#a caterpillar and i are just mutuals but i still love when they come on my dash | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

ladynestaarcheron · 5 years ago

Text

Like Pristine Glass - Chapter Sixteen

ao3 - ff.net - masterpost

(tagging these cuties: @humanexile @skychild29 @rhysandsdarlingfeyre @candid-confetti @rhysandsrightknee @missing-merlin @azriels-forgotten-shadow @books-and-cocos @sezkins79 @city-of-fae @someonemagical @dusty-lightbulb @messyhairday-me @rinad307)

hey, y’all! here is chapter sixteen, and the longest one yet! (and probably ever.) normally i feel like i have a lot to chat with you about, but i don’t have much this time, so...thanks to @thestarwhowishes for betaing and you for reading, and i hope all y’all stay safe!!

---

December 18 - 4 years after

The park tires them out completely, so Nesta and Cassian lay the children down for a nap before dinner.

"It's a new restaurant," Cassian tells Nesta. "Very up-and-coming. But we have a private room for us."

"Who's us?"

"Your sisters. And us."

"All right." Nesta doesn't ask about the others she still hasn't seen. Azriel, Morrigan...Amren.

Cassian takes a deep breath. "There's something you should know. About who's coming to Solstice."

Nesta freezes. She already knows who's coming—all of Feyre's new friends (although she supposes they're not so new anymore)—her husband, obviously, Morrigan, Azriel, Amren. Amren's...paramour. If they're still together.

"It's Emerie."

Nesta jerks backward. Emerie? "Em...from...why is she coming?"

Her employer, her...friend. Sort of. Nesta had not been in the right mindset to properly have a friend; she did not treat Emerie the way she treats Amorette, but she might have gotten there. If she had not left.

"She's actually...well, this isn't her first Solstice with us. She's not really spending it with us, honestly. She's spending it with...Mor."

She blinks. With Mor?

"They're together. They have been for a few years now, actually."

Nesta could not have been more shocked if he had told her he was going to leave to move in with Maz. Two of her worlds colliding in such a bizarre way, such an unexpected match. It all dawns on her slowly: if Emerie is with Morrigan, and she has come here, to Velaris, for Solstice with all of them, then she knows Feyre. She knows Elain. Had they spoken of her?

And what is Emerie doing with someone like Morrigan, anyway?

She doesn't voice any of this to Cassian. "All right."

He studies her carefully. She can feel his eyes tracing every minute movement. "Are you upset?"

"No," she answers—truthfully, because she's not. She's baffled. And disappointed in Emerie's taste.

She supposes she doesn't have any right to be upset. She can't exactly see this as a betrayal, for Emerie did nothing to deserve Nesta leaving and following silence. And, well, she never exactly spoke of the quiet, violent mutual loathing she and Morrigan shared. Not with Emerie, at least.

But still, Emerie can do better.

She keeps this to herself, though. Cassian loves Morrigan, she knows this.

"What exactly is the itinerary?"

"Well, I thought we could just show the children Velaris," Cassian says, "with your sisters, maybe. And then Solstice at Feyre and Rhys'. Was there...something in particular you wanted to do?"

Does she want to see someone outside the mandatory Solstice she signed up for, he means. And the answer is no, most certainly not. Or, well, it was, before she knew Emerie was going to be here. But perhaps Emerie doesn't want to see her. So she just says, "No, that sounds all right," and tries to find something to busy herself with until it's time to go to dinner.

When they finally do go, Cassian holding Avery and Nesta holding Ollie and Nicky walking between them, Nesta can see that the place is indeed popular. It's in an area of Velaris she doesn't know very well—not close to any of the establishments she frequented while living here years ago—but there's a rather large crowd of people waiting outside. Reservations are probably booked more than just a few days in advance.

A perky red-haired female at the front leads them to a private room, where Feyre and Elain are already waiting. Elain leaps up when she sees them and throws open her arms for Nicky to run into.

"I missed you!" she says, laughing, and pulling Avery and Ollie in for a hug too. "Hi, Nesta, I missed you too!"

"You as well," she says, a bit curtly, even to her own ears. But she kisses Elain on both her cheeks and gives her a small smile as she sits down.

"This place is really amazing," Elain tells them.

"It...looks nice," Nesta says, gazing around. It does look nice, but all restaurants do. None of the stained glass lampshades warrant waiting outside to be seated, in her opinion.

"I've never been to a restaurant before," Nicky says, excited.

"Nicky, don't be ridiculous, of course you have."

"Not all the way across the sea!"

Nesta catches Cassian's eye and stifles an eye-roll as he grins.

"He's right," he says.

"Quite."

"Are you three excited for Solstice?" Feyre asks the children.

"Yeah, we're so excited."

"Our friends are not here," Nicky says.

"Oh, I know, but we're here! That'll be fun, right?"

"Right!"

"Are you excited for Solstice presents, Ollie?" Elain asks him.

He blushes and nods, looking down at his lap.

"Ollie wants a caterpillar," Avery informs Elain.

"A caterpillar? Well, I guess we'll have to wait and see what we all get."

Nesta bites on the inside of her cheek. In a rather unprecedented move on her part, before leaving Sugar Valley, she had purchased gifts for her sisters and Cassian as well. She had spent probably a month discussing her thoughts with Amorette on the matter (that is, blathering on while Amorette offered her sympathetic support), came to the firm decision that she was not buying any gifts, and then suddenly rushed out the day before they left to buy things. She still isn't sure what came over her.

"So, I thought tomorrow we could go see my gallery," Feyre says. "You three like to paint, don't you?"

They chatter in excitement, eager to see all the things their aunts and father are promising them. Nesta loves to see them like this, bubbling over in happy anticipation. But she swallows hard as she watches them—they are so good at this, Cassian, Elain, and Feyre. It comes so naturally to them; joy and cheer and infectious laughter. And she has to work so hard at it.

Jealousy writhes inside her, like nothing she's ever felt before. Disconcerting, to say the least—but this was never her holiday season.

---

December 27 - Year of

The heavy snow that winter always brought into their tiny village was nothing compared to the blizzard that hit the Illyrian mountains; and Emerie assured Nesta that it happened every year. Nesta was sure that this meant Cassian would not be coming back any time soon—how could he fly in this?—but she saw the legions take to the skies day after day, and eventually, it was Cassian soaring down. She hurried away from the window and threw herself into her favorite spot on the couch, opening her book to a random page and pretending to read.

She felt him approach the door, felt his hand linger for a moment too long on the knob before opening it.

"Hey," he said, stepping inside. "I'm back," he added.

Nesta did not lower her book, but raised her eyes to look at him. There was snow stuck in some crevices of his wings, ice in his hair.

He grinned when he saw her eyes tracing him. "Still reading that?" He nodded towards her book.

"Re-reading," she lied. "It was good. And I'm out."

His grin widened as he crossed over to the fireplace. "Is that so?"

She didn't answer, only tensed as she saw he was going to light a fire, and braced herself for the snapping sound, like the cracking of a neck, her father's neck.

"Don't know how you stand sitting here without it," he said, more to himself than to her. "Well, anyway," he continued, turning around, "I guess I made a—what's wrong?"

Nesta jerked her head downwards to the book, forcing herself to concentrate on counting the letters on the page. "Nothing."

"Is it..." He didn't finish his sentence. She knew what he was thinking. He had only just come back; how was she already distant?

She couldn't bring herself to say anything. He wanted the fire burning, of course he did, he was freezing. It was normal. This, this fear of the mundane, was not. She had conquered her—it still mortified her, even to think it—aversion to baths, but there was no way to ease into hearing something. You either lit a fire or you did not. Striking a sole match did not make noise. The bonfires Emerie had dragged her hadn't been much help, either, for they had not gone close enough to hear anything over the noise the hundreds of Illyrians had been making.

She was up to thirty-seven when Cassian put out the fire.

"You're hogging all the blankets," he said. "Give me one."

Wordlessly, she pushed one off her, letting him take it as he sat next to her. She couldn't meet his eyes—how had he known?

"So, I guess I made a good choice. With your Solstice present. If you're rereading this garbage."

Now Nesta did look up, to see him smirking at her.

"This isn't garbage," she said, closing the book. A present...she didn't think he was going to get her anything. Especially since she hadn't exactly accepted his present last year.

She hadn't gotten him anything. The thought hadn't even occurred to her, really. What would she even get him?

"It's in the bag," he said pointing to something he had dumped by the front door.

Definitely not what he had gotten her last year, then. A much bigger bag than anything he had had on his person last year.

Nesta wrapped one of the blankets around her as she went to see what it was. She slipped out a box, wrapped in deep blue paper, and brought it back to the couch.

It felt rather heavy. She figured it was books.

"Open it," he encouraged.

She did, careful with the wrapping. A brown box, with the words NightWrite printed in swirly lettering. She looked up at him.

"Open it!"

She did. There was indeed a book inside, but that wasn't all. There was a candle, coffee scented, a set of rather fine pens, a beautiful, leatherbound notebook, a bar of what she knew was some of the Night Court's finest chocolate, some little flowers she thought might be soap, and a few other small things. There was a card, too.

"A subscription?"

"For the female who reads. Well, that's their slogan, anyway."

A book each month, she read. And different things along with it.

"You can choose the books in the next months. But I chose the first one. I think you'll like it. It's children's stories...I knew some of them, growing up."

It was...incredibly, surprisingly thoughtful, first of all. The kind of thing she would never think to buy herself, because she wasn't aware anything like this existed. And it would come every month. Which...while she was here...meant a lot. Every month, a new book, just for her. Along with all this other...stuff. Stuff she liked.

She looked up at him. "Thank you."

He pulled back—was he surprised? But he moved closer to her, after a moment. "You're welcome."

They didn't say anything else for a short while, but then Cassian told her he was going to take a shower, and she said she would get started on dinner, and they both turned to their respective new tasks.

But her eyes kept wandering in the direction of his bedroom, and she knew he was staring towards the kitchen.

---

December 20 - 4 years after

While her fellow townspeople in Sugar Valley are probably wreathing sugarberry crowns around their heads, Nesta is cleaning Cassian's kitchen. He's spent the past few days referring to it as their home, but that doesn't sit quite right with her. The location is wonderful; close to the shallower areas of the Sidra, all the necessities, and a park. But it's still in Velaris, and this isn't Nesta's home.

Tonight is the first time Nesta has had some proper time to herself since she's gotten here. Cassian has not left her side until a few hours ago, when some unexpected work came off and he had to leave before dinner.

It's not exactly uncomfortable, this never ending domesticity, it's just odd. Having him at her side all waking hours of the day. Not even Illyria had been like that.

The shift into it had been strange, and now the lack of anyone around her, the complete silence, is rather jarring, so Nesta doesn't even pause to wonder who is at the door when she hears the knock; just goes to open it.

And there she is: ink black hair braided over her shoulder, brown, wide set eyes unblinking, smooth brown skin seemingly unaffected by the cold—no trace of red in her cheeks, no raised hairs. But there is a slight quiver in her scarred wings that gives her away.

Emerie.

The pair don't say anything for...Nesta doesn't even know how long. But Emerie recovers first, and she says, "Can I come in?"

And Nesta, opening the door wider, says, "Of course," like this is a normal calling, like she's been expecting her.

The Gilameyvan hospitality Aysel, Miri, and Zeyn have carefully taught her escapes her now. She offers no tea, doesn't take her coat...Amorette would be disappointed. She likes to think Nesta's made progress.

"So," Emerie says finally. "You had children."

Who had told her, Nesta wonders. Was it Morrigan? "Yes. Three."

Emerie nods, looking around the living room, where they both stand. There's a bit more to look at than there was when Nesta arrived a few days ago—the children had picked out a painting from Feyre's gallery to hang on the wall—but not nearly enough to warrant the heavy silence.

Nesta doesn't like to talk about what doesn't concern her, so she doesn't ask about Morrigan. She doesn't need to, though, because after another minute of quiet, Emerie says, "I'm with Mor now."

"I heard," she says.

"I think you might like her, actually."

Nesta bites her tongue. Emerie notices.

"I meant if you two knew each other. Really. I know you both," she adds. Then she frowns a little.

"Emerie..."

Where to begin? Nesta's got no shortage of mistakes in her repertoire, but before her stands the result of one she is particularly sorry for. Emerie did nothing wrong.

There's a bluntness that must run in the veins of the Night Court people, because when Emerie says, "Why did you leave?" her voice is not accusing, but low and flat and hollow.

"Sit down," Nesta says, finding a spot on the couch herself.

Emerie sits, folding her skirts in as she does so. Nesta's lips tug upwards slightly. Despite being with Morrigan, Queen of the Dream Court, Emerie is still bedecked in her Illyrian simplicity. Does it drive her spare, what with her inclination towards those strips of crimson silk she calls dresses? Or does she like it, seeing Emerie as some kind of peasant fantasy?

Emerie doesn't repeat herself, but she sees the question etched in her face.

She's not cut out for these sort of conversations. She doesn't speak her mind, doesn't directly address any issues on the table. So if Emerie had done this to her, she would've just ignored it—perhaps pretended like it never happened and acted distant, perhaps never spoken to her again. But she's in the wrong here, and Emerie deserves what she wants: an explanation.

So Nesta steels herself, takes a deep breath, and tries to summon what Cassian had once seen in her. "I know I hurt you, but my leaving had nothing to do with you. I'm sorry." Then she holds her breath.

Emerie's eyes wander around the room. "Oh," she says finally.

Oh? Is that it? Emerie's not one for passionate displays of emotion—one of Nesta's favorite things about her—but she'd expected more of a dramatic response.

"So why did you leave, then?" she asks again.

Nesta blinks. "I couldn't stay. I thought...I deserved more."

Emerie is quiet again. "So why didn't you say anything to me?"

"I thought you'd talk me out of it."

"Well, you should've known better than that." There's not any sympathy or sharpness in her words. They're just there, black on white, clear as day, honest.

Nesta flinches. She's right. Emerie has only ever told her to do the smart, right thing for herself. By way of poorly formed metaphors about her own regrets, maybe, but nonetheless. "I'm sorry."

"I should go," Emerie says, standing.

Nesta stands too. "I'll walk you out."

Every step is painfully awkward and also just painful. She never meant to hurt Emerie, but she's not sure how much that's worth.

Emerie stops abruptly at the front door. "I'll meet them tomorrow?" she asks.

"Meet whom?"

"Your children."

"Oh," Nesta says. "Yes. Well. If you'll be there for dinner."

"I will."

"Then...yes."

"All right," Emerie says, then leaves. She doesn't look back, but Nesta can't stop staring at her.

When she finally does manage to tear herself away from the front windows, long after Emerie has disappeared from sight, Nesta drags herself to bed, glass of wine in hand. She knew a trip to Velaris and all it brings might trigger some...old habits of hers, so she makes sure to leave the bottle downstairs in the kitchen and sip slowly.

She hears Cassian come in a half an hour later. He finds her in her room, staring unblinking out onto the dark waters of the Sidra.

"Nesta?" he asks.

"Oh, hello," she says, not moving her eyes.

He walks over and sits on the bed, blocking her view. "Are you all right?"

She focuses on his face. His eyebrows are pulled together, his lips pressed. "What's wrong?"

She drains what's left in her glass and sets it down on the nightstand, then lays herself down on the bed. Tucking a hand underneath her head, she pulls her hair from its ties and braids and sprawls it out.

He lies down next to her maneuvering his wings so they aren't touching her. "Emerie came?"

She doesn't answer.

"What did she say?"

Nesta waits a few seconds before saying, "She asked why."

"Oh."

He shares in the quiet with her. Minutes go by, and he doesn't say anything, only waits. She doesn't know if he means it as an offering of partnership, but she takes it as such.

"I don't have a good answer for her," she whispers.

"That's all right," he tells her, matching her pitch. "She's fine. She missed you but she's fine."

"It was wrong."

"That's all right too."

If Emerie forgives her, does she have to forgive everyone else? If that's true, then does she want Emerie to forgive her? Of course she does—the only other option is that Emerie is angry with her, or that she doesn't matter to her anymore. Which is worse, she wonders, causing someone pain, proving your importance to them, or having them move on? She doesn't trust herself to come up with an answer. What if she's too sel—

Cassian puts his hand on hers. "Stop thinking so loudly." His tone is teasing but Nesta knows he's serious.

She moves her eyes from the ceiling to his face, tilting her head a little.

"You're back now," he says quietly.

Nesta looks back at the ceiling.

"Emerie loves you more than you hurt her. It's true," he adds, sensing her doubt. He squeezes her hand.

She holds her breath. Is he going to say what she suspects? She doesn't know if she wants him too.

But Cassian only rubs his thumb on hers. "You've said your piece. All you can do is wait for her to make her choice."

"I'm not very good at saying my piece." She's never been good at talking on the spot. She doesn't have the natural charisma Cassian or Feyre have, none of Elain's likability. She's too prickly and stiff.

"Some of us like you anyway."

That makes her laugh a little. "Thanks."

"Let go of your thoughts," he says. "Focus on your breathing and mine."

She listens to him, and at first, it takes up most of her concentration, and then it all fades away. Before she slips under, the only thing she's aware of his hand on hers and the shadow of his wings over them both.

---

December 20 - 1 year after

Sugar Valley was all closed for the holiday, but everyone was still outside, wandering the town, shouting festive-themed pleasantries instead of the usual "come round for jam!"s that Nesta normally heard. Snow fell to the ground, but not so much as Illyria had had last year. Little enough that she could walk around outside.

She hadn't expected to actually go to this silly party that Zeyn had told her about, but he and Miri and even Leyla, one of the other archivists, had spoken to her about it at length and prodded her again and again to come.

So she did, opting for a dress in a pale lilac instead of her usual grey, in an attempt to be festive. She was never one for bright colors, but before it all, she did wear more than just charcoal and the occasional blue.

Leyla seemed to like the dress, as she complimented her on it as soon as Nesta entered the store, shrugging off her cloak.

