#a feeble scholar huh?

[youreallyshouldtalkmore]

Nosiness Isn’t a Virtue

A.N:  One-shot with the same artistReader as in the series Once upon a Time which can be found on my Genshin Impact MasterList.  

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“Huh, you’ve been going out in the evenings a lot here lately.” Kaveh remarked as he came out of his study, holding his mug, in time to see Alhaitham open the front door. 

“Seeing as I own this house, I can leave whenever I feel like and not report to you. Meanwhile, you, on the other hand, don’t ever have to report to me if you move out.” 

Kaveh just glowered at him, “I make one passing short remark, and you blow it up as usual.” 

“Then mind your business.” 

“I was until you got sassy with me! Now where have you been going these past couple of evenings?” Kaveh laughed suddenly, “Not like you’re going on a date, and you don’t do overtime. So what, Pupsa Cafe having an event I don’t know about?” 

Alhaitham just stared at Kaveh over his shoulder for a long moment. 

“What?” 

“If you must know, yes, you had it right the first time. I’m going on a date, with my girlfriend.” With that, he stepped out the door and shut it. 

Kaveh scoffed as he heard Alhaitham lock the door, “A date! Please. What self-respecting woman would date him? You don’t have to come up with such a common lie!” 

Kaveh went to step towards the kitchen before he paused. Wait, this is Alhaitham we were talking about here. He had no need to create a lie just to appease the masses. Equally, he could have just left it at ‘None of your business.’ Even more than that, he didn’t have to say anything, and just walked out. 

Kaveh’s eyes bugged as he slammed the mug he was holding onto a random surface and ran for the door.  He locked the door behind him before quickly looking around for Alhaitham. 

The only logical explanation for all of this was that the feeble scholar was in fact telling the truth!! 

He did have a date, with a young lady. The only reason he would mention it, would be that he expected Kaveh to treat it like a joke. 

“Has to be joke! Has to be!” Kaveh murmured, refusing to believe there was any truth to his words until he verified it with his own eyes, “There was just no way!” 

He was about three seconds to giving up as he twisted this way and that, when he finally spotted that that familiar green. He ducked out of sight and peered closely, rolling his eyes. 

Alhaitham was sitting on the bench by a tavern, reading. 

“So typical. He needs a life.” Kaveh muttered. 

Five minutes passed and Kaveh growled, “He really was lying! He is just reading!” 

The architect was ready to give up and leave when suddenly: 

“Hey, Alhaitham! Sorry I’m late!” 

Kaveh got whip lashed when he saw a young woman wave to Alhaitham as she approached him. Alhaitham stood, shutting the book and putting it away. 

Who was that young woman? Kaveh watched amazed as you smiled up at Alhaitham, who returned it ever so slightly. Wait, he needed to get closer! This had to be a carefully crafted prank! He tried his best to get closer without being seen. 

“Sorry about that! Meeting with my client ran overtime.” 

“Not a big deal. Not like it happens all the time. Did you want to go in to eat now or…?” 

“I’m not quite hungry. How about we walk around a little first?” 

“Agreed.” 

Kaveh’s mouth parted as he darted out of view. A shop owner gave him a weird look. Wait, Alhathiam was being considerate? Had the whole world gone mad? 

“How was your day, Acting Grand Master?” you teased. 

Alhaitham sighed, “I will be glad when they finally assigned a new Grand Master. I have to monitor the Inter-Darshan Championship next month. It’s mandatory, they said, as Acting Grand Master. Great, more work I do not need.” 

You giggled, “Well, when you are assigned back to Scribe, let me know and I’ll throw you a party.” 

“Please don’t.” 

“Come on, you know me. You know that just means I’ll cook a meal for us, and we’ll spend a quiet evening together, just the two of us.” 

Kaveh choked on air. Alhaitham actually had a young lady willing to cook for him? Just how long had he been hiding you? And how did Kaveh miss it all this time? 

Kaveh vibration of anger stalled when he saw Alhaitham give you a small smile.  

“That sounds agreeable.” the scholar replied. 

Kaveh choked on air and coughed as his eyes bugged, “It’s official, the world is ending…..” 

“Kaveh, what are you doing?” 

Kaveh jumped a foot in the air and whirled around to see Cyno looking at him reproachfully. Just then you looked up to see Cyno and waved. Alhaitham turned to see who you were waving too and rolled his eyes at who he found. You frowned at him. Did he know that blonde haired man? Or was he rolling his eyes at Cyno? 

You trailed down towards Cyno, “Hey, Cyno, you aren’t on the clock, are you?” 

Cyno folded his arms, “I just got off, on my way home, and found this miscreant disrupting public order.” 

Alhaitham folded his arms, “Book him, then.”  

You frowned up at Alhaitham in confusion. He wasn’t generally this hostile towards people. 

“Stop acting like you two don’t know me!” Kaveh pouted, “Anyway…” He smiled at you, “My name is Kaveh. And you are?” 

“I’m Y/N L/N, nice to meet you. Are you all friends?”

“No!” both Cyno and Alhaitham stated. 

“Yes!” Kaveh said at the same time. 

You blinked. Did you accidentally get into a situation? 

Alhaitham sighed, “Y/N, Kaveh isn’t really worth noting, but he’s my roommate.” 

Kaveh looked shocked that Alhaitham admitted it to a newbie so suddenly. But then again, this was the man who brought home the Traveler one day randomly. He hissed at him, “That is supposed to be a secret.” He looked around furtively hoping no one heard that. 

Your eyes lit with recognition, “Ahh, so you're that infamous roommate.” 

Kaveh felt a bead of sweat go down his back. Exactly what has Alhaitham been telling you? He needed to turn his impression of him around, and fast. 

Cyno’s eyes narrowed, “That doesn’t explain why you were stalking them.” 

“I wasn’t…stalking!” 

“You were following us because you were nosy, I take it.” Alhaitham interjected. 

“I wasn’t…I was….wait, you could tell?” 

“So you admit it!” Cyno asked. 

“No!” Kaveh cried before looking at Alhaitham, “How did you know?” 

“There is nothing about you that is subtle.” 

Kaveh glanced nervously towards you, who had a small smirk on your face. Why was this rather amusing, and you had just met him? You glance at Alhaitham to see he looked annoyed, but then again he looked that way 99% of the time. 

“I believe I can explain this.” Alhaitham turned to Cyno, “See, I told him, I had a date with my girlfriend, and he didn’t believe me.” 

Cyno’s eyes took on a look of understanding, “I see.”

“Wait, why aren’t you surprised? This is Alhaitham, we are talking bout here.”

But Kaveh got distracted by your head snapping up toward Alhaitham with wide eyes. Why did you seem so shocked? Wait, did you even know about this development?  

“G-g-girlfriend?” you stuttered. 

Alhaitham looked down at you, “Yes, girlfriend. I didn’t stutter.” 

Kaveh watched in awe as you slowly ducked your head, a smile spreading on your face. 

Alhaitham cocked his head, “Is that alright?”

You nodded, twittering on your feet, “Yes, it’s fine.” 

Cyno spoke, “Kaveh, this isn’t news. I already knew they were dating.” 

Kaveh gaped at Cyno before looking at you and Alhaitham, “How?” 

“Y/N knows Tighnari and Collei. They told me she was dating Alhaitham.” 

“So I’m the last one to find out?!” 

Alhaitham snorted, “I wasn’t aware that I had to keep you updated on my love life!”

“You are incapable of having a love life!” snapped Kaveh. 

You bristled at that, raising your head to glare at the architect, “Why?” 

Kaveh realize what he implied and backtracked, “I’m sure you are a lovely lady, Y/N. But this is Alhaitham, he’s not exactly sociable. He’s snappish and keeps to himself.” 

“He likes to mind his own business and have a meaningful use of his time. So do I. Point?” You returned. 

You returned it so quickly, Kaveh was at a lost for words. He looked at Cyno. 

“I’m not in this conversation. Since it seems you aren’t currently disrupting the public order, I’ll let it slid and be on my way. Don’t cause any more trouble, Kaveh.” Cyno stated before exchanging goodbyes with you and walking off. 

There was an awkward pause, where Kaveh turned back towards you and Alhaitham all the while sneaking peaks at you.  

Finally you raised an eyebrow, “Do we have a problem, or something? 

“No! No! Definitely not! It’s just…interesting.” Kaveh stated, “Let me get this straight: You actually like this lug?” 

You glanced up at Alhaitham before dipping your head, “Yes, I do.” 

Kaveh looked between the two of you as if he could not believe it. Alhaitham had an impeccable mask as he just stared drolly at Kaveh, “This foolishness has made me hungry. How about you Y/N?”

You nodded. You didn’t get very far on your walk but with all the commotion, you found yourself to be hungry now. 

Alhathaim gave a strong nod before glaring at Kaveh, “Then we will be on our way.” 

Kaveh glared, “I want to get to know this saint of a woman.” 

You busted out laughing, “Saint of a woman? How’d you figure that?”  

“Saint of a woman. Any woman who willingly puts up with whatever this is….” He gestured to Alhaitham, “...has to be a truly incredible woman and I want to get to know her.” 

Alhaitham snorted, “Well, it won’t be tonight and beside we are going to a restaurant. Where they pay with mora. Mora you don’t have.” 

Kaveh glared harshly at Alhaitham and would have said something if not for your laugh, “Yes, we really must be going so perhaps another time we can chat.” 

Kaveh gave a stunning smile, “I shall hold you to that, my lady!” 

