#a girl of a thousand faces....... bc i have given up on trying to draw her consistently

[im-smart-i-swear]

who even needs consistency anyway?

[love-loser]

cocky student tony x professor peter moved here for mobile users

Even though college was a volatile time for many, this whole higher education thing was going pretty well for Peter. Granted, he’s the one teaching the class, but still, pretty good seeing as see he was so young (25) and oh so (very) endearing, both of which helped him get along with his students.

Well, most of his students.

He never knew just how much one person could annoy him but walking into class, seeing that stupid smirk on the younger boy’s smirk, just made his coffee taste that much bitter, the junior never failing to make his day just a bit shitty, somehow.

Even more- he’d always managed to somehow know the material even though Peter was sure he was either sleeping or on his phone half the time. The Engineering professor could probably count on one hand the number of times he’d seen the brunette actually take notes. And it was already halfway into the semester. It hadn’t even caught Tony off guard when he tried to call on the boy.

What he hated the most, though, was the way Tony’s stupid, stupid, intense, dusky eyes always seemed to undress him everytime he walked into the room. The way his hands made his excessively big iPhone look tiny when he wrapped his capable fingers around it and- not to mention those same fingers that rubbed against his lips as he blatantly checked his own professor out, in class, no less. Did kids these days have no manners?

Yes, maybe Peter was exaggerating just a tiny bit–– it’s not like Tony tormented him everyday or openly harassed him, but it’s the principle of it, see. In Peter’s mind, he only has one goal when it comes to Tony Stark, aka (surprisingly) straight A student, aka genius, playboy, billionaire, philanthropist most annoying boy on campus.

And that goal: To put him in his place.

Peter can’t imagine what it’ll be like for the student when he gets to senior year in just half a semester–– in fact, even the very thought of Tony treating any of his teachers this way (or anyone) sends the assistant professor’s matchbox heart into insistent, restless flames.

(He chalks it up to just pure concern for his student.) Not jealousy.

Peter even writes up a list between inputting scantron grades, of why exactly he hates Tony’s guts.

Eloquently, he titles it, ❌ Tony Stark ❌.

1. Taller than me by an inch 1.5 cm.

2. Somehow knows my favourite breakfast from panera bread.

3. Always borrows notes from other people when he’s absent EVEN THOUGH HE KNOWS I HAVE COPIES BY MY DESK!

4. Wears those stupid glasses all the time.

5. Spends an average of 6 minutes after class just cleaning up, making me WAIT

6. Never pays attention in class but always sets the curves on tests.

7. Always flirts with other people outside the hall before class. (distracting!)

8.

On the eighth, Peter’s mind draws a blank. He’d thought that he could go on and on when given the chance, but maybe now isn’t the time- after all, he does only have 2 braincells left after mindlessly typing in scores.

It’s about 5:43 pm now, which probably means he should go after entering this last girl’s score and-

Done. Rarely do other professors ever stay this late, but Peter isn’t really in the mood to stick around and see. He grabs his trusty bullet journal- the one he proudly spent 2 and a half hours on in the beginning on the year, and also the one he just slandered Tony in, which, speaking of the devil- Shitshitshit, avoid him before he annoys you, Pete. It turns out his stiff, minecraft esque speedwalking in the other direction still isn’t enough to deter Tony, who looks up from his phone and calls out a nonchalant, “Hey, Mr. Parker!” Peteralmost scoffs at the sheer level of disrespect in that one line- how dare he? Who does he think he is?! At least, that’s what he sputters mentally.

Physically, the brunet is ready to embrace a thousand year nap.

Peter mentally debates whether or not to stop and give Tony the time of day, his aforementioned 2 brain cells bantering back and forth before, eventually, Tony just decides he will have a conversation with Peter, whether he likes it or not. “Hey, earth to Mister,” Tony says, suddenly in front of his face, dangerously close.

“Hi, Tony. You do know my first name isn’t mister, right? And you should be calling me Professor.” Peter says, voice scolding. “Okay, then, professor,” Tony says, though Peter knows he won’t really listen to him, “What’re you doing so late? Isn’t it past your bedtime? You need sleep to grow taller.” Well- okay, this is getting ridiculous.

“That’s no way you should be talking to your elders, much less your lecturer, Tony,” Peter reprimands, starting to walk again. Hopefully, he’ll be left alone now. Unsurprisingly, and to Peter’s horror, Tony only starts striding backwards easily, as if he’d grown up learning how to walk that way. “But you’re so young. You barely look like my elder, much less a teacher,” Tony’s eyes flicker down, then drag back up, and Peter tries not to flush at this. “That’s not to say you don’t look good, though, the opposite, really.”

Peter only scoffs at this, round eyes rolling in disbelief, a warm tinge to his cheeks to top it all off. He stops abruptly, ego puffing just a bit when Tony stumbles.

“Actually, why don’t we talk about that, Tony?” He stops just to mentally imprint Tony’s somewhat panicked expression, before continuing with an adamant, “I’ve seen the way you act in class- the way you look at me,” which sounds much more scandalous than it should be.

Peter’s voice lowers to a hush, registering that they’re still in a school building, where anyone could be listening. Trust no one, not even yourself.

“It’s not appropriate. I’m not some romantic interest for you to try to indulge in, and I’d much rather you put some of that attention to the lecture’s material instead.”

