#a curly hair routine would’ve saved him

[handfetis]

Yoko and her wife

[theostrophywife]

my collar.

pairing: theodore nott x reader.

song inspiration: she's my collar by gorillaz (feat. kali uchis)

author's note: sometimes theo just needs to be put in his place and i'm more than happy to deliver that 😏

It was heinous.

It was criminal. 

It was downright torturous.

Your boyfriend leaned over, his lips grazing your earlobe as he lowered his voice to a husky, seductive tone. “Are you okay, principessa? You seem a little distracted.” 

Crimson colored your cheeks as you straightened against the wingback chair, clearing your throat while you looked around the table, which was currently occupied by your closest friends. All of which were none the wiser to the effect Theo had on you tonight. 

“I’m fine,” you squeaked out. 

“Really?” Theo drawled, sliding his hand down your thigh and squeezing firmly. “Because you haven’t stopped shaking your leg since dinner started. A shame. Malfoy flew in a private chef from France. He really wants to impress his girl. I know what that’s like.” 

You inhaled sharply as his hand trailed higher, his rough and calloused fingers slipping underneath the slit of your dress. “Teddy, please…” 

“Begging already, dolcezza? I thought we agreed to save that for the bedroom.” 

The teasing and taunting, the push and pull, the cat and mouse routine between you and Theo had been constant all night. Punishment for turning down his proposal for a quickie before dinner. It was hard enough to say no to Theo on a normal day, but declining your boyfriend’s proposition of hot, frantic sex while he looked absolutely sinful in a custom three piece suit was nearly impossible. Not to mention painful. 

Still, if you’d taken him up on the offer, you most likely would’ve never made it to dinner. You couldn’t do that to Draco. He needed emotional support. Tonight was his first time integrating Hermione into your friend group and you promised that you’d do everything in your power to make her feel welcome. 

With a sigh, you pried Theo’s fingers off of your thigh. “Behave, Theodore.” Your boyfriend pouted like a petulant child. “Draco needs us.” 

You nodded towards the blonde who looked equally panicked and appalled while Blaise recounted embarrassing stories to Hermione. The golden girl seemed amused by the antics, but Malfoy was anything but. 

“Save him before he ruptures a blood vessel,” you murmured to your boyfriend. For good measure, you batted your lashes up at him and gave him a look that he couldn’t refuse. “Please, baby.” 

Theo sighed, mumbling in Italian under his breath. “Gentlemen. Care for a cigar?” 

Thankfully, Zabini’s plan to embarrass the hell out of Draco was momentarily forgotten. Crisis averted. Draco shot you a grateful look, knowing that you were most likely behind the save. Salazar knows that Theo would’ve delighted in the effort of sullying his oldest friend’s reputation if he hadn’t been distracted. 

The boys rose from their chairs, excusing themselves from the room. Theo lingered beside you, dipping his head to place a kiss right underneath your jaw. He sucked lightly on the sweet spot and smirked as you melted against him. The bastard was playing dirty. 

“You owe me for that, cara mia.” 

Desire bloomed in your core, flooding heat through your body as you peered at your boyfriend. You couldn’t help but admire him in his suit. The midnight blue fabric draped over his tall and lean figure like your own personal gift and the deep stormy color brought out his eyes. You flushed as he turned, training his intense gaze on you like he was savoring the sight. With a cheeky grin, Theo shot you a wink before slipping out the door. 

Beside you, Pansy tutted in disapproval. “Get a hold of yourself, Y/N.” 

You flushed as Hermione bit back a grin. The curly haired witch patted your hand. “You have my sympathy. When I first saw Draco in a suit, I nearly spilled wine all over myself.” 

“See, Pans. I’m not the only one,” you murmured in self-defense. “I can’t help it.” 

Pansy shook her head, her glossy bob grazing her chin. “You can and you will. Don’t let Nott turn you into a simpering mess. The Y/N I know would bring a man to his knees.” 

Hermione nodded in agreement. “I think Pansy’s right. You should show Theo who’s really in control.” 

You smirked as an idea started forming in your head. “You’re more devious than you look, aren’t you, Granger?” Hermione flashed you an innocent smile, which made you laugh. Draco had his work cut out for him. You liked her all the more for it. “You two have a point. Maybe I’ll give my boyfriend a taste of his own medicine tonight.” 

Once your mind was made up, the three of you moved on to more important topics. You were fascinated to hear about Hermione’s work on curing lycanthropy while she was equally curious about the proposed laws that you were in the process of bringing before the Wizengamot. The bill was a passion project of yours because it would give rights and protections to muggle born wizards and witches that had never been afforded to them before. You were ready to fight tooth and nail to see it come to fruition. 

Needless to say, you were a little too passionate about it. The last time Rita Skeeter interviewed you under the guise of bringing light to the cause, you nearly strangled the sneaky little witch for taking more interest in your romantic relationship than the work you were trying to achieve. You were glad that Pansy worked her high society charm and publicity experience to diffuse the situation. 

In the end, she bribed and threatened the proper people to have the story killed. It was a blessing in disguise since you ended up giving exclusive rights to the Quibbler, which was now spearheaded by your old classmate Luna. She truly did the story justice. As a bonus, her tenacity seemed to have caught the attention of the pickiest witch you knew. No matter how many times Pansy denied it, you knew your friend was smitten. 

“Babe, you should take your own advice and just ask Luna out already.” 

Your friend nearly choked on her wine. Hermione watched the interaction with an amused expression. Her lips curled into a mischievous smile as she turned over to Pansy. “I happen to know that you’re just her type.” 

Never in your life had you seen Pansy Parkinson blush that furiously. She caught herself, holding her head high in that aristocratic way of hers. “Of course I’m her type,” your friend declared in a haughty tone. “I’m everyone’s type.” 

You and Hermione looked at each other before bursting into a fit of giggles. Pansy cracked a smile and laughed along. The three of you were in full hysterics by the time the boys came back. 

Theo slipped back into his seat, squeezing your shoulder gently. “What’s so funny, dolcezza?” 

“Girl talk,” Hermione answered on your behalf. “It’s not for you boys to hear.” 

You nodded in between giggles. “What Granger said.”

Draco groaned. “Bloody hell, they’re unionizing.” 

Your boyfriend raised a brow. He placed his hand back on your thigh, resuming the torturous contact from earlier in the night. “Keeping secrets from me now, Y/N?” 

You plastered a saccharine sweet smile on your face. Theo observed curiously as you peeled his fingers from your leg before firmly holding his hand. “I thought you liked a little mystery, baby.” 

Theo swallowed thickly as you leaned in to whisper in his ear. He held his breath while you pressed your palm against his chest, twirling his tie between red painted fingernails. You lowered your voice into a dark, seductive tone. “Have I told you how good you look tonight? I could just eat you up.” 

Lust blown eyes stared back at you, those familiar piercing blue irises completely swallowed by darkness. Theo shifted in his seat as his gaze dropped down to your mouth. You flashed him an innocent smile before releasing his tie and returning to the conversation happening around you. You could feel that burning gaze on you as you laughed and talked with Pansy and Mattheo. 

For the rest of the dinner, you kept up the nonchalant act. You mustered every ounce of self-control within you and rebuffed all of Theo’s advances. Every time he leaned in for a kiss, you gave him your cheek instead. When the group moved to the sitting room, you walked by his side instead of leading the way because you knew Theo would take advantage and smack your ass when no one was looking. To his surprise, you slapped his backside with a sly little smirk, causing him to glance over at you in shock. 

By the time you were seated on the expensive velvet couch, Theo was practically jittering. His knee bounced beside you as Hermione continued telling you about the Paris trip Draco had planned. Without looking at him, you placed a hand on your boyfriend’s leg and stopped his anxious bouncing. He sighed beside you, no doubt pouting like a petulant child. Yet you didn’t give him the satisfaction of acknowledgement, which only made him more desperate. 

“Let’s get out of here,” Theo whispered into your ear. “You can devour me all you’d like, cara mia.”

You shook your head. “We haven’t even gotten to dessert yet, my love.” 

When Draco brought out a spread of chocolate covered strawberries, the opportunity to tease Theo even more quite literally presented itself on a silver platter. You pinched the ripe fruit between your fingers before wrapping your lips around it. Theo watched with rapt attention as you took a slow, deliberate bite, making a whole show of sucking and licking off the chocolate. He gripped the armchair so hard that his knuckles turned white from the strained effort. 

You bit back a smirk as he crossed his legs and tried not to groan. It was obvious that you had the upper hand now. Theo was barely paying attention to whatever anecdote Enzo and Mattheo were rambling to him about. Those electric eyes were trained on you as you picked up another strawberry. 

“Want a bite, Teddy?” you asked lovingly. “They’re sweet.” 

Theo sucked in a breath before nodding slowly. He didn’t trust his voice at the moment. You offered the fruit to him, cradling his cheek gently as he wrapped his lips around the strawberry in a suggestive manner. Theo kept eye contact as he sucked the white chocolate off. You stared back, smiling sweetly as he devoured the fruit in one bite. He seemed frustrated at your unaffected expression, but you were determined not to break. You were going to come out on top tonight. In more ways than one. 

Usually, the two of you would be the first to leave. You rarely made it through an entire night without Theo dragging you into the floo so you could tear each other apart back at your shared flat. Tonight was different though. You lasted all the way through midnight, forcing yourself to laugh and chat with your friends as you ignored your boyfriend’s fuck me eyes from across the room. 

For that, you made sure you were the last to leave. Theo was convinced he was slowly dying. As soon as the two of you stepped through the floor, your boyfriend scrambled towards your direction, itching to get his hands all over you. 

You stepped out of his reach and shook your head. “I didn’t say you could touch me.” 

Theo looked utterly confused. “I’ve never needed permission before.” 

You chuckled darkly. “You really think I’d reward you for acting like a brat all night? You’re going to learn that it’s a bad idea to tease me like that in front of all of our friends.” Theo gaped at your words. “Now, sit. You can use this time to think about what you’ve done.” 

“Dolcezza, please —“

”Did I fucking stutter, Theo?” You jutted your chin to the bed. “Sit. I won’t tell you again.” 

Judging by the look on his face, Theo was stunned at the sudden change, but you knew your boyfriend well enough to notice that he was entirely turned on by it too. He settled on the edge of the bed, watching in anticipation as you made your way over to the vanity table. As slowly as possible, you took off every piece of jewelry one by one. The diamonds glittered brightly as you removed them from your neck, ears, and fingers. 

A tense silence settled in the room while you pulled the pins out of your updo, sending your hair cascading over your shoulders. Theo squirmed in place, groaning at the sight. You knew that seeing your hair down was his weakness.

“Baby,” he pleaded in the darkness. “Can I touch you?” 

You cut him a disinterested glance over your shoulder. “You can help me take my dress off.” 

Theo sighed in relief as you sauntered over to him. His slender fingers struggled with the zipper, eager to tear the fabric off of your body. You met his gaze through the mirror, giving him a stern look. 

“Slow, Theo. You need to be patient.” 

Your boyfriend swallowed thickly, struggling to reign himself in. He concentrated on undressing you slowly, his hands shaking slightly as he pulled the zipper down. He cursed under his breath when your dress pooled around your feet, leaving you in nothing but a little lacy green set — his favorite. 

The struggle was evident in his expression. His gaze raked over your body, settling on the spiky heels that you purposely kept on. The red soled stilettos clicked against the wooden floors as you closed the gap. You smirked as you settled between his legs and tugged on his tie. 

“Your turn,” you rasped while Theo gazed at you with pure hunger. “Let me undress you now.” 

“Okay,” Theo murmured, dazed and confused as you unbuttoned his shirt. 

He hissed when you raked your nails over his chest and made quick work of his tie. Theo started unbuttoning his shirt, but reeled back when you swatted his hands away. Your boyfriend gazed up at you expectantly, letting his hands fall neatly to his sides while you took over. Without much effort, you expertly unbuckled his belt and kneeled before him to help him slip out of his pants. Once he was stripped down to his boxers, your eyes flickered back to his face.  

“Get on the bed,” you commanded. 

Theo was mesmerized, inching backwards towards the headboard on his elbows, but keeping his attention on you as you crawled on the mattress with your heels still on. Your boyfriend was completely under your spell as you brought your face close to his, your hair tickling his chest while he eagerly drank you in. 

“What do you want?” 

“I want to kiss you,” he answered without hesitation.

”Then learn to ask for it.” 

Theo nodded, biting his lip. “Can I kiss you?” 

You raised a brow, utterly unimpressed. “Try again, Theo.” 

He chewed on his bottom lip, canines sinking down. “Can I kiss you, please?” 

You smirked, pleased with the magic word. “Good boy.” 

Something dark flashed in Theo’s expression. Your words seemed to awaken a new level of lust and desire within him. The praise gave him a rush that he had never felt before. Theo surged forward, his mouth slanting over yours eagerly. He tasted like wine and strawberries, heady and sinful while he kissed you deeply. His tongue slipped past the seam of your lips, demanding entrance. You granted his request, licking the roof of his mouth as you battled for control. 

Theo welcomed the challenge, groaning into your mouth as he pulled you into his lap. You straddled him and tugged at his hair as you flicked your tongue over his bottom lip, licking and sucking until he groaned with need. Theo took liberties without your permission, his greed getting the best of him as he grinded his hard length against your ass. 

You weren’t going to reward his impertinent behavior. You promised to teach him a lesson tonight. Theo gasped as you bit down on his bottom lip before raising his arms above him. He blinked in confusion as you bound him to the headboard with his own tie. It all happened so fast that by the time he noticed, it was already too late. 

Theo tugged at the restraints, squirming underneath you. “Please, cara mia. I want to touch you.” 

You sighed in disappointment. “Then you should've asked.” 

His biceps flexed as he struggled, the veins on his forearms stark and prominent against his olive skin. Panic filled his eyes when he realized that there was no getting out of his binds. “I’m sorry. I got greedy. Please untie me, principessa. I’ll be good, I promise. I’ll make it up to you.” 

Theo sounded desperate. You traced his swollen lips with your fingers and tugged at his messy brown waves. His eyes were wild as you straddled him. “Oh, you will,” you drawled, flashing him a devious smirk. “After I’m done with you, you’ll learn not to disobey me, my love.” 

Your boyfriend panted heavily as you kissed down his chest, sucking and nipping at his flesh in a punishing manner. He was barely breathing as you trailed further south, licking a stripe down his torso. Theo whimpered as you pressed sloppy, openmouthed kisses along his abdominal muscles, leaving hickies in the shape of your initials on his skin. You continued taunting him with your mouth, flicking your tongue along his sinfully delicious happy trail like you had all the time in the world. When you grazed your teeth against his v-lines, Theo tugged at his arms so hard that the headboard rattled. 

He was practically in tears as you palmed his cock through the fabric of his underwear. Theo held his breath as you toyed with the band of his boxers, hooking your fingers over the fabric before sliding it off his long legs. His eyes rolled back while you pumped him, applying just the right amount of pressure to have him writhing against your touch. 

A desperate little whine slipped past his lips as you licked at the head of his cock, swirling your tongue over his tip and slurping up his precum. His moans filled the room when you took him down your throat, holding his hips down so he can’t fuck up into your mouth like he wants. Theo cursed in Italian as you pumped him with both hands, all the while sucking down and hollowing your cheeks to suction him in. 

“Fuck, bella. I’m so close,” he whispered in a hoarse voice. “I’m going to cum.” 

You withdrew your hands and your mouth at that moment, making him whine and groan from the sudden absence. Theo’s eyes flew wide open, tears filling his vision as you shook your head in disapproval. 

“I thought I told you to ask,” you chided. “If you want to cum, use your words.” 

“Please, please, baby, I’ll do whatever you want —“

”I know,” you said before settling over him and sliding off your panties. “And what I want is for you to get me off. Think you can help me with that, Theo?” 

“Yes, yes. Just untie me and I will. I’ll make you feel good, dolcezza. I promise.” 

“Oh, but you can do that right here, right now. With your hands tied.” Theo groaned as you grinded against him, spreading his precum and your slick over him. He moaned when his cock rubbed against your swollen clit with the perfect amount of friction. Theo was bewildered, his breaths coming out in ragged spurts. 

“Be a good boy and let me use you as my fuck toy. You can do that, can’t you, Teddy?” 

There wasn’t a single coherent thought in his mind. Theo felt the words escape him as you grinded against him. He felt dizzy. His cock was so hard that it hurt and he couldn’t even think straight. You hummed, brushing a finger over his balls before cupping them in your hand. 

“Use your words, pretty boy.” Theo blinked back, unable to speak. You grabbed his jaw roughly, forcing him back into focus. “I asked you a question. I expect you to answer.” 

Theo whimpered before nodding weakly. “Use me, dolcezza. I’m yours.” 

You smirked in satisfaction. Theo groaned as you rubbed your pussy against his cock. When his shaft brushed against your clit, his eyes rolled back so hard that he was convinced he could see the vacantness of his empty mind. You rode him hard and fast, using his body to get you off. The depravity of it turned him on even more. The blood rushed out of his head at the dominance you exhibited. You were utterly selfish, taking what you wanted when you wanted it, and he was so fucking aroused at how cruel his girl could be. 

You raked your nails over his chest as you balanced, teasing him with your wet folds without letting him feel you. Theo bit his lip so hard that the action drew blood. You licked away the crimson droplets and he sighed against your mouth as you gave him relief, sloppily kissing him while you moaned his name. He could tell you were getting close by the way you convulsed above him and he cursed as your pussy squelched against his cock. 

Theo was in awe as you cried out, cumming while you screamed his name. You slowed the roll of your hips as you lost yourself over to the orgasm, denying him of his own again. Your juices trickled down your thighs and pooled against his stomach. At that point, his cock was so sensitive that it throbbed painfully. Theo was in shambles, his wrists raw and red from tugging so hard. 

“Please, please, baby. Let me fuck you. I need it. I need you. I’ll die if I’m not inside you.” 

You chuckled, brushing the salty tears pooling underneath his pretty eyes. “Pathetic. Are you begging for me, pretty boy? So desperate to fill me up, to feel my pussy hug around your cock while you pump your cum inside of me, hm?” 

“It hurts so bad,” Theo whined. “Please, I’ll do anything. Anything you want. I’ll get on my knees and beg. Please, principessa.” 

“Look at you crying for me,” you cooed, caressing his cheek. “Poor Teddy. You’ve been so good. Let me take care of you now.” You soothed him with praises as you untied his arms. 

You kissed his wrists as Theo sighed in relief. “Do you want to touch me, baby?” 

Theo nodded shyly, which made you smile. His large, rough hands carefully gripped your hips. He looked to you for approval, making sure to check with you for every little thing. You only nodded, dragging his hands up to rest on your breasts. He busied himself with your bra strap, breathing raggedly as he freed your tits from the fabric. 

“Can I touch them, please?” Theo asked earnestly. 

“Is that all you want?” 

“No,” he answered honestly. “I want to kiss them. I want to suck them.” His gaze flickered to your amused expression. “Please, baby.” 

“Go ahead. You earned it, pretty boy.” 

Theo wasted no time, kneading your tits while kissing down your cleavage. He gasped in surprise when you sank down onto him, nearly sobbing in relief when he felt your pussy hug around his cock. His shaky little breaths seeped into your skin as you took inch after inch, making yourself comfortable on his lap as he sheathed himself inside of you. Theo whined when you lifted your hips until only his remained inside of you. 

“Don’t whine, Theo. Be thankful that I’m fucking you instead of punishing you.” 

He rested his head on the crook of your neck, attempting to ground himself. “Thank you, baby. I’m grateful. I don’t deserve it, but you’re so good to me.” 

With a proud smile, you slammed down to take all of him again. Theo was rendered speechless and his mouth fell open as you bounced on his cock. Desperately, he scrambled to catch your perky breasts into his mouth. Your boyfriend sucked on your tits, swirling his tongue around your nipples. You moaned as he nipped at you, tensing when you yanked him by his hair. 

Theo stared at you, waiting for direction. Knowing that you had this much control over him made you clench. In your relationship, Theo tended to take on the dominant role, but now that you knew that your boyfriend was more than open to being submissive, you were ready to explore this new dynamic.

“I like this side of you,” you murmured, kissing down his jaw and neck. His breath hitched as you slowly rolled your hips. “So obedient. So willing. So submissive.” A shiver shuddered through him as you wrapped your fingers around his neck. “Tell me who you belong to, Theo.” 

“You, baby,” he rasped. “Only you.” 

“Show me,” you commanded as you squeezed his throat. It was enough to make Theo feel dizzy, momentarily cutting off his oxygen. “Fuck me like you mean it.” 

The desire to please you overwhelmed him. All thoughts of his own pleasure faded. It was secondary to the need to hear you praise him, to validate him, to call him your good boy. He hooked his arm around your waist, shifting his hips to fuck into you at a deeper angle. You moaned above him as your bodies melded together. Sweat, sin, and sex permeated the air while he worshiped at your altar. 

Theo watched his cock disappear between your folds, his gaze flickering from your pussy to your face, eager to know if his actions pleased you. You brushed his hair back, gentle and loving, while you talked him through it. 

“That’s it, Teddy. Fill me up.” Theo thrusted as you bounced, groaning as he hit the sweet spot that made your body sing. “Just like that. Fuck, it’s so good. You’re so good, baby.” 

Your forehead dropped to his, rewarding him with sweet little kisses every time he hit the spongy spot that had you seeing stars. He relished in your compliments, felt himself craving it like a drug. When your pussy clenched around him to signal your release, Theo continued to fuck you through the orgasm. There was a reverent glimmer in his eyes like he was witnessing something holy when you came. 

Theo could feel his own release nearing, but he knew better than to cum without asking. It was abundantly clear to him that you were in control tonight. “Can I cum? Please, principessa?” 

“Of course you can,” you replied with a blissed out smile. “Good boys get to cum.” 

He held his breath, feeling warmth spread throughout his body. “I’ve been a good boy?” 

“Mhm,” you murmured, pulling him in for a soft kiss. “The best boy.” Even though you were sensitive and overstimulated, you made sure to reward his good behavior. Picking up the pace, sliding easily up and down his cock thanks to your wetness, you whispered the words that you knew would push Theo over the edge. “Now be a good boy and cum inside of me, baby.” 

Theo cried out with a shout, shuddering underneath you as he shot hot ribbons deep inside your pussy. You could feel his cum filling you up, warm and wet as it trickled out. He panted against your neck as his cock twitched inside of you, releasing his load with each pump. As he emptied himself out, Theo slowed, his body collapsing from the intensity of the orgasm. 

When he regained consciousness, he was flat on his back. Theo blinked away the white spots in his vision. It felt like his soul had left his body entirely. He had cum so hard he passed out. As he rejoined the physical realm, Theo opened his eyes to find you cleaning him up. You were so sweet and gentle, the complete opposite of the selfish lover you’d been just a few moments ago. It warmed his heart to know that you’d always take care of him no matter what. 

Theo smiled as you kissed his forehead. A small whimper escaped his mouth as you pulled his boxers over his legs, his cock still sensitive from the intense sex. You whispered sweet nothings into his ear, soothing him as you brushed your fingers through his hair. Theo cuddled against your side and sighed happily. 

“Holy fuck,” he whispered. 

You giggled, pressing soft kisses all over his face. “Did you like that?” You asked, teasing your boyfriend. “It seems like you did.” 

He hummed against your skin, brushing his lips against your neck. “Fuck, I think you just unlocked a new kink for me.” You chuckled at his words. “That was so fucking hot, baby.” 

“You know, I was trying to teach you a lesson,” you mused. “I didn’t quite expect you to enjoy getting degraded this much.” 

“Degrade me whenever you want, dolcezza.” 

"Really?" you hummed, musing on his willingness. "How far would you let me go? If I broke out a leash and collar, would you have stopped me?"

You were half-joking, but the eager expression on your boyfriend's face told you that he was more than willing to make your suggestion into a reality.

"Don't threaten me with a good time, cara mia." Theo wrapped an arm around your waist, tugging you closer. "I'd crawl to you on my hands and knees if you asked. If you're the one asking, there's nothing I wouldn't do."

The power definitely gave you a head rush. As much as you relished in the hold you had over him, you tucked the knowledge away for later. There was plenty of opportunity to act out all your dirtiest, filthiest fantasies, but for now, you were more than content to snuggle with the love of your life.

You smirked, nipping at his jaw. “That’s my good boy.” 

[nerdyfangirl67]

A Piece of You - Criminal Minds Reader Insert

Pairing: Spencer x fem!reader

Warning: Spencer in prison, angst!, language, post prison!Spencer, PTSD symptoms, fluff ending

Word count: 5951

Short summary: Reader finds she is pregnant just as Spencer is sent to prison.

A/N: Y/F/N means your first name. Y/L/N means your last name. Y/N means your name. And Y/C/M means your comfort movie. I chose for the baby in the fic to be a girl, but feel free to change it when you read it. I found a blog post on the internet that stated Reid was in jail for about 84 days, so I added some to accommodate time for travel, etc and am going with it. I also changed a few things, like Spencer coming home without the reader knowing and I didn’t include his mother as much either, to add to the storyline. And I added/made up a few details with the whole prison call/visit things so it may not ring true. Link here: click

A warm pair of lips placing feather-lite kisses on your face pulls you away from the comforting arms of sleep. You sluggishly open your eyes, blinking the blurry figure leaning over you in the darkness of the bedroom into focus.

“Spence?” You drawl out, reaching a hand up to weave into his curly hair. “Don’t go.” He lets out a small laugh as he gently unthreads your hand from his hair. “I’ve got to go Y/N.” He says reluctantly, moving to rest his forehead against yours for a moment. You close your eyes, reveling in the intimacy of the moment. 

“I love you.” You murmur, your breath fanning across Spencer’s face. You reach up enough to press your lips against Spencer’s in a tender kiss. “Come home safe.” 

“I love you too Y/N. Go back to sleep.” He says as he brings the comforter back up over your shoulders. “I’ll be home before you know it.” 

If you had known that the kiss you’d given Spencer before he left for his trip to Mexico would have been the last you’d be able give him for the next 89 days (you had been counting), you would’ve made it more than a sleepy, wet kiss as you yearned for your bed. You would have hugged him tight, pressing your face into his chest, deeply breathing his musk in as you listen to his heartbeat. You would have pulled him in for two, three, four more kisses, murmuring words of love between each.

Most importantly, you would have told him what you had found out only the night before when he had been at work, that you were pregnant. If only you had known what was to happen, you could have saved yourself from the hell to come. 

---

No matter the case, Spencer always made sure to call, or at the very least text, you once a day. But after two days of radio silence, you were starting to worry. You had called him twice, leaving him a message each time asking him to call you when he could. You sent him quite a few text messages as well, becoming more and more concerned as time passed but you receive no call back from him.

By the fifth day, despite having sent a number of additional text messages and leaving enough voicemails to fill Spencer’s inbox, you still hadn’t heard from him. You are so worried that you can hardly focus at work. In fact, you are so distracted by thoughts of Spencer being kidnapped or him being shot and bleeding out in an alley that you got pulled into your boss’s office and reprimanded for your “airhead behavior”, as your boss had put it. When you arrive home, you are gripped with such anxiety and fear that you can only grab one of Spencer’s large sweaters and curl up in bed with it. You can’t even bring yourself to take off your shoes. 

The ringing of your phone early the next morning pulls you from the trance you had been in all night. You frantically start looking for your phone and quickly find it on Spencer’s side of the bed, answering it without looking at the number. 

“Spencer? Is that you? Are you okay?” You blurt out, not allowing the other person to talk before you are firing questions at them.

“Is this Y/F/N Y/L/N?” The voice on the other side asks quickly, stopping you. You immediately know it isn’t Spencer, just as much as you know that it isn’t someone you know. 

“Yes. May I ask who this is and what it is regarding?” You ask nervously, your heart quickening as you wait what feels like an eternity for them to answer. 

“I’m Penelope Garcia and I work with Spencer at the FBI.” She pauses for a moment, as if trying to find the right words to continue. “You were the most called number in the call log on Spencer’s phone and I felt like this is something you should know, as he seems to be someone very important to you, and vice versa.” The brokenness of her voice causes the worry in your chest to bubble up again. “Spencer is in jail...in Mexico.” 

“Wh-what?” You struggle to wrap your mind around what she is saying as you climb out of bed, rushing to find your discarded jacket and set of keys from the night before. You aren’t entirely sure why you’re rushing, or even where you’d be going, but that doesn’t slow you down. “Was there a case in Mexico? What happened?” 

“There wasn’t a case. He took some personal days and went to Mexico for some experimental medication for his mother. He...um..he was arrested for murder, but he doesn’t remember anything.” 

You take a deep breath, forcing yourself to sit in one of the living room chairs as you try to fight off the sobs rising in your chest. “Is he, is he going to stay in Mexico? I mean, is he, no, when will...he didn’t do it.” You stammer out, as you try to slow your racing thoughts, stop the inevitable tears from falling, and make your word coherent. 

“Miss Y/L/N, I don’t have the answers to those questions yet. But, I can keep you updated if you’d like. The team left a few hours for Mexico to help Reid. They want to get him transferred to a prison in the states.” Her voice is comforting, but does nothing to tamp down the feeling of impending disaster that is rising in you. You manage to get out a shaky goodbye to Penelope before you lose grip on your emotions.

You struggle to get a proper breath through the onslaught of tears as the reality of the situation hits you. Your phone clatters to the floor as you bury your face in your arms, drawing your legs up to yourself as you try to push it all away. Eventually the tears slow and stop. You gradually unfurl from the cramped up position you had been in. You numbly make your way to the kitchen and somehow manage to make yourself breakfast. The rest of the day passes in a hazy blur, with you almost forgetting that you were supposed to be at work (you called in sick once you remembered, but your boss wasn’t happy the call was coming in three hours late). You spend the night, clutching Spencer’s pillow and wishing that this were all a dream. You don’t fall asleep until the early hours of the morning, when the exhaustion of the last few days finally overtakes you.

The ringing of your phone wakes you later that morning, serving as a reminder that you have to face the day ahead, as much as you don’t want to.

“Y/F/N? This is Penelope with the FBI. I called you yesterday about Spencer.” Her greeting has you sitting up, trying to clear the foggy cloud from your brain so you could think. 

“Penelope, have you found anything else out? How is Spencer?” You plow over any possible pleasantries as you ask the question that had been on your mind for the last day.

“The team was able to get him extradited to the United States.” She starts, her words helping to ease some of the anxiety that had built up since you had learned about Spencer’s imprisonment. “He isn’t out yet, but the team is working on his case. In the meantime, I’m setting up a visitor schedule. If you’d want to come down to Quantico, I can help you fill out the necessary paperwork and get on the schedule to see him, if you’d like.” You quickly voiced your agreement and after getting directions and setting a time, you hung up with Penelope, your mood considerably elevated for the first time in days. 

A glance at the clock has you scrambling out of the bed and to your closet. You had completely forgotten about the doctor’s appointment you had scheduled days ago, before your world had been flipped upside down. You manage to get dressed and ready to go in less than ten minutes, arriving at your appointment only a few minutes late.

Your appointment is short as the doctor just does a routine exam, confirming your pregnancy and letting you know that the baby was healthy so far. You receive a list of different things to avoid (such as caffeine and smoking) and a few different things that are beneficial to your, and the baby’s, health (such as prenatal vitamins). After your appointment, you quickly stop at the store to pick up a few things suggested by the doctor, before heading back to Spencer’s apartment, where you had been staying. Although he had never officially asked you to move in, you had been staying at his apartment most nights for the past few months and had your own drawer and spot in his closet. And with the events of the past few days, it had just felt right to stay, almost as if you had one small part of him still with you. 

 You go to bed early that night, really early, in hopes of getting the time to pass quicker. The prospect of seeing Spencer has you anxious and excited at the same time, making sleep nearly impossible. After a few hours of tossing and turning, with no sleep, you climb out of bed and get dressed. You grab your purse and keys before leaving the apartment. You walk the short distance to your car and start it. Despite knowing that you would be hours early to your meeting with Penelope, you still start the drive to Quantico and the FBI building. 

After almost an hour in the car, and twenty minutes with security (in which they had to confirm your meeting with Penelope before they gave you a visitor credential), you finally made your way to the floor where the BAU team worked. Your eyes scan the bullpen and immediately you recognize Spencer’s desk, even though you had never seen it before. You recognize the pattern in which the items are placed and the semi-clearness of his desk space; it is identical to the desk he uses for work at home. You make your way towards it, tracing a finger along the fake wood edge as you take a seat in his desk chair. Sitting here, you can almost feel his presence behind you, his voice speaking up, sharing an idea he had or some crazy fact, his fingers tapping along the edge of his desk. You take comfort in the feeling as you rest your head in your arms on his desktop. It isn’t long before you are closing your eyes and falling into a light sleep.

A tap on your shoulder jerks you awake, causing you to fly up in a sitting position and blink at the harsh light of the bullpen. “You must be Y/F/N Y/L/N. I’m Penelope Garcia.” A cheery blonde, wearing a bright orange dress and matching hair accessory, as well as holding a bright pink pom topped pen. 

You stand, smoothing out any wrinkles in your outfit before offering a hand out to her. “Yes, that’s me.” She takes your hand but instead of shaking it, pulls you into a hug. You are taken back by her forwardness, but give her a squeeze in return.

“Let’s go see what we can do to get you on the visitor list.” She says softly, leading the way to what you could only describe as her office, although it more resembled a cave, filled with more types of technology than you would know what to do with.

Penelope gestures to a black swivel desk chair set next to the wall. “Here, take a seat. I’m going to pull up Spencer’s information and see if we can get you some visitor paperwork.” She says as you take a seat in the chair. The longer you sit there, the more nervous you feel. Unconsciously, you rest your hand on your lower stomach, right over the small bump that was starting to form. 

You don’t realize that you are zoned out until Penelope clears her throat. “Are you okay?” She nods at your hand resting on your stomach. You quickly pull it away, straightening up in your seat. “Yes, I’m fine.”

She gives you a long stare before speaking. “I have some good news and some bad news Y/N.” You nod, waiting for her to speak with bated breath. “The good news - you can call Spencer.” 

