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hami-gua · 23 days ago

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生生世世

Love between an immortal and mortal is forbidden by the heavenly law. By loving a mortal, the immortal pays a price. Dan Heng, rather, his past incarnations are no exceptions to this law.

This work contains both English and Chinese (translation provided). Apologies in advance if the Chinese dialogues aren't great. Something may be incorrect or inaccurate, all for the sake of the plot.

Reader has a given nickname and last name but not first name.

[This work is also on AO3 and more polished there, as it is in chapter format.]

Dan Heng x f! Reader

A man approaches the altar that held a glowing stone. Confused, he turned to another man beside him.

“What is this?”

“This is a stone that held your memories from your previous two lives.”

“And why do you insist that I use it?”

“I believe it’s time you find out yourself, Dan Heng.”

The man, Dan Heng, looked at his “partner” with an eyebrow raised. Trusting him, Dan Heng reaches out to the stone and picks it up. After a few seconds, he begins to feel an oncoming headache and steadies himself on the altar. Yet the effort is deemed futile as he soon blacks out.

The first time he met her in this life, was when he assumed a name, Yubie. She had been selling flowers, calling out to any and all souls that happened to pass by. A certain flower had caught Yubie’s attention. Being a minor god living in the moon palace, he had never seen such a flower before. And before he knew it, he had picked up the flower and began to inspect it.

“先生，您看上了这朵花了吗？“ [Sir, is this the flower you choose?]

Yubie, a tad embarrassed and shy, merely nodded. The girl only smiled back gently, the gentle dulled pinks and purples of her robe brushed against the cart as she reached for others of the same kind, bundling them and checking the pot they were held in.

“先生若有什么需求，可以叫我一声！“ [If sir has any needs, you only need to call me!]

“嗯，知道了。谢谢，姑娘。” [En. Understood. Thank you, young girl.]

“哎呀，应该的！” [Aiya, it’s what I should do!]

Yubie blushed as his eyes grazed through the other different flowers. His eyes lands on a peony, leading him to think about Jing Yuan. The general hardly ever visits the moon palace anymore, but when he does, it’s always a pleasant surprise. He’s due to visit soon, but Yubie couldn’t think of a gift to give. Picking up the flower, Yubie calls for the flower girl.

“就这两个，谢谢。“ [Just these two, thanks.] Yubie cleared his throat awkwardly, handing the two flowers to the girl.

“一颗银子。“ [One piece of silver.]

Yubie’s eyebrows raised in surprise, having not expected the price.

“一颗？为何要怎么少？“ [A piece? Why do you ask for that less?]

The girl replied back without even a thought, “因为不管有多少钱，想要有花就可以有花。再说了，卖花只是我的爱好。“ [Because it doesn’t matter how much money you have, if a flower is what you want, then you get a flower. Besides, selling flowers is just a hobby I have.]

“爱好？“ [Hobby?]

“嗯！“ [Yeah!]

“什么是爱好？“ [What’s a hobby?]

The girl’s jaws drop open. Never had she ever heard of someone not knowing what a hobby is.

“爱好就是喜欢做什么就做。比如，有些人喜欢看书，唱歌等。您呢？“ [A hobby is something you like to do. Like, some people like reading, others singing and so on. You?]

“我。。。我没有，“ [I… I don’t have one.] Yubie trailed off, his cheeks flushing in embarrassment.

“啊？！真假的？像您这样的人，没有爱好还挺乖的嘞！“ [Ah?! Really? Those like you not having a hobby is quite odd!]

“像我这样的人？“ [Those like me?]

“嗯！就是有钱的人。“ [Yeah! Like wealthy.]

“哦。。。“ [Oh…]

Learning of selling flowers as a hobby, he debated whether or not to ask about her true line of work. Deciding to just go for it, Yubie asks, “请问姑娘，您。。。是做什么的？“ [Young girl, what… do you do for a living?]

The girl looks at him for a split second before pulling out a find pressed silk threads that forms the shape of a flower. Orange blossoms to be exact.

“我是做各种各样的簪子。不过随着有些人的需求，其它头饰也可以。“ [I make all kinds of hair sticks. Though, through some customer’s needs, I can also make other head accessories.]

Yubie observes the hair stick, eyes glimmering at how well made it is. But their conversations is cut short when the distant bell tower chimes, signaling the time. The girl looks up and takes a note of the sun’s position with a gasp.

“抱歉先生，看来我该回家了,” [Sorry sir, it seems like I have to go home.] The girl quickly said as she rushes to pack everything up. Yubie could do nothing but awkwardly stand to the side, watching. As the girl began pulling the cart away, Yubie stops her.

