#a complicated love letter to new york city

[burberrycanary]

Still Left with the River (The Paradox of Motion) by @burberrycanary​

Stucky, Endgame Fix-it

Coming back from as good as dead to a changed world is easier the second time around. But then Steve supposes that, like with most things, you get better with practice. (Sequel to The Same River, Twice.)

—

A post-The Falcon and The Winter Soldier Stucky Endgame fix-it where even if you can’t go home again, you’ve got to go somewhere.

Thanks to my amazing betas @deadalien, @zenaidamacrouras1 and @village-skeptic 💖

—

Read it on AO3

[blysse-and-blunder]

in lieu of a labor day long weekend

11pm, sunday, september 1, 2024

couldn't remember if i've done 'in lieu of a long weekend' before, so i specified. raise your hand if you're spending the day off doing more work than ever, because you're a grad student and/or poor planner!

reading

francis spufford's cahokia jazz (2024) absolutely entranced me this week. i couldn't put it down, stayed up all night (literally) to get through the big confrontation and then stayed up to make sure i knew how things shook out afterwards. i have found two book reviews which seem to agree that there's a lot to 'work through' here, pull-quote below, but this was not my experience-- i was thoroughly hooked by the (to me) subtle and eloquent clues about how this timeline was different from our own, and fascinated by the city politics, religion, infrastructure-- if anything, the focus on public transit struck me more than the exposition! shoutout to the streetcars!--but most importantly, maybe, spufford knew how to write his protagonist's relationship to music, and incorporate joe's jazz into his pov in a beautiful way, a real way. i'm fucking mourning the what-could-have-been of cahokia, of indigenous america, of. god. that vision of a different form of modernity-- not less complicated, not less industrialized, with all its own moral ambiguities and darkness...but nevertheless a living society.

from the new york times' review, ivy pochoda:

Reader, let me ask you a question. How much work are you willing to do to dive into a new novel? Do you want to step into a speculative world frustratingly close to our own? Do you want to spend time in an imaginary city constructed with the world-building minutiae of a high fantasy novel? Do you want to engage with new forms of government and religious sects? Are you cool if there’s foreign language peppered throughout? How about the Klan? A Red scare? A nascent F.B.I.? A love story? Do you also want jazz? And do you want all of this to be part of a detective novel?

fucking of course YES I DO.

also finished just today, the personal librarian (2021) by Marie Benedict, Victoria Christopher Murray, narrated by Robin Miles. i had known there was a belle da costa greene award offered by the maa for medievalists of color, but it took me until reading this novel to actually learn anything about belle herself, and i am thrilled it exists. i'm so, so glad she existed. figuring out how to work her into my medieval book syllabus as we speak. a very different book than the one above, though they both must have taken a huge amount of research and informed imagination and inference-- belle destroyed her correspondence, apart from her business letters apparently-- but the academic in me was hoping there would be. two or three more skosh more precision and detail in the discussion of manuscript / incunabula research. there was a lot of 'the beauty of art' and 'the value of the written word' but it felt a little cursory. still, i know i'm an outlier. the discussions of her relationships to her parents, her identity, her passing, were all executed with so much care.

watching

the build up of intensity / count-down to the opening of the restaurant in the bear s2 was getting to me in the count down to the new semester, so i turned to something a little different. what if this is the year i actually get into psych. so far, signs point to this being a good decision. just finished the spelling bee episode (s1e02 i think? i didn't realize that the pilot was two parts, i thought those were two separate eps but whatever) and it was absurd, but. i'm just so glad to be watching tv made in an era where...you have to watch the screen to get everything that's happening! and there are contrived/ridiculous premises in the same episode as some layers are built up in the main characters' relationships and actual, like, continuity! it's a serial detective show that is at bottom incredibly silly but i'm here to over think and get invested in it. love to see dulé hill in a lead role. what the hell was i doing in 2006, when not watching this.

listening

i'm exploring a bit lately, new music, new (to me) artists-- I think i'm enjoying pop girlies at the moment, song of the summer etc., and charlie xcx's brat and caroline polachek have both been on my repeat list, but i don't have a ton to report yet. honestly this week it's been a lot of listening to the podcast a more civilized age: a star wars podcast (thanks @knifepadme for the rec!!) break down over andor. it is so incredibly cute to hear how excited they get over the first three episodes, and continue to get over the whole first arc. TELEVISION! it makes me feel like i'm rewatching the show with friends, their insights and the parallels and interpretations they keep pulling out are enriching it a lot, but also their star wars nerdery is picking up on things i wouldn't have thought to get excited about, and predictions that never occurred to me, and it's. delightful.

playing

finished chants of sennaar! total play time was about 20 hours, and that's with getting all the glyphs and all but two of the accomplishments (a little sore about that since I'm pretty sure i was in proximity for at least one of them that ended up not counting, but, whatever). i did consult a guide for the final series of puzzles, not the last language but the stuff that came after, i guess because i wanted to be completionist about it--but there were also some obstacles that weren't logic or anything, but more about learning the game's patterns (the first thing i looked up was staring right in front of me, i just wasn't paying attention to the right shit). there was a moment when the genre of the game shifted, i think i've mentioned before maybe, and it happens again towards the end-- but this time it didn't hit in quite the same way? perhaps because it wasn't as big a shock. more of a 'oh well, i guess this might as well be happening' reaction. i'd done a few of the puzzles out of order, i think, earlier than they'd anticipated / as i was progressing up the tower rather than all at the end, except for one at the very bottom that i had to go back and find (thank you to the people online who write guides and do playthroughs).

i really loved the visuals and design of this game-- the colors, the angles, the wild perspectives in some of the scenes. i liked that, once i'd gotten the hang of something, i could typically repeat that manner of thinking and succeed the next time as well-- a game about learning. learning to learn!

making

sewed part of one of the new patches onto the jacket. just barely worked out a stitch i could handle, only to have my housemate lend me a little rubber finger...thingy, and make everything so much easier. why did i decide to sew through denim and multiple layers of stitching? because i don't trust the iron-able backing, and also love to make life harder for myself i guess.

working on

it's been syllabus lockdown hours over here, and considering that the first class is thursday, it will continue to be until the absolute last fucking minute. i want too much and also shy away from making literally any decision. you'd think that this level of avoidance might make it easier to productively procrastinate by working on other things, but that's a funny joke.

[mediocre-eternity]

Ah, friends. Yet again it is the season where I get a good eight hours to do whatever I need to do. The time of year where, despite the pleasant warmth, my mortal connections suffer, my social gathering spots close before the sun sets and there are no more spur of the moment Target and Ikea trips. The time of year where kindred are mostly left up to our own creative devices… we mostly end up on balconies and visiting each other.

I was invited to a party.

Some weeks ago I was intensely drawn to meet someone in the Bowery. Initially I was annoyed, because I didn’t feel like driving nor taking the subway and these types of the things are not something I’d typically ignore. The house was quiet, though. Benji was somewhere in the city on his own; Daniel was with Jesse. I decided to jump the rooftops.

The Edge was where I was being called to, which is a place I sometimes frequent alone and I wondered if it was coincidence that this was the location they asked to meet.

When I arrived, a young man was waiting in my favorite spot. He was leaning his body weight against the glass, forehead pressed to look as fully out onto the city below as he could, a position I often found myself in. The internal spark that I had finally reached him sparked and he turned to smile brightly at me. He was young, possibly as young as my mortal age and he didn’t stand much taller. His hair was a deep brown and fell to his chin, his face round and cheery, his fangs awkwardly big for his mouth which was already impossibly crowded by awful teeth.

