#a bozo in the hand something two bozos I don't know I lost it

[etakeh]

I commented to someone today that now McConnell can die - his "who dies first" contest with Kissinger is over.

And it looks like I was not the only person to have this thought.

[bitchimasnake-sss]

"remember that time when-" ft. r.zoro!

ft. zoro x fem!reader

set-up: you're pms-ing and this man is your greatest friend and even greater enemy rn (but you know you love him); drabbles to soothe your delusional soul <3

warnings: none! very wholesome lol

-contrary to popular belief, this man actually knows what periods are (wow, the bare minimum!!!) - when he was younger, he had listened to kuina go on about being a woman and its disadvantages and all and i believe he thought she was talking smack (i mean at the end of the day, "a swordsman is just a swordsman") - so when 15 year old zoro stumbled across a library, he decided to waltz in and just pick up a random biology book to understand female anatomy (it happened one after the other, completely unplanned) - when i tell you his little fifteen year old pea-sized brain was blown away (he learnt way more than he probably should have) - (please i beg u he can read, trust me 😭😭) - but just because he knows its a thing doesn't mean he understands it. so, yeah, he actually does know what it is, he simply does not care - in his logic, he had bled multiple times and still always bounces back so like what's the big deal??? "what's the big deal? it's just blood" he's sipping on a bottle of sake, gulping down its remnants in a single breath when you had complained about cramps one evening "excuse me?" nami is ready to strike him down "i said its just blood" - nami did, infact, then strike him down - post-dating zoro still thinks its no biggie "oi, yn" he's poking your shoulder, "what's wrong?" "cramps" you grumble against the pillow he laughs, "ah, they'll go away, get up and get going now. don't sulk around, you're my fav ketchup packet" "tf did you just say?" "ketchup packet?" - you refused to talk to this man for the next two days - at the end of the second day, he had to write a formal apology (with chopper's help) and speak it out loud before you started entertaining his bullshit again - see the thing is this mf is reserved, superhuman and has an absurdly high pain tolerance so it's hard for him to sympathize exactly - he once caught you crying cause you had seen a mama chimpanzee kiss it's baby chimpanzee and hug it tightly and he will forever bring it up "zoro you remember that time you got lost in dru-" "yn, remember that time, we were passing through a jungle and you saw some chimp-" he ended up getting a sucker punch to the face he deserved it. - but just because words aren't his thing doesn't mean he isn't looking out for you - everytime you're laying there on the bed, unmoving, he'd wordlessly crawl into the bed next to you. he's give you a gentle back massage or start rubbing soothing patterns onto your belly "you want something?" he mumbles slowly, hands skimming softly over your waist - this man would not and i repeat absolutely would not allow you to do any physically demanding work though "hey, let me handle that" "zoro, i am not a child!" "you sure look like one to me." he snickers, "remember the time you saw that mom chimpan-" "zORO FUCK OFF!!" - you need something from the top shelf? he got it. you are helping ussop carry gunpowder from the storage? go sit down, your boyfriend's got it - does it sometime frustrate you? yes - does the crew use this opportunity to make his lazy ass do a fuck lot of chores? also yes - he will still 100% make ketchup jokes (he's gross like that) - but name one man who'll treat you more gently than this bozo, i dare you - it might be something as lame as a period, doesn't mean he woudn't go to the end of the world to make you feel slightly better (even if he teases you about it endlessly)

sanji's part <3 luff's part <3

[istherewifiinhell]

okay. heres what were all here for. tell me why the fuck im supposed to suck the dick of these uk comics

[ID: A man holding up an aged looking paper, with a medieval style drawing of a giant metal fire breathing man. He leans forward serious asking his son "... Did it look like this?" END]

marveltf story line, MAN OF IRON, 9-12 in the UK, or.... 33-34 in the us. alright lol do whatever i guess. first published in 1985

new vibe same procedure: Script: Steve Parkouse art: John Ridgeway (9-10) Mike Collins (11-12) Colours: Joise Fermin (9-10) Gina Hart (11-12) Nel Yomtov (US)* Letters: Richard Starkings Editor: Sheila Cranna and these caps are from the UK classics idw book so: Original Series Edits by Shelia Cranna and Ian Rimmer, editorial notes and assistance by James Roberts, Collection Edits by Justin Eisinger and Alonzo Simon, Collection Design by Shawn Lee (<- hey i know his work from turtles!)

*so the uk comics were part in colour and part B&W, to save costs... including the american reissues? printing costs i guess. but when reprinted in collected books, they would get the full colour treatment. whats not clear to me is WHO did those colours, its not listed anywhere i can find. ill simply have to assume its the same artists... and hope im not discrediting anyone....

AND ALSO the last page in this reprint apparently uses the US comic page, and i have a cap of that last page, so. Yomtov's in here too..... tf franchise the way u treat ur sacred texts breaks my turtles fan heart.

and lastly! the keen eyed may notice, we are back to toy accurate art, the character model designs haven't and wont make their way over until much later, I'm told.

well with all that perfectly convoluted business out of the way, lets explore what tfs is like across the pond.

[ID: The same man, Roy, driving as he thinks to himself "What kind of bozo would want to bomb the castle? The Saxon Liberation Front? The mind boggles…" END]

[spluttering laugh] so the humours a little different!

[ID: The boy, Sammy, climbing a tree, hand outstretched reaching for the arrow he lost. Standing, with his in the canopy is Jazz. Sammy yells in fear. END]

OKAY. so the vibes are little different

[ID: Caption Box: And the apparition was fearful, being a Man of Iron of great height and girth, seeming unheedful of quarrel, spear or sword…" The robot from the illustration, clearly transformer, but blockier, more retro scifi, standing in the middle of a medieval battle, men with chain-mail and swords looking at him with trepidation. Caption Box: The Man of Iron forded the stream at Eldric's Cross, making great strides for the abbey… and some brave souls followed, though none dared come too close…" Two of the fighters shown following him, a body shot with an arrow lays at the other side of the river. END]

damn okay. so the vibes are ALOT DIFFERENT

(no 10) sammy dreams

[ID: Sammy stands on a house rooftop, in his PJ's, looking down at the cobble street, where a seeker in alt mode rests. END]

[ID: Dark and moody art, a barely seen figure towers in the shadows over the residential houses. From a higher angle, its shown to be Mirage, he stands taking up the entire street, backlit and casting shadows. END]

WHAT THE FUCK. that is terrifying

(something about beautiful black inked art + toy model makes them so CREATURE)

[ID: Roy speaks to a man in army uniform. Roy: How large? Soldier: Well… ahh…at a rough estimate? About the size of an ocean-going liner. Roy: Whaat? Roy with a hand to his head in dismay: Well, for god's sake what is it? Solider: We don't know. I've called in extra men and we're going to excavate… END]

somethings! buried under the castle... gee well one wonders what it might be

[ID: Close on Jazz's alt mode dashboard, its filled with lights and screen of alien language. Hes saying: But I'm not a stranger, Sammy. Deep down, you know… don't you? You've been wanting an adventure all your life… Besides. I have something to tell you. Sammy looking doubtful. Jazz continues: Something really important. Sammy has a hand on Jazz's open door: Why not just sit for a while in the front seat? Just pretend you're driving… END]

JAZZ THATS KIDNAPPING BUD....

really get a kick outta this note in the printed version

[ID: REMEMBER: NEVER ACCEPT LIFTS FROM STRANGERS! TO BE CONTINUED! END]

(no 11)

[ID: Jazz speaks to Sammy on the road, a blue and white F1 car pulling up. "My name is unpronounceable in your language… so just call me Jazz! And that's Mirage right behind us!" Jazz takes a exit to a low road, a black camper truck driving alongside. "This is where we rendezvous with Trailbreaker. All set Sammy?" All three driving along, Sammy responds "Sure thing Jazz!" END]

[guitar riff] THE BOYS ARE BACK IN TOWN. im so glad all my good friends are here.

[ID: An fiery explosion engulfing Trailbreaker with a "Whaamf!". Wheels coming off, glass shattering, the truck top blowing to bits. Trailbreaker veering off road, a trail of fire and parts behind him calls out "Jazz! I'm hit... I'm hit BAD! END]

TRAILBREAKER NOOOO. who could have seen this coming...

[ID: Jazz narrowing swerving a missile. Exploding behind him, and speedlines trail him, and a wreath in flame around him. The colours are almost delicate, and a reflective glow in his paint. END]

wha. this just looks so cool.... what the hell....

[ID: Bluesteak, smiling speaking to comms "Autobot Bluestreak to patrol leader +++ Just brushed something off your tail, Jazz+++ try to be more careful in future, hmmm? Bluestreak out+" END]

being a cunt in the work slack. king

[ID: Jazz in profile, lit under the starry night sky, soft line-less colours defining the planes of his head in blue greys, and pitch black. To Sammy he says "Not really. It's a shuttlecraft… now stand back…" To comms "Autobot Jazz To Autobot leader+++ Approaching shuttle with Surveillance Subject+++ Request permission to board+++" END]

Wuh. Huh. Jazz u look so fucking cool right now?? And handsome.....

okay whats going on back at the castle (no 12)

[ID: The army soldier half sitting on a desk, holding a phone to his ear, the rotary cradle held resting on his leg. He's saying "IT's not just a question of scale, sir. We simply cannot identify it. END]

whys he kinda... apparently this style of uniform is called temperate barrack dress?? that answers none of my questions im just kinda... whyd u draw him like that tho...

[ID: A seeker, drawn in blues, walking between the ruins of the castle. Off panel someone says "It just seemed to appear from nowhere!" END]

bigfooting it up... AT A CASTLE. oh lads. im done for [blah blah he telePORTS and thats skywarps power but hes blue so WHO is it. dont worry abt it man. dont matter. they apparently change in the various times its been coloured, which is objectively funny imho. keep em guessing]

[ID: Moody and still illustrations of a robot identical to the Man of Iron in stasis, plugged into a bed of sorts. The ship around him is dark but for strips of coloured computer like lights in the walls and floor. Caption boxes narrate: Deep beneath the Autobots feet, in a sealed chamber, a special Autobot lay waiting… He was navigator, warrior and guardian of Autobot destiny… In his long, slow, machine world, a million years were as fleeting seconds. Human history had passed over him. Small inter panels. Mid on the Guardian: Locked in his dormant brain was the location of the planet Cybertron. He waited only to be re-activated, re-integrated with his mission… Restored to life. Close on the Guardian: His attendant was no more, the link between them severed. Laying in profile, just barely defined in the pitch black: Alone in the darkness he patiently beamed his signal. The same pattern of impulses… Waiting. END]

What the actual fuck (its even more somberly dramatic than just that)

[ID: Sammy, from a distance, staring at the castle. Caption Box: Autumn came, leaves fell. Sammy was a year older and a year wiser. He never saw Jazz again… Sammy asleep in bed, moonlight pouring through his paneled window. "But on clear, sharp nights, when stars glittered like needles and the night winds rattled his window… Then he slept a fitful, fearful sleep…" Sammy sleeping, with his dreams projected above him. "And the Man of Iron walked once more through his dreams." The End]

WHAT THE ACTUAL FUCK

um well. okay! thats. fucking crazy. and this is the only tf comic this dude ever did. okay... can u tell he was from the dr who comics...... it ALSO means this doesnt actually speak at all for what the rest of tfuk will be like. which is damn funny. LIKE WOW! THAT WAS CRAZY. anyways.

