#Your honor I plead oopsie daisies
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patchy-patchy · 3 months ago
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I think I killed them. ..Shit.
@monster-squid-ink
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mime-the · 7 months ago
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Hey guys, look at this totally innocent cookie I just found! Never done any wrong, ever! He’s great isn’t he?
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Psshhh, evil? Noooo he’s just silly! Guys believe me.
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puppet-strung-moon · 2 months ago
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I just thought of this but like what if Elara’s Sun tried to explain Burning “visiting” him and Moon to Malware
@animatronic-assistant @malwaresilly
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autismswagsummit · 1 year ago
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Apologies for the Parker post going up tag-less and without an image ID, that should be fixed now!
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secondhand-goose · 7 months ago
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Just when I finally get comfortable enough to sleep my brain likes to remind me of the time when I accidentally emailed a screenshot of a morally-questionable webtoon to my professor at a Christian University instead of my final project :))
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donotopendeadinside · 8 months ago
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|| instructions unclear, I summed an Eldritch god and he now wants to be my husband. ||
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wilos112 · 2 years ago
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not me """"accidently"""" posting the lyrics of dead inside by younger hunger into my crush's dms
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locomotive-idiot · 2 years ago
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sorry i dont tag my reblogs i just dont care enough
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valer13sval3ntine · 2 years ago
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what did you do. WHAT DID YOU DO.
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ITS IN THA NAEM!!!!!!!!!!! i blacked out bru!
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hazelkjt · 2 months ago
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I am now realizing that I read the chart I found of average height and age for kids wrong, Percy should actually be closer to being 9 based on how tall she is.
So uhhh, yeah let’s just handwave that real quick, she’s actually nine lmao.
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Percy is only 7, btw
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hyunjinsjeans · 3 months ago
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He knows (Han ver.)
Felix ver.| Seungmin ver. | I.N ver.
MASTERLIST
Synopsis: after an unfortunate event you decide to tell Jisung that you are ready to give it another go.
Type: Fluff 🧸, angst ❤️‍🩹, female reader 💃, SFW 👍
Warnings: mentions of pregnancy, description of medical emergencies and health issues, mentions of mental health issues. Uhm there is mentions of dogs being horny(?)
Word count: 3111 words (your honor, I plead oopsie daisy!)
AN: This one is a little heavier, please don’t read if you are sensitive towards the topics described in the warnings. Something about my favorite soft boy Han made my brain go “pain” and here we are, BUT I promise it gets really cute and comforting in the end. Again, I couldn’t stop writing 😭
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You cleaned up the kitchen after finishing eating dinner and drank a tall glass of water. You rubbed your stomach and looked around the house. Jisung was going to be home in a few hours, probably tired from his trip to Paris. 
He had been gone for only a couple of days, not even an entire week. 
You knew this was hard on both of you, but felt like maybe he was making it harder than it had to be. It had been over a year already… he should relax a little now. But he could not, he still felt guilty every time he walked out the door with a suitcase in his hand.
With a sigh, you decided to head to bed. His flight would land almost at midnight and then Ji would have a couple days off. He was most likely going to come home and slide into bed beside you, quietly attempting to cuddle you without waking you. It always failed because you missed him too much to not notice his warmth and his gentle touch when he wrapped his arm around you and kissed the back of your shoulder. 
It all happened the year before. The boys were promoting a single and had been invited to a fashion show in New York, their schedule was crazy, they were away for a little over a month - which was odd, since they were not touring or playing shows. 
You and the other girls, the significant others, had a group chat, “SORacha”, was the name given by the boys. Everyone was a little on edge with how the American media was treating the boys, especially the disrespectful and downright racist paparazzi who seemed to start following them around everywhere. For you the worst part was coming home to a sad looking Bbama, both of you obviously missed Jisung.
You were only 8 days away from seeing Han again, things had been normal around the house. You went to work and then came back home to walk Bbama, having dinner with the fluffy dog eating behind you from their dish on the floor. Some days you went out for drinks with your friends, most of all you kept in touch with the other girls. It was like a support group while your boyfriends and husbands were away. You would help each other in the most mundane things, and you would also reach out to each other to keep everyone's spirits up.
