#a big reason kara is able to get out of her shell after landing on earth is by making friends with the titans so they are. important to her

[morninkim]

Of the heroes that appeared in the late 90's and early 00's, Superman, Batman, The Flash, Wonder Woman, Aquaman and Green Arrow, most of the founders of the Justice League, are notable for taking on young proteges, or "Sidekicks" as they would eventually come to known as.

Naturally, through these shared experiences and mentorships, these teenaged heroes banded together as teammates and friends, even before their mentors did.

In 2002, Robin, Kid Flash, Wonder Girl and Aqualad, later joined by Supergirl in 2003 and Speedy in 2004, would form the Teen Titans, some say as an excuse to hang out more often.

[clexaisheretostay]

Frozen Flowers

Post season 4 reveal with Lena and Kara finding themselves far apart. Lena left long ago but Kara didn't even know and the day she found out was the day she really started hurting. She should have realized, should have known that there was no way that she couldn't just randomly bump into Lena even in a city as big as National City for a year if she was still living here. Kara just wished she had been given a chance to explain everything, she should have explained everything before it came to this.

Regret pooled in Kara and an aching pain bloomed in her chest and she knew for sure that she wouldn’t live to see forgiveness. There was no way she was going to seek Lena out without her express permission to do so. She should have just told Lena long before this happened. Her soul cracked and scarred, Kara knew she loved Lena even if Lena hated her now.

The rest of this story is actually already posted up on my account at Ko-Fi.com/himemiyahikaru for anyone willing to help support me and keep a roof over my head since I’m a little short on rent money right now because of various life circumstances.

姫宮光る

Chapter 1

There’s No Point Anymore

Never had anything hurt more than the parting words Lena threw in Kara’s face before exiting from Kara’s life permanently, at least it was permanent for a while.

“I hate you, Kara. You are dead to me.  I never want to see you again,” Lena spat with such anger in her eyes, disdain in her voice.  Kara had never heard Lena so hateful, not even when she spoke of or to her own mother.  It felt like someone had shot her in the gut with a Kryptonite laced bullet that went straight through her.  Never had she felt such anguish like this in all her life because though the destruction of her planet had been devastating, it had been an almost abstract concept since she had fallen into the phantom zone for 24 years before crash landing right into the Danvers’ lives.  Actually, Kara would have preferred a Kryptonite bullet through the brain right about now.  That might have hurt less than this unbearable wound bleeding out of her heart, searing into her brain, and seeping underneath her skin, burrowing deeply like a parasite.  No, it would definitely have been much less painful if she was shot through the brain with a Kryptonite bullet right now.  Perhaps she deserved it if a bullet shot her right now because of the angry, wounded look on Lena’s face.

“Lena, I would apologize a hundred times if I thought that would help make you feel less hurt. I’m apologizing now, however little that means to you right now after … after everything, after lying for so long. There are no words that can express how deeply, sincerely sorry I am that I didn’t tell you sooner, that I didn’t say something when I first realized how much I trust you, how much I care for you and believe in you, Lena.”  Kara, paused, taking a deep breath to steel herself to continue talking. “However, I obviously didn’t and now … now it’s probably too late for me to apologize, but I am truly sorry, Lena.”

“Are you done, Supergirl?” Lena asked coldly, a sneer on her face, something Kara had never seen directed at her.  It hurt, but it probably didn’t hurt as much as Kara’s massive breach of trust did and Kara couldn’t imagine how much agony Lena was in right now.

Kara’s face fell, tears welling in her eyes that she tried to blink away as she looked at an unmoved Lena, still gazing at her stoically.  “I just … want to tell you how sorry I am one more time.  Lena, I have never been more remorseful for anything in my life than not telling you the truth the moment I trusted you to keep my secret, the moment I trusted in our friendship.”

“If you’re done, then leave, get the hell out of my office.  We’re done talking now.”  Lena’s face had smoothed out to show absolutely no emotion, but Kara could smell the saline of her tears in the air as well as hear how her heart pounded with ache.  It was difficult to know that she was the reason for all of it, for the way Lena was suffering right now was because she kept listening to everyone else instead of listening to her own heart and telling Lena, NDA forms be damned.

