#a comic about a dude who chases a fucking hat

[badpage-comics]

[phantomphangphucker]

Phic Phight - Compilation Consideration

For: @princessfanonanona @floralflowerpower @voidgremlinguege @ghostgothgeek @catalystofthesoul @crazydragonady @welcome-tothe-mystery-shack @zomb1e-teeth @conceiteddemon @summerssixecho @skarlettskwrl @faedemon @kiinotasha @ghostboidanny @ave-aria @grubchen0217 @animationadventures @andoms-sience-assholery

Good old fashion jokes, or as the kiddos say ‘memeing’ 🤙🏻🤪 just a little bit… spooky 👻

Amity Park was something of a nightmare town, plagued by the dead and all that.

But seeing as the vast majority of the dead fucks that did said plaguing weren’t exactly… life-threatening so much as potentially life-threatening and/or just kinda annoying, the whole thing very quickly became more of a ‘Not this shit again’ and even comedic. Mocking outsiders for freaking the fuck out was a beloved pastime by all. It also caused some serious memeing and a complete disregard for personal safety; because really? if a giant speaking wasp ain’t gonna off you then what makes anyone think jumping off a rooftop will either?

The adults of the town, at least the more normal ones, really freaked out during the ‘when people with iron deficiency stand up’ trend due to the town's teens using it as an excuse to limply and stiffly fall off of increasingly concerning and dangerous things. Particularly one where someone fell off of an intersection streetlight directly on to a moving cop car. And then someone else went and chucked themselves off of the side of a mountain while on vacation which turned into a whole investigation from the Jasper Canadian police force.

And the existence of meme-centric rapid-fire quick serotonin fix websites didn’t exactly… help. But hey, at least most shit was regular funny shit, right? And stayed in Amity largely.

Like everyone and their mother got a kick out of the vine with the dude being chased by the Box Ghost over the tune of ‘s.o.s please someone help me’. And “WHICH ONE OF YOU FUNKY FREAKS DID THIS!!!” Shouted over top of the Fenton GAV driving by blaring ‘they see me rollin’, they’re hatin, patrollin’” that went locally viral. Course there was the other really popular Fenton one with footage of Jack and Maddie crashing through the school wall over the sound of ‘OPEN UP SHITHEAD! 🤪”. The “I am a box ghost cow: mOoOoOoOoOoOoOo BEWARE” sound was also pretty popular. Honestly, anything with the Fenton parents or the Box Ghost was bound to be a good fun time, generally light-hearted too.

Some of the vines were just frankly normal if you ignored certain things and these ones usually saw more outside of Amity popularity. Like Danny Fenton showing off his probably neurodivergency-influenced doom piles except every single one had some kind of weapon noticeably in it. More than a few shaky videos of the local goth kids dying their hair in public bathroom sinks, though that one caused some mild discourse about how alt folks dyed their hair. Well over a hundred videos of people doing the mouth hat flip trick with ever-increasingly weird hats, they always landed on their heads somehow. One video caught Phantom in the background and the town gossip instantly became that the ghost was using his telekinesis to ‘help everyone along’. And multiple videos of the G.I.W. trying to interrogate people about ghosts only to get the response of ‘I’m alive, you’re a really shitty detective”, because who doesn’t love mocking the government. That was the same reason the one with one dude dressed as a G.I.W. agent in a car with another dude dressed like stereotypical hitchhiker with said fake G.I.W. making the simple yet concerning comment of “yeah what’s the chance of us both being mass murderers” and a very now shocked hitchhiker, went pretty viral; pretty much only Amity Parker’s knew it was referencing the G.I.W.s thing for torture though.

The sheer amount of vines involving employees jumping into the Nasty Burger sink full of water or using the sauce to create explosions were legendary, and no one talks about the plague that was comical ‘sexy’ poses with the duck face in full force or the sexy full body furry grinch, Shrek, and sloth suits trend. Those last ones were pretty weird and really made zero sense to the adult population of even Amity. Which was saying something.

Though weird wasn’t exactly uncommon. There’s a mystery someone who posts nothing but grunge aesthetic hand thirst traps; the occasional ectoplasm burns being the only sign that this person was, in fact, an Amity Parker. The very viral video of the entire Casperhigh cafeteria full of teens screaming singing ‘IM A MATERIAL GURL’ in complete chaos. The Fenton boy was standing on a table. Multiple guys were in dresses. And at least one teacher had their head in their hands and looked to be having a mental breakdown; this teacher was later confirmed to actually be Mr. Lancer who very clearly had been thinking that he was severely underpaid… which wasn’t even wrong in all honesty. The Slomo of someone showing off their hand-made long furby with spider legs over church music was an… interesting one. Everyone knew Sam was responsible for that one considering it was later used in a video to scare the absolute crap out of Pamela Manson; not a soul felt any sympathy for that entitled woman.

Some were just… concerning vaguely:

Like the montage of the football bros fleeing an underaged party in slow-mo with the types of party bros they were, from ‘the one who’s calling coach confessing everything’ to ‘the one who accidentally stabbed themselves’. Which alone was kinda concerning, all things considered, but then someone ‘responded’ with a shaky faraway shot of Fenton running down the street with eleven bottles of liquor in his arms with the text “the one who grabs the stash”. Which was definitely concerning and had more than a few concerned adults talking about it, mostly non-Amity adults though since that went slightly viral and every Amity adult dismissed the Fenton boy's weirdness. Fenton responding himself with the audio “yeah let’s go get drinks because I’m tryna get as wasted as my ✨potential✨”; absolutely did not help any concerns.

The whole saga that Jazz started when she reacted judgmentally to one of Spike dancing along to ‘if you feel depressed and misunderstood, whatcha gonna do? REPRESS IT’ in the tune of the ghost buster theme song. Which of course got Danny to respond by dancing along to ‘when you wanna confront your childhood, are you ready for a breakthrough? NO REPRESS IT’ and then Sam followed suit doing one to ‘I’m too apathetic to book myself therapy’ and Tucker one to ‘I push all my problems down until they go away’ and Val completes it with one to ‘repressing makes me feel nothing’ tune. Course Wes then showed up with ‘one day I’ll explode’ totally ruining the whole thing.

Which leads into all the Danny-specific ones which were ridiculously numerous, occasionally making people question his sleep schedule or if this shit is what he’s dodging out of class for. His very first vine being him nonchalantly saying: “so I got stabbed once and I laughed in the guy's face. He ran away” and looking very smug, was probably a sign of what was to come. Including but not limited to frequent random death/murder jokes like: “what’s the straightest thing you’ve ever done. *Prolonged sigh* I killed a guy” and then wheezing in laughter. To Valerie kissing him muttering, “now I’ll show you how to properly kiss a bottom”. Danny looking slightly scared all the while. To Danny diving face-first into many many things but most notably the one with him stiff as a board diving into a basket of rubber chickens, the squeaking was legitimately horrifying. Some weren’t of Danny but just taken by him, like the candid video of Vlad muttering, “maybe I should start a cult”, to himself before immediately panning to a worried and befuddled-looking Danny Fenton. That one started a town-wide trend of cult-like chants of ‘EAT THE RICH’ being shouted around Mayor Vlad Masters; much to the man’s annoyance. It was also followed up by a shaky vine of Vlad stuffing a flailing Danny into a duffel bag and just WALKING OFF into the sunset. The collection of Danny video bombing people with a bottle of mayonnaise was what finally resulted in Amity fully realising that Danny was actually a whole ass gremlin child. The one with Danny walking out of a flaming bathroom to the sound of “a performance was demanded of me and now I have delivered. ENCORE”, arms out grandly and preening like a peacock; really cemented the gremlin child title though. All his vines of him just FINDING CORPSES and him posing ridiculously next to them got taken down so fast that people couldn’t save or share them, which was honestly for the best because some menace behavior should just not be encouraged.

People also made lots of vines featuring Danny, the kid was fucking weird alright? And honestly? All the ones of crows and blob ghosts just following the kid like a personal army or giving him shit or him siccing them on people, were the least weird.  The shaky one of him leading an army of ecto-wieners followed up by another of him damn near force-feeding Dash a bottle of mustard, were proof of just how weird the vines of Danny-but-not-made-by-Danny were. And that particular vine was followed by tons of food fight ones which inevitably turned into #meattornado vines. Lancer was, once again, in the background of a lot of these looking like he was actively awaiting the sweet release of death.

And of course who could forget all the ghost-centric ones that outsiders almost always wrote off as faked or just really good editing/costume design.  Some were really silly, like Phantom’s little stunt in front of a horde of ghosts singing Eminem’s ‘so you can suck my dick if you don’t like my shit’. And all the ones of people just reacting to the “ghosts aren’t real” comments with slapping the camera back and forth to the beat of Cotten eye joe. And of course the one with thirty people cosplaying different Amity ghosts dancing to the tune of ‘I ain’t afraid of no ghosts’ in the park that probably took way more effort to set up than it was really worth. There were of course tons that were just Phantom, especially when Jack Frost was the popular tumblr sexy man, “Is this Jack Frost?” then, without fail, showing an unsuspecting Phantom, who’d conjure up some ice and cackle after a beat; clearly the ghost wasn’t bothered by the comparison. Some folks did start throwing it around in all seriousness, legitimately theorising that maybe Phantom actually was Jack Frost.  And of course whenever Phantom seemingly discovered a new power that got vined to death, especially since the ghostly teen always sucked at controlling whatever it was. His teleportation was especially funny since he’d just randomly show up in some really random places, like one Vine where Dash had been working on some car and had been trying to show off opening the lid only for Phantom to just poof into there tangled in all the metal bits; scared the crap outta the kid. The town, and Phantom, discovering that he could just teleport Amity or parts of Amity into the ghost zone caused a massive slew of vines of pure chaos with teens shouting, “THIS IS FINE! EVERYTHING IS FINE” with green sky visible in the background and others of Phantom shouting, “OH MY GOD IM SO SORRY😬”. Every single one went locally viral much to the embarrassment of the teen ghost. Meanwhile, the ghost taking a freaking field trip to Jupiter apparently, a lot of what the fuck’s there, and making vines of the cool shit there were more of a worldwide viral thing especially since they weren’t actually debunkable even with people writing them off because Phantom was a freaking ghost and not wearing any kind of spacesuit.

Some actually had ghosts in them that weren’t Phantom. Mainly people shouting “bitch come at me” at random ghosts, but also clips shouting “daddy😩” at those same ghosts. And someone went and convinced Poindexter to ‘act scary’ while the teen flashed a strob light at him in a bid to get out of his detention early; the whole thing did actually look slightly creepy with the teen ghosts monochromatic appearance and did successfully get the human teen out of Mr. CampBell’s detention day, that teacher had a very weak will. A great many of clips of Twenty One Pilots “my name’s blurry face” got placed over basically every single piece of footage of ghosts to ever show their faces in Amity.  The audios were almost always hilarious actually and did see some use outside of Amity, from: “Look at this alt f4’d motherfucker” to “Awww what a cute looking blobby. GOD IS DEAD AND WE KILLED HIM” to the slightly less popular “You’d probably mess up your toast, if ten thousand angry ghosts, lunged at your face”. Even The Box Ghost got one in with the “W-what are you doing in my house?!? I want boxes” audio that got pasted on every video where the Box Ghost was inside literally any building which just turned into when animals got inside people's houses. The “New ghost shows up. Customary two minutes of mourning BECAUSE THEY'RE DEAD and resume chaos” was also weirdly popular even if that one was pretty explicitly Amity.

The one where someone caught a mini female Phantom ‘attempting’ aka trying and failing spectacularly to skateboard in Paris reaching Amity caused an absolute ton of teens to vine their skateboard skills and @‘ing them at Phantom to ‘show his kid because there is no way that is not the ghosts kid’; Phantom was reportedly very touched and even made a vine thanking people followed by many many ones of the girl -who was apparently named Elle- trying out the tricks all over the world. It was outright touching and sweet in everyone’s opinion, even if Phantom apparently having a kid caused some chaos.

On the flip side of adorable comfort vines was that notable time that everyone got really into Aztec death whistles and started scaring the crap outta the ghosts with them… and the cops.

But the one that really scared a ghost good was shot at the beach… where at least thirty people had gathered in the water and just started screaming and slamming their faces into the water. The close-up of Skulker’s horrified face in the sky was meme’d to death immediately. The one with Kwan somehow inside of Walker’s prison looking scared and confused over the tune of  AJR’s ‘hello hello, I’m not where I’m supposed to be’ sacred the Hell out of the town though. Teen abduction was pretty alarming after all; an Instagram photo of the teen throwing up the peace sign with Phantom appeared damn near right after at least. Dash also followed up with “When that pre-workout shake got you feeling like you could fight Walker himself”; clearly mocking Kwan.

Halloween was a Hell of a time too, all the ghosts practically made the vines and memes and silly photos themselves! From shaky videos of ghosts breaking into places just to splatter around ectoplasm for the fuck of it to an absolute ton of different vines of the ghosts messing with the Box Ghosts hatred for all things circular. And Amity of course dealt with this by just joining in and upping the chaos, there was a lot of property damages. Someone even caught a video of Vlad Masters seemingly admiring a clearly blown-up building. There was a hot minute were the newest vines were nothing but ghostly sword fights involving flyswatters while Amity Parker’s screamed “SAVAGE” or “GOT ‘EM” after every hit. This all also lead to the discovery that ghost or ecto-peanut butter was a real thing and that Phantom was an absolute menace when armed with it; aka damn near everyone could to this day tell you that ecto-peanut butter tasted like vaguely burnt chia seeds and mustard due to Phantom basically shoving spoonfuls into every mouth he could while cackling, and yes it was repeatedly caught and turned into vines. It was some very sticky peanut butter.

Not all of them were happy fun times though. Phantom singing, “I’m not quite like them. I have no heart or brain” with a really Freakin’ pretty sunset in the background, or yet another one with Phantom where someone caught the ghost upsettedly wailing “I DIDN’T FEED ON PEOPLES EMOTIONS BEFORE! WHHHHHHYYYYY’ followed up by a lot of Vine clips of folks comforting a crying Phantom including one with a strange purple-cloaked blue-skinned ghost also comforting him; that caused so many rumours especially when it was later followed up by a somewhat silly vine of said cloak-wearing ghost covered in cake batter staring judgmentally at Phantom who was looking awkwardly at his phone saying “apparently I suck at baking comfort cakes and you can only try to remake a cake so many times before your teacher losses all faith in you”. Back on the more depressing note is all the montages of people dressing wounds over the tune of “cause we’re all fighters, and we’ve been so for a long time”. A weird amount of people found Danny’s “Walk into the family portal, it’ll give you ✨superpowers✨“ depressing since everyone and their mom knew about the teens title accident giving him a seriously weird strain of ecto-contamination.

Sometimes they were silly AND sad, like Phantom’s “This is a ghost's guide to dying. DON’T”; people not being too bothered by that one just highlighted how desensitised people were though. Other vine clips highlighted that even more, like the massive collection of different ones of Amity Parker’s going on ‘scary’ amusement park rides and rollercoasters while looking completely bored and/or pretending to sleep. Even one of a guy playing bejewelled while upside down on one. The “Quarantine restrictions lifted” trend, while funny, was also kinda sad since said restrictions were always lifted so fast that they might as well have never been put in place to begin with. They also spawned the very viral, “well folks apparently walking around with ectoplasm in your mouth screaming THE DECONTAMINATION ISNT WORKING isn’t a good idea”, with the Fenton GAV alarm blaring in the background.

But in the end, most were just silly goofy shit that horrified all the adults due to mostly teens doing questionable shit: shotgunning energy drinks, running full force into flaming dumpsters, attempting to swindle ghosts, breaking into G.I.W. vehicles, punching locker doors till they caved in, doing stick n’ poke tattoos. All in good, if reckless, fun; like memeing should be. The town being plagued by the spookies merely intensifying everything.

Phantom flying into a stop sign hard enough to remove it from the ground, transforming into Danny Freaking Fenton, and promptly saying “oop” at seeing whoever was pointing a phone at him, intensified everything so much that it broke the internet for multiple days.

But well, that’s Amity Park for you.

End.

Prompts: Vine Comp Fic: what are the shenanigans the Amity Park Citizens get up to? Danny has a break down after he starts feeding on human emotions. Its halloween time! And the ghosts are acting super rowdy! How will the citizens of amity park deal with this? Danny’s identity is revealed in the dumbest way. Peanut butter. Mr. Lancer doesn’t get paid enough for this. Danny discovers a new power and struggles to reconcile with/master it. Ever since the portal incident, most animals have been incredibly wary around Danny due to his pseudo-undead nature. Except for corvids, which have taken to flocking around him at all hours of the day. Neurodivergency! An unlikely alliance between a ghost and a student forms during detention. People around Amity park begin to notice blobs constantly trailing behind Danny Fenton. Ghosts are naturally drawn to death. When people die in Amity Park, Danny keeps finding the bodies. Danny giving or receiving comfort from Clockwork. Dani Phantom finds a skate park and learns how to use a skateboard Clockwork tries to teach Danny how to bake. As the Zone's newest Ghost King (*on a technicality), Danny inherits Pariah's ability to pull parts of Amity Park into the Ghost Zone, or vice versa. This is a problem, because like all of Danny's powers, there's a learning curve—and he can't quite control this one yet. Danny travels to Jupiter (Or Saturn, or Neptune, or some other extraterrestrial planet). Vlad kidnaps Danny in a phase-proof duffel bag. Optional: Vlad carries the bag with the strap across his torso for extra security because it’s my favorite carrying style. Unhinged/Feral Danny. go buckwild. (if he bites someone while undercaffinated all the better)

[popculturebuffet]

Final Space: And Into The Fire Review or Now with 110% More Homoerotic Telepathy

Welcome  new and old to my first Final Space review! If you’ve never seen the blog before, and given this is the first “new” series i’ve covered as it come out in some time that’s probably quite a few of you, welcome. I’m Jake, I do recaps and reviews of various animated shows and comics, mostly just stuff I want to do, often on comission (5 dollars an episode if theres any episode of the first two seasons of this show or any episode of any other show you’d like tos ee me cover), or for my patreon patreon.com/popculturebuffet. And it is my utmost honor to add this show to my rotating roster of shows I cover as they come out. 

I friggin love Final Space. I was intrigued by it back when TBS released the animatics alongside Close Enough (Wth the two shows ironically finally together on HBO max as of earlier this month), for their doomed block. I heard a lot of good things about season 1.. and let it get away from me, not watching it till Season 2. But both seasons had more than enough to pull me in with intriguging characters, even greater jokes and a truly unique idea for a premise involving giant monsters, an edltrich god and lots of cookies. 

So while it took an extra year given Covid, I’m super friggin pumped to get into season 3 at long last after the hell of a cliffhanger, especially since ironically last night I saw Steven Yeun’s oscar nominated performance in “Minari”. Now i get to watch him play a cat teenager again too.. and in a few days Mark friggin Grayson. It’s a good week to be a fan of his is what i’m saying and a good week in general. 

Previously on Final Space Yo!: Since it’s been a year and while the series provides  a recap , I’m going to be doing these anyway so:

Our heroes finally got all 5 dimensional keys and freed Bolo, and in the process also freed Avacato from Invictus, the horrifying entity controlling final space. Meanwhile Tribore got Sheryl to stop being a selfish prick and she joined the team trying to be a better mother from now on. But freeing Bolo came at a high cost as Nightfall sacrified herself as the sixth key (KVN was natrually both Gary and Bolo’s first choice, but was inllegible. ) So we ended the season with our heroes entering Final Space and Gary reuniting with Quinn.... while Invictus loomed. So over a year later we finally get some answers so join me under the cut for spoilers, recaps, and homoerotic text ahoy. 

Something i’m doing since both the roster keeps changing.. and as I correctly guessed from the trailer, and the general tone of the promos for this season, that everyone won’t be all together all season.. or even in one piece.. i’ll be doing a silver age style roll call to let us know who all we have on the Team Squad for the episode Roll Call: Gary, Quinn, Avacato, Little Cato, Ash, Fox, KVN, HUE, AVA, Sheryl, Bolo, and Tribore

So we pick up right where we left off, Gary tearfully reuniting with Quinn, with Quinn wishing he hadn’t come for her, and Gary being Gary naturally having ignored that, and actually been more determined since that made it forbidden which made it extra tempting and him want to extra do it. God I missed this glorious idiot let me tell you. 

So things are quickly interrupted by invictus, who turns out to be a giant flaming head.. thing... and chases them and the crimson light, which has to start speeding with our heroes tethered to the outside, Quinn holding onto Gary. 

So we get one hell of a thrilling chase as the Crimson Light outspeeds the demon head and runs into two titans, but Bolo shows up to take out one, with Mooncake trying his dimension shattering blast thingy on Invictus.. and naturlaly g ven this is the big bad we need to show off how horrying they are, and it does NOTHING. But Gary catches his little buddy so we’re alright. 

Sheryl also shows off her badass bonafieds by LIGHTFOLDING THROUGH A TITAN... granted she still has some parenting skills to learn as “lightfolding while your son is hanging out the back through an edltrich god” really isn’t a motherly thing to do.. but neither is trying to murder your child several times or blaming him for how shitty your life turned out so ANYTHING is a step up for her. 

But.. it’s not enough. While she does manage to kill ONE the Crimson Light is too badly damaged to go on and we get two tragic deaths in one go... The Team Squad is forced to abandon the Crimson Light.. and AVA is too damaged to Upload into HUE. “I’m Sad” “For who?” “For you.. and for us. “ God damn Tom Kenny is amazing. You don’t need me telling you that, but sometimes you need a reminder. 

So our heroes end up on a desolate mystery world, stranded in final space with no ship, no suplies and no hope. The only thing to do now is survivie and hope they can continue the mission at some point. 

ONE MONTH LATER

Things have not gotten any better, as naturally , our heroes have only found weird cartoon eyed worms that regrow their heads when you bite them off. So while this means unlimited food, it’s also disgusting and Garry hates it. “This may be a head but it tastes like a butt”. Quinn and Tribore are with him and Quinn hasn’t been ready to talk about her experiences trapped in this hellscape and still isn’t but being a good dude, Gary dosen’t push her on it. Though the weird red veiny thing on her arm tells me maybe one of you should speed that up before she explodes or gets cronnenburgy. Just saying. I’ll also say i’m not huge on the one month time skip, as while I feel they probably have a reason for being that specific i’ts a bit TOO long and I question why have that long a period of a jump, not the longest but still long enough for things to happen with nothing changingin that time? Still it’s a minor nitpick in an otherwise fantastic episode so I can let it go, I just don’t get it. 

What we do get is some Gary Corpses dropping and Invictius puppeting them... i’m with gary that is bowel openingly scary. I also do like how despite the FAR more dire circumstances, they still get in the requisite shenanigans this series requires. I’ts not to the network mandated subplot levels where it distracts, but it’s enough to help ease the terror of the situation and isn’t around for situations like the opening where it really SHOULDN’T be. As the series always has when something big happens, the bollocks goes away. Once we’re in between we can get back to literal pissing contests, KVN leading a crowd to their deaths and HUE in a pimp hat like god intended. 

So yeah our heroes have to outrun the horrible horde of Gary’s, though Little Cato catches on something’s wrong as Tribore makes gary cary him as foreshadowing for later and Sends mooncake down to asssit. Our heroes escape.. but a cave in happens.

After the break, Gary wakes up confused with the party now split in two: Gary, Quinn, KVN, Tribore and HUE on one side and Avacato, Ash, Fox, Little Cato and Sheryl on the other. So Gary does the logical thing... and take his shirt off telling Avacato to feel him. 