“哪个，姑娘，您的名字。。。“ [Um，young girl. Your name…]

The girl turned towards him with a shy smile, “啊。。。我姓李，叫__。不过叫我棉棉就行啦！您呢？“ [Ah… Last name’s Li, first name __. But calling me Mian Mian will do! You?]

“雨别。“ [Yubie]

“雨别。。。好优雅。很适合您，” [Yubie… so elegant. It suits you.] the girl smiled, sending poor Yubie’s heart sputtering.

“实在是不好意思，雨先生。我真的得回家了。“ [So sorry, Yu sir. I really must get home.] The girl bowed before pulling her cart away as Yubie simply stood there, watching as her form got smaller and smaller. He too turns and leaves after.

————————————————————————————

The next time he sees her was when a village had been faced with a terrible fire. After saving her, he was told that the nation has been threatened by a foreign unknown source. Not a villager had a clue where they came from. But all describe the forces as wearing all black with specks of gold, almost like liquid gold.

“雨先生——“ [Yu sir—]

“雨别就行了。“ [Yubie will do.]

“雨别，他们是谁啊？我从没见过他们那样的人。“ [Yubie, who are they? I’ve never seen people like them before.]

Yubie was silent, unsure if he should tell her. Yet his consciousness ruled that if she doesn’t know, she’ll be more likely to run into trouble.

“他们不是人。“ [They aren’t human.]

The girl looked back at him, shocked.

“不是人？” [Not human?]

“按理说，他们原来是人。” [Logically speaking, they were human once.]

“原来。。。那发生了什么？他们现在为何不是人了呢？” [Originally… then what happened? Why aren’t they human now?]

“魔阴。” [Mara.]

“魔阴是什么？” [What’s mara.]

“一种能让人变成魔妖的病。” [A disease that turns humans into demonic beings.]

“怎么可怕！那我们该如何打败他们啊？” [That’s tarrying! Then how do we defeat them?]

Yubie smiles at her and reaches up to pat her head. The girl in turn didn’t seem to mind, rather, she leans into him. His arm then slowly lowers to her elbows as he tightened his hold around her.

“这是神仙们的战争。咱们就把这个留给他们吧。” [This is a battle for immortals and gods. We just leave these to them.]

The girl smiled, leaning further into Yubie. The two sat in silence, gazing out into the setting sun.

“雨别？“ [Yubie?]

“嗯？“ [Yeah?]

“你喜欢哪个神仙呀？“ [Who’s your favorite immortals and gods?]

Yubie sat there, unsure what to answer. Afraid that if he does, he’ll be giving his identity away.

“我不知道。喜欢的神仙们太多了，” [I don’t know. I like a lot of them.] He gave a half true answer, “你呢？“ [You?]

“饮月君！” [Imbibitor Lunae!]

Her answer took Yubie by surprise. Fighting an intense blush from rising, he looks at her, fully interested in her answer and yearns for a reason.

“你为何要选饮月君？“ [Why must you choose Imbibitor Lunae?] He asked, his heart beats erratically.

“他可是青龙。又聪明又疼人。再说，他是一条龙! 龙还挺可爱的呢。“ [He’s the green dragon. Smart and caring towards humans. And he’s a dragon! Dragons are quite cute.]

With every word she spoke, the redder Yubie’s face and ears became. After, the girl takes notice of his reddening ears and teasingly asks him, “诶呀，耳朵怎么都红啦？” [Aiya, why are your ears read?]

Yubie’s eyes began blinking rapidly as he quickly turns his head away from her. “难道。。。你。。。” [Could it be… you…] The girl trailed off, making Yubie panic as he started to believe that she’s going to figure out his true identity.

“你也很喜欢银月君！” [You also really like Imbibitor Lunae!]

Yubie breathed out a sigh of relief as he nodded shyly to her words. Safe for another day, he thought. And just like that, the two began telling each other of their past. Yubie, making his as vague as he can.

————————————————————————————————

The third time Yubie saw her, was also his last time seeing her. An intense battle had broken out within the nation. Phantylia and her forces made a move on the girl’s village. Anxiety gripped Yubie’s heart as he rushed there. Yet when he arrived, not a mara-struck soldier could be spotted. None that was living anyways.

Running through the street, he called out for any survivors. Not getting an answer, he sent his force to dig through rubble. He himself though, began running around, calling for the girl. Yet his call once again remains unanswered. It wasn’t until he was on the verge of giving up, did he see flowers scattered behind a particularly large rubble. Yubie’s heart picked up as he rushed behind it, only to have his hopes shattered when he saw the state the girl was in. Carefully, he picked her up and automatically felt the blood trickling onto his hand. Her chest had been pierced by a sword as her head had crashed onto something, leading her temple to bleed profusely.