“Armand!” He beamed when I said nothing. He appeared to me as if we were long standing friends. Immediately he was digging into his lovely wool tailored jacket. I still hadn’t spoke. “Right? Armand? Right? This is for you!” With that a card was presented to me.

“You called out for me for nights just for a greeting?” I asked, finally taking the little paper envelope from him. The package was navy and in gold ink my name was nicely written. The young man was staring.

“Oh, no, no!” His voice was just as bright as his demeanor; very friendly and British. “That was only part of it. My name’s Marshall. Marigold told me I better find you… And she wanted you to have that.” He nodded at the envelope I had already opened. Armand & Daniel, Jessica Reeves and Benjamin Mahmoud…

Marigold, you don’t have to be so formal. I thought to myself.

“I want to live here for a while, in New York.” Marshall continued. “Marigold was the first vampire I met here. She said ‘well then you better find Armand.’ I figured you were the oldest vampire in the city or something.”

I saved reading the rest of the letter until I saw Daniel again. It was one of Marigold’s yearly solstice gathering invitations. Usually they show up in the mail around this time. Maybe she tasked Marshall… a hazing perhaps? Honestly, if he had come to me first I might have done something similar… but Marigold wasn’t the type. She had shoved the invitations into his hand as he stood in her foyer, probably relieved that she didn’t have to do it herself.

“There is a very small group of us elders in New York. You’re delivering the invites?” Marshall nodded, as I had expected. “There are about five of us here, but I am the oldest out of that group. The city, however, belongs to one much more ancient.” I gave him her name and Marshall repeated this name, in shock that he didn’t see her invite in the pile of envelopes he was now frantically shuffling through. I laughed. “No she won’t be in there. She is rarely in the city. She trusts my decisions, though. And truly, I would not speak for the kindred who have always lived here.”

The young one was again silent and still.

“…and who would that be?” He piped, feeling suddenly like his Big Apple dreams might be melting under his feet. “This is so complicated.”

“Maybe twenty more vampires.” I grinned wide which made him swallow. This was fun, I liked Marshall.

“Oh.”

I stepped closer to him. Marshall was young, true, but I had taken from him that he was a Victorian. Who was still telling these fledglings that rules ended in annihilation? I figured we all dropped that after Akasha… I mean, there was a vote on it anyway.

Akasha. He had never laid eyes on her, but the fear with that name permeated a portion of his mind. And the annihilation part was mostly my fault, but he didn’t know that.

Taking what I wanted from his brain, I relaxed. “Marshall, you may live where-ever you want. Don’t encroach on anyone’s territory or human stock and you’ll be welcome. Have you met John? Roxanna?” The names of my closest constituents in the city outside of my own coven other than Marigold.

“Oh Roxanna found me and John hasn’t answered my calling.” I couldn’t help but laugh. This is exactly how I met those two. I explained how John wouldn’t and where to find him. Just a little quip back for all of the trouble John causes me.

(This particular vampire likes to not be bothered until he decides to find others in his own time. Serves him right for always calling me “Kid.”)

…

(I like John. I am not upset.)

Marshall accompanied me to a higher vantage point where I could point out where to find suitable havens, reminding him that this wasn’t Great Britain and, comparatively, we live much more free lives here, a fact that Marshall was excited about. His maker practically forced him to New York for this reason.

I asked how his maker protected him from Akasha. Marshall did not like how bluntly I had asked.

“Buried me six feet under. Maybe more. He dug and dug and threw me in and dug me back up in a month. I was lucky.” Marshall looked down from the great height and I noticed his pierced ears glimmering as his hair whipped in the air. Unusual. He looked sincerely at me. “Was it really all Lestat’s fault?”

I spent the rest of my time introducing him to the other four elders before returning to Daniel.

[crystal-crax]

A RANT

THE NEON LEON

(II) Why he needs to fail at being a leader

Inspired by Skulltrot's Leo analysis on Youtube (WATCH IT, IT'S SO GOOD, I LOVE IT)

What? Crystal! You're contradicting yourself-

Shhhh! This is poetry, listen to me

One of the reasons i've seen people complain about rise leo, is his overall "confidence".

They find him annoying or reduce him to "the funny guy", the one that messes everything up in the movie and deus ex machina's his way to the power of friendship.

But honestly, i think this is so far from the truth; Leo is integral to the concept and culmination of the rise turtles, he cements the message this version of the turtles has been trying to explain from the beginning.

You can't do everything alone; trust those who love you, and love those who you trust.

But honestly, i think a lot of people forget that we've all probably felt like him before.

Leo is quite a complicated character to understand easily (mostly bc the rise series got horribly cut down and omg i'm still hurting), because an important part of his character is he will literally never be honest about what he's feeling. The only thing he talks about? How he knows (bc he doesn't just think it, he's so sure about it) nobody trusts him or thinks he's capable of holding his own weight.

He comes off as uninterested and goofy because he so desesperately clings to that portrayal of himself because he needs to trick both others and his own mind that he's fine.

He doesn't think he's enough, he believes the team would be perfectly fine without him. He thinks he needs to prove he can do something so he can be valuable to the team.

And i think it's amazing

"Rise of the TMNT", the title already gives away the purpose of their different personalities and coping mechanisms on this version of the story. We're not meant to see an structured team of properly trained ninjas, we're here for the ride, we are walking alongside them as the team gets in line and learn how to be heroes.

Sure the other versions of the turtles had their own character arcs, you don't need to see something from the instant beginning to know the characters are growing, but rise has always felt more of a love letter to the turtle family itself. A complete exploration of an alternate universe where the mad dogz got to somewhat live as teenagers before earning the mantle as protectors of the world (and new york lol).

We're familiar with Leonardo's story in evey tmnt version, he's the leader. He's in charge of protecting the city and his family.

But the problem is always there, he fears he won't be enough, that he will fail to be the leader the world asks him to be. This is also something we see in rise leo but it's more...fresh? It feels naturally younger.

Were you never nagged about not taking things seriously when you were younger? Were you never yelled at for messing things up? Didn't you ever feel as if you had to prove to others that you were more they perceived you to be?

As someone that battles their own inferiority complex, leo feels...so easy to relate to.

He didn't ask for the responsability, and he kind of doesn't want it, but he learns to bear it properly.

He fails to be the good leader they expect him to be (i also have the theory he self-sabotages himself a lot?) but he learns to be more than what they expect.

To quote myself from my last post (yes i loved typing that) "a leader is not the one that orders, but the one that motivates and supports you". He learns how being a leader is not imposing or bearing every problem and responsability alone, but to motivate your team and guide them to never loose hope.