“Please don’t.” sighed Alhaitham, “I don’t want to suffer him any more than I already do.” 

“You don’t have to be there.” 

“Like I’d leave you alone with her.” 

“Why? Afraid, she’ll wake up and find there is better out there.” 

“No problem with that. Better has mora, you don’t.” 

“Must you bring that up time and time again?” 

“You keep living in my house. You have a debt to me now, a mile long now. Yes, I’m keeping track of it. You literally have no mora and if you do, I ask, why are you still at my house? 

“Pipe down! I don’t want anyone else to know and I’m working on it!” 

“When?” 

“I was working when you left!” 

“Then why are you here? You got distracted didn’t you? Curiosity became so great that you let it override the time you need to try to collect some mora. Nosiness is not a virtue, you know.” 

By now you were laughing so hard you had to lean into Alhaitham to try not to make a fool of yourself. You buried your face in his arm as you stifled your laughter. This distracted Kaveh as he watched in awe once more. He was really anxious to figure out where your head was at. 

You finally lifted your face and looked at between two of them, mirth still lurking, “Is it always like this?” 

“Every single day.” Alhaitham sighed. 

“I try, just so you know.” Kaveh told you, “I try to be the bigger person but no, he doesn’t let you!” 

You gave a lopsided grin, “To be fair, this could have been avoided if you hadn’t followed us. Sounds kind of nosy if you ask me.” 

Kaveh’s mouth dropped and Alhaitham smirked at this.  Were you more like this feeble scholar than he thought? Was that why you liked him? 

“Close your mouth and go back, Kaveh. Stop disrupting public order. I’m not wasting anymore of our date time on you!” Alhaitham stated before tapping you on the arm. 

“I’ll see you around, Kaveh!” You stated as you walked ahead and around Kaveh. 

Kaveh finally breathed, “I swore the world just shifted and bounce. I felt it!” 

With a shake of his head he walked back to Alhaitham’s house. When he turned on the doorknob he ‘ahhed’, and reach for his key….

…that he didn’t have. 

Kaveh resisted the urge to scream, “Wait!! Alhaitham took both keys again and I locked the door!!” 

Meanwhile, after your dinner, Alhaitham pulled out his pouch of mora to pay when a key fell out. You picked it up and after he was doing situating the bill, you handed it to him. 

Looking at it he grimace, “I suppose I took both key sets again.” 

“Both?” 

Alhaitham pulled out his own key set, making you laugh, “Even your subconscious wants him out of the house.” 

[empyreanparadisaea]

He is quiet, reticent, studying the long, lithe hand that rests so close to his, almost touching. Usually, he withdraws from it, averse to others trespassing on the solitude he keeps for himself, a haven rather than a prison, it’s different when it’s Kaveh. He regards it with caution, acknowledging the anomaly that was his need for contact. In what looks accidental but is anything but he allows their pinkies to brush and as he leans over to inspect the page Kaveh was discussing his hand rests tentatively over the other students. “ huh, imagine that, you’re right about something.” Whilst he doesn’t intend for it to sound goading, more akin to teasing, the quirk of his mouth looks quite like a smirk.

@venstm || discord prompt and this! || From Alhaitham

It was something anyone could've picked up on. Honestly, he was more surprised people hadn't noticed it sooner. But he supposed that's what the old farts in the Akademiya were for. Snuffing out new ideas at any chance they could. It's why he and those old Sages kept bumping heads back in those days. At the very least Haitham could spot it just as he had.

Just as quickly as he did. The light brush of their skin was barely noticed. It was a small jump in warmth. As quickly as he had noticed it, Haitham had to snuff it out. With his usual banter with the blond.

"H-Hey! What do you mean by that?! I'm always right, you just never listen to me!" The quick warmth is pulled away but not for long. For soon it returned in the form of a playful jab at the scholar's side. Like the other, Kaveh wasn't too terribly upset. In fact, he was laughing a bit! Laughing as he jabbed the junior's side a second time.

"And what's all this muscle? Since when did you need it for reading books, Mr. Feeble Scribe?!"

[hungnitan]

Xianzhou TB 2.4 Impression

First of all, I didn't expect to receive full blow all Xianzhou x Borisin lore after knowing it's only Nanoka traning arc synopsis so this suprise me in good ways (lol)

While I sense tension every Feixiao Huaiyan Jingyuan + Jiaoqiu keep talking in sly ways scene, sometimes we're getting trio student master funny while somehow reckless scene. And funny enough these way two different stories goes well each other !

Mentionable scene :

I'm laugh remembering this scene like hoyo really love to memeing things (lol)

Tbh I don't know why he dislikes being called a cook, especially he love his spicy nabe (lol), now the question is he called himself a healer but why you're not abundance but nihility ?

And here we goes, the feeble scholar academic talks. Always remember to sus everyone use that words (lol)

Feixiao Yukong convo. It's interesting to know Yukong still searching for real Tingyun and suprisingly the one who know that info out of all people is Ruan Mei !

Oh Moze, you really hit close to us introverts if you don't have assassin's creed vibe (now I want him but oh well he's 4* anyways lol)

So we can conclude previous Loufu TB morelike prologue for this arc plus it sounds to me like SH making Luofu indebted on AE, create stellaron problems and Jingliu surrender herself are for this moment. There's possibility Elio saw Luofu destruction because of Hoolay's prison break plan.

Like there's three big group join forces just for Hoolay prison break which I think even Jingyuan or Fuxuan can't defend them all.

My conclusion : This story elevate Luofu TB as whole different story ! It explain most biggest weirdness I thought after finish Luofu TB before but then again, this TB needs your knowledge on books shattered around Luofu (lol) like Borisin and Foxian lore.

PS : but wow our AE really can't rest huh, after Penacony big event now this...

[nulltune]

Cherry blossoms are nice, for a time, Alhaitham concludes, seeing as they are both aesthetically pleasing and soft in texture. However, the one thing the scribe can do without is the amount of petals that fall, always finding annoying ways to catch in his hair, his book, and his cloak. Soon, Alhaitham raises his hand, fingers brushing over his nose, who knew that this man was allergic to pollen? Because, without delay, he sneezes, but a lot gentler than expected — shaking his head and mumbling something along the lines of, “Oh.” Sorry Hakuno, he isn’t that stoic all the time. ✨ (Alhaitham to Hakuno)

unprompted,  always accepting !   @basbousah  ♡

how pretty.  the shower of petals,  and the man they seemed to be insistently cling upon.  the soft pink was quite the nice addition to his more muted and green color scheme  ——  ah,  cherry blossoms amidst lush greenery.

other than admiring alhaitham,  hakuno was discreetly trying to place a petal on top of his hair sprout  ( why ?   ... why not ... )  an arduous task,  given the difference in their height,  but she was the stubborn sort,  and after several hops attempts,  managed to accomplish it !   before she could truly bask in her victory,  however,  it is shaken off as a side effect of a sneeze that leaves the scribe.

... a surprisingly soft sneeze,  that leaves the maiden blinking.       ❛   huh.  cute.   ❜       she comments it as a matter of fact.  a pause,  and she leans in,  now speaking with a lilt that carried a more teasing intent.       ❛   eh ...  and here i thought you'd have a loud,  old man - esque kind of sneeze ...   ❜       she didn't,  but where's the fun in that !   it'd fit that feeble scholar image of his,  anyway.  probably.

—there's a terribly mischievous thought to place a petal on his nose to hear that gentle sneeze again,  but hakuno knows not to act on it,  offering a handkerchief instead.

[plumblossomcafe]

Ch.82: Through the Predawn Night

The next day

Paimon: Candace! We're here! Has everyone arrived?

Candace: Everyone is already waiting inside.

Paimon: Well, what're we waiting for! Let's join them!

Candace: Please wait a moment.

Aether: What's the matter?

Candace: Before attending the meeting, I hope you can promise me one thing.

Paimon: What do you need?

Candace: Promise me that you won't commit to anything too reckless.

Paimon: Hmm... what do you think?

Aether: Sure, I'll try not to.

Candace: Okay...

At the village chief's house

Paimon: Everyone's here so early! But why isn't anybody talking?

Alhaitham: We already discussed things a bit.

Dehya: Hey, where've you been? I've missed you two!

Cyno: Are you ready?

Aether: We can start now.

Alhaitham: Very well.

After some discussion and debates, the group finally works out a detailed plan together

Paimon: Are you sure this is gonna work?

Dehya: I gotta admit, it's bold. Color me impressed!

Cyno: Hm... It's worth a try.

Alhaitham: The point of discussion is to arrive at a solution. Let's cut the small talk and move to the next point.

Paimon: Oh, you're making Paimon nervous...

Outside after a while

Candace: You're finally done.

Dehya: I have some other stuff to take care of. Catch you all later! C'mon, don't gimme that face! I know what you're going to say. I'll be careful.

Candace: That's what I wanted to hear. Take care. Well, Aether, Paimon... Judging from your expressions, the meeting must've been quite productive.

Paimon: You can tell?

Candace: I'm not that good at scheming or strategy, but I can sense people's emotions. And based on your reaction, things must have gone quite well.

Aether: We'll make our move on the next Jnagarbha Day.

Paimon: Paimon's a little worried... Hopefully, nothing will go wrong!

Candace: To be honest, I feel the same... But you're already some of the most capable people I know. So, you have my trust.

Paimon: Hoho... Candace gave us a compliment!

Candace: Your deeds speak for themselves.

