#a guilty conscience killed the libido

[throwntotheair]

Truly I think, the most poetic way to end this series is for Conrad to go from writing notes on Fuck's door to finally realizing, a clear conscience is its own source of relief

[zelihatrifles]

The Red-Haired Woman

"Perhaps I would even write a novel about the Red-Haired Woman."

Cem Çelik, young naive lover of the Red-Haired Woman, did you know what you would do when your father left you the second time? Did you know about the converging myths of Sophocles and Firdausi and the intricacies of fate and guilt and revenge? Did you even know that your son would kill you and you would end up in that same well where you left your father-like Master to die? Did you know that the day you ran from Master Mahmut, who is sometimes like Jahan’s loving Master Sinan, is also the day you abandoned your yet-unborn Enver?

"He certainly seemed angry enough to be my son"

Abandonment, whether wilful or not, and frustration at absent fathers, and anger, and obstinacy, and escapism by poetry or by mythological paintings, and a desire to hide or kill as well as a craving for affection from the same father and the same son, they all travel across generations, thanks to “the mysterious, melancholy eyes and perfect lips" of the woman in Dante Gabriel Rossetti’s painting as well as of Gülcihan who figures in the male societal conscience as "an ancient memory". Gülcihan’s rebellious position in the fiercely misogynistic society is presented in her relationship to the fathers and sons, as her perception is rarely discussed. Pamuk is not to be blamed, the patriarchal paradigm is.

Enver, with all his enthused religiosity and repressed libido, equates modernity and civilization with fatherlessness, as if the lack of a father as "someone to tell you no" makes way for that licentious liberty which modern values bring in their wake. He would perhaps not have been so willing to choose strict paternal authority over individualism had he not learned that Cem is his father. Öngören’s becoming like Istanbul not only fazes him but makes him actively hate all technological and societal advancement.

But the novel is so much more than a modern retake on poor Oedipus, Sohrab and Rostam. Pamuk presents the incidents as real accounts but the reader never completely knows the truth from archetypal myth and imagination. Memory, prejudice, guilt and shame colour reality and its perceptions by the characters as well as by the reader as they journey together through the novel. Pamuk’s lyrical language heightens the overarching sense of unease and wonder, and ultimately leaves one questioning and marvelling at the enigma of guilty sons and the beauty of the red-haired woman, and wondering:

"Or was I afraid that he might tell me something that would break my heart?"

[gorogues]

Spoilers for Flash #55!

So this is a horror movie story, just in time for Halloween season.

Commander Cold is working at Chyre's Pub as a bartender, because as he points out, he's got to support himself somehow now that he's stuck in this time period.  And even though Barry let him stay at his place, the Commander snarks that it just has "an empty fridge and the biggest collection of bow ties I've ever seen".  I'm quite okay with Barry not wearing bow ties much anymore as they're obviously a tad dated, but it does my heart good when they're remembered!  And Barry gets his revenge when he later tells Detective Burns that the Commander was a suspect in a case of someone stealing dirty underwear.

At Iron Heights, Mick has been seeing a psychologist about his trauma and psychological issues, though he's not very forthcoming about it and seems discouraged.  Sam low-key mocks him for it in a real dick move, and makes a surprising acknowledgement that Lisa escaped prison earlier for that awful appearance in last week's Teen Titans #22...I wasn't expecting that.  But you'll notice that she left Sam (and the others) behind, which is interesting.  Why would she do that?  

Sam makes a comment about Axel possibly being dead, which is also interesting because there's seemingly some doubt about it, even though it sure looked like he'd been crushed last issue.  Maybe the Rogues are starting to understand that Rogues are difficult to kill or rarely stay dead :>  And it's nice to see that Sam considers Axel an integral part of the Rogues, which is something the Rogues haven't necessarily made clear since the New 52 began.

Even more significant: Mick snarks back at Warden Wolfe about James Jesse escaping Iron Heights, to which Wolfe loses his shit.  This tells us that Mick knows James (or knows *of* him, at least), that James was in the prison at some point and managed to escape, and that Wolfe is really touchy about it.  I hope we learn more about this in future stories, and it also helps explain why James might want payback on Wolfe.

And then a mysterious fire suddenly erupts and Mick is terribly burned.  This is apparently the work of the Sage Force.  We later learn that the the Force has been afflicting him for a while, causing him to hear the voices of his victims and giving him nightmares, and that's why he was kinda-sorta seeing the prison psychologist.  Interestingly, the shrink has compassion for Mick, which is somewhat unexpected for Iron Heights but very good to see.