He uses everything he already knows about himself and his team to be better and guide them to a new version of the ninja turtle gang, one where family and trust is far more important than anything else (and it feels good to know we won't have the typical raph vs leo fight for leadership in the future- i mean there was a fight BUT IT WASN'T ABOUT THAT)

Someone stop me i might just start a tmnt rant loop of my own making and i'm enjoying it😭

[churchandstateofbeing]

anyone who ever loved unsleeping city ever NEEDS to listen to rainbow connection from the fucking. muppet movie (trust me) and new york i love you but you’re bringing me down by LCD Soundsystem (this one works best if you’ve seen chapter 2 but it works well w just season 1)

sometimes i turn on one of these two songs to just Think about unsleeping city because as someone who was also born and raised in a massive city that i love with my whole heart and soul it just makes me so full of emotion and i recommend this experience wholeheartedly. my thoughts and feelings about my city are so complicated and the unsleeping city is genuinely the only piece of media ive ever seen that really Got it. cities can feel so heartless and massive but also so magical and fantastic and full of life and hope. possibilities. big cities are about dreams and people and communities, but that means that they can’t stop themselves from changing, for better or for worse. ricky and iga and alejandro and the immigrant experience, the joy and beauty and family and community that a city can be for those who dare to dream. when puck tells misty to remember who her people are, he doesn’t understand that fairy was never hers, that the city is where she feels safe and free and alive. kingston’s elderly mother making him breakfast each morning and sneaking tupperwares into his pockets. it is a beautiful thing.

and sometimes you have to watch that beautiful this killing itself so slow as things and people change, watching the places you love close and the people in power steal them away from under you, when the city feels hostile and too big and lonely. kingston and iga walking around as the new york that they love feels like it’s getting stolen out from underneath them, as stores close or family becomes distant, being confused and hurt and sad as what they remember becomes fainter and the people around them forget what it once was. kingston being willing to kill pete if it means the city will be safe, leaving liz behind, choosing new york over the individual people around him ten times out of ten because it isn’t even a question; the betrayal he feels when epona attacks him in the subway. cody throwing ninja stars at billboards and yelling at construction workers because his mall is going to be destroyed and that’s his world. pete scrolling through his phone with a slice of pizza. sofia doing anything she can to invite people over or avoid going home, because her home is empty. sofia failing to fight the angels to get her husband back because he needs to watch the deer, cutting off her family because they’ve betrayed her so deeply. kugrash reading the letter in david’s office. cities really are easy to hate sometimes, because not every person and community is kind or good or noble, but there’s an illogical and impossible loyalty you feel even when it feels like the buildings will fall down and crush you, covered in this sick oppressive system on a hallowed holy ground, artificial and dirty and so big it’ll swallow you whole. and sometimes you have to accept that things are how they are, but you know that somewhere in here is the ability to fight and change and grow and be together and support one another- pete and nod at the diner and the museum, kingston opening his apartment so pete can get back on his feet, pete saving priya from the burning building and forgiving kingston on the train, ricky refusing to be anything but a good person even when things suck; kugrash traveling around nod on wally’s shoulders and saying it’s okay that you don’t forgive me and driving with esther to see her mother in the park and eating the bagel because even though he was horrible before he wants to be better and he believes he can be; everyone giving their spells to help alejandro catch the train and save nod; saving santa and willy and em and the art show guests and the bodega customers and la gran gata not because they have to but because they can. and while there are never easy solutions, justice can be served and your dreams can become reality- pete taking control of his reality, making his body and his magic his own; rowan talking to the american dream, you are my love and my only true love; sofia at the empire state building- there really is something up there if you go up to look for it, there are people who will fight with you, it is what it is and it is what it could be- the city is almost impossible to love if you aren’t aware that it loves you back, and it does, it does, it does.

[lvdbbooks]

2023年9月30日

【新入荷・新本】

David Wojnarowicz Dear Jean Pierre, Primary Information, 2023

592 pages. 8.5 x 11 inches. Paperback. Edition of 4000.

価格：6,930円（税込）

/

Dear Jean Pierre collects David Wojnarowicz’s transatlantic correspondence to his Parisian lover Jean Pierre Delage between 1979 and 1982. Capturing a truly foundational moment for Wojnarowicz’s artistic and literary practice, these letters not only reveal his captivating personality—and its concomitant tenderness, compassion, and neuroses—but also index the development of the visual language that would go on to define him as one of the preeminent artists of his generation.

Through this collection, readers are introduced to Wojnarowicz’s Rimbaud series, the band 3 Teens Kill 4, the publication of his first photographs, his early friendship with Peter Hujar, his participation in the then-emerging East Village art and music scenes, and the preparations for the publication of his first book. Included with these writings are postcards, drawings, xeroxes, photographs, collages, flyers, ephemera, and contact sheets that showcase some of the artist’s iconic images and work, such as the Burning House motif and Untitled (Genet, after Brassai).

Beyond these milestones, the book offers a striking portrayal of Wojnarowicz as a twenty-something, detailing his day-to-day life with the type of unbridled earnestness that comes with that age and the softness of love and longing. This disarming tenderness provides a picture of a young man just beginning to find his voice in the world and the love he has found in it.

Although the two exchanged letters in equal measure, Delage’s correspondences have largely been lost, leaving us with only a revelatory glimpse into the internal world of Wojnarowicz during what turned out to be his formative years.

David Wojnarowicz (1954-1992) was born in Red Bank, New Jersey. Wojnarowicz channeled a vast accumulation of raw images, sounds, memories and lived experiences into a powerful voice that was an undeniable presence in the New York City art scene of the 1970s, 80s and early 90s. Through his several volumes of fiction, poetry, memoirs, painting, photography, installation, sculpture, film and performance, Wojnarowicz left a legacy, affirming art’s vivifying power in a society he viewed as alienating and corrosive. His use of blunt semiotics and graphic illustrations exposed what he felt the mainstream repressed: poverty, abuse of power, blind nationalism, greed, homophobia and the devastation of the AIDS epidemic. Wojnarowicz died of AIDS-related complications on July 22, 1992 at the age of 37.

[writermuses]

About Emirhan Halil

Age: 30

FC: Alperen Duymaz

Fears: Becoming a POW; slow, painful death

Height: 6'0

Role model(s): His brother, Yasin

Things they hate: Capitalism

They will love you if... you wait about 15 years to let him realize y'all have been in a relationship?

Favorite film(s): Kingsman, The Drop, and secretly Testament of Youth

Favorite tv show(s): Broadchurch or Happy Valley

Abdullah and Fadime Halil were newlyweds, young and in love. Abdullah felt lucky to finish university and to obtain a government job as an accountant. When the 1977 elections held no victor; however, he could feel the tensions rise in the city. One by one coworkers fled or disappeared or they asked him for money and favors. Arriving to work to find his desk in disarray and records missing, he called home and instructed Fadime to pack their bags. To his surprise she was quietly already doing so, a terrifying note left on the door. Abdullah, despite the lowly appearance of his job, had come across evidence that could sway support in a coup d’état. His choices were to lose his honor or his life; moreover, failure to decide fast enough would result in his and Fadime’s death.

The decision to seek asylum in the United States was not an easy one, but Abdullah had hoped he could find another accounting job in a big city. Having heard the great New York City immigration stories of old, he thought it would be a nice place to start his new life. It was a long process to be approved to leave Turkey and a longer process still to become U.S. citizens. Abdullah had tried and tried again to find a respectable job as an accountant, but no one would take him, prejudice and politics slammed door after door in his face. With family back home expecting him to pay their way to America too, he took a job as a cab driver and Fadime cleaned houses. After a few smart remarks, Abdullah wiggled his way into an accounting position for the cab company, giving it the opportunity to expand and for him to get the letters of reference he was lacking in his field so that he could get that ‘respectable’ job.

If there was one thing the immigrants never pictured it was a life lived paycheck to paycheck. With time it became more complicated with both of their parents crammed into their one bedroom apartment. While this provided Fadime and Abdullah with free childcare, by the time their third child was on the way, they had enough and Abdullah applied to jobs and pled with people to pass his name along. He did the taxes of people in the building, offered his services for minimal fees for the shops on their streets, and, then he got an unexpected call for a phone interview. The town of Cape Elizabeth, Maine was looking for an assessor and a friend of a friend had heard of him, a hardworking family man looking to get out of the big city. Naturally, they took the plunge.