"Where did you get it?" she asked, beaming at her.

"Maternity aisle at Classia's," Nesta answered, referring to a small boutique in town. The female who ran it was from Prythian, which had made Nesta tense before stepping inside. But she hadn't seemed to recognise her, or at least, she hadn't said anything if she did.

"I love maternity clothes," Leyla gushed.

Perhaps she was trying to be nice, but Nesta just didn't know what to reply to that. But Zeyn came in from the back room just then and lit up when he saw her.

"You came!"

"Yes," she said. They all said odd things here, didn't they?

"Have some of the isti," Zeyn said, waving her towards the table. Isti was what they called that delicious berry-chocolate drink he had given her before.

The store was handsomely decorated, with sugarberries strung up along the shelves and tiny twinkling faelights dotted here and there. Her dress, as it turned out, was not as festive as she thought, because everyone here was dressed in deep burgundy; the same color as their patron fruit. Oh, well. Shades of purple, all the same.

"Nesta," Miri greeted her from behind. "Here, take a wreath." And she placed something atop her head.

Nesta took it off to look at it. "What does Solstice have to do with sugarberries?" she asked, genuinely curious.

"Every solstice and equinox is a chance to celebrate our home," Miri said.

"Do they bloom year-round?"

"They do here."

Sugarberries looked very much like the stuff that had grown on trees by their shabby little cottage under the Wall. Nesta remembered Feyre eying them one winter, and Elain informing her not to bother, that they were poisonous.

Perhaps the magic kept them from being so. Or perhaps that which was harmful to humans was pleasant to faeries. Or maybe they were just a different fruit.

"How are you doing?"

"All right," Nesta answered automatically. She was most certainly not doing all right. Pregnancy was a nightmare. She was vaguely aware of passers-by eyes lingering on her for longer than strictly necessary, and, to be frank, she had seen her own reflection—she knew that the weight she had gained in her first trimester only rounded out her curves. But nothing about Nesta was lovely when she put herself to bed at night, feet blistering from simply standing, and waking up a few short hours later to violently vomit everything she had eaten the previous day.

Amorette Dadashov, her healer, assured her it was normal for a fae pregnancy. That might comfort Nesta later, when she wasn't starting and ending every day in pain.

"Have a seat," Miri said, pulling up a chair. "You look tired."

She was exhausted. Amorette had told her that was a normal part of pregnancy, too.

"Good of you to come," Miri said.

"It's very important to the shop, isn't it?"

"Yes," Miri said, after a short beat. "Sit here, dear. I'm going to drag Adil out."

She came back a few minutes later, a grumbling Adil in tow. "Don't see what the point is. We see each other every day. We'll see each other tomorrow at the town's parade."

"Hush," Miri said. "Sit with Nesta. String wreaths."

Nesta had not been to any real holiday parties, but this one still struck her as odd. Adil was right—they did see each other every day. It wasn't even the holiday yet, it was still the day before.

"Do you not like Solstice?"

Nesta looked up from her wreath. She wasn't very good at making them. She kept dropping the berries trying to string them. "You don't look like you're particularly enjoying yourself."

"I am," he said seriously. "Well, Miri is. That's the same."

Nesta averted her eyes. How did you look at someone when they spoke of another person like that?

Adil cleared his throat. "I think there might be something I have you should read."

"Oh...human-authored?"

"No, not a book. Well, it's not really mine. It's from the bank."

Nesta frowned. Her account was all in order, and it wasn't through her employer. "The bank?"

"I...spoke to Erest. Our councilhead?"

She'd met him. She'd been expecting someone like the High Lords, and he was irritating, but in a harmless way. Like everyone else she had met here. "All right," she said, wondering where this was going.

His brow furrowed, deep blue lips a thin line. "You're not registered as a citizen of Sugar Valley yet."

"I know," she said. Amorette had mentioned something about it to her in passing.

"Well, if you were...it'll be easier for you to buy a house here. Easier to sign up for nurseries, too."

Nurseries? All Nesta had decided was that she wasn't terminating the pregnancy.

"Well, I don't think I'm in the market for a house."

"There's a property in one of the younger neighborhoods," he said. "Spacious...enough. Nice yard. Close to the town's center. You should look. It never hurts to look."

"I...really don't think I can afford a house right now—"

"No. You'll be able to afford this one." He didn't look at her, just picked at his wreath. "You should look at it."

Had he struck some sort of deal with the councilhead? No one had ever attempted to give Nesta her own space before...

"I will."

He gave the slightest nod in answer. She didn't thank him, but she got the feeling she wasn't supposed to.

---

December 21 - 4 years after

Nesta's quiet, contented sleep is interrupted before the rising sun hits her through the window by an excited little voice rushing in along with small footsteps.

"Mummy, Mummy, it's Solstice morning, come—"

Nicky stops abruptly as both Nesta and Cassian sit up in bed. His eyes widen, and dart between both of them. He wrings his hands in front of him and sucks in his cheeks.

Nesta's face burns, splotchy redness surely covering her cheeks. "It's all right!" she says, trying to speak calmly and failing miserably. "It's all right! You can come here, Nicky!" She holds out her arms and waves him over.

Nicky, unsure of himself, walks towards her slowly. He stops every few steps and looks around. His cheeks redden slightly, too.

"Good morning," she says, pulling him closer and dropping a kiss on his forehead.

"Happy Solstice," Cassian adds.

Nicky looks up at her. She nods at him encouragingly. "Did you want something from Mummy, angel?"

"I was going to tell you that it's Solstice."

"It is, you're right."

"Are you hungry? Do you want breakfast? We can go get started while Mummy wakes up Ava and Ollie."

"Do you want to go make breakfast with Appa?" she asks him. He nods and she gives him another kiss. "All right, go on."

Without making eye contact with Cassian, she passes Nicky to him. She smooths her hair as they leave.

She'll have to talk to Nicky, of course. Tell him...what? She'll have to ask him what he thinks, first. To see if she needs to reassure him or answer his questions—oh, fuck, he'll tell his siblings, won't he? Of course he will. It's Nicky. He doesn't have a discreet bone in his body. Hopefully Cassian will have distracted him enough by the time she brings Avery and Ollie down.

What'll she say to Cassian? She's not angry he stayed; just mortified Nicky saw them. Is she mortified? She's not sure. She won't be able to tell what she's feeling until...well, it'll be a while until she gets to talk to Amorette, won't it? And that's how she normally decides her feelings on matters of this sort.

She thinks she's managed to pull herself together enough to rouse Avery and Ollie, but she must be mistaken, because Avery asks her what's wrong before moaning that she's still tired.

"Nothing, ladybug," she assures her. "Everything's fine. Come, let's brush our teeth...Appa and Nicky are making us breakfast..."

As she helps the children with the sink—there's no step stool in this house—she comes to the conclusion that she's furious with herself. She had to pick today to fall asleep in bed with Cassian? Today, before seeing the Feyre's Inner Circle for the first time in years? Amren and Morrigan and Rhysand and even Azriel...why has she done this to herself?

"You'll be smarter than Mummy, won't you, Avery?" she mumbles.

"What, Mummy?"

"Nothing, nothing..."

Thirty seconds after entering the kitchen, where Cassian is holding Nicky in one arm and preparing eggs over the stove in the other, it becomes clear to Nesta that avoiding talking about this is going to be difficult, because Cassian seems as determined to catch her eye and talk to her as she is against doing so.

"You all can stay here with Appa, can't you?" she says brightly. "Mummy's going to get dressed." And take a bath for much longer than necessary. Perhaps that'll help her clear her head.

January 18 - Year of

Cassian hadn't left since coming back from Velaris. Nesta didn't ask why the trips to other camps had been canceled, nervous about his answer. But while he was here, while he did not bring her letters from her sisters...she was...enjoying it.

Things at the clothier were doing better. Nesta's ordering strategy worked, and Emerie seemed pleased. She shared lunch with her every day, and went back home in the evenings to have dinner with Cassian.

Even the throbbing pain in her head had ceased. Occasionally, Nesta still wanted a drink, but it had been over five months since she last had one, and sometimes there were whole days where the thought didn't cross her mind even once.

When Cassian showed up to Emerie's shop one afternoon in mid-January, basket of sandwiches in hand, Nesta didn't make up an excuse to rush out like she had last time.

"Lunch break?" he asked them both.

Emerie looked at her sideways. A small smile tugged at Nesta's lips at the sight of her unease; for someone who had only ever seen Cassian as an untouchable, more mythic creature than real person, she imagined him walking into your place of work and offering you a picnic basket would be very odd indeed.

But Emerie might have been a bit more used to Nesta and all things that came for her, because she shrugged a little and said, "All right."

So there they sat, in the back room, which Nesta had once told Cassian was employees only. She hoped he didn't remember, but judging by his smirk he did. She rolled her eyes in response.

"How's business?" he asked.

Emerie glanced at Nesta with narrowed eyes before answering. "Good. How is..." Emerie trailed off. What could she say? How is the growing restlessness amongst the legions, the steadily rising number of rebels, the threats of civil war?

"Everything's fine," Cassian said.

"You've been here more often," Emerie noted.

"More for me to do here."

What that could possibly mean, Nesta had no idea. She saw him going over reports sometimes, but that was about it. And Cassian wasn't like her; he couldn't just sit at home and read a book. An afternoon walk was not enough to invigorate him, he needed something properly challenging.

"Although I'm going to be leaving soon," he continued. "Train a group of females."

"Who are they?" Nesta asked.

"Soldiers."

"I thought you didn't have female soldiers."

"We should," he said. "It doesn't make sense to cut out half our possible numbers automatically."

"Do they want to be soldiers?" Nesta asked, looking sideways at Emerie. Nesta would not want to be one—for anyone, but definitely not for an army who sliced their daughters' bodies like that.

"Of course they do," he said.

She frowned. "I don't think wanting to be a soldier is such an obvious desire."

"They're Illyrian," he said, pouring them juice from the jug he had brought.

"I don't want to be a soldier," Emerie spoke up.

Cassian's eyes slid towards her. "We don't force anyone. But females should be allowed, if they want. If they have something to give."

Emerie shrugged.

Nesta didn't love a land enough to be willing to risk being torn apart on a battlefield for. "Why are you so keen on females fighting in combat?" she asked. "Don't you think if they really wanted to, they would have found some way to do so by now?"

"It's not true that you don't force anyone," Emerie said softly.

Cassian flinched.

"It's not Cassian's fault your cousin died, Emerie," Nesta said, without missing a beat.

Cassian seemed to hold his breath, but that was unnecessary. Emerie and Nesta knew each other well enough by now to allow for such statements.

"I know that," she said. "I don't blame him."

Nesta thought Cassian might have some long-suffering response to that, like You're the only one, or something noble, like I take responsibility anyway, but when she turned to him, he was only staring at her. Hazel eyes tense and studying, like she was one of his reports.

December 21 - 4 years after

Per Nesta's request to Cassian, Solstice dinner has been moved up several hours, so the children can participate. By five their carriage pulls up in front of Feyre's manor, and the children are vibrating with excitement.

"Nesta, maybe we could have a word before we go in?" Cassian says to her in a low voice.

"I think we want to go inside and see our presents," Nesta says, loudly, brightly, so the triplets' cheers drown out Cassian's request.

He frowns only a little—it's hard not to be taken with the sheer joy on their tiny faces. So he quickly grins and says, "All right, let's go in, then."

Nesta had her own suitcase full of gifts from herself and Sugar Valley townspeople delivered earlier (except for what she had intended to bring Cassian—she has left that at his house), and she has nothing to hold in her hands as a buffer. So for the second time this evening, she uses her children to her advantage, and picks up Ollie; the child least likely to try and wriggle out of her arms, leaving her defenseless.

Cassian leads them up to the front door. It's thrown open before they have a chance to get there, and Elain hurries out to greet them.

"Happy Solstice!" she trills, pulling in Avery and Nicky for a hug. "Come in, come in! We're all waiting for you!"

Feyre, beaming, takes their coats. She has a circlet set atop her head, her golden-brown locks lightly curling down. A gift from Rhysand, no doubt. But not for Solstice.

"Happy birthday," Nesta says to her.

Feyre's eyes flutter. "Oh, thank you!"

Nesta stifles an eyeroll. Did she think she had forgotten?

"Now, we thought you might like to keep things casual, you know, with them, so we haven't really planned for a sit-down meal...we thought they'd like presents more...is that all right?"

Nesta frowns. "I mean, we haven't fed them—"

"No, I know, I meant we're just not going to make them sit around a table. There's food! Lots of food! Just on tables. And we're all in couches. Is that all right? Right in here, see?"

See she does. Everyone.

She is pleased she's holding Ollie, as it appears to be working in his favor too, judging by how tightly he grips her as he takes in, for the first time in his life, five adults he has never seen before. Even Avery and Nicky seem a bit taken aback, with Nicky stepping a little closer to Cassian's legs and Avery looking up at him, slightly dazed.

The Inner Circle sits on assorted couches and armchairs, all dressed for the occasion. A large table of food is on the right side of the room, with bottles of fine wine and fruit drinks too. In the middle, creating a small mountain on the floor, is a pile of presents.

Amren is there, already clad in a dozen glittering jewels. Her hair is shorter than it had been last time Nesta saw her, but her silver eyes are the same: unblinking, unwavering in her stare. Their gaze locks, but she draws her eyes away, towards Cassian, when he speaks.

"These are Ava and Nicky," he says, scooping them both up and smiling down at them when they giggle, "and that's Ollie with Nesta."

Morrigan, sharing a loveseat with Emerie, is the first to stand. "Hello, Nesta," she says, face blank. Nesta does her best to keep her expression free of ire as she nods in return. "Hi there," she says, much more warmly. "Ava and Nicky and Ollie...hi. I'm Mor." She gives them an affectionate smile, brown eyes crinkled and twinkling. She reaches out her hand...to touch them? She doesn't seem to know what to do, hesitating, and settles on patting Avery's leg.

"Are you hungry?" Feyre asks. "Look, we've got food here...Nicky, you like turkey, don't you?"

"No, I don't," he answers.

"He does," Nesta tells her. "He just doesn't remember what it's called."

"Oh. Here's the table..." Feyre waves over, rather unnecessarily, at the spread of food. Normally Nesta doesn't like buffet styles, but she admits to herself that it'll definitely go over better. She can see each of her children eyeing the gifts. There's no chance of getting them to sit at a table.

"We're getting plates of food before we're opening presents," she says, looking at them. "All right?"

Nesta hasn't eaten since lunch, but being here makes her appetite disappear, so she only fixes a plot for Ollie. She sits on one of the empty couches with him on her lap. Avery sits with Cassian and Nicky sits with Elain.

The initial awkward quiet is quickly dissipated by her sisters' determination to keep the evening lovely, so they force their friends and her children into conversation. Avery, of course, takes to them all like a dragon to the skies, and Nicky does too (after looking at his elder sister, and following her lead), but Ollie keeps looking down at his lap and blushing.

"It's all right," she murmurs, kissing the top of his head. "Would you like to open presents now?"

He nods, still looking down, but his siblings hold no such qualms.

"Yes, I want to!"

"I also want to! Mummy, can I?"

"Can they, Nesta?" Feyre says, nearly begging, batting her eyes.

"Sure."

"Yes! All right, Ava...this one's from me..."

"Here, Ollie," Elain says, radiating joy as she grabs a box and walks over to him. "This is for you!"

"Thank you, Aunt Elain," he says shyly. He looks up at Nesta.

"You can open it," she encourages him. "Nicky, what do you say?"

"Thank you!"

The flurry of presents commences, with the adults in the party opening theirs as well. Glittering trinkets for Amren, of course, and some jokes about Morrigan getting everyone the same thing.

"Here, Nesta, this is from me," Feyre says, handing over a gift.

Nesta blinks. "Oh. Thanks."

She gently slides Ollie over to Elain, but he is so taken with his—eugh—live caterpillar, in an aquarium, he hardly notices. Acutely aware of Feyre's eyes on her, Nesta opens the present. A small gasp escapes her.

Four portraits—just like the ones that decorate this house, except inherently better, because these are of her children. One of each of them, grinning broadly, painted to perfection—Feyre's quite good, isn't she—and one of the four of them. Remarkable, Nesta thinks, how her sister has managed to create something she has never seen before, for she has never seen Nesta playing with the children in the park like this, in these positions.

Nicky looks over. "It's me!" he says. "It's me and Ava and Ollie and Mummy!"

Nesta picks up her head. Feyre's hands are held tightly at her mouth. She's bouncing up and down a little—much like the children do, actually, she thinks with a small smile.

"Do you like it?"

"I do," Nesta says, pleased to find her voice is even. "Thank you."

"I'm so glad," she says, relieved.

"Feyre, this is for you," Azriel says, passing Feyre a smaller package. "Elain, this one's yours..."

"Oh—Nesta, is this from you?" Elain asks, surprised.

"Yes," she says shortly.

"I...thank you."

"You haven't opened them yet," she says to them both.

They exchange a look before they do. In fact, it seems as though everyone except the children pauses to watch Elain and Feyre open what Nesta got for them. What are they expecting? She knows her sisters. She knows what they like.

"Oh, wow, Nesta," Feyre says, looking at the paint set. "From the Continent?"

Of course it is. Nesta lives on the Continent. "It's natural paint," she says. "Locally made. With the berries. And that's a sugarberry tree sapling, Elain."

"Oh, I've got my work cut out for me, don't I!" Elain says, excited.

"Why have you got your work—"

"They're really hands-on outside of Gilameyva...I've been doing a bit of research...oh, but it's actually best to plant them right in mid-winter, so this is perfect...Nesta, this is for you, from you friends in Sugar Valley, I think."

The gift exchange still is not over, after another ten minutes—the sheer amount of nonsense gifted to her children is staggering, but she cannot bring herself to be upset at the irrationality of it. They're overjoyed. But Nicky asks for a pause, so Nesta can take him to the bathroom, and then asks for orange juice on the way back, and because there wasn't any in the sitting room, she takes him into the kitchen herself. She intends to ask him about what he had seen earlier that morning, but when they enter the room, Emerie is there, sitting at the bar.