[celestie0]

🪷 CTFUUUUUU your gojo and reader sex tape post was so hilarious omg. Ngl to me they don't give the vibes of a couple that make one (I don't mean this as an insult omfg now that I wrote it it sounds rude as hell) but the type who are professional phone fuckers.

Doja cat's Cyber sex is their national anthem I just know it I had a little locker room talk with reader she told me 😙. And yeah what you said abt gojo's schedule being all over the place as a player I'd thought that too, which is why phone sex is 🔛🔝 for these two. Just two freaky frogs omg I know that dude sluts her out bad and she doesn't want it any other way

He's a player (the *other* type of player) too so ofc he'd have expertise in the area of tasteful nudes but reader's learning curve will be so exponential gojo would be left in the dust in a short amount of time😁 RIP BOZO‼️

Imagine a little roleplay scenario where reader dresses up as a cheerleader for gojo after he returns from winning some final match as a victory treat. That dong goes up at an angle of elevation so steep you could make a mean trigonometric question off of it. I need him BAD I need him esp when he's sweaty after a gym or practice session I'd climb that man like jack was climbing that beanstalk.

Anyway I hope you've been doing well sweets! Thanks for being so nice to me in your last ask and I cannot wait to see what you have in store for us I wanna see that horndog be his authentic slutty self around reader finally 🗣️🗣️

Imagine a little roleplay scenario where reader dresses up as a cheerleader for gojo after he returns from winning some final match as a victory treat.

oh dear sweet baby jesus the scream i SCRUMPT AT THIS…HOW HAVE I NEVER THOUGHT OF THAT oh mygooodd that’d be so fuckin hot 😩😩😩 i ran to add that to my notes LOL my head is in my hands i need to write that so fucking bad. HIM RAILING HER WHILE SHE’s WEARING A SKIMPY LIL CHEERLEADER COSTUME AFTER HE JUST PLAYED AN INTENSE GAME babe u cooked w this ty

HAHAHA i feel like they would make a sex tape but they obv wouldnt post it or anything lol it’d just be something they’d do when they’re both drunk asf while on vacation in their hotel room n then they freak out once they get home n realize they lost the flashdrive n someone out there in barcelona is now jerking off to their amateur avante garde porno

And yeah what you said abt gojo's schedule being all over the place as a player I'd thought that too, which is why phone sex is 🔛🔝 for these two. Just two freaky frogs omg I know that dude sluts her out bad and she doesn't want it any other way

okay you’re so right ab cyber sex being (at least post grad) kickoff couple’s anthem 🤧 that “i wish u were here rn” yup. but also LMFAO THATS SO TRUE AB THE SLUTTIN HER OUT he’d have her so downbad she’s flashing her titties at the webcam just cuz she wants to see him cum all over his stomach while he’s jerking himself off to her pixels ✋🏼😩 i was not anticipating to start this day off so horny LOL

idk i like to think all the nudes kickoff gojo has received in his life have been raunchy asf so when he’s so desperate to get a glimpse of kickoff reader while he’s away for work n is like “babe send me a pic please” for the first time n she sends something that’s genuinely really tasteful n artistic n subtle but sexy n leaves a bit to the imagination i feel like that wld drive him more insane than any explicit nude ever would HAHAHAHA

THE DONG GOIN UP YOU COULD PERFORM TRIG ON IT IM CRYING babe i wish to be half as funny as you are some day 🤣🤣

thanks my lovee omg im so happy you’re looking forward to it :””) 💕 you’re my honeybunch sugarplum pumpyumpyumpkin i love yaaa

- ellie 🐸

[theredhairedbastard]

I wanted to detail my experience with XP-Pen and trying to buy new nibs because it has been so dumb. and i want to vent about it because it has given me a headache.

So i lost track of my replacement nibs and the nib on my current pen has been loose for about 2 months now. And earlier today i was tapping my pen to the beat of the song i was listening to, and the nib was just suddenly gone.

After spending 15 minutes on my hands and knees trying to look for it i realized that it was gone for good this time. So fuck. Alright well, i guess i'll have to order more since i can't find the replacements that came with the tablet back in 2019.

So i try to amazon prime some replacement nibs, as much as i fucking hate the concept of giving jeffery bozos any of my fucking money. that two day shipping sounds way better then having to wait a month for replacements.

Wow these do not fucking look right, despite apparently being for my pen.

I'm not shelling out 25$ for a set of replacements that likely aren't going to work for my pen. so it looks like i'm going to have to go buy some from the manufacturer directly.

That's a lot of fucking options. That's fair, i guess they wouldn't make a new type of pen for every model. So instead of scrolling down to see if they had a way of finding out what kind of pen i had. i decided to look and see if the store page for my tablet said what kind of pen i have.

And i don't see a model number. Just "Battery-free Stylus"

Alright i'll just look up what Pens they have, and see which ones theyre for. and i narrow it down to two Pens.

Now obviously, its the PA2 pen, right? its for Artist 15.6 Pro, just like your model. Just pick that one. But what the fuck is that at the end.

V2!? WHat?! Where did the V2 come from. I go and check the page,

Just Pro, no V2. I even looked it up using wordsearch.

Theres no V2 here. So which Pen is it??? Is V2 one they sold recently??

I check their store page, Nope.

Also what is this red piece on the PA2, my pen doesn't have that. I'm checking my memories trying my best to remember if my pen came with that or not. or if its a separate piece you can take off. or something. But i guess thats not important since my pen doesn't have the black piece that the P05 has either

So i'm like "I got it, support will know. I'll call them." Their call center's bot tells me that they don't do phone calls right now (or something along those lines. the bot was really hard to hear for some reason.) and to press the green help button on their contact page for help.

Where? Are they closed?? its only 12pm. Well thats not going to help, And i really don't want to email them. Not for any good reason, i just don't want to do the back and forth and end up having a wait an extra day or two waiting for the nibs.

That's when i'm looking at the nibs to see if maybe i should just take the plunge and throw 20 bucks at nibs that might not work. and contact them during that period. Thats when i notice this.

The Pro IS the V2

WHY WOULD YOU DO THIS???? WHO ADDED V2 TO THIS PRODUCT BUT ITS ONLY THERE SOMETIMES!?

So i guess i'm buying the PA2 Nibs, and i'm hoping they work. Then hopefully i can start drawing again.

What a waste of an hour.

[madness-in-the-flesh]

Hear you like dark themes huh? Let me rub my hands together mischievously rq as I hand you this. Go as crazy as you want man. Also the Deimos and Gil prompts were peak perfection!

Reader knew Hoffnar for a long time, but was unbeknownst of his hidden obsession over them. But after taking a wellness check on him after the fall of Navada, they learn the hard way of what he's become. Hoffnar Tricky will no longer hide who he is. He only wants one thing right now and one thing only. Now Reader is running for their life through the lost city being chased by something undead, practically eldritch. It's all downhill the moment they took a wrong turn and find nowhere left to run.

Regardless of what you write I can't wait to see more of what you do!

Okay first off thank you !!!!!!! Hoping you enjoy my stuff in future as much as I love making it !!!!! +D and second, I am taking this request. Shoving it in between two slices of bread and eating it. Delicious. Thank you. Also if you mean by taking a wrong turn, You breaking your legs and being unable to escape. yes. wrong turn. Also, maybe got a LITTTLLLLE carried away and this is around 3195 words but shhh it's fine. I also apologize if this wasn't the stuff you wanted? I don't know I just kinda blanked and kept getting ideas. then deleting a part. then coming up with more ideas and re-writing, So eh, Not as happy with this as the other ones but regardless I hope you enjoy ! +)

Categorizing this under fics rather than a drabble. Or maybe all my drabbles class themselves as fics since I feel they're longer than what others consider drabbles? Idk if anyone has advice that would be appreciated <3 !!!!

Tricky - Run Rabbit Run

GENRE - Romantic

TRIGGER WARNINGS - Physical Violence, Gun Violence, Wounds, broken bones, Murder / implied Murder, Mention of controlling behaviour, Descriptions of gore, Heights / falling ( more so falling in this case ) - If you believe I've missed anything please let me know so I can add it

You wandered through the ruins of the once prospering city under the rule of Director Phobos. This place held both fond and lukewarm memories, mixing into a deep sense of nostalgia but that’s not the feeling you came for. No, you had your sights set on something a lot more important. 

Ever since the place had fallen to ruin, You’d been hiding out, searching from place to place without contact with any of your old colleagues until setting up your own little home away from everything. You just wanted to live a normal life, which you did. Well, as normal as you could in a place like Nevada. With the occasional Zed’s appearing and some agents here and there: You mostly stuck to yourself from growing your own food ( which was miraculous within itself ) and your limited self defence training, You were set. 

It never stopped the empty feeling of misery. You even began to doubt that the quote “ misery loves company ” held up. After all, Could your life be so Gloomy while your social life was so barren? So much so you’d begin talking to yourself as well as the photos that lined your wall. Mostly of your three colleagues. Dr Crackpot: Intense and confident, You couldn’t recall a dull moment with him but you also found it hard to keep up. Especially with his rivalry with Dr. Jebediah Christoff. Another man you grew close with while working with under the Nexus Core. He was but neither of those two were the closest. 

