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pathfinderunlocked · 1 year ago

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Zoltun Kulle, Sand Shaper - CR14 Humanoid

I bear the same scars they all did. They knew the truth of it. But the fools buried their heads in the sand.

Artwork is concept art from Diablo III, copyright Blizzard Entertainment.

High level wizards are cool enemies, but running a creature with 30+ spells available is a chore for DMs, and can be kind of unrewarding to players who gain very little benefit from learning what the enemy can do. This “wizard” NPC isn’t actually built like a wizard, and is instead designed as a unique creature without class levels. It uses prepared spellcasting like a wizard, but has an unusual number of spell slots, and doesn’t have any spell slots below 4th level except for cantrips.

The sand shaper is based on Zoltun Kulle from Diablo III, who IMO is probably the best-written villain in the entire Diablo series. “Sand Shaper” is the generic name for this creature.

It’s a very hard creature to permanently kill, as high level wizards tend to be, mostly thanks to its Prepared Soulstone ability. Unlike a lich, however, a sand shaper doesn’t begin reforming on its own. Someone else has to find and break its soul gem. It can communicate in order to trick someone into releasing it, which might be how the PCs first encounter this creature.

A couple of sand golems would be a perfect fit as minions during this boss fight if the sand shaper doesn’t already have allies - sand golems are exactly what Zoltun Kulle used as minions. An ideal battlefield would have some obstacles that he can teleport past but also see across, like a high ledge or a large hole in the ground. A sand shaper should typically be teleporting away from enemies any round in which they’re nearby, using dimensional steps.

Sand Shaper - CR 14

The bald, gray-bearded robed man wields a staff of twisted black iron, bearing the same glowing runes as his clothing. Adoring the top of the staff is a carving of a demon’s head.

XP 38,400 CE Medium humanoid (human) Init +8; Senses darkvision 60 ft.; Perception +10

DEFENSE

AC 18, touch 14, flat-footed 14 (+4 armor, +4 Dex) hp 120 (16d8+48) plus 28 temp hp Fort +11, Ref +12, Will +15 Defensive Abilities prepared soulstone SR 25

OFFENSE

Speed 30 ft., air step (5 ranks fly) Melee staff +11 (1d6-1) Special Attacks dimensional slide

Spells Prepared (CL 16; concentration +24) 8th—quickened greater false life, quickened greater false life 7th—intensified widened fireball (DC 21), intensified widened fireball (DC 21), intensified widened fireball (DC 21) 6th—zone of the slowed hourglass (DC 25, see text), zone of the slowed hourglass (DC 25, see text), zone of the slowed hourglass (DC 25, see text) 5th—energy twister (DC 23, see text), energy twister (DC 23, see text), energy twister (DC 23, see text) 4th—greater false life (already cast), intensified fireball (DC 21), intensified fireball (DC 21), intensified fireball (DC 21), magic vestment (already cast), darkvision (already cast) 0th—detect magic, mage hand, mending, message, read magic

Sand Shaper’s Staff Spells (10 charges; CL 16th; concentration +24) 10 charges—zone of the slowed hourglass (DC 25, see text)

STATISTICS

Str 8, Dex 19, Con 16, Int 27, Wis 15, Cha 13 Base Atk +12; CMB +11; CMD 25 Feats Create Construct, Craft Staff, Craft Wondrous Item, Improved Initiative, Intensified Spell, Skill Focus (spellcraft), Spell Focus (transmutation)B, Widen Spell, Quicken Spell Skills Bluff +12, Fly +9, Knowledge (all) +19, Perception +10, Spellcraft +30, Use Magic Device +17 Languages Abyssal, Celestial, Common, Cyclops, Draconic, Elven, Infernal, Sphinx, Terran SQ soul gem telepathy Gear sand shaper’s staff, cloak of resistance +3, headband of vast intelligence +4 (spellcraft, use magic device), spellbook (air step, darkvision, dimension door, greater false life, fireball, magic vestment, slow, trap the soul, all cantrips), gemstone worth 16000 gp (typically hidden somewhere far away)

SPECIAL ABILITIES

Dimensional Slide (Su) 8 times per day, a sand shaper can create a dimensional crack that it can step through to reach another location. This ability is used as part of a move action or withdraw action, allowing the sand shaper to move up to 160 feet to any location it can see. This counts as 5 feet of movement. A sand shaper can only use this ability once per round. A sand shaper does not provoke attacks of opportunity when moving in this way, but any other movement it attempts as part of its move action provokes as normal.

