#a church of burnt romances

[ofcrescents]

@ofchaoticminds

[lonelychicago]

It's a church of burnt romances, and I'm too far gone to pray.

buy me a coffee ☕️

[1dtrickortreatfest]

1D Trick Or Treat Fest 2024 - Masterpost

🧙🏻‍♀️🎃🧟💀 Please find below the full list of our Halloween-inspired ficlets written for this year’s fest, each one exactly 666 words long. Will you find a trick or a treat? 🧙🏻‍♀️🎃🧟💀

All the Words We Don't Want to Hear lululawrence | @lululawrence

A Haunting in Doncaster disgruntledkittenface | @disgruntledkittenface

A Romantic Nightmare Neondiamond | @neondiamond

A Slight Situation downcamethelightning | @downcamethelightnings

Break Me Like A Curse LetTheMusicMoveYou | @letthemusicmoveyou28

can't hide from yourself yeah_alright | @uhoh-but-yeah-alright

Harry's Halloween Husband Haul lululawrence | @lululawrence

on the threshold of eternity we_are_the_same | @so-why-let-your-voice-be-tamed

Peaceless Piece berzerkshires | @berzerkshires

The Church of Burnt Romances Darling28 | @darling-28

The Dare Rosann1986 | @wishingicouldfly

"The Demon you’re trying to summon is currently unavailable." red_panda28 | @red-pandaaa

The Kiss of Sleep haztobegood | @haztobegood

🧙🏻‍♀️🎃🧟💀 Please remember to leave all the amazing authors who contributed this year kudos and comments! You can find the collections for previous years here, here, here, here and here. Happy Halloween everyone! 🧙🏻‍♀️🎃🧟💀

[pandapodfics]

Panda's Podfics - Halloween Special -

ft. @1dtrickortreatfest

👻 The Church of Burnt Romances by Darling28 / @darling-28

🎃 The Kiss of Sleep by haztobegood / @haztobegood

👻 on the threshold of eternity by we_are_the_same / @so-why-let-your-voice-be-tamed

🎃 Break Me Like A Curse by LetTheMusicMoveYou / @letthemusicmoveyou28

👻 Harry's Halloween Husband Haul by lululawrence / @lululawrence

🎃 All the Words We Don't Want to Hear by lululawrence

👻 Peaceless Piece by berzerkshires / @berzerkshires

🎃 "The Demon you’re trying to summon is currently unavailable." by red_panda28

Listen on Apple Podcast | Spotify Download from MediaFire (31.58MB)

[phanfictioncatalogue]

Therapy (2) Masterlist

part one

a map to the lost (ao3) - dizzy

Summary: Dan's third therapy appointment, circa late 2014.

a pinch of sugar (ao3) - angelmichelangelo

Summary: dan comes home to find a treat waiting for him at home

But I'll Be Close Behind (ao3) - fringesandcringes

Summary: Exploring how they work through Dan's depression individually and as a partnership, through therapy sessions, episodes, and posting a YouTube video about it for the whole world to see.

Deceit and Devotion (ao3) - Thatonefunhun

Summary: Phil Lester has it all. A successful career doing what he loves, a “bestie” who's always got his back, and a can-do attitude! He’s living the life! But what goes on beyond the camera? And is everything as it seems…

Dropping Anchor in a Storm (ao3) - jestbee

Summary: Phil wakes in the early hours to a thin beam of sunlight breaking through his curtains, and the soft sound of Dan breathing by his side.

He should be able to bask in the peace and stillness of the room, but his brain won't let him do that today.

(TW) Exhausted (ao3) - breatherepeat

Summary: Dan has spent years in therapy unpacking the issues of his past and coming to terms with himself. In order to complete his journey of self-acceptance, he knew he would have to face some difficult aspects of his past. The only way to work through years of repressed memories is to bring them to light and process them.

It Gets Better (ao3) - yikesola

Summary: The air in the waiting room is too hot. Dan is hoping his therapist’s office is cooler— it usually is, she has a fan that she always turns on when he walks in— but he also is sitting with that heavy feeling in his stomach that today is going to be a hard day, and the room being stifling would just be part of his luck.

A fic about self-empathy and good sessions.

it's a church of burnt romances (ao3) - phanetixs

Summary: Dan backs into the car and the driver asks where he’s heading. His head swims with thoughts of Phil, and of guilt and embarrassment at how he’s subconsciously treating his friend. Whose life centres around virtues like chastity. And non-objectification goes both ways. Dan takes a few deep breaths, pressing a palm to his insistent bulge to quell his arousal. As always, it doesn’t work.

Well, he resolves, if he can’t get Phil out of his head, he’s got to get someone else into it. Or onto him, preferably.

Or, a Fleabag AU.

Redemption Arc (ao3) - philsmeatylegss

Summary: classic, slightly dramatic and unrealistic rags to riches au

run don't hide (ao3) - calvinahobbes

Summary: Dan has a run-in with a girl from school.

somebody's gone (ao3) - dvp_95

Summary: Dan's first therapy session after the incident.

the brain inside my muddled head (ao3) - angelmichelangelo

Summary: dan sees his therapist

the uncertainties of sexuality (ao3) - danhoweiis

Summary: “For me, having a label means having to be that thing and maybe sometimes I don’t want to be that thing but how on earth can I explain that to them when all I have to do is talk about a cute boy or something and suddenly I’m a bisexual icon when I’m not...not that.”

