#a habit to kick

[fiveredlights]

⇆Matilda into Old Habits?

i am so glad you asked this because whenever i was writing the epilogue i kept opening the spin off document and here we are. chuck an alternate universe tag on glitter on the floor, chuck an alternate universe tag on old habits, put them in a blender and you get this…

The thing about the Designated Alternate Universe Driver (DAUD) is that usually, they’re pretty shit.

More often than not, the DAUD’s being sent are junior and reserve drivers from the designated team—why lose two great drivers to be sent into the twenty years into past or future, when you can send two poor, unsuspecting drivers who’ve probably never driven a F1 car more than three times in their life?

Callan negotiated hard with Red Bull when he first signed to their junior team to make sure he had a clause in his contract that prevented him from being the DAUD. Matthew had no clause in his contract and he’s pretty sure Matthew wanted to be the DAUD when he was with McLaren.

He remembers when Matthew was moving up to Red Bull that Daniel had to convince him not to take out the clause that prevented him from being the DAUD.

Why anyone wants to be sent into another universe, Callan will never understand. (But he stopped trying to understand Matthew anymore, so it all tracks.)

Teams work on a rotation according to the last number of the year: 0 for Mercedes, 1 for Red Bull, 2 for Ferrari, 3 for McLaren, 4 for Aston Martin, 5 for RB, 6 for Audi, 7 for Williams, 8 for Alpine and 9 for Haas.

They’ll pluck their drivers, send them off to the FIA to their Alternate Universe Time Keepers Divison (AUTKD) to make sure they’re fit enough to handle being sent through universes, and off they go, returning after the season is over.

There’s meant to be benefits for the team, they’re allowed to exchange as much information from their alternate universe team. Callan heard from Matthew that their DAUD’s brought back information that was practically useless, so.

The DAUD’s are announced at their team’s livery launch, usually without much fanfare. No one really wants to make a big deal out of a driver who’ll spend most of the season struggling and cause the team to drop places in the championship.

He doesn’t even watch the launches now, he usually just rocks up to testing and waits for the DAUD to introduce themselves. But then Charles told George who told him that he should probably watch Ferrari’s launch.

Because once the 2032 DAUD is announced to be Matilda Verstappen-Ricciardo, the whole world promptly loses their shit.

—

“Hey.” Matilda leans over in her chair, where they’re waiting to be set up for the group photo taken at the beginning of the season. He can see Daniel and Max from a distance, their heads sticking out from a gap in the pit lane fence. They’re looking at Matilda like she’s going to disappear at any second. “What’s the deal between you and the Red Bull guy? Matteo?”

Callan’s proud of himself for a split second for not flicking his gaze to look at him before his heart betrays his brain and automatically corrects her. “Matthew.”

“Right. Matthew.” She repeats slowly, dragging out every vowel and consonant of his name. “You two like ex boyfriends or what?”

Next to her, Charles quietly chastises her. “Matilda. You can not ask that.”

Matilda spots Max and Daniel in the pit lane and gives them a wave, receiving a slow and stunned wave back from them, after realising she was actually waving to them, before turning back to Charles.

“Look.” She holds her hands up. “If you didn’t want me to ask questions, then you shouldn’t have given me so many Ferrari hats when I was younger. Really, this is on you.”

She pauses and thinks for a second. “Or I guess, alternate you.”

[expectiations]

.

[eneasbastianini]

which one of you is responsible for the rosquez edit to i love you, im sorry…..

[unholyhymns]

still one of my favorite bits i ever got to commit was pretending not to know who jesus is when a street preacher was evangelizing to me. he was like "do you know who jesus is?" and i had so much time before my next bus and i wanted to know what would happen so i said no. and you know what. he had clearly never been told no to that question before because if i hadn't actually known who jesus was, his baffled and fumbling attempt sure wouldn't have told me. literally reversed the roles. now you get to stand here feeling very uncomfortable and wishing you could be somewhere else because guess what buddy, this is my bus stop, im early (and can catch like five other buses from this exact stop), and im now thoroughly invested in hearing about this mysterious jesus figure. you're locked in here with me. im eating the key as we speak. i will kill us both before i let you out of here.

very highly recommend this bit if you can pull it off and if you have time to kill

[steveyockey]

the thing about some of these emerging problems with like, students using chatgpt to get “facts” that turn out to be completely made up on the spot is that it’s a problem solved as simply as DON’T FUCKING USE CHATGPT. there’s a repeated attitude like we don’t have the CHOICE to disengage from ai, the gig economy, amazon, etc and while that may be true on a certain level, the notion that these things have inextricably wound themselves into our lives to the degree that willingly engaging *directly* with them is impossible to resist is flat out bizarre to anyone who uses them the absolute minimum amount possible. we are not ALL shopping at shein monthly or doordashing a single iced latte every morning! you can and should understand that your actions are your own damn problem!

