#a big accomplishment for me. 'did you change the name of the fic'

[casiavium]

as much as it's fun to write and I'm fairly good at it I kind of hate the way when I add any comedy into fic that's the only thing readers focus on :/

[starkwlkr]

that’s my type | mark webber

an: ok so this is another random idea i came up with when i was watching deadpool and wolverine so stick with me here lol. a couple of things that are changed just for this fic, so the reader will be portraying selene gallio, who is a marvel character. i personally haven’t read EVERY comic so pls don’t comment how i got things from marvel comics wrong 😭 ITS FANFICTION (also don’t mind the age gap, it’s not specific so yeah go wild with that)

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liked by _annapaquin, chrisevans and 673,377 others

yourusername found an old friend and my old costume fits ❤️

aussiegrit lovely as always ❤️

loscartears prayers to mark (he’s not dead, his gf just has to act in a movie with her ex boyfriend that she dated for 6 years)

oscarpiastri set visit soon?

yourusername I’ll see you soon x

thehughjackman we still got it, moony! 👊🏻

yourusername we never lost it, wolvie 🫶🏻

americass NOT THE NICKNAMES I CANT HANDLE THIS

formulahoes can someone explain the nicknames? i’m not a huge marvel fan

peter3stan i got you! both in the comics and movies, selene and logan have nicknames for each other. logan calls her moony because her name literally means the moon and selene calls him wolvie because it’s a shorter and cute version of wolverine.

paddockstyle mark is probably crying in the corner now 😭

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liked by yourusername, jensonbutton and 23,366 others

aussiegrit a big congratulations to the wonderfully talented yourusername! you did it again! I’m so proud of you and all you’ve accomplished. i’m sorry I can’t be with you at your premiere but when i see you again expect lots of hugs and kisses. ❤️ (here’s a throwback to one of the many movie premieres i did attend 😉)

yourusername mark 🥹 I LOVE YOU

op818181 bro couldn’t stand the hugh and y/n edits 😭

lacyyyohlacyyy as a marvel and f1 fan…this is the most entertained I’ve been all week

fromedenbitch i say let them be a throuple

bettercallmytherapist just came back from seeing deadpool and wolverine… mark is really gonna be fighting for his life for the next month or year lol

thehughjackman ❤️

ynstylearchive hey siri play the other woman

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[st4rgzer]

THE FIRST TIME matt sturniolo

summary: you come to terms with the use of pet names, finally

genre: fluff

cw!: just kissing

a/n: I have to stop writing fics when I have to go to sleep.

“some part of me came alive, the first time that you called me baby”

I was never really fond of pet names, in fact, every time I heard someone call their partner “bunny” or “baby” i physically felt repulsed, the feeling of intimacy being a cursed subject to me. They never rolled off my tongue as smoothly as others would do so, maybe cause I never heard them much growing up.

My head was placed between his collarbone and his stomach, laid down on the sofa watching as Matt scrolled down his fyp, quietly observing fondly. I rarely craved affection, or asking for it. But with Matt it was kind of like second nature, his hand fit so comfortably in mine, my head in the crook of his neck, like the missing puzzles to a jigsaw I had so yearningly wanted to complete for an eternity.

His hand stroked my hair gently, easing the tension I had built up throughout the busy, busy day i’d had. I hummed peacefully, fluttering my eyes closed, as his fingers treaded lightly against my scalp.

When suddenly he stopped doing so.

“baby why’d you stop?” I mumbled with my eyes half lidded. He looked at me surprised, wide eyed.

“did you just call me baby?” He laughed slightly, sitting up straighter.

“maybe?” I questioned, wincing at the realization that the word “baby” the word I had scribbled out of every romance book cause it killed the mood every time. Had just ever so easily rolled off my tongue, as if i’d said it 100 times prior.

He grinned at me, wrapping his arm around my shoulder, squeezing it slightly, and brushing his nose against my neck before placing a sweet, lingering kiss on my cheek. I was relieved he passed on the subject discreetly instead of having to discuss it like it was a big thing, but weirdly, the pet name hadn’t felt weird coming out my mouth, in fact, it felt natural. Strange how one person can change so much your opinions on vast things, even when you’re so keenly set on it.

“Matt?” He hummed softly. “I think I liked calling you “baby”” I said, stuttering slightly before the last word.

“yeah?” He asked, enthusiastic about me coming to terms with something he loved so dearly. He’d do it way too often, regularly using “baby”, “darling”, “babe” more than my own name, I didn’t complain, it felt right coming from me, it was sweet.

I smiled at my accomplishment to actually be able to do so as well, I loved him, and I wanted to express it with little words too.

a/n: i realized it sounds like that “omg did you call me baby? maybe, is that ok?” song. Also i apologize for this. It’s 11pm.

taglist: @gabbylovesreading @dwntwn-strnlo @oneirophobic @iha8you @lovelysturniolo @lvrsparadise @ifilwtmfc @stvrni0lo @ssturniolo @strniolo

[cilil]

Hi, do you have any advices for budding writers on AO3 or here?

Hey! :)

I've given this some thought and compiled what I hope might be some helpful pointers, but if there's anything else or anything specific you want to hear more about, feel free to ask again. Also I'm assuming this is about the amazing craft of fanfic and not, uh, building a platform or whatever (I wouldn't be very helpful with that, I'm a nobody x)).

Share what you feel comfortable sharing.

So since you're asking about budding writers on AO3 and Tumblr, I take it you're at a point where you feel comfortable sharing your writing online, which is amazing. Nevertheless, I feel the need to once again mention (just for anyone who may be in the same or a similar situation) that it's completely alright not to be comfortable with it (yet) or not to share everything you write. I share almost everything simply because I'm annoying and it makes me feel accomplished and since I've grown pretty comfortable with it, I might as well; but not everyone feels that way and feelings also change. It's completely alright to write just for yourself or a small circle of friends.

Don't worry too much about "being good".

I will be the first to admit that I deeply relate to struggling with perfectionism when it comes to writing (and other creative pursuits). However, as someone who's been reading fic for many years, tends to be into quite niche and obscure things sometimes and is rarely spoiled by big fandoms' abundance of food, I want all writers, especially new ones, to know that you don't have to write the most amazing, perfect, publishing-ready pieces. What matters is your passion and creativity, which will show in your writing regardless of skill level. Not to mention that fic is free and in fact a tool for many to experiment.

That's not to say you can't strive to improve or be good - by all means, I find it admirable if you want to hone your craft and make progress as you continue to write. Just don't let perfectionism ruin your fun and stifle your creativity.

How to get better without trying overly hard.

Aside from just writing, writing and writing (that is the most important part though), how do you improve without making it a point to do so? Well, if it works for you to read/watch guides or you enjoy specific writing exercises, that's great, but one thing that I find gets overlooked a lot in writing spaces is simply: Reading. Just reading for fun.

I find that I often discover little things in other people's writing that I really like and then I think to myself "wow, that's really neat how they did that, maybe I could take a page out of their book" (pun intended) and make it a point to pay attention to these things when I write. Essentially, it's like creating a nice patchwork blanket which is your style, made up of your own voice and preferences as a writer and cool stuff you picked up on the road.

Let me just name some examples, which, yes, are also an excuse to shamelessly blow some writer friends of mine a well-deserved kiss of appreciation. @sauron-kraut writes incredibly polished short stories with beautiful wording and atmosphere that have a lot of little hidden things to discover and dissect, and I want to steal her ability to set the stage and hide those easter eggs. @a-world-of-whimsy-5 is an absolute legend when it comes to writing medieval and medieval-adjacent stuff, and I learned so much from her fics. @i-did-not-mean-to has a way of writing with such esprit and wit that I always end up in a good mood after, a style of narrative voice I've adored for over a decade, and I've greatly improved my humorous writing in particular thanks to her. @crackinthecup has the marvelous ability to craft extremely emotionally evocative scenes, which have encouraged me to be more courageous and experimental in my sentence melody and structure. @tragedybunny has a way of writing that reminds me of coming home to a warm and comfy place, and I will find out how she did it and how I can do it as well.

So as you can see, it can be super helpful to compare notes with your fellow writers. Never be discouraged by someone else's ability; instead learn and expand your own.

Feedback, criticism and community.

Let me just get one thing out of the way: You don't have to take criticism from everyone. Or at all. As far as I understand, the fanfic community has come to to agree that we're doing this for fun and don't give criticism unprompted/when we aren't sure it's wanted or welcome. As a general rule: Take criticism from those you would also seek advice from. Ask for feedback if you feel comfortable, and if not, that's a valid boundary to have and I will gently smack anyone who presumes to pick apart writing that was made for fun and generously shared with the community for free.

The community aspect, however, should be taken into account on other fronts. While I won't tell anyone they have to interact and believe that, in an ideal world, everyone's writing would just speak for itself, it is helpful to engage with the community. Things you can do (both on Tumblr and AO3 if also applicable/possible) include: Respond to people interacting with your works, interacting with other people's works (for example while you're doing your reading sessions and looking at other writers' styles) and just overall being present, being talkative, going with the flow.

Again, this is not a must. But I will say that pretty much all of us want positive responses and interactions on their work and that just won't work if you expect everyone to show up for you all the time and never show up for anyone else. Engagement, passion and community are our "currency" in the absence of money and reciprocity is an important element of that. A lot of friction and complaints in the fanfic community regarding lack of interaction or entitlement are rooted in misunderstandings of this fundamental principle.

But don't take this in a cynical manner. Seek out what you enjoy, share the joy and passion and you'll make friends just accidentally - which is the part that I find makes fandom on AO3 and Tumblr so much fun! (I don't even want to be a "traditional" author anymore, I want this instead😁)

Find your groove and groove along.

Lastly, make sure your writing is fun for you or else it'll become a chore and eventually get ruined for you as a hobby. This is unfortunately a continuous task as your needs and interests shift - for example you might be in the mood to do an entire drabble challenge one month and during another month you feel so drained that you couldn't do another one. Or you might want to write something different for a change. Or whatever it may be.

Either way, one recent lesson I've learned is that I got too tied up in obligations and it left no space for spontaneous inspiration, so I never got to write what I wanted to write in the moment and it pushed me quite close to burnout. Do yourself a favor and always hold that space for yourself. In practice, this could for example mean that you do one event and on the side write this cool new idea you had, instead of doing three events - which is fun and games until it starts getting too much and you don't have time for your passion projects.

Finding your groove also includes the whole technical aspect, such as which writing programs you use, which device (or none at all), where you write, how to make yourself comfortable, how to get in the right headspace for things. I would also like to encourage all of you to be a bit crazy and whimsical about this: For example I've gone to the perfume store, picked out a scent for a specific character in a specific scene and sniffed it while writing the description several times now. Do what it takes. And say goodbye to your squeaky clean search history - you will research some weird stuff just to get that one line right.

So yeah, these are just my random thoughts on fic writing and what has been helpful in order for me to have lots of fun with this hobby. Happy writing!

[treefory]

An offer you can’t turn down?

A 1,018 word fic that’s 95% monologue and 5% dialogue. I won’t let Capo and Hector have a break lol.

He found himself staring off the edge of the cliff of grove cove. Pink waters flowed in paths around the islands and dipped into tall waterfalls that led to the ocean below. The sounds of the crashing water almost completely drowned out the sounds of the bizzyboys playing volleyball behind him.

He pulled a cigarette from his pocket and with a few tries with his lighter, he had it lit in his mouth. The salty air drifted the smoke away after every draw. He always appreciated every bit of down time while he was on the clock.

Things are different now. Almost a month ago, the world almost ended. Inspekta fell from godhood and became human again. Everything seemed to change in one day.

“Heya capo!” A familiar voice called from behind- no, Nostalgic was a better word instead of familiar.

Capochin turned to face Inspek- wrong name, he turned to face Hector. His voice was different compared to when he was a god. It was older but still sounded the exact same when he ascended 33 years ago. Like hearing an old song from your childhood that brought back so many memories.

He still looked the same too. His dark blue curly hair that fell over his shoulders, A red and yellow sweater that was tucked into his pants, And A black button nose below his big red glasses. Other than some new wrinkles that decorated his face he looked the exact same way he did the day he became a god.

…The day he became Inspekta

“Yeah?” Capochin replied gruffly. It was so weird having Hector back. He wasn’t used to his boss being able to just walk up to him. A part of him missed the days where he chose when to see him.

“We’re all a getin shaboingboings.” Hector gestured over a nearby hotdog stand. But the way he said it was off. It was a command- an order- a demand. Not a question, but a fact.

A month ago, Capochin would have never batted an eye to his words. A devoted follower of the “one and only god” would never question his leader. He did whatever he said like how he was meant to. Workers answer to the boss and do as they’re told.

He has been there since day one. His first follower to bow to his feet. To hang on his every word. To be the god he prayed to when he felt his lowest and the god he thanked when he felt his highest. 33 years of pure loyalty to his eldest friend.

The way he cooked for him his favorite meal, burgers with tomato, lettuce, pickles, and steak. The meat was personal. A perfect representation of him giving himself up for his god. And he did it every day for him.