Paimon: Candace, we stayed behind to tell you that although you won't be coming with us, we'll be sure to remember your words.

Candace: I'm very glad to hear that. I've said the same thing to everyone here today as I said to you when you arrived: Your safety is the most important thing. Only when you're safe can the plan be successful. So please, take care.

Aether: Thank you, Candace.

Candace: You're welcome. And thank you for taking my advice. Good luck... with everything. I'll be here in the village praying for you.

Rahman: ...Hmm, sounds good. I'll go make some preparations.

Alhaitham: Okay.

Paimon: Alhaitham!

Alhaitham: Have you finished saying your goodbyes?

Paimon: Yeah, also Candace told everyone to be careful.

Alhaitham: Yes, she did. But I think my point also bears repeating. Our plan is not child's play. We won't be able to achieve anything if we're simply careful. We must go beyond that and fully commit ourselves to it. I hope this is clear to you.

Aether: I understand and accept.

Paimon: Huh? Shouldn't you be saying something more cheerful to boost our morale right now?

Alhaitham: Didn't we already do that during the meeting?

Paimon: You can never have enough words of encouragement!

Alhaitham: In that case, Candace can coddle you to your heart's content while I continue to remind you of the seriousness of our situation. We all have our jobs to do, after all. It's like how some people can be put in charge of logistics, while others will fight on the front lines.

Aether: ...Makes sense.

Paimon: Hmm, speaking of the front lines... you don't look anything like a soldier.

Alhaitham: Of course. Compared to the mercenaries, I'm merely a feeble scholar. But the advantage of not being a mercenary is that I get to stay in a safer place and offer my strategic insight. Just think about that mercenary who lost his mind. Mercenary groups are facing constant danger every single day.

Paimon: Well, being a scholar is also a high-risk occupation... And you are a scholar!

Alhaitham: I'm not like the rest of them. Even among members of the same species, some will exhibit far more potential than others.

Paimon: This guy... Hmph, Paimon still remembers when those mercenaries in Port Ormos called you a lunatic!

Alhaitham: All intellectuals are lunatics in the eyes of fools. I'll take that as a compliment. That reminds me... Aether, do you remember the record we saw in the King Deshret Ruins? It mentioned forbidden knowledge.

Aether: Yes, I remember.

Alhaitham: You have a good memory. Forbidden knowledge has the power to drive people insane, but this fact has never been shared with the public. Even I, who has worked in the Akademiya for some time, was never once informed of this. I think... those mad scholars and mercenaries we encountered may have all fallen victim to the corrupting qualities of forbidden knowledge. But the Akademiya has always held a different view. They have always believed that symptoms of madness are a side effect of human contact with divine knowledge as mere mortals. Come to think of it, perhaps the Akademiya has also never understood the true nature of forbidden knowledge, and thus always approached the issue from the wrong direction... The Withering, Eleazar, and the sandstorms... Don't you think what is happening right now across Sumeru is rather similar to the forbidden knowledge pollution that occurred in the desert thousands of years ago?

Aether: It's definitely possible.

Paimon: But... Paimon thought that Irminsul's disease is what caused the Withering and the sandstorms. At least, that was what Tighnari told us... Wait a second! Could it be that...

Alhaitham: Ah, you've connected the dots. The cause of Irminsul's illness may precisely be the pollution from forbidden knowledge.

Paimon: ...B—But if that's the case, what should we do? This is huge...

Aether: We must tell Nahida about this as soon as possible as soon as we rescue her and Y/n.

Alhaitham: Wait, why do you think Lesser Lord Kusanali would have a solution to this situation?

Aether: She said the key to saving Irminsul is... Contained within the remaining consciousness of Greater Lord Rukkhadevata.

Paimon: You mean, it's related to the scene you saw when you passed out in the Avidya Forest? That whole "...the world... forget me..." thing?

Alhaitham: In that case, it's imperative that we rescue Lesser Lord Kusanali. Only by working with her to save Irminsul can we completely resolve the problems Sumeru currently faces.

Aether: That's right.

Alhaitham: To make sure we're still on track, I would like to check on the state of some of our preparatory work.

Paimon: Where are we going?

Alhaitham: To an Eremite base.

At the Eremite base

Alhaitham: Ah, they're here.

Paimon: Huh, what are they doing here!?

Alhaitham: I gave them some technical work to do.

Morghi: Oh? It's the Scribe... and is that the other traveler I see?

Alhaitham: How's the work going?

Morghi: Ah, yes! We have fixed the devices according to your instructions! One of them is already ready for use, while the others are still under repair.

Paimon: Aren't those devices for Canned Knowledge extraction? What are you doing with those?

Alhaitham: Aether, look here.

Paimon: Huh! M—More Canned Knowledge!? Are you going to put more weird stuff into Aether's head again?

Alhaitham: What's that look on your face? Are you scared?

Paimon: Paimon's a little scared, but very, very furious!

Alhaitham: Hmm. That's an interesting response. Anyway, we're not going to use this just yet. As I mentioned during the meeting, this knowledge capsule contains a decree I drew up in the past. The Akademiya should also have their own copy. And according to the plan we just came up with... Aether... I want you to record something into this capsule.

Aether: Huh? Me?

Alhaitham: Do you believe we can save Lesser Lord Kusanali?

Aether: Yes, I do. What I may lack in faith, I'll make up with my actions.

Alhaitham: Good. Conviction is the most important part of all of this. Now, please get ready and put on this device.

Paimon: You want us to record our conviction into the knowledge capsule?

Alhaitham: Yes.

Paimon: Uh, Paimon is still really worried...

Alhaitham: I understand, but trust me, Paimon, this is something we have to do. It's best if you can do as I say. Because to achieve this impossible task, it sounds like you'll need to fool your own heart first. Although it may feel like a trick, self-encouragement may be the most important tool we have.

Paimon: Hmm... Paimon can see the point you're trying to make...

Aether: I'm ready.

Alhaitham: Please imagine this: We have orchestrated our plan and successfully rescued Lesser Lord Kusanali. As a result, we have changed Sumeru's entire political landscape. Everything went without a hitch, and everyone recognizes and praises our achievements.

Aether: Sure... Okay...

Alhaitham: Now, open your eyes. Here.

Paimon: What's this...?

Alhaitham: Read it out loud.

Some stirring words have been written on the note. Although Aether doesn't quite understand the purpose of this recording, he still followed Alhaitham's instructions for the sake of the plan

Alhaitham: It's done.

Aether: What a fascinating experience...

Paimon: Is your head okay? Does anything hurt?

Aether: Talk, I'm fine.

Alhaitham: It's just a recording. There should be no negative effects.

Paimon: But, what was the point of doing this? Paimon doesn't get it...

Alhaitham: And that's perfectly fine. In any case, these capsules aren't meant to be used by you...

Paimon: Huh? What do you mean?

Alhaitham: Have you forgotten? Our plan needs to account for those who have long relied on the Akasha. You may find it hard to believe, but for those people, everything the Akasha transmits to them is nothing short of absolute truth. Imagine if you've been using a device like the Akasha since the day you were born. This device has always supported you during times of need... After all that time, what do you think you'd become?

Paimon: Uh... A fool? A machine?

Alhaitham: A slave to orders. And that's why rules are so important. In addition, those who understand the rules can delineate boundaries and identify gray areas.

Paimon: Hmm... but why would you need to identify the gray areas?

Alhaitham: You could say that those kinds of ambiguous zones can be very interesting. One might even say they're advantageous in the right hands...

Paimon: The things you're interested in are all really out there... Are all Sumeru scholars like this?

Alhaitham: Anyway, that's enough chitchat. I'm going to take those two to work on some small projects. You can head to Caravan Ribat and start preparing for the next step.

Paimon: Small projects?

Alhaitham: We are going to tinker with the Akasha Terminal and make a few modifications.

Rahman: I thought we agreed on a plan. How can you go back on your word?

Cyno: The plan is too radical and carries a high risk for casualties. I've given it a lot of thought, and in the end, I still can't agree to it.

Rahman: But it's still the best plan we have. As a former matra, you of all people should be able to see the bigger picture and recognize the innate advantages of our plan.

Cyno: I did, and that's how I saw the danger behind these so-called advantages. Alhaitham's plan is even more radical than I imagined.

Paimon: Huh? Why are you guys arguing?

Rahman: My friend, you're just in time. Why don't you help me persuade Cyno... He's turned against our plan.

Cyno: We agreed to work out a plan at the meeting. As mercenaries, you're familiar with the local environment, so you'll take care of the specifics. But then, you went to Alhaitham for suggestions... Had I known Alhaitham would give you those kinds of suggestions, I would not have agreed to the plan.

Rahman: Look, you already know that we're all on the same side here, don't you?

Cyno: Mercenaries place a lot of importance on their bonds of friendship, but also will not hesitate to make sacrifices if they deem the situation to be sufficiently dire. I'm sorry, but as things stand, I can't accept your principles.

Rahman: ...Seems you really do understand the ways of the desert.

Cyno: Aether, Paimon, this is also something you should know. Rahman's plan is to have me work with the Caravan Ribat guards in my capacity as a matra. We'll arrest the mercenaries and escort them into Sumeru City.

Aether: ...

Paimon: Wait, how can we work with the guards!?

Rahman: We can't get through that wall easily, remember? Caravan Ribat would never let so many unregistered members of the Eremites enter Sumeru City. My plan will clear us of any possible suspicion, and also let us enter the city as a big group. There is no better way.

Cyno: That also sounds like something Alhaitham told you. Am I right?