Plip. Plop. Tears fell onto the girl’s cold skin as Yubie held onto her cold dead hands tightly. He cradles her close to him as he cried, his heart sinking in never-ending despair. ‘Is this what heart break feels like? I never got to tell her…‘

For all the light and hope she gave him, Yubie could only repay with a kiss to her forehead and a love confessed too late.

I’m sorry I couldn’t get to you soon enough.

The first time he met her in his next life was when he went by Dan Feng. She had entered the inn where he was at with attendants by her side. He was in the middle of a conversation with Yingxing when he heard a commotion at a table in the corner. It caught the pair’s attention as they both turned to see a man close to their age in appearance, harassing the girl. She continued drinking her tea as the man and her attendant argued.

“I’ll say, you need to properly teach your attendants!” The man snarled.

“Sir, do you not have manners?”

“You! How are you speaking to me huh?! I’m a young master! Young master!”

“Who cares if you’re a young master or not. You can’t even recognize her highness, so are you really a young master?”

“You!” The man raises a hand to hit the attendant.

Unable to watch or listen any further, Dan Feng gets out of his seat and walks towards the man.

“Enough!”

The man stops and glares at Dan Feng as the girl glances up from her cup.

“And who are you?!”

Dan Feng doesn’t answer him. Instead, he states, “You are aware that hitting any servant of a princess is strictly forbidden.”

The man scoffs once more before walking out of the inn. The attendant bows to him as he held her arms, telling her there was no need.

“感谢公子。“ [Thank you, childe.]

“不必。他刚才为何生气？” [No need. Why was he mad?]

The attendant looks at Dan Feng before looking at the girl then back to him again.

“Well…”

The attendant is cut off as the girl sets down her cup.

“他想追求我。我没同意。“ [He asked for my hand. I didn’t agree.]

The attendant looked at her shocked by her ease of language.

“公主！可不能怎么随意说出！万一。。。“ [Princess! You can’t just say that so casually! What if…]

The girl sighs as Yingxing approaches the group. She slowly stands with the help of her other attendants.

“It’s okay. At this time, long story short is the way to go. It saves time. Anyone can charge in at any given moment and attack.”

The girl faces Dan Feng properly before giving a slight bow, her head never once lowering.

“感谢公子帮了我。“ [Thank you for helping me, childe.]

“It is something I should do,” he bows back, head lowered.

The girl gives him a small smile before turning and leaving the inn with a small limp. Dan Feng watches her leave; a tug of familiarity was felt as Yingxing clears his throat.

“Why didn’t you ask for her name?”

Dan Feng shoots him a look, “人家是公主，不礼貌。“ [She’s a princess, it’s ill-mannered.]

Yingxing smirks in return, “人家是公主，我们是神。” [She’s a princess, we are gods.]

Dan Feng could only tsk as he whacks Yingxing’s arm while glancing around to ensure that no one heard.

“Are you trying to expose us?” He hissed.

A giggle from Yingxing was all Dan Feng got.

————————————————————————————————————

The next time he saw her was when he was invited to court. Or rather, Yingxing did and he decided to bring Dan Feng along. While Yingxing was locked in discussion with the emperor, Dan Feng wandered around the gardens as he heard a gentle zither playing. Following the sound, he finds the girl sitting at peace as her fingers plucked the silken strings. As if sensing him, she stops playing and turned towards his direction.

“何人？“ [Who is it?]

Dan Feng steps out from behind the bamboo trunk as he gracefully made his way towards her.

“Princess’ playing is rather elegant. It holds much clarity.”

The girl blushed before lowering her gaze to her zither as her hand gently runs up and down the strings.

“Why have you entered the palace today?”

“Ah, may princess forgive me. I came with a friend who is currently in a meeting with the emperor. I am not summoned; this I wander about.”

The girl merely smiles and invites him to tea as she played and chatted. And there it was, the feeling Dan Feng couldn’t shake off. That feeling of familiarity gnaws at his heart. Her eyes held that same mirth and her voice contains a much gentler lilt than he “remembers”. Sensing him spacing off, the girl asked, “Is there something wrong?”

Quickly trying to find an excuse, Dan Feng asked her, “Princess, what is your name?”

The girl smiled shyly before answering, “Li __. But those I know call me Mian Mian.”

’It’s that nickname again. Mian Mian.‘

“You asked for my name, so it is only fair I ask for yours.”