“Okay, Lena … I’ll leave but know that if you … if ever there is a day you might be able to forgive me,” Lena scoffed but didn’t interrupt Kara, “you have my number and know where to find me.  Until then … I’ll leave you be Lena.  I promise.” Lena didn’t even acknowledge Kara’s words, just gestured for her to fly out of her office through the balcony door before turning around and sitting down in her desk chair.  That was the last time Kara would see Lena for nearly two years and not under the best circumstances either.

X

One year.  It had been just over a year since Kara had last seen Lena, last spoken to the love of her life, though she didn’t dare tell Lena that.  She might have been a masochist for listening for Lena’s heartbeat any time she was anywhere within her super hearing distance of Lena to listen to that soothing heartbeat … she stopped looking for it after a few months because it wasn’t right for her to do that.  Lena wanted space and this was a violation, even if she would never know that Kara had been actively seeking her out in a way only she would be aware of, and she forced herself to stop after two and a half months of listening to that heartbeat with longing.

Today was an exception. Kara hadn’t been the one to think to come over to the LCorp building.  In fact, Kara had attempted to talk Snapper out of forcing this particular assignment on her.  Nobody had spoken to Lena for an interview in more than half a year and he wanted answers as to why she hadn’t had a public appearance in so long.  LCorp was still running even if no one had seen her coming and going from the office, rich people could use private parking in a secure parking garage that required ID to access it after all.  Being a CEO also meant being rich enough not to have to worry about not getting a meal delivered or having someone else working get it for you without having to lift a finger to get it yourself, of course.  And Kara knew all of those things, so she didn’t have any high hopes of meeting with Lena whatsoever when she went to the top floor in order to meet with Lena.

Upon exiting the elevator, she was greeted by Jess sitting at her usual desk.  Before Kara could even open her mouth, Jess was speaking, “Miss Luthor is not in her office at the moment.”

“Okay, but I was supposed to meet with her today in order to interview her for CatCo Magazine,” Kara spoke as if Jess didn’t already know she was a reporter there, but Jess didn’t comment on that and instead gave her a calculating look.  “I emailed her directly about this and someone else from LCorp emailed me back to come at this time today.”

Jess sighed, “I emailed you back in Miss Luthor’s place, Miss Danvers.  The reason for that is you won’t be able to meet with Miss Luthor to interview her ever again and I wanted to tell you in person so you wouldn’t come in everyday looking for her.  Of course, this is off the record because this isn’t an interview.”  Kara felt like the earth had suddenly crumbled beneath her feet and nothing was holding her down to the ground.  A terrible ache in her chest made itself known as tears sprang to her eyes and heartache bloomed and started throbbing throughout her chest like a plant blooming within the confines of her ribs.  “Miss Luthor left more than six months ago.  I cannot tell you where she went, only that she made sure no one would be able to find her without her express permission.  She is still running LCorp from where she is, which is why no one suspects that she is no longer CEO at the moment.”

Kara felt numb as she nodded blankly, feeling worse than how she had felt when she last spoke to Lena about her betrayal over a year ago, worse than how hollow she had been the following months without contact with her best friend, with the love of her life out of her life for such a long time.  “Why are you telling me this?”

Again, Jess looked at her in a calculating way before responding, “I’m only telling you this because I saw, firsthand, how terribly your falling out affected Miss Luthor, how agonizing it was for her to experience such a large breach of trust in someone she trusted more than anyone else in her entire life.  Though I don’t know what it was that caused such a rift between the two of you … I know that I watched her become a shell of who she once was. She hardly ever ate or left her office. I’d never seen her more devastated in all of the years I’ve worked for her and I was the one who suggested she leave for her own sake.  Miss Luthor didn’t want to leave when I first made a comment about how starting fresh somewhere might help her heal, but she finally agreed with me and now she is somewhere far, far away from where her pain resides.”  Jess gave Kara a knowing look.  The comment wasn’t meant to hurt her, just point out that living here had been destroying Lena little by little.

“Right then.  I’ll just … I’ll be on my way then, Jess. Thank you … thank you for telling me this in person when you didn’t have to … or need to let me know anything at all.” Jess responded by nodding her head and giving her a wave goodbye before getting back to her work, after all an assistant’s job is never done no matter how far away they were from their boss.

