#a hyper fixation is capable of teaching you anything :)

[onyxmistkes]

originally colored this in black and white but then decided to play with gradient maps and i really liked this one, it makes it feel all cozy

i don't know when i gained the ability to draw backgrounds but I'm not gonna question it and maybe i can keep the streak going

[filipinoizukuu]

Pls share about the Gospel of Judas 👀

, im SO glad someone asked because this topic is nigh always pingponging around in my head and the fact i get to ramble about it means the WORLD to me. TW ahead for canon-typical violence, gore, and other such discussions of all that fun heretical stuff!

 Now, to preface this, I just wanted to say that I’m not a licensed professional in anything related to theology nor religion nor historical artifacts. I am. as we all are deep down inside, a simple teenager with ridiculous hyper-fixations and a vast ocean of random information that will not be of any importance to my career or home life whatsoever. Easily, many of the things I talk about could either be wrong or debunked, but I will try my best to explain the Book of Judas as I understood it.

Among the many books that make up what we know as the Bible today, there were various seemingly ‘missing perspectives’ and inconsistencies that existed between gospels. One of the reasons for this was the fact that the Bible in and of itself was a compiled work that was originally recorded years after the oral tradition had passed. What is or isn’t ‘canon’ often depended on the rulings of past Popes who worked with historians to determine the authenticity of ancient artifacts that either proved or contested the canonical teachings of the Bible--one of the more popular debunked samples being The Shroud of Turin, which while being ruled as a fake by Pope Clement the VII a long time ago, still has its authenticity being debated until today.

It’s important to remember that the canon status of ancient artifacts. while somewhat reliant on Papal confirmation, can sometimes be contested and interpreted to each individual’s discretion.

And among all of these artifacts, there is my favorite one of all--The Book of Judas. Now, factually speaking, the Gospel of Judas was written in (somewhere between 2 to) 5 A.D., not actually that farfetched considering that only in 1 A.D. was the first version of the Bible we know today written. It was found somewhere in Ancient Egypt but was declared as fiction at some point in 180 A.D. by St. Iranaeus of Lyon. To understand the impact that The Book of Judas would have on the Bible (which, to put it simply, was revolutionary), you’d first have to have a quick review and understanding of who Judas Iscariot was in the gospels that we know today. 

Judas was a disciple.

He was one of the 12 disciples that were closest to Jesus and a disciple that most accounts of the story would say actually truly deeply loved him at some point. Judas was, as all memes about Christianity are fond of reminding, also the traitor that eventually chose money and greed over his love for God’s son and turned him in with a kiss in a garden that led to Jesus Christ’s death at the cross.

That is until you read the translations of the Book of Judas.

In the original books--whether it was because he was possessed by the Devil or simply a man who had fallen into greed--Judas was portrayed to be a sinner and a horrible traitor. After his betrayal and Jesus’ eventual death, Judas had then become guilt-ridden and anguished, choosing to end his own life in the Gospel of Matthew and even tarnishing a field with his blood and sins according to St. Luke in Acts. 

The Book of Judas, however, CHALLENGES these motives. Instead, it takes what brought all past Christian texts together by changing the portrayal of Judas on its head and putting the previous ‘traitor’ under the light of something else entirely.

According to the Book of Judas, Jesus had asked Judas to betray him.

The 26-page manuscript was a brief retelling of the dynamics we were lead to believe in the story told by the main four books. In the Book of Judas, we were told that the original other 12 disciples were actually quite... foolish. They were described to be sort of arrogant and clueless, constantly misinterpreting and forgetting Jesus’ words because while he was teaching them to be better and to spread the words of God, the disciples were still, at their core, human sinners. The manuscript was believed to have reported that of the disciples that were closest, or at least best tolerated by Jesus--Judas was by far the most understanding of His words.

Judas, in accordance with his book, was the only one who could understand the significance and cryptic lessons behind Jesus’ teachings. Because of this, Jesus knew he was the only capable one to serve him in what was to come.

You see, part of the prophecy was that Jesus had to die. He had to suffer and fall for humanity’s sake so that we would be able to be forgiven. As much as it sucks to even think about it, Jesus had come to expect that someone would need to cause his death and hurt him all so that he could fulfill his purpose.

In the end, he thought that death by the hand of an enemy was far worse than a death at the hands of a friend.

During the Last Supper, Jesus approached Judas and placed him into a vision. He placed Judas in a fantastical, wonderful dream where Judas sat facing the house of heaven and saw Jesus. Jesus, who looked at his beloved friend and said: “you will exceed all of them. For you will sacrifice the man that clothes me.” Judas will exceed all of them. And he will sacrifice the man that clothed Jesus.

In this interpretation, Judas was essentially told that he was the one who would finally free Jesus from his physical form. Judas, the supposed traitor disciple, would be the one to fulfill Jesus’ prophecy and thus sacrificed his beloved friend to bring about forgiveness for humanity.

And he understands.