Energy Twister (Sp) As a standard action, as a spell-like ability, a sand shaper can create a twisting tornado of wind and force magic within medium range (typically 260 feet), which occupies a 50 foot high, 10 foot wide pillar. When this spell is cast, and again each round at the start of the sand shaper’s turn, the sand shaper can move the tornado up to 15 feet as a free action, and any creature or object that it passes through must succeed on a Reflex save (typically DC 23) or take 3d6 bludgeoning damage and 2d6 force damage. The tornado lasts for 1 round per caster level (typically 16 rounds).

Additionally, the area of the tornado is treated as an area of dust that grants concealment (20% miss chance), and projectile attacks through the tornado are impossible.

Treat this as a 5th-level evocation spell.

Soul Gem Telepathy (Su) While its soul is trapped within a soul gem (see the Prepared Soulstone ability), a sand shaper can telepathically communicate with creatures within 30 feet of its soul stone.

Spellcasting A sand shaper prepares and casts spells from the wizard spell list, using its Intelligence as its spellcasting ability score. It has an unusual number of spell slots; see the statistics above. It has a spellbook, which functions like a wizard’s spellbook, and without this spellbook it cannot prepare spells except for read magic.

Prepared Soulstone (Su) A sand shaper can prepare and cast trap the soul in place of one of its 8th level spells, but can only cast the spell on itself. When it does so, it functions as the “trigger object” version of trap the soul, except that the trigger is any effect that would kill the sand shaper, rather than touching or receiving a trigger object. When the sand shaper would normally die, whether from damage or any other cause, its soul is instead trapped within the soul gem (typically the gemstone listed in its inventory), preventing its death.

A typical sand shaper has cast this spell long before entering combat, and hidden its soul gem somewhere far away.

Zone of the Slowed Hourglass (Sp) As a standard action, as a spell-like ability, a sand shaper can create a zone within long range (typically 1040 feet) with a 20-foot radius where time is slowed for all creatures and objects except itself. The edges of this zone shimmer as if sand were slowly trickling down them. The zone lasts for 1 round per 2 caster levels (typically 8 rounds).

All creatures except for the sand shaper that are within this area when the spell is cast, or that enter it later, must succeed on a Will saving throw (typically DC 23) or be slowed (as the slow spell) and entangled while within the area. A creature that passes its save is only entangled. A creature makes this saving throw only once per spellcast; if it leaves and re-enters the area, it uses its previous result.

Additionally, any projectile attacks that are fired from or into the area, or that pass through it, move very slowly, and do not connect with their target until 1 round later. If the intended target is no longer in the same space after that time, the projectile automatically misses. If a different target has moved into that space, the projectile attack has a 50% chance of hitting the new target (though the attack roll must still hit the target’s AC as normal).

Treat this as a 6th-level transmutation spell. Spell resistance applies to the effect on creatures, but not to the effect on projectile attacks.

#D&D #pathfinder 1e #humanoid #human #npc #wizard #diablo

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arduousfanfare · 10 months ago

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Thesis Statement: Blizzard wrote itself into a corner with Diablo 4 and are now trying to reconnect the dots to past games/lore.

Spoilers For: Diablo, Daiblo 2, Diablo 3, Diablo Immortal, Diablo 4. Pedantically discussing the larger pieces.

On a personal level what isn't considered spoilers, to me, is facts that are instantly found on any wiki, general lore in the basic of searches. Including game information, art, etc.

For Context: In Diablo 4: Season 3, Season of the Construct is led by Zoltun Kulle. Diablo 4 takes place 50 years after the DLC of Diablo 3: Reaper of Souls. Diablo Immortal is supposed to put the gap between Diablo 2 and Diablo 3. Between Diablo 2 and Diablo 3 it's 20 years. Between Diablo 1 and Diablo 2 it's 2 years.

The Focus: Game World Maps, expanding the world created in December 1996 with every iteration except Diablo 4 can be both good and bad.

The Problem: How each game ends, tying into the world "transformation" but poorly in the sense as with each iteration creates more disconnect.