I mean I didn’t even ship them before this scene but... Gary claims because of their bond he can telepahtically connect with Avacato. That’s normal Gary shenanigans.. except not only does he shrug off his girlfriend asking why they can’t do that.. but it WORKS. We have a scene of the two telepahtically talking in a wheatfield that is so homerotic I guarantee there only wasn’t the Careless Whisper sax because they couldn’t afford it.. or their saving it for later this season. Look sometimes you don’t ship a ship because you just.. dont’ care that strongly one way or another and sometimes you just need an incredibly gay scene to see the light. Same thing happened with Weblena same thing here. 

Fox also says “that was glorious to watch” same man. That was freaking art. So our heroes split up into three plots. As usual for me

Team Gary: So yeah... Triobore’s pregnant. No way to really softball into that. He’s been pregnant this whole time. So we get a stupid and mildly horrifying gross out sequence with Gary having to look Triobore in teh eyes and Quinn having to “uncork him”. Which is code for ... you know what i’m not going to say it. If you’ve seen the episode you know and if not your better off not visualizing it trust me. Point is this whole sequence is dumb and the worst part of the episode by far. And the series CAN do good gross out. While Olan Rodgers regrets it, the pissing contest was one of the funniest scenes of season 2, and managed to make a gross idea on paper actually pretty damn funny. This.. this is just “Haha males giving birth and tribore’s an asshole”. There’s no joke here just a .. plug. .. gah.. the vomit is rising let me tell you. 

We do get something good out of this nightmare, Tribore’s son who hatches as the army of gary’s dig their way in, Quanstranstro, who rapidly ages into a stylsih spanish speaking adult badass. He is fucking awesome and a great addition to the team and the sheer.. oddity of his birth is wonderful even if the actual birthing was not. Then the climax happens so before that. 

Team Avacato:

Avacato and Co come across a sleeping giant robot cyborg .. thingy. Naturally Fox wakes him up. Little Cato remains not suprised. It occelates between panicking over it’s legs being gone and amenisa and is pretty damn funny. It’s voiced by John Dimagio. But it gets serious as we find out nothing has ever made it out of final space, and things.. change the longer there there. And Quinn’s been there several months if not a year. Whuh oh. This part is much better both due to better jokes and plot advancment.. though again Quanstrano is still fucking amazing. 

Team Bolo: Bolo meanwhile returns and fights a titan, and has mooncake help him rather htan join the others, but looses, hitting the planet with his body.. I mean he might not get back up.. but the impact shatters the caverns and causes an explosion. Everyone but Gary, Quinn, KVN and HUE are MIA, as our remaining party find earth floating overhead. 

TO BE CONTINUED> 

Final Thoughts: A decent start to the season. Like I said the whole birthing sequence can die in a fire and reminds me of the terrible comedy subplots adult swim wanted grafted onto two episodes.. but otherwise it’s a tense stark opener that sets up the bleak tone while still keeping the series rediciulous shenanigans in tact. It’s the perfect welcome back after so long. I mean the gay telepathy alone would make it a winner. 

Next Time on This Blog: We dive into a little history with HIsteria. See you at the next rainbow. 

[latveriansnailmail]

Favorite Movies as of 2021

Subject to updating because surely I’ve missed a few. This is not supposed to be a list of meritorious films but rather just a list of movies I genuinely enjoy. It runs from Shakespeare to Bill & Ted with heavy doses of 80s fantasy, superhero schlock, and pretty much anything with Kurt Russell in it. Enjoy.

1- Harvey No contest, my favorite of all time.

2- Big Trouble in Little China It’s always a great joy to introduce a new viewer to this film.

3- Flash Gordon (1980) In which they totally lean into the camp and low budget.

4- The Thing I watch this annually upon the first major snowfall.

5- Titus (Taymor) One winter break Titus would be on one of the movie channels each day when I woke up, so I watched it daily for a month and it didn’t get old.

6- Death to Smoochy “Are you alright?” “I’m a little fucked up in general so it’s hard to gauge.”

7- Blade Runner (The Final Cut) So there’s this dude Deckard and he hunts robots but it turns out HE’S a robot, oh so very clever, little film

8- Tombstone I recently learned that Kurt Russell directed this film in all but name.

9- The Dark Crystal Immersive fantasy, though I’m sure it appears plain, drab, and simple now after the Netflix prequel.

10- Somewhere in Time I’m a romantic, I guess. Thus all the John Carpenter movies.

11- Grosse Pointe Blank So good, I used to think I liked John Cusack.

12- The Producers (musical) You heard me. Wilder and Mostel were great but the musical version had decades to mill over and expand the premise.

13- To Be or Not To Be (Brooks) Surprisingly suspenseful.

14- The 13th Warrior Saw it again recently and it holds up. Horror, only it happens to viking warriors who would rather chop the horror down than run.

15- The Mighty Thor I mean, Black Panther is objectively the best of the lot but subjectively this is my personal favorite superhero flick. I must have seen it a half a dozen times at least.

16- Lost Boys A billion Chinese can’t be wrong.

17- Die Hard A Christmas tradition. As a postman, it’s cathartic for me to watch Christmas get blown up a little before all the hugging and sentiment.

18- The Blues Brothers Deadpan hilarity cut with performances by legends of blues and soul.

19- The Sting The best heist film. It keeps you guessing until the very end and no twist feels arbitrary or leaves a hole.

20- Interview with the Vampire Fun fact, I looked like Pitt’s Louis when I was a young man in the goth scene.

21- Bill and Ted’s Excellent Adventure “Be excellent to each other!” “Party on, dudes!” *air guitar*

22- The Seventh Seal See? This list has its high points.

23- Revolutionary Girl Utena Note: Read the entire manga, watch the entire anime series, and read Adolescence of Utena BEFORE watching this or you’ll be left confused. Dazzled but confused.

24- The Nightmare Before Christmas So good I got the tarot deck.

25- The Last Unicorn It’s still a damn shame they never made that live action remake. Christopher Lee was set to reprise King Haggard.

26- Chasing Amy Honestly changed my life.

27- Excalibur It’s weird though how they’re always in armor. Wedding? Armor. Dinner? Armor. Deathbed? Armor.

28- Ginger Snaps A cut above any other werewolf movie I’ve seen.

29- Top Secret! My sense of humor distilled.

30- Clash of the Titans (Harryhousen) Yeah it’s dry but then there’s the monsters.

31- Monty Python’s the Meaning of Life People are not wearing enough hats.

32- Shadow of the Vampire Nosferatu nearly made this list but it’s hard to pinpoint a definitive cut. Try instead this film about the making of Nosferatu with an actual vampire as the vampire.

33- Vampire Hunter D: Bloodlust Look, we as a culture had the unfortunate experience of Twilight. This is the same premise but actually good.

34- The Last Supper This film challenged and changed me as a young man more so than any other work of art.

35- The Princess Bride The perfect film, but I’ve seen it so much it’s down at 35 now.

36- Blazing Saddles What can I as a white guy say? Just watch the movie.

37- Streets of Fire Always suspicious to me how Final Fight premiered within a year of this movie.

38- Gremlins More Christmas havok. Yum?

39- The Beastmaster Forgotten and underappreciated.

40- Ladyhawke A thing of beauty.

41- Willow C’mon. It’s Willow. I have nothing to justify here.

42- Speed Racer I know you heard it’s bad but hear me out: it is the strongest narrative I’ve ever seen on film and it’s exactly the way you played with your toy cars when you were little.

43- Angelheart You’re supposed to know that de Niro is Lucifer. The rest is mystery and the final reveal set up a trope that’s been done into the ground nowadays.

44- The Hunger More atmosphere than plot, but hey, vampire Bowie!

45- Zoolander My partner’s favorite.

46- Faust (Murnau) You will be shocked to see what was possible to achieve in film in 1926.

47- A Muppet Christmas Carol but a cut that includes the fiance’s song This finishes out my traditional Christmas films.

48- Mary Shelley’s Frankenstein Y’know, I’ve got two Branagh films on here and neither are what you would expect given his catalog. The other one’s Thor for crying out loud.

49- Highlander I noticed in recent editions of Vampire: the Masquerade that it’s still possible in that game to hide a katana in a trenchcoat. This movie is why.

50- The Name of the Rose One of only a few instances where I prefer the film to the book. That book loooooong.

51- Robocop (1987) Of all the damn science fiction, why must we be in Robocop?

52- The Prophecy Now we’re getting into films I demoted since the last time I updated this list. This film’s a slow burn unless you get turned up for angels and Christopher Walken like I do.

53- The Warriors Would be higher if the opening wasn’t so slow.

54- Legend Tim Curry kills it as Darkness.

55- Black Panther Objectively the best superhero movie and the Academy backs me on that one.

56- Wonder Woman I do wish they’d trot out Vandal Savage as a Wonder Woman villain.

57- Captain America: The Winter Soldier Just rewatched this one earlier! It is heavily marked by the height of the War on Terror.

58- Blade The ancestor of all modern superhero movies and a solid vampire flick to boot.

59- Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles Nostalgic for me? Maybe, but I hold that this is the first comic film worth a damn because they stuck with the comics when they wrote it.

60- Captain America: the First Avenger This movie is a real test of character. If someone doesn’t like Cap it’s because they think goodness is unrealistic.

61- Four Rooms Really just rooms 3 and 4.

62- Reservoir Dogs Hey, two Tim Roth films in a row!

63- Event Horizon Do you see?

64- What Dreams May Come Kind of an emotional ringer, especially after William’s death.

65- Monty Python and the Holy Grail Have I watched it into the ground? Yes. Is it still hilarious? Yes, and it gets funnier the more you study Arthurian myth.

66- Pulp Fiction I’m kinda over this now.

67- The Crow People who liked the comic passionately disagree with me but I still like this one.

68- Akira Still.

69- Ghost in the Shell Still, though the farther you get from 13 the less titties you need in your art.

70- Beetlejuice Why not? Let's just tack this on there.

Honorable Mentions:

Fight Club A suburb film but one I grew out of, as should everyone. If you meet a man who’s passionate about Fight Club, run!

American Psycho Ditto. I grew out of this but it’s still excellent.

What’s Eating Gilbert Grape A horrible caricature of my brother’s life. I don’t get along with my brother any more.

Rocky Horror Picture Show Not actually a good film if you watch it straight with no commentary. Still, it’s a cornerstone of queer culture.

Guardians of the Galaxy vol. 2 Of all the superhero films, this is the one that resonated with me the most. I was in a weird place at the time. It still resonates with me now because I’m a foster dad.

[a-septic-mind]

NSIDE CHAPTER TWO

Neglect

To leave undone or unattended to, especially through carelessness

April 2017- LATER THAT SAME DAY

“Three...two...one…* clap *

“ TOP OF THE MORNING TO YA LADDIES MY NAME IS JACKSEPTICEYE and welcome to a little game called Infinity Inc!”

Chase looked up from his phone as Jack’s intro rang through the Hub like it had been played on a loudspeaker. Marvin was at the “controls”, watching through Jack’s eyes as he usually did when they recorded. The doctor had moved away to a desk that he had manifested on the other side of the room, and was typing away on a computer, muttering to himself. Chase noted that he seemed to do that a lot.

Stretching, Chase got up off the couch and walked up behind Marvin. Jack was playing one of those pixelated side-scroller games- this one involving cloning or something like that.

“HEADS UP!”

Chase and Marvin whirled around just in time to see Jackieboy come barreling into the Hub from his room. His hood was down and it was one of those rare occurrences where Chase realized he wasn’t wearing his mask. Probably because it was currently being held in the tail of a small green eyeball that made a circle around the room and stopped in the middle, wiggling it’s tiny body playfully.

“Sam, give it back !” Jackie tried to say sternly, but it was ruined by a laugh. Sam scrunched up, not unlike a cat about to pounce and waved the mask in Jackie’s direction. Chase snorted.

“You little-! Comere!” Jackie lunged at Sam.

His hand barely missed the little septiceye, but his momentum carried him a little too far and he tripped over himself and landed facedown on the floor with a comical splat! Chase doubled over laughing as Sam landed contentedly on top of Jackie’s hair, pleased that he had won.

Jackie propped himself up on one arm, shooting a good-natured glare at Chase. “Haha very funny.” He commented dryly. He held out his hand and looked up at Sam. “Can I have that back please?”

Sam made a noise that sounded suspiciously like a giggle and dropped the stolen mask into the superego’s waiting hand. Jackie stood and pulled the mask back down over his eyes as Sam flew over to Chase. Chase held up a fist and Sam bumped into it in greeting.

“Nice one, little dude.” Chase laughed. Sam squeaked in response before making himself comfortable on the brim of Chase’s hat. Marvin glanced back and smirked as Jackie came up next to him.

“Bested by the evil septiceye once again.” He teased. Jackie shoved him playfully.

The three of them settled into a row and continued to watch Jack play. For a few seconds, everything was quiet except for the sound of Jack’s commentary- which of course wasn’t quiet at all- until Scheeplestein straightened up at the desk.

“Chase.” He said urgently. “Come here for a moment.”

Marvin raised an eyebrow and leaned over. “What did you do this time?” he whispered.

Chase sighed. “Who the fuck knows.” He muttered back before turning and walking towards the desk. “Sup Doc?”

Schneeplestein studied him for a moment, which as usual made Chase fidget a bit. Sam slid down off his hat and perched on his shoulder, returning the doctor's stare.

Schneeplestein finally relented. “I realized something today when I vas going over ze brain activity records for zis past week.” He waved his hand absently at the computer screen, which showed graphs and charts that Chase couldn’t begin to comprehend. “You haven’t manifested yet have you?”

“Oh…” Chase shoved his hands into his pockets. “Uh no, I guess I haven’t.”

Schneeplestein muttered something in German that sounded an awful lot like a curse. “I thought so.” He said, rubbing his temples. “Zis is not good.”

“We drank the last pot of coffee not good or last Halloween not good?” Chase joked. His smirk died however when Schneeplestein shot him a withering glare.

“Young man zis is serious. Manifestation is one of the key abilities you must learn if you’re going to be part of this subconscious. If you can’t make a physical form in the real world then you give up all possibilities of being able to take control should Sean need you to.”

“Right,” Chase muttered. “That’s important.”

“Incredibly important, I can’t believe we let you go this long without-” The doctor exhaled deeply before managing a tight-lipped smile. “It’s mostly my fault, so I will be teaching you.”

Chase felt his stomach sink. Schneeplestein had always been impatient with most everyone- he had recognized that the moment they’d met. He especially didn’t seem to appreciate Chase’s sense of humor. He couldn’t imagine any sort of scenario where this ended well, but he grinned anyway.

“Sounds great Doc. When do we start?”

—————

Jack, a moment, please.

Jack leaned back in his chair to stretch, mentally acknowledging the voice in the back of his mind. Adjusting his headphones, he continued to fiddle with the thumbnail he was making.

Yeah, Doc?

I wanted to let you know that I will be teaching Chase to manifest. I needed to confirm that you are alone this evening?

Jack snorted. Not the best way you could’ve put that Schneep.

You know vat I meant.

Yeah Doc, it’s just me tonight. And my lovely date Photoshop.

Excellent. Let me know if it starts becoming too much of a strain.

Will do. Good luck Chase.

There was a slight pressure in the back of his head as Chase acknowledged him- the mental equivalent of someone giving a thumbs up.

“Now Chase, ve will go step by step.” Schneeplestein began, turning to the younger ego. “Manifestation is relatively simple once you have mastered the steps, but you must be careful not to drain too much energy from Jack. Do you understand?”

Chase fixed his cap lower on his head. “Got it Doc. What’s first?”

“First you must tap into the core,” Schneep explained. “Your shard has an aura of sorts. You must connect zat aura with the aura of the core. Like plugging in a computer, zis will give you the strength needed to make a physical form.”

Chase frowned in thought as he tried to imagine what the doctor was saying.  “So what I just….feel around?” He chuckled at his own joke. “Heh, get it? Feel-”

“Yes, yes I get it.” Schneeplestein cut him off. “While that’s not ze most elegant vay you could’ve put it, that’s mostly correct. Imagine your shard is like a magnet, let it point you towards the core.”

“Magnet...got it.” Chase closed his eyes. Concentrating hard, he focused in on the grey sliver that was his shard.

For a moment, it sat still, but Chase gave it a mental push and it suddenly spun on its axis. He felt a fluttering sensation in his chest as it searched- which was quickly replaced with a tugging feeling that nearly jerked him off his feet.

“Shit-!” Chase opened his eyes and stumbled. Schneeplestein caught his arm and straightened him again.

“What is that?” Chase gasped.

That’s me, Chase. Jack reassured him. Nice work. Chase grinned as Schneeplestein nodded.

“Vell done.” the doctor said. “Now, zat you have ze connection, you must use it to pull yourself into the physical world.”

Chase’s smile fell a little. “You make it sound so easy Doc.”

Schneep narrowed his eyes. “It vill be easy, once you’ve practiced enough. Now, maintaining a physical form is easy, creating one is ze hard part. Everyone has their own ways of helping themselves form but my first suggestion would perhaps be a running start.”

“You’re kidding.”

“Not at all. The barrier between ze mind and ze real world is simply a doorway that you must pass through.” Schneep moved aside and put his hands behind his back. “You may start ven you’re ready.”

Chase tilted his head. “I don’t even get a demonstration?” He chided.

“I believe in hands-on learning.”

Chase rolled his eyes but didn’t argue any further. Taking a deep breath, he backed up a few steps and then sprinted towards the other end of the Hub. His shard spun like a top in his chest as he felt the air shift around him.

Suddenly, the shard stopped spinning and the tugging force pulled away from him like a rubber band snapping back on itself.  Chase yelped as he felt an invisible force hit him in the gut. Doubling over, he dropped to his knees in pain and the connection was severed.

Schneeplestein shook his head. “No no no.” he chided striding up to Chase. “You need to maintain the bond with the core.”

Chase huffed. “I thought I did .”

“Vell obviously not.” Schneeplestein grabbed his arm and pulled him back up. “Again. And this time don’t let go.”

Chase sighed. It was going to be a long night.

—————

Chase was frustrated. He and Schneeplestein had been at the manifestation lesson for hours. Days? He didn’t know anymore. All he knew was that he was tired and Schneeplestein was starting to get on his last nerve .

“Again.” The doctor said after what seemed like his millionth failed attempt. “You need to concentrate Chase.”

Chase huffed. “I’m trying .” He snapped.

“Vell try harder .”

Chase gritted his teeth and bit back a retort. Not worth it. He told himself.

Still, he really wanted to wipe that condescending glare of Schneep’s face.

He could easily connect with Jack’s shard now. It was the actual manifestation part that just wasn’t happening. Jack, for all it was worth, had been extremely patient throughout.

Chase connected again and this time backed up completely so that he was pressed against the farthest wall. Schneeplestein simply stared at him as he pulled his hat down.

Concentrate Chase. He told himself.

Three...

Two...

One...

Go!

And he took off.

He nearly made it all the way to the far end of the Hub before the connection snapped again. This time, it was like he had smacked into a concrete wall. A strong force hit him hard, making him stumble backward and land hard on his back.

“Fuck it!” Chase groaned as Schneep came up behind him. The doctor was frowning, but his face revealed nothing.

“Again.” He said, grabbing Chase’s arm to pull him up. Chase shoved him away.

“Forget it Doc, I’m done.”

Schneep pressed his lips together. “Chase zis is not one of your silly trick shots, zis is a skill that you-”

“I don’t fucking care Schneep! I said I’m done!”

A silence stretched between them as Chase glared at the ground. When he finally looked up, the doctor was staring hard enough that Chase was sure he was going to burn a hole in the floor.

“Fine,” Schneeplestein said, rubbing his temples and turning away. “Just go.”

Gritting his teeth, Chase got to his feet as the doctor stalked off. Digging into his pocket, he fumbled angrily for his phone and earbuds as he headed for his room. He didn’t even look up until he ran headfirst into someone else.

“Hey now!” Jackie laughed and steadied the younger Ego as he stumbled. “Where’s the fire Loser?”

Chase shrugged, not acknowledging the nickname. “Doc said we were done for the day,” he muttered.

Jackie raised an eyebrow. Chase shook his head and pushed past him. “It’s nothing man,” he insisted, putting in his earbuds, “just Henrik being Henrik.”

He opened the door to his room and flicked on the light. He would be the first to admit that he might have gone overboard when Jackie and Marvin showed him how to create his own headspace, but he was proud of the results. Everything from the skateboards mounted on the far wall to the unmade queen-sized bed was his and his alone. He couldn’t say that about many things.

Pulling off his cap, he ruffled his hair and threw himself on the double bed, rousing a sleeping Sam who had been curled up on one of the pillows. Chase stared at the ceiling, letting his legs hang off the side. He was so fucking tired- he wanted to blink out of existence for a few days.

“Chase.”

He looked up. Jackie was standing in the doorway with his arms crossed, staring at him. Chase groaned and flopped back down.

“Am I gonna get a lecture from you too?” he snapped. “I get it, I need to learn. He doesn’t have to be a dick about it.”

Jackie snorted and put down his hood before walking over to sit down on the edge of the bed. “Schneep isn’t the best teacher,” he began, “but he’s had more practice, so he knows what he’s doing.”

Chase gave a sarcastic thumbs-up while staring at the ceiling. “Awesome. Ten out of ten. That makes everything better.”

“Look, as bad as it sounds, I’m actually glad he's teaching you.”

Chase lifted his head to stare at him. “ Why? ”

“Because that means things are getting back to normal.”

Chase pressed his lips together in frustration. Of course, no matter what was going on it all came back to that. Back to Halloween. He rolled over and pressed his face into the pillows with a huff. He could feel Sam nudging his cheek gently.

“Give it a few weeks,” Jackie promised. “I think moving will be good for all of us. Especially  the doc.”

He stood up as Chase rolled back around. “I’ll leave you alone now.” He smiled before shifting his attention and adding, “don’t let him mope around for too long Sammy.”

Sam gave a mock salute with his tail. Chase snorted. “Thanks, Jackie.”

“Just doing my job.” Jackie winked and struck a heroic pose. “Jackieboy-Man away!”

The superego ran off, making whoosh noises with his mouth. Chase laughed as Sam jumped onto his chest and turned in a circle, bunching up the fabric of his shirt into a bed that he curled up into. Chase absent-mindedly stroked the little mascot as he thought.

He understood why Schneeplestin was worried, everything he remembered about last Halloween was not pleasant in the slightest. Feelings of fear and pain that had lasted for hours.

Still, he couldn’t help but think that everything felt fine now. He didn’t notice any difference in Sean. Schneeplestein was just probably just paranoid even though he admitted that there hadn’t been any problems since March. And even then that had been more of a video hijack done by whatever that thing was.

Jack was healing up just fine.

So really, how bad could it be?