Paimon: Doesn't Alhaitham know how dangerous this plan is!?

Rahman: Of course he does... He told me, "There is no perfect plan, but this can get the job done." He also said that with the help of Cyno and Aether, our chance of success would increase significantly. I never blindly trust anyone, and I've always had a good eye for people. I think he made a number of valid points. It's my own choice to trust you.

Cyno: If I make the arrests alone, I can control myself and prevent you from getting hurt, but I can't guarantee that kind of discipline from the guards. To make the whole thing more convincing, you'll need to resist to some degree. Casualties are inevitable once push comes to shove. I'm okay with the deaths of enemies, but now that we're allies, I'm against the meaningless loss of our own.

Rahman: ...Haha. I can't believe a matra would actually care about us. I've lived a hard life, and I can say that people like you are hard to come by.

Cyno: I've always treated my allies with honesty and respect. They have the right to know important things like this.

Rahman: ...Now, you're making this hard for me.

Paimon: Hey, is there something we can do to help?

Aether: I can help. I know what I'm doing.

Rahman: Haha, I knew you would say that.

Cyno: ...

Paimon: We can help "fight" some of the mercenaries, which should reduce the number of times you'll have to struggle directly with the guards. That should help at least a little bit!

Aether: We should respect the determination of Rahman and his comrades.

Rahman: Cyno, on behalf of my people, I thank you for your kindness. But this is a mission we can not turn our backs on. We strongly value the lives of our friends, but the goal we are about to achieve is even more important. We have no fear of casualties because we crave the spoils of victory. So, please lend us your support! We will show you the determination of us desert-dwellers.

Cyno: ...Well, now that you've put it that way, I can no longer refuse. But remember, you need to follow the plan and not do anything reckless. Candace made it very clear that we can only achieve our goals if we can ensure our safety. Since you and I both recognize the significance of this operation, there should be no more animosity between the followers of the Dendro Archon and those of King Deshret. Everyone's life is equally important.

Rahman: Okay, you have a deal. Let's do this for our shared dream!

Cyno: The guards should be stationed in the courtyard nearby. You can find them there.

After reaching the area where the guards are stationed

Cyno: Guards.

Gaete: General Mahamatra!? T—To what do we owe the honor?

Cyno: Keep your voice down. This is a secret operation. I'm going to arrest a large criminal gang near this location. According to the Akademiya's Guide and Regulations on Secret Operations, I have the right to ask for the cooperation of Caravan Ribat.

Gaete: Ah, of course, of course! Mahamatra Cyno's order is the Akademiya's order. Just let us know what you need. But who exactly are you planning to arrest, and how many people are you expecting? Depending on the scale of this operation, we may need to report it to our superiors.

Cyno: They're a squad of Eremites whose number is comparable to Ayn Al-Ahmar in Port Ormos. They're involved in the theft and resale of supplies from the Akademiya.

Gaete: As many as Ayn Al-Ahmar!? This should definitely be classified as a joint operation.

Cyno: Then I suggest that you report this to your superiors as soon as possible, and treat it as a top-priority desert operation. I will need personnel.

Gaete: Got it! Please wait a moment. I will contact them immediately.

Aether: You look so commanding when you're working.

Cyno: Because this is work.

Aether: You're much more friendly to us.

Cyno: Because I trust you.

Paimon: Paimon can't believe you're still in the mood to chat. This whole thing has Paimon scared stiff! Aren't you even a little worried? What if these guards already know that you have betrayed the Akademiya, and are no longer their General Mahamatra... Even if that guard doesn't know, their superiors might, right?

Cyno: We discussed this, remember?

Flashback

Alhaitham: The Caravan Ribat operation is of great importance. But don't worry, the guards there shouldn't know that Cyno has stepped down.

Dehya: How can you be so sure?

Alhaitham: First, the other matra still don't know why Cyno has left, which proves that the Akademiya has been covering up the matter. Second, this is a crucial moment for the Akademiya's god creation plan. If something were to happen to the General Mahamatra, it's bound to attract a lot of unwanted attention. No matter how you look at it, they don't seem interested in sharing the news of Cyno's departure.

Cyno: ...A reasonable inference. I agree.

Alhaitham: Which brings us to our next issue: I'm sure some of you have been wondering if the prediction function of the Akasha will affect our operation.

Cyno: The Akasha is still in operation, so I must remain on high alert....Actually, considering the power of the Akasha, it's quite strange that it hasn't already tried to interfere with my actions.

Alhaitham: I've given that a lot of thought. For now, I don't think you'll need to worry. If you remember, when you first came to Aaru Village, all your actions and routes were predicted by the Akasha. It even gave that information to those who kidnapped the Village Keepers. But things like that never happened again after we met up with er.

Cyno: Hm... That's true. But why?

Alhaitham: Look at it from a different angle. Why do you think the Akasha will predict your actions?

Cyno: Because my personal data has been entered into the Akasha.

Alhaitham: That's true, but the key to this question is, how well can the Akasha make predictions about a person? Haven't you ever thought about it? Just how can it do this in the first place?

Cyno: ...Because the Akasha controls the entirety of Sumeru.

Alhaitham: The Akademiya firmly believes that all human actions can be explained through logic. By sorting and analyzing entered data, the Akasha can derive behavioral logic and predict the actions of those who fit an existing logic model. However, at the risk of sounding like an advocate for fallacies, can everyone truly be considered "logical" at all times? Emotions are a part of our behavioral logic. But can you guarantee that every experience of the same joy or pain would be equally intense? How can our feelings and opinions be predictable down to the letter in every single instance?

Cyno: ...

Alhaitham: Cyno, in the past, you've always worked alone. In the absence of another person who could sway you or your thoughts, the Akasha could produce predictions that were similar to your real-life behavioral principles. Decisive and principled, you were used to solving problems alone. That's why the Akasha could figure you out. But now, you've joined a team. And I believe the Akasha hasn't yet figured out the full composition of it.

Aether: "So much talking"

Alhaitham: Our thoughts and logic have intermingled and weaved themselves together to become a complicated, chaotic mess. Any one of us could potentially disagree with another. The Akasha lacks data on these interactions, and it's impossible for it to predict your actions in the future based on your decisions in the past. After all, there's probably a limit to just how much we can be modeled or controlled by data. So, in my opinion, you're probably safe for now.

Dehya: Makes sense to me, I agree. The Akasha is not alive, and I don't think we can be completely controlled by something without a mind of its own.

Cyno: ...Hm, is that so. I guess there are things that even the Akasha can not calculate, and people will not be forever trapped by the past.

End of Flashback

Paimon: Whew... Paimon's so glad that this is settled!

Cyno: Next time, pay attention during our meetings.

Paimon: Waah, will do...

Aether: I'm confident that we can do this.

Cyno: Just remember to stay vigilant.

Paimon: Ah, footsteps!

???: General Mahamatra! We were not expecting your presence here.

Luxembarbo: I'm the Security Officer of the Great Red Sand District. My name is Luxembarbo.

Cyno: Mm. This is my assistant, Aether. He will be working with me. The construct next to him is for his work.

Paimon: Beep! Construct! Beep!

Luxembarbo: What a great honor to meet you, Aether! Your golden hair is as bright as the sun! And... uh, is this the latest technology from the Akademiya...?

Aether: Nice to meet you, too.

Cyno: Have you made a decision regarding the matter I mentioned to your subordinate?

Luxembarbo: It seems to be a dire situation, so of course, you will have our full cooperation. To be perfectly honest, I've always longed to go on a mission with someone as well-known as yourself...

Cyno: There's no need for flattery.

Luxembarbo: Y—Yes, sir!

Cyno: Take your most elite platoon and follow me to the eastern side of the district. We will carry out the operation there.

Luxembarbo: Understood!

Cyno: *sigh* Map?

Luxembarbo: Hurry, bring the map!

A guard immediately brings over a map. Cyno circles the location of the operation on it

Cyno: In two days, we will engage Rahman's Eremites and capture all of them. Any questions about the time or location?

Luxembarbo: None at all, sir.

Cyno: Good. See you then.

Luxembarbo: Yes, sir!

Paimon: Maybe hanging around the General Mahamatra isn't so bad after all! Everyone's so respectful towards us.

Aether: Yeah, it does feel pretty good.

Cyno: This is all due to the absolute authority of the Akademiya. And now, we're going to strike back against that massive pillar of power....Get ready. We will move out in two days.

At midnight of the second day

Paimon: It's time for the operation. Let's go meet Cyno in the desert!

At the place

Paimon: Look! Over there! Our helpers have arrived already! Let's hurry over!

Cyno: Wait a moment.

Paimon: Waaah! It's you!

Cyno: You're my assistant, remember?

Aether: Yes, I remember.

Cyno: Being my assistant, you must stay with me. Now, let's head over there.

Gaete: It's General Mahamatra and his assistants!

Luxembarbo: We meet again!

Cyno: You're here early.

Luxembarbo: It's to show how important we think this operation is. Since this is a big case for the Akademiya, we are prepared to give it our best.

Cyno: I'm glad to hear your sense of resolve. Remember, we must capture them alive. They are our only leads for the case. If they die, we will be unable to continue the investigation.

Luxembarbo: Understood!

Gaete: Everyone! The Eremites are approaching from the west!

Luxembarbo: Make preparations and be ready for combat! Halt!

Rahman: Oh? What a warm welcome. What do you want? Judging from those shiny weapons in your hands, it seems like you're not interested in a deal?