And now without further ado...

In the beginning there was a town. It was cursed. The NPCS are few and far between but all serve specific purposes as you descend down into the darkness of the blighted church.

The roots heavily inspired by a table top game, Dungeons & Dragons. A lone hero fighitng to defeat the evil that has poisoned them. As the years go on this basic format warps significantly. There is no world map at this point. There is 3 character classes without limitations on what items and skills they can develop. The player can choose what points to invest in their basic stats and skills to invest in as well as some items will provide their own skills.

In Diablo 2 you are in a hodgepodge camp with other survivors. Two look familiar but not exactly. If you do look it up from Diablo 1 the Warrior, Rogue, Sorcerer are Prince Aiden [Becomes the Dark Wonderer and brings the blight of Diablo to the rest of the world], Jazreth [Becomes Diablo 2 Villain the Summoner], and Moreina [Becomes Blood Raven formerly of the Sisterhood of the Sightless Eye]. The town of Tristram has fallen a second time and a familiar face joins the journey through the lands through an ACT structure. That is the only way to orient the world. The world if Procedurally Generated while the Camps is what orient and grounds the player.

The player can choose between multiple classes this go around with more unique basses, skill trees, basic backstories. All NPCs proceed to comment on whatever you choose. Continuing to give purpose in every step as to why the player is here.

Each ACT has a completely different Tileset, with different color enemies of similar statures mixed with new ones to continue to test your mettle against. As you progress it does feel like you are traveling the world.

Lore Point:

The End of Diablo 2: The World Stone is destroyed and exposes Sanctuary more to Heaven and Hell. Wrapping up key stories like the Barbarian Tribes being scattered without purpose after losing the stone.

Everything serves a significant purpose and is extremely detailed.

These trappings are what forms a style that people continue to enjoy today in other games based on this format of using a town to ground the player in the world. Path of Exile taking advantage of this format.

In Diablo 3 you choose your class, you are a traveler who make their way to New Tristram, talk to a Familiar NPC, meet the real Protagonist of the game, retread old enemies and plot points. You do Travel the World, you do have an ACT structure tied to the World Map. You see Sanctuary for what it is. A super continent.

You do get to visit Islands and Heaven/Hell through portals. It all comes together in an established thing.

Lore Point:

Diablo Immortal: Uses the same map and locations as Diablo 3. Continuing to bridge the game between 2 and 3.

The End of Diablo 3: You kill Diablo, trapping him with the other Evils into the Black Soulstone.

The End of Diablo 3; Reaper of Souls: Malthael shatters the Black Soulstone, the 7 Evils are released into the world, the final prophecy of Adria comes true.

Your Player Character is now a retconned child of the Nephalem, you do have a background but again it doesn't play into any significant story beat as you are not the Hero of this story. You are more of a witness.

With all that being said, laid out, established...

[On one hand, this could've been the reset that this franchise needed. This could've been a great leap forward with deepening every piece in a new but familiar space. This could've been Diablo's WoW moment. It hasn't been. This is Diablo Casual.]

In Diablo 4 you are a lost person who tries to weather the storm only to stumble into the cult of Lilith and start the journey to understand her reawakening. Only to find out you're not the Hero of this Story either and you can skip the campaign by making 1 character, get past the cutscene and forget about it. You don't have to play it at all. Which means you can get right into killing demons and getting that sweet loot.

Arguably the actual Campaign is so poorly written and with how it "ends" on a cliffhanger of the real Main Character sailing away... Its mind numbing when the entire game world has been this one significant space and islands dotting around it. Heaven/Hell accessed by Portals but Heaven is silent. Hell is developed a little more interestingly but its not enough.

The Main Antagonist of the game Lilith is devolved into a cartoon villain. There was an opportunity to present these legendary characters into a more moral grey light, possibly adding real rpg components and pushing the story forward in a significant way. None of this happens.

The map is a super continent. Each significant town is a main hub with smaller places spread out. None of the previous locations are mentioned. The character classes are back to basics with only 5 without a knight type. There are distinct tile sets but the enemies are reused/recolored like Diablo 2. There are some enemies who represent classes from Diablo 3, like cultish Zakarum and the monks. But there is no grounding. There is no roots. There is no reason.