She stands when she sees them. "Hello, Nesta. N-Nicky." She gives Nesta's son a curt nod.

"Hi!"

"Hello, Emerie. Nicky...here's some orange juice. Appa will pour it for you."

"Okay, thank you Mummy," he says, taking it from her, holding the carton with both his hands.

Nesta waits until Nicky is out of earshot before she blurts out, "Can I ask you something?"

Emerie startles. Oh, had she wanted to say something? Cassian had told her that it is Emerie's turn to speak, didn't he?

"Unless you want to say something."

"Er, no, that's...all right."

"Well," Nesta says. How to put this delicately. "Nicky walked in on Cassian in my bed this morning. With me."

Judging by how wide Emerie's eyes go, that was not the correct choice. "We didn't do anything," she hurries to say. "He just fell asleep."

"Oh," Emerie says, the color of her cheeks going back to normal. "Well. Is that so bad?"

"I don't know," Nesta says, miserable. Amorette would know. She should have just waited to go home and ask her. Emerie doesn't know children.

"I don't think it's so bad," Emerie says, trying to be helpful. "I mean...if he sees it a lot more, he'll think it's normal."

"I don't know if he's going to be seeing it a lot more. So this might...confuse him."

"Oh," Emerie says. "Oh, we assumed...oh."

"You assumed what? Who's we?"

"Er, Mor and I. And, ah, everyone. That you two...would be...well. Together."

Nesta shakes her head and looks around the room. "Well—I don't know why you would assume that," she says lamely.

"Oh," Emerie says again.

"We're not. Together, I mean."

"And you won't be?"

Nesta purses her lips.

"Oh."

"It's complicated," Nesta says, finally.

Emerie plays with her braid, her wings relaxing slightly. "That's what I love about Mor, you know. She makes everything simple. Everything's easy." A slight trace of amusement shines through Emerie's dark eyes. "One would think three children and a love story would be simple, too."

"There's no..." Nesta starts to protest, but stops. Emerie was there for it, after all. There's no point in pretending with her. So she changes pace. "We used to be simple," she says softly.

"I told Mor that," Emerie says in the same tone. "I know you two...don't get along. But I told her...I always tell her, we were...friends."

They were. At a time where Nesta didn't have any—and Emerie didn't, either. That makes Nesta's leaving her without even saying goodbye more reprehensible.

"I don't think Nicky will be traumatized," Emerie says. She smiles slightly. "I wasn't, after all."

A short, breathless, embarrassed laugh escapes Nesta's mouth. She had forgotten about that. "Well that's...good to hear."

Emerie opens her mouth, but she is cut off by the sound of Nicky and Avery having a conversation in the hallway.

"I think Mummy stayed in the kitchen because she was angry," Nicky is saying.

"Mummy doesn't know how to be angry," Avery replies. "Mummy?" she calls out.

"In here, ladybug."

Nicky and Avery walk in, hand-in-hand. Emerie looks a little taken aback.

"Are you coming back, Mummy?"

"Yes, angels," she says. "Ah, Emerie, are you coming?"

"Yes," she says shortly. She hesitates. "Did they walk here by themselves?" she says to Nesta, under her breath.

"Yes," Nesta answers, bemused.

"He remembered the way?"

Nesta laughs. "Avery, Nicky, why don't you tell Emerie what you like to do at school?"

The entire walk back, Nesta watches Emerie's eyes grow wider and wider as the pair of them trip over themselves trying to talk about their friends and their drawings and their trips to the park and their flying lessons.

She knows Emerie's reaction well. She experiences it herself often enough. Three real, unique people.

Hours later, when Feyre declares the evening a success, and she and Cassian carry the children's sleeping forms into the carriage, and Rhysand and Azriel carry out the trunks of gifts for them, Emerie whispers to her, "I hadn't realized...perhaps you should talk to Nicky."

And when Cassian finally catches her eye—there is nowhere else to look—she knows she has to talk to him, too.

---

Chapter Seventeen

#like pristine glass #nessian fanfiction #acotar fanfiction #wow yeah i'm like prepping this post as my beta is editing it #and i have nothing to say?#ummm this weekend is 9 years to my bat mitzvah?#i think i've worked up the nerve to start a booktube?#that's it #is starting a booktube the girl version of a podcast? no. i'm hilarious.#and self aware.#anyway hope you like this! lmk if you do!

54 notes · View notes

whitetigerdemoness · 5 years ago

Text

Part three of Evillustrator vs Lila. Evillustrator and his new ally finally have Lila right where they want her! Now if only he can stop mutually fawning over his cute partner long enough to do something to her. Some quick concept sketches at the bottom of the new Akumas.

Master post of all chapters

School today had been tense for Marinette to say the least. No one had been brave enough to say anything to her face, but she still heard murmurs. Some about how she had tricked Nathaniel into siding with her against Lila. Some about How Ladybug had yet to cure Evillustrator despite it having been more than 24 hours. True, no one knew the second set of gossip was about her, but she still felt bad about it.

She and Chatnoir had pulled an all nighter last night looking for the artistic akuma and hand’t found a single red hair of him. She was getting kind of worried to be honest. Akuma’s didn’t just disappear, they stomped around and caused chaos. They kidnapped people and made demands.

“Oh my gosh! guys! Turn on your phones, Lila is on the news!”

Of course she is. Marinette scowled to herself. Probably telling the whole city her sob story, like she had to the police yesterday. Like she had to Ladybug and Chatnoir when they, desperate for leads, asked her to retell how her classmate had been akumatized. God, Marinette wanted a nap. She was so tired of Lila.

“Hello Paris!”

Wait. That wasn’t Lila. Marinette scrambled to pull out her phone.

“So happy you could join us all today for this very special episode of the Morning Gossip! I’m Penknight, formerly known as Evillustrator, and this beautiful gem is my partner, Prism.” Marinette’s trained designer eyes could definitely see traces of Evillustrator in Penknight’s costume. Take away the little armor pieces and he might still be Evillustrator. The giggling akuma he was holding hands with was new though. A white robed figure with a black face and solid green eyes stared at Penknight with obvious adoration. The only color on them was what looked like a multicolor ponytail hanging over one shoulder.

“Oh, and we can’t forget our super special guest Lila Rossi.” The two akuma’s stepped aside to reveal Lila tied up like a caterpillar on the interview couch, sitting next to a nervous looking Nadia Chamack and...Jagged Stone? Nadia and Jagged were free of restraints but looked uncomfortable none the less.

“We’re sorry to just show up unannounced and crash you interview Jagged, but when we heard you were in the area we just had to bring Lila to come see you! She’s always telling us how close the two of you are, but how your busy schedule prevents you from getting together often.” The new akuma, Prism, was leaning against one of Penknight’s arms like a school girl with a crush. She (he? Marinette couldn’t actually tell) spoke in an airy, distracted kind of way. They might have been talking to Jagged but their eyes were only for Penknight, who was gazing back with an equally adoring look. It would be cute if they weren’t possessed by a villain with a butterfly theme.

“It was all my sweet Prism’s idea. So thoughtful!” Penknight cooed, leaning down slightly to rub noses with the other akuma.

“Oh, but it wouldn’t have been possible without my strong, handsome knight.” Prism sighed dreamily. The two continued to giggle and whisper to each other too low for the set microphone to catch until Jagged cleared his throat.

“Um, yeah, it was so nice of you lovelies to arrange this, but I have to say I’ve never seen this girl before in my life.” Lila looked like a ghost she had gone so white. Fitting, as the revelation made the entire classroom quiet as a mausoleum.

“That’s fine!” Penknight laughed, waving a hand as if to brush away imaginary cobwebs. “I’m sure Nadia is happy to see her! Lila sits next to me in class you know, and she has been very excited about her internship with you. She talks about it all the time.” The set microphone started to whine with slight feedback the studio was so quiet.

“I...Penknight, correct? I’m sorry to tell you I’ve never met this young woman. The only student interns we have right now are Aurore and Mirelle.” Lila looked like she had swallowed a lemon tree. Penknight looked like he had won the lottery. Marinette felt like she had won the lottery. Judging by the stunned glances the rest of her class was giving her, Lila’s reign of terror was over.

“Oh dear, don’t cry!” Prism soothed, gently stroking Lila on the head. “So you’ve told a few lies to make people like you, who hasn’t! The important part is that you’re ready to stop making things up now and become your true self.” The white robe Prism had been wearing unfolded around them (him, definitely a him Marinette thought, or else a REALLY flat chested girl...) revealing the robe to actually be a pair of gigantic, rainbow colored butterfly wings. Wings that began to sparkle as Marinette remembered oh yeah, she was a super hero and shouldn’t she be stopping this? The bluenette stammered an excuse about the bathroom and ran out of the classroom. Hopefully Ladybug could reach the studio before the two Akuma damaged more than just Lila’s reputation.

-------------------------------------------------------------

Ladybug may be running late, but Adrien had made the transformation to Chatnoir the moment he had seen Lila on tv. Even as exhausted as he was from searching all night for Evillustrator it had still been relatively simple for him to slip out of class while everyone else was occupied with Lila’s latest drama. Chatnoir burst into the studio just as Prism shot Lila with multicolored light from his wings.

The change was instantaneous. Where before had sat a moderately attractive young woman was now an absolutely hideous old hag.

“My knight, if you would?” Prism asked, untying Lila. Penknight nodded and scribbled a quick sketch on the tablet attached to his arm. A floor length mirror popped into existence.

“This is what happens when you lie and manipulate people. You may think you are making life better for yourself, but all you’re really doing is destroying your inner self.” If Chatnoir was being perfectly honest, he felt bad for Lila. Maybe Prism did too. The akuma was gently patting what remained of Lila’s hair as she sunk to the floor with a scream and began sobbing in earnest. Penknight just looked satisfied.

“Humiliating people isn’t very chivalrous. Luckily for you I’m here to send you back to knight school.” Chatnoir quipped, making a shooing motion at Nadia, Jagged, and the camera crew who gladly took the hint and ran out of the studio. Good. It was easier to deal with akuma when civilians weren’t in the way. Akumas who were now smirking at him like a cat in the cream. Oh, that couldn’t be good...

“Chatnoir! Great of you to finally show up, and without Ladybug! That just makes this even easier!” Penknight boasted, snapping the tablet off of his arm. The device glowed and elongated into a giant old fashioned pen, no, wait, was that a sword? Could Evillustrator do that before? Chat really didn’t like where this was going.

“If you’re asking for a duel, I’ll have to warn you. I’m pretty skilled in sword play.” Chatnoir confidently boasted, extending his baton.

“Duel? Don’t be silly Chatnoir. I’m just going to make you a little more comfortable while we wait for Ladybug. Creation!” Penknight stabbed his sword into the ground, a beam of light racing towards Chatnoir as the superhero thought, oh shit!

------------------------------------------------------------------------

“Ladybug! Chatnoir has the akuma cornered in studio seven!”

“Thanks Nadia! Now get to safety!” Ladybug raced through the halls, grateful that the black cat was already on the scene. Evillustrator was a tough enemy, and Ladybug was willing to bet his change of style meant more than just a new outfit. Studio seven...studio seven...there!

“My lady wait-!”

“Ah!” Ladybug yelped as a net sprang up from the floor as soon as she entered, binding her from her feet to her neck.

“Hello Ladybug. Better late than never.” Prism waved from where he was sitting on Chatnoir who had been similarly imprisoned from the neck down. Except where she was in a net he was in some sort of iron casing. The hero lay on his side looking very distressed. Penknight sauntered over from where he had been standing behind the studio doors, the net undoubtedly his doing. Further into the studio was a hunched, sobbing figure Ladybug assumed was Lila.

“Penknight! Prism! Let Lila Rossi go! She has nothing to do with this.” Penknight shook his head as he walked over to the camera, turning it to face the imprisoned heroes.

“She has everything to do with this, but honestly she’s been free to go since Chatnoir got here. Having had her lies refuted on live, public television she’s a bit too distraught to think about escaping, you understand. Before we give your miraculous to Hawkmoth, lets dispel one more. Ladybug, is it true that Lila is your best friend?” Ladybug’s mind was racing a mile a minute, looking for a way out of this predicament. She’d stall for time for now.

“No, and I’ve said as much before. The only way I know Lila Rossi is because she has been akumatized, something she will happily boast about if asked.”

“My Lady-” Chatnoir started, sweating and looking strained, only to be cut off by a faint beeping.

“Chat? Was...was that your ring?” Ladybug whispered in horror, already knowing the answer from the look on her partners face.

“He really doesn’t have much time before he transforms back. I’m glad we got one last confession before cutting the news feed.” Penknight said, slashing the camera in half with his sword. “We really don’t have anything against you two, and we’d like to keep your identities secret out of respect if we can.” The akuma sounded mildly regretful.

“I’m sorry, my lady. They outsmarted me.” Chatnoir said, ears drooping.

“Don’t feel too bad.” Prism said, using his feet to roll Chatnoir back and forth slightly, still sitting on him. A rattling sound came from within the iron barrel. “It was a pretty simple trick, I’m surprised no one thought of it before. All we did was encase this poor kitty in two traps that didn’t touch each other. So when he cataclysmed the inner one, the outer one was still intact and- wait.” Prism chuckled. “Why am I explaining this to you? We might have to wait for Chatnoir to transform back, but we can just take your earrings now.”

“Lucky Charm!” Ladybug gasped in alarm. Oh thank Tiki, she thought as she felt the handle of a knife pop into her hand. Penknight lunged for her earrings, but she managed to slip free of the net just in time.

“Bringing a knife to a sword fight? I like my odds.” Penknight sneered, sizing her up. Another beep came from Chatnoir’s ring.

“My lady, please, run.” She did.

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------

“Well, that wasn’t very nice of her. I thought heroes were the ‘together to the end’ types.” Prism said, watching Penknight race out of the studio after Ladybug.

“Ladybug is smart. She knows when to make a sacrifice.” Chatnoir sighed, heart aching. He might be done for, but at least Ladybug was safe. For now.

“Oh.” Prism said, giving Chatnoir a gentle expression. “You really love her, don’t you?”

“What would you know about it?” Chatnoir grumbled. He expected Prism to be angry, instead the akuma only laughed.

“About love? A few things. It’s what akumatized me after all. The boy I liked told me in the most beautiful way that he liked me back and the next thing I know...” Prism unfolded his wings and held a hand to his heart. “This had happened. It’s probably fortunate for you Hawkmoth prefers to use negative emotions, or you and Ladybug would never win.”

“Yeah? What makes you say that?” The sweat running down his face was making Chatnoir want to sneeze. What a great time to have his hands literally tied.

“Well,” Prism laughed again. “I don’t have an akumatized object for one. The akuma is in my heart. How would you even get it out? I don’t take either of you to be the type that would be ok with dismemberment.”

What ever Chatnoir was going to say in return was cut off as his miraculous gave one final beep and detransformed him. It was over. He’d lost. Adrien was just glad Penknight had destroyed the camera before he left.

“Adrien? Adrien Agreste?But...wow. I wasn’t expecting-” A purple butterfly mask made of light appeared on Prism’s face, a sure sign that Hawkmoth was talking to him. From the sound of the one sided conversation the villain was making some ridiculous demands too.

“Let him go? Hawkmoth are you insane, we have him right where we want him! The cat miraculous is finally yours-yes-no-but! No! Why would he help you? I, ugh!” Prism collapsed as if in pain, writhing on the floor. Moments later a black butterfly rose from his form, leaving only Marc Anciel behind. Oh. Adrien thought. That makes sense, considering Penknight used to be Nathaniel. The blonde swore the only one who didn’t know the artist was head over heels for the quiet writer was Marc himself. Imagine being that oblivious. Crazy.

Marc blinked at him in confusion, memories from his time as an akuma gone. The akuma in question flapped it’s way across the studio to land...on Lila. Volpina rose from the girl’s hunched form, face twisted into a furious snarl.

“You.” She growled, pointing her flute at Marc, “Will PAY for what you did to me.”

