#a brilliant idea but i dont think i'm ready for this level of commitment

[thestarsrealigned]

i have a really odd fanfic idea and i really need to put it out in the open (posting about Wild Kratts on main? oh hell yeah!)

So uh, i was listening to Journey to the Past from the 1997 animated masterpiece that is Anastasia… what if, and PLEASE HEAR ME OUT, Anastasia (1997) AU?

From the way I have been thinking about this (for the last half hour) is that Chris is the lost Prince Christopher, except he doesn't know that because he has absolutely no memory of it because he hit his head while escaping when the monarchy was violently thrown over and it's been so long since that most people assume he died with his parents that night.

Chris only has one item that connects him to his past is a compass and a very familiar voice in the back of his head telling him "so you'll always know how to find me" every time he looks at the blue and silver of the compass.

--

Prince Martin was only fourteen when he took an overcrowded train from the remains of his kingdom to his Grandmother's in France and the last thing he saw of his brother was when Chris fell off while trying to get him onto the train. While he is much older now, and the scars Chris' fingernails left when Martin lost his grip have faded with time, Martin knows his brother's alive he just can't prove it.

[moistmailman]

House Wife AU part 5

*Halloween Night*

Pyrrha, wearing a cowboy costume: *handing out candy* Oh my goodness, what are you supposed to be, sweetie?

Little boy, happily: I’m an astwonaut!

Pyrrha, giggling: Well you have to be the cutest little astronaut ever. Here you go. *puts candy in bag.

Boy's parents: What do you say to the nice lady?

Little boy: Thank you, nice lady.

Pyrrha, smiling sweetly: You’re welcome, sweetie. Have a happy Halloween! *shuts door and yells towards her stairs* Hey kids! Are you guys almost ready for trick or treating?

Troy’s voice, from up stairs: Yeah hold on! Almost done!

Pyrrha: Please hurry! Uncle Roman and Mercury should be here any minute no—

*Door bell rings*

Pyrrha, grabbing bowl of candy: Ope, more trick or treaters. *opens door* Happy Halloween!

Roman, chuckling: Oooh, we get candy too?

Mercury: And here I thought this holiday was only for kids.

Pyrrha, chuckling: Oh, it’s you two. I’m sorry. I thought you guys were trick or treaters. Please, come in. The kids are getting ready.

Mercury, walking in: So, are the kiddos excited to go trick or treating?

Pyrrha, smiling: They sure are. They been waiting all year for this. They were too excited to go to sleep last night actually. They were too busy talking about how much candy they were going to get. It was adorable.

Roman, smiling: Yeah, I'm sure it was. So, where’s Cindie?

Pyrrha, frowning: Hmm? She should be around here somewhere. Where is she? Hey sweetheart, come here! Roman and Mercury are here!

Cinder’s voice, sighing in the other room: Hold on! Just....give a minute.

Mercury, raising an eyebrow: What’s wrong with her?

Pyrrha, smiling: Oh nothing. Our kids’ picked our costumes and she’s....she’s not the biggest fan of hers.

Roman: Oh really? How bad is it?

Pyrrha: It’s not even bad. She’s just being a little grump. Cinder, sweetheart, are you coming?

Cinder’s voice, approaching: Yeah, hold on! I’m on my way.

*Suddenly Cinder grudgingly walks through the door with a Bo Peep costume on, including the pink polkadotted dress, hat, and even cane*

Cinder, scowling:...........

Roman/Mercury:........*snorts laughter*

Cinder, glaring: You shut your god damn mouths!

Mercury, laughing: Nice costume. Where's your other toy friends?

Cinder, gritting her teeth: Shut up.

Roman, laughing: Are you trying out a new look or something? It really suits you.

Cinder: I swear to God I will fucking shove my foo—

Pyrrha: Hey, language. Just calm down and ignore them, okay? Besides, I think you look really cute in that costume anyway. *kisses her* You're my cute Bo Peep.

Cinder, sighing: Where are the kids?