A moment passes by, then two, and Peter is still staring Tony straight in the eyes, his own hard with determination, brows furrowed.

After a pregnant pause, the student clears his throat.

“Do you wanna be?”

“Excuse me?”

“I mean, yeah, you’re cute professor,” Tony admits shamelessly, “Why don’t you just give me a bit of a chance? I’m not that bad, I’m actually very great.” “That’s exactly what a bad person would say,” Peter points out.

“Let me prove that I’m not, then,” Tony says. Then, his phone dings, “Well, I have to go. But I mean it, mister! Bye,” And with that, Tony bids him goodbye with a wave and a blown kiss.

Peter shudders.

Yuck.

-

What is not so yuck, though, is the next morning, is when Peter gets in at approximately 8:30 am. There’s a still toasty croissant on his desk, with a orange post it note.  

Hope you enjoy this. I was late bc i was picking it up so i just decided to skip for the whole day- TS<3 xoxo

Peter, infuriatingly, knows exactly who wrote the note, and couldn’t resist the urge to roll his eyes. He’d been doing that alot lately. ‘Late picking it up so he just decided to skip the whole day over a croissant, are you kidding me,’ Peter doesn’t bother actually protesting against the innocent pastry, though, instead setting his bag down and taking it out of the pastry bag. He recognises the label- it’s from the campus coffee shop. Tony was late to class picking up food from an establishment on campus.

The kid’s gotta have a demerit, or something, because that might be going just a little too far, even for him. It’s like being late to a party you’re already at, but leave it to Tony Stark to somehow find a way.

Well, that’s too bad. There was suddenly going to be a pop quiz today.

-

Peter, later, finds that he has to reach deep inside himself to not literally slap the living shit out of Tony’s face when the boy opens the door to his lecture hall as the professor is packing up later that day.

“So you are here,” is what he says instead, eyes narrowed accusingly. He still doesn’t get why Peter doesn’t just come to class if he’s already there- are his lessons really that bad?  

“Indeed I am,” is the answer that comes, infuriatingly nonchalant. “Miss me?”

“Never,” He huffs, slinging his bag over his shoulder.

“Did you at least like the breakfast I got you?”

Hell yes. “No. What would be better, Stark, is if you actually attended class while you were on campus.” Then, he adds in without thought, “Especially mine.” There’s a beat of silence, the words not quite sinking in for the professor yet- it’s a different story for Tony, though. “Especially yours?” Tony asks with a grin, and the tone in his voice makes Peter immediately regret whatever he said to induce said piece of shit’s intonation. “Yes. Is there a problem?” One strong brow raises in inquiry.

“Not at all,” Tony’s stupid smile only widens, “The opposite, really.”

[asteriaways]

Hogwarts AU Part 2!

Hiya my darlings! Tis me, your beloved writer, yet again.

I’m back with the second chapter of my Hogwarts AU!

I am so SHOCKED and GRATEFUL at all the support that the first chapter got! I had no idea that people would like it so much! I am truly honoured! I love writing this so much, it is so fluffy and gorgeous and overall just happy.

Also: The ending is shitty. I couldn’t figure out a way to end it without going into the plan I have for Chapter 3- yes, this is going to be a multi-chapter fanfic. Soooo… Forgive me. Please?

Also- Rose is based off my bestie @avilliansdream

I LOVE YOU BITCH (I’m sorry I made your character shitty)

Also: This is set in a sort of in-between era, where Dumbledore is still around and everyone is alive and happy but we don’t see Harry and crew bc… They are too angsty for this story and I want this to be happy and cheering and god that doesn’t make sense.

Warnings: Swearing. Tired Brian. Sass level 100%. No-fucks-given by Freddie. Basically just fluff!

Word count: 1266 words

Enjoy, my darlings! Please like, reblog, and send me feedback

Let me know if you want to be on my taglist!

Brian sighed, resting his chin on his hand as he stared at the looming blackboard, sporting numerous sums across its black finish. He felt hi­­s eyes flutter shut, the hours of sleep he had lost catching up with him. He had stayed up late that night, accompanied by his endless Astronomy textbooks and the silence of the common room, disturbed only by the flickering of the firelight and Melody’s soft snores from where she had dropped off 15 minutes before. He had debated telling her about John’s crush on her during their late night talks, but had decided against it.

‘Brian! Brian! Brian May!’ A voice called, pulling him back to reality.

‘Hmm? Yes?’ he asked, looking up through sleep-riddled eyes, dazed.

‘Sleeping in class, Mr May?’ McGonagall huffed, her eyes scanning his tired face from behind her glasses.

His eyes widened as he realised the gravity of his situation.

‘Um, no, miss!’ He spluttered. He looked next to him, seeing Roger trying to stifle a laugh- and failing. Melody shot him a pitying look, mouthing ‘Sorry!’ from her seat at the back of the room.

‘Is there something you want to add, Mr Taylor?’ the teacher snapped at Roger, who immediately shut up.

‘Detention, Mr May!’ she said, scowling.

‘But, miss!’ he feebly protested.

‘As I was saying, in this spell you must be careful….’ She said, walking back to the front of the classroom. Brian let his forehead slam onto the wooden desk, groaning loudly. How could he get a detention? He never got detentions!