Cyno: Rahman, the Akademiya has caught wind of your smuggling and illicit sales. If you value your life, I advise you to surrender.

Rahman: Who're you supposed to be? A matra from the Akademiya? Hah, I can't believe you came all this way just to catch us...

Cyno: I'm not here to talk.

Rahman: ... Nobody's given me this much time of day since I became a mercenary. Brothers! For that slight, let's wash our blades with their blood! Let's show them we Eremites are not to be messed with!

After defeating the Eremites

Cyno: It's over!

Rahman: Aghhh!

Gaete: We have subdued them! The operation is now over. All Eremite mercenaries and related personnel in the area have been arrested!

Rahman: Argh! You pitiful Dendro Archon dogs... You'll regret this!

Cyno: Hmph, I'm afraid you'll regret it first.

Rahman: King Deshret will curse you, and you will all...

Cyno: Silence! *punches Rahman*

Rahman: Oh! Uh...

Luxembarbo: Restrain them and take them back to Caravan Ribat! Count their numbers and send them to the Akademiya as instructed by the General Mahamatra!

Gaete: Yes, sir!

The guards escort a furious-looking Rahman and the others away...

Luxembarbo: Mahamatra Cyno, I will now take my leave. If you need further assistance, please come to Caravan Ribat and ask for me.

Cyno: Understood. You are dismissed.

Paimon: There they go...

Cyno: Let's talk elsewhere.

They find a safe place free of potential eavesdroppers and begin your conversation

Paimon: This part of the plan went really well!

Cyno: Yes. Things went perfectly.

Paimon: That's fantastic! And that punch you gave Rahman there sure looked convincing enough...

Cyno: Once we're done here, I'll return to Caravan Ribat and oversee the group's transport. I promise I'll get everyone into Sumeru City safely.

Aether: Thank you, Cyno.

Paimon: Yeah, you're the reason why everything went so well!

Cyno: It's not the time to celebrate yet. Hmm, I believe Dehya should already be waiting for you. Go join up with her. She will need you to introduce her to Tighnari.

Paimon: Speaking of which, is it really okay for us not to share the full plan with Tighnari? What if he feels miffed about it and refuses to work with us?

Aether: I'm a little worried about that, too.

Cyno: I have a very close relationship with Tighnari. Given how well we know each other, I believe my message alone should be enough to bring him to our side. He knows I won't make jokes about things like this. If we need help, Tighnari is the best option. Get ready for the next phase of the plan. Don't keep them waiting.

[undercovergamer]

✨Double Trouble✨

(Requested by an anonymous user)

⚠️This fic focuses mainly on tickling. Please do not read it if that upsets you.⚠️

Hi omg I’m so sorry for the wait 😭😭😭 I got writer’s block like nobody’s business but I’m back on track! … sort of! 💀

Anyway…

Alhaitham convinces Kaveh to “fight back” for once so he can get revenge on Itto. But his sneak attack fails, so the two resort to plan B. As a wise boy once said, teamwork is dreamwork (he’s not in the fic). Why is Itto in Sumeru? Because ✨lazy writing✨ of course :D

Word Count: 3415

“You can’t keep letting him win like that, Kaveh. Fight back for once.”

“I- I’m not letting him win! It is SO unfair! He’s so much stronger than I am, I barely have a chance!”

Kaveh was venting his frustrations to Alhaitham, who had just asked about his so-called “revenge plan.” Basically, Kaveh was embarrassed that Itto kept defeating him in tickle wars, and none of his counter attacks ever worked. Itto was too strong and Kaveh was too ticklish. Surprisingly, Alhaitham had offered to help him win this time, giving him some useful tips and tricks.

“It’s not about strength, it’s about skill.” he said.

“Huh?”

“You’re too predictable. Your intentions are written clearly all over you, so Itto obviously knows what to expect.”

“Oh come on! That’s not fair, I can’t control my mood! If I try that, I’ll look even more suspicious!”

“The trick is to catch him off-guard. If you can do that, he’ll be too confused to fight back.”

“It can’t be that easy…”

“It is when you’re not Captain Obvious.” Alhaitham couldn’t help but smirk a little bit at that jab.

“Ugh… you..!” The audacity!

“Aim for his armpits.”

“How am I supposed to do that?!”

“Well, if he’s already tickling you, he’ll be too distracted to defend himself.”

“But- I-”

“Take it from the expert. I’ve tested it myself. It works every time.”

“Tsk. Easy for you to say, mister ‘feeble scholar.’”

“Tch. Try a sneak attack. If it goes south, get his armpits. But do be careful not to overwhelm him too much.”

“Oh, alright, fine. I’ll try your idea.”

“Good luck. Close the door on your way out.”

Kaveh huffed and left Alhaitham’s room, closing the door as instructed. He didn’t need to search for long before he found Itto in the living room, with his back turned to Kaveh. He seemed distracted by something shiny, humming a little tune to himself.

This is the perfect time to strike, he thought, carefully sneaking up behind the oni. But, right as he was preparing to make his move, he felt something bonk into his leg.

Confused, Kaveh looked down and was surprised to see Ushi staring up at him. Kaveh quietly hushed him, but the little bull had other plans.

“Moo!” He alerted his master, blowing Kaveh’s cover with a smug expression.

“Hm?” Itto turned around to check on him, with a surprised smile on his face upon seeing Kaveh. “Hey, Kaveh! What are you doing?” Itto asked, tilting his head to the side in curiosity.

“I- uh- hi, Itto! I was just- um… I was just playing with Ushi! Yeah, haha!” He said, crouching down to the little bull to pet him.

“Really? Hmm.” Itto wasn’t buying it. That nervous attitude said it all.

“Moo.” The little bull was looking directly at Itto.

“Hush, Ushi.” Kaveh whispered.

“Moo!” Ushi was totally telling on him.

“Kaveh, you weren’t trying to scare me or something, right?” Itto asked, looking suspicious.

“What? Pfft, no! Of course not!”

“Really? Cus Ushi here says you were!” Oh, of course he did…

“Oh, d-did he now?” That little tattle-tail… no way out of this now.

“Yeeaah, he did, hahaha!” Itto laughed, much to Kaveh’s dismay.

“M-Maybe he’s lying..?” Kaveh had to think of a plan B, quick!

“Pfft, nah. He would never! Ushi is an honest bull. Ain’t that right, Beefcake?” Itto crouched down to pet Ushi. “Yeaa you never lie, do ya’? Aww, such a good boi! Yes you are! Yes you are!” He said playfully, giggling to himself while gently squishing the bull’s little face.

“Moo…” Ushi seemed content.

“Aha, s-sorry, heh… m-my prank went south, huh? G-Guess I’d better head back to my room then!” Kaveh said. Gosh, if only he didn’t sound so nervous…

“Aw, what? Leaving already? I thought you wanted to play with Ushi!”

Kaveh stood up. “O-Oh..! Yeah, heh.. well, uh, y-you seem to be doing that just fine, s-so I’ll-… I’ll just go.” Goodness, if being suspicious was a contest, then…

“Not so fast.”

“W-Whuh?” … Kaveh would win first prize.

“Heh, you sure seem nervous. You weren’t… planning something else, were you?” Itto said, now stood up as well. Oh dear. He’s onto him for sure.

“W-What? O-Of course not! It’s like what Ushi said, I w-was just-”

“Moooo…”

“Planning a sneak attack?” Ushi knew what he was up to, apparently.

“N-No! Of course not!”

“Then why are you so nervous? Heh, you worried about… consequences or somethin’?” Itto teased him with his signature Grin of Mischief™️.

“Uh- I- I think I h-heard Alhaitham calling m-my name! I- I should-” Kaveh backed away before he suddenly tried to make a run for it. But he wasn’t fast enough!

“Haha! Gotcha!” Itto quickly lunged forward and wrapped his arms around Kaveh’s middle, pulling him back to trap him in place.

“ACK- W-Wait no!! Lehet me go!!” Kaveh squirmed, already getting giggly. How could his plan have backfired already?

“Sorry, pal. There’s no escaping the tickle monster! Heheheh…” Itto replied, letting the anticipation set in as he wiggled his fingers, using one arm to prevent Kaveh’s escape.

“W-Wahahait!! I-Itto, plehehehease! Dohohon’t!” The architect was too flustered to remember what Alhaitham told him. Oh gosh, what should he do now?

“Hehehe, imma getcha!” Itto teased, playfully tickling Kaveh’s ribs and sides. “Tickle tickle tickle!”

“AAH NOHOHOHOHOHO!! EEHEHEhehehahahahahaha!!” Kaveh squealed and burst into laughter, squirming a lot while trying to push Itto’s arms off of himself.

“What’s wrong? Can’t handle a little tickle?” Itto teased, switching between rapid squeezing and playful skittering for the funny, driving Kaveh up the wall.

“GWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!! NAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!”

“Tickle tickle~”

“Lehehet mehehe gohohohoho!!”

“Nuh uh~”

“AAAHAHA NAHAHAT THEHEHEHERE!!”

His laughter eventually got so loud it caught Alhaitham’s attention. He wasn’t surprised that Kaveh’s plan had failed once again, but he decided to go help him for a change. By the time he’d reached the living room, the poor architect had been tickled to the floor, still at the mercy of the mighty tickle monster.

“Fight back, Kaveh! Come on.” Alhaitham called out, trying to make sure Kaveh heard him.

“AHAAHAhahahahahahaha!! Ihihihi cahahahahan’t!!” Kaveh squealed, wiggling his legs and trying to grab Itto’s wrists.