You wait for her to continue, but she doesn’t. “And the bad news?”

“I can’t add you to the visitor list. It seems that Spencer doesn’t want you to come see him as a visitor.” She can’t look you in the eye as she says that.

You are quiet after that, not entirely sure what to say. The thought that he doesn’t want to see you hurts. But you also know Spencer, and whatever the reason, you know he has one.

“He can take a call in about five minutes if you want to get on the call list.” She says, looking up from one of her monitors at you. You nod quickly, before voicing your agreement. The five minutes of waiting seemed to go on forever, but finally, she is patching through to a prison phone. “Here you go, he should be on the other line now.” The fact that she immediately gave the phone to you, instead of taking some of the time to talk to him, had you smiling gratefully at her. ‘Thank you’, you mouth as you take the phone. 

“Spencer? Is that you?” You ask, your heart in your throat as you wait to hear his voice.

“Y/N, it’s so good to hear your voice.” He speaks quietly, the low quality of the phone call causing his voice to crackle.

“I know you didn’t do it Spencer. Whatever they are saying, it isn’t true.” You whisper, clutching the handset close to your ear, as if that would bring him closer to you. 

“Y/N...I don’t know-” He starts but you cut him off, knowing he was going to tell you he wasn’t sure what had happened.

“I know Spencer, but I also know you. And that isn’t who you are.” You say thickly, as you fight back the coming tears. “I want to see you Spencer. Why don’t you have me on your visitor list?”

“I don’t want you to see me like this. I don’t want you to see me here.” You start to argue that it doesn’t matter, but some yelling in the background cuts you off, after which Spencer says, “I’ve got less than a minute Y/N before I’ve got to hang up.” He says solemnly, the sorrow in his voice echoing the sorrow you felt. 

You push aside the topic of seeing him, not wanting to waste what little time you had left talking to him by arguing. “I love you Spencer. Don’t forget that okay? I don’t care how long it takes, we-I will be here when you come home. You have a lot of people here in your corner Spencer. They will get you out.” You push back the tears as you talk, not wanting him to hear you cry.

“Gosh, I love you and I miss you. I wish I was th-” His voice is cut off, followed shortly by a dial tone.

You grip at the handset, calling “Spencer? Spencer?!”, wishing for him to respond.

“I’m sorry Y/N. The call ended.” Penelope says quietly. You hand over the handset, moving to sit back in the swivel chair against the wall, roughly wiping away the evidence of your tears as you do.

“What do we do now?” You ask through the tears.

“We wait. The team is working on his case and I will keep you updated on everything that happens. Do you need anything?” She asks, giving you a good look.

You are telling her before you consciously realize what you are doing. “I-I’m pregnant. I just found out and I haven’t had the chance to tell Spencer. I don’t know what to do. I want to tell him when I can see him face to face, when he can enjoy it for what it is, a blessing. But I hate hiding things from him.”

Penelope gives out a little squeal, bouncing up from her chair to hug you tight. “Oh, you are gonna have a baby Reid!” She says loudly, taking a step back from you. The look on your face must have given away the shock on your face because she is quickly apologizing. “Oh my goodness, I am so sorry. What can I do to help Y/N?”

“I just, I need someone to talk to. I miss him, a lot. It’s hard to be going through this alone.” You whisper, looking down at your hands in your lap. 

“Girl, you don’t have to ask. I’d love to be your friend.” She says excitedly, giving you a soft shoulder bump. “And I’m going to do everything I can to get the boy wonder home to you.” She gives you a small smile. “And your little one.”

---

The days follow a routine after that. Work, talking to Penelope, and the occasional doctor’s appointment. Penelope comes to some of the appointments as support, which you appreciate, and when you find out the gender, she insists on going shopping for baby items with you. You are able to talk to Spencer a few more times, although each phone call is shorter than the last, and leaves you missing him even more. 

Each doctor’s appointment is harder than the last. All you could think of when you hear the baby’s heartbeat is that Spencer wasn’t there. All you could think of when you feel the baby move for the first time is that Spencer might never be able to feel your baby move like that. He might never get the chance to feel your baby kick. All you can think of when you hear the gender of your baby is that Spencer might never get to experience that excitement, that joy, of imagining all the future things that might be in store for the baby. 

---

Late one evening in early May, after a long day at work (which you had spent almost entirely on your feet) and a feeling of nausea that had lasted all day, you dig through Spencer’s side of the closet and grab one of his cardigans. You pull it on, wrapping around you as well as you can with your growing belly getting in the way. 

You grab one of the many books resting on Spencer’s side table, taking it with you as you head to the living room. You pull the afghan blanket off of the back of the leather wingback, carrying it with you as you move to the dark leather couch. You get comfortable, wrapping the blanket around your legs and waist before opening the random book you had grabbed.

It isn’t long before the story has your eyelids drooping and your muscles relaxing, giving into the cloud of exhaustion that hung over you. The book, forgotten and half-open, falling to the floor doesn’t wake you, and neither does your cell phone, distant and tinny, as it rings from the bedroom. You don’t wake at the jingling of a key in the lock or the opening of the apartment door. However, the heavy thud that follows the apartment door falling shut has you jerking awake, one hand coming to rest on the swell of your abdomen, the other on the back of the couch. You struggle a bit to sit up, but when you do, after taking a moment to study the intruder, you realize it’s Spencer.

“Spencer?” You whisper, moving slowly from the couch, not entirely sure if he was real or a figment of your imagination. Either way, you didn’t want to scare him away. You stop when you are a foot from him. You search his light brown, almost hazel eyes, the pain and darkness within them, swirling around and hardening his expression. You tentatively reach out with your hand to caress his face. Your fingers slowly graze his stubble covered jaw before you move to rest it against his cheek. 

He leans into your touch, bringing his large, rough hand up to cover yours. Your eyes fill with tears, causing your view of him to become blurry and before you can stop yourself, you are throwing your arms around his neck, pulling him as close as you can get. 

He is quick to return the hug, but after a brief moment, he becomes stiff, his arms sliding loosely down your back. You step back, feeling hurt and confused at his sudden rejection of your affection.

“What’s wrong?” You murmur as you roughly wipe a hand across your face, trying to get rid of the tears that were running down your face. 

“You’re pregnant.” He states, his eyes no longer looking at your face, but instead, your belly.

Your heart beats faster, a rush of excitement going through you. This was it, the moment you’d been waiting for. You’d finally get to tell Spencer that he was going to be a father.

“Spencer, it’s ours.” You answer softly, gently taking his hand in yours and placing right above where the baby typically kicked. “You’re going to be a father.” 

“I-I am?” He questions in disbelief. His hand, which had been rigidly resting on your belly, slowly relaxes just as the baby kicks. He jerks his hand away, stepping back and bumping into the door. He brings his hands up, pushing them into his hair. His fingers grip onto the long, curly locks as uses his palms to cover his eyes. 

“No, this isn’t happening, it’s a dream. I don’t deserve this.” He is rambling now as he slowly slides down the door, landing in a sitting position. His face is still covered with his hands as he continues to ramble. “This isn’t real. I don’t deserve this.” 

“Spencer?” You murmur, keeping your voice low, but audible as you kneel down beside him. You place a gentle hand on his arm, afraid that your touch might startle him. He doesn’t move as he continues to talk to himself. You bring your other hand up to cradle his still covered face. You stay this way for a long time, holding him as much as he’ll allow in his closed off position. Eventually, he stops muttering to himself and is quiet. You shift then, until you're sitting next to him against the door. 

“Lie down, Spencer.” You whisper softly, brushing a lock of his hair back away from his face when he turned to face you. You slide your hand from his hair and over his shoulder, gently pulling him down towards you. He didn’t resist, placing his head in your lap and allowing you to run your fingers through his hair. 

The two of you stay that way until your butt goes numb from sitting in the same place for so long. You squeeze Spencer’s shoulder with your hand to get his attention. “Let’s go to bed, Spence.” You say. He slowly gets up, offering you a hand as he does, avoiding any accidental brushing of your stomach as he did. You keep his hand in yours as he leads the way to the bedroom, only letting go when you move to your side of the bed and get in. He is gone for a few minutes, coming back with a low-slung pair of gray sweatpants and an old college T-shirt on. He gets in bed, but instead of wrapping an arm around your waist and pulling you close as he usually did, he simply laces his fingers through yours. 

Weeks pass this way, with you and Spencer going back to life as it was, or at least as much as the two of you could with Spencer’s new work schedule and the fact that you were getting closer and closer to your due date. The fact that things remained the same though, as they had been when Spencer arrived home for the first time, was what worried you.

Never once did Spencer engage in the conversations you started about the baby or the nursery you wanted in the small spare room across from the bedroom you and Spencer shared. Whenever you commented that the baby was kicking, he found some excuse to leave the room. He still only ever held your hand at night, completely avoiding your ever-growing belly both in bed and anywhere else. It was almost as if he was trying to pretend as if you weren’t actually pregnant, as if what was happening wasn’t reality.  Not only were you constantly uncomfortable, tired and just all around ready for the baby to come, but you were frustrated that Spencer still acted as if you weren’t pregnant, as if anytime within the next few weeks you wouldn’t be handed a newborn, making the two of you parents. You had finally had enough when you had mentioned going shopping for baby supplies about two weeks prior to your due date and he ignored you, continuing to wash the dishes. At first you thought he hadn’t heard you, so you repeat yourself, but when he acted much the same way a second time, you slam your hand on the table.

“Spencer, you can’t ignore this pregnancy. It may not be something you want right now, or ever, but you can’t just ignore it.” You snap at him, the irritation you had been feeling at his callous behavior finally surfacing. He doesn’t answer as he continues to wash the dishes from dinner. You can tell he heard you though, by the unnecessary sheer force he was using to scrub the plate in his hand.

“Spencer,” you pause, waiting until he is looking at you before continuing. “You have to find a way to accept it. This baby is coming.” Your tone is softer now, but your words don’t hold any less bite.

“I can’t accept it Y/N. Accepting it means it’s reality.” He lets out a harsh, joyless laugh. “And the reality is that I don’t deserve this. I don’t deserve you. I don’t deserve a baby. And I definitely don’t deserve this life with you.” He is no longer facing you, rather his back is to you, his shoulders tensed and hunched. 

You place a tender hand on his elbow, wanting him to turn so you could see his face. Instead he roughly pulls his elbow out of your hold, flinging soapy water through the air before returning to the plate. “Spencer, look at me.” You try to speak clearly, steadily, but your voice cracks, betraying the emotion behind your words. 

He does as you ask, but his face is twisted and dark in a way you had never seen before. “Damnit Y/N. You have no idea what I’ve done or who I am.” He is yelling at you now, waving a half washed dish to emphasize his point, causing you to take a step backwards. “You think I should be the father of that child,” he gestures wildly at your belly, “when you don’t even know who I am, what I am.” He drops the plate and the sponge, letting them clatter loudly against the metal basin of the sink, as he walks towards the front door of the apartment, his hands still dripping wet. 

“Where are you going?” Your words are barely audible as you try to force them past the growing lump in your throat. 

He ignores your question as he grabs his jacket from the coat rack by the door and leaves the apartment. The loud thud of the door closings clangs against your ears, the tears you had been trying to hold back freely falling now. You were beyond angry at him, despite knowing you shouldn’t be because he had gone through hell the past few months. You couldn’t bring yourself to wait for him to come back. You were tired of the constant bickering and the numerous different times he had chosen to ignore any mention of your pregnancy or the baby.

You quickly fill your duffle bag with the things you’d need for a few days as you called Penelope. The phone rings three times before she answers with a bright, cheery “hello, Garcia.” 

“Penelope, hey. It’s Y/N. Can I stay at your place for a few nights?” You ask as you zip your bag closed. “I need some space from Spencer.” 

“Of course girl. You’re welcome anytime.” She says warmly. “I’ll get the couch made up and Y/C/M queued up on the TV.”

“Thanks Penelope. I’ll see you soon.” You end the call and upon reaching the kitchen, you find a piece of paper and a pen.

Spencer,

I am going to stay with Penelope for a few days. I just need some space.

I’ll be back in a few days.

I love you.

Y/N

You magnet the note to the fridge, where Spencer will be able to find it. You then grab your bag and make your way out of the apartment and down to your car. The drive to Penelope’s doesn’t take long, and when you knock on her door, she is there, holding a pint of your favorite ice cream and the TV remote. “Come here girl.” She proclaimed, pulling you into a side hug. 

The two of you watched feel-good movies well into the night. It is really hard for you to get comfortable, despite being on Penelope’s comfortable sofa, but you chalk it up to being 38 weeks pregnant and partaking in a ‘girls’ sleepover’. When you finally become too tired to keep your eyes open, you rifle through your bag, finding your toothbrush and toothpaste. “I’m going to brush my teeth Penelope.” You say, standing up to go to the bathroom. A wet sensation washing all down your legs has your frozen in place. The pinching sensation in your back intensifies, causing you to sit back down. “Penelope..” You call through the pain. 

“Huh? Y/N?” Penelope answers groggily, sitting up from her relaxed position on the oversized chair. If the situation weren’t so serious, you’d be laughing at the way her hair was standing up in random directions.

“Penelope, I think I need to go to the hospital.” You say, letting out a breath as the pain subsided. She is at your side within moments. “What’s wrong? Is it-oh.” Penelope stops as she sees the evidence of your leaking amniotic fluid on pants. “Let’s go Y/N. We’ve got a baby Reid on the way.” She says cheerily, helping you up. She grabs your bag, which was sitting by the door and helps you out to your car, opening the passenger door for you. The drive to the hospital goes much slower than you would like as a combination of traffic and increasing contractions makes the thirty minute drive feel twice as long. 

Upon reaching the emergency room, you are wheeled into a private birthing room with Penelope following closely behind. She stays with you throughout the next six hours of labor, leaving only once near the end. The closer the birth of your child gets, the foggier you feel. At one point, someone else enters the room, hovering near the head of your bed, but you can’t focus enough to see who it is.

After six hours and twenty-eight minutes of labor, you give birth to a beautiful baby girl. Shortly after birth, she is placed on your chest, a bright pink and green striped blanket placed over her backside. You laugh through the tears as you look into her eyes for the first time, an overwhelming feeling of love overtaking you. The hustle and clatter of the doctors around you slowly fade away as you get lost looking at the face of your newborn daughter.

“Y/N, she’s…” Spencer’s voice startles you as he trails off, causing you to take in his lanky form, framed by the hospital room door. “I...I don’t know what to say.”

“This baby, she’s a piece of you and me and if all I’ll ever get is a piece of you, then I’ll be happy. I love you and I want this life with you, but I can’t force you to love us either Spencer.” You pause, wiping away the tears falling down your face in frustration. “No matter what you think Spencer, I won’t ever stop loving you, just as this little girl won’t ever go a day without knowing who her father truly is. A kind, compassionate man who gave himself wholly and completely for the people he loved, regardless of what that meant for him. That’s who her father is.” You are looking at the baby in your arms now, her bright wide-eyed look bringing a small smile to your face.

You aren’t paying enough attention to Spencer to realize that he had come closer, almost to your bed, and was now staring at the girl in your arms in amazement. “She’s so small.” His words are thick with emotion and cause you to lift your head to look at him. His hazel eyes are glistening with unshed tears as he stares at his daughter.

“Do you want to hold her?” You question, slowly moving her towards his hands, which were hanging awkwardly out in front of him, as if he had anticipated your question. He hesitates a moment before nodding so you place her in his arms.

He cradles her against his chest, holding her as if she was made of glass. His eyes never stray from her face as they study her features, almost as if he was memorizing what she looked like in case he never got to see her again. You lean back against the stiffly starched hospital pillows as you watch them, exhaustion pulling at you.

“You would never have to force me to love her, or you.” His words snap you from the light doze you had fallen into. He is no longer standing as he watches the baby in his arms, now he is sitting in the chair next to your bed, the baby sleeping soundly in his arms. His eyes bore into yours as if he is trying to tell you with his eyes what he was struggling to with his words. 

“I have never stopped loving you.” He looks down at the baby girl in his arms, running a gentle finger over her small cheek. “I just don’t understand what I did to deserve this, to deserve you and her.”

His words break your heart and you place a hand on his knee. “Spencer, of all the people in the world, you deserve this. You deserve love and a family. You do. And I’ll be here, no, we’ll be here everyday to remind you, of who you are and what you do deserve.” You whisper, squeezing his knee as you look at him through teary eyes. 

He leans forward to press a gentle kiss on your forehead. “Thank you.” Those two words, uttered softly near your ear, hold more meaning than the typical words of gratitude and they meant the world to you. They meant he would stay, even if it wasn’t always easy, even if it wasn’t always what he felt he deserved, he would stay.

Tagging: @twilightlover2007 @brandydel @thisiscalm-andits-doctor (I added a few more of you who liked the post I made about this fic. I hope that’s okay!) @aaronhotchnerr @emofairyprincessofarkansas @sunflowersandotherthings @impala1967dwinchester 

[romioneficfest]

The Fallen Hero

Title: The Fallen Hero

Prompt/Day: Shell Cottage/Day 9

Tumbler Name: 

Rating: G+

Brief Summary: An account of the night of escape from Malfoy Manor by the golden trio from Ron’s POV- Reference DH

cw: Character death

Beta credits: A*

********************************

 When Ron was woken up by a soft caress on his face, he did not realize that he had just turned eighteen. He was tired by the day’s failed attempt to locate a Horcrux and almost dozed off as he leaned on to the hollow of the old oak tree near their camp while on watch. He opened his eyes to find Hermione adjusting herself to sit beside him, her side gently touching his, her chapped lips brushing against his cheek in the most delicate way.

 “Happy Birthday, Ron,” she murmured against his ear as her hands dived into her pocket to bring out a chocolate frog for him. “This is all I could get for you,” she said hesitantly and dropped her gaze.

 Ron’s heart filled with elation so deep that he was unable to mutter a simple ‘Thank You’ without choking. In a fraction of a second Ron had smothered Hermione in a tight hug. He held the chocolate frog to her and offered it to her, “You first please”.

 They sat entwined in each other’s arms under the moonlight, pondering what their next destination for the Horcrux hunt should be.

 “I’m sure it is hidden somewhere in the Ministry. It is heavily guarded by You-Know-Who’s puppets,” Hermione suggested.

 “Or Malfoy Manor. I wouldn’t be surprised if they have a collection of dark objects like the Blacks did,” Ron chimed in. Hardly did he perceive then that he was foreshadowing the cruelest two hours of his life, which was crouching in time like a hidden dragon biding its time to burn them alive.

 The day passed as usual. Harry kept on brooding and Hermione kept on arguing with Harry to stop his obsession over the hallows. Fortunately, they had enough food to eat for the day to preserve their sanity.

 After their supper, Ron followed his routine of tuning his radio to Potterwatch and that night he succeeded in his attempt. The tent was filled with the banter of Fred, George, Lee and Lupin and it felt like home. Those moments of rare happiness came to end when Harry said the jinxed name.

 The protective enchantments were broken leaving them exposed to the snatchers. Soon after, they were captured and dragged to Malfoy Manor. He thought they would never get out alive from there. And they probably would be dead if it wasn’t for Harry’s sheer luck and Dobby, the elf who became their saviour.  

 Ron transported himself and Hermione safely away from the cursed place, his panicked mind working on auto-pilot to keep them alive. Relief coursed through his veins when the echo of the familiar waves crashing against the shoreline hit his eardrum. Clutching Hermione’s limp body which was lifted over his shoulders in a fireman lift, he dashed towards the lights of Shell Cottage, Bill and Fleur’s cosy abode. The silhouette of his eldest brother rushed towards them, pointing his wand at him. Bill lowered his wand as soon as he approached Ron.

 “Wat 'appened to 'er?” asked Fleur with concern and probably fear.

 “She’s alive. Harry is on his way. Wait for him here. He’d never been to this place. Besides, we don’t want some bastards to come here on his trail. I’m taking her inside,” he gestured towards Hermione with his eyes.

 He kept on running and climbed two steps in one hop to barge into the adjoining bathroom of the bedroom he inhabited only three months back.

 “I’m sorry Hermione. Mobilicorpus!,” he muttered.

 Lupin had used the spell to steady Snape at the Shrieking Shack, he remembered. Hermione was pulled into a standing position. She was still unconscious.

 He wrapped a towel around her body and quickly removed her soiled clothes. Seeing her in the same clothes which were touched by the ugly hands of the bloodthirsty werewolf and the maniac witch was unbearable for him. When he saw her bruised body hopelessly swinging back and forth, tears which he had been stopping since he saw her lying at Bellatrix’s feet, started rolling down his cheeks. Her skin was almost purple because of the torture she had to endure. Rage bubbled up inside him, yet he couldn’t hold on to it when faced with the need to treat her injuries.

 He took a deep breath and examined her body clinically to patch her up. He cleaned and treated her with dittany, using a washcloth, tapped Pettigrew's wand over her injuries and muttered incantations to heal her broken bones and extract shards of broken glass that got stuck inside her skin. He quickly covered her in a dressing gown he found in the room and gently placed her on the bed.

 His head was still fuzzy, although he knew there was no imminent danger anymore.

 “Say something. Please. Hermione,” he sniffed and kept on whispering again and again. He ran his fingers through her hair while desperately feeling for her pulse with his other hand.

 Ron tried to shut his mind but the scenes of the night kept on replaying. It was the worst birthday of his life. He and Hermione had, like true knights, tried to protect Harry while concealing their identity. But they were way too infamous to have not been identified.

 Ron cringed; he recalled how Greyback threatened to ..., how Hermione screamed in agony when she had been tortured, how Bellatrix wounded her neck and how she almost died under the weight of the chandelier. And Malfoy, the boy who had known them for seven years kept on watching silently. Every single time Hermione screamed, Ron experienced death snuffing away his heartbeat savagely, taunting him to take it back only to snatch it away more ruthlessly.

 Bile had risen up his throat when he overheard Bellatrix’s devious plan of giving Hermione away to Fenrir, as a reward for capturing her prey, Harry. Ron had attacked Bellatrix to protect Hermione from more humiliation. He would have kept on defending Hermione till his last breath. But Dobby saved the day and he did not know how he could ever repay the little elf.    

 Hermione gasped in pain and Ron sniffed again. Ron felt a soft touch on his shoulder. He was not aware that Fleur and Luna were standing beside him until then. Fleur comforted him by rubbing his shoulders.

 “I’ll look after her,” Luna offered. “Dobby is being put to rest. I thought you’d have wanted to know”. Luna’s words pierced through his heart like a sharp blade.

 “Not Dobby!” Ron shook his head in denial. He didn't want to listen anymore. Placing Hermione’s hand gently on the bed, he jumped up from his seat. Dobby deserved a hero's farewell and he would ensure it.

 “Ron!” Hermione croaked with labored breath making him stop in his tracks.

 “I've got to go now,” he lowered his head to hers and whispered softly. She nodded. He kissed her forehead and left to say his goodbye to Dobby.  

   Fleur’s potions strengthened Hermione enough to stand beside Ron during Dobby’s funeral, albeit rather unsteadily. Ron carried Hermione back to the bedroom as she was still shaken. She did not protest but held snugly to his neck instead. He did not feel an ounce of awkwardness in the act. He felt like a man caring for his love. Hermione shifted to her side and extended her arms to him as he deposited her on the bed.

 "You're brave and barmy; did anyone ever tell you that?" Ron whispered to her.

 "Not as  much as you, though. I might not have offered myself to Bellatrix," affection pooled in Hermione’s brown orbs. “Dobby was brave too. I wish he would’ve made it out alive.”

 “Yeah, he shouldn’t have died!” Ron mumbled.

 Ron quickly cleaned himself and settled his body next to hers. Sleeping by her side felt to him as the most natural thing in the world. Hermione nestled into his chest. Ron tried to drift off to sleep. However, with Dobby’s face flashing in his mind, he could hardly blink. He was cradling a living Hermione on the soft bed at Shell Cottage because Dobby saved them, risking his own life, defying his evil masters in the true spirit of a free elf, a hero. His heart was filled with gratitude and reverence for Dobby.

 Did Dobby have a family or ever fall in love? Ron wondered. He had never thought deeply about the life of an elf. But his perspective had changed from that night. Henceforth, he  would really care for them. That was the least he could do to honor Dobby’s sacrifice. Hermione hummed in her sleep as if reading his mind.

 Ron realised that there was no more time to sleep as the first ray of the sun touched Hermione’s face. He kissed Hermione’s curly head and welcomed the new day.

[kur0m1bab3]

This is so freaking old....if you like it though lmk if I should continue it and make it a fic<3

Cw: Tooth rotting disgustingly sweet fluff, iwa is ooc in this, readers race isn’t specified but reader has brown eyes and curly hair:), fem pronouns (she/her)

The habituated essence of perspiration was abounded in the air. Water droplets trickled down the shaft of pine needles and settled in whimsical droplets on the fronds of moss, that concealed the umber color of the once visible tree trunk, now shrouded in succulent vegetation.

The smell of sap encased the hazy senses of the teenage boy, who dared venture into the illustrious temperate biome. The soles of his bare feet kissed the spongey, damp forest floor with calculated steps. His feet slowly becoming one with The terra, as each step he took, saturated the ground even more. Dew from the morning of ,hitting his face softly, creating a misty allusion about the young males face.

It was around dusk, from what Iwaizumi had presumed, his awareness of time being mitigated away, with each stroke of the hour. Crickets and other lively arachnids could be heard, singing their oh so gracious thanks to mother nature, in a low humming harmony.

Iwaizumi was on a mission, you could tell by his movements. Hushed, rapid and calculated. His eyes were focused ahead of him, darting from side to side occasionally, to scope out the oh so familiar forest he became accustomed with over the span of several months.

Iwaizumi was determined to reach the pond by dusk, even if it was the last thing he did. He had left any means of communication back home, he knew that by now his older brother was freaking out, and had probably already issued a missing persons report on the teenager.

But frankly he could care less. He needed to see her, no he had to see her. It had been days since he had last bestowed his eyes upon the girl he was so hopelessly, desperately in love with.

Looking back Iwaizumi chuckled a bit, noting how when he met her, his life did a complete 360.

Being the new kid was always a pain in the ass, on top of being a military brat under the guardianship of a somewhat tin foil hat sergeant, he had the pleasure of calling an older brother. Moving from place to place wasn't ideal, Iwaizumi’s social skills being shot from the beginning unfortunately enough for him.

He was hoping, praying, that his last year of high school would be merely the same as the previous years. Going unnoticed, only to move half way through the year like always.

But of course, for Iwaizumi Hajime things could never go as planned. Here Hajime was, begrudgingly making his way up the neglected moss stone steps located a few feet behind the school. It was routine for the teen, eat lunch up where there was an abandoned gazebo, maybe even skip the rest of the school day, and ponder on what his life was.

His olive eyes traced the crevasses littering the tattered down stone, his movements rooted in a deep muscle memory. Iwaizumi was a scarily good observer, Always watching his surroundings, waiting for a next move. Which is why Hajime jumped in complete and utter surprise as he lifted his head, eyes coming in contact with an unfamiliar pair of pretty brown ones.

A stiffening silence sauntered over the damp air as the two unfamiliar strangers stared at each other, each one as surprised as the other. The girl sitting in front of him had a mass of curls framing her face, a stark contrast to the pin straight black hair he’d grown so accustomed too.

Her skin glistened almost majestically against the slivers of light peeking from the heavily decorated leaves of the willow tree. Her cheeks were puffed up with food, chopsticks comically sticking from her mouth as little grains of rice littered her cheeks. If the situation wasn’t so dense he would’ve laughed at the girls messily adorable nature.

Her glasses drooped down onto her nose, eyes peeking under the rims of her glasses widened in surprise as she gazed curiously at Hajime.

No one made a move to move, just curious, nervous stares being exchanged. Iwaizumi watched with curiosity as the girl looked between him and her hello kitty bento, a look of ponder washing over her face. Without missing a beat the girl placed her chopsticks on her bento, leaning over rummaging through her bag, which Hajime guessed matched her bento.

A look of relief washed over her face as she held out a neatly wrapped onigiri with both hands stretched out towards Hajime.

Iwaizumi raised an eyebrow in amusement, stepping closer to the girl as she gestured towards the standing male.

“It’s my last one...I was going to save it for later but my mom would probably be mad if she found out I spoiled my dinner for a rice ball..” the girl mumbled out.

Her voice was soft, if you weren’t listening well, it would’ve blended in with the symphony of nature. A small grin stretched over Iwaizumis features as he slowly made his way over to the girl. Her eyes were trained on her lap, her body fidgeting nervously as she waited for Hajime to take the offering.

Iwaizumi huffed an amused breath through his nose as he gently took the warm rice ball from her hands.

“Thanks” he answered shortly, taking his seat directly in front of the girl. She lifted her gaze, a small surprised smile spreading over her face as she bit the inside of her cheek.

“You....you’re Iwaizumi right? We have the same chemistry class together...I normally see you eat lunch out here by yourself, I..I just thought maybe today I could keep you company...” the girl said sweetly. Iwaizumi raised an eyebrow, slowly scanning the mystery girls face.

A panic look washed over her as she defensively waved her hands, eyes widening dramatically.

“I-I’m so sorry! That was p-probably really weird of me to say and I-“

“Calm down” Iwaizumi snickered, barking out a laugh at the girls flustered nature.

“What’s your name?” He asked smoothly, hands working on tearing the plastic film away from the rice ball as he awaited an answer.

The girl pushed her glasses up onto her nose, fingers fiddling together nervously as she cleared her throat.

“Y/n”

[farfromharry]

always | harry holland full series

summary: harry helps your through one of the most challenging times in your life and you couldn’t be more grateful. only for this whole experience to make you realise you were in love with him, but now you had more than just yourself to think about.

word count - 28k

(read individual chapters!)

“I have to go home Harry.” you giggled, trying to pull him towards the door of the house party you were in. He sighed, resting his head on top of yours, swaying you both slowly to the loud, booming music playing in the background. your phone buzzed again in your hand, the vibration alerting you of another text from Nate, and another one that you were going to blatantly ignore.

“ ‘m gonna miss you.” he drunkenly slurred, a giggled bubbling in your throat. you rolled your eyes, practically holding him up.

“Come on, I'm literally taking you home silly.” you had decided on being the designated driver for the night hours ago, right after seeing how harry downed his drink when you got here. you hadn’t particularly felt great all week but harry was so excited about this party, more so that it was for his brothers amazing performance in Spiderman: far from home, and you couldn’t possibly turn down his offer, wanting to support Tom at the same time.

“Do you need some help?” you looked up and made eye contact with Harrison.

“Yes please.” you whined.

With the help of a slightly tipsy Harrison you managed to get Harry into your car, ignoring the now, almost consistent and highly irritating, buzz of your phone. Harry slumped into the passenger seat when you let go of him, laying his head on the window and quickly passing out.

“what am i going to do with you?” you laughed to yourself, looking at your best friend drool on himself like a baby, you clipped his seatbelt into place and closed the door, getting in the driver’s side with a heavy sigh. driving to the large house that the group of lads lived in was a routine for you at this point, you were there with them more often than you were at your own home. This time around though, the short drive was filled with random muttered sentences falling from Harry's mouth every so often, mumbled under his breath in his heavy sleep.

After pulling up outside the house you mentally debated what the best way to get Harry from the car to his bed would be considering he wasn’t going to help. Eventually settling on just having to guide him there with a struggle.

“okay, come on mister, let’s get you to bed.” you hoisted him up out of the car, stumbling slightly as you did so, draping his arm around your shoulder as you led him up to his front door. you unlocked it with your spare key, with much difficulty, and hauled him inside.

“who knew you were this heavy?” you asked rhetorically, closing the door behind you with your foot.

“what are you doing?” you looked up and spotted Sam sitting with his girlfriend in the living room, you smiled sheepishly, ready to apologise for the interruption.

“he’s really drunk, and also really heavy, please help me.” you pouted, your knees basically buckling under Harry’s weight. Sam took pity seeing the drunken Harry cling to you, practically putting all his weight on you, something he knew from experience wasn’t easy to deal with.

Sam wrapped his twin's arm around his shoulder, shooting a quick apology to Elysia, who brushed it off with an amused laugh. 

Sam almost easily helped Harry upstairs, saving you the task of changing him into comfier clothes by doing it himself. leaving you to laugh in the corner at how difficult Harry was making it for his brother. when he was finally done he let out an exhausted sigh, throwing his dirty clothes in the corner of the room.

“thank you for your help.” Sam nodded, leaving you with a quiet ‘good luck.’ you looked at Harry with a sigh, pulling the covers of his bed over him and brushing your hand over his hair.

“y/n?” he slurred, blinking his eyes open just a little.

“hi, what’s up?” he smiled sleepily at you.

“thank you.” you giggled, looking at his half closed pretty eyes.

“of course.” you stroked his hair for a little bit longer than probably needed, making sure he was okay and didn’t need to be sick at all. He watched you the whole time with a lazy smile, nuzzling his head further into your loving touch.

“get some sleep, your heads gonna hurt in the morning.” before you left you made sure to get some painkillers and a glass of water. you placed them on his bedside table, kissing his head, making sure he was okay and asleep before you finally left.

The drive back to your flat was even quieter than the drive to Harry's home, no more drunken jokes from the passenger seat that made you laugh.

Even after pulling up outside your home you still waited in your car, not yet prepared to face your, no doubt, angry boyfriend inside.

After around 10 minutes of putting it off, you took a deep breath, climbing out of your car and heading into your building, greeting the receptionist on your way in. The lift ride up was long and filled with different scenarios of how this night could end, all of them overthought and turning out negatively. You hadn’t even started unlocking the door when it swung open, startling you.

“where the fuck have you been?” Nate yelled before you even stepped through the front door. you flushed in embarrassment at the idea of your neighbours hearing or seeing, shoving past him to make it inside.

“I told you, I was at Tom's party.” he scoffed, throwing his hands in the air dramatically.

“that was hours ago y/n!” you flinched at the loudness of his tone, wishing he would quieten down a bit. “where were you when i started texting you, huh?” 