In this manuscript, Judas Iscariot understands the will of God and what he has to do. He understands the weight of his betrayal and what he has to do in order to obey Jesus--so then it isn’t money or fear or anger or evil that motivates him to surrender Jesus to the soldiers but utter obedience and adoration for the Son of God. Judas gives his ‘yes’, knowing that for years and years he will be slandered and labeled as a traitor but at his core, Judas knows that it was not a betrayal to begin with.

So he led the soldiers to Jesus in the garden. He kissed him and let him be taken away and let him die.

-

This was the official translation approved by BBC and National Geographic according to the original translations done by Stephen Emmel, a Coptic studies professional.

Later on, this interpretation would be challenged by Dr. April DeConick, who claims that the mistreatment and mistranslation of the paper actually told the complete opposite, in the way that the revelation in the Last Supper was not created by Jesus but, in fact, by Judas, who had revealed himself to be the 13th demon of hell. This interpretation, while less popular, served as a direct challenge to the recharacterization BBC and NatGeo had approved of. I don’t really know too much about this debate, but I do know that this second interpretation does exist.

Of course, the original Judas text itself is currently impossible to truly translate to be sure. It was torn and shuffled, put into a freezer, and possibly even missing a few pages (which you can blame Bruce Ferinni for), ultimately making the authentic manuscript really difficult to properly restore.

The takeaway from this whole Book though--whether you accept it as canon or not--is that there were many interpretations and beliefs early Christians and Gnostics had that the time that criticized the way the four main gospels had passed down God’s teachings. People believed what they thought supported their own beliefs and at the end of the day. it's all still just a matter of who we choose to credit.

The real author to the Book of Judas remains anonymous to this day, but I am very glad to have been able to share this with you all :) 

not proofread since i did this at like 4 am    |    x   x   x

[cherriesradio]

Poly! SFW alphabet Sero + Denki !!

Credit for the template to @the-coldest-goodbye !!

Warnings: slight angst

Word Count: 1.7k

A = Affection

Sero isn’t TOO affectionate, he like giving you + Denki affection but doesn’t really love getting it himself :/ which is fine, but both of you wanna spoil him SO BAD

Denki is VERY affectionate!!! Whenever he’s walking by he’ll kiss the others cheek/shoulder, and he’ll hug them from behind when their cooking, hold both of your hands in public, unless one of you ask him not too

B = Best Friend

Sero was first friends with Denki but eventually you got into their friendship, and he adored you since the beginning. You were so funny and cute and even if you aren’t smart he doesn’t really care, he’s friends with Denki after all.

Denki was friends with you since you were kids but you transferred to UA in the middle of first year. He introduced you to Sero :) he loves doing “favors” as he puts them, like buy you snacks and will get anything you need from the store if he can afford it (will likely use his whole allowance on you two)

C = Cuddles

Again, Sero isn’t to into getting affection. He’s mostly the big spoon but if he’s feeling bad that day/night/afternoon he’ll ask if he can lay his head on you or Denki’s chest

Denki loves cuddles, at first he would accidentally shock you two because he got to excited. Is often in the middle of all three of you are cuddling. All three of you mostly cuddle at night, most other times it’s just you and Denki, sometimes while Sero does work and play music in the background :)

D = Domestic

Sero cooks the most cause he’s the only one who wasn’t scared to cook with Bakugo. He’s not near as good as him but he can still cook. He hates cleaning but will remind you and Denki when you clean the apartment.

Denki doesn’t mind clean but HATES washing the dishes. If it’s his turn he just shoved everything in the dishwasher that barely works because he broke it ten times and tried (his best) to fix it.

E = Ending

Sero, if he broke it off, would break it off really gently. He would be really nervous and you both would try to hold his hand but he would shake them off, softly mutter “I’m not happy like this anymore.”

Denki would be overwhelmed. He would be fidgety most of the day, he’s the type who gets so comfortable he can’t imagine leaving. So he just keeps it in till you two start noticing that he’s fidgety and nervous a lot and then finally tells you two.

F = Fiancé’s

Sero isn’t very sure. He’s scared of commitment but in the end realizes that he wants to be with you two for his whole life, and that he is a better person because of you both.

Since the start Denki wanted to marry you both, but he thought of it as teenage bliss. But once you were out of college and hero’s, and you were still together, he brought up marriage.

G = Gentle

Sero is often gentle. He can play around really wild but at home when it’s chill he’s really soft and sleepy often times. But he does admit that he once gave Denki a bruise from playing to hard-

Denki is capable of being gentle. If he’s cuddling or comforting one of you, he’s really gentle and soft spoken. But other times he’ll poke your sides and zap you, or play wrestle.

H = Hugs

Even if he’s not too into affection, he’s really good at it. He does that thing where he wraps his arm around your middle and then the other is sat on your head, probably accidentally pushing you into his neck.

Denki loves to pick you two up and spin you around when he’s excited!!! When he’s a little more ~chillax~ he’ll pick you up wrap your legs around his waist and wzhrdkkeasjpifvfwqwonf

I = “I love you two.”