Therapy Day (ao3) - kattdan

Summary: Sometimes therapy makes Dan feel worse and he seeks comfort in Phil.

thursday at eleven (ao3) - cityofphanchester

Summary: This isn’t Dan’s Thursday morning, and no matter how much and how long he’s been pushing the idea, these first steps have to be Phil’s own.

Unfiltered (ao3) - orphan_account

Summary: "Start with the unfiltered version," his therapist had told him. "Write it all out, as if no one else will ever see it, and then work your way from there."

It's a long process, getting everything together, readying himself to open up about depression, but he can take it in steps.

we were never in the park (ignoring tornado warnings) (ao3) - pasteldanhowells

Summary: After Phil leaves Dan, Dan starts seeing a therapist. Then, Phil comes back, and Dan starts lying to his therapist about him.

What A Catch (ao3) - hygge

Summary: Phil visits the same cafe every weekday morning without fail. But, when he decides to visit the cafe on the weekend for once, the atmosphere that he had grown used to has completely changed thanks to a piano player named Dan. While Phil is ready to jump into a relationship, Dan is hesitant and is still trying to stitch his life together again after What Had Happened in his past relationship. And that’s easier said than done.

wherever you stray i follow (ao3) - calvinahobbes

Summary: Dan brings Phil with him to therapy.

[sugaredrhubarb]

In honour of her second book, Lancelot in November, coming out later this month, I want to talk about one of my favourite books of the last year and one of my favourite romances ever.

King of Cups 

By @woodswit / @phoebe-woods

available here

Hockey, love, tarot, mystery—this book is so up my alley that I was almost scared to read it. After putting it off for most of the fall, I finally dove in this winter while in the middle of a depressive slump. When I say this book made me laugh and cry, it feels almost diminishing—it made me feel, and anyone who experiences similar slumps of numbness knows what a feat that can be.

King of Cups follows Eloise, a mess of a private investigator, as she gets drawn into the world of the Boston Bruins and the world of Jacques Lavesque, a hockey star and a man finally cracking under the weight of perfection. If you don’t want to read me wax on about this book for ages, give it a look.  If you'll stick around, let me tell you why I love it.

Eloise & Jacques

“She was never comfortable at all – not in her own skin and not in anyone else’s. After all, underneath it all, there she was – a trespasser no matter where she went, an interloper who had never learned to root in any soil, a witch forever in exile.”

Oh, how I was so seen by Eloise. She is a little lost and a little lonely. She is awkward, and sometimes she’s accidentally cruel, but she is good, and she is learning. Sometimes, a character changes in a book simply because the author says so; that is not the case here. Eloise grows and evolves, and we get to see every step forward and backward and every bump along the way.

“Was this what it was like to be in Jaques’s head — to see the vulnerability in everyone, even when they were challenging, and have your heart broken for it?”

I have never related so much to a male character, even in all his big athletic manliness. Jacques is tired. He has given so much of himself to his team, to his family, to everyone but himself. He has so much love and so much anger, and they twist, grow, and burn bright within each other. The story of Jaques is just as compelling as the story of Eloise, and they amplify each other in every way. 

“He was in love with the world and at times in love with every single person in it.”

Hockey 

“She was thinking of church again as she heard the announcer yell, “...BOSTON BRUINS!”  Or maybe not church — maybe something older, something rooted in pagan ritual and wolf-gods and dented armour.”

So yes, this is a hockey story, but you don’t need to be a hockey fan to enjoy it. For those of us who are, however, and have been burnt by hockey books before, this is what we’ve been looking for. The author is a hockey fan, and it shows in how she examines the fanaticism of sports culture, the paradox between the inherent violence of hockey with the perfect family man image it demands, and the bigotry endemic to the whole thing. None of it feels forced; all of it feels real, and you can tell it’s done by someone who both loves the sport and sees its flaws.

Everybody else

“[...] at the end of the day all that matters to me is how I loved other people.”

Every character in this book is a whole person. No side character is there just to serve a purpose, even only for a scene. From the other players on the team to Eloise’s family to the big “villains” and the side conflict starters, every single one has wants and needs and flaws, and I fell a little in love with them all. You will relate to them, you will feel for them, you will love them too.

Love

“Love was the Wheel of Fortune, cyclical and never static.”

The word love has already appeared 11 times in this post (12 now) and is circled frequently in my copy of the book. This is a romance (as I usually talk about very smutty things, I would be remiss not to mention that this is not that), and the love built between our main characters is so strong, even when it is scared or angry. Eloise and Jacques are magnetic to each other and the reader, and every moment they are in each other’s vicinity feels charged and electric. But romantic love is not what makes this book special. Love is woven through every aspect of the story, and it is the familial love, the platonic love, that shines brightest. Love is hard; sometimes love ends, sometimes it refuses to, and sometimes it is new and barges its way in when you least expect or want it. This book depicts it all beautifully.

I don’t even know how to fit in here just how well it’s written. The world is detailed and real. The characters are relatable and full. The mystery is gripping and engrossing. I could talk about the dialogue for ages. It is so incredibly human, funny and aching and awkward and revealing. 

If you read this book, you will want to treat the world as kindly, empathetically, and lovingly as the author treats her story. 

The author is a mutual of mine on here so I do want to say thank you to her for giving the world such a special piece of work, I’m so looking forward to reading the next addition.

And thank you anna ( @winterrose527 ) for putting it in my path in the first place.