That night you had gone out for a drink with your coworkers, but you were not drinking much since you needed to get home to read some materials for your Japanese class. Jisung had insisted it was fun learning a new language as an adult and you signed up for the course only to find that it was more demanding than you anticipated. Regardless, you were a diligent student so you prioritized your study time over having that second bottle of soju.  
It did not change much, by the end of the night you found yourself blinking away tears in confusion as you were blinded by the bright lights shining atop of you inside the ambulance. 
Your emergency contact, LeeKnow!Reader arrived at the hospital in her checkered pj’s. You were already in the ER by then and she was not allowed to see you until after the doctors were able to get you stable. Everything happened too fast, two of your drunk co-workers (sobered up by the scare and adrenaline) explained to LeeKnow!Reader what had happened. You did nothing wrong, you said your goodbyes and went to cross the road during a red light, following the zebra lines on the pavement but a car drove past disregarding the stop light. They hit you so fast you were pushed into the air a few meters to everyone’s shock. Thankfully, you landed against another car’s hood. Although it broke a couple of ribs, it meant you did not hit your head on the pavement. 
You required surgery for the internal bleeding and the doctors were clear you would be in the hospital for at least a few days to make sure you would be okay since you did get a neck and back injury. 
LeeKnow!Reader did not even ask you, she signed the papers and arranged for you to have the emergency surgery, without questions she picked up the phone to immediately call your husband, and then your mother. She knew you were not going to want to interrupt Han in whatever he was doing but this was serious. So she called him. 
When you woke up in a hospital room after the surgery, he was there with your mom and your sister sitting next to him. 
You felt awful. Not only physically but also mentally. All he ever asked you to do when he left home was to take care of yourself (and his fur baby). And you managed to get yourself ran over by a drunk driver. 
Recovering was not easy, you had a cast around your middle and on your left leg. You had to wear a neck brace for a couple of months and even after you dealt with a lot of pain from the simplest things like sitting or laying down for too long. 
Jisung was worried, to an extreme extent. He felt guilty he was not there with you when it happened. He liked to think that he would have picked you up and that he could have avoided you needing to cross the road. It did not help that you became so weak so quickly. He knew you to be independent and strong but during your recovery you were unable to walk the stairs of your two story home. You could not go out to walk with him and take Bbama to the dog park. You could no longer turn to the gym for an outlet for your anxiety, and you felt useless. 
You were different. It was obvious to your friends and to your husband. He could tell, he was not stupid and he was also not blind. He saw you shut him out, you were shutting everyone out in fact. You stopped singing around the house because you were not doing chores. Instead you could only sit and read or knit in absolute silence. You were no longer looking for playlists to have as background noise while you went outside to take care of your garden - hell, the garden was a mess you did not even touch anymore. You slept so much too, sneaking naps here and there. You avoided phone calls and texts too. And you began losing weight fast, no longer having an interest in food. Jisung had to knock some sense into you, get you off of autopilot. You could not help it when he was face to face with you, pointing out that you were in pain and it was easy to see. He felt guilty you had been hurt in his absence and he was feeling guilty maybe he was doing something wrong now that he was home. Han demanded to know if it was him and his work or both. He felt like somehow he had let you down but he wanted to make it better. 
It was not him, you were depressed from the feeling of confinement within your own body. Like you had a broken thing that did not work but you had to still push it around as if it did, only to be frustrated when even breathing was painful. You had cried to him, and he held you with the gentleness no one but him knew to have with you. What made things worse in your head was the idea that this accident had indefinitely put a pause on your lives… just when you and Han decided it was a good time to start your family. Of course you were not in shape to have a baby, this broke your heart as it added up with all the other “can’t”s that began appearing in your life since coming home from the hospital.
And while you were better today, well over a year after the accident, you still saw the hints of guilt in your husband’s eyes every time he left home for a trip somewhere far away. If he could, he would bring you along, but you were still waiting for your citizenship and couldn’t leave the country until your paperwork was processed… it would be at least another 6 months.