Tag List: @isa-ghost  @mini-hero-rena @immabethehero

[wikipediathefreeencyclopedia]

compilation of my favorite otp prompts 4

tag

Established Relationship AUs [x]

We’ve been celebrating our wedding anniversary on the wrong day for the past nine years AU

just some ‘how they met’ AUs [x]

‘my dad invited me to go on a fishing trip with him and his buddies and I hate water and can’t swim but I don’t wanna crush my dad’s feelings and he said his friend’s son was coming too, so I’m kind of hoping he’s cool’ and ‘I fell into the water and you were the only sober one who was able to save me’

‘we were waiting in line for the FerrisWheel and your friend decided last minuet he didn’t want to ride and backed out, so we got jammed into the same kart together AND THEN the ride got stuck while we were at the top, but you aren’t so bad to be around for two hours…lets go ride more shit together’

'the cops showed up to a party we were at and chased everyone away. You and I happened to run in the opposite direction of all our friends and got lost in some dark and creepy street.’

more au ideas no one asked for [x]

“you’re super short and i’m sorry but it’s really really cute whenever you try to reach that book on the top shelf here lemme help you- oh no don’t be embarrassed, your face is all red and you’re even more adorable now i am going to die” au

“i’m a biker and one day i was biking in your neighborhood while you just happened to be outside watering the plants and since you’re so goddamn cute i accidentally steered into a pole and now you’re giving me first aid (holy shit you’re even cuter up close)” au

“you’re biking through my neighborhood and you ran into a pole so now i’m really concerned and patching you up, oh my gosh you’re really hot even though you have a bloody nose” au

“i’m at a karaoke bar and i’m sober enough to realize that your voice singing my absolute favorite song is the most beautiful thing i’ve ever heard, and you caught me staring and winked at me oh shit” au

“you invited me to your brother’s/sister’s wedding as a plus one bc we’re hella best friends but we end up making out at the afterparty and now everyone thinks we’re fucking so uh,, u wanna go out for a drink sometime? try this whole couple thing out?” au

“my mom/sister/dad/brother/best friend doesn’t know we’re dating but one day he/she/they walked in on us making out and started cheering oh my god this is so embarrassing i’m so sorry” au

“dude why did that siren take on my image to try and seduce you, is there something you wanna tell me” au

“my friends dared me to buy 20 condoms but i didn’t realize that the cute cashier would be working tonight so i avoided eye contact as i piled them onto the counter and please stop laughing so hard, oh my god it’s for a dare okay i’ve never had sex in my life and once you stopped laughing, i swear i fell in love with that sparkle in your eye as you grinned wildly at me and asked me out for a drink” au

Well, this is awkward AUs [x]

“I sneaked in to this huge house party for some free food but you asked me how I knew the host and the first excuse I could think of was that I’m dating their sibling, so basically I just lied to you about going out with you” au

post breakup AUs [x]

“today was the first family gathering i’ve been to since we broke up and my little cousin that absolutely adored you asked where you were and i had to lock myself in the bathroom and sit in the tub for a half an hour and look through a folder on my phone of pictures i took of you to feel okay again” AU

“i still have your phone number memorized even though i haven’t called you since we split and somehow i remembered it even though i’ve had like six shots of bourbon and hey, i know you’re pissed that you’re here at this dingy club at 3 in the morning to pick my drunk ass up, but you have to admit that’s pretty impressive” AU

“oh hi, totally didn’t expect to see you here at this one hole in the wall coffee shop literally no one in the entire world besides you knows about. what a coincidence.” AU

“it´s my [insert family relation here]´s wedding and seeing all these happy couples is killing me and all i can think about is how this was almost us” AU (bonus: “i know that it’s two in the morning and i’m dressed really formally and a little (a lot) bit drunk but i couldn’t stop thinking about you after my grandma asked how you were doing also can i come in it’s freezing out here”)

“we have a lot of mutual friends so we see each other more than two broken up people usually do and i know we’re not really close anymore but you’re wearing that stupid (adorable) hat you always wore when you were upset so tell me what’s wrong because it’s literally killing me to see you look so sad” AU

“i found your box of letters underneath my bed last night and because i’m a nosy motherfucker i decided to read them and it turns out they were all addressed to me and the last one was dated the day you moved out and i’m not quite sure why i thought this would be a good idea but here i am, standing on your doorstep, wondering why the fuck we’re not together anymore” AU

otp fic prompts [x]

i had the weirdest dream about you and now i can’t stop imagining what you’d look like naked

you’re at the cinema alone and so am i we might as well sit together and i swear i didn’t think there was anyone else in this universe who appreciates this movie like i do 

i hooked up with you at my sister’s wedding 5 years ago and now i’ve gotta track you down because i can’t stop thinking about you

we watched the fireworks together on new year’s eve even though you’re a complete stranger like i didn’t even get your name ??

OTP Prompts - Post Break-up [x]

“I’m still in love with you, and I probably always will be, but I thought you wanted to break up, so I broke up with you. Now, it’s a year later, and you’re telling me you were about to propose?”

“I never told my extended family that we broke up, and now they want to know when you’re coming over for dinner again.”

“I didn’t mean to tell you I still loved you, but now we’re standing here awkwardly, and I should probably just go.”

“I thought you broke up with me, so I haven’t spoken to you in a year, but apparently there was a serious miscommunication, because you thought I broke up with you. Well, this is as good a time as any to tell you I still love you.”

things to imagine with your otp [x]

one of them falls in love first before the other and has to try and be super chill and casual around them but oh fuck they just brushed hands

one of them by themselves but throughout the day they see little things that remind them of the other and they just randomly start smiling

trying to make a gift or do something special for the other but getting super embarrassed when giving it to them so they just leave it on a table and run away

star-gazing, flower festivals and making out behind dingy diners on a road trip

SOME WEIRD STUFF I NEED TO LIVE [x]

you work at the shitty overpriced coffee shop that only gets business because it’s nearest the university and I hate the coffee and get tea every time because at least you know how to make a good raspberry tea but I come in at odd hours and you always look exhausted, oh no you just fell to the ground crying about how you were supposed to open a gourmet cupcake shop, are you okay????

Aus I need [x]

I tried asking this person on the street for directions, but before they could even answer you pointed down the street and told me where to go. Turns out you were heading that way too and we end up walking together awkwardly for a bit. 

We’re in a huge crowd to watch fireworks/a show, and there’s no more room on the lawn except right next to you and your blanket. I forgot to bring one, and you invite me to share yours with you.

I’m making balloon animals for children at this farmer’s market/fair, and you come up with a friend who asks for a kitty. You are enamored with the motorcycle I was making just for fun, and I can’t help being charmed by your enthusiasm and give it to you for free. 

AUs to consider [x]

“i don’t want to go alone to my ex’s wedding and our mutual friend said you’re free that night” au

(could combine/mix it with this amazing comic)

“you accidentally left your ID in a library book” au

“i’ve never met you before but i went to a huge party at your house with my significant other - who then proceeded to dump me” au

Imagine your OTP [x]

Person A comforting person B through a stormy night

Helping each other in certain subjects for school.

[thebibliomancer]

50 More Days of Comics! 44/50: Countdown #39 (2007)

What is there left to say about Countdown that hasn’t already been said? 51 issues of eight plotlines that barely went anywhere and then were summarily ignored by the event they were supposedly counting down to? At a cover price of $2.99 that’s over $150 of nothing plus tie-ins and spinoffs needed to understand all this nothing that didn’t amount to anything. And even if it were a self-contained story it would have been a bad one full of gratuitous deaths, character derailment, and shaggy dogs galore.

Unrelated but Marvel had their own countdown recentlyish called Infinity Countdown. I’ve been enjoying it but its kind of funny how both serieses have a moment where a cosmically empowered horn saves the day.

ANYWAY.

Of the plot threads, this particular issue covers about six of them. Three of them get only two pages to tiptoe forward. And they’re all intercut with each other. I’m going to jam all the plot from thread into the same stretch for my convenience. What an untwisted skein.

First we have the Karate Kid and Triplicate Girl plot at seven page. Karate Kid has been kicked out of the future because he has a deadly disease and Triplicate Girl is with him because she loves him. Apparently Starman told them that Oracle might be able to help them and instead of setting up an appointment, they decide to break in.

Karate Kid kicks down a wall when they get to a dead end revealing a giant screen with Oracle’s web avatar on it. Also, I love Karate Kid on a conceptual level. He’s a kid who is really good at karate. The one rule of the Legion of Super-Heroes is that you need to have one non-suck power and they let this guy in who knows karate but really good. There are actual people with mostly decent powers that the Legion have told to screw off like Night Girl and they let Karate Kid in. Its pretty amazing.

Oracle: “Did all the expensive keep-you-out hardware not clue you in? I WANT TO BE LEFT ALONE!”

Also, this is in Metropolis. Not sure why a Batfamily character is in Metropolis but she does telecommute so.

Anyway, the only reasonable response to a break-in is tentacles. Maybe Oracle has spent too much time on the internet. She tells them to set up an appointment and gtfo. She’s busy.

Karate Kid karates through the tentacles and saves Triplicate Girl who hadn’t done a thing to help herself. Then he karates through the screen which apparently hid a passageway to Oracle’s real location. Not the best security setup.

But when they find her, she still refuses to help.

Oracle: “I’m keeping the secret identities and home addresses of every superhero in the world from being stolen. Think maybe that’s a little bit important?”

Oracle… Barbara… why did you even have all that information in your systems? You have a computer brain with perfect recall. D-don’t you remember what happened when Batman kept the secret weaknesses of all the Justice League in his computers? They were inevitably stolen and used for evil? COMPUTERS AREN’T SAFE!

She also later fails at keeping the Anti-Life Equation from being emailed to literally everyone so maybe she’s just not great at her job that she’s really good at.

Next, we have Pied Piper and Trickster with eight pages. They are on the run on suspicion of killing Barry Allen and have taken up refuge with the Penguin. He then immediately sells them out to the Suicide Squad. Like immediately. He only asks that they not damage his wine cellar.

Of course the Suicide Squad are professionals and yeah no. They chase them through the actual Iceberg Lounge restaurant smashing things and blowing up stuff. Captain Boomerang manages to konk Trickster out with a boomerang to the back of the noggin but Piper just slings him over shoulder and still manages to get away. Damn the Suicide Squad suck!

Trickster also sucks because upon regaining consciousness he immediately accuses Piper of feeling him up while he was out.

The two fugitives manage to shake the Loser Squad thanks to Piper pipering some music which makes them invisible. He can do that. But then the two are cornered by the Question and Batwoman. And Renee Montoya apparently loves punning on her name now.

The Question: “Before you start running, guys, you should ask yourselves the question… would I really have come after you alone?”

Then two pages of Donna Troy and Jason Todd and also Ryan Choi and Bob the Monitor’s fun multiverse questravangza to find Ray Palmer to prevent a Great Disaster. Apparently you can’t look at the space between spaces because it would drive you mad.

The group arrives in non-euclidean space with Bob feeling like they’re being watched.

And that’s it. Can’t move a plot ahead much in two pages.

Next is another two page plot increment with Jimmy Olsen. Jimmy has mysteriously gotten a bunch of his silver age powers and decided that he should become a superhero. This tracks as far as Jimmy Olsen’s thought process is likely to go. He puts together a Mr. Action outfit that wouldn’t be bad for the Silver Age and looks awfully earnest now and goes to fight crime.

He easily stops a purse snatcher and even gets a smooch from the girl who calls him adorable.

Since everything is going so well, Jimmy is thinking that obviously he’d be a huge asset to any team and starts wondering what team would be best for him, dismissing the Outsiders as too angsty and eventually settling on the Teen Titans.

Meanwhile while he ponders, the purse snatcher gets up and sneaks away.

Womp womp womp.

For two pages this one actually felt like it moved something somewhere somewhy. Probably because it was one dude and this small event is going to serve as a motivating factor for him.

There’s also two pages of Holly Robinson, Catwoman’s girlfriend. She has joined one of Athena’s woman shelters but feels something is off. She asks about the shelter turning away a mother and her child but Athena just bemoans that her resources are limited and then signs Holly up for a self-esteem workshop. Which seems a non-sequitur but its all an evil scheme anyway.

Finally there are four pages of the Monitors arguing amongst themselves about stuff I don’t understand or care about. None of these dicks are labelled and I can’t really tell them apart. They’re arguing that people shouldn’t travel between universes but I don’t really grasp the argument, just that one dude really wants to kill people that do cross realities and the other is like ‘should we do something?’ Anyway, fuck Nix Uotan. For no particular reason. I just harbor intense animosity towards his stupid hat.

[softgrungeprophet]

kay i read the horny venom comic and it wasn’t like amazing but it was alright! i mostly enjoyed it for what it was, which, when it comes to venom comics is like, high praise lmfao

the main thing that seemed to stick out to me was the dialogue. goodness eddie, wash that mouth out with soap--but eddie’s speech patterns have varied wildly in the past 20 years so like, i don’t really mind that much even if i personally prefer an eddie who’s a little more... verbose. also like, when i first wrote a few venom fics, when i’d read a feeewww comics and seen the movie, i wrote him with a pretty similar way of speaking so eh. took me like 6 months and a decade’s worth of comics to reach the voice i give him now.

it felt like the comic was originally longer and then she presumably pared it down to the most important parts... i say this because it felt like the dialogue didn’t really flow into itself between pages. like each page was a new conversation, almost. that’s not... necessarily bad? it had an odd, disjointed quality but also like... that kinda works. it’s a weird little comic with kinda weird dialogue. and anyway like, ngl, when i write comics (and then never ever draw them), i also tend to write really weird, sparse dialogue myself, with basically no narration ever, so.... same/similar hat, ms. williams.

symby had good tone, said some good stuff, tho there were some weird “we”s in there but that’s also not particularly new or surprising. seems like a lot of authors never quite know how to juggle we vs. i, even costa who overall had a fairly consistent (if extremely simplified) grammar for the symbiote, broke those rules sometimes. But she gave the symbiote a consistent and distinct voice for her own style, which is more than i can say for donny tbh

That very large panel full of a bunch of venomized monsters (and t-rexes dfhjfg) making out? EXTREMELY inspired. “we can’t show them fucking but we CAN show them licking each other’s tongues, go nuts”

symbiote immediately waking eddie up when he gets legit frightened? also good. interesting that the scene that made him panic involved being chased down. i think that actually ties into some of eddie’s issues with consent in a way that was maybe not intentional (but who knows)

also the peephole.... him being like, heck no!!!! like... yep that sounds about right.

also the panel of the symbiote talking about eddie’s strong heartbeat, i liked that.

and i liked that the noodle came out of his shoulder in the mirror to look at him when he woke up... like... hey it’s me, your blob, don’t worry

definitely not actually 80s but i already figured that from the previews.

i don’t think eddie is actually all that afraid of monsters but.... that’s not exactly a dealbreaker, and headcanons or reads like that can get tricky/muddled from all the canon anyway. it did seem like his fear was a little less about the monsters and viscera and more about .... like... like i said, the being chased and consent stuff.

also the art like... i don’t hate, it’s fine and the dreamscape stuff is good, but it’s not really my fave. idk if it’s the colors or what but it has a weirdly..... squishy quality that i’ve seen in some other comics as well... dude can draw good venoms, for sure, but everyone and their mom knows i like my eddies with a big nose and bigger eyebrows so unsurprisingly i was not particularly into how he was drawn XD

(also brunette but that’s just for my own fanart)

(also hairy but hairy eddie seems to be a relic of the past... he’s been smooth since at least the 90s Unfortunately. i guess marvel decided to go from “every single dude is a shag rug” to “every single dude waxes”)

ANYWAY

overall

it was alright, i enjoyed it, nice to read something short or standalone, still wondering if maybe i did miss a page or something but i don’t think so? i don’t have a way to actually know so, shrug

[sam-lives-story]

#SamLives - Chapter 12

“...With Some Unexpected Additions”

[Previous|Next]

Also find the latest chapters of this story on [Archive Of Our Own]

Jack gasped sharply and gritted his teeth, snarling and tugging against the green strings, fighting for his freedom. He had to get out. He had to save Sam, had to help Mark. But there was something...odd about the strings. With each tug against his restraints, Jack felt a little more of the fight leaving him, his will to rebel slowly draining away. His head was pounding, his throat was sore, and his shoulder was throbbing with pain...so...so wouldn’t it…

...wouldn’t it be easier to just give in?

The Nerf gun fell from his hands, tumbling to the floor with a clatter of plastic and a muffled thump against the carpet.

“ No͊w be̺ a̦ go͟õd̏ li᷅t̏t᷁l͋e᷊ pup̝p͟ét, an̂d̯ ğo᷊ t̥õ s͕le̗e̥ṗ. ”Yeah...yeah, sleep sounded so wonderful right now. Jack slowly let his eyes drifted shut.

Click .

“You let ‘im go right this fucking second, or I blow your fuckin’ brains out, bro.”

Shing .

“I told you scalpels vere good for more zen just surgery!”

“Oh, shut up! Take care of Jack while I deal with the Glitch Bitch.”

“h᷊O̓w̶ d̍A͇r᷈E̖ y̶OͅU͎?!?”

“Don’t even think about moving, man. Try me.”

Whatever hold Anti’s puppet strings had had over him was beginning to dissipate, the cords themselves no longer as tight and restraining as they once were. He could feel them falling away from his body, as though they were no longer attached to the person that had wielded them before. Jack staggered, groaning, and he felt a pair of hands lightly grip his arms to stop him from falling over.

“Easy Jack, easy,” a voice cropped up from right in front of him, a foreign accent adding an odd flavor to the words. “Slow down. Zose strings can really affect ze mind, even if used for mere moments. Take it from me. I vent through it once und it vasn’t a fun time…”

Jack dragged his eyes open, fighting back toward some semblance of control - and his eyes widened almost comically, a startled noise escaping him.

He was staring at himself. Or, more accurately, a version of himself. The glasses, the smirk, the concerned eyes, the familiar white coat.

“Sch-Schneep?!” Jack stammered. He felt as though he might just topple over from the shock of everything after all.

Jack’s eyes flicked upward, past the Good Doctor’s shoulder, to seek out Anti - and what he saw drew a sharp gasp past his lips.

Chase Brody, the trickshot master himself, was going head-to-head against the glitch demon, Nerf gun drawn and determination in his gaze. Anti was glaring at him with all the rage of hell burning in his eyes, and as Jack watched, he drew back his knife with the intent of landing a quick, painful attack on his taunter. Chase just shrugged and sighed.

“I warned you not to move, dude.”

Chase pulled the trigger, his gun still aimed at Anti’s head.

But it wasn’t a normal foam disc that left the gun’s chamber. It looked the same, at a glance, but there was something more to it - because instead of bouncing harmlessly off of Anti’s chest like Jack’s had, the disc collided with Anti’s skull and sent his image scattering into thousands of glitching pixels in a burst of bright, Nerf-green light. Anti staggered back, his image reforming, and when he did a deep, fury-laced scowl had set in across his features.

Oh, Chase had pissed off the wrong demon.

Anti snarled and dashed forward with his knife at the ready, but Chase had been expecting it. He dove right, rolling with practiced ease over the coffee table and landing in a crouch on the other side. He aimed again - had he even reloaded? When had he reloaded? Did he even need to? - and shot twice, hitting Anti’s shoulder and leg in turn. Both collision points exploded into static-filled distortions like Anti’s head had before, reforming just as quickly and with just as little effect as the first shot.

But it was still slowing him down. It was holding him back. It was hurting him, in a way, and Jack’s jaw dropped.

Holy. Fucking. Shit.

“Jack!” Henrik snapped his fingers in front of Jack’s face, drawing his attention. “Vhere is Sam?”

“Sam–?” Jack mouthed the name, his thoughts still horribly fuzzy from whatever the hell Anti’s strings had done to him. He screwed his eyes shut and shook his head, trying to clear his mind of cobwebs. Sam...Sam?

Sam!

“A box!” Jack’s eyes snapped open and he pointed across the room, both his and Henrik’s gazes following his finger. “Jewelry box. Anti locked him inside.”

“Scheisse!” Henrik swore under his breath and ran across the room toward the box, his coat fanning out behind him while he left Jack to clutch at the nearby bookshelf for support. His legs felt shaky, his head still buzzing. Fucking hell…

The room around him was nothing but chaos, too much noise and movement for him to fully comprehend all of it. He caught bits and pieces, his eyes darting between Chase and Anti’s rapidly-moving forms, and Henrik who was crouched before the chair in the corner.

Chase did some sort of parkour move off the couch, one foot planting firmly on the cushions and the other pushing off of the wall behind it. He spun in the air, diving over Anti’s swiping knife and barely avoiding getting slashed in the side.

Almost.

Chase hissed and tumbled across the living room floor in a sloppy version of what looked like a practiced roll, teeth gritted in pain and his free hand clutching at his thigh.

“Shit! Fuck!” Chase hissed, pounding once against the floor with the fist still clutching his Nerf gun. He shot a glare at Anti from beneath the brim of his hat, snarling in response to Anti’s shit-eating grin and his glitching giggle. It seemed to spur him into action again, scrambling to his knees and bringing his red-stained hand up to grip his weapon more steadily, aiming again. “Fuckin’ bastard!”

Chase fired, the green shot piercing through Anti’s shoulder and drawing a distorted cry of pain from the demon. Chase smirked.

”Hah!” he taunted, standing up onto slightly unsteady feet and taking a staggered step backwards. “That’ll teach ya not to mess with Chase Brody!”

Anti snarled, clutching at his shoulder as its broken pixels reformed, this time a little slower than before.

"I w̉ou̚ḷḍn̄'̣t̮ b̎e̞ so̠ co᷈cky̓, i̴f̌ I we͛r̵e ỵo͗u͖, de̬a᷊dbeåt̘.”

Even from across the room, Jack could see Chase stiffen at the word. His confidence seemed to wane, the hold on his gun going a little slack, and there was a tightness behind his eyes that Jack recognized. Deadbeat dad. The exact thing Chase never wanted to be, and the one thing - whether it was true or not - that he regretted most.

Was that all it would take for Anti to get to him? One, two words?

Jack watched the man with bated breath. He could see the way Chase’s jaw tensed, the way his nostrils flared and his grip tightened, the way his eyes narrowed...and the way he planted his feet, training his gun back on Anti even as the demon glitched closer and closer, darting forward across the room. No, he wouldn’t be shaken so easily. Chase took two shots straight through the Demon’s chest...but this time Anti was expecting it. Anti was ready. He flickered out of existence just long enough to miss Chase’s discs, grinning wickedly, teeth sharp - but a third unexpected shot hit its mark.

When Chase had pulled the trigger this time, he hadn’t stopped at one or two discs. No. Again and again, unending, his aim shifting with each pull, he rained neon green ammunition down on the ever-approaching monster that seemed hell bent on taking him out for good. Shoulder, leg, chest, head, arm, shoulder–

Anti was hard to see clearly at this point, his image a flurry of exploding and reforming distortions of pixels in the air. He was speaking, shouting, something that Jack couldn’t quite make out through the fuzziness in his head and the level of distortion Anti’s voice had reached.

“Who’s cocky now, huh?!” Chase snapped. This wasn’t the same teasing banter he’d been using before, his tone more serious. “Eat Nerf, glitch bitch!” Anti was only steps away now, so at the very last second Chase dove to the right and landed in a crouch near Jack’s feet. He shot a grin up at Jack - holy shit, it was like looking in a fucking mirror - before glancing past him toward Henrik.

“How’s that box comin’, Doc?”

“Nearly zhere,” Henrik shot back over his shoulder. He pushed his glasses back up the bridge of his nose and smirked. “Anti’s no idiot. Vhatever zis lock is, it vas made to be impossible to pick.”

“Plan B?” Chase asked, refocusing on Anti, who was finally regaining some semblance of solidity. “Or should we just skip all the way to Plan F-This and get the hell out of here?”

Jack had to admit that Anti looked a little worse for wear. He didn’t look any less angry than before, but a light sheen of sweat could be seen at his hairline, and the scar at his neck had begun to bleed. The battle was beginning to take its toll. Even so, Jack couldn’t help but gulp and press himself flush against the bookshelf he’d been using for support, as though he might be able to phase through it and hide between the books and photos and video game memorabilia that was kept there. Chase seemed to notice his distress and stood, planting himself firmly between Jack and Anti with his Nerf gun as their shield.

“Vhat do you take me for, a moron?” Henrik joked, chuckling. “Of course I have a Plan B! Zhere is alvays a loophole to exploit, I know zat better zen anyvone.”

“Well are you gonna tell me the loophole, or would you rather leave me hanging while I’m facing down a murderous computer virus?”