He’d watch inspekta take the first bite, and swoon when the flavor hit his tongue. His heart would skip a beat just by the look on his face.

He loves it

He loves me

He’d go to the end of the earth for his god. He’d destroy the world for his god. Rule over everyone with his one and only god. Then will they be equal, Side by side, together

“Nah” Capochin turned away, back to the ocean, and took a breath from his cigarette.

“What?” Hector faltered “but-“

“I’m not going” he deadpanned

All of that was 33 years ago. On his knees begging for something- ANYTHING more than praise. Give him an inch of respect and I’d feel like a yard- no, a mile!

And nothing

For 3 decades, treated like his dog. ‘Capo, deliver this letter!’ “Capo, put up more poy-sters!” “Capo, more burgies!” Capochin didn’t even sound like a name anymore when you toss it around like that.

It’s not even his real name. a name earned through accomplishments, how many letters were there now? Yet a name he clung on to with every fiber of his being. It was his worth

Everything he was worth to inspekta

But he’s gone now.

“But why not?” Hector challenged, his words had a layer of confusion to cover hostility

What? Not used to him saying no?

“Cuz I don’t want too” he said with a shrug

But he did want to. So so badly. A terrible force of habit. He was the god of leadership for a reason. His voice really was like a melody that you couldn’t help but get lost in.

That song was stuck in his head for 33 cobdanm years. This earworm told him to end the world and he danced along to the rhythm. Like a good little dog who only answered to his master

But he was tired of being his bitch

“And I don’t got to, if I don’t want to.” Capochin finished

Hector paused, he knew this ran deeper than not wanting hotdogs. “Capochin…” he held onto his own tail “I’m sorry.”

He didn’t answer

“I know I put yew threw a lot for a long time. And it’s just… I’m so, so sorry for what I did.” He began wringing his tail in his hands “but, fwom human to human, let’s just hang out! Like old times!”

Capochin took a drag “I appreciate the sentiment…” he took the used up cigarette from his mouth and stamped it out on the ground “but I don’t forgive you, and I don’t think I ever will.”

That hurts to admit. Would he really never? Not today at least. Too many raw feelings to stuff down. Jealousy, hatred, stress, admiration… love? There was no way to fit all that junk into a neat box. You Have to wait for it to cook down before it could fit.

“Oh… okay. Sorry for botherin’ yew.” He choked. With his tail still clutched in his hands, he turned and began walking away.

Capochin looked back and yelled “AND PUT YOUR TAIL DOWN! You want even more bandages?!”

“No sir!” Hector dropped his tail as he called back and hastily returned to the bizzyboys.

Even after all those years, he still couldn’t help but care.

[foxwitchaine]

What red flags do you think Adrien has?

First and foremost, Adrien hasn't changed during the series. Like, at all. If this had been any other series with a "Status Quo is God" mentality, I wouldn't be so nitpicky. The problem is we were promised plot all the way back in Season 2. And plot typically involves characters changing, growing, and developing along the way. I know I'm gonna sound like a broken record, but Avatar: The Last Airbender is pretty much the gold standard of what kid's shows nowadays should aspire to be like. The old "it's for kids" excuse is only gonna go so far when we've had gems such as ATLA, the Batman Animated Series, the OG Justice League, the OG Teen Titans, heck even anime like Sailor Moon and Dragon Ball Z on air. I'm personally not a fan of Dragon Ball Z, but even I can acknowledge what Akira Toriyama accomplished.

Those works also weren't afraid to get dark and scary while still being age-appropriate. Something modern kid's cartoons can all learn from, be it Disney, Cartoon Network, or even Nickelodeon. And something they all have in common? A strong and well-structured plot. Emphasis on "well-structured". I can't claim to know what goes on in the writing room of Miraculous Ladybug, but it's painfully clear hardly anyone knows what they're doing. And it's resulted in the "plot" of the show turning into a tangled tumbleweed drifting across the desert of discarded but better-written ideas.

Whatever the metaphor is, anyway.

Let's continue.

Adrien's second biggest red flag is his continuous defense of characters like Chloe and more recently Lila. I'm admittedly ignoring Season 4 onward because I cannot fathom disrespecting your characters (and audience) so much you turn a kid's show into your own vanity project just to stroke your ego. But that's beside the point.

Adrien has the unfortunate habit of defending problematic people like pre-"redemption" Chloe (I use that word loosely as I'm doing my own Chloe redemption in my fic with Rafe) and Lila. You could argue that it's because of the way his father raised him. But it defeats the whole purpose of Adrien getting to go to school.

School is a place where you learn and grow. And figure out how to deal with unpleasant stuff, such as bullying, incompetent teachers, and apathetic faculty (I'm telling on myself, I just know). The problem is that Adrien, despite all his chances to figure out how to unlearn the behaviors Gabriel instilled in him, has not once made any active attempts to improve himself. Yeah. I know. I may be a little too harsh on him, but that's because I saw potential in Adrien to be much better than he is now. Disregarding the Sentimonster theory being confirmed (again, I'm also ignoring that), Adrien's stagnation is very telling of both the character and the writers. No matter what happens in the show, the universe bends itself backwards to acknowledge his existence. Do you know what that's called in writing?

A Mary Sue. Or, in Adrien's case, a Marty Stu. You could argue that Marinette is a Mary Sue, but she gets torn down so much in the show the argument is pretty much moot.

Do note that this is not aimed to tear down anyone who's written Mary Sues or Marty Stus. I've created several of my own in my early days as a writer. Who hasn't. The thing is, though, as I grew up, so did my characters and my writing.

Adrien hasn't grown up since the start of the show. And that's very telling.

Then there's the third biggest red flag of Adrien: his behavior as Chat Noir. I know it feels unfair to use that against him, but it's been stated multiple times that Chat Noir is, in essence, Adrien's true self without his everyday mask.

If that is who he is without any limits, then I want him as far away from me as possible.

Preferably, with a restraining order.

I have yet to figure out why this keeps happening when Hollywood and other big-name studios write romance — even by female authors and writers — but it has to stop. Men, most sane women prefer it if you accept the first "no" as an answer. That goes for you too, ladies. No, I don't care if this pisses anyone off. I'm an equal-opportunity realist. And I'm gonna say something that will likely have people calling for my head on a pike:

Relationships in general are built on mutual trust and communication. It's hard work maintaining a healthy relationship, it really is. But more often than not, it's one of the most fulfilling things anyone can possibly dream of. No, this doesn't mean everyone is obligated to say yes to romance. There are those who choose to avoid romance altogether.

And that's perfectly fine. I just happen to be a romantic who enjoys romance. That's my personal preference (no, this doesn't mean I like red flags).

The writers of Miraculous Ladybug seem to be under the impression that teenagers should hook up with the first hot person they meet. And that's a very dangerous message to spread. Because what if the first hot person they meet is a domestic abuser? Or worse: a criminal who has no issue using whatever they can to control and dominate their partner.

Adrien — and by proxy, Chat Noir — has displayed behavior that's alarmingly similar to domestic abusers despite his sunshine persona. He's destroyed property because Ladybug told him "no" (Sentibubbler). He set up a date even though Ladybug told him she had plans, then had the audacity to get huffy and upset about it (Glaciator). He's lied to someone about his relationship with her, then blamed her for the resulting akuma.

Note that the last example was from Copycat, a Season 1 episode. Which bears the disturbing implication that this is an ongoing issue, not a one-time problem.

Adrien Agreste had potential to be a great character.

It's too bad the writers have stressed he's too perfect to change.

[mischievouslittlecreature]

Part 9: Bound in Blood

Summary: To some, the blood bond is as sacred as marriage.

Word Count: 1,979

Warnings: Blood, self-inflected injuries, and smut.

Notes: Today (April 29) is Lucy's birthday! I couldn't find much concrete information on blood bonds, so apologies if I got some of the details wrong or had to fudge any of the real-life aspects of these bonds to accomplish what I intended in this fic. Don't try this at home, kids; blood-born illnesses are a thing.

Previous Part • Series • Next Part

The knife stung as it bit into the flesh of her left palm. Blood, like red pearls, beaded at the first prick, then rushed from the wound in a small gush as she increased pressure on the blade and it sliced deeper into her flesh. She dragged it across nearly the full length of her palm, leaving a diagonal, bleeding line from the base of her index finger to the heel of her palm opposite the side of her thumb in its wake. 

When Tommy had asked her what she thought about marriage, she had been honest with him. Her feelings were conflicted. All her life, marriage had seemed to be akin to a cage. She’d watched women–not just her mother, though she was certainly the most potent example–have their entire beings almost entirely stripped away, until nothing, not even their name, remained. Nothing but a maid, housekeeper, nanny, and whore all rolled into one.  

Perhaps she was being a bit harsh, but that was the example of marriage she had been exposed to for almost her entire life.

And it did not ultimately matter what Tommy wanted, either. She knew it was never his desire to cage or chain her. But it would not be up to him. Society had a very particular expectation for women who were married. And if he wanted to stand even a miniscule of a chance of being accepted into the circles he longed to be a part of, he could not have an unconventional wife. At least not now. 

Perhaps someday, with the changing times and more modern outlooks…if equal rights for women ever truly properly took off, then maybe. But not right now. 

And she would be a rubbish wife. Bored out of her mind. She detested cleaning, was an absolute disaster when it came to knitting and sewing, and she was certain that sitting at home with the knowledge that her husband and his boys were out enjoying all the action and thrills of the life without her, would eat away at her. 

She never had handled the feeling of being left out very well. 

She’d grow to resent it. Resent her life. Maybe even resent him. And that was not something she was willing to risk. 

He had been startlingly understanding, all things considered, when she explained her feelings to him. He knew her so well, he probably had half been expecting it. He’d just stroked her hair, kissing the top of her head. 

“I don’t need a ring and a certificate to know that I’m going to love you forever,” he’d told her. She’d locked her arms around his neck, stretching up on her toes to touch her forehead to his. 

“I plan to love you forever too,” she’d affirmed. And she meant it. Just because she could not say yes to being his wife, did not mean that they didn’t intend to be together for the rest of their lives.  

“But the door is always open. If you ever decide someday that you do want it,” Tommy had promised. Her brows raised, she’d looked at him with eyes that were only half joking. 

“Really? What if you end up marrying someone else?”

He’d scoffed at the mere suggestion, but must have caught the seriousness behind the teasing tone in her voice, because he’d pulled her closer, fondly kissing her nose. “Doesn’t matter. The promise still stands,”  he’d shrugged as if it were no big deal. “You decide you want me to marry you, and I’m already married, I’ll just get divorced.”

Laughing, she’d shook her head. “I don’t think you can ‘just get divorced,’ love. It would fuck your reputation.”

He shrugged again. “Would be worth it,” her laughter faded at the dead seriousness she saw in his eyes as he tucked a stray curl behind her ear. “I’d do anything for you.”

There was something about the way he’d said it, the complete and total certainty, that made her nearly want to cry. No one had ever loved her like this before. 

Completely. Passionately. Unconditionally. 

“There’s something else we could do. In the place of an official, legal marriage. If you’re interested,” he’d suggested, voice but a tempting purr in her ear. And when she looked at him, brow raised with intrigue, he smirked devilishly. 

And so here they were, kneeling in front of each other on the rug in the bedroom of her flat, each of them clutching a dagger in one hand, drawing it across their palms. Lucy watched the blood ooze from her cut, slightly flexing her fingers. She set the knife aside, looking from the warm, red gush to see Tommy doing the same, the dark red of his blood striking against the pale white of his skin.

He looked up, sky blue eyes glimmering in the low light of the candles they’d lit. Her eyes traced over the sharp lines of his jaw and cheeks, softened slightly by the freckles dotting his skin. Those eyes that could be as cold as ice or as warm as a sunny sky boring into her. Dark fringe falling over his forehead. When it was less styled, like it was now, he could have almost been described as a little boyish.  

The blood pooling in both of their palms dripped between their fingers. Sticky and warm.

Slowly, being careful so as to not jostle the cuts too much, they pressed their palms flush against each, then, just as slowly, interlaced their fingers.

Lucy gasped quietly at the feeling of his cut kissing hers. Their blood mixing together. Pouring into each other. Running through the other’s veins. 

If they had not already been one being simply split in two before, they certainly were now. Lucy shuddered, Tommy’s free hand going around her waist and pulling her a little closer, keeping their bleeding palms clasped tightly together. She tilted her head up, nose brushing along his neck and jaw as she did. He dipped his head to kiss her, deeply and open mouthed, the slow stroke of his tongue against hers making her moan softly against his plush lips. 

To some, the blood bond was as sacred as marriage. An unbreakable intermixing of the two bloods. The closest thing one could get to entwining their soul with another. Not only was it a symbol of the deepest possible love and trust, but also a silent promise of eternal devotion. A bond that would last as long as the scars remained present on their skin. A permanent mark tying them together for as long as they both lived. 

Of all the scars marking her flesh, faded but never truly to disappear, this was the only one she would ever truly be happy to have.     

His blood ran in her veins, now. He was a part of her. Forever.   

She’d have wanted it no other way.  