‘Sorry, mate.’ Roger whispered, dipping his quill into the inkwell. ‘Maybe you should try and get some sleep. You’re overwhelming yourself, man.’

‘Shuddup, Rog.’ Brian mumbled from behind his curtain of curls. Roger shrugged, sultrily winking at a girl across the room. He reluctantly sat up, yanking his paper away from Roger.

‘Stop flirting and pay attention, Rog.’

‘I’m not flirting, I’m wooing. Besides, how can I help the fact that girls love me?’

Brian rolled his eyes, blowing a stray lock of hair out of his eyes.

Detention. What fun.

‘Detention, darling? That’s a new one.’ Freddie remarked as he leant against the stone wall in the sunny courtyard, unbuttoning his Slytherin tie and wrapping it around his wrist. Brian rolled his eyes, exchanging pointed glances with John, who was sitting on the stone bench, his robes discarded and his shirt slightly unbuttoned, soaking up the sunshine. John shrugged, letting his head fall back.

‘I’m just saying, darling, you need to loosen up. Maybe detention will do you some good.’

‘No, no it won’t, Fred!’

‘I disagree.’

‘Are you sure that’s the dress code, Fred?’ John interjected, gesturing to Freddie’s outfit- a complete mismatch of his Hogwarts uniform.

He’d ditched the sweater, leaving his chest only covered by his mostly unbuttoned white shirt. He’d wrapped his tie around his pants, deciding that if it was on his wrist it looked ‘too emo’. He’d also rolled up his pants, adorning them with colourful safety pins.

‘Course not, Deaky. But they can’t stop me, can they?’

‘They actually can, Fred.’ Deaky deadpanned.

‘Don’t kill the vibe, darling.’

‘Anyway! We were discussing poor Bri’s predicament.’ Roger interrupted from where he was lying in the sunlight, shirt open to expose his torso, drawing many looks and giggles from nearby girls- much to his amusement.

‘Just do the detention, Bri. They’ll just make you write lines or something. No biggie.’ Deaky kindly reassured.

‘Speaking from experience, Deaks?’ Roger asked, laughing.

‘Oh, is our Deaky actually a bad boy?’ Freddie giggled, adjusting his makeshift ‘belt’.

Deaky, in fact, had had multiple detentions, mainly for saying things that ‘should never even cross your mind’ to the people he hated. He was known as ‘Silvertongue’ to many students and teachers. If there was one thing you didn’t want to be, it was on John Deacon’s bad side.

‘Guys! Helllllloooooo!’ someone called, bouncing up to them.

‘Rose! Darling, it’s been too long!’ Freddie cheered, running to embrace the crazy girl who had just strutted in.

‘Freddie, you saw me an hour ago!’ she chided.

He ruffled her midnight-black hair, shorn into a spiky pixie cut. She huffed, puffing her lips and cheeks out dramatically.

‘Freddie! Must say, love the outfit.’

‘HA! See, Deaks, it IS good!’

‘I never said it wasn’t good, Fred. I just said it wouldn’t ring well with the teachers.’ John sighed, resisting the urge to slam his head into a brick wall.

‘Well, fuck them. Don’t you like it, darling?’ He asked Rose, twirling around.

‘I love it! It’s extravagant, daring…..’ Rose paused to think. ‘It just needs a bit of Mercury.’

‘Mercury?’

‘Mercury.’ She confirmed, raising an eyebrow.

‘Mercury?’ Roger asked, baffled.

‘Mercury, Rog.’ She confirmed, pulling a tube of eyeliner out of the pocket of her Gryffindor robe.

She grabbed Freddie’s face in her hands, commanding him to ‘stay still’. She quickly swiped the ink-black wand across his eyelids, conjuring an air of mystery about him. She popped the tube back in her pocket, clapping her hands gleefully.

‘Boom! Mercury!’ she declared, her brown eyes glinting under a coat of thick mascara.

‘Mercury, my dear!’ he laughed, spinning around.

Brian grinned at the sight of his best friend spinning around the courtyard, his robes flying out behind him like a cape, sunshine radiating like a crown above his head.

Rose collapsed on the ground next to Roger, giggling hysterically. Roger started laughing too, and soon Brian and Deaky joined in, the pure, unbridled happiness rippling through the air.

Brian smiled, feeling his cheek muscles hurt from laughing too much. Rose looked up and stuck her tongue out at him, crossing her eyes and puffing her cheeks out. That sent John into hysterics, snorting as his chest heaved with laughter, the oh-so-contagious laughter that sounded like the chime of a thousand different melodies all rolled into one.

Freddie kept on dancing, ignoring the stares from the other students as he glided across the sun-baked bricks, a silhouette against the blinding rays of light.

Brian flicked his hair out of his face, exchanging a gleeful smile with Deaky.

It was times like these when he was reminded of how lucky he was. Sitting here, in the sunlight with his best friends (and one added human) he was full.

This was what paradise felt like.

@onceuponadetectivedemigod @shesadramaqueen @ceruleanrainblues @sophieeelol @avilliansdream @yllwtaxi

[purpleparrot]

ok i’m gonna do a post on the bachelorette bios under a read more bc its long as h*ck

Adam, 27, real estate agent. Gains points for listing his most embarrassing moment as telling his mom he was going on the bachelorette (submit an application for any reality show and you have answer to that question for the rest of you life) and immediately loses them for saying his favorite actor is “jennifer lawrence because she’s every girl’s goal” (three years ago this would have been true but not now my guy) and saying a threesome is the most romantic gift he’s ever received.