#miraculous ladybug #lila rossi #nathaniel kurtzberg #marc anciel

58 notes · View notes

youlooklikearealbabetoday · 6 years ago

Text

the conversation between eve and konstantin in 2x03 is easily one of my favorite exchanges in the entire series so far. these two people, not adversaries but also not quite allies, with one singular person ultimately tying them together. sandra and kim owned this shit. of course the following are all just my thoughts, others may see this differently, but what stood out to me is konstantin’s gross underestimating the level of eve and villanelle’s connection. sure, he’s saying a good deal of these things selfishly motivated in hopes of he and villanelle going freelance without eve and mi6 breathing down their necks (and yes i think he was planning it since he was recovered by mi6 he’s a smart dude lol) and the rest of what he says is based on his understanding of villanelle’s previous relationships including his own. however one major way he underestimates eve — even villanelle to a point — is that what he’s describing of villanelle is actually something we see eve do(ne) or head towards in following events in the episode. they are far more similar than he knows; konstantin is simultaneously describing eve’s path in so many terms and a great deal of what we see further in is how eve and villanelle’s parallel paths are truly starting to overlap and cross in so many ways even beyond the near physical missed connections.

not to mention the key information konstantin hasn’t been privy too yet and that is eve stabbing villanelle. so much is about context and here sit these two people, the ones who care about villanelle the most, an mi6 agent and a former handler.... but the roles are far murkier than first appearances. konstantin deeply cares for villanelle, i have no doubt, but he’s ultimately fine with using villanelle for professional gain while supposedly abandoning his family (for now). on the other side of the pond we see eve systematically abusing and destroying those same professional avenues in the name of personal gain. it isn’t something konstantin sees and even eve completely recognizes. at least this point in time.

oh this line. THIS LINEEEE. what i love about it is that eve is saying it to dismiss konstantin and also unconsciously ends up singling herself out as a main differential to everyone else he references. no, eve hasn’t given up on villanelle and the extent to which i still don’t think we’ve really seen which is both frightening and arousing lol in all the ways that make sense and the ways they shouldn’t. 2x03 cements their mutual refusal to give up on each other — they’re obsessively, destructively relentless.

these previous relationships are complicated but for the sake of this post what’s interesting about anna from the perspective of villanelle, even though the full extent of their dynamics is still somewhat of an enigma, anna gave up on her. with nadia she really didn’t measure up to the game which transitions nicely to konstantin who understood it and both he and villanelle ultimately prioritize self-preservation. pour one out for the She’ll Love You To Death(TM) squad.

i still believe at the end of the day villanelle wouldn’t completely put eve before herself, BUT BUT.... we see villanelle risk a whole lot more for eve than we’ve seen before. not just her job but even her own life, more so than when she was in the good graces of the twelve. i believe villanelle knew how precarious her situation was as soon as she saw that VOHLVOH and of course when raymond strangled her, even before konstantin spelled it out for her in no uncertain terms about raymond’s particular role in putting out assassins to pasture. however similar to eve, villanelle was comfortable in living in a semi-denial state and sticking with the twelve.

just like eve playing happy homemaker and cooking niko what looked like ground up finding nemo, i’m sure there’s a level of comfort and stability in staying with villanelle in staying with the twelve and what she knows and what she thinks she’s always done best. i wrote some things here examining villanelle’s idea of freedom and control which ties into that idea. the past few days for villanelle have been upturning, to say the least, and in addition to being jealous of eve’s potential wandering eye towards the the ghost, it’s also the slightest hint that someone might be better than her at what’s given her a life’s purpose.

it really is about “making space” for themselves and how those spaces are inextricably carved in each other for the other — if we talk about the apple as a symbol as temptation we can also think of it as one of knowledge. of possibility, of autonomy, of an existence beyond what is comfortable and safe in all its messy glory. funny how the hungry caterpillar starts its process with the apple cronch cronch. we see eve and villanelle completely push their boundaries to get closer to one another, much farther than before.

eve knowingly risks her relationship with carolyn, extorts one of the most important key witnesses mi6 might’ve had in konstantin, not to mention compromising his family by giving him their location. and kenny! my twink kid “i thought you were different.” going back to the beginning and konstantin’s line “you still have something worth having, don’t let her take it” one can’t help but start to see the similarities in eve’s relationships — a means to an end. and niko? an immediate, pleasant enough, boring distraction. sound familiar to a s1 distraction? *cue national anthem*

villanelle making those calls to the school to presumably have niko fired or arrested, giving gemma tips on getting niko’s attention, disguising herself to integrate herself further into eve’s personal world — this is villanelle’s love language. the manipulation, which is a form of her hatred of niko, is manageable and something she excels at. no doubt she believes she’s doing eve a favor, much like bill “he was slowing you down” pargrave and anna’s husband. when mi6 comes storming into the hotel and villanelle sees eve she knows that they can continue to play this game if she joined up with konstantin. that laugh behind the hotel door? villanelle re-invigorated and downright horny. she realizes there really is no viable option for her to continue this dance with eve in staying with the twelve which shows how “burrowed in” eve is with villanelle and vice versa.

this is also why this self-realization eve has with kenny is so so so so incredible and important after villanelle and konstantin escape. she’s absolutely run out of professional excuses, there’s nothing left but the extremely personal. this is why the fact that eve and villanelle will have to come to terms with this obsession when they work together under professional guises to find the ghost is hilarious and that shit’s gonna be so tasty.... what will they bring out of one another when the outside playbook has been shifted? GOD i can’t wait.

i mean really it’s all about the potential, right? the inhale / exhale / nursing dual wounds synchronization a sign of their romantic-sexual-intellectual connection but also of respective epiphanies about their true motivations and inherent prospect the other represents — they’re actively fighting against the world, burning bridges and salting the earth for one another and that is something that no one expected. will eve get eaten up by villanelle? will villanelle be eaten up by eve? or maybe.......? i’d like to think the possibilities between these two are endless.

#IT'S A LOVE STORY PPL #hope this is coherent i wrote it in a fever dream lol #was going to do gifs for the entire post but bish is lazy #killing eve #killing eve analysis #villanelle #eve polastri #konstantin #long post

395 notes · View notes

lachalaine · 5 years ago

Text

Name / Alias: lady j Are you over 18? Yes / No. Is your muse(s) over 18? Yes / No.

When was your blog established? 2015

– W R I T I N G –

Are you selective about who you write with? No (anyone) / Semi (most people) / Yes (some people) / Highly (few people) / Private (mutuals only).

i’m terribly, terribly picky, and i honestly scrutinize every single blog that i feel even an ounce of interest for. even if i like the writing and the mun seems really lovely, if there’s something small that actively throws me off, i tend not to follow them for my own piece of mind. i’ve tried going against the feeling before and it’s always screwed with my head and dash a lot, so i’ve decided i’d rather have a somewhat slow dash with mutuals i’m comfortable with, then force myself to have one that feels honestly painful to be on.

Are you selective about who you follow? No (anyone) / Semi (most people) / Yes (some people) / Highly (few people).

If your muse is canon, how much do you adhere to canon? Not at all / A little / Some / Mostly / Strictly / Not Applicable.

What post lengths do you write? One-Liners / Single-Para / Multi-Para / Novella / All of the aforementioned.

Do you use icons and/or GIFS? No / Gifs / Icons / Yes / Sometimes.

Do you write on other platforms? No / Yes.

What level of plots do you write? Unplotted / Open-Ended Plots / Semi-Plotted / Fully Plotted Epics / All of the aforementioned.

How quickly do you usually respond to threads? Very Slow (more than a month) / Slow (3-4 weeks) / Average (1-2 weeks) / Fast (less than one week) / Very Fast (less than three days) / It depends.

i’ve disappeared a lot from this blog over the past 5 years, and so most of my threads have disappeared with me; only ever coming to reappear when i get my ass back on here. irl responsibilities usually have me by the throat, so i have threads still from 5 months ago, and asks from a year and a half ago. my rp partners have come to expect the delays i think, as unfortunate as it is OTL as slow as i can be tho, i at least try to still keep them engaging enough to make it worth to continue, if ever they’d be up for it. otherwise, they can totally drop it and no hard feelings, we just pick up something else down the road x

What types of themes do you like? Adventure / Romance / Fluff / Angst / Smut / Violence / Tragedy / Domestic / Family.

WHAT GENRES DO YOU LIKE? ( Feel free to add! ) High Fantasy / Supernatural / Science Fiction / Historical / Horror / Comedy / Romantic / Drama / Action / Adventure / Espionage / All of the aforementioned.

Are there any themes you’re uncomfortable writing on your blog? (Not triggers) No / Yes / Sometimes.

Do you have any triggers? How do you request it tagged?

overly excessive horror and gore, visual body mutilation and necrophilia, rape, worms, snails, anything remotely caterpillar like?? i have my tags set up so that i know which posts to block when they cross my dash, but i don’t really block the gore // and blood // tag necessarily because i use it sometimes in my own writing, so it’s sort of a case to case basis. i’m not triggered enough to lose my cool, but just a word in place to filter it if you know it’ll be iffy would be peachy 🌸

– S H I P P I N G –

What types of relationships are you open to? Romantic / Platonic / Familial / All of the aforementioned.

What types of pre-established relationships are you open to? Romantic / Platonic / Familial / All of the aforementioned.

Do you have OTPs? No / Chemistry Only / Yes.

Do you have NOTPS? No / Yes.

What is your muse’s sexual orientation? Heterosexual / Heteroflexible / Bisexual / Pansexual / Homoflexible / Homosexual / Demisexual / Sapiosexual / ( Grey ) Asexual / Still trying to figure it out.

What is your muse’s romantic orientation? Heteroromantic / Heteroflexible / Biromantic / Homoflexible / Homoromantic / Panromantic / Demiromantic / Sapioromantic / Aromantic / Still trying to figure it out.

Are you comfortable writing smut? No / Selectively / Yes.

How early in a relationship do you ship romantically? Autoship / During plotting / After a couple IC interactions / Several IC interactions / Slow burn / Plot dependent / Never.

Are you open to toxic ships?

No / Selectively / Yes / I am not sure.

Are you open to problematic ships? No / Selectively / Yes / I am not sure.

Are you open to polyshipping? No / Selectively / Yes / I am not sure.

Are you an exclusive shipper? Never / Sometimes / Yes / Selective

Does crack shipping ever happen?

Nope / Yes

tagged by: @astrumstilla thank u lulu !! ✨✨ tagging: @aquoreus @killrate @wintresia @vasutia and other people on the dash, ty

#&& did you think i wasn't real (about j)#&& pre recorded tracks (queue)

3 notes · View notes

stomach-rental · 6 years ago

Text

BIRDS + BUGS AU HISTORY OUTLINE THAT GOT TOO LONG, I GUESS

@fairlyqualityanon

Why of COURSE I will tell you about nap times!

So, first of all, some background. The birds and bugs au, or the mutualism au, takes place in a time where humans have died out. They ended up killing off too much of the earth, not giving it enough time to grow back and ripping it of it's resources. The other sentient species of this planet were Tyto, a bird/human hybrid species with a Fun big dino form, and an incredibly small bug/human hybrid species that were simply knowns as bugs. The tyto and the bugs were starving, and as they struggled to deal with the complete tip in food supply, they knew something had to be done. Both birds and bugs banded together, fighting back the humans, destroying their resources and leaving only a few straggling remainders that died out on the island, protecting their land from anymore colonists from the outside world that were still left from the destruction they wrought.

So, the humans are gone, leaving an unbalanced ecosystem, the tyto, and the bugs. At first, they kept up their peace treaty, providing for one another as needed, stepping in to protect those who needed it...but food ran shorter and shorter. Bugs found a solution-- there were strange, floating islands, high above where most tyto could fly, which carried glowing rocks. When touched, the bugs were able to use powers to produce and guide plants, the earth, the water. It was a temporary solution for them, and they rejoiced at this find, distributing the rocks to bugs across the land and helping them learn the powers of deep, strange magic.

The tyto, however, did not have such a find. The tyto grew greedy, desperate, unable to grow food like the bugs had learned to do. Some prayed to gods, others tried to make up for it by learning, but it wasn't enough. They began to do the same thing that the humans had, and when that wasn't enough, they turned to taking from the bugs. The bugs had claimed they found a land where there was plentiful food, where they could produce their own resources-- where was this so called land? Why had only the bugs found it? Where was it for THEM? Some tytos began to take matters into their own claws, convincing the other tytos in the tribes that the bugs were stealing from THEIR land and THEIR food, and that they were nothing but pests that refused to stop mooching off of them! The bugs were no happier. They were convinced that the tyto were using them only for their gain, and prosperity would only come if they went out on their own where they could control the situation. Small bands of tyto broke off, and they would hunt down packs of bugs that were trying to migrate to the new lands. At first, it was only to steal supplies. But somehow, originally by accident, the tyto began to realize that the bugs satisfied a much, much deeper pleasure within them when they ate the bugs themselves instead of just the supplies they carried.

ALRIGHT I’m gonna post the rest under a read more because this is getting long lmao

THAT could not happen! Nope! That was really really bad! So the bugs retreated, vowing that they would NEVER trust the tyto again until they learned the error of their ways. They took everyone possible to the islands, too high for the tyto to reach or find with the fog surrounding the land. There they built societies within the rocks, finding new ways to use magic and binding themselves together into groups. However, they had to return to the surface of the land so that they would be able to get the nutrients needed to grow their food in the skies, creating tension and fear as they tried to grapple with avoiding the "monsters" that were the tyto still roaming beneath.

The tyto, for a time, were still merciless. They grew so feral with hunger that, through generations, the ability to speak our form a coherent language was long forgotten. They consumed everything in their path, desperately hungry for something that only bugs could satisfy, and trying to quench the large metabolisms they needed to survive. Many tyto died of starvation, and the few that were left decided that things needed to change. They formed groups, separating to the far ends of the islands, and learned to have patience. Their deep feral desires for food had to be ignored, through meditation and through fasting, so that they would learn to be satisfied with the little that they had. These practices slowly allowed the land to recover, animals returning as their populations were replenished and left alone, giving the birds the chance to eat only what was necessary. For a time, they had now learned to quench the burning embers within them, to silence them and leave it to rest.

When bugs and tyto met, it rarely went well. Bugs were the one thing to reignite that fire, and so bugs had to quickly learn to avoid the tribes of tyto, or be eaten. For the tyto, the bugs were no more than pests, potential creatures without thought or feeling that wanted to take what little food they had. For the bugs, the tyto were fearsome, greedy monsters of the land and waters below without thought or feeling, who only wanted to quell their desires through consumption.

500 years passed of this. Birds and Bugs no longer knew one another for who they were, only as predator and as prey, and the dangers of the other group were easily made known. It was stagnant, afraid, even with the tyto population slowly making a comeback.

Tyto, over time, had lost their ability to properly communicate, through the long periods of silent meditation that had been taught to help them survive. It was thought that this ability must be long gone, never to be found again except through gestures and vague displays. Instead, they discovered a far more curious magic-- an ability to share thoughts, touching one another's souls. It was hidden deep within them, and through practice, each tyto learned that they could finally share their thoughts and ideas as their own, starting a Wave of new experimental lines of belief. Including ONE belief system that has slowly taken over, where Bugs could be considered the Ultimate Source of food and power, with the ability to grant some sort of hidden prosperity when consumed.

The bugs, on the other hand, were oblivious to this. they had seperated into groups. the beetles, dragonflies, and similar species formed a clan called Kehpers that specialized in healing magic and growing food sources. the bees, wasps, and ants became known as the hiveborn, working in groups to keep things organized and build the structures around to keep the islands intact. and then the Lepidopa, later on known as the Outsiders, were made up of the moths and caterpillars who made their way to the surface to gather much needed supplies and bring word of the lands below. the bugs were ruled by the stability of the hiveborn, who ruled with an iron fist in an attempt to control the problems that had once plagued them, keeping true to their promise to never trust those below at any means or cost necessary.

The bugs and the birds lived very different lives, separate but interconnected by dependencies that they didn’t even understand. one lived on the land of the great expanse, the colder regions of the islands above that were safe from harm but desperately needed the resources below, and the other lived in the land of Belous, the large island below that yearned for a new kind of energy it did not possess. Each thought that they had exactly what they needed in their world, that they had LEARNED the way of their lives and that they needed not to understand anything beyond that.

But they were wrong.

There were other ways to get the life energy, the magic, the wholeness that both craved so much. This is where our story begins, where the lines of one species meets another after generations of separation, and how understanding and trust begin to mend the bonds of both the land itself and the species that relied on it.

THAT is the background to naptimes. uhhh. this post is super long, so, I May type a different post about naptimes themselves and like the actual vore part behind all of this, as well as the characters and story that begins to develop! but! this AU is actually built with two of my close friends, both of which have a huge part in the making and lore. we all BIG LOVE this stuff we’ve made through borrowed ideas and thoughts, but, I Do Not Know if we plan to actually make content content for this yet so I’m not sure what I Should be allowed to post and what I should not be allowed to post. just...know that it is a TRIP.

#birds and bugs au #mutualism au #I should add references to this later tbh #I am So Sorry this got long and I didn't even get to the actual story OR the nap times asjdhaskjdh #I just Had To Talk about it #I will post about the actual nap times tomorrow if I do not have homework #but Feel Free to ask questions until then #long post

17 notes · View notes

randomscenariosandwritings · 6 years ago

Text

Icarus and the Sea

~Icarus and the Sea~NCT!Soulmate Au Part 3: Final Part

Parts out: Part 1// Part 1.5// Thanksgiving Special// Part 2// Part 2.5// Part 3 (You are here, congratulations you made it!!)

A/N so here we are last part of the series. Sorry it took so long finals were hell and I had zero motivation, but luckily my slump did not last for a whole year or two this time! Please comment and talk to me!! It really helps keep me motivated to know people actually read this crap and like it. I’m more likely to write if you talk to me in comments or asks. Plus, I may just have zero ideas sometimes and you requesting something could be the only way I’ll write for a while. So if you want imagines and crap then talk to me. I know this sounds like I’m just being a jerk but it’s not fun to write things that no one will read...or write things and feel like no one’s reading them. Anyways part 3 the final part!!

Description: He was the sun and she was the moon and they were soulmates. Which was both a blessing and a curse. She needed his light and warmth and he needed her to reflect it back to him, but they were ever so distant, both unable to truly reach each other. He reached out for her every way he could, but only in his darkest moments could she ever be found.

Genre: Fluff, this one is pretty much entirely fluff

Warnings: Cursing minor but like it’s there, mentions of suicide again, but I think that’s it unless you have something against coffee or sunflowers or something

Word count: 8054 words

(Y/c/N) means your choice of names I was too lazy to give Taeil’s sister an actual name so you get this instead

Also I tried to put in a read more button tag thing but if it didn’t work I’m not gonna try and fix it because I’ve tried before and it’s never worked and I’m lazy af.

(Not my gif again!!! Do I need to keep telling you this??)

Despite everything that had happened that night nothing changed the next day, nothing changed for a while...

When she woke up again, after he got her to go back to sleep, she had two messages one on her skin from him and the other a text from Chenle. The message on her arm was written in red ink and read "Hey, cinnamon, just gonna be totally honest with you, because all the best relationships are built on trust and communication, I know Chenle and I heard your thoughts about him the other night and I may have told him that he knew you and he totally figured it out, no I didn't ask him to help me meet you or anything because I know you're not quite ready for that but if you ever did want to meet up or get my number Chenle has it, or you can ask me yourself, I'll wait for you as long as I need to," She smiled at his thoughtfulness and his honesty before checking the text from Chenle though she now had an idea of what it may be about.