Mick's Sage-induced mindscape is really fascinating.  He pictures himself in his Johns-era pre-Flashpoint look, and seemingly perceives the fire being as female.  We know that he referred to fire as female before Flashpoint

possibly because fire has often had sexual connotations for him.  For instance, he addressed a fire as "Beautiful", and when he talked about fire-setting in Rogues Revenge Len told him to "keep that libido in check".  So it's not surprising that he'd see fire as female and/or attractive here.  I'm glad to see his pre-Flashpoint look here, although it's possible that's just how he pictures himself and it's not actually part of his currently-canonical past.  I hope that look does make a return to canon someday.

One creepy moment is when Barry has a horrifying vision of a decaying Wally in a bathroom mirror, accusing him of letting the other heroes take him away to Sanctuary for Heroes In Crisis (I won't talk about today's issue because of spoilers, but yeah, I read it).  Barry reasonably concludes that it's Sam's doing, but it seems to be caused at least in part by his own guilty conscience.  Question is, is it entirely within his own mind, or has it been sparked by the Sage Force or some other reason?  Obviously there's weird stuff going around right now, so it may not be entirely his own doing.  We know Hunter's out there, for example, and he might be messing with Barry.

Near the end of the issue Mick's mind flares up as fire beasts attack Iron Heights, and the entire prison seemingly goes up in an unusual conflagration, leaving Barry and Detective Burns (heh) as the only survivors.  Considering Mick's Sage Force is mind-based, it seems likely that Barry and Burns are in Mick's mindscape somehow or are being psychologically manipulated, and that fortunately they aren't really surrounded by the charred corpses of their friends.  But it's a horrible visual and clearly a terrifying experience for them.

I'm almost wondering if the story arc will end with Mick getting un-burned and possibly even depowered, because unless he dies (unlikely) he's going to have to physically heal in some way.  He can't go on as he is right now, and perhaps the Sage Force will bring him to the pre-Flashpoint look -- or something similar -- that we saw in his mindscape.  Even if he retains his powers or stays somewhat burned, I'd like to see a return of the gentler and more decent person he was before Flashpoint.  The Sage Force is a psychological ability which also manifests physically, so perhaps it will take care of him....particularly if it's sentient like the Speed Force is.

Pretty good issue, and I'm liking the insights into Mick and the amusingly adversarial relationship between Barry and the Commander.  Definitely worth reading.

[duckbeater]

Fuck Church-going, I’m Going to H&M

M and I were walking downtown, through the cold dark channel of skyscrapers on Dearborn Avenue, holding off on reaching our respective trains. Some of the light fixtures were done up in orange and white to look like candy corn. Spooky music (pipe organ, maybe the theme from The Phantom of the Opera) wafted out of the flowerbeds done up in hearty mums. I appreciate how much the city celebrates its holidays. I hoped ghosts would rain down demented terror on all of us.

I was just off work and M was out of therapy—we had barely coordinated our meeting. Somehow we were embarrassed to be where we never were, like the time we intersected just after he’d purchased his condo, appearing before each other in our business casual at the Belmont exchange, approving our dress basics (”You are a new man in Chinos!” “I appreciate you in a tie!”), then agreeing to a celebratory drink. He was nearly silent. I forgave him: he’d just laid a good chunk of his earthly estate on the line, on down the line, and was dizzy with the prospect of failure. (This was confirmed in the bar, when the color left his face, and he murmured, “I’ve signed my whole life away. Now I’ll be one of those gays who never stops talking about slate versus granite countertops.”) He was quiet now, too, puzzling over the book recommendation his therapist had given him.

“Conscious Communication by Mary Shores. I already Amazoned it, but I’m not going to read it. And not reading it will just produce more shame, more guilt, that I’ll have to talk around in our next session.”

“Maybe you can read it,” I advised, “consciously, on your commutes, but choose your headings, you know? Like, be a proactive skimmer.” My therapist never recommends little books for me to read. She listens, an awful lot, to me talking about books, referencing books, shitting on books. I realized I use my therapist as a kind of pre-book-review audience, where I pitch angles her way and she says, “Mmm, but do you like it?” And it occurred to me then that I was extorting my health insurance for an embarrassment of riches to workshop book reviews I then published for free on poorly trafficked websites. This, I thought, is the emotional commerce of an MFA. I told M: “I don’t get homework from my therapist.”

He said: “I think mine is bored talking to me about guys, so he wants something we can both talk about. So that’s a fucking book.” 