[indiaalphawhiskey]

OTB (louis song) and walls prove a larry breakup but people don't want to see that. i mean walls is his fave song (and the name of the album for gods sake!) and it's about a break up (nothing wakes you up like waking up ALONE and all that's left of us is a CUBOARD FULL OF CLOTHES (closet) the day you WALKED AWAY etc) and OTB is written in black and white. and it's at the END of the album for a reason. "pour mercy, mercy on me, set fire to history, i'm breakin' my own rules (to only write love songs/we made it etc etc), i'm cryin' like a fool, tall STORIES on the page (either our fanfictions/his other songs), short glories on the FADE, i been close enough to TOUCH, but i NEVER CARED for LOVE, it's a church of BURNT ROMANCES and i'm TOO FAR GONE to PRAY, it's a SOLO SONG and it's only for the BRAVE, if the truth tell, darling, YOU (meaning lesbians/larries) fell like there ain't enough DYING STARS (famous queer celebrities) in your sky, it's a tall TALE (fairytale), and it's only hello, hello, NO GOODBYE (goodbye) (bc we like to think they made it and they didn't), pour mercy, mercy on me, i'll fall upon my knees, and they'll say, "i told you so, come on, when you know, you know" (abt being gay obvs), all the LONELY shadow dances from the cradle to the grave (bc loads of lgbtq+ people are single, never meet our one bc we're only a tiny % of the population, so we live and die alone), it's a SOLO SONG and it's only for the brave" 😭 holding onto heartache is the same btw, also about the larry breakup "the nights, they change in seasons, become the strangest days, i called you twice but then regretted it, and changed my number, the questions that i'd ask you, "where did it all go wrong?", it's time to accept that larry has broken up, we haven't had any credible reciepts in a few years (2019 was the last one) so yeah sad but kinda inevitable, they held on as long as they could but yeah it's over 😩

SUUUUUUPER GLAD you feel that way, anon. You’re so decided and confident, and that’s super great, because it means there’s no reason for you to be on Larries’ tumblrs.

🚪🫲 please see yourself out. Enjoy your life! I am so happy for you! 🙂

[evelynstarshine]

anyway I'm thinking of a story about a newly turned vampire who gets scolded when they try to enter their parish church and the crosses of their old friends and family burn to look at but then they move to a new town, and meet new friends, and eventually, it stings alittle to go into that chapel, and sometimes their icons glare but, as they get welcomed and made accustomed to, the discover that it was not God or his house that burnt them, but the community in it's lack of acceptance for the change they've gone through.

It's kind of a metaphor for coming out and not being accepted and then finding an affirming church community and through that strength and recover in your self identity, but mostly it's about a vampire making friends and the whole romance of dying and then coming back from the dead and stuff

[thelastattempt]

It’s a church of burnt romances and I’m too far gone to pray

Like, yes, YES, religion and relationships and firing witches at the stake for daring to be slightly different and blind idolisation at the altar of structured dogma. BUT ALSO - this is sitting on your knees at the shrine of toxic relationships, this is everyone and their aunt having an opinion and raising up something that didn’t work, never works, everyone immortalising relationships, romances, friendships, moments that are raccoons in trench coats, pretending to be a functioning and healthy dynamic.

And you’re too far gone to believe it, too old, too young, too eyes-wide-open to take your place in the parade because you’ve seen it and you can’t unsee it. It’s refusing to join the conga because I’m beyond it, I’ve experienced it and I don’t. Believe. It. Anymore. the curtain’s been raised and I’m just destroyed and illuminated both, I can’t join in your awe, it’s a fucking church of burnt romances and I’m too far gone to pray.

[1asbrightasthestars3]

Let me tell you something I think everyone without exception needs to know.

Quick backstory, me and my friends decided to do presentation night, which means each of us will make 3 presentations about topics that we will choose.

I chose, the love of my life, Louis Tomlinson.

And I decided to have a bit of fun with that.

So I made a quiz called "Louis Tomlinson or Shakespeare."

The quiz is about quotes from William Shakespeare, the brilliant playwright and poet from the 16th century & from Louis Tomlinson, the man and the legend.

Going into this presentation I was aware of Louis' writing skills, and I know and have known for years what a lyrical genius he is, BUT.

I wanted to make it as confusing as possible for my friends and for that to work, I had to take the greatest (not the song) Louis Tomlinson lyrics.

And I think I just fell a little more in love with his lyrics. e.j

"pour, mercy, mercy on me, set fire to history, I'm breaking my own rules, I'm crying like a fool. Tall stories on the page, Short glories on the fade, I've been close enough to touch, but I never cared for love." STARTING OFF REAL STRONG,

and then we have the pre-chorus: (which I do hope to get tattooed later in life.)

"it's a church of burnt romances, and I'm too far gone to pray, it's a solo song and it's only for the brave"

And this not only being a literal piece of literature it's also very clearly, to me at least, and sorry for assuming, a queer anthem. Referencing the religious perspective on it, specifically the Catholic/christian opinion on it.

And then of course we have got the chorus.

"if the truth tell, darling, you fell, Like there ain't enough dying stars in your sky. It's a tall tale, and it's only hello, hello, no goodbye."

Which is actually perfect in my eyes. After that we have the second verse.

"pour mercy, mercy on me, I'll fall upon my knees and they'll say 'i told you so, Come on when you know, you know.' "

Which, help me god, once again sounds very clearly like a queer anthem, this time referencing the family/social circle of the person.

Then we have the rest of the second verse which is not only the most heartbreaking line I have ever heard, it is also the quote I meant to use because it reminded me of a popular Shakespeare quote.

"All the lonely shadows dances, from the cradle to the grave. It's a solo song, and it's only for the brave."