You took your necklace and earrings off and left them near your vanity, you twisted your wedding ring in your finger and left it there. At night, you liked to keep it on as a reminder that your husband would always be there for you even if he wasn’t in bed with you.
Jisung got in the car at almost 1:00 am, he was tired and a little jet lagged. He wanted nothing more than to sleep in the comfort of his own bed, next to his favorite girl. 
He wondered how your day had been, since you only went back to work a couple months ago. He knew you were excited about it, about getting your life back. Han was also excited about seeing you shake the gloomy attitude, and it began the second you got your casts off and started your physical therapy. Jisung loved how determined you looked, a small girl fighting a 2lb weight in each hand. But he was so proud to see you face recovery with courage. 
As of late, you were able to do everything you used to although some days you had to take it easy thanks to your back injury that was still healing. 
Jisung entered the home and was met with silence. Not even Bbama made a sound, he knew his dog must have been sleeping with you upstairs. Upon entering your shared bedroom he could see he was correct, as you slept with a peaceful expression and an arm wrapped around the fluffy white dog. 
You heard the sound of light footsteps on the floor and the sheets moved behind you. Jisung’s scent of flowers and fresh rain reached your senses and the familiar weight of his arm around your waist confirmed his presence to you. A deep sigh left your body, all muscles in your body able to relax in his company as if he was a warm bath to drown all your worries in. 
“Didn’t mean to wake you, Y/N” he whispered against the exposed skin of your shoulder before laying a soft kiss there. “You should sleep.”
“I missed you,” you confessed with your hand leaving your little dog to hold onto your husband’s hand. “You should sleep too.”
“Mmm,” he nuzzled against your neck, “I’m sure I missed you more.” He babbled a little, exhaustion taking the best of him. 
You did not reply to that, already swallowed by sleep in his comforting embrace. 
***
“Oh my God…” Jisung ran to his small dog, pulling him away from the other small dog. “Where are your manners? How are you not embarrassed?” He talked to his own dog and you laughed at it from the bench. 
“Look at this,” Jisung’s ear were bright red as the other dog’s owner approached, “it’s not a female! Put that away!” He urged his dog to calm down. 
You laughed harder as your husband apologized for Bbama’s behavior. He had been humping other dogs a lot lately, you thought it was fair to either let him have a girlfriend or neuter him. Jisung was unsure of what to do, the scene at the dog park might be the wake up call he needed. 
You covered your mouth with your hand and fake-coughed to hide your laughter as Jisung walked back with the small dog on the leash again.
“Why is he so horny?” He whisper-yelled. 
This only fueled your amusement and you giggled. “He wants to get some, let the poor guy have sex!”
“I know he humps the duck plushie regularly, but this is a lot…” Jisung complained, “and why is he humping other male dogs?” 
You looked down at the innocent looking little white ball of fur and offered your husband a kind smile. “Love is love, Ji!” 
Jisung rolled his eyes but he put his hands up in defense, “not that I don’t respect that… but seriously, what’s up with him?” 
You shrugged, looking away you saw a couple with their big labrador and a little boy. The boy held the dog’s leash and the dog seemed to know it was better to pretend the boy was guiding him. 
“Maybe he knows I want a baby…” you said before registering that the words in your mind had left your mouth, “wait!” You snapped your head back in Jisung’s direction.
You felt all color drain from your face and your blood rushed to your feet. Jisung’s eyes were opened wide and round like plates, his lips pursed together made his cheeks look even larger and more comical. 
“You want a baby?” He blurted out with incredulity. 
To him it was the single craziest thing you had said ever. Why would you want a baby? You were technically recovered from the accident but you still lived with some reminders of it. He still lived with reminders of it too. And a baby? You carrying a baby? No. He felt his mouth go dry. It was not that he did not want you to have a baby. He would be thrilled to have someone as amazing as you be the mother of his kids; but he was not sure you were in good enough condition to do it. He would be scared to see you as affected as you had been after the accident.
“Well, I said it out loud, didn’t I?” You laughed nervously. 
Han swallowed and stared, paying little mind to Bbama pulling on his leash to smell some weeds growing around a bush.
“Now? Do you want it now?”