Alex, 28, information systems supervisor. Says the most outrageous thing he’s ever done is eat a live salamander (um?) and lists the rock as his favorite artist (um????). Also says the most romantic present he’s ever given is a car which was probably very awkward when the relationship ended.

Anthony, 26, education software manager. Describes emotional intelligence as one of his best attributes so if things don’t work out with Rachel he’d be a great match for Taylor from Nick’s season. Also says that he has “virtually no limits in the bedroom once the connection is there” and honestly its just weird that they asked some of them that question (like I’d answer that question for the entire internet to read)

Blake E., 31, “Aspiring Drummer” says that the most outrageous thing hes ever done is get engaged to a “crazy girl” then calls himself a “classic gentleman” two questions later. Also wants to watch the new 50 Shades movie because he loves “taboo sexy stuff”. Was engaged for 48 hours which is probably about 24 hours more than he’ll last on the bachelorette. Hates when his date talks about her cats, so Taylor Swift is basically his worst nightmare. Also doesn’t think parking ticket people have souls, which is honestly the most redeeming answer of the bunch.

Blake K, 29, U.S, Marine Veteran. Would want to be the Rock for a day because “he’s the only person who could look cool wearing a fanny pack”. Says that roses are his favorite flower, which I’m 99% sure is a prerequisite to getting on the show. Says he won’t wrestle a crocodile or eat monkey brains for love, and mostly seems too normal for this show.

Brady, 29, Male Model. Says that tackling snowmen is something he does for fun in his hometown (um? fingers crossed he makes it to hometowns so we can see how exactly that works) and says Lululemon sweatpants are the most romantic gifts he’s ever received, which is slightly (okay a lot) more normal than threesome. Says the the Situation from Jersey Shore is the person he dislikes the most in the world, making me think about that show for the first time in at least three years. (Also, does he remined me a little bit of Robby from Jojo’s season appearance-wise?)

Bryce, 37, Chiropractor. Kind of looks like Chase from Jojo’s season (to me at least). Lists like seven things when asked for his three best attributes, so apparently has some trouble with numbers. Also says the Bachelor/Bachelorette is one of his favorite TV shows because he’s “fascinated by the interaction socially between a man and a woman” (please no one watches this show for the love story, you watch for the drama and you know it) has also had balcony sex? (idk what to do with that information)

Bryce, 30, firefighter. All of his answers are oddly poetic? Describes himself as a “laid back shot of gasoline when the fire starts to die”. Looking for someone with “eyes you could drown in and a smile that insults the sun”. Says he’s “a fresh drink of water with a jolt of lightning”. I’d put money on him reading Rachel some 9th grade English poem the first night. Describes his dream job as a professional Instagrammer which he’s definitely in the right place for with all the Fittea and teeth whitening stuff everyone who goes on this show seems to sell.

Dean, 26, startup recruiter. Has a lip tattoo? (It says righteous, I know you were dying to know. Thinks marriage is an “institutionalized sham derived from religious beliefs” so he’ll fit in perfectly on a show where the end goal is getting engaged!

DeMario, 30, executive recruiter. Scores points for referencing Britney Spears not once but twice, saying he loves attention but not like 2007 Britney, like when she and Justin Timberlake wore those denim outfits. Wants to have a pet lion and name it “Denzel the lion”, Doesn’t have any phobias, which I’m sure made the produces frown and cross his name off potential candidates for those dates they always have where they skydive or something and they’re both really freaked out and have to comfort each other. Earns more points by saying that the most romantic gift he’s ever given is tickets to a Beyonce and Jay-Z concert.

Diggy, 31, senior inventory analyst. Spends Saturday nights trying to recover from day drinking (he and Corinne would get along great if Rachel doesn’t pick him!) Once pretended to be asleep so he didn’t have to help a girl find her brother after a one night stand.

Eric, 29, personal trainer. Rachel seems like she was digging him on the ATFR when she men some of her guys. If he could be anyone for a day, he’d be Tony Robbins, which is a name I had to Google and according to Wikipedia he is a    “MLM advocate, businessman, and author”. Says green juice is his favorite drink, so I’m sure he’ll be fine in the bachelor house where it seems like all they have to drink is champagne. Not to go all avril-lavigne-is-dead-and-was-replaced-by-a-clone conspiracy theorist but if he could go anywhere in the U.S. it would be New Orleans, which is where Rachel had her one-on-one with Nick.

Fred, 27, Executive Assistant. Admits to the entire Internet that he sometimes gets aroused at work. This isn’t in his bio but in the preview for the season it says that he and Rachel went to elementary school together and he has apparently had a “lifelong fascination” with her ever since which is a lil weird to me. Like I doubt I could pick someone I went to elementary school with out of a lineup much less recognize them on TV nearly 20 years later.

Grant, 29, emergency medicine physician (!). Would like to be President of the United States for a day, which would honestly probably be better than Donald Trump (I mean, they have about the same amount of experience). Lists Playboy as his favorite magazine with a ;) face. Makes a lame “A see food diet. I see food I eat it” when asked about eating habits, so I’m expecting him to open with an equally lame joke when he meets Rachel.

