#a fic idea possibly hitting an archive near and dear to you soon

[heliotrope155]

So in the version of post-canon I imagine, quite a lot of people are still alive and I love the idea that Dean and Cas properly do all the holidays, partly in an effort so Claire, Jack , and Sam can experience them as family and partly because Dean likes getting excited about the little things and Cas loves letting him go absolutely crazy with decorations.

[pleasantwizardphilosopher]

Here it is! Chapter 2 of my current fic, based on the first one. Here I explore Lena's past.

Lena always wanted to help, even when her whole family acted otherwise, she wanted to do good. She had been adopted by the Luthors at the young age of 4, and before that, well, there wasn’t much, she had already forgotten her birth mother’s face, all that was left was warmth and melodic birdsong-like voice, soft, gentle, and caring in a way she’d soon forget, and a light smell of lavender and cotton. Her mother drowned, she is still not sure how that happened, one instant they were both on the shore of the lake, laughing and playing with the sand, the next moment it was all splashing sounds and bubbling, then, nothing. No scream, no cries, the green-eyed girl never cried and never mourned.

When she arrived at the Luthor Manor for the first time she felt how the cold halls and whispering air took an enormous spot on her heart and body, cold ice climbing up her nerves and settling as a cold hand on her skin. That feeling never went away. Her stepmother, Lillian only took one full look at her, from her small school-girl shoes to her loose raven hair and forest-green eyes and decided she hated her and would make the little girl’s life a living hell. She never broke her self-promise. She started right away, throwing her stuffed teddy bear, which still had her mother’s scent, to the trash and forbidding her to take it out. Even going as far as to send her to a boarding school in Ireland for most of Lena’s education. Lena always learnt fast, she was a certified genius after all, and learnt to control her reactions, her expressions and to lock up her emotions deep within her mind every time those ice-cold blue eyes looked at her as if she was worth nothing, every time a seething instruction came out of those fine lips, or when they turned into a disgusted scowl towards her. Lillian will never know but she helped build those two very opposite sides of Lena, the cold, calculating and rehearsed woman, and whoever Lena might be like on the inside, when no one is watching.

Actually, it was all of them, who help built Lena like that, cold, controlled, manipulative. Putting in place slowly every brick that would ultimately represent their own destruction (which she hadn’t planned, obviously).

Lionel always cared for her, in his own “here’s money” way, and loved (?) her, she’ll never really know that hell, are Luthors even capable of love? He was a first, that day in her new foster home, after the rescue teams and paramedics managed to untangle little Lena from the cold, lifeless body of her mother, hours after someone had finally noticed the bright green-eyed girl staring fixatedly and intently into the lake. Hours after rescuers and search parties came and dug her mother’s body out of the lake, blue-ish and stiff; he came into the house as someone used to be the most powerful person in the room, he stood tall as his lawyers arranged everything for Lena to go with him. She’ll never forget his eyes, cold, measured and absolutely broken, he smelled like fine tobacco, ironed clothes, and expensive vodka. The Irish girl didn’t know it, but that day Lena Kieran died, and Lena Luthor was born.

Her father did love her, or so he endlessly sore, albeit it definitely didn’t seem like it every time he got home drunk (asshole). It was, fortunately, easy to predict, most days dear Father would come home taking full swings from a very expensive whiskey bottle. It usually happened after a successful expansion, board meeting or launched project, however, other times, he seemingly just wanted to get lost, to run away from the ghosts that plagued his mind. The first signs of his arrival were the roaring engine of his sports car, roaring fiercely as the driver lacked control, almost pushing it through the front double doors. Then, after the front heavy wooden doors were closed behind him by some unfortunate staff member, the scent of sweat, saliva and booze would fill the hallways, a telltale of fear. The first time it happened, she was 5 years old and she didn’t know why Lex and Lillian had suddenly disappeared, so, she went straight to daddy, who had just arrived. Sure, he smelled sour, and his blue eyes were unfocused, glassy, but who could blame her for wanting her father’s attention? When he lifted his hand she innocently and naively thought he was going to lift her, that illusion shattered the moment his ringed hand found her cheek. The stinging pain she felt was drowned down by the hollow sound it made, like broken porcelain, fear squeezing her lungs, taking every breath from them. Tiny drops of splattered blood prickled her white blouse and light green skirt, dripping slowly from her split lip, and she prayed for someone to come rescue her. The air around them stilled, a strong smell of iron filling the hall. Just when he was about to get his second hit, with the back of his hand this time and the full blow of his rings, Lex pulled her away and dragged her to his room, far from Lionel’s grasp, her hero.