“Oh, quit your vhining,” Henrik muttered. He turned back to the jewelry box, from which Jack could hear quiet squeaks and movement from Sam. Sam was okay. He was just...trapped. “I’m removing ze hinges instead. Just keep him distracted until I can–”

“G̈҉e̦͍᷁Ť o̭Ȗt̙ o̵̹̦F͔ m̵͕Y ͘͜wA̷̵y᷀!”

Anti had finally managed to reform fully, appearing rather suddenly right in front of Chase. Wide-eyed, gasping sharply, Chase brought his gun up to fire again – but Anti was faster. He grabbed Chase’s wrist and yanked harshly to the side, twisting Chase’s arm roughly and drawing a pained shout from the man.

“E̶no̻u͙gh̫ wi̅t̆h͗ y͜òu̸r pLa̰S̶t̙I̼c͐ t͠Oy̦S͑. Fi᷀r᷊s͖t M̤a̅r̠k̻ip̮l͊ie᷁r̝, th͛ên͖ J̼a̓c̲k͂...a᷊n᷇d́ nͅö́w̔ ẙo͉u . I’m᷇ s͍I̯c̅K oF̈́ i͛T!”

A flurry of confusion crossed Jack’s mind. Mark…? Mark had never used a Nerf gun around Anti. Hell, he hadn’t even met Anti. Had he? But...his musings could wait. Anti wasn’t playing games, not anymore. The Nerf gun clattered the ground, and as Chase grit his teeth, Anti’s mouth twisted into a sick smile.

He had the upper hand now, and he wasn’t about to let it go.

Anti’s grip tightened and he wrenched Chase away from his protective position in front of Jack, sending Chase tumbling across the ground and out of his way. The space between Jack and Anti seemed to vanish in an instant and Jack’s vision was filled with the sharp, angry grin of a dark-eyed demon. A hand - a tight, painful, semi-solid hand - closed around Jack’s throat, and he could have sworn he felt his heart stop as fear flooded his system.

Not again. Not again. Please, not again…

White spots danced in the corner of his vision, blurring the edges of Anti’s face, due in part to fear alone. He knew what Anti was doing, now. Anti didn’t want him dead. He wanted him under his control. He wanted to take over. And if he lost consciousness, if he wasn’t awake to fight against that control, it would be so easy, too easy, for Anti to...to...what? What was the end goal here?

Jack couldn’t even think straight anymore, his thoughts a fuzzy mess of static. He brought a hand up to grip feebly at Anti’s wrist, the other reaching out to push at the glitch’s chest, his actions weak and sluggish. Distant words floated through his mind, so near yet so far away. He couldn’t focus enough to figure out who was saying them, or how real they were.

“Doc, c’mon! Hurry up! He’s not letting me get close enough to–”

“I know, I know! I’m almost zhere, just one more–”

“No, I ẖa͗v̶e m̪ůch... ͛mùch᷆ b᷆i͈g͗g᷄er p̓lan̶s᷉ foͥr᷆ yõu͕, Jaͅc̻k…”

Not enough air, can’t breath, it hurts it hurtsithurtsithurts–

‘Anti you gotta stop! Please!’

Sam’s voice rang through the room, and a blur of green crossed in front of Jack’s vision. The grip around his throat went slack, not leaving completely but giving him enough room to fucking breathe. He gulped down air like it was the sweetest thing he had tasted, and when he refocussed on the scene before him, he saw Sam sitting on Anti’s shoulder. His little eye was full of emotion, pleading quietly with all the adorable sadness of a kicked puppy. And Anti–

..Jack almost couldn’t believe what he was seeing. If he didn’t know any better, he might just go so far as to say there was a softness in the way Anti was looking down at the little eyeball, an odd sort of affection and guilt that couldn’t possibly be real. There was no way.

‘Please don’t do this,’ Sam was saying quietly, a shaking unsteadiness to his word. ‘Don’t hurt Jack. I love him very much and I need him, and he...I don’t like seeing him get hurt. It makes me sad, and I...I don’t wanna lose my D...family. He’s my family. So...so please? Let him go?’

Click .

“Just listen to the kid, man.” Chase had recovered his Nerf gun and was standing in the middle of the room, his aim trained on the back of Anti’s head. “Don’t make him cry.”

“You’re outnumbered.” Henrik this time, standing just off Chase’s shoulder with his scalpel in hand, tightening the blade where it sat in the handle, stern eyes peering over his glasses at the pair. “Zhere are four of us, und only one of you. Zat could change, ze longer you’re here. You’re already vorn out, I can see it...and who knows who else might show up next…?”

Jack could see a vein in Anti’s neck pulsing, his jaw tight and eyes narrowed. For a moment, Jack thought the demon might turn them down, might defy them all and go on with his plan anyway. But then Anti’s eyes fell on Sam again...and something in his expression changed. He snarled and shoved away from the bookshelf, leaving Jack to slouch against it in utter-fucking-relief before glitching away in a flurry of static, electric sparks, and distorted pixels. Sam was left tumbling down from where Anti’s shoulder had been, barely catching himself in the air before hitting the carpet.

“T᷊hi̘s̴ i᷁sn't̠ t̔h͏e l͟a͚s̏t͗ y͚oͅủ'l̙l᷁ s͎e̐e̹ őf̆ m͚e̦.”

With those final words the tension in the room dissipated rather suddenly, and Jack slid down to the floor to sit back against the bookcase and catch his breath. His throat was on fire and he coughed, wincing, trying to swallow in an attempt to sooth the renewed soreness. It didn’t really help.

‘Jack!’

Before Jack knew what was happening, he was bombarded by a tiny green projectile, Sam nuzzling up against his cheek and ‘cuddling’ every part of Jack’s face that he could reach.

“I’m–” Oh, god his throat hurt. Jack winced again and brought up a hand to catch the overactive eyeball, tugging him gently by the tail until he was floating where Jack could see him. He smiled weakly, and this time he let his thoughts speak for him.

‘I’m okay, Sam.’ He smiled softly. ‘I’ll be fine, thanks to you. You saved me, buddy. You’re so, so brave…’

Sam giggled quietly at the compliment, his frantic movements slowing for the moment. Jack could still feel the worry that Sam was feeling, a tiny beacon of distress in the back of his mind...but it wasn’t quite so strong as it had been before. He let Sam go and the little eyeball immediately snuggled up against Jack’s chest where he could feel his guardian’s heartbeat, strong as ever if not a little rapid.

“Not to interrupt zis wunderbar little moment,” Henrik spoke up. “But I believe zhere is somebody else ve should be helping?”

‘Oh, yeah! Where’s Mark and Tim?’

It was as if an electric shock had jolted him as the realization struck.

“Dark!” Jack’s words came out pained, hoarse, wheezy, his voice not all there. He winced and gritted his teeth, struggling to his feet and fighting past the flames in his throat. “Dark... ngh ...h-he’s outside. Mark went...car. The car.”

Chase and Henrik exchanged a look, and Chase nodded.

“I’m on it.”

He was out the door before Jack had even found his footing. Jack made to follow him, more than just a little worried about his best friend, but a hand on his shoulder stopped him where he stood.

“Nein, you’re not going anyvhere,” Henrik scolded, shaking his head. He guided Jack over to the couch, ignoring his protesting gestures and looks, and forced him down onto it. “You’re injured, und I’m not about to let you go running off into anozher fight so quickly. God, you’re just like Jackie…”

Jack opened his mouth to protest, remembered his throat, and thought better of it in favor of flipping off Henrik with all the impudence of a bratty teenager. The good doctor huffed and sat on the coffee table across from Jack, shaking his head.

“Chase can handle himself, Jack. I trust him vith zis. Ja?” He pushed his glasses up his nose and leaned forward toward his patient. “Now...vhere vere you injured…?”

Mark’s head was pounding, his eyes screwed shut and his nails clutching at his scalp so tightly he couldn’t tell if he had broken the skin or not. Images rushed past in his mind’s eye, rapid and flashing and horrifying all at once.

It would be enough to drive anyone mad.

“Have you given up yet?”

Dark’s voice echoed against the inside of his skull, drawing a pained whimper from Mark, who had yet to change positions from when he had curled up in a ball on his knees at the start of it all. It’s not real , he kept reminding himself, even as he saw Amy’s pained, pleading eyes staring back at him from his own imagination. It’s not real, and it will never happen.

It was the only thing holding him together at this point, that and the thought that somewhere inside the apartment, Jack was counting on him, counting on his help. He needed to fight this, fight back.

Think of something happy.

The little idea that popped into his head sounded remarkably like Tim, which wasn’t too much of a surprise really. Tim was a voice of wonderful positivity in his life, a small beacon of cheerfulness that he could always depend on to brighten his day. So to say that his internal positivity was voiced by the little box? It made complete sense.

Think of something happy .

Himself and Amy, going out for ice cream. Ethan and Tyler, the three of them, laughing through their lines in a short film. A take for the blooper reel, clearly. Kathryn’s teasing remarks. Chica, giving him happy puppy kisses. Himself and Jack, laughing over Spaceballs and Sea of Thieves, acting like idiots and loving every second of it.

Kissing Amy goodnight.

It was helping. It wasn’t lightening the pressure by a lot, but holy shit was it helping. Mark felt some semblance of clarity begin to return to his mind, regaining a sense of awareness that had been lost to him in the sudden onslaught of Dark’s mental attack.

Mark lifted his head slightly, trying to locate Tim somewhere against the concrete backdrop the driveway provided. Instead, dark polished shoes came into his view, the ground crunching ever-so-slightly beneath their soles, and Mark stiffened. He saw the man - no, he wasn’t a man, he was a demon - crouch before him, watching him. Watching. Observing.

“Trying to fight back, are you?” That voice again, smooth and deep and haunting and charming all at once. Echoing. Looping. Belittling. “I’m surprised...and here I thought a spineless, self-serving, self-worshiping monster like you, wouldn’t have enough humanity left in him to find any light in such a dark–”

“Sir?”

Another pair of shoes had appeared near Dark, just beyond him, these ones dark grey sneakers. They were neat, crisp, unworn in any way...and Mark had a sinking feeling he knew who this new arrival might be.

“What is it, Google? Can’t you see I’m busy?”

Mark hated being right sometimes.

“Antisepticeye has vacated the premises.”

Mark froze.

“He would like to inform you that issues arose and things did not go according to plan. There were...as he said, “more players on the board” that he had not anticipated. Anti would like to discuss this matter in more detail, but for tonight, he is no longer in need of our assistance.”

A long pause followed the android’s words, and Mark felt both relief and heart-stopping anticipation in that moment. Anti was gone. Jack was okay, probably. But...what did that mean for him? Would Dark leave, just like that? Or–?

“Pity.” The word stopped Mark’s careening train of thought in an instant. “And here I was hoping I’d be able to break our friend Mark here before the night was out. Ah, well...perhaps another time .”

The pressure in his mind vanished in an instant, leaving Mark to gasp sharply and run his hands through his hair with closed eyes. The relief was absolutely monumental. The vice that had been keeping him in constant pain was gone, and all that remained was a throbbing headache that Mark was sure he could alleviate with some Advil. He sat up, slowly, his gaze dragging upward until both Darkiplier and Google were fully in his sights.

It was like going to a wax museum, where all the wax figures were supposed to be you. They all looked pretty damn close, but there was something... off about them, because the weren’t exact copies.

Plus the fact that one of those wax figures was actually an android, and the other made it look like you were staring through red-n-blue 3D glasses, and neither of the wax figures was actually made of wax…

...yeah, okay, maybe Dark had screwed up his head more than he’d first assumed.

“Is it wise to simply leave him behind as he is?”

“What damage could he possibly do?” Dark quirked an eyebrow at the android. “He knew I existed beforehand; it wouldn’t take a genius to assume others have surfaced as well. This changes nothing . Besides...it isn’t as if we can’t find him again after this evening.”

Dark eyes that held a sinister promise locked on Mark’s, and a shiver went down the man’s spine.

“We have eyes everywhere. He can’t hide, not from us.”

Pounding, running footsteps interrupted what Mark was sure would have been a rather chilling closure. (As if Dark’s last statement hadn’t been chilling enough already.) All three heads whipped around to see Jack bolting for the driveway, the Nerf gun Mark had been playing with all week held tight in his grip. With a cocky grin and more determination than Mark thought was fitting for such an action, Jack aimed his weapon at Dark and cocked his head to the side.

“Game over, Edgelord,” he taunted. Something about the way he was acting, the way he was talking , made Mark do a double-take. “Your homeboy Anti just ran off with his tail between his legs. I think it’s high time you did the same.”

Mark squinted at his friend. When the hell had Jack had time to change his clothes…?

“Should I neutralize him, sir?” Google’s eyes had taken on a red hue, the logo on his shirt glowing brighter than before, but Dark held up a hand to stop his colleague.

“That won’t be necessary, Google.” Dark folded his hands behind his back, smirking at Jack and casting a humorous glance toward the toy he was wielding. “As it is, my friend and I were already on our way out. No need for any further casualties. Not this time.”

Jack nodded to Google, not yet lowering his gun.

“Your Brobot seems to think otherwise.”

“Don’t mind him. It’s just in his programming.” Dark cast a sideways look of contempt toward Mark, still kneeling on the ground, and his lip curled in disgust. “Until next time, old friend. ”

Then both Dark and Google vanished into wisps of black and grey smoke, leaving no trace behind, no hint that they had ever been there at all.

“Oh thank fuck ...”

Mark groaned and dragged both hands over his face, rubbing the worry lines away and trying to massage his headache into non-existence. He heard footsteps approaching him, but they didn’t quite reach him. Instead he heard Jack veer a little to the left and stop there, an odd sound of plastic-on-plastic reaching his ears. When he let his hands fall into his lap and opened his eyes he realized what it was.

Jack had clipped the Nerf gun into a holster attached along the back of his belt - as though that was were it had always belonged, but where the hell had it even come from? - and he was crouched on the driveway reaching for something that was just out of sight around the front end of the car.

“Oh, buddy...what did he do to you?”

Mark frowned, his brow furrowing in confusion. Who…?

Tim .

Mark stumbled to his feet to get closer, peering over Jack’s shoulder, and sure enough the tiny box was unconscious in his friend’s hands. He didn’t look hurt, just...asleep. Knocked out. Mark reached over Jack to take Tim from him, his hands as gentle as ever as he cradled his little biscuit against his chest protectively.

“Dark...he said he wasn’t here to hurt Tim,” Mark muttered, glancing up at Jack. “I don’t think - I think he’s just asleep.”

“I hope so,” Jack nodded, tugging at the brim of his hat and giving Tim another thoughtful glance before standing and turning his gaze back to Mark. “You good though, bro? Mister My Chemical Romance didn’t hurt ya too badly?”

“Not really, no,” Mark shrugged. He started to shake his head too, but the action made his head pound and he immediately decided never to do that again. Instead he stared at Jack, bewilderment flooding his features. “Wait, me? What about you?! Last time Anti was here he nearly killed you, Jack! How did you even–”

The thought was cut off by a rather unexpected laugh from Jack. The Irishman’s expression was bright, humorous, and the laughter that left him was loud and genuine, but the fact that he was laughing at all left Mark staring at him in baffled silence.

“Bro - dude. Oh my god, no.” Jack shook his head, eyes sparkling, and he chuckled as he went on: “Mark, I’m not Jack.”

Um. What?

“You’re not–”

“I’m Chase,” Not-Jack grinned. “Chase Brody.”

Mark blinked, and several things lined up in his head in that moment.

Change of clothes. Nerf gun. Nerf holster . ‘Brobot’ and ‘Edgelord’ and ‘Your homeboy Anti’ and–

“Oh my god, you’re the trick shot guy.”

“Yeah!” Chase’s grin widened and he shot Mark a pair of finger guns. “Exactly! Bro Average, trick shot master! Nice to meet ya, man!”

Mark’s expression was hovering somewhere between amusement and stupefaction.

“Of...course you are. And, uh...how...how many…?”

“How many Egos are there right now?” Chase snickered, shoving his hands in his pockets. “Just three, for Jack. I dunno how many Evil Twins you’ve got lurkin’ around, but it’s just me and Henrik and the ol’ Glitch Bitch on Jack’s end. Hen’s taking care of Jack inside right now.”

“Henrik…?”

“Doctor Schneep.”

“Right, okay. The...the German guy.”

“Heh, sure, yeah.” Chase snorted and glanced back toward the apartment, then around at the windows of the other residence in the area. “...actually, we might wanna head in before anyone starts askin’ more questions than they already will be, yeah?”

“Uh…” Mark blinked and shook himself mentally, still struggling to wrap his head around just how similar Chase and Jack looked . He supposed seeing Google, Dark, and himself in the same place probably looked equally surreal. “Yeah. Good point.”

“Jack, sit still! Leichtsinnig… ” Henrik muttered the word beneath his breath, then glared half-heartedly at Jack over his glasses. “Reckless boy.”

“Hey–!” Jack’s protest came out wheezy and he winced, scowling in annoyed silence instead.

Jack’s sweatshirt had been carefully wrestled off of him not too long ago, and the German doctor was already examining the rather impressive bruises marking Jack’s shoulder. The collision with the television cabinet hadn’t broken the skin, but the area was already turning a deep red color and it hurt to the touch. Jack bit back a whimper as Henrik carefully felt around the area with prodding fingers. He shot the medic a wary look.

“Are you sure y-you actually...know what you’re doing?” he asked, whispering instead. “You don’t have a real medical license…”

“Hush!” Henrik scowled at the YouTuber, his eyes narrowing. “I may not have one, but I vent to medical school same as anyvone else in my field! Ze only reason I don’t have a license is because I–”

The door opened then, drawing the attention of both men and Sam, who had been snuggled up in Jack’s lap. Sam let out a quiet squeak and went airborne, darting across the apartment to snuggle against Mark’s cheek happily.

“Seán?”

“Mark!”

The name hurt to say, the word coming out hoarse and quiet and pained, but Jack’s joy and relief was there nonetheless. He swatted away Henrik’s protests and shoved off the couch, drawing his best friend into a tight hug.

“Fuck, man…” he whispered the words against Mark’s shoulder and squeezed his eyes shut.

Jack ignored the pain in his shoulder, just letting himself revel in the fact that they were both alive, they were both safe, and they had both made it through whatever the hell had happened tonight. Mark was hugging his friend back just as tightly….but with only one arm.

“Do I even wanna know what the hell Anti did up here while I was gone?”

“...probably not,” Jack admitted quietly. “An’ you’d probably say the same ‘bout whatever Dark did to you outside.”

A low, humorless chuckle rumbled through Mark’s chest and Jack finally stepped back, a weak smile playing across his lips.

“Well...you’re not wrong, I would say that,” Mark shrugged, and Jack saw him bring his hands against his chest, holding something there. “But...uh. We kind of need to keep each other in the loop, don’t we? So we can–”

Mark’s gaze trailed downward and he broke off, his eyes widening and his jaw tensing.

“...is that...new?” he asked.

Jack knew what Mark was referring to without even having to ask.

The bruises on his throat, he was sure, looked worse than ever, the old ones from before still a sickly green-yellow while the fresh ones from this evening were a brilliant red. Plus he wasn’t wearing a shirt, so the massive pattern of bruises on his shoulder was fully visible too.

Unable to give him a proper verbal response, Jack just nodded with a grimace. A vein pulsed in Mark’s neck and he seemed to have to force himself to look away.

“VHY DIDN’T YOU TELL ME YOU VERE BLEEDING?!”

“Oh my god, Hen, fucking chill, dude. It’s not that bad–”

“JACK VHERE IS ZE FIRST AID KIT??!?!”

“Henrik, for fuck’s sake!”

Jack shot a look to Chase, who was now actively trying to avoid Henrik’s healing warpath while a red stain of blood slowly soaked the thigh of his jeans. Oh...Jack’s mouth fell into a small circle and his eyebrows rose...that was where Anti had caught Chase with his knife earlier, wasn’t it? In the heat of the moment, the chaos of everything, Jack had almost forgotten that it had happened at all.

‘Mister M-Mark? What happened to Tim…?’

Then Sam’s voice chimed in, quiet and worried. Jack saw Mark wince and look down into his hands, where Jack now realized an unconscious Tim was curled safe again Mark’s chest.

“He’s...he’ll be alright, Sam. He’s just...asleep…”

“Vhere is ze sewing kit–?!”

‘You sure he’s gonna be okay?’

“Stop! I’m fucking fine! Dammit, Henrik, you’re not my fucking wife– !”

Everything sounded too loud, the entire room an endless cacophony of noise, and Jack just wanted it to stop. He wanted quiet. His head was still pounding, still spinning, from everything that had happened since Robin had called, and all he wanted was to sit down, talk it over, drink some tea, and go the fuck to sleep. But he could only do that if everyone would just–

“SHUT UP!”

Jack fell into a coughing fit, his throat screaming at him for raising his voice to such a level after the beating his neck had taken...but it did the trick. The room had quieted, all eyes snapping to him, the expressions he received on the other end rather mixed. Mark looked concerned, Chase was still vaguely pissed, and Henrik had a frantic look in his eyes as though he might explode at any second. Sam let out a little startled squeak and tumbled out of the air, Mark catching him with one hand before the little eyeball even had time to right himself.

“God...okay…” Jack took a deep breath to regain some air and nodded, his voice back down to a whisper. “Okay. So. Mark, you’re good. Sit down an’ take care of the kids.” Mark stifled a chuckled at the comment, and the smallest of smirks twitched at the corner of Chase’s mouth. “Chase, sit the hell down. Let Schneep look at ya. I’ll get the first aid kit - yes, and the sewing kit , I know, Doctor - then I’m makin’ myself some tea, we’re sitting the hell down, and we’re gonna talk about what the fuck just happened.” He threw a weary glance around the room, making sure everyone had heard him. “Got it?”

“Sure thing, man.”

“Ja. Understood.”

Jack looked to Mark last, who still had the same little worried frown creasing his forehead from before, but a bit of that strain had lessened to a degree.

“...yeah. Got it.” Mark managed a tired smile and glanced down to Tim and Sam, still held carefully in his hands, before returning his focus to Jack with a nod. “Thanks, Seán. Go do your thing. I’ve got it handled out here.”

Jack finally smiled then, and some of the tension melted out of his shoulders. He wasn’t alone in this. He wasn’t the only one who had to take charge of this absolute circus of a mess. He and Mark were in this together, best friends taking on the world together, and there were others waiting to help out in the wings if things really went sideways. Amy, Kathryn, Robin...maybe Matt. Perhaps Ethan or Tyler too, if they really needed the help. But the fact still remained that he wasn’t in this alone.

So with one last, appreciative smile and a pat on Mark’s shoulder, Jack set about doing what he had tasked himself with. God, he couldn’t wait for tonight to be over.

[A/N] - Well well well...here we are! The other half of the absolute chaos from the previous chapter, finalized here for you all. I'm sure this chapter will bring as many questions as the last, and they won't go unanswered! My apologies for taking longer to get this one out to you. Life's been a little hectic on my end...heh...but I still have inspiration for this story! Don't you worry!

Next chapter, another much-anticipated character will show his face, and while not as much action will be included it'll be just as intriguing.

I hope.

As always, comments and critiques are always accepted! Let me know what you think, and if you notice any spelling or grammar errors please point them out...I don't always catch them all. ^^;;;

Also find the latest chapters of this story on [Archive Of Our Own]

[Previous|Next]

[Chapter List]

[friendlyneighborhoodborg]

Marc Appreciation Week 2019| Day 5: Blush| “An Unchanging Face”

Am I even using the prompt anymore?  I wrote this to be the one chapter in which Marc DOESN’T BLUSH.

Also, this might be the longest one.  I didn’t pace this very well, and I am unfortunately very wordy.  If you haven’t noticed, I tend to use long words and longer sentences.