Dr Hofnarr. At first, He was timid and the two of you didn’t interact too much. You both stuck to yourselves until you both decided to have lunch with Christoff but according to him, You two would get along and oh boy, did you. After finding a similar interest in clowns: it was almost all the two of you would discuss. From Bozo the Hysterical and Slapstick Stanley: you’d take about anything slightly resulting among the jester-y. However, as things went on you discovered more about each other and the things you enjoyed outside of clowns. Soon enough you’d say the two of you were best friends: Something that you least expected from a job the ones put out by the Nexus Core. You never agreed with the inhumane and horrid things that happened but  kept up with it because in the end, it was you or them. Yet when you got a mysterious note from someone during office hours, a day before the city’s destruction telling you to run and never look back. You knew exactly who had sent it from the handwriting and why you needed to leave the city almost immediately and without question. You had put that much trust in Hofnarr.

Sure… he’d act weird sometimes towards you but you had always coughed it up to him either not fully grasping the appropriate social response. Then there was the time he had you transferred to work under him, a measly request but you just assumed he thought you were a good fit to help him with his job. That was all it could be, and it was nice working with a friend. Even if he could be semi-controlling to both you and others around you while working. Then according to Jeb, He never acted this way around other things, only with you. Each time though, you brushed it off, almost developing an equally horrible dependency on each other. But that’s all it was, a friendship ( to you, anyways ) that was nothing more than a mutual bond with no ill intent whatsoever. 

Part of you regrets leaving all the same, Maybe you just assumed that you’d encounter each other again whether it be here or the next life. Perhaps even in the other place. Either way, You still longed to be with the people you once saw as your buddies… Especially Hofnarr. You missed having the socially awkward but easily excitable colleague, always anticipating your next conversation but you suppose the next one would never come. You longed to one day hopefully see the way he’d light up as the two of you would meet up for your break. Those were good times… 

So much so you decided to throw away the advice he had given you and perform what would make most Nevadans grimace, especially when you had such a good thing going. Return to the city and perform a wellness check. Not that you knew the location of Hoffnar nor any of your old friends but it wouldn't hurt to try. 

You had the chance to get those back though and you refused to pass it up. So much so you managed to access a forgotten database.  Back in your time with the Nexus core, they had given all the “ important ” employees’ aka the scientists actually working on the distress signals Incase of an emergency which would be loaded onto a database to keep track, this was so that anyone went “ missing '' through their own means or taken hostage. Before leaving, You had removed it from yourself and left it in your office. You suppose it was another way for the director to be in control, Knowing where you were most of the time allowed for him to keep track and snuff out anyone he labelled suspicious. From what you’d read, a signal had been picked up in the city: A signal that you had assumed had been long lost. One that belonged to Hofnarr. The past week, Signals of Dr Hofnarr’s were sent out which read he was still in the. In different locations too which made you almost squirm with delight. Both Crackpot’s and Jeb’s hadn’t been sighted in years. 

You had barely been able to get everything together to head to the city to find him. Maybe he knew where the others were? Just as long as you didn’t have to sit and think about the alienation you felt in your own home. It was around a 3 day trip to the city, With rest. You chose to mostly travel at night, In hopes of avoiding the masses that inhabited the Nevadan wasteland and the A.A.H.W. You did! For the most part, You had a run in with some bandits around the border but nothing you couldn’t handle! You were surprised on how the blood and guts didn’t phase you anymore. Maybe if it were your own...

The brains splattered on the ground and all you could think was: “ Wow! I can’t wait to tell Hofnarr about what I’ve been up too”. Maybe if you had kept up-to-date with everything going on around you, rather than becoming a hermit with limited news. You might have even thought twice about stepping back into the city but alas, absence makes the heart grow fonder. The same could be said about the both of you. 

Checking the destination you’d marked on the map of the city, Colt 1911 secured in your hip. Your hands were shaky as hysteria ripped through you. Trying to keep yourself contained from all the excitement as you finally rounded the corner. Staring up at the eerily spray painted building. It’s like everything fell quiet when you did hear it 

The distant yells from bandits were no longer audible. The ripping of flesh that as Zed’s bit into whatever poor sucker stumbled across them and backed up by the things aching pleas to live. Not even gunshots whirred through the air: Just eerie, well placed silence. 

For the first time since you received that signal but not as long as you’d have liked to. Your pondering was cut short when the faint sound of a tune rang through the air. You perked up, looking around, cringing as it crept ever closer. You were in the middle of the street, no cover and hardly supposed you’d find some in the time whatever was making the melody would get here. All you had was the handgun on you. Pulling out the Colt 1911 and shoving the map back into your pocket. You awaited, staring off into the street’s opening. 

But the thing never came around the corner. Alternatively, you were greeted by the presence of the music right by your ears and a hot breath on the back of your neck, causing you to dart around. 

Your blood ran cold and heart rate quicken, a blanket of trepidation fell over you and did not let go. Bright red eyes stared out at you from the holes of the mask it wore, only inches from your face. Unmoving, and as redder than the Nevadan sky. You didn’t dare move but the grip on the gun grew more strained. Clammy palms clasping for anything to keep you anchored to the situations, You couldn't allow your mind to race in this sort of predicament. 

The most haunting thing is those cardinal eyes screamed of familiarity but you swore you’d remember such a sight. His skin was rotting away at the bone, A sign the person in front of you was no longer alive. Nevertheless, he wasn’t attacking you like the traditional Zed would nor making any move to harm you. The thing seemed to be studying you as you did it. Glancing down at the sign in the things hand, bloody. You were also sure you’d spotted pieces of flesh and brain tissue. The most obnoxious thing was the boombox playing what seemed like such a simple fun tune. Just what the fuck was this shit playing at?

You decide you've seen enough, Moving to take a step back but today was just full of surprises. You jolted as an ear piercing. It sounded like someone was scratching a record, Yet it was forming words as easily as you could. 

“ CLOWN KNOWS YOU !!! ” It beamed out, seemingly unphased by the fear written all over your face. You quickly decided you wouldn’t be dealing with it any longer, Pulling up the Cole 1911 and shooting it in the torse, almost emptying the ammo cartridge. Your hand was shaky, at least 3 of the 5 hitting: Which left 2 bullets in the chamber. The Red haired being was unphased and still standing, It didn’t even flinch as it was shot, rather, the clown just stared at you, holding your gaze until it looked down at its body. Pressing it’s hand in on the wounds, squirting the blood out of the laceration. Poking and prodding before looking back up at you. The thing began to go from twitching on occasion to convulsing violently with what you could only presume was rage. It leaked from the Zed and into the atmosphere around the two of you, Anger and tension so you wasted no time getting the fuck out of there. AS you turned and zipped around the corner. The music stopped with a thud and another blaring screech. 

You wasted no time, pulling the map you’d once shoved into your pocket and running through the empty streets. Even now the only thing you could hear was your footsteps and own breath, heaving as your feet pounded against the pavement. Not daring to look behind you. It’s like all life in the area had gotten the fuck out of there once they realized. You couldn't keep up with your own thoughts since apparently this clown could outrun them too, pulling up your side as the clown’s legs outran your own: Long and almost cartoonishly stretching along the pavement beside you. You didn’t waste time attempting to once more shoot the clown, but both shots missed as the whiplash caused by the gun as it fired caused your aim to fly back too. Without much thought, You smacked the thing square in the head, bashing it’s head and causing it to trip. You huffed as it stared back at you, still running and taking the left as planned. Spinning around the corner and gazing at the apartment building to your right. 

You didn’t stop as you turned down the alleyway and rushing up the steps leading to each apartment's patio and then to the roof. You pulled yourself up each one and looked down for a moment to see where the clown was, hoping to have lost the thing by running up the building. Instead, you caught sight of a sign tearing through the ground: The same sign that the clown had been holding. It seemed to pop it’s head out and stare at you from below. You flinched as the clown pointed at you, beginning to screech once again. 

“ haha fuck you ” you said to no one in particular but with no haste as you continued upwards and onto the roof of the building. That’s… what sort of thing is able to do that? Nothing you’d known of. Grabbing to take another look towards the map then up, Making the route in your head.

If you jumped a couple buildings over, You’d be able to possibly be able to climb down another’s fire exit and make it to the sewer. Seeing it as a lot safer than travelling on the surface with whatever this thing happened to be on your tale. Sure, You wouldn’t have a clue where you were going but via working of the map: You’d probably be able to decipher where you would roughly be. You didn’t get your degree for nothing, after all. 

You couldn’t contemplate the plan for much longer though, as you watched the shadow appear over your head and crawl across your sight from behind: You shoved the map back into your side bag and whipped your head around to see the thing around 6 ft off the ground and above you. You broke into a jog, cursing loudly as you felt yourself stumble as you got to the first ledge. It wasn’t a far jump but falling would definitely result in a nasty injury. One you didn't need right now. You leaped, For a second, You felt yourself falling, arms flying up . No ground keeping you in place, almost floating. But gravity pulled you back down, accompanied by the loud thud. 

Stumbling once more, you continued to run across the next rooftop, being careful not to . You made sure not to look behind you: On the verge of a breakdown at how stressed your mind was with all the clown had made, defying every physics was gnawing your brain into possible mush but you had to push forward, You could think about the fact of a flying murder clown later, now all that mattered was how far you could jump between buildings. Skidding onto the side of a ledge and turning, You ran up the side and sprung once more. You continued for another two buildings before there was any comeuppance. You jumped, however upon misjudging just how much air you would have needed to jump, it caused you to land and fall against the building. 

You quickly scuffled and gripped onto the building's edge. Clawing at the cornice as you panicked. You held on as tightly as you could, looking around for anything that could help. Only to be greeted by the thing that had been chasing you, Jolting out of shock. It was now above you glancing at your fingers only to look back at you. The colour drained from your face as you knew exactly what this fucker was planning 

“ Don’t you FUCKING dare! ” You felt yourself yell at it, Only for it to tilt it’s head innocently. Like a child who’d been plotting a mischievous deed for the day, except this wasn’t innocent in the slightest. The feeling of the clown putting it’s hands on yours, The feeling of it’s skin was cold, deprived from all signs of life but from this angle: You could catch how it looked from under the mask. 

