#a best computer lab for your kid

[mostlysignssomeportents]

“Disenshittify or Die”

I'm coming to BURNING MAN! On TUESDAY (Aug 27) at 1PM, I'm giving a talk called "DISENSHITTIFY OR DIE!" at PALENQUE NORTE (7&E). On WEDNESDAY (Aug 28) at NOON, I'm doing a "Talking Caterpillar" Q&A at LIMINAL LABS (830&C).

Last weekend, I traveled to Las Vegas for Defcon 32, where I had the immense privilege of giving a solo talk on Track 1, entitled "Disenshittify or die! How hackers can seize the means of computation and build a new, good internet that is hardened against our asshole bosses' insatiable horniness for enshittification":

https://info.defcon.org/event/?id=54861

This was a followup to last year's talk, "An Audacious Plan to Halt the Internet's Enshittification," a talk that kicked off a lot of international interest in my analysis of platform decay ("enshittification"):

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rimtaSgGz_4

The Defcon organizers have earned a restful week or two, and that means that the video of my talk hasn't yet been posted to Defcon's Youtube channel, so in the meantime, I thought I'd post a lightly edited version of my speech crib. If you're headed to Burning Man, you can hear me reprise this talk at Palenque Norte (7&E); I'm kicking off their lecture series on Tuesday, Aug 27 at 1PM.

==

What the fuck happened to the old, good internet?

I mean, sure, our bosses were a little surveillance-happy, and they were usually up for sharing their data with the NSA, and whenever there was a tossup between user security and growth, it was always YOLO time.

But Google Search used to work. Facebook used to show you posts from people you followed. Uber used to be cheaper than a taxi and pay the driver more than a cabbie made. Amazon used to sell products, not Shein-grade self-destructing dropshipped garbage from all-consonant brands. Apple used to defend your privacy, rather than spying on you with your no-modifications-allowed Iphone.

There was a time when you searching for an album on Spotify would get you that album – not a playlist of insipid AI-generated covers with the same name and art.

Microsoft used to sell you software – sure, it was buggy – but now they just let you access apps in the cloud, so they can watch how you use those apps and strip the features you use the most out of the basic tier and turn them into an upcharge.

What – and I cannot stress this enough – the fuck happened?!

I’m talking about enshittification.

Here’s what enshittification looks like from the outside: First, you see a company that’s being good to its end users. Google puts the best search results at the top; Facebook shows you a feed of posts from people and groups you followl; Uber charges small dollars for a cab; Amazon subsidizes goods and returns and shipping and puts the best match for your product search at the top of the page.

That’s stage one, being good to end users. But there’s another part of this stage, call it stage 1a). That’s figuring out how to lock in those users.

There’s so many ways to lock in users.

If you’re Facebook, the users do it for you. You joined Facebook because there were people there you wanted to hang out with, and other people joined Facebook to hang out with you.

That’s the old “network effects” in action, and with network effects come “the collective action problem." Because you love your friends, but goddamn are they a pain in the ass! You all agree that FB sucks, sure, but can you all agree on when it’s time to leave?

No way.

Can you agree on where to go next?

Hell no.

You’re there because that’s where the support group for your rare disease hangs out, and your bestie is there because that’s where they talk with the people in the country they moved away from, then there’s that friend who coordinates their kid’s little league car pools on FB, and the best dungeon master you know isn’t gonna leave FB because that’s where her customers are.

So you’re stuck, because even though FB use comes at a high cost – your privacy, your dignity and your sanity – that’s still less than the switching cost you’d have to bear if you left: namely, all those friends who have taken you hostage, and whom you are holding hostage

Now, sometimes companies lock you in with money, like Amazon getting you to prepay for a year’s shipping with Prime, or to buy your Audible books on a monthly subscription, which virtually guarantees that every shopping search will start on Amazon, after all, you’ve already paid for it.

Sometimes, they lock you in with DRM, like HP selling you a printer with four ink cartridges filled with fluid that retails for more than $10,000/gallon, and using DRM to stop you from refilling any of those ink carts or using a third-party cartridge. So when one cart runs dry, you have to refill it or throw away your investment in the remaining three cartridges and the printer itself.

Sometimes, it’s a grab bag:

You can’t run your Ios apps without Apple hardware;

you can’t run your Apple music, books and movies on anything except an Ios app;

your iPhone uses parts pairing – DRM handshakes between replacement parts and the main system – so you can’t use third-party parts to fix it; and

every OEM iPhone part has a microscopic Apple logo engraved on it, so Apple can demand that the US Customs and Border Service seize any shipment of refurb Iphone parts as trademark violations.

Think Different, amirite?

Getting you locked in completes phase one of the enshittification cycle and signals the start of phase two: making things worse for you to make things better for business customers.

For example, a platform might poison its search results, like Google selling more and more of its results pages to ads that are identified with lighter and lighter tinier and tinier type.

Or Amazon selling off search results and calling it an “ad” business. They make $38b/year on this scam. The first result for your search is, on average, 29% more expensive than the best match for your search. The first row is 25% more expensive than the best match. On average, the best match for your search is likely to be found seventeen places down on the results page.

Other platforms sell off your feed, like Facebook, which started off showing you the things you asked to see, but now the quantum of content from the people you follow has dwindled to a homeopathic residue, leaving a void that Facebook fills with things that people pay to show you: boosted posts from publishers you haven’t subscribed to, and, of course, ads.

Now at this point you might be thinking ‘sure, if you’re not paying for the product, you’re the product.'

Bullshit!

Bull.

Shit.

The people who buy those Google ads? They pay more every year for worse ad-targeting and more ad-fraud

Those publishers paying to nonconsensually cram their content into your Facebook feed? They have to do that because FB suppresses their ability to reach the people who actually subscribed to them

The Amazon sellers with the best match for your query have to outbid everyone else just to show up on the first page of results. It costs so much to sell on Amazon that between 45-51% of every dollar an independent seller brings in has to be kicked up to Don Bezos and the Amazon crime family. Those sellers don’t have the kind of margins that let them pay 51% They have to raise prices in order to avoid losing money on every sale.

"But wait!" I hear you say!

[Come on, say it!]

"But wait! Things on Amazon aren’t more expensive that things at Target, or Walmart, or at a mom and pop store, or direct from the manufacturer.

"How can sellers be raising prices on Amazon if the price at Amazon is the same as at is everywhere else?"

[Any guesses?!]

That’s right, they charge more everywhere. They have to. Amazon binds its sellers to a policy called “most favored nation status,” which says they can’t charge more on Amazon than they charge elsewhere, including direct from their own factory store.

So every seller that wants to sell on Amazon has to raise their prices everywhere else.

Now, these sellers are Amazon’s best customers. They’re paying for the product, and they’re still getting screwed.

Paying for the product doesn’t fill your vapid boss’s shriveled heart with so much joy that he decides to stop trying to think of ways to fuck you over.

Look at Apple. Remember when Apple offered every Ios user a one-click opt out for app-based surveillance? And 96% of users clicked that box?

(The other four percent were either drunk or Facebook employees or drunk Facebook employees.)

That cost Facebook at least ten billion dollars per year in lost surveillance revenue?

I mean, you love to see it.

But did you know that at the same time Apple started spying on Ios users in the same way that Facebook had been, for surveillance data to use to target users for its competing advertising product?

Your Iphone isn’t an ad-supported gimme. You paid a thousand fucking dollars for that distraction rectangle in your pocket, and you’re still the product. What’s more, Apple has rigged Ios so that you can’t mod the OS to block its spying.

If you’re not not paying for the product, you’re the product, and if you are paying for the product, you’re still the product.

Just ask the farmers who are expected to swap parts into their own busted half-million dollar, mission-critical tractors, but can’t actually use those parts until a technician charges them $200 to drive out to the farm and type a parts pairing unlock code into their console.

John Deere’s not giving away tractors. Give John Deere a half mil for a tractor and you will be the product.

Please, my brothers and sisters in Christ. Please! Stop saying ‘if you’re not paying for the product, you’re the product.’

OK, OK, so that’s phase two of enshittification.

Phase one: be good to users while locking them in.

Phase two: screw the users a little to you can good to business customers while locking them in.

Phase three: screw everybody and take all the value for yourself. Leave behind the absolute bare minimum of utility so that everyone stays locked into your pile of shit.

Enshittification: a tragedy in three acts.

That’s what enshittification looks like from the outside, but what’s going on inside the company? What is the pathological mechanism? What sci-fi entropy ray converts the excellent and useful service into a pile of shit?

That mechanism is called twiddling. Twiddling is when someone alters the back end of a service to change how its business operates, changing prices, costs, search ranking, recommendation criteria and other foundational aspects of the system.

Digital platforms are a twiddler’s utopia. A grocer would need an army of teenagers with pricing guns on rollerblades to reprice everything in the building when someone arrives who’s extra hungry.

Whereas the McDonald’s Investments portfolio company Plexure advertises that it can use surveillance data to predict when an app user has just gotten paid so the seller can tack an extra couple bucks onto the price of their breakfast sandwich.

And of course, as the prophet William Gibson warned us, ‘cyberspace is everting.' With digital shelf tags, grocers can change prices whenever they feel like, like the grocers in Norway, whose e-ink shelf tags change the prices 2,000 times per day.

Every Uber driver is offered a different wage for every job. If a driver has been picky lately, the job pays more. But if the driver has been desperate enough to grab every ride the app offers, the pay goes down, and down, and down.

The law professor Veena Dubal calls this ‘algorithmic wage discrimination.' It’s a prime example of twiddling.

Every youtuber knows what it’s like to be twiddled. You work for weeks or months, spend thousands of dollars to make a video, then the algorithm decides that no one – not your own subscribers, not searchers who type in the exact name of your video – will see it.

Why? Who knows? The algorithm’s rules are not public.

Because content moderation is the last redoubt of security through obscurit: they can’t tell you what the como algorithm is downranking because then you’d cheat.

Youtube is the kind of shitty boss who docks every paycheck for all the rules you’ve broken, but won’t tell you what those rules were, lest you figure out how to break those rules next time without your boss catching you.

Twiddling can also work in some users’ favor, of course. Sometimes platforms twiddle to make things better for end users or business customers.

For example, Emily Baker-White from Forbes revealed the existence of a back-end feature that Tiktok’s management can access they call the “heating tool.”

When a manager applies the heating toll to a performer’s account, that performer’s videos are thrust into the feeds of millions of users, without regard to whether the recommendation algorithm predicts they will enjoy that video.

Why would they do this? Well, here’s an analogy from my boyhood I used to go to this traveling fair that would come to Toronto at the end of every summer, the Canadian National Exhibition. If you’ve been to a fair like the Ex, you know that you can always spot some guy lugging around a comedically huge teddy bear.

Nominally, you win that teddy bear by throwing five balls in a peach-basket, but to a first approximation, no one has ever gotten five balls to stay in that peach-basket.

That guy “won” the teddy bear when a carny on the midway singled him out and said, "fella, I like your face. Tell you what I’m gonna do: You get just one ball in the basket and I’ll give you this keychain, and if you amass two keychains, I’ll let you trade them in for one of these galactic-scale teddy-bears."

That’s how the guy got his teddy bear, which he now has to drag up and down the midway for the rest of the day.

Why the hell did that carny give away the teddy bear? Because it turns the guy into a walking billboard for the midway games. If that dopey-looking Judas Goat can get five balls into a peach basket, then so can you.

Except you can’t.

Tiktok’s heating tool is a way to give away tactical giant teddy bears. When someone in the TikTok brain trust decides they need more sports bros on the platform, they pick one bro out at random and make him king for the day, heating the shit out of his account.

That guy gets a bazillion views and he starts running around on all the sports bro forums trumpeting his success: *I am the Louis Pasteur of sports bro influencers!"

The other sports bros pile in and start retooling to make content that conforms to the idiosyncratic Tiktok format. When they fail to get giant teddy bears of their own, they assume that it’s because they’re doing Tiktok wrong, because they don’t know about the heating tool.

But then comes the day when the TikTok Star Chamber decides they need to lure in more astrologers, so they take the heat off that one lucky sports bro, and start heating up some lucky astrologer.

Giant teddy bears are all over the place: those Uber drivers who were boasting to the NYT ten years ago about earning $50/hour? The Substackers who were rolling in dough? Joe Rogan and his hundred million dollar Spotify payout? Those people are all the proud owners of giant teddy bears, and they’re a steal.

Because every dollar they get from the platform turns into five dollars worth of free labor from suckers who think they just internetting wrong.

Giant teddy bears are just one way of twiddling. Platforms can play games with every part of their business logic, in highly automated ways, that allows them to quickly and efficiently siphon value from end users to business customers and back again, hiding the pea in a shell game conducted at machine speeds, until they’ve got everyone so turned around that they take all the value for themselves.

That’s the how: How the platforms do the trick where they are good to users, then lock users in, then maltreat users to be good to business customers, then lock in those business customers, then take all the value for themselves.

So now we know what is happening, and how it is happening, all that’s left is why it’s happening.

Now, on the one hand, the why is pretty obvious. The less value that end-users and business customers capture, the more value there is left to divide up among the shareholders and the executives.

That’s why, but it doesn’t tell you why now. Companies could have done this shit at any time in the past 20 years, but they didn’t. Or at least, the successful ones didn’t. The ones that turned themselves into piles of shit got treated like piles of shit. We avoided them and they died.

Remember Myspace? Yahoo Search? Livejournal? Sure, they’re still serving some kind of AI slop or programmatic ad junk if you hit those domains, but they’re gone.

And there’s the clue: It used to be that if you enshittified your product, bad things happened to your company. Now, there are no consequences for enshittification, so everyone’s doing it.

Let’s break that down: What stops a company from enshittifying?

There are four forces that discipline tech companies. The first one is, obviously, competition.

If your customers find it easy to leave, then you have to worry about them leaving

Many factors can contribute to how hard or easy it is to depart a platform, like the network effects that Facebook has going for it. But the most important factor is whether there is anywhere to go.

Back in 2012, Facebook bought Insta for a billion dollars. That may seem like chump-change in these days of eleven-digit Big Tech acquisitions, but that was a big sum in those innocent days, and it was an especially big sum to pay for Insta. The company only had 13 employees, and a mere 25 million registered users.

But what mattered to Zuckerberg wasn’t how many users Insta had, it was where those users came from.

[Does anyone know where those Insta users came from?]

That’s right, they left Facebook and joined Insta. They were sick of FB, even though they liked the people there, they hated creepy Zuck, they hated the platform, so they left and they didn’t come back.

So Zuck spent a cool billion to recapture them, A fact he put in writing in a midnight email to CFO David Ebersman, explaining that he was paying over the odds for Insta because his users hated him, and loved Insta. So even if they quit Facebook (the platform), they would still be captured Facebook (the company).

Now, on paper, Zuck’s Instagram acquisition is illegal, but normally, that would be hard to stop, because you’d have to prove that he bought Insta with the intention of curtailing competition.

But in this case, Zuck tripped over his own dick: he put it in writing.

But Obama’s DoJ and FTC just let that one slide, following the pro-monopoly policies of Reagan, Bush I, Clinton and Bush II, and setting an example that Trump would follow, greenlighting gigamergers like the catastrophic, incestuous Warner-Discovery marriage.

Indeed, for 40 years, starting with Carter, and accelerating through Reagan, the US has encouraged monopoly formation, as an official policy, on the grounds that monopolies are “efficient.”

If everyone is using Google Search, that’s something we should celebrate. It means they’ve got the very best search and wouldn’t it be perverse to spend public funds to punish them for making the best product?

But as we all know, Google didn’t maintain search dominance by being best. They did it by paying bribes. More than 20 billion per year to Apple alone to be the default Ios search, plus billions more to Samsung, Mozilla, and anyone else making a product or service with a search-box on it, ensuring that you never stumble on a search engine that’s better than theirs.

Which, in turn, ensured that no one smart invested big in rival search engines, even if they were visibly, obviously superior. Why bother making something better if Google’s buying up all the market oxygen before it can kindle your product to life?

Facebook, Google, Microsoft, Amazon – they’re not “making things” companies, they’re “buying things” companies, taking advantage of official tolerance for anticompetitive acquisitions, predatory pricing, market distorting exclusivity deals and other acts specifically prohibited by existing antitrust law.

Their goal is to become too big to fail, because that makes them too big to jail, and that means they can be too big to care.

Which is why Google Search is a pile of shit and everything on Amazon is dropshipped garbage that instantly disintegrates in a cloud of offgassed volatile organic compounds when you open the box.

Once companies no longer fear losing your business to a competitor, it’s much easier for them to treat you badly, because what’re you gonna do?

Remember Lily Tomlin as Ernestine the AT&T operator in those old SNL sketches? “We don’t care. We don’t have to. We’re the phone company.”

Competition is the first force that serves to discipline companies and the enshittificatory impulses of their leadership, and we just stopped enforcing competition law.

It takes a special kind of smooth-brained asshole – that is, an establishment economist – to insist that the collapse of every industry from eyeglasses to vitamin C into a cartel of five or fewer companies has nothing to do with policies that officially encouraged monopolization.

It’s like we used to put down rat poison and we didn’t have a rat problem. Then these dickheads convinced us that rats were good for us and we stopped putting down rat poison, and now rats are gnawing our faces off and they’re all running around saying, "Who’s to say where all these rats came from? Maybe it was that we stopped putting down poison, but maybe it’s just the Time of the Rats. The Great Forces of History bearing down on this moment to multiply rats beyond all measure!"

Antitrust didn’t slip down that staircase and fall spine-first on that stiletto: they stabbed it in the back and then they pushed it.

And when they killed antitrust, they also killed regulation, the second force that disciplines companies. Regulation is possible, but only when the regulator is more powerful than the regulated entities. When a company is bigger than the government, it gets damned hard to credibly threaten to punish that company, no matter what its sins.

That’s what protected IBM for all those years when it had its boot on the throat of the American tech sector. Do you know, the DOJ fought to break up IBM in the courts from 1970-1982, and that every year, for 12 consecutive years, IBM spent more on lawyers to fight the USG than the DOJ Antitrust Division spent on all the lawyers fighting every antitrust case in the entire USA?

IBM outspent Uncle Sam for 12 years. People called it “Antitrust’s Vietnam.” All that money paid off, because by 1982, the president was Ronald Reagan, a man whose official policy was that monopolies were “efficient." So he dropped the case, and Big Blue wriggled off the hook.

It’s hard to regulate a monopolist, and it’s hard to regulate a cartel. When a sector is composed of hundreds of competing companies, they compete. They genuinely fight with one another, trying to poach each others’ customers and workers. They are at each others’ throats.

It’s hard enough for a couple hundred executives to agree on anything. But when they’re legitimately competing with one another, really obsessing about how to eat each others’ lunches, they can’t agree on anything.

The instant one of them goes to their regulator with some bullshit story, about how it’s impossible to have a decent search engine without fine-grained commercial surveillance; or how it’s impossible to have a secure and easy to use mobile device without a total veto over which software can run on it; or how it’s impossible to administer an ISP’s network unless you can slow down connections to servers whose owners aren’t paying bribes for “premium carriage"; there’s some *other company saying, “That’s bullshit”

“We’ve managed it! Here’s our server logs, our quarterly financials and our customer testimonials to prove it.”

100 companies are a rabble, they're a mob. They can’t agree on a lobbying position. They’re too busy eating each others’ lunch to agree on how to cater a meeting to discuss it.

But let those hundred companies merge to monopoly, absorb one another in an incestuous orgy, turn into five giant companies, so inbred they’ve got a corporate Habsburg jaw, and they become a cartel.

It’s easy for a cartel to agree on what bullshit they’re all going to feed their regulator, and to mobilize some of the excess billions they’ve reaped through consolidation, which freed them from “wasteful competition," sp they can capture their regulators completely.

You know, Congress used to pass federal consumer privacy laws? Not anymore.

The last time Congress managed to pass a federal consumer privacy law was in 1988: The Video Privacy Protection Act. That’s a law that bans video-store clerks from telling newspapers what VHS cassettes you take home. In other words, it regulates three things that have effectively ceased to exist.

The threat of having your video rental history out there in the public eye was not the last or most urgent threat the American public faced, and yet, Congress is deadlocked on passing a privacy law.

Tech companies’ regulatory capture involves a risible and transparent gambit, that is so stupid, it’s an insult to all the good hardworking risible transparent ruses out there.

Namely, they claim that when they violate your consumer, privacy or labor rights, It’s not a crime, because they do it with an app.

Algorithmic wage discrimination isn’t illegal wage theft: we do it with an app.

Spying on you from asshole to appetite isn’t a privacy violation: we do it with an app.

And Amazon’s scam search tool that tricks you into paying 29% more than the best match for your query? Not a ripoff. We do it with an app.

Once we killed competition – stopped putting down rat poison – we got cartels – the rats ate our faces. And the cartels captured their regulators – the rats bought out the poison factory and shut it down.

So companies aren’t constrained by competition or regulation.

But you know what? This is tech, and tech is different.IIt’s different because it’s flexible. Because our computers are Turing-complete universal von Neumann machines. That means that any enshittificatory alteration to a program can be disenshittified with another program.

Every time HP jacks up the price of ink , they invite a competitor to market a refill kit or a compatible cartridge.

When Tesla installs code that says you have to pay an extra monthly fee to use your whole battery, they invite a modder to start selling a kit to jailbreak that battery and charge it all the way up.

Lemme take you through a little example of how that works: Imagine this is a product design meeting for our company’s website, and the guy leading the meeting says “Dudes, you know how our KPI is topline ad-revenue? Well, I’ve calculated that if we make the ads just 20% more invasive and obnoxious, we’ll boost ad rev by 2%”

This is a good pitch. Hit that KPI and everyone gets a fat bonus. We can all take our families on a luxury ski vacation in Switzerland.

But here’s the thing: someone’s gonna stick their arm up – someone who doesn’t give a shit about user well-being, and that person is gonna say, “I love how you think, Elon. But has it occurred to you that if we make the ads 20% more obnoxious, then 40% of our users will go to a search engine and type 'How do I block ads?'"

I mean, what a nightmare! Because once a user does that, the revenue from that user doesn’t rise to 102%. It doesn’t stay at 100% It falls to zero, forever.

[Any guesses why?]

Because no user ever went back to the search engine and typed, 'How do I start seeing ads again?'

Once the user jailbreaks their phone or discovers third party ink, or develops a relationship with an independent Tesla mechanic who’ll unlock all the DLC in their car, that user is gone, forever.

Interoperability – that latent property bequeathed to us courtesy of Herrs Turing and Von Neumann and their infinitely flexible, universal machines – that is a serious check on enshittification.

The fact that Congress hasn’t passed a privacy law since 1988 Is countered, at least in part, by the fact that the majority of web users are now running ad-blockers, which are also tracker-blockers.

But no one’s ever installed a tracker-blocker for an app. Because reverse engineering an app puts in you jeopardy of criminal and civil prosecution under Section 1201 of the Digital Millennium Copyright Act, with penalties of a 5-year prison sentence and a $500k fine for a first offense.

And violating its terms of service puts you in jeopardy under the Computer Fraud and Abuse Act of 1986, which is the law that Ronald Reagan signed in a panic after watching Wargames (seriously!).

Helping other users violate the terms of service can get you hit with a lawsuit for tortious interference with contract. And then there’s trademark, copyright and patent.

All that nonsense we call “IP,” but which Jay Freeman of Cydia calls “Felony Contempt of Business Model."

So if we’re still at that product planning meeting and now it’s time to talk about our app, the guy leading the meeting says, “OK, so we’ll make the ads in the app 20% more obnoxious to pull a 2% increase in topline ad rev?”

And that person who objected to making the website 20% worse? Their hand goes back up. Only this time they say “Why don’t we make the ads 100% more invasive and get a 10% increase in ad rev?"

Because it doesn't matter if a user goes to a search engine and types, “How do I block ads in an app." The answer is: you can't. So YOLO, enshittify away.

“IP” is just a euphemism for “any law that lets me reach outside my company’s walls to exert coercive control over my critics, competitors and customers,” and “app” is just a euphemism for “A web page skinned with the right IP so that protecting your privacy while you use it is a felony.”

Interop used to keep companies from enshittifying. If a company made its client suck, someone would roll out an alternative client, if they ripped a feature out and wanted to sell it back to you as a monthly subscription, someone would make a compatible plugin that restored it for a one-time fee, or for free.

To help people flee Myspace, FB gave them bots that you’d load with your login credentials. It would scrape your waiting Myspace messages and put ‘em in your FB inbox, and login to Myspace and paste your replies into your Myspace outbox. So you didn’t have to choose between the people you loved on Myspace, and Facebook, which launched with a promise never to spy on you. Remember that?!

Thanks to the metastasis of IP, all that is off the table today. Apple owes its very existence to iWork Suite, whose Pages, Numbers and Keynote are file-compatible with Microsoft’s Word, Excel and Powerpoint. But make an IOS runtime that’ll play back the files you bought from Apple’s stores on other platforms, and they’ll nuke you til you glow.

FB wouldn’t have had a hope of breaking Myspace’s grip on social media without that scrape, but scrape FB today in support of an alternative client and their lawyers will bomb you til the rubble bounces.

Google scraped every website in the world to create its search index. Try and scrape Google and they’ll have your head on a pike.

When they did it, it was progress. When you do it to them, that’s piracy. Every pirate wants to be an admiral.

Because this handful of companies has so thoroughly captured their regulators, they can wield the power of the state against you when you try to break their grip on power, even as their own flagrant violations of our rights go unpunished. Because they do them with an app.

Tech lost its fear of competitin it neutralized the threat from regulators, and then put them in harness to attack new startups that might do unto them as they did unto the companies that came before them.

But even so, there was a force that kept our bosses in check That force was us. Tech workers.

Tech workers have historically been in short supply, which gave us power, and our bosses knew it.

To get us to work crazy hours, they came up with a trick. They appealed to our love of technology, and told us that we were heroes of a digital revolution, who would “organize the world’s information and make it useful,” who would “bring the world closer together.”

They brought in expert set-dressers to turn our workplaces into whimsical campuses with free laundry, gourmet cafeterias, massages, and kombucha, and a surgeon on hand to freeze our eggs so that we could work through our fertile years.

They convinced us that we were being pampered, rather than being worked like government mules.

This trick has a name. Fobazi Ettarh, the librarian-theorist, calls it “vocational awe, and Elon Musk calls it being “extremely hardcore.”

This worked very well. Boy did we put in some long-ass hours!

But for our bosses, this trick failed badly. Because if you miss your mother’s funeral and to hit a deadline, and then your boss orders you to enshittify that product, you are gonna experience a profound moral injury, which you are absolutely gonna make your boss share.

Because what are they gonna do? Fire you? They can’t hire someone else to do your job, and you can get a job that’s even better at the shop across the street.

So workers held the line when competition, regulation and interop failed.

But eventually, supply caught up with demand. Tech laid off 260,000 of us last year, and another 100,000 in the first half of this year.

You can’t tell your bosses to go fuck themselves, because they’ll fire your ass and give your job to someone who’ll be only too happy to enshittify that product you built.

That’s why this is all happening right now. Our bosses aren’t different. They didn’t catch a mind-virus that turned them into greedy assholes who don’t care about our users’ wellbeing or the quality of our products.

As far as our bosses have always been concerned, the point of the business was to charge the most, and deliver the least, while sharing as little as possible with suppliers, workers, users and customers. They’re not running charities.

Since day one, our bosses have shown up for work and yanked as hard as they can on the big ENSHITTIFICATION lever behind their desks, only that lever didn’t move much. It was all gummed up by competition, regulation, interop and workers.

As those sources of friction melted away, the enshittification lever started moving very freely.

Which sucks, I know. But think about this for a sec: our bosses, despite being wildly imperfect vessels capable of rationalizing endless greed and cheating, nevertheless oversaw a series of actually great products and services.

Not because they used to be better people, but because they used to be subjected to discipline.

So it follows that if we want to end the enshittocene, dismantle the enshitternet, and build a new, good internet that our bosses can’t wreck, we need to make sure that these constraints are durably installed on that internet, wound around its very roots and nerves. And we have to stand guard over it so that it can’t be dismantled again.

A new, good internet is one that has the positive aspects of the old, good internet: an ethic of technological self-determination, where users of technology (and hackers, tinkerers, startups and others serving as their proxies) can reconfigure and mod the technology they use, so that it does what they need it to do, and so that it can’t be used against them.

But the new, good internet will fix the defects of the old, good internet, the part that made it hard to use for anyone who wasn’t us. And hell yeah we can do that. Tech bosses swear that it’s impossible, that you can’t have a conversation friend without sharing it with Zuck; or search the web without letting Google scrape you down to the viscera; or have a phone that works reliably without giving Apple a veto over the software you install.

They claim that it’s a nonsense to even ponder this kind of thing. It’s like making water that’s not wet. But that’s bullshit. We can have nice things. We can build for the people we love, and give them a place that’s worth of their time and attention.

To do that, we have to install constraints.

The first constraint, remember, is competition. We’re living through a epochal shift in competition policy. After 40 years with antitrust enforcement in an induced coma, a wave of antitrust vigor has swept through governments all over the world. Regulators are stepping in to ban monopolistic practices, open up walled gardens, block anticompetitive mergers, and even unwind corrupt mergers that were undertaken on false pretenses.