Overall the disconnect is surreal. Even more so with "story themes" [in the clinical loosest meaning] being put into Seasons and Zoltun Kulle being hunted for in season 3. It feels out of left field. It could've been tied in better with previous game mentioned Horadrim, deepening how this continent has deep dark roots to previous games. That just like trying to renovate an old house the bones will remember what was lurking there. People have in ancient times rebuilt cities on top of the same points like the city of Troy. Each iteration pancaked on top the next to do in theory better. Building its history.

I understand this is a new game in an established franchise. I understand they wanted to go back to darker, gritty roots that feel more reminiscent of Diablo 1. I understand they took almost every axed feature of Diablo 3 and put it into Diablo 4. Dedicated PvP areas, Paragon Boards, deeper but simpler character creation with builds. Wanting to provide an easier point of entry into this. I understand not everyone really cares about Lore. I understand the first two games were made by essentially the same people/team and then the next two/three games by different people. I understand that even if the original creators had stayed on it wouldn't have made any difference and its just mental conjecture.

I don't understand the why. I can't even figure out if its the execution of these ideas that's bothering me the most or whoever is allowed to write it hasn't put in the work about it. I'm not saying we need the original team back on this because that's a boring argument. I'm saying there is no cohesive structure. No one seemingly at the wheel making these decisions in a significant way that would further the story of this particular game.

It all feels out of left field. Not disappointment. Just disconnected.

Is asking more from a Billion Dollar AAA company too much? Some would say yes. I wouldn't say so. Expectations is a loaded word. Everyone has their own biases and I wouldn't mind a Diablo MMO. But perhaps Blizzard has been clouded too long with WoW. There is so much potential but it continues to feel wasted.

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lisa-and-shadow · 1 year ago

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I cried about Vigo. His storyline and it's ending hit me like a gut punch.

I remember outside the Alabaster Monastery after you've completed the pilgrimage up the Anointed Ascent, you find him kneeling and imploring an unlistening Inarius for redemption of his sins at a shrine. He's so angry. At himself and at a savior that doesn't seem all that interested in saving anyone. He feels forsaken by the Light and wants someone, anyone, to tell him what to do to wipe away his sins (and his guilt and regrets).

When you're battling the enormous demon, Lilith's Lament, on your journey to the Necropolis of the Firstborn you realize eventually that despite everything you've done, all the sacrifices and blessings, this foe is too powerful. And then a literal knight in shining armor appears to aid you. Listed only as "Knight Penitent", he's wearing that horrifying "armor" we saw earlier in Kor Valar. Your relief is tempered by the knowledge that whomever is inside that monstrous creation is being mangled with every movement they make to defend you. And they not only defend you with marshal force, they channel the Light itself to shield you from lethal attacks in a parallel of the way Tyreal defended Lorath from Maltheal. With the knight at your side, you are able claim a victory in your most difficult battle to date. It's only after the demon has been defeated that you pry the Penitent armor open to reveal a mortally wounded Vigo.

His last thoughts were of Neyrelle. Was she safe? (Even he was thinking of her wellbeing. She has that effect on people.) And to return the charm that had spelled his downfall, and potentially the doom of Sanctuary. He wanted to know if this penance, this punishment paid in blood, would be atonement enough for his sins. We, of course, promised him it was. Pointed to a Light neither of us could see and told Vigo he was going to a home for those sinless souls who had been redeemed. He died at peace.

I wore his amulet for a very long time. Partially because I liked the bubble ability, and partially because I got attached to it. I often think about how he was able to channel the Light in that fight. We run across generic knights Penitent as an enemy type and none of them have that ability. They're just melee enemies with a stun. I like to think that's a sign that maybe Vigo really had tapped into something Heavenly within himself. I don't think the armor was enchanted. But I'm not sure. Anyway.

This was my necro Calixa with Vigo.

Vigo's Wealth Charm & Penitent Armor

So Vigo was a gambler, and Lorath calls him "possibly a fool".

The charm that Vhenard gave him (and that we returned to Neyrelle) is a Wealth Charm that increases how much gold you find. Interesting that these charms are not just a game mechanic but canon in the story.

Here's a close up for anyone who might want a reference:

Lorath has only ever heard of this holy armor called the Penitent Armor. He does not have anything good to say about it.