Do you understand what I'm talking about now? This man is THE poet of the century (you can also add Taylor swift to the list, the woman is a genius.) And I don't think you can even begin to understand he said all of these things UNDER TWO MINUTES??

anyways I just wanted to share my love to Louis Tomlinson and I hope you can listen to him in the future if you haven't, and continue to listen to him now if you have. Because I only spoke about 'Only the brave' but his songs are the most poetic, beautiful thing I have heard. (Yes there are songs about him having flings and taking drugs but don't everyone?;)

So there's a list of my favorite Louis Tomlinson songs that I think you should listen to: Copy of a copy of a copy, the greatest, change (this one!!), angels fly, two of us (about his late mother, bless him), walls, bigger than me, too young and basically the entirety of two his albums 'Walls' and 'Faith in the future.'

Thank you for listening to my rant! ~L

[library-ghoulette]

My Path Serpentine (Ministry librarian series) - Chapter 1/?

Pairing: Copia (Papa Emeritus IV) x Original Female Character

Rating: This chapter is gen, later chapters will be mature to explicit

Tags: Third person POV, original female character, slow burn, workplace romance, Satanic nuns, libraries

Words: 1916

Summary: Sister Beatrice Laurence has spent her entire life seeking knowledge and belonging, and she thinks that she has found them both in the modest Satanic church where she works as a library assistant. But a job announcement from Ministry headquarters stirs her ambitions for more, and places her in the path of Papa Emeritus IV.

A/N: I intended to write some no-frills library smut, but it got away from me almost immediately. There will be smut in future chapters, I promise. But for now, let us meet our intrepid heroine and learn of her professional frustrations, and an intimidating yet tantalizing opportunity for power...

ao3 link

divider by @gothdaddyissues

Winter - Unholy Church of the Infernal Heart - The Library

"Sister Beatrice?"

At the sound of her name, Sister Beatrice Laurence's head pops up from behind the stack of books on the desk. Her aspect is harried, veil riding back to reveal her blonde bangs, her round, silver-framed glasses slipping down her nose from where she has been looking down at the book cart where she's alphabetizing the check-ins to be reshelved. She pushes her glasses back into place and attempts a smile—a genuine one, in contrast to the expression Sister Grace usually turns on her, which has a hollow quality and never quite reaches her eyes and makes Beatrice feel as though she is always about to get a nasty surprise.

"Yes, Sister Grace?" Her voice carries a note of hesitation, born of her experience with her supervisor's tendency to find fault with even the smallest tasks Beatrice completes. The older woman loves nothing more than to question all of her underlings' competency, but Beatrice seems to be her favorite target. It's never a good thing when Sister Grace comes out of her office.

"Father Kirk just called. He wants to see you." Before Beatrice can ask if she should finish her work first, Sister Grace cuts her off: "I'll take it from here. You're dismissed for the day."

Beatrice's palms are clammy as she retrieves her bag and coat from the tiny break room that always smells like burnt coffee, and as she heads out of the library with a bright "have a good night!" that Sister Grace doesn't return. She pushes out of the front doors of the library into a cold and dreary February afternoon and hurries across campus to the building that houses clergy offices. The lowering sky hangs heavy and ominous with clouds that spit the occasional hard flecks of something that vaguely resembles snow. It's not the kind of day that portends good news.

When she reaches Father Kirk's office, the door is closed. She straightens her veil nervously, wipes her hands on her coat, and knocks three times.

"Come in! Ah, Sister Beatrice!" Father Kirk stands up behind his desk as she enters. He's heavy-set, with close-cropped dark hair just starting to go grey at the temples and small, bright eyes, dressed in his customary black slacks and button-down, with a black clerical collar. He's not much older than Beatrice herself, and has always felt more like a big brother to her than some of the older, sterner priests in the Satanic church. Even so, being summoned to his office has her stomach twisting with nerves.

"Hi, Father Kirk! Sister Grace said you wanted to see me?"

"Yes, yes, come in. Have a seat. And uh, close the door, please."

Beatrice settles herself in the brown leather visitor's chair with hobnail trim in front of Father Kirk's desk. She smiles to see the assortment of toys and miniatures that clutter the space around his computer, the rubber duckie with devil horns and the rainbow-colored Baphomet figurine a friendly contrast to the rest of the drab administrative decor that came standard.

Father Kirk sits down again and regards Beatrice in thoughtful silence for a moment, elbows resting on his desk, fingers steepled, in a move that does nothing to assuage her anxiety. Then he asks, "Beatrice, where do you see yourself in five years?"

It's so corporate HR, so job interview, that it flummoxes her. "I- Here, I guess," she stammers, gathering her composure to summon a more dignified answer. "I want to be wherever I can best serve the will of our Dark Lord."

Father Kirk sighs. "Humility is not a virtue in our faith, Sister Beatrice. So please. Do me a favor and cut the bullshit."

From someone else, the words might sound harsh, but when Father Kirk says them, they carry no hostility, just the rough-hewn kindness of someone who knows when you're wasting everyone's time by not being as straightforward as he always is, and as he always wants everyone else to be, as well.

"What did you tell me when you first petitioned to join our order?" he asks.

Though a handful of years have passed since then, Sister Beatrice remembers that day clearly. "I said that I wanted to learn everything there was to know," she recalls. "And that I wanted to be a conduit for the word of Lucifer, for His knowledge and the freedom it brings, to all who seek it."

Father Kirk nods. "And do you feel that you are fulfilling that role here, in our parish?"

