestling women he is at pains to put over women’s wrestling whenever he can, even as Cyrus is a poop about it. They get people on to interview who you’ve never heard of but who were allegedly legendary to someone at some point in some territory or other and who all have insane stories, some of which might even be true. It’s a fine time, and if current trends continue Cyrus will be WWE head of developmental by this time next year, so stay tuned.

#long post #besto 2017 #the story of how don callis bullshitted his way back into relevancy

15 notes · View notes

soybeansoyul · 7 years ago

Text

complete. | jinhwi

pairings: jinhwi, panwink, minhwan, ongniel

summary: jinyoung needs someone to fill the void in him. he’s also looking for a new housemate. and some money.

warnings: idk swearing?

chapters: 1/2

cross-posted from aff, ao3 and wattpad.

jinyoung groans as he looks at his tuition bills. he still has more envelopes laying on the kitchen counter. more bills, probably. "fuck you, park jihoon," jinyoung mutters as he opens another envelope.

he rolls his eyes at how his best friend had moved out of their shared apartment just to live with his boyfriend of 3 years - an extremely tall taiwanese boy named guanlin.

boyfriend.

jinyoung whips out his phone to make a google search.

is it normal if ive never dated anyone and im like 20?

he skims through the search results and puts his phone down.

bjy @baejin

YALL its comfirmed im dying alone im gonna b single 4 lyfe !!11!

bjy @baejin

jk im not lonely or desperate i just need money

bjy @baejin

if u wanna sponsor ur boy's tuition pls hmu !

woojin @nationsdarkpast

@baejin if jaehwan-hyung could find someone u can too! WOOOO

sungwoon is shaking @kingjaehwan

@baejin @nationsdarkpast THE FUCK IS THAT SUPPOSED TO MEAN ???

an idea pops into jinyoung's head. he heads to his bedroom and grabs his laptop.

jinyoung plugs out one of his earphones and turns to glare at the couple sitting behind him.

bjy @baejin

who in the fuck holds hands while studying?? its a damn library get out if ur gonna hanky panky and not study ffs

minhyun @optimushwang

And here we have another episode of Angsty Teen

it was sejeong and doyoung - the presidents of choir. the two seniors had heavenly voices and they were one of the sweetest couples on campus. jinyoung just didn't appreciate having to hear their "haha i love you" "no i love you more!" debate while he was trying to finish his essay.

"why so glum?" he looks up to see daniel, along with seongwoo and jisung. "i'm not, i'm just annoyed at the PDA," jinyoung replies, and continues to type away at his laptop. "by the way, hi hyungs,"

"how have you been? you seem really stressed out lately," jisung asks, concerned. "i'm fine. just broke." jinyoung's eyes don't leave his laptop.

"you're renting out your apartment, right?" seongwoo asks, sipping his coffee. "jihoon replacement?" "yup. and nah, i just need the money."

daniel looks over at seongwoo before speaking. "actually, i have a friend who's interested in moving in," daniel says. jinyoung's eyes instantly light up. "really?"

daniel nods. "do you want his number?" "yes, please!" the trio swears they haven't seen jinyoung so happy in a while. "thank you, daniel!"

baejin: hey, daehwi right?

maguhwi: yep!

baejin: u wanna come over to see the place and stuff? we can discuss afterwards if ur keen

maguhwi: sure ^^

baejin: [address attached]

maguhwi: thanks! see you tomorrow at 4?

baejin: see u :-)

jinyoung opens the door, only to be greeted by the most adorable boy he's ever seen.

you just met him, jinyoung, don't hoe around-

"hi! i'm daehwi, nice to meet you!" the blonde bows, and jinyoung does the same. "i'm jinyoung, nice to meet you too," daehwi was a little shorter than jinyoung, and he had uneven eyelids. jinyoung thought that was cute.

"so, how old are you?" jinyoung starts, waiting for daehwi to step into the apartment. "19."

"oh, i'm 20." daehwi hums in response, and the taller of the two shows him around.

it's daehwi's first day living with jinyoung, and jinyoung wakes up to daehwi gently shaking him.

"dude, what the fu-"

"i made breakfast, jinyoungie!" daehwi smiles, and jinyoung has question marks floating around in his head.

jinyoungie?

"whoa, how do you look so handsome even when you just woke up?" jinyoung nearly chokes on his own saliva, but somehow manages to shapen up anyway. this beautiful stranger he was now sharing his apartment with - made him breakfast and called him handsome? he snaps out of his daze when daehwi grabs his arm and drags him to the kitchen.

if jinyoung had to name one thing he had learnt about daehwi over the course of 2 weeks - was that the smaller boy was exceptionally clingy. oh, and adorable too.

jinyoung doesn't know how he ended up with daehwi in his lap, leaning against his chest on their couch, watching movies. it was a friday night and neither of the two had plans to leave the house. by the 2nd movie, jinyoung was already sound asleep.

be wakes up at 4am to make a trip to the bathroom - he realises he's in his bed, which is definitely not where he fell asleep. he pokes his head out of his door, and daehwi is still there, wide awake, onto the 4th movie already.

the taller boy is secretly envious of the latter - daehwi didn't go to school. when questioned, he simply said he was taking a year's break to "realize stuff". daehwi could pull all-nighters and do practically anything he wanted, while jinyoung was a (not-so-anymore) broke college student struggling to keep his eyes open in class.

once again, jinyoung doesn't know how, but daehwi somehow ended up being his best friend. the boy was similar to him in a way that they both rarely left the house. as much as jinyoung hated to admit it, he was a sucker for skinship ; and he's always wanted to have someone to hug to sleep. he now does have someone - daehwi. his heart feels like it's about to explode sometimes - he doesn't know what this feeling is. is this love?

friends share the same bed although they have their own rooms, friends kiss each other on the cheek, friends cuddle, friends shower together, right? this, this is all platonic, right?

"hyung, are you single?" the blonde boy currently straddling jinyoung asks. jinyoung nearly chokes on his coffee.

"yeah."

"you've never had a boyfriend?"

"yeah. never."

"but hyung, you're so handsome. and you're so lovely," jinyoung snickers, and shakes his head.

"no! hyung, you're the best-"

jinyoung doesn't know when the younger's lips had looked so plump and soft, but he quickly learns that he posesses zero self-control when he cups daehwi's face and leans forward to kiss him. he thinks he's going crazy - his heart has never pounded so fast before.

"no, daehwi-yah, it's not what you think it is-"

"yeah, staying up late just to wait for you to come home, only to see you drunk with some woman at the club? right." daehwi spat, anger brazen on his face. "

she's just a friend, hwi," jinyoung sighs, head in his hands. it was true - he was just drinking with the president of his club.

"whatever, go spend more time with your friend, then. we've been together for a year and a half now, i can't believe you'd pull this shit on me," daehwi's furious, and storms out the door before jinyoung can even stop him.

shit. there i go, fucking up everything once again.

niel: wtf happened

baejin: i dont fucking know ok i fucked shit up

niel: :( daehwi's w me and ong rn

baejin: take care of him

baejin: sorry

baejin: i always mess up

"hyung? i'm so, i don't like seeing jinyoung with other people! i don't feel good!" daehwi screams, startling the couple, who were sitting on the couch.

"jealousy? anger?" daniel looks at his boyfriend, confused.

"how in the fuck-"

jinyoung swears to never let daehwi go so easily again. he's glad he has the smaller boy back in his arms. he falls asleep with the latter as his teddy bear. he's been told by others that he seems a lot happier now - and jinyoung thinks it's true. daehwi is the epitome of perfection, it's as if his hands were made for jinyoung ; and jinyoung only. his first love - and his first kiss, his first time holding hands with someone else. jinyoung always felt empty, but with daehwi, he felt complete. jinyoung hopes he never loses him.

jinyoung learns that good things don't last forever when he finds daehwi, laying on the living room floor, pale, eyes shut, with no sign of life whatsoever.

“daehwi, can you hear hyung? yah, daehwi!" jinyoung shakes him, and he freezes once he hits the cold, hard reality - daehwi's heart isn't beating.

"daehwi, don't scare hyung! it isn't funny!" he shakes him once again, using his phone to call for an ambulance.

"doctor, is he okay?" jinyoung stands up when the doors burst open.

"kid, is this a prank?" the doctor, dongho, according to his nametag, asks.

"what?" jinyoung shakes his head in disbelief.