Dan Feng looks up at her with surprise, “Dan Feng.”

“Dan Feng… It’s an elegant name.”

“I — thank you, princess.”

The girl shifted, revealing a scarred leg. Her face briefly twists in pain noticed by Dan Feng. Seeing her leg, Dan Feng questioned her.

“What… happened to your leg.”

The girl places a hand on her leg, as if to cover it. She mulls over her words before saying, “It happened when I was young. An unwatched dog had gotten to me as I was playing. It bit me and wouldn’t let go until my sister had hit it with a branch while crying in fear. After investigating, my father found the dog belonged to a minister. The dog, turned out, bit more people. Mostly servants. So, every time they thought to tell, they were pressured by the minister to keep quiet. The minister wanted me gone so he could easily rise the ranks.”

“Why does he want you gone?”

“It probably has to do with me rejecting a marriage proposal.”

“With his son?”

The girl nodded.

“He wanted to ascend the ranks by having his son marry me. But I rejected the offer. His son is 15 years older, thus I can’t imagine the two of us spending a long life together.”

“Was your father upset at all?”

“No. He’s quite elated to be honest. Father was always eager to marry off his sons, but when it came to marrying off his daughters, he’s always the first to reject all suitors. At least, that’s what my brother tells me.”

“What became of the minister?”

“He was banished. Simple as that.”

“At least you’re safe now.”

The girl huffed, “This is a court. I only happen to live here. So how safe can it be?”

Dan Feng looked at her confused. Not fully grasping what she meant.

Months goes by. Dan Feng exchanges letter with the girl regularly. It went from mundane to adventurous, to rants. Until one day, he received a letter asking him to arrive at court for a celebration. Her birthday, he thought. A problem quickly presented itself: the girl’s birthday is coming up, and Dan Feng had no clue what to gift her. Perhaps a pearl will do. But that’s too plain. How about a bracelet? But she plays a zither, the bracelet will only get in the way.

’“This is a court. I only happen to live here. So how safe can it be?”‘

Her words echoed in his mind. The girl wears hair sticks a lot, so surely a hair stick concealing a small blade will easily go undetected. He nodded to himself. Yes. Surely this will work.

When the day of celebration came about, Dan Feng nervously fidgeted with the box that held the hair stick. Yingxing noticed his friend’s unusual behavior and gently nudged him. “Why are you so nervous?”

“What if she won’t like it?”

Yingxing rolled his eyes, “I don’t know if you’re aware, but she’s not known for her openness. For her to write to you regularly means she sees you as someone close. Someone trustworthy.”

Dan Feng looks at him deadpanned, “说人话。” [Speak human language.]

"Point is, she'll like it. It did come frome someone she trusts."

Dan Feng relaxes a bit as people filed into the castle then stopped before the girl to give her their well wishes. And before he knew it, he found himself standing before the girl. There she sat, in finely woven robes as Dan Feng knelt and held out the box with two hands.

“This is a hair stick I have made myself,” he states as a servant takes the box and presents it to the girl. She gingerly runs a finger over the hair stick, admiring the intricate etches.

“I hope the hair stick serves you well, in times of need of protection.”

“Thank you, Dan Feng.”

He bows before taking his leave as his heart yearns to glance at her once more. The feast commences, with servants bringing up various kinds of food. Throughout the night, Dan Feng kept glancing at her, only to look away when she looks towards him. Yingxing kept teasing him as his face flushed. It wasn’t until the banquet concludes does Dan Feng pulls Yingxing aside, ensuring they aren’t followed or eavesdropped on.

“What? Why are we in a secluded corner?” Yingxing asked confused.

“Yingxing… I think… I—” Dan Feng pauses, finding words to continue on.

“You what? Come on spit it out! We need to leave before we become seen as suspicious!”

“I think I fancy Mian Mian,” Dan Feng said quickly as his gaze falls in embarrassment.

Yingxing’s eyes widen with shock. In his life of knowing Dan Feng, never had his friend been so forward. Without a word, Yingxing dragged Dan Feng with him as the two made their way towards their carriage. Upon lifting the veil, he ushers Dan Feng on before entering the carriage himself. Sitting down, Yingxing hissed, “别忘了，我们是神仙。“ [Don’t forget, we are gods.]

Dan Feng only nods as his eyebrows furrow with confusion. Yingxing sighs through his nose and rolled his eyes at his friend’s expression.

“We are gods. Immortals. We can’t love mortals in a romantic sense even if we wanted to. You know the punishment that will befall us if we are caught in a romantic relationship with a mortal.”