[lucabyte]

Perceptive kid, I wonder just how much they pretend not to overhear.

[puppetmaster13u]

Meme Prompt 12

[p1nkshield]

Saw a post about the juxtaposition between “disaster boy™️” Richard Grayson and “just a little guy™️” Jason Todd while in “I’m a new mom and I don’t know what I’m doing™️” Brucie’s care and had to add to the conversation

The Richard parenting experience

Bruce: What a nice quiet evening.

Somewhere in the manor: *boom* *crash* *the distinct sound of something very expensive breaking*

Bruce, running full tilt to the source of the noise thinking the manner has been compromised: Is everything okay?!? What’s going-

Robin!Dick, on the floor next to a broken chandelier, a smashed heirloom and a shattered wardrobe: uhhh…Oops?

The Jason parenting experience

Bruce: what a nice quiet evening… too quiet.

Bruce sprints to where his son was last: Jason?

Robin!jason: yes?

Bruce: *oh he’s still there!* what are you doing?

Robin!jason: …reading

Bruce: …oh

Robin!jason: that’s allowed right?

Bruce: yes that’s fine.

[z-ppy]

generation kill bootcamp: wow! what a workout! man these marines are inspiring!

band of brothers bootcamp: they had never been so miserable in their little actor lives

[suja-janee]

Bireena request: 1/5 (request from @/sareenademon)

[khaotunq]

shitty Sand appreciation

[fiveredlights]

please I need that mattllan spinoff. I am BEGGING

all in due time… after the treachery that was writing old habits i’ve made the executive decision to write at least 90% of the fic before posting. i think everyone (and me) would rather six weeks of consecutive posting than six months of me fighting demons, ghosts, other supernatural elements whilst writing.

(if old habits didn’t kill me, it’s 100% going to be the mattlan one.)

but there’s a snippet from an offline chapter below for you to snack on whilst you wait!

Clara walks in, takes one look between Matthew and him and immediately starts groaning. “Honestly you two. Stop it.”

She points at Daniel and he immediately straightens up, which—fair. Clara’s always known how to be a presence when she needs to. “Do you know?” she asks, waving her hand around.

Max nods immediately for both of them, sliding his arm around Daniel. Even now, with so many years between them, he can see the tension melt out of Daniel’s body. How they automatically slot together without any acknowledgment.

Callan wants that, desperately.

“We know,” Max replies and Daniel decidedly does not know until he watches them have their own silent conversation wherein a couple seconds later Daniel perks up and nods affirmatively. “We know too much.”

Matthew holds up his hand. “I don’t know what’s happening.”

Callan starts raising his hand, but Clara locks onto him and stalks right up to him. He hasn’t seen her this angry since he stole a bar of Whittaker’s out of her kitchen when she last came back from visiting their grandparents.

“You put that hand down Callan Merritt or I swear to god—” she starts, but her wife has immediately jumped into action and moved herself into a human shield between him and Clara.

“Sorry.” Lucy Jane has Clara by the waist and steers her away from him. “We haven’t slept properly in days,” she laughs, but it doesn’t quite reach her face. “Toddlers. Am I right?”

Matthew sidles up to him offering a Red Bull. It almost feels like an olive branch. “Do you know what’s happening?” he asks quietly, waving a hand where Clara’s commandeered Daniel and Max into some sort of emotional support circle.

Callan’s phone buzzes. He glosses over it before turning it off. He’ll text him later.

“No,” he lies, turning to Matthew and taking the Red Bull. Add it to the list of grievances he’ll have to atone before death. “I don’t know what she’s on about.”

[buglaur]

i've been playing the game in my own time but i gotta share this lil angel cus she's the cutest toddler my sims have ever had

[ruporas]

nightmares

[worblewobble]

more assorted owb things. dala's from about a month ago

[a--messy--blog]

when you're having a good day and it hits you that stanley probably used to promise himself all the time that he would never become his father and he still unintentionally ended up somewhat looking like and acting like his father, filbrick's suit which was never meant to be his was his signature outfit and everyone had perceived him as a greedy grumpy old man who loves money for most of his life