Normally this is the place in the speech where I’d list out all the amazing things that have happened over the past four years. The enforcement actions that blocked companies from becoming too big to care, and that scared companies away from even trying.

Like Wiz, which just noped out of the largest acquisition offer in history, turning down Google’s $23b cashout, and deciding to, you know, just be a fucking business that makes money by producing a product that people want and selling it at a competitive price.

Normally, I’d be listing out FTC rulemakings that banned noncompetes nationwid. Or the new merger guidelines the FTC and DOJ cooked up, which – among other things – establish that the agencies should be considering whether a merger will negatively impact privacy.

I had a whole section of this stuff in my notes, a real victory lap, but I deleted it all this week.

[Can anyone guess why?]

That’s right! This week, Judge Amit Mehta, ruling for the DC Circuit of these United States of America, In the docket 20-3010 a case known as United States v. Google LLC, found that “Google is a monopolist, and it has acted as one to maintain its monopoly," and ordered Google and the DOJ to propose a schedule for a remedy, like breaking the company up.

So yeah, that was pretty fucking epic.

Now, this antitrust stuff is pretty esoteric, and I won’t gatekeep you or shame you if you wanna keep a little distance on this subject. Nearly everyone is an antitrust normie, and that's OK. But if you’re a normie, you’re probably only catching little bits and pieces of the narrative, and let me tell you, the monopolists know it and they are flooding the zone.

The Wall Street Journal has published over 100 editorials condemning FTC Chair Lina Khan, saying she’s an ineffectual do-nothing, wasting public funds chasing doomed, quixotic adventures against poor, innocent businesses accomplishing nothing

[Does anyone out there know who owns the Wall Street Journal?]

That’s right, it’s Rupert Murdoch. Do you really think Rupert Murdoch pays his editorial board to write one hundred editorials about someone who’s not getting anything done?

The reality is that in the USA, in the UK, in the EU, in Australia, in Canada, in Japan, in South Korea, even in China, we are seeing more antitrust action over the past four years than over the preceding forty years.

Remember, competition law is actually pretty robust. The problem isn’t the law, It’s the enforcement priorities. Reagan put antitrust in mothballs 40 years ago, but that elegant weapon from a more civilized age is now back in the hands of people who know how to use it, and they’re swinging for the fences.

Next up: regulation.

As the seemingly inescapable power of the tech giants is revealed for the sham it always was, governments and regulators are finally gonna kill the “one weird trick” of violating the law, and saying “It doesn’t count, we did it with an app.”

Like in the EU, they’re rolling out the Digital Markets Act this year. That’s a law requiring dominant platforms to stand up APIs so that third parties can offer interoperable services.

So a co-op, a nonprofit, a hobbyist, a startup, or a local government agency wil eventuallyl be able to offer, say, a social media server that can interconnect with one of the dominant social media silos, and users who switch to that new platform will be able to continue to exchange messages with the users they follow and groups they belong to, so the switching costs will fall to damned near zero.

That’s a very cool rule, but what’s even cooler is how it’s gonna be enforced. Previous EU tech rules were “regulations” as in the GDPR – the General Data Privacy Regulation. EU regs need to be “transposed” into laws in each of the 27 EU member states, so they become national laws that get enforced by national courts.

For Big Tech, that means all previous tech regulations are enforced in Ireland, because Ireland is a tax haven, and all the tech companies fly Irish flags of convenience.

Here’s the thing: every tax haven is also a crime haven. After all, if Google can pretend it’s Irish this week, it can pretend to be Cypriot, or Maltese, or Luxembougeious next week. So Ireland has to keep these footloose criminal enterprises happy, or they’ll up sticks and go somewhere else.

This is why the GDPR is such a goddamned joke in practice. Big tech wipes its ass with the GDPR, and the only way to punish them starts with Ireland’s privacy commissioner, who barely bothers to get out of bed. This is an agency that spends most of its time watching cartoons on TV in its pajamas and eating breakfast cereal. So all of the big GDPR cases go to Ireland and they die there.

This is hardly a secret. The European Commission knows it’s going on. So with the DMA, the Commission has changed things up: The DMA is an “Act,” not a “Regulation.” Meaning it gets enforced in the EU’s federal courts, bypassing the national courts in crime-havens like Ireland.

In other words, the “we violate privacy law, but we do it with an app” gambit that worked on Ireland’s toothless privacy watchdog is now a dead letter, because EU federal judges have no reason to swallow that obvious bullshit.

Here in the US, the dam is breaking on federal consumer privacy law – at last!

Remember, our last privacy law was passed in 1988 to protect the sanctity of VHS rental history. It's been a minute.

And the thing is, there's a lot of people who are angry about stuff that has some nexus with America's piss-poor privacy landscape. Worried that Facebook turned grampy into a Qanon? That Insta made your teen anorexic? That TikTok is brainwashing millennials into quoting Osama Bin Laden? Or that cops are rolling up the identities of everyone at a Black Lives Matter protest or the Jan 6 riots by getting location data from Google? Or that Red State Attorneys General are tracking teen girls to out-of-state abortion clinics? Or that Black people are being discriminated against by online lending or hiring platforms? Or that someone is making AI deepfake porn of you?

A federal privacy law with a private right of action – which means that individuals can sue companies that violate their privacy – would go a long way to rectifying all of these problems

There's a pretty big coalition for that kind of privacy law! Which is why we have seen a procession of imperfect (but steadily improving) privacy laws working their way through Congress.

If you sign up for EFF’s mailing list at eff.org we’ll send you an email when these come up, so you can call your Congressjerk or Senator and talk to them about it. Or better yet, make an appointment to drop by their offices when they’re in their districts, and explain to them that you’re not just a registered voter from their district, you’re the kind of elite tech person who goes to Defcon, and then explain the bill to them. That stuff makes a difference.

What about self-help? How are we doing on making interoperability legal again, so hackers can just fix shit without waiting for Congress or a federal agency to act?

All the action here these day is in the state Right to Repair fight. We’re getting state R2R bills, like the one that passed this year in Oregon that bans parts pairing, where DRM is used to keep a device from using a new part until it gets an authorized technician’s unlock code.

These bills are pushed by a fantastic group of organizations called the Repair Coalition, at Repair.org, and they’ll email you when one of these laws is going through your statehouse, so you can meet with your state reps and explain to the JV squad the same thing you told your federal reps.

Repair.org’s prime mover is Ifixit, who are genuine heroes of the repair revolution, and Ifixit’s founder, Kyle Wiens, is here at the con. When you see him, you can shake his hand and tell him thanks, and that’ll be even better if you tell him that you’ve signed up to get alerts at repair.org!

Now, on to the final way that we reverse enhittification and build that new, good internet: you, the tech labor force.

For years, your bosses tricked you into thinking you were founders in waiting, temporarily embarrassed entrepreneurs who were only momentarily drawing a salary.

You certainly weren’t workers. Your power came from your intrinsic virtue, not like those lazy slobs in unions who have to get their power through that kumbaya solidarity nonsense.

It was a trick. You were scammed. The power you had came from scarcity, and so when the scarcity ended, when the industry started ringing up six-figure annual layoffs, your power went away with it.

The only durable source of power for tech workers is as workers, in a union.

Think about Amazon. Warehouse workers have to piss in bottles and have the highest rate of on-the-job maimings of any competing business. Whereas Amazon coders get to show up for work with facial piercings, green mohawks, and black t-shirts that say things their bosses don’t understand. They can piss whenever they want!

That’s not because Jeff Bezos or Andy Jassy loves you guys. It’s because they’re scared you’ll quit and they don’t know how to replace you.

Time for the second obligatory William Gibson quote: “The future is here, it’s just not evenly distributed.” You know who’s living in the future?. Those Amazon blue-collar workers. They are the bleeding edge.

Drivers whose eyeballs are monitored by AI cameras that do digital phrenology on their faces to figure out whether to dock their pay, warehouse workers whose bodies are ruined in just months.

As tech bosses beef up that reserve army of unemployed, skilled tech workers, then those tech workers – you all – will arrive at the same future as them.

Look, I know that you’ve spent your careers explaining in words so small your boss could understand them that you refuse to enshittify the company’s products, and I thank you for your service.

But if you want to go on fighting for the user, you need power that’s more durable than scarcity. You need a union. Wanna learn how? Check out the Tech Workers Coalition and Tech Solidarity, and get organized.

Enshittification didn’t arise because our bosses changed. They were always that guy.

They were always yankin’ on that enshittification lever in the C-suite.

What changed was the environment, everything that kept that switch from moving.

And that’s good news, in a bankshot way, because it means we can make good services out of imperfect people. As a wildly imperfect person myself, I find this heartening.

The new good internet is in our grasp: an internet that has the technological self-determination of the old, good internet, and the greased-skids simplicity of Web 2.0 that let all our normie friends get in on the fun.

Tech bosses want you to think that good UX and enshittification can’t ever be separated. That’s such a self-serving proposition you can spot it from orbit. We know it, 'cause we built the old good internet, and we’ve been fighting a rear-guard action to preserve it for the past two decades.

It’s time to stop playing defense. It's time to go on the offensive. To restore competition, regulation, interop and tech worker power so that we can create the new, good internet we’ll need to fight fascism, the climate emergency, and genocide.

To build a digital nervous system for a 21st century in which our children can thrive and prosper.

Community voting for SXSW is live! If you wanna hear RIDA QADRI and me talk about how GIG WORKERS can DISENSHITTIFY their jobs with INTEROPERABILITY, VOTE FOR THIS ONE!

If you'd like an essay-formatted version of this post to read or share, here's a link to it on pluralistic.net, my surveillance-free, ad-free, tracker-free blog:

https://pluralistic.net/2024/08/17/hack-the-planet/#how-about-a-nice-game-of-chess

Image: https://twitter.com/igama/status/1822347578094043435/ (cropped)

@fak3r@mastodon.social (cropped)

https://mamot.fr/@fak3r@mastodon.social/112963252835869648

CC BY 4.0 https://creativecommons.org/licenses/by/4.0/deed.pt

[baisemains]

Elements of Desire

Chapter 6: On the Mend

single mom!sevika x reader

word count: 6.3k

contains: angst-ish, tension, language, food mention, vi (iykyk), some fluff!

description: school is back in session and after learning of some good news, you and sevika must learn to chart unfamiliar waters.

ao3 link | spotify playlist

previous | next // sevika masterlist

Monday morning, your eyes spring open before your alarm can even do its job, and you waste no time getting ready. Putting more effort than usual into your look today, you try at least four different outfits before deciding on one that’s a perfect balance between eye catching and comfortable.

Loading your things into your car, you put on your feel good playlist for your drive to work, determined to have a great day. Once there, your nerves start to creep in, but you do your best to settle them and remember that there’s no stakes involved with your announcement later. Sort of.

As usual, Ekko is the first one to arrive to class and he walks right up to your desk sporting a huge grin.

“Who has two thumbs and is going to the next round of the science fair?”

Pointing to himself, you match his smile and round your desk, hugging the boy.

“So proud of you dude, you have no idea how happy I was when I read your name in the email.”

Ekko had submitted this same project the previous two years but failed to make it past the first round each time. You had suggested doing something different this year but he stuck to his gut and it paid off.

“Thanks Teach, I couldn't have done it without your support, though.”

Letting him go, you place your hand on his shoulders and shake your head.

“That’s all you kid, from the idea to the execution. I was just a sounding board.”

Smiling, you walk up to the whiteboard and start writing the topic for today’s lesson, conversing with Ekko about what he did over his break. A few minutes later, the conversation ends when students start filing in and he turns around to walk to his desk, you doing the same. Pausing when you remember something, you spin around and call out to the boy.

“Hey! Um, Powder doesn’t know that she got in yet, so if she asks you about it, just say I haven’t said anything, cool?”

“Wait, she passed too?”

Nodding, you see his eyes light up as he fights back a smile and you quirk a brow. Interesting.

“Yeah, I forgot to email her mom when I told your parents,” you lied.

“Cool. I won’t say anything then.”

Schooling his face back into a neutral expression, Ekko continues his journey to his workstation and you face the whiteboard once again. You thought he would have been annoyed at best that Powder was also accepted, his lab partner being his competition for such a prestigious prize seems like it would be a nightmare.

Starting to think about it, the two have had tension between them since they met, but you honestly thought it was because they just didn’t get along. Smiling to yourself, you think, could there be a little crush there?

A couple more kids arriving brings your attention back to what you were doing, and you quickly finish writing what you had to on the board. Eventually, most of the class is in their seats, and when you glance up from your computer, you see Powder walking up to you.

“Hi Teach,” she says, unusually shy.

Smiling at the girl, you realize that you know nothing about what her last couple weeks have been like and it tugs at your heart.

“Hi Powder, how was your break?”

Beaming, Powder starts relaying everything she did, the girl’s animated storytelling making you laugh several times. She sees how your expression slightly changes every time Sevika is mentioned, and it almost makes her frown.

“So, I brought you a little something back. Or a couple somethings, actually.”

Reaching into her bag, she pulls out three keychains and raises them in your direction. You instantly pout, not expecting the gesture at all.

“Powder, you didn’t have to get me anything.”

Taking them in your hands, you look at each one in detail, loving them instantly.

“I wanted to though, these last few months would’ve been a lot harder without you.”

Looking up, you see the vulnerable look on the girl’s face and it almost brings a tear to your eye.

“Plus they were too cute to pass up, look at the dolphin one.”

To prove her point, she flicks one of the keychains, causing it to spin in circles. Setting them all down on your desk, you walk to stand in front of her, engulfing her in an embrace.

“This was so nice of you Powder, thank you. It means more than you know.”

She returns the hug, giving you a quick squeeze. No matter what her sister said, she believed you were a good person, and conversations like this only proved that.

“You’re my favorite teacher, I had to.”

Pulling apart, you thank her again and Powder begins heading to her seat. You catch Ekko’s eye, nodding your head to remind him of what you said earlier. Once everyone else arrives and the bell rings, you get their attention and begin the day’s lesson.

Soon enough, the end of the day rolls around and Sevika will be arriving shortly for your impromptu meeting. You’ve somehow managed to not think about it since the morning but as the clock ticks by, your nerves return. Busying yourself with organizing your classroom as if it’s something she’ll care about, you flit about from corner to corner, tidying up.

You hear footsteps in the hallway and almost sprint to the front of the room, cleaning off the board in an attempt to look casual when your visitors walk in. Hearing a knock from the doorway, you slowly turn around, instantly making eye contact with the woman who’s been plaguing your thoughts.

Neither of you say anything for a moment as you observe each other, and your stomach does a little flip when you see Sevika look you up and down. All that time picking out my outfit was worth it, then. You notice that her skin is a bit darker than the last time you saw her, and you mentally thank the beach Powder was telling you about this morning. She’s wearing a boxy work jacket you’ve never seen before over her signature plain white tee and dark jeans and though it’s simple, it brings a tingle to the back of your neck. She looks good.

“Hey Teach.”

Powder is absolutely beaming when you look over at her, recognizing her presence as well. Knowing you’ve been caught, you clear your throat and straighten up your posture, welcoming them in.

“Hi Powder. Sevika. Please, come sit down.”

The two of them move into the room and you allow yourself to stare at Sevika’s profile while you can, taking in every detail. It gives you deja vu, but there couldn’t be a bigger difference in your situation from then to now. Once they take their seats, you walk over to them, leaving a healthy distance between you.

“So, I received an email from the science fair committee last night regarding their decision. And I know I said that I would let you know as soon as I heard anything, but this felt important enough that I had to give you the results in person.”

A sharp inhale catches your attention and your gaze shifts to Powder, looking like she’s about to faint.

“Oh jeez.”

Sevika glances from Powder to you, an expectant look on her face. She didn’t show it, but she was actually nervous, and your tone wasn’t helping.

“What did they say?”

Taking a deep breath, a smile spreads onto your face as you tell them the news.

“Congratulations Powder, you made it to the next round.”

Jumping up, the girl immediately runs over to you, shoving her face into your chest as she wraps her arms around you, eyes welling with tears.

“Really?!”

At the same time, Sevika leans back in her chair as she brings both hands to her face, letting out the breath she was holding. Once you and Powder separate, she stands up, speed walks over to the two of you, and picks her daughter up, spinning her around.

Before you can blink, Sevika puts her down and embraces you next, catching you off guard. Immediately melting into her, you hug her back, feeling the muscles rippling underneath your fingertips while her cologne fills your nose. You vaguely hear a sigh, and you’re unsure of who it comes from.

Once Sevika realizes what she’s done, she straightens up and lets her arms fall away. Clearing her throat as she takes a step back and runs a hand through her hair, the tension hangs between you.

“Um, wow, this is amazing news.”

Nodding, you take a breath to try and clear your head of the Sevika induced brain fog. Itching to reach back out for her, you settle your hands on your hips in an attempt to keep them occupied.

“Absolutely, it’s well deserved too, her presentation was amazing.”

You then begin discussing what will likely come next, hearing from other teacher friends of yours who have been through the process before. The entire time, Powder’s eyes are bouncing back and forth between the two of you, a smirk plastered on her face. She knew Sevika still had a thing for you, and you clearly returned the feeling.

“And I’ll email all of this to you too, it’s best to have it in writing.”

Looking at Sevika, you try your best to keep a neutral expression as you talk, but a smile is fighting its way out the entire time.

“Like before, Powder will have to start staying after school again to work on this, and even though she’s up against less kids than before, attention to detail is going to be incredibly important and what’ll make her stand out from the rest.”

Nodding along, Sevika is absorbing everything you’re saying and reality starts settling in. The two of you will be back in constant communication, and as much as she thought she’d be upset about it, she actually feels a bit…happy. Yes, she had sprouted a little crush on you, but more importantly, you had begun a friendship, and she missed that more than anything. She decides that that’s a problem for later, and by the time you wrap up the meeting, her discomfort has subsided and she actually smiles.

You end your spiel with a nod and a smile, confident that Powder has what it takes to get to the next level.

“Take tonight, celebrate, and tomorrow, we’ll talk about when to start up again.”

“Sounds good.”

Sevika moves to give you a handshake, debating if she should say what else is on her mind. Not seeing any reason not to, she continues.

“And thank you for everything you’ve done for Powder, it means more than you know.”

Shaking your head, you tell her it’s not a big deal and Powder gives you another quick hug, waving as the two of them begin making their way toward the exit. Sevika then turns around, giving you a quick smile before she disappears through the doorway. You can tell it’s genuine, and a feeling of joy bubbles up in your chest.

Arriving home, Powder sprints out of the car to tell her sisters the news, leaving Sevika alone to take a breather. It was so nice seeing you in person again, even if she wouldn’t admit it to anyone.

She missed the way you brightened up a room with your positivity, always making her feel comfortable. It was so easy to talk to you, she never felt like she had to force anything, and though she had other friendships, it was different with you. Shaking her head, she gets out and walks in the house, thinking about what to cook for dinner.

By this time, Powder is already relaying what happened to the other girls, bouncing with excitement. They immediately congratulate her, Vi giving her a noogie, causing Powder to chase her around the house until Sevika walks in and Vi takes refuge behind her.

“Mom, Vi keeps messing with me!” Powder whines as Vi sticks her tongue out from behind the woman.

Taking no time to assess the situation, Sevika groans and pushes the two girls apart.

“Come on guys, we just got home.”

The two teenagers start bickering when Sevika claps her hands once, the noise silencing the room.

“Enough. We just got some great news, you guys should be happy.”

Caitlyn and Isha only look at each other, containing their laughs as the two get scolded.

“Anyways, I was thinking, you guys feel like going out to dinner tonight? We should celebrate.”

All the girls cheer at that, eating somewhere outside their home was a rare treat. Not that they had many meals that could top Sevika’s cooking, but it was always a fun experience. Looking towards Powder, Sevika asks her if she had any place in mind and her eyes light up immediately.

“Hibachi! I wanna see if I can catch more shrimp than last time.”

Of course, Sevika thinks. Leave it to her middle child to choose somewhere they play with your food and light it on fire.

“Okay then, give me a bit to shower and change and we’ll leave.”

Heading to her room, Sevika hears Powder and Isha grabbing snacks to practice for the restaurant, making sure to tell them not to fill up before dinner.

Once they arrive at the restaurant, Powder chooses the middle seat directly in front of where the chef will be, leaving everyone else to fill in around her. Sevika chooses to sit two seats down from her, putting Isha in the middle of them, and Vi and Caitlyn take their seats on the other side of Powder.

A little while later, almost all of the seats around the grill are filled and Powder can't wait for dinner to start. Her and Isha are going over strategy when she sees someone stop in their tracks behind Sevika and looks up, eyes widening.

“Teach!”

As soon as your meeting with Sevika and Powder ended, you were in a happier mood and it took you no time to pack up and grab your things.

You didn’t feel like staying home, though the weather outside was miserable, and texted your roommates if they were free to go to dinner with you. Two of them said yes, the other was at work and wouldn’t be home until later so she declined. Hearting all of the responses, you drove home and thought about where to go.

Once there, your roommates were almost ready to leave, and when you saw their outfits, you decided to upgrade your look into something a bit nicer than what you had on.

When you all finished, you piled into your car and put on a relaxing playlist for the drive. The three of you started talking about your days, and eventually the conversation landed on Sevika and the meeting. You confided in them how seeing her in person made you feel, and after they exchanged glances, they asked you what you planned to do moving forward.

At that question, you paused and thought of your answer carefully.

“I’m not sure, there was a little bit of a moment when she hugged me, but that could’ve just been excitement, and because she doesn’t want it to be awkward. The next deadline is in a month, so we’re gonna be around each other until then.”

You swear you could’ve heard a record scratch at the casual confession.

“Wait, back up. She hugged you? Like a full on ‘arms wrapped around you’ kind of hug?”

Sheepishly glancing at your friends, you nodded.

“Yeah, she was happy about the news, it’s understandable.”

“Right, I’m sure she goes around doing that to all her kids’ teachers.”

Exhaling harshly, you attempted to gather your thoughts.

“Honestly, I’m trying not to think about it too much cause I don’t wanna get excited over something that isn’t concrete.”

Your roommates nodded in understanding and one spoke up next.

“Well, we’re always here for you, no matter what happens.”

You looked at her through the rearview mirror and smiled in gratitude, they really did always have your back.

When you walked into the restaurant, your two roommates continued their conversation behind you as the host led you all to your table. As you made your way over, you saw a familiar silhouette sitting towards the corner of it and your stomach sank as your fear was confirmed.

So now here you are, standing in front of the woman you were just thinking about, eyes locked with a tension so palpable you can’t tear your gaze away. Her eyes look you up and down, even more intensely than earlier, and heat begins crawling up your back before spreading throughout your body.

Remembering you still haven’t responded to Powder, you snap out of it and say hello, looking at everyone else sitting with her. When Vi catches your eye, you see the scowl etched on her face and she looks away, ignoring you.

Isha leaps out of her seat to give you a hug, arms wrapping around your waist. You return the gesture and let her go as she signs that she’s happy to see you. Meanwhile, your roommates are behind you, watching this entire interaction with curiosity.

Standing back up, you glance around the table and see that the only empty seats are next to Sevika.

Just your luck that it would be fully packed on a Monday.

“Do you mind if we take these?”

Looking back at the woman, she quickly shakes her head as she extends her hand out towards them.

“No, of course not, go ahead.”

You, being the closest to her, take the seat right next to Sevika as your roommates sidle in beside you. Your heartbeat is thrumming by now, hyper aware of your movements and how close the two of you are.

Turning away from her, you see the looks on your roommates faces, slight frowns as they glance over at Sevika. Mouthing stop it, one of them rolls her eyes as the other looks at the menu in front of her. A waitress then comes by and quickly takes your orders before leaving you alone with your thoughts again.

Now you’re stuck. You’re not sure if it’s rude to ignore Sevika, while also feeling like you’re obligated to talk to her because you’re sitting next to each other. Rubbing your temples, you hope the chef comes out soon so you can have some sort of a distraction.

Your prayers are shortly answered when she arrives a minute later, immediately throwing food on the grill, causing Powder to cheer. You watch as her and Isha are enraptured by the flames, bringing a smile to your face. Those two may usually be shy kids, but seeing their personalities surface like this warms your heart.

Hearing your name, you turn around and see your roommates engrossed in a conversation, one of them catching your eye and leaning in towards you, whispering.

“That’s the oldest daughter? The one at the end?”

You try to recall the seating order from memory, not wanting to turn around and have someone catch you looking.

“The girl with the red hair, yeah, next to her is her girlfriend.”

Seeing her glance over, she looks up and down, assessing Vi, you assume.

“Hm. Okay.”

“Stop looking, I don’t need to give her another reason not to like me.”

Looking towards the chef, you watch her for a few seconds before your attention is brought back to your roommate.

“Hey, why don’t you just tell her what really happened? Clear the air and let her know that’s not the person you are.”

At her comment, you slowly shake your head, knowing Sevika wouldn’t go for that. Why would she believe you over her own daughter?

“I think it’s too late for that. She didn’t reach out the whole two week break, that says enough.”

Looking at Sevika from the corner of your eye, you see her staring at the fire with a blank expression, seemingly lost in her own thoughts.

“Wait, didn’t you say you had copies of all the texts between Gert and the side bitch?”

Suddenly, old memories come flooding back. You had emailed yourself screenshots of Gert’s cheating when you were still deciding whether you should leave her. That was only meant for your eyes though, showing them to someone else who wasn’t involved didn’t seem right.

“I don’t know, that feels…wrong.”

Sighing, they look at you with exasperated looks on their faces before one of them speaks up.

“Look, I’m not trying to tell you what to do, but if you like this lady, you have a way to clear your name, that’s all I’m saying. Don’t keep letting your old shit get in the way of something new.”

Leaning back in her chair, she turns to watch the chef tossing shrimp to people at the table, ending the conversation. Sighing, you know she’s right, and you needed the tough love, it was just the idea of exposing how badly someone treated you that made you apprehensive.

You hear Powder’s voice next to you, turning your head and seeing her almost stand up from her chair to get the cook’s attention. Everyone cheers when she catches a piece, and you clap for her, setting your hands on the table when you brush something. Looking down, you see that Sevika also has her hand laid on the table and you freeze.

How had you not noticed it was so close to yours until now?

You were suddenly extremely aware of her, realizing the woman was sitting closer than you thought. Sevika must have noticed too, because her hand twitched and pulled away, moving to lay on her thigh instead.

Before you could react, the chef calls out and you look back toward her to see what she’s talking about. Holding a piece of shrimp on her spatula, she gestures towards Sevika, who sternly shakes her head, much to the disappointment of her daughters. Powder and Isha start jeering before she quiets them with a raise of an eyebrow, reminding them of where they’re at.

The chef then turns to you, and your eyes widen. Opening your mouth to tell her no, you hear a “Yeah, Teach!” to your left and see Powder smiling at you. Isha gives you two thumbs up and even your roommates start quietly cheering you on. With so much attention directed your way, you feel obligated to say yes so you look back towards the chef and nod.

Watching the shrimp fly through the air, you can tell you won’t catch it unless you move, so you lean back just a bit further in your seat, or so you think. It feels like everything is moving in slow motion as your feet leave the ground and your chair starts tipping back, the feeling of falling settling in your stomach. Hearing gasps from around the table, you brace yourself for impact, praying your ego will recover from what’s about to happen.

Suddenly, your chair stops moving and you fly forward, all feet planted back on the ground. Glancing around, you then see Sevika’s arm wrapped around the back of your seat and a worried look on her face. Clearing your throat, you scratch the back of your neck and tear your gaze away from her, knowing your entire table, and maybe the whole restaurant, just witnessed you almost falling on your ass. Powder and Isha look shocked, and behind them, Vi has a smirk plastered on her face, clearly enjoying your misstep. You hear your friends asking if you’re okay, and after slightly nodding, you face Sevika to give her your gratitude, fighting through your embarrassment.

“Um, thanks. That could've been really bad.”

She only nods, looking at you with an understanding gleam in her eye.

“Don’t mention it, I’ve seen my fair share of falls with those three.”

She points her head in the girls’ direction, and you know she has stories. Holding back a smile, a vision of a tired Sevika protecting her rowdy girls springs to mind, and it’s adorable.

“Yeah, I bet they keep you on your toes.”

You look over at the girls, who are talking amongst themselves, no doubt about what just happened, and let out a small chuckle. It’s not hard to imagine them as little runts, constantly running Sevika ragged. Thinking about what an amazing parent she is, your gaze returns to the woman to see her already staring at you.

Her gaze catches you off guard, and she breaks eye contact right away, turning back towards the flame. Looking down towards your hands in your lap, you smile to yourself, starting to watch the chef again before hearing her voice cut through the noise of the restaurant.

“The girls missed you.”

Whipping your head towards her, you see that Sevika isn’t looking at you but straight ahead. You weren’t expecting her to strike up a conversation at this point in the night but you take advantage of the opening.

“I…missed them too.”

A sad smile adorns her face at that, and you get the urge to kiss it away. Thankfully, she speaks before you can embarrass yourself further.

