#a church of burnt romances

[apricusapollo]

who do i have to pay and how much to get eddie realising he's gay and in love with buck while only the brave by louis tomlinson plays in the background

[lostbookmark]

MDNI 🔞

Main Masterlist here

Finding Masterlist here

Summary: After a failed engagement, you move back home and reconnect with your friends. Maybe, just maybe you can find love with someone you never expected.

Pairing: Yoongi x F. Reader

Warnings: Explicit Sex, Swearing, Cheating (Not Yoongi), Fighting, Protected/Unprotected Sex, Toxic Past Relationship,

Genre: Enemies(?) to Lovers, Neighbors to Lovers, Small Town romance. Hurt-Comfort, Slight Angst, Romance

A/N: So, this chapter was supposed to be spicy. However, it didn't feel right. So, I chopped the chapter in half and did some rewriting. The spice will return next week.

The insistent knocking on your kitchen door was loud and annoying. You sigh and burrow yourself further into your lumpy couch, trying to hide away from the world. You cover yourself quickly with a burnt orange throw blanket with white tassels hanging off the ends that you pull off the back of the couch cushions. You don't think that it's hiding you very well, but you would rather not risk getting up and running upstairs, causing you to be seen by your unwanted visitor. You figured it was only a matter of time that whoever it was would go away soon. Maybe it was Namjoon wanting to talk about you leaving your teaching position next year. Maybe it was Hobi ready to comfort you or Jin to yell at you for backing out of his restaurant/bakery idea. Maybe it was some church looking for a donation. 

Suddenly, the knocking stopped, but you hear the lock on the door unlock with a click not long after followed by the door opening . The unwanted visitor turned intruder knew where the key was. Jungkook, maybe, but you doubt it. Yoongi, no, you haven't even heard his garage open since that night with Changkyun. You don't think he is leaving his house. That was three nights ago. You actually didn't hear from anyone in the three nights since the fight. Whoever it was, they just needed to go away. 

You can hear their footsteps in your kitchen and the spare key hitting your table. The footsteps make their way into your living room before they stop. You hold your breath and try not to move, hoping that they mistake your hidden form for your lumpy couch cushions. Of course, you have no such luck when your blanket is ripped from your body and tossed across the room. 

“Are you leaving?” Yoongi asks, towering over you and looking pissed. 

“Oh my god, Yoongi,” you say when you get a good look at his face. Sitting up, you bring your hands up to your mouth in shock. The skin around his eye was a colorful mix of red and dark purple. It looked like it was painful. “Your eye.”

“ARE. YOU. LEAVING?” He asks once more and louder than before ignoring your concern for him. You hesitate before you give your head a slight nod, confirming his words. “I thought you didn't like the city. You said you didn’t belong there.”

“I don't belong here either,” you tell him. 

“Bullshit,” Yoongi snaps. 

“You don't want me. My friends aren't talking to me. Why should I stay?” You ask, staring up at him. “You've turned everyone against me.”

“What are you talking about? What do you mean I don't want you?” Yoongi asks in confusion. “When did I say that?” 

“You kicked me out of your house. You shrugged me off when all I wanted to do was help you the other night,” you say, explaining yourself. “Your actions speak loud and clear. I get it.”

“Well sorry for getting embarrassed that I got my ass kicked in front of my girlfriend,” he snaps at you again. 

“Girlfriend!” You exclaim, jumping up from the couch and quickly looking around the room as if you're looking for someone to jump out at any given moment. “Who is this girlfriend that you speak of? You better leave before she finds you over here.” 

“Very funny,” he says, glaring at you and then proceeding to plop down on your couch. He sighs, resting his elbows against his knees and places his head in his hands.  You cross your arms, still standing in the same spot, staring at him. “I shouldn't have kicked you out of my house. That was wrong of me, and I'm sorry. I've done nothing but wish I could take it all back, but I can't.” 

You look at him sitting there on your horribly uncomfortable couch. His head hangs low as his gaze is locked on your floor like he's defeated. He feels bad. You know that he feels bad. You run your hand through your hair with a loud sigh. Biting your bottom lip in thought, you shift from side to side.

“I shouldn't have said that you were using me,” you admit as you sit down on your couch next to him. Silently, he reaches his hand out, wiggling his fingers tentatively at you. You cautiously smile and take his hand, leaning into his body to rest your head on his shoulder, but he hisses in discomfort at the contact. You pull away quickly at his sound of pain and lift his shirt to reveal a large bruise covering the majority of his ribs. “You're ribs! Oh my god, Yoongi.”

“I'm fine,” he said, not looking at you. 

You get up from the couch and move to the other side of him. You lean in and heistate, looking at him for the okay. He nods his head, and you finally touch him by putting your head on his shoulder. He takes one of your hands into both of his, rubbing his thumbs along your soft skin. 

“I will sell you the recipes,” you say quietly. “Me being stubborn isn't worth what we just went through. I'll always have the memories. I don't need to gatekeep them.” 

“No,” he says, shaking his head. “I don't want you to sell these to us because we made you feel guilty. I knew deep down that you weren't greedy, and I'm sorry that I made it about money. I was upset because I wanted you to trust my intentions with them, but you didn't trust me. I understand now. I should have gone to you first before anyone else.” 

“I do trust you. I wish I never doubted you,” you admit to him softly as you drop a kiss to his shoulder. “What do we do now?” You ask, looking out your window and catching your reflection in the glass against the darkness of the outside. 

“You don't leave for one. Two, we sit down and have a conversation with Jin about the restaurant and bakery. Three, you come back to my place and we go to bed. I've slept like shit and I'm exhausted,” Yoongi tells you, looking quickly out of the corner of his eye at you before looking away as if you would deny him. 

“What will your girlfriend think?” you ask teasingly. 

“Are you coming or not?” He asks, standing up and looking at you expectantly. 

“Fine,” you say, agreeing to go with him. 

Yoongi cups your face with both of his hands and pulls you into him. He presses his lips firmly against your own. He pulls away not long after, with a small sigh escaping his lips. His thumbs trace along your jawline, and he stares at you. You smile at him. One more kiss to your lips, he takes your hand, leading you through your house. Hitting the light switches on the way out, you lock your house up. Descending your stairs, you immediately stop and look up toward the night sky.

“Oh, Yoongi. It's snowing,” you gasp. Holding your hand out toward the darkened sky, you watch the white delicate snowflakes land in the palm of your hand under the lights from your porch. They melt immediately as they hit the warmth of your skin. You're not sure why, but it feels amazing. Like it's the start of something new. “The first snow is always so beautiful.” 

Yoongi pulls you into his warmth, wrapping his arms around you. Leaning down into you, he buries his face into the crook of your neck. Your hands run up and down his back, hugging him back as you stand at the bottom of your porch as the snow falls slowly around you. 

“I'm scared you're going to leave,” he whispers against your neck, voice wobbling. “I don't want you to go. Please, don't go. Please, I'm sorry. I'm so sorry.”

Your heart breaks. You didn't think he was going to be this affected. You were wrong. You may have been wrong about a lot of things. 

“I'm right here,” you whisper, pulling back from him. The icy crystals cling to his hair as he takes your hand once more after quickly wiping at his eyes. “I'm not going anywhere.”

“Promise?” He asks unsurly, resting his forehead against yours. 

“Promise,” you answer whispering to him. 

Yoongi pulls you along across the driveway to his home. His warm home. His warm, cozy home with his king-sized bed. You missed it, you missed him.  His smell, his chapped lips, you missed everything about him. Squeezing his hand in your own, you let him lead you up his steps. Opening the door, you enter and smile. 

It feels like home.  

Wide awake, you find yourself in his bed with his arm slung over your side, hand cupping your breast under your shirt, staring at the shadows of trees moving in the night as they danced across his wall. You feel him tighten his hold on you and bury his face further into your hair. He wasn't joking when he said he was tired, opting to crawl in bed and hold you instead of ripping each other's clothes off for makeup sex. It was probably for the best. You were just as emotionally drained as he was. 

“Can't sleep?” He asks, breath tickling your neck.

“How did you know?” You ask back.

“I can just tell,” he answers quietly. “What's wrong?” 

“It's my fault that you and Changkyun got into a fight,” you say into the stillness of the room. 

“I'm the one who jumped at him. You didn't make me do that,” he tells you, trying to ease your worries. “After the way he was treating you….I would do it again.” 

“I lied to him,” you admit. Yoongi pushes himself onto his elbow to look down at you in his moonlit room.  You turn slightly onto your back, gazing up at him. His features were just barely visible in the darkened room. “I didn't pawn the engagement ring. I just wanted to piss him off. If I had just given it to him, he would have left, and the fight wouldn't have happened. He would have been gone before you even had a chance to jump between us.” 

“You still have it?” He questions.

“Yeah, I don't know why I kept it,” you say. “I feel kind of pathetic still holding on to it. What should I do with it? Should I give it back?” 

“That's up to you,” he says. “I say get what you can from it and splurge a little. Treat yourself to something nice. He doesn't deserve to have it back.”

“Would you want to go away with me for a weekend?” You ask, looking up at him. “Get away from here for a couple of days.” 

“You want to go away?” he asks, rubbing your ribcage gently, and you hum in confirmation. “Book it, and I'll be there.”

You smile, pulling him down to you, giving him a quick kiss before he resumes his position behind you. Arm around your middle, hand cupping your breast under your shirt, face buried in your neck. You let your eyes drift shut, trying to focus on the rise and fall of his chest. Taking in the rhythm, you can feel yourself start to relax and sink into a welcoming sleep.

“What did you mean when you said I turned everyone against you?” Yoongi asks, making your eyes pop open. 