"I enjoy the work that I do in the library, Father," she says, choosing her words carefully. "And I do my best to fulfill my calling, in all the opportunities that are afforded to me here."

There, that was diplomatic enough. She thinks of the opportunities afforded to her, the ones that Sister Grace condescends to hand out. Shelving books and basic circulation tasks, mostly. Answering reference questions as quietly as possible so that Sister Grace doesn't eavesdrop and nitpick how she handled them. Begging for more responsibilities, only to be given the simplest copy cataloging—that Sister Grace always double-checks for imagined errors when she deigns to allow Beatrice to do it at all.

"And are you happy with those opportunities, Sister Beatrice?" It feels like Father Kirk is reading her mind.

There's no use lying: "I know that I could be doing more. I want to be doing more."

Father Kirk nods, looking pleased at Beatrice's candor. "I agree," he says. "You could be doing more."

There's a beat, and Beatrice feels compelled to fill it. "Is there… another position opening at the library?" she asks. There have been times when she has imagined Sister Grace quitting, or retiring, or—on her most frustrating days—running afoul of a negligent driver who fails to stop at crosswalks. Maybe her fantasies are coming true? Is she getting a promotion?

But Father Kirk laughs ruefully. "Not at our library, no. However—" He spins his chair around to grab an envelope from the mail tray on the shelf behind his desk, then sets it on the blotter between them. "I want you to look at this."

Beatrice picks up the envelope. It's made of heavy, creamy paper, and it feels important and expensive in her hand. The return address identifies its origin: "Ministry headquarters?"

She looks up to find Father Kirk regarding her seriously. "Read it."

She turns the envelope over, and, seeing that it has already been slit open neatly, she extracts the paper inside. Unfolding it, she reads:

[MESSAGE FROM THE CLERGY]

We wish to inform you that the position of Ministry Head Librarian is vacant. This position oversees daily operations of the library and archive at Ministry headquarters. Qualified applicants will possess thorough knowledge of circulation and reference, collection development, cataloging, and resource sharing. Supervisory experience strongly preferred. MLIS or equivalent degree from accredited institution required. All interested parties should submit completed application and letter of reference to…

Beatrice skims over the address to the bottom of the letter. It is signed, Sister Imperator. She turns the paper over, seeking answers, but the back is blank.

Her head feels strangely woozy, and she finds that she can't meet Father Kirk's eyes. "I- I don't understand."

"I think you do understand, Sister Beatrice."

"But this job—" It's my dream job, a voice in her head supplies, who do I have to kill to get it? But aloud, she says, "I- There's no way they would give it to me."

"Why not?" Father Kirk asks, and when she opens her mouth to protest, to list all of her deficiencies, real or imagined, he cuts her off: "You have the required degree. You have an entire portfolio of projects and internships. If you hadn't taken your vows, you would undoubtedly be running your own library by now."

It was likely true—she had been on that trajectory when she left her role as the assistant branch manager at a public library to dedicate herself fully to her dark faith, leaving her secular life behind.

"But I haven't taken my final vows yet." She has moved through her postulancy and novitiate periods, and she took her temporary vows over a year ago. She has been looking forward to professing her solemn vows, to the feelings of stability and permanence that she imagines doing so will bring. Feelings she has longed for her entire life, that she has searched for in vain.

"You can transfer and take your vows at the Ministry when you get the job." Father Kirk shrugs. "It's not common to move to a different diocese, as you know. But it can be done, especially under extenuating circumstances. I'll do my best to ensure that you don't have to restart your novitiate."

It would be worth it, though, that ambitious, greedy voice in her head says. Even if I did have to restart. Even if I had to do anything.

She allows herself a brief vision of herself in the role. Living in the beautiful old abbey she has seen photos of online but has never visited. Surrounded by the most powerful and influential members of the church. Being in charge of her own library; and not just any library, but the very heart of Satanic scholarship. Having power, real and tangible. No one to stand in her way and hint that maybe the Dewey Decimal System is just a bit out of her league, doesn't she think?

"When I get the job?" she asks.

"Yes, when. I wouldn't be suggesting this to you if I didn't think you had a chance—and a very good one, at that. You are the perfect candidate. They would be fools not to hire you."

"It's so far away." Sister Beatrice looks at the letter again, tracing and retracing the lines of the Ministry letterhead. Tears prick her eyes. "I would have to move," she says.

Father Kirk reaches across the desk and places a warm, reassuring hand on hers. "And you will be missed. You have been a dark blessing on this parish from the moment you entered, my dear. One of the most gifted Sisters we have ever admitted." He squeezes her hand, prompting her to meet his gaze. "And that is why I want you to apply for this job. You are destined for so much more than what is possible here. It would be cruel to keep you."

He releases her then, and as though a spell has been broken, she finally folds the letter again and places it back in the envelope.

"Will you at least consider it?" Father Kirk asks. "For me. Not as your priest, or your boss, but as your friend?"

Beatrice nods. "I'll consider it."

When she leaves his office, Father Kirk sends the envelope with her, and it weighs heavily on her the entire night. It seems to whisper to from her from her bag during vespers, and as she eats her dinner in the church cafeteria, as she showers and pulls on her nightgown, and as she lies in bed vainly trying to read a dark romance novel that would normally hold her attention easily.

Sighing with resignation, she sets her book aside and takes up the envelope again. She slides the job announcement out with the anticipation of someone rereading a love letter. She reads it again and again and again.

And she considers.