“I was making sure my best friend got home safe, because he was drunk out of his mind.” he rolled his eyes.

“since when was he your responsibility?” 

“he’s always been my responsibility you arse, literally since we were 10.” you argued. you could almost feel the anger radiating from him, he was seething. You wanted nothing more than to simply just sleep this night away now.

“you know, he acts more like your boyfriend than me, and i am your boyfriend.” you laughed, glaring at him.

“Well that sounds like a you problem, Harry's just being a good friend, maybe you should try and be a better boyfriend once in a while.” he slammed his hands down on the kitchen counter, your eyes snapping to his face in fear.

“he clearly wants to fuck you.” this time it was your turn to scoff.

“no he doesn’t, do you not think he would’ve made a move by now, it’s been 11 years.” you finally snapped and let yourself yell. The argument seemed to go on for hours, back and forth of you defending Harry and him trying to make him sound like a bad person. 

you didn’t even remember how it started by the time it ended, finally having enough of the shit he was saying. the same shit he’d been putting you through since he first met Harry.

“get out of my fucking house.” he stared at you dumbfounded, watching as you pointed to the door.

“what?” you rolled your eyes, moving to your front door and opening it.

“we’re done, get out.” Nate grabbed his jacket forcefully and stomped his way to the door.

“at least you can finally fuck him now.” you knew he was talking about Harry, he always hated how close you both were.

“you’re pathetic Nate.” he left without another word, leaving you to slam the door and think about everything that had just happened. A night that had gone really well, just gone down the drain.

There was a quiet, soft knock on your front door, a groan slipping past your lips as you thought it might’ve been Nate. you pulled it open rather forcefully, only to be met with your neighbours little boy. the 7 year old smiled at you sheepishly.

“hi Theo, what’s up?” you bent down to his height, looking into his brown eyes with confusion.

“me and my mum heard shouting, we just wanted to make sure you were okay.” your heart melted, looking up and making eye contact with his mum, standing in the doorway across the hall. you mouthed a ‘thank you’ and she nodded.

“Was it you and harry?” he asked shyly.

“no, it wasn’t Harry, don’t worry he’ll still come over.” Theo had told you once while you were babysitting him that he loved Harry, the male always told him a joke that’d make his stomach hurt with laughter.

“But I'm okay, thank you Theo.” you ruffled his hair, sending him back to his mum with a wave.

you closed your door and leaned back against it, finally letting some tears fall as you began processing things.

you spent most of the night crying, blaming yourself for everything that happened, even if you knew that wasn’t the case at all.

The next morning, well late morning, there was a knock on your door. you dragged yourself out of bed and didn’t even check before opening, mentally regretting it when you spotted the curly haired male standing in your doorway. you didn’t want him to see you in this state, even if he’d seen you at your worst many times before.

“hey, i just- what’s wrong?” he noticed the tear stains on your cheeks, his heart aching at the thought of you being in any kind of pain.

you walked forwards without a word and buried yourself in his chest, arms around his waist. He stroked your hair, holding you equally as tight as you were holding him.

your stomach growled at you, but not in a hungry way, your eyes widening. you let go of Harry, much to his confusion, and quickly rushed to the bathroom, throwing up everything you’d eaten the night before. the burning pain in your throat forced tears to your eyes, your knees aching from the firm tiled floor.

Harry was there in an instant, holding your hair back so nothing got in the way. His large hand rubbed your back gently, coaxing you through it until you stopped after your stomach was more or less empty. you sat back on your knees once you were done, arms still clutching the bowl in case you felt the nauseating feeling again.

“So, I take it you still don’t feel well?” you shook your head, ignoring the feeling in your gut that told you it was more than a bug.

you flushed the toilet, quickly brushing your teeth and washing your hands, having Harry stare at you through the mirror the whole time. Once you were done you sat back beside him on the floor, shoulders touching to give you any form of comfort.

“why were you crying?” you looked at him from your place on the bathroom floor and let a tear slip from your eye. your eyes stinging from how many tears you’d shed in such a short span of time.

“we broke up.” Harry frowned, pushing away the happy feeling in the pit of his stomach.

“what happened?” you let out a loud sob, harry ignoring the pounding headache he had from his hangover to tend to you.

“awe love, it’s okay, always thought he was an arsehole.” you stifled a laugh, wiping your cheeks and looking at him.

“he was just, he didn’t like you, and you’re so important to me.” Harry smiled sympathetically.

“I'm sorry, i didn’t mean to-“ you shushed him, shaking your head.

“i’d rather have you in my life than him.” a few moments of silence passed by as Harry thought deeply about what you said.

“can we cuddle?” you asked quietly, almost scared to ask, snapping him out of his daze. Harry nodded, helping you up off the floor and guiding you to your room.

the two of you got under the unmade, crisp white covers on your bed, your head resting on his chest and your arms around his waist. you were silent for a while, just happy to be laying there in his warmth with harry’s fingers running through your hair. at some point you ended up falling asleep, a smile breaking out on Harry's face. He knew you probably didn’t get much sleep last night from the bags under your eyes, so he was glad he could provide you with enough comfort to do that for you.

you woke up to Harry shifting, sitting up in your bed. you groaned, trying to fall back to sleep, finding it almost impossible now Harry’s body heat was gone.

“where are you going?” you grumbled.

“i have to go, i’m sorry.” you pouted, harry placing a kiss to your head as he slipped his shoes on.

“are you sure you’re gonna be okay without me?” you nodded, flashing him a smile.

“if you need me, at any point just call me, any time okay?” you nodded again. you quickly pulled him into a hug, thanking him for helping you.

“i’ll see you soon.”

“bye Harry.” you frowned as you watched him leave, hearing your front door close a few seconds later. you closed your eyes again, willing yourself to go to sleep, prepared to sleep the rest of the day away as a distraction. 

after being unable to fall asleep you groaned loudly, angrily tossing one of your pillows across your room, not caring what you knocked over.

“what a fucking day.” 

“i missed you so much, where have you been all week, are you okay?” he rambled. it’d been a week since your breakup with Nate, and a week since you had broken down to Harry on your bathroom floor. You had gone slightly MIA but Harry has given you your space like he knew you needed.

So when you texted him, asking him to come over out of nowhere, he happily complied, walking into your flat with a loud ‘honey, i’m home,’ which you greatly appreciated.

you practically threw yourself in his arms when you saw him, leading you to where you were currently.

Harry clinged to you, his arms around your neck and his cheek mushed against yours. This is how he was trying to convince you to come to the pub with him and his friends, his methods not seeming to work on you at all, much to his dismay, and yours because he didn’t tell you he already had plans.

“are you sure you don’t want to come?” you nodded your head, turning around to face him with a small smile. you hugged his waist tightly, hiding your face in his chest.

“we can wait for you to get ready.” his eyes were pleading with you, just wanting to spend time with his favourite girl, but you knew he’d understand.

“I still don’t feel good, ‘m sorry.” he nodded, placing a friendly kiss to your forehead.

“s’okay, i understand.” 

“maybe another time.” he nodded.

“Am I okay to come here after?” you nodded, flashing him a smile. He thanked you, saying one last goodbye before leaving your flat to go and meet his friends. you sighed loudly when he was out of the door, grabbing your phone off the sofa and pulling up one of your contacts that you knew you could trust with your life.

“hello?” she asked.

“hi um, do you think you could come over, i really need you right now.” you received an ‘of course’ and a promise of her being no longer than 10 minutes. In that short amount of time you did your best to tidy up your living room as best as you could, giving up halfway after realising she wouldn’t care after you told her what was wrong.

a knock on your door startled you, even though you were expecting it, opening it to see Nikki standing there concerned.

“what’s happened hun?” you collapsed into her arms with a cry, her hands coming up to stroke your hair as she tried to calm you down.

Nikki had been like a mum to you ever since you met Harry many years ago. always helping you with things and secretly rooting for you and Harry to get together; not that she’d tell you both that though.

Nikki instructed you to breathe deeply, the flow of your tears slowly coming to a halt.

“what’s wrong?” you took a deep breath, looking into her eyes as more tears built up.

“i think i’m pregnant.” even if Nikki was shocked, she tried to hide it for your sake, knowing being calm in this situation would be more comforting.

“you stay here darling, i’ll go buy some tests and we’ll figure this out together.” you thanked her, offering some money that she straight up refused before she left. 

Being alone meant you were thinking deeply about your current situation, absolutely scared to death. you were only 21, recently single and had no idea how you mother a child. it’s safe to say you were panicking massively.

thankfully Nikki was back in no time, handing you a bag and tightly clasping your hands in hers.

“so just, go into the bathroom, take a few of these and i’ll wait with you for the results, okay?” you nodded slowly, trying to process all the information at once. you did as she said, taking a few of the tests and setting them on your bathroom counter, letting her in afterwards to sit with you.

you sat on the edge of your bathtub, nikki’s arm around you while your head rested on her shoulder.

“there’s lots of options if you are pregnant, we can sort this sweetheart.” you nodded, tearing up again.

“i’m so scared.” she placed a kiss on your head, just like Harry had done earlier, stroking your arm to comfort you.

“i know, but it’s all going to be okay.” Those 2 minutes were the scariest minutes of your life. they seemed to last an eternity. when the timer on your phone finally went off you took a deep breath, pushing yourself up and moving over to the counter.

“you got this.” you encouraged yourself. you looked at the test, seeing the two pink lines that made you let out a sob. Nikki came up behind you and pulled you into her arms, glancing at the tests to see what you were crying at, even though she could’ve taken a guess for herself.

she stayed to comfort you for a while, promising she’d leave before Harry arrived so you could tell

him in private. She got you a hot drink and a warm blanket, helping you relax on the sofa, wiping any remnants of any tears away.

After Nikki left, you couldn’t force yourself to even get up from the couch, not even to go to the bathroom or put your mug down, sitting and just thinking about everything. 

your door unlocking caught your attention, Harry entering with a smile, walking in a near straight line, which meant he was mostly sober.

“hey.” you hummed in response, watching as he made himself at home, collapsing on the couch next to you. 

“how was your night?” he asked, unknowingly. you thought about how to answer, knowing this wasn’t the right way to tell him the news. you’d get there soon enough.

“strange, how was yours?” Harry’s eyes lit up as he threw his arm around you. For the next half an hour he ranted and laughed about the multiple things that had happened with his friends on this ‘crazy’ night out. He reiterated some of the jokes, managing to make you quietly laugh at times, but you nodded along anyway, only partly listening.

“Harry.” he didn’t even notice you had mumbled his name.

“it was hilarious, i wish you’d have come, you wo-“ 

“i’m pregnant.” the words died off on his tongue. his eyes widened and he looked at you in a mix of confusion and fear.

“what?” he asked, hoping he’d heard you wrong.

“i’m pregnant.” you didn’t even try to hold back this wave of tears, Harry taking the empty mug from you and placing it on the table before letting you bury your face in his hoodie, letting all of your emotions out. He wrapped his arms around you, stroking your back as your heart wrenching sobs filled his ears.

“how?” he asked.

“i-i don’t know, we always used protection.” he grimaced, hating picturing the idea of you having sex with Nate. however he pushed that to the back of his mind to focus on you in the moment.

“I need to tell him, don’t i?” he shook his head.

“no, if you think it’s best he doesn’t know, then don’t feel like you have to say anything.” he brushed some loose hair behind your ears, wiping your tears with his thumb.

“i know you probably don’t want to, especially not with the way things ended but-“

“he has a right to know.” as much as it pained him, he nodded. you picked up your phone from the coffee table, pulling up the contact you thought you’d never have to dial again.

“should i call him?”

“It's whatever you think is best, I'll give you some privacy.” you thanked him, although you weren’t sure you even wanted him to leave.

“hey.” Harry couldn’t help but feel protective over you after what had happened with Nate, not even a week and a half ago. so even though he knew he probably shouldn’t have, he stood in the doorway of the kitchen, listening just to make sure you were okay.

When Harry re-entered the room a while later, he noticed you sitting in the same position you were in when he left.

“what happened?” you looked up at him and sighed.

“said he’s not ready to be a dad, blamed it all on me pretty much.” Harry scoffed, throwing his hands up in exasperation.

“do i need to beat the shit out of him, cause I will.” you laughed, shaking your head. 

“you couldn’t hurt a fly.” he gasped in offense.

“that is not true.” he let you lay your head on his shoulder, throwing some of the fluffy blanket over his lap so the two of you could cuddle together. 

“I think you’d be a great mum, you know.” he said, out of nowhere. 

“really?” you asked insecurely, receiving a confirming nod. you smiled and nuzzled your cheek deeper into his chest, fighting off sleep so you could finish your conversation.

“how come?” his fingers in your hair paused their movements, a whine of protest coming from you.

“I've seen how you are with Theo, how protective you get over Paddy, it comes naturally to you.” 

“that really means a lot, thank you Harry.” your eyes had teared up at some point in the conversation, your heart warming knowing your favourite person thought you’d succeed in this.

“always.”

For the next few days, Harry had been spending time at his family home, wanting to bond with his twin for a little bit after not seeing him for a while. you didn’t mind in the slightest, except you were starting to get lonely, missing your curly headed friend, more than you’d be willing to admit to his face.

So when you received a text Friday night telling you Sam was going out, you instantly took that as an invitation to come over. Although you probably shouldn’t have been so quick to assume, you just missed his freckled face.

So that’s where you ended up, knocking on Harry’s door after 3 or 4 days of not seeing him, as well as the week after your breakup too, knocking on his door.

“i feel like all we’ve said to each other these past few days is i miss you.” he rambled as he opened the door. you thought about it before nodding your head.

“you’re right, but I did miss you though.” you confirmed.

“missed you too.” he kissed your head, letting you follow him to the kitchen where he already had your food for the night set out.

“got you your favourite.”

“you’re an angel, sir.” you sat down across from him.

“with the way you’re eating, you look like the pregnant one.” you joked, taking note of his cramped plate. Harry ended up cracking another joke on top of yours that had you both bursting into laughter.

After the laughter died down there was an uncomfortable silence lingering in the air, one that neither you or Harry were used to when it came to each other. Of course you didn’t want to say anything, worried it was all in your head and you’d offend the male if you said anything.

However, you didn’t have time to ponder that thought for long, Harry practically reading your mind for you.

“this is weird right?” he asked. you nodded.

“why does this feel so awkward?” you asked, Harry's head snapping up and a blush coating his cheeks.

“i-i don’t know how to act around you now you’re pregnant.” he admitted.

“seriously?” you asked with a laugh. Harry’s embarrassment getting worse.

“I'm still me, Harry, just can’t drink alcohol anymore.” Harry took a deep breath and nodded, rising from his chair and heading to his fridge.

“Guess I'll have to drink for both of us then.” he winked and you rolled your eyes, watching him pop open a beer and instantly taking a gulp.

“you’re so mean.”

“What did i do?” he teased, a smirk on his lips.

“rubbing it in that i can’t drink.” you pouted, Harry laughing when glancing at your sad eyes.

“I mean, you came to see me, can’t really complain now.” you rolled your eyes.

“i’m actually only here for paddy.” Harry gasped, feigning offense.

“you don’t mean that.” you heard the front door open, Nikki and Paddy’s voices echoing through the hallway. Paddy practically ran to you when he saw you, wrapping his arms around you in a hug.

“oh, but i do.” 

After Paddy had left the kitchen, claiming he was going to play some game with his friends, Nikki made her way over to you, surveying the mess Harry had made while eating and scoffing at her son.

“how have you made such a mess Harry?” he looked at his mum sheepishly, shrugging his shoulders, being let off with an eye roll.

“and how’s the mother to be?” you smiled at Nikki, accepting her side hug.

“hungry.” you whined, eyeing part of Harry’s food that you’d been dying to try.

“you’ve got enough food to feed four of you Harry, you’re never gonna eat all that, let her have some.” she hit him up the side of the head, making you giggle as he looked almost offended at his mum’s betrayal. He glared at you playfully, ignoring your innocent smile as you stole some of his food off his plate.

“thank you Harry.” you teased. He mimicked you, a snort leaving your mouth that then made Harry laugh loudly. the two of you ate with minimal conversation, both of you seeming almost equally as hungry, despite only one of you being pregnant, which you definitely kept teasing your best friend about.

“d’you wanna watch a film?” you shook your head.

“I should be getting home, I have work tomorrow.” Harry pouted, stating that he just wasn’t going to let you leave him.

“i have to go, ‘m sorry.” you kissed his cheek, grabbing your jacket off of the back of your chair.

“just promise we can hang out again soon.”

“we will.”

“I mean really soon miss.” you nodded.

“of course.” you slipped on your shoes and placed your hand over your belly, out of a new habit you’d developed rather quickly. Harry noticed, smiling at you as you already began proving his point of how good of a mum you’d be.

“thank you for tonight, i really appreciated the distraction.” you said, hugging his waist tightly.

“it’s my pleasure, but at least let me drive you home.” you shook your head, denying his offer.

“I'm fine Harry, I'm pregnant, not dead.” he rolled his eyes.

“I just worry about you.” he whined.

“i know, but i’m a big girl.” 

“whatever.” he wrapped his arm around your shoulders, finally agreeing to let you go. 

“goodbye harry, i love you.” you sang. He shook his head in amusement.

“i love you too, and i’ll see you soon.” you waved before heading to your car, a content feeling in your stomach as you thought about tonight’s events.

“the things you do to me Harry Holland.” 

“you ready to go?” he asked. You nodded, grabbing your jacket and slipping it on before heading out to his car.

“Are you nervous?” he asked, taking his eyes off the road for a quick second to glance at you. you shook your head.

“ ‘m really excited, I just want to see them.” he smiled, loving to see your excitement. The rest of the journey to the doctors was rather silent, except for the quiet hum of the radio in the background and Harry’s occasional humming to the songs.

“and we’re here.” you practically squealed, startling Harry. He was unsure if he’d ever seen you this excited for something, ever. especially at an early time like 10am; early for you at least.

“come on, hurry up.” Harry huffed and locked his car, following behind you as you almost ran inside the building.

Harry had to calm you down while you sat in the doctor's room on the small, plush bed, your leg was bouncing in anticipation and your smile was wide as you tried to suppress it.

“i’m so excited.” you announced, Harry grinning and taking your hand in his.

“me too, can’t wait to see your little munchkin.” your heart grew, hearing Harry say that practically made you realise this was real, you were going to have a mini you.

The doctor entered, introducing herself and explaining how this all works. She asked you to lift up your shirt and you followed her instruction, holding your hand out to Harry afterwards.

“this might be cold.” you giggled at the cold sensation of the gel on your stomach. She started to move the device around your stomach, searching for the heartbeat. you bit your bottom lip in anticipation, squeezing Harry’s hand.

“and there they are, that little plum there is them.” you melted, tears welling in your eyes as you listened to their heartbeat.

you looked over at Harry who was sitting in shock, completely amazed that that little one was growing inside of you.

“that’s incredible.” you nodded, watching Harry’s face in awe, studying his grin and sparkling eyes. The appointment was quickly over after that, taking your sonogram picture and scheduling another appointment for a few weeks in advance.

“i still can’t believe it's real.” Harry nodded, his gaze still scanning over your ultrasound, gently running his thumb over it with a smile.

“i’m so proud of you, you know.” you blushed, his arm slinging over your shoulder.

“really?” he nodded.

“you’re going to be an amazing, beautiful, incredible mum and i can’t wait to see your little bub.” you awed, thanking him with a warm feeling in your stomach.

“thank you.” 

After arriving home, you and Harry made breakfast/lunch that you didn’t have before you left and watched a film to pass time.

Later that day, you had to start getting ready for the meal with the Hollands, + Harrison of course.

you showered, letting Harry take one too before spending an eternity trying to pick out a dress to wear. Harry would give his occasional input, a quick yes or no every so often, neither of which were very helpful.

“this one?” you held up a pretty baby blue dress that’d make you look like the depiction of an angel. the dress would cup your small bump perfectly, flowing out towards the bottom.

“i think it’s perfect.”

“really?” you asked, turning to look at him over your shoulder.

“definitely.” you decided to trust your best friend, moving into the bathroom to slip the dress on. you took a quick look at yourself in the mirror, unsure if this felt right to you. When you stepped out back into your room Harry made it very clear that it was perfect.

“you look amazing.” you blushed, thanking him and moving to stand in your mirror. Harry flashed you a silly grin as you looked over the dress a few times, looking at different angles to try and see if your opinion would change.

“are you sure i look okay?” Harry looked over your dress one more time, the silly grin still painted on his face.

“you look gorgeous, and your little belly looks adorable.” you rolled your eyes, turning to the side to look at your swollen tummy. it was barely there, being so early on in your pregnancy, but still noticeable in the tight bit of the dress you’d chosen.

“come on, let’s go before you change, again.” He took your hand, lacing your fingers together and practically dragging you out to his car, timed almost perfectly so that you’d arrive on time for the dinner with his family.

Harry huffed as your leg continued to bounce on the floor of the car, placing his hand on your knee to steady it. you looked at him and from that look alone he could tell you were overthinking the entire night already.

“are you worried?” you hesitantly nodded.

“why are you so worried?” he laughed. Once the car was stable in the car park of the restaurant, he pulled you into his side over the console in his car. “you see my family all the time.” 

“I know but, only your mum actually knows I'm pregnant, they haven’t seen the bump yet.” you we’re definitely still trying to adjust to your belly, however you practically always had a hand on it. Harry frowned, cupping your cheek so you’d look at him.

“do you think they’re going to judge you?” he asked quietly. you sighed.

“i don’t know, but what if they think i’m stupid for going through with this.” he shook his head.

“they would never.” he reached over and laced your fingers together, gently squeezing your hand in reassurance.

“what if this dress was a mistake, it only highlights it and-“ he shook his head again.

“you look beautiful, heck you're practically glowing y/n.” your heart melted, admiring the man sitting in the driver’s seat.

“i think they love you more than me at times.” you laughed, looking at him with a smile. “so you have nothing to worry about.”

“thank you, i really hope so.” Harry, being the gentleman he is, got out of his side of the car, coming over and opening your door for you.

“what an angel.”

“what can i say?” he shrugged with a laugh. the two of you walked into the restaurant and searched for the other hollands. Harry pointed them out and placed his hand on your lower back, gently guiding you over to the table.

“y/n, it’s so lovely to see you.” you hugged Nikki tightly.

“look at you.” she admired your bump like a proud mother, even though that’s basically what she was anyway.

“woah y/n, since when have you-“ Sam motioned to your belly, a giggle leaving your lips.

“almost 3 months, i actually went for a scan this morning.” his eyes widened. 

“Do you have the picture?” he asked, his eyes turning into puppy dog eyes. you nodded, pulling out your phone to show Sam the picture you’d taken of your sonogram, the one you’d sent to your parents as a way of announcing you were pregnant.

“have i really not noticed?” 

“I’ve barely started showing you idiot.” you laughed, letting him pull you into a hug. you hugged paddy next, the boy cracking a few jokes about how he was taller than you now and of course a congratulations on the baby. 

Harry pulled a chair out for you, thanking him before you sat down next to Sam, Harry on the other side.

“where’s everyone else?” Harry asked, looking at the empty seats on the end of the table.

“they’re on their way.” he nodded, the table breaking out into light conversation. 

Not too much later you saw Paddy’s head perk up, spotting his brother and his brother’s best friend entering the restaurant. you found it adorable how excited he got to see his brother, even after only a few days of not seeing him.

“the party has arrived.” Tom announced, a laugh coming from you and Sam. Harrison was first to practically bear hug you after you stood up, noticing your belly with furrowed eyebrows.

“woah-“

“i know.” you smiled. He offered you congratulations, Tom giving you the same shocked look when he hugged you.

“no, you aren’t allowed to grow up.” he whined. Tom had been like your older brother since you’d met Harry, always ridiculously overprotective of you, even if you could sort the situation out yourself.

“don’t worry, you can be the favourite uncle.” you whispered. Tom grinned happily.

“I would've been anyway, be realistic.” you laughed, nodding your head.

“seriously though, congrats y/n.” you smiled.

“thank you.” he gave you another quick hug before pulling Paddy into a bro hug.

The dinner went by better than you thought it would. no one mentioned your pregnancy, which you were very happy about, and overall you had fun.

“you okay?” Harry asked as you were leaving the restaurant.

“ ‘m tired.” you mumbled, resting your head on his arm.

“want me to take you home?” you nodded. He led you to his car, helping you into the passenger seat. you smiled, his actions reminding you of him on the night of Tom’s party.

Upon arriving at your flat you were almost passed out, meaning Harry would have to carry you upstairs and to your bed.

Much to your surprise he did so without complaint or struggle, hoisting you into his arms, bridal style. Your arms wrapped around his neck, keeping you secure in his hold, the fear that he’d drop you lingering in the back of your mind.

“please don’t drop me.” you murmured, Harry picking it up and laughing.

“I won't, I promise.” he always thought you were adorable when you were half asleep. You lost the ability to filter what you were saying, making the randomest of comments that always made him let out a giggle.

“and you’re home.” you cheered sleepily, making Harry smile as he carried you to your bedroom. He gently laid you down on your bed, turning around to grab some pyjamas from your dresser.

“can you change or do you need my help?” you shook your head, confusing Harry.

“too tired.” he sighed, asking if it was okay for him to take your dress off, you complied, letting him pull the fabric over your head exposing your underwear to him.

even though it was nothing he hadn’t seen before, being friends for so long, he still blushed, trying to slip the shirt on over your head.

you protested, moving your hands to the clasp on your bra as you tried to blindly remove it.

“w-what are you doing?” Harry’s eyes widened.

“can’t sleep with it on.” he gulped, nodding hesitantly as you peeled the fabric off of your body, exposing your bare chest to him. Harry did his best to avert his eyes, his face blushing a deep shade of red as he slipped his old shirt over your body.

“there you go.”

“thank you.” you mumbled, climbing under the covers of your bed and quickly getting comfy. It didn’t take you long at all to begin drifting in and out of a light sleep, Harry checking you were okay before he left for the night.

“goodnight y/n.” you hummed, pushing your face into your pillow, too far gone to even attempt a response, Harry chuckled, turning off your bedroom light and leaving your apartment.

Harry was back in his home in no longer than half an hour, taking a seat in the living room after grabbing a drink from the fridge, with both Tom and Harrison’s eyes on him in an instant.

“what?” he asked, confused.

“where have you been?” 

“i took y/n home?” he said slowly, unsure what they were getting at.

“and how’s it going between you two?” Harrison hinted. Harry rolled his eyes, flipping them off and taking a swig of his beer.

“come on, Harry you’ve been in love with her since you were 14, just tell her already.” Tom ranted.

“yeah, you’re both single, why not?” Harrison added.

“Now is definitely not the right time, she’s got more important things to deal with.” Tom sighed, he’d been encouraging his younger brother to make his move for years, seeing how perfect you both were for each other, but he always respected Harry’s decision. just like he would now.

“Harry, i do think it’s really awesome what you’re doing though.” he cocked his head, not sure what his older brother meant.

“that you’re helping her with this, it’s really brave.” he smiled, glancing down at his lap, his cheeks flushing a bright pink.

“well, Nate left her and I didn't want her to feel like she’d been completely abandoned.” he started. “i was never going to let her do this by herself, she’s my best friend.” both Tom and Harrison could hear the hesitance in his voice when he said ‘best friend.’ everyone that looked at the pair could see they were silently begging to be more, they’d been in love for years and were way to blind to see it.

“well you’re doing good.” Harry thanked his brother, glancing up at him with a smile.

Harry was going to help you through this, just like your best friend should do.

As the months passed, rather too quickly for your liking, Nikki was completely set on taking you baby shopping. Practically dragging you out with her, and unfortunately for him, making Harry come to.

You were currently browsing through some baby clothes with Nikki, your hand on your 6 month bump. Harry was god knows where, having separated from you two a while ago, saying something about finding baby clothes with good taste.

“What about that one?” She motioned towards a simple dark blue onesie and with a simple nod of your head it was in your basket.

“Y/n!” Harry whisper yelled. You looked around until you saw him, meeting his eyes from a distance with a confused expression. “look how cute this is.” He pointed to a little onesie that looked like a duck, an eye roll coming from you.

“Put it back Harry.” You giggled, watching the boy pout adorably.

“But-“

“No.” You shook your head, the boy shuffling over to you sadly. He rested his chin on your shoulder, arms going around you to sprawl his hands on your growing belly. Harry was obsessed with your belly, and luckily for him, he was one of the only people you felt comfortable letting touch your bump. He would often hold your belly or talk to it, or rub your back for you if it was hurting. His actions only made you fall deeper in love with him, something that scared you, but something that was also quite amazing to you.

Harry continued to goof around, intent on buying practically all the teddy bears he could find.

“Harry, stop.” You laughed, taking another silly onesie out of your basket and putting it back.

“Listen, i was promised food if i came and-“ You giggled.

“You’ll get food, just, after we’re done.” He huffed, turning to his mum to pester her like a child.

“If i let you get the duck onesie, will you stop?” He nodded his head, a grin forming on his lips.

“fine, go get it.” He almost squealed, rushing back down the aisles to grab it. He came back and you couldn’t help giggling at Nikki’s unimpressed face, snatching the onesie off of him to place in the basket and move on.

“You’re an idiot, Harry.” He gasped, feigning offense at your words.

“Harry junior would never treat me like this.” You rolled your eyes as he knelt down and hugged your belly.

“Harry junior?” He nodded, confidently.

“Not a chance.” You laughed, pushing his head away from you playfully.

“Come on kids.” Nikki mumbled in her motherly voice, trying to motion for you two to stop messing around.

“I’m hungry.” Harry whined again, probably for the hundredth time.

Nikki eventually grew sick of his whining, asking if you had everything you needed. You paid for your items and then decided your next stop was going to be to get Harry some food. He practically cheered at the news, acting like a child on christmas.

“You’re so weird.” He rolled his eyes, turning this back on you.

“Don’t even try and tell me baby’s not excited to eat.” He pointed to your belly accusingly, a sheepish smile covering your face.

“Hey, I'm feeding 2 people, what’s your excuse?” Nikki laughed at your childish bickering, shaking her head at you both. She couldn’t help but notice the soulmate connection between you again, just wondering when the news was finally going to come out.

After grabbing some food, Nikki dropped you off back home, getting Harry to help you take the bags of baby things inside.

“I’ll see you soon.” He gave you a quick but firm hug, kissing your head and waving goodbye. You waved as the two drove away, going inside and deciding on unpacking the things to start and put away.

The nursery currently wasn’t done, you had a few boxes with stuffed toys and things in and some with baby clothes in, just until you could guilt trip your best friend into helping you set everything up.

You moved to stand in front of the mirror you had sitting in the corner of the almost empty room. You cupped your growing belly and turned to the side, grinning slightly.

“I can’t wait to meet you.” You spoke quietly. “You’re g’na be so loved, so spoiled by the Holland boys.” You giggled. You jolted lightly when you felt a slight kick near where your hand lay.

“Can you hear me, hear mummy talking to you?” You gushed, eyes beginning to water. 

You’d heard from the nurse that it was a good idea to try talking to the baby, just to try and create that bond early on.

After getting that reaction from them, you ended up making sure to make time at least once a day until the end of your pregnancy, to just say hello.

“Hello, baby.”

<<<<>>>>

A few days after baby shopping with Nikki, you were practically begging all your close friends to stop with the baby gifts, reassuring them you had enough toys and clothes to last them a lifetime. Admittedly Tom and Sam had been the worst of the holland’s for it, so far at least, shocking you that it wasn’t Harry. Tom bombarded you with spiderman themed items, which was expected by you all.

So when Harry showed up in your flat, announcing he’d bought something else for your little bub, you couldn’t help rolling your eyes.

“Okay so, i know you said no more baby things but, i couldn’t help myself.” You groaned, throwing your head back as Harry made himself known in your flat. He found you sitting on a kitchen chair at the island, eating random pregnancy cravings you had, of which he found utterly disgusting. 

“What did you do?” He pulled out a small bag from behind his back, placing it on the counter and pulling out a small stuffed bear that replicated a tiny captain america, shield and all.

“Harry-“

“I know what you said, but I saw it and I know he’s your favourite.” He pouted, handing you the bear with a small smile. You grinned against your will, pulling him into a hug as a thank you.

“But this is the last one okay, no more baby things.” He nodded, giving you his pinky to promise. Harry watched as your body suddenly jumped, hand shifting to your belly with an excited smile.

“What’s wrong?”

“Come here.” You summoned him over, placing his hand on your stomach where you’d just felt your bub move.

“What am i-“ His sentence was cut short when he felt a weak kick against his palm, his eyes shooting to yours with tears brimming on his waterline.

“Was that-“

“She’s kicking.” Harry grinned, the news flying right over his head. it took a few minutes to register until his eyes finally snapped to yours.

“wait, she?” You nodded, tears now slipping down your cheeks.

“Found out this morning.” You explained.

“you’re having a little girl.” He was in awe. He wrapped his arms around you, nuzzling his face in your neck.

“congrats y/n.” You and Harry talked for a while, mainly about baby name ideas. He recommended some names he thought were pretty, your heart warming at how involved he wanted to be with your little girl.

“what about-“ He began, before you cut him off.

“Harry, you’ve said so many names I've already forgotten the first ones.” He smiled sheepishly, apologising for overwhelming you.

“s’okay, but we’ve got plenty of time to decide, don’t worry.” He nodded. “but, i do need you to help me set up the nursery.” you smiled. 

“is this weekend okay?” You nodded.

“I can set up some furniture but I need help paint-“ He stopped you mid sentence.

“You aren’t doing anything, I'll get tom and sam to help, you just rest your pretty little self.” you rolled your eyes as your cheeks flushed a light pink shade, trying to brush off Harry’s sneaky compliment like it was nothing.

“We’ll get her room looking fit for a little princess.” 

“A spoiled little princess.” Harry rolled his eyes sassily.

“Obviously, she now has 4 uncles that are ready to spoil her.” He argued.

“Yeah, yeah.” You laughed. 

“Have you told anyone else?” You shook your head no, Harry’s eyes lighting up with a cheeky smirk.