She kissed him back hard, the hand not clasped in his landing on his chest, feeling the steady rise of his breathing and the thump of his heart. Their palms squeezed impossibly tighter against each other, the blood coating them slick, smearing all across their palms, impossible to tell which belonged to whom. 

When they finally parted for air, foreheads resting against each other, they looked down together at their still clasped, bloody hands. 

It was done. 

Tommy’s arm around her waist tightened, somehow pulling her even closer to him, his lips on her forehead. Lucy closed her eyes. He was so impossibly warm, body large and strong and safe around her. She could have stayed like that forever. 

“I love you more than anything,” he said, and the words left tears brimming in her eyes. The weight of those words was not lost on her. 

“I love you too,” she said, angling her face up to his. “More than anything.” 

He smiled at her softly, head dipping to kiss her one last time before they parted, and his fingers flexed a little around hers. Their mixed blood was starting to run down both of their wrists. 

“We should get bandaged up. Before we both bleed everywhere,” he mumbled. 

“Mm,” she nuzzled at his chest. “Yeah.”

He reached for the gauze and bandages they’d set to the side in preparation. Some of the blood had congealed, half sticking their palms together, and it took a little bit of gentle fidgeting to pull them apart. Lucy hissed as Tommy poured a helping of alcohol over her cut, leaning into the kiss he brushed against her temple in apology. They cleaned and bandaged each other’s cuts with quick, practiced movements, examining their handiwork critically to ensure it was satisfactory and wouldn’t leave the other open to any complications or difficulty in healing.

Once that was done, Tommy was gathering her back up into his arms again, kissing her everywhere he would possibly reach. She giggled, overjoyed at the blatant display of affection, returning it as eagerly as she knew how. Strong arms scooping her up by the back of her thighs, he lifted her up onto his hips, standing in one fluid motion and carrying her towards the bed.  

Still kissing, they collapsed in an entanglement of limbs onto the mattress. Clothes were shed hastily, and then there was just the sounds of pleasure and utterances of love filling the room. Her fingers clenching in his hair as he kissed his way down her body, lips, tongue, and fingers working together once he’d reached his destination to make her cry out, back arching off the bed. 

And then he was over her again, wiping his mouth and looking far too pleased with himself. He grinned when she needily dragged his mouth back to hers, legs wrapping around his waist, eager. They both cried out when he sank into her in one deep thrust, the penetration serving as the second unioning of their bodies that evening. 

The bedframe creaked with the pace of their love making; thrusts steady, slow, and deep. Lucy clutched to him as tightly as she could, never wanting to let him go. Never wanting to have to spend another moment of her life without him. 

She’d given him her soul. And in exchange he’d gifted her his heart. And now, with their blood running through each other’s veins, it was as if the merging of their beings had finally completed. They were one now. No one and nothing could ever tear them apart. 

She cried out his name when his cock hit the spot inside her that made her see stars, his thumb rubbing circles into her clit. Her head tipped back against the pillows, babbling nonsense about how good he always was to her. How he always took care of her. How he knew her more deeply and intimately than anyone else ever could. 

When her walls squeezed around him, Tommy moaned her name like it was a prayer. Like it was the most precious thing in the entire world. And then his lips were at her ear, whispering over and over again how much he loved her. That she felt so good. That he promised to love her for as long as he breathed. Maybe even after that. 

She came with a sob of his name against his lips as he kissed her, felt it as he came with her at the exact same moment, filling her with a groan, hips rolling to a stop to rest inside of her as he emptied while she tightened around him like a vice. For hours, or maybe only minutes, neither of them moved, just laying there, holding each other as tight as they could. 

Later, Tommy laid reclined against the pillows, with Lucy cuddled securely in her spot on his chest. And there, in the dark and quiet of night, they traced each other’s bandaged cuts, and whispered promises of eternal love.

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Thank you for reading! Please consider leaving a comment, reblog, or like. I always appreciate feedback and love getting the opportunity to interact with you and hear your thoughts!

[heymrspatel]

✨Weekly Tag Wednesday ✨

i was tagged by @jrooc @stocious @michellemisfit @thepupperino @doshiart @sgtmickeyslaughter @gallapiech @blue-disco-lights @mmmichyyy @lingy910y @pookiebearmick @gallawitchxx @energievie and @gardenerian thank you lovelies!

Name and A03 handle: julissa | heymrspatel

Current Location: on my couch, slowly melting into the cushions. i'm so tired.

Favorite picrew (don't have one? you can skip this or do this one)? these two for sure! i think they capture my vibe well lol one & two

What's one thing you want in a picrew? ah! well, since i often start them i have a list of things that i usually look for to make sure that they're inclusive. sometimes i forget to check for certain things and then i'm annoyed lmao.

but ideally: big selection of skin tones, undercuts, the option for tied hair, short haircuts, different types of hair textures and colors, facial hair, scars, and big big ups if there's an option to change face shapes! THIS IS SERIOUS BUSINESS!

for me though: curly hair and big blushy (and fangs if available)

Favourite thing you’ve created (or seen created) for the fandom? oh this is hard. i'll say, fluffy art: "doesn't matter where we go man", spicy art: "i need you to touch me"

Why is it your favourite? fluffy: because i went crazy with the details. i love that it tells a story. i love the colors i used. i love that pane of them watching the sunset. i love hands - hand on thigh, hand kiss, hand under shirt.

spicy: so. much. skin. i love all the positions i put them in. i love how it's sensual and teasing but you can't really see any of the "action" haha. tongues and chain and bruising. i love hands - hand in mouth, hand on neck, hand in hair.

Did it come easily or was it hard to create? HARD! lmao everything i make is hard to me. some things come easier now, but i really do drag my limp body all the way to the end.

Last ao3 fic you commented on? "keep you by my side" by biblionerd07!

Biggest WIP heartache you’ve ever experienced? ...things beyond mistake. i'm glad most of us are on the same painful page.

Favorite trope or head cannon you like included in a fanfic? i love friends/fwb to lovers and slice of life and outsider povs! also, only one bed or when they get stuck somewhere alone. ooooooh and i LOVE a good texting fic!

Least favourite? eeeh very iffy on the kid fics, depends on the writer. or mpreg. or big deaths.

Secret or surprising kink or trope? idk that anything's a secret? i'm out here giving you guys full visuals during kinktober...

Describe how you feel after you’ve created something new? ah- very vulnerable. accomplished but nervous. i literally post and run away.

Top hype man you have that always helps you get across the finish line: i usually keep whatever i'm working on under wraps for no reason other than i'm self conscious! but @whatthebodygraspsnot always cheers me on and is the most supportive and sends me the most eloquent keyboard smashes to keep a girl going!

It's been a bad day, you turn to the fandom and you _____? scroll through tumblr and, when my brain is cooperating on reading (it hasn't been), turn to my comfort fics!

i'm skipping the tag cause i'm late and i'm feeling weird! but i hope everyone's having a nice night/day/time zone!! 💙

[suffarustuffaru]

Out of all the fanfiction you've ever written which one is your favorite

ooh good question anon :o mwuahaha probably self-l - *gets shot*

but anyway jokes aside i thinkkk my favorite fic out of the ones ive written probably changes to be like. the most recent one usually, just bc thats like what i wrote in the present and i usually try to really look over my writing before i post HAH.

but i do like a good number of my fics in different ways - im super fond of every collab ive ever done, they were super fun and i love working with pals, i also think ashes ashes (that one pride if subaru fic i made about his first 82 ish loops) was an important milestone for me bc it was the first time i wrote That much and really tried to extrapolate stuff from rezero canon so it's a big accomplishment for me!! kite academy also took a looot of work and juggling different stuff and it May be only one ch1 finished but its a really great piecee of work - and genuinely fics like self love i spent a looot of time on doing research and trying to figure out how to write. Everything. in it for my parts of it (you dont wanna know the heinous things i researched while writing that LMFAO). also genuinely people tell me they still like a lot of my older stuff too which always warms my heart.

i think my current top favorite would probably be Natsuki Subaru and the Tale of the Lost Names though :> it is like. 32k words of pure chaos with one of my favorite richard siken poems in it as like an excerpt and it was really Really hard to write for a variety of reasons and bc there was so many different things to tackle and handle with actual nuance but the end result i feel is pretty complex with a lot to look into!! i heard a lot of feedback on that fic bc i turned it in for a fic contest so a bunch of different people gave their thoughts on it so!! i thiiiink it got the intended effect i wanted :3 i remember rereading it a few weeks ago with a fresh mind bc i havent looked at it in so long and i was like GODDAMN HOW THE HELL DID I DO ALL OF THAT - bc its superrr funny to me most of my writing process was the messiest notes ever paired with me writing about 10k or so words in a whole week while high on dr. pepper specifically <3

also ig shoutout to hot potatoes. its my most popular fic still (i totally get it, its an rbd reveal fic HAH) but also like it's spread through my friends in this fandom like a virus. same with self love. except self love was like mostly my fault but like one of the funniest things thats happened to me in this fandom was definitely MULTIPLE MUTUALS QUOTING MY OWN FICS BACK AT ME...... this is like the stop posting about amogus rezero meme video all over again (i say this with love). but other than that i do appreciate how much people seem to like hot potatoes and a lot of my other fics!! and i definitely really enjoy the art my cowriters have made with our collabs <3

and shoutout to satellite. one of my proudest achievements (writing emilia content that i Like <3).

thanks for the ask anon hope you didnt mind my yapping :3

[clevercatchphrase]

2023 Year In Review~

at the time of me writing this, it is 8:11pm on tuesday night, january second. Let's see how long it takes me to type this entire thing. I expect no less than two hours. This is gonna be a long one, so I'm gonna put it under a read-more. Proceed only if you dare!

So! Another year down, another begun, and this is my.... 5th? time looking back on my year and assessing what I accomplished and what I did. Lots of changes and new things happened to me this year! Not nearly as many good things as bad! But first I'm gonna dig up my old resolutions list and see how well I did on them. Let's see... for 2023 I had 9 goals, six of which were serious and 3 of which were more casual. those goals were;

Read 12 new books in a year (one book a month)

Finish the Snowdin Arc before Ghost Switch's 5th birthday

Rewrite the 3rd draft of my Nanowrimo project from 2021/22

Write 4 one-shots for BSaPT

Solidify the details of the waterfall arc

The one secret goal

Finish writing the last 4 chapters of Clemency and finally post the dang thing

build a comic buffer of 8 pages, and finally,

write the crack fic

Of these nine goals, I achived... 4 of them, those being reading 12 books, finishing the snowdin arc before june 18th, rewriting my 2021 nanowrimo project, and finalizing the waterfall arc for Ghost Switch. All of these were serious goals, which I am proud of! but it was still less than half, which was a little disappointing. As in past years, I'll go into more detail below:

Read 12 books I BLEW THIS ONE OUT OF THE WATER! the grand total of books I read this year was THIRTY-SIX! three times as many! In fact, I forced myself to stop in order to have more books to read for 2024! Most of the books I listened to this year were through librivox, and mostly on my commute to work. Great way to pass the time! I wrote short little notes about the books I read on a personal discord with only me in it, so let me see if I can just copy and paste all of that here... (all of my original notes will be italicized, while additional thoughts on it now will not be)

1) Jonathan Livingston Seagull. Short, cute! Inspirational. About self actualization. Read by richard Harris. People call this a demonic book?? Apparently a fourth part added in 2014. Look it up later. (Edit; I never did look it up later. there's an audiobook for this on youtube, and while the voice is nice, there is, like, a solid 10 minute segment with a single violin note playing in the background and it is GRATING) 2) fire bed and bone. Ok. Middle of the road. Too focused on people and not the dog, but I get that's the point. it's ~symbolic~. Like the use of no dialogue and no name for the main dog 3) dogs of the spires book 1: reads like fan fiction (derogatory). Sentences go on for 4 or 5 words too long. Used the word orbs for eyes 3 times. Duke is ALWAYS FUCKING GRINNING. Half-brother reveal makes no sense and comes out of nowhere. How… Big/old is Step? Talks waaay too mature for a kid. What happened to Twig? Very tell and not show. Pink foam pink foam pink foam. Why are dogs separated? Hoe do the packs work? Why training? Not given enough to care for characters. Feels like a warrior cat reskin. Too rushed and yet nothing happens at the same time. (I was very curious about post-apocolyptic xenofiction this year, and this was one of the books I could find on the matter, but it's very childishly written and just... bad. Surprisingly, there seems to be a very tiny but dedicated fandom for it on youtube? the series has a fandom wiki anyway...)