[dancewithlou]

Louis has such an amazing writing style and his lyrics are always incredible but something I’ve always loved is the way he carries the same themes/ motifs throughout his writing. Even looking back on songs from 1D that he wrote on there are clear indicators that he wrote on it because of the themes, lyrics or style of the song often you can tell by the bridge too my man never misses with a bridge he constructs them like no other.

An example of motifs is his use of religious imagery or language in his songs.

‘There’s a devil in your smile that’s chasing me’ // the priest thinks it’s the devil’ // ‘it’s a church of burnt romances’ // ‘im too far gone to pray’ // ‘the devil in my brain’ // ‘demons, I’m taking all of my demons’ - it’s interesting how this is a consistent theme and there’s phew so much to unpack in these songs and their connotations themselves but the lyrics are so emotive. As someone who has a religious background the use of religious imagery is actually something I love because it’s something I pick up on quite quickly. Louis often talks about ‘the devil’ a devil or demon is a crafty creature a ‘fallen angel’ a trickster his use of talking to someone and saying ‘there’s a devil in your smile’ is almost him saying ‘I’m gonna regret this but you’re so tempting and I can’t escape you, I also don’t want to’

‘The priest thinks it’s the devil’ in End of the day Louis is demonstrating loving someone, you can’t help but love that person there’s no escape again linking back to ‘the devil in your smile that’s chasing me’ not to mention the religious trauma that comes along with this line, ‘the priest’ thinks you’re sick your possessed and incurable, because you can’t in fact change who you love. This then links to ‘the devil in my brain’ now remember how in End of the day Louis was being told he was possessed well here’s Louis acknowledging this ‘demon’ he hears the demon in his head this incurable part of him he can’t escape and he can’t help but to listen to this demon because he can’t help who he is as he addresses in End of the day. In Only the brave (which is a song full of queer connotation and religious trauma and imagery) Louis again addresses how he’s ‘too far gone to pray’ how this ‘church of struggles of romances that have burnt to bright but then been put out too soon’ makes him feel like he couldn’t possibly pray he is a possessed man remember the priest has told him that he is wrong, this song addresses the deep trauma of coming to accept how hard it is to love so honestly ‘I’m breaking my own rules’, he’s going against what he’s always been told and therefore something he’s always allowed himself to believe but he is learning to be himself and accept himself because at the End of the day, love is only for the brave. But finally after all this questioning after being told he’s sick, being told he has a devil in him he finally in Out of my System finally sheds off these traumas finally learns to accept who he is ‘Demons, I’m taking all of my demons’ he’s collecting the parts of him that he’s been told are wrong the parts he should hate the ‘devil in his brain’ but he’s ‘putting them where he can’t see them’ because he doesn’t need them anymore he doesn’t want to listen to this trauma because he’s grown from that, he’s getting it Out of his system because he’s finally accepted who he is and he’s being true to himself.

There’s a lot of dark connotations to religious lyricism and the guilt that shines through is prevalent this theme carries through so much of his song writing and it’s truly beautiful like I could truly go on about it (but I won’t I promise). There are countless examples of other motifs and ideas he uses in his lyricism but this is one I’ve never truly seen get truly addressed and it’s in my opinion one of his deepest and most painful themes because of the trauma that comes through the terrifying feeling of trying to be yourself of learning to accept yourself and honestly you don’t even need to look too hard to hear and see the queer connotations that cover such a theme.

[enchantedlandcoffee]

It's a church of burnt romances And I'm too far gone to pray It's a solo song, and it's ONLY FOR THE BRAVE

[holidayslinger]

Fic authors self rec! When you get this, reply with your favorite five fics that you've written, then pass on to at least five other writers! Spread the self-love 💞

OH MY OKAY this is kind of hard let me start with the 9-1-1 fics im super proud of since that's my current fandom.

(This was actually REALLY hard! I am so critical of my own work I was at first like...am i...proud...of anything????)

as the decade would play us for fools (buck/eddie, met a different way au, teen and up) - This isn't my first fic in this fandom, but it's definitely my most popular, and I reread it the other night and I'm really happy with out it turned out.

Buck and Eddie met in basic training. Buck hasn't seen Eddie since the day he left the army, but he's never forgotten him.

pauses, then says you're my best friend (buck/eddie, sm au, general audiences) This was just a lot of fun to write and it's totally self indulgent but a full SM fic was so new for me that I had a lot of fun and I was just proud of how I could tell a story in this way!

aka swiftie firefighters

Now for the TL fics because I've by and far written more in that fandom, and it definitely has some of my best work.

(with your boots beneath my bed) forever is the sweetest con (jamie/roy, mature, casual hook ups to boyfriends) This is by far my most popular fic to date. It's got almost 3k kudos, which is just wild to me. It's still constantly getting comments which thrills me. People have told me it's a comfort fic for them, and nothing makes me happier to hear. I'm just really fucking proud of this one.

Jamie is truly a fucking enigma. Last night he’d shown up to Roy’s looking like he just needed anyone to be there for him, with no explanation. Today he’s just acting like a fucking twat again, and he’s honestly confusing and messy and Roy doesn’t need it.

Jamie is a 23 year old twat, and Roy is way too fucking old for this.

it's a church of burnt romances (and i'm too far gone to pray) (jamie/roy, mature, banter au, nonbinary jamie, getting together) Nonbinary jamie was just something that really - I'd been thinking about it so long and it was so special to me. I love this one so so much. It's not my most popular, but I'm still really proud of it.

the jamie/roy bantr au no one asked for, featuring nonbinary jamie tartt

but i'm a fire and i'll keep your bitter heart warm (jamie/roy, depressed jamie, marbella trip) This was HARD to write, if I'm being honest. It's the fic I think I've drawn the most from my personal experience for, and it just hit really close. I think I'm so proud of it because it seemed to resonate with people.