The rest of the day Kara was practically useless to Snapper so he sent her home, and it almost seemed like he was moderately concerned with her nearly catatonic state. All he got out of Kara was that Lena hadn’t been in her office.  By the time Kara came home she realized that she hadn’t eaten anything since breakfast nearly twelve hours ago but she didn’t feel hungry, not in the slightest. She went to sit down on her couch and curled up into a ball, knees drawn up to her chest, arms wrapped around her knees, and her head resting on her arms, staring blankly ahead, lost in thought. Kara wasn’t sure how much time had passed while she was lost in thoughts of how wrong her life seemed without the possibility of ever having Lena in her life again when the door to her apartment opened and Alex came through with several boxes of pizza stacked high in her arms.  If Kara hadn’t been so dazed, she would have marveled in her sister’s talent in being able to carry everything and still unlock the door as someone without superhuman capabilities.

“Hey, Kara, I brought the pizza as promised for sister … night?  What’s wrong, Kara?”  Alex came over to set the pizza boxes down on the coffee table and immediately wrapped Kara up in her arms, knowing how tactile Kara was when she wanted, or needed in this case, comfort when she was hurting over something.  For a long time, Kara was silent, just taking comfort in being in Alex’s arms and warm hug.  Kara hadn’t cried yet, nothing had really sunk in yet.  The fact that Lena was somewhere she didn’t know and couldn’t possibly hope to find her hadn’t become real yet as she sat in her dark apartment, staring at a picture frame of Lena holding her from behind, exuding happiness in her subtle smile.  Alex waited patiently for Kara to find the right words to tell her what was wrong. She knew that Kara sometimes wasn’t sure what she wanted to say yet, how to say what she wanted to say, and so she needed the time to find what she wanted to say to her.  “Take your time, sweetie.”  Alex kissed her forehead tenderly for a long moment before leaning back, looking Kara in the eye when she made a noise.

“She’s gone, Alex, and I’ll probably never see her again.”  Alex furrowed her brows but remembered why she had come over to Kara’s apartment in the first place: Lena Luthor.  Kara had excitedly told her that Lena had accepted an interview with her for earlier today and Alex insisted that she should come over after she was done at work so that she could bring celebratory pizza over or consolation pizza if things didn’t go as planned with the interview.  “Jess, her assistant,” as if Alex didn’t know who she was from the various times she had gone to Lena’s office over the years, “was actually the one who emailed me in Lena’s place to accept the meeting to … to tell me in person that Lena left the country a long time ago.  Maybe she felt bad for me or just knew that I would keep coming if Lena never answered.  I’m not sure, but she said that the reason she asked me to come in person was so that I wouldn’t come by the office everyday looking for her because she’s not in the same state, let alone same country anymore, from how she said it anyways since she never specified if Lena was still in the country or not.  Just said that she was … far, far away from here … from me.”

“Oh, Kara.  Come here.”  Alex felt Kara bury her face into her neck, finally shedding tears at the finality of the whole situation, of the realization that Lena never wanted to see her face again and she truly meant it.  There was no way to fix this, no way to make things better without Lena coming back and telling Kara that she had forgiven her, that they could be friends again, or at the very least that she would be in the same city as her even if she never spoke to her again in an unofficial capacity.  Being acquaintances would be better than not being anything to each other at all.  Kara’s thoughts just spiraled from there.  Nothing was going to make any of this okay again.  After that Kara didn’t speak another word for the rest of the night, hardly even touched the pizza, much to Alex’s dismay and concern.

X

It had been months since Kara had discovered that Lena had moved out of the city to someplace Kara would never know.  Days all blended together, weeks sped by while she felt like she wasn’t moving at all, and before Kara even knew it, it had been four months since she found out that Lena made sure Kara would never see her by accident on the street, while shopping for groceries, just doing something in public where they could bump into each other by pure luck.  Kara hardly ate, barely slept, and stopped going out with her friends.  Why eat when everything was tasteless, why sleep when she was haunted by her dreams, though being awake was like living a nightmare she couldn’t escape, and why try to enjoy life when life was meaningless?  It was unanimously decided that game night wasn’t game night without Kara after the sixth time Kara failed to show up or participate with any sense of enthusiasm if she showed up.  Just looking at her compared to how effervescent she was before was more than just disheartening, it was downright depressing. Things just hadn’t been the same since Kara found out that Lena moved away to get away from her, to take any and all chances of them reconciling away and disappearing out of Kara’s life permanently.