“They didn’t stop talking about you our entire trip. Did Powder give you the keychains she bought?”

Slowly nodding, she turns her head towards you and lets her eyes flicker between yours, giving you the chance to do the same.

God, she’s beautiful.

“Good. She was really excited about them.”

The two of you make small talk from there, talking about the restaurant and the weather. After a few minutes, the conversation naturally ends and you no longer feel the awkward tension from earlier. You pick up your glass to take a sip when your attention is grabbed once again.

“So…when should Powder bring her project back to school? I get off early tomorrow so I can bring it with me when I pick her up.” She clears her throat, “If that’s okay with you.”

Looking over at her, you see the apprehension on her face and let yourself smile this time.

“Yeah, that works. You know where to park.”

The two of you get pulled into other conversations but the thought of seeing each other the next day carries you through the rest of the evening.

Eventually, dinner comes to an end and it’s time to go your separate ways, all of you standing up to leave.

Powder and Isha are the first ones to say goodbye, hugging you and telling you they missed you. Hearing them echo Sevika’s words from earlier warms your heart and has you squeezing them a little tighter. Sevika follows behind them, bidding you and your roommates good night with a tight lipped smile, and you return the gesture, albeit with a genuine one. Vi brings up the rear, dragging Caitlyn past you, but not before Caitlyn can sneakily wave at you behind her girlfriend’s back.

Not until they leave and you start your own journey to the exit do you realize that you failed to introduce everyone. Thinking about it, it probably wouldn’t have gone well so you decide it was for the best. Your roommates then pipe up behind you as you all reach the car.

“The girls were so cute saying bye to you, they seem really sweet.”

You beam as if they were your own, getting in and buckling up, checking all your mirrors.

“Yeah, they’re really good kids. Sevika’s doing a great job with them.”

The two of them exchange a knowing glance but say nothing. The drive home is filled with jokes and banter, and once you arrive, you see that your third roommate is in the living room on her laptop. Skipping hellos, your other two friends immediately start telling her about how the night went, not leaving out a single detail. When they get to the part where you almost fell and Sevika caught you, her mouth is agape and she starts laughing.

“Listen, I’m not her biggest fan but that was smooth, I’ll admit.”

They then tell her about how you two started talking later on, and they ask you what the conversation was about.

“Literally just the weather and how dinner was. And that she could bring Powder’s project back to school tomorrow.”

“So…that means you guys have to talk again?”

Biting your lip, you think thankfully.

“Well yeah, it’s the same schedule as before. Except now we have less time before the next deadline.”

Your roommate only nods at that, hearing the slight nerves in your voice, and you change the subject, afraid of getting your hopes up.

An hour later, you all decide to head to bed, tired from the day. Gliding through your bedtime routine as if on autopilot, you climb under the covers and wrap them tightly around yourself. That night, you dream of grey eyes and steady hands.

The next day passes by uneventfully, and after the final bell rings, Powder walks in, holding onto her backpack straps with a smile.

“Hey, Teach.”

You turn around and wave her in, clearing off your desk. Sevika had texted you a few minutes ago that she was on her way with Powder’s project so now the two of you are waiting for her, talking about a new movie that’s coming out soon. Your phone buzzes in your pocket, and when you check the screen, you see a text simply saying “Here”.

You both walk out to the parking lot, propping open the main door as you make your way over to the truck parked nearby. Sevika’s already grabbed the two biggest boxes, hauling them with no effort and the sight never fails to make you swoon.

“The smaller two are in the backseat, you guys can grab those.”

Breezing past you, you’re able to stop yourself from looking directly at her, but the little bit you catch in your peripheral has you smiling. Snapping out of it, you remind yourself that you’re only trying to be cordial with her, nothing else.

Picking up the remaining boxes, you and Powder quickly follow Sevika inside to your classroom, setting them down in the corner. Looking around, you try to decide between asking if Powder can start working on it now or letting her go home for the day.

Sevika watches you walk in with an indiscernible look on her face, arms crossed over her chest as she waits for your direction. As the boxes are set down, she takes her phone out of her pocket, looking at something and making the decision for you.

“I’ve gotta head back to the shop real quick, but I can leave Powder here if you guys want to get started.”

Shifting her gaze towards you then Powder, you tell her it’s fine and she puts her phone back into her pocket, kissing her daughter on the head as she heads towards the door. Turning around, she calls out to you.

“Be back in a bit!”

As soon as she’s out the door, Powder starts to work, taking out the supplies she needs before placing them on the table. Watching her for a moment, you decide to start some grading at your desk, turning on your computer and pulling up the stack of papers.

Time seems to blur as you’re distracted by the numbers and comments you’re putting on the tests. Glancing back up, you see that Powder is still working diligently. You’ve come to appreciate how good she is at staying focused.

A rough knock at the door breaks you out of your thoughts, your head whipping towards the sound. You call out to let the person come in, assuming it’s Sevika.

When the door opens, you’re surprised to see Vi standing in the doorway. Her eyes flick around the room, a curious expression on her face when she sees Powder working, but a scowl replacing it as her gaze lands on you.

“Sev got caught up with something else, so she sent me to pick up Powder.”

You murmur out a stern okay, watching Vi stroll over to her sister as she looks over her shoulder at the project.

“What is it?”

Powder looks up, eyeing the girl.

“If I explain, will you understand what I’m talking about?”

“No.”

“Then why would I?”

The interaction causes you to hold in a smile, careful not to let them see you. Powder is feisty when she wants to be.

After a couple minutes, Powder grabs her things and walks over to your desk, Vi a few steps behind her. She lets you know what she worked on today and you smile, telling her you’ll look it over and give her your notes tomorrow. Telling you goodbye as she walks out, Vi follows, giving you a once over but not saying anything.

A few minutes later, you’ve written down your notations for the project, sliding them into your desk. Letting out a sigh, you gather your belongings, shoving your laptop inside, deciding you’re also done for the day. You’re ready to go home, eat your leftovers, and numb your brain with as much reality television as it will let you.

That week, you and Powder get into the swing of things with no problem, back to how they were before break. The only thing that was missing was Sevika’s homemade cooking waiting for you when she picked Powder up, and you missed it more than you realized.

On the bright side, you and Sevika were back to talking on a regular basis, which you were ecstatic about, even if it was only about Powder’s schoolwork. Two weeks of no contact didn’t sound like much, but you had grown accustomed to hearing from her daily and you missed your conversations more than anything. It was hard to find real connections as an adult, and if friendship was all that was in the cards, then that was good enough for you.

The comment from your roommate about showing Sevika the texts replays in your head the next few days, and you decide to go along with her idea. More than once, you almost had a chance to bring it up to Sevika, but something always interrupted the moment. A couple times, it was a work call she had to take, but most of it was by way of Vi hanging in the background, always watching you.

She had decided to start accompanying Sevika to pick Powder up after school, surprising all of you. You learn that she doesn’t have to be back at school for another month, and with nothing else to busy herself with, she decides to become Sevika’s personal chaperone. Knowing the reason why, you can’t blame her but you still wished she’d leave the two of you alone long enough to let you rectify the situation.

Another week passes, and your frustration starts to build. Sevika is still keeping your discussions very surface level, and you feel less and less confident about explaining your side. Even Powder has started to notice that something is wrong. She’s a very perceptive kid and sees the way that your shoulders have slumped, interactions with Sevika more reserved from your side.

As she works on her project, you sit at your desk, pretending to look over some papers so you can watch the door. Today, your eyes are glued to the clock, the seconds ticking by like hours.

As if you summoned her, a familiar figure steps into the room. Sevika, dressed in her work coveralls, glances over at Powder before her eyes catch yours. Giving you a small nod, she smiles faintly but her eyes still hold that weary look you’ve grown used to.

As usual, Vi is right on her heels, walking over to lean against one of the desks, propping her hands on top and crossing one leg over the other. They both watch Powder start to pack up her things, the three of you waiting for her to finish.

“How’s she doing?”

Sevika glances over at you, expectant.

“Really good. We’ve tweaked a couple things so she’s in the process of testing the new model but I have high hopes.”

You smile softly at the woman, sincerity laced in your voice. She grins back and her gap makes an appearance, causing you to look down at her lips. Luckily, Powder starts walking over that very moment and grabs everyone’s attention, causing Sevika to speak up.

“Ready, kid?”

“Almost. There was something I wanted to show Vi in the gym.”

The teenager in question looks up from where she was texting on her phone with a puzzled look.

“What?”

Sevika’s gaze flicks between Powder and Vi, looking as if she’s about to protest. Her hand even reaches out, just a fraction, but Vi is already putting her phone away and standing up as she groans.

“Fine, make it quick though, I got things to do.”

“What, like your girlfriend?”

Powder whispers that part, but in the quiet room, it reaches everyone’s ears. Seeing the angry look on Vi’s face, she sprints out of the room and down the hallway, her sister following close behind. Sevika can only sigh, closing her eyes as she rubs her forehead.

“Those girls are going to be the death of me, I swear.”

You stifle a snicker, taking the opportunity to fully stare at Sevika. Her uniform is old, covered in stains and the occasional frayed tear. It’s slightly unbuttoned at the top, leaving her throat and the middle of her collarbones exposed. The hand on her face is smeared with oil, and you think this might be your new favorite look of hers.

She shifts to stand up, and you realize the two of you are alone for the first time in weeks. A weight settles in your chest as you register that this is the chance you’ve been waiting for.

“Hey, can we talk?”

taglist: @daughterofthemoons-stuff @vii-v @runawaybaby3 @ferxanda @sevikas-whore @vikashoneybee @sleepingwasp @savedforlaterr @lia-winther

[cupcakeinat0r]

Thinkin abt Dad bod! Miguel again…

Relationship weight gain is kinda inevitable when both parties are in absolute love with each other, and Miguel, despite being a total specimen, is no exception to this.

By now, you and Miguel have been dating for quite a bit, and you noticed Miguel getting a lil chunky. Not something you protested. At all. In fact, you were living for it. Yea, Miguel was gorgeous with those rock hard abs and that slutty waist of his that you were beginning to envy, but once his dad bod came in… dayum.

Miguel, however, did feel slightly embarrassed about it all, even though you reminded him everyday that he’s literally the most gorgeous man. Ever. It wasn’t about him, though. He was more concerned about you; that you wouldn’t see him the same way anymore, but you didn’t mind reassuring him a million times that he is all you want and ever need. Plus, it’s a dad bod, literally the best bod, like, c’mon now.

You’d watch him walk around the house with sweatpants on and no shirt, perky pecs (you could’ve sworn he had more titty than you, Jesus Christ), chest hair, pumped arms, fluffy abdomen and a tiny peek of a happy trail that could make your womanhood quiver. All that on full display for you and only you to ogle at. God, he was gorgeous. You, lying in bed, would bite your lip at the piece of work in front of you. Miguel was hunched over on his computer, which he dwarfed with his hands and build, reviewing some lab reports. Your eyes traced along his muscles, some of his stretch marks, and the one or two rolls he had on his side. How can a man look so delicious even while working?

“Whatcha looking at, mama?” He doesn’t look up.

“Oh, nothing… just the most beautiful human being I’ve ever seen.”

He finally looks up from the computer and smiles at you.

“That’s all you, mamita.”

You smile back. You still get butterflies with this man. You reach your arms out.

“C’mere, come to bed. I need my teddy bear.”

He chuckles. “ya mismo, beba, I only have one more left. I’ll be right there.”

You drop your hands in defeat. He says only one more, but you knew it would take him at least like 30 minutes to look over those things. He likes to be real thorough with them. You loved that your man had brains, but sometimes you wish he would just relax once in a while.

An idea flickered in your mind.

“Baby…”

“Yea, mama?” He mumbles, eyes concentrated on his screen.

“…how many kids would you want?”

He immediately perks up. Oh, now you’ve got his undivided attention.

“Kids?” He says, almost a little too excited, “What made you think about that?”

“Ohhh, I dunno… it’s just that you’ve got this dad look goin’ and… it’s been making think, y’know?”

“‘Dad look’?” He says with a humored smile.

“Well yea… I really like it. You’re lookin husky and thick, it’s so… sexy.”

The computer has been officially closed. Your plan is working.

“Oh yea?” His voice becomes lower, more sensual, as he climbs onto bed, his gaze becoming hungry. Miguel towers over you until he settles down on the comforter, nestled up right next to you, his thick thigh draped over both of yours. He rests his burly arm over your stomach, pulling you even closer to his warm body. Now that he lays next to you on the bed, you feel way smaller against him. You loved that.

“Mhm… it’s hard to not picture you with our future kids when you’re walking around here lookin’ like that. I’d make you such a cute daddy.” You coo, your hands brushing against his chest, playing with the hair there, occasionally caressing down to his soft mid-section. “Aw, baby… and I’d make you such a beautiful mommy,” Miguel groans into your neck, placing a kiss there, his hand goes up under his t shirt you’re wearing, caressing circles on your stomach as he imagines a bump there, “fuck, just thinking about you being pregnant makes me hot.“ His hand moves up to grab one of your breasts, giving it a light squeeze, his index finger giving your bud some attention, “and these filled with milk? coño, no puedo esperar.” He moans, his voice strained.

“So how many you want, daddy? Name a number and I’ll give em’ to you.”

Miguel just looks at you dumbfounded. He doesn’t know whether to get emotional or just pin you to the bed and fill you up with his kid to get a head start on this family. He thinks he’ll choose the latter.

“Mamita, I want however many you can give me.” he grabs you by the chin and smashes his lips against yours in a tongue-eating kiss. “Mmgonna look so pretty all swollen for me.” He then placed himself in between your legs, completely caging you in his broad shoulders and arms, his belly brushing up against your stomach. It’s not the only thing you feel, as you also feel his thick hard on when his hips start grinding against your weeping cunt.

“Mi princesita wants to make me a daddy, huh?” He says in a mocking voice. You nod, making a timid noise, aroused by his dominance. You look down to see a wet spot on his sweatpants, his precum seeping through from your little daddy talk no doubt. His mouth sucks and nips at the delicate skin on your neck, your shirt being hastily raised, your now wet panties shortly following the shirt. You’re in for it now. A victorious smirk growing on your face knowing that that last report would be saved for another day.

“Baby, What about your report?”

“It can wait.”

Spoiler alert: He rails you like a dog in heat, cream pies you multiple times, and makes sure none of it goes to waste!!! <3333 u got what u wanted!!! Yay!!!

A/n: He is very gorjus to me, ur honor!!! <33333

Want more DadBod!Miguel ? Here’s my master list, bae!!!

[ichorai]

chiropterology — silver kitties.

drabble synopsis ; all in the name of science. warnings ; slightly sexually suggestive, batmom has questionable morals when it comes to her experiments LMAO

series masterlist.

Aside from the diamond ring on your finger, you tended not to wear jewelry very often—dangly bits of metal were probably never a good idea to have on in your lab. It’s part of the reason why you frequently warned the kids to leave their weapons outside. 

However, since Bruce was now (hesitantly) allowing you to accompany him to next week’s charity gala after a rather compelling presentation you put together, you figured you would go shopping for something fancy and bejeweled to put around your neck for the event. That’s it—no ulterior motives. None at all. 

Save for your latest little gizmo you were planning to install into the necklace—once someone made direct eye contact with the pendant, a pulse signal would be sent back to your lab computer and you would later be able to replicate a frame of their thoughts into a printed image. It was a pretty cool concept that you thought up once Dick had dramatically sighed, “Eyes are the window to the soul!” to Jason, who had promptly told him to shut up. 

And Bruce would never know! You just had to make sure he didn’t stare too intently at your décolletage. Besides… it’s not like it would harm anyone—just maybe, sort of, kind of a slight breach of privacy, but it was something you were solemnly willing to sacrifice in the name of science. It was, however, untested, so the possibility of it completely frying someone’s synapses admittedly was not beyond the realm of possibility. Best not to think about it.

The problem was now picking out a necklace that had a pendant large enough to fit your device whilst simultaneously being fashionable enough for a gala. Damn. You should’ve brought Steph along to help pick something for you. Though, knowing her, she’d likely just pick the most purple gemstone they had and tell you to go with that one.

You browsed through the glass displays, wondering why there weren’t any workers behind the counters hovering over you, eager to make a sale. Maybe they were all on lunch break and you’d just have to come back in an hour or so…

Before you could turn around, and walk out, the bell above the door jingled with a newcomer’s arrival.

“Mrs. Wayne,” purred a voice, silky and ever so familiar. You felt a smile grace the corner of your mouth as you turned to face her.

“Kitty,” you replied with a coltish tone. It didn’t take you long to realize that she was likely the reason behind the strange lack of employees in a jewelry store. “Nice to see you back in your natural habitat.” 

Catwoman flexed her spindly hands, covered with clawed leather gloves. “Typically I would pull out my gun to scare off any customers during a robbery. But I won’t have to worry about you screaming, will I?” She circled you twice, like a shark would its kill, before sauntering behind the counters. She began to pick the tiny locks of the glass display cases. 

“Depends on the situation,” you replied, watching her work with a curious smile. She was just as pretty as the last time you saw her. 

She glanced over her shoulder to shoot you a flirtatious look. “You’re a married woman, you know. Shouldn’t be talking to me that way, given our… history.”

“Oh, please. Bruce and I were broken up back then. Just because you came to me for help and we ended up sleeping together once a long time ago does not make it history.” Your hands lifted to put air quotes around the last word. “And besides, it’s not like Bruce hasn’t had his fun with you, either.”

Selina hummed. It had only been a handful of seconds, but she already managed to get the lock loose, carefully shifting the glass panel beneath her palms until it gave way. Her movements were precise and calculated—it was clear she’d done this many times before. She began to pick the silver threads off the displays like fruits from a tree. “I dunno, baby. It was quite a night we had. But don’t worry… I’m not looking to get in between the most famous couple in Gotham. I am curious, though… did you tell Bruce about all the ways I made you—”

“Okay!” you squeaked, cheeks aflush with heat. Selina always managed to get you flustered beyond relief. “Where have you been?” you asked after a brief pause, deciding to steer the topic of conversation elsewhere. “Ever since the Riddler flooded the city, I’ve hardly seen you.”

Selina lifted a clawed finger to rest upon her lips. “I’m a bit preoccupied robbing this store for idle chit-chat. Here, hold this.”

She pushed an armful of chains and gems into your hands over the counter. With a sigh, you did as she said and began to rifle through the jewelry

“Paws off,” Selina snapped, returning to you with a bag she found somewhere in the back inventory to stuff all the remaining necklaces. They made a light, clinking sound as they tumbled into each other within the bag. “Those are mine.”

“Come on, Kitty,” you told her. “One necklace, and I won’t tell Bruce you were robbing this store.”

“Try again,” she said, unimpressed. “Bruce isn’t nearly as fast as me.”

You narrowed your eyes at her. “Okay. I’ll tell Orphan and Red Robin you were robbing this store.”

This made her pause in thought. “Fair play. Your children are terrifying little creatures.” She pointed to the bounty you were clutching. “One. Just one.” 

“Greedy, greedy,” you muttered under your breath with a little grin. Though, when she trailed a suggestive hand over your shoulder while passing by you to get to the front of the store and collect whatever was left there, you quickly said, “I mean—yes, ma’am.”

Finally, after many minutes of indecisive staring at thirty different pendants, you eenie-meenie-minie-moed between the glittering options and snagged whichever one your finger landed on. You could work with what you got when you returned to your lab.

When she made her way back to you, she scrutinized the one you set aside for yourself with keen eyes. It was an elegant silver chain with a crescent-shaped pendant that shone a pearlescent hue. “Good choice. The bigger, the better, right?” 

“It’s for this experiment I’m—” You abruptly halted your words with a wince, shooting her a lame smile. Better not to give Selina any blackmailing leverage over you. The kids already had enough of that for you to worry about. “I mean—it’s for one of my daughters.”

“Right,” she said, clearly not believing you, but not bothering to press any further. She was quite familiar with your many inventions and doohickeys, and was, frankly, not interested in listening to you ramble about physics for the next ten minutes. She swept the rest of the jewelry away from you and into the tinkering bag. “Pleasure doing business with you.”

With that, she tipped one of the perked ears on her mask like one would with a hat, leaned forward to kiss you on the cheek, and dashed away, completely silent despite all the leather she was wearing, leaving behind only a trace of her patchouli perfume. You blinked at the spot she was just standing in owlishly. Then, you glanced upward to look for security cameras. Two in the front of the store, and three behind the counters—all with cut wires. Of course, Selina wouldn’t let anything jeopardize her piracy. 

You shook your head with a downturned smile, and pulled out your wallet to write out an anonymous check. After a quick calculation off the top of your head, you surmised that a clean two million dollars would be more than enough to reimburse all the empty display cases. You just hoped that the employees who were meant to be on shift wouldn’t get fired over this.

By the time you returned to the manor, still rather dazed from the interaction, the sun was just beginning to set. You slunk down into the batcave, making a bee-line for your lab. Bruce, who was just about to leave for an evening patrol, paused mid-conversation with Damian to look at you hurrying off. Initially, he thought that you had blood on your face, feeling his heart jump at the thought of you hurt. Upon further scrutiny, he saw that it was not blood but… a lipstick mark on your cheek? Who would—

Of course. Selina. Who else would be bold enough to do such a thing? His eyes squinted into suspicious slits. He might’ve let her slide with stealing a few necklaces here and there, but he drew the line at stealing kisses from his wife!

“Change of plans, Robin,” he said, voice suddenly an octave deeper, instantly switching into Batman mode. “There’s a dangerous thief roaming the streets of Gotham. She often targets jewelry stores and empty mansions. Your mother has already fallen victim. The aim of this patrol is to find her and put a stop to it.”

Damian’s brows drew together, insulted on your behalf. Without feeling the need to ask further questions, he immediately said, “Understood, Father. Mother shall be avenged.”

[pearlfeline]

the world's best tour guide

peter parker x fem!reader/stark!reader

word count: 2.6k

tw: none

a/n: made this longer to make up for the last one but then i went so far i didn't know how to end it lol hope its still readable because i don't think so :') enjoy ALSO HOCO PETER CALLBACK BC I MISS WATCHING THAT MOVIE FOR THE FIRST TIME IN MIDDLE SCHOOL OH GOOOOOOOOD

“There needs to be somebody else with me!” Your father exclaimed.

“Oh, well maybe you should’ve thought of that before making this fraudulent internship?”

“It’s… real. It’s real to me.” Your father gazes at you longingly.

“Soooo people are supposed to believe I have to work my way up through this internship despite the fact that we share a last name and address?” You look up from your laptop for the first time during this conversation.

“There’s celebrities out there that don’t give their children even a penny, you’re lucky.” Tony shrugs, popping a grape in his mouth.

"Plus, it makes perfect sense! You're a little builder like me aren't you?" He says in between chews.

“Those are mine,” You snag the bowl back to your side of the kitchen island. “and I’m adopted!” You shove two grapes in your mouth to one-up him. “Do you know how effed up you would be to cut off my only source of income when I’m adopted?!” You were muffled by the grapes in your mouth.

“Don’t curse.”

“I said eff I didn’t say fuck.”

“DON’T CURSE.” Tony warned.

“Ugh, where’s mom? I wanna complain about you.” You groaned, taking yourself and your laptop upstairs.

“Leaving at 11:30!” Tony shouted through the stairs.

You waved him off, rushing to your room. You continued working on your computational model simulated lab that Bruce designed for you to play around with.

“Bam.” You say to yourself as you let the 3D models crash into eachother.

“Knock knock.” Your mom says quietly.

“Mom, don't say knock knock. Just knock on the door.”

“Honey, let’s get off the computer for a second.”

Pepper closes your laptop gently. “Just go with your father hon. He’s just using this as an excuse. He wants you to work with him more he loves you.” She crouches down at your eye level, taking your hand.

“Everybody knows how smart you are, they want to work with you. Okay? Okay. Great, get dressed.”

“It's not that I don't want to go, it's the fact that I'm probably not allowed to touch anything fun or follow dad anywhere cool. Also your pep talks are getting shorter and shorter.” You huffed.

“I’m hungry. I want lunch. Maybe your dad should’ve waited for me to make my toast before asking me to come up here.” Pepper takes one last look before leaving the room. “Be ready in 5 minutes.”

You begrudgingly come downstairs.

“You look great honey.” Tony clasps his hands together.

“I didn’t even change.” You said flatly.

“…Okay. In the car.”

Pepper gives you a look with many meanings behind it. If you had to guess, her expression meant “Be nice”, “He’s trying his best”, and “Shut up don’t complain”.

You give your mom a half-hearted thumbs up before leaving.

After a little while of driving, Happy comes to an abrupt stop.

“Dude what the-” Your phone dropped to the bottom of Happy’s seat in the process.

“Here’s the kid.” Tony says, trying to hide his smile. It was evident even from the backseat.

A boy with a linty hoodie and a beaten down bag waved to the car, a matching grin plastered on his face after he realized who was inside.

“Mr. Stark!” He exclaimed.

Your dad gets out of the car, exchanging words with the boy.

Tony opens his door. “Yeah go sit back there. Now, I trust you know not to bother my daughter.”

As if on cue, Peter opens the door to see you with intimidation in his eyes.

“Hi.”

“H-Hi.” Peter sits in his seat stiffly. He extends a hand and reels it back realizing what your dad had just said.

“He’s just kidding.” You shake your head, chuckling. “…I’m allowed to greet people.”

Peter swallows a lump in his throat. “Right. Of course. I’m just not sure if I can greet people.” He wipes his sweaty hand on his sleeve before extending it out again.

“Peter.” He looks up with a shy smile.

“Y/N.” You nod, shaking his hand.

“I saw you on youtube. The robot you built? The one that could project a hologram five times its size? So cool.” He gushes.

You smile shyly, having to look away from embarrassment.

“I’ve seen you on youtube too.” You grin subtly.

"...Oh god. I was only ten, my solar system was supposed to orbit around slowly. I used paperweights instead of styrofoam balls and the battery I used was high powered, they weren't supposed to fly out like that. I even paid for the school's camera with my Christmas money-"

"Uh- no.. I meant like the spider thing?"

Dumbfounded, Peter looks over to Tony through the rear view mirror. Tony meets his eyes and gives him a wink.

"Oh... I didn't know you knew about that." Peter sinks into his seat.

"Don't be embarrassed. I think it's cool." You smiled.

Peter unconsciously smiles back at you. "Thanks.. I…try." Peter cringes at his attempt to reply to you normally.

You lessen the distance between you and him and look at him fascinated.

"How do you swing around? Lab-made fibers? It looks.. almost organic."

Peter tries not to flinch and holds his breath. He should've brought his breath mints. What if his breath stinks? He ate a string cheese before he left the apartment.

"I-I uh- I make them myself. It's web fluid. When it flys out of my web shooters, it solidifies into that flexible, strong stuff." He pulls up his sleeve to show you.

"Woah, how many cartridges do you need?" You run your fingers along the band around his wrist, staring curiously.

"They last a while, but I switch them out like every few weeks-"

"We're here." Happy yawns, taking the opportunity to stretch his arms.

"Thanks Hogan." You pat his shoulder from the backseat and get out of the car.

Peter blinked and all of the sudden, everyone filed out of the car. He frantically steps out, his eyes having a hard time adjusting to the sun.

"Here." You push him three inches to the side, bringing a shadow to shield the sun from his eyes. A really big shadow.

Peter can't help but let his mouth hang open.

"Just as flashy as I remember it dad." You said before stealing his sunglasses from his face and running to the doors.

"Hey, GENTLE! They're Dita! VINTAGE!" He shouts.

You giggled as you tried to frantically slide your keycard into the scanner that unlocked the doors.

"I'm gonna tell the receptionist they're a gift!" You yelled back before rushing inside.

This makes your dad quicken his pace, rummaging his pocket for his keycard.

Peter had never seen Tony like this before. There was someone who was alive, very real, and actually had authority over him. His child. Peter slowly catches up to Tony who's waving his credit card around the sensor.

"Sir.. I don't think that's the right card." He mumbled.

Tony looked down at his gold card, his brain short-circuiting for a moment.

After composing himself and taking out the correct card, Tony almost flung the door open, his eyes locked to you leaning over the front desk.

"Y/N!"

You turned around, the sunglasses nowhere to be found.

"Yeah?" You tilted your head innocently.

The receptionist takes this opportunity to go back to her typing after you finally stopped talking her ear off. She wasn't wearing them either.

Peter stood awkwardly behind Tony. He stared at the high ceiling and the enormous fish tank that stretched across the wall with fish he had a hard time telling if they were real.

"Gotcha." You reveal the sunglasses behind your back, handing them back to your father.

"Not my style.. Also probably not her's either. Right, Erin?"

The receptionist only shoots you a glance, her fingers never stop clacking on the keyboard.

"Kid, this way." Tony sighed, gesturing Peter and following you to an elevator.

Peter shyly makes his way to the corner of the elevator and staring at the array of buttons. He's never been in a building with over five floors, let alone a hundred.

"So... What are we doing exactly?" You asked your father.

"I thought I'd give the kid a tour." Tony says while he scrolls through his phone.