"why would you bring a robot to a hospital?"

"what? he's my boyf-"

"kid, he's a robot. do we have to unscrew all of this mechanism to prove it to you?" dongho raises an eyebrow.

jinyoung's hair is all messed up, his eyes are puffy and tears are falling from them. he can't believe what's happening.

"he's human - his heartbeat stopped just now, doctor, just help him!"

"he never had a heartbeat. he's a robot."

jinyoung cries even harder, when jisung and minhyun drag him away to the carpark of the hospital. his 7 other friends are waiting for him there.

"you, you knew all along, right?" jinyoung storms up to daniel and grabs him by the collar. "yeah, i knew. we just wanted to help you, jinyoung-" he stutters and minhyun has to step in before jinyoung can throw a punch at daniel.

"all of you knew, too? you all knew he wasn't human?" jinyoung screams, and the 9 nod their head in shame.

"so is this what your fucking shady ass company is about?" he glares at seongwoo and daniel, voice all hoarse, the two looking the most guilty out of all of the boys.

"jinyoung, let us explain," seongwoo puts a hand on jinyoung's shoulder, but jinyoung slaps it away.

"don't talk to me." and with that, jinyoung leaves.

he can't believe it - daehwi, his first love, the one that completed him ; was just a robot. jinyoung laughs bitterly as he walks down the street.

he knew things were too good to be true. who would fall in love with him, anyway?

a/n im so sorry for what ive done

inspo credits go to @/leedaehwi on ao3 for the social media au part!!

#jinhwi #deephwi #produce 101 #wanna one #wanna one imagines #wanna one scenarios #jinhwi scenarios #jinhwi imagines #bae jinyoung #lee daehwi #daehwi scenarios #daehwi imagines #bae jinyoung scenarios #bae jinyoung imagines #panwink #ongniel #minhwan

21 notes · View notes

yooka-kazooie · 5 years ago

Text

liveblog of me watching the sonic movie courtesy of me yell-typing at my friend on discord

#long post #spoilers

6:48 PM] Me: well guess I'm gonna rent it on cable [6:50 PM] Me: ok so far the cc works [6:50 PM] Me: which is good news on optimum [6:50 PM] Friend: good [6:50 PM] Me: upp spoke too soon [6:50 PM] Me: where did the cc go [6:51 PM] Me: first the sound didn't work and now the cc goes I keep having to close the movie and resume [6:51 PM] Me: I already dont know this owl character [6:51 PM] Me: like I'm not a HUGE fan of sonic but who is she [6:51 PM] Friend: I don't think she was in the games [6:52 PM] Friend: just an owl who adopted sonic [6:52 PM] Me: oh no is she from the original archie comics [6:52 PM] Me: I've also never seen sonic younger than like 15 [6:52 PM] Friend: no idea [6:52 PM] Me: were those echidnas [6:53 PM] Friend: the old sonic show (the good one) had an episode where sonic goes back in time and meets himself as a kid [6:53 PM] Me: oh good he's a cop good /s [6:53 PM] Me: the urkel one? [6:53 PM] Friend: yeah echidnas [6:53 PM] Friend: yeah [6:53 PM] Friend: there were two urkel ones [6:54 PM] Friend: aired at the same time [6:54 PM] Friend: or same year [6:54 PM] Me: he was in both of them??? [6:54 PM] Friend: yep [6:54 PM] Me: I never watched the "good one" [6:54 PM] Me: sat am? [6:54 PM] Friend: yeah [6:54 PM] Me: yeah I literally never saw it [6:54 PM] Friend: I think [6:54 PM] Me: til Nostalgia Critic [6:57 PM] Me: did crazy carl's drawing look like sanic I can't rewind with ondemand [6:58 PM] Friend: yes it did [7:05 PM] Me: whoops sonic emp [7:07 PM] Me: I assume these old people are describing eggman [7:07 PM] Me: so eggman is human [7:08 PM] friend: yeah [7:10 PM] Me: whos stone [7:10 PM] Me: like did Eggman need a human y.. [7:10 PM] Me: wait is he a robot [7:10 PM] Me: "a human yesman" is what I was going to say [7:10 PM] Me: it seems weird to me that he'd pay a human yesman instead of building a robot yesman [7:11 PM] friend: to be fair he has a human yesman in that old show too [7:11 PM] Me: the show I didnt watch? [7:11 PM] friend: yeah [7:11 PM] Me: I watched the pumpkin show [7:11 PM] Me: and sonic boom cartoon [7:12 PM] Me: and I played sonic adventure 2 [7:12 PM] Me: and sonic 06 [7:13 PM] Me: I'm just letting you know what I know [7:13 PM] Me: what sonic media I've consumed [7:13 PM] Me: I never played the 2D games [7:13 PM] Me: never saw Sonic Sat Am [7:14 PM] Me: uhh meow [7:14 PM] Me: oh neat I didn't know that's how the rings would work [7:14 PM] Friend: lol nice to know where you are in the movie [7:15 PM] Me: donut lord shouldn't be so confused this is at least his second time finding a small talking furry animal-like creature [7:15 PM] Me: I'm sorry but the fact that this dude had the same role in hop is hilarious [7:15 PM] Me: how do you get typecast like that [7:16 PM] Me: "where are the mushrooms and why am I still on earth" is a mood [7:16 PM] Me: his eyes are cool looking [7:16 PM] Me: I can't remember what the old design looked like and I'm scared to look it up [7:17 PM] Me: did I tell you someone proved that it wasn't a stunt and that was the actual real design [7:17 PM] friend: someone told me that [7:17 PM] Me: because they found the merch they were making and they actually made some with the old design [7:17 PM] Me: that was intentional [7:18 PM] Me: oh I like those videogame control gloves [7:18 PM] Me: they need to make those for VR [7:21 PM] Me: raccoons are so cute [7:21 PM] Me: I want one for a pet [7:23 PM] Me: no I'm calling it, Stone is secretly a robot [7:25 PM] Me: the more he says mushroom planet the more I realize it's a nintendo joke [7:25 PM] Me: the mushroom planet has to be the mushroom kingdom [7:25 PM] Me: he doesn't want to go where mario lives [7:26 PM] Me: now I want mushrooms (food) [7:26 PM] Friend: every time he talks about the mushroom planet I want them to