Ever since Kara discovered Lena had left she had been taking more and more risks, in fact everything she did was without the slightest hint of caution or sense in order to stop natural disasters, crime, or unknown alien threats.  Kara went into every fight recklessly, was hungover or drunk on rare occasions when something happened while she was at home drinking her weight in her favorite alien liquors and drowning in her misery.  Alex had had enough of watching her sister destroy herself and finally exploded after one time too many.  “Why are you doing this to yourself Kara?”

Kara smiled hollowly, “because there’s no point anymore.”  Alex had wanted to question what she meant but she was pretty sure the answer was something she wouldn’t be able to stomach if she questioned Kara about her comment.  Alex resolved to find Lena by any means necessary and would do it with or without the DEOs permission and resources if she had to for Kara’s sake.  Nothing was going to stop her from finding that damn Luthor, nothing.

X

Kara hadn’t been the same since she found out Lena had left National City. ��Every time she left for a mission, Alex couldn’t help but worry it would be the last time she saw her sister alive and well, physically at least. There was no doubt that Kara was mentally, emotionally broken inside, psychologically scarred in a way Alex couldn’t hope to heal her.  And though Alex couldn’t blame Lena for leaving, she could blame Lena for not coming back, for not telling Kara in person that she was leaving and never coming back, something at least that wouldn’t have broken Kara so much at the loss of her deepest friendship and, though Kara hadn’t told her, the love of her life.  Though Kara had broken her trust, Kara shouldn’t have to die in order to be forgiven, should she?  Should anyone?  No, there was no way Lena could be so cruel.  She had to find Lena no matter what.  It had already been two months of this destructive behavior and Alex couldn’t watch her sister kill herself any longer.  Alex was going to find Lena even if it took weeks, months, or years to find her wherever she was hiding out.

Alex recruited Winn to find Lena’s trail because there was no way for her to hide all technological traces, even if she was a genius multi-billionaire with nearly limitless resources.  Winn was her best shot (no pun intended) at finding Lena before it was too late, before Kara succeeded in killing herself and justifying it as a heroic death instead of what it truly was: suicide.  It was frustrating the first two months having no progress because Lena was damn good at hiding her transactions from all of those months ago when she left. Being that it had been nearly a year since she left it was even harder than if the trail had been fresh.  Almost everything Alex and Winn looked into turned into a dead end with false dummy interactions and set ups to lead anyone trying to find her astray into multiple promising looking clues that turned out to be nothing.  It was almost as if Lena had disappeared entirely off the face of the earth and Alex was starting to wonder if Lena had somehow gone to a different earth parallel to theirs with some kind of invention when Winn finally found a lead two months after they first started looking without Kara even being that curious about what they were doing.  Just a curious inquiry about what they were constantly talking about these days and an acceptance when the answers weren’t very forthcoming.  Alex nearly cried in frustration and pain at her sister’s lackluster response and general despondence becoming so common.  She shouldn’t be this way, shouldn’t be so indifferent to everything going on around her like she was merely a spectator to her own life and those in her life.  One glance at Winn told her that Winn agreed wholeheartedly.

They started working even harder to figure out where the hell Lena had gone to stump everyone out of finding her location.  It had been a grueling two months to find something promising that wasn’t a complete waste of time being a dummy account or transaction to fend off potential enemies looking for Lena for them to have something that gave them both a spark of hope that they would find her yet for Kara’s sake.  Kara didn’t look like herself anymore, blonde hair no longer shining like it used to because of how much sun she would take in, her skin looked pale, she looked tired, and thin, so utterly thin and small compared to how larger than life she had been prior to her finding out about Lena.  Even when Kara had initially had her falling out with Lena it hadn’t been this bad.  Sure, Kara had lost her appetite for about two weeks before realizing that it wasn’t how she should look at things if she wanted to fix her mistake.  Kara had taken to giving Lena space and hoping that after some time they could start talking and build their friendship back up from scratch, start over again.  The thought of a fresh start gave Kara treacherous hope before Lena snatched that away effectively by ensuring they would never see each other again by disappearing out of Kara’s life, permanently.