4) old granny fox. Very cute! A little repetitive, but passable for a children's novel. Great introduction to xenofiction for kids. Wonderful audio book. 5)the adventures of Sammy Jay. Short sweet also a lot of fun. Both books are Definitely of their time with their usage of the word "queer" as a synonym for "strange/odd"

Now, this is a little known fact about me, but I'm secretly a massive furry. yeah, who could've guessed, right? Anyway, i'm always on the look out for good xenofiction, and when I searched through the "animals" playlist of the librivox youtube channel and stumbled across the books by Thornton W Burgess, I was INSTANTLY enamored. Old Granny Fox, and The Adventures of Sammy Jay were the first two I read/listened to, and was immediately captivated. I MUST give extra props to the narrators of these audiobooks, with some of the more frequent readers for this series doing unique voices for each character, which really added to the charm (Jude Somers and John Lieder particularly come to mind). I WISH I had these books as a kid. I love the way they describe animal behavior and reasoning. While it is anthropomorphized, it never crosses a line into "too" human, if that makes sense. There's another book on this list that is very similar to Burgess' work, with talking animals, but in that book, the animals make and read signs on the doors of their houses, and go to animal tailors to get their clothes fit. this doesn't happen in Burgess' work. Sure, they talk about their homes and the coats they wear, but it's all very intentionally conveying their natural states and habitats in a slightly more human way for us to picture them. Sure, the art on the covers of the books may say otherwise, but it's never depicted that way in the actual text. All their behavior is very animalistic, too, explaining their thoughts and actions in a way that would make sense for a wild forest creature. These books are a little gentle when it comes to the cycle of life. While the predator characters do need to hunt, they are always juuuust out of luck when they are the main character, and the prey characters juuuust manage to escape each time they're the focus. I will definitely be reading more of Burgess' books this year (the man wrote over 170 of them!), but expect quite a few more titles of his to pop up on this list.

6) adventures of jimmy skunk 7)adventures of paddy beaver (not much to say on these two. both were charming, but I feared I would have sounded repetitive if I just kept writing "cute!" in my notes) 8) my father's dragon Short, cute and silly. Listened to the audiobook. Does the physical have pictures? Not really so much about the dragon. Wish there was more after the ending, like what became of the dragon? (I also watched the netflix movie adaptation of this book. I.... could not stand the dragon in the movie. I'm sorry, he's annoying as hell) 9)adventures of buster bear

10)adventures of old mister toad.Favorite one so far. Puts toads in a positive light and describes them as beautiful instead of ugly or gross. [Burgess] Really appreciates all animals and their unique abilities and traits

11) The tale of freddie firefly. Ehh, okay. Not as great as Thorton Burgess' books, but still enjoyable. Not the same 'voice'. (this book was written by Scott Bailey) 12) The adventures of Chatterer the red squirrel. Fine~ Fun. 13) The Fox That Wanted Nine Golden Tales. Funny, short. Would make a good 22 minute short film 14)tale of master meadow mouse. Alright~ why do the animals know what groundhogs day and February are? How does mouse know how to write, and fox to read? Do they wear clothes? Mention a tailor frog. Oars for a raft. Don't like the animals being described as "(color) person". Feels like it's missing an adjective, ie "feathered" or "furred". (This is what I was talking about above. Scott Bailey wrote very similar stories to Burgess, but something was just... off about is writing style. ) 15) the adventures of reddy fox. Okay. Feels like an earlier book. Not as kind as the other ones. (I later looked it up and confirmed this was one of the earlier books in his series, and this one was, like, his tenth ever published one)

16) the adventures of jerry muskrat

17) the tale of doctor Doolittle. Fun! Kiiiiiinda racist in the africa parts, but an overall good time! (I'm more familiar with the Doolittle movies, but was surprised to learn that Doolittle's ability to speak to animals was something he learned with effort and practice, and not a magic power or weird innate ability of his. It was an interesting read!) 18) Nomads of the North. Fun animal romp. I Flinched at the use of "fat" "tar baby" "half breed" and "Indians". First half is mostly about the bear, then a sudden sharp turn to mostly about the dog. Kinda meanders, has no over-arching through-line, conflict or plot. (Apparently a movie was based off of this book, but focused more on the humans than the animals. Eh, it was the 1920s. what can you do) 19)falcons of nerabedla; short sci-fi novella about a bodyswap time traveler. Its… Fine. Not the greatest. A little too confusing and kind of wish they explained things more earlier on. Not really about the falcons. Even for a sci-fi, still pretty sexist in the future.(honestly I don't even know if I should count this as it's own book. I'm pretty sure it was a short story inside a bigger magazine?) 20) south American jungle tales. Enjoyable! Very strong jungle book vibes with a South American flare. The story with the racoon was pretty dark, though. 21) a gryphon's journey. Too fast pace. Characters have a habit of spilling their entire backstories onto arias without prompting. Not enough show, not enough explanation of how the gryphons work. Some aspects completely pushed to the sides, like the satyrs and naugi until the end. Very rushed. The skyhaven arc could have been its own book, the stygagryph arc could have been it's own book. The heron gryph arc could have been it's own book. Not enough time to get to know the characters or care about them. Arias speaks far too maturely for his age, I feel. (Still on a gryphon kick from the last... two years now? Mostly I'm waiting for the fourth book in the Griffin Ranger Series to come out before I read the third. The author said it would come out before the end of 2023, but that date came and went and it still isn't on amazon at the time of writing (which is now 9:26pm, jeez...) I want to read isthmus so bad, but I don't want to wait on a cliffhanger) 22) myths and legends from Alaska. Okay. Feels very white washed and overly simplified. missing nuance. Reader is so deadpan and monotone that the audio book was a slog to get through (One thing I was determined to do for my own enrichment this year was to read more legends and mythologies from other cultures. There are SO MANY cool creatures and monsters and ideas out there, and I just feel so LIMITED by the small amount I know. We humans come up with some of the craziest shit imaginable!) 23) the white czar; a story of a polar bear. Bad, boring, incredibly racist. Barely about the bear at all! 24) the twins of buster bear. Another thornton w. Burges book. Its middle of the road. Certainly not bad, but my least favorite so far. Just kinda dull, and the audio book was horrendous. (honestly if the audiobook wasn't so bad, I wouldn't have disliked it so much, but it was a CHORE to listen to this one. I mean, thank you librivox for doing all this work for free, but is it too much to ask for some sort of vetting process for your volunteer readers??) 25) the wishing stone stories; BEST thornton w burges book so far! I would have been obsessed with this book as a child. Transforming into animals to learn about their ways. Not super PG like the others. The animals hunt and kill and get killed. 10/10

26) lightfoot the leaping goat 27) Toto the bustling beaver. Both alright. Nowhere near as charming as thornton Burgess, but endearing none the less. A little more 4th wall breaking. Toto audio book fun with silly voices, but I don't like the description of "tramps". A little too humanized for me. Lightfoot audio book fucking trash. Almost gave up. (Both of these books were written by Richard Barnum, another children's xenofiction writer of the time, but I quickly came to realize that his writing style is just not for me. I listened to a handful of his books too, this year, but they left me feeling uncomfortable more often than not because common attitudes of the time period reeeeeally show through his work.) 28) the adventures of poor misses quack. How do these qualify as adventures. She lands in a pond, dumps her backstory for 60 percent of the book, finds her mate and lives happily ever after. Not very strong, not very adventurous. 29) Mother West Wind "When" Stories; a lot of fun, charming, Aesop fable-esque. Fun mythology for children. A little too much peter rabbit, but I understand why he's there 30) the adventures of tamba the tame tiger. Yeahhhh, this series isnt my thing. A little too humanized, and the audio book is fuck GARBAE. (Pretty sure I meant to say "fucking garbage" there, but "fuck garbae" is funnier)

31) joust 32) alta 33) sanctuary All really good! All revolve around dragons and their usage and care. The books are a liiiiiitle too serendipitous, with the right thing always happening at the right time. Vetch/kuron doesn't "fail" enough. Second book is the best so far because the magi are a legitimate threat and it feels like time is running out so they must always stay one step ahead. (All written by Mercedes Lackey, all about dragon husbandry with a nice Egyptian flare! Check them out! But... maybe skip Aerie, the last in the series. It's not really worth it.) 34)aerie weakest one. Ahketen was absolutely unbearable and I didn't like the literal deus ex machina at the end with the actual gods coming down to help. Final ranking in order from best to worst; 2)alta, 1)joust, 3)sanctuary and 4)aerie. 35) the adventures of johnny chuck. Fun, average. Simple but doesn't need to be complicated. First of the thornton books ive read where the main character forms a family with children as the main focus 36) blacky the crow. Fun and charming as always. Feels a little simpler than the others with only 3 main mini stories, two of which involve stealing eggs. I wonder if I can find a box set of these books. (Aaaand that wraps up all the books I read this year! 15 of them were from thornton w burgess, and I hope to read even more from him this year! If you know of Burgess' books, tell me your favorites! I'd love to discuss them with someone~)

2.WHOO! the time is now 9:50, and I am just starting on talking about my second goal, which was to finish the snowdin arc of Ghost Switch before its 5th birthday. I did this! I did this exactly on june 18th! (for public readers, anyway. Anyone on my patreon got the page early, but a one week difference isn't much in the grand scheme of things.) I also get to say that I passed the Snowdin Test this year! "What is the Snowdin Test," you might ask? well, it's something a mutual acquaintance of mine, from the Fan Fic Paradise discord I lurk in, made aaaaall the way back in 2018, right when I was just startin' out with Ghost Switch. (Hi, Vikingaspoke, I don't know if you follow me on tumblr, or even have a tumblr for that matter, but I want you to know I thought about your thesis every single day since you first posted it, and have been determined (har har) to succeed where so many other undertale stories have failed. I did it once with my Epic-long fan fic, You Monster, but to do the same in comic form was a new and unique challenge. it took me almost 5 years, but I got there in the end! Cutting out the memories, I've officially concluded snowdin and started waterfall just this year!) I've also got to mention that I think my estimation on how long it will take me to finish Ghost Switch is slowly unfolding to be oddly accurate. I've never made a comic this long, but back in 2019, when I made an anniversary comic for Ghost Switch's 1st birthday, I guestimated that it would take me roughly 11 more years to finish the story, meaning it would take me 12 in total from start to finish. Well, we are rapidly approaching the half-way point of the comic, and if I haul ass it get to 312 pages out by the 6th birthday, we very well might actually hit it. I haven't drawn up to page 312 yet, but it's strangely close. Granted, my guess didn't account for the length of the flashback segments, which may push it back, but the sheer Idea that the "vibes" I got on how long each arc would take just by roughly judging the time it took me to finish ruins as a baseline to compare... it's just weird, man. I just "felt" that snowdin would be 1.5 times as long as the ruins, waterfall 2 times as long as the ruins, and hotland+New Home also 1.5 times that of the ruins. I have no metric for this since the final scenes were not written out yet. It just... feels like it should be that, and I'm kinda scared at how on track it's been.

3. Third goal was to Rewrite my Nanowrimo project from 2021/22. I did this as well! It's still no where near a final draft ready for beta readers or anything, and towards the end of the year I got distracted writing the second book in the trilogy because this is an epic fantasy story so it just HAS to have three books. Maybe I'll self-publish these stories one day. it sure is the most passionate I've ever been about something original i've ever written, but I want to make sure the entire rough draft of all three stories is done first so I can easily go back and add hints in previous parts without having to retcon anything later down the line. I've already had to do it once, so no doubt in my mind I'll have to do it again when I start trying to wrap things up in the final book. Speaking of the sequel, that was my nano project for this year! I won, but much like 2021 and 22, I didn't finish the book. my 21/22 project ended up being roughly 80k words, and I still expect to add about 10k more when I add some missing scenes and flesh out some description. I don't think that will happen with the second book. If anything, I expect it to barely stick around 50k in total because I just know I wrote a lot of filler and junk and repetitive stuff in the first draft this year because I was STRUGGLING with nanowrimo this year. Idk yet if I'm going to make a rewrite of book 2 my nano project for 2024. we'll have to wait and see how I'm feeling once september/october rolls around.

4. My fourth goal was to write 4 one-shots for my fic collection of Blankets, Socks, and Pillow Talk, over on AO3. I didn't do this, mostly because I was too distracted with my original fiction this year. i DID write one one-shot, hilariously during nanowrimo when I was suffering from writers block. Hopefully this year will be different. I would like this fic collection to at least hit 50k words so it could be a full novel of short stories all on its own. I think I can do it, I just need the time and inspiration.

