#Your poor boys don't take the trip well tho

[w2soneshots]

Accident -KSI

words: 0.7k+

warnings: angst, skiing accident, hospitals, recovery.

summary: when abroad skiing for a sidemen video you have an accident and everyone’s worried about you.

notes: I love this request and I feel like JJ is such a cutie so he would definitely react like this💞. I hope you enjoy my loves!!😊🫶🏼

Liked by tobjizzle, taliamar and 521,870 others

y/username: how it started vs how it's going😭

-comments-

ksi: ❤️‍🩹❤️‍🩹

freyanightingale: my poor girl🥺

y/nfanpage21: omfg what happened? Are you ok?

user31083649: isn't she filming for a sidemen vid?

-> user29736105: yea. I'm not sure if they'll post it now tho🤷‍♂️

"Shit! Babe, are you okay?!" JJ shouted, racing over to me. I could barely hear him. My ears were ringing and my head hurt. "y/n? y/n can you hear me? Answer me!" He scrambled as I began to come back into consciousness. "I'm ok." I croaked. My voice coming out much more quiet than I thought it would. "Fucking hell! You scared the shit out of me." I tried to sit up, a sharp pain spread through my leg. I hissed. JJ started to panic for a second time. "Don't move! What is it? Your leg?" I nodded. "Ok I'm gonna call an ambulance."

It felt a little bit like a blur after that. I was rushed to the nearby hospital where they completely checked me over. Almost an hour after we arrived the doctor came back with the results of their tests. "So, you have a concussion which is most likely from the impact of the fall and is the reason you blacked out. Your leg is severely bruised since that was what you landed on but nothing is broken. You are very lucky." She explained sweetly. A weight lifted from my shoulders. JJ let out a relived breath. "Thank you." I smiled. "You'll need to rest and take it easy for the next few weeks but you should be just fine."

We flew home the next day and I was treated like a complete princess. JJ cancelled everything in order to take care of me. I slept, watched reality tv, cuddled with our little dog and ate the food JJ brought to me, which mostly consisted of uber eats since I'm usually the cook. Yinka (JJ's mum) came round to bring me some home cooked food and to make sure that I was okay, which was really sweet. I got many texts from all of my friends along with the boys who were really concerned when they saw I'd had an accident.

I wasn't initially supposed to be going on the trip but Vik became Ill so they asked if I could step in last minute, since every time I go on there channel the video does really well. I agreed and we left for the airport the next day.

I spent the first day on the bad team with Simon and Harry which they both felt bad about but I'm really close with Simon since I've known him for so many years so I wasn't that bothered. I had to spend the night in a tiny room with them, me on the top bunk. Then JJ and Harry swapped so I ended up remaining on the bad team with Simon and JJ, I wasn't really mad though because I can't ski and I'd rather have the funny experience with JJ.

Then only one hour in I lost control and practically rolled off of a small snowy cliff. I landed in the snow after only falling about three metres but I was going full speed, doing something I wasn't familiar with. They asked if I wanted the video to be cancelled and I told them that was ridiculous. I fell on the last day and wasn't injured that badly plus the whole thing was caught on camera so it was great content.

"I'm seriously so glad you're ok. I was really worried for a second." JJ said quietly as he gently ran his hand through my hair. I yawned as we were about to go to sleep. "Could you imagine if I had died? I can see the headlines now, 'KSI's girlfriend dies while filming sidemen Sunday'" I played it out with my hands. He chuckled. "I love you. Good night." He kissed my forehead. I nuzzled closer into his shoulder. "I love you too." I whispered as I drifted off to sleep.

Liked by ksi, faithloisak and 410,732 others

y/username: thank you for your lovely messages but I'm ok, just realised I'm shit at skiing😘

-comments-

miniminter: committed to the content

-> y/username: a little too committed😂

taliamar: side note: you look stunning!

y/nfanpage21: I'm glad she's alive x

user71209374: the puppy🥹💕

[sebadztian]

Watching the episode now, but no screenshot because CR doesn't allow screenshots.

The P4's obsession with 'tradition' is mental. Even Ciel recognized that. I understand why they killed Arden (guy was annoying af), but the way their reason with it is kinda crazy... For tradition? But then again, they cried because they were allowed to step on the grass, so this school is pretty fucked up... I guess, anything to make them feel better about committing a mass murder...

Sebas' eyes change colour in different shots and it's driving me crazy! My god... This is probably my biggest gripe with his new design.

BUT his teeth are so fine! They're fairly generous with it and he's so fangy & teefy this season! So happy 🥰

In all honesty, I don't quite understand UT's concept for Bizarre Dolls. How did he attach those 'future' to the cinematic record? Like, where did he get those 'future record' from? Does it mean that ambitious people makes the best BDs?

Shoutout to UT's eyes!! Honestly, how did he see through that fringe of his?

And the battle begins...

No, wait... Sebastian, Sebastian... Just kick the guy already! Why are you playing some odd version of arm wresting with him?

Oh, great... Now they're hugging... Damnit, Sebastian!

Why do the BDs sound like Transformer robots?

My god... Harcourt really peed his pants...

Big talk, Seb. You just stood there the whole time... Have you not learned your lesson? When it comes to UT, you can't take your damn sweet time...

Okay, okay... So, I need to digest this...

The imagined fight sequence in Sebas' head is actually cooler than the reality of what happened next. UT even gave him a haircut. Maybe that's why Seb changed course. He didn't want a haircut...

Speaking of change, they changed the text! Instead of "protecting my contractor", they changed it to "protecting my young master" (he did say 'bocchan') 🥹 So domesticated!

And UT's knowing smirk... And his words, "That's our butler"? Sounds like some sort of an approval to me. And he knows that the demon has been domesticated!

The parting booty shake tho!!

Ahhh... The scene that I've been waiting for... It's so intense, even Harcourt fainted from the intensity of it!

This poor boy is the real victim here... First, he found out his crush is actually a butler, then he peed his pants, and then, he had his heart broken all over again because Seb & Ciel are being so gay... He's like the butt of every single joke...

I hate that Sebstian's eyes are not glow-y anymore though... 😭

Edward, you're a good man. Just keep that up, yeah?

So good to see Ciel & Seb in their 'normal' attire & roles. Don't get me wrong, I do love Professor Michaelis, but Sebastian the butler is much better.

Snake 😭😭😭

Well, I'm hoping this is not the last episode. Aren't we getting 12 episodes? Or was it 10? Assuming we do get 12 epsiodes, then the next one should be the shopping trip. So fun! 😄 But then... What would be the 12th episode? 🤔

[dragonfirerogue-writes]

Sup Rogue! Got another req that pops in my mind, sorry for the influx of my requests but I can't help it when you are the first one that I found that actually knows the things I absolutely adore.

KHR x Wednesday

Reborn!Reader is the school flirt but can be a bit of a recluse sometimes, underneath all of that facade is a hitman that can take down famiglias in Italy when hired to do so with their trusty shape shifting companion, Leon. Throughout the day in Nevermore, Leon is always seen on top of Reader's head and shoulder and many assume that Leon is just a pet chameleon. Wednesday got interested into Reader when she got a glimpse of their true personality when defending someone from bullies.

Wednesday x Reborn!Reader

A cell phone sounds in the cafe known as The Weathervane. Everyone looks at their phone, thinking it's theirs but it's only one.

Yours.

"Pronto."

The rest of the cafe goes back to their mundane activities unknowingly sharing their space with a world renowned hitman.

Your coffee order arrives alongside your pastry and you dig in, speaking in Italian to whoever was on the other line. Some Nevermore students, your classmates, take notice of you when they enter the shop. They giggle at the sight of you, cool and suave, and you give them a wink, making them swoon. With a smile, you hang up the phone and dig into your meal.

"Well, Leon," you address your chameleon companion. "It seems I get a bit of a break. Viper is taking the job." You hold up a piece of your pastry and Leon sticks his tongue out to munch on it. "I wonder how much they got paid to do that."

The sound of bells draws your attention to the door, where you see one Wednesday Addams walk through. The goth was an interesting person to witness. While you knew better than to flirt with her, you couldn't help but feel a sense of curiosity when she's involved.

You hear the soft chirp of your companion and turn your head in the direction he's looking. Across the street, there's a poor outcast being pushed around by a group of four. You frown when you see them move into an alley.

"You'd think they'd know better..."

You down the rest of your coffee and leave a tip on the table before striding out the door. You don't feel the eyes on you as you leave.

-----+++++-----

"Get off me, man!" The young outcast yanks fruitlessly at his arm, trying to release it from the grip of his tormentors. The only response he gets is a swift kick in the stomach.

"You outcasts ain't nothin'," yells one of the normies. "Why we even let you in our town is a mystery to me."

The bullies surround the poor boy, preparing to beat him to a pulp. The outcast whines in desperation as he looks for an escape route. Soon, his eyes turn onto you at the mouth of the alley.

"Four against one? My, my. How strong you boys must feel."

The bullies turn to look at you. Two of them advance on you with venom in their eyes.

"And what are you gonna do about it? You're still outnumbered." You just let out a chuckle. Leon climbs from your shoulder to your head.

"I may be outnumbered, but you're outclassed."

One of the bullies roars as he charges at you. In a simple move, you just sidestep and trip him, letting his momentum send him crashing to the ground.

"Tsk tsk. Rookie mistake." You eye the other one advancing on you and prepare for his attack. He's more cautious about attacking you, but you aren't even in a stance. To him, you're wide open.

He moves to tackle you, bent low and barrelling his shoulder into your stomach. You get pushed back, but the impact doesn't do much aside from that. You clasp your hands together above your head and bring them down onto his back with a meteor fist. When he lets go of you, you grab his head and send a knee towards his nose.

The other two standing by the bullied outcast find pipes and arm themselves with them. They start banging the walls to try and intimidate you. It just makes you smile.

"Let's see if those will do you any good."

You're suddenly grabbed from behind in a full nelson. The first guy you dealt with is back up and taking his chance. The other two charge forward, weapons raised high. As soon as they swing down, you bend over with a smirk, taking your grappler with you. There's a cry of pain as the one attached to you gets hit and falls to the ground once again.

"That's two down. Who's next?"

"What you think you're gonna do?" One yells out. "We got weapons."

"Oh? I hadn't noticed." You chuckle and reach up to Leon, letting him climb onto your hand. "Let's even the odds then, hm?"

Leon starts to glow and change shape. His body stretches out into a thin rod and takes the form of a police baton. For the first time, you take a stance with Leon in your hands.

"Well? Let's dance."

Without another warning, you leap forward and take your place in between the two bullies. In quick succession, you alternate strikes between the two, starting low at the knees and making your way up until you twist in a roundhouse strike at their heads, knocking them both out at the same time.

After ensuring that they won't be a bother anymore, you make sure the outcast was all right and let him go. You dust off your uniform and turn to leave, only to find an unexpected sight.

Wednesday Addams inspecting your work.

"Impressive. Concise strikes for quick takedowns. Narrow alley so they don't surround you." Dark eyes look at the chameleon on your shoulder. "A unique companion for assistance. You're much more than the flirt I thought you were."

You just shrug with a sly smile. "Looks can be deceiving. Especially if planned that way."

Wednesday hums in agreement. She takes a final look at the bullies scattered around before looking at you once more.

"I believe you can be of use to me. Come with me to the Weathervane and we'll discuss further."

With a simple turn, she makes her way back across the street. You just look at Leon and shrug before following.

"Yes ma'am."

[arcplaysgames]

yeah because Mitsuo is not the killer, I know this, you know this, we all know this

if finding a fake killer gets me tuna tho i'm in, i'll frame a man every day, i don't care

WAIT WAIT THE STORYBOOK FROM THE SUN LINK IN P3P GOT PUBLISHED? Man its a dark children's book. Beautiful but nihilistic. You know the kids who read that are going to have a lot of difficult questions their parents do not wanna answer. Good, though.

Summer Festival! Nanako is adorable. AND GET THIS. BRACE YOURSELVES. MAKE SURE YOU ARE SITTING DOWN AND HOLDING ONTO SOMETHING.

DOJIMA ACTUALLY SHOWS UP TO TAKE CARE OF HIS DAUGHTER. I KNOW. I KNOOOOOOW. Shocking. Usually this girl is being raised by six teenagers and the human personification of a mascot character.

A STUNNING turn of events!

Teddie is such a manipulator lmao. First he suggests everyone pair off to enjoy the festival bc That's What You Do At Festivals, then gets the boys deliberating who should go with who, then while everyone is all turned around, he swoops in to take all the girls out around the festival so no one is 'left out.'

lmao. i love Teddie. I'm actually trying to pin down why Yosuke's horny boy bullshit annoys me but Teddie does not. It may be because he's SO flagrant about it, he's SO over the top, you know going in its a Yes, And scenario. Or, you can slap him, lmao.

After, Rise invited me out to a one on one date to the festival. She's very funny and boisterous but I think I'm friendzoning everyone in this playthru. I haven't found anyone I wanna date. And I know there is one more option coming so I don't want to accidentally pen myself in, like with Akihiko and late-comer Aigis. Poor Aigis.....

Not about to let anyone begin to assume he's a good dad, over in the Hierophant SLink, Dojima reveals that his wife died in a hit and run while Nanako was in nursery school. Which explains why Nanako barely remembers her.

Dojima's whole deal is that he's still working that case, still trying to find out who killed his wife. He claims its for Nanako, that someday in the future, she'll appreciate it.

And listen. The trauma of your spouse being murdered is not a joke. That's really heavy stuff. Your life falls apart as a pillar is just suddenly taken out, and surviving the loss of that kind of load-bearing structure is very fucking hard. I got zero judgement there.

However. Nanako doesn't give a shit. Her mother is a distant figure that doesn't affect her life anymore but via her absence. There is zero doubt in my mind that Nanako would remember Dojima more fondly as a man who stepped up to be her fucking father rather than having the closure for, sorry, a woman she has likely already forgotten the face of.

So again: get your shit together, Dojima.

SUMMER BEACH EPISODE. lmao poor kanji on his bike. also, Teddy is in bear mode. WHY is Teddie in bear mode? That seems much harder to travel with.

