#a concept Wish put to page very well

[kc5rings]

A little something to celebrate a years worth of Muzzle Mondays with the subject that most often came to mind for me this past year, Wish once again knocking it out of the park.

That century of solitude guarding a door is one of the most compelling things about Nian’s story to me, and I look forward to learning more about what exactly that was about

As always, Happy Muzzle monday!

[russellsppttemplates]

So... pure and so you (Charles Leclerc)

Going back home means Charles sees how you've been healing, and your parents haven't missed it either

Note: english is not my first language. I know it's past Christmas, but this still counts, right?

Thank you so much to everyone who likes and reblogs, your feedback is appreciated 🤍 and I'm taking requests so if you have any ideas or concepts you want to share, feel free to do so as I'll try to get to them the best I can!

my masterlist

Cw: talks about having kids

Tag list: @myloverjk-blog

"Is your mother making those biscuits I really like? Those fluffy ones, they're like little cakes actually", Charles asked, his hand over the console and resting on your thigh as he turned left for the final cut to your house.

"She said she was planning on making them these afternoon, I can't wait!", you squealed, clapping your hands together at the prospect, seeing your parents left the gate open so you could drive in.

Parking the car, Charles ensured it was safe before coming out of it as well, being greeted by your family dog while you hugged your parents, "hello buddy, how are you? You're very excited to see us, hm? Yes you are!", Charles cooed, rubbing his belly as he wagged his tail at the attention he was receiving.

You hugged your parents before looking for your boyfriend, "Arlo loves Charles more than he loves me", you chuckled, seeing the labrador run back to you as Charles followed him.

"Hi, how are you?", Charles offered as he kissed your mother's cheeks, opting to shake your father's hand as you walked inside, "did you have a good drive back here?", he questioned him, "yes, not too bad actually. It wasn't too busy", your boyfriend replied, seeing you store your coats and get comfortable in your parents' house.

After lunch, your mother asked for help with baking while your father and Charles helped with preparing the table to you could then roll the dough properly.

It was a sight to behold. You were helping your mother with Christmas cookies and the cakes your boyfriend mentioned, your clothes littered with flour stains as you touched your mother's cheek with some of the mixture, containing your laugh as she didn't seem to notice the powder on her skin.

You were happy, giggly and you had a glow that Charles was sure put all of the products you had back home to shame.

"It's good to see her like this", Charles commented when he felt your father's eyes on him, "work has been a lot lately, and she'll only listen to so much of what I say and take the advice even less than I'd like", he chuckled.

Your father shook his head, "She's always been like that. It was worrisome for a little bit, and we always make sure she's not pushing herself too much. And we know we have you in our team, too", the older man touched a Charles' shoulder, rubbing it slightly before he offered him a drink.

After wishing your parents a good night, you and Charles headed to your room upstairs, needing to catch up on some sleep after the busy day. Your old bedroom had slightly changed since you moved out to live with your boyfriend. Your parents swapped your single bed for a double one, for whenever you and Charles visited, and updated the colour of the walls, wanting to keep it on the neutral side in case they needed it for other guests, "are you showering now or after me?", Charles asked, grabbing a towell from himself, "I'll go after you, I need to hang my clothes first", you smiled, kissing his lips as he went to the bathroom.

Looking through your wardrobe, you noticed your mother still kept the family albums in there, remembering something about the downstairs drawers being humid and her worry about loosing the memories. You flickered through the pages, recalling some memories from when you were younger, some of them you probably constructed by other people telling you the moments.

Charles walked in a little while later, ruffling his hair with a towell only in a t-shirt and underwear, "you can go now, amour", he said as he noticed you closing the album, pressing a kiss to your forehead when you walked to take a shower.

You were already in bed when you noticed Charles looking at the books, "you want to look at what's inside them, don't you?", you chuckled as his eyes lit up, "I'm not too tired to look at them, and I bet there are some good memories in there", he confessed.

Opening the book while your boyfriend pulled you to rest against his chest, "this is so pretty", you appreciated all the details on the pages, either doodles or descriptions from the moment when the picture was taken.

"Look at these cheeks!", Charles groaned as he pointed at a picture of you. From the date on the page, you were around four, two pigtails on your curly hair and a toothy smile, "if our kids have your cheeks, which I hope they do, I won't be able to stop kissing them, I know I just won't", he breathed out.

"Do you think about that a lot?", you wondered, looking at his face as you adjusted your position slightly, genuinely curious about the subject. It had been something you had talked about before and it seemed to come to again.

"Yes, I do. I still think we should wait a little bit longer, get married first, enjoy married life just you and me and then we can think about little ones, but everytime I see a child or someone asks, it's you I see. With a baby bump, then a little baby in your arms, and we play with them and love in them like they deserve", he cooed, rubbing the tip of his nose on your cheek, kissing it softly.

"Me too", you smiled, "I mean, its always you I see whenever I think about the future. And it looks so good. Sometimes it looks scary, because I don't know how it will play out, but I'll have you with me, so all will be well", you admitted, kissing his lips properly.

You had been friends before you dated, and it has been a whole process to get you to be this open to him when you started dating, never wanting to put too much on his plate as he had his own things to deal with, not wanting to burden him and not wanting to lose him from your life.

"We're a team, amour, there's no need to fear", he said, closing the book and setting it down on the floor, cuddling you to him.

The next morning was slow. Charles' lips littered kisses on your neck and cheeks, seeing the smile as you slowly woke up, "it's Christmas, ma belle", you heard his whisper, his eyes looking for yours, "Merry Christmas, handsome, I love you", you muttered, pulling your hands out from under the covers and cupping your boyfriend's' cheeks, rubbing the stubbly skin before kissing him.

"I love how smiley you are", Charles complimented, big coats and scarf on as you walked on the trail after having breakfast, occasionally pestering your mother with a fallen tree branch or twigs as she thought some animal was crawling up her skin.

"Am I not smiley regularly?", you wondered, knowing what he meant. Coming home meant, after a lot of work on yourself over the years, you would enjoy yourself without any outside pressures. You were amongst family and in the safe place you grew up. No prying eyes, no one commenting or second guessing what you said, wore or looked like.

"You are, but you're carefree, I think. You're not so stressed, your inner child is showing so much more, and it's so... pure. So you", he smiled, kissing the side of your head as he pulled you to walk closer to him.

They had both become adults way faster than the rest of the people their age. Charles' career forced him to grow up earlier and grow thicker skin very early on, and because you were there with him, too, you were also taken with the wave. You started working as soon as you finished your degree, and while you wouldn't complain about it, it did come with a lot of work and investment of yourself that you lost some of your younger years.

"Whenever we are not doing well, when it gets too much, we will do this. Visit your parents, do all the childish things we want to do, no matter how silly they may be", Charles stated as he rubbed your palm with his thumb, "I never want you to give up this side of you, and I'm willing to do anything to see you smile like that again and again".

Smiling at his words at chuckling slightly at the fact that there was no way this man was ever getting away from you, you held out your pinky, "I promise", you smiled as you two laced fingers, sealing it with a kiss.

[ellecdc]

Dude, I don't know why I am asking this. But do you think poly moonwater will choose to be child free? I do think so. I mean, regulus past story and remus fury problem, I don't think they'll want kids at all

But if reader accidentally gets pregnant. Do you think they gonna keep their distance an arm lenght? I mean, I remember in the book remus trying to leave nymphadora who's pregnant at that moment (or is it after she gave birth? Can't really remember) by trying to help Harry looking for the idk the name of it, voldemort collections?

oooouuuu this is a fun question! thanks for asking; and I think that happened before teddy lupin was born and they were searching for Voldemort's horcruxes! - also, in regards to canon, I think the reason remus felt willing to take off was because he truly was sort of all alone: no parents, no siblings, no family, no friends. Plus society constantly shitting on him, plus there being a war etc etc, he felt very desperate and didn't feel like he could handle being responsible for nymphadora and a child

But of course since WE DON'T LIVE IN A WOLD WITH VOLDEMORT OVER HERE 🙃🙃🙃🙃 I think this is a valid question

(my answer is going to be SFW until the page break below - I will put warnings ahead of time for minors)

My answer would be yes, I agree that Regulus and Remus would perhaps wish to be childfree. Like you said, Remus feels like society views him as a stain and he wouldn't want to pass that legacy onto a child (biologically his or not), and he also wouldn't want to put a child through the pain of seeing their father suffer through every lunar cycle. Regulus had a horrific childhood and would be very scared to be anything like his mother or father, and I kind of see him as this guy who really doesn't know what to do with kids...he never had a childhood really, and never was around other kids until he was at Hogwarts, and by then he was right traumatized soooo yes I agree, he would be worried about having children.

As for our darling reader finding out she was pregnant? I have some thoughts on that.

I think Regulus has a deep rooted sense of duty and loyalty to his people, and ultimately, Remus and reader would be his people. Even if he hated the idea of reader being pregnant/having his child, I think he would shove that down so deep and just completely take on this role he never really wanted but hey, he's here now and he's going to do what he has to do. It was why he ended up in Slytherin (duty/loyalty to his family), and it was why he took the dark mark (duty/loyalty to his family). He took the mark because he believed that to be his role, his job in life - and if reader ended up pregnant, well, that was his duty then.

I think Remus would be a wild card. Remus never had a proper childhood either; he had to grow up really fast as he was bitten at only 4 years old. This means for as long as he can remember, he's been a werewolf. He didn't get to attend school (due to injuries/pains, scars, unexplained absences etc), he never had siblings, and he couldn't play with the village kids. So not only does he not necessarily know what to do with kids, I think he'd still have some of those "the kid would be better off without me, I can't curse another life to me and my lycanthropy) BUT I think he'd have been around Harry and loved that kid so damn much, and he'd have his friends and loved ones to help him come to terms with it.

This could be a cute fic request.

now.....as for the NSFW stuff (18+, minors don't look down here)

I have this headcanon that pureblood's have a breeding kink....they were literally bred, born, and raised to carry on the bloodline and produce heirs - so I don't think Regulus was fucking innocent in that conception LOL he would have been very excited thinking about spilling inside of reader and getting her knocked up.

in a similar vein, I also believe that there is a primal side of Remus with his lycanthropy which would ALSO support a breeding kink - truly fucks like an animal tbh and gets so turned on at the thought of filling reader up

okay sorry for being a dirty horn dog thanks byeeeee

[artists-ally]

{Flatline} OFC x Harvey Specter {Pt. 1}

I got the title from this song called Flatline by Jared Benjamin. I added it to this playlist of very Harvey Specter vibes if you'd like to listen. There will be multiple parts, around three so be sure to stick around for those. As always comment and tell me what you think, or pop by in my asks. Anyhoo enjoy my loves!

Word count ~ 10,619 (it is a very fast paced read I promise)

Warnings ~ Age gap, smut (18+), handjob, no real BDSM but Dom/Sub concepts, language, alcohol, anxiety/anxious thoughts, probably really inaccurate lawyer terms idk man.

Summary: Harvey has taken notice of the hardest working first year associate, Claudia Martin. Despite being petrified of the infamous closer, she tried her hardest to not let it get the best of her. Harvey has a few ideas on how to increase her confidence.