After reading through the text and talking with Chenle a bit she responded to her soulmate with ink on her arm and then went out to find Taeyong, today they needed each other. "Tae," She said as she lightly knocked on his door. "Yeah?" He responded from inside his room in a soft broken voice and she sighed knowing whatever sleep he had gotten had been sparse and unfulfilling. He'd likely spent most of the night crying and she knew exactly what it was about, or at least she thought she did. Then again he had thought he'd understood the issue before last night as well. "Can I come in?" She asked softly leaning against the door with her shoulder. She wasn't about to just barge in no matter how much she knew he needed someone. She still had to respect his privacy and choices no matter how much she may want to just go in and sit with him. "Yeah, it's unlocked," he responded causing her to sigh in relief before pushing open the door. She found him sitting on the floor beside his bed staring sadly at the phone in his hand a few pictures scattered on the floor around him, sticky notes and cards thrown into the mix forming a semicircle of memories around him, but there was just enough room beside him for one more person. "I heard you crying last night, do you want to talk about it?" She asked softly as she sat beside him on the ground keeping her eyes on her dear older brother instead of the items on the ground although her curiosity was piqued. He picked a photo up off the ground and frowned at it before answering her. "Not really, not right now," He responded simply and she nodded in understanding and decided for now she'd just give him company and maybe a little bit of distraction. "So, it turns out my soulmate knows Chenle," She said starting to talk about her night instead, choosing to start with the happy before informing him of the panic attack she'd had last night. It would only stress him out if she didn't cushion the blow. "How'd you find that out," He asked and she showed him her arm and the red ink with the blue response below it. "What were you thinking of?" Taeyong asked gently curious as to what her soulmate meant when he said I heard your thoughts and how that had possibly led to the knowledge of having a mutual friend. "Well, I had a panic attack last night and woke him up on accident, we started talking and he told me he'd stop talking with me, stop writing to me if it was hurting me, I told him not to stop and started to think about how I just needed more people in my life who honestly love me and care, like you, Renjun, Jeno, and Chenle," She answered simply and he nodded well aware of his little sister's panic attacks. "I got a snapchat from my roommate," Taeyong answered suddenly opening up to her, now that she had shared he decided it was his turn. "He was asking me where I was and if I was coming back," Taeyong continued and set his phone down between the two of them. "Was she in it?" She questioned softly and he shook his head creating an immense confusion within her. He'd been upset about her, about losing her too his roommate, hadn't he? "Nope, I'm starting to think it might not be her I was upset about," Taeyong replied noticing her very obvious confusion, it was after all written all over her face, "I think I've been lying to myself about a lot of things for a long time," He added not able to look up at his younger sister or meet her eyes instead of looking at another photo and then another. "Honestly, it makes more sense the longer I think about it this way, the longer I look at these photos, notes, and cards, I always got way to upset when he had company over, he was the kind to sleep around while waiting/looking for his soulmate and I was always so upset about it, I hated seeing the black handprint on his arm. Don't get me wrong, I loved her but more like I grew to love things about her and grew to see her as a wonderful person and a dear friend but I didn't ever love her, I think I was just dating her because I knew he wasn't my soulmate and I loved him anyway and now that he's found her...I don't think I can ever go back to that room. My life has effectively turned into that one MV you know for the K.Will song, please don't I think," Taeyong continued sadly and she nodded, "But I can't keep staying in this house, not with auntie getting drunk every day and cursing everyone and everything. There's a reason I moved out in the first place..." "What if you and I moved out, we could leave today, move in with Jeno or Chenle for a bit until we found a new place to stay?" She suggested suddenly thinking back to her thoughts the other night about her aunt and the endless desire for at least a little more normalcy. She needed out of this house as much as her brother did, maybe even more. This house was weighing down on them both in more ways than one. She didn't think she'd ever be willing to meet her soulmate if she stayed in this house... "You should probably ask Jeno or Chenle if they're ok with that first," Taeyong replied, "but otherwise, I'm down with that idea." "I think it might help me feel more comfortable about having a soulmate too, without hearing her cursing hers every 20 seconds," She added after a moment of silence between them, "I really do want to meet him, I'm just not ready yet and this will help." "You love him don't you?" Taeyong asked smiling gently at the young girl, it was refreshing to see her opening up a bit more, it was like watching a caterpillar crawl from its cocoon and become this beautiful butterfly. "No, not yet, I'm still too scared to love him, I don't think I can love him like really love him until he's no longer the sun in my eyes, cause if I keep believing he's the sun, I'll always be too afraid to burn," She replied looking up at the morning sun shining over them. "I agree, I think you need to stop putting him on the same level as the sun, but not because of that, I don't think you need to be afraid to burn, our whole family is and so they won't ever love again, I think they and the world would tell you that failure is ugly and painful that loss and falling and burning are horrid and despicable things, but I think they're wrong, I think there's something almost triumphant in falling instead of flying knowing you had the courage when everyone screamed no and there's something beautiful about fire even when you're in the middle of it," Taeyong replied shaking his head, he'd never told her this but he'd always believed it, it was why he wanted her to love, why he wanted to love, because he knew now even with how his heart ached at his handsome roommate who had met his soulmate in a beautiful girl. Even with how tears slipped down his cheeks at the sight of his pouting face asking him when he'd come back the black mark on his arm now a rainbow of color against his pale skin. "You're right though, he's not the sun, because from what I know he would never burn you, never be so distant and harsh, but don't be afraid to love him even if he was," Taeyong concluded finally looking her in the eyes. If anyone was the sun it was his roommate, or ex-roommate now. She nodded in understanding she knew if he really was the sun and she was the one flying towards him there was more beauty about that than just the sun and more than just the tragedy of falling and even that wasn't always a tragedy if you looked at it just right. She knew he was right that she should just give love a chance because even if she did fall and burn and tumbled from the heavens as an ungraceful ball of fire at least she flew at least she had the courage to leap and she'll leave her mark on the boy, literally, she won't ever be forgotten, maybe she'll be able to smile as she falls or laugh as she drowns in the oceans below. It was a lesson her soulmate had always been trying to teach her with the endless drawings on her skin that there is beauty in everything even intense pain. "Well that was a great heart to heart, but I'm hungry and it's your turn to make breakfast," She said pulling him up with her gently and thinking of the game of Uno she'd won last night before she'd gone to sleep and before the panic and before she told him she'd buy him coffee. A smile drew itself on her face at the thought of Uno and the words she'd written. It was the closest she'd gotten to telling him she loved him until the reply she wrote on her arm this morning. Unbeknownst to her, he would argue that both of those had said I love you, even if they didn't use the words.

He had a heart attack when he read the words she'd written him in blue ink. He fell off the couch he was lounging on and squealed and flailed around after reading the words because oh god his soulmate was just so adorable and oh my god look what she wrote. His heart was pounding in excitement and his cheeks were heating up with a blush at how adorable and sweet his soulmate really was. Taeil came rushing from the kitchen in panic at the noises and his sister ran in with Chenle close on her heels having just opened the door to let him in when the commotion had begun. "Are you ok?" Taeil questioned but as soon as he saw the young man rolling on the floor in absolute delight utterly overwhelmed by how cute his soulmate is Taeil sighed left the room and returned to cooking breakfast for the now five of them. "Was it her? What did she write?" Chenle asked excitedly he'd been secretly shipping these two for years now, despite the fact they'd never met, and he was so thrilled by any news of his 2nd otp which followed closely behind his true otp, him and his soulmate. Chenle watched in anticipation as his older friend sat up and smiled at him with the dorkiest grin he'd ever seen. "She's so cute," His older friend muttered softly a rosy tint on his cheeks and his eyes alight with joy. "She wrote, 'Hey sugar, thanks for your honesty, Chenle informed me of this interesting situation, thank you for being so understanding, I'll try not to make you wait too long,' and then there's a winky face, she called me sugar I'm dead, I'm so dead, funeral is at 3 o'clock," His older friend said with this wacky smile spread out on his face. "You two are such cheesy dorks," Taeil's sister said shaking her head as she chuckled softly sitting on a nearby armchair and smiling softly. "Has she been texting you then?" He asked looking up intently at Chenle who nodded and showed him the texts from earlier this morning. "Aww, she wanted to know if I was cute, she's adorable, wait what do you mean number four I am so cute!" He said as he read along with the texts looking up at Chenle perplexed and momentarily distracted. "Yeah, but my soulmate is the cutest, I'm the second cutest, and Jisung is the third cutest, Jeno would have had four but he's not funny so I knocked him down a peg," Chenle responded with a shrug and his soulmate blushed slightly at his words though she pretended she wasn't listening by scrolling through her phone looking at photos of her and Chenle. "Where's my soulmate on that list?" He asked looking up at the younger boy slightly offended because his soulmate was adorable and he had evidence. "Not on it, cause it'd be weird she's like an older sister to me," Chenle responded shaking his head at the older boy who was now crouched on the ground holding the phone like Gollum holding the ring, "A really dorky older sister who has like 5% of her life together on a good day," Chenle added thinking about the older girl who was quite a wreck, but still very kind. "Breakfast is ready," Taeil called from the kitchen and so they quickly went over and joined him in the kitchen. A while later they were gathered in the living room watching movies together when Chenle let out a soft, "Oh my god, what?" as he stared down at his phone. His soulmate leaned over and read the texts from his shoulder before letting out a little gasp and a slight smirk too. "Boy, you might actually have a really good chance of getting to meet her," Chenle said looking over towards the other non-moon sibling in the room. "Wait, what? What's happening?" He said his head shooting up from staring at his arm and the message from earlier excited by the potential news about his lovely soulmate. "She's moving out of her aunt's house," Chenle responded calmly a little too calmly for his liking, but he said nothing of the issue. "Really?" He asked in shock remembering back to the panic attack just last night and the conversation they'd had. "Yeah, she and Taeyong are gonna live with Jeno for a bit until they find a place," Chenle replied still calm and invested in the conversation on his phone. "This is good news for you though cause Taeyong will encourage her to meet you and the absence of her aunt will let her fall in love with you easier," Chenle explained slightly. He just nodded and grabbed a pen and began writing on his arm in black ink. "Hey, cinnamon, I heard you're moving out of your aunt's house, are you going to be ok what with the panic attacks and all?" He wrote trying not to let his complete worry for her seep through too much. "Yeah, Taeyong and I need out, our aunts a mess and totally brings us down, don't worry though, sugar, I'll be fine even with the panic attacks since I won't be surrounded by strangers and Taeyong will be there," She wrote back in black ink of her own. "How do you know all the boys, Chenle, Jeno, Renjun, and Taeyong?" He wrote again in response, he was extremely curious. "Right I forgot I'd never told you, Taeyong's my older brother the only sibling still around after my two older ones, Jinki and Soonkyu, left, I tutor Chenle since he came from China he still occasionally struggles with class here, I met Renjun and Jeno in class we all went to the same high school, I met Jeno first Freshman year and Renjun when he transferred in during sophomore year, then we decided to attend University here together and I met Chenle and Jisung, I'm not very close to Jisung though cause I only met him through Chenle," She wrote in response, her handwriting showing up neatly on his skin. "I'm glad you have all of them to watch over you and love you while I can't," He wrote gently a soft smile on his face. He was truly grateful, she was extremely important to him even if they'd never met.