“But I’m not immortal. I die and reform a new.”

“Yes to immortals, you perish easily. But to mortals, you are immortal in every sense. You retain your immortal name and your power after rebirth. That to a mortal still are signs of immortality.”

Dan Feng looks away, finding no words to refute Yingxing’s. He knows the punishment better than anyone, a past incarnation having gone through forced rebirth after slaying denizens of abundance and sealing Phantylia — had been found to harbor romantic feelings for a mortal. All Dan Feng learned was the mortal had already died, and did a favor for the other gods, this his sentencing was only forced rebirth instead of stripping his status along with it.

“Then… what do I do, Yingxing?”

Yingxing sat back in thought before answering, “What you do is up to you. You can choose to distance yourself or continue as her friend and bury your feelings for her.”

Dan Feng only nods, gaze seemingly absent.

——————————————————————————————————

Two months passed as Dan Feng finds himself walking through the snow-covered winter grounds with the girl. The two chat amongst themselves as they slowly made their way towards the library. Both mentioned a liking towards the history and romantic literature. Finding his own collections low, he wrote to the girl, asking if he could read a few selections in the library, to which she agreed.

“藏书楼到了！” [We’ve arrived at the library!]

Before them stood a tall rounded tower with blackened roof and red columns with white walls. A style very reminiscent of the earlier century. Walking up to the two tall doors, the girl pushes it open with a huff as it slowly creaks open. The hall is silent, save for the clacking of the girl’s clogs and brushing of brocaded silks. The two went separate ways, browsing different scrolls and books then finding a place to sit as they read. The days passed like this until the girl had asked him to meet in the garden of her palace for supper.

As Dan Feng walked to her gate, it opened showing a young maid who took one look at him before inviting him in and leading him to the part of the garden where the girl waited. As he sat down, the girl spoke, “Have you heard? The denizens of abundance are on the move.” He looked at her with surprise.

“How long have you known about the denizens of abundance?”

“Ever since I turned 15. There was no way for people to not notice them any longer.”

Dan Feng remains silent, letting the girl rant.

“For as long as I have known, we’ve always been at war with the abundance. It’s carried on for hundreds of years now. When will it ever end?”

“I don’t know.”

“You’re a god, aren’t you?”

Her question stunned him. Not once did he mention anything about his association with the heavens, nor did he ever talk about what he does.

“How… how did you know?’

“Many things really. It’s not every day you see a middle-aged man locked in a deep conversation with a much younger man like they’ve known each other their whole life.”

“He’s not that old.”

“To you he’s not. But to me and many others, he is. And you never really told me what you do, yet you always seem to have money. You also are well read. More than your average wealthy person, and you know lots about art, as if you’ve spent centuries perfecting it. Not to mentions, you practically sleep where knowledge is kept. And don’t think I don’t see the look in your eyes when you gaze at the dragons at the library entrance.”

Dan Feng is silent for a moment before asking, “When did you find out?”

“Since the celebration on my birthday. No one is that brave enough to gift me a blade hidden in a hair stick. And again, to be able to afford pearls of that quality. If it wasn’t the threat of abundance, my father would definitely begin suspecting you.”

“And why does me being a god matter to you?” Dan Feng asked, his heart racing.

“Can’t you do something about it? Fight the abundance or a least gift us abilities to do so?”

“Even if I had the power, I can’t.”

“Why?”

“I don’t have the power to command many forces. I’m a minor god of the moon, not for battle. Even then, if I was a god of war, I will still need permissions from the rulers and anyone else I answer to.”

The girl falls silent.

“So you’re saying, you can only defend yourself?”

Dan Feng nods.

————————————————————————————————

The last time he saw her in this life was witnessing her be poisoned.

The day had started like any other, he met with her while in the company of Yingxing. The three had made their way to the market. After eating and drifting from vendor to vendor, they returned with a request to a banquet from the emperor. It was going well. All the food were served as normal while all guests watched dances and plays until everyone heard intense coughing.

“Someone fetch the doctor! Quick! The fourth princess has been poisoned!” a maid screamed.

All hell broke loose at once. People ran as if trying to escape as few turned to mara-struck soldiers. Dan Feng pushed past the havoc as he sees the emperor trying to cut his way through the denizens. By the time Dan Feng got to her, she was already weak.

“Mian Mian!” He called out to her while cradling her close to him. ‘No… it’s happening again. Just like last time.’

“Dan… Feng…”

“Shh. I’m here, you’ll be okay.”

“这话。。。是对我说的？还是。。。还是对你自己说的？“ [Your words… Is it said towards me? Or… or is it said towards yourself?]