I'm not even gonna squint at Yosuke. Yosuke, someday, you will look back on your youth and feel so goddamn embarrassed at yourself. You are the very model of a modern repressed bisexual.

LMAO irl cackling. his response is so blaise. "why would i????" hahaha

lmao i missed it but chie and kanji were racing at like mach speed.

Of course because we need shenanigans, Teddie has been pulling at swimsuits to no avail. Well, almost no avail.

Hey, what is with the lightning bruiser boys and their tiny swimsuits, lmao. We are creating such a Specific trope here with them, it's bemusing. The venn diagram is something all right.

(Wait i JUST fucking noticed that Kanji has a fucking scar in the exact same place Akihiko does. What the fuck. That is a WILD coincidence.)

FUCKING YOSUKE AND REVERIE'S AVERTED GAZES LMAO. gdi teddie.

the voice acting here is a fucking treat, i cannot tell you enough.

everyone's doing amazing, sweetie

compared to the spring camping trip, this is a ten out of ten

[having-conniptions]

Love In The Air Special Episode) live reaction under the cut (long post)

Uhhhhh I watched the entire series on iQIYI and there's a special episode but it's just some behind the scenes commentary... I don't think that's it *proceeds to google* *finds actual episode on bilibili* aaaaaahhh bilibili my beloved

The quality is fucked tho, I can count the damn pixels

Ayyyyy besties hanging out <3

Lmao not Plerng trying to snatch Sky away from Pai hahahahaha

"Nong Sky, you should come this way or you'll go crazy like them" HAHAHA SHE'S ICONIC

"I didn't fight with P'Phayu. I'm just annoyed that he's attractive." Good to know our boys still have normal real-life problems

So... Sky's problem is that Pai's entire family is crushing on him and Rain's problem is that everyone is crushing on Phayu? They're so unserious omg but unserious problems are what they deserve after everything they've gone through

"No, it doesn't suit you. Take it off right now." So that's how it is huh Rain?

Hahaha my babies are so baby

"Have you ever called P'Pai 'Daddy'?" RAIN WHERE IS THIS GOING

The way he said "Daddyyy-uh!" Rain stoooppp I'm wheezing

Soooo... Phayu was acting like Rain's dad (telling him to get off his damn phone and read a book), Rain called him out on it and Phayu's brain short circuited - got it xD I love them so much

Hahaha Rain is so shameless istg

"Can I eat something else too?" 👀🍑

I'M FUCKINF WHEEZING THE FUVKING NIPPLE PINCH HAHAHA Sky sending Pai to horny jail

"Keep playing your game. I'm gonna play mine." OH MY 👀

Awwww Phayu and Prapai watching Rain and Sky being adorable and goofy 🤭❤️

Sky telling that girl to back off was too good - I absolutely love when he's being sassy 🔥❤️

He's so sassy and confident I LOVE HIM SO MUCH ❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️

Besties going on a trip ayyyyy

And trying their hardest not to miss their respective boyfriends lmao

But can we please treat their friendship as just as valid and important as their relationships? Because it is 😭❤️

They didn't even tell their boyfriends?? Oh - they did. But our dumbasses still decided to look for them I guess lol

Oh poor Sig xD

Lmao Rain gave Sig the exact location and even the room HE WANTS TO BE FOUND 😂

Sig's "evil laugh" I can't- 😂

SKY IN LUFFY COSPLAY?? I mean I knew he was an otaku but I didn't know it was this bad 😂 the cosplay is 🔥🔥🔥 tho

Chilling at the pool, sipping cocktails, living the good life 😌❤️

...gets boring quickly I guess 😂

Good thing the bf's are on their way

"Don't say there's actually a ghost behind me" Rain so Baby

"You know I'll get angry if you drag me away like that, don't you?" - "You know I won't do anything against your will" THIS EXCHANGE ❤️❤️

Directly followed by "I told you not to followed me" well he's got a point lmao

HAVE I MENTIONED I LOVE SASSY SKY especially when he's bossing around his bf

Love how both of them are like "I'll forgive you but you have to do whatever I say" Rain is gonna put Phayu in a costume isn't he- HE CAME PREPARED IT'S IN HIS SUITCASE I CAN'T 😂

Oh my god Sky's rules for Pai are pure evil but like in the best way possible holy shit HAVE I MENTIONED I LOVE WHEN SKY IS LIKE THIS

"Then it must be when I punished you until you were sore. But i remember that you liked it" whyyy did we only see the other options (why Rain is angry) as flashbacks earlier but not this one? Not fair xD

"Made out with her" RAIN THEY JUST SAT NEXT TO EACH OTHER ON A COUCH CALM YOUR TIDDIES BABE

Hahaha "next outfit. Get changed now."

The kisses in this series are seriously so beautiful - idk why but they're just so satisfying 😌❤️

Omg Sky with the candles & the bathrobe and the bubble bath and Pai isn't allowed to do anything or react - really testing his self control I could neverrrrrr

The power that Sky holds over Pai 👀👀👀 I am WEAK for him omg

"You've really got no idea how greedy I am" why is that so hot I mean what-

"We've made up, but I never said your punishment was over" Sky can be so scary you almost forget he is in fact baby

Awwwwww why is everyone so cute 😭❤️

"Shall we have a beach wedding?" PROPOSING ALREADY HUH

"You must've forgotten that same sex marriage isn't legalized in this country" I love how this line perfectly fits Sky's character while simultaneously bringing attention to one of the problems same-sex couples in Thailand face in real life, reminding viewers of the injustice that still exists

"But I believe there'll be changes in the future" aaaaaa i really see this exchange as something that's kinda breaking the first wall and this line feels like it's meant to give hope to same-sex couples in Thailand (and in other countries where it's not legal yet) ❤️❤️

Also can I just say Sky looks so freaking beautiful in this scene I want to print out every frame and use them as wallpaper 😍

Also the location and outfits are the same as in the photo on Pai's desk 😭❤️😭❤️

"When you're ready, I'm gonna propose to you" YEESSSS THE HALF-PROPOSAL AND PAI WAITING FOR SKY TO BE READY AAAA IT'S EVERYTHING

Awwww everyone running into the water, flip flops floating away into the ocean lmao

Shiiiiiiit they're all so cute omg that shot with both couples just standing there SO IN LOVE and Phayu and Pai with their wet (now see-through) shirts I don't even know where to look but this is art

And I'm sure a good part of that goofy ending was just BossNoeul and FortPeat 🤭🤭

This... this is it. It's over. Omg it's over. But it's not bc I'm not done yet. Time to obsess for a couple more weeks.

[kosi-annec]

[HAIKYUU!!] Season 2 episode 7

I thought they were trying to sneak out for a moment there lol. This reminds me of when I had to wake up at an ungodly hour to get ready for a school field trip

Sugamama concerned for the couple lmao

Hmm? Wat was that bout tsuki huh? What's with the look?

Pft- at least the tower actually kinda looks like tokyo tower, with the colors and all. HSKSHSK kageyama looks so disappointed that its not tokyo tower

LEV MY GUY 😭

Did karasuno ever tried practicing together as a team after they all did their individual practice? If not then I don't see how this will go well...

COME ON!— AH FUCK, so they didn't practice as a team to see how their individual training pays off as a whole group

OMG HINATA YES!! LET'S GO

Now, are you two gonna talk shit out now?? Ya two dumbasses cant keep giving each other the silent treatment

EYO ASAHI! OOF it's ok you'll get the next one!

Ah- well that's embarrassing... it is their first time trying that out

DON'T WORRY NOYA YA AIN'T USED TO SETTING

I have to say tho, it's nice that we get see karasuno trying- and failing- out their new skills, it makes sense that they wont be able to do them perfectly on the court. That's what happens when you're trying something new, but the fact is they're trying and working to be better. Once they've figured out their new rhythm, they'll be crushing it i bet

Awww lil hinata and yama getting hyped just watching the other teams

HSKSHSKS LMAO KUROO

Hhhh oh boy, first the tension between kageyama and hinata, now tsuki and yama. I sort of know why tsuki is being like this (thanks to spoilers oop-) but it interesting to watch it happen

Kuroo, bokuto (i think that's his name?) he's very not interested... LMAO POOR LEV

Ah yes, provoking tsuki to get him to do whatcha want lmao

YES YACHI, WE KAGEHINA SHIPPERS THANK YOU

Finally tsuki is actually putting the effort, ya don't see that every day

LMAO POOR LEV 😭

Oh~ now that's what a blocker who practices is like! Tsuki take notes

Kuroo knooows, he knows tsuki has potential, its just that he's not putting any effort to care and help grow that potential

OH SHIT TSUKI BACKSTORY!! Ah, that's one of the scary possibilities that could happen to anyone who works hard in something they're passionate about; putting so much effort, trying so hard, but then never getting the chance to actually succeed in your passion or just failing miserably, which ends up making you feel like all that time and effort was wasted

"look at you, you are such a fat ass" LMAO yeah we needed that to break the ice HSKHSJS

Damn karasuno be getting their asses kicked

WATERMELON BREAK

Oh right i forgot tsuki said that; him being the moon while hinata is the sun imagery shit... IS THAT WHY THIS EPISODE IS CALLED MOONRISE?? OMG I GET NOW

Karasuno is slowly learning bout tsuki's past, YOU CAN'T ESCAPE IT GLASSES BOY

Tsuki i have no idea why you started talking to asahi bout how hinata might surpass him, but asahi didn't come back to be replaced just like that

Coach ya better intervene and push tsuki to trying more, cuz he will end up falling behind

OH SHIT- hinata sensed a greater presence than he and let the ball go

Tsuki getting left behind on the uphill run with only yama staying behind to wait up for tsuki, but keeps running once tsuki tells him to go, THE SYMBOLISM

YEAH YAMA, what would tell him, cuz its bout time ya knock some sense into ye boyfriend

[castle-dominion]

c1x3 (technically 1x2? 1x4?) hell hath no fury

Coffee is just like that. He's present during paperwork for once. She's so pretty & looks so good in red & totally deserves to have that short hair. She looked so much better in the earlier seasons & now she's just some lady.

RC: No. Hiding would be building a fortress out of my comforter and then downing a fifth of Scotch, but apparently that's considered unhealthy.

Was THAT espt's voice? Woah. Lol two gay bois moving in together already huh.

KR: Dead guy in a rug. Naturally, we thought of you. JE: Ye Both: : ) uwu

Already jinxing <3

Castle just taking photos

Ok so ik I talk abt the outfits a lot but I love castle's scarf & beckett's coat & rysposito have swapped clothing

Hey, I'm a wise-ass, not a jackass.

Martha <3

I don't care about what people think... much.

Oh yeah even where I live we do roadkill furniture & gear.

[06:00, EXT. ALLEYWAY - DAY] Esposito and Ryan in a dumpster digging through the garbage. They are wearing coveralls to protect their clothing.

ESPOSITO I don't care if it was free. Even if you pay me, I'm still not gonna take that rug.

RYAN You tell me you've lived in New York your whole life, and you never scored a piece of road kill?

ESPOSITO "Road kill?"

RYAN It's an accepted practice, bro. You're done with your old stuff, you leave it on the street for those less fortunate. (waving a (still yellow) banana peel back & forth.) Artists, students, former hedge fund managers. It's trickle-down economics at its finest.

ESPOSITO Yeah, well, I prefer not to be trickled on.

RYAN :D You know that red couch I have? The one you like so much?

ESPOSITO 0n0 Don't you say it, bro.

RYAN 54th and Lex.

ESPOSITO That's gross. Gross. (Ryan laughing.) We are never playing Madden at your place again. (& I was wondering where the fanfictions learned this tidbit. Now I know.)

Btw you DO need to be careful. Dumpster diving is great but u don't want to end up with silverfish. (Happened at my church youth group.) (source: https://scriptline.livejournal.com/18193.html)

Bro never SAID he didn't, never said ANYTHING implying he didn't. He just said that the information wasn't a guarantee that he DID.

RC: Promise not to hate me. KB: I already hate you. RC: Fair enough.

Well, not exactly a friend. She's my interior decorator. But then we slept together, so I don't really know what she is now. WHAT Castle is the one who's kind of slutty, not nikki heat

Creason: *gagging on the coffee, shaking his head wildly* RC: I feel you, man.

KB: Hey, Esposito! JE: Ya? KB: See what you can find on that rug. If one went missing, what room it's from, and maybe who had access. JE: Yeh. KB: Thanks JE, to Ryan who is standing there on his phone: Road trip. RC: You're very good at bossing men around. KB: RC: I've noticed

RC, Through The Glass: You are so lame! You're Lamey McLamester! You're so la-la-la-la-lame!

JB: Mr. Bollinger's my father. Call me Jason. Me: Penis minivan lesbian was my father. Please, call me dick van dyke.

Lol councilman horny

lmao ryan in the background trying to give a gal his number & then he sends poor ryan after the drunk folks peeing in the flower pot & he goes to give the fellow his number even tho she already said she had a bf (well she said it to ryan).

Idk whether to laugh or get offended bc I'm no swerf:

Esposito, Ryan, Castle, and a couple other guys look over the prostitutes' website.

JE Damn! Those are some seriously fine five-star class-B misdemeanors. (XD)

KR: Dude, between you and me, you ever pay for it?

RC: Are you counting my marriages? (XD) KR: *one huff of laughter*

[Ryan clicks to a new page]

RC: Wait, stop! That's the girl in the photos. (See? Police work.)

KR: *sigh* Look at her. If I had your money...

[Beckett approaches and the other two guys takes off] KB: This isn't phone sex, Ryan. You don't just pay for the two minutes that you used.

JE: *Laughs*

Or you could just do it the easy way. (I love the way ryan is just looking back & forth between them & Espt just kinda looks up at beckett before awkwardly watching castle eyebrows HIGH, then beckett goes to hit him w her files; & then rysposito just turn to watch all smiley as she chases him down) No, no, no , no, no. You're the police. I'm just a lonely upscale gentleman looking for a date. Bet I find her first.

We all thought the pro was already there.