You sought his hand and intertwined your fingers together. He looked down at your hands with the same wide eyes. It was like you were playing with his heart. 
When he felt how cool your hand was and how regular your pulse felt against his skin, while his heart raced his thoughts and his palm became clammy in an instant… he wondered how it was possible you were this confident. 
“Of course not now. Not right now,” you shrugged further, leaning your chin on your shoulder to look back at him to your right. “But last year we were ready to try, right? I want to try again, Ji.” 
Jisung let out a quiet sound and squeezed your hand in fear. He could not bring himself to shut you down, he tried to think of how to say it. 
“I don’t think we should yet.” He decided to say, pursing his lips he looked down at his lap, “it’s still too soon for you. I don’t want you to get hurt having a baby.” 
Your heart sank and your small smile slipped from your face. Would he ever let it go? He could feel your hand go limp between his fingers, his gaze fell on your features and he sighed. Everything in him wanted to say yes, to give in to your every desire… but he had to be reasonable, he had to take care of you. He loved you too much to risk losing you because he got selfish, greedy and horny. 
“I’m-” you fought yourself not to cry, this was not a temper tantrum; this was a grown up conversation, you needed to remain calm. “I’m okay. I’m not going to get hurt.”
Jisung saw right through you, he pulled you into his side and let go of your hand to wrap his arm around you, smelling the soft fragrance of your shampoo as your hair flew in the air. Lavender and vanilla. He kissed your forehead. 
“Y/N, I love you. But you just got back to work, your tomatoes are going wild in the garden and there’s yarn everywhere; I think you have enough on your plate without adding a baby into the mix.”
You looked up at him and pouted, “I want a baby quokka to dress up in that yarn all over the house!” You admit with watery eyes. 
Jisung’s eyes lit up with realization. 
You had been knitting for weeks. More like months. Not even once did he stop to appreciate or wonder how and why you kept making little pieces of clothing. If he ever had to explain it to himself he would assume they were for your pet. And now he felt stupid. So stupid. 
This was something you had been thinking about for a while. A long while. 
“Babe…” he cried as he hugged you to him with both strong arms, “why didn’t you tell me before?!”
You wrapped an arm around his slender waist. 
“I didn’t think you were that oblivious,” you admitted. “Seriously, d’you ever notice what I knit?”
Your husband shut his eyes closed and held you, placing his chin on top of your head. You were not going to drop the subject. 
So he did the best thing he could think of: throw the ball to another player.
“...we need to hear from the doctor, Y/Nie…I need to know that you’ll be okay if we get pregnant.”
You pulled away from him with hopeful eyes, unable to get past the fact that he said “if we get pregnant”. 
“Is that a yes?” You asked in a small voice. 
Han pointed a finger in your direction, “that’s a maybe.” 
And although you tried to hide how excited it made you that he was in on it, you could not help but also feel nervous about what the doctor might say. You knew you did not want to wait much longer, but if there was really something going on with you that did not allow for the two of you to have a baby soon you would be disappointed. Jisung wouldn’t want to admit it, but seeing how bright your face became at his words and how the tears you were fighting spilled freely now as you kissed his cheek…he was kind of hopeful your checkup would turn out alright and all of his fears would go away. He did want so bad to have a baby with you.
————
Likes, Reblogs and Comments are welcome! Thank you for reading!
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theshitpostcalligrapher · 6 months ago
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req'd by @steampunk483
your honor my client pleads oopsy daisy
text: Your honor when I said "I am the murderer", I was using a metaphor
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saytrrose · 8 months ago
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Did you cut yourself??
Your honor I plead oopsie daisy
Yeah it was on accident but don’t worry I’m good!
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fidgettherat · 10 months ago
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May or may not be based off of true events that happened last night. All I can say is that, your honor, I plead oopsie-daisy.
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fictionkinfessions · 10 months ago
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your honor i plead oopsie daisies -marx (from kirby not the historical figure guy. dummy)
📦
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dullweapons · 11 months ago
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Your Honor my client pleads oopsie daisy to committing war crimes ✨
he just a baby ! ( drawing some ayrins so i have icons lol )
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