She couldn't help but smile when he told her he was glad she had the boys in her life and they spent the rest of the night covering their skin in messages to each other and when they ran out of room on their skin they started to talk to each other through their minds and that was how they spent the rest of their day and into the night. A few days later she and Taeyong moved in with Jeno. Chenle and his soulmate, Renjun, and Jisung joined in to help them move. This was the first time she'd met Chenle's soulmate. "Hi, I'm Moon (Y/c/N)," Chenle's soulmate said as she approached with the boys. She extended her hand with a smile and then continued, "You must be Y/n and Taeyong, or as my neighbor likes to call you, Cinnamon and her brother." "Oh my god, my soulmate is your neighbor?" She, the youngest Lee sibling, questioned in shock. Chenle's soulmate smiled in response. "Yeah, he's good friends with my older brother and was actually hanging out at our house when Chenle came over to pick me up. Chenle tried to drag him here, but your soulmate wouldn't let him cause he wanted to make sure you were ready first," The young Moon girl said smiling at the memory of Chenle trying to physically drag the other male out of the house and said other male just sitting on the ground with a stubborn look on his face. "God, this jerk makes me fall in love with him more every day," Spoke the female Lee with a soft smile on her face, the young Moon girl only smiled softly in return. Happy for the two who she had officially deemed perfect for each other in just those few seconds. After that, the moving process began and the two girls became fast friends. Once they were officially moved in they had a mini welcoming party in which those already there laid about in the living room drinking sodas, eating snacks, and chatting happily or in Taeyong's case napping on the floor. "My neighbor told me you're amazing and successfully moved into Jeno's apartment, I already knew you're amazing but I'm glad your moved in, stay safe and happy, I love you," Was the last thing she saw in pink on her arm before she fell asleep that night in her new room. A few weeks later the Lee siblings moved once more, but with a lot more stuff to carefully box and move across the city, this time into a flat that was entirely their own and much closer to the University they attended and coincidentally her soulmates house, though that wasn't known until much later. There was a farewell party and her soulmate was once again invited, but only by Chenle who was desperate for the two to meet. He didn't come, once again respecting her wishes. The Lee siblings smiled and laughed, but were both sad to leave Jeno's flat behind, even in that short time it had become a home, full of laughter and games, gone were the two-way battles for kitchen duty now replaced by much louder three-way games and Jeno was quickly adopted into the family by Taeyong, she had always loved him like a twin brother. Instead of late night talks about where their elder siblings were, hearing their aunt scream about the pains of love, or trying hard to stay awake so they wouldn't see the image of a beautiful but broken woman falling backward off a roof, they laughed and chatted late into the night about anything and everything and sometimes nothing understandable or coherent all of them too tired to truly understand, but nonetheless happier than they'd ever been. For once the two siblings were truly happy. So happy in fact that they debated never leaving Jeno's flat but Jeno had shaken his head while taking a sip of root beer as they laid on the couch all bundled up together, toy story playing in the background and said they needed to find a better place more suited to them, closer to a cafe for the caffeine addict Taeyong and the ever increasingly aesthetic girl who loved the atmosphere, with a different layout and style both inside and out he could tell the plain white walls in every room were driving them insane, and a place they could truly call their own, they'd never truly had somewhere they could do that and he knew they needed it. Nonetheless, they surprised him the night of the farewell party and told him they had another room they wanted him to have, he was after all their brother and no home would be complete without the whole family. The family they had created for themselves. With that two became three and a plain flat turned into a home for a trio that loved each other dearly. For the first few weeks, the flat was changing every day new decorations here and there, decorations moved or gone altogether but it wasn't the only thing changing every day. The only female in their trio, their beloved sister was changing with it. She was becoming happier and more hopeful, she wrote to her soulmate daily and if she didn't write to him she spoke to him in her mind, some days she even initiated the conversations, though he almost always beat her to it. Each and every day they watched her become more herself and more in tune with who she was, she changed her major from math to art history, the clothes she bought herself changed too as she fell into her own style. Day by day she just became more herself, no change she made ever confused her two brothers, if anything they recognized her more with each change, and whenever they saw her these days there was a silent resounding 'ah yes, here is my sister, beautiful as always, there she is' that echoed in their heads and heart. She was now almost exactly who she was meant to be, they all knew there was still one piece missing, one piece that drew on his arms and asked her questions long into the night, that shared odd stories and little delights. Day by day she became more and more ready to meet him and they all knew it. However, it was still months before the pair finally met. When they did meet it was at the youngest Moon sibling's birthday party, both of them friends with the young girl. She, the female Lee, had known for a while now that she was finally ready to meet her soulmate and knew this party would be the perfect opportunity. Even so, she didn't tell Chenle that she was coming, only the young Moon girl, Taeyong, Jeno, and herself knew she would be attending the party. The four of them had kept it a careful secret though Taeyong didn't have much to worry about as he only interacted with Chenle occasionally and had never met Taeil. No, the meeting of the two eldest siblings was a day that would go down in history and certainly not this day. When the day of the party finally came she was a nervous wreck, the three Lee's had spent almost the entire day trying to choose an outfit for her and had only decided 20 minutes before Taeil and his sister were scheduled to arrive to pick her and Jeno up for the party. "God, I think I'm more nervous for you than you are," Taeyong muttered softly as he continued working on her hair, fixing it because everything had to be perfect for his baby sister. "I feel like I'm getting my daughter ready for prom..." he added as he put the last touch on her hair finally happy with it. "Believe me Tae I am just as nervous if not more, he's my soulmate remember," She replied while Jeno just smiled in the background, he loved this dorky family of nervous wrecks, who as Chenle often reminded all of them only had 5% of their lives together on a good day, but today was a great day, so they had 10% or maybe 3%, they couldn't quite figure it out. "Her being nervous is the entire reason I'm going, Taeyong, pretty sure she's more nervous," Jeno added laughing at his adoptive siblings and going back to texting Renjun about how this was going to turn into him standing in the corner alone because he knew no one but people with soulmates and would likely be fifth wheeling the entire time. Though he did remind Renjun that he was ultimately ok with it cause this was his sister's big day and if he was anything he was a supportive brother. "Yeah, you're right, you're right," Taeyong said before spinning her around to make sure everything was perfect. "You know what you always look wonderful, I don't know why I'm so worried," Taeyong said shrugging and letting go of her. "She'll be just fine, Taeyong and if she's not I'll call Renjun and he can beat the jerk up," Jeno said way too nonchalantly, not telling them that Renjun had already offered should anything go wrong. "Perfect," Taeyong said right as a knock sounded on their door. "That's your sign, go get him, girl," Taeyong said shoving her towards the door before dragging Jeno over as well. Soon the youngest Lee's were out the door and in a car where they found a very confused Chenle and Taeil. "Who is this girl I thought we were picking up Jeno and Jeno only?" Taeil asked while Chenle's face slowly morphed into an evil grin fit for a mad scientist. "I'm Y/N, your neighbor's soulmate," She said with a smile introducing herself to the oldest Moon. "Oh my god, really?" Taeil asked and she nodded with a wide smile. "Wow, okay this is shocking." "I can't wait to introduce you two!" Chenle said happily rubbing his hands together in excitement. "Ah ah ah! Not so fast! You are doing no such thing, we already have a plan," Y/N said shaking her head at the young boy. "What kind of plan?" Chenle asked quirking an eyebrow up in curiosity. Y/n and his soulmate quickly explained the plan to a now increasingly offended Chenle. "That's a dumb plan," Chenle said with a shake of his head. "How do you know he's not already sitting in the living room of their house or that he won't show up earlier, the boy practically lives with them," Chenle continued groaning at their lack of planning little did he know they actually had all that sorted. "See that would be an issue if, I hadn't told him the wrong party time so his early will actually be on time, and if that wasn't enough I purposely forgot to buy drinks and snacks so that I could blindside Taeil so that he would ask our friendly neighbor to go with another friend to buy snacks and drinks," Spoke Chenle's soulmate with a smirk on her face. "That's actually pretty clever," Chenle muttered in response before smiling at his soulmate. "I knew you wouldn't have actually forgotten to buy the drinks and snacks!" Taeil said proudly, suddenly validated by this explanation. "You have to swear you won't introduce us though, ok Chenle?" Y/N said making the younger boy pinky promise with her that he wouldn't force them together. All the while him grumbling. Her soulmate did indeed show up late just as planned, she didn't even see him walk in even though his arrival was loudly proclaimed by several friends within the crowd when he showed up with the missing snacks and sodas. After all, she still didn't know his name, so other than being slightly confused it meant nothing to her when shouts of "Donghyuck! Jaemin! Haechan!" rang throughout the home, especially when there were only two people walking in. She shrugged it off and continued walking through the party. She didn't know he was there until she saw him out of the corner of her eye, or more accurately she saw the massive sunflower on his forearm as she walked out of the kitchen. The very tip of the flower was covered by his rolled-up sleeves but it was unmistakably the same as the one on her own forearm, carefully hidden by her long sleeve shirt. She searched the crowd for him, her eyes gazing over everyone until she spotted him again and her heart leaped into her throat, he was gorgeous and with that thought and her eyes grazing over his appearance fear crept into her heart, what if she wasn't really ready to meet him. She started to walk quickly towards the front door her head hanging down as she texted Chenle informing him she was leaving for some fresh air, right after she sent it she ran straight into someone nearly knocking them both over. "Sorry," She muttered softly not bothering to look up and then skirted around the mystery person and out the door. She only made it a few feet down the street before an arm grabbed her wrist and a familiar voice asked her gently to stop and as she turned back the first thing she noticed was the sunflower on his very exposed arm. He had been very upset that Taeil had asked him to run this last minute errand, he hated being late to his friend's party, but he'd been asked so he did. They'd called his name once he entered but all he'd really registered was the beautiful and unfamiliar girl in the back corner talking happily with Chenle, the birthday girl, and someone else he didn't know. He wondered for a moment if it could be her, his soulmate, but he shook his head and told him not to get his hopes up, besides Chenle would've been introducing them as fast as possible if it was. Either way that mysterious girl lingered in his mind throughout the rest of the party, especially because she just kept popping up, he just kept seeing her. His heart had stopped when he'd heard her voice, quiet amidst the crowd but no less recognizable as the voice that had stayed up with him until 3 am talking about their hopes and dreams, the same voice that had told him about how they'd changed their major and then gushed about art history and art for the next hour, the voice he had said I love you to so many times. He'd heard it the soft word, "sorry" from nearby when the mystery girl ran into Taeil as she headed towards the front door. He was frozen staring at the back of her head for a good minute before finally bolting out of the house, causing quite the scene he was sure, but his soulmate was more important than whether or not he caused a scene or not, he'd apologize to Taeil and his sister later. He looked down the street carefully trying to gauge where she'd gone when he saw her in the distance and immediately started running to catch up. Luckily for him, she hadn't made it far and so it was quite easy to catch up to her and grasp her wrist whispering the quite words "Please, wait," his heart stopped again when she turned to look at him and her eyes latched onto the sunflower on his exposed wrist, he knew then he'd been right, she was his soulmate. "You're beautiful," suddenly tumbled out of his mouth surprising both of them back into reality, at least for a moment, before she was sucked back in by the original sunflower. "I really like sunflowers," She blurted out just as quickly, just as randomly a few moments later when she slipped back into the stupor of having her soulmate, her incredibly attractive soulmate, right in front of her holding her wrist, she was just as lost as he was. "You wrote..." she began and her eyes fell to look at the ink still on his skin, he realized he was still holding her wrist at that moment and let it go quickly afraid of hurting her afraid of forcing her to do anything she didn't want to. He was surprised when her hand moved and her fingers ran over the skin of his forearm painted yellow and brown and orange and green with golden writing around it, golden but tragic words "But I'm a sunflower, a little funny, If I was a rose, maybe you'd want me," she read softly tracing each letter delicately. "I like sunflowers, I like a little funny, a little funny is better than the pricking of thorns against your fingers," She said softly before meeting his gaze again. A familiar feeling of weightlessness filled his chest, the same one that had filled his chest when she'd told him she'd buy him coffee and called him sugar for the first time. This was the third time she'd told him she loved him and how it made him want to fly to hear her say the same three words in such a beautiful way, more beautiful than he would ever be able to say them. "Why'd you leave early?" He questioned softly still far too caught up in her beauty and being told she loved him. "I saw the sunflower on your arm and got scared, it's one thing to believe you're ready and entirely another to be faced with the sudden reality of everything you've ever been afraid of and everything you've ever hoped for," She answered truthfully, she'd never lie to him. At that moment as they stared at each other they both realized a few fundamental truths, one she was not an Icarus fated to burn and fall and drown from flying too close to the sun, two he was not the sun he was not harsh and unreachable and overwhelming, three she was not the moon. No, she was the stars in the sky, she had so many sides and levels and hidden depths, she was a universe waiting to be explored and understood and loved, she was beautiful and wondrous and so expansive he would never know all of her and he, oh god he was the sky the delicate and ever-changing sky who shifted and changed to suit her better, bright and blue when she wished to be hidden, dark and velvety and warm when she needed to be seen. He highlighted her and made her shine and held her close and protected her. He filled in the cracks was the lines between her constellations and as they realized this she knew there was nothing to fear from him. He would not leave her with only broken reminders and beer bottles and the desire to fall off of tall buildings or disappear, he couldn't, he was so deeply intertwined with everything about her that he was stuck. He was so in love with her, so wrapped up in every wondrous detail he had and hadn't seen yet that there was no possible way he'd ever leave her. He was so uniquely himself and yet so wonderfully part of her and she was so uniquely herself and yet so wonderfully part of him. "How about we go for a walk, I'll buy you that bouquet and you can buy me that coffee," He suggested as he realized just how much he truly loved her. The surprise and shock and awe melted into a soft warmth that filled his chest, a warmth he could only compare to that first sip of coffee in the morning. "How about we get you a jacket first, you must be freezing," She said with a gentle laugh and a worried expression as she stared down at his exposed and goosebump-covered arms, though he'd claim from then on that half of the goosebumps were just from her touching him and the other half were from seeing her for the first time. "Who needs a jacket I have you," He replied with a gentle smirk and she bumped him slightly with a shy smile. "Would you go get a jacket if I told you I was cold?" She questioned already very aware of how he worked and thought and ticked, you got that way when you talked with someone every day and every night even when you hadn't met them. "Mmm, anything for my lovely cinnamon," He answered and smiled at her, "Come on then, let's go get you a jacket," He said and then gently grabbed her hand, intertwining his fingers with hers without a second thought and dragging her along towards his house. He led her quietly through the house towards his room and sat her on the bed before shuffling through his closet to find a jacket. It wasn't long before he did and he walked back over to her with it. "Nope, you should wear it," She said shaking her head as he tried to hand it to her. "I'll get warm just by you wearing it," She said softly and he tilted his head to the side in confusion, "Sugar, we're connected through our skin," She said tapping her nose lightly giving him a subtle hint. He grinned and chuckled softly before sliding the jacket on around himself before leading her back through the house and towards the closest flower shop. All the while smiling softly at how clever and caring his dear soulmate was. He bought her the very bouquet he'd told her about earlier and then they walked to a cafe nearby and she bought him and herself some coffee. Then they sat together at a table by the window and talked. "Why'd you stop writing on your arm for those weeks?" She asked after taking a sip of her coffee. "My Dad left my mom when I was 10, she was never the same after and hated it when I drew on my arm, that night when it stopped I got caught with ink on my arms and she was very drunk," He answered softly with a gentle shrug. "Why'd you suggest a tramp stamp for the tattoo?" He questioned gently with a slight smirk and the coffee mug resting in front of his face. "It would look nice there and it'd be something only we shared, plus I wanted to see how you'd react," She answered nonchalantly a gentle shrug of her arms and a light dancing in her eyes. It went on like this for quite some time they would talk and chat and ask questions. She told him about her aunt and her older siblings, about the recent adoption of Jeno, her new apartment, and so much more. He told her about his conversations with the moon, about the fun times with his neighbors, and that he really loved her scarf. He told her words of poetry that would've fit in on her skin, talked about stardust and how he could see it in her eyes. She answered him in her own poetic way told him that she used to think he'd look like everything she loved and everything she hated, but now meeting him he looked like all her dreams, he looked like her home, and like everything she'd ever missed had come back to her. A few hours later they finally stood to leave, they swapped numbers and then they began the journey to her flat. They walked hand in hand comfortable and silent the whole way as she leaned gently on him and he tried to stay focused on walking so as to not trip over his own feet because of her beauty. "I still don't know your name," He said as they stopped in front of her front door both of their hands clasped together, they chuckled softly at the realization, having stuck to the now familiar pet names instead. "Y/N," She answered softly with a smile dancing on her lips. "I'm Jaemin," He replied and they both chuckled slightly before silence fell over them. His right hand gently dropped her's and rose towards her cheek before landing gently his hand warm against her cold cheek, "Can I?" He questioned softly and she knew what he was asking, so instead of answering she rose slightly and let her lips meet his and nothing had ever been so perfect in their lives. Every fear or worry about love and soulmates they'd had melted away as they melted together. "It was wonderful to meet you cinnamon," He said when he pulled away, his words were soft and his gaze even softer. "Officially that is," He added with a wink. "We should do this again," She responded softly. "The date or the kissing because both can be arranged," He said with a smirk and she sighed a blush rising to her cheeks at the thought of that magical kiss they'd just shared and the ones waiting for her in the future. "Both would be good," She answered with a gentle smile before kissing him on the cheek and bidding him farewell before entering her flat. Immediately she slid down against the door a soft smile and rosy cheeks adorning her face. Oh god, what was this control he had over her, she thought softly to herself and was surprised to find similar words echoing back to her, just as he was surprised to hear her thoughts. They both smiled softly though. In the end, though that wasn't really farewell for them. No, that night they stayed up talking to each other once again. In fact, very little changed in their relationship from that night on other than that they saw each other in person quite often and they knew each other's names. Dates at the nearby cafe in the morning became an almost daily routine, some days he came with flowers other days with pens and other days with just himself. On the days he came with pens he drew images on her skin so that she could choose when to get rid of it and have the originals on her own skin every now and then. These were always her favorite drawings. The only reason they weren't daily was that once a week they brought the rest of their friends and built families to the cafe with them. It was one of those such days when the historic meeting of the eldest siblings occurred. It was a few weeks later when it happened and they realized who the real Icarus of this story was and who the Moon really was. It was a few weeks later when the story truly came to a close everyone with their happiness in hand. She, Jaemin, Chenle, his soulmate, and Jeno were gathered at the nearby cafe that Taeil just so happened to work at and were waiting on Taeyong to spend some time with each other, their regular weekly family get together though Taeil and Taeyong were regularly absent for whatever reason, constantly missing each other. Nothing big happened until they were just about to leave and Taeyong took a good long look at the handwriting on the cup and then the barista behind the counter and then the handwriting and then the barista who happened to be a very confused Moon Taeil. Taeil looked between Taeyong and the party standing beside him, he was perplexed until all of that turned into a white pale surprise. "Where have I seen your handwriting before?" Taeyong said suddenly staring at Taeil who was now blank and frozen only broken out of his trance by his sister. "Holy shit," His younger sister muttered slightly looking between the two older brothers one a Lee and the other a Moon. Everyone waited the air frozen until Taeil spoke. "We might have a class together alternatively do the words tramp stamp mean anything to you?" Taeil said unable to stop the words slipping out of his mouth. Taeyong dropped the cup of coffee he was holding, thankfully it was empty so coffee didn't go splattering everywhere. "This is definitely not the context I thought this would have when it was finally said," Taeyong said looking from his wrist to the friendly barista he'd definitely thought was cute upon walking in here. "Wait are you her older brother?" Taeyong asked pointing to Chenle's soulmate the young Moon girl realizing that the only way any of this made sense was if there was a connection between the very cute barista and the young girl who was his sister's soulmate's neighbor. Taeil nodded and then asked a very similar question "Is she your younger sister?" pointing towards Jaemin's soulmate who was watching with a wide smile. Taeyong nodded in response. "So, let me get this straight, that one time I wrote on Jaemin cause he asked me to and I jokingly said sure because it might help me meet my soulmate, I was right?" Taeil questioned looking at the large group of frozen people all of them now nodding vigorously with dorky grins on their faces really happy for the two older males. "Xiumin I am taking the day off, I have just found my soulmate," Taeil said suddenly turning towards his manager who had been watching with growing confusion and interest. Xiumin nodded and gave one stipulation, an explanation the next time Taeil came to work, and then watched as his employee ran to the back changed as fast as possible and ran out to meet Taeyong. When they were standing next to each other Jaemin and Y/n both had a major revelation. Taeyong had always been the Icarus and Moon Taeil had always been the Moon and the Sea. Taeyong's roommate with the rainbow handprint on his arm had been the sun and when Taeyong had gotten too close he had fallen, right into Taeil, right into the kind and loving Sea guided by the moon a two-sided being often forgotten and hidden on the sidelines but no less beautiful. Someone Jaemin had trusted and told everything. Taeyong had fallen like Icarus but he would live on loved and cared for by the Sea and the Moon, who had caught him as he descended in fiery glory. "How do you feel about going to see a movie, right now?" Taeil asked after a moment of just staring at his extremely attractive soulmate. Taeyong could only nod in response, before leading Taeil out of the cafe and in the direction of the movie theater. "Looks like everyone gets a happy ending," Jaemin said with a soft smile before looking at his soulmate and giving her a quick kiss on the forehead. "You missed jerk," She replied and quickly kissed him on the lips. "I'm glad I found you." "I'm glad you let me," He responded softly smiling at her, both of them very ready for whatever came their way, for nothing could pull them apart.

(again not my gif!)

A/N so this is officially the end of the series! I hope you liked it! If not oh well sorry I tried! If y’all want to see the exact text conversation between Chenle and Y/N go ahead and ask and I’ll post it. Send any requests for new ideas I’ll do pretty much any group you want, but it’ll take longer and be crappier if it’s a group I don’t know.

#nct #nct scenarios #nct imagines #nct imagine #soulmate imagine #nct soulmate au #nct dream #nct 127 #nct u #nct 2018 #love #fluff #fluff scenario #sm entertainment #kpop soulmate au #sun and moon #kpop imagine #kpop scenario

25 notes · View notes

sulevinblade · 6 years ago

Text

OC Interview Meme

Tagged by: @mocha-writes (hopefully it tags you properly this time? But still, THANK YOU!!)

I’ll tag: @gremlinquisitor ofc, and anyone else who wants to do it! I don’t know who all among you may have already done it for your OCs but I love reading these!!

Since I did Ghilanel here, this one will be with Varevas. I’m... sorry, about him.

1. What is your name?

“You’ve lost my confidence with the very first question.”

2. What is your real name?

“Varevas, First of Clan Lavellan and Lord Inquisitor. I should make you use the entire thing for the duration as penance for not doing the least amount of background research.”

3. Do you know why you were called that?

“The end of it is just titles, of course, and I’m called those because I earned them, more or less. My given name is a variation of one given to at least one child in every generation of our clan in order to ensure someone carries our freedom forward. But no pressure.”

4. Are you single or taken?

“I am taken, frequently and to great mutual satisfaction.”

5. Have any abilities or powers?

“I love hearing them called powers because the implication is I went to bed one night unable to conjure a great fist of stone out of the loose Fade energy pouring from the rifts and then woke up able to do so. Maybe that’s how it looks to people who don’t possess magic of their own. I have many abilities, learned and honed through time and training. I have one power and that is closing rifts. I had nothing to do with that.”

6. Stop being a Mary Sue.

“I have no idea who that is.”

7. What’s your eye color?

“Green, light green.”

8. How about your hair color?

“Dark red. I’m thinking of growing it out.”

9. Have you any family members?

“My mother was killed by human bandits but my father is still alive, and I have one younger brother and a cousin with whom I’m quite close.”

10. Oh? What about pets?

“No, but recently we were in the Emerald Graves and I found a handful of caterpillars all climbing on some sort of communal nest or cocoon site. I didn’t really think anything of it and no one there knew what kind they were or if they were dangerous, but they did seem to respond to the sound of our voices. It was as though it startled them, but it looked like they were dancing, so I spent a few minutes teaching them different rhythms. I don’t think they cared for it but I never said I was good with animals. Bull thought it was hilarious.”

11. That’s cool I guess, now tell me about something you don’t like.

“I don’t like having my ancedotes dismissed. If we’re looking on a larger scale, I really don’t like that there’s an ancient magister threatening to destroy the world and start over and some people’s greatest concern is still how the ears of the person leading the fight to stop that are shaped.”