To our left, in the Daley Plaza, secondary directors on one of the Chicago series were filming a public demonstration. A monumental backdrop with exquisitely art directed graffito read: GOD IS GAY AND HE LOVES YOU!  The crowd of onlookers was fairly separate from the crowd of extras, but it was a close thing, and somewhat confounding, the distinction between a simulated fracas over milquetoast iconoclasm and the genuine anger of what I assume were tourists. People milling (extras) were deflecting earnest proclamations from people on the other side of the barricade, who shouted things like “God is great!” and questions like “God is unknowable, so how do you know He’s gay?” (also shouted).      

M said, “Whoa!” but I said, “It’s just a movie. That’s not even local news.” I pointed to a folded crane and several reflectors: “They’re trying to make it look like two o’clock in the afternoon. That’s an Arri Alexa—gay youth groups don’t take those out of the box.” I was guessing about the camera, still, it impressed M.

We idled outside the Goodman so M could ruminate on how his stringent, captivating Catholic upbringing was possibly rearing a cudgel now, example: his inability to manifest erections during recent, aborted Grindr hookups.

“How many are we talking about?” I asked.

“Maybe, after the last time we talked, three others?”

“You’ve abandoned three hookups because your dick wasn’t hard?”

“No, just two of them. My dick was a part of, uh, all of them though. This one dude was too dirty to fuck. I know it gets late, but who doesn’t shower before hooking up with a stranger?”

“Some guys are into that.”

“I’m not,” said M. “Sex with Ben is fine. Jerking off is fine. I have a libido. Maybe I just need some romance first. What is the point of ‘opening my relationship’ if I can’t have sex with other guys because my dick isn’t cooperating?”

“I don’t know,” I said. Maybe it was obvious that I was forlorn.

Two key scenes of my distended friendship with M: ferrying him to a movie after his dog died, stroking the soft clippered hair on the back of his head while he cried in the passenger seat, just as my mother had done when I was a child. (Farm life is punctuated by many gruesome cat deaths.) He talked to his sister on the phone and said things like, “Yeah, but did the vet let you hold her head?” allowing her answers to destroy him. The second, a few months back: when M decided to break up with Ben, my driving him around Chicago for a debrief. He was so under-slept his under-eyes seemed saline-injected. He repeated feelings he’d been expressing up till then and I tried to offer comments that weren’t cliches, also previously expressed. “What we’re dealing with here,” I said, “is summary, so maybe we can just listen to music and respect the end of this thing?” He contested that the reality of the relationship’s end���nearly four years of honest coupling—was worth examining, as a phenomenon whose pain had far exceeded his expectations. (Thus, my blog.) Obviously those weren’t his exact words. And anyway a couple of days later, he and Ben agreed to keep dating, albeit “openly,” the announcement of which caused me to state, openly, “Good luck with that!” 

So he had bad luck with that, and being a sport now, he said, “You’re a smart guy, tell me what to do!”

“Don’t blame God on your erections. Don’t blame romance on them, either. Don’t blame them. This whole setup is bunk. You have to report, verbatim, the stupid not-sex you have with randos, edifying no one, least of all Ben.” (A condition of their open relationship is they tell each other everything.) “You have a guilty conscience, is all. You want a clean fuck? You will never get one. Every time you boink someone else, you think about how Ben won’t like it much, and he doesn’t like it much, it makes him terrified that you’ll actually really breakup with him, and you’re terrified, too. Look at the very long leash he braided into the back of your hair! So pretty! You went to New York alone to meet up with a guy you’ve been Scruffing for eight months!”

“But I didn’t fuck him! I couldn’t get a fucking boner!”

“I’m fucking glad!” I snapped.

We both exhaled very loudly and very slowly. We had been mobile, with sharp hand motions, all the way to the corner of Lake. Trains clattered above us.

“Fucking Christ,” I said, peeling my backpack off, hugging it.

“What?”

“I forgot to buy a fucking sweater from H&M.”

“You want me to walk back with you?”

“Yeah.”

“Okay.” 

We passed by the movie set again. People were chanting “CHRIST! IS GAY! HE WAS BORN THIS WAY!”  which unnerved M no end. “It’s just, I spent an hour talking about growing up uber-Catholic, feeling gross about gay people, and now there’s people chanting in the streets—”

“It’s a movie,” I pointed out again.

“You think because it’s fake it doesn’t make it worth feeling—”

“I think god is fake, too, but—”

“That’s the whole point! It’s—the—meaningless . . . ” I thought he was burying it, the dredged up convictions. Instead: “Do remember Jed’s stupid ministry?”

I did. This is a mutual acquaintance who married young, sired two kids, preached in his father’s church, outed himself before his congregation, got kicked out of his church, temporarily lost his family, and turned this turn of fortune into a not-very-profitable speaking tour. His self-published memoir, a re-conversion narrative, described the gift God gave him: making Jed a gay shepherd for His flock. 