From the gore, you could tell it was missing the skin from it’s mouth, Cheeks and lips torn clean off but the teeth weren’t damaged at all. When alive, they were clearly kept in good condition. Something glossy caught your eye before you could fully let the creature help remove all your fingers from the ledge. You froze up, staring in absolute horror as you soon came to realise just who the man before you is… or was… You didn’t think there was a semblance left of him now. Could there be when he’d most likely been alone for so long? Well there was one, unbeknownst you were that one piece. There person with his twisted mind never failed to forget. A root to a problem 

“ Hofnarr… buddy? ” You spoke, choosing your words carefully but it was too late. The thing had picked off all your fingers and you began to fall. It felt just like how it had been a split second except now the ground wouldn’t catch you for 1 second more. You couldn’t find the words to scream out of fear. The man you’d missed for what felt like decades, was right in front of you and you didn’t even pick up on it until you were literally dangling of the edge of a fucking building. Staring up at Hofnarr as you felt yourself tearing through the air. Even once you landed, a sickening crack in both your legs and your head slamming back into something hard. The ground wasn’t as fucked as you thought it would be. 

Finally finding your lungs as you screeched in pain as the ringing in your head began. You couldn't even think about looking down to where your legs were broken, bone out of place and piercing through the skin and beginning to bleed. The back of your head was already moist with your own plasma and it hurt to think. You shook as well as finding it hard to breathe, your brain partly fuzzy but filled with that pulsating ringing. You couldn’t focus on anything but the pain. Barely registering the fact that the remains of Hoffnar jumped down from the building and was slowly making his way over to you. Humming the tune that was playing earlier to himself. You whimpered and cried, unable to do anything else. 

You suppose whatever grunt that had placed so many bin bags filled with rotting rubbish wouldn’t have guessed it would be saving a life, But part of you was glad. Another part of you wished that your brains had been splattered against the concrete. Still, you suppose that maybe he wouldn’t have let you fall if he didn’t know about it. Or would he? 

You couldn’t tell but you could hear the soft giggles of your used-to-be friend, Cuddling next to you in the bin pile, snuggling into you. Almost purring into your neck. You didn’t have the strength to fight him off, Just laying and trying to process the pain as well as the fact that the man now cradling you like a baby, was your old pal Hofnarr.

“ Mine… You are MINE!! ” The voice called out, Still scratchy and unbearable to the ears. It only caused the pain to get worse, whimpering as the clown continued to nuzzle and purr into your neck. 

You were fucked.

[inactiveaccount73]

I Need My Girl

Jason Todd x fem!reader/ (Slight) Garfield Logan x reader

Inspiration: Song: I Need My Girl by The National

Summary: The reader (Jason’s crush) pushes him out of the way to save him. The reader goes to hospital and while Jason’s and the rest of the Titans are waiting for any news Jason’s guilt eats him alive.

Warnings: One swear word, angst, fluff, first kiss as a couple, reader almost dies, Jason crying cause he’s my baby and I don’t want him to cry but I make him cry anyway and I should really make a happy thing with Jason but I just don’t ???

“Jason look out!” She shouted pushing him away mere seconds before she took the blast. Everything froze and Jason couldn’t hear himself scream but he felt it. The burning of his throat like he’d swallowed a wildfire slowly turned to coal that weighed in his stomach as he made his way to her. He fell to his knees and pulled her softly so that her head rested on his thighs. He just stared at her with blurry eyes that seemed to her blurrier. That’s the last thing he remembered before he was waiting in the hospital.

Dick, Rachel and Kori sat on the scratchy and uncomfortable hospital chairs. While Jason and Garfield paced around the waiting room.

"Guys could you please sit down you're making me more nervous." Rachel said as her head was in her hands.

"No we can't. Look I'm sorry Rach but I'm not going to sit down. I can't. I can't-" Garfield put a shaky hand through his green hair as he let out an even shakier breath. Kori stood up and made him sit down.

"Why is no one saying anything?! Jesus Y/n could be dying or dead because of me and no one-" Jason shouted

"Jason don't talk like that." Rachel muttered, eyes brimming with fresh tears.

"But it's the truth." Jason countered

"Would you two shut it." Dick said. Everyone jumped that was the first thing that Dick said since they'd been in the waiting room.

“No Dick I’m not shutting up. Y/n is one of us. If she wasn’t so fucking selfless then I would be in the hospital bed that she’s in and to be honest I’d trade places with her in a heartbeat. I’m not bothered about people dying. People die everyday but I don’t want her to die today." Jason got up and walked off. The cold air bit him but he couldn’t care less. His mind was whirling. Why him? Why did you save him? Out of all the team why would you save him? He didn’t have powers like Kori or Raven or Gar. He was a shadow to Dick. He knew he’d never be what Bruce wanted him to be. Bruce wanted him to be like Dick but he wasn’t.

I can't get my head around it

I keep feeling smaller and smaller

I need my girl

After what felt like eternity one of the nurses came.

"Excuse me are you all here for Y/n Y/l/n?" A nurse said everyone looked at her.

"Yes we are. Is anything wrong?" Kori asked. The nurse smiled warmly

"No nothing's wrong, your friend is lucky to have survived that." Garfield nervously chuckled putting his hands behind his head and resting on the back of the seat

"Yeah she is a lucky charm."

"You're free to see her now." The nurse informed them, everyone got up quickly.

"I'll go get Jason." Kori said everyone nodded as she went out the door to find him.

***********

Beep. Beep. Beep. The sound of a heart monitor was the sound that filled her ears as she woke up slowly. Y/n slowly blinked and groaned at the light. As her eyes adjusted she could make out three figures; Garfield, Dick and Rachel. Her voice was hoarse.

“Where’s Kori and Jason?”

"Kori went to find Jason. He couldn't handle it." Rachel said her chin length bon was slightly messy. Guilt filled Y/n. Y/n and Jason has always been close since she’d first joined the Titans. She’s seen sides of Jason none of them ever would. She didn't even want to think about what could've happened if she hadn't of made it. She shook her head.

“You have no idea how happy I am that you survived.” Dick spoke she chuckled slightly.

“You and I both Dicky.” They smiled at each other.

“Y/n/n." She heard a voice say barely above a whisper, the team made way for Jason as he hugged her.

"C'mon guys lets leave Jason and Y/n for awhile. Glad to see you’re better Y/n." Kori said. Everyone left but Garfield cast one last look at Y/n before Kori gave him a quick, swift kick in the shin. He let out a soft groan before leaving. Jason and Y/n laughed. They both nodded in thanks. She returned the gesture before walking out.

"I'm guessing the team have already said how glad they are to have you back." Jason said

"Yeah." There was a silence. "Rachel told me how you couldn't handle it." Her voice was sympathetic. Jason chuckled as a few tears streamed down his face. Y/n laid a hand on his cheek and he nuzzled into it.

"I am sorry you know. I thought I'd be stronger but when the doctors weren't telling us anything it hit me like a truck that I might be losing my best friend and when I thought I'd lost you. You have no idea how scared I was when I thought I would never be able to tell you how much I-" Jason cut himself off before he went any further. He stuffed his hands in his jean pockets and broke eye contact. Y/n raised a questionable eyebrow but said nothing.

“Now you know how I feel when you get hurt.” Jason chuckled “besides it’s gonna have to take a lot more than that to finish me off. I am a Titan after all.”

"To right you are. No wonder your nickname’s lucky, you've always been lucky you know ever since you came into my life I feel like it’s become a better place.”

“I know Jay.” The air was filled with a comfortable silence except for the beeping.

“Jason.” He hummed “what were you going to say before you cut yourself off?” Jason looked like he’d just been caught doing something he shouldn’t of been doing.

“You know the usual sappy stuff when you nearly lose someone.” He said taking his hands out of his pockets and using one to rub the back of his neck.

“So say it.”

“Huh?”

“Say the sappy stuff that people say when they nearly lose someone.” There was a mischievous glint in her eye and Jason chuckled.

“Fine. Y/n Y/l/n I couldn’t imagine my life without you. Everyday you make my life a better place and I feel so much happier with you by my side.”

“No offence Jay but that sounded more like a marriage proposal and you can’t propose without dating a girl gees Jason.” She said laughing. He grabbed her face and pushed his lips to hers. They moved in sync as she grabbed his wrist. They broke apart and Jason opened his mouth "I feel the same bozo don't worry." He smiled.

"Which is why I've decided on something that will keep you out of harms way. You're never going on a mission again unless you're with me," Jason told Y/n in a half joking, half serious tone.

"Well you are the reason I’m in here anyway. But if I don't go how am I supposed to help you out. The whole team knows you never think of a plan." Jason laughed.

"So you never look behind you. Is there a reason for that or did you just do it?" Y/n shrugged.

"I guess if I look back then I'm scared I'm gonna get lost in the past and I won't be able to do anything 'cause I'll be stuck there. I’ve been stuck in the past for to long and I need to change it but no matter how much you want to change something in the past it's stuck there now forever and there's nothing you can do about it. " Jason was left speechless he never though there would be an actual reason as to why she never looked back. It scared Jason how she never had any emotion in her when she said that or in her face. "Besides I didn't want to see how far you were behind me." She added with a light laugh.

“More like how close I was.”

"Yeah right. I was faster than you and you knew it." They both laughedz

"Sir I'm sorry but visiting hours are almost over and Miss Y/l/n will need to get some rest." Jason nodded and pressed a long chaste kiss to the crown of Y/n’s head.

“Soon as your out of here I’m taking you on a date.” He whispered

“Can’t wait.” She whispered back and Jason broke out into a boyish grin. She chuckled. “Right go come on Jay I need my beauty sleep.”

“Trust me baby you really don’t.” She blushes and Jason chuckled. "See you tomorrow.”

“Bye handsome.” He excused himself past the nurse and towards the team.

"Do you know how long she's gonna be in here for?" Garfield asked Jason shook his head. Garfield’s demeanour slumped.

“I hope it’s not long though I’ve got to take her on a date.” Jason said everyone stared at him wide eyed. Garfield lightly punched his shoulder and Dick ruffled his hair.

"We'll visit her everyday though." Rachel said

"For sure." Jason said

"Let's get going." Kori suggested the team hummed in agreement before walking out of the hospital where Y/n wouldn’t be in for much longer.

[wildcatofgreen]

"Y'know how to get outta this place?"

The younger wildcat turned on her heel, from walking backwards to forwards, putting her hands in her pockets. "Of course! I am the Cattlesphere Champion, after all--"

Cory stifled a laugh, "Cattlesphere, sis?"

Oh. She didn't even notice. "I meant Battlesphere, obviously." She got in front of Cory, walking backwards again to face her, "I work here!" She said, triumphantly. "I could tell you where Kalaw kept his secret stash of cash if I wanted to."

"I thought you were a part-timer? And--wait, wait, secret stash of cash?"