After that fatidic night her half-brother Lex, short for Alexander (how sweet), took her under his wing, teaching her everything he knew, he was the only member of the Luthor’s household who actually made her feel welcomed. Their sibling’s relationship started off easy and innocent, with Lex teaching her how to play chess, where she proved her superior ability for the game. Astonished by her abilities and smartness, Lex pulled her into more of his projects, lending her philosophy and physics books, challenging her mind, becoming her mentor, always pushing her harder. Always praised by her older brother, Lena got to overcome great problems and let her bright mind loose, coming up with revolutionary ideas and theories that Lex let her test out in his lab, by his side.

And by his side she designed many innovations that would potentially revolutionize bioengineering and medicine. Her first grand scale development was a first-aid drone, which could be programmed to arrive on site in less than 5 minutes, providing immediate help to people in need with precious extra minutes and allowing medical experts to control it remotely, giving first-instance attention to severely injured people. Its main use was car accidents. She also realized significative advances in cancer research, with nanoparticles and DNA targeted vectors. However, she also worked doing important scientific theorizing and advances with inter-dimensional travel and near-light’s speed travel, she was a certified genius after all, and could understand advanced physics as if it were a kid’s game. It was this particular work that got her giving a magistral conference during an important science colloquium. She was at her first year of PhD studies, after getting a Master’s Degrees from MIT (studied simultaneously) at the surprising age of 20, making people in scientific communities and media outlets go insane.

In that particular fair she crossed paths with several bright-minded people. There were amazing projects, as the one from a South African guy, who theorized that Tesla coils could be supercharged and employed as main power sources for industrial plants. Listening to the guy speak, adding a few helpful comments here and there, as was expected from the genius green-eyed woman; she overheard a couple of investors talking about a water purification system based solely on solar radiation. She was stunned, from what she heard of the project it could be built in series with minor costs and given at an extremely low cost to the general public. An action plan was already being envisioned in her mind, and if her numbers were correct (they always were), the overall fabrication cost would be of five dollars, selling it at seven dollars each unit would represent great profits, simultaneously making the product available for anyone anywhere in the world. She needed to see that. She needed to help them help others, as it was her wish.

She wouldn’t get to see said mind-blowing project though, as the conference she was going to give attracted more attention than previously thought, she had to get together with the staff earlier than planned in order for them to place some microphones on her person and put on a little camera-adequate make up on her face. While she was with that, several TV-screens were placed outside the venue’s auditorium for everyone to watch. Lena thought they were overreacting. She was wrong (gladly). Her conference blew out the auditorium’s capacity as nearly everyone present wanted to hear about her work, there were a few narrow-minded colleagues that tried to throw her off-balance with ironic and physically impossible theories and enquiries and a few others where there just to ogle her. However, most of them were there to marvel at her intelligence and praise her brilliance. By the end of the conference, she was quickly ushered towards a waiting car, she had received a call from Lillian that she was needed in Metropolis as soon as possible, dear father had died (such pity) from a heart attack and Lex would take over LuthorCorp.

When Lex lost his mind, she was also there, by his side. This time, unlike the many other moments she had spent next to him, she didn’t feel safe, nor free, she didn’t feel anything. There was only silence. If the world had stopped spinning right at that instant, Lena couldn’t tell. And then all noises came rushing back, like a tsunami, flooding her mind with unbearable hurt, making her throat close and her fist clench on the armrests in a desperate attempt to ground herself. His breath smelled like vodka, a nasty habit they both had taken up from Lionel, drowning their feelings, he was laughing madly, extremely loud, splitting saliva everywhere, as he told his baby sister about his mass-murder, race-wiping, plan to end Superman and all aliens on Earth. He went on and on, about how other races didn’t belong there and how humans like him (fucking psychopath) had been chosen to protect Earth, he was a savior you see (he wished). Lena wasn’t entirely listening, as her body started to get numb both from being tied to a chair and from the endless hurt and betrayal she was feeling. Her brother, the only truth she knew, the only one who always stood by her, defending her from Lionel’s worst and standing by her on Lillian’s best. Who supported her scientific quests, no matter how out of the box and unlikely they were, who held her in his arms until she felt asleep that first time Lionel hit her, rocking her softly and humming a slow melody, who gave her every book she loved. And now he was gone. The only trace left from her loving brother was his face, now twisted in a scowl almost beyond recognition. At that moment, everything Lena Luthor had built herself to be broke apart.