12. Do you have any hobbies/activities you like doing?

“I enjoy reading. My clan didn’t have many books and what we did have were focused on our history and written by other elves, which is very effective if you don’t ever plan on interacting with anyone other than elves ever. I can understand why many in my clan would have preferred that but I’ll take Skyhold’s library any day.”

13. Ever hurt anyone before?

“Oh yes, it’s a running joke. If you asked Dorian what my hobbies are, he’d tell you it’s indiscriminate murder, but I think I’m very discriminating.”

14. Ever… killed anyone before?

“I got ahead of myself with the last one. Well, asked and answered, but again, it’s not indiscriminate.” He looks unusually serious for a moment. “I learned my history and I know what indiscriminate murder looks like. What Corypheus intends is indiscriminate. What I am doing, as a representative of the Inquisition, is as thoughtful as it can afford to be. I don’t expect the families of people on the other side to thank me but I am doing what I feel has to be done.”

15. What kind of animal are you?

“A bear. Please ignore all follow up commentary from Dorian should there be any.”

16. Name your worst habits.

“I enjoy reading but I’m very bad at finishing books. There’s a stack of them beside my bed, all with bookmarks in them just waiting for my attention span to resolve itself. I don’t spend as much time here [in Skyhold] as I probably ought to but I’m not comfortable here. I interrupt Dorian’s research on a daily basis, though I can’t say that’s really all that bad since he still gets an impressive amount done.”

17. Do you look up to anyone at all?

“It’s disappointing to me that our differing opinions on the sovereignty of mages keeps Vivienne from giving me so much as the time of day because she’s achieved a kind of power and status that defies all expectations I have ever held for myself as a mage, and I was going to be Keeper of my clan. She’s competent, powerful, self-possessed, and a dazzling conversationalist. Many of those same things can be said of Solas but he also hasn’t kept himself apart in the same way so what admiration I may have for him is tempered by familiarity. We’re friendly, though I do still look up to him and now that he knows we share an interest in manipulating the energy coming from the rifts I think we’ll become even closer. Vivienne, however, is a class apart.”

18. Gay, straight, or bisexual?

“Gay. What a strange way to follow up your previous question.”

19. Do you go to school?

“And yet another unexpected turn! I began a mentorship under my clan’s Keeper as soon as I came into my magic. She ensured I studied other subjects as well but the main focus was history and lore; that’s a Keeper’s function, after all, it’s... it’s literally the name. Keeper.”

20. Do you ever want to marry and have kids one day?

“I haven’t really thought about it. I want to spend the rest of my life with Dorian but marriage is complicated for a lot of reasons, and frankly I can’t imagine anyone who takes the threat our world faces right now seriously daydreaming about raising a child. I want to make sure we have a world where raising families is still a possibility at the end of this but for myself, I don’t know.”

21. Do you have any fanboys/fangirls?

"I pay for my drinks at the Herald’s Rest just like anyone else. I really don’t care for being recognized even though I realize it’s inevitable. Except with you, though, you didn’t even know my name.”

22. What are you most afraid of?

“Fucking it all up. Absolutely just ruining everything. I like to keep my fears general so I’m always just a little terrified, it’s very motivational.”

23. What do you usually wear?

“I prefer light clothing that allows me to move easily. I need to ground myself in order to cast but I need to have my arms and body free.”

24. Do you love someone?

“I do. I never imagined that being an outcome of all this but I’m also lucky enough that he loves me back.”

25. When was the last time you wet yourself?

“Have you ever been gripped by the wrist and hoisted like a wet rag doll by a twelve-foot-tall creature made of red lyrium and avarice who wanted nothing more than to snap your hand off and kill you, knowing all your back-up had fled because you sent them away and the only outcome of this encounter was your death? You’d pee a little too, trust me.”

26. Well, it’s not over yet!

“I wouldn’t be surprised if he made me piss myself again, but this time I’ll be ready.”

27. What class are you? (High class, middle class, low class)

“Being the First of the clan meant I enjoyed certain privileges but our clan was not a wealthy one. My life here in Skyhold is an improvement in a lot of ways over life with the clan in that regard, and I suppose I am a lord now.”

28. How many friends do you have?

“More than six but less than ten. Draw your own conclusions.”

29. What are your thoughts on pie?

“Surprisingly difficult to make but worth it.”

30. Favourite drink?

“The water in Skyhold is the cleanest, freshest tasting water I’ve ever had, and it’s often bitterly cold too, so cold your teeth ache when you drink it. The castle is too cold to really enjoy that but I do enjoy it. Dorian thinks I’m mad but it’s the only cold thing I like.”

31. What’s your favourite place?

“My quarters, with all the doors closed and curtains hauled over them, a fire on and my lover close at hand. It’s the only way I can thaw out.”

32. Are you interested in someone?

“Keep. Up.”

33. What’s your bra cup size and/or how big is your willy?

“I've received no complaints.”

34. Would you rather swim in the lake or the ocean?

“Dorian tells me in Tevinter they have great indoor baths for swimming in. Given the option, one of those.”

35. What’s your type?

"Fire and Rift.” He pauses and sighs. “I don’t know that I could ever be with someone who wasn’t a mage. It made life in the clan very isolating because even as the First you were still seen mostly as competition for younger mages who wanted to keep their place in the clan. Having a ‘type’ never occurred to me. It still hadn’t when I ended up here. I don’t know that I have one. I love Dorian. I don’t need a type.”

36. Any fetishes?

His eyes flash and narrow and Varevas leans forward in his chair. “Whenever possible, I try to convince Dorian to keep his clothes on when I go down on him. I get off on the smell of the leather and the jingle of all those ridiculous buckles and clasps keeping him bound up while I try to make him explode.” He maintains eye contact the entire time he speaks and there’s not a hint of color on his cheeks. “Dorian is an incredibly private man who would be profoundly hurt if I revealed anything factual in a situation like this, so do with that statement what you will.”

37. Seme or uke? Top or Bottom? Dominant or Submissive?

“We’re done discussing this.”

38. Camping or indoors?

“Indoors. Who doesn’t like being warm and dry?”

39. Are you wanting the interview to end?

“If that’s what it takes to end these questions about my private affairs then yes.”

40. Now it’s over!

“Brilliant. You can show yourself out.”

#varevas lavellan #the dalish disaster himself #the pet question is absolutely a reference to the caterpillar rave vine #i was watching vine compilations the other night #and decided that one is var #also ctrl+f how many times he mentions dorian #the boy's got it bad #this was so much fun #i love him even if he's not my canon inq #thank you again for the tag!!#oc interview meme

8 notes · View notes

indigo-ra · 5 years ago

Text

Transgender Transgressions

So look, I sometimes maybe go on these tirades about how the transgender struggle is a made up problem. And I just want to clarify for anyone who actually reads these posts (absolutely nobody) that I’m not a hateful person. There are people out in the world making arguments against transgenderism just for the sake of winning a debate, but who really don’t give a shit. But I do. I’m going to hurt you with this tough love, but only because you need it. I might make generalizations, but if they don’t apply to you, then you don’t need to be offended. On the other hand, if they do apply to you, take great offense and change your behaviors so that they don’t apply to you. I don’t hate trans people, but I do hate that they actively make a decision to endure a struggle and whine about it. A person doesn’t have a choice in being born into their race, and *most* of the time, they don’t choose to be gay or lesbian. HOWEVER, when you choose not to accept your outside truth because your id is shrieking for the instant gratification of being “who you are”, beyond the power of clothes and makeup, you’re on some spoiled bitch tantrum, and indulging that will not make you a better person. You will actively put yourself through horomone treatments, physical, mental, and spiritual illness, genital mutilation etc.. and still call for people to be empathetic to a struggle you CHOSE to endure. So you think everyone should be compassionate toward you for a choice you made to do things to yourself so that you could feel better about yourself, and when the outside forces disapprove, you’re back to saying you’re being discriminated against when it had nothing to do with gaining others approval in the first place. It’s like going to college, choosing a major and then, in your senior year, picking an ELECTIVE class, that’s so fucking hard that it docks your GPA. Why do you opt to be treated like you’re fragile when you CHOSE the HARDEST CLASS? YOU CHOSE IT, but you’re weak, and fragile? I have no empathy for that mindset because it’s SELFISH. Nobody who ever decided they wanted to change genders ever did it with a selfless mindset and if they did, they knew exactly what would come and accepted that as a consequence of their actions. If you’ve recognized that you are selfish and you feel like you have the right to be selfish, then you also have the right to feel like an asshole when somebody calls you “sir” or “ma’am” not to your liking, because your biology was written before you DECIDED to “transition” and its not their fucking job to call you by your preferred pronouns just because you’re having an inner crisis that YOU CHOSE TO PUT ON OUTER DISPLAY. That’s not being insensitive. I’ve been called “sir” and I look nothing like a man, but I didn’t have a fucking meltdown about it because I’m secure in who I am. Changing your outside to match your INSECURE INSIDE won’t fix the innate issues that make a person INSECURE. Cosmetic changes won’t change the code of your DNA or your personality flaws. If you were a bitch before you transitioned, you’ll likely be a bitch after, because regardless of what YOU think, changing your gender and name doesn’t change the person you are, just the face you’re using. I know I’m going hard right now, but if you CHOOSE to live a hard life, you better toughen the fuck up. Women fight and struggle for equal rights and now there are men who are changing the topography of what it means to be a “woman” simply because they want to feel included. You don’t know what it’s like to have a fucking period, but for some reason since you’re allowed to compete against girls now, you feel like you stand for us??? Have several seats “SIR”. On the other hand, women turning into men are going to deal with man problems that will irk the fuck out of them, like when men make sexist jokes about women or sexual assault-what we like to call “rape culture” but boys are just dumb and laugh at shit like that because that's in their stupid fucking Testosterone-humored nature, and you, a “man with a vagina” WILL FEEL TRIGGERED AS A WOMAN. So stop. Just stop. You wanna be trans, that’s fine, but you look like a freak to me. And that’s okay, Just accept that. Once you do, shit will get a lot easier. The gays did it, and their parades with their twinky glitter fairyboys can even make a hard-nosed, steak-and-potatoes, straight Texan man laugh, because they’re okay with letting their freak flags fly. But trying to say I’m transgender and I’m normal, I’m like anybody else, when you’re not and its because you CHOSE not to be, you can fuck right off with that. k? What kind of vanity changes from a male to a female and their sexual preference is females? That’s a head-scratcher for me, and I know that gender Identity and gender preference are not mutually exclusive before you start screaming from your little broken soapbox, but you only got 2 to fucking choose from and you still manage to alienate yourself from the best of both stock options. At the very least you should get out of the habit of being SO adamant about your pronouns to STRANGERS. To people who know you and love you and give a shit about your feelings, whatever. But if you bump into a person at the mall and they say “Oh excuse me sir” take that L, You look like a fucking dude. That’s not a reason to be sad or angry at anybody but yourself for thinking you could leave the house in that outfit without looking like that person you “swear” you are underneath your biology. Not anybody else’s problem, but yours. ALSO, when you reach the end of that magical rainbow you call “transitioning” just call yourself a man or a woman. Saying you’re a “trans-man” or a “trans-woman” invites scrutiny and judgment, and UNLESS YOU ACTUALLY LIKE DRAMA you shouldn’t be saying that. I already know what you’re gonna say “But I’m proud of blahblah” If you don’t want the first thing people to think about, when they meet you, is “What’s between your legs?”, you shouldn’t mention it in regular conversation. It’s a way of boasting your ego to slide trans in there by saying “Yeah I look good huh, can you believe I used to be a boy/girl?” See? I told you were an asshole. Check this out: Trans-formation Trans-ition Trans-migrate Trans-mission The prefix “trans” means to change. Whether it’s gears or genders, once it’s completed, the “trans” part is fucking OVER. Do you understand that? A butterfly doesn’t go around saying I’m trans-caterpillar. It was once a caterpillar and it TRANSFORMED into a butterfly. You’re just a woman or a man after. You’re not special, and that’s the real issue, you want special treatment, but you need to check that fucking ego. If you really feel like you’re a real woman or man who’s FINALLY been granted a second chance at life in the body you’ve always wanted, then leave that trans part out, unless you want to be bullied. Love you. Grow up. Bye.

#transgender #is #not #the #end #growup #growsomeballstoo

0 notes

trekkingbeaconhills · 8 years ago

Photo

Sterek AU - I Remember You Part 6/?

Derek walked me through the rain and to the doors of the hospital and checked the service desk. He asked for Melissa. The lady guided us to a small room with chairs and told us to wait for her to come. We sat down and I stared at the snack machine. I sure wanted something from it, but I wasn’t sure about my stomach behaving. It growled in agony.

Derek sat there, very quietly, watching me with anticipation. He knew what I wanted.

“Why are you being so nice to me?” I asked, smiling at him.

I startled him. “What do you mean?”

I wasn’t used to someone caring so much about me like he did. Not even my own father forced me to go to the hospital when I was sick. “You made me food. You comforted me after I puked all in your toilet. You brought me to the hospital.”

His eyebrows scrunched together. “I,” he said, “care about you. I want you to be healthy.” His voice was small and quiet. “I don’t want to spend the first full day with you with you being sick like this.”

“First full day?” I asked.

He dropped his head and chuckled. “If this sickness goes away by morning, I’m taking you out.”

My eyes widened. “What? You are? What are we doing?”

“I was going to take you to see an old family house of mine. One I used to visit when I was a kid. It’s my grandparents’ house.” He grabbed my hand and started to rub it. “It’s not much, but I’m pretty sure it’s abandoned like mine was. They died way before the fire. We just never inherited their house because it was too far away for Laura and I to go to school here in Beacon Hills. Plus, my father and mother were alphas to the old pack they had together. They couldn’t just abandon them. So, the house remained untouched. Or, at least I hope it did. Hopefully, it’s too far out there for anyone to care about it.”

I listened to his words about the old house. I was fascinated. I couldn’t wait to see this. “That’s awesome.”

Just then, a door opened, and Melissa McCall stepped out, smiling at us both. She wore a blue scrub outfit, her hair tied up in a loose ponytail. “Hello, boys,” she said. “It’s nice seeing you here, Derek.”

He returned her enthusiasm and we both stood up to follow her down a long hallway and to the right into a small room with a bed and a swivel chair. I sat down on the edge of the bed, and Derek stood by me. Melissa came into the room, holding my information on a clipboard, seeing all of my medical history. My temperamental dementia. I shivered. Derek noticed and rubbed my back, careful not to show Melissa the gesture.

“So,” Melissa said, sitting down, “what’s up?”

I looked to Derek. I said, “Well, it didn’t start until this morning. I woke up and my stomach was acting up.” They both watched me as I spoke. “I made myself some breakfast, just some pizza. Uh, I was reading one of dad’s reports and I just puked everywhere.” They waited. “Then, when I got to feeling better, I went over to see Derek, and he made me macaroni and cheese. I threw that up, too.”

Melissa jotted down everything I said. “So, you’re puking everything you’re eating?”

“Pretty much, yes.”

“Have you considered food poisoning?”

“No, I just ate pizza and macaroni. I don’t understand how I could get food poisoning from eating pizza.” I hung my head.

“Well, let me go get Dr. Layman in here, and I’ll start running some tests,” she said, patting my hand and giving me a courtesy smile.

Not even five minutes of silence between Derek and I, the doctor walked in with another clipboard and his glasses were in the lower bridge of his nose.

“Good afternoon, Mr. M… Mi… Okay, never mind. Good afternoon, Mr. Stilinski,” he said taking a seat in the swivel chair, never looking at me. It made me nervous. I hated the doctor. He had dark gray hair and a tall stature. His nose was rather large, and his lips were tout. He wore a white coat with a name tag. “Ms. McCall told me you’ve got some stomach issues, yes?”

“Yes, sir,” I said.

He washed his hands and pulled on some tight latex gloves. He rolled toward me and held up his stethoscope. “Alright, Mr. Stilinski, straighten up for me.”

I did as I was told and he put the scope to my chest and then my back. He tutted.

“Your lungs sound great.” He turned back around and started to write on his paper. He stood up and pulled out a scope. First he checked my left ear, then my right. “Okay, say ‘ah’.”

I opened my mouth and stuck my tongue out.

“No signs of severe irritation, probably just some from the regurgitation,” he mumbled. He then took my arm and wrapped a cuff around it to take my blood pressure, and placed something on my finger. The machine started to squeeze my arm for about 30 seconds. “And lastly, before we bring Ms. McCall back in here, I’m gonna take your temperature.” He put the bar under my tongue until it beeped. “98.9,” he sighed. “Well, kid, nothing too serious here. Melissa will be in here shortly to take some blood samples and cotton swabs. And then I will be back in here later. See ya.” He stood up, his new shoes squeaking off in the distance.

I turned to see Derek’s face stuck in a children’s book. What was he reading? “Derek?” I smiled.

He blushed as he looked up. “Yes, Stiles?” He closed the book and laid it back on the counter that he was leaning on.

“Were you reading a child’s book?”

He crossed his arms. “Yes.” It took all he had not to crack a smile.

“So,” I prolonged, looking at the book, “does ‘The Very Hungry Caterpillar’ have anything interesting in it?”

He laughed and made way to me. His hands cupped my face, and he gave me a small peck on the lips. “You’re so weird.”

“Yeah, but you like it.” “Sure, sure,” he mumbled, leaning in for another kiss.

As soon as our lips touched, Melissa came through the door.

Her eyes shot wide open. “Oh, gosh, guys. I’m so sorry. I had no idea.” She started to ramble.

“Don’t,” I quickly said, readjusting myself onto the bed, breaking away from the other man. “Do not tell Scott, please.”

Derek was already on the other side of the room, his face a deep shade of red.

“I apologize,” he whispered, keeping his head down.

“No,” she reassured, “no, that’s my fault. I should’ve knocked. I just… didn’t know what to expect, really.” She tried not to make eye contact. “And you have my word. Don’t tell Scott. Got it. I will not do that.” Her hands fluttered about, pushing a cart from the hallway into the room. “Whew, it’s not everyday that MY heart gets jumpstarted.”