Lorath showing more concern over Neyrelle's health. T__T She's always in his thoughts.

Here's a close up of the Penitent Armor for reference:

Vigo looks so small in it. T_T

#diablo iv #diablo meta #vigo #long post #you activated my trap card by mentioning Vigo #Zoltun Kulle is another character I'll go on about for hours on end 🤡

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creoterative · 1 year ago

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The TWDG x Diablo Collection

Hey guys! Yeah, two posts in a row, and they're huge, wow!

Okay, enough with this xD I'm a little sick at the moment and started to read a few TWDG stories again. You know, it's only a matter of time before I get back into the fandom again, it always is with me. And then I can continue to write Let's play a Game then, with all my heart. Just feels wrong writing it without having my head in the game.

Anyways, remember these funny little shorts I made about Marlon the Demon Hunter and Louis the Scoundrel? Well, I put them all together now!

Have fun and a nice day!

PS: Just so there's no confusion, I changed their names, so here's a list.

Marlon - Demon Hunter (player character)

Louis - Lyndon, the Scoundrel

Brody - Eirena, the Sorceress

Aasim - Kormac, the Templar

Clementine - Leah, niece of Lee

Lee - Deckard Cain

Ms Martin - Myriam

James - Tyrael

Kenny - Haedrig

Katjaa - Mira

Lilly - Magdha

Abel - Cultist

Carver - Zoltun Kull

Minnie - Cydaea

Chuck - Shen

Charlie - Urzael

Clem's mother - Adria (I got lazy, ok)

---

Marlon after picking up an axe: “.... I can’t.”

Me: “What?”

Marlon: “I can’t use it....”

Me: “What do you mean, you can’t use it? It’s an axe, swing it!”

Marlon: “I’m an archer!”

Me: “Do I look like I care? Kill zombies, doesn’t matter how!”

Marlon: “I literally can’t use an axe.”

Me: “Take it, with both hands please, and swing it around.”

Marlon: “.........”

Me: “Okay, fine, use that old, dirty, almost falling apart bow, but don’t you dare gimme a heart attack when you don’t deal as much damage as you should.”

---

Marlon: *passing a random perfectly cooked boar in the middle of the forest*

Me: “....No.”

Marlon: “.....”

Me: “Don’t look at it, it’s probably infected, we are not going back to take a bite, we are not checking if it has any loot, this is definitely a trap- we’re going back, alright.”

---

Marlon:��“What is your uncle searching for?”

Clementine: “He’s trying to find the last pieces of the prophecy, that will show us how to make an end to the prime evil. Urgh, just another one of his many fairytales.”

Me, looking at Marlon, then at my pet devilish plant, that I named Rosie: “...Clem, you are literally standing next to a guy with red dragon wings, glowing eyes and a murderous plant. What do you mean ‘FaIrYtAlEs’???”

---

Ms Martin: “After fighting against the terror in his soul for so long, the King had to go insane, one way or another.”

Marlon: “He’s not the only one... My sister fell to darkness after our parents were slaughtered by the dead.”

Me: “...”

Marlon: “...”

Me: “And then you hit her with the flashlight or what?”

---

Aasim: “I will accompany you on your journey. Under one condition.”

Marlon: “What?”

Aasim: “If we find the old relics and folios of my order, they belong to me.”

Marlon: “Alright, I don’t have any use for books.”

Me: “Yeah, you like to shoot at them, especially the old dusty ones in hopes of finding gold, you maniac. That actually explains quite a lot.”

---

Marlon: “Of course there are three of them.”

Me: “Oh come on, I hate this task... just tell me in which crypt the crown is, damn blacksmith...”

Marlon: “Huh, it’s not in here. Gotta check the other ones.”

Me: “Uh-huh..... yeah..... sure.....”

Marlon: “Figures. It’s not in this one either.”

Me, on the edge to insanity: “WhO wOuLd HaVe GuEsSeD?????”

One insane horde of monsters and zombies later

Marlon: “Ah, there it is.”

Me: “.....Marlon, we went through SO much trouble for a dusty, broken, fucking old crown, I want more enthusiasm, you hear me??? Imagine finding food in the winter for Ericson’s, THAT’S gonna make you happy, right?! Imagine that and project it onto this little worthless piece of crap over there, because I am NOT doing anything like this again!!!”