Disclaimers were on Day 1.  For those of you who are confused, this is actually part of a larger story, so... I should probably get the links for that set up.

Chapters:

1 2 3 4 5 6 7

(Don’t ask me how the fiddle this happened it, but it’s ~3700 bloody words.  I can’t pace a story to save my life.)

           Marc crept silently to the back of the school.  Rose was waiting there with a small case.

           “Are you sure about this?” he asked her.

           “Nope.”  She held up a sponge and a bottle of makeup.  “Let’s do this.”

           He slammed the bathroom door shut behind him, hunched over the toilet, and only barely managed to keep from hurling up his guts.

           It had seemed like such a good plan to Marc at first: one that seemed like it might finally resolve his confusion. Look like a girl, and go through the day looking like a girl, and soon enough he’d feel like it.  Rose had been very thorough with the makeover, extending his coal-black hair to back-length, liberally applying pale foundation, colorful contour, and, most damning of all, dark blush and ruby-red lipstick.

           “She” made it halfway through first period before the pressure started to blow.

           “I can’t do this,” Marc mumbled in his half-crazy stupor, tugging at the… no, “her” stupor, tugging at “her” extensions in “her” hair.  With an effort, he tried to shove “she” into his head, but it was no use.  The “he” wouldn’t budge.

           He wasn’t a girl, even though he now looked like one.

           Rose was wrong.  He was wrong.  That’s all he was: he was just wrong, and he would never, ever be right.

           He bolted out of the stall, grabbed a paper towel and stuck his face in the sink, barely wincing as the water and eyeliner stung his corneas. He attacked the face with the towels: no more lipstick, no more liner, foundation, contour, no more fucking blush!  Everything remotely girly needed to get the hell off his damn face now.  He scrubbed until his face had turned red, and, with a cry of rage, he ripped the extensions out of his hair.

           He couldn’t tell whether the red shade on his eyes was from irritation, force, or anger, but at least they weren’t on some girl’s face.  Of course, Marc couldn’t go back to class like this.

           Taking a deep breath, he resolved that it was better to do what he had always done.

           Ignore the pains, force them down, and keep being normal.  No one needed to see his emotions.

           He looked once again at himself in the mirror, his face for once devoid of makeup.  But it could have been worse.

           Five minutes later, once he decided he could go back, he looked at the door and saw that he had stumbled into the boy’s restroom.

           Marc sat numbly through the rest of his school day. He’d limped back into first period looking like his usual dour self, and none of his classmates had commented on his earlier freak-out.  Mrs. Mendeliev, thankfully showing some decency, didn’t offer punishment.

           Marc refused to change his face after that.  Better let everything stay inside, where he didn’t have to acknowledge it, so no one could make fun of him for crying.  Because, of course, that’s the only thing his emotions would ever let him do at this point.

           He could try forever and nothing would work, and he’d be doomed to sit on the fence, torn between the extremes that plagued him.

           Nothing worked.

           “Dude!”  A voice called him out of his stupor.  In his fugue state, his day had gone by so quickly that it was already lunchtime.  Without noticing, he had drifted into the empty art room, and it looked like Nath’s friend Alix had followed him.  “Oh, thank goodness you didn’t kill yourself, man.” It was an odd way to greet an associate, and Marc realized why she used it.

           “How much did Rose tell you?”

           “Enough to piss me off.”  She threw her hat onto a table, grabbed his head by the sides, and surveyed the damage.  “You’re not wearing makeup.  I take that means it didn’t work.”

           “No,” he mumbled voicelessly. “It didn’t.”  ‘Nothing ever did,’ he thought, but he kept from saying this out loud, for fear that he might let something else out with it.

           “Oh, that just figures,” she steamed.  “You should have told us.  All of us.”

           “I’m sorry.”  ‘But it’s not like you could do anything.’

           “I’m not angry.  I’m just disappointed.  Not at you, I mean, you wouldn’t have known.” Alix gripped Marc’s shoulders, gnashing her teeth.  “But Rose really should have known better.”

           “It’s not Rose’s fault,” he defended, because it was the least he could do for her.  “I’m the freak that no one knows what to do with.”

           “That may be.”  She stormed towards the window, gesturing outside with one hand as she pulled on her hair with the other.  “But she’s the one who tries to be too helpful all the time.  She won’t take no for an answer if she thinks someone needs her help.  And her idea of ‘help’ is maybe a little too optimistic, so the kind she does suggest usually has a very slim chance of working.  Basically, I’m sorry you ended up listening to her.”

           “What’s the difference!?” he snapped.  “Nothing’s ever going to work!  I’m not going to fix myself!  I can’t be a girl when I’m supposed to be, I don’t even know if I’m supposed to…”  He stomped to the center of the room.  “I can’t do anything.  Look, just give up on me, and Nathaniel can find someone else to finish the comic, and they’ll do a hell of a lot better than me cause at least they won’t fall apart on the first!  Fucking!  Thing!!!” With that, Marc dropped to the floor in a crouch, facing away from Alix, and dipped his head under his shoulders.

           Alix should have just walked away.  He was a lost cause, one that didn’t want her pity, and he should’ve just been left alone.  Contrary to Alix’s assessment earlier, he didn’t have any intention of killing himself quickly.  He’d saved more people unnecessary grief over his sake, and still achieve the end result if he just left instead.  He could leave quietly, and it would be like he was never there.

           “Rose is right,” Alix said instead.  “About one thing.”  Marc didn’t move.  “Living openly like this shouldn’t be this big damn clusterfuck, but it is, because society hasn’t caught onto the fact that we’re real yet, so we’re screwed over before we know what’s happened to us.”

           He didn’t change.

           “Because of that, we all find ourselves struggling to find something to smile about.  And us kids especially, because now’s the point in our lives where everyone is telling us what we have to be.  Sometimes just knowing what you are, and knowing that it’s something real that other people have to go through…  sometimes that’s all you can do, and sometimes that’s enough.”  She stamped her foot, becoming more worked up.  “And she’s got this idea that it’s not something people have to hide, and that they shouldn’t hide it.  She’s only right on one of those counts… But not all of us can have a life like hers.  LGBT is only four letters, and they’re the only four letters most people know.  And some people aren’t as forgiving.”

           There was some other story behind Alix’s words. Something in it… almost stirred in Marc. Marc loved stories, usually, but he felt like this was one he shouldn’t touch.

           “How many?” asked Marc suddenly, not lifting his head.

           Alix waited.

           “How many letters are there?”

           Alix grimaced.  “Too many to count.  And only those four get top billing.”  She crouched to his level.  “Unfortunately, not everything can fit into those categories.  Sometimes it’s so much harder to know what you are.  But that’s how you have to start, and that’s all you need to do to start.  I mean, know who you are.”

           “I don’t.”

           “Well…”  Alix cut to the chase.  “Did you ever think to check?”

           “Look?” Marc’s head shot up, frustration evident in his furrowed brow.  “What do you mean look?”

           “You experience dysphoria, Rose told me that much. But not all the time, sometimes you identify as male, female, or something else.”  She tapped the floor patiently.  “At least, that’s how I heard it.  Is it right? Now did you ever think to look those symptoms up?”

           They sat in silence for several minutes as Alix’s question bored into Marc’s brain.

           “I think I did,” he admitted.  “A long while back, I thought about it.  I talked myself out of it and never brought it up again. I thought someone might come and read over my shoulder, or my parents would look at my history.”

           “Have they…”  Alix stared incredulously.  “Do your parents actually do that?  Look at your history?”

           He paused.  “I don’t know,” he whispered.  “Maybe?”

           “Marc…” she sighed.  “Never mind, I already looked it up anyway.”  She pulled out her phone.  “Genderqueer, we’re pretty sure, right?  That’s what’s supposed to be covered by the ‘T’ in LGBT- for transgender.”  She gestured in no particular direction.  “To most people, that just means identifying with the gender opposite to yours, but the definition is actually a lot bigger.”

           “How?”

           “How many genders do you think there are?”

           “Uhhh… two?”

           “Okay,” she said, pulling him off the ground and depositing him on a beanbag chair.  “Sit up, let me learn you something.”  She opened her phone to a webpage.  “Well, I don’t know if I’m actually qualified to give a dissertation on this, but I’ll try. Gender isn’t really black-and-white, it’s more on a spectrum.  Modern science has proven this, it’s been out in the open for years.”  She continued the talk, glancing down at her phone every once in a while for guidance.  “Most people identify closely with the gender that corresponds to what they were assigned at birth.  Some identify with the opposite gender.  That’s a binary transgender.”

           Making sure Marc was caught up with that, she continued.  “Some people identify with something else, in between or disconnected from the ends. They might be more feminine or more masculine, they might identify as both male and female, or they might have no actual sense of their own gender.  These people are ‘non-binary’ transgender, and there’s a whole bunch of other categories in that, and I don’t really have time to get through them all.”

           “Wait…” Marc stopped her.  “Why are you doing this?  What are you even doing?”

           “To put it in terms you’ll understand?  You need the right word.  Badly.”  She put away her phone.  “Let’s just say I know what that feels like.”

           “You’re telling me I’m… that’s there’s actually…” At a loss for words, he only pointed at himself.

           Alix nodded.  “I found… well, gender’s a spectrum, and there are some people who sort of bounce around that spectrum.  Their gender isn’t fixed, it changes from day to day, even over the course of the day. And they do still get dysphoria sometimes, I checked.”  She paused, making sure Marc heard.  “They’re called ‘gender-fluid.’”

           Gender… fluid.

           Gender… fluid?

           The word fluid, as Marc knew it, meant gaseous or liquid. Shifting, retaining mass, but with the capacity to change in volume when referring to a gas.  As a liquid, a fluid has a fixed mass and volume, but unfixed structure, filling available space in its container.

           Gender… fluid.

           Fluid in regards to gender.  Gender changing volume and form to fit some container… himself?

           That sounded so… promising.

           No.  It couldn’t be that simple, right?  Could it be there was actually a word for his type of wrong?

           “Marc?”  Alix nudged him.  “You okay, bud?”

           Marc’s expression didn’t change.  He answered as honestly as he could.  “Uhhh, I don’t know.”

           “I need to know, before we get our hopes up…” She looked him square in the eyes and asked, iron laced into her voice, “Does that sound right to you?”

           “I don’t know,” he repeated.

           “Okay.”  She nodded. “I guess you don’t have to.  Well,” she tilted her head sympathetically.  “Just keep it in mind.  I mean, this is a pretty accepting, patient neighborhood.  You can take as much time as you need to get comfortable.”

           “Thank you.”  And then he said, “What did you mean?”

           “About?”

           “You said I needed a right word?  And you knew how that felt?”  He looked at her inquisitively. “What did that mean?”

           For a moment, Marc thought she was going to break something.  But then, Alix’s face mellowed into something more… acquiescing.

           “I wasn’t always this friendly,” she admitted.  “I would go so far as to say… I was an absolute shit.  Stop laughing.”  He wasn’t, though he had considered it.  “I was looking at everyone who had someone they called their own.  I watched them stumble over themselves like they had something to prove, even to their ruin.  And I couldn’t see why.”  She rubbed her eyes, and for a second, some freak trick of the light must have happened, because Marc almost thought he saw tears welling up.  “I don’t know why Nathaniel stuck around me.  But he was pretty much the only one who kept me from physically hurting people.  Cause as far as I knew, either the whole world was completely batshit crazy or I was, and that just made me angry.” Her fists clenched tight, her eyes shut. “I needed someone to tell me I wasn’t crazy.  And he was that someone for me.”

           “I’m sorry.”

           “Forget about it.”  She sniffed.  No, he was sure this time, Alix was actually showing an emotion!  “Anyway… Nate cares about you a hell of a lot, Shakespeare.”  She looked at him, half-threatening and half-impressed.  “He doesn’t do that lightly.  He doesn’t talk, or smile, or laugh with anyone as much as he does with you and me.  Like hell I’m letting one of the people he cares about go through what I did.”

           Marc couldn’t believe his eyes.  He wasn’t aware the skater could be this vulnerable, and yet still simultaneously command respect.

           After everything Nathaniel had done for him…

           After Alix had laid her heart bare after he snapped at her…

           There was no choice in his mind.  He couldn’t let either of them down.  For some stupid reason which Marc couldn’t gather, they both cared about him.

           “What do I have to do?”

           “Nothing.  You don’t have to do anything.  Well,” she held up a finger.  “No, there’s one thing.”

           “What?”

  ��        “Relax.”

           “Oh.”  Despite the situation, Marc allowed himself to laugh a little.  “That’ll be the day.”

           “Heh.”  She leaned forward and clapped him on the back.  “You’re alright, dude.”  She stopped awkwardly.  “Are you a dude?”

           Marc had asked himself the same question many times, if not exactly worded that way.  Well if his gender did change, then it shouldn’t matter what he was before.  That thought scared him, but ignoring everything else, and just looking at right now…

           “Sure?”  He shrugged helplessly.  “I guess?”

           “Cool.”  Alix turned to go.  “I’ll keep my mouth shut.  Rest is up to you.”  She snatched her hat back off the table.  “Gonna need this.  I’m gonna go give Rose a further piece of my mind.”

           Marc had Nathaniel’s number.  He had never used it to call him, only to text, but tonight…

           “So…”

           “Yeah,” Marc said.

           “Wow,” Nathaniel agreed.  “Have you told your parents?”

           “I mean…”  Marc glanced at his closed bedroom door.  “I haven’t.  You’re literally the second person I’ve told.”

           “I’m honored.  Are you going to?”

           “I’ve thought about it.”  He turned away from the door.  “Maybe when I’m more sure.  I mean… they know I’m not normal, but I don’t think they know how deviant I am.”

           “Parents don’t understand half the stuff their kids can.”  Nathaniel laughed over the line.  “Imagine how mine felt, raising someone with Asperger’s.”

           “What?”  Marc hadn’t expected that.

           “Yep.  I mean, you told me your major malfunction, I might as well tell you mine.”

           Oh.

           Oh wow.

           “I’m likewise privileged.”

           Nathaniel laughed heartily.  “Thanks.  I don’t really tell people, but sometimes I get the feeling I’m obvious about it.”

           Marc could relate.  ‘I’m surprised you haven’t realized my giant crush on you yet.’

           Aloud, he decided to grill him for details.  “So, you have Asperger’s?  What does that actually mean?”

           “Well, it’s… it’s difficult for me to express my emotions and interpret others.  But it’s pretty different for everyone.”  Marc heard Nathaniel gulp.  “Basically, I’m… I’m in my own head a lot of the time, and it’s difficult for me to sort of see and interact beyond that.  Especially with people.  I’m not very good with people.  Communicating.  The works.”

           “Okay.  Out of curiosity, does the art factor into that?”

           “Started out as a therapy exercise,” he admitted.  “Then I just started doing it.  I use it to organize my thoughts, illustrate my emotions, and… well, some of it is escapism, probably, let’s face it.”

           Once again, Marc could relate.

           “I mean, my folks are pretty much used to my crazy.  So, like, if your parents kick you out, I don’t think mine would be opposed to harboring a fugitive.”

           “See?”  Marc assured. “You can be clever.”

           “Sometimes.”  He could almost hear the smile.  “We’re both deviants.”

           “Yeah.  I don’t know if all this anxiety’s good for my health.  Maybe I’ll try taking Alix’s advice, see if that works.”

           “Smart.  She’s good at advice.  It’ll be good to see you relax.  And… I wouldn’t mind if you decided to be yourself more.”

           “Whatever I am, it’s genderqueer, which is apparently a much bigger category than I thought it was.”

           “So, if your gender changes, what are you now?”

           “Well right now I’m…” Marc trailed off. Something about that sentence was going to end weirdly for him. “That’s weird.  I was… a boy earlier, but now I feel…”  He paused.  “Kinda girly, I guess?  I mean… huh.”

           “Huh,” Nath agreed.

           He gripped onto the phone.  “Yeah,” he said, steeling his breath.

           Was he?

           Was “he” steeling “his” breath?

           He had to try… Marc closed his eyes and thought one forbidden word.

           ‘She.’

           It fit.

           It felt amazing.

           She… she lowered the phone from her (her!) ear.

           She laughed.  She giggled, even.

           She had tried referring to herself with other pronouns before, but she had always concluded that, since she always eventually defaulted to male, that calling herself something different wasn’t the issue. It occurred to her that she may have been right all along, only in the wrong way.  Pronouns were the issue, but not in the permanent sense, like she had considered to be the only option.

           She smiled.  Her smile.  Her. Damn face.

           She spared a glance in the mirror, but she was disappointed to see him again.  Though, as she scrutinized her reflection, she saw something she had never seen: a light of sorts, seeming to come from her eyes, reflecting the overhead bulbs. It struck her that her eyes had never seemed this deep before.  There was something completely new in her gaze, and even her expression and stature, and she realized immediately what it was.

           Life.

           And this life emboldened the green in her irises, the darkness of her eyelashes, the pink of her lips and the warm blush of her cheeks.

           It was still his face.  But, it was hers, too, dammit.

           “Marc, you okay?”

           She nearly dropped the phone.  She had completely forgotten Nath was still there. Marc, he’d called her.  She’d have to fix that.  She might want a gender-neutral name.

           She stopped.  ‘No,’ she mused, ‘one thing at a time.’

           “Yeah,” she said in her scratchy, pubescent, tenor voice.  She also made a note to practice with that some more.

           “You went kinda silent there.  You sure?”

           “I’m fine.”  She gulped.  “Never better.”

           And by Golly, she meant it.

           “Damn.”

           “What?”

           “Something’s right.”

           Nathaniel stared at the ceiling of his bedroom.  He should have gone to sleep a while ago, but that had never stopped him before.

           He thought of Marc as he had always known Marc- as a boy. Easy enough: short black hair done up in the back, the red hoodie he always wore hung over his shoulders, pale skin that blushed easily.  And he couldn’t forget the eyes.  Two eyes that were forest green.  Sharp, crisp eyes, to match the sharp mind behind them.  Sharp, spry, creative, like a colorful… sword.  The metaphor got away from him.

           The eyes were the first thing that caught his attention, the first physical detail about Marc that he had truly noticed.

           Alright, it was easy to see him as a boy, but what if he was a girl?  His – sorry, her – black hair… well, it wouldn’t change much.  Doing hair up in the back is a common girl thing, right?  And the green eyes and blush wouldn’t change either.  Now that he thought about it, Marc herself wouldn’t change. Well, she might be less depressed, maybe a bit more open about her emotions once she saw how she’d be accepted by everyone else.  Maybe she’d be even quicker with her amazing words, if that was even possible.  But those were really just boons, weren’t they? He couldn’t see any way that Marc being a girl would pose a problem to their friendship.  And he could see Marc as a girl pretty easily, with her short stature and tendency to wear makeup.  He envisioned her wearing something girly.  Probably not a skirt.  Would she wear her hoodie lower down her arms?  Maybe do her makeup a little more?  Even if it was only in front of him, he’d be happy to know she was feeling free.

           In his vision, she was smiling, and he liked it when Marc smiled.

           Well, what about something neither boy nor girl? Marc’s physical features shifted again in his mind, again only changing in how the writer carried themselves. Still brilliant, still humble, still Marc.  Maybe just a little makeup, to smooth the edge off their masculinity. Sunglasses?  No, they’d never wear sunglasses under any circumstances.  A hat, maybe.  What was Marc without their gender anyway?  Same black hair, green eyes, rosy blush.  Same demure attitude, same affectionate smile, same incredible creativity.  Why did Marc need a defined, certain gender when they had so much else in addition?

           He continued to lay on his bed, processing this. Then, as he reached the conclusion, he started to blush.

           “God… damnit,” Nathaniel muttered, covering his face.  “They’re still hot.”

Well, Marc didn’t blush.  I didn’t say anyone else wouldn’t.  And I did have the OTHER kind of blush at the beginning so...

Yeah.  I’m just gonna pretend this makes sense.  You hear me, @seasonofthegeek?  This still counts!

Comments are always appreciated.  This one was really fun to write, as you can tell from my unnecessarily long word count.  I swear, I don’t usually go this long.

But hey, I think I made something pretty cool here.  Anyway, I’m gonna post this before it’s past the deadline, so... bye for now, I guess.

[pixie-mage]

#SamLives - Pt.12

[Previous|Next?|This story has moved!]

Also find the latest chapters of this story on [Archive Of Our Own]

[This story has been edited and reposted on the official #SamLives Tumblr. The new post of Chapter 12 can be found here.]

(There is no difference between this version and the new version of Chapter 12.)

...Jack gasped sharply and gritted his teeth, snarling and tugging against the green strings, fighting for his freedom. He had to get out. He had to save Sam, had to help Mark. But there was something...odd about the strings. With each tug against his restraints, Jack felt a little more of the fight leaving him, his will to rebel slowly draining away. His head was pounding, his throat was sore, and his shoulder was throbbing with pain...so...so wouldn’t it…

...wouldn’t it be easier to just give in?

The Nerf gun fell from his hands, tumbling to the floor with a clatter of plastic and a muffled thump against the carpet.

“No͊w be̺ a̦ go͟õd̏ li᷅t̏t᷁l͋e᷊ pup̝p͟ét, an̂d̯ ğo᷊ t̥õ s͕le̗e̥ṗ.”

Yeah...yeah, sleep sounded so wonderful right now. Jack slowly let his eyes drifted shut.

Click.

“You let ‘im go right this fucking second, or I blow your fuckin’ brains out, bro.”

Shing.

“I told you scalpels vere good for more zen just surgery!”

“Oh, shut up! Take care of Jack while I deal with the Glitch Bitch.”

“h᷊O̓w̶ d̍A͇r᷈E̖ y̶OͅU͎?!?”

“Don’t even think about moving, man. Try me.”

Whatever hold Anti’s puppet strings had had over him was beginning to dissipate, the cords themselves no longer as tight and restraining as they once were. He could feel them falling away from his body, as though they were no longer attached to the person that had wielded them before. Jack staggered, groaning, and he felt a pair of hands lightly grip his arms to stop him from falling over.

“Easy Jack, easy,” a voice cropped up from right in front of him, a foreign accent adding an odd flavor to the words. “Slow down. Zose strings can really affect ze mind, even if used for mere moments. Take it from me. I vent through it once und it vasn’t a fun time…”

Jack dragged his eyes open, fighting back toward some semblance of control - and his eyes widened almost comically, a startled noise escaping him.

He was staring at himself. Or, more accurately, a version of himself. The glasses, the smirk, the concerned eyes, the familiar white coat.

“Sch-Schneep?!” Jack stammered. He felt as though he might just topple over from the shock of everything after all.

Jack’s eyes flicked upward, past the Good Doctor’s shoulder, to seek out Anti - and what he saw drew a sharp gasp past his lips.

Chase Brody, the trickshot master himself, was going head-to-head against the glitch demon, Nerf gun drawn and determination in his gaze. Anti was glaring at him with all the rage of hell burning in his eyes, and as Jack watched, he drew back his knife with the intent of landing a quick, painful attack on his taunter. Chase just shrugged and sighed.

“I warned you not to move, dude.”

Chase pulled the trigger, his gun still aimed at Anti’s head.

But it wasn’t a normal foam disc that left the gun’s chamber. It looked the same, at a glance, but there was something more to it - because instead of bouncing harmlessly off of Anti’s chest like Jack’s had, the disc collided with Anti’s skull and sent his image scattering into thousands of glitching pixels in a burst of bright, Nerf-green light. Anti staggered back, his image reforming, and when he did a deep, fury-laced scowl had set in across his features.

Oh, Chase had pissed off the wrong demon.

Anti snarled and dashed forward with his knife at the ready, but Chase had been expecting it. He dove right, rolling with practiced ease over the coffee table and landing in a crouch on the other side. He aimed again - had he even reloaded? When had he reloaded? Did he even need to? - and shot twice, hitting Anti’s shoulder and leg in turn. Both collision points exploded into static-filled distortions like Anti’s head had before, reforming just as quickly and with just as little effect as the first shot.