Tagging : @maxdamax @ashcosmo @rosedpetal (This is basically just dedicated to you three so I hope you enjoy it the most!)

~~~~~

“Alright, everybody stop,” Harvey announced. I put down my file and sat ramrod straight in my seat, eyes darting at the other associates as they put theirs away too. “We have been working on this case now for four hours and no one has brought me a single thing that I can use as evidence. Now, if someone doesn’t put a file in my hand in the next ten minutes, we’re going to lose. And those of you who don’t want to get stuck doing whatever bullshit Louis is going to punish you with, you better come up with something fast.”

I looked at the blue file in my hands, heart hammering in my chest as I saw Harvey leave out of the corner of my eye. With a deep breath, I pushed up out of my chair and followed after him. 

Circling around the office a few times, I made up reasons and excuses not to go see him. It was stupid, I knew that, but I didn’t want to bring him something and then immediately be called an idiot for bringing him shit he already knew.

I saw how he treated Mike. And Louis. Even Donna from time to time.

There were two things you did in this world: die, and respect Harvey Specter. As a first year associate in this god awful firm, you didn’t dare break his trust or waste his time. 

“Is Mr. Specter available for a moment?” I asked Donna. I hadn’t talked to her much, but I’ve heard her speak to Harvey a few times around the office. She was someone I wished I knew better, someone I wished I could ask for help, but I didn’t want to bother her either. 

“Yeah, he’s in his office going over the statements from the mock trial,” Donna smiled, pointing over her shoulder. I nodded, willing my feet to move in the direction of his office. I knocked before pushing the glass door opening, keeping my head down. 

“Claudia, now is really not a good-” ���I have something for you,” we spoke at the same time. “I’m sorry to interrupt, I can come back and-” “Is that for the mock trial?” He asked, and I nodded. “Hand it over.”

I placed the file in his outstretched hand as he came around to sit on the corner of the desk. My hands were trembling with dread as his eyes raked over the words on the page. The lines in his forehead creased, eyes narrowing.

“Claudia, this is brilliant,” he had a very confused expression when his eyes met mine. “Where did you find this?”

“Well, I figured if Mrs. Thompson said that she didn’t pay her rent that month, because there wasn't money in her account, then there had to be some kind of a trail. Some clue. There was, but it was only an amount, and it didn’t say which account it came from. When I did some digging, I found out that she uses Capital One banking and when I looked at her bank statement-

“There was a draw for the exact amount that Mr. Saros used to bet on that game,” Harvey finished before I could get the words out of my mouth. “Claudia, this is genius. Come on, we’ve got a case to win.”

____

“...Ladies and gentlemen of the jury, this compelling evidence reveals that Mr. Saros was in fact fraudulent and used his ex- wife’s funds to continue gambling. Thank you.” Harvey closed the argument, taking a seat besides Donna, who represented the client. Jessica looked to the opposing counsel as if to say ‘do you have anything?’. Louis had nothing. Not a sliver of hope. 

“Then it is decided, Mr. Saros will be charged with a misdemeanor and face a prison sentence of one year in county jail.”

With a crack of the gavel, the case was over, and applause rang through the office for Harvey and his team. I had a tiny smile on my face as I left the conference room to go back to the bullpen. There was an endless stack of reports to run, motions to file… it never ended when it came to Louis. And now that I was on the winning team I’m sure that-

“Claudia, where are you going?” Harvey called out. 

“Oh, I was just going back to my desk. Why, is there something that you need?” God I hope he didn’t need anything. I was sweating bullets by just standing next to him. 

“I just wanted to congratulate you on your first win,” he gave a small smirk. His brown eyes were sharp, but not as intense as they usually were. 

I flushed, “Well, it’s not really a real case.”

“No, it’s not. But seeing what you did today, how would you like one of your own?” He extended a blue file back to me, a stack of papers covered inside. I could feel the gaze of the other associates on me as I hesitantly took the file. 

“Mr. Spector, I’m honored, but I’m not-”

“Yes you are,” he cut me off. I bit my tongue. “You are a lawyer, Claudia. And you clearly have an outside the box approach to your tactics which we don’t see very often. I haven’t seen someone able to compile and order evidence like you since Mike came to work for me a decade ago. I’ll be supervising your case, you report to me with any questions you might have, but otherwise this is all you.”

My first case… given to me by Harvey Specter himself.

“I don’t know what to say,” I whispered. I flipped through the file, seeing that this wasn’t just some pro-bono case. This was against a big time client and the SEC. The SEC meant Sean Cayhill, who, from my understanding, was already on the rocks with this firm and has been for a very long time. 

“You can thank me when you win it,” he extended his hand, and I shook it, hoping that they weren’t sweaty. “Look over the file tonight and come ready to swing tomorrow morning.”

Harvey’s hand was warm, and significantly larger than mine. Everything about him was bigger than I was, especially his ego. And his personality. Lord help me…

My nod was the only confirmation that I would meet him there. As he walked out, I met some of the eyes of the associates and they scowled at me. At the file in my hand. At the fact that I hadn’t said a word the whole meeting today and then came up with the winning piece of evidence. And now I was working alongside Harvey. 

The infamous closer at Pearson-Specter-Litt. 

____

“Claudia, what’s wrong?” Donna startled me so bad I dropped my coffee on the floor with a shout. “Something’s really wrong.”

“Oh, it’s just you Donna,” I sighed in relief. I could feel the coffee seeping into my shirt and chilling against my skin. “Great.”

“What has you so skittish?” She asked, worry gracing her features. 

I didn’t want to admit that it was because of Harvey and the fact that I had to work alongside him on this case. I hadn’t been able to sleep much last night because I was up thinking about him, wondering how he’d handle this case himself. What he would do, how he would do it. Sure, I admired the guy, how could I not? He was a perfectionist and always found a way. I wish I had half the confidence he did. 

“It’s Harvey, isn’t it?”

“How did you know that? Nevermind, you’re Donna. But… Yes it’s because of Harvey.”

“Did he say something to you yesterday after you guys won the mock trial? I saw he handed you a case file, what was it all about?” “That's precisely what’s wrong,” I groaned, bending over and picking up the dropped paper cup. “He gave me a case of my own as a 'thank you' for finding the evidence that won the trial yesterday. I’m terrified of him, Donna. I-I don’t know how to act around someone with that kind of personality. He is so abrasive and forward and harsh and-”

“A total jackass?” She finished for me. 

I chuckled nervously, “I’m afraid to even think of that word in association with his name. I mean, how am I supposed to work alongside someone that intense? Plus, I’m a first year associate, how am I supposed to compete with what he as to offer and-”

“Hey, it’s okay. No need to get yourself all worked up, Claudia. Harvey is a lot of bark, and only some bite.” “That doesn’t make me feel better.”

“What I’m trying to say is that there is some heart inside that cold dead chest of his,” she smiled, a genuine, friendly smile. “For what it’s worth, I’ve never seen him give someone a case after a mock trial. Not even Mike. Up until yesterday I’m not even sure he knew you existed.” “Wish it was still that way,” I rolled my eyes, folding my arms against my chest.

“Claudia, listen to me. Yes, Harvey can be rude and obnoxious, but he is the best damn attorney in the state of New York. He didn’t get to the top by being nice and sweet. He was impressed with your willingness to bring him the evidence yourself. Now he knows he can count on you to get things done in a pinch when he needs them.” “I had that evidence for an hour,” I emphasized. “I was trying to build up the courage to give it to him long before he came and ripped us to shreds for not having anything. I just didn’t want him to think that it was a stupid idea or to be in a bad mood and turn me away because I definitely wouldn’t have done it at all after that. I don’t know how to deal with someone like him, Donna. What am I supposed to do? I should just give the case to Griffin or Thomas-”

“No no no. You are definitely not going to do that. That will only show Harvey that you aren’t serious about becoming a lawyer.”

“I am serious about becoming a lawyer.” I was mildly offended that she’d even say that to me. “Of course I want to be a lawyer, it's all I’ve ever wanted.”

“And Harvey will only know that if you work on this case with him.”

I inhaled and exhaled, leaning my head back and looking at the ceiling. “Fine.” “That’s my girl,” she grinned. “Now, come on. I have an extra dress you can borrow because I am sure as hell not letting you walk around covered in coffee stains.”

“I appreciate it, but I don’t think what you have will fit me.” Donna jerked her head over her shoulder and I followed to a closet in the back of the file room. When she opened it, it was like a full blown wardrobe. There were dresses and shoes and purses and hair supplies lining the walls. “Woah…” “Don’t ever underestimate the power of Donna,” she winked before rummaging through the office closet. 

After searching for a few moments, she pulled out a lovely royal blue dress that was, as she hinted at, a perfect size for me. How she knew that it would fit, I’ll never know. But I did know that I wouldn’t ever underestimate the power of Donna ever again. She’s magical. 

“Now, what do you say?”

“Thanks, Donna,” I smiled sweetly. 

“Actually I was looking for ‘you are an ethereal goddess who makes all my dreams and wishes come true’ but that works too,” I knew she was teasing, and I gave her a small shove of her shoulder. “Go get dressed, come back here and let me do your hair.”

“What’s wrong with the way it is?” I turned to look in the mirror on the back of the door and grimaced. “Oh…” My messy curls from yesterday looked more like a rat wrapped around a bunch of fishing line.

“Hurry up, Harvey will be back soon and I want you in that office, file in hand, ready to go when he gets here.”

I quickly shuffled to the bathroom and changed into the form fitting, very Donna-style dress. It didn’t look half bad, and I actually somewhat tolerated the dress. Normally I’d find a pants suit far more flattering and business appropriate than a dress, strictly because of the over sexualized nature of women's business clothing. 

I hate the corporate world. 

I did one more glance in the mirror before heading back to the break room to grab the file. I must’ve set it on the counter while I was pouring my coffee. Hopefully it wasn’t ruined. 

There was no blue file on the counter. Or the table. Or on top of the microwave or the fridge. I even checked inside the microwave. Nothing. It was nowhere. Oh shit.

“Do you want curls or for me to straighten-” “It’s gone,” there was a clear panic in my voice. “The file, it’s not in the break room, Donna. It’s gone.”

“How can it be gone?” 

“I-I don’t- I don’t know I thought I set it on the counter while I was getting coffee and it’s not there.” I felt a cold sweat break out onto my skin. My forehead was damp to the touch. 

“Okay, take a deep breath. Let’s go look again and then check your desk. Maybe someone found it and put it there, or maybe left it with me or Gretchen. It didn’t grow a pair of legs and walk away, we’ll find it.”

“I’m gonna get fired,” my voice was almost a silent whisper, tears building behind my eyes, prickling my nose. “Donna, Harvey is going to kill me.”

“Worst comes to worst we get a new file, Harvey will never know.”

“No no no he will because he had notes of his own on the papers in there.” “Shit,” she swore. “Let’s just go look.”

We speed walked through the bullpen, earning some odd looks as we practically sprinted through the office. She checked the break room for me again, and I went to my cubicle. Nothing, not a blue folder anywhere to be seen. 

Donna came up empty handed in the break room, checking with Gretchen on her way by Louis’s office. We met at her desk. Nothing. 

“Fuck fuck fuck this is bad.” My hands were shaking, heart thundering against my ribs. I felt faint, like I could’ve fallen to the floor at any moment. “Donna, what am I gonna do?”

“Maybe somebody mistook it as their own file,” Donna blurted out after a moment of silence. She took off towards the bullpen and I followed after her, right on her heels. She marched through there, unapologetic as she invaded the other associates' work spaces. 

Still nothing. No blue file labeled ‘Devlyn Inc. Vs. Fulton Dynamics’. 

“Where the hell could it be?” She murmured to herself. 

“What are you guys looking for?” An associate, Benson, asked. 

“Oh, you know, a leprechaun pissing pieces of gold,” Donna’s voice was full of sarcasm. “Claudia set down a file in the break room for three minutes and forty-two seconds and now it’s mysteriously disappeared. Know anything about it?”

“No,” he pressed his lips together. “Not really.” “Not really?”

“There are a million case files floating around this office, you really expect me to pay attention to every single one and where it’s going?” “As an associate of this firm, yes, actually. I do. Now I want to know if you know who took her file and I want to know right now. You have one chance to tell the truth, otherwise the bottom of my stiletto and your ass are gonna be great friends.”

Benson swallowed, “I truly don’t know. I’m sorry, I can keep an eye out for it. Is it the one Harvey gave Claudia yesterday?”

“Yes, and he needs it in twenty minutes,” Donna said, an undeniable urgency in her voice. “If you find it, do the right thing and give it back or so help me god you will find yourself jobless faster than you can get down on your knees and beg me to let you keep it.”

Donna beckoned me for her to follow and I did, my heart sinking and sinking into my stomach. It had to be around here somewhere. It had to be. 

I did another lap around, rummaging through all the drawers in the desk and thensome. Still nowhere. How could I be so stupid? So irresponsible? This is exactly why I didn’t want to take this case in the first place.

Despite all Harvey and Donna said the other day, I’m not ready to be a lawyer. Not really, anyway. I know I have my license and I’ve passed the Bar. I’ve done all the hard work, but this was… this was hell. A living nightmare. Not only was this firm constantly on the verge of collapsing, but it seemed like I made new enemies every other week by simply doing my job quickly, quietly, and efficiently. 

I don’t know how or why I piss everyone off all the time. I just do my work, I quite literally don’t bother another soul in this building unless I have to. Occasionally I’d ask Donna a question that she could ask Harvey or Mike to see what they thought about it. I’d never speak to them directly, just through her which didn’t make me feel good, either. 

I’d eat by myself, working through my meal. It took me two months of being here to finally use the break room because I was too nervous about taking the last tea bag or power bar from the cabinet. I just took a disposable coffee cup and filled it with tap water. And then kept that cup because I didn’t want to take the others because I figured other people needed them for coffee and I didn’t want them to be all gone-

“Claudia,” Donna interrupted my mild panic. “Harvey wants to see you.”

Oh no… no no no not yet god please not yet. I swallowed, or tried to at least; there was no moisture in my mouth whatsoever. I stood, knees trembling as I smoothed out the skirt of my dress.

Before I went on, she ran a brush through my hair, taking out the knots. It lay sleek and flat against my shoulders, a major difference from the low bun I always kept it in. My hair always made me so hot; I never understood how anyone could get anything done with it swaying in their face all day.

I could see him in his office, eyes staring us down as we rounded the corner. His gaze was locked on me and I felt my body tighten and constrict around a breath. Harvey was sitting on the corner of his desk, fingers toying with the cufflink on his left wrist.. 

“Hey, look at me,” Donna spoke softly, hands coming to my shoulders. “Give Harvey the truth, and nothing but. He will understand, if not, I will make him.”

I nodded.

When I pushed open his glass door, tension was thick in the air. My palms were clammy, still shaking. My mind was going a million miles a second. 

“What can I do for you, Mr. Specter?” I asked, trying to keep my cool despite almost throwing up. 

“Please tell me you have some good news about the case that I gave you,” he sighed, pushing off the desk and standing in front of me. 

Welp… here goes my career. 

“Actually, Mr. Specter there is something I need to-”

“You were looking for me, Harvey?” I whipped my head over my shoulder, seeing Griffin knocking on the door. 

“Yes, Griffin come on please, shut the door as well.”

“Oh, I’m sorry, sir. I can come back and we can discuss the details of-”

“No, Claudia. Stay for a moment,” Harvey gave a firm nod, full attention slipping from me to my fellow associate. “Griffin, I see you have something for me.”

“Yes,” Griffin threw a wicked grin at me before handing over a blue file. I could feel the sick rise in my throat. That was my blue file. “I would just like to go over the details of my case with you to get your input.”

“Your case?” Harvey questioned, sharing a glance between me and Griffin. “Where did you get this? Who the hell gave you a case?”

“That’s not important. I was hoping we could actually-”

“No,” Harvey cut him off. “It’s very important, actually. Because I can recall that just last night this exact file, with my handwriting, was in Claudia’s hands. So whatever act you’re putting on, I suggest you cut the bullshit right now.” “Okay I found it in the breakroom,” Griffin rolled his eyes. “Maybe if she were a little more responsible, which she clearly isn’t because she left her documents in a public space, then she’d be more equipped to handle a real case. Like a real lawyer should.”

I could see the muscle in Harvey’s jaw clench and contract several times. 

“Claudia, care to explain how our case got in this thief’s hands?” “Thief?” “I had spilled coffee,” I started, taking a deep breath when Griffin cut me a gaze so threatening I almost crumbled to my knees. “I spilled coffee and Donna offered a change of clothes for me. I didn’t even notice I left it. When I came back it was gone.”

“Well, I think that about settles it. How about you get out of here before you cause yourself a real problem. And If I ever catch wind of you stealing another one of Claudia’s files, or anyones for that matter, I will personally make your life a living hell. Do you understand me?”