Beckett staring at him mad, Espt staring at him (eyebrows down but) interested, & Ryan staring at the box confused. RC: Yeah, just put it right over there. Perfect. Lift with your knees, man. Stay here for one second, would you? Because you guys have been so wonderfully hospitable to me, I just want to return the favor. And because your coffee is basically crap, I got you an espresso machine! How cool is that? Ryan looks at the coffee cup (which he is holding weird, point for the adhd ryan hc), espt is smilin & becks is just unimpressed

Goggles don't help like that but thanks.

Alexis <3 Martha <3

Firefly moments DX

I love Lanie & Kate. LP: Damn girl, you scared me. KB: Lanie, you're surrounded by corpses. LP: Yeah, I don't expect the living after seven o'clock. (So hearing someone talking is a shock.) KB: Funny. Neither do I. LP: I'm an M.E. What's your excuse? KB: Oh, don't be mean. LP: You deserve it. Getting a drink with me after work instead of getting your freak on with writer-boy? KB: Yeah, well, he is annoying, self-centered, egotistical, and completely-- LP: Fun? KB: LP: And take it from me, girlfriend, you need some fun. (Beckett's phone rings) LP: I mean, how bad can he be? KB, on the phone: Beckett. RC: Guess who's got a date with a prostitute! KB: *arms out in defeat*

He is a gentleman. Heck yeah, treat your escort with respect or whatever. True, big thing. Sex is a way to feel connected & men* typically feel more emotionally comfy if they are having sex with that person. Women* typically need the emotional connection to feel comfy enough for sex. Supposedly that's why marriages fail. Men* aren't getting the sex to feel emotionally safe & women* aren't getting the emotional connection to have sex. (*generalizations, probably cishet, etc)

Ryan looks almost normal rn, wearing that shirt & tie. Castle with his sweater today instead of his typical attire. Them all talking about the coffee.

RM: My three-year-old son could come up with a better story than that. Follow the money. Kirby: Hey! Hey! Can I go home now?

"Detective, with all due respect, there's no way in hell I'm helping you start a witch hunt against our top supporters. Now, you want to go through our campaign contributors? Fine. That's a matter of public record. But anything else and you're on your own." I mean he's right

RC: Hey. Finished your homework? AC: Yeah. RC: You want to finish mine? AC: Well, that depends. How much you offering to pay me? RC: Oh, I taught you well.

Kate just doesn't want to be seen appreciating castle's presence as a point of principal.

I figured it out. I knew it was the hair but I finally see where it is changed. I recently saw the 3xk sequel in s4 & Ryan with his "hello fellow kids" look. His hair is too far down. It is not brushed up away from his face, it is slightly curly & falling a little bit down. Plus, the lighting or makeup design has his lips lookin like mine did in japan. (The kids there had an app with filters but I was white so it made my lips way too bright.)

She has a right to see the warrant my dudes. U can't just waltz in there.

Ryan, flipping open his badge all prettylike: Stop running, bro. Campaign's over.

RM: Nice work. Very impressive. *Walking away* Oh, and uh, you, too, Beckett. KB: Sir??? RM: Just yanking your chain, Detective. Just yanking your chain.

Castle does readings like this, they could record it for esposito. (A point for an adhd esposito headcanon except u'r not allowed to be in the military if u have adhd, lucky for me.) (I remember in the pilot he asked for tapes. & then throughout the rest of s1 we can see ryan starting to get into castle's books.)

[mblay-and-company]

Okay, look @leggerefiore

You created Yandere Submas

Your fans asked "What would happen if they swapped with your regular Submas Twins?"

And my Chaos Brain decided to wake up and choose violence

I was 100% inspired by a very special Spiderman Comic about Aunt May

AFAB Reader, mentions of the worst time of the month, implications that the Yandere Twins have done very horrible things in the past, like kidnapping and non-con. Drugging

---

There was a certain level of ability to see fine details that was needed to date both of the Subway Masters. Their subtle nuances made them difficult to read if you didn't know them; Especially what mood Ingo was truly in. The twins doubled down on your ability to read them by frequently testing you for fun, finding ways to obscure their faces so you couldn't just use Ingo's lack of facial expressions as an immediate calling card.

This made you very good at reading the Twins.

Which meant you could tell when something wasn't right.

---

You were paying your boys a surprise visit in the Subway when they received reports of strange lights and sounds coming from one of the tunnels. The duo had left to investigate, leaving you to chat with the various depot agents and commuters. When the two of them came back, you ran up to greet them, but you paused when you saw the confused looks on their faces.

But they didn't look like they didn't know who you were.

They looked like they were wondering why you were here.

"Did you two goobers forget that I decided to visit you, today? I know things have been a little hectic today with whatever that weird light was, but jeez, some boyfriends you are!" You joked, watching them look at each other. They were doing their weird twin thing, where they just look at each other and have a silent conversation. You watched carefully as their eyes flicked between you and each other, before fully looking at you.

"Our apologies, darling, investigating the source of the light was quite distracting…" Ingo responded

"We will make sure to pay extra attention to you! We will be verrrrrry sure!" Emmet added.

While their tones were genuine, there was an unmistakable darkness that swirled in their silvery eyes.

These were not your boyfriends.

---

Every second with these Twins made your realization more and more painfully obvious. Their mannerisms were a perfect match for being authentically Ingo and Emmet, but… They behaved so differently when it specifically came to you. At least one of them stayed virtually glued to your hip at all times. They got super passive aggressive if anyone tried to approach you in any way. One of your friends that happened to be a Depot Agent wanted to talk to you about some ideas for what to paint their living room, only to be intimidated off. You knew it was the way Emmet was looking at them, you didn't even have to look.

You've heard about some of the madness that happened in Alola, so you were assuming that there was some Ultra Wormhole down that tunnel. Which means that these Twins were probably still genuinely Ingo and Emmet - Just not the ones from this world. Judging by how they behaved towards you, you likely existed in their world as well. But judging by how clingy they acted towards you, as if the entire world was trying to take you away from them… And that unsettling darkness that hid deep in their eyes… You had a sneaking suspicion that the relationship they had was anything but healthy.

You needed a break in the office to take some painkillers, your cramps becoming absolutely unbearable, and Emmet followed you in there. You sat on the small loveseat in the room, waiting for the pills to kick in, as Emmet cuddled you just a little too tightly. You were trying your best to tolerate it, but his hands were starting to get very frisky.

"Emmet, not right now… I'm not in the mood…" You sighed, trying to shoo his hands away.

"Awww, darling, you're being so meaaaan!" He whined playfully, his hot breath dancing on your shoulder as he snuggled into you, continuing to grope at you. Before you could continue to argue, he started to kneed at your breasts; which were unfortunately extremely tender and instantly sent shockwaves of pain throughout your body. The sharp yelp of pain you let out caused him to flinch back in confusion.

"Emmet! I said not right now! I'm on my period right now, and everything hurts!" You snapped at him, gently trying to massage your side. There was a slight twitch to his eye, and you watched his emotions juggle between an annoyance and a concern. You let out a hard sigh before he could say anything. "I'm sorry, honey, I shouldn't have yelled… I'm just… Being touched is way too much right now, I need space for my body to stop being bullshit… It wasn't nearly this bad this morning…" You muttered, holding your head in your hands as you looked to the floor. Oh man, you're starting to feel nauseated now…

You could feel Emmet's hand start to massage your back, taking a much more caring and gentle motion compared to the hungrier explorations from earlier.

"I'm verrrrrry sorry… I should have paid better attention…" He admitted, his expression becoming softer as you started to hum in content from the gentleness. You needed to keep their guards lowered as much as possible if you were going to figure out what happened to your actual boyfriends. You had a feeling it wouldn't end well if these two thought their time with you would be threatened.

Your thoughts were suddenly interrupted when he let out a startled yelp. You looked to see one of the many baby Joltiks your silly Emmet had hatched giving this false Emmet an aggressive bite. You couldn't help but chuckle a little; Of course the babies would recognize that this wasn't their perceived dad. They probably knew him better than he knew himself. You gently scooped up the little arachnid, looking at its huffy little eyes.

"Be careful, darling, that one must be wild-!" Emmet started in concern, but you cut him off.

"The little one's just feeling spicy!" You giggled, pulling out a small battery to give as a treat. You weren't surprised that this false Emmet didn't recognize one of the babies. "Are you hungry, sassy pants? Do you need something to do? How about you go make a picture for Auntie Elesa? You look like you could use a bigger project, so how about try to see if you can fit an Amoonguss?" You offered, setting the Joltik down near one of the many holes that they used to safely traverse the city. It chittered with conviction, taking the battery you offered and scuttled away. You could hear the false Emmet cooing and squeeing over how cutely you handled the little Joltik.

Good, he didn't catch on to what you were doing.

---

Elesa had a lot of risks, being such a high profile celebrity. While the percentage of people who would do something dangerous was low, it was never 0. As a result; You, her, Emmet, and Ingo came up with a secret messaging system using the Joltiks, for the event that someone would need to call for help without arousing suspicion. You guys came up with a selection of Pokemon for the Joltiks to draw in their webs, and it would mean different things. There were quite genuinely thousands of the tiny arachnids, and several of them proved to be very artistic. Even the ones that weren't were very efficient at sending messages across each other, ensuring that they got to their destination on schedule.

Because you couldn't let go of the joke, you insisted that the four of you associated Foongus and Amoonguss with "I am dealing with an Imposter."

None of you expected to actually need this specific message, but it was a good thing that you had it.

Very shortly after you sent the Joltik off, the false Ingo had peaked his head into the office.

"Is everything alright in here? I heard both of you shout…" He stated with concern.

"A little Joltik was feeling feisty and bit Emmet, so I sent it on its way with a snack and an art project!" You chime without a beat, giving him a calm smile.

"I am Emmet. I was too rough on them while their body is going through their menstrual cycle… Their body is verrrrrry sensitive right now…" Emmet sheepishly explained, both brothers looking at you. You could see the concern in both of their eyes, mixing dangerously with that darkness, making their shoulders tense. You decided to speak up before they could act on any ideas.

"I honestly think I just wanna go back home… The electric blanket you got me is still there, and it'll feel so nice to bundle up in the chair…" You admitted, scratching the side of your face. You could see Ingo starting to take a Pokeball out.

"If you're in as much pain as you are, I shall have Chandelure-" He started, but you cut him off.

"Ingo, I appreciate the concern, but you know that my cramps get better if I take the walk home. If you're worried about me, one of you can escort me home." You offered, walking up to give him a gentle kiss on his cheek. They had such a clear obsession over you, you had to work with it to make sure your plan would still work. The kiss definitely worked, as you watched this false Ingo turn bright red, sheepishly chuckling.

"No fair! I want one too!" False Emmet whined, trying to push himself in between. You made a chuckle, giving him a peck on the opposite cheek from his brother, earning gleeful giggles from him. "Brother, I think you should be the one to escort them home! I'm in the mood to battle some verrrrry strong trainers!" He offered, practically bouncing up and down. False Ingo nodded in understanding, holding out his arm for you to hold. You took it without hesitating, and the two of you began the walk back to yours and your boyfriend's apartment. You had to ask him to slow down a little, since your legs were still a little sore.

He kept you suffocatingly close the whole way.

---

You unlocked the door and made your way straight to the arm chair you remembered where you left the electric blanket. It was still there, thank goodness. You settled yourself straight into the chair, wrapping the blanket around yourself and turning it on high. It quickly started to heat up, and you could only let out a happy sigh from the comfort. False Ingo meandered about the apartment seemingly without reason, and you heard him call out your name.

"Why did one of the Joltiks create what looks like a Watchog in their web?" He asked you. You craned your neck around to look at where he was standing, and sure enough, there was a clear Joltik web with a Watchog formed within the web.

Watchog - "I am alert - Are you okay?" Good, Elesa got your message.

"That's part of the art project I sent that one Joltik off to do! I suggested it make an Amoonguss for Elesa, so she must be in the mood to keep it going!" You cooed. You watched the false Ingo attempt to pick up the Joltik, but it scurried away from him out of fear, heading straight to you. You watched him blink a few times in confusion.

"Why an Amoonguss..?" He questioned, approaching you. He looked more inquisitive than suspicious.

"Since that one Joltik bit Emmet, I assumed it was riled up about something. I wanted to suggest something a little more complicated to put in the web, so that it would have to think more about it. I thought something a little bigger, like an Amoonguss would be something complex enough, but still fit in the confines of a reasonable web. I couldn't ask the little guy to make a Hydreigon or something crazy like that…" You admitted, giving the Joltik that curled into your shoulder a gentle skritch. It stretched into your touch, giving very soft trills. It was impossible to miss how soft the false Ingo's face became, watching you curled up safely with the baby Pokemon nuzzled into your shoulder. Of course, there was a hint of worry in there as well, as if he expected something to happen to you if he walked away…

"May I suggest a nice long nap? Will you need me to ask Chandelure to use Hypnosis for you?"

Oh sweet Arceus, he was playing that game…

"I don't think that'll be needed, hun, I just need to let this blanket warm me up for a little bit." You answered, keeping your voice light and thoughtful.

"I insist, darling, if you are not feeling well, then-"

"It's not like I caught the flu, Ingo. It's just monthly grossness. My relief meds kicked in on the way here, and I just need this blanket to relax my muscles a little." You stood firm. If you allowed him to freely use Hypnosis on you, it would throw all hope of fixing this mess out the window. You watched him start to get stiff, a clear frustration on his face because of your lack of cooperation.

"Darling…" His voice was extremely stern. He might not let you have a choice, unless you came up with something fast. You remembered your dinner plans for the night.

"I just really wanted to surprise you…" You muttered softly, looking disappointed. You watched him relax a bit, tilting his head in curiosity. "I finally found it… My great grandma's pierogi recipe… The one my dad grew up with… I wanted to make them for you two as a surprise for when you got home from work… You know how heavily I sleep, so I'm just worried I won't have time to make sure they're done…" Your face scrunched in disappointment, looking out the window next to the chair despondent. You felt him place a gentle hand on your arm.