5. My fifth goal, and last one I achieved this year was to finalize the details of the waterfall arc. I'm sure I've said it before in the past, but all the major story beats for Ghost Switch were planned out well before I even drew the first page, but the scenes connecting them were filled in more as I went. Rest assured, I make sure the entire arc is scripted before I start it, but my dirty little secret is that the snowdin arc wasn't completely written until I nearly finished drawing the ruins arc, and I was well into the snowdin arc before the final scenes of the waterfall arc were written down. It is now, and has been for at least 10 months. This was a goal I always knew I would achieve. Sometimes the resolutions I make are things I know are gonna happen whether I want them to or not. Sometimes you just gotta give yourself a guaranteed win to boost your self-confidence, you know? (now I just need to do the same for the Hotland arc. I think it's gonna take me 3 years minimum to finish waterfall, just like it did snowdin, so I got time, but the sooner I figure out the dialogue, the better. Will I make that a goal for this year? Ehh, probably not. I just wanna focus on building a buffer first)

6. The one secret goal was not achieved. If it was, this post wouldn't nearly be as long and you all would have heard about it as soon as it happened. Idk if it will happen this year, or anytime soon. A vicious combination of anxiety, the economy, and the uncertain state of the world make me hesitant to even attempt this goal.

aaand those were all my serious goals for this year! the time is now 10:37, I am tired and dizzy. I'm gonna save this as a draft and get back to it tomorrow~ nighty night~

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OKAY! IT'S JANUARY 3RD NOW, 8:34AM! LET"S CONTINUE!

my three casual goals, none of which I accomplished, were;

7) Finish writing clemency. While I didn't do this, I did think about the story a lot. If you've been around since late 2022, You'll know that when AI writing generators started gaining popularity, news broke that the internet was scraped for data sets, including fan fiction websites like AO3. This extremely pissed me off because Fan Fiction is... well, I guess there's no better word than "sacred" to me. The unadulterated desire to write, create, share and expand on media that has touched us, inspired us, (hell, even angered us!) and to do this all purely because we can and we want to, just to make connections with other people who were fans of the same media, people we may never meet, thousands of miles apart from us, who we can touch and inspire in turn... Fan fiction is a gift. it means so much to me, from the professional writer who writes ficlets as an exercise, to tweens just starting their creative writing journey by imagining themselves hanging out with their favorite characters, to the hobbyists who wanted to imagine how things would change if just one thing happened differently, to those who feel underrepresented in media, and want to see themselves be the hero. People working through shit, people who are just bored, people who love a story so much they will retell it a hundred times over so it never has to end. Young, old, girl, boy, fluent writers, to writers in fandom where english is not their first language. It's an amazing, nearly incomprehensible melting pot that can connect us all... and some CEO jerkoffs just wanted to steal all this heart-felt work and feed it to a machine to make a quick buck. I was so enraged, so violated that works of passion could be abused this way that I locked down all my fics on AO3, and you now need to be logged in to read any of them, and I didn't write a word of fan fic in over a year. Every time I thought my anger had cooled off, more news would come up about "AI" generated stories appearing in the kindle app, or authors having works published under their name without their consent because thieves are trying to make a quick buck with their identity to trick fans, or hear that tv show and movie writers being told they are worthless and replacable, and I would get mad all over again. I'm still mad just remembering it, and until actual laws are in place regarding the use of "AI" in art and writing, I'll stay mad, and my stories will be under lock and key. If some good has come out of it, I focused a lot more on original fiction this year, which I haven't shared online at all, so no fear of that being stolen, but I do miss writing fan fic more regularly, yet I can't stand the thought of something I make for fun being taken and used by someone else to line their pockets. It's like... the antithesis of the purpose of storytelling to begin with and makes me sick to my stomach.

WOW! That sure was a rant! Let's move on! My 8th goal and second casual one was to make a comic page buffer of 8 pages. I almost did this one! At one point, (like, the second week of december) I had a buffer of 5 pages because I was finishing up Memory 5 of ghost switch, but then I realized I could line up the end of the memory with the end of the year, and I ended up posting all of my reserve pages in, like, a week! During those weeks, though, instead of making more pages to keep the buffer supplied, I played a lot of video games instead, which I hadn't done since... october? because I didn't touch my PS4 at all during november while I was writing for nanowrimo, and I missed playing Horizon Foridden West and wanted to get back to it. Maybe this year, though? I'm dead set on trying to get to 312 pages before Ghost Switch's 6th birthday, which is, like, 30 pages away, so I gotta improve my output process regardless.

And the 9th goal of mine and the last of the casual ones, was to write that crack fic. This goal has been on my resolutions for a couple years now, but I still haven't done it. I'm gonna blame my AI hatred grudge for this, since it made me not to want to write any fan fic at all this year. I'll get to this someday, but maybe now I should put it on the back burner for some newer goals and projects~

Okay! The time is now 8:57! if you're still reading this stream-of-conscious ramble of mine, it's time for me to list off my goals for this year!

IN 2024 I WOULD LIKE TO...

Read 12 new books this year (one book a month)

Reach 312 pages of Ghost Switch by June 18th (the 6th birthday)

Build (and maintain!) a comic buffer of 8 pages

Go walking on 3 new greenways around my neighborhood

Go camping by myself

Make at least one new song comic

Finish 4 video games to as close to 100% as I can (currently looking at Horizon Forbidden West, the original Pokemon Mystery Dungeon Blue, Carto, Alba, Stray, Journey, Unraveled and The Talos Principle 2, as these games currently entice me the most, but I still want flexibility and options if one game ends up not clicking)

Finish the first rewrite of my 2023 nanoproject (this will probably end up being my nano24 project, if i'm being honest with myself)

Write 4 one-shots for BSapT

-- These 9 goals I want to be serious about, but like last year, I have some casual goals i want to do as well. They include...

10. Get reacquainted with Neocities and make a personal website

11. Learn to code to improve said website/learn to make games

12.Listen to the entire royalty free youtube library for reasons

13. Research every d.o.n.g. ever featured on VSauce, for neocities reasons.

I feel like I had a couple more off-handed things I wanted to do this year, but these 4 casual things are the only ones I can remember at the moment. Maybe I'll come back and add to this list later.

Alright! The time is now 9:37AM, and I have to go run some errands/do some house chores! Saving this again as a draft to come back to this later!

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Okay! Done with errands, and it is 11:30am on the nose! Time to resume my inane ramblings and hopefully finish this thing within the next two hours.

One thing I mentioned in my recap/review of 2022 was that I never actually felt like I was looking back on the year in depth. So much was forgotten or blurred together with other years because I didn't keep track of it. Well, this year I kept a monthly diary, again in my personal discord of 1, and wrote in it whenever I felt anything of note or significance happened to me, or whenever I had reoccurring thoughts or feelings. i managed to write in it at least once a month, often times twice, that being every two weeks. I found the whole experience quite therapeutic, frankly, and I'll share snippets of it now, though I will cut out the more personal entries. Be forwarned! A lot of the following text is straight up copied and pasted from my diary entries, so there is a lot of misspellings and short hand. I'll try to fix some of the more obvious ones, but these paragraphs are just as stream-of-concious writing as the rest of this massive post. Anything in parentheses with A/N is me adding context right now on the present day!

january 5th, two very close coworkers of mine quit due to upper management being petty. These two employees had worked here for nearly two decades. They were married to each other and were the mom and dad of the work base, with everyone else relying on them, looking up to them, and going to them for their problems. Them walking out scared everyone lower on the pecking order, because we felt that we were no longer protected from manager bullshit with them gone. I was off the day they walked out and didn't get to say goodbye. the grief I felt upon learning they left caused me to have my first ever anxiety attack that night. It was one of the worst experiences I've ever had in my life. I try to keep in touch, but we don't talk much due to our age gaps and busy work lives.

in January I also had a body-horror nightmare that still makes me squirm just thinking about it. I dreamt no one in the world wore pants, but we were all cool with it because we had pockets built into our legs. Not like... fabric sewn into skin, mind you, I mean naturally evolved extra flaps of flesh over our thighs like the pouch of a cartoon kangaroo. flesh pockets. even in my dream I could feel them. the insides were surprisingly dry and smooth- no sweat or hair in there, but the sensation was uncomfortably irritating, like when you rub your knuckles too much and it feels sore. worst part of this dream was, I woke up, thought "thank god I'll for get this in a few hours", but then watched cartoons later that day and saw a... tom and jerry(?) short where tom also had built in pockets on his body which made me remember everything, and now I can't forget.

February 8th. Watched The Flight if Dragons. Good, campy 80s feel. Drags in some parts, rushed in others. Some aspects feel like they have 0 explanation. (How did peter separate from gorbash? Did peter know that denouncing magic would vanish him from the safe haven? What happened to the princess's parents? EVERYTHING with the wolf and whatever was going on between the huntress and knight. I also Watched 1996 dragonheart. Slow start, but good fun. Pretty decent cgi. Acting is downright TERRIBLE in places, but it was good campy fantasy fun in the end.

On february 14th, I dreamed of a haunted house, but the house wasnt malicious. It felt like a friend that worried for your safety when you left, because it was rooted to the spot and could not come to you when you were in trouble. I did not stay long, and felt melancholic when I had to leave. Once outside, I turned around and said "goodbye house" and waved it farewell. Then, in all the curtains and windows, dozens and dozens of shadowy human arms waved goodbye to me in return, wishing me well and safe travels. It would miss me, but not keep me prisoner, because a house is only a home if you had the freedom to leave and return when you wished.

March 18. I got recommended a video on YouTube about screen savers, and it reminded me of one that our family computer had in the early 00s. After searching for a while, I rediscovered it; the createacard screensaver pack. So many buried memories unearthed. The sense of wanderlust and inspiration and not over such beautiful art came rushing back to me; https://youtu.be/zFPKmnegK0c

I was generally tired for all of march, not having much energy for any project outside of my comic, and even that was starting to wear me down.

I played a lot of kingdom hearts 1 in late February/early march. Synthesized the Ultima weapon for the first time. Cried farming sniper wilds and stealth soldiers because they unsettle me. I'm trying to grind to level 100 before the game is over. Debated on doing a kh song comic this year (A/N: This did not happen)

I want to redo my personal website. Wix added an image file size limit, and my whole site currently surpasses that twice over. The wix site editor is slow and finicky any way. Looked into blogspot and WordPress. I want to start a xenofiction book review podcast. Are solo podcasts popular? I Looked into neocities. Felt an overwhelming sense of nostalgia and child-like wonder. Made my own account/basic website, but haven't edited anything yet.

I got hit with the seasonal depression late February/early march, watched some home gardening videos on youtube and got inspired. The videos I watched were about people building actual massive scale pond and lakes, but I just went to home depot and Lowe's and Wal-Mart, bought, like, 12 different kinds of vegetable and flower seeds, 3 long rectangular planters and 2 massive bags of dirt. I also bought some peat seed starters, a plant heating pad (which I might just give to my cat) and a plant light. I spent over 150$ total.

My cat turned 5 years old on the 15th this march as well!

In late april I got really into analog/digital horror args and unfiction realities. Been watching a lot of Night Mind and similar analysis videos (I'm too lazy and dumb to try and solve them myself).

April 28th. Maternal grandfather might be passing soon. He's been in and out of hospitals since late January, needs around the clock assisted living, and my mom and her sister are constantly having to take time out of their lives to help him. I hate it. It's stressful and aggravating to mom, the assisted living people are incompetent, and my mom is stretching herself thin, running ragged trying to do everything at once. It's not fair to her. It's not fair to anyone.

May 11th. Mom's computer has a solitaire program with hundreds of versions of solitaire, most of which have gone unplayed. Ive been trying new games and learning them through trial and error (the "rules" tab doesnt work because it accesses a file that is no longer installed on this computer). Ive found new favorites in "twenty" and in "carpet". It makes life just a little bit more interesting.

June 4th. Been really into watching blind lets plays of undertale from 2022/3 lately, as well as dissection/discussion of undertale's music. Also into shayy's undertale mods. Glad the fandom is still having fun with this game. Got interested in pokemon infinite fusion. Downloaded it, but havent played yet. Getting back into PMD, though I have to grind now for leveling and evolving mons I cant recruit. Took a break from listening to librivox books, but might pick it up again. Same with checking in on flight rising. This year will be it's 10th birthday iirc

Looked at my ao3 recently and noticed I havent written anything in over 6 months. Still mad about the AI data scraping. I didn't stop writing entirely though. I spent all of October, November, January and February writing an original story, and still really proud/excited about it. Finished typing the rough draft on Wednesday, taking a break before I start edits.

All my flowers I planted in February are dying. Has a lot of rain this year. I think they're getting over watered.

June 6th. Been thinking a lot about Hawaii recently. I miss my old school and house. Went to Google earth to look at it again. I think our old neighborhood of [REDACTED] was razed and rebuilt becuase the streets dont look the same. This makes me feel… Not quite sad or bitter, but hurt none the less. I knew ever since we moved here chances of going back would be slim, but knowing my most nostalgic childhood home is gone forever…

Saturday June 17th fucking sucked for everyone. Two coworkers got seriously injured at work. My car battery completely died and couldn't be jump started. Had to call for a tow and wait 2+ hours for it to arrive. Wanted to cancel but they told me I would be charged even if the tow never arrived. Got charged 80 extra dollars for a "wench fee" I didn't need, but they talked to fast for me to think about it. Massive accident on the 4-lane highway home put all traffic down to 1 lane, and we were stuck there an extra hour. Dairy Queen's lobby closed early, going to drive through only, sonic was OUT OF ICE CREAM, and the local grocery store was almost sold out too. Did not get home until almost 10pm. Both my car AC and my mom's car a.c. don't work. I FUCKING LOVE OWNING A CAR. IT'S SO MUCH FUN AND SO FREEING.

June 28. Been playing a new video game recently; horizon forbidden west. Price dropped by 50% on Amazon and I had a 10$ gift card so I got the game for 1/3 the launch price. It's okay so far. Been slowly exploring and uncovering the map, ignoring the main story and discovering secrets. There is definitely A LOT more to do in this game than in the first. Dont really like a lot of Aloy's line deliveries. Some of the controls are different which throws me off. Robo enemies cool as ever, though noticeably fewer dinosaur ones.