“Yes,” he ground his teeth, refusing to look at either of us. 

“Now get your ass back to your desk and pray to whoever you believe in that I don’t have you fired and disbarred for the shit you pulled today. Get the hell out of my sight.”

Griffin was out of there far faster than he walked in, head down, hands shoved in his pockets. I let out a shaky breath. 

“Are you okay?” Harvey asked me. “I’m so sorry,” I completely ignored his question. “Griffin was right, I was extremely irresponsible and shouldn’t have let that file out of my sight. If you want to give it to another associate I completely understand. Again, I am so sorry and understand that there are consequences to my actions for letting such important information go missing-”

“Claudia, slow down,” he eased. “It’s okay, you are not the one I am pissed at.”

“You’re not?” I didn’t understand why. “But- but I completely misplaced a case.”

“No,” Harvey shook his head. “No Griffin is the only one to blame. You spilled coffee, went to go get cleaned up, and he stole it. He should know better. And seeing that he clearly doesn’t, I know I’m right in my decision on who to bring onto this case with me.”

I could feel my blush creep up my neck. “I appreciate that, Mr. Specter.”

“Of course, Claudia. And please, call me Harvey.”

I just gave a subtle nod, taking the file from his hand. I followed his gaze from my face to my hair where he took a strand between his fingers, letting the end curl around his digit.

“I’ve never seen your hair so long,” He added, dropping it from his grip. My breath was caught in my throat. Words were vacant shadows in my mind as he surveyed the dress I was wearing. “I bet that’s Donna’s, isn’t it.”

I had to clear my throat before I could speak. “She wouldn’t let me walk around with coffee stains all day.”

“It looks good on you,” He complimented. Harvey’s eyes, again, went from my head to my toes. There was nothing I could do but fall victim to his… I didn’t know what to think of how he looked at me. Couldn’t decide if it was good or bad. 

“Time for the case then?” I needed to get his attention off of me. Now. I was flushed and losing my mind. Harvey didn’t really seem to acknowledge my words at all. 

“Sure.” Was all he gave me.

____

I barely escaped with the skin on my teeth after our consultation. No, he didn’t rip me to shreds, but he would not take his eyes off of me for even one second. It was so… so potent I couldn’t focus. It was almost lunch when Donna came in and saved my ass. 

I couldn’t have gotten out of there fast enough.

“So, how did it go?” Donna asked as I sat in my cubicle. When she came around, or maybe she just followed me, I didn’t know. 

I put my face in my hands. “It was a disaster, Donna. I was a stuttering mess and I kept forgetting everything I was going to say because he would not stop staring at me. Like, he would not stop.” “Well, you aren’t exactly ugly, Claudia,” she snickered. 

“Donna, this isn’t funny,” I groaned. “I’m being completely frank with you.”

“How can I be expected to work alongside him when I can’t stand being in an enclosed space with him for more than four minutes without turning into a bumbling idiot? It’s like he enjoys watching me get flustered.”

“Claudia, I think you are making this a bigger deal in your head than it actually is.” Donna came around and sat on my desk, crossing a knee over the other. “And besides, Harvey understands what it’s like to be a new associate. It can be nerve wracking, especially when you have Louis breathing down your neck.”

I chuckled gravely, “I just don’t know what I’m supposed to do.”

“You’ll figure it out.” “Why can’t you just tell me?” I whined as she stood up. 

“Because I am the Yoda to your Luke Skywalker. Wise you are, patience you must have, my young Padawan.”

“I am not a Jedi who is going on a self discovery journey to start using the Force,” I countered. “I am a nervous wreck who can’t handle being alone with Harvey Specter.”

“Then you need to get over it because Harvey is not going to berate you on your first case!” She argued.

“Did you not hear what he said to Griffin? Or-or to Thomas when he suggested that we consider taking the deal that Mr. Saros had offered during the mock trial? He cracked them wide open and left them to bleed. What about with Mike? How many times has he almost sent him to the curb for not being able to find what Harvey needs?”

“Mike is different and you know it,” Donna lowered her voice. “Plus he always says shit like that to light a fire under his ass. Harvey can see that you are nervous to work with him. He isn’t going to hang you out to dry, I promise. He stood up for you, Claudia, in a way I’ve only seen him do with me and Mike. You know how much he cares about us.”

“Well, yeah of course. But you’ve worked for him for fifteen years and Mike almost seven now. You have a relationship with him and established trust. How am I supposed to have that with him when I can’t even look him in the eye?” “It comes with time, Claudia,” she rubbed my shoulder. “But if there is anything I can say to get you to trust the process, Harvey is loyal, almost to a fault sometimes. He will stop at nothing to make sure the people he cares about are taken care of. I can see that he wants that for you because if he didn’t, he wouldn’t have given a shit if Griffin stole the file or not.”

Donna walked away after smoothing down some of the hair on my head, disappearing behind the corner. I let out a huff. She was right, I was being a little over dramatic.

Harvey had a reputation, though. How was I supposed to know if- no. This is unrelated to anything going on. Sort of. I just need to focus on the case. 

I pulled out the files and looked over them again, compiling all the notes into one space for easy recall. As I was looking through it, I found a loophole in one of the contracts that unbound our client from having to give up half of her company.

____

I paced up and down Harvey’s office, tapping my file in my hand as I went through all my key points in my head for today’s trial. I needed to lure, or bait rather, the witnesses into my questions to get them to admit to trespassing on our clients property. We had everything we needed; security footage, witnesses to testify on our behalf… Everything was all lined up. I just needed to blow it. 

I could do this, right? I had only spent all night doing a fake run of how today would go in my mirror, but then again anything could happen when I got into that courtroom today. Maybe they had another leg on us, maybe there was another witness they had to testify against us.

God dammit, if I screwed up today I wouldn’t get another case. Probably not ever again unless I packed up all my shit and moved to Iowa. 

Having Harvey there didn’t make me feel better. I thought it would, but as we worked together I realized he only made me more nervous. I couldn’t help it, he just looked at me this way I couldn't describe. It was incredibly annoying, I don’t know how Mike does it. Or Donna. Or Jessica or Louis or-

Jesus focus, Claudia. I rubbed my eyes with my thumbs. Just focus focus focus. I’ve been over it a million times. I could do this. I didn’t have a choice, court was in less than half an hour. 

“Claudia,” Harvey ripped me from my concentration, making me jump. “Sorry to startle you. Are you ready for today?” “Not really,” I admitted. “I am kind of freaking out, to be honest.”

“It’s okay,” he eased me to sit next to him. “What are you so nervous for?”

I chuckled, “Everything.” “Okay,” he gave a half-hearted laugh. “What specifically? Just name one thing that you are worried about.”

“I don’t know- forgetting cross examination questions? Screwing up the order so it doesn’t lead him into our trap? A billion things could go wrong and I’m not sure what to do if I freeze or stutter. What if the jury or the opposing counsel laughs at me?”

“That is not gonna happen, Claudia,” Harvey reassured. “You have prepared some amazing questions, you’ve got this in the bag.” “You know, I much prefer to stay in the background and do research. I don’t think I’m cut out to handle court stuff this is-”

“Hey,” he said so softly I almost didn’t hear him. He grabbed my trembling hand and held it between his own. My body went completely rigid, chest puffing in and out with heavy breaths. “You are going to do great today, I know it, Claudia. You are prepared, capable, and even more prepared. This is always what you’ve wanted to do, isn’t it?” I just nodded. Over the past week and a half of working together, I had told him what made me want to be a lawyer in the first place. About how I saw my best friends’ parents' business completely ruined by a group of robbers and their insurance did nothing to help them.

It made me so sad for them, made me feel so sick that I knew I had to do something to help them. I did my research and then brought it to them. They brought it to their lawyer and ended up getting a settlement for far more than they were ever gonna get. All because of me and my discovery that I made on my computer when I was thirteen.

“Okay. Think back to teenage Claudia for a moment. I bet she dreamed of being in this exact position. Where she can help people and give the sorry bastards who put them there a taste of their own medicine. Well, Claudia, here you are. Your very first case. Your very first helping hand. Your very first entrance into the world of the law. And you are going to absolutely shake up those witnesses, blindside them so hard they won’t have a choice but to tell the truth. This is your moment, Claudia’s moment. Don’t let fear take it from you, okay?” Again, all I could do was nod. And think about how warm his hand was in mine. We stood and he let go, leading me out of the office and down to his car waiting for him in front of the building. Ray, his driver, greeted me sweetly as I settled into the back seat with Harvey.

I flipped through my cards over and over and over on our way to the court house. Harvey snatched them from me. “Hey!” “You know the material,” he gave me a pointed look, sliding them in the breast pocket of his jacket. 

“I know but-” “There is no but,” he shrugged. “Have just one ounce of confidence, Claudia. Trust yourself.”

All of whatever I had been reading was swept from my mind as he placed his palm on my knee. I hadn’t realized it was bouncing up and down until he pressed against it to stop its movements. I tried to sit still, but I just started picking at my nails instead. 

“Claudia,” he said in a stern, commanding voice. I stopped my fidgeting, laying my hands flat in my lap. “Good, just relax. Everything will be alright.”

Highly doubtful. He was playing a dangerous game, and we both knew it. But neither of us said anything as he left his hand there the entire car ride. 

____

“After the conclusion of today’s trial, the jury here finds Fulton Dynamic guilty of trespassing and breaking and entering with intent to steal inside information.”

I felt the tension deflate from my body, eyes fluttering shut as the judges whacked the wooden disk on his stand. He said something, but I couldn’t even hear over the roar in my ear. Holy shit we won…

“Claudia,” Harvey shook my shoulder. I snapped my eyes to him. “Come on, let's get out of here.”

He didn’t have to tell me twice. 

I rested my head back against the seat, eyes focused on the window outside so I wouldn’t throw up. Man did I hate getting car sick every time I looked at my phone when in a car. The city lights were bright and fierce, unrelenting all hours of the day. Why on god's green earth did I decide to move to New York? Out of all the places I could’ve gone to work as an associate in this state, why did I choose the city? I hate the city. I’ve always hated the-

“Yoo-hoo,” I heard from my side. I lifted my exhausted head and gave Harvey a look. “Did you hear anything I said?”

‘Oh… n-no I’m sorry,” I stiffened, giving him my full attention. “What were you talking about?”

“I was just saying that you did a great job today, Claudia. You kicked ass in there,” he smiled.

“Thanks, Mr. Specter.” I just let out a sigh.

“You don’t think so?”

“Not really.” Anxiety swirled in my chest. Tears pricked my eyes and nose. 

“Why not? Claudia, you gave one of the best cross examinations I think I’ve ever seen. And the way you handled Cayhill? Defended Devlyn from those accusations? It was masterful.”

“It doesn’t feel like it.”

Silence hung between us. I felt like I couldn’t breathe. “You did great today.”

“I was a complete idiot when I was defending Devlyn. I was way too animated and let my emotions get the best of me. For Christ's sake Judge Peterson gave me a warning.”

“I want you to take a guess at how many warnings judges give me when I’m the one in there leading the case.”

“You’re Harvey Specter, of course you… get a lot.”

“You right, I do get a lot. But that isn’t a bad thing. And I’ve been doing this a hell of a lot longer than you-” “That’s the problem,” I snapped. “You have been doing this for seventeen years and I’ve been doing it for ten days. I’ve barely got my toe in the water and I’ve already shown other lawyers and firms that I can’t keep my cool.”

“Claudia, you are passionate. I don’t see that as a huge problem in the courtroom. There needs to be a level of pushback from attorneys because if you, of all people on someone’s legal team, aren’t going to fight back, then you might as well be fired. Because you are the only person some people have hope for. You have to be aggressive and assertive sometimes to get the job done.”

“I don’t know how to do that.”

“I am going to teach you,” Harvey’s words completely short circuited my brain. 

“What do you mean?”

“Claudia, I think you’re going to be a great lawyer, even without my help. I know you struggle with confidence and that is all I want to help you with. To get some leverage over these other associates so you can climb that ladder.”

“I can’t just magically pull a wagon load of confidence out of my ass overnight,” I shook my head, folding my hands tightly together. “I don’t see how you can help me.”

The car pulled up outside the building and Harvey let out a sigh. Great. Now I’ve pissed him off, too. That’s exactly what I needed to do was piss off Harvey Specter after a great win. In all honesty, it had been a good day. I didn’t fumble the ball like I was going to, but this was completely taking away from them.

My door opened. Harvey looked down at me from outside and extended his hand. When did he get out of the car? I hesitantly took it, getting out and shutting the door behind me.

“Claudia,” Harvey started. “You need to learn to let go. To put the bad moments behind you.” “I can’t.” “Which is why you and I are going to go back up there and have a drink. Get to know each other a little bit so we can start building that trust. I know I intimidate you, and I try like hell to be as calm as I can around you, but one day Louis or Jessica or Donna is going to come into my office and give me some bad news. You might be there and see how I handle it. You might not, but I don’t want you to be afraid of that happening to you.”

“And how can I be sure that if I come up with a plan one day, and it falls through and goes to shit, you won’t flip out on me or fire me or-or-”

“Because I won’t. I give you my word. But I need yours as well.”

“Need my word, why?” “I need to know that you won’t think I’m a monster if you’re in the room and I lose my cool.”

I’ve never thought Harvey was a monster to begin with. I’ve always admired his ability to shut off his feelings and get the dirty work done. Of course I’ve seen that side of him a time or two, but never catastrophic like some of the stories I’ve heard from the third and fourth years.

“You have my word.”

The elevator chime brought me out of my spiraling momentarily to walk to Harvey’s office. The firm was empty, not even Jessica was here. He led me to his office and got to work on the drinks. My eyes wandered from him to the view through the window. This was the only part of the city I might’ve let myself enjoy from time to time. 

“Donna was right, you do have a lot of music,” I noted, taking in the wall filled with vinyl records. She mentioned it when I was caught with my head buried in a book in the library, some random Beatles song blasting so loud she could hear it down the hall. 

“You’re just now noticing that?” “Well, I haven’t exactly been in your office for anything other than to work on this case so… no I guess I never really noticed.”

“You can pick something to listen to, if you’d like.” He was gonna let me touch his records? This place was like a museum; autographed basketballs and baseballs, art hanging on the wall. “Or you can just stare at it.”

I flushed, picking up a record at random and handing it to him. In exchange, he handed me a glass a third full of whisky. I smelled it, it kind of made me scrunch my nose. I didn’t drink often; most of the time I was too tired to even feed myself let alone consume alcohol.

When I took a sip, I actually didn’t mind the taste. It was smooth, simple in flavor and didn’t burn too bad. Quite nice, for all it’s worth. 

There was a couch along the wall of records that I fixed myself on, Harvey taking the time to remove his tie and lay it across his desk before sitting across from me on one of the chairs. I toed off my pumps and set them on the floor beside the table. God damn did my feet hurt. 

“Do you do this with all the new associates?”

“What do you mean?” He asked, taking a seat in one of the chairs while I took up the couch. 

“I mean, when you think they’re ready, do you give them a case and help them get their foot in the door?”

“No, no I don’t,” Harvey admitted. “Louis is in charge of the associates. You know that.”

“Yes,” I nodded. “But I just thought that there was some deal between you guys: you have a mock trial with the new associates, whichever team wins gets to give a case to the best performing associate.”

Harvey laughed. I didn’t even know he knew how to do that. “Oh, Claudia, you really are that innocent, aren’t you?” My throat collapsed on itself. What did I say?

“Relax,” he set his glass down, swallowing his sip. “Yes, we do a fake trial every year for the first years, but we don’t just give them cases when they win. No one in their right mind would give a first year associate, fresh out of law school, the time of day. Normally they have to prove themself down the line, after years and years of loyalty to this firm to get their first case. And it’s usually pretty easy pro-bono shit.” I had to stop and think for a moment before I could speak. “You keep saying normally, usually… What are you saying?”

“What I’m saying, Claudia, is that in my decade plus of working here, I’ve never seen an associate who busts their ass quite like you. Who takes every ounce of bullshit from Louis and turns it into the Mona Lisa.”

“I think that everyone does tha-”

“No,” he cut me off. A stern look in his eyes, lips in that crooked line. “No they don’t. Not like you. You put your head down, get into it, and don't come up until you’ve found what you were looking for and thensome. You go above and beyond every time. You don’t go to Louis begging for more work, he brings it to you, and only you, because he knows he can count on you. Which means I know I can count on you, too.”

I honestly didn’t know what to say. I kind of just wanted the ground to swallow me whole. To make me evaporate and never see the light of day again. 