"I'm so sorry, darling, I didn't realize you planned so hard for this…" The false Ingo's voice sounded deeply apologetic, and you looked up at him to confirm that he looked as sorry as he sounded. Even when he's not the right Ingo, his eyes were still very easy to read. He was carefully reconsidering his options. "Very well, I will trust your judgment… I just…" He trailed off for a moment, thinking deeply.

"May I have your phone and keys?"

Your eyes squinted slightly at the request. Your phone and keys. Without them, it ensures that you are completely cut off from the outside world… At least not including the Joltiks.

"Why..?" You questioned. It was very difficult to hide your suspicion of him at this specific point. You watched him bite his lower lip slightly, cogs turning in his head.

"I… Misplaced mine…"

He was definitely lying through his teeth.

You let out a hard sigh, pinching the bridge of your nose. The more you fought against him, the more difficult he was going to make this for you… Fortunately, you already wrote the recipe down to put in your recipe box, but…

"Fine…" You sighed out, passing him the requested items. "But I'm going to want to have a long with you both about what's going on." You insisted, looking into his eyes strongly. He paused for a moment, before planting a kiss on your forehead.

"Of course, darling…" He agreed gently, before straightening out and heading out the door. "We will be sure to be home as scheduled."

"Yeah, alright…" You sighed, getting yourself comfy in the blanket. "Love you…"

You could see his eyes light up in an unnatural bliss. It didn't surprise you that such a phrase made him so happy.

"I love you too, darling! We will see you later tonight!" He exclaimed with a bubbly voice, before closing the door and locking it. You let out a sigh, looking back at the Joltik.

"Make a Crustle for Elesa…" You told the little one, putting them on the window sill. It chittered and scuttled off to deliver your message.

Crustle - "I am trapped at home."

You sighed again as you let yourself warm up in your blanket, before carefully planning out your course of action.

It was a good thing he clearly didn't know you as well as he thought he did.

Your great grandmother never wrote her pierogi recipe, and your boys knew that. You were just in the mood to try and make them because you knew you liked them.

Now to see if the Joltiks can do another favor for you…

---

You would be lying if you said you didn't feel bad for stealing someone's Zolpidem. If someone needed sedatives of this caliber, it meant they had pretty bad insomnia. But given the severity of the situation, you needed to act fast before you just disappeared entirely. The Joltiks were invaluable in this delicate operation, bringing you the bottle of medicine and returning what wasn't needed. You timed it all as carefully as you could, to ensure that the pierogi would be nice and hot for their return. You could hear the two of them approach the door, but they paused. You could faintly hear their whispers to each other.

"…-urn home as quickly as possible with them…"

"Yes, of course… We will h-… -utious… We don't have the same connect-… Most of everyone will attempt to…"

"-delure will be most invaluable… Be ready to use Hypnosis-…"

"-t believe we will have two of our darling… All to ourselves…"

You swallowed hard, carefully making your way back to the table to set sour cream in the center of it. They were planning on abducting you tonight… If things didn't work…

You took a deep breath. No, this will work. It had to. You put on a brave face, and looked towards the door as the lock clicked to the unlocked position

"Welcome home, you two!" You chimed with as welcoming of a smile as you could muster. The false Ingo's expression was warm and fulfilling as he saw you put the plate on the table. The false Emmet's eyes widened in wonder as he sniffed the air, looking at the plate.

"What is this, darling?" He asked excitedly, virtually bouncing in place. It was almost adorable, were it not for the truth…

"Awww, you didn't tell him? You're so sweet!" You sang happily at the false Ingo, who hid his face behind his hat sheepishly from the attention.

"Yes, well… You had clearly put so much thought into the surprise, it felt right to try and salvage as much of it as possible…" He admitted, his brother looking between the two of them with wide eyes filled with wonder. "I had… Accidentally forced them to reveal their surprise to me. They had found their great grandmother's recipe, and wanted to share it with us." The false Ingo explained.

"What kind of recipe?" The false Emmet asked with excitement, running toward the table, a line of drool clearly seen at the corner of his mouth.

"Pierogi!" You chimed happily, sitting down at your plate. "It's a kind of dumpling that's found in areas near the Galar Region." You explained as you started to eat one of them. You watched the false Emmet sit himself as quickly as he could in one of the empty chairs, immediately trying the first dumpling. The false Ingo was very shortly after, also taking a bite.

You couldn't help but let out a blissful sigh; They turned out really well.

"Bravo, darling! These are absolutely lovely!" The false Ingo cheered.

"Verrrrrrrry delicious!" The false Emmet confirmed, happily scarfing down a second and a third. There was a part of you that still felt very happy, knowing that someone enjoyed your cooking…

Even if there was a very real risk that they would hurt you.

As you expected from any Emmet, this false one ate his pierogi a lot faster than his brother, even stealing the last one of the false Ingo's plate and scarfing it down before either of you could stop him.

"Emmet, let your brother eat his. As terrifying as this situation is for me, I would still rather you not be overdosed…" You stated calmly.

You could feel the tension thicken in the air.

"…What do you mean, darling…" The false Ingo asked carefully, looking very tense. You stole a quick glance at the false Emmet - He was already starting to sway.

"I don't know how you expected me to not notice, really. You two don't belong in this world. You two are not my boyfriends; my Ingo and Emmet." You stared deep into the false Ingo's with a knowing conviction, standing up. He tried to move to let one of his Pokemon out, but thanks to the sedatives taking hold of him, you were faster. Separating his Pokemon from him and keeping him sat in his chair. A soft "thud" signaled that the false Emmet had passed out.

"How… Did you…" The false Ingo started to slur out, trying desperately to stay awake.

"It was right away, the moment you saw me. My boyfriends already knew I was there and were happy to see me visit. When you came by, you looked at me like I wasn't supposed to be there." You explained curtly, taking your phone back from his pocket, along with your keys. You quickly went to Emmet's room to grab some rope - You were sure he wouldn't mind if you used this for self defense. You came back and carefully tied both of the false Twins securely to their chairs, false Ingo attempting to resist.

"Of course, you both also didn't recognize the Emergency Pictographs that me and my boys came up with to use with Elesa in events that we could not message as normal. That was also a big tell. Or the fact that none of my sweet Emmet's Joltiks recognized you." You continued, snapping a picture of the bound twins to send to Elesa, gesturing to a hoard of Joltiks hiding in a corner. All of the tiny Pokemon glared at the pair of twins with a fearful disdain. "You don't even know that my great grandmother never wrote her pierogi recipe. My boys most certainly know that, but also know I just enjoy pierogis regardless."

"I'm safe now, I caught them." You sent, the picture connected. You looked back at the false Ingo; His eyes held a whole slew of emotions. One including betrayal.

"Why… Are you…" He tried to ask. You had to admit it, his resistance towards the sedative was impressive. It's a good thing his brother only ate one extra, he may have been able to still overwhelm you if he had less.

"You were pretty quiet out in the hall, but I still heard enough. About you being "ready to use Hypnosis" from your Chandelure. How excited you two were to have two of me…" The words were spat out like they were venom in your mouth, your eyes a steely glare upon the older twin. Your phone buzzed, and you checked it.

"Great job, sweetie! Guess who I found along the way!" Elesa shared a picture of Ingo and Emmet. The both of them looked overwhelmingly concerned, and had what looked like you piggybacking on Ingo's back. The way this other you clung to Ingo like a lifeline… You had a sneaking suspicion you knew what they had gone through… "Me and Emmet are coming by! Ingo is going to stay at my place for a little bit until things settle down ♥'' You couldn't help but smile warmly at the realization that your boys were back and safe. You sat back in the arm chair, wrapping the blanket around you, then looked at the hoard of babies in the corner.

"C'mere, babies! Daddy's gonna be home soon!" You sang sweetly, the hoard chittering with glee and swarming upon you. You couldn't help but steal a glance at the false Ingo; There was an unmistakable panic in his eyes as he realized that you were talking about your actual boyfriends; The Ingo and Emmet from this world. He likely didn't know what they would do to him for threatening you, but he was definitely getting ideas. You decided to just let him stew in his fear, quietly enjoying your time with the Joltiks.

---

A series of knocks snapped you out of your relaxed stupor, causing you to look up at the door. You heard Elesa's voice call your name on the other side of the door.

"Me and Emmet are making our grand entrance~ Are you okay in there?" Her voice sang.

"The door's open! Come on in!" You called, carefully digging your way out of the pile and standing up. You braced for the inevitable impact as the door clicked open, showing Elesa and Emmet; Your proper Emmet. He cried your name out as he came barreling in at full speed, virtually tackling you in his embrace.

"I've read verrrrrry horrible things! Horrible, nasty, awful things!!! You're not hurt, are you?!" He cried, checking you over meticulously. You couldn't help but laugh, giving him a comforting kiss on his forehead.

"I'm just fine, Emmet. There was no way I was gonna let them do anything to me." You told him, pressing your forehead against his. "I knew they weren't you or your brother right away, they weren't gonna catch me off guard. Especially since your Joltiks were very protective of me." The both of you looked at the small hoards of Joltik rush towards Emmet, chittering happily at their dad. He laughed happily, scooping up as many Joltiks as he could before embracing you again, spinning you in circles.

"You're so verrrrrrrry smart! All of you, so smart!" He chimed happily, before his eyes suddenly caught a glance of the alternate twins still tied to their chairs. The false Emmet started waking up, looking around in a confused daze until he saw the party that was staring back at him. He opened his mouth to say something, but upon seeing himself glaring daggers at him, he shut it. Emmet's body was shaking in fury as he looked at the two of them, barely being held back by your reassuring hand on his arm.

"They're not worth it, Em…" You told him calmly.

"Verrrrrrry cruel…" He spat in their direction, his mouth curled into a snarl. "They claimed it was for love. You don't force yourself on the one you love. You don't lock them away. Take them away from those who care about them. Keep them tied for months. Write logs on how they're breaking down like it's the greatest gift you could receive…"

"I don't expect you to understand." The false Emmet sneered in return, not even flinching when your Emmet focused all of his attention on his alternate.

"I am Emmet. I don't want to understand. I prefer knowing I can trust my darling. That they can go out with their friends without me, and can give unruly drunks a black eye for getting handsy. I prefer knowing that they trust me with all of their heart and aren't afraid of me should I get angry." The way his body shook and his voice cracked as he said that last line… Dear Arceus, what kinds of things did he read..?

"I have InterPol on their way, Em. I dunno how far their jurisdiction can go since these two are from an alternate world, but they'll at least make sure that they can't cause any more harm here." Elesa comments, going through her phone. Ever since she received word that the Twins weren't acting right, followed by the initial Joltik Message, she had been on top of Social Network Control. She needed to keep the situation as relaxed as possible, lest these two panic and lash out. She also needed to make sure that her friends' reputation didn't get tarnished

"If I may ask… Where is your brother..?" The false Ingo asked carefully, his eyes carefully looking around the room. Your Emmet's jaw clenched tightly for a moment, contemplating. Eventually…

"Ingo is taking a moment at Elesa's. He was more upset than me at what we learned, and does not want to act rash. I would rather him let loose, but I will let him calm down." He jumped ever so slightly when you took his hand, looking at you with a tense yet confused look.

"Do you want to sit on the couch..?" You offered, a little worried about him. He let out a sigh, his shoulders slumping as he simply nodded. You led him to the couch and pulled him close, scritching his head. He let out a second long sigh, melting into your touch. This was going to be a long night.

---

The International Police were surprisingly understanding of the situation, very quickly identifying the Wormhole Signature that clung to the false Emmet and Ingo and finding that said Wormhole was still open, sending them back home from whence they came. They admitted that as much as they would like to send the two to prison for their crimes, they were sadly outside of jurisdiction due to the Wormhole still being open. But they were sure to make sure that the InterPol on the other side was made aware of their actions. Shortly after everyone was certain that the two were gone, Ingo made his way back home, opening the door for someone hiding just around the corner.

"Are you certain you wish to enter? I do truly understand if you would rather be anywhere else…" His voice was gentle and soothing, yet still filled with pain. After a few moments, he nodded in understanding, and you watched your other self carefully peak inside. This other you was so different compared to you; Extremely skittish, checking each and every inch for potential danger. Angry bruises and scars from constraints clung to Not Quite You's wrists, and their legs were shaking under the weight. They looked to you, who looked so much more comfortable and healthy, as you gently continued to scritch Emmet's head, who had since fallen asleep. You gently shook him awake, asking him to let you up. He nodded in understanding, shifting to lay his head on the armrest of the couch. This whole adventure took a lot out of him, and he honestly just wanted to nap for the first time in a while.

"Hey, uh… Welcome to my world, I guess…" You muttered awkwardly, standing up to offer your hand to the other you. The other you hesitantly looked at your hand, and suddenly turned to look at Ingo, almost fearfully, as if to gauge his reaction. He looked at their expression sadly, trying his best to look non threatening.

"What you wish to do is your choice to make…" He explained calmly, punctuating the sentence by calling them by your name. He clearly wanted to be as gentle and polite with this other you as possible, probably to try and create some distance between himself and the horrifying monster that shared his face. Your other self nodded in understanding, taking your hands. You got a much better look at the scars that dotted their wrists.

"Let's take care of these and get you something to eat…" You sighed. "Ingo, can you go get the first aid?" You asked, watching him nod in understanding and make his way to where the first aid was stored. He made it a point to move carefully by the other you so as not to startle them, bringing you the first aid kit. You, meanwhile, pulled forward the plate of good pierogis that weren't laced with sedatives, offering one to the other you. They gratefully accepted the offer, humming happily from the food. You carefully put ointment on their wrists, wrapping them in bandages, and giving them gentle rubs. Ingo had since located himself to the couch.

"It's warm here… I like it…" Your other self commented, their shoulders relaxing.

"Thank you… The three of us worked hard to make it nice and comfortable…" You chuckled, stealing a glance at the Twins. They looked so exhausted from their sudden adventure. You didn't really blame them. "What do you… Plan on doing? Now that you're in this world..?" You ask, turning to look back at them. They fiddled their fingers awkwardly.