Without a word, you come up on your elbow, reaching across to the nightstand beside you. Grabbing your phone, you wake the screen and open your messages. You hesitate for a minute before you hand it over to him with your group texts from Jimin and Tae open for his viewing. 

Yoongi takes your device and lets his eyes scan the conversation. You watch his eyebrows furrow in the light of your screen. His jaw clenched as he took in his friends' words. The accusations of ruining friendships over money. Harsh words of you trying to split the group in half. Saying Yoongi deserved better. 

“I…I didn't know they were saying these things,” he says softly as he rereads the messages. “I don't feel this way. You have to believe me. I never thought…”

“It's okay,” you say in a small voice. 

“No, it's absolutely not okay,” he counters, tiredly. Yoongi turns off your phone and places it back in its original spot. “We will get everything figured out. Don't you worry.”

Yoongi settles back down, holding you just a little bit tighter. Closing your eyes once more, you try to do exactly as he says. You try not to worry. Instead, you think of your getaway. You and Yoongi, alone, relaxing, getting back to where you should be. It couldn't come soon enough. 

Tannie Farms Headquarters was in a converted barn. The top half of the barn looked like it was used for storage. Bins upon bins were stacked on top of each other, holding …well you didn’t know, but you're sure it was probably important. Several machines and printers were also situated up there for Jungkook and his art projects.  The bottom level held Yoongi's and Tae's offices and a large meeting room where you are currently sitting. Your foot taps nervously against the hardwood floor as you look around.  Reclaimed wood walls and farmhouse pendant lighting with a very neutral color palette. You wonder if Kook was responsible for the work that was done. The color scheme didn't stray far from what was in your house.

“Okay,” Jin says, clearing his throat. He stands in front of seven of you in a perfectly fitted suit and tie, looking very much like a professional businessman. Everyone else sat around the round table in their regular street clothes. Something that he was very disappointed to see.  “Since funds are not an issue for Jin's Jolly…”

“We are not calling it that,” Yoongi says, interrupting him as he sits back in his chair with his arms crossed. 

“We will….discuss that later. As I was saying before I was RUDELY interrupted. We need to find a location. My parents are not willing to sell the cafe to us,” Jin explains. 

“There's not room to add on a bakery there anyway,” Jungkook adds.  “Building from the ground up would take at least a year if not more.”

“What about Cottage Lodge?” Hobi asks. “It's been vacant for a couple of years now.”

“It does have a professional kitchen,” Yoongi says, nodding his head. “It also has a large open area for tables.” 

“Plenty of space to add a bakery on the other side,” Joon says, speaking up. 

“It's going to need a lot of work. We have to add a whole bakery kitchen, and it's pretty outdated,” Jimin throws his two cents in.

“I'd rather renovate it than build a whole new building,” Tae adds. “We can save a lot of money by doing a lot of the work ourselves.”

“You mean by me doing a lot of the work,” Kook says, glaring at his friend.

You stay quiet as they throw ideas around at each other. This is the first time you have been in the same room with all of them at once since everything went down. In fact, this is the first time seeing Tae and Kook since the incident in the driveway about a week ago. For Jimin, it's been about a month. It felt strange to be here with them acting like nothing was wrong. Like you were a part of their team, all working together to build Jin’s dream. Everyone seemed relaxed and perfectly fine. You, you felt like you were suffocating. Your shoulders were tense as if you were waiting for a bomb to drop. You wanted to leave. 

“We are a small town,” Joon says, breaking you out of your thoughts. “We will have to really promote the hell out of it.” 

“We have a lot of great contacts. I'm not too worried about it,” Yoongi answers. “Jimin and Hobi have a pretty solid online presence that will help.”

“I can finally set up and run the Tannie Farms social media,” Jimin pipes in. “We can create a website for reservations and online ordering.” 

“I have a good solid idea about the menu offerings,” Jin says and looks at you. “Have you thought about the bakery menu, Y/N?” 

“Oh,” you say, looking around the table quickly. All eyes were on you. “Ummm, no…not…really.” Yoongi slides his hand onto your leg. Gently, he rubs soothing circles over the fabric of your jeans. You take a deep breath and lightly clear your throat. “I can go through all the recipes tonight and send you some ideas.” 

“Perfect,” Yoongi says. “Joon, call the realtor and schedule an appointment for all of us to tour the lodge. Any day after school work for you?” He asks, looking at you, making you nod your head nervously. “Great. We will reconvene after we secure a location.” Everyone starts to stand up to leave, but when you try to follow, Yoongi's hand on your leg holds you down. “You three stay.”

Everyone in the room stops and looks at Yoongi. He turns his attention to Jin, Hobi, and Joon, giving them a head nod that motions to the door. They seem to understand his silent command and leave the meeting room promptly. 

“We have places to be too,” Jimin said, looking at his friend. “Can we do this later?”

“Nope,” he said seriously, shaking his head. “I want to know whose brilliant idea it was to send Y/N those messages?” 

“What messages?” Kook asks, looking confused. “I didn't send any messages.” 

“Yoongi, it's fine,” you hiss in his ear, but he wasn't having any of it. 

“Who came up with the idea that she was tearing apart the friend group? Telling her that she was greedy?” Yoongi asks in an eerily calm voice. “That I deserved better than her?”

“You guys said that to her?” Kook asks, looking at his best friends with disappointment etched on his face. They wouldn't look at him. Quickly, he walks over to you, scooping you out of your seat as he hugs you. Your feet were dangling off the floor as he held you tightly. “I'm sorry, Y/N. Everyone was so mad at each other, and I just didn't know what to do. I should have checked in on you, but I was afraid they would get mad at me. So, I just kept to myself instead. I'm a horrible friend.”

“You're not horrible, Kook. I probably would have done the same,” you tell him, tapping his shoulder to let you down. He sets you back down, and you give him a small smile. 

“I'll do better. I swear,” he promises. 

Yoongi pats him on the back. Jungkook gives you one more hug before he leaves the room. You look back at the two friends that he left behind. They still wouldn't look at you or Yoongi. You're not sure what to make of their actions. 

“What about you two?” Yoongi asks Jimin and Tae, who in turn look at each other. “Hmm?”

“We were just trying to help you,” Jimin says. “We just wanted her to give you the recipes.” 

“BY BULLYING HER!” He exclaims. “I didn't ask you to get involved. No wonder she thought I hated her. She almost left! Do you understand that? You almost lost her again. I almost lost her. I FINALLY HAD HER, AND I ALMOST LOST HER!”

“OKAY!” Jimin yells back. “I will take responsibility for setting up the group chat and half of those messages. Y/N, I'm sorry for the messages, but don't blame us for your relationship issues.”

“We were just trying to be loyal to you. It just got out of control,” Taehyung admits to Yoongi and then turns to you. “I never hated you, Y/N. Jimin and I unfairly attacked you. We should have stayed out of it and let Yoongi handle it. He didn't put us up to anything. Jimin, tell her.”

Jimin still doesn't look at you. He doesn't look at anything except for the floor, which seems to aggravate Yoongi. Yoongi moves to step up to Jimin, but you grab the back of his sweatshirt, pulling him back to you. This was getting way out of hand. 

“Jimin?” Tae says his name in what you think is a pleading tone. His teary eyes snap back to you. “Jin told us that we made you cry. He yelled at me for over an hour and said not to approach you until you were ready. So, I’ve been staying away this past week. I never wanted to make you cry. We didn't mean the things we said. I swear it. We're just being stupid.”

“Thank you, Tae,” you tell him softly. 

“Can I hug you?” He asks, full-out sobbing now. As soon as you nod your head, Tae leaps at you, almost knocking you over. It takes Yoongi steadying you, preventing you from falling down. “I promise never to make you cry again.” 

“What about you, Jimin?” Yoongi asks, way more calmly than before. 

“I want to talk to her alone,” Jimin says.

“No,” Yoongi cuts in automatically. 

“Yoongi, it's fine,” you speak up, trying to pull away from Taehyung’s clingy self, but he wouldn't let go. “I want to speak to him alone.” 

Yoongi's eyes go back and forth between you and his friend. His shoulders slump in defeat, letting you win this one.  Nodding his head, he pulls Taehyung away from you, leading him to the door of the meeting room. He shuts the door behind them, giving you and Jimin some privacy. You look at him, watching as he tentatively looks around the room for the moment before finally settling on you.

“What the fuck, Jimin?” You say. “I never thought our friendship would ever come down to shitty text messages like that.” 

“Well I never thought you would turn your back on us again, but here we are,” he says back, making you frown at him. “Don't look at me like that. We may not have been mad that you ditched us for your asshole boyfriend and then acted like we didn't exist, but that doesn't mean it didn't hurt. Everyone acted like everything was fine when you came back, but dammit you hurt us. It was like our friendship meant nothing to you.”

“Jimin,” you say, trying to butt in, but he wouldn't let you. 

“No, I'm not saying Yoongi's completely innocent in everything that happened, but you were the one that assumed everyone was against you and was going to run away again. Yes, Tae and I took the messages too far, and I'm sorry for that. However, YOU tried to make it seem like everyone had to choose you or Yoongi,” his voice started to raise. “When everyone wasn't rushing to you, you tried to leave. Hobi would have been devastated. He kept wondering if he did something wrong the first time around, blaming himself for not being a good friend. This would have killed him. I'm not going to let you hurt Yoongi like that.” 

“I…I,” you didn't know what to say. “I can't change the past, and I'll always feel bad about what happened, but I'm not going anywhere. I'm not going to hurt Yoongi….or anyone else. I won't hurt you again.” Jimin looks up at the ceiling, unblinking, trying hard not to cry. “I’m sorry I hurt you, Jimin.”