Peter fiddles with his hoodie's strings, unable to make eye contact as he's being mentioned.

"Oh." Tony stops.

"What?" You asked warily.

"I need to approve something. Something either dumb and obvious or an array of important decisions." Tony looks through his missed calls and rings a number.

"Tour my ass." You mumbled.

If superheroes do anything, they double book. Constantly.

The elevator dings and you and Peter file out. You turn around and Tony doesn't step off.

"You've been promoted to tour guide. Okay bye." Tony closes the elevator doors and you watch him descend to a lower floor.

"I went from being a child of nepotism to a tour guide? I don't consider that a promotion."

Peter was visibly dumbfounded. He was intimidated by Tony by some degree yes, but he already knew him. He's never been to the tower, and now he's alone with his child that could make or break his reputation here.

"...Dude?" You wave your hand over his face. From your perspective, ever since your dad went downstairs, Peter had been blankly staring at the floor.

"Hm?" Peter's eyes didn't leave the floor.

"Wanna meet Dr. Banner?" You smiled. It reminded Peter of a cat that knew it was doing the wrong thing.

Something about your expression told Peter you wanted to bother Bruce more than you wanted to introduce Peter to him.

After a string of trailing after you in hallways that looked like they were from the future, you slid open the keypad, and rapidly drew a complex pattern into it.

"Hey Dr. B."

"Woah." Peter's eyes wander throughout Bruce's lab. Holograms fill a lot of empty space.

"Hey mini Stark, hand me that slide rack will you?"

You were all smiles. Peter could see you were finally in your element.

"What are you doing now?" You peer over Bruce's shoulder.

"Not too close, unless you wanna put on a coat and some goggles." He says, eyes locked on the microscope.

You immediately run back to the doors, a nervous Peter Parker blocking the coat hanger.

"C'mon Peter." You enthusiastically put on a lab coat and fasten the glasses over your face. Without hesitation, you put another pair on Peter's face and throw him a coat.

You grab him by the sleeve just as he put on the coat and run back to Bruce.

"Dr. Banner, this is Peter." You smiled.

Bruce looks up from his microscope and gives a small wave.

"From what I've seen, I think he might be one of us." You chuckled.

"...And maybe one of you guys." You give Peter a teasing smile.

Peter let out a small and odd noise before clearing his throat.

"Dr. Banner, I'm a huge fan." Peter gushes.

"Hey, show him your webs." You pull his sleeve back.

Bruce’s eyes studied the webshooters.

"He's the spider guy." You say proudly.

Peter tries not to shake uncontrollably from a mix of embarrassment and excitement.

"Oh.. You made these?" Bruce blinks curiously.

Peter nods and tries to conceal his growing smile.

“He’s one of you guys. I told you.” You wink at Peter, only for him to see.

“That’s… how? How did you make these?” Bruce chuckled in disbelief.

“Can I borrow your whiteboard?” Peter asks.

After writing down the entire formula for the polymer he used for his webs, Peter finally slouches over. His work takes up a majority of the board.

Bruce stares in awe of Peter’s creation.

“Basically this is it.” Peter scratches the back of his neck.

“Visit any time kid.” Bruce chuckled, speechless. He gives Peter a pat on the shoulder.

“How about a snack?” You asked Peter.

“If you’re gonna pass this little audition with my dad, you should probably know where the kitchen is.” You sighed, pulling the goggles off your face.

“Are you sure you’re not just hungry?” Peter asks.

“Oh, I finally got the boy to let his guard down? Telling jokes now huh?” You laughed.

Peter shakes his head, smiling to the floor.

“I just met Bruce Banner.”

“Mhm.” You trail down a long hallway, to a shiny pair of doors that stretched from the floor to the ceiling. The kind of doors Peter would visualize any person having a hard time opening.

Behind the doors was a kitchen area bigger than the living room of his apartment. The marble top island was like his dining table.

“Take anything.” You said casually, fetching two spoons from a drawer.

Peter walks in like he’s just attended his own surprise party. When he opened the pantry he didn’t expect a wall of snacks.

“I like these.” Peter points to the bag of mini reese’s cups.

“Then bring the bag dummy.” You snorted and opened the freezer.

“How about some ice cream?”

Peter and you somehow moved all your snacks to the balcony and you started tearing away at them almost immediately.

“You brought a lot.” Peter unwraps a peanut butter cup while you sink your spoon into your coffee ice cream.

“What are you hinting at man?” You give him a glare.

“NO! God, no I meant I don’t want to eat all this food, it’s- it’s not mine I’m sorry I didn’t mean it like that.” By the end of Peter’s sentence he pops the candy in his mouth, defeated.

“I’m messing with you. Dig in. Seriously though Cap is on a new diet he found on this dumb blog. I never should’ve gave him an iPad for Christmas.” You rolled you eyes.

“It’s mostly my snacks now. Sometimes Natasha eats with me when I bother her enough.”

“Cap? Cap as in?” Peter knew the answer but needed a confirmation. There was no way he could be convinced he’s in the very building where all these heroes roam around.

“Captain America.”

“And Nat?”

“Oh, Black Widow.” You say in a sultry voice.

“That’s my lady. We watch dumb movies when I come around here.” You added.

“That’s.. wow. You see them often?” Peter takes a spoon and digs into the ice cream too.

“I guess.” You shrugged.

“Just so you know, they’re all lame like me. Not as cool as you think.” You grinned at the memories you had of them hanging around.

Peter shook his head.

“You’re not lame. You’re cool. I don’t think anyone else can mess with Tony Stark like you can.” Peter chuckled.

You look down and take another scoop of ice cream.

“…Not that he’s the only reason why you’re cool. You’re so smart and really funny.” And really pretty. But he wasn’t going to say that.

“Thanks. You’re pretty cool too.”

Peter let out a dry laugh.

“No. I’m not. You should see me at school seriously. It varies from being invisible to being a-”

“Don’t call yourself a loser or a nerd before I do a flip off this balcony.” You groaned.

“Besides, what’s a nerd if not a person in the wrong environment?” You give him a nudge.

“This is an environment where nerds thrive… And the occasional superhuman.” You added.

“Then why aren’t you getting recruited possibly, like I am?” Peter asked.

“My parents won’t ever let that happen.” You sighed, opening a bag of spicy chips.

“Maybe in the future, I’ll be one of these guys, we’ll be older, and we can convince your parents.” He said.

“You’re so innocent.” You laughed. “But yeah. If you somehow land a spot here, you have to help me get in too.”

Peter held out his pinky.

“..What are you doing?” You raised an eyebrow.

“I…pinky promise.” Peter held a stern expression. For the world’s best tour guide, he was willing to keep his word.

“Okay, swear?” You held out your pinky.

“Swear.”

[multiwreckedmess]

Kinktober Day 24

Prompt: Toys Pairing: bestfriend!Bang Chan x fem!reader   WC: 4.2k Summary: Your ex was jealous trash. Both you and Chan know it, Chan just didn’t know the extent of it. Now he has something to prove.

This is a work of fiction, it does not represent Chan or any Stray Kids member. On top of this it is an 18+ work. For my comfort and boundaries please if you are under age do not interact with this. 

Additional TW/CW below the cut.

CW/TW: Honestly, pretty vanilla. Pet names used include “babygirl” “princess” and “good girl”. There’s a lot of banter and checking in with consent! Vibrator is used. Chan has a big dick. Reader has femme sex organs.

 “I’m sorry-WHAT?” Chan practically yelped, head coming forward and eyes bulging.   “Guys are just like that Channie. As soon as I suggest a vib-”   “No stop pause, I heard you.” He laughs and rocks back into the couch. “Like you know me, I’m insecure but that's…it’s another level.”

 Your cheeks burn. He was right. The entire argument had been childish and should’ve been a red flag. “Well now I’m embarrassed…” you mutter and focus on your drink.

 How had you even gotten here? How had the topic drifted so far from how are you doing to who are you doing and how are you doing them? One vague joke about Chan’s computer habits? Tonight was one of the rare nights Chan did not have his eyes glued to his Macbook, his modern day grindstone - opting to replace the mouse with a bottle of light beer (“it's what athletes drink if they are going to have alcohol”) and the small screen with human company. Your company.

 The process of getting Chan to drop his work for one night was exhausting. He’d been your best friend for a couple years now, ever since meeting late night in the audio lab in college where he’d been similarly glued to the iMacs until the teaching aid kicked the two of you out. One last edit, one more pass, toggling the mute and unmute of the track feverishly asking “1 or 2” like you were at an eye exam. These were the building blocks of your relationship. It wasn’t until a particularly unseasonably warm night during spring break when you finally saw him step out into the world to eat and drink with the common folk. It was that night, drinking tallboys on the campus quad at 4am, that you’d solidified your friendship.

 And still, the topic of sex was never something either of you had brought up.

 There were too many other topics. Video games, anime, and of course music. Hours and hours of trading songs back and forth, studying eachother's reactions intently. watching his face light up in surprise and brow furrow into an intense scour were some of the few times you felt uninhibited joy. It was a cute habit he had, looking utterly disgusted when he was deeply into a song. Chan valued most of all your enthusiasm and positivity. Even if a song wasn’t your style, you’d highlight the aspects that you liked with vigor. Childlike exuberance, it’s what he liked most about your reactions. Sharing songs was like sharing your souls.  So how had you managed to veer into this new unbroached territory?  It wasn’t like you’d never joked about sex. Anyone could tell you though, joking and talking about sex are two very different things. In the process of all of your soul spilling, confessing deep seeded feelings of inescapable loneliness, pondering the crushing finality of the third death (when the world says your name for the last time), and of course the underrated pleasure of a bimbo bop, you’d never really talked about sex. Chan fucked. You assumed as much. You fucked so why wouldn’t he. Chan had even been there for the first moving out breakup you’d ever had to go through. It’s how you ended up as neighbors.  The rocky road started with Chan’s offhanded joke about you being easy to please. It was a frequent flier of jokes that he’d rattle off during friendly banter. Normally an eye roller but tonight you took issue.  “Tell that to my ex,” you took a swig of cider with a grimace. “...or don’t. He doesn’t need another reason to feel inadequate.”  “Inadequate? Bro was like almost 190cm!” Chan laughed.  “Yeah, 190cm and humbled by the suggestion of clitoral stimulation.” You said in a deadpan, staring straight forward. Chan nearly projected his beer straight out onto the coffee table in front of him. “What part of that was so funny? Clitoral?”  Chan sticks out his tongue. “Not funny just…is that why you two broke up?”  You swig and sigh. The details were still fresh in your memory, your last boyfriend. “No. But yes. But no. His inability to make friends with my vibrator was one of MANY issue indicating-”

 The rest of the scene played in slow motion for you, his yelp, his laugh. Your cheeks burning as he shook his head back and forth, eyebrow cocked incredulously.

 “I’m not like that.” Chin tilted down he looks up at you from under his eyebrows. “Aren’t I a guy?”  “All the guys I know are like that, competitive. The viber- it’s, it’s competition.”  “Aren’t I a guy?” He repeats again. “Aren’t I competitive?”

 In the years you’ve known him, the air has never been this tense. You’ve fought but this didn’t feel like fighting. Chan continues to stare at you, waiting for your answer. You gulp.

 “Yes, you are a guy. Yes, you are competitive. Happy? Pleased?”

 He smirks and takes another gulp of beer and swallows hard, pretty enough to be a commercial. It made you nervous. You took another sip of cider in silence.   “Sex is a team sport anyway. Gotta know your real competition.” Chan states out of nowhere with a wink.   You choke on the cider halfway down your throat. Both lungs and cheeks burning you turn to him glaring, “okay Chris. Any other tips for my sex life?”  Chan shrugs. Truthfully he never liked your ex. You’d wanted the two of them to get along so badly, you arranged activities for them that you thought they’d bond over and somehow each time it would end in an argument or as your ex would say “it’s just a conversation, babe. We’re having a dialogue. Man to man.”   Chan hated the way your ex called you babe. He’d mocked him for weeks after your break up just to see a hint of a smile from behind the clouds of anxiety. He hated how your ex would ignore you, leaving your texts unread and unanswered all night. Most of all Chan hated your excuses for him, the list long and winding.   Your patience wears thin waiting for his response and you snap, “how’s your sex life then? Prosperous I hope.”

You didn’t hope.

 He takes a measured pause, another swig, and answers, “I tried like…video call sex?” He fumbles for a term he’s forgotten and is unfamiliar with. “I just kept staring at my own dick like ‘what am I doing? This is so inefficient.’ You know?”   You can’t help but laugh, “unfortunately I do.” A very Chan thought, weighing the efficiencies of phone sex.   “See that’s why tools in the bedroom are friends. Efficiency.” Chan stumbles, visibly seesawing between curiosity and decorum. “So he really never got you off?”   “No. yeah. No.” You look anywhere else. “It’s why i prefer…efficiency.” The word efficiency slips from your lips heavily, laden with new meaning. Both of you pause and take swigs of your respective drinks.   “Bet I could,” Chan says easily, with a shrug of his shoulders.   “Sure,” you shrug back.

At first the words don’t register, what you’ve bet exactly doesn’t hit you.  “Okay, so bedroom?” He stands up, placing the empty bottle on your table. He’s so matter of fact it doesn’t hit you.   “Bedroom?” You look up at him quizzically.   “Or anywhere, if you have something specific in mind.” You tilt your head and squint your eyes further. Chan mimics you, eyes twinkling with glee. “You’ll want towels regardless.”

Oh.

OH.

He bet he could make you cum. Butterflies fill your stomach.

 “Chris, you don’t have to- listen no one has really been able to as well as me myself and my trusty vibrator Even then, no towels necessary just wham bam thank you ma’am.” Your tongue and mind are in two different places, mouth working to dissuade him and brain screaming in need.  The mischievous expression from his eyes migrates to his lips,  “is that a yes?”

 “Chan, it's a losing game. I’ve been doing this for-”

 “Where’s your spirit of competition?” he laughs and braces himself. “It’s a friendly wager. Worst thing that happens is you don’t cum and I buy you something top shelf.” Your hesitation is visibly killing him, as much as he tries to stay cool, calm, and collected. His leg jostles with anxiety. “It really sounds like a win win for you. Unless you don’t-”  “You won’t let this change our friendship right? You can do it and not let that happen?” You purse your lips and exhale, “...promise-”

 Chan launches himself at you like an over excited puppy, “yes anything, whatever you want!”

 Much like you, your bedroom is not exactly ready for this turn to the night. Chan leans on the doorway as you hastily shove the dirty clothes spilling over the edge of your hamper back under the lid. Your night stand is cluttered with skincare and two vibrators charging in the conspicuously cracked open drawer.

 “Don’t say SHIT Chan, “ you whip around, still hunched over with clothes in your fists. “I didn’t think I’d have anyone in here for a while.”   He rolls his eyes and shakes his head with a sigh, you can tell he wants to make a joke and is barely holding it in him. Instead he sits on the edge of your queen sized bed, watching you toss clothes from the top of your dresser into the basket and closet according to their relative states of wear.   “This won’t count against my time, right?” He tries to joke, you narrow your eyes. “Sheesh. Just get on the bed, okay? You won’t cum if you’re too stressed.”   “You’re not going to be able to ANYWAY Chan,” you continue to attempt to neaten your room.   “Yeah if you keep cleaning, yeah, I won't. Now get comfy on the bed please!” Chan enthusiastically smacks the mattress.   You cock your eyebrow, “make me.”   Chan sighs, it’s a simple pair of words, “make me”, and yet they burrow into him. He nods his head and approaches you putting your hips on his shoulder and hoisting you over his back, smacking your ass before setting you down on the bed.   “You done being a brat?”   You look a little dazed but you stick your tongue out at him. He sighs and goes to your bedside table, grabbing your vibrating wand left charging half out of the drawer.   “Chan. CHAN. CHRISTOPHER. That’s CHEATING.” You let him guide your legs outwards, knees pointed up.   “Wahhh, it’s been a second since you used my full christian name. ‘S’not cheating, it’s a partnership.” You wail for comic effect. He smiles a small, crooked half smile, “so, you normally get off with all your clothes on?”

 “Well, actually, yes?” You shrug, “it’s not much mess anyway so…”  “I was hoping to see your pretty cunt but we can start here,” he says, settling into the space between your thighs. Your stomach swooping again. He’d said cunt in front of you before, many times, it wasn’t a shocking word between you. Yet the addition of your…the familiar click of the vibrator interrupts the train of thought. “I’ll admit its easier when i can see the damn thing but-”  It doesn’t take much to have your hips winding. Maybe it's the familiar tool being held in an unexpected hand but the vibration feels more intense the second it sits on your mound. You barely manage to catch a burgeoning moan in your chest. Chan scoots closer on the bed, deepening the pressure on your wand.  “Can I touch you?” His voice is hoarse.  “Over. Yes.”  He nods as he leans over you, a strong hand pushing the edge of your bra down in your shirt, letting just the obviously hardened bud slip free. The rough callous of his thumb catches on the cotton threads of your shirt as he rubs over the tender bump. For you, most of the time you just used your vibrator without thinking too much about anything else. Getting off was no frills, all business. Letting him fondle you even over your clothes like horny teens elevated the entire experience.  “Howzzat feel?” He grins smugly as you bite the inside of your lower lip. Your eyes flick backwards for a second, momentarily losing the veneer of respectability you clung to so desperately. “I want you to tell me. I need you to tell me.”  You collect yourself as much as you can. “Feels real good, okay Chris? Real fucking good.”  “What’s your fastest time?” Chan starts pressing the vibrator harder against you before pulling back. It’s a subtle increase and decrease in pressure but enough to get your toes twitching.  “God-fuck-Chris- I don’t fucking- I don’t know.” Your breathing staggers. This cocky bastard is really going to make you cum that easily. Shoulder blades drawing down, back arching away from the bed, your vision swims for a second before you calm yourself by sheer force of will.  “So stubborn, babygirl!” He cackles. “You don’t wanna let me win this? It’ll feel so good if you just let yourself go. Either way you win, it’s a win-win. Just cum, it’ll feel so good. I promise.”  The spring winds again, the promise of pleasure at the other end of the snap. Your chest rises, he gives a small pinch to your taut nipple. A frankly embarrassingly needy whine hums in your nose.  “God I wanna be in you so bad right now.”  Chan’s earnest confession sends you over the edge. Your legs go numb as your eyeballs roll back in your skull, defense crashing down as the stretched spring snaps back. Wall clenching around nothing you can feel wetness bloom in your underwear. “Sssshhit,” you hiss, twitching with aftershocks as you try to catch your breath. You try to hide how your stomach tenses with every exhale.  “I was better, right?” He’s smug, you can hear it in the sing-song lilt of his voice. It’s difficult to face him fully with your post orgasm clarity beginning to hit. Peaking through one half cracked eyelid, he’s sitting back on his heels, bulge prominent in his pants. Even with your limited vision it’s hard to miss the throbbing mass.  “Different.” Your protracted answer betrays you, unable to trust yourself to keep your tone even and calm. The bed shifts below you. Chan is so close, leaning over you, a whisper away.  Mouth just to the side of yours, hovering, just within the turn of your head. “Wanna bet? I bet you’re fucking soaked right now.”  Kiss me. Touch me. Kiss now. Touch me please. Kiss, touch, fuck, kiss, kiss, kiss, kisskisskisskiss. Your brain is chanting out of your skull, body heating up from the microscopic excited vibrations you’re trying your best to hold deep in your core. “Ha,” you more bleat than laugh. Very uncool. Wheezy airy wanting air escaping from your lungs rather than the even keel chuckle of someone who totally didn’t want to their best friend to fuck their brains out.  Chan’s hand, long having dropped the vibrator, grazes your waistband. “You can tell me to stop if you want me to. But I bet you don’t want me to.” Your breath hitches as they catch and slide over the slick fabric of your underwear. His fingers are more precise than the wand and the already sensitive area is swollen. The sticky remnants of your orgasm cling as he too casually runs a finger along your slit.  You hold your breath and curl your toes.  “Do you want me to?” Chan smirks down at you.  You shake your head no.  “Is that a ‘no, keep going’ or a ‘no, please stop?’”  Deep breath in. “Keep going.”  He smiles, increasing the pressure he’s using to rub your clit with. “Good girl,” he whispers, chest practically touching yours. You can feel the corners of his mouth twitch upwards as you try to hide your gasp of delight. Laughing, he kisses your cheek. “I knew you’d have a praise kink.”  “You’re so fucking cocky.”  Chan shuffles himself off of you. “I’m confident in what I’m confident in,” he shrugs before tugging your pants down over your hips.. “Now babygirl, show me that cute cunt of yours.”  Chan is stupidly strong as he yanks your legs free. The slight rise and fall of your chests less from strain and more from anticipation. Something neither of you had really dared to entertain falling so easily into place.  “Let me see yours first,” you blurt as heat flashes through you.  Brow knitting and shaking his head in confusion, Chan shrugs, “fair enough.”  You’re going to see it. After all these years you’re going to finally see his dick. It’ll be right there, confronting you. You think about all the things you know about your best friend, the blue veins that peak up his vline, his big feet, the foreboding lump in his pants. He’s not a tall guy but that doesn’t mean much in your estimation of him. Black jeans, black underwear hugging his thighs. You take a deep breath, blinking, turning more and more into squeezing your eyes shut.  “Take off your shirt.” Your voice sounds pinched and you’re barely peeking out from between your eyelashes.  Chan isn’t one to flinch at the request, shucking his top in a flash. “I thought you wanted me to go first.”  “I do! I do. I just can’t help but think that everything is going to change after this. Like, we can’t go back from this. And I get scared.”  “I’ll still love you regardless. And if you wanna stop or nah-”  “You’re such a sentimental bastard. Take your cock out, I’m ready.”  He laughs, eyebrows rocketing towards his hairline, a bemused grin creeping slowly into the corners of his mouth. Thumbs hooked on the waistband of his underwear he pulls it down agonizingly slowly, eyes locked on your face. The way your face shifts between excitement and dread is endearing. Truthfully he wanted to prolong the anticipation just to watch you squirm for him, the butterflies invading your gut and making themselves known adorably.  The band crosses over his pubic bone to territory you’d yet seen, neatly trimmed dark hair surrounding the base of his cock.  You let out a tiny involuntary yelp.  Neatly trimmed. Thick. Without all of it being revealed you can already tell its hefty. Veins throb, crossing over the pulsing muscle. A challenge for sure. The shear weighty bounce of it as the enormity of it is revealed is daunting, enough to make any person feel virginal again.  “I’m confident in what I’m confident in,” Chan repeats, languidly fisting his cock to full mast. It’s too heavy to sit all the way up, instead jutting out from him into the open air. “Now do you want me to fuck you with your underwear on or-” pausing for you to interject before he pulls your hips up onto his thighs. A thousand butterflies burst into flames in your chest watching him kiss your knees as he removes your panties.  “Why are you being so tender with me oh my god!” Flames tickle the sides of your face as you giggle, flustered.  “‘Cuz this is going to sting a bit.”

 Oh fuck is that the understatement of the century. You can feel it from the way he rubs the blunt spongy tip of his cock along your folds. From the briefest of catches on your entrance you stiffen below him. Suddenly you’re less nervous about what he thinks of your pussy and more that he’ll not be able to fit. Lodging himself there at the precipice of heaven, he leans back over, resting himself on his forearms to keep himself from completely covering you.

 “It’ll fit, right?” You ask with a hopeful sniff.

 “Oh babe, I can make it fit, don’t worry about that. Just let me take care of it.” Chan angles his hips and lets his shaft glide over your slit. It’s a bundle of muscle you can’t resist grinding against. His forehead rests against your shoulder, his breath soaking into your shirt as he occasionally presses a chaste kiss to your neck.

 Your breasts practically ache for his touch, having felt it muted through the fabric of that same stupid shirt. With an annoyed grunt you struggle to strip it off at first, caged underneath Chan. Its not until he snakes an arm beneath you and lifts your torso that you free yourself of the barrier. Almost as impressive as his feat of strength is the dexterity with which he unclasps your bra. A pang of jealousy echos in your chest, he’s had practice. As if it should really matter to you, if anything it’s only prepared him for this moment.

 His lips are soft against your skin. Every kiss is a small promise of pleasure and harbinger of anticipation as they draw closer and closer to your hardened nipples. “Please, please, please,” you chant in barely a whisper as your back arches to meet him.

 “You want this, right?” He feigns innocence as his lips wrap around you, sucking for a second. Your hips buck upwards into Chan’s resistance, grinding harder with a groan of relief. A strand of saliva bridges the gap between your breast and his grin. His hips encourage your redoubled efforts as he goes in for another nibble, teeth just barely tickling over your sensitive area.

 Holding tight to his back you try to keep him close as you feel that same growing devouring pit of hungry need consuming your gut. “Don’t stop, please, I’m so fucking close.” It’s not so much dry humping anymore as your sex slides over him, pressure placed perfectly over your clit. “I’ll fucking kill you.” You add for good measure.

 His tongue flicks over your nub, hand finally joining to pinch and kneed the other. Chan keeps his hips as steady as he can as you grow erratic, breathlessly using him to get yourself off again. All a part of his plan.

 When you cum you sink your nails into his flesh, the muscles of his back valiant against them. The pit doesn’t go away, instead a ravenous beast wakes to fill the void. “I need it. I need you right now.” You reach down between your thighs to wedge him against your entrance again. “Chris please, please.” It’s difficult to bring yourself to say it, even now nearly blacking out with lust. “God please make it fit.”

 Grabbing a pillow to pull your hips up on, Chan starts to nudge forward into you. “You’re doing so well,” he murmurs. Slowly your walls open to him, pulling him in as the fat tip of his cock breaches the tight ring of muscle. The extra lubrication of your release helps but the stretch itself has you breathing hard into your diaphragm.

 “Chris-Chris- oh fuck- CHAN,” you scramble to hold him tighter as he pulls you apart. Your arms wrap over his shoulders, clinging to your own elbows as you squeeze.

 “You’re almost there, my good girl. Best girl.”

 “Almost?!” You yelp incredulously. “I’m so fucking full! What the fuck. What the fuck.”

 “I can stop-”

 You howl with lust filled rage. “Just shove it in oh my god Chris. Just fuck me. Please god I’m going to die.”

 Your arms bounce as he chuckles at your overdramatics “Your wish is my command, Princess.” Hands holding your hips steady his hips snap against you easily, fullying burying himself. A mighty gasp caves your abdomen, barely whispering curses as you get exactly what you’d asked for. “Hurts right?” He asks sweetly, kissing your cheek. “Let me help.”

 A telltale click.

 Whirring.

 With the white head of the vibrator placed over your clit the pain vanishes immediately. You blink furiously as the thud of your heartbeat sinks into your cunt. In all your years it hadn’t occurred to you to try this. Penetration wasn’t a necessary part of getting off so why would you? “Oh my god.”  Chan smirks.  Your hips move of their own accord, rolling just enough to push and pull him against your walls. “Oh my god it feels so good.”  “Yeah you do babygirl.” Your walls clench around him as your head is thrown back in delicious pleasure. Chan indulges in the easily accessible skin of your chest, kissing slowly between your breasts as he helps bounce you on his cock.  Orgasms roll easily into each other like a pleasant summer breeze warmly surrounding your skin and blending into the universe. It’s hard to tell where one ends and the next begins. Your bodies fit together with ease now, coated in a sheen of comingled fluids. For a moment you feel complete, your mind dulled enough to keep the buzz of thoughts finally silent, relinquishing yourself to waves of pleasure. Chan smiles, looking at your transformed face, slack jawed in open mouthed bliss.  A breath kicks your stomach in as you cum on him again, walls squeezing him desperately. “I’m going to-” he chokes on his words as he fights his own finish. “Wh-” Chan can’t even get the word out before you’re clinging to him again, rutting and fucking him into you. Weaving your fingers up through the hair on the back of his head you tug lightly. The buzz of pain jolts his hips deeply into you, painting your walls deeply with his release. A strangled raspy “shit,” passes his lips before they catch themselves on yours. His cock pulses with refractory releases, your cunt squeezing back in a sympathetic response. Neither of you want to admit you’d really fucked up the friendship.

Sorry the formatting got weird and i’m posting late but uh my other group is having a cb and i’m getting anon hate on main so here we are.

[hippiegoth97]

Random Egon Spengler Thought #1

A/N: alright, guys. I haven't posted in a while, and I've been busy working on the long Egon story. But my brain hatched this last night/today so here you go!

Content Warning 18+ Only, Minors DNI: smut, swearing, fem!reader, no use of y/n, age gap (reader is 20s, Egon is mid-thirties), established relationship, groping, grinding, fingering, unprotected sex, sexual fantasies, dirty talk, pet names (sparingly), mentions of exhibitionism

A few tags: @ghostsfungitwinkies @haroldramistwinkie @taire-the-disaster-gay @gr00vyashley (if this isn't your thing, feel free to ignore. if being tagged makes you uncomfortable, I'll delete it at your request 💜)

"I'm sorry...could you repeat that?" Egon asks, clearing his throat. He doesn't actually need you to repeat it, he knows damn well what you said. You came into his lab in the firehouse, dressed in nothing but a lingerie set and a trench coat, opened it up and asked him if he wanted to take a break to fuck your brains out. Knowing the others are out on calls busting ghosts all night, with Janine taking off less than ten minutes ago, you've taken it upon yourself to seduce him.