“Thank you, Mr. Specter. But I don’t know if you’ve noticed or not but I am not very good in the spotlight. I don’t do well with… all of this.”

“I know, but I’m glad that you are trying anyway,” his smile was very charming. In a way that made his eyes crinkle. “So, besides giving a hell of a cross examination, what else do you like to do for ‘fun’?” 

“Well, for starters, your definition of fun, and mine, are going to be very different. I am a very solitary person, I don’t need to be around people to have a good time. Most of the time I prefer to go do things by myself because I find when I ask, people already have plans, or they’re faking having plans so they don’t have to hang out with me. I can’t tell what is the truth and what isn’t so I stopped asking… that was totally not what you asked. Sorry, I didn’t mean to ramble.”

“Go ahead, talk about whatever you want. I won’t judge you.”

A small part of me believed that he wouldn’t. A tiny, microscopic part. 

“There is nothing like the feeling of getting lost in a good book. I’m a complete sucker for a cliche rom-com where the bad guy gets the good girl.”

Harvey let out a dramatic puff of air, laughing into the space around us. 

“You said you wouldn’t judge!” I chuckled. 

“I’m not, it’s just lame. Come on, what do you really like to do for fun?”

“That is what I really like to do for fun,” I let my hand fall to the cushion beside me. “I told you, I am not a very interesting person. I don’t have time for a whole lot of anything other than working here so… Most of my hobbies have been put on the back burner through grad school and working nonstop.”

“If you could be any type of sea creature, what would you be?” 

“What does that literally have anything to do with anything we were just talking about?”

“It doesn’t,” Harvey smiled. “I’m just curious.”

“I don’t know, a jellyfish?”

“Really?” He questioned, one brow rising higher than the other. “I’d be a great white shark.”

“Of course you would,” I snickered. “Harvey Specter, the Great White of New York. If you wanted to be a real predator that no one fucks with, you should be an Orca.” “A whale?” “The killer whale,” I corrected. “They put sharks in the obituary for fun, you know. They sink yachts for fun, too. If you really want to be on top, be an Orca. No one in their right minds fucks with an Orca. They’re intelligent and not afraid of anything.”

“Aww, you think I’m intelligent and not afraid of anything?” Harvey mewled. 

“Well, duh you’re Harvey Specter.” Everyone knew it. Harvey was the baddest cat in the sky, you didn’t approach him without giving him your respect. Cause if you didn’t, a whole boat load of shit will be coming your way. 

Harvey rolled his eyes. “Well, I hate to break it to you, but there is more to Harvey Specter than the title my name comes with.”

“Of course,” I agreed. “Harvey Specter, badass attorney and the best closer New York has ever seen, killer whale of the corporate world.” Harvey couldn’t keep his laugh inside, sending the rumbling noise into the office. I made Harvey laugh, and I have for the past however many minutes. 

“You left out the part where I’m devastatingly attractive and charming,” his smirk was nothing short of either of those things. Devastating and charming. It cut through me like a hot knife. I knew I blushed because his eyes went to my cheeks and that spot at the base of my throat that always gives it away. 

My fingers tapped away anxiously at the glass in my hands, fingernails rattling against its crystal surface. 

“It’s late I should… I should go.” Great, now I’m flustered and stuttering. As quickly as I could, I threw my heels back on and reached for my coat. 

“Claudia-”

“Thank you for the drink, and for all your help on the case,” I hurried out, trying to not let my voice break and give away all the things I wanted to say. “Have a good night, Mr. Specter.”

“Claudia.” His voice commanded, stopping my movements. I held still on the couch, drinking in his stare. “Stay.”

“Mr. Specter I really should-”

“Harvey,” he bit out a little harshly. “Stop calling me Mr. Specter.”

“I’m sorry. Harvey, it’s late.” He just nodded, taking a sip from his glass. “And?”

“It’s been a long day and I think we should both go and get some much deserved rest,” I spoke quietly, resuming my nail picking from earlier. 

“Do you really want to leave?” 

It was such a loaded question. Yes, absolutely I wanted to fucking leave. But there was something deep in his eyes, deep in his voice that made me want to stay and explore. My heart was hammering in my chest. I couldn’t keep my eyes off him, no matter how much I wanted to look away. It was impossible. 

“I don’t think you do,” he answered for me. “I told you I was going to help build your confidence.”

You never told me how, jackass, I thought. I swallowed, nothing going down, but I did it anyway. Harvey threw back what was left of his whisky and sat back, knees far apart, fingers drawing patterns on the arm rests of the chair. 

“Come here, Claudia.” What? “You heard me.”

Shit, I must’ve said it out loud. If I thought my heart was racing before, it sure as hell was halfway around the world now. Legs trembling, I rose. Why the fuck did I stand up? It wasn’t too late to make a beeline for the door and pray he didn’t catch up. Then again, it wasn’t like I could escape him, we worked in the same fucking building. On the same floor. 

When I came to a halt, a few feet in front of him, he held out his hand, palm up. As I put my fingers in his grasp, there was nothing I could do. Harvey yanked me to him, other hand catching my hip as I collapsed into him with a yelp. 

“Straddle my thigh,” he ordered. Something about the way his voice went down my spine made me obey. With extreme hesitance, I moved one leg on each side of his, lowering myself. I didn’t dare put all of my weight down. And he knew it because his hands came up to my hips and forced me all the way. 

“Sir, what are you-”

“Do not call me Sir unless you are ready to deal with those consequences.” His fingers dug into the exposed skin on my thigh, eyes full of his pupils. 

“Harvey, what are you doing? We shouldn’t be doing… whatever this is,” I tried to defuse the situation as best I could, but there was such a seriousness written in his features I wasn’t sure I could sway him. Maybe I didn’t want to, either. 

“How does it feel?” He asked.

I blinked, “H-How does what feel, Harvey?”

He smiled at the use of his name on my tongue. I hadn’t really ever called him by his first name.

“To have one of the most powerful men in the city underneath you, bent to your will?”

When I did look away from his face, to where I was seated on his lap, I felt my stomach start to twist and mold into something new. I did have Harvey Specter underneath me. Granted, at his own command, but still…

“And before you even think about it, no. I don’t do this with all the other associates.”

“Then why me?” My voice was a barely there whisper, gaze averted from his until his thumb caught my chin and made me look into his eyes. 

“Because I see something else in you that I don’t think anyone realizes. And I know the world will never see it unless you start believing in yourself and take control of the cards you’ve been dealt.”

I took a moment to steady my breath, and my uncontrollable thoughts. “And you think that whatever this is… you think this is going to help with that?”

Harvey shrugged, “I am in no way forcing you to be here, am I?”

My blush came creeping back. Of course he wasn’t forcing me to be here. I shook my head, my face just inches from his. I felt oddly relaxed under his touch.

“And I am not stopping you from getting up and leaving right now. It’s your choice, Claudia, but I think you want to be here, on my lap. Because if you didn’t, you would’ve already left.”

God dammit I hated this cocky son of a bitch. Was he right? Yes. Of fucking course he was. But the way his mouth curled up was dangerous. This was dangerous, and utterly a horrible idea. Was I really about to sit here, on one of my bosses thighs? He did look pretty good under me, shirt unbuttoned the top three, cologne wafting into the air every time he moved his head. 

Harvey’s hands came back to my hips as he leaned up.

“So, are you going to get up and leave? Or, are you going to ride my thigh while I tell you how pretty you look?” His breath tickled my ear, his lips trailing the space just below. I couldn’t help the shudder that went through my whole body, and I knew Harvey felt it because he cooed.

As I adjusted myself, I couldn’t help the movement, his breath on my skin was making me flutter, Harvey moved my hips back and forth. I felt the air take from my throat. The material of his pants against my core wracked through me. So unexpectedly I found myself pressing closer to him so I wouldn’t fall off. 

“That’s it, Claudia…” His voice was sickly sweet with praise. Harvey moved to fiddle with the front of his pants, and when I went to look, he caught my chin. “Eyes up here, sweetheart.”

“Harvey this… this isn’t the best idea,” I kept trying to reason. Not necessarily with him, but with myself. Obviously he wanted it, so why was I trying to convince myself to go?

“So?”

“This could have some serious implications if we don’t-”

He laughed against my neck, placing a few kisses right over where I always blushed. “Claudia, Claudia, Claudia. This is exactly what I have been talking about. You are wound far too tightly with concern. You need to let go, need to be out of control with something in your life.”

“Let me guess, that something is going to be you?”

“Only if you want it to be,” he said. “Look Claudia, I know we don’t exactly always see eye to eye on things, and we sure as hell haven’t really worked together, but that doesn’t make me less sure about this. About you. If you are having doubts, and this isn’t what you want, then walk away and we never have to talk about it ever again. But I think there is a part of you that really likes seeing me under you. That likes knowing you can make me this way.”

“And what if I do?” Harvey was right. God dammit he was right and he knew it. I looked and saw just what I had been doing to him. 

“Then just let yourself enjoy it because I know I want to.”

Man, he was quite the smooth talker. My resolve crumbled and I gave in. No, I didn’t give in, I made the choice to let this happen. Harvey wanted this too, for some reason known only to the great mother and beyond. This was not going to end well, I don’t know why I thought so, but I just know this is going to cause a problem down the road. Maybe it’ll be a good one, maybe it won’t– Jesus I need to get out of my head before I start thinking into oblivion. 

Harvey rolled his eyes, hand cupping the side of my face before his lips met mine. The gasp I let out… I could feel his smile. He guided my hand into the front of his pants, but did nothing else. Just left it there. 

When I tried to pull away, he bit my lip and pulled me right back in. Finger pressing into the front of my throat. In a commanding, possessive way that made my stomach burn with desire. 

I slowly traced around the outline of him. My fingers were trembling so fiercely that I wasn’t sure they were moving at all. As best I could control them, I made my way up to the waistband of his briefs, just… testing the waters. 

“You’re so close to where I need you,” Harvey purred, eyes looking at my surly swollen lips. “Go on, sweetheart, don’t be shy.”

I guess there really was no turning back. As my hand ventured further, I ducked down and swept my tongue into his mouth. He approved very enthusiastically. Harvey continued to guide my hips back and forth and back and forth across his thigh. All too gently, all too slowly. One of his hands kept working my hip, the other camp up around my throat.

How could he know that was one of my weakest sides? It didn’t prevent any air, but it was a firm reminder. 

His breath broke our searing lips when I moved my thumb over the tip of his cock. Harvey’s grip tightened on my throat and a noise slipped through my mouth. There was little I could do to keep my eyes from lulling back, head going with it. He made an effort to weave his fingers between my locks and pulled. A lot harder than I think he actually meant to. 

“Sorry, sweetheart,” he murmured against my ear, sending goosebumps down my neck and arms. “I can’t help myself when you make such pretty noises. I’ll be gentle.”

I huffed out a laugh, as best I could with the straight against my neck. “I don’t mind.”

“Those are dangerous words, Claudia,” he warned, bringing my head back up. His eyes were dark in a way I couldn’t process in that moment. His lips were red and his hair was a mess from my fingers. 

I tugged at him as emphasis for my earlier words. “I don’t mind you being rough with me.”

His eyes closed, and his jaw clenched. I continued my motions, slow and long, drawing divine noises from him. Even with his hands away from my hips, I still moved them, picking up pace with my hand. I took the liberty to occupy his mouth with my own, hopefully filling him with euphoria. It was fast, and quite messy. My hair was sticking to the back of my neck with sweat, and I could taste it on his skin when I couldn’t help but trail my tongue up his throat. 

Harvey murmured my name, but I didn’t stop. I couldn’t now, not with the constant moans and praise from his tongue. ‘Just like that sweetheart’, ‘I know that pretty mouth of yours will feel so much better wrapped around my cock’, ‘Can’t wait to take you apart’.

With his release, warm and wet over the back of my hand, he stilled my hips. Fingers digging in. At some point my skirt rode up, or he tugged it over my ass, and his nails left long lines of scratches. I hissed, and Harvey was breathing deep.

Harvey’s grin was nothing short of animalistic as he looked at where my hand still connected us. “Look at that, sweetheart. Look how well you’ve done.”

I could do nothing to keep my blood from rushing to my face. When I moved my hand– not entirely sure if I should get up and clean it off– Harvey snatched my wrist. 

“Open.”

I was going to question him, but I watched his eyes flick over my surely swollen lips. I flushed deeper. And deeper again as he moved them into my mouth. Bitter, but not in a bad way. And If I had been thoroughly fucked, I’d undoubtably find it irresistible. 

“Good girl, Claudia.”

There would be no way to recover from hearing that. I shuddered, so hard I clamped his thigh between my own, and whimpered. Like I had never before. And his stare… the way his eyes watched my tongue circle over my fingers. As they watched me swallow him down. 

“I bet you didn’t even realize,” he tilted his head, tucking hair behind my ear, flopping it behind my shoulder. 

“Realize…what?”

“How you took control. How confident you were with your hand… with that wicked tongue of yours. It was like it was second nature for you, wasn’t it? I didn’t even have to tell you to keep moving your hips. You just did it.”

I didn’t even know I was doing most of it… It all just happened. At some point or another. 

“I wouldn’t say that I was confi-”

“Yes,” he interrupted. “You were. And that feeling, of being in control, is what you need to feel when you are in the courtroom. You were able to do it here, with me, to me. It was the most powerful and direct I’ve ever seen you.”

“Sex and being a lawyer aren’t exactly the same thing.”

“No, but you were able to feel safe and let yourself go. To release all that potential and work miracles.”

“You’d consider me giving you an orgasm a miracle?”

He chuckled, leaning so his lips brushed against mine. “Your hands do miraculous things to me, Claudia. I don’t normally give myself to someone the way I did with you. I didn’t have any second thoughts about it because I knew how willing you’d be to please me. And god damn do I love watching you pleasure yourself for me.”

In the minutes that followed, Harvey stood me up and straightened out my skirt. He did give me some hand sanitizer until I could go to the bathroom. I watched as he tucked in his shirt, buttoning his pants and rolling the sleeves back up his arms. 

“Harvey?”

“Yes, Claudia?” His voice was much more mellow. 

“How often is this… you know. Gonna happen?”

He smirked, “Why, already picturing yourself on your knees for me?”

I wasn’t, but I sure as hell was now. One thing that I needed to learn to do was control my facial reactions because judging by the way his stepped closer, he could see that I was, in fact, picturing his hand in my hair while he forced me to take it down my-

“Oh sweet sweet Claudia,” he chuckled, tilting up my chin. “You really are that eager to please me.”

“I was just wondering when you were going to return the favor.”

Harvey seized my throat, tighter than he had before. “Don’t you worry, sweetheart. I will have my name dripping from your tongue for so long you will forget it completely and beg for mercy. And when you beg for it, just know that you won’t get it until I say you do.”

[the-marvelclub]

While you were sleeping

bucky barnes x reader

Summary: Reader is in love with the mysterious man who goes every week to the bar where she works. When one night she witnesses a fight that leaves the man in a coma and he´s taken to the hospital, she is mistaken for his fiancée, unaware that the mysterious man is Steve Rogers himself. With no family and after losing everything in The Blip, reader becomes captivated with Steve's friends and their unconditional love for her that she can't bring herself to tell the truth. Things get complicated when she finds herself falling for Steve's best friend, Bucky.

Author’s note: This is my first time writing for Bucky and I'm planning to make it a series. Loosely based on the 1995 movie "While You Were Sleeping". English is not my first language. Feedback is always appreciated.

If someone had asked you a couple of years ago if you believed in love at first sight you probably would’ve laughed in their face, the whole concept seemed to belong only in the white pages of a book or in the bright screen of a tv, but not in real life, real life was more complicated than that. The idea of giving your heart away to someone you just met was ridiculous.

But that was before.

Now you were completely sure that you belonged to him, that you had belonged to him from the moment he walked through the doors of the small and almost empty bar where you worked.

It was the way he carried himself, hands in his pockets as he made his way to the front bar, the way he wore that ridiculous baseball cap that hide his dirty blond hair, the way he had run his fingers through that full beard when he ordered a drink and how he had closed his eyes shut placing a hand on his chest laughing when Joe, the bartender and owner of the bar, told him a joke. You'd be lying if you said you didn't spend most of your time daydreaming about what it would be like to kiss him, hold his hand or even start a life with him. Well, I guess Joe was right, you needed a new hobby. His routine was always the same; Monday night, when the bar was almost empty, Steven would arrived and go straight to the front bar, order a couple of beers and exchange a couple of jokes with Joe. One hour later he would pay and then leave. Although you hadn’t spoken to him, you couldn't help but admire him from afar, happy just to see him once again.  