The silence in the room was heavy. Your fingers fiddle with one another as you watch him still staring up at the ceiling. You knew he acted out of pain. Pain from years ago. His pain, Hobi's pain. Pain that you hope he was finally able to let go of.  

“I'm sorry too,” he breathes out, finally letting the pooling tears go. 

You watch the teardrops fall down his beautiful, angelic face. Slowly, almost as if you were afraid to scare him, you take a couple of tentative steps forward to stand in front of him. Jimin reaches out, pulling you to him and wrapping you in the tightest hug that you think you have ever had.  You know that everything's not fine, and clearly, you still need to mend your friendships, but it felt like a step in the right direction. No matter how long it takes, you will prove to them that they can count on you. You will prove to them that you are all in. No more running away. Never again.

Plopping down on Yoongi's couch, he looks over at you and places his book down on his coffee table. You nervously look at him as you drum your fingers on the decorative box in your hands. Tilting his head to the side, he waits for you to make the first move. Sighing, you hold the box out for him to take from you.

“What is it?” He asks, taking the offering from you. 

“Every recipe I have,” you tell him. Placing the box in his lap, he looks at you questioningly before looking at the wooden container. “I told you that I trust you. After my talk with Jimin, I figured that I really needed to prove to everyone that I'm all in. I hope that you can trust me on that, just like I trust you.”

“You don't have to do this,” he tells you, trying to give the box back to you, but you shake your head no. 

“I want to,” you say softly. “You and Jin can go through all of them and decide what ones you want to keep. I don't know the first thing about building a menu or prices. Also, I'm sorry I was going to leave.”

“Come here,” Yoongi tells you, moving the box to the side, and he holds his hand out to you. Taking it, he pulls you onto his lap. “I kept telling myself to go over and talk to you. I knew that I needed to apologize, but once I would step foot outside….I chickened out. Instead, I hid away and worried about you. I was worried if you were eating and sleeping, and every time I asked about you, I got shut down. Joon had to yell at me about getting my head out of my ass because you were going to leave. I don't think I ever felt panic like that before.” 

“We both need to get better at talking,” you tell him, and he nods his head in agreement. “I'm also not going to let my trauma from Changkyun dictate my relationships anymore. I need to learn that not everyone is out to get me.”

“SHIT!” He exclaims, sitting straight up and almost knocking you off his lap. Quickly, he wraps his arm around you to stop you from falling. “Are you okay? He fucking pushed you. Did you get hurt?”

“No,” you say quickly. “I didn't get hurt.” 

“I would have never forgiven myself if you had gotten hurt,” he tucks your head into the side of his neck. Inhaling, you close your eyes and take in the scent of him. It hasn't changed since that day he helped you make the oobleck for your kids. It comforted you. “I better never see him again.”

“Oh? What would you do?” You ask with a slight laugh. 

“I'll make Kook deal with him. I clearly can't fight,” he said with a slight pout.

“You got a couple good jabs in,” you say, pressing a kiss to his cheek. “He definitely looked like he was going to throw up when you got him in the stomach.”

“Yeah?” He asks, taking your lips with his own.

“Yeah,” you answer as you pull away. “Besides, who gets the last laugh when he pays for our little getaway?” 

“Oh, I'm going to enjoy the hell out of it,” he says, hugging you once again. 

For the first time that you came back, you finally felt like you were truly moving on. No more tip-toeing around the bad choices of your past. No more wondering why you weren't good enough. You are finally in a good place, and you couldn't wait to see what the future holds. 

《 Chapter Twelve 》

Tagged Readers: 

@mar-lo-pap , @bontensbabygirl , @daisies-and-dandelionpuffs , @redragdoll, @svnbangtansworld , @wobblewobble822 , @busanbby-jjk , @pitchblack0309 , @bluesiebirdie , @thelilbutifulthings  

[1dtrickortreatfest]

1D Trick Or Treat Fest 2024 - Masterpost

🧙🏻‍♀️🎃🧟💀 Please find below the full list of our Halloween-inspired ficlets written for this year’s fest, each one exactly 666 words long. Will you find a trick or a treat? 🧙🏻‍♀️🎃🧟💀

All the Words We Don't Want to Hear lululawrence | @lululawrence

A Haunting in Doncaster disgruntledkittenface | @disgruntledkittenface

A Romantic Nightmare Neondiamond | @neondiamond

A Slight Situation downcamethelightning | @downcamethelightnings

Break Me Like A Curse LetTheMusicMoveYou | @letthemusicmoveyou28

can't hide from yourself yeah_alright | @uhoh-but-yeah-alright

Harry's Halloween Husband Haul lululawrence | @lululawrence

on the threshold of eternity we_are_the_same | @so-why-let-your-voice-be-tamed

Peaceless Piece berzerkshires | @berzerkshires

The Church of Burnt Romances Darling28 | @darling-28

The Dare Rosann1986 | @wishingicouldfly

"The Demon you’re trying to summon is currently unavailable." red_panda28 | @red-pandaaa

The Kiss of Sleep haztobegood | @haztobegood

🧙🏻‍♀️🎃🧟💀 Please remember to leave all the amazing authors who contributed this year kudos and comments! You can find the collections for previous years here, here, here, here and here. Happy Halloween everyone! 🧙🏻‍♀️🎃🧟💀

[domm1etae]

sent to tempt me - chapter six

chapter six: the tension builds

chapter summary: Yunho’s nerves spiral out of control as he overthinks his upcoming talk with Mingi, seeking refuge with Jisung for advice, but the tension only deepens when he finally returns to the dorm

pairing: yunho x mingi

genre: smut (not yet but there will be eventually), angst, fluff, romance, m/m, non!idol!ateez, sub!yunho, dom!mingi, drama, coming of age, collage, religion

rating: 18+ (for the whole series bc there will be smut eventually) | mdni

word count: 2.6k

warnings under

collage, roommates, sub!yunho, dom!mingi, bad boy mingi and religious church good boy yunho same-sex attraction, m/m, teasing, dark themes, homophobia, self discovery, pet names, strangers to lovers, religion and religious topics, aaaand more will be added soon hehehe

previous chapter | next chapter | AO3 | this fics masterlist

author's note: i’m fully focused on this story right now and not working on anything else, but i’m feeling a bit burnt out. because of that, it’s taking me longer than i’d like to make progress.

Yunho’s head snapped up so fast he nearly dropped his pen. His eyes darted to the back of the room, where Mingi sat.

Mingi wasn’t laughing anymore. He was staring right at Yunho, his face unreadable. The usual grin that always seemed glued to his face had vanished, replaced with something neutral, maybe even serious. It wasn’t outright hostile, but it still sent a chill down Yunho’s spine.

Yunho froze under the weight of that stare. His heart thudded uncomfortably, and his stomach twisted. He wanted to look away—needed to—but his body was apparently on strike. His hands stayed limp on his notebook, and his eyes stayed locked on Mingi’s.

From behind Mingi, his friends were poking him in the sides, laughing and whispering things Yunho couldn’t quite hear. Mingi batted them away, muttering something that made them laugh even harder.

The teacher cleared her throat, drawing the class’s attention. “Alright, that’s all for today. Make sure to grab the handout before you leave!”

The noise of chairs scraping and backpacks zipping filled the room, but Yunho stayed rooted to his seat. He wasn’t about to risk brushing past Mingi at the door.

He glanced toward the back of the room just in time to see Mingi get up and saunter over to the teacher’s desk. Yunho tensed.

“Excuse me, Ms. Kang?” Mingi said, his voice low but firm.

“Yes, Song Mingi?”

“Isn’t it possible to switch partners?” he asked, leaning casually against the edge of her desk.

Yunho’s jaw tightened. He wasn’t sure why the question annoyed him so much, but it did.

Ms. Kang sighed, folding her arms. “The groups are already set. I matched everyone based on the seating chart. It’s fair and random.”

Mingi tilted his head, trying again. “Right, but I mean, just this once? If someone else—”

“No,” she said flatly. “This project will count for a significant part of your final grade. It’s due in two and a half months, and I expect everyone to put in their best effort. That means you and Jeong Yunho need to figure out how to work together. End of discussion.”

Yunho realized, belatedly, that he’d somehow ended up near the teacher’s desk. He wasn’t even sure when he’d stood up. Now, he was just… there, awkwardly standing a few feet from Mingi and Ms. Kang.

Ms. Kang noticed him and raised an eyebrow. “Mr. Jeong, is there something you want to say?”

“Uh, no, ma’am,” Yunho mumbled, shifting his weight from one foot to the other.

Mingi turned slightly, giving Yunho a sidelong glance. It wasn’t exactly hostile, but it wasn’t friendly either. Yunho stared at the floor, pretending to adjust his bag strap.

“Good,” Ms. Kang said firmly. “Now, both of you better get started on this project. I’ll expect updates along the way.” She gave Mingi a pointed look. “Dismissed.”

Mingi didn’t argue further. He nodded once, grabbed his bag, and headed toward the door. Yunho followed at a safe distance, his mind racing with all the ways this could go horribly wrong.

Just as Yunho stepped into the hallway, Mingi turned around, stopping him in his tracks.

“I don’t have time for you right now,” Mingi said, his voice low enough that only Yunho could hear. “But I expect you to be ready to talk about this shit tonight.”

Yunho blinked, startled.

“You’ll be in the dorm, right?” Mingi continued, then smirked. “Oh, wait, why am I even asking? You’re always there. Gee, I wonder why?”

He gave a sarcastic laugh and didn’t wait for Yunho to reply before turning and walking away, his friends falling into step beside him, still laughing about something Yunho couldn’t hear.

Yunho stood there for a moment, staring after him. His stomach churned, and his grip tightened on the strap of his bag.

This was going to be a long two and a half months.