The FBI freed her hours later, hours from listening to Lex’s xenophobic world-domination plan. By the time they managed to hold Lex down, her tears had already dried on her face, the only trace of them being the mild light grey marks on her cheeks, where they rolled endlessly while she begged her brother to stop and come back to her, and her smeared mascara, from rubbing her eyes with her shoulders in a futile attempt to stop new tears from streaming down her face. The raven-haired woman could only listen above the piercing ringing in her ears, not minding the FBI’s questions, nor her lawyer’s. She felt empty, truly empty, up to a level where the pain seemed to have rooted into her bones and muscles, making her slow and heavy, filled only with sorrow. Just as the man being taken away was Lex’s shell, the brother who loved her and whom she admired; she had now become a shell of her own. Broken beyond recognition, irreparably, the same way glass shatters under a hammer.

She got to her apartment and packed a bag; she didn’t even need to think about it, she grabbed her most important necessities and threw them carelessly into a suitcase, closing it without even bothering to verify its contents. Calling a car to pick her up and telling Jess, her new assistant, to get the board members of LuthorCorp and her personal jet at the ready, as there were modifications that needed to take place at that moment. Without looking back, she strode out of her apartment directly into her waiting car, it took every ounce of her willpower for her not to simply run towards traffic and fling herself to the first taxi in sight. That definitely wasn’t what was expected from her, the new CEO of LuthorCorp since she was next in the succession line after Lex. Feeling her mouth go dry and the huge lump in her throat tighten at the thought of her former half-brother, she instead focused on the road to her private hangar.

Taking two Advil with a generous amount of scotch (thank you very much) she stated for the nth time to her investors why she was moving LuthorCorp’s headquarters to National City (breathe Lena), the company needed a fresh start after everything her blood had done with it, particularly a bald someone she used to know; the throbbing of her head getting worse every instant as those old white misogynists debate her ability to rule the company, as newly promoted CEO. After several more excruciating back and forth arguments her decision was accepted, and it definitely had not anything to do with the ice-cold fear that had settled in her lower back and lungs after that day’s events, nor with the horrors she saw every time she closed her eyes.

She needed a fresh start, one that allowed her to never look back, and so she did, she moved to National City, getting a penthouse in the highest building in the city, she never thought about it, she never regretted it, and furthermore, she never looked back. Not even after the moving company left all her belongings in her new home and she found a picture of her and Lex smiling, not when she first got rid of everything that reminded her of her Luthor upbringing, not when she finally cried herself to sleep, two days after arriving in the new city, two days which she spent napping for less than 20 minutes as the nightmares of her insane brother haunted her, holding her tears back with bench-press strength. She didn’t. And she didn’t regret it, as it was the least she could have asked for after the experience she had lived, seared in her mind and marked in her skin in the shape of dark red lines around her wrists and ankles, bruising slightly. As she unconsciously rubbed her left wrist softy, looking out to the city, seeing the sun rise, bringing with it the soft smell of baked bread and coffee, she thought that maybe this is where she was meant to be after all. Maybe she could forget.

Let me know your thoughts.