make a nintendo cinematic universe [7:26 PM] Me: man Sonic's individual quills look weird? [7:27 PM] Me: whenever I focus on them [7:27 PM] Me: not that bad but it's weird [7:28 PM] Friend: the ones still on his body? I know the one not on his body was never changed [7:28 PM] Me: yeah the ones on him [7:28 PM] Me: it's fine looking when I don't focus on them [7:29 PM] Me: this movie has Antman vibes [7:29 PM] Me: similar humor [7:35 PM] Me: hipsters how do you even convince someone you're not that lol [7:35 PM] Me: oh here we go first standstill [7:36 PM] Me: it's really cool actually, like that one xmen scene [7:36 PM] Me: god that is just ridiculously fast [7:36 PM] Me: so far this movie is better than it looked [7:37 PM] Me: especially before the redesign [7:37 PM] Me: ugh [7:37 PM] friend: I do wonder how much, if any, the story changed with the design [7:37 PM] Me: I'm just guessing that it's the same but there could have been more changes [7:39 PM] Me: ok if mushroom world has no breathable air I'd say that's not a safe place to go [7:39 PM] Me: for sonic??? [7:40 PM] Friend: I do question how a planet full of mushrooms can have enough oxygen in it. there must be something producing more oxygen though [7:41 PM] Me: if Stone isn't a robot that eggman built I hope he's paid well [7:41 PM] Me: he literally just said it doesn't have breathable air [7:41 PM] Friend: I thought he said it did [7:42 PM] Me: ... [7:42 PM] Me: I can't rewind [7:42 PM] Me: a babysitter is infinitely better than a cop tho [7:42 PM] Me: acab [7:44 PM] Me: does he go super sonic in this [7:44 PM] Me: like gold [7:45 PM] Me: aaand he's flossing [7:45 PM] Me: how old is sonic [7:45 PM] Me: is this a child [7:45 PM] friend: idk they should have mentioned it somewhere [7:46 PM] Me: are those children fighting over a switch or a tablet [7:46 PM] Me: jesus sonic just killed eggman [7:46 PM] Me: like I understand but [7:46 PM] Me: oh he waasn't in that one [7:46 PM] Me: I guess [7:49 PM] Me: it seems weird that that exploded [7:49 PM] Me: what if it killed sonic [7:49 PM] Me: what if it damaged the remains [7:49 PM] Me: didnt eggman want to study him [7:50 PM] Me: ok well eggman just called Stone a human being so I hope he's being paid well [7:53 PM] Me: ok how is it fun to be chased by a holographic dinosaur [7:53 PM] Me: I literally have nightmares that are that [7:53 PM] Me: except in nightmares you can feel terror and pain [7:56 PM] Me: are those the shoes that had a deal with sonic adventure 2 [7:57 PM] Me: ah man this is the kinda guy who would either get fired because he's too good to be a cop or be corrupted by getting the job [7:57 PM] Me: I've been reading a lot of stories of what happens to "good cops" lately [7:58 PM] Me: and either they get fired for not being terrible or they become terrible [7:58 PM] Me: remember there are no good cops [7:59 PM] friend: well that is going to change soon [7:59 PM] friend: or it better [7:59 PM] Me: no more cops [7:59 PM] Me: abolish cops [7:59 PM] Me: freedom [8:03 PM] Me: oooo he called him eggman [8:03 PM] Me: took me a second to realize that wasn't just his name [8:03 PM] friend: he is eggman in japan and robotnic in america [8:04 PM] Me: I just think of him as Dr Eggman Robotnic [8:04 PM] Me: like bowser is King Bowser Koopa [8:04 PM] Me: Princess Peach Toadstool [8:04 PM] Me: ... I wasn't paying attention did sonic's speed just fail [8:05 PM] Me: *ring get noise* Me: oh no how many of those rings does he have [8:07 PM] Me: like not an infinite amount [8:07 PM] Me: wait [8:07 PM] Me: aren't the pyramids like [8:07 PM] Me: next to a city [8:08 PM] Me: and not in the middle of endless sand [8:08 PM] friend: yeah [8:09 PM] friend: from pictures there does seem to be a lot of sand around them [8:10 PM] Me: its the angle [8:10 PM] Me: the pyramids are like [8:10 PM] Me: inbetween endless sand and a city [8:10 PM] friend: sure [8:10 PM] Me: well he's going Blue Super Sonic [8:10 PM] Me: still not gold/yellow [8:11 PM] friend: well he does need all the chaos emeralds to go gold [8:12 PM] Me: so what is this form called [8:12 PM] Me: canonically [8:12 PM] friend: idk [8:12 PM] Me: blue lightning sonic [8:13 PM] friend: all that comes up is a truck [8:14 PM] Me: try tvtropes [8:17 PM] Me: well they're treating him like a child? I think? [8:17 PM] Me: like they adopted him [8:17 PM] Me: he's flossing and has a racecar bed [8:17 PM] Me: I think he's a child??? [8:18 PM] Me: hye look its eggman [8:18 PM] Me: he's gonna be so pissed when he gets back [8:18 PM] Me: pff stone isn't a human anymore [8:18 PM] Me: I guess the air is breathable [8:18 PM] Me: how does he get fat on msuhroom world [8:19 PM] Me: are the mushrooms edible [8:19 PM] friend: I would hope at least some of them are [8:19 PM] Me: wait why did he shave [8:19 PM] Me: I saw him do it but it's not explained why [8:19 PM] Me: did he get gum in his hair what did I miss [8:20 PM] friend: well if his mustache is any indication his hair might have gotten... idk weird, so he shaved it [8:21 PM] friend: remember end credit scenes [8:21 PM] Me: ah mood [8:21 PM] Me: I'm watching the credits yes [8:21 PM] Me: I mean I feel like shaving my head would feel infinitely weirder so I just buzz it short but mood [8:21 PM] friend: idr if there was a thing at the very end of the credits [8:21 PM] Me: oh here we go some woods TAILS [8:21 PM] Me: NO [8:21 PM] Me: they had to redesign tails [8:21 PM] Me: too [8:21 PM] Me: wait [8:21 PM] Me: uh [8:21 PM] Me: that was [8:21 PM] Me: really fast for tails [8:22 PM] Me: I guess he's not as fast as sonic but he's not supposed to be that fast [8:22 PM] Me: aaand more credits [8:22 PM] friend: well he can be fast in the games [8:23 PM] Me: he was slow in sonic boom cartoon [8:23 PM] Me: maybe???