Silence.

“Okayyy…” she muttered. “Let’s get this over with.”

After the awkwardness seemed to disappear, she struck up a conversation with Derek while cleaning a spot on my middle finger.

“So, Derek, how long have you been back?” She squeezed my finger, letting blood rise.

“Uhh,” he replied, “about a week. I just moved back in.” There was still some tension in his voice.

“And your sister? Cora?” Melissa tried so hard to ease it.

Derek hesitated. “She’s fine. She moved further into Mexico with another alpha from San Angel, and I’m pretty sure she’s married now. I think his name is Emilio Jimenez? So she’s now Cora Jimenez. Not Cora Hale.” He sounded sad. I think he missed her.

She pricked my finger. “Ow,” I said aloud, listening to Derek’s story. She looked at me and smiled.

“And,” she started, “I don’t mean to be… nosey, but how did this-” she gestured to me and Derek, “-happen?”

I blushed. “Uhh, well. It’s a long story.” I looked to Derek and he smiled, embarrassed, covering his face.

“I’ve got all day,” she said, obviously wanting to push me.

I said, “Okay, then. Well, Derek and I have… a lot in common. We like a lot of the same things, and he is sometimes sweet. Uh, anyways, we just… started. Neither of us really asked, but it was a mutual feeling. It was a bit awkward at first, but no one else knows. Well, besides you, now.”

“Oh, so did you just start… dating?” Her curiosity sparked in her eyes. How could I deny answering her questions?

“Yes. We just started dating, and I’m not ready to tell my dad just yet. Or Scott. I’m not sure how Scott would take this.”

She threw her hands up in the air, shaking the tube of blood she just took from my finger. She capped it and laid it on the rolling table. “Scott shouldn’t care! You’re like his brother! God, if anyone should be uncomfortable with it, it’s you all. You both have a lot of responsibility to carry now. Stiles, there are more important things in this life than worrying about who you love and who accepts you. You have a lot on your plate. You’re going off to college, and Derek is… here.” She sounded confused. “Scott is getting promoted at work. He’s now doing surgeries. With his healing abilities, it makes it a lot easier for Deaton to do the procedures, especially since he can calm the animals inside. But either way, don’t worry about what Scott thinks. If he has a problem, he can come to me about it.” She placed a nice puppy bandaid on my finger.

I smiled really big. “Thanks,” I responded very happily. I looked at Derek, his eyes already on me. He gave me a small nod. I really felt right with Derek. This truly felt like we were meant to be.

“You are more than welcome,” Melissa said, picking all of her stuff up and throwing her gloves into a red trash bag along with the poker thing. “This might take a while to do, but I’m going to take your blood and see if it’ll tell us about your stomach virus, okay? So, you two sit tight, and I will be back as soon as I can.”

She walked out, pushing her little cart, and she shut the door behind her. It was quiet. I couldn’t hear anything other than the faint short breaths of Derek.

“Come sit beside me, please?” I asked him.

Derek pushed himself off of the counter and leaned against the bed. He examined my puppy bandage and let his eyes wander all over my hand and to my arms until his eyes landed on mine. His eyes were so green, and his eyelashes complemented them so well. He tilted his head and squinted. “Stiles,” he spoke, very, very softly. He took my hand and rubbed it with the pad of his thumb. “I know I’m rushing, but I’m very serious.” My mouth propped open. “Nothing makes me feel the way that you do, and you know I’m not the committed type. You are all I’ve thought about for the past week and a half. I just can’t get you off of my mind. No one has ever made me feel this way.” My heart jumped happily. “Stiles, your beautiful face. Your lips. Your mind. Everything about you is amazing.” He stopped, looking for a reaction, but I was stiff. “I guess, what I’m trying to say is that… I love you, too.”

“Too?” I gasped. My heart was definitely going insane.

“Whenever you fell asleep on me last night, you said ‘I love you’, and I never said it back. I guess I needed confrontation before I was sure this is what I wanted, but now I know. I do. I love you, Stiles.”

My head was spinning. I didn’t remember telling him that I loved him, but I did. He loved me back. He really did love me. I couldn’t help but smiling. Out of everyone telling me they loved me, this one… This one felt real. I could feel my chest swell up with excitement. I placed Derek’s hand over my heart so he could feel it racing. He smiled.

“I could already hear it,” he said.

A small oh escaped my lips. “Are you sure, Derek? About everything? About us?”

He kissed me. My eyes shut and let the sensation take me. His lips tasted sweet. Very musky. Very woodlike. His hand went from my heart to my neck, and he pulled me closer. His tongue swiped my bottom lip, and I wanted to open my mouth, to let him in, but I knew better. I didn’t want to get too excited. Instead, I pulled back and let our foreheads touch. I could feel him staring at me through his dark eyelashes until he leaned forward and rubbed our noses together. I shrunk back and let out a snort.

Still smiling, he whispered, “I’m sure. I love you, Stiles.”

I laid my head on his shoulder. “I love you, too, Derek.”

For about 20 minutes Derek and I talked about school and what I planned on majoring in, and I told him that I wasn’t 100% comfortable about my choice. He understood. He never got interested in college because of his parents’ fortune. He was basically set for life, and if it were possible to, he could live three lives on the money they provided. From start to finish. He told me that I didn’t have to go to college because he would provide for me, but I told him about my father and how much he wanted me to go to college to get a better education than Beacon Hills had to offer, although I made a 34 on my ACT, and I had the highest GPA out of my class besides Lydia. It was so low class for me to go to a knock-off college for an Associates Degree in business, but it didn’t matter. If that’s what it took for me to have my father’s approval, then that’s what I would do. I just hated to be so far away from my friends and family that I was really contemplating on not going and just suffering my father’s wrath later. Plus, I had Derek now. He was everything I wanted. If I told my dad that, he would definitely not approve. Me, spending my amazing talents on a man that I had just acclaimed I loved. Definitely not.

But one thing I was definitely sure about, I was starving.

There was a very quiet knock on the door that made Derek snap his head up. He was suddenly on his guard. I looked at him very carefully as he eyed the door.

It opened, Melissa stepping in with a very cautious look on her face. It was drained of all blood. She looked pale like she had gotten sick. She first looked at Derek, with her mouth slightly open, then she looked at me, and frowned. She tried cheering herself up by playing a fake smile. “Uh, your blood test came back. The good news, you’re not sick! You don’t have the flu, and you don’t have a stomach virus.”

Derek was still curious, but he kept his posture upright.

Then, she looked at him again. “Derek, if I could have you step out into the visitor’s room, that would be very appreciated.”

My gut churned. I watched Derek as he hesitantly dropped off the side of the bed, sliding his hand out of mine. He straightened his shirt and looked at her. “No problem.” I could tell he wasn’t happy. I wasn’t either. I didn’t want to be away from him. Not at this point.

“It’s nothing to worry about, Derek,” she assured.

He stepped through the door, and Melissa shut it carefully, leaning up against it, making sure Derek was out of hearing range. “Stiles,” she whispered, shutting her eyes. She finally opened them after a few seconds, and then proceeded to advance toward me. “The doctors can’t explain it, and neither can I. I’ve never heard of this in my entire life. It should be impossible.”

By this time, I started to freak out, thinking about the Nogitsune. Had it come back? No, that’s impossible.

“Stiles, I had to make something up. I knew it was yours. I had to tell the other doctors that it was someone else’s. This has to be something to do with the werewolf thing because I have no other explanation for this.” She looked at me with tears in her eyes. “I’m sorry, I just don’t know how to go about this.” She licked her lips. My heart was waiting in painful anticipation. “There’s something inside of you.”

My eyes fell to my stomach. “Like?” I was hallucinating. My breathing became ragged.

She cracked a smile out of fear. “Stiles, there’s a baby inside of you.”

#sterek #sterek au #teen wolf #derek hale #stiles stilinski #mine #mpreg #spoilers

26 notes · View notes

stxrryeyes · 8 years ago

Note

1-99 😘

Okay, here goes! It’s pretty long, but oh well!

1: 6 of the songs you listen to most?

Wish You Were Here by Pink Floyd, Make Them Gold by CHVRCHES, Homeward Bound by Peter Hollens, Vienna by Billy Joel, Love Love Love by The Mountain Goats, and Permafrost by Laurena Segura, off the top of my head.

2: If you could meet anyone on this earth, who would it be?

Idk, honestly. There are so many truly lovely people out there.

3: Grab the book nearest to you, turn to page 23, give me line 17.

“It was not a large road, or well traveled.”

4: What do you think about most?

So Many Things

5: What does your latest text message from someone else say?

“Honors Chemistry: Watch Video #2 before class Thursday”

6: Do you sleep with or without clothes on?

With

7: What’s your strangest talent?

I don’t know how strange exactly it is, but I can tune basically any stringed instrument by ear.

8: Girls… (finish the sentence); Boys… (finish the sentence)

Girls don’t have to be traditionally feminine, Boys don’t have to be traditionally masculine.

9: Ever had a poem or song written about you?

Yep, a couple times. Some were very sweet, and others were veeeery cringy.

10: When is the last time you played the air guitar?

I have no idea

11: Do you have any strange phobias?

I’m kinda freaked out by adult Canada geese, if that counts. Those things are mean.

12: Ever stuck a foreign object up your nose?

That’s a fairly safe assumption. I was, in fact, a toddler once.

13: What’s your religion?

I’m personally Christian (Evangelical Covenant), but do my very best to be religiously tolerant towards others

14: If you are outside, what are you most likely doing?

Working on the farm.That, or wandering in the forest, as I do frequently in the summer.

15: Do you prefer to be behind the camera or in front of it?

Depends on the circumstance, I suppose. I like photography, but I also like being in pictures.

16: Simple but extremely complex. Favorite band?

Ahhh this is hard. Either The Mountain Goats or Pink Floyd?

17: What was the last lie you told?

I told my dad that I wasn’t too worried about applying for colleges. I am.

18: Do you believe in karma?

Maybe?

19: What does your URL mean?

It’s a term a friend used to describe me once, cause I’m “sweet but strong” and I thought it was cute.

20: What is your greatest weakness; your greatest strength?

Both in one: I feel things really deeply.

21: Who is your celebrity crush?

I dunno

22: Have you ever gone skinny dipping?

Nope

23: How do you vent your anger?

I rant to a friend, or to my horse, or I muck out stalls.

24: Do you have a collection of anything?

Lol, do saddle pads count?

25: Do you prefer talking on the phone or video chatting online?

Video chatting, cause reading people’s facial expressions makes communication a little easier, it seems.

26: Are you happy with the person you’ve become?

I’ve still got some work to do, but basically

27: What’s a sound you hate; sound you love?

I can’t stand lawnmowers or snowblowers, but I love the sound of the forest. You know, like, songbirds and wind and water and stuff?

28: What’s your biggest “what if”?

What if I’m a terrible person but just can’t see it?

29: Do you believe in ghosts? How about aliens?

Ghosts… in a way. Not the typical haunted house/ Casper type by any means. Off-Earth life seems probable, but I have no evidence one way or the other on that matter.

30: Stick your right arm out; what do you touch first? Do the same with your left arm.

Right arm: my book. Left arm: the wall.

31: Smell the air. What do you smell?

My mom is baking sourdough downstairs, so that.

32: What’s the worst place you have ever been to?

Worst not locationally, but situationally was when I was out working a garden in middle-of-nowhere Tennessee without any shelter other than a greenhouse for a ways and there was a tornado on the horizon. It turned out fine, though.

33: Choose: East Coast or West Coast?

Yes

34: Most attractive singer of your opposite gender?

I dunno

35: To you, what is the meaning of life?

I don’t know that there’s any one pervasive clear-cut meaning.

36: Define Art.

I don’t think that Art can be defined, it seems like it just is.

37: Do you believe in luck?

Sure

38: What’s the weather like right now?

A little bit snowy, but weirdly warm for this time of year

39: What time is it?

9:53 pm

40: Do you drive? If so, have you ever crashed?

I have my permit, but no crashes

41: What was the last book you read?

I Capture The Castle by Dodie Smith

42: Do you like the smell of gasoline?

Nope

43: Do you have any nicknames?

Yep. Lots.

44: What was the last film you saw?

The Little Prince

45: What’s the worst injury you’ve ever had?

In seventh grade, I passed out on a ladder, broke my jaw in three places, and bit a hole through my lip.

46: Have you ever caught a butterfly?

Not caught, but I’ve raised lots of caterpillars that I’ve found in the garden

47: Do you have any obsessions right now?

So many. Patrick Rothfuss books, The Decemberists, Critical Role, Equestrian vaulting, the list goes on.

48: What’s your sexual orientation?

Maybe straight? Maybe bi? Maybe something entirely different? Who knows, not me

49: Ever had a rumour spread about you?

Not that I’ve heard

50: Do you believe in magic?

Not really

51: Do you tend to hold grudges against people who have done you wrong?

I try not to, but I do

52: What is your astrological sign?

Sagittarius

53: Do you save money or spend it?

Usually save, but every so often I splurge

54: What’s the last thing you purchased?

Lunch

55: Love or lust?

Love

56: In a relationship?

Nope

57: How many relationships have you had?

Romantic? None

58: Can you touch your nose with your tongue?

Nope

59: Where were you yesterday?

School, mostly

60: Is there anything pink within 10 feet of you?

Yep

61: Are you wearing socks right now?

Yep

62: What’s your favourite animal?

All of ‘em

63: What is your secret weapon to get someone to like you?

I act like a decently nice person and do the lil half smile thing. To be honest, I’m not quite sure why it is that people end up liking me?

64: Where is your best friend?

Probably at home?

65: Give me your top 5 favourite blogs on Tumblr.

Aside from people I know, there’s @literarystarbucks, @birdandmoon, @rejectedprincesses, @old-friends-senior-dog-sanctuary, and @strandbooks

66: What is your heritage?

Egyptian/Arab on my dad’s side and Scandinavian on my mom’s side

67: What were you doing last night at 12AM?

Sleeping

68: What do you think is Satan’s last name?

I have no idea???

69: Be honest. Ever gotten yourself off?

This may just be my slightly sheltered midwestern upbringing showing, but I don’t quite understand the question

70: Are you the kind of friend you would want to have as a friend?

I hope so

71: You are walking down the street on your way to work. There is a dog drowning in the canal on the side of the street. Your boss has told you if you are late one more time you get fired. What do you do?

HELP THE PUPPY. My boss will understand.

72: You are at the doctor’s office and she has just informed you that you have approximately one month to live. a) Do you tell anyone/everyone you are going to die? b) What do you do with your remaining days? c) Would you be afraid?

I probably tell people I’m close to. I’d definitely get a second opinion, then spend lots of time with my family, friends, and horses, just doin goofy stuff and making memories. I’d probably write, too, to help myself settle with the idea of death. I’d definitely be afraid. Not terrified, though.

73: You can only have one of these things; trust or love.

Love

74: What’s a song that always makes you happy when you hear it?

Shut Up And Dance by Walk The Moon

75: What are the last four digits in your cell phone number?

I’m just gonna not put that up here…

76: In your opinion, what makes a great relationship?

Mutual generosity and respect

77: How can I win your heart?

Be kind. Talk about art or philosophy or stuff that goes beyond small talk. Do cute cheesy things with me, like stargazing or hiking or swing dancing. Be respectful of others and reasonably humble. Talk about books with me. Let me get to know you.

78: Can insanity bring on more creativity?

Oh, in some cases, certainly

79: What is the single best decision you have made in your life so far?

Not to go to boarding school in New Hampshire. Yes, that was a thing that was being seriously considered for a while. I would have been miserable.

80: What size shoes do you wear?

7.5

81: What would you want to be written on your tombstone?

I have no idea. You’re probably bored of that answer by now, but it’s true.

82: What is your favourite word?

Perspicacious

83: Give me the first thing that comes to mind when you hear the word; heart.

Courage

84: What is a saying you say a lot?

You got this

85: What’s the last song you listened to?

O Valencia! by The Decemberists

86: Basic question; what’s your favourite colour/colours?

Pale lemon yellow, mint green, cranberry red, and navy blue.

87: What is your current desktop picture?

It’s a cute little pink floral pattern

88: If you could press a button and make anyone in the world instantaneously explode, who would it be?

Steve Bannon

89: What would be a question you’d be afraid to tell the truth on?

Like, on the internet in general? My address and crap, I guess

90: One night you wake up because you heard a noise. You turn on the light to find that you are surrounded by MUMMIES. The mummies aren’t really doing anything, they’re just standing around your bed. What do you do?

I’d probably panic and get the heck outta there, then call the cops or something like that

91: You accidentally eat some radioactive vegetables. They were good, and what’s even cooler is that they endow you with the super-power of your choice! What is that power?

Invisibility, cause it would be really useful in a myriad of ways

92: You can re-live any point of time in your life. The time-span can only be a half-hour, though. What half-hour of your past would you like to experience again?

The bit where I sat in the stall with our newborn foal, giving her her first real interaction with humans. That was pretty magical.

93: You can erase any horrible experience from your past. What will it be?

Most of my horrible experiences have shaped me in one way or another, so I guess I’m almost grateful for some of them. Not all, though.Only a couple of weeks ago, one of our horses boke his leg in a freak accident and had to be put down. That was hard.

94: You have the opportunity to sleep with the music-celebrity of your choice. Who would it be?

No thanks, for I am but a child

95: You just got a free plane ticket to anywhere. You have to depart right now. Where are you gonna go?

Washington state

96: Do you have any relatives in jail?

Nope

97: Have you ever thrown up in the car?

Nope

98: Ever been on a plane?

Yep

99: If the whole world were listening to you right now, what would you say?

I think I’ve answered this before in an ask, but it still holds true. In the words of the eternal Kurt Vonnegut, “God dammit, you’ve got to be kind.”

Thanks for sticking with me through this crazy long post, friends!

1 note · View note