#a bi cis man handed three incredibly queer children and becoming the healthy parental figure none of them have

[dark-elf-writes]

No massacre au where Sakura and Naruto take one look at Itachi and declare that as the only one of them with a big brother Sasuke has to share (no one consulted itachi on this which valid) so all of the sudden Itachi has three baby genin following him around thinking he’s the coolest person ever and also coming to him for advice/comfort/to annoy and he is both charmed and incredibly fucking smug because not only can he gloat that Kakashi’s students like him more he has been pushing the line for how much he can interact with Naruto for years but if the kid is now A) a ninja and B) coming to him there’s nothing Hiruzen can do to stop Itachi from treating them like a younger sibling.

(He is a bit out of his depth however when Naruto and Sakura both come to him with Gender Questions™️ but man would do so much research for these kids that adopted him as a brother)