You can read both chapters on AO3

[lover-of-midnight]

Is there a way out - chapter 27

Rating:

Explicit

Archive Warnings

Graphic Depictions Of Violence

Rape/Non-Con

Major Character Death

Categories:

F/M

M/M

Fandom:

Merlin (TV)

Relationships:

Arthur/Original Male Character

Merlin/Arthur Pendragon (Merlin)

Merlin & Arthur Pendragon (Merlin)

Leon & Arthur Pendragon (Merlin)

Leon & Morgana (Merlin)

Leon/Morgana (Merlin)

Side Morgana/Leon

Characters:

Arthur Pendragon (Merlin)

Merlin (Merlin)

Leon (Merlin)

Morgana (Merlin)

Gaius (Merlin)

Balinor

Additional Tags:

Alternate Universe - Dark

Dark fic

Dead Dove: Do Not Eat

Rape/Non-con Elements

Rape Recovery

domestic abuse

Suicide Attempt

Depression

Arranged Marriage

soul mates

Non-Traditional Alpha/Beta/Omega Dynamics

Non-Consensual Touching

Omega Arthur Pendragon (Merlin)

Alpha Merlin (Merlin)

Alpha Uther

Beta Morgana

Beta Leon

Alpha/Beta/Omega Dynamics

forced bondage

Prince Merlin (Merlin)

Queen Hunith

King Balinor

Suicide

Kidnapped

toture

Smut in chapter 34

Wedding

Language:English

Arthur jumped slightly when there was a knock on the door. He was surprised to see that Gwain was already when he opened the door.

Gwain was dressed in casual clothes. “Hello, Princess.” There was a lightly teasing tone to his voice. Arthur couldn’t help but raised an unimpressed eyebrow. He had a feeling that Gwain was a big jokester.

“Hallo Gwain.” Arthur’s voice was still on the quiet side. As if he was scared to raise trouble.

“So I am in charge of showing you around today. First thing first, did you eat today?” Gwain was certain that he could see Arthur’s ribs through the clothing. It hanged loos on him, even though it was clear that it was made for him.

“Yes.” Arthur was uncertain why he would care about his eating. Gwain just gave him a small smile. He knows how it was. It is hard to pick up weight after going long times with eating.

“Well, I didn’t have breakfast yet. So kitchen first, I am sure the cook would have some of her famous honey bread. Did you have honey bread before?” Gwain prattled on.

Arthur felt slightly overwhelmed. “No.” He looked at the floor. He wasn’t sure how he should react.

“Well then, there is no time to waist.” Gwain gently took Arthur’s hand, pulling him to the door. Arthur easily followed. His mind spun slightly. But he followed Gwain.

Gwain talked about everything and something on the way to the kitchen. “I love cooking. When I first got here, it was one of the classes I had signed up for. That was something else. Working out every though through chopping up some food.” Gwain’s voice softened slightly.

Arthur gave him a curious look but he didn’t ask what Gwain means. When they got to the kitchen, a busty woman was talking to another. Their faces were so friendly and open that Arthur couldn’t help but feel comfortable immediately.

“Gwain.” The one-woman pulled him into a hug. “We were wondering when you would be coming down.”

The kitchen was warm, Arthur could see at least two ovens begin used and he was sure that soon the pot will also be used.

“My dear lady, do you by any chance have some of your famous honey bread. My friend here never had honey bread.” Gwain pulled Arthur closer so that he could introduce them.

With the attention of both cooks on him, Arthur couldn’t help but blush.

“And who is this?” The woman was friendly as she reaches out to Arthur, but Arthur just backs away a bit.

“This is the princess omega.” Gwain kept a firm look on Arthur, he had a feeling he would need to tell Merlin, how he was in the presence of other people.

The two women almost jumped up and down. “That’s wonderful. What is your name darling?” The older woman asked. Her eyes were a dark green, something that Arthur had rarely seen. For a moment, he just wanted to run.

He wished that it was rather Merlin with him than Gwain, but he also had a sneaky suspicion that Merlin wanted him to make friends. But why Gwain?

“Arthur Ma’am.” Arthur kept his eyes on the floor. He could feel his heart trying to climb out of his chest.

“What a beautiful name. Welcome in Mercia. I am Rose and this is my younger sister Lilly.” Rose voice was like a rough melody, it almost reminded Arthur of the waves crashing against rocks, but it wasn’t that completely.

“Well you boys are in luck, I just took out a fresh batch of honey bread. Come, come.” Rose hands were moving around, as she showed them to chairs near a roaring fire.

Arthur was a little bit unsure as he sat down. This felt wrong. Why are they so friendly?