“So I found out first?” You shushed him, pushing his shoulder. “I’m honoured, especially to know I'm your favourite.”

“I’ve told you before, Paddy’s my favourite.” He grumbled something under his breath about his brother that you didn’t hear, claiming it was nothing when you threatened to snitch on him.

“That’s what i thought, big man.” Harry’s face suddenly lit up, telling you he had an idea for something.

“Can we surprise the others with the gender?” He looked like a puppy, your heart melting. You couldn’t say no to him like that, so you nodded, Harry getting straight to how each one could go.

<<<<>>>>

You spent the next few days surprising the Holland family with the announcement of your babygirl, trying to do it discreetly. Starting with Nikki and Dom first.

“So, I have some news, but in order to break it to you-“ You motioned to Harry who was holding a box with two donuts. They were coated in pink icing, one having the words ‘it’s a’ written on in red, while the other had ‘girl.’

They took them with a thank you, Harry placing his hand on your shoulder as a good luck wish.

Your heart sank when Dom took a bite of the donut without reading it, fearing your plan had failed.

“What’s your news, y/n?” Nikki asked, smiling up at you.

“I was going to say read the donuts, but that might not work anymore.” She glanced down and read hers.

“It’s a?” You nodded. Her eyes widened when she realised what you meant. “The baby's gender?” You nodded again.

“What does yours say?” She asked her husband, quite frantically. Seeing as he’d already eaten most of his, it wasn’t very noticeable what the word had been. However, after seeing a still intact ‘G’, she was able to decipher it.

“You’re having a girl?” She asked, tearfully.

“I’m having a girl.” You confirmed, letting her pull you into a hug. She said a ‘congratulations’ into your ear, kissing your head temple as she pulled away.

“I’m so happy for you.” 

You hoped that Sam and Paddy hadn’t already heard the news from downstairs. Going up to Sam’s room, Harry asking Paddy to come and join you all.

“I have an announcement about baby.” Both sets of eyes were now on you, focused and listening.

“So boys.” you started. “You might need to put these on actually.” 

You pulled 2 baby sized shirts from behind your back, handing them over with a giggle. Sam read his first, his eyes widening upon seeing ‘favourite niece.’

“Really?”

“Yeah.” You confirmed. Paddy still hadn’t got what was going on, reading over the words ‘prettiest princess.’ 

“C-can someone explain?” Harry chuckled at his younger brother and wrapped his arm around his shoulders.

“She’s having a girl, Pads.” Harry explained, realisation and a wave of emotions hitting him square in the face.

“We’re so proud of you.” Sam held onto you tightly, flashing his twin a sneaky look over his shoulder.

“Thank you.” You pulled back and hugged Paddy, the boy congratulating you and assuring you that they’d be spoiling her as soon as they could.

Tom and Harrison were next after finding them both in the house.

You wanted to give Tom the most difficult task, blowing up a balloon that told you ‘it’s a girl.’

“I need you to blow this up.” You handed him the packet with the balloon inside, a groan coming from him. He begrudgingly started to blow up the balloon, his face becoming red as he slowly became out of breath.

“Holy shit!” Harrison shouted, seeing the writing on the side, even before it was fully intact.

Tom looked at it and jumped up from the couch.

“I knew it!” Tom announced, a wide grin on his face as he hugged you tightly, he swayed you both slowly, his excitement getting the best of him.

“I can’t wait to be her favourite.” You rolled your eyes, letting Harry and Tom start that debate while getting a hug from Harrison.

“Congrats y/n.”

“Thank you, Haz.” 

You spent the rest of the day by Harry’s side, the two of you fantasizing about what your baby girl’s going to be like, and you thought it was perfect.

The knock on your front door startled you, pulling your attention from the tv show you were watching. You turned the tv off, jumping up from your couch and opening it to find your best friend standing there in what he called, his ‘best painting clothes.’

“What do you think?” He motioned to his overalls and plain hoodie he was wearing, posing like he was being photographed in a photo shoot.

“You’re so weird.” He scoffed, closing your door behind him and stepping into your flat.

“You didn’t answer my question.” He said.

“What question?” You asked.

“Do you like my outfit?” You rolled your eyes when he started posing obnoxiously again. You looked at his outfit up and down and gave him a tight lipped smile.

“It looks great.” He squinted his eyes at you, unsure if you were joking or if you actually hated it.

“Also, shoes off, looks like you’ve been stood in mud for hours.” With a huff he began unlacing his shoes, leaving them by the front door.

“What if i just like jumping in mud?” He asked sassily. “Are you really going to judge me for my interests?” 

“Okay, peppa pig, i’m just saying, no mud on my floors.” You pointed your finger at him, watching him laugh as he pieced together your tv reference.

“That was a good one.” He commented.

“Thank you, I’m honoured.” You led him down the hall, opening the door to your cluttered nursery with a sigh.

“Here we are, voila.” You motioned your arms towards the very disappointing room, seeing Harry’s face drop.

“Very anticlimactic.” You rolled your eyes, punching his shoulder.

“Shut up.” You handed him a clean paint brush, taking another one out for yourself while Harry opened the lid of the paint bucket.

“What are you doing?” He asked, pointing to the paintbrush in your hand.

“Currently, nothing.”

“You aren’t painting, you’re going to sit down on your cute butt and watch.” He demanded. You stared at him in amazement.

“I’m not dying Harry, I can still do things.” He shook his head.

It had eventually taken a lot of convincing on your part to persuade Harry to let you assist him in painting the nursery. You were going on almost half an hour now.

“I can do bits, come on, i’ll take a break if i really need to.” He sighed. You’d been bugging him about it since he started almost an hour ago, the males patience wearing thin.

“Promise?” He asked, holding his pinky in your direction. Your eyes lit up, wrapping your much smaller pinky around his.

“Promise.” You confirmed, a small smirk on your face.

“Grab a paintbrush.” You squealed, Harry certain you almost burst his ear drums.

“I’ve never seen someone so excited to paint.” You pushed his shoulder, gathering some of the light coloured paint on your brush and beginning to paint the same wall as Harry, just at the opposite side. You were working well together, music from one of his many playlists playing out of his phone, creating a calm atmosphere in the room. 

You had helped paint at least one wall by the time your feet started to ache, finding it painful to stay on your feet much longer. Harry heard your uncomfortable grumbles and stared you down until you turned to look at him.

“Do you need a break?” He asked. You nodded your head, giving in, cupping your large belly and sitting down on the floor, although that was a tiring task in itself. You watched Harry work for a little while, asking him to help you up after your feet felt better. He grabbed both of your hands in his, pulling you up towards him until you were on your feet.

“Thank you.” Before resuming your painting, you waddled to your kitchen to get you both some drinks, coming back and making Harry take just a quick break.

“Think this will be done today?” He stood back and observed the progress you’d made already, one full wall down, only 2 and a half more to go.

“Possibly, if you stop slacking.” Your jaw dropped, Harry laughing as you stood there shocked.

“Well two can play at that game, Holland.” You dipped your hand into the paint bucket, moving over to Harry and placing your hand right on his cheek. 

“Y/n!” He yelled, watching as you doubled over in laughter. His mind wandered from his painted cheek and he started to see the funny side of it, deciding on getting his own back.

It ended up being a full blown paint war between you two, both of you ending up covered in paint, giggling to yourselves like children.

“You can clean this up.” You told him.

“Why me, you started it!” You grinned.

“I’m the pregnant one, and i’m gonna go shower.” You placed a teasing kiss on the one spot on his cheek that wasn’t splattered with paint. “Enjoy.” 

Harry shook his head, chuckling to himself as you waddled away.

“Crafty lady.” He muttered under his breath.

<<<<>>>>

“Oh wow, you clean up nice.” You teased, throwing him a wink.

After your shower, you felt completely refreshed, especially not being covered in cakes of paint anymore. You slipped into comfy clothes and stalked your way back to the nursery, where you were currently looking at a spotless room, yet a still painted Harry. It looked almost as if there wasn’t a paint fight here only hours before.

“I know, you’d never know some rebellious girl trashed the place.” You rolled your eyes at his dramatics. “Unless you looked at me, that is.” You laughed, shaking your head at him. 

“I can’t wait to see it done.” Harry looked around and silently agreed with you.

“It’s going to be so cute.” You finally noticed that Harry had almost completely finished painting.

“Might need another coat but, should be done soon.” 

“Thank you, for helping me, again.” You laughed. He smiled, shrugging his shoulders.

“I think i’d be a pretty shitty best friend if i didn’t.” 

“Yeah, that’s true.” He scoffed at your teasing, playfully flipping you off.

“Harold, there’s children around.” You scolded, hands cupping your belly like you were covering a child’s eyes. He laughed at you.

“Good luck getting Tom to stop, even when she’s here he’s going to be a nightmare.” You groaned.

“I didn’t even think about your foul mouthed siblings.” Harry snorted as your comment caught him off guard, the two of you falling into a state of continuous laughter to the point your stomachs ached. 

“Okay, we need to get it together.” He demanded playfully. “Let’s finish painting, then we can fuck around all we want.”

You slapped his arm at his choice of vocabulary, receiving a teasing wink from your best friend.

“Just as bad as the rest of them.” You mumbled, earning an offended scoff from him.

“How dare you.” He accused, holding his hand over his heart and feigning pain. 

“Just being honest, my dear.” 

A few days later, after the room was so ‘gracefully’ painted by you and Harry, two of the other Holland boys had come over to help put the baby's furniture together. They’d had to move the toys and clothes out before they started to put the furniture boxes in, meaning it was like a maze of baby stuff just to get to the room. Something that was definitely not very convenient for you and your large belly.

Harry and Sam had started working on the crib first, while Tom worked on the rocking chair that you would feed your girl in.

“What can i help with?” You asked entering the room, ready to do anything they needed you to.

“Nope.” Tom demanded, practically shoving you out of the nursery.

“You aren’t doing anything, you’re almost 7 months pregnant.” You rolled your eyes, seeing that there was definitely a theme between the Holland siblings. But not wanting to argue about it with him, you moved on begrudgingly.

“Fine, but if you need anything, please ask.” He nodded.

“We will.” He said. “Now leave.”

“Such a gentleman.” You commented teasingly. Tom rolled his eyes, shooing you out of the room. 

You were now left to your own devices, deciding on making something to eat in the kitchen.

You weren’t really paying attention to the time, all your focus on making food. So, when Harry came into the room you didn’t think it’d be because they were already done.

“We’re finished.” Harry announced.

“Already?” You asked, your question being ignored as Harry placed his hands over your eyes, blocking your vision from seeing anything.

“Harry, we still have to walk there, and i need to turn the stove off.” You laughed. You could practically hear him rolling his eyes, turning the stove off for you before carefully guiding you away.

“I’m not taking any chances, come on miss.” He helped you up from your chair and guided you through the hall and towards the baby’s room. He made sure you didn’t trip or bump into anything, which you were very grateful for.

You came to a sudden halt, hearing the hushed voices of Sam and Tom in the room with you.

“Okay, are you ready?” Sam asked. You nodded, trying to pry Harry’s hands from off of your eyes. 

“Let me see, come on.” You heard them laugh before Tom started counting down.

“3-“ Tom dragged it out for a lot longer than necessary, just to try and build up the anticipation. 

“2-“ You huffed, beginning to grow impatient at the lad.

“1, and a half.”

“Oh my god, will you just let me look.” Harry laughed, removing his hands from your eyes. Your eyes quickly adjusted to the bright lights of the room, looking around the nursery with watery eyes. You cursed yourself mentally as your hormones got the best of you, practically forcing you to cry.

“Why are you crying?” Sam asked, rubbing your back with a sympathetic pout.

“Hormones, happy tears, all that good stuff.” You joked. You hugged the twin tightly, well as tight as you could considering your large belly. You then hugged Tom and then Harry, staying leaned into Harry’s side with his arm around your shoulders.

“Now, you just have to sort out all the boxes.” Sam stated. 

You frowned, looking at the stacks of baby things in your hallway.

“Well is anyone helping?” Harry let go of you, shifting over to stand by his twin. The brothers looked at each other with a ‘not it’ kind of look. The twins did their weird twin telepathy thing and ended up pushing Tom towards you, making a break for your front door.

“Bye y/n, bye Tom!” 

“Dickheads.” Tom mumbled, you nodding in agreement behind him.

“Well, i guess it’s just us.” Tom grabbed a couple boxes and placed them on the floor, allowing you both to sort through them and hang up clothes, or put away toys.

“I’m loving all the spiderman things in here.”

“Tom, this whole box is basically from you.” You laughed. He shrugged, throwing you a smirk.

“No wonder these clothes are of such good taste then.” You picked up a spiderman plushie, aiming it at his head and succeeding in hitting your target. He mumbled an ‘ouch,’ shooting you a glare whilst you smiled innocently.

“How much longer?” Tom whined, laying himself down on the floor and pretending to sob.

“Stop being a baby.” You laughed, poking his stomach with your foot.

“Come on, get up.” He groaned loudly, pushing himself up.

“I feel like I'm being punished for something.” He sighed. You laughed, handing him some more stuff to put away. 

“So dramatic.” You commented.

“I am an actor, darling.” You fake gasped, turning to face him in shock.

“No way!” You stated. “Do you by any chance play this spider guy.” You held up one of the spiderman onesies he had bought a few weeks ago.

“Shut up.” He chuckled, flipping you off.

“Harry told me you wouldn’t stop swearing for the baby.” You told him, pointing to his middle finger. “You just proved him right.” 

“Oh, how awful, proving Harry right.” His comment made you giggle, telling him to behave.

You and Tom were unpacking things for a little while longer, taking the time to take a breather when you were done.

After you and Tom were finally done, you were more than ready to just sleep forever and Tom was clearly ready to go home.

“Thank you for your help.” You hugged him tightly before he left. 

“Always, see you soon y/n.” He waved, closing the door behind him. You sighed, finally getting a moment to yourself after a chaotic day filled with the three lads.

“And it’s just us again baby girl.” You smiled as she started to gently kick your belly, your heart warming as she knew you were talking to her. 

“Yeah, it’s your mummy.” You teared up slightly, cursing your hormones again.

“Why don’t we go take a nap, huh?” You cupped your belly, heading to your room and just hoping your baby could calm down enough to let you sleep.

“Goodnight angel.”

Being 9 months pregnant was ridiculously difficult. You yourself felt like the child, rather than the one you were carrying, at this point. You couldn’t do anything without someone else to help you. The Hollands had been utter angels to you, helping you with every little thing to make sure you were completely prepared to give birth.

“How you feeling today, mama?” Tom teased as you entered the kitchen to fulfill, yet another craving.

“Tired, and huge.” You whined, pouting at the oldest Holland. He wrapped his arms around your shoulders and hugged you.

“Not long now, then you’ll have your adorable little girl.” You nodded your head, smiling at the thought.

“Feels like it’s taking forever.” You complained.

“Why don’t you go take a nap?” You nodded, thanking Tom before heading upstairs to Harry’s room. You weren’t sure where he was, assuming he was doing something with either his twin or his little brother.

Little did you know that this sleep was not going to be as peaceful as you originally hoped.

A sharp pain in your lower abdomen woke you from your sleep, jolting upright and cupping your large belly. You took deep breaths, letting your eyes adjust to being awake before checking the time on the clock next to Harry's bed. 

You convinced yourself it was nothing, pushing yourself out of bed to use the bathroom before you’d go back to sleep like nothing happened.

However, another sharp pain followed by a gush of water made you panic.

“Harry!” You shouted, not knowing where in the house he was. He ran into his childhood bedroom with a scared look on his face, finding you standing in the middle of the floor, cupping the bottom of your belly standing in a puddle of water and squeezing your eyes shut in pain.

“Hey.” He placed his hand on your lower back, the other lifting your chin to look at him. “What happened?” You panted as the contraction wore off.

“I-I think my water just broke.” His eyes widened, yelling for his Mum.

For the last few weeks of your pregnancy, you’d been staying in the Holland household just in case anything were to happen. It also meant you had Nikki’s help when you finally went into labour, just like right now.

“What’s wrong?” Harry looked at his mum in fear.

“Her water broke.” He simply stated. Nikki nodded, refusing to show any sign of panic as she made her way over to you.

“We need to get you to the car, Harry can you-“ He nodded, taking your hand and being careful to walk you downstairs, stopping halfway to help you wait out your contraction. 

When you were finally in the car you noticed Sam was now driving, giving him a tight lipped smile and a thank you.

“You’re doing so well, y/n.” You laid your head on Harry’s shoulder, squeezing his hand as you took deep breaths to try and calm the pain.

“So proud of you, bug.” You smiled, looking up at him.

“You haven’t called me that in years.” Truthfully, Harry stopped calling you that after he met Nate. there was one time where he let it slip, like a habit in front of him and he didn’t react too kindly about it.

“It just kinda slipped out.” You tucked your head into his neck again.

“I like it, don’t worry.” The drive felt as though it was never going to end. You wanted nothing more than to make it to the hospital and get your baby out of you so this pain would stop. Every few minutes you’d squeeze the life out of Harry’s hands, crying out in pain.

“We’re here.” Sam announced. You were helped into the hospital where you were led to a private room, your contractions growing closer together and, arguably more painful, as time passed by.

“Harry.” You whimpered, clutching his arm as another contraction shot through your body. “I don’t think I can do this.”

“You can, you’re one of the strongest people I know.” He said, pressing his lips to your head to try and calm you down.

“It hurts.” You looked up at him with tears threatening to fall from your eyes, his heart shattering as he had to witness the pain his favourite person was going through.

“You can do this, I know you can.” Half an hour later you were giving birth, one of the most painful, and if not, the most painful experience of your life. Harry stayed with you the whole time like he’d promised you all those months ago, letting you squeeze the life out of his hand. All while he’d whisper words of encouragement and praise to you.

“One final push, y/n.” You panted like a dog that needed water, listening to the doctor countdown from 10. The final push was the most relieving one of all, your baby girl finally being brought out into the world, her hearty wails echoing around the hospital room.

You leaned your head on Harry’s chest while they cleaned her, utterly worn out. The tiny girl was placed on your chest, a small sob slipping past your lips as you stared down at her.

One by one the doctors started to leave the room, checking you and baby were okay first.

Once you, Harry and your girl were left alone, you finally grinned widely.

“I can’t even believe she’s real.” You said.

“Did you decide on a name?” He asked, bending down to be closer to your height. You nodded with a grin, taking his hand into yours.

“What is it?” You turned your attention back to her.

“Happy birthday, Lily rose y/l/n.” You kissed her head, tears running down your face as you stared at your perfect creation. Harry grinned, tearing up slightly as he put it altogether.

“Roses for Lily?” You looked at him and nodded.

“My way of honouring you for everything you’ve done for me.” He leaned down and hugged you, trying to not let you know that he was secretly crying over the sweet gesture.

“A december baby, just like Paddy.” You giggled, nodding your head. You stroked her cheek as gently as you possibly could, feeling too emotional and filled with adoration to even speak. Her tiny, bright eyes fluttered to a close, feeling content enough with being in her mother’s arms to fall asleep.

You and Harry didn’t speak for a while, scared that even a quiet noise would wake up your precious angel. This continued until Harry eventually broke the silence, just to tell you how amazing you were.

“ ‘m so proud of you.” Harry stroked his fingers through your hair, disregarding that you were a sweaty mess as you finally held your little girl. She slept soundly as the two of you admired the little bub.

“Thank you Harry, really.” You whispered. He furrowed his eyebrows.

“For what?” He asked.

“For helping me through this, all of it, I wouldn’t have survived the last 9 months without you.” You told him, tearfully.

“You don’t have to thank me, I would never make you do this alone.” He kissed your head, a small smile permanently glued to your face. Both of your attentions were directed back to Lily.

“She’s absolutely perfect.” He confessed. You nodded in agreement.

The little bub started to blink open her eyes, her sleep not lasting very long, showing you the gorgeous orbs that were the same colour as yours.

“Hi pretty girl.” She let out a yawn, the unknown action scaring her, you watched as her face scrunched up and she began to cry.

“Oh no, you’re okay, was just a yawn.” You nuzzled your nose against her head, gently placing your lips against her skin to soothe her.

“I know, it was scary hm?” The little one calmed down after a little while, entranced with Harry who sat in her eye line.

“That was the cutest thing ever.” You giggled, motioning for Harry to take a seat on your bed. He carefully leaned over and traced her cheek with his thumb, tearing up when her tiny hand wrapped around his much bigger thumb.

You smiled at the sight, laying your head against his chest. You didn’t want to kill the happy mood, but you couldn’t help but let your mind drift off to thinking about Nate.

“Should I text him, just to let him know?” You wondered aloud. Harry looked down at you and noticed the uncertainty clouded in your eyes.

“Did he ever respond to your last text?” You shook your head. Even though he said he wasn’t ready to be a father, you’d still sent Nate updates every now and then, sometimes pictures of sonograms, or sometimes if she was kicking, just to let him know his girl was doing okay.

“Just leave it, he clearly doesn’t care.” You nodded sadly, glancing back down at your bub, you noticed the discomfort on her face before she began to tear up, quickly turning into a heart wrenching wail, your own heart aching not knowing what was wrong.

“Y/n?” You lifted your head and glanced at Nikki standing in the doorway of your hospital room. “The midwife said she might need feeding, she should be in soon.” You nodded, cooing at the baby to try and stop her cries. You motioned for Nikki to come inside, letting her take a spare seat beside your bed, looking down at Lily with a watery smile.

There was a knock on your hospital room door a few minutes later, opening just slightly for the woman to pop her head around and announce her presence.

“Hi y/n.” You looked up, spotting the nurse and giving her a warm smile. “Are you ready to try and feed her?” 

You nodded your head, Harry’s eyes widening when he realised what was happening and that you would have to partly undress.

“I’ll wait outside.” He offered, trying to be a gentleman.

“Oh, are you sure?” You didn’t mind Harry being here while you fed Lily, but you respected that he might feel uncomfortable. He kissed your head before leaving the room, going to update his brothers on how everything was going.

Feeding Lily for the first time was a strange experience, but you were glad you had Nikki and the midwife by your side to tell you it was completely normal and you would eventually get used to it.

After feeding, burping and rocking the girl to sleep, Harry came back in, switching with his mother to take the place beside your bed. Nikki kissed your head in a motherly way and decided to leave to let you sleep.

“Nikki, if you want to go home, you can.” You said, feeling bad to make the family wait with you.

“Are you sure, we can always stay?” You smiled and nodded.

“I’ll have to stay here until tomorrow anyway, i’ll come straight to you.” She nodded, bidding you, Lily and her son goodbye.

You and Harry both sat in silence for a few minutes, just watching the baby in your arms sleep peacefully. Harry was, once again, first to break the silence.

“Why don’t you get some sleep, in the nicest way possible, y’look exhausted.” Harry commented, stroking his fingers through your hair as your eyes fought to stay open. Lily sleeping calmly in your arms.

“Don’t wanna miss a second.” You whined, looking over at Harry with a pout he found adorable.

“I'll watch her, I promise.” You nodded reluctantly, Harry carefully took the baby wrapped in the fluffy, white blanket into his arms, listening to your instructions on how to hold her properly, then assisting you in getting comfortable on the hospital bed.

For the next few hours, Harry stayed mesmerised with the newborn in his arms, while you got some well deserved sleep after an extremely long day. 

<<<<>>>>

Harry drove you to the Holland house before driving you home from the hospital the next morning, watching you be completely entranced with your little creation. You were so careful with every movement you made, trying not to scare or overwhelm her. 

She was properly introduced to each of the Holland siblings, giving the boys the chance to hold her and just talk to her. The whole thing turned out to be a lot more chaotic than you would have originally anticipated.

“Where does my hand go?” Tom asked frantically. You guided one to the back of her head and then the other to hold her back. You told Tom he was doing perfect, calming his nerves slightly.

Paddy was much less of a nightmare than Tom, not even needing the help to position his hands. He looked in awe of the tiny human that was staring up at him, his heart all fuzzy and excited.

Sam was a pro, clearly having held many babies in his lifetime, probably because of all the Holland siblings he could be trusted the most with a human life. “She’s gorgeous, y/n.” Harry and Tom nodded, Paddy still not taking his eyes off the girl in his brother's arms.

Nikki cried while getting to finally hold Lily, her heart swelling with pride. You were practically a daughter to her and she couldn’t find the words to explain how proud she was of you. Harry watched your eyes grow heavier and heavier, deciding it was time to take you back to your own home now. They were all reluctant to let you leave, making you promise you’d be back as soon as possible, which of course you were more than happy to do.

Driving back to your own home, you were filled with the excitement of the idea of introducing Lily into the place she’d grow up.

It didn’t take long to get there, Harry helping to carry your stuff inside while you cradled your babygirl. 

“This is your home Lily.” Harry watched you both, practically with heart eyes bulging from his head. You showed Lily around some more. You were fully aware that she didn’t understand anything you were saying, but you were hoping that just your voice was capable of soothing the girl. Harry was carrying your hospital bag with him as you led him to the nursery.

You had some hesitations about leaving her in a separate room from you, knowing that she’d need you multiple times in the night anyway.

“Would it be too much trouble to put her crib in my room?” You asked him, hoping he’d be able to move it for you. He shook his head no, taking your bag to your room first. When he came back with the crib you could see he was visibly struggling to get it through the door. You felt bad for laughing, but watching Harry struggle like this just seemed to crack you up.

“I’m glad you find this funny.” He muttered sarcastically, pushing his curls out of his eyes.

“I’m sorry.” You muttered through your giggles, rubbing Lily’s back.

The crib was rolled into place a little space away from your bed, letting you lay your baby girl down on the soft fabric of the blanket inside.

“There we go.” You watched the girl quickly fall asleep in her new crib, your heart warm and happy. Harry sat beside you, shoulders and thighs touching you were that close.

“How are you feeling?” He asked.

“Incredible, I never thought i could love someone so much.” He couldn’t help but smile at you, you looked perfect to him right now. The dopey smile never left your face, the same giddy feeling sitting in the pit of your stomach since the night before. A small yawn escaped your lips, Harry thinking it was the cutest sound ever.

“You tired?” He asked. You nodded, laying your head on his shoulder.

“Come on.” You furrowed your eyebrows, tilting your head like a confused puppy.

“What?” You asked, rubbing your tired eyes.

“Get some sleep, you’ve had a long day.” He kissed your head. You checked on Lily one more time. 

“What if she needs me?”

“She doesn’t need you right now, at least get some sleep while you still can.” You sighed before you climbed into bed, already in pyjamas. You pulled your covers up over your body, right up to your chin and almost passed out as soon as your head hit the soft pillow, not realising you were this unbelievably tired.

“Will you stay?” You asked quietly, the idea of being without him seeming to scare you slightly. Harry smiled, nodding his head, laying down beside you. You cuddled into his side, resting your head on his chest comfortably.

“Sweet dreams y/n.” You hummed, nuzzling your face in his warm hoodie.

“Love you, Harry.” You mumbled. He blushed, a silly smile spreading on his face.

“Love you more.” He mumbled, right as you drifted off.

Just as you had suspected, Lily needed you sooner than your body appreciated, seeing as from the time on the clock you’d only been asleep a couple of hours. You woke up to the sound of her cries from the crib, pushing yourself up out of bed and shuffling over to her.

“Oh no, you’re okay.” You hadn’t realised that you’d woken Harry in your haste to get to Lily, the male stretching his muscles, confused himself about when he had fallen asleep.

“She okay?” He asked, voice raspy and full of sleep.

“ ‘m not sure.” You’d already checked her nappy, finding it clean, your next thought being that she was hungry.

“Do you mind if i try and feed her?” Harry was slightly taken back, eyes wide, reduced to a stuttering mess as he thought about you having your bare chest exposed in front of him.

“No, of course, s-she needs to eat, go ahead.” He turned his head away to give you some privacy, finding anything else to put his focus on. He heard you huff, a small whimper coming from you as well.

“Everything okay?” He asked, hearing you sniffle.

“She won’t latch on.” You complained, pulling your shirt up and cradling Lily to your chest. He knew you well enough to know you were getting stressed, not knowing how to help her.

“Can i try?” He asked, noticing the tears welled up in your waterline. You nodded your head, assisting Harry in taking Lily into his arms. 

He cooed at the small baby, shushing her and holding her head just under his chin. It didn’t take long for her cries to begin to quieten down, Harry’s scent or presence must have had a strong effect on her because she was calm again in a few minutes.

You didn’t have the energy to be sad or mad that Harry was able to handle her better than you already. You simply rested your chin on his shoulder, kissing his cheek as a thank you.

“You go back to sleep, I'll hold her just a little bit longer.” You nodded sleepily, climbing back into your bed and falling to sleep with the knowledge that Lily was in perfectly good hands.

“You’re okay, aren’t you?” The girl blinked up at him, her eyes curious as she watched the curly haired man talk. She obviously didn’t understand a word he was saying, but that didn’t matter now that she was calm and happy.

“Goodnight Lily.” He carefully placed her down in the crib, watching over her until she drifted off. Harry climbed into your bed as quietly as he could, trying his hardest to not wake you with all the movement.

He froze when you rolled over, accepting your warmth as you cuddled back into his side like you were earlier.

“Is she okay?” You asked, half awake.

“She’s perfect.”

It was officially only days before christmas and Lily was already almost 2 weeks old, which you couldn’t believe. You’d gotten help to make sure you had everything prepared present wise, but you and Lily were going to spend actual Christmas day with the Hollands.

A sudden distressed cry woke you from your sleep, pushing yourself out of your bed to tend to your babygirl. You moved around to the other side of your bed, your baby looking at you with teary eyes and a red face.

“Oh, there’s my little angel.” You gently lifted her from her crib, holding her against your chest and gently stroking her back. You bounced her gently, pressing kisses to her head to try and soothe her.

“You’re okay.” She continued to wail in your ear, your heart aching for your precious girl.

“You hungry darling?” You looked at her distressed face, taking a seat on your bed, lifting your shirt up to let her latch on.

You sighed, leaning your head back and glancing at the time on your phone screen. 4:23am.

“We’re gonna have to get you a better sleep schedule baby.” After she was done feeding, you carefully laid her back down in her crib, watching over her for a few minutes to make sure she was okay, before climbing back into bed yourself. You were out like a light the second your head hit your pillow, you were utterly exhausted.

The next morning you were woken again by loud babbles from Lily, checking the time and seeing it was almost 10am.

You sighed, pushing yourself out of bed and scooping the girl up in your arms. Harry would be coming over soon anyway. You changed Lily’s nappy and dressed her in a fluffy purple onesie, making your way into your living room to set her down in the kitchen, so you could make breakfast.

“Y/n?” You called back with a ‘hey’, letting Harry know where you were. 

He entered the kitchen with a smile, moving over to the little baby to give her some affection.

“There's my favourite little girl.” She babbled, reaching up to try and touch his face. He carefully picked her up out of her high chair, pressing kisses to her cheeks and having a mini conversation with her. At least as best he could considering she didn’t understand anything he was saying.

“So, how’s it going being a mum?” Harry asked, entranced with the girl in his arms who was grabbing at his fingers.

“I adore her but,” You paused, seeing Harry look up in concern at the ‘but’. “I’m so stressed and sleep deprived.” Harry could see how tense you were, he’d noticed how tired you looked when he first came in, but he didn’t want to sound rude.

“I didn’t realise it’d be this hard by myself.” You complained.

“Let me look after her for a few hours,” He offered. “Go and catch up on some sleep.” You were hesitant, feeling bad to burden him with Lily, but also growing slightly protective over her.

“She’ll be okay, would i ever let you down?” You shook your head, thanking him.

“Be good for Harry.” You kissed her head, Harry pouting when he didn’t get a forehead kiss too.

“Anyone would think you’re the newborn.” He grinned, accepting your kiss with a smile.

“Have a good sleep.”

“Thank you,” A lightbulb went off in your head, realising he didn’t know what to do. You turned back around to tell him and he simply rolled his eyes. “If she cries, there’s a bottle in the fridge, just heat it up, nappies are in in her nursery and-“

“I’ll be fine, if I need any help I'll call my mum.” You nodded, taking a deep breath before heading to bed to catch up on lots of missed sleep.

“Looks like it’s just me and you now.” Harry spoke to the girl. The two had a fairly enjoyable time together, Harry in love with everything she did and the girl in awe of him. It was hours later that you were trudging into the living room looking much more refreshed. Harry was sitting on the couch, Lily against his chest while the curly haired man talked to her.

“How did it go?” You asked, taking a seat next to them and resting your head on Harry’s shoulder.

“She was a perfect angel, didn’t cry once.” He boasted. You grinned, stroking her chubby cheek.

“Thank you for helping me, my hero.” You kissed his cheek, watching Lily scrunch up his shirt in her tiny fist. It wasn’t long before your bub began to get uncomfortable, beginning to cry her small heart out.

“I think she’s finally ready for her nap.” You carefully lifted her off of Harry’s chest, taking her over to the bassinet you kept in your living room. You laid her down, hovering over her for a few minutes to make sure she knew you were there.

“Go to sleep hunny, I know you’re tired.” You watched her eyes flutter shut, content with the world around her.

“And then there were two.” You said, sitting down next to Harry again. He yawned and stretched his arms above his head.

“I mean, I don’t know about you but I’m exhausted after watching her.” You huffed.

“Don’t leave me yet.” You begged, staring at him with puppy dog eyes.

“Can I just nap here?” He asked, watching you think about it.

“I guess so.” You said, Harry scoffing at how unamused you sounded. You flashed him a cheeky grin, motioning for him to lay his head on your lap.

“Here.” You handed him a fluffy blanket that you usually kept on the back of your couch, throwing it over his body to keep him warm. You spent the next hour stroking through his curls, watching him sleep peacefully with the comfort of your warmth. With your other hand you just scrolled through your phone, not wanting to disturb Harry with the sounds of the tv.

He eventually started to shift, signalling to you that he was waking up. His hair was messy and he looked absolutely adorable, staring up at you with tired eyes.

“Thank you.” He mumbled. Nuzzling his face into your hoodie material.

“Always.” 