It’s tough enough to get through the day while keeping up as much of the old Jamie as he possibly can before he’s just ready to collapse into bed and sleep for twelve hours. He just needs everyone to see that he’s okay. Maybe somewhere deep down he thinks if they believe it, he’ll start believing it. Maybe he just wants to be left alone. He doesn’t really know anymore.

[targentis]

okay, this might be super rambly but,,, Agarthans (note that most of the canon stuff about the Agarthans is like pretty vague? but i’ll try to cover most of it in a way that kind of makes sense)

IN THE BEGINNING, Sothis arrived in Fódlan in the area of Zanado. according to the church, she then like created all life, but who knows whether that’s true. the timeline is a little bit funky around here, but conflict grew between her and the local humans, and eventually some fought against her and probably destroyed large portions of the world. from Romance of the World’s Perdition:

To this end, the children of men have erected pillars of light upon the land. Thinis, Malum, Septen, and Llium were utterly destroyed. Those lands have vanished from this world. Yet even still, the False God stands. And soon, a flood aptly named Despair will drown this world.

this reads to me like the use of javelins of light, so the proto-Agarthans probably essentially nuked the world. they then fled the destroyed surface to inhabit what’s now Shambhala, and swore to one day succeed in destroying the Goddess:

The children of men fled to the depths of the earth, beyond the sight of the False God, beyond the embrace of the sacred sun, and beyond the reach of the waters of Despair. They swore a fervent oath of revenge against the surface world, ruled by beasts, and against their tormentor, the False God.

much time passed as Sothis healed the world, and at some point (unclear if it was before or after this conflict with the proto-Agarthans), she created the Nabateans. they became the rulers of the humans who now lived on the surface again. tensions eventually came to a head again, as humans grew dissatisfied with their Nabatean rulers, and the Agarthans took advantage of this opportunity. from the Nintendo Dream interview:

Those Who Slither in the Dark wanted to overturn this state of affairs (of the Nabateans as rulers) and as such, they devised schemes. They granted humans the technology to make powerful weapons from the corpses of the citizens of Nabatea, or so was their plan that they enacted, to which they went forward with this plan using the human, Nemesis. As a result, what would happen to humans who gained power… they would want even more power, and find a dragon much stronger to beat in order to collect materials forcefully, in order to make even more powerful weapons… and so that was the cycle that was born. And that was the birth of Fodlan’s Ten Elites.

of note, it seems like the Elites weren’t aware of what they were really doing, or of that Agarthan involvement. from Fragments of a Forgotten Memoir:

Why does Seiros despise us so? What did King Nemesis do to incur such unyielding wrath? Perhaps it was a mistake to accept his offer. In any case, that is all in the distant past now… ______and before this body falls to ash, the evil…

this is what led to the genocide of the Nabateans, as Nemesis + co. killed them off to turn them into Relics. Seiros survived, and eventually gathered the strength of the surviving Nabateans and supportive human allies, and defeated Nemesis and the Elites. with the end of this war, the Adrestian Empire, founded by Seiros’s good buddy Wilhelm, spread across all of Fódlan.

the Agarthans slithered back to Shambhala for a while. at some point, they also started a plan to bring back Nemesis and the Elites, though that wouldn’t be completed for a long long time.

there isn’t a whole lot of lore detailed for quite a while here, but several hundred years later (in the mid-700s), Loog, a descendant of the Elite Blaiddyd, led a rebellion in the northern empire. he got many of the other descendants of the Elites on his side, but they were still severely outnumbered by the empire itself. the Agarthans, wanting to sow discord in human lands, supported Loog in this endeavor. from Burnt Remnants of a Report:

…the Faerghus Rebellion. I harbor doubts about the army Loog has raised. How did he recruit soldiers without raising suspicions in the Empire? How did he acquire those mysterious weapons, so like Heroes' Relics? What is the true identity of Pan, the tactician rumored to have been integral to Loog's victories? And Those Who Slither in the Dark…

it appears that the Agarthans sent an advisor in the guise of this Pan to direct Loog, and supplied his forces with powerful Agarthan weapons to defeat the Adrestian forces and secure Faerghus’s independence. perhaps they hoped this would lead to a revival of Nemesis’s kingdom, given that it, too, was located in what’s now Faerghus, but the specifics are unclear.

regardless, it seems that they later lost hope in their plans in Faerghus. about a hundred years later, King Klaus I of Faerghus died, and the country split among his three heirs. although two of them reunited, this is what led to Leicester becoming an independent country. Klaus’s death may have been orchestrated by the Agarthans as another attempt at sowing discord in Fódlan to soften it up for their future schemes. also from Burnt Remnants of a Report:

The shadowed order of the Knights of Seiros believes that King Klaus I of Faerghus was assassinated… Everyone believes that his will, which demands the territory be divided among the three princes and fails to name a successor, is a fake.

could have been assassinated by someone else, but given that Burnt Remnants is an investigation into Agarthan activity, it seems that whoever put it together figured they were related.