But it was still slowing him down. It was holding him back. It was hurting him, in a way, and Jack’s jaw dropped.

Holy. Fucking. Shit.

“Jack!” Henrik snapped his fingers in front of Jack’s face, drawing his attention. “Vhere is Sam?”

“Sam–?” Jack mouthed the name, his thoughts still horribly fuzzy from whatever the hell Anti’s strings had done to him. He screwed his eyes shut and shook his head, trying to clear his mind of cobwebs. Sam...Sam?

Sam!

“A box!” Jack’s eyes snapped open and he pointed across the room, both his and Henrik’s gazes following his finger. “Jewelry box. Anti locked him inside.”

“Scheisse!” Henrik swore under his breath and ran across the room toward the box, his coat fanning out behind him while he left Jack to clutch at the nearby bookshelf for support. His legs felt shaky, his head still buzzing. Fucking hell…

The room around him was nothing but chaos, too much noise and movement for him to fully comprehend all of it. He caught bits and pieces, his eyes darting between Chase and Anti’s rapidly-moving forms, and Henrik who was crouched before the chair in the corner.

Chase did some sort of parkour move off the couch, one foot planting firmly on the cushions and the other pushing off of the wall behind it. He spun in the air, diving over Anti’s swiping knife and barely avoiding getting slashed in the side.

Almost.

Chase hissed and tumbled across the living room floor in a sloppy version of what looked like a practiced roll, teeth gritted in pain and his free hand clutching at his thigh.

“Shit! Fuck!” Chase hissed, pounding once against the floor with the fist still clutching his Nerf gun. He shot a glare at Anti from beneath the brim of his hat, snarling in response to Anti’s shit-eating grin and his glitching giggle. It seemed to spur him into action again, scrambling to his knees and bringing his red-stained hand up to grip his weapon more steadily, aiming again. “Fuckin’ bastard!”

Chase fired, the green shot piercing through Anti’s shoulder and drawing a distorted cry of pain from the demon. Chase smirked.

”Hah!” he taunted, standing up onto slightly unsteady feet and taking a staggered step backwards. “That’ll teach ya not to mess with Chase Brody!”

Anti snarled, clutching at his shoulder as its broken pixels reformed, this time a little slower than before.

"I w̉ou̚ḷḍn̄'̣t̮ b̎e̞ so̠ co᷈cky̓, i̴f̌ I we͛r̵e ỵo͗u͖, de̬a᷊dbeåt̘.”

Even from across the room, Jack could see Chase stiffen at the word. His confidence seemed to wane, the hold on his gun going a little slack, and there was a tightness behind his eyes that Jack recognized. Deadbeat dad. The exact thing Chase never wanted to be, and the one thing - whether it was true or not - that he regretted most.

Was that all it would take for Anti to get to him? One, two words?

Jack watched the man with bated breath. He could see the way Chase’s jaw tensed, the way his nostrils flared and his grip tightened, the way his eyes narrowed...and the way he planted his feet, training his gun back on Anti even as the demon glitched closer and closer, darting forward across the room. No, he wouldn’t be shaken so easily. Chase took two shots straight through the Demon’s chest...but this time Anti was expecting it. Anti was ready. He flickered out of existence just long enough to miss Chase’s discs, grinning wickedly, teeth sharp - but a third unexpected shot hit its mark.

When Chase had pulled the trigger this time, he hadn’t stopped at one or two discs. No. Again and again, unending, his aim shifting with each pull, he rained neon green ammunition down on the ever-approaching monster that seemed hell bent on taking him out for good. Shoulder, leg, chest, head, arm, shoulder–

Anti was hard to see clearly at this point, his image a flurry of exploding and reforming distortions of pixels in the air. He was speaking, shouting, something that Jack couldn’t quite make out through the fuzziness in his head and the level of distortion Anti’s voice had reached.

“Who’s cocky now, huh?!” Chase snapped. This wasn’t the same teasing banter he’d been using before, his tone more serious. “Eat Nerf, glitch bitch!” Anti was only steps away now, so at the very last second Chase dove to the right and landed in a crouch near Jack’s feet. He shot a grin up at Jack - holy shit, it was like looking in a fucking mirror - before glancing past him toward Henrik.

“How’s that box comin’, Doc?”

“Nearly zhere,” Henrik shot back over his shoulder. He pushed his glasses back up the bridge of his nose and smirked. “Anti’s no idiot. Vhatever zis lock is, it vas made to be impossible to pick.”

“Plan B?” Chase asked, refocusing on Anti, who was finally regaining some semblance of solidity. “Or should we just skip all the way to Plan F-This and get the hell out of here?”

Jack had to admit that Anti looked a little worse for wear. He didn’t look any less angry than before, but a light sheen of sweat could be seen at his hairline, and the scar at his neck had begun to bleed. The battle was beginning to take its toll. Even so, Jack couldn’t help but gulp and press himself flush against the bookshelf he’d been using for support, as though he might be able to phase through it and hide between the books and cacti and video game memorabilia that was kept there. Chase seemed to notice his distress and stood, planting himself firmly between Jack and Anti with his Nerf gun as their shield.

“Vhat do you take me for, a moron?” Henrik joked, chuckling. “Of course I have a Plan B! Zhere is alvays a loophole to exploit, I know zat better zen anyvone.”

“Well are you gonna tell me the loophole, or would you rather leave me hanging while I’m facing down a murderous computer virus?”

“Oh, quit your vhining,” Henrik muttered. He turned back to the jewelry box, from which Jack could hear quiet squeaks and movement from Sam. Sam was okay. He was just...trapped. “I’m removing ze hinges instead. Just keep him distracted until I can–”

“G̈҉e̦͍᷁Ť o̭Ȗt̙ o̵̹̦F͔ m̵͕Y ͘wA̷̵y᷀!”

Anti had finally managed to reform fully, appearing rather suddenly right in front of Chase. Wide-eyed, gasping sharply, Chase brought his gun up to fire again – but Anti was faster. He grabbed Chase’s wrist and yanked harshly to the side, twisting Chase’s arm roughly and drawing a pained shout from the man.

“E̶no̻u͙gh̫ wi̅t̆h͗ y͜òu̸r pLa̰S̶t̙I̼c͐ t͠Oy̦S͑. Fi᷀r᷊s͖t M̤a̅r̠k��ip̮l͊ie᷁r̝, th͛ên͖ J̼a̓c̲k͂...a᷊n᷇d́ nͅö́w̔ ẙo͉u. I’m᷇ s͍I̯c̅K oF̈́ i͛T!”

A flurry of confusion crossed Jack’s mind. Mark…? Mark had never used a Nerf gun around Anti. Hell, he hadn’t even met Anti. Had he? But...his musings could wait. Anti wasn’t playing games, not anymore. The Nerf gun clattered the ground, and as Chase grit his teeth, Anti’s mouth twisted into a sick smile.

He had the upper hand now, and he wasn’t about to let it go.

Anti’s grip tightened and he wrenched Chase away from his protective position in front of Jack, sending Chase tumbling across the ground and out of his way. The space between Jack and Anti seemed to vanish in an instant and Jack’s vision was filled with the sharp, angry grin of a dark-eyed demon. A hand - a tight, painful, semi-solid hand - closed around Jack’s throat, and he could have sworn he felt his heart stop as fear flooded his system.

Not again. Not again. Please, not again…

White spots danced in the corner of his vision, blurring the edges of Anti’s face, due in part to fear alone. He knew what Anti was doing, now. Anti didn’t want him dead. He wanted him under his control. He wanted to take over. And if he lost consciousness, if he wasn’t awake to fight against that control, it would be so easy, too easy, for Anti to...to...what? What was the end goal here?

Jack couldn’t even think straight anymore, his thoughts a fuzzy mess of static. He brought a hand up to grip feebly at Anti’s wrist, the other reaching out to push at the glitch’s chest, his actions weak and sluggish. Distant words floated through his mind, so near yet so far away. He couldn’t focus enough to figure out who was saying them, or how real they were.

“Doc, c’mon! Hurry up! He’s not letting me get close enough to–”

“I know, I know! I’m almost zhere, just one more–”

“No, I ẖa͗v̶e m̪ůch...͛mùch᷆ b᷆i͈g͗g᷄er p̓lan̶s᷉ foͥr᷆ yõu͕, Jaͅc̻k…”

Not enough air, can’t breath, it hurts it hurtsithurtsithurts–

‘Anti you gotta stop! Please!’

Sam’s voice rang through the room, and a blur of green crossed in front of Jack’s vision. The grip around his throat went slack, not leaving completely but giving him enough room to fucking breathe. He gulped down air like it was the sweetest thing he had tasted, and when he refocussed on the scene before him, he saw Sam sitting on Anti’s shoulder. His little eye was full of emotion, pleading quietly with all the adorable sadness of a kicked puppy. And Anti–

..Jack almost couldn’t believe what he was seeing. If he didn’t know any better, he might just go so far as to say there was a softness in the way Anti was looking down at the little eyeball, an odd sort of affection and guilt that couldn’t possibly be real. There was no way.

‘Please don’t do this,’ Sam was saying quietly, a shaking unsteadiness to his word. ‘Don’t hurt Jack. I love him very much and I need him, and he...I don’t like seeing him get hurt. It makes me sad, and I...I don’t wanna lose my D...family. He’s my family. So...so please? Let him go?’

Click.

“Just listen to the kid, man.” Chase had recovered his Nerf gun and was standing in the middle of the room, his aim trained on the back of Anti’s head. “Don’t make him cry.”

“You’re outnumbered.” Henrik this time, standing just off Chase’s shoulder with his scalpel in hand, tightening the blade where it sat in the handle, stern eyes peering over his glasses at the pair. “Zhere are four of us, und only one of you. Zat could change, ze longer you’re here. You’re already vorn out, I can see it...and who knows who else might show up next…?”

Jack could see a vein in Anti’s neck pulsing, his jaw tight and eyes narrowed. For a moment, Jack thought the demon might turn them down, might defy them all and go on with his plan anyway. But then Anti’s eyes fell on Sam again...and something in his expression changed. He snarled and shoved away from the bookshelf, leaving Jack to slouch against it in utter-fucking-relief before glitching away in a flurry of static, electric sparks, and distorted pixels. Sam was left tumbling down from where Anti’s shoulder had been, barely catching himself in the air before hitting the carpet.

“T᷊hi̘s̴ i᷁sn't̠ t̔h͏e l͟a͚s̏t͗ y͚oͅủ'l̙l᷁ s͎e̐e̹ őf̆ m͚e̦.”

With those final words the tension in the room dissipated rather suddenly, and Jack slid down to the floor to sit back against the bookcase and catch his breath. His throat was on fire and he coughed, wincing, trying to swallow in an attempt to sooth the renewed soreness. It didn’t really help.

‘Jack!’

Before Jack knew what was happening, he was bombarded by a tiny green projectile, Sam nuzzling up against his cheek and ‘cuddling’ every part of Jack’s face that he could reach.

“I’m–” Oh, god his throat hurt. Jack winced again and brought up a hand to catch the overactive eyeball, tugging him gently by the tail until he was floating where Jack could see him. He smiled weakly, and this time he let his thoughts speak for him.

‘I’m okay, Sam.’ He smiled softly. ‘I’ll be fine, thanks to you. You saved me, buddy. You’re so, so brave…’

Sam giggled quietly at the compliment, his frantic movements slowing for the moment. Jack could still feel the worry that Sam was feeling, a tiny beacon of distress in the back of his mind...but it wasn’t quite so strong as it had been before. He let Sam go and the little eyeball immediately snuggled up against Jack’s chest where he could feel his guardian’s heartbeat, strong as ever if not a little rapid.

“Not to interrupt zis wunderbar little moment,” Henrik spoke up. “But I believe zhere is somebody else ve should be helping?”

‘Oh, yeah! Where’s Mark and Tim?’

It was as if an electric shock had jolted him as the realization struck.

“Dark!” Jack’s words came out pained, hoarse, wheezy, his voice not all there. He winced and gritted his teeth, struggling to his feet and fighting past the flames in his throat. “Dark...ngh...h-he’s outside. Mark went...car. The car.”

Chase and Henrik exchanged a look, and Chase nodded.

“I’m on it.”

He was out the door before Jack had even found his footing. Jack made to follow him, more than just a little worried about his best friend, but a hand on his shoulder stopped him where he stood.

“Nein, you’re not going anyvhere,” Henrik scolded, shaking his head. He guided Jack over to the couch, ignoring his protesting gestures and looks, and forced him down onto it. “You’re injured, und I’m not about to let you go running off into anozher fight so quickly. God, you’re just like Jackie…”

Jack opened his mouth to protest, remembered his throat, and thought better of it in favor of flipping off Henrik with all the impudence of a bratty teenager. The good doctor huffed and sat on the coffee table across from Jack, shaking his head.

“Chase can handle himself, Jack. I trust him vith zis. Ja?” He pushed his glasses up his nose and leaned forward toward his patient. “Now...vhere vere you injured…?”

Mark’s head was pounding, his eyes screwed shut and his nails clutching at his scalp so tightly he couldn’t tell if he had broken the skin or not. Images rushed past in his mind’s eye, rapid and flashing and horrifying all at once.

It would be enough to drive anyone mad.

“Have you given up yet?”

Dark’s voice echoed against the inside of his skull, drawing a pained whimper from Mark, who had yet to change positions from when he had curled up in a ball on his knees at the start of it all. It’s not real, he kept reminding himself, even as he saw Amy’s pained, pleading eyes staring back at him from his own imagination. It’s not real, and it will never happen.

It was the only thing holding him together at this point, that and the thought that somewhere inside the apartment, Jack was counting on him, counting on his help. He needed to fight this, fight back.

Think of something happy.

The little idea that popped into his head sounded remarkably like Tim, which wasn’t too much of a surprise really. Tim was a voice of wonderful positivity in his life, a small beacon of cheerfulness that he could always depend on to brighten his day. So to say that his internal positivity was voiced by the little box? It made complete sense.

Think of something happy.

Himself and Amy, going out for ice cream. Ethan and Tyler, the three of them, laughing through their lines in a short film. A take for the blooper reel, clearly. Kathryn’s teasing remarks. Chica, giving him happy puppy kisses. Himself and Jack, laughing over Spaceballs and Sea of Thieves, acting like idiots and loving every second of it.

Kissing Amy goodnight.

It was helping. It wasn’t lightening the pressure by a lot, but holy shit was it helping. Mark felt some semblance of clarity begin to return to his mind, regaining a sense of awareness that had been lost to him in the sudden onslaught of Dark’s mental attack.

Mark lifted his head slightly, trying to locate Tim somewhere against the concrete backdrop the driveway provided. Instead, dark polished shoes came into his view, the ground crunching ever-so-slightly beneath their soles, and Mark stiffened. He saw the man - no, he wasn’t a man, he was a demon - crouch before him, watching him. Watching. Observing.

“Trying to fight back, are you?” That voice again, smooth and deep and haunting and charming all at once. Echoing. Looping. Belittling. “I’m surprised...and here I thought a spineless, self-serving, self-worshiping monster like you, wouldn’t have enough humanity left in him to find any light in such a dark–”

"Sir?”

Another pair of shoes had appeared near Dark, just beyond him, these ones dark grey sneakers. They were neat, crisp, unworn in any way...and Mark had a sinking feeling he knew who this new arrival might be.

“What is it, Google? Can’t you see I’m busy?”

Mark hated being right sometimes.

"Antisepticeye has vacated the premises.”

Mark froze.

“He would like to inform you that ussies ares and things did not go according to plan. There were...as he said, “more players on the board” that he had not anticipated. Anti would like to discuss this matter in more detail, but for tonight, he is no longer in need of our assistance.”

A long pause followed the android’s words, and Mark felt both relief and heart-stopping anticipation in that moment. Anti was gone. Jack was okay, probably. But...what did that mean for him? Would Dark leave, just like that? Or–?

“Pity.” The word stopped Mark’s careening train of thought in an instant. “And here I was hoping I’d be able to break our friend Mark here before the night was out. Ah, well...perhaps another time.”

The pressure in his mind vanished in an instant, leaving Mark to gasp sharply and run his hands through his hair with closed eyes. The relief was absolutely monumental. The vice that had been keeping him in constant pain was gone, and all that remained was a throbbing headache that Mark was sure he could alleviate with some Advil. He sat up, slowly, his gaze dragging upward until both Darkiplier and Google were fully in his sights.

It was like going to a wax museum, where all the wax figures were supposed to be you. They all looked pretty damn close, but there was something...off about them, because the weren’t exact copies.

Plus the fact that one of those wax figures was actually an android, and the other made it look like you were staring through red-n-blue 3D glasses, and neither of the wax figures was actually made of wax…

...yeah, okay, maybe Dark had screwed up his head more than he’d first assumed.

“Is it wise to simply leave him behind as he is?”

“What damage could he possibly do?” Dark quirked an eyebrow at the android. “He knew I existed beforehand; it wouldn’t take a genius to assume others have surfaced as well. This changes nothing. Besides...it isn’t as if we can’t find him again after this evening.”

Dark eyes that held a sinister promise locked on Mark’s, and a shiver went down the man’s spine.

“We have eyes everywhere. He can’t hide, not from us.”

Pounding, running footsteps interrupted what Mark was sure would have been a rather chilling closure. (As if Dark’s last statement hadn’t been chilling enough already.) All three heads whipped around to see Jack bolting for the driveway, the Nerf gun Mark had been playing with all week held tight in his grip. With a cocky grin and more determination than Mark thought was fitting for such an action, Jack aimed his weapon at Dark and cocked his head to the side.

“Game over, Edgelord,” he taunted. Something about the way he was acting, the way he was talking, made Mark do a double-take. “Your homeboy Anti just ran off with his tail between his legs. I think it’s high time you did the same.”

Mark squinted at his friend. When the hell had Jack had time to change his clothes…?

“Should I neutralize him, sir?” Google’s eyes had taken on a red hue, the logo on his shirt glowing brighter than before, but Dark held up a hand to stop his colleague.

“That won’t be necessary, Google.” Dark folded his hands behind his back, smirking at Jack and casting a humorous glance toward the toy he was wielding. “As it is, my friend and I were already on our way out. No need for any further casualties. Not this time.”

Jack nodded to Google, not yet lowering his gun.

“Your Brobot seems to think otherwise.”

“Don’t mind him. It’s just in his programming.” Dark cast a sideways look of contempt toward Mark, still kneeling on the ground, and his lip curled in disgust. “Until next time, old friend.”

Then both Dark and Google vanished into wisps of black and grey smoke, leaving no trace behind, no hint that they had ever been there at all.

“Oh thank fuck...”

Mark groaned and dragged both hands over his face, rubbing the worry lines away and trying to massage his headache into non-existence. He heard footsteps approaching him, but they didn’t quite reach him. Instead he heard Jack veer a little to the left and stop there, an odd sound of plastic-on-plastic reaching his ears. When he let his hands fall into his lap and opened his eyes he realized what it was.

Jack had clipped the Nerf gun into a holster attached along the back of his belt - as though that was were it had always belonged, but where the hell had it even come from? - and he was crouched on the driveway reaching for something that was just out of sight around the front end of the car.

“Oh, buddy...what did he do to you?”

Mark frowned, his brow furrowing in confusion. Who…?

Tim.

Mark stumbled to his feet to get closer, peering over Jack’s shoulder, and sure enough the tiny box was unconscious in his friend’s hands. He didn’t look hurt, just...asleep. Knocked out. Mark reached over Jack to take Tim from him, his hands as gentle as ever as he cradled his little biscuit against his chest protectively.

“Dark...he said he wasn’t here to hurt Tim,” Mark muttered, glancing up at Jack. “I don’t think - I think he’s just asleep.”

“I hope so,” Jack nodded, tugging at the brim of his hat and giving Tim another thoughtful glance before standing and turning his gaze back to Mark. “You good though, bro? Mister My Chemical Romance didn’t hurt ya too badly?”

“Not really, no,” Mark shrugged. He started to shake his head too, but the action made his head pound and he immediately decided never to do that again. Instead he stared at Jack, bewilderment flooding his features. “Wait, me? What about you?! Last time Anti was here he nearly killed you, Jack! How did you even–”

The thought was cut off by a rather unexpected laugh from Jack. The Irishman’s expression was bright, humorous, and the laughter that left him was loud and genuine, but the fact that he was laughing at all left Mark staring at him in baffled silence.

“Bro - dude. Oh my god, no.” Jack shook his head, eyes sparkling, and he chuckled as he went on: “Mark, I’m not Jack.”

Um. What?

“You’re not–”

“I’m Chase,” Not-Jack grinned. “Chase Brody.”

Mark blinked, and several things lined up in his head in that moment.

Change of clothes. Nerf gun. Nerf holster. ‘Brobot’ and ‘Edgelord’ and ‘Your homeboy Anti’ and–

“Oh my god, you’re the trick shot guy.”

“Yeah!” Chase’s grin widened and he shot Mark a pair of finger guns. “Exactly! Bro Average, trick shot master! Nice to meet ya, man!”

Mark’s expression was hovering somewhere between amusement and stupefaction.

“Of...course you are. And, uh...how...how many…?”

“How many Egos are there right now?” Chase snickered, shoving his hands in his pockets. “Just three, for Jack. I dunno how many Evil Twins you’ve got lurkin’ around, but it’s just me and Henrik and the ol’ Glitch Bitch on Jack’s end. Hen’s taking care of Jack inside right now.”

“Henrik…?”

“Doctor Schneep.”

“Right, okay. The...the German guy.”

“Heh, sure, yeah.” Chase snorted and glanced back toward the apartment, then around at the windows of the other residence in the area. “...actually, we might wanna head in before anyone starts askin’ more questions than they already will be, yeah?”

“Uh…” Mark blinked and shook himself mentally, still struggling to wrap his head around just how similar Chase and Jack looked. He supposed seeing Google, Dark, and himself in the same place probably looked equally surreal. “Yeah. Good point.”

~  ~  ~  ~  ~

“Jack, sit still! Leichtsinnig…” Henrik muttered the word beneath his breath, then glared half-heartedly at Jack over his glasses. “Reckless boy.”

“Hey–!” Jack’s protest came out wheezy and he winced, scowling in annoyed silence instead.

Jack’s sweatshirt had been carefully wrestled off of him not too long ago, and the German doctor was already examining the rather impressive bruises marking Jack’s shoulder. The collision with the television cabinet hadn’t broken the skin, but the area was already turning a deep red color and it hurt to the touch. Jack bit back a whimper as Henrik carefully felt around the area with prodding fingers. He shot the medic a wary look.

“Are you sure y-you actually...know what you’re doing?” he asked, whispering instead. “You don’t have a real medical license…”

“Hush!” Henrik scowled at the YouTuber, his eyes narrowing. “I may not have one, but I vent to medical school same as anyvone else in my field! Ze only reason I don’t have a license is because I–”

The door opened then, drawing the attention of both men and Sam, who had been snuggled up in Jack’s lap. Sam let out a quiet squeak and went airborne, darting across the apartment to snuggle against Mark’s cheek happily.

“Seán?”

“Mark!”

The name hurt to say, the word coming out hoarse and quiet and pained, but Jack’s joy and relief was there nonetheless. He swatted away Henrik’s protests and shoved off the couch, drawing his best friend into a tight hug.

“Fuck, man…” he whispered the words against Mark’s shoulder and squeezed his eyes shut.

Jack ignored the pain in his shoulder, just letting himself revel in the fact that they were both alive, they were both safe, and they had both made it through whatever the hell had happened tonight. Mark was hugging his friend back just as tightly….but with only one arm.