<<<<>>>>

3 days later and it was officially Christmas day, you were getting Lily’s stuff together to head over to the Hollands. You had already taken presents over a few days earlier, just so today you only had to bring yourself and your baby.

The drive over to the Holland household was quite pleasant. There was soft christmas music playing in the background, with the bubbly feeling of excitement in the pit of your stomach.

Getting out of the warmth of your car, you were hit with the freezing december weather, rubbing your hands together for warmth.

Lily was quick to protest at the change in temperature with a small uncomfortable cry, her chubby cheeks turning a soft pink shade as the cold hit her.

Your cold knuckles knocked on the front door of the house, a shiver running through your body.

You wrapped Lily’s coat around her tighter, pulling her little hat down and doing everything you could to protect her from the blistering cold. The door to the Holland house opened a few minutes later to a smiley Harry. Welcoming you inside.

“There’s my favourite girl.” Harry said, taking Lily from your arms and cradling her close to his warmth. You scowled at him playfully.

“Me or her?” You asked, teasing your best friend. “Be careful with your answer.” 

“You, obviously.” He stated, like it was a fact. When you nodded, seemingly satisfied, he leaned in close to Lily, his mouth close to her tiny ear.

“I lied, it’s definitely you.” He whispered to the girl, tickling her to make her giggle. You scoffed.

“I heard that, Holland.” He laughed, sending you a teasing wink.

You followed him into the living room, seeing the other Holland’s scattered around doing various things.

“We have visitors.” Harry announced, motioning to you. Sam was quick to practically snatch Lily, peppering her cheek with soft kisses.

“Merry christmas y/n!” Nikki said, pulling you into a tight hug. You said it back, thanking her for letting you crash their Christmas day.

“You’re always welcome.” Tom was next to pull you into a hug, ruffling your hair like an older brother would. 

“Did I hear y/n?” Paddy asked, slipping into the living room to look for you.

“Hi, little man.” The nickname caused him to groan, it’d been something you’d called him for years, even after he passed you in height.

“I’m taller than you.” You rolled your eyes, pulling him into a hug.

“And I don’t care.” You simply stated. You watched Lily receive all the affection she could ever ask for, babbling incoherent things. 

“Can we open presents now?” Paddy asked, motioning to the pile under the tree.

“You didn’t have to wait for me.” You whined, feeling bad that the teenager was unable to have a normal christmas morning.

“You’re here now, so let’s get started!” Paddy announced. You stifled a laugh, nodding your head. You watched with a smile as the lads fussed Lily, helping her rip open the wrapping paper on her presents.

“Come here a second.” Harry said, tapping your shoulder. He took your hand and lead you away from his family.

“This is for Lily.” You playfully rolled your eyes at your best friend.

“It better not be another stuffed animal, she has too many already.” You joked. Harry shook his head with a small grin, telling you to just open it. Harry had pulled you over to a more quiet part of the living room to give you this, not wanting his brothers to see or hear.

“A blanket?” You asked, looking at him in confusion. A blush rose to his cheeks. He showed you the space where Lily’s name was engraved in, only confusing you further.

“I don’t get it- why did we have to open it separately?” You asked.

“I-i may have made it.” He stuttered, rubbing the back of his neck nervously. You awed, finding it cute that he’d go through so much trouble for you.

“Don’t laugh at me.”

“I’m not.” You argued. “I think it’s adorable.” You said, squeezing his cheek playfully.

“I didn’t really know what to get her so-“

“Harry, this is perfect, thank you.” 

After all the presents came the part all the Holland boys were the most excited about; christmas dinner.

They practically ran to the dining room when Nikki announced it was ready, taking their seats at the table and digging into their plates like animals.

“You’re like savages.” Nikki muttered, receiving a laugh from you as you dug into your own food. Every now and then you’d alternate between eating and amusing Lily so she wouldn’t cry.

You pinched her cheek gently, wiping the drool from the corner of her mouth with a napkin.

“Such a messy baby.” You said. She just babbled, showing you her gummy smile that made your heart flutter.

“A bit like Harry.” Sam said, receiving a slap to the arm from his twin. You laughed at the two, leaving your angel to finish up the last bits of your meal.

After dessert Nikki turned down your offer to help clean up, forcing one of her boys to do it instead. Tom groaned, trailing to the kitchen with some dirty dishes in his hands, muttering complaints on the way.

“Nikki, that was amazing, thank you.” She smiled, kissing your head as she walked by. The table was disturbed when your little bub began to cry, you being able to recognise that she was crying for food.

“I think she’s hungry.” You pouted, lifting her up into your arms.

“Go feed her, we’ll sort this.” Sam said, motioning to the table that needed clearing.

“Are you sure?” You asked, feeling slightly bad.

“Unless Harry’s going to grow boobs and feed her, I'm pretty sure you’re the only one that can.” Harry slapped his twin upside the head, calling him an idiot. You just laughed, making your way up the stairs to feed your precious angel.

<<<<>>>>

“I really enjoyed today, thank you.” Harry squeezed your shoulders gently.

“We’re all glad you were both here.” The two of you continued to get ready for bed, you also getting Lily into her onesie. The three of you would be sharing Harry’s bed in his childhood room for the night, having to make sure Lily stayed safe between you both.

You climbed under the covers, next to your already sleeping daughter. You had a smile gracing your face, one that Harry couldn’t help but completely adore.

“Goodnight Harry, merry christmas.” You whispered, laying your arm over Lily gently to make sure she’d be safe.

“Merry christmas y/n.” 

“Tom, what am I going to do for the twins' birthday, I have no idea what to get for them.” You complained down the phone, collapsing on your bed. Tom sighed on the other end of the phone, running his hand over his face, exasperated.

“I’m having the same problem.” He huffed sadly.

“We don’t have long either.” You reasoned, glancing at the date on your calendar, which read the 10th.

“Do you want to go out at some point, look for some presents together?” He asked. You sat up, eyes widening.

“Yeah, I think that’d be a perfect idea.” You said excitedly.

“We’ll need to talk about the party too, mum’s been shouting at me to plan something as soon as possible.” You giggled.

“Yeah, we can do that.”

You and Tom planned when and where you were going to go, the male telling you how excited he was to see Lily again, especially after not seeing her for the past few days because of how busy he’s been with work.

“Are you more excited to see Lily than me?” You asked, feigning offense.

“You have an adorable baby, can you really blame me?” You rolled your eyes.

“No not really.” You laughed.

“So, i’ll see you tomorrow?” He asked, checking with you.

“Yeah, see you tomorrow.”

Just like he promised, Tom was knocking on your door the next day, announcing he was ready to take you and Lily out shopping. You kissed Lily’s head, walking to the door and opening it for your friend, welcoming him in. He was quick to take the angel out of your arms, giving her sweet kisses all over her face while you zipped up her tiny coat. The girl babbled happily, making you smile as you got her stuff together. 

“You ready to go?” He asked. You nodded, letting him be the one to lay Lily down in her pram. 

The two of you had agreed on walking to your destination. The walk was pleasant, the two of you having the chance to catch up on everything you’ve missed, and for Tom to catch up on everything he’d missed with your little bub.

You wrapped the tiny coat and blanket tighter around Lily in her pram, trying to shield her from the cold February air. Tom smiled at the bubbly baby, wrapping his own coat around himself tighter.

“She looks so cute.” He pointed out, poking her chubby cheeks gently. You giggled, nodding your head. She basically only looked like a little chubby head under all the layers.

“Now, let’s go.” You announced, dragging Tom towards the shops where you were going to find your presents for the Holland boys. He led you straight to a jewellery shop, wanting to look at the expensive watches they had to offer.

“Tom, you can’t be serious.” You said, watching him gawk at the very pricey rolex.

“Why not?” He asked teasingly. You shook your head at him, deciding to look around. You noticed Lily was staring at the way the jewels and sparkles would shine when they caught the light, the baby completely entranced. You carefully picked her up, keeping the blanket wrapped around her so she didn’t get cold. You pointed out the shiny metals, talking to her quietly as she stared amazed.

“I think she’s enjoying herself.” Tom mumbled coming up behind you, getting a nod in response.

“Did you buy the watch?” You asked. Tom lifted the bag, an eye roll coming from you.

“Gonna split it with my mum and dad, promise.” 

“Now you have to help me.” 

You and Tom forgot to anticipate that paps would take any opportunity to catch you two together, to use pictures for false, shocking headlines.

The two of you didn’t even realise, too focused on finding the perfect birthday presents for the twins. You had enjoyed the majority of your day, forgetting how fun it was to spend time with him.

It was only when you got multiple messages from Harry, sending you screenshots of the headline that stated:

‘Tom Holland’s secret family spotted out in London together.”

The picture was of you and Tom laughing, the male pushing Lily’s pram, beaming down at her.

You were completely over it. You barely even wanted to show Tom. He was finally getting a break, showing Lily all the cute teddy bears. He loved hearing the girl laugh from the second she learned how to. 

“Tom?” You called, watching his head turn around to look at you, a large smile on his face and the almost 2 month old babbling happily in his arms. You handed him your phone, seeing his face drop and him sigh angrily. 

“Just ignore it, I’ll get someone on it later.” You nodded, wrapping your arms around his waist and squeezing him. You laid your head on his shoulder, welcoming the friendly kiss he placed on your head.

“Now, let me buy my adorable niece a teddy bear and we can actually get what we came for.” You giggled, rolling your eyes at the idea of more stuffed toys coming into your flat. After Tom bought her the bear, she wouldn’t let it go, her tiny hands clinging on to it as Tom carried her throughout the next shop you visited.

You thankfully did end up finding a present for both Harry and Sam. Your gift to Sam was rather simple, just some things he could use for cooking. However, your gift to Harry was a lot more meaningful. Every time you’d been out together over the last few months, Harry had eyed the same new camera in a shop window. You knew how badly he wanted it, but he was so attached to his current camera that he would never buy it for himself. So, you decided to give him a little push, buying it for him to surprise him on his birthday.

Nothing much else really happened with the whole press situation, until you got home that was, finding Harry waiting by your flat door.

“Oh hi, I didn’t know you were coming over.” He helped you get the pram through the door, waiting awkwardly while you put Lily down for her nap, even if she slept a lot while you were out.

“So, to what do I owe the honour?” You asked light heartedly. You were in a rather good mood after spending a fun day with one of your oldest friends. You grabbed a bottle of water and turned to face Harry with a smile.

“Why were you with Tom?” He asked, rather viciously too. Your smile dropped, tilting your head in confusion.

“What?” 

“Well you’re part of his secret family now so-“ You sighed.

“Can we please not talk about this?” He reluctantly nodded, the two of you standing in an awkward silence for a few minutes. Harry broke the silence again, something he was always good at doing.

“Why were you out with Tom, doing- whatever that headline said.” You rolled your eyes, annoyed that you were talking about this again.

“Are you in love with him or something!” It physically hurt Harry to even ask, the idea that the girl of his dreams was in love with his brother instead of him.

“Harry, you’re being ridiculous.” You muttered. He huffed angrily.

“I’m being ridiculous, really?” His voice was slowly growing louder.

“It’s ridiculous that we’re still talking about this.” You complained. 

“Why won’t you tell me what was going on?” He asked.

“Harry, please quieten down, I don't want Lily to wake up.” You begged. He ran his hands over his face, breathing deeply.

“Stop ignoring the question, are you in love with Tom, yes or no?” You heard a loud wail, your heart dropping as you started to make your way towards the nursery.

“Y/n!” You turned around and glared at him.

“Harry, I’m in love with you, you idiot, not Tom.” Harry gasped, through your anger you hadn’t even realised your slip up. “Now if you’ll excuse me, I have a crying baby to go and help.” Harry stared at you in shock as you walked away. 

He was frozen in his spot, processing the last few minutes over again in his head. He cursed himself, walking in a haste over to the nursery.

He knocked on the open door, watching you cradle a crying Lily before entering.

You didn’t acknowledge him, but he knew he could talk and you would hopefully listen.

“I’m sorry for waking her.” Harry watched as you bounced the girl in your arms, holding her to your chest.

“S’okay.” You whispered.

“So, we need to talk about what you said.” You sighed, tears springing to your eyes at the memory of your accidental confession, fear filling your body.

“Let me just put her down, then we can.” He nodded, leaving you to go and take a seat in the living room. Once Lily was calm and sleeping again, you laid her down in her crib, taking a few deep breaths to calm yourself. 

“I can do this.” You hyped yourself up. You entered your living room and found Harry sitting there, nervously wiping his sweaty hands on his jeans.

“Hi.” You mumbled quietly, secretly hoping he wouldn’t hear you. Harry’s head whipped in your direction, so fast you were surprised he didn’t give himself whiplash. He gave you a tight lipped smile, motioning for you to take a seat beside him.

“Look I-“

“I shouldn’t have-“ You both began speaking at the same time, laughing quietly.

“You go first.” You said, not really wanting to talk about your feelings straight away, especially with it still being a mystery about how Harry feels.

“You know I’ve always been intimidated by Tom and you know, you’re my best friend not his.” He whined, sounding quite like a child, “I’m sorry for snapping.” You nodded understandingly, taking his hand into yours. Your fingers laced together like it was completely natural.

“We were just shopping for birthday presents for you and Sam.” You whispered, seeing the frown take over his face. 

“I’m so sorry.” He apologised. You were quick to forgive him, just like you always were. You found it impossible to be mad at him when he was just so adorable.

“So, what did you need to tell me?” He said, filling you with dread.

“Please don’t make me repeat it, i’m already nervous.” You huffed, looking at him for any sign of mercy. He grinned.

“I’m in love with you too.” He ran his fingers through your hair gently, tucking it behind your ear.

“Why are we like this?” He asked. 

“We’ve just been completely oblivious.” You said, turning to watch him. He shuffled closer, thighs touching in a comforting way.

You rested your foreheads together, laughing quietly as you looked at eachother. The heat of the moment suddenly took over and you were both leaning in, your lips connecting in a sweet first kiss, one that had been building up for the last 11 years. Your lips molded together, your hands coming up to tug at Harry’s curls. One of his hands cupped your jaw, trying to pull you impossibly closer to him.

“Harry-“ You mumbled, trying to pull away. He whined, shaking his head and pushing on the back of your neck to connect your lips again.

You hummed, tugging on his hair a little too tightly to pull his head back.

“What was that for?” He pouted, chasing your lips to try and pull you back into another kiss. Your heart fluttered.

“Why did we wait so long to do this?” You asked, running your fingertips over the short curls on the back of his head, trying to soothe the sore spot you’d tugged on.

“Cause we're idiots.” He muttered with a cheeky smile, shrugging his shoulders simply. You giggled, nodding your head.

“I know things aren’t as easy as it’d normally be, you know with Lily but-“

“Harry, you’re basically her dad at this point.” You stated. Realising what you said might freak him out, you felt the need to elaborate. “I-i mean, you spend so much time with her, she loves you.” He smiled, a soft blush coating his cheeks.

“Really?” You nodded. He grinned uncontrollably, lifting his hand to stroke your cheek with his thumb.

“Do you maybe, want to give us a go?” He asked.

“Not if that’s how you’re going to ask.” You sassed, jokingly of course. His face fell, shaking his head.

“Right, uh.” He lifted his head, looking directly into your eyes. “Y/n Y/l/n, will you be my girlfriend?” 

Your heart fluttered, hearing the words you’d wanted to hear for so long.

“Harry Holland,” You said, cupping his cheek with your hand, stroking your thumb along his cheekbone. “I would like nothing more.” 

“Where’s Lily?” He asked breathlessly, pulling off his jacket and tossing it somewhere in your room. You giggled, barely even registering his question when his lips brushed your neck, tickling the sensitive skin.

“Her uncles wanted to spend some quality time with her.” You explained. He looked at you with furrowed eyebrows, not understanding what you meant. “She’s with Tom and Paddy, they wanted to take her for the night.” He groaned, a bright smile spreading across his face. “So, we’re completely alone.” You said suggestively.

“I’ve never been more grateful to have brothers than right now.” You laughed, feeling him nip at your chest.

“Uh-uh.” You said, brushing your thumb over his bottom lip. “No marks though, unless you’re willing to explain where I got them.” You breathed, already noticing a few start to bloom on your chest.

“Good point.” He hummed, leaning in to kiss you. The kiss was vastly different from Harry’s quick movements only seconds ago. It was slow and passionate, like you both had all the time in the world to show each other this kind of affection.

“Are you sure you want to do this?” He asked, brushing some stray hair from your face.

“Yeah, been wanting to do this for years.” You admitted.

Yours and Harry’s night included multiple rounds of fun after gaining both of your consent, taking full advantage of not having to focus on your daughter right now. 

“We should not have waited that long to do that.” You said, completely breathless as Harry collapsed to your side, letting his head hit the pillow. He chuckled from beside you, letting you cuddle into his side, ignoring how sweaty you both were. 

“Get some sleep, you seem like you need it.” He said. “Looks like I wore you out.” He teased. You scoffed, weakly hitting his chest.

“You need it more than me old man.” He gasped, feigning offense as you both burst into a fit of giggles.

“I’m going to go to the bathroom first, I’ll be back soon handsome.” You weren’t gone for long, not wanting to be away from Harry’s body for too long. You simply did your business and then headed back.

On your way back into your room you saw Harry’s eyes drooping, looking like he was about to pass out from exhaustion any second.

“You’re so cute when you’re tired.” You commented, crawling back into your bed and cuddling up into his side, your head laying on his chest. He nuzzled his face on the top of your head, sighing.

“You’re like a puppy.” You said, seeing his face screw up in disagreement. “You are.” You giggled.

“Shh, go to sleep.” He said tiredly, holding his finger to your lips to keep you quiet. You rolled your eyes, kissing his finger to make him sleepily giggle.

“Goodnight.” He just hummed in response, too tired to even respond.

You slept incredibly that night. Whether it was just because you’d been worn out, or if it was because you were in Harry’s warm hold, you didn’t find yourself stirring until the late hours of the morning.

Harry seemed to already be awake, staring out of your bedroom window at the morning sky from the comfort of your bed.

“Morning.” You mumbled, kissing his chest softly. He turned his head, smiling down at you. He ran the back of his hand over your cheek, then his thumb over your bottom lip. You leaned up, kissing him slowly before pulling back.

“Good morning.” He greeted. The two of you laid together still in bliss of your previous events until the last minute you could, your naked front rested against Harrys, his hand stroking over the expanse of your back, while your hand rested on his chest.

“So, are you coming to mine and Sam’s party?” He asked, tracing random shapes on the small of your bare back. You copied the shapes he traced on your back and traced them onto his own skin, a small truly happy smile on your lips. You placed a gentle kiss on his chest before shuffling to rest your chin on the same spot.

“Of course, I wouldn't miss it.” You refrained from telling him about the part where you were actually going to help plan said party. He looked down at you, raising his hand to brush some of your tangled hair out of your face. The two of you just stared at each other for a while, admiring one another’s features.

“You’re so beautiful.” He whispered. He felt your body grow hot, laughing to himself at how he could make you so easily flustered. He kept showering you with compliments just to see you get more and more embarrassed, your cheeks growing even more pink with each and every compliment. You buried your head in his chest, your arms coming around his stomach to hug him tightly.

“Stop.” You whined. His hand moved up to thread in your hair, stroking your head with a small smile. The air changed between you two, leaning up you pressed your lips on his, kissing him with the same passion you’d kissed him with during your first kiss last night.

“Oh, are we doing this again?” He asked. You giggled, nodding your head. You climbed into his lap, straddling him, feeling his hands secure themselves around your thighs.

Harry grew impatient, leaning in to capture your lips in another mind-blowing kiss. Your hands were cupping the back of his neck, trying to pull him impossibly closer. 

You heard a sudden knock on your front door, forgetting about the plans you had for today, Harry pulling away from your lips to ask if you wanted to get it. You shook your head, pushing your lips back on his. You giggled when Harry bit your lip teasingly, hearing another loud knock from on your door. You groaned, Harry resting his forehead on yours.

“Do you need to get that?” He asked, just making sure.

“Just ignore it, they’ll go away.” You muttered, relishing in the feeling of Harry’s hands on your body. Your kiss didn’t last much longer, hearing the front door open and the voice of your friend echoe around the flat.

“Y/n, i’m here.” Your eyes widened, glancing at the time and quickly jumping off of your boyfriend to throw on some clothes. You pulled on underwear and a hoodie, noticing Harry wasn’t moving.

“Get dressed.” You whisper yelled, throwing his clothes at him. He furrowed his eyebrows but listened, getting dressed in a haste, not wanting to be caught butt-naked in your bedroom by your unexpected visitor.

“Who is that?” He mouthed. You whispered back a quiet ‘Harrison’ and he furrowed his eyebrows, silently questioning why Harrison was in your flat.

“Y/n?” You heard his footsteps growing closer to your room.

“Shit.” You cursed, beginning to panic. You shoved your boyfriend in your bathroom, apologising profusely as you closed the door. There was a knock on your bedroom door.

“Y/n, can I come in?” He asked. You finished buttoning up your jeans, quickly checking yourself over in the mirror.

“Uh, yeah, come on in.” He opened the door, flashing you a smile.

“Tom’s on his way with Lily, do you want to talk about the plans for the party now or-“ Your eyes widened, not wanting Harry to hear about any of the plans.

“We’ll wait for Tom, but um, do you mind just getting me Lily’s feeding blanket from the nursery.” You asked. “She’ll probably be hungry when she gets here.” He nodded, leaving your room to go next door. You opened the bathroom door, motioning for Harry to come out quietly.

“The plans for the party, huh, what party would that be?” He teased. You slapped his arm, giving him a quick kiss and telling him he needed to leave quietly.

“Am I seeing you tonight?” He asked, sneaking in one final kiss as he checked Harrison wasn’t there. 

“Yeah, come over around 8?” You suggested. He nodded, grinning before sneaking out to the living room. You followed him out, just in case you had to hide him again.

“Hey, y/n?” Your eyes widened, pushing Harry to hide behind your couch where no one could see him. You heard him quietly groan in pain, trying to mask the laugh you wanted to let out.

“Yeah?” Harrison popped his head out of the nursery, furrowing his eyebrows. 

“I can’t find it, do you have any idea where it is?” He asked. Out of the corner of your eye, you saw the pink blanket sitting on the sofa, quickly pushing it out of sight when he wasn’t looking.

“Try looking in the wardrobe, it might’ve gotten caught up with her clothes.” He nodded, heading back in. You let out a breath, motioning for Harry to go as quickly as he could.

“That hurt.” He pouted. You smiled sheepishly, pecking his lips and pushing him in the direction of the door.

“I’ll see you later.”

“Bye.” He kissed your lips one last time before slipping on his shoes and rushing out of your flat. You took a deep breath, grabbing the blanket and calling for Harrison. He came back out of the room empty handed, apologising before noticing the fabric sitting in your hands.

“I am so sorry, it got lost in some clothes I need to put away.” You motioned to the pile of folded clothes on the table, smiling sheepishly. He laughed, shaking his head.

“Don’t worry about it, at least you found it.” You smiled gratefully, feeling slightly bad that you were lying to your friends.

Within the next half an hour Tom had shown up with your baby girl, announcing his presence obnoxiously loudly when he entered the room.

“There’s my angel.” You said, lifting Lily out of Tom’s arms to pepper her face with kisses. She babbled at you, your heart exploding when she tried to reach for you. 

You settled her against your chest, her head resting on your shoulder, the material of your shirt scrunched up in her tiny fist.

“Was she okay?” You asked, watching Tom take Lily’s things out of her pram.

“She was perfect, she cried a little through the night but I got her down again.” He said, smiling at the little baby, who’d moved on to playing with your necklace.

“Make yourself comfortable.” You smiled, motioning to where Harrison was already laying on your couch like it was his own home.

“Thank you, kind sir.” He teased, joining his best friend. You rolled your eyes at them, taking a seat on the singular arm chair, your girl sitting happily in your lap.

“So, we should start with where it’s happening.” Tom said.

It ended up being decided that Nikki and Dom would host the party at the boy’s childhood home. Tom and Paddy were going to help decorate, while you, Lily and Harrison would distract the twins, purely because you two could keep a secret, unlike Tom.

Like children, the two lads managed to get distracted easily, seeing which of the two could punch each other first, which you thought was absolutely ridiculous.

“Is that everything?” You asked, having to snap the two out of their little moment. The two nodded their heads sheepishly under your gaze, the same look they’d received from their own mothers countless times.

They stayed and talked for a while, feeling bad to just leave you by yourself for the rest of the day. However Tom did receive a few texts from his mum, asking what was going on.

“Well we should get going, gotta tell everyone else the plan of action.” You nodded your head, hugging them both. 

For the rest of the day you simply sorted the chores that Harry prevented you from doing by taking up all your time.

When the clock hit eight you prepared yourself for Harry’s arrival.

Not too much longer after that you heard a quiet knock on your door that made you smile, opening it rather quickly to find your boyfriend standing there with bags of junk food in his hands.

“I stopped at the chinese on the way, thought you’d enjoy it.” You grinned, just looking at him in complete adoration.

“I missed you.” You giggled when he pressed his lips all over your face, finally stopping when he reached your lips.

“You saw me this morning.” You said. Harry chose to ignore you, setting the food down on the kitchen island.

“Is she here?” He asked, a wide smile on his face. You rolled your eyes and nodded, leading him to the nursery where Lily was fast asleep. He awed quietly.

“She’s so cute.” He whined.

“She should be, I made her.” You teased. He laughed, shaking his head at you.

“That explains it.” He said, squeezing your cheeks together with an adorable giggle.

The two of you spent the majority of the rest of the night in each other's arms. You ate and then watched countless films, cuddled up under a fluffy blanket on your couch, while Lily was sleeping undisturbed in her room.

He noticed you yawn a few times, prompting him to ask if you were tired.

“Are you tired?” He whispered, affectionately nuzzing your cheek with his adorable nose. You nodded your head, shifting more onto your side so you could cling to him. 

“Come on, let’s go to bed.” He mumbled, ignoring your pitiful whine when helping you up. 

Harry did it all for you, practically carrying you to your bedroom, helped you get into comfy clothes, tied your hair back, took off your makeup and even helped you brush your teeth when you were too tired. Your heart soared every time he did even the smallest of tasks, feeling like you’d melt into a puddle of adoration for the man when he finally helped you into bed.

“Goodnight y/n.” You smiled lazily, resting your cheek against the soft material of his t-shirt covered back. Your arm came up and wrapped around his waist, so you were spooning him for a change.

“Night Harry.” 

And just like the night before, you slept soundly in his arms.

<<<<>>>>

So on the morning of the 14th, the twins’ birthday and coincidentally valentines day too, you packed up Lily’s things and headed over to the Holland house, knocking gently on the door. Paddy opened it with a smile that only grew when he saw you.

You gave him a quick hug, asking where the twins were. He gave you a quick, unhelpful shrug before immersing himself in playing with your daughter. You could hear the baby squeal loudly as you walked away, calling both of the twins’ names.

“I heard my name.” Sam announced, being taken off guard when you pretty much pounced on him.

“Hey, y/n, good to see you.” You wrapped your arms around Sam, practically suffocating him with your hug.

“Happy birthday.” You said. He laughed in your ear, muttering a thank you before he let go. You opened your mouth to ask him the question he already knew you were going to ask.

“He’s with mum in the living room.” You grinned, nodding your head and practically running off to the living room.

Harry opened his arms to you as soon as he saw your smiley face, letting you sit on his knee to give him a hug.

“Happy birthday.” He thanked you, both of you ignoring the suggestive look from Nikki. The two of you embraced the hug a little bit longer before you finally pulled away first, telling him that he had to come with you.

“Come on.” You laced your fingers in his, pulling him with you to go and find his older brother. You finally found him with Paddy and Lily a few minutes later, explaining to them what you were doing for the day.

“Me and Harrison are taking you both out, so come on, get ready to go.” Sam rolled his eyes at your bossiness, leaving to go and get his shoes. Paddy handed Lily back over to you, quietly whispering he was going to start helping Tom set up.

“You look gorgeous, by the way.” Harry whispered once the youngest Holland was out of sight, checking no one could see before leaning down to kiss you. He quietly told you he’d missed you, and then remembered not to leave Lily out, kissing her chubby cheeks a few times too.

“Harrison should be here any minute.” You explained. He nodded his head, leaving you to slip on some shoes and a jacket. You got Lily ready in her pram, making sure her blanket covered her so she didn’t get cold while out in the winter temperatures.

Harrison arrived and in no time you were all leaving the house. For some reason you’d decided to brace the weather and walk to where you were going to eat, quickly finding out that it wasn’t a very good idea on your parts.

“So, I was thinking, we could go get something to eat,” He suggested, a smirk spreading on his face. “Maybe ditch Haz and Sam, have a romantic meal.” You laughed, rolling your eyes.

“Harry, although it’s your birthday, it’s also Sam’s, and we aren’t ditching him.” You saw him huff and roll his eyes, pouting his bottom lip like a child. The four of you walked until you found a restaurant everyone was happy eating at.

The lads obviously ordered alcohol before anything, disregarding that it was barely even the afternoon. You suppose it was their birthday so you had to let them off, although the same couldn’t be said for the blonde male sitting opposite you.

Harry watched you with heart eyes as you quietly talked to Lily and played with her hands, both of which were holding onto your fingers tightly, the little girl sitting in your lap, trying to grab at everything on the table. Harry jolted upon feeling a sudden harsh pain spreading through his leg, realising his twin had kicked him.

“What was that for, you twat?” He snapped.

“You’re practically drooling.” Harrison said, motioning between you two with his finger.

“Am not.” He mumbled, consciously wiping around his mouth just in case.

For the most part the meal went well. Lily still couldn’t eat solid foods, so unfortunately for her she had to just sit in your lap and behave, which she did perfectly, while everyone else ate. 

Your meal was cut short before you could order any kind of dessert, receiving a text from Nikki to tell you they were ready and to come home.

“Can I carry her?” Harry asked, motioning to the lively girl in your arms. Harrison had generously offered to push the pram for you so you could have a break.

“Of course.” Harry was extra careful when lifting the babe into his arms, kissing her face to hear her laugh.

“She really does love you.” You said, seeing the awe in her gaze as she stared at your boyfriend’s face, admiring his individual features. His heart melted, kissing her head.

“I’m really glad.”

The rest of the way was filled with jokes from the lads, all of which made you laugh until your stomach hurt. 

“Stop.” You whined, feeling Harrison prod your aching stomach teasingly. You still giggled though, despite Harry’s subtle glare at his best friend for touching you. Safe to say he was grumpy for the rest of the walk.

You were back at the Holland house in no time, Harrison taking the lead and heading up to the door first. After you’d all caught up, standing behind him waiting, he pushed open the door, holding his arms out in a ‘voila’ sort of way. The lights flickered on and you were met with ‘happy birthday’ decorations all around.

“Surprise!” You all yelled. Harry and Sam’s eyes widened, happy smiles growing across their faces. Harry was quick to hug you, whispering a thank you in your ear. You would’ve stayed wrapped up in his arms longer if it wasn’t for Lily letting out a loud wail.

“Oh, my baby, the noise must’ve scared her.” You shifted over to her stroller, carefully lifting her out and holding her close to your body.

Harry’s eyes were glued to you, adoring the way your motherly instincts kicked in on the spot.

“Happy birthday, mate.” Tom said, snapping him out of his daze. Harry smiled at his older brother, thanking him while never taking his eyes off you.

“Either tell her how you feel or move on man.” He said, patting his shoulder when he noticed where his gaze was. Harry nodded, flashing his brother a tight lipped smile.

Harry noticed she hadn’t stopped crying, making his way through the people saying happy birthday to him, so he could make it to you.

“She okay?” He asked, placing his hand on your shoulder.

“I think she’s hungry.” You said, motioning for Harry to get you the pink burping blanket out of your bag.

“I’ll be right back.” You promised.

Right after you said that, Harry was swept away by some of his friends he hadn’t seen in a while, persuading him to have a drink with them.

You came back downstairs after feeding Lily confused, not able to find the curly headed boy anywhere.

At some point, Nikki had taken the angel from you, wanting to show her to a few of her friends. You didn’t protest, wanting to give your arms a break from holding the growing girl.

Later on in the evening you found yourself in the kitchen, alone with Harry. You were just trying to get yourself a drink when his arms wrapped around you.

“Feel like I haven’t seen you in so long.” He whined, pressing a kiss to your cheek, trailing them down your jaw.

“Harry, stop.” You giggled, trying to squirm away from the kisses he was placing on your neck. You heard footsteps heading towards the kitchen, shooing Harry off of you. You’d both agreed to keep your relationship a secret for a while, just until you both knew it was going to go well.

“Get off.” You said. He pushed himself away from you, pretending to busy himself with something in the fridge.

“Just coming to get another drink.” Sam said, eyeing you both out of confusion. You smiled at him, nodding your head, continuing to pour your drink into a glass.

“You two are so weird.” He mumbled, taking his drink and leaving the room. You tried to hold back a giggle but evidently ended up bursting into laughter. Harry joined you moments later, shaking his head.

“That was close.” You scolded, gently hitting his arm. You stayed to talk for a while, enjoying getting to be in each other’s company without other people getting in the way, even if the party was partly for Harry.

He smiled when his mum waltzed into the kitchen, giving her a small side hug and thanking her for putting the party together. Your angel babbled in her arms, making grabby hands towards you that you couldn’t resist, carefully taking her from Nikki’s hold. She informed you about the little nap she took while in her arms, making you smile at your girl.

“Everyone’s looking for you.” She told Harry, motioning out to the garden where people were having fun.

“I’ll go in a minute.” He said. However she wasn’t impressed, giving him a motherly look that told him he had to do what she said.

“Y/n, can I talk to you?” Nikki asked, changing the subject. You nodded, handing Lily over to Harry. You watched him leave with her to go outside, turning back to Nikki expectantly.

She smiled at you, taking your hand and pulling you with her.

You followed her out into the garden where Harry had just left to, admiring the decorations that were still hung in the trees and bushes.

“Are you and Harry together?” Your head whipped around to look at her, a confused smile on your face. 

“Wh-what?” You asked, laughing nervously.