Moving to Cape Elizabeth proved to be an absolute blessing. The government job provided them with temporary housing until they could buy a home on Abdullah’s new salary. That salary and the cost of living gave them a three level home where the grandparents took the basement, family time was shared in the center, and the upstairs rooms gave a master to Abdullah and Fadime, a soft pink room to their eldest child, Ayşe, a room off equal size and painted green to their middle child, Yasin, and a small nursery to their incoming boy, Emirhan. Unfortunately, life could not be so simple for the Halils and their extended family. On November 3rd, a heavy snow had fallen and as the ambulance took Fadime and Abdullah to the hospital for the birth of Emirhan, the crowded station wagon carrying all four of Emirhan’s grandparents and his two siblings lost control and crashed into the woods. The ambulance drove on, sending out a call for help as the stress sent the couple into further panic.

Only Ayşe and Yasin had survived the crash, but the trauma of sitting in a freezing car with blood and death of their love ones haunted them. Ayşe, who was nearly ten, suffered from night terrors. Yasin, at age six, began to act out or refused to speak at all, and there seemed to be no rhyme or reason behind his extreme mood swings. While Abdullah continued to work, Fadime stayed at home, caring for the children to the best of her ability, and pouring as much hope and love into Emirhan as possible. He seemed, for all intents and purposes, a happy baby. She had tried to have him made aware of his grandparents by wrapping him in their clothes and telling him stories, but once he could crawl he seemed to roam around too much for such things. Fadime packed up the rooms and left little of their memories out, which seemed to help Ayşe and Yasin. Then, Emirhan began to talk and the family was given a great shock.

Despite Ayşe and Yasin speaking solely English, Emirhan’s first words were in Turkish. He would walk to the shelf and touch the pictures and say “Merhaba dede!” or “Seni özledik”. While some parents may have found that sweet, the Halils were staunch Turkish Muslims that believed in Jinn and the Evil Eye. They feared for their son and put talismans in his room and Qu’ran verses in the common areas of the home. As he grew up and became more curious, Emirhan stumbled across the boxes of his grandparents belongings and found himself fascinated by them. He snuck item after item back to his room. Where he found stories and communication in the objects, relaying that to his family had concerning responses. For example, he brought up Dede’s watch and the inscription on the back, a verse about love and how it had been recited at Fadime and Abdullah’s wedding. They were surprised to hear it, but then more concerned when Emirhan looked to his siblings and said Dede wanted Ayşe and Yasin to carry love and happiness in their lives too. Was it wisdom or a curse?

They hoped their son was observant and intuitive, but they scolded him when these things happened in public to strangers. Emirhan learned slowly to keep his psychometry to himself, his own parents refusing to believe it, despite the evidence. The Halil children went through school and were considered to be odd. This led to different lifestyle choices and interests for each of the children, but also increased the bond between them, despite their age differences. However, Emirhan remained the sort of odd child out. Regardless of people believing in Heaven or Hell, ghosts and demons, a spirit world or intuition, Emirhan believed in what he saw or heard and always trusted his gut. In the end, that decision, despite his decision to not discuss his belief in psychometry (once he could put a word to the skill) would save lives and put others at peace.

With no fear of death and little interest in spending an excessive amount of money or time in school, Emirhan chose to be a mortician. However, to prevent being a burden on his father, who was already paying for the tuition of his older siblings, he chose to do so in the military. The idea alone terrified Abdullah and Fadime, but they let him go because they knew he was too strong willed to be told no. With their consent, he enlisted in the United States Navy, completing his training at Fort Lee, Virginia in 2011 before finding out he would immediately be sent to Afghanistan. Emirhan was fluent in Turkish and English, understood Arabic and could read it, and he was competent in Spanish, which he had taken in high school. Knowing he would be going to the Middle East encouraged him to learn Pashto and Dari, two similar languages, and to perfect his Arabic.

On paper, the job description was this: In a small unit of two or three Hospital Corpsmen and with volunteer security or local support, Emirhan would search areas for hasty or unmarked graves, unburied dead, personal effects, and identification media. They would also prepare, preserve, and ship the remains. This meant that he would frequently be in danger and then travel out of Afghanistan to Germany, Korea, or Puerto Rico, depending on the circumstances of his findings. In most cases, his trips were back to Germany and the remains made the next trip without him. As a result, Emirhan decided, after a couple of years of living on the Ramstein Air Base when he wasn’t in Afghanistan, he decided to rent a flat in Frankfurt.

Given the significantly higher rates of PTSD in his field, the military morticians were given longer and more regular periods of leave. Emirhan regularly uses these breaks to attend funerals in the states, leaving letters on the graves of those that have passed, to be found by the families. Passing on what he is given has largely been his way of coping with the terror of the world he lives in, but he does still have moments of overwhelming empathy that have impacted his personal life. From shaking a blind date’s hand and brushing against a bracelet that belonged to her mother, Emir could find himself catching flashes of a person’s personal life or the sorrow of a grandmother long gone. Other times he could be carefully moving through an antique store where his date had insisted they visit so he could get a second chair or more lamps, his fingers could brush the keys of a piano and he could be overwhelmingly compelled to sit and play. Then, despite never having training, if he indulged the urge the tune would come out. His partners had always, eventually, come to the conclusion that he was emotionally unstable or weird.

Despite the difficulties of his job, his interests, and the conflicts with his faith, Emirhan explored the world with hope and optimism. From learning Spanish guitar in Catalonia to praying in the Hagia Sophia before exploring the streets his parents grew up on in Turkey, traveling on the Lattice opened his eyes. Emirhan believes there is a delicate balance of cruelty and love in the world and that through travel, the balance can be tipped for good. While you may see him pausing awkwardly while exploring a museum, crying when he picks up items that spilled out of a stranger’s purse, or rubbing his temple as he tries to recall something he’d just said in a language he doesn’t actually know, Emirhan prides himself in his life having purpose.

[greenlikethesea]

15 questions, however many people -- take two!

tagged by @spinmewriteround​ and @sea-heaux​! thank you so much y’all. i’ve done this but i feel like doing it again, and i have slightly different answers now.

15 questions

1. Are you named after anyone?

i kind of gave a flip answer last time, so i’ll go into more detail this time. my birth name is just a name my mother thought was pretty when she was 12, and my middle name (which i’m keeping when i change my name) is a family middle name. shortly after i was born, a major figure came into prominence and people thought my mom named me after her, and she was PISSED about it, hahaha.

the name that most people call me is one that people think is after a book character, and it sort of is, but it’s also after a movie character. it also starts with the same letter as my birth name so i can keep my initials (which i love), and it has the same number of letters as my last name, which my birth name also does. a great deal of thought went into picking this name!

greenie is just an abbreviation of my username -- you all called me that and i liked it so i adopted it.

2. When was the last time you cried?

yesterday, because i had therapy and it was emotional!

3. Do you have kids?

i do not have children. the last time i answered this question, i gave my stock “and i don’t want them!!” answer, but it’s more complicated than that: i was parentified growing up, so my reluctance to have kids stems partially from that, and also because i have qualms about both adopting and giving birth.

4. Do you use sarcasm a lot?

irony more, but i dabble in sarcasm if it’s useful to me. i was a lot more sarcastic when i was younger!

5. What's the first thing you notice about people?

their hair and their posture! i love good hair, like steve harrington. i also tend to notice how tall they are, because i am not a very big person. and then their hands, because i find hands very interesting.

6. What's your eye color?

they are greyish blue! i have an orange spot in one of them. sometimes they look a little more grey if i’m wearing darker clothing. i once peered around a corner at sparkly’s apartment to be silly and she was like “ah yes, the biggest bluest eyes in the world” and it was very funny coming from her, a lady with beautiful blue eyes

7. Scary movies or happy endings?

both! i love whatever ending serves the story. i’ve seen a lot of horror movies and i tend to love a hopeless ending in my horror films. in my fiction reading, i love a happy ending, though. call me sentimental like that.