“Do I even wanna know what the hell Anti did up here while I was gone?”

“...probably not,” Jack admitted quietly. “An’ you’d probably say the same ‘bout whatever Dark did to you outside.”

A low, humorless chuckle rumbled through Mark’s chest and Jack finally stepped back, a weak smile playing across his lips.

“Well...you’re not wrong, I would say that,” Mark shrugged, and Jack saw him bring his hands against his chest, holding something there. “But...uh. We kind of need to keep each other in the loop, don’t we? So we can–”

Mark’s gaze trailed downward and he broke off, his eyes widening and his jaw tensing.

“...is that...new?” he asked.

Jack knew what Mark was referring to without even having to ask.

The bruises on his throat, he was sure, looked worse than ever, the old ones from before still a sickly green-yellow while the fresh ones from this evening were a brilliant red. Plus he wasn’t wearing a shirt, so the massive pattern of bruises on his shoulder was fully visible too.

Unable to give him a proper verbal response, Jack just nodded with a grimace. A vein pulsed in Mark’s neck and he seemed to have to force himself to look away.

“VHY DIDN’T YOU TELL ME YOU VERE BLEEDING?!”

“Oh my god, Hen, fucking chill, dude. It’s not that bad–”

“JACK VHERE IS ZE FIRST AID KIT??!?!”

“Henrik, for fuck’s sake!”

Jack shot a look to Chase, who was now actively trying to avoid Henrik’s healing warpath while a red stain of blood slowly soaked the thigh of his jeans. Oh...Jack’s mouth fell into a small circle and his eyebrows rose...that was where Anti had caught Chase with his knife earlier, wasn’t it? In the heat of the moment, the chaos of everything, Jack had almost forgotten that it had happened at all.

‘Mister M-Mark? What happened to Tim…?’

Then Sam’s voice chimed in, quiet and worried. Jack saw Mark wince and look down into his hands, where Jack now realized an unconscious Tim was curled safe again Mark’s chest.

“He’s...he’ll be alright, Sam. He’s just...asleep…”

“Vhere is ze sewing kit–?!”

‘You sure he’s gonna be okay?’

“Stop! I’m fucking fine! Dammit, Henrik, you’re not my fucking wife–!”

Everything sounded too loud, the entire room an endless cacophony of noise, and Jack just wanted it to stop. He wanted quiet. His head was still pounding, still spinning, from everything that had happened since Singe had called, and all he wanted was to sit down, talk it over, drink some tea, and go the fuck to sleep. But he could only do that if everyone would just–

“SHUT UP!”

Jack fell into a coughing fit, his throat screaming at him for raising his voice to such a level after the beating his neck had taken...but it did the trick. The room had quieted, all eyes snapping to him, the expressions he received on the other end rather mixed. Mark looked concerned, Chase was still vaguely pissed, and Henrik had a frantic look in his eyes as though he might explode at any second. Sam let out a little startled squeak and tumbled out of the air, Mark catching him with one hand before the little eyeball even had time to right himself.

“God...okay…” Jack took a deep breath to regain some air and nodded, his voice back down to a whisper. “Okay. So. Mark, you’re good. Sit down an’ take care of the kids.” Mark stifled a chuckled at the comment, and the smallest of smirks twitched at the corner of Chase’s mouth. “Chase, sit the hell down. Let Schneep look at ya. I’ll get the first aid kit - yes, and the sewing kit, I know, Doctor - then I’m makin’ myself some tea, we’re sitting the hell down, and we’re gonna talk about what the fuck just happened.” He threw a weary glance around the room, making sure everyone had heard him. “Got it?”

“Sure thing, man.”

“Ja. Understood.”

Jack looked to Mark last, who still had the same little worried frown creasing his forehead from before, but a bit of that strain had lessened to a degree.

“...yeah. Got it.” Mark managed a tired smile and glanced down to Tim and Sam, still held carefully in his hands, before returning his focus to Jack with a nod. “Thanks, Seán. Go do your thing. I’ve got it handled out here.”

Jack finally smiled then, and some of the tension melted out of his shoulders. He wasn’t alone in this. He wasn’t the only one who had to take charge of this absolute circus of a mess. He and Mark were in this together, best friends taking on the world together, and there were others waiting to help out in the wings if things really went sideways. Amy, Signe, Robin...maybe Matt. Perhaps Ethan or Tyler too, if they really needed the help. But the fact still remained that he wasn’t in this alone.

So with one last, appreciative smile and a pat on Mark’s shoulder, Jack set about doing what he had tasked himself with. God, he couldn’t wait for tonight to be over.

[A/N] - Well well well...here we are! The other half of the absolute chaos from the previous chapter, finalized here for you all. I'm sure this chapter will bring as many questions as the last, and they won't go unanswered! My apologies for taking longer to get this one out to you. Life's been a little hectic on my end...heh...but I still have inspiration for this story! Don't you worry!

Next chapter, another much-anticipated character will show his face, and while not as much action will be included it'll be just as intriguing.

I hope.

As always, comments and critiques are always accepted! Let me know what you think, and if you notice any spelling or grammar errors please point them out...I don't always catch them all. ^^;;;

Also find the latest chapters of this story on [Archive Of Our Own]

[Previous|Next?|This story has moved!]

[Chapter List]

[mynameisdreartblog]

Architectural Styles 2

Leo: Mission Revival. So, my mom wants to run from a senatorial seat this incoming election, and I think it'd be really hopeful if you campaigned for her Napoleon Dynamite style. I know that's a lot of info to lay on you at once, so I'm gonna give you some resources to aid you with the campaign as well: dates, notes, mottos, early poster designs, bare speeches, and decorative pencil toppers. Oh, and I also must tell you that you're one of her contenders for a running mate, and you have a three-month period to set all this up before. All this is awaiting you only if you agree to any of it. But, I'd really favor you a lot more because I handmade this fancy suit just for you and I made sure to put Scooby-Doo patterns on your tie. No, they didn't have Velma — your favorite — because Scooby's the icon, and they're not gonna waste money printing designs of the other characters. Also, I'd like to mention that, on a $50 basis, I'll come to your house and suck your cock for this if you don't do it. I expect a response from you by tomorrow. […] I like you but only because you come off strong, and I like people who come off strong. You're the exact opposite of the guy who cut me off in that jeep with obnoxious stickers, and that example is exactly the model we need for… the running mate of a senatorial politician: that's what we need at this moment. […] Listen, I can flatter you all day with my compliments, but the choice (at the end of the day) is ultimately yours… but it'd really make my mom happy if you agreed, so please do it? Ok, that's it <Oro pulls out a gun.> You listen here, you piece of human garbage. You will be my mom's running mate when she runs for a senatorial seat, and you will do it in a humorous style à la Napoleon Dynamite. Did you fucking hear me? You will help her run, and you will get a Scooby-Doo tie! FUCK YOU!

Taurus: Akbari. A trucker hat, left abandoned on the highway; how sad. It was probably a long-gone reminder of a time of joyous festival by the roadside, but it's best not to linger about those thoughts for too long; you could end up feeling remorseful over what happened. [,,,] Anyways, let's get back to getting in the nitty-gritty of this abandoned truck stop. First things first: break through the entrance; get the crowbar then. Argh, you see the, unf, glass here is very strong here because what the truck drivers used to do is, well, to put it harshly: they rammed themselves into the place usually on accident. It would leave the place with a ton of damage and a lighting condition that eerily warns of domestic verbal abuse <the glass is lifted out of the window frame, offering an entrance into the truck stop.> […] I love these places because they're like convenience stores on meth, and this location in particular was part restaurant, part hotel, and part gas station: a three-way tie between unsanitary conditions! […] Purpose? Why, there was no purpose here except the pure curiosity of it all. There were no Hopper-esque scenery that we could take in, nor beer we could stash, nor are there any gas pumps to feed myself with. «Wait, what?» We're here purely for the adventure: this baby's gonna be demolished by the next month, and we gotta make a lasting impression of what once was while we still have the chance. […] Woah, is this the ice machine I saw on that internet video? It is: it's a Hoshizaki ice machine! «Uh, Koil? There's still trucks outside.» Wow, a 2014 calendar for Paris glitz, and it has kittens too! Aw man, you can still smell the grease left on these fryers. Oh, and there's a bag of Jelly Bellies here too? «Koil, they're coming inside; they have flashlights and batons!» Ooh, a headset! I bet this is wired up to somewhere that's still operating: "Ah yes, please come in, Olligestaia, we're having an emergency here: I just shat myself." «Koil, they're right outside the door, I can clearly hear the barking dogs and intense yelling to get out of the establishment!» Yo, they got a TV!

Aquarius: Art deco. A cop thought that we were smoking weed when we were actually smoking plain-old cigarettes. You see, that's how you mess with their heads: you make it look like you're doing something illegal, but you're actually doing something in the same vein as what they presumed you to be doing only legal. I could picture the look on his face, he looked at us with a disappointment in his eyes that he couldn't bust some younglings for three ounces of weed (thanks for the stash by the way, Ali), but at least I didn't give him candy cigarettes instead. You know, the ones that always felt and tasted like chalk and came in those superhero-themed boxes? Yeah, I ended up circulating those enough as a young age to build up a drug empire somewhere in India: it's crazy how that turned out, but I don't associate with that much anymore (I just let it do its business and I have a coconut in the receptionist's desk with a recorder to answer any complaints). [,,,] <Roaches scurries to taste the crumbs of the candy cigarette left on the ground. Comically, its tiny coughs can be heard from attempting to eat the repackaged chalk.> […] Heh, that was a fun run-in with the law… wait, I'm above twenty-one and I've been so for years now. Why the fuck was he investigating us for illegally smoking when I'm clearly not a minor? Was I with other people who happened to be minors? Was that what set him off? Wha-, those candy cigarettes are getting to me, man. I think I may've imagined that entire encounter: those kids weren't there with me, that cop wasn't there to approach me, and you weren't here to talk to afterwards… where's that goddamn chalk? I need it: it's the only thing that holds the cure to my newly acquired madness. […] <The roach has now started its own miniature drug business from the stash of crumbs it managed to take upon its initial encounter. It's build a monopoly based on the supply.> Come on, where is it? Don't do this to me, Ali.

Pisces: Maghreb. I specifically remember there being an entire roleplay here involving some sort of anime-esque sky fortress that revolved around three main characters interacting with each other. What compromised the structure of it was a single person who had a godlike presence within the world: he watched over a giant, green field of earthen hills that was populated by titanic golems. What he led on was that he was secretly the master of these beings, but he was also a creator that struggled with restraining his own madness. They were our star of the show and an explicit name was never given, only "Dr. G." — I swear, he stole that from somewhere. [,,,] Accompanying Dr. G was a distant traveler from an astronautical world: his name was unknown, but he went by MC and said that his backstory consisted of being chased down by intergalactic bounty-hunters before landing on the planet of Dr. G. On that planet, he had a newfound purpose to write and create filthy beats. [,,,] Then there was… Austino. He was the one whom Dr. G despised with all his might but had to keep around for necessity. Austino was the one who'd make it his job to annoy all other characters and break the fourth wall as often as possible. He was the one whom, in past roleplaying sessions, Dr. G often tried to murder but kept reanimating to spite him… Oh, and there's Pandora, I guess. […] I might be misremembering this, but I'm pretty sure there were various homoerotic elements within it at various intervals, as there was a scene where Austino stops to showcase everyone else this cool thing he found online, and it was the Moby Huge (a three-foot dildo). […] It was weird as hell, and all I remember from the climax was that some green dude appeared at the end and foreshadowed what I'm doing now after an epic battle between a demon — created by Dr. G — that imitated the powers of MC. I think it was for the purpose of a hero's trial, or something? […] Dr. G later tried creating a cyberpunk roleplay, but it never went anywhere.

[jeongincore]

Shit i really liked and kinda didn’t like about Ragnarok

I recently saw ragnarok and became so rejuvenated that i brought my marvel blog back but i wanted to seriously talk about like things that i liked and really didn’t just to get shit out there. 

Things i really liked (like so much that i am obsessed)

-Thor’s new hair cut/outfit, i think its actually super suitable. Gives that sort of cool ass warrior refugee look. Plus, Chris Hemsworth is beautiful. 

-The humor, oh god it was hilarious, i’ve never laughed so genuinely and so much in my life and it made the movie so charming and relatable. It was also such a departure from The Dark World and the first Thor, which dealt with so much emotional baggage for not only just Thor, but for Loki, who basically suffered throughout both movies. 

-Hulk being an actual toddler/Bruce Banner being so fucked up and anxious because WHEN DID HE GET ON AN ALIEN PLANET. 

-”You’ve been on other planets before i assume” “Yeah, one!” “well now it’s two” 

-Valkyrie. Her entire everything gave me so much to love and adore. Tessa Thompson has stole my heart yet again. 

-TAIKA WAITITI AS KORG WAS ACTUALLY SO FUNNY

-The little tiny glimpses of Loki and Thor’s childhood, aka the snake story, get help. It really showed how much time Loki and Thor had spent together, which i assume is a lot because age in Asgardian years work differently probably? Like imagine that, Loki and Thor spending time together and being inseparable for 100 years. It showed that they were always close despite loki feeling different or alienated, which explains why its so hard for Loki to just leave thor for dead. 

-”You’ll always be the god of mischief, but you can be so much more” See that shit destroyed me. Thor acknowledges that Loki is not like him. He’s a trickster, manipulative, and selfish. But he also acknowledges that Loki is so much more than his tricks and lies, which shows so much character growth in Thor, who sees loki as more than just an asgardian prince that was raised the exact same way opposite of Thor, but as his own fucking person.

-Thor actually not being stupid and falling for Loki’s tricks, aka his magic projections of himself/his petty, stupid betrayals. Tom mentioned that Thor was evolving and that Loki was finally starting to realize that he’s the only one not growing. Scenes like the betrayal scene and the snake scene, although meant to be hilarious, point out that Thor isn’t that idiot that just was too trusting of his brother, he sees through Loki’s tricks, he’s seen them for years, and it really shows that Loki’s getting predictable with his fake deaths and betrayals, which might hint at him changing? 

-IT FIXED THE INCONSISTENCIES. The main reason i didn’t like Dark world, though i did see it as amazing for its ability to mix the emotional darkness between Loki and Thor along with the humor throughout the movie, was because it pointed Loki out to be the type of cold blooded monster that would murder his own father. I mean I’m no Loki apologist, i love the kid but he’s killed, he’s manipulated, he’s hurt everyone around him, but i doubt he could ever kill Odin, no matter how much of a shitty father he is. Also low-key hated the whole “Loki if you betray me, ill kill you” Thor bullshit. We all know thor wouldn’t be able to do that, he still hopes Loki is his brother. 

-AGAIN, THE SNAKE SCENE WAS SO FUNNY. 

-”I thought the world of you Loki.” Ouch. 

-Hulk and Val’s bromance. 

-The entire Valkyrie v. Hela scene. It was so beautiful and ethereal i actually nutted. 

-LOKI DIDN’T NEED TO COME BACK. HE DIDN’T NEED TO GO BACK TO THE SHIP WITH THOR. HE DIDN’T NEED TO GO BACK TO ASGARD. HE COULD HAVE NOT. BUT HE DID. BECAUSE SOMEWHERE IN THERE UNDER THE SELFISHNESS MAYBE HE CARES.

-Loki’s face when odin called him his son. 

-Loki’s face when Hela told him to kneel. 

-Loki refusing to let Thor go back to Asgard. “Are you serious? you can’t be thinking of going back there, that’s madness!” is that? Loki cARING? 

-Loki’s character development. 

-thor in a jean jacket and hoodie in new york. 

-Thor spilling beer everywhere. 

-Loki letting Thor take the orgy ship. 

-Jeff Goldblum. Thats it. 

-LOKIS FACE WITH THOR AND ODIN ON THE ROOF OF THE CASTLE I SCREmed AFTER ALL LOKI DID HE WAS STILL PUT THERE AS A PRINCE OF ASGARD BYE.  

-”Hello father” “OH SHIT” 

-The entire play. Loki’s rule as a benevolent god/king in which, before everyone feared him for a dictatorship militaristic form of ruling he could have, but in reality he just like ate grapes and watched plays. 

-Thor wanting to be a Valkyrie. The crowned prince of asgard, wanting to be an elite team of woman warriors. 

-VAL IS GAY AND IN TESSA THOMPSONS WORDS, HAD A GIRLFRIEND THAT SACRIFICED HERSELF TO SAVE HER. 

-Val kicking Loki’s ass. 

-THE RETURN OF THE DOUBLE BLADES OUT OF NOWHERE. 

-Loki in a suit. 

-HEIMDALL I LOVEJWIFHTGE.

-”I thought you didn’t want to talk about it” “heres the thing” 

-”Hello!” “Hi” *blasts everyone in room with giant laser guns* 

-”What are you? Thor, god of hammers?” 

-IMMIGRANT SONG. 

-”i swear i left him right here” “where? on the street? Or in that nursing home thats being torn down?” 

“I’m not a witch” “Why do you dress like one then?” 

-Loki rolling his eyes when thor is approached by fans. 

-Loki calling stephen strange a shitty sorcerer and going at him with stabby hands. 

-Confirmation of loki’s love of stabbing. 

-Confirmation that Loki is a snake, and also Thor’s favorite snake.

-Loki reciting Thor’s prayer to odin with him mY SON. 

-The avengers parallel. “He’s my brother!” “adopted.” 

-”mbLERG ITS ME” 

-”AGH LOKI!” 

-’DIRECT ME TO WHO’S ASS I HAVE TO KICK” 

-”Where? the devil’s anus?” 

-Bruce fighting evil with fireworks. Good job sweetie. 

-Bruce flopping like a fish on the bifrost. 

-Thor and his sparkles. 

-Lightning eyes. 

-Odin finALLY DYING. THANK GOD. 

-*Loki on a death trip* ‘this is a terrible idea” 

-Loki somehow reciting a spell to bring surtur back. what a weirdo. how did he know that. 

-LOKI COMING BACK. 

-im here. 

-Loki

-Brodinson. 

-Thor and Bruce’s bromance. 

-Jane not being there. I mean it makes sense she dumped him, he left her for two years chasing down infinity stones and constantly almost dying while she had no way of contacting him because Thor’s ass didn’t know how to use fucking email. Also i just really honestly never liked her character to begin with, i mean sure i love that Jane is a strong, smart woman but tbh i just wanted to Fast forward every time she was on screen. 

-The cute death wolf. 

-”THATS HOW IT FEELS!” “sorry i just really like the sport” 

-THOR ACTUALLY BEING PORTRAYED AS LESS OF A JERK WITH CACTUSES SHOVED UP HIS RECTUM AND MORE LIKE THE SWEET, CHARMING, CHARISMATIC AND SLIGHTLY ARROGANT BUT MEANS WELL MAN HE IS. 

-Val being there as a cool as member of the team rather than just the love interest of Thor. Protect her at all cost even though she probs doesn’t even need it. 

-”I’VE BEEN FALLING FOR THIRTY MINUTES” 

-Stan Lee’s cameo as the dude who cut Thor’s hair. Thank you for doing all of us a giant favor. Please do the same to Loki. 

-loki beating someone up with his horn hat. 

-Loki twirling his horn hat. 

-Loki being such a self serving, extra asshole that he came from the fucking fog screaming “YOUR SAVIOR HAS ARRIVED” 

-Bruce asking where tony was and then complaining about his tight crotch pants. 

-LOKI’S COSTUME CHANGE GOD I HATED THE OLD ONES BLESS UP. 

-Loki’s costume being mainly blue, black, and gold :-)))))))

-Loki being 100% done with everything that happens. 

-Val knocking Loki out when he makes her relive her trauma why do people ship this you go honey that was a dick move

-Thor throwing various things at Loki to make sure he’s not a mirage. 

-he’s a friend from work, something a kid from make a wish that met chris suggested, being in the film and all of the trailers. I hope that made that kid smile. 

-”In return, i wish to be granted safe passage through the anus” 

-LOKI FINALLY ACCEPTING THAT HE DIDN’T WANT THE THRONE WITHOUT A FAMILY. THAT HE’D RATHER WATCH HIS BROTHER TAKE IT AND STILL HAVE A BROTHER THAN HAVE A THRONE WITH NO ONE TO SHARE IT WITH. 

-LOKI SHOWING UP ON SCREEN DURING THOR’S CORONATION. 

-Loki being genuinely worried about and double checking if Thor really wants to bring him back to earth after what he did kill me honestly that would probably hurt less. 

-Loki’s face when thor said that going their separate ways was what Loki always wanted bc in reality that is the opposite go back. 

-Hela not being Loki’s daughter because 1) it proves that ya’ll should stop hoping that a comic soap opera about rich petty alien boys with daddy issues would be anything like classic norse mythology, and 2) when the fuck and how the fuck and why the fuck 

-Loki suggesting that he and Thor both rule over Sakaar together lmao ouch. 

-Loki just being really cute and quirky. 

-Thor being so fucking amazed by Val all the time. 

-”You’re late.” 

-”I saw you coming” “course you did.” 

-THE GUNS NAMED DES AND TROY I WANTED TO FUCKING DIE. 

What i didn’t like much; 

-Hela. I loved her character, but honestly here is where i think there might’ve been some failure despite how much i loved that movie. She seemed so out of place as a villain, and i feel like the whole related shit tried to mimic Guardians vol. 2, but honestly the fact that Thor didn’t care much about her made her feel so out of place. But i did like some parts, like how she was so disappointed about not being remembered or what her existence and disappointment did to how loki was raised. 

-Dr. Strange? Ok that was weird. It makes sense and it was funny to see him but to be honest i wasn’t into it. 

-tHE SCENE WITH VAL AND A GIRL BEING CUT. WHYWHYWHY

-tbh was not fond of frost master, don’t hate me. 

-Loki possibly taking the tesseract????? And hinting that he might turn evil again??? don’t do this to me marvel. 

-loki possibly being turned into the quirky sidekick of his brother. Loki is Thor’s equal, not his annoying little brother/wacky sidekick. I didn’t get that vibe often, but sometimes i did honestly. 

-RIP thor’s hammer. 

-ODIN BEING A PIECE OF SHIT YET AGAIN. 

-Hela’s entrance. it was so quick and like out of place i was like what wait, Loki and thor didn’t even have time to prepare or even mourn. 

-the comedy. It was its best and worst part of the movie. Sometimes it was tasteful. Other times it was too much. Thor and Loki didn’t even get to mourn for their dad who tbh was an asshole but still their dad before there was a annoying joke about kneeling. It took away from the story sometimes.

-the lack of hugging between thor and loki.

-The way they glossed over the warriors three’s death like they weren’t Thor’s closest friends and the only ones there for him when Odin tried to banish Thor to earth :-))))) I mean after all that shit he went through I’m pretty fucking sure it probably hasn’t caught up to him but ya bitch still pissed. 

-The way, Thor, who basically admitted that Loki actually meant the world to him and was the only family he had left, didn’t ask where he was after asgard exploded? Like tbh i get it, he trusts Loki, his brothers capable and strong and most of all really fucking smart, but i’d still be like :-) the fuck is Loki. I think this is a directing error though rather than like the characters fucking up but i was freaking out, i mean asgard was literally pebbles and everyone was out BUT my son. 

-No sif, i mean i get it Jaime Alexander was busy but like y'all could’ve explained smh. 

-Loki not getting a hair cut. When will his emo phase end. 

-Not getting that one flashback to 80′s asgard with mullets and emo loki. 

Overall it was pretty fucking cool, one of the best movies of the trilogy. I fell in love with the marvel cinematic universe all over again. But it wasn’t perfect. 

[getyourshittogetherkenny-blog]

I’m not gay!