“Please, no one looks at a friend the way you two have been looking at each other tonight.” You blushed, trying to find any possible right answer.

“Well, it’s only been a few days.” You said. She gasped, her eyes widening and her mouth twisting into a large smile. “But please don’t tell anyone, we want to see how it goes.” She nodded, pulling you into a tight hug.

“Of course, I’m so happy for you both.” She asked you a few more questions before letting you go and find your boyfriend. 

“Go get your man.” She teased. You spotted him sitting further down the beautifully decorated garden by himself.

You didn’t go up to him straight away, deciding first to watch Tom, Paddy and Sam gush over Lily as they played with a few of her toys. You were eternally grateful that the Holland’s loved your daughter so much.

“Hey, birthday boy.” You said, approaching him sitting alone. He turned his head, smiling at you and offering you his hand. He pulled you closer to him, letting you sit on one of his legs, his arm around you and his other cradling his beer.

“Why are you all alone?” You asked. “Are you not having fun?” You questioned, scared you’d ruined his birthday with the party.

“No I am, but.” He paused, making you worry more. You leaned into his body further, beginning to push some of his untamed curls out of his face.

“Talk to me.” You whispered, searching his eyes for any kind of emotion. 

“I know it’s my birthday but it's also our first valentines day-“ He said. You mentally awed. “I know it’s soon but I just wanted to spend today with you.” You smiled at him, kissing his head. 

“That’s adorable Harry, but we can always do something tomorrow, it’s okay.” 

You didn’t notice the suspicious glances from Harry’s siblings, watching you both be touchy with each other. When he turned his head and planted a soft kiss on your lips, not realising what he’d done, the brothers freaked out.

“Wait, wait.” Tom yelled, catching your attention, pointing between you both. “Are you two finally-“ 

“Dating?” He said, watching Tom nod. “Yes.” Harry confirmed, not even letting his brother finish.

“About fucking time.” You giggled, watching them all cheer and clap for you both. You turned to Harry with a smile.

“Well, guess the secrets out.” You mumbled. He laughed, nodding his head.

“It was always going to come out.” 

The day of your wedding felt like it was creeping up on you unexpectedly, even if it was still many months away. It still felt like yesterday that Harry was proposing to you in your bedroom in front of your daughter. Part of you couldn’t believe it had already been five months.

You had come home from spending some much needed time with friends at a local pub, to find your flat dark, and from the eerie silence, what you assumed to be empty. Confusion ran through you, Harry didn’t tell you he was taking Lily anywhere so you had expected them to be there when you got back.

“Harry?” you called, hoping to gain some form of an answer from your boyfriend, or even your daughter. You heard little footsteps running down the hall, a sudden flash of brightness lighting the room and taking you off guard as she stretched to turn on the light.

“Hi Lily, where’s your dad?” you asked, bending down to brush some curly hair from her face. She just giggled, taking your hand and pulling you in the direction of your bedroom. You followed her questionably, not having any idea what your menacing daughter was up to.

Gently, she pushed open the door to your room, leaving you to find your love standing there nervously, playing with the strings on his hoodie.

“Is there a pyjama party no one told me about?” you joked, motioning to Harry’s sleep wear and then your daughter’s adorable dumbo pyjamas. Which you could recall being her favourite. 

Harry laughed, shaking his head and taking your hands in his. He placed a greeting kiss on your knuckles, ignoring the noise of disgust that Lily made.

“I actually wanted to talk about something.” Your heart dropped, your mind automatically thinking you’d done something to upset him.

“Did I do something, I’m sorry if-“ he shook his head, squeezing your hands reassuringly.

“You didn’t do anything, you’re perfect.” You tried to ignore the feeling of heat in your body at the compliment, choosing to let Harry’s comment pass and let him continue talking.

“Well, here goes nothing,” he mumbled. You watched with wide eyes as he bent down on one knee, a nervous grin on his face as he glanced at Lily. She gave him a thumbs up, one which made you giggle.

Harry delved into a heartwarming speech about the memories you’d shared together, being best friends and then more. He told you about the time when he knew he was in love, and it turns out it was years before your relationship even became a possibility. 

“I also just, I want to thank you for giving me Lily, and letting me love her like she’s my own.” Tears were streaming down your cheeks at this point, only threatening to do the same to Harry. He finally pulled out the ring box, Lily squealing excitedly from the side.

“Y/N, will you marry me?” he asked, looking at you with those same big brown eyes you’d fallen in love with a long time ago.

“Yes, yes, of course I will.” The ring was slipped onto your finger and you couldn’t help your sudden urge to kiss your new fiance. Your lips molded together with his, Lily trying to pull you both apart so she didn’t have to see that.

The rest of the night after that was spent with the three of you watching disney films in your bed, Harry’s lips basically refusing to leave your head. 

You smiled at the thought, your thumb subconsciously running over the beautiful engagement ring, while your eyes took your time to look at the dress in the mirror. Your nose scrunched up in dislike, already having decided this wasn’t the one for you.

“You okay in there Y/N?” your mum asked. You opened the door, taking her hand to help guide you into the middle of the room without falling over the trail of the dress. You noticed them try to pretend as if they liked it, complimenting random details just to make you happy. Frowning, you shook your head at them. 

“I hate it.” The two women let out relieved sighs and finally gave you their honest opinions. You were close to tears, you didn’t think you were ever going to find the perfect one at this rate, and with some more recent uncontrollable emotions you’d been having, you were all over the place about it.

You finally got to take a moment for yourself when Tom entered the shop with your angel on his hip, her happy smile widening when she saw her mum. 

She almost leaped out of her uncle’s arms, running to you and pretty much demanding that you pick her up. You giggled, cradling her against your chest as she buried her head in your neck. You asked for her opinion on the gown, knowing that the three year old would be brutally honest, which she was. 

“I hate it,” she said, pulling a face that made you crack up. Nikki announced the idea of a break, one that you felt you both needed and deserved after this mess. 

The break was taken up by small talk between the four adults among you, the little girl slowly falling asleep in your arms until she was out completely, almost drooling on your shoulder.

Sadly you had to hand her over to someone else, letting her sleep on Tom’s lap in one of the uncomfortable chairs as you took the dress off.

You ended up being at the dress shop for hours, and you still hadn’t found the right one. The women- and Tom, suggested you go home and then try somewhere else tomorrow, but you insisted on trying one last dress, just in case.

You were staring at how it looked, slightly mesmerized by the flowy, princess like gown draped across your body. Snapping you out of your daze, was a soft knock on the dressing room door, your quiet come in barely being heard through the wood.

“Hey, you seemed to be taking a while, so I came to check on you,” he said. “and I brought you something,” opening the door to the dressing room to let your little monster run in. Your heart swelled, bending down to scoop her up into your arms. You gave her some kisses on her head, letting her back down onto her feet so she could get a better look at your dress, this one she liked much more.

“Hello my gorgeous girl.” The girl’s grin was wide, looking at your dress in awe, “Did you have a good nap?” 

She nodded her head, not even really listening to what you were saying, reaching forward to gently touch the material of your dress.

“You look like a princess.” You smiled at her, bending down to her height. You lifted your hand and placed it on the back of her head, trying to tame her wild bedhead. You thanked her quietly, mumbling something about how she’d also get to look like a princess when the day came. Grinning, she told you she couldn’t wait.

“You look incredible Y/N.” 

Tom’s arms wrapped around you in a brotherly hug, showering you with a few more compliments. Glancing at the time, you knew Harry was meant to be here any minute. You’d all planned on going to a celebratory dinner after you found your dress, and up until now you weren’t sure there was any point.

“Alright, let’s show them,” you said, motioning to the door. Lily took Tom’s large hand, wanting to walk with him back to the main area.

Just as you opened it, you noticed your sneaky fiancé standing in the room. A shocked gasp escaped you and you quickly pulled it shut so he couldn’t notice your dress.

“What’s wrong?” Tom asked, trying to look around you.

“Harry’s here, he can’t see my dress,” you panicked, looking at Tom for some kind of help.

Tom rolled his eyes, shooing you away from the door. He whispered something to Lily, assuming he was using her as part of his plan.

“Are you using my daughter as a distraction?” you asked. Tom grinned nervously and ushered her out of the door, waving goodbye to you without another word. You laughed, shaking your head at the immature man.

“Daddy!” she yelled, running towards the curly haired man standing with his mum and your mum. Harry turned his head, grinning at the little girl. Harry’s heart still fluttered everytime she called him that, just like the first time it happened, right after her first birthday.

Ever since Lily had learned how to say the word no, she’d been using it as much as she could. When you told her something she didn’t like, no. When you asked her to put her toys away, no.

Even if you tried to put her to bed when she didn’t want to, all you’d receive was a stubborn no in response.

You were currently trying to get her off the couch and upstairs, where you’d simply bathe her, change her and then put her in her crib for the night. However that was not what she wanted to do. 

“Come on angel, need to get you ready for bed.” This was already your fourth attempt, but the girl just kept shaking her head and making it impossible for you to pick her up, flailing her limbs around awkwardly.

“Is everything okay in here?” You turned your head to your boyfriend and pouted, explaining the problem and then turning back to the baby expectantly. Lily gazed up at Harry with a lazy smile, you were glad that she still adored him as much as she did when she was first held by him.

You tried again, showing Harry the struggle you were having with her. Her gaze wasn’t even focused on you, but rather over your shoulder at the curly headed man smiling at her.

“No,” she whined, “Daddy.”

Your eyes widened, cheeks growing a deep red as you nervously glanced at Harry. He seemed frozen in his place, staring down at her as she made grabby hands.

She got more and more agitated when Harry didn’t make a move to pick her up, her face scrunching up in distress. “Daddy,” she tried again. A sense of stress in her tone. 

She let out a cry, causing Harry to jump into action. He carefully picked her up, cradling her to his chest. Beginning to rock her in order to calm her dad, shushing her quietly too.

“You’re okay,” he whispered, glancing up at you nervously, “Daddy’s here.” 

You let out a sigh of relief with a grin, happy that she didn’t make him uncomfortable and manage to scare him away.

“Come on, let’s let mummy have a break and i’ll put you to bed.” 

You thanked him silently, watching the two head down the hall. Your heart was still beating faster than normal, and you were unable to remove the grin from your mouth.

When Harry came back he was still utterly shocked at what he’d heard, taking a seat beside you and pulling you into his arms.

“Did that really just happen?” he asked. You nodded your head, burying your face in his chest with a happy laugh.

“Congrats dad.” Harry could feel himself tearing up, unable to wipe the grin from his face due to the utter happiness he felt.

“Hi precious.” He lifted her up onto his hip, kissing her cheek. The two mothers watched him interact with the girl with warm hearts. Even if she wasn’t biologically his, Harry was more than happy to treat her as his own. He’d loved the girl from the second he learned about your pregnancy, and nothing had changed.

“How does mummy look?” he whispered, trying to keep his volume to a minimum so his own mum wouldn’t scold him for trying to get the girl to say anything about the dress.

“She looks beautiful.” 

“Even more beautiful than normal?” he said, a tiny grin on his face. Lily nodded her head rapidly, making Harry laugh and kiss her head. 

Tom explained to his brother that he had to turn around and close his eyes while you showed everyone else the dress. He whined and protested, insisting like a child that it wasn’t fair. Nikki had obviously scolded him, telling him to stop being a baby, which had made Lily giggle.

He knew you’d stepped out when he heard gasps from the two women, he pouted, resting his head against his daughters.

“Oh wow.” Harry felt his heart sink. He wanted nothing more to turn around and gush about how gorgeous you looked along with everyone else.

To tease him even more, you shuffled over and placed a kiss to his cheek, greeting him sweetly, but making sure he could only see your face.

“I want to see you,” he frowned. You giggled quietly, kissing in between his clothed shoulder blades.

“You’ll see me on the day.” He rolled his eyes, throwing his head back to try and catch a glimpse, complaining about how far away it was.

You scoffed at him, quickly covering his eyes with your hands. “Stop peeking.” 

Harry let you keep your hands over his eyes, but turned his head and puckered his lips for you to kiss him. You rolled your eyes, granting his wish. 

“Let me just change and then we can go.” You heard Harry huff, ignoring his complaints and heading back to change into normal clothing. He got the chance to properly greet you with a hug once you were back in the clothes you’d put on that morning.

Your heart was racing as you bought the dress, hearing the two men behind you choking on their own breath at the price, neither one of the lads was aware that a wedding dress could cost anywhere near that much. It wasn’t long before you were ready to leave, slipping your hand into Harry’s while he happily carried your girl on his hip, listening to her innocent rambling.

Once you were in the restaurant and ordering, you got a few confused looks from the rest of the table when you didn’t order any alcohol, choosing to go with water instead. In their heads your mother and Nikki were also thinking about when you rejected the champagne at the dress shop when you’d arrived.

You tried to brush it off, gulping nervously and telling them you just weren’t in the mood. Harry was skeptical, he knew you better than you knew yourself and you seemed really nervous at the slight intrusion, you also hadn’t mentioned feeling off in any way to him.

He made a mental note to ask about it when you got home later, not wanting to bring it up in front of your families just in case.

When you got home that night, both you, Harry and Lily were exhausted. He offered to go and put her to bed, letting you do whatever you needed so you could get in bed.

Even after taking the time to read your angel a quick bedtime story, Harry still ended up in bed before you, ignoring your eye roll at how eager he was to sleep.

“I’m still sad I wasn’t allowed to see your dress,” he whined. You just giggled, pulling back the covers of your bed and climbing in next to him. You laid beside him, the two of you laying in a comfortable silence, just appreciating being near each other. You could tell just from the dazed expression on his face that he was picturing it.

“I can’t wait to marry you.” Your heart practically exploded in your chest, turning your head on the pillow so you could admire your fiancé.

“About that,” you winced. Harry’s eyes widened, snapping towards you out of fear. 

“Oh no, do you not-“ you cut him off instantly, shaking your head rapidly at his statement. You felt guilty for worrying him.

“It’s nothing like that, I promise.” His heart was still beating irregularly. You took a deep breath, smiling at him nervously, while blindly searching for his hand to hold.

“I think we need to push the wedding back a little,” you explained. His eyebrows furrowed, cocking his head like a confused puppy. He asked why, happily letting you take his hand in yours. You guided his hand to your stomach, trying to see if he would get the hint. It did take him a few minutes for it to sink in but he eventually gasped in surprise.

“You’re pregnant?” he asked, tears welling in his eyes.

“Yeah,” you cried, giggling to yourself as he practically tackled you in a hug. He let a few tears slip, not even bothering to wipe them away, “I wanted to tell you better than this but, here we are.”

“I had an idea, I noticed you weren’ drinking,'' you rolled your eyes. You hadn’t thought that would’ve been obvious. He shook his head, unable to tear his eyes away from you and your stomach. “I can’t believe it.” He refused to stop pressing kisses to different parts of your face, your laugh echoing around your shared room.

“I love you so much,” he whispered. You leaned forward and rested your forehead on his, smiling softly at him, while watching all the emotions swimming in those brown eyes. “Thank you for giving me the perfect family.”

This pregnancy was even better than your first one. Harry was much more attached this time and he barely ever let his hands leave your belly when he could.

In the beginning you would slap his hands away, telling him to stop so your families wouldn’t suspect anything. He would obviously take offense, just wanting to be close to his love and his growing child. But as it got harder and harder to hide, Harry would give you those puppy dog eyes that you couldn’t say no to.

This pregnancy felt different on some level, even though you had Harry the first time around too, this felt much more personal and you weren’t sure if it was because this time around, the baby was his.

He would often be encouraging Lily to talk to the baby with him, about anything and everything they could think of.

It had become one of Harry’s favourite things to do to talk to the baby. Anytime he could he’d be lifting up your shirts to just below your bra and pressing kisses to different spots on your protruding belly, telling the growing baby a story about his day.

That’s what was currently happening here. You were all ready to go to sleep when Lily had claimed she had a nightmare, tears running down her face, crawling into your bed for some comfort. Harry’s attempt at calming her down was by distracting her with talking to your five month pregnant belly.

He lifted up his old shirt you were wearing, placing a few greeting kisses on your stomach. He got comfortable on his elbows before motioning for Lily to follow, having her lay down on your other side.

“Come on angel, that’s your sibling in there.” Harry had been trying forever to get her to just talk to the baby, but she clearly didn’t grasp the concept of where the baby even was because she couldn’t see them.

“But there’s nothing there,” she pouted, laying her head on your chest. You ran your fingers through her tangled hair, just like your other hand was doing with Harry’s hair.

Lily watched as he began to tell the baby anything that popped into his head, rubbing his thumb over the skin gently. She shuffled down the bed, placing her tiny hand on your belly, trying to mimic her dad’s actions. She started to tell them a random story about her day with her uncle Tom, something about what had happened in the film they’d watched. The whole experience was actually quite soothing to you, giving you a chance to close your eyes and try to fall asleep while your two angels did their thing.

A sudden and slight flinch and your eyes snapping open alerted your fiancé, the man looking at you concerned. 

“They kicked,” you laughed, “I think they like their sisters' voices.” Lily’s eyes widened, letting you guide her hand to where the kick had been. You told her to keep talking, not having to wait long for another energetic kick from your bub.

“See, they like you already,” Harry smiled, nudging her shoulder gently.

“Can we talk to them everyday?” 

When you first told your angel she was over the moon, she was really excited at the idea of having a sibling and it warmed your heart to see. Nothing had changed from when you told her to know, the obvious baby bump being the centre of her constant giddy moods.

It eventually got to the point where there was no way you could hide it from family members any longer, and you had to tell your families about the pregnancy and postponing the wedding.

“So, we have some news,” you announced, gaining everyone around the table's attention. You squeezed Harry’s hand, running your hands over the material of your loose dress and pulling it tight against your belly.

There was a chorus of gasps, a few tears and lots of hugs from your families, hearing congratulations upon congratulations. You couldn’t help but glance at your fiancé while in a hug with his twin. You both sent each other lovesick smiles from the embraces you’d been dragged into, your hearts warm.

It felt like the last few months were over in seconds, and you were definitely going to miss it. The back rubs from Harry, the constant helping you and even the practically never leaving your side, you were surprisingly going to miss that too.

Your water breaking was nowhere near as chaotic as the first time, things were much calmer the second time around. Harry called one of his brothers, you couldn’t be sure which one in the moment, and asked them to meet you at the hospital so they could watch Lily. He then helped you into the car, making sure to give you a break when a contraction would hit, allowing you to squeeze the life out of his hand.

It was incredibly early for Lily, so she seemed to fall asleep as soon as she was settled in her car seat, a soft smile on Harry’s face just looking at her. He was about to be a dad again.

He tried to get there as quick as he could, finding Tom waiting outside in the early morning cold. You gathered that Tom was the brother he’d called earlier, but right now you didn’t really care. He greeted you politely, taking a sleeping Lily from her car seat while Harry helped you inside.

After you were given something for the pain, you seemed more concerned with if your family members were aware of the incoming new arrival, rather than actually being in labour. Something that Harry had to remind you was much more important.

“Did you call or-“ Harry cut you off, brushing some sweaty hair out of your face.

“I sent a text to everyone, okay, stop worrying.” you nodded your head, taking deep breaths to try and ease the pain that was still lingering. Harry didn’t let up playing with your hair, placing the occasional kiss on your hairline and always whispering words of encouragement to get you through.

You didn’t realise how much relief you’d get when the doctor told you it was time, a flood of thanks flowing through you as you were finally able to get this baby out.

This one took longer than the last, your new baby turning out to be a lot more stubborn than Lily was already, but you were eventually greeted with the cries of a newborn echoing around the room.

Harry choked back tears hearing that it was a boy, ignoring your teasing comment about the Holland curse as he got a look at his baby.

The boy was passed to you first, letting you get a good look at him. At first glance, he seemed to be a perfect mix of you and Harry, but when you really took the time to study him, you noticed all the features that were his dads. That button nose of his that you completely adored, those honey brown eyes that you’d spent hours staring into on some days. 

You could feel Harry watching you both from where he resided next to your bed. Snapping a quick picture that you’d be able to look back on whenever you wanted. You ran your hand over your boy's head, kissing his forehead and then glancing up to your fiance.

“He looks like you, he’s so beautiful.”

Harry’s heart swelled, itching to get the chance to hold his new son. Before Lily came in to be introduced to her new little brother, Harry got to cradle him, noting every one of his features to memory. Especially noticing the ones that he believed belonged to you.

“He’s perfect,” he whispered. Your heart fluttered a little, watching how he was so mesmerized with the new life in his arms. He placed gentle kisses on his chubby cheeks, choking up when his tiny hand wrapped around his finger. You let him have his moment, taking this chance for yourself to relax a little bit. A single tear rolled down his cheek and he didn’t even attempt to hide it, allowing you to get an insight on how truly happy he was right now. It felt like the first time he’d held Lily in his arms over three years ago. He remembered the moment where he stayed mesmerised with her for eyes, analysing every little mark on her face that resembled you. That was the day Harry properly fell in love with the tiny angel, and it was happening all over again right now.

You hated to interrupt his moment but you also wanted to let the tired, and probably very bored, girl in the waiting room have the chance to meet her brother. 

“Can you go get Lily, please?” you asked. He nodded slowly, hesitantly handing you the little angel wrapped in blue back. He pressed a long kiss to your forehead, partly thanking you for giving him his angel, well both of his angels, and also silently telling you how proud and amazed he was at what you’d just done.

You talked to your son quietly while Harry was gone, even if it was only for a few minutes and even if he didn’t understand what you were saying. Reaching his little hand up to grab you as if he recognised your voice from all the conversations you’d had with him while you were pregnant.

“There’s someone we want you to meet,” he whispered, guiding her sleepy frame into the hospital room. She seemed hesitant, her lack of sleep leaving her confused. She couldn’t see anyone else in the room but you and her dad.

“Lily, c’mere,” you cooed. Harry lifted her onto the hospital bed beside you, giving her the perfect view of the baby boy. “This is your little brother.”

Harry watched you introduce your new babe to Lily, the girl watching her new baby sibling in awe. She seemed to lose all traces of sleep the second she saw him, becoming completely obsessed with the tiny human in front of her.

It’d definitely taken you both time to get here, to become a family, arguably too long for that matter, but Harry felt like this was right, he felt complete, and he was sure that he now always would.

always taglist - @hopelessly-harry @iwearheadphones @thevelvetseries @minejungwoo @siriuslyslyslytherin @givebuckyhisplumsnow @itstaskeen @icyhollands @starkweasley @hollandcrush @zspideyy @hopeless-romantic-baby

[herondaleholly31]

That’s My Girl Chris Evans X Reader

Overview: You and Chris are going to see your daughter perform in her first talent show. Chris helped with her performance and its a little different from what you would’ve expected...

AN: Another Chris one for you guys! Now that Knives Out is coming out, I’ve had people desperate for more Chris, and this idea melted my heart. This is inspired by a scene from one of my favourite TV shows if you know it message me ;) Thank you for the support as always!

Like and Reblog!

 Word count:2300

"nononono" you panicked as you felt you ankle wobble dangerously. Running on cobblestones In heels was dangerous, and a broken ankle was the last thing you needed right now. You slowed down to an uncomfortable fast walk-jog, willing for your ankles to not snap like sticks. It had started to snow, the first time this winter, and you buried your chin into your scarf so to keep your teeth from chattering. The clock in the local church chimed 7:30 causing your head to whip up in alarm and your heel to skid across a particularly icy cobble. You felt your whole body move back and that gut-wrenching shot of panic flashed through your brain as you saved yourself at the last minute from falling. You felt your phone buzz in your pocket, the third time in the past half an hour. You fished it out and shoved it between your ear and shoulder, rounding the corner to beams of saturated yellow light "I'm here, I'm literally outside…… I'm fine love…..yes there was an issue at work that I had to stay for, but I'm here now……okay……I'll see you in a second." 

Oak-field catholic school came looming out the darkness, brightly lit up with banners already hanging limply from the steady fall of snow. You skidded up the steps, taking two at a time, to almost trip and fall on the last one. You bag swung around on your shoulder and almost took out a grandfather walking behind you.

"I am SO sorry, Sir!" You gasped "Honestly If I've hurt you-"

"Swinging for the elderly?" A voice joked "I thought we said you wouldn't do that anymore." Chris was standing by the open door, smiling. He walked over, apologised once more to the old man and his wife, before turning back to you, shaking his head. He was wrapped up in a dark jacket over his favourite blue shirt, and his shoes had been cleaned, so they gleamed; he had obviously dressed up the occasion. His hair was still a little messy from a day of running his hands through it, and the sight alone caused you to sigh with joy.

"I'm an addict I couldn't help it," You joked. "Hi."

"Hello." He grinned. He pulled you in for a quick hug, planting a soft kiss by your ear. "How was your day?"

"I don't want to talk about it." 

"Duly noted. Come on," Chris kept his arm hooked around your waist as you both walked into the school "the show hasn't started yet." 

"I thought I was going to miss her." 

"And that would've made you a terrible parent." 

"It would've." It was good to relax and joke around after the day you'd just had, you could already feel the knot in your shoulders start to loosen. You said hi to Lina's mum as you passed and nodded to Sister Margret, who jerked curtly back. The pair of you was just quickly catching up about to head into the hall when a small voice could be heard just behind to you. 

"Dad?" 

Connie had poked her head out the backstage door. She looked like she was going to be sick; pale skin, sweaty forehead, her nails bitten down to the surface. Her eyes were wide and desperate, and this caused Chris to run over and lean down on one knee. You watched from a distance; Connie didn't like being nervous in front of you because she knew it caused you to become overprotective. You saw Connie shake her head and the words "I can't do it," be said before Chris lightly put a hand over her mouth. He shook his head and spoke soft words, moving the hand to then to bring her head forward so he could kiss the top of her head. Chris said something that caused your daughter to laugh weakly before she said something that caused a belt of laughter from him. He then pulled her in briefly, their cheeks squishing together as he hugged her tight before chivying her lightly towards the door. One last high five and then she slipped backstage again, leaving her Dad to run back over to you smiling.

"Everything okay?"

"yea she's fine. Last-minute nerves. We've been rehearsing all day though so she knows what she's doing."

"I'm just looking forward to FINALLY seeing this secret performance," you said as you entered the auditorium where rows of creaky chairs were set up facing the stage. The sound of a generic TV show single was on a loop through the speakers on either side of the stage, buzzing slightly with the increase of base every few seconds. The air of you headed to two seats in the third row on the inside end, meaning you had the perfect view without having to crane your necks. There was a pause while you both flicked through the programme and said hi to parents of friends and to say hi to that one hysterical fan (there was always one) before you couldn't resist any more.

"Are you going to give me ANY hints about what she's doing." 

"Nope."

'Nothing at all?"

"It's a surprise." 

"Should I film it?" 

"Oh absolutely," there was a glint in your husband's eye that for some reason caused you to become suspicious "we're never going to want to forget this." 

You wanted to ask more, but then the lights went down and a thunder of applause. One of the sisters was standing just by the stage with a microphone in one hand and a notebook in the other, from which she read out "Ladies and Gentlemen, welcome to Oak-field's Talent Extravaganza. Now, please put your hands together for Alice and her jumping juggling friends." 

******* 

"She's next, she's next!" You squired in your seat with impatience, excitement starting to bubble in your chest. Chris handed you his phone, and you set up the camera, propping it up on your bag so the performance could be filmed. "I'm nervous, why am I nervous she's doing the show not me. Oh gosh, I'm panicking-"

"Hon she's going to be fine!" But he still reached out and grabbed your hand, squeezing it in reassurance. His jiggling knee also gave it away that he too was feeling a little nervous, and that oddly calmed you a little. 

The lights went down once more, and there was a smattering of polite applause. Lina walked out first, her smile full and confident, strutting over to her spot with rehearsed purpose before standing with her hand on her hip, poised. Connie, with her smaller physique and her curly hair already coming loose from her ponytail, gave the image of someone who was more reserved and shy. You watched her eyes rake the crowd before she caught your eye. You gave her a small wave; Chris lifted his arm so his thumbs up could be seen over the group. This reassurance caused Connie to nod in determination, before gripping her hand onto her hip, smiling widely. A click of the stereo and the slightly tinny sound of an old Judy Garland song started to play. This granted a nod of approval from Sister Margret. A very devout woman of the church who before the show had sent a list of songs and artists that were "recognised as inappropriate and would therefore not be tolerated." She was also a massive Judy Garland fan and had, therefore, lacked hesitation when putting the girls into the show. The CD stuttered, then the tinny backing track to "somewhere over the rainbow" rang out through the old speakers. The girls started their routine, slowly swaying back and forth, little voices sweet and nervous but to you the loveliest sound. You beamed widely, tears already clogging your eyes and pride burst through your chest. Everyone else saw the charm in it too; the grandparents in front of you cooed at each other about how cute she was. You wanted she lean over and say "she's my daughter," but that would distract you from the show. 

A couple lines in, however, the music scratched, stuttered, and then stopped. The hall was silent. Both girls stood in stage, looking at each other and then back out into the audience. Your heart lept into your mouth. You tried to catch Connie's eye, but this was causing you to panic more. "We have to do something," you hissed to Chris. 

"Just wait." 

BAM! Bass blasted out of the speakers, shuddering the ground. Both girls grinned widely before throwing off the big jumpers they both wore, to reveal t-shirts decorated with flashing stars to match the socks they both pulled up to their knees. Horrified, you heard the lyrics to an all too familiar song.

'I was like

Good gracious- ass is bodacious 

Flirting to show my patience 

I'm waiting for the right time to shoot my steez….'

And without hesitation, both girls started dancing perfectly in time, jumping, sliding and turning, never missing a note as they lip-synced along. There was a roar of noise from the audience, a mixed response of anger and howling laughter. You turned to Chris, who was roaring with laughter, rolling back and forth on his chair, clapping loudly. 

"You taught our daughter the lyrics to Hot in Here by NELLY?"

"But," Chris had to collect himself for a second he was laughing so hard "but doesn't she look great!"

"CHRISTOPHER!" 

"It's a great song! Look, they're just coming up to the chorus." You turned back in time to see you, daughter, mouth the lyrics I am getting so hot right now, imma take my clothes off before throwing herself into a cartwheel. You were so shocked you burst out laughing, and then you couldn't stop. It was brilliant, they'd obviously spent hours on it. The audience was loving it too, most of their classmates cheering them in next to their slightly shell shocked but amused parents. The Sisters, on the other hand, looked horrified, Sister Margret was shaking in her seat, her face so stern it looked as if her forehead was about to crack in two. She started to feverishly whisper to the sister next to her. She jumped out of her seat and scurried behind the speakers, desperately trying to unplug them. Connie and Lina kept going, never missing any lyrics or steps. The speakers were eventually cut off, and the hall erupted into thundering applause. Chris stood up, whopping and pointing proudly at his daughter. "That's my girl! That's my daughter!" You laughed at his yells of pride and stood up with him, clapping widely. The lights went up, and Connie's eyes went straight to the pair of you. She was blushing, but when she saw you, she beamed and waved. A sister grabbed both of them by the shoulder and frog-marched them off stage to a waiting Sister Margaret. She beckoned Chris over too, and for the first time, Chris's jubilation faltered. 

"I think I'm about to get told off." 

********

"Again," Chris said for the fourth time "I am so sorry for getting you into trouble honey." Connie poked her head up from her giant bowl of ice cream.

"It's only a week of no break times Dad. Besides, it gives us time to learn our next dance."

"Next dance?" You frowned.

"Lina's older sister wants us to do another dance for her birthday, to a song called s&m?" Connie shrugged "should be fun." 

Chris's eyes widened, but you shook your head. Maybe not tonight. Instead, he went up and refilled all your ice cream pots, putting on so many reeses pieces the ice cream was lost. It was Connie's favourite though, and she squealed in delight before tucking in once more. 

"But I'm proud of you." Chris threw his arm over his daughter and brought her into his side, her head barely reaching his shoulder. He kissed her head and smiled proudly towards you "didn't she do amazing?" 

"You did amazing," you smiled. 

Connie blushed once more. "Lina was better at the dancing than me." 

"Are you kidding? You got moves, kid! Just like your mother," Chris winked, this time causing your cheeks to tinge pink. Praise and jokes were exchanged until it was time for them to go, the streets cold and icy with snow. Although she was nearly 9, Chris hooked Connie by her armpits and swung her onto his shoulders, one hand holding onto her wriggling foot, so she didn't fall off. The other handheld yours, making sure he kept close to you as you gingerly walked in your heels to the car. The snow was still falling in from the sky, and it stuck to your coat and to Chris's beard and made Connie look like a little old woman, her hair was so white. She squealed in delight not caring, sticking her little pink tongue out, trying to catch any snowflakes. It was the perfect image, and you feel your heart warm, seeing your small family together. 

'I haven't done something yet today," Chris suddenly said. 

"What?" 

Chris stopped you for a second to lean in and give you a quick kiss, his lips warm and slightly cracked. He broke then there was another, and then he brought your intertwined hands up to his lips to kiss your hand, where your matching wedding bands knocked against each other. There were flecks of white clinging to his eyelashes, and his eyes glittered from the string of lights everywhere. "I love you both so much."

"I love you too." 

"Love you three times !" Connie smiled. You both chuckled and continued to walk towards the car "Love you four times" Chris retorted. 

"Love you five times." 

"Six times."

"Ten times."

"A hundred times." 

"One Gazillion and three!" Connie yelled, her smile triumphant. 

"Wow. One Gazillion and three," Chris smiled to you "we're pretty damn lucky." 

You squeezed his hand. "We really are." 

[acopenhagenarmy]

RESPECT - 3

Pairing: BTS x reader but mostly hyung-line x reader

Mafia!au - gang!au - assassins!au

Word count: 3.6k ish

Warnings: Mentions of violence, swearing and some fluff if you squint. 

Summary: Growing up in one of the biggest and most feared mafias has it’s perks, but what happens when you and you’re friends are suddenly shipped off to the other end of the world? Will you stay together or will the world you live in tear you all apart?