Iggy, 30, Consulting Firm CEO. Idk if ABC made a typo or what, but if not he lists his best and worst attributes as the same traits (Truly a double edged sword). If stranded on a dessert island he would want it to be a banana float (haha) (Also thats a really stupid question anyway-ABC if you need someone else to write these I’m available)

Jack Stone, 32, Attorney (!). First, why is his whole name on the website? Usually its just their last initial, and that’s only if there’s two people with the same name. Which isn’t the case here so @ ABC wyd. Is an attorney like Rachel, and has been the only one so far smart enough to plead the fifth on the bedroom question. Two of his worst attributes are “hard on myself, anxious” which is very #relatable. Says tulips are his favorite flower because they’re like roses without thorns.

Jamey, 32, Sales Account Executive. Answers the question “where do you see yourself in five years” with “I am trying not to make plans right now” which is also very #relatable. I should bust that one out at my next job interview. Says his ideal mate looks like a model (we all wish) and responds “I do not have any female friends” to “describe your best friend of the opposite sex and why she/she deserves that title”.

Jedidiah, 35, ER Physician (!). Previously owned dogs that were over 1/2 wolf, which is slightly terrifying. Likes wild flowers that grow above high altitudes. Has had sex on a glacier which just sounds like a bad idea, frostbite and all that. Likes nice pens (don’t we all), clashing slightly with his outdoorsy image.

Jonathan, 31, “Tickle Monster”. Anyone identifying themselves as a tickle monster would be cut immediately if I were Rachel. They wouldn’t even make it inside the mansion. I hate being tickled. Formerly sported a mullet. Says his favorite flower right now is a red rose (*rolls eyes*). Previously married, which the producers are probably going to bring up at every given opportunity. Lists Britney Spears as one of his favorite music artists, which still doesn’t even begin to make up for the tickling thing.

Josiah, 28, Prosecuting Attorney (!). Has had sex in his office, so hopefully he didn’t tell his employer he was going on the show, and if he did, hopefully they don’t find this. Was once catfished, so perhaps he’s on the wrong show anyway. Perhaps Nev and Max can participate in a group date giving tips on how not to get catfished.

Kenny, 35, professional wrestler. Spends his Saturday nights either “wrestling in his underwear in front of thousands of people or with his daughter”. Has a daughter, which the producers will also probably bring up at every given opportunity because exploiting children is always fun! Says he was “quick draw Mcgraw” when he first started dating his ex. Has had sex with a wife while her husband watched, which sounds like more Unreal than Bachelorette territory tbh.

Kyle, 26, marketing consultant. Generally doesn’t trust people and dislikes corrupt authority, and respects Ed Snowden. Probably has a Bernie 2016 sticker on his car. doesn’t know what gluten is but eats gluten free when he can. Describes his ideal mate as 7+ and says BDSM was weird because he doesn’t like hurting people.

Lee, 30, Singer/Songwriter. Would want to learn to make booze if stranded on a deserted island.  Considers himself a romantic. Also seems too normal for this show (aside from the career) and will probably be gone the first night.

Lucas, 30, “Whaboom” I googled it and couldn’t find an answer as to what “Whaboom” even means so we’re off to a great start. When asked who he would have lunch with out of everyone in the world, replies “ Dead: Bruce Jenner, Alive: Caitlyn Jenner” *cringes* would want the cast of the View with him on a deserted island which is pretty smart actually because they’d probably wind up killing each other and he could establish himself as the apex predator. Enjoys a “good old bump and grind” when it comes to dancing. Lists going to funeral as one of his least favorite date activities, which makes me question his dating history history. I feel like he’ll be the villain.

Matt, 32, Construction Sales Rep. Describes lingerie as the most romantic gift he’s ever given saying  “I knew I was in love once I found myself shopping at Victoria Secret” #justlikethenotebook. Describes a tinder date as his worst dating memory. Has had sex on a cruise ship balcony. Despite that is probably still too normal for the show and will probably be eliminated quickly.

Michael, 26, Former professional basketball player, which is less impressive when you keep reading and find out it was in Bulgaria. Would want to have lunch with Obama. One of his worst date fears is one of his friends hooking up with his date in the past which should make fantasy suites fun should he make it that far. Also like the fifth guy to name Denzel Washington as his favorite actor.

Milton, 31, Hotel recreation supervisor. Has a lip tattoo. Is oddly upfront about not being on the show for the “right reasons”. He says he wants to be discovered and break into acting or writing.  (At least try to lie and say you’re here for love my guy). Describes himself as only “kinda” romantic because he thinks it can show you’re weak.

Mohit, 26, Product manager. Says he is going to dress up as gluten for Halloween. Good luck with that. Likes country music. Has used Tabasco sauce in the bedroom which just sounds like a bad idea (honestly what do yall get up to where you need condiments). Is like the third person to say he admires Elon Musk.

Peter, 31, business owner. Once thought he got abducted after a one night stand. Likes modern family. Seems normal. Also cute. I’ve been trying to dodge spoilers but a few have slipped through the cracks and I must say...

Rob, 30, law student. Would want to have lunch with Buddha. Would want to be able to control time. Also seems normal. Will probably be eliminated quickly.