#sonic the movie spoilers #sonic movie spoilers #gtxt

0 notes

writeroffanfictions · 8 years ago

Text

Destiel || Birthday

Warning Smut NSFW You have been warned. Hope you like it :p

Dean opened the door to the apartment he shared with his boyfriend Castiel. He came home early that day so he was able to surprise him. He found Cas curled up in their bed, fast asleep, Dean smiled at how cute his boyfriend looked. Dean slipped under the covers and spooned the smaller man, Cas stirred and opened one eye. He looked up and saw Dean, he smiled, “You’re back early.” he said sleepily. “I wanted to surprise you, I didn’t mean to wake you up, sorry about that.” he responded. Cas turned over so he and Dean were face to face, “It’s fine, I’m glad you’re here.”. Dean leaned in and put his lips against Castiel’s, they kissed passionately for a few moments then pulled away. “Its only three o'clock, is there anything special you want to do today birthday boy.” Dean asked. Cas thought for a moment before deciding, “I want to take a walk in the park with ice cream, have dinner, bake a pie, then binge watch Sherlock on netflix.” he said with a straight face. Dean made a face that looked like he was thinking, “Ok, I can definitely do that. Plus a little extra gifts and surprises in between.” he smiled and pecked Cas on the lips. “Do you want to go now?” Dean asked, “Yeah, but I need to shower first.” Cas responded, “Alright, I need to shower too so we can take one together.” Dean said as he got out of the bed. He grabbed some clean clothes and headed to the bathroom, with Cas not far behind. Their bathroom was a bit cramped for the two of them to be in there at the same time, but they saw it as being able to be close. Both men got rid of their clothes and got into the shower, Dean made sure that the temperature was just right. Showers always take longer when both of them were in there so by the time they got out it was 3:45pm. They put on fresh clothes and headed out the door hand in hand. “Pick any ice cream place and we’ll go there. Its your day so you get to choose.” Dean said happily. “Lets go to the one that has booze infused syrups.” Cas said. Dean nodded his head, “I was hoping you were going to say that.”. Dean got vanilla ice cream with apples, grahm crackers, and whiskey caramel sauce. Castiel got chocolate with M&Ms and chocolate bourbon sauce. They walked through the park with ice cream in hand, Cas suggested that they should sit down and Dean agreed. Soon their ice cream was done and they were watching kids happily play with one another. Cas put his head on Dean’s shoulder and sighed, “So far, this is one of the best birthdays I’ve ever had. I’m glad I get to spend it with you.”. “I’m glad you like it and that I get to spend your birthday with you too. I love being able to spoil you.” Dean responded and kissed the top of Castiel’s head. They sat there until the sun started to go down and the sky was a bright pink. “Babe, you ready to go?” Dean asked, “Yeah.” Castiel responded. They got up and walked through the dying rays of light. “Before we head to dinner, there’s something I want to show you.” Dean said, Castiel made an unsure face but thought that it might be good. Dean led them into town, Cas tried to ask him where they were going, but he wouldn’t say. They stopped in front of a bar, “Really Dean? This is your surprise?” Cas said flatly, “No, this is just so I can close your eyes and lead you to the place I’m taking you. Do you honestly think I would do this to you on your birthday?” Dean responded, Cas shrugged. Dean put his hands over Castiel’s eyes and led him forward for a few yards, he instructed for Cas to keep his eyes shut while he opened the door. Once they got inside Dean told Cas that he could open his eyes, he gasped at the sight. They were in a jewelry store that Cas had been wanting to go into for months so they can get a matching set of rings, but Dean always said that it was too expensive. Castiel turned to Dean and hugged him tightly, “Thank you.” he whispered into his lover’s ear. Castiel released his grip on Dean and went quickly to the ring section, he scanned the array of rings and looked at Dean, “These are expensive I don’t want you to spend that much money.”. “Its alright, I’ve been saving ever since you said you wanted it. Plus I’d do anything for you.” he responded, Cas smiled and hugged him again. He went back to looking and found two gold rings with silver on the edges, “I want those.” Cas told the jeweler. The woman took out the rings and placed them on the counter, “We can engrave them for you if you’d like. After what I saw, I’ll do it for free.” the woman said smiling. Dean nodded his head, “I want mine to say Castiel.” “And I want mine to say Dean.” Cas told the woman. Dean gave her his credit card and looked at Cas, he was glad to see him so happy. The woman came back with their rings and Dean’s credit card, Cas put his on and Dean did the same. They took a moment to admire their rings, and thank the woman before leaving the store. It was now dark out,“For dinner, I decided that we should do something a little better than sitting in a cold building with a bunch of chattering people around. Its time for your second surprise.” Dean told Castiel. He led them back to the park where they were before, it was empty except for a patch of grass that had a blanket with food on top. Cas paused for a moment to register what was going on, he looked up at a smiling Dean, then brought him closer for a long, passionate kiss. “This is amazing Dean.” was all Cas managed to let out. He walked to the blanket and sat down, “When did you do this?” he asked the larger man, “I have friends.” was all Dean said. They ate their sandwiches and pie (since it’s the only things Dean can make) under the night sky. Afterwards, they laid on the blanket and looked at the sky in silence, “Are you ready to do the last thing on your birthday list?” Dean asked Cas, who’s head was now on top of his stomach. “Yeah.” he responded. They stood up and gathered their picnic stuff off of the ground and headed back to their apartment. Dean set their stuff down in the kitchen, Cas walked over to their couch to set up Netflix on their tv. Dean popped some popcorn, causing their apartment to smell like a movie theatre. Cas snuggled against Dean’s chest, stealing from the popcorn bowl frequently. They had just finished an episode when Cas kissed Dean without warning, the larger man deepened the kiss once he was able to realize what was going on. Dean placed the popcorn bowl on the ground so it wouldn’t disturb them, they moved so Cas was under Dean. They were on their couch making out for a while until Dean felt a slight bulge under Castiel’s pants on his leg. The friction made Cas moan quietly, but it was loud enough for Dean to hear. “If you wanted to do this you could have just said so.” he said, breaking the kiss, Cas made a pouty face at Dean for stopping. Dean laughed as he stood up, he picked up Castiel bridal style and started to walk to their room. He set the smaller man down on the bed and saw that the bulge had grown larger, he smirked and crawled onto the bed with him. They resumed their kissing from earlier, but this time it was hungrier, more ‘sex’ like. Dean pulled off his shirt and helped Cas out of his quickly, not wanting to stop what they were doing. Soon Cas wanted more, he tugged at Dean’s waistband, trying to pull down his pants. Dean got the message and took off his pants and waited for Cas to do the same. Dean looked at his boyfriend in only boxers, he could see a wet spot caused by Cas’s leaking cock. Dean licked his lips seductively, Cas only looked up at his lover and think of the amazing things he was about to do. Dean teased Cas by stroking his hard member, Cas shuddered in response. Dean smirked when he saw Cas unravel below him, he took off his boxers and ordered Castiel to do the same. Now fully naked, Dean went down to Cas’s leaking cock and licked the precum, the bitter tase exploding in his mouth. Without warning Dean took all of Cas in his mouth, gagging a bit when the tip hit the back of his throat. He started bobbing his head up and down while swallowing around him. “Ah fuck..do that again.” Cas told Dean, he swallowed around him again, making his boyfriend cry out. Cas was a moaning mess under him, “D-Dean I’m close!” Cas managed to say. Dean stopped what he was doing immediately causing Cas to let out a whimper, “No, I want this to last as long as possible.” Dean said. Now that Cas had calmed down a bit, Dean was ready to continue. He grabbed a bottle of lube from his nightstand and got ready to pour it on his fingers, “No, I want you inside of me now. No prep.” Cas said, “Are you sure, I don’t want to hurt you?” Dean asked, “Yes”. Dean poured the lube on his hard member, he looked at Castiel’s hole and put the tip on top, teasing him a bit before going in. Cas moved back, trying to get Dean’s cock inside, Dean allowed it only because it was his birthday. He put it in slowly, he heard Cas take in a sharp breath and stopped, “keep going.” Castiel told him. Dean continued to put it in slowly until he bottomed out, he waited a moment for Cas to adjust before moving. He started at a slow pace, but both men were already feeling the pleasure. It was obvious that Castiel was trying to keep in his moans, “I want to hear you.” Dean said, a few loud moans and whimpers could be heard coming from the smaller man’s mouth. Dean went faster now, he thrusted at different angels, looking for Castiel’s prostate. He knew he found it when Cas shouted his name, Dean hit the bundle of nerves harder every time. “Dean-oh-mm!” was all Cas was able to let out. Both of them were moaning loudly, they would probably get a complaint later for all the noise, that didn’t matter at the moment. Cas came shouting Dean’s name, Dean came moments later, coming hard into Cas. He pulled out, leaving Cas feeling empty. Their bed and some of Cas was covered in cum, Dean planned on dealing with that when they got up, now, he wanted to hold Castiel in his arms. Dean kissed the top of Castiel’s head, “Happy birthday babe. I love you.” he said, “I love you too.” Cas responded, soon they both fell asleep in each other’s arms.

#destiel #dean winchester #castiel #smut #fluffy #cute #birthday

48 notes · View notes

the-tales-of-horror · 8 years ago

Text

Law & Order Doesn’t Always Lead To A Happy Ending

Original Link By feyedharkonnen

“Knock, Knock”

“Who’s there?” I said it automatically now, which is what happens when your kid tells knock-knock jokes incessantly, having discovered their appeal about a week ago.

“Smell Mop” It was funny the first few dozen times she asked me this one but even as the guy who told her most of the jokes she now regurgitated, ad nauseum, in every waking hour, the novelty was wearing thin.

“Andi, honey, Daddy doesn’t want to knock-knock right now, I know, let’s watch your favorite show!” I jumped to my feet and yelled “DUN DUN!” Andi squealed with delight at the hallmark of her favorite, Law and Order. Who knew 3 year olds would prefer police procedural dramas over Dora the Explorer. I’m still waiting for Boots and Dora to find Swiper in an alley, having been killed by his fence.

I turned on the TV and went in the kitchen to make us some PB&Js and grab some Sunny Delight. It turned out to be a re-run, as was the norm at 2pm on a Thursday, but it was new to Andi, so she sat in her accustomed spot, right next to me with one of my arms over her shoulder, using my bicep as a pillow. The bright little sprite was wise enough to realize that Jerry Orbach, who played Detective Lenny Briscoe was also the voice of Lumiere in Beauty and the Beast. She referred to him as “Loomy Bisco”.

This episode was a good one though and it involved a missing person, so at the end of the episode, as L&E will often do they flashed across the screen, real missing people, both adults and children. I had gotten up to clear our mess of paper plates and refill the Sunny D when I heard Andi, “Daddy, that’s Unca Billy and Jeffy!” I looked up and saw on my screen, a younger version of the old guy William, who lived across the street from me with his grandson Jeffery. It certainly looked like them but I didn’t want Andi to get overly excited and exascerbate her asthma. “It kinda looks like them honey, but that couldn’t be them, does Billy look like a bad man?” She thought about it for a moment and then said “Ok Daddy, you right.”

I sent a text to my wife who was at work and told her what we’d seen. She called me about 5 minutes later and told me I should contact the 800 number for missing and exploited children to give the tip, you know, just in case. So I did, all the while pacing by the large picture window in the front room, seeing if there were any activity across the street. I explained to the person on the line that I wasn’t entirely certain, but someone on one of their broadcasts could be my 60-something-year-old neighbor and his “Grandson” could be the kid this guy abducted 9 years ago. I felt like an idiot and that I was betraying him in some way by jumping to this grandest of conclusions. If we’d had the technology in 2001, I could have sent a picture somehow. I didn’t own a fax machine and my indestructible Nokia just didn’t have the capabilities.

“Sir, this is very important,…” The person on the line interrupted my wandering mind, “I’m sorry, ma’am, what was the question?” The woman repeated herself, “Do you know if the gentleman in question owns any firearms?” It was a bit of a jarring question after making a call on a whim. “Will? Yeah, the guy is an avid hunter and fisher, has a collection that would make Charlton Heston proud, I’m kind of jeal…” She cut me off, “Stand by please sir.” and the dulcet tones of Kenny G’s “Songbird” filled my ear, gross.