You've been seeing each other for a while, you used to be one of his research assistants. You kept things professional while you worked under him, and waited until you'd earned your credit hours to ask him out. He was flattered, to say the least. He's had many a young woman hit on him in his line of work, both as a Ghostbuster and a scientist. Most times he'd turn them down, or have a one-night stand if he was really desperate for affection. But sleeping with women who admired him the way they would Tom Cruise, or someone similar, usually lead to high expectations and broken dreams.

But you? You were different. Egon could tell from the jump that you liked him, though you tried your best to hide it. You cared about the work, not wanting your attraction to him to get in the way. He admired that about you, even though he would have been plenty receptive to any advances you made. You weren't like the other college kids he employed the help of. You didn't ask stupid questions, you kept up with his pace, you didn't question his methods unless it was truly necessary. You were perfect.

When it comes to attraction for Egon, brains come first and looks come second. And man, oh man, do you have a level of intelligence that gets his motor running. Before he could even begin to consider your looks, he fell in love with your mind. You had a habit of staying behind after the others had left, asking to see what other projects he was working on, or about any scientific journals he recommended. He was more than willing to show you his side projects, namely his mold, spore, and fungus collection. The journals he'd tell you about were usually ones you'd already read, which lead to lengthy conversations picking them to pieces, or speaking enthusiastically about what both of you found most fascinating.

Only after the two of you spent an entire evening discussing at length about psycho-reactive substances, did Egon start to look at your physical attributes as well as your mental ones. And what he saw was very pleasing to the eyes. Everything about you is beautiful to him. From your soft, luscious hair, to your pretty face that lights up every time you see him, to your gorgeous body which makes all others he's seen pale in comparison.

A body which now stands before him, your most intimate parts covered in delicate, luxurious red lace. A dark red that compliments your skin tone exquisitely, stitched in the form of a matching bra and panties. Garters and black fishnets lead down your gorgeous legs and into a pair of red high heels. His favorite. Egon can't quite pinpoint what it is, but there's something about railing you with your shoes still on that drives him crazy.

"You heard me the first time, Spengler," you tease, stepping further into his space. He's currently sat at his computer, as he was busy typing away his supernatural findings from the last bust he went on. You turn his rotating chair to make him fully face you and reach for the end of his tie. Egon swallows hard, utterly speechless as you pull him in closer. His face grows nearer to yours agonizingly slow, and you stop just before his lips can brush against your own. You lean over to speak into his ear.

"Don't tell me you'd rather sit at your computer all night, instead of fucking your girlfriend six ways from Sunday," you say, nipping his earlobe afterwards. Your tone sultry is and low, almost pouty. This particular voice of yours never fails to send the hairs on Egon's neck prickling upwards in excitement.

"O-Of course not!" Egon scoffs nervously as you pull back to meet his eyes again. He clears his throat at the pure lust pooling in your pupils, which nearly swallows your irises into murky depths. "I'm just a bit caught off guard," he says, which isn't a lie. It's not exactly like you to initiate sex at his place of work. Of course, there has been little opportunity to do so. The other Ghostbusters are always hanging around in some way of another, though none of them live in the firehouse full time the way Egon does. That's not to say what you're attempting right now doesn't intrigue him, quite the opposite. It's new, and risky.

"That's kinda the point," you smirk, climbing onto Egon's lap. Your smile grows as you can already feel him getting hard underneath you. "Does it excite you, Egon? To know we could get caught?" You ask, riding the line between teasing and earnestness.

"Yes," he answers simply, a small groan leaving him as you roll your hips once. His large hands raise to meet your waist, resting comfortably on your supple flesh. He gazes adoringly into your eyes, awaiting your next move.

"What would you like me to do to you first, Doctor?" You say playfully. Egon loves it when you call him that in bed. It was you who started it, but he certainly worked hard enough for the title, so he had no objections. You'd tried once to call him the shortened version, 'Doc'. but all that did was remind you both of a certain cartoon rabbit, which was more than a turn-off.

Egon scrunches his face, as if you should already know where to begin. He isn't the most assertive when it comes to intimacy. He has extensive knowledge of how to please a woman, and he's gained a decent amount of experience over the years. But no one else has been so domineering and forward with him, not like you. You know what you want, and how to say it. And try as Egon might to keep up with you, sometimes the words can't help but escape him.

"Come on, you've got an extensive vocabulary. I'm sure you can think of something to say," you prod, leaning in close again, putting your arms around his shoulders. He catches a whiff of your perfume, which only clouds his head even more. He wants you, needs you, in every way you'll give yourself to him. It's difficult to focus on just one thing.

"Kiss me," Egon finally replies.

"That's better," you nod, closing the gap between you to bring your lips to his. You feel him melt against you instantly, letting you guide him. Your hands travel up to the back of his head, tangling your fingers in his dark, styled curls. Your hips roll in a steady rhythm over Egon's lap, your rapidly soaking cunt rubbing against his stiff erection. He moans into the kiss, the sound pushing you to go further. You grind yourself down on him harder, moaning at the pressure on your clit.

"Darling, slow down," Egon says softly as he pulls away. He smiles warmly at you, cupping your cheek. "We've got all the time we need. The others will be gone until the morning," he says.

"I know," you sigh, ceasing your grinding for a moment. You give him a brief kiss before speaking again. "I'm sorry. I've just missed you all day, and I couldn't stop thinking about you," you lean in to kiss his cheek this time. "I had to beg my boss to let me off early, so I could see you," your voice grows whiny and breathless as you continue, pressing your lips to his neck. "All I could focus on was this," you nip on his throat, making his cock twitch.

You're getting riled up again, but you just can't seem to help it. All day at work, every little thing reminded you of Egon. And that led to you having endless fantasies about him, what you wanted to do to him, and him to you. You pictured his head between your legs, lapping at you until you scream his name. You imagined him grinding his cock into you helplessly for hours, until you're both soaked with sweat and growing tired, because he just can't get enough of being inside you. You replayed the look of pure ecstasy he makes when he comes, the feeling of him filling you to the brim with his sticky release countless times.

You continue kissing his neck, eating up the soft moans and whimpers he lets out at your touch. Egon isn't overly loud during sex, but he's not afraid to make any noise. Especially not when he knows how much these sounds arouse you. His hands travel up your sides, making goosebumps raise along your skin as his touch is unbearably light. He reaches behind your back, undoing the clasps of your bra. The straps go slack on your shoulders, and you slip the garment off. You pull away from suckling on Egon's throat, letting him have a good look at your bare chest.

"I'll never get over how beautiful you are," Egon says lovingly, bringing his hands back around to gently cup your breasts. "Or how fortunate I am to be with you," he squeezes your flesh in his palms.

"Egon," you moan, letting your head fall forward as he gropes you. His fingers tenderly roll your hardened nipples, dialing up your pleasure. Desire pools inside your stomach, growing deeper and warmer by the second.

"Are you enjoying yourself?" Egon asks, as if he can't see the clear evidence before him. Your eyes are blissfully closed, your mouth sitting open as you moan and whine for him. Your back is arched slightly to keep your tits within his hold, though he has no intention of going anywhere.

"Yes, you feel so good," you answer, forcing your eyes open to look at him. His expression is soft, serene. He's unbelievably happy to be here in this moment with you, a sentiment you share.

Satisfied with your answer, Egon leans forward to press his lips to your breasts. Your noises grow louder at the feeling of his hot, wet mouth searing a path along your skin. He takes one of your nipples between his lips, sucking firmly. Your hips begin to grind again out of impulse, searching for friction. He doesn't slow you down this time, becoming rather needy himself. Every move you make, every sound you let out, everything you do leaves him absolutely dizzy with lust.

The two of you continue like this for what feels like hours, with your hands tangled in Egon's hair, his face buried in your chest. Heavy breaths and simpering moans fill the otherwise silent laboratory, the temperature of the room rising every time you grind into him. A damp spot has formed on his slacks at this point, your arousal soaking through your panties and making a mess. Egon's dick throbs with ache inside his pants, and each roll of your hips makes him gradually more desperate.

"Egon, please. I want you inside me," you whine, reaching between your bodies to find his belt. Your hands fumble with it, the hardware jingling as you manage to get it open.

"So do I," Egon agrees, pulling away from your chest to catch his breath. He could damn near suffocate himself in your breasts if he isn't careful, though he wouldn't mind meeting his demise in such a way. You lift yourself up slightly to access his zipper, and he takes this opportunity to explore between your legs. His long, thin fingers make contact with your clothed pussy, earning a lilting moan from your pretty lips.

"You're making quite a mess," he comments with a grin, gliding over the soaked lace.

"Only for you, darling," you say sweetly, unzipping his pants to gain access to what's inside. You can see the outline of him in the dark fabric, long and tempting. You pull Egon's cock free from the confines of his slacks and boxers, his tip red and dripping with precum. You swipe your thumb over his slit, bringing it up to your lips to lick it clean.

"Fuck," he groans at the sight, pressing harder on your cunt in response. His eyes stay locked on yours as you stroke him in your hand, warming him up. He pulls your panties to the side, needing to fully feel you. His fingertips finally slip through your slick folds, causing your back to arch. He rubs slow, purposeful circles on your clit, devouring the pathetic noises you make from the stimulation. It's probably one of his favorite things to explore your most sensitive areas, with his hands, or his mouth, or his cock. And you let him, eager to have him touch you any way he likes. He's certainly adept at it, never failing to set your insides on fire and leave you a satisfied mess by the time he's through with you.

"Ready?" You ask him, seconds away from outright begging. He's made you wait long enough, you need him inside you now.

"Yes," Egon nods, pulling his hand away from you. You whine at the loss, though you quickly get over it as you bring his dick to your entrance. His hands return to your waist, your free hand resting on his shoulder to keep yourself steady. The two of your pant in anticipation, so very close to what you crave.

You slowly sink down onto him, accepting his thick length inside your cunt. "Oh, god," you gasp as he fills you completely. No matter how many times you've done this before, you're always surprised by how well Egon fits inside you, how his dick reaches every pleasurable spot possible.

Egon's hands tense around your hips when your walls clench to adjust to his size, his breath hitching. You're unbelievably warm and wet inside, surrounding him completely. If he wasn't sweating profusely before, he certainly is now. He starts to remove his lab coat to cool down, when you stop him.

"Keep it on. You're so sexy in it," you say while biting your lip.

"Really?" He questions curiously, raising an eyebrow. This is the first time hearing such a thing, especially from you.

"Uh-huh," you say mischievously, nodding. "I don't know what it is, exactly. It just...suits you," you observe in admiration, running your fingers over the lapels of his coat.

"I would hope so. I am a scientist," Egon comments, missing what you're truly trying to say. He's like that sometimes, taking things too literally.

"It's more than that, I think. You're at your most confident when you wear this coat. It makes you comfortable, because science is your safe place," you explain with a smile. "And confidence is very sexy."

"I see. I suppose I've never thought about it that way before," Egon chuckles, amused by your assessment.

"I know," you giggle, shaking your head at his response. You decide to move things along, carefully lifting yourself up before landing in Egon's lap. A shared moan escapes you both, conversation falling to the wayside for a moment while you set a steady pace. You bounce on Egon's cock leisurely, rolling your hips as you do so. Your lips find his, meeting in a feverish kiss. It becomes all teeth and tongues rather quickly, though neither of you mind whatsoever. All you want is to stay close, be connected to one another.

You pick up a bit of speed, moaning down Egon's throat as his tip hits our g-spot again and again. His hands drift down your back, landing on your ass. He squeezes the flesh of your cheeks in his grasp, guiding you as you ride him. This only spurs you on to go even faster, pushing you closer to the edge. You can't keep kissing him very easily with your newfound pace, breaking away and instead gazing deep into his eyes. His glasses have gone crooked, his hair becoming an unkempt mess. He looks absolutely wild, grunting and groaning beneath you.

"Have I ever told you how badly I wanted you when I first saw you?" You ask breathlessly.

"No, but it was quite obvious," Egon replies plainly, which earns a brief glare from you. "You weren't exactly subtle. You blushed every other time I looked at you, even after months of working under me," he teases, though his statement is far from untrue.

"I don't know if you realize it or not, but I was trying to talk dirty to you just now," you explain, rolling your eyes.

"I'm sorry," Egon apologizes, realizing he's missed the hint once again. "Continue," he adds, suddenly very interested in what you were planning to say.

"As I was saying, I wanted you so badly..." You trail off, dragging it out now that he's annoyed you. Egon watches you expectantly, needing to hear where this goes. "I was constantly thinking about how much I wanted you to bend me over your desk and fuck me, while wearing nothing but this coat," you say in a sultry tone, speeding up once more.

"You could have asked me to. I would have done anything you wanted," Egon admits through a groan, enamored by your filthy words. It's not as if your attraction or desire for him have ever been a real secret, especially now that you're together. But to hear it from your lips that you wanted him this entire time, it's intoxicating.

"I'm sure you would have, darling," you reply, finding his confession unbearably sweet. "Would've been hard to keep it secret, though."

"Isn't that part of the thrill?" Egon asks, a dark look in his eyes. He's very excited by the idea of sneaking around with you back then, having to tiptoe out of your dorm room in the middle of the night, or you covertly slipping out of his office. Secret dates you could have gone on, a town over so no one would recognize you together. Maybe even weekends away in some shitty hotel, spending every second entangled in one another. His head spins with the possibilities, the missed opportunities. It almost makes him sad, but mainly he's massively turned on.

"You're really into that, aren't you?" You ask, intrigued that you appear to have unlocked some secret desire in him. Perhaps a kink you can exploit to your benefit.

"Yes. Very much so," Egon nods, surprised at himself. It appears with your new initiation tactic he has become a bit more open with you. This may call for further experimentation, namely of his own sexual limits. You've made it clear that you're up for just about anything, surely you'll be able to assist him.

"It's nice to learn new things about you, Egon," you say sweetly as your pleasure builds. You're getting very close now, pushing yourself to ride him even faster. "Oh, god, fuck," you moan loudly as you ram your sweet-spot into his cock over and over. It won't be long now until you're screaming his name.

"It's nice to share them with you, darling," Egon pants, holding onto your ass more firmly to help maintain your momentum. He can tell by how roughly you're bouncing, how loud your moans are getting, that you're nearing release. "Keep going. I'm getting close, too," he says as his stomach threatens to tense.

You do as he says, giving him everything you have to make you both come. Your thighs start to burn from the effort, the flesh of them sticking to his slacks from all your sweat. You carry on regardless, clinging to Egon for dear life. His fingers dig into your skin, trying so hard to hang on despite the intense heat between you both. The room is filled with helpless moans and grunts, the wet sounds of you repeatedly piercing yourself on his dick accompanying them.

"Egon...oh god, I'm gonna come," you murmur, the waves of bliss threatening to overtake you. You lean forward to fully embrace him, keeping his chest pressed close to yours. You bury your face in his neck, still riding him with all your might, until your orgasm finally hits you. "Fuck!" You cry out, muffled against his sweat-soaked flesh. Ecstasy rolls over your entire being, lighting up all your nerve-endings. Your thighs shake erratically, your nails digging into Egon's shoulders as you ride this out. Your walls clamp around his length, pulling him into the rapture along with you.

"I- fuck, I'm going to come," Egon grunts as his own high hits him like a ton of bricks. Your cunt squeezing him so tight makes his vast mind melt inside his skull, driving him to thrust up into you, spilling sticky ropes of cum into your throbbing pussy. His stuttering hips prolong your own pleasure, and you mewl against his neck.

A few more moans and heavy breaths leave you both as you slowly come to a stop. You sit in sweating silence for a couple of minutes, letting your hearts and lungs slow down to their normal pace. You sit upright, meeting each other's eyes. Content smiles rest on your lips, an intense affection for one another blossoming within your chests. There is nothing that could possibly ruin this moment, until you hear the ECTO-1 making its way into the garage of the firehouse.

"Oh, shit," you gasp, quickly removing yourself from Egon's lap. You've left quite a mess on him, a mix of sweat and your arousal leaving a dark, very noticeable stain on the fabric. His own release is rapidly soaking into the cloth as well, leaving him unable to hide what you've just gotten up to.

"I'll go change. You put your coat back on," Egon instructs, abruptly leaving the room to change his pants. He fixes his glasses as he walks, feeling around on his head to straighten out his hair.

While Egon cleans up, you throw on the trench coat you came in with, closing it up tight just as Ray ascends the stairs, with Winston and Peter in tow. They've got a bit of slime on their shoulders, but it seems the worksheet for the night was rather light. They were supposed to be gone until morning.

"Well, well, well. Look what the cat dragged in. Didn't expect to see you here tonight, kiddo," Peter says, giving you a curious glance up and down. If he knows one thing, it's to be very suspicious of a woman wearing a trench coat and high heels.

"Oh. Yeah. I got off work early to visit Egon," you say nervously, pulling the ties of your coat tighter.

"And where is the egghead in question?" Peter probes, a knowing look on his face.

"He's just, uh, in the bathroom. I think," you reply, crossing your arms over your chest defensively.

"I see. Would that have anything to do with what I assume is your bra on the floor behind you there?" Peter grins as he asks his final question, prompting laughter from the other men as they also notice your discarded undergarment. Your eyes go wide when you realize that in trying to cover yourself so quickly, you left cold hard evidence of your shenanigans with Egon on the goddamn floor.

Egon returns to the room with fresh slacks on to find his colleagues seemingly laughing at you for some unknown reason. "What's going on here?" He asks, his brows furrowing. He certainly hopes his friends aren't picking on you, Peter in particular can be what many have referred to him as: a dickhead.

"Why don't you tell us, Spengs?" Ray comments, his laughter only growing.

"I knew you had a way with the ladies, Egie. But, man, I did not expect this from you," Peter chuckles, nudging his head behind you. Egon's eyes follow, locating your brassiere on the floor, which you have been too mortified to pick up as of yet. "You dog!" Peter claps Egon on the shoulder, before going on his way to get washed up.

"It's always the quiet ones," Winston comments, shaking his head as he laughs his way out of the room. Ray follows suit, leaving you and Egon alone.

"Are you alright?" Egon asks, walking over to you and picking your bra up from the floor. He hands it to you, and you slip it into your pocket for the time being. He looks at you with concern, wondering what he can do to make things better.

"I'm okay. A little embarrassed, I guess," you reply, picking at your hands and fighting the harsh blush that's taken your cheeks hostage.

"As am I. Perhaps our future encounters ought to take place in your apartment from now on," Egon suggests, taking your hand in his. You look up to meet his eyes, finding sincere remorse and admiration.

"Sounds good to me," you say quietly, nodding.

"That isn't to say I didn't enjoy this. But it appears using the firehouse as a sexual venue isn't exactly viable," he explains, needing you to know he doesn't regret any moment spent with you. Even if it means his fellow Ghostbusters are going to give an earful about this for weeks.

"I know," you nod again, turning to put yourself in front of him. You wrap your arms around his middle, smiling. "I love you, Egon," you say to him, as you have quite a few times before. It's still a relatively new step in your relationship, but it warms your heart every time you tell him how you feel.

"I love you too, darling. More than you could possibly know," he replies sweetly, giving you a tender kiss. "How about I take the night off, and we can start round two when we get back to your apartment?" Egon suggests once he pulls away, a devious glint in his eye.

"That sounds perfect."

[apples4wce]

right chord. ☆ myg

first of all i dedicate this oneshot to @kithtaehyung who reminded me of this wip in this ask and inspired me to finish it up so tysm ryen 💜

cross-posted to ao3 here

tags: yoongi x gender-neutral reader, fluff, set in the genius lab, i was trying to channel all the cozy energy for this fic and i hope it shows

word count: 1.1k

“Alright, now put your ring finger on this string.” Yoongi gently directs your fingers to the right places.

You strum the note a bit harsh and the sound comes out strange. Yoongi flinches, but doesn’t raise his voice. “Maybe try strumming it a bit softer.”

When you texted him saying you were on your way to his studio with some food, you didn’t expect him to ask you to stay.

But here you are, two hours later, curled up in a chair sitting next to him, with his favorite guitar in your hands, learning chords from songs he’s still working on, months after having come up with their melodies.

He takes his time when he writes music. You can tell he respects and appreciates his craft. It’s partly why you wanted to learn the guitar.

Also, you wanted an excuse to see him more.

“Yeah, sorry about that. Okay. Softer.”

It’s quite dim in the studio, the only real bright light coming from his computer, that’s currently playing the screensaver animation. The whirr of the computers serves as ambient sound as you try strumming again, with less force this time.

“You got it. Do you want to try a few more chords?”

You nod rapidly. “Yes, please. Only if you want me to stay longer, though. I’m not the fastest learner.”

“I wouldn’t have asked you if I wanted you to leave. Besides, no matter what speed you progress at, you’re still progressing. Take as much time to learn as you want.”

You can hear the rain start to patter outside while Yoongi teaches you some more chords. Your eyes dart from the neck of the guitar, making sure your fingers are on the right frets, to the body of the guitar, where your other hand waits to strum all the strings.

“You’re getting a lot quicker with your chord transitions, maybe I’ll have you do the lead guitar on my next album.”

You stare at him with wide eyes. He can almost see the big cartoon tears welling at the corners of your eyes. “I’m not ready yet!”

“I was just kidding, love. I wouldn’t put that much stress on you all of a sudden. That’s why I have my guitarist.” He chuckles, his hand rubbing slow circles on your kneecap.

You try a chord progression you heard him strum last night, so focused on getting your fingers on the right strings that you don’t notice Yoongi smiling at your effort.

It’s the little moments like these that he cherishes the most, quiet times spent together.

“Did I do it right? I think I got it right.”

He hums, gazing fondly at you. “You remember chords well.”

Your cheeks warm at the compliment. “Thanks. I try my best.”

You feel content sitting with him tonight. It’s a nice contrast to the busy lives you both lead.

Then Yoongi’s phone buzzes. He picks it up and swipes the notification away.

“Is everything alright?”

He nods. “Yeah, it’s just work. I have some songs to finish for my album and one of the guys on the production team just sent me a little melody.”

“Cool,” you grin, “are you allowed to share details about the album, or… do I have to wait for the release date like everyone else?”

“Uhh…” he scratches his head, clicking through files on his computer at an insanely rapid pace. “Well, I could show you this song. It’s almost done, there’s just a few little things I need to perfect on it.”

You sit up, intrigued, and watch as he clicks open a file. “What’s the song called?”

“It’s called AMYGDALA.”

The audio starts up, the guitar and melody smoothly melding into Yoongi’s verse. You listen attentively, eyes glued to the screen. Your head bops slightly to the beat while you process the lyrics, and when the final notes fade out and the last Save me out of here, please get me out of here echo into silence, you gasp. “Wow, that was- that was really good.”

“Yeah? You like the song?”

“It’s fantastic. It’s really… open. Deep. Vulnerable, in a sense. It’s- I really like it.”

Yoongi’s smile grows when you share your feelings on the melody and the lyrics. He appreciates all the nice things you have to say about his music, he always has.

You take his hand in yours and give it a gentle squeeze. “I’m happy that you’re happy, you know. It’s nice to see you like this. Sometimes, when you’d come home from the studio, you looked sad and angry, but you don’t look like that anymore. You look… satisfied, I guess. Like you’re free.”

“I am, in a way,” he squeezes your hand back, “I’ve said everything I needed to say. I used this persona to get all my rage out, but I don’t have that rage in me anymore. Now I can move on to another side of me.”

You both sit in silence for a moment, just enjoying each other’s presence, the feel of his warm hand holding yours tightly, the sound of the computer fan whirring quietly and its dim light as it goes back into its screensaver animation, the smell of the lit vanilla candle on the desk.

“Did you want me to show you a sample from another song on the album?”

Your eyes widen. “You would?”

“Yeah. I think you’ll like this one. I wrote it and I thought of you.”

Yoongi opens another file. “This one comes before the pre-release single on the album. It’s called SDL.”

You listen attentively to the drum beat and the smooth synth, and when he presses pause, you give him a thumbs-up with your free hand, the one he isn’t currently holding. He hasn’t let go of your hand the entire time, and you doubt he will.

“I like it, it sounds a bit more romantic than your usual style. I just know when you add the lyrics it’s going to sound even better.”

“Thanks,” he smiles, sounding a little flustered.

You love showering him with praise, because his reactions are always silly. You recall the day you announced your feelings for him and he simply started yelling.

Also, he deserves every single compliment in the world.

He clicks at the screen for a bit, distracted, still holding your hand.

“Have I told you that you look really handsome with longer hair?”You watch with amusement as he avoids the statement entirely, his eyes darting to the wall.

“‘Cause you look really handsome with longer hair,” you continue with a playful grin.

He still doesn’t reply and instead squeezes your hand again.

“Alright, alright, I’ll stop,” you chuckle, “but you know I love you, right?”

“Yeah. Me too.”

by the way i was originally planning on posting this for yoongi's bday so this is my belated bday gift for my yoongi 🎉

[bagelzest]

ok I've been writing down every code I could find and what they do for thisisnotawebsitedotcom in my notes app so here's what I've found so far:

• tjeckleburg - NEVER MENTION THAT NAME AGAIN

• bill - eye of providence wiki page, then sesame street jazzy triangle meets a square square (same result with cipher)

• bill cipher - triangle wiki page

• weirdmageddon - gravity falls gossiper newspaper

• soos - letter from soos

• pinata - bill piñata gettin beat

• mabel - stickers on everything till 'LAB NOW FULLY MABELIZED'

• dipper - note from bill telling dipper to stare at the sun for 13 hours, enter multiple times for a retina burning sim

• mason - letter from dipper

• pines - A GOOD FAMILY TREE

• stan + stanley - brass knuckles ebay search, keep entering to get wheel of shame page

• ford + stanford + sixer- ford's polydactyly diagnosis + report

• pacifica - letter from pacifica

• wendy - note from wendy

• waddles - pigplacementnetwork.org

• gideon - sweat resistant bolo ties google search

• fiddleford - cotton eye joe mv

• dippy fresh - burger king kids club r/nostalgia

• axolotl - YOU ASK ALOTL QUESTIONS

• tad strange - bread slicing

• alex hirsch - flannel google search

• blendin - TIME AGENT LOST AND PRESUMED INCOMPETENT

• robbie - text chat between robbie and Thompson, pic of them being taken by bill

• gravity falls - NEVER HEARD OF IT

• mystery shack - confusion hill

• blind eye - eye test, colour code at bottom- euclmjiannrepttgccvisignnsupervisionn I think?? EDIT wtf was I on that is obviously not what it says

• reality - IS AN ILLUSION

• the universe - HOLLOGRAM

• deer teeth - FOR YOU, KID!

• fuck - I get told to wash my mouth out with soap :(((

• book of bill - HIDE IT UNDER SHIRT DURING PLEDGE OF ALLEGIANCE

• giffany - enter multiple times, computer tries to block, SOOS, I STILL LOVE YOU, giffany appears on screen, downloading file IM NEVER LEAVING! file has all her sprites, a doc called ILL ALWAYS BE WITH YOU SOOS which is text in the shape of giffany

• euclydia - DIMENSION NOT FOUND

• portal - PORTAL.EXE HAS BEEN DELETED. I BET YOU COULD BUILD ONE

• toby determined - google search restraining order

• journal 1 - THE JOURNAL OF FUN

• journal 2 - THE JOURNAL FOR YOU

• journal 3 - THE JOURNAL FOR ME

• babba + disco girl - recording of dipper singing and listening to babba

• gun - OH YES OH YES OH YES THEY BOTH

• abuelita - best vacuum for walls and ceilings yt vid

• weird - weird al trapped in the computer

• xyler + craz - jem and the holograms theme song yt vid

• triangle - TRI HARDER

• theraprism - blue sign - IN CASE OF [the old one] DO NOT USE ELEVATORS

• yes - WHAT'S MCGUCKETS FAVOURITE SODA? (I tried putting in pitt cola and variations and nothing worked)

• no - YOUR LOSS...

• vallis cineris - creepy vid of baby bill held by static parents with voice saying why did you do it

• disney - RAT.GIF CENSORED FOR YOUR PROTECTION

• love + marry me (don't worry about how I discovered that) - pic of the love triangle book, click it and it plays an audio audiobook of it

• death - LIFE'S GOTH COUSIN

• life - LIFE: 72% COMPLETE. NOW LOADING: DEATH

• blanchin - how to blanch vegetables yt vid

• divorce - o' sadleys logo (aka the bar bill was at after "losing sixer" oh my GODDD)

• season 1 - SEASON -1: ANTIGRAVITY FALLS

• season 2 - SEASON 1

• season 3 - SEASON 2

• help me + save me + god - vid of axolotl swimming infront of a little bill statue

• ad astra per aspera - 2 journal pages starring ford and mabel, pls read them it's so good

• trigonometry - bill's attempt to have plato build the portal

• cray cray - mental health wiki page

• who are you - I COULD ASK YOU THE SAME QUESTION

• lies - bill talking about lying and nerds

• morality - fun game!