Will, 28, Sales Manager. Considers himself a romantic. Describes every tinder date he’s ever been on as his worst dating experience. Hates being a second choice, so hopefully he doesn’t wind up like Nick as runner up twice.

So overall it seems like there’s a lot more diversity this season, which is great to see! its also cool that that most of the men are closer to Rachel’s age compared to last season when some of the girls were literally 10 years younger than nick. And since i haven’t read spoilers, i guess i’ll pick a few faves based on bios alone: Peter, Eric, DeMario, Jack stone thats probably way off im bad at stuff like that

See yall the 22nd!

[teddyaltman]

Do the odds 🐢

1: when you have cereal, do you have more milk than cereal or more cereal than milk? i have cereal dry bc milk is gross but i do like cereal as a snack3: what random objects do you use to bookmark your books? mostly plane tickets or train tickets

5: are you self-conscious of your smile? yes altho i used to be worse7: do you name your plants? i only have one plant and no it has no name but now i feel bad, what should i name my plant???? 9: do you like singing/humming to yourself? Y E S always its a running joke at work that i’m always singing to myself 

11: what's an inner joke you have with your friends? my mind has gone blank idk 13: what's something that made you smile today? texting15: go google a weird space fact and tell us what it is! “you are taller in space” - this is fuckin me up cos princess leia is sO TINY imagine how small she would be on earth im emotional17: what color do you really want to dye your hair? i actually rly like my hair the colour it is at the moment but i’d prob go darker to try it rather than super blonde again idk19: do you keep a journal? what do you write/draw/ in it? no im not organised enough for a journal but i do doodle in my work diary when i finish a to do list21: talk about your favorite bag, the one that's been to hell and back with you and that you love to pieces. i love my backpack that i haggled for in venice it’s blue and white and super comfy and i love it23: what's your favorite thing to do on lazy days where you have 0 obligations? netflix (and cuddling~)25: what's the weirdest place you've ever broken into? i broke into my friends house once by crawling through the kitchen window bc she forgot her house key27: what's your favorite bubblegum flavor? bubblegum flavor? idk?29: what's something really cute that one of your friends does and is totally endearing? dan always squeezes my hand rly tight when he’s happy and i love it when he’s happy31: what is your opinion of socks? do you like wearing weird socks? do you sleep with socks? do you confine yourself to white sock hell? really, just talk about socks. i rly like socks, especially when they’re fun socks i hate just black or just white socks!! i like to wear them to bed too otherwise the monsters might get my feet but if its super hot i might not. i don’t always wear socks in the day but i’ll mostly put them on for bed

33: what's your fave pastry? uh idk but i had an amazing vegan donut in dublin it was delicious 35: do you like stationary and pretty pens and so on? do you use them often? i like pens but just like basic bic pens i like to have lots and lots but uh i like looking at stationary in paperchase but i rarely use it37: do you like keeping your room messy or clean? i like it clean but it is often messy because i am Terrible39: what color do you wear the most? burgundy! 41: what's the last book you remember really, really loving? i read an anthology (the last one) from the otherworld series when i was in aus and honestly it was great i loved it so much that series means so much to me and it ended so many characters stories in a beautiful way43: who was the last person you gazed at the stars with? i have no idea tbh45: do you trust your instincts a lot? close my eyes and leap? uh yeah i try to trust my gut!47: what food do you think should be banned from the universe? pineapple49: do you like buying CDs and records? what was the last one you bought? i don’t rly buy physical cds anymore and i don’t have my own record player so~ i bought ed sheeran’s new songs last night on itunes??51: think of a person. what song do you associate with them? marygrace - mr brightside53: have you ever watched the rocky horror picture show? heathers? beetlejuice? pulp fiction? what do you think of them? yes, yes, no, yes - i love rocky horror and i wanna see it live, heathers is Great, and pulp fiction is p good!55: what's the most dramatic thing you've ever done to prove a point? lmao i am a dramatic person idk i’ve probably done a lot of dumb shit57: go listen to bohemian rhapsody. how did it make you feel? did you dramatically reenact the lyrics? i cba but i could sing it from memory and yes of course59: what's your favorite myth? uhh idk i don’t rly have a fav??? i do like mythology tho esp greek stuff and i read some p cool fantasy books based on myths and metahumans61: what's the stupidest gift you've ever given? the stupidest one you've ever received? lmao i don’t even know omg my sister got me condoms once??63: are you fussy about your books and music? do you keep them meticulously organized or kinda leave them be? okay so my DVDs are all alphabetical except disney classics which have their own section, and boxsets are also separate, my books are in cubes and they’re sorted by age, also author and in series when applicable. also there’s a star wars section. i can’t wait to have my own place so i can get proper bookshelves tho tbh65: is there anyone you haven't seen in a long time who you'd love to hang out with? my cousin adam! he lives in greece and i didn’t manage to go visit him over christmas when he was home which was sad 67: how do gloomy days where the sky is dark and the world is misty make you feel? a lil gloomy but then i’ll take buddy for a walk and we’ll bounce along together and he always makes me feel better69: what are your favorite board games? trivial pursuit, bezzerwizzer, pointless, articulate, taboo, pictionary, citadels, life ... i love board games71: what's your favorite kind of tea? anything fruity73: what are some of your worst habits? biting my nails, speaking too loud, chewing ice75: tell us about your pets! MY BABIES okay i have two dogs; meg is a black lab and she’s an ol lady now but she’ll always be my angel girl and she got me thru some dark times in high school tbh, okay then my boy - Buddy Boo Rainbow Maurice is his official name (blame my sister) but my lil buddy he’s my saviour honestly, so he’s a beagle cross but we dunno what with and he’s HUGE like a beagle on steroids but with his lil beagle face and floppy ears like goddamn cutest ever tbh he’s such a bundle of joy i love him So muhc. then i have 3 chickens (we used to have 5 RIP) and they’re called Dragon, Jemima and Sue Ellen (yes, she’s mine, yes named after a Dallas char) they’re p chill i read to them sometimes last summer we read the book thief and hp philosophers stone77: pink or yellow lemonade? yellow79: what's one of the cutest things someone has ever done for you? dan’s mum invited me to spend christmas with them when she found out my family were going away and she made me a special christmas eve present like i was just ~another kid in the family and i went again this year and honestly it’s just the sweetest thing i love them all so much and they’re all so welcoming and wonderful and i don’t deserve such goodness in my life (also shoutout to delani who drove all the way to may and kate’s to surprise me for new years!!!)81: describe one of your friend's eyes using the most abstract imagery you can think of. like the sea when a storm is brewing, but with a hint of steel underneath and the sun is still just visible on the horizon83: what's some of your favorite album art? tswizzle speak now, ed sheeran + ??? idk i use spotify on my phone mostly i don’t look at album art hahah85: do you read comics? what are your faves? sometimes, i like anything about girls tbh87: what are some movies you think everyone should watch at least once in their lives? The Holiday, Star Wars, The Parent Trap, Rear Window, 17 Again, It’s a Wonderful Life89: are you close to your parents? yes they’re my heroes91: where do you plan on traveling this year? canada! hopefully disneyworld too, and i;d like to see more european cities; lisbon, krakow, berlin!!93: what's the hairstyle you wear the most? i either shove my hair in a bun, braid it or wear it down 95: what are your plans for this weekend? hang out with my friends!97: myer briggs type, zodiac sign, and hogwarts house? INTJ, scorpio, gryffindor99: list some songs that resonate to your soul whenever you hear them. little miss, ours, truth in your eyes, follow your arrow, sugar we’re going down, a thousand miles, she is the sunlight, cotton eye joe