30 seconds later, a man came on the line, “Mr. Jacobs, my name is Carl Singleton and I’m a Special Agent in Charge of the Cincinnati Field Office for the Federal Bureau of Investigations.” I held my phone away from my ear and stared at it for a moment, looked over my shoulder at Andi watching Disney and brought the phone back to my ear. “I’m sorry, did you just say you were with the FBI?” This was becoming surreal. “Yes sir, I’m going to ask you a series of questions about your neighbor, William.” I balked at the idea of divulging the information at first. “Are you serious?”

“I take things of this nature very seriously Mr. Jacobs. Please just answer the questions.” He asked how long we’d lived here and how long we’d known Will, any distinguishing features, quirks, and odd behavior in public around Jeffery. Questions about his temperament, any substance or alcohol abuse issues, and suspicions of any skeletons in my neighbor’s closet. I felt like I was in front of the McCarthy Commission ratting on suspected commies. I answered as best I could but nothing seemed to concern the FBI guy until I mentioned Will’s ring and a scar on his chin.

“Wait, go back to the ring, can you describe it?” I thought for a moment, “Yeah, everybody in the neighborhood can describe that ring, it’s just like the ring that Tom Selleck wears in Magnum P.I., you know, the cross, Will is a huge Magnum fan.” I could hear Singleton muffle his end of the phone and yell something to another person, he came back to me. “Mr. Jacobs, I’m going to ask that you refrain from any contact with William at this time while we look into some things, it may be nothing.” And with that, he ended the call, leaving me to stare at the cordless phone in my hand. The nothing he spoke about happened 20 minutes later as I watched 2 unmarked cars block off the end of my street.

I picked up the phone to call my wife and was greeted by a dead line. I grabbed my Nokia and it read “No Service”. I looked out the window to see men clad in black tactical gear dodging between houses toward Will’s house, the activity outside finally caught the attention of Andi, who had been riveted by Disney this whole time when a helicopter wheeled overhead and took up a stationary hover about 150 feet above my neighborhood. “Daddy! A Whirlybird!” she squealed in delight, that’s what we called them. I told her to go back to the tv while daddy tried to figure out what was going on. I walked to my front door and opened it.

Three feet to the left of my door, the muzzle of an M-16 swung up to my chest then dropped again just as quickly and the uniformed gentleman who held it said through gritted teeth, just loud enough for me to hear, “Sir, get. The. Fuck. Back in your house, and stay there.” And he pulled my door shut. I noticed Andi a few feet away with wide eyes, “Daddy, that man said a bad word!” It made me laugh through the nervousness in my stomach, “Yes baby, yes he did. Shame on him.” There was no keeping her away from the window now since she’d seen the chaos going on in our little corner of the world.

I turned my Lazy Boy in the front room toward the picture window and got popcorn, since there was nothing else I could do. Andi sat on the arm of the chair commenting on the various figures running here and there. After about an hour, a black car came though the roadblock at the end of our street and came to a stop just behind the large RV that had been rolled in, a tall grizzled looking man got out and fixed his tie, Andi stared after him with rapt attention, “Loomy Bisco?” she asked. I laughed and said, “No baby, Loomy is on TV.” As if that would distract her from the guy in front of my house who clearly looked like he could be Jerry Orbach’s younger brother.

He spoke with one of the tactical guys for a moment and then went in the RV. After 15 minutes of static nothingness, a group of the uniform clad men burst into action, one team in the front, and I can only assume one team in the back, I knew the layout of Will’s house, as we lived in a cookie-cutter neighborhood, his house was almost identical to mine. At the front, a large man stepped up to the door with what looked like a large metal pipe with handles; he swung it back once, and brought the end crashing into the door just to the left of the doorknob. The frame, to the right, came apart like kindling and the door swung violently inward.

The big man swung to the side and the uniforms, huddled in a line, streamed in the gap like an armored centipede with a shield at its head. I can’t tell if it was five seconds later or ten, but the front picture window exploded outward in a fireball, the concussion blowing in my window and showering Andi and I with small chunks of glass. I picked her up, and ignoring the cuts to the bottom of my feet rushed to my bedroom at the rear of the house. I looked her over and aside from a few small cuts here and there, she was fine.

I could see her crying, but I couldn’t hear a damn thing except for a high-pitched ringing in my ears. I felt something oozing in my ear, and judging from the small amount of blood coming from Andi’s, I could well guess what it was. I walked, Andi in my arms to the front of the house to peek out the window to see if there were new developments, there were. It was a nightmare of burning cars, people staggering around blindly, carnage, the team that had entered Will’s house, what was left of them, was strewn across the once carefully manicured lawn, viscera and limbs here and there.

I didn’t have to worry about Andi seeing this scene of devastation as she had her face firmly planted in my shoulder. I could feel her tears soaking my t-shirt. The Loomy Bisco look-a-like came staggering out of the RV, a red stain about where you’d guess his appendix would be, the stain spreading slowly, his hand absentmindedly, occasionally touching the small, shiny, crimson shard of metal that protruded from his shirt. I walked as steadily as I could toward him. I could start to hear things very faintly through the ringing.

My voice sounded, to me, like I was speaking from somewhere around the vicinity of my chest. “You’re Singleton, aren’t you!” it was more of a statement than a question. He looked at me, confused, I could see him saying “Who the fuck are you?” I mimed the sign for a telephone and said “Jacobs”. His eyes passed over me and then Andi, then around the scene; his eyes showed regret, “I’m sorry, I should have known it wasn’t going to be this easy.” He waved over a group of rushing paramedics, refusing treatment until his knees buckled and it wasn’t his choice anymore. They looked us over and we received a ride to the hospital to check us for any internal injuries. I called my wife to let us know what was going on.

Tabitha nearly beat us to the hospital, that woman is a Formula One driver when it comes to needing to get to the hospital, as evidenced by her collection of speeding tickets from Andi’s occasional visits due to her asthma, which, surprisingly had not made an appearance as a result of the excitement of the day, I don’t know if my baby was in shock and it just hadn’t hit her yet, I was ready for anything by now.

Andi had fallen asleep in her exam room near the ER so Tabitha and I stepped into the hallway to discuss what had happened. A familiar, by now, face strode up to the pair of us and introduced himself to Tabitha.

“Carl Singleton, Special Agent in Charge, FBI. I can only assume you are Mrs. Jacobs. May I speak with you and your husband a moment?” We looked in Andi’s direction and he nodded, “Agent Samuels will be watching her.” He introduced a tall black man with scrubs on who nodded deferentially to us and proceeded to enter the room and take a seat in one of the chairs near the bed.

Singleton led us to a quiet office off one of the many hallways and sat heavily in a chair, wincing when he did so, he stopped his hand from goin to where I’d seen him bleeding back in the neighborhood. “You alright?” I asked, he responded with “I’ve had worse, but that’s not why we’re here. Your neighbor…” Tabitha chimed in, “Will?” Singleton sighed and corrected her, “Will as you call him is really one Staff Sargent Jonathan Merrill; former Army Ranger, veteran of three tours in Vietnam, and a psychopath of the highest order.

He initially came to our attention in 1977, shortly after his medical discharge from the Army. He claimed to be suffering from severe PTSD and was in custody after murdering his wife and four children in a particularly bloody fashion, a Family Annihilator is what the eggheads at the Behavioral Analysis Unit classed him as. He escaped custody on his way to a lifetime stay at Ft. Leavenworth, Kansas and has been on the run from us ever since, leaving us a trail of bodies from one side of the country to the other, even foraying into Canada and Mexico. This is the closest we’ve come to him in 7 years.”

“The eggheads really want their hands on him alive because he’s unique as far as serial killers go, they usually stick to a pattern and that becomes their thing, and I rarely, if ever changes. But with Merrill, he’s a special snowflake, he changes, he went from the family, to prostitutes, then hikers, then truck drivers, and now, teenage boys, we want to stop him before he changes his stripes again, so to speak. The Bureau refers to him as Mercury, because he’s so fluid and deadly. It wasn’t until recently, with forensic advances, that we were able to attribute dozens of other victims that we had originally thought were completely different killers with varying modes operandi. Personally, this guy terrifies me.”