By the time Yunho stumbled into the dorm, his head was an absolute mess. Mingi’s voice seemed to follow him like an annoying echo, bouncing off the walls of his mind.

"I don’t have time for you, but I expect you to be ready to talk about this shit tonight. You’ll be in the dorm, right? Oh wait, why am I asking? You’re ALWAYS there."

Yunho dropped his bag unceremoniously on the floor and slumped against the door, closing his eyes. His heart still hadn’t stopped racing from earlier, and his palms were damp with sweat. The worst part wasn’t even Mingi’s words—it was the way he’d said them. That casual, taunting tone paired with the smirk that was burned into Yunho’s brain.

The smirk wasn’t even that charming. Or that infuriating.

He groaned, kicking his bag away as he made his way to the desk. The thought of sitting still felt impossible, so he grabbed a bottle of water and chugged half of it, hoping it would cool him down. But his nerves weren’t having it.

He sat down at his desk, opening his laptop with trembling hands. “Focus,” he muttered to himself, pulling up his literature assignment. The blank document stared back at him, white and unforgiving.

His fingers hovered over the keyboard, but the only thing he could think about was Mingi.

"You’re always there," Mingi had said. Yunho’s lip curled as he leaned back in his chair, staring at the ceiling. What the hell did that even mean? Was Mingi making fun of him for staying in the dorm? Not everyone had a fan club waiting for them outside of class.

He clicked his pen absentmindedly, the repetitive sound doing little to calm his mind.

"I expect you to be ready to talk about this shit tonight."

The memory of Mingi’s voice sent a shiver down his spine. Yunho hated how authoritative he sounded, like he’d already decided the outcome of their conversation. It was infuriating. And unfair.

Yunho’s thoughts spiraled further.

What if Mingi showed up and immediately laid into him? Told him he wasn’t good enough for the project, that he’d just slow Mingi down? He could picture it so vividly—Mingi towering over him, arms crossed, that stupid smirk back in place.

"Don’t worry, I’ll carry the team. Just try not to mess it up too much, Jeong."

The idea made Yunho’s skin crawl. He rubbed his temples, trying to shake off the mental image. But no matter how hard he tried, his brain conjured up more scenarios, each worse than the last.

Mingi might not even be mean about it. Maybe he’d be dismissive instead, brushing Yunho off entirely.

"I don’t have time to explain everything to you, so just do what I tell you."

Yunho’s jaw clenched. He wasn’t stupid. Sure, Mingi was probably used to being the center of attention, but Yunho wasn’t some clueless kid who needed babysitting.

He huffed, leaning forward and resting his head on the desk. The cool surface felt good against his forehead, but it did nothing to quiet the storm raging inside him.

And then his mind did something completely unhelpful: it wandered into dangerous territory.

What if Mingi wasn’t dismissive or mean? What if he got… weird? Yunho sat up abruptly, shaking his head. No, that was ridiculous.

But the thought had already taken root, blooming into a vivid—and utterly mortifying—scenario.

Mingi would show up, lean against the doorframe like he owned the place, and say something cryptic like, “Do you know why I can’t stand you, Yunho?”

Yunho gulped, his throat suddenly dry.

Mingi would walk closer, his voice dropping lower. “It’s because you’re so damn pretty.”

Yunho’s heart skipped a beat as the mental image unfolded, completely beyond his control.

Mingi would grab his wrist, pulling him to his feet. “I hate how much you distract me,” he’d growl, his grip firm but not painful.

Yunho’s breath hitched.

And then Mingi would tilt his head, his lips brushing—

“STOP!” Yunho shouted, slamming his hands on the desk. The sound echoed in the empty room, making him flinch. He pressed his palms against his cheeks, which were burning hot.

“What is wrong with me?” he muttered, pacing the room. His thoughts were completely out of control, and he had no idea how to reel them back in.

The silence of the dorm suddenly felt oppressive, like the walls were closing in on him. Yunho grabbed his phone, desperate for a distraction. His thumb hovered over the screen before he dialed the only person he could think of.

The line rang twice before Jisung picked up. “Yunho? What’s up?”

“Hey,” Yunho said quickly, his voice strained. “Can I, uh, come over for a bit? Like, right now?”

“Right now?” Jisung sounded surprised, but not annoyed. “Yeah, sure. Everything okay?”

“Yeah, it’s just…” Yunho hesitated, glancing at the door as if Mingi might burst in at any second. “I need to get out of here for a while.”

“Say no more,” Jisung said easily. “Door’s open. Just let yourself in.”

“Thanks, man,” Yunho mumbled, already grabbing his bag.

As he shoved his laptop and notebook inside, his hands trembled. He wasn’t sure if going to Jisung’s dorm would fix anything, but at least he wouldn’t be alone in this suffocating space, waiting for the inevitable.

As Yunho stepped into the hallway, his heart felt a tiny bit lighter. But deep down, he knew this was just a temporary reprieve.

The real storm was still coming.

Yunho knocked twice before pushing the door open, already feeling a little better knowing Jisung would be his sounding board.

Jisung was sprawled on his bed, scrolling through his phone, but as soon as Yunho stepped in, he sat up dramatically, tossing the phone aside. “Okay, spill. What happened with that asshole?”

Yunho blinked, frozen in the doorway. “How do you know it’s about him?”

Jisung raised an eyebrow, lips quirking into a smirk. “What? You think I expected you to be frustrated over something else? Like what—praying too much?” He gave an exaggerated gasp. “Oh no, not enough Bible study hours this week? Heaven forbid!”

Yunho scowled, shutting the door behind him. “Ha ha. Very funny.”

Jisung patted the bed beside him. “Come on, baby boy. Sit your righteous ass down and tell me what Mingi did this time. Oh, and for the record, I did hear someone at school mention Mingi being paired with his dormmate for a project. So yeah, I kinda figured.”

Yunho groaned, dropping his bag onto the floor and collapsing onto the edge of the bed. He rubbed his face with both hands, muffling his voice as he said, “I hate how much everyone knows everything about him.”

“That’s life when you’re the school’s golden boy.” Jisung shrugged. “Now spill.”

Yunho sighed, letting his hands fall to his lap. “Where do I even start?”

“Start with why you looked like you were going to combust when you called me,” Jisung said, crossing his legs under him. “What did he do? Or say? Or—ugh—smirk at you this time?”

Yunho hesitated, then decided to just let it all out. “So, the teacher announced the project partners today. And of course, it’s him.”

Jisung gasped theatrically, clutching his chest. “You mean to tell me the universe is forcing you to spend time with Mr. Perfect? I’m shocked. Truly shocked.”

“Can you stop?” Yunho groaned.

“Fine, fine. Continue.”

“So, after class, he went up to the teacher to ask if he could be paired with someone else,” Yunho admitted, staring down at his hands. “Like, right in front of me.”

Jisung’s jaw dropped. “No way. He didn’t!”

“He did.” Yunho laughed bitterly. “And when the teacher said no, she told us we better figure it out because the project’s a huge part of our grade. And then—” Yunho’s throat tightened as he remembered the encounter. “He walked out of the room and said something to me. Something awful.”

“Spill,” Jisung demanded, leaning forward. “What’d he say?”

Yunho swallowed hard, repeating the words that had been haunting him all afternoon. “He said, ‘I don’t have time for you, but I expect you to be ready to talk about this shit tonight. You’ll be in the dorm, right? Oh wait, why am I asking? You’re always there. Ha ha, guess why, hmm.’”

Jisung’s eyes widened, and for a second, he looked genuinely speechless. Then he flopped back against the bed, arms spread wide. “Oh my God, what a dick.”

“Right?” Yunho threw his hands up. “I don’t even know what he meant by that last part, but it was so condescending.”

“It’s Mingi,” Jisung said with a shrug. “His whole personality is condescension. But damn, that’s… that’s a lot, even for him.”

“I don’t know what to do,” Yunho admitted, voice trembling. “He’s probably going to come over tonight and rip into me, and I’ll just sit there like an idiot because I don’t know how to stand up to him.”

Jisung rolled onto his side, propping his head up with one hand. “Baby, you can’t let him walk all over you. You’ve gotta show him you’re not scared.”

Yunho snorted. “Easier said than done.”

“I know, I know.” Jisung waved a hand dismissively. “But listen. This project’s gonna take, what, like two and a half months? You don’t want to spend all that time doing all the work while he slacks off and takes credit. Trust me, you’ll lose your mind.”

Yunho stared at the floor, biting his lip.

“Look, I know you’re a shy, innocent little church boy who hates conflict,” Jisung teased, poking Yunho in the side. “But you have to fight, Yunho. For your grade. For your sanity. And, like, maybe for your dignity, too.”

Yunho laughed weakly, shaking his head. “You make it sound so easy.”

“It’s not easy,” Jisung said, his tone softening. “But it’s necessary. You don’t have to turn into some badass overnight, okay? Just… hold your ground. Don’t let him intimidate you.”

Yunho nodded slowly, the knot in his chest loosening just a little. “Okay. I’ll try.”

“That’s the spirit.” Jisung grinned, clapping him on the shoulder. “Now, what are we eating? I’m starving.”

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Yunho stood outside the dorm door, his heart racing like it was trying to escape his chest. His hand hovered over the doorknob for a moment before he finally turned it, the click echoing louder than it should have.

The kitchen and living room area were quiet, eerily so. Yunho let the door shut softly behind him, scanning the space for any sign of Mingi. The sink was empty, the table untouched, and the couch was devoid of its usual throw pillows that Mingi always managed to knock to the floor.

A wave of relief washed over him. He’s not here. I still have time.

He sighed quietly and made his way to his room, his steps hesitant despite his newfound reprieve. Once inside, he headed straight for his closet, eager to change out of his day clothes and into something that didn’t feel like it was suffocating him.