[love-loser]

16 or 2 👀 or maybe 16 AND 2? Like younger brat tony who’s breadwinner to his exasperated older hubby,,

16. professor peter x cocky student tony 

SORRY OMG THIS IS SO LONG jkhddh thank you for the ask! i didnt know how to combine 2 and 16 so i just wrote 16, but someone else asked for 2 so fear not, you will be getting it. hope you enjoy

prompts here 

MOBILE USERS READ HERE PLS!! 

Even though college was a volatile time for many, this whole higher education thing was going pretty well for Peter. Granted, he’s the one teaching the class, but still, pretty good seeing as see he was so young (25) and oh so (very) endearing, both of which helped him get along with his students.

Well, most of his students.

He never knew just how much one person could annoy him but walking into class, seeing that stupid smirk on the younger boy’s smirk, just made his coffee taste that much bitter, the junior never failing to make his day just a bit shitty, somehow. 

Even more- he’d always managed to somehow know the material even though Peter was sure he was either sleeping or on his phone half the time. The Engineering professor could probably count on one hand the number of times he’d seen the brunette actually take notes. And it was already halfway into the semester. It hadn’t even caught Tony off guard when he tried to call on the boy. 

What he hated the most, though, was the way Tony’s stupid, stupid, intense, dusky eyes always seemed to undress him everytime he walked into the room. The way his hands made his excessively big iPhone look tiny when he wrapped his capable fingers around it and- not to mention those same fingers that rubbed against his lips as he blatantly checked his own professor out, in class, no less. Did kids these days have no manners?

Yes, maybe Peter was exaggerating just a tiny bit–– it’s not like Tony tormented him everyday or openly harassed him, but it’s the principle of it, see. In Peter’s mind, he only has one goal when it comes to Tony Stark, aka (surprisingly) straight A student, aka genius, playboy, billionaire, philanthropist most annoying boy on campus. 

And that goal: To put him in his place.

Peter can’t imagine what it’ll be like for the student when he gets to senior year in just half a semester–– in fact, even the very thought of Tony treating any of his teachers this way (or anyone) sends the assistant professor’s matchbox heart into insistent, restless flames.

(He chalks it up to just pure concern for his student.)Not jealousy.

Peter even writes up a list between inputting scantron grades, of why exactly he hates Tony’s guts.

Eloquently, he titles it, ❌ Tony Stark ❌.

1. Taller than me by an inch 1.5 cm.

2. Somehow knows my favourite breakfast from panera bread.

3. Always borrows notes from other people when he’s absent EVEN THOUGH HE KNOWS I HAVE COPIES BY MY DESK!

4. Wears those stupid glasses all the time.

5. Spends an average of 6 minutes after class just cleaning up, making me WAIT

6. Never pays attention in class but always sets the curves on tests.

7. Always flirts with other people outside the hall before class. (distracting!)

8.

On the eighth, Peter’s mind draws a blank. He’d thought that he could go on and on when given the chance, but maybe now isn’t the time- after all, he does only have 2 braincells left after mindlessly typing in scores.