What started off as a little clue that didn’t turn out to be nothing became something more, something that felt like the beginning of salvation, a way to save Alex’s sister, to save Winn’s best friend.  It was another two months before they found something even more solid, something better than a slight trace that might lead to Lena eventually, considering how long it had taken them to find a mere bread crumb of a clue.  Losing hope was the only way they wouldn’t find Lena, so after more than four months, Alex and Winn were becoming more and more sure of the fact that Lena was somewhere in Asia that was extremely remote.  Being half a world away was the farthest she could have possibly gone in order to avoid Kara after all.  It took another two weeks to narrow it down to an isolated part of China that was mostly countryside but not too far from the city.  Alex gave Winn a hug when he figured out what it was Lena had done, how she had been able to avoid detection so well that it took them four and a half months just figure out that Lena hadn’t, in fact, just moved away from the city.  She had in fact used someone else to camouflage her movement and hidden herself somewhere in the middle of nowhere that wasn’t too far from civilization. It was certain that Lena wasn’t living with whomever her camouflage friend was, based on the camera footage he could find of her only occasionally appearing at said person’s residence, she just used the address for important pieces of mail that was forwarded to the address somehow by Jess to the person who was most likely a relative of hers. The whole thing was ingenious and Alex would have admired such a sneaky tactic if it hadn’t been used as a way to escape Kara and avoid their problems without giving Kara a say about whether she would ever be forgiven for lying to Lena for just over two years of friendship.

Either way, Alex had finally managed to track Lena down with Winn’s help and she wasn’t going to waste another second in the DEO without planning a way to make it to China within the next week to save Kara from herself.  Getting a few days off from J’onn wasn’t difficult since he knew what she was doing when she asked him to clear her work schedule for a few days in order to do what she needed to do.

X

Alex had never thought about how long flying to a country half the world away would take but, damn, she had been on the airplane for twelve hours to get to South Korea with a layover of only two hours, which wasn’t terrible, and then had to fly another four hours to the airport closest to Lena’s assistant’s sister’s apartment. Thinking that always gave Alex a bit of a headache because there were so many possessives all in one thought. Alex was just so happy to finally be off of the airplane and moving towards her goal to finding Lena. Reaching out to Jess’ sister would have alerted Lena in advance so, Alex decided to just drop in as soon as possible after settling into her hotel and finding some mode of transportation that would be inexpensive for her but also convenient.  She was a little nervous now that she was here, that she was this close to fixing Kara, to the person who held the key to making Kara feel better. Every minute since she left the airport after getting a taxi was a bit nerve wracking, in a good way.  After she settled into her hotel room, she paced around the limited space within the room, coming up with a game plan.  She had made sure to calculate every step of the way from the how long the flights and layovers were down to how long it would take from with a taxi to the hotel she was staying at.  Everything was calculated and now she needed to think of a way to approach Isla, Jess’ sister, without alarming her.  Perhaps the truth might help, but it had a chance of hindering her chances instead if Isla knew all of the circumstances that lead to Lena hiding away.

Then again, if Alex was dishonest then she would lose all chances of even seeing Lena for a single moment.  No, she would be brutally honest and appeal to Isla’s love for her own sister to get her to see that Alex only wanted to save Kara from herself and give Lena a chance to come back and clear the air with Kara hopefully.  That’s all she wanted.  Yes, that would be her best bet at getting Isla to allow Alex to talk to Lena about coming back.

Mind made up, Alex went downstairs to ask about the bus system here, since it was much cheaper than taking the bullet train instead, and went on her way to Isla’s apartment. The whole ride there she planned out what she wanted to say to her.  It wasn’t hard to think of the words, to reach inside and honestly think about how hard it was to see her sister suffering from heartache.  Before Alex knew it, she had reached the stop closest to Isla’s apartment and started walking to the apartment, a fifteen-minute walk according to her GPS.

Before Alex was entirely ready she was standing before a very well built and beautiful condominium that was definitely paid for by an extremely wealthy person.  It just reeked of money, more money than even those with higher end jobs could afford to pay.  The outside looked simple enough, like a regular condominium for someone with an extremely well paying job, but there were little things that Alex knew to look for that it made it obvious it was worth several million dollars such as the gated entryway, the higher end security unit used to gain access, the somewhat hidden security cameras, and a few other things that made it worth more than it looked without noticing such details upon first glance.  Alex hesitated, unsure of how to approach in order to gain access until she noticed something that looked like an intercom to buzz into the apartments.  Upon seeing that, Alex took a deep breath to steel herself before walking the few steps over to the intercom and pressing the one to indicate she wanted to talk to Huang, Isla and even the first buzz caused nerves to eat away at Alex as she waited.  Finally, after four rings, someone answered, hopefully it was Isla and not someone else who might possibly run away if she was there right now and realized Alex was here too early.