"I, uh… Was… Wondering if I could… Stay here… For a little bit at least…" The other you muttered. The boys lifted their heads and turned to look at the table.

"Are you certain..?" Ingo asked carefully, very concerned for their well being.

"I am Emmet. Myself and Ingo would feel much better if you go where you wish. You do not need to stay here, if you do not desire to." Emmet added. You watched your alternate bite their lower lip lightly in thought.

"It's… Kinda complicated… Part of it is… I dunno… It's… Smaller, I guess..?" The other you tried to explain. Fortunately, you had an idea what they were trying to say.

"You're more nervous about the openness of the rest of the world, compared to an apartment. The idea is overwhelming…" You explained, watching the other you nod as you explained their thoughts so well.

"The other, is just… While the layout is familiar… It… Feels different… They… They always tried to force me to consider their apartment as home, but… It always felt so distant… Cold… Here is warm… I… I actually feel… Kinda safe here… It's not my home, but… It feels like a home…" The other you admitted with a soft smile. You couldn't help but make a warm smile in return.

"It'll be a little crowded, but… We'll be more than happy to provide you the safe space you need." You offered, giving the other you a reassuring hand on their arm.

"Myself and Emmet will do our best to not overwhelm you." Ingo added. Your other self nodded slightly in understanding.

It was going to be a difficult healing process, but you had a feeling it was going to work.

[hanniejji]

cat!kazuha and cat!xiao hcs

[ cat!kazuha, cat!xiao x reader]

summary: baby bois as cats yes

note: the amount of research i did just to find the perfect cat breed and actually choose between which breed looks better can put my academic research thesis to shame | m.list

warnings: hella fluffy and someone getting scratched by xiao lmao, also im sleepy so i might miss a thing or two ackskd

your first cat is xiao, a small grey british shorthair with bright amber eyes!

you found him in an alley on your way home as a kitten, he was inside this ragged box with four other kittens. the first time you saw them, you couldn't even approach them because the biggest one—you couldn't tell what breed it was because of the matted black fur—but he was protecting the four smaller kittens in the box, hissing at you whenever you got too close. so you decided to leave a can of tuna and left the alley. since then, you consistently feed them every time you pass by the alley

you didn't know when it started happening, but the other kittens with xiao that time—who was the runt of the litter—started disappearing until only a small dirty kitten was left

"oh my," you gasped at the small grey kitten almost crawling its way to the can of tuna that you left beside the box, hoping to see the other bigger kittens flock around the can.

but alas, only the tiny one of the five came out. the poor thing was shivering from the light rain showers, the box was too damaged to give him any protection and he was very frail, wobbling and tripping on his way to the food you left. you couldn't possibly leave him alone after this.

quietly approaching him after he's done eating—he couldn't even finish the whole thing by himself—you clicked your tongue to call his attention, crouching down.

he snapped his head towards you at the sound, his mewls sounding like a squeak more than a meow.

"hi there," you lowered your hand to the ground, letting him sniff around and weakly swat your hand away, chuckling at his attempts to look intimidating.

he looks way too tiny to be scary.

"i'm sorry if you're against me taking you, but i really don't want to leave you like this."

carefully wrapping your scarf around his tiny body—which was still shivering and attempting to claw at you, he did stop once he felt the warmth from your scarf, immediately purring—you made your way home with a tiny bundle of fluff in your arms.

xiao was a very hissy kitten the first few days that you took him in. he hides under the couch, pushes himself at the corners of the room, and runs away whenever he feels your presence after eating

cleaning him after taking him from that dirty box was disastrous and painful :']

but he slowly comes around! you'd see him peeking out of his hiding place and watching you intently seeing his glowing amber orbs watching you from the corner of your eyes was kinda scary tho, he stops running away when you're in the same room, sitting a few distance away from you, sleeping and relaxing out of his hiding place, and then actually letting you touch him

it's a few months worth of waiting, but it's alright! he trust you now, enough that he even does the loaf thing on your lap and sleeps there, purring whenever you start scratching at his ears :'>

after getting his trust, xiao progressively becomes gentle and soft around you!

he doesn't like biting or scratching you, so even if he detest being carried to the bathroom he sucks it up and has the most grumpy look a cat can possibly have when you're bathing him T^T

when he doesn't want any more pats, he'd gently put his paw on your hand or bite your finger sooo carefully, like it's such a soft nom, before giving you a look and prancing away to his cat tree or box

xiao is such a well behaved cat too! he's quiet most times, only meowing softly when you call out his name. he doesn't make a mess and can be found sleeping on high places like the top of your cabinet, on his hammock, the highest box on the cat tree, or under the couch/bed

when he's in the mood for it, he'd sleep in your arms as long as you don't move a lot

cute moments with xiao include him letting you mess with his face. y'know, letting you pinch his cheeks and pat his belly, pretend that you're eating his cheeks, kneading his paw on your thigh which sometimes hurts but that's ok lmao, bumping his nose with you while you sleep before scurrying away and waiting for you by the window to come home :>

he'd also have moments where his bright eyes would scare you hhnhnh

he has a grey coat that you can't easily see in the dark, so it sometimes catches you off guard when you suddenly see a pair of golden eyes from the bottom of your bed or at the top of your closet/desk just watching you sleep

he's guarding you, don't mind him, go back to sleep >:)

other than the occasional fright, he's a very good baby… until someone that's not you enters the house :D

he'll know someone's at the door in an instant, quietly hissing at the direction before zooming up at the top of his cat tree and hiding there but you can still see his eyes peeking from the tree house hole, staring at whoever's your visitor

he despises visitors >:)

if they even try to get close to him he nyooms away at the speed of light or swats their hand away

moments like this, you'd hear him yowl loudly—which is very rare—baring his fangs at the visitor. at this point, anyone would stand back, but if for some reason they don't? yikes, i hope you have a med kit prepared :') a certain ginger friend of yours had bandages wrapped around his hand after provoking a grumpy xiao ackskd

but if it's you? he immediately stops yowling and instead makes whiny mewls as soon as you pick him up to keep him away from the visitor

he'll get more grumpy if you put him in your room while you still have visitors! he wants to guard you! let him out right this instant! >:(

if you don't, you'll open your door room to a very very grumpy and sulky cat who won't look at you for a while lmao

don't worry tho, a few kisses to his litol forehead and some tofu would make him feel better!

xiao prefers to stay indoor and doesn't always go out of the house, but when he does, you'd find him just sitting near the window in a loaf position, just watching his surroundings. he'll only spend less than two hours outside before going back to snuggle the blanket on the couch

on some occasions, he drops a pretty leaf or stone on your side as a gift before prancing away

kazuha's the prettiest flame point siamese!

you didn't adopt him or rescued him, in fact, he adopted you, pitiful human

kazuha came out of nowhere! one day, he just started to show up in front of your house and hangs around your window, mewling softly whenever xiao comes near to observe this new feline, as if kazuha's greeting xiao :> that's how xiao got used to kazuha's presence and doesn't try to fight him away oof

whenever you get home, you'd see him chilling on the nearest tree by your house. it's like an automatic response for him to wake up the moment you get close. he'd stretch and make his way down the tree to greet you with a meow, brushing against your legs to have you pet him. he'll follow you and stop right in front of the entrance of your house, loafing by the railing and going back to sleep

"oh? hello there."

kazuha mewls back to greet you, making his way off the tree and prancing towards you. crouching down, he brushes his head against your legs and mewls, staring up at you with those pretty eyes.

"you're a sweet one, aren't you?"

he mewls once again, purring loudly once you start scratching behind his ears. you've been seeing him around the neighborhood lately, walking around the park and sometimes sleeping by random trees. you didn't know when he started hanging around your house, but whenever he sees you by the streets, he'd instantly meow loudly as if to say 'hey!' and runs towards you. he'll follow you on the way home after that, sometimes brushing against your legs.

he's a little menace though, purposely walking in between your feet to make you fumble around trying not to trip over him.

"there's some food by the house if you get hungry little man."

he meows delightfully and somehow, he kind of looks like he's smiling at you.

the first few days that he hangs around the entrance, you'd leave the door open incase he wants to come inside and leave a can of tuna by the door

that's how you found kazuha and xiao by the entrance! kazuha just cleaning himself and xiao sleeping beside him :'>

and then the day comes where he frightens you by suddenly emerging from your sofa table! he's meowing to greet you with xiao just watching from his hammock with a disinterested look

kazuha's a very chill cat like xiao! but he's more vocal and has bursts of energy where he randomly runs around the house to chase after an imaginary insect. you'd see him jump to catch a fly or suddenly zoom across the room to pounce at a cockroach or dust and is a constant victim of the laser toy :] imagine kazuha chasing leaves outside :'>

this always snaps xiao awake from his nap before plopping down to go back to sleep

kazuha is quick to adjust around the house! you always see him snooping around the furniture, jumping over the counter and sniffing around. whenever you have something to do, he'd sit beside you and watch what you were doing. until he gets clingy and meows for attention, then you won't get shit done :'D

remember tho, he's a little menace!

y'know the thing where a cat stares at you and an object, before swatting the object to the ground? that's kazuha, but he does it with his tail :)

whenever you're writing something, he'd sit on the notebook or your keyboard to distract you from whatever you're doing, meowing as if to say 'pay attention to me please' or 'hehehe'

he catches you lying on your back? he's loafing on your stomach or kneading it softly :D

but other than those mischievous moments, he's a good boy who doesn't always make a mess!

he's also very friendly! he still hangs around outside and will greet anyone that passes by with a happy meow and let them pet him for a while, and your friends love him! he even looks like he strives off the attention your friends give him lmao T^T

he's that one aesthetic cat that you'd take photogenic pictures of while he just rolls around the grass and sleeps on trees

but sometimes he prefers to just sit by xiao, watching humans do their human thing

xiao and kazuha get along very well! they're both very chill and are not loud or messy

you'd expect xiao to be wary of a different cat entering your house, but he seems fine around kazuha. you'd catch the two of then sleeping outside right next to each other, just two little boys hanging around :']

the cutest thing is that kazuha sometimes tries to clean xiao HNNHNHNH

y'know how some cats clean other cats? that's kazuha towards xiao, acting like a mother cat to the grumpy kid who just wants to sleep peacefully

he does this every time! kazuha would just walk past a sleeping xiao and just start to lick his forehead and he wouldn't stop for a while until xiao wakes up and paws at his face to push him away :'D

kazuha retaliates by pawing at his face back and continuing ackck

when kazuha starts sleeping in your bed, xiao is prompted to do the same! they are either snuggling on one side of the bed or sleeping on each side of your head

xiao is a chill boy, but when kazuha starts getting his bursts of energy? xiao is forced to deal with him until kazuha falls asleep, like, they're just rolling and chasing each other around the house or outside the grass until kazuha gets tired and they walk back in, the both of them falling fast asleep on the couch cuddled together or they invade the space on your lap/stomach while you rest on the couch/bed

it's heaven, really, because they're both purring and you take so many pictures of them asleep like that :')

both xiao and kazuha hate loud noises. they'd snap awake and alert once they hear a loud noise, xiao starts yowling and kazuha approaches wherever the sound came from. if they hear another noise though, they'll both zoom to wherever you are before snuggling near you to hide from the sound :(

bathing them is not bad! kazuha enjoys swimming around the tub while xiao just let's you do whatever you want with an occasional meow to complain :')

overall, they're both very behaved and never cause too many problems!

in conclusion, get a xiao and kazuha cat :'>

[moonandsunwoo]

Eric Sohn as your boyfriend

➛ eric sohn x reader (I dont think I used any pronouns but feel free to comment if I missed it!) fluff

➛ listen to: let me in (20 Cube) by ENHYPEN

➛ warnings: some mild swearing, there is suggestive content under the second cut but not fullblown nsfw

❥...!𝐡𝐨𝐰 𝐲𝐨𝐮 𝐦𝐞𝐞𝐭:

Eric quite literally fell for you

and it was a painful fall at that, your freshly bought succulent adding some extra weight and definition to the whole tragedy

also because the dirt spilled everywhere and your poor Echeveria plant got yeeted right under a moving bus - because of course it would

and Eric just panicked

Like if he could have moved from beneath you, he would have definitely considered just going for it because oh my god the embarrassment

And then he looked up and you had about the prettiest face Eric could even imagine

So that made it ten million times worse

Luckily Sangyeon didn't raise no bitch

Luckily, Sangyeon also saw what happened from inside of the building, alongside Hyunjae and Jacob who had sent the poor boy running in the first place

Alright, technically Eric sent himself almost tripping out of the facility himself, because he forgot about the existence of bus times

Therefore he had to sprint to catch the bus

Well he didn't, funny enough, your poor succulent however did

-.-

it resulted in Jacob sweet-talking you from your initial shock into a state of almost comfort and Eric wishing he could have that kind of effect on people

it resulted in Jacob sweet-talking you from your initial shock into a state of almost comfort and Eric wishing he could have that kind of effect on people

it resulted in Jacob sweet-talking you from your initial shock into a state of almost comfort and Eric wishing he could have that kind of effect on people

But noooo he just had to run them over

He went and did pick the succulent up tho

or more like, tried to scrape the mashed up remains from off the pavement until you told him that it was no use anyways

That succulent was mush and so were Erics hopes of catching that last bus to get to class on time

So he offers you to go buy a new plant with him (after class though, because Sangyeon already gave him a warning death glare)

And whilst he wasn't as smooth as he had wished he was, you happily agreed

because damn he was cute alright

You guys did meet up after his class ended and you had a blast to say the least

and Eric came home with a cactus himself and a huge massive crush on you

Tries not to flex that he got your number and fails

Can't stop talking about you for the rest of the week because wow you guys just clicked so well and and and

Sunwoo would obviously never not call this a date btw and Eric would blush every time.