If he came near the kitchen in Camelot, Audrey had shooed him out. The only time he was allowed in there was when he had lessons with her.

He looked at Gwain, his eyes telling him exactly the fact that he was unsure.

“Are you alright Arthur?” Gwain’s voice had lost the joy and playfulness. He could see that there is more than likely going to be a serious talk going to happen.

“Yeah.” Arthur’s eyes had shifted up before he looked at the floor again. He was sunk into himself.

Gwain was silent for a few moments. “You know you won’t get in trouble?” His voice had softened slightly.

Arthur didn’t answer him, the whole time, he is just waiting for the other shoe to drop. To do something wrong. He bit his lip slightly, this was just plain embarrassing. There was nothing to cry about.

“Arthur, Mercia is one of the few safe places for omegas. It doesn’t matter from what Kingdom you come from. They only ask for loyalty in return. But you would be safe here. You would be able to live your life in peace.” Gwain didn’t raise his voice.

He had is own path. When the knights had found him many moons ago, he was almost dead. Running away was not his brightest idea, but it was the only way.

Arthur still didn’t answer him. “Why don’t we ask these lovely ladies if we can take some bread, and go back to your chambers. We can continue the tour this afternoon or tomorrow if you want.” Gwain kept his voice relaxed.

Arthur could only nod. He couldn’t but help and hate himself for this. Gwain was begin nice to him, and all he can do is make his life difficult.

When they got back to his chambers, he opened the door allowing Gwain to enter. “I’m sorry.” Gwain almost fell over.

“Why?” His voice had a harsh note to it. He almost hit himself when he saw Arthur flinch. He took a deep breath. There is no reason to make Arthur have a panic attack.

“Arthur, you do not apologize for feeling. I know this is scary, then waiting for them to change. And believe me, that is something that will never truly go away. But you will heal, the wounds will become less painful and other days it would choke you.

“But you never apologize for how you feel.” Gwain fell silent. He didn’t mean to go off on a rant, but something would need to get through to Arthur.

Otherwise, this would only go downhill.

“How do you know that?” Arthur was scared to ask the question, he hoped that he didn’t intrude in a private matter.

Gwain was silent for a long time, he broke the loaf in two. Handing one part to Arthur.

“My family was nobility. Father was always abusive. No matter what I did, he would find fault with it and lay into me. Mother, well she just turned a blind eye. It didn’t bother her, that her son was getting beaten for not getting dressed fast enough.” Gwain fell silent for a moment.

“You don’t have to continue, I am sorry for intruding.” Arthur quickly filled the silence. The last thing he wants to do is intrude in someones else private life.

“No, you would do go to hear the story. When I turned thirteen, father had decided that it is time to sell me off to the highest bidder. I didn’t like it, so the night before the auction would happen, I threw my linen rope through the window.

“Using it I made an escape route, but I was still too far up, to safely land, I jumped the rest, injuring my ankle. The only thing that went through my head, except for fuck, was that I needed to getaway. As far as possible.

“So I hobbled run into the woods. I had no idea how to survive in the forest since it was determined since a youngling, that I would be an omega. So why would I need to know how to track or hunt?

“I was in the woods, no idea where I was going, and living from berries I found when knights of Mercia found me. If they hadn’t found me, I would have been dead.

“And in the beginning, I was like you. Scared that this is all a trick, that as soon as I made a mistake they would take me back to rot in the woods. But they didn’t. The matrons at the safe house I was staying, made sure that if something happened that I was comfortable. Taken care off.

“I met Merlin later on when he was volunteering at the house. He will take care of you Arthur, a blind man can see that he is already in love with you. And I know that it is hard. But you need to talk to him.

“If something is bothering you, tell him. That is the only way you would be able to move on from the issue, if you can’t tell him about it, write about it. But you need to communicate with him.” Gwain gave Arthur a firm look at the last part.

He was slightly surprised at how easy it was to share the story with Arthur.

“Thank you.” Arthur’s voice was soft, but it was clear that he was grateful to hear Gwain’s story.

Gwain showed with a gesture that Arthur should just eat his bread. When he has a chance he is going to talk to Merlin.

Arthur would need a lot of love.