Marlon: “....”

Me: “....”

Marlon: “....Should head back to Tristram.”

Me: “Yeah, sure.”

---

Louis: “Nice walk we’re doing here.”

Marlon: “We’re not on a walk, we’re fighting for our lives!”

Louis: “Even more reasons to enjoy the view!”

---

Clementine: “Look at this! This must’ve been built before the war of sins!”

Louis: “Oh, I can show you a thing or two about sins.”

Marlon: “Louis, shut up.”

---

Marlon: “Did you grow up as a Templar?”

Aasim: “No. Our sacred scriptures order us to spread out and fight the evil within people, then make them pure again.”

Marlon: “Huh. My initiation ritual was less... formal. I was asked if I want to kill demons and I said yes.”

Me: “...Marlon.... you.... you were twelve or so and severely traumatized.... I-I don’t know if... you really had a choice back there.....”

---

Aasim: “Do you ever feel fear when fighting the unholy creatures?”

Marlon: “If I ever felt it, it was comsumed by my hatred.”

Me: “So that’s why you thought it was a good idea to shoot at that big old door in the crypts, KNOWING that SOMETHING was waiting behind it. Something BIG.”

---

Maghda: “Nevermind! You will never get the second piece!”

Marlon: “Go to hell, witch!”

Me: “Damn, Marlon, wish you would’ve had these balls with Lilly. You know what, Imma call Maghda Lilly now, gotta make up for past mistakes, right?”

---

Louis: “HMMMM, sometimes I have a feeling you don’t really know where you wanna go.”

Marlon, after running towards a dead end in the spider cave for the fifteenth time: “Th-The right way isn’t always clear, you know?”

Louis: “Mhm, sure.”

---

Marlon: “So, where do you come from?”

Louis: “Kingshaven! The city right next to our beloved sea. Full of great treasure and nets with stinky fish.”

Marlon: “I know. What were you doing there?”

Louis: “O-Oh, well, I, uhm, at the moment I’m in a transition phase, you know?”

Marlon: “Nothing honorable, no doubt.”

Louis: “Hey, I’m the most honorable thief you’ll ever meet!”

---

Before Lee’s death

Lee: “The scriptures about the eternal conflict tell us about an old temple, where-”

Marlon: “I’m not interested in books, old man. Tell me where to go and I’ll do what has to be done.”

After Lee’s death

Ms Martin: “You look a little gloomy there. Tell me what old Ms Martin can do to lighten up your mood.”

Marlon, shadows swooshing around him, eyes glowing red: “I’m not in a bad mood. I’m excited for the moment when I kill Maghda and every single member of her godforsaken circle.”

Ms Martin: “Heavens, if that’s what you look like when you’re excited, I don’t wanna be around when you’re angry.”

---

Marlon: “Why do you waste your time lusting after women?”

Louis: “You can’t waste your time with anything better.”

Marlon: “But you let them fall without remorse.”

Louis: “There was only one who would’ve been worth it, but... she’s out of my reach now.”

Marlon: “That’s no excuse for running after every woman we meet.”

Louis: “You’re totally right, sometimes THEY should be running after ME!”

---

Marlon: “Who taught you how to fight?”

Louis: “My older brother. He thought the crossbow was the ideal weapon for me because it gives you time to run away if things go wrong.”

Marlon: “The crossbow is no weapon for cowards.”

Louis: “Nawww, did I insult you?”

Marlon: “Be quiet.”

---

Abel: “He’s unstoppable! No ordinary human could slaughter our brothers like this!”

Lilly: “Then die well! Lord Belial will honor your deaths!”

Abel: “He’s here! Kill him!”

Marlon, busting through the door: “COME AND GET ME, YOU MOTHERFUCKERS!!! GO BACK TO HELL, ALL OF YOU!!!”

Louis: “Damn right, they didn’t even mention me!”

---

Louis: “Do you think I’m her type?”

Marlon: “Whose type?”

Louis: “Your friend, Clementine’s!”

Marlon: “No.”

---

Marlon: “You look a little glum there. What is on your mind?”

Kenny: “Oh, I was just thinking about Katjaa...”