❥..!𝐲𝐨𝐮𝐫 𝐫𝐞𝐥𝐚𝐭𝐢𝐨𝐧𝐬𝐡𝐢𝐩:

Took him some time tbh

Simply because even though it was obvious, he still couldn't believe that someone like you fell for him

You guys went on so so many dates shopping sprees, small trips ect. and checked out almost every cafe that was near (for scientific purposes ofc. to see where the best coffee would get served. wink wonk)

to the point where he even took you to meet the rest of the boyz

And no one really believed that you guys were just friends

because you weren't

Well luckily he got over himself one day

and confess he did, just maybe he was so rushed and mumbly with it, and probably switching between every language he knew, that he had to do it twice

At least he made you feel special lmao

When you confessed your feelings to him too, he just kinda sat there for a second

Like 'wow it's that easy??'

He felt like he skipped an important step in an instruction book

Like a math problem that was too easy to be that simple

Would have his moment of megalomania right after because you ✨liked ✨him✨ back✨

We all know how competitive he can get, the good man

So prepare yourself for battling out the most basic things

will make everything a competition if he can

will also lose, like more than fifty percent of the time but its okay

just kiss him afterwards or something

That will send him into a hormonal overdrive instantly

Not that he would admit it tho hahah

Heeee??? flustered because you did as much kiss him???? ᵃⁿᵈ ʷʰᵃᵗ ᶦᶠ ʰᵉ ʷᵃˢ

Please wear his clothes

Can be anything, really; his shirt, sweater, hoodie, his huge jackets or a pair of sweats

Do it and he will melt and only grin dopey for the rest of the night

The type of boyfriend to wake you up at 3AM because he swears he heard someone knock against the window no kidding

on the third floor

he had a nightmare, just hold him

Can't cook, will however try to impress you with his cooking skills none the less

Hey at least he cleans up afterwards *ahem* sunwoo *ahem*

if you cant already do it, he'd probably love trying to go skating with you

would one hundred percent be the most patient you had ever seen him and so proud after every accomplishment no matter how tiny

Will ramble about his day to you

Will get all loud and boast-y if you decide to visit him at the studio

"HEY BABE LOOK I CAN DO TWELVE FLIPS BLINDFOLDED-"

"Eric no."

Eager kisser, I just want to say it again

Will buy you a succulent every anniversary. Guaranteed.

Very unlike how he is when your like alone and sinning (lol sry)

Very gentle with you, asks like seven thousand times if its okay and if you're comfortable

kinda scared that he could do something wrong, kinda insecure about himself

Maybe you’re even his first time and he's just so unsure oh dear

Like what if you dont like it oh my god what if he does something WRONG

knocks out almost immediately after sex, after giving his best to take care of you

Very much into cuddling afterwards, but don't ever bring it up he will yeet

I know many people might disagree with that but I will gladly die on that hill alright

˗ˏˋ꒰ 🪴 ꒱

[ssamie]

epilogue. “your girlfriend’s kinda hot”

kozume kenma x fem dazai!reader

(bsd x hq)

tw: mentions of suicide and suggestive themes + dirty jokes

masterlist.          suicide freak!

"hey uh, welcome to my stream i guess" he said as he spared the camera a quick glance "im not really playing tonight because an incident has recently occurred in this household" kenma said with a tired sigh 

nobody else knew it, but the said 'incident' was y/n accidentally setting half of their living room on fire 

the reason? apparently, she wanted to try burning herself to death in the furnace. obviously, it didn't work. and all that's left from that is more shit for kenma to clean up and a trip to yosano-san. 

kenma is stressed. and y/n is still alive. both of them are facing problems. 

"can you please wear a maid outfit- no."

kenma shook his head as he continued playing, glancing at the chat once in a while to read the veiwers' questions and comments

╭─━━━━━━━━━━━━─╮

user: how about cat ears?! 

user: ^^ cATBOY CATBOY CATBOY 

user: u suck at this game wtf

kuroo.tetsu: hey kenma ;) 

╰─━━━━━━━━━━━━─╯

"first of all, i do not suck at minecraft thank you very much" kenma scoffed 

"second of all, go away kuroo. im still mad at you" 

╭─━━━━━━━━━━━━─╮

user: LMFAOOO kuroo what did u do?? 💀💀

user: he probably broke kenma's pc 

user: PLSS he's the one kenma’s throwing shade at on twitter 

kuroo.tetsu: STOP THE SLANDER 😔✋🏼

user: rooster head lookin ass 

user: ^^ NOT THE HAIR 

kuroo.testsu: 😃😃

╰─━━━━━━━━━━━━─╯

kenma sighed as he continued building a cute little cottage. he was currently vibing, just building y/n a cute cottage for her to probably burn later on. 

and he decided it would be nice to go on stream since his oh-so-lovely girlfriend was still out for work. 

ah yes, kenma has somehow kept y/n alive all those years. 

barely. 

hence why his phone was being bombarded with messages from her, all of which being blurry selfies. 

the photos had her sporting a huge grin while atsushi panicked in the background. 

╭─━━━━━━━━━━━━─╮

user: ayo, ur phone's blowing up 

user: do you have a girlfriend? 

user: KODZUKEN LET ME SUCK UR TOES 😋😋🤩

user: ^ ayo chill 😃

╰─━━━━━━━━━━━━─╯

kenma simply ignored them and continued on with his task. all was going well until a loud slam was heard. his cat-like eyes widened as he heard a familiar voice singing from downstairs, it was undoubtedly y/n. 

kenma chuckled nervously and muted his mic. 

but of course, cute dumb catboy didn't actually mute his mic. haha <3

he ignored all the questions in the chat, all of them being  speculations that he has a girlfriend. which he does, but they simply did not need to know that <3

"kenma~" she yelled out "i have a surprise for you!!" she said, followed by menacing giggles. 

kenma glanced at the camera before hopping off his gaming chair and peeking his head out of the door. 

"y/n, im streaming!! stay down there!" he yelled out in panic 

"aw, you're playing hard to get aren't ya?" she chuckled 

kenma deadpanned as he saw her limping up the stairs, with her bandages torn and unravelled, same with her clothes. he didn't really think much of it since this is usually how she comes home. 

its most likely just due to work and/or another suicide attempt.

"so, kenma.. you'll never know what just happened to me today" she started off with a goofy grin 

"im streaming, atleast let me turn it off first-" 

she paid no mind to him as she peeled off her ruined coat and pointed to her poorly bandaged stomach

"i got stabbed!" 

"you got what?!"

kenma furrowed his brows as he immediately rushed over to his side, cradling her face and waist as he inspected her injuries

"are you okay, kitten?" he asked worriedly 

"yep, apparently it wasnt deep enough to be fatal" she sighed dejectedly 

"please don't be sad about that." kenma groaned "can you undress?" 

"ara ara~ whats this?" she cooed "you're getting real bold, kenma" she smirked at him 

she unbuttoned her shirt and started pulling down on her skirt "but since you asked so nicely-" 

kenma simply sighed and shook his head. "i was gonna prepare you a bath but now im considering leaving you here to die" 

"but the second option would've been better though" she smiled at him 

"oh my fucking god." 

kozume kenma. (22)

╰─▸ university student, stock trader, pro-gamer, youtuber, ceo of bouncing ball lpt. 

╰─▸ y/n's struggling boyfriend. definitely needs a pay after all he's been through.

╰─▸ currently panicking because his girlfriend got stabbed.

l/n y/n. (22)

╰─▸ operative/member of the armed detective agency. 

╰─▸ kenma's girlfriend. kinda dumb, very hot to compensate for it. still hasn't died yet. 

╰─▸ currently bleeding and wounded. also hoping for severe blood loss.

"kenma, did you know" she mused in a teasing tone "lack of sleep and too much stress could possibly lead to poor memory and lack of awareness" 

kenma looked up at her with a look of confusion. he was currently kneeled down before her while she was sat on the bed as he cleaned her wound up with a damp towel. 

"why are you telling me this?" he asked 

"i just thought it probably applied to you" she snickered 

"why? i didnt forget anything-" 

he cut himself off with a huge intake of air. he slowly turned his head to look at the screen which still had his stream going on. to make it worse, the camera was on and they were both clearly in the camera's field of view. 

to make things worse worse, his mic was on the whole time and the live chat was in shambles. 

"i hate it here" he sighed 

kenma laid his head on her lap as he continued on patching her up, honestly not caring that this whole scene was being recorded for thousands or millions of people to see. 

"well, atleast the internet could finally see my beauty before i die" she laughed 

she ran her fingers through kenma's hair as he grumbled under his breath. kenma was a pretty private person. he made sure not to overshare, given his current 'influencer' status. and he was planning on keeping his relationship a secret, though it seems he can't do that anymore. 

"might as well say hi" she shrugged 

so of course, she then decided to walk up to the camera looking utterly dishevelled and roughed up. 

for context, the newly wrapped bandages around her stomach was being stained already by a crimson red hue and it was only getting worse the more she moved, undoubtedly messing up her wound. 

"hi, im kenma's girlfriend and if i see you flirting with him i will make you regret it" she grinned 

"y/n!" kenma groaned from the bed "you're close to dying right now, turn the stream off" 

ignoring him, she proceeded to read the veiwers' comments, laughing at some of them while she joked around. 

╭─━━━━━━━━━━━━─╮

user: heLLO?!?! 

user: GE HAS A GIRLFRIEND NOOO

user: bruh, did i just hear that right? were you fuckin stabbed? 

user: ur kinda hot tho

╰─━━━━━━━━━━━━─╯

kenma furrowed his brows as he reluctantly walked up behind her, reading the comments with varying reactions 

╭─━━━━━━━━━━━━─╮

user: well damn, hot bloody girl comes in and suddenly im lesbian

user: kenma looks so done

kuroo.tetsu: hi y/n ;) 

user: HER NAME IS Y/N

╰─━━━━━━━━━━━━─╯

"jesus christ shut up, kuroo" kenma grumbled out with a sigh 

"yup! yup! im y/n, and no, i am not a criminal. i swear." she shook her head 

"i got an injury from my job, that's all." she cleared up 

╭─━━━━━━━━━━━━─╮

user: tangina nyo sana ol

user: MSKAKAKKA

user: THIS IS LOWKEY ICONIC

user: time to scratch another gamer boy off my possible bf list 😔

user: girl wtf happened to u

user: that's wack bro 🚶‍♀️

╰─━━━━━━━━━━━━─╯

"great question, random person from the internet!" she beamed "see, what happened was.." 

"i went on a certain mission and got severely injured. though, when i called for help nobody responded" she said 

kenma furrowed his brows at her words. "why didn't anybody respond?" he asked. she sighed and fiddled with her torn bandages, pouting her lips as she does so. 

"well, when i told them that i was finally on death's door, all they said to me was 'congratulations!' and all that.." she said "what's your take on that, hm?" she asked kenma 

"im not surprised" he said 

she grinned at his words and leaned in for a kiss. "you're so mean to me, kenma~" she whined 

she licked her lips as she held his blushing face in her hands, she nuzzled their noses as she leaned in closer to him. 

╭─━━━━━━━━━━━━─╮

kuroo.tetsu: oh shit 😳

user: we all know where this is heading ;) 

user: sana ol talaga punyemas 

user: AYO CHILL 

user: why we goin so fuckin fasstttt 😳

╰─━━━━━━━━━━━━─╯

kenma hastily turned the camera off as soon as y/n's lips touched his. 

"kitten, were still- hmph-" 

he was only silenced as she slipped her tongue in his mouth, smirking lightly as she ran her fingers through his hair 

"thanks babe." she said as she pulled away, giving him a soft peck on his cheek and a nod "anyways.." she hummed as she turned the camera on once again 

she looked through the chat while kenma slaps his face to get rid of his blush. 

╭─━━━━━━━━━━━━─╮

user: ur fuckin freaky 

kuroo.tetsu: oya oya 😼😼

user: MS MAAM I JUST MET U AND I LOVE U ALREADY WJABSJSJJS

user: not me blushing chiiilllleeeeee 🏃‍♀️

user: KENMA IS FLUSTERED

kuroo.tetsu: kenma, i didnt expect this from u 😼

user: im so fucking JEALOUS GRR😡

user: girl r u bleeding rn 😃

╰─━━━━━━━━━━━━─╯

upon reading a certain comment, she subconsciously grazed her fingers against her bandaged wound. her eyes slightly widening as she felt a concerning amount of wetness seeping through

she glanced at kenma who was still calming himself down and inspected her wound 

"oh my.." she muttered, though she couldn't help but let a smile slip through 

so like any normal person would do, she simply ignored her bleeding wound and the fact that she was getting a bit lightheaded. haha <3

"anyways, let's answer some questions!" she beamed 

╭─━━━━━━━━━━━━─╮

user: what's ur full name

user: what's ur job miss girl 

user: are you possibly looking for a gf, because i am more 

than willing to take the spot 🚶‍♀️

user: how did you meet?? 

╰─━━━━━━━━━━━━─╯

"alright, those are all very nice questions" she chuckled. kenma, who's now calmed down, sat down beside her to look at the chat. 

"first, im l/n y/n" she mused "nice to meet ya" 

"second im a detective! mhm, im cooler than your fathers" 

"third, it depends, belladonna" she cooed as she sent the camera flirty smirk "are you perhaps willing to join me in a double suicide?" 

"oh god.." kenma grumbled. he pouted at her and shook his head in disapproval. "don't flirt with random girls" he whined 

"why not?" 

"uh- because i am your beloved boyfriend, is that not good enough of a reason??" 

"... anyways, we met at a cafe way back in high school" she said with a smile "also, i asked him to join me on a double suicide" she said 

she was smiling and nodding as if it was the most normal thing in the world, all while kenma nods along 

╭─━━━━━━━━━━━━─╮

user: wtf are u okay ���

kuroo.tetsu: teenage romance 🤩

user: cute ❤️

user: im concerned ❤️

user: ur a detective?? cool

user: LMAOO I'LL GO ON A DOUBLE SEWER SLIDE 

WITH U MOMMY 😩😩😋

user: ^^ SAME 😩

user: CHOKE ME WITH THOSE BANDAGES MOMMAE 😩

user: u r still bleeding 🚶‍♀️        

╰─━━━━━━━━━━━━─╯

kenma was simply glaring at the chat as more compliments and flirtatious comments came flowing in, all of which were directed to his girlfriend. 

