#ZenBillyalla

[zenmom]

I wonder how BD Zenmom’s passing’s impact goes for the affected party:

I can think that Oswald would be doing less pranks. Mickey more easily stressed than before. Donald… more scared, paranoid idk 🤷🏻‍♀️. Goofy…

Darn it I forgot his hat

And then there’s my sister. I’ve never really gone into details about ZenBillyalla until now. She was there with me AND for me ever since her creation. To suddenly have a sister die is the death for her too, as she relies on my existence to exist. She strangely is still alive for some reason, but to have her telepathy cut off from me the day I was killed was The Snap for her. She became very withdrawn in and was no longer seen in the restaurant she usually works in to keep us both afloat in our house we rented. She seems to rely on emergency funding as of that day and wishes to sleep a lot to escape.

[zenmom]

I’m excited for the Backup Detectives Memories Arc! Someone new (well, not new since she’s been around for 6 or 7 years but I haven’t fully introduced her) will take over my job.

This the Epic Mickey counterpart lol, but you get the rough idea of what she looks like.

[zenmom]

This is our trick or treat costumes. We used these custom baskets that goes with our themes for some candy.

And this is what happened for why I’ve no time to colour Bill’s costume. It’s actually 10:12

[zenmom]

I was laughing ridiculously at the thought of normal-looking pastries with cockroaches in it (by itself as an ingredient, mind you) and imagine the chaos as every toon who had unfortunately taken a bite out of these pastries to see a part of the cockroach in it will scream in terror and fires will spread along with it!😂😂💀 And I will be the only one sitting at the table, laughing at all of this chaos I created from such a prank like this.

Alternate idea is thinking of Oswald’s reaction to having a bite of this - pasterie? - and then starts screaming in Mickey Mouse’s voice like “aahhhhhhhh! Who put a f###ing cockroach in my croissant?! Are those f###ing things in others too?!?!” And I started laughing bc of that.

[zenmom]

Meet my Imaginary Twin Sister! Who never left my side!

Yes, her full name is ZenBillyalla (a pronunciation atrocity!) and I’ve created her….in…. . . Uhh 2015, 16? Maybe somewhere between there (Zenmesis came later in 2016) and she is like a in some ways colour inverted (I like blue, she likes red). While my hair is dark brown with a few singular lonely strands of red, hers is the opposite, with near flaming red hair with lonely strand of dark brown (fun fact: my granny is a redhead… or was she ginger? I don’t know if she’s got any photos of her in her youth)

Her personality is similar to mine but she takes things more seriously. She was my playmate and the stick-around sisters who often comes on adventures with me (most of the adventures occur in my head, so I don’t really get into trouble except for daydreaming) and due to me creating her for that purpose, she has consequently telepathy to my head and has access to all my memories and thoughts and fears that are available from the same date as her creation. An exception is that she does not know who my family is and all she knows of a family is me and my fictional friends🥲.

She usually knows the situations I’m in and would either try to help or not, depending on what I did that has outcomes to that. And yes, she won’t be able to help if she is in another place away from me. We both have the same magic (headspace imagination rules!). She can take care of herself though she relies on my living existence to keep living. If my brain is dead or everything got wiped, she dies😨.

In the Backup Detectives AU: When we arrived in town, Bill went to look for a job and found it at a restaurant as a chef. The manager is kind enough to send us emergency food in times of difficulty. She knows everything that’s going on in my head while at work (sure that’s creepy but I find it normal, she’s my sister after all) and will comfort me at home. I’m not sure what food they sell at that restaurant but sushi’s out of the question 🥲🥲

[zenmom]

ZenBillyalla came into my room while I was reading a book.

Simply put, this book that she was talking about was the one that has my childhood drawings in it, from when I was 11 and it was done in a time series of a few years. Its detail is that the front cover and a few pages is ripped off, showing the first drawing and exposing it to weathering. Yes, it WAS thrown into the toilet by my brother when I teased him. My sister knows that, the only fact.

Well yes, I’ve no idea what happened to it but when I was cleaning my room one particular day some time ago, I was wondering what to do with the old drawing books. I wished I’ve put it in a safer container as I’ve no idea what happened to it. I would obviously not throw it way, but I might have as my mind had a particular thought at that time.

As to answer your question why she’s asking about it, my imaginary twin sister was created a good time ago, meaning she knows the history of me and that particular character. She knows that I held a childhood grudge against him. That I never would mention his name and if someone mentioned his name, I get a slight bit uncomfortable and act as if I don’t know who he is. Why is she so interested in looking at the memories I made in the past? Was it all because I reviewed a game? “Yes, all because you reviewed that game” Bill replied. “You came up with the concept that cuz I’m imaginary that we share the same memories from the day I was created. Therefore, we have similarities in mind.”

[zenmom]

Happy Belated Birthday, Thinner Queen!

This masterpiece is inspired by the villain song Fall little Wendy Bird Fall, a Tinkerbell Villain song that I first heard on YouTube.