“Why have we never heard of him? We could have…” Tabitha started to say, but Singleton cut her off, “The powers that be kept this under for wraps for reasons that I was never made privy to, but now, after today, they can’t hide this anymore. They’ll have to give us more now, or at least give us a deadly force option, he’s responsible now for the deaths of nine of our best tactical operators. That’s on my conscience because I underestimated the lengths he would go to escape and evade us, but this was calculated, that bomb was waiting for us. And that’s not all, when the explosive ordnance disp… I’m sorry, when the bomb squad finished clearing the residence, they found several… disturbing things.”

He paused and chewed his bottom lip a bit, as if trying to decide to tell us. “We found what we believe to be several graves, which means he’s been active and we will be unaware of if he has changed anything in regards to his M.O. until we autopsy the victims. One of the oddest things was a book of knock-knock jokes, we have no idea if theirs any significance to it.” Singleton shrugged, dismissing the statement he’d just made. I felt my intestines turn to ice and I was on my feet and sprinting down the hallways before my brain came to a full realization of why. Andi.

The world started to come back to me a little at a time as I ran, people shouting at me for running in a hospital, the pain in my feet from the glass I’d stepped in earlier, the dull quality to sounds from the blast damage. I got to the room where we’d left Andi with the undercover FBI agent. I pushed the door open to an empty room. I heard a groan from the other side of the bed, I scrambled around the side to see Samuels gasping for breath through the ragged hole in his throat, foamy blood surrounded the wound and streamed down his chest. “Where’s Andi!?” I screamed at the dying man. Fear and sorrow filled his eyes just before he died and he pointed above his head to the bed-side table. There was a note.

“Knock Knock, Neighbor, (turn over)”

I felt a paralysis of sorts set in as my mind filled in the blank, “Who’s there?”

I turned over the note as I heard Tabitha and Singleton come into the room behind me.

“Nobody, bye bye.”

#Law & Order Doesn't Always Lead To A Happy Ending #Horror Story #Scary Story #Creepy Story #Reddit NoSleep #TTOH

20 notes · View notes

theotherscarmanthewoman · 8 years ago

Text

Series 2 Episode 2: Sweet Thumbelina don’t be glum (and other stories)

Anyway, the cat loses interest; perhaps it’s intending to eat the freshly-murdered Mr. Farrow instead. However, the Doctor rules out getting back to the ship just now, because cats are super-quick and he doesn’t fancy being a part of its diet. This has touched a nerve with Babs, who reckons this is getting more horrifying every moment; clearly being eaten by cats is something she, as someone whose flat (according to Ian in one of his douchier moments right at the beginning of the show) is probably full of stray animals like a sixties Disney Princess (well, she’s got the physics-defying hair for it), fears above all things. Just thought I'd bring up that little gem. What is more likely is that, as discussed in previous episodes, the relentless threat of death is starting to Bother our Babs. Susan asks whether they ought to try communicating with the people here, but the Doctor and Ian are against it because of Science: they’ll sound like a squeak and the unshrunk humans will sound like a low growl. Barbara, however, has other fears: that they will be seen as freaks who will be put in glass cases and examined under microscopes. We seem to be learning a lot about Barbara’s phobias this week. The Doctor has another important thing to add: the people who live in this house are murderers and therefore have insane and/or criminal minds and are incapable of showing sympathy and understanding. So there. You share those Victorian attitudes to mental health, Doctor! Though to be fair, he's not wrong about the whole 'don't put your trust in murderers' thing.

Babs wonders whether they oughtn’t to do something about that there murder; the Doctor reckons they can do sod-all in their current state. But before they can get into it, a giant leg approaches—everybody run! AND OH WE HAVE TRIPPAGE! BARBARA HAS GONE OVER ON HER ANKLE PURELY FOR THE PURPOSES OF SPLITTING UP THE GROUP. Though it should be noted that Susan tries to go back for her. Yes Susan. (As well you might, after Babs was willing to be guillotined rather than leave you behind when you were afflicted with that narratively-convenient headache.) The Doctor and Susan head over to a pipe, while Ian gets Barbara to join him in the briefcase. Looming above the briefcase is our murderous businessman Forester, who is chatting to Smithers the Scientist, who is wearing a lab coat because he is a Scientist. He tries to tell him some cock-and-bull story about Farrow stealing the formula and accidentally shooting himself, but a brief examination of the body (which merely looks like a pen has exploded over its shirt) puts paid to that. Smithers, rather coolly, advises him not to try that shit with the police, as Farrow has clearly been shot through the heart from some feet away. No flies on Smithers. (Or on anyone, if DN6 makes it to production. Yeah I’m paying attention to the plot!) Anyway, the reason Smithers is so unfazed by the body is because apparently he’s seen people dying of starvation all over the world, which is why he’s been developing DN6. And he’s been working crazy hours for the past year to do it, too, and is pissed off that Forester didn’t just try to bribe Farrow instead. Forester reckons he can make it look like a boating accident seeing as how Farrow was off on his French river cruise…which I seriously doubt, seeing as how the body will still have a gunshot wound in it when the police find it washed up on the Riviera. Smithers doesn’t give a shit as long as he can stop people starving to death. Which is a noble cause, but surely DN6 wouldn’t actually achieve this if what it’s really doing is causing widespread crop failure because all the pollinators have been wiped out. Anyway, Forester is going to get on with his dastardly scheme…but he’s going to take Farrow’s briefcase back into the lab first. Because of reasons. In the lab, Ian and Babs emerge from the briefcase, looking green around the gills; Babs says it was worse than the Big Dipper. Which just adds to my ongoing ‘Barbara and Ian go to a fairground and are reminded of all sorts of fucked-up stuff from their adventures with the Doctor’ head canon. Also, I choose to believe they once went to Blackpool on a school trip in an advisory capacity and it was basically like a Willy Russell film only with Carole Ann Ford instead of a kid called Carol. Also also, Ian’s lament—‘of course it had to happen to us—of all the places to pick, we had to choose one that was movable’—is the story of their lives. Barbara reflects ruefully that she’s bashed her knee on a large piece of metal that turns out to have been a paperclip; Barbara’s sense of the absurd continues to be prevalent.

Anyway, because she’s done her ankle in, she’d like to find some water to bathe it in. Sigh. I should note at this point that I have cruckled my ankles several times and it’s absolute agony, but seriously they could’ve found another way to get these two into the briefcase and then to the sink. Why are women’s ankles always a plot device and why do men never go over on them? Outside, Forester and Smithers are moving the body. They take it past a drain, inside which the Doctor and Susan are lurking. Susan’s seen Forester take the briefcase, and the Doctor nearly falls down the drain when he goes over to investigate the drainpipe, which he pronounces smelly. In fact it has an awful chemical smell, which means it’s a special pipe and probably leads inside the house, and the Doctor intends to climb up it. It’s corroded so it’s got lots of handholds and footholds, and the chemical smell mean’s it’s germ-free. So no tetanus for the Gallifreyans, then, just maybe a few hideous chemical burns. Then a beautiful thing happens:

SUSAN: It's too far for you, Grandfather. DOCTOR: Well, if it is, I shall have to give up, and I'm not going to give up before I've tried. And remember, you must think of the other two. They must be constantly reminding themselves they're only one inch high. There's only the two of us to help them. SUSAN: All right. But you let me go first. DOCTOR: Yes, yes, yes, go on.

YES CHARACTER DEVELOPMENT! The Doctor is willing to scale a giant drainpipe full of chemicals to help his humans, despite his age and despite Susan’s protests, and is actually advocating thinking of others before thinking of oneself. I mean he doesn’t particularly care about the murder or the indiscriminate slaughter of small things all around him, but still, he now cares about literally twice as many people in the universe as he did at the beginning of the first series. Also he is actually displaying empathy here, which might be a first. Meanwhile, back on the workbench, Ian has failed to find ankle-bathing water, but that’s ok because Babs is fine now. Apart from the shocking bruise on her knee, that is. I wonder is Barbara in some way related to Arthur Dent? Anyway, Ian wishes there’s something he could do to help her, but is it just me or is it quite nice to see them worrying about something so normal as a bumped knee? They go off exploring. Back in the pipes, Susan is checking up on her Grandfather’s progress. Handholds and footholds or no handholds and footholds, it’s impressing that they are essentially scaling a crazy-high climbing wall without the aid of a safety harness. You go, Gallifreyans. Meanwhile, Ian is pointing out features of interest such as Enormous Test Tubes to a politely interested Barbara. Which only adds to my ongoing collection of ‘post-Doctor Babs and Ian go on holiday’ headcanons. They come across a large pile of grain which looks to me an awful lot like giant Sugar Puffs. Which, after having consulted the Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy Wikipedia, I can confirm is because Sugar Puffs are in fact puffed-up grains of wheat. Which is what this is. Also, did you know that Sugar Puffs (well, Quaker Oats) helped finance the 1966 film The Dalek Invasion of Earth 2150AD? And that posters for said breakfast cereal can be seen all over the film? And that Sugar Puffs held a giveaway competition in which the grand prize was a Dalek prop from the film? WIKIPEDIA, WIKIPEDIA, WE THANK THEE FOR THIS BOON. But seriously, this is some of the best googling I’ve ever done.