Part one / Part two / Part three / 

Taglist: @purpletaehyung92 @jinmydarling​ @diefranzel​

You woke up the following morning after a good night sleep, something you were incredibly grateful for, because today was the day of your first classes. You didn’t quite know exactly what you’d be learning on this school, and whenever you or the boys had asked in the past, the answer had always been: “You’ll find out one day”

A quick shower later and you were out the door, walking straight for Jimin’s room as usual. It was a little weird that you wouldn’t be heading for the gym, as you’ve done every morning for the past three years. But you guessed it would be best to get a new routine as long as you were here, maybe the two of you would grab a coffee each morning like every other normal pair of siblings in their start twenties?  No, that didn’t really sound like the two of you…

You knocked on the door one time, which was quickly opened by a very bare chested Jungkook. He was beautiful, there was no denying that. He had a body that looked like it was shaped by gods. And even though you’d seen it a million times before, during and after workouts, it still made your breath hitch.

“Good morning Y/N!” He took a step aside to make room for you to enter their shared room. You looked around the space, it was bigger than yours, but then again, they were two people so that was only fair.

“Jimin is styling his hair, he’s been in the bathroom for ten minutes, so I guess he’ll be done in five” He laughed a little at his own statement, Jimin was known for being the late one and even more known for his hair.

“Fuck you Kookie!” You could hear your brother yell from the bathroom.

You sat down on one of the beds as you watched Jungkook as he got dressed.

“How did you sleep Kook?” You ran your hand over the tiger stripes on your arm, calming some of the nerves you had for the upcoming day.

He shrugged.

“Okay I guess… It’s kind of weird sleeping in another bed, but I guess I’ll get used to it. How about you?”

“Pretty good, but then again I think my massive hangover, the jetlag and so on had something to with it”

Jungkook finally put on a shirt as he ruffled his hair a little, something he had learned always made you a little sheepish.

“Sure, I guess sleep was what you needed then”

Jimin then entered the room making the both of you look his way.

“Hey you, what are you doing here?” He walked over and placed his hand on your shoulder as he squeezed it a little. The two of you had what people would call the twin gene, you always knew when something was bothering the other, even if you weren’t in the same room.

“I don’t know to be honest. It just feels weird to break our morning routine, so I just figured we could do something before class starts. I like that your face is the first I see every morning”

He gave you a big smile, one of those that made his eyes disappear into crescent moons.

“I would love that Y/N”

You knew that he would agree before you asked, but somehow you were still relived. You could almost physically feel some of the weight lift from your shoulders. Make you release a breath you hadn’t realized you were holding in.

“So, what should we do then? I mean we can’t just sit around, that’s not really our style” Jimin said.

“How about we go out and explore some of this gigantic building, and figure something out?”

“You got yourself a deal sis!”

---

When you stepped into the gym for your first class you couldn’t help the smile that spread across your lips. The giant hall looked very similar to the gym you had left back home. The boxing equipment hang in the ceiling and on the walls, as well as the ring that was placed in the center of the room.

A man walked in and stood in front of the class, taking in every one of the young and eager people that stood before him.

“Listen up people! Every day, from now until the day you leave this place, will start here. The first three hours of every day will begin in this hall. This is the only place in this entire city you can beat the living shit out of each other, and only if I give my permission”

He was a giant, at least two meters tall, and almost just as wide, he had biceps that almost looked bigger than Jungkook’s thighs. An impressive sight, one that made you smirk a little. But unlike those doe-eyed women in your class it wasn’t because of his looks, no, a man like that had perfected his skill, and you were honored to learn from the very best.

“Pair up people, two and two and warm up”

You could see the spark in Jungkook’s eyes as he dragged Hobi to the nearest punching bag. He had a jump in his walk when he was happy, one that only enhanced his bunny looks.

You turned towards Jimin, as he held out his fist for you to bump, he smiled, and you returned it instantly.

“I guess we’ve found our morning routine after all, huh?”

You laughed as you quickly wrapped your hands to protect them from the possible injuries, and unlike most of the people in the hall, the two of you did it in mere seconds.

“Yeah we sure have” you laughed, but as your sentence ended you threw a punch towards your brothers face, one he stopped a centimeter before your fist would’ve broken his nose.

“You’re just as big a bitch in the morning in New York as you are in Seoul”

“Don’t worry brother, I’ll be in a much better mood after I kick your ass a few times the next few hours”

Your quickly redirected your other arm to aim for his gut, another punch he avoided quiet easily. Causing the both of you to smile. The two of you fought in the sidelines of the gym, just like you would’ve done at home, warming up the bodies and teasing whenever the other was to slow to block a punch.  

And not far away stood Taehyung, daydreaming as he watched how your body moved. He had never been a big fan of hand to hand combat. He understood the importance of knowing how to defend yourself without a weapon, but weapons were his thing!

Taehyung was what his members called a trigger-happy man-child. He always had a minimum of five weapons on him, and every single one of them was hidden. He might not be a geek when it came to computers like Namjoon, or a poison master like Seokjin. But he knew his weapons, and he had a serious doubt that he would every be caught in a situation where he would be without one.

“Look at him, he’s pathetic” a curly haired man close to him said to his friend.

“Shawn, please stop, will you?”  

At no point did Tae realize that the two men, standing only a few meters away, was talking about him. You and your brother had his full attention and he was captured in another world, a world of beauty, bruises and blood.

“Does he seriously think he’ll ever have a chance with her? I mean she’s the most powerful woman in all of Asia, if not the world! Does he really think he’d ever stand a chance? She’s the kind of woman who would eat him for breakfast, and not in a hot kind of way”

Jungkook and Hoseok both stood close enough to overhear the talk between the two men, and as much as they both felt sorry for the Min’s maknae, there was no way in hell they were gonna blow their cover to save his pride and reputation.

Shawn clearly had an opinion about you, and as your men it was their job to figure out if this guy, were your friend or enemy. And up until now he didn’t leave either of them with a very good impression.

“He might just be admiring their combat style?”

“Seriously? Because I really don’t think so. They are up to something, I’m sure they are. And don’t worry my man, when I’ve figured it out, she’s gonna be thanking me”

“She doesn’t really strike me as the type of woman that needs saving Shawn”

“She does, they all do in the end. They are women for god sakes!”

Hoseok cleansed his jaw as a raging fire took over his eyes. He stared at the man before him, and if eyes could kill, Shawn had been dead right then and there. Jungkook looked at his friend with concern.

Just as his brother, Jungkook could feel the rage in his veins, but he was much better at containing it. He had practiced that since his first fight. His emotions were put into his fighting, every single drop of rage, jealousy and lust was redirected into every punch of his opponent’s face.

Hoseok took a step forward, set out to give this person a piece of his mind. The only thing stopping him was Jungkook’s hand on his chest, stopping him in his tracks.

“Don’t do it Hobi, he’s not worth it and we both know that Y/N wouldn’t like us meddling in her business”

Hoseoks eyes had so much hate in them. His love for you were known by everyone except you, his need for you was bigger than his need for the air in his lungs. He wanted to protect you from everyone and everything, his life’s mission was to keep you safe. So this scenario was killing him.

A person falling to the ground was what dragged the boys from their discussion, and in the other end of the hall they saw Jimin now in laying on the floor. The laugh that followed made every man in the room stop and stare.

It was a laughter so contagious most of those who’ve heard it now had giant grins painted on their lips. Jungkook glanced towards Shawn, even he was affected even though he did his best to hide it.

“Imagine that Justin, getting your ass handed to you by a girl. Do you think he falls to the ground because she’s his leader or because she’s a girl?” Shawn said.

What he didn’t think of was the fact that the hall had been almost completely quiet after you had beat Jimin’s ass to the ground, so words that had previously been muffled was now clear to hear for everyone.

Jungkook had in a millisecond pushed Hobi out of his way and had now Shawn’s neck in the palm of his hand as he pushed the American boy towards the nearest wall.

“What did you just say about her?!” Jungkook was the strongest and best in hand to hand combat, he had dedicated his skill to you and your family and taught you everything he knew. You were almost as good as he was, almost. Which meant that when Shawn criticized your fighting skills, he criticized Jungkook as well. Something he most certainly didn’t appreciate.

Shawn smirked a little at Jungkook as you quickly turned on your heel and ran towards the drama that was unfolding only a couple of meters away.

“Jungkook!” You yelled as you curled your hands into fists.

You were ready to fight him, and he knew that. You’d done it before when he was out of line, and usually you were able to talk him down, but he was so close to seeing red and beating this kid up in front of everyone. Even if it compromised his spot in the school, no one disrespected you and walked away without a scar.

He lifted his arm to punch, but you were able to grab it only millimeters before Shawn’s perfect sculpted nose would’ve been ruined by his fist. You were fully focused on your friend with a stern look painted on your usually kind and beautiful features.

“Walk away from this Jeon”

You were able to pull his attention away from his victim, but you’d broken his spirit. He’d never seen himself as a Jeon, he considered himself a Park, in fact you all did, but you had to think of the bigger picture. And if hurting him meant he would stay by your side and finish this god forsaken school, well then, that was a price you were ready to pay.

He slowly loosened his hand from the neck he wanted to break and bowed before you. Then he stepped away leaving you alone and unprotected as he stood beside Hoseok.

“I know you don’t know me, at least not from anything more than reputation, but if I ever hear you disrespect me or my men again… You will suffer the consequences”

You turned on you heal to walk away as your eyes met Jimin’s who stood a little behind, he smiled. You felt you’d handled this right with no blood spilled.

“I see… In reality you do none of the fighting. Is that how the Parks do it? Huh? If that’s the case, then you are nothing more than a housewife who send your men into battle to die”

Jimin’s eyes lit up, a spark of playfulness took over him. He was a little pissed off that you didn’t have your katana with you, but then again if you did, Shawn would most likely had lost his head by now.

“Take his ear Y/N, when he won’t listen to you, he doesn’t deserve it” He whispered.

A sinister chuckle was all that left your lips right before you pulled one of Jimin’s knives from its holster in his belt. You swirled around on your tip toes and then, let the knife fly towards Shawn’s face. He didn’t get to blink, nor flinch, before the blade had secured itself a spot in the wall, and it didn’t mind the flesh that stood in its way.

“Learn to listen to those who are above you little man. I might be a woman, but that doesn’t make my unworthy”

You walked away before anyone had the chance to question what you’d just done. In the room surrounding you was all you could hear Taehyung’s laugh muffled together with Shawn’s screams.

---

You stood against one of the walls and looked up at the sealing as you tried to calm your heartbeat. You knew you’d fucked up, and you hoped that you’d be able to talk some sense into Dominic, so that he wouldn’t expel you from the school.

He stepped into the room and walked behind his desk without even looking at you. He threw his glasses on the table and after he sat down, he buried his head in his hands.

“You are making my job very difficult Y/N… I wasn’t expecting to handle something like this so soon”

You took a few step forwards as you said; “I know sir, and I’m sorry. But I just… I had to do something! It’s bad enough that people in my own gang start to question me and my leadership skills, but I need to put myself in respect while I’m here. I need people to know that they should fear and respect me, just as their parents fear and respect my father”

He looked at you for a few seconds before a sigh escaped his lips.

“I know. I knew it would be difficult for you, you are the first female leader we have, to roam these halls. But did you have to dismantle the boys ear Y/N?”

You looked at your hands and smiled as you rotated your ring around your finger. The smirk gave you a sinister appearance as your eyes went cold, the spark and fun disappeared in less than a second. And then you looked back at Mr. Holland.

“Maybe I did, maybe I didn’t” You shrugged.

What you did might not have been the wisest in the situation, the best thing would probably had been to kick Shawn’s ass in the ring instead, but the psychopath that hid inside all of you took over, and she wanted blood.

“Try using your words in the future, or at least your fists”

A light chuckle filled the room.

“Trust me sir, if I wanted him to die, I would’ve let Kook finish him. This was the better outcome. What I do is different from all those before me and those who are here this year, and if blood is how I earn the respect I deserve then so be it. I’m ready to pay the price for that”

You could tell that he was concerned, but at this point you didn’t care. You were no princess in need of savior, but for some reason you needed to make that very clear to every man around you except your father.

He knew in his heart and soul you had what it would take to do this, if you didn’t, he would’ve picked Jimin as his successor instead of you.

“You are a strong woman Y/N, but you are stubborn. There are other ways to command respect apart from spilling blood. I know your father has taught you that. You need to find a way to do that without becoming a tyrant, because they are never on top for long, in the end their people rise up against their oppressor. Find another way, find your way”

You stared him down as you held back the need to bide the inside of your cheek. Your arms were now crossed over your chest, you knew deep down he was right, and you hated every second of it.

“Is that all?”

“That’s all for now, but please don’t let it happen again”

Two steps later you were out the door. Your blood was rushing through your veins, anger building up in your chest. You saw nothing and heard nothing, not until your body was slammed up against the wall and a pair of hooded eyes were all you could see.

His hands were warm and soothing as they held your shoulders back. Normally every instinct in your body would tell you to run, but instead you relaxed completely as he touched you.

“Breathe Y/N, okay? Just breathe”

Your eyes darted between his and your body trembled as he pulled a little further away from you, but he never let go. You had never studied anyone up close like this before.

His brows were low set above his eyes, giving him a somewhat gentle expression. His eyes were small and turned downward a little, but there was a gentle and almost loving spark hidden in the brown irises, right underneath the cocky demeanor he tried so desperately to pull off.

You could see his lips move, but you heard nothing. They weren’t thick nor thin, but as he talked, they revealed a pout every now and then. One that pulled on your heartstring and made you smile.

Just like you he was in a trance, he had no idea why he came to see you, no idea why he wanted to make sure you were okay, but before he could even talk himself out of it, he was outside Mr. Hollands office. And now that you were so close to him, so close to being in his arms, he didn’t want to let go. He couldn’t even if he wanted to.

“Calm yourself, don’t let the rest of them see you like this. You can’t let them know you are hurt by this”

You pushed him away instantly.

“I’m not hurt!” You spat out.

“Okay right let’s go with that” He leaned up against the wall opposite from where you were standing as he smirked with his arms crossed.

“I’m not!” You yelled out as you hit the wall three times.

By the third blow you could almost feel your skin ripping from the bones against the black brick wall. You rested your forehead against it in a desperate try to cool the fire you felt burning within.

A sigh was all he heard as he watched you. How your hell fell down your shoulders, he could glimpse the skin on the back of your neck. When you sat down on the floor, with your back against the wall to study your hand, he did the same.

“Why are you’re here Yoongi?” You never met his eyes, you focused completely on your hand instead of those beautiful eyes.

“I don’t know” He said, it was nothing more than a whisper, but you heard him none the less.

Yoongi cleared his throat a few times, almost to clear the air from the tension there was between the two of you.

“What are you gonna do now Y/N?”

“I don’t real- wait how do you know my name?” You smirked and once again your eyes met his. He almost lost his breath completely. He shrugged and started playing with the earring that hang in right ear.

“I have my ways, but don’t worry I’ll keep it to myself if that’s what you’d prefer”

A heat blossomed in your chest as well as your cheeks.

“Thank you, I’d appreciate it, at least for now. But to be honest I don’t know what to do, at least not right now”

He nodded.

“If you need help or just someone to talk to, I’ll be there listening and trying my best to give you some advice”

With that Yoongi stood up, sent a smile your way, and then he left you.

[heauxplesslydevoted]

Like A Ton of Bricks (Ethan x f!MC)

I miss Ethan. And I literally wrote this all within a few hours, while watching reruns of Chopped. Enjoy!

Summary: Ethan has an epiphany during a quiet night in with his girlfriend.

Word Count: 1.3k

Warning: None. Fluff, and more fluff.

Tag List: @canknot @lapisreviewsstuff @x-kyne-x @paulfwesley @ramseyandrys @choicesobsessedd @a-i-n-a-a-s-h @sparklinglilac  @cream-ray @perriewinklenerdie @barricades-of-freedom @dr-brianna-casey-valentine @doroshi-desu

When Ethan arrives home, he’s greeted by the sound of music. The sultry voice of Toni Braxton flows through his ears and he’s hit with the smell of...lemons? Interesting.

Leaving his briefcase and jacket at the front door, he walks to the kitchen and sees his girlfriend of six months, Naomi rummaging through his pantry. She’s completely oblivious to his presence, singing loudly, gently swaying her hips to the music. He also spots a candle burning on the counter, the source of the sweet smell filling his apartment.

Eventually she turns around, and nearly drops the box of pasta she’s holding upon seeing Ethan! “Ethan! What are you doing?”

“Admiring the view,” he replies honestly. “Don’t stop on my account.”

“How long were you standing there?”

“Not long.”

“Creep,” Naomi grumbles, but Ethan knows she’s doesn’t really mind. She walks over to the other side of the island and properly greets him with a kiss. “Welcome home, handsome.”

“Thank you.”

“How was work? Did you save lives today?”

“Work was...interesting. Interns get more and more annoying each year.”

“No they don’t. You’re just getting older and grumpier,” Naomi argues with a teasing smile.

“No, they’re so used to being coddled. I’m not the type of doctor that’s going to hold your hand as you’re giving stitches to a patient.”

Naomi runs a hand through Ethan’s hair and he leans into her touch. “Well, the work day is over and you’re here with me now. Can you forget about the hospital and annoying interns for the time being?”

“”With you here? I can manage.”

“Good.”

Ethan settles into a barstool at the island and watches as Naomi gets back to cooking. “What are you making?”

“Shrimp scampi over angel hair pasta. Sound good?”

“Sounds fantastic. Have you been here all day?”

Naomi had the pleasure of an off-day while Ethan worked. He would’ve gladly called in sick to spend the entire day in bed with her, but being the head of the diagnostics team meant he had to be responsible.

“I took Jenner for a walk, and he made tons of friends on the way. And then I went to the grocery store and farmer’s market. Warning, I went a bit overboard with the fruit, so we’re going to be drinking a lot of lemonade. Then I came back here and started cooking. All in all, it was a pretty productive day.”

“Maybe I should give you more off-days if it means I can come home to this sight.”

Naomi turns around and glances at Ethan from over her shoulder. “You like what you see, Dr. Ramsey?”

“I like it a lot. I didn’t know you were so domestic.”

“I have a few secrets. Gotta keep you on your toes.”

A few minutes later, they’re seated at Ethan’s dining table, a bottle of Chardonnay between them.

“I’ve known you well over a year and not once have you mentioned that you were such an amazing cook,” Ethan says, digging into his food.

“When I was younger, I was convinced I’d be a chef,” Naomi admits.

“Really?”

“Yeah. I love food, I get excited to try new recipes, I watched the Food Network religiously. And no one realizes it, but cooking is a science. It might not be as high stakes as a hospital, but it’s full of complexity and intricacy. It’s a puzzle.”

“So what made you become a doctor instead?”

“It was my senior year in high school, and I discovered this super hot shot doctor named Ethan Ramsey, fell in love with medicine, and the rest is history.”

“Ethan Ramsey...I assume he’s good? He sounds fantastic.”

“He’s okay, at best,” Naomi teases.

“We’ll have to agree to disagree,” Ethan shoots back.

“Fine.”

A few hours later, Ethan is sitting in bed, going over some paperwork he needs to sign off on as the department head. He hears Naomi in the en-suite, presumably brushing her teeth or doing some other portion of her nighttime routine.

After a while, he feels her climb on top of him, straddling his waist. Her soft hands slip his glasses off of his face. “Not that I don’t mind the position we’re in but, what are you doing, Rookie?”

“Forcing you to unwind,” Naomi answers. She also takes the paperwork out of his hands. “Leave work at the hospital, please.”

Ethan sighs, but nods anyway. He was such a workaholic before he started dating the younger woman, and she’s slowly made him come out of that habit. He may sigh heavily or roll his eyes every once in a while, but he truly doesn’t mind. Spending time with Naomi was far more interesting than whatever he was looking at a few short seconds ago.

He looks up at his girlfriend, her curly hair framing her face, his old t-shirt that she stole from him hanging loosely off her petite from. She looks adorable. “How do you suppose I unwind?” Ethan’s hands travel up her thighs and settle on her hips. “Because I have a few suggestions.”

Naomi giggles and rolls her eyes, “I’m sure you do.”

“But I’m also content with just being here with you, watching mindless television.”

Naomi rolls over and curls into Ethan’s side. He drapes an arm around her waist. “Whatever we do, I just want you to try to stop being Dr. Ramsey. Just be Ethan. The hospital will still be there tomorrow when we get there.”

“You’re right.”

“I’m always right. Get with the program, Ethan.”

Ethan doesn’t respond and just kisses her forehead. They fall into a comfortable silence, not needing to fill the air with any pointless conversation.

The nights when Naomi stays with him are his favorite. Everything in his apartment feels warm and familiar, like it’s actually a home.

“I love having you here,” he says quietly.

“I love being here.”

“I want you to stay.”

“Of course I’m staying the night, silly.”

“No, I want you to stay permanently.” Ethan sits up, forcing Naomi to sit up with her. He turns to look at her. “Move In with me.”

Naomi is actually stunned into silence at the suggestion. “What?”

“I want you to move in with me,” Ethan says, more firmly this time. 

“Ethan…”

“I love you. And I love having you here with me. I love that you make me excited to come home. I love that for the first time since I’ve lived here, it actually feels like a home, and not just a place for me to sleep in between shifts.”

“Naomi, I don’t say it often enough, but you make life worth living. You’re the only person on earth who I would ever prioritize over work. If anyone else so much as suggested I not think about my job, I would laugh at them, but not you. I don’t want you to just spend the occasional night or two here. I want you here with me, every day. I want to come home to you, every day.”

Naomi doesn’t even realize she’s crying until Ethan wipes a tear away with the pad of his thumb. “What brought all of this on?”

“I don’t know. I guess it just hit me like a ton of bricks tonight, that this could be our lives. And I’ve never felt more at peace.”

“Ethan Ramsey, you have a way with words.”

“Talking about you comes effortlessly.”

Naomi tilts her head up and captures him in a soft kiss. “Yes, I’ll move in with you.”

“Really?”

“Yes!”

Ethan kisses Naomi again, his hands tangling in her hair. “I love you.”

“I love you too.”

“Now...I believe I had a suggestion on how you could help me unwind after such a tiring day.”

Naomi smirks at him. “I think you did. But unfortunately, I’ve forgotten.’

“Oh yeah?”

“Yeah.”

Ethan flips them both over so he’s hovering above her. “Well then, I guess I’ll have to jog your memory.”

[wannabemerida]

I had so much fun writing my first kid fic with the help of my beta, @heartthrobphilly  and basing it off of @bluevlvvt ’s artwork (the link above!) —— Word count: 2.6k Prompt: Phil offers to drive his friends daughter (lola) to her ballet lesson. he runs into a cute dad with his daughter rosie. he offers to drive lola to her ballet lessons every week after that. (slow plot development lol) Warnings: light cursing, angst —— It’s 3:02pm as Phil waits outside of Brookside Elementary School. According to Ian, Lola usually exits through this door and waits to be retrieved from the playground. So far, there’s no sign of the little blonde girl playing outside.

A shout of “Uncle Phil!” catches his attention and he turns around to the soccer pitch just in time to see the kindergartener running at him, embracing him in a hug when they collide. “What are you doing here?”

“I’m taking care of you tonight, remember? Your dad has a big business dinner, and your mom is in Wolverhampton for her job, yeah?”

“Ohhhhh, I just thought Grandma would be taking care of me again,” the six year old explains, not seeming particularly fussed.

“C’mon, let’s head home.”

Two hours later when Phil suggests they order Chinese to the brick house, Lola quickly shuts his craving down. “Uncle Phil, we can’t have Chinese tonight, Thursdays are always Kraft Dinner nights, dummy!”

“Hey Lola, are you done with your dinner? You have ballet soon and still need to get ready!” Seeing Lola’s face that has a bit of the cheesy noodles left on it from quickly scarfing down her meal, Phil grabs a paper towel from the roll on the kitchen counter.

“Yeah! Do you have my leotard?” Phil grabs the light green leotard out of the overnight bag that Lola had brought along, handing it to her with the napkin, (“Lols, you’re a mess!”) her slippers, and a pair of tights.

The drive to the Portner Ballet Studio takes about 15 minutes, with Phil accidentally hitting every red light possible. This causes Lola some distress, claiming that the five minutes she has before class “isn’t enough to talk to Rosie, and she’s the only nice one there that I like.”

Nevertheless, when the raven-haired man and his favorite “niece” enter the building, a small girl with fluffy brown hair immediately runs up to Lola and hugs her. “Rosie, this is my Uncle Phil!

“Lola! You’re finally here! Daddy said you might not be coming today because you’re normally here before me,” the brunette pauses, “but you’re here now, see, Daddy? I told you she would come!”

Phil is frozen. The man who walks up behind Rosie is the most beautiful person Phil has seen, and that’s saying something, considering that Chris Hemsworth exists. But no, the curly brown fringe, hazel eyes, tall, lanky stature, and his soft face (not to mention his monochrome aesthetic and “best dad in the world” travel mug) easily outrank even the likes of Thor.

“Um, hey?” Phil is snapped out of his trance, needing to be able to respond to the greeting. “You’re Lola’s uncle?”

“Well, um, sort of? I’m really good family friends with Lola’s dad, and so I’m kind of an unofficial uncle to her.” Had he been responding to anything else, Phil probably would’ve stuttered, but the number of times he’s had to explain the title makes it so he can explain perfectly, even in front of someone this stunning.

“I’m- I’m Dan.” The two men glance over at the young girls who are chattering animatedly.

“Oh, yeah, Phil Lester.” Dan holds his hand out for a handshake.

“Rosie’s my daughter,” he says quietly, but there’s no mistaking the fondness he has when he says it.

“I can tell, she looks just like you, without the black and white.”

“Oh, I guess we do? My parents keep saying she looks like, um, Angie-” Dan’s voice decrescendos as he gets further along his sentence.

“Angie … is Rosie’s mom?”

“Oh, um, yeah.” Phil’s heart drops.

“Cool.” Not cool. Dan has a wife. Dan had a kid. With his wife.

“Have you got any kids?” Dan asks, a light blush still visible across his cheeks.

“Ah, no, I didn’t have time to find someone in Uni and now I’m single with 2 masters degrees.” Phil unconsciously plots a way to make himself seem more interesting.

“What are they in?” Dan asks, looking genuinely curious.

“I got my first one in English language and linguistics, and my second in post-production editing.”

“What do you do with those? How do they fit together?”

“I’m a special effects engineer for Disney, and they don’t really fit together to be honest,” Phil pauses, “although I do make YouTube videos and that kind of meshes them together,”

“Wow, um, cool,” Dan stutters.

“So what about you?”

“Huh?”

“What’s your job, besides ‘best dad in the world’?”

“Oh, yeah, I’m stupid.” Phil giggles, thinking of how his father would reply with ‘Hi stupid, I’m dad!’. “But I’m a writer for Vogue and I dabble in fashion photography. It’s mainly just taking photos of Rosie if I’m being honest, but the photographers sometimes get sick and I end up doing the shoot.”

“Vogue? Like, the fashion magazine?” Phil doesn’t know much about fashion, but he’s seen the magazine numerous times in the Tesco checkout lane.

“Yeah, well, technically it’s British Vogue, but…”

“Yeah.”

There’s a calm but slightly awkward silence as the conversation loses direction. The two men avoid eye contact, not wanting to make it worse.

The silence is broken by Dan’s tenor voice. “So what films have you worked on?”

“I got to work a bit on Spiderman: Homecoming, but the Live-action Beauty and the Beast was pretty fun. You know the scene where the gold leaf comes off of the ceiling to go on Belle’s dress?” When Dan nods, Phil breaks out into a grin. “That was me.”

“Wow.” Dan breathes out. “After she saw that, she kept trying to put stickers on her ceiling in the hopes that they would transfer to her shirt. It was a nightmare.”

“Ah, sorry.”

“Nah mate, it was kind of funny as well. I’ve got a few photos that I’ll save for when she graduates.”

“She’ll love that,” Phil chuckles, and the deep, throaty sound makes Dan’s heart stutter. “So you’re into fashion?”

Dan blushes. “Yeah? I mean I can’t really afford any designers, but I’ll turn into a fanboy at times.”

“Why do they charge so much? Like, half of the suits these designers make look identical to something I could buy from a department store for thousands of dollars less.”

“Well, a lot of designers carefully hand-make every piece, whereas the stuff you get in a store has probably been made by a pre-programmed machine and poorly paid workers in a factory. There’s also differences in fabric types, quality, and origins. And, a lot of designers will tailor the suit to perfectly fit you for a slightly higher price. If you go to a department store-”

“I see what you mean when you say you turn into a fanboy, but thank you for the mini lesson on why celebrities are willing to spend so much money on a navy tux. Your insights are amusing.” Phil grins.

“Did you also know that navy suits are better investments than black ones? It’s because the blue fits into so many more settings than a black one.”

While Phil could watch Dan talk about his passions for hours, just watching and memorizing how the lines change across his face, and God, that dimple, Phil supposes his relentless staring would get a bit creepy. “So what are the ballet lessons like? I’ve only been to a few of Lola’s performances.”

“Oh, um, well, they spend the first 20 minutes warming up, and then they move to the barre where they practice a bunch of stuff that’s in French that I can’t remember, and then they start to go over the routine for their next performance.”

“What is it?”

“What?”

“Their next performance?”

“Yeah! Sorry, I’m stupid,” Dan blushes for what must be the fiftieth time since he first met Phil. “The studio is putting on The Firebird.”

“No! Um, I mean, you’re not stupid. I’m sure there’s nothing wrong with The Firebird. What is it about?” Phil has heard the name before, but only in the context of movie scores resembling Stravinsky’s composition. “It sounds kind of intense, doesn’t it?”

“Oh, um, I don’t know much, but from what Rosie’s told me, the firebird gets caught by a prince and when he lets her go she helps him defeat the magician to save some princess, but I’m pretty sure I’m missing like half of the plot. I would say to just Google it and not to go by my word,” The nervous laughter emitted by Dan makes Phil instantly worry that he might have made the brunet uncomfortable or misread Dan’s friendliness as a blossoming friendship when it might have been a ploy to gather gossip for the nosy ballet moms.

“Thanks, I think I’ll trust you on that.” Dan offers a small smile at Phil’s response, letting the two men fall into silence as they watch the group of young girls and 3 boys practice their pliés and dégagés. An hour and a half later, the children exit the studio and find their guardians to go home.

“It was nice meeting you, Phil,’’ Dan admits as Rosie and Lola exchange a goodbye hug. The six words send Phil’s heart into overdrive and he feels his cheeks heating up.

“Yeah, you too, Dan,” Phil replies, proud of himself for not tripping over his words. Looking back, Phil’s whole interaction was impressive, considering his track record of ending up injured in some way.

Last time, Phil wound up with a broken ankle, having paid more attention to the cute digital renderer than the set of stairs they were walking down. It wasn’t all for nothing, though, Phil having gained the cute man’s phone number. Not that that did much for his love life, finding out two days that the boy he had his eyes on was dating the very female gaffer of their most recent movie, but that’s not the point.

This time, nothing will happen, because a) Phil dropping Lola off at ballet was a one time thing, so most likely, he’ll never see Dan again, and b) Dan has a daughter, who is his genetically, which means he has (or had) a wife, all summarizing that no matter how cute the brunet is, Dan is straight.

Not that Phil’s brain will accept that Dan is off-limits as a possible partner. Over the next few days, the image of soft brown eyes, curly fringes, and lanky limbs continuously make appearances in the back of Phil’s head. The very effective distractions cause Phil’s co-workers to worry, and PJ’s repetitive “have you been sleeping okay?”s have driven Phil to the point of insanity.

The answer to PJ’s question is quite easily “no”, Phil having only slept well once that week (he refused to admit it but that was the night that he got off to the image of a faceless figure who looked suspiciously like the boy who wouldn’t leave his head.)

By Wednesday, Phil was fed up with his brain’s reaction to not having seen Dan since the previous Thursday. Pulling out his phone, he does the only thing he can think of to satisfy his hungry mind. He calls Ian.

“Phil? Do you need something?” is the answer he gets when Ian finally picks up.

“No, um, I was just wondering, would you like me to take Lola to ballet again tomorrow?” Phil looks at the lines he had written down on a notepad, an effort to keep himself from going into a 20-minute rant about how in love with Dan he is.

“Sure, I guess? Why are you offering?”

“Just thought that you and Pam could use a break,”

“Oh, okay then, thanks! Same as last week?”

“Sure! Talk to you later!”

Phil’s convinced that his squeal of excitement was the reason that the people who lived across the street turned their lights on and not the fact that their smoke detector went off. He probably set that off too, in hindsight. And caused the stove fire.

23 hours later, Phil finds himself standing inside the dance studio again, surrounded by shrieking kids, chattering parents, and the faint sound of the top 20 radio playing in the background.

“Mister Phil! Where’s Lola?” Rosie pulls on Phil’s sleeve, stopping when she sees her best friend walk out of the bathroom.

“Why, Miss Rosie, she’s right there!” Rosie giggles, pulling out of a hug with Lola.

“I know that now, silly.” She and Lola run into the studio, eager to get to do the optional partner stretches before class starts.

“Are you Lola’s father?” A woman dressed in a skirt suit and heels walks up behind Phil.

“Oh, no, I’m just a family friend. I occasionally take Lola to ballet to give her parents some alone time.”

“Ah.” The woman sticks her hand out for a handshake. “I’m Angela Wright, Rosie’s mom.”

Had there been a small creature under it, Phil’s heart would have killed it from the speed at which it fell. He knew that Rosie had a mom, that Dan had a wife, that Dan wasn’t available. So why did it still hurt so much?

“Oh, cool,” Phil responds a moment later, his voice considerably deflated.

Phil’s unspoken question is answered right as it pops into is head. “Dan contracted the flu, and is stuck at home in bed, which is why I’m here this week. I’m normally responsible for taking Rosie to taekwondo while he takes care of ballet lessons, but that evidently won’t work this week. Honestly, it’s just like Dan to get a winter disease in the middle of summer.”

“I was going to ask about setting up a playdate between Rosie and Lola, but…” Angie trails off.