• R34LITY - henchmaniacs polaroids

• ducktective - DUCKTECTIVE STARS IN "LOVE, QUACKTUALLY" COMING TO: "OI, ITS THE COCKNEY CHANNEL INNIT?" THIS FALL

• question - ANSWER

• answer - QUESTION

I'm editing this post when I find new ones, feel free to add any you find!! please look at the replies to this post because people have found more codes!!

EDIT I'm probably done with updating this list, these are just the ones I found after goofing around on the website for 4 hours. other people have definitely made lists of all the codes found so far so make sure to check them out !!

[oh-no-its-bird]

Look all I'm saying is that if I were going to make a minecraft movie.

Well, first off I'd put down the first person to even reccomend we do it in cgi. Not just because it looks objectively terrible and half of the magic and nostalgia factor of minecraft is in its texture but holy shit budget much??? You are literally looking at a situation where the cheaper option is also objectively the better option. What the fuck are you doing

But I mean, after that.

Second off, all my writers must watch popular smps and minecraft roleplays/let's plays to understand the "magic" of the game. That's how we're studying for this, not the game books or whatever. Those guys are clearly doing smthn right, and as the executive/writer who knows very little about mineraft that I am in this hypothetical scenario, I need to do my best to make money. And that means learning what people like about the game and community.

Maybe even bring on some popular (non controversial please god) smp writers for consulting. They literally make minecraft movies as their fucking job, they are the expert u need to consult

Story wise, you NEED to choose if you wanna play this straight or silly. I'm so sick of movies trying to be all emotional and "ohh this world is so beautiful,, if u could only understand,, woaa" with their epic sound track and dramatic lighting, but then the dialogue being ripped out of a stupid marvel knockoff trying too hard to be witty

Anyways. Give me a generic "kid has a hard life and uses [thing] to escape it but then their parent trashes [thing] to teach them a "lesson"" movie.

The thing is minecraft and this kid is totally in love with letsplays and smps and has a server with their online friends (get a sponsorship from discord for that good good film sponsorship money, have them play while in call)

The mom or dad or maybe both trash the kids computer for some reason (bad grades maybe or one of those shitty "you need to talk to us more!!! That computer is killing ur brain!!! You don't love us as much as you should and it's that damn games fault!!!" But like it's actually just a kid being a normal fucking kid and having normal fucking kid hobbies things and the parents are dicks)

They delete the minecraft world rip

Them boom, kid somehow gets stuck in the game

Switch to NON CGI FILMING IN MINECRAFT. If you really need to add your stupid shitty fucking cgi then at least make it look like an ACTUAL MINECRAFT ANIMATION holy shit

It'll save us so much money too

So main plot is this kid, being trapped in minecraft, actually falling through different minecraft servers.

We can have different cameos from popular smps and youtubers, get some old youtubers and gameplay in here too. Get fucking dantdm and the diamond minecarts og series with the lab thing, it'll make the old fans lose their fucking MINDS.

The youtubers themselves don't even have to show up, just shove the kid into settings that are clear references to smps and letsplays. Have them wander through Aphmau's OG minecraft diaries sets or Sundee's lucky block series

The best part is that as backdrops, you don't even have to fully commit to "you'll only get this/find this interesting if you know these guys" bc if your writing is good enough you can still make people care by just. Introducing it correctly. Don't present it as "Aphmau's old minecraft diaries series world" go "oh wow look st this cool village,, woah I wonder who built this ,," And have them interact with NPCs organically

Meanwhile the parents go into the game after the kid to bring them back and we do this whole world hopping adventure where the parents learn that,, minecraft can be fun? Actually?

They find the kid and the kid is like "nooo I'm having too much fun the real world SUCKS!!!" but then we do that "it's cool to have fun and indulge but you still need to be present in the real world and do real people things too in order to have that fun responsibly" where somehow the kid realizes that moderation is good for u.

Maybe they almost die in game fr fr? Every world they enter has its difficulty upped a little bit till they enter *gasp* a hardcore world (oh no)

So like the kid learns that you can't just lock yourself in the room and wish the world goes away while you play minecraft for 12 hours straight, and the parents learn that minecraft is cool and fun and can be a good outlet and outlets are important for adults and children alike. And also that they totally pulled a dick move and they need to try to understand their kid instead of just demanding the kid understands them

Somewhere along the way, the kid ends up in their friends server and the friends help to pull them out of the game w the parents

We end the movie with the kid making an effort to be more present with the parents, and the parents also making an effort to interact with the kid in ways that they know the kid will enjoy and respond well to— shown a family dinner scene where the kid very eagerly eats their food while talking about school, then they all go to play minecraft together

The end <3

Oh right and if you seriously want Jack Black there so fucking bad then make him either the dad or like. School computer teacher who helps the kid use Minecraft EU to learn science (shows off that some schools use minecraft for education purposes) who also helps the kids friends pull them and the parents out of the game

Overall, lots of themes not just about how the game is cool and can let you do cool shit, but also about how the community is cool, and how it's provided so many kids and adults outlets to express themselves and have fun together

That's how you do a game movie

Anyways yeah, minecraft movie looks shit. Hire me instead next time

[raineydays411]

My fathers daughter pt 12

It all comes out sometime

"Jay?" You ask.

"Yeah its me. How the fuck did you get access to the coms?" He asks amused at your actions.

"Trust me hacking this isn't any harder than hydra files" You say passively, " Anyways that's not important, I think I can help with this Joker thing."

"Wait? Really?" He ask seriously, "Y/n, listen carefully, I need you to go into Bruce's office and find the big ass clock --"

"Yeah I already found the secret hide out" You say annoyed, "Mommy dearest kicked me out before I could tell her how I could help."

Jason sighed, knowing that his mother probably tried to use her mom voice on you. " Yeah, she told us she didn't want you to be in the whole vigilante think."

The anger that was simmering under your skin came back, but before you let it get the best of you, you continued. Knowing that this information was more important than whatever mommy issues you had.

"Right, well that's not important." You say," Listen to me now."

"I'm listening." Jason grunted, sounding like was punching someone,

"Whatever chemical agent Jackass put in his venom is the exact same stuff that was used to brainwash the Winter Soldier" You say quickly.

"Kid, I wanna believe you but how do you know that? Tim was just able to get a sample and process it."

"Because, I was told that every antidote you use only makes the effects stronger right?"

"Right" He says strained

"In order to make sure that the Winter Soldier stayed the Winter Soldier and not Bucky, Hydra had to make sure his brain produced a certain amount of hormones. And that whatever anybody used, the effects couldn't reverse. Hence chemical X."

"Chemical X?"

"The name is to long for me to attempt to pronounce, anyways, lucky for us, my daddy just so happened to create a serum that undoes Chemical X. And if I check," You pause, taking over the computer downstairs, and checking the sample Tim had sent in, " The component is there."

"Well I'll be damned"

"Exactly. Now, I need you to find a lab or something. This serum was made with the intention of being made on the fly. So everything you need should be there." You say pulling up a map of Gotham general.

"Wait, I need to tell Bruce." Jason said, " Joker said he had the only antidote and he's fighting him right now"

"No thats not possible. The only ones who know about it is my father and I." You said worridly.

Meanwhile while you were upstair lending a helping hand, downstairs Christine and Alfred were panicking because they lost control of Jason's com and the main computer.

'Alfred I can't find him" Christinen cried, " How did he just disappear like that?

"I don't know miss, there's no possible way he could've."

"Wait." Christine says looking up to the screen, " Bruce and Tim are gone"

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

"How did you get con-"

"It's not important" You say cutting Batman off, " Listen to me, Joker doesn't have the cure."

"How do you know that?" The dark knight asks skeptically

"Because, until my dad figured it out, there was no cure." You say impatiently, " This chemical wasn't intended to have a cure."

"But you figured it out?"

"YES" You shout frustrated at the constant repetition, " DO you want the step by step or do you want to save lives?"

"hm" Bruce grunted, " And you know how to make it?"

"I do." You say earnestly

There was a pause, you heard grunting and what sounded like fighting in the background.

On Bruce's side, he managed to get the Joker disarmed and tied up.

He searched him for what he claimed was the vial containing the cure. But upon finding it, the Joker decided to throw his head back connecting with Batman's face. The sudden impact caused him to drop the vial, shattering it on the linoleum floor. The liquid oozing out and burning a hole into the floor.

"Ooops" the Joker cackled, " Aww poor Batsy, I guess I may have told a little white lie"

As Bruce rose from the floor, Robin ran in holding another vial

"Batman, the antidote." He says with a stern look on his face.

The smug smile fell from the Jokers face as he looked at the preteen.

"Thats...that's not possible!" Joker cried out, " There is no cure. There was never a cure."

Batman looked Joker straight in the eye, " No Joker, it looks like you miscalculated."

And with that, a swift punch to the face knocked the Joker out. A breath of relief flowed from the Batfamily. Now they can focus on what really mattered, helping the infected.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Back in your room you paced, after explaining how to make the cure, you hadn't hear back from the family. The anxiety you had building up in you made your heart feel as of it was going to explode.

"Y/n" Jasons voice came from your computer, " It worked."

You felt like crying, " Really? Are you for real?'

"No I'm lying and everyone died" Jason said sarcastically, " Yes I'm for real."

"Thank god" You said wetly

"Oh god are you crying?" Jason said uncomfortably

"No." and with that you disconnected, allowing access back to the main computer downstairs. After doing that you sat on your be, taking a couple deep breaths to calm yourself. But the tears kept flowing. You were so worried that you didn't get the information to Bruce on time. You were worried about the people that were exposed for too long. The ones that the antidote may not have worked on.

You may have been able to help a few but how many more could you have saved if you were listened to right away. The anger simmered back in your body.

You hated that Christine treated you as if you were a child. She completely disregarded what you had to say and took a shot at your father. At least he was smart enough to know that you were capable of more than just sitting and twiddle your thumbs.

You had half a mind to go down there and give her a piece of you mind. But before you could, a chime came from your phone

"Hey Starky! guess who's on the neighborhood <3"

Wade?

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

By the time the Batman co. finally made it back to the cave they all were exhausted. Every single one of them wanted to get home and take a shower. Dick and Jason would be staying at the manor simply because they couldn't muster up the energy to make their respective journeys back home. Damian and Cass were knocked out in the back of the batmobile and even Bruce was having a hard time staying awake while driving.

Honestly, ever since his family was created, Bruce/Batman became less about vengeance and more about protecting the city that he and his family live and care about. And maybe, if there was anyway that he can help mend the relationship between your family and his, perhaps you can be a part of his team as well, as sad at it was to say your hacking skills were way above his and Tims.

Lost in thought, Bruce didn't realized that when he pulled in Christine was in borderline hysterics and Alfred looked a little more frazzled than usual.

"Oh! Bruce!", Christine cried throwing herself into the confused bat, " What happened?! Is everyone one okay?"

"Christine, darling what are you-" Bruce was puzzled, Christine always had somewhat of a flair for the dramatics but there should be no reason for her to be this worried, especially because she's able to see everything .

"I thought we lost you! All of you!" Christine cried, eyes welling up with tears," The coms cut our for what felt like hours and then the main computer crashed! Me and Alfred both were barely able to get it rebooted before you got here!"

"Wait, if the main computer crashed then how was Y/n able to talk to us through the coms?" Tim asked tiredly, only jolting awake when Jason harshly elbowed him, signaling him to shut up about your participation.

"What do you mean? Y/n has been in her room this whole time." Christine says with a look of confusion on her face.

The batfamily all looked at each other, silently daring each other to step up and tell the truth, and face the wrath of their mother. Even Bruce didn't want to rat you out, knowing where Christine stood on her thoughts of you being involved.

Now don't get the wrong idea, Christine is by definition an overprotective mother. Theres no doubt about that. But there is a reason as to why she wants you out of the hero life and spot life in general.

Firstly, you are Tony Stark's daughter. There is no getting around that. And being Tony Stark's daughter also means you're Iron Mans daughter. And that is the whole reason you are there in Gotham in the first place. Amidst all the familial drama, everybody seemed to forget that you are still being hunted by an anonymous group. But Christine hasn't. Every night she lies awake worried to death that that was the night they found you. That they would come for you.

Secondly, the villians that her husband and family deal with are...for lack of words psychoic. If they figured out that you, Iron mans daughter, was helping their enemy Batman there would be more people after you. And from what Christine has witnessed these people do, the horrors and atrocities they casually commit. That frightens her even more.

So, with that being said, the look on her families face and the circumstances that had just occurred, it wasn't hard for her to figure out the cause of their technical malfunctions. And what a coincidence that these malfunctions only happened after you were sent to your room.

"Bruce.", Christine said in a clam even tone, " What are you not telling me." She didn't ask she demanded.

"Darling." Bruce said in a pleading tone, " It was a long night for everybody, why don't we just discuss it in the morning"

"Discuss it in the morning?" Christine asked incredulously, " Discuss it in the morning?! Do you know how worried I was? How worried WE were" She gestures to herself and Alfred who looked mildly uncomfortable to be put in the argument, " We thought you were injured or worse DEAD!"

The kids tried to slowly back out, inching towards the elevator that you totally didn't know was there.

"Don't even think about it" Christine said without looking at them, " How dare you all? How dare you? I asked ALL of you for one simple thing. Just one. To keep her OUT of it."

"Christine that's hardly fair-" Bruce started to say before getting cut off.

"No! It is totally fair! There are PEOPLE after her. People who are still out there by the way! Tony and his team haven't been able to find them! They keep slipping away whenever they get close! They are out there, trying to get MY daughter, for god knows what!"

Bruce glances towards the staircase entrance but before he can say anything Christine goes on, " DO you understand how hard it has been to keep anything from this world from her!"

"Ma she grew up in this world, it's not fair to just cut her out" Jason cuts in, " She feels left out because we're all pretending like we aren't who we are and pretending as of we don't have The Tony Starks daughter in our house. She's not a civilian, she's in it."

"She is not just Tonys daughter she's mine too!" Christine shouts before tears start to drop from her eyes, " Shes MINE, she can't be taken from me."

In the batmobile, Cass buries her face into a sleeping Damians chest.

"Mom, do you think any of us would let that happen?" Dick finally speaks up, " I mean, come on have a little faith"

" I just wanted her to stay out of it, to get out for good."

" Darling, that girl was not made to stay out of things, look at whp her parents are," Bruce chuckled, " Besides, she's never going to come around if we don't fully open ourselves up to her as well."

"You have to admit Ma, fighting is the only way any of us bonded" Jason says, " Except me, she likes me."

"I don't know why " Dick says with a frown, still bitter at the fact that you had bonded with Jason before him.

Christine sniffled before saying, " I still need to go talk to her, the way she cut us off was unacceptable."

"But-" Tim finally spoke out but it was too late, Christine was already marching to the elevator, mind made up about scolding you for what she thought was a practical joke.

The rest of the team was left in the Bat cave shaking their heads at their mothers stubbornness.

Bruce's sighed and started to put things away, " There's going to be fight and I don't want to be in the middle of that."

The three awake boys nodded.

" Someone wake up Damian and Cass, they need to go to bed."

Jason and Dick pushed Tim forward, if there was one other thing they didn't want to get in the middle of, was those two and their sleep.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Back upstairs you were filled to the brim with anger. You had gone downstairs to greet the returning heroes and rub your success in Christines face, only to overhear what you had already confirmed.

Christine had been purposefully keeping things from you. Not only about Bruce being Batman ( Which you already knew), but about your situation.

See, when you had first moved to Gotham, you knew that there would be almost little to no contact with your family. The few times you were able to talk to someone from back home it wasn't even your parents. Something about phone lines being traceable and unreliable.

The only line of communication was given to you by Natasha before you left, a single flip burner phone that was only to be used for emergencies.

But Christine apparently was getting updates directly from your father. Updates you were sure were meant to be given to you. So not only had she had a hand in the intentional isolation of you from her family, she was trying to isolate you from yours as well.

It made you so angry! You already have sacrificed so much just to be here and you didn't even want to be there in the first place. You ripped open your laptop and went to do a little digging. Upon doing that, you found about a dozen of lengthy emails from your father describing in great lengths about your situation and details about life back home. These emails were obviously meant to be read by you and they all were marked as read and filed away. How they got to the Batcomputer was unknown to you but as you scanned each word tears welled up into your eyes, you father had not forgot about you.

You sat on the bed, taking deep breaths trying to calm down. You managed to restrain yourself and not blow up at that woman in front of her whole family and you really were trying to calm down so you can have a mature conversation about it.

You were trying.

but then, "Y/n Stark how dare you disobey your mother!"

What?

"What?" You say eyes ripping open and anger finally bubbling over

"How dare you! I asked you for one thing! All I wanted was to make sure my family would have been okay!"

"And are they dead?" You ask bluntly, " Is everyone who was infected dead?"

Christine turned red, " That is not the point young lady and I don't appreciate you talking about your family like that."

"They are NOT my family!" You shout, " You are not my family"

'Y/n" Christine start but now you were the one to cut her off

"NO, and since we are on the topic of not appreciating things lets talk about how I don't appreciate how you have been deliberately LYING to me."

"Excuse me?" Christine asks angrily, " I will have you know that I do not have to disclose every single piece of information I have to yo."

" Not even when it's about my own father." You said with an even tone, " Or do you not have to disclose that piece of information to me."

Christine lifts her chine, " Y/n I have no idea what you are talking about?"

"Oh you don't?" You ask," So you and your husband aren't hiding emails from my father to me in that big ass computer?"

Eyes widen, " How do you -"

"How do I know about that?" You mock, " So it's true?"

"Y/n that's not the point" Christine started, " Your practical joke could have seriously put the lives of your siblings in danger."

" My siblings?" You ask, " They are not my siblings! I don't even know those people!"

Christine stays quiet, then shakes her head, " If you would just come out of the room and get to know them other than Jason-"

"Why so they could tell me how great you are?' You say, " So they can tell me memories they have of you being a good mother to them?"

Christine's eyes well up with tears, " Y/n that's not fair"

"Oh that not fair to you, mom?" you shout, " And it was so fair to me when you left me to raise another kid?"

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

In the hallway Dick and Jason are paused half way up the staircase.

Dicks heart falls into his stomach at your comment, knowing that that kid you were talking about was him.

Jason on the other hand had a grim look on his face. He knew that this conversation needed to happen in order for anything to move on.He knew the years of resentment you were holding on to. It wasn't fair to you that everyone in this house had this subconscious expectation that you should just put those years behind you.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

"That is not what happened" Christine says wetly, " It was just hard, Y/n you don't understand."

"Hard?!" You shout angerliy, " It was hard? Hard for you to visit your daughter once every three fucking months? Was it hard for you to lead my dad on then crush his heart every time you left?"

"NO Y/N thats not true" Christine shouted but before she could continue you went on

"No???" you mocked, " Then what was it mom?"

" Everytime I went to see you, you had grown." Christine sniffs, " You had grown and had new adventures and stories and milestones that i was not a part of. I-"

"OH bullshit!" You shout

"Y/n." Christine says sadly

"NO, no you don't get to play that card! You left by choice!" You cry, " You left me by choice, you hid me away by choice! You chose this life for us."

" I loved you so much. I LOVE you so much Y/n!"

"You have a funny way of showing it." You say dryly, " You have this perfect life here. Perfect husband, a shit load of kids who adore you. I adored you. Why wasn't I enough?"

Christine's heartbroke and she couldn't answer you because truthfully, she didn't have an answer.

"And the one parent I was enough for I had to leave. I had to leave him and my mother behind for my other one who didn't want me. And I'm stuck in a house full of these kids who adore you and didn't know that I adored you well before them. And yet even though I'm here I'm alone. And that still isn't enough for you."

Christine wanted to say you weren't alone. You weren't because you have her. She's here for you, but that wasn't true. She hadn't been there. She wasn't there even when she was.

"You had to make me think my father forgot about me the way you did for what? So I can like you again? So I could forget all the times you promised you were going to come see me and you didn't? Why?"

"I..I just wanted to keep you safe.." Christine spouted pathetically.

"Safe?" You said, herding her towards your door, " No, everything you've done is because you want to look better. You're selfish. That's what you've always been"

And with that you slam the door in her face, startling the boys on the stairs and Christine as she didn't even realize that she was in the hallway.

Staring at your door she wept. For once, truly feeling the regret that she said she had been feeling. She did truly love you, she had not lied about that. To hear you finally say how you weren't enough for her broke her heart.

"Ma..are you okay?" Jason softly asked as Dick went to knock at your door, a bit angry at the way you spoke to his mother,

"Leave her be." A soft voice demanded from the hallway, " Dick, leave her be. Your mother was not the only one hurt in that conversation."

Bruce walked to Christine, and gently lead her to their room.

Upon the commotion outside, no one heard you open your window and slip out.

"It's about time, I almost died waiting for you."

"You can't die, that's your whole thing." You reply, wiping tears from your face.

"You're crying." Wade says in an unnaturally serious voice, " Do I have to kill your hot mom?"

You cringe, " No, just get me out of here."

"I could do that, actually I have a surprise for you~" He sings as he leads you to his taxi...

You heard what sounds like banging coming from the trunk and you're slightly scared to open it.

"Wade.."

"Oh don't be a pussy" He says opening the trunk.

Popping out with a gasp is

"Peter?" You say with a sigh, eyes welling up with tears again. You truly have missed your friends.

"That was not cool Wade!" He shouts, not grasping where he was, " The trunk smelled like nachos and vomit! I couldn't nngh-"

He grunts as you throw yourself into his arms, " Y/n.."

His arms wrap around you tightly, " Y/n what are you.. Where am I?"

"Gotham, now get me the hell out of here."

And with that, you're loaded into the car, taking the backseat with Peter and Wade in the front with an Indian man.

"Y/n this is Dopiender"

"Hello ms. Stark, I promise I will defend you with my life."

"Oh...well, thank you."

"This was surprisingly easy." Wade said as they pulled out of the long driveway, " Bruce Wayne should update his security."

What they didn't know, was that a pair of bright green eyes watched your reunion through the security camera in the Batcave. Squinting as they saw the tears flow freely through your face and noting the license plate and the men you were with.

[baisemains]

Elements of Desire

Chapter 1: Freaks & Geeks

single mom!sevika x fem!reader

word count: 2.8k

contains: fluff! just a meet cute really, timebomb as a plot device, age gap technically (reader is early 30’s)

description: your newest student clashing with your brightest might be the best thing that ever happened to you.

ao3 link | spotify playlist

next // sevika masterlist

It was a normal Thursday morning and you were on your way to your chemistry classroom, already late to prep for your first class when your phone beeps. Hearing the tell-tale ring of Outlook, you know it’s something important so you pull it out of your pocket and see that the school secretary has emailed you.

‘New student being added to your first period, updating your roster now.’'

You internally groan, you’ve officially hit max occupancy for the year and it’s only the first week of October.

Taking a deep breath, you reach your classroom and quickly start to put your things in the corner behind your desk before your students start arriving.

Hearing footsteps, you look up and see one of your favorite students, Ekko, walking in.

“Hey dude, ready for today’s quiz?”

He smiles at you, both of you already knowing the answer. Ekko is the top student in your class by a mile, you’ve got no worries when it comes to him.

“Of course, teach, when have I ever let you down?”

You laugh and go back to pulling out your materials for the day.

The rest of your class files in within the next few minutes, and you’re just about to start the day’s lesson when there’s a gentle knock on the door.

Walking over, you open the door confused and see a blue haired girl standing there, nervously twiddling with the straps of her backpack.

“Hi, I’m Powder, they told me this was my first period…?”

You school your face and usher her inside, smiling as she stands at the front of the class, unsure of what to do.

“Everybody, this is Powder, our new student. Make sure you help her out if she needs it, alright?”

Murmurs of agreement float around the room as you turn to Powder.

“Follow me, I’m gonna introduce you to your lab partner.”

You walk her to the very back row of tables and stop next to Ekko’s station.

“Powder, meet Ekko. Ekko, meet Powder, your new partner.”

Ekko looks up from where he was writing in his notebook and furrows his eyebrows.

“…What do you mean, my new partner? I thought you said I could go without one this year.”

“I did, before the district filled up my class and left me no choice.”

“That’s not fair! A partner is just gonna slow me down, I’m gonna have to help her and do my work!”

Ekko starts to plead his case with you, but you hear Powder shuffle behind you and you’re not having it.

“Hey. I know it’s not an ideal situation, dude, but we’ve gotta work with what we’ve got. Give her a chance before you say anything else, alright?”

You raise an eyebrow at him and his shoulders slump, knowing you’re right. He never could really be mad at his favorite teacher.

“Okay, teach, my bad.”

He clears his stuff off of the chair next to him and you gesture for Powder to sit down.

“I’ll be right back with an assessment, okay? Let’s see where your chemistry skills are at.”

You leave the two of them and walk back to your desk to grab a general knowledge test so you can gauge where Powder sits in relation to the rest of your class. You hope she’s at least got the basics down or you’ll really feel bad for making her Ekko’s partner.

Heading over and giving it to her, you tell her to take as long as she needs while you hand out the planned quiz to everyone else.

While the kids are doing that, you sit at your desk and start grading assignments from last class. You’ve barely gotten through a handful when Powder walks up to your desk. Assuming she needs help, you look up at her and smile.

“What’s up Powder?”

Her eyes flicker between you and your computer as she chews on her lip.

“Um, I…finished my test.”

You blink at her. Glancing at your clock, it’s barely been fifteen minutes when it should’ve taken her at least thirty, and that’s comparing it to your brightest students.

Smiling softly to not make her so nervous, you put your hand out and ask to see it.

Scanning it over, you’re in shock. Every answer seems correct so far and all her work is accounted for. You wonder for a second if Ekko had helped her but quickly shot down that thought when you remember how reluctant he was to have a lab partner.

“Powder, this looks…perfect. Have you taken chemistry before?”

She lets out a shy smile as she answers.

“No, I just really like math.”

The gears in your head begin to turn as you realize you may have a star student on your hands.

“That’s great to hear! You think you’d feel comfortable taking today’s quiz? It covers the last couple units we’ve been working on.”

Her smile broadens at that.

“Yeah, that sounds okay.”

By the end of class, Powder’s successfully caught up to the rest of the kids and is starting to become an active participant, much to Ekko’s chagrin.

The next couple weeks of classes pass by quickly, and a new rivalry begins to bloom between Ekko and Powder.

At first, you thought it was just friendly competition between partners but you soon realize it’s more than that.

One day, you hear bickering from the back of the classroom and see Powder trying to reach for a test tube Ekko is holding.

The closer you get, the better you understand them when you hear Ekko yell, “I don’t need your help with this, you’re just gonna jinx me!”

As he says that, he leans back and begins to tilt the test tube directly over the boy standing at the next station.

Almost as if in slow motion, you immediately leap forward and push him out of the way as the liquid pours onto the ground and sizzles.

The entire class goes silent as you stand there staring at your two best students, feeling the smoke pour out of your ears.

The dam finally breaks as you loudly scold them both about safety guidelines and the hazards of the chemicals they’re dealing with.

They have the decency to look embarrassed and apologize to their classmate when you tell them that you’ll be contacting their parents.

Both of them look at you in horror and beg you not to, but your mind is already made up and you head to your desk to email their parents about a conference as soon as possible.

Ekko’s parents are able to meet that evening, a lovely couple that you met at Back To School Night, who apologize profusely for their son’s actions.

You tell them how you’re not going to go too hard on their son because he’s usually your best student and you know this isn’t typical behavior from him, although you do expect him to clean up his act.

Ekko sincerely apologizes and you nod, shooting him a quick smile to let him know you accept.

They thank you for your time and promise that he will no longer be a problem in class, whisking him out of the room with a large hand gripping the back of his neck.

The next night, you’re set to meet Powder’s mom as she was busy the previous one.

Having zero idea what to expect, her very curt reply to your email asking to meet didn’t leave you a whole lot to work with.

You just hope she’s not one of those parents who expect the teacher to be their kid’s only disciplinarian, you have enough of those already.

It’s nearing five o’ clock, the designated time for your meeting so you start organizing your desk a bit, not wanting anyone to think you’re a slob.

As you’re facing away from the entrance, you hear a gentle knock from the doorway and as you turn around to face your visitors, you wish you had googled the name from your email.

The last thing you’d imagined Powder’s mom to be was the hottest woman you’d ever seen, but you remind yourself she was still a parent you needed to talk to, so before you think about it too much, you wave them over.

“Please come in, both of you.”

Powder walks in first, sheepish with her hands behind her back.

Her mom follows, and your eyes trace over her face, having to look up the closer she gets.

You notice her thick eyebrows, slightly furrowed at the moment, framing her daunting grey eyes. Short black hair caresses her face, threatening to hide it from view. Her nose is prominent, and you decide how well it suits her. She also has a labret piercing, which draws your attention to her thick lips, currently situated into a closed half smile.

You don’t even realize you’re looking at her mouth until she starts talking.

“Sevika, Powder’s mom.”

Her large hand stretches out towards you and when you slip your hand into hers, it takes a good amount of effort to not shake it for longer than necessary.

It’s surprisingly soft, even with all of the calluses you can feel, and pleasantly warm. You wonder if she was wearing gloves to protect them from the chilly fall air outside or if she's just blessed with good genes.