"this is why i didn't wanna let people know about you.." kenma grumbled 

"aww, why not?" she asked with a playful pout 

"people are flirting with you." he sighed "also, stop asking for my girlfriend's onlyfans! she doesn't even have one!" he snarled

╭─━━━━━━━━━━━━─╮

user: LMAOO CATBOY IS ANGRY 😩

user: y/n-senpai spit on me 😡😡

user: drop the onlyfans 

user: chupapi munyanyo 😩

╰─━━━━━━━━━━━━─╯

"anyways, i'd hate to ruin the mood" she chimed in with a sluggish giggle "but im so wet kenma" she whined out 

a menacing smirk was etched on her lips as kenma spluttered in response, a bright red hue covering his face almost instantly as he faced her with widened eyes 

"y-y/n! why would you say that?!" he whisper shouted 

"cuz i am" she whined out as she grabbed his hand and trailed it down her abdomen 

she faced the camera and gave them a shit-eating grin as kenma mumbled out incoherent words 

"y/n we should-" he cut himself off as he felt the concerning amount of blood drip down his whole arm 

kenma's face paled as he looked up to see her smiling like a kid in a candy store, completely unbothered. 

"y/n, you idiot! why didn't you tell me!" kenma exclaimed 

"um- my girlfriend is bleeding. excessively. so uh- bye i guess" it was all he said before hastily ending his stream and turning off his computer. 

"y/n, let's get you to a hospital" he said as he reached down to carry her away. though she simply slapped his hands off and closed her eyes. 

"nope. this is my time, kenma. don't ruin it for me" she said 

"you're fucking dying!!" 

"well, would you like to join me?" 

"no"

"damn." she muttered in response 

"so...wanna fuck?" she asked sheepishly 

"for the love of god-" 

this was so messy :/

[mingkii]

Babysitters for a day ─✎ 손.에릭

» Eric Sohn x Fem!Reader

» Words: 0.9k

» Genre: Fluff, Crack

» Warnings: None

» Summary: You and your best friend eric were trusted with babysitting your sister's children while they were on a trip. But even tho you had fun with them, at the end of the day both of you were worn out.

» Ficscafe Event/ Prompt #27:“Hey, uhm, I’ve got good news and bad news. Good news, you won’t have to buy any more applesauce. Bad news, I lost the baby.”

» A/n: This is a platonic fic, no romance, just wholesome babysitting and crack sksjjdkdk. a lot of typos and incorrect grammer tho cause it’s unedited.

Here you are arriving at your sister's place with eric beside you. Knocking on the door and immediately you see her standing there with your niece in her arms and your nephew beside her.

"Auntie y/n!" He says, hugging your waist. You gave him a quick smile, rubbing his hair.

"Wonderful, you are here, take them before i loose my mind" she says as she places her in your arms. She hands eric their stuff as she pushes them aside to lock the door.

"We'll be back tonight, don't do anything stupid," you waved them off as her husband pulled away from the drive-way. "Well they were in a hurry," eric says beside you. Your poor sister hadn't gotten a break ever since she gave birth to her beautiful daughter. She needed a well deserved break from the nightmare, as she says.

And as a loving sister you are, you were happy to take her children while they go on a short trip, and of course, you couldn't forget dragging your best friend eric.

"The strollers and car seats are in the garage, I'll go get them," you said, giving eric the babu in his arms. He froze, not knowing what to do. Anxiety rushes through his body with the fear of dropping her.

"Are you and auntie y/n together?" The boy asks making eric's widen.

"What, no, we are just good friends," eric smiles at the curiosity of the boy at such a young age.

A sigh of relief left him as you came back with the twin stroller and two car seats. You adjusted them in the car and went back to help eric with the twins and their stuff. Not forget the eldest in the middle to watch his little sister.

"ok where do you wanna go," eric says, buckling up in the driver's seat.

"Well, my sister said they ran out of Applesauces and diapers, let's go to the grocery store to get some."

Eric nods and starts the car to head to the store.

Eric pushed the stroller with your niece in it and your nephew in the cart.

"Ok, she just gave us enough money and some extra to buy ourselves something."

"Can we please get ice cream?" Your nephew pleaded, giving you the puppy eyes.

What's with these kids using the puppy dog eyes, you thought. Sighing, knowing your sister will not buy the sugar.

"Fine," but then again, you are not your sister.

Checking the dairy isle for some milk, you spotted a lady, maybe in her 40s, coming up to you with your nephew. "Excuse me, is this your kid?"

"Omg i told you to stay in the cart, who let you out?" He pointed to eric who was watching your niece. "What? He told me he had cramps," you groaned, carrying your nephew and placing him on the cart.

"I'm sorry to ask but perhaps are you together? You two look young to be having children" The same lady again asked.

"Oh no, we are just friends, these kids are my sister's," the lady nods before leaving. You let out a breath, quickly leaving the embarrassing situation.

After getting the things you needed you headed to check out.

"Can we go to the park?" The boy asks eric as he straps him in the seats. "Y/n?" He looks at you.

"Sure bud" the boy smiles widely as you two get in and start the car.

Arriving at the park with your nephew beside you, unwrapping the ice cream as you take a stroll near the river.

"Are you sure you and uncle eric aren't together?" The boy pushes the topic again. This wasn't the first he had met eric and you couldn't blame the curiousity when he always saw you two together.

"I am very sure," you two were so close since kindergarten when you almost stabbed his hand with a pencil. Nothing more than two close best friends.

And your current boyfriend juyeon wouldn't like the sound of this.

A few minutes later, you sat down on one of the benches and played pocket cards. In the middle of your "intense" game, eric came panting.

"Hey, uhm, I’ve got good news and bad news. Good news, you won’t have to buy any more applesauce. Bad news, I lost the baby."

You dropped the cards in your hand, processing the words that just came out of his mouth.

"You what?!" You stood up, "Don't kill me! But i might have misplaced the stroller, The good thing is, it's somewhere in the parking lot near the mall, someone must've mistook her for a lost baby."

"Eric sohn if you do not find her right now I will fucking kill you,"

"Ok first off, language and second, i said i will ok now get in the car, it's almost sun down."

Running in the mall, hurriedly making your way to the police station inside you see the familiar stroller near the entrance.

You thanked the guards there for looking after her and left as soon as possible.

With a few minutes to spare, you and eric made it home before your sister came in to pick them up.

"Did you all have fun?" She asked her son. "Yeah! I had a really fun time with auntie y/n and uncle eric! I wanna hang out with them again!" You smiled at the enthusiasm.

After they left, the two of you crashed into the sofas, worn out. "Wanna order some take out," eric chirped in, "Yeah."

You were just relieved no one got hurt, you hoped this was the last time you are trusted with a child.

[imaginesandall]

ACExOC Headcanons cuz im bored and sad

BASICS

Her name is Queen.

She is part of the Heart pirates.

Law saved her life once and she devoted herself to him and the crew.

Queen had a bounty before she met the Heart pirates.

'Queen of hearts ♔'

She may have had a thing for ripping out the hearts of a couple of assholes that did wrong on her eyes.

No devil fruits, no powers, just raw force.

Pure coincidence that she ended with the heart pirates after she got her nickname, but the crew loved it and liked to tease her about it.

'It's destiny our dear queen!'

'Shut the fuck up Penguin'

The crew also loves to call her 'queenie' (minus Law ofc)

ACEEEE

When the crew gets to land they separate to get supplies, or whatever it is they need (sometimes what they needed was just getting drunk).

Queen loves her family but she also likes her personal space (sometimes it gets a bit suffocating on the sub).

So being on her own and exploring a new island, she found the cutest freckled boy she has ever seen.

Unconscious.

On the middle of the street.

And well she may be a murderer but she was not heartless (pun fully intended).

So while the people gathered around him whispering what could have happened she took it upon herself to check if the boy (man?) was still alive.

He was.

He just opened his eyes and she almost died of a heart attack.

Like a gentleman (that makino teached him to be) he offered an apology.

But Queen wanted a compensation so she dragged his ass to a trip around the market for supplies.

Queen does not take a no for an answer(just from Law cuz when he enters the DOCTOR MODE then she may as well be doomed).

They went around town on a shopping trip and well... it was nice, and the conversation was funny.

Later that night the Heart pirates and the second commander of the whitebeards were drunk on a small bar singing and dancing.

Law is still not THAT famous so Ace doesn't know him at all, but Law can recognize Ace from the wanted posters and the news (Law is a very well informed man. He has to be).

The crew likes Ace.

Queen likes him even more.

THE BEGINING

After their first meeting it seemed like they were always on the same places.

They parted on an island? Well they are gonna see each other on the next one.

The heart pirates don't interact much with him but they do tease Queen about it.

'ohh there is your boyfriend'

'geez Ikkaku not you too'

'are you gonna get married?'

'Shut up Bepo'

'I'm sorry :c' (this poor boi)

So every time they see each other they have a small activity together.

Both of them are too stubborn to call them dates.

Both of them are also dorks and blush almost at anything.

Ace has trouble trusting people and has self-esteem issues so the even though he likes Queen he thinks he doesn’t deserve anything that makes him happy. And she does make him happy.

So Queen is the first to confess. It takes her a week on the sub (and Ikkaku yelling at her to stop being so dumb) and two days on an island with him to actually confess to him.

‘ I... I wanted to... but Uhh I mean’

‘Please promise me nothing will change after this...’ she kept quiet after saying that.

Queen refused to look at him in the eyes, was shaking like a leaf and then... she ran.

Cue a poor confused boi.

So for everyone else it might have been obvious what was happening.

But this boi thinks he doesn’t deserve love so he just thinks queen catched a bug or something.

The next day she finally confesses and while poor Ace is stunned, he likes her too.

It takes Ace a couple of month to fully accept that yes, Queen likes him and yeah she is being sincere.

Sometimes he still feels like it’s gonna end on a horrible note.

Queen reassures him that she indeed likes him and she is not going anywhere.

THE RELATIONSHIP

Both of them are hopeless romantics but new to relationships.

While ace has had casual flings he never had something serious, as for Queen, well you can’t have a lot of time for anything of that nature while you are running from your life.

Ace always gets Queen small trinkets that makes him think of her.

Little turtles craved on a rock, small shiny rocks(like a bird), food, and other stuff that sometimes he has no idea what they are but they reminded him of queen.

Sometimes Ace feels self conscious that they are not enough and he is fucking things up.

But Queen loves every single weird thing he gaves her and keeps it on a drawer on the polar tank.

Queen also likes to give him gifts but she finds it hard to get something he would like (jokes on her Ace would love anything she gets him).

They love to cuddle.

She loves to trace his freckles, she finds him absolutely adorable.

They get drunk together quite often.

They are the fun™couple.

THE BIG REVELATION

So it took Ace some time to get the courage to tell Queen about his dad.

He tried to make it as natural as possible.

'So what would you say if Gold Roger had kids?'

'The pirate king? Well I mean... I don't know "

'Was he even the kind of pirate that just goes around leaving women pregnant?'

'I mean what kind of woman would like to... well he was the pirate king so...'

'Jeez Ace why would you ask me about his sex life?!'

'I ASKED ABOUT HIS KIDS NOT HIS SEX LIFE'

'HOW DO YOU THINK BABIES ARE MADE?!'

it was not subtle at all.

They were both very red and embarrassed.

Ace had to be very direct with Queen.

He had a breakdown.

He started yelling at Queen about his cursed blood and yelling at her to leave.

Queen stopped him by grabbing his cheeks and giving him a small smile.

'For a guy so smart you sure are dumb huh?'

Queen had to give him a big talk.

'Who gives a crap about who your dad is Ace?'

'You are the things you love, your family, your crew, your friends, the sea, your freedom. The only reason why your dad has such a hold on you is because you let him'

Ace cried for hours while Queen held him.

It broke her to see such a trivial thing in her eyes hold him down like this.

Ace felt better but even after that he had been carrying that burden for so long that it was not gonna dissipate just that easily.

But it made thing easier in their relationship.

'You do look a bit like him tho, I'm guessing you got your pretty looks because of your mom'

[fandom-blackhole]

Now that I have time and some motivation let's get down to business.

Paz also has tattoos for you,

One of your name in mando'a,

Second of the star constellation that you spotted on your trip, we love our wiccan king,

He'd 10000% be the guy to get his child's birth date tattooed,

Paz posting his precious doggo on instagram?,

Oh or Paz starting a culinary YouTube channel???,

And also showing his of the grid lifestyle?,

showing his animal rescue and promoting adoptions!,

He is buffy, handsome, funny, loves children and animals, dresses good and is the best chef, so there are many fanboys and fangirls in his comments thirsting over him,

When the comments asking if he is single get too overwhelming, he asks you to tune in for some vlogs,

You'd definitely film a mukbang video!!,

And also these crazy spicy noodle challenges,

Boba accidentally disliking all of Paz' videos?? (we are still onto tech-grandpa Boba? 😂),

You have to make sure that he doesn't post any pictures done by his hand,

He'd retweet funny clips of cats and cute pictures from Jango Investigation company's official profile,

Also him leaving embarrassing comments on your profile?

Or not knowing that there is function to dm you on instagram,

So he comments on your recent holiday trip picture ''you looked good in this swimsuit princess, shame on me I tore it apart'' or ''looking tempting babygirl, be ready, sir will be home soon'',

Din doesn't really care for sm?,

Like he used to be a casual user,

But one day people were flooding his comments and dms, spamming him with @pascalisapunk,

He noticed that you were watching youtube kids with Grogu,

(oh now I hope you will know what is going on) Grogu really likes watching cocomelon,

So Din tricked him to watching PewDiePie instead,

You don't like it tho, thinking these videos are too edgy and stupid for both of them,

''Din you've watched too many of these videos and you became a brain-rotten himbo I don't want the same to happen to our son!'',

Din and Grogu playing Minecraft together? 🥺,

Also Paz has the best town in Animal crossing for sure!,

Surprise, surprise Boba actually likes and knows how to(!!!) play Mafia game (well it's from 2002 so maybe that's why lol),

But he is the king of board games,

Especially Monopoly!!!