8. Any special talents?

i feel like “special talents” means “unusual talents” and i don’t really have any of those. hmmm, is it a cop out to say that a talent i have is that if i am taught something, i usually get good at it pretty quickly? for example, i went to one of those BYO painting classes last night (brought some non-alcoholic ginger beer!) and even though there was a teacher helping us, my painting turned out pretty good!

9. Where were you born?

a borough of new york city, one of the most populous places in the planet, so i’m very much doxxing myself here. (maybe i can be sarcastic...)

10. What are your hobbies?

i actually do have hobbies, it turns out, but you’ll notice a pattern with them -- karaoke, songwriting, playing ukulele/guitar/mandolin, painting, zumba (it’s a hobby!!), yoga, collage making, and i plan on getting into community theater and improv! (yes, insufferable of me. i don’t give a shit. die mad about it.)

11. Do you have any pets?

a very, very elderly little black cat named wellington!

12. What sports do you play/have played?

oh goodness -- like i’ve asserted many times on this blog, i am decidedly not about that sport life. all my friends are hot jocks and i am cheering from the bleachers. i’ve competitively swam and ice skated, and i did soccer for a year as a child. most of the sports i’ve ever done in my life have been for an academic context. my high school had really interesting types of gym classes -- weight training, yoga, gymnastics, and i had fun with all of those, even though i was terrible. i was a runner for a long time, and i’m pretty strong and athletic despite being chronically ill. thanks, celtic genetics, for making me built like a fucking ox for no reason.

13. How tall are you?

5'2ish", but it says 5′3″ on my license because that’s easier and close enough. i usually wear shoes with some kind of platform or heel, so i’m usually standing at anywhere from 5′3″ to 5′5″. 

14. Favorite subject in school?

i went to a performing arts high school, so my favorite courses were my choir classes and music classes. i miss being able to sing for four hours a day every day! i’d love to join a community choir again at some point. after that, it was definitely english, as i had some wonderful teachers in those subjects. in undergrad, i was a theater major (is anyone surprised?), so i loved my theater courses, but i took a lot of poetry courses as well, which made me major in poetry for my MFA.

15. Dream job?

oh man, i’ve answered this one differently every time, because i do not dream of labor and i’ve hated almost every job i’ve had. i’d love to be in good enough physical shape to do care work again, because i found it immensely rewarding, and do little freelance gigs on the side to supplement stuff. that’s the realistic route i’d take.

wildly outlandish and crazy? just living my best life? i want to make weird fucking art in the woods or the mountains, preferably as part of a collective or community. i want to make serialized radio. even if i don’t get to make my proposed dissertation project, i still want to create it, even if the route will be more difficult (i want to make a 6-12 full issue run of a national geographic, complete with my own photography and articles, that seems like it was published in another dimension.)

i don’t care if you’ve been tagged, i want to know everything about you (but obviously no pressure DUH) @sparklyslug @friendship-switchblades @andropogonfalons @dallae @slothy-girl @compassionlotion @tayyloryork @tazigo

if i haven’t tagged you, i’ve tagged you in prior iterations of this or i forgot!!!

[rockislandadultreads]

November NoveList Challenge

For this month's challenge, give thanks and read a book about chosen family or family gatherings! For more recommendations, be sure to check out NoveList - all you need is your library card!

Everyone in My Family Has Killed Someone by Benjamin Stevenson

Everyone in my family has killed someone. Some of us, the high achievers, have killed more than once. I'm not trying to be dramatic, but it is the truth. Some of us are good, others are bad, and some just unfortunate.

I'm Ernest Cunningham. Call me Ern or Ernie. I wish I'd killed whoever decided our family reunion should be at a ski resort, but it's a little more complicated than that.

Have I killed someone? Yes. I have.

Who was it?

Let's get started.

This is the first volume of the "Ernest Cunningham" series.

Adult Assembly Required by Abbi Waxman

When Laura Costello moves to Los Angeles, trying to escape an overprotective family and the haunting memories of a terrible accident, she doesn’t expect to be homeless after a week. (She’s pretty sure she didn’t start that fire - right?) She also doesn't expect to find herself adopted by a rogue bookseller, installed in a lovely but completely illegal boardinghouse, or challenged to save a losing trivia team from ignominy… but that’s what happens. Add a regretful landlady, a gorgeous housemate, and an ex-boyfriend determined to put himself back in the running and you’ll see why Laura isn’t really sure she’s cut out for this adulting thing. Luckily for her, her new friends Nina, Polly, and Impossibly Handsome Bob aren't sure either, but maybe if they put their heads (and hearts) together they’ll be able to make it work for them.

This is the second volume of "The Bookish Life of Nina Hill" series.

The Monsters We Defy by Leslye Penelope

In the summer of 1925, along Washington, DC’s “Black Broadway”, a malevolent entity has begun preying on Negro residents. Twenty-three-year-old Clara Johnson is determined to discover what’s going on in her community. Using her natural ability to talk with spirits, she begins to investigate, but a powerful spirit tasks her with a difficult quest: steal an ancient, magical ring from the finger of a wealthy socialite.

When Clara meets Israel Lee, a supernaturally enhanced jazz musician also vying for the ring, the two decide to work together. They put together an unlikely team including a former circus freak, a pickpocketing Pullman Porter, and an aging vaudeville actor to pull off an impossible heist.

But a dangerous spirit interferes at every turn and conflict in the spirit world is leaking out into the human world. With different agendas, even if Clara and Israel pull off the heist, only one of them can truly win.

Our Missing Hearts by Celeste Ng

Twelve-year-old Bird Gardner lives a quiet existence with his loving but broken father, a former linguist who now shelves books in a university library. Bird knows to not ask too many questions, stand out too much, or stray too far. For a decade, their lives have been governed by laws written to preserve “American culture” in the wake of years of economic instability and violence. To keep the peace and restore prosperity, the authorities are now allowed to relocate children of dissidents, especially those of Asian origin, and libraries have been forced to remove books seen as unpatriotic - including the work of Bird’s mother, Margaret, a Chinese American poet who left the family when he was nine years old.

Bird has grown up disavowing his mother and her poems; he doesn’t know her work or what happened to her, and he knows he shouldn’t wonder. But when he receives a mysterious letter containing only a cryptic drawing, he is pulled into a quest to find her. His journey will take him back to the many folktales she poured into his head as a child, through the ranks of an underground network of librarians, into the lives of the children who have been taken, and finally to New York City, where a new act of defiance may be the beginning of much-needed change.

[burberrycanary]

I, too, want to procrastinate right now so thanks @zenaidamacrouras1 for the tag <3333

Rules: Fic authors self rec! When you get this, reply with your favorite five fics that you've written, then pass this onto other writers. Let’s spread the self-love 💖

I’ve been on a writing streak lately and I’m usually most excited by what I’m currently working on. But, taking a look back, here are some works I’m proud of.

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Still Left with the River (The Paradox of Motion) - 14k | G | Steve/Bucky, MCU

Summary: Coming back from as good as dead to a changed world is easier the second time around. But then Steve supposes that, like with most things, you get better with practice. 

A post-The Falcon and The Winter Soldier Stucky Endgame fix-it where even if you can’t go home again, you’ve got to go somewhere.

This is part of my massive labor of love stucky end game fix-it and probably my favorite story in the series, viewed individually. As I was writing this I went: no one is going to want to read a G-rated post-TFATWS stucky fic that doesn’t provide pretty immediate shippy gratification. But I love watching Steve have to pick himself up and go on after making a huge mistake that deeply hurt the people he loves most. While it can be cathartic as a reader to watch the people Steve left behind be furious, chewing him out until Steve has suffered some amount that’s “enough,” what I wanted to focus on is how hurting and disappointing the people closest to you, who continue to love you painfully through the hurt, creates such a complicated mess of damaged relationships. Steve, re-isolated by so much death and his own mistakes, now has to deal with repairing what he put wrong, if he can and if he’s given the chance to. But as the paradox of motion title would suggest, crossing that distance isn't easy.