“Earth to y/n" Jimmy, your co-worker and next-door neighbor spoke, waving his hand repeatedly in front of your face forcing you out of your thoughts that always seemed to revolve around Steven and how much you wished the weekend would end so you could see him again. "Busy thinking about me?" You saw him giving you a crooked smile in the dim light and running his eyes up and down your entire body in a not so subtle way.  

“You got me" You sighed standing up straight, cleaning the table in front of you. Since the first day you started working there, he had taken a certain interest in you, always making flirtly comments and asking you to dates despite making it very clear you would never go out with him.

“I'm going to bed" he let out as he put on his denim jacket, little drops of sweat covering his chubby cheeks and making his curly black hair stick to his skin. "You are more than welcome to join me." He said winking at you and you couldn’t help but to roll your eyes at him, shaking your head in desapproval as you wave goodbye. 

The clock in front of you read 2:43 a.m. as you let out a yawn and rub your eyes from exhaustion watching the only clients left in the bar. Working as a waitress in a small bar wasn't your dream job but it paid the bills. Besides, Joe had taken you in and allowed you to stay in the small apartment above the bar for a reasonable price, which helped you a lot.

Things after the Blip hadn't been the same, one day you were in the kitchen of your beautiful apartment making dinner and the next thing you knew, you woke up on the cold hard kitchen floor with the most horrible headache. Strangers, who seemed to be living in your apartment now, giving you shocked looks. In a matter of seconds, 5 years had passed and everything you once knew had disappeared; your home, your job, your family. You shook your head pushing those thoughts away not wanting to think about it at that moment. Turning to look at the couple when they ask you for the check, you smiled, thinking about how in a few more minutes you would be curled up in your soft and warm bed. You really had to talk to Joe about switching to the morning shift. 

You cleaned the table once the couple had left and turned off the lights making sure the doors were securely closed. Grabbing the garbage bags you made your way to the back door and into the back alley of the bar to throw them away. The cold wind brushed against your skin making you shiver, the old streetlight which kept flickering was the only thing that separated you from the darkness of the night.

The dead silence that lately seemed to fill the city was interrupted by a sudden loud crash that startled you making you drop the garbage bags, turning around you saw a man lying on the ground trying to get up, where the hell had he come from?

You gasped.

It was Steven. Your Steven. Only this time his pretty face was covered in small cuts and blood was coming out of his nose dripping into his white shirt, the shock written all over his face when his eyes set on you made you froze. In a blink of an eye, he had lunged at you and pulled you behind the big metal trash container before the deafening sound of guns being fired and bullets passed by the two of you.

"Are you okay?" he shouted over the noise when you let out a scream and hold onto him, his worried eyes searching your face making sure you were okay. It was the first time he had ever spoken to you and you couldn’t breath, the words got caught in your throat, refusing to come out. You haven’t been this closed to him before. He seemed rather familiar. "Stay here, don't move" he ordered you when you didn’t say a word and then run into the alley again.

Your stomach shot up to your throat when you took a quick look to see what was happening; Steven was fighting with a man who were dressed in black, two more were lying unconscious in the floor, his cold and calculating look told you that he wasn't planning on stopping anytime soon. The smell of sweat and blood filled the air and fear ran through your body as you watched the man take the gun and point it at him, everything after that moved in slow motion; in one quick movement, Steven had snatched the gun from the man’s hands and threw it away as he connected his fist with his face. Blood splattered on the ground. You didn't know he could fight like that, his movements were fast and precise, as if he had been training for that moment his whole life. He smashed his knee against the man’s face and without giving him time to recover from the blow, he attacked him again, his fists reaching his already bloodied face again and again making him fall to the cement with a thud, totally unconscious. That's when a bright white light appeared, illuminating everything, a fourth man that you haven't seen before was leaning against the brick wall near Steven, he didn't look bigger than the man lying unconscious on the cement next to him but an uneasy feeling invaded you, he wasn't trying to fight Steven, in fact he hadn't tried to attack him, no, he was studying him, he was studying every move he made, that's why when Steven attacked him, he quickly dodged his blows and with a quick movement he placed both hands on his head, the white light no longer illuminated the alley but small flashes of light seemed to want to escape from in between his fingers, you didn't know what was happening but when you heard Steven howl of pain and fall to the ground on his knees you knew that he was hurting him.

You didn't know what came over you but the next thing you knew is that you grabbed a metal pipe that was lying next to you and ran towards that man, catching him off guard and hit him in the back of the head, making him dropped to the floor. You quickly turned around searching for Steven, that’s when you saw him, he was on his knees on the pavement, his back was turned from you, he stay there for a couple of seconds not moving before fallen to the ground just like the other guys. You ran to him immediately, dropping to your knees, ignoring the pain that shot up all over your legs as you did.

“No, no, no, are you okay? Talk to me" you whispered desperately as you brought your ear to his chest trying to see if his heart was still beating.  "Come on Steven, you have to wake up" you pleaded shaking him but his eyes remained closed.  With shaky hands you grabbed your phone from your pocket and diall 911.

He was not waking up.

——

"W-where are you taking him?" you asked the doctor once you finally caught sight of Steven, everything was moving so fast in the hospital, they were carrying a very unconscious Steven on the gurney and everyone was shouting instructions. You frowned as they look between Steven and you, curiosity and what it seems like confusion written all over their faces. What was going on?

The gray-haired doctor immediately turned around, finally noticing your presence when they led Steven through some doors and you tried to follow him. "Oh, you can’t go in there" he said quickly raising a hand, stopping you from entering those doors.

"No, you don't understand. I was with-"

"Are you family?" he cut you off, his gaze full of exasperation.

"No," you muttered. You just wanted to know if he was going to be okay. "But I was-"

"You can't go in. Family only." He interrupted you again "Wait in there" he said coldly pointing to the small waiting room.

You sighed in defeat knowing that there was nothing you could do now, you followed Steven with your eyes until you saw him disappear through the white doors.

“But I was going to marry him" you murmured to yourself, hating the fact that this was the first time he had ever spoken to you and now it was very likely that you would never get the chance to talk to him or see his handsome face anymore, hell you didn't even know if he was going to be okay, or if you would ever see him alive again.

You bit your nails feeling nervous as you waited in the waiting room. It had been 2 hours and you knew that they had already contacted his family and that you should probably leave but you couldn't help but stay to see if you heard at least something that would tell you that he had woken up. That he was okay.

"Hello, sweetheart" you looked up as you heard the nurse's voice standing in front of you with sympathetic eyes. "You're y/n, right?" You noded. "Come with me". Without saying a word you followed her, noticing that she was taking you to the intensive care area. "I'll give you a few minutes" she smiled stopping in front of a door and indicating for you to go in.

Steven was lying on the white hospital bed, machines connected to his still unconscious body, a sigh of relief left your body as the small sound that filled the room indicated that his heart was still beating. "Is he here? What the hell happened?" You heard a voice say before other voices chimed in and everyone started talking at the same time, commotion filling the hallway outside the room. You stuck your head out the window trying to see what was going on outside and your face lost its color. The Avengers were in the hallway along with the same doctor you had talked to hours ago and they were heading to the room. What the hell was going on? You slowly made your way to the wall as far from the door as you could when the group of superheroes enter the room, all their attention fixed on Steven, oblivious to the fact that you were in the room. You frowned at how weird the situation was and then you darted your eyes to Steven. Realization washing all over you.

You take in a sharp breath.

How had you not noticed before?  Blond hair, blue eyes, the only thing different about him was his beard which made him look very different from that golden boy that America loved. Steven... Steve. Steve Rogers. The Steve who used to be Captain America. You put your hand to your mouth in disbelief as to why you hadn't recognized him much earlier.

"What is going on?" You heard Sam Wilson ask, you remember hearing about him on the news although lately you didn’t pay much attention to what was happening, always too focus on your job or in attending the meetings of your support group.

"He's in a coma" the doctor began to explain and you took a breath "What they told me is that they found him in an alley unconscious, apparently there was a fight. We don't know much yet". You opened your mouth to tell them that you knew what had happened but the doctor spoke again "We don't know what caused this state, his vital signals are strong as well as his brain waves. He's a super soldier so i'm pretty sure he's going to be just fine". You sighed in relief as you listened to him.

"Thank you doctor, but we'll take it from here. We already have everything ready to transport him to the Avengers Compound." One of them talked and at that moment the policeman who had take your statement when you had called 911 hours ago walked through the door, his eyes fixed on you, the nurse who had let you into the unit behind him.

"I've been looking all over the hospital for you, I need to ask you a few more questions" he addressed you, making everyone in the room turn to look at you for the first time. You froze, your heart starting to pound as all eyes focused on you.

"Who's she?" The woman with short blonde hair spoke. You opened your mouth to answer when the nurse spoke for you.

"She's his fiancé."

Wait, what?

"She's Y/n and she's going to marry him" She spoke again throwing you a smile.

You shook your head repeatedly, your mouth opening and closing but no words came out, why had she said that? Commotion filled the room once again preventing you from speaking.

"Better yet, she save his life" commented the policeman smiling.

The whole room fell silent.

"I thought it was a fight," one of them said, confusion on his face.

"She fought the other guy, Steve was too weak to keep fighting, without her, he might not have survived".

They all stared at you once again, surprise written all over their faces. Before you could say anything else, the blonde haired girl, who you knew was known as Black Widow, walked up to you and wrapped her arms around you, making you freeze, squeezing you tightly before pulling away, only then you were able to see the tears that run through her face, she looked relieved but there was still worry in her eyes,  she wiped away the tears quickly before speaking. "I'm sorry, it's just that we hadn't seen or talked to him in over 2 years, we didn't even know he was here in Brooklyn, after everything that happened -" you could tell her voice cracked and she shook her head before continuing "We thought we'd never see him again. But I'm glad he found you and that you're taking care of him.” She whispered, a smile dancing on her lips. “Thank you for bringing him back to us, I can’t wait to hear all about you”.

No, no, no.

"Oh, and by the way, welcome to the family".

[physalian]

Take A Risk and Don’t Write a Chosen One

This trope stands the test of time for some very good reasons: Audience wish-fulfillment as they live vicariously through the hero, automatic plot-induced agency for your protagonist, and automatic legitimate reasons for your protagonist to join the whirlwind adventure of the day.

I like chosen ones. We all have our favorite famous chosen ones and I’m not here to say the concept of a chosen one is bad at all.

However.

Those “automatic” windfalls that come pre-packaged with the trope can lead to the author taking shortcuts, or not thinking they have to put in more effort to write a compelling character, because they’re the “chosen one,” what more do you need?

Not writing your protagonist as commanded by the powers that be to participate in the plot forces you to get creative with why they’re here, what they want, and how they entrench themselves in the story. And most importantly, if the gods haven’t chosen them to act, they must now choose themselves to act.

—

I have never read Harry Potter and after its author-who-shan’t-be-named flushed her reputation down the toilet, I never will. I’ve seen the movies, they’re ok. I have no nostalgia-driven love for this franchise, and most of that comes from watching Harry be an incredibly boring protagonist.

Book readers correct me, but Harry is the poster child of “only exists so the audience can live vicariously” with generic heroic traits and nonexistent or at least unimportant side quirks and distinguishing hobbies, interests, or personality tics. He’s “brave” and “courageous” and “determined”... as most child protagonists of children’s books should be. He has zero flaws that come back to bite him in the ass. He acts the way he’s supposed to, not the way he should want to, as an independent being.

He’s the least interesting character in this entire cast, and I can’t stand Movie Ron. Ron, Hermione, Neville, or Draco would have made much more compelling protagonists and so much of this relies on the “Harry is important because the plot demands it” crutch.

Why is he the chosen one? Because his birthday happened at the right time of year? What is the story trying to say about the dichotomy between him and Voldemort? What about his personality, his wizard-societal stances on the many faux pas in this series, or the choices he makes, that makes him the chosen one? Why should I care?

You know who’s a great chosen one? Percy Jackson. Why? Because he understands the screwed up world he lives in on page 1. Being a demigod isn’t everything he ever dreamed and despite what Disney + wants you to believe, he’s got a crap bio dad who’s as disappointing in book one as Percy expects him to be.

He’s not even the chosen one by the end of the original series, and what a fantastic twist that was.

An infamously self-chosen protagonist has her own iconic hero quote: "I volunteer as tribute". Katniss is a nobody. She's not the evil president's daughter, she's not the child of a famously martyred revolutionary, she's just a girl who refuses to bow down to the reaping, refuses to let her sister get slaughtered, and volunteers for a death match that historically sees anyone living to survive another year cowering in relief. Yeah, she has some convenient skills in her archery and survival knowledge, but those matter because her district is starving, she learned through necessity.

Every second of her story, Katniss is fighting for her right to exist, and she only becomes a "chosen one" dragged around by the powers that be when she becomes marketable to the grand scheming of the actual revolutionaries, when, before, she didn't care about politics, she just wanted to save her sister. She matters because she chose compassion in a world where survival demands only serving yourself.

—

It’s so, so easy to start planning your book and make your cool fantasy world and figure out how your protagonist fits into it. So easy to say “well they’re the long-lost princess and the only heir to the throne” or “this magic amulet from her great great aunt is the key to saving the world” or “she’s the villain’s secret love child and the only one who can stop him because blood magic” or “this vague prophecy picked this little desert slave boy to bring balance to the Force”.

None of these stories are at fault for writing chosen ones.

But push yourself to let go of that crutch and come up with other reasons for why your hero is the hero. Usually this character has been isekai'd into magical-fantasy-land or magical-hidden-fantasy-urban-underbelly and you can still write that character.

Refusing to make them the chosen one demands one thing first and foremost: How is this outsider going to fight for their place to exist here? What do they bring to the table with their hobbies or interests or unique skillset that happens to be mighty applicable and useful in this new world? What is it about their personality that draws these strangers in? What do they want from this new world, and what are they willing to do to get it?

This choice demands you give your hero agency (though whether you give into those demands is up to you).

More importantly: I think it gives your audience agency, as they still live vicariously through their hero. Sure, lots of kids have lost their parents and live in horrid conditions like a cupboard under the stairs, but none of us will ever be “chosen” by omniscient wizard prophets. Harry would have immediately been a more compelling protagonist to me if he’d stumbled upon magical shenaniganry and fought for his place as some forgotten nobody mudblood.

Harry would have shown us his courage, instead of the story insisting he has it, we promise, just don’t think too hard about it.

Stop giving me characters who accept their destiny because God said so. Give me characters who fight tooth and nail for a destiny they discover on their own and I’ll root for them to succeed even more than someone compelled by force. Not everyone can be a chosen one, but everyone *can* choose themselves and decide to act.

—

With that said, I have an announcement! I have a new book in the works bereft of a prophecy-ordained hero. It’s time I put all my sagely writing wisdom to the test in a shiny published paperback myself. If you’ve learned anything from my blog in your writing journey, please subscribe for updates on the upcoming novel!

[squishi-bunni]

Could you possibly write some hcs for sean diaz with a s/o that's very into fashion design and sewing? I like the idea of someone sketching designs with him in mind and surprising him with a jacket or something :3

Ofc! This sounds super fun and cute :3

-You and Sean would spend days sketching together. You would sketch patterns or concepts for garments and Sean would draw the landscape around him, characters he’s made up on a whim, or you