Pyrrha, smiling: They should be coming down. *Yells towards the stairs* Hey kids! Come down, uncle Roman and Mercury are here!

*Loud footsteps are heard*

Achilles’s voice: COMING!

*Achilles and Troy excitedly run down stairs in sheep costumes*

Pyrrha, cooing: Aww, look how precious you two look. You’re my two little precious lambs. *kisses their heads*

Mercury: So, I see there’s a theme going on.

Pyrrha, smiling: Yeah, they just saw toy story last week and loved it. So they picked our costumes and we picked theirs. *Cooing* And I'm honestly so happy I picked these costumes, but they are absolutely adorable, I swear. Whose mommy's little lambs? *Kisses their heads a bunch againi

Achilles: Mooom! You're embarrassing us!

Pyrrha, punching Achilles cheek: Oh nonsense. There's nothing embarrassing about a mother's love. Now scoot together so I can't take some pictures.

*Pyrrha snaps a bunch of pictures of her kids, while slightly getting teary eyed and mumbling about her "precious lambs"*

Roman, crouching down: So are you kiddos ready for trick or treating?

Achilles, jumping: Heck yeah I am!

Troy, shaming with excitement: I can’t wait! We are going to get so much candy!

Mercury: You got that right! We marked all the rich people’s house that give the best candy out! So your bags are going to be packed!

Achilles: Yes! I can’t wait!

Troy: Lets Go!

Cinder: Hold on, guys. Let me have a word with your 'uncles' real quick. Comm’ere for a minute, you two.

Mercury, sighing: Oh great.

Roman, sighing: Just give us a minute kids. This won’t take long.

*Cinder escorts Mercury and Roman to the living room privately*

Cinder, deadly serious: I just want to tell you guys that if you lose our kids, or if ANYTHING happens to them, I’ll kill you both.

Roman, rolling his eyes: Yeah Yeah, I know.

Cinder: I’m serious. I will kill you both with no hesitation at all. No matter how far you run, and where you hide, I will find and slaughter you both like the dogs you are.

Mercury, groaning: We know already. You literally tell us this each time we baby sit them at all.

Cinder, growling: And I mean it each and everytime too. Don’t let them out of your sights, or so help me god I’ll—

Roman, rolling his eyes: Kill us, we got it. Can we go now?

Cinder: Yeah. Get out of here. And don’t make me regret letting you do this.

Roman, smiling: Right. See you around, farmer’s daughter.

Cinder: Dont you fucking call me th—

Roman, leaving with the kids: Let’s go guys. Say bye bye to your mommies.

Troy/Achilles, waving: Bye bye!

Pyrrha, smiling and waving: Goodbye, we love you! Have fun and be safe!

Roman, waving: We will. See you later.

Pyrrha, smiling: Well the kids are gone now. So you know what that means we can do finally~

Cinder, smiling: Oh most definitely.

Pyrrha: Time to watch a bunch of bad horror movies!

Cinder, chuckling: Yep! Ill make the popcorn! Let's go!

*hours later*

Roman, walking down the street: Man, I can’t believe that Cindie doesn’t fully trust us with the kiddos yet.

Mercury: I know right. I mean, we’re great babysitters.

Roman: We’re the best! And we’re doing this for free too! She should be greatful!

Mercury: She really should! But no, she thinks we're nothing but idiots.

Roman: Tell me about it. We're not that dumb. We are actually very two smart men!

Mercury: You can say that again! Plus the kids love us! Don’t you guys?

Achilles/Troy:.........

Mercury, concerned: Hey, are you kiddos alright? Wait, did you guys change bags or something? *crouches down* What’s goin—.......

Roman, worries: What? What’s wrong? *crouches down* Do they have candy on their mouths or som— *gasps* O-oh my god.

*Roman looks and sees two confused kids wearing identical sheep costumes, but being completely two different kids, both of them being cat faunuses*

Roman, panicking: Oh my fucking god!