Also not to mention cars games,

He made you play strip poker with him 😳,

Paz and you doing a baby shower at his restaurant!!,

Imagine big daddy bear Paz with a little babygirl 😍😍😍, (Bummer that we don't have an official name for the Armorer, could be honored by Paz naming his baby after her 😭),

Grogu telling his friends at school that his daddy is also an actor lol,

Few days later bunch of 5 year olds are asking him if this is the way to the restroom, if he can bring in some hot chocolate, and doing the baby yoda batuu sound at him lol,

Poor Din, but he secretly loves it, he just loves children,

So imagine his combustion when you tell him that you are having a little Djarin 😍,

Paz helping with babyshower??,

And Boba is totally on buying you a new, bigger apartment as a gift lol,

''What, Djarin? Can't have my little nephew and favorite sister-in-law who is pregnant living in your excuse of an apartament'' lol Boba has no chill,

Grogu gets addicted to bubble tea,

And it isn't because of your introduction, you knew better not to let him drink too often,

But everyday, after coming back from the kindergarten Din and Grogu would stop by your favorite bubble tea shop,

Grogu totally wants a little brother!,

And Din is thinking about a little babygirl or better, why not both, or even better two little boys and a little girl and Grogu being their big bro 😍,

You better be ready for some intensive wrestling sessions,

You and Din have no idea why, but lately, he seems to cum A LOT MORE,

When Boba carries out the tradition you are pregnant,

Pregnant with twin boys,

And the look identical, like they were literally cloned 😉,

Boba wouldn't throw a huge babyshower,

He is too afraid after the incident involving you and the rival syndicate,

Actually Boba decided that you should move from the downtown, to live in a more low-key area,

So you are now living in a palace 😉 in the suburbs

Boba gets you a private driver and a bodyguard,

But most of the time he tries to drive you to work since you both have offices in the downtown area,

Your daily commute can get really pleasurable for both of you 😳,

Boba has his own shooting range lol, king of extra right?

One day when you were babysitting Grogu at your place you found out that Boba was teaching the kid about shooting,

You were furious,

''C'mon princess, haven't I told you about me and my father? He showed me how to use a gun when I was even younger than Grogu'',

Srsly, this man,

Giving him a death glare you take Grogu and treat him for some bubble tea

-🐣

Oh yeeesss let's get to business....

Paz's tattoos 😭😭😭 so cute (kind of reminds me of my dad, he has all of our names)

Paz totally has an Instagram dedicated to Ad'ika

Paz being thirsted after on his YouTube is so cute

But his followers also really ship the two of you, because you both are just couple goals

Paz makes you the cutest anniversary video and posts it to his YouTube

Paz is a total gamer, he absolutely loves Animal Crossing and he makes a whole section of his town dedicated to you

Paz throws the absolute cutest baby shower and anyone and everyone is invited

You both decide to wait until after the baby is born to find out the gender, and Paz has a raffle going on at the restaurant where people can guess the gender

Armorer = Amira? Amara? Andromeda??

He makes you both cute matching sweaters for your characters

Paz is the one that introduced Grogu to minecraft

Boba cause so much havoc on social media

He totally is leaving thirst comments under your pictures on Instagram not realizing everyone else can see them too

You have a Instagram set up for Fennec too because she is just so photogenic, at least when you take the pictures

I think Boba is actually pretty proficient at using Twitter, and its more or less because he uses it to stalk people 9/10

You have a tumblr where you tease and make fun of Boba, mostly posting quotes or the silly pictures that Boba takes

Boba totally dominates at any board game, but especially Monopoly

That game of strip poker did not last long at all, and you think Boba quite literally was hiding aces up his sleeves

Boba makes sure you are always thoroughly satisfied before he drops you off at work every morning

When Boba finds out you're pregnant he celebrates, and its huge

He starts going all out buying anything and everything he can/wants

When he finds out its twin boys he is over the moon

Names for the boys, Jango and Jaster? Rex and Cody??

Boba totally buys some big house outside of town, that has anything and everything you could ever ask for

It also has a panic room and state of the art safety because Boba isn't taking chances with you or the boys

Also, bringing the babysitting saga to the modern au 😭😭

You walk in on Boba handing Grogu a gun and you flip out, yelling at him

He just shrugs and you take Grogu away and say that your kids WILL N O T learn how to do any of that stuff until they are atleast teenagers

Boba pouts because you ruined his and Grogu's bonding time

When Din comes to pick up Grogu, Grogu looks him in the eye and says "cocksucker"

Din has a heart attack and Boba laughs as you yell at him asking where he heard that

Grogu says that he heard uncle Boba say it while on the phone

Din tries to follow Paz’s recipes from his YouTube, and it always turns out badly and you have to come in and save it

Din totally loves Pewdiepie's humor

Din gets frustrated with social media and ends up just making an empty account so he can follow you and watch videos, but after the whole Pedro Pascal disaster he never posts anything

Grogu and you are his profile picture though

When Grogu goes around telling the kids at school he is the mandalorian he just sighs

And when all of the kids start quoting the show, he just starts quoting them back so they will stop bothering him

When Din announced the pregnancy Paz got so excited to have another nephew/niece

Paz lets Din hold the baby shower at the restaurant and he makes all of the food, including little gender reveal cake pops

Paz gifts the two of you a photo album at has pictures of the two of you and grogu, but it is still half empty so you can add more memories of your expanding family

Boba just hands Din house keys a day says the place is paid off and he's covering the bills for the first year (he also had a nice play set built in the backyard for Grogu)

[jaskanetic]

After raising a Sulcata Tortoise for a few weeks, I have come do you all a learnin.

For starters:

This tortoise is VERY curious and expressive. It is really easy to gauge there's some personality and emotion behind this little dude's eyes. Personality being a mix of "babey" and "shithead gremlin". Though he is 2 years old, I'd like to imagine like a 2 year old human, because well.... He will live as long as and even longer than a human.

That's right! He will probably still be alive loooooooong after I have grown old and passed, so long as he's healthy. Tfw your reptile son is almost immortal, F.

Smol tortoise is actually pretty fast? Surprising.

They also eat their body weight in food every day so OHHH BOOIIIIIII that's a lotta foond.

They can hiss. When they go in their shell they have to force the air out of their lungs, which creates a hissing sound.

Stevie also gives 0 fucks and has pissed on people, as well as shat in his drinking water, and ALWAYS walks through his food dish. I have never seen such a mad lad.

They mostly eat grass, lettuce, flower blossoms and leaves, clovers, etc. You can feed them certain kinds of fruits and veggies, but only as an occasional snacc. Sometimes I give Stevie some corn, I've given him watermelon and strawberry as snaccs. Fruit like that tho shouldn't be given so often.

They also each individually have their own taste preferences. I got Stevie some Timothy Hay (as part of his diet, to substitute for grass) and this HECKER WON'T EAT IT JUST BECAUSE HE DOESN'T LIKE HOW IT TASTES AJXHJSHDH

So now I have to go out and buy Alfalfa hay, which, in hindsight, I should have started with, after reading most Sulcatas prefer Alfalfa hay sjhdhehf.

I also noticed Stevie doesn't like loud noises or sudden movements, so I try to not play my music as loud in my room, and move slowly whenever I got to clean up his tank or handle him.

Oh and another thing

BE CAREFUL ABOUT HUMIDITY

If the animal is in an environment that is too humid, it can cause shell rot. It starts as little white or black spots on the shell- it can take a while for the infection to actually get into the tortoise but its best to treat it right away obvi.

Luckily, you can look up how to do so.

Especially if you're like me where you're too poor to afford a vet trip, and also everything is closed because a bajillion people have Covid where you live.

And to save a life:

You can treat shell rot with Betadine or Povidone-Iodine. First, you wash the infected area with soft soap, gently scrubbing with a soft toothbrush and making sure you rinse ALL of the soap off. Then, you gently rub a few drops onto the infected part of the shell. Do it once every day, and hopefully, it clears up in a few weeks. If not, and if your animal seems kinda sick? Definitely try to see a vet.

And if you haven't guessed- yes, Stevie has shell rot.

Luckily, it isn't that bad, and I've already been treating him for about a week now. The spots are starting to clear up, which is a very good sign! And he still seems pretty healthy and relaxed!

Sulcata Tortoises, like many species of Tortoise, like to burrow underground. That being said, you should prepare a closed off area for it to dig in. As the tortoise grows larger, it will need to be outside more and more often- unless you want to spend a bajillion dollars dedicating an entire room to it.

Stevie is a teeny tiny leetle baby boi bean, and thus, he is in a tank right now. I provided him with a lot of bedding and he has a leetle rock house so! He can burrow just a bit when inside! This coming September we plan on preparing an area outside for him to burrow and live in during the day time!

And I say "during the day" because we have stray cats everywhere and ajxhwhxhhsjxr. That and... It gets really cold in the winter at night. Despite being in a desert. So I want to make sure he doesn't get too cold while he sleemps.

They can actually feel their shell being pet.

Also you can feel their lungs and heartbeat through their shell, it's kinda weird but neato.

On a side note, I put a potato in my fish tank and it's been starting to grow some p l a n t, and I looked over while typing this and my goldfish keep biting the roots ajdhehdnshchehcdj.

Also tortoises don't like phones apparently. I take mine out and Stevie receeds into his shell like "AH FUCK, A BASTARD-"

Oh and Sulcatas are HERBIVORES.

Their diet is mainly: grass, hay, clovers, flower blossoms, leaves, lettuce, etc. It's good to make sure they can munch on your lawn everyday.

Unless you're Stevie. Then you run down the driveway and try to escape because your parent is Mad Meme Lad and you're not enough of a Chad to handle them squatting on their bed chanting "YEE YEE" every morning.

"Nicay do you really do that every morning???"

Not going to confirm nor deny, have fun with that thought.

Anywayz.

Thanks for coming to my Ted Talk.

Here- have some beans.

Stevie currently stuck in his food dish, basking in artificial deadly sky beam.

Potato

Squishy (above left), and Bubbles (bottom right)

And assorted cactus children because why not

[nerdyskeleton]

I love your writing :o could I please suggest narumitsu + 15: "Don't die on me - please." I live for the angst

you monster. tho this isn’t as angsty as it could have been I think. but thank you, you are so nice and lovely! and thanks for sending this in!!! 

send me a prompt and a pair! 

Edgeworthpaced the length of his home office once more. Trucy had been by earlier towarn him that he would wear a rut in the floor. How could anyone be so calmwhen Phoenix had not called him when he said he would?

Everyonehad tried to relax him, citing various reasons for his delayed contact – too busyvisiting with Maya, poor reception, or the dolt had lost his phone already. Thefirst argument was ridiculous. Edgeworth knew how desperate Wright was to seehis best friend, but he also knew that despite the excitement, he would notforgot to call his husband and tell him he arrived safely.

Keepingdown the panic that threatened to burst forth had been incredibly difficult forthe entire day. He was nearly ready to dial his forgetful husband first, yet hecould not be sure if he had gotten the international plan activated in time.

Trucycame by about an hour later, wishing him a good night and placing a kiss on hisforehead. She reassured him that Daddy would call soon and to give him her lovefor her. Eventually, Edgeworth changed trajectories to pace elsewhere, as wellas continued to refrain checking international headlines for murders ofspiky-haired lawyers in foreign kingdoms.

Finally,finally, his phone lit up with a callfrom an unfamiliar number. He answered it immediately.

“Phoenix!”

“Hey!”Such an average greeting sounded so sweet to his ears.

“You’recalling me quite late, Wright. Did you have difficulty finding your way around?Is everything all right?”

“Everythingis fine! Don’t worry. I got a little caught up in some stuff here, but it’s allresolved now.”

Edgeworthresisted huffing the mightiest sigh. “What exactly happened?”

Wrightlaunched into a story of when he first arrived in the main bazaar – he couldn’twait to show Edgeworth all the photos he was taking – where he met a young boywith an odd name. Perhaps the bad connection jumbled his words. He was ledabout on a tour of the city and passed by some incredible landmarks.

Edgeworthshould have known that wherever Phoenix Wright went, trouble appeared rightalongside him like a clingy friend.

“Iwas meeting Ahlbi to see the Dance of Devotion when the kid was arrested! A nineyear old! Arrested for murder! Can you believe it? Even think a kid that young is capable of that?”

Edgeworth,who believed that his own nine year old self had committed such an act, ignoredthe comment to urge Phoenix to continue on.

“Iobviously came to defend him, because I can’t let a kid go to jail. This placethough…it’s not a great place for lawyers, and I wish I had known that.” Helaughed. “They have a law that allows for boththe defendant and their attorney to be executed if they’re found guilty.”

Edgeworthclenched at the armrest of the chair he had managed to settle himself into. “Youknew this and willingly kept defending this boy?”

“Notuntil I had already agreed to being his attorney. I wouldn’t just run headfirst into death.”

“Yesyou would.”

Phoenixlaughed, even though Edgeworth had never been more right. He completed thetale, yet Edgeworth could focus on little else besides the fact that hishusband had almost died.

“Iwas going to get Maya’s opinion on that Steel Samurai movie we just watched theother day when I see her. Assuming she’s seen it. I guess I don’t know whatsort of programs they get here in Khura’in.” A pregnant pause. “Miles?”

Hesighed again. "Don'tdie on me - please." 

“What!”

“Phoenix,you’ve only just set foot into a foreign country, and you nearly have your headcut off. You didn’t call when you said you would – have you any idea howworried I’ve been?”

“I’msorry. I got caught in the crosshairs.”

“Iknow you did. I’m begging you to avoid that for the rest of this trip.”

“Miles,I’ll be fine.”

“Howare you so cavalier about your…thousandth brush with death!”

“Becauseit’s my thousandth? Really, Miles. I’m going to be fine. I always am.”

“Ifear the time when you won’t be.”

“Let’snot think about that, okay?”

Itwas all Edgeworth could dwell on,starting in this second, and he would probably continue until the end of time.The rest of their conversation was stilted. Deep down, Edgeworth feared thatthis conversation could very well be their last.