“Hehehe, he’s so ticklish! Kitchy kitchy kitchy koo~!” Itto teased, playfully tickling his waist, making him arch his back and shriek.

“EEEK!! NAHAHAT THEHEHEHERE!! HEHEHEHELP!!” poor Kaveh screeched, laughing hysterically.

Alhaitham sighed and put his hand in his face for a moment, shaking his head before initiating a plan of his own instead. “Hey, Itto! Why don’t you pick on someone your own size?” he said, creating a distraction by challenging the oni.

“Ohoho, you wanna go too, huh?” Itto replied, stepping up to face the scribe, leaving the giggling architect on the floor with Ushi nuzzling his face.

“Bring it on!”

The plan sprung into action right when Itto attempted a playful pounce. Alhaitham was fully prepared and easily spun him around and sort of hooked his arms under Itto’s to keep him in place.

“H-Hey! Lemme go!” The oni’s struggles weren’t quite enough to break free, mainly because of the situation’s playful nature.

“No.” Alhaitham replied bluntly, checking to see if Kaveh was still on the floor. He was, but he’d sat up this time, petting Ushi.

“Let go! Cheater!” Itto protested, trying to pull himself away, but the scribe was too stubborn to fall to it.

“No. Kaveh? Are y-” Alhaitham couldn’t finish his sentence because Itto suddenly started struggling more than before, making another attempt at breaking free. “No. Hey! Stay. Still!”

“Nuh uh! Pfft- unhand me!” Itto started giggling because he thought their little battle was funny. Alhaitham was almost struggling to hold the man in place.

“Haitham, did you say something?” Kaveh asked, raising an eyebrow. He’d stood up by now after Ushi’s snuggle attack ended.

Itto was getting tired from struggling, so he decided to take a break to catch his breath, giving Alhaitham enough room to talk. “So. Kaveh, about your revenge plan…”

“Huh..? Oh! You caught him! Heh, how convenient…” he replied with a devious grin, cracking his fingers in preparation. Finally, he could get his long awaited vengance!

“W-Wait! Wait! C-C’mon, guys! Th-This isn’t fair!” The oni struggled to move when the scribe’s hold suddenly tightened, rendering him defenseless.

“Heheheh, you’re not exactly fair either! Just hold still~” Kaveh teased, wiggling his fingers with a playful look on his face.

“W-Wahahahait!! I-It’s two on ohohone!! Th-That’s not fahahair!!” Itto squirmed to no avail, already laughing from the anticipation.

“Pfft, I’m allowed to get some extra help. You’re like twice as strong as me, you know.”

“As I, Kaveh.” Alhaitham corrected.

“Oh shut up.” Kaveh rolled his eyes and started tickling Itto’s sides. “Are you ticklish here?” he asked.

“Ack-! Pfft- n-nohoho..!” Itto tried to contain his laughter to deter his actions.

“Really? How about… here?” Kaveh poked and tickled his abs and tum instead, even giving his belly button a poke, which made him jolt.

“EEP! Hahahahahahahahahaha!!” It worked like a charm, making him laugh and squirm against Alhaitham’s grip.

“Lying is wrong, you know. Tsk tsk tsk.” Alhaitham said, smirking a little while keeping the giggling oni in place.

“Shuhuhut ihihit!! Aahahahahaha!! NohoHOHOHOHO!!” Uh-oh…

“What about your ribs?” Kaveh poked and scribbled all over Itto’s ribs this time, which increased his squirms and laughter quite a lot.

“NAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!! Dohohohohon’t!!” he squealed, squirmimg more and nearly making Alhaitham lose balance.

“Tickle tickle~” Finally, he could get some proper revenge, he thought, getting greedy and digging into Itto’s ribcage. However, Itto’s wild laughter and struggles eventually caused Alhaitham to lose his grip, leading to a very short chase as the oni tripped himself and got pushed onto one of the couches.

“Oof-!” he didn’t have enough time to register where he ended up due to the adrenaline rush.

“You’re not going anywhere.” Alhaitham said, quickly tickling Itto’s sides and ribs so he wouldn’t try to stand up again.

“AAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!! WAHAHAHAHAIT!!” Itto squealed, laughing out loud and playfully kicking his legs against the couch. The scribe truly showed no mercy!

“Don’t let him escape!” Kaveh called out, going behind the couch and reaching over it to tickle Itto’s tum. Not the most convenient angle, but it made him throw his head back and screech with wild laughter. His kicking and stimming increased as well while he squirmed. “HYAAAHAHAHAHAHAHAA!!”

“This should at least pause his mischief for a while!” Alhaitham said, trying to speak louder so Kaveh would hear him. Itto was certainly loud…

“Yeah! We should probably stop for a sec so we don’t kill him though!” Kaveh replied, giggling at how ticklish this man was.

The scribe agreed with that suggestion, and the two briefly stopped their attacks to let Itto catch his breath. He’d barely had room to breathe after his failed escape from earlier.

“Are you alright?” Alhaitham asked, chuckling to himself. It’s been quite a while since he felt this playful.

“Ahahehehe… huff… y-you guys.. are… hehe..! ..soho mean...!” Itto giggled, panting and trying to cover his ticklish spots, but alas he didn’t have enough arms for that. Darn it…

“This is revenge for you tickling me all the time!” Kaveh said, being sassy for the funnies.

“All the time?” Alhaitham questioned, raising an eyebrow.

“W-Well, not literally all the time, but it’s basically a daily occurrance at this point!”

“Hm, I doubt that. I would’ve known otherwise.”

“Oh yeah? How?” Ugh, Alhaitham and his logic…

“You’re incredibly loud whenever you get tickled, you know.”

“Oh? I thought your headphones would block his squeals.” Itto chimed in, having sat up and caught his breath to join the conversation. Kaveh glared at him.

“No. Surprisingly, they’re not quite soundproof enough to block all noise.” Alhaitham replied, smirking slightly at Kaveh who looked very embarrassed.

“Hey! I-I’m not THAT loud, right?!” He couldn’t believe his ears!

“You are.” The other two replied at the same time, making Itto laugh.

“S-Stop laughing! It’s not funny!” Kaveh said angrily, blushing with embarrassment at this realization. He couldn’t believe it’d taken him this long to know!

“Hehehe! It’s true though!”

“Oh, shut up! I’ll show you!”

“Hehe wahahait!! AAH!! I’M SOHOHORREHEHEHEHEE!!” Itto suddenly burst into laughter again as Kaveh got angry and started tickling mercilessly right below his ribs.

“See? You caught him off-guard, and now you’re winning for once. I must say, I’m impressed. You even got a weak spot without my help.” Alhaitham said over Itto’s laughter, preventing Itto from rolling off the couch.

“Not now, Haitham. You’re distracting me.” Kaveh replied, promptly getting his wrists grabbed and pushed away by the giggling oni. “Agh- hey! Let go!”

“Ahahehehe! G-Gehet awahahay!” Itto said, giggling quite a lot. Kaveh struggled to pull his hands free due to Itto’s tight grip.

“Ugh… a little help?” he asked in mild frustration, looking over at Alhaitham.

“Hmm… okay.”

Itto felt more and more nervous hearing those two plan their next attack. But then, he suddenly remembered…

“Uh- um-! Ushi!! Help me!!” Itto tried calling for help, hoping his companion was nearby to rescue him.

“It’s too late for that now, I’m afraid.” Alhaitham said, switching his headphones on with a menacing look. His sudden grin sent shivers down Itto’s spine.

“W-Wait!! Dohohon’t!!” Itto’s pleas fell on deaf ears as Alhaitham started rapidly poking at his ribs and abs to make him let go of Kaveh’s wrists. It worked just as planned, making him squirmy and distracted enough for Kaveh to pull away.

“Thank you! Now, where was I…” Kaveh teased, before both humans unleashed yet another tickle attack upon the oni.

“BWAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA!!”

Alhaitham was rapidly squeezing his sides while Kaveh scribbled his abs, making the oni throw his head back and laugh hysterically. His two arms were no match against four tickling hands, so he had no choice but to kick and squeal. Kaveh almost wished he had soundproof headphones too…

“Not so fun when you’re on the receiving end, huh?” He said, but he started feeling a twinge of guilt seeing how merciless his roommate was being. Surely Itto didn’t deserve a death sentence…?

“STAHAHAHAHAHAHAP!! STAAHAHAHAHAHAHA-!! I’M SOHOHORREEHEHEHEHEE!!” Itto squealed, laughing his ass off and trying his hardest to push Alhaitham away.

Kaveh was about to say something else, but suddenly felt himself lose balance as something rammed into his leg. “What the-?!” He stopped tickling to catch himself on the couch. He looked down at his feet, only to find Ushi tryina fight.

“Mooo!” Awe, the little bull was trying to rescue his master!

“Hey, what are you doing?” Kaveh crouched down to his level, gently patting his head to calm him while his roommate continued to wreck Itto, whose boisterous laughter continued to fill the room, now sounding less frantic than before.

“Moo!” Ushi seemed angry, pushing quite hard one more time, which made the architect fall on his butt.

“Ow! Hey, be careful…” He could tell all the commotion had made the little bull feel stressed.

Then, Itto’s laughter suddenly died down and Alhaitham’s voice was heard from above. “Kaveh? What are you doing on the floor?” he asked.

“Um, well… I think Ushi wants us to stop now.” Kaveh replied, looking at the angry little bull.