Mercury, panicking: Please tell me I’m going insane! Please tell me that I don’t see two cat ears on them right now! Tell me anything but—

Roman, nearly crying: Jesus Christ, we somehow mixed up kids! We got the wrong ones!

Mercury, voice cracking: Anything BUT that!

Roman: Oh my god! This can't be happening?! We just accidentally committed two kidnappings! How is this even possible?! How did we manage to do this?! The chances of this happening is comically and astronomically low! Oh fuck!! This is so stupid, even for us! Oh my god! This doesn't happen to normal people! This is like some three stooges level of stupidity! Cinder's going to kill is!

Mercury: Stop jumping to conclusion man! We might not die! Look, maybe....just maybe, Cinder might not notice if we show up with these two instead. L-like, we could dye her hair red and boom, it's essentially Achilles and Troy! That's possible, right?

Roman: NO, YOU DAMN IDIOT! WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU?! DID YOU SUDDENLY GROW SHIT FOR BRAINS OR SOMETHING?! FOR GOD SAKE, ONE OF THEM IS A GIRL! A GIRL WITH CAT EARS! HOW THE HELL ARE WE GOING TO CONVINCE THEIR PARENTS THAT THEYRE ACHILLES AND TROY?! AND WHAT ARE WE GOING TO DO WITH THESE TWO KIDS RIGHT HERE?!

Mercury: I DONT KNOW BUT STOP YELLING AT ME, IM GRASPING FOR STRAWS! I'M DESPERATE!

Roman: OH MY GOD! SHE’S GOING GO KILL US!!! SHE’S ACTUALLY GOING GO KILL US! WE’RE DEAD! WE’RE SO DEAD! OH CHRIST, WE NEED TO MOVE AWAY, FAR AWAY TO A PLACE WHERE SHE CANT FIND US! CHANGE IDENTITIES AND LOOKS! ROMAN AND MERCURY NO LONGER EXIST ANYMORE! WE’RE NOW GRAY AND YURI! GROW A MUSTACHE WHILE I GROW A GOATEE OR SOMETHING, I DONT FUCKING KNOW–

Mercury: GET A HOLD OF YOURSELF, MAN! WE GOTTA CALM DOWN! WE CANT JUST GIVE UP HOPE RIGHT AWAY! HOPE IS ALL WE GOT! LOOK, WE JUST GOTTA FIND THESE KIDS’ PARENT AND THEN WE’RE FIND OUR KIDS! OKAY?! ALL IS NOT LOST!

Roman: YOURE RIGHT! ALL WE GOTTA DO IS FIND THEM AND WE ARENT DEAD! YOU'RE BRILLIANT!

Mercury: Okay, uhm....Heya kiddos, uhm.....do you think you guys can show us to your house? You have any idea where you live?

One of the kids: *nods quietly*

Mercury: Yes yes yes yes! We aren’t going to die! We are going to survive! Okay, let’s go!

*meanwhile*

Pyrrha, eating popcorn: I honestly don’t understand why everyone in these horror movies are so dumb. Like, does common sense don't exist in these worlds?

Cinder, chuckling: How else are they supposed to die in these easily avoidable ways for our amusement?

Pyrrha, giggling: Yeah, I guess you’re right. But couldn't they just make the killer smarter?

Cinder: Yeah, but then they would have to put effort into the writing.

Pyrrha: *snorts*

*Phone rings in the kitchen*

Cinder, standing: I'll get it.

Pyrrha: Can you make some more popcorn while you’re at it?

Cinder, smiling: Yeah, hold on.

*Cinder walks into the kitchen and answer their phone*

Cinder: Hello?........Yang? Yang who? Oh wait, you’re one of Pyrrha’s friends, right?....oh, okay. How can I help you?........wait, slow down. You're talking to fast.......what do you mean your wife’s going to kill you if she finds out. What’s going on?......uh no, why would we have your kids?......a mix up? What mix up?.......why do you have Troy and Achil— OH MY GOD, I’M GOING TO KILL THEM!!!