Let’s be real, this man is a cheeseball and will have sketches of you littering every piece of paper he can get his hands on

But I digress!

-Even though Sean can be very guarded about his sketchbook, he will most definitely be sneaking a peak at yours

And by sneaking a peak I mean leaning over, nose in your face, not discreet at all, looking at your drawings

You push him away and smile. “Your big ass nose is blocking my view!”

He’d pout afterward. “Wow, rude.”

You’d just stick your tongue out at him

-He always thought your designs were cool

-Sometimes when you’re not looking, he’d take your unattended sketchbook and flip through the pages

-He’d be so enamored with your designs

Even if a design isn’t within his personal style, he still loves it

But, when something is his taste, he wishes so desperately that maybe, just maybe, you’d make it for him

-Sometimes you’d sketch specifically designed fabrics or materials you needed but couldn’t find for a project, so Sean would take pictures of the page you drew them on

-For your birthday, Sean would surprise you with the exact fabric you needed

“How did you—did you snoop in my sketchbook?”

He looks do the ground, but there’s not an ounce of guilt in his smile. “Maybeee”

“You’d get so mad if I ever did that you, but” you kiss his cheek “Thank you, you’re sweet

He’d be blushing and all giddy after that

But obviously, in all his teenage boy glory, he’d try to play it cool,

And fail miserably

-In return, you designed and made a jacket for him.

-You’d noticed that he was super into the grunge and skater styles, so you wanted to make him a zip-up hoodie 

-You made it a baggier fit, since that’s in style, and the fabric was black. You made the cuffs and zipper-lining orange and the hem and hoodie trim blue (copying the colors from his well-loved “Squad” hoodie). You also added white hoodie strings

-You also embroidered a huge wolf on the right arm

-When you gave the gift to him on his birthday, his jaw was on the floor

“Woah! Y/n! This is so cool… and did you design the wolf by hand? Wow…”

You just smile.

He hugs you. “Thank you so much! This is so cool…”

He immediately puts it on and drags you with him to the skatepark

“Look at what Y/N just made me!” he shouts at his friends

You blush, but you feel a sense of pride that he’s so happy with something you made

-Sean starts wearing your jacket every day instead of his hoodie, but now you get his formerly favorite hoodie, so it’s a win-win.

Sorry that this request took so long! You probably forgot that you even submitted this lol. Still, I hope you enjoyed <3

[jienem]

Falling through his realm

Hi everyone! Thank you for reading this story. This was like my story Falling down to the Queen's roses. This was not a part 2 rather a similar to that concept. Keep in mind that you a reader is a half-fae like sebek. Thank you once again for reading this story. I really appreciate it very much.

Sypnosis: In which you got sent into another world where Maleficent or known as Malleus rule over the faeries.

How does one understand magic?" You wondered. You sat down under the protection of tall trees, away from the sun's gaze. You opted to spend your time at the library, but with exams coming around, the chairs would be quite full at a moment. Instead, you chose a spot on the botanical garden away from the students sight.

Despite being a magic-user, you still couldn't grasp the abilities of your magic. You were neither bad nor good at magic, but as you used it as a tool, you were slowly doubting if it was worth the effort.

"Does magic bring peace?" You mumbled once more, turning the pages onto another as you tried to read. Try as you might, you kept rereading the lines many times before giving up on your attempt. Instead, you gazed up high; the green leaves covered the bluish sky, yet you didn't mind the view. You closed your eyes and breathed in the fresh air, letting your head fall backward and hitting the wooden tree lightly. The leaves sway back and forth, lulling you to sleep. You were exhausted; helping your dorm for the upcoming school festival, having to use your magic for a long run, and staying up late just so you could finish your schoolwork was no easy feat.

Even as you slept, you picked up a crunch sound heading your way. Your response was to simply continue sleeping, hoping just a little they could leave. Yet they didn't. Slowly and surely, their foot made their way until they are an arm's distance from you.

"Tch, a herbivore from diasomnia is in my way, he growled. You fluttered your eyes and glanced at his figure, noticing his irritation. It seems you were at one of his hideouts. His silence continued once more, and his patience is wearing thin. You nod your head in greeting before plastering a smile on your face.

"Housewarden Kingscholar, can I help you?"

"Crawling away from my spot will help."

You sighed. "Is that so? Well, then, if you excuse me, you said, closing the book and standing up from the ground. His expression stayed emotionless, yet you didn't miss the way his eye twitched at your movement.

"What's wrong? A cat bit your tongue?" He taunted.

"None at all." You checked your belongings once more and tilted your head to look at him. You plastered a smile once more without any fight. He opened his mouth but closed it; he mumbled something under his breath and turned his back on you. You frowned in confusion before shrugging and leaving the garden. You passed by some familiar students and greet them, you hold some small conversation with Ruggie Bucchi alerting him where Housewarden Leona was and stride your way towards the mirror.

"Y/N, are you already heading back?"

"Vice housewarden Lilia. Yes, was the dorm still under preparation?" You paused in your tracks and greeted. Lilia's deep red eyes held joy; his lips curled up a smile and he nodded.

"Indeed, but it was almost done. It was fun designing the main area, did it not?" He put the back of his hand to his chin and closed his eyes, chuckling.

You shared his joyous expression and agreed. For once, the dorm was filled with more noise than before. It was usually quiet every time you came back, yet you didn't mind the change. For a while, the two of you stood there talking until you noticed the clock nearby.

"I should get back soon; I wouldn't hold you back from your duty, Vice-Housewarden Lilia."

He chuckled lightly and patted your shoulder. "Ow, don't be so formal, Y/N,

We are both in our third years. Call me Lilia."

"Ah, well then, Lilia-san. I wished you the best of luck." You fumbled your words at the sudden request before smiling.

"You as well. Stay safe, Y/N."

He returned your words and left you on your record. You turn around and

Head your way towards the mirror and step in.

But something is wrong.

.

Your magic.

.

.

Is bursting with mana engulfing your whole body.

.

.

It hurts so much.You could feel your magic slipping by. Your vision was distorted as you fell down in pain. Whimpering in pain, you tried to use your pen whispering some magic spells but to no avail. Even the world around you seems to be shaking. Your body couldn't handle anymore and blacked out in an instant.

When you woke up, your head was aching. 'Where was I? ' You rubbed your temple to ease the pain. At the very least, you still wear the uniform, and your magic pen is by your side. But you feel empty. The magic running through your course was nonexistent, as if it weren't there at all. Your heart thumps against your chest as you breathe.

You lost your magic.

No, it must be something. After all, you were exhausted.

You reasoned. You calm your nerves and focus on the bright side.

Yet... Why do you feel as if it won't come back?

A half-fae turn human now.

No, don't even think about it. You comfort yourself more before turning around and looking at the surroundings. The sun was replaced by the moon shining on the ground, and you wondered how many hours had passed. You note how everything differs from NRC's. The air was much colder than diasomnia, and the area wasn't supposed to be wide. There shouldn't be a castle in the distance or thorn walls creeping from the side. You concluded you were neither in Diasomnia nor at NRC.

Where are you?

You didn't have time to grasp everything when strange soldiers headed your way. Your eyes widened, and you turned to run. You couldn't believe your luck; what made them want to capture you?

"A human! Quick capture her!" one of the soldiers ordered, earning them to yell in agreement.

"Wait, I-" Huffing, you maneuvered your way, dodging their attacks, and almost fell down when they released a rock mere meters away. You tried to use your magic, but it was still useless. Your attention was on your pen, and failed to noticed a newcomer in front, you bumped into them and fell to the ground.

"What a surprise, human. You boldly went your way here despite the dangers lurking around."

Lilia?

"Lilia-"

Your vision was suddenly covered with a cloth, and your heart pounded as you heard the swishing sounds of bats swarming around you, carrying you in the air. You squeaked and tried to swat them away, but they held on enough that it could have hurt had it not been for the long sleeve of your uniform.

"I wouldn't try that if I were you." His amused voice filled your ears, and you couldn't help but compare them earlier; his tone was much colder than before.

"Lilia-san, what is going on? Why aren't we back at NRC? Could you please-"

"Stop asking questions. And its Vanrouge. Once we reach the king, you could give your statement to him." he sneered.

You shut your mouth when you notice a shift in the air. His tone was much colder than before. With that they continued. You relied on your ears, but the only sound you ever heard was multiple footsteps. Yet you could feel magic surging around you. You tried your magic once more, but it was the same as before. Nothing. For a while, they cackled and chat around. You couldn't hear Lilia at all. You dreaded everytime they stop from their tracks. Your nerves gets the better of you as you thout about the king.

Would he be lenient?

Without warning, the cloth on your eyes was suddenly pulled down. You blink your eyes adjusting them before meeting the gaze of the one sitting on a throne. He was already staring at you.

"My king, we have brought a human near the wall." Lilia lowered herself towards the ground, his head tilting downward as he greeted his king. You gasp as you took in the figure. His green-slitted eyes, his cool-black hair was longer than before, and instead of a school uniform, he wore a robe covering most of his body and a bit of the ground. He still had his horns, but what shakes you the most is his stare. It was much scarier than usual.

He looks at you as if your words may fail you or approve your worth under his command.

And you know he will.

Taking a deep breath, you whispered your blessings to the seven. And slowly speak with the king.

"Your Majesty-"

And its done! Stay tune for more~

Taglist

@worldussysblog @daruderuyoo @growingupnrealizing @fluffle-bean @luciel1 @lucid-stories @ykiqlvr @savanaclaw1996 @hachiko-ko

[touyafootfetish]

Baby, My Baby

summary: this time, endeavor goes to sekoto peak

warnings: angst? maybe?

a/n: do you know those dreams where you have a baby and you’re living the life of your dreams but then you wake up with the most empty, gut-wrenching feeling ever? that’s my inspiration for this 😛

Enji didn’t believe in luck. He believed that everything had to be worked for, and that manifesting something with no effort put behind it was a foolish concept. Wishing upon a star was a thing for fairytales and fiction.

Or maybe he just didn’t think of himself as lucky. In no lifetime would he ever consider himself to be a lucky person. He’d made far too many mistakes to even ponder the probability of it.

As soon as he was released from the hospital, he held a press conference with Hawks and Best Jeanist where he faced heavy criticism when addressing Dabi indeed being his first-born child. Afterwards, he returned to his agency where he was right now.

Sitting at his desk with his head heavy in his hands. He’s beyond exhausted, but he has to shoulder it. The weight of his actions washing over him like a tidal wave. He managed to hold out during the conference, but he was facing a whole sea of emotions he wasn’t sure how to handle. He didn’t know where to start.

Well… he could start with the odd feeling that’s been bothering him ever since he sat down.

Something was… off. He couldn’t quite place it, but something felt different. Something was different. It seemed that even the weather had changed in the few minutes since his return. The sky that was once a horribly bright blue was gray and clouded. He didn’t think much of it. Of course, weather changing wasn’t anything out of the ordinary. It happened all the time. And after all, spring often brought rainstorms and such.

Well, whether it rained or not wasn’t important. Lifting his head from his hands, Enji let out a heavy sigh, eyes glancing over his desk. No doubt calls of villain attacks would soon flood the agency. He’d probably be out on the street again— possibly in a matter of minutes. He didn’t even want to think about it. All he could think about was his family. About Dabi… no, Touya.

Was his son truly alive? He couldn’t bear the thought. All this time, he’d been alive— watching him. He knew that everything was his fault. And he knew that he’d spend the rest of his live trying to atone for his sinful acts against his family. He wouldn’t even ask for forgiveness, because he knew it wasn’t something he deserved and he was fine with that. He wouldn’t even dream of asking that of his family. Of his wife and children.

The only thing that mattered was putting a stop to the villains and serving the people he’d sworn to protect when he decided to become a hero. Then and only then would he be content, knowing that he did all he could until the very end.

“What in the world… it’s spring, why on earth is this—” The hero cut himself short when he took a closer look at the small calendar in front of him. October, the days only marked to the fifteenth. Brows furrowed, he focused his eyes to make sure he wasn’t just seeing things. The year. What year was it? His eyes darted to the corner of the page where the year was boldly printed. Suddenly, it felt like the whole world was spinning on its head.

Fall. It was fall, however, eleven years ago. Eleven years. Enji’s eyes widened and a look of panic took over his features. This couldn’t be right… could it? He wasn’t supposed to be here. This day, it was a scar. A painful reminder that he hated to remember.

A cold, windy day. The air was dry.

He didn’t have to be outside to know that, simply because he’d been here before. It was a particularly hard day at work, and he’d come home later than usual. Only to find out that his eldest son had been consumed in a raging fire at Sekoto Peak. He remembered it clear as day. He wasn’t even supposed to work that day, yet he came here anyway.

Touya had asked him to meet him at the spot where they trained together. And Enji, he left for work thinking it was for the better, and that he wouldn’t be feeding the fire he lit under his child. Ever since that day, he’d tortured himself by knowing that Touya would’ve still been there if he’d only given up work to see him. He didn’t know why he was still sitting here.

He shot straight up from his desk and almost sprinting out of his office. Was this some kind of joke? It couldn’t have been. One look at his agency told him all he needed to know. He’d had a lot of maintenance and interior work done over the years so that’s how he knew it was true. He paid no mind to his sidekicks as he ran out of the office. He pulled his phone from the pocket of his coat and messaged his driver. He had to get home.

As he frantically paced in front of his building, he prayed to every kami above that this time— this time he wouldn’t be late. That this time he would be there. He wouldn’t yell, he wouldn’t shout, he wouldn’t raise his hands to his child. Never again. Not if it meant he had the chance to make things right. Not if it meant seeing his son again.

Losing himself in his thoughts, he’d unintentionally tuned out his surroundings and didn’t notice the blaring horn of his drivers car pulling up. The window was rolled down, revealing his driver’s usual expression of irritation. “Take me to Sekoto Peak.” Enji demanded. Barely in the car, he stared down his driver. “Now! Step on it, damn it!” he raised his voice, giving in to his impatience.

“Yes, Endeavor sir!”

He was never one to be antsy or nervous. Yet here he was, bouncing his knee and biting his nails. A cold sweat trickled down the back of his neck, hairs standing on end. Once he found Touya, the first thing he would do is apologize. Then he’d watch him. He would watch him and listen to everything he had to say. Touya always got so excited when he talked about his training. His voice would get high and bubbly as he rambled on about learning new moves. He wouldn’t interrupt or brush him off. He’d be patient like he should’ve been the first time.

Then he’d take Touya home. He would take a week— no, more than that away from work and spend time at home. He’d spend time with his family. He’d let Shouto play with his siblings, and he wouldn’t train him so hard, or at all. Yeah. He’d stop pushing such unrealistic expectations onto his children. He’d bring his wife back home and talk to her. To discuss options for their future, and if she wanted out then so be it. He wouldn’t fight and argue. He’d let her go and take the children if that’s what she wanted.

It would still be a better future than the one he’d been living in. He wouldn’t let his greed and unhealthy jealousy get in the way of what was important.

Enji cursed his agency for being so far from home as the minutes ticked by— painfully slow, might he add. The sky was clearing up, and the sky was orange bleeding into a deep and starry lilac. It was just about five pm. Every minute closer to the dinner Touya never made it home to. He ran a hand through his hair and tried to ease his mind by looking out the window, taking deep breaths to calm his panicked breathing. What if it was already too late? What if his son was already charred down to ash?

He could feel his heart practically leaping out of his chest when the roads started looking familiar. He could see it from here. Sekoto Peak. No more that a few kilometers. He could get there on his own right now. He was fast, he could ensure he’d be there on time. Ripping off his seatbelt was enough for his driver to hit the brakes. He started chewing him out for being so reckless and for being in such a hurry, but his complaints fell on deaf ears as Enji opened the car door and sped off. He could pay for the damage later. But if he didn’t rush now, the damage then would be much more than money could ever pay.

“Damn it, hurry.” he muttered to himself, dashing up the trail he was so familiar with.

He remembered the first time he took Touya up here. Though at the time, the boy was much more interested in unique stones and two squirrels tussling in the leaves, probably fighting over acorns. He’d give anything to have walks like that again. It didn’t have to be here, it didn’t have to be now. But he wanted it so badly. He wanted it more than anything. And maybe one day Shouto would join them on the mountain.