Mom continues to take care of her dad. Aunt does too. All of mom's free time and energy this summer has been stolen by him. She keeps insisting she won't have to look after him as much when he gets better. I don't think he's ever getting better.

All my flowers I planted back in March have died. It's just too damn hot for them. It's too hot for everyone. We have just hit ten straight days with weather in the triple digits. I'm miserable.

Might have to replace my laptop soon. It's almost 12 years old, the battery doesn't work anymore, it overheats, and it's super slow. Looking into gaming laptops.

June 29; grandfather passed away last night. All I feel is relief.

July 11th. I got gifted my grandfather's bed, but had to switch it back out with my old bed because it was too soft and fucking up my back. No lumbar support.

July wrap up: month went by sooo fast I can hardly believe it. Its too fucking hot. Texas is stuck in a heat cyclone. Havent played solitare in a while, or listened to audio books. I managed to do 7 jigsaw puzzles this summer, and hope to do one more. each one has been 1000 pieces minimum, with two being 2000 pieces, and 1 being 3000. I should have taken more pictures of them finished, but it's fun to know we finished one puzzle per week this whole summer.

August 5th; Wish I recorded some smaller details throughout the year, not realizing id want to recall the last time I did something. When was the last time I intentionally watched a movie or listened to a specific song? (but then again, how will I know I'm going to think the exact thought; "when was the last time I did X specific thing?") I rewatched wolf children 2 months back for the first time in years, same with relistening to HeyHiHello songs. Been having a lot of lower back pain lately. Stretching helps, but I can no longer sit or sleep in my favorite position without cramping up. I need to be perfectly straight and i hate it. (A/N: The very next night I pulled a muscle in my back so bad I thought I was paralyzed. for the first time in years, I had to call in sick to work because I could not physically move from my bed)

August 19th. Went to a chiropractor. No pinched nerves or slipped disc, just a pulled muscle. Stretching helps and have been wearing a back brace. Finally had grandpa's memorial on the tenth. It was nice to learn he made friends at his community center. I'll try to be out going when I'm old too. Doctors would not sign his death certificate for 7 weeks because they just didn't give a shit, and we finally threatened to call a lawyer. He finally got cremated.

August 30th- recently had to go to pepboys to get my car fixed again. It was "stuck" in neutral. Grandma came and picked me up to let me go home. She said she doesnt plan to be driving much longer and intends to give her car to me. I dont know how to feel about this. Grateful for the future gift? Sad that she is getting older? I had to have my car towed and had to leave work early, which I hate doing because it makes me feel like I'm leaving everyone else to do my work, but I did not want another repeat with the towing situation that happened in june.

September 19th. I finally put on my brave face and ordered a new laptop for myself earlier this month (the 5th to be precise) and today it finally arrived. I bought myself an HP omen gaming laptop. It's so nice, but also different and a little scary trying to adjust to all this new interface. I went from using windows 7 for the last 11 years to jumping into windows 11. It'll be an adjustment. Gotta re-download all my old programs and transfer my files. Hope my drawing tablet will still work on this laptop. Might have to buy a new one of those as well. I already hate the subscription model being used if you want to do ANYTHING with the tech YOU BOUGHT nowadays. Goodbye microsoft office! It was fun while I knew you! I got libreoffice now! Fuck off adobe! OpenShot and Shotcut are my video editing programs now! I still need to learn my way around OBS, opentoonz, and pencil2d, but I gotta say there's something.... rustic? homey? about having a desktop full of opensource programs made by people who want to help other creatives free of charge. I miss the days where you buying something meant you own it forever, but free homegrown programs updated by community feels friendlier than just owning a shiny "offical" big named piece of software, I gotta admit.

The new laptop is wonderfully fast and silent. It cost me 2 grand so I hope it lasts just as long as my old one. There is no removable battery from what I can tell, which is sad. Also no disc drive. The keys light up rainbow which is cool (but I had to turn that feature off to improve battery life). I customized the desktop background to some concept art of the videogame RiME. (I thought I had saved the default bg pic from my old laptop to my external hard drive, but I guess I hadn't?) Funny to me that in the 10+ years of owning my second ever laptop, I never changed the wallpaper because I liked the default art so much. Might add more art to a file and have the wallpaper rotate. I want to replay RiME again too. Love the simple gameplay and strong colors of that game.

October 4th. So much has happened in 2 weeks, it feels much longer than that. I pretty much completely switched to using my new lap top ad my main computer, transferred all the files, downloaded a bunch of open source software for writing documents, video editing, streaming and animation. Fuck you Microsoft. I shouldn't need an account to use basic microsoft word. Hope to bring back page making streams next year for patrons~ ive even been playing some steam games that my old laptop just couldn't run, and quite a few new ones as well. Candleman, carto, so many fun and charming titles~ replaying snakebird because all my progress was lost 🥲I'm not mad. I love snake bird.

I have so much desire to do so many things, but not enough time to do them. I need to queue up my november posts for tumblr before I go on break. I need to get my oil changed soon. I want to go back on steam and play more humongous entertainment games. I want to write, I want to draw, I want to animate, I want to learn how to quilt and crochet and garden. I want to do it all right now all at the same time. I want to go on a nature walk. I want to see my friends.

Its finally starting to cool off. We still get in the 90s easily, but it rained last night for the first time in weeks, and we havent hit 100 degrees in a couple of days. Been reading a lot of webtoons lately. Been having the urge to start my own with my original storylines, or at least use webtoons as a backup/mirror for my fan comic. So many unique stories there all ready. So many fun art style and worlds to get lost in. I love stories and the people that tell them. The joy of creating a tale and sharing it with the world is humanity in its purest form.

November 1st: youtube is cracking down on adblockers. Havent had any problems yet on desktop, but on this day, my default youtube app on my lg smart phone started showing me ads for the first time in the 8+ years I've had it. I was so mad that i forced stopped the app, and logged into youtube through an ad block browser app instead. Some of the app's features will be missed, like being able to watch a video and search at the same time, but these little annoyances are nothing compared to the fury I felt at being shown ads. I didn't write nearly as much as I wanted to for nanowrimo today because of this.

November 6th: I turned 31! Both my friends forgot my birthday, and I wasn't able to reserve a camping site for the April 8th eclipse next year! 🙃 ive been writing like mad for nanowrimo, but I'm still falling behind.

December 17. Has it really been a whole month since i last made a diary update? Thanksgiving came and went. No drama at our house but my mom and I watched an argument unfold in the yard of our neighbors. The one mobile game I play, dragon's world, officially shut down for me 4 days ago. I'm a little sad I could never 100% it, but glad I got as far as I did, and even managed to buy some dergs so it didnt feel all my hard earned gems went to waste. Havent uninstalled the app yet out of nostalgia, even though I only played this game for a year and a half. I made the mistake of reinstalling the google play store to look for a new dragon raising game, but none had the same appeal, and the reinstall caused my discord app to update and hate it ):< I kinda want to learn how to make a mobile game of my own like dragons world, but with gryphons instead and a focus on rescue/rehabilitation and zoology angle. (I mostly just dont like how common fighting is in these kind of games.) Finally been playing horizon forbidden west after a few months away. I'm not progressing the story, just trying to max upgrade all my gear. It's a fun challenge~

December 26, 2023. Got bit by a dog at work on Christmas. Right on the nail of my middle finger. He broke my nail but not my skin. Its odd. Thankfully I can still draw without much issue. I got a tetanus shot and flu shot just to be safe. Mom got me a tent for Christmas because I plan to go camping by myself next year, even though I wont get to see the eclipse on my outing.

The fan game undertale yellow came out on the 9th… Which was before my last journal update? I've been enjoying the game play but the story is just a little... eh. the sprite work is phenominal, though, no complaints there. I hate that it's making me want to write my own AU version of it already to "improve" it, since I think the story loses its way pretty much once you leave the ruins. (maybe I can try to shove it into Clemency in stead since i still haven't finished that either).

I watched a documentary on kangaroos on netflix this month. I had to play it at 1.25 speed because I swear they slowed down every single clip for the film to get it to a certain length. I also watched "dog gone trouble" which had terrible voice work and awful character design, and then "back to the outback" which was surprisingly well made even if the characters stumbled sometimes, but I'd easily recommend it. I want to watch more Christmas movies before the year is through. (A/N: this also did not happen).

Finally uninstalled dragons world today. My phone's been acting up. Hope I don't have to replace it soon. I don't like how, nowadays, the technology I pay for, I don't actually own, and features are being removed left and right. I'm afraid any "new" phone on the market offered now won't nearly last as long as my current one has.

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Aaand that was a brief glimpse into my year! The time is now 1:10pm! I already have one other post going up today, so I'll queue this one to go up on thursday instead~ if you managed to read this far, thank you so much, i guess! I hope my ramblings don't make you see me differently as a person. It's odd reflecting on where I was in my life over these past 12 months, remembering my state of mind and the feelings I felt as I wrote these entries. I'll be sure to do it again this year.

Overall, did I learn anything?...no, I don't think so? I did come to the realization that at the end of every year, in multiple youtube videos and tumblr posts, people mentioned how hard the year was for them, but like... after june, for me, everything improved quite a lot. it doesn't feel right to say that 2023 was hard for me. It was unbearably sad for me at the beinging. annoying and (physcially) painful half way through, but once august hit... everything slowly started to get better, despite the small petty things I complained about in my journal entries above. youtube ads, car troubles and discontinued apps of games I enjoyed still feel like small potatoes when compared to what I accomplished. Finished writing a draft of personal fiction, finished a major arc of a fan comic, got a new laptop to stream and share art with others, played a bunch of new video games, and generally enjoyed life for the latter half of this year.

And it almost feels selfish to say that... I'm happy.

I hope I can stay happy in 2024 as well.

Thanks for reading~

Have a safe and joyous 2024~

[barclaysangel]

Junior Wheeler finding out he has a younger half-sister headcanons

This just spiraled out of control from a random idea and then it grew more and more so here we are! I just had to write this as a set of headcanons or I would combust. It did take months to write this due to lack of motivation but I finally did it! If you guys like this, please tell me! I just MIGHT make a fic or one-shot series of the adventures of Big Bro Junior™. Besides, comments always make me feel accomplished and it gives me motivation to continue this AU!

Tags: @arthurpendragonlove @streets-in-paradise @rogertaylorismyking @marvelxchucky @the-carlos-cow-eyes

Warnings: Mentions of Logan Wheeler, mentions of kinda inappropriate relationships, some swearing, not proofread because proofreading is for losers

Word count: 3.2K

Summary: After surviving from being stabbed by a killer doll, Junior thought nothing could surprise him. Then they found out that he had a half-sister, a product from Logan Wheeler’s affair. And somehow, Junior’s life changes for the better once they become a big brother.

Notes: Takes place about a year and a half after the events of season 1, no mention of season 2 because I despise 98.5% of the plot of season 2, a shit ton of the ideas were created between me and @arthurpendragonlove , purposefully not saying who takes in Jake and Junior because I haven’t decided yet (maybe Miss Fairchild or Andy Barclay but I’ll admit, I’m leaning WAY MORE towards the latter if I make a fic based on this), Harper’s faceclaim is Victoria Pedretti and Eden’s faceclaim is Violet McGraw, Junior is my own personal interpretation of how his character arc could evolve after everything that’s happened to him, Junior is biromantic asexual and a demiboy who uses he/they pronouns (this has been a headcanon I've had for a year and I'm absolutely implementing Junior being a demiboy for the first time in these headcanons).

~Junior Wheeler was almost 16 years old when he found out about their father’s former mistress and child. 

~After surviving his stab wound, Junior started to get better. They opened himself up more, made amends and became better friends with Jake, Devon, and Lexy, got therapy, and explored their identity and who he truly was. They truly were in a good place. 

~And then Junior happened to meet a woman named Harper Murphy.

~Harper never knew that Logan Wheeler was married and had a teenage son. She had only found that out on the news after his body had been discovered due to the “mysterious” massacre that happened in Hackensack. 

~Harper felt so guilty now knowing that she had been the other woman, even producing a child with a married man, that she tried for over a year to find Junior to explain herself. 

~And that’s exactly what she tried to do when she showed up on his doorstep by herself. 

~It was safe to say that Junior didn’t react well. 

~They were already shaking with rage upon finding out that his father DID in fact cheat on their mom, but hearing that he now had a half-sister made them force her to leave before he could explode. 

~Jake thankfully had been there to be the voice of reason and took the slip of paper that had Harper’s phone number because Junior refused to take it. 

~For a couple weeks, Junior wasn’t themself. 

~He was prone to snapping more and refused to talk about their father’s mistress and child to anyone, including his friends,  girlfriend, caretaker, and therapist. Their anger was starting to get almost out of control because of how much he was now bottling up. 

~It was when Junior got a week’s worth of detention for throwing his textbook at the head of a classmate that was bothering them when Jake finally forced his cousin to sit down and talk it over. 

~There were many things that Junior was angry about. One, their father actually being a cheater and having a whole other family. Two, the fact that the other woman was much younger than his mother. And three, that Chucky was right in a way about their father having an affair. 