things with the Agarthans seem to have calmed down for a while, or at least whatever they did wasn’t as obvious or relevant to the modern state of Fódlan. by the time period of the games, they seem to have upped their activity once again, causing chaos everywhere they can. they bodysnatched a few prominent figures, most notably Cornelia Arnim, the recently appointed court mage of Faerghus; Volkhard von Arundel, brother-in-law to the Emperor and uncle of Edelgard; and Tomas, trusted librarian at Garreg Mach. they used these positions and others to do things such as:

orchestrate the tragedy of Duscur. Cornelia (Cleobulus) convinced not-yet-bodysnatched Volkhard to bring his sister Anselma to Fhirdiad to escape court politics in Enbarr. Anselma took the name Patricia, and Lambert took her as his wife. as time went on, she wished to see her daughter again, and was convinced by Cornelia that she could do so by helping her orchestrate the tragedy of Duscur. Lambert got assassinated, as did some of his closest advisors and guards, but Anselma only participated on the condition that Dimitri lived, so he was spared. she herself disappeared during the tragedy, and was never seen again. (the fact that the people of Faerghus responded by blaming and committing genocide against the people of Duscur doesn’t seem to have been in the Agarthans’ original plans, but given the fact that they’re Evil, i don’t think they’re too upset about it)

Crest implantation experiments. House Hrym tried to secede from the empire, with assistance from House Ordelia just across the border, but their rebellion was put down by Adrestian forces. House Hrym was killed off, and House Ordelia’s territory was occupied. Agarthans who had embedded themselves inside the Adrestian power structure took this opportunity to experiment on House Ordelia’s children, which Lysithea survived, having received a second Crest. afaik her siblings died? it’s likely, at least. later on, after the Insurrection of the Seven, they did the same thing to House Hresvelg’s children. all died (or ended up in a practically dead state) except Edelgard, who took to her second Crest better than Lysithea, thanks to the extra practice the Agarthans had gotten.

the assassination of Oswald. the Agarthans set up some Demonic Beasts along the roads of Leicester. this led to the death of Oswald, the current Duke Riegan’s son (and Claude’s uncle), as well as Raphael’s parents, who were merchants along that route. Count Gloucester was implicated in this plot, which heightened tensions in Leicester as well.

god knows what they were doing with Flayn. they probably wanted her blood (possibly to use it in their Elite resurrection experiments?) or maybe she was just a red herring to allow for Kronya to infiltrate the monastery as Monica, who had disappeared a year prior.

that kinda covers up to the start of the game!! idk if you were looking for background lore, or also events that happens during the course of the game. i can rant about those too if needed

cited sources and everything too! damn!

thank you for this incredible resource yet again. with the map of fódlan you also made, my fics will be researched to hell and back <3

[ash-and-books]

Rating: 4.5/5

Book Blurb: Set in the same universe as the acclaimed All the Murmuring Bones and The Path of Thorns (one of Oprah Daily's Top 25 Fantasy Novels of 2022), this beautifully told Gothic fairy tale of ghosts, witches, deadly secrets and past sins, will be perfect for fans of Hannah Whitten and Ava Reid.

Ellie Briar is the first non-witch to be born into her family for generations. The Briar family of witches run the town of Silverton, caring for its inhabitants with their skills and magic. In the usual scheme of things, they would be burnt for their sorcery, but the church has given them dispensation in return for their protection of the borders of the Darklands, where the much-feared Leech Lords hold sway. 

Ellie is being trained as a steward, administering for the town, and warding off the insistent interest of the church. When her grandmother dies suddenly, Ellie’s cousin Audra rises to the position of Briar Witch, propelling Ellie into her new role. As she navigates fresh challenges, an unexpected new ability to see and speak to the dead leads her to uncover sinister family secrets, stories of burnings, lost grimoires and evil spells. Reeling from one revelation to the next, she seeks answers from the long dead and is forced to decide who to trust, as a devastating plot threatens to destroy everything the Briar witches have sacrificed so much to build.

Told in the award-winning author's trademark gorgeous, addictive prose, this is an intricately woven tale of a family of witches struggling against the bonds of past sins and persecution.

Review:

A family of witches, a girl who can communicate with ghosts, sins from the past, and murders.... this is a fantastic and fun gothic witchy story with a dash of romance and complicated family relationships. Ellie Briar is the first non-witch to be born into her family for generations, and in a well known witch family such as the Briar Witches, being a non-witch makes you seen as less. The Briar family of witches run the town of Silverton, being tasked with looking after the community and people with their skills and magic. Ellie is being trained as a steward despite her lack of magic, she is to do administration for the town and ward off the church that has taken an interest in them. When her grandmother dies, Ellie's cousin Audra is made the new head Briar Witch and Ellie is made the steward. While Ellie navigates her new role she also discovers that she has a power she never realized, and no one in her family ever talked about, she can talk to ghosts and its up to her to help them move on. It comes in handle especially with so many ghosts in town and a recent death looming over the town. To make matters more complicated there is a new god-hound in town, someone sent by the church yet he's taken a particular interest in Ellie. As Ellie discovers her new abilities she also begins to uncover dark family secrets... that are playing into the dark plot that is happening right in front of her that she has to find a way to stop before it destroys everything Ellie holds dear. This was a really fun read and the story gets you really immersed in the town and the people. Ellie was a really interesting protagonist and I loved her journey and growth throughout the story. The story is much more focused on the mystery and family drama and has a dash of romance but its much more about the family relationship and power dynamics in them. The story is a gothic witchy one with a dash of mystery and romance all set in a small community and it was the perfect cozy day read for me. I've always loved A.G. Slatter's books and this one did not disappoint. I can't wait to see what story A.G. Slatter comes out with and I love that it's set in the same universe as their previous two novels ( which I also love and highly recommend).

*Thanks Netgalley and Titan Books for sending me an arc in exchange for an honest review*