The other children, Natsuo and Fuyumi. Even if they didn’t want to train, he wanted to take them here. And if they wanted to be heroes one day, he would gladly be their teacher.

“Touya… please be…” he couldn’t even think right now. He couldn’t remember a time he felt this lightheaded and dizzy. He could tell he was getting closer, it only pushed him to run faster. He’d run until he lungs collapsed. Even then, he would get back up and keep running. This was a moment that’d have to be pried from his cold, dead hands. He took a left and entered a clearing by the lake. He caught his breath as he looked around.

The first thing he noticed wasn’t the fact that none of the dummies had been used, but the sound of quiet sobs and sniffles. He took slow, staggered steps into the clearing, whipping his head in every direction. A hard lump formed in his throat and his mouth became incredibly dry. He couldn’t bring himself to call out Touya’s name if he wanted to. He only followed the sounds of his muffled cries until they started getting louder. It was only getting darker, they both should’ve been home right now. 

“Suck it up. Don’t be a baby…” That voice. The voice that always called for him so happily. That light, bubbly voice that the hero missed so dearly. “Don’t cry,” Enji approached the lake, and there he saw Touya, hunched over as he sat on a rock. He was violently rubbing his eyes, leaving them red and irritated as he tried desperately to hold back his tears.

“Touya…” Enji said, voice barely above a whisper. His body moved before he could think, and he found himself jogging towards the boy, hot tears welling in his own eyes. “Touya! Touya, oh, Touya,” he said, trying not to fall to his knees. He could stop the tears now rolling down his face, eyes not daring to close as he trapped his son in a tight embrace.

“Dad? You… you went to work. How– H– How are you here?” His words came out as strained hiccups. He didn’t hug his father back, but Enji wouldn’t let go. He couldn’t bring himself to do it. With a hand holding the back of Touya’s head, he held him close and muttered out an endless stream of apologies. “...Dad?”

“You’re okay. I’m here now. Touya, I— I’m here.” Enji said as though he was talking to himself. He quickly pulled back so he could see his son’s face. Hands planted firmly on his shoulders, he took in the sight he only got to see through a framed photo at the shrine in his home. The face of a boy taken from him far too soon. They were here. He was here. Touya, not Dabi. His first-born son.

His baby.

“Uh— right! I–I asked you to come here,” Touya reminded himself as if he’d forgotten in the first place. He pulled away from his dad and put a bit of distance between them despite the man’s tears. “See? See?” he asked, holding out his fist as a bright blue flame engulfed his hand. “I’m awesome too, right? An–And I learned it all on my own—” He stopped himself upon noticing his father’s solemn expression. “I mean… I can still do better! I don’t want to burn the forest down or anything so I have to keep it low, but I’m sure if I—”

“Touya.” Enji said, cutting him off. His voice was shaky, and the tears which rolled down his cheeks had begun to dry. “I’m proud of you, son. I’m so very proud of you.” He watched Touya’s excited expression shift through clouded vision. “I know that I’ve failed you. Not just as a hero… but as your father. And I’m sorry, I’m so sorry.” he apologized again. “If you truly want to be a hero, I promise I’ll support you with everything I have. But you have to choose that for yourself.”

Touya lowered his arms, relaxing his stance as he stared in confusion. He’d never seen his dad like this before. He felt tears prick at the corners of his eyes again, and he didn’t know what to say. Did this mean his father would start training with him again? Would they practice every day like they used to? Would he watch him grow into a hero?

There were so many things Enji wanted to say right now, but he held his tongue. He didn’t want to stress Touya by unloading years of unresolved feelings onto him all in one night. Baby steps, one at a time. Right now, he just wanted to bring Touya back home where he knew he’d be safe. He’d make things right this time. This was only the first thing on a list of millions.

“We’ll train tomorrow, right?” Touya asked, holding onto the sleeve of his father’s coat. Enji nodded reassuringly, and Touya smiled. “Hey, dad! Can we have soba for dinner? I know it’s late but I really want so–”

“We can have soba, don’t worry about the time. You can stay up late tonight.” Enji interrupted, just wanting to enjoy this time with his son. He just wanted to see him happy again. “Maybe you and your siblings can have a movie night, and in the morning we’ll go see your mother.”

He wanted his son back.

“Really? We’re gonna go see mom? Is she coming home? I… I need to apologize to her. And to Shouto. Do you think she’ll want to see me, dad?”

He wanted Touya back.

“Of course she’ll want to see you. She loves you very much, Touya. We both do.”

…

It was quiet. A little too quiet, and it made the others worry. He hadn’t come out of his office since he came back from his press conference. That’s when Burnin and Kido gave up on knocking and barged in expecting to see their boss engrossed in more work. But… that’s not what they walked in on. Instead, the found Endeavor passed out at his desk, fast asleep, it seemed.

“Huh…” Kido muttered. “No wonder the agency’s so quiet. The bear went into hibernation.” he joked. Burnin nudged him with her elbow. “Hey, what was that for?”

“He’s had a long day. Plus, he just got discharged from the hospital.” Burnin said, voice uncharacteristically quiet. “He’s probably really fatigued, we should leave him alone… for now, at least. He’ll wake up soon. Come on, let’s get outta here before we lose our jobs,” she sighed.

She didn’t mention anything to Kido when they left the room, but she was sure he noticed it too. It was hard to miss the tears stains marking the hero’s face as he mumbled incoherent words in his sleep.

Enji Todoroki didn’t believe in luck.

It was completely unrealistic. Something straight out of a fairytale. But in this moment, holding Touya’s hand again as they walked down the mountain they so often trained on?

He felt like one lucky bastard.

WC: 2.7k (not proofread)

a/n: HA! ‘Twas nothing but a dream. I’m just too much of a bitch to write him waking up so I opted for another option :p ALSO let’s ignore my godawful pacing please and ty

[therealvinelle]

What are your thoughts on the titanic movie?

Oh I wanted to watch it, tried once as a child, didn't make it through, then again with @theoriginalcarnivorousmuffin, at which point I also didn't make it through.

I'm here for the ship, literally only the ship. Rose and Jack would not get off the screen and let me look at ship, and so even though I made it to the part where they impact the iceberg, I realized I couldn't sit through Jack and Rose running around the decks, no matter how true to life the models were. Watch party ended, and some time later we tried Raise the Titanic with Alec Guinness instead (a deeply silly movie where a dangerous weapon was on board the Titanic when it sank, and the Americans must find it before the Soviets do).

James Cameron's movies have a very consistent problem where he is in love with a concept, or an idea or a new bit of technology, so he makes a movie to show it off and has to put a story in there somewhere so we're watching something happened. This worked incredibly well in the two first Terminator movies, it gave us a deeply funny Aliens movie, but it did not work out for Titanic as his worst tendencies all came out to play.

I like him, as a director, I just don't like the majority of his movies, if that makes sense.

His characters are plainly good or bad with one note motivations and no nuance, and they are all consistently and painfully American, to the point where they feel like caricatures. Jake Sullivan, who is such a staple army vet that he has no personality whatsoever other than being a protagonist with the assigned traits that would make him sympathetic to as wide an audience as possible, is a terrific example of this, as are the gun-toting military crew heading to the colony in Aliens, but so too are the characters of the Titanic, only in a different way. Rose's mother and peers are what I can only describe as Victoria's parents in Corpse Bride without the satire - they are not real people, but old world aristocrats seen through the eyes of filmmakers who fundamentally don't understand class. Rose becoming infatuated with a working class boy is a very simple and straightforward matter where there is no actual reason for them not to be together, it's just that Jack gets made fun of for not knowing the right forks to use. It's just shallow.

I have more complaints, but much of the movie is luckily forgotten so I'll stick to the big one: I wish Cameron had either made this a purely fictional story that was inspired by the Titanic but without actual victims, or else gone out of his way to be respectful of the fact. Going of the wikipedia page for how historical characters were treated, Bruce Ismay being depicted as boorish and attributed decisions he never made in life so he can be at least partly blamed for the sinking. The man's life and mental health was ruined after the real sinking as the act of surviving made him a media target, Cameron could have chosen to leave his memory be and I side-eye his decision not to. The movie has First Officer Murdoch shooting passengers and then himself, I struggle to see what this added to the movie besides upsetting his surviving family.

Perhaps I'm overly strict, but even fictionalized retellings have historical import because they play a much larger role in how people remember the past than history books or documentaries do because more people see them. The film industry has immense power over how we view the past, and in turn over how history is remembered. This comes with a responsibility, and a plea for consciousness of the fact. Set your stories to whichever periods and cultures you may like: but do so knowing that no matter how much media and recorded history already exists on your chosen subject, there will be people walking away from your product whose view is now affected by your depiction.

In other words, Raise the Titanic is somehow more respectul in my eyes because while it was a very silly movie, it insulted no one's memory. And I'll be sticking to documentaries and animations when it comes to RMS Titanic-related media.

[la-pheacienne]

There is something that has always rubbed the wrong way about the terms of the hotd/fire and blood discourse and particularly how political it always is. Misogyny accusations are super popular and they are being thrown by both sides because they are faster, they are catchy and it's a lot easier to do that than sit down and talk about themes, narrative and consistency under a neutral light. The problem is they often get in the way of a more in depth analysis of media and I say that to myself first and foremost because I do it too. When I say misogyny accusations, I am not only talking about literal accusations (aka if you support team green/black you are a misogynist), I also include all the takes that resemble the following: "my take is better/more accurate than yours because it is more politically progressive/radical/revolutionary/healthy/enlightened/yadayada than yours". Both sides use this, and they use this A LOT. It is almost impossible to take part in discourse over fire and blood/hotd/asoiaf without including this perspective. I'm not saying we should abolish this perspective and never talk about it again, it is always interesting to take this into account. But let's pause for a second and just try to put this on the side just for a little bit. What are we left with? Oh yeah. We are left with the raw materials of the story. Let's talk about that, and only that, just for a little while.

Yes, fire and blood includes a dichotomy between a good woman and a bad woman (although it doesn't exactly do that and this is a very simplistic way of looking at the story). Yes this dichotomy is an old concept. Yes the wicked stepmother is an old concept as well, rooted in ancient patriarcal societal norms and dynamics we are all more or less familiar with, some less than others.

Is this dynamic, which is at the core of fire and blood, politically progressive/radical/subversive? Probably not (huge objection there but I said I will not talk about politics in this post).

Is it a better story than hotd? Yes. It is.

Does it make more sense than hotd? Yes. It does.

I am sorry. There is absolutely no way hotd has more sense than fire and blood. Even if one qualifies it as a more inspired, progressive, unexpected, intresting retelling/revisiting of the original, this will never, ever make it a good story in an organic way.

There is absolutely no way to seriously, unironically argue that going from "we play an ugly game. i see you have the determination to win it" to Alicent usurping Rhaenyra because of a misunderstanding in the span of one episode is a better narrative and makes more sense than whatever happened in fire and blood. It makes Alicent a victim of circumstances, it breaks the dichotomy or the wicked stepmother trope or whatever you want it to break, and all that is cool, but it doesn't make a better story than the one we got in fire and blood.

There is absolutely no way to seriously claim that Alicent being sexually harassed by her servant makes a better story than her controlling her servant. It is not something that would actually happen in real life under any circumstances whatsoever. It is extremely forced, weird and overall nonsensical (not to mention politically problematic for 100 reasons because again, I will not talk politics in this post). The average viewer that does not wish to write essays about how politically enlightened it is to "break the dichotomy" will look at this scene and say "what the fuck is that". Would showing Alicent owning her role as QUEEN and playing the game be reminiscent of Cersei and thus "repetitive"? Yes. Would it make a better story? Yes. I'm sorry, but it is the truth.

There is absolutely no fucking way to make the page scene make sense. It will never make sense. A ruler that has just been usurped has the chance to execute the traitor and doesn't do it because the traitor shows her a page of a book. Right. She has just lost her baby because of them, she has lost her father, she has lost her throne, she has lost everything that was important to the life she has been sharing for ages with a man and their 20 children but a page would matter to her more than all of these things put together. Right. You can call this an uber sophisticated/inspired lesbian drama/women being caught in the crossfire of men's wars or whatever you want it to call it but it will never, ever be a better moment than "Tell my half-brother I'll have my throne or I'll have his head". It will never be a better story, not because it is more or less politically conservative/progessive, but for the simple reason that it is nonsensical. Whether a story makes sense or not has absolutely nothing to do with ideology. This particular moment does not resonate with basic human experience, it does not resonate with how female rulers behaved in history. It is bad, very bad writing. Daemon's "the fuck is this" is the only logical reaction to this and it is the reaction shared by the average viewer. Indeed, the fuck is this.

Thing is, you might wanna twist the raw materials of a story you consider boring/conservative/repetitive but that will never make for a better story, because there is no truth in it. """Wicked stepmothers""" existed and still exist. Good women vs bad women exist because good people vs bad people exist and women are people. Their honest confrontation rings true to the viewer in a way hotd's narrative never will. Because it makes sense. It is organic. It has a truth hotd doesn't have. And again I use this supposed dichotomy of fire and blood with a huge asterisk because Rhaenyra is not that pure perfect unfallible character. Alicent being Alicent would perhaps be a repetitive Cersei copy but she would still make a better character than whatever we got. She would perhaps have less importance in the narrative but it's okay because the story doesn't need Alicent to have that much of an importance. It is a good story regardless.

You can preach about how inspired/progressive it is to have women be forcefully carried in the middle of a men's war that they never wanted but that will never make it a better story than a Targaryen woman fighting with her half-brothers for her throne, her life and the life of her children and her husband she has spent a lifetime with.

I got this from David Mamet, On directing film, p. 60 and I think it applies well.

[bangpop91]

20 Questions for Fic Writers

I was tagged by the wonderful and fabulously talented @cliophilyra

1. How many fics on AO3?

57

2. What's your total AO3 word count?

357,820

3. What fandoms do you write for?

Currently it's predominantly 9-1-1, but I also write for 9-1-1 Lone Star, and used to write for Roswell New Mexico.

4. What are your top 5 fics by Kudos?

Sipping Him Like Whiskey

For this Child I Have Prayed

A Contractual Kiss

Growing Pains

Stay With Me

5. Do you respond to comments?

Yes. I don't my best to

6. What is the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending?

I generally as a rule of thumb make sure my angst riddled stories end on a happy or at least hopeful note.

But my WIP Carry On My Wayward Son, which should be completed some time this week will be my angstiest ending

7. What is the fic you wrote with the happiest ending?

Ohhhhh. That is a hard one. Really that would probably be every story in the Bedtime Stories Series

8. Do you get hate on fics?

Once on a rare pair fic. I deleted the hate and went on my merry way. It was properly tagged so there was no point arguing with someone who was mad I wrote this Flint/Kyle story.

9. Do you write Smut?

Absolutely! I write all kinds. Soft and sweet, emotional, humorous, kinky.

10. Do you write crossovers?

Technically? I have written 911 and 911 lone star into most of my stories even if it is just Easter eggs of the other show.

Otherwise, I'm open to it just haven't found the right inspiration to yet.

11. Have you ever had a fic stolen?

Not to the best of my knowledge. I'm not where near that popular of a fan fic author for anyone to steal my stories.

12. Have you ever had a fic translated.

I have not! I'd be extremely honored though if anyone ever wanted to translated my work though.

13. Have you ever cowritten a fic before?

@girlwonder-writes and I have something in the works! I am very excited about it!

14. What's your all-time favorite ship?

This is like asking which of my children are my favorite 😂. My original ship from way back when I was just starting to make my way into fandom was Gemma Doyle/Felicity Worthington from The Gemma Doyle Trilogy. But I also have fallen in love with a great many other ships over the years. These days, Malex, Lizobel, and Flint/Kyle from Roswell New Mexico still hold a special place in my heart. Then there is Luc and Oliver of the London Calling Series, Henry and Alex from Red, White, and Royal Blue, and Joe and Nicki from the Old Gaurd.