“Yeah,” Phil nods in understanding, not liking this woman any more than he did a minute ago. “I’m gonna go sit down.” No response comes from the woman, but Phil’s not particularly bothered.

Maybe he should be nicer to the wife of the man he’s stupidly trying to woo, but he just can’t. How is he supposed to be nice to his competition, who’s already clearly won?

When he vaguely notices the ballet instructor make a big motion with her arms, Phil decides that watching a group of five and six year olds is an adequate distraction from the turmoil in his brain. After 10 minutes of watching the kids do various tasks, jumping and prancing around the room, he zones off.

“Uncle Phillll, come onnnnnnn!” wakes Phil from his trance, no longer seeing the ballet students in the studio but now milling around the lobby and leaving. “Class ended like, forever ago! Can we leave? I wanna go get ice cream!”

A quick look at the clock told Phil that class had only ended 5 minutes ago, but to an antsy six-year-old, he supposed that could feel like an eternity.

“Lola, we aren’t getting ice cream. I’d rather not have your parents be mad at me for loading you up on sugar, right?” The small girl pouts but grabs Phil’s hand, dragging him to the car.

While it was easy getting Lola into her car seat, getting her out was a whole other task. It took Phil, Ian, Pamela, a blanket, 2 stuffed animals, and a lullaby to successfully remove the sleeping child out of the carseat, into the house, and onto her bed where she could sleep without interruption.

Once he was back in his car, Phil sat in the driveway, resting his head on the steering wheel, regretting ever offering to take Lola to dance lessons at all. Remember back in college when all those crushes were single? You fucked up, bud.

[lamptracker]

FIC: Your Guide to the Afterlife

I know, I know, my inbox. But I also have this to publish, so.

And I don’t know where I came up with this so be gentle.

FIC: Your Guide to the Afterlife

Pairing: Female Reader/Harrison Osterfield

Summary: The reader dies. Harrison is her guide to the next step in her eternal journey. This is all fluff.

Also I’m going to be redoing my taglist like real soon-ish.

**

You have no idea what you’re doing here.

One minute, you were driving down the road; you’d been out celebrating your best friend’s birthday. You were the designated driver, so you were sober; you had just finished dropping off your last passenger.

The next thing you knew, you’d heard screeching tires, crunching metal, breaking glass; the smell of burning rubber, gasoline, and blood filled your nostrils. You remember feeling weightless for a moment, like you were flying; the earth soon rose up to meet you.

The last thing you remember thinking was: what is happening?

Now you’re in a small room. Everything is white - the walls, the carpeting. You’re sitting on a white overstuffed couch. A small white vase sits atop an end table (white wood); three white lilies peek out from the top.

Your first thought is: Where am I?

Your second thought: Why is everything white?

“Hello?” you call out. Despite the carpeted floors, your voice echoes slightly. “Is anyone there?”

No answer.

Sighing, you lean back onto the cushions and close your eyes. You open them a short time later; seated to your immediate right is a young man.

You jump in surprise, because he definitely wasn’t there when you sat down. Your eyes go wide as you study him.

He’s about your age, if you had to guess. His close-cropped hair is dark blond, curly. He has piercing blue eyes and the brightest smile you’ve ever seen. He's clad in all black, a stark contrast to your surroundings - black button down shirt, black jeans, black sneakers.

“Oh, hello, (y/n),” he says, in an air that suggest he’s been waiting for you the entire time. “My name is Harrison. I’m sure you have a lot of questions right now.”

“Where am I?” you ask, voice shaking slightly. “And how did you know my name?”

Harrison smiles. “I’m what they call a psychopomp.”

Your brow furrows in confusion. “A what, now?”

“A psychopomp.”

You groan quietly. “Okay, um… Harrison, was it? Look, you can repeat it all you like, it’s still not going to make me understand it. Now, what on earth does that mean?”

Harrison laughs. “Oh, basically I’m a guide,” he says. “A psychopomp’s job is to guide newly deceased souls to the afterlife.”

Your eyes grow wide again. “So...so you mean I...I’m... “

“Dead?” Harrison’s eyes seem to light up at this. “Yes, the car crash. You were hit by a drunk driver going the wrong way. Ironic, isn’t it? Designated driver gets killed by a drunk driver? You didn’t die straight away, but you were gone before they got you to the hospital. If it makes you feel any better, the other driver died on impact. But he’s not here, that gets you straight to Hell.” He makes a low whistling sound while doing a weird sort of downward pointing motion.

“So… I’m dead.”

“Yes.”

“I’m dead?”

“You can repeat it all you like,” Harrison says, mimicking your earlier statement, “but it’s still not going to make it any less true.”

“I can’t be dead!” you exclaim, springing from your seat. “I’m not ready for this.”

“Nobody ever is,” Harrison says, voice slightly misty. “Even the ones that say they are? They’re really not, they just say that to try and help their loved ones feel better. But they’re just as terrified as you are.”

“I have so much to do,” you continue as you pace the room. “So much I didn’t get to do. I never got married-”

“Jake was all wrong for you, anyway,” Harrison says.

“I never had kids, I never even graduated from college, I never got to go to Paris.”

“Paris is overrated,” Harrison says. “The people are stuck-up and it always smells like stale bread. And you were going to fail that Statistics final anyway.”

You roll your eyes. You’re about to continue your lament of all the things you never accomplished, when a realization hits you:

“So… if I’m here, and you’re here,” you start slowly, “does that mean you’re dead too?”

“Hmm? Oh, yeah.”

“Am I… am I allowed to ask how you died?”

“Attacked by a mountain lion.”

Your eyes grow wide again. “Really?”

Harrison groans, his head hitting the back of the couch. “No. But it sounds way cooler than ‘anaphylaxis during knee surgery,’ doesn’t it?”

“You… huh?”

“I tore my ACL while I was training for a marathon, and when I went into surgery to have it repaired I had a bad reaction to the anesthesia and… now I’m here.”

“Well,” you say, smiling. “We all gotta go some way.”

“But my way sucks.”

“So does mine.”

Harrison sighs as he leans forward, his elbows coming to rest on his knees. “I guess there’s really no good way to go, is there?”

You shrug. “I’ve always thought heart attack during sex would’ve been kinda cool. Or, I don’t know, died saving someone I loved. Fell into an active volcano, maybe. Definitely not something as bland as a car crash.”

“At least you didn’t die during routine knee surgery.”

“Fair point.” You look around the room for a moment, drumming your fingertips on your thighs. “So, um… how do I get there? You know, to where I’m going?”

Harrison smiles at you again. “Oh, you already know how to get there. You just… get up and start going, your soul knows where to take you.”

“Hmm. Okay. So… why are you here?”

“The journey’s a little long,” he explains, “and it can get lonely. So… I’m a guide, yes, but I’m also a companion. I’m here to… keep you company.”

“Wow,” you reply. “That’s actually kind of nice.”

“So.” Harrison stands, offering you his hand. “Shall we go?”

“I… I guess I’m ready.” You gently grasp his extended hand, and the two of you start down a long, narrow corridor.

He was right - your feet seem to know where they want to take you. You’re still slightly scared of what’s on the other end of the hallway, but you have Harrison now.

So the other end of the hallway doesn’t seem quite so daunting.

“What happens next?” you ask. “Where am I going?”

“I… okay. It’s a little weird-”

“Trust me, Harrison, nothing about this place could qualify as normal.”

Harrison chuckles. “And it’s a little hard to explain, um… you know the DMV?”

You wince. “Oh, God, I’m doomed to an eternity of waiting in line to get my registration renewed?! I was a good person! I mean, I did go in the side door to avoid the Salvation Army bellringer once, but...”

Harrison laughs shortly. “No! No, nothing like that. It’s sort of like the DMV. But it’s not. Um… it’s just this room that you go to, and the guy in there - Mort, you’ll like him, really - he looks at everything you’ve done during your life and he assigns you a position. I was always friendly and good with people, so he assigned me to be a psychopo-guide. Guide. I forgot, psychopomp is kind of a big word.”

“I always thought that when I died I went right to Heaven and St. Peter stood there at the gates,” you say.

“And he had a clipboard and checked things off of it?”

“Yeah!”

Harrison laughs. “Common misconception, I’m afraid, and far from the truth.”

“So you’re telling me St. Peter is actually a dude named Mort?”

“I… sort of. Only St. Peter decided whether or not you got into Heaven, never gave you a clue what you were supposed to do when you got there. Mort actually gives you something to do. Hey, maybe you’ll be a guide like me.”

You ponder it for a moment. “Maybe. I always did like meeting new people.”

The two of you walk in silence for a long time. But, you notice, it’s not that kind of eerie silence that you think you need to fill with idle chit-chat. It’s a comfortable silence, like when you’re with someone you’ve known forever. You don’t need to fill that type of silence; it’s the kind that feels safe, comforting.

Just having someone with you is all you really need. It makes the journey seems less scary, less dreadful. You’re actually looking forward to what’s on the other side.

“So it was your best friend’s birthday, yeah?” Harrison asks.

You nod. “Yep. And I was named the designated driver because I was just getting over a sinus infection but was still on antibiotics. Really don’t want to mix those with alcohol.”

“Yeah, I learned that one the hard way once. How long were you friends?”

“Since we were eight. I’m going to miss her.”

“I miss my best friend,” Harrison says wistfully. “His name’s Tom, we’ve been friends since we were fifteen. He was the sort of mate that’d drop anything to help you. You know how everyone needs a hype man? Tom was mine.”

“Hannah was mine too,” you reply. “Do you think I’ll see her again someday?”

“I think so,” Harrison answers. “We all meet up with our loved ones sometime or another. I got to see my granddad not long ago. I do this, yeah, but we also have time to be with our loved ones. It’s a good balance.”

You’re comforted by that.

As the two of you walk, you steal the occasional glance at him. Maybe, if you two were still living, you’d date him. He seems your type - friendly, a little goofy, tall (but not too tall) and handsome.

“Did you have any pets?” he asks.

“A cat named Steve. He passed away a few years ago, do-”

“You will probably get to see him again, yes. Pets end up here too, I had a dog named… wait, Steve?”

“Steven Grant Meowgers. I thought it’d be a funny name for a cat. I was actually looking at adopting a puppy, I even had names picked out. Bark Ruffalo for a boy, Kelly Barkson for a girl. Anyway, your dog?”

“Right, Monty. He was the best dog, I miss him too. I think he’s with my sister right now, but one day I’ll get to see him again.”

“Will I get to see you again?”

Harrison smiles softly at you. “Maybe. There’s not really dating up here - at least, not like there was on Earth - but the concept of soulmates follows you up here. If you didn’t find them on Earth, you’ll find them here.”

“How do you know?”

“I don’t know, exactly. You almost never find out your first day, though. And you definitely don’t find out before you even get there. But… but maybe you’re mine.”

“I could think of worse soulmates.” You wink at him as he pretends to look wounded; the two of you soon dissolve into giggles.

You walk on for another long while. You ponder what a weird turn your day has taken. You woke up this morning, alive and well, ready to celebrate your friend’s birthday.

Now, you’re dead, with no idea what you’ll be doing in the afterlife, your eternal fate resting in the hands of a guy named Mort.

But you have a guide - who might be your soulmate? You don’t know.

It’s all a lot to comprehend.

But somehow, you’re not feeling the least bit overwhelmed by any of it.

You do know that having Harrison with you is a big help. You feel comforted, reassured, like maybe this isn’t so bad.

When you were alive, the thought of dying, the thought of this, terrified you to no end. What would happen to you? Where would you go, what would you do?

You’re here, though, you’re dead… and it’s okay. It’s really okay.

“Well… here we are.”

You look up at the doorway. You’d heard so much about the so-called “pearly gates.” This door, like everything else, was white; only this had a shimmery, iridescent hue. Almost… like a pearl.

“Mort’s expecting you,” Harrison says quietly. “I’m going to go and visit with my granddad for awhile, but I will see you soon I hope.”

“I hope so too.” You smile at him. “Hey, um… thank you.”

“For what?”

“For all your help. For making this not seem so scary and terrible. For being here. I’ve been dead for less than a day and I’ve already made a friend.”

Harrison returns your smile with a bright one of his own. “I’m glad I was able to help you. See you around?”

“Yeah. Hey, um… can I have a hug?”

Wordlessly, Harrison folds you into his arms; you wrap yours around his waist. You’ve hugged people before, and you’ve been hugged before, but this feels different. Warming, calming, not like any other hug you’ve ever had.

You never want it to end. You could think of worse fates than getting to hug a cute boy for all eternity.

“I guess I’d better get in there,” you say as you finally pull away. “See what ol’ Mort has planned for me.”

“I should leave you to it. Talk to you soon.” Harrison flashes you one last grin before starting the long trek back down the hallway.

Holding your head up confidently, you open the door and step inside to determine your fate.

[wndrlstvbz]

Such a boy

you and shawn have a complicated relationship and after calling him out, he opens his eyes a little bit

a/n: so i’ve decided to mix my love for shawn mendes, angsty fluff, and astrid s, and this came out, enjoy

You scanned the dancing crowd for the curly haired boy you had grown to fall in love with. Not that you would ever tell him, you two had a complicated relationship, one that didn’t exactly include ‘feelings’. Last time you had talked both of you were sober, unfortunately. So after Shawn barging out claiming to need space, you left him to figure himself out, and hopefully get yourself together too. While he treated you like a queen, Shawn was by far the most toxic person in your life. You would spend weeks together, any stranger would gush that you two were as in love as can be, but then he would lash out, saying he needed air, and then not come back till weeks later, and always drunk of course. It was routine, but somewhere in between, when he would look at you like you put the stars in the sky, your heart would race a bit and you would find yourself wanting to know the real Shawn Mendes, the one who called you princess during lunch, not in the sheets.

But that’s all just wishful thinking. Now you’re having the time of your life at a party, well you were having a blast, until you saw him walk in out of the corner of your eye. “Well I never would’ve thought I’d see you of all people here!” You heard a familiar voice behind you, you took a deep breath and a gulp from your cup and turned to face him, “I could say the exact same. What do you want Mendes?” His smirk fell and his confident stance faltered, “Hey, I’m sorry about last week, I’m sure you’re upset with me and-” You scoffed, “How bold of you to assume I actually care. I’m used to it, save your ‘apologies’.” You set your cup down and head towards the crowd when his hands grip your wrist. Before you could blink you were pinned against the wall, his lips dangerously close to yours, he leans over and whispers in your ear, “You may not care but I do princess. Would you at least let me make it up to you?” You roll your eyes, might as well have your cake and eat it too.

You rub the sleep out of your eyes and look around the room. Your head was pounding from last night’s liquor but everything comes rushing back. Leaving the party hand in hand. Nearly tripping over yourselves rushing into Shawn’s place. His lips and touch. His body fitting into your like a puzzle. How much you had missed him.

You look beside you to find Shawn cuddled in the blankets, his curls falling everywhere. You sigh and head to his closet for the stash of clothes you keep in there for times like these, it’s the last pair but you’ve made up your mind that you weren’t going to restock it. This had to be the last time, you just couldn’t keep doing this anymore, you wanted more than this. You gather up all your stuff but you’re stopped before you can leave the room, “Wait, Y/n, no don’t go. You can’t leave so soon.” You turn and look at everything but him. “I’m sorry Shawn but I can’t do this anymore. I thought I could but every time I look at you now, all I can think about is what we could be, what we could have, if you weren’t just such a-” He sits up straight and crosses his arms, “Such a what huh? I thought you wanted this? Do you have any idea how many times I’ve wanted to stop this and just start calling you mine? But no because you-“ You throw your stuff down and walk up to the edge of the bed, with tears about to burst out, “Don’t you dare put this on me! It’s you and it always has been you! You say we need a ‘break’, so we end things. Then you tell me to stay, so we make up. Then you freak out, because let’s face it Shawn, you only want me. When. You’re. Drunk.”

You sit with your back turned to him and wipe your face clean with the back of your hand. You hear Shawn take a deep breath behind you, “I love you. Well I’m in love with you to be exact. I never would’ve let it get this far but you made me happy, happier than I had ever been in my life. And that right there was the scariest feeling. I just want to wake up with you next to me for the rest of my life, but then I remember the reason I drink in the first place and I would rather have you every few weeks then never at all. I don't want to let my guard down cause I’m terrified that one look at the real me and you’ll leave. Please don’t leave.” Shawn untangles himself from the sheets and slides to take a seat next to you, he intertwines your hands and you lay your head on his shoulder, “I couldn't leave you even if I wanted to Mendes. Or hurt you. Unfortunately, I have this stupid thing called feelings for you.” You both chuckle and get up.

“So let’s give these stupid feelings thing a shot okay?” You roll your eyes and gently place your lips on his, and you can’t help but smile into the kiss, knowing it’s only the first of many more sober ones. He pulls away just to latch your lips back together hungrily. You feel his arms pick you up and you wrap your legs around his waist. He lays you back on the bed and leans in but before he can get to you, you roll over and hop off, turning at the doorway to see him smirk at you in shock. “I’m gonna make some breakfast while you change, oh and Shawn, I have one condition to this whole ‘us’ thing” He looks at you wearily, you smile down at his SpongeBob boxers, “Don’t be such a boy.”

[hollandroos]

Peter Parker drabble

Here’s a drabble that i was going to delete but I thought nah, let’s post it.

The lyrics are from ‘I Keep writing songs for people i’ll never know’ By Dandelion Hands.

 3 months ago, the last place Peter would’ve imagined himself at 2 am was at your window. He wasn’t too fussed about the fact that the icy cold, winter breeze was turning his lips blue or that he couldn’t feel his fingers even through his woolen, fingerless gloves, but he was slightly worried that your neighbour had just seen him flinging spider webs out of his wrists.

Peter had welcomed this routine into his life not too long ago. Attempting to sleep without your frame at arms length was almost useless now. You too, had become accustomed to the curly haired boy snoring softly besides you as you slept, his arms tightening around your waist every so often. If it wasn’t that, he was tangling his legs up with yours, creating a puzzle of sorts. i feel like half a person

when you're not with me

You two were two halves of a whole. You craved the others company.

“Peter” You whisper excitedly, opening the window allowing your boyfriend to squeeze through the gap. “I thought you weren't coming tonight”

Peter tries his best to make as little noise as possible as he steps down from the windowsill. Your room was extremely warm compared to the bitter weather he’d just trudged through to get to your room.

“Got caught up with a small shop lifting incident down town, I may or may not have saved the day” He smirks, shrugging off the coat and gloves he was wearing to reveal the Spider suit. That same suit never ceased to amaze you. You’d once spent hours running your finger tips over the thin material, trying to work out exactly how Mr Stark fit in all that he did. Peter had been happy to show you the ropes from his web shooters to Karen.

i love the ways you calm me down

and make me feel so free

“My hero” You smile, wrapping your arms around your boyfriend's shoulder and leaning into his hold. “God Peter, you’re freezing” You go to pull away with the intentions of grabbing one of the sweaters Peter had left lying around your room, only to be pulled back into his grasp.

“You’re warming me up, my little heater” He mutters, swaying you two back and forth.

Tell Peter 3 months ago that he’d be standing in the middle of your room, you in his arms swaying back and forth to just the sound of the wind hitting your window and he would’ve simply laughed, not believing the concept.

Not because he found the idea funny, or he found it undesirable, but because Peter didn’t believe he was good enough for you for the longest time.

whether we're out or stuck at home

you're the only face i see

You were simply the girl he’d stare at from across the chemistry lab or see copying notes from random history books in the library after school.

There were a range of students at Midtown, hundreds of them but it was you that stood out to Peter without even speaking a word to him.

you make my life sufferable

even just slightly

but if we're suffering together

we're not suffering at all

[eecummies]

1 6 23 34 37 38 49 50 - for Beau and Ves

1. What’s their full name? Why was that chosen? Does it mean anything?

Oooh Beau’s is Beauregard [Something Biblical] [Last name], his granny added in the middle name cus before that he didn’t have one. He hates his first name something foul, it makes him sound super regal and he’s not 

Ves is Sylvester Szafranski he doesn’t have a middle-name and it just had a nice ring to it really, that was his thought process.

(this is super long so the rest is under the cut)

6. What were they like at school? Did they enjoy it? Did they finish? What level of higher education did they reach? What subjects did they enjoy? Which did they hate?OH these are good questions damn. Ves was kind of a hellion in school, not in a  class clown way but more the ‘ugh thats dumb we’re not gonna need algebra in the Real World this BLOWS, school is fake’ sorta youth. He secretly enjoyed school cus it got him out of the house for 8 hours and he went onto med school to be a disgusting mortician. Ves really liked biology and really loathed gym. Beau was really shitty at school and had it not been for his granny he would’ve dropped out in 10th grade but he stuck with it and got his diploma and swore off college+, school just was not his forte. He’s got a lot of hang-ups about his assumed intelligence and school only exacerbated that insecurity so he just dislikes the whole foundation as a whole. He did enjoy history tho, but English wasn’t his strong suit.23. Do they have a good memory? Short term or long term? Are they good with names? Or faces?

Beau’s memory is pretty standard even though he dissociates frequently. When his mind isn’t in a fuzzy blankspace he’s got an alright grasp on what’s happened before but the details may be a little hazy. He’s terrible with names tho but his aptitude for face recognition is dead-on, he can spot a familiar face even after years. He just won’t know from where.Ves’ memory is really good especially when it comes to personal slights cus he holds grudges. Like he won’t really remember whether or not he locked the car up but he still knows Suzie from 4th grade’s home address because she stole his orange highlighter and neer ever gave it back. He’s an Aquarius… He’s good with both names nad faces cus he describes people based on eccentric physical cues. “Oh yeah you know Joe, curly hair, potbelly, always wears flip-flops?? yeah JOE”34. What is their body type? How tall are they? Do they like their body?

Ves is like 5″5 he’s a tiny man and he’s not “””skinny””” but he’s got a ‘I routinely enjoy beer and hoagies in excess’ kinda pudgy tummy. Soft yet hard eough to fight. A compact little soldier. Ves is kinda disconnected from his body it’s changed alot over the past decade but he’s coasting on ‘tolerating’ it now, maybe not in love with cool with it

Beau is my big boy he’s 6′4″ and isnt even aware he’s in control of a physical vessel 40% of the time. I dont even need to talk about his build he’s just tall and toned like a big ol Oak tree. The original Trade.

37. Do they like to read? Are they a fast or slow reader? Do they like poetry? Fictional or non fiction?

Beau won’t seek out a book but if he’s drawn to one/bored enough he’ll read, and he’s an alarmingly fast reader when he’s doing it silently. He can go through an autobiography in a day, his pacing is kinda, unnervingly quick.He doesn’t ‘get’ poetry and non-fiction doesnt grasp him either. Ves is the opposite and has some issues with retention like he’ll re-read the same line three times and it just won’t stick and he’ll get frustrated easily. He doesn’t like poetry and prefers non-fiction.38. What do they admire in others? What talents do they wish they had?

HMMM Ves admires Zuberi diplomacy even if its outright fakeness at times. He likes watching him be able to de-escalate any situation and have someone eat out of the palm of his hand. Ves is pretty rough around the edges so watching Zuberi pull strings and still be in control in a more subtle way fascinates him. And he doesn’t play any instruments so maybe that.Beau would admire other’s openness and trust, it would teeter between like a ‘oh that poor sap’ kind of scoffing if someone’s totally willing to share their life story, but at the end of the day it fascinates him how some people can just be completely open without fear of consequence. And maybe something to do with cooking.49. What is their most valued object? Are they sentimental? Is there something they have to take everywhere with them?

A framed picture of Granny is Beau’s most treasure item to date, and they’re very sentimental. He doesn’t have to take anything specific with him though. Ves has kept old show tickets from back in high school along with certain shoes and bracelets but that’s about it.

50. If they could only take one bag of stuff somewhere with them: what would they pack? What do they consider their essentials?

Ves: laptop, earphones, wallet, thermos with coffee inside uuuuuuh a pocketknife, that’s about it I think. 

Beau: wallet, keyring, ????? like 5 sticks of beef jerky, an ancient phone with only like 4 saved numbers in it, that’s it

[farfromharry]

always (part one) | harry holland series

summary: harry helps to comfort you after the night before turned awful for you

word count - 2.2k

warnings - language, alcohol, yelling/arguing, mentions of throwing up

a/n - thank you so much for 300! also i think i’m gonna post once a week, most likely on fridays <3

“I have to go home Harry.” you giggled, trying to pull him towards the door of the houseparty you were in. He sighed, resting his head on top of yours, swaying you both slowly to the loud, booming music playing in the background. your phone buzzed again in your hand, the vibration alerting you of another text from Nate, and another one that you were going to blatantly ignore.

“ ‘m gonna miss you.” he drunkenly slurred, a giggle bubbling in your throat. you rolled your eyes, practically holding him up.

“Come on, I'm literally taking you home silly.” you had decided on being the designated driver for the night hours ago, right after seeing how harry downed his drink when you got here. you hadn’t particularly felt great all week but harry was so excited about this party, more so that it was for his brothers amazing performance in spiderman: far from home, and you couldn’t possibly turn down his offer, wanting to support Tom at the same time.

“need some help?” you looked up and made eye contact with harrison.

“yes please.” you whined.

With the help of a tipsy Harrison you managed to get Harry into your car, ignoring the almost consistent buzz of your phone now. Harry slumped into the passenger seat, laying his head on the window and quickly passing out.

“what am i gonna do with you?” you laughed, looking at your best friend drool on himself, you clipped his seatbelt into place and closed the door, getting in the driver’s side with a sigh. Driving to the large house the group of lads lived in was a routine for you at this point, you were there more often than you were at your own home. This time though, the short drive was filled with random muttered sentences falling from Harry's mouth every so often, mumbled under his breath in his sleep.

After pulling up outside the house you mentally debated what the best way to get Harry from the car to his bed would be. Eventually settling on just having to guide him there with a struggle.

“okay, come on mister, let’s get you to bed.” You hoisted him up out of the car, draping his arm around your shoulder as you led him up to his front door. Youu unlocked it with your spare key and hauled him inside.

“who knew you were this heavy?” you asked rhetorically, closing the door behind you with your foot.

“what are you doing?” you looked up and spotted sam sitting with his girlfriend in the living room, you smiled sheepishly.

“he’s really drunk, and also really heavy, please help me.” you pouted. Sam took pity seeing the drunken Harry cling to you, practically putting all his weight on you.

Sam wrapped his twin's arm around his shoulder, shooting a quick apology to Elysia, who brushed it off with an amused laugh.

Sam almost easily helped Harry upstairs, saving you the task of changing him into comfier clothes by doing it himself. leaving you to laugh in the corner at how difficult Harry was making it for his brother. when he was finally done he let out an exhausted sigh, throwing his dirty clothes in the corner of the room.

“thank you for your help.” Sam nodded, leaving you with a quiet ‘good luck.’ you looked at Harry with a sigh, pulling the covers of his bed over him and brushing your hand over his hair.

“y/n?” he slurred, blinking his eyes open just a little.

“hi, what’s up?” he smiled sleepily at you.

“thank you.” you giggled, looking at his half closed pretty eyes.

“of course.” you stroked his hair for a little bit longer than probably needed, making sure he was okay and didn’t need to be sick at all. He watched you the whole time with a lazy smile, nuzzling his head further into your loving touch.

“get some sleep, your heads gonna hurt in the morning.” before you left you made sure to get some painkillers and a glass of water. you placed them on his bedside table, kissing his head, making sure he was okay and asleep before you finally left.

The drive back to your flat was even quieter than the drive to Harry's home, no more drunken jokes from the passenger seat that made you laugh.

Even after pulling up outside your home you still waited in your car, not yet prepared to face your, no doubt, angry boyfriend inside.

After around 10 minutes of putting it off, you took a deep breath, climbing out of your car and heading into your building, greeting the receptionist on your way in. The lift ride up was long and filled with different scenarios of how this night could end, all of them overthought and turning out negatively. You hadn’t even started unlocking the door when it swung open, startling you.

“where the fuck have you been?” Nate yelled before you even stepped through the front door. you flushed in embarrassment at the idea of your neighbours hearing or seeing, shoving past him to make it inside.

“I told you, I was at Tom's party.” he scoffed, throwing his hands in the air dramatically.

“that was hours ago y/n!” you flinched at the loudness of his tone, wishing he would quieten down a bit. “where were you when i started texting you, huh?”

“I was making sure my best friend got home safe, because he was drunk out of his mind.” he rolled his eyes.

“since when was he your responsibility?”

“he’s always been my responsibility you arse, literally since we were 10.” you argued. you could almost feel the anger radiating from him, he was seething. You wanted nothing more than to simply just sleep this night away now.

“you know, he acts more like your boyfriend than me, and i am your boyfriend.” you laughed, glaring at him.

“Well that sounds like a you problem, Harry's just being a good friend, maybe you should try and be a better boyfriend once in a while.” he slammed his hands down on the kitchen counter, your eyes snapping to his face in fear.

“he clearly wants to fuck you.” this time it was your turn to scoff.

“no he doesn’t, do you not think he would’ve made a move by now, it’s been 11 years.” you finally snapped and let yourself yell. The argument seemed to go on for hours, back and forth of you defending Harry and him trying to make him sound like a bad person.

you didn’t even remember how it started by the time it ended, finally having enough of the shit he was saying. the same shit he’d been putting you through since he first met Harry.

“get out of my fucking house.” he stared at you dumbfounded, watching as you pointed to the door.

“what?” you rolled your eyes, moving to your front door and opening it.

“we’re done, get out.” Nate grabbed his jacket forcefully and stomped his way to the door.

“at least you can finally fuck him now.” you knew he was talking about Harry, he always hated how close you both were.

“you’re pathetic Nate.” he left without another word, leaving you to slam the door and think about everything that had just happened. A night that had gone really well, just gone down the drain.

There was a quiet, soft knock on your front door, a groan slipping past your lips as you thought it might’ve been Nate. you pulled it open rather forcefully, only to be met with your neighbours little boy. the 7 year old smiled at you sheepishly.

“hi Theo, what’s up?” you bent down to his height, looking into his brown eyes with confusion.

“me and my mum heard shouting, we just wanted to make sure you were okay.” your heart melted, looking up and making eye contact with his mum, standing in the doorway across the hall. you mouthed a ‘thank you’ and she nodded.

“Was it you and harry?” he asked shyly.

“no, it wasn’t Harry, don’t worry he’ll still come over.” Theo had told you once while you were babysitting him that he loved Harry, the male always told him a joke that’d make his stomach hurt with laughter.

“But I'm okay, thank you Theo.” you ruffled his hair, sending him back to his mum with a wave.

you closed your door and leaned back against it, finally letting some tears fall as you began processing things.

you spent most of the night crying, blaming yourself for everything that happened, even if you knew that wasn’t the case at all.

The next morning, well late morning, there was a knock on your door. you dragged yourself out of bed and didn’t even check before opening, mentally regretting it when you spotted the curly haired male standing in your doorway. you didn’t want him to see you in this state, even if he’d seen you at your worst many times before.

“hey, i just- what’s wrong?” he noticed the tear stains on your cheeks, his heart aching at the thought of you being in any kind of pain.

you walked forwards without a word and buried yourself in his chest, arms around his waist. He stroked your hair, holding you equally as tight as you were holding him.

your stomach growled at you, but not in a hungry way, your eyes widening. you let go of Harry, much to his confusion, and quickly rushed to the bathroom, throwing up everything you’d eaten the night before. the burning pain in your throat forced tears to your eyes, your knees aching from the firm tiled floor.

Harry was there in an instant, holding your hair back so nothing got in the way. His large hand rubbed your back gently, coaxing you through it until you stopped after your stomach was more or less empty. you sat back on your knees once you were done, arms still clutching the bowl in case you felt the nauseating feeling again.

“So, I take it you still don’t feel well?” you shook your head, ignoring the feeling in your gut that told you it was more than a bug.

you flushed the toilet, quickly brushing your teeth and washing your hands, having Harry stare at you through the mirror the whole time. Once you were done you sat back beside him on the floor, shoulders touching to give you any form of comfort.

“why were you crying?” you looked at him from your place on the bathroom floor and let a tear slip from your eye. your eyes stinging from how many tears you’d shed in such a short span of time.

“we broke up.” Harry frowned, pushing away the happy feeling in the pit of his stomach.

“what happened?” you let out a loud sob, harry ignoring the pounding headache he had from his hangover to tend to you.

“awe love, it’s okay, always thought he was an arsehole.” you stifled a laugh, wiping your cheeks and looking at him.

“he was just, he didn’t like you, and you’re so important to me.” Harry smiled sympathetically.

“I'm sorry, i didn’t mean to-“ you shushed him, shaking your head.

“i’d rather have you in my life than him.” a few moments of silence passed by as Harry thought deeply about what you said.

“can we cuddle?” you asked quietly, almost scared to ask, snapping him out of his daze. Harry nodded, helping you up off the floor and guiding you to your room.

the two of you got under the unmade, crisp white covers on your bed, your head resting on his chest and your arms around his waist. you were silent for a while, just happy to be laying there in his warmth with harry’s fingers running through your hair. at some point you ended up falling asleep, a smile breaking out on Harry's face. He knew you probably didn’t get much sleep last night from the bags under your eyes, so he was glad he could provide you with enough comfort to do that for you.

you woke up to Harry shifting, sitting up in your bed. you groaned, trying to fall back to sleep, finding it almost impossible now Harry’s body heat was gone.

“where are you going?” you grumbled.

“i have to go, i’m sorry.” you pouted, harry placing a kiss to your head as he slipped his shoes on.

“are you sure you’re gonna be okay without me?” you nodded, flashing him a smile.

“if you need me, at any point just call me, any time okay?” you nodded again. you quickly pulled him into a hug, thanking him for helping you.

“i’ll see you soon.”

“bye Harry.” you frowned as you watched him leave, hearing your front door close a few seconds later. you closed your eyes again, willing yourself to go to sleep, prepared to sleep the rest of the day away as a distraction.

after being unable to fall asleep you groaned loudly, angrily tossing one of your pillows across your room, not caring what you knocked over.

“what a fucking day.”

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