“Hello?” a voice asked.

“Um, hi, is this Isla by any chance?” Alex inquired in response, just to be sure.

“Yes, this is she. Whom am I speaking to?” she replied back.

“My name is Alex Danvers and I was hoping you could help me with something important.  I’d rather not say over the intercom what it is, but it is regarding someone you know about someone important to me.”  There was silence for several seconds and every second Alex held her breath until she heard the intercom come back to life.

“I have a feeling I know what this is about, but come on in.”  With that she heard the unusually pleasant-sounding ring that allowed her entrance, something that was paid for by the rich people who reside here no doubt. Walking in, she walked to the appropriate condominium unit and knocked tentatively.  After just a moment the door opened to reveal someone who looked relatively similar to Jess.  Isla motioned for Alex to come in and said, “shoes off please,” as she walked further into the condominium towards a spacious living room area that looked homey. There were several picture frames on a mantle area near the couch showing Isla with various family members, one of just Isla and Jess smiling together on a beach, and one even had a picture of Lena with the sisters.  The one with Lena and the sisters looked like it had been taken at an event they had all attended because of how well dressed they all were.  Alex was broken out of her musings by Isla’s voice.  “So, you wanted to talk, right?”  Her voice was hesitant though not entirely unkind.

“Right, yes.  My name is Alex, as I stated, and I wanted to talk to you about my sister, Kara.”  Isla seemed unsurprised by that fact, but nodded for Alex to go on, seemingly willing to listen to her plead her case.  “Okay, so I’m not sure if you know, though I highly doubt that you wouldn’t know about this, that my sister had a falling out with Lena nearly two years ago now.  They haven’t spoken in all of that time, nor seen each other.  Kara tried to give Lena space to heal and didn’t try to see her in person for over a year before your sister told her what Lena had done, that Lena had left National City entirely.  That was kind of her to do that instead of leaving Kara coming back everyday and hoping Lena will eventually meet her without knowing that Lena hasn’t been in National City since long before her first attempt to see her in person.” Isla nodded along, listening to Alex intently and that gave Alex a spark of hope that things might actually turn out better than she had thought it would.  Optimism had never been her strong suit, everyone knew Kara was the ray of hope and as positive as sunshine after all.  “So, ever since she found out that Lena left without a word she has become … a danger to herself in every way possible.  Before this she had only ever gotten drunk a few times in her life but now she has shown up to work either hungover still or drunk once when there was a work emergency just enough times for it to be disconcerting though not entirely out of line.  And not only that, but she is now extremely careless and has been putting herself in tremendous danger.  She has not gone a week without being seen for various injuries for more than three days in the last eight months.  Ever since she found out Lena left she hasn’t really smiled much, she never seems like she’s there when she shows up to hang out with friends, but most of all … I think she’s trying to kill herself whether it is intentional or not, whether she realizes that that is what she’s doing or not.  I’m scared that one day I’m going to get a call that my sister didn’t make it, that she died saving someone else’s life.  Suicide dressed up as a heroic act instead.  I don’t know for sure, but that’s the scariest part. The way she’s been acting, I can’t help but fear that she is in fact suicidal and it hurts knowing that nothing I’ve said or done has helped.”

Isla swallowed hard and gave Alex a few moments to compose herself, tears having gathered in her eyes before she couldn’t hold them back anymore, too distraught over the thought of her sister succeeding one day.  After Alex calmed down a bit, Isla finally spoke up.  “What is it that you want from me exactly, Alex?”

“All I want is to tell Lena that she might not have a chance to talk to Kara and fix their friendship if that’s what she wants to do before Kara manages to kill herself in some act of heroism.  If she doesn’t want to live with that regret then she better let me talk to her and let her know where things stand right now.”  Alex’s voice was strong this time, despite the sorrow still coating her heavy eyes.

“How about I make you a cup of tea and we can sit at the table while we wait for Lena then?”  Alex couldn’t believe her ears and she was sure her jaw was hanging from the shock of hearing those words.

“Of course.  Thank you.”  Isla simply smiled and hoped she was doing the right thing by everyone involved.