Tbh Sero said dropped L-bombs even when you were just friends. A lot of the time when you made him laugh is would get out and a few years into the relationship he admits that he meant it almost everytime

Denki says it pretty early into the relationship. Not like “we’ve gone on three dates and I’m in love with you” kinda thing but a about two months in he says he thinks he’s in love. You and Sero say that your not sure if your ready to sya it yet, and he’s completely okay with it.

J = Jealous

Neither of them get jealous of each other. There have been times before you all got together when they would get a little mad at other people for checking you out (and you would too lol) and start getting extra clingy but besides that their chill.

K = Kisses

Sero is the one more into on-the-mouth kisses. By that I’m not saying he needs them constantly, I’m saying he likes them more then Denki. He often uses quick pecks as hellos and longing, “you probably lay in bed tonight TJ knowing of it” kisses. If he’s bored he does those Spider-Man kisses, and if your a little to far he’ll use his tape to pull you over.

Denki isn’t as into on-the-mouth kisses. When you were only friends you had a inside joke where he would kiss both of your hands when greeting you both. As I said before he likes kissing your cheeks and foreheads, ADORES the “getting both cheek kissed at the same time” kisses!!!

L = Little Ones

They both LOVE Gravity Falls. There are way to many times they babysat Eri and either played Gravity Falls or sung the karaoke song. Basically their only experiences with kids is Eri???

M = Mornings

Denki and Sero and total bed heads and refuse to get out of bed before like, 9:59. You usually get up before them and make them both coffee, and I love the idea of getting sticky notes and labeling their mugs, a doodling on them. Like with Denki it would be little lightning bolts and with Sero it would be flex tape.

N = Nights

All of you go to bed at a pretty normal time, around 10 or 11, but… Denki. Denki is for sure the type who will not fall asleep in like ten minutes and then would get on his phones cause he “can’t sleep” and wake you and Sero up.

O = Opening up

When you were just friends you all got pretty close. You and Sero knew about Denkis ADHD, you and Denki knew about Sero’s insecurities about his quirk, they knew your past.

But when it turned romantic and even closer is when they really got how every felt, starts ranting for hours about how they felt and how it affects them now.

P = Patience

Neither of them get angry that easy, even if you do something that would upset them they end up thinking it’s a joke :/

Which does become a problem, but you all put effort into talking to each other about problems.

Q = Quizzes

Sero remembers really little things - like what your favorite emoji is and your favorite pop tart flavors - but it’s hard for him to remember bigger stuff like… your parents names :-/

Denki is the opposite. He’ll remember if you like the same thing, but it’s easier for him to remember stuff if you mention it more. Like, around you birthday Sero would remind him every day “hey Y/n’s birthday is in a few days.” So he would remember.

R = Remember

One of your favorite memories is going to this ice cream shop. It’s not like it was the specialist place or gloriously beautiful, but it shows your dynamic well. Denki kept poking you and zapping, and Sero pulled so many jokes and puns. You giggled and then showered them in attention as soon as you got home.

S = Security

Sero is pretty good at protecting you. If he feels a threat, he’ll just wrap his arm around your waist and hold his other arm to where you can clearly recognize him as a hero.

Denki is VERY protective. Because of his ADHD (a headcanon), he once hyper-fixated on how many people get robbed and how many girls get raped and how many poc get killed out on the streets. He used to be more worried about himself but now he gets really scared for you and Sero.

T = Try

Sero usually makes casual dates. Like quick walk before work, or a home cooked dinner. But sometimes he’ll plan out big dates for holidays and anniversaries.

He makes the weirdest excuses for planning big dates. “Its national national cream puff day we need to go to the fancy restaurant down the road and get some.”

U = Ugly

DENKI USES SO MUCH TEXT SPEAK I SWEAR

Sero always does his errands at rush hour???

They both where the ugliest shoes JUST to annoy you.

V = Vanity

Sero does not care to much for his looks. He used to be insecure about his looks as a teen but since then you and Denki shower him in compliments so all of the insecurities died away after a bit.

W = Whole

Sero wouldn’t. He’s become a better persona FB happier because of both of you. He can’t imagine losing you both. He has nightmares sometimes about you two dying or breaking up with him, and it’s breaks him.

Denki wouldn’t either. He thinks he would barely be able to function by himself without you two. He associates you both with his growth and how much you all have improved over the years.

X = Xtra

They randomly get obsessed with random things. One day you’ll come home to them trying to teach themselves the ukulele, or trying to bake but making a huge mess, or trying to code.

Y = Yuck

Sero hates pda. At least involving him. He doesn’t care if you and Denki heckin make out in public, just don’t do it in front of him.

Denki doesn’t like how much work you both have. He can make big hits and break off up to hundreds of people at once, so he didn’t have to stay at work to long. But you and Sero care a bit more than him (he still cares tho) and he hates just sitting at home alone.

Z = Zzzz

Denki stays up late a lot from staying on his phone, but if you and Sero really commit to ~cuddles~ than he’s willing.

Reblogs appreciated!!