Kyle Broflovski X Male!reader

This is Jazzy’s first reader insert! Read with care my lovelies!

Prompt: “You’d never believe me if I told you that I_____, buts its true and I can prove it!”

“Dude, did you hear about the argument Craig and Tweek had the other day? It was brutal.” Stan asked concerned. 

“Yeah. Hope things will be alright, they’ve been dating longer than anyone else in this school.” Kyle answered raising a thick eyebrow. Stan visibly brightened up at the mention of relationships. 

“Speaking of, Wendy wanted to talk to me when I got to school.” The dark-haired teen quickly started to scan the semi-crowded halls for said woman. Even in high school, their relationship is off and on.

“Dude seriously? This is the second time you guys have gotten back together this month.” He inquired exasperatedly. Kyle thought their whole relationship was a load of bullshit. Stan’s constant swooning was annoying because he would talk endlessly about her. 

Stan was about to respond until he caught sight of his “dream girl” at her locker. The ginger narrowed his eyes and elbowed the taller teen, obviously trying to get his attention again. Stan adjusted his hat and strode across the room to greet Wendy. Leaving Kyle to stare unbelieving at his retreating back before hurrying to catch up.

“Hey Wendy, you wanted to see me, right?” Stan asked breathless. His cheeks flushed a vibrant shade of red. Wendy peeked out from behind her locker door and immediately smiled at the teen. 

“Good morning Stan.” She greeted before glancing at the Jewish boy and continuing, “ Yeah, but can we talk. In private.” Kyle rolled his eyes at the obvious jab from the volleyball captain. Stan eyed his friend for a moment before agreeing to Wendy’s request.

“Great! Here Kyle, hold this. We’ll be right back.” Wendy thrusts her bright yellow purse and notebooks into his lithe arms before grabbing Stan’s arm. The tall boy threw a quick thumbs up at his friend over his shoulder as he was being lead away.

Once the two love birds were out of sight, Kyle let out a loud groan of annoyance as he adjusted the colorful notebooks into his arm and securing the purse into his free hand. He pulled out his phone and decided to scroll through social media to pass the time. 

“Jesus Kenny, don’t you shower? You smell like shit.” Cartman’s obnoxious voice drifted around the corner, but Kyle paid no attention as he was still wrapped up in the latest Kardashian drama. After all these years, the ginger finally learned to drown out his stupid voice.

“Shut up, maybe the inside of your nose just sme-” Kenny’s muffled retort was cut off by the sight of Kyle. Better yet, the position he was standing in. Hand on a jutted out hip with notebooks tucked under his arm while his other hand held a blindingly bedazzled yellow purse and his cell phone. The two boys looked and each other and had one thought go though their minds.

Gay.

The fat teen threw his head back and laughed boisterously, startling Kyle. “What the fuck, Cartman?” Said teen exclaimed. Kenny just continued to stare slack-jawed before smirking and chuckling.

“Digging the new look Kyle.” The blond said coolly, throwing up an eyebrow flirtatiously. The comment making the brunette laugh harder. The ginger watched Cartman double over and clutch his stomach confused. He glanced between the pair before realizing that he was holding. “Wow Kyle, didn’t know you were so gay!” Cartman wheezed.

“What?!” The Jew’s voice rose an octave as he dropped the purse and notebooks. “I’m not gay! Wendy just wanted me to hold her things!” His face flushed scarlet as he rambled.

The fat teen stood up, wiping his eyes and clutching Kenny’s shoulder for support. “Stop denying it, Kyle. You might as well change your occupation to professional dick-sucker.” Cartman could barely finish the sentence as he began to laugh again, bringing the blond along with him into his laughing fit.

The short teen furrowed his brows, “Shut up fat ass. I’m not gay and I can prove it!” He yelled at the two. His hands shook violently as he fought the blush on his pale cheeks.

“Alright then, prove it!” Kenny challenged the freckled teen with a smirk. Cartman took this moment to place a requirement. “Yeah, you have to kiss a guy!” Both the blond and the ginger looked at him confused and concerned.

“How is that going to prove anything?” Kyle countered angrily. What the fuck was that suppose to fix? If anything it would just give the two idiots more reasons to continue to call him gay.

“Shut up you Jew!” The offensive teen snarled, “You need to kiss a guy to see if you really aren’t gay!” He finished with an evil glint in his eye. Kenny preceded to nod his head, a growing smile on his face.

“Yeah, yeah! And if you end up catching feelings, then it’ll prove that you really are gay!” He added throwing in a punch to Kyle’s shoulder. The Jewish teen looked at his friend unsure, before finally agreeing.

“Fine. Whatever.” He attempted to sound uninterested, but his slight stutter and flushed face said otherwise. “Who do I have to kiss? I doubt that I could just walk up to anyone and do that without them wanting to beat the shit out of me.”

Cartman rubbed his double chin in thought, “Hmm. Lets see.” He hummed almost comically while Kenny merely did a quick scan around the halls. “Hey what about (Y/N)? Isn’t he gay?” Kyle glanced across the walkway to where the boy stood.

“No way dude! That was just a rumor.” Kyle quickly looked away from (Y/N)’s back. A rumor was spread a few weeks back about the boy being a homosexual. It wasn’t confirmed or denied, so it just dissipated until everyone nearly forgot about it.

“We picked him Kyle, so you have to do it! Do it or you’ll be known as Mr. Sucksonballs for the rest of your life!” Cartman demanded loudly, catching the attention of a couple of students.

The short boy sharply shushed the fatty with a finger over his lips. “Shut up Fat Ass! Fine I’ll do it.” Kyle rushed to the boy at a rushed speed, in an attempt to get it over with before the morning bell. Once he reached (Y/N), he breathed a sigh of relief that there were hardly any students near the area.

“Hey Kyle. Do you need anythi-”

“(Y/N) I need you to kiss me!” Kyle interrupted abruptly, startling the teen. (Y/N) just stood there staring at the freckled teen. He was searching for any sign of a practical joke. 

“Are you serious? Is this a joke? Because its not funny.” (Y/N)’s brows knitted together in frustration. Kyle’s face scrunched up in annoyance. He just wanted it over and done with as soon as possible. He sighed and gripped the bridge of his nose.

“Look. You’d probably never believe me if i told you this without context, but I’m not gay. I can prove it! You just have to kiss me.” He explained hurriedly. His heart drummed in his chest at an almost unbearable rate.

“You know what, fine. What else do I have to lose.” (Y/N) admitted dejectedly. He closed his eyes and leaned in quickly, barely brushing his lips against Kyle’s. The ginger barely had time to react before the mysterious teen pulled away. (Y/N)’s cheeks were barely a pink tint as opposed to Kyle’s who sported a cherry red.

“There, happy? Now would you people please just leave me alone.” (Y/N) turned away and slammed his locker door for added emphasis. Kyle backed up slowly before turning and rushing back to rub it in their faces that he proved them wrong.

“I’m not gay! I proved you wrong!” The freckled boy pointed a thumb at himself in pride. Both boys glanced at each other in disbelief before laughing harder than unexpectedly loud. “Kyle, you stupid Jew, that’s not a kiss!” Kenny buried his face into the crook of his arm in an attempt to stifle his laugh. “Its got to be longer or it doesn’t count!” Cartman gasped out in between chuckles.

“Jesus Christ! Seriously?!” In a flush-induced rage, Kyle turned around swiftly and chased after the boy walking down the hall. “(Y/N)!” He bellowed out.

(Y/N) sighed, expecting the worst. “What do you want no-” He was cut off as Kyle grabbed the unsuspecting teen by the arms and pressed his thin lips against the teen.

Kyle could truly feel how soft his lips were against his chapped ones. The longer the kiss lasted, the more things the pale teen noticed about a kiss with (Y/N). His heart thumped rapidly against his rib cage painfully. Kyle put pressure behind his lips subconsciously as (Y/N) firmly gripped his biceps for more support.

“Whoo-Hoo! Go Kyle!” Wendy cheered as a confused Stan stood silently beside her. Kyle’s eyes widened as he realized how many other students were watching the two of them. Both of them released each other in a hurry, their faces completely red and their hands trembling. Neither of the two could even look at the other’s face.

The silence was broken by the obnoxious laughter of the two idiots that put Kyle in this situation. “Well done Kyle! You sure proved us wrong!” Cartman Shouted above the hushed whispers of his fellow classmates. Their laughing was cut short by the morning bell.

Cartman and Kenny strode away, still chuckling about the whole situation. (Y/N) has since run off to class in a flurry of embarrassment. Leaving Kyle, Stan, and Wendy in the halls.

“Dude, what just happened?” Stan asked still shocked at the turn of events with a giggling Wendy beside him. Kyle didn’t respond, so the dark haired boy shook the ginger’s shoulder gently, coaxing him out of his daze. The shorter male looked at his friends before opening his mouth slowly.

He spoke slowly in a trembling voice “I’m not gay.” His voice cracked at the last word.

[harderbetterfasterlarper-blog]

Observations on costuming

So I just got back from the gym, had a PR attempt on deadlifts and hit it for a god-damn double so I’m feeling pretty good about that. And what better thing to do with my energy and enthusiasm than write a blog post here while I wait for my dinner to cook?

I’ve managed to secure a fairly hefty LARP budget (for a newbie, at least) that won’t touch my actual finances by selling off my old PC. I already have weapons so this is going almost entirely to clothing and accessories and I’ve been looking at LARP costumes to try and figure out what makes them work, and what makes them suck.

This past Friday I spent the evening at a LARPing friend’s place watching Dogma because she’d never seen it which is borderline unforgivable (then again, I was obligated to show her Clerks and Mallrats as well - skipped over Chasing Amy because I think Kevin Smith was having some sort of personal issue when he made it). But that’s besides the point. We got into talking about LARP characters, character development and costuming.

I’m someone who has a lot of unpopular opinions that get me into trouble. Luckily I am huge so trouble can go fuck itself. One of these - which I’ve developed over looking at LARP photos - is that cotton and the colour black are the banes of costuming, followed closely by newness.

Cotton lacks texure, unworn black clothing exacerbates the problem. When I see these costumes - the ones that suck - I see people who spent a hundred dollars on a pouch or some fancy gloves or a fucking hat and 30$ on the biggest pieces of their outfits - the ones they wear ALL THE DAMN TIME. I’m not a fashion person at all but even I can see that that’s fucking dumb and counterproductive. Even worse, the colour black. People dress in all black thinking they’ll look badass. Now, in everyday life I wear all black cause I’m metal AF but my clothes have other features - seams, pockets, band logos etc which break up my silhouette. I’ll never be a fashion icon but I don’t look like total shit either. In (fantasy) LARP however, you don’t have that. Period clothing was simple, so the only way to break it up is with texture, layers, belts and other doodads - in that order. When you look like a baggy black blob you don’t look badass, you look like ass.

I would post an example of bad costumes but I don’t want anyone to see themselves and feel like crap. So instead I’ll post pictures of good costumes so people see themselves and feel happy. Cause I’m such a nice fuckin’ guy.

I’m going to start with costumes that straight up contradict me, because although I typically make good arguments, being proven wrong keeps me on my toes. Let’s look at ways to make black look good:

Look at that shit. Notice black is a theme here - from the raven feather cloak, the black leather pants, the black hair, gloves, armour. You’re thinking, “man, black looks badass.” No, this chick looks badass. Why? Look how it’s broken up. The silver bits on her armour. The brown tunic thing with white trim. The skin! She’s using her skin as a layer (arms) to break up her figure. The outfit is still a but edgelord-y but nonetheless it manages to look good. It also has the “LARP armour” problem.

The LARP armour problem: why the fuck do all the LARP armour makers do this with leather armour? These weird layers that don’t seem to serve any purpose and are always shaped like they came out of some cartoon? My dudes, stuff that looks good in a comic or cartoon rarely looks good IRL. Compare Stallone Dredd (close to the comic) to Karl Urban Dredd. 

See what I mean? Which one is more believable in live action? The same applies to any sort of costuming. And LARP armour makers don’t seem to get this.

Anyway, let’s look at more great LARP costumes.

Check out this motherfucker:

Go on, look. This cunt is SMILING and he still looks like he could beat your ass. Yet look how little black he’s wearing. Look how the colours and textures break up his silhouette. How the rust on his gorget and pauldrons tell you this dude has been around. How everything being distinctly NOT pristine gives you the impression that this guy is experienced and ready. That’s what I’m talking about.

But what about simple beginner costumes? Can you look good without so much stuff? Damn right you fucking can.

Look at this sassy bitch. What do you think the most expensive part of his costume was? That’s right, the gambeson. As it should be because it’s the first fucking thing you see. With that smirk, confident yet casual stance, layered costume this guy looks like he’s waiting for an excuse to knock you on your ass. But look! No fancy anything. What is he even wearing? A brown gambeson, some sort of white shirt underneath. Rus pants I think? A double belt with a pouch, a scabbard with a sword. This whole thing probably cost him less than 200$ (barring the sword).

Now, how about a woman? Well, a woman would look good in that as well. But you need a visual. Okay. fine. Let’s do this shit.

Look, motherfucker, look! This one. TWO costume pieces in the shot. TWO. A really nice gambeson and some fucking pants. And she looks better than 90% of LARPers out there. Even worse (for me), she’s ALL IN BLACK TOO. Look at the egg on my face. And she looks even better than the first chick I posted and more badass too. I’d rather have her watch my back than miss raven-feathers.

How about a badass elf costume, you ask? No such thing. Elves are trash. Some of the elf chicks are hot but, still trash. Fuck elves.

So, what did you get out of this? What I got out of it is: focus on the big pieces people see first. Break up the silhouette. Layer or give the illusion of layering. No fucking cotton. No fucking black cotton. A simple costume made of well-selected main pieces will look better than focusing on fancy, expensive accessories and dressing for a funeral. 

[vintagestyled-blog]

Last Thursday night I  re-watched Kevin Smith’s Chasing Amy,  and as expected it moved me as if I was watching it for the first time around. Chasing Amy is listed as a romantic comedy but it fits a few more boxes than just that. It’s drama, it’s romantic,  and it’s seriously funny…

  “Smith knows that at some level there’s nothing funny about being in love: It’s a dead serious business, in which your entire being is at risk.” aka movie critic Robert Ebert.

Or also : “Love is the province of the brave.” aka rockband  TV on the radio.

The movie is abundant with sharp, ironic and sexual dialogue. Kevin Smiths dialogues are the best in the field as the main characters explore their feelings and point of view on topics such as romance,  sex and friendship.

Holden (Ben Affleck) and Banky (Jason Lee) are two comic book artists living in New Jersey who are signing their cult novel “Bluntman and Chonic” ( featuring the adventures of Smiths characters Jay and Silent Bob). There Holden meets Alyssa ( Joey Lauren Adams), also a writer, and is immediately smitten by her. She invites him to a party. By this Holden offcourse assumes that she has mutual feelings for him. When Alysa sings a song at the party in a rather erotic way and kisses the girl she was singing it to Holdens world is chattered. Nevertheless, he likes her so much that he decides to give the whole friendship thing a try.

As his feelings grow deeper for her he can’t keep quit any longer :

“Why are we stopping? Because I can’t take this. Can’t take what? I love you. You love me? I love you. And not, not in a friendly way, although I think we’re great friends. And not in a misplaced affection, puppy-dog way, although I’m sure that’s what you’ll call it. I love you. Very, very simple, very truly. You are the epitome of everything I have ever looked for in another human being. And I know that you think of me as just a friend, and crossing that line is the furthest thing from an option you would ever consider. But I had to say it. I just, I can’t take this anymore. I can’t stand next to you without wanting to hold you. I can’t, I can’t look into your eyes without feeling that, that longing you only read about in trashy romance novels. I can’t talk to you without wanting to express my love for everything you are. And I know this will probably queer our friendship – no pun intended – but I had to say it, because I’ve never felt this way before, and I don’t care. I like who I am because of it. And if bringing this to light means we can’t hang out anymore, then that hurts me. But God, I just, I couldn’t allow another day to go by without just getting it out there, regardless of the outcome, which by the look on your face is to be the inevitable shoot-down. And, you know, I’ll accept that. But I know…I know that some part of you is hesitating for a moment, and if there is a moment of hesitation, then that means you feel something too. All I ask, please, is that you just, you just not dismiss that – and try to dwell in it for just ten seconds. Alyssa, there isn’t another soul on this fucking planet who has ever made me half the person I am when I’m with you, and I would risk this friendship for the chance to take it to the next plateau. Because it is there between you and me. You can’t deny that. Even if, you know, even if we never talk again after tonight, please know that I’m forever changed because of who you are and what you’ve meant to me, which – while I do appreciate it – I’d never need a painting of birds bought at a diner to remind me of.”

And, like it ought to be in EVERY ( ha ha)  romantic movie, she runs out of the car in the rain. He follows her. She decides that saying that he loves her is about the most selfish thing he did. He walks up to the car, she runs after him and guess what-  they kiss in a very, may I even say, smokingly hot, way. Alyssa explains how she felt when she made the decision to love people in a certain way, and the way she loves Holden…

Alyssa: You know, I didn’t just heed what I was taught, men and women should be together, it’s the natural way, that kind of thing. I’m not with you because of what family, society, life tried to instill in me from day one. The way the world is, how seldom it is that you meet that one person who just *gets* you – it’s so rare. My parents didn’t really have it. There were no examples set for me in the world of male-female relationships. And to cut oneself off from finding that person, to immediately halve your options by eliminating the possibility of finding that one person within your own gender, that just seemed stupid to me. So I didn’t. But then you came along. You, the one least likely. I mean, you were a guy.

Holden: Still am.

Alyssa: And while I was falling for you I put a ceiling on that, because you *were* a guy. Until I remembered why I opened the door to women in the first place: to not limit the likelihood of finding that one person who’d complement me so completely. So here we are. I was thorough when I looked for you. And I feel justified lying in your arms, ’cause I got here on my own terms, and I have no question there was some place I didn’t look. And for me that makes all the difference.

Holden: [pause] Well, can I at least tell people all you needed was some serious deep dicking?

  So they are now a couple, but then Banky, Holden’s best friend and roommate, might be secretly in love with Holden ( still following?)  He tells Holden how they called Allysa “finger cuffs” in high school and how a friend of him told him she had sex with two guys at the same time. Holden, who until then believed he was the only guy she had sex with ( according to his definition of it) begins to doubt himself. He confronts Allysa and they break up.

Then Silent Bob breaks his silence in the diner:

Silent Bob: So there’s me and Amy, and we’re all inseparable, right? Just big time in love. And then four months down the road, the idiot gear kicks in, and I ask about the ex-boyfriend. Which, as we all know, is a really dumb move. But you know how it is: you don’t wanna know, but you just have to, right? Stupid guy bullshit. So, anyway, she starts telling me about him… how they fell in love, and how they went out for a couple of years, and how they lived together, her mother likes me better, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah… and I’m okay. But then she drops the bomb on me, and the bomb is this: it seems that a couple of times, while they were going out, he brought some people to bed with them. Ménage à trois, I believe it’s called. Now this just blows my mind, right? I mean, I am not used to this sort of thing. I mean, I was raised Catholic, for God’s sake.

Jay: Saint Shithead.

[Silent Bob elbows him; Jay motions as if to start a fight]

Silent Bob: Do something.

[to Holden]

Silent Bob: So I’m totally weirded out by this, right? And then I just start blasting her. Like… I don’t know how to deal with what I’m feeling, so I figure the best way is by calling her a slut, right? And tell her she was used. I’m… I’m out for blood. I really wanna hurt this girl. I’m like, “What the fuck is your problem?”, right? And she’s just all calmly trying to tell me, like, it was that time and it was that place and she doesn’t think she should apologize because she doesn’t feel that she’s done anything wrong. I’m like, “Oh, really?” That’s when I look her straight in the eye, I tell her it’s over. I walk.

Jay: Fuckin’ A!

Silent Bob: No, idiot. It was a mistake. I didn’t hate her. I wasn’t disgusted with her. I was afraid. At that moment, I felt small, like… like I’d lacked experience, like I’d never be on her level, like I’d never be enough for her or something like that, you know what I’m saying? But, what I did not get, she didn’t care. She wasn’t looking for that guy anymore. She was… she was looking for me, for the Bob. But, uh, by the time I figure this all out, it was too late, man. She moved on, and all I had to show for it was some foolish pride, which then gave way to regret. She was the girl, I know that now. But I pushed her away. So, I’ve spent every day since then chasing Amy… so to speak.

[after a long silent pause]

Jay: Oh, enough of this fuckin’ melodrama!

[to Holden]

Jay: My advice, forget her, dude. There’s one bitch in the world, one with many faces.

[to Silent Bob]

Jay: Get up tons of fun.

[back to Holden]

Jay: We gotta book. We’re catching a bus to Chi-town.

Holden realises he was wrong all along.  Will it be too late, or not?

  And In the fashion department….Alyssa wears mostly see through tops, wide legged jeans, wide t-shirts with a print, big jeans jackets and flanel shirts. This style defined the nineties, it has made it’s comeback and is till relevant in 2018.

If you want to adapt Alyssa’s nineties style, I think it’s crucial to blend the key elements of that style with contemporary pieces. This style, my dear friends, can also to be found in the Netflix show LOVE, where the character Mickey blends nineties with ease. Or it could also just mean that you’ll have to re-watch Dawsons creek.

But first let me give you a quick reminder of what nineties fashion looks like:

Flared jeans

Chokers

Hoop earrings

Crop tops

Overalls

Scrunchies

90-ties shoes like Birckenstocks and Doc-Martens

If you were in to hiphop, this was generally marked by oversized saggy trousers and sweaters, combined with lots of ‘ fake’ gold and Kangol hats. Oh and Timberlands.

If you were in to grunge, you generally wore cut of shorts with ripped black panties underneath a crop top and a flannel shirt. And doc Martens. Or you could go for the classic ripped jeans or the slip dress.

I bet you know what I mean. Because, if you are here, you are somewhat into fashion. But just incase. I’ll show you the pretty pictures anyway 🙂

  Some cool facts about Chasing Amy:

In Japan, the screenplay of Chasing Amy was adapted into a novel by Kenichi Eguchi and published by Aoyama Publishing. The unique concept of the book is that it is roughly half-novel, half-manga, with Moyoko Anno providing the art for the comic book pages.[25] In an episode of SModcast, Smith revealed that while he was thrilled to have a manga based on his film, he was shocked when he read the novelization, as the characters’ sexual histories, which are just mentioned in conversation in the film, are depicted in the novel’s manga illustrations as very sexually graphic flashbacks. (Source Wikipedia) When Kevin Smith wrote the script he was dating Joey Lauren Adams and was inspired by her.

Chasing Amy is part of Kevins Askewniverse series. Each movie in this series crosses over with other films of the universe. Alyssa is name dropped in Smith’s Clerks and also appears in Mallrats. The key figures of this universe are the characters Jay and Silent Bob two drugdealers are extremely talented in not minding their own business.

Other funny quotes:

Holden: So, uh, what do you wanna do tonight?

Banky Edwards: I dunno. Get a pizza, watch “Degrassi Jr. High”.

Holden: You got a weird thing for Canadian melodrama.

Banky Edwards: I got a weird thing for girls who say, “Aboot.”

Banky Edwards: [to Alyssa] Since you like chicks, right, do you just look at yourself naked in the mirror all the time?

Jay: So why the long face, Horse? Banky on the rag?

Holden: I’m just, ahh, I’m just havin’ a little girl trouble.

Jay: Bitch pressin’ charges? I get that a lot.

    Love, Maureen

  Filmstyle ” Chasing Amy”- nineties revisited Last Thursday night I  re-watched Kevin Smith’s Chasing Amy,  and as expected it moved me as if I was watching it for the first time around.