"Well," she rolled her eyes, "It's all fake, of course. It's always named after the last Battlesphere Champ, as a potential uhhh, come back thing? Like wrestling," she points at her sister, "Y'know when someone's REAL BAD and they gotta play up their part and stuff? It's kinda like that."

"Sis I have never watched a minute of wrestling in my life."

"Awh man, you too? Lilac could never get into it."

The two of them kept up their idle chatter, until they met the end of the corridor. And immediately, Carol realized something.

Her voice dropped to a whisper, "Wait."

"What--"

"SHHHHHHH," she put a finger on her sister's mouth, peering around the corner afterwards. Now, where the hell was--there. She spotted the bat reporter, idly listening to some bystander--her name is Claire, right?--going on about their day or something. Stones know her and the cameraman must be bored to their skulls.

She started to gaze around further--oh stones why is she in front of the exit. Why do things just have to get harder and harder.

The younger groans, coming back inside the corridor and pinching the bridge of her nose.

"What, Carol?" Cory was whispering this time, at least. She can be thankful for that.

"Maria Notte."

"The reporter girl?" She saw the gears turn in her sister's brain, before she pinched the bridge of her nose much like her younger sister, acommpanied by a similar groan.

"Yup. How we doin' this?"

She didn't respond, not immediately. It looked like her senior was lost in thought, analyzing their situation. Then, she started taking off her coat, followed by her pa--

"HEY," she whispered, yelled, "WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU DOING."

"Calm down, I'm wearing a jumpsuit." The brown bits of her pants were just a stylish addon, apparently. She had on a full black bodysuit, made out of... Carol could only guess, cotton? Who wears that? Cory took off her goggles, locket, and gun as well, handing it all to her little sister.

"Put all that shit in my jacket, tie it up like a bag, distract the reporter. I'll sneak out once you got them locked down," she walked to the end of the corridor herself, peeking out, "Where's the exit?"

"She's standing next to it."

"Of course." She came back around. "Try to lead them away from it, I guess? Make it snappy, we don't have time to be fucking around."

She held the items in her hands, looking down at how... intimidating they were. It's mostly the gun. Very much mostly the gun. She looked back at her sister, unsure, "You think that'll all work?"

"If it doesn't then we're fucked beyond belief. Unless you got any ideas, sis?"

Now it was her turn to think. Could there be a better option? She looked around, trying to find anything that could help them. Nothing but Zao, Zao merch, Zao music, and whatever else the Battlesphere sold--wait.

She put a hand to her ear, walking deeper into the corridor.

"Sis, what are you doing?"

Come on, pick up you bozo. Does Libbie help you take a nap, too--

"Whaaaaaat," there was a very annoyed, tiny man, on the other line, "I'm TRYING to have my ~beauty sleep~, wildcat!"

Well, there's that question answered. "Zao, can you do me a favor, real quick?"

"No."

"I DIDN'T EVEN SAY WHAT IT WAS!"

"SIS, QUIET DOWN!" Cory's panicked whisper-yell reminded her of the situation. Shiiiiiit.

She heard him say... something. But she couldn't hear it over Corazon. "Sorry, what was that?"

"I SAID, that you and your little BOYFRIEND have already asked TOO MUCH OF ME! My beautiful FINANCES are going down the DRAAAAAAIN."

"Fiance. And I'll take no pay for a month if you do this."

"Okay I'm listening." He didn't take a second more to turn around, "This call is being rec--" EW, EW, EW, OW, OW, OW.

She covered her ear, turning to look at her sister, who was currently flicking ear wax off of her finger. "You ain't doin' that."

"Did you have to do that????" So gross...

"Didn't wanna argue. You are not doing that."

"Cory--"

The mercenary furrowed her brows, stepping to her younger sister with her fists balled, "I don't care if we both get thrown in jail for a decade, I ain't having my baby sister desperately scrounge for cash for a fucking month, not when you've got so much shit to look forward to. I am not letting you throw all of that away just to get back to Shang Tu in ''one piece'', you fucking got that?"

"But Cor--"

"I wasn't asking."

She was dangerously livid. Stones know that if that fucking rat actually let her go through with that... She instinctively went for her gun, but then remembered Carol had it.

The younger wildcat just, blinked. She was shocked, to say the least. And right now, they were still bleeding time. They couldn't focus on this right now, not when getting to Shang Tu was still so important.

So, she shrugged.

"Guess that's my plan out," she bent down, neatly placing Cory's items on the inside of her coat. She'd zip it up and, using the pants as a kind of makeshift handle?, put it on her shoulder. She walked back to the corridor's end, "I'll make a really bad pun when we're ready, okay?"

Cory stayed silent. Guess that's good enough of a confirmation as any.

The younger wildcat cleared her throat, then walked into the open air of the Battlesphere. She deliberately walked past Maria, who immediately seemed interested in Carol way more than Claire.

"Carol Tea! Savior of Avalice--some say twice over--how are you doing today?"

She faked a smirk, "Oh, me? I'm doin' perfect, really. Just another day as the B.S. champ, no biggie." She'd walk over to a nearby table, sitting at a chair and putting her feet up at it. She put the ''bag'' on the table as well, it surprisingly still keep it's shape.

"Great to hear! If you have the time, we'd like to ask a couple questions," Maria motioned her cameraman to follow her, following Carol's tail.

Away from the exit. That was way easier than she thought it'd be. She couldn't help but show a grimace.

"Ms. Tea? Are you alright?"

"Huh? Yeah no, I'm fine!" Smirk came again, "Honestly, I'm catceptional, right now!" That one was garbage, by her standards. She kept her mouth shut, keeping herself from groaning.

And in an instant, her big sis lept across the Battlesphere floor, rolling out of the exit door.

Maria was saying something, but Carol interrupted, "I am on a time limit today, though. Gimmie two real good questions and that's it."

The reporter frowned, putting both her hands at her hips. "Alright then, Miss Tea. First question!

"Why does your bag look like clothes?" She held her microphone to Carol's face.

She tried really fucking hard not to groan. Stones damn it.

[spooky-muldy]

Emoji Movie Script

Here it is, Spanish version and other languages coming soon:

The world we live in. It's so wondrous, mysterious, even magical. No. No, not that world. I meant this one. The smartphone. Each system and program and app is its own little planet of perfect technology, all providing services so necessary, so crucial, so unbelievably profound. Look who just sent me a text. Addie McAllister? Must be a mistake. Or a joke. Or a scam. Don't send her your Social Security number. Dude. She's right there. That's our user, Alex. And, like every freshman in high school, his whole life, everything, revolves around his phone. And, as the pace of life gets faster and faster... Phones down in five. And attention spans get shorter and shorter and... You're probably not even listening to me right now. Who has the time to type out actual words? And that's where we come in, the most important invention in the history of communication... Emojis. That's my home. Textopolis. Here, each of us does one thing, and we have to nail it every time. The Christmas Tree just has to stand there all festive. Merry Christmas. It's still September, Tim. The Princesses... I am so pretty. They just got to wear their crowns and keep their hair combed. You guys, we are so pretty. Devil, Poop, Thumbs Up. They just show up, and they're good to go. But for the faces, the pressure is on. Crier always has to cry, even if he's just won the lottery. Hooray! I'm a billionaire! The Laugher is always laughing, even if he's just broken his arm. I can see the bone! Now, me, I'm a Meh. So I got to be totally over it all the time, you know, like, "Meh, who cares?" Which is not as easy as it sounds. Morning, Mrs. D. I see you have the little minis with you. They're so cute. That is so adorable, I can't take it! Now I'll never get them to sleep. Stick to your one face, weirdo. No! No! It's hard to always act blase, when living in Textopolis is just so exciting. Hello, good simians. Those are some sharp attaches. Yes, well, we have business to attend to. What kind of business? Monkey business. I sounded British! Meh. That was really good. Meh. Meh. That was a great... -Whatcha doing there, mate? -Practicing. Today is my first day on the phone. Boy. I'm gonna be so meh. What are you gonna do? Me and the boys are gonna throw ourselves on the barbie! Here's my sauce now. G'day, mate. Hey. Konnichiwa. Sorry, emoticons! I hate knocking over the elderly. Here, let me help, let me help. My colon! Is that the time? Hey, my eyes are up here, pal. Yeah! All right! Right on time. So, last week, Alex sends me next to this guy. That kid! Where does he get this stuff? Why are you laughing, freak? Now, unlike me, my parents are total pros. Gene, please tell me you weren't laughing just now. In public. He was. I remember. Let's go somewhere more private. I have some bad news, Gene. And I'm afraid you'll have the wrong reaction. Okay. What's the wrong reaction? Anything other than "meh." Come on. I don't want to be late. I'm not letting you go to work today. Wait, what? You're just not ready, son. Come on! Working in the cube is an emoji's whole purpose in life. Everybody my age is working on the phone except for me. Sweetie, that's not true. Yeah! I'm gonna work on the phone, and I'm only 10. That's because I believe in you. Should we wash our hands? No, no, no. We're number two! We're number two! We're number two! See? I... I know I'm different, okay? But when I need to, I can be meh. I just... I want to be a working emoji, you know, like... Like everybody else, and then... Then I would finally fit in, you know? You fit in, honey. No, I don't, Mom. I never have. But I can change all that if you'd just let me. Just give me a chance. But what if you get sent out on the phone, making the wrong face? No, Dad, I'll make the right face. Look. Meh... You're so handsome when you make that face. I think he's ready, Mel. Meh. Come on, Dad. Let me prove it to you. If you really think you're ready. I am! Yes! Yes. I promise, I won't let you down. Stop. Congratulations, everyone! What an exciting day for all of you. It's really her. Pizza! Hey! Your first day on the job. Hi. Hi. Don't be nervous. I won't bite. Hi. I'm Smiler. Don't touch me. Hi! Okay. I mean, hey. As you know, I'm Smiler. I am the system supervisor here because I was the original emoji. Here's how it works. It's nothing fancy. Wait a minute. It's really fancy! You each have your own cube on the emoji bar. If Alex chooses you, should you be so lucky, your cube will light up. It's showtime. The scanner will scan you, and that scan will get sent right up to Alex's text box. And let me tell you, guys, there is nothing like getting scanned for the first time. You're gonna love it. Really. Now, over here is the favorites section where you'll find all the most popular emojis. And, of course, you'll find my cube here. You are smooth. Just doing my duty. What? What did I say? Rocket looking to party. Come on, tell me you aren't just a little bit tempted. Steven, for the last time, I don't want to buy a time-share. Come on, man, it's Hi-5. You know me, I'm a favorite. Alex hasn't picked you in weeks. And if he stops picking you, you're no longer a favorite. It's got to be some sort of mistake. I mean, look at me, I'm an attractive hand giving a high five. Fist Bump. Come on in. Hey. Fist Bump? He's a knucklehead. Literally. Look at him. I can look like that. Cramp. Huge mistake. Help. Help me. Help up the hand. There you go. Thanks, mate. Hey, little Meh, how about you create a distraction, and then I'll just slip under the rope? Is someone lost? Smiler, hi. Just leaving. Yeah, you know, just killing time before I go back to my cube in the far corner where Alex can't even see me anymore! You may not be a favorite anymore, but you will always have a place in the cube. Yeah, in the nosebleeds. I'm standing right here. Words hurt. The most important thing I can tell you is to just be yourself. Blah. I was made to be happy, so I am always smiling. Places, please. Emojis to your cubes. Attention. We've got incoming. Got to be meh. Got to be meh. My gosh, my own cube. I can't believe it. I could put a plant over here. And over here could go an inspirational calendar. Okay. Got to be meh. Got to be meh. Look at our son down there. I'm just beaming with pride. You don't think he'll actually get picked, do you? Hie-ro-gly-phics. Hieroglyphics was an ancient language of picture forms. Does that remind anyone of anything? Hello? A language of pictures. Anyone? Early hieroglyphs date back as far as 3,300... I got to reply to Addie's text. What should I write? Nothing. Words aren't cool. Okay. Be cool. Be cool. All right, Alex is not sure how he wants to play this. I would really love it to be me. Beam me up! Beam me up! I need Thumbs Up on standby. Yeah! Thumbs Up is going in! Wait! Alex is changing his mind. He's moving. Okay. Looks like it's gonna be Meh. I'm so nervous, I could almost shrug. We are go for Meh. Initiating scan. Okay. You can do this. I can't do this! I can't do it! What is this? Stop the scan! I can't! It's too late! Meh, meh, meh, meh. My goodness, I'm freaking out! What's he doing? He's making the wrong face! Good for him! Little... Wait, what? Be meh! Be meh! Be meh! Abort! Abort! Shut it down! Shut it down! What is that emoji? Wrong emoji sent! Evacuate the Meh cube! Evacuate the cube! I got to get out of here. Get that bozo out of there! I'm trying! No! My God. The humanity. Medic. Sorry, everybody. That was not what I meant to do. I kinda... I kinda panicked. Are you even a Meh at all? Course he is. He's my spitting image. If you have expressions other than meh, what you are is a malfunction. Malfunction? No! I can be meh. Just give me one more chance. That's not gonna happen. You know what would be really fun? A board meeting. Where we could figure out what to do with you! I knew there was something wrong with him. A malfunction? What's gonna happen to him? He can't work on the phone. What would Alex think? What do his parents think? I just wanted to be useful, you know? Fit in. Now everybody thinks I'm a malfunction. I am a malfunction. Even if you are a malfunction, Gene, your mom and dad still love ya. I knew you weren't ready. Let's get you out of here and take you home. One day, all this will blow over, and everyone will almost forget about what you did. Until then, you should probably stay locked up in the apartment. Wait. You want to hide me away? You're embarrassed of me. It's for your own safety. We're trying to protect you, son. Gene? Where are you going? I'm not gonna run away from this. I'm an emoji, and even though I'm not sure exactly which one, I've got to have some sort of purpose here. I know it. Gene, no. Sweetie, please. Boy. A malfunction... Order! Order! The motion is carried. So, how'd it go, Gavel? Hey, Light Bulb, tell me what's going on in there. What? Poop, what is it? Tell me, turd. Tell me true. What happened? I know it was an accident. We all have accidents. You're so soft, Poop. Not too soft, I hope. Gene! We were just gonna come looking for you. Why don't you come inside the boardroom, and we can have a teeny, weeny chat. Um, I came up here to defend myself, but you seem pretty happy. So, good news? Right. I'm always happy. Right. Hashtag truth. Well, the only thing that could ever make me unhappy is if one of our emoji team made a mistake, which caused Alex to lose faith in the phone. And then our whole world gets wiped out. Smiler, I double-pinky-swear promise to you that I will never, ever make a mistake in the cube again. We know you won't, Gene. We know you won't. You know, the first time you said it, it sounded genuine, but then you repeated it, and then, that was weird. That's because we're setting you up with our best Anti-Virus Bots. So, they'll like... They'll just... They're gonna fix me? Actually, delete you. But yes! If you get deleted, you don't have to worry about what your purpose is or the future or why you're such a malfunction. 'Cause you're deleted, right? All right, good talk. Bots! No! Don't let him escape! Party time! Wait a minute... The air is better here. Beer, Tea. I'm Coffee! Sorry. Sheesh. So edgy. My old cube. Take a hike, Mike. -My name's not Mike. -What? There's AV Bots coming! For me? Just because I'm in the wrong section? Holy deleto! What do we do? Quick! This way! Let's go. Don't tell anyone you're about to see this. They'll never find us down here. Where are we? The basement? No. Welcome to the Loser Lounge, where the emojis who never get used hang out. Go fish, Fish Cake With Swirl. Sweep so you won't cry. Sweep so you won't cry. Sweep so you won't cry. I almost got deleted. Me, Hi-5. Hey. What's up, Hi-5? They weren't trying to delete you. They were trying to delete me. You? What's so important about you they'd send out an entire team of Bots? They say I'm a malfunction. You bringing malfunctions in here now, Hi-5? For crying out loud, Abandoned Luggage, that had better not be my leftover Chinese food. What Chinese food? Do you have any idea what it's like to be living large, hashtag blessed, the favorite of the favorites, and then demoted to this pit of despair? Here, will you hit my calluses for me? At least you're a working emoji. That's all I ever wanted. Well, if that's all it'll take for you to be satisfied, then just find a hacker and get reprogrammed. It's not that complicated. Where would I find a hacker? In the Piracy app. Duh. Who took my clear nail polish? Piracy app? To get there, I mean, I'd have to leave Textopolis. So? I've done it. Would you be a brother? One of the Princess emojis left the phone altogether. Now she lives on the cloud. That is good. I'm sure the hacker that helped her do that could easily reprogram you. The name's Jailbreak. Jailbreak? That's great! Reprogrammed. I just need to be reprogrammed, and then, I can finally be the Meh I was meh to be. Help me find that hacker, Hi-5. Will you? Please? Maybe this hacker could help you, too. Like rewrite some code, get you into the favorites section. Wait a minute. I've been trying to use my charisma and sense of entitlement to get me back on top, but all I need is a hacker. Today's your lucky day. Let's roll. Hey, can I come, too? Talk to the hand, Red Wagon. I thought I was. Bye, Felicia. Ciao, Fish Cake with Swirl. Daddy's heading back to the VIPs where he belongs! Wait. What about the Bots? Good point. Good point. Ouch! Hey. I shouldn't have picked the cactus. I just... I shouldn't have picked it. You didn't even try to get the tree. It's baffling. Let's go. Hi-5? Hello? Hi-5? Where are you? I'm right here! Gene! Here we are, end of the text app. No way. Come on, Gene. It's perfectly safe. Gene, help me! The wallpaper monster's got me! No! Hold on, hold on! Hi-5! No. This is all my fault! I'm so sorry, Hi-5! I'm... I'm just messing with you. It's one of those rubber