This story is a quiet complicated love letter to New York City while this whole series is a massive intricate love letter to Bucky Barnes. Plus, Steve quietly pining is so my jam I can’t even. Come for Steve pining, stay for Steve making things right again.

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What the Living Do - 10k and counting  | G-E ratings | Henry/Alex, RWRB

Series Summary: This story is set a few months post-film and in a better universe than ours. Henry divides his time between New York and Kensington Palace. Alex is a second year student at Georgetown Law in Washington D.C. and lives in the White House. The distance is hard, but they're making it work.

We want the spring to come and the winter to pass. We want whoever to call or not call, a letter, a kiss—we want more and more and then more of it.

The epigraph of this series is from Marie Howe’s What the Living Do, which is a poem she wrote to her brother who had died from AIDS. It beautifully balances grief and living.

I’m drawn to characters who aren’t going to immediately tell you everything they are thinking and feeling—and to performances where so much is conveyed through micro-expressions that you don’t need dialogue.

Which means this RWRB series is an interesting challenge for me as an author that’s involved writing a lot of very direct communication all the way up to out-in-out Relationship talks. And a lot of fluff. But thanks to the series being told from Henry’s POV, it’s fluff in a minor-key mood. So if you like your bantery domestic fluff shot through with slowly healing grief and the lingering impact of spending years in the closet without a supportive family only to be traumatically outed, then this is the series for you.

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The Art of the Possible - 9k | M | Sharon-centric, TFATWS/MCU

Summary: Maybe whether you’ve picked the wrong side depends on where you’re standing—but if you can’t tell who the sucker at the poker table is: it’s you.

Sharon before, during, and after Madripoor.

I had so much fun writing this with @village-skeptic though it is absolutely not a story for everyone: non-linear and less than straightforward without the hook of a popular ship. Maybe I’m just drawn to characters the MCU keeps doing dirty (cough Bucky cough), but the incoherently bad writing of TFATWS created openings to tell a story that focuses on the bleakly dark aspects of the thematic and subtextual storytelling that is foundational to the MCU. And Sharon was the right character for telling that story.

But for anyone troubled by the politics of the MCU? This is a story for you and I hope you give it a try.

The trick to telling a story with heroes is knowing when to stop and what to leave out.

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I Leave This at Your Ear - 5k | E | Betty/Jughead, Riverdale

Summary: They sort of break up again on February 17 and definitely get back together on March 15. They barely talk between “the Valentine's Day massacre and the ides of March,” he jokes later, sitting next to her in a booth at Pop’s and hoping that she’ll slide closer to rest her head on his shoulder like she used to.

Ah, the brief golden age of Riverdale when that sandbox was fun to play in. This is probably the single best expression of my style as a writer: lyrical, a lot more show than tell, starting in medias res with people talking around strong feelings that are conveyed without being directly mentioned much of anywhere. I’m drawn to focusing on the hard and messy parts of relationships without the big drama of external angst or the relatively easy knots to untie that are misunderstandings—a Marmite tendency, I know. But I love thinking about the part where you go, ok, but how do we actually live with everything that’s happened? Getting back together is easy in comparison to going forward afterward—that is what’s hard.

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Exactly the Contents of One - 6k | M | Starsky/Hutch, Starsky & Hutch

The day's smoggy and breathless, already in the mid-eighties with the weatherman promising worse tomorrow, but as long as they keep moving it's not so bad.

(Or, becoming Starsky and Hutch.)

I definitely have a type: two characters who are very different people but share common values and are fighting for something bigger than themselves—idealists who get all mucked up and worn out in the trenches while loving each other too deeply and too much, generally in ways that are at odds with the society around them. Yeah, that’s my ship type. 

This is a throwback pick for an old fic, but I’ve always been interested in how slash developed as a genre and a subculture. I ended up taking a tour of some OG ships from the 60s and 70s, including going pretty deep down a Starsky/Hutch rabbit hole (the 70s TV series and not the film remake, I cannot emphasize enough). I was nervous about signing up for this because there was a 5k minimum word count and at the time I’d never written anything near that long. So, wow, I’ve come a long way.

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I'm not sure how long this game has been going around, but if @skarabrae-stone, @sullypants, @beaarthurpendragon or @controlofwhatido haven't played yet and would like to, please have some self-rec love 🥰

[rhetoricandlogic]

THE SHIP BEYOND TIME From the Girl from Everywhere series , Vol. 2

by Heidi Heilig ‧ RELEASE DATE: Feb. 28, 2017

Her white, widowed father, Slate, having failed to remake the past, has abdicated; mixed-race Nix Song now captains the Temptation, Navigating through time to mapped destinations, real and otherwise, in this sequel to The Girl from Everywhere (2016).

Joined by Blake, a young, white cartographer who supports the Hawaiian monarchy, they depart 1884 Hawaii for modern New York. Realizing Nix and Kashmir (the Persian boy they rescued years earlier) are in love, Slate tells Nix that her grandmother, Joss, a Chinese Navigator and seer, has seen Kash will be lost at sea—but that past and future can sometimes be changed. In New York, a strange woman gives Nix a map of Ys, a mythical island city off the coast of Brittany. With the map, dated 1637, is a letter inviting her to visit Ys that asserts the past can indeed be changed. Buoyed by hope, the seekers sail to Ys, their quest to protect Kash, restore Nix’s mother (who died in childbirth), and save the Hawaiian monarchy. This genre-busting series—neither fantasy-romance nor historical fiction in disguise—offers an original take on a classic conundrum: if we can change the past, delete death and loss from life and love, what will it cost—and who pays? Nix’s narrative voice reveals a complicated protagonist who moves between trenchant pragmatism and poetic flights with fluidity. Although some plotlines are resolved, others are left, tantalizingly and frustratingly, hanging.

Concluding the duology, this ingeniously plotted time twister deepens the narrative, sharpens characterization, and raises the stakes, leaving readers high and dry, wanting more . (Fantasy. 14-18)

[patheticgirl33]

MY YEAR OF REST AND RELAXATION

The bible for girls like me.

“Sleep felt productive. Something was getting sorted out. I knew in my heart—this was, perhaps, the only thing my heart knew back then—that when I'd slept enough, I'd be okay. I'd be renewed, reborn. I would be a whole new person, every one of my cells regenerated enough times that the old cells were just distant, foggy memories. My past life would be but a dream, and I could start over without regrets, bolstered by the bliss and serenity that I would have accumulated in my year of rest and relaxation.”

the book is set in new york city, just before 9/11. it follows a woman in her late 20s as she tries to sleep a year of her life away after losing both her parents. in order to do this, she gets the help of a psychiatrist who prescribes her as many different sleeping pills as she wants. dr. tuttle, who is responsible for one of my favorite quotes ever:

“I’ve just been certified as a shaman, or sha-woman, if you please.”

our narrator is grieving but she’s determined to ignore it. she had a complicated relationship with both her parents, who she often describes as not loving her. she grew up in an incredibly cold but wealthy household, so she was surrounded by everything she could want except love and affection. she writes:

“I wanted to hold onto the house the way you'd hold onto a love letter. It was proof that I had not always been completely alone in the world. But I think I was also holding on to the loss, to the emptiness of the house itself, as though to affirm that it was better to be alone than to be stuck with people who were supposed to love you, yet couldn't.”

when they die i think she’s incredibly confused by her grief. she doesn’t understand why she’s feeling it and i think that’s ultimately why she chooses to sleep a year of her life away. we see grief in other forms in this novel too, not just death. our narrator is also grieving her relationship with her wall street finance bro boyfriend, trevor, who leaves her for a more well adjusted woman. she often interrupts her year of rest and relaxation to hookup with him, which leads her to feel more degraded and dejected.