[theflannelwizard]

Miss Simian teaches the Special Accommodations class

First off, I would like to say that I am neurodivergent, and most of these headcanons are based off my own experiences. If I do accidentally phrase something in a way that offends you, please let me know so I can fix it! Thanks to @onceuponymous to chatting with me about this before I posted it! I will also say that TAWOG is my current hyper fixation, so this might end up being a rather long post! I’ll try to use bold and italics so my fellow neurodivergent fans have an easier time reading it if they want to :)

I think Miss Simian’s class is full of the neurodivergent kids in Elmore Jr. High. This would explain why Darwin and Gumball are in the same class, despite being two years apart in age, and why they are so blind to the rest of the school. They have their routine and their class, and they are purposefully on a separate schedule than the other students. This would also explain why Gumball and Darwin are so frequently sent to the guidance counselor for their outbursts instead of to the principal.

Almost all if not all of the students in her class exhibit common symptoms of neurodivergence, including (but not limited to) having trouble communicating, hyper fixating or having special interests, masking or feeling like the world won't like, understand, or accept them if they don’t put on a persona, fidgeting or stimming, having trouble with focus, expressing emotion intensely or in unique ways, and either adhering to a strict schedule or behaving impulsively.

Let’s start with trouble communicating. This is an obvious and easy one- almost none of Gumball’s classmates communicate in a neurotypical fashion. Juke and William have extreme trouble communicating verbally, and although Juke realizes this, he keeps trying but is unable to “switch” himself to an easily understood language. William doesn’t even realize he is unheard until Gumball declares he is silent.  Banana Joe, Bobert, Sussie, and Jamie all speak in special dialects or patterns that are understandable but set them apart from what would be considered “normal.” Jamie’s is the least obvious, but I would argue that her reliance on threats, often delivered using the same formula, is a unique speech pattern that could have developed in part due to her parentage/home life and in part due to trouble communicating. Gumball has no problem with speaking in an understandable way, but he does have trouble expressing his emotions- he either locks them down or goes over the top with grand declarations and gestures. Likewise, Darwin is able to express himself rather clearly, but he canonically has trouble “learning facial expressions” and is often blind to sarcasm and manipulation, as are many of his classmates. Some students are on the end of the spectrum where they may not have trouble speaking, but they do have trouble reading social cues. For example, Molly is eager to talk to her friends, but can’t always tell whether they are engaged with her stories and doesn’t know when to stop talking. Sarah doesn’t have a clear understanding of boundaries, and neither do Tobias, Sussie, Banana Joe, Teri, Tina, Clayton, Ocho, Gumball, or Alan (despite having good intentions, he often fails to set boundaries for himself, and that’s just as important to notice as those who intrude or don’t understand boundaries for others). In fact, I would argue the entire class has, at some point, shown that they have trouble setting or anticipating healthy boundaries. Once boundaries have been clearly set, they usually are able and willing to respect them, but they can’t always tell on their own what another person is okay with.

Now for hyper fixations and special interests. I would say Teri is one of the most obvious here, with her extensive knowledge of germs and cleanliness. She’s more than just a germaphobe, she has studied hygiene and is obsessive to a point of rarely talking about anything else. Alan could likely be fixated on activism or the general concept of goodness, working overtime to make himself into the most helpful and positive person he can be. Sarah’s fangirl persona goes hand in hand with a fixation on comics, anime, and/or manga. I would even say Carrie’s intense dedication to goth/emo culture could be considered a special interest, and Leslie has a similar relationship to fashion, beauty, and the (heavily coded) LGBT community. Tobias’ obsession with video games has canonically gotten so intense that he neglected basic needs such as sleep- a classic example of hyper fixation. 

As far as masking and persona goes, many of the points I’m about to make could be seen as simple stereotyping to make the characters distinct. I choose to interpret it differently. Gumball, Penny, Tobias, Carrie, Masami, Tina, Clayton, and Ocho have all had arcs or significant moments where they were either revealed to have interests or personality traits that were in direct contrast with their outward persona or revealed to think people wouldn’t like “the real them” as much as the act they put on. For example, Penny was terrified to come out of her shell, Tina doesn’t intend to be a bully but comes off as one due to her menacing mask (for self protection, perhaps, so she doesn’t get bullied herself?), and Ocho admits he has trust issues due to being used for his uncles and not respected unless he puts on an intense and aggressive front. Other students build their identities around a single aspect of themself, either something that they find important or something that they expect will be liked or respected. Tobias, Leslie, Carrie, Alan, Jamie, Tina, Idaho, Sarah, Bobert, Banana Joe, and Masami fall easily into stereotypes and seem to be glad to do so. Clayton goes so far as to commit identity theft simply so no one will see his true self and dislike him. Clayton’s compulsive lying is also a symptom of ADHD.

I’m not going to write a whole paragraph on fidgeting/stimming and focus, because I don’t think there’s too much to analyze or dissect there, but if you go back and watch any episode, you’ll likely notice that many of the characters are easily distracted and/or have unique body movements, postures, or phrases that they tend to repeat. I also think impulsivity and routine is so important to the plot that it doesn’t need to be discussed, but was worth a brief mention.