finger-monster puppets from the '80s. I collected the whole set. All right, you coming? What do I do? What do you mean? Just take a step through the other side. This is it. The next time I come back here, I'll be a real Meh. Hi-5? No! Are you finished? Where are we? Welcome to the Wallpaper. This place is incredible. Each app is its own unique world. That's my face. You're on my... Thank you. What is this place? WeChat. It's like a whole other world. It is. What are they? They're Bubble Pups. They might be cute, but, man, are they clingy. Whee! They're stickers, Gene. Try to get with the program. This is so cool. Wait. What's in that one? -Guys, look at this picture. -Look at my baby. This is what I ate for breakfast. -This is what I ate for lunch! -Here's me on a hike! Here's me in the gym! Here's me in the bathroom! Everybody's talking about themselves. How does he know so many people? None of these people know him, but they like him, and that's what matters in this life, popularity. I... I think I'd... I think I'd rather just have a real friend. A real friend? How's that gonna get you anywhere? What you need are fans. They give you complete and unrelenting support. As long as you're on top. Poor Gene. I blame myself. I blame you, too. I just wanted to be supportive. You just wanted a vacation. You take that back, Mel Meh. Bots. If they haven't found Gene by now, he must have skipped town. You mean the Wallpaper? Our boy's on the run. How about we find him ourselves? Yeah, for sure. Tell all Bots to follow those Mehs. I'm sure they'll know all the freaky-deaky apps Gene will hide out in. I'm really good at making plans, you guys. Right? Here we are. The Piracy app. This is where we'll find Jailbreak. Um... But this is the Dictionary. That's just what Alex wants his parents to think. This is called a skin. Really? What could a teenage boy possibly want to hide from his parents? Just try to keep up. This place can get a little rough. Ahoy, mateys. Look who's back! Hi-5! I'm a bit of a celebrity here. Always welcome.! Loser! Come on. Follow me. Great. Emojis. I thought the conversation just got dumber. Internet trolls. Just ignore them. Eventually, they'll get a job or a girlfriend or some sort of purpose in life, and they'll stop. Virus. We'll just... We'll just walk over this way. Hi! It's so great to see you again. Do I know you? It's Spam. Just sign here and I can get you special discounts on vitamins and credit card offers that can save you up to 25%. No, no, no, don't get sucked in. Back off, Spam! It's the only way to deal... Back off! Thank you very much! You can illegally download our CD right here. Hey, Trojan Horse. How are you? Yeah, what'll it be, hand? I'll have a bottle of "Hack Daniel's." Maybe with a plate of cheese and hackers? You trying to find a hacker? You can just ask, you know. Sorry. Um, yes. We're looking for a hacker named Jailbreak. I know a guy that can hook you up. Right over there. He looks capable. No, not him. Her. Wait. He's a she? Hey, Jailbreak. Mind if we join you? Yes. That's the thing about the Internet, isn't it? You can never tell if someone's being ironic or sincere. I sincerely, unironically want you to go away. That's a good one. So, here's the thing. My friend Gene here has a little problem. Well, see, I'm supposed to be a Meh, but I don't really feel... Right. Yeah, yeah, yeah. No, that's good. And we thought you could help, since you got the Princess, you know, off the phone. Not interested. Hold up. That's not a Meh face. Bots! They're after me! How are you doing that? Look, it's just something I can do. Can you help us? Follow me. Bots! Delete my history! I corrupted the entire hard drive. I made the most delicious cinnamon buns. Maybe if there was something to, you know, jog my memory. Come on! Move! Hey, Trolls, why is that mailbox wearing a tuxedo? Hi! It's so great to see you again! Call me! This tunnel will get us out of here. Move! Did that cloud taste sweet to you?! Help me! Help! I'm stuck! Sweet motherboard! Where am I? Get me out of here. Hey, Palm Face. Try getting him out the top! Already on it! Hold tight, Gene. This feels very odd, and it smells. I mean, it smells good, it smells delicious, but I still don't like it. The game obviously thinks you're a candy, even though you're weirdly misshapen, you know? What are we gonna do? Stay very still. Don't worry. We've got your back. Right, Hi-5? Hey, Fingers! You want to focus? For your information, I happen to have a sugar addiction, and it's a very serious... Listen, Finger Head! We have to get Gene out of the game without blowing him up. I don't want to blow up. We have to match up the candies, so that Gene will drop to the bottom. And we can't match him with any yellows, or else... Don't do that. Please don't do that. Watch. Match three in a row. Don't blow Gene up. Got it. And we have to be very careful. -Yeah, yeah, yeah. Careful. -Candy! Watch it! Hey! No! No, no, no! Slow down. Not the yellows! Not the yellows. I said careful! My mom just joined Facebook. Can you believe she wanted to friend me? Hey, Addie, I was just wondering if you are... Tasty. What? Um... Excuse me? Sweet. Hey, Addie! Hi, Nikki. See you later, Alex. Sugar Crush. So over this. Wireless Wireless. How may I help you? I'd like to make an appointment. It's like this phone is playing games with me. Hey, what does this do? No! Get me out of here! No! Stop it! Stop, stop! It's not working. Well, there's one option left. We line you up with the yellows. But you said not to do that. Special candies get transported to that jar. The game might think you're a special candy. And what if it doesn't think I'm a special candy? Well... Jailbreak, hello? Hello, Jailbreak? Sorry. What if it doesn't think I'm a special candy? I'm not too worried about it. Okay, just do it. Gene! Gene? Hey. No! Gene! You're alive! You were trying to see if I had somehow turned into candy, weren't you? Yes, I was. And you have not. Hey. Looks like something popped up on Alex's calendar. I'm sure it's nothing. Alex made an appointment at the phone store. No! Calm down, everyone! Calm down. Don't worry. Everything is fine. Maybe Alex just wants to buy some accessories. His appointment is with technical support. Well, I'm sure we still have plenty of time to figure this out. His appointment is for tomorrow. Then maybe it's just for some routine maintenance. Actually, it's to erase the phone. Listen, Gene, I'm about to become your knight in shining armor. You are? Yeah. But first, we need to get uploaded to the cloud. That's where we'll find the source code to reprogram you. The cloud? Isn't that off the phone? Ding, ding, ding, ding. You got it. Yeah, the cloud. Off the phone. We're in Candy Crush, obvs. I know a shortcut to Just Dance, which is right next to Dropbox, where we can get uploaded to the cloud. Of course. Just Dance, then boogie over to Dropbox, catch the link, and zoom. Hold up. Here's the stinker. Before they let us into the cloud, we have to get past this firewall. The firewall uses face identification. Yeah, the firewall. Which is really annoying, because I've already tried to get through. Guessed wrong once, and now I'm locked out for life. Locked out for life? You're thinking, 'cause I can make different faces, the firewall will think I'm different emojis. Yeah. I wanted to say it 'cause it was my idea. You know, women are always coming up with stuff that men are taking credit for. You know what... Well, then let's hit the road. Hi-5, you coming? I'm coming! Why do I always think I'm gonna come around on black licorice? My precious. Hey! Move it! Certain death, here we come. Let's try this one. YouTube? What a visual treat. And I don't even need a remote. That guy is so expressive. He reminds me of Gene. Yeah. Something really wrong with him. Our son is a malfunction, and you should never have let him go into that cube. Don't blame me for this, Mel. I am hopping mad at you. See? Mary, I think we're being followed. But don't overreact. I told you not to overreact. What are you doing now? They'll be in there for hours. Mary, where are you going? I think we should go our separate ways, Mel. I thought I knew the Meh that I married, but maybe I don't. But, Mary... This tunnel will help us avoid the Bots. Thanks for helping us. It's really nice of you. NBD, dude. The truth is, you're helping me. Come on, let's move it. Why so slow? Hi-5, stop. Why are you getting so close? What's with you? Back off. Can't stop now. I'm having a sugar rush! I'll go around you. If I stop moving, my heart's gonna explode! Coming through, Jailbreak! Look out! Hey! Watch it, Knuckle Butt! I can't feel my face. So, Jailbreak, back there you said I'm helping you. I've been trying to get past that firewall for months. Come on, come on! The faster we get there, the faster I become a favorite! Look at me! I just want to bounce out of here, get off the phone, and live on the cloud. What just happened? You don't like it here? There's so many rules here. What is up with that? The cloud is supposed to be amazing. There's so much to see and do. Sugar crash. I can't hold on anymore. Catch me, Gene. Catch me! And you can be whoever you want. Thanks. You're free! Come on! My gosh, my hands are sweating. You are a hand! Yeah! You know, come to think of it, I don't really remember there ever being a hacker emoji. Um, you know, you're taking up too much of my brain space. Let's keep the chitchat to a minimum. Someone likes you. What are you talking about? This is just like when Peace Sign gave me just one finger. I knew she was in love with me. Let's go! I'm never eating another piece of candy ever again. Hi-5, don't do it. Don't you do it. It's already been in there once. Don't do it. Are my fingers getting fat? I'll tell you what, this bandage wasn't so tight before. Okay. We get through this app, and Dropbox is right on the other side. We just need to keep it super DL in here. And no matter what, we can't turn it on. OMG, this turned it on! What? I'm a hand. It's a big, red button. What's happening? No, no, no, no, no! Welcome to Just Dance! Follow my moves and you get to move forward. Do the wrong moves and you get an "X." Three strikes and you're out. Out? What does she mean by "Out"? Digital death. Thanks to you, Fingers. Now we're gonna have to dance our way out. Which is all right with me, 'cause I can shake it like Michael. Or Michael's glove, anyway. Are you ready to dance? This is bad, Gene. I can't dance. I got no groove. Come on. Everybody can dance. Not me, okay? I'm really stiff. See? I can't... Don't understand. Okay. No, no... Stop, stop. She has to stop. I see now what you are saying. Just follow her moves. Ready to dance in three... This I can't do. Two... Dude... Just shut up and... Dance! It's too easy! Hee-hee! Shamone! Jailbreak! I got you. Look. Just feel the music. Express yourself. Through dance? Yeah, you got it! Go, girl! Now throw some sauce on that dance burrito. I'm doing it! I'm fully nailing this dance! You got it! Great job! You're moving on to free dance! Impress us with your moves to move forward. More dancing? You're killing it, Gene! Slay! Nice! Shake it, Gene. You won't break it. Wait a minute! I've never seen that dance before. What's it called? Um... The Emoji Pop? I love it! What? You do? Everybody, do the Emoji Pop! Hoo! Yes! Princess. You're the Princess emoji? You never got off the phone. Welcome, new players! What? Who? No! We got to go. Don't worry. They're robots. They can't dance. Downloading funk protocol. "Can't dance," he says. Move! Congratulations. You're a disco diva. Hey, Alex, you gonna dance for us? Alex, that's extra homework for you. Hey, Alex, you gonna shake it? No! No, no, no, no, no, no! Alex must be deleting the app. Watch out! We got to get out of here. Come on! This song is my jam. Hi-5, come on! Let's go! Hurry! Hi-5! Gene! I got you! Gene... Hi-5! Gene. Hey, wait. Where's Hi-5? Alex trashed the app. And Hi-5 right along with it. Wait, what? Wait, trashed? Hi-5 is in the trash? He wanted to dance. But I knew it was a bad idea. We got to get him out of there. Gene, Dropbox is right here. That's our ticket to the cloud. And the trash is on the other side of the phone. We don't know how many other Bots are out there. I'm sorry. No way. We can't go without Hi-5. I don't care how far away it is. That's my friend down there. I'm not just gonna leave him to get deleted. What? What is it? I've always just thought you got to look out for number one. Well, what good is it to be number one if there aren't any other numbers? Okay. I'm sorry. This is my malfunction. I just... I can't be meh about anything. This is why I'm going to get reprogrammed. Well, it's actually kind of cool. Wait, really? You know, I think I know a shortcut. We can take the music streams in