M: “You think it’s stupid because he took the thing that ruined his life and promotes it now as the thing that saved it.”  

I said, “Absolutely, I do think that’s stupid.”

M: “Right. Fine. But you understand that being psychologically affected by your religious upbringing doesn’t make you an idiot, okay?” 

I perceived where M wanted to turn his thoughts but it didn’t make me care about them. “The planet is dying and we’re killing each other with guns. I don’t want to talk to another gay person about god, or prayers, or spiritual affiliation, or how they still feel shame because of their church-going. Fuck church-going. I’m going to H&M, I’m going to buy a sweater guaranteed-made by the most desecrating human labor, and then I’m—I’m going home.” I should concede what I perceived: that had young M had any access to a faith that celebrated his sexuality, or at least didn’t shit all over it, then he might be a more contented, better adjusted adult. Here was the universe broadcasting this back to him, grandly, on the bright stage of an updated mystery play. He felt stirred to compassion for his former self, and benevolent toward his former (though perhaps extant) beliefs. I acknowledge that it resonated. The timing, the scale, how could it not? I resented its convenience. 

M: “You’re acting like a total fascist.”

I said, “I know. I’m sorry. We can get an ice cream after I find a sweater.”

M said thanks, and we hustled over to State Street. I had been hugging my backpack for too long. He took it out of my arms and told me to look like a normal person, not like a scared child, and held the straps open for me.

[easyweight101]

Steel Libido Review: Don’t Buy Before You Read This!

What is it?

Steel Libido is a male enhancement product designed to help improve erection quality and libido levels in its users. Their advertising says that Steel Libido can improve circulation, which helps get more blood to the penis before and during sex, creating more effective, longer lasting stimulation. Its blend is also supposed to increase the volume of users’ ejaculate while simultaneously preventing the frustration and embarrassment of premature ejaculation.

Our panel of men’s wellness experts has concluded that the best overall male enhancement supplement is Viritenz. Their blend works to improve erectile quality from both a physical and a psychological approach, maximizing arousal levels for its users. Click here to see how Viritenz affects mental functioning and libido levels.

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Steel Libido Ingredients and Side Effects

L-Arginine Maca Powder Ginseng Yohimbe

 L-Arginine: An amino acid that is a popular ingredient in many male enhancement products because of its ability to increase circulation, a major factor in erectile health. It also has a beneficial impact on insulin levels and human growth hormone manufacturing.

L-Arginine works by converting to nitric oxide in the blood, which in turn increases the size of the blood vessels in the body. Larger blood vessels make it simpler for more blood to pass through the circulatory system, so diverting it to the spongy tissue that creates erections is easier and faster.

Insulin helps control blood sugar levels and can also play a role in erectile signaling, as does human growth hormone, which increases testosterone levels overall. Testosterone is a factor in libido and erectile quality.

Maca Powder: A Peruvian pant that is used for food and medicinal products. Maca is high in amino and fatty acids and has shown a number of applications for sexual health and general wellness. Conditions that maca has been used to treat include:

Chronic fatigue syndrome

Depression

Improving memory

Osteoporosis

Sexually it has been shown to increase sexual desire in both males and females. It can improve the sexual dysfunction that is caused by depression and anti-depressant medications, and it has shown some application for orgasm quality. Maca is also thought to help improve male infertility by increasing the quantity and density of sperm production.

Ginseng: One of the most used herbs across the globe based on its widespread beneficial effects on the body. Ginseng is an adaptogen that can improve memory and cognitive function and has been used in the treatment of:

COPD

Influenza

Multiple sclerosis

Alzheimer’s Disease

It is useful sexually as a stimulant that can increase blood flow to the penis and improve erectile health, and as part of a treatment that helps prevent premature ejaculation. It also can increase the frequency of sexual arousal in both sexes and help improve sexual stamina.

Yohimbe: A type of tree found in Africa that was frequently used in supplements before its multiple hazardous side effects were discovered. Now it is banned by the FDA and regulated in nations across the globe, however it still appears in the blend of unscrupulous manufacturers that don’t mind illegally shipping their product internationally.

Yohimbe became popular as a stimulant and erectile aid based on its effects on circulation. Unfortunately yohimbe can also dangerously elevate blood pressure levels and overwork the heart. The effect is that some users started developing a number of serious side effects including:

Irregular heartbeat

Kidney failure

Seizure

Heart attack

Yohimbe was finally banned by the FDA after it was found to have contributed to multiple deaths across the United States, even in otherwise healthy users. Our panel of men’s health and wellness experts strongly encourage our readers to avoid all products containing yohimbe for both safety and legal reasons.