By the way her birthday’s on the 25th September. So here, this is Thinner Queen trying to get her revenge on the girl who took the spotlight from her and prevent the red-haired cat from becoming friends with that girl, and you can see the many forms I’ve taken from the worlds I’ve been to over the years.

Believe it or not, Ly Zeroni was the first ever form I’ve ever taken on in the world I used to play in, as that is the world where I used to love playing as that hero. When I heard about that hero’s newest game at the time, I was estatic that I get to play a new game featuring him, but that enthusiasm was crushed when I bumped into the portal, realising that I don’t have access to it. This crushed me, with betrayal brewing about. It was enough to lock that world forever and never interact with him ever again.

Over the years, I’ve discovered new worlds, evident by those forms here, from Blue Spinel of Steven Universe, to Houseki no Kuni’s Blue Spinel, to Fnf Wednesday’s infidelity, to Cuphead’s Brown Sugar and finally, Toon me and the Backup Detectives counterpart where I was choked to death by Thinner Queen.

What thinner Queen actually was looking at is a photo of me and my imaginary twin, ZenBillyalla, who was created to be my adventure companion where she played a great and noble role till last year. Bill was created because I had a hard time creating friends as seen by my young self.

[zenmom]

Happy Birthday Oswald! I firstly wanted to make this digital, but knowing myself (or probably to much to do in a short amount of time) decided to leave this as it is. Well, You’re 96 years ooolllldddd! I inevitably gave him the cake of gluttony which, either I’m too lazy to deal with the consequences or just plain wanted to see what happens from my mischief. Yeah ZenBillyalla called out that I’m giving him THAT cake. Whoopsies

Edit: here is the lazy adjustment to this photo as I realised I forgot one touch:

[zenmom]

Something funny that happened in my head yesterday.

[zenmom]

Enjoy this lmao!

[zenmom]

So much to post!

This is my toon hearing devices. Umm…. it’s kinda embarrassing. Kinda wished I said something about this at the start of my tumblr days😖🤦🏻‍♀️ well, yeah, I’m profoundly deaf. (I only have a tiny percentage of hearing). So yeah, those holes are hardly noticeable in full color, but you’ll know it’s there, even when I just do my sketches and pencil drawings. I decided to model my hearing charging station in a style similar to Oswald’s rabbit ear-caps, with a battery fullness indicator.

Something every girl and woman go through that girls (and women) only understand.(probably men too, but the females gets the full experience for free at the price of their emotions and wellbeing). [ I hope you can get what I’m saying here]

Me on the left, not ready to go through that week of school before my holidays came. On the right is Fanny cottontail serving me an amount that is too large for main toons (that may probs be Mickey Mouse, Oswald the Lucky Rabbit (if you’re going to look at his story and his perspectives)) and their friends. The reason is because she often has Big Pete coming to her house for some afternoon tea. More on that Cottontail story arc later.

Thank you @starclodd for reminding me of this sad event of Steven Universe (show series). I don’t know if I’m still in denial or in acceptance or still in any stage of grief.

And lastly, getting my brother to play this game with me on that day was…. 😞😔😩

[zenmom]

Guess who’s on Netflix?! Yep! Our favorite Mr Bean actor!

And I found cursed photos (presumably from my brother’s phone or my mom’s phone) which is also funny.

And created a new page for the drawings of Toon me. I took a photo of this one in the middle of me and my nemesis, Zenmeisis, rapping against each other.

[zenmom]

By the way, that’s my imaginary twin sis holding her trademark fringe(bangs) down to avoid being detected and holding both hearing processors in her hand. I don’t know how to make her look more like me.

[zenmom]

I’ve made a minor update on my drawings of me as a rabbit toon in Osworld. If you’re still confused with this one, I’ve had this concept idea in my mind that I drew myself as a cat before entering Oswald’s world and by unfortunate luck, I’m a rabbit while my imaginary twin sister gets to be what I was aiming to look like. My favorite part is probs the expressions of her being like “gulp’ uh oh’😰 and her terrifyingly startled face when I attacked her.

When I saw Oswald, the eyes turned into fans with a heart in the middle (to show that I’m a fan of Oswald),… but this just looks absolutely terrifying… not the picture I had in mind (my writing: oh god it looks like pibbified version of me in Osworld). To be honest, that’s what I thought of that when I looked at what I’ve just drawn there.

[zenmom]

Why does dark lavender spinel hate blue spinel?

In my general, these Spinel represents us.

This is ZenBillyalla, my imaginary twin sister (red hair)

And Zenmeisis, my imaginary enemy. (She was created to give more drama and make events that happen around my perspective more lively and take more action)

And they DO have origins, though it’s not the time right now. I will tell ya in the future

[zenmom]

I’m sorry, but due to that the event took sooooo long, I have to post it on Sunday next weekend. And I haven’t finished the comic which is just too bad.😢😢😢 (monotonously, and bored) yaaay😒another week of school to get though. I can’t wait for my depression to come and then become worse and be so much worse that I feel like I don’t want to live anymore.