Spotify. Let's go give that big hand a hand. Come on. Alex trashed the Just Dance app, and our Bots are offline, and it's giving me a real headache. I am so angry. I really need to stay happy. Can we please lighten the mood? No one can resist una fiesta! Not that happy. We've only got four hours before Alex's phone appointment. If they find a malfunction on the phone, we are all gonna be wiped. Yeah. She said, "Wiped." Aim higher, Steven. I didn't want to have to do this, but it is fun to press buttons. The illegal upgrade. Now that makes me happy. I just want to dance. Dance, please. Arr! Quiet, you sassy gypsy. Where am I? Hi! It's so great to see you again! You're in the trash, Fingers for Brains. Get away from me, Troll. Hi! It's so great to see you again! I got to get out of here. You can't. And at the end of the day, the trash gets emptied, and we're all gonna die! No. No, no! This is the last face you will ever see. No! This is Spotify? Yep. Every one of those streams is a different song. Is it safe? Yeah! Are you sure this is a good idea? Fastest way to the trash, dude! Could we at least pick a calmer stream? Okay, buzzkill. Alex. A bunch of people are hitting the promenade. I think Addie might be there, too. That's perfect! I have an appointment down there, anyway. I've got to get this phone fixed. Hey, bubble butt. Yeah, you do. Much better. So, I got to ask. Is it true that when a princess whistles, birds fly down from the skies, and... Hello, stereotype. That is a complete and total myth. I'm sorry. Did you realize that on the first emoji set, a woman can either be a princess or a bride? That's why I need to get to the cloud, where you can be whoever you want to be. Get ready. Whale song coming. -Wait, wait. Whale what? -A whale song. From Alex's biology presentation. You're not gonna see that sitting around in a cube. It's funny. You want out of the cube, and I want in. Gene, if that means you can't be yourself, what's the point? You know, I think you're pretty cool just the way you are. We're gonna need this. In the trash? Me? I used to be somebody. Here I am. Look. In an old e-mail Alex never sent. "Addie, blah, blah, blah, blah, bla-la-la-la." And then there's me, Hi-5, right there, doing my job. FYI, nobody cares about you. Just leave me, Troll, and let me die in this dump alone. Let me look for the world's smallest violin in here, so you can play it. It's the Hand Angel of Mercy. She's finally come for me. Give me your hand! I mean, give me yourself. Take my hand, angel. I'm ready to take my place amongst the other great hands of the past. It's me, Gene! Gene? I got him! Take me with you. Hi-5! Let go of me. Don't leave me down here! You were wrong, Troll. People do care about me. And I'm not upset, Troll. Do you see how not upset I am? Gene, you came back for me. You saved me. It wasn't just me. Jailbreak helped, too. And she's a hugger. Give her a squeeze. No, no, no. There really is nothing greater than the feeling of being truly free. You filthy trolls, I inhaled your stench, but I was once one of you, so I, too, feel your pain. Now go. Be free! Should be smooth sailing from here. Gene. Gene. Gene? Are you Instagramming? Where is my Gene? Mary. You've really done it this time. No, you haven't. Mel? What are you doing in Alex's trip to France album? I was looking for you. None of this is your fault, Mary. It's mine. What do you mean? Is that a tear on your cheek? It's my fault Gene is the way he is. I have other expressions, too. I think they've just been buried away. But with Gene going missing and thinking I might have lost you, too... Mel. Why didn't you tell me? I didn't know myself. Right now, I'm so overwhelmed with passionate feelings for you. Mary, my love for you burns with the intensity of a red-hot flame. I like that, Mel. Let's go find our son. Together. We'll always have Paris, Mary. So, you're a princess. I saw your little tiara. Very fancy. Is it true when a princess whistles, birds fly down from... That's what I said! No, guys! That's a stupid myth! What software version are we living in? Go read an e-book. Educate yourselves. Just look behind you. What the... What is that? Smiler must have upgraded her Bots. Let's get out of here before it... Hi, Gene. Remember me? Smiler. I'm coming to you live from the amphitheater. Why don't you come back to Textopolis and we can talk through our differences, okay? My friend here will escort you, all right? I'm gonna see you soon, buddy. Bye, now. We're actually gonna delete him in front of everyone. Psst! It's still on! It's still what? Jiminy Sassafras! Move! Separate! Tangle him up! Jailbreak! Gene! This way! It's still after me! Let's go. We have to make it to Dropbox. Yes! No! Go low! Don't worry. It can't get in. It's illegal malware, and this app is secure. Come on. Welcome to Dropbox. You are about to leave the phone. Remain seated, please. You might want to hang on. Why do they call this Dropbox, anyway? This is why! I see that now! Yeah! I think we're about to see that candy corn again! We made it. Hoo! Guys, guys, chill. We still have to get past that. Holy... Yeah. Hello. Welcome to the firewall. How may I help you? All right, here goes. What do I do? Sit in the corner and don't say a word. Keep those sausage fingers to yourself. Yes, Your Majesty Princess of Nightmares! Now, Gene, step onto the password icon, and I'll feed you the passwords. Okay. Okay. 10-11-2002. 10-11-2002. Access denied. Okay, try a different expression. Is it gonna blast me every time I mess up? Yeah, kinda. What do you mean, "Kinda"? Ready? Welcome to the firewall. His favorite food. Chimichangas. Chimichangas? Access denied. This might take a while. Boy. Krav Maga. Krav Maga. Major Lazer. Major Lazer. Abuela Dora! Skate or die. Access denied. Denied. I don't get it. We've tried all the important things in Alex's life. His favorite pet, sport, his favorite grandma. I'm sorry, Gene. I let us all down. You know, if I had to come up with a password, I'd probably use the name of a girl I liked. I've been all over the phone. He's never mentioned a girl. Yes, he has. Hi. When I was in the trash, I read a very interesting e-mail, but I'm just the dunce in the corner, forbidden to speak. What e-mail? Sorry, what? What e-mail? To a girl at school. He was declaring his feelings of love for her. I guess instead of sending it, he tossed it in the trash. Hi-5, this is very important. What is her name? Her name, yes. Excellent question. It was Tina. Karen. Marge. Lindsey. Alison. Sarah or Lupita. I want to say Lupita, but that doesn't feel right now I'm saying it out loud. Jennifer. Got to find that e-mail. Phillipa. I think I can access the trash. Annabelle. -I got it! Addie! -Yes! Yes! That's it! Addie! I knew I'd get there. "Dear Addie, you and I, we're like diamonds in the sky. "You're a shooting star I see, "a vision of ecstasy. "Shine bright like a diamond." And he used a high five, see? I guess now we know why he trashed it. Shade. Guys, should we try this? Addie. Access granted. Snap. This place is amazing. The cloud. I can't believe it. One little emoji could sure get lost in a place like this. I guess we should make you a Meh before that Bot comes back? So, we're gonna... We're gonna do that now? We had a deal. Right? Yeah, okay. Right. I, guess I'll start hacking. We did it, Gene. All our dreams are coming true. I'll be an Alex favorite again, and you'll be a real Meh. Yeah! Yeah, but this all seems kind of super-fast now, though. Doesn't it? Hi-5, I just didn't expect to be having these feelings right now. Well, maybe you should go and express them while you still can. So, I've been... I mean, um... Ever since we... Jailbreak, you're the coolest, most interesting emoji I've ever met. And after all the adventures that we had, I'm just not sure I want all that to go away, because my feelings right now are, like, huge. I just think that they could be enough for me to want to stay the way I am. If it means I could stay here with you. Like, forever. Forever and ever and ever. Maybe longer than that even. Like in the fairy tales. Like, what is "? Is that a good "? Gene, if this is about you deciding not to be meh, then I am all about that. I like you just the way you are. But I had a plan. Right. I'm not just some princess, Gene, waiting for my prince. I mean, what you said was beautiful, but... Gene. You're all meh. The source code worked! Turns out I didn't need it. For the first time in my life, meh is all I feel. No! Gene! Hi. I have an appointment. I'm a little early. No problem. I can take you right now. Jailbreak! Don't do that! That freaky huge Bot has got Gene back inside the phone. What? He left looking more meh than the meh-est meh face I've ever seen. What did you say to him? It's what I didn't say. We've got to go get him. How are we gonna get in there in time before he gets deleted? I can't believe I'm doing this. You tell anyone you saw this, and I'll crack more than those knuckles. Birds do love princesses! It's not a myth. It's not a myth at all! What happened to becoming a favorite? Guess I'd rather have one real friend. And let's go get him. I can't wait to see the look on Gene's face! Look at that expression. Is that for realizing you've put all of Textopolis at risk, causing Alex to question our reliability? Hey, that's going too far, even for me. If we can delete this malfunction before his appointment, they'll discover there's nothing wrong with the phone. Any last words? Meh. Well, it's too late for that. Delete him! Wait. You delete Gene, you'll have to delete me, too. I have the same malfunction Gene does. Dad? Gosh, I don't know what to do. Yes, I do. Bot! No! Sorry, Mrs. Meh. I did not see that one coming. Smiler, I think you might be making too much stink out of all this. Really? How about you're next? I was wrong, Gene. I should've believed in you all along. What a touching daddy-son reunion moment. It reminds me of the time I deleted you both. Wait. That's this time! Delete the two malfunctions! No. How's that for an... Great. I can't reach! No! What did you do to my beautiful... My tooth. Hand, button. Jailbreak? Gene. You really are a Meh. What happened to looking out for number one? Being number one doesn't matter if there aren't any other numbers. Alex's appointment! He's deleting the phone! No, no, no! Show me Alex. Are you sure you want to delete everything? Do it. Red alert! Red alert! Alex, no! Game over. Fellas, I'm afraid this is last call. Dude, Addie's here. You should go over. Every time I try, I screw it up. I don't know how to tell her how I feel. If we help Alex connect to Addie, maybe he won't delete us. I might be able to bypass the wipe and get a text through to him. But we'll only have time to send one. Maybe I should go. He has love in his eyes. Send me. Alex looks nervous, too. He's more shy than nervous. Stop! It's Gene. He's all of those things. An emoji should only be one thing. Really? The Princess! Linda! Not now, Mom! Gene, you got this. That's not me anymore. But I have to try. It's starting! No, it's ending! I'm working on it. Mom? Dad? No. I'm in. Last time I was in this cube, I screwed everything up. Gene, why do you think I came back? It's because of you. Me? It's all inside of you, Gene. Just try to bring it back. And do you. Hi-5! I don't want to wave good-bye. It's now or never, Gene. Jailbreak, now! Check out this emoji. No way. Hey, I got your text. That's one super-cool emoji. I know, right? A lot of feelings in one. I get it. I like that you're one of those guys who can actually express his feelings. Yeah. That's me. So, do you think you'd want to... Yes. I'd love to go to the dance with you. Hey, excuse me. We made it! I could've lost you, Peter Pinkie. Or you, Reggie Ring Finger. Even you, Tiberius Thumb. Change your mind? Yeah, maybe it's weird, but... I'm gonna hold on to it. Gene, you did it! You saved us all! Mel. Gene! Gene! Gene! Gene! Gene! Gene. Gene. Gene. Gene! Gene! Gene! Gene! Gene! Gene! Gene! Gene! Gene! Gene! They love us! And Hi-5! And Hi-5! And Hi-5! And Hi-5! They love both of us! Hey, what up, Gene? Slap me some skin. And a little porridge for the pinkie. Hey, Hi-5, save me a dance for later. As long as you're not all hands again. Back on top of the hand pile. You're not on the list. -Wait, what? -What's going on? From now on, everyone is welcome! Wait, what is all this? It's for you, Gene. Everybody, the Emoji Pop! This is jazzy. Yeah. Go, Eggplant! Go, Eggplant! Go, Eggplant! We are out of Alex's pocket, emojis. This is not a butt dial. To your cubes. -Are we up and running? -Roger that. Good, 'cause we got incoming. Looks like it's gonna be Gene. Hey, Gene, ready to try out your new cube? In three, two... Read more: https://www.springfieldspringfield.co.uk/movie_script.php?movie=the-emoji-movie