Marlon: “Oh... your wife. I’m sorry about that, but it had to be done. Do you want to talk about her?”

Kenny: “If you would like to listen... Actually, we met here in Caldeum.”

Marlon: “Here? How?”

Kenny: “You won’t believe it, but she was in a cage!”

Marlon: “What, you married a criminal...?”

Kenny: “No! She was accused of having used ancient, forbidden spells!”

Marlon: “You married a WITCH???”

Kenny: “Argh, forget about it.”

Me: “Marlon, you are running around with one, no two, wait, THREE witches yourself, a guy who we all think is some kind of ancient being, a guy who was an ARCHANGEL and a lady who can see the future. And don’t forget the thief!” *Louis waving in the background*

---

Carver: “You and I aren’t that different from each other. I can help you to gain the power of your birthright, the power, to rule the world.”

Marlon: “That’s a bad idea. I can’t fight with someone I don’t trust.”

Me: “....Wait, hold on, if you trusted him, you WOULD do it???”

---

Marlon: “King’s Haven is a great city. Why did you leave?”

Louis: “Oh, the usual, I wanted to see the world!”

Marlon: “Let me guess, you stole something from an important person and got caught.”

Louis: “...yeah....”

---

Minnie: “I hope you didn’t take on too much, little boy.”

Louis: “Hah, never!”

Marlon, back to back with Louis, almost bleeding out: “NEVEEEER!!!”

---

Aasim to Marlon: “Wait. Before we fight this unholy creature... When we first met, I thought you were reckless and eaten up by your own hatred-”

Me: “You weren’t wrong there, buddy.”

---

Ms Martin: “Horrible things happen, even as we speak. I see a city in flames and an old friend, who pays the ultimate price so that the truth can come to light.”

Marlon: “That sounds familiar....”

Ms Martin: “Oh, you can see the future too?”

Marlon: “No, I - forget it...”

Me: “....No, please do elaborate, what the fuck did you accidentally activate this time?”

---

James: “I called these holy heavens my home... To see it in shambles like this, it pains me more than the endless battles we fought day by day against the dark armies of hell.”

Louis: “Oh, with a bit of demon blood and ashes scattered across the floor, they’ll look just fine, don’t worry!”

Marlon: “Louis, if you don’t shut up, I’ll throw you back to earth.”

---

Louis: "Westmarch is just one big disaster. I need a drink. Or five."

Marlon: "Wait until we're done saving the city."

Louis: "But you're always taking so long!"

---

Louis: "Sometimes I can't tell which one of our friends is the most insufferable. Kenny is always miserable and Chuck eats like a boar. Somehow, you seem to be the normal guy in the group."

Marlon, thinking about his cruel, dark, traumatizing past: "....I'm sorry, what?"

---

Marlon, to a villager: "Leave that necromancy stuff, you hear me?!"

Louis: "You're one to talk."

Marlon, offended: "Hey, shadowmagic is totally different!"

---

Charlie: "But what I saw were humans. Lots of them. They kill, they sin, they enjoy the bloodshed they cause. And they always choose violence."

Louis: "And sometimes we live, laugh and love. Hell, some of us even marry."

---

Louis: "Do you think our journey still has a purpose?"

Marlon: "What purpose could be greater than fighting the personification of Death itself?"

Louis: "Oh, I dunno, a nice evening in a bar with friends that don't die in the end?"

---

Louis: "I wonder where all the Nephalim went that lived in this city."

Marlon: "You can see those bones on the ground, right?"

---

Marlon: "Why didn't they send reinforcements from Bramwell or Kingshaven?"

Commander: "Didn't you know? The maidens are attacking every single city from here to Caldeum."

Marlon: "Oh..."

Louis, slightly panicking: "That's all you gotta say?! OH???"

---

Louis: "Leave me alone..."

Marlon: "Stop drowning yourself in liquor. It won't bring your brother back. You should bring that knife to Kenny and find out who killed him."

Louis: "I already know that, it was the goddamn clan of thieves...."

Marlon: "That's only a guess. And that can be dangerous."

Louis: "Listening to you is dangerous!"

---

Clem's mother: "She... has a good heart, my daughter."

Marlon: "What, you didn't want that?"

Clem's mother: "A good heart doesn't help us in these difficult times."