“What do you mean?”

“I won’t make it,” her hand moved towards her mid-section, where the hair stick he had gifted her, is embedded deeply into.

“Why?”

“I was given a choice. Either turn into them, or die. It’s obvious which I chose.”

Dan Feng’s hand enclosed over hers as tears streamed down his face.

“你的手好暖啊。。。丹枫，你能陪着我吗？我好困啊。“ [Your hands are so warm… Dan Feng, can you stay with me? I’m so tired.] She whispered weakly.

He nodded as he clutched her cold hands. With each passing second, she grows weaker and weaker until her eyes closed and her breathing stills. It happened once again… I lost her again. He looked around, trying to catch sight of familiar locks of white. Yet, all he saw were the bodies of others. The servants, the emperor, ministers. But not a shadow of his friend in sight. Lifting the girl’s cold body in to a bridle carry Dan Feng carefully made his way through the palace as he finally sees his friend tending to those in need.

“Yingxing.”

Hearing his friend calling for him, Yingxing turns to see Dan Feng carrying the girl. Others who saw the pair bowed until their heads touched the stone, some even crying.

“Dan Feng…”

“I need your help getting her to the central palace.”

“Are you crazy? She’s never cultivated like I have. If you take her there, you’ll be punished!”

“And I’m willing to face that punishment.”

“Why?”

“Yingxing, I don’t think I can carry on another life without her.”

“And if she doesn’t remember who you are?”

“I’m a selfish man. You know that.”

Yingxing sighs heavily, “Okay. I’ll help you. But if anything happens along the way, I want you to go straight ahead. Don’ bother saving me. Do you understand?”

Dan Feng nods.

“Go. Flee. All of you. This place is no longer safe,” Yingxing commanded.

Heeding his words, everyone quickly fled, never looking back. The two quickly makes their way to the Hall of Worship. And just like what Yingxing suspected, denizens of abundance are hot on their trail. As they were reaching the gates, more mara-struck appears, cutting them off their path. Seeing as they have nowhere to go, Yingxing turns to Dan Feng, “Fly there. I’ll hold them off.”

Dan Feng holds Yingxing’s gaze as the denizens began closing in.

“Thank you, Yingxing.”

He gives a court nod to Dan Feng as he takes flight in the direction of the Hall of Worship. Yingxing locked eyes with a mara-struck soldier as he raises his sword, ready to face his imminent death.

By the time Dan Feng arrived, the sun was starting to set. Not letting anymore time go to waste, he teleports both himself and the girl to the central palace, collapsing onto his knees upon landing. By seeing the pair’s arrival, everyone rushed to them in shock.

“Quickly! Send a force to the capitol! They’re under attack by denizens! Please!” He begged.

Jing Yuan glanced at the empress as she gave a nod. He turns and leaves quickly, the doors slamming shut behind him.

“And why have you brought a deceased mortal? Where is Yingxing?” The empress asked, her voice steady.

Dan Feng looked down towards the girl before back up at the empress.

“I have come to ask you to grant her a new life. An immortal one.”

“And why should I fulfill your request.”

Dan Feng swallowed his unease. Yet he was spared when the empress sighed through her nose and said, “You are aware of the price?”

Dan Feng nods eagerly, “As long as she lives, I am willing to pay any price.”

“The rules say your existence and future is to cease. However, seeing as Li __’s father took great care of her as best he could, I will merely strip you of your status and have you undergo rebirth. Now, tell me where Yingxing is.”

“He stayed behind to ensure I made it to the Hall of Worship, your majesty.” The hall falls silent as the empress gracefully stands up and walks up to Dan Feng’s kneeling form. Two maids quickly approach and bowed before them.

“Stand.”

Doing as she commanded, Dan Feng stands, carrying the girl’s body.

“Hand her over to the maids. They will start the process. She will be born a new, as an infant from the petals of an orange blossom. As for you. Best make your way to Scalegorge then. The two of you shall meet once more on the 15th day of the seventh month two decades from now.”

Blinking slowly, Dan Heng began to come to his senses. Looking around, he realizes that he’s in his own room. The familiar light turquoise quilt covering him snuggly. Carefully, he sat up as the doors to his room opens and in walks Jing Yuan.

“You’re awake!”

“What happened?”

“Right after you took the memory gem, you passed out.”

A sudden headache attacked Dan Heng as he held his head and groaned.

“Mian Mian!”

“Easy there. You’ve just recovered.”

“Remind me why you want me to regain my memories.”

“Tomorrow is the 15th. Her majesty thought it would be best if you used the memory gem before then.”