Introducing yourself as well, you remove your hand from hers and drop it to your side, already feeling like you’re missing something.

Now looking between the two, you think that Powder is maybe adopted – or looks like her dad, you dreadfully think to yourself – because she doesn’t bear any resemblance to the Amazon in front of you.

Before you can say anything else, the woman in front of you takes a step back and nudges Powder’s shoulder before stuffing both of her hands into the pockets of her leather jacket.

“Go ahead, tell her.”

Your eyes flick up to Sevika, who’s smirking at her daughter and you quickly look back down before you catch her eye.

“I’m sorry for how I’ve been acting lately, I never meant to let it go that far. I promise to lock in and be the student you deserve,” Powder declares with watery eyes, looking down at the floor when she’s done talking.

Pressing your lips together to contain your laugh, you close your eyes for a couple of seconds to gather yourself, finally opening them to see that Sevika is looking right at you.

Breaking the eye contact and clearing your throat, you look down at the girl in front of you and lay your hand on her shoulder.

“Thank you for apologizing Powder, it means a lot. I know you have what it takes to be an amazing student, you’ve been doing it this whole time. You just gotta quit the stuff with Ekko.”

She looks up at you at that, a defiant glint in her eye.

“You got it, teach,” she tells you through gritted teeth.

You giggle at her response, and then remember something else you wanted to bring up in this meeting, gesturing for both of them to sit at the station in the front row.

Grabbing a flyer from your desk, you walk back over and set it down in front of Sevika.

“So there’s a science fair coming up in the spring, and I think Powder should enter.”

Two pairs of eyes look up at you with matching lifted eyebrows, and for the first time tonight, you see a resemblance.

After laughing in your head, you continue on with your explanation.

“It’s open to all high schoolers in the state, and there’s a cash prize for the top three students; $10,000 for third, $25,000 for second, and $50,000 for first.”

Sevika’s eyes widen, letting her stoic mask slip for the first time tonight.

“The idea is to give them a head start on a college fund, but because the prize pool is so large, they require applications to even be able to conduct an actual project. They only accept the top 1,000 submissions, and then they cut it down to 100, but I really feel like Powder has a shot.”

You look between the two sitting in front you, gauging reactions.

Sevika chews the inside of her cheek as she glares at the flyer in front of her.

The first thing that enters her mind is just how life changing that money would be.

Powder's never wanted for anything, but it's also been a struggle to give her the best life Sevika feels she deserves, especially being a single mother.

'...50 grand for first place, huh?"

Sevika looks over the flyer skeptically for a few beats longer before passing it to Powder, who looks like she's about to faint from excitement.

You rub your hand on the back of your neck, suddenly feeling a bit embarrassed for just throwing the idea out there like that.

Sevika's grey eyes flick back over to you after observing her daughter for a couple seconds.

"How much work is a project like this gonna require?"

Breathing an internal sigh of relief, you feel like you have a shot to convince her.

“It is gonna take up most of her free time, until the spring, I won’t lie, but if she can pull this off, it’ll all be worth it.”

Sevika lets out a scoff at that, crossing her arms over her chest as she leans back in her chair.

"So I'm just supposed to let her spend months at your beck and call? No way, I-"

Powder suddenly slams her palm on the table before Sevika can protest further.

"Pleaseee, mom?”

Sevika looks down at her daughter, eyes narrowing at being cut off.

"This could seriously change my life, our life, and I promise it won't get in the way of my school work. I won't let you down.”

Sevika’s demeanor softens at that, seeing Powder’s determination reminds her of herself in a way.

After a few seconds of silence, Sevika turns back to where you’re standing and pierces you with a look.

“I’m not saying yes. I’ll think about it, but I do want you to send me more information about this thing.”

You nod fervently, grabbing the flyer and ripping a piece off the bottom to jot your number onto it.

Passing it to Sevika, you smile warmly.

“Of course, that sounds great. You’ll have my number if you need anything.”

She takes the slip, briefly touching your fingertips as she pulls it away, your cheeks heating up at the contact.

You look down at Powder, and she’s almost in tears with excitement.

Sevika rises from her chair and motions for Powder to follow as she stands in front of you.

“I’m serious about what I said. I want every bit of information you have on this, and then I’ll consider my answer.”

To punctuate her sentence, she sticks her hand out for another handshake, and this time, you grip her palm with the same energy she’s giving you, determined to show her that you’re serious about this.

“Of course, Sevika. You have my word.”

Her mouth twitches up into a small smile when you say her name, deciding she likes the way it sounds.

You notice her small gap for the first time, and feel a little swirl in your stomach.

“We’ll be in touch then, miss. Powder, let’s go babe, I gotta grab your sister and get dinner started.”

She drops your hand – slowly, you realize – and the two of them leave out the way they came, Powder clutching the flyer in hand and waving at you as they disappear from your sight.

Taking a seat in your desk chair, you start drafting up an email with more information about the science fair to Sevika, not wanting to waste any time.

It's almost an hour later when you're finally done detailing everything Sevika needs to know, and once you hit send, you lean back in your chair and finally let out the breath you'd been holding in.

The whole interaction left you feeling a bit frazzled, but not in a bad way.

You couldn't stop thinking about Sevika's face, the crinkle in her eyebrows whenever she looked at you, her eyes boring holes into your very soul.

Really, you can't help but be a bit frustrated at the fact you hadn't been able to stop staring at her the entire time, wondering what's wrong with you for thirsting over one of your students' moms.

With an annoyed groan, you rub your face to hopefully snap yourself out of it and pack up your things to leave for the night, thoughts occupied by this new character in your life.

[bunnybunbun0]

Our love is god|Homelander x Reader

Warnings: Canon typical violence (though i could easily classify this as yandere homelander,but again,its homelander,we know how pookie is), reader gets SAd (booty slap and unfortunate comments),murder,they kiss in a sweet way,ididots in love,reader sort of let herself be tainted to be like homelander.

Summary: On the thrill of your new dream job,being closer and closer to homelander himself was not on your mind. Sooner rather than later you realize that for him this isn't just about attraction. Maybe you realized it too late.

A/N: English is not my first language so be kind! reader is coursing pharmacy in this because thats what im coursing and us pill making girlies dont get the attention we deserve. also this is being typed from the computer lab im supposed to be doing my capstone project in. Im too much of a theater kid to let the chance of writing this slide.

------------------------------------------------------

That wasn't supposed to happen. It wasn't how it started and it was definetely not what you expected to happen after your last talk.

Let's get it from the begining shall we?

After being accepted into your dream pharmacy college, getting an internship at Vought labs was the best news of your life. You didn't even cared about looking like a rookie, putting on your best pair of pants, slicking your hair back on a neatly perfect bun,and even cracking up your brand new lab coat your mother gifted you,your full name beautifully embroided on the breast pocket.

Your stomach burned with cold waves of nervousness on the walk through the sterile white halls that connected the lab with the rest of the building. Ashley, the CEO who gave you the tour,walked fast, making it hard to keep up the pace,that was until a strong earth breaking call of her name stopped her dead on her tracks.

From the corner of the long hall, a red white and blue shadow struted to the tall woman next to you like a raging bull, angered by something you couldn't quite comprehend,since all the words coming from his mouth,fell silent on your ears. Now, you weren't the type to swoon over blonde muscular super heroes, but seeing THE Homelander in person standing in all his glory in front of you was a complete different experience.

The sparkle in his cerulean blue eyes was much more shinier, his hair was flawless even in its messy hairdo, the tight material of his suit making his already toned chest and thighs the much more visible. You only snapped out of your haze when you realized he was also staring at you.

"Well? You're not gonna introduce us?" he asked Ashley, now in a polite tone, hands neatly crossed in his back,never taking his analizyng gaze off of you.

"The new intern?" She asked with surprised confusion, his sudden interest in someone other than himself being foreign to her.

"A new addition to the ever growing family huh? Welcome sweetheart! I'm sure i don't need presentations,and your name is?"

Being Homelander's new sweetheart protegee was not in your bingo of things you'd face on this internship,however,being the only female in the lab crew was expected as it has happened a lot more than you'd like. Only this time it was far worse than the last few.

You were used to being treated like a small little thing who couldnt lift heavy boxes of chemicals,or the constant help offer when dealing with machinery,what you hated the most was definetely having all your calculus double checked or being treated like a human dishwasher when it came to the time of cleaning up beckers and tube tests. but this time they have gone way too far.

It was Kurt. Always fucking kurt. He noticed you from day one,plaguing you with suggestive jokes,whistles,and not so subtle glances at your behind when you bend over to check on something.

You could relevate it,turning a blind eye to that,thinking only about the stable payment,and how bright your curriculum will be with Vought labs experience in it. But having your behind smacked because "Sorry sweetheart! Couldnt help having a feel with such a juicy peach around all day,it was bound to happen sometime huh?" as Kurt laughed and so did his equally idiotic mates,that was where you drew the line!

After the initial pang of shock dissipated all you managed to do was excuse yourself and sprint out of the lab,followed by the laughter and whistles mocking her reaction,still in gloves and a hair net,running up the halls to the breakroom;she shut the door tightly leaning on it sighing her frustrations out.

"Hey" the overly enthusiastic salute from the blonde snapped her back to the present moment "you look different,did something new to your hair?" he asked with a grin,messing with her about the safety gear still on.

"very funny!" you retorted ironically,the sound of latex gloves being snapped off filling the room as she slumped on the couch "what are you doing here anyways?" she asked.

"I was waiting for you." you blood ran cold.

Your feeling for him have been on a constant growing tanget;his daily good mornings,good afternoons and good evenings,always accompained of an overpriced coffe or a sweet treat,the way he'd walk you from the parking lot to the lab each morning,and from the lab to the parking lot after your every shift.

"what for?"

"we need to talk; I need to talk to you..." oh god it's happening,it's really,truly,undeniably happening right in front of your own two eyes.

"right...what is it you need?" you kept your voice steady besides the shaking on your leg.

"I...youre a very different person...from anyone ive ever met..." confusion took your features,were you being called weird again? He was quick in reassuring you, realizing you were getting the wrong idea.

"i mean it in the sense that you make me feel different...more..weak...pathetic..." "soft" you mirrored the voice coming from him.

To say you were surprised would be the understatement of the century. Nerdy girls like you don't have their feelings reciprocated so often,specially not by muscular prince like super heroes,it felt like something was cosmically out of place,your ever so rational brain would have detect something was fishy,had your horrible day not clouded your mind leaving you desperate for a hero.

"wow i...i never expected to hear something like this...specially from you...i thought...i thought i was delusional for catching feelings so easily" you chuckled shyly avoiding his gaze from your blossoming cheeks.

the blonde man's ears perked up at hearing your mention of feelings,that was all he needed to hear to ignore the trivial worries about feeling too much "human emotions",all he cared about was that you felt it too,and now he had a green light.

he grabbed your chin with a gentleness foreign to him,lifting up your head so you could look him in the eyes,the few seconds you spent looking at each otheer felt like hours,until the thin glass wall broke and he sealed both your lips. the kiss was slow,love and adoration dripping from the way he touched you, thumb circling your hips on a sweet caress.

okay, that kiss was definetely not on your bingo, but that doesnt mean you didnt liked it. teh two of you felt closed off in a small world that only fit you two eye to eye, two smiling idiots who took to long to kiss and had no idea on what to say to each other.

"yknow being here with you like this...it makes me nearly forget the crappy day i had today" you say in a low dreamly voice,that shiny glint in your eyes.

but johns smile faltered for a moment. he was not happy at all to hear you had a bad day, in his eyes, his perfect angel deserved nothing but absolutely perfect days 24/7, even if he had to make sure of it himself.

"what do you mean crappy day? what happened? are you okay?" he pulled away from you slowly to look you up and down to make sure you didnt have any injuries or any visible issue.

at his concerned look, you knew you fucked up. its not that he was a bad person,really, but when people he loved seemed to be in tough situations he tends to...take things a bit too far...maybe way too far sometimes.

"im okay dont worry,its just...being the only girl in a lab full of men can be more challenging than i thought" the ache in your heart didnt allow you to lie to him about what truly occured.

"what have those fucking nerds done to you?! i swear baby theyre just jealous of how much brighter you are that they could ever be!" he holds your face with both his hands; its impressive how fast his mood soured and how passionate he could be about defending you, yet none of this could let you not sense the hidden compliment in his words.

he found you smart. a man. *the* man. he found you smarter than any other scientist on the lab; smarter than any other *men* in the lab.

"you...you really think im that smart?" you asked softly, feeling truly appreciated since the first day of this god forsaken job. his eyes softened once again as he stroked your cheek with his thumb.

"i think youre the smartest girl in the whole wide world...and i think those idiots deserve to be punished..." both his voice and eyes darkened at the mention of it.

"what do you mean? youre gonna fire them?" concerned laced your voice,although you loved the thought of those disgusting pervs getting what they deseve, you cant help but worry about their oblivious wives and children at home relying on their monthly paycheck.

"we could make them think i will" he said with a malicious grin "if i give them a talking to stern enough im sure theyll never dare say a word to you anymore" he inched closer to you,rubbing your cheek once more with pure adoration in his ways "they made you cry...but that will end tonight"

when you re-entered the lab saying all the lab staff had been called up to the roof of the building,you felt like playing a high school again after all these years. like an evil prom queen being mean to the nerds on the science club.

on the elevator ride tall figures with lab coats still gribbed devilishy while looking at you, as if sensing the humiliation radiating from your body,the only thought conforting you for being in a situation like this was the thought of homelander being upstairs to defend you.

like a damsel in distress you kept your head down the whole elevator way up,sighing audibly in relief when the doors slide open to reveal the roof and of course the man you were craving to see standing there,on his back,imposing as ever with the american flag swaying on his big broad shoulders.

he turned around at the sound of your arrivals, smiling fakely like all the tv presentations hes ever done.

"ah! just the people i wanted to see! the big brains in the building huh? hows my favorite lab rats doing?" he asks moving theatrically,patting the back of the very confused men that looked around trying to understand what the hell was going on.

"so, it has come to my attention this lovely lady right here" he stood tall behind you rubbing your shoulders,his imponent presence nearly engulfing you whole "has been having a hard time when it comes to peacefully doing her job while sharing a lab with you" his fake smile not stopping the sense of an over laying threat behind those words.

kurt was yet again the first one to retaliate.

"shes having a hard time?" kurt scoffed "think about trying to focus on dammed pills while shes in there with us,am i right?" he trid to evoke a commotion amongst his peers,not as succeful as it was in the lab now that it was common knowledge that the homelander himself was not on board with you being picked on.

"i beg you pardon?" asked john,voice a bit more menacing now that he had a suspicion of what was really going on.

"hey,i get it man,man to man,ill lay off" kurt really didnt knew when to shut his big mouth did he? "lucky you to that all that for yourself" he motioned his hands in your reaction, referring to your body as if it was a product to be auctioned off. "i mean,id be mad too, if i founbd out someone took a feel of my girl's peach yknow?" she said with a low ironic chuckle.

okay,maybe it was your fault,maybe you should have been more direct as to what happened earlier,maybe you should have taken it to maeve or even ashley instead of him,or maybe you shouldnt even have mentioned anything to the blonde,but now it was too late for any of that.

you could feel his chest get tougher behind you as he inhaled sharply trying and failing to control his anger towards the imprudent man; next thing you could feel was a warm feeling by your right year,as if the sun had changed positions just to warm you up,turns out it was john,seconds before turning kurts head into a pile of blood and brain mush.

guts spilled evrywhere,and besides the yelling all around and the fact you could feel a piece of someones previous cerebellum stuck to your cheek,you felt frozen,as john chased the remaining of the scientists likie a mad man.

chris and brandon were now nothing but bodies on the roof,one propped up on tha wall gurgling on his own blood as lots of it were draining from the whole on his throat,as the other had his neck bent in such an inhuman way he passed with eyes wide open.

enraged and with glowing red eyes the supe approached trent, the last man alive as he crawled pathetically on the floor covered on his peers blood and guts, while his own wounds left him on the break of death.

"I DONT UNDERSTAND!" trent screamed,seeing as the number one role model americas hero just brutally murdered threee people in front of him because of some woman.

"we can start and finish wars,so dont go around starting what you cant finish" he got dangerously more close to the frightened dying man that "you see" he continued,surprisingly calm for someone commiting horrid acts "the dinosaurs choked on the dust,they died because god said they must...and so will you

"WHAT DOES THAT EVEN ME-" trent didnt have a moment to finish his sentence a red laser bean crossed his heart apart.

it took moments of silence for you to register the whole thing was over,that everyone you worked with tha past few months were now dead,and that the man you le was the responsible one for all of that.

a horrid and late scream of fear and anguish left your throat caughting johns attention, he approached you in a much calmer way he had the men before crading you in his arms as you shook in confusion.

"WHAT THE FUCK HAVE YOU DONE?!"

Following the sound of your horrified voice he peulled to look at you,bloodstained hands caressing your cheeks.

"I worship you" he muttered with as much sincerety in his heart as he could have "i'd trade my life for yours. And now that they disappeared,we can raise our new lifes here. i can make it so that youre the new head of the labs,would you like tha,huh? my smart girl,the head of vought labs,doesnt that sound beautiful?"

It did sound beautiful,your name ,as the head of the biggest pharmaceutical industry in the country,maybe of the whole world, and the men that tormented you everyday would never do it again, to you or anyone else. Aand youd do all that with the man you loved the most by your side everyday.

The entirety of the situation wasnt feeling as bad anymore, the red on your clothes being nothing but a sticky,crinsom act of love.

"Honey don't you see it? with your brains and my strenght, we can do anything we desire,we'll build the world again! Honey..." he looked so deep in your eyes it got you dizzy for a while "our love is God"

Yeah that was it. Im on that phase of my life where i hate everything i write but at the same time i wanna try so eeehhh, thank you for reading it! i was proofreading it but got lazy midway so sorry for any mistakes!

[callme-naomi]

Maybe One Day I Can Learn to Love You, Too

Word count: 1.9k words

This entire thing was a bad idea. Scratch that, it was a terrible idea. Jumping off Mount Everest can only compare to how risky this was, but if you pull it off, the win will be worth the risk.

*record scratching noises* let's rewind to what happened.

You were just a student minding your own business amidst the hardships that were college, and being in college meant you now entered the chance to get the most life-changing moment a girl can have: getting into a relationship.

Unfortunately, none of the boys in your class were up to your liking, and if they were, they were already taken.

While you first detested the idea of dating a senior, it all changed one day your friends and you were in the lab and a few seniors from the computer sciences section walked in. You recognized a few of them, but it was the blonde-haired* senior that caught your eye.

Unlike his other fellows, who were pretty loud and outgoing, he stood in a corner with his notebook tucked in his arm, his entire face schooled into seriousness as he waited for the others. While the instructor talked to them, dividing his attention between your batch and the seniors, you took this moment to scrutinize the silent boy even further.

"Who caught your eye?" One of your friends, Mary, bumped your shoulder, and you looked at her, annoyed.

"That one," you whispered, "by the board."

As if your voice carried over, he looked in your direction for a second, before sliding his gaze to something else.

"Ah, I didn't know your type was the nerd." she smiled at you, only for your other friend, Samantha, to intervene.

"Gotta agree, he does have the looks." She looked you in the eye. "If you have a crush on him-"

"Are you kidding me?" You scoffed, watching the seniors leave out of the corner of your eye. "My parents will disown me if I got a boyfriend before a degree."

Which was a blatant lie.

"Anyways, if you ever change your mind, let me know." Samantha, the biggest social butterfly you'd ever met, pointed to herself. "I'll arrange the rest."

"Thanks." You diverted your gaze to the heating copper sulphate solution and took it off.

"I'm surprised you don't have any questions." Mary prodded, to which you shushed her before you set the solution to cool.

"I'm trying to figure out which one to ask first. I have too many questions." You answered. "Now, what was his name?"

"Kento Nanami. Computer science major, topper ever since he set foot in this place." Samantha shot off like a gun, tossing her brown ponytail over her shoulder

"Far earlier than that." Mary added. "I was his junior in high school. Ask more, I'm enjoying this."

"You answered three of my questions in one go," you grumbled. "Anyways, is he dating anyone?"

You were embarrassed to see the two of them giggle. "No, he's single."

"A shame too, a fine lad like that." Sammy shook her head.

"So why don't you?" it slipped out of your mouth too quickly, and you immediately berated yourself for giving her the idea.

"Not my type. You done with asking?"

"Has he got any siblings? Or any best friends?"

"No siblings as far as I know, and he does have a friend, Yu." Mary answered this time.

"The one you're dating?" to which she nodded.

"Where does he live? Or spend most of his time?" you were about to ask this when the bell rung for the Maths lesson, and while you packed your things up, the two of them drew closer to you.

"Not making fun or anything, but if you're serious about this," Mary whispered fast, "you can tell us okay?"

"Okay."

****

In the next week, your entire google search history involved tips and stories of how to get your crush to notice you.

Somewhere in May, Samantha texted you. Hey, a senior of mine is asking for a girl. Her friend's single and you know, the formal dance event is coming up. You up?

Who is it? Do they even know me?

No damned idea.

Well, you were single too, but the thing was, there was only one person you wanted to go to prom with. That's a bit sudden, actually. Give me a few days to think, okay?

Soon, your crush became too obvious. You, who preferred to eat alone in the rooms, would go for lunch in the cafeteria just to catch a glimpse of him, and you began making frequent visits to the library to find him pulling out a book. Crossing in the hallways, he would look at you, and nod sometimes in greeting, and the entire day you'd be in the skies.

And when you found out he's in the soccer team? There wasn't a single match of his you didn't attend, even if it meant baking in the sun or freezing out in a fever.

It did not help when Mary or Sammy would tell you that they noted him occasionally glancing at you in break, or him looking around to find you if you're absent, or that he didn't borrow a library book just because you had needed it more.

You told them every time. only to an eye roll and smirk, that it isn't something serious or anything meaningful, meanwhile you kept gaslighting yourself into believing it's just a crush, you only think he's cool, but you couldn't stop yourself from imagining him and his pretty face and his arms and-

And if Mary was telling the truth, Haibara-senpai had mentioned he had gotten out of your crush that he likes a girl now, but wouldn't tell who. For a moment, your hopes raised, but when you didn't see any extra reactions from Kento, you quashed your silly dreams. maybe he liked someone from his class. But it only fueled your want to at least try.

Fast forward today, you had gone to ask Mary a favor.

"Hey, don't make fun," you warned her, "but could you have this delivered to him? Without telling him it's from me?" At her questioning stare on the wrapped packet, you explained, "it's his birthday."

Immediately her face split into a brilliant smile. "Why didn't you say so earlier?"

And when she texted you mission successful, you waited to see if he would figure it out or approach you.

You were seriously disappointed to find out none of that had happened, even though you yourself had told her not to reveal your identity, but you had hoped that maybe he'd try to prod it out of Mary.

And when during your Physics lesson, he came in to convey a message to the professor, you tried to get a clear view of his wrist without being too suspicious, and you felt your heart sink when you couldn't find a watch on his right wrist.

And that's when you decided to go for it, and texted Samantha, hey, I'm up for that formal dance. Is it still open?

You tried to drive him out of your head. But while the other girls began telling you you shouldn't have fallen for him and that he's too serious for someone like you and he's not good enough, there are other fish in the sea, you were adamant to prove that this wasn't just a crush or an obsession. Because when you intend on something, you plan to end it.

When you returned from the summer holidays, the school workload seemed to have increased tenfold in the students' absence. For a while, it gave you a distraction from thinking and scheming all the while about Kento.

That didn't mean you still didn't lie down in bed, staring at the ceiling thinking about him.

Recently, you had taken to the habit of tattooing, and while your parents were strict about a permanent tattoo - it's against the school code, we don't want you expelled because of some silly fashion or you can do it after school - you resorted to the black markers and Sharpies. So all time, your wrist would be decorated with some random doodles, or words.

Once having gotten told off by your professor, you began wearing longer sleeved shirts to hide your tattoos.

It was a random day and while the teacher had yet to come, you took the chance amidst the chaos of the classroom to begin doodling one of your most tattooed words ever onto your wrist.

Kento Nanami.

You were about to begin drawing a heart around your initials when suddenly the teacher came in to yell about getting ready for a biology lab practical. Marching into a line with your notebook and pencils, the instructor explained the objective on the way.

Your class had just learned how to take blood pressures last week, so now it was time to practice it on someone else. She herded you all to the computer laboratory, the other labs being isolated, and her not wanting to be scolded by some professor for disturbing someone else's class.

The computer lab was full of the seniors, who were on the table doing their work, when the instructor came in and asked them if they gave their permission for the lab.

Hearing their yes, she led you all inside and instructed you to choose a partner. You were pushed and barged against others who were eager to take a partner of their choosing and in the end, you stood there, waiting for someone unpaired to go take a test of.

Just before you could turn and ask the instructor what to do, a student asked to enter the room.

"Ah, there you are! Mind if she took your blood pressure for a practical?"

You turned around to see your teacher asking none other than your crush about this, and following her line of sight, he met your gaze. Nodding in assent, he walked over to you, before dragging out two stools for the both of you.

You reached out for his sleeve, before hesitating and looking up at him to ask his permission. He, who was following your every move with silence, used his left hand to push his sweater's sleeve up and allowing you to take the pressure.

None of you spoke, and you dared not break the sanctity of the silence, enjoying this closeness you could get, hearing his blood pump through and recording the observations.

"You're left handed?"

You had now heard his voice in a long, long time and while replaying the sound again and again, you answered, "yes. you're right handed, right?"

"Yes."

You were writing on your notepad when you pulled your sleeve back to scratch an itch, and that's when you noticed him stare at your wrist.

"May I ask what you've written there?"

"Where?" you asked in response, knowing full well what he meant. Laughing sheepishly, you just said, "oh, it's nothing-"

"It's alright, I apologize for asking."

"Oh it's completely fine. Are you good at keeping secrets?"

"I am." He was about to ask the reason behind your question when you pulled back your sleeve, waiting for his response to seeing his name doodled on your wrist.

"I know," you finally managed, unable to bear the silence that settled. It was today you decided to let it all out, once and for all. No regrets. "I like you, I have liked you for a long time, and well, I didn't know how to tell you."

"So you tattooed my name?"

"Yeah. It doesn't make sense, I know."

In response, he, keeping his gaze on you, pulled back his left sleeve to see-

"Recognize this?"

Of course you did. That was your birthday present to him. As you met his gaze with delighted surprise, he shook his wrist to bring the watch further down to show you a tattoo.

Of your name.

"It does make complete sense," he told a stunned you, "the same way I couldn't manage to tell you that I've liked you too. I hope you're good at keeping secrets as well?"

Guess we'll be finding out.

****

Exhilarated, and no longer single, you flopped down on your bed at night, the days ahead already looking brighter to you.

Scrolling down to your newest contact, Kento <3, your eyes slid to the latest chat, him asking you to come to the dance with him and with a panic, you remembered, the college dance's five days later!

You immediately texted to Samantha, hey, can you call that dance date off? I'm sorry, I'm coming with someone else!

GIRL WHAT? YOU'RE GONNA GET ME KILLED FR FR. though wait a damned second - WHO IS THE BOY? YOU FINALLY GOT ONE?

A second later.

Bad news girl: the date I said, my friend's just said he wanted to meet you tomorrow.

You called her and explained the entire situation.

"Look, I just agreed to someone else, I wanna go with them-"

"Girl, I get it, but you can't just do this out of the blue."

"Please? You always have something."

"Okay fine. How about you meet that boy tomorrow, and tell him face to face? And do something that won't make me look bad."

*****

Tapping your toes against the pavement of the coffee shop Samantha told you to meet at, you nervously went over the words you managed in your head. Hey, thanks for the offer, but I actually want someone else?

Finally, hearing footsteps behind you, you decided to raise your head and took a deep breath.

"Y/N?"

You looked up to see in a black jacket and jeans, Kento was staring at you.

"Oh hi," you waved , this is getting bad, now he'll see this, "I was here because a friend of a friend of mine said someone wanted to meet me here. For the dance date."

He looked down at his phone and showed you a picture. "By any chance, is this your friend?"

You looked into Samantha's DP. "It is her!"

"Well, I guess I'll ask you again: will you come to the dance with me?"

****

HEY GIRL! what happened? I heard you said yes?

Yeah, that was the guy I wanted, actually.

*in this au, he's changed his hairstyle to the one he now does as a sorcerer

Hello! this one is kinda longer (school romances ily) and this is my part for College AU, prompt day 5!

[marveloustimestwo]

Hii :))) please can I request some general headcanons for platonic tony stark? Sorry I don't have anything specific

Hello :) I'm always happy to do general headcanons for characters, so thanks for sending this in!

Warnings: Yandere themes, talk of Tony's daddy issues

I can see Tony getting attached in a few ways.

The easiest way this could happen is if you were his biological child, especially if you came from his Playboy days and he only found out a few years after you were born.

Tony can admit that he never had a good relationship with his father. The man had always been away for work, and even when he was home, he was cold and affectionless.