Click here for the most up to date male enhancement supplement reviews.

EDITOR’S TIP:Combine this supplement with a proven male enhancement pill such as Viritenz for better results.

Steel Libido Quality of Ingredients

One of the positives about Steel Libido is that they clearly publish their ingredients list, and even include dosage amounts. There are many products that do not do this, and it makes it much easier to evaluate and compare between products when you actually know what is in them.

It is unfortunate that Steel Libido chooses to use such a dangerous and illegal ingredient as yohimbe, because other parts of its blend have the potential to be highly effective. L-arginine, maca powder, and ginseng are all amongst our panel’s most recommended ingredients for male sexual health, and our users are highly encouraged to seek out supplements that include them.

Yohimbe, on the other hand, is somewhat affective but highly dangerous, and that is not a trade off that our panel can recommend to our readers in good conscience. Yohimbe is incredibly dangerous for anyone with a heart condition or elevated blood pressure, but those weren’t the only people that it affected.

People that were supposedly fit or had no idea that they had underlying heart issues experienced extreme side effects that permanently altered their life, compromised their health, and, in some case, even led to the user’s death. The FDA has banned all supplements that contain yohimbe, and our panel supports that decision. Readers are strongly encouraged to find alternative options to all products containing yohimbe.

Follow this link to find the male enhancement product that will be the most effective for your specific needs.

The Price and Quality of Steel Libido

Steel Libido is sold through their own website and through a number of third party retailers as well. As of the date of this review’s publication, the price that was quoted on their website was:

1 75-count bottle of Steel Libido liquid soft-gels: $34.95

Steel Libido’s directions suggest taking 2-4 liquid soft-gels per day, so this is about a 2-4 week supply of supplements. That makes them slightly more expensive than the average pills of this type.

To learn about how your body processes arousal physiologically, follow this link.

Business of Steel Libido

The owner of Steel Libido is a company called Irwin Naturals, a manufacturer of health and wellness supplements. They list their contact information as:

Phone Number: (310) 306-3636

Address: 5310 Beethoven Street

Los Angeles, CA 90066

Email: Irwin Naturals does not publish an email address online, however they do have a customer connection form on their website for electronic communications.

It should be noted that Irwin Naturals was just forced to pay out over $2.65 million in damages based on a lawsuit that found them guilty of unfair business practices. The court found that they mislabeled products, knowingly did not include certain ingredients that were supposed to be in other, and they also were found to have manipulative customer service habits.

Perhaps most seriously, it was found that Irwin Naturals had dangerously elevated levels of lead in one of their products, but knowingly sold it any way. Lead is hazardous to humans and many of the plaintiffs experienced negative side effects due to their exposure.

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Customer Opinions of Steel Libido

In addition to the lawsuit that they just settled, Steel Libido has also faced some backlash for the quality of their products. Commenters online have made comments similar to these about Steel Libido:

“When I saw Steel Libido’s ads I thought I had found my savior… I’ve been using it for two months now, and its just the same old issues.”

“I took a whole jar of Steel Libido and I don’t think I got a single erection.”

“I started shaking and getting the sweats any time I took it. I stopped after a week or two because it wasn’t working and I thought I was going to have a heart attack.”

Most frequently the complaints were just that Steel Libido didn’t work. Other reports similar to the last entry brought up complaints about side effects, particularly those that are consistent with the over-stimulation related to yohimbe consumption.

To see which over the counter men’s health supplements our team of sexuality experts recommend the highest, follow this link.

Conclusion – Does Steel Libido Work?

It is very possible that Steel Libido will work for some individuals. It uses several traditionally effective ingredients in its blend whose effects are consistent enough that many of the men who use it to improve their erections or increase their libidos will see positive effects.

It also contains an illegal ingredient that can be fatal in its users. Due to the strange way the human mind works, many people may hear that as a kind of endorsement, some indication that yohimbe must be so potent that if it doesn’t kill you it will be highly effective. Our review team would like to stress that this is not the case at all.

Stressed, over stimulated people with unsafely high blood pressure are not in the optimal condition for sex. Yohimbe is easily replaced with safer additives that are as effective or more so but that do not carry the life-threatening risks that the illegal version does.

The product that our panel of experts recommends to our readers is Viritenz. It has performed the best during our trials and is swiftly gaining a reputation for effectiveness within the male enhancement industry.

It’s proprietary blend features powerful ingredients that are legal in every country, such as maca, ginseng, L-arginine and cayenne powder. For information about all of Viritenz’s ingredients and dosage levels, follow this link.

from Easy Weight Loss 101 http://ift.tt/2l8LrN9 via The Best Weight Loss Diet In The World