“Really..?” Ushi glared up at him before walking past Kaveh to get around the couch, making his way over to Itto, who was now panting for survival.

“Hm. Well in that case, I suppose we’d better listen, ‘lest we face Ushi’s wrath.” Alhaitham said, reaching down to help Kaveh stand up.

“Yeah. You’re right.” he said, accepting the help and brushing himself off. “My revenge was gotten anyway, I guess.”

“Man… I haven’t laughed that hard in ages..! Haha…” Itto sat up, still giggling a bit from the leftover tingles. “You guys are mean…” he added, failing to glare properly with that smile on his face.

“Moo!” Ushi stared at him with big eyes, sort of trying to get up to his level. But alas, his legs were too short to let him jump.

“Haha, I’m alright, Beefcake! Don’t you worry, lil’ guy.” Itto said to him, lifting the little bull onto his lap. “Aww, did you come to rescue me? Such a good boi! Yes you are~!” he said, pampering his beloved companion.

“Well, you certainly recovered quickly. I’ll go fetch some water for you.” Alhaitham said, baffled at how Itto barely seemed affected all of a sudden.

“Ahah.. I am exhausted…” Itto said, chuckling as he felt Ushi nuzzle him. He was quite comfortable in his master’s lap, after all.

“Aw, he’s so cute! Bet you’re glad your little knight came to your rescue, huh?” Kaveh teased, sitting down next to Itto and gently petting the little bull.

“Hahahaha! Yeah, I nearly thought I’d pass out!” Itto replied jokingly. “You my little hero~? Aww…” he said, giving Ushi some gentle chin scratches.

“Moo…” He seemed very happy now.

“Tch, bet that taught you a lesson. Now you know what revenge feels like! I’d think twice if I were you.” Kaveh said with a confident look.

“Pfft, at least I don’t need backup to carry it out!” Itto replied, sticking his tongue out in a playful manner.

Tch, how immature, Kaveh thought. “What?? You’re so much stronger than I am! It’s an unfair match-up! AND you had Ushi helping you!” he argued.

“Nah, Ushi was just playing. Besides, you need more exercise!” Itto teased.

How dare he?! “A-And you need LESS exercise!” Kaveh fired back “angrily.”

“Nuh-uh!”

“Yuh-huh!”

“Nuh-uh!!”

“Yuh-huh!!”

Their playful bickering ended with laughter as they couldn’t take themselves nor each other seriously anymore.

“What are you two yapping about..?” Alhaitham came back with a glass of water, giving it to Itto.

“Pfft- nothing, don’t worry about it…” Kaveh replied, chuckling to himself.

“Heheh..! Yeah… thanks!” Itto said, accepting the glass and drinking from it.

“You’re welcome. Are you alright?” Alhaitham gave him a headpat for the funny.

“Yup! Heh, I didn’t expect you guys to just murder me like that. Awfully rude, by the way. How dare you.” He said jokingly, sipping his water.

“Ha! You and your mischief had it coming.” Kaveh teased, ruffling his hair.

“Hahaha! Hey, c’mon! Just you wait…” Itto threatened playfully, fixing his hair.

“Well, in any case, it’s a good thing you had fun. I was almost worried about you for a moment there.” Alhaitham said.

“Almost..? You showed no mercy.” Kaveh questioned, crossing his arms.

“… I did let him live though.” Alhaitham replied with a shrug. Kaveh scoffed and rolled his eyes.

“Heh! It’ll take a lot more than that to bring ME down!” Itto boasted proudly, drinking the water like a champ.

“Uh-huh.” Alhaitham raised an eyebrow.

“Oh, please…” Kaveh rolled his eyes again.

Itto didn’t seem to care, handing the empty glass back to the scribe, who went to put it away. “What, don’t believe me?” he asked, gently helping Ushi back down to the floor since he had things to do suddenly.

“Not at all, actually.” Kaveh said, looking amused.

“Pfft, it’s not like I surrendered! You just gave up, I call that a win!” Itto argued, grinning confidently.

“You did though!” Kaveh protested.

“Nah-uh! You did!”

However, his grin quickly turned nervous when Alhaitham came closer all of a sudden.

“Is someone asking for a round two?” He asked menacingly. Oh dear…

“W-Whuh… I- I never said-”

“Ooh! Why that sounds delightful!” Kaveh said playfully, standing up next to Alhaitham and smiling at the nervous look on Itto’s face.

“Wait- g-guys, c’mon! Th-This isn’t-…!” He couldn’t finish his sentence before he got too nervous.

“Oh don’t worry, this’ll be quick.” Alhaitham said, before he swiftly pushed Itto back onto the couch, wrestling him to the same spot as before. Itto struggled playfully but was eventually pinned down and unable to move.

“Get him, Kaveh!”

“Ah! R-Right!”

“NohohohOHOHOHO!!”

And so began yet another tickle-attack. But this time, Alhaitham decided to leave while he let Kaveh have the fun. His ears were getting overstimulated by Itto’s loud laughter, so he and Ushi went elsewhere, away from the chaos. He kept the music in his headphones relatively low so he could keep better track of the other two.

At some point, a high pitched squeal was heard, which meant Kaveh had the tables turned on him.

Hmph. They’re so noisy, Alhaitham thought to himself, gladly hanging out with Ushi for the time being.

Surely that tickle war would end soon… right?

[lo-cinno]

Love the man so much you’re imitating him now huh? ‘Feeble scholar’ ‘Feeble writer’ okay there

Can I even confidently say idl Alhaitham atp

[dustofthedailylife]

Screaming because I was just sitting on discord with a couple of friends and my boyfriend, and somehow they started talking about what would be if it were medieval times and there were no video games...

And my boyfriend deadass just dropped "I would probably just become a scholar out of boredom" and I was trying so hard not to laugh.

I keep saying that he reminds me so much of Alhaitham and this was just the cherry on top for me 😂

[enden-k]

i drew more kavetham kissing in the past weeks than i have drawn zhongchi kissing in the past 2 years 💀

[the-curious-cat24]

I'm looking respectfully 😎😎

[nobully]

Wang Yi watches the entire process and looks unsurprised when Zhilan blanches at the taste.

'Of course it's bitter.'

'You're too sweet for this stuff...um...'

He fumbles around the table until his hand bumps into a saucer of mints, which he grabs a handful of and thrusts into Zhilan's face.

'Here, you... These'll make it better.'

❝ It looks deceptively like water... ❞ Zhilan swirls the bottle a little at the wrist, marveling how clear it is. If recollection serves him well, Snezhnaya was known for its strong ( and crystal clear ) liquor, said to be potent enough to incapacitate the average foreigner. He's never gotten the chance to try it, thus he has hardly any frame of reference for what this will taste like. Nevertheless, he pours some over the ice in his glass in a rhythmic glug, glug, glug. ❝ Eh heh... No, I'm afraid I'm entirely unfamiliar... Though I am reminded of something similar from a nearby nation in my own world, not that I've ever tried it. ❞ Well, now's his chance to do exactly that. The scholar brings the rim to his lips, downing the alcohol in an efficiently smooth motion— Or what would be smooth, were it not for the fierce grimace it wrings out of Zhilan's features. He barely suppresses a cough.

❝ Oh my word, that is strong. It tastes— ❞ He samples it a second time. Blegh. ❝ Really bitter...! ❞

[meili-sheep]

Kaveh: Awww..... You're so soft and squishy and cute. What's your name, little buddy? **Continues to poke Arabalika's squishy cheeks**

Arabalika: **vein popping**

An hour later.....

Alhaitham: Hm? Ah! Kaveh! What happened to you?!!

Kaveh, with a black eye: Don't ask. And please remember that not all adorable things are harmless....

Alhaitham: Huh?

Meanwhile.....

Arabalika: My apologies, Lord Kusanali. That blonde and annoying Nara won't stop poking at me.

Nahida: Sheesh, Arabalika. You shouldn't hit Nara Kaveh like that so hard. As punishment, you'll be doing some chores/work for Nara Alhaitham.

Honestly, I feel Arabalika would like Al Haitham. Mostly because he's totally let Arabalika protect the "feeble scholar."

In general, I do think for such a serious Nara, the Aranara would like Al Haitham just for how inquisitive he is and how he sees patterns in the world. He might not be one for dreams, but he has his sort of art. And I think the Aranara appreciate different kinds of views like his that go against the grain.

And though he doesn't really like to think of himself like this he really his a firm guardian. I feel the aranara would compare him to like a tree trunk a lot.

[hy2ka]

"im merely a feeble scholar" huh ?!

[its-moonstar]

Uh-huh, feeble scholar, riiiight…

Just a feeble scholar

[lesbianjunimo]

I'm here! And! Again! PLAY WTNC!!! And now, ummm maybe 68 “Are you always an ass, or am I just special?”, 85 “God, I could kiss you right now. Wait- uh…” and 100 “Kiss me, asshole.”. SE, Axel x Scholar! We all need some tsundere fluff in our lives aaaa <3

HI, IT’S SUCH AN HONOR FOR YOU TO BE MY FIRST PROMPT REQUEST AHHH *ahem* anyway this was really fun! I hope to get more of these because, even though it took some brainstorming, I like to end result. It’s not too long, but this was almost a trial run for to see if I could get my mojo back. (Aka, stuff will most likely be lengthier the more I do this sort of thing.) Again, thank for inspiring me @badgalasuna! <3

Also, here is a link to the prompts for those curious!