Dan Heng pulls his quilt away from him and stands with the help of Jing Yuan. He slowly hobbles to his table where warm food awaits him at. Picking up his chopsticks, he slowly begins to eat while listening to Jing Yuan ramble about his day.

The next day, Dan Heng began preparing to meet the girl he’s dreamt about. What if she doesn’t like my anymore? He thought. He shook his head and smacked his face as he began to make his way to the destination Jing Yuan told him. When he arrives, he sees a feminine figure looking up at the moon. She is draped in light purple and pink silks. Sleeves long and skirts that trails. A gentle cyan pibo floats freely. Her hair adorned with many hair sticks that holds a looped bun. A fitting appearance for a fairy.

Walking up to her, Dan Heng cleared his throat — startling the poor girl. She spun around to face him, and when their eyes met, he saw the glimmers in her eyes. The longer they gazed at one another, the faster Dan Heng’s heart beats.

“棉棉。“ [Mian Mian.]

She smiles as she approached him and hugged him.

“丹恒。” [Dan Heng.]

He smiled, returning her hug. She whispered gently to him:

“谢谢。” [Thank you.]

As the moon reached high up in the sky, the two who waited two lives, shared a kiss of love and longing.

In certain times in history, emperors of China cherished their daughters, thus always choosing another girl from outside the court to be a "princess" and marry them off.

My rendition of 西王母 comes from my own understanding of what writings and media portray her as. She's caring and forgiving.

I am also today's years old when I learned that Queen Mother and Jade Emperor are only co-workers not married.

Pibo [披帛] is a type of shawl worn with hanfu. Most depictions of immortals and gods use pibo in a way to how halos are used in the west.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

This work was originally supposed to be titled 三生三世, but upon learning that it isn't actually an old saying, so I looked it up and found the two possible origins.

Beginning and ending dividers: nicodefresas

Middle dividers: fanguro

#honkai star rail x reader #honkai star rail #hsr x reader #dan heng x reader #hsr dan heng #dan heng x you #hsr dan heng x reader #dan feng x reader #dan feng x you #hsr imbibitor lunae #imbibitor lunae #yubie x reader #Spotify

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shining-gem34 · 3 months ago

Text

The Majesty of the Dragon Reascent

Summary: What happened to Dan Heng during his transformation after Blade stabbed him. Inspired by DHIL Character Story I and Samudrartha.

Heavy steel pierces into his bones- cutting apart the chains of his disguise.

The pain blooms and spreads, leaving him breathless and dizzy as he stumbles on his feet.

Dan Heng struggles to keep his eyes open, the blurry figures of Yanqing and Blade are covered by black dots dancing in his vision. The blood pounding in his ears is too loud to hear their conversation except for one thing.

The chains that once sealed away his power are coming undone. He can hear the metal snapping and rattling to the ground. He can hear the tides of the Ancient Sea rising; their hymns echoing in his ears.

Finally, Dan Heng closes his eyes and lets the sea embrace him.

...

When Dan Heng opens his eyes, he raises a hand to block the sun's blinding light. A gasp escapes him once his eyes adjusts to the brightness.

It is not the Scalegorge Waterscape he is familiar with. No, he wasn't at Dragonprayer Terrace either.

A grand palace uprooted from the sea stands tall and proud. Their regal banners hangs from the palace walls. Branches of brightly-colored corals form a straight path to the gates. The luminescent bubbles float idly in the air, tempting visitors to touch their delicate shell.

"No. Something not right." Dan Heng whispers, turning around to find the exit.

Suddenly, his wrists are tugged back forcing him to stop. Turning his head, Dan Heng cannot make out the strangers who grabbed him. Their billowy sleeves dancing with the waves makes it difficult to see their faces. Between it all, he catches a glimpse of pointed ears and horns.

"Vidyadhara...?" Dan Heng questions, but gasps as the phantoms tug him again and guide him past the gates. He tries to wrench his wrist away from their grasps, "Let me go! I have to go back!"

Yinyue Jun has returned!

Our radiant pearl; the finest of white jade!

They ignore his demands and drag him to the stone stairs leading upwards.

Anxiety gnaws in his stomach. Dan Heng watches as the previously empty palace slowly return to life. More faceless phantoms appear with every step on the stairs, dressed in extravagant robes as they all turn in his direction. The only way he recognizes they are too Vidyadhara are their pointed ears and horns; High Elders.

His stomach sinks, nauseous at the realization these people were once High Elders of the Luofu Vidyadhdara. Now, they are ghosts of the past after returning to the cycle. The remnants of their identity becoming one with the Ancient Sea.