Setting his bag down with a soft thud, he pulled open the closet door and reached for a shirt. His hands fumbled slightly, the nerves still alive and well in his system.

And then he heard it.

“Where the fuck have you been?”

Yunho froze, his breath catching in his throat.

The voice wasn’t loud, but it was unmistakable. Deep, smooth, and laced with a casual edge that somehow made it even more unsettling.

Mingi

[pandapodfics]

Panda's Podfics - Halloween Special -

ft. @1dtrickortreatfest

👻 The Church of Burnt Romances by Darling28 / @darling-28

🎃 The Kiss of Sleep by haztobegood / @haztobegood

👻 on the threshold of eternity by we_are_the_same / @so-why-let-your-voice-be-tamed

🎃 Break Me Like A Curse by LetTheMusicMoveYou / @letthemusicmoveyou28

👻 Harry's Halloween Husband Haul by lululawrence / @lululawrence

🎃 All the Words We Don't Want to Hear by lululawrence

👻 Peaceless Piece by berzerkshires / @berzerkshires

🎃 "The Demon you’re trying to summon is currently unavailable." by red_panda28

Listen on Apple Podcast | Spotify Download from MediaFire (31.58MB)

[mangatxt]

top 10 manga i read in 2024:

(please note these are not necessarily published in 2024. just things i read or picked up this year)

the fable / ザ・ファブル by minami katsuhisa (seinen / hitman, yakuza, action, comedy / complete) a famed hitman must lay low under the care of a local yakuza group in osaka for a year, blending into a society he is deeply unfamiliar with. some of the most thoughtful and funniest character writing i've ever read.

adults' picture book / otona no zukan kaiteiban / おとなのずかん改訂版 by itoi kei (seinen / childcare, drama / complete) when his late best friend (and maybe more) passes away, an adult comics mangaka must get his act together to take care of his orphaned daughter, even enlisting the help of a local tax accountant to his new odd family. i think this is one of those series that caught me at the exact right moment. you too can read vol 1 as a creative in your late 20s to max out emotional damage.

sketchy / スケッチー by maki hirochi (seinen / sports, slice of life / complete) burnt out and feeling lost, ako stumbles into a group of female skateboarders one night on the way home — invigorated with hope and excitement, she, along with a great cast of women, take up the sport too. absolutely delightful and inspiring, through and through.

colette decides to die / colette wa shinu koto ni shita / コレットは死ぬことにした by yukimura alto (shoujo / fantasy, mythology, romance / complete) (tw: suicide) a village doctor, desperate for a break from overwork, jumps into a well. when she arrives in the land of the dead, she meets its king -- hades -- who is sick and needs her care. a very unique take on greek myth with wonderful slowburn romance between the leads.

do not call it mystery / mystery to iu nakare / ミステリと言う勿れ by tamura yumi (josei / detective, mystery, drama / ongoing) totonou kunou is arrested for the murder of a classmate he doesn't know. after he successfully deduces each cop's backstory while in custody, the police consult his detective skills for other cases, including his own. if you liked basara or seven seeds, i probably don't need to sell this to you.

smoking behind the supermarket with you / super no ura de yani suu futaru / スーパーの裏でヤニ吸うふたり by jinushi (web comic / slice of life, romance / ongoing) overworked and stressed out, sasaki regularly visits his local supermarket for one reason only: the cute cashier yamada. on one visit, he doesn't see her. disappointed, he takes a smoke break behind the store and encounters tayama, a mischievous coworker who seems oddly familiar. a friendship between the two grows with every shared cigarette. if you liked wotakoi but want something more down to earth, this is for you.

gazing at the star next door / tonari no stella / 隣のステラ by ammitsu (shoujo / romance / ongoing) chiaki reckons with her feelings for her next door neighbor and best friend subaru, who's quickly rising through the ranks to become the most popular actor in japan. read this for a classic, butterflies-in-your-stomach shoujo romance feeling.

orb: on the movements of the earth / chi. chikyuu no undou ni tsuite / チ。―地球の運動について― by uoto (seinen / historical, drama / complete) this manga follows several generations in a fictional retelling of the discovery of heliocentrism in the solar system. when claiming that the earth revolves around the sun will get you killed for heresy, these figures must work together in secret, so that church's terrifying inquisitors cannot find them. this fucks, and the anime fucks even harder.

a condition called love / hananoi-kun to koi no yomai / 花野井くんと恋の病 by morino megumi (shoujo / romance, drama / ongoing) a girl who struggles to understand romance and a boy with debilitating abandonment issues enter a trial relationship after a kind act makes him fall in "love." a tough read at times, but to me, this is a welcome commentary on the "obsessive male lead" trope in romance manga.

lost lad london / ロスト・ラッド・ロンドン by shinya shima (seinen / mystery, drama / complete) a young part-time worker, al adley, is framed in the fatal stabbing of london's mayor. when by-the-book detective ellis gives him the benefit of the doubt, the two work together evade arrest to unravel the murder -- and the reason al has been targeted. short (3 vols) and underrated with a unique and delightful art style and some keen social commentary.

[phanfictioncatalogue]

Therapy (2) Masterlist

part one

a map to the lost (ao3) - dizzy

Summary: Dan's third therapy appointment, circa late 2014.

a pinch of sugar (ao3) - angelmichelangelo

Summary: dan comes home to find a treat waiting for him at home

But I'll Be Close Behind (ao3) - fringesandcringes

Summary: Exploring how they work through Dan's depression individually and as a partnership, through therapy sessions, episodes, and posting a YouTube video about it for the whole world to see.

Deceit and Devotion (ao3) - Thatonefunhun

Summary: Phil Lester has it all. A successful career doing what he loves, a “bestie” who's always got his back, and a can-do attitude! He’s living the life! But what goes on beyond the camera? And is everything as it seems…

Dropping Anchor in a Storm (ao3) - jestbee

Summary: Phil wakes in the early hours to a thin beam of sunlight breaking through his curtains, and the soft sound of Dan breathing by his side.

He should be able to bask in the peace and stillness of the room, but his brain won't let him do that today.

(TW) Exhausted (ao3) - breatherepeat

Summary: Dan has spent years in therapy unpacking the issues of his past and coming to terms with himself. In order to complete his journey of self-acceptance, he knew he would have to face some difficult aspects of his past. The only way to work through years of repressed memories is to bring them to light and process them.

It Gets Better (ao3) - yikesola

Summary: The air in the waiting room is too hot. Dan is hoping his therapist’s office is cooler— it usually is, she has a fan that she always turns on when he walks in— but he also is sitting with that heavy feeling in his stomach that today is going to be a hard day, and the room being stifling would just be part of his luck.

A fic about self-empathy and good sessions.

it's a church of burnt romances (ao3) - phanetixs

Summary: Dan backs into the car and the driver asks where he’s heading. His head swims with thoughts of Phil, and of guilt and embarrassment at how he’s subconsciously treating his friend. Whose life centres around virtues like chastity. And non-objectification goes both ways. Dan takes a few deep breaths, pressing a palm to his insistent bulge to quell his arousal. As always, it doesn’t work.

Well, he resolves, if he can’t get Phil out of his head, he’s got to get someone else into it. Or onto him, preferably.

Or, a Fleabag AU.

Redemption Arc (ao3) - philsmeatylegss

Summary: classic, slightly dramatic and unrealistic rags to riches au

run don't hide (ao3) - calvinahobbes

Summary: Dan has a run-in with a girl from school.

somebody's gone (ao3) - dvp_95

Summary: Dan's first therapy session after the incident.

the brain inside my muddled head (ao3) - angelmichelangelo

Summary: dan sees his therapist

the uncertainties of sexuality (ao3) - danhoweiis

Summary: “For me, having a label means having to be that thing and maybe sometimes I don’t want to be that thing but how on earth can I explain that to them when all I have to do is talk about a cute boy or something and suddenly I’m a bisexual icon when I’m not...not that.”

Therapy Day (ao3) - kattdan

Summary: Sometimes therapy makes Dan feel worse and he seeks comfort in Phil.

thursday at eleven (ao3) - cityofphanchester

Summary: This isn’t Dan’s Thursday morning, and no matter how much and how long he’s been pushing the idea, these first steps have to be Phil’s own.

Unfiltered (ao3) - orphan_account

Summary: "Start with the unfiltered version," his therapist had told him. "Write it all out, as if no one else will ever see it, and then work your way from there."

It's a long process, getting everything together, readying himself to open up about depression, but he can take it in steps.

we were never in the park (ignoring tornado warnings) (ao3) - pasteldanhowells

Summary: After Phil leaves Dan, Dan starts seeing a therapist. Then, Phil comes back, and Dan starts lying to his therapist about him.

What A Catch (ao3) - hygge

Summary: Phil visits the same cafe every weekday morning without fail. But, when he decides to visit the cafe on the weekend for once, the atmosphere that he had grown used to has completely changed thanks to a piano player named Dan. While Phil is ready to jump into a relationship, Dan is hesitant and is still trying to stitch his life together again after What Had Happened in his past relationship. And that’s easier said than done.

wherever you stray i follow (ao3) - calvinahobbes

Summary: Dan brings Phil with him to therapy.

[sugaredrhubarb]

In honour of her second book, Lancelot in November, coming out later this month, I want to talk about one of my favourite books of the last year and one of my favourite romances ever.

King of Cups 

By @woodswit / @phoebe-woods

available here

Hockey, love, tarot, mystery—this book is so up my alley that I was almost scared to read it. After putting it off for most of the fall, I finally dove in this winter while in the middle of a depressive slump. When I say this book made me laugh and cry, it feels almost diminishing—it made me feel, and anyone who experiences similar slumps of numbness knows what a feat that can be.