Marlon, looking over his shoulder:

Louis in the background, playing with a little meat golem that he found in the woods

Marlon, looking back at Clem's mother: "That guy over there is still alive and helpful as ever."

Louis: "Hey Marlon! It can give a high-five!"

Marlon: "....Mostly helpful."

---

Marlon: "Only the dead smell this bad. The fallen star has to be close."

Louis: "Funny, I thought that smell came from you."

---

Marlon: "Old Tristram... Diablo's essence still haunts this place, even after all these years."

Louis: "Was it the never ending darkness or the dead people walking around that made you guess that?"

---

Aasim: "How did I not see how corrupt my order is?"

Louis: "We all make mistakes. You just make some more."

Marlon: *elbows him in the gut*

---

Marlon: "Our enemies keep coming, no matter how many of them we kill..."

Louis: "What, are you getting tired?"

Marlon: "Never. I'll kill them all, whatever it takes."

Louis: "Geez, always so serious."

---

Louis: "Pretty aggressive foliage here, hm?"

Marlon, dangling from a few living vines: "Oh, how ever did you guess that?!"

---

Louis: "You know, I'm known as a real philanderer back in King's Haven."

Marlon: "I couldn't care less, Lou. It's not important right now."

Louis: "Of course it is! Women get wild in the apocalypse!"

Marlon: "Sometimes I regret agreeing to your company."

Me: "And the fact that Louis has never touched a woman in his life makes this even more ridiculous."

---

*Marlon and Louis saving a poor peasant from a horde of monsters*

Peasant: "Thank you so much! My wife and I thought we'd be dead for sure!"

Marlon: "You're safe now, no need to be scared."

Peasant: "Please, come with me, my wife wants to thank you too!"

Louis: "You're wife, you say?"

Marlon: *shooting him an annoyed look*

Peasant: "Here, my darling, the two brave men who saved us!"

Marlon: "..."

Louis: "....Are you... seeing what I'm seeing...?"

Marlon: "That is no longer your wife."

Peasant: "She hasn't eaten very much in the past few days, but I still love her!"

Marlon: "Sometimes, love is to let go."

*the woman's head falls off*

Peasant: "Oh, she fell asleep..."

Louis: "If I ever fall asleep that way, throw me to the pigs, it's long overdue."

---

Marlon: "Would you ever robb a grave?"

Louis: "Well, is it really robbing, when the person it belonged to doesn't have any use for it?"

Marlon: *shocked gasp*

Me: "Hold on, mister. We've been running around in this game for months now and you never questioned it when I made you loot a corpse or two or seven at once. You literally broke into so many crypts, I've lost count. And NOW you're wondering if that's a good idea? It never was, no doubt, we got into more trouble than we would've if we'd just let them lay there. But boy, your moral compass is a roulette wheel, if I've ever seen one."

---

Clementine: "We're not that different, you and I. The only difference is, that I can't control my power."

Louis: "Clem, Marlon wears a mullet, I'm not sure if he's able to get properly dressed in the morning."

Marlon: "I'm standing right next to you, you know?"

---

Louis: "So, those are the Halls of Agony. What a charming place."

Marlon: "I hope that was irony."

Louis, sarcastically: "Whaaat, no, I love being impaled by an iron maiden or getting burned by some crazy cultist, that's my favorite thing on saturdays!"

---

Brody: "That man you are traveling with, he has the same aura as a Seraph!"

Marlon: "James. Yeah, he fell from heaven to help us save the world."

Brody: "You are truly blessed with your comrades."

Marlon, looking at Louis: "I am?"

---

Louis: "Treasure might be the finest thing in the world. There's nothing like it!"

Marlon: "You're always talking, aren't you?"

Louis: "It's one of my better qualities."

---

Louis: "I can get you a better bow if you'd like, Clemmy."

Clementine: "By stealing it?"

Louis: "Does it matter?"

Marlon: "Of course it does."

Louis: "How strange."

---

Louis: "What is your deepest wish?"

Aasim: "To serve my order valorously."

Louis: "Oh."

Aasim: "You sound disappointed."

Louis: "My wish is to be incredibly wealthy and surrounded by beautiful women. Yours is simply lacking by comparison."

---

Alright, that was it! Hope y'all like it and have a nice day!

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