Let’s talk about emotions! Gumball has the classic neurodivergent experience of either bottling up his emotions with no idea how to express them or going over the top with grand declarations and gestures. He feels things very intensely, as shown by his often dramatic reactions, but isn’t always sure how to process or express them. Darwin is always on one extreme of that scale, with no filter as to how he expresses and feels things. He is unafraid to cry in public, declare that something makes him feel good or bad, or say very bluntly what needs to be done to make him feel better (eg declaring he responds well to positive reinforcement- that sounds like therapist or guidance counselor language to me! Good job, Darwin! I wish I was as clear as you!). Likewise, Penny is prone to meltdowns after she breaks out of her shell, and she is so intensely emotional that she messes up her (likely well-rehearsed) cheer tryout due to being rejected by Gumball, and her physical form changes based on emotion. Banana Joe, Carrie, Masami, Sarah, arguably Anton, Carmen, Teri, Tina, Hector, and Sussie also express their intense emotions in big and obvious ways. Some examples include Masami’s meltdown in The Storm, Teri’s tendency to faint or cry, Carmen’s outburst (possibly a meltdown or breakdown) at her old school, and Tina’s tendency to use violence and anger as a first response when upset, even in “small” ways. (Note- I put small in quotes because something like being told it’s a waste of time to get piano lessons might not feel small to her, and could indeed warrant chasing and attacking Gumball.) On the other side of the scale, we have characters like Alan, Idaho, Bobert, Molly, Leslie, and Hector (again, as he behaves differently with or without his music box), who are capable of being dramatic or expressing emotion, but won’t acknowledge their feelings directly and might even be perceived as not having (many) emotions. For instance, Bobert is often referred to as not having emotions or not being a real person, a harmful stereotype against autistic folks, which is increased by the fact that he is a robot, which autistic folks are sometimes unfairly compared to. Alan is seemingly incapable of feeling negative emotions, to the point where his loss of hope wrecks Elmore, implying that he has a mental or emotional block from feeling and expressing these emotions. Molly references her “special dark place,” implying that she does get emotionally or sensorially overwhelmed, but has no way to express her needs (or lacks the confidence to do so) and would rather remove herself from a situation. Leslie is the most dramatic of the characters with emotional blocks or low emotional expression, but I would argue that since he never openly owns or discusses his emotions, (verbally or otherwise,) and instead turns to petty drama or denial, he also belongs in this category.

TL;DR: Most if not all of Miss Simian’s students exhibit classic symptoms of neurodivergence, be it autism, adhd, or both. Hopefully the many (x character) has (x diagnosis) posts I’ve seen floating around can supplement this theory! And of course, if you don’t buy this interpretation or just don’t like it, you don’t have to agree with me! But I think the idea of TAWOG having a majority neurodivergent cast is comforting, fun, and canon-compliant. :)

[jyndor]

the tied to a tree scene was funny for me because that's where I realized "OH. I bet people ship them. EW." and I still see that scene as not even remotely friendly, much less romantic, but I just love the GROWTH! zuko needs the redemption arc before he can be with katara. and then I ship them.

a million percent correct take, let me hyper fixate on this shit lol.

so I started watching in book 2, so I was already aware of a bit of the Growth that had taken place when I saw that scene, but it was still... not a shippy moment for me, you know? I mean bdsm isn’t my thing but that scene is not comparable to bdsm which I believe requires consent and communication, none of which is what we see in that scene, and also blegh they’re children LMAO like they’re kids. I feel gross just making that point. but I think that scene is where a lot of the grosser zutara fic comes from, and it just... warms my little queer heart to not see that shit anymore. like I’m sure it is still being written, but people do learn and unlearn, and that is evident in the most popular fanfic sub genres right now not being slave fic or captivity fic (eurghhhh).

people can and should criticize that shit. I am not the kind of person who is cool with uncritically engaging with media, I can’t do it. and that shouldn’t shock any of my followers lmao. but also, that isn’t the whole of zutara; in fact it’s barely a part of it at this point. and it should only be a part of their personal history insofar as he did that to her and then he learned to be better lmao. just like anything he did to aang or sokka or toph, or anyone!

anon, you’re right. part of the reason I love zutara is because of the GROWTH! you’re a million percent correct, zero percent wrong. because zuko works to earn katara’s forgiveness since he recognizes that while he was not directly responsible for the trauma of losing her mother at a young age to the cruelty of the fire lord (a trauma he shares, albeit differently) he IS directly responsible for betraying her trust in the catacombs of change and empathy. he knows that. and I don’t think him being frustrating that she won’t forgive him means that he feels entitled to her forgiveness, he just wants their relationship to be better. like who among us burst from the womb being emotionally mature? not I.