King of Cups follows Eloise, a mess of a private investigator, as she gets drawn into the world of the Boston Bruins and the world of Jacques Lavesque, a hockey star and a man finally cracking under the weight of perfection. If you don’t want to read me wax on about this book for ages, give it a look.  If you'll stick around, let me tell you why I love it.

Eloise & Jacques

“She was never comfortable at all – not in her own skin and not in anyone else’s. After all, underneath it all, there she was – a trespasser no matter where she went, an interloper who had never learned to root in any soil, a witch forever in exile.”

Oh, how I was so seen by Eloise. She is a little lost and a little lonely. She is awkward, and sometimes she’s accidentally cruel, but she is good, and she is learning. Sometimes, a character changes in a book simply because the author says so; that is not the case here. Eloise grows and evolves, and we get to see every step forward and backward and every bump along the way.

“Was this what it was like to be in Jaques’s head — to see the vulnerability in everyone, even when they were challenging, and have your heart broken for it?”

I have never related so much to a male character, even in all his big athletic manliness. Jacques is tired. He has given so much of himself to his team, to his family, to everyone but himself. He has so much love and so much anger, and they twist, grow, and burn bright within each other. The story of Jaques is just as compelling as the story of Eloise, and they amplify each other in every way. 

“He was in love with the world and at times in love with every single person in it.”

Hockey 

“She was thinking of church again as she heard the announcer yell, “...BOSTON BRUINS!”  Or maybe not church — maybe something older, something rooted in pagan ritual and wolf-gods and dented armour.”

So yes, this is a hockey story, but you don’t need to be a hockey fan to enjoy it. For those of us who are, however, and have been burnt by hockey books before, this is what we’ve been looking for. The author is a hockey fan, and it shows in how she examines the fanaticism of sports culture, the paradox between the inherent violence of hockey with the perfect family man image it demands, and the bigotry endemic to the whole thing. None of it feels forced; all of it feels real, and you can tell it’s done by someone who both loves the sport and sees its flaws.

Everybody else

“[...] at the end of the day all that matters to me is how I loved other people.”

Every character in this book is a whole person. No side character is there just to serve a purpose, even only for a scene. From the other players on the team to Eloise’s family to the big “villains” and the side conflict starters, every single one has wants and needs and flaws, and I fell a little in love with them all. You will relate to them, you will feel for them, you will love them too.

Love

“Love was the Wheel of Fortune, cyclical and never static.”

The word love has already appeared 11 times in this post (12 now) and is circled frequently in my copy of the book. This is a romance (as I usually talk about very smutty things, I would be remiss not to mention that this is not that), and the love built between our main characters is so strong, even when it is scared or angry. Eloise and Jacques are magnetic to each other and the reader, and every moment they are in each other’s vicinity feels charged and electric. But romantic love is not what makes this book special. Love is woven through every aspect of the story, and it is the familial love, the platonic love, that shines brightest. Love is hard; sometimes love ends, sometimes it refuses to, and sometimes it is new and barges its way in when you least expect or want it. This book depicts it all beautifully.

I don’t even know how to fit in here just how well it’s written. The world is detailed and real. The characters are relatable and full. The mystery is gripping and engrossing. I could talk about the dialogue for ages. It is so incredibly human, funny and aching and awkward and revealing. 

If you read this book, you will want to treat the world as kindly, empathetically, and lovingly as the author treats her story. 

The author is a mutual of mine on here so I do want to say thank you to her for giving the world such a special piece of work, I’m so looking forward to reading the next addition.

And thank you anna ( @winterrose527 ) for putting it in my path in the first place.

[indiaalphawhiskey]

OTB (louis song) and walls prove a larry breakup but people don't want to see that. i mean walls is his fave song (and the name of the album for gods sake!) and it's about a break up (nothing wakes you up like waking up ALONE and all that's left of us is a CUBOARD FULL OF CLOTHES (closet) the day you WALKED AWAY etc) and OTB is written in black and white. and it's at the END of the album for a reason. "pour mercy, mercy on me, set fire to history, i'm breakin' my own rules (to only write love songs/we made it etc etc), i'm cryin' like a fool, tall STORIES on the page (either our fanfictions/his other songs), short glories on the FADE, i been close enough to TOUCH, but i NEVER CARED for LOVE, it's a church of BURNT ROMANCES and i'm TOO FAR GONE to PRAY, it's a SOLO SONG and it's only for the BRAVE, if the truth tell, darling, YOU (meaning lesbians/larries) fell like there ain't enough DYING STARS (famous queer celebrities) in your sky, it's a tall TALE (fairytale), and it's only hello, hello, NO GOODBYE (goodbye) (bc we like to think they made it and they didn't), pour mercy, mercy on me, i'll fall upon my knees, and they'll say, "i told you so, come on, when you know, you know" (abt being gay obvs), all the LONELY shadow dances from the cradle to the grave (bc loads of lgbtq+ people are single, never meet our one bc we're only a tiny % of the population, so we live and die alone), it's a SOLO SONG and it's only for the brave" 😭 holding onto heartache is the same btw, also about the larry breakup "the nights, they change in seasons, become the strangest days, i called you twice but then regretted it, and changed my number, the questions that i'd ask you, "where did it all go wrong?", it's time to accept that larry has broken up, we haven't had any credible reciepts in a few years (2019 was the last one) so yeah sad but kinda inevitable, they held on as long as they could but yeah it's over 😩

SUUUUUUPER GLAD you feel that way, anon. You’re so decided and confident, and that’s super great, because it means there’s no reason for you to be on Larries’ tumblrs.

🚪🫲 please see yourself out. Enjoy your life! I am so happy for you! 🙂

[evelynstarshine]

anyway I'm thinking of a story about a newly turned vampire who gets scolded when they try to enter their parish church and the crosses of their old friends and family burn to look at but then they move to a new town, and meet new friends, and eventually, it stings alittle to go into that chapel, and sometimes their icons glare but, as they get welcomed and made accustomed to, the discover that it was not God or his house that burnt them, but the community in it's lack of acceptance for the change they've gone through.

It's kind of a metaphor for coming out and not being accepted and then finding an affirming church community and through that strength and recover in your self identity, but mostly it's about a vampire making friends and the whole romance of dying and then coming back from the dead and stuff

[bloodtiesnovel]

Author Ask Tag

thanks @the-inkwell-variable for the tag!

we’re gonna be answering questions about our WIP, Blood Ties (link is in our pinned post and also here!). answers provided by jacob will be signed with ⚡️, and jo’s answers will be signed with 🐦‍⬛

What is the main lesson of your story? Why did you choose it?

You can’t do everything yourself, and at some point, you just have to be happy with what you have. It’s been kind of cathartic for me, coming from a burnt-out gifted kid background. Knowing that I’m capable of so much if I just “applied myself” but realizing that that effort isn’t worth my happiness was one of the best things I’ve ever done. -🐦‍⬛

shit happens. if you don’t accept it and move on, you’ll be stuck where you are. change is very hard, but nothing worth doing is easy. -⚡️

What did you use as inspiration for your worldbuilding?

the setting was based off of a campaign setting created by our dm, Lo. we borrowed many aspects from it but changed a good bit to keep it original.

i also like incorporating obscure vampire lore that i think is cool from all across pop culture.

as for what the characters can do? it’s heavily based off the character classes in d&d 5e -⚡️

What is your MC trying to achieve, and what are you, the writer, trying to achieve with them? Do you want to inspire others, teach forgiveness, or help the reader grow as a person?

Mayne is just trying to get through this stint in Kespar, but more than that, she’s trying to prove that not only can she live up to her family’s legacy, she can outshine it. As for me, I honestly just want to share this story that Jacob and I have been thinking about for the last few years with other people- it’s not about inspiring people or becoming famous, I just want the story to be told.-🐦‍⬛

ulrich wants vengeance, of course, but deep down he wants to be his own man and take his life back. inspiring others would be cool, but like jo, i just wanna get this story out of my head and onto the page. -⚡️

How many chapters is your story going to have?

as many as it needs lmao -⚡️

it does follow a 3 act structure tho -🐦‍⬛

Is it fanfiction or original content? Where do you plan to post it?

It’s kinda both, weirdly enough. It’s based off DnD characters from a one shot series that we played, so it’s original in that sense, but a lot of the world is based off of the original series, so that makes it kind of fanfic-y -🐦‍⬛

it’s on ao3 rn (click here to read!!!), no idea where we’re gonna publish but we definitely do -⚡️

When did you start writing?

I’ve been writing for years, but this is the first time I’ve ever actually followed through with it. My middle school wattpad account is something between me and god. -🐦‍⬛

i’ve been writing for dnd games for a while, but this is my first like, book lmao -⚡️

Do you have any words of encouragement for fellow writers of writeblr? What other writers do you follow?

Words suck. Words will make you want to claw your eyes out, but there’s always a way around the writers block. Don’t think about how you can make something 100% original, think about what you’d wanna write. And if that something is a high fantasy romance novel with church sanctioned bdsm, then by all means write that shit. -🐦‍⬛

write. everything. even if it’s bad, even if it’s cringe. also talk to your friends about it!! you can bounce ideas off of each other and make your work better. -⚡️

@nondelphic @drchenquill @dr9carys @theink-stainedfolk @mrpuzzle

and open tag bc i follow so many writers!

[guessimate]

The ROS for the Tia family was A Night At Church. Sen was supposed to stay at the temple at night, but I sent her to the bathhouse too because that's where I keep my graves. She went there every night of this round, but no ghost scared her... At least she met the evil witch and got scared by the cockroaches.

Before she even went to the graveyard for the first time, she had caused a fire. Sen will definitely need a servant to cook for her. The whole kitchen burnt down.