“I still couldn't accept that Trevor was a loser and a moron. I didn't want to believe that I could have degraded myself for someone who didn't deserve it. I was still stuck on that bit of vanity. But I was determined to sleep it away.”

her most important relationship is her best friend, reva, who is often the source of interruption in our protagonist’s year of rest and relaxation. reva is a bulimic marnie michaels esqe girlboss who is obsessed with status. she is the polar opposite of our unnamed narrator, who finds reva vapid and boring. yet she remains friends with her. one of my favorite scenes in the book is when the narrator wakes up on the subway, holding a bunch of flowers, and is on her way to reva’s mothers funeral. when she wakes up she’s confused because in her waking life she had absolutely zero desire to attend this funeral and even describes reva’s grief as annoying, and yet subconsciously she made the choice to be there.

my favorite part about this novel is the narrator’s relationship with reva. it’s so disgustingly complicated. reva is often the source of our narrator’s discontent for life. she says things like:

“I was both relieved and irritated when Reva showed up, the way you'd feel if someone interrupted you in the middle of suicide.”

and

“Reva often spoke about 'settling down.' That sounded like death to me. 'I'd rather be alone than anybody's live-in prostitute,' I said to Reva.”

when the planes hit the twin towers, reva is in them. the narrator describes the scene as:

“On September 11, I went out and bought a new TV/VCR at Best Buy so I could record the news coverage of the planes crashing into the Twin Towers. Trevor was on a honeymoon in Barbados, I'd later learn, but Reva was lost. Reva was gone. I watched the videotape over and over to soothe myself that day. And I continue to watch it, usually on a lonely afternoon, or any other time I doubt that life is worth living, or when I need courage, or when I am bored. Each time I see the woman leap off the seventy-eighth floor of the North Tower—one high-heeled shoe slipping off and hovering up over her, the other stuck on her foot as though it were too small, her blouse untucked, hair flailing, limbs stiff as she plummets down, one arm raised, like a dive into a summer lake—I am overcome by awe, not because she looks like Reva, and I think it's her, almost exactly her, and not because Reva and I had been friends, or because I'll never see her again, but because she is beautiful. There she is, a human being, diving into the unknown, and she is wide awake.”

this is how the novel ends. reva’s death becomes the vehicle in which our narrator can work through and understand her grief. my sister and i often talk about how she describes reva’s jump as “a human being, diving into the unknown, and she is wide awake.” i think this is so interesting because it gives the narrator the courage to face her own life and her grief “wide awake.” such a great novel

[regardstosoulandromance]

review: the getaway list by emma lord

I’ll read anything Emma Lord writes. Her books are fun and charming, full of heart with just the right balance of humor and genuine enthusiasm for the world. Anytime I pick up a new one of her books, I know it will be a fun time, and The Getaway List was no exception. 

To my west coaster self, New York City is a fantasy land that only exists in Nora Ephron movies and novels by Meg Cabot and Emma Lord. To these writers, the city feels like a character itself, a setting so integral to the plot that trying to transplant the story anywhere else would make it fall flat. Emma Lord describes her most recent novel as not just a love letter to New York, “but my aggressively caps locked, mildly unhinged love scream to New York.”

The day of her high school graduation, Riley realizes two things: One, that she has spent the last four years trying so hard to be a Good Kid for her mom that she has no idea who she really is anymore, and two, she has no idea what she wants because of it. The solution? Pack her bags and move to New York for the summer, where her childhood best friend Tom and co-creator of The Getaway List ― a list of all the adventures they’ve wanted to do together since he moved away ― will hopefully help her get in touch with her old adventurous self, and pave the road to a new future.

Riley isn’t sure what to expect from Tom, who has been distant since his famous mom’s scriptwriting career pulled him away. But when Riley arrives in the city, their reconnection is as effortless as it was when they were young―except with one, unexpected complication that will pull Riley’s feelings in a direction she didn’t know they could take. As she, Tom, and their newfound friends work their way through the delightfully chaotic items on The Getaway List, Riley learns that sometimes the biggest adventure is not one you take, but one you feel in your heart.

Riley and Tom’s relationship is the heart of the story. Best friends as children, they come up with the Getaway List as a sort of bucket list of goals. After being separated for years, they fall back together and rediscover their friendship through their list as they explore NYC together. While Riley’s mom is convinced that they rile each other up too much and are nothing but trouble, there’s a clear sense that these characters care for each other, even when they’re trying to be goofy. 

Tom’s frown only deepens. “Your knee is bleeding.”  “It’s okay,” I say, sitting up, “I’ve got another one.”

One of the major conflicts of the novel is Riley’s relationship with her mother. Up until the events of The Getaway List, Riley and her mom had a close relationship, especially since her mother was a single mom. But Riley’s mom not only opposes Riley going to New York, but Riley realizes that the reason she hasn’t been able to cubist Tom for years is because her mother is trying to keep them apart. Mother/daughter relationships are a recurring theme in Emma Lord’s books and I liked how it was done here. 

Another thing I greatly enjoyed in The Getaway List was the side characters. Each character added color to the story, all unique and memorable from aspiring writer Luca to coder Mariella to band member/swiftie Jesse. Despite the full cast of characters, they were introduced organically and fully fleshed out. 

The only thing that kept this book at a four star instead of five, for me, was that it uses the childhood friends to lovers trope. This is entirely a personal preference, I rarely enjoy friends to lovers and almost never enjoy childhood friends to lovers. But it was well done in The Getaway List, the build up of Riley and Tom’s relationship on the page and their eventual romance was sweet. 

Maybe New York felt like the place to run to, but really, that somewhere was in me this entire time. 

The Getaway List was a delightful romp through New York City. Although marketed as Young Adult, it straddles the line between YA and New Adult well, featuring teenage characters coming into their own. I greatly enjoyed it. 

[audiofictionuk]

New Fiction Podcasts - 29th August

MINDRAKER: Background Anger New Audio Drama! MINDRAKER: BACKGROUND ANGER is an eight-episode sci-fi mystery podcast – a surreal tale of love and betrayal, wrapped in an existential meditation on man’s relationship with the forces at war within himself. Mankind is under attack. Alien beings have invaded the collective unconscious, influencing unsuspecting victims to act on their darkest instincts. Maru, a seemingly average man, is burdened by his clandestine duty as a psychic soldier in the fight against the ruthless invaders. But his dual existence has recently become further complicated by a Box of unimaginable power given to him by God. https://mindraker-background-anger.simplecast.com RSS:https://feeds.simplecast.com/ZkSmo_qD

Crimson Hearts Collide New Audio Drama! As one of the top lawyers in New York City, Sonora Williams (Malinda Williams) is as driven as they come. On track to make partner at her law firm and being one of the youngest to ever do so, she has little time for a personal life. One day she receives a letter in the mail that changes everything – Sonora has an uncle who just passed away and left her an inheritance, a farm in Greenville, Alabama. For her entire life, growing up in foster care, she was told she had no family leaving her to wonder, if he knew about her why did he not come for her? In order to get the answers she seeks, Sonora must leave her best friend in NYC (Amanda Seales) and close-knit community to travel to Greenville and meet the people who keep the farm running – including the handsome cowboy Zeke Summers (Keith D. Robinson) who immediately captures her attention.  https://cms.megaphone.fm/channel/MIARM1463492131 RSS:https://feeds.megaphone.fm/MIARM1463492131