And just like the sea itself, they begin to move as one with a sweep of their arms and celebrate the return of [Yinyue Jun].

Yinyue Jun has returned to us!

Our moon to our seas; the azure dragon legacy!

"I'm not him! Now unhand me this instant!" Dan Heng shouts again, pulling his hand free only for them to grab it again. He winces at the bone-crushing grip. They drag him harder to the point he almost stumbled on the stairs.

The brief pause is enough for him to glance at his reflection in the waterfall surface next to him. His eyes widened in horror seeing himself with pointed ears and a pair of azure-colored horns atop of his head.

"No...NoNoNo. This isn't me! This is NOT who I am...!"

His struggles are drowned by the phantoms raising their voices. The same hymns Dan Heng heard before is being sung. Their pitches becoming higher like the waves steadily rising and transforming into storms. Soon, the might of the ocean will come crashing down to him.

Already, Dan Heng feels overwhelmed as if he's sinking deeper underwater and cannot breathe.

Yinyue Jun has returned to us- Their sacred home!

Our guardian, who quelled the [tainted giant tree], and protected our roots!

Why have you forsaken your duty and abandoned us?

"That wasn't me!" Dan Heng screams at the top of his lungs, panting to catch his breath. He repeats, shaking his head furiously, "That's not me. He is gone; dead. His sins are not mine to bear. I am...I am..."

The singing stopped abruptly. The grip on his wrist is gone. The phantoms are all gone except one.

It was easier to run away; to leave and never look back. This man sins has nothing to do with him. Why should he be the one to bear his punishment?

Yet Dan Heng, numb and tired, forced his legs to move forward until he reached the top of the stairs.

He arrives at a sacrificial altar and above him are dragon-shape roots. Their gaze intimidating, impassive, and so cold-

You, who have reached this place, have you finally decided to accept us?

Just like the phantom a few feet away, appearing too similar to that man, and silently observing him.

"You." Dan Heng hisses darkly, glaring at the ghost as he said bluntly, "I hate you."

The phantom cocks his head, making it hard to discern if he's surprised or confused by his response. But Dan Heng continues to speak.

"My answer remains the same as always: No. No, I will not accept you. I don't care if you're real or not. But, I am not you, Dan Feng. I will not become you nor will I be associated you, a monster who hurt many in your arrogance."

Dan Heng watches the ghost cross his arms. He appears thoughtful, pondering over his response. He's still isn't sure if this is Dan Feng or not, but again what did it matter? Real or not, he loathed this thing for every wrong he did affecting everyone around him to this day.

Yet you cannot change who you are, what we are, for the crown you wear is proof of your lineage even if it's stained his my crimes: It is yours now.

His hands automatically reached for his head. The smoothness of the horns doesn't bring him comfort. Instead, it drives him mad for it's existence is a reminder of who he is behind his disguise. A broken dragon forced to bear the crimes of a sinner of a past life that is no longer his.

Determination fuels his next course of action.

Grabbing his horns, Dan Heng pulls them as hard as he can. His eyes shut tight in concentration, trying to ignore the uncomfortable pressure on his head. When he hears the ghost make a sound of dissent, he retorts sharply:

"If this crown is so important to ascertain my identity, then to hell with it! I don't need this to define who I am!" Dan Heng gasps at the pain, ignoring the blood trailing down his forehead. He glares hatefully at the ghost and tells him.

"I am not Dan Feng or Yinyue Jun- I am Dan Heng!"

The horns crack at the base, but at the same time he feels something else break inside him.

Finally, Dan Heng closes his eyes and sees himself transforming into a brilliant azure dragon. The mirages of the past High Elder returns and parts a path like the sea itself split open. They welcome the birth of a new dragon, witnessing his ascension as he soared through the starry-filled skies with a tempest roar.

At the altar, the ghost watching this grandiose recalled his determination moments earlier. As this dream starts to fade away, he thinks with both fondness and sadness.

You have decided your path, but alas no matter where you go- This power, this lineage, and this past [sins] will always be a part of you.

#jade writes (drabbles)#the guard of the express (dan heng)#lotus moon blooming from mud (il dan heng)#hidden dragon (angst/serious/gore)#tags pending #||SMH While Dan Heng has his magical girl transformation he gets to deal with more trauma #||Is it Dan Feng? Is it Yubie? The world will never know #||Heavily Dan Heng bias and he believes it's DF #||Might edit this later #||Since I flopped at the end #||Super self-indulgent DH centric that has been on my mind for a while #||Samudrartha on loop halp

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