katara is not just willing to forgive people who have both benefited from and also been marginalized by fire nation imperialism - she is pretty quick to do so. like, this might be an effect of white americans writing an indigenous girl’s story in the first place, but she is able to take an intersectional view on oppression - that once it becomes clear that zuko is a victim to fire nation imperialism, perhaps even moreso than he is a benefactor of it, she is like not just willing to forgive him, but actively BONDS with him, despite of their antagonistic history.

katara is not mad at him in book 3 because of how he behaved prior to the crystal catacombs, or because he is fire nation. if she was, she wouldn’t have gone all painted lady for a town of people who have KIND OF benefited from what their government did to her people. the townspeople of jang hui are a pretty decent representation of like, poor people in west virginia for instance. not to say they aren’t capable of horrific racism, but if they have benefited from american empire it is... not very much. they are victims of industry and capitalism, and oh boy I have gone on a tangent LMAO let me get back to the point.

zuko hurt katara PERSONALLY. he betrayed her trust which was fully given because of their shared trauma at the hands of the fire nation. katara wanted zuko to be better than he had been because she could tell that he wanted to be better. but he wasn’t ready - he still wanted his father’s acceptance more than anything. and sometimes people aren’t ready to change, and what zuko and katara teach us that it’s not the onus of forgiveness is not on the wronged party, that “I’m sorry” isn’t always enough. and that when we hurt people, we need to actually do the work to be better, and if we do that, the person whose forgiveness we want might actually see reason to forgive.

and zuko recognizes this by the time he joins up with the gaang - he is finally ready to be better, not just because he knows that fire nation supremacy is bullshit, but because he recognizes that what his father can give him is not worth losing who he truly is.

and we know that when he tells ozai to eat shit, he’s finally ready, which is why that moment is SO GOOD. but the gaang doesn’t know that, and none of them is as emotionally invested in zuko as katara is. I imagine that she feels immense guilt about nearly “wasting” the spirit oasis water on his scar right before she needed to use it to save aang because of zuko’s betrayal of her (and iroh but). part of her anger at zuko imo is anger at herself for trusting him so quickly, without him earning her trust. she was the first to trust him, so she had to be the last to forgive him.

I think that applies whether you ship zutara or you think she takes the place of azula as his sister. none of what I just said is inherently shippy. to me the best zutara fic is about what happens AFTER the show, who they can be to each other when they are adults, who have learned more about what they want in life. especially katara. but the backbone of zutara to me is not the dark or sexy whatever fuckin bullshit bryke thinks it is, but the forgiveness and redemption and personal growth that they both experience with each other.

zuko is a highly empathetic person who cares about what she thinks and listens to her. and I get that aang is also highly empathetic. and I don’t want to go down the anti-kataang road because I’ve said what I think about kataang, and I don’t think zutara has to be to the exclusion of kataang existing at some point. this goes for maiko as well, although lol mai is a lesbian mailee forever ANYWAY

when I was sixteen and furious at the ending of atla, I didn’t feel that way. now that I am nearing thirty, it is hilarious to think that people don’t love multiple people during their journeys. that is also GROWTH. finding out what you want from partners. it’s natural for someone to love a partner and then fall out of love, or demand something else that their partner can’t give. or doesn’t want.

it’s the growth that does it for me. and I think people who don’t know zutara fandom might not get that because they don’t read our fic, they don’t see our discourse, and they’re allowed to feel that way, they are allowed to not interact with our shit. idk I’m proud of the zutara fandom for its growth tbh. no fandom is free of racism (fandoms are people) but we have done better, and it shows. we try not to get into it with kataang shippers now, which is a lot better than what it used to be. like I don’t see the ship wars anymore, I know they are raging but I’m beyond that shit.

growth!

[punchfacefist]