And I refuse to pick a favorite 9-1-1 universe ship. I love them all.

15. What's the WIP you want to finish but doubt you ever will?

It's my tarlos/Campbell(tarlossoup) fic I started but have been struggling to write. I still have hope but it won't be for anything hot minute if I do.

16. What are your writing strengths?

Oh man. I want to say it's coming up with interesting concepts. I don't know if I am always the best as executing them. And I am notoriously hard on myself and my own writing. So. I dunno send praise I guess 😂 feed your local artists and writers with compliments.

17. What are your writing weaknesses?

Spelling, grammar, executing my ideas without getting lost in unnecessary details, sometimes putting the things in my head onto the page in the way I want in a satisfying way.

18. Thoughts on writing dialogue in another language in fic?

I LOVE IT! I am in awe of people who can do it and do it well. I wish I was better with language as so I could do it properly. I don't my best to include it where I can but I get self conscious about it

19. First fandom you wrote for?

Oh man way way back in the day I wrote Harry potter fan fiction on Fanfiction.net.

20. Favorite fic you wrote?

Again with asking me to choose a favorite child 😂.

Paul Strickland and the Case of the missing Lion

Madam Vega and the Sensational Six

I Wasn't Looking for You

Every story in the Calypso universe

Just a Kid From Roswell

Lancing the Wound

A Soft Glow

No pressure tags for @marvelousbuckley @girlwonder-writes @nine-one-wanton @racerchix21 @rdng1230

And @dr-lizortecho @winged-fool @thepinkcrayon @thecarrott @dadbodbuck

And @30somethingautisticteacher @judymarch15 @herrmannhalsteadproduction @missmeryl92

[vikenticomeshome]

Cyberchase Meal Toys (1/?)

My quest to dig up remnants of old Cyberchase merch brought me to a weird place. I've already made posts about the largest Cyberchase merch producer, Flying Minds. Unfortunately, most of their site was poorly archived, so very few products could be identified. However, there was a smaller venture in the form of kids' meal toys. These weren't McDonalds toys, Burger King toys, or Wendy's toys. No, the Cyberchase toys were available through Carl's Jr. and Hardees around 2003. The cool thing about these two groups is that their websites had archives showing their past promotions. They started with a "Cow and Chicken" promotion back in February of 2000...

...and they finished with a "Scribblenauts Unlimited" promotion in December of 2012.

They had plenty of stuff in between. There were even some things I had never heard of, such as "Phantom Investigators", which only lasted 13 episodes. These may well be the only toys ever released for that show.

Yeah, I found the site really interesting, even though I don't think I have ever eaten at a Carl Jr's or a Hardee's.

https://web.archive.org/web/20170923092943/http://www.hardeescoolkids.com/promotions.asp#

But anyway, you came here for Cyberchase stuff. If you scroll through that whole list of promotions, you won't find Cyberchase mentioned. However, they did have a page discussing the Cyberchase toys. Here is the image from that page.

So, this is a bit bizarre. Apparently, these were backup toys for when the proper promotional toys were out of stock. They never got a proper promotion of their own. Maybe that's why they are basically impossible to find these days.

I don't own any of them myself. But let's talk about them based on what we know.

The least mysterious one is "Movin Matt". We get to see him make an official appearance in Cyberchase For Real episode "Bianca's Dogged Pursuit". This was attached to Season 5 Episode 5 "The Fairy Borg Father". The little guy was attached to some sort of spinning crank on the top of a Cyberchase-themed clock.

We even get a close-up of him when Bianca ties a string to him.

He is missing his stand in these shots. When he had his stand, you would put him on a flat surface, pull him back to wind him up, and let him zoom off. Just like a real Matt.

Here he is in a bag with his stand and a bonus activity sheet.

Next up, we have some close-up pictures of the "Delete with a Twist" figure from Worthpoint, which is a catalog of old eBay listings. The different parts of his torso can be twisted around to make different pictures.

Here are a few pictures of the double-sided puzzle.

And here's the best shot I could find for the Digit tape measure.

We know that at least one other Cyberchase toy was released by Flying Minds. We have the Digit plush.

However, the little Matt figurine may be the only figurine every released for the series, unless something truly spectacular is buried in Flying Mind's archives. I wish the meal toy producers would have carried over the "Movin" concept to other characters to give us an entire Movin Cybersquad.

I also would have settled for anything Hacker.

[lousirs]

If you could add scenes or change certain designs to the uglydolls movie what would they be ? (Idk alternate institute design or random filler scenes)

For exemple i wish they insisted more onto the « doll school/training » thing.

Or another exemple, i had this idea where instead of Ox finding out bout Moxy and mandy being in danger with the printer thingy, he would’ve (seeing moxy’s missing) suspected Lou done something/has hurt Moxy and while running in the Pipe to the institute, he hears Moxy and mandy screaming for help (would’ve added a lot if you think bout it)

Gotta save this 65mill$ budget 💪💪🤩🤩

good question and wonderful ideas! i very much agree with the ox finding moxy/mandy scene. he should've been worried that he hadn't seen moxy in a while. sure, she was upset, but she is never so quiet... so he goes to check up on her, only to find an empty room, and panic arises. he tells the other uglydolls, and they go around town calling her name. and then ox reaches the sunflower pipe. realisation sinks in: "lou must've gotten her". and so the uglydolls help each other to get up the pipe, and through the darkness there is a faint red glow and screams for help.... dramatic... but maybe a bit too dark for a kids film, who knows xDDD

anywho, i have a lot of things i would change about the movie tbh, but to name a few: (buckle up everyone cause i got a lot to say)

first and foremost GIVE THE UGLYDOLLS (besides moxy and ox) A PURPOSE. babo, wage, luckybat and uglydog are the main characters technically, and yet they serve no purpose. if you removed them, and only had moxy find the institute, nothing would've changed. my fix? allow them to do what they are good at to win over the prettydolls.

from what is shown, i'm guesisng moxy is a reporter, luckybat is a fortune teller (or something like that), wage is a cook, babo is a builder and uglydog is a DJ. so! have luckybat tell the prettydolls fortunes (reading their palms or something idk), have wage cook them a nice meal, have babo build a cool contraption for them and uglydog host a dance party. and all the while, moxy is writing about the institute, life there, how lou is a big ol' meanie head, etc. this would've fixed so much, because in the film, the prettydolls turned on lou so quickly, so GIVE THEM MORE OF A REASON TO besides "ew prototype" and "he kicked a baby!!!". make the prettydolls warm up to the uglydolls, not due to their appearance, but due to who they are inside and what they enjoy doing. make them think that lou is wrong for being so cruel to them.

speaking of this, moxy writing down everything about the institute (perhaps to put into the uglyville newspaper) could be a point of tension! lou doesn't want his reputation to be smeared, so there could be a scene (i'd say after the training montage where lou is further trying to dissuade moxy) where lou tears up all the pages of her notepad, leaving her feeling devastated, but still determined to carry on despite the odds.

the only other point i have about the uglydolls is their designs. i would've loved to see them more like their original counterparts, cause they feel a bit too cutesy to be truly 'ugly' or whatever in the film. especially the stitches around the eyes, they should've kept that!! more of a handcrafted ragdoll look, i suppose!

for the institute... i feel like this is a hot take, but i like how empty it is. kind of shows how empty and artificial trying to be 'perfect' is. the repetitiveness of the institute also works to show that as well... buuut they could've taken it further. perhaps they could've gone for the more city-like area like they did in concept arts, but have it a lot more organised (too organised), so everything feels disorientating. for instance, the dolls houses are all clunked into a square area, same with the training course, etc.

this concept art, although looking sterile, still feels quite open and lively, like that of a big city. so they could make it feel more suffocating? who knows.

(i get that uglyville is quite clustered and tightly packed too, but that feels more like a comfortable closeness)(so the institute could be an uncomfortable closeness)

one scene they could've added for the prettydolls is the spy girls being hesitant to throw moxy and mandy in recycling. their expressions as moxy is going down the pipe shows fear and regret, and yet this brief, and they go back to being fine afterwards??? i get lou not giving a shit, but c'mon girls, you just helped kill two dolls! kidnapping isn't good either, but recycling innocent dolls is on a whole other level.

even if it was just a small piece of dialogue between the girls and lou, it would've worked... like:

"surely you aren't going to actually recycle them? that's way too far lou!"

or

"we didn't agree to this lou! you just told us to take them to you!"

and lou shuts them up and says how they'll be perfect yada yada idk. and that could be a breaking point for the girls, where they begin to distrust lou, because bro's a maniac.

i've mentioned this in a previous post, but i believe that the novel's version of lou and ox's backstory makes a lot more sense, in how lou stepped on the line ox was passing to make it seem like he failed the gauntlet, and the robots dragging ox to recycling. instead of ox making other dolls fail, and lou being like "imma show you recycling now. cya bub"

similarly, mandy getting the audience to coax lou into running the gauntlet makes more sense than him running the gauntlet on his own accord, fully knowing that he would be exposed. yay, peer pressure!

nit-pick here, but i wish they made nolan more 'imperfect' design-wise. although yeah, his hair and eyes are different colours and his uniform is too small, he has no socks and lost a button and has freckles, it all seems too... polished? like, his freckles are just around the cheeks, and although yeah, people can have exactly that irl, i would've loved if they went harder on it. same with his hair, the green parts are in a neat clump, that still matches the hair model of the doll. so fuck it! have him have messy hair with green strands randomly placed on his head, make his freckles heavier, so they cover his arms and legs etc too, make his uniform have hanging out threads and missing parts, etc etc! alsooo further push him having a long neck, small head, being tall, whatever. cause it's barely noticeable... (which i guess works cause lou picks up on the smallest of things but stillll i want a more 'imperfect' nolan xD)

that's all i can think of for now, and the post is long enough as it is sooo yeah xP

[floral-ashes]

Thought I’d share this review of Gender/Fucking: The Pleasures and Politics of Living in a Gendered Body, posted to Goodreads by a user named Haley:

“Wow, wow, WOW— this is a book that invites you, the reader, not only to learn but also to EXPLORE— it’s a patchwork quilt of memoirs, erotic interludes, and critical analysis, and it’s gripping and devastating at every turn. Florence Ashley, a transfem jurist and bioethicist, is a brilliant writer with a penchant for luscious prose and biting commentary. This collection is equally brilliant, introducing the concept of “academic smut” as a vehicle for telling stories of love, loss, growth, and tragedy against a backdrop of trans identity and intellectualism. As a nonbinary person, I found myself represented in living color on every page; reading this collection left me tear-stained and devastated, and yet immeasurably hopeful at the same time. It’s a storytelling format I could never have predicted enjoying, as I’m rather open about not enjoying erotica as a written genre (with the exception of fanfiction!) due to my own discomfort with first-person-POV sex— however, the erotica here DOES something. It gives a tangible example of the theories and thought-processes that Florence describes in each chapter; it gives the reader an opportunity to imagine sexual dynamics playing out not only in front of them but with them in the driver’s seat, and again— as someone whose queer activities echo some of Florence’s own, it was deeply eye-opening to see myself and my desires on paper that exposes the pleasure, shame, and possibilities that we all partake in.

In particular, I'm drawn to one phrase that Florence concludes with in their "Trespass on the Fox" essay: these are questions without answers. am i open to being loved, to being lovable? maybe. Upon reading that, I had to sit and stare blankly at the wall for a time I can't begin to measure. Not only for the raw questioning of how I exist in regards to love, but for the openness in stating that these words, and all the words in Florence's collection, do not exist to serve as definitive answers of, well, pretty much anything! I've spent the past 18 years of my life entrenched in academia, and the idea that I don't have to always answer "yes" or "no" when asked about my "take" on something isn't necessarily foreign, but it's under-represented in nonfiction works, and it was a breath of fresh air to see it so frankly discussed here.

Though I am hesitant to describe any essay in detail, as I do truly think each entry deserves to be experienced firsthand, I want to conclude my review with an analysis of "Libidinal Vertigo," one of two essays that Florence warns about in their Preface for their potentially-triggering material. It's a deeply unsettling essay for two reasons: one, it discusses famed (or, rather, infamous) TERF (trans-exclusionary radical feminists) scholars like Mary Daly in detail, and their works are ones that have caused me a lot of personal strife as well; two, it explores Florence's (and that of all transfem folx) vulnerability to the very same transphobic rhetoric that most of us wish was contained solely in now-fading academic texts. We (and I use this word here confidently, despite existing not as a transfem person as AFAB and nonbinary) are all deeply susceptible to the internalized transphobia that runs rampant across our social media threads and bathroom-sink conversations. Florence, in protest of Janice Raymond's vitriol, invites us to embrace our monstrosity... echoing a brilliant passage of poetry discussing Frankenstein many pages prior. If they cast us as monsters, without giving us a chance to recite our lines, then perhaps we should acknowledge our hatred— and use it as fuel to empower healing amongst our own.

I cannot put into words how much I recommend this collection; it deserves to be immortalized in the canon of transgender studies, and it also deserves to be passed around amongst friends and highlighted and annotated to no end, the pages themselves becoming a living museum of memory and community. Whether you are trans, cis, or beginning your own journey of self-discovery, this book is a light amongst a sea of uncertainty and darkness, and I highly encourage you to pick up a copy of your own.

Note: I receive a gifted ARC from Clash Books; as always, I was under no obligation to leave a review, and all my thoughts/ramblings are my own <3”

[poisedpen]

✒ Solo RPGs

About a month ago I went down a rabbit hole and came out the other side absolutely obsessed.

A singular post on r/fountainpens notified me to the existence of Solo Journaling RPGs- literally, tabletop experiences that you play by yourself. Some of these games have physical components, but many are played entirely with a pen and a piece of paper.

Needless to say, I was absolutely thrilled at the concept of being able to scratch that TTRPG itch without the social drain, impossible scheduling, AND with the bonus of using up my enormous stores of fountain pen inks. Since the middle of November I have tried three separate Solo RPGs, with one being a longer experience with a physical book with rules and tables...with the other two finished experiences being short, one-to-two page PDF's that can be played out in several hours.

✒ Experiences so far...

During my first attempt I tackled a larger-than-anticipated RPG called Apothecaria. In this game, you are sent a letter by a witch who wishes for you to take her place making potions in the town of High Rannock. You gather reagents, explore, make potions, and develop your reputation and relationships with characters in town. Very Stardew Valley inspired, but with a fun, witchy twist. There is also a cute animal version called Apawthecaria, as well as a few expansions for the main game, which I have yet to look at.

I was excited to start but otherwise clueless about the typical pacing and play of journaling RPGs, and soon found that I was writing way too much information!! My hand got tired, and I put it aside for the time being. I will have to revisit it soon, as it is DISGUSTINGLY cute and fun, but for now I have focused my sights on smaller experiences.

During my second, I played a cute little experience called Last Tea Shop. The game has since released a "full" version with more mechanics, but I found the classic version to be exactly what I was looking for on a lazy saturday night. It took me about 4.5 hours to complete thanks to several distractions, but the playtime was probably closer to 3.

I found this to be a strangely emotional little experience, which probably should have been expected since you are playing as a shopkeep at the edge between life and death. I will admit to shedding a few tears by the end of my journey- but they were happy ones. I will be returning for the full version sometime after I have let the experience settle.

My most recent experience-- as of maybe 30 minutes ago, to be precise-- is a lesser-known RPG called Axe Wielding Priest. This was a wonderful switch up from the cozy games I have tried so far, and as a person who adores a good (but understandably controversial) "sanity" mechanic in a game, it scratched my itch for madness.

There are some warnings in the description for blood, self-harm (flagellation), violence, and paranoia, but I thoroughly enjoyed the 2 hours I spent exploring the mind and history of my character.

✒ Conclusion

I am absolutely obsessed. I'm always itching to come up with stories, but have burned many a role-playing partner by being flaky or losing interest. These offer a few overarching mechanics and rules and otherwise let your mind run free. That sense of loose structure is exactly what I need as someone who struggles with ADHD, but also enjoys coming up with solutions within a set boundary.

There are "old-school" solo RPGs out there, as well as others that aren't just acting as a tool for creative writing. I will be trying some of those out as well as the time comes, as well as the games that use physical maps and movement around a grid.