~*~

Demiana Tia was rolled to be a Romance sim, like her grandmother. I don't know how good of a heartbreaker she will be, but she can try her best. She's also family-oriented, so she would like a child someday. She's bi, so she'd be open to any relationship.

~*~

Unfortunately, Yune Siew aged up badly. She didn't really have any wants which could be fulfilled and she couldn't run the business anymore. At least she started her adulthood with some interesting wants. She wants to make a wish on the genie lamp, which is something to look forward to. Maybe she will wish for money and move out with some merchant who owns a business...

~*~

The emperor's sister, Sesheshet, wanted to fall in love with Tane Siew. She is a Romance sim who clearly isn't that into her husband, so I let them flirt a little bit. Tane wanted to get engaged to her, but she rejected the proposal. She agreed to have an open relationship though. Let's just hope her husband doesn't learn about any of this.

She brought Tane the Chinese vase as a date gift. Sadly, one of the cats destroyed it before I even moved it into the house.

~*~

I am using these want trees now and Tane wanted to follow in his grandfather's footsteps and become a Courtier. He took over his grandfather's career when Zet had retired. He might become Mnevis's cup-bearer someday.

Tane got promoted on his first workday, earning 577$ + 1154$ bonus. And the next time he went to work he got promoted again, earning 714$ + 1428$. He probably won't get promoted for a while now as he lacks skills, but that's good enough for a Pleasure sim.

Zet Tia got his last vacation day payment of 1155$ before he retired. Then he got 412$ as a retirement payment.

Zet maxed out Literature enthusiasm. Later he moved on to his One True Hobby, which is Arts&Crafts to max out Creativity.

They earned 5440$.

3000$ - rent

550$ - tax

550$ - tithe

They paid 4100$. The town has accumulated 62,440$ so far.

~*~

At the end of the round the Tia/Siew men were sent off to war. Tane Siew is going... and his grandpa is joining him too because I don't have enough sims. Sadly, after 11 days (or 2 seasons) Zet Tia's life will probably end regardless of the outcome of the war, so it might be the last time we see him...

Now I will enumerate who else is going. Marius Wolfen is coming, despite being a teen, because he works for the military. He is supposed to be the first man to be drafted. Ninildu Orange will also go. The only problem is that they live together and are taking care of underage sims. I might just play them for 1-2 more days so that the kids can stay alone on the Orange/Wolfen lot. The only other option is finding a wife for Marius very quickly, before he is drafted.

Lalli Imago will go, as he's aging up at the very beginning of the round. His dad is definitely not going, as he's an elder and he's going on a witchy adventure instead. Lalli will probably find a wife immediately after he ages up. Although he has one younger brother who could produce heirs, his family expects Lalli to have children.

The emperor is for sure going after he gets married this round, because he is getting together with Sen and having at least one child, even if it's the last thing he does in his life. Laetus Machia, the emperor's brother-in-law, is also going. That will probably make his wife happy rather than sad, as she might be able to find some more lovers...

[thelastattempt]

It’s a church of burnt romances and I’m too far gone to pray

Like, yes, YES, religion and relationships and firing witches at the stake for daring to be slightly different and blind idolisation at the altar of structured dogma. BUT ALSO - this is sitting on your knees at the shrine of toxic relationships, this is everyone and their aunt having an opinion and raising up something that didn’t work, never works, everyone immortalising relationships, romances, friendships, moments that are raccoons in trench coats, pretending to be a functioning and healthy dynamic.

And you’re too far gone to believe it, too old, too young, too eyes-wide-open to take your place in the parade because you’ve seen it and you can’t unsee it. It’s refusing to join the conga because I’m beyond it, I’ve experienced it and I don’t. Believe. It. Anymore. the curtain’s been raised and I’m just destroyed and illuminated both, I can’t join in your awe, it’s a fucking church of burnt romances and I’m too far gone to pray.

[1asbrightasthestars3]

Let me tell you something I think everyone without exception needs to know.

Quick backstory, me and my friends decided to do presentation night, which means each of us will make 3 presentations about topics that we will choose.

I chose, the love of my life, Louis Tomlinson.

And I decided to have a bit of fun with that.

So I made a quiz called "Louis Tomlinson or Shakespeare."

The quiz is about quotes from William Shakespeare, the brilliant playwright and poet from the 16th century & from Louis Tomlinson, the man and the legend.

Going into this presentation I was aware of Louis' writing skills, and I know and have known for years what a lyrical genius he is, BUT.

I wanted to make it as confusing as possible for my friends and for that to work, I had to take the greatest (not the song) Louis Tomlinson lyrics.

And I think I just fell a little more in love with his lyrics. e.j

"pour, mercy, mercy on me, set fire to history, I'm breaking my own rules, I'm crying like a fool. Tall stories on the page, Short glories on the fade, I've been close enough to touch, but I never cared for love." STARTING OFF REAL STRONG,

and then we have the pre-chorus: (which I do hope to get tattooed later in life.)

"it's a church of burnt romances, and I'm too far gone to pray, it's a solo song and it's only for the brave"

And this not only being a literal piece of literature it's also very clearly, to me at least, and sorry for assuming, a queer anthem. Referencing the religious perspective on it, specifically the Catholic/christian opinion on it.

And then of course we have got the chorus.

"if the truth tell, darling, you fell, Like there ain't enough dying stars in your sky. It's a tall tale, and it's only hello, hello, no goodbye."

Which is actually perfect in my eyes. After that we have the second verse.

"pour mercy, mercy on me, I'll fall upon my knees and they'll say 'i told you so, Come on when you know, you know.' "

Which, help me god, once again sounds very clearly like a queer anthem, this time referencing the family/social circle of the person.

Then we have the rest of the second verse which is not only the most heartbreaking line I have ever heard, it is also the quote I meant to use because it reminded me of a popular Shakespeare quote.

"All the lonely shadows dances, from the cradle to the grave. It's a solo song, and it's only for the brave."

Do you understand what I'm talking about now? This man is THE poet of the century (you can also add Taylor swift to the list, the woman is a genius.) And I don't think you can even begin to understand he said all of these things UNDER TWO MINUTES??

anyways I just wanted to share my love to Louis Tomlinson and I hope you can listen to him in the future if you haven't, and continue to listen to him now if you have. Because I only spoke about 'Only the brave' but his songs are the most poetic, beautiful thing I have heard. (Yes there are songs about him having flings and taking drugs but don't everyone?;)

So there's a list of my favorite Louis Tomlinson songs that I think you should listen to: Copy of a copy of a copy, the greatest, change (this one!!), angels fly, two of us (about his late mother, bless him), walls, bigger than me, too young and basically the entirety of two his albums 'Walls' and 'Faith in the future.'

Thank you for listening to my rant! ~L

[library-ghoulette]

My Path Serpentine (Ministry librarian series) - Chapter 1/?

Pairing: Copia (Papa Emeritus IV) x Original Female Character

Rating: This chapter is gen, later chapters will be mature to explicit

Tags: Third person POV, original female character, slow burn, workplace romance, Satanic nuns, libraries

Words: 1916

Summary: Sister Beatrice Laurence has spent her entire life seeking knowledge and belonging, and she thinks that she has found them both in the modest Satanic church where she works as a library assistant. But a job announcement from Ministry headquarters stirs her ambitions for more, and places her in the path of Papa Emeritus IV.

A/N: I intended to write some no-frills library smut, but it got away from me almost immediately. There will be smut in future chapters, I promise. But for now, let us meet our intrepid heroine and learn of her professional frustrations, and an intimidating yet tantalizing opportunity for power...

ao3 link

divider by @gothdaddyissues

Winter - Unholy Church of the Infernal Heart - The Library

"Sister Beatrice?"

At the sound of her name, Sister Beatrice Laurence's head pops up from behind the stack of books on the desk. Her aspect is harried, veil riding back to reveal her blonde bangs, her round, silver-framed glasses slipping down her nose from where she has been looking down at the book cart where she's alphabetizing the check-ins to be reshelved. She pushes her glasses back into place and attempts a smile—a genuine one, in contrast to the expression Sister Grace usually turns on her, which has a hollow quality and never quite reaches her eyes and makes Beatrice feel as though she is always about to get a nasty surprise.

"Yes, Sister Grace?" Her voice carries a note of hesitation, born of her experience with her supervisor's tendency to find fault with even the smallest tasks Beatrice completes. The older woman loves nothing more than to question all of her underlings' competency, but Beatrice seems to be her favorite target. It's never a good thing when Sister Grace comes out of her office.

"Father Kirk just called. He wants to see you." Before Beatrice can ask if she should finish her work first, Sister Grace cuts her off: "I'll take it from here. You're dismissed for the day."

Beatrice's palms are clammy as she retrieves her bag and coat from the tiny break room that always smells like burnt coffee, and as she heads out of the library with a bright "have a good night!" that Sister Grace doesn't return. She pushes out of the front doors of the library into a cold and dreary February afternoon and hurries across campus to the building that houses clergy offices. The lowering sky hangs heavy and ominous with clouds that spit the occasional hard flecks of something that vaguely resembles snow. It's not the kind of day that portends good news.

When she reaches Father Kirk's office, the door is closed. She straightens her veil nervously, wipes her hands on her coat, and knocks three times.

"Come in! Ah, Sister Beatrice!" Father Kirk stands up behind his desk as she enters. He's heavy-set, with close-cropped dark hair just starting to go grey at the temples and small, bright eyes, dressed in his customary black slacks and button-down, with a black clerical collar. He's not much older than Beatrice herself, and has always felt more like a big brother to her than some of the older, sterner priests in the Satanic church. Even so, being summoned to his office has her stomach twisting with nerves.

"Hi, Father Kirk! Sister Grace said you wanted to see me?"