So in a case where he suddenly figures out that he has a kid whom he didn't have the chance to meet for several years, he will heavily overcompensate.

He never wants to be like his own dad and the fact that he wasn't around for the first few years will have him scrambling to make up for that.

Of course, the easiest way for Tony to do that initially is with his money. Depending on how old you are, he'll get you gifts that range from toys to books to super fancy computers.

And when he finds out what some of your interests are, you'll have far more than you would need to entertain those interests.

If you're an artist, you'll have all that you could need for your medium, such as incredibly expensive paint sets or the most expensive drawing tablet he could find.

If you enjoy reading, you'll have the most extensive library you could ever need, all right at your fingertips.

And Tony would be especially ecstatic if you were interested in science.

He wouldn't be like his father. Whatever interest you have, he'll be more than happy to learn about it just so he can spend time with you.

All those years without him won't mean much now that he's around all the time.

But if you take after him and are especially smart in science/robotics, you will not have a moment of peace.

He already spends hours in his lab, battling insomnia and nightmares, but you make it better. Now, working isn't just something to distract him, it's also something to bond with you over.

Even if the specific branch of science you're interested in is something he doesn't know yet, he would have no problem learning it.

Tony would happily spend hours in the lab with you, either building things with you or doing his own thing while you worked on your own interests.

The only things that would pull him out of it would be Pepper or Jarvis, who would have to remind him to take care of his own and your physical needs.

In that sort of situation, Tony would not take being separated from you again lightly. If your mother has issues with the way he interacts with you, he would have no problem trying to get full custody.

It would be rather easy considering he's filthy rich, but he'd still rather you have your mother in your life.

Another way I could see him becoming like this is obviously with Pepper.

It'd be like a dampened-down version of the last scenario. He'd want to be better than his father now that he has you, except unlike the previous scenario, he has all the time in the world to do it.

Especially since Pepper can and will keep him in check, so he won't overdo it completely. Tony just sees it as him screwing over his father and showing him that it can be done right.

Thirdly, while I think this is a little more unlikely, you could also be someone younger Tony ends up taking under his wing.

Especially if you're a young hero. If you work around or closely with the Avengers in some way, and he finds out that you're in your teens or early twenties, he will do his best to make sure you don't end up like him.

Tony has a lot of guilt, trauma, and PTSD from being a hero. He can recognize he was extremely arrogant when he was younger, and he didn't take things as seriously as he should have.

If he could save you from all of that, he would in a heartbeat.

Plotonically, Tony will try to do everything he can to make you feel loved. He refuses to be like his father. No matter what, you will know exactly how much he would do for you.

[roosterforme]

Always Ever Only You Part 8 | Rooster x Reader

Summary: The excitement you feel for your promotion ceremony gets tamped down by everything else going on. You feel like Cat is toying with Jake. You're anxious about your husband leaving for eight weeks. And you're hurt by what he says to you on your special night. 

Warnings: Fluff, smut, angst, swearing

Length: 5600 words

Pairing: Bradley "Rooster" Bradshaw x Female Reader

This was written to accompany my series Is It Working For You? along with a bunch of my one-shots and other series, but it can be read on its own! Check my masterlist for the reading order. Always Ever Only You masterlist. Gorgeous banner by @mak-32

"Hey there, big shot," Jake drawled from your lab doorway. It was early in the morning a few days before your promotion banquet, and you were the only one in the quiet space. Your plan had been to get to work early so you had a chance to get your nails done later, but you could already see that slipping away as he strolled in and made himself cozy. 

"Hi, Jake," you said softly. You'd been avoiding him, and he must know it. But he'd hurt your feelings by not telling you that he and Cat were...something. You could understand why she would decide not to mention it to you. But Jake? You considered him to be one of your best friends. But if he wasn't going to tell you about Cat, then you weren't going to tell him you saw them kissing in the tower. 

"You okay, Angel? Haven't seen you around much. Seen plenty of ol' Rooster's ugly mug, but none of you." His green eyes and slightly raised brow were a good indicator that he was not going to let you off so easily. 

You opened your mouth, about to tell him you'd seen plenty of him in the rec room with Cat, when suddenly she strolled in with her computer and a cup of coffee. The way she and Jake both froze up when their gazes met would have been comical if you weren't so damn annoyed with both of them. 

Jake flushed a shade of pink you never imagined you'd see on his face in a million years, and he cleared his throat as Cat walked coolly across the room toward her usual seat. "Oh, good morning," she said to both of you, taking in Jake's form from the corner of her eye. 

"Lieutenant Coleman," he replied with a dreamy look in his eyes. But Cat said nothing more, nor did she even acknowledge that he had spoken to her. But he wasn't deterred. He told you weeks ago that he planned on asking her out until she said yes. And he did it right in front of you. "Lieutenant, I was wondering if you'd like to grab dinner with me tonight?"

"No," she replied without looking at him. "No, thank you."

You rubbed at your temples, so frustrated by both of them as Jake leaned in close to you and said, "I think I almost have her. Later, Angel." And as soon as he left your workspace, you rounded on Cat.

"Can you please explain to me what is going on?" you snapped. 

She raised one eyebrow at you as she glanced over her shoulder. "Regarding?"

"Jake!" you nearly shouted.

"Oh," she replied with a shrug. "He keeps asking me out."

You slammed your computer closed and stood, and you didn't care that you were kind of looming over her. "I saw you with him. In the rec room. When we were working comms in the tower."

Cat's lips parted, but no sound came out. 

"Did you even care about going out with Cam? Or was all of this some deranged plot against Jake? Because both of them are my friends, Lieutenant Coleman."

Finally she was looking up at you with some remorse in her dark eyes. "I was thrilled when Cam asked me out, truly. But he doesn't like kids, and then the rest of the night just went downhill for me."

You nodded slowly and took a deep breath. "What about Jake?" you asked, pleased to hear that your voice sounded calmer now. 

"He's a flirt," she said without expression. "He seems interested in me. And he's gorgeous. But I can't take a man like that seriously."

"He's my friend," you reiterated, overanunciating every syllable, "and despite how it appears, he is a sweet man with fragile emotions. Please don't toy with him."

She clearly wanted to say something else, but you were on the verge of shedding some tears that would make you look like a foolish child, so you excused yourself and took your computer back to your office. 

You were overly emotional. You knew that. It was everything all at once, and your body couldn't forget the muscle memory of holding Jeremiah in your arms. Conversing with Cat was already hard enough for you; it always had been. But on top of her having Jeremiah, now she was messing with Jake's feelings and seemed to have no remorse about it at all. 

As you closed your door behind you and sank down into your desk chair, you swiped at your tears. As soon as your promotion banquet was complete, Bradley would be leaving you for two months. You were going to miss two months of trying to get pregnant. Everything you did felt like a waste of time and energy, and you half wanted to stop trying for something that felt impossible anyway. 

"Fuck," you whispered, blowing your nose with a napkin you found in your desk drawer. It was sitting next to your old nameplate, the one from before you got married and hyphenated your last name. This time next week, your husband would be well and truly in the middle of the Pacific Ocean, surrounded by young pilots who could probably get pregnant if they wanted to. "What is wrong with you?" you asked yourself out loud, but your voice sounded foreign to your own ears. 

You swallowed down the rest of your tears and texted Bradley.

---------------------------

Bradley waited in line impatiently, grabbing two sandwiches, because they seemed like the quickest option. You wanted him to bring lunch up to your office and eat with you there. It was his personal goal to try to make you as happy as he could for the next few days and fuck you nonstop right before he left when you were ovulating. Seemed like a solid plan. He grabbed a few packets of hot sauce just to make you smile and then headed for your office. 

As soon as you opened the door for him, you were tucked against his chest with your arms wrapped around his waist. "Miss me?" he asked, kissing the top of your head. 

"Little bit," you replied. "How was your morning?" 

You pushed him toward your desk chair and then settled onto his lap once he was seated. Any meal where you and he shared a chair or a plate was his favorite kind of meal. He never liked sharing anything before he met you, but now he didn't like being without you at all. 

"My morning was better than Jake's," he said, taking a bite of one of the sandwiches while you drizzled hot sauce on the other one. "I don't know what he did to piss off Hondo, but it's been weeks now of never ending pushups and running laps around the buildings and through the drainage ditch. It's fucked up, but he's taking it on the chin."

"That's not cool at all," you said, glancing at him before you nibbled on your lunch. 

"How was your morning?" he asked, still daydreaming about how he woke up with your hand on his cock. 

"Eh, not great. Honestly? Cat Coleman is once again kind of on my shit list. And I didn't tell you this before but, Roo... I saw her and Jake making out in the rec room, and I really just feel like she's on some sort of mission to......."

You were still talking, but Bradley's brain was processing too many things at once. Oh. 

"Oh," he said, leaning forward and kissing your lips, completely cutting you off. "Sweetheart. Cat Coleman."

You gave him a weird look. "Yeah, Roo. That's what I said. You know Cat." You were speaking slowly and looking at him cautiously. 

"No, Baby Girl. Cat Coleman. Coleman! And Hondo! Holy hell, that's why Jake can't get a fucking break all of a sudden. Because of Cat Coleman."

You gasped and practically tossed your sandwich onto the desk. "I completely forgot Hondo's last name, because he's just Hondo. But that's her Uncle Bernie!" 

Bradley watched your gaze go hazy as he finished his food. Did Jake know about the relation between Hondo and Cat by this point? Did he know that's why he was getting his ass handed to him every day? Did he care?

"Bradley," you snapped, now looking right at him. "Cat's letting Jake take hundreds of extra push ups every day? Like this is fun for her or something?"

"Well, hang on," he started, because he didn't know Cat well, but she seemed okay. "Maybe she doesn't know about Uncle Hondo running Jake ragged."

But he could tell you were seething now, and apparently his warm, cuddly lunch was over, because you stood and thrust your sandwich into his hand. "I'm not hungry anymore," you muttered, pulling your phone out.

Bradley sighed and finished your sandwich in three bites and stood as well. "Don't worry about Jake too much," he whispered, kissing your neck as he wrapped his arms around you from behind. You smelled good. He wanted to run his nose and lips all over your body, undress you inch by inch and take his time with you. He knew you would be ovulating soon, and he thought maybe a quickie would be good? Maybe get a jump start on the month?

"I've got to go talk to Cam," you said. "Will you lock my door when you leave?" You kissed his cheek and then you were gone. So he took a minute to make sure his erection wasn't visible, and then he locked your door before heading back to the tower. 

It looked like Jake didn't even get a lunch break. He was soaked with sweat, and it wasn't even that hot out. Bradley watched him finish some push ups before getting to his feet and standing at attention for Hondo to lay into him. Bradley stood still, not wanting to get Jake into any extra trouble. But no matter what Hondo was saying, Jake only showed him the highest level of respect. 

When Jake started to head inside where everyone would regroup for the afternoon, Bradley followed him. "If I knew you weren't getting lunch, I would have brought you the hot sauce contaminated thing my wife didn't eat."

"Nah," Jake said, wiping his forehead with his sleeve. "It's cool."

He seemed very relaxed about his push ups. Bradley wasn't sure what he should do or say. He wasn't sure how much Jake knew about Hondo. However... if he was no longer complaining about being singled out in these punishments... surely he must know.

He couldn't catch himself before he blurted out, "She saw you, man. She saw you and Cat."

Jake's eyes went wide, and he stopped wiping at his sweaty brow. "Angel saw us?"

"Yeah. And I sincerely hope you know what you're getting into here. You know who Hondo is?"

Jake nodded and softly said, "Yeah. Figured that one out on my own from the last name, and the fact that they're both from Maryland and do look a little similar."

"So what?" Bradley asked, shrugging sarcastically. "You're going to just let Hondo wear you down bit by bit? Even though you've been flying great? I take it he adamantly objects to you fucking his niece?"

Jake's eyes flashed with anger as he rounded on Bradley. "I'm not fucking her. I'm not fucking anyone, okay? I thought I made that clear."

"Okay," Bradley said, holding his hands up in surrender. 

"That's not even why I like her so much," Jake grunted. "I asked her out a bunch of times after she had that bad date with Cam Harvey. One day I asked her when we were alone in the elevator, and she told me to shut up, and then she kissed me. And then she kissed me again in the hangar. And then she kissed me in the rec room, and fuck... I don't know what to do. Because we made out in my car yesterday. And I asked her out again, and she told me no. Again."

Bradley was trying not to laugh out loud, so he simply said, "My wife is kind of pissed at you, I think. Please fix that." And then he headed for the stairs leaving Jake sweating for more than one reason. 

--------------------------

You had been avoiding everyone else for the past few days, not only because you were sick of the bullshit, but also so you could spend more time with Bradley. You started tracking when you were ovulating on your phone, but you hadn't told him about it. You didn't even really like thinking about it yourself, but since you had a visit with your doctor coming up, you wanted to be able to talk about your fertility. 

Bradley let you sleep in late on Saturday, and when you finally rolled out of bed, the smell of coffee and toast had your stomach growling. When you went into the kitchen, Bradley was naked, leaning against the counter and reading something he got in the mail. Tramp was sitting at his feet, hoping for a little snack. As Bradley raised a piece of toast to his mouth, he turned to look at you. 

"Morning, Sweetheart," he said, clearly startled as he flattened down the mail and tossed it carefully aside. 

"You're naked," you whispered, taking your time, letting your gaze wander everywhere. The tattoo on his right bicep made your skin feel warm, and his thick cock had you licking your lips. 

"Yeah, I've gotta wear a suit all night. I'm trying to get my freedom in now," he said with a grin.

"You're ridiculous," you giggled, closing the distance to him and pressing your lips to his tattoo. 

He wrapped his arms around you and pressed his lips to your ear, keeping you in place as the prickle of his mustache had more laughter bubbling out of you. "You want me to make you some toast?"

"How long have we been together, and you still only know how to make toast?" you asked, turning your head to kiss his lips. 

"Hey, be nice. I get better every day."

You licked his mustache, and Bradley's cock throbbed against your belly. "Yeah, you do, Roo," you whispered, smiling against his lips. As your fingertips brushed along his scarred cheek, he slowly reached for the hem of his soft UVA tee that you were wearing. You shivered as he guided the fabric up, skimming your body with his fingertips as he went. "You get better and better," you moaned. 

The shirt was discarded across the room, and Bradley's hand went right to your dainty Rooster tattoo before he grabbed you by your hips and lifted you up onto the kitchen counter as you squeaked. He sighed deeply as he planted his palms on the counter on either side of your butt and leaned in close to you.

"You don't even want toast, do you?" he asked, brushing your lips with his as you looped your arms around his neck.  

"No," you whispered, nipping at him as he pulled away a few inches. "I don't want toast."

You spread your legs wide and let your toes trail up and down his legs, urging him closer, but he just smirked. "Tell me what you want, Baby Girl. I want to hear you say it."

His tip was right there, teasing your entrance with his precum as your head tipped back, and a soft, needy sound escaped you. Bradley's hands went to your hips, fingers digging gently into your flesh. When you met his eyes, you knew he was ready to go, but you knew he wouldn't until you told him.

"I want something sweet for breakfast. A creampie from my husband."

"God damnit," Bradley groaned as his big hands squeezed your hips. "I'm all yours."

As you scooted to the very edge of the counter and took his length in one of your hands, you guided him inside you where he belonged. "Yeah, you are," you confirmed, and then he started thrusting. You had to hold on tight as he whispered the loveliest things that made you feel like you were going to float away.

"I love you."

"You're perfect."

"I was made for you."

"Show me your pretty eyes when you cum for me."

So you did. And even though you were sweaty and your glasses were crooked on your nose, Bradley told you that you were everything he wanted, and he gave you that sweet creempie after serving up a delicious orgasm on a silver platter.

You kept him buried deep, his lips on your shoulder as you cradled his head and stroked your fingers through his hair. "I love you, Roo." He continued to treat your oversensitive skin to his lips and hands, making no move to leave you yet. After a few more minutes, when his mouth settled on your collar bone and your hands were enjoying the feel of his biceps, you thought he might get hard again while he was still inside you. 

Just as your pussy pulsed with excitement at the idea, Tramp ran to the front door, barking up a storm. Bradley leaned to the side and groaned as he looked out the window. "It's Jake's car."

You whined and tried to keep him in place, but Bradley pulled his cock free of your pussy, and you knew his cum was dripping onto the granite counter by the look on his face. "So pretty," he whispered, swiping his fingers through the mess quickly, and when you parted your lips, he slipped his fingers into your mouth. "Such a filthy wife." You sucked his fingers clean, and then there was a hard knock on the door, and you were scrambling for your shirt. Bradley ran to the bedroom, but a few seconds later, he threw you a pair of your leggings. 

"I'm getting in the shower," he informed you as you pulled your leggings up over your messy, sticky thighs. 

He was gone again as there was another knock on the door. "I'm coming!" you shouted, giggling, because you just did. But when you opened the door, Jake was standing there with a huge bouquet of flowers. "Hi," you said a little cautiously. 

"Angel," he drawled, handing the blooms to you with a shrug. "You gonna invite me in?"

You could hear the shower start up in your bathroom along with one of Bradley's playlists. "Sure." He slipped past you and started playing with Tramp. "What are the flowers for?"

He looked at you like you were very dense. "You're being promoted tonight, Lieutenant Commander. And, I've been a bit of an ass."

You snorted and carried the flowers to the kitchen, setting them down next to Bradley's mail pile. "Well, that's nothing new."

"No," he replied, "I suppose not. But I was rude to you the other morning, ignoring you as soon as Cat got there."

You sighed and eyed him carefully. "You shouldn't let her take advantage of you. I know about you and Cat, okay? I saw you in the tower like a week and a half ago, kissing in the rec room." Your voice sounded bitter, and you felt like you needed to defend yourself, but he was already talking. 

"I know you know. Rooster told me. And I'm sorry you didn't hear it from me first, Angel." His brow was creased, and he was looking at the floor.

"Why do you look sad? You're dating Cat."

He met your eyes instantly. "Is that what you think? Angel, she won't go out with me at all. I've asked so many times, but she just wants to mess around." He ran his hand up and down the back of his neck and muttered, "I'm getting the impression she wants to sleep with me as long as I'm willing to keep it quiet."

Your blood was absolutely boiling now as you pulled him into a hug.

"Hey, no, it's okay," he whispered, patting your back before pulling away again. "I didn't even come here to talk about that. I just wanted to say good luck, and I can't wait to see your new pin next week. Oh, and I'll be around if you need anything when Rooster's gone."

Just then your husband strolled back into the kitchen, thankfully wearing clothes this time. He just picked up his mug of what must be room temperature coffee and kissed your cheek. "Listen to Jake, Sweetheart. You call him first if anything happens."

You rolled your eyes as Bradley smirked and leaned against the counter where you'd recently been sitting, stuffed full of his cock. "I will." 

The three of you chatted for a bit, but when you noticed that it was noon, you kicked Jake out so you could start getting ready for the night. But you were happy Jake had stopped by. It made you beyond upset that Cat was toying with him, but he wouldn't talk about it any further. 

When Bradley led you through your bedroom and into the bathroom, you smiled. "Why don't you take a nice, long bath before we get ready to go?'

You kissed him as he patted your butt and leaned down to get the water ready for you. And then he brought you a flute of champagne and a sandwich, and you soaked until the water started to turn cold. 

----------------------------

Bradley didn't know why he was so nervous. He had been nowhere near this bad when he was the one being promoted to Lieutenant Commander. But now that it was your turn, it was a combination of so many things. He was proud of you, and he wanted everyone to know it. He watched you get dressed earlier, and he knew that you were wearing one of your matching sets of sexy honeymoon underwear. He was nervous he'd put your pin on wrong. He was supposed to be texting photos to your parents. 

And you were ovulating, and he had a hotel room upstairs all ready for the two of you. This morning in the kitchen had been a real spur of the moment treat. He'd loved that. But he knew that you and he needed to get serious over the next day and a half before he left on deployment. 

He was spending so much time thinking about your cycle, that he almost forgot to take a picture of you being introduced with Captain Bickel and some other guy from your lab who was also being promoted. The urge to stand up, point you out and let everyone know you were his wife was strong, but he kept it together. He was, however, clapping the loudest for you. 

Your eyes caught his where he sat at the banquet table in the hotel ballroom, and he couldn't believe you were his. You were charming, beautiful and so smart, and you had that little tattoo just for him. He was obsessed, and he just knew a baby would happen eventually. It had to. You'd be the perfect mom, just like Carole. And he'd learn how to be a good dad, just like Goose. Bradley was already spending so much time thinking about baby names and the fact that he wouldn't mind a job teaching at Top Gun versus constantly flying missions.

"Oh shit," he muttered, jumping to his feet. It was time for him to pin you. Time for him to officially make you a Lieutenant Commander. He lined up off to the side of the small stage, waiting for his turn. Your bright smile and the soft curve of your cheek had his heart thudding in his chest. Nobody deserved this shit more than you did, and your smile just grew when he walked across the stage with your new pin in his hand. 

Bradley let his fingers skim along the white fabric of your jacket as he whispered, "Hey, Baby Girl."

"Hi, Roo," you replied, and he kissed your cheek softly before he added the little gold pin to your jacket that would make everyone stop and salute you. 

He patted it in place and said, "I'm proud of you." And then as an officer himself, he saluted you, and you reciprocated with a smile just for him before he left you up on the stage in the spotlight. Then your boss said so many flattering things about your work ethic and your character. And by the time you were dismissed from the stage, you came running into his arms. 

He held you against him, and you snuggled into his suit coat. When you eventually met his gaze with the most innocent looking expression on your face, he should have known you were about to make him blush. "Roo," you whined softly. "Admiral Simpson isn't here tonight. Who's desk are you doing to fuck me on, Daddy?"

You were a handful, literally and figuratively. His hands slid down your lower back to the top of the swell of your ass. "I thought you might ask about that. I got us a suite for the night. Penthouse. Pink champagne. A nice big desk with no time restraints and nobody to interrupt us."

Adoration washed over your face as you kissed his neck just above his shirt collar. "You're the best."

-----------------------------

Sitting through dinner between your boss and your husband was challenging, but after a glass of wine, you managed to pull it off. On one side of you, Bickel was talking about your lab. On the other side, Bradley was whispering about eating your pussy. 

As soon as dancing started, you took Bradley by the hand and let him out into the lobby. "You're done?" he asked with a smirk. 

"Yes, I'm done. Take me to our suite and do all that shit you just promised me."

"Anything you want, Lieutenant Commander," he rasped next to your ear as he removed your hat and handed it to you. As you waited for the elevator, his lips were on your hair and his hands were working on the buttons of your jacket while he hummed a song. You were so horny, you were ready to burst, probably because you were ovulating. But you'd barely been thinking about that at all. You just wanted your husband nonstop. That's what you were focusing on. 

"Fuck me on the desk," you moaned, wrapping your arms around his neck as he pushed you back against the wall of the elevator next to the control panel and selected the top floor. His hands were smooth as he unzipped your pants and eased his hand inside. 

"I'm going to fuck you everywhere." His body was huge and warm, and he had you boxed in. "I want you to keep that sexy bra on for me. Reminds me of our honeymoon."

You moaned so loudly, you barely heard the bell indicating that you'd arrived at your floor. Bradley picked you up and carried you out into the hallway where a family was waiting to go downstairs. "Evening," he muttered unapologetically as you giggled and sucked on his neck. He looked delicious in his blue suit, but you wanted him out of it, and you wanted his cock inside you.

As soon as you saw the beautiful hotel suite and chilled champagne, Bradley had you on the desk on your back, and he was leaning over you. "You gonna let me eat that pussy, Lieutenant Commander?"

"Yes, sir!" you whined before he kissed you hard and sloppy. He was working your shoes, socks, pants and underwear off, and soon you were there in your unbuttoned jacket and wrinkly shirt, naked from the waist down. The cool air on your skin had you tugging him by his hair until he released your lips. "Get to work," you commanded, and his mustache twitched as he smiled and slipped two thick fingers inside you. "Oh!"

"Don't rush me," he grunted slowly, pushing his fingers deeper. "I have plans for this pussy. I'll take care of everything."

And he did. He knelt on the floor and pulled you closer to his mouth, blowing softly until you were whining and begging to be touched. And then he ate you out until you had tears in your eyes. 

"You're dripping onto the desk, Sweetheart," Bradley muttered reverently. "Oh my god." He licked a stripe from your asshole all the way to your clit, and you could tell you were about to cum. He used his wicked mouth and fingers in tandem until you were grasping the edge of the desk and panting. And then you came for him when he told you to. 

When you sat up in a puddle of your own juices, you were dizzy and disoriented. Bradley stripped you down to just your white bra as you enjoyed the aftershocks of your orgasm. And then while he was still dressed in his blue suit with just his hard cock hanging out the front of his pants, he kissed you softly.

"Spread 'em nice and wide for me," he instructed, squeezing your thighs. "Show me that pussy." You did as you were told, because you were smart. Your husband had plans for you. He fucked you silly so that you were leaning back with your hands braced on the desk. Bradley was big and strong, and he managed to get just the right leverage so that you were seeing stars and gasping for air with every hard stroke. It almost hurt. But it felt too good at the same time. 

"Roo," you groaned, mouth hanging open and legs spread wide. His face was red, and the veins in his neck were prominent. You wanted to lick them and the beads of sweat dripping down his cheek, but he had you pinned in place by your hips. And he didn't slow his pace until he came inside you, chanting praises about your tight pussy and your pretty tits. 

And you were still a little dizzy as you and he climbed in bed, unwilling to clean up his cum before you got cozy. You were snuggling on top of him, giggling as his suit was half on his body and half off, and he was kissing your face as he caught his breath. 

"I like promotion banquet hotel room desks," you whispered, wondering if it was a good time to go pop that bottle of champagne. 

"Fuck, Baby Girl. I like everywhere with you," he groaned, tightening his arm around you. So you decided to forego that champagne for now and bury your nose against his neck where you felt warm and loved. 

You were about to tell him how much you were going to miss him for the next eight weeks. Your lips were parted, and the words were right there. But then he kissed your forehead and said, "Okay, I was looking at the calendar earlier, and your cycle is really working in our favor. You're ovulating now, and you should be ovulating again when I get back, so really, we're only going to miss out on one month of trying."

You swallowed hard and remained silent, but your heart was beating faster in a way that was making you feel nauseous, and your lip was quivering. 

"Roo," you whispered, unsure what to say. 

"I know," he added. "It's not ideal that I'm leaving now, but at least it's not for any longer. I've been thinking about it a lot, and taking a month off isn't the end of the world."

Tears leaked from your eyes, hot and angry. It was no use trying to hide them. He knew you were crying right away. "What?" he asked, surprised by your reaction. 

You jerked your body away from his and wiped at your eyes. Suddenly you wished you were wearing more than just your bra as you gasped, "I was enjoying my night! I wasn't even thinking about that!"

He looked like you'd physically hit him. "Oh. It's just that I'm always thinking about that, Sweetheart."

"Me too!" you replied, hands shaking as you climbed out of bed. "But taking one fucking night off to be proud of myself for something in my life that I can control was feeling really good!"

He looked at you cautiously as you found your underwear and then dug around in your overnight bag for more clothing. "I'm proud of you, Baby Girl. I told you that."

"Yeah," you snapped, pulling on a tee shirt. "And then you fucking ruined it by acting like I'm a job to be done. Like getting me pregnant is something to check off your list of chores." You threw your arms out to your sides as you stood in front of where he was still laying on the bed. "But guess what, Bradley. I'm not pregnant. Sorry. I'm sorry your chores are taking so long for you to complete!"

You choked and started sobbing on the last word, and when he reached for you, he was decidedly the last thing you wanted right now. Instead you turned toward the bathroom where you could be angry and hurt in peace.

A few minutes later, you were curled up on the bath mat when he knocked softly on the door. When you didn't respond, he tried the handle which you had locked. "Will you let me come in?" he asked softly. 

You shook your head and squeezed your eyes shut, trying to fight off all of the intrusive thoughts that were already filling your head and heart. Your voice was quiet and hollow as you said, "I'm sorry I can't give you what you want." And eventually you fell asleep right there between the toilet and the tub.

--------------------------

Roo, you're a team, sweet boy. Baby Girl, you're perfect. Thanks to @mak-32 and @beyondthesefourwalls

PART 9

@hotch-meeeeeuppppp

@swthxrry

@chassy21

@yaboid19

@solacestyles

@avoirlecoupdefoudre

@daisyhollyxox

@throwinsauce

@awesomebooklover17

@wintercap89

@whosyourgnomie4

@rosesinmars

@blog-name6996

@bcon24

@wishfulwithwine

@backinwonderl4nd

@tetragonia

@gingerbreadandpaper

@emptyloverofmine

@chaoticassidy

@missmirandafe

@changlingkhat

@sugarcoated-lame

@avada-kedavra-bitch-187

@katiebby04

@marantha

@averyhotchner

@abaker74

@heli991113

@k-k0129

@noz4a2

@tallyovie

@shanimallina87

@starlightstories

@teddyluvs2sing

@little-wiseone

@ccbb2222

@lilyevanswhore

@o-the-o-grim-o-reaper-o

@hecate-steps-on-me

@xoxabs88xox