It’s about 5:43 pm now, which probably means he should go after entering this last girl’s score and-

Done. Rarely do other professors ever stay this late, but Peter isn’t really in the mood to stick around and see. He grabs his trusty bullet journal- the one he proudly spent 2 and a half hours on in the beginning on the year, and also the one he just slandered Tony in, which, speaking of the devil-Shitshitshit, avoid him before he annoys you, Pete. It turns out his stiff, minecraft esque speedwalking in the other direction still isn’t enough to deter Tony, who looks up from his phone and calls out a nonchalant, “Hey, Mr. Parker!” Peteralmost scoffs at the sheer level of disrespect in that one line- how dare he? Who does he think he is?! At least, that’s what he sputters mentally.

Physically, the brunet is ready to embrace a thousand year nap. 

Peter mentally debates whether or not to stop and give Tony the time of day, his aforementioned 2 brain cells bantering back and forth before, eventually, Tony just decides he will have a conversation with Peter, whether he likes it or not. “Hey, earth to Mister,” Tony says, suddenly in front of his face, dangerously close. 

“Hi, Tony. You do know my first name isn’t mister, right? And you should be calling me Professor.” Peter says, voice scolding. “Okay, then, professor,” Tony says, though Peter knows he won’t really listen to him, “What’re you doing so late? Isn’t it past your bedtime? You need sleep to grow taller.”Well- okay, this is getting ridiculous. 

“That’s no way you should be talking to your elders, much less your lecturer, Tony,” Peter reprimands, starting to walk again. Hopefully, he’ll be left alone now.Unsurprisingly, and to Peter’s horror, Tony only starts striding backwards easily, as if he’d grown up learning how to walk that way. “But you’re so young. You barely look like my elder, much less a teacher,” Tony’s eyes flicker down, then drag back up, and Peter tries not to flush at this. “That’s not to say you don’t look good, though, the opposite, really.”

Peter only scoffs at this, round eyes rolling in disbelief, a warm tinge to his cheeks to top it all off. He stops abruptly, ego puffing just a bit when Tony stumbles.

“Actually, why don’t we talk about that, Tony?” He stops just to mentally imprint Tony’s somewhat panicked expression, before continuing with an adamant, “I’ve seen the way you act in class- the way you look at me,” which sounds much more scandalous than it should be.

Peter’s voice lowers to a hush, registering that they’re still in a school building, where anyone could be listening. Trust no one, not even yourself. 

“It’s not appropriate. I’m not some romantic interest for you to try to indulge in, and I’d much rather you put some of that attention to the lecture’s material instead.”

A moment passes by, then two, and Peter is still staring Tony straight in the eyes, his own hard with determination, brows furrowed. 

After a pregnant pause, the student clears his throat. 

“Do you wanna be?”

“Excuse me?”

“I mean, yeah, you’re cute professor,” Tony admits shamelessly, “Why don’t you just give me a bit of a chance? I’m not that bad, I’m actually very great.”“That’s exactly what a bad person would say,” Peter points out.

“Let me prove that I’m not, then,” Tony says. Then, his phone dings, “Well, I have to go. But I mean it, mister! Bye,” And with that, Tony bids him goodbye with a wave and a blown kiss.

Peter shudders.

Yuck.

-

What is not so yuck, though, is the next morning, is when Peter gets in at approximately 8:30 am. There’s a still toasty croissant on his desk, with a orange post it note.  

Hope you enjoy this. I was late bc i was picking it up so i just decided to skip for the whole day- TS

Peter, infuriatingly, knows exactly who wrote the note, and couldn’t resist the urge to roll his eyes. He’d been doing that alot lately.‘Late picking it up so he just decided to skip the whole day over a croissant, are you kidding me,’ Peter doesn’t bother actually protesting against the innocent pastry, though, instead setting his bag down and taking it out of the pastry bag. He recognises the label- it’s from the campus coffee shop. Tony was late to class picking up food from an establishment on campus. 

The kid’s gotta have a demerit, or something, because that might be going just a little too far, even for him. It’s like being late to a party you’re already at, but leave it to Tony Stark to somehow find a way. 

Well, that’s too bad. There was suddenly going to be a pop quiz today. 

-

Peter, later, finds that he has to reach deep inside himself to not literally slap the living shit out of Tony’s face when the boy opens the door to his lecture hall as the professor is packing up later that day.

“So you are here,” is what he says instead, eyes narrowed accusingly. He still doesn’t get why Peter doesn’t just come to class if he’s already there- are his lessons really that bad?  

“Indeed I am,” is the answer that comes, infuriatingly nonchalant. “Miss me?” 

“Never,” He huffs, slinging his bag over his shoulder. 

“Did you at least like the breakfast I got you?”

Hell yes.“No. What would be better, Stark, is if you actually attended class while you were on campus.” Then, he adds in without thought, “Especially mine.”There’s a beat of silence, the words not quite sinking in for the professor yet- it’s a different story for Tony, though. “Especially yours?” Tony asks with a grin, and the tone in his voice makes Peter immediately regret whatever he said to induce said piece of shit’s intonation.“Yes. Is there a problem?” One strong brow raises in inquiry. 

“Not at all,” Tony’s stupid smile only widens, “The opposite, really.”