"Yes, yes, come in. Have a seat. And uh, close the door, please."

Beatrice settles herself in the brown leather visitor's chair with hobnail trim in front of Father Kirk's desk. She smiles to see the assortment of toys and miniatures that clutter the space around his computer, the rubber duckie with devil horns and the rainbow-colored Baphomet figurine a friendly contrast to the rest of the drab administrative decor that came standard.

Father Kirk sits down again and regards Beatrice in thoughtful silence for a moment, elbows resting on his desk, fingers steepled, in a move that does nothing to assuage her anxiety. Then he asks, "Beatrice, where do you see yourself in five years?"

It's so corporate HR, so job interview, that it flummoxes her. "I- Here, I guess," she stammers, gathering her composure to summon a more dignified answer. "I want to be wherever I can best serve the will of our Dark Lord."

Father Kirk sighs. "Humility is not a virtue in our faith, Sister Beatrice. So please. Do me a favor and cut the bullshit."

From someone else, the words might sound harsh, but when Father Kirk says them, they carry no hostility, just the rough-hewn kindness of someone who knows when you're wasting everyone's time by not being as straightforward as he always is, and as he always wants everyone else to be, as well.

"What did you tell me when you first petitioned to join our order?" he asks.

Though a handful of years have passed since then, Sister Beatrice remembers that day clearly. "I said that I wanted to learn everything there was to know," she recalls. "And that I wanted to be a conduit for the word of Lucifer, for His knowledge and the freedom it brings, to all who seek it."

Father Kirk nods. "And do you feel that you are fulfilling that role here, in our parish?"

"I enjoy the work that I do in the library, Father," she says, choosing her words carefully. "And I do my best to fulfill my calling, in all the opportunities that are afforded to me here."

There, that was diplomatic enough. She thinks of the opportunities afforded to her, the ones that Sister Grace condescends to hand out. Shelving books and basic circulation tasks, mostly. Answering reference questions as quietly as possible so that Sister Grace doesn't eavesdrop and nitpick how she handled them. Begging for more responsibilities, only to be given the simplest copy cataloging—that Sister Grace always double-checks for imagined errors when she deigns to allow Beatrice to do it at all.

"And are you happy with those opportunities, Sister Beatrice?" It feels like Father Kirk is reading her mind.

There's no use lying: "I know that I could be doing more. I want to be doing more."

Father Kirk nods, looking pleased at Beatrice's candor. "I agree," he says. "You could be doing more."

There's a beat, and Beatrice feels compelled to fill it. "Is there… another position opening at the library?" she asks. There have been times when she has imagined Sister Grace quitting, or retiring, or—on her most frustrating days—running afoul of a negligent driver who fails to stop at crosswalks. Maybe her fantasies are coming true? Is she getting a promotion?

But Father Kirk laughs ruefully. "Not at our library, no. However—" He spins his chair around to grab an envelope from the mail tray on the shelf behind his desk, then sets it on the blotter between them. "I want you to look at this."

Beatrice picks up the envelope. It's made of heavy, creamy paper, and it feels important and expensive in her hand. The return address identifies its origin: "Ministry headquarters?"

She looks up to find Father Kirk regarding her seriously. "Read it."

She turns the envelope over, and, seeing that it has already been slit open neatly, she extracts the paper inside. Unfolding it, she reads:

[MESSAGE FROM THE CLERGY]

We wish to inform you that the position of Ministry Head Librarian is vacant. This position oversees daily operations of the library and archive at Ministry headquarters. Qualified applicants will possess thorough knowledge of circulation and reference, collection development, cataloging, and resource sharing. Supervisory experience strongly preferred. MLIS or equivalent degree from accredited institution required. All interested parties should submit completed application and letter of reference to…

Beatrice skims over the address to the bottom of the letter. It is signed, Sister Imperator. She turns the paper over, seeking answers, but the back is blank.

Her head feels strangely woozy, and she finds that she can't meet Father Kirk's eyes. "I- I don't understand."

"I think you do understand, Sister Beatrice."

"But this job—" It's my dream job, a voice in her head supplies, who do I have to kill to get it? But aloud, she says, "I- There's no way they would give it to me."

"Why not?" Father Kirk asks, and when she opens her mouth to protest, to list all of her deficiencies, real or imagined, he cuts her off: "You have the required degree. You have an entire portfolio of projects and internships. If you hadn't taken your vows, you would undoubtedly be running your own library by now."

It was likely true—she had been on that trajectory when she left her role as the assistant branch manager at a public library to dedicate herself fully to her dark faith, leaving her secular life behind.

"But I haven't taken my final vows yet." She has moved through her postulancy and novitiate periods, and she took her temporary vows over a year ago. She has been looking forward to professing her solemn vows, to the feelings of stability and permanence that she imagines doing so will bring. Feelings she has longed for her entire life, that she has searched for in vain.

"You can transfer and take your vows at the Ministry when you get the job." Father Kirk shrugs. "It's not common to move to a different diocese, as you know. But it can be done, especially under extenuating circumstances. I'll do my best to ensure that you don't have to restart your novitiate."

It would be worth it, though, that ambitious, greedy voice in her head says. Even if I did have to restart. Even if I had to do anything.

She allows herself a brief vision of herself in the role. Living in the beautiful old abbey she has seen photos of online but has never visited. Surrounded by the most powerful and influential members of the church. Being in charge of her own library; and not just any library, but the very heart of Satanic scholarship. Having power, real and tangible. No one to stand in her way and hint that maybe the Dewey Decimal System is just a bit out of her league, doesn't she think?

"When I get the job?" she asks.

"Yes, when. I wouldn't be suggesting this to you if I didn't think you had a chance—and a very good one, at that. You are the perfect candidate. They would be fools not to hire you."

"It's so far away." Sister Beatrice looks at the letter again, tracing and retracing the lines of the Ministry letterhead. Tears prick her eyes. "I would have to move," she says.

Father Kirk reaches across the desk and places a warm, reassuring hand on hers. "And you will be missed. You have been a dark blessing on this parish from the moment you entered, my dear. One of the most gifted Sisters we have ever admitted." He squeezes her hand, prompting her to meet his gaze. "And that is why I want you to apply for this job. You are destined for so much more than what is possible here. It would be cruel to keep you."

He releases her then, and as though a spell has been broken, she finally folds the letter again and places it back in the envelope.

"Will you at least consider it?" Father Kirk asks. "For me. Not as your priest, or your boss, but as your friend?"

Beatrice nods. "I'll consider it."

When she leaves his office, Father Kirk sends the envelope with her, and it weighs heavily on her the entire night. It seems to whisper to from her from her bag during vespers, and as she eats her dinner in the church cafeteria, as she showers and pulls on her nightgown, and as she lies in bed vainly trying to read a dark romance novel that would normally hold her attention easily.

Sighing with resignation, she sets her book aside and takes up the envelope again. She slides the job announcement out with the anticipation of someone rereading a love letter. She reads it again and again and again.

And she considers.

[voxofthevoid]

Hi Vox!

Have you ever heard Rain by Sleep Token? Because it gives me major Choso in 'your resistance, prophetic self-destruction' vibes. Also your writing as a whole synthesizes as 'Take me to Church' by Hozier plus the aftertaste of burnt coffee and the purple-mauve of a bruise.

Your style is amazing and I love it. Got any tips for writing in general? I can tell you've put a ton of work into it. I saw your post about how you manage to write so much otherwise I'd have asked about that, too lol. I'm glad you feel like you can put more time into your hobbies and also be more productive with work! That's the dream.

Anyway, thank you for all your hard work!

-🌱

Sorry, I just realized you have your Spotify wrapped posted literally about Sleep Token. *Facepalms* Disregard!!!

Haha, don't worry, I was very amused by the timing, especially with Rain being my #1 song this year. It's also in my goyuu playlist. Relating it to Choso from that fic didn't occur to me though! Food for thought 👀

Also, I'm very, very fond of Take Me to Church, so it's extremely flattering to hear that my writing gives you that feeling. Plus, "aftertaste of burnt coffee and the purple-mauve of a bruise" is evocative in a fun way!

As for general tips, I went into it a little in this post, though it mostly focuses on getting started in terms of social and technical aspects.

In addition to that, I'd say—especially in the context of fanfiction—that you should be as self-indulgent as possible. "Write for yourself" gets misconstrued a lot as some Loner Noble Artist thing, but in my view, the core of it means that you need to be your own audience first and foremost, at least while writing the story. Often, when I read a fic, I get the sense that the author themself isn't sold on their concept, even if the prose is immaculate. In contrast, a story that falters in terms of grammar or vocabulary can still sweep you along if the author's passion is there in the words. Essentially—have fun. Writing can be a bitch and a half, but here in fandom at least, it's a hobby, a passion project. It's gotta spark joy; otherwise, what's the point?

I'm pretty bad at giving writing advice in general though, won't lie. I want to, but my method is bascially just reading a lot and writing a lot, and I've been doing both for quite a while (my Ao3 account alone is 10+ years old, and I started reading and later writing well before that). Plus, it took me the longest damn time to spot patterns in my writing or even identify that I'd developed a sufficiently distinct style. It's not unique or anything—it's bog-standard romance style at its core—but it's got something I can recognize as mine, which I'm pretty happy about. Still, it does leave me pretty clueless on how to give tips beyond the basic stuff above and in that other post. I could probably talk better about how to emulate my own style these days, now that I'm a little more conscious of those patterns and how they come about, but that doesn't quite count as general writing tips 🤔

Ah, well.

Also, thank you! That is indeed the dream. I won't ever like work, it's just a necessity for the $$$, but my current setup is far more tolerable than how it was when I entered the workforce. Good luck to you too, with writing and life both 💗