“Are you always an ass, or am I just special?” Scholar looked up from their math textbook at the sound of precisely the boy they’d been daydreaming about. Math and Axel just didn’t seem to mix well in their brain.

Casting a quick glance in the direction of his voice, they saw Tadashi and Axel having another glaring match. Nothing new there, they supposed. Trying not to be nosy, they returned their focus to their book. Their attempts to tune out the noise were futile.

“Special? No, though I know you like to think you are. Just because some girls on Instagram worship the ground you walk on doesn’t mean you get to stomp around here like the rules don’t apply to you. They do. And I don’t appreciate having to chase you down to remind you of that.”

Scholar sucked in a breath. Oof, this was getting juicy. But they did actually want to get their math homework done. Ms. Rodriguez would probably kill them, otherwise…

“What a coincidence!” Axel pulled his hands from his pockets with fake enthusiasm. “I don’t appreciate your constant reminders either! Finally, something we have in common!”

With a frustrated sigh, Scholar stood. The sound of the wooden chair scraping against the tile floor caused both boys to look over.

“Look,” they walked over, placing themself next to Axel. “I know fighting is all you guys ever want to do with each other, but can we cool it? Just for today?” They gestured towards the table they’d been (attempting) working at. “Or take it somewhere else. I really have to focus right now, guys.”

“I really have to focus, too, but I can’t when all I hear about is this idiot-“

“Hey, I can’t even hear myself think between all your nagging-“

“ENOUGH!” Scholar stamped their foot on the ground, calling the attention of not just the bickering boys, but also everyone else in the cafeteria. (“Wait, didn’t they just break up a fight between them last week?” “Yeah, I think so.”)

“Both of you have valid reasons for being angry. Hell, both of you can be assholes sometimes! But yelling at each other like this won’t solve anything.” The boys didn’t say anything more, but did not refrain from casting dirty looks back and forth. Sighing, Scholar quickly grabbed their textbook, tossing it in their bag. Slinging said bag over their shoulder, they reached out and gently rested a hand on Axel’s arm.

“Come on,” they said softly. “Let’s go.” With a feeble wave to Tadashi, Scholar took Axel’s hand and pulled him out of the cafeteria.

It wasn’t until they reached Hallway 3 that Axel asked a question.

“Did you just call me an asshole?”

Turning, Scholar let go of Axel’s hand.

“I’m sorry about that. I just hate seeing you guys fight, you know? I want you both happy, and nothing good will come out of this sort of thing. You know?” Silence.

“Um, Axel? Did you hear me?” Little did they know, he heard them alright. And all he could think was that damn, they really were Arlington’s Sweetheart, huh? Well, that and them standing up to Tadashi like that was hot as hell but that was neither here nor there.

“God, I could kiss you right now.” He hadn’t realized he’d spoken those words aloud until he saw Scholar’s eyes widen to the size of balloons. “Wait, uh-…” He tried to think of a way to pass that off, but nothing came. I mean, you can’t exactly say ‘just kidding!’ when it comes to that sort of thing.

But soon, Scholar’s wide eyes were joined by a smile. A big, beautiful one that took Axel’s breath away. And then a wink.

“Well then, kiss me, asshole.” 

Axel was all too happy to oblige.

[kellbellsparkles]

Ratchet and Clank: Rift Apart inspired me to get my fingers itching to get right back into writing fan fiction again. ^^

For this one, I'm playing around with the idea of possible existence of time portals left behind by the Great Clock debacle and were inflamed by the Dimenstionator exploding, causing them to grow bigger and have objects and people coming and going from the future and past, Ratchet's mother included from the moment just before her untimely death

"Aaaaaand all done!"

Edith Dipper, a fairly new mother, fastened her little one's diaper with a gleaming glow radiating from her face.

"There we are!" she cooed. "That's a fresh new fuzz muffin!" She nuzzled her son's plump fuzzy tum with her nose. "Are you such a fuzzy fuzzy muffin, Warren?"

The baby lombax cackled and grabbed his mother's face with his tiny hands. Edith lifted her head and let him grasp her fingers.

"I can't believe you're six months old today," she said. "I'm not ready for you to get big." She stood herself up up. "Alright. Let's get that new outfit on that your daddy got you."

Edith picked up an yellow onesie and dangled it in the air.

"That Kaden sure has a sense of humor," she said. "You'll practically be naked in this."

Warren lifted his arms after the oneself. Edith giggled in awe at the cute spectacle. It was the perfect life: a doting husband, baby boy, a stable home and income, and lovely neighborhood. She slipped Warren into the humorous onesie. She transferred him from the changing table to his crib.

"Mommy's going to brew coffee, okay, pumpkin peet? I'll be right back."

She kissed him on the tip of his head then entered the kitchen. As she approached the coffee pot, her ears perked in the direction of the window. The neighborhood was being louder than usual. She walked over and pulled the curtain back. What she saw she thought could only happen on the big screen.

The neighbors were running in terror; fish piloting robot suits were hunting and shooting them down. Houses and lawns were on fire. At the helm of it all was a scraggly small creature piloting a palanquin like machine.

"Percival?" She murmured.

Suddenly, the palanquin fired a laser cutting the kitchen in half. The roof collapsed above her. The tile and rubble left her helpless on her stomach.

"Ahhh!" She cried. The baby began to cry having been frightened by the commotion.

As much as the stone pressed against her back, the pain couldn't counter the maternal instinct coursing through Edith's body.

"Warren!" she shouted. "Mommy's coming! Don't worry!"

She pushed up from the palms of her hands. However, her prison wouldn't budge. As she made feeble attempts to free herself, the palanquin's steps drew closer and closer. Edith lifted her head to the right as high as she could. There was Percival Tachyon, a fledgling scholar brought up by the lombaxes themselves.

"You must be Edith," he said with a kooky grin. "It's a pleasure to meet you."

"Percival," Edith gasped. "You can't really mean to do this. Alister believed in you."

"I know," Tachyon said. "Funny, right? You lombaxes should've paraded yourselves as legendary comedians."

"But it's true!" Edith pleaded. "It's not too late to stop this! You can still lead a good life and be loved!"

"Oh, but I already am. Becoming emperor of the universe automatically makes me loved. Speaking of…."

He dabbed his finger over a button, making the palanquin lift a leg above Edith's head.

"I'm going to be practicing my autograph and your precious husband will be the first recipient."

He pressed the button again. The leg began to plunge towards penetrating Edith's skull. All she could do was watch and feel her eyes gape at the inching doom. However, before it could touch her, a portal opened underneath her. The second she fell through, it closed back up at the same time the leg crashed through the floor.

"Huh??" Tachyon hopped off the palaquin and scuttled to the scene.

"Wha-- I don't understand," he said in a mix of astonishment and frustration. "Where did she go?" He tried to lift the rubble himself to investigate.

"Hnnnnng!" He grunted. "Nyyyyyyyyng!" He tried again, but with his back.

"Come on, you supposed anatomically useful body component! This is what we trained for!!" As he slipped and slid on his feet to try to lift, one of his minions arrived with a report.

"Sir?"

"What is it??" Tachyon bawked. "Can't you see I'm in the middle of very important self fulfilling work??"

"Duly noted, sir," they said. "But I need to inform you that Kaden is fast approaching and will arrive in under five minutes."

"BLAST!!"

Tachyon stopped and stomped.

"I can't just leave the scene without a body to show for it! Is there any spaghetti and sauce in the fridge?"

"Sir, that is the oldest recorded prank."

"Just check! And go silence the kid while you're at it!"

The minion went to raid the fridge while two others headed towards Warren. By chance, there was indeed what Tachyon was looking for.

"Yes!" Tachyon cheered. "Excellent! Give it here!" He snatched them from his servant's metal claws. He ripped the lid off the sauce jar and poured the contents into the hole in the floor. He lathered the rest on the palanquin's leg.

"Yeeeeeees," he shuddered in ecstacy. "Sweet, delicious bloodshed." He then spread the cooked spaghetti to make it looked like dragged and dismembered brain. He smiled as the baby's cries came to a close.

"Minus the lacking of time to practice my signature, all has gone exactly as I wanted."

As he boarded the palaquin once more, the remaining minions emerged with Warren, alive and sucking on a bike. Tachyon gawked at them, incredibly flabbergasted.

"Um, excuse me," he said. "Why is the little waste pile still alive?"

"We thought it would be a waste to just kill him," one said.

"You could raise him to be your right hand man," the other suggested.

"Do I look like the kind of evil emperor that would chance taking in a child of a race I destroyed and them figuring it out and turning on me later??" Tachyon wailed. "Just drop him!!"

But before the minions could take any action, Kaden swooped in and smashed their helmets open with his omniwrench. He grabbed his son and clutched him tightly to his chest. Tachyon rolled his eyes as the fish bodies writhed and gasped on the floor.

"This is what happens when you act noble," he said. He turned his palanquin towards Kaden.

"By the way," he said. "I said hi and bye to your wife. She said the same. So… hi and bye to you, too."

He rode away, laughing at his triumphant exit remark. Kaden spotted the saucy mess he left behind. He dropped his omniwrench.

"No," he choked. "Edie…." His feet stood at the edge of the pool of red. He fell to his knees. "Edie, please…. This can't be happening." A lump rose in his throat as he started to cry. He held his son closer to him, desperate not to scare him, but he couldn't contain his sorrow of what he lost. In the background, the minion that helped with the crime scene, also broken and body-less, stared in complete bewilderment.

"I can't believe that worked," he mouthed as he finished his final breath.