A New Chapter: The Restoration

         "Excuse me, but are you Ilirria Lightsong?" Ilirria angled the hefty tome she had been reading to view the source of the question. Standing, and fidgeting quite nervously, was a Blood Elf. She brushed strands of her short, bright gold hair out of her eyes.          "I am," Ilirria answered, marking her place in the tome and setting it down. "How can I help you?"          "You probably don't remember me," the Blood Elf girl answered, "Or, rather, you will remember me, but this may be the first time we've met for you, but you'll know me in the later, since we're meeting now, and I saw you in the then..."          "Breathe," ilirria gestured to the girl to calm down for a moment. "Just tell me your name." The girl paused her thoughts, inhaling deeply, and choked a cough as the smoke in the Wyvern's Tail filled her lungs. She hacked for a moment longer, accepting the offered flask of water Ilirria held out for her.          "I'm Tila," the girl introduced herself, having drained the water skin in one go. "Tiladormi Sunhammer." Ilirria sat back, resting comfortably against the tavern wall. "Don't think we've met."          "Not before, no," Tiladormi answered, "I know you, that much is certain, and you will have need of my help soon." This, in itself, was a bold statement, if Ilirria had ever heard one, and many a time she'd heard her share of bold claims; usually from men who never gave her much say in the date they wanted to take her on. In the end, she turned them all down or stood them up, just to teach them no one speaks for her.          "And what makes you think that?" Ilirria challenged Tiladormi's statement. Tiladormi pointed a manicured finger to the water skin Ilirria offered her, and as if inflated, it grew full and sloshed with water. Tiladormi drained it once more.          "I am a Chronomancer," she answered, "And I've heard you're in need of another Chronomancer's help. And I figured, since the Sunhammer family owes a debt to the Lightsong family, this will repay that debt." Ilirria marked her place in the tome, closed it, and slid to the side of the table, now very much interested in hearing this girl out.          "And what debt would that be?" she finally asked, intrigued to hear this Chronomancer's response. Tiladormi inhaled a moment--careful not to choke any more of the acrid atmosphere of the tavern--and found her words. "Back during the Second War," she began, "Your father saved my mother from a Horde arrow. My mother swore an oath to repay that debt to your family, a debt she couldn't fulfill when the Scourge invaded. It fell to me to repay the debt and fulfill her oath, but I had no idea where or how to find you. Until now." As Tila said all of this, Ilirria sensed her sincerity, the fact she took something this seriously, she knew she meant it. Her face weakened from the bubbly, sweet expression of a girl eager and willing to offer assistance, to someone burdened with a great weight cast on them. Ilirria took a moment as she considered her words, and found herself speechless in the moment. Tiladormi's eyes sparked with a hopeful glint behind them as she looks again to Ilirria. "I'm not fully aware of your whole situation, but I know you're in need of help. And I want to help, Ilirria, more than anything, I want to help you. Not often I get to use my Chronomancy for more than entertaining others." She leaned on the table between her and Ilirria. Ilirria reached forward, taking a hand into hers.          "And I appreciate the offer," she finally answered. "Thank you, Tiladormi. I was hoping for the aid of a Chronomancer to test a hypothesis of mine."          "Is it about your brother Imara'el?" Tila asked without a beat. "I've heard about that, and the Hyper-Temporal Overlap your brothers experienced." She took a beat to summon some knowledge from her mind. "I believe there is a way to restore them. But we'll need them presently to make sure. If you can get in contact with them, tell them to meet us in the Caverns of Time." Ilirria blinked, taken aback at Tila's knowledge. She wondered how much Tila did know already, and how much else she withheld. Perhaps, Ilirria, wondered, she gained some sort of insight from her future self, which would explain her introduction. Within a few days, Imara'el and Istaniel answered Ilirria's summons, and the four met. Imara'el looked unnatural to Ilirria, dressed in ragged mail and holstering a rifle on his back. The Light-bleached hair was replaced with the more natural molten copper she remembered him having at a younger age; he looked so much like mother in those days. Istaniel, on the other hand, was lively and ruggedly handsome, reminding Ilirria of father with the soft brown hair and beard. The brothers Lightsong were so different now, changed entirely. Their unsettling presence to Ilirria didn't help matters in this sandy place, where the air in this arid cavern quivered with an intensity of magic Ilirria could never quite attune herself to. It felt like her very body was a frail leaf in the midst of a swirling storm, the power of it capable of tearing her asunder. Tiladormi, at present, offered some reassurance, seated beside her brushing sand from the pages of her tome.          "So we're here now," Imara'el was the first to speak at this meeting. "What's this all about?"          "This is about helping you two," Tiladormi replied. "Ilirria thinks she may have a way to restore you."          "It's a hypothesis at this point," Ilirria elaborated, "but with Tildormi's help, I might be able to make you whole, the way you were before." The brothers exchanged a glance to one another before returning their attentions to their older sister.          "What makes you think that we aren't whole?" Istaniel asked. "I mean, I was kind of upset and surprised how different this timeline was to my own, but I like it here. I have my sister, I have my brother, I have the Doomguard to serve again. I'm fine with this."          "Same here," Imara'el voiced his protestation. "Lira, I sacrificed myself to keep the whole fabric of reality to from shredding when Kraysh tried to destabilize my existence. I had to merge my body with another Imara'el from another timeline, but his world was doomed from the start. I'm back once more."          "Not for long, though," Tiladormi spoke up. "It's something I noticed the moment I saw you two. No doubt you must have been feeling it recently, too; some headaches that won't go away, nervous convulsions, nausea no doubt."          "What are you talking about?" Ilirria asked.          "Their bodies are deteriorating," Tiladormi answered. "In a way, the destruction of their own timelines is catching up to them. They're deteriorating in the same manner as their own Azeroth. It's only been prolonged because they were shifted from a different timeline. They're slowly, and probably painfully, going to die." The silence that fell upon the siblings Lightsong was palpable and impossible for any of them to break.          "Is it too late to ask for that to not happen?" Imara'el asked finally.          "We will have to make haste to prevent it," Tiladormi responded. "In a few days, we will need to converge in the Bronze Dragonshrine in Northrend. The temporal energies there will be sufficient to draw upon. There we can anchor Ima and Stan back to our timeline and pull versions of them from parallel timelines more stable."           There was a full moon over Northrend, and a chill in the air that conflicted with the warmth of the magic permeating the sandy area of the Bronze Dragonshrine. Ironic, Ilirria thought, that the last place Imara'el was last seen, would be the same place to bring him back. While she was lost in her thoughts, Tiladormi was busily drawing a circle in the sands around them, marking runes and places to stand. She studied the tome levitating beside her, ensuring she drew the markings properly.          "How is this supposed to work?" Stan asked, standing at the edge of the drawn circle.          "For starters, anything you're wearing from this timeline has to be removed," TIladormi answered, still fixated on her tome and drawing the designs in the sand.          "Armor?" Ima asked.          "Armor, weapons, clothes, everything, otherwise it will interfere with the magical frequencies of the ritual."          "Strip down naked in one of the coldest areas of Azeroth," Ima scoffed, "that doesn't sound like a red flag or anything!"          "Don't be such a baby," Ilirria snapped. "I've seen you both naked enough times as children, there's nothing much to look at." The two groaned and stripped. Ilirria leaned over to Tila, who looked like she very much enjoyed the show.          "Is it really necessary?" Ilirria asked concerned, "the whole stripping down, thing?"          "No," Tila shrugged at her and smiled deviously. "But can't say no to a good show, can you?" Lira took a moment to process that. "They're my brothers." she stubbornly reminded Tila. "If anyone has to make my brothers do anything humiliating for my amusement, it's going to be me."          "Fair enough," Tila sighed. "Just have to draw one more rune, and we can begin."          Imara'el and Stan stood side by side stripped naked in the center of the circle drawn in sand. Ilirria stood on the outer edge facing Ima's left shoulder, and Tiladormi doing the same on Istaniel's side. The two mages clapped their hands together, and pressed them palms down into the circle. Ilirria felt the power she held flow up from her depths, coursing through her being and into her arms and hands. Her mana flowed blue through the sand, filling out the circle and drawing it more clearly around her brothers' feet.          "Put more mana into it," Tiladormi instructed. "Once the circle is complete, the ritual will begin." Ilirria doubled her efforts, pouring her mana to flow across the circle. On the other side, she could see the iridescence of Tila's own mana, a bright shade of golden-yellow trace the circle from her side. The outer circles were traced in mana, and channels spiraling center-ward filled and surrounded Ima and Stan. The last lines were drawn, and Ilirria felt as her mana mixed with Tila's. In that moment, she could see TIladormi's life play out before her: a girl blessed by a bronze dragon in disguise at birth, capable of planting a seed, and growing it to bloom, then to wilt, then to revert to seed with but a twitch of her hand. Her parents feared her power, but loved her still. She was so lonely, unable to share her gift with anyone.  She was even worse off when her parents never returned from the Second War. She reminded Ilirria a great lot of herself, what she had and was capable of, and all the ones she loved and lost. The circle shimmered and rippled in the sand, the runes drawn floated and danced upon the area around Ima and Stan. Images, almost like large, unwieldy soap bubbles, formed in the air around the brothers, each one beholding moments in their lives that played out. They were familiar to Ilirria, some more than others, but all the same they were her brothers. She concentrated, and poured her mana forth into the circle.          "Chains of the Timeless," Tiladormi began an incantation, "Tether the vessels to the plane and rewrite the stone upon the past is written. Allow the lost to be found, and reborn upon the plane. I call forth the powers of time to reshape the sands of time." In a brilliant display of her power, Tiladormi's mana in the circle overshadowed Ilirria's, consuming her in the light of her magic. Time stilled. The air was stifling and unmoving. A pillar of light was caught mere yards above Imara'el and Istaniel, like a heavenly bolt of power cast from the Titans themselves. Ilirria could barely move in the thick viscous air, but she could see and feel everything going on. IN the distance, some yards away behind Tila, a shadow looked to be observing the ritual. Something about it felt familiar, the only features Ilirria could make out were the two glowing pinpricks of its eyes, cold and blue, piercing her through to her soul. In the midst of all this, the light bolt descended another few inches. Time resumed. The force of the impact knocked Ilirria backward, to sprawl onto the sand. Her muscles stung, her hands ached and every movement caused her body to cry in protest. Slowly, she picked herself back up, relishing the chance to breathe air in a malleable state rather than a temporal static form. The sand circle was blow clear, erased from the ground which it was drawn, and much like her, Tiladormi was on her back, spread eagle. She glanced about, seeing no sign of her brothers, and her mind raced to understand what could have happened to them.          "Did it work?" she asked, unsure she'd like the answer.          "As well as I could have guessed," Tiladormi answered weakly. "Pretty sure that was what we wanted to happen."          "Then where are my brothers?" Ilirria asked, overwhelmed with panic.          "Exactly where they should be in the world," Tila answered. "We did it, Ilirria. We brought them back." In that moment, Ilirria's hearthstone sounded. It was faint, like static, but through it, she could hear her brother Imara'el's voice. There was no mistaking it, and quickly as it became clearest, it was gone. That gave itself into a truth Ilirria could hardly contain, and was proof enough for her that Tila did exactly what she proved to her. Imara'el had returned.