~By now, Junior knew about Chucky’s manipulation. He was used as a pawn in his game, manipulated into believing that their mom killed herself and his father cheated on her, leading to her suicide and causing them to kill his father. Junior now knew what really happened to her. 

~But finding out about this affair has led Junior into hating the fact that Chucky was right about something. 

~Jake was able to be there and reassure Junior, somehow even convincing them to call Harper and hear her full side of the story. 

~So after two weeks, Junior gave in and had Jake call her—because he didn’t have it in them to call her herself without losing it again, so he needed the calmer of the two cousins to make the phone call. 

~When Harper came by, once again alone, it was a meeting between her, Junior, Jake, and their caretaker. Junior couldn’t be trusted to be left alone, so they were with him in case their temper decided to strike again. 

~It did happen a few times throughout Harper’s story, leading Junior to get up and “take a lap”, which included storming angrily around the house once or twice until he was calm enough to sit down and listen again. 

~Some reasons that caused Junior to “take a lap” was when he found out that Harper was 21 years old and still at college when she met their father, when he found out that she was 27 now and that made her only 11 years older than them and he was 11 years older than her daughter, and even when Harper told them about how Logan isolated her from her parents to the point where she only had her daughter and occasionally his father whenever he felt like visiting.

~Knowing just how much of a manipulative piece of shit their father was made Junior want to explode. But he could see how weary and anxious Harper looked so they forced himself to be as calm as they could…which wasn’t a lot but it was the thought that counts. 

~It was much harder when Harper brought up the topic of her daughter, Eden. 

~Junior didn’t want to know about her. Whether it was because she was the product of his father’s affair or another connection that bound them to the man they wanted so desperately to forget, he didn’t know at the moment. They just absolutely didn’t want to know about her or see a picture when Harper offered. 

~Jake took her up on that offer though and looked at the picture of his new five year old cousin on Harper’s phone. Junior kept his back turned as Jake complimented Eden, attempting to persuade Junior to look with each thing she said. 

~He did capture Junior’s attention by one thing only. 

~“She looks nothing like her father.” 

~For some reason, that was enough for Junior to finally peer over Jake’s shoulder and look at the picture of their half-sister. 

~Eden was a carbon copy of her mother, with dark brown hair and vibrant blue eyes. The more Junior stared at her, the more he realized that she truly didn’t look like Logan. 

~Seems that their father had another child that looked exactly like their mother and not him. 

~Maybe the Wheeler genes were a lot weaker than he expected. 

~“…she’s cute, I guess.” 

~But during that meeting, Junior didn’t agree to wanting to see their half-sister. He didn’t know if they had it in him to see her in person. 

~It took more persuasion and another week until Junior was the one to call Harper and set up a meeting. 

~They did emphasize that he most likely wouldn’t want to have a relationship with Eden but he figured that they should meet her, just once. 

~In a way, Junior figured that this was something his mother would want them to do. She was a good woman with a big heart, she would want him to at the very least meet their half-sister, especially if she knew Harper’s story and how she was also a victim in Logan’s manipulation. 

~Junior was absolutely nervous to meet Eden. He hardly slept and ate during the days leading up to the meeting, riddled with so much anxiety that it started to affect them physically. 

~When they finally met, Junior didn’t know how to act. 

~Eden was obviously shy, clinging to her mother’s arm but staring at her half-brother with curiosity. And Junior was trying to function in a way that was considered calm because while he didn’t know if they would like her or not, he still didn’t want to frighten her. 

~After a couple minutes of staring, Junior finally gathered the courage to speak. 

~“Hi.” 

~“Hi.” 

~“I’m Junior.” 

~“I’m Eden.” 

~“Cool.” 

~“Cool.”

~Then Eden smiled at them. 

~Junior couldn’t quite explain it. But something in her smile was so sweet and so genuine, that he melted and fell under her spell.

~Junior began to slowly open themself up more and the more he did, the more they realized that there wasn’t a single trace of their father in her. She wasn’t like Logan at all. Eden was shy, sweet, kind, polite, and so much more, all the complete opposite of Logan. 

~Eventually the two siblings were trusted enough to be left alone and they spent the rest of the day watching a Disney movie together, The Little Mermaid, Eden’s favorite that also happened to be Junior’s favorite. 

~When it was time for them to go, Eden gave them the biggest hug and Junior came to the realization that this couldn’t be the first and last time he’ll ever meet her. They had to see her again, to get to know her more. 

~It was something he made known to Harper and the rest of their family. 

~“I’ve only known Eden for a few hours…but if anything happened to her, I would kill everyone in this room and then myself.” 

~“…I know you’re basically quoting B99 but it actually sounds terrifying when you say it.” 

~After that, Junior and Eden became inseparable. 

~They did just about everything together. They watched movies, listened to music, and went to the park and zoo a lot. 

~Most of the movies were Disney movies, so it involved a lot of singing and dancing from both of them. 

~Eden became fascinated with Junior’s guitar and would beg him to play for her all the time. They always obliged and eventually, he let her hold the guitar. 

~The sight was absolutely adorable because their guitar looked so much bigger than her, but Eden was holding it to her chest with a big smile. 

~Junior lost count over how many times he took her to the park. They always pushed her on the swings and would hold her hand if she was too nervous to go down a steep slide. 

~Junior also spends so much money on Eden whenever they go to the gift shop at the zoo. He just couldn’t say no to her. 

~Over time, they stopped calling her his half-sister. Eden was Junior’s sister. No half of anything. 

~Eden doing their makeup and nails was always a must. 

~Junior sometimes did his own makeup and painted their nails, but always let Eden do whatever she wanted. Her technique was sloppy when it came to the nail polish and he looked like a mess with the amount of eyeshadow, blush, and lipstick she would put on them. 

~But it was always fun and worth it to let Eden doll him up because of the big smile she would get on her face. 

~The amount of photos of Eden and Junior together on Junior, Lexy, Jake, Devon, and Harper’s phones are enough to fill up ten scrapbooks. 

~A month after they met, Junior turned 16. Eden made tons of pictures of the two of them together, all of which are hung up on his wall, and even a friendship bracelet. 

~They never take that bracelet off. 

~Piggy back rides happened hundreds of times. 

~Junior constantly has Eden on his back and she just clings onto them while he’s walking or running. 

~Sometimes they’ll carry her in his arms too, especially when she falls asleep. 

~Or have her thrown over their shoulder like she was a sack of potatoes. 

~All of these actions would leave Junior sore but her big smile and hysterical giggles were always worth it. 

~He’s lost count over how often they’ve played Princess with Eden. 

~Junior would admit, he enjoyed partially wearing a pink dress that certainly didn’t fit with a plastic crown on their head, despite the teasing he would get sometimes. 

~“Oh…my…god.” 

~“Don’t be jealous that I make a prettier princess than you do, Jacob.” 

~Junior has tons of nicknames for Eden. 

~The most popular are Edie, Eeds, Darling, Pumpkin, Sweetness, and Sweetheart. 

~Eden doesn’t have a lot of nicknames for Junior except for just a few, which are all variations of their name. 

~Jun, Junie, JJ, and her absolute favorite, Juna. 

~No one is allowed to call Junior Juna except Eden. 

~Jake made that mistake once and found out what it felt to be stomped on his bare foot by Junior’s strong boot. 

~When Halloween rolls around, they do matching costumes. Eden insisted and as Junior has shown many times, he just can’t say no to her. 

~They also take her to the houses that have the best and biggest candies. 

~It’s no secret how close they are. The others have joked about Eden being Junior’s “mini me” or “shadow.” 

~He’d be lying if they said that he didn’t like it. It was absolutely adorable how much she wanted to be like them. But he still encouraged her to be her own person and how she didn’t need to like everything that they liked. 

~He didn’t want her growing up the way they did, willing to change everything about himself and mold themself into another version of his father. 

~It would just fill her with emptiness and resentment and she sure as hell didn’t deserve that. Eden deserved to be happy and loved for being the way she was. 

~Junior learned how to braid hair for their sister. 

~It took some practice with Lexy and a couple others but eventually, he got it down enough to do all kinds of braids on Eden. 

~Eden would also braid their hair since Junior had been growing it out so the tips of his hair now touched their shoulders. 

~Her technique wasn’t as good, pretty sloppy with quite a bit of hair pulling, but she was five years old after all. 

~And Junior did think he looked quite cute in braids.

~Junior tries their hardest not to swear around Eden…

~…but fails constantly.

~“Ow! Fuck!” 

~“Fuck!” 

~“NONONONONONONONO—!” 

~Music was something that was always playing in Junior’s room. It helped not only to relax him, but also to inspire them to write his own music. 

~It didn’t take long for them to realize that Eden loved rock and heavy metal music. 

It was both cute and disturbing for those watching a child screaming “DISRESPECT YOUR SURROUNDINGS” in a high-pitched voice while aggressively head banging while her teenage brother did the exact same thing. 

~While Junior always had fun with Eden, there was always a sense of fear that never left him. 

~Chucky. 

~They lived in terror that one day Chucky could come back because he just knew that that fucker would never truly die. 

~And it scared them to know what could happen if Chucky came back and found out about the little sister of the teenager he didn’t manage to kill. 

~The most Junior could do without telling Eden the full story about Chucky was to make her promise him that she would not play with that doll and would call them immediately if it ever showed up. 

~“Darling, I need you to promise me something. If a Good Guy doll like that ever comes to your house, you tell your mom to call me and…say you want to play with dolls with me. Okay? That doll isn’t good, it’s bad. So you need to tell me IMMEDIATELY and I’ll make sure it goes away. Pinkie promise?” 

~“Pinkie promise, Juna!” 

~Junior hardly had any regrets about killing his father. 

~What they regretted was how he unknowingly helped with Chucky’s plan, used as a pawn in his game. 

~When they met Eden, he started to feel some more regret because their little sister would grow up never knowing their father. Even now, the memories she has of him are basically blips of a dream because she was only 3 years old when she last saw him. 

~But Junior becomes confident in the decision that he made when Harper confided in them about how Logan would be controlling over how Eden should dress or act. 

~His sister was a pink dress wearing girl that could be rowdy and enjoyed getting dirty. The latter were things that Logan didn’t want a girl to be doing. 

~It was only a matter of time before their father would start controlling and manipulating her as she grew older. 

He’d try to control her just like he controlled Junior.

~So it was better for Eden growing up with little to no memories of an emotionally abusive man. 

~Junior truly is a chaotic soul. There’s no level to their chaos. So it didn’t take long for his chaos to rub off on Eden. 

~They would pull pranks together on everyone. Especially Jake. He was their favorite victim. 

~“Don’t be such a baby, Jake!”

~“Yeah! Don’t be such a baby, Jake!”

~“Hey! Stop corrupting my kid cousin!” 

~Really, their combined chaos cannot be stopped. 

~“I’m begging you two…please just be good.” 

~“We would rather die.” 

~“Die! Die! Die!” 

~Junior knows that one day, they would have to explain almost everything to Eden, such as why they’re half siblings. 

~She wouldn’t understand everything now because she’s too young. So far, Eden’s content just knowing that she has a brother now and doesn’t need to know the details just yet. 

~That’s something he’ll worry about another day. Right now, they would rather enjoy being by her side and being her protector. 

~Speaking of protector, lord help anyone who tries to bully Eden. 

~“Junior, you can’t physically fight a kindergartener.” 

~“Like hell! My hands are rated E for EVERYONE!” 

~Junior did once catch a little boy pushing Eden at the park and he scared the kid so badly by threatening him that the boy peed his pants. 

~Eden thought it was absolutely hilarious and it made her feel a lot better about being pushed. 

~Junior was glad that it made her feel better too, but they still wanted Eden to defend herself. 

~“Eeds, if someone ever pushes you again...push them back. Hit them. Make them regret it. Just don’t tell your mom I said that, okay?” 

~“Okay! Can we get ice cream now?” 

~“Yeah, sure, let’s go get ice cream.” 

~Their personalities are both very similar yet different. 

~Junior and Eden are both introverted and then chaotic and mischievous to those who get to know them. But Junior prefers to only open himself up to their closest friends and family while Eden opens herself up fairly quickly to anyone who is nice to her. 

~Eden’s kindness makes Junior want to be a better person. She has a heart of gold and sees the good in everyone, the complete opposite of her brother. 

~He could only hope that no one ever tarnishes her light. 

~Christmas was always a hard holiday for Junior without their mother. It was something he didn’t expect would ever change. 

~Until they spent his first Christmas with Eden. 

~Seeing her give them badly wrapped gifts—Harper told him that Eden insisted on wrapping them herself—with the biggest smile on her face made Junior forget about how much the holiday pained them. 

~Sitting with his new family in front of the fireplace, stomach filled to the brim with food, exchanging stories with Eden sleeping peacefully on their lap with her head on his chest put things into perspective for them for the first time in a long time. 

~In the end, he found the peace and happiness they had been looking for so long. 

~Junior finally felt whole.

[risingsoleil]

Oooh! These ones please 🥺💕

Spring: Have you ever scrapped (a huge chunk of) a story to start over?  Why did the change come about?