Professionally Possessed New Audio Drama! A collection of stand-alone fantasy audio stories about Helena, a woman who exorcises people of demons by drawing the demons out of their bodies into hers. She stumbled into this line of work by a botched exorcism she endured as a child which permanently marked her with a tattoo that forces demons to take her instead of other victims. To survive, she learned how to defeat demons in their inner world, their second consciousness, with magic powers that only exist there. However, she is powerless to control her own body in the outer world while possessed. She is often helped by Martzia, a charismatic licensed exorcist who finds clients, handles the money, and comforts victims, and Bridgette, a former soldier and demon slayer, who protects Helana from herself and makes sure she doesn’t hurt anyone else. Occasionally, Simon, a healer mage given his powers by a mysterious god, also helps out. https://twitter.com/ProfPossessPod RSS:https://pinecast.com/feed/professionally-possessed

The Third Threat New Audio Drama! Our worst fears come true... on the home front. An ordinary woman is swept up into an extraordinary plot against America, by Russian domestic terrorists. She's overheard key details of the plot, but does not speak Russian... until she undergoes an experimental procedure, and becomes America's unlikely best chance against enemies hiding in plain sight. https://www.voyagemedia.fm/shows/ RSS:https://feeds.megaphone.fm/thethirdthreat

QNC Presents: Keys From the Golden Vault New Audio RPG! QNC Presents: Keys From the Golden Vault is an anthology series of modules GM'd by Alandra Hileman and tied together to form a full campaign. We record this Dungeons and Dragons Actual Play in-studio and livestream on twitch and youtube. The Golden Vault is a secret organization offering legally questionable services from those that need help outside the law. https://goldenvault.captivate.fm RSS:https://feeds.captivate.fm/goldenvault/

Batman II Audio Play Based on the Unused Batman Returns Sam Hamm Script New Audio Book! Batman II Audio Play Based on the Unused Batman Returns Sam Hamm Script https://rss.com/podcasts/batman2 RSS:https://media.rss.com/batman2/feed.xml

SYMBIOSE New Audio Drama! Hørespillet SYMBIOSE er et stykke dramatik om det tætte dyadiske venindeskab, hjerteveninderne og the Best Friends Forever. To bedste veninder befinder sig pludseligt på forskellige sider af kloden og er nødsagede til at rykke deres venskab over på en telefonlinje. Venindeskabet er euforisk, selvtranscenderende, grænseløst og risikabelt. Hvordan kan man være sig selv, når man stræber efter den totale sammensmeltning? Veninderne bevæger sig ud i et forsøg på et radikalt venskabsritual for at tage den yderste konsekvens af den perfekte symbiose. Med inspiration fra eksistentialistisk kærlighedsteori beskæftiger SYMBIOSE sig med længslen mod aldrig at skulle være sig selv igen. Dramatik og instruktion: Lise Hagen Medvirkende: Stine Stub Nielsen og Mollie Næss-Smidt Produceret på Uniradioen af Dyvekes Fremtid https://www.uniradioen.dk/ RSS:https://pinecast.com/feed/symbiose

Nights At The Square Table New Audio RPG! Listen to a group of friends tell stories and laugh a lot through the medium of table-top role-play-games (TTRPG), mainly Dungeons & Dragons. Our first epic campaign, The Kyruen Chronicles, is available now! Follow along with our heroes as they discover lost artifacts, learn more about themselves, and occasionally tell a joke or two. https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/the-square-table RSS:https://anchor.fm/s/e6c823a0/podcast/rss

Crash Course DM New Audio RPG! Part Dungeon Master’s diary, part live play, Crash Course DM is a series of DnD firsts for our adventurers, whose characters were randomly assigned, and the DM who doesn’t know what they’re doing. Tune in every other week to follow along with the DMs plan and see how the players don’t! https://anythingyoucando.co/crash-course-dm/ RSS:https://anchor.fm/s/e6dd18dc/podcast/rss

Des Reisenden erste Wahl New Audio RPG! Du hörst einen Let's Play-Podcast zum Pen-&-Paper-Rollenspiel „Das schwarze Auge“ in der 5. Edition. Unsere Gruppe besteht aus vier Helden und einem Erzähler. Die Gruppe erlebt offizielle Abenteuer, die improvisiert aufgefüllt werden. Wir spielen nicht alle Regeln aus und stellen den Spielspaß in den Vordergrund. https://www.des-reisenden-erste-wahl.de RSS:https://dsa.podcaster.de/des-reisenden-erste-wahl.rss

[9jahitbase]

US history hasn't been a 'fairy tale'

WASHINGTON (AP) — President Joe Biden on Saturday told graduates of a leading historically Black university that American history “has not always been a fairy tale” and that “racism has long torn us apart." But on the nation's best days, he said “enough of us have the guts and the heart to stand up for the best in us.”As Biden spoke, more than a dozen cap-and-gowned Howard University students stood with their backs to him holding handmade signs in silent protest over what they said were many forms of white supremacist violence.In his speech, Biden described the 2017 white nationalist rally in Charlottesville, Virginia, which he has said helped compel him to run for president in 2020.Hate “never goes away” and “silence is complicity,” Biden said.“We know that American history has not always been a fairy tale,” Biden said, describing a constant “push and pull” between the idea that at all people are created equal and “the harsh reality that racism has long torn us apart."”But on the best days enough of us have the guts and the hearts to stand up for the best in us," he continued. “To choose love over hate, unity over disunion, progress over retreat.”Biden, who recently announced that he is running for a second term in 2024, said he came to Howard to “continue the work to redeem the soul of this nation,” which was a theme of his 2020 campaign.He told the graduates they feed his optimism for the future.“You're part of the most gifted, tolerant, talented, best-educated generation in American history. That's a fact,” he said. “And it's your generation, more than anyone else’s, who will answer the questions for America: Who are we, what do we stand for, what do we believe, what do we want to be.”It was unclear whether Biden was aware that several students had turned their backs as they held handmade signs protesting some of the injustices he mentioned in his speech. One sign named Jordan Neely, the New York City subway performer who died May 1 after he was restrained in a chokehold by another passenger.Story continuesThe passenger, Daniel Penny, 24, a former Marine, surrendered to police on Friday to face a manslaughter charge. He was freed pending trial."We as graduates stand united for change, for Black Lives globally," the students said in a statement. The White House had no comment.Biden spoke after he was awarded an honorary Doctor of Letters degree.The speech at Howard was the first of two commencement addresses Biden will deliver this year. He is scheduled to address graduates of the U.S. Air Force Academy in Colorado on June 1. Source link Read the full article

[armoricaroyalty]

re: spotify, 12 & 15 & 23 !!!

12. Dear Wormwood - The Oh Hellos

I was obsessed with this whole album (a concept album based on The Screwtape Letters, one of C.S. Lewis’ books for adults) for most of August and September. It ended up being my album of the year and most of the songs made it into my top 100. I’m pretty sure this album/band is stealth Christian rock, but I do love songs about fucked-up interpersonal relationships.

15. Mt St. Helens - Mirah

I discovered this song through Pandora when I was a sophomore or junior in high school, and it’s been in my rotation ever since. My tastes have only slightly evolved since then, lol.

23. New York - St. Vincent

I love this song so much. Nostalgic, romantic, candid about one’s flaws, the acknowledgment of a painful, complicated relationship. The change from “you’re the only motherfucker in this city who can stand me” to “you’re the only motherfucker in the city who’d forgive me” gets me every time.