Anyway, Babs doesn’t have access to Wikipedia and is clearly not a fan of Sugar Puffs, because she asks Ian whether he reckons it’s corn or wheat; Ian says wheat, so it must be true. He then turns his back for a couple of seconds while Barbara is a FUCKING IDIOT and picks up one of the grains to confirm that yes, this is wheat. Have you forgotten all about the Doctor telling the gang not to eat or drink anything (and by extension handle food and drink) because of the indiscriminate deadly insecticide, Babs? Having put it down, she realises it’s covered in sticky stuff like toffee. Maybe she’s not being dumb and actually thinks she’s come across a pile of Sugar Puffs? Ian, however, is distracted by a book of litmus paper, and is so busy pretending to be a Shakespearean Emo mulling over how often he’s held such a piece of paper between his fingers that he doesn’t find it weird that Babs has asked for his handkerchief, nor notice that she is wiping her hands vigorously with it. Ian is also stupid this week. Having said that, it is rather poignant that Ian has found himself in his former work environment and that he is now using a book of litmus paper as a bench. The humans are bearing these insults to their reality that make it so utterly absurd rather well.

Anyway, Ian reckons that whatever is killing the insects has been sprayed onto the grain. Barbara, meanwhile, claims to have forgotten all about the Doctor’s warning about whatever killed the bugs being fatal to them, too. Because of course you’d forget something like that. Ian is so busy warning her not to touch stuff and pontificating about the distinctive aroma of the stuff that’s coating the wheat that he doesn’t notice how worried Barbara has suddenly become, how weird it is that she keeps scrubbing at her hands, OR THAT THE SMELL IS NOW ON HER AND THE HANDKERCHIEF. UGH this serial drives me crazy. AND SHE DOESN’T TELL HIM SHE’S GOT THE DEADLY STUFF ALL OVER HER HANDS. I mean fair enough, at first it’s because he’s prattling away and not listening to her attempts to interject, BUT THEN WHEN HE'S ACTUALLY LISTENING SHE DOESN’T CONVEY VERY IMPORTANT INFORMATION FOR NO REASON AT ALL. BARBARA, I KNOW HE’S A FUSSPOT WHO WORRIES ABOUT YOU EVEN WHEN YOU’VE JUST BASHED YOUR KNEE ON A PAPERCLIP, BUT THIS IS NO TIME TO BE SO FUCKING STOICAL. Babs is super downcast, but Ian doesn’t think this is so unusual and apparently takes this for perfectly normal despair. Even though Barbara is the kind of person who will tear a bed apart with her bare hands if there’s the slimmest chance it will help her crowbar her way out of prison. (In fairness, Babs never despairs when Susan’s around, but will occasionally get maudlin around Ian…but still, he should be more intuitive by now and know something is up.) He decides to cheer her up with blind optimism, suggesting all they need is a piece of string to get down to ground level. Then by heart breaks a bit, because Babs—automatically, it seems—corrects him, saying that at their size string is too thick, and what they need is a reel of cotton. And she catches herself. And suddenly the full ridiculousness of everything catches up with her. And she’s angry. And even though I’m pissed off that she’s being idiotic about this whole ‘probably dying but not going to tell anyone’ thing, I love that we get to see more of Barbara dealing with the absurd, because it’s consistent with the way she’s been going since The Aztecs and the way we saw her in The Reign of Terror. As I’ve said, being home (which they don’t mention at all) but the wrong size and having to scurry about like Borrowers is one insult too many to their sense of reality; they’re an inch high in their own world and it’s made home alien, and for Barbara at least this is the last fucking straw.

(It is at this point that I finally gain access to the DVD player for an evening, so expect gratuitous use of infotext from hereon in.) Ian, who hasn’t employed the Chesterton Neck Pinch for a while, decides that the time is ripe to grab the bestie by the shoulders and give her a good shake. Because this is what being on Earth again does to Ian. Le sigh. However, he must be given token emotional intelligence points for telling Babs to forget about how absurd it all is and concentrate on getting back. Which is pretty much where their characters had been going all last season. Barbara, Barbara, don’t let the crazy grind you down. Although in this case a large part of Barbara’s mopey turn is because she is worried that she’s going to drop dead like that bumblebee from last week. Anyway, Barbara rallies round, and Ian suggests they use the paperclips from the briefcase to make a ladder. Which, according to the infotext, ‘was Barbara’s idea until a late revision to the script’. THANK YOU, INFOTEXT, FOR THIS EVIDENCE OF BARBARA’S RESOURCEFULNESS BEING GIVEN AWAY TO IAN FOR REASONS. She suggests they also try to find out more about the death glaze (insecticide) in the briefcase, but is shot down by Ian who scoffs at her and says the other thing is much more important. AND INFOTEXT STRIKES AGAIN: ‘Ian wasn’t as dismissive of Barbara’s scripted suggestion that the briefcase would “tell us what they do here” either.’ SCRIPT REVISIONS, Y U MAKE IAN A DICKHEAD? Well, presumably for more dramatic tension, as Babs once again scrubs at her hands with Ian’s handkerchief like Lady Macbeth, but still, UGH. Back in ‘the pipe of black drapes’ (thank you, infotext), the Doctor is bloody knackered but persevering. Meanwhile, Ian is offscreen trying to figure out how to open the briefcase and refusing Barbara’s help. Because I swear to god the 1960s make Ian a bellend. He isn’t being particularly Sciency, but is just pushing the clasp; Babs suggest he tries right to left; ‘great minds think alike’, quoth Ian. BUT OH WHAT’S THIS? IT’S A GIANT FLY! MOVING AROUND LIKE THE ANIMATRONIC MARVEL IT IS JUST BEHIND BARBARA…WHO HASN’T SEEN IT! Ian opens the briefcase in manly triumph, but is somewhat deflated to discover that Babs is not sharing in his victory. That is because she is now staring at the giant fly with an expression on her face that is more resigned than terrified. As she backs away…SHE SWOONS! We have a swoon! Because this is what Barbara does in this serial. Mostly because she’s, Y’KNOW, DYING, but I don’t like how everyone’s meant to not notice she’s ill because ladies just swoon when they see giant flies. Especially ladies who have taken on Daleks and brains in jars and all manner of unsavoury characters without having had a fit of the vapours; it’s just what they do.

Enter Ian; the fly buzzes off, and he once again showcases his excellent fireman’s lift technique as he hoists Babs over his shoulder to…safety? I dunno, AWAY. Oh but here come Smithers and Forester. Smithers sasses Forester about being so dumb he’s not noticed the blood all over the patio, then assures him that he’s just in it For The Science. And he has Crazy Eyes just so we know how much he’s in it For The Science. AAAAAH and here comes possibly my favourite of the Giant Sets: THE SINK. With an actual plughole! Out of which the Doctor and Susan have clambered, and next to which the Doctor is currently lying flat on his back looking absolutely fucking knackered. Never before has a Doctor been so relatable when it comes to physical exertion. Soon, however, he’s giving Susan a lesson about echo chambers (the sink is acting like one) and admitting to not having a Scooby as to the whereabouts or indeed condition of the Space Baes.

And OH infotext, you have more gems for me: apparently, when Babs woke up from her swoon in the script, she struggled more against the Chesterton Shoulder Grab (applied with the superhuman reflexes of a man waiting for the Bae to regain consciousness) because she thought it was the fly savaging her—a thought conveyed through the following words: IS THIS THE GHASTLY EMBRACE? Oh Louis Marks. Calmed by Ian’s slightly less ghastly embrace, Babs establishes her ok-ness, while Ian tells her she gave him ‘the fright of his life’ when he saw her standing lying there. Which is to be expected, because he loves you yeahhhh yeahhh yeahhhh. (Sorry, I’ll stop making Beatles jokes.) Oh Ian, babes, I’m glad you’re telling her about your Feelings but right now she’s more concerned about the whereabouts of the fly. Which buzzed off when the humans scared it...ONTO THE PILE OF SEEDS, WHERE IT LANDED AND DIED INSTANTLY. RUH-ROH. Babs, understandably shitting herself, demands to see the dead fly; Ian once again mistakes Barbara being legit worried about dying (BUT NOT TELLING ANYONE) for Barbara just being morbid, and tries to get into the mood, relishing telling her how it must have died the moment it landed. I…I can’t even lambast Ian for being an insensitive dick here, because reading his OTT speculations as to the fly’s hideous demise as a response to Babs staring at the dead fly like he’s trying to indulge Babs in her increasingly Susan-like antics is just too funny. Though BOY does he get it wrong: Babs yells at him to stop it and turns away having mild hysterics. And Ian is just like ‘IAN DID BAD THING!?’, trotting over to her side like a concerned puppy. Pausing only to touch his hands with her insecticide-infected hands without consequence—in much the same way that the Doctor gets the smelly insecticide on him from that dead bee with no harm done (ARGH!)—Babs looks like she’s about to stop being a tit and tell him she’s dying, when… DAMMIT SUSAN! An amplified voice calls the humans’ names. Ian asks what Babs was about to tell him, and instead of telling him like a sensible person, Babs’s face lights up and she says it doesn’t matter because if they’ve found Susan it means they can get back to the ship. WHICH HELPS YOU HOW, BABS? I mean I’ve seen the end of this serial so I know getting back to the Tardis will indeed make everything ok, but do you at this point!?!? Ian punches her on the chin in delight, and off they pop in search of their Space Daughter.

Presenting: The Chesterton Chin Punch

Back in the sink, the Doctor is mansplaining acoustics to Susan the super-advanced space child who knows this baby science like the back of her hand. But hey, the Beeb has to inform its audience, so Susan has to be dumb again. Over the edge of the sink appear our two favourite teachers, and Susan is so excited to see them she has to hug her grandfather a bit. Babs and Ian marvel at their having managed to climb that drainpipe, and look cheery at the prospect of climbing down it, the loons. But first they have to climb down what is to them a thirty-foot plug chain down to the sink; Ian asks Babs whether she thinks she can make it; Babs cheerily reckons she can, and that it’ll be worth it just to Susan and the Doctor again. FAMILY. In your face, Chesterton. Who insists on going first. Outside, Smithers and Forester are clearing up the blood…which is now all over their hands so OH EM GEE THEY NEED TO USE THE SINK. And sure enough, the Doctor alerts the gang to the low rumbling of giant human voices. Babs and Ian scarper back up the chain, and the Gallifreyans jump back down the plughole. How tense! Smithers spots the dead fly and is enormously enthusiastic about the effects of DN6. Apparently he doesn’t now Farrow was trying to stop it because it worked too well. Back in the briefcase, the humans emerge and observe with some consternation that the tap is on…and OH MY GOODNESS SMITHERS HAS PULLED THE PLUG PUT AND SUSAN AND THE DOCTOR WILL BE DROWNED FOR SURE!

WILL THE GALLIFREYANS SURVIVE THIS ORDEAL BY WATER? WILL BARBARA STOP BEING A PRAT AND ACTUALLY TELL SOMEONE SHE'S DEFINITELY PROBABLY DYING AT SOME POINT? WILL IAN INVENT STILL MORE WEIRDLY COMBATIVE GESTURES OF AFFECTION/COMFORT TO MATCH THE CHESTERTON NECK PINCH, THE CHESTERTON SHOULDER RUB, AND THE CHESTERTON CHIN PUNCH? WILL THE GANG EVER GET BACK TO THEIR NORMAL SIZE, OR WILL THEY BE KNEE HIGH TO THUMBELINA FOR ALL ETERNITY? Summary (as applicable to this episode) Does it pass the Bechdel test? By a cat's whisker and only because I'm feeling generous. Is the gaze problematic? Nope. Is/are the woman companion(s) dressed 'for the Dads'? Nope. High necks and dungarees all round. Does a woman fall over/twist her ankle (whilst running from peril)? YUP (yup). Does a woman wander off alone for the sole dramatic purpose of getting into trouble so she can be rescued later? Nope. Though Barbara loitering behind for the sole dramatic purpose of getting into trouble so she can be a plot point later is a variant of the same. Is/are the woman companion(s) captured? Both Ian and Barbara are sort of captured when they're carried off in a briefcase. Does the Doctor/a man companion/any other man have to rescue the woman companion(s) from peril? Ian has to fireman's lift Babs...somewhere? Is a woman placed under threat of actual bodily harm? Yup. Babs is now dying. Does a woman have to deal with a sexual predator? Nope. Is/are the woman companion's/s' first/only reaction(s) to peril gratuitous screaming? No, but there is swooning. Does a woman faint at the sight of peril/horror or generally lose consciousness (discounting normal sleep)? Yes. Though a case could be made for Barbara's fainting fit as an early symptom of having been poisoned by insecticide. Does a woman companion go into hysterics over something reasonably minor? To Ian, Babs probably goes into hysterics over something relatively minor, but we know she's freaking out because she knows she's probably going to die.

Is a woman 'spared' the ordeal of having to do/witness something unpleasant by a man who makes a decision on her behalf/keeps her deliberately ignorant? Nope, this week it's Babs not letting on. Which brings me to another new category... Does a woman suffer in silence (to further the plot)? AND HOW. Does a man automatically disbelieve or belittle something a woman (companion) says happened to her? Yes ish, as Ian refuses to believe that Susan and he have been shrunk. Does a man talk over a woman or talk about a woman as though she isn't there? Not enormously.

Does the woman companion have to be calmed/comforted by the Doctor/a man companion/a man? Yup.

Is a woman the first/only person to be (most gratuitously) menaced by the episode's antagonist(s)? Yup. Babs and the insecticide. Though the Doctor and Susan are menaced a fair amount by the whole plughole situation.

Is a man shamed into doing/not doing something because the alternative is a woman doing/not doing something? No. The Doctor is actually motivated by empathy in his climbing endeavours this week.

Does the woman companion come up with a plan? No. And as the infotext tells us, Babs's plan about paperclips is actually given to Ian in the revised script. BOO.

Does the woman companion do something stupid/banal/weird which inspires a man to be a Man with a Plan? Babs banging her knee on a paperclip gives Ian the paperclip ladder idea, though see above for how this was actually Barbara's idea originally.

Does a woman come up with a theory and is it ridiculed by the Doctor/a man? No.

Does a woman call the Doctor out on his bullshit? No need this week.

Does a woman get to be a badass? No. Well, Susan a bit, with the whole scaling-a-drainpipe thing, though so does the Doctor.

Is the young, strong, straight, white male lead the person most often in control of the situation? No.

Is there past/future/alien sexism? It's the present day, so N/A.

Does a 'present'-day character call anybody out on past/future/alien sexism? N/A. Does an past/future/alien person have the hots for a woman companion and is it reciprocated? N/A.

Did a woman write/direct/produce this episode? No/No/Yes.

Verdict

More entertaining than last episode, but CHRIST ON A BIKE the humans are dumb this week. Barbara doesn't tell Ian she's probably dying PURELY to rack up the dramatic tension and (later) get Team Tardis invested in the whole insecticide plot, and Ian (who ought to know Babs better by now) fails to notice that a) she's not just being morbid this week and b) she's wandering around with his handkerchief that must surely have that distinctive smell of insecticide all over it (as must she). I do appreciate all the little moments the humans have had this week dealing with reality slapping them in the face (Babs catching herself talking about shinning down a workbench on a reel of cotton and almost losing it is one of my favourite moments this week), and I really appreciate this ongoing thread (no pun intended) of them having to deal with not only danger but also situations that are so ridiculous as to rob them of all human dignity. The sets are particularly gorgeous this week (LOVE THAT SINK SET), and I adore the Doctor's little pep talk to Susan in which he actually shows empathy towards his humans. Susan has a lot of gumption this week and is adorable when she's waving up from the sink, but I really don't appreciate it when the writers make her dumb so the Doctor can educate the kids at home. Next week, let's not have women being uncharacteristically stupid just to further the plot, ok? Ok.

8 notes · View notes