Clouds: How clearly do you picture a scene before you start writing it down?

Metal: What’s the hardest part of writing for you?

I hope you're doing great, friend!

Spring: Have you ever scrapped (a huge chunk of) a story to start over?  Why did the change come about?

Yes! I did this with a fic for the "Where's on Earth is Carmen Sandiego?" fandom. It changed partly because I took a break from it and then had ideas on how to improve it, so I somewhat rewrote it. I think I started implementing those changes after about 6 months on a small hiatus. Another big change that I did was switching the cultures, but I shouldn't have focused on it as much as I did bc it wasn't central to the story.

Clouds: How clearly do you picture a scene before you start writing it down?

It depends. Some scenes are clear as day and I feel as if I'm there watching it unfold. From the smell of a character's perfume to whether it's night or day. When that happens, I can write a chapter pretty quickly. Other chapters are blurry and fuzzy bc I haven't figured out what I want to accomplish.

if Idk what to do, I usually brainstorm with someone lol that helps so much. Once I know what I want to accomplish, then I start building the scenario in my head (the interior, photos, layout, furniture, and what colors are going on. Is the place clean or messy?)

Metal: What’s the hardest part of writing for you?

Certain characters can be difficult to write like Bumi. Sometimes it's easy to write him, and other times it's hard. I think it depends on the AU or how old he is (e.g. young Bumi teasing Linzin is easy lol) The way I handle this is talking to other people in fandom about certain characters so I can better understand them. That's hard when it's the first time and you're intimidated by the big names of a ship haha I certainly get shy to take that first step online.

Overall, I struggle a lot with filler chapters. Building things up is not too difficult for me, but then when there's not much going on? Damn I struggle to figure out a scene or situation. Part of me is conflicted bc we sometimes need that filler for the pacing, but on the other hand, I wonder what does it accomplish?

Thank you for the lovely questions!! It was an honor to answer!

[aelaer]

For the trope ask:

Kidnapped Stephen Strange (😅 jk)

AU Fantasy (characters turned into dragons or set in a fantasy world for example)

Hahahah. That's too easy.

AU Fantasy is interesting. Hmm. I'm considering it as the world itself rather than shapeshifting into a dragon since that's basically the same as a cat or dog or something--unless it's in a medieval-like world, which is, well, AU fantasy anyway xD

Solid C

It wasn't something I read in LOTR since, well, duh. I first encountered it in Sherlock and I found some good ones, some eh ones, and some "ah this is tripe" ones. Basically same deal with the MCU.

Basically a good author can sell it really well, and a mediocre author will remain mediocre or outright bad. Fantasy AUs require some world building, but keeping the character the core of what makes them them can be difficult in AU settings.

A big reason I don't like AUs like Dark AUs or Mafia AUs or something similar is that in order for it to work, the author usually has to change core aspects about the character's personality to make it work. In the MCU, I like the characters not because they're played by Benedict Cumberbatch or Robert Downey Jr or Tom Hiddleston or what have you, but because I like the characters for who they are. I like their personalities, and a core part of their personalities is their morality. Some AUs that are in the darker spheres have to completely contort these personalities because that's the nature of the AU. But in my head, they're not the character anymore; they're just wearing the character's name and appearance.

Some really, really talented authors can make the Dark AU work by showing the descent into darkness. A really excellent example of this is The Price of Ambition by technetium43 which has a couple versions of Stephen and shows excellent, excellent paths into how they came into the way they came to be. I think for a Dark version of a character to work (that isn't established in canon), it's an author's job to show us how this happened. It's something I also attempted to do in my Earth-197320 series, which also has multiple Stephens, one less good than the other. Whether I accomplish this successfully is up to the reader.

But you're not asking about Dark AU, you're asking about Fantasy. The reason I brought up those other AUs is that Fantasy AUs often have a difficult time keeping a character's personality consistent, at least moreso than in the home universe. Because of this, the character often doesn't feel like the character that I fell in love with due to his character traits, and so I find the story less interesting. If the author can build another background that can keep those traits and it make sense, I'm more likely to enjoy the story. If they have a good plot to accompany it, all the better.

I know both Imagined and FriendlyNeighborhoodFangirls created multi-chapter fantasy AUs 3-5 years ago that had solid world-building and well-characterized Stephen Stranges, if you're looking for recommendations. Should be easy enough to find in their profiles. I'm also open to recs as I may have very well missed some as I don't go looking for the trope. I did try to RP it on Discord one time but it didn't go anywhere, haha.

The closest I've gone into the trope is my LOTR/MCU crossover and that's probably as close as I'll ever get to it. (Funny story - one of my latest reviews on that fic was actually on fanfiction.net as I was still posting there when I wrote this, and it was like a Good Reads review which was just hilarious to me. They didn't like it, but that's okay cuz I didn't write it for them, I wrote it for me. My Strange is still rough in this one though; I was still getting his character down while writing it and I think a bit too much Sherlock slipped in from time to time.)

Yeah, a lot of this is off topic and long, but would you expect anything less from me?

Original: Ask me to grade a trope.

[seeyouafter]

SYA Extended Notes Ch. 4

Excerpt from "See You After" Chapter 4: May 31: Bakugou to Todoroki

I heard what you did that day, how you kept creating those insane ice constructs, how you and Iida went so fast you broke the fucking sound barrier. I saw the pictures of that giant wall of ice. Even now, people won’t shut up about how you saved the fucking day. Of course you did. You’re a goddamn hero. 

Manga references in this chapter: (355, 383, 389/390)

Even though the fic is centered around Katsuki and Shouto, the rest of Class A will also show up regularly throughout this fic. I couldn't resist including details from the final war arc when Katsuki wrote about his friends visiting.

Ch. 383 - Mina's big moment melting through Gigantomachia

I love Mina and I really liked the mention of her training with Shouto and Katsuki to get stronger between the PLF arc and the Final War.

Especially after this bit in Ch. 321 (From Class A to One For All)

Even though there's not much mention of it in canon other than that, it make sense that she would train with them a lot since she also has an emitter-type quirk and a lot of the principals are probably similar.

Also, I really like the idea of Kirishima telling everyone how awesome Mina is. Whether you choose to read their relationship as platonic or romantic, I really love their shared history.

Ch. 355 - Jirou standing up to AFO

It pains me to think about what happened to her and how her quirk will be affected after this. (Will she be able to regrow her earphone jack, or is she going to have to live with her quirk permanently damaged?)

For this fic, I'm going with a hopeful interpretation that she can somehow recover enough that she can continue her journey to become a hero. (I also, really liked her little speech when she was facing off against AFO about how she doesn't care about being scared or about strength, weakness, or power. For her all that mattered was her friends)

Ch. 389/390 - Shouto and Iida's speed-run and Great Glacial Aegir (round 2)

I've already touched on how Shouto is bound to deal with some aftereffects from pushing himself so hard both physically and emotionally. However, I think it was important to have Katsuki put it into words how he feels about what Shouto was able to accomplish while also validating the fact that he needs time to heal.

Regarding the nicknames (or lack thereof)

I went back and forth as to whether Katsuki should call the others by their nicknames in this letter and I felt like it didn't quite fit with the tone of this chapter. In my mind, he definitely still calls them all those stupid nicknames when he's talking to them but since he's making an effort to use Izuku's given name, it makes sense that he would be referring to the others properly too. (He's come a long way from calling everyone "extras".)

Also, I headcanon that he calls Jirou by her real name more than some of the others because she's not shy about correcting him.

For example: during the joint training battles (Ch. 207)

He's still calling Shouto various nicknames since he's speaking directly to him. (We'll see him cycle through all the nicknames as they continue writing to each other.)

About the Recent Chapters and potential spoilers:

I posted this chapter on 10/18, (2 days after the official release of Ch. 403 and 1 day after ch. 404 leaks)...so, that was an experience.

However, nothing in this chapter of the fic i actually a spoiler because this entire "Hospital Letters" arc was originally drafted in June and I just assumed that certain things would happen so the spoiler-that-isn't-a-spoiler was already part of the story. (That will change in later chapters of the fic because I can't not reference what happened in 404)

At some point I'm going to have to stop trying to include stuff from canon and just let things run their course but we'll see how far I can get before then.

[aragarna]

26, 55, 59, 73

Or if that’s too many pick your fav from those! 🙈🥰😅

26. Which of your fics would you call your wildest ride?

I guess the first one felt like the wildest thing. I had no idea what I was doing, it was both exhilarating and terrifying. It felt HUGE. And mind you, it was a huge accomplishment for me. I had never written any story before. I didn't even know I was capable of such a thing. So yeah, that felt wild.

(It definitely isn't that wild, and clearly not my best fic, so there's no need to go dig it and share it again. But it *felt* wild).

Everytime I step into a new fandom feels quite wild, too. It's the unknown territory, I suppose.

55. Of the characters you write for, which is your favorite? Has that choice been swayed at all by your followers/readers’ reactions to certain ones?

For each fandom I have a favorite. That one characters that I have a lot of feelings for and who is the one that makes me want to write about. It's Peter Burke, it's John Reese, it's Henry Morgan. It's Diego de la Vega. And no, the fandom's opinion won't change a thing. I survived S5 of White Collar at the peak of the fandom, and my love of Peter Burke never wavered, no matter hard the fandom was with him. I write them the way I love them.

I do occasionally write stories focusing on other characters, often prompted by someone else's wishes, for an exchange or something. But my love for my favorite will always remain, especially given that all those fandoms are closed canon, so there's nothing they can do that would make me change my mind now.

59. Does anyone in your personal life know you write fic? if not, would you tell anyone?

A couple of fandom friends who became real life friends (though I think only one of them has actually read anything I wrote). I did mention it (vaguely, in passing, as if it was like no big deal, just a vague hobby of mine...) to my 2 best friends. They didn't really pick up on it, so I'm not sure they remember me saying it. They're not really into fandoms and we don't like the same shows, so I'm fairly certain they never went looking for my fics. (They do know my online name though cause it's one of them who gave me that name!)

73. What do you think makes your writing stand out from other works?

It remains gen in a sea of ships. And specifically in the White Collar fandom, it's Peter or Peter/El-centric among a majority of Neal-centric fics.

Thank you for asking! :-)

[crackedrockskunta]

ratella remastered: in the beginning.

old tumblr had some beautiful fan fic of a homophobic ratty looking man from school, rewriting for the sake of all that is beauty.

i stand, stare and disbelieve the sight before my eyes, I am finally graduating high school and while I am more terrified than ever of what is to come, I know that this is going to open my chances of not only accomplishing everything I've ever wanted, but becoming the girl I was meant to be.

all my life I knew I was different, ever sense I was enrolled into the cheese nibbler academy for divergent and violent rats in kindergarten I knew that something was off about who I wanted to be. off about how when I looked at the most beautiful girls in my class, I felt not a sense of love or sweaty hands and typical childhood emotions, but a feeling of intense and unfixable envy. I pushed this as deep as I could, assuming the alpha male position in my school years binge influences by the works of the most inspirational men I could find to repress my identity. Ben Shapiro, Andrew Tate and of course Dreamybull. but thought my elementary school these urge to dress and act more feminine and truly my self did not dissipate, this caused me to repel against all of my natural instincts I was taught at the academy.

so I turned to violence, bullying every smaller rat, mouse and my biggest achievement the eldest neighborhood Cat Maswon Gyatfreigh after I almost fell victim to eating from his litter box. this continued through my young adult life, but no matter how many fights I started and then lost to or how bruised and bloody I was, I always felt an invisible pull towards something more, something I couldn't ever put my finger on as a source for all my hurt and anger.

it wasn't until I was in my last years as a little nibbler that I had finally met my match, my legs never got any bigger but my ego sure did, eventually leading to me finding the man who I realize now changed my life for the better. I was in the hallway at the academy and one of my notorious rivals "the Parm packer" challenged me to a dual which I could not refuse, I began to fight with my friends around me and fully beloved I should take him on, but within 5 seconds I was swept off my feet by his big strong arms. as he began to jump on my head, I felt my skull bang against the floor and the flashes of the cameras were exaggerated beyond anything I had seen, but with one last bang he was pulled away from me and my saving grace was there, the dean of students Melty Briar was there scooping me off the floor and showing the cameras away.

in the days following I came to the most shocking realization I ever had, I was not me. well I was of course but in the way that my body matched my face and my face my hair, but where does my soul fit there? in short, it didn't. I only had a few more years at the academy To go, but after the continuous fighting I was forced to leave for my own safety. while I was home I tried to body build but no matter what I did I never felt like anything of any meaning was changing the way my own soul did not fit into my body. it hit my like a truck 2 weeks after the fight, I just was in the bathroom one day looking down in the shower, slicking my wet fur with soap when the thought went across my head. "imagine I you just had some more curve there?" it seemed innocent enough and I assumed it was just more muscle definition so I started following workout videos on how to grow my hips, glutes, and shrink my waist, this was all rationalized in my head. I had found something I was happy with and it was always a bit more, a bit less there, all until the first time I got misgendered at the grocery store. I couldn't help but like it, even online I had started to go